#the Friendsgiving follow up will be real one day- when I don’t know I’ll think about it-

[magolandandfriends]

What are you guys gonna do for thanksgiving. Will it be chaotic.

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

Magolor: I can’t speak for what Susie and Taranza are doing, but it should be less chaotic with me and Marx today, but when we all get together I bet it’s gonna be insanely chaotic.

(I’m gonna post more because I’m on break! *doesn’t post* *doesn’t post* *doesn’t post* *doesn’t post* *doesn’t post* *doesn’t post* *doesn’t post* *doesn’t post* *doesn’t post* *doe-)

(Bro I wanted to do more for this but I don’t think I have the energy to draw rn- I need to add a follow up drawing to the list of things I have to do- ok listen in my defense I was working on a comic for an ask then I just stopped working on everything why I don’t know and I haven’t worked on my animation for my class bruh I’m sLACKING-)

(Ok no more of me yapping happy (late) turkey day :D I don’t really celebrate it but if you do I hope you had a good time- if you don’t I hope you still had a good day 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️ I apologize for getting- nothing out- even though I said I was gonna be more productive with answering asks but my break went by even quicker than I expected- you know what if I’m lucky I can get more asks answered over the weekend but I have no clue if it’ll happen!!! D: I’m just gonna try my best and focus on my school work (animation project) over the next few days)

(But lemme talk about the AU quickly- trivia for you guys Marx and Magolor are watching DHMIS (both TV show and YT series) Marx loves the puppets and wants to show Magolor the spooky puppet show (Marx is info dumping on every 3 minutes- they’re both enjoying it)- I don’t know much about Pirika I didn’t read the novel she was from but she looks super cute and based off the images from the novel I think Pirika and Taranza would be friends)

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Nine

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: reading canon eris discourse literally makes me dizzy but in this fic he's pretty chill

***

“Any plans for Thanksgiving?” Emerie asks as they stroll between the shelves of the library.

Nesta runs her finger down the spine of a textbook on corporate law. “Not really,” she murmurs distantly.

She’s been doing her best not to think of the upcoming holidays, in fact. Cassian is going to Velaris for Thanksgiving, and of course Feyre invited Nesta as well, but…

She’s always ignored her sister’s holiday invites, but this year is different. Cassian, a recent constant in her life, will be gone, enjoying himself for the first time in months without her presence. And Nesta will be at the cabin alone, because of course she can’t celebrate Thanksgiving with Feyre’s found family. Being friends with Cassian hasn’t changed that.

“Well,” Emerie is saying, “a bunch of us can’t go home for the holidays for one reason or another, so we’re hosting a small Friendsgiving at my apartment. You’re invited.”

Nesta glances at her, surprised. “Who’s going to be there?”

“The same guys from drinks night: Eris, Justinian, Isaac. Maybe a plus one or two if we’re lucky.” She elbows Nesta. “Maybe a girl for me to take home.”

“I thought the party was at your home already?”

“You know what I mean. Anyway, are you coming?”

Nesta purses her lips. “But you said it was a Friendsgiving. Those guys aren’t my friends.”

Emerie looks at her like she's insane. “Uh, why not?”

“Because,” Nesta states, “we’ve only had one real interaction all semester.”

Emerie scoffs. “You talk to them all the time in class, Nesta.”

“Yes. Out of necessity.”

Emerie raises a high brow. “That’s how you view spending time with us? A ‘necessity’?”

She’s upset, and Nesta doesn’t know what she said wrong. “That’s not what I meant,” she tries to say.

“Then what did you mean?”

“I just…” Nesta shrugs. “I thought it took more to make friends than a single night out.” Those are the rules, right?

Emerie narrows her dark eyes at her. “I’m sorry we’re not up to standard, then. But for your information, those guys liked you. I’m sure they considered you a friend.” She turns to leave, but Nesta is so stunned she can’t even try to stop her. The click of Emerie’s heels resonate long after she’s gone.

“Hey,” Cassian comes up to her later that day. “About Thanksgiving—”

Nesta drops her dinner plate onto the island with a clatter. “What is it with everybody and Thanksgiving?” Her voice is unnecessarily loud.

Cassian blinks. “Well, it’s only a few days away—”

“I know,” she says. “I’m fine staying home alone. We never celebrated Thanksgiving growing up, you know? It’s really not a big deal.”

“Will you let me finish, Nesta?”

Nesta presses her lips together.

Cassian takes a breath. “I think you should— I would really love it if you came to Velaris with me this weekend.”

There’s a silence as he waits for her to answer.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she says after a moment.

Before he can press the subject, she blurts, “I already have plans.”

“You do?” Nesta can’t tell if he sounds disappointed or surprised.

She straightens her back, lying through her teeth, “Yes. Some friends from school are getting together for a Friendsgiving, and I’m going.” She almost bites her tongue on the word friends. She doesn’t even know what that means anymore.

“That’s amazing,” Cassian says, though he still looks a little taken aback. “I’m glad.” He looks down at the marble counter then, trying to smile. “Sucks for me, though.”

Nesta huffs a laugh. “Please, like you won’t be having fun with your friends whether I’m there or not.”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but why go for half the fun when I could go for double?”

“That’s not how math works,” she snipes.

Cassian grabs a fork so he can sit down across from Nesta. “Don’t you ever bring up correct math in this house again.” He points his silverware at her threateningly.

From there, they can devolve into their usual dinner habit of bantering that leads to more serious conversation. Cassian has recently been on a French movie binge, Nesta learns, and even though she despises the French, she listens closely to his analysis of each film and offers her own thoughts back. She even promises to rewatch one or two of his favorites at a later time. The giddiness he gives in return makes her almost wish she had accepted his invitation earlier, if only so she could keep making him happy.

God. What is he doing to her?

Later that night, Nesta pulls out her phone and opens up her messages with Emerie. She doesn’t want to have rejected Cassian just to end up staying home alone all weekend. She types out five different messages and erases them before settling on an apathetic, Is the invite for Thursday still on?

Emerie takes her time to reply, likely to punish Nesta. After some minutes, she finally texts, Yes.

It’s all she can expect from Emerie, and it’s all she needs to see.

Nesta: I’ll be there.

***

“Cassian!” Feyre swings open the door with an overjoyed smile, ready to greet him.

He laughs and steps in for a hug, going so far as to lift her feet off the floor. Because damn him, even with his conflicted feelings towards Feyre lately, he’s missed her. He’s missed all of his friends, even though he’s found something precious while he was away from them.

He’s ushered into the penthouse, which Feyre and Rhys insist on calling an “apartment”, as if that softens the blow of their extravagant wealth. Cassian and everybody else goes along with it, however, because the rich have committed worse crimes. At least that’s what Nesta says.

“Rhys is out getting last minute beer from the gas station,” Feyre says as she takes his overnight bag. “And you’re the first to arrive, which means I have you all to myself.” She whirls on him with a predatory gleam in her eye. “Tell me everything about the last two months with you and Nesta, ASAP.”

Cassian’s heart starts racing at the unexpected interrogation, but he laughs it off and shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re just roommates.”

“Well, I know that.” Feyre rolls her eyes. “But what is it like? How is it going? Is she okay? Are you okay?”

Before he can answer a single question, Feyre goes on. “I haven’t heard from either of you in eons, it feels like. Is Nesta still picky about her foods touching? Does she get upset when you play music too loud? Does she—”

“Jesus, Feyre,” Cassian interrupts loudly. “Not everything in my life is about your sister. Give it a rest.” He takes his duffel bag back from her.

“I’m just curious!” she says indignantly, but Cassian is already heading up the winding stairs to his guest room, going as fast as he can without outright running.

“I need to get washed up!” he announces before Feyre can make him stop and come back for more questioning.

In the safety of his bedroom, he releases a breath.

If Cassian thought keeping Nesta’s health issues from Feyre was difficult, he couldn’t have predicted how painful it would be to hide his feelings for Nesta. Still, he doesn’t dare expose what he can’t yet define, especially not to his nosy-ass friends. Some things just aren’t matters for gossip.

***

Nesta hesitantly enters Emerie’s small studio apartment to a party in full swing; “full swing” being Justinian and Isaac playing video games on the couch while Emerie is in the kitchen area attempting to make drinks. Nesta stops near the kitchenette and crosses her arms, surveying the scene. “Something about this doesn’t look right,” she says aloud. Emerie doing the hard work while the men play? Antithetical to her very nature.

“I know,” is all Emerie says without looking up from whatever hellish concoction she’s whipping up. “But I’m the host, so this is my role.”

“Hey, Nesta,” the guys speak up together, not taking their eyes off the TV. Isaac is the first to break his concentration from the game, glancing at Nesta and doing a double take. “Woah, you look good today.” Is he blushing?

Emerie finally looks up at that, eyeing Nesta’s modest black dress. “A little funeral-chic, but still hot as ever, babe.” Right after, she makes a face at the term babe. “Nope, I tried it and I hate it.”

Nesta hates it just as much, but goes over to help Emerie with what she now realizes are oddly colored Jello shots. She picks up a little plastic cup with dark jelly in it and wiggles it around. “What color is this supposed to be?”

“Brown.” Emerie blows a piece of escaped hair out of her face. “They were supposed to be Thanksgiving themed.”

Nesta surveys the shots arranged in various fall colors. Definitely an interesting choice for a twenty-four year old law student, but what did Nesta know about parties?

“Where’s Eris?” she asks casually as she helps arrange more cups. Her argument with Emerie is far from forgotten, but the two women are too alike for their own good. They’ll ignore the lingering tension until it dissipates, and that will be the end of that.

Before Emerie can answer Nesta’s question, a loud bang comes from the entryway as the already open door hits the wall. Eris Vanserra sweeps inside in his designer coat and sophisticated boots, followed by a new, striking face. “It’s fucking freezing,” he announces, just as the new guy quietly shuts the door behind them.

“You’re late,” Emerie says in her usual flat tone.

“I had to pick up my twerp brother.” Eris tilts his head toward the redhead behind him.

“I didn’t ask to come,” the new guy, Eris’s brother, chimes in.

Nesta is perked up now, angling to get a better look at him. Same hair color, same eyes, different skin tone from Eris. He looks like the relaxed, unpretentious version of his brother. Someone pauses the video game.

“I’m Lucien,” he awkwardly raises a hand.

Justinian looks at everybody else. “I’m confused— does this mean we can finally replace Eris’s punk ass?”

The thought of an unexpected guest first makes Nesta clench up, especially when she’s seated right next to the damn guy at the dining table. New people means everything about the regular social routine will be changed up, and she isn’t at all prepared for it.

It takes maybe fifteen minutes for her to realize that Lucien is nothing to worry about— much quicker than she’s ever warmed up to a stranger before.

He has the affected quiet confidence of someone who would rather be anywhere else but here. No one knows that mask better than Nesta.

Against all odds, she’s the first to initiate a conversation.

“Why are you here?” she says bluntly.

No hello, no how are you. Fuck, this is why she doesn’t talk to people.

Lucien looks surprised at the sudden acknowledgment, but answers, “My plans got cancelled at the last minute.” His mouth tightens as he looks toward his brother. “So Eris dragged me here instead.”

“You don’t like your brother?”

Lucien narrows his eyes at her, defensive. “Is this an interrogation or something?”

Embarrassment heats Nesta’s face, but she hides it under her usual cold stare. “Never mind.”

She turns back to her food, refocusing on an anecdote Isaac is giving about a girl he met the other week. A moment later, Lucien says lowly, “I can’t stand my brother.”

She laughs a little too loudly at that, and everyone looks at her.

Isaac grins. “See, Nesta thinks it’s a funny story.”

Nesta frowns. “No, I don’t. You told it last week and no one laughed.”

His face falls. Eris laughs out loud at him, and Emerie tosses wadded up napkins at both men. “You’re both deeply uninteresting. Let’s talk about me.”

She launches into a heated discussion about how she plans to defeat “that bitch Brian” for the internship at Velaris’s biggest law firm next summer, with Eris interjecting that she wouldn’t survive a day in the big city. Nesta turns back to Lucien. “I understand how you feel.”

“You hate Eris too?”

“No, but I have sisters.” Eris is nice, if a pretentious asshole at times, but she empathizes with Lucien either way.

He raises a brow. “And you’re here for Thanksgiving instead of with them?”

For the first time all night, Nesta remembers that Cassian is having fun in a spacious penthouse with Feyre and Elain and the others, likely eating much nicer food than store-bought turkey and Jello shots, and she almost deflates. Almost. Because as much as she enjoys this— spending time with people that belong to her, not Feyre or anybody else— there’s a hollow space in the room that Cassian usually fills. She doesn’t know how she can miss someone and be this thoroughly content at the same time, but she tries not to ponder on her feelings.

She shrugs at Lucien’s question. “We’re all here instead of with our families.”

What would have been a thirty-minute meal on Nesta’s own stretches into a long night of full bellies and fuller conversation. Justinian demands a toast in honor of Friendsgiving, and Emerie tells him not to pull that cringy shit, but everyone ends up raising their small Jello shots to clink against each other.

Thanksgiving might be Nesta’s favorite holiday.

***

Cassian doesn’t know what this feeling is: the itching, nervy sense of impatience that plagues him the longer dinner drags on. All he knows is that tonight Mor’s laughter is just a little too loud, and Amren’s quips are just a little too sharp, and Rhys’s stories aren’t very interesting for once.

Nothing about his friends have changed, but somehow, Cassian feels different. Empty. He can’t stop thinking about what Nesta is doing right now.

He checks his phone under the table for the sixth time in three minutes, for what, he doesn’t know. Maybe she’s in trouble and needs his help. Maybe she’s having a bad night and wants to talk to him. Maybe she’s just bored and thinking about him.

None of this is true, evidently, because his phone remains dead silent.

“Cassian.” It’s Elain’s gentle voice that draws him out of his head. “What’s it like having a roommate for once? I know you and Nesta love being alone.”

He nearly jumps out of his skin. “Alone? No we don’t. Why would we love being alone together?”

Elain looks at him like he’s grown a new head. “I didn’t mean alone together. It’s just that you’ve always spent your time boarded up in that mountain cabin on your own, and before Nesta moved in, she wouldn’t leave her apartment even to see me.”

“I never thought of it that way,” Feyre butts in. She whirls to Cassian with her hands under her chin. “All this time I was wondering what you and Nesta living together would be like, and I didn’t even consider you guys avoiding each other.”

Cassian scoffs a laugh but doesn’t know how to respond. He just wants Feyre and Elain to stop poking at this raw, fresh thing in his life before his nerves get worse, so he turns to Amren and brings up the thing he knows will shut everyone down: work. “How much longer is Rhys gonna have you playing double agent at Adriatic?” She’s been acting as brand ambassador to the West Coast-based conglomerate for the past five months, playing nice while gathering information on Night Court Inc.’s biggest competitor.

Groans resound around the table, but Amren’s eyes brighten frightfully. “If he keeps me there any longer, I might end up staying for good.”

Rhysand smiles thinly. “Amren has a crush on their new CFO. If she keeps going on about Varian’s pretty face I might pull her out of Adriatic by the end of the year.”

Just as Cassian is about to convince himself to care, his phone vibrates in his hand. Everything tunes out as he sees Nesta’s name on the screen, attached to a new text. He clicks into it.

A picture of Nesta and her friends around a dinner table pops up, smiling and laughing. His heart catches in his throat at the image.

“What did we say about phones during dinner, Cassian?” Rhysand interrupts just then.

Cassian stands up quickly, stammering, “Uh, I just need to answer this call— it’s important.” Azriel is staring up at him like he’s lost his mind, but Cassian doesn’t notice or care as he rushes out of the room with his phone in a death grip, overcome.

Alone in a hallway bathroom, he lets himself look at the picture again, hungrily absorbing every detail he couldn’t catch the first time around: her face is flushed and her hair is down, wilder than usual. Her smile is so rarely genuine that it kills him a little just to see it; he doesn’t know whether to be relieved or pained that she’s having such a good time, that she isn’t missing him like he’s missing her. A sharp-faced girl that Cassian assumes is Emerie is holding the camera, likely having stolen Nesta’s phone to demand a picture, and the two women are surrounded by guys he doesn’t recognize. Except—

The face beside Nesta’s catches Cassian’s attention, and he clicks to zoom in. “Is that Lucien Vanserra?” he mutters.

Elain’s ex gets to hang out with Nesta while he doesn’t? This is fucked.

He doesn’t have a reason for his actions as he shoves his phone into his pocket and exits the bathroom. He just knows he needs to get out of here, away from this place that’s so far from Nesta’s heart.

His keys and coat hang near the front door, and he can hear Feyre’s voice from the dining room. “Cassian? Where are you—”

The door slams behind him before she can finish.

***

Being the only one who refused to get drunk off Jello shots, Eris offers to drive Nesta home for the night.

While Lucien is passed out in the backseat without a care in the world, Nesta is so awake she can feel her nerves buzzing. She knows as soon as she leaves this car, the bittersweet loneliness that comes after a party will set in, but for now…

What a night. She sighs and lets her head fall back against the seat, a small smile gracing her lips.

“Damn,” Eris lets out a low whistle as he pulls up to the mountain cabin. “This is your place?”

She lifts her head, realizing she’s home. “Ah. It’s only a temporary living situation,” she explains. “It’s my— friend’s place.”

“Friend or sugar daddy?” Eris smirks.

Nesta scowls, grabbing her stuff and pushing open the door to leave. It’s not Eris’s fault she’s unable to take a joke about Cassian, but that doesn’t change the sensitivity of the topic.

“Hey, wait—” he calls after her.

She pauses to look back at him. He hesitates, then says, “Good night.”

“Take care of your brother,” she directs. Stepping out of his fancy car, she shuts the door and raises a hand in goodbye, watching him pull away from the cabin.

Alone in the driveway, Nesta stands under the moonlight for a long moment, letting the chill seep into her bones. She’s dawdling.

She pauses again at the front door, her hand on the doorknob. The dreaded loneliness is already coming over her, crawling over her skin and making a home in the cage of her ribs.

A whole weekend without Cassian.

Maybe she should have asked Emerie if she could stay over for the night, but a part of her knows it would have been futile. Emerie can’t replace Cassian’s constant presence, no matter how much Nesta likes her.

It’s only three days. She steels herself and unlocks the door, prepared to be greeted by darkness and hollow silence.

The first thing she notices when she steps inside is the sound of crackling, followed by a warm glow from the living area. The lights are all off, but the fireplace is ablaze.

Nesta’s brows furrow, confused, but then she sees on the couch— “Cassian?”

***

a/n: i know justinian and isaac are names for side characters that sjm has used before but in this case they're completely different ocs.

taglist: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @sensitiveillyrian @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja

[shadow-assassin-blix]

I Wonder

Frankie Morales x reader.

Based off the song by Shawn Mendes, because it keeps running around in my head.

I wonder if I'm being real Do I speak my truth or do I filter how I feel?

For the past year, you have been dating Frankie Morales on and off. It was a strange relationship at times. You didn’t quite know how or why you both would stop speaking to one another. It would just… happen. You would go on several dates, and then suddenly one of you would pull away.

Either he would pull away thinking he wasn’t good enough for you, or you would pull away when your fear of being in love overwhelmed you. You had been hurt far too many times in the past, and you couldn’t stand the thought of someone as amazing as Frankie turning into your worst nightmare.

I wonder, wouldn't it be nice To live inside a world that isn't black and white?

For Frankie he thought you were perfect. You were beautiful, and smart. You adored his daughter just as much as he did. He worried though… He worried that one day his past would catch up to him. That he might fall off the wagon that he spent years trying to stay on. Hell, the only reason he’s been able to for so long is because Pope lived a few blocks down and checked up on him often. He was nothing but an old junkie. Why the hell would you love him?

I wonder what it's like to be my friends Hope that they don't think I'll forget about them

Both of their friends shook their heads every time they pulled away. Why couldn’t those two see? Why couldn’t they see how much happier they were together? How miserable they both are apart?

All they could was be supportive as possible and help them pick up the pieces when they inevitably broke away again.

I wonder why I'm so afraid Of saying something wrong, I never said I was a saint

It was November, and you were both happy. The two of you had spent Halloween together, watching horror movies and giving out candy. You even spoke about doing a Friendsgiving this year. A week before it though, Frankie had begun ignoring your calls and texts. He barely spoke to you when you were together.

‘He’s pulling away again.’ You thought as you went home alone. You sat with your back pressed against the front door. ‘I don’t think I can keep doing this.’

I wonder, when I cry into my hands I'm conditioned to feel like it makes me less of a man

Frankie was aware… His negative thoughts getting the best of him. ‘They don’t love you. Why would they? You’re nothing but a washed-up pilot. A druggie. A nobody.’

He stared down at his sleeping daughter, with a sad smile. ‘The only thing in this world I didn’t fuck up.’

He moved into his bedroom, turning off his phone when he saw that you were calling him. ‘They deserve better.’

He sat on the floor next to his bed. He leaned his head back, his hands covering his face as tears silently fell.

And I wonder if someday you'll be by my side And tell me that the world will end up alright

You spoke to your best friend the next day. Voicing your concerns.

“I think… I think he’s trying to leave again… but damnit... I don’t want him to!” You nearly shouted as you paced up and down in your living room.

“Why not? What makes this time different? It’s not the first time either of you have pulled away before. What’s changed?” Your friend asked pouring a glass of wine for the both of you.

“I… I don’t know…” You lied not wanting to say it out loud.

“I think you do. He’s the first guy you have dated in years, that was honest about his past. That’s honest about his life. That’s been loyal to you. You don’t see it, but he looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars. So, say it,” Your friend commanded with an eyebrow raised.

You paced a bit more, gnawing on your bottom lip anxiously.

“I love him,” You admitted finally, sighing heavily.

“Then what are you standing here for complaining to me? Go get him,” Your friend urged you with a smile.

I wonder I wonder

You stood at his door, and could hear him with the guys, watching college football. You took a deep breath and knocked on his door.

A moment passed before Santi appeared at the door. “Hey? You here for Frankie?”

“Yeah, uhh… could you… tell him to come out here please?”

He nodded his head and walked back in. A minute passed and Frankie came out with a confused look.

“Hey. Um. What’s up?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck, uncomfortable.

“We need to talk,” You simply say and dragged him over to his garage.

He followed, before leaning against his truck, his arms crossed.

“I’m tired of this, Frankie. I’m tired of the on and off shit. I can’t deal with it anymore,” You began rushed and panicked.

“Are you… break-“ Frankie began to ask his eyes wide.

“No. I’m trying to say… that I want to be with you. That I’m in love with you. That I hope you love me too, and if you dont I will leave and never come back,” You were beginning to ramble.

Right before I close my eyes The only thing that's on my mind Been dreamin' that you feel it too

Frankie couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He stopped you.

“Wait. Go back. Repeat that one part,” Frankie requested moving to stand directly before you.

“I’ll leave and never come back?” You parroted with flinch.

“No. Before that,” He shook his head, pulling you closer.

“That I want to be with you?” You were dodging now.

“I mean that part was good too, but I meant the thing you said right after?” He was resting his forehead against yours now, his smile slowly growing.

“I’m in love with you,” You finally repeated staring into his eyes.

At that, he pulled you into a kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, as he lifted you up when he stood up straight.

“I love you too,” He whispered against your lips as he pulled away. 

I wonder what it's like to be loved by you

[joviewinchester]

25 Days of Christmas Special!

Oh my god. He’s so pretty. I need help. My mom literally told me I’m gonna end up marrying a criminal one day and I was like. Oh. Thanks, mom. We have good times. Like if I shift to the Vampire Diaries you best bet I am going to marry a criminal but like here, eh. Maybe. I’m probably on the FBI watchlist at this point. Side note, I love Caroline but she’s getting hard core dissed in this thing so like I guess that’s a warning. Also sorry that this one is a day late. I had writers block.

3.) Secret Santa

“Why did you invite him?” Caroline asked Y/N quietly.

“I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to you. He was literally trapped alone in a prison world for years of his life. He hasn’t had any pleasant Christmases.”

“Oh, I don’t know why I’d be upset that you brought a sociopath that murdered his entire family.”

“Yeah. I don’t know why you’d be upset either but we’re all here for secret Santa, so I guess you’ll just have to deal with it.” Y/N sassed.

“Yeah. Merry freaking Christmas. I have a sociopath and Damon Salvatore in our house. Our house Y/N. Ours.”

“You really shouldn’t be upset. I’m pretty sure l am the only person in this house right now who hasn’t killed someone. Also, you literally look like you want to murder me right now, so you and Kai have more in common than I thought.” Y/N said. She patted her older sister on the back before leaving the kitchen where Caroline insisted on a sidebar.

As Y/N walked into the sitting room, she heard Caroline groan in frustration.

“You do know that more than half of the room heard that conversation, right?” Damon asked as Y/N sat in between him and Kai.

“Yep. Do I care? No.”

“I think you’ve been hanging around those two too much, Y/N.” Bonnie said gesturing towards Damon and Kai.

“That hurts Bon Bon. It hurts.” Damon said sarcastically placing his hand over his chest. Bonnie smiled but rolled her eyes.

“Well, now you made Caroline into the Grinch, so hopefully she doesn’t take it out on the rest of us.” Elena said.

“I heard that!” Caroline yelled from the kitchen. They all laughed under their breath. Seconds later Caroline came out of the kitchen carrying cookies, a light scowl planted on her face. It soon turned into a fake smile, you know one of those scary Caroline fake smiles.

“Hmm. I’m fine. I’m totally fine. This’ll be the best secret Santa ever. Who knows? Might even top Friendsgiving where Jo almost died on the couch. Such low expectations to meet. It has to be better, right? Right?”

“Okay. Okay. Let’s just put down the hot tray of cookies. That’s it.” Stefan said patting her on the shoulder.

Caroline let out a sigh, trying to calm herself. “So, let’s get started.”

The tension in the air was thick. Kai hadn’t said a word. Every time Y/N looked over he was on Twitter. At one point she almost laughed because she saw him looking at Ralph Macchio’s Twitter.

“Okay so, everyone knows how this works right? Give the person’s name you drew last week the gift. It’s simple seriously. If you don’t know how this works you’re an idiot.” Caroline said.

“Okay. So, the passive aggressive attitude hasn’t passed has it?” Y/N asked.

Caroline rolled her eyes. “Let’s just get this over with. Also, I’d appreciate if you found somewhere else to stay at tonight.”

“Rude. Yo, Damon, can I stay in one of the spare bedrooms tonight?”

“Sure. Problem solved blondie.” He said addressing Caroline in her least favorite way. She scoffed.

“I don’t get a say? It’s my house too.” Stefan chimed in.

“Do you have something to say to me there, Stef?” Y/N asked.

“No, I would just like for my brother to console me before having someone spend the night in my house.”

“Our house Stefan. Ours.”

“Oh lovely. Just what we need! Another sibling feud!” Elena exlclaimed.

“Okay, you know what? I’m just gonna go. I don’t want in the middle of this whatsoever. Elena, are you coming?” Bonnie asked.

“Don’t have to ask me twice.” She said following Bonnie out the door.

“Great! Look what you did, Y/N!”

“What I did?! You’re the one that’s being a bitch!”

“You did not just go there!”

“I’m the oldest one Stefan! I make the decisions!”

“Well you sure don’t act like it, Damon!”

The arguments overlapped as Kai stood in the corner observing.

“Heh. Just how Christmas was at my house.” Kai smirked to himself.

Kai didn’t quite catch what was said that caused it to happen, but Y/N punched Caroline in the face.

She gasped popping her broken nose back in place. “Jerk!” She exclaimed.

“Bitch!” Y/N said back. She flipped her off and ran upstairs. Minutes later she came back down carrying a bag of essentials. “Have fun telling mom why I’m not home by curfew, you dumbass! Come on, Kai.”

He chuckled to himself a bit, then followed her. Not long after, they had arrived at Kai’s apartment.

“You coming in or what? You’re staying here now right?” He asked.

“I was just gonna like sleep in my car, but since your offering…”

“You’re welcome anytime your sister’s being stuck up and bitchy.”

“Oh so literally 24/7? Thanks.” She joked.

“Sorry you had to listen to that.” She muttered as they entered the building.

“Eh. I’m used to it.”

They entered his apartment. Y/N threw her stuff beside the couch. There was an awkward moment of silence before Kai broke it.

“I’m hungry. Are you hungry?”

“Yeah. You wanna go to the Grill or something?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

They drove to the Grill and entered to see Damon at the bar drinking whiskey. What else was new?

“Stef kick you out of the house?” Y/N joked.

“Oh ha ha, Y/N. No, I just don’t want to deal with his bullshit. Well, would you look at that? You brought the psychopath with you.”

“Sociopath.” Kai corrected. The door swung open revealing Bonnie and Elena.

“Wow. We all try to avoid each other and end up in the same place.” Elena said.

“Well, merry freaking Christmas and a happy new year. My sister hates me. It’s 7:00 pm and I’m drinking. And I haven’t even stabbed anyone with a candy cane yet. I’ve always wanted to do that.” She mumbled the last sentence to herself. She downed a shot.

“Also you aren’t even 21 and are drinking in a public place.” Elena added. Y/N glared at her.

“You know, I’m starting to worry about your violent tendencies.” Bonnie stated.

“I think it suits her.” Damon smirked.

“I definitely agree with Damon for once in my life. It’s hot.”

Y/N elbowed Kai in the ribs.

“Ow. Why didn’t he get elbowed?” Kai complained.

“He wasn’t flirting with me.”

Y/N ordered some chicken strips and French fries from Matt.

“You’re such a child.” Damon said. “Oh I’m sorry I would rather eat chicken strips than a salad or a blood bag. I’m not a vampire or a real adult, Damon. You should know that by now.”

“Oh yeah. I forgot in the midst of everything. Merry Christmas, Kai.” Y/N handed him a Walkman and a cassette. “I made you a mixtape. I understand if you don’t like use it or anything but…”

“No, Y/N, I like it. Thanks…Wow. Ugh, I’m having that mushy feeling again. Gross. Feelings are hard.”

Bonnie and Elena gave each other a look. “Damon, let’s go play pool or something.” Bonnie said. Her and Elena forced him to get up.

Once they got over to the pool table, Damon glared at them. “No. No. No. We were doing damage control. Are you two seriously going to let your best friend fall in love with him?”

“Look, this could potentially make him less of a threat. Wouldn’t you like to let the issue fix itself for once? Kai has feelings now. He is in love with her. We keep it that way, he might not go on another murderous rampage.”

“How did you say that so nonchalantly? He has feelings because he literally killed his brother.” Damon said gesturing toward him.

“Oh god. They’re making out. That is literally disgusting. How are you all okay with this?”

“I don’t want to do something for once. I agree with Elena. Let the problem fix itself.” Bonnie said.

“You know what? Fine. I won’t interfere. I’ll just be watching. I’ll l be waiting because sooner or later this is going to bite you both in the ass, just like when she was with Kol. The cycle is repeating, and I’m not helping this time when you just ‘leave it alone’”

Damon left, and Bonnie and Elena both shrugged and started playing pool. “Merry Christmas Elena.” “Merry Christmas Bonnie.”

[polyintheburbs]

Conflicted: an insomniacs random ramblings

I have insomnia so here are some random thoughts. 

This is actually my side blog, but it has about 10 thousand more followers than my main blog. Is it that I’m much more interesting when I hide behind a persona? If I posted more about the real me, would I lose followers? Does anyone care to see who I actually am? Would that scare them away? Maybe I have the same number of real people following me on both blogs, but more spam bots on this one? Would anyone follow my other blog if I cross-promoted it, or would it just be more dick pics in my inbox? 

Speaking of dick pics: I’m a straight cis male. Don’t send me yours. I don’t care to see it and I won’t show it to either my spouse or girlfriend. I also never send any nude pics unsolicited, but if you are a mutual and want to share pics, you just have to ask. But it is quid pro quo. 

I thank you for those of you that continue to follow me despite my low volume of posting lately. Life gets in the way and I don’t take the time that I need to write. 

Same goes for asks. I have quite a few in my inbox. I’ll get around to answering them eventually. Feel free to add to my queue. 

How long can I make this post before you get bored? Has it happened already? Did I lose you? Maybe I’ll write something controversial further down to see if anyone is actually paying attention. 

More on my not writing much: I have a day job that involves writing. So I sit at a computer all day typing away. Many times, the last thing I want to do when I get home is to go back to sitting at the computer. Also, I enjoy spending time with the people in my life. Still, I feel like I have neglected this blog and I should block time out so I write more. I’d love to eventually write a book about being polyam. Maybe a new laptop would help. 

We live a block away from our favorite dive bar. It’s both a blessing and a curse. We can go there anytime. We are friends with the entire staff and most of the regulars. They all know about us and refer to us as the “quad”. The drinks are cheap. But we can go there anytime. And often do just out of default. Once you get to know all the regulars, the people watching diminishes a bit. It was Willow and Sirius’ bar before we moved into the area, and I often feel like I am a little bit of an outsider. Willow tells me I’m being ridiculous and she’s probably right. It’s also weird that Willow’s and my kids like to hang out there with us. I’m glad that these young adults are comfortable hanging with their cool parents (their words), but maybe not all the time. It’s also nearly impossible to have a quiet conversation between ourselves without one of the regulars coming up to chat. One of the regulars is in an unhappy relationship and when she gets drunk, she gets handsy with whoever she happens to be sitting close to. 

Epstein didn’t kill himself.  

Does the title of this post even remotely cover what the actual post is about? When I was laying in bed trying to sleep, I came up with the title first. Now I don’t think it works. But I can’t think of anything better. (Edit: the original title was just “Conflicted” but I changed it to warn readers that this would not be an entertaining or insightful post.)

We went to a friendsgiving party with a bunch of lifestyle people last week. There were swingers, polyams, BDSM, and all variety of combinations. It was a ton of fun. I miss going to those types of events. Not for the shenanigans, but for meeting new people and visiting with friends. I’m not great at small talk. I’m getting better. And small talk is so much easier at a lifestyle event. The vibe is completely different than in a muggle bar. There, a woman’s defenses seem to go up the moment you talk to them. Or maybe I just come off as creepy to muggles. I don’t know. I feel like I don’t belong in the muggle world. 

I don’t feel like I’m much of a swinger either. Even when we were going to play parties on a regular basis, my game was not very strong. I could chat with a woman, but when it came to the transition, I could never get it right. At this party, we were never intending to play with anyone else so there was no pressure. We could just chat. 

I wonder what Zelda and Willow will think when they read this? At times I think I’m not being honest enough on here and other times I think I’m way too honest. They’ll let me know either way. 

Maybe I’ll claim that I wrote this in my sleep. Yeah, that’s the ticket. This post has been brought to you by Ambien. Ambien-it’s not just for sleep eating. 

If you made it this far: congratulations. There was probably more that I was planning to write about, but given the late hour, I’ve already forgotten. If there’s one thing that I’d like you to know, it’s this: I’m here and love writing to you all. Send in your questions and let’s have a nice chat. Also Epstein didn’t kill himself.   

[hellas-himself]

Crack Ship Holidays

Friendsgiving pt. 5 

The day after Thanksgiving is when our Christmas begins. We put up decorations and the tree and then our holiday season ends in the middle of January. I had meant to post this sooner but it’s been hectic lol but y'all already know the deal. 

.

.

“I’m so glad you could come with me,” Aelin says and loops her arm around mine. “Elide didn’t believe me when I said the lines wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Mor told me the same thing.”

“And where is she?”

“Hung over. She’ll be doing all her shopping from the comfort of her bed.”

“So smart… But I have no patience for online shipping.”

We put the bags in the trunk of her car.

“You still haven’t gotten anything for Cassian,” she says as we get in the car.

“You haven’t gotten anything for Rowan.”

“Touché, Archeron.”

I roll my eyes and laugh.

“What did you get him last year?”

I hate that I blush but Aelin is busy backing out to notice.

“I wasn’t working last Christmas… But I painted a few pieces for everyone. What did you get Rowan?”

“Two things- One present to open in front of family, and another for when we were alone.”

When I look at her, she’s grinning and wriggling her eye brows.

“Christmas is also when Cas and I started getting… closer. We didn’t actually do anything until New Year’s but that’s beside the point.”

“What do you give a man who has everything?” she muses.

“I-”

My phone vibrates and I pull it out of my pocket. Adela Rodriguez tagged you and Cassian Rodriguez in a post.

“What is it?”

“Cassian’s mom… she posted something on Facebook- and tagged me in it.”

“Well, what is it?”

I tap the notification and watch the screen change from my home screen to a picture of Cassian and I with her. Cassian is standing behind us, trapping us in a bear hug. Adela and I are laughing.

“It’s us… She wrote me something… Mi yerna querida, gracias por amar a mi hijo como el se merece.”

“And she speaks Spanish, too,” Aelin deadpans before giving me a smile.  

I laugh. “Says the musician… But yes. I practically lived in their house, so I learned…”

“What does that mean, though?”

“My beloved daughter in law, thank you for loving my son the way he deserves.”

“Oh, my god. That’s so sweet! How did dinner go with them?”

“It was amazing. I can’t wait to get the Christmas card in the mail. I’m in it this year.”

“That’s adorable.”

“What about you?”

“It was really nice… Aedion and Lys came over with Evangeline. Manon and Dorian stopped by with Elide and Lorcan. Fenris and Connall always spend the holidays with us, they brought the dessert this year.

“Rowan’s parents passed away when he was really young, as did my mine… Rowan isn’t close to his family- Only his cousin Endymion. My uncle Gavriel and cousin Aedion are the only family I have left, well by blood. There are uncles and all that, but they weren’t in my life until I was already an adult.”

Aelin spoke so frankly…

“I’m sorry, Aelin.”

“I- Thank you, Feyre… Holidays aren’t the easiest but in the end, we choose our family and I’m really lucky to have been able to find them.”

“In that I completely understand.”

Aelin pulls into the parking lot of the pet store.

“Where are your parents?” she asks me and I shove my hands in my pockets, the action making me think of Rhys. Of countless times I snuck out of my house to knock on their door.  

“Suburbs… But I don’t speak to them. Neither does Elain- Our older sister, Nesta, she still talks to our mother.”

“I haven’t met Nesta yet.”

I sigh. “You probably won’t.”

Aelin raises a brow as we step into the store.

“Nesta and Cassian dated when he started college. She treated him like shit and she has the nerve to be upset that I’m with him now.”

Aelin whistles.

“Well. My friend Yrene is married to my first boyfriend, Chaol. They’re having a baby. My best friend Dorian was my… something at one point and he’s with Manon, another friend of mine.”

“Cassian and Rhys aren’t brothers by blood… But I kind of dated Rhys, too.”

“You know… that doesn’t surprise me.”

“No?”

“You remind me of Dorian and I. Because of your history, your connection to one another is deeper than anyone else- and it’s obvious.”

“It was fake at first,” I say and Aelin gapes at me. I roll my eyes and walk right to the dog aisles. “His girlfriend dumped him for some college guy so I kissed him in the parking lot to piss her off and then… That was that.”

Aelin cackles and throws an arm around me.

“That is the best thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“And Lucien… Well, people used to think we three were a thing.”

“Were you?”

“No… Not physically anyway.”

“Ah. Gotcha.”

I grab an elf’s hat and an antler head band.

“Let’s see what Cas thinks.”

“I like this, too,” Aelin adds, taking what looks like an ugly knitted sweater. It’s adorable.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and send Cassian a text. Elf or Reindeer? Though there’s ugly sweaters I like.

Dressing up for me, bunny?

I roll my eyes. No, dumb ass. Valo’s Christmas picture.

Cassian sends eye roll and thumbs down emojis before giving me a real answer.

Reindeer… But ugly sweater. Get both?

Alright, my love. Thank you. See you soon.

*

Elain is standing outside of my house, leaning against her SUV.

“I was just about to call you,” she says as Aelin and I get out of her car.

“Cas is probably in the shower or something,” I say as I fish for the keys in my pocket.

“No. He left with Az.”

“What?”

“Did you forget what day it is?” Elain is smirking. She hugs Aelin and I before helping bring my bags inside. I don’t hear Val.

“Oh fuck,” I say, which makes Aelin laugh.

“What’s today?”

“Their fucking football game. I completely forgot!”

“And you have to be there,” Elain says. “It’s tradition.”

“Is this where all the boyfriends and girlfriends cheer their men on?” Aelin teases.

I look at Elain who’s smile goes wicked.

“El.”

“Yes, Feyre. Even Lucien is doing it, and he’s playing, too.”

“Okay, I want to know what ‘it’ is,” Aelin says and crosses her arms.

“Let’s hide these in my art room,” I mutter and they follow after me. “Elain, Lucien and Adela have matching jerseys with their respective partner’s name- which is fucking adorable. But then there’s the fucking face paint and the pom poms-”

“Oh, my fucking god. Rowan has a game today- Please tell me Rowan is playing against Cassian.”

“He is, actually,” Elain says.

“I wear my high school cheer outfit every year,” Aelin happily adds. “Sometimes, I prefer it when Rowan’s team loses. The sex is amazing when he’s cranky.”

Elain laughs.

“Same with Az.”

“Wait, I don’t have one. A jersey, I mean.”

“That, baby sister, is where you are wrong.” Elain reaches into her enormous bag and hands me a folded jersey. “Had it made after you told me you were official.”

It’s black and white, with red letters. There are the numbers ‘07’ on the front and Cassian’s name on the back. It is so ridiculous and yet…

*

Aelin is waiting for Elain and I in the parking lot of the park. She has her hair in pig tails and she’s wearing a green and white cheer outfit with long sleeves. She even has pom poms.

“Elide is here already,” she says as she slips her phone into the pocket of her skirt and then she looks at me. “Damn, Feyre, I didn’t know you were hiding all that under those clothes.”

I sigh. I kept my hair down and tied the jersey at my waist, right where my long-sleeved white crop top stops. I paired them with waisted red leggings and the black, red and white sneakers I’ve had forever.

“Cassian isn’t going to be able to focus with all that ass.”

Elain snorts.

“And don’t act like I don’t see you, Elain,” Aelin says playfully. My sister blushes.

Aelin introduces me to her friends, all of them so beautiful I’m left dumbstruck. I introduce them to my sister as well as Adela and Elyse who immediately offered them sandwiches and coquito. There is music playing loudly and Iliana is dancing around her father who is absentmindedly spinning her around as he talks strategy with Lucien. Valo is rolling around in the ground with Aelin’s dog, Fleetfoot- a dog she and Dorian adopted together long before she and Rowan became a thing.

Amren is here as well, to my surprise but I see Varian chatting with Fenris and his twin brother, Connall- he made the boys’ team even. I see Cassian standing next to the tallest man I’d ever seen- brutally handsome with long black hair, tied up in a messy bun just like Cassian has his.

And then he sees me.

Aelin slaps my ass and winks before I walk over towards him. I hear her calling for Rowan in a sing song voice behind me.

“Hello, handsome,” I say as Cassian pulls me in for a kiss.

“I was going to ask you what you got me for Christmas,” he whispers into my ear as his hands wander down to grip my ass. “But it looks like Christmas came early.”

“Stop it!” I laugh and he kisses me again.

He seems to remember that his friend is standing there still. He isn’t smiling, but his eyes are alight with amusement.

“Bunny, this is Lorcan. He works with Rowan. Lor, this is my girlfriend, Feyre.”

I give him a wave.

“Hi.”

“So you’re the girl in the picture,” he says and I look at Cassian expectantly. He laughs and rubs the back of his neck.

“What picture?”

“It’s nothing,” he says and punches Lorcan’s arm. “Let me introduce you to the guys.”

Lorcan smirks but when I hear Elide call his name, he smiles. A real smile. Cassian takes my hand and guides me away.

“What was that all about?”

“He’s an ass.”

“Clearly. But really, what picture?”

Cassian sighs. “I’ll show you later.”

I raise a brow and Cassian kisses me.

“Please?”

“Alright, Rodriguez. I won’t forget.”

“I’m counting on it.”

Fenrys is one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever met in my life. Like Rhys, and Dorian. He is just as flirtatious as Aelin and Cassian are but his twin brother is way more reserved and I am not surprised to see Connall navigate towards Azriel. Aelin’s cousin could pass as her twin brother but he also reminds me of Cassian in a way.

“Evangeline is amazing. I love having her in class,” I say to Lysandra and Aedion who are looking at her fondly. Evangeline is blushing. “I can’t wait to see what you come up with for the art show.”

Rhys and Lucien finally show up, with Helion and Aurelie in tow.

“Sorry we’re late,” Rhys says.

“You went black Friday shopping, didn’t you?” Cas asks and Rhys just shrugs.

“He and Mor were gone all morning,” Lucien replies and Rhys looks at him as though he’s been betrayed. “Hungover my ass.”

“Well, I’m here now!”

Lucien rolls his eyes and ties up his hair.

“I will ask one of Rowan’s friends to switch with me so I can kick your ass,” Lucien snaps at Rhys.

“Do it then.”

“Hey, I know you two like to argue as foreplay but this is Feyre’s first game as Cassian’s girlfriend,” Azriel says in a rather saccharine tone. It’s almost condescending. “Let them have their moment.”

I can’t help but laugh as Rhys and Lucien practically pry me away from Cassian to apologize and hug and kiss me profusely. I can hear Adela scolding Azriel but the tone in her voice is jovial.

Vinny calls for them to separate into teams. Lucien does in fact switch places with Fenrys, who is all too happy to be on ‘the team that Feyre is cheering for’.

I take my seat beside my sister and Adela as everyone takes their place on the muddy field. Vinny is acting as goal keeper. I had always cheered the boys on, though Elain and Adela are always the most vocal. Nothing has changed in the way Cassian smiles when our eyes meet, or the way I jump to my feet to cheer him on as he makes a goal. I just can’t believe I’d never noticed it before. I have been to nearly every one of Cassian’s footballs games, even when he was dating Nesta. I’ve seen him lose some, seen him win but it never gets old.

Aelin is betting Elide that Cassian is going to hand Lorcan his ass while Manon shouts at Rowan’s team- she should have been a coach. They don’t get into a fight, but it is obvious they are not used to actually having to worry about the opposing team. It’s amusing, but I know that someone is going to be bruised and aching later.

When the game is over, I am not surprised that Cassian’s team won but I am caught off guard as Cassian makes his way to me and lifts me off my feet. He kisses me, ignoring Elyse’s sounds of disgust. When we stop to breathe, I smooth his hair away from his face.

“Your football games would have been so much more fun if this was how they ended,” I say teasingly. Cassian laughs. “That was a good game, Cas.”

“I am beat,” he says as he sets me down.

“You guys were showing off.”

“Of course,” he says as he throws an arm around my shoulder. “I have to impress my girlfriend.”

I poke his side. “You don’t have to impress me. Win or lose, I am always proud of you.”

Cas looks at me and smiles.

“Hey, Cas!” Lorcan shouts as Elide hands him a small ice pack. “Rematch next weekend?”

“You’re on Salvaterre!”

Elide and I share the same look of exasperation.

*

“So, bunny, I made a stop or two before Az and I went to the park.”

“Did you?”

I follow him into the garage. He turns the light on and there are several bags and a large box…

“You got a Christmas tree?”

I walk right over to it and turn it to see the picture. It’s pre-lit, which is smart and has little red berries in it.

“If you don’t like the ornaments, I’ll go change them for something else.”

I give him a look before I look through the bags.

“Red and gold is perfect, Cas.”

“You sure?”

I nod. “Can we put it up tonight?”

He smiles. “I was hoping to.”

“Perfect.”

“I want to shower first though…”

I wave him off. “I’ll go preheat the oven for cookies and put a movie on.”

*

I pull a pair of stockings out of a bag and laugh.

“Cas, you didn’t!” They are red knit stockings with our monograms on them in white, there is even one for Val. “I love them so much.”

“Where should we hang them up?”

I look around the living room and my eyes fall on the little accent table he has against the wall where he’s setting up the tree. He keeps the remotes and controllers to his game consoles in there among other things. He has a few picture frames on it but nothing more.

“If you’re not opposed to putting holes in the wall… Maybe we can put a little shelf up there? I can put lights and our Yule log up there and then hang the stockings from it.”

Cassian looks at where I point to and gives a nod.

“Yeah… I think that would be nice. Let me get the tree up and then I’ll go see what I have in the garage.”

Once the tree is up and plugged in, Cassian disappears into the garage. I start putting up the ornaments- red and gold traditional ornaments, glittery birds and butterflies, snowflakes and icicles. I hear hammering and then the loud clang of the hammer falling before the drill goes off. Val and I look towards the garage curiously.

Cassian comes back with a shelf and the drill, as well as the leveler ruler.

“Tell me where,” he says and I set the box of ornaments down to mark the right spot on the wall. Val barks as Cassian drills the nails into the wall but stops when Cas looks back at him. Once the shelf is up, I hand Cassian the Yule log to set in the middle, then the candles decorated with holly and pine before he carefully arranges the white Christmas lights around them. He hides the switch behind one of the candles.

Cassian is grinning after I finish putting up the stockings and I find myself blushing.

“What?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know… It’s nice. Getting to do this with you.”

I slide my arm around his waist.

“It is, isn’t it?” I lean into him. “I’ve never done this with anyone.”

“Neither have I.” He presses a kiss to the top of my hair. “Outside of family, anyway.”

I laugh. “How did you even manage to find a shelf so quickly?”

“Oh… Well, it had been meant for the guest room but I never got around to it so it had been sitting in the garage since I got the house.”

“I’m glad I was able to give it purpose.”

“Yeah… you do have a tendency of doing that.”

I poke his side. “Stop it.”

“Seriously… Anyway, let’s go finish the tree. Rudolph is starting soon and I want to be laying down by then.”

“We have that movie on DVD, Cassian.”

“But you know it isn’t the same.”

I sigh and roll my eyes. But I know he’s right.

*

I come back from the kitchen with a plate of cookies and a mug full of milk. Cassian is sitting on the sofa with his sketchbook on his lap while he flips through the channels.

“Here,” I say and hand him the plate before I pull down the little arm rest of the sofa to set the mug in a cupholder. It’s a perfect excuse to take his sketchbook and sit on his lap. I reach for the blanket and drape it over our legs as he slides an arm around me, holding me against him.

“So, I had free time at work the other day and was just… drawing bullshit. Warming up. Az wants to add to his sleeve but he hasn’t decided how. Anyway, I was sketching some shit out and I got this idea.”

Cassian sets the remote aside and opens his sketchbook. I’m mesmerized by all that I see as he flips through it and then he stops.

“It wasn’t supposed to be you, but when I started drawing her face… I couldn’t help it.”

“This is beautiful, Cassian.”

She’s a faerie of some kind, with wings like a bat rather than butterflies and a crown of moons on her head. Her dress isn’t complete, but I can tell it will be a gown of some sort.

“Lorcan saw it when he and Rowan stopped by to go over our plans for today.”

“I hope you finish it.”

“Yeah?” He kisses my cheek.

“I’ll let you tattoo it on me somewhere.”

“Bunny, don’t tease me like that. You know Rhys has been trying to be the one to give you your first tattoo.”

“He can give me my second one.”

“You serious?”

“I mean… why not? I would wait until Christmas break though-”

Cassian kisses me.

“I’ll make you something better than this. I promise,” he kisses me again. “But first, our movie marathon.”

I laugh. “I love you so much, Cassian.”

“I love you too, bunny.”

[caffeineivore]

Commission #2

For @nelwynp. Based off a very very old ficverse from wayyyyyyy back in the day called “Freckles” which may or may not be found on LJ. Makoto/Nephrite.

Commissions are still open!! Check out the details here or all the other commissions currently available here!

Long distance relationships are statistically known to suck, and honestly, I wouldn’t have considered myself the rose-coloured glasses type. The real world doesn’t care that you’ve probably, maybe, already gotten your share of crap thrown at you, starting from the death of your parents, and think maybe it should cut you a break. I knew the chances of Nick and myself making it were slim. He would be busy, surrounded by strangers a whole two states away. Sure, we’d known each other since we were kids, and maybe by now, he had become the one constant in my life-- my North Star, perhaps-- that forever friend who’d seen me at my worst and didn’t care in the least. And maybe--- maybe, finally, I’d finally told him those three words that had been nagging at the back of my subconscious for the last year of our acquaintance. He’d said them back, and it was only then that I realized how much I’d needed to hear and say them.

Still, I saw him off on that cloudy morning with dry eyes and homemade eggs Benedict-- that is to say, that I fed him and double-checked to make sure that he had not misplaced anything important. The apartment that he’d been living in was stripped bare, and all of his worldly goods were in the trailer of the U-haul which would take him to his new home. I was plugging his phone into the car charger in the front console when his arms wrapped around me from behind, and turned me to face him. 

Nick has always been a good-looking guy, in that sort of rugged, All-American way, with broad shoulders and a great smile, and I’d learned at some point in our long acquaintance that he gave the best hugs-- the type that lifts you slightly off your feet and makes you feel like some type of dainty damsel even when you’re six feet tall in heeled boots. It’s no different now, and maybe I hung on for a moment too long, myself. He’s not much of a cologne guy, but his sweatshirt smells like laundry soap and I’m pretty sure he’d used my shampoo that morning again, because his hair’s super soft-- and the flowery scent is not nearly as girly on him as it is on me. 

“Call me when you get there.” I hope to Hell, of course, that the fact that my voice is muffled against his neck disguises the unsteadiness.

“I’ll call you every day.”

I wouldn’t hold him to it, of course, but I didn’t say anything to that effect, and I watched as he drove off, and then headed off to the gym for a punishing three-mile run on the treadmill followed by a full hour of kickboxing to a playlist of angry girl rock, and if I cried in the shower afterwards, no one needed to know that.

He did call that night, though. And the night after. And the night after that. And soon, it had become a routine, and maybe I should have given him more credit the whole time. Before I knew it, two months had passed, and he flew down for a long holiday weekend, and after we’d christened three separate rooms in my apartment, we got caught up in person. I’d heard so much about his new place and the people he’d met at his new school that I probably could’ve picked his favourite and least favourite professors out of a crowd. 

This became a thing, and so for two years, we did the long distance thing. He heard about the awful day when the stand mixer went rogue and how I was still picking bits of cake batter out of my hair two hours later. I heard so much about one particularly persnickety city inspector on a project he worked on that I learned to hate the guy as much as Nick did. Our reunions were sporadic, rapturous and never long enough, though half the time we eschewed actual dates in favour of staying in and just being ourselves together-- watching movies, working out, buying groceries and cooking meals, falling asleep so close together that it was hard to tell where one of us ended and the other one began. 

We spent that first Thanksgiving at my place-- Friendsgiving, really, cooking a huge meal in a too-small kitchen, inviting all of our old friends. I shooed Nick and James out of my kitchen and chatted with Raye as she snapped a bowl of green beans for me and sounds of the football game filtered in through the living room. She was a ball of nerves-- James would be meeting her very formidable, very rich, very conservative father when he went over to her home for Christmas. Said father would not be amused to find his only daughter not only dating, but actually fully living in sin with a mouthy city boy-- when Nick had moved out, James and Raye had gotten an apartment together. Amy and Zach had arrived a bit later, because he’d had to pick her up from the hospital where her shift had run over. Kevin and Mina, on the other hand, were at her parents’ house out of state. She’d texted me all types of sad face emojis about how the cranberry sauce had come out of a can and the mashed potatoes had come out of a box, but I had no sympathy. She had parents who cooked for her for Thanksgiving, didn’t she? Besides, if she really cared about food over time spent with them and Kevin, she would have told them that she had Ebola and came over to my place instead.

At any rate, against all the odds, we somehow managed to make it work, and two years, three months and six days after that first time that I told him I loved him, he was on his way down to visit again. I’d gone up to see him get his Master’s degree two months ago and he’d taken me out around the town to celebrate with his friends and classmates. Some of them had met me before, but to those who hadn’t, he introduced me as his girlfriend, and from the easy acceptance, I knew that everyone present had some idea of our history. It had been a wonderful weekend, but I was a bit nervous about seeing him again today. Something had come up, very recently, and I wasn’t sure how he would take it.

At first, I had thought nothing of the symptoms. Fatigue and a bit of nausea doesn’t tend to alarm anyone right off the get-go. Everyone knows restaurant hours are brutal, and as an apprentice chef, any task, no matter how mundane or unpleasant, might get assigned to me on any given day. Certainly, I might get to spend one day arranging delicate edible flowers and a compote of ripe berries around and on top of fancy panna cottas, but the very next, I might be doing nothing but washing dishes and running out garbage. The kitchen I work in specializes in a rotating seasonal menu, and at the time, calamari was in season. Certainly it is delicious deep-fried with casino butter and lemon wedges, sprinkled with sea salt and cracked black pepper, but it’s definitely not as appealing raw, slimy and fishy-smelling. It’s enough to make anyone lose their appetite doing prep early in the morning. But then I was late. And not to work, if you know what I mean. One week stretched into two, then three. The nausea didn’t go away, even when my day consisted of making large quantities of bourbon vanilla buttercream frosting for strawberry white chocolate cakes. It was a week ago that I picked up two different pregnancy tests from Walgreen’s. Both results had come back to tell me what I kind of already knew, deep down, and I was honestly terrified down to the bone.

I had always wanted to have that maybe-stereotypical home and family someday-- the cute house with gingerbread trim and the white picket fence and the garden full of old-fashioned flowers, a husband who loved me and our children and went to baseball games and dance recitals with equal enthusiasm. I wanted to be able to be the mom who baked cupcakes for the bake sale and cookies for the big jar on the kitchen counter, and volunteered to chaperone field trips to the science museum. That had been my own mother, from those distant reaches of old memories, and though I’d lost her, I knew that it was in me to keep her legacy alive. 

But I had not intended to do so when I had just started my career, unmarried and still living in a tiny college-campus apartment, with a boyfriend who lives two states away, who might not even want kids. God! That was a discussion we’d never even had. 

The door swings open, though, before I could think about it any more. Nick has a key to my place, of course, as I do to his. Sometimes he calls, but sometimes he just arrives, like today, a little ahead of schedule. I’m caught up in one of those long, tight hugs, a warm and familiar hand cupping the back of my neck, and maybe he feels a hint of desperation in my kiss. When he pulls back, his eyes are warm, but full of concern. “Everything okay, Freckles?”

“Ugh. Can you not call me that? We’ve talked about that.” Oh, Gods... A baby with his brown hair and my green eyes. His dimples and my freckles. I can almost picture a little girl, toddling on chubby legs, riding on his shoulders, picking dandelions in the yard and blowing the fluff away in the wind. I’d teach her to bake chocolate chip cookies and read her stories where the princess saved herself and buy her pretty dresses for picture day and sturdy jeans for playing outside in. I loved her already, but she wasn’t supposed to even exist. 

“Habit. And you scrunch your nose up when you’re mad, and I shouldn’t like it, but I do.” Nick presses another, shorter kiss to my mouth, then tips up my face. “But you seem a bit out of sorts. What’s wrong?”

“How could you tell if I’m out of sorts or not when you literally just walked in two minutes ago?” It’s an evasion, and I’m sure he can and will spot the bullshit and call me out on it. 

“Because I’ve known you since we were kids, and you don’t have to say or do anything for me to know when you’re out of sorts.” Nick pulls me gently over to the love seat, and sits me down, keeping one of my hands in his as though he expects me to bolt at any moment. “Everything’s okay, right? You didn’t have anything particularly horrible at work this week that I recall from our conversations.”

No, this week hadn’t been bad. Breaking down chickens is fairly mindless work once you get the hang of it. And the resulting bone broth is wonderful for someone who finds it difficult to keep food down some days. Nick deserves the truth, of course, and maybe the ripping-off-the-bandaid approach is best. I shut my eyes to his all-too-perceptive, all-too-loving gaze, and set my teeth.

“I’m pregnant.”

His hand tightens on mine and his next inhaled breath is sharp, but I plow on. “I know it’s not expected, and I know we were careful, but… it is what it is. You don’t have to worry, though. I’m not some delicate little miss who’s afraid of raising a child. The executive chef at work loves me, as he should, and I’m sure they’ll work with me when the time comes for maternity leave. And in this day and age, it’s not a big deal to be a single mom. I’m keeping this baby and she’s going to get the best life that I can give her, growing up.” I don’t know why I was so certain I was having a little girl. But she already existed, to me, and at that moment in time, she was probably only the size of my pinkie nail. “She will never doubt, for a moment, that she’s loved.”

“Of course not.” Nick finally speaks, and his voice is an awed, slightly choked-up whisper. I sense him moving, then one big, warm hand rests on my still-flat stomach, followed by the press of his lips. “We’re having a baby. Wow. Okay, so I guess I should get on with what I’d already planned to do, even though I’d planned for this to be a lot more romantic.” Belatedly, I realize that not only has he moved, but he is down on his knees in front of me, one hand on my stomach, the other one digging into a pocket, and then he pulls out a small black velvet box, flicks open the catch.

I’m not much of a jewelry type of girl-- I wear the same earrings, every single day, but working in a kitchen greatly limits the practicality of going around with bracelets and rings and do-dabs. Still, stereotypical though it might be, I’d always wanted that classic diamond solitaire engagement ring from my husband-to-be, and now, when it’s staring me in the face-- princess-cut and set in platinum, I find myself speechless. 

“Lita Oakley, love of my life, will you marry me?”

Of course he doesn’t mince words. In a lot of ways, I guess we’re past that point. But I draw my hand back a moment before he can slide that ring on. 

“I don’t want you to propose to me because I’m pregnant and you feel obligated. You’d end up regretting it, and that would kill me.” We didn’t live together now, but if we did someday, and then it all went south, and I had to walk into an empty house bereft of his presence and his things and even the way he’d always kick his shoes off any which way by the door rather than make sure they’re put up where no one can trip over them, I knew it would break me in a way that hadn’t been possible since my parents’ deaths.

Nick rolls his eyes, though, and huffs out a breath before digging deeper into that little velvet box, all the way underneath the white satin. He takes out a crinkled paper receipt, and unfolds it, and drops it on my lap. “You are so stubborn. Do you know that? Take a look at that receipt, will you? Just… humour me.”

I do. It’s from some jeweler in his state, and the price of the ring of course makes me wince a little. It’s definitely not cheap. But then I read it a little closer, and see the time stamp on the top. It was purchased at 4:26 PM on the sixth of December, two whole years ago. Perhaps six months after he’d moved away.

“I got it as soon as I could afford it, and I’d been saving up for a while. Probably not very well-thought-out of me, when everything was so up in the air. But I’d always known that we’d be here together, someday, and I’d be asking you to marry me. Anyway, it’s got nothing to do with the fact that you’re pregnant and everything to do with the fact that I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, and there’s no one else in the world for me, and it’s too late to return this ring, anyway.” He pulls it out of the box, and I see something shining, trailing from it. “I know you can’t really wear rings, working in a kitchen. So I also got a necklace that you can wear this on, if you’ll just say yes. Please say yes.”

“How are we going to do this?” I blurt out, as that other infamous symptom of pregnancy-- emotional hormonal tears-- makes its appearance. I blink and try to sniffle them away, but Nick simply puts the ring on my finger, silvery necklace dangling from it, and gets up to his feet, pulls me gently to mine. “You live so freaking far away.”

“Not anymore I don’t.” He tugs me close, and kisses me again. “My lease is up in a month. I figure I can get another U-haul, and con the guys into helping out. I’m pretty sure that the people can put a good word in for me to get hired in somewhere local-- dumb jock notwithstanding, I worked my ass off these last few years and have the credentials and grades to prove it. Since my lease is up in a month anyway, might as well look for a new place to live. Some place that can be baby-proofed, and definitely not a top floor apartment with a janky elevator like here. Can’t have my pregnant fiancee struggling up five flights of stairs every day.”

He makes it seem so simple, really, as he pulls me in for what promised to be an extended cuddle session. 

But maybe-- maybe it would be. 

[wp-yahoo-style-1042-yahoopa-blog]

Here's why Mandy Moore is particularly obsessed with her mother-in-law this holiday season

Mandy Moore promoting Friendsgiving with the American Express Blue Cash Everyday Card on November 9, 2017, at the Eveleigh in Los Angeles. (Photo: ParkerPhoenix PR)

For the past few years, Mandy Moore has done away with the concept of a traditional Thanksgiving and has adopted more of a Friendsgiving approach to the holiday. “We’ve sort of bucked the tradition,” she tells Yahoo Lifestyle during an American Express Friendsgiving lunch at The Eveleigh in West Hollywood on Thursday afternoon.

“Family is there but it’s a lot of friends as well,” she says. “It’s a potluck and it’s casual and we all sort of sit around. It ebbs and flows. People come at the beginning of the celebration for a drink and leave and go have dinner somewhere else and come back and have pie again. It’s so much fun.”

While she’s got the being a guest thing down, the recently engaged star is taking a big chance with this year’s festivities. She’s not only co-hosting for the first time but is doing it at the home of her future in-laws. “My mother-in-law is going to be doing the brunt of the work,” she reveals. But the real plan, according to Moore, is to shadow her fiancé’s mom in the kitchen so that she can take over next Thanksgiving. “I feel like this is the possible entrée in hosting duties,” says Moore. “I told her, ‘next year you don’t have to worry about anything.’ I’ll give her a little leeway, a little time to digest that.”

The This is Us actress is very much looking forward to cooking alongside Mrs. Goldsmith. “She’s the best and I love her so much,” she tells us. As for the big day, Moore will likely be making her favorites. “I like to do some sort of Brussels sprout situation,” she reveals. “Last year I did a raw Brussels sprout salad that was pretty popular.” And since she’s gluten intolerant, the actress makes it a point to contribute to the dessert table. “I have this Paleo pumpkin pie that I’ve made the last couple of years that’s by one of my favorite food bloggers. It’s made with almond flour as a substitute and it’s excellent,” she says.

One friend who has yet to make the annual bash is Moore’s good pal Minka Kelly. And that’s okay with the 33-year-old, as she isn’t quite ready to battle it out in the kitchen. “I would definitely leave any and all cooking to her if she came,” Moore reveals, noting that she has often been a taste tester for her culinary school graduate friend and would sign on for that role again and again. “She’s an actual chef. She knows what she’s doing in the kitchen. I can follow a recipe but she has taken it to a whole other level.”

Moore and Goldsmith have yet to move into their new home but Moore admits that the original plan was to have Friendsgiving in their new kitchen. “I was so excited this year. I was full-on ready to do the turkey and take on all of the responsibility and now we are just barely missing getting into the house for the holidays,” she says. For now, however, the couple is enjoying the simplicity of eating out “a lot.”

Mandy Moore promoting Friendsgiving with the American Express Blue Cash Everyday Card on November 9, 2017 at the Eveleigh in Los Angeles. (Photo: ParkerPhoenix PR

But she’s happy to be stepping up her duties for this year’s soirée and plans to dress to impress for the upcoming occasion. “I feel like there is a less formal component to it but I think you want to still feel polished but elevated and comfortable,” she says, of her Friendsgiving style. “I think it’s a step up from my everyday attire of jeans and a T-shirt and a heel. I want to feel comfortable and relaxed and if I have to get my hands dirty, I can do that, but I still want to feel put together.” Her go-to look for the holiday is an easygoing long sleeve fall inspired dress. “That was my go-to the last couple of years,” says Moore. “And cute flats. So I can run around,” she says, noting that the home will be filled with dogs and babies and other adorable obstacles. “We’ll have our hands full!”

Read more from Yahoo Lifestyle

Mandy Moore teases secret wedding: ‘Hopefully it will happen, and then you guys will find out about it’

Mandy Moore Opens Up About Her New Engagement, ‘This Is Us’ Success, and Why She’s Happier than Ever

How to Handle Talking About Politics When You’re Home for the Holidays

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[hellas-himself]

Crack Ship Holidays

Friendsgiving Pt. 2 

Since it’s Rhysand’s birthday this week, y'all are getting two updates. ;)

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With my furniture gone, we eat pizza on the living room floor. Cassian pulls me onto his lap while I hold our plate. Aelin is lying on the floor with her head on Rowan’s lap and he’s purposely not feeding her pizza as she asked. Rhys and Lucien are sitting back against the wall and Rhys has his arm around Lucien’s shoulder. Mor might have shut off the flash but I can tell that she’s taking pictures of us all from where she sits on the kitchen counter, next to the box of white pizza Cassian ordered specifically for her. 

When the door unlocks, Az steps inside but Iliana rushes past her father and makes her way towards Cassian and I.

“So it’s true?! You’re gonna have a baby now!” she blurts out and Rowan nearly chokes on his food while Aelin howls.

“Hello to you, too,” I say as I set our plate down and hug her tight. She starts to laugh, especially when Cassian starts tickling her. Her laugh reminds me so much of Elain but that mischievous glint in her eyes is all Azriel.

“Daddy says you finally stopped being a…” She mouths a word that has Cassian glaring daggers at Az who raises his hands innocently.

“I said nothing.”

Iliana presses a kiss to Cassian’s cheek.

“It’s okay, tio. Mommy told him not to talk like that in front of me even if she agreed.”

My sister is blushing which makes Cassian laugh.

“It’s okay. They were both right,” he says as she sits next to him. “So thank you, Lia.”

“Me? What did I do?”

I lean in real close and whisper, “For helping your tio stop being a complete pendejo.”

I give her a wink, and our niece starts cackling. Cassian is feigning offense when I sit upright.

“I love you,” I say and he pinches my side, making me laugh.

“I hope it’s a boy,” Lia says haughtily. “I want to be the only girl.”

*

Cassian insists on carrying my box full of rolls of canvas, stretched canvas and brushes.

“Just get the door,” he says with a wink and I roll my eyes. I can hear Az and Iliana playing with Valo in the backyard. Everyone got here before we did; I handed in my keys to the landlord and Cassian broke the lease. I was still internally cringing from how much money he just spent. And yet, he has been grinning from ear to ear ever since.

Rowan and Aelin are setting up my bookshelf in the living room while Rhysand and Mor busy themselves with my closet. Lucien is in the kitchen putting away what little I had as I gave away everything I didn’t need.

“Shouldn’t we bring that to the garage?” I ask as he continues on towards the bedrooms.

“I don’t want you painting around weights and shit,” he replies as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “So I thought of something.”

“What?” I ask but he says nothing and stops in front of one of the guestrooms.

“Get that for me, will you?”

I roll my eyes and open the door. I have to remember how to breathe.

“Cas��”

The bed, the dresser, all of it was gone and replaced with a desk. An easel. With the curtains pulled aside, the light in the room was perfect.

“I have to set up the shelves in the closet but-”

I grab him by the collar of his shirt and kiss him. He smiles when I step back. I’m blushing.

“I can’t believe you.”

He grins and bring the box to the closet.

“I want you to have your own space,” he says and sets it down on the floor before turning to face me. “I have mine. Now you have yours.”

“Get over here,” I say and he smiles, closing the space between us.

*

I wake up at the sound of Cassian’s alarm going off. This isn’t the first time, but I still find myself smiling. Cassian is holding me against him and he hasn’t woken up yet. Carefully, I turn until I’m facing him and press a kiss to his cheek. His jaw. His neck and across his collar bone. I see him smile.

“Good morning,” I whisper.

“Good morning, bunny,” he whispers back and rolls onto his back, taking me with him. He reaches over and grabs his phone, tapping on the screen until the alarm stops. He opens his eyes and squints at the screen.

“What?”

“Mor.”

He shows me his phone. Morrigan_not_la_fey tagged you and bunny_darling in a post. I unlock his phone and open the post. I snort. The caption reads, ‘FUCKING FINALLY’. There are several pictures; the first is of Cassian and I last night on the sofa with Val sprawled across our laps, followed by one of us eating pizza with everyone else on the living room floor. Then one with Cas and I kissing in the bedroom with Rowan in the background disassembling the bookshelf and then Halloween night where he had lifted me up and she’d interrupted us.

“I love this,” I say with a laugh and set the phone down.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Was it really that obvious to everyone?” he asks and rubs the sleep from his eyes.

“To everyone but us, I guess.”

He smirks and grabs his phone. I am content to watch him no doubt replying to Mor but then I hear my phone go off. I raise a brow and begrudgingly slide off of Cassian to get to my phone. I laugh when I see Cassian’s request to update my relationship status.

“You’re silly,” I say and accept it. “Oh! Can I match our profile pictures?”

“To what?” he asks and shifts to lay beside me, putting an arm over my back. He slides his phone in front of me.

“This one. The one Mor took of us outside.”

“Okay,” he says with a yawn.

Both of our phones start going off as our friends and family begin commenting on the posts.

“Why don’t you sleep a little more? I’ll make coffee and wake you up when it’s done,” I say as I pry myself out of his hold. His response is incoherent.

Cassian had fallen asleep last night waiting for me to finish unpacking. But it was worth staying up so late. Everything was in its place; it didn’t look like I’d just moved in. The art room was a mess but it didn’t bother me. I had the entire day for that.

After I wash up and put up my hair, I put on Cassian’s shirt and basketball shorts and walk to the kitchen. I let Val out while I get the coffee going and I let myself look at my phone. Endless congratulations and like after like. Rhys and Mor reminding Lucien and Az that they won some bet they’d made months ago about when and how Cassian would ‘finally’ ask me to be his girlfriend. I felt ridiculous smiling while I read the messages and I was blushing while I looked at that picture of us. It was perfect.

Cassian of course, comes to the kitchen already showered and ready to go. I set his coffee down on the counter and pile pancakes on his plate. He looks surprised.

“I ate one,” I say. “You’re not going to die.”

He laughs and takes a seat.

“It’s been a while since anyone made me anything… Well, someone that wasn’t Rhys or Az.”

“Maybe I’ll start practicing and I’ll cook for you every day.”

“And deny myself the pleasure of how you react to my cooking?”

I laugh. “So, maybe not every day.”

Cassian holds out his arm, motioning for me to come closer. When I do, he holds me against him. I wrap my arms around his neck and lean into him.

“I don’t know how I waited this long,” he says softly. “This is… I’m just happy that you’re home with me.”

“I am, too.” I kiss his cheek. “I love you, Cassian.”

“I love you, bunny.”

*

For the zillionth time this evening, my phone blacks out while I read the stupid recipe I have been following for dinner. Cassian is working late today and I wanted to surprise him. For more reasons than this.

“Do you think daddy will like burnt chicken for dinner?” I ask Valo and sigh. The dog looks at me sideways and I laugh. “I’m kidding. This is going to be fine.”

After making the yogurt sauce and chopping up the onions and other things I’ll need as a topping, I get the marinated chicken onto the iron skillet. It smells like heaven. I preheat the oven and make to wash a few dishes when I hear my phone go off. Twice.

The first message is from Cassian- actually, it’s Az using Cassian’s phone to tell me Cas is almost finished. I reply with a quick thank you. The other is from Nesta. I regret opening it.

Halloween was nearly two weeks ago. When were you going to tell me about Cassian? During Christmas dinner?

I roll my eyes. I haven’t spent Christmas with our parents in years. Had zero intention of doing so this year. And no. I wasn’t planning on telling you anything for this very reason.

I set my phone down and wash half of the dishes before I go to flip the chicken on the skillet. I return to the sink and finish the dishes, then quickly clean my hands before setting the pita bread in the oven. I pour Val some food into his bowl and hear my phone go off again.

He was my boyfriend, Feyre. Mom and dad have been bothering me about it ever since Elain posted that picture of the two of you with Iliana. It was a cute picture from their date night last week; he and I were on the sofa with Iliana between us.  We had fallen asleep while she read from her Percy Jackson book to us and Elain had come to pick her up and found us just like that.  

Was. Years ago. Get over it.

How long has this been going on?  

I sigh. That’s honestly none of your business. I’m happy and so is he. That’s all that should matter to you. Tell mom and dad they can call me if it bothers them that much.

They don’t have your number.

Give it to them then. I hear the door unlock. I have dinner on the stove. Love you, Nes. Stop letting them get to you. Elain and I did- and we’re happier for it.

I am tempted to say more but, until Cassian knows- I refuse to tell anyone else. She’d probably find a way to spoil it, anyway.

“Honey, I’m home!” Cas shouts from the door- as he has done every night he comes home from work. I laugh at his attempt to sound like Ricky Ricardo.

“I’m in the kitchen!” I shout back. I hear the closet door opening and close, hear him kick off his boots.

“Did you order out?” he asks, his voice sounds much closer now.  

“Nope.”

I look at him from where I stand by the stove. He’s standing in the entry way.

“What’s this?”

I shrug. “Dinner. For my incredibly handsome and hardworking boyfriend.”

His stupid grin gives me butterflies.

“You cooked dinner?”

“I meant what I said.”

He comes to stand behind me and kisses my cheek before putting one hand on my waist. He tries to grab a piece of chicken from the skillet but I slap his hand away.

“Go wash up. Where do you want to eat?”

“So bossy,” he murmurs and kisses my neck. “You know, I wouldn’t mind that later on-”

I sigh. “Cassian…”

He laughs. “Alright, alright. Let’s sit at the dinner table.”

He slaps my ass before he runs off to change. When he comes back, I’m carrying plates to the dining room. He helps me bring everything to the table and after getting drinks, we sit to eat.

“The first time we had shawarma, was after homecoming, remember?” he asks.

“I think I have that picture somewhere. Rhys and Elain won homecoming king and queen which was hilarious, considering who they were dating at the time.”

“You and Grayson?”

“I didn’t date Rhys,” I say with a scowl.

Cassian laughs. “You were his rebound-”

I slap his arm. “Hey, better it was me than someone who’d break his heart. I don’t even remember her name, only that she had some college boyfriend driving her to school one morning and it pissed me off so much.”

“So much so that you kissed Rhys in the parking lot and lied about being his girlfriend for the rest of the year.”

“Best pretend boyfriend I ever had,” I say wistfully. Cassian rolls his eyes but I can see him trying not to smirk. “But listen, I wanted to tell you something.”

“Hm?”

“So… Briar called me at like… nine this morning. I have an interview at the school tomorrow.”

His eyes light up.

“Really?”

“Yeah… She says she doesn’t doubt I’ll get it.”

Cassian leans over in his seat and gives me a quick kiss.

“That’s amazing, bunny! We have to celebrate or something.”

I laugh as he sits back in his chair.

“We are,” I say and wave at the table. “I haven’t told anyone else. And I won’t, not until after the interview.”

He puts his hand over mine.

“God, I love you so much,” he says. “I’m so happy for you.”

“I love you, too, Cas. I can’t believe this is happening.”

He brings my hand to his lips and presses a kiss to my knuckles.

“What time is the interview?”

“Eight-thirty.”

“I’ll drive you,” he says. “Then we can have celebratory breakfast together.”

“And if they ask me to stay for the day?”

“Then I guess I’ll come back for celebratory lunch.”

“I like the sound of that,” I say and he winks.

“And what about dessert?” he asks and I look at him up and down and grin.

“I think I have an idea of what I want.”

*

With a wave goodbye to Briar, I step out of the school. I take a deep breath and clutch the strap of my bag with both hands in an attempt to stop them from trembling. The security guard gives me a nod and I return it. I’m relieved to see Cassian standing by his truck. He’s on his phone and he’s wearing sunglasses. To my absolute delight, he has his hair down. For a moment, I can remember him as he was in high school; the stupidly popular football player with long hair and the tattoos on his back, who drove a motorcycle and smoked cigarettes in the parking lot. Who, along with Rhys and Az, always looked out for me and my sisters. For Mor.  

“All we’re missing is a pack of cigarettes and I’m fourteen-year-old Feyre, trying to act like it was no big deal that Cassian Rodriguez is waiting for her in the parking lot,” I say when he notices me approach.

“Well, seventeen-year-old Cassian was all too happy to do it,” he says and immediately takes my hands and pulls me close. “Thank you for convincing that idiot to quit. I can’t believe I got away with so much shit.”

He kisses me and I playfully swat his arm.

“You’re a sweet talker,” I quip.

“So. How’d it go?” he asks and I sigh, shaking my hands. I don’t understand why I feel so nervous.

“I start on Monday,” I say softly. My stomach hurts. Cassian simply beams at me. He cups my face with his hands and kisses me.

“I fucking knew it!” He kisses me again. “God, I’m so happy for you, bunny!”

I laugh and hug him tight. After another kiss, Cassian walks me to the passenger’s side and opens the door. He lifts me up by the waist and sets me down. He doesn’t even bother hiding the grin on his face when his hands brush against my thighs as he steps away. I blush and wave him off. That was one story I wouldn’t tell Mor- ever. She’d never let me live it down.

“So what are the hours?” he asks as he gets into the driver’s seat. We talk about my salary and the schedule as he drives us to get breakfast.

“Is it weird that I’m kinda scared?” I ask quietly.

“No… You’ve been out of the game for a while.” A while. Leave it to Cassian to try to soften the edges. It had been years since I’d worked as a teacher. Tamlin had provided for everything until he left and if it weren’t for Cassian, I would have lost everything.

“At least now I’ll have health insurance,” I mutter and instinctively brush my fingers over my inner left arm. I barely feel it with my jacket on until I press on it. Cassian grimaces. “I can finally replace this stupid thing.”

“Stop it,” he whines. I laugh.

“Such a baby,” I say playfully. “If not for this we’d be pushing a stroller around.”

“Fair enough. Stop playing with it though, bunny. That��s gross.”

I stick my tongue out at him and he grins.

We have breakfast together at the café Mor and I had gone just two weeks before. I wait until Cassian is busy stuffing his face with French toast to text the group chat. Guess who’s the new art teacher at Aelin’s school? I hit send and then open the chat between Aelin and I. I GOT THE JOB.

Our phones begin to go off as our family starts to reply. Cassian reaches over to hold my hand and I sigh, meeting his gaze.

“You’ll be amazing,” he says to me. “You are amazing.”

“Thank you,” I say and feel myself blush.

I have a feeling I’m going to be blushing until the day I die because of him. And honestly, I’m completely fine with that.