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ncssian · 4 years ago

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A Favor: Part Nine

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: reading canon eris discourse literally makes me dizzy but in this fic he's pretty chill

***

“Any plans for Thanksgiving?” Emerie asks as they stroll between the shelves of the library.

Nesta runs her finger down the spine of a textbook on corporate law. “Not really,” she murmurs distantly.

She’s been doing her best not to think of the upcoming holidays, in fact. Cassian is going to Velaris for Thanksgiving, and of course Feyre invited Nesta as well, but…

She’s always ignored her sister’s holiday invites, but this year is different. Cassian, a recent constant in her life, will be gone, enjoying himself for the first time in months without her presence. And Nesta will be at the cabin alone, because of course she can’t celebrate Thanksgiving with Feyre’s found family. Being friends with Cassian hasn’t changed that.

“Well,” Emerie is saying, “a bunch of us can’t go home for the holidays for one reason or another, so we’re hosting a small Friendsgiving at my apartment. You’re invited.”

Nesta glances at her, surprised. “Who’s going to be there?”

“The same guys from drinks night: Eris, Justinian, Isaac. Maybe a plus one or two if we’re lucky.” She elbows Nesta. “Maybe a girl for me to take home.”

“I thought the party was at your home already?”

“You know what I mean. Anyway, are you coming?”

Nesta purses her lips. “But you said it was a Friendsgiving. Those guys aren’t my friends.”

Emerie looks at her like she's insane. “Uh, why not?”

“Because,” Nesta states, “we’ve only had one real interaction all semester.”

Emerie scoffs. “You talk to them all the time in class, Nesta.”

“Yes. Out of necessity.”

Emerie raises a high brow. “That’s how you view spending time with us? A ‘necessity’?”

She’s upset, and Nesta doesn’t know what she said wrong. “That’s not what I meant,” she tries to say.

“Then what did you mean?”

“I just…” Nesta shrugs. “I thought it took more to make friends than a single night out.” Those are the rules, right?

Emerie narrows her dark eyes at her. “I’m sorry we’re not up to standard, then. But for your information, those guys liked you. I’m sure they considered you a friend.” She turns to leave, but Nesta is so stunned she can’t even try to stop her. The click of Emerie’s heels resonate long after she’s gone.

“Hey,” Cassian comes up to her later that day. “About Thanksgiving—”

Nesta drops her dinner plate onto the island with a clatter. “What is it with everybody and Thanksgiving?” Her voice is unnecessarily loud.

Cassian blinks. “Well, it’s only a few days away—”

“I know,” she says. “I’m fine staying home alone. We never celebrated Thanksgiving growing up, you know? It’s really not a big deal.”

“Will you let me finish, Nesta?”

Nesta presses her lips together.

Cassian takes a breath. “I think you should— I would really love it if you came to Velaris with me this weekend.”

There’s a silence as he waits for her to answer.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she says after a moment.

Before he can press the subject, she blurts, “I already have plans.”

“You do?” Nesta can’t tell if he sounds disappointed or surprised.

She straightens her back, lying through her teeth, “Yes. Some friends from school are getting together for a Friendsgiving, and I’m going.” She almost bites her tongue on the word friends. She doesn’t even know what that means anymore.

“That’s amazing,” Cassian says, though he still looks a little taken aback. “I’m glad.” He looks down at the marble counter then, trying to smile. “Sucks for me, though.”

Nesta huffs a laugh. “Please, like you won’t be having fun with your friends whether I’m there or not.”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but why go for half the fun when I could go for double?”

“That’s not how math works,” she snipes.

Cassian grabs a fork so he can sit down across from Nesta. “Don’t you ever bring up correct math in this house again.” He points his silverware at her threateningly.

From there, they can devolve into their usual dinner habit of bantering that leads to more serious conversation. Cassian has recently been on a French movie binge, Nesta learns, and even though she despises the French, she listens closely to his analysis of each film and offers her own thoughts back. She even promises to rewatch one or two of his favorites at a later time. The giddiness he gives in return makes her almost wish she had accepted his invitation earlier, if only so she could keep making him happy.

God. What is he doing to her?

Later that night, Nesta pulls out her phone and opens up her messages with Emerie. She doesn’t want to have rejected Cassian just to end up staying home alone all weekend. She types out five different messages and erases them before settling on an apathetic, Is the invite for Thursday still on?

Emerie takes her time to reply, likely to punish Nesta. After some minutes, she finally texts, Yes.

It’s all she can expect from Emerie, and it’s all she needs to see.

Nesta: I’ll be there.

***

“Cassian!” Feyre swings open the door with an overjoyed smile, ready to greet him.

He laughs and steps in for a hug, going so far as to lift her feet off the floor. Because damn him, even with his conflicted feelings towards Feyre lately, he’s missed her. He’s missed all of his friends, even though he’s found something precious while he was away from them.

He’s ushered into the penthouse, which Feyre and Rhys insist on calling an “apartment”, as if that softens the blow of their extravagant wealth. Cassian and everybody else goes along with it, however, because the rich have committed worse crimes. At least that’s what Nesta says.

“Rhys is out getting last minute beer from the gas station,” Feyre says as she takes his overnight bag. “And you’re the first to arrive, which means I have you all to myself.” She whirls on him with a predatory gleam in her eye. “Tell me everything about the last two months with you and Nesta, ASAP.”

Cassian’s heart starts racing at the unexpected interrogation, but he laughs it off and shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re just roommates.”

“Well, I know that.” Feyre rolls her eyes. “But what is it like? How is it going? Is she okay? Are you okay?”

Before he can answer a single question, Feyre goes on. “I haven’t heard from either of you in eons, it feels like. Is Nesta still picky about her foods touching? Does she get upset when you play music too loud? Does she—”

“Jesus, Feyre,” Cassian interrupts loudly. “Not everything in my life is about your sister. Give it a rest.” He takes his duffel bag back from her.

“I’m just curious!” she says indignantly, but Cassian is already heading up the winding stairs to his guest room, going as fast as he can without outright running.

“I need to get washed up!” he announces before Feyre can make him stop and come back for more questioning.

In the safety of his bedroom, he releases a breath.

If Cassian thought keeping Nesta’s health issues from Feyre was difficult, he couldn’t have predicted how painful it would be to hide his feelings for Nesta. Still, he doesn’t dare expose what he can’t yet define, especially not to his nosy-ass friends. Some things just aren’t matters for gossip.

***

Nesta hesitantly enters Emerie’s small studio apartment to a party in full swing; “full swing” being Justinian and Isaac playing video games on the couch while Emerie is in the kitchen area attempting to make drinks. Nesta stops near the kitchenette and crosses her arms, surveying the scene. “Something about this doesn’t look right,” she says aloud. Emerie doing the hard work while the men play? Antithetical to her very nature.

“I know,” is all Emerie says without looking up from whatever hellish concoction she’s whipping up. “But I’m the host, so this is my role.”

“Hey, Nesta,” the guys speak up together, not taking their eyes off the TV. Isaac is the first to break his concentration from the game, glancing at Nesta and doing a double take. “Woah, you look good today.” Is he blushing?

Emerie finally looks up at that, eyeing Nesta’s modest black dress. “A little funeral-chic, but still hot as ever, babe.” Right after, she makes a face at the term babe. “Nope, I tried it and I hate it.”

Nesta hates it just as much, but goes over to help Emerie with what she now realizes are oddly colored Jello shots. She picks up a little plastic cup with dark jelly in it and wiggles it around. “What color is this supposed to be?”

“Brown.” Emerie blows a piece of escaped hair out of her face. “They were supposed to be Thanksgiving themed.”

Nesta surveys the shots arranged in various fall colors. Definitely an interesting choice for a twenty-four year old law student, but what did Nesta know about parties?

“Where’s Eris?” she asks casually as she helps arrange more cups. Her argument with Emerie is far from forgotten, but the two women are too alike for their own good. They’ll ignore the lingering tension until it dissipates, and that will be the end of that.

Before Emerie can answer Nesta’s question, a loud bang comes from the entryway as the already open door hits the wall. Eris Vanserra sweeps inside in his designer coat and sophisticated boots, followed by a new, striking face. “It’s fucking freezing,” he announces, just as the new guy quietly shuts the door behind them.

“You’re late,” Emerie says in her usual flat tone.

“I had to pick up my twerp brother.” Eris tilts his head toward the redhead behind him.

“I didn’t ask to come,” the new guy, Eris’s brother, chimes in.

Nesta is perked up now, angling to get a better look at him. Same hair color, same eyes, different skin tone from Eris. He looks like the relaxed, unpretentious version of his brother. Someone pauses the video game.

“I’m Lucien,” he awkwardly raises a hand.

Justinian looks at everybody else. “I’m confused— does this mean we can finally replace Eris’s punk ass?”

The thought of an unexpected guest first makes Nesta clench up, especially when she’s seated right next to the damn guy at the dining table. New people means everything about the regular social routine will be changed up, and she isn’t at all prepared for it.

It takes maybe fifteen minutes for her to realize that Lucien is nothing to worry about— much quicker than she’s ever warmed up to a stranger before.

He has the affected quiet confidence of someone who would rather be anywhere else but here. No one knows that mask better than Nesta.

Against all odds, she’s the first to initiate a conversation.

“Why are you here?” she says bluntly.

No hello, no how are you. Fuck, this is why she doesn’t talk to people.

Lucien looks surprised at the sudden acknowledgment, but answers, “My plans got cancelled at the last minute.” His mouth tightens as he looks toward his brother. “So Eris dragged me here instead.”

“You don’t like your brother?”

Lucien narrows his eyes at her, defensive. “Is this an interrogation or something?”

Embarrassment heats Nesta’s face, but she hides it under her usual cold stare. “Never mind.”

She turns back to her food, refocusing on an anecdote Isaac is giving about a girl he met the other week. A moment later, Lucien says lowly, “I can’t stand my brother.”

She laughs a little too loudly at that, and everyone looks at her.

Isaac grins. “See, Nesta thinks it’s a funny story.”

Nesta frowns. “No, I don’t. You told it last week and no one laughed.”

His face falls. Eris laughs out loud at him, and Emerie tosses wadded up napkins at both men. “You’re both deeply uninteresting. Let’s talk about me.”

She launches into a heated discussion about how she plans to defeat “that bitch Brian” for the internship at Velaris’s biggest law firm next summer, with Eris interjecting that she wouldn’t survive a day in the big city. Nesta turns back to Lucien. “I understand how you feel.”

“You hate Eris too?”

“No, but I have sisters.” Eris is nice, if a pretentious asshole at times, but she empathizes with Lucien either way.

He raises a brow. “And you’re here for Thanksgiving instead of with them?”

For the first time all night, Nesta remembers that Cassian is having fun in a spacious penthouse with Feyre and Elain and the others, likely eating much nicer food than store-bought turkey and Jello shots, and she almost deflates. Almost. Because as much as she enjoys this— spending time with people that belong to her, not Feyre or anybody else— there’s a hollow space in the room that Cassian usually fills. She doesn’t know how she can miss someone and be this thoroughly content at the same time, but she tries not to ponder on her feelings.

She shrugs at Lucien’s question. “We’re all here instead of with our families.”

What would have been a thirty-minute meal on Nesta’s own stretches into a long night of full bellies and fuller conversation. Justinian demands a toast in honor of Friendsgiving, and Emerie tells him not to pull that cringy shit, but everyone ends up raising their small Jello shots to clink against each other.

Thanksgiving might be Nesta’s favorite holiday.

***

Cassian doesn’t know what this feeling is: the itching, nervy sense of impatience that plagues him the longer dinner drags on. All he knows is that tonight Mor’s laughter is just a little too loud, and Amren’s quips are just a little too sharp, and Rhys’s stories aren’t very interesting for once.

Nothing about his friends have changed, but somehow, Cassian feels different. Empty. He can’t stop thinking about what Nesta is doing right now.

He checks his phone under the table for the sixth time in three minutes, for what, he doesn’t know. Maybe she’s in trouble and needs his help. Maybe she’s having a bad night and wants to talk to him. Maybe she’s just bored and thinking about him.

None of this is true, evidently, because his phone remains dead silent.

“Cassian.” It’s Elain’s gentle voice that draws him out of his head. “What’s it like having a roommate for once? I know you and Nesta love being alone.”

He nearly jumps out of his skin. “Alone? No we don’t. Why would we love being alone together?”

Elain looks at him like he’s grown a new head. “I didn’t mean alone together. It’s just that you’ve always spent your time boarded up in that mountain cabin on your own, and before Nesta moved in, she wouldn’t leave her apartment even to see me.”

“I never thought of it that way,” Feyre butts in. She whirls to Cassian with her hands under her chin. “All this time I was wondering what you and Nesta living together would be like, and I didn’t even consider you guys avoiding each other.”

Cassian scoffs a laugh but doesn’t know how to respond. He just wants Feyre and Elain to stop poking at this raw, fresh thing in his life before his nerves get worse, so he turns to Amren and brings up the thing he knows will shut everyone down: work. “How much longer is Rhys gonna have you playing double agent at Adriatic?” She’s been acting as brand ambassador to the West Coast-based conglomerate for the past five months, playing nice while gathering information on Night Court Inc.’s biggest competitor.

Groans resound around the table, but Amren’s eyes brighten frightfully. “If he keeps me there any longer, I might end up staying for good.”

Rhysand smiles thinly. “Amren has a crush on their new CFO. If she keeps going on about Varian’s pretty face I might pull her out of Adriatic by the end of the year.”

Just as Cassian is about to convince himself to care, his phone vibrates in his hand. Everything tunes out as he sees Nesta’s name on the screen, attached to a new text. He clicks into it.

A picture of Nesta and her friends around a dinner table pops up, smiling and laughing. His heart catches in his throat at the image.

“What did we say about phones during dinner, Cassian?” Rhysand interrupts just then.

Cassian stands up quickly, stammering, “Uh, I just need to answer this call— it’s important.” Azriel is staring up at him like he’s lost his mind, but Cassian doesn’t notice or care as he rushes out of the room with his phone in a death grip, overcome.

Alone in a hallway bathroom, he lets himself look at the picture again, hungrily absorbing every detail he couldn’t catch the first time around: her face is flushed and her hair is down, wilder than usual. Her smile is so rarely genuine that it kills him a little just to see it; he doesn’t know whether to be relieved or pained that she’s having such a good time, that she isn’t missing him like he’s missing her. A sharp-faced girl that Cassian assumes is Emerie is holding the camera, likely having stolen Nesta’s phone to demand a picture, and the two women are surrounded by guys he doesn’t recognize. Except—

The face beside Nesta’s catches Cassian’s attention, and he clicks to zoom in. “Is that Lucien Vanserra?” he mutters.

Elain’s ex gets to hang out with Nesta while he doesn’t? This is fucked.

He doesn’t have a reason for his actions as he shoves his phone into his pocket and exits the bathroom. He just knows he needs to get out of here, away from this place that’s so far from Nesta’s heart.

His keys and coat hang near the front door, and he can hear Feyre’s voice from the dining room. “Cassian? Where are you—”

The door slams behind him before she can finish.

***

Being the only one who refused to get drunk off Jello shots, Eris offers to drive Nesta home for the night.

While Lucien is passed out in the backseat without a care in the world, Nesta is so awake she can feel her nerves buzzing. She knows as soon as she leaves this car, the bittersweet loneliness that comes after a party will set in, but for now…

What a night. She sighs and lets her head fall back against the seat, a small smile gracing her lips.

“Damn,” Eris lets out a low whistle as he pulls up to the mountain cabin. “This is your place?”

She lifts her head, realizing she’s home. “Ah. It’s only a temporary living situation,” she explains. “It’s my— friend’s place.”

“Friend or sugar daddy?” Eris smirks.

Nesta scowls, grabbing her stuff and pushing open the door to leave. It’s not Eris’s fault she’s unable to take a joke about Cassian, but that doesn’t change the sensitivity of the topic.

“Hey, wait—” he calls after her.

She pauses to look back at him. He hesitates, then says, “Good night.”

“Take care of your brother,” she directs. Stepping out of his fancy car, she shuts the door and raises a hand in goodbye, watching him pull away from the cabin.

Alone in the driveway, Nesta stands under the moonlight for a long moment, letting the chill seep into her bones. She’s dawdling.

She pauses again at the front door, her hand on the doorknob. The dreaded loneliness is already coming over her, crawling over her skin and making a home in the cage of her ribs.

A whole weekend without Cassian.

Maybe she should have asked Emerie if she could stay over for the night, but a part of her knows it would have been futile. Emerie can’t replace Cassian’s constant presence, no matter how much Nesta likes her.

It’s only three days. She steels herself and unlocks the door, prepared to be greeted by darkness and hollow silence.

The first thing she notices when she steps inside is the sound of crackling, followed by a warm glow from the living area. The lights are all off, but the fireplace is ablaze.

Nesta’s brows furrow, confused, but then she sees on the couch— “Cassian?”

***

a/n: i know justinian and isaac are names for side characters that sjm has used before but in this case they're completely different ocs.

taglist: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @sensitiveillyrian @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja

#a favor #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #ncssianwrites #nessian fic #nessian au

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shadow-assassin-blix · 4 years ago

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I Wonder

Frankie Morales x reader.

Based off the song by Shawn Mendes, because it keeps running around in my head.

I wonder if I'm being real Do I speak my truth or do I filter how I feel?

For the past year, you have been dating Frankie Morales on and off. It was a strange relationship at times. You didn’t quite know how or why you both would stop speaking to one another. It would just… happen. You would go on several dates, and then suddenly one of you would pull away.

Either he would pull away thinking he wasn’t good enough for you, or you would pull away when your fear of being in love overwhelmed you. You had been hurt far too many times in the past, and you couldn’t stand the thought of someone as amazing as Frankie turning into your worst nightmare.

I wonder, wouldn't it be nice To live inside a world that isn't black and white?

For Frankie he thought you were perfect. You were beautiful, and smart. You adored his daughter just as much as he did. He worried though… He worried that one day his past would catch up to him. That he might fall off the wagon that he spent years trying to stay on. Hell, the only reason he’s been able to for so long is because Pope lived a few blocks down and checked up on him often. He was nothing but an old junkie. Why the hell would you love him?

I wonder what it's like to be my friends Hope that they don't think I'll forget about them

Both of their friends shook their heads every time they pulled away. Why couldn’t those two see? Why couldn’t they see how much happier they were together? How miserable they both are apart?

All they could was be supportive as possible and help them pick up the pieces when they inevitably broke away again.

I wonder why I'm so afraid Of saying something wrong, I never said I was a saint

It was November, and you were both happy. The two of you had spent Halloween together, watching horror movies and giving out candy. You even spoke about doing a Friendsgiving this year. A week before it though, Frankie had begun ignoring your calls and texts. He barely spoke to you when you were together.

‘He’s pulling away again.’ You thought as you went home alone. You sat with your back pressed against the front door. ‘I don’t think I can keep doing this.’

I wonder, when I cry into my hands I'm conditioned to feel like it makes me less of a man

Frankie was aware… His negative thoughts getting the best of him. ‘They don’t love you. Why would they? You’re nothing but a washed-up pilot. A druggie. A nobody.’

He stared down at his sleeping daughter, with a sad smile. ‘The only thing in this world I didn’t fuck up.’

He moved into his bedroom, turning off his phone when he saw that you were calling him. ‘They deserve better.’

He sat on the floor next to his bed. He leaned his head back, his hands covering his face as tears silently fell.

And I wonder if someday you'll be by my side And tell me that the world will end up alright

You spoke to your best friend the next day. Voicing your concerns.

“I think… I think he’s trying to leave again… but damnit... I don’t want him to!” You nearly shouted as you paced up and down in your living room.

“Why not? What makes this time different? It’s not the first time either of you have pulled away before. What’s changed?” Your friend asked pouring a glass of wine for the both of you.

“I… I don’t know…” You lied not wanting to say it out loud.

“I think you do. He’s the first guy you have dated in years, that was honest about his past. That’s honest about his life. That’s been loyal to you. You don’t see it, but he looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars. So, say it,” Your friend commanded with an eyebrow raised.

You paced a bit more, gnawing on your bottom lip anxiously.

“I love him,” You admitted finally, sighing heavily.

“Then what are you standing here for complaining to me? Go get him,” Your friend urged you with a smile.

I wonder I wonder

You stood at his door, and could hear him with the guys, watching college football. You took a deep breath and knocked on his door.

A moment passed before Santi appeared at the door. “Hey? You here for Frankie?”

“Yeah, uhh… could you… tell him to come out here please?”

He nodded his head and walked back in. A minute passed and Frankie came out with a confused look.

“Hey. Um. What’s up?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck, uncomfortable.

“We need to talk,” You simply say and dragged him over to his garage.

He followed, before leaning against his truck, his arms crossed.

“I’m tired of this, Frankie. I’m tired of the on and off shit. I can’t deal with it anymore,” You began rushed and panicked.

“Are you… break-“ Frankie began to ask his eyes wide.

“No. I’m trying to say… that I want to be with you. That I’m in love with you. That I hope you love me too, and if you dont I will leave and never come back,” You were beginning to ramble.

Right before I close my eyes The only thing that's on my mind Been dreamin' that you feel it too

Frankie couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He stopped you.

“Wait. Go back. Repeat that one part,” Frankie requested moving to stand directly before you.

“I’ll leave and never come back?” You parroted with flinch.

“No. Before that,” He shook his head, pulling you closer.

“That I want to be with you?” You were dodging now.

“I mean that part was good too, but I meant the thing you said right after?” He was resting his forehead against yours now, his smile slowly growing.

“I’m in love with you,” You finally repeated staring into his eyes.

At that, he pulled you into a kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, as he lifted you up when he stood up straight.

“I love you too,” He whispered against your lips as he pulled away.

I wonder what it's like to be loved by you

#Frankie Morales #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #song fic #not my best #but it was a cute idea thats been hounding me #for the past 24hrs.

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joviewinchester · 4 years ago

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25 Days of Christmas Special!

Oh my god. He’s so pretty. I need help. My mom literally told me I’m gonna end up marrying a criminal one day and I was like. Oh. Thanks, mom. We have good times. Like if I shift to the Vampire Diaries you best bet I am going to marry a criminal but like here, eh. Maybe. I’m probably on the FBI watchlist at this point. Side note, I love Caroline but she’s getting hard core dissed in this thing so like I guess that’s a warning. Also sorry that this one is a day late. I had writers block.

3.) Secret Santa

“Why did you invite him?” Caroline asked Y/N quietly.

“I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to you. He was literally trapped alone in a prison world for years of his life. He hasn’t had any pleasant Christmases.”

“Oh, I don’t know why I’d be upset that you brought a sociopath that murdered his entire family.”

“Yeah. I don’t know why you’d be upset either but we’re all here for secret Santa, so I guess you’ll just have to deal with it.” Y/N sassed.

“Yeah. Merry freaking Christmas. I have a sociopath and Damon Salvatore in our house. Our house Y/N. Ours.”

“You really shouldn’t be upset. I’m pretty sure l am the only person in this house right now who hasn’t killed someone. Also, you literally look like you want to murder me right now, so you and Kai have more in common than I thought.” Y/N said. She patted her older sister on the back before leaving the kitchen where Caroline insisted on a sidebar.

As Y/N walked into the sitting room, she heard Caroline groan in frustration.

“You do know that more than half of the room heard that conversation, right?” Damon asked as Y/N sat in between him and Kai.

“Yep. Do I care? No.”

“I think you’ve been hanging around those two too much, Y/N.” Bonnie said gesturing towards Damon and Kai.

“That hurts Bon Bon. It hurts.” Damon said sarcastically placing his hand over his chest. Bonnie smiled but rolled her eyes.

“Well, now you made Caroline into the Grinch, so hopefully she doesn’t take it out on the rest of us.” Elena said.

“I heard that!” Caroline yelled from the kitchen. They all laughed under their breath. Seconds later Caroline came out of the kitchen carrying cookies, a light scowl planted on her face. It soon turned into a fake smile, you know one of those scary Caroline fake smiles.

“Hmm. I’m fine. I’m totally fine. This’ll be the best secret Santa ever. Who knows? Might even top Friendsgiving where Jo almost died on the couch. Such low expectations to meet. It has to be better, right? Right?”

“Okay. Okay. Let’s just put down the hot tray of cookies. That’s it.” Stefan said patting her on the shoulder.

Caroline let out a sigh, trying to calm herself. “So, let’s get started.”

The tension in the air was thick. Kai hadn’t said a word. Every time Y/N looked over he was on Twitter. At one point she almost laughed because she saw him looking at Ralph Macchio’s Twitter.

“Okay so, everyone knows how this works right? Give the person’s name you drew last week the gift. It’s simple seriously. If you don’t know how this works you’re an idiot.” Caroline said.

“Okay. So, the passive aggressive attitude hasn’t passed has it?” Y/N asked.

Caroline rolled her eyes. “Let’s just get this over with. Also, I’d appreciate if you found somewhere else to stay at tonight.”

“Rude. Yo, Damon, can I stay in one of the spare bedrooms tonight?”

“Sure. Problem solved blondie.” He said addressing Caroline in her least favorite way. She scoffed.

“I don’t get a say? It’s my house too.” Stefan chimed in.

“Do you have something to say to me there, Stef?” Y/N asked.

“No, I would just like for my brother to console me before having someone spend the night in my house.”

“Our house Stefan. Ours.”

“Oh lovely. Just what we need! Another sibling feud!” Elena exlclaimed.

“Okay, you know what? I’m just gonna go. I don’t want in the middle of this whatsoever. Elena, are you coming?” Bonnie asked.

“Don’t have to ask me twice.” She said following Bonnie out the door.

“Great! Look what you did, Y/N!”

“What I did?! You’re the one that’s being a bitch!”

“You did not just go there!”

“I’m the oldest one Stefan! I make the decisions!”

“Well you sure don’t act like it, Damon!”

The arguments overlapped as Kai stood in the corner observing.

“Heh. Just how Christmas was at my house.” Kai smirked to himself.

Kai didn’t quite catch what was said that caused it to happen, but Y/N punched Caroline in the face.

She gasped popping her broken nose back in place. “Jerk!” She exclaimed.

“Bitch!” Y/N said back. She flipped her off and ran upstairs. Minutes later she came back down carrying a bag of essentials. “Have fun telling mom why I’m not home by curfew, you dumbass! Come on, Kai.”

He chuckled to himself a bit, then followed her. Not long after, they had arrived at Kai’s apartment.

“You coming in or what? You’re staying here now right?” He asked.

“I was just gonna like sleep in my car, but since your offering…”

“You’re welcome anytime your sister’s being stuck up and bitchy.”

“Oh so literally 24/7? Thanks.” She joked.

“Sorry you had to listen to that.” She muttered as they entered the building.

“Eh. I’m used to it.”

They entered his apartment. Y/N threw her stuff beside the couch. There was an awkward moment of silence before Kai broke it.

“I’m hungry. Are you hungry?”

“Yeah. You wanna go to the Grill or something?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

They drove to the Grill and entered to see Damon at the bar drinking whiskey. What else was new?

“Stef kick you out of the house?” Y/N joked.

“Oh ha ha, Y/N. No, I just don’t want to deal with his bullshit. Well, would you look at that? You brought the psychopath with you.”

“Sociopath.” Kai corrected. The door swung open revealing Bonnie and Elena.

“Wow. We all try to avoid each other and end up in the same place.” Elena said.

“Well, merry freaking Christmas and a happy new year. My sister hates me. It’s 7:00 pm and I’m drinking. And I haven’t even stabbed anyone with a candy cane yet. I’ve always wanted to do that.” She mumbled the last sentence to herself. She downed a shot.

“Also you aren’t even 21 and are drinking in a public place.” Elena added. Y/N glared at her.

“You know, I’m starting to worry about your violent tendencies.” Bonnie stated.

“I think it suits her.” Damon smirked.

“I definitely agree with Damon for once in my life. It’s hot.”

Y/N elbowed Kai in the ribs.

“Ow. Why didn’t he get elbowed?” Kai complained.

“He wasn’t flirting with me.”

Y/N ordered some chicken strips and French fries from Matt.

“You’re such a child.” Damon said. “Oh I’m sorry I would rather eat chicken strips than a salad or a blood bag. I’m not a vampire or a real adult, Damon. You should know that by now.”

“Oh yeah. I forgot in the midst of everything. Merry Christmas, Kai.” Y/N handed him a Walkman and a cassette. “I made you a mixtape. I understand if you don’t like use it or anything but…”

“No, Y/N, I like it. Thanks…Wow. Ugh, I’m having that mushy feeling again. Gross. Feelings are hard.”

Bonnie and Elena gave each other a look. “Damon, let’s go play pool or something.” Bonnie said. Her and Elena forced him to get up.

Once they got over to the pool table, Damon glared at them. “No. No. No. We were doing damage control. Are you two seriously going to let your best friend fall in love with him?”

“Look, this could potentially make him less of a threat. Wouldn’t you like to let the issue fix itself for once? Kai has feelings now. He is in love with her. We keep it that way, he might not go on another murderous rampage.”

“How did you say that so nonchalantly? He has feelings because he literally killed his brother.” Damon said gesturing toward him.

“Oh god. They’re making out. That is literally disgusting. How are you all okay with this?”

“I don’t want to do something for once. I agree with Elena. Let the problem fix itself.” Bonnie said.

“You know what? Fine. I won’t interfere. I’ll just be watching. I’ll l be waiting because sooner or later this is going to bite you both in the ass, just like when she was with Kol. The cycle is repeating, and I’m not helping this time when you just ‘leave it alone’”

Damon left, and Bonnie and Elena both shrugged and started playing pool. “Merry Christmas Elena.” “Merry Christmas Bonnie.”

#kai parker #kai parker x reader #tvd imagine #tvdforever #elena gilbert #bonnie bennett #damon salvatore #stefan salvatore #caroline forbes #liz forbes #christmas 2020 #25 days of christmas #luke parker #kol mikaelson

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polyintheburbs · 5 years ago

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Conflicted: an insomniacs random ramblings

I have insomnia so here are some random thoughts.

This is actually my side blog, but it has about 10 thousand more followers than my main blog. Is it that I’m much more interesting when I hide behind a persona? If I posted more about the real me, would I lose followers? Does anyone care to see who I actually am? Would that scare them away? Maybe I have the same number of real people following me on both blogs, but more spam bots on this one? Would anyone follow my other blog if I cross-promoted it, or would it just be more dick pics in my inbox?

Speaking of dick pics: I’m a straight cis male. Don’t send me yours. I don’t care to see it and I won’t show it to either my spouse or girlfriend. I also never send any nude pics unsolicited, but if you are a mutual and want to share pics, you just have to ask. But it is quid pro quo.

I thank you for those of you that continue to follow me despite my low volume of posting lately. Life gets in the way and I don’t take the time that I need to write.

Same goes for asks. I have quite a few in my inbox. I’ll get around to answering them eventually. Feel free to add to my queue.

How long can I make this post before you get bored? Has it happened already? Did I lose you? Maybe I’ll write something controversial further down to see if anyone is actually paying attention.

More on my not writing much: I have a day job that involves writing. So I sit at a computer all day typing away. Many times, the last thing I want to do when I get home is to go back to sitting at the computer. Also, I enjoy spending time with the people in my life. Still, I feel like I have neglected this blog and I should block time out so I write more. I’d love to eventually write a book about being polyam. Maybe a new laptop would help.

We live a block away from our favorite dive bar. It’s both a blessing and a curse. We can go there anytime. We are friends with the entire staff and most of the regulars. They all know about us and refer to us as the “quad”. The drinks are cheap. But we can go there anytime. And often do just out of default. Once you get to know all the regulars, the people watching diminishes a bit. It was Willow and Sirius’ bar before we moved into the area, and I often feel like I am a little bit of an outsider. Willow tells me I’m being ridiculous and she’s probably right. It’s also weird that Willow’s and my kids like to hang out there with us. I’m glad that these young adults are comfortable hanging with their cool parents (their words), but maybe not all the time. It’s also nearly impossible to have a quiet conversation between ourselves without one of the regulars coming up to chat. One of the regulars is in an unhappy relationship and when she gets drunk, she gets handsy with whoever she happens to be sitting close to.

Epstein didn’t kill himself.

Does the title of this post even remotely cover what the actual post is about? When I was laying in bed trying to sleep, I came up with the title first. Now I don’t think it works. But I can’t think of anything better. (Edit: the original title was just “Conflicted” but I changed it to warn readers that this would not be an entertaining or insightful post.)

We went to a friendsgiving party with a bunch of lifestyle people last week. There were swingers, polyams, BDSM, and all variety of combinations. It was a ton of fun. I miss going to those types of events. Not for the shenanigans, but for meeting new people and visiting with friends. I’m not great at small talk. I’m getting better. And small talk is so much easier at a lifestyle event. The vibe is completely different than in a muggle bar. There, a woman’s defenses seem to go up the moment you talk to them. Or maybe I just come off as creepy to muggles. I don’t know. I feel like I don’t belong in the muggle world.

I don’t feel like I’m much of a swinger either. Even when we were going to play parties on a regular basis, my game was not very strong. I could chat with a woman, but when it came to the transition, I could never get it right. At this party, we were never intending to play with anyone else so there was no pressure. We could just chat.

I wonder what Zelda and Willow will think when they read this? At times I think I’m not being honest enough on here and other times I think I’m way too honest. They’ll let me know either way.

Maybe I’ll claim that I wrote this in my sleep. Yeah, that’s the ticket. This post has been brought to you by Ambien. Ambien-it’s not just for sleep eating.

If you made it this far: congratulations. There was probably more that I was planning to write about, but given the late hour, I’ve already forgotten. If there’s one thing that I’d like you to know, it’s this: I’m here and love writing to you all. Send in your questions and let’s have a nice chat. Also Epstein didn’t kill himself.

#brain dump #polyamory #polyamorous #ethical non monogamy #ethical nonmonogamy #responsible hedonism #polyam #Poly #Ill read this in the morning and decide if I should delete it #late night #insomnia

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hellas-himself · 5 years ago

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Crack Ship Holidays

Friendsgiving pt. 5

The day after Thanksgiving is when our Christmas begins. We put up decorations and the tree and then our holiday season ends in the middle of January. I had meant to post this sooner but it’s been hectic lol but y'all already know the deal.

“I’m so glad you could come with me,” Aelin says and loops her arm around mine. “Elide didn’t believe me when I said the lines wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Mor told me the same thing.”

“And where is she?”

“Hung over. She’ll be doing all her shopping from the comfort of her bed.”

“So smart… But I have no patience for online shipping.”

We put the bags in the trunk of her car.

“You still haven’t gotten anything for Cassian,” she says as we get in the car.

“You haven’t gotten anything for Rowan.”

“Touché, Archeron.”

I roll my eyes and laugh.

“What did you get him last year?”

I hate that I blush but Aelin is busy backing out to notice.

“I wasn’t working last Christmas… But I painted a few pieces for everyone. What did you get Rowan?”

“Two things- One present to open in front of family, and another for when we were alone.”

When I look at her, she’s grinning and wriggling her eye brows.

“Christmas is also when Cas and I started getting… closer. We didn’t actually do anything until New Year’s but that’s beside the point.”

“What do you give a man who has everything?” she muses.

“I-”

My phone vibrates and I pull it out of my pocket. Adela Rodriguez tagged you and Cassian Rodriguez in a post.

“What is it?”

“Cassian’s mom… she posted something on Facebook- and tagged me in it.”

“Well, what is it?”

I tap the notification and watch the screen change from my home screen to a picture of Cassian and I with her. Cassian is standing behind us, trapping us in a bear hug. Adela and I are laughing.

“It’s us… She wrote me something… Mi yerna querida, gracias por amar a mi hijo como el se merece.”

“And she speaks Spanish, too,” Aelin deadpans before giving me a smile.

I laugh. “Says the musician… But yes. I practically lived in their house, so I learned…”

“What does that mean, though?”

“My beloved daughter in law, thank you for loving my son the way he deserves.”

“Oh, my god. That’s so sweet! How did dinner go with them?”

“It was amazing. I can’t wait to get the Christmas card in the mail. I’m in it this year.”

“That’s adorable.”

“What about you?”

“It was really nice… Aedion and Lys came over with Evangeline. Manon and Dorian stopped by with Elide and Lorcan. Fenris and Connall always spend the holidays with us, they brought the dessert this year.

“Rowan’s parents passed away when he was really young, as did my mine… Rowan isn’t close to his family- Only his cousin Endymion. My uncle Gavriel and cousin Aedion are the only family I have left, well by blood. There are uncles and all that, but they weren’t in my life until I was already an adult.”

Aelin spoke so frankly…

“I’m sorry, Aelin.”

“I- Thank you, Feyre… Holidays aren’t the easiest but in the end, we choose our family and I’m really lucky to have been able to find them.”

“In that I completely understand.”

Aelin pulls into the parking lot of the pet store.

“Where are your parents?” she asks me and I shove my hands in my pockets, the action making me think of Rhys. Of countless times I snuck out of my house to knock on their door.

“Suburbs… But I don’t speak to them. Neither does Elain- Our older sister, Nesta, she still talks to our mother.”

“I haven’t met Nesta yet.”

I sigh. “You probably won’t.”

Aelin raises a brow as we step into the store.

“Nesta and Cassian dated when he started college. She treated him like shit and she has the nerve to be upset that I’m with him now.”

Aelin whistles.

“Well. My friend Yrene is married to my first boyfriend, Chaol. They’re having a baby. My best friend Dorian was my… something at one point and he’s with Manon, another friend of mine.”

“Cassian and Rhys aren’t brothers by blood… But I kind of dated Rhys, too.”

“You know… that doesn’t surprise me.”

“No?”

“You remind me of Dorian and I. Because of your history, your connection to one another is deeper than anyone else- and it’s obvious.”

“It was fake at first,” I say and Aelin gapes at me. I roll my eyes and walk right to the dog aisles. “His girlfriend dumped him for some college guy so I kissed him in the parking lot to piss her off and then… That was that.”

Aelin cackles and throws an arm around me.

“That is the best thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“And Lucien… Well, people used to think we three were a thing.”

“Were you?”

“No… Not physically anyway.”

“Ah. Gotcha.”

I grab an elf’s hat and an antler head band.

“Let’s see what Cas thinks.”

“I like this, too,” Aelin adds, taking what looks like an ugly knitted sweater. It’s adorable.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and send Cassian a text. Elf or Reindeer? Though there’s ugly sweaters I like.

Dressing up for me, bunny?

I roll my eyes. No, dumb ass. Valo’s Christmas picture.

Cassian sends eye roll and thumbs down emojis before giving me a real answer.

Reindeer… But ugly sweater. Get both?

Alright, my love. Thank you. See you soon.

Elain is standing outside of my house, leaning against her SUV.

“I was just about to call you,” she says as Aelin and I get out of her car.

“Cas is probably in the shower or something,” I say as I fish for the keys in my pocket.

“No. He left with Az.”

“What?”

“Did you forget what day it is?” Elain is smirking. She hugs Aelin and I before helping bring my bags inside. I don’t hear Val.

“Oh fuck,” I say, which makes Aelin laugh.

“What’s today?”

“Their fucking football game. I completely forgot!”

“And you have to be there,” Elain says. “It’s tradition.”

“Is this where all the boyfriends and girlfriends cheer their men on?” Aelin teases.

I look at Elain who’s smile goes wicked.

“El.”

“Yes, Feyre. Even Lucien is doing it, and he’s playing, too.”

“Okay, I want to know what ‘it’ is,” Aelin says and crosses her arms.

“Let’s hide these in my art room,” I mutter and they follow after me. “Elain, Lucien and Adela have matching jerseys with their respective partner’s name- which is fucking adorable. But then there’s the fucking face paint and the pom poms-”

“Oh, my fucking god. Rowan has a game today- Please tell me Rowan is playing against Cassian.”

“He is, actually,” Elain says.

“I wear my high school cheer outfit every year,” Aelin happily adds. “Sometimes, I prefer it when Rowan’s team loses. The sex is amazing when he’s cranky.”

Elain laughs.

“Same with Az.”

“Wait, I don’t have one. A jersey, I mean.”

“That, baby sister, is where you are wrong.” Elain reaches into her enormous bag and hands me a folded jersey. “Had it made after you told me you were official.”

It’s black and white, with red letters. There are the numbers ‘07’ on the front and Cassian’s name on the back. It is so ridiculous and yet…

Aelin is waiting for Elain and I in the parking lot of the park. She has her hair in pig tails and she’s wearing a green and white cheer outfit with long sleeves. She even has pom poms.

“Elide is here already,” she says as she slips her phone into the pocket of her skirt and then she looks at me. “Damn, Feyre, I didn’t know you were hiding all that under those clothes.”

I sigh. I kept my hair down and tied the jersey at my waist, right where my long-sleeved white crop top stops. I paired them with waisted red leggings and the black, red and white sneakers I’ve had forever.

“Cassian isn’t going to be able to focus with all that ass.”

Elain snorts.

“And don’t act like I don’t see you, Elain,” Aelin says playfully. My sister blushes.

Aelin introduces me to her friends, all of them so beautiful I’m left dumbstruck. I introduce them to my sister as well as Adela and Elyse who immediately offered them sandwiches and coquito. There is music playing loudly and Iliana is dancing around her father who is absentmindedly spinning her around as he talks strategy with Lucien. Valo is rolling around in the ground with Aelin’s dog, Fleetfoot- a dog she and Dorian adopted together long before she and Rowan became a thing.

Amren is here as well, to my surprise but I see Varian chatting with Fenris and his twin brother, Connall- he made the boys’ team even. I see Cassian standing next to the tallest man I’d ever seen- brutally handsome with long black hair, tied up in a messy bun just like Cassian has his.

And then he sees me.

Aelin slaps my ass and winks before I walk over towards him. I hear her calling for Rowan in a sing song voice behind me.

“Hello, handsome,” I say as Cassian pulls me in for a kiss.

“I was going to ask you what you got me for Christmas,” he whispers into my ear as his hands wander down to grip my ass. “But it looks like Christmas came early.”

“Stop it!” I laugh and he kisses me again.

He seems to remember that his friend is standing there still. He isn’t smiling, but his eyes are alight with amusement.

“Bunny, this is Lorcan. He works with Rowan. Lor, this is my girlfriend, Feyre.”

I give him a wave.

“Hi.”

“So you’re the girl in the picture,” he says and I look at Cassian expectantly. He laughs and rubs the back of his neck.

“What picture?”

“It’s nothing,” he says and punches Lorcan’s arm. “Let me introduce you to the guys.”

Lorcan smirks but when I hear Elide call his name, he smiles. A real smile. Cassian takes my hand and guides me away.

“What was that all about?”

“He’s an ass.”

“Clearly. But really, what picture?”

Cassian sighs. “I’ll show you later.”

I raise a brow and Cassian kisses me.

“Please?”

“Alright, Rodriguez. I won’t forget.”

“I’m counting on it.”

Fenrys is one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever met in my life. Like Rhys, and Dorian. He is just as flirtatious as Aelin and Cassian are but his twin brother is way more reserved and I am not surprised to see Connall navigate towards Azriel. Aelin’s cousin could pass as her twin brother but he also reminds me of Cassian in a way.

“Evangeline is amazing. I love having her in class,” I say to Lysandra and Aedion who are looking at her fondly. Evangeline is blushing. “I can’t wait to see what you come up with for the art show.”

Rhys and Lucien finally show up, with Helion and Aurelie in tow.

“Sorry we’re late,” Rhys says.

“You went black Friday shopping, didn’t you?” Cas asks and Rhys just shrugs.

“He and Mor were gone all morning,” Lucien replies and Rhys looks at him as though he’s been betrayed. “Hungover my ass.”

“Well, I’m here now!”

Lucien rolls his eyes and ties up his hair.

“I will ask one of Rowan’s friends to switch with me so I can kick your ass,” Lucien snaps at Rhys.

“Do it then.”

“Hey, I know you two like to argue as foreplay but this is Feyre’s first game as Cassian’s girlfriend,” Azriel says in a rather saccharine tone. It’s almost condescending. “Let them have their moment.”

I can’t help but laugh as Rhys and Lucien practically pry me away from Cassian to apologize and hug and kiss me profusely. I can hear Adela scolding Azriel but the tone in her voice is jovial.

Vinny calls for them to separate into teams. Lucien does in fact switch places with Fenrys, who is all too happy to be on ‘the team that Feyre is cheering for’.

I take my seat beside my sister and Adela as everyone takes their place on the muddy field. Vinny is acting as goal keeper. I had always cheered the boys on, though Elain and Adela are always the most vocal. Nothing has changed in the way Cassian smiles when our eyes meet, or the way I jump to my feet to cheer him on as he makes a goal. I just can’t believe I’d never noticed it before. I have been to nearly every one of Cassian’s footballs games, even when he was dating Nesta. I’ve seen him lose some, seen him win but it never gets old.

Aelin is betting Elide that Cassian is going to hand Lorcan his ass while Manon shouts at Rowan’s team- she should have been a coach. They don’t get into a fight, but it is obvious they are not used to actually having to worry about the opposing team. It’s amusing, but I know that someone is going to be bruised and aching later.

When the game is over, I am not surprised that Cassian’s team won but I am caught off guard as Cassian makes his way to me and lifts me off my feet. He kisses me, ignoring Elyse’s sounds of disgust. When we stop to breathe, I smooth his hair away from his face.

“Your football games would have been so much more fun if this was how they ended,” I say teasingly. Cassian laughs. “That was a good game, Cas.”

“I am beat,” he says as he sets me down.

“You guys were showing off.”

“Of course,” he says as he throws an arm around my shoulder. “I have to impress my girlfriend.”

I poke his side. “You don’t have to impress me. Win or lose, I am always proud of you.”

Cas looks at me and smiles.

“Hey, Cas!” Lorcan shouts as Elide hands him a small ice pack. “Rematch next weekend?”

“You’re on Salvaterre!”

Elide and I share the same look of exasperation.

“So, bunny, I made a stop or two before Az and I went to the park.”

“Did you?”

I follow him into the garage. He turns the light on and there are several bags and a large box…

“You got a Christmas tree?”

I walk right over to it and turn it to see the picture. It’s pre-lit, which is smart and has little red berries in it.

“If you don’t like the ornaments, I’ll go change them for something else.”

I give him a look before I look through the bags.

“Red and gold is perfect, Cas.”

“You sure?”

I nod. “Can we put it up tonight?”

He smiles. “I was hoping to.”

“Perfect.”

“I want to shower first though…”

I wave him off. “I’ll go preheat the oven for cookies and put a movie on.”

I pull a pair of stockings out of a bag and laugh.

“Cas, you didn’t!” They are red knit stockings with our monograms on them in white, there is even one for Val. “I love them so much.”

“Where should we hang them up?”

I look around the living room and my eyes fall on the little accent table he has against the wall where he’s setting up the tree. He keeps the remotes and controllers to his game consoles in there among other things. He has a few picture frames on it but nothing more.

“If you’re not opposed to putting holes in the wall… Maybe we can put a little shelf up there? I can put lights and our Yule log up there and then hang the stockings from it.”

Cassian looks at where I point to and gives a nod.

“Yeah… I think that would be nice. Let me get the tree up and then I’ll go see what I have in the garage.”

Once the tree is up and plugged in, Cassian disappears into the garage. I start putting up the ornaments- red and gold traditional ornaments, glittery birds and butterflies, snowflakes and icicles. I hear hammering and then the loud clang of the hammer falling before the drill goes off. Val and I look towards the garage curiously.

Cassian comes back with a shelf and the drill, as well as the leveler ruler.

“Tell me where,” he says and I set the box of ornaments down to mark the right spot on the wall. Val barks as Cassian drills the nails into the wall but stops when Cas looks back at him. Once the shelf is up, I hand Cassian the Yule log to set in the middle, then the candles decorated with holly and pine before he carefully arranges the white Christmas lights around them. He hides the switch behind one of the candles.

Cassian is grinning after I finish putting up the stockings and I find myself blushing.

“What?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know… It’s nice. Getting to do this with you.”

I slide my arm around his waist.

“It is, isn’t it?” I lean into him. “I’ve never done this with anyone.”

“Neither have I.” He presses a kiss to the top of my hair. “Outside of family, anyway.”

I laugh. “How did you even manage to find a shelf so quickly?”

“Oh… Well, it had been meant for the guest room but I never got around to it so it had been sitting in the garage since I got the house.”

“I’m glad I was able to give it purpose.”

“Yeah… you do have a tendency of doing that.”

I poke his side. “Stop it.”

“Seriously… Anyway, let’s go finish the tree. Rudolph is starting soon and I want to be laying down by then.”

“We have that movie on DVD, Cassian.”

“But you know it isn’t the same.”

I sigh and roll my eyes. But I know he’s right.

I come back from the kitchen with a plate of cookies and a mug full of milk. Cassian is sitting on the sofa with his sketchbook on his lap while he flips through the channels.

“Here,” I say and hand him the plate before I pull down the little arm rest of the sofa to set the mug in a cupholder. It’s a perfect excuse to take his sketchbook and sit on his lap. I reach for the blanket and drape it over our legs as he slides an arm around me, holding me against him.

“So, I had free time at work the other day and was just… drawing bullshit. Warming up. Az wants to add to his sleeve but he hasn’t decided how. Anyway, I was sketching some shit out and I got this idea.”

Cassian sets the remote aside and opens his sketchbook. I’m mesmerized by all that I see as he flips through it and then he stops.

“It wasn’t supposed to be you, but when I started drawing her face… I couldn’t help it.”

“This is beautiful, Cassian.”

She’s a faerie of some kind, with wings like a bat rather than butterflies and a crown of moons on her head. Her dress isn’t complete, but I can tell it will be a gown of some sort.

“Lorcan saw it when he and Rowan stopped by to go over our plans for today.”

“I hope you finish it.”

“Yeah?” He kisses my cheek.

“I’ll let you tattoo it on me somewhere.”

“Bunny, don’t tease me like that. You know Rhys has been trying to be the one to give you your first tattoo.”

“He can give me my second one.”

“You serious?”

“I mean… why not? I would wait until Christmas break though-”

Cassian kisses me.

“I’ll make you something better than this. I promise,” he kisses me again. “But first, our movie marathon.”

I laugh. “I love you so much, Cassian.”

“I love you too, bunny.”

#I am so in love with this stupid ship #crack ship holidays #friendsgiving #football is such a thing on thanksgiving and the weekend after #I remember sitting outside in the cold just watching the guys play #the barbecues we'd have and the music #cassian x feyre #I know im the one writing it but every time he calls her bunny I die #its a good way to go #cassian #Feyre archeron #acotar #complete self indulgence #cuz yall aint ask for this

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caffeineivore · 5 years ago

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Commission #2

For @nelwynp. Based off a very very old ficverse from wayyyyyyy back in the day called “Freckles” which may or may not be found on LJ. Makoto/Nephrite.

Commissions are still open!! Check out the details here or all the other commissions currently available here!

Long distance relationships are statistically known to suck, and honestly, I wouldn’t have considered myself the rose-coloured glasses type. The real world doesn’t care that you’ve probably, maybe, already gotten your share of crap thrown at you, starting from the death of your parents, and think maybe it should cut you a break. I knew the chances of Nick and myself making it were slim. He would be busy, surrounded by strangers a whole two states away. Sure, we’d known each other since we were kids, and maybe by now, he had become the one constant in my life-- my North Star, perhaps-- that forever friend who’d seen me at my worst and didn’t care in the least. And maybe--- maybe, finally, I’d finally told him those three words that had been nagging at the back of my subconscious for the last year of our acquaintance. He’d said them back, and it was only then that I realized how much I’d needed to hear and say them.

Still, I saw him off on that cloudy morning with dry eyes and homemade eggs Benedict-- that is to say, that I fed him and double-checked to make sure that he had not misplaced anything important. The apartment that he’d been living in was stripped bare, and all of his worldly goods were in the trailer of the U-haul which would take him to his new home. I was plugging his phone into the car charger in the front console when his arms wrapped around me from behind, and turned me to face him.

Nick has always been a good-looking guy, in that sort of rugged, All-American way, with broad shoulders and a great smile, and I’d learned at some point in our long acquaintance that he gave the best hugs-- the type that lifts you slightly off your feet and makes you feel like some type of dainty damsel even when you’re six feet tall in heeled boots. It’s no different now, and maybe I hung on for a moment too long, myself. He’s not much of a cologne guy, but his sweatshirt smells like laundry soap and I’m pretty sure he’d used my shampoo that morning again, because his hair’s super soft-- and the flowery scent is not nearly as girly on him as it is on me.

“Call me when you get there.” I hope to Hell, of course, that the fact that my voice is muffled against his neck disguises the unsteadiness.

“I’ll call you every day.”

I wouldn’t hold him to it, of course, but I didn’t say anything to that effect, and I watched as he drove off, and then headed off to the gym for a punishing three-mile run on the treadmill followed by a full hour of kickboxing to a playlist of angry girl rock, and if I cried in the shower afterwards, no one needed to know that.

He did call that night, though. And the night after. And the night after that. And soon, it had become a routine, and maybe I should have given him more credit the whole time. Before I knew it, two months had passed, and he flew down for a long holiday weekend, and after we’d christened three separate rooms in my apartment, we got caught up in person. I’d heard so much about his new place and the people he’d met at his new school that I probably could’ve picked his favourite and least favourite professors out of a crowd.

This became a thing, and so for two years, we did the long distance thing. He heard about the awful day when the stand mixer went rogue and how I was still picking bits of cake batter out of my hair two hours later. I heard so much about one particularly persnickety city inspector on a project he worked on that I learned to hate the guy as much as Nick did. Our reunions were sporadic, rapturous and never long enough, though half the time we eschewed actual dates in favour of staying in and just being ourselves together-- watching movies, working out, buying groceries and cooking meals, falling asleep so close together that it was hard to tell where one of us ended and the other one began.

We spent that first Thanksgiving at my place-- Friendsgiving, really, cooking a huge meal in a too-small kitchen, inviting all of our old friends. I shooed Nick and James out of my kitchen and chatted with Raye as she snapped a bowl of green beans for me and sounds of the football game filtered in through the living room. She was a ball of nerves-- James would be meeting her very formidable, very rich, very conservative father when he went over to her home for Christmas. Said father would not be amused to find his only daughter not only dating, but actually fully living in sin with a mouthy city boy-- when Nick had moved out, James and Raye had gotten an apartment together. Amy and Zach had arrived a bit later, because he’d had to pick her up from the hospital where her shift had run over. Kevin and Mina, on the other hand, were at her parents’ house out of state. She’d texted me all types of sad face emojis about how the cranberry sauce had come out of a can and the mashed potatoes had come out of a box, but I had no sympathy. She had parents who cooked for her for Thanksgiving, didn’t she? Besides, if she really cared about food over time spent with them and Kevin, she would have told them that she had Ebola and came over to my place instead.

At any rate, against all the odds, we somehow managed to make it work, and two years, three months and six days after that first time that I told him I loved him, he was on his way down to visit again. I’d gone up to see him get his Master’s degree two months ago and he’d taken me out around the town to celebrate with his friends and classmates. Some of them had met me before, but to those who hadn’t, he introduced me as his girlfriend, and from the easy acceptance, I knew that everyone present had some idea of our history. It had been a wonderful weekend, but I was a bit nervous about seeing him again today. Something had come up, very recently, and I wasn’t sure how he would take it.

At first, I had thought nothing of the symptoms. Fatigue and a bit of nausea doesn’t tend to alarm anyone right off the get-go. Everyone knows restaurant hours are brutal, and as an apprentice chef, any task, no matter how mundane or unpleasant, might get assigned to me on any given day. Certainly, I might get to spend one day arranging delicate edible flowers and a compote of ripe berries around and on top of fancy panna cottas, but the very next, I might be doing nothing but washing dishes and running out garbage. The kitchen I work in specializes in a rotating seasonal menu, and at the time, calamari was in season. Certainly it is delicious deep-fried with casino butter and lemon wedges, sprinkled with sea salt and cracked black pepper, but it’s definitely not as appealing raw, slimy and fishy-smelling. It’s enough to make anyone lose their appetite doing prep early in the morning. But then I was late. And not to work, if you know what I mean. One week stretched into two, then three. The nausea didn’t go away, even when my day consisted of making large quantities of bourbon vanilla buttercream frosting for strawberry white chocolate cakes. It was a week ago that I picked up two different pregnancy tests from Walgreen’s. Both results had come back to tell me what I kind of already knew, deep down, and I was honestly terrified down to the bone.

I had always wanted to have that maybe-stereotypical home and family someday-- the cute house with gingerbread trim and the white picket fence and the garden full of old-fashioned flowers, a husband who loved me and our children and went to baseball games and dance recitals with equal enthusiasm. I wanted to be able to be the mom who baked cupcakes for the bake sale and cookies for the big jar on the kitchen counter, and volunteered to chaperone field trips to the science museum. That had been my own mother, from those distant reaches of old memories, and though I’d lost her, I knew that it was in me to keep her legacy alive.

But I had not intended to do so when I had just started my career, unmarried and still living in a tiny college-campus apartment, with a boyfriend who lives two states away, who might not even want kids. God! That was a discussion we’d never even had.

The door swings open, though, before I could think about it any more. Nick has a key to my place, of course, as I do to his. Sometimes he calls, but sometimes he just arrives, like today, a little ahead of schedule. I’m caught up in one of those long, tight hugs, a warm and familiar hand cupping the back of my neck, and maybe he feels a hint of desperation in my kiss. When he pulls back, his eyes are warm, but full of concern. “Everything okay, Freckles?”

“Ugh. Can you not call me that? We’ve talked about that.” Oh, Gods... A baby with his brown hair and my green eyes. His dimples and my freckles. I can almost picture a little girl, toddling on chubby legs, riding on his shoulders, picking dandelions in the yard and blowing the fluff away in the wind. I’d teach her to bake chocolate chip cookies and read her stories where the princess saved herself and buy her pretty dresses for picture day and sturdy jeans for playing outside in. I loved her already, but she wasn’t supposed to even exist.

“Habit. And you scrunch your nose up when you’re mad, and I shouldn’t like it, but I do.” Nick presses another, shorter kiss to my mouth, then tips up my face. “But you seem a bit out of sorts. What’s wrong?”

“How could you tell if I’m out of sorts or not when you literally just walked in two minutes ago?” It’s an evasion, and I’m sure he can and will spot the bullshit and call me out on it.

“Because I’ve known you since we were kids, and you don’t have to say or do anything for me to know when you’re out of sorts.” Nick pulls me gently over to the love seat, and sits me down, keeping one of my hands in his as though he expects me to bolt at any moment. “Everything’s okay, right? You didn’t have anything particularly horrible at work this week that I recall from our conversations.”

No, this week hadn’t been bad. Breaking down chickens is fairly mindless work once you get the hang of it. And the resulting bone broth is wonderful for someone who finds it difficult to keep food down some days. Nick deserves the truth, of course, and maybe the ripping-off-the-bandaid approach is best. I shut my eyes to his all-too-perceptive, all-too-loving gaze, and set my teeth.

“I’m pregnant.”

His hand tightens on mine and his next inhaled breath is sharp, but I plow on. “I know it’s not expected, and I know we were careful, but… it is what it is. You don’t have to worry, though. I’m not some delicate little miss who’s afraid of raising a child. The executive chef at work loves me, as he should, and I’m sure they’ll work with me when the time comes for maternity leave. And in this day and age, it’s not a big deal to be a single mom. I’m keeping this baby and she’s going to get the best life that I can give her, growing up.” I don’t know why I was so certain I was having a little girl. But she already existed, to me, and at that moment in time, she was probably only the size of my pinkie nail. “She will never doubt, for a moment, that she’s loved.”

“Of course not.” Nick finally speaks, and his voice is an awed, slightly choked-up whisper. I sense him moving, then one big, warm hand rests on my still-flat stomach, followed by the press of his lips. “We’re having a baby. Wow. Okay, so I guess I should get on with what I’d already planned to do, even though I’d planned for this to be a lot more romantic.” Belatedly, I realize that not only has he moved, but he is down on his knees in front of me, one hand on my stomach, the other one digging into a pocket, and then he pulls out a small black velvet box, flicks open the catch.

I’m not much of a jewelry type of girl-- I wear the same earrings, every single day, but working in a kitchen greatly limits the practicality of going around with bracelets and rings and do-dabs. Still, stereotypical though it might be, I’d always wanted that classic diamond solitaire engagement ring from my husband-to-be, and now, when it’s staring me in the face-- princess-cut and set in platinum, I find myself speechless.

“Lita Oakley, love of my life, will you marry me?”

Of course he doesn’t mince words. In a lot of ways, I guess we’re past that point. But I draw my hand back a moment before he can slide that ring on.

“I don’t want you to propose to me because I’m pregnant and you feel obligated. You’d end up regretting it, and that would kill me.” We didn’t live together now, but if we did someday, and then it all went south, and I had to walk into an empty house bereft of his presence and his things and even the way he’d always kick his shoes off any which way by the door rather than make sure they’re put up where no one can trip over them, I knew it would break me in a way that hadn’t been possible since my parents’ deaths.

Nick rolls his eyes, though, and huffs out a breath before digging deeper into that little velvet box, all the way underneath the white satin. He takes out a crinkled paper receipt, and unfolds it, and drops it on my lap. “You are so stubborn. Do you know that? Take a look at that receipt, will you? Just… humour me.”

I do. It’s from some jeweler in his state, and the price of the ring of course makes me wince a little. It’s definitely not cheap. But then I read it a little closer, and see the time stamp on the top. It was purchased at 4:26 PM on the sixth of December, two whole years ago. Perhaps six months after he’d moved away.

“I got it as soon as I could afford it, and I’d been saving up for a while. Probably not very well-thought-out of me, when everything was so up in the air. But I’d always known that we’d be here together, someday, and I’d be asking you to marry me. Anyway, it’s got nothing to do with the fact that you’re pregnant and everything to do with the fact that I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, and there’s no one else in the world for me, and it’s too late to return this ring, anyway.” He pulls it out of the box, and I see something shining, trailing from it. “I know you can’t really wear rings, working in a kitchen. So I also got a necklace that you can wear this on, if you’ll just say yes. Please say yes.”

“How are we going to do this?” I blurt out, as that other infamous symptom of pregnancy-- emotional hormonal tears-- makes its appearance. I blink and try to sniffle them away, but Nick simply puts the ring on my finger, silvery necklace dangling from it, and gets up to his feet, pulls me gently to mine. “You live so freaking far away.”

“Not anymore I don’t.” He tugs me close, and kisses me again. “My lease is up in a month. I figure I can get another U-haul, and con the guys into helping out. I’m pretty sure that the people can put a good word in for me to get hired in somewhere local-- dumb jock notwithstanding, I worked my ass off these last few years and have the credentials and grades to prove it. Since my lease is up in a month anyway, might as well look for a new place to live. Some place that can be baby-proofed, and definitely not a top floor apartment with a janky elevator like here. Can’t have my pregnant fiancee struggling up five flights of stairs every day.”

He makes it seem so simple, really, as he pulls me in for what promised to be an extended cuddle session.

But maybe-- maybe it would be.

#nelwynp #sailor moon #senshi/shitennou #commission #M/N #fanfiction #fanfic

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bechloeislegit · 6 years ago

Text

25 Days of BeChloe Christmases

DAY 18 - SOMETHING THAT'S MINE

Prompt from Tumblr User freedomseeker91 and Ally: The backstory would be that Beca & Chloe met at a club Beca was DJing at, moved in together pretty soon after and they're about to spend their first Christmas together as a couple. Beca grew up in foster care system (Chloe is aware, but doesn't realize how bleak the situation actually was because Beca doesn't really talk about it).

I hope you enjoy what I did with it.

Beca Mitchell kept to herself. She learned early on in foster care that no one paid attention to you if you kept your mouth shut and stayed out of the way. So, she became a loner and liked it that way.

Don't get her wrong; she had friends. And they accepted her for who she was, flaws, faults, and all. Stacie and Fat Amy were her best friends; at least that's what they called themselves. They dragged her out to lunch or dinner all the time. They invited themselves to her place for pizza and movie nights, or just to hang out. Thanks to them, she wasn't as much a loner as she used to be.

Beca liked being around them, but Beca's favorite thing was spinning at the clubs. She started off in some dive that just wanted someone to change the CDs that the manager chose. She didn't make much money, but she started learning how to make mixes using those CDs.

One night, a customer in the bar heard one of her mixes and asked to talk to her. The next thing she knew she had a demo and was headlining at one of the hottest clubs in Atlanta. She was also pulling down some really good money.

Beca was happier than she ever thought possible after the life she had led. She could lose herself in her mixes and watch the people dancing to the sounds she created all from the safety of her little DJ booth. No one to bother her; no one to have to talk to, unless she wanted to.

Beca only came out of the booth during her set when Stacie or Amy made fools of themselves and she had no choice. On this particular night, Stacie dragged her out to meet her latest love interest.

Beca rolled her eyes as Stacie led her away from the booth.

"I need your help," Stacie said. "I want to ask Aubrey out and her friend is kind of in the way."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Just talk to her," Stacie said. "Keep her busy for a bit. She loves your music; talk to her about that."

"Fine," Beca said and Stacie led her over to a blonde and a redhead. Beca found herself staring at the redhead.

"Beca," Stacie said holding onto her arm so she couldn't get away. "This is Aubrey and her friend, Chloe. Aubrey, Chloe. This is my best friend, and the DJ, Beca Mitchell."

"Hi," Beca said looking away from Chloe and over to Aubrey.

"Hello," Aubrey said as she looked Beca up and down.

"Oh, my gosh," Chloe said. "You're the DJ? I love your mixes. How do you come up with them?"

Beca found herself again staring at Chloe. The woman was gorgeous. Beca doesn't think she's ever seen anyone with eyes so blue.

"Your eyes are so blue," Beca mumbled and then blushed. "Sorry."

"That's okay," Chloe said with a smile. "You're not wrong."

Stacie caught Beca's eye and jerked her head to get Beca to take Chloe somewhere else. Beca rolled her eyes and looked at the redhead again.

"Um, would you, uh," Beca said and looked around. "Would, um, you like to see the booth? Where I, uh, play my mixes?"

"Really?" Chloe's smile got even wider if that were possible. "I'd love to."

Beca led Chloe to the DJ booth where she spent the next hour showing Chloe how she did the mixes. Chloe was constantly smiling and being flirty with Beca. Beca was beginning to like the interaction between the two.

Later that night, when the club was closing Chloe found Beca before she left.

"I'd like to see you again," Chloe told her. "Would you want to go out with me sometime?"

"I'd like that," Beca said. "Let me, um, give you my number so you can call me when you want to go out."

"Give me your phone," Chloe said and held out her hand.

Without hesitation, Beca took out her phone and unlocked it. She handed it to Chloe who entered her contact information and then texted herself.

"Now you have my number and I have yours," Chloe said handing Beca's phone back to her. "I'll call you."

Chloe kissed Beca on the cheek and with a wave and a smile followed Aubrey out of the club.

"You got Chloe's number?" At Beca's nod, Stacie smiled and threw her arm around Beca's shoulders. "Aubrey said she never gives her number out when they go to clubs. You must have swept her off her feet."

"We both like music," Beca said with a shrug of her shoulders. "Oh, and she already asked me out."

"Way to go, Beca," Stacie said with a laugh. "I asked Aubrey out and she said yes. If you're nervous, maybe we can double."

"That might not be a bad idea," Beca said. "Do you think Aubrey and Chloe would go for it?"

"I'll call Aubrey tomorrow and find out," Stacie said. "Come on, you're my ride home."

"I thought Amy was your ride," Beca said.

"She left with some guy hours ago," Stacie said. "So, now you're my ride."

"Fine," Beca said. "Let's go."

~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~

Chloe called Beca for a date a few days after their initial meeting. Three months later they were laying in Beca's bed.

"I have to go," Chloe said as she sat up. "I have to be up early tomorrow to start looking for a new place."

"Why?" Beca sat up and looked at Chloe.

"My roommate's moving out and the rental agency is raising the rent," Chloe said. "I can't afford the place on my own. And with the rent increase, I'd barely be able to afford my share even if I could get another roommate."

Beca bit her bottom lip and swallowed. "So, um, move in here."

Chloe looked at her. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," Beca said. "Yeah, I'm totally serious. You spend almost every night here anyway. And I'd love for us to live together because I lo-." Beca's eyes widened at what she was about to say.

Chloe looked at Beca hopefully because she had been wanting to hear the words Beca almost said. She knows they haven't been together long and she has to take it slow with Beca, but she also knows that she is already head over heels in love with her.

A sudden calm came over Beca and a smile came to her face. A smile that reached her eyes and was rarely seen by anyone, even Chloe.

"Because I love you," Beca said and Chloe practically melted.

"Yes," Chloe squealed and hugged Beca. "I'll move in with you. And, I love you, too."

"Yeah?" Beca wasn't expecting Chloe to say it back.

"Yeah," Chloe said and leaned in to kiss Beca.

~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~

Chloe moved in three weeks later. Beca helped Chloe unpack and they were sitting together on Beca's small sofa.

"All my stuff is put away and this place still looks a little bare, Becs," Chloe said as she looked around the room.

"I'm not used to having a lot of stuff around," Beca said quietly.

"I'm sorry, babe," Chloe said and pulled Beca into a hug. "I didn't mean anything by it. I know you said you didn't have a lot while you were in foster care, but you never really talk about it."

"There's not much to talk about," Beca said as she pulled out of the hug. "It was shitty from day one and didn't get any better the older I got."

"You can talk about it with me," Chloe said softly. "You know I won't judge you. I love you and I want to know everything about you."

Beca didn't say anything and looked down at her hands in her lap. Chloe sighed and lifted Beca's head by her chin so she could look at her.

"Whenever you're ready to talk about it," Chloe said. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Beca wiped away a tear that had fallen and gave Chloe a smile. "So, what else do we need to make this place feel like home to you?"

Chloe smiled and they began talking about what they should get.

~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~

Thanksgiving with Chloe had been an experience for Beca. Beca was used to having her foster families arguing and fighting during Thanksgiving. Some of the families didn't want to spend the money on making a big Thanksgiving dinner so they would just have turkey sandwiches made from packaged deli slices and chips.

Beca didn't like turkey; at least the ones they did have in foster care. They were always dry and had no real flavor. Beca thought it was like eating cardboard.

Thanksgiving with Chloe had all their friends over who couldn't go home to family. Chloe called it "Friendsgiving" and made a turkey with all the trimmings. Beca changed her mind about liking turkey after eating the turkey Chloe made. It was moist and seasoned just right to let the natural turkey flavor through.

With her and Chloe, there were eight people around their semi-new dining room table. It was loud and chaotic and Beca was a bit out of her element. Along with the turkey, she had tried several dishes that she had never had before. She liked everything and it only made her feel sad about all that she had missed out on growing up in foster care.

Her sadness didn't last long. Chloe always had a way of putting a smile on her face and making her feel happy.

That night, as they lay in bed, Chloe had her head on Beca's shoulder as they cuddled together.

"Thanks for dinner," Beca said. "It is the best Thanksgiving I can remember."

"I'm glad," Chloe said and kissed her. "Hey, where do you keep your Chrismas decorations? In my family, it's tradition to start decorating the day after Thanksgiving. I have a few things and I thought we could combine them to make this a really special first Christmas together."

"I, um, I don't have any," Beca said softly. "I've never really celebrated Christmas."

Chloe sat up and stared at Beca. "Never?"

"Um, not really," Beca said. "The foster families were never big on giving us kids anything so it was just another day. And, now that I'm on my own, I don't have any family so it's still just another day."

"Well, I'm going to change that," Chloe said. "I am going to give you your first and best Christmas ever. I'll have my mom send me the rest of my Christmas stuff. I have more than enough," Chloe was starting to get more excited as she talked. "Oh, and we'll have to have a real tree. It makes the whole place smell like Christmas. This is going to be so exciting."

Beca laid there with a fake smile on her face as Chloe kept talking about all the decorations and traditions she and her family had. She didn't want to think about Christmas but couldn't deny Chloe, so she just smiled and agreed to everything.

~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~

It was three days before Christmas when Beca had come home. She had placed the grocery bags on the counter in the kitchen and went to the living room. She went over to the tree and sniffed. Chloe was right about how good the real tree made everything smell. She noticed that there were several wrapped packages under the tree. Beca looked at one or two and noticed that they were for some of Chloe's friends. Then Beca saw her name on one. She stood up and panicked a bit.

"Chloe got me a present?" Beca thought as she stood there looking down at the brightly wrapped box. "We never talked about presents. Oh, my God. I should have thought to get Chloe a present. I need to get Chloe a present."

Beca started breathing too fast and felt the walls suddenly closing in on her. She was panicking and didn't know what to do so she hurried out of the apartment. She rushed down the hall of the building and didn't stop until she was outside. Beca took several deep breaths to calm herself and started walking. Each step eased her breathing but did little to reduce the panic she was feeling.

Beca had been walking for about fifteen minutes when she heard the text notification ping on her phone. Knowing it was probably Chloe she stopped and pulled out her phone.

Chloe: Hey, babe, I just got home. Where are you? I thought we could make Christmas cookies together.

Beca ignored the text and instead placed a call. She started speaking as soon as it was answered.

"Hey, Stacie, are you home?"

"Yeah, Beca," Stacie said. "Are you okay?"

"Can I come over? I'm like five minutes away."

"Sure," Stacie said. "I'll see you in a few."

Beca ended the call and turned off her phone before putting it back in her pocket. Five minutes later Beca was sitting on Stacie's sofa with her head in her hands.

"What's going on, Beca? You're kind of scaring me."

Beca looked up at Stacie. "Chloe bought me a Christmas present."

"That bitch!" Stacie said and laughed at Beca. "Is that all?"

"Stacie," Beca whined. "I didn't get her anything. It never crossed my mind until I saw her present for me. I should get her something, too, right?"

"I'm sure she'd understand if you didn't," Stacie said.

"But, I want to," Beca said quickly. "I just have no idea how to go about doing it."

"Come on," Stacie said. "I'll go shopping with you and help you find something."

"You will?" Beca asked.

"Absolutely," Stacie said. "Let's go."

Beca followed Stacie out to her car.

"Beca, I know you had a shitty childhood," Stacie said as she drove. "And, I know you don't do Christmas because of it. Amy and I understand and that's why we didn't push you about presents and stuff. That's why we would do the same things we do all year, so it was no big deal. But, you are living with the human epitome of Christmas, so your life is going to change. You're going to have to change with it or possibly lose Chloe."

"I love her," Beca said. "But, the last real Christmas I remember was just before my parents died. I was only four and Child Services took me and put me in foster care. There were no Christmases after that. No holidays like you and Chloe had. There was barely a mention of birthdays except to remind you how many years you had left before you aged out. I don't know how to do Christmas!"

"Did you talk to Chloe about all this?"

"No," Beca said quietly.

"Talk to her," Stacie said. "You said she told you she was going to give you the best Christmas ever. Let her. I think you'll be surprised at how good you'll feel."

"I guess," Beca said.

They arrived at the mall and Beca followed Stacie. Stacie made suggestions and Beca finally decided on two things she thought Chloe would like.

"Is this enough?" Beca asked as they got back to Stacie's apartment.

"It's plenty," Stacie said. "Come on, I'll help you wrap them."

Stacie's phone rang as she handed Beca the wrapped gifts. She answered and looked at Beca.

"Oh, hey, Chloe," Stacie said.

"Hey, Stacie," Chloe said. "I'm sorry to bother you but have you heard from Beca? I tried texting and calling but she isn't answering. I'm started to get worried."

"Oh, sorry, that's my fault. We were hanging out and she must have turned her phone off. She's right here. Do you want to talk to her?"

Stacie held the phone toward Beca. "Hey, Chlo. Sorry, I turned my phone off. Is everything okay?"

"I was just worried about you," Chloe said. "I came home and saw the groceries sitting on the counter and you nowhere in sight."

"Oh, shoot, I forgot about those," Beca said. "I'll be home in about twenty minutes."

"Take your time," Chloe said. "Now that I know you're safe, I'm okay. I love you."

"I love you, too," Beca said and ended the call. Tears came to Beca's eyes. "She was, um, she was worried about me and just wanted to make sure I was safe."

"That's what people do for the ones they love," Stacie said with a smile.

Beca nodded as she grabbed the bag with Chloe's presents and walked to the door. She stopped and rushed over to Stacie and hugged her. "Thank you, Stacie."

Stacie was taken by surprise but smiled and hugged her back. "You're welcome."

Beca had been a bit apprehensive when she got home, but all Chloe did was kiss her and drag her into the kitchen. They spent the next couple of hours together baking Christmas cookies.

~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~

It was Christmas Eve, and Chloe was in the kitchen putting something together for a nice Christmas Eve dinner for the two of them. Beca snuck the two brightly wrapped gifts out and set them under the tree. She felt really good about them. Better than she did two days ago when Stacie had taken her shopping after she had called Stacie all freaked about the present she saw under the tree.

Beca could smell something really good coming from the kitchen and went to see if she could help Chloe with anything.

"Dinner's almost ready," Chloe said as Beca walked into the kitchen.

"Can I do anything?"

"You could set the table for us," Chloe said with a kiss to Beca's cheek.

"On it."

Beca set the table and added some candles to make it more romantic. Chloe brought out the food and they sat down to eat.

"It smells good," Beca said and she reached to place some salad on her plate.

"It's all seafood," Chloe said. "I was raised Catholic and we always followed the tradition of not having meat on Christmas Eve."

"Why?"

As they ate, Chloe explained about what the Italian Catholics called The Feast of the Seven Fishes. Chloe's great-great-grandmother was part Italian and the tradition was past down from generation to generation.

"And, now this will be our tradition, also," Chloe said as she finished the story.

After dinner, Beca helped Chloe clean up and get the dishes in the dishwasher. Chloe had suggested they make hot cocoa and watch Christmas movies. Another of her family's traditions on Christmas Eve.

"But, first," Chloe said. "Another tradition we have is that we each get to open one present tonight and leave the rest for tomorrow morning."

"Um, okay," Beca said.

"Wait here," Chloe said. "I have a special gift I want you to open."

Beca smiled and nodded. Chloe smiled and ran to their bedroom. Beca sat on the floor near the tree. She leaned back against the chair and waited for Chloe.

Chloe came hurrying back and sat next to Beca. She put the gift she had been carrying in front of Beca and reached under the tree for one of hers.

"Um, you go first," Beca told Chloe.

"Okay," Chloe said excitedly. "This is from my sister, Carrie."

Chloe tore open the package and pulled out a nice blouse.

"That's pretty," Beca said.

"I love it," Chloe said. "Carrie always buys me a nice blouse. She says I need to look good when I'm standing in front of my class." Chloe put the blouse back in the box and set it aside. "Your turn."

"Why aren't you in Tampa with your family for Christmas?" Beca blurted out.

"I told my mom that since this was our first Christmas together, I wanted it to be just you and me at home," Chloe said with a shrug. "So, they sent all our gifts here, and I sent what I got them from us to them."

"You put my name on the gifts you sent them?"

"Of course," Chloe said. "That's okay, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Beca said. "I just never thought of getting them anything. I never thought about getting anyone anything. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Chloe said. "Now, open your gift."

Beca got a weird feeling in her chest as she slowly tore the paper off the gift. She found a box and opened it. Inside was a heart-shaped ornament. Beca took it out of the box and held it in her hand.

Tears came to her eyes as she read Beca and Chloe's First Christmas - 2018.

"I had it made for you to commemorate our first Christmas together," Chloe said with a smile.

"I've never had something like this before," Beca said through her tears.

"You've never had a custom Christmas ornament before?"

Beca shook her head. "I've never had something that was just mine before."

Tears sprang to Chloe's eyes and her heart broke a little. She pulled Beca to her and held her as they both cried.

After a few minutes, Beca pulled back. "Can we put it on the tree now?"

"Of course," Chloe said and wiped Beca's cheeks with her hand. "Anywhere you want it."

Beca stood and helped Chloe up. She looked at the tree and placed the ornament at eye level in the front center of the tree.

Chloe smiled and said, "That's the perfect spot."

Beca sat back down on the floor and stared up at the ornament. More tears flowed as she thought about how Chloe had kept her promise of making this the best Christmas ever.

Chloe sat next to her and took Beca's hand in hers. She put her head on Beca's shoulder and was surprised when Beca started talking.

Chloe sat quietly for the next hour while Beca told her about what it was like for her growing up in foster care. Chloe interjected a question here and there as she wiped at the tears that fell as Beca spoke. Beca finally grew quiet and Chloe looked at her. She used her thumbs to wipe at the tears on Beca's face.

"You're wrong you know," Chloe said.

"Wrong about what?," Beca asked

"About never having something that was just yours," Chloe said. "You've had me and my heart practically from the moment we met. And it will always be yours and only yours."

Beca smiled as tears came to her eyes again. But this time, they were happy tears. "I love you. And for the record, my heart will always be yours, too."

Beca kissed Chloe and Chloe eagerly returned it. Beca pulled back with a small laugh and wiped her face.

"I seem to recall mention of hot cocoa and a movie," Beca said.

Chloe jumped up and Beca followed suit. "I'll start the cocoa, you pick out a movie."

"How about 'It's a Wonderful Life'?" Beca said with a grin. "Because that's exactly how I feel about my life right now."

"You're such a cheeseball," Chloe said and grabbed Beca for another kiss. "Don't ever change."

"Never," Beca said and eagerly kissed Chloe again.

Chloe pulled back and whispered, "Merry Christmas, Beca."

"Merry Christmas," Beca said. "And thank you for making it the merriest Christmas ever. I love you."

"I love you, too."

#bechloe fanfiction #beca mitchell #bechloe #chloe beale

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wp-yahoo-style-1042-yahoopa-blog · 7 years ago

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Here's why Mandy Moore is particularly obsessed with her mother-in-law this holiday season

Mandy Moore promoting Friendsgiving with the American Express Blue Cash Everyday Card on November 9, 2017, at the Eveleigh in Los Angeles. (Photo: ParkerPhoenix PR)

For the past few years, Mandy Moore has done away with the concept of a traditional Thanksgiving and has adopted more of a Friendsgiving approach to the holiday. “We’ve sort of bucked the tradition,” she tells Yahoo Lifestyle during an American Express Friendsgiving lunch at The Eveleigh in West Hollywood on Thursday afternoon.

“Family is there but it’s a lot of friends as well,” she says. “It’s a potluck and it’s casual and we all sort of sit around. It ebbs and flows. People come at the beginning of the celebration for a drink and leave and go have dinner somewhere else and come back and have pie again. It’s so much fun.”

While she’s got the being a guest thing down, the recently engaged star is taking a big chance with this year’s festivities. She’s not only co-hosting for the first time but is doing it at the home of her future in-laws. “My mother-in-law is going to be doing the brunt of the work,” she reveals. But the real plan, according to Moore, is to shadow her fiancé’s mom in the kitchen so that she can take over next Thanksgiving. “I feel like this is the possible entrée in hosting duties,” says Moore. “I told her, ‘next year you don’t have to worry about anything.’ I’ll give her a little leeway, a little time to digest that.”

The This is Us actress is very much looking forward to cooking alongside Mrs. Goldsmith. “She’s the best and I love her so much,” she tells us. As for the big day, Moore will likely be making her favorites. “I like to do some sort of Brussels sprout situation,” she reveals. “Last year I did a raw Brussels sprout salad that was pretty popular.” And since she’s gluten intolerant, the actress makes it a point to contribute to the dessert table. “I have this Paleo pumpkin pie that I’ve made the last couple of years that’s by one of my favorite food bloggers. It’s made with almond flour as a substitute and it’s excellent,” she says.

One friend who has yet to make the annual bash is Moore’s good pal Minka Kelly. And that’s okay with the 33-year-old, as she isn’t quite ready to battle it out in the kitchen. “I would definitely leave any and all cooking to her if she came,” Moore reveals, noting that she has often been a taste tester for her culinary school graduate friend and would sign on for that role again and again. “She’s an actual chef. She knows what she’s doing in the kitchen. I can follow a recipe but she has taken it to a whole other level.”

Moore and Goldsmith have yet to move into their new home but Moore admits that the original plan was to have Friendsgiving in their new kitchen. “I was so excited this year. I was full-on ready to do the turkey and take on all of the responsibility and now we are just barely missing getting into the house for the holidays,” she says. For now, however, the couple is enjoying the simplicity of eating out “a lot.”

Mandy Moore promoting Friendsgiving with the American Express Blue Cash Everyday Card on November 9, 2017 at the Eveleigh in Los Angeles. (Photo: ParkerPhoenix PR

But she’s happy to be stepping up her duties for this year’s soirée and plans to dress to impress for the upcoming occasion. “I feel like there is a less formal component to it but I think you want to still feel polished but elevated and comfortable,” she says, of her Friendsgiving style. “I think it’s a step up from my everyday attire of jeans and a T-shirt and a heel. I want to feel comfortable and relaxed and if I have to get my hands dirty, I can do that, but I still want to feel put together.” Her go-to look for the holiday is an easygoing long sleeve fall inspired dress. “That was my go-to the last couple of years,” says Moore. “And cute flats. So I can run around,” she says, noting that the home will be filled with dogs and babies and other adorable obstacles. “We’ll have our hands full!”