#the DC airport called me last night while I was asleep and I woke up like WHAT NOW

[goatsandgangsters]

JSTOR TOTE BAGS COMIN HOMEEEE!!!

[aperrywilliams]

A Normal Conversation Ch13 (Spencer Reid x Maxine Brenner)

Masterlist

Ch01 Ch02 Ch03 Ch04 Ch05 Ch06 Ch07 Ch08 Ch09 Ch10 Ch11 Ch12 Ch13 Ch14 Ch15 Ch16 Ch17

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Chapter 13: Mexico

Summary: Spencer tells Max details of his odyssey in Mexico and its consequences.

Word Count: 6877

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences. Angst, fluff and some smut “tendency”.

Warnings: References to violence, drugs, killing, sex.

A/N: I don’t know why this one was so longer. Hope you enjoy it.

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Next day Spencer's phone woke him up before scheduled. Penelope was calling. They had a case. Once at the BAU, Prentiss told everyone about this one. Their destination was Texas. They should started their fly in 30 minutes. Everyone grabbed their bags and headed to the jet. Sitting in one of the couches, Reid took his cell phone and sent a message to Max: “New case. Texas. I’m ready to leave. How did you sleep?". He got a reply half an hour after: “Hello handsome. Too bad you had to travel so early. I slept very well. Take care and tell me how everything is going”.

That night they was still at the police station where had settled to work on the case. Spencer felt his phone ring: Max was calling.

"Hey, you... how's it going?" Max said on other side of the line.

"Hey... slower than I expected. Not even doing an exhaustive geographic profile I’ve been able to reduce the search ratio…”. Max could feel frustration in his voice.

"Maybe you need to clear your head just a little. Have you come out there to breathe even for a moment today?” Max asked with concern.

"Not really... since we got here it has been a ‘coming and going’. I didn't even realized it's already night…” he said rubbing his neck.

“Fresh air could help… I don't know, try it”. Max said seeking to encourage him.

"Yeah, you're right, I've been on this for too long. I'll try to get out of here for a minute... now changing the subject, how are you?" Spencer asked as he went to a corner of the room to talk to Max.

"Good. Very good indeed!. I had a call from the Smithsonian today. I have an interview scheduled in two days” Max said excitedly.

"Max, that's great! Those are very good news” said Spencer sharing Max's enthusiasm.

"Yes. I know! But I'm so nervous and anxious…” Max admitted.

"Don't worry, everything will be ok. If I don't come back sooner you have to tell me everything about it” said Spencer.

"Sure I will!. Now I’ll let you work… if not your boss will be mad at me” Max said laughing.

"Thanks for calling. Tomorrow I’ll try to call you if we are still here” Spencer said with a sigh.

"Don’t worry handsome. Just keep telling me how everything is going. And remember to take breaks sometimes…” Max answered back.

"Yes, I’ll do it. Bye beauty” Spencer said.

"Bye" Max said before hanged up. Spencer put the cell phone in his blazer’s pocket. When he looked up, Emily was staring him with a smile.

"Max?". Spencer nodded. "How's it going everything between you two?" Prentiss asked.

"Good. Very good I must say…” said Spencer smiling and a little flushed.

“I’m glad. I like to see ‘that’ smile in your face Spence. I’m happy knowing everything goes good. Max looks like a fantastic woman” said Emily.

"She is, indeed...". Spencer stopped a second before knowing whether to continue speaking or not. "It’s... I don't know how to describe it. It's tough to find someone you feel so comfortable with so quickly…”

"It’s a good sign. Try not to rationalize it too much, ok?. Let your feelings speak and not your brain…” Prentiss suggested.

"And how can I do that?" Spencer asked laughing. Prentiss shook her head. “I think a break would be good for us. Do you want to go for a coffee? And I can explain you, genius boy, some things about relationships”.

Spencer nodded and both left the office. Once outside police station, they walked a few blocks to the nearest cafe. They got in and ordered two coffees to go. While they waited, Prentiss began her debrief.

"What particular issue complicates you about your relationship with Max?" Emily asked directly.

"I don’t know. I mean, I think we are at a moment where someone has to take next step… and I don't know if I should do it and what exactly should I do…” Spencer said clearly confused.

"And what would be this step according to you...?" Emily asked as they received their coffees and left the place. Spencer shrugged his shoulders. "But you must have some idea Spencer. I assume you both already kissed. I assume you both by now talked about things you like or not. I presume too you both already talked about sensitive issues in your lives. And I assume you both already slept together...". Spencer's face winced at the last thing Emily said. "Wait… what?, no sex yet?... Are you waiting for a meteor to fall on earth or something like that to do it?" Prentiss said raising her eyebrows and in reproachfully tone.

"No, no sex yet. But don't think 'that' is the only issue for me. We just decided to take things slow. And yes, I’m not going to lie: every day it’s been more difficult for me be faithful to my word, but it’s ok. Last night we had a dinner date and you would have seen her in that dress, I didn't know how to react. Well I had an idea but I didn't dare go further. But it’s ok. I thought it was not the right moment. Or maybe it was and I was so stupid enough to let it go. I don't want to be the one who always expects things to happen, but honestly in this case I’m too scared to take a chance and ruin it…” Spencer said with a hint of frustration in his voice. Then he took a sip of his steaming coffee.

“You're not going to screw it up Spencer. If Max thinks you are being awfully bold, although I doubt it, she’ll tell you. This are things can be discussed, it’s not just about reacting or not reacting. Testing waters is ok, boldness is ok. I don't think she’ll be mad if you are honest in what you feel and what you want"

"This will be easier if were talking about one-night stand…”. Spencer smirked and let out a sigh.

“That is why there’re people who prefer one-night stands before a relationship as such. Well, it’s a personal decision. But in this case, what do you want with Max? If your answer is physical contact and that's it,  it's okay. Otherwise, you’ll have to put more things on the balance” said Prentiss taking another sip of her coffee.

"No, I don't just want that. I want more than that” Spencer said convinced of his words.

"Then so those are the options you have to explore. And she has to know it too. Tell her” Emily said trying to encourage him.

"It sounds so easy in words..." Spencer said as they walked back to the police station.

"Hey!, I never said it was easy, I'm just saying it's the most honest thing you can do for yourself and for her" Prentiss said warming her hands with the coffee she was holding. Spencer nodded.

"Yeah, I know. Emily, I really want this to work” Reid replied.

"You'll have to dare then, and put your fears of rejection aside" Prentiss said, giving his shoulder a little squeeze. "Okay, tomorrow I'll hand you the bill of this lovers consulting. Now let's go back to catch our elusive son of a bitch” said Prentiss laughing. Both entered the police station to continue their work.

The case continued developing next day until after mid-afternoon they were capable to identify the unsub and his location. The entire team went to make the arrest since it was likely he has as hostage a potential new victim. Despite there was shotguns exchange, nobody resulted injured and arrest was carried out without major obstacles. Prentiss decided given the hour was a better idea to return DC next morning, so she dispatched the entire team to one of the local hotels so they stay the night.

After having dinner at the first floor hotel’s restaurant with the rest of the team, Spencer went to his room and prepared to go to bed. When he was ready to sleep, he called Max.

"Max?" Spencer said when she answered after the phone rang several times.

"Hey. Spencer… sorry, I was in the kitchen. I didn't hear the phone before. Still in Texas?” Max asked.

"Yes, but not for long. Tomorrow morning we’ll return to DC”

“Good news then. I hear you with fatigued voice. Will you be able to sleep tonight?”

“Yes, in fact, I’m in the hotel room right now. I expect to fall asleep as soon as possible. I just wanted to call you… to say goodnight” Spencer said.

"How cute you are Dr. Reid, had I told you that before?"

"Yes, you did. But I like it when you say it..." Spencer said smiling.

"You’re an entirely cute, adorable and... sexy man... you know?" said Max playfully and laughing.

"Ahh, just what I needed to hear..." Spencer said.

"Since when so snooty Dr. Reid?"

“I said it thinking on heard you laugh. Hearing you laugh was what I needed today before sleep” Spencer said in a soft voice.

"Don't keep saying those things or I'm going right now to the airport to take a flight to Texas" Max said in a warning tone. Spencer chuckled out loud.

"Hey, tomorrow we can see us again. By the way… what time is your interview?” Spencer asked, remembering what they had talking the previous day.

"At noon. The good news are I only have one class early morning so I have plenty of time to get there” said Max.

"Are you anxious…?" Spencer asked.

"To be honest, I’m panicking!" Max recognized.

"Stay calm. Everything will be perfect. Just be you and you’ll see everything will be fine” Spencer said trying to reassure her.

"Are you sure what you're saying? Being me?... I don't know if that'll really work" Max said laughing.

“They’re going to love you. Trust me” Spencer replied.

"Ok, ok. I'm going to do my best to relax myself. Even if I'm almost positive I won't sleep tonight” Max said.

"Well… despite I'm not the best person giving sleep advice, I can only tell you to at least try to rest..."

"I promise I’ll try. And... call me tomorrow when you're already in DC, we can meet in the afternoon if you can... and we can talk about how everything was"

"Right!. Of course, I’ll do it” said Spencer.

"Ok there. Now it’s time to hang up, you must be exhausted. Good night handsome” Max said as a goodbye.

"Good night beauty…". Spencer hang up, put the cellphone on the nightstand and covered himself with the bedspread. The flight would leave early. A few minutes passed and he managed to fall asleep.

Next day, Max at 11:50 was in one of the Smithsonian's offices waiting to be called to her interview. She was moving her hands nervously, biting her lower lip and bouncing one leg while she try to calm down. At that moment a woman appears through one of the doors and asks "Maxine Brenner?". Max gets up. The woman invites her to get in to the office and closes the door behind her.

Past 12:55 Max finished the interview. She said goodbye to the woman with whom was talking and go out into the hall where the front doors was. As she was going down the stairs noticed Spencer staring at her with one foot propped on the last step.

“Spencer! What are you doing here? I thought you’d call me when you'd arrive to DC…” Max said when she saw him. Reaching almost to the last rung without thinking she wrapped her arms around his neck. Reid quickly took her by the waist and stamped a kiss on her lips.

"I came to reach you. We arrived DC early and I have the rest of the day off. How was it?" Reid asked brushing her bit messy hair.

"The interview... was good... I think. Although the process continues. At least I’m very satisfied with all I said in there…” Max said with a shrug.

“They’re going to realize that you’re are the best for this position. You'll see” said Spencer winking and stamping a kiss on her lips again.

“Uhmm… I’m going to hire you as my personal trainer. You’re more effective than my head-hunter” Max said laughing. Spencer returned her an open smile.

"Lunch time? There’re very good places around here” said Spencer, holding her hand.

"Yeah, good idea. After that we can walk for a while. I think we both need fresh air and this day seems very favorable for it” said Max. Spencer nodded and they started walking.

They found a small restaurant not very crowded where to have lunch. While they were eating Spencer asked Max for details of the interview. She told him this round was with a first selection of 10 applicants, so later they should call her for a final interview if she make it to the shortlist.

Max also told Reid about what should do if she was picked: the development of special programs also required its be commanded by the professionals themselves and training the volunteers who worked in them. It was a full time job and required a lot of organization. As Max talk about the things she can do with the job, Spencer could see how her eyes sparkled with pure emotion. Reid wondered if was the same look he irradiated when he speaks fervently about his own work. Spencer thought probably it is.

With lunch finished Spencer and Max began to walk through the surrounding streets and headed into a park near the museum. At that time people were seen walking from their lunches back to their workplaces, just a few children playing and people walking their pets. They were both holding hands as they walked in a slow pace.

Max stopped Spencer in one of the park's water fountains where people spontaneously toss coins to make wishes. Some people like named it as Trevi’s Fountain from DC. It seemed strange to Spencer and he couldn't help but frown.

"Yes, I know what you’re thinking right now. But superstition is something we have always lived with and it’s happen around the world. We cannot ignore that” said Max.

"I know that. I also have my own superstitions... but I think this is an excess. I mean, it’s ok… this is a tradition in some parts of the world but I think trying to replicate it here just for vogue… doesn't seem… effective?… for me”. He tried to explain.

"What if it's a leap of faith? People might really believe their wishes could come true, regardless of whether it’s the fountain in the park or the bathtub in their home. I don't see how different it’s from the fantasy stories we ourselves tell to our kids when are child” said Max.

"Ok. Maybe I can believe in leaps of faith, but as such, I believe in those who are more spontaneous and not just for 'copying' a tradition from another part of the world" said Spencer scratching his chin.

"Yeah, this is not the most original thing in the world, I agree with you, but it still seems valid to me" Max replied. Spencer shrugged his shoulders.

"I suppose human beings are meant to find the necessary methods to clear the uncertainties of life... in the way they can do it"

"Talking about that methods… do you think that includes science itself?" Max asked curiously.

"Of course. I do. Above time I made the conclusion science is 'our' leap of faith to facts give us certainty and peace of mind to some extent”. Max looked Reid and waited a few seconds before talking again.

“Have you ever done something like that? I mean, have you ever taken a 'leap of faith' outside of the science system? Have you never wanted something so badly it doesn’t matter if it’s endorsed or not by the rules of scientific method? I’m talking about wanting something very much could so you make it happen”. Spencer thought for a moment before answered.

“Well… if you put it in that way… I don't know if exactly I did that before. You know I’m a man of science. But the closest thing to a 'leap of faith' I've had was when I was looking for a cure for my mom…”. Spencer said it not knowing if was best example but it was the most recent thing that came to his mind.

"What you did then ...?" Max asked.

"Well, I explored all the possibilities. After researching all science could offer, I began to evaluate 'experimental' possibilities. When those possibilities were running out, I was already determined to try anything…”

"That was what brought you to Mexico, right?" Max asked. Spencer nodded.

"Yeah. I couldn’t say if 'faith' made me do it... maybe was the idea I could do something about it, even if it was slightly outside science and the law... I thought if there was a chance I needed to try…”. Spencer said scratching the back of his neck again.

“And your mom agreed?"

"No, she never agreed. And I think there lies my first mistake. Trying to fix something beyond my power. Deep down, my man of science told me it was useless…”

"But you still made all those trips..." Max added.

"Yes. I believed doing those trips I could get the medicines I was convinced were working and the treatment could continue and thus see my mom improve…” Spencer said with a bitter smile.

"When you knew something was wrong?" Max asked. Spencer thought for a second before answering.

"I think was when I walked into that motel room. Being there was the most bizarre thing of all. After happened the irruption in the room, the hit of my body on the floor, the loss of consciousness. I’ve being drugged and when I realized it… it was too late. From there I only have half-filled spaces. I was filling them during the time I was in jail…” Reid stated with a frown.

"I still don't understand how they managed to deceive everyone into thinking you had done it .." Max said referring to the murder of Nadia Ramos. Spencer stared her and shrug. They had stopped walking in front of a bench. Spencer decided to sit down. Max did the same. Then Spencer began to speak.

“I didn't make it so difficult for them either. No one knew about my trips to Mexico. I didn't tell Emily or JJ because I knew inside of me it was crazy and I didn't want to involve anyone in it... in case something went wrong... although I hoped, of course, nothing would go wrong. At the end when they arrested me they were surprised like anyone else when they were notified”. Spencer said with a sigh. There was a small silence before Max spoke again.

"And being incarcerated...? How did you manage to stay sane...?" Max asked with some caution because she knew it was a complex topic. Spencer glanced her and couldn't help but make an awkward grimace.

"I didn't..." he said regretfully. He paused and continued speaking without taking his eyes off a stone placed in the grass. "Max… being there… I saw things I never thought I would see and I did things I didn't think I could ever do..." Max searched his gaze before speaking.

"Hey... it’s okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I get it…” Max said trying to get him off the topic. She realized it was something so alive in him, as if time still didn't heal the wound enough. She regretted having asked so many questions about that.

"No. I think I should do it... and not just like a way of relief for me, which is already pure egoism from me. It is also to keep me honest with you. I’ll not be very detailed on this… but I just think you deserve to know..."

"Ok. If it's what you want to do, it's ok. You can trust me” Max said taking his hand and holding it tight.

Spencer related how were the first weeks in prison. About the hierarchy between guards and inmates. The dominance of each ringleader, the privileges, the torture, the drug traffic. Reid told Max how he believed had a friend and finally ended up being his worst nightmare inside the prison. Spencer told her how he was forced to see how they stabbed and killed the only person who was kind to him at the time. He told her how he did alter the drug was imposed to him distribute inside the prison and how that almost cost lives of several inmates.

Reid told Max about the beatings, the way how he ensured to stay isolated in the last days and how witnessed directly how his mother was kidnapped in front of his eyes. When Spencer finished saw Max silently staring at him almost without blinking, but he couldn't tell if her face was one of fright, disappointment, or something else. Until she decided to speak.

"You needed to survive. I can't think of any other way to have done it…” Max said, rubbing Spencer's arm to try to comfort him.

"But do you realize I was willing to... killing people?. It was on my mind and it made me frantic. And it's not like I haven't done it before, I'm not going to lie about it. But I think it’s the first time I have questioned myself harder about taking someone else's life…”. Spencer said quietly but visibly affected.

"Spencer, they would have killed you if you stayed still... maybe you wouldn't be talking about this now" Max said trying to make Spencer seeing he had no choice.

"Probably. But is reason enough to have done what I did?...”. Max cut him off.

"Hey, stop! We are talking about your life Spencer. And although I could be sure you have probably despised your own life more than once putting yourself in danger for others… that moment the danger was there, in front of you... you were the victim”. Spencer glanced her in silence for a moment. Then he began to speak again.

"You know... I was so scared. For real. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, having to be alert all the time, but I thought many times that I wasn't going to get out of there and maybe... it would be better they kill me once. I thought about it so many times... I wanted it so many times...". Spencer's voice was nearly to break.

"Come here" said Max pull him to an embrace. “You chose the hard option. And you didn't do it just for yourself, you did it for your mom, for your friends, for those who left everything to help you get out of there” said Max. Spencer couldn't stop some tears from coming out of his eyes. Max rubbed his back holding him close.

"And all thanks to that bitch..." Max said trying to contain her anger.

"Another of Cat's 'gifts'" added Spencer, who had his chin resting on the top of Max head. "But it's no longer worth wasting words on her..."

"I know that. But look what she did to you. She made those beautiful eyes darker and gloomier…” Max said breaking the embrace and fixing her gaze on him, while with one of her thumbs dried some tears from Spencer’s face.

"But I still have beautiful eyes ... don't I?" Spencer said trying to joke.

"Of course you do. But when something makes you wander in those dark places you went through, that dark look returns and doesn’t allow anyone to know what you are thinking…”

"Maybe one day that look it will go away... or maybe it won't... do you think this will ever happen?". Spencer's question seemed almost rhetorical to himself but it came out of his mouth anyway.

"I know you’ll do your best to recover yourself... and ... I’ll also do my best to help you, of course, if you leave me..." said Max approaching to give him a kiss. Spencer took her cheeks and leaned in close enough for their lips to meet. It was a long, soft kiss. Max pulled away and took his hand again.

"Now look around you..." she said pointing to the location where they were. Spencer did it without understand why he had to. “You deserve to appreciate all of this, enjoy every second of your life. If you had let yourself die you wouldn’t have this opportunity. Everything around you is something you can be grateful for every day you wake up. Your mom, your job, your friends... you earned it Spencer, you deserve it and you deserve much more in this life. Don't let it go away through things you can do nothing about” said Max, squeezing his hand. Spencer said nothing, just nodded and returned a smile, also squeezing her hand in return.

Would Max be right? Reid thought good things were not meant for him and it was rare he could feel he 'deserved' better things in life. He was simply used to not having them. But here was this woman reassuring him to seek for something better, to leave the past as such and stop for a second to look at things he had and not the ones he had lost.

They were sitting on the bench, holding each other in silence, watching their surroundings. Max didn't want to say anything, she knew Spencer's brain was working 1000% of its capacity at the time. She conformed feeling him breathe more easier and feeling one of his hands caress her hair every so often. When he was ready, Spencer spoke again.

"Thank you..." he said, kissing the top of her head. For Max it was enough. His inner world had a constant battle of who knows how much more burden he had to bear. Perhaps this was the tip of the iceberg, but at least she believed behind all it there was a wonderful man who was worth any effort.

"Thank you… for trusting me. I know how difficult this can be, especially if you've been through so much…” Max said. Spencer nodded. He got up from the bench and offered his hand to Max.

"Shall we walk?... I think it's coffee time..." Spencer said with a small smile. Max nodded and took his hand to get up. They began to walk and stopped a few meters away in a coffee truck. They got two coffees and continued walking in silence for a while. Spencer started to speak in a moment.

"I don't know how this is going to sound like, but ... I think I need to tell you something..." Max glanced at him. They kept walking in slow pace.

"Tell me what...?" Max asked.

"Ok, uhm... I've thought about this for weeks. I know I shouldn't. I've already been told with enervation I shouldn't think about things so much... but I can't help it. I ... well, since the little time we have known each other, have felt very comfortable with you, and believe me this happens to me, to say, almost never. I know my social skills are limited, although I have improved them over time. As well as my confidence... I think. What I mean is I wish we could continue to make progress on this. And I wanted you to know, just in case my signals weren't clear enough. Sometimes I don't know if I’m very subtle for some things. And by moving forward I don't just mean getting the physical stage... although yes! I'm interested on it, a lot… really a lot… but it's not the only thing, I promise…”. Spencer paused for a moment. "I know, I'm already rambling again...". Max couldn't help but laugh. They both stopped walking and Max seek out his face.

"Hey, it’s not necessary say it. If you don't want to say anything, that's fine, you don't have to. And if it helps I have also thought, I don't know if as profusely as you... but I think my conclusion is same yours. I really like you Spencer and that's beyond knowing how wonderful you are as a person. I want to continue to know you and be part of your world, just as I would hope you wanted to be part of mine”. Max rose over her feet and searching his lips gave him a soft kiss. Spencer let out a sigh. They both smiled. After a few seconds of silence, Spencer spoke again.

"You are clearly much better at expressing these kind of things than me..." Max started laughing as Spencer took a sip of his coffee.

"I just want you to relax. We both deserve to enjoy ‘this’ and I would not feel comfortable knowing there are things complicating you or you don’t know how to tell me" said Max. Spencer nodded as they started walking again. After a silent moment walking, Spencer glanced Max.

"Max? Would you mind if we went to my place now? There is something I would like to show you” Max looked at him curiously.

"Now?" Max asked. Spencer nodded. "Okay. We can do that…".

"Perfect". Spencer, without hiding his smile, hold her hand again and they walked out of the park.

When they got to the apartment, Spencer pulled out his key, unlocked the handle, and opened the door.

"Please, come in..." He gestured for her to get in first.

“Wow. I haven't been here since…” Max said. Spencer interrupted her.

"That night…"

"Yeah... that night" said Max looking more closely the place.

"If you're uncomfortable just we can..." Spencer said thinking Max might not want to be there.

"No no no. You live here and if you can do it, me too. This time I’ll make sure to examine everything in exhaustive way” she said laughing.

"Okay. Can I bring you something?" Spencer asked.

"Water would be fine" said Max. As she began to look at the library spotted in one of the walls. "Now I can take a good look at these books... it is an impressive collection I must say..."

"Anyway, it's not as big as you thought it would be..." Spencer said as he handed her a glass of water.

"Right, I think you weren't really underestimating your library..." Max said laughing and taking sips of water. "What do we have here...?" she took an album that was on top of some shelves.

"Photos ..." Spencer said scratching his head.

"May I…?" Max asked before opening it, thinking that maybe Spencer didn't want me to see it.

"Yes, you can. But first I want you to see something else" Spencer's mysterious tone started to worry Max a bit. What was that sudden interest in dragging her into his place? What would he want to show her? When they were on the way, Max thought it was just an excuse to both of them be alone, but now she doubted the real reason for all this.

Spencer quickly made his way to the bedroom and started rummaging things in his travel bag. Max, sat on the sofa, could only hear the noise of things moving from one place to another, but without deciphering much more. When Spencer poked his head out of his bedroom he saw Max follow him with her eyes and visible curiosity.

"Come on, close your eyes. It's a surprise” said Spencer enthusiastic like a child.

"Are you kidding?". Max asked with more curiosity than ever.

"Nope. Come on, close your eyes!”. Reid instructed.

"Ok ... ok. Eyes closed” Max said, letting out a nervous laugh. Spencer reached over and placed a rectangular package perfectly wrapped on her lap.

"Ok. Now you can open your eyes". Max looked in her lap and saw the wrapped package.

"A gift Spencer? Why...?". Max was confused.

"Open it". Reid stood in front of Max as she tried to pull out the wrapper and find out what was hidden underneath it. She noticed it was a book, but still couldn't see the cover. When she managed to remove all the wrapper, her eyes widened and without realizing it, her face went from curiosity to amazement and ending in happiness.

"Spencer!, how the hell did you know...?"

"Let's say with some evidence I was able to collect from your apartment and from the things we've talked about, I thought you might like it..."

"If would like it me? I wanted it so badly since I found out it had been published!" Max said as she tentatively flipped through a few pages.

The book Max was holding in her hands was a publication by Kassia St. Clair called "Secret Lives Of Color" which delves into the history of more than 70 colors and tones historically used in painting. In Spencer's opinion, this book is a good combination of art, history and science.

"I didn't know if to give it to you now or wait... I didn’t know. But anyway when I saw it I thought of you and decided to buy it, although without a clear idea of when hand it to you. So… why not now?” Spencer said with a shrug. Without warning Max got up from the couch and caught Spencer in a warm hug.

"It's perfect!... thank you so much. You didn’t have to do it". Max rose to her feet and wrapped her arms around Reid's neck as she joined her lips to his. Spencer returned the kiss taking her by the waist and sticking her as close as possible to his body. He parted slightly just to speak.

"So you now know you have me thinking about you many times in the day..." he said in a soft voice and almost in a whisper. Max blushed a little.

"You flatter me Dr. Reid" Max said also whispering in his ear. Spencer smiled and with one of his hands began brushing Max's hair while his eyes were riveted on hers and on her face which was still lit with emotion. In his head he couldn't get the idea this small-bodied woman had him crazy, and every time he felt needed to be close to her, to feel her, to listen to her, to smell her. Was he getting crazy? Is what they call infatuation? Is it something else? Again his head returned to trigger thoughts and trace mental routes of what could happen. He forced himself to suspend those thoughts. Reid decided to focus on the happiness of seeing Max's smile. That was enough for him in that minute. After a few seconds contemplating her opened his mouth to speak.

"Do you still want to see the album? I can give you a brief tour of those old photos if you want..." said Reid smiling.

"Yes, I would love to". They both sat on the couch. Spencer handed her the album and she started leafing through it, while Spencer related the story of each of the photographs pasted in the book. Max was laughing at Spencer's childhood photos. She saw a picture of his young mom.

"Your mom? ... she's so beautiful ..." Max declared.

"She is, of course, she was younger on this one..." Spencer said looking at her mother's photo. “She is truly a wonderful woman… she has taught me a lot. Sure she would like you…”. Max smiled at the compliment.

"Surely you inherited that genius brain from her..." said Max. Reid laughed.

"And a few other things, for sure… like the stubbornness..." Spencer said looking at Max who was distracted for a second by the intensity with which Spencer's eyes stared her. Then she went back over the album.

"And this is you? How old were you here...?" Max asked pointing to another photo on that same page.

"About 7 years old. I was already in the middle of the school phase… the pissed face says it all…” Spencer said huffing.

"You look adorable... and this one?" Max said pointing to another photograph from the album.

“This is a recreation my mom did a time I tried to walk on the fence of my house… swinging with a broomstick. My mom told me a few years ago this mark on my arm was the result of my boldness… you will understand the result of that feat was not what I expected”. Spencer laughed as he showed Max his right arm and pointed a scar. Max smiled and without notice took his arm, brought it to her lips and pressed a long, soft kiss to his scar. The contact of her lips with his skin sent an electrifying sensation all over Spencer's body, who fixed his gaze on her eyes and smiled.

With the same arm he held Max's wrist. With his free hand he took her chin and moved close enough to feel her breathing, closing his eyes and began to kiss her. She answered this warm kiss putting her own hand on his. The kiss grew more intense and urgent as the seconds ticked by, and it made Max stop paying attention to the album, which Spencer, without opening his eyes or stopping kissing her, took and left on the coffee table. Max squeeze Spencer's shoulders as they continued to kiss. Max stepped back a bit so she could breathe.

"You're... very intense today..." she said as she fondled his hair and looked at him almost without blinking.

"Sorry. I can't help it with you" Spencer said throwing himself at her lips again. And so, lying on the couch they developed an extensive make out session. After another moment where they both needed to breathe, Max spoke again.

"You're making me difficult go home..." Max whispered.

"Maybe... you just could..." said Spencer sinking his mouth into Max's neck who voiced a moan.

"Could…what?" Max tried to ask.

"Could you stay... a little longer" Reid said trying to catch her lips again.

"Spencer..." Max said, letting out another groan as she played with his tie with one of her hands.

"Max... please, stay...". Not wanting to think too much about what he was doing, he dared to explore with his hands Max's back under her t-shirt. He could feel her bare skin with his fingers. The sensation made Max escaped a gasp. She thought about putting her will back together and declining Reid's obvious invitation, but her body was reacting completely in the opposite way. With her hands began to loosen Spencer's tie and play with the buttons on his shirt. If this was the moment, she wasn't going to back down this time. Spencer was already determined too. He had taken the plunge and none of them had declared second thoughts about it. He wanted to have her right now, right there.

The sound of Spencer's phone ended up burying anything could keep moving forward at this moment. Spencer snorted at the sound. "Sorry... so sorry, give me a second... it sure is nothing". He looked the caller ID saw it was Prentiss. He got up from the couch whining and answered the phone. "Hello. What is it?... now? Are you sure?... Ok. Okay. Yes, I know… I understand. I will arrive as soon as I can...”. Spencer hang up and stared Max with the biggest disappointed look she'd ever seen on him before. "We have a case". Max covered her mouth with one of her hands as starting a nervous laugh.

"Ok then... well, I think we should put this on hold for now..." Max said as she adjusted her clothes.

"I'm truly sorry…". Spencer sat back down on the couch to take Max's face and look her in the eye. "I hate having to leave this… like this ... I'm sorry I killed the mood ..." Reid said as he buried his face in Max’s shoulder.

“It’s ok  Spencer. Just I hate you because I will need take a cold shower when I get to my place” said Max joking. Spencer smiled. "Oh, and you should also notify ‘your friend’ he’ll have to wait" Max said pointing to his visible erection. Spencer blushed looking at his slacks.

"Yeah… I think my heart is still pumping too much blood to that place..." Spencer said with a shy smirk. Max got up from the couch to pick her belongings.

"I can take you to your place before I go to the BAU..." Spencer offered.

"No. It's okay. I’ll pick a taxi. Also you must hurry, it seemed something urgent. Just keep me posted, ok?” Spencer nodded.

Before leaving, Max approached Reid, lift up a bit and gave him a passionate kiss. When she pulled away from him, she whispered into his ear. “When we come back on this, trust me, it will be totally worth the wait. I will make it worth every second, so get ready handsome”. Spencer shuddered with Max’s words as he watched her disappear down the stairs.

“I’m going to kill you Emily…” he told himself adjusting his clothes, grabbing his blazer and going out the apartment.

——————–

[sigritandtheelves]

I know you just poste but... PLEASE MORE!!! (whenever you can, this not ment for pressuring you, this is to let you know i love simple and can't stop reading it)

💗

Simple

Chapter 8

Other Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven

M | 3.3k wds | pre-XF AU | MSR, Melissa/Samantha

A/N: There’s some uncustomary angst here, but nothing too heavy. The good news is, it feels like the story has an actual emotional arc now. 😂

_+_

Wednesday - Stanford

He didn’t call her on Monday, after her terrible day, or on Tuesday, when she really hoped he would. On Wednesday morning before her flight, she tried his apartment, but got only his machine. She left him a message.

“Hi, it’s me. I guess you’re not back yet from your case. My flight gets in in at 7:30 tonight, and they’re putting me up in a hotel downtown, the, um… Hotel Harrington. I guess it’s just around the corner from the Hoover building. Anyway, I hope the case is going well, and, ah… I’ll talk to you soon.”

She hung up and tried not to be disappointed. She reminded herself that he was busy, that he was saving people’s lives, that he could even be in a dangerous situation for all she knew. Dana would not be the jealous type: not of his job and not of his partner. She would do some reading on the plane and she would wear her good suit tomorrow, and she would make a strong impression at the FBI, even if Fox couldn’t be there. So she ignored the mild ache in her heart, the sense that everything was somehow turning sour. She wasn’t even sure why she worried. Because she couldn’t reach him? Because recruitment by the FBI seemed too good to be true? She didn’t believe in signs and omens. She wasn’t Melissa.

Dana double checked her light switches and plugs and gave her single, sickly plant a final splash of water. Suitcase in hand, Dana locked up and went down to meet her cab.

—

Friday - Baltimore

Melissa Scully returned home later than she’d wanted. There had been a difficult case involving a drug-addicted mother and disputed custody: a grandmother trying to keep two sweet-faced children fed and looked-after. As she hung her coat and scarf, pushing down the static of her hair and stepping out of her shoes, she noticed something different in the feel of the house. Its air seemed thicker, and not just with the warm smell of dinner. Then, voices from the kitchen: a visitor.

“Sam?”

The voices quieted and Sam called out, “I’m here.”

There were two familiar bags beside the stairs, but she was still surprised to see Dana perched on a stool, slump-shouldered and tired-eyed. “Hi Missy,” she said.

Melissa felt her mouth drop open. “Dana? Oh my god, are you okay? What are you doing here?”

Dana tried to smile, but her lips trembled, and Missy quickly enveloped her sister in a hug. Dana melted bonelessly into the embrace and breathed in deep. So much fear, she sensed. And an angry wad of shame, balling itself up inside of her. Something must have happened.

Over Dana’s head, Melissa looked to Samantha. What is it? she mouthed, but Sam just made a face that said, I don’t know.

“Day,” she said again. “What’s up?”

Dana shook her head, red hair turning to fuzz against Melissa’s shoulder, words muffled into her sweater. “I took the train from DC. It was stupid. I shouldn’t have changed the ticket, but I thought he’d be there.”

“Who, Fox?”

A nod.

Missy looked again to Samantha, who shrugged and then waved her hands at the sisters, shooing them out of the kitchen to talk in private. Melissa tugged on her sister’s arm. “Come on,” she said. “Couch.”

Dana refused to cry while the whole story came out: Daniel (a name she hadn’t known before this) first spying on them during Fox’s surprise visit, and then confronting her with threats and accusations; her recruitment by the FBI; her fear about their father’s reaction; and finally Fox, promising to be here, or at least to call, but then leaving on a case and not returning her messages for days.

“I know it’s not his fault,” she said. “I shouldn’t have changed the ticket without talking to him, but I would have hated to not change it and have wasted the opportunity for time together.”

“You mean your plane ticket?”

“Yeah,” Dana said. “I’m flying back Sunday.” She looked up at Melissa, eyes wide and blue and sorry. “Can I stay here until then? I don’t want to have to explain to mom and dad.”

Melissa sighed and drooped an arm around her little sister. “Of course,” she said. “But you know you’ll have to tell them soon, right? I mean, did the recruitment go well?”

Dana nodded. “It did. It’s actually really exciting. Scary, but in a good way.”

A little squeeze around the shoulders. “Then let’s be excited. Let’s have a beer and some dinner and I’ll read your cards and then we can watch sad movies, hmm? A cry always helps. You can sleep ’til noon tomorrow.”

Dana laughed and nodded and they went back to the kitchen where Sam was hanging up the phone, a little too quickly.

“Who was that?” Melissa asked, eyes narrowed with a skepticism all the Scullys could do.

“No one,” she said, again too quickly, and began handing them plates piled with vegetables and rice and tofu.

—

Saturday - Alexandria

It was a short flight, but it had been a long week, when Fox Mulder finally unlocked the door to his apartment and dropped his bags on the floor at just after nine in the morning. He’d returned with more questions than answers, and a dead suspect, but the case was by all outward appearances (and filed paperwork), closed. Most of the answers he wanted would require military information, but all inquiries in that direction had been shut down right quick. Fox wiped a hand over his face and went to start a pot of coffee: the dinky cup on the plane had done little to relieve his week-long headache. Good work it may have been, but the non-answers at the end of walking in circles didn’t leave him with much sense of closure. The worst was that Diana had set up long hours of stake-outs throughout the first half of the week, and by the time he’d gotten to a phone with his calling card, he got no answer at Dana’s apartment. He’d missed her before she left, and he didn’t know where she was staying to call her once she got here.

While the coffee pot dripped, he went to his answering machine where the number 6 was flashing at him in anxiety-inducing red. First was a call from his landlord, reminding him about some work on the smoke detectors. Then one from Dana, letting him know about her flight and her hotel—he grabbed a pen and paper to take down the name, but then realized it was Saturday and that he’d probably already missed her. “Shit,” he said. Then her voice came back in a second message from early yesterday morning:

“Hi again. I’m sorry to bug you. Just an update: I’m touring Quantico and the labs this morning and then I was supposed to have an afternoon flight home, but…” There was a brief pause, and her voice was a bit cooler when it returned. “I’ll be checked out of the hotel in a few minutes. I’m sorry I missed you.” And then a quick click and the message was over. But what? He thought. “Goddamnit,” he murmured. He had fucked this one up good. She’d been here, just minutes away from where he now stood, and then at the same airport he’d flown into less than an hour ago. But they’d missed each other like ships in the night.

Two more messages played, first a hang-up, and then an automated call offering new long-distance pricing. He took a deep breath and started to do the math on when he could reasonably make a call to California, when his sister’s voice emerged from the machine in its final message:

“Fox, you dope. Your girl is here and she looks pretty fucking sad. What did you do? She flies home late Sunday morning. Don’t be an idiot,” and then the click of the receiver as Sam hung up in a hurry.

A smile spread out over his face as his heartbeat caught up to his mind’s realization. He hadn’t missed her. She’d just gone to Baltimore (and not told him). He could be there before noon. Fox barely waited for the machine to stop dripping before he sloshed some coffee into a travel mug, grabbed his keys, and ignored his still-packed bags on his way out the door. He thought maybe he could still salvage this mess of a week.

—

Saturday traffic in February wasn’t bad, but he may have committed a few minor misdemeanors on his way. He pulled up in front of his sister’s house at 11:48, swallowing the last of his now-lukewarm coffee. He thought for a moment, popped a mint into his mouth, then hurried for the front door. He was going to scoop Dana up, take her back to his place (six hours of travel today be damned) and make love to her until they both fell asleep from exhaustion. When they woke, he would feed her (preferably by hand, preferably naked) and listen to every single minute of her life over the past week.

“Oh hey,” Samantha said as she opened the door, looking smug. “Got my message?”

“I did,” he said. “Is she here?”

Sam stepped back to let him enter. “Mmhmm. Couch.” He was already walking toward the living room, but Samantha caught his arm before he could plow past her. Her eyes were brown and serious. “She’s had a week, Fox. Be gentle, okay?”

He frowned at that, a little confused. “Okay,” he said, wondering if the recruitment hadn’t gone well, if some jackass had said something to her. God knew there were enough sexist pricks at the FBI.

In the living room, Dana was curled around a throw pillow on the couch, eyes glued to the TV, freckled and beautiful and still in pajamas. Fox stood awkwardly a moment in the doorway before she caught sight of him and her eyes went wide.

“Oh my gosh,” she said, pushing herself up to sit.

He smiled, letting the warmth of her proximity wash over him. “Hey you.”

“You came back. I thought… How’d you know I was here?”

He pulled off his coat and tossed it over the back of a chair. “Sam left me a message. Mind if I sit?”

She shook her head and shifted to make room. He lowered himself beside her and hooked his index finger over her pinky, gave it a little tug. Something seemed off, he noticed. She seemed… hesitant, a little less excited than he’d hoped. He thought of Sam’s warning: be gentle.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a moment of her fiddling with his fingers with her left hand: rubbing them, staring down as if she were nervous.

“For what?”

He tugged again at her hand, trying to get her to look at him. “For missing your calls.”

Dana shrugged and moved her eyes to the coffee table, to the remains of her breakfast cereal and a worn paperback. “You were working, it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have… anyway, it doesn’t matter. How was your case?”

“Frustrating. Too long. Hey.” With that, she finally looked at him, and he could swear she looked afraid. Fox raised his hand to her cheek and was relieved when she leaned into it. “Tell me about you.” He leaned in and touched his nose to hers. She smiled, just a little twitch of her lips, and it warmed his hopes. He braved a kiss, and she responded with a gentle pressure of her own lips. There she was. “Hello,” he said with another little kiss. “I missed you,” he murmured, and he let his fingers toy at the hem of her top. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

“Hi,” she said. “I missed you, too. And it’s okay.”

“Were you sufficiently wooed by the FBI?”

Dana smiled again. “I think so. I toured the Hoover Building first. Very impressive. Many important men in suits.”

“Hmm, yes.”

“And then the labs at Quantico.”

“And?”

“Amazing.”

“They let you slice up any dead bodies?”

Dana sighed, in mock regret. “Unfortunately no. I brought my own scalpel and everything, but I guess they want me to go through training first.”

Fox laughed and tugged her into his arms. She fell heavily against his chest with an “oomph” and a little laugh. He squeezed her tight, relieved at the warmth of her, here and solid and his. “And you will, you think? Go through training?”

She leaned her head back to look at him, and though she smiled, there was some distant and foggy look in her eyes. “Yeah,” she said.

—

The sight of him in the doorway should have overwhelmed her with joy, as it had three weeks ago when she’d found him waiting for her. But it was as if the earth had undergone a tectonic shift, or a tilt in its axis, that changed their orientations toward one another. Or hers toward him. She wasn’t sure. The feel of his palm on her cheek still set beating the small wings of her heart, but it was with anxiety now, as well as excitement. His lips on hers still felt exactly, perfectly right. And yet, she was afraid. Seeing FBI Headquarters, imagining herself there, stiff-backed and strong under the daily onslaught of authoritative men and their rigid expectations, was a thing difficult enough. Imagining him there, too, as one of those wielders of authority,  who could sway the opinion of those who judged her… He could touch her in a hallway out of only affection and accidentally ruin her.

(Are you fucking him to get a place there?)

Daniel’s voice was a poison in her memory that she tried to shove away. But her recruitment by the FBI changed them, she realized. It gave Fox a kind of power over her she hadn’t considered at first, even if he would never use it. She would be, once again, sleeping with a colleague, and that recent burn still stung. Now, as she rested her head against his chest and felt his arms around her back, she wondered once again if she’d been too hasty with her affection. Take a step back, Dana. Armor yourself.

They both said goodbye to Melissa and Sam. She thanked them for the cozy room and dinner, and let Fox bring her back to his apartment. She was quiet on the ride, listening to him unravel the details of his case. She tried her best to offer words that didn’t want to come.

When they pulled up at his apartment building, Dana felt the tingle of nerves again, all the way into her fingers. She tried to carry her own bags, but he waved her away from the trunk. She bit her lip, surprised by her own irritation. This small gesture, meant with affection, now felt weighted down with assumptions and misguided chivalry. Inside, he juggled the bags and his keys to unlock the door. His apartment was much larger than hers, but a bit dim, even with the lights on. Well-decorated, though. Her lips twitched up at the sight of his fish tank. Fox nearly tripped over his own bags on the way in, then carried them all, waddling awkwardly, into his bedroom. When he came back, he stopped and stood before her, watching her watch him there in his foyer, still in her coat.

“I won’t bite,” he said after a moment, a little sheepish. “Mi casa, and all of that.”

She tried to smile, and tugged off her coat, hung it on the coat rack.

“Dana,” he said while she fiddled with the pockets and straightened the fabric. Slowly, she turned, and the worry on his face hurt her heart. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “I’m okay.”

“You’re not okay. Sam said you had a week. Will you tell me?”

Dana closed her eyes and breathed. Telling him would mean explaining the situation with Daniel, the whole situation. And what would he think of her then? Fox stepped closer, and his fingers brushed her elbow.

No, she thought. She wouldn’t break in front of him. She wouldn’t cry and tell him about her mean ex and beg his comfort and let herself be held, she who had stupidly thought he might rush back to see her. He couldn’t want this much complication, not so soon, and she suddenly couldn’t imagine letting herself seem so weak in front of him. So she swallowed and put what she hoped was a smile on her face. “Work stuff was stressful, that’s all. Because I had to take the three days off.” She tucked hair behind her ear and tried that smile again, but she could see that he didn’t quite buy it. It wasn’t a lie, she thought, not exactly—the trip had set off some trouble… which had unfolded at work. “And I’m not great at flying,” she added. “Cross-country trips stress me out a bit.”

Fox nodded, lower lip tucked between his teeth. “Okay,” he said, and ushered her into his living room with his hand on her back. His fish tank burbled and his couch was green. She sat down on it and looked out over his desk through the window. “Should I order us some lunch? I don’t have much here.”

“Okay,” she said, not looking back from the window. “That sounds good.”

So they ate in unfamiliar awkwardness, their noodles and egg-drop soup and chicken, and Dana felt she had maybe ruined everything. Here was this man who seemed to genuinely like who she was, not who she might be or who he wanted her to be, and she would either ruin it all with her neediness or push him away with her coldness. Dana swallowed a lump of baby corn that felt like a brick in her esophagus, knowing suddenly that she had done wrong. She had loved too much too soon at a time when she was too unsettled. Now, she was sure, they would suffer for it.

They spent the afternoon watching TV, and she clung to him wide-eyed, face against the warm cotton of his shirt, while he kissed her head and she convinced herself this might be the last time they shared this kind of quiet comfort. He hummed pleasantly against her scalp while she fought back tears he never saw. They took a walk to a small park down the street, and she twined her fingers around his like they were a lifeline, like they could save her from ruining this.

Shouts echoed on the playground until clouds purpled the sky. Children on skateboards and bikes wheeled home to their dinners, and soon she and Fox turned back, too. When it grew late, they swallowed leftovers and she curled into his bed in the dark. His fingers found her. His words poured into her ear: Dana, you feel so good, while skimmed his heavy palms over her body and she pressed her flesh to his. He slipped her panties down, and god she wanted him to, more than anything. She was glad of the dark that hid the depth of her love and sadness: the crease in her forehead, the wobble of her lips. She moaned into his clavicle, arched against his fingers, spread her legs and accepted him inside of her, all while thinking she could not keep him.

At the airport, she managed not to cry, and if he mistook the shine of her eyes for the sadness of temporary partings, she did not correct him. Again, she wanted to tell him she loved him, but hadn’t the courage. He palmed her cheek and kissed her lips in that way he had, like he was holding a secret. “Call me when you get in,” he whispered. And though she nodded (feeling ripped open, feeling hollowed out, feeling like she’d stepped on something beautiful in her clumsiness and broken it), she did not.

— end chapter eight —

Go to Chapter 9

[numeronubisexualhawkeye]

And Dream Of Sheep

1501 words

sequel to Let Me Be Weak 

When they got back to the hotel room, Natasha tried to rack her brain for what her plan had been for when she got Clint to come back with her. In all honesty, there hadn’t been much of a plan in the first place. She hadn’t told anybody but Rhodey that she was coming here in the first place, and that was only because he knew that her days of radio silence after he told her of Clint’s actions in Mexico knew that she was sitting on a plan.

“You don’t have to do this you know,” Rhodey had said, “If he wanted to come back, he would have already.”

Natasha had shook her head. “I know what it’s like to go down that path. To just feel, to feel lost, and angry. He needs someone to pull him out, and I’m the only person he’ll listen to.”

Rhodey hadn’t protested after that. Just wished her well, and offered to pay for her plane ticket and hotel. She had declined, just because the world’s economy was at a stand still didn’t mean she was strapped for cash.

Clint standing in the overly plush hotel room made him look like a prop out of place on a period drama set. He was soaked from head to toe in rain, his hair was a mess, and he smelled. She hoped that his appearance was a side effect of travelling constantly and not anything mental.

“There’s fresh towels in the bathroom. I brought my own body wash if you don’t wanna use the hotel soap.” Natasha said, sitting on the edge of the bed. She was trying to make herself look as non threatening as possible. They hadn’t seen each other for more than a couple of hours since he was arrested for going against the Sokovia Accords. When he took his plea and returned back to the farm, Natasha had gone to see him, but there was already a thorn between them that wouldn’t heal easily. That and the fact that he wasn’t supposed to be in contact with any current acting Avengers or anyone else that Steve had broken out of jail. It had been a bitter couple of weeks after she had left him, but she buried herself back in work, travelling with Steve, trying to right yet another wrong in the world.

“Thanks.” was all he said. He went into the bathroom and when the door closed, Natasha let out a sigh. She laid down on her back, listening to the shower running. She hoped that he still sung in the shower like he used to in the apartment they had together in DC, back when Shield was still there giving steady paychecks, they could take time off, and were easy.

Out of all the things Thanos and the accords had taken from her, she missed how easy things had been between she and Clint. When Clint built the farm, it was a sign to her that they could actually leave someday and live in that ease that flowed so smoothly between them for the rest of their lives. She hoped that that would still be a possibility for them when it was all said and done.

She got up off the bed and to her suitcase to change into her pajamas. She had booked a double room, and was starting to regret it. That selfishness crept back up again. She hoped that he wouldn’t want to sleep away from her. All these years apart, but he had come with her so easily. True, he hadn’t come home after the snap, but that had to be good for something. It wouldn’t make sense to her if he had only come back to fight with them. He had made it pretty clear that once his probation was up, he was out, for good this time. Whether Natasha would join him or not wasn’t a conversation that had been given the chance to have. But all that time he had spent alone, all those nights she had gone to bed without him there, but constantly on her mind, she missed him more than she could put into words. Surely he ha to feel the same. He had to have at least missed waking up next to someone.

The bathroom door opened, and Clint stepped out wrapped in a towel at the waist, Natasha stood in the middle of the room in her sleep shirt and shorts. “You wouldn’t have happened to pack anything in my size, would you?” he asked. He was being serious, but that jovial tone that he always managed to have about him no matter if they were taking out human traffickers in Berlin, or wrapped in each other’s arms while watching Chicago.

“Uh, no. But I’m pretty sure this place has a laundromat downstairs. I can send em down if you want.” Natasha said, already walking to pick up the phone and call room service.

Clint hadn’t answered, just walked to the furthest from the window and leaned back against the pillows, his eyes already drifting shut. How long had it been since he got a proper night’s sleep? The last time he had slept somewhere this comfortable? Being a murderous vigilante surely didn’t pay well enough to afford a place like this.

A room attendant came by and picked up Clint’s clothes, and by then he had already rolled onto his side, breathing deeply as he fell asleep. Natasha had hoped for more out of their reunion, but they would have more time later. Back on the farm where they wouldn’t have to worry about work, or saving the next country or planet from batshit warlords.

At some point in the night, she heard him stirring. He had never been a heavy sleeper, but the room and the city outside was silent. Natasha turned on the lamp on her nightstand and saw him turning in his sleep.

“Clint.” she whispered, slowly getting out of bed. “Clint. Can you hear me?” She walked over to him, gently laying her hands on him to keep him still. She tried to ignore the shock that went through her at touching his bare skin again, but fuck it felt good.

He was hot all over, and for a moment she feared he had caught a fever from the rain, but his body was slick with sweat. “Clint, just listen for my voice, okay?” she instructed, rubbing her hand back and forth gently across his arm. “It’s okay. You’re safe. No one can hurt you here.” Gradually, he stilled again. “Good, good.” Natasha said.

When he had calmed down, he opened his eyes and met her gaze. “Natasha.” he said softly.

“You were having a nightmare.” she explained. “It’s okay though. You’re fine. Go back to sleep.” she started to walk back to her side of the room, but Clint reached out for her hand and took it.

“Stay with me. Please.”

Natasha was facing away from him, and for a moment she almost let go. There was time for this later. This was strictly for work she tried telling herself. It was pointless though. Five years, five long fucking years, and she had him again. Work and her rational feelings aside, she needed him and he needed her.

She nodded and crawled into bed beside him. He was naked underneath the covers as he had kicked the towel off some point in the night, but she wrapped herself around him anyway. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t seen each other naked, and done much more together before.

She laced her fingers around the back of his neck and ran her fingers through his hair. They sat in silence for what felt like ages. Her arms wrapped around him, their legs intertwined, faces mere centimeters apart. She didn’t know who leaned forward first, but at some point they were kissing. It didn’t lead anywhere, but  the feel of her body against his, her mouth on his, felt better than any kind of intimate reunion she could have imagined.

The wake-up call Natasha had scheduled the day before came at the same time the room attendant did with Clint’s clothes. She woke him up and packed what few things she had taken out of her suitcase. The cab to the airport was short, and the plane ride back to the Avengers HQ felt even shorter. After that night, she didn’t want to return to the madness of trying to save the world again. She wanted to stay suspended in the air for as long as possible, dreaming that this was just another routine mission, their last one maybe, before retiring to the farm like they had agreed to. But the plane landed, Rhodey picked them up from the airport, and the world still needed saving. But G-d, what she wouldn’t have given to have another night in that hotel room, away from it all, and think of a million ways to try again.

[lccstudyabroadspring2019-blog]

Flying for the first time.

I am a fairly sheltered person. All of my family lives in the same town so I have never needed to travel much. That being said, I have never been on a plane before. One would think I would choose for my first plane ride to be a closer distance, but I decided to go big. My particular trip involved three connecting flights. My first flight was from LAX to Washington DC, a four-hour trip in economy class and I was lucky enough to be in the middle seat. Thankfully though I decided to pay the extra fee to get extra legroom which made the trip much better though nothing could have made it comfortable. Leaving LAX at 1:00 PM, and got to DC at 8:40 PM where I had a 20-hour layover. Rather than suffer in the airport until my next flight I decided to stay in a hotel, which I highly recommend. Trust me when I say, you want to get a good nights sleep when you have an 8-hour flight the next day. Check out was at noon, and my next flight was not until 5:00 PM. I spent the free time walking around the airport playing Pokemon Go and Snapchatting my friends and family. I charged my phone, tablet, and iPod to make sure I’d have plenty of battery time to keep me occupied for the trip. Note of advice, always check that all connecting flights have similar baggage rules. While my first flight allowed one checked item, one personal item, and one overhead item, my second flight only allowed one checked item and one personal item. I paid $120 in order to bring my extra bag. I was pretty lucky in my placing for this flight, I was on the aisle seat and the person next to me was a small child who was very well behaved. I did not sleep at all for this trip, the person in front of me reclined the entire trip so I was unable to use my small table that folds down from the seat in front. I was very happy when I arrived in Copenhagen at  12:00 PM. With only an hour and a half layover, I charged my phone and spoke with my friends back home. Finally, I bored my last flight to Palanga Lithuania. The flight was short, only an hour and I slept most of it. There were only 12 passengers on the flight so they let us sit where ever we wanted, I had a whole row to myself. When I arrived in Palanga it did not take long to get my bags. LCC set up for a driver to pick me up and drive me the 30 minutes to the campus which I appreciated greatly. The drive to campus, I completely forgot about my exhaustion, I was in awe, though there was not much to see other than trees. The fact that I was in another country was amazing and I did not want to miss a thing. As soon as I arrived at campus, the person I had been in contact with met me and we went up to my dorm, the place I would call home for the next four months. We did check in, I received some pots and other cooking tools that I was leased for my stay. It was about 3:00 PM when I was finally left in the dorm alone. I set up the bed linens they had lent me and I fell asleep. I woke to the sound of someone unlocking the dorm door before I could say anything I see the retreating form head down the hall. I was half asleep and very confused. Soon enough the person returned. It was one of my roommates. She introduced herself and asked if I would mind switching beds because one of our other roommate usually used the one the recruiter told me to set up. I did not mind and since the new roommate would not be coming to the dorms until after orientation I did not have to move right away. I was still very tired and had only slept for about an hour, so as much as I wanted to get to know my new roommate, I fell asleep again and did not wake up until 6:00 AM the next morning. I saw that my roommate was still asleep, so as quietly as I could, I got dressed and walked to a grocery store that was not too far from campus to get some food for the day. It was an experience. I had no idea what anything was and was still pretty tired. I got a pastry that I did not know what it was but later came to learn it is kremimu sūriu ir aštriaisiais pipirais, a pastry with cream cheese and spicy peppers. It was delicious. I got some fruit as well for the rest of the day since the next day we were heading to Vilnius to get the rest of the study abroad students and start our orientation week. I did not mind my flights, there were not comfortable that is for sure but I know they could have been worse. I was just glad I arrived safe and could start a new chapter in my life. 

[rejects-mania]

From Pepper, With Love

Well, it’s been a minute hasn’t it? About four years? I think it’s safe to say that a lot has happened, not all of it good. So buckle in because as usual I’ve got a story to tell.

I’m 33 now. Hard to believe I’ve actually survived this long honestly. But here we are, alive, surviving, and most importantly living a very simple life now. No frills or crazy adventures, and that’s ok. Actually its exactly what I never knew I always wanted.

I haven’t seen the Rejects since that last show with Sayre. I haven’t picked up the records or listened to their music in years. I’ll get into why in a second. However, today, today was different. Today I listened to their music on my drive to work. Those haunting first cords of Another Heart Calls washed over me as I’d always remembered them and brought with them a chill of a past story that never got told. I’ve tried to write it before but couldn’t find the words, but today I feel like it needs to be told.

I hadn’t talked to Merch Mike in a couple years. Not since his last shows with the guys. I was married, miserable, and truth be told somewhere a long the way following the Rejects had become less about the Rejects and more about their merch guy. Truth? I’d fallen in love with Merch Mike. Take it how you will, but it happened, it was one sided, I was young, and I’m not ashamed.

Anyway, I found out Merch Mike was going out on the Cher tour which was starting in Albany. I was elated. I hadn’t seen him in two years, I still had the same feelings and so I reached out and asked if we could go for a drink. He actually responded, a big surprise to me honestly. Turns out Albany was the start of the tour so he was going to be there for a few days and could actually use a hand taking inventory. I jumped at the chance and offered to pick him up at the airport.

I’ll never forget that day. I showed up at the airport and stood anxiously waited for him to get off the plane and walk to the greetingg area. My heart stopped when I saw him. Same old Merch Mike. That big smile, those shining green eyes, the same man I had remembered. I don’t think I’ve ever hugged a person so tight. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed him or how much I still cared about him. As we walked down to baggage claim we began to chat.

“So how’ve ya been?” I asked casually mostly expecting to hear stories about his kids.

“Getting divorced, actually.” He replied. My heart practically left my chest. I’ve never felt anything quite like that before in my life. It was as if suddenly this person who I never in a million years would ever have even a glimmer of hope to be with was standing there telling me there was hope. There was hope.

We spend days together, mostly on the back of a truck going through tons of Cher merchandise, and talking. So much talking. The talking didn’t end at the truck, it carried to his hotel room. God, I have never wanted to fuck a man so badly in all my life. You. Have. No. Idea. But nothing happened. We just laid on that hotel bed and we talked. We talked about our lives, about dreams, and memories. Finally, one night at dinner he looked at me, his green eyes the most serious I had ever seen them.

“Are you happy?” He asked. He was asking something literally no one else in my life had bothered to ask for fear of the answer. It took me a few minutes to answer, the question catching me off guard.

“Of course I’m not happy. I hate my life.” I replied. He looked at me, that glorious twinkle coming back in his eyes as if it hadn’t ever left.

“Then why don’t you change it.” He stated before eating another piece of sushi. As if it was so simple. It wasn’t meant as an invitation but I’ll be damned if I didn’t take it as one.

I dropped Merch Mike at the airport that cool Friday morning at the crack of dawn. Actually it was well before that. I drove back to my apartment, crashed for an hour, then went to work at my new job at the DMV. At about seven that night I asked my husband one simple favor, please don’t drink tonite. He was instantly angry, instantly pissed off. He was angry I hadn’t brought Merch Mike to see him, angry I’d been gone for two and a half days with another man. Finally, he agreed and I fell asleep dreaming about a life I wasn’t allowed to have.

You see it’s the things we don’t tell people that cause the most problems. My husband, he was abusive and an alcoholic. Verbally abusive, I should clarify, but it was escalating, as these things often do. That night as I lay peacefully in bed, sound asleep from exhaustion suddenly all the lights flew on, the blankets were ripped off the bed, and yelling immediately started. My husband was standing there screaming at me for no apparent reason other then just to torture me. I was sobbing, my anxiety taking full control after having been scared awake and having literally every sense go from zero to sixty in a split second. Finally I was able to compose myself just enough to yell at him to leave the room. He stared for a minute then left to sleep it off on the couch.

I woke that next morning eerily calm. Calm as I have never been before (or after) in my life. I had this strangest sense of complete clarity. I walked out of the bedroom, woke my husband, told him to go in the bedroom to finish sleeping, and he did. I made myself breakfast and a cup of tea. I sat on the couch in silence, simply listening to the birds outside while I ate. Then I sat and just sipped my tea. I was serene. My husband walked out of the bedroom and took one look at me.

“Do you want a divorce?” He asked meekly.

“Actually, yes, yes I do.” I replied. He tried everything to get me to agree to stay. I wouldn’t budge. And then I sent one text.

Hey, Mike, I’m getting divorced.

The next six months were somewhat of a tearfilled blur, but a few things stood out. The first, my weekly conversations with Merch Mike. We would be on the phone for hours, talking about nothing really. He had been kind enough to have given me the contact info for my local arena and I actually got a job as a merch girl. We talked a lot about the business, a whole lot. I can not fully express how much those conversations meant to me.

I had moved myself into the spare bedroom of my soon to be ex husband’s and my apartment. I had exactly two feet around the bed of walking space and since he refused to allow me the larger bedroom and made sure every second he was home to be in the shared space I was confined to my room. I only left that room to use the bathroom and quickly cook food in the very short window between when I got home and whne he did. I lived like that for six months, unable financially to leave any sooner. I spent the first few pouring over divorce papers, unable to afford an attorney. My family still doesn’t know how bad it got, this is the first I’m actually putting it all to paper. There was one time my ex actually faked an emotional break down, had to be rushed to the er via ambulance, and from the hospital bed actually told me he had faked it. Yea, abusive. The only thing I had during that time was my friend Rae in DC and my weekly phone call with Merch Mike. They saved my life. Its that simple. They saved my life. That birthday I spent completely alone, my ex having used all our phone minutes so I couldn’t even talk to my family.

After months of looking for an apartment that was safe and cheap (a feat believe me) I signed the papers for one in a neighboring town. I was thrilled, but I had no one to help me move. My parents decided to come up and help me. It had been easier to sort of agree to be friends with my ex in order to get divorced and stay living there, so the day I got my apartment keys my ex offered to help me move some things. Nothing could possibly go wrong right? It’s laughable now really. He was sober when he got in the car, but by the time we got to my apartment he was drunk. I emptied out my car locked my new place and he and I got back in. I was furious, but he was getting violent as we neared the old apartment. It was the first real time I was scared for my life. He went inside. I stayed in my car. I couldn’t get ahold of Rae. I texted Merch Mike. In less then ten minutes he was on the phone with me. He stayed on the other end of the line until I was calm and over and over he asked me to please call the cops. He asked if I had the keys to the new place and could stay there. He was so concerned. I don’t know that I ever thanked him for that. I suppose this will have to do. Finally, I got my courage back and told Mike I was ok. The next day he checked on me to make sure I was ok. I was.

In my new apartment I thrived. I was saving to buy a house. I was working two jobs. I had left the DMV and moved to the OMIG. Merch life was incredible. I was travelling and making amazing new friends. I was still talking to Merch Mike every week, even after he landed the Rolling Stones gig. It was shortly there after I asked a simple question.

“Do you want me to come and see you in Buffalo? I got offered to work the show and can come out early and hang out or whatever. But only if you want me to.” I stated smiling the whole time. We hadn’t seen each other since before we both got divorced.

“I’m gonna be so busy during the day and you’d have to find something to do.” He replied.

“That wasn’t the question. Do you want me to be there?” I asked again.

“Yes.” He finally answered. I was thrilled. In my defense I was also still very much not ok. I started calling it my workcation and my excitement bordered on seriously ridiculous. But can you blame me? We were both single. We were staying in the same hotel room. I had lost a bunch of weight. I was stoked as fuck.

The trip was a bust. Right before I left for Buffalo Mikey (yes guitarist of the Rejects) had messaged Merch Mike asking if he and I were dating. We were not. I’m not sure of all the details, but whatever else happened in that conversation ruined everything. The trip was awkward and weird. Something didn’t seem right which only made me introvert worse then normal. But the worst would happen when I got back. Merch Mike and I had casually talked about me going on the road with him because he had been offered Alice in Chains again. A formal offer had not been given to me, but it was talked about. But after Buffalo, after he got spooked, I didn’t hear from him for months. Not a text. Not a FB message. Not a call. I went from talking to that wonderful man once a week for hours to complete radio silence. And it was all beacuse the Rejects who up and down claimed to give zero fucks about me got involved in my life. Its taken me years to forgive them and until this morning I hadn’t listened, watched, or even talked of them.

Months went by, I got worse in my mental illness. I started sexting with a guy from work who was very much not single. In fact his other half worked in our office. I was a wreck. I was having multiple anxiety attacks a day. I felt like this huge part of me was just gone. No Rejects, no Merch Mike, just this new weird world that I had to shape for myself, all over from nothing. But with that came a new hope. Its interesting to me that hope can do so much. I remember sitting on my couch watching that movie View From The Top. I sat after it was over just staring at the sun coming through my window. Peaceful and somehow content when I felt my phone go off. I looked down, just expecting it to be another gig offer as I’d been getting them frequently. It was Merch Mike. After months of complete silence he was calling me. He was calling me. I picked up the phone. He started talking and I cried. He apoligized I don’t know how many times. And then he asked me to come work a string of shows with him, Ringo Starr. He was even going to stop a night in Albany just to see me.

It was a nice visit. We talked and we planned the next trip where he was actually going to pay me to help him out. I was a real merch girl in that moment. I got to show him my shitty apartment and he was kind about it. I smile while I write this because god that apartment was awful and small and he was so nice about it. Then I went on the road with him for a few days working for Ringo Starr. We were in Philly when I finally asked him why he ghosted me. His answer was simple. He cared too much to hurt me and didn’t know how to handle it. Turns out not a week before Buffalo he’d hooked up with some other girl out on the road and he didn’t want me to be just some road whore. I’m certainly paraphrasing, but that’s what I got out of the conversation. We were just friends, and that was perfectly ok. Oddly the thing I had missed most was just us goofing off and talking. I realized I still loved him but that love had shifted. It was an amazing trip. I haven’t seen him in person since, but we still check in with each other. If I message him, he responds, keeping his promise to never ignore me again.

I went back to therapy after that. It was long since time. I’d remembered all sorts of awful things about life with my ex, things I pushed down and forgotten, buried amoung the concerts and the numbing vibes of those blissful shows. Including but not limited to being raped by my ex in a hotel room before we got married. Worst part is I didn’t even know thats what it was called. But you bet your ass it was. Real shitty what mind games our own mind plays on us to keep us alive. But I’m still going to therapy. The help is needed.

Then my grandmother passed away. Going through her jewelry I found a ring which had an inscription, ‘I love you Andy’. Not two weeks later I was supposed to be working a merch gig at a theater in poughkeepsie but was able to grab the second Albany theater. I met Andrew that night at the opening of Captain America: Civil War. I knew as soon as he touched my hand that was it. We forgot to exchange numbers. I hunted for him. I wrote to Craigs List missed connections. That crap got read on air on the radio (not kidding). All that and Andrew (Cap) came back the next day. We’ve been together since. He calls me Peggy I call him Cap. Avengers End Game just gave us our wedding song.

I say all this today because I go to therapy today. Its the first session after my cousin committed suicide. Of all the times I didn’t, of all the times it easily could have been me. His death hit me in ways I was not prepared for. I wish beyond anything he had had what I did. A Merch Mike to get him through the darkest days so he could find his Andrew. I share this story now because this morning I put on the Rejects music and I just listened and I smiled while I drove. Smiled at all the times their music saved my life. The roads we take, they lead us in crazy ways. At 17 I found a band. At 25 I followed them and met an amazing older man who asked the simpliest of questions that made me change my entire life view. At 30 I met my soul mate. At 33 I am going through a lot of shit, but I’m alive. I’m fucking alive and I’m unbelievably grateful for all the wonderful things I’ve been given.

Not many people can say they lived their dreams and get to make new ones. I can. So let this be my love letter, to whom I’m not quite sure. A fitting one full of hope and potential. One with ups and downs and wild rides and almosts but not quites. Let this be both a thank you and an apology. Listening to that one song this morning I remembered a little piece of myself I though I didn’t need. I hope there’s a fifth record now. Now I’m ready for one. Now I want one. Now I’m ready to see the boys again, this time from the back of the venue, probably the bar, in comfortable shoes and with my Cap. So please come to Albany gentlemen. Let’s have one more party. I need your music again. Really I always have. But now more then ever I need just one more show. You have no idea what your music did for me. It kept me alive for a long time. Y’all plan a show I’ll bring the cupcakes. We’ll have a blast.

From Pepper, with love always.

[sonofadeanwinchester]

Someday Darling (Part Five)

One | Two | Three | Four

Summary: Leaving LA to go to New York to spend time with your brother might just be the worst/best decision of your life.

Words: 1,182

Student!Sebastian x Reader ; Actor!Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: SWEARING (y’all should just expect that by now) ; FLUFF & jealous!Chris if you squint.

A/N: THIS IS MY NEW STORY! WELCOME ONE WELCOME ALL! If you wanna be tagged, don’t be shy and let me know! ;) SHORT CHAPTER I AM SORRY

Tags: @221bshrlocked @potterhead1265 @shellymaesworld@titty-teetee @pawallday @chameerah@buckylicious@nerdywitch@teresaoliva20 @guera31 @i-should-probably-be-asleep-rn@hvitserksgirl@lancetucker@ssweet-empowerment @ijustreallylovezebras@amandarosemire

**GIF NOT MINE

I woke to the sound of a blender going full speed and laughter in the kitchen. I wrapped the throw blanket around my body and tiptoed down the hall to see what the commotion was about. I peeked around the corner to find Sebastian at the blender, dressed in jogging pants and a tight black shirt, laughing. Penn was at the stove, shoving eggs around in a large pan. He turned to find the pepper and saw me peeking. "(y/n), morning!" He was yelling, trying to over power the blender.

I waved shyly and went to give him a quick hug, brushing Sebastian slightly. I never meant to touch him, it's just the kitchen in this place is not big enough for two people let alone three. My arms found Penn's waist and I wrapped them around him tightly, sighing as I did so. We never hugged much as kids but now that we were grown adults, hugging was nice. "I'm so hungry! Eggs for me?" I yelled back over the blender, but half way through the sentence, Sebastian shut it off, making my voice echo off the bare walls.

He laughed out loud. "No need to yell, (y/n), we're right here." I gave him a dirty look and sauntered over the table, waiting for the eggs to be finished. "What are the plans for today? I know you have to work Penn and Sebastian has school, but afterwards? Before then I think I'll just explore the city a bit." Penn placed a plate full of eggs and a cup of coffee in front of me. I filled my mouth full of food and coffee and chewed slowly.

Sebastian brought his shake over and started stretching, raising his leg over the counter, leaning forward to stretch his hamstrings. "Well, I am going for a run right now but I actually don't have school today. Professor called in sick so we got the day off, so how about I go exploring with you?" He scrunched his nose, holding his breath as he felt the pull in his legs.

Penn was nodding, chewing loudly. "That's a great idea Seb! (y/n) has never gotten the chance to explore New York the proper way, just take her to your favorite places and then grab her some ice cream from that amazing stand in Central Park!" He shoveled more food into his mouth and slurped hot coffee. "You're so fucking gross when you eat Penn." I placed the last bit of eggs into my mouth and nodded at Sebastian, "that sounds great actually. I'd probably get lost to be honest." I stood and placed my plate into the dishwasher, having to brush by Sebastian again. He smiled brightly this time and scooted out of the way, allowing to give me a bit more room. "I just wanna grab a shower first and I should be ready in let's say 45 min?" 

Sebastian nodded and grabbed his shake, "I'm going for a run, be back in a few."

Penn stood now and kissed my forehead while walking towards the dishwasher. "Have you talked to Chris yet today?"

I shook my head and sighed, "I still feel like shit about what happen even though he’s apologized immensely and hasn't given me any other reason to not trust him."

"I don't like the guy, like at all, (y/n), but you should at least check in with him. Kind of what good girlfriends do." He kissed my forehead again and grabbed his briefcase, "have a good day with Seb and call me if you guys get lost." He chuckled and locked the door behind him.

I grabbed my phone off the night stand and speed dialed Chris's number. Just when I thought it was going to be voicemail, he picked up sounding out of breath. "Hey baby!"

I settled into the bed again, bringing my knees to my chest. "Hey babe. What's going on? You sound like you're running a marathon."

He chuckled breathy and explained that he had started running this morning to slim down for the roll he had picked up. "My character is suppose to be slim but still muscular so Andre suggest running to slim down but hit the weights afterwards to keep my muscles. What are you doing?"

I smiled into the phone, as much as I was still pissed at him, I miss him a lot. "Nothing much, Penn has to work and his roommate doesn't have school today so he offered to show me around New York. Guess there is an amazing ice cream stand in Central Park?"

Chris caught his breathing back and I heard him order a protein shake from Smoothie Bank across the street from the weight gym. "His roommate offered to show you around? Any time we've been in New York, it's been at your brother's apartment and the airport. I'm glad you're finally going to be able to cross it off your bucket list." 

I hear gulping through the phone and started sorting through clothes to wear for the day. "Hey babe, if you were me, would you wear comfy jeans and that blue sweater your mom got me for Christmas when we first got together or comfy jeans, my AC/DC tank top with open flannel? Sneakers with both of them, of course." I eyed up the two outfits, pondering.

"Babe, you know how much I love you in the AC/DC tank, and I would prefer it if you didn't go looking all sexy for some guy but you'll die of the heat if you wear the sweater. Just go with whatever you'll be comfy in. Oh," I heard him snap his fingers, "you packed the navy blue sun dress didn't you? That's completely not that sexy and you'll be crazy comfy." He smiled into the phone but I was a little offended by his lack of trust.

"Chris, I don't want to start a fight but-"

"Then don't." His breathing was back to normal and he was stern.

I snorted, "but," I grabbed the AC/DC tank and a pair of skinny jeans, "I have never given you any reason not to trust me so I'm going to wear the AC/DC tank because I love it the most and it also smells like you. Just please, trust me."

He sighed into the phone and I could picture his squeezing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and middle finger. "Babe, you're right. You have never done anything that made me not trust you. Go ahead and wear whatever you want and have a blast! Call me tonight with details. Love you, doll."

I let a sigh of relief out, knowing that I stood up to him with a dig into our past but it had to be done. "Love you too. Call you tonight." With that, I hopped into the shower and changed into the AC/DC tank, blow dried my hair and was ready to go by the time Sebastian came back.