#the British monarchy is a hot fucking mess and needs to go

[bestworstideaever]

cancer is fucking horrific and a truly awful way to die that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, so I won’t call this karma... but even I have to appreciate the cosmic irony here. OOF 😮‍💨 h

2024 off to an INCREDIBLE start

[beardedmrbean]

There something about the French Revolution fetishizers that confuses me. Should we tell them that the France colonized the living fuck out of the Middle East and Africa. And also been connected to several assassinations of African countries heads of state?

The French empire was some of the most evilest motherfuckers on the planet with the likes of British empire. But Hitler just happened to kick off ww2 so the French and British use that to hide their atrocities in textbooks.

Not saying all French people are evil, but we really need a course on the evil shit the French empire did. Why do leftists romanticize the French Revolution? The evil they hate just stop wearing crowns and switch to top hots.

UK hasn't managed to keep that kind of thing down so well, France still has a few "colonial" territories left too, one of them I popped up a bit back island with about 200,000 inhabitants that overwhelmingly voted to stay French, doing otherwise was economic suicide.

But as for hiding their sins, not sure if the hiding was done on purpose or if it was just a case of it being overshadowed by people that would rather bitch about the US and UK, odd since many of the issues in the middle east are a direct result of the UK and France going behind the US's back so they could do what folks consistently bag on the US for. AKA they wanted that oil.

Back to fun with France, the year was 2015 and I promise there's a point.

How dare they do that with a "traditional" dish

Yes manipulation of the "traditional" recipe for "traditional" Vietnamese Banh Mi sandwich.

They replaced the "traditional" Vietnamese crispy baguette bread with non Vietnamese ciabatta bread.

Because the baguette is a traditional Vietnamese food steeped in thousands of years of culture and not something that was brought over by the French when the whole area was known as French Indochina and its capital was Saigon.

French left the area in 1954, so not too long ago.

Food is a screwy thing from a cultural standpoint, potatoes will forever be associated with Ireland even though they didn't exist outside of south america until the age of exploration. Don't even try to figure out who invented hummus just eat it, sausages and dumplings exist everywhere the contents are the only thing that changes.

Fortune cookies were brought to America by Japanese immigrants and managed to get associated with Chinese food because of WW2 and prejudice. That's one story at least.

Tangent over, maybe one day I'll go into how yoga is actually Dutch tho.

but ya, for some reason people forget how big the French empire was, it included Mexico at one point even now it's pretty much just French Guyana, it's weird really you'll hear more about the Belgian Congo than French Morocco, granted France didn't treat the people of Morocco nearly as bad as Leopold did the people of the Congo so there is that.

Spain still has a little corner of North Africa that's connected to Morocco I think it is, that's about all they have left of their empire other than one of the most widely spoken languages in the world.

Wildest thing about France in all of this is how many times the place shifted power, topple the monarchy still got all the colonies, first republic falls to napoleon, still got the colonies, 2nd republic pops in still got the colonies, here comes napoleon again, colonies, 5 republics, 2 empires, and a hereditary monarchy, oop can't forget the vichy nazi collaborators either, Petan should have already been dead imho but that's a different story.

Imagine being a French colonial governor when the revolution started, managing to keep your post and ride the whole thing out then the republic that was formed falls to Napoleon, then the Burbons pop back in for a few months, what a mess.

This was long but I hope entertaining in a way and maybe enlightening too, I could keep rambling like this lot of interesting things and my brain functions like a wikipedia tree when it starts in on things like this so I have to force myself to stop.

[georgesdamnton]

ok, uve roasted the amrev, can you roast the engrev??

CAN I?? JOKES ON YOU IM AN EXPERT ON 17TH CENTURY ENGLAND BITCH HAHA

If you want a more focused roast like individuals, parliaments, parties, etc, you're gonna have to send a different ask cus this is a vague infodump of my grievances with the commonwealth.

Warning: digression ahead.

Firstly, I've never heard anyone refer to the republic as "engrev" and I'm shook. The only time I've heard people even use the word revolution is for the Glorious """Revolution""", and I've written 2 separate papers on why that doesn't count as a revolution in any way, so don't get me started on that. I'm assuming by "engrev" you mean the no-more-king part, like frev and amrev does.

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So which part of "engrev" (it's growing on me ngl) was stupid and lame? Most of it. No offence. Wait I'm the English person here why am I no offence-ing you? Yes offence. England sucks. Stupid clown country. A key part of "engrev" is that the British parliament sucked and still sucks. Full of morons since 1215. Our government is, and always has been, a joke. So since we hate the monarchy, we are pro-republic, autocracy is a terrible system and we actively fight it: we don't have an engrev fave. Both sides are embarrassing.

The main criticism of the engrev is the following: WE'RE STILL STUCK WITH THE FUCKING ROYAL FAMILY ITS 2020 AND THEY STILL HAVENT FUCKED OFF WHAT THE FUCK GO AWAY YOU PARASITIC INCESTUOUS BUNCH OF GHOULS

It didn't stick!! I will say this, however, Charles II was a boss-ass bitch and if he wants to come back anytime he's welcome to. To sum him up: religious freedom and getting shitfaaaced~. Now there's a cause I can get behind. Also pretending to be a scientist. Which I do a lot. Respect. He also tried his best to work with parliament, despite it being filled with talking penis's, so kudos my guy. But ultimately he was still a king (not a scientist) so like. Sad face. But the reason he came back, bringing the monarchy with him since we removed his dad's head from his body thereby rendering him unable to be king, or be alive, was that parliament SUCKED. Mainly, they couldn't get anything done. You see, only men were allowed in parliament at this time, and if you know anything about British men, you'll know this means they're all useless and stupid and likely ugly. And you know something? I don't blame Charles II for bringing back the monarchy either because what is Lord Protector if not king but without the small amount of sex appeal being king might bring? They deadass offered Olly C the throne as if that didn't completely defeat the point of getting rid of the king in the first place. Sure ya boi had the sense to be like "that's.. probably.... Not.. a great idea......" but then they basically stuck a sticky label on the crown that said "Not A King" and ran with that instead. Thanks guys. Bunch o' bitches. Tbf though, Olly C rocking up like "not a king, a protector ;)))" (The thought of Olly C doing a winky face make me kinda ill. Sorry.) is kinda the same as Napoleon rocking up like "not a king, an emperor ;)))" except Olly C was fucking repressed, though at least he didn't pretend to be hot like one Mr Boner Heart. No matter how hard David simped, we know Napoleon's dick was tiny and his hairline tragic. Same way we know that Marat wasn't a twink in any capacity. But obviously we appreciate the effort, Mr David. Even if your taste in men is embarrassing, your work is lovely.

But honestly, dare I say it, the engrev walked so frev could run. The Cordeliers club took a lot from the English republicans, particularly John Locke, and not to be childish but WE CUT OFF OUR KINGS HEAD FIIIIRST~ NA-NA-NA-NA-NA~ We had the right idea in deciding that a king couldn't just ignore his duty to his people. Putting forward ideas that democracy should have a bigger role in the state and that the monarch's powers should be limited and that they should answer to the people not the other way around was pretty sexy of us actually. But it stopped there. The commonwealth was poorly managed and execution gets a 2/10. We flopped. And then we immediately brought back the monarchy! And kept them! For 360 years! How cringe is that!!

I think timing had something to do with it though. The 17th century was a weird time for everyone really. You think if they tried to pull frev with Louis XIV it would've been as cool? "Hey, you, king man, stop screwing us" "Haha no" and that's frev 1689 edition. Don't fuck with the sun king is all I'm saying. Wait omg call that a.. sunburn, amirite ladies? That wasn't really a burn in any way but I thought of the joke and.. someone say something mean about Louis XIV! I wanna use my sunburn joke! And idk enough about him! He was mean to protestants? Haha take that Louis you protestant-hater! Ha! Idk what I'm doing. Uhhhh right England! England is terrible. Engrev was also terrible. I mean, at least they tried. And the political thinking/theory was pretty sexy. But ultimately a flop. Thanks a lot Cromwell. Lord Protector more like.. Lord.. Bitch. More like.... Lord Spectre?? Lord Erector? Haha erector. Haha. Penis. Haha. Basically he was lame. I don't like him.

SO IN SUMMARY: British parliament is consistently terrible at everything, engrev was a flop but we committed regicide first so haha suck my dick, Charles II was a sexy mf, David needs to stop simping for funky looking dudes since he obviously wishes they were dark-haired twinks (ANTOINE IS RIGHT THERE DUDE), I'm a little scared of Louis XIV, Cromwell was a lameass loser, I didn't proofread this, and I'm keeping the term engrev I love it.

Also I once saw someone who shipped Robespierre and Cromwell and that really messed me up for a few months I won't lie to you like that's next-level fucked up dude

[breitzbachbea]

(p1) okei, what i think I can gather about you from your art/writing,(bare in mind i haven't read your long fics/most drabbles yet tho). Your 200+ OC's of different nationalities show you want to live in a thousand cultures, have a thousand lives and live in every part of history, but as you cannot, you have 200 OCs which is almost like containing 1000 souls (very relatable tho).... But 200+ OCs and your longest AU's are massive, show yeah 👀👀 And you enjoy ships that bicker... cos....

(pt2) cos the intimacy needed for that is HUGE. You love the 'i love you, i hate you, but i cannot escape from you' -> bonus points if it's history, language or culture that ties your ship together. Additionally: -completed devoted to the one they love (and would suffer for them) is a dynamic that interests you -u think the italian language is hot af -i get the feeling that michele is either how u want to be loved (idyllic love), or michele is how you love, cos that's your comfort ship (sic/ire)

1. That's pretty accurate! I have this fear that I'll never have enough time on this earth to do what I want (but I've been working on getting rid of that fear. There's enough time). I'm so fascinated by the world that we're living in, what used to be and how it relates to what is. The endless multiplicities of identity that a group can contain or even an individual.

So indeed, I make OCs based on what I learn about the world and in turn the OCs give me a good way to interact safely with the knowledge I find. It's a perpetuum mobile of creativity and knowledge.

And history is just the entirety of human experience on this planet, so trying to breathe some more life into it via Historical AUs is one of my favourite ways to engage with it. I love writing term papers as much as trying to apply the scientific findings to actual people. (I think one of my favourite things may be Sexuality in the res publica AUs, the do's & don't's that aren't the same as they are now. I freed Michele & Lovino from their catholic guilt, only to immediately constrain them with the class & gender expectations of the Roman Republic lmao).

2. I never thought about it like that, but yes! I enjoy bickering because it's an admission of closeness! You can't have friendly bickering if you're not close! (Which is why Hugo & Alois Are Like That. I enjoy them constantly mocking each other greatly, but it's never friendly and it always ends in a mess).

My family had and has its shares of problems, but I know that we love each other. Immensely. We're also that kind of family to constantly poke fun at each others, so I think that's why I instinctively resort to this kind of dynamic, with any kind of close relationships. It's not the ONLY one, because that would be boring, there are so many more ways to express love and it naturally doesn't suit every kind of character.

(I just remembered when we were at the lunch table and my dad spotted a magpie on the stable roof.

Mom: " ... why are my curtains pulled back again?"

Dad: "So that I can watch magpies.")

Here are some more non-romantic examples from my work/with my characters:

AA(The last one was a response to a tiktok that was basically "Asking your nice friends for fashion advice vs asking your mean/honest friends for advice")

3. I DO love the "i love you, i hate you, but i cannot escape from you". Maybe also for personal reasons, we're not getting that private on here. It's one of the inherent tragic aspects of Hetalia that has fascinated me for a long time: They're human and they feel like humans, but they lack part of their free will. They somehow have to survive entire lifetimes, loving and hating and remembeand worse, they have to bear decisions they themselves don't necessarily make. The relationships they form with the only other people like them, whether it'd be bonds of platonic, familiar or romantic love, the only solace and stability might have, may be snatched away from them. It can turn to hate or grow cold or another nation can disappear afterall and there is nothing they as individual people could have done about it. It's a double-edged sword - You tie yourself to someone who could be your raft as well as sink you to the bottom of the ocean.

I inevitably ended up keeping this kind of relationship in my "Like Father Like Son" Universe. Now, quick disclaimer - I am not saying they are solely the victim of their circumstances. They're all criminals in my AU and I have zero patience for making excuses for the Organized Crime. I worry greatly about the problematic aspects of my work and am well aware of them. The last thing I ever want to do is actively romanticize the Mafia. I want to add for the following part, too, that I draw as much on the real world as possible, but the structures of the organized crime in LFLS are a little more reminiscent of Monarchy or Aristocrazy.

With that out of the way however, the worldbuilding in LFLS mirrors their existence in Hetalia. Escaping their position would come with great dangers, even though their existence as is will never allow them true happiness. They're different from the people around them and there is a special connection between the Hetalia characters as bosses here - All of them inherited this position. They all basically suffer under the same yoke, they all are faced with the same difficulties. And, like in Hetalia, some of their decisions are out of their control. Business overrides their private life. They have to look out for their own people and families, for their own survival, so they may hurt the ones they love. And yet, and yet, they cling to one another. Try to make it as functional as possible. Take the pain for the relief. It's not pretty, but it's fascinating as an onlooker and fictional tragedies are also a great outlet for one's own emotions.

4. That also kind of ties in with "completed devoted to the one they love (and would suffer for them) is a dynamic that interests you". Hells yeah it does, because two people losing themselves is beautiful. Yes, it can be toxic, yes one should take care of oneself and have boundaries. But unconditional love is something I believe we all yearn for and I hope I one day get to devote myself to someone else again, as much as is healthy.

Again, it's also not just perfect for lovers, but for siblings and guardian figures. Paddy would lay his life down for Harry, Charlie & Soph. ("There's no pain that I won't go through/Even if I have to die for you" - Starset; "I love my children more than anything in this life! I will chose their happiness over mine, every time!" - Slightly changed version of Congratulations from the Hamilton Mixtape).

Gilbert who's so eager to be here for Ludwig and to protect him; to take anything off his brothers shoulder that he can.

And on the romantic side, is there anything better than two people simping head over heels for each other??? Or when a character wants to kiss/fuck another one so bad that it makes him look stupid??? I also love more quiet, more serene relationships, but to appreciate their calm, you have to make a storm to compare them to. All storm or all calm only gets you bored and exhausted.

5. Hell yeah do I think the Italian language is hot af, who'd disagree with me? It also unlocks emotions that were previously unavailable when I listen to Italian music. (German does the same. There is just something to each language that it can express certain feelings in a way like no other). YOU tell me that you listen to Shimmy Shimmy by Takagi & Ketra and aren't hypnotized by Giusy's voice. No other soundtrack for my Sicilians, Greeks and Turks fooling around on a beach and being highly erotic with each other.

6. Hm, this may be tying in with 2 again. I think I'm more of a Harry, personally, to be honest! (Nerdy, got aggression problems, cheeky, hothead, can't really cook). I think SicIre is my comfort ship because it's the type of love my parents had. It's what I am most accustomed to and there's also just a beauty in not caring what the rest of the world has to say and doing your own thing. And Harry isn't the prettiest bloke on the block and will probably never think of himself as beautiful, but that is fine because Michele looks at him like a sky full of stars. And the entire world can tell him Michele's a bastard, Harry won't listen to them. From a hetalia standpoint, these two are islands who had to suffer a lot from foreign occupation and being regarded as backwards & weird. Sicily tries to keep the autonomy it has and makes sure that others know they aren't like the mainland and Ireland fought hard for its independence from the British empire. From a LFLS standpoint, Harry embraces Michele with all of his past baggage and jagged pieces. Harry is the first person Michele never fell out of love with, the only one, and he's here to reassure Harry that he is worth caring for every step of the way.