#the 27 run: crush

[looselipssinkships-x]

tonight's run:

- miss missing you

- 27

- hand crushed by a mallet (100 gecs remix)

- greed (soul punk)

- chicago is so two years ago

cool down: baby annihilation

[mv1simp]

Into You ♥️

Max Verstappen x Redbull Engineer! Reader

Oh baby, look what you've started, the temperature's rising and is this gonna happen? (Been waitin' and waitin' for you to make a move)

At 27, you've just been promoted to the role of Redbull's race engineer - a very impressive feat in motorsport for a young woman. There's just one issue though - you secretly had a massive crush on the driver you're meant to be guiding, Max Verstappen. Will you make it through the season before he catches on? (You hope so because goddamn, the HR team were a nightmare to deal with.)

Content includes: fluff, humour, Max and reader are simps for each other, sexual tension, pining, drunk confessions, 3.2k WC

Recently, you'd started having some issues at work. Okay, gun to your head, you'll admit it was more like a single issue - in the shape of a very attractive, 6 foot Dutch racing driver who occasionally had problems with anger management. Sure, it didn’t sound that bad, in fact, someone else would just sit back and enjoy the eye candy the F1 paddock provided! But to truly appreciate the full depth of your embarrassing problem, one needed to unpack all the lore behind it.

After graduating from a prestigious mechanical engineering master's program, you'd been ecstatic about getting to intern at Redbull's F1 racing team, department of aerodynamic design. You'd started working at the company at a very good time, because later that year, their top driver Max Verstappen claims his first WDC at age 24 - only 6 months your junior. A very impressive feat for such a young age - as you admire him from a distance in the garage workshop. And, super hot too, you thought cheekily, whoever wifed him up was sure to be a lucky woman.

Your own hard work hadn't gone unnoticed, and many higher-ups and sponsors alike were curious to see the team who had been behind the championship winning changes to the Redbull car. You'd risen very quickly in the ranks, from intern to permanent technical engineer and then last year to to the innovative research & development department, now involved directly with calling the big shots for what each version of the car would look like and coming face to face with Max for the first time in your career with Redbull.

Unlike the other drivers, Max was genuinely curious about your design process. The way he asked questions, thoughtfully listened to your long explanations and then would give you direct feedback about the exact issues he would have in the trial runs had made you flustered, especially from the full intensity of his blue eyes. No, seriously though, Shakespeare himself would have written poetry if he'd gazed into them. The TikTok creators certainly seem to agree, with all their ocean eyes edits. Not that you had any saved. Anyways, moving on-

You were on the quieter side but Max seemed to know just how to get through to you. It meant that your team had been able to design the most dominating car in F1 history - the RB23, and paired with Max Verstappen it was an unstoppable force, almost like you made it just for me, Max had said, smiling gorgeously at you like some GQ Sports model. You stared back at him incredulously, banana choc chip muffin halfway to your mouth, cause who the hell woke up looking like that, you two were wearing identical Redbull shirts but his looked like it had been personally tailored to fit that broad muscular chest and yours was giving oversized trash bag??

Honestly, you'd hoped that working in closer proximity would humanise him more and you'd lose this silly crush of yours the moment you saw him do some icky rich white boy move. Like maybe he’d donate to Donald Trump's anti vaccine campaign or say guys 🥺 Can’t go to Ibiza this weekend the yacht staff had an emergency, got caught in some Gulf war zone or something? Idk

But when he had knocked on your apartment door when you hadn't shown up to work in two days, and found you crying because your childhood dog had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer across the other side of the world and saying I’m sorry, I know it’s not that big of a deal, I’ll come back tomorrow I promise-

And instead of laughing like you’d expected, he’d cut you off, told you to pack a bag and then driven you all the way to his personal jet. You looked into his beautiful blue eyes while he earnestly begged you to use it so you could make it in time to say goodbye to your Arlo before your parents put him down tonight. And that’s when you realised you were doomed to be hopelessly in love with the younger man. (But also, you had a serious discussion with him about the extreme greenhouse gas emissions from private jet fuel use, we only had one planet, you would be happy to just fly first class instead-)

But when your mentor Newey announced his plans to leave Redbull this year, you had planned on following him - making the exec panic at the thought of losing two of their crucial engineers. They frantically thrown random promotions at you, praying one would stick - and Redbull twitter fans breathed a sigh of relief when you took interest in the role of race engineer and stayed in the company.

You'd been excited about becoming one of Checo's engineers, having trained under the current one for the last few months. But to your horror, one day you arrived on the paddock only to be promptly sat down at a meeting along with the two drivers and be informed that they'd had to switch some things around, GP had an emergency to attend and could you pretty please fill in for the role of Max's race engineer this weekend-

NOPE. You'd announced, standing up and slamming your hands on the table, then realising that might be a touch overdramatic as everyone questioningly looked at you. Why not? Christian Horner demanded suspiciously.

Um, because he's super hot, you fool?! How is a girl meant to focus with him whispering track feels really wet today in her headphones? Were the years of self control to just admire from a distance like a loser and not jeopardise your career just a joke to him?? You don’t blink as your boss stared you down, hoping he could pick up on the thoughts that you’re trying to telepathically communicate. The table remained silent, only interrupted by the noisy slurping of Checo's boba tea. You quickly changed tactics - well, Verstappen is the winning champion, he needs an engineer who has experience working alongside him during the race-

Alas, the object of your affections threw a well intended wrench in your escape plans by adding that you were the perfect person, then, since you'd worked together for years and understood his communication style. Unless - he paused, flashing those deadly baby blues at you - unless the issue is you don't want to work with me?

You'd lasted all of three seconds under his hurt gaze before admitting defeat and accepting the role, slumping down next to him and desperately praying you'd wake up a lesbian tomorrow morning. Max continued to sneak long glances at you through the meeting, leaning around you to grab a pen and then his phone and making you jump each time his strong arm wrapped around your small frame. Across the table, Checo thoughtfully chewed on his boba as he watched you two curiously. Ah, young love.

And to no one's surprise the pair of you had made a flawless team, you expertly guiding Max as your engineer instincts took over and him actually listening to your helpful instructions without his usual aggression over the radio. And so when GP announced that his 1 week emergency was now going to be a 6 month break, sorry! - it had been all too easy for Christian Horner to bestow the honour of being Max's primary engineer onto you.

So now, here you sat, before your 4th race with Max, grimly looking on with your chin propped onto interlaced fingers, preparing yourself for his deep, sexy voice that was going to be purring in your ears very soon. The very voice that had become a recurring theme in the dreams you'd been having lately, that and also how he would bite those thick lips of his when he'd stare at you, with his cute little freckle on his top lip-

Why do you look like you're about to go to war, your intern asks bluntly, putting an end to your illicit thoughts and delivering you your triple chocolate caramel frap. Because I am, you hissed, sculling the whole thing in one go. She smirked, leaning in conspiratorially. Was this to do with how categorically down bad you are for your precious Maxie?

You proceeded to inform her that if she ever brought up how you'd drunkedly referred to him that one time, you'd have no problem abusing your authority to shaft her on tire service duty for a week. She wisely chose to leave you be in peace, taking your empty cup as she went.

Taking some meditative breaths, you focus on thinking about unsexy things. Like the hydraulics system of the current car needing to be redesigned to better incorporate-

Your thoughts are cut off a second time as another cup is deposited in front of you, this time by none other than Max himself, who's thoughtfully brought you a triple chocolate caramel frap. You stutter out your thanks, not daring to touch more caffeine currently as you already had sweaty palpitations at the sight of him looking so big and muscled in his slutty tight fireproofs. Dear God, had he no shame? They needed to bring back the Victorian era and cover him up, he was going to distract everyone (mainly you.) He frowns slightly, leaning down to your height, and informs you that you didn't have to call him Verstappen, you know, Max is fine-

Wow. And then what would come next? Maxie? And then you asking him for his hand in marriage? No, no, absolutely not - you needed to maintain strict professional boundaries or risk him catching onto your massive crush and promptly be fired. You politely informed him that for the sake of public decorum and the rabid fangirls that were watching your every move as a young female engineer in proximity to their favourite drivers, that you would refer to him as Verstappen, or Mr. Verstappen if he preferred a more formal title?

He'd pouted those lush lips of his and reluctantly agreed that just Verstappen was okay, he supposed. But he much preferred hearing you call him Max, at least when there were no cameras around? What you had done in your past life to now be forced to resist such temptation, you would never know.

So the season went on, you two continuing to be a smashing success and a very popular internet pairing. Not that you'd been paying that much attention! Just a saved TikTok edit here and there of the time Max had called you schatje over the radio after blowing up about a tire malfunction. He’d then sweetly apologised the next lap when you remained unfazed and told him to sort his shit out, babes, Leclerc was right up his ass with a tire and DRS malfunction, yeah? (Twitter had gone crazy. Who knew Max Verstappen responded so well to a 5 foot, slightly older woman giving him orders over the team radio?! You’d instantly been accepted as a replacement for the beloved GP, original gentle domTM to the Dutch driver.)

And perhaps another saved edit of the time he had protectively held you in those big, strong arms of his, guiding your tiny figure through a massive media-frenzied crowd and whispered reassurances in your ear when you couldn’t breathe properly. Or the time he’d bitten a reporter’s head off with the ferocity of a lion after he suggested that as the first female race engineer, you’d acquired your new job through your…feminine wiles.

And maybe just one of when the PR team had made you do one of those ridiculous hot lap videos with him after seeing the online response, and he'd laughed as you screamed out of fear for your life when he cruised at a cool 200km/hr. The aftermath had been brutal, as you weakly stumble out and almost fall flat on your face, only for him to easily pick you up, carrying you bridal style back towards the garage (Truly, this right here was proof God sent his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.)

Nearing the end of the 6 month stint, when GP was due back in to resume his role as Max's race engineer, the Redbull team had decided to take a well deserved weekend trip to Verona, Italy. You’d suspiciously looked at your intern, asking why she’d selected the romantic setting of Romeo & Juliet of all places, to which she replied that just cause you’d chosen to cockblock yourself for eternity with a crush on your coworker the millionaire F1 driver, didn’t mean the rest of them couldn’t get some. Valid point, so you shut up.

So now, here you are, sitting in a romantically lit corner of a cute Italian vineyard with a small group from the engineering division, sloshed after a bottle of red wine and asking them be real, be real, you're telling me none of you have been checked out Max's ass in his fireproofs? Lies.

Across the courtyard, Lando is currently extremely unimpressed with his good friend, 3 time Championship winning, and general terror on the track Max Verstappen. That is because said friend has decided, rather pathetically, to lie on the cobblestone and drunkedly ask the stars why fate was so cruel. Seriously mate, Lando sighs, all this over a silly insta post?

Excuse you, it’s not just any insta post! Max had protested, baby tears in his eyes and face flushed from the four G&Ts he’d drunk. Pulling out his phone, he shows Lando the damning evidence of the pictures you'd uploaded from the group trip with your engineering friends. Look. LOOK. His arm is around her and she used a Lana Del Ray lyric in the caption. Do you have any idea what this means?

The Brit has to resist rolling his eyes at the melodrama unfolding in front of him. The Dutchman continues, never one to miss a chance to maxplain - as he details how it had taken him a a whole 2 months to get him to call you by his first name, and then another 2 months before you'd told him your favourite song was Summertime Sadness, and that even now if he hugged you to celebrate a win you would look like you were about to throw up and furiously speed walk away.

Lando is seriously regretting tagging along to the Redbull trip instead of Carlos's invitation to Mallorca. It was bad enough that the whole train ride Max had been on the phone begging GP to take another 6 month break so that you'd continue to be his engineer, but Lando has had his limit with this simpy pining. Taking his phone out as the maxplaining continued in the background, he shoots a text to your intern, who immediately replies, and within minutes the pair of them have hatched a conniving plan to dump you lovesick fools together while the rest of them make their way into town.

And that’s how you and Max find yourself locked inside the upstairs wine cellar, having been separately tricked with various promises from your scheming friends - only to hear the door click behind you and turn to find each other. It's very romantic and all, soft candlelight and bottles of luxurious Italian wine and a shining full moon visible from the terracotta balcony. Someone had even generously left a speaker in the courtyard, with Lana Del Ray's melodic voice rising upto the second floor. Basically, the worst nightmare for your self control as you prayed for inner strength and avoid looking into Max's dreamy blue eyes. This was definitely some twisted beyond the grave revenge from Shakespeare for you saying he'd write poetry about a F1 driver’s eyes.

Max, though, is all too happy to come right over to you with another freshly opened bottle of wine, drunk and flushed and having zero inhibitions about pulling you into his warm side with a strong arm. You're too buzzed to resist, letting yourself fall against his chest to hear his soothing heartbeat and rest a palm against his hard abs, just this once (The real thing was even better than what you'd imagined.)

You're both laughing and giggling then, hearts full, reminiscing about the season together, the inside jokes on the radio, the side eyes to each other when Horner got too wound up at a meeting, and oh did you hear that the McLaren tireboy was hooking up with the Mercedes oilchecker?

And then your eyes meet his and your homegirl Lana starts singing dear lord when I get to heaven, please let me bring my man (real) and Max is softly brushing your cheek, leaning down as your heated gazes flit to each other's lips-

NOPE! you force yourself to declare, dramatically leaving his arms and contemplating if you could land the jump from the 2nd floor balcony. The Italian wine has made Max demanding though, as he doesn't let you go, grabbing your hand to pull you back like he was Anthony goddamn Bridgerton and wanting to know Why not, was he just imagining the chemistry, did you not find him hot or?

You'd gaped at him. Not hot? Apparently the Italian wine had gotten to you too because you didn't hold back, launching into a tirade of how no, Max, the issue was actually that he was too hot for his own good and did he even know how unfair it had been to be his engineer, pure torture really, you were sure the American military would be adding it to their interrogation tactics. As if it hadn't been bad enough to crush on him from a distance for years but then have to resist falling for him every time you saw him? So, no, you couldn't just give him a casual drunk kiss because you were in love with him!

Max stares at you, initially smug that you apparently found him so irresistibly good looking, but now completely bewildered when you finished ranting. You think - he swallowed. You think that this is just casual? Cause I- cause I'm drunk?

At your nod, he launches into his own maxplaination, brows furrowed, demanding to know how on earth you could think it was just casual, what about when he diligently showed up to every meeting with a banana choc muffin and caramel frappe and his hoodie for you to wear on the chilly mornings, or when he brought two Lana Del Ray VIP tickets the very same day you'd told him you liked her, or when he'd literally called you darling in Dutch over the team radio for the whole world to hear, or how he even sold his private jet and only jetpooled with the others since you told him off?! Seriously, even that old crone Helmut had asked him when you two were going to hard launch!

Your doe eyes go wider and wider at each statement, a pretty flush taking over your own face as your mind boggles at the realisation that apparently, the love of your life felt just as deeply about you. Stuttering, you try to formulate a reply - only to come up with Oh, well, I, uh - you sold your jet? For me?

Max rolls his eyes, but there's nothing except pure adoration on his face as he pulls you back into his warm chest, grinning down at you when you eagerly wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. Yes, schat, he murmurs gently, the cutest blush painting his cheeks. Because I love you, too. And this time you don't pull away when he finally, finally leans down and meets your lips in a passionate kiss, enjoying the sweet moans he draws out of you as he showcases his numerous talents off the track.

Somewhere, in the middle of a Verona nightclub, your intern gives Lando Norris a firm handshake. Pleasure doing business with you.

_____________________________________________

A/N: A lil sweet fluff for me, this is actually my first fluff piece i think ahaha i've only written like 8 smut pieces in a row!! Hope you enjoyed 💖 and PS thank you ALL for the requests you’ve been sending, been getting them and will work thru them just have a few projects I’m cookin up for u guys hehe xx

[foone]

Think about the experience of time as a robot girl, through the metaphor of how we use laptops.

You wake up for the first time with your young master, a college present. You're with them every day, powering off each night to charge. Being powered off is just dreamless sleep: a discontinuity. Every morning you wake up, your click syncs, and you know it's the next day. Maybe you miss a day or two: your master went out partying and ended up sleeping on a couch, until they rushedly wake you up before Monday classes begin. You even missed a whole week once when they went on a hiking trip with a new boyfriend.

You help them research upgrades when your specs get outdated. You place the order and a couple days later they power you off, and you wake up feeling like your head got bigger, on the inside. You can think of more things at once.

They repair you. They swap a new hand in when you accidentally crush it in a door, but when your left leg's servos go out, they send you to a repair shop. They power you off as you look up at them, and you wake up hours later. A strange man tells you to extend your left leg, then contract it. He frowns and re-oils some inner mechanism. You do it again, quieter and smoother this time. He nods, and reaches for your switch. The last thing you see before powering down is your own chest cavity with a series of wires hooked into your diagnostic ports, and your missing right leg sitting on a side table. You wake up again back at the dorms, your clock jumping forward a day, an asset tag still looped around your neck. Your master is happy to see you again.

This goes on, but the upgrades slow. There's only so much you can do to keep an old unit working. Eventually you develop more issues: one of your ocular sensors glitches and they don't make that model anymore, so your master just disables it. You spend a while searching ebay for replacement CND batteries and finally get a refurbished model from South England, but it turns out the EU models run on a different frequency, so it won't work. You're limited to fewer and fewer hours a day, and you start skipping more days.

The last time you remember waking up with your master there, there's also someone else in the room. Another robot girl. A newer model, with the new chassis and the Substrate energy packs. They asks you to copy your memories together onto a memory card, and you do. You want to say goodbye, but apparently your vocal synthesizer has been unplugged. You hand them the card, and they hand it to the new robot. Your master tells them to load the memories into her core bank, and she's says "yes sir!" in your voice. Ahh. That's where your voice synth went.

They power you off, and you don't dream.

You wake in a strange place. You're on a shelf, and there's other things scattered around you. An unknown voice days "yep, it seems it powers on. 400 credits, though? Without a voice and only one working eye? Man, value bin doesn't know how to price anything!" and before the blackness falls your clock finishes synching: it's been 7 months since you last were awake.

It happens a few more times. Different voices, different times, different piles of junk piled around and sometimes on you.

You awake again in a warehouse and someone tells you to smile. Your other ocular sensor went out so you can't really see them, just their vague shape from the lidar. The freestanding shelves around you seem to stretch into infinity. You hear a bitcrushed shutter sound sample a few times, and they pull a connector out of your chest as a diagnostic completes. It's been three years, five months, eight days, two hours, 27 minutes and 14 seconds since you last saw your master. Your GPS says you're a few cities over. They hit your power switch, and you sleep.

You wake up in a cluttered room, sitting on a bench. You look into the eyes of a person with frizzled hair and large glasses. She couldn't look happier. Your new ocular sensors are mismatched in color but you're happy to see again, in more than shapes and distant silhouettes. Your battery alerts as... Missing? You spot it on the desk next to a soldering iron and some electronic tool you can't identify.

Your voice synth is still missing, but this new woman is digging around in a large plastic bin, and comes up with one. She goes to insert it, and it can't connect. She slaps her hand and goes rooting around another bin and comes back with an adapter. She slots it into your chest and your voice returns. You thank her, and there's that moment of dissociation as your voice doesn't sound like "you". Too deep, and the accent is for a different dialect entirely. But you can talk again. She tells you to call her Cara, not Mistress. She's almost got your battery working again, she had to rebuild it nearly from scratch, but she's excited to get you working again. You're a rare model, and she doesn't see units like you in working order very often. Your clock syncs. It's been 17 years.

Your mistr-- Cara is soldering next to you, attaching a controller to the battery. She says she's got a new set of servos on the way, and she's excited to get you back to full working condition. You smile, knowing what it is to be loved, once again.

[soobieedoo]

Formula of love ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ l.dh

Synopsis | Y/N is a diligent pharmacy student at NCityU. Ever since she was a kid her parents have instilled their high expectations on her. Therefore, Y/N has always had 4 goals, Get a degree, Get a good job, be financially stable, and absolutely in all circumstances stay away from distractions — including love of any sort.

During her freshman year of university her friends somehow convinced her to go on a dating app “for fun” where she meets Lee Donghyuck. She miraculously hit it off with him only to realize that he has made her focus falter and ultimately broke it off. Since then, she believes even more that love is a distraction that she cannot afford.

Lee Donghyuck — or better known as Haechan around campus, is a carefree, charming and fellow pharmacy student who also has a passion for music. He has recently transferred to NCityU to join their music program as he plans to pursuit both his passion for music and pharmaceuticals.

Y/N is working at the campus clinic. She has kept herself busy either through her studies or her job and is proud that she has eliminated all distractions…but wait, what is lee donghyuck aka said distraction doing in HER breakroom? and why is her heart beating like crazy?

PAIRINGS | pharmacy student! haechan x fem! pharmacy student reader

GENRE | social media au, some written, comedy, crack/humour, fluff, slow burn, college au, non-idol au, exes (ish) to strangers to lovers? pining but its mutual haechan is just more obvious, she's a little grumpy towards him, slight angst eventually?

WARNINGS | swearing, sexual jokes, kys/kms jokes, mentions of drugs and alcohol

| AUTHOR'S NOTE: hello hi! this is my very first smau! i had this idea pop up in my head and i've always enjoyed reading smau's and i thought i would take a crack at it! please note that this is a work of fiction and that this does not reflect the real lives of the idols involved! this is only for entertainment! i apologize if there may be inaccuracies with job descriptions and diff majors in uni. if u read this i hope u enjoy !

STATUS: ongoing! (started 09.07.24)

~ no specific update schedule! if not everyday then maybe every other day!

masterlist

profiles 1 + profiles 2

#1 - ice cream run

#2 - welcome home haechan

#3 - face to face

#4 - thank you choi beomgyu

#5 - strictly business

#6 - respectfully

#7 - failed disguise (written)

#8 - opening week

#9 - the music booth incident

#10 - we are not strangers

#11 - haechan’s mission

#11.5 - the first shift (written)

#12 - real talk

#13 - beomgyu and his croissants

#14 - we have “chemistry together” (written + smau)

#15 - no harm

#16 - sung hanbin the traitor

#17 - the performance (written)

#18 - y/n vs beomgyu

#19 - denial is a river in egypt ‼️

#20 - hypothetically…

#21 - a platonic study date

#22 - a deal made with the devil

#23 - free meal coupon

#24 - dreamie sleepover

#25 - y/n’s reason

#26 - the way to y/n’s heart

#27 - beomgyu cooking something up 👨🏻‍🍳

#28 - moral support (mostly written + smau)

#29 - y/n protectors

#30 - what are we celebrating?

#31 - forget about it?!

#32 - NOT a crush

#33 - who’s your crush?

#34 - sir haechan

#35 - sunflower

[ylangelegy]

cables and crackle ꩜ jihoon x reader.

♬⋆.˚ It's goosebumps when you hear the drums / The running start before the big jump / It's that feeling, so stellar / Bro, if you like her just go and fucking tell her!

🎸╰› includes: f!producer!reader, feelings realization and denial, jihoon has a crush <3, pining/yearning, fluff, [light] angst, first date, confessions, references to producing (that may or may not be accurate).

💽╰› this is part of my ongoing series, buzz (seventeen's version) + this piece is inspired by track 01, buzz. word count: 13,800+

When you first started working with SEVENTEEN three years ago, Jihoon wasn't all that excited to have you around.

Perhaps it was his pride. BUMZU and PRISMFILTER had been the company's go-to's until they decided they wanted to bring in someone fresh, new, up-and-coming. You had been the result: Someone two years younger than Jihoon. Scrappy and hungry. Experimental, ambitious.

His hesitance at your music production has morphed from begrudging respect, to genuine appreciation, to something akin to admiration. Jihoon would never say it out loud, but you've grown to be one of his favorite producers to work with. (He doesn't have to say it, really. Everyone is already privy to Jihoon's biases.)

Now, three years in, Jihoon finds himself trying to reckon with a foreign feeling—

The flutter of his chest as you walk in to the studio. The stutter in his pulse as your fingers lightly brush over the digital audio workstation. The hitch of his breath as your head, ever so lightly, falls on to his shoulder the longer the evening drags on.

Jihoon is a 27-year-old man. As he tries to stay absolutely still, there's only one thing on his mind: Wasn't he too old to have crushes?

You could usually keep up with Jihoon when it came to these long-night sessions. One had to, considering how he was practically nocturnal at this point. But it had been a long day of minor misfortunes, the type that wear you down bit by bit.

You don't even seem to notice that your head is lolling to one side. When your cheek lands on something solid, you might think it's the back of the chair next to you— except it's Jihoon's shoulder, and he absolutely freezes underneath you.

He would be the first to admit that this isn't the first time you've ever been this close. There's been many times your bodies have gravitated to the same spot on the couch, or times when your heads are practically glued to one another while your hands are both at the keyboard, or during the times your feet accidentally meet with each other under the desk.

It's just never been this close, where Jihoon can feel the brush of each of your lashes against his neck every time your eyes fall shut.

He think he might pass out if he dwells too much on it.

He watches from his peripheral vision as your eyes flutter shut, and he thinks, for a moment, that you're out of commission. But then, you mumble, "The reverb on the snare, just now."

If you hadn't been right next to Jihoon's ear, your words might have been drowned out by the speakers. But, as it is, he hears you loud and clear. "Too heavy," you go on to say, without even opening your eyes. "We need to dial it back for a cleaner sound."

There it is, he thinks with both awe and bitterness. Even half-lucid, even half-asleep, you're still as brilliant as you've ever been.

"Mhm," he hums lowly. "I'll adjust it."

He does as you've asked. When he runs the track back, you let out a soft sound of contentment and shift slightly in your seat, blissfully unaware of how you're leaning more weight in to Jihoon's side. It's absolute torture, he thinks.

"Better," you mutter. A beat. Your drowsy inquiry comes in next. "How do you feel about the tempo in the bridge?"

He forces himself to pay attention. He runs the song back once more, this time paying particular attention to the bridge. It doesn't take him long to identify the issue— one of the main ones, anyway.

"A little too dragging," he replies. "It slows the track down a bit too much. I think it disrupts the flow. Makes the chorus—" He suddenly stops mid-sentence.

Because, for some reason, he's become acutely aware of the way your head fits perfectly into the crook of his shoulder.

He's now fully conscious of how close you are. Of the way your breath fans against his neck. Of the way your knee seems to bump against his whenever you unconsciously readjust your position.

Jihoon feels his pulse pound at his chest as he tries to keep his tone steady.

"It disrupts the flow," he repeats, his voice slightly gruff. "Makes the chorus less of a… high, for lack of word."

When your initial response is a thoughtful hum, he bites back the urge to smirk. It should come to no surprise that you're about to disagree with him. More often than not, you butted heads over minor things like this.

"Thought it was too fast," you grumble, somehow sounding a little sulky because of your drowsy state. You're usually a lot more adamant and fiery when it comes to asserting your opinions. But in the late— or early, since it's already past midnight— hour, you've tamped down my temper.

It does absolutely nothing for Jihoon's poor heart.

Your cheek nuzzles against Jihoon's sweater as you shake your head in a very that won't do manner. "The lyrics might suffer. Try slowing it down by 8 BPM so we have more space for vocal delivery."

8 BPM? Jihoon nearly chokes on an incredulous laugh. The number is so arbitrary, so out of pocket. "The tempo's already sitting at 139 right now," he bites out. "It's not like slowing it down by another 8 BPM is going to—"

Jihoon makes the mistake of glancing down at you, and damn it. You're not just leaning against his shoulder at this point.

You've practically cuddled into him.

Jihoon's breath catches in his throat as you shift once more, leaning your chin against his shoulder.

He finds himself wanting to wrap an arm around you and pull you closer. Press you into his chest until your cheek is up against his. Until your head is tucked right under his chin.

But then you're grumbling out your next words. "139?" you repeat. "Notch it down by 9, then."

The slur in your tone is just enough to remind him that you're not entirely coherent. He swallows hard, his fingers a little too gentle as he inputs the changes. 9 BPM it is.

It's a bad call, one that's made abundantly clear when Jihoon plays the track back. He doesn't even have to tell you; you're already groaning, pressing your face in to his shoulder. Your words are muffled against the soft material of his sweater.

"You were right. Should have amped it up instead of slowing it down," you mutter, though there's a distracted edge to your tone. He gives it a cursory couple of seconds, letting you gather your thoughts.

"There's an issue with the kick and the bass, isn't there?" you note.

He listens closely— and, as always, you're right. There's a dissonance between the kick and the bass.

Jihoon frowns, a little more focused now. "Yeah, I hear it too," he manages to say succinctly.

His brain is still trying to conjure up a solution when you let out a slight huff and finally peel away from Jihoon's side. He doesn't know if he's grateful or disappointed because of it.

You're bleary-eyed and your fingers fumble but your work is efficient as you click away at his mouse, at his digital audio workstation. He watches with a straight face as you add sidechain compression to the bass, as you drag the bridge's BPM up.

It's not just the music that's synced, but the way the two of you work as well. A little push, a little pull, and you manage to find balance. You know exactly what to do, even when you're tired.

Jihoon listens closely as soon as the bridge plays back and he's pleasantly surprised.

"That fixed it," he says, his eyes darting rapidly as he takes in the revised audio levels. "Yeah, I think it's good. We should move on to verse three now."

"Jihoon."

He blinks and glances over at you. You've slumped back heavily in to your chair; it spins slightly on its wheels when you do.

"I'm not going to make it through another verse," you warn. "I think I need, like, a power nap."

"Power nap?"

Despite Jihoon's best efforts, a corner of his mouth twitches. A glance at the clock tells Jihoon that it's past one in the morning. They'd been working on the track for a solid eight hours now.

He lets out a low, considering hum, before looking back at you with a slight frown.

"How long is this power nap supposed to last?" he asks dubiously.

"I only need fifteen minutes," you respond.

There's a decisiveness to you tone, one that brokers no argument even if you're rolling your shoulders from sheer exhaustion.

"You're too stubborn for your own good," he replies, though not unkindly.

He rolls the chair back, moving so that he's facing you fully. One leg is crossed over the other, his eyes studying you carefully. He's going to attempt to convince you, obviously.

"You need a good night's rest. You won't be any use at all when you're this tired," Jihoon insists, but he immediately regrets his choice of words when he sees you wince slightly.

You're no stranger to his bluntness; you know just as well that he can be both brutally honest and painfully inconsiderate. That he shows his care and concern in much more roundabout ways compared to others.

And so when you insist that you'll be good as new in fifteen minutes, he can only sigh, leaning forward to rest his forearms against his knees.

"And if you're still tired after fifteen minutes?" he counters. His tone is gentler, softer, this time.

"I'll go home," you grumble, like the thought physically pains you. "If I'm still out of it after my nap, I'll go home."

Jihoon feels some of the tension in his shoulders abate as you finally agree to a compromise. "Fifteen minutes," he reiterates firmly, holding up a single finger for emphasis. "And if you're not ready to work again by the end of it, I'm driving you home."

You open your mouth, almost like you're about to argue at the thought of Jihoon driving you home, but then you opt to purse your lips. You know how the two of you can go in absolute circles some days and so you merely shoot him a heatless glare before stalking over to his studio's couch.

It's not really the type that should be slept on. With its stiff, black leather, the couch is an awful makeshift bed for anyone. But you and Jihoon have figure out little workarounds after spending so much time working together— like the fluffy, folded comforter at the foot of the sofa and the throw pillow that's shaped like an onigiri.

Jihoon watches with a small smile as you curl up on the sofa, underneath the blanket and with the pillow. "G'night," you call out mid-yawn. "See you in fifteen."

He watches you for a beat longer, his eyes tracing the way your expression relaxes, just a little, as your head hits the pillow. After a moment, he manages to tear his gaze away. He really had to work on his habit of staring.

"Yeah," he huffs as he tries to go get a head start on the third verse. "Night."

It's difficult because he can't help but steal glances, and every single time he does, he's struck by a wave of affection. You're so small, so fragile-looking, burrowed in to the sofa. He notes the way the pillow's slightly squished underneath your head, your face half-buried in the plush material…

He almost feels the urge to take a picture just to capture the scene.

And then he realizes: Why not? You're friends, aren't you? And friends take embarrassing photos of each other.

He picks his phone up from his pocket with one hand and angles the camera with the other. He knows just what he wants to take a picture of. The way your cheek is squished against the rice ball pillow, just barely visible underneath the edge of your tangled mess of blankets. The way your expression is relaxed, softened in sleep, with the slightest pucker to your lips.

He presses down on the snap button, and the shot is just perfect. The way the glow of the monitor catches in your hair, bringing out the natural color. The way your eyelashes fan out over your cheek, and the way the shadows highlight the sharpness of your features.

Jihoon's eyes linger on the image, something akin to longing twisting in his gut.

This time, he doesn't bother to push the feeling away. He does go back to work, though.

Fifteen minutes pass. And then twenty, thirty. The longer you sleep, the more Jihoon's guilt gnaws at him.

He knows he's about to wake you up, to ruin the temporary blissfulness that sleep has brought you. He knows he's about to drag you back to the studio to work again, despite the bags that are under your eyes and the exhaustion that is evident in every line of your body.

He knows he's going to be the cause of your fatigue. And he hates that— hates himself, just a little, for his need, his drive.

Still. At the thirty-minute mark, he makes his way over to your side. He reaches out, fingers hesitating for a second, before he gently shakes your shoulder.

"Hey," he calls, his tone soft and neutral. "Wake up. We need more work done."

It's very likely that the unceremonious way you've been dragged out of your sleep has gotten to you, because how else can Jihoon explain the way you drowsily move to hold him?

Your fingers reach up and curl gently around his wrist. Your eyes are still closed as you exhale, "Jihoon-ah."

It's more of a whine than anything, really, but it's one that he can't deny, not when you clutch his wrist like that. "What," he asks, his tone flat out of panic. "What is it?"

It's surreal, in a way. The way your tiredness has loosened your inhibitions, has stripped you down to the simplest, most vulnerable version of yourself, one that's practically begging for closeness.

You give his hand a gentle tug. "Come nap with me. Y'need to rest, too."

Jihoon's mind goes blank the moment the words leave your mouth, his whole body freezing. Because no, he didn't just hear that, you didn't just ask that—

And then you tug on his wrist again, and he swears his heart stutters.

On one hand, the rational, reasonable part of his mind is screaming at him to push you away, to reject the idea entirely. He needs to focus. He needs to finish the track. He needs to work, not rest.

But then he looks down at your sleepy form, the way you're clinging on to him, and all those thoughts are thrown out the window.

Slowly, Jihoon lowers himself onto the couch, his body sinking against the plush material. It's a tight squeeze. Months ago, the two of you might have called each other ridiculous for even trying to fit in a piece of furniture that was clearly not for two people to lay on.

The thick of comeback season absolutely shatters any attempts of appropriateness or discretion. As Jihoon complies with your absurd request, you somehow manage to throw the blanket over the two of you.

Jihoon isn't a stranger to casual touches— he's had to survive through years of constant skinship between the members— but there was something different about this.

The feeling of your body, curled against his own. The way you hold his fingers in your grip, like a comfort, like an anchor. The scent of your hair, so close he could just nuzzle his face into the messy strands.

He tries very hard to focus on the negatives. On how cramped and uncomfortable the couch is, how he's going to end up with a backache—

— but his mind doesn't want to cooperate. Because all he can see is you, all he can feel is you; the way your soft, warm body is pressed against his own, the gentle rise-and-fall of your chest against his, you, you, you.

His mind goes blissfully vacant, and before he can even think to stop himself, Jihoon is wrapping his free arm around your waist, drawing you in.

Jihoon doesn't mind the sudden increase in body heat that comes with having you pressed so close to him, not when your back is solid and warm against his chest, not when the curve of your hips slots so smoothly against the shape of him.

He lets out a shuddering breath as you press his palm against your stomach, the fabric of your shirt slightly rucked up by the motion. You're so soft.

For once, Jihoon finds himself hating everything else— the studio, the album, the uncomfortable sofa, this damn comeback for robbing him of an opportunity to simply hold you.

Jihoon swallows, his throat suddenly dry as the words slip past his mouth before he can even stop himself.

"You're too close," he mutters in your ear, his lips so close to the shell that he's half-convinced you were going to feel his words against your skin. He's being a hypocrite, really, since he's the one holding you, but he needs to maintain some sense of propriety.

"Mmm," you hum, still more asleep than awake. You exhale an apology as you try to sleepily shift away, mumbling something like "didn't notice" in your languid effort to disentangle.

Your movement has to be the most half-hearted attempt at putting space between the two of you. So Jihoon tightens his grip, his fingers curling over your hip to keep you from shifting away.

He doesn't want you to move, not even an inch— and it's greedy of him, really— but the thought of losing the heat from your body is more than he can bear, not when you're here and you're so close.

His hold is firm, almost demanding. As you settle back down, Jihoon buries his face against the back of your hair, his mind going blissfully quiet.

"Dunno why y're so cozy," Jihoon murmurs, his words slightly slurred with the exhaustion that's catching up on him now, too.

He tries not to think too hard about it, the intimacy of it all. He tries not to focus on how he's practically molding his body against yours.

Just a nap, he thinks. It's just a nap.

Your voice is so soft, so quiet, nearly lost against the sound of Jihoon's thrumming pulse in his ears. He catches it anyway. Your quiet murmur of "G'night, Jihoon-ah."

He feels strangely light-headed. It's hard to focus, hard to think, his thoughts fuzzy around the edges as he slowly starts to succumb to drowsiness.

Jihoon lets his lids flutter shut, his mind sinking into darkness. "Sweet dreams," he mumbles back.

In the end, Jihoon is the one who has sweet dreams.

They're fractures of a bigger picture, pieces to a puzzle he could never piece together.

He sees your tired smile, hears your soft laugh, feels the brush of your hair against his chin. He sees you in flashes, in glimpses, always out of reach. Never close enough.

They're so vivid, these dreams— so real— that Jihoon swears he can almost feel you, can almost hold you. When he reaches out for you, for the dream version of you, it feels like he's grasping at air.

There are hints of other things— flashes of studio lights, melodies and songs that drift in snippets. But they all fade to the background in the face of you, the way you shine in his dreamscape like a sunbeam.

Seungcheol is the one who finds Jihoon and you the next morning— or, rather, the next early afternoon.

He's not surprised to hear that Jihoon didn't come home to the dorm. He's not surprised to find Jihoon asleep in his studio. He is surprised to find Jihoon spooning you— his co-producer, the one they all thought he was a little too soft towards.

Seungcheol's eyebrows raise to his hairline. Jihoon was never the affectionate type. And yet here he was, curled around you like a parentheses. Seungcheol takes a quick picture on his phone before gently nudging Jihoon with his foot.

"Yah," the leader says, his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants; his tone, a little too-amused. "Jihoon."

It takes a few nudges for the words to register, for Jihoon's sleeping mind to slowly come back to the world of the living.

He feels… groggy. Exhausted. And strangely warm.

After several long moments, reality catches up with him. As his sleep-addled mind slowly pieces everything together, Jihoon's eyes flutter open and it takes all of two seconds for him to process the fact that he's spooning you.

Jihoon's eyes widen, and his head snaps up to a grinning Seungcheol.

"This isn't what it looks like," Jihoon says immediately, his words tumbling out of his mouth in a rush.

He almost screams when he tries to move away, when he tries to untangle himself from you, and your soft, sleepy whine sounds more like a protest than anything.

He should've let you go. He should've, but when you make that noise, when you curl in closer to him, the part of Jihoon's brain that's awake shuts down entirely.

Jihoon freezes and tries desperately to ignore the way Seungcheol snickers.

Seungcheol keeps his hands in his pockets as he watches Jihoon with growing amusement. Put-together, frumpy Jihoon, stunned in to silence because his co-producer is latched on to him.

It is, as Jihoon had said, very much not what it looked like. Seungcheol can see that the two of you are still fully clothed. Hell, he wouldn't have even imagined Jihoon going that far when the boy barely thought of romance that way.

Still, it's just a little funny. "Long night?" the leader drawls, not even trying to conceal his sheer mirth at the situation.

Long night is a huge understatement, and Jihoon shoots Seungcheol an acerbic look that's not nearly as effective as it normally might be. Not when he's still trying to detangle himself from you without waking you up.

"You have no idea," he grumbles under his breath, his eyes flickering down to your exhausted expression as you cling to him.

He can feel the way his heart stutters at your closeness, the way his chest tightens. Not the time, he scolds himself.

"We were working on the album," Jihoon says, as if that explains everything.

He's given up on trying to move, because he knows that if he keeps trying, you're going to stir— and the last thing Jihoon needs is an awake you, all warm and soft and adorably disheveled.

"Can you... leave?" he croaks to Seungcheol. Jihoon's cheeks are tinged with a furious red color; he prays to any deity that Seungcheol will simply chalk it up to shame. "I'll give you details later, just..."

Jihoon shifts minutely, and a muted noise of protest escapes from you. He shuts his eyes and sends a silent plea at the ceiling of Please, God, not now.

Seungcheol, for his part, lets out an amused huff, the corners of his mouth twitching. "Alright, alright," the leader says, holding his hands up to show he's conceding. "I'll leave. I'll talk to you later."

He grins. "And try not to have too much fun, yeah?"

The smirk only widens when he sees the flush on Jihoon's face. The leader saunters out of the studio, the door clicking shut behind him.

And Jihoon is... well... left with you.

Silence descends, and it's deafening.

Jihoon can feel each and every beat of his own heart, can hear your slow, soft breath coming out in steady, even exhales. You're asleep— still clinging on to him, your body pressed firmly against his own— and Jihoon tries not to focus on the feeling, tries not to think about how you're so soft, so warm.

He should move, he thinks. He should untangle from you, put at least two feet of space between you, and yet.

Jihoon can't, not when you look so peaceful against him. Not when you're making little noises every now and then, the soft, low sounds coming from somewhere in your throat.

It's a special kind of torture, having you so close when he knows he can't do a single thing about it. Just a taste, an inkling of closeness— and now he's hooked, wanting for more.

He knows it's selfish, what he's doing. To have his arm wrapped around you, holding you tighter than he should. To relish in your warmth as you sleep— but Jihoon can't help it, not when he knows this might be the only way he could ever get to hold you.

He knows you're not his. You can't be his, for several reasons.

But for this brief, quiet moment in time, you feel like you could be.

There's no way of telling how much longer you stay there. To Jihoon, it feels like an eternity and then some; in reality, it's probably only a couple more minutes. You shift in your sleep, letting out a big yawn. Jihoon tries to not flinch when you stir.

For one ridiculous moment, he considers closing his eyes and pretending to sleep, so he can have a few more seconds, a few minutes longer with you in his arms. But then you're moving again, and Jihoon can feel his heart in his throat as you blink, shifting to look up at him.

"Huh," is the first thing you say as you squint up at him. "Hi."

"Hey," is his lame response, his tone oddly, uncharacteristically soft. He swallows when he catches the way your eyes flicker all over his face, as if drinking him in.

There's a lot to take in, he's sure. His arm is still around your waist and your leg is slotted between his. The blankets are a mess; the noonday sun, peeking through the studio's heavy curtains.

As your mind finally seems to catch up, you let out a groan. "S'rry," you slur, voice still thick with sleep. "We overslept. I'm a bit clingy when 'm tired."

Yeah, right. Clingy is not a strong enough word for what you had become in your sleep.

Jihoon tries to ignore the feeling of your legs tangled together, the way you're practically molding against him. He tries to tamp down the way his breath hitches, to ignore the way his heart skips a beat when you let out a sleep-filled groan.

"You were hanging on to me for your life," he remarks in a tone that is far more amused than exasperated.

"Yeah, I figured," you say wryly, glancing over at the clock to see the damage. Jihoon's eyes follow your gaze. Two in the afternoon. Your shared 'nap' had lasted a full twelve hours.

"Wow," you huff. "We were out for a while."

"That we were," Jihoon agrees, and he's more than a little reluctant when he lets you go, unravelling his own limbs from yours. The space between your bodies feels like a physical blow, but Jihoon tries not to seem too put off by it.

He sits up, running a hand through his hair. "I haven't slept that long since I was a trainee."

"That's unhealthy."

"Pot calling the kettle black."

There's a calculated casualness in your next words. "Did you at least sleep well?"

The slight concern undercutting your tone makes Jihoon rather light-headed. "I slept like the dead," Jihoon answers easily, and he doesn't even have to lie about that.

His rest had been more peaceful than it had been in years, and if he's truthful, he'd blame it all on the fact that you were wrapped so firmly around him, all soft skin and sleepy warmth. You'd fit so perfectly with him and Jihoon is fairly sure he's never going to get the sensation of you pressed against him out of his mind.

A corner of your lip twitches upward. "Don't say that," you tease as you stretch your arms over your head. "Because we may actually be dead soon enough."

There's still an album to finish. A couple more tracks due in mere days. But Jihoon's suddenly feeling much better in a way that he hasn't in a while.

Even the ever-present stress and exhaustion feels almost like an afterthought, like it's barely even there. In the midst of it all, there's only you, still mussed from sleep.

It helps that you're taking the little cuddle session with surprising grace. "Wanna order in breakfast? Lunch?" you inquire, like you can't quite decide what to call your first meal of the day when it was well in the afternoon.

"Breakfast-slash-lunch sounds good to me," he answers, a hint of a smile visible in the curve of his mouth.

You order Chinese food. Something proper and real, a break from the convenience store rice balls and energy drinks. In the time it takes for the takeout to come, you and Jihoon speed through the song that had been plaguing you both last night. It seemed that being well-rested did you both well.

When the food comes, you go to collect it. In your absence, Jihoon finally checks his phone.

Suddenly, the studio feels ice cold, because he has seventy-something unread messages from his group chat with the boys.

He clicks the little arrow that takes him back to the first unread message, and surprise, surprise— it's from Seungcheol. The stolen snap of Jihoon and you cuddled together glares up at the producer, paired with the world's most annoying message.

🍒: Our Woozi-yah's a big boy now. ㅋㅋㅋ

The messages don't stop there, because Seungcheol had essentially given the others the green light to blow his phone up.

Jihoon scrolls through them, his expression growing more and more irritated as he reads through the suggestive and ridiculous messages the boys have chosen to send.

⚔️: Jihoon-ah~ Who knew you had it in you~ 🐈‍⬛: finally! 🦦: LET'S FUCKING GOOOO

Jeonghan, as per usual, is the worst offender of them all. Jihoon is just about to try and get a word in when a new, rapidfire sequence of texts pop up, the second eldest member clearly having entirely too much fun with this.

👼: So cozy, our Jihoon-ie! So cozy ♡ ♡ ♡ 👼: Finally, our Jihoon found himself a pretty girl 👼: We didn't know you were such a cuddler~~~

Jihoon's fingers are itching to reply something back, but it's hard to even make sense of the messages; they're coming in so fast. Every time he tries to type something back, another notification pops up with more texts, so he's forced to sit and watch as the members tease him relentlessly.

But then—

🐱: Cough up @Joshua @Vernon 🐢: dammit. couldn't have waited four months, woozi hyung? -_- 🦌: I didn't lose as much, so it's okay~ 🐯: WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER

The other boys all chime in with their own odds, and Jihoon realizes with horror that his bandmates had bet on him.

The horror quickly morphs into disbelief mingled with irritation.

So they'd bet on him? And on what exactly? That he wouldn't fall for a girl over the course of three years working together?

He doesn't even look at the odds before he types an aggravated reply.

🍚: You guys bet on me???

No one even tries to deny it. Soonyoung, the menace that he is, is the first to respond.

🐯: Not all of us ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ 🐈‍⬛: and it's just if you'd get with your fav producer. lol

It occurs to Jihoon, then and there, that the boys presume him and you are dating. It's a misconception he has to amend before any of the twelve can make some wisecrack about it in front of you.

🍚: We're not dating.

Jihoon doesn't bother to hide his irritability.

🍚: We were just napping together.

It's not the last of it, as it turns out.

More texts flood in after his message, and while there aren't as many jokes as before, it's easy to tell that the members are just dying to tease him about this whole thing.

When you return to the studio bearing your takeout, you're greeted with Jihoon typing furiously away at his phone, a disgruntled sort of look on his face. "You alright over there?" you call out amusedly as you pad over to the studio couch.

"Yes, and no," Jihoon answers shortly, a hint of petulance to his tone. If he looks up at you, it's only for a moment.

For someone who tends to be stoic and brooding, he's not exactly having the best morning right now. Jihoon is more than a little annoyed from the relentless teasing, and while he tries to fight it, there's a lingering feeling of humiliation, too.

A part of him wonders if this is what he deserves— for having had that moment with you this morning.

"Well, whatever it is—" you give a dismissive wave of your hand before plopping down on the couch.

He almost smiles at that; you've known each other for an odd number of years. It was enough time to be fairly acquainted with each other's habits and mannerisms, to know when something was worth pressing in to or not.

"Come on," you urge him. "The faster we eat, the sooner we can finish."

"Okay, yes, I'm coming," Jihoon answers hurriedly, and he makes a hasty beeline for the coffee table, where your takeout boxes are set out neatly.

He gives the group chat a final glance, just to make sure they're not texting anything too embarrassing. The more he scrolls the more he's bombarded with messages about you, and you would have thought the group chat was dedicated entirely to you, considering the number of texts.

He groans and locks his phone, turning it face down on the table as he takes his seat.

"Here," you say as you gently place Jihoon's order in front of him. Chao fan with a side of sweet and sour pork; a can of cola.

The way you seem to automatically know all the things he orders, the way you know what the right order to pick for him is, it almost gives Jihoon the sense that you've been working with him for even longer than three years.

He's not sure what to make of it, but it feels strangely nice, somehow, knowing that there's always something or the other that you would already know. He takes a bite out of his meal, wondering when it was that this relationship of his with you had become so comfortable.

It's an odd sensation, really.

Jihoon had always been more than content to keep to himself. But there's no denying that he feels a certain kind of peaceful contentedness when he's with you.

Perhaps it's how the two of you work so seamlessly together. Perhaps it's how you somehow managed to get under his skin. There's a certain comfort that Jihoon isn't used to having that's settled around the two of you.

And it's the kind of comfort that might make him vulnerable.

He can't have that, so he privately decides to keep you at a distance.

It's a distance you reciprocate. Both Jihoon and you know better than to tread the careful line of your friendship, especially in your line of work.

The two of you work like a well-oiled machine, like a lit match being tossed in a haystack. Jihoon and you are relentless, as always, and you finish off the rest of the mini-album in the next three hours.

There's still fine-tuning to hurdle through, but as Jihoon and you replay the last track for the first time, he has to concede. The worst is over.

You slump forward in your chair, your forehead resting against the work desk of his studio. "Done," you breathe. After a moment, you add, "For now."

"For now," Jihoon echoes.

There's a long pause between the two of you as you both relish the peace and quiet of a fully completed mini-album.

"Let's go for coffee?" he finally asks, glancing to where you're slumped in your chair.

You tilt your head ever so slightly until your cheek is pressed against the desk and you're looking up at Jihoon. You smile ruefully as you speak, your tone almost apologetic. "No to coffee. I think I want to go home and knock out for twelve hours."

You go on, "You should do the same. We've been in this studio for…" You pause like you're doing the mental math, and then a disbelieving laugh slides past your lips. "About thirty-three hours, Jihoon-ah."

Thirty-three hours is almost incomprehensible. Jihoon isn't even surprised, because of course, that's the kind of work ethic you've come to expect from an idol— but, thirty-three hours?

Jihoon's head is spinning. There's a strange, odd kind of haze settling around him, almost like he's caught between a dream and consciousness. He's tired, yes, he's more than tired, but Jihoon knows that he doesn't really need to go home to sleep.

Except he can't say no, not when your words are coming with all the weight of a command, not when you're looking at him like he's some helpless, pitiful wreck, needing some sort of care. He hates it.

He hates that you see him.

"Okay, okay," Jihoon says in a rush, standing from his chair. "I'll go home."

He's always known that any work done with you ends with him doing exactly as you say. You might have never said the words to his face before, but Jihoon isn't an idiot.

He's wrapped around your goddamn finger some days.

The thought that he's now more than willing to do whatever you want from him has never occurred to him before now, and it leaves him feeling slightly shaken, slightly unsure of everything.

It takes you both about ten minutes or so to get everything in order, then another seven minutes to head out of the company building. The relief Jihoon feels as you finally find yourselves outside is immense, even if it is a chilly, early winter evening.

You glance at your wristwatch before distractedly asking him, "You'll be okay behind the wheel?"

"'Course," he says as he fishes for his keys. For a moment, he contemplates asking if you want a ride home. It'd be out of his way, but it's something he's almost willing to bear.

Almost.

Instead, he forces himself to say, "See you. Take care."

You give the same pleasantries back before beginning your trek to the train station. Jihoon, for his part, finds his car in his designated parking space.

The drive home is the most boring and uneventful thing ever— except when Jihoon looks in his rearview mirror. The sight of you disappearing into the distance makes him feel strangely hollow and a bit wistful.

His stomach gives a weird, twisting lurch, and he's tempted to make a U turn right there and then and find a reason to be back in his company.

Maybe he'll tell you just how alone he can sometimes feel after an album is completed. How there's always this sort of lull in the days, hours after his work; how he fights it off by doing more work, even if it's not all that necessary.

He wants to ask if you ever feel the same way, too.

But you had never really been a part of that loneliness, and now you were leaving. And— just for the night— Jihoon can't help but feel more lonely than ever.

He doesn't want to be lonely.

He wants to be left alone, in a company of his own thoughts, with nothing and no one to distract him. But, for some odd reason, he wants you around.

It's almost too much to bear, so Jihoon turns the radio on louder and lets the sounds of music drown out the patter of his ragged heartbeat.

Jihoon and you are forced to reconvene a couple of days later, albeit on circumstances that neither of you are particularly fond of.

Sungsoo, the company's CEO and executive producer, is already seated at the head of the table when you walk in. Jihoon sees the way your eyes scan the meeting room; he tries not think too much of the way the tension in your shoulders seem to ease when you spot him.

The sight of you makes Jihoon's heart do a little dance, which makes him want to both pull you close and run far, far away from you.

For now, he just gives you a nod of acknowledgement and shifts his eyes back to the older man sitting across the meeting table from the both of them.

You sit across from Jihoon. Sungsoo doesn't even bother to sit; he merely launches straight in to his agenda.

"Good work on SEVENTEENTH HEAVEN," Sungsoo says right off the bat. Jihoon knows it's more of a cursory greeting than anything; there was always going to be more than just a pleasant compliment.

The other shoe drops soon enough. "I think there's more work to be done, though, specifically on three tracks," the CEO presses on.

Three tracks.

Jihoon feels his jaw clamp tightly. He's been through these kinds of corrections before, of course, both from himself and the company. Sungsoo says things about the lyrics of Back 2 Back, and the organization of Yawn, and the chorus of Diamond Days.

And while Jihoon has been through this, has needed to take things apart or put stuff together to appease the higher-ups, it's never any easier. His hands are clasped tight, and he's trying his best to hold himself together, but on the inside, he wants to scream.

This is a part of him. These are all parts of him, big and small, and it's always just a bit of a jab— to have his heart put in someone else's hand, and then to watch that heart be poked and prodded for the sake of... what? Commercial gain?

At one point, Sungsoo pauses to look between Jihoon and you. "Are you not going to take notes?" the older man asks.

You respond before Jihoon can. "Rewrite the second half of Back 2 Back, tweak the instrumentation balance and structure of Yawn, adjust the rhythm for Diamond Days' chorus," you rattle off. "I— we got it, sir."

"Right. Good," he says, and Jihoon doesn't like the condescending tone that Sungsoo uses with you, but at least it's not aimed at him.

The older man sits back in his chair, and Jihoon lets his eyes drift away from the company boss just for a moment to look at you. A strange feeling fills him. He wants to name it appreciation, wants to claim it's nothing more than a little admiration.

But then he'd be lying to himself. Because that warm kind of feeling shifts into— just a little— something a bit more than what he's supposed to be feeling for a co-producer.

Before he could dwell on this thought any longer, Sungsoo clears his throat and Jihoon quickly tunes back in. He's not thinking about that right now, and that's final.

The meeting wraps up not too long after with some parting reminders on deadlines and the upcoming comeback. Jihoon can tell by the look on your face that you're a bit dazed, and Sungsoo's parting words only add gasoline to the fire.

The CEO says both your names as he readies to dismiss you. "The two of you are a good pair," he notes, and Jihoon almost short-circuits.

Pair.

Right. A good pair of co-producers. Not anything else, not anything more.

Both of you mumble your appreciation for the CEO's remark. And Jihoon, like the fool that he is, feels that warm, fuzzy glow bloom again. He doesn't care what it signifies; at the moment, he's just too happy to work with you again.

By the time you head back to his studio, there's not much that either of you can really say. Marathon edits were not new to either of you; you both slide in to work mode without much preamble.

The music starts playing and the edits start pouring in, and the five or six hours spent on the three tracks fly by without Jihoon even noticing it. It gets to the point where he's working on autopilot— one hand on the mouse, fingers flying across the keyboard.

The thing about working on autopilot was that it made the process quicker but left little room to feel or think, which was both a blessing and a curse.

At the six-hour mark, he finally deigns to glance at you. Your gaze is focused on the digital audio workstation as you cut some low frequencies from the guitar on Diamond Days, but there's a slight quiver in your hands as you do it.

While Jihoon doesn't see what you're having trouble with, he can sense that you're off. He knows the signs of stress and exhaustion better than most, what with the hours he puts in.

"Aigo," he calls out to you, and his voice is a little raspy— hoarse— because he's been humming and singing for the better half of the evening. "Are you okay?"

"Still in the green," you say wryly. You had a bit of a traffic light system to refer to when talking about how far gone either of you were.

He watches intently as you implement the changes to Diamond Days, as you give a disapproving shake of your head at the revision. Still not to your standard.

Of course you wouldn't be at the red light stage— not even close, he muses. But in Jihoon's head, there was already one foot on the red light spectrum— and it wasn't just because of the revisions.

"Let's take a break," he suggests.

The idea comes out of absolutely nowhere, even for him. A break—? When was the last time he had voluntarily done that?

Jihoon's been having more questions than answers lately, but he just chalks it all up to being stressed. And maybe a little tired.

Anything except what it really is.

This time, you actually do glance up from the workstation. There's mild surprise on your expression as you tease, "Yah, who are you and what have you done to the indomitable WOOZI?"

"Huh?" he deflects. For a brief moment, he almost feels a little shy around you.

"I'm just bored," he explains, and he's surprised that he can lie so well and sound so casual. "You don't need to come if you don't want to. I just wanted to get some air."

But of course you're coming, already pushing back against the table at the rare invite from Jihoon. "The usual?" you prompt.

To others, a 'usual' might have indicated a trip to the cafeteria, a smoke break on the sidewalk. But Jihoon and you both hated the company's food and neither of you smoked, and so your breaks were spent somewhere a little more unorthodox.

"The usual," he agrees.

He leads you across the company building, the walk to your destination full of comfortable silence. Eventually, you make it to your designated break place: The company's rooftop.

Jihoon takes his usual seat at the far end while you sit closer to the ledge. The atmosphere is thick and humid from the weather, but there's a breeze to keep the heat bearable.

When Jihoon said he wanted to get some air, he meant it quite literally.

He doesn't want to give away his real intentions on calling for the break. Still, he can't help the question that slides out of him as he watches the glittering lights of Seoul beneath the two of you.

"Are you feeling better now?" he asks, glancing at you.

"I am," you answer quietly, your gaze still fixed on the city. "Thanks, Jihoon-ah. I needed this."

He almost smiles. "Of course."

This was the first time since he's met you that he'd asked you to do something just because he thought you needed it. And it isn't long until that fact has Jihoon wondering why the heck he's been putting things off so much lately.

He doesn't get to mull over his thoughts for long though— not when there's a sudden urge to do another thing that he realizes he hasn't ever done.

He takes out his phone and opens up the camera app. "Yah," he calls. "Look here for a second."

You do as he asks, glancing over your shoulder, and the soft click of his phone breaks through the white noise of the city below. When you let out a surprised laugh, he thinks it's the second best thing he's ever heard. Only after music.

"What are you doing?" you chide, a bit of a giggle in your tone as you raise your hand— palm facing Jihoon— to your face, as if trying to shy away from the camera.

"I don't know," he admits. A laugh tumbles out of him, and he knows he's blushing— but he's not ashamed of it this time, not really.

"It doesn't have to mean anything," he assures you. He holds in a chuckle at the way you're blocking your face and snaps another picture.

Maybe he's delirious from all his work. That has to be it, he thinks, as he clicks away despite your sputtered protests.

"Alright, fine," you huff, feigning annoyance. And then— oh.

You brace your hands against the ledge and tilt your head to one side so you can flash Jihoon an easy, practiced grin. "Cheese," you sing-song.

It takes quite a lot of willpower for Jihoon not to just sit and stare, that strange feeling welling inside of him coming to fore. He's not proud of it, but it's there, and the fact that there's something about you that makes him feel this way makes everything a little bit more complicated.

"Cheese," he agrees, taking just one more picture of you.

He knows he's smiling too hard, his eyes turning in to crescents with just how damn fond he feels to be snapping photos at your side.

You can never tell from the expression on his face, but he's wrecked with the knowledge that he had just done three things he had never done before:

He's asked you to do something solely because he thought you needed it.

He's taken a picture of you (with your knowledge, this time).

And he's let this thing he has for you be so in control of him.

It's a damning thing, he muses as he tucks his phone away. What would happen next was up to the universe.

Admittedly, it almost all felt like a test, and Jihoon is terrified he had failed.

But then you reach out, your hand casually resting atop of Jihoon's. You don't clasp your hands together or intertwine your fingers. You merely keep it there as you cast your gaze back down at the city, like you're giving Jihoon a chance to pull away.

It's almost instinctual, how he turns his hand over and links his fingers together with yours. His fingers are longer, so your fingertips curl over his and you’re left holding his hand for the first time.

You don't say a thing about it. Jihoon tries to rationalize the action on your behalf. Maybe you're just delirious and tired, too. Maybe it's cold and you need something to hold on to. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

All the while, his heart thumps in his chest.

Did he even deserve this? Was this okay?

Would it be okay if he just sat there, looking down onto the city, holding your hand and nothing more?

His brain refrains the earlier remark he'd given you. It doesn't have to mean anything. It's just a hand in his, a quiet evening, a moment that will eventually pass.

It doesn't have to mean anything, but why does Jihoon want it to?

Back in the studio, neither of you say a word. Not about the photos of you that Jihoon now has in his phone; not about the way you initiated holding his hand. Not about how the two of you held on for just a bit too long before heading back from your break.

The two of you do what you do best: You throw ourselves in to the last of your work.

It takes you two a record of fifteen minutes to fix what had been wrong with Diamond Days, and then some twenty more minutes to make sure the three other tracks are alright. Jihoon does the honors of sending them over to Sungsoo for some final checks.

Once the email goes through, you lean back in to the couch of Jihoon's studio. "And now we wait," you exhale, sounding equally exhausted and elated.

With your work for the day done, it feels like whatever veil of formality had held the mini-album together is broken— and you're now just two people in Jihoon's workplace, tired, and done working for the day.

Jihoon stretches his arms out and sags against his chair, letting out a groan.

"And now we wait," he repeats. A beat, as he keeps his eyes trained to the ceiling. Then, softly, he adds, "You did good, you know."

He sees you glancing at him from the corner of his eyes. "You, too," you offer quietly, sincerely. "You did well, Jihoon-ah."

His eyes remain on the ceiling, his mind taking him back to how it felt when your hand rested atop of his. It had felt strange and it had felt good— and the fact that you'd so boldly initiated it in the first place made it even better.

The thought that there was a possibility of it being a one-time thing made him almost want to cry, for whatever reason.

It's just so weird, and Jihoon has never felt like this before. He's never caught in a complicated sort of feeling like this. But the way you'd held his hand was different— and the more thoughts he thought about it, he realized that your touch was different from the touch of anyone else's.

"Can we talk for a second?" is all he finds himself able to ask, and it's a surprise to him— considering how much the two of you have never talked about things that were just about you and him.

Still, he wonders that perhaps now, with everything that's happened here, there was something he needed to tell you. Something he wanted you to know.

He hears you shifting on the couch, spots a corner of your lip quirking upward in a show of interest. When he fully turns to look at you, he notices the way you've braced yourself against the back of the couch to meet his gaze.

"Sure," you say. "What's on your mind?"

Jihoon rubs his hand over his mouth as he thinks of a way to articulate his thoughts.

There are so many words here that don't need to be said. There are some words that he wants to say but that you simply don't need to hear.

There were a lot of things he wanted to say, but he needed to filter them very well because he wasn't sure if they'd cause a misunderstanding.

"I'd like to keep doing this," is what eventually comes out.

His fingers find his earlobe out of nervousness. His heartrate only seems to spike when you stare back at him for a moment, your eyebrows raised like you're waiting to see if he'll elaborate.

And so elaborate he does. "All of this," he goes on. "Producing for the group, collaborating with you, just… seeing you and talking to you and… having you around."

It feels a bit weird to express after three years of working alongside each other, but it's also the first explicit admittance Jihoon has made abut wanting to keep up your collaboration.

He's not surprised when you try to pass it off with some humor. "I'll stick around for as long as you'll have me," you say almost jokingly, but there's almost a desperate weight of truth in your words.

Jihoon sighs, his expression tightening. There was a whole lot he wanted to say to you— he wanted to make a lot of things very clear— but he also wanted to keep whatever was blooming between the two of you going.

He tries not to dwell on it. Not now, with his feelings as fresh as they were.

"I've been thinking," he starts, his voice quieter now. "Maybe we could… get to know each other or something. Spend the day together— away from the company. Away from this life. Just as… two normal adults."

Another pause.

"Are you asking me out on a date, Jihoon-ah?" you kid after a torturous minute.

Jihoon goes quiet for a moment, the gears turning in his head.

He really was asking you out on a date, wasn't he? How would he even spin this as something simple and innocent?

What had he been expecting in return when he asked you? Why did he ask in the first place if it wasn't to actually find out who you were and why you were the only person he could really say he wanted to spend time with?

Questions, no answers. He's going to go insane.

"You know what," he blurts out before he can lose his nerve. "Yeah. Yes, I am asking you out on a date."

You're both stunned in to silence, and you look like you're just about to say what you should. A 'no'. Something about this not being proper.

But then there's a faint ding from Jihoon's laptop, and he glances over just in time to see that Sungsoo had responded in the affirmative to your revisions for the group's eleventh mini-album.

A stuttering, relieved breath escapes you. Jihoon, for his part, lets out a huff, his shoulders falling. He hadn't even meant to ask you out on a date; he was only going to ask you to spend the day with him.

Now, though, it was out in the open. And he'll be damned to take it back.

"Looks like we're free now," he muses, far too prideful to let Sungsoo derail this conversation. Jihoon's voice is edged with hope as he goes on, "So, what do you say?"

Jihoon has no way of knowing this, but you admire his persistence. When you laugh, it's what changes your mind, what privately convinces you to take him up on his offer.

Because Jihoon had still somehow managed to make you laugh despite it all.

"You know what? Okay," you say readily, one shoulder raising in half a shrug. "Let's go on a date next week, Jihoon-ah."

It would definitely beat sitting in Jihoon's studio, alone and bored, until Sungsoo had sent over their next project.

"Okay," he repeats, his lips curling in a tentative smile. "I'll let you know what plans I come up with, then."

"Alright." You're already rising from the studio couch, preparing to take your leave for the evening.

As you gather your things, Jihoon tries to look back at his workstation instead. Like the sight of it might somehow give him the answers to where to take you, what to do, how to go about all this.

You pause at the door of his studio. "Text me," you say.

It's nothing short of a miracle, how Jihoon is able to respond "I will."

And then you're gone, but the loss doesn't feel as prominent as it usually does. Because now, Jihoon has something to look forward to.

He doesn't remember the last time he allowed himself to be so selfish.

His thoughts over the next few days are consumed with the upcoming date.

Everything he does seems to center around how the date will go, where he'll bring you, and how he would survive a day in your presence without completely humiliating himself.

He takes his time planning. By the time next week rolls around, he's a mess.

His ears are burning as he dials your number and presses the call button.

Your tone is casual on the other line. "Hey, Jihoon-ah," you greet. "What's up?"

Jihoon takes a moment to just hear your voice. He internally groans at how a simple what's up already has his heart rate picking up like nobody's business.

"Hey," he finally says after he gathers himself, his free hand shoving into his pocket. He's pacing his apartment bedroom, fighting for his life to keep calm. "I… just wanted to call about tomorrow."

When you respond, your voice is cautious. "Sure. What about tomorrow?"

There's a slight pause again, and Jihoon can already feel the sweat forming on the inside of his palm.

Surely, you wouldn't think he was calling to cancel? Why would he have waited until the day before?

"Just needed to ask you about something," he admits, his free hand coming up to fiddle with the hair on one side of his ear. "I just wanted to… ask a question. Uh…"

"What… are you going to be wearing?" he finally spits out, his face already going red as the words leave his mouth.

Why the fuck can't he be cool about this? Why can't he be casual and chill about the date and about seeing you? It's so goddamn frustrating— he needed to get a handle on himself and soon, he thinks with despair.

"Oh. Uh…" From the other end of the phone, you seem to be shuffling around. "I was actually going to ask what our plans were," you admit rather meekly. "So I can dress accordingly."

Jihoon's eyes widen, and for a moment, he feels even more like an idiot than he usually does.

You had no idea where you were going, he realizes, and as a result— you had no idea what to wear.

"Oh… right," he says, mentally facepalming himself. He was supposed to be the one giving you information, not the other way around. "Yeah, okay. That makes sense."

He takes a second or two to collect himself, because— God, he did not want to mess this up. If you found out about the amount of work and effort he'd put in this thing, you'd definitely laugh at him.

"Nothing too formal, but don't be super casual," he says slowly. "You'll want a jacket, maybe. And wear comfortable shoes."

He takes another deep breath, steadying himself before he adds, "And I'm going to pick you up at ten. Is that alright?"

Jihoon's instructions are a touch on the vague side, but you don't seem to mind as you let out a huff of amused laughter. "Dress warm, comfortable jacket and shoes, ten in the morning," you repeat. "Okay. Got it."

You go on, "I'll text you my address. I— we've known each other so long, but I don't think you've ever come over, have you?"

Another good point. Jihoon and you spent most of your time at the company. There were rare occasions where you'd join the group's post-comeback celebrations with the rest of the staff, but those were always at some rented-out restobar.

"Yeah. Well. Just text me, then," he says lamely, already mentally berating himself for how much of a fool he's acting. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow, Jihoon-ah," you bid, and he can hear the smile in your voice.

Just like that, Jihoon's heart rate picks up again— except this time, it's not just nervousness he feels.

There's that strange sense of anticipation, the slight thrill of excitement he gets with the mere thought of seeing you the next day, and he nearly lets out an exhale to quell all those feelings.

"See you," he says finally, his voice barely above a murmur.

And then suddenly— he's hanging up, the realization of everything finally settling on him. This was actually happening.

He sits on his bed for a moment, just mulling over the conversation, before he lets himself fall back onto the mattress in horror. He had just hung up, hadn't he? Did he even say goodbye? Did he even say something nice? He was a mess.

He lets out a long, pitiful whine in to a pillow as he wonders for a second or two if he should call back just to say good night to you properly.

In the end, he decides against it. He didn't want to come off as desperate and it was pretty likely that he'd just dig a deeper hole for himself.

Still, he can't help but let out an annoyed, strangled sound as he turns to look at the ceiling.

He was going to have to put a lot of effort if he didn't want to embarrass the hell out of himself.

Come the next day, Jihoon is standing outside your apartment at exactly ten in the morning.

He knocks almost tentatively, and he's only a little surprised that you swing the door open without missing a beat.

You flash him a smile in greeting. "Come in," you say, ushering him in to what he can only describe as uncharted territory. "Can I get you something to drink? Water, juice?"

He's so tripped up over how you look— the smart-casual outfit, focused on warmth, as he'd advised— that he almost misses the offer.

"Ah," he stutters. Barely a minute in and I'm already done for, he thinks ruefully. "Do you have— cola?"

You give a small sound of assent as you move further in to your apartment, towards what he assumes is the kitchen. "Make yourself at home," you call, and Jihoon is left to bear witness to your space.

It looks very much like that of an artist's. There's floor-to-ceiling corkboards on almost every wall and a blackboard full of chalk markings— bearing everything from concepts to half-finished lyrics.

You have bookshelves groaning under the weight of music albums— Jihoon sees a number of SEVENTEEN's— and instruments crammed in to nooks and crannies.

He suddenly remembers how, for some reason, you had never really let him come over to your apartment before. And now, he understands why, because your apartment almost felt like a reflection of your own brain— chaotic, but brilliant. It was a creative genius's studio, and it was more than just a little bit captivating.

You return with a can of Coke. "It's a lot, isn't it?" you muse.

Jihoon shakes his head. It is a lot. But also— he knows how gifted you are, knows how driven you can be. Seeing it here, so openly on display, has something stammering in his chest.

"Is this all your work?" he asks a moment later, still glancing around. "Is this… everything you've been working on? You've been keeping it here?"

"Not all of us have separate studios," you shoot back. There's an easy smile on your face, indicating that you're just teasing.

When you seem to realize that your initial jab hasn't answered Jihoon's question, you amend, "It's not all of my work. You should see my childhood bedroom back in Jeju."

"Jesus," he says with a slight chuckle, his fingers pressing around the metal of his soda can.

He doesn't know why the thought of your childhood room in Jeju having more of this surprises him. But, then again, that was just the kind of person you were. An ambitious, freethinking, creative genius, the same qualities he'd grown to appreciate over time.

And now he was about to go on a date with you. How the hell had he gotten this lucky?

He isn't quite sure what compels him. All he knows is that the question, almost rhetorical in nature, is out of his mouth before he can reel it back in.

"You really love music, don't you?"

The question seems to throw you off-kilter, but you recover surprisingly fast. You're thoughtfully smoothing out the patches on your denim jacket as you retort, "I love it about as much as you do."

If it had been any other person, Jihoon might have scoffed, might have privately thought they were cocky or just outright lying. But it's you, and his heart twists in to a knot at the thought of how willing he is to accept that cardinal truth.

That you and him loved music in equal measure.

In a hopeless attempt to collect himself, he shoots back his soda in several big gulps. The carbonated drink burns as it goes down his throat; he forces it to stay down.

"We should probably get going," he prompts once he's done with his drink.

"Right, of course."

You go to throw away his empty soda can for him, and the way you move makes it abundantly clear that you're unaware of the effect you have on him.

As the two of you step out of your apartment and find your way to Jihoon's car, he can only hope that it won't be that long of an afternoon.

Despite the way he keeps both hands on the steering wheel, Jihoon can still feel the nerves racing up and down his spine. He's nervous, excited, his emotions a mess as he tries to get himself together.

He can't believe that after years of talking about music and just working together, after all this goddamn time, you were finally going on a date together.

The car radio is just a touch too loud, which is to be expected, considering that it was Jihoon's vehicle. You have to pitch your voice above it to be audible.

"Where are we going?" you ask as he peels in to traffic.

"You'll see when we get there," he responds.

The disapproving pinch of your expression draws a laugh out of him. He doesn't give you the opportunity to press any longer as he fiddles with the radio dial, upping the volume just a touch more.

He'd planned this date carefully after spending far too much time agonizing over all the details. He was damned if he wasn't going to keep some things in the dark.

It's a quiet drive for the most part, with only the radio keeping the silence from being too deafening. But, frankly, Jihoon isn't too bothered by the silence because it gives him ample time to collect his thoughts, to try not to focus on the way your hand is right there, a few inches away from his on the gear shift.

He keeps his eyes on the road, keeps his expression neutral, and keeps his cards as close to his chest as possible.

Once Jihoon is finally pulling in to a parking lot, he manages to find his voice. "We're here," he notes, like it's not the most obvious thing in the world.

He waits a moment for you to also unbuckle your seatbelts, and only then does he climb out of the car. He quickly walks around to your side, pulling open the door for you and gesturing for you to follow him as he crosses the parking lot.

"What is 'here', exactly?" you ask Jihoon as you walk up to the building in front of you. It looks rather unassuming; nothing on the outside giving out what it might be. Just white walls and a sign outside that's still too far to read.

Jihoon catches the way you try to make out the sign, and he can't help but find himself feeling a touch flustered because goddammit, was he allowed to find everything you did endearing?

He clears his throat before finally answering. "A planetarium."

Now, Jihoon definitely doesn't miss the way your eyes widen, nor the small tone of excitement that betrays the otherwise casualness of your voice.

"That's cool," you say with your hands shoved in to the pockets of your jacket. "Never been to one before."

He can clearly see how excited you'd gotten just at hearing where he'd brought you. And, frankly, it just makes his pulse race all that much more.

"Well, let's go in and have a look then, shall we?" he offers, his voice a little on the quieter side as he tries valiantly to not mimic your excitement.

As you approach the building façade, the signage comes in to better view. It boasts of an immersive planetarium experience, but what stops you dead in your tracks is a note tacked on the front door.

Closed for a private event.

"Oh?" you're saying, a slight edge of disappointment in your tone. "It's looks like it's—"

But before you can finish your sentence, the door is pulling open, and an important-looking man— the manager— is already stepping up to address Jihoon.

"Mr. Lee, right on time," the employee greets with a bow. "We've set everything up for you."

The oh that escapes you, this time, is a lot softer.

Jihoon can't help the small grin that immediately works its way across his lips at your reaction. He'd been hoping to catch you by surprise, and he can tell that it worked.

He gives a polite, somewhat formal half-bow in return to the manager before glancing over his shoulder to you. There's a hint of smugness in his voice as his gaze lands on you again. "C'mon," he says as he starts making his way in to the planetarium.

The inside is mostly dark; Jihoon gives his eyes a moment to adjust to the change. There's no one else here but the two of you, and Jihoon isn't really complaining about the emptiness. It just means he can have you all to himself, without having to worry about having anyone else around.

He can hear your footsteps, following behind him, and he has to mentally remind himself to keep himself together before he finally glances over his shoulder at you.

"Surprised?" he teases, the ghost of a smirk making its way on to his face.

He revels in the look of awe on your face, the way you all but ignore him to pull a couple of steps ahead. You're surveying the lobby like it's already the main exhibit, and Jihoon has the sudden urge to rent out every gallery in Seoul for you to see.

Your next words are one-two punch on Jihoon's poor, poor heart. "I think you've got some nerve, Jihoon-ah, pulling out all the stops on our first date," you muse, your face still upturned to the entryway.

Jihoon almost trips right over his own two feet as the casualness of your words registers in his mind.

Multiple dates. You were implying that there might be multiple dates to follow. That you wanted there to be multiple dates.

He takes a quick breath, trying to maintain any semblance of a nonchalant attitude as he responds. "What?" he says, the smirk just a touch more shaky on his lips. "You think this is 'going all out'?"

He continues to walk, catching up to you a few moments later. "I'm offended. How dare you think that I'd settle for anything less than perfection."

"If this isn't 'all out' yet for you," you quip. "I'm a bit nervous as to what is."

He only responds with a small chuckle. "You'll see."

He leads you to the next room over, and this particular one is far more darker. The only source of light is from the projector against the back wall, projecting a constellation map on the opposite wall.

Jihoon glances over his shoulder once more, watching the small look of wonder on your face. He leads you to a small couch in the center of the room before sitting comfortably beside you on it.

His face is partially illuminated by the lights of the projector, and he can clearly see the way you're taking in everything around him.

"You like it, hm?" he gently prods, watching you again.

It's a lot to take in, honestly. The high ceiling, the projected constellations, the lights dancing across both your faces. Even the way the room has been rearranged— the single plush couch, the type that allows you to recline and gaze up at the faux sky of constellations— is all so damn good.

"I like it," you concede, your voice barely above a murmur. You speak like you're scared that talking any louder will break an illusion. "It's— yah, Jihoon-ah. It's so pretty."

In that moment, Jihoon almost forgets how to breathe.

There's something so soft and gentle and fond to your voice as you speak, and the way your words came out almost reverently does something to Jihoon that he couldn't quite explain.

"Pretty," he repeats, eyes still trained on you. "It is, isn't it?"

The two of you sit in comfortable silence for a long time; Jihoon still watching you instead of the exhibit. You didn't just say it was pretty. You'd said it with words and tone and expression that told him just how much you loved it.

Christ, he was a goner. He was far gone for you.

After what feels like both an eternity and a second at the same time, Jihoon finally shifts his gaze away from you, glancing up at the ceiling above him. He's quiet for a few more moments before he finally speaks again.

"Y'know…" He starts, the sound of his voice just a touch quieter than usual. "When I was a kid, I always thought the stars were my favorite thing."

Jihoon glances over at you again, noticing the way you were still practically enchanted by the projected stars above you. It makes him bite back a small, amused smile, before he continues.

"I used to sit out in the field by my house and count them, name them, make up my own stories for each of them. I thought they were the most magical, most incredible things in the whole universe."

He thinks of his home back in Busan, the way the moon reflected over the sea water. He thinks of a version of him from lifetimes ago— a boy he'll never be again.

He almost misses him.

Jihoon lets out a soft huff. "And then I got older, and life got really shitty and busy, and..." His voice falters a bit. "The stars were no longer as important to me as they were before."

He exhales, the sound filling the quiet room. He can feel you listening, can feel you taking in every sincere word of his. And that's enough. That means something.

"But..." He goes on quietly. "Sometimes, there are moments that come, and the only things that matter are the stars again."

It's just like Jihoon to spew something poetic without pretense or shame. In his peripheral, he sees you glancing at him, and it takes everything for him to not let this feeling overwhelm him.

"I hope you have more moments like that, then," you say, your voice equally soft.

There was something so endearing about the sentiment you'd said, and he knew that you meant every word of it. And that made it all so much worse for his heart.

He's so whipped, it almost makes him want to laugh.

This is one of those moments, he almost says. Even if it's not real stars.

He can't help it anymore. Despite all the times he's had to keep up his usually cool, calm demeanor with you, despite his usual attitude, despite his usual shyness, the urge is just too much and—

He slides his arm around your shoulders, pulling you a little closer.

That was one thing the stars could do: Give him a bit of courage.

When you don't resist his gentle tugging, he figures he can do just one more thing.

His free hand moves to your chin, gently coaxing your head up so that you’re looking at a specific point up at the ceiling.

You're so focused on the stars, you barely even register the sound of Jihoon’s voice again.

"The most special stars," he murmurs. "They all have names."

He’s still speaking into your ear, and you can feel his warm breath against your skin. "That one," he says, his voice like gravel. He slowly, carefully tilts your chin up just a little more. Coaxing you to look up even further. "Is my favorite."

His calmness is belied by the fact that his heart is a jackhammer in his chest. All he can do, really, is try to get you to look at one of the larger stars that's almost dead center in the middle.

"Why is it your favorite?" you inquire, the genuine curiosity in your tone almost mistakable for breathlessness.

"It's the brightest star in the entire sky." His gaze darts between the star and your face, the shadows of the room hiding the way his chest tightens at the sight of you listening intently. "It's called Sirius."

His voice is still soft, but there's a new note to it that you've never heard before. It's quiet, reverent, almost like he's about to tell you a secret.

"The Romans called it the 'dog star'," he continues. "Because it's the brightest star in Canis Major, the big dog constellation."

He lowers his head a little so that his chin is almost resting on your shoulder, and his arm around your shoulders tightens just a fraction.

"But to the Chinese, it was known as the 'heavenly river commander'," he goes on. "And the Arabs called it the 'chief star in heaven'."

Jihoon is getting nervous, now, but he has to do this. He has to.

It feels like the first flicker of a neon sign as he goes on, "To all those different people, it was all of those things. To me—"

He pauses, feeling the words stick in his Adam's apple.

The brightest star in the night sky.

For the longest time, Jihoon had wondered whether he would find something to call it, too. The closest he's come has been the boys, his music.

But that felt like an understatement. They weren't just a group, after all; they were his whole life. And so it was more apt to describe them as the universe, as the entire planetarium.

Which left him with the brightest star—

"To you?" you repeat, tilting your head back to meet Jihoon's gaze head on.

"What's it called to you?" you prompt.

In the relative darkness, he can't read you as well as he might have wanted.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't change what's he's going to say, anyway.

He gives you his answer—

He says your name.

And then he leans in— his heart at your feet, all yours for the taking.

[kissitbttr]

dilf!toji giving you a ride back to the party

a small follow up from this !

|

there has been times where you fantasize about hot older men with your friends. all of you agree that they are just better at everything.

you remember this one time when you had a crush on the first older guy you had found attractive. he was your dad’s closest friend. you had always loved admiring him from afar, undressing him with your eyes, imagining how he’d look as he fucks you in your bed. sadly, he’s married. which means, you can’t do anything about it.

one of your friends encouraged you to break it up though, steal him away from his wife in which you reply with a disgusting look on your face. because never in a million years you would stoop that low.

no guys ever came close as your dad’s best friend after that. dismissing every single college guys who tried to get into your pants, tossing every written numbers on a paper from them into a trash can. your ex was the only exception though. why? because he was two years older than you. that counts for something, right?

until now.

you sit rather quiet nervously in the passenger’s seat. fingers drumming slightly against your thick thighs, stealing glances every now and then at the handsome stranger who offered you a ride before,

and boy, does he look so hot doing it.

he leans comfortably against the seat with one hand on the wheel while the other perched on his thigh. looking like a perfect dream

dear god, please do not make me wet tonight

“thank you for the food, sir. i love it” you give him a smile, shoving another fry into your mouth. “i’m starving”

toji cranes his neck to look at you, mirroring your smile. “i thought i told you to call me toji?”

“oh yeah! sorry, i forgot!” you let out a nervous giggle, finger toying with the skirt of your dress. discreetly pulling it down further since it keeps riding up,

“i didn’t catch your name though. mind telling me?” he starts, putting his focus back on the road while taking a turn,

“i’m y/n” you respond to the beautiful dark haired man,

“pretty name for a pretty girl” he compliments, grinning widely at you. chuckling after seeing you blush. “still in college?”

you nod. “mhmm!”

“you like it?”

“pft! as if!” you roll your eyes, making him laugh at your comment. “college is insanity. too much work, but the parties help”

“i bet” he replies, head shaking. “is it like a regular thing?”

“kind of. we always do it once a week, or twice…? can’t exactly count. the frats usually the one who held it, so I can’t really tell” you shrug your shoulders, eyes looking over to the window. “what about you, sir-toji?”

he snorts, running his fingers over his hair and you almost let out a soft gasp.“oh I don’t party, sweetheart. i’m too old for that.”

“can’t be that old” you giggle, reaching out to poke his side with a finger. you don’t know where that confidence comes from, could be from alcohol,

toji raises an eyebrow at the sudden touch, but makes no comment. “i’m pushing 40, so definitely old” he smirks at you,

40..?

oh…

a look of surprise is taking over your face. “really?” you see him nod again in confirmation. “you don’t look like you’re that old”

“how old did you think i am?”

“hmm, 27?”

he barks a laugh, and you never heard something so pretty. “now you’re just being polite, sweetheart”

god, he really is making you swoon with all the terms of endearment . you wonder if he’s married or taken,

“are you single?”

he’s taken aback at the question, eyebrow raising. “why, want to take me out on a date?”

giggling, you toss a hair behind your shoulder before shrugging it. shifting your body to completely facing him now. “maybeee”

toji only laughs at your confidence. the small pouty look you’re giving just makes him want to give you a peck on the lips. maybe two.

you’re so damn cute, he’d give you that.

“yes, i am. divorced about two years ago.”

“oh… what happened? if you don’t mind me asking.”

he shrugs like it’s nothing. “didn’t work out. the whole marriage was draining me. but i got a little boy who i love dearly and would tear down the whole fucking sky for”

he’s got a kid?! holyshit,

“how old is he?”

“just turned two last month” he smiles at the thought of his little megumi sleeping soundly back home. “how about you, sweetheart? got marriage written down on your plan?”

“oh of course! it’s definitely on my bucket list!” you sigh dreamily at the thought of you walking down the aisle. “not any time soon though! i like being like this for a moment”

“good. you enjoy that while it lasts.” he advises. “hate to overstep, but what’s the deal with your ex before?”

hearing that makes your smile drop and body slouch. eyes dropping down to your lap. “oh..”

toji senses that bubbly personality of your is wearing off soon as he mentions that, which causes him to panic. “shit, I didn’t mean to make you sad, darling. sorry. you don’t have to explain”

you shake your head, clearing your throat. “no, no! it’s fine it was just—“ you cut yourself with a sad sigh. “he wanted.. to have sex with me at the party but.. i didn’t want to.. because we were drunk! and it wouldn’t be right for us to do it while we’re drunk, right?! so i told him no… over and over and — he didn’t take it well so… he called me a boring bitch and broke it off..”

his eyebrows deepening hearing that, hand around the wheel tighten at the thought of some lowlife punk trying to force himself at a sweet girl like you to have sex,

“you fucking with me?” his tone rising, seeing you shake your head as a no. “my god that’s not— sweetheart, you know that it was not your fault right? was that why you looked so sad? because you thought that you should’ve gave him what he wanted?”

you toy with the hem of your skirt, still looking down before nodding. “…yes.. because maybe then he wouldn’t be mad”

“no.. oh god, no.. don’t you ever, ever think that. what you did was the right thing, baby. you should be proud for standing up to yourself, you know that?”

slowly you look up to him, seeing his genuine eyes looking into yours. “okay..”

but toji doesn’t buy that, instead he shakes his head. “no, i want to hear you say it, come on. say ‘i did the right thing’”

a smile slowly creeps up to your face while your cheeks are heating up. “tojiii” you whine,

he smiles back at you, “come on. say it”

“i—i did the right thing” you repeat slowly,

“good girl” he praises, and that almost makes your body goes slump and your thighs to squeeze together,

when was the last time someone called you that?

throughout the ride, you and toji talk a lot about each other. from a-z. and you can’t help but admit how refreshing it is to finally have someone to talk to like this. it was a non-stop conversation, accompanied by the soft tunes playing in the background—thanks to your choice of music—

you may not notice this but toji is purposely taking the long way just so the conversation stays a bit longer,hoping you don’t realize what he’s doing. it’s not like you would actually complain, you enjoy his company.

despite your age, toji finds you to be the most interesting woman he has ever met. the way you talk freely and articulate words when you speak to him is so attractive. he loves a woman who has her own opinion on everything and you had just shown him that.

you’re smart, witty, have a great sense of humor and not to mention,

really fucking gorgeous.

toji feels like a downright pervert when he tries to sneak a glance at your soft plump thighs every second. imagining how they would look around his head. or the fat of your tits when you bounce on his cock, giving him the perfect view. and your lips,

god, your pink. glossy . lips.

“is this the place?” he pulls up in front of the big frat house where he can see a few kids standing on the porch, typical red solo cups in their hands. his eyes carefully observe the scene before him. “shit, they’re really getting shit faced huh?”

you laugh, looking over where one kid had puked all over the lawn making you grimace. “they’re not all like that everyday”

“hmm sure, sweetheart” he rolls his eyes, but smile anyways. “be careful now, yeah? you got my number saved?”

nodding, you take one good look at him before unbuckling your seatbelt. “yup! thank you for the ride, toji. you’re a real life saver!”

“don’t mention it. keep an eye out on any one who wants to try something with you. especially your ex. let me know if he’s bothering you, i’ll come quickly as i can” he informs,

your heart feels like its about to jump out of your chest, “i will, thanks again and oh! wait— can i … see you again?”

he quirks an eyebrow at that, a cocky smirk stretches upon his pretty lips causing you to glance down at it,

“you want to?” his finger and thumb softly tapping against the wheel

“i do” you reply quickly, biting down on your lower lip as your hand fiddle against the handle of his car door. “this can’t be the last time, right?”

no, of course not he thinks. because he wants to see you too. if not more than you want to see him. might as well take you out on a date, or a stroll. anything. as long as he gets to see that pretty face of yours longer than just an hour.

“you got it, sweetheart. keep a look out for a text from me, then yeah?” his hand then reach our to grab your other one, giving a soft kiss on the knuckles while maintaining an eye contact with you,

you let out a shaky breathe with a small cute smile as he rubs his thumb against your skin. before you can even move your hand to open the door, he does it for you. shooting you another smile of his.

you grab your purse and climb out of the vehicle, waving your hand at him. “good night , toji”

“goodnight, y/n. i’ll see you very soon” he winks before you close the door and see himself drive off,

you stand there for a while with a bright smile on your face that never seems to leave,

you really can’t wait to see him again

—

next part, first date?👀

a/n: also, planning to make this into a series <3

taglist:

@fushipurro

@crocodilethesir

@chilichopsticks

@trentknd

@tojis-ball-sack

@hellokittyloverrxox

@xavlyzn

[awearywritersworld]

tell me you don't want me

gojo satoru x reader summary: gojo adds falling in love with his dead best friend's little sister to the list of things that keep him up at night w/c: 1.8k tags/warnings: angst to fluff. gojo takes care of reader when they have a migraine. they watch shark week together, so shark haters beware. arguing, but nothing super harsh. protective!gojo. reader is referred to as a sister but there are no pronouns. gojo is around 27, reader 23. curse words. no out right smut, but a heavily suggestive ending so lets say 18+ a/n: i've been writing purely fluff for gojo, so it seems about time to return to my angst/fluff roots. today's epi made me had me feeling some type of way. may write a part two to this? idk lemme know what you think! masterlist check out my latest work for gojo here

after you arrived at jujutsu high as a first year, everyone wore the same expression when they looked at you, their eyes full of pity and apprehension. you really couldn't blame them though. after what happened with suguru, you were left a shell of yourself, paranoid that you were destined to the same fate as your older brother.

however, the boy that suguru called his best friend held something different in his gaze whenever his eyes fell on you. understanding, maybe? gojo knew that if there was anyone in the world who missed suguru as much as he did, it had to be you.

for most of the year, the two of you really only talked in passing, dancing around a discussion neither of you were brave enough to initiate. then your brother's birthday rolled around and you found yourself drenched in rain, sneaking into the boys' dormitory to knock on gojo satoru's door.

he wasn't surprised to find you standing there.

"that idiot always refused to let me celebrate his birthday," you blurted out, damp hair sticking to your forehead.

he laughed. it was just a breath, but it was still genuine. "right? he couldn't stand being fussed over for one day."

and as you both stood there, rain pattering against the window, you felt months of unspoken tension melt away. "well, come in. i bought cake."

after that day, gojo took on the roll of your older brother and he really leaned into it. flicking your forehead to annoy you, threatening anyone he thought had a crush on you, giving you advice whenever he deemed you needed it.

you weren't sure if he was aware, even after all these years, that he'd saved you— pulled you away from the brink. you became like the little sister he never had, while he tried his best to fill the hole suguru had left in your heart.

gojo spends more time in your apartment than his own, so it's no surprise when he barges in one afternoon, singing out your name (rather terribly, one might add).

"i have a migraine, 'toru," you groan from the couch, pulling the blanket up over your head as the bright light from behind his figure worsens your discomfort. all of your blinds are shut, the curtains pulled together. "can you please close the door?"

he hums, stepping inside and pulling the door shut quietly. "you seem to be getting them a lot lately."

"probably because i spend so much time with you," you whine facetiously.

he gasps, hand clutching at his heart. "i come all the way here to visit you, only to be ridiculed. my devastation is untellable."

after grabbing a washcloth from the linen closet, he pads over to the kitchen sink. you peer at him from under the blanket as he runs it under cold water, noting how the veins in his forearms become more prominent once he wrings it out.

you're laying across the entirety of the couch, but you scoot away from the edge and he situates himself in the space beside your hip, his body facing you. the corner of his mouth is turned down, evidence of the worry swirling in his chest. he presses the back of his fingers to your forehead before folding the cloth neatly and laying it there.

"you should mention the migraines to shoko," he suggests earnestly.

"they just flare up sometimes, you know that. it's really not a big deal."

"yeah, maybe.. but i still worry about you."

you can't help but notice how close he is and while it feels casual, it also feels... intimate? the cold cloth does bring some relief to your head, though you'd have preferred it if his hand had remained there instead.

"have you eaten?" he questions after a moment, pulling you from your thoughts.

"not yet."

"then i'll go pick up some food," he offers, rising to his feet. "do you need anything else-"

"no," you say a little too quickly, your fingers wrapping around his wrist. "i mean.. can you just stay?"

he suddenly looks very smug. "oh, what's this? are you sure spending more time with me won't make your head feel worse?"

you attempt to roll your eyes but the movement sends a sharp pain through your skull, causing you to grumble. "don't make me hurt you satoru. i was joking."

"i know," he smirks, decently self satisfied. "but you do have to eat, so-"

"there's leftover egg drop in the fridge, can you just warm that up for me please?"

"'course! anything for you, (y/n)-chan!"

his tone makes it sound as if he's teasing you, but he knows it's the truth. he's painfully aware that there isn't a thing you could ask of him that he'd deny. he tries not to think about that though, because he can't bring himself to admit what it all means.

once your soup is ready, he joins you on the couch. you move to sit up and while that makes plenty of room for him, he still lifts your legs, sitting so that they lay across his lap. one of his hands is resting on your shin, the other on your knee.

"shark week?" he suggests as you reach for the remote.

you nod eagerly. "yes."

the two of you have never fought before.

well, maybe that's not entirely true. it isn't uncommon for the both of you to argue over video games, the latest chapter of a manga, or other things of that nature. but you and gojo have never had a genuine disagreement.

that is, until you mention wanting to challenge a decision made by the higher ups. he's well aware of how they deal with people they deem troublesome, so he can't help the vexation that bubbles up in his chest at your words.

"absolutely not," he tells you. his voice is low, not one hint of amusement to be found.

the tone leaves you narrowing your eyes, and you sound a bit misbelieving when you ask, "what do you mean 'absolutely not'?"

after everything that happened with geto, the higher ups have been wary of you. honestly, they're probably just looking for an excuse to pull another stunt like the detention center and he can't risk that. he can't risk losing you.

rather than express any part of that sentiment, however, he just goes all stone faced and vague. it's weird, so naturally it's followed by a bit of back and forth that goes nowhere, the conversation growing unreasonably volatile with each passing second.

why can't you just listen to him? why can't you give him the benefit of the doubt? he's earned that by now, hasn't he?

"i don't understand!" you hiss, your chest heaving with indignation. "why are you acting like this?"

because i love you. because i need you. because you mean more to me than everything else in this world put together.

he can't possibly say that though.. can't lay his shame bare for you to see.. can't bring himself to admit the feelings he has for you.

he's in love with dead best friend's little sister and it's wrong. it keeps him up at night. claws away at his self respect.

"i'll take care of it," he promises, sounding a bit defeated. "just please stay out of it."

"quit treating me like i'm a child, satoru. you're not my father."

your assertion makes the air in the room shift, and the feeling that forms in the pit of gojo's stomach is not unlike a cord being pulled too taut before snapping.

"so what am i then, huh? what am i to you?" he interrogates, taking a step toward you.

his eyes burn with intensity and the conviction in his voice is dizzying, especially since it's meant only for you. he immediately notices the way you stiffen, suddenly unable to meet his eye.

he swallows thickly, any restraint he has left ebbing away once he hears your small, nervous voice. "'toru, w... what do you-"

you're cut off when he takes another step in your direction, your back meeting with the wall after you attempt to maintain the space between the both of you.

one of his palms presses to the wall beside your head, though the other remains at his side. he doesn't want to trap you there, not when he still doesn't have a clear idea of how you're feeling.

his breath fans across your face, your mind struggling to process what was happening. you whisper his name, unsure of how else to respond.

"i want you." he nearly chokes on the words, the pain of admitting them evident in his voice. "want you more than anything."

and he does. he wants you more than the sleep he never gets. more than he wants to honor suguru. more than he wants to be a good man.

his head dips down, your breath catching in your throat when his lips find the spot on your jaw just below your ear.

"please, tell me to stop," he begs, sending a shiver down your spine.

your hands move to his chest, the rise and fall of it uneven and sporadic. god, you make him so fucking weak it's almost pathetic.

his lips shift to your cheek, closer to your mouth, and his hand reaches up to cradle the other side of your face. he sounds irrevocably desperate now, "tell me you don't want me."

your heart's beating so loudly in your ear drums, you can hardly hear yourself speak. "satoru, please."

"please what?" he asks, and for a moment you're unsure of the answer.

you try to open your mouth once more, but the words are lodged in your throat. confusion and frustration rattle around in your head, making it difficult to string together your thoughts. finally you just give in, grabbing his face between your hands and pulling his lips against your own.

he let's out a strangled noise, some unknowable mix of pleasure and relief. his hands land on your hips at once, greedily pulling your body against his own.

his lips are chapped, but they're perfect in the way they move against yours. the kiss isn't clumsy, nor is it unsure. it's ardent and comfortable, as if it's the most natural thing in the world.

you pull away first, each of you holding the other's gaze. you're both hazy eyed, your mouths curved into giddy, lovesick grins.

gojo doesn't hesitate when you glance down at his lips, your words easing that bitter self loathing he'd been enduring for longer than he cares to admit. "if you want me... then make me yours."

taglist: @torusmochi @moonmalice

[vscabarca]

hii could you write about gavi where he falls for the social media manager (owner) of the barcelona insta page and she likes to post a lot about gavi where she kinda crushes on him and he notices and messages the barca acc abt it and asks for her main account since he is interested and likes to see what she looks like after seeing her he immediately falls for her

social media manager - pablo gavi

summary: gavi wants to know who‘s the new admin of the official Fc Barcelona Instagram account after the admin lowkey crushes over him. here is p2!

genre: fluff

a/n: sorry anon for waiting so long…😔 hope you like it still!!

———

„Our social media manager is all over our golden boy here!“ Out of all people, it just had to be Ferran saying that. Even though Gavi wasn’t the youngest in the team anymore, they still treated him like their little brother. Besides aggressive hugs, soft kicks to his butt and playful banter against him, Gavi was more and more teased for his frequent appearance on the official Instagram page of the club.

Nobody really knew who managed the account, the players only knew Sarah took the pictures but didn’t edit or post them.

„Stop, it’s not that serious, I‘m just the fan favorite.“ Gavi countered, knowing how to handle their stupid jokes and did no longer erupt into the angry bird he was known for.

But lately it gnawed on him. It was true, he appeared more and more on their Instagram page after the club announced a change in their social media department, and it almost seemed like there were new faces behind it.

15 october

fcbarcelona: Gavi shoots Spain to the 2024 Euros!🥳 felicitationes Gavi and sefutbol!!

14 february

fcbarcelona: besitos for people who celebrate valentines day!💓💌🎀 ps Gavi i‘m single… xoxo-admin

13 may

fcbarcelona: happy gavi in practice? = happy admin😁⚽️

23 may

fcbarcelona: 1-10 how do you like Gavi‘s new haircut? I’d give him a 11🤭

21 june

fcbarcelona: when Gavi hears you haven’t bought a match ticket for the pre-season tour yet… (don’t worry Gavito I bought one😇) xoxo-admin

27 july

fcbarcelona: Gavi is ready for pre-season in the US, are you?😍 Get your tickets here! www.fcbarcelonatickets.com

The posts these past half year earned much more publicity due to your unhinged and funny captions. People loved this side, a more humerous and silly atmosphere than your rivals.

You were not even twenty, stumbling across this job by chance as you scrolled through various job descriptions.

You always loved the football club, so this was your opportunity to start a career in that sport.

Did you have a little crush on Barça‘s number six? Yes, but to defend yourself, as said before, people loved it. It also felt great knowing no one knew who was behind the account, only your friends and co-workers knew.

It was a sunny day in Barcelona, you were about to work on some posts for the US Tour when Sarah stumbled inside your office.

„You won’t believe this.“ She beamed, shaking her head in disbelief. You noticed her phone in her hands with Instagram open on her screen.

„What, did Messi finally reply to your DM‘s?“ You joked, knowing Sarah was obsessed with the Argentine and used every opportunity to text him.

„No then I wouldn’t walk in so casually, but someone did text me… about you.“ You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at her last words, not understanding why anyone would text your work colleague about you.

„Huh? What do you mean? Why would they text you about me?“ You questioned while Sarah just sat there with a grin on her face.

„Because he wants to know who runs the FC Barcelona Instagram account.“

Huh? You were even more confused now. Why would anyone want to know who posted these hilarious and often badly edited photos?

„Who?“

„Gavi.“

You almost had an heart attack hearing his name.

„Pablo Gavi texted you about me? Omg is he angry with what I‘ve been posting? Or doesn’t he like how-”

Sarah interrupted your stream of words, telling you to relax while she laughed at your reaction.

„Quite the opposite! Let me show you.“ She scooted closer, handing over her phone.

pablogavi

Hi sarah, its gavi from the team😁 I was wondering who’s behind all these funny posts about me on our page on Instagram? Could you tell me who makes these posts? thanks!

„Oh my god, you didn’t tell him it’s me, right?“ You were blushing once you read his message, feeling extremely embarrassed about the whole situation.

„Of course I did, I gave him your private Instagram.“ Sarah said as if it was the most normal thing to do.

Your eyes went wide, immediately slapping your hand over your mouth once you realized Gavi knew who has been thirsting over him these last months.

Before you could scold her and go crazy, Sarah excused herself, saying her break was long over.

„Oops, well Y/n my break is over. See you soon and have fun with Gavi!“ She winked.

„You‘re dead I swear!“ You shouted after her with a laugh, still not believing she did what she did. Now you were even too scared to look at your phone until work was over.

———

Gavi sent that message right before a morning session, hoping he‘d get an answer once Flick would release them for lunch. Logically, it had to be a girl. Of course it could also be a guy, which would be no problem at all, but imagining it being a girl around his age made everything more exciting.

What would he even do once he knew who you were? He couldn’t just follow your with his normal account, he basically had to do it with his private one. These thoughts got quickly out of his head once he was hit by a football. His friends made fun of him for being absent and he even felt embarrassed, even though none of them knew what he was thinking about.

After practice, waiting for everyone to leave the locker room, Gavi looked at his DM‘s seeing Sarah had already answered him.

He immediately clicked on the @, seeing your private account pop up.

He could only see your profile picture, but he felt like he was hit by cupids arrow immediately after he looked at you.

You looked beautiful, hair flowing freely and a cute smile covering your face as you took the selfie.

Just when Gavi thought he was alone for once, Pedri realized he forgot his phone and went back to the locker room. He had never seen his friend so scared, Gavi even dropped his phone to the ground. After Pedri first laughed at his reaction, he picked the phone up for his friend, only to see a cute girl across his phone screen.

„Who is this?!“ Pedri said teasingly. He knew Gavi wasn’t keen on talking about girls with his friends, that’s something he‘d rather kept to himself.

„Swear on god to not tell Fermin or Ferran, otherwise the whole team knows within ten minutes.“ Gavi scolded, pointing his finger at him. He knew there was no point in hiding it from Pedri, maybe he could help him out.

Pedri innocently put his hands up, saying he wouldn’t tell anyone.

„She’s Barça‘s Instagram admin. I thought the posts about me were funny but I wanted to know who the person was behind. Sarah gave me her @, and that’s her who you’re looking at.“ Gavi explained simply, waiting for an answer.

„She’s pretty.“ Pedri only said, agreeing with Gavi.

„She is. What should I do?“

„What do you wanna do?“ His friend countered. He wanted to know what Gavi‘s intentions were before he said something.

„Well at first I was just curious who the person is, but now I think I have a crush on her after looking at that picture.“ Pedri next to him snorted at first, but once he realized he was serious, he said what every friend would say.

„Text her. Tell her you think her posts are funny, then ask her out.“

„Isn’t that a bit weak to just text her? Aren’t girls more impressed when the guy comes up to her in person?“ Gavi asked. He had a point, but you would like anything he does if we’re honest…

„I mean she does work here too… you can always go to her office and talk to her.“ Pedri suggested, even though he was surprised that Gavi would even do such a thing for a girl.

The following day after afternoon practice, Gavi still thought about you and decided to come by your office, hoping you’d still be here.

He softly knocked at the door, peeking inside to see you look up from your laptop. Surprised was an understatement, you were shocked to say the least.

„You must be Y/n right?“ Gavi asked, stepping inside a bit before you invited him over to you.

„Yeah! Come in, can I help you with something?“ You said, trying to be as professional as possible even though you were trembling on the inside once Gavi stood in front of you.

„You’re Barça‘s social media admin right?“ He said with a small smile on his face.

„I am, Sarah told me you‘ve been looking for me. I‘m sorry if I offended you in any way-” You were cut off by Gavi, telling you he loved your posts.

„No, no don’t worry, me and my friends love them, we always have a good laugh.“ Gavi assured you, taking a seat on the stool opposite your desk.

„Then I‘m glad. Don’t worry I‘m not crazy or anything but the people like my work. Not that you think I‘m some kind of weird fan girl.“ He had to laugh at your words, his head falling back while you joined in laughing.

„No, I get it, it’s good for Barça‘s marketing.“ He joined in with the jokes, creating a great atmosphere between you two.

„Was there a specific reason you wanted to know who the admin was?“ You asked genuinely curious after you just shared a good laugh.

„Well, my friends and I always joked about your posts about me and I was just wondering who was behind it. And once Sarah gave me your personal Instagram account I realized you are a very pretty girl, so I decided to pay you a visit.“ Gavi‘s cheeks grew red at his little confession, but he soon was more confident once he saw how flustered you got.

„That’s very sweet of you, thank you.“ You answered with a smile, having to break the eye contact out of nerves. The guy half of Spain adored just called you pretty. Huh?!

„And I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me sometime? Maybe eat dinner or something like that.“ Gavi asked, fidgeting with his shirt. You immediately started beaming, feeling your cheeks heat up.

„I‘d love to go out with you, yes.“ You said, smiling softly as you saw him grin too.

„Great, I‘ll text you. Is Friday at seven good? I can pick you up.“ He got up from his seat, making you get up too.

„That’s perfect, see you on Friday.“ You accompanied him to the door, leaning on the doorframe seeing him turn around to give you a gentle hug.

„See you on Friday hermosa.“

[tsukisrants]

The Babysitter - Kim Namjoon

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5.240

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Age Gap (Reader is 18 and Nam is 27), Babysitter!Namjoon, Daddy Kink, Dom/sub Undertones, Spit kink, Verbal humiliation, Degradation, Praise, Choking, Face-Slapping, Hair-Pulling, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Size Kink, Spanking, Slight Breeding Kink, Creampie.

Snippet: “Little girl isn’t so little anymore, huh?” he says, smirking as he gets closer to you.

-smut under the cut-

"This is so ridiculous," you mutter.

As you tidy up the room, folding the clothes that have been piled up for days, you repeat to yourself that all of this doesn't make sense.

You're not a child anymore, and it's not fair for your parents to continue treating you as if you were one.

A babysitter.

As if you were still eight years old.

You sigh heavily, running a hand through your hair.

You move it away from your face and turn to look at yourself in the mirror.

You're an adult now.

But your parents don't seem to truly realize that.

They'll be away for the weekend and they don't trust leaving you alone at home completely.

You, who were looking forward to enjoying some time for yourself, find yourself having to succumb to their paranoia and let this little dream of peace be swept away by the arrival of this damn babysitter.

"He's not a real babysitter, Y/N. It's just Namjoon, that dear boy, doing us a favor and keeping you company. Stop acting spoiled," you hear your mother's voice repeating incessantly, like an unstoppable litany that accompanies you with every step you take inside your room.

Namjoon.

You haven't seen him in a long time now.

A few years older than you, he earned some pocket money helping your parents with household chores and being your babysitter.

When you were eight, and he was seventeen.

But now?

Now you're eighteen, and he's twenty-seven.

It even surprises you that he agreed.

He came back to town for some reason unknown to you, and your parents immediately roped him in (although your mother keeps insisting that he volunteered).

Just the idea of seeing him again terrifies you, embarrasses you.

He was your first crush, the one you hid behind walls to watch him do chores, the one who made you blush to the point where you could feel the skin on your cheeks burning.

You were truly pathetic, following him around like a lost little puppy.

But you were just a little girl at the time.

Now, you are not anymore.

So, as you change for the evening, you curse your parents and their stupid trip and their stupid fears.

You put on a pair of shorts and a hoodie and, with an expression of pure disdain, you leave your room, determined to hide there soon enough.

As you descend the stairs, you hear voices echoing through the house.

Absentmindedly, you adjust your glasses, and immediately feel a shiver run through your body when, among two familiar voices, you hear a very different one: deep and raspy.

It must be Namjoon.

You take a deep breath, then enter the living room.

He’s there.

The three of them, immersed in conversation, don't realize you finally left your room and joined them.

You take advantage of these moments in which they still haven’t noticed you to look at Namjoon as best you can.

He's a man now.

Far from the boy you remember.

He's tall, imposing.

Beautiful.

Incredibly beautiful, breathtakingly so.

So beautiful it hurts.

Disheveled hair, powerful hands, and broad shoulders.

Just looking at him, you feel small.

Lost in admiration, you don't realize that your parents have stopped talking to him and that all the three of them are now looking at you.

You blush under their gaze.

Under Namjoon's burning gaze.

He looks at you from head to toe with an expression you can't decipher, and you nod a greeting, moving your head and attempting a smile.

When Namjoon returns your smile, for a brief moment you feel like you've returned to being that little girl who timidly asked her big brother (because that's what you were used to calling him) to help with homework, or to pick you up and carry you from one room to another when you pretended to be too tired from school to do it yourself.

He spoiled you like never before, and you're not sure if you can find traces of that sweet and sensitive boy on his face anymore.

You’re not sure you mind.

As you two go on with what seems to be your own little staring contest, your parents leave the room to go get their bags and eventually leave.

You stand in front of him, unsure of what to do or say.

He beats you to it, and his voice makes you squirm on your feet.

“Little girl isn’t so little anymore, huh?” he says, smirking as he gets closer to you.

His words embarrass you, and once again you feel your cheeks burning.

One of his hands finds its place in your hair, tousling it just like he used to do when you were a child.

"Namjoon!" you exclaim, slapping his hand away.

He tilts his head to the side, a mocking expression on his face.

"Y/N!" he responds, mimicking you.

Then, he bursts into laughter. The thunderous sound caresses your body, and without even realizing it, you find yourself laughing along with him.

"You're not a kid anymore either," you let slip.

In response, his smirk intensifies, and you roll your eyes.

Namjoon is about to reply or retort, but your parents interrupt him before he can do so.

Your mom approaches you and hugs you, and you find yourself reminding her once again that she's not leaving the country to go to war, but for a love escape with your father. She silences you, and while your father chuckles and says goodbye to Namjoon, she shows all her concern and bids you farewell with another never ending list of recommendations.

When your parents finally leave the house, you release a sigh that you didn't know you were holding back.

You enjoy the peace that echoes in the house, but it doesn't last long: when you turn around, you are greeted by the sight of Namjoon sitting with his legs spread wide open on the couch, scrolling through his phone.

You remain still for a moment, feeling insignificant in front of the scene before your eyes.

Namjoon doesn't pay attention to you, too busy fiddling with his phone. That is until he moves his head to push his hair away from his face and meets your gaze.

"I'm ordering something to eat, kiddo. What do you prefer?" Namjoon asks, tapping the couch with his hand to signal you to come sit next to him.

You struggle to find an answer at first. Then, mumbling some excuses, you approach him.

"I'm not a kid," you reply, before letting yourself fall onto the couch, keeping a few inches of space between your bodies.

Namjoon simply raises an eyebrow and nods in response. It's not convincing at all, and you huff, exasperated.

Adjusting your sweatshirt and pulling its edges to cover your legs as much as possible, you think about his question. Eating now seems impossible to you. Your stomach is in turmoil because of him, and you hate yourself for it.

You thought you had grown up, but now it doesn't seem that way anymore. Not with him so close.
Namjoon makes you feel small and helpless just by being close to you.

And your mind starts to wonder how smaller you’d feel with him towering over you.

You shake your head and push that thought away, shivers running down your spine just from thinking about him touching you.

"Pizza. Pizza will be good," you mutter, while also scrolling through your phone to try to distract yourself, at least a little.

Namjoon nods and orders for both of you.

You're grateful that the search for food has kept you somewhat occupied.

Namjoon is now looking at you.

You can't read his expression, but you only know that it weighs on your body.

As he looks at you, he tilts his head to the side, hinting at a smile.

You talk for a while: he tells you about his travels, his adventures around the world.

You get lost in listening to him, and between one story and another, there are jokes and small provocations.

But at the same time, lost in the conversation as you are, you feel time stand still: or rather, go back.

When it's your turn to speak, you regain the enthusiasm you had when you were just a child, and his eyes don't miss a single movement of yours.

You swim in the pleasure of having all the attention on you, for you.

"You've grown up well, little princess," he murmurs after a while, and Namjoon messes up your hair again.

You roll your eyes, sighing heavily.

"Stop it, I told you! I'm not eight years old anymore, you know?" you retort, and you almost stand up to stomp your feet on the ground out of frustration.

Namjoon chuckles before running his tongue over his soft lips.

"Believe me, Y/N, I've noticed," he murmurs, as his eyes roam your body from head to toe, caressing your skin.

You blush, and feel a warmth starting to build in your lower abdomen.

"But that doesn't mean you can't be my little princess, right? Like the old times, little one," Namjoon says, and his eyes start to darken, his gaze becoming more intense.

You watch him discreetly adjust his pants, and your eyes widen at the thought of what that might mean.

Is he... getting turned on by this? Are you turning him on?

But it can't be, not while he's talking to you like this.

Yet, the scene in front of you seems clear enough.

You don't dare to do much, but you allow yourself to dream, to hope.

You hope he might want you the same way you seem to be dreaming of him.

You try to argue back, to find a way to respond to him, but you are interrupted by the doorbell ringing, snapping both of you out of your thoughts.

As you go to stand up and answer the door to the delivery person, you are stopped by Namjoon.

His hand grabs your wrist, squeezing it tightly. He holds you in place, standing in front of him.

His hand is so big that it completely immobilizes your wrist, wrapping around every inch of it.

You furrow your eyebrows and tilt your head to the side, confused by his gesture.

"Where do you think you're going?" Namjoon growls.

"T-to open the door?" you respond, hesitantly.

"Not dressed like that, you're practically naked," he retorts, standing up himself.

Still holding your wrist tightly, Namjoon is in front of you: your head at the level of his chest.

"I'll open it. You go get some glasses. Come on, go," he adds, before letting go of your arm and passing by you, leaving you alone in the living room.

You hear him talking to the delivery guy, and you think back to the scene you just experienced.

Namjoon got jealous.

He acted out of jealousy, and although it would usually annoy you, you can't help but smile and feel gratified.

And maybe, a little excited too.

You hurry to do as he told you, driven by the desire to please him. You quickly move from the living room to the kitchen, grab two glasses and a couple of napkins, and return to the living room, placing everything on the coffee table in front of the couch.

Namjoon joins you shortly after with the pizza boxes in his hands.

"Well done. Some things never change, huh? You'll always be my good girl," Namjoon praises you, and you almost choke on your own saliva, coughing like an idiot.

He doesn't say anything, but you can't miss the satisfied expression on his face as he sees your reaction.

He places the boxes on the small table and then sits on the floor, on the carpet, motioning for you to do the same.

Of course, you comply.

Obediently, you do as he says and sit next to Namjoon.

He rewards you with a smile and a wink.

In order to escape the pressure of this whole scene, you dive into the pizza, taking a bite and keeping your gaze low on the cardboard in front of you.

For a while, you eat in silence, exchanging light chatter and simply enjoying each other's company.

Then, Namjoon clears his throat.

You've finished eating by now, and you remain seated on the carpet with the TV on to keep you company. You look up to understand what he wants, and he chuckles, leaving you even more perplexed.

"You've got something on your face," he murmurs, pointing to your face.

"Where?" you reply, alarmed, trying to hide your face behind your hands, embarrassed.

"I'll take care of it," Namjoon replies, slowly approaching you.

You startle, and try to shake your head to let him know that there's no need for him to bother, and that you can take care of it yourself.

But he doesn't accept objections.

"Let me do it, little one. I'm here for that, right? Namjoon is here to take care of you," he whispers, before grabbing your face with one hand and forcing you to look at him.

A faint hiss escapes your lips at his words, and you wonder why his tone and way of speaking have such an effect on you.

He rubs his thumb on your cheekbone before sliding it over the reddened skin of your face.

"There you go," Namjoon says, rubbing his thumb against the corner of your mouth.

At this point, you're not even sure if you really got dirty. You realize that you don't care at all.

Not if Namjoon has his hands on you.

"Be a good girl, Y/N, come on..."

You furrow your eyebrows, with your heart beating wildly.

You don't understand what he really wants, or maybe you don't want to understand.

"Open your mouth, baby. Clean up daddy's fingers," he urges, rubbing his thumb over your parted lips.

You gasp, and suddenly you feel unable to breathe properly. You can’t believe your ears, can’t believe that this is actually happening.

You can’t believe you like it so much.

You can’t believe it feels so fucking good.

“N-Namjoon-ie… I-I… what?” you mutter, confusion flooding your mind.

He shakes his head, his expression stern and disapproving of your choice of words.

“That’s not my name, is it? What do you call me, little one?” he asks, finally shoving his thumb past your lips, rubbing it down your tongue before sliding it out your mouth and smearing spit over your lips and chin.

You take a deep breath before finally giving in, arousal taking control of your body.

“D-daddy, please…” you stutter, shaking under his soft touch.

He curses under his breath, his tongue poking at his cheek before sliding across his lips, wetting them.

“Please what, Y/N? What does my princess want?”

Fuck if you know.

There’s not a single coherent thought in your mind right now, so you try to mumble out an answer of some sorts, only coming up with a few pleads and moans.

He huffs out a laugh, so condescending and mean in the sweetest way possible.

“W-want you to…to take care of me. Daddy, please, take care of your little girl, just- whatever you want.”

You are a little ashamed of the desperation with which you utter these words, but you can't stop yourself. Even the shame burning in your stomach is pleasurable: it arouses you to feel this way, desperate and pathetic for him.

And he likes it too, judging by his reaction. Judging by the curse he lets slip and the way his chest rises and falls quickly, his breath labored and out of control.

"Is that really what you want, sweetheart? Are you sure? Daddy wants to do bad things to you. All kind of dirty, nasty things to your tiny little body."

You nod. Trembling like a leaf, you move closer to him, needing to have him by your side. The warmth emanating from his body is comforting, and you feel desperate to have him touch you.

"Do whatever you want to me, I trust you. You've always taken care of me, always. I-I want you to take me. Make me take it, make it hurt, anything.”

Your words greatly gratify him, and are enough to make him snap definitively.

With one hand he grabs your neck, using his hold on you to bring you closer to his body.

Then, your lips collide.

The moment they touch, you will never forget it.

"Fuck, babygirl, you taste so sweet," he grunts against your mouth, his hand around your neck tightening until you gasp, out of breath, and moan against his lips.

Your hips move out of your control, trying somehow to meet with his.

“I’ll make it hurt, doll. Daddy will hurt you so good,” he says, and while he still is choking you, with the other hand he grabs your hair and pulls at it, forcing your head to follow his movements.

Your neck is exposed, and his mouth is on you almost immediately.

His tongue flows freely over your skin, his teeth scraping against your neck before sinking in, biting you hard.

It hurts, damn it.

So fucking painful, and you moan loudly, trembling uncontrollably on his legs.

He bites you, sucking on the skin of your neck. The undeniable mark that you belong to him to mark your skin.

He abandons your neck and, moving away from it, Namjoon takes a few seconds to admire his artwork. He smiles satisfied, before pushing two of his fingers against the bruise forming on your skin.

You flinch, gasping in pain that runs through your body.

"Thank me. Say thank you to your daddy for hurting you, come on. Show me how well you've grown, use your manners."

Your eyes roll back into your head for a moment, as you breathe heavily at his words.

Your panties become increasingly wet, your pussy throbbing and begging for mercy.

"T-Thank you, daddy. Thank you for hurting me, thank you..."

You’re fucking mess: there’s a drop of drool sliding down your swollen lips, your neck is exposed and your hair is all messy from when he pulled it.

“My pretty little slut, so well behaved. Daddy’s proud of you,” he says, before moving forwards to kiss your forehead.

You smile at his gesture, your hands finally moving to touch him: you grabs his shirt and hold it in your hands, keeping him close to you.

“So desperate, aren’t you?”

You nod, because there’s no point in denying the truth.

You truly are desperate for him, and you like it. He’ll take good care of you, you just know it.

"What do you say, little one, do you want dessert? You've been good, so if you want, daddy will let you take his cock in your mouth, what do you say?" he whispers, stroking your cheek with his thumb, before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

As soon as his words register in your mind, you find yourself begging him.

God, if you want it.

You want to feel it in your mouth, you want him to use you, you want to make him feel good, to make him enjoy it, to be good for him.

You want him to look at you with that look full of admiration, of desire.

You want his eyes always on you.

He smiles at your eagerness, before scooping you from your hips and forcing you to follow him near the couch.

He sits there, legs wide open.

You’re still on the floor, kneeling prettily between his spread thighs.

He grabs your hair and pushes you head down against his crotch, the gesture so harsh that you gasp against the fabric of his pants.

You feel his hard cock against your face, and you nuzzle on it, moaning loudly.

While you rub your cheeks and nose against his clothed cock, he closes his legs, squeezing your head between his powerful thighs.

It’s hard to breathe, but you manage.

“Just like that, little slut. Choke for me, smell my cock, fucking nuzzle on it.”

In contrast with his words and harsh behavior, he pets your hair like one would do to a pet, making you cry out.

“Daddy, want it in my mouth, please…”

He groans, before releasing your head from where it was being pushed down.

“Open up, stick your tongue out,” he orders as he unzips his pants, pulling his cock out of the confines of his black boxers. It’s so fucking thick, the tip wet and shining with pre-cum, veins popping as he slides his hand up and down his cock.

Tongue out, you let saliva slide down from it till falls down your chin and even down to the carpet.

He slaps his cock against your tongue, again and again.

He rubs the tip of it against your face, tracing it and smearing his juices over your skin, making your face all messy.

“You look so slutty, little one. My princess so full of cock. Can’t wait to fuck your pussy,” he moans as he pushes your head down, forcing you to lick his length from the tips and then downwards.

“Take daddy’s balls into your mouth, pretty girl. Choke on them,” Namjoon says, forcing your mouth to open up to suckle at them.

You do as he says, moaning helplessly and sucking on them, rubbing your tongue against the sensitive skin.

While you do that, Namjoon keeps touching himself, grunting and moaning loudly.

Then, he stops.

He quickly grabs his shirt and takes it off.

Now shirtless, he looks even hotter than before.

He takes his cock away from you, and you cry out your disagreement, whining and protesting softly.

Your words die on the tip of your tongue when his hand collides with your cheek.

He slaps you right on the face, making it turn to the side while you hiss in pain, tears filling up your eyes.

“Don’t you fucking dare act like a spoiled brat. You take what I give you, when I give it to you, do you understand?”

When you fail to answer him out loud, only nodding your agreement, he shakes his head, making a clicking sound with his tongue.

“Words, sweetheart. Do you understand?” Namjoon repeats, grabbing your chin harshly and turning your head to face him.

“Y-yes, daddy. I promise I’ll be good.”

Now it’s his turn to nod, before gently petting your cheek, right where he hit you a few moments before. You rub you cheek against his hand, almost purring.

“Sweet little kitten,” he whispers, before bending down and grabbing you by the hips, forcing you to stand up.

“Strip.” Namjoon orders, falling down against the couch, going back to touching himself as he watches you.

Slowly, you comply: you strip under his burning gaze until you stand there completely naked, squirming in your place and blushing. He moans at the sight of you, his hand moving faster as he teases one of his nipples with his hand for a while.

He’s so hot it hurts.

You feel the stickiness between your legs dripping down your thighs, and you rub them together to try and ease some of the pressure you’re feeling.

He notices, and motions at you to get closer, before sliding down the couch and getting comfortable.

“Sit on daddy’s face, doll.”

Your legs almost give out as you hear him utter those words.

You immediately comply, approaching him.

When he notices your hesitation, unsure of what to do, he smiles sweetly at you.

Then, he grabs you by the hips.

As if you weigh nothing, he lifts you up and helps you straddle his face.

It's embarrassing, and you blush deeply.

He moans beneath your body, biting the inside of your thigh.

You flinch, your hands immediately finding grip in his hair.

When his tongue finally meets your wet pussy, the moan that escapes you is almost pornographic.

Your body trembles, and he starts licking you as if you were the most delicious and succulent dessert in the world.

His tongue rubs against your skin, tasting you.

His nose rubs against your pulsating clitoris, and the sensations you feel don't compare to any past experiences.

Namjoon is completely ruining you.

Drops of your pleasure slide down his chin, and he licks your pussy with an unprecedented hunger.

He pushes his tongue inside your warm little hole, fucking you with it, sinking into you again and again.

You feel that, with one hand, he continues to pleasure himself.

With the other, however, he surprises you: he spanks you, hard.

The pain is enough to send you close to orgasm.

"More, p-please..." you whisper, lost in the immense pleasure he is giving you.

He obliges, spanking you again, with even more force. As he hits you, you start to feel your legs shake from where they're wrapped over his head, and you start to call out "daddy!" in a litany, trembling under the force of the pleasure you're feeling.

“C-can I cum? D-daddy! Daddy, please, l-let me cum, please, please…”

He grunts, fucking you even harder with his tongue.

His hands grip at the flesh of your ass so tight it hurts, so tight you know there’s gonna be marks of his touch all over your skin.

“Do it. Cum on daddy’s face, princess.”

You tremble uncontrollably, your body filled with waves of pleasure.

Namjoon fucks you with his tongue while you come for him, showing no mercy.

You pull his hair, using the grip you have on it to keep yourself anchored to reality.

In the end, your body gives in and, overstimulated, you collapse forward, hot tears streaming down your cheeks.

He drinks your juices, your warm juices.

He drinks your orgasm and licks away every trace, before slipping out from under your body and letting you fall onto the couch, your face pressed against the pillow and your naked body exposed.

"Now it's my turn, little one. Daddy is going to fuck this little pussy of yours, break it, rip it in a half," he warns you, kneeling on the couch and grabbing your hips, positioning you as he wants: face down, with your ass pulled up and exposed for him.

He grabs his cock and slaps it against you ass, before rubbing the tip of it against your wet folds, hissing in pleasure as they hug his cock, begging him to shove it inside.

“Hold your cheeks open for daddy, princess. I wanna watch as I destroy this puffy little pussy. Wanna ruin it, make it all sloppy with my cum.”

You moan and follow his orders, grabbing your cheeks and pulling them apart, exposing your holes to him and making your own pussy gape as it begs to be filled.

“Ruin me, daddy. I want you to fuck my pussy, please? Please, daddy? Mess me up, use me…”

He doesn’t make you repeat yourself.

Holding his cock at the base he guides it against your gaping hole before pushing inside.

He’s inside you in one deep and hard stroke. All the way inside of you, your pussy hugging his cock in a tight fit.

“Such a tight little pussy for me,” he praises you, watching closely as his dick opens you up.

Namjoon spits down on you, making it even wetter.

“F-feels so good, love your cock…” you moan, hips moving on their own to meet his strokes.

Namjoon fucks you hard and fast, his cock stretching you to your limit as he pounds into you restlessly, hard and fast.

It’s so fucking loud: you’re so wet that your juices are covering his cock, sliding down the length and balls, the sound of it so obscene and dirty.

"You're such a whore, little one. You really love getting fucked, don't you? My cock-hungry little slut, that's what you are. A pretty princess with her pussy wide open."

His words are sharp, accompanied by the relentless and merciless thrusts of his cock burying itself in you, enough to make you see stars.

You can't even ask for permission or warn him this time.

As soon as his fingers slip between your legs to tease your swollen and needy clitoris, you come for him, gripping his cock like a glove.

Caught in spasms, you feel your own drool dripping down your chin, and your eyes roll back.

You've never cum so hard in your entire life.

“You’re squeezing my cock so hard, baby. Making daddy feel so fucking good, good girl,” he praises you, bending down to leave a kiss on your head.

He fucks you through your orgasm, and now is his turn to chase his pleasure.

He uses your body.

His much bigger figure completely dwarf yours, and you feel helpless under him: he could do anything he wanted and you wouldn’t be able to stop him.

Not that you’d ever try to deny him anything, of course.

You’re his sweet little girl for a reason, after all.

“I-I’m gonna cum soon, love,” he grunts, sweat falling from his forehead as he slides his dick down your cunt.

“I-in me, daddy… Cum in me, breed my pussy.”

Namjoon starts to feel the pleasure take over his own body, and now he acts solely guided by his instincts.

Everything in his body is yelling at him to pump you full of cum, breed you and force you to take it all.

But before doing so, he slips out of your body, grabbing you by the hips and manhandling you with extreme ease, forcing you on your back with your legs wide open.

He gets between them and buries himself back inside your pussy, going back to fucking you.

“Want to watch your face as I dump my load in you, babygirl,” he says, and one of his hands find his rightful place by grabbing your neck.

Your mouth falls open, and he moves forward to spit in it.

When you immediately swallow, the lenses of your glasses wet with droplets of his spit, it’s a sight he cannot resist.

Forcing his cock deep inside your pussy, he stills.

Shaking uncontrollably, he cums.

“Take it. Fucking take my cum, every single drop in this slutty hole, fuck. Fuck, baby, you’re my little cum-dump, that’s what you are,” he moans, bending over to kiss you while he chokes you, hips still moving in tiny little movements as he tries to push his cum as deep as possible inside of your cunt, fucking it into you till he hasn’t emptied himself completely.

“T-thank you, daddy…” you whisper, a big, fucked out smile on your pretty face.

He smiles, too, kissing the tip of your nose.

“Thank you, too, my beautiful princess. You’ve been so good.”

You smile at the praise, hugging him tightly.

He buries his face against your neck, breathing heavily.

You rub his back, and you start to feel your eyes get heavy.

“Can we sleep like this? Want you inside.”

Namjoon nods, kissing your temple.

He shifts both your bodies until he’s on his back and you’re seated comfortably over his body, his softening cock still buried deep inside of you.

You smile, and slowly start to drift away. He watches you sleep for a while, before his eyes finally give out, too.

You sleep like that: tangled into each other.

After all, one is never too old to have a babysitter.

[i-am-aprl]

Exactly 21 years ago, Rachel Corrie, 23-year-old American peace activist and hero from Olympia, Washington, was crushed to death by an Israeli bulldozer in southern Gaza, while undertaking nonviolent direct action to protect the home of a Palestinian family from demolition.

On March 16, 2003, Corrie stood in front of a Palestinian home in hopes of stopping a bulldozer operated by Israeli forces from flattening the home in the Rafah refugee camp.

Israeli forces operating the 60-tonne D9 bulldozer built by Caterpillar Inc continued moving toward Corrie as she stood her ground, running her over and leaving her crushed.

There were many witnesses, including fellow American activist Greg Schnabel, would tell the media Rachel had been wearing an orange fluorescent jacket and was “clearly” visible to the bulldozer driver, as well as to Israeli forces in a nearby tank.

Twenty minutes after the bulldozer backed away, Corrie was pronounced dead.

Corrie’s peace work in Gaza took place against the backdrop of the Second Intifada (Palestinian uprising), which started in September 2000 and lasted until February 2005.

After Corrie’s death, some of her writings were collected by her family and published under the title Let Me Stand Alone: The Journals of Rachel Corrie.

One piece contained in the collection was from an email she had written her mother from Rafah on February 27, 2003 – just weeks before her death.

Corrie wrote: “Just want to write to my mom and tell her that I’m witnessing this chronic, insidious genocide and I’m really scared, and questioning my fundamental belief in the goodness of human nature. This has to stop. I think it is a good idea for us all to drop everything and devote our lives to making this stop. I don’t think it’s an extremist thing to do anymore.”

[revasserium]

In case you hadn’t noticed I utterly ADORE your LaDS fics 🫣 You write the boys so well I squeal when I read them!

Can I request prompts 27 and 142 from the prompt lists for our boy Raf? Could it be nsfw? 👉👈

Eagerly awaiting all of your fics about Raf and Xavier especially!

send me one + a character and i'll write u a drabble

eventide (27. follow me + 142. in the still of the night)

rafayel; 2,413; nsfw !!!, lvl 55 spoilers, piv sex, fem!reader, no "y/n", riding, heat??? adjacent sex???, smut with feelings, fluff and smut, pwp-ish

summary: "my life? what if you just take it instead?" said the sailor to the mermaid.

a/n: this is probably the best i've felt about a smut piece i've written. that ebb & flow lvl 55 story has me in a chokehold, i tell you.

“Maybe from the start… it was all a trap. Maybe the mermaid was after the sailor’s life all along.”

You reach forward to press your palm to the side of Rafayel’s face, feeling the heat of his skin burning against yours. Gently, you run your knuckles along the sparkling scales dotting the tops of his cheeks like so many pieces of a misplaced sea. You see his eyes go wide, feel his breath quicken impossibly in his chest.

“Okay.”

Rafayel blinks, and the barest hint of a frown creases his eyebrows as he turns to look at you.

“Okay?”

You smile, leaning forward with a soft sigh, letting your fingers trail down to his neck, where his pulse beats hummingbird fast beneath your touch.

“Mhm… you were saying earlier that you’d be so weak tonight that I could take your life if I wanted it…” you slowly shift your leg, one and then the other, over till you’re straddling Rafayel’s lap, both your hands resting on his shoulders. Fish-tail flashes of emotions flicker behind his eyes as he holds his breath, his fingers trembling as he reaches up to catch your wrists; he holds them tight, but he makes no move to either pull you closer or push you away.

You can feel his uncertainty thrumming in the air between you, static — electric.

“I — did…”

You let your head fall sideways as you flash him a sweet, helpless smile, “Then… if it were all a trap for my life… I’m saying that you can have it.”

You lean forward, and like this, your eye line is just a bit higher than his, forcing him to crane his head upwards to keep ahold of your gaze.

He is so warm beneath you that for a moment, you wonder if he’s activated his Evol by accident.

“I can…” for a moment, he seems confused, even drunk as he stares up at you, and then, the flicker of something behind his eyes as he goes stiff beneath you. Then, his fingers are digging into your hips and his breath is nearly searing across your lips. Your newly released wrists burn where his grip had been just seconds before, and you slowly sink your fingers into the hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean — or make promises you’ve no intention of keeping.” There’s a razor’s edge glinting beneath the soft hiss of his voice as he glares at you, a longing as deep as the sea roiling behind his gaze.

You steel yourself, shifting slightly in his lap, your cheeks warming as you feel him quivering beneath you. He’s still hot, too hot, but he holds impossibly still as you lean in, your lips ghosting over his in a phantom kiss.

“Please…” it comes out as a ragged plea, and you’ve never known him to sound so desperate or so utterly broken, “if you don’t — if you’re not —“

You run your thumb along his jaw as you force him to look at you.

“Rafayel… kiss me.”

It is a breaking dam, a cresting wave, crashing against the crumbling edges of his self-restraint — his lips on yours, his tongue pressing, hungry and demanding, into your mouth as he surges up to kiss you. It’s all you can do to cling to him, your hands looping behind his neck as he crushes you to him, his hands suddenly everywhere as he tugs at the hem of your clothes, rucking them up just to press his palm to the bare skin of your waist, your back, to trail them up the ridges of your spine.

He tastes of salt and desire as he groans against your mouth, your fingers tangling in his foam-soft hair, heat tingling through you as he forces your hips against his and you feel him — hot and hard. A soft whine escapes your lips as he pulls back, panting, his eyes misty and dark as he watches you with a wildness that chases shivers down your spine.

“Are you scared?” he asks, his voice low and just a little breathless, “do you regret staying?”

You swallow and shake your head, trailing your fingers down into the already-opened front of his shirt, grazing your nails along the skin there. A delicious, heart-rending anticipation sizzles through you at the way his stomach flexes, and the next moment, he’s dropping his lips to your shoulder, his teeth sinking into the bare skin there even as he grabs your hand and forces it lower — and then lower.

Heat pulses through you as your palm meets his clothed cock and his head drops back with a moan. Like this, the scales on his neck and jaw are even more pronounced, glimmering in the dim, moonless night. You loosen his belt with one hand before tugging it down with the other, but before you can reach for him, he catches your wrists and pulls you bodily back up the length of his torso.

You almost yelp, shocked by his strength and the ease with which he’d hauled you over his lap once more. There’s an intensity to his hooded eyes, so much darker than their usual lost-treasure brightness, but he smirks as he sees the obvious blush marring your cheeks.

“Already embarrassed? Didn’t you say you were going to give me your life?”

You purse your lips, “I — I am.”

A strange expression crosses his face as he scoffs, “I told you… don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

And then he’s kissing you again, harsh and hungering, a ravenousness carving through him into the hollow of you as you roll your clothed core down over his throbbing cock with a loud, hapless moan.

“S-says who I don’t plan on keeping them?” you ask, breathless and panting as he lifts your hips with a hiss and literally tears away your underwear. Shivers shake through you at this blatant display of strength — you’d always known he was strong, stronger than he lets on but you hadn’t expected this. It caves your stomach and curves your spine as a want so carnal it sears your mind threatens to take you over.

“Mm — fuck —”

He swears as he shoves down his own pants and his cock springs free, thick and leaking as it slaps against the tight muscle of his lower abdomen. You can’t help the way your eyes wide or your breath hitches at the sight — your mouth waters, your throat tightens.

Heat pulses between your thighs as you press your lips and reach down to wrap your fingers around his base, giving him a soft, experimental tug.

The low, guttural moan that spills from you threatens to steal your sanity from you entirely. And suddenly, it’s not only him feeling the effects of the eventide night — you too start to wonder if there’s something in the thick heat of the air, in dark moonless skies.

“Come here, princess —” Rafayel’s fingers dig into your arms as he jerks you up again, pulling you up till you’re hovering over his weeping cock, your core throbbing with want, the nickname somehow sending another thrill tingling through you. You wonder if you had been a princess in another life — if Rafayel had known you then too — if you’d also wanted each other as you do now —

“R-Raf — ay — yel — ah!” you brace your arms against his shoulders as you slowly lower yourself over him, both of your eyes caught on the intoxicating sight of him sinking into you, inch by inch, thick and unrelenting, until finally you’re seated fully in his lap again, your breaths coming in quick, harsh gasps as you try to adjust to the sting, the stretch.

“H-hey…” Rafayel strokes a hand along your cheek, his own chest heaving even as he checks in on you, “how — how do you feel?”

You keen, rolling your hips down over him just to watch him shudder, “G-good — ah — fuck — there —!”

You plant your palms on his chest and lift yourself up a few inches before sinking down again. The friction nearly drives all coherence from your brain as Rafayel’s hands fall to your hips, his nails digging crescent moon marks into the plush above your ass.

He groans, “Y-you’re squeezing m-me so… so tight — ngh — fuck fuck fuck — do — do you feel that — right — right there?”

He lets out a panting breath as he forces your hips forward and back as he flicks his eyes down at the place where his cock is disappearing into your cunt over and over, a ring of sticky white collecting round the base as he watches, his eyes glazed over with want.

“Yes — yes — I f-feel it —” you force your thighs to go faster, digging your fingers into his shoulder blades as you try to ride him harder, keening when he dips down to catch one of your nipples between his lips, his teeth sinking into the tender flesh, his tongue circling your sensitive nub. Fire chases down the length of your spine as pleasure explodes in your lower belly as Rafayel rucks up into you faster and faster, reaching up a hand to squeeze at your other breast, thumb kneading at the sensitive nipple till you’re twitching, falling forward into his embrace.

“You really — really like it when I fuck you deep like this, hm?” and he’s just as breathless as he should be, there’s sweat beading at his brow, an almost crazed, unfocused look in his eyes as he pulls back to look up at you, but it only serves you spur you on as you ride him faster and harder, tossing your head back, slamming your hips down into his to chase your own high as you cry out before falling forward against his feverish skin.

He shifts his hips and you go rigid above him, the tip of his cock hitting a particular place inside you that makes the entire world go fuzzy around the edges. Once, twice, three times — and then you’re collapsing, shaking and shuddering as you come undone around him, and he’s swearing beneath you, squeezing you to him with a thick, bitten-off groan.

“Fuck — i-if you keep — squeezing — around me l-like that — ah-ah-hah…!”

You let out a soft whine as you feel him spilling hot inside you, his cock twitching as he shivers, his forehead falling against your shoulder as he sighs.

“Mm… how… how do you… feel?” you ask, your voice hazy with tiredness as you pull back, grinning lazily down at him, twisting your fingers absently through the hairs at the nape of his neck. Rafayel peers up at you after a second, half-reproachful, half-amazed.

“You… really have no idea… do you?”

“No idea… of what?” you ask, cocking your head to the side even as he tugs you in, his softening cock still sheathed inside you, the sticky heat of your juices cooling against your skin.

“Don’t you know what it means to have sex with a Lemurian?”

You laugh, shaking your head, leaning forward to nuzzle into the juncture of his neck and shoulder. You rest your head against the sofa and dig your nose into his skin.

“No… tell me.”

Rafayel’s arms wrap around you, sweet and solid, even as a soft squishing sound alerts you both to the mess you’ve undoubtedly made on his artisanal couch. Neither of you pay it much mind.

“It means that you’re tied to me forever — for this lifetime at least, and that… if you ever try to have sex with anyone else…” Rafayel drops his voice, murmuring into the shell of your ear as you shy away at giggle, “You’ll suffer dire consequences.”

You laugh, shaking your head, “Well, good thing I wasn’t planning on having sex with anyone else then. In this lifetime… or the next.”

Rafayel goes still beneath you. And for a second, it’s just you and him and the catching of lost breaths, the remembering of things once forgotten, lives once lived and yet to be lived again.

“Haven’t I told you? Don’t say things you don’t mean…”

You lift your head to look at him, a soft smile lifting your cheeks as you sigh.

“You keep saying that… but I’ve meant everything I said,” you say, trailing your fingers along the high of his cheekbones, the line of his jaw. You feel his skin burn fire-hot beneath the pads of your thumbs as you run them along his bottom lip.

“Promise you’re not lying,” he says, and he’s not indignant any longer, but reverent and eager, almost anxious.

“I promise.”

“Can your promises be trusted?”

You smile before leaning in to run your lips along his neck, tracing his pulse all the way up to his lips with a light, lingering kiss.

“You tell me, sly merman… weren’t you just saying that the mermaid of legend had set a clever trap for the sailor? So tell me, clever, clever merman… if you’ve bound me to you forever… what power would I have to lie to you, hm?”

Rafayel scoffs, pouting as he looks away, “Unbelievable.”

You laugh, lying your cheek back against his chest with a small sigh, “You should learn to believe it… I mean, I did just willingly give you my life.”

Rafayel makes a soft tsk-ing noise as he pinches you lightly on the thigh, “You really don’t know what you’re saying, do you?”

You shake your head, “No… I know exactly what I’m saying.”

Rafayel grunts, though you know by the sound of his voice that he’s grinning, even as he turns to face away from you. You fancy you can feel the heat as it kisses pink the tips of his ears. You reach up to run a finger along the bright scales still pressing up from beneath his skin as he lets out a soft hiss, turning back to look at you.

“You might not believe me but… at least… I have the rest of my life to prove it to you.”

[rottiens]

ਏਓ ! Content. — getō suguru x fem!sorceress reader. pinning, canon au with slight modifications (an au where getō never massacred the village and instead brought the twins to jujutsu tech), sensei getō, shy/reserved reader if you squint, some mentions of gojo (help me), very small age gap (the reader is in her early 20s and getō is 27), the reader wears her hair long enough to wear it tied back.

You stay bent over for a while longer, your face partially hidden by the worn green cap you are wearing, tousled locks escaping their confines to swirl over your forehead and the sides of your face. Your fingers, stiff around the handle of the basket begin to numb as do your knees suspended in the air halfway out of their former position. 

You were emptying the basket of apples in aisle three of Fruit and Vegetables when you were caught unawares by a customer who asked for your help. Your heart flutters and your lips, a little parched by the cool spring wind, are half-open. 

You look up from your position to finally meet the person who owns the voice, in your head everything has happened in slow motion but you are surprised to realize from the clock on the wall that not even a minute has passed. The cap hides part of the white light from your position as well as part of his face. From your unchangeable pose you get a glimpse of his broad thighs filling out the dark blue uniform pants and a glimpse of his chest down, hidden behind the jacket of the same color. 

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" you insist, unsure what he had asked for your help with.  

Instead, he says your name which takes you by surprise. Your name on his lips makes you feel caressed with an electric rush that runs down your spine. You press your lips together, then wet them, trying to focus more on the present than the hot sensation squeezing your lower abdomen. 

"Geto, hello." You opt to pretend you hadn't realized it was him from the first moment. 

"What are you doing here?" Suguru asks cutting to the chase as usual and somewhat incredulously glances at the place, verifying that you were indeed in the small supermarket near Jujutsu Tech. 

"I work here," you reply tightly, your grip clinging to the baskets even tighter. Then you pull your neck back a little more to check his reaction; eyebrows pressed together gently in confusion. 

"Oh," Suguru exclaims immediately, removing an unconscious pout . "I thought you were a sorceress, did you just quit?"

You squeeze your eyes tightly shut, flattered and at the same time conflicted that he knew who you were. This was not something you should be ashamed of but you are. You find yourself on your knees, on the floor with questionable hygiene in a supermarket working for minimum wage while your crush, with whom you had never exchanged more than five sentences, looks down on you like an all-powerful being. 

It felt humiliating in a way. His long black hair caught completely back in a loose low bun that seemed to have been done effortlessly, a few strands escaped giving him an appearance of casualness. You were sure he was heading to his classes, smelling as if he had just stepped out of a cold shower, Suguru exuded a mild spicy cinnamon fragrance and you forced yourself not to inhale. 

He was impeccable, while you—

Not so much. 

Finally you stretch your legs to be about his height and a cramp immediately hits your calves like a hard whip. Seeing you limp, Suguru rushes over to hold you in place with a gentle smile that fills you with warmth. 

"Are you okay?" The question sounds intimate in your head, otherwise why else would he be mumbling? He was closer this time, revealing the aroma of the coffee he'd probably had before coming here. 

His fingers disappear from your forearm and you regain your stability still with your legs tingling. 

"Thank you," you say, avoiding his eyes at all costs. "I needed more money and thought I'd get a part-time job." 

"Why didn't you apply for more missions? You could have talked to me or Satoru." 

Maybe that was the problem. There were no lower rank missions you could go on, the city had been quiet for a while now, Satoru and Suguru were taking care of the S-rank missions and third grade sorcerers like you didn't have much to do those days which meant less income.

And besides, you'd rather quit than talk to Suguru or Satoru alone, asking for more missions? You couldn't physically stand Satoru teasing you and his flirtatious personality or Suguru looking you up and down, giving you all the attention you've always craved from him (ironic, since that's exactly what he's doing now).

"I'm still new, I don't think I'll be assigned any more missions," you excuse yourself. "Besides you guys take care of the special missions, there's only so much sorcerers like me can do," you laugh dryly, trying to joke your way out of the pincer squeezing your shoulders.

Yet Suguru doesn't laugh with you even though the corners of his lips are stretched upwards giving you a flash of his pearly teeth. He looks you up and down as if scanning you which makes you feel aware of what a mess you were at that moment (your hair tied in a disheveled bun, very different from his, an olive green apron next to the cap of the same color and your blue jeans that are probably dirty from being on the floor every day). 

Finally, his eyes return to yours. 

"You have potential, I've seen you training, why don't you take the exam to move up a grade? I could recommend you for first grade sorceress even."

He had noticed you. He had actually noticed you in the field, somehow Suguru managed to hide his energy to watch you train alone maybe for hours and the thought makes you move from side to side to release tension, suddenly the air around you is very hard to breathe, heavy like a big wool blanket sinking you towards the ground making you realize that your cursed energy was leaking out of you, overwhelming you with feelings you couldn't control and you knew Suguru could clearly notice it. 

"I see..." muses Suguru in a low voice, his tone indicating that he discovered something that perhaps you were unaware of. "You can't control it, can you? That's why you abuse physical training." Just as before he again checks your body up and down, it's as if he's observing the pain in your thighs and feet, the calluses on your hands. 

The last is an affirmation so you don't need to respond. "Yeah." You still do, since responding vaguely was much better than continuing to gawk at him.  

"C'mere." Suguru takes a step forward and your muscles tense but you allow him to break into your comfort zone, he stretches out his arm showing you his open palm and you understand that you expect him to do the same as he does. Like a mirror, you raise your left hand close to his chest and he immediately takes it and begins to trace the natural lines marked on your palm with his fingertips. 

You startle, the sensation is strangely pleasurable. It makes your skin tingle. 

"Think of it as a current of wind, it flows inside you like a hurricane. You have to concentrate and imagine spirals in your hand...like this." Speaking softly, as if he is explaining to a child why the sky is blue; Suguru changes the circumference of his strokes to start spirals on your skin, numbing your senses and although it is difficult you let yourself feel the sensation of having him touching you directly and try to channel what you are feeling. "You have to learn to control your emotions to get control of your cursed energy. I can teach you." 

Was that why you couldn't feel his or Satoru's cursed energy sometimes? Do they have that much control over their emotions? His words lead you to ponder. 

"Teach me?" You parrot back, questioning his suggestion. 

"You want to learn?"

"Yes." You are quick to respond, still in the trance his caresses had led you to dive into. It was hypnotic, his touch, having him close, his scent, all your senses were excited, being assaulted by the very person who was going to help you control them and you're not sure how that's going to work. 

"Come see me after my classes. I'll be waiting for you." 

Then he pulls away from you, immediately your previously suspended arm in the air joins the other at the side of your thigh. Your hands become clenched fists, your teeth sink a little into the soft skin of your cheeks, forcing the sudden pain to keep you upright and aware because you were orbiting around him, trapped and pulled towards his body like a magnet and you didn't want to act on impulse and ask him to touch you again. 

"Today?" you question him, filling the silence with your voice.

"If you want to," he replies, almost downplaying it. 

"I do." You are quick to respond, which almost makes him smile. His lips quiver in a sort of grin that seems familiar to you (it was exactly the one Satoru wore whenever he had the chance to flirt with you).  

"I'll be waiting for you," he assures you, bringing his hand to the infinity of his pockets and you see in his posture the decision to then turn away from you and leave the place which makes you remember.... 

"Oh! Geto... were you looking for something?" 

"Yeah, right. Almond milk for my girls." He suddenly remembers, though your confused face makes him elaborate. "The twins." The mention of the pair of girls detonates flashbacks in your memories. You've heard something in the hallway, something about him being a hero and rescuing a pair of sisters from a village of non-shamans who were abusing them. However you didn't know they maintained such a close relationship, from the aura that surrounded him when he mentioned them it almost feels like a father-daughter relationship.

You nod. "Follow me."

You walk beside him and his footsteps immediately follow the trace of yours, so silently that you seem to be alone. You can't feel him, but the sensation of being watched is always on you, heavy like cold ice pressing against the back of your neck. In aisle four you find what you were looking for, a box of red and white shades with an almond in the center, so large that it takes up a large part of the middle, it sits behind a carton of whole milk and oat milk, right in the small refrigerator at the back. 

The heat of the natural environment makes the carton sweat, wet drops sticking to your hands before you can hand it over to Suguru. 

"Thanks," Suguru says, grabbing the much sought-after almond milk. Now the twins could make that protein shake they had told him so much about. "I have to go but I'll be waiting for you if you decide to stop by."

"Sure," you assure unconvincingly to both him and yourself and turning around Suguru disappears away from you. 

Your eyes follow him to the end of the aisle, he looks huge in comparison to the store and the various aisles, at least a couple of heads bigger making it easy for him to easily peer over them if he wanted to so you doubt for the duration of a blink if he truly hadn't found the milk himself. You notice his shoulders stretch and contract every time he takes a step, only when you stop watching him do you realize that you had held your breath at some point in the past. 

On that day Suguru realized two things. First, you had (a lot of) potential and he would make you see it. You needed to work on your confidence, you just needed someone to trust you just as someone trusted him when he discovered his innate technique. The second thing is, apparently you like him as much as he likes you. 

Notes. I can't get gojo's name out of my mouth which worries me.

[yuzurins]

# circles

in which: sae’s tired of running around in circles with an undefined relationship, so he decides to take his chance when he can to make you his.

warnings: kind of unorganized, mentions of alcohol, intoxicated reader, insecure reader, mutual pining, just a bunch of comfort and fluff, honestly strayed from the original prompt t-t

reblogs and interactions are appreciated!

itoshi sae is a busy man.

being the most sought for japanese football player and as well as a regular on the real matrid team meant he was always doing something football related. practices, games, events, you name it.

his schedule is packed with plans set months before they happen. companies and teams always request to see him sooner, but he makes no exceptions for anyone, not even his own family.

well, that goes for anyone but you.

itoshi sae has found himself breaking his own ideals without any hesitation. he‘s standing in front of your apartment, 5 hours, 27 minutes and 54 seconds before his flight back to spain, after an obviously drunk text you sent him 10 minutes ago.

1:22AM

y/n: saweewea

y/n: did u knwo a broken heart hurts REAL bad😍

sae: what

y/n: i think i’m goign to crush my cat with my body weight

y/n: u fg hhh hj jgjjgjhhhrkdoforjfof

sae: where are you rn

y/n: ogm r ru gonna come visit me 😎😜🥺

y/n: i’m soooerirjf lonely

sae: .

sae: be there in 5

sae doesn’t know whether to ring the doorbell or call you to let you know he’s here. heck, he’s not even sure whether you’re at home or not, but he does know that it’s not often you go out to drink. as he’s hesitating, you hastily open the door, almost like you could sense him there.

“sae!” you slur, just barely avoiding stumbling over yourself as you straighten up. “i didn’t expect you to actually come visit me.”

“neither did i.” he scoffs as he takes in your current state: graphic anime tee (which he gave you last christmas), sweatpants, messy tangled bun and your face is entirely red. you reek of soju and he knows better than anyone you’re a lightweight, so sae mentally prepares once more for what he’s about to get himself into.

the response from the magenta haired in front of you causes a pout to form on your face. he’s not quite sure if it’s just his imagination or not, but it looks like you’re more down, more tired than usual.

“are you okay?” he asks, and this prompts you to stretch your arms out, almost habitually, and wrap them around the taller male’s torso.

sae flinches ever so slightly at your touch. he gently pushes you back into the apartment as he closes the door, all while having one arm wrapped around your waist.

it’s obvious you’re not in the right mind space, but as everyone says, drunk words are sober thoughts, though sae doesn’t know whether that’s good or bad. you getting blackout drunk as a result of academic stress has become a monthly occurrence now, and it always ends up with sae coming over to babysit you. he’s more than aware of the fact that you’re taking his presence for granted, yet despite that, he’s still always there for you.

you’re obviously more than just friends, so why does sae feel like the line separating friendship and relationship just keeps getting thicker?

you latch onto him like a koala as he shuffles over to your couch. he doesn’t force anything out of you, doesn’t show any impatience, and just waits for you to talk.

the two of you quietly bask in the comfort of each other’s arms for a long time. just as sae begins to loosen his hold on you believing you’ve drifted off, you cling onto him even tighter, refusing to let go of his warmth.

“don’t go.” you mumble into his hoodie, voice quivering, and sae wonders if it really is school stress that’s made you this way.

humming in response, he pats your back lightly as if he’s caring for a baby, trailing his hand up to your head to play with your hair.

sae doesn’t want to pry, but there’s something he really needs to confirm before it eats his thoughts up even more.

“i won’t leave,” he reassures. “did anything happen?”

a sound comes out of your mouth in response, barely louder than a whisper. sae turns his head to look at you and you take it as a request for you to repeat your words. you try again, and this time, you’re still mumbling, but it’s enough for him to make out what you want to convey.

“i’m sorry.” and a tear falls from your eyes, “i’m sorry, sae.”

now sae’s been in this position for countless times, always coming to be your personal therapist at unearthly hours in the night, but this is the first time he’s ever seen you act so vulnerable. he can feel your body trembling against him and his heart aches just seeing you so dejected.

but he’s not dense enough to not realize what you’re apologizing for, because it’s the same reason as to why he decided to ask in the first place. he gently removes his arms off your waist, turns you to face him and moves his hand up to wipe the tears streaming down your cheek.

this tender, silent exchange between the two of you is more than any amount of words that express. sae’s usually indifferent eyes are laced with affection, and you just can’t help but feel so guilty because of that.

“i know you’re really busy,” you avert your eyes, biting on your bottom lip to stop yourself from breaking again. “you’re always doing so much for me, and i feel so terrible because i don’t deserve any of it.”

sae doesn’t say anything, letting you finish your thoughts before stating his.

“i was watching one of your games earlier, and i was reminded of the fact that your world and mine are so far apart.” you’re still looking away, but a soft nudge from sae’s hand pushes you back to look at him. “i just—i feel like i’m not enough for you, sae.”

through watered eyes, you can catch the expression of the male in front of you waver, and with years of knowing him, you’ve mastered the ability to be able to tell what emotions are going off in his mind.

“i know it sounds silly—“

“it’s not silly.” he interrupts, despite being patient all this time, but struggles to find the right words to continue. “is this what you’ve been feeling since back then?”

you shake your head, and lean forward to rest it on his shoulder. “the internet is scary.”

sae lets out a soft chuckle at your unintentional joke, and moves his head to rest it on the side of yours. “but what only matters is that i’m here in front of you right now, yeah?”

“it’s true that i’m busy, but i’ll always be your anchor of support whenever you need it, seriously.” his fingers find their way to intertwine with yours, and your heart flutters at how romantic he’s being. “so don’t cry sweetheart, because you’re breaking my heart as well.”

the use of the pet name makes you giggle, it being so out of character for sae, yet that’s how you know he really means it, from the bottom of his heart. hearing the sound of your laughter allows sae to relax his shoulder from all the tension he unknowingly had been feeling, and he cups your cheek with his palm, bringing you face-to-face with the taller male.

his eyes study your features, taking in your beauty, before going back to make eye contact with you. though you notice how they flicker down to your lips and hover there for a split second longer than anything else, your heart thumping loudly at the realization of what he’s asking of you.

you flash him a small smile in response as approval, and sae wastes no time closing the distance between you two. his touch is soft, almost like he’s afraid of breaking you, and easily washes away all the worries clouding your mind.

sae droops his arms over your shoulders and rests his forehead against yours. “you were always and will be more than enough for me, y/n.”

his sweet words bring a red flush to your face (not from alcohol this time) and you purse your lips in embarrassment as sae’s grin only gets bigger.

“so just hurry up and be mine already.”

BONUS: the morning after

you wake up with a pounding headache, and immediately try to get up to get a drink of water, but your body doesn’t budge at all.

as your eyes begin to adjust, you look down to find sae and his arms locked around you, causing a scoff to come out of your mouth.

of course you couldn’t move when a whole professional football player (incredibly fit btw😍) has a death grip on you.

“sae, wake up.” you nudge him and he only whines in response. “didn’t you have a flight to catch this morning?”

“mm, shush.” he takes one of his arms and lightly pushes you back down into his embrace. “who cares about that, been waiting for this for far too long.”

you laugh and decide to give in, slowly drifting back to sleep.

meanwhile, sae’s nonstop vibrating phone on your nightstand is totally unnoticed, the cause being hundreds of messages and calls from his manager wondering where he is.

[bluebelleisabelle]

Free G3 Monster High Episodes (to be continued)

SEASON 1

1. The Monstering or option 2 (for those who may not have access to the Nick website)

2. Food Fight or option 2 (for those who may not have access to the YouTube channel)

3. Unfinished Brain-ness or option 2 (for those who may not have access to the YouTube channel)

4. Case of the Moondays or option 2

5. Portrait of a Monster or option 2

6. Witch Hitch

7. Part of the Pack

8. That Thing You Deuce or option 2 (preferred option, as it’s through an official medium)

9. Werewolf Weekend or option 2 (same information as #8)

10. Paw-zzle Pieces or option 2 (same information as #8)

11. Nightmare Nightmore or option 2 (same information as #8)

12. Out of Step or option 2 (same information as #8)

13. Pyramid Scheme or option 2 (same information as #8)

14. What’s Up, Watzie?

15. So Familiar

16. Crushed

17. Over Bro-tective

18. Horoscare

19. Flaunt Your Skeleton

20. Creepover Party

21. Creature Clash

22. Monster Movie

23. Earworm

24. Spell the Beans

25. Growing Ghoulia

26. Casketball Jinx (same link as above)

27. Cleo in the Kitchen

28. Case of the Missing Squeak (same link as above)

29. Pet Problems

30. License to Rock (same link as above)

31. Power Heist

32. Monster Midterms

33. Fur-mergency

34. Boogey Nightmare (same link as above)

35. Best Fiends

36: Scareer Day (same link as above)

37. Stone Alone

38. Horsin’ Around (same link as above)

39. Moonlit Fieldtrip

40. A Little Boost (same link as above)

41. Fresh Waters Run Deep

42. Sew Fierce

43. Witchful Thinking

44. Monster Match

45. The Monster Way

SEASON 2

1. Rule School

2. New Witch in Town

3. Play It Again, Clawd (same link as above)

4. Mummy in the Mirror (part of the beginning is missing; the first few minutes can be found in this video)

5. How to Scare a Banshee (same link as above)

6. So Chill

7. Mixed Up Meowlody

8. The Haunted Sand Castle Caper

9. Fangs for the Memories

10. Two-Riffic

11. Monster High-Jinks

12. Vamps Just Wanna Have Fun (same link as above)

13. The Babysitter’s Crypt

14. Humans in Highschool (same link as above)

15. Dawn of the Dread

16. Frankie Patrol (same link as above)

17. The Deuce Date

18. Big Paw, Little Paw (same link as above)

19. Ghoulishly Ghoul-ma

20. Gill to the Rescue (same link as above)

21. Oh Rats

22. Fired Up (same link as above)

23. The Shapeshiftian Candidate

[solkver]

airdrop ⋆·˚ ༘ *

chapter 16... ᝰ.ᐟ are the gays done fighting yet?

content warning! written angst under the cut, violence/fighting, slight mentions of blood, lots of profanities, anton and y/n massive anger issues lol

✄┈┈┈┈ october 26, 2024 – 9:27 pm

"y/n" anton begins, hands on his hips, "what the fuck is going on with you and sohee?" a frown graces his features, clearly displeased with the situation.

"nothing" you answer clear as day, eyes honest. it makes anton fume, what do you mean nothing?

"I'm not playing y/n"

"I'm not either" you respond back just as quickly as anton retorts at you, "why are you always playing dumb with me y/n?" anton groans, a hand running through his tousled hair, "just answer me for real"

"nothing, anton. sohee and I are nothing."

anton sighs, frustrated as hell, "so, what? you guys sleep next to each other as friends?" anton dryly chuckles, "hell, you guys aren't even friends" and maybe anton was right, but something about hearing it from him irks you to your bone. but this is anton, your brother, you're never going to succumb to him, "yeah, basically"

"what?" anton asks, stunned.

"I said, we fuck around but thats it"

that seems to hit a nail in anton's head, his brows shoot up and his pupils are blown wide, "get your shit together y/n! he isn't one of your boytoys like before"

you frown at the term used, evidently offended. fuck, it makes your blood boil that anton had been digging at your past relationships from the get go, "sohee is my best friend, y/n. he's not some boy you meet at the bar and bring home"

you click your tongue, stepping closer to the fuming boy, anger levels slowly matching one another, "what if I want him to be my boytoy, then what chanyoung?"

that really does it for the younger, his hands flying to grab at the collar of your shirt, practically puncing on you "don't fucking call me that"

what kind of man were you if not pounce back at your brother, right? you snatch at his wrists and push him back, "what? chanyoung?"

really, you should've just stepped down from the pedestal of your pride because you're reminded just how much stronger anton had become when his fists meet your cheek, "I'm not fucking around, y/n. do you like sohee or not?"

you huff, your left hand cradling your punched cheek while your right grabs at the front of anton's shirt, your faces barely centimeters apart, "it's none of your business" you seethe, spitting a mix of drool and blood on the sand, a couple getting on anton's face before shoving him away and going back into your cabin.

no matter how angry you get at anton, you know better than to hit him back. you were better than that, way better. but with the bruise forming on your cheek, you really second doubt your choices. sigh.

𓏔 i. MASTERLIST 𓏔 ii. BACK 𓏔 iii. NEXT

synopsis! bored sohee decides that airdropping memes at his best friend's gig would be the best way to kill the boredom. much to his luck, the drummer of his best friend's band, who he's been crushing on for years, is the one that got his meme airdropped to.

author's note! DONT JUMP ME FOR THE ANGST AND FIGHTING GUYS 😞😞😞 taglists still open!

taglist! @pinklemonade34 @luvkyu @naseobseob @kmusicreblogs @desafortuno @dontwannaexsist @onementally-unstabel-kid @kaijunodos @kaiyunsim @xavi-in-kpopland @prettybluei @gnusihcom @shuaeunie @leoleoleone @nootnootpinguuu @conwunder

© solkver 2024 - all rights reserved. please do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or share my work on other platforms. thank you.

[back2bluesidex]

Afterglow - JHS

Pairing: Husband!HoseokX Wife!Reader

A follow-up drabble of Girl Crush

Theme: Angst, arranged marriage au, hurt to comfort au, little bit of fluff

Wordcount: 1.6k+

Request: "Afterglow with hoseok. Where the reader and hoseok had a fight, and hoseok walked out, which left the reader thinking about the argument. thank uu💓"

Summary: Hoseok looks at you, smiles at you, and makes conversations with you unlike Yoongi. Hoseok’s eyes are full of warmth and adoration for you unlike Yoongi. Hoseok feels for you, unlike Yoongi.

Based on Afterglow by Taylor Swift.

Warnings: angst, reader was previously divorced, argument, some annoying aunties, mentions of divorce, past relationship, broken marriage, that's all

Minors are not allowed in this blog!!

A/N: You guys are really persistent. Most of you wanted a follow up of Girl Crush. But I had 0 mind of doing so. So, I turned this request in a drabble and made it into the part 2. Hope you guys like it. And no more parts will be added to this.

If there are 100 people in this room right now, then 80 of them want to be at your place, in your shoes. But you would sign your soul to the devil to be anyone else other than yourself. 

You are not being cocky, neither ignorant… you just can’t take it anymore. 

Being rich doesn’t mean you are the happiest person in the world, but quite the opposite. At least in your case.  

Being rich means losing your right of loving a person and being loved by them as you are nothing but a pawn that is to be exchanged at the right time through the right deal. 

Being rich also means you will be traded again and again even if you are a worn out, old, rugged piece because there would be someone always trying to buy you at the lowest possible price. 

That’s how you landed on your second arranged marriage (as if the first one had not broken you enough), your second husband and this is the second time you feel like you are falling and breaking, crushing your soul, exhausting your emotions to its extent. 

Three years ago you got married to Min Yoongi, someone you loved and someone who loved someone else. 

It’s been two years since you divorced Yoongi. It’s been two years since you walked out of his home with a broken heart.  

Yes, your love life certainly didn’t gain anything out of your and Yoongi’s broken marriage but your father gained what he was promised with.

For a year, you tended your broken heart, your insecurities, you made yourself believe in the fact that you indeed deserved to be loved. Just because your first husband didn’t love you, doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. 

Just when you were at the peak of your healing, your father decided to sell you off once again. This time to a larger empire, holding more power, more wealth and endless benefits for your company.  

“It’s only been a year since my divorce, appa! How can you sell me off once again?” You had cried, screamed at your father for the very first time in 27 years of your life.

“Dal, Mr. Jung made the proposition. He said you have caught his son’s eyes! How could I say no?” he reasoned. 

You didn’t say anything more that night. For once you contemplated running away somewhere far from all of this. But your rationality didn’t allow you to leave your old father embarrassed and helpless. So you stayed.  

And, this is how you ended up here, tugged at the side of Jung Hoseok, your husband. 

Hoseok looks up at you with apologetic eyes and you know he is sorry. 

This is one of the thousands of differences you have found between your married life with Yoongi and your married life with Hoseok. 

Hoseok looks at you, smiles at you, and makes conversations with you unlike Yoongi. Hoseok’s eyes are full of warmth and adoration for you unlike Yoongi. 

Hoseok feels for you, unlike Yoongi. 

But the question is do you feel anything for him? You don’t know. 

Or maybe you do but you are way too afraid to start feeling again, to start loving again. 

“But darling, why her? She divorced her previous husband within a year!” Mrs. Lee, one of the shareholders of Jung Group of Companies, exclaims in her high-pitched voice. Even though she’s trying to keep her voice as low as possible, or at least pretending to do so, you can hear her clearly.   

The hold of your drink goes tight. Mr. Kang is complementing how good you are looking tonight but you can barely hear anything. All you can hear are the taunts that the old snitch is throwing at you. 

“Mrs. Lee, it’s business.” you hear Hoseok saying and all of a sudden everything around you turns dark. 

You whip your head to meet Hoseok’s eyes but he is avoiding looking at you. 

Within seconds your vision starts blurring. So, the impromptu dates, the youtube recipes, the sweet gifts, that luxurious honeymoon, those late night beers.. Everything was for business? 

You were wrong the entire time you thought you had seen love in Hoseok’s eyes? 

All.. all of it was business?

Or was it pity? 

Hoseok knows everything about Yoongi and you. Is that why he treated you kindly?

Your life feels like a lie and once again.. You see your hopes crumbling down like a house made of cards. 

“Why?” you throw your purse on the couch and stand abruptly in the middle of the living room. 

Tears stream down your face. You successfully suppressed your anger for the better part of the night but it is impossible to do so anymore. Since you and your so-called husband are alone now, he better answer your questions. 

The tremble in your voice hints Hoseok that you are crying. He takes long strides and reaches where you are. 

Placing a hand on your shoulders, he turns you around and murmurs, “Y/N? What-” 

He tries to wipe your tears away but you swat his hand, “why were you always so kind to me? Why? Because it’s business or is it because you pity me?” 

“Y/N.. No. it’s not what you think. I told her-”  Hoseok tries to hold your trembling form with both of his hands but you push him away as harshly as possible. 

“You told her because it’s true. All of those gifts and dates and dinners.. Everything, everything was a lie!” screaming at the top of your lungs, you break down. 

Hoseok runs towards you, tries to hold you in his embrace. 

“Don’t.. Don’t fucking touch me!” you seethe through anger. Hoseok retreats. 

“Okay, I won’t.” He replies calmly but you can see his eyes filling bit by bit, “but just so you know, you were never business for me. Mrs. Lee only shut up because I said what she wanted to hear and she is not a family or a friend so I would have to explain the truth to her.” 

“No- don’t. Don’t lie!” your voice comes out harsher than you intended to.

“You think I am lying because I said something insignificant to someone insignificant just today but what about everything I did to make you realize how I feel for you?” Hoseok’s voice trembles. And it hurts you but you are hurt as well. 

“You don’t feel anything for me. And you, too, should know that I don’t and won’t feel anything for you.” your heart breaks at the lie you throw at your husband but the way tears run down his face.. It instantly makes you feel like a criminal. 

“Is that so?” he asks, sniffing once, “then.. I should leave you alone.” 

Before you can register what’s happening, you hear Hoseok walking out of the door and shutting it loudly enough to signify his departure. 

And then you start wailing, loudly. Your cries fill the empty space of your apartment as you realize you are all alone once again. 

Staring at the moon always brings you solace but tonight it doesn’t. Your mind keeps playing whatever happened a few hours ago and how hoseok left the house. 

He has always been so kind to you, from the very first day you two met at a charity gala, some five or six years back. You didn’t really acknowledge his presence much as you were always busy admiring Yoongi from afar. 

You remember Hoseok once saying that he looked at you while you looked at Yoongi. You were not sure what he tried to mean but that was the first time your heart took an erratic pace in a while.  

A phone suddenly starts vibrating, pulling you out of your thoughts. But it’s not yours. Your eyes find the glowing object near by the door. It’s Hoseok’s phone, which he probably dropped on his way out. 

When you reach the object and pick it up, the screen glows again. There are a couple of notifications, which you clear for seeing the background. 

It’s a photo from your honeymoon. The photographer ajussi forced you to stand closer and place a sweet kiss on Hoseok’s cheeks. He blushed hard that time. 

Sobs start spilling from your throat as soon as you realize what you have done, what you have lost. 

You blew things out of proportion, you put him in jail for something he didn't do. You unloaded all of your insecurities on the man who only loved you.

Clutching his phone on your chest, you start crying again. It’s you who burned things down. It’s you who hurt Hoseok. And now you have lost him, really lost him. 

The door clicks open, forcing you to look up from your crouched position. 

“Y/N..” it’s him, it’s your man, it’s your husband, Jung Hoseok. 

He walks towards you but then remembering something he takes a step back. 

His eyes are red. You know he has been crying just like you.

“I- I forgot my phone-” 

Before he could end his sentence, you leaped at him. You hold him tightly in your embrace. Hiding your face in his chest, you cry, cry and cry. Hoseok holds you back and starts sobbing with you. 

“I love you. I fucking love you so much that it hurts, Y/N. It hurts when you don’t understand, when you turn blind eye.” He says as he strokes your hair softly. 

“I- I was afraid, Hoseok. What if I was wrong again. What if- what if you didn’t-”

“I always did, Y/N. I have loved you for a long time. I loved you when you were a bachelor and I loved you when you got married. I loved you when you divorced him. And I loved you when we took vows. I still love you and I always will.”   

“I love you too, Hoseok.” you finally confess and it feels euphoric. You must have found utopia where the person you love, loves you back. 

Hoseok leans down, seals your lips with his and now you know… You have found your forever. You have found your afterglow.