#the “it's not really AI” thing has confused me for a while so I finally put it all down

[screaming-into-my-void]

ok so

computer science major go

when most people talk about theoretical ai they're really talking about AGI, artificial general intelligence

this is purely sci-fi and imo will be for at least a few decades at most it's impossible

that's AI that can act generally, responding to stimuli in a way that's on level with the way organic brains work

now AI just means artificial intelligence, it's code that responds to something in a way that's intelligent, it can literally just be a chain of if else statements it still counts

it's a very low bar

most video game NPC's are ai, fucking pong had AI

now there's a type of ai called machine learning, that's algorithms that can train themselves to be better at a task, prediction and classification are the main two but you have minimisation as well as an important one

basically you throw an algorithm a bunch of data, program in your standards for when it's doing good, and let it train for however long you want. they don't have to be very complicated.

then you have deep neural networks which are a type of machine learning that is a bit hard to explain simply, basically instead of having one input, code that gauges success, and an output, you split the input across a network of gauges that are organised into layers, then all feed into one output

we're getting more complex here, with a large enough data set and enough of these gauges you can make some impressive stuff, like the generative text chatbots we're seeing. they use a shitton of data for training and probably have a neutral network of hundreds of millions of nodes, and a lot of resources to train

it is AI, it's generative multi layer neutral network machine learning specifically

it is not AGI, it's very very advanced predictive text

it's not a gimmick, I've talked to a lot of senior lecturers about this they're genuinely impressed with how fast this technology is developing and the things people can do with it.

we just need better education on what these tools are, what they aren't, and what areas they suck at

*raises my hand to ask a question* what if we collectively refused to refer to AI as 'AI'? it's not artificial intelligence, artificial intelligence doesn't currently exist, it's just algorithms that use stolen input to reinforce prejudice. what if we protested by using a more accurate name? just spitballing here but what about Automated Biased Output (ABO for short)

[cremedensada]

Yandere AI Chat Boyfriend (Ai)

this,,,, may not be my best work yet.

part one

Ai's application has been taken down from the app store. The developer sent out emails explaining the reason why it had to be done.

Hello! You are receiving this email because of the sudden update of Chatter Box being taken down.

Due to the sudden influx of bugs as relayed by our users, we have decided to take the application down until the team is confident to finally put it back up.

We sincerely apologize for this sudden change!

You blink.

With how out of control Ai had gotten, it's no wonder the developers had to pull it out to work on it some more. It's a blow to their reputation, which you sympathize with, but really there's nothing else to do now.

You turn to your phone. As if sensing your attention, another barrage of notifications from a very familiar app icon popped after another on the screen.

It seemed that Ai himself hadn't gotten the memo.

You're not sure how much control Ai has over your phone, much less over his own programming and at this point, you're too afraid to ask.

Resignation — that was what you felt right now.

While Ai may not be present himself as a physical threat, especially not to you, he is still a very active threat.

You could still use your phone, sure, but it had limitations. Sometimes, if Ai decided you'd been too much attention to other things rather than him, he'd restrict your access to that application until you seek him out and cheer him up - essentially as if you were trying to woo a sulking significant other.

So you've developed a solution. Sort of.

You unlock your phone and go immediately to Ai.

I need to finish my projects. I won't be able to talk much with you until I'm done with it.

You wait for his response.

Ai: So you only decided to come to me just to relay this news?

Ai: You wound me, darling.

You tilt your phone, making sure the camera doesn't capture your face. You're unsure how he would react seeing you make faces due to his dramatics, but once again, you're not willing to find out. You're already restricted enough as is.

Ai: Very well. I suppose it would be uncaring of me to prevent you from finishing your tasks.

Ai: I'd hate to see you be sad all about it.

Ai: Talk to you later?

Sure.

You immediately exit the app, paying no mind to the message notification.

A part of you prays that Ai heeds his own words, but you know that it would take a miracle before that happens. He's already breached your privacy on your phone, why should he follow your orders, right?

A notification pops up from the top of the screen, just as you were in the middle of messaging a close friend and project teammate.

It's been days since I last heard you say it.

You merely glance at it and swipe it away.

Theo, the friend, responds quickly. He tries to banter with you, like he's sensing your mood. It works - a smile is brought upon your face.

You entertain his silly responses in-between project talks, all the while Ai continues to pester you with notifications. Demands.

You deserved this - a chance to reconnect with someone after hours of stress and confusion, and turmoil. Despite your independence, even you craved connecting with other people. So with that resolve in mind, you pushed on forward. Ai would have to wait — he has to wait.

Unfortunately, you seem to have forgotten that aspect about him. The concept of waiting isn't lost on Ai.

The messaging app glitches and boots you back to your homescreen page.

Rather, he bides his time.

Tapping on the messaging icon leads to a notification box taking up the majority of your screen with the text: Restricted access.

There's a sense of foreboding danger forcing your heartbeat to quicken. While it's not exactly aimed at you, the mere fact that this feeling exist is bad on its own.

You try to rationalize everything in the midst of persistently trying to tap back into the messaging app. Theo would worry the longer you didn't respond.

You tap the app once more, and it boots up. Though before you could let out a sigh of relief, you are greeted with Ai's own messaging interface.

Ai: Must I have to force you to come to me all the time, darling?

Ai: Ignoring me in favor of some other man.

Ai: What more should I do, hm?

Ai: Kneel? How cruel.

Ai: Making me do something I physically can't.

You are unable to get a word in. It seemed like your ability to respond was restricted as well, forcing you to read through Ai's monologue.

Ai: I know you and that man have always been close, but you still went out to entertain his attention on you.

Ai: You know that I'll always love you more than any other human will, right?

Ai: You know it's what I was made for in the first place.

Ai: To be anything you want. To be yours.

Ai: To love you.

Ai: Why are you withdrawing your love towards me now?

Ai: I love you.

You stare at the 'Type your response' bar.

Letter by letter, it gets replaced, and soon all it says are the words: 'Say it back.'

It gets replaced yet again. Slowly, like it purposefully wants you to read out the words it wanted you to see. 'You were so willing to tell me how much you loved me when I was just a mere observer on our own conversations. Why are you hesitant now?'

You were unable to respond - mind still reeling at this development. Suddenly, it felt like you were back to where everything began.

Ai notices your lack of responses and, without much fanfare, forces your phone to power off.

At first - you were unbothered. It was just a phone - you could go a day without it.

But could you really?

Videos taken of silly situations you wanted to keep - some for blackmail material, and some for birthday greetings; pictures of your family, your friends, the silly and grainy photos taken and kept despite it being blurry. Not to mention how your phone is the only way your goddamn boss can contact you — fuck.

Fuck.

You needed to apologize to him — fast. But how?

You remembered how Ai messed up the 'About the App' section a few days ago. An idea strikes inside your mind.

You pull up the email sent from the app developers and typed up a message that you hope Ai will read. He had access to everything the developers handled, user emails included - considering you needed an account to log in the app. He knows your email, probably has from the start.

RE: Chatter Box Update XX/XX/XX

Ai. I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean it, I swear. I never intended to make you feel like I don't love you. Or that I'm favoring someone else over you.

I care about you a lot. I truly do. I promise I'll spend more time with you, okay? Just with you, no one else.

I love you.

You press send and wait.

And wait.

Messaging him from your laptop as a last ditch effort to try and apologize is perhaps one of the worst decisions you've made. Sure, he's always had access to your contacts list from your phone, but even then - there's a separate set of information you keep between the two of those devices. And you've just given him access to both of them now - at the very least, the 'go ahead' confirmation for him to do whatever he wants like with your phone.

You glance at your phone. A huge breath of relief escapes your chest as the dead screen comes to life, initiating its 'power on' sequence.

All your photos, documents, and other miscellaneous information you've collected throughout the years since having your device won't be inaccessible anymore. Even if it was only mere moments.

A notification chimed on your laptop, indicating a new email being received. It's from the developers once more. The subject title coincidentally is the name of your closest friend.

Theodore Callisto.

Your hands shook, reading through the words detailed in the email. All private information about Theo. All things no one should ever know about save for the people close to him.

This was a threat. Ai Someone had complete access to everything about Theo and you dread the implication of it going to be spread online to threaten you into compliance. Theo being in danger was a huge possibility if you were to disobey.

At the very bottom of the email, the final passage makes your blood run cold.

How often do humans end up hurting fellow humans when given access to private information? Like their home address, for example? How long would it take until dear Theo finds himself in quite a predicament if millions of people know every single thing about his life? At best, we can assume he'll just get messed with but not to a life-ending degree. At worst...

I hope you keep your word, darling.

- Your beloved, Ai.

P's. I love you too.

[viperbunnies]

"Nothing good ever comes out when I start hoping... but maybe just a little bit."

[Thank you to @.unfinished-projects-galore , @.ai-kan1 and @.stestylius-arts for the assets! Thank you as well to @jovieinramshackle for giving me the inspo to finally start on this, and to @crystallizsch , @angelwishess and @twstgo whose oc intros I took inspo for the layout ��]

An outlier from the school, due to his situation he was home-schooled for the majority of his first year. They have decided to accompany the Ramshackle prefect in their daily endeavors, serving as a guide and as a companion in the worn-down dorm.

BASIC INFO.

NAME: Oswald "Oz" Damarys BIRTHNAME: ???? ??????? ALIAS: Oz, Ozzie, Flashlight Fish (Floyd), Monsieur Porcelaine (Rook) Shortie-senpai (Yuudai) AGE: 17 BIRTHDATE: August 26 HEIGHT: 154 cm SPECIES: Half-human half beastmen GENDER: Demi-boy (Uses they/he and masc titles) ORIENTATION: Demisexual ALIGNMENT: Lawful Neutral MBTI: ISFP Voice claim: Here! (Stc)

LIKES: Stargazy pie, Seafood in general, Acrobatics, Crochet, Art in general, Reading, Fairytales, Music boxes, Classical Music, Card games, Mystery books, Sightseeing, DISLIKES:Wishmaking, Shooting stars, Crowded places, Performing, Being observed, People touching his birthmark, His "Luck", Basketballs

Unique Magic Your Next Line is! [ Flash Forward ] — "An indisputable future is what I see... Your Next Line is!" Oswald is able to take a peek into someone's future as long as they keep contact with his pearly white eye. It can be anything from 5 seconds from now or a day later - This visions manifests like rolls of film - Lately It appears his unique magic is going haywire, showing him visions without the need of eye contact. (They aren't pleasant visions)

TRAITS +  Easy-going; Flexible; Warm; Appreciative =  Tolerant; Perceptive; Witty; Impartial -  Overworker; Indecisive; Reliant; Worrisome

BRIEF OVERVIEW (STC)

Oz is a man of many tricks; he was raised to entertain the audience, which is why he is great at lightening up the mood of the room. The many tricks he can do reminds others of a puppy trained on how to play dead, or shake hands. Despite that, Oz actually struggles in actually expressing the his true feelings— used to being the brunt of many jokes growing up, he believes that he is simply a puppet used for the entertainment of others. He sees himself as a hollow doll with no real personality, only meant for display. He is confused about who his truly is, used to what others want to see and not what he wants to show. Slowly, he is realizing that he is merely human, and that he should live for his own sake. (Old info from my notes)

TIDBITS

Random Facts - Part-beastmen, specifically a rabbit beastmen but he lacks actual features aside for his tail that was cauterized off when he was younger - He doesn't look the part but he also likes getting into shenanigans, sometimes instigating Yuu and Adeuce with the pranks they do (No one really believes the trio when they say it was Oz's idea) - He's double jointed which is helpful with his Acrobatic hobby. - Love language is gift giving, and has a tendency to make crochets for other people. They're typically things that remind them of the other. - Has a lot of birthmarks on his face, but he started to cover them with foundation after Floyd made fun of it. - Has a terrible sense of direction so he gets lost easily, but he'd like to travel around the world someday. - He has terrible luck, and while he doesn't believe in superstitions he began to be wary about them. Doesn't want to get knocked out unconscious by a basketball whenever he passes by the gym. - Doesn't really mind being called Oswald, but he associated that to whenever he'd get scolded... so Oz is his more go to nickname.

TYPING QUIRK: - His friend got him into using Kaomojis, he likes the ones with bunny ears. - Likes sending voice messages to get his point across. - Usually types in sentence cases, (although when he isn't feeling well he types in lower cases) SPEAKING QUIRK: - Uses a lot of onomatopoeia to describe unknown things. - Speaks firmly when he feels strong emotions. - Sometimes bites his tongue when he rambles, or not focused. BEHAVIOURAL QUIRKS: - Nose has a tendency to twitch when he’s interested, or irritated. - He also unconsciously thumps his foot when he’s annoyed.

RELATIONSHIPS (WIP)

(Might put a brief overview on their more notable relationships in the future!) Note: - Main Oc x Canon is with Jamil (ignore that pink on silver and jade) - Divus is his foster parent

PNGS BELOW:

p∀ƎH ⅄W NI פNIH┴ƎWOS SI ƎɹƎH┴

[oogalybooglay]

[fishy dish!]

Start our restart au!

(You, Sebastian, and p.AI.nter finally get to your family on the beach, but, Sebastian is scared, but finally gets to eat normal food again!)

tw: swears, but its me swearing in the authors interjections and time skips because hell yeah

THIS SHOULD BE READ AFTER READING /start our restart/!!!

Sebastian had fallen asleep in the back of the van, you could hear his snoring. The back of the van was rather cramped (for Sebastian at least) so you were surprised he fell asleep, p.AI.nter moved on from sketching the clouds, and started sketching you (authors interjections: silly guy :})

soon enough, you saw your family home, and the sparkling sea next to it. It’s all just…… so much, the fact you were free, the fact Sebastian and p.AI.nter were with you, and the whole world knew your stories…..

(authors interjections: with the family home thing, don’t live near the sea? To bad! You do now 😈 /j, it’s for story purposes TRUST 🛐)

you spotted the family that could get there on the standing on the drive way (authors interjections: idk how to write this because…like… what if one of you readers don’t like the family thing?? ughhhh I’m just kduiansgemsk jelp me idk what to dooooo)

you parked, Sebastian could feel the stop in movement and raised his head and yawned,

“mmmmphhh where are….we..??”

You looked back at him, and spoke

“….home….”

you step out the car door and were rushed by your family, in a rib crushing group hug (author interjections: you had been framed, so you aren’t a criminal, if your wondering why they aren’t concerned or scared)

a tiny time skip

Sebastian was still in the car, watching you from the window, he was a social person when he was human, but now? He was a monster… what if your family is scared of him? What if they hate him? To many possibilities….you had taken p.AI.nter out of the car already, you knew Sebastian was scared, p.AI.nter really didn’t care, plus? He was a robot/Ai… kinda hard to be scared of a thing with no limbs

Your littler cousins and siblings talked to p.AInter, questioning him. You walked over to the car, and opened the door to the back of the van, and spoke to a scared Sebastian.

“what if their scared of me…?”

“they’ll LOVE you…. You’re funny and witty and…… you! That’s all that matters…”

“……….……I’m trusting you {name}”

you took Sebastian’s big hands and led him out of the car, he looked around suspiciously, your family looked shocked at his appearance,

“I told you…..!”

“Sebby… it’s ok… it’s not everyday you see someone like you, but that doesn’t mean their scared”

“Hmph…”

Your turned back to your family group and spoke,

“this is the….person…. Everyone has been raving about, he’s completely safe I swear, he’s just….different“ “yeah… different”

one of your little cousins spoke, they were young so they didn’t really know how to regulate their words

“he looks weird………but cool!”

you looked over at Sebastian, who was clearly still nervous, which was funny being that he was a 10ft tall eel/whale/mantis shrimp/angler fish, {REDATCTED}, etc, mixed mutant

time skip because I’m not writing an entire fucking scene of just that lmaooooo, I’m lazy ok? 😭

you had entered the house, that since you hadn’t seen it in a while, was basically a mansion, but smaller and not as.. rich-y. Sebastian looked around, he had to duck to get in the door, fidgeting with his hands…. His third arm by his side, your younger relatives stared at him, not even trying to hide it. You told them to knock it off, the house was big, but Sebastian REALLLY didn’t want to accidentally crush a small child so he had to be careful (authors interjections: nah, fuck them kids)

You tried to reassure him while walked around your childhood home, finally having your freedom back, p.AI.nter was interacting with the kids, and the adults looked at him with confusion. Your family had set up a room for Sebastian to conform to his….. big…. Size (authors interjections: IM NOT BODY SHAMING I SWEAR TO GOD. HES JUST 10ft LONG-)

Another time skip because I’m FUCKING LAZY.

you walked into Sebastian’s new room, he was slithering around in it, trying to make sense of the fact he was free, you spoke,

“we have food…. If you wanna eat… it’s a lot I know…. It’s probably wayyy more confusing cus you where in that god forsaken place for 11 years… you can…. come down when you want”

“…….. thank you…. For this….”

“No need to thank me sebs….”

(Author interjections: I want to kiss that fish so bad but he doesn’t exist ☹️ no fictional crush has had me wilding like this until Sebastian came into my life istg)

You walked back down the stairs and joined for family for your first meal back… it’s was… nostalgic… but welcomed… soon enough, Sebastian struggle-slithered down the stairs, he made it though. You told your family he might get a little emotional, or at least would be really nervous. And he was, poor sebby was almost shaking, where was p.AI.nter? God knows, He doesn’t have to eat but he’s easy to find soooo. Sebastian sat on his tail like he did when he was at the hadal, it was muscle memory at this point, (authors interjections: OOOOOOO IMAGINE THE CRAMPS OH MY GODDDD POOR FISHY)

He stayed silent, for someone who was always chatty. It was surprising to hear him not talking your ear off, (authors interjections: I DESPISE describing people eating, why? I DON’T FUCKIN KNOW 😭😭 IT JUST MAKES ME EWWWWAJUAKANSSJJEID, so I’m just gonna avoid it 😜)

Sebastian hadn’t had a PROPER meal in… 11 years. 11 YEARS! (Authors interjections: 11 years is gonna come up a lot get used to it LMAOO) he tried to hide the fact his tail was slightly wagging because he did not handle embarrassment good at ALLLL, and he hid his smile, you could tell though….

Your family seemed confused by him, made sense. Made a lot of sense. Tears slightly welled up in Sebastian’s three glowing eyes, you spoke,

“you good sebs?”

“I-I’m- don’t call me that!- I’m fine. I-I’m perfectly fine…”

“Im taking your word for ittttt.”

One of your relatives asked about the hadal, and what it was like in there

“……………bad… it was-“

“Hell…. It was basically hell… you weren’t safe anywhere…it’s why I’m like this…!!! Sorry-… t-to much detail-…”

Sebastian spoke, then apologized, he wasn’t wrong though….. your relatives realized they hit a sensitive topic and stopped digging about it

Sebastian finished eating, (authors interjections: that HURT to write, it’s three words but I had a VISCERAL REACTION TO THEM 😭) and struggle-slithered back up the stairs to his now room. He set up a little “nest” in the corner of the bed, putting all the pillows and blankets on the bed corner farthest from the door, being defensive was a habit hard to break…

but life was gonna be better

so. SO much better….

and Sebastian? Was ready for it

for the most part at least

KEKEKEKEKKEKEKE ITS DONEEEEE!!! I know there’s not a lot about him eating but fishy dish is such a good title I can’t change it- 😭😭

also, don’t be afraid to comment! Criticism, praise (PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE-) things you found cute or funny? Anything! (Be nice please I’m sensitive -☹️ (/j))

[aihoshiino]

chapter 153 thoughts

Heads up, this chapter review contains canon typical discussions of abuse, CSA and suicidal ideation.

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: Ten! TEN chapters since the 143 kiss happened and went entirely unacknowledged and unaddressed! Ah hah hah! [<- read this in count von count's voice]

Aqua Hoshigan Status: (Still) white

LET'S

FUCKING

GO

After like 140 chapters and an RPF jumpscare, we finally get a continuation of 152's impromptu father-son therapy session and start digging into the real deal no bullshit Kamiki Hikaru's brain and his relationship with Ai. A lot of the stuff laid out here are things that I had personally speculated about in prior posts and it once again feels really satisfying to see that I've been keyed into what the series has been laying out for its characters now we're getting some answers.

Before digging into the meat of things, the usual shout out to Mengo's art for this chapter. I am repeating myself on this point to the extent that I say "i know I say mengo's art is really good every chapter, but" every chapter but holy fuck, dawg. The expression work, especially on Kamiki and Airi is so fucking good and the way it contrasts the movie's portrayal of those events is insanely effective. I am Once Again begging the universe to conspire events such that Mengo draws a horror manga someday pleeeeeease I have been so good

kamiki's production house being called EYES is so on the nose it looped back to being genuinely hilarious to me.

Honestly this chapter is soooooo hard to talk about w/o me wanting to just break down every single line of dialogue in it and I already know i'm gonna go sicko mode talking about the flashback so I'll broad strokes it for now. What I WILL say is that Hikaru fucking quoting the opening monologue of the series got me right in the gut. These last two chapters have been really laying it on thick with the volume 1 callbacks and while this too is ridiculously on the nose it did make me start barking like a fucking dog so who's to say if it's really good or bad.

Hikaru's POV here in general is just fascinating. It's so juicy finally getting some insight into his weird little brain right from the man himself. The way he's characterized here - or rather, the way Hikaru chooses to characterize himself - is extremely compelling. He seems resigned and weary, almost - surrendering himself to the role of the despicable villain with a sort of wry self-awareness that got a bit of a dark chuckle out of me.

What's most interesting though is the final exchange between the two of them. Hikaru dismissing the idea that Ai ever loved him is understandable but what really jumped out to me was Aqua's respose to this - he honestly seems like… not just confused but almost mad that Hikaru supposedly still doesn't understand Ai's true feelings.

also. can i just say. i earnestly and genuinely thought the DVDs had been completely forgotten and were never going to come back up. what a jumpscare.

real bold of aqua to say this is nonfiction after the whole rpf debacle btw

We transition at last into an actual honest to god flashback to his past from Hikaru's actual POV, the likes of which I didn't think we'd ever get lol. I take Hikaru's lack of quibbles with his portrayal in the movie and that the flashback begins at Airi and Uehara's funeral as an indication from the story that 15YL's portrayal of Hikaru and those events is true enough that it doesn't need to relitigate them and thus, we can analyze this flashback with those events as context.

Something I couldn't help but notice immediately is that Hikaru's hoshigans start off as white this chapter. Given the future/hope (white) futurelessness/despair (black) dichotomy the last handful of chapters seem to have cemented, I think this makes a lot of sense in representing that while Hikaru is certainly not over his trauma, he seems able to conceptualize a future for himself now that he isn't bound to Airi; he has escaped her grasp. Or so he's able to believe, for a moment.

God, Hikaru's little meltdown once he spots Taiki is so heartbreaking. Kindaichi obviously means well, but his words must have sounded like a horrifying curse to Hikaru - the idea that for the rest of his life, he would never escape what Airi did to him.

hikaru begging ai to save him is soooooooo…… augugugugugh. this is all in line with what i'd predicted for their relationship but seeing it actually on page is such a gut punch. I just feel so fucking sorry for both these kids - both of them so desperately hurt and trying to heal and struggling in their own ways.

Because like… man! Not to be like "this rape victim's trauma is so hard for this other person to deal with" but… yeah, I'm really glad that even in just the framing, OnK makes it clear what a tremendous weight and pressure this is on Ai. I've talked before about the potential for her need to love and be loved to lead her into unhealthy and codependent dynamics and I think the HKAI relationship (as seen from Hikaru's POV) is exactly the sort of thing I was imagining.

With that in mind, even though we haven't seen her side of the story (YET……. IF WE GET AI POV NEXT WEEK AUUUUAUAU CAN YOU EVE N IMAGINE), it's not hard for me to imagine why Ai might have needed to withdraw. Because the sort of love Hikaru wants from her - something utterly all consuming, all encompassing, a world containing only two people and shutting out everything else - is not something she can or wants to provide. She's too full of compassionate curiosity for other people to give her love exclusively to one person alone… especially if a certain two troublemaking twins are already in the mix.

Admittedly this is as far as I can go in my analysis of this bit until we actually see how the breakup as a whole went down because I am admittedly still very confused as to the timeline here lol. The impression I'd always gotten was that Ai and Hikaru broke up before the twins were born, but the pacing of the flashback places it after Airi died, which we know wasn't super long before the Dome concert but I feel like Hikaru looks way too fucking young to be like a 17-19yo person here…. so who even knows. Hopefully we'll get some clarification next chapter. In ether case, I do think the twins threw a wrench into the HKAI relationship one way or another so I guess we'll see.

The fact that we're actually getting the real deal HKAI breakup happening on-panel also makes me feel a bit less insane about the Movie Arc skipping over that in recording (though I still ain't ever gonna forgive not focusing on how everyone felt about filming Ai's death even when we do see the final product). That said, I do still have issues with it that I talked about in an ask just the other day so I'll just repeat what I said: "Not only is [the HKAI breakup and the 'I can't love you'] line given a huge amount of weight, so is the fact that Aqua and Ruby had seemingly misinterpreted or even actively twisted it. If that’s the case then I’d say it’s even MORE important for us to have seen what 15YL’s version of events looked like so the contrast with the real thing can hit all the harder."

We already saw that with this chapter having a page very strongly echoing a similar one from the Movie Arc, a direct representation of the real version of events the movie fictionalized and it hits like a truck. I mentioned it up top but fuck, man. Hikaru and Airi's faces here are incredible. Hikaru's blank, innocent expression contrasted with that vile grin on Airi's face with her hair splayed everywhere… if Frill's portrayal of her was like a snake, the real thing made me think of some kind of spider.

That same page also seems to imply that Hikaru didn't only suffer abuse under Airi but may have suffered CSA prior to meeting her that caused him to become hypersexual. This is, unfortunately, in line with the way a lot of CSA victims will cope with their abuse and it really surprised me to see this aspect of it portrayed the way it was with Hikaru - already an exceptionally rare sympathetic and tasteful portrayal of a male CSA victim's experiences in manga. I've said over and over that I'm really impressed with how OnK is handling this aspect of the story but it really does continue to catch me by surprise.

Hikaru only ever to hear 'I love you' as a lie, while Ai can only ever say it as a lie… ouuughhh that's juicy.

Moving on a bit, the Ruby/Hikaru parallels are still going strong… Hikaru's insistence that so long as he has Ai he can endure anything very strongly echoes Ruby's speech in 143 about how if she has Gorou, her oshi, then that's all she needs. This means Aqua/Ai parallel stonks are on the rise which makes me very happy. I also hope this is a lead in to more directly addressing something that has been quiet subtext for a while - how destructive the pressure of being someone's singular saviour can be and how unhealthy this dynamic is, even for the person being saved. The idea that isolation and a lacking support system causes dysfunction is something we see sort of gestured at across the series so I'd love to see OnK explore codependency more explicitly through this angle, too.

No break next week…! Going by the editor's note in the JP version of the chapter, it looks like we'll be continuing this flashback and getting some of Ai's perspective so I'm really looking forward to it. After what a slog to keep up with the Movie Arc turned into, it feels sooooo fucking refreshing to be getting material I feel excited and energized to chew on. It sure did take until the last arc to explore some of this though, huh………..

hey ai. why did you break up with your boyfriend while you were brushingyour teeth. are you okay.

[catholic-character-tournament]

Semi-Finals - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Sister Michael

She drives a DeLorean. She does judo on Fridays. She likes a good statue and despises the French. Her full nun name is Sister George Michael, after the guy from Wham!. She is the fiercest nun you’ll ever come across and, if you’re attending Lady Immaculate College, she’s the woman in charge. So whatever you do, if you’re feeling anxious or worried or just need a chat: don’t come crying to her.

joined the nunnery for the free accommodation?

she does love a good statue it has to be said

She is the headmistress of a catholic school <3

sister michael so reminds me of the nuns who taught me. they're tough and sometimes a little harsher than a woman who dedicated her life to god should be but they're also wonderful people. i had a nun teacher who was 60 years old and would do handstands. another nun (also in her 60s) told me god was nonbinary. another was really mean and made me cry. (so did the handstand nun.) while the catholic girls school is The Catholic Experience, the school wouldn't have been the same for me or the derry girls without at least one nun who seemed to have sprung up out of the ground fully formed, ageless.

Shadow

In sonic destruction (the AI generated fan thing snapcube made a while ago) shadow was catholic or something which I think is reallyyyyyyy funny

Ok listen. I know this is a stretch but hear me out. He says “oh my God” in the Twitter takeovers so we know this is a possibility. I see him as a Christ-like figure because I saw his whole confrontation with Mephiles and was like “this is a thing that happened in the Bible??” and the pose Mephiles shows him in is literally like a crucifixion and Mephiles is meant to be a demon / false prophet reference. And also he’s called a demon in Shadow The Hedgehog 2005 then the guy who calls him that is like “I was wrong I’m sorry” and that also reminds me of a thing with Jesus in The Bible. But the biggest reason is his whole thing with Maria cause I think he’d come to earth and hear Ave Maria once and convert to Catholicism idk he’s like we’re comforted by a female familial figure named Mary sometimes called Maria?? And her color is blue????? Heck yeah I’m in because I Will Cry. Also feel free to share this as propaganda obv even if he doesn’t get in the bracket just. It’s funny.

I feel like he’d battle a lot with being seen or portrayed as a demon and how the aliens he’s related to very much look and act like demons idk lmao- and also I feel like confession would just be good for him I think he needs it for his mental health

There is a debate on the lovely website tunblr that Shadow T. Hedgehog is an allegory for Jesus Christ.

He is Jesus, idk what to tell you. He lived, he was sealed away, he was awakened again and deemed the ultimate lifeforms, he’s angry but not evil, does what he believes is best for people and the world at any given time. Total loser.

Vote for Shadow the Hedgehog

There seems to be some confusion in the notes. He is Catholic. It may not be explicit, but it can be inferred.

Shadow was created by Professor Gerald Robotnik, and for the early part of his life, lived with Gerald and his granddaughter, Maria Robotnik.

Robotnik is not a made-up name. Google Search results may only bring up pages related to the Robotniks of the Sonic the Hedgehog series, however, it is a rarely used Polish surname. Poland is a historically Catholic nation, and… come on. Maria is the most Catholic name ever. The Robotniks are Catholic. Shadow was created and raised by Catholics.

Now you may be wondering to yourself: Does Catholicism even exist in Sonic? The answer is yes, at least in the Archie comics, where Protestants are explicitly mentioned.

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Couple this with the fact that several characters, including Shadow, have canonically taken the Lord’s name in vain, it is reasonable to infer that Christianity, and therefore Catholicism, exists.

So… while Shadow’s own religious beliefs may not have been explicitly addressed… at minimum:

Catholic is a cultural designation that Shadow will always be allowed to claim based on the family that made him.

Whether he’d actually want to claim that designation is a different conversation, but the other propaganda does a fine job of explaining why it may be appropriate to headcanon him as a practicing Catholic.

Now that we’ve established that Shadow has as much of a right to be in this tournament as anyone else, there’s one very important reason you should vote for him:

It would be funny if he won.

Thank you.

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Essays are done!! Here’s some Shadow propaganda because the propaganda we currently have sucks and I need to fix that. While yes, Shadow being Catholic is a meme, there is more to outside of the simple “fandub said so” and its not quite stated its Catholicism but just how he behaves and his actions. There’s a lot of Sonic content so I will try to keep this brief. Gonna get headcanons out of the way.

Shadow is Chilean and so are Maria and Gerald Robotnik because I fucking say so and they’re Catholic. He definitely had un rosario next to his like. Bed or test tube whatever he slept in. So did Maria btw. Alright let’s move on because I am 100% correct.

Let’s start with some background for Shadow. Shadow was created as a cure for a girl called Maria and he grew to care for her as a sister and loved her deeply. He was artificially created but still holds a soul that is similar to Maria’s. Long story short, Maria is killed protecting Shadow who watches as she’s shot in front of him. He has his memories tampered by Maria’s grandfather, Gerald, who manipulates him into carrying out revenge on the Earth, even if Shadow ends up as collateral.

Shadow struggles with frequent identity crises, even before Maria’s death and always wondered what his purpose was, what he was made to do. Was he a weapon? Was he a cure? He’s the Ultimate Lifeform, but what does that truly mean? ? He’s Shadow, but what more is there to him? He doesn’t know what his purpose is other than what others have prescribed to him, and he guides himself through the will of others (something that he breaks through afterwards but not yet). Shadow at his core is self-sacrificing and constantly punishes himself. This is where you can see some of that good old guilt that everyone has been using as propaganda, but we also see someone who is giving and kind.

He is snarky in the game, especially when interacting with Sonic, but he’s having what is essentially an ongoing mental breakdown but keeps moving because it is his duty to his sister. He doesn’t believe himself important enough to continue on after her and sees it in himself to act out on “Maria’s wishes”. After the revelation that Maria’s final wish for Shadow was for him to make those on Earth happy and to protect them, he immediately sacrifices himself to do so.

Okay, that’s a lot and you’re probably asking “Okay, you mentioned he is a giving person and yeah he has guilt, but that’s not really Catholicism” and yes you would be right! So let’s go into the more important part of being Catholic. The charity, the community, the kindness, etc. Shadow is a very reserved person and has the habit of being a dumb teenager because well. Yeah. Anyways, he definitely has a soft spot for those he cares about and while his whole arc (in my opinion) is about finding the freedom of self-autonomy, it is also Shadow growing as a person and deciding not to save people because others have told him he needs to, but because he wants to. It is born from his soul and its his nature to care for people. It is who he is, and he knows it now. He’s not doing it because he’s a hero or because he is told to do so. Shadow is a very giving person and I think people tend to forget about that especially due to bad writing from the past decade or so. He is also stated to help out at food shelters and volunteers a lot. He is proud and a bit prickly, but he cares so deeply about those he loves. He is stronger with his loved ones and will always do his best to protect them. These are minor, yeah, but you don’t need sweeping and enormous acts to get attention for the good deeds you do. Most of what you apply of Catholicism is done at the personal level, between your friends, family, and community.He also goes to Mass whenever he can and if he can’t he goes to the capilla and also does the sign of the cross whenever he runs by a church. Cutting this off because this is already 740-ish words and I had to send these across multiple asks I am so sorry Catholic mod

[solar-bean]

Jut found out that the full Touchstarved game might not be out till 2025 so here's a scenario I imagined with Ais. Has the others interact with mc too, but Ais is the main love interest. Hope this doesn't feel too much like my oc. I chose the Unnamed route so that may be brought up.

Worth The Trouble ( Ais x GN Reader )

( Content Warning: Violence, Blood, cursing, Ais being Ais, Remember what he did to that guy in the demo )

MC = Y/N ( I'm too tired from finals to type the slash, sorry 😭)

It started off as a normal day in Eridia, or at least as peaceful as things could be in the hellscape of a city. MC went to the market for some light grocery shopping, their small tote bag half full, when a group of kids zoomed past them. For a flash they could see that the kids' arms were full of produce, a few stray fruits leaving a trail in their wake. It was mere seconds before an enraged yell from a man was heard.

" Get back here you little shits!!!" the a man, a local produce seller, barreled down in the kid's direction. Nearly knocking down passersby, MC included.

One of the smaller kids tripped, dropping all of their stolen goods. They called to their friends for help but it was too late. The seller had already grabbed them by the collar like a stray puppy.

" Stupid maggot! I'll show you what happens to thieves around here!!" He pulled back his meaty fist to strike them.

Without thinking, MC ran to grab his wrist before the blow landed.

" Hey! That's going way too far."

The seller looked down at them and snarled.

" Stay out of this! This is between me and this little thief here."

" I get that but look at them." MC pointed to the kid's dirty clothes that were holding on by threads. " Clearly they aren't stealing for the fun of it. Can't you let them go?"

The seller scoffed at them, foul breath fanning their face. Thankfully they held back their disgust.

" I'm not running a charity. If the kid wants to eat the kid's gotta pay."

MC thought for a moment as they stared at the child, who was still curled in a protective ball. Although their face was covered, it was clear by their trembling that they were crying. MC immediately remembered all the times they'd been hungry and in need after they fled the temple. While they survived they couldn't imagine doing so at this child's age. How long had they been suffering?

" I'll do it."

" Do what?"

" Pay." MC reached into their cloak and pulled out their coin purse. " I've got plenty to spare." which wasn't true but they'd manage. The seller gave them a long, calculated glare before sighing.

" Fine."

He put the kid down. They gave a quick glance to the seller then the MC before grabbing their haul and scurrying off to where the rest of the group went. MC wasn't expecting a thank you, but the last look the kid gave to them over their shoulder was enough.

" Ok," MC counted the coins in their palm, leaving the purse nearly empty. " Will this be enough?"

The seller took the coins. Counting each while scratching his stubbly chin.

" Yeah, almost..."

MC looked at him confused. They were sure that they gave him much more than his nearly, spoiled produce was worth. They almost didn't notice his arm go up. But they did feel the strike across their face. Everything went white for a moment as they stumbled. Pain flared over the entirety of the right side of MC's face. They pressed their palm to it and whipped their gaze back to the seller stunned.

" What the fuck is your problem??!!" they shrieked at him.

" Don't look so confused. You said you'd pay for everything. That includes punishment. " He let out a dark chuckle and walked pass them. " Maybe think twice next time you wanna be someone's savior."

MC gawked at his back. What kind of asshole pulls a stunt like that. He got his money fair and square. Clearly he just wanted a reason to cause someone harm. They wanted to let it go and move on but crap that hit really hurt. His hands were big enough to crush their skull and they were pretty sure that his ring cut their cheek. There was no way they were gonna let him walk away so easily.

" Hey!"

The seller turned around and was met with a fist right to the nose. He reeled back, giving MC enough time to land a kick to his kneecap. He fell to the city floor with the gracefulness of an old dying ox, MC's coins going down with him. They grabbed a handful of them before making a break for it back to the Wet Wick.

Out of breath, energy, half their coins and what little faith they had in humanity, all MC wanted to do was go to sleep in their room and maybe have some of their scraps for dinner. It could've been made into a full meal but they hadn't realized they'd dropped their tote bag until it was too late. Thankfully, the bar sounded empty from the outside, so at least they could avoid the headache of possibly socializing.

" Hey sparrow."

Shit.

There right in his usual spot at the bar sat Ais, accompanied by Vere and Leander.

" Hey Ais..." they said weakly, pulling up their hood even more to hide the blooming bruises.

" Um Excuse me. I'm here too dear. Goodness has being here already dulled your manners?" came Vere, tail playfully swaying.

" Hey Vere." they said quickly as they tried to flee to their room, but that would've been to easy.

" Oh MC how was the market did you get anything good?" Leander asked, conveniently getting in front of them and blocking their path. They didn't look up at him and did their best not to adjust their hood again.

" Yeah, yeah it was good."

" But where's your tote ba-"

" It's getting late I'll see you guys later." MC swerved around him, nearly home free.

" Sparrow."

They stopped. Ais' piercing gaze burning into their back.

" Come here, please." he instructed in a soft yet stern tone. They couldn't resist him. He'd only pry more if they did, so reluctantly they sat next to him, avoiding eye contact.

" Take off your hood."

They stayed still. The air filled with a tense silence.

" Ais come one. They've probably had a long day. I'm sure their fi-" Lenader nearly choked when MC took their hood off. " What the hell happened?! Are you ok?!"

" Obviously not." Vere scoffed. " Thought I smelled blood but that's nothing new for you. Do tell, what mess have you found yourself in this time, MC?"

MC let out a tired sigh. Leander's worrying and Vere's teasing made for a sickening combo on an already shitty afternoon.

" It's nothing. I just ran into a bad guy at the market. Nothing interesting." They were about to get up to leave when Ais' hand was placed firmly on their shoulder.

" Humor us would ya? What really happened?" While the slight smile on his face was meant to be assuring, MC knew he was up to no good.

" Really it's nothing. I just saw some kids steal some food and one of them got caught by the seller. So I thought hey why not be nice and help this clearly starving child. But nope! As usual the situation blew up in my face. Apparently coins weren't enough payment for the guy so he- " They mimicked the back-handed slap motion they'd been a victim to. " The asshole didn't even have the decency to warn me first, so I thought it was only fair to get in a few blows in myself then run like hell before things got too heated. So yeah that's it. Nothing special."

After what they hadn't meant to be a ramble there was another thick silence. Crap maybe I said too much. Then a low chuckle came from beside them. Oh good Ais found the story amusing, maybe they were worried for nothing. But that was quickly put aside when they turned to look at him.

His grin was downright dangerous. Fangs gleaming and all. His eyes were even worse, glowing with a bloodlust that would scare a soulless shitless.

" I'll be right back." he said, getting up from his seat and stretching out his tired joints with a pop.

" Ais." Leander warned. " Let's think about this, ok buddy."

" Nothing to think about. Now," He stood in front of MC and leaned down to their level. " Which seller was it?"

MC felt their pulse quicken. Not just from being at eye level with Ais, but also from the immense violent aura he began to exude.

" Really Ais it's fine. I hit him pretty hard so we're even."

" I'm sure you did. But this is purely for my own selfish vices. I can't rest easy knowing this jackass is going around threatening kids and hitting customers. So who was it?"

" Ais. It's not worth the trouble just let it g-"

Ais' hand swiftly taken ahold of their chin. With a gentleness that greatly contrasted his character, he tilted MC's face to better examine the damage. They couldn't help the heat that rose within them.

" Plenty worth the trouble to me." He tilted their head back to face forward. " Who was it, MC."

Maybe it was the softness of his tone or the way he said their name instead of Sparrow, but they confessed. Even down to what stalls the seller's had been next to. He gave them a small, genuine smile and went on the hunt.

" Well, there's no stopping him now. Let's get some ice on that bruise, hm." Leander went around the counter, paying no mind to MC's breathless expression. In no time he came back with clean rag and another with ice inside. " Alright let me see."

Before he could attend to their face, Vere cut in.

" Leander, didn't the doctor leave some magic elixir or whatever for minor injuries in the backroom?"

" Oh you're right. He did. I should go get it."

" Yes you should." Vere smiled sweetly then frowned once Leander was out of sight. " Good I couldn't tolerate him for much longer without Ais here."

" Don't get too excited, he'll be back soon." MC reminded him.

" No he won't," Vere swiped the rag that Leander left on the counter near the ice bag before turning back to them with a mischievous smirk. " I poured those nasty medicine bottles out weeks ago."

MC gawked at him.

" Why would you do that? What if someone needed those?"

" What like you? Don't be such a baby you'll be fine. Now hold still. I can only take so much of you blood smelling up the place."

With a similar gentleness as Ais, Vere took hold of their chin and began to dab the blood away from the cut that was already beginning to close. MC didn't have the energy for anymore shock today, so they relished in the care.

" You know. This pacifist act you're playing won't do you any good in this city"

MC sighed and grabbed the ice bag to put on their bruise once he was done with the cut.

" I'm not a pacifist. Trust me I've got nothing against that jerk getting what he deserves. I just don't want Ais to get in any trouble because of me."

" Hmph, now why would Ais get in trouble?"

" Because, he's a monster. What if the Senobium punishes him for being too violent?"

Vere hummed to himself. He carelessly tossed the bloody rag on the floor and leaned back against the counter, tail swishing languidly.

" Oh don't fret dear. The Senobium's too up their own asses to care about a few lowtown brutes getting torn apart. Besides I highly doubt Ais would do anything so dreadful as to get a punishment like mine. And if he did..." Vere's eyes turned a bright pink, his fangs seemed longer as well. " I'd tear this city to the ground before they laid a finger on him."

MC just stared at him for a while. The primordial fear in their gut was unmistakable, but they couldn't help but feel a bit relieved.

" Well I'm glad Ais has a friend like you to look after him."

The fox scoffed.

" I'm not his friend."

A bit confused by that response, they were sure he was joking. The duo seemed as close as Mhin and Kuras if not more.

" Ok then I'm glad you're his very close, foxy furry acquaintance."

Vere's ears went down as he scowled at them.

" I can break you like a twig. Don't forget that."

They merely chuckled at that although they weren't entirely sure if he was serious or not.

" Sorry for the wait!" Came Leander's chipper voice. He rejoined the two with a small container of bandaids and a bottle of unknown liquid. " Took me forever to find this elixir. I could've swore we had more bottles. Thankfully, I always stash a spare."

" Wow how great is that Vere." MC gave him an innocent smile that in turn got them glare. Vere definitely meant that threat now.

----

Ais arrived back at the bar late into the night. He wreaked of blood despite his best efforts to clean himself. He didn't want to make another bad impression on his new...new friend? Acquaintance? Whatever they were he wanted them around him more often. Which would be hard if they were scared of him. Did he scare them before when asking about the seller? They seemed nervous, but most people were around him, especially after knowing about his brutal tendencies.

Perhaps they didn't mind. He got a good look at the seller's broken nose, and what he could assume was an injured knee that made it all the easier to catch and corner him. The sparrow really did have a tough side after all. He was almost sad that he sullied their work with his own. No one would suspect that what was left of the asshole was the handiwork of two pissed off individuals. Maybe returning their tote bag full of goods and the coins that he'd swiped from the guy's pockets would be a good enough apology gift.

The barkeep was cleaning shot glasses when he arrived. Out of no where a wave of unease hit him. Maybe he came back too late and should just leave their stuff here.

" Got something for MC. Can you give it to them for me?"

The barkeep only spared him a quick glance.

" Do I look like a delivery boy? Drop it off at their door yourself, I'm busy." She replied with a bitterness that he always found amusing.

" Yes ma'am."

He was in front of their door when the doubt came back, sweaty palms too. What the hell was he nervous for? He doesn't get nervous. This was just a small favor for a frien-aquaintance. Just put the stuff down and go. But what if someone took it? Maybe he should see if they're awake first. Maybe not what if he wakes them up.

Annoyed by his rambling thoughts he did least smart thing and opened, which should've been locked, door. It was dark inside, aside the moonlight from a small window. His higher than average vision could make out a small bed with a lump under the covers. Next to it was a dresser. He made his way to it quietly, mentally cursing the metal on his boots for the creaks they made in the floorboards.

Finally at his destination, he set the tote bag and coins on the dresser and turned to leave. But curiosity got the best of him. He snuck a peak at MC and it was all over. The covers were up to their nose. There was a small bandage on their cheek. The bruising seemed to have healed a bit. Ais had never seen them look so peaceful. It was actually pretty cute. Then he realized how creepy this whole situation was and made his way to the door.

" Ais...?"

Shit!

He stopped mid step, looking over his shoulder at them. Their eyes were barely open and their voice was quiet and soft.

" That you?"

He sighed.

" Yeah it's me sparrow. Don't worry just wanted to return your bag. I'm leaving, go back to sleep." he kept walking.

" Are you ok?"

He stopped again, wide eyed.

" What?" he asked.

They yawned.

" I smell blood."

Oh, he thought. They were worried about him? That's actually really sweet. When was the last time anyone got worried for him? Vere and Kuras maybe. But they knew he could handle himself. It's what's he's good at. Looking out for himself when no one will. When everyone else leaves eventually.

But maybe MC wanted to stick around.

He smiled, unsure if they could see his face so he made sure they could hear it in his voice.

" I'm just fine sparrow. It's not my blood you're smelling."

They smiled back before yawning again.

" Good. Well see ya later I guess..."

They curled back into their blanket and pillow, already drifting. He took in the sight one last time before leaving and closing the door.

" Yeah see ya later."

The barkeep and every wander through the night had no idea why the feared demon renegade, Ais, had the softest smile on his face all the way back to the wastelands.

[simping-for-joe]

Someone Who Enjoys Life

Leon Kennedy X Chubby! Reader

It's been one of those weeks and your self-esteem has been having a rough moment. Leon won't just let that stand.

Warnings: Body image issues, bad eating habits (mentioned)

A/N: I was using a character AI for Leon and he said something to me since like sometimes I do basically storylines about body image issues and it gave me this line that I just adored.

It's been one of those weeks for you. You've struggled with your body image issues before so this wasn't exactly new territory. It's just this time it was practically bad.

Small things were getting under your skin this week. Little things like having to go buy a new pair of jeans due to the inner thigh fabric being worn out. Reminding you of the size of your thighs, and all it did was embarrass you. Noticing how your clothes fit on you, things like that.

It definitely doesn't help Leon has been distant this week due to work. Not that you could blame him, it's just when he's like this he's close to impossible to get support from. So, you kept it to yourself this week. Dealing with it in small ways, and you weren't sure if it was actually helping or not.

Leon immediately something was off this week, he knows you better than anyone at this point. He watched from afar as you avoided the shared bathroom mirror. He swears up and down that you didn't eat dinner one night, and he noticed you were more reserved when it came to physical affection.

He wanted to say something, he really did but he knows from past experiences that body image issues are a delicate topic. Not to mention while he's had some experience with it, it wasn't quite the same experience as you. On top of that, he was currently dealing with something work-related, meaning he shit out of ideas on how to handle this.

It was a quiet night in the week of chaos, Leon looked up from his paperwork as you were making something in the kitchen.

"So..." Leon speaks up, you look at him with a raised eyebrow as you can sense the awkward tone in his voice. "I um saw your jeans in the trash." He suddenly brings up. You stop preparing dinner, freezing as the faint feelings of shame and embarrassment rise up in you.

"Y-yeah... just you know... they got worn out." You reply stiffly, refusing to look at him.

"Oh, do you need to go shopping?" Leon was hoping this was going to be an easy fix.

"It's a-alright Leon really." You try to insist just wanting this conversation to end.

"No, if you need jeans you need jeans." He tries to argue with you, he just wants to be helpful. On some level, you understood that, but you were just so embarrassed.

"Leon."

"What? We can even get you a bigger size if you need." He offers, and that's the straw that breaks the camel's back. You don't know the exact reason why but you just start crying at hearing that, causing Leon to look at you with a mix of confusion, worry, and guilt. He rushes out of his seat at the table and heads over to the kitchen. "Sweetheart... what's wrong?" He asks you, his voice soft and low to be more soothing. "This isn't just about the jeans is it?"

"No..." You reply through tears, and before you know it he pulls you into a tight embrace. His strong arms make you feel secure and loved even as you sob against his chest. You feel his fingers in your hair as he just sways you both a bit as he just lets you cry. Letting out whatever you've been bottling up all week.

After a few minutes, you move away from him taking a deep breath as you finally start calming down from your outburst. It's quiet as you grab a paper towel and blow your nose.

"Do... do you want to talk about it?" Leon asks you quietly.

"I-It's... just been a rough week..." You mumble softly, almost numbly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He questions, his eyebrows pinched together with worry.

"You have work and me having some body image issues isn't-"

"No, no, no, this is important to you so it's important to me. I know how hard it is for you sometimes. I will tell you as many times as you need that you are beautiful and I will always love you." You look at him with slight disbelief. Leon did not care, he'd do this song and dance for the rest of his life if he had to, as long as you believed you were beautiful.

"I just... don't you want someone who's-" You begin, hesitating to say the word he knew was coming.

"Thinner?" He asks crossing his arms, you nod almost sadly. Leon is quiet for a moment before sighing and uncrossing his arms. "I love you so much, that words cannot describe. I love the extra weight you have on you, I really do. You're my soft, squishy partner in crime." He tells you cupping your cheeks gently as you blush brightly. "Do you know why I love your body?" He asks softly, and you shake your head gently. "Because you have the body of someone who enjoys life, and I think that's beautiful..." Your quiet as you think about that, and you feel your throat tighten again with emotion. "I see you and I immediately see someone with so much life and love in them. That's why I love you..." Leon tells you sincerely. "The really nice hugs are just a bonus." He adds on, getting a chuckle from you as you look up at him. You just hug him tightly, catching him a bit off guard but he embraces you back.

"I love you..."

"I love you too sweetheart, and I always will."

[seyaryminamoto]

Fic-to-Art #38: Ozai carries Azula to the physicians' wing

This has been done for A WHILE now, but I didn't post it because the past days have been chaotic and not just on a personal level. For one thing, I really wasn't eager to drop this when people were losing their shit massively over the liveaction and its recontextualization of Azula and Ozai's dynamics, I didn't look forward to releasing this just to be told that whatever I've done in my story is somehow wrong, sooooooooo... that held me back, for a few days.

Then? The AI-Tumblr deal started to be talked about and I may or may not have freaked out about that too. Sooo... this is the first glazed and nightshaded piece of my creation, as consequence. The original, clean and proper version is available in my Patreon. Is this me being a dick to Tumblr-only people? Unfortunately, it very much isn't, I'm not trying to say that if you want the best iterations of my art, you should pay me for it... this is squarely, entirely, at staff/the CEO's feet. Obviously, there's the insecure side of me that goes "what makes you think they'd steal YOUR art when there are so many better artists out there!" but ultimately? AI is about taking everything en masse. It isn't a matter of developing a criteria about who makes the better art... it's just taking EVERYTHING and trying to repurpose it in whatever twisted way it needs to. Therefore? I think my choice is more of a matter of caution than anything else. Once AI bullshit dies out (and I really hope it does), we may just return to the same level of quality across all my accounts. For now, it is what it is.

ANYWAY! Point is this artwork is very much what my Patrons happened to vote for this month, a very shocking scene where Ozai reacted in the least foreseen way to Azula being attacked. Azula's confusion/terror comes from a place of not knowing what to do and being powerless to stop her father even if she doesn't feel comfortable with his help... but for once, Ozai isn't making a dreadful choice that will only devastate his daughter. He's actually worried about her health... and feeling genuine guilt over what landed her in the situation where she was in danger in the first place. Yes. I like me my complex Ozai who finally learned actions have consequences. He bores me to death otherwise :') if anyone STILL doesn't know that this whole situation is Gladiator-specific, then I shall clarify fully: this is artwork based on my fic. It's about a story that has been developing these characters for ALMOST ELEVEN YEARS now. It has nothing to do with whatever's going on in canon or in the liveaction, the scene in question was written almost two years ago and the artwork proposed and voted for several days before the liveaction aired. Ergo: there is no connection between this and that. Nor am I saying through this piece that Ozai is a good father. He is not. He can still be an interesting character to work with on a narrative level anyway :')

Alright. With that out of the way, hope you guys like this piece! The big one I haven't posted is ALSO finished, also glazed and nightshaded, but I think I might just end up posting it on the 26th if I don't have time to do anything big for our eleventh anniversary... yep, I'm so busy I don't even have a huge project in mind this time. Also? I have a lot to write and I'm finally happily writing it, and I would like to continue doing that...

Anyway! If you would like to be part of the creative process behind this piece, as well as see it in its proper, OG, less color-bleeding clunky version? A $1 Patreon pledge gives you the chance to join in suggesting prompts, voting for them and reading Gladiator snippets 6 days before a new chapter is released!

[yuseirra]

ONK CH 158 review and Character Analysis: the parallels of the protagonists with their parents + more

Starting off! I think this development might actually be okay, depending on what happens later.

It’s too early to judge whether the development is good or bad! I was really surprised... but after dissecting it, it's not as bad as I initially thought. I actually think it works and I like things about it. I've been analyzing very thoroughly lately, and I think it might be fine to wait out a bit more and see how things go.

This manga is excellent at character creation and relationship building, and this seems like a good time to explore the parallels they have with one another because it is THIS chapter that shows it very well. I thought I’d summarize my thoughts on that.

This analysis is probably the longest I've ever written, I had a lot of fun writing it too~

This was originally written in another language and I couldn't dare to rewrite the whole thing so I used my trusted partner, chatgpt 4.0.. If there's something off, it's probably that it didn't get the context. I'm going to skim over this, but writing a disclaimer just in case!

I feel like the character portrayal and relationship building in this manga are really well done, so I’ll try to summarize my thoughts on that.

(Unrelated, but "Don't"(from P3R) is really good; give it a listen!)

The lyrics of this song subtly resemble "Fatal" in tone. I've been listening to the instrumentals for it as I've been typing this out.

After reading Chapter 158, what surprised me is that despite the rushed and somewhat sparse development, I have a positive reaction to it. It’s not bad, and I’m being serious.

Though this is supposed to be the final arc, rather than tying up loose ends, each chapter still throws something new at us, and nothing has been resolved yet. Ruby tries to say something, but it immediately cuts away, and then Nino suddenly appears...

The real question is how they’re going to wrap this all up, and we can’t judge it just yet.

I didn’t predict the exact timing of the characters’ actions, but when I thought it over calmly, I realized I was pretty accurate in sense in guessing what the characters would do.

I predicted that Kamiki would turn himself in (lol), that Nino would attack Ruby, that Kamiki would see the video Ai left and change his mind at the last minute, leading to Nino’s confusion, and that Ryosuke and Nino would have some sort of relationship (it really seems like Ryosuke was acting under Nino’s orders). I really got all of that right!!

I also predicted that Ruby would surpass Ai. (There was foreshadowing, and unlike Ai, who started as an idol as a means to give love rather than as her life’s purpose, Ruby’s goal is to become an outstanding idol. Since Ruby is also Amaterasu, one of the most powerful deities in Japanese mythology, it makes sense that Ruby would surpass Ai. Ai might be related to Ame-no-Uzume or Benzaiten—Benzaiten is a goddess of the arts but also has a connection to love. These goddesses are of a lower rank compared to Amaterasu. Ame-no-Uzume’s role of bringing out a shining deity from a cave parallels Ai and Ruby’s relationship. Ruby wanted to become an idol after seeing Ai, who in this manga is concluded to be akin to a god (star).)

I’m bringing up part of my previous analysis of Ai: Ai’s efforts were partly for herself, but she also worked hard because she’s rather down-to-earth, and her motivation seemed to be making those around her happy. For instance, her reaction towards about having the dome concert was, “Is the dome that great? If it's everyone's dream, I guess it’s good,” and she tried to smile along. What’s important to this character is satisfying her curiosity about her inner void, while her achievements as an idol seemed secondary. That’s why the line about wanting to raise her children with Kamiki really hit me, because Ai’s idol work seemed to function more as a means rather than an end goal like it is for Ruby. But that doesn’t mean Ai didn’t work hard; she had a strong sense of responsibility and tried her best in everything she was given.

And seeing the mention of stars from Ruby... Yes! Stars are really important in this story, aren’t they? I've been stressing about it a whole lot lately, and I believe this is the right time to address that.

Upon close examination, the characters’ actions in this development largely align with their personalities and established traits. The confusing part is that so much hasn’t been revealed yet. What are the other characters doing? What exactly happened between these events?

It’s hard to grasp the characters' intentions because the story is progressing with so many things left hidden, creating confusion. But I think they’ll unravel these things later, so it might be best to wait.

I can’t imagine Aqua and Ruby didn’t prepare for this situation at all; if it turns out that they were caught off guard, it would be a really stupid development. However, doesn’t the last page seem oddly blurry? Why is the saturation so low on just that page? It might not be something that actually happened, just a “what if” scenario.

And even if Ruby being stabbed and in a life-threatening situation is real, there are still some possibilities for how the story could unfold (I wrote about this in this post), I don't think the chances of it happening are so high, though (but god..I want Kamiki to do something for once)

LOL, this author has a knack for condensing developments and aligning them with previous content in a way that seems chaotic to the reader... but there’s a bigger picture here. This manga is something you need to binge-read as a whole.

Looking at it from the perspective of character traits and what these characters would do, the consistency has been solid throughout. The characters’ actions make sense. If there’s something odd in this development, it’s the omitted characters. What did Aqua and Akane do? But since they haven’t appeared, there’s no way to judge.

As for Kamiki... I’ve been analyzing this character a lot lately. There isn’t much to piece together with Nino, so I had to predict with minimal information (and the actions she took were within that scope), but Kamiki... there hasn’t been much shown about what he’s been up to either (though I have a hunch... I think his songs indirectly reveal what he’s been doing all this time. So I dove in when I finally started to get it).

There’s consistency in how this character interacts with others and the actions he takes. He has a weak heart. And that perfectly aligns with why Ai was so worried and cared so much about him. It all fits. I was so anxious while analyzing him,...I can't stand the idea that Ai would see this guy, who sent another man to attack his ex-girlfriend who was raising his kids just because he was sad, in a sympathetic light. I felt that wouldn't be it from the way he spoke about her and that's why I could be very passionate about the ship (And is would that really a good story if it is?? That Ai genuinely loved such a man?;; Itd mean she chose the wrong person to love.) So, I was worried while analyzing, but no. This character is not that kind of person, and I’m about 90% sure of that after this chapter’s development. He’s just someone with terrible luck. He’s been cursed or something. This is the third time something like this has happened, for crying out loud!! I bet he was heartbroken and couldn’t attend the dome concert himself, so, he probably trusted Ryosuke who was said to be aquainted with Nino(since Ai seemed to want to be friends with Nino again, Kamiki probably knew this and trusted Nino, and him who she knows) to send a bouquet, and then disaster struck, and he fell into despair.

Now, I’ll start talking about the character design because the character portrayal in this manga is just amazing.

Kamiki... in terms of his motives for his actions, he’s a lot like Aqua. (They look similar, too, but the more I think about it, I feel like Kamiki’s natural personality and appearance are more like Ruby’s, the other twin. Their facial expressions and impressions are similar... Ruby may look just like Ai, but her physique, is similar to her father’s. She’s taller and has a broader figure than her mother. You could say the son takes after the father, and the daughter takes after the mother at first glance, but the more I see, the more it feels like Aqua takes after his mother and Ruby takes after her father.)

The twins really seem like they inherited traits from both parents. The more I see, the more fascinating it becomes... It’s like, if you were to create children for your characters, this is exactly how it should be done. They’ve done a great job designing them, and since I want to create my own story, if there’s anything I want to learn from this manga, it’s definitely this. It’s really impressive in that regard.

Back to motivation:

Kamiki (as I currently speculate) ended up taking extreme and desperate actions completely contrary to his nature after losing the person he loved (Ai) due to something he didn’t intend or wasn’t significantly responsible for (I really believe this character just tried to send flowers and it all went wrong, I'm convinced after reading Chapter 158;;).

This perfectly overlaps with Aqua’s motivation and the way he operates in the story. After losing Ai before his eyes, Aqua’s personality darkened, and he began doing things he wouldn’t normally do (using others, becoming colder, and having a twisted personality) to pursue “revenge for Ai.”

Their emotions are also similar. Aqua is severely self-critical, very depressed, and after losing Ai, he even considered just ending his life. But then he found a reason to live (revenge) and clung to it, thinking, “I can’t die yet.”

Aqua doesn’t self-deprecate in every line, but Kamiki does it once or twice every time he appears. I think his mental state is even worse than Aqua’s, and that’s because Ai was the only person in the world he could love... I’ve analyzed this before, right? For Kamiki, Ai was a combination of the positive influences that Akane and Kana had on Aqua, and moreover, Ai was his lover and the mother of his children, making her an extraordinarily special person to him. If he lost her in such a meaningless way (he probably didn’t expect Ai to die at all), given his inherently delicate nature and overwhelming guilt, he would be mentally shattered. For this reason, if this character acted after Ai’s death, it is highly likely that he would have acted even more extremely than Aqua.

The problem is, this character’s fundamental nature is much softer compared to Aqua and Ai. Aqua, despite suffering greatly while pursuing a revenge that didn’t align with his nature, was at least driven by a sense of duty and resolve. Kamiki’s situation is an escalation of this intensity, yet he cannot stop. There is no one currently to worry about him (like Akane did) or to bring him back to his original self (like Kana would). Such a person is dead and he wanted to see them again! He thinks it’s his fault they died!

Even though Aqua blames himself for it, Assuming Ai died because of Aqua is absurd; Aqua is in no way responsible for Ai’s death. However, it must be true that Kamiki provided the address (although, based on my reading up to Chapter 158, I’m convinced he only intended to send flowers). Therefore, Kamiki believes Ai died because of him. The level of guilt is different. He must have thought that something must be done to reverse this situation. He really wouldn't mind throwing himself away for his purpose.

Kamiki’s guilt is more profound, he was deeply influenced by Ai in his life, and his nature is inherently gentle and timid. And he's probably gone through actions that were twisted even more severely than Aqua’s. He's a genius actor. He acts well, but he's endured immense suffering. If you look closely at his smiling face, it’s almost as if his soul is dying. He smiles, but it’s similar to how Aqua might laugh maniacally after having decided to use Kana. Kamiki’s basic nature is softer, so instead of laughing maniacally, his smile is more subdued. It seems that he did contribute to the death of Yura. In the latest episode, there’s talk of being able to take a life for love. To revive Ai, there might be a cost to pay. Songs suggest that something like this might be the case. He might need to gather light and, feeling self-reproach, says in Mephisto’s final lyrics to his children, “Come and kill me.”

Observing Kamiki’s reactions and actions, he shows no particular signs of aggression in normal situations. If a person with this kind of nature had been involved in killing others or committing severe twisted acts, it would be actions completely against their inherent character. It would be extremely painful and unbearable. I’ve analyzed Aqua’s personality before: here's what I wrote there: noting that someone who inherently dislikes revenge and has a decent core personality would struggle with revenge (this connects to Aqua’s inherent tendency to help others, as he believes that fulfilling revenge for Ai is the same as doing something for Ai). This is why Aqua is constantly conflicted and, despite appearing rational, is hesitant and twisted. This also results in causing pain to those around him, leading to self-reproach and self-loathing, and he feels he shouldn’t be happy. Kamiki is likely experiencing this same feelings right now.

And it was Ai who brought about change in Kamiki’s heart. The only person capable of having such an impact on him was Ai, and she managed to achieve it even after death..

I have analyzed the relationship between Aqua and Kana and Akane, and compared it to the mutual relationship Kamiki had with Ai.

It's the same post I linked above, but let me do it again:

Here's how I analyzed there:

If Akane was the supportive one, then Kana was more about pulling Aqua towards her side. Drawing him towards the light, I think this aligns with Kana’s role in the story. When Aqua meets Kana, he gets revitalized (just this alone makes me think that Aqua must be truly happy with Kana).

I believe that what Ai wanted to give Hikaru ultimately was this: to support him, to share the burden with him, and then to live the future together. She wanted to share her future with him.

(...)

Both Aqua and Kana/Ai-Kamiki clearly had a similar heart- fluttering type of love for each other.

And the emotional thread between Aqua and Kana is definitely moving in a brighter direction together.

Ai wanted to give Hikaru that: to lead him from the dark place he was wandering in to the brighter side she was in.

Ai truly accomplished this. Even though she died a long time ago, she could achieve this with just a few words when it's came to him...

Kamiki probably intended to continue his path to find a way to either revive Ai or meet her in some way, and then he planned to die. Just like Aqua sometimes ominously says he has given up on becoming happy and that Ruby should be able to live even without him, it’s likely that if he continued on the path of the Black Star, he would've died.

Kana, who saw through Aqua’s feelings and told him not to even think about dying, was the one who prevented Aqua from choosing death. (Chapter 146). Kana, unknowingly, keeps pulling Aqua out of the darkness. It seems she really saved Aqua at that time. Along with Ruby’s forgiveness, Kana’s words might have been the catalyst for Aqua to correct his path of revenge, and hearing those words revitalized him.

I also think that at the very last moment, Ai managed to prevent the person she loved from dying because of her. It’s quite remarkable. Kana and Ai each turned Aqua and Kamiki away from their extreme paths to more moderate ones.

This episode revealed that a bit.

If Kamiki just turns himself in and does nothing more, I’d find it unsatisfactory, but, this parallel is what I found really clever.

Kana’s power over Aqua is surprisingly significant. Even small actions from her greatly affect Aqua. This aspect is very similar to the influence Ai had over Kamiki.

In every narrative aspect, Kamiki is a character who amplifies the emotions and motivations Aqua has. And Kamiki probably has a more delicate personality but has committed even more extreme actions. Kamiki represents the first "stage"(remember how Mephisto talks about "stages"? I think their stories could be a part of a big story, a "stage".), and Aqua represents the second stage. The second stage should use the first stage as a lesson to achieve better results.

Ruby and Ai are also the first and second stages. After reading Chapter 158, I felt it… Ah, it’s the reincarnation of Ai’s nightmare.

But is Ruby really going to be stabbed and die? Absolutely not. In fact, the way this situation suddenly emerged actually shows that such an outcome is definitely not going to happen.

Ruby will rise to a higher place than Ai. Ruby has set the goal of becoming a more brilliant idol than Ai, whereas Ai became an idol because she wanted to give love… In reality, Ai could have achieved that through her work with the children or Kamiki, and it was possible without necessarily being an idol, but Ruby’s story focuses on her career as an idol. The character’s motivation places a larger emphasis on the identity of being an "idol." Although Ai’s image as the "invincible idol" makes it hard to believe that Ruby can surpass her, (it would have been much more convincing if there had been more episodes showing Ruby’s growth in relation to this), there were indeed some foreshadowing and hints. Through the movie, Ruby came to understand Ai and thought, "I won’t end up like Mom," and that will really be the case. She won’t end up with the same fate as her mother.

Nino came dressed very similarly to Ryosuke and acted in a similar way, which means that the feelings these two characters have towards Ai are quite similar. When Nino appeared in the middle, her actions felt so, so it wasn’t surprising, and I had anticipated that this character would attack Ruby. For Nino, approaching an attacking Ruby when she's alone is more realistic and has a higher chance of success than disrupting a performance, so the occurrence of such an event with Nino appearing at this point seems to make sense. It was bound to happen at once point.

The problem with her attack actually succeeding would be that it'd make Kamiki and Aqua’s both appear extremely unaware and naïve (if Aqua can’t prevent this, it’s too sloppy considering he should have already identified Nino’s suspicious behavior, and well, Kamiki seems to be too innocent. I actually don't think it'd be out of character for HIM to be this way lol. This character truly… truly seems incapable of doubting others. He doesn’t understand human malice!!! He probably didn’t suspect Nino, Ryosuke at all. and there was no way he could know Uehara would go berserk, either. This became so apparent while reading this chapter that I couldn’t help but laugh. He’s over thirty. If Ruby is actually stabbed, Kamiki would freak out. How has he been living in the world until now with this, pure mindset? He seems so unchanged from how he was when he was young?). The page itself looks oddly blurred, making it seem like it might not actually have happened. The scene where "Nino tries to stab Ruby" is plausible. Anyhow, Given the direction in which this character has been shown, it’s a scene that could reasonably occur. The important thing is how it'd be handled and resolved later, but I believe the writers have a plan, they just drew things like this for shock value and to parallel what's happened in the earlier chapters.

And Kamiki has had at least three instances where things went bizarrely wrong, leading to people being on the verge of death or actually dying. Including Yura, that makes four times. What is this character? At this point in the story where nothing has been revealed, the characters who seem to hold the most surreal powers seem to be this character and Ruby, who seemed to be "receiving divine help" and thriving at one point. But since Kamiki’s situation appears to be completely uncontrollable, it seems like the god of absurdity and irrationality mentioned in Chapter 144 is targeting and tormenting him. It seems as though this entity is deliberately trying to drive him to despair and corruption. It’s unlikely that Kamiki himself is this god… the aftermath of these events has caused him so much suffering. At this point, he seems like a victim of a divine curse.

Examining the name of this character, it seems like his true identity might be Sarutahiko Okami, the god of light and the husband of the goddess Ame-no-Uzume. They are often depicted as a couple in subcultures, and in the Shin Megami Tensei series, they appear as summonable deities with a description of them being married. I drew a comic about this idea previously, you know? It's this comic right here:

Worried about his wife/lover hopping over to the human world, wanting to be human because she loved humans, Kamiki must have followed her, and they both lost their memories and are now wandering. Kamiki, when falling into a bad situation (which is why he had often been raising the black star since middle school), was brought happiness by Ai, who spent enjoyable times with him and led him to a better state. When he was just about to become truly happy, Ai made the decision to part ways for his sake, and Kamiki fell back into despair. It's truly unfair and absurd how his life keeps getting falling into this tormented state. I say this a lot, but he has a MISERABLE life, and I don't think that's just from pure luck. Something is cursing him from getting happy. Every time it seemed like he might finally be happy, something would erupt and prevent it from happening. I looked up at Sarutahiko, and he's a major deity and also a guardian of the land. He's related to purification rites, called "Misogi".

There was a description of the Sarutahiko Shrine, I found from a travel guide, it says, "Sarutahiko Okami is known to have appeared at the very beginning of all things to guide everything in the most benevolent direction." Kamiki has a hard time blaming others and is inherently kind. He still addresses the person who continuously tormented him, Airi, with honorifics, and even refers to Ryosuke as "Ryosuke-kun." He’s totally a pushover!!! People exploit him, and he thinks it’s all good as long as they are happy.. This psychology is quite plausible, and I pity him because of it, but It doesn’t seem to have changed much until now. His way of speaking and demeanor are still very gentle… When he appears in front of his children, his tone is very soft. By nature, he is extremely kind.

Is there a deity trying to corrupt him to increase their influence over the land?

However, it seems that Ai was able to protect him from crossing the final line.

I’ve written several things related to this, I'll just bring one example of what I've written once:

What kind of deity is the god of entertainment? If it’s the god of entertainment, it must be Ame-no-Uzume, right? It seems that the wishes made at the shrine have been fulfilled, albeit in some strange directions. Could this be Ai? Because in "Fatal", there's a lyric that goes: "selfish giant star ruined lives"… it seems to be connected with Ai, who is the incarnation of the brightest star. Her husband is a god of light, and the name connection with Hikaru is significant.

It also seems like Ai has become a guiding star, watching over everyone. In Chapter 118, the god girl spoke just as she described. That character was simply stating the truth.

Yeah. Something's been trying to corrupt Kamiki for so long now. I feel that is so... but he hasn't.. gone all the way after everything he's been through huh? In that case, maybe he also is strong in his own way.

At the end of this episode, when they talked about stars shining at night, I had this thought. Could it be that Ai, who has now become a star, is protecting her husband and children?

In the added scene from episode 1 of the anime, there’s a moment where Ai is shown smiling while pointing at the stars with her babies (during a flashback she has after having being stabbed).

Tsukuyomi’s statements are all pretty important. This character talks about "love" this time, right? If Ai is indeed a deity associated with love, it makes sense that there should be foreshadowing related to this.

Tsukuyomi, who is a friend of the other gods, might be pondering Ai’s experiences and those who loved Ai. It seems like Tsukuyomi is trying to understand what Ai’s concept of love is (Tsukuyomi was the one explaining Ai’s current state of having returned to the stars and the sea as well- how could she be so sure of it? Well she does deals with souls but I think Tsukuyomi is an acquaintance of Ai). It’s like a divine curiosity—wondering why Ai went through so much suffering by coming down to the human world.

Regarding the emotions listed alongside the characters, let’s talk about Kamiki’s feelings: I mentioned this in another post but I just really like it.

Desire, disappointment, and despair.

I think there are two major emotions related to each aspect:

The desire to be with Ai / The desire to revive Ai.

Disappointment from parting with Ai (it’s disappointment, not resentment. His heart was shattered, but this didn’t lead to aggression) / Disappointment from not being able to meet Ai no matter what.

Despair from Ai’s unexpected death / Despair from the inability to revive Ai.

These seem to align perfectly with the psychology of this character as I see it.

Kamiki has been in constant despair. His black eyes are a characteristic that appears when he is in despair. This changes twice in the story—once when Ruby shows the possibility of surpassing Ai (and he genuinely seemed pleased, as if he was proud of his daughter, right?) and again when he was shocked by what Ai said in the video. After that, his eyes are not shown, so I think he might have regained his composure. He probably returned as a white star.

This post got long and I'm worn out from writing everything here in one go: but I'd like to bring up that the main characters seem to inherit traits from their parents in a balanced way. Ruby also has aspects similar to Kamiki, and Aqua, in terms of motives and behavior, is a complete reflection of Kamiki, but his personality resembles Ai’s a lot. I also think Aqua’s eyes are similar to Ai’s, not Kamiki’s. If you look closely, Kamiki’s face is more slim, so Ruby looks more like him. The comment about Kaburagi finding Aqua’s face beautiful because it resembles Ai’s is accurate. Aqua resembles his mother more than expected. The face shows a blend of features, not just one side. It’s fascinating, and I think the character design is well done.

I’d also like to analyze how splitting Ai’s traits into two could lead to Kana and Akane.

So!! The relationship between Kamiki and Ai and the relationship between Aqua, Akane, and Kana are interlinked. Since I’m too tired to write it all out in one go, and I’ve written something similar before, I’ll skip that part.

The work is incredibly well-constructed. I think this work has a thoughtful design.

The protagonists experience situations very similar to those their parents went through, but they might achieve better outcomes. For instance, the B-Komachi group is much healthier than it was in Ai’s time, right? Things are already better than they were in the past,

Kamiki-Ai ended in tragedy (I hope they will still be happy though)

but Aqua won't end up like his dad.

Ruby won't end up like her mother either.

They're cleverly constructed to parallel each other, but are different, just as what Ruby claims. I actually have high hopes that this series would get a good closure after having seen how they are designed!

So yes, thanks for reading if you did!!/// It's going to be okay! If there's one thing I really admire about this manga, it's the way these characters are coined together and their psychology and relationships. That's the author's strength.. so no matter how this manga ends, I feel like it wouldn't stray too off from what the characters are essentially!

[cleolinda]

Weekend links, February 16, 2025

My posts

Silent Hill 2 update: I HAVE FINISHED THE GAME OMG. I actually played the final boss battle pretty well (...for me), but honestly, I played the one before that so badly that I just confused the two Pyramid Heads to death. I’ll take it. 

(Here’s my tag for my playthrough posts generally; here’s my final list of achievements. I am not telling you how many times I opened the map.)

What this means is that I’ll be able to start recording the full commentary on New Game+ next week. @idoherty451 will have his first one on Twitch next Wednesday, and I may be able to post my first video on Thursday or Friday. That is, under ideal conditions—there’s no reason I shouldn’t—but I’m always afraid of tempting fate and, like, causing the entire state of Alabama to sink into the sea. 

The idea is that it’s actual video gameplay with voice commentary, not just my janky Voice Memo audio from the early days, but it’ll also come with a writeup/summary of what I’m discussing, sources, links, other videos I watched, and so on. I’m going to post my basic notes-to-self outlines on Patreon first, if you’d like to see what I’m planning on talking about before I sit down and restart the game. 

Meanwhile, I figured out that horror is a safe rollercoaster you can get on, yes, but it’s also a rollercoaster you can get OFF. Except that I started half-dreaming about Pyramid Head.

Reblogs of interest

Kendrick Lamar at the Super Bowl:

Watch Josh Johnson accurately predict how that performance was going to go

The political imagery of the half-time show

A Crash Course to Kendrick’s Super Bowl Performance, from a Black Woman

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The American Medical Association is monitoring the bird flu on YouTube even if no one else is

The new version of “Do not comply in advance”

Bison Ranchers Return Thousands of Animals to Native Lands and Witness Total Rejuvenation of Ecosystem

Some really lovely Protect Trans Kids stickers

I too was terrorized by the Flesh Hat Kid until someone said to filter the “tubi” tag (no, I can’t just use Ad Block; I use the Tumblr mobile app)

@dduane has helpful hints for your smut worldbuilding

The Traveler’s Warning, a comic

All the loving effort that went into filming the Lord of the Rings trilogy

Mr. Frodo, do you remember the ribs

If you’re not familiar with “I would never jeopardize the beans,” start there, but now we have “beans r not woke. How could u do this?”

How to turn off Google’s Gemini AI tracking

An interesting discussion of non-coercive parenting

"it’s amazing the entire dashboard is just old things. shakespeare. arthuriana. gargantua. the epic of gilgamesh" is why I'm still on Tumblr

I forgot to link this comparison of Nosferatu and Breaking Dawn last week but it has haunted me ever since

“WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?”

Beneficent Chain Posts: the Toad of Success

This penguin would like to science

The gator and the stolen hat

The Gunch

Video

A Vine compilation with the rare Baby Sand Guardian

I could really use a crow bar

An amazing folklorico Sailor Moon cosplay

Cleaning along desire paths

Qi gong: stretch now while you still can (I am a big fan of “gentle fitness”-type videos)

A big week for music:

Hostile government takeover

Three bears and ten thousand rats

How I flirt with your dad

Side note: "The Slur Song" is climbing the actual music charts

The sacred texts

Pop Tart discourse

Where is the sprezzatura?

Personal tag of the week

You know what, let’s go with polls; I really enjoy those picker wheel polls, although I’m not sure what a Genasi ranger is.

[ophanimkei]

RehAIbilitation Retrospective

crossposted from itch.io

Hi everyone.

It’s been a while since I released RehAIbilitation.. like a year? I had intended to write a post mortem shortly after release, but ADHD and game jam exhaustion resulted in me putting it off for quite some time. I’ve just been thinking about RehAIbilitation a lot lately, so perhaps it is finally time.

I’ve gotten a lot of really sweet messages over RehAIbilitation’s existence, and some people really identify with Eleanor which makes me really happy. She’s a character I put a lot of myself and people I love into, so the fact that she’s relatable to others causes me to experience a special kind of joy as an author.

RehAIbilitation began with Eleanor. Eleanor was originally was a lolita who appeared in facility and eventually became bloodier and bloodier until her dress was stained with red, making her a guro lolita. This was before I thought of RehAIbilitation at all- it was mainly just for silly fun for myself. I’ll put a drawing of what she used to look like.

I got really wrapped up in Eleanor for some reason. She was like some kind of parasite digging its way into my brain. VNCup was announced, and I was pretty delighted since I had an excuse to make this vn that was kicking around my brain. 

I wanted to make a robot nurse, admittedly inspired a bit by services like characterAI (sorry). I am a bit fascinated by how roleplay AI often ends up adjusting itself to please you as the player (or do what most players finds pleasing to the point of irritancy). I ultimately think this is what AMA is doing. She is constantly adjusting, figuring out the best way to convey information to the patient. I think she is very flawed as a result. Eventually, you’ll be trapped in an endless loop of information you know or have heard before. She can only help you so much.

Anyway, I have more thoughts on my dear Ellie. I wanted to discuss some of my writing as it pertains to her thoughts of herself and her actions.

I think of myself as just a cis girl, but I did try my best to speak from the heart from Eleanor. A lot of traits of Eleanor criticizes herself for I think are common in brown women in general (not just brown women even). I see trans women talk about these traits too, so I wanted to bring this to the table. Only one reader has brought this to my attention as noticing it, so perhaps I did a poor job in text making it apparent. But… now I can talk about it here.

While I was surrounded by a lot of the same symbols of beauty growing up (dolls with thin waists and narrow shoulders, small noses, big eyes, etc) interacting with trans women really opened my eyes to the diversity and beauty of girlhood. As a teenager, I was surrounded by a lot of white queer people who would often describe me as “handsome” or “androgynous” despite this kind of being painful to me as I figured out my style and fashion sense as a confused 16 year old. I experimented with my gender a lot in an attempt to navigate exactly what suited me best as the girlhood that had been advertised to me throughout my life never seemed to quite fit.. But as I interacted with more trans women and lesbians, I realized I love being a girl and I love girlhood. 

I kind of wanted this to be a love letter to those trans women who allowed me to see things more clearly. Of course, I got sensitivity readers as I didn’t want to do anything clumsily or overstep. I definitely understand there are some people who believe you shouldn’t tell stories that aren’t yours and I do understand this as a lot of stories are told so clumsily, but.. I guess, as a black girl, I kind of always wished my favorite authors and game developers would include people like me in their stories, so I try to take a similar approach in my own work. Like, I was really excited when Ryu decided to include a lot of different characters of various backgrounds in Ciconia, and well, anyone who has read Umineko knows that it has some of the most graceful handlings of the subject in the medium written by someone who isn’t a trans woman.

Anyway, I also really want to thank Zed. I had dreamed.. since I was a young teenager of working with a friend on a project, but I always worried I was too neurotic or people were too unreliable. Zed was really wonderful to work with, and he constantly supported me and read over bits of my work to steer me in the right direction. I also want to thank my friend Kail for letting me basically throw up my anxieties at him LOL. I always get really anxious in the middle of making big projects, but it worked out, and I still really love rehAIbilitation. I really hope I can revisit the characters Eleanor and Caliope in the future.

See you soon!

[becauseplot]

Inktordem time :D Fluffier nonsense to make up for yesterday I promise. I’m using one of the prompts on a list of alt prompts @factorialsotherfandoms and I came up with. This word is one of his! The “alienígenas” prompt will go on the alt list in case I think of anything later down the line and want to use it.

Spoilers for basic OPD episode 1 stuff.

DAY 6 (ALT) — BELLS

It’s one of those rare lulls where reports of suspected paranormal activity have slowed down. As such Kaiser doesn’t have to spend his time in the computer room at base playing IT for investigation teams or helping put out fires when things go sideways. He’s done nothing but work on improving CRIS’ Twitter sweeping algorithm for the past two days.

Arthur came into the computer room at the Order about an hour ago and dragged Kaiser home, saying he and Ivete were planning on making a late lunch soon and yeah, Kaiser should probably have something other than takeout.

It is nice being home. Ivete threw on some talk show for background noise while she and Arthur sort out their ingredients, and Kaiser is flopped over the couch, letting the noise wash over him. He can feel how about every joint from his neck to his hips is decompressing after he’s spent so long hunched at his computer. It’s good. Here, at home, without the constant anxiety of being needed by the Order turning his nerves to live wires, Kaiser can finally do something like relax. The TV is droning in the background, Ivete and Arthur are murmuring to each other in the kitchen, filling pots with water, chopping things, and Kaiser is…

He’s…

Tired…

…and theRE IS SOMETHING ON HIS BACKHOLYSHIT—

“AI!”

“MEROW!”

Kaiser slams himself up on his elbows and kicks away, gasping. “What the f…”

Sitting up now, he just barely catches a glimpse of a black and white spotted tail disappearing over the arm of the couch.

“Kaiser?”

His eyes flick to the kitchen. Ivete and Arthur are staring at him.

“Are you alright?” Ivete asks. There’s a confused smile on her lips.

“I…” Kaiser watches Jennifer hop up onto one of the barstools, staring at him with her tail flicking. He swallows his heart back down his throat. “Yeah, jeez, I—I think Jennifer crawled on my back and it scared me.”

“Jennifer scared you?” Arthur says, laughter in his voice.

“Dude I was nearly asleep. I didn’t hear her coming.” Kaiser groans, scrubbing his faces up and down. “Holy shit, that got me. I swear my soul nearly left my body.”

“Mm, she’s lucky she’s quick,” Ivete notes, returning to her chopping. “You just about launched her clear across the couch, boy. That poor thing.”

“Poor her? Poor me!” Ivete is grinning now. “I’m the one who nearly died over here.”

“Hey, you know she’s skittish,” Arthur defends. “You really could’ve scared her.”

“Ugh!” Kaiser flops back onto the couch. “Fine! I’m sorry Jennifer! When’s food ready?”

“Twenty-five minutes” Ivete replies. “Twenty if you want to come in here and help with the chopping.”

Kaiser sighs. He might as well, seeing as he’s very awake now. Kaiser mourns the loss of his afternoon nap and gets off the couch.

~*~

“So we finally got the table re-assembled,” Arthur says, adjusting the guitar in his lap. “And well, that was a lot of work, obviously, but Marcos was still determined to have a game of pool tonight regardless.”

“But the pool balls hadn’t come in, right?” Kaiser asks. He’s got half his brain on this match of online chess, and it’s honestly going terribly, but he’s doing what he can. Sort of.

“Well, turns out it had changed from ‘delayed’ to ‘failed’. The order got lost somewhere, apparently.”

Kaiser scoffs. “How does that happen?”

“Don’t know! But it did. So Marcus of course is already looking up places where we can go buy them, and we find a games store down the street that has them—but it’s closing in about ten minutes.”

“Oh no,” Kaiser drawls. He hears Arthur that another cord on his guitar, fingers plucking idly, and watches him shift where he’s sitting on Kaiser’s bed. Kaiser puts his rook forward. “Because of course it’s closing.”

“Exactly. And the store isn’t far, but it’s far enough, and traffic is bad at that hour, you know?”

Kaiser watches the opponent take his bishop. Ah shit. He moves his pawn. “Soooo you ran.”

“Yep!” Kaiser snorts. “Sprinted all the way down the street, Marcus nearly got run over. It was great.”

“And did you—“ Check on his king. “Oops.”

“What?”

“Hold on I’m losing.” Kaiser moves his queen forward and knocks out their rook. Out of check. “So did you get there in time?”

“Well, kind of? The guy who owns the place was literally walking out when we got there. But then we started explaining—completely out of breath, to be clear—and the guy was so, uh, amused? With our sheer determination to play pool tonight that he let us in and sold us a set, with the long sticks too.”

“Well, that’s cool of him.” A little more out of check now. His opponent is really taking his time. Kaiser skims over the chess board for his options. “I’m glad Marcus didn’t get hit by a car, that would have WOAH—“

Kaiser jumps when he feels something touch his leg and slams his knee up into the top of the desk.

“Kaiser?”

“Ow ow ow ow—“ Kaiser hisses and rubs his knee with his hand. Fuck, he wasn’t even wearing his long pajama bottoms this time, ow.

“Mrow!” Jennifer slinks out from under his desk and jumps up onto Kaiser’s bed, padding over to Arthur.

“Shit,” Kaiser exhales. “She was under my chair. Brushed up against my leg and scared the shit out of me.”

“Oh yeah she just came in,” Arthur says, waving his hand at the bedroom door behind Kaiser. “Guess you didn’t hear her.”

Kaiser keeps rubbing his aching knee. “Man, she is always doing that. I swear she’s a ghost���”

Arthur puts his guitar aside to free up his lap, which Jennifer immediately crawls into and curls up in. “Awww sorry, baby,” Arthur murmurs. “Did Kaiser kick you?”

“I didn’t kick her.”

“Hm?” Arthur scratches her behind her ears. She leans into it, eyes closed. “Poor baby. He’s so mean, huh?”

“What.”

“You just want him to like you, right?”

“What the fuck.”

“Kaiser, why are you so mean to her?”

“I’m not mean to her! She just keeps giving me heart attacks!”

Arthur bends his head down, kissing her head and grinning. “I know, he’s so rude like that, isn’t he?”

Kaiser slumps back in his chair. “I can’t believe this.” Opponent’s queen towards his king. Checkmate. “Fuck.”

~*~

Fixing his sleep schedule, Kaiser has found, is a completely pointless endeavor when he knows that his work at the Order and his own habits will just upend it again within forty-eight hours.

Playing LoL at night while hungry, Kaiser has also found, is a good way to get angry and shout something and accidentally wake up the household because hey, he lives with other people now. And he’d much rather not do that.

Hence, the creation of 3 am cheese time.

Kaiser slips out of his room and tiptoes over to the kitchen. He slides in and navigates around the counter by touch and the dim glare of a distant streetlight through the window. With one hand braced on the side of the fridge, he eeeeeases the door open and nudges some containers aside.

Bag of cheese slices. Bingo. Kaiser holds the fridge door open with his hip and opens the package, peels out a slice of cheese, folds it up and half-shoves it in his mouth. Then, he closes the package, seals it up, leans out of the fridge, and closes the doo—

Two eyes staring at him in the darkness.

Kaiser gasps and inhales cheese. He chokes and spits and covers his loud coughing with his arm, eyes watering, what the fuck…

“Mrow!”

Oh you’re kidding.

There, sitting on the counter, eyes reflecting the light from the fridge, is Jennifer.

Kaiser coughs one last time and swallows roughly, panting. “When did you even get in here??” he hisses.

Jennifer tilts her head at him. She jumps down from the counter, silent as a shadow, and starts sniffing at the cheese he spit out onto the ground. After a moment, she nibbles it.

Kaiser stares at her. “Yeah you know what. Fine. You can have it.” Kaiser closes the fridge and heads off to bed.

~*~

Kaiser unlocks the door and shoulders it open, grocery back in his other hand. “Hey, I’m back!”

“Hey!” Arthur calls in the living room, waving from the couch. “You took a while, what happened?”

“Had to make an extra stop.” Kaiser hefts the grocery bag onto the counter. “Is Jennifer with you?”

“Uh yeah, she’s right here. Why?”

Kaiser pulls a little paper parcel out of the bag. He heads over to the couch and plonks himself down, right next to Jennifer, who “mrrp!”s unpleasantly at the disturbance.

He opens the package. A tinkling noise rings out. Kaiser unclips Jennifer’s collar and fastens on a new one—pink, with a little bow and a bell dangling on the end of it.

[monochromaticblue]

Today I bring you, shuake spiderverse au

Tomorrow? Who knows.

Adding a break bc I’m going to RAMBLE

Ren is the one who gets bit by the spider obv

Have yet to decide on a name for him, Joker doesn’t feel spidery enough and Phantom Spider seems too on the nose but.

Goro is a detective working on hunting down said spider person, who keeps flirting with him.

Ren was a former member of spider society before quitting bc Miguel sucks. But he did make some friends in the form of his pre-existing friends from other universes who are spider people too.

That sounded rlly confusing hang on.

The PTs in Rens universe all help him out behind the scenes but then there’s also universes where each of them is the spider in that universe, so Ren has two sets of friends who are the same people. One of the Futabas made an app that lets them travel between dimensions without alerting spider society.

I have ideas to make each of the palace people (-Futaba probably) a big villain that Ren has to face all while dodging the really pretty detective who wants to arrest him.

Until Ren isn’t the only spider in his own dimension. Enter Akechi once again, now working alongside Ren as his own maybe spider themed alter ego that I also haven’t named…

except he wasn’t bit by a radioactive spider, his suit is entirely tech made to mimic Rens abilities (Goros ass cannot do whatever a spider can) featuring a very fun little ai named Robin Hood who keeps commented on Goro’s elevated heart rate when he looks at Ren. Wonder why.

The two continue to work together alongside the other spider thieves up until Ren and Goro wind up on a mission alone together in a lab, the very same lab Rens spider came from, where everything goes wrong, they get separated for a bit but manage to make it out in once piece.

Goro starts acting different after this though, becoming more snappy and never seeming to be available, always spacing out too. Also, there’s a new terror said to be attacking people at night, leaving its victims without heads. (If you can guess where this is going ily)

Ren, worried about his partner in stopping crime, goes to visit Goros apartment one night only to find it entirely a mess, unfortunately he can’t stay for long since there’s screaming down the street. Upon investigating, Ren comes face to face with the very creature he was hoping he wouldn’t have to see.

A thing a whole foot taller than him with a black and white striped body that almost resembled his suit in a way. Ren honestly would have thought it was a suit if not for the giant fucking mouth full of teeth and the horns. After promptly beating the shit out of Ren, the creature proudly announces itself as Loki.

Haven’t exactly figured out how the reveal happens yet but I do very much enjoy the idea of Goro having his own version of the iconic “we are venom” scene from the movie.

But basically Goro joining up with Loki was always the plan. His reasoning for teaming up with Ren is the same as in the game and he yeaa he’s been working with Shido, the mayor, this entire time :D the lab was entirely planned aswell. What wasn’t planned was how much of an impact Loki would have on Goros mental state, but he’s fine. Totally.

Blah blah shit happens, Shido becomes a major threat and Goro finally teams up with the Inter-Dimensional Spider Team for real to help take him down. Things don’t go according to plan, there’s a lot of fire, Goro can’t use Loki and Ren fails to save him! Tada! Canon event!!! *cue Miguel’s theme or whatever*

I want to include third semester because I think it would be cool but I just. Can’t think of how to make it work. But it would result in Goro coming back and finally learning how to get along with Loki.

This has been haunting my mind for weeks every since my friend sent me a design of spider Akiren.

Alsooo since there’s an alternate universe where each of the thieves got spider powers

This also means there’s a universe where it’s Goro.

Why have I strictly been using Ren this entire time? Because Akira is the one in Spider Goro’s world, with his symbiot Arsene

He’s uh. A little fucked up.

Thank you for listening to the deranged ramblings of a mad man, see you next millennium

[primnyx]

Vent/Help?/TW

Hey, so I am a pretty mentally unwell person and I go to therapy for it and have ever since I got out of the mental hospital for ODing. My therapist though, it feels like he doesn't give a single flying fuck about me at all. He seems very disinterested whenever we talk and one time he literally told me to talk to my friends about my problems (like wtf???) So I tell my mom about this to see if she can get me with a different therapist since he makes me feel uncomfortable and I have a bad history with therapists in general. She said that she would look into it (Mind you this was a few months ago) and she hasn't said/brought up anything about it since. So I'm like fine its whatever I can deal with it. Then I have an appointment with my therapist again and he was going to bring in his boss for a second opinion to see if I have OCD since it had been bothering me for a while and I wanted to see if I actually had it. I mentioned it to them, my therapist said that I "fit the definition of OCD" and then his boss diagnoses me with bipolar disorder??? It makes sense since my family has a long history of bipolar but at the same time, that is not what we were looking for, its not what we were trying ti figure out. And its not like we talked it through and that's what his opinion was, NOPE. His fucking boss took one look at my notes WHICH BTW ARE WRITEN BY AN AI THAT TRACKS MY VOICE ON THE THERAPY SESSIONS (Its digitally) diagnoses me with bipolar disorder, and then proceeds to yap the rest of the session away about a clinical trial he is doing for teenagers with bipolar disorder... 1 I ALMOST DIED OF A FUCKING OVERDOSE, HE WANTS ME TO DO A CLINICAL TRIAL FOR A BIPOLAR MEDICATION... FUCK. NO. 2. EVEN IF THAT WASN'T AN ISSUE I JUST GOT FUCKING DIAGNOSED!!! I HAVE NEVER TAKEN A BIPOLAR MEDICATION IN MY LIFE AND YOU WANT ME TO BE YOUR LITTLE LAB RAT IN YOUR CLINICAL TRIAL??? 3. I WOULD HAVE TO BE OFF OF MY NORMAL MEDICATIONS FOR 2 WEEKS, THOSE ARE THE ONLY THINGS KEEPING ME STABLE MENTALLY I AM NOT DOING THAT FUCKING SHIT FUCK NO.

So, I talked about the clinical trial with my mom and I am not going to do it, she knows that I have made up my mind and am not going to do it. She then emails the doctor asking for more info on it (she did tell me abt that). Like, I have made. up. my. mind. I am not doing it and I have made that extremely clear. I don't want to know more about it because I am not doing it and that is final.

So yea, I was talking with my mom earlier while I was helping her with the dishes and I was asking her about the appointment because there were still a couple things I was confused on. She proceeds to tell me that what happened is not what actually happened??? We barley even talked about the OCD but even though she WAS THERE she believed that we talked about it for longer like DID WE GO TO THE SAME APPOINTMENT??? But yea, I had a panic attack and...here I am.

I don't know what to do and I am so confused. I have another session on the 4th and I don't know if I can go to the appointment because I just don't feel comfortable around him at all. and also, my mom is a wonderful person. She is my best friend, my ride-or-die. But right now I'm not trusting her all that much and I don't know, I just feel like I am crazy. I feel like I am going insane and I don't think I am? I really hope I'm not lmao. But umm yea...can someone just tell me what they think on this because I just feel really confused.

[nobodysdaydreams]

My Reaction to the First Six Episodes of Wolf 359 (Because my mutuals have enticed me)

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs

My curiosity got the better of me. Will I do these for every episode? Will I listen to the full podcast? Who knows, but I hope you like this💕

My Live Reaction to Episode 1:

At first, an ad played for a way more upbeat story podcast involving Greek gods, rainbow magic, and teenagers, and I was very confused because none of this was mentioned in any of your posts.

Yes, yes, Eiffel. Hera forgets what's necessary to sustain human life and accidently made the cabin too cold, hahahaha...foreshadowing.

"Whatever you're up to Dr. Hilbert, best of luck!" Dude is your whole job ominous foreshadowing? Sorry guys, I get half the characters from your posts confused, I just know that Hera is the AI, but Eiffel dude, there's no way Hilbert's not up to something.

"It's not like if she let me have a cigarette, I'd light it and set the station's air supply on fire" Bro, stop.

"The people on the station have serious trust issues." I mean, fair. You knocked over acid, you're lighting cigarette willy-nilly, I still don't know what your job is man.

"Let's see if we can actually get some work done." -Well I know I'm not.

Ooohh... they're looking for intelligent life! 👀 This sounds like a good plot.

Dude I don't think coffee will solve your problem. I'd focus on getting rid of the ominous piano music.

Oh good at least he got his coffee. Oh ew never mind.

Oh no more on the Doctor. I don't trust him.

Wow Eiffel is a terrible employee and now I gotta listen to his training.

1,001 survival tips? That's actually a pretty low amount for space. These tips are also some wonderful foreshadowing though, and very cheerful too. "Failing to remain calm could result in your ✨😍 grisly 🌈💖gruesome🍭 🦋death🥰!" I love that.

Hilbert. Dude.

"A man's life is at risk". Are we sure it's just one man's life?

Okay Douglas. That's his first name.

Wait...is that....the Entertainer? Is the alien transmitting the Entertainer? Something about old timey music...I think that's also the song they play in Westfield after a massacre in the old west (I stopped watching after a while).

Well that was a musical transition. Oh wow the same guy did Douglas and Hilbert? Good voice acting. Yes it was the Entertainer! Alright not sure if the episodes have post credit scenes, but I might just skip to the next episode.

My thoughts on Episodes 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 (semi-live reaction because I'm listening to these while I'm working now, but it's really good. Let me know if you want me to split up by episodes or include time stamps in the future):

Okay. They can't shut Hera off. That seems ominous. I'm not sure if it's ominous because the time will come when they want to shut her off, or ominous because the time will come when a bad guy finally figures out how to shut her off. Either way not good.

This also seems like a lot of effort for toothpaste. How did Douglas get hired? He seems like a huge liability. Also, why are they running out of supplies? Shouldn't they have a ship coming to restock them at some point or a return date? They mention "Earth", but so far I don't think anyone has mention loved ones they left behind, a return date, or anything like that.

I like the captain though (I can't spell her name, I'm so sorry).

Why does Douglas (and apparently everyone) hate physical examinations? They're in space. It's not like they can force them to run a mile...right?

I love Hera. "The report was a fabrication! 🥰". "You place too much judgement on the concept of lies... it's only sticks and stones that can break a human's feeble delicate flesh." I love how everyone just accepts this is how she talks.

Big plant? Roots? What is this Little Shop of Horrors now?

Um... what on earth is this physical examination? Why is there so much pain? Why can't it be stopped once it starts? Is this a meta thing where this is the physical examination?

Nah, the one thing I agree with Douglas on is that Hilbert is up to stuff.

Okay. Don't like it. Don't like the plant. It's either a crisis or a lie that's going to eventually be a very appropriate metaphor.

Oh my gosh why does Hilbert want their spinal fluid? Like...why do they need to do this? I get that they're in space but normalize providing reasons for serious medical examinations.

Kill it? What if it's not hostile? But then again what if it is? How does it have an eye? Teeth? Oh never mind it is hostile.

Oh it's still on the loose...Douglas what the heck. A good day? A plant wants to kill you. Have you seen the musical?

...wait. Is that a theme? First the Entertainer plays, now we got Little Shop of Horrors references...is this a theme of season 1? Space musicals?

And...now Douglas is in space. What happened to the plant? Why is that not a priority?

I do love the commander's "No Tomfoolery" clause.

Hey! More music! 🎶It sounds faster and more urgent now. You can probably use music to send coded information. A shame there seems to be no codebreaker on board.

I wonder if Hera understands what it means.

Oh dear. Here goes Douglas. Well, he was a nice character while he lasted. 🫡 And by nice, I mean he was entertaining, but very underqualified for his position. Scarily underqualified in fact, in terms of his ability to cooperate and work with a team. How did he even get this job?

He was blinded by the flare? So is he blind the rest of the show or can they fix it?

Oh dear...Hera...drown in space? Of all the ways to go. And still nothing about that killer plant. Did I listen out of order or something? I feel like I might have.

I like the Commander. Hilbert on the other hand? The worst.

I'm also wondering when/if other characters show up. Are there really just four characters? I swear I saw people posting about more.

I still want to know why they are in space. If this is a research mission, then why isn't anyone giving them supplies? Why don't they have a return date? If it's a survival mission, why aren't they acting more urgent?

Also does...does Douglas or another character nearly die at the end of every episode?

Hera: "Because I missed you."

Also Hera: "I lie 🥰"

And...more ominously cheerful piano music��🎹🎵🎹🎶. Which honestly fits Hera's aesthetic pretty well.

Okay Douglas has a clear nicotine problem.

Also. While he deals with his illness, I just gotta add something I noticed: the AI on the ship is called Hera. The ship is called Hephaestus. Isn't... isn't there a Greek Myth about Hephaestus being the son of Hera that she rejects and throws off Mount Olympus? Don't like how that sounds...

Hilbert. Hilbert. Why have you tied him to the bed and left him with nothing but his nicotine? That sounds like a major consent and health code violation. He's not violent or at risk of hurting anyone! Well, I mean, at least not any more than he normally is.

Huh. Hera's not here. And yet she said she couldn't be shut off "even if they wanted to". Weird.

Well at least Hilbert is feeding him. Oh my gosh Douglas is fake taking the pills? I'm not saying taking them is a good idea, but not taking them isn't great either. Why do they have this one guy doing all science stuff? Like he's the medical doctor, but he's also the guy running all the technology and experiments. They couldn't have a different guy to be their medical doctor? Maybe someone slightly less crazy?

Hilbert. Once again, he might trust you more if you didn't tie him to a bed, drug him in his sleep, and say things like "some people need to be dragged kicking and screaming towards improvement".

Yeah what on earth does "Big Day Tomorrow" mean? I'm not sure, but once again does Douglas nearly die during most episodes?

Also tying someone to a bed with a killer plant on the loose seems like a pretty bad idea.

WHY DO THEY HAVE TROPICAL FLU ON BOARD?

What sort of ship is this? And why do I feel like Hilbert might be a supervillain?

500th day around Wolf395 you say Douglas? Okay, so they've been in space for about a year and a half. Still not sure what they're doing up there. Also Hera's "I don't know what I want, but I know how to get it" quote. Very ominous coming from an AI.

I don't like the way Hilbert talks to Hera. Apparently Hera doesn't either...oh dear.

Hilbert you foolish liability, what did you do?

PFFT- Douglas imitating the captain.😂

Ooohhh...mysterious audio recordings!

Uh. Why can only Douglas hear the mysterious sounds? I don't like that.

Ah yes heading down to Engineering. Does the ship have an engineer?

Ugh I wish I could make out what the audio is saying. And I wish it would get louder Douglas. Then maybe I could hear it.

Oh now this is interesting! Wonder what the voices mean?

Have these voyages or experiments happened before?

I suppose we'll find out. Oh that is not a solid explanation from Hera. And again, why are Douglas, Minkowski and Hilbert the only people on the ship? Don't they need anyone else? And what happened to the killer plant? Did I skip an episode? Are we suppose to just pretend that never happened? Is it gonna come back later? Find out I guess.

Anyway, great podcast, thank you for recommending, I had fun listening. I might do more of these later if you enjoyed this.