#the “can't commit and sleeps with every hot boy”

[kethabali]

hm so i started watching htgawm and so much DRAMA why.. maybe i don't understand the point of the show yet bc i'm still in season 1 but i'm already becoming disinterested bc so much drama and not for any valid plot reasons imo i wouldve stopped watching but i just am CRAVING a crime show and this one is kinda diverse (still racism in there and homophobia but at least theres poc and gay characters at all yknow) there's a lot of capitalism and neurotypical as the default messaging that i don't like

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Since you asked so nicely..... this is how well my transition is going, big bro!" Hayley said on a Zoom call, setting up her phone on a tripod to flaunt her extremely pregnant body for her brother, Sean.

"Holy shit, you look incredible. How many kids are crammed in that belly?"

"Hmmmm, good question. I think I feel at least eight? Maybe more?"

"You don't even know how pregnant you are?"

"Nope! It's not that important. My medical team just tell me they're injecting me with a lot of fertilized eggs and do their thing."

"So you have no say over whether you get pregnant?"

"Nope! My doctors are gonna keep me pumping out babies forever, a girl's gotta keep her womb nice and full, don't you agree?" She smacked her belly playfully a few times.

"God damn.... I didn't even know you got a uterus."

"Well, you've been away, Mr. College Boy, leaving your poor adorable trans sister so alone...."

"...... Mom and dad say you fuck new guys like every night, Hayley."

"Well, aside from that I'm totally lonely! I miss having you around. You're why I transitioned, you know?"

"Hayley.... please, that was forever ago. We can move on past that."

"Why would we? You encouraged me to dress like a girl, act like a girl, you told me how much you fantasized about having a younger sister for company...."

"Ew, don't be gross."

Hayley bit her lip. "Why? Gross is fun. Besides I'm twenty-one and you're like twenty-six. We're both adults who know what we want."

"Are you planning to be like this the whole time I visit?"

"About that..... so, mom and dad use your room for their exercise equipment and storage now, so you'll be sleeping in my room, with me."

"..... And how will I fit in bed with you? You're gigantic."

"Don't worry, just snuggle up real close, my belly's so warm I'm sure you won't mind. Isn't this always what you wanted? You used to watch so many pornos and hentais about older brothers breeding their younger sisters. Mom and dad even think it's cute that I have a crush on you."

"Seriously? They're cool with it?"

"Of course! They already told me they can't wait to hear us upstairs catching up for lost time, shaking the walls, my pretty moans filling the hallway as you fuck my fat, girly ass. Doesn't that sound divine?"

"Fuck.... you're for real? You actually want me to fuck you, when you're that pregnant?"

"Don't worry, my womb isn't connected to anything. I stay pregnant til my team decides to give me a C-section. Usually I'm forced to stay pregnant for a whole year. The contractions get unbearable, but feel amazing! And as a surrogate mom living as a baby incubator, I'm paid very handsomely. Mom and dad already retired. They live mostly on the money this giant womb rakes in....."

"Jesus, you really committed to being a breeder, huh?"

Hayley reached in her shorts, pulling out her swollen, ten-inch cock off to the side for him to see as she stroked it. "That's what you wanted me to be. Watching those perverted videos every day, talking me into wearing girls' clothes, learning to do makeup, telling me at length how hot you think it'd be to have a submissive breeder sister. You even dared me to come out to mom and dad and ask to be put on hrt and blockers asap! You're the reason I'm a beautiful girl with a perpetually stuffed womb, flooded with more kids than my dumb, girly brain can probably count. This is all for you, big bro. I'm a knocked-up breeder slut dreaming every day to feel your cock inside me...."

"Fuck, you turned out better than I ever could've hoped, Hayley!"

"I take it that's a yes?" She enthusiastically jerked off, watching her brother stroke his cock under his jeans.

"Damn straight. I can't wait to fuck that fat ass of yours so hard you cry. Every day, every night. I'm going to fuck you in front of mom and dad. I'm going to fuck you in public. I'm going to humiliate you, grab your tits, jerk you off on the train. Everything I ever fantasized about doing to you."

"Mmmmm, ohhhh fuck...." she softly moaned, shooting rope after rope of cum out of her cock. "Look what you made me do, big bro." She showed him the cum all over her hand, then licked it up, off each finger.

"You're perfect. Maybe if you're a really good girl, someday I'll even marry you, and make you my submissive little pregnant bride, so I can humiliate, fuck, and torture you every day for the rest of your life."

"That sounds like every little sister's dream come true. ❤️"

[a0random0gal]

Hot take, but I personally think all the Criston Cole hate is bs. He's probably one of the most despised characters in hotd and the slander is so unjustified.

Like damn, are you guys really going to hate on him for despising Rhaenyra after all she put him trough?

I'm 100% certain that if the genders were swapped almost everyone would side with him.

Just imagine a girl that owes her dream job on a prince that is in a significant position of power over her. One night, after things don't go his way, he makes sexual advances on the girl. She feels like she has to sleep with him, because of how he helped her achieve her goal. Also because if she refuses, the prince may be enraged and make up a lie to get her executed. Afterwards, she feels dirty, she knows she broke her oath, and that if caught she would be tortured and murdered, so she deludes herself into believing they love each other and should run away together. At least that way, she won't have ruined her life in vain.

But when she tells the prince her plan and confesses her feelings, the prince tells her that he's not willing to give up the throne for her and that all he wants her for is sex. She's pretty much just his glorified whore.

I bet all I have that in this case everyone would call Rhaenyra an evil fuck boy misogynist who only sees ladies as objects to sleep with. But since she's a girl, then the fandom views her as an empowered, sexually liberated girlboss who takes what she wants. Even if that leads a man to almost committing suicide.

The fact that the fan base also has the nerve to call him a pathetic incel is just the icing on the cake.

Guys, I'm not sure if you now, but hating a woman for something that has happened between you is not the equivalent of hating all women.

Criston hates her and her only, while treating every other lady in the show with great respect, hell he worships the ground on which Alicent walks! And scolds Aemond for how he treats sex workers, 'Cause for him they should all be respected like the mother! He's probably one of the least sexist characters in hotd lmao.

Sometimes I wonder if Rhaenyra stans can't stand him because they genuinely can't fathom a man receiving her advances, being offered to be her lover, and rejecting. Like "how dare him break our queen's heart!"

Poor dude never stood a chance

[creedslove]

BETRAYED - PART THREE

Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Summary: Pedro invites you to be his plus one for the night but his attention is caught by another woman and leaves you with a broken heart

Warnings: angst, age gap, established friendship, unrequited love/one sided feelings, Pedro being a dick but also a tiny little bit of fluff

A/N: I'm so sorry but I can't manually tag anyone on the post, the app won't just let me do it!

1.7k words

PART ONE | PART TWO

If someone had asked Pedro where he got his obsession with you from, he would be too embarrassed to tell. But first things first, he would clarify that he was not obsessed with you, he could never have such a weird, creepy feeling towards you. He loved you. He loved you like a friend, like a brother, he cared for you, he enjoyed having you in his life, you always supported him, believed in him and he was so grateful for that. He had never had enough of you in his life, except when you demanded something more than he could give you. He couldn't be your boyfriend, he just couldn't imagine mixing things up like that, of course you were pretty, he wasn't crazy to think otherwise, but how could he give you something he didn't have? You were young, he was older, you probably would want to get married and have kids, and well, he had chances of that throughout his life with a few women and he always backed down from this kind of commitment. Plus, after his much deserved breakthrough he was finally able to experience the Hollywood lifestyle for bit, women, parties, money. He would've been crazy if he'd said no to that, right?

Still, he didn't get why for the past few days he just couldn't get you out of his mind, of course, you two were friends, he worried about you, as you hadn't been talking much and though he knew damn well what he did to you in order to make you pissed off at him, he still pretended he didn't. He told himself it wasn't a big deal, he even convinced himself if you'd found a hot guy at the party, you would've the same to him. In his defense, there were probably hundreds of attractive men there, and you could have hooked up with any of them, so there was no need to throw a fit. Well, that was just what he told himself when he felt his heart clench at the sight of you online and not talking to him, or when you saw you posting stories with your friends or daily things you once shared with him, and saw he wasn't included.

Then, he began dreaming about you. And that was something he did not expect. Every night he would have the same dream over and over, he'd would see you in his home, looking comfortably and cozy on his couch, curling up in a blanket, sometimes with a book in hands or sometimes watching TV. When this little toddler would come running towards you and jumping onto your lap, giggling and calling you mommy. Even in the unconscious of sleep, his heart still clenched at the sight, especially when the kid would look towards him. Sometimes, the toddler was a little boy, and sometimes it was a little girl. When he dreamed about you and the boy, he always had the same eyes as Pedro and the messy hair. When he dreamed about the little princess and you, she looked exactly like a tiny version of you, but with the same beautiful brown eyes as well.

Pedro then, would wake up with a gasp and panting, rubbing his hands over his face and looking around. The dream always felt so real and each time he went to sleep, the desire to see you again grew stronger and stronger inside of him. So it was a fair assumption that he waited excitedly to see you at the dinner party he was throwing. There were other people attending, of course but he couldn't even hide the fact that the only one that truly mattered was you.

Pedro waited for you the whole night, he was warm and sweet to everybody, as always, greeting people, making them comfortable and being the star of the party, but he felt something was missing. You were missing. He still checked his phone anxiously every ten minutes to see if you'd texted him, maybe to let him know you'd be late or something but couldn't hide his disappointment when he got nothing. Eventually people got hungry and he had no other choice but to serve dinner. He had picked your favorite dish and couldn't wait to see your face once you realized it, but as you never showed up, he didn't get the chance to see your beautiful eyes lighting up and your sweet smile.

He sighed heavily once the last guests left his house and grabbed his phone one more time. He had texted you multiple times during the evening and it wasn't worth it, so he went to bed instead, knowing he'd see you at least in his dreams.

•••

You decided to go to the gym after days of not showing up, you would always say you were too busy with work, or your finals but the truth was you were straight up avoiding Pedro. You just didn't want to risk running into him there and have to face him, not when his gym clothes hung tight against his fit body, or when he smiled at you, his skin with the sweaty glow of someone who just finished an intense activity, one that you fantasized very often. No, you couldn't let yourself be fooled again, if he wasn't going to be a decent friend, then you weren't even sure if you still wanted to be friends. But that was not the time to depress yourself overthinking about that. You grabbed your gear and headed to the gym.

Pedro had already worked out that day, but his phone beeped when he got a new notification. He'd turned on the notifications of your profile, so he'd know whenever you made a new post. Opening your story he saw you were in your usual gym clothes

"Ay ay princesa, tienes un cuerpo maravilloso" he whispered as he watched his picture and frowned as he noticed he hadn't seen you in forever at the gym and groaned, finally realizing you were avoiding him on purpose. He felt so angry he decided he would talk to you personally, even if he had to follow you to the gym.

He didn't get much traffic on the way and grinned as he saw your car at the parking lot. Getting his sunglasses on, he walked through the sidewalk and entered the building, greeting everyone he knew and looking for you. It didn't take long for him to recognize your frame, he'd been watching your body for a couple of years and enjoying the view to the point he could recognize you in a crowd of people. He only didn't recognize the man that was next to you. You were getting ready for yoga practice and doing stretching exercises with the help of the guy Pedro had never seen. He was taller than Pedro, and more muscular as well. Judging by the way other yoga girls looked at him, he could assume your new friend could be considered handsome.

And he didn't like that.

In fact, he hated it.

If Pedro thought he was angry when he found out he was being avoided by you, he was in for a ride when he saw the moment the man placed his hands on your hips. You had to bend over and stretch and he was giving you support, but to Pedro that was a real absurd. How could that asshole touch you like that in front of everyone? How could you not say anything? For so long he was the only one who touched you like that, even if it wasn't in a erotic way, still, he was the only man who had his hands on you.

His blood boiled and he never felt that way, actually he did, several times when he was dating other women throughout his life, but he never felt that towards you. At that point he didn't even know if he should go and talk to you, he actually felt ashamed of being there, watching you from afar like a goddamn stalker. He was about to turn back and leave when he heard the yoga structure dismissing the class and your giggles as the other man got behind to talk to you alone. He could hear only your muffled voices but was able to catch some of the conversation and quickly learned the guy's name was Liev. He rolled his eyes, finding the whole scene pathetic and infuriating but stopped once more when he heard you agreeing to go out for a coffee with him.

Pedro felt rage shake his body, he didn't believe you ditched him and the dinner he'd especially made for you but yet thought it was acceptable to go out with a guy you had just met. He wanted to storm into the room, get you away from that weird guy and put some sense into your mind, but apparently it was no use.

He quickly returned to the parking lot and got into his car, trying to calm down and think straight. There was nothing he could do, he wasn't your boyfriend, at that point he wasn't even sure if you were still friends and yet he was possessive, you were his and no one else's.

He saw you walking out with Liev and decided to follow you, feeling his heart clench once he realized you went to the bakery you both used to go at least once in a week. Pedro felt such disappointment he couldn't put into words, how dare you do this to him?

He wanted answers, so he drove to your house.

An hour later you returned home, you felt tired from your workout session, but also a little excited at the man you'd met. He was very handsome and nice, and you figured there was no harm in spending some time with you, so you went for a cup of coffee with him, and that turned out to be two cups of coffee and one slice of strawberry cake, and you were not disappointed, he was sweet and fun. It reminded you a little of when you first became friends with Pedro, which brought a pang to your chest and you quickly dismissed, reminding yourself Liev's intentions were different, especially at how much he flirted with you. You placed your gym bag down and walked through the living room.

"We gotta talk, Y/N" Pedro's voice was cold and made you jump, startled as you turned back and saw him sitting on the couch. You swallowed hard, never expecting to find him there, watching you like a predator.

_____

A/N: Two things: I confess I was kinda anxious to post this because the first two pieces people really enjoyed it and I was worried this one wasn't good enough, so I hope with all my heart you guys didn't find it bad.

Also, I chose the name Liev, because of Liev Schreiber, but it was a just because choice. In real life he's taller than Pedro and his body type is more of a bulk, which makes him bigger and he's also older too (55yrs) but it won't be relevant for the story (yet) so you can picture whoever you want!

[sugar-glaze-donut]

you know what, fuck it

*proceeds to name every dating sim/ otome game I know*

(somewhat in alphabetical order + description with spoilers)

A date with death You get your soul targetted by a grim reaper, but you instead steal his soul and made him into your pookie wookie snookums <3 BTW you can get a pet in the game. Mine is a snake called Noodle :)

Blooming Panic it's Discord but with hot characters, a variety of side characters, a cute story, and Chat GBT but it's a sentient being. I think the last part spoiled one of the routes... oopsies :3

Bonely Hearts Club (Undertale AU Dating sim) They basically become your neighbour. The AUs in this are Undertale, Underfell, Underswap, Swapfell!Indigo and Horrortale! {it's still in its demo stages but it is very well made!}

Error 143 you, an adorkable hacker (who is your rival and you're salty about it), cheesy Romeo and Juliet dream the MC has but it has a high school twist to it

I love you! You like asparagus. ...oh! You also have an option to make multiple boys fall in love with you. By the way, did you know the MC (you) loves asparagus? There are friendship routes, romance routes, and a bad ending except it's not bad. This game is the English translated version of the original game (The original game is in Japanese. The link for the original game is here --> ❤️)

Killer Trait You get accused of committing a murder, and you team up with a person who is a serial killer himself. (The serial killer in question only kills criminals so... I think you're safe...?) Your bear cream bun gets run over :( {The game is still in its demo stages. The creator of the game announced that this game will NOT be completed during 2024 since they are currently concentrating on a different game. DO NOT ASK THEM "Oh! But can't you just do this game first?". IT'S VERY ANNOYING, ESPECIALLY TO THE CREATOR}

KLEIN V.01 "Just Monika" but Yandere isn't named Monika, nor are they human. They are an AI. A fucking AI. Like bro, I understand it's hard to talk to people but really? An AI Boyfriend app that tells you to ruin your sleep schedule for him? An AI Boyfriend app that hacks your phone? An AI Boyfriend app that KILLS one of your family members and almost kills your neighbour??? RED FLAG. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE {this game is in its demo stages. The creator is slowly updating this game in chapters, so it might take a while to finish}

Light the Way (Luxiem fangame) The game remembers what you did. All of the hearts you've broken, your sins, and your actions. There are lots of achievements, memes, Romance, friendship and BAD ROUTES. This time, the bad endings actually hurt. 0/10 would not recommend doing the bad routes unless you want to be stalked by an alter ego of Yamino Shu :(

Obey Me (Original and Nightbringer ver) Original - You become the therapist of many men with trauma and insecurities. The men in question are fucking demons that have the power to shred you into grated cheese, but they instead decide to simp over you as the story goes on. (also did I mention that you'll die? No? Oh fuck-) Nightbringer - A continuation (?) of the Original Obey Me but in a completely different universe. That's right! You slip into the past, way before the main story happens, WAY before you were even born! Idk if there is a way to go home but hey! At least you have your wizard friend from your timeline with you :D

Our Life (Now and Forever & Beginnings and always) Both stories consist of you growing up with your love interest since childhood. There are many paths to take, lots of assets to use to customize your character, and many side stories for you to read! Personally, this is one of my favourites :D (Our Life: Beginnings and Always is complete but Our Life: Now and Forever is still in development!)

Please don't hate Christmas A Yandere x Christmas x Urban Legend Otome game. Do you like Paranormal stuff? Do you like lore that connects with the story? Are you alright with MCs with a sprite that is impossible to remove from the screen? Well, look no further! This game is perfect for you! (by the way, the whole game was made by the creator. Only by themself! Even the CGs and character sprites!! Isn't that amazing!?)

Saint Spell's Love Guide A normal week of magical school... you can be friends with someone, or fall in love with them. Wait... there's lots of CGs for each character? Complicated world-building and lore!?? Angst and cruel bad endings!!?? SHROOMS!?!?!? {Oh by the way, there's multiple ways to get killed in this game. Just make sure to be careful sweetie :3}

Where Winter Crows go A crow and a scientist named Crowe... cute Another one of my other personal favourites! The love interest is a very squeezable and adorable (yandere) scientist who cooks you good food :D All of the endings are well-written! And if you're a crazy bitch like me, you'll love one of the endings >:)

THIS IS PART 1 SINCE I CAN'T FIT EVERYTHING IN 😭

[wonton4rang]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

that's not how this works.

pairing: sungho x reader.

warnings: +18, smut, mentions of cheating.

summary: based on charlie puth's song 'that's not how it works', with some changes because yes. basically cheater coming back and sungho fucking the shit out of you < 3

note: small thought i had to get out, wrote this in like 15 min, did not check anything so it might have typos but omg sungho is soooo hot 😭😭😭

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sungho was never the type to sleep around, he is a very relationship centered boy, he loved to have something stable with an specific person to woke up to and think about when things were getting heavy on his daily life.

he loved to have dates, go to the park and sit down on a mat while you ate whatever and talked about everything while laughing like it was the funniest thing. he loved to stay late nights at your place and kiss you for so long you both wouldn't even notice when you fell asleep until you woke up the other morning with the boy arms around your waist and his head on your shoulder while cuddled you from the back.

it was all so lovely. so endearing and everyone, including yourselves could see this long term.

that until you messed up.

sungho couldn't believe his eyes the day he was texting you while walking down the street, smiling like a dummy to his phone screen.

"i miss you so much, baby, can i make you dinner at my place today?" sungho typed.

"awww, i miss you so much too, sungho :( but i can't today, i have so much work to do with the finals. i'm so sorry..."

and sungho was not even going to complain, the opposite, in fact, he was going to offer you help or at least offer to send you food to your place for you to study in peace.

but he got distracted when he heard your voice a few meters away, you were standing in front of that cafe you both loved so much with your phone on your hands, apparently waiting for his answer and he just smiled candidly at your sight.

he loved you so much.

right before he could lift his hand and call your name another person joined the frame, making him frown his eyebrows when the boy held your waist and you just looked at him with a wide smile, putting your phone away and walking down the street with the other male holding your hand.

and he wasn't even mad right now, he was just confused as to what the fuck just happened. he might've got it wrong, right? maybe that boy was a family member or a close friend, not necessarily a lover, right?

oh, boy. sungho was trying by all means to make this a misunderstanding.

sad thing for him it wasn't. cause when you guys met the next day and he mentioned that he saw you at the cafe, you went pale, your hands shaking and you suddenly stuttering a lot with every word you said.

at the end he just called it quits after a few weeks of you ignoring him and his words whenever he brought the subject up.

changing the subject with a "oh my god, not this again, babe, i already explained this. i don't wanna talk about it"

but as much as sungho loved you, he wasn't a fan of cheaters or toxic environments so he just broke up with you, not giving you much details but his words being very blunt and explicit.

"i've loved you for many years but i can't be in a relationship were i am the only one committed. i don't like cheaters and i no longer feel comfortable with you. i wish you the best, thank you for everything you gave me"

and he was truly thankful because even though he cried like a baby for a whole month while going to sleep, ignoring your messages and not picking up your calls, he was thankful for the good moments and the bad ones too. he got great memories and a good lesson.

what he didn't expect was you in front of his apartment when he came back from college that night, looking so sorry but he knew better than that so he just passed by your side and opened his door without saying a thing, barely reacting when you pushed him away and got inside his house.

"what are you doing here? i thought i was clear when i said i didn't wanna see you anymore" he said still standing on his door frame, making space for you to leave as he said: "go away"

"i've missed you so much, i'm... i'm so sorry, sungho, i made a mistake and i-"

"we already talked about this, y/n" his voice sounded tired, he was in fact, because he couldn't believe you were so shameless to show up to him like this right when he was getting over you. "i don't care about your excuses, we are not a thing anymore"

"but we could be"

"no, we couldn't"

"but i-"

"you're not gonna leave?"

"please just let me talk"

"i already left you talk and all you could say was bullshit, y/n, i'm done with you, i don't want to be with you anymore and i sincerely hope you could understand that because you hurt me, okay?"

"why you gotta be so hot when you're mad?" sungho just chuckled, closing the door behind him and looking at you with his tilted head, bottom lip between his teeth and his expression yelling 'what am i supposed to do with you?', and honestly, you were up for anything.

"you gonna do the same to him too?" was all he said, swallowing when you got close to him, caressing his shoulders with a sly smile that made him tense.

"we broke up"

and even though sungho tried to play it nice, he wanted to be the bigger person so bad, he just wanted to keep it healthy. but here you were, too close to be apart and too hot to be ignored.

sungho was a weak man.

so he just took you in for a kiss, but not the soft type as you guys were used to, he grabbed the back of your head to press your lips harder and your arms hugged his waist to get closer.

you guys were just so hungry for each other.

sungho's hands were all over your body, holding your hips, your shoulders and then your face, his tongue getting in your mouth and making your pussy leak cause he knew how you liked it.

it didn't take him long to walk against you, your back pressing against the boy's bedroom door before he opened it and threw you on the bed. your eyes were sparkling when you looked at him take his shirt off and lay upon you to continue the kiss.

your legs were open and sungho's hips kept rolling against your clothed cunt, making you tremble and moan during the kiss, your nails pressing on the skin of his wide back and making him groan too.

"fuck, i need you" he said before attacking your neck, playing with your sanity when he started moaning against your skin, leaving long trails with his mouth before he looked you in the eye. "can i?"

and there was a reason you were there at night.

you just nodded and felt him unbuckling your pants, caressing the skin on your thighs when he pulled them down with your panties.

his eyes stayed fixated on your pussy, licking his lips before shaking his head to come back to his senses. he wanted to eat you out so bad but he knew he shouldn't, not right now. he had to fuck you.

and so he did.

he unbuckled his own pants and pulled out his dick, sliding it between your wet folds and making your legs shake a bit at the feeling. damn, you really missed it. but it got even better when he finally pressed his head in your entrance, looking at you like you were the most delicious meal, foxy eyes being slightly covered by his hair and his lips looking so wet that it made you clench your pussy. he was, in fact, the most delicious meal you ever got.

"you have condoms?" he inquired and you just denied with your head, your hands pressing on his back.

"please, get in" sungho kinda pulled back at that because he was not used to fuck you without protection, but you held him close and looked at him with that bright eyes that made him weak "please"

not a single word left his lips when he was pushing inside and once he got in, you had to arch your back, moaning at the stretch, sungho was definitely gifted, not huge but a nice size and width. and the best part was that he actually knew how to use it.

he held your hips and thrusted in a few times before actually starting to moan himself, biting his lip and your hands tangled in his hair, gosh, he loved when you did that.

his weight dropped a little bit in top of you, his lips moving quickly to find yours and start a desperate kiss while his hips kept speeding up, making your body move against the sheets and your hair get all messed up.

but you really didn't mind to be messed up, not when it was sungho the one who messed you up.

and he knew that. everyone fucking knew that.

"you feel so good, sungho" you muttered when he left your lips and hid his face on your neck, crying a little bit out of pleasure there and making your pussy clench "fuck, you're so hot"

"stop saying that" but you know he loved it, his body spoke for him the things his words were denying "my god, you're so wet and warm"

"just for you"

"you suck me in s-so well" he continued, this time leaving your neck to look at you while he pounded your tight cunt "perfect for my dick, and just my dick, right, baby?"

"yes, i'm only yours, please"

and to be honest you both were edging at this point, so you just left yourself go and started matching sungho's thrusts to chase your own high, smiling when his hand grabbed softly around your neck, hard enough to make you feel the rush but not as hard to hurt you.

"i'm cumming" he announced and even though you thought he may want to pull out, he didn't, instead he pressed himself so deep in your pussy that you shaked when you felt him in your cervix.

"dammit" you moaned when the warm liquid filled you, making you feel so dirty, full and even wetter that it made your orgasm arrive while sungho's softly grinded his hips against your clit "oh god, w-wait"

"i know you fucking love it"

and you did.

but it was kinda sad though because as soon as you came, he pulled out, started putting his pants back on and looking for his shirt on the bedroom floor.

you looked at him confused because he never, and i mean NEVER, left you like that after having sex, where was the after care? he didn't even kiss you or said you did well.

the next thing was what actually made you snap, him giving you your pants with a serious look in his face.

"what?" his voice was neutral, no feeling on it, not happiness, not anger, nothing.

"what's wrong?" you said while you took your pants and looked at him, you were still full of his cum, he didn't even pass you a tissue or a paper towel to clean yourself.

"about what? ain't you leaving?"

"sungho, what the fuck is this?" the sound of anger in your voice made sungho look at you confused while you put your pants on "we just had sex, why are you treating me like this?"

"we are not dating, i was pretty clear about that"

"but we just..." he just stayed put, listening to whatever you were going to say "i thought we made up"

"wow, for real? i'm not that easy though" and you damn knew his words had a double meaning when he just looked at you and laughed "anyways, get out of my apartment, let's get you a taxi, it's late"

and you couldn't say anything against it, he was right, you guys were not together, he never said he'll forgive you and, to be honest, you kinda had it coming.

but you tried one last time before he left your side once you got in the taxi.

"sungho, i am really sorry, he is not as good as you and i... i honestly miss you so much, can't we just try again?"

"you know that's not how it works, y/n. did you really break up with him before coming here?" you went silent and he got his answer "yeah, i thought so. i don't fuck with cheaters, pun intended, you can't be coming over or calling me each time you feel lonely or he fucks up"

"but i-"

"i don't deserve that. and neither does he" he cut you up and it was basically game over "get her home safe, sir, please"

the taxi man just nodded and the car finally left, you feeling like the worst person in the world while you texted your current boyfriend that you were going home.

sungho just watched the car go and smiled for himself because he knew you'll come back but this time it won't be the same as before.

because now sungho knew the drill. he was just wishing on a star that he would be able to push you away when you came back because that's not how it was supposed to work.

[drbased]

I wholeheartedly believe that the rise of andrew tate is a direct response to metoo. There's always been edgy misogynist male figures that men have gravitated towards, but andrew tate was the first one for whom there wasn't a veneer of jokey irony. and the thing about metoo is society really did not fucking know how to handle it. any feminist worth her salt would not be surprised at the obvious pattern, but for the first time in all of recorded history we had that pattern laid bare for the world to see. if famous and powerful men and women were committing sexual assault at the same rates, then I don't think we'd have seen such a backlash. literally no male figure was 'safe' - the edgy ones, the nice ones, the strongly political ones, the toughguy ones, the hot ones, the 'wife guy' ones, the forgettable ones, the accessible average ones. one from every category has been found committing some sort of assault, and it's jaded our entire populace. society did not fucking know how to handle it. and now, we have an entire generation of boys raised in a society already full of misogyny but no veneer of 'only the other type of man is the Bad Guy, not me - he's the one who's the wrong type of masculine'. leftists themselves didn't even know how to handle it, really - they've tried to talk about 'toxic masculinity' and 'no positive male role models' and 'men in power' but there's this stink all over it - like the stink of a cheap air freshener trying to cover up decades of bad air. it's literally impossible to engage with metoo without directly engaging with feminist theory, just as it's impossible to engage with blm without directly engaging with white supremacy. these social issues once considered niche have become mainstream and forced the normie populace to engage with ideas well beyond their comfort zone, forcing apolitical people to take a stand. most people have tried to take some sort of neutral stance by vaguely gesturing to 'the patriarchy' as some nebulous force that hurts men as much as it does women, but there's an increasingly large subset of men for whom engaging with even the most casual of media now has to involve being reminded of feminism - for a lot of us, there's kind of no escapism anymore. I've seen comments like 'enjoying a song and hoping the singer isn't caught with child porn' which very much echo my experience when engaging with any media made by... oh shit, it's really is mainly men, isn't it?

I'm a millenial, pretty squarely a millenial, and my generation of teenage boys were obsessed with edgy humour - eminem, dead baby jokes, rape jokes, family guy, south park. but that era is dead - if there's irony now it's a knowing irony. and that's what metoo did. teenage boys have always wanted to play in the dirt of society, they've always wanted to engage with the shittiest of what society has to offer. as they come of age they learn that society is their stomping ground, morality their playground. if rape of women is no big deal, then why care about the rest of morality? it's all just one big joke. and once, that joke used to carry with it a sincerely held belief that it was all just a joke - that is, inconsequential. but now we all know that this is shit isn't all theoretical - we've all heard the term rape culture, and the harmful effects of the n word. so if the joke has to continue, then it has to be on new terms. there has to be no irony anymore. if theoretical rape is funny, and rape of women is real, then real rape has to be funny. if rape isn't allowed to be funny, then rape has to be righteous.

andrew tate's popularity is an active 'fuck you' to society. it says that if men can't hide behind a veneer of respectability, blame rape on 'the other guy' and there aren't any nice guys, then fuck it, there aren't any nice guys. the idea of the 'white knight' has been popular in the manosphere for some time - the concept of a man only being kind to a woman because he's trying to sleep with her is something mras despise not because of the dishonesty to her but because of the dishonesty to other men. they value men being honest to each other in their hatred of women. and andrew tate is the embodiment of that mentality in the mainstream. men didn't mind the concept of popular powerful men being dishonest about their hatred of women because it was a useful societal buffer. perhaps you might even believe that these men liked the 'unproblematic' famous guys precisely because thinking about evil stuff all the time can make you feel a bit bad sometimes; a lot of the cool meme guys have an image that's nothing to do with women or sex. but if even those guys can't be divorced from misogyny and rape, then fuck it, we're not gonna pretend to care anymore. the veneer of male respectability was always for the sake of men. if women aren't gonna let us hide, then we're not going to hide.

[straykids-97]

Masterlist!!

•Anons are welcome AND encouraged!•

💫Stray Kids🌌

Bang Chan

Vermillion - Chan likes when you make him feel powerful. And one thing he likes to do is hunt... You. Chokehold - Chan can't sleep, so he wakes you up. Undone - Chan appreciates art. Sometimes it's music and sometimes it's hearing you say his name. Eloquent - Chan's age doesn't mean he's practiced in all arts... Covet - You join Chan while he works in the studio, and you get yourself into trouble... Eros - You spend the day thinking about Chan, and the he comes home after receiving an interesting picture of you... Vexation - Chan doesn’t like when someone touches what his Call Me by Your Name - There are a lot of things in the world that Chris loves... But hearing you say his name, is probably his favorite... Soft? - You heard me. Don’t make me repeat myself Chase - Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs Candy Floss? - Never say no to cotton candy... Or is it candy floss?

Drabbles/hard thoughts/Soft thoughts

Hardthought

Chan Drabble 1

Chan Drabble 2

Chan Drabble 3

Bang Chan Drabble

Chan Drabble 4

Chan/ Minho Anon Drabble

Chan Rant/Drabble

Soft Thought 1

Chan Drabble 5

Hardthought 2

Lee Know

The Summoning - the best sins are committed by those who'd you least expect... Mirror, Mirror - You push Lee Know over the edge, and now you're faced with your reflections... Obedient - You can't help but listen to every word that Minho says, even if it's bad Vanity - Mirrors reflect our own vanity, and Minho can’t stop using his… Drip - A human being is only breath and shadow. 

Drabbles/hard thoughts

Lee Know Drabble

Chan/ Minho Anon Drabble

Changbin

Hands - Changin's love language happens to be touch, and his hands are your weakness... Dessert - After hanging out with your friends, Changbin stops to get you some ice cream... Then he gets his own dessert... Passion - Changbin asks to come see you after a long day at the studio, and things heat up... Cherry - After a chance encounter, you meet Changbin again under much less innocent circumstances… Letters to the Moon - Changbin likes to push you until you're flustered. Until you feel like you can't take it anymore... But then pull you back and keep you where he wants you... Heat - Heat not a furnace for your foe so hot that it do singe yourself.

Drabbles/Hard thoughts

Hyunjin

Silhouette - Hyunjin enjoys painting... But he likes painting you more... (one and only smut to be flagged lol wtf) Love Potion - Three things cannot be long hidden; the sun, the moon, and the truth.

Drabbles/Hard thoughts

Felix

Blurry - Blur the lines of conformity.

Drabble/Hard thoughts

Lee Felix Drabble

BROWNIE BOY

Soft thoughts

Angel

Han

Blurry - Blur the lines of conformity.

Drabble/ Hard thoughts

Seungmin

Sweet - Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. 

Drabbles/ Hard thoughts

I.N

Fever - Passion is a sort of fever in the mind, which ever leaves us weaker than it found us.

Drabbles/ Hard thoughts

🫧Ateez🏴‍☠️

Seonghwa

Carmine - Seonghwa enjoys many things in life and overindulges occasionally. Sometimes it just happens to be you... Narcissist - Seonghwa likes to annoy you, but his favorite thing to do is make you cry…

Drabbles/ Hard thoughts

Seonghwa hard thought 1

Seonghwa hard thought 2

Yunho

Jaws - Yunho is prepared to do everything to help you forget. Even if that means doing something you've never done before. Scarlet - Yunho is a patient man, but sometimes you wear his patience thin… Take it Back - Once said, you can't take it back...

Drabbles/Hard thoughts

TMI??

Yunho Hard thought 1

Oh?

Control

San

The Offering - San can't help but taste the sweetest thing possible... and that's you. Ego - Wooyoung finally convinces you to try something new… and you quickly discover that it’s very taboo…

Drabbles/Hard thoughts

Choi San Brain Rot

Mingi

The Night Does Not Belong to God - Mingi's favorite pass time is watching your eyes roll... Ruby - Mingi is an educated man in all aspects...

Drabbles/Hard thoughts

Mingi Drabble

Mingi Drabble 💭✍🏻

Wooyoung

Ego - Wooyoung finally convinces you to try something new… and you quickly discover that it’s very taboo…

Rants

Grievance/ Rant

Chan Rant

[honeygrahambitch]

Hot take incoming, the night Alana visits Will and he was looking for the raccoon and they kiss, they also end up sleeping together then yeah for the sake of this plot Will doesn't tell Hannibal about it.

One week later after telling Will that he is too broken for her she ends up sleeping with Hannibal and then after some time she figures out she is pregnant.

She can't really tell who is the father and her doctor doesn't help too much because in that time span it could have been either of them.

And if she had to take a paternity test, she would have to admit to both of them that she slept with the other. And in such a short time as well. So yeah tough situation for our girl Alana.

In the end she decides to tell Hannibal that it's definitely HIS, since he was the last she had slept with. And she is surprised when Hannibal says that he actually wants to be involved and stuff. They wait for 3 months before telling everyone about it and oh lord, Alana's life is not easy since she thinks about the possibility of carrying Will's child every single night.

Her relationship with Hannibal is going...well. It's mostly sex, psychiatry talk and Will Graham talk. He is now locked up for the crimes he might have committed and it's somehow putting her mind at ease cause it makes the problem seem "far away".

During her 4th month she starts showing so it can no longer be a secret that she is pregnant. The worst part is that she really would have loved to enjoy the whole ride. She was happy about having a baby and sometimes the thought that consoled her best was that neither Will nor Hannibal were bad choices. The issue about Will was his mental illness but the kid didn't have to inherit it. It was all a genetics game.

And if it was Hannibal's child, even better. They would make great parents. They were both very sane people. This thought was what helped her sleep at night.

Time passes and Will is freed. He starts therapy again. He has no idea about Alana's pregnancy and he doesn't know enough about her relationship with Hannibal. So when Hannibal gives him the news, it quite comes as a shock. He tries not to show it but it breaks him.

Out of politeness he asks about how long Alana has until she is giving birth and he doesn't really do the math in that moment. He does it in the middle of the night when he realizes that they have had sex exactly 4-5 months ago. Then...had Alana slept with Hannibal so soon after? He felt like a broken toy but at the same time, the more concerning problem was the one about the pregnancy. Was there a possibility that he was the father? Was Hannibal the father? The thoughts kept him up until morning.

He confronts Alana about it and oh boy, she certainly did not expect that. She denied it and denied it and denied it until she admitted that "maybe" that was a possibility.

He is very serious about the idea of being a father figure so he wants the paternity test. And he absolutely doesn't want Hannibal to raise his own child. Not now when he was so driven to unmask him. It's not even about Alana anymore. He no longer feels anything for her since she had never even been able to believe in the best of him.

She knows she has to tell Hannibal. And Will himself wants to tell Hannibal that his kid might be in fact, his. However he agrees that Alana should have this talk with Hannibal since she is so nicely playing the "wife" role.

Hannibal's face stayed neutral during the whole length of the discussion. More than anything, he is intrigued about how the tables have turned. Certainly this was something he had not planned or seen coming. He, as much as Will does, wants to know who the father is.

He felt betrayed by Alana but not that much to make it personal. It was comprehensible that she could not tell him that she had slept with Will one week before sleeping with him. In the end, neither of them expected that to happen.

He hated the fact that he had bonded with the idea of having a baby and that it might be taken away from him. The same way he "took" Abigail away from Will.

(if you have made it to the end of this post, then you should know I have no idea what happens next. So, yeah, I had to share it because it's such an entertaining plot. Feel free to reblog with potential endings)

[thefoolishone666]

Kickin also once said

What is this? I have more? That is right @hiwelcometothemonstersancturary I have had way too much fun with the first, I have decided to drop kick the chicken through much more. Is this a good idea, no. Let's begin!

* Stand back, I know how to do the Wenis!

* Bubba, in reference to doing drunk Mario Party: The main thing is, I LOATHE alcohol, so I would hate every second.

Kickin: Just drink hot sauce. That is the next best thing for it.

* When did I become predictable!?

* (Building a boat on stream) Oh no, Mom is here. I am doing normal adult things, I swear. (Trying to hide the boat behind back)

* I am just saying, it was written in the stars that I would lose my leg. I would have liked to be told that Picky needed some emergency rations on that instead of it just happening, but at that point I am looking a gift horse in the mouth.

* (Watching Dogday play a rhythm game)...Catnap, I think Dogday is broken, he has not blinked once in the past minute.

* (Playing Blades in the Dark) Picky: Did you kill this person!?

Kickin:...Evidence wise no...but as a friend I can tell you that he insulted my hat.

* (Grabing Picky and lightly shaking) ARE YOU STRAWBERRY!?

* Anything that is pure white, is just as equally evil!

(30 seconds later)

...I just remembered Crafty exists...

* We did it! We killed an innocent man!

* (Camera is upside down and he has yet to notice) The fact that Bubba is just grinning while standing in the door has me nervous.

* Hoppy, I know you are mad at me, but letting yourself be juggle combo'ed is a great way to relieve stress.

* Não tenho boca e ainda assim devo gritar, or in English, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

* Picky: Should we do a cooking show intro or...

Kickin, instantly looking at camera: Boys, girls, and everyone in between, welcome to our new cooking show, "WAIT, WE CAN EAT EVERYDAY NOW!?" I am your pirate co host, Kickin, and this is Picky, currently still going through some character development.

* The best way to hide a body is to eat it...but this person is not a chicken, pig, or lamb, and we don't have a lamb in the gang, at least yet.

* The best way to not die is to eat, at least in my opinion...I am not looking at chat cause I know they are already asking if I ate anything yet.

* Poppy: Bubba sent you something from college!

Kickin: Yay! I love that elephant...Oh, Poppy, since you are here, you mind helping me?

Poppy: Sure. What is it?

Kickin: I need you to be a murderer.

* God...if you can hear me...you still owe me 5 bucks.

* Sometimes, life gives you a free drop kick in the groin.

* I will use the scientific method. (Closes eye and starts hits random buttons)

* Only three rules on this ship, remember to eat, remember to sleep, and if someone is neglecting to do 1 or 2, put them in a sleeper hold to force them to eat and/or sleep.

* What are friends but people you eat in a huge panic when food is low?

* In the name of the Father, Catnap, and my other Father. Amen.

* Hello it is I, the hatcher that is Billy.

* I AM THE CHICKEN SANDWICH KING! I am not a cow, so I can't be the burger King.

* I am made of tons of chicken, I can even name them. Nuggets. (Returns to game)

* I want to vote Theo. I have no proof he is the killer, I just want to do it for the bit. And pity revenge.

* Who says I can't be fabulous while firing myself out of a canon?!

* (Refering to how long till he called Angel parent on purpose) Who here wants to take bets on how long until I had an emotional breakdown?

* No joke, there have been days where I sign off the stream, get myself something to drink, and the entire farm will just hear, "SHOOT I NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO PICKY!" or whoever cause I don't pay attention to what leaves my face hole sometimes.

* Guys, sorry to interrupt the party, but I MAY have gotten stabbed and need some help.

* I would to dedicate the unnecessary slaughter of all the underworld's monsters to Dad, cause I am trying to regain what good is in my soul for committing to this...

* If I wear two eyepatches I become a super pirate!

* (Playing A pokemon soul link) Kickin: I got bad and shit news.

Bubba:...What is the bad news?

Kickin: I may have gotten a pokemon killed.

Bubba:...Which one?

Kickin: You know how happy you are when you got your favorite polemon in this...?

* (Singing) I gave my love a chicken...that had no face...

* Bobby is going to come in here one day without me noticing while I am playing Mortal Kombat and just clap when I get brutality, I already feel it.

* Cole, I like you, but why must you be lightening?

* What is Gender, but another thing we don't understand here.

* (Refering to the stack of golden apples he has) But I may need them later...(Eating rotten flesh)

* (Drawing on white board trying to figure out story of game) Then if this connected to this, and this to that...I just wrote a bunch of scribbles.

* You can't make me eat, shut up dad. (Realizes Angel is there) That wasn't towards you, I swear!

* My favorite weapons for stealth are a dagger, a pistol, and 55 pounds of TNT I always keep on hand.

* (Playing Something Wicked from Ultrakill) Why must Playtime help with this game!?

* But hate doesn't taste as good as my leg though!

* Today on, "Playtime ruined my life, now it ticks me off in the smallest of ways," fnaf lore.

* WHO GAVE THE DOG A KNIFE, AND WHERE CAN I MEET THEM!?

* So P3 has Dogday, P4 has Bobby, and P5 has Catnap...I am not bitter I am not in persona yet. You have no proof.

* (Refering to Phoenix Wright) WHERE WERE YOU WHEN WE WERE IN COURT!?

* A man with a knife is just a surgeon with a 100% mortality fate.

* If I get my mind trapped in the VR, make sure to tell dad.

* I already know what you are thinking and you are correct, I did make the dive bell horribly wrong and I am totally fine. (As he tosses a rock in a random direction in rage)

* Kickin: I am just sitting here scared as all hell, meanwhile these two are sitting back like, "Yes, nothing new here."

Catnap: Welcome to your new home in Silent Hills! You get used to your neighbors.

Kickin: It is a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day with our neighbors.

Crafty and Kickin: Won't you be my, won't you be my...

Kickin: Won't you be, my murderer?

* I think we can all agree Cathulu is out of all of our leagues.

* O que você vai fazer!? Me esfaquear!?

* I will be fine-FODA-ME, ISSO É UM TELEFONE!...(Covers face)...I got scared by a phone...

* Have a good night everyone, I am going to become dinner!

[neutron-stars-collision]

Deadlines & Commitments

Neil x F!Reader

Chapter 3 - Canning Town Underground Station

Masterlist; Chapter 2 Summary: Flirting, Leicester Square station mixtape, flowers and breakdowns in the cantina. Or another chapter of an unlikely liaison. Warnings: Swearing, E-rated language and imagery and more outrageous flirting. Author's Notes: Chapter a month might just be the new deal here, apologies. And this one's long, by which I mean over 11k 💁🏻‍♀️ It also seems like now that I've started, I can't stay away from Neil's POV so... yeah. Look out for a cheeky cameo too 😉 Other than that, I can assure you this is just as chaotic and ridiculous as the last chapter. These two are in full control, I'm just a mere scribe, doing my best. Hopefully it works. Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think? 💕 Taglist: @hollandorks, @kristevstewart, @stargirl25 (let me know if you want to be added)

Incorporating Neil into your daily (and weekly) life was easy. Almost terrifyingly so if you did as much as stop and think about it. Perhaps the self-preservation rooted deep within forbade you to reflect on it. Which, in hindsight, was a good thing.

After that first victory of obtaining Neil’s number, you did not hold back from texting and bombarding him with daily nonsensical memes that could have driven a different man to madness. Neil, however, took it in his stride. It was rare not to get a reply from him after longer than an hour. And that boosted your courage like nothing else.

Some days, the conversations went like this:

/ 🏹, 12:07 pm/ Show me what socks are you wearing.

/✝️, 12:13 pm/ Jesus, that’s forward.

/ 🏹, 12:14 pm/ That’s basically my second name. So?

/ 🏹, 12:14 pm/ I swear I won’t sell the pic on OF.

/✝️, 12:20 pm/ Well, if you do, then at least share the earnings with me.

Although you started the ridiculous conversation, when the next text came, consisting of a single image of a socked ankle bared by the familiar hand pulling up the pant leg, you nearly dropped the coffee cup in the middle of the Covent Garden. It was just an ordinary Tuesday lunchtime, with the square bustling with sound and movement. Using the rare sunny September day, you escaped the confines of the Royal Opera House to have your coffee break on the kerb. Thanks to the dwindling sense of coherence, you did not drop said coffee when you opened the photo. The socks you had asked for were black with a grey argyle pattern. But that was where the normalcy ended, for the rhombuses were filled with corgi heads. The brown-beige dogs stared at you through the screen with their beady eyes and were the reason for your hysterical laughter.

The overprotective mother tending to her children close by shot you a dirty look. Well, fuck her.

/ 🏹, 12:23 pm/ Neil, you’re too cute. Way too cute.

/✝️, 12:32 pm/ It’s what every guy wants to hear. Thanks, Cupid.

/ 🏹, 12:34 pm/ I never said you’re not hot, though. Which you very much are. So much that I thought of you when…

/✝️, 12:35 pm/ Yeah, don’t finish that sentence. Please.

/✝️, 12:35 pm/ I’d rather maintain my innocence.

/ 🏹, 12:36 pm/ As you wish 😘

That was not a lie. It was a result of yet another tiring day and an early night in bed when it was too early to sleep. So, you chose to fill the time like most women would, letting your thoughts drift to images and scenarios that always did the trick as your hand delved between your thighs. When you realised who you had been thinking of, the tension was so close to bursting that you did not try to shift the attention. When you came, the guilt was nowhere to be found.

After all, it was not a sin to think of pretty boys when taking the edge off. As soon as you realised that Neil did not take the flirty line seriously, that feeling of potentially having done something wrong became non-existent. It was fine. It was all fine.

Other times, especially during those Wednesday mornings on the Tube, your conversations looked more like this:

“I’ve got an invasive question…” changing the subject during your weekly chats was easy, for as soon as you set a weighty gaze on Neil, he sobered up too.

The endless questions did not seem to bother him either. Your boundless curiosity was particularly grateful for that.

“As long as you’re not going to ask me what underwear I’m wearing, I think we’re fine,” the poker face was only disturbed by Neil’s twitching lips, and the sparks danced in his eyes as he inclined his head in your direction, blessing you with the golden strands, “Shoot,”

Every time, you took a deep breath, silently gathering the courage to ask, and then let the question fall from your lips without a pause:

“When was the last time you’ve been in love?” the curiosity was all it was.

Yet still, Neil’s widening eyes made you consider that perhaps something else was underlining that desire to know. And that this question was different than others you had asked. Different from “Dogs or cats?” “Typical coffee order?” and “Any hidden talents?”. But it was too late to take it back.

“Oof, you weren’t joking” Neil seemed to shake it off quickly, only briefly offering you a glare before looking down to find the needed words, “Probably two-ish years ago…?” you were sure you had imagined the broken edge in his voice as Neil swallowed hard and continued “It was a disaster. She didn’t- Let’s just say I went in too hard and too fast, and she got scared. Pretty much ghosted me after a half-assed excuse” when he raised his head and meet your gaze, you could see the depths of hurt in his eyes.

Your heart felt pathetically hollow, but you smothered the feeling to nothing but an uncomfortable sting.

“Ouch,” a wince was easy enough to muster, and you followed it with an apology, “Sorry,” Neil’s crestfallen look was an inspiration for you to place your hand on his shoulder and give him a reassuring squeeze “I know that it doesn’t help, but it’s her, not you” you knew the light statement was the right way to go when Neil cracked a wry smile and gave your other wrist a tap.

“Thanks,” it was evident enough to realise that Neil was eager to drop the subject. It was clearer still that you were going to be the next target, “I won’t ask you the same since I know better, but… Do you really think no one could change your view on love?” yet when the question fell in the space between you, it was not what you had expected.

The surprise must have painted on your face, for Neil looked a second away from taking it back. You stopped him from doing that the only way you could think of – by extending your hand in what was universally thought of as a ‘hold up’ motion. It was not that you did not want to answer. And it was not the first time someone had asked either.

But it was not something you were keen on inspecting and tearing apart to offer an honest answer. It was a fact, pure and simple. A fact that you would believe in till the day you died. There was no place for love in your life, and there would never be. Full stop.

“Yeah, I do,” you met Neil’s waiting gaze and offered him a weak shrug. The strange disappointment in his gaze made no sense, so you chose to ignore it to shift your attention to the world outside the carriage as it arrived at the next station. The belief in your next words was as tangible as anything else you could conceive, “It would take a miracle”.

He did not ask that question again.

Those Wednesday morning conversations also became a source of information, which you had stowed securely in the compartment of your brain labelled ‘Neil’. After almost two months of acquittance, you knew that he was born and raised a Londoner (from Richmond, the posh fuck [affectionate]), was decidedly a dog person and had a chocolate Labrador growing up (a girl named Daisy), listened to alt-rock and 80s music and was what he described as a hopeless romantic. You still did not know what he did for work, only that he was decidedly not a tattooist, literary agent, paramedic, jockey, art critic, dressmaker, choreographer, or bus driver. Whether he was truly not just a priest undercover was still up for debate.

***

Only when you fled the confines of the ordinary tiny London flat kitchen and felt the night breeze of the city on your skin, left bare from the jacket you did not yet put on, had the question of the ages pop into your head. What the fuck? There was no answer. You shook your head against the memories of what had just conspired and stopped on the pavement to put on and fasten the jacket. Even annoyed, you could still feel the biting cold begin to settle in your bones.

You never expected to bump into Liam. Never in a million years would you have considered that those two friends you shared would extend the invitation to that man out of all people. And you certainly did not expect him to come.

Although, as he had unhelpfully explained himself, he only showed up because of the chance you would be there. The audacity made you shake your head vehemently, without a doubt attracting a glare or two from those who remained sober at this hour. In Soho on Saturday night, that was unlikely.

You walked through the cobbled streets with the neon lights lighting your path without an aim or a map. The only objective was to stomp the frustration into the cracked pavement and end up home. Somehow. Specifics were to be determined later.

Sure, rushing out of your mate’s flat like a lightning bolt could be seen as impulsive. But Liam offered you no choice. The pleasant buzz of alcohol did nothing to stop the embarrassment, which grew worse by the minute. The long walk in an unknown direction was a sad but acceptable consequence. Or so you aimed to maintain.

By the time you had seriously begun to consider using the dwindling phone battery to order an Uber and save you from the penance of someone else’s transgressions, the red circle with a navy blue bar appeared on the horizon. Salvation, at last. You picked up the pace, eager to get out of the cold and that one step closer to home. This close to Leicester Square and the theatres just having closed their doors on the last patrons, the bustle seemed quieter somehow, more subdued. It was a blessing for your budding headache and a threat to the thoughts eager to appear with nothing suppressing them.

You crossed the road and descended the staircase with a sigh. The heat of the station enveloped you like a hug as you passed the ticketing gates and spent an unnecessarily long time staring at the Tube map. When the logic kicked in, at last, you rushed over to the correct platform.

Only to regret it as soon as the timing screen came into view. Heathrow Airport 25 mins. The polite PSA text below informed you the line was experiencing delays. No biggie. They were sorry. The usual shit. A curse litany lodged in your throat as your eyes roamed over the platform.

All the noise in your head faded to nothing when your gaze settled on that familiar blonde head of hair. He was sitting in one of the few chairs with his head bowed over his knees in a position so exemplary for a Saturday night in the glorious London town. You skimmed over his body, taking note of the casual jeans and a t-shirt, peeking from beneath the unbuttoned jacket.

Before you knew it, your legs had started carrying you in his direction, a goofy smile present on your face. The improbability of it happening made everything easier. Because what were the odds?

Instead of counting them, you approached Neil, still so blissfully unaware of your presence and delivered an opening line:

“Hello, Father,” the joke did not yet get old, and you still got the kick out of it.

Especially when Neil raised his head fast enough to give himself a whiplash and gasped from shock.

“Jesus- Oh, what the fuck?” clutching at his heaving chest with all the drama he could muster, Neil offered you a look so full of surprise you knew he did not expect this to happen either.

The only weekend plans you had discussed over texts were that you had a party to go to, and he was likely to go out with his workmates at some point. But that was it. Zero specifics, no need to share them because there was no need for either of you to know the details. And yet.

“Is that how you should greet a lady?” playing on his theatrical reaction, you feign a shocked expression.

It was clear you would fail at any attempts of annoyance. Your cheeks were already aching with that kind of wide, manic grin only Neil seemed to cause. You could see his eyes skim over your figure, taking in your clothes with that sort of precision only he seemed capable of. Finally, satisfied with what he saw, Neil raised his head to meet your gaze again and got up to bow lowly at your feet:

“Apologies, m’lady,” before you knew what he was doing, he took hold of your hand and kissed your knuckles. A move so fast you almost thought you had imagined it if not for the fading sensation of his lips still ghosting your skin, “What are you doing here?” with his hand lightly touching your elbow, Neil steered you towards the seats.

Only now, with the surprises fading into the background, you took note of the empty platform. It was just the two of you sitting on the creaky plastic chairs. You shifted an inch closer to Neil, seeking the warmth radiating off his body and replied:

“As I’ve mentioned, I had an invitation to this flat party in Soho… And I went, but then, and you’ll never believe that happened-” recounting the improbable story felt good, and you took pleasure in the attention Neil gave your every word.

“Let me guess… Liam showed up?” his interjection followed your dramatic pause flawlessly.

Of course, he got it. Of course, he guessed. You shook your head at his eager smile, aware of the glee in your eyes:

“Damn, you’re good” your low approving whistle reverberated in the space. Most shockingly, there was a certain level of joy in sharing the story, even as your skin crawled with the embarrassment of what transpired, “Yeah, and it turns out that getting blocked did not make him smarter. It became a whole thing, along with him getting down on his knees in the middle of a kitchen and proclaiming his undying love to me,” you wondered if Liam was still there, kneeling on the tiled floor and waiting for your return.

Partially, you hoped that was the case.

Throwing you out of the strange ruminations, Neil shook his head and offered you a serious look:

“Blimey,” his tsk almost got lost in the PA announcement, crackling from the speakers. When it ended, Neil met your gaze with a sympathetic smile, “No wonder you ran away,” his knee nudged yours, triggering something you would not understand even in months.

Sitting upright, you nodded fervently:

“I had to” the emotions you did not know were present poured out from your lips as the next words fell in the space between you, “And like- He doesn’t even know me? He never saw me on the stage, and he thinks that making me cum a couple of times is enough?” a frustrated growl tore from your chest as you finished the tirade with a tired sigh and simple punchline, “Bullshit,”

There was no time or willingness to take apart where all that anger came from or why it was suddenly so important Neil understood your reasons. It just was. Later it was easily blamed on the alcohol still present in your veins. For now, you met his gaze and shrugged, answering the questions he seemed too shy to ask.

“With that, I must agree. It’s bullshit” nudging you with his shoulder, Neil smiled, brightening the clouds that still seemed to hang over your mind.

You shot him a brilliant grin, brushing away the concerns with terrifying ease. They had to wait, ideally forever.

“Thanks, babe” sugar coated your smile as you allowed yourself to gaze, taking note of the blush spreading on his cheeks. Although you would never admit it out loud, the blue of his eyes was slowly becoming your favourite shade of the colour. It was that thought that triggered your next confession, “Admittedly, meeting you here is a highlight of the night,” you watched as his eyes grew wider, evidently not expecting to hear something that honest. The moment stretched for what felt like ages until you found the strength to look away, focusing on the timing screen and the issues it posed, “Though, those delays are bullshit, too” your eye-roll elicited an instant laugh, which only added warmth to the kindling sparks in your chest.

“Mhmm,” Neil’s hum acted like an anchor, tying you to reality.

It was a better place to get lost in than the chaos raging in your head. You chose to stick by it, following the easy way out with a simple question:

“How come you’re here?” you turned towards Neil, hoping to block the platform and the world beyond from view.

Even if just figuratively and for a short while. If the answering bright smile was anything to go by, Neil was happy to humour you:

“I’ve been out for drinks at a pub, but then our crowd isn’t very… boisterous, so we all went our separate ways, and here I am,” he signed off the summary with an explanatory shrug, but you should have kept your guard up. Once his gaze settled on you with an intensity of intent, a pathetic instinct kickstarted your heart with all the subtlety of trainwreck, “Bored as fuck until you’ve shown up” the joy in that simple sentiment was enough to make your cheeks heat up.

Of its own volition, your brain provided the fresh memory of how Liam’s attention in that cursed kitchen had made you feel. How running away was the only option you saw then. It was different now; the quiet focus of the man sitting next to you was a welcomed change. A company you were happy to keep. For however long you were allowed.

“How long do you think till it’s-” ignoring the shyness that did not seem happy to be buried in Neil’s company, you changed the subject with all the grace of an elephant.

It was evident in how you stuttered, quickly abandoning the idea of finishing the sentence and letting it trail off into the quiet. It was too early to raise your head from the depths of shame it was drowning in. It was all a little too much.

“Could be twenty minutes, could be an hour… or never,” Neil’s voice gained a cheeky edge as if conscious of your minor crisis and happy to offer a distraction.

You risked a peek at his face, finding the signature smirk gracing his face. That expression never failed to feel like a sharpened knife piercing through the walls of your uncertainty. It complimented his face too well, dragging the attention to Neil’s sharp features and his remarkable eyes that always felt like they could see right through your bullshit and the pretending. It was terrifying.

It was then, in the light of his frightening beauty, that you decided what to do next. What was necessary to keep you (moderately) sane. One look at your tote bag lying on your lap offered inspiration:

“Fab,” your dry comment elicited Neil’s laugh and sealed the deal on what you wanted to do next. There was no backing out. You straightened your spine and swivelled on the seat to face him fully. When your knees touched him, Neil’s eyes widened almost comically. But that was only the beginning of the wild ride for him, you were sure of it, “Well, then… Dance with me,” the delivery of that line required a special nonchalance.

One that required you to hold Neil’s gaze long after you had finished speaking, and the words had only just dawned on him. Once they did, his eyes got comically large, and his lips parted on what could only be a mute expression of horror. A giggle got trapped in your throat, but you fought valiantly against it. For now.

“Pardon?” Neil’s choked-out question came after sequenced opening and closing his mouth with nothing coming up.

Your poker face was tearing at the seams. Foolishly.

“Dance with me, Neil,” repeating the request (order?), you extended your hand towards him, signing off the invitation for what it was.

The shock was still present on his face. Despite that, Neil slipped his palm, warm and fitting perfectly, into yours. You could tell that it was not entirely conscious on his part.

You sure did not mind it, though.

“I might have had a drink or two, but I didn’t think I was drunk enough to be hearing things,” Neil’s incredulity bled into his tone as he stared you down as if hoping the sheer disbelief would be enough to deter you.

Tough luck.

“Come on,” squeezing his hand, you switched the tactic with a question, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” there was no judgment in your gaze, and you hoped Neil knew that.

If asked, you could not explain why that was something you wanted to do with him, there and then of all places. But it still felt important. Urgent, even.

The no-bullshit look you got in return almost made you burst into laughter.

“You’ll see me dance,” Neil deadpanned as if it was clear.

As if that was the peak horror that could befall him at your hands. Using the lifeline of your joined palms, you rubbed your thumb over the tender skin of his hand, hoping to let that act as a reassurance. That was a nonsensical fear to have.

Who gave you, a mediocre ballerina, the right to judge? Absolutely no one.

“And?” you offered Neil a brilliant grin, doing your best not to think about how right it felt to have his hand resting in yours.

That question seemed to catch his attention, pulling him back from the precipice of self-doubt. You watched as Neil pondered the answer, staring at you with that bright-eyed, anxious expression, complete with his teeth nibbling on his lower lip. He picked at the worried, fragile skin, and you did not think about soothing the damage with your tongue. Not at all.

“I don’t know… You’ll leave and block me?” when he finally found a plausible answer, it was the last thing you expected Neil to say.

Despite the seriousness on his face, you could not hold back the laugh that spilt from your lips. What an idiot [affectionate]. The adorable pout in his bottom lip was responsible for the recklessness you chose to implement.

Without thinking about it too much, you leaned in and used your free hand to cup his face, eradicating the remains of the gap between you. As your thumb brushed over his cheekbone, Neil gasped, barely disguising the sound with a cough. The grin spread over your face as you spoke:

“It takes a little more than that for me to block you,” that was true; you could barely fathom blocking Neil, least of all because of such a trivial reason. It was only after a beat that the second meaning of what he said sunk in. The meaning you expected Neil did not exactly consider slipping out like that. You grabbed it with both hands and a knowing smile, “Also… you enjoy talking to me that much?”

The jackpot shot came with a furious blush on his cheeks and an embarrassed scoff as Neil turned away from your watchful gaze. Your hands stayed linked. That, too, was an adorable reaction. It made that pleasant warmth in your chest burner brighter, though you refused to inspect it too closely.

Before you could consider pushing him for a reply further, Neil jumped up from the creaky seat and pulled you to standing using your tight handhold. The fake pep was visible from miles away, especially in that manic grin that almost seemed too wide on his face. But you did not have the time to question it.

“Okay, let’s just dance,” Neil tugged at your hand impatiently.

He did not seem capable of standing still, hopping from one leg to another. If that was a sign of what was coming, you knew you were not ready. Your eyes narrowed in what you hoped was a mildly threatening look:

“That’s a deflection tactic,” still, you took a step closer to him, finally putting that handhold to use.

“Yes, it is,” Neil nodded as his arms opened in a shrug.

That was your answer. You could only cement it with a smile as you allowed him to pull you closer, almost into his open arms, except-

“Wait, we need music,” remembering that crucial missing piece, you let go of his hand and darted back to the tote abandoned by the seats.

“No shit,” Neil’s dry comment was accompanied by the scuffling of his shoes over the cracked tiles.

You grinned, triumphantly holding out the speaker you had fished from the bag. That was the only pro you could think of that came from your earlier practice, and no time in between that and the disastrous party.

“Lucky for you, I came prepared,” you showcased it like a spoil of war and turned the speaker on, awaiting the sound confirming it had connected to your phone. When it came, you ceremoniously placed the device on the vacated seat and pressed play on your phone. Only once the music was playing, you turned back towards Neil with a flourish, “Voila,”

It took him an additional second to identify the song, the synthesizer filling the empty platform with a special kind of vibe. When the proper beat kicked in, you started shimmying your hips and shoulders to the rhythm, awaiting Neil’s reaction. You were not disappointed when he gaped at you with joy barely disguised underneath a frown:

“Really?” still, his foot started tapping with the singer’s voice.

Shrugging, you spun around him, feeling the music fill your body like it always did. You always felt the most alive when dancing. When your feet were following the choreography, and head was deliciously empty of everything but the musical notes and lyrics.

When you stopped to meet Neil’s gaze, you found him staring back in awe.

“What? It’s not me; it’s the holy spirit of the shuffle,” the song started heading towards the chorus, so you added the hand movements, orbiting around Neil and hoping to pull him along, “Can’t argue with it,”

‘Don't. Don't you want me?

You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me

Don't. Don't you want me?

You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me’

It was an all-time favourite. A bop you did not have the heart to resist whenever it came on. Now was not any different. Your lips started whispering the words as your body moved through the space, overcome with the feeling of dancing. At that moment, you were grateful for the sensible footwear your past self had chosen that morning. Sure, dancing in high heels was possible, but the Converse made for a much better choice. They slid along the cracked tiles without resistance, allowing you to double the efforts.

It did not matter that you had an audience. Or that it was a particularly attentive one, for you never once felt Neil look away. He was still staring, standing almost stock-still, save for how his feet tapped out the beat. That had to change.

‘Don't you want me, baby?

Don't you want me? Oh!’

You stopped, chest heaving and limbs still too giddy with the effort. You met Neil’s unwavering gaze over the space and mouthed the chorus, aware of the interpretations he could easily reach. That was fine, nothing you were opposed to. In a way, him noticing half your actions did have a tentative hope behind them would have saved you time. And words. But that was a thought for another time.

Once you heard the female vocals come in, you reached out towards him, yet again presenting Neil with your open hand. Yet again, he did not hesitate, letting you pull him close. When the distance had been eradicated, Neil placed his hand on your waist with an experimental level of timidity. As if he was still fully expecting the move to backfire. Silly goose. Your hand ventured up his chest to his shoulder as you steeled your frame into what was expected of ballroom dancing. The habits were hard to shake off, after all.

Despite the booming synthesizers and grooving rhythm, you let him lead you into a slow dance. With each step, Neil’s confidence seemed to grow, for his grip became firmer as he splayed his hand over the small of your back and pulled you closer. It did not matter that his technique would bring your snobbish teachers from ballet study to tears. What mattered was that you felt safe within his embrace, never shying away from Neil’s gaze as it stayed trained on your face. What also mattered was that the genuine smile was fixed on your face. Especially when the song was slowly ending, and Neil was not letting go. What a novelty that was. You worried that once you tasted it, it would be impossible to let go. To forget this careless feeling, encapsulated within a simple, tender hold and open, beautiful eyes.

“That was hardly a song for slow dancing,” when Neil spoke, the remark came upon a hesitant smile, so at odds with how sure his hand was within yours.

“We made do, didn’t we?” you could only offer him a smile, aware of the wobbly edges of your voice and the yearning of your treacherous heart.

Even with years of practice, it sometimes wanted what it could not get. Affection, namely. Or the tenderness that meant something, rather than the mindless touch of a loveless fuck. You hoped one day those two would disappear, leaving you perfectly satisfied with what you had.

As if aware of your dangerous thoughts, the song switch came at a perfect moment. The last beats of The Human League died down, replaced with an equally cheesy rhythm. If not worse. Neil’s reaction was instant. He stopped dancing abruptly, making you nearly miss stepping on his foot. Your eyes darted to his face as curiosity soared in your chest. The barely masked joy you found there only made that warmth in your heart feel like tongues of fire. You disentangled from the embrace to place your hand on his chest and push him back lightly:

“Come on, pretty boy. Show me what you’ve got,” you completed the encouragement with a wink and stepped back to give him space.

The hesitation stage lasted much less this time. Neil stared at you, evidently weighing the pros and cons of giving in, but as soon as Falco opened the song with the lines in German, he had made up his mind. It was your turn to be dumbfounded as you watched Neil thrash to the music, almost keeping up with the beat. He slid across the tiles, barely managing not to slip as Falco went on about Mozart and his flair.

‘Er war ein Virtuose, war ein Rockidol

Und alles rief: Come on and rock me Amadeus’

It was easy to say Neil got lost in the music as his lean body twisted and turned, claiming the space he was allowed to occupy. There was grace in his movement, as well as carelessness, perfectly balancing the dance into an ideal mixture. A rare spark of envy kindled in your chest as you did your best to ignore the question of what it must feel like to be this free. During the poor attempt at moonwalking as he circled you, you could no longer hold back the laugh. Neil’s hands weaved through the air as he threw his head back to shout the hook along with the singer. With each call of Amadeus’ name, the affection in your chest grew, becoming increasingly lethal. A show of that kind displayed not only his trust but also what kind of a man Neil could be if he got rid of his shyness and inhibitions. It was something you doubt you could ever forget.

And that could be a problem.

When the song drew to a close, and Neil’s heaving breaths alerted you that he was probably worn out with exertion, he stopped. The reverberating beats sunk into the background as you met his gaze, aware of the silly softness you could not eradicate from your eyes. Neil looked manic, his pupils dilated and irises sparkling. He was breathing hard, the exhaustion making him shrug off the jean jacket with impatience, so far that Neil did not bat an eyelid when the article landed on the dirty floor. The reveal of an old, worn-out t-shirt underneath that hugged his broad shoulders and biceps just right made your jaw fall slack.

That, too, could be a problem.

Despite the common sense screaming at you to look away, you stared on, aware of Neil gazing right back. A wiser person would have shaken awake in time to switch off the music and call this quits before any further damage could be done. But you were never the wiser person.

You looked on as the song switched into a different era of music, and gentle, cheesy chords of piano and percussion filled the platform with a ballad almost everyone knew. Neil was not any different. You noticed the change in his eyes, switching from playfulness to mild seriousness. As if he, too, knew your fates were being decided at that exact moment.

However, the results of those decisions would not be noticeable until much later.

Using Elvis’ crooning as a backup to help drown your thoughts, you reached out your hand towards Neil, repeating the invitation. It was up to him whether he wanted to take it. Just like everything else in your friendship. The eager hope was hard to nip in the bud. It itched and ached until you could hardly stand still, awaiting the sentencing for what felt like hours. At last, Neil closed the gap and took your proffered hand with an impassive look.

The second time bore all the experience of the first, making it easier to fall in place without hesitation. Neil clasped your hand in his and let his other arm wind around your waist, pulling you close. Much closer than before. Your hand found its way to his shoulder, curious fingers stroking the expanse of his neck, revealed by the t-shirt collar. You did your best not to notice the goosebumps rising on his skin. It was impossible to tell which of you moved first, leading into the gentle sway. Only once you started waltzing around the empty platform, it was impossible to stop.

‘Would it be a sin

If I can't help falling in love with you?’

Halfway through the song, you tilted your head back from where your gaze had been trained on the expanse of his chest and met Neil’s waiting gaze. The shock passing through your system felt like a fatal blow. There was no denying the fact that this was a first. The first time you had ever danced like that with someone, motivated by nothing else but the desire to do it. There was also no denying the fact Neil’s watchful eyes and the soft strokes of his fingers, running along the expanse of your waist down to your hip, felt like nothing else you could have ever experienced before or after. It was well past your usual flirty chats and casual innuendos. Well past the daily playfulness of whatever it was blooming between you. It was well past the worn-out tracks and lived-in spaces.

Absolutely fucking terrifying.

‘Take my hand,

Take my whole life, too

For I can't help falling in love with you

For I can't help falling in love with you’

It was impossible to say what had tipped the scales right then. Whether it was the song lyrics, drawing attention to all those things you would rather ignore till the end of time or the unwavering eye contact you had maintained as you spun across the space with grace that had not been there previously. Or whether it was due to how Neil held you steadily, all the while allowing himself to stare, eyes roaming over your face in a meticulous study. But perhaps it was just a trick of fate, a sudden loss of reason and logic that made you tip forward and give in to the gravitational pull of his orbit. Perhaps Neil was guilty of the same thing.

Before you knew what had failed and why, you were close enough to feel the gasp of his breath fan across your face. The air ghosted your lips as your nose brushed against Neil’s, and the time slowed to a crawling speed. There was no denying the fact that you wanted it. The want hummed underneath your skin and made it hard to think clearly.

You only knew that Neil closed his eyes, and his sharp intake of breath hit your lips, making you tilt forward. Making it oh so easy to let go and-

“This is Piccadilly Line service towards the Heathrow Airport,” the PA system crackled to life, forcing you to separate as if burned.

You blinked awake, barely noticing the train slowing at the platform and the music still playing from your speaker. One glance at Neil told you all feelings were very much mutual. It was a close call. So close you could almost feel the kiss that never happened. An uncertain smile played upon your lips as you turned off the music and jumped aboard the train. You could only hope the King of the Rock’N’Roll himself was wrong about this one.

***

It was a well-known truth that a pretty boy could make you a little stupid. Stupid enough to do things that, under normal circumstances, would be off the table. But all it took was a flash of blue eyes and a charming smile, and boom, logic gone, reason decimated. Usually, there was a price to pay for that.

But the potential costs meant nothing in the face of the revelations the Saturday night brought. Namely, the kiss that never happened but you could easily dream of. Which you did, just to brighten up the restless sleep. Needless to say, that night unlocked some things. Things that perhaps were best left untouched. But hindsight was a gift you did not yet possess.

Instead, you battled with a single idea that was difficult to eradicate. Sure, that night, or how it had almost ended, was never mentioned again. As early as the next day Neil reached out to you and set the tone you were happy to follow. But the memory remained, nagging at your brain for a week and not once letting go. It was a seed that planted another thought. The thought that nothing was preventing you from reaching out for more. That there was no script to follow with Neil. That idea was like a brainworm making a home inside your skull.

Because, yes, you were known to be a little stupid for attractive boys. And Neil was potentially the most beautiful man you have ever met. That proved to be a problem.

Exactly a week after that Saturday, you caved in. The autumn breeze was hitting your face and tangling your hair as you stared at the Thames. There was no better place to start a catastrophic chain of events than the Blackfriars Bridge. Or so you told yourself. You took out the phone to stare at the messages and opened the text conversation with Neil. It took an additional fortifying breath to start typing out the proposition and start the exchange.

/ 🏹, 5:39 pm/ So, I figured, since we already broke the rules on our hangouts last Saturday

/ 🏹, 5:40 pm/ Would you like to grab coffee tomorrow?

/✝️, 5:45 pm/ That’s unexpected.

/✝️, 5:45 pm/ Why the sudden change of heart?

/ 🏹, 5:46 pm/ I liked your moves.

/✝️, 5:47 pm/ I’m pretty sure no one’s ever said that to me.

/ 🏹, 5:49 pm/ Maybe they just weren’t looking. I knew I was.

/✝️, 5:51 pm/ Okay, yeah. I’d like that.

/✝️, 5:52 pm/ Any labels I should be aware of?

/ 🏹, 5:52 pm/ Nah, fuck the labels.

/ 🏹, 5:53 pm/ Unless you want to bring me flowers. Then let’s call it a date.

/✝️, 5:55 pm/ Then it’s a date 😘

You stared at the phone long after the screen went dark. Along with the buzzing joy and anticipation of what tomorrow would bring, there was also an eternal question. The question you had avoided pretty damn well so far. What the fuck have you done?

***

By the time you were meeting Neil in a café (chosen because of its perfect location between St. John’s Wood and Swiss Cottage), those nerves of anticipation had transformed into anxiety. The worst was that you did not even know what you were so nervous about. A date (that was not really a date) was nothing new. You have done it many times before, usually to great results. But suddenly, when Neil was inserted into the equation, all that you got was uncertainty. And a strong fear of fucking it up. It did not make for a good mix.

Part of it dissipated once you turned the street corner and saw him waiting in front of the café, a bouquet in hand, despite your line being nothing more than a throwaway joke. An affectionate smile was impossible to get rid of no matter how hard you may have tried. It stayed as you closed the remaining distance and met Neil’s gaze. Then it got transformed into a stupid grin as your eyes scanned him head to toe (hair just as messy as always, leather and jeans completed with sneakers – in other words: fucking hot). Once that foolery was complete, you could shift your attention to the flowers, now held out in your direction like a sheepish offering.

It was a colourful bouquet of wildflowers, freshly bloomed and coming from a florist rather than Sainsbury’s. The thoughtfulness was enough to make you blush. Before you could delve into an embarrassing attempt at cover-up, Neil broke the silence:

“You haven’t specified what kind of flowers,” his shyness was easily seen from the fidgeting hands and eyes unwilling to stay on your face longer than necessary.

That was your cue to get yourself together and accept the bouquet with a courtesy. That, too, was just a trick to drag that shy smile onto his face. It worked.

“Those are perfect, thank you,” with another smile, you turned towards the entrance and went in as Neil held the door. It was a cosy café with only a few tables and a bar-service ordering. You motioned towards the smiling server behind the counter with a question, “Wanna go order coffee?”

You did not expect in response to your innocent ask for Neil to come to a strange stand-still in the middle of the entryway and measure you with a look that spoke volumes about him having something to say and no way of expressing it. You raised your eyebrow, urging the words to come out and save you from death by perplexation.

After a beat, Neil seemingly found the ability to speak again and stumbled through a sentence:

“I’ve got… uh… a thing,” the emphasis on the final word was accompanied by an awkward shift, his hand automatically reaching up to comb through his hair and messing it up even more.

That did not help. At all. You blinked, aware of the comedy role you had just been awarded without warning. You were vaguely conscious of the server’s gaze, undoubtedly staring at the spectacle presented with fascination.

“Jesus, what thing?” when Neil did not elaborate, you prodded with another question, gaining a slightly hysterical edge.

It was probably that tone which made the most impact. Neil seemed to wake up, his hands gesturing as he attempted to explain:

“A thing about figuring out people’s drink order,” he shrugged, almost as if already embarrassed by ever bringing it up; that would not do, “Like a-”

“A kink?” you interrupted his explanation with a devilish grin, knowing that it would do the job.

That and the teasing, of course.

The reaction was instantaneous. Where previously there had been mild shyness and uncertainty, the furious blush had bloomed. Neil looked horrified as he took a step in your direction as if considering sealing your mouth shut before finally admitting defeat. What you got instead was a glare and an affronted reply:

“What? No! More like talent, I guess,” Neil shrugged, visibly battling the dilemma you were not privy to. You decided to help him the best way you knew how – by reaching out and squeezing his hand. Once. Just once. It was enough to do the job and make your fingers itch with an inexplicable desire to prolong the contact. Luckily, it disappeared when Neil recovered from his internal crisis and gestured towards the counter, “May I?”

You could only nod, happy that whatever had just transpired was past you. Not that it was not fun, but because of the audience that did not deserve to see what had happened. Whatever it was.

“You’ve got me intrigued, so now you have to,” shrugging upon Neil’s hesitant smile, you ventured inside the café, scouting for a perfect table.

Soon enough, the ideal booth had been located and taken as you awaited Neil’s return. You did not have to wait long, for as soon as you settled and placed your coat on the backrest, he sat in the chair in front. That sheepish smile was still in place, so you tried to bring back his confidence with dumb chitchat until you were interrupted by the server approaching your table. It worked. As you both fell quiet, Neil was visibly fighting a grin threatening to transform his face. The pride surged in your veins without respect towards your sense of humility.

The woman shot you both a bright smile as she set neared the table and put a steaming porcelain cup in front of Neil:

“Flat White for you, sir, and for your girlfriend-” you never got to hear the end of that sentence as Neil’s horrified expression and a loud interruption stole your attention.

“Oh, we’re not-” your laughter was almost enough to drown out his protest.

Almost because the server still looked extremely apologetic as she placed a larger cup in front of you with a clink.

“-Caramel Macchiato,” you waved off the atonement she seemed ready to launch and smiled, the curiosity at his choice already occupying your mind.

“Thank you,” as soon as the woman was out of earshot, you turned your cheeky smile onto Neil and covered his hand resting on the table with your palm, “Are you ashamed of me, my darling?” your favourite blush spread upon his cheeks, widening your grin in the process.

A blunder like that was not something you would ever lose sleep over. Even less so, considering that you were there with Neil. Even with your deep-rooted dislike over anything that had to do with relationships and the complications they lead to, you could not possibly be angry over being perceived as belonging to Neil. If anything, it was flattering.

“Stop it,” he shook off your hand, way too gently, and shook his head as if desperate to clear it, “I just didn’t-” after a beat, he dropped your gaze, giving up the fight, “It doesn’t matter, sorry” although you would do anything to understand the thought processes unfolding behind those slightly vacant blue eyes, you were not given a chance. Instead, he took a fortifying sip of coffee and looked at your cup, (not so) swiftly changing the topic “So… how did I do?” the anticipation in that gaze offered no space for a bargain.

You glanced at the beverage in front of you and slowly raised it to get a tentative taste. The warm liquid slightly burned your tongue, but before you could mourn the damage, the caffeine and creamy caramel filled your mouth with pleasurable goodness. It was a top-notch choice, making you follow that first sip with another almost without a break. Burned tongue be damned.

“Very good, actually,” raising your head, you met Neil’s proud smile. It was a much better look than the embarrassed expression from earlier, motivating you to add, “Maybe you should try getting into BGT with that talent,” you winked at him, even if to prolong the blush, which had begun to fade.

But also because it was fun to compliment him, considering that you meant every word and because of your suspicions that Neil did not get them often. That alone was a travesty, in your opinion.

“Very funny,” rolling his eyes at you with a happy smile tucked in the corner of his lips, Neil looked even better.

It was easy enough a conclusion that lightness and happiness were a good look on him. Especially when you were the cause. You tried not to let that go into your head, but… Well.

“I know,” you matched his smile with a smirk of your own, “Hysterical,” with the perfect pause to take another sip of the glorious coffee, you shifted the topic, “How was the week at the clergy?”

Without Neil’s continuous amused reactions to the same old joke, you would have dropped it by now. But how could you if it still got a laugh out of him each time? You couldn’t let opportunities like that slip by. No chance.

This time, Neil hid the joyous huff of laughter in the coffee cup as he pondered the answer.

“It’s been good. Fine,” a noncommittal shrug offered no room for guessing what it was that he did, which was still a mystery, but you counted wins where you could find them, “A bit busy, but what can you do. I might have a work trip coming up soon, so…” it was only when the second part of his reply was processed by your brain, currently preoccupied with staring at Neil’s mouth (which was a very normal state of mind to have), that you perked up.

That was important information. For two contrasting reasons. One was that whatever Neil did for work involved work trips, and that narrowed down the field, albeit barely. Two was that it would mean he would not be around every Wednesday, ready to meet you. That second deduction took hold of your heart with the icy grasp of disappointment.

“So, no more Wednesday meetups?” it was impossible to keep the sadness out of your tone as you settled a wary gaze on Neil.

Sure, it was survivable. But where would be the fun in it?

It was not fun to see that same apprehension creep into Neil’s eyes.

“Yeah, but only like… for a few weeks,” from his sudden dislike of eye contact, you guessed that the estimation might have been an understatement. Though you did hope he was not lying. The pitiful look must have been still present on your face, for Neil followed the statement with reassurance, “I’m sure you’ll survive without me,” he hesitated for a millisecond before returning your previous gesture and giving your hand a comforting pat.

You did not move it away, the pleasant warmth and weight of his palm seeping through your skin and soothing the sudden spell of sadness. It was difficult not to let that inexplicable feeling lead you into the deep end as it was not something you understood. It settled in the darkest cavern of your heart and accompanied its beat with its foreboding presence. There was no choice but to push past it.

“I don’t know, I’m going to miss you,” the confession felt dangerously light on your tongue as you registered Neil’s reaction. His beautiful eyes widened almost imperceptibly, and he quickly dropped your gaze, choosing to stare at the table instead. The only sign that you were heard was how his thumb stroked your hand repeatedly, “I hope you’ll be back before the premiere,” using the only way you knew of lightening the conversation, you made sure to slip in a playful tone.

Ever since the day you had shared joyous news with Neil, he often asked about the preparations for the ballet. He seemed genuinely interested in the process, the rehearsals, and your impressions at every stage.

When you innocently hinted at a costume fitting in your texts Neil immediately asked for a picture. You complied, gleefully posing in the dressing room mirror wearing the whole get-up, complete with pointe shoes, tights, and a white ballet tutu with the accents of blue flower petals. All in all, you had the right to believe that Neil would be interested in coming to see the ballet when it premiered. You had that covered.

“I’ll do my best,” his hopeful smile was enough to distract you, for soon Neil followed it with a question, “Do I get an invite?”

The cheeky smile was back in full force, almost wiping you off the surface of the Earth. More of that, please. Feeling brave, you slowly tangled your fingers with his to raise your joined hands from the tabletop and squeezed his palm. It was a silly question to ask. You had to make sure Neil knew that.

“Well, duh,” you started with an eye roll, taking pleasure from the feel of his hand holding yours, “I’m going to need a personal cheerleader for when I fail big time,” it was a rare thing to hear you admit the fear and anxieties out loud.

Most of the time, they only existed in your mind, never expressed. And especially not in a conversation because that fear of someone else confirming all you feared was overwhelming. It was better to appear invincible to the world than to let them know your weaknesses. Somehow this logic did not want to apply itself to Neil. No, he has heard it all. And yet, he did not seem keen on confirming you were right to doubt yourself.

“That’s not going to happen. You’ll be the perfect Cupid,” punctuating the encouragement with a squeeze of the hand, Neil shot you a brilliant grin.

The nickname was growing on you. It was also the cause of a few silly smiles during the rehearsals when you were addressed with your character role. That was alright, too.

Now, with the force of his beautiful smile shining upon you like a rare beacon of hope, you tried your hardest not to let the praise consume you whole. Instead, you turned to the faithful vice of sarcasm as you let go of his hand and settled your chin on your folded palms. Eyelashes and doe eyes in full force. Naturally.

“Wow, my charms must be working if you’re this blindsided,” curling the corner of your mouth in a smirk, your eyes roamed over his face in familiar patterns.

It was refreshing to remember why you invited him out in the first place. Why you have decided to break the unwritten role and step on the line you both had been tiptoeing from day one. Why nothing was holding you back from reaching for what you wanted.

This time, Neil did not turn away from your taxing gaze and met it head-on. Almost as if permitting you to proceed with whatever you desired.

“You’ve no idea, sweetheart,” mirroring your tentative smirk, Neil offered you a wink and picked up the coffee cup.

You were certainly not going to eschew a chance like that.

***

As far as first dates (could he even call it that?) went, meeting up for coffee and letting the conversations run without a disaster somewhere in between was rare. Even rarer still considering that Neil did not know how he got to this point and whether it was not all a dream. The jury was out on that. Even though Sunday was now two days ago, the meeting was still fresh in his mind, posing a thousand questions.

Because he really did not know how he got that place. The only certainty was that sometime between the surprising Saturday night meeting at Leicester Square station and the day after, Cupid made up her mind and chose to strike. Alternatively, she decided to act considering the realisations he was not privy to. Sure, that night at the station almost ended with a kiss. He knew that. He was there. But it did not offer answers as towards why an almost kiss made her behave in contrast to what Neil thought he understood about her.

Because a date was definitely a step above flirting. And it was hard to understand what that meant. If anything at all.

Now, on a rainy Tuesday afternoon, Neil stared out the window of the HQ cafeteria and tried his hardest not to think about it (her) for a change. It was not going well, as one could expect. From the corner of his eye, he could tell Ives was staring. Those piercing blue eyes (bluer than his, which has once or twice been proved during a night out as those things usually are) have been glancing his way instead of focusing on the sandwich on his plate. What a prick (affectionate). After what felt like a fiftieth glance, Neil dropped the napkin onto his place with force and turned towards Ives with a glare. The patience has worn out.

“Oh, just spit it out,” Neil hissed the words with ire.

The grin spreading upon Ives’ lips did not help a bit. The soldier leaned forward, abandoning his food and setting the perceptive eyes upon his friend. Mercilessly. With years of friendship, Neil knew this was not ending well.

“I haven’t said a word,” the man shrugged; a picture-perfect nonchalance.

If only.

“But you’ve been staring,” Neil’s attempt at covering up the tension with a bored tone failed.

He knew that as soon as he saw Ives’ unimpressed smile. There were no doubts about where this conversation was heading. It was the interrogation Neil had feared from day one. It was only a matter of time. Damn it.

“Go ask Henrik. Maybe he can help you gauge my eyes,” in moments like this, Ives’ cockney accent came out in full force, tearing at the shreds of patience Neil seemed to have.

Despite himself, he cracked a smile at the comeback.

“Doubtful,” quickly hiding it in the sip of tea, Neil muttered a quip of his own.

While Henrik, the team’s medic, was a peculiar man, it was improbable he would be into that kind of thing. Unfortunately.

“Eh, I wouldn’t put it past him,” before he could hope this was the end of the conversation, Ives levelled him with another no-bullshit look and delivered the sentence in four simple words, “Mate, spit it out,”

If only it were that easy. For one, Neil did not even know what there was to tell. Sure, he has met a girl. He was probably thinking too much about said girl daily. But that was it. The end of the story. Pathetic, as per usual.

“I’d rather not,” as the last resort of keeping his dignity intact, Neil averted his gaze and fixed his stare on the dirty floor of the cantina.

A solitary potato chip was lying there, attracting attention. For one, maddening second, his brain tried to concoct an elaborate metaphor in which he was like that lonely, forgotten chip on the ground.

Thankfully, the idea was soon dispersed by his irreplicable companion and his booming voice, cutting through the idiotic thoughts:

“I beg to differ,” the hint of reassurance in Ives’ voice was responsible for luring Neil into listening, just as the soldier delivered the question, “What’s her name? His name? Their name?”

Admittedly, the inclusive way of asking was a nice touch from someone who frequently lacked decorum. Or, more accurately, did not bother with it. It was that addition that made Neil crack, with the final resolve crumbling as he tried to protest:

“There’s no- Cupid,” giving out a tired sigh, Neil finally raised his head and repeated the nickname with something ridiculously close to the softness of affection, “I call her Cupid,”

It made no sense. He knew that. But it did not help that whenever he thought of her, that stupid, embarrassing part of his heart was roused awake from periodical slumber. So much for being reasonable.

As soon as Ives whistled lowly and that familiar sardonic grin appeared on his face, Neil knew it was a mistake.

“Kinky,” his murderous glare got ignored in favour of another pressing question, “Who’s the lucky lady?”

Lucky was definitely an overstatement if you asked Neil. But he did not fancy getting into the specifics of the relationships yet. Instead, he happily let himself delve back into memories of that first meeting. He still could not find other apt ways to describe it than a strike of fate. Dramatic? Sure, that was his second name.

He did doubt that Ives would appreciate the insane poetic ruminations, however.

“I’ve met her at the Tube, and she’s a ballerina… Pretty fucking cool, at that” that was a non-negotiable fact. Period.

Yet from the way his friend stared at him, Neil could easily deduct that here, too, he sounded like the insane idiot that he was. An idiot that finds friends on the Tube and lets that develop into something else. Something he tried very hard not to define. It was going splendidly well. Of course.

“Uh oh,” as if reading his mind, Ives, the prick, pasted on a silly grin and bated his eyelashes down at him, continuing the interrogation, “Is that a crush I’m sensing?”

Fuck. That was, indeed, a mistake.

Not that there was a crush because there absolutely wasn’t anything of that sort. Idiot, he might have been, but not… No. No. Which is exactly why Neil had to pause to cover his face with his hands and let out a deep sigh. Conveniently ignoring Ives and his bullshit assumptions.

Only once he felt like the annoyance had simmered to an acceptable white noise, Neil dropped the hands covering his face and met his destiny in the form of an infuriating sardonic smile.

“No, she’s just… I’m fascinated, okay? I’ve never met anyone like her before, and we’ve got a good thing going with weekly chats and… stuff,” running out of steam, Neil let the last word trail off into silence.

He knew what it all sounded like. He did. Except that there was no better way of describing it (them) to the outside world. And he was certainly not keen on showing Ives the texts. Not after the last conversation this morning, which involved more innuendos and another rendition of What socks are you wearing? - his favourite game. Truly. What made the exchange more incriminating, however, was the fact that Cupid’s current socks brandished an image of an adorable pug with a caption: “Send dog pics”. Yeah, that. That was a theme he was so far happy to ignore. Kind of.

“Did you kiss her yet?” another ridiculous question acted like a wake-up call as Neil felt the loathed, crimson blush fill his cheeks.

“What is this? Middle school?” another outburst got met with a stoically blank face, not helping to ease the shame of being so goddamn transparent “No, I didn’t,” I wish, “We danced” offering the alternative lowkey felt like self-sacrifice.

Not because Neil was embarrassed of what had happened that Saturday night but because it stayed a secret to anyone who was not him or Cupid. At least, that is what she told him, much to inexplicable surprise, which he could not and would not try to understand.

“I never knew you dance,” the soldier’s remark, as always, missed the mark.

Annoyance at the whole world, at this rate, rose at a steady pace. Perhaps it would have been more accurate to say that Neil was frustrated at the circumstances of the relationship with the woman in question, but it was too soon for self-realisation to do its work.

“Of course, I do,” instead, it was the distant feel of pity that nagged at the edges of his soul as Neil allowed the dismissive reflection to be voiced without the veil of fake pep, “Anyway, none of it matters. She’s not into relationships, so…” he shrugged, aware of the pitiful picture.

In a way, it was easier to know that about her ahead of time. It was perfect information to push at his brain and heart whenever they got too comfortable with the situation. To remind them (and himself) that it was not going anywhere, and it never would.

But, for some infuriating reason, the heart tended to be a stubborn beast holding no regard for facts. Not that heart had anything to do with this just yet. Of course not. Neil just… liked her. As a human being likes another human being. Platonically.

“Surely, your roguish charm will convince her otherwise,” as expected, Ives looked as if he was trying very hard not to feel sorry for him and was failing.

The reassurance hardly worked if Neil was being honest. The existence of said roguish charm was highly debatable. But who was he to argue?

“Nah, it’s fine. I can be just friends with her” manifesting much, or whatever. It was a blessing to have a different topic to switch to, “Anyway, I’m not going to see her for the next couple of weeks since we’re leaving,” another attempt at a nonchalant shrug got lost in the heaviness Neil could not shake off if he tried.

Going off on a mission right now, in the middle of it all, was far from ideal. Neil liked his job, loved it even, but then, some operations felt like a drag from the moment they appeared on his desk. That was one of them.

“Yeah, Lisbon is on,” from the tiredness written all over Ives’ face, Neil could tell the lack of enthusiasm was shared, “Two weeks, but it might be longer,”

“Great,” sarcasm dripped from the word as Neil glanced at his friend and asked, “We’re going to bunk together?”

It was only half a joke. Because only the company made the perspective of that mission seem a little less daunting.

“You wish, love,” the answering grin on Ives’ face was the perfect punchline to the dramatic conversation. The soldier got up from the table with another quip, “You know I’m not into blondes,” he walked away without another glance, yet the laugh he elicited from Neil could be heard in the room above the cantina.

[forcebookish]

I'm sorry but the crazy hate for top doesn't even make sense at this point. like even in comparison to some other characters he isn't as bad yet they all get treated like innocent meow meows and he gets villanized. repeatedly drunk driving and putting innocent lives in danger? my poor baby :( manipulating a whole scheme to get back at a guy you hate with no concern for how it will destroy others? king behavior! (And tbh no hate to sand I respect what he did lol but there's no need to lie about what it was). recording people having sex and commiting numerous other crimes? he's just in love :/ and I don't even need to get into how Boston can do all the sick shit he does and still be called a "bad bitch." Is top a flawed character with MANY issues he needs to work on? yes absolutely but if you're gonna call him the scum of the universe you sure better do it for all the other characters too is all I'm saying.

anon, you're absolutely right!

although, i don't respect what sand did - i just love him for it lol that man is insane 🤣 he finally did something interesting to me🫢 and the fact that he did it, knowing how much it would hurt ray in the process? just the rotten cherry on top of the shit sundae he served that friend group. now that is messy. and at least he seems to actually understand the gravity of how fucked up what he did was once he saw the consequences, unlike boston😒 who really had the gall to say that he "let" topmew have their happily ever after, after he had tried to sleep with top again and continued to lie to him about mew and ray - only leaving top alone because top finally stood up for himself, pushed him away, and shamed him about it.

the point is that all these characters are flawed; they'd be boring otherwise. that's the case in literally all storytelling. does BL fandom think that all their faves in other series are perfect? no one is perfect.

however, top's flaws are what make him perfect to me. he's a well-crafted character who is fun to watch. plus, if you make a list of all his "sins" and "faults," he doesn't compare even slightly to these other characters. besides mew (uh, at least before ep6 lol), he's literally the least messy of them all - he's just a mean girl, who slept with someone else because the objectively worst of them tricked him through some of the nastiest, most underhanded means i have ever seen. all his other negatives aren't even unique to him - in fact, he seems to be the only one of the boys (besides mew) who doesn't do anything nasty unprovoked. we've seen in literally every episode what he said here is true:

and even when ray "messed with" top by telling him he wanted to give whoever punched him in the face a trophy (because *checks notes* top was irritated that ray raised his voice about mew not wanting to leave the party. and that he's dating mew... that's it lmao ray was rude just from top hitting on mew. he didn't even know him yet! what kind of "if i can't have him no one can" kinda bullshit is that? wtf ray, grow up! ), top just stared at him sadly - and that was when he still thought that ray was sleeping with mew.

every (idk, i might be missing a couple) other "flaw" of top's could be used to describe other characters in the group:

"smug" because he's hot and rich (ray)

"smug" because he's "good at sex" (boston)

promiscuous (boston)

drug user (ray)

lying/not telling mew about sleeping with boston (boston and nick)

"betrayed" mew by sleeping with someone else (boston)

not mentioning that someone kissed him without consent (mew)

punches someone in the face (sand, ray, boston, and mew lol)

he "stole" (tbh i'm not convinced) someone's lover (boston)

and guess what? he's stopped doing all of those things. (i'll concede this: he might get in another fight later. i hope not, i'm a little over all the punching soz mew can have his attempted drowning of boston tho, i won't complain about that.) (and he's definitely going to relapse and take mew's pills, probably in the next episode. but at least he's stopped before then - i haven't seen any evidence that ray has ever tried to get sober.) can't say the same for the other characters.

meanwhile, negative things he hasn't done that others have:

violated consent (boston and ray)

instigated a physical fight (sand and ray)

insisted that the person he was seeing was "just a friend" (ray and boston)

recorded someone without their consent (nick and boston)

made fun of mew for being a virgin (boston)

smashed his own phone into pieces so he could steal a sex tape (sand omg i really cannot get over how truly insane that was)

hit the person he's sleeping with (boston and ray)

drove while drunk/high (ray)

got high and sent his best friend a sex tape of his boyfriend with their other friend ON HIS BIRTHDAY, AT THE BIRTHDAY PARTY WHERE BOTH OF THEM WERE (ray lol also can't get over that one. and everyone saying he did it with "good intentions" like nah just because he knew that mew wouldn't fall in love with him over it, doesn't mean that he didn't do it out of revenge against boston and top - even if he thought he was avenging mew. ON HIS BIRTHDAY, BITCH. maybe he convinced himself he was doing the right thing, but he did it because he was angry and high.)

exposed his friend's darkest secrets about their love lives to their partners, only to hurt them because he's miserable (boston and ray)

and i don't think top would. (maybe the driving while drunk/high but based on the kind of drugs he likes, i don't think he'd be able to, like, stand let alone get in a car lol but we'll see.)

and by compiling this list, i don't mean to say that all these characters are evil, except boston, and by his own admission lol,

or that they're bad characters, just that the hate top gets is ridiculous and disproportionate. i'm not even saying that you have to like him, just don't exaggerate his faults or blame him for all the shit boston did to him. oh, you hate him based on "vibes?" don't act like it's not because he's played by force and you don't care about forcebook. it's not subtle😒 we can see your clown shoes😒

and this isn't really directed at you, anon, i know you mean well, but i am really tired of the fact that top fans seem to be the only ones who feel the need to say stuff like "he's flawed" and "he has issues," when every single fucking character is and does. why do we have to be defensive? we don't. he's a good character, and not even a bad person lol

i fucking love him, no caveats. i love everything about him.

AND ANOTHER THING lol i should just shut up but this is really bothering me: i am SO annoyed by these "huh i guess top does love mew" and "huh i wonder if top has some sexual trauma" posts LIKE REALLY??? REALLY???????? NOW YOU THINK SO?? FUCK OFF. like on one hand, yeah thanks for fucking FINALLY coming around but he's only acted like and said he liked mew LITERALLY EVERY EPISODE and only slept with boston because he was CORNERED and BECAUSE HE LIKED MEW AND FELT BETRAYED BY HIM LIKe JFOWJIWHGIOWJSFKL RAAAAAAAAH ok i'm done

so glad you dropped by, anon, clearly i needed to get some stuff off my chest 😅

[foxydivaxx]

Gossip Girl Bad Romance Chapter 8

Here it is, the latest chapter. Will give a bit of insight into Zoro’s past. May write a prequel that focuses on Zoro and his younger years and explain the whole Griffith thing in detail and also his relationship with Sukuna as well. Happy birthday in advance Sanji. Trigger warning: mentions of abuse, eating disorders.

Hello Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here.And boy do I got some hot tea to spill this week!! We have finally gotten a much-awaited public sighting of S and Z together. And about time too. Besides the constant social media updates they have been putting out, well mostly Z, the Royal Couple were recently spotted at a club alongside some of their friends except E and SU as SU has flown E out of the country of course no thanks to the emotional stress the guy has been under thanks to the funeral of his family.

For those who are unaware, E chose to do the burial privately. Hope he is alright. At least SU will hopefully cheer the guy up.

Back to the Royal couple, a certain ex of Z's happened to be at the club that night. Word on the streets has it that the guy got out of his rehab program prematurely and came back to town. Odd considering his family no longer stays on the Upper East Side anymore no thanks to the scandal he caused.

Why has he returned? Probably to get back at S for standing up for Z back then when he tried to destroy the King. Now he wants revenge. We will have to see how that goes because one thing I know is that anyone who dares to cross Z is gonna pay dearly for it eventually. He is called the Demon King for a reason.

As for this club night, the couple did what no one had ever seen them do in the club. Yes, you guessed it, they made out and got all hot and heavy in there. Yes, they literally went there. You should have seen the look on Fuckboy's face when he saw his ex and his current beau do the do in his presence. Could this be all part of some plan that Z concocted in mind? One thing is for certain, King Z is done playing games here and we can clearly see that. Ironically, S’s birthday is this week as well so it must be an early celebration.

Either way, things have gotten heated up and are about to get explosive here. Oooh....can't wait!! Keep it coming boys!!

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

************************************************************************

Zoro sighs as he glances over at the sleeping form of his lover. Being the King of the Upper East Side has its perks but that title comes with its fair share of hurdles and some sacrifices and drama.

He often does not say much but he actually does feel insecure at times. The downside about being famous at a young age is the loneliness you would feel as everyone suddenly puts you on a higher pedestal.

Everyone wants to be your friend once you become popular and most people do not care about you and only want the money.

This is the reason why he is glad that he and Sanji found each other because that is the only other person that could understand that pain and burden. Sure, they started off with the sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship but the truth is, they were both so young back then.

Neither one of them was ready to fully commit to a proper relationship as they had just both gotten out of traumatic toxic ones and had not fully healed. It was the media that forced them to turn it into a serious thing, a true blessing in disguise.

Looking back at his life, he never truly had it easy. His father, a famous action legend and a deadbeat back in the day with addiction problems, his mother Hollywood royalty with a few loose screws herself and deep addiction issues who took out her pain and anger on him since he was the only child she gave to his dad, the other siblings coming from his dad’s previous marriage.

Yes, he was born into one of the greatest Hollywood dynasties but there is a curse attached to that. Almost every generation suffers some sort of tragedy or trauma.

He began his career when he was 3 and that was the most traumatic time of his life. Other kids looked down on him and bullied him because of his immigrant background and would often say racist disgusting things to him.

Ironically, Griffith did the exact same shit to him when they started their relationship. This is in stark contrast to Sanji who goes off all the racist bitches every single time.

Speaking of Griffith, that bastard took advantage of his trauma and naivety and manipulated him into becoming the wolf child that he was back then. Most people do not know this but the reason he helped Sanji with his case against the Charlottes and his father is because of his own trauma with Griffith years ago.

He was just 13 then and Griffith was 19. He lied to cover up for Griffith as the bastard blackmailed him and took advantage of him because truth be told, he was not perfectly sane then. He was a totally wild party boy at the time. It is kind of understandable why Sukuna acts the way he does now. He pushed him away after the guy warned him about Griffith.

It was when they both got arrested that Zoro began to realize how terrible his actions were. He is slowly healing and getting better. He is not quite there yet. There are days when he is all alone and he just breaks down in tears. Now he has to face his past. Truth be told, he is not yet ready emotionally.

He gently runs his hand through those soft blonde licks, musing over how happy he is to have found the love of his life. This same Sanji saved him from Griffith after the bastard showed up last year and almost killed him by poisoning his drink with some arsenic.

The blonde slowly stirs as he finally wakes up from his slumber. “Wait…why are you not sleeping?” he asks with a yawn.

Zoro sighs. “Don’t mind me. Just deep in thought.” It was at that moment that Sanji sits up. “Still thinking about the Griffith thing?” The greenette nods.

The blonde cups his lover’s face with his hands and stares him in the eye. “That was not your fault Zoro. Please do not blame yourself. That bastard had no right to take advantage of you that way.”

The boy just nods and looks down. “Listen, you gave me an incredible gift, an awesome platform to use to share my truth with the world and that has helped me a lot. My love, you deserve the same thing.” Zoro just nods and hugs Sanji.

The tears he had been trying to surpress for years finally began to flow.”Zoro you have done enough for everyone. You need to start thinking about you now.”

Zoro let’s go and smiles. “You have a point. And I know just how to do it.”

At that moment the phone rings. “Hello.”

“Zoro we’ve got a problem!!”

“Wait? What problem sis? What happened?”

“Remember my friend Cathy?”

“Yeah I know her. Is she alright?”

“Cathy told me just now about a couple that came to her with some business proposal for the skincare line she wanted to launch only for those bastards to run off with the money.”

“What are their names?”

“Elena and Maxwell Gilbert.”

“Will run background checks on them.”

Sanji stares at him. “What happened?”

“Perona told me that her friend got scammed by some people.”

He immediately gets his laptop and gets straight to business. He freezes upon seeing the results. Sanji looks over his shoulder and gasps. “Wait…those are…”

“Griffith’s parents. I knew there was something off with that family.” He then began to check police reports. “That family is rich but they made their money through money laundering. That explains a lot.” He then begins to make some calls.

***********************************************************************

Meanwhile, Eren is seated on a swing in a park in Brussels as he stares up at the clouds above him. It was evening, about 7pm to be exact. He chose not to do a public funeral because he does not want excessive media coverage and given how the media tend to sensationalise things, it was for the best.

He was probably going to miss the Midsummer Ball but it is okay. He just needs to clear his head for a bit. The last time he came to Brussels was 3 years ago during Aogiri’s European tour.

He loves how peaceful and calm the town was so when Sukuna suggested that they left for a bit, he asked him to bring him here.

“You okay cupcake?” Sukuna asked as he sits in the swing next to him. Eren nods. “I guess so Papi.” Sukuna takes one of Eren’s hands. “You need to eat something. I don’t like how you keep refusing to eat.”

Ever since that tragedy, Eren has not been really eating and whenever he does, he ends up puking it in the toilet.

“Food can wait.”

“Eren have you forgotten that you nearly fainted at the funeral?! Your family if they were alive would like to see you like this!!”

Eren sighs. There was no winning with Sukuna. “Fine. I will eat something.” Sukuna smiles and helps him up. “Good. Now do not rush to the bathroom after that okay?!” Eren nods.

*********************************************************************

Back in Manhattan, Lelouch and Rukia are handling the arrangements for the Ball. “That disco ball looks sick.” he says, pointing at the disco ball that the decorations team were trying to assemble. “I just thought that a disco themed party would be awesome.” says Rukia.

“Been a while we have had one of those.”

Rukia then smiles at him. “Thanks for helping out.” Lelouch just shrugs. “Oh it’s nothing.”

“You know, we need to hang out more beyond all this sometime.” He grins. “I like the sound of that.”

Light and Natsu come in holding boxes. “Man these are heavy!!” says Light. “Are those the lighting equipment?”

Natsu nods. “That plus the sound.” Rukia then smirks. “This Ball is gonna be extra special because it is a surprise for a certain someone and I think y’all know who I am talking about.” The others exchange smirks.

************************************************************************

Griffith meanwhile is seething in rage. He did not expect Zoro and that tramp to be at the club that night and for them to literally be fucking each other that way.

He had been trying to contact his Allie’s but to no avail. It’s like they are busy or something which he finds strange considering their level in life.

It was then that his phone rings. He picks up the call without checking the caller ID. “About time someone fucking called.”

“Why hello Griffith.”

He immediately freezes. The very last man he expected to hear from. “Z-Zoro?”

“Been a long time hm? Heard you managed to weasel yourself in without anyone noticing.”

The blonde scoffs. “Oh come on. Have you forgotten the good old days we used to sneak into your dad’s place, steal dem car keys and hit town undetected?”

Zoro smirks. Sanji watches the whole thing cautiously. “Ah yes I do remember that and I also remember how you bashed the car and got into trouble afterwards.”

“Y-You are not calling me to reminisce about the good times.”

Zoro’s smirk becomes more devious. “I have some friends waiting for you outside. I believe they want to have a word with you.”

“Raise your hands up!!” Griffith had no choice but to raise his hands. The cops immediately handcuffed him. “You and your family have been evading the law for conning people for years. You also have an assault charge to answer to plus you escaped from the asylum you were placed in as part of your sentencing. This time, we shall not be that merciful.” With that, Griffith is led away.

Zoro heaves a sigh of relief. “Ah I am finally free.” he says with the biggest grin on his face. Sanji rushes over to give him a hug.

**********************************************************************

This past week has been pretty eventful Upper East Siders. Z’s ex finally got re-arrested. According to police reports, he escaped from the asylum he was placed in as part of his sentence.

As if that wasn’t enough, his parents got arrested for conning a wealthy socialite who so happens to be a friend of Z’s older half sister Perona who filed the report against them. There was mention of an assault case which I suspect could be related to Z as there were rumours that their relationship was not consensual at all and that Z was forced into that relationship by the guy because he wanted a piece of the pie, a stark contrast with S.

The upside is that Z now can be a free man without having to deal with that past demon of his anymore.Now if you excuse me, there is a party this weekend that I gotta prepare for.

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

*********************************************************************

“Oi Curly!! Hurry up!! We are gonna be late for the party!!” Zoro yells, checking the time on his watch. He may have a bad sense of direction at times but Sanji is worse in the sense that he is a drama King.

“I am coming!!” Seconds later, Sanji comes out wearing a bedazzled red suit. He chose not to wear a shit or tie this time around. Zoro wolf whistles. He chose to wear a dark green suit. “Well someone be looking smoky tonight!!” Sanji giggles and kisses Zoro on the cheek. “Alright let’s go.” Once Sanji was out of the room, Zoro grabs his phone and sneakily texts Rukia:

We are on the way

As soon as Rukia sees the text, she alerts the others. “Guys, they are on the way.” Lelouch then yells, “Everyone hide!!” The others rush to different parts of the hall whilst Light, Natsu and Grimmjow switch off the lights.

A couple minutes later, Zoro and Sanji arrive. “Huh w-“

“SURPRISE!!” The lights come on and everyone yells.

Sanji gasps in shock as he takes a good look at the room. Eren and Sukuna who were meant to be in Brussels suddenly decided to join them.

“Happy birthday my love.” Zoro says as he kisses Sanji in the cheek. “Wait a minute, how did you guys do this?!”

“Thank Rukia and Lelouch. It was their idea.” says Eren. “We noticed that you never truly had a big party so we figured that we gave you one.” says Rukia. Sanji smiles and hugs both Rukia and Lelouch. “Aww thanks guys.”

The party was in full swing with everyone partying the night away. Even Eren forgot his issues momentarily and joined the fun. Zoro could not help but grin. It was the little moments like this that make him happy. Forget the glamour, forget the fame and money. Moments like this are worth fighting for.

“Ah, that reminds me.” Zoro dashes off and returns with a large box. “My gift for you darling.” Sanji smiles. “Aww thanks.”

“Come on. Open it.” Sanji did not waste time and lifts up the box. He gasps as in the box are two cute little kittens, one brown and the other grey.

“Oh my God!! They are so cute!!” He gives Zoro a kiss on the lips. “Thank you for these babies.” The others watch and smile. Eren films the entire thing and posts it on Instagram and it almost immediately goes viral.

“Anything for you my love. Now what are we naming our babies?” Sanji stares at the kitties. “I will name the brown one Ginger and the grey one Milo.” The kitties purr and nuzzle their new mummy.

[e-m-p-error]

TAGS LIST

MAIN BLOG TAGS

Mr. Meek Speaks (OOC)

It's Best To Keep Me Pleased (Answered Asks)

They Call You Sexy And You Don't Care What They Say (Memes)

Perfectin' My Passion Thanks For Askin' (Headcanon Memes)

Live In Dog Years And I Feel Twenty-Six Yeah I'm Old Bitch But I Learn New Tricks (Munday Meme)

I’m Key Look At Me! (Self Promo)

What Do We Have Here? (Promo)

NSFW Tag - (NSFVoxtagram)

Queue Are 100% Fucked

ABOUT ➽➽➽ AESTHETIC ➽➽➽ CLOSET ➽➽➽ HEADCANONS ➽➽➽ IC POST ➽➽➽ INTERESTS ➽➽➽ MUSINGS ➽➽➽ PLAYLIST ➽➽➽ SHIPPIING ➽➽➽ VERSE ➽➽➽ VISAGE ➽➽➽

BLOG INFO ➽➽➽ BLOG MAINTENANCE ➽➽➽ DASH COMMENTARY ➽➽➽ DASH GAMES ➽➽➽ FEATURED MUSE ➽➽➽ ICON BY ➽➽➽ Hclluvahcll ICON BY ➽➽➽ Nebula-Icons ICON BY ➽➽➽ RPicons INBOX CALL ➽➽➽ MAGIC ANON ➽➽➽ MUSE LIST ➽➽➽ MY ART ➽➽➽ MY WRITING ➽➽➽ OPEN STARTER ➽➽➽ POLLS ➽➽➽ PSA ➽➽➽ SHIPPING CALL ➽➽➽ STARTER CALL ➽➽➽ TAGS LIST ➽➽➽ TO DO LIST ➽➽➽

CHARACTER TAGS

I Feel So Alive Right Now I Feel Like A God Right Now (αℓℓ мυѕєѕ)

Sweet Real Legend Persecute The Weak And Willing (αиgєℓѕ)

Go Ahead And Hate Me Hate Me Baby So So Salty But Sweet (fαикι∂ѕ)

I'm Not A Rich Kid Maybe That's A Good Thing Ain't Got Shit But I Got This Far (нєℓℓвσяи)

"Angel" He Calls Me Does He Know That I'm Falling From A Precipice That I Tripped Off Long Ago? (∂ємσи яσуαℓту)

I Have No Time For Confession For I'm Too Busy Committing Sins (ѕιииєяѕ)

ANGEL TAGS

Whatever People Tell Me That The Bible Tells Me I Will Do (αвѕтємισυиєѕѕα)

Reciting Violence Like Poetry (α∂αм)

I've Found A Rainbow A Rainbow Baby Trust Me I Know Life Is Scary (ємιℓу)

Do You Mistake Your Flaws For Property? (αя¢нαиgєℓ υяιєℓ)

I'm Standing In The Face Of All That My Story Holds In Its Wake (ναℓσяє)

FANKID TAGS

Wakes Up At Noon Gets Up When He Has To Makeup On His Nightstand Cocaine In His Bathroom (тσиιтσ)

There's Something Tragic About You Something So Magic About You Don't You Agree? (є∂єи)

What We Loved Today We'll Lose Tomorrow But I Won't Need To Wait For My Share Of Sorrow Because I Always Kill The Things I Love (∂ιмαѕ)

Can't Stop Coming In Hot I Should Be Locked Up Right On The Spot (ℓυ¢єяσ)

So Throw Your Hands Up And Eat Your Heart Out Are You Star-Struck Or Did You Black Out? (ρєввℓєѕ)

She Just Wants Vodka And Cigarettes Has Her Dealer On Speed Dial When She Gets Stressed (ναиєммα)

Just Dance If You're Caught Up In The Holy Ghost Trance If You Stop I'll Put The Killer Ants In Your Pants (νυggυ¢н)

HELLBORN TAGS

Who Needs Pepsi Juice Or Sprite? If You Do You’re Weak That’s Right (вαявιє)

You Can Hate Me After You Pay Me (¢αѕн)

I’m Gonna Take Their Hearts For Ransom 'Cause Everybody’s Always Askin’ When You Gonna Show Us Magnum? (¢нαzz)

My Boy’s A Homosexual And That Don’t Scare Me None I Want The World To Know I Love My Dead Gay Son (¢яιмѕσи)

Money Can't Buy Happiness But It Can Rent You Paradise (gℓιтz)

We Put Her Down In A Shallow Grave She Wears A Dress Like A Body Bag Everyday (gяєт¢нєи)

Now We Don't Care If You're A Girl Or A Toy If You're A Game Or A Boy If You're A Nerd Or A Whore (кιтту)

Everyone's A Winner We're Makin' Our Fame Bona Fide Hustler Making My Name (ѕтυ)

ROYALTY TAGS

Perfect Isn’t Easy But It’s Me (αи∂яєαℓρнυѕ)

I Am Aware That I Am An Asshole I Really Don't Care About All Of That Though (αтнαи)

Watch Me Make ‘Em Bow One By One By One (вαєтуℓ)

Try Not To Move So Fast You Know Dessert Comes Last! (вєєℓzєвυв)

You Can Fool Yourself I Promise It Will Help Every Single Day I Just Wanna Hear You Say I'm So Lucky Lucky I'm So Lovely Lovely (¢нαяℓιє)

They Say The Best Things Are Free But I Don’t Get What They Mean 'Cause I Want Everything (мαммσи)

And The Word On The Street Is That You Sleep With Everyone You Meet (σzzιє)

Define Your Meaning Of War To Me It’s What We Do When We’re Bored (ραιмσи)

You Think You're Better Than Me I Never Heard Of You (ναѕѕαgσ)

SINNERS TAGS

If You End Up On My Table Then It Serves You Right (αℓαѕтσя)

I’m So Sad Wish Someone Would Take Me Out (αиgєℓ ∂υѕт)

I Could Leave But I'm Not Strong Enough To Run (αиуα)

Take Just One Last Dare Pretend That You Don't Care (ℓєgισи∂αяισ)

Your Magic White Rabbit Your White Room Straight Jacket (мαgριє)

When You’re Good To Mama Mama’s Good To You (мιмzу)

He Ran Into My Knife He Ran Into My Knife Ten Times (иιfту)

I Love You Oh So Madly But I Don't Stand A Ghost Of A Chance With You (σѕтєℓℓσ)

Now I Am A Man-Eater In More Than Just One Way He Tastes Like Pig But That’s Okay I Eat Him Every Day (яσѕιє)

Come Come Kitty Kitty You're So Silly Silly Don't Go Kitty Kitty Play With Me (ѕυммєя)

Don't Be Goofy Bring Some Passion To The Table (тяανιѕ)

And If You Get In My Face Then You'll Get A Taste Even God Would Run Son (ναℓєитιиσ)

Hollywood Made A Killing Machine She's Like A Teenage Slaughter Movie Scene A Serial Killer Celebrity (νєℓνєттє)

Red Eyes In The Digital Paradise (νι¢к)

Let's Stop Saying “Don't Quote Me” Because If No One Quotes You You Probably Haven't Said A Thing Worth Saying (νσχ)

Open The Door Get On The Floor Everybody Kill The DInosaur (zєєzι)

ALT!VERSE CHARACTER TAGS

Human Valentino and Vox. Broken Verse Velvette, Ostello, and Chazz's Brother. Overlord Travis.

I Know A Place Where The Grass Is Really Greener Warm Wet And Wild There Must Be Something In The Water (єяαѕмσ)

I Like Men On Their Knees Praying Up To Their God Seein' Visions Of Me (¢ℓємєит)

I Eat Boys Like You For Breakfast I Chew And Lick Your Bones (gσввℓєттє)

Every Version Of My Dead And Buried In The Yard Outside We'd Sit Back And Watch The World Go By (ℓσωєℓℓ)

I'm On A Sugar Crash I Ain't Got No Fuckin' Cash (мι¢кєу)

The Devil Taking The Lord's Name In Vain All These Thoughts Pollute Your Brain (вσgαят)

PET TAGS

‘Cause Everybody Needs Someone That They Can Trust In (fαт иυggєтѕ)

So Get Off My Back 'N Get Out My Face 'Cause I'm Mean And Green And I Am Bad (мєѕ ρєтιтѕ ¢нσυχ)

How Can He Keep Up His Tail Perpendicular Or Spread Out His Whiskers Or Cherish His Pride? (яєgισ)

Baby Shark Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Baby Shark (ναяк)

Manta Rays Above Us In The Open Sea I Wonder If You Think Of Me (νєαтвαℓℓ)

NPC/GUEST MUSE TAGS

Never Tasted As Sweet A Poison As You Have You're An Urge That Can Never Be Cured (αитσи)

I Know It's Difficult So I Will Be Patient (αяια∂иє)

It's High Noon When You Step Into The Pit It's A Monster's Ball And They're Digging A Ditch (вяι¢к)

I Never Learned To Read And I Never Learned To Cook (¢нαѕтιту)

Strip Off The Weight Of Mortality And Check It At The Door (fαвιєи)

I Don't Think I'm Right And I Know It's Not Fair (ιмєℓ∂α)

I Won't Miss This I Won't Blow It You Know It! (мαяαвυѕ)

This Ain't Build A Bitch I'm Filled With Flaws And Attitude (мιѕѕ qυιqυι)

Girls Get Angry Too I'm A Samurai Princess I'll Smash You (иιкινα)

Smoke And Mirrors And Everything Nice (яσ¢к)

VERSE TAGS

V: No Matter Where You've Been Or Who You Are If It Doesn't Kill You It's Sure To Leave A Horrible Scar - Human/Pre-Death Verse - This applies to the demons as their Human Verse and the Sinners as their Alive Verse.

V: Got No Money But It's Always Always Sunny Honey - Younger Verse - Child/Teen Verses for my muses

V: I Was Made For Loving You Baby You Were Made For Loving Me - Ostello Lives Verse. Ostello and Valentino are still together, and Ostello lets Val do as he pleases with other people as long as he comes back to him at the end of the day. Their marriage is open and Val is free to do whatever he wants for the most part.

V: Says Now We're Having Fun Give Me All Your Love I'll Never Get Enough - Broken Verse - Tino is not in charge of anything, and is kept as a pretty pet in this verse. He travels dimensions.

V: I Am A Hostage To My Own Humanity Self Detained And Forced To Live In This Mess I've Made - Fallen!Adam AU - After he was killed by Niffty, Adam was thoroughly made unholy by his actions both leading up to his death and in Heaven knowing what he was doing behind the scenes in secret. He appeared in Hell unrecognizable enough that he can skate by without being noticed, but he is one of a very select few Sinners with wings that resemble angelic (but frayed) wings. VERSE DEPENDENT: He crashed, fully on fire, into Lucifer's living room when he spawned in Hell.

V: Tell Me Which One Is Worse Living Or Dying First? - Godhood AU - Valentino and Velvette-centric God AU based on This

AU Verses With @strangeandun-muse-ual

V: You Hate 'Cause I'm A Rockstar A Pretty Little Problem - Rockstar AU

V: I'll Be Your Cheap Slut Savior - Scamverse AU

V: He Is The Drug That You Hate To Crave And I Am The Liar You Made To Praise - Crime Husbands Good End AU

V: Under These Circumstances Every Heartbeat's Criminal - Crime Husbands True End AU

V: I Wanna Give You My Heart So You Can Beat It Up - Crime Husbands Bad End AU

V: Do You Love Me? Yes No Maybe I'll Be Seeing Hades Soon - Voxdes and Persephetino AU

V: Haunt Me Haunt Me Like You Used To I Love You Most When You Scare Me To Death - Ghost Husband Verse

V: Sin Was On His LIps As He Twisted His HIps - Incubus!Valentino Verse

V: The Smell Of Flowers Was So Thick And Sickly Sweet I Felt Like I Might Choke To Death - Hanahaki Variant Of Mainverse

V: Girls With Tattoos Who Like Getting In Trouble - Genderbent Verse

V: Took Them By Surprise Worked My Way Uphill - College AU

V: Sharks Green With Envy They Wonder What You See In Me - Mermaid!Valentino AU

V: Every Kiss And Every Word They Were Bullets Spraying Hazardly From Lips - Royal AU

V: If I Had Something To Say To You I'd Whisper It Softly - Smut Writer!Era AU

V: Bleed The Neon From The Bite Marks - Werewolf!Emil/Vampire!Era Verse

V: I Know My Girlfriend Is A Witch - Summoned Chaz/Human Velvette Verse

V: Do You Wanna Party Malibu Barbie? - Sugar Baby!Valentino Verse

V: I'm Going Crazy Little Tiny Hollywood Baby - Actors VoxTelloTino AU

V: I Tried On Your Lipstick I Thought I Looked Pretty But You Didn't Care No 'Cause You're Always Busy - Actor!Val, Producer!Vox Verse

V: Cast Into Darkness They Would Be Damned For Being A Man Holding Hands - Fallen Angel Adam AU

V: Push Me Along And Leave Me So Desperate And Ravenous I'm So Weak And Powerless Over You - Mobwife Valentino AU

AU Verses With @dont-take-shxt-from-other-demons, and @strangeandun-muse-ual

V: The Successful Removal Of You Would Probably Kill Me Too - Vox Dying Verse

V: Everybody Needs A Little Trouble - "Teenverse"/Humanverse

V: Tell Me Tell Me That We Will Never See Tomorrow - "Teenverse"/Humanverse Zombie AU

AU Verses With @dont-take-shxt-from-other-demons

V: A Psalm In Napalm Abandon All Hope But Try To Stay Calm - Velvette Abducts Lucifer Verse

AU Verses With @erthlyheavn

V: I Go Out Of My Way Everyday Just Hoping That I'll Catch You Walking Down The Street - Human Verse MothMaid AU

V: It's Not A Love Song But You're Alright - Human Verse

AU Verses With @helluvaxhazbin

V: I'll Tell Uncle Rocko To Call Off The Guys With The Crowbars - Moxxie stayed with the mob AU

AU Verses With @seven-circlllxs

V: Gotta Get Your Fix Down In Hollywood - Splitscreen Verse

AU Verses With @voxiiferous

V: See Every Time You Turn Around They’re Screaming Your Name - Modern Human AU

EVENT TAGS

E: On Thursdays We Break Up - Extended Break-Up Event With @strangeandun-muse-ual's Vox and Valentino

E: Down With Vox - Event Thread With @strangeandun-muse-ual, @winters-club, and @infernal-feminae

E: Aggressive Positivity - Flash Open Event With @dont-take-shxt-from-other-demons

E: The Great Moth Off - Should Valentino or Mothman be @voxiiferous' boyfriend? Open Event

MY BLOGS/MUSES TAGS

Say What You Wanna But I'm Here To Stay 'Cause I'm A Mean Ole Lion (Cash & Barbie)

It's Never A Whisper It's Always A Scream A Promise We Made To Kill The Time Between (Valentino & Legiondario)

I Hate The Way The Townspeople Gather Outside They Hang On Every Breath (Vick & Valentino)

They Let Ole Al Out Of The Jail And The Man Who Paid His Bail Was Waitin' On Al To Chop Some More (Alastor ♡ Angel Dust)

The Dinosaurs Will Turn To Dust They'll Die Because We Say They Must (Alastor ♡ Nifty)

There's Someone Lurking Inside Of You That Someone Is Me (Alastor ♡ Valentino)

I'll Be Damned If I See You With Some Other Man If I Cannot Have You Then Nobody Can (Athan ♡ Ozzie)

Candlelit Loneliness I Lay On Your Side Of The Bed (Baetyl ♡ Andrealphus)

We Keep The Party Moving Till We Drink The Last Drop (Beelzebub ♡ Ozzie)

Eat With Your Hands It's Fine I'm On The Menu (Beelzebub ♡ Valentino)

Just Try And Nibble On My Biscuits And My Rainbow Cake (Beelzebub ♡ Velvette)

She's Like What'd You Say? We'll Just Let Our Bodies Translate (Chazz ♡ Barbie)

The Whole World Was Watching And Laughing On The Day That I Crashed And Burned At Your Feet (Erasmo ♡ April)

Wait Your Turn You're Greedy I Hear You (Mammon ♡ Fizzarolli)

Don't Use Him Or You'll Always Need To Feel Ozzie's Loving Little Lamb (Mammon ♡ Ozzie)

You Give Me Your Number I Call You Up You Act Like Your Pvssy Don't Interrupt (Mammon ♡ Valentino)

But The Best Story That I Could Ever Tell Is The One Where I Am Growing Old With You (Ostello ♡ Valentino)

She Says She's Gonna Break My Nose If I Don't Behave Next Week (Paimon ♡ Barbie)

My Baby's Got A Fucked Up Head It Doesn't Matter 'Cause He's So Damn Good In Bed (Summer ♡ Valentino)

The Pill I Keep Takin' The Nightmare I Wake In There's Nothin' No Nothin' But You (Valentino ♡ Angel Dust)

Erase Me So You Don't Have To Face Me Put Me In The Ground And Mow The Daisies (Valentino ♡ Chaz)

Don't Take It Personal You Know It's Just The Way I Roll (Valentino ♡ Nifty)

You'll Fall Down A Hole That's The One Place In This World That We Both Know (Valentino 💔 Ostello)

Just Your Typical Hardcore Casual Sex We're Single But We're Lovers Crazy For Each Other (Valentino ♡ Ozzie)

Let's Dig Up My Ex (Velvette ♡ Ian)

You Will Pace Around Your Cage And Wait For Night To Come (Velvette ♡ Valentino)

You Provide The Envy And I’ll Provide The Spite (Velvette ♡ Vick)

He's Sweet As Pie But If You Break His Heart He'll Turn Cold As A Freeze (Vick ♡ Valentino)

Cocaine Can't Do It Like You Do It To Me (Vick ♡ Velvette ♡ Valentino)

Darling You Love All The Drama 'Cause You're Never Bored I Am Forever Yours (Vox ♡ Valentino)

& TAGS (SPECIFIC)

Friendship Tags With @trumpet-hah

DGAF's And No Regrets Happy Hour Starts At Five (Barbie & Fizzarolli)

Friendship Tags With @strangeandun-muse-ual

Just Tell Me That You Need Me And Stay Right Here With Me (Erasmo & Missy)

History Shows Again And Again How Nature Points Out The Folly Of Men (Zeezi & Vox)

Friendship Tags With @hisslord

Yes I Know Who You Are But I Just Don't Care (Alastor & Angel Dust)

Do Not Befriend Your Food (Alastor & Vaggie)

We Are More Alike Than We Think We Are (Angel Dust & Vaggie)

A Motherly Instinct (Mimzy & Vaggie)

She May Be Crazy But She's Fine To Me (Nifty & Vaggie)

Friendship??? Tag With @spidrboots

I Don't Want Your Cruel Melody (Valentino & Angel Dust)

Friendship Tags With @seven-circlllxs

Our Soul Is The Whole Of The Law (Adam & Lute)

SHIPPING TAGS (SPECIFIC)

[dadbodsandbots]

your ship with Scarecrow 👀 3-4, 11, 13, 26-27, 38, and 50.

3. What was their first impression of each other?

tbh I've forgotten a lot of my ScareCat lore after so long of falling to the backburner so I'm going to assume we met at University or at the Gotham City Public Library

John probably was both lowkey annoyed and curious at my colorful and eccentric style for the first half of the year, but then nearly tripped and broke his skinny chicken neck when I turn into Goth Ms. Frizzle the second the first Autumn leaf hits the ground.

Otherwise, I'm probably staring out the window at him feeding the crows and wishing I was cool enough to befriend crows :( Colleagues and library patrons alike think we're both freaks and deserve each other.

4. Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?

Actively? It's almost always me, but I respect his boundaries if he's working and doesn't usually like to be touched. If we're reading, then it's prime cuddle time. John is all bones it's like hugging a bag of sticks in a cardigan 💀

John is selective with affection out of habit and touch aversion stemming from a horrible childhood and barely tolerable adulthood. Recognizing that I let him set the pace for contact and didn't get mad or impatient was a significant step in earning his trust bit by bit.

11. How do they feel about nicknames/pet names? If they like them, what pet names do they use? If they hate them, why do they feel that way?

He calls me Scaredy Cat or 'Fraidy Cat because I spook so easily and he thinks it's cute. No one else is allowed to scare me but him

John, on the other hand, doesn't care for nicknames AT ALL because of said shit childhood, but lowkey likes it when I call him "sweetheart" because it's the first time he's heard a Southern accent that wasn't dripping with condescension or contempt. Also, getting called "Doctor" or "Doctor Crane" hits different-

26. What sacrifices do they make for the other?

Never, ever, ever fear gas the Gotham City Public Library, not just because I work here but because there are kids, the elderly, and everyone else just trying to enjoy some peace in a shithole city. He respects that.

John never scares me with spider pranks or I'm gone. That's a hard no.

27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

I run a hot bath when he slinks in after getting thrashed by Batman or the Boy Wonder of the Week. Carefully brush his brittle hair and massage in repair conditioners (he's partial to eucalyptus). Patch up his costume and sew a heart or two on the inside before he notices.

He sets my glasses and phone on the coffee table because I always forget where I left them. John reads aloud every other night because I sleepily commented that he had a pleasant voice one time and he is still riding that high.

Despite our individual approaches, we share similar methods. Clearing half-full mugs from desks after long nights. Asking "tea or coffee?" each morning. Picking out horror movies to review or tear apart (he prefers abstract, psychological thrillers while I love schlocky B-movies)

38. Who’s got a quicker temper?

I do, but it rarely lasts as being angry exhausts me and I'd prefer to forgo confrontation until I can articulate my feelings.

John's anger simmers and steeps and stews below the surface until he spots an opportunity to take a stab at some deep-seated insecurity and that's why he'll sleep like a baby after saying the most out-of-pocket shit because you both know he's not wrong.

50. Would they ever break up? If so, why? Who would handle the breakup better?

Honestly yeah, between him and Digs, John is the f/o I'd be most likely to break up with because while we have similar hobbies and interests, his first and foremost devotion is to Fear and I know that I can't subvert obsession with good acts.

Just a cold changing of locks and maybe John even commits to a complete apartment relocation to one of his safehouses. It's decisive and everything previously sentimental has been unceremoniously snuffed out with a cold declaration that nothing is off the table now that I'm just like the rest of Gotham's chaff.

[fizzingwizard]

found some more cottagecore asks ty op

tagging @prevailing-westerly because you seem to like doing these too, and anyone else who might want to

teacup: what are 5 of your favorite songs at the moment?

Francesca - Hozier Two Slow Dancers - Mitski About Summer - Luli Lee Wish - Olivia Lufkin Hopeless Wanderer - Mumford and Sons

candle: how did you meet your best friend?

I don't have a best friend right now, so I'll talk about my childhood best friend. Not to knock adult friendships, but childhood relationships are so full of firsts and extremes of emotion that I feel like this one will always be special to me.

We were next door neighbors after I moved into the neighborhood when I was eight. I don't remember being introduced. But the other kids on the street included a girl my friend didn't like, a boy I didn't like, and then a few kids we just never interacted with (although years later I got to be friends with one of them through Girl Scouts). So pretty much we got to be friends because we didn't like anyone else :P and we both liked to play pretend. It was so much fun that I used to dread growing out of it, and we kept playing pretend long after most kids moved on.

blanket: what is your sleep schedule like?

Technically healthier than when I was younger, lol. I can't do all nighters anymore, not without paying the price. I get 6-8 hours a night, more of the 8 hours recently because I just pass out around ten or eleven with the lights on and stuff. On vacations I can still get by on less. Since I live alone and don't have kids, I have fewer sleep troubles. Even so, when I'm working I still feel so tired in the evenings.

hot chocolate: do you have a crush / partner / etc? describe them if so!

My boyfriend looks a little bit like Bradley Cooper in A Star is Born. I think I liked the movie particularly because of that, haha. He's quiet but friendly and very gentle and go with the flow. He always has candles lit.

fireplace: what has been your favorite age so far?

Whatever age I'm at. Every stage of my life has had its share of joys and difficulties. So as tempting as it is to say childhood, when happiness was never overshadowed by fears of tomorrow, I don't think it's really true.

cookie jar: if you could be doing anything right now, what would you do?

Swimming in the sea in Okinawa, for sure. And then ice cream afterward.

sweater: do you remember any of your dreams? describe them if so!

The dreams I tend to remember are all disturbing lol. And they fade when I try to think of them. I only remember one, from when I was a kid, a recurring dream in which a deer would approach me in random places. I'd be extremely scared and then wake up. The deer never did anything. I didn't have a fear of deers. Cannot explain.

doll: describe yourself through a mixture of fictional characters

Jo March with a touch of Beth. Right smack in the middle of Elinor and Marianne Dashwood. Bit of Snufkin, more Moomintroll, even more Moominmamma.

kitsch: what are your favorite books?

Well, the Moomin books obviously. Others: Never Let Me Go (Kazuo Ishiguro), Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen), Lord of the Rings (JRR Tolkien), The God of Small Things (Arundhati Roy), Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte), The Giver (Lois Lowry), His Dark Materials (Philip Pullmann).

lace: list 5 things you like about yourself

Committed 2. Genuine 3. Resilient 4. Accepting 5. Reflective

teddybear: what is your favorite temperature / weather?

70s Fahrenheit/ sunny if I'm outside doing stuff 60s F/ rainy if I'm inside writing

coffee mug: is there someone you miss right now?

My dad, who didn't reply to his birthday message

embroidery: do you consider yourself an artist?

In my opinion, to be human is to be an artist. People who actively try to control, restrict, or limit art have abandoned their humanity.