#thats why I did my recently played so you got a nice healthy mix of whatever the fuck i was listening to haha

[ssreeder]

hi sreedyy

do u have any general music recommendations? u already know my music recommendations (im still hyperfixated on sarah kinsley LOL)

can u also link the liab playlist :)

HELLLOOOOO!!!!!!ok so music. first of all: LIAB PLAYLIST (playlist & I are working to update the ITF one so… yeah lol ((if you see this playlist ill DM you back I swear I lub you)))

Other than that here’s some songs I’ve listened to this week (I just went through recently played and looked that way sorry I am not very organized) lol

I listen to a lot of instumental music… and because I am editing thats what I’m primarily listening to right now, but I didn’t list any of those here, so if you want any instrumental songs let me know & ill add them :)

RANDOM SONGS FROM MY RECENTLY PLAYED: (when I say random I mean randoom)

Rise Against: Re-Educatio (Through Labor) ((& Savior)

Burn - Phillipa Soo

Still Frame - Trapt

The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang

Salad - Blondshell

Juke Box Hero - Foreigner

The Wolf - SIAMES

I’m So Sorry - Imagine Dragons

Red Flags - Tom Cardy & Montaigne (I listen to this song as least once a day haha)

Become the Beast - Karliene (I listen to a lot of her music I like fantsy vibes)

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE - Maneskin & Iggy Pop (I like GASOLINE by them too)

Bells in Santa Fe - Halsey (I like her music a lot too)

I know A Place - MUNA

Take a Chance on Me - ABBA (they have great songs too)

Don’t Look Back - Rick & Morty (TRUST ME, its on my Zukka list haha)

Do You Feel It? - Chaos Chaos

Aria - Argy & Omnya

Gonna Love Ya - Avicii

Alone - Marshmello

Gasoline - Halsey

[trashcatsnark]

NGL I love how much you have embraced the silverv stuff here - its so nice to read. I submit for consideration, Rogue notices the tattoo while on the disaster date and both Johnny and V play it off as a joke and holy shit poor rogue stuck in a room with two morons.

Also - V getting dressed for that date and realizing they just MIGHT be a little jealous with a side of some thoughts of "Oh God Johnny Would NEVER Feel That Way About Me Gotta Bury This Deep So He Doesn't Know"

Johnny notices the anxiety but is very dense about the cause.

Oh hell yeah, I have fully embraced it and this ship; I was writing SilverV porn before the game came out, like I knew what my ship for this game was gonna be from the second I saw gifs of

“You’re a dick, Johnny” 

“And you’re a cunt, so maybe we’ll fit together after all.” 

That banter sealed my fate and I’m fairly sure I had named and created my V then wrote porn of her with Johnny literally a week later. The devil works hard, but my brainrot works harder and faster. 

Spoilers! 

Okay, so I’ve thought a lot about that date in both a silverv context (and largely how it fits with my V, Aidan and her fic) I’ll try to stay general though. 

Firstly, I whole heartedly believe Rogue sees through their bullshit. Not only is she just good at that, but Johnny even states she has MRE’s (?) and can see through people, like her eyes can pick up on signs of lying. And usually, thats not an issue for when V talks to her, but when she asks about Johnny and their relationship with him. Its a mess. And when Rogue asks Johnny about it, its a mess. 

And when Rogue notices the tattoo it’s like Oh... I get it . And Johnny is of course like, “hahaha, yeah I thought that’d be so funny, the kid hates it.” But Rogue isn’t stupid, she knows a lovey dovey heart with their names, something that looks like someone doodled it on their third grade notebook about their crush, is not really typical of Johnny’s “joking” She knows that if Johnny is not really the kind of guy to hahahaha its so funny to make it look like we love each other; he’d be more likely to get a dick tattooed on V’s arm if it was just to mess with them. For gods sake, look how many people didn’t pick “the other one” because they were convinced it was gonna be a dick. That’s a Johnny just trying to fuck with someone move. So, she doesn’t buy it, but doesn’t push it...with him. 

She asks V about and of course they play it off as “Yeah, Johnny thought it’d be funny, what a fucking asshole, its so fucking dumb, I totally fuckin hate it.” 

“So, why not get it removed?” 

“Uhhhhhhhhhhh, well you see what had happened was, um, I, just uhhhh, never been enough time, I guess yeahhhhhh.” 

Cause lets face it, in cyberpunk universe, getting a tattoo removed should be easy. If you can get blades in your arms and can have a completely newly reconstructed body in like an afternoon; you can get a tattoo removed in like twenty minutes. So, V still keeping it, says volumes about how they really feel.

Now, V’s jealousy and the date. 

I do absolutely agree that any anxiety or ill feeling V might have up until the date; Johnny is gonna feel, but not realize where it’s coming from. I think if anything, he’s gonna chalk it up to V being anxious about giving him control again and he’s gonna be like worried that maybe V doesn’t trust him as much as they let on. 

And I do think a V who has feelings for Johnny, would not be able to help feeling some jealousy regarding Rogue and Johnny. Just because jealousy is natural thing to feel and while you can debate if they were ever a good or healthy couple, you can’t debate they shared very real feelings for one another. And I think a lot of V’s jealousy would come from just how much Johnny seems to first think of/go to Rogue. When he needed to save Alt, first person he turned to, Rogue. When he wanted to bomb Arasaka tower (going by his memory of it and ignoring that the event was probably actually planned by Morgan Blackhand), who’d he go to? Rogue. When he becomes determined to get Smasher, who is he determined to get him with, Rogue. When he first decides to atone for his past mistakes, who’s the first person he wants to make up with, Rogue. When at the rooftop, who does he want to go grab to help him save V, Rogue. 

If you got feelings for someone, that’d hurt, I think it’s impossible for that not to spark some jealousy. And V if anything is also mad at themselves for having those feelings, because they like Rogue, she’s a badass, a legend, they respect the hell out of her. And of course they have feelings for Johnny and they wanna help him make shit right and they wanna give him a chance to enjoy himself. But this stupid reptilian part of their brain is screaming but i want to be the first person he goes to, the first person he thinks about, which they know is also stupid cause for fucks sake the man literally lives in their brain, they’re as close as two people can be and literally when Johnny has the power to go to someone for something, he can’t go to V because they’re reduced to sleeping essentially until Johnny hands back the reigns. Yet, feelings aren’t aren’t always, rational, sadly. 

And to Johnny’s credit, he probably doesn’t even give it that much thought. Rogue is a badass, someone he cares for, someone he can depend on and someone he hurt really badly. The two people he can and always has been able to depend on the most (other than Alt prior to her death) have been Kerry and Rogue. And, bless his heart, the fuck is Kerry gonna do? Kerry ain’t a merc, Kerry isn’t gonna bust into Arasaka Tower or plant a bomb. Kerry doesn’t have the connection to Smasher. So, of course, Rogue is gonna be his go to. And in terms of making things up to people...he literally cannot really do much to make things up to V, not the way he can for Rogue or Kerry. Cause, when him and V are both conscious, he can’t do much beyond touch and talk to them. Hell, even with Rogue and Kerry, he relies mostly on V to help him do anything. Even with people he can interact with and do something for; V is doing all the nitty gritty work for him. V drives Rogue to the theater, V breaks into the theater, V gets the projector going. V breaks into Kerry’s house, V disables the security. V gets in contact with Nancy. V gets Nancy out of Totentanz in one piece. 

Which probably if V actually thought about it critically, does mean he’s going to them and relying on them more than Rogue, but they’d probably dismiss it out of it being for necessity and not because he cares about them and feels he an depend on them. 

Anyhow, Johnny would probably love to do some nice gesture to make up for his bender to V, hell they probably were the first person he wanted to make things up since they are his catalyst for changing. But what feasibly can he do for them? Anything he’d want to do with/for them, would just be asking V go do this thing and i’ll also be here. Anything that would put them in public interacting is out, unless they want MaxTac called on V for looking cyberpsychotic. He can’t even do an at home date, because he can’t cook (engram or not) and he can’t buy them anything nice he has no money and also doesn’t technically exist. He could try to do so sneakily while he’s in control...but he’d be using V’s money so they might as well just buy it for themselves. he can play music for them,,. but that doesn’t seem too special and more than a little egotistical to think it’ll make V feel better about what he did... So... all he can really do, is prove he’s worth trusting by being on his best behavior and more importantly do what he can to save V’s life. 

Then there’s the date. And as usual, I have some opinions and feelings about a thing.  Like, okay, I’ve seen some people (aka Gamer Bros on Twitter) being like, Rogue is Johnny’s girl. Wanting to date either of them is wrong because they like each other. (then you also get the BUT ALT crowd, but rants for another day.) And I can’t help but ask, did we play the same date? Their entire date is about how they’re both desperately clinging to the past. Rogue is trying to reclaim 2013-2023 Rogue and Johnny just wanting for a night to feel like the world and his place in it haven’t been completely rearranged. And it ends with Rogue telling him, she is not that girl anymore, she can’t pretend to be, and frankly she doesn’t want to anymore. She wishes she could be, wishes she was still that tall haired street punk who’d never dream of working with corps or being a fixer, but she’s not. Her and Johnny are no longer the same people who met back in to 2010’s. Doesn’t mean they don’t care about one another and doesn’t mean what feelings they had weren’t real or important; but they’re just not those people anymore. Rogue more so than Johnny since he’s freshly on the course of change.   

Something else in regards to the date, that I think is important to talk about and how it relates to silverv and its something I personally have very conflicting feelings about. The fact that Johnny can initiate some physical intimacy with Rogue. See, I have never chosen the option to kiss Rogue during the date and actually did not learn until relatively recently, that if that choice is made it goes a biiit further than a kiss. I have watched the scene now.

And god I have mixed feelingssss. Like, I get it, but I’m not sure I like it. And I know full well, my silverv bias impacts my feelings on the matter, it’s be disingenuous to say otherwise. But I don’t think the ship is purely my reason for having these feelings. But at the end of the day, its all opinions. So, I get from a character perspective that Johnny and Rogue are trying so hard to reclaim their past and what they use to have that they get caught up in trying do what they would do if this was the 2010’s. And Johnny’s relationships as we’ve seen are very physical, sexual chemistry and attraction are major factors in his relationships because he kept things very superficial most of the time. He even says part of the issue with his relationship with Rogue is at the time he didn’t realize he could let her see the true him and still hid behind walls, kept things at a distance. So, the idea that’d they fall back into the old habit of trying to just be physical and ignore their feelings, isn’t out of character. 

However, and Johnny even seems to acknowledge this issue when Rogue interrupts it, they’re doing this with V’s body. V...who did not consent to sexual contact. They consented to a date and while one could logic that this would mean everything a date could entail up to and including physical intimacy; I would argue that that is something that would need further conversation to have clear consent. And like again, this might come down to boundaries and personal feelings. Because I go back to the bender and what’s been interesting to me is too see different opinions on it; some people weren’t actually bothered at all by Johnny’s bender in V’s body, some people were bothered by the drugs and alcohol specifically cause their V is straight edge. Me, personally, it was the sexual content and the endangering of V’s life. Like, it was mostly funny and oh yeah, I expected that it’s bad but eh I’ll move on, to me, until he started getting sexual with people in V’s body. Like that to me is not just crossing the line, it’s catapulting over it. 

And like I said, Johnny even responds to Rogue’s “this isn’t fair” with “what, you mean it’s not fair to V?” which she says she meant it isn’t fair to Johnny. (Which viscerally upset because you nearly used V’s body for sexual gratification without their consent and you’re worried about Johnny, which tbf Rogue has no way of knowing what V has and hasn’t consented to, so its not on her but that was my knee jerk thought). So, he has some awareness that maybe that was a bad move. 

And yeah, it definitely to me and my V would be a very bad move (unless he explicitly talked to them beforehand and got consent). And in general, it made me feel like, dude, you just promised you’d be better and not break V’s trust but again not a day later you’re nearly using them to have sex. It felt like a backslide, which isn’t necessarily unrealistic, cause change and growth is not always linear, people can commit to changing themselves and still fuck up and not get it right; in fact it’s rare for them not to have any sort of backsliding or repeating of mistakes. 

Again, I will also give credit that he could have been assuming that given V consented to the date, they assumed or were cool with their being physical intimacy between him and Rogue. He also generally, might not have really planned for it to happen, because I don’t think Johnny plans a lot of anything. It very well might have just sort of happened. Also, V doesn’t clearly communicate if the sexual component was an issue in the bender. All V really seems to have an issue with in game is the very general thing of; he misled them and used them. So, he might have assumed that wasn’t ever an issue. And hell, if you wanna go full meta, the player is technically the one who makes that choice and V is largely an avatar for the player, so that alone could be seen as whether or not V would/does consent. 

But, from a story perspective, removing the player choice element. I think how that’s handled would have a huge impact on silverv and where it goes from there. 

Because if V and Johnny did talk about consent prior and V did consent while having feelings for Johnny, god I’d have to imagine they’d still feel pretty hurt, but feel it’s irrational to feel that way and have put their own feelings aside because clearly Johnny cares about and wants Rogue and they should ruin what could be his one chance to make things right. 

If there like in game was no talk of consent and Johnny ends up kissing and touching on Rogue and V finds out or has memories of it surface,that could be devastating for them. Not only from their own feelings for Johnny, but this since of betrayal and hurt. Was the oil field conversation just a lie? A manipulation? V might feel like they were used; that Johnny never gave a shit about them or how they feel. And Johnny would have to deal with the realization that intentionally or not; he earned back V’s trust just to destroy it again. He fucked up again, he ruined everything again, he got his second chance and destroyed it…. And he doesn’t know how, if he can, or if he should bother trying to ask for a third. In general, I do think, V would come out of the date assuming (naturally so) that Johnny really only has romantic feelings towards Rogue, that they’re just a friend at best, a host to be used at worse. I even in my own universe with my V have them after everything is better, everyones got a body, expects Johnny to start pursing Rogue and trying to swallow their own feelings and be a supportive friend, try to encourage and push him to do it and Johnny’s just like please stop, Rogue is this close to murdering us both.

I was gonna add more funny stuff to this and include a shitposty interaction he has with my V over them dressing up for the date and shit, BUT HOLY FUCK THIS GOT LONG AND SAD????? I’M SO SORRY.

[creacherkeeper]

How is the cowboi doing? :) I’d love to hear about some of their recent adventures.

OH WELL IT'S ME + ALSO MY DICE HATE(/love) ME SO YOU KNOW THEYRE GETTING WHUMPED CONSTANTLY LMAO

there have certainly been some Events Unfolding so those are under the cut, casey since youre in our campaign now NO PEEKING

fair warning this is .... long ..... you have asked me to talk about my dnd character and you simply CANNOT stop the floodwaters now. enter at your own risk

okay so basically the first arc of the campaign kind of kicked off with them getting a vision from their goddess (the grain goddess/goddess of agriculture) saying that she was trapped in a fey gate and that they needed to come rescue her

so erley immediately Rallied The Posse and set off to do that. they NUMEROUS times tried to pray to her, commune with her, basically just get ANY sort of communication or guidance from her, but the dice like to tell their story so i literally never got above an 11 (paladin with only +2 to religion my beloved) and they never heard from her, which was making them. pretty nervous. when it seemed like everyone else was able to talk to their gods just fine

well we eventually figured out that there was a huge gathering of fey in the woods (me: this might be too big for us to fight. what if its like 30 fey? / my dm, glancing at his notes where he has 2000 fey written down: (: ) and basically the fey like. had captured and were trying to kill what was left of the pantheon so they could bring back gaia as the One True God

we found all this out because it turned out several members of the party had been lying about how much they knew of the fey and had personal connections to the fey they'd kept hidden. and erley, who is ALSO HIDING A LOT from the party like. immediately went on the offense and was just generally very unhappy about this

there had been this fey merchant who kept popping up wherever we were trying to sell us magic weapons that seemed tied to us specifically. erley was always VERY suspicious of her and did everything in their power to stop the others from buying her weapons (which we literally had to buy with -5 to a skill point, not money, v sus) to mixed results. but basically when we got to the fey gathering (we called it gaiapalooza) erley rolled a 1 on their survival check to get through the magic field and like. got teleported to her. and they really wanted information from her so they basically were like LEORA I DONT KNOW WHO TO TRUST I THINK MY PARTY HAS BEEN LYING TO ME, CAN YOU TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT THEM CAN YOU SEE US WHEN YOURE NOT THERE? and basically pretended to need a therapy session in order to milk her for information lmao. she also seemed like. REALLY interested in erley and i was also very nervous about that

and i was RIGHT to be suspicious of her because we found out she WAS ACTUALLY THE BIG BAD and we had to fight her in the arc finale. and several of our party members had rl stuff and were not there, and in game our druid was away casting an 8 hour long spell to try and stop the palooza ceremony, so our party was SUPER nerfed and also as soon as erley realized it WAS actually leora who was behind all of it and she WAS trying to hurt them with those weapons (the weapons were tethers to the gods to be able to kill them basically), they got .... a little angry

and my party found out after irl a year of playing these characters that erley's first level is barbarian :))

so erley raged and did frankly a staggering amount of damage in this fight, and also only stayed up because of rage because they took a LOT of hits. but also. they dont rage FOR A REASON so it sort of took them over and when leora dropped, one of the other pcs ran over to stabilize her as she was making death saves and erley :) maybe :) drove a spear through her heart and killed her :)

and her body immediately just like. overgrew with plants and vines and flowers and basically wrapped the spear in a bed of plants and it was very cinematic and cool

(we have since found out that leora was like. actually an aspect of gaia so. that is. interesting)

of course then erley popped out of rage and was like FUCK this is why i dont do this, i went too far, it always goes too far, THIS is why im ashamed of this, and just got very emo boi about it. so they used their last spell slot to cast restoration on the space they had fought in and reached out to their goddess, having just saved her and the rest of the pantheon like she had asked them to

and i rolled a nat 1!!!

(the dm was like "you have committed this violent act, you feel so low and so bad and in need of guidance, and reach out to your goddess. and the absolute lack of a response just makes you feel empty inside" and i was like :) oh :) okay cool :) you love to see that with your paladins huh)

at this point the druid came back in and, instead of erley like. examining any of their own shit immediately lashed out at her and was like "why did you lie to me about the fey, why did you lie about why you were here, why ARE you here because i realize now it wasnt to help me"

and at that point ONE OF THE FEY QUEENS WALKED IN and the druid was like "... mother ..." and we were all :O

so it turns out the fey queen is her birth mom but had like? kidnapped one of the children of her firbolg tribe and was holding her hostage and the druid was on a quest to find her and bring her back

so erley :) felt :) even more bad about that :) and very shamedly pledged their help to her, and basically was like "as long as youre on this noble quest i will follow you if you'll have me"

so we're on our second arc now, which is traveling across the country to go meet the fey queen and get this kid back. as we were traveling my dm had me roll religion and a luck check and i got a 21 ON RELIGION FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER and a 6 luck. and he was like "you dont usually dream, but you have a nightmare. you know this nightmare was given to you, it was divinely inspired, but you dont know who sent it" and it was just erley killing leora over and over and over again. so they were like. well fuck

(my dm also messaged me privately and we talked and he was like. yeah you can get rid of your oath of devotion and change it to oath of the ancients, i am not telling you or erley why the subclass has changed and you also might get nerfed later. also level up barbarian for the next fight)

so erley was. feeling PRETTY DANG BAD and very guilty and stressed and all that. they did also realize their barbarian side was getting stronger which, considering their backstory is all tragic barbarian shit they were NOT happy about. i was fully prepared to have them be more ostracized from the party and go into full angst mode, but then the druid actually like. pulled them aside and explained why she had hidden information from them, and had a very sweet conversation with them and held their hand and it was VERY touching (she also had the baller line "you think your goddess can hear you and she's not answering. but maybe you're talking in a whisper and she needs to hear you scream")

we had another fight (we're level 7 and my dm told us after it was a cr 32 fight like. dude??? what the fuck?????) and once again erley didnt go down only because of rage

THEY ALSO UNINTENTIONALLY CAST MISTY STEP (which is an ancients spell they didnt have before) and were like WELL NO TIME TO UNPACK WHAT THAT WAS RIGHT NOW, HAVE TO NOT DIE

after the battle was over i asked to roll a check to figure out why i had access to that spell and got :) yeah you guessed it :) another nat 1 :) so erley has literally no idea how they cast that or what it could mean. we just had a new pc introduced who is a sorcerer so erley is definitely going to talk to her and see if she knows anything. because they are FULLY IN THE DARK about their subclass change or what that means in game

we're also (because of the fucking cr 32 fight) going to be leveling up again soon, and babey you KNOW im leveling barbarian. after rage kept me up and then rolling another nat 1 religion check, and also me the player not knowing whats up with their goddess/magic, i simply cant level paladin rn. so im BETWEEN A FEW SUBCLASS OPTIONS and ive been thinking them over but i think it really depends how the next few games go

my FULL ANGST option was to make them level into zealot barbarian like their awful dad, but i thought that made the least sense in universe rn

secondary angst option is to level into berserker, which i think fits pretty closely with how i've been roleplaying the rage so far. trading off an extra attack for a level of exhaustion fits pretty closely. also whump central

the NICE option is to have them be a totem warrior barbarian, and have both their paladin steed and their totem be a bull :) (they are a cowboi after all) i think thats the closest i can marry their two classes and potentially have some healthy growth for them, let them see that the rage doesnt HAVE to be a bad thing, that being a barbarian isnt something they HAVE to be ashamed of. reskinning the bear totem would give them resistance to all damage but psychic while raging, and im planning on taking the tough feat, so theyd pretty much be ... an unstoppable tank. plus i can still divine smite while in rage so theyd be VERY powerful

and now youre all caught up on my very special boi :))))) bet you didnt expect quite that much of an infodump but. listen. listen im simply obsessed with dnd i cannot help it. any chance to talk about my characters i WILL TAKE IN A HEARTBEAT (thank u for prompting my ramble lmao)

[jestbee]

Fic Read Round-up 12th Oct 2018

A list of fic I read this week and recommend (wips not included)

Sorry there wasn’t one last week, I didn’t read much. This week I read too much. Go figure. 

Disclaimer: I spent a lot of time re-reading people’s fic and back catalogues this week so there will be a lot of repeat writers. I don’t apologise for this, going through people’s pages and reading a lot when I’m feeling down is something I like to do. These writers comfort me when things seem hopeless.

Dan/Phil

cold feet by @waveydnp

M 3.3k Foot fetish fic from the amaaf verse. This is actually so beautiful, I’m in love. 

paint it on your face by @onedirectionticketss1

M 574 soulmate marks with a twist. Funny and lovely, an all round good read. 

Beside You I’m a Loaded Gun by ramonaspeaks

E 958 Phil wakes up still hard from the night before. Fun fact: this is my most re-read fic in the phandom.

witness by @velvetnautilus

G 818 Dan makes coming out videos but he never shows them to anyone. Other than Phil. 

nothing feels better by @waveydnp

M 2.5k I just really really love fwb okay? Them not being able to say what they want to say but their actions being so obvious that you just want to shake them. But Sarah writes them so beautifully that it hurts so good. ugh. 

unashamed, wide open for joy by @queerofcups

E 10.8k Okay, what happened was shapes and weights to choose (look at me defying my own rule of not mentioning wips - lol no regrets) updated. So I re-read it from the beginning. Twice. (ao3 tells me I’ve visited this fic 65 times and thats only the ones where I was logged in) and then I was thinking about Porn Star Phil because, well, why wouldn’t you? And then I remembered this fic wherein Phil is also a porn star and Dan is a youtuber and there is a mix up when he tells Phil he makes videos on the internet and it’s just really good and so I re-read this too. 

Unlatch by @queerofcups 

E 1.6k Phil can’t get over it when Dan makes the joke about sucking dick in Living my Truth and starts holding out on him. After re-reading the above fic I started going back and re-reading a bunch more because I have my faves and I re-read all the time. 

(your love) feels like all four seasons by @queerofcups

E 1.5k Dan and Phil at the Lester’s trying to be quiet. Told you I’m not apologising for reccing the same author one million times this week. 

everybody told me it was bad to do by @queerofcups

M 1.1k Phil’s boyfriend is downstairs and yet they’re doing stuff anyway. I have a confession that I actually really love fics where the relationship is a bit fucked up? Like I don’t think fic needs to always be representative of like healthy communication or whatever because it isn’t a relationship guide, it’s fiction. And this is a perfect example of a really interesting dynamic. I love. 

Birthday Sex by @danfanciesphil

E 233.7k friends with benefits, so angsty but with the happiest ending. Okay, I sort of blame @charlottekath for this because she re-read this recently and then I thought... okay I’ll re-read it too and I got a bit broken in the middle like I always do but by the time I reached the end it was okay. I did however have to go read some stuff where it wasn’t all turbulent for them to make myself feel better. 

Give Me A Try by @danfanciesphil

E 72.9k Instagram model Phil and bartender Dan. I love Phil, I love Dan being a fan of Phil. I like the teasing and the banter and the sexual tension. This cured all my ills. 

L'Histoire Française by @danfanciesphil

E 105.5k Teacher Phil and teaching assistant Dan. More lovely sexual tension with a good pay off. I had no ills left but I thought, while on a good writer’s page, might as well read some others too. I almost completed the set. 

L'Histoire de L'Amour by @danfanciesphil

E 2.9k a valentines day follow up to the above. Because I like to see them settled and happy. ahhhh. 

Raise your arms and hold by @danfanciesphil

M 10.3k Phil rents a flat across from Dan and their balconies face each other. Dan is depressed, Phil has plants. 

if there's a line, then I think that we crossed it by @tobieallison

unrated 797 2010!Phan might be my fave??? when they’re working it out and going through that really exciting just-in-love stuff. makes me feel all warm.

Daddy Kink by @danfanciesphil

E 9k Phil thinks the daddy kink thing is weird until one day things change. The only daddy kink fic that needs to exist honestly. 

Frustration by ramonaspeaks

E 8.4k Dan has hand surgery and can’t do anything for himself. Phil helps out. 

Look don’t judge the amount of smut I read this week, okay? I had a really bad week and sometimes when I’m in a really dark place I like to read smut and see people be happy because fluff is too cloying for me in that headspace sometimes but smut doesn’t tend to be as like, nice. 

Temptations by ramonaspeaks

E 2.7k baking and then some getting together smut, perfect

Terrifying Truths And Drunken Dares by @danfanciesphil

E 9.8k Dan and Phil get drunk and play truth or dare. Yeah, I went back to Ellen’s page because I hadn’t read everything yet. 

Holding Back by ramonaspeaks

E 3k 2009 phan and Phil teaching Dan how to give him a blow job

The Hottest Day by ramonaspeaks

E 3k It’s a hot day and Dan has ice to cool down things take an interesting turn - some more getting together smut

Waking Up by ramonaspeaks

E 2.6k Uni AU where Dan stays in Phil’s dorm room and they wake up together

litany in which certain things are crossed out by nokomisfics, recklessfishes

E 21.4k another of my absolute favourites of all time. Dan is a writer and a bit shit and Phil is a student he has a one night stand with and then falls into a kind of fwb relationship with and its just so so good but I always manage to forget about the ambiguous ending when I read it and then I’m left a little sad 

naked sofa battle royale by @alittledizzy

E 1.3k Phil likes playing fornite naked and he likes incentives to win Dan takes advantage of that. 

the sun a souvenir by deletable_bird

E 10.8k Dan is an art student with a final assignment and no model. He meets Phil at a coffee shop. I also kind of had a thing for coffee shop AUs this week, as will become apparent. 

Immediate Family by sasiml

G 1.3k Dan and Cornelia talking about family and how they are the same but different. I already reblogged this but I’m adding it here too as I really do recommend it

shift into overdrive by @alittledizzy

E 1.2k Dan and Phil can’t have sex on the tour bus, but they can do other things. I had a bad week and I wanted to read my fave ever trope from one of my fave ever writers, okay?

keep a place for me by @waveydnp

E 14.1k I know everyone knows Sarah is a genius at this point but I don’t think this particular fic gets as much love as it should. YouTuber AU slow burn and a lot of sorting their shit out

waiting to be found by @alittledizzy

M 15.1k Dan and Phil meet at a club, and then again at a coffee shop and the universe must just want them that way.  I remember reading this as it came out and just loving it and I still love it with every re-read. (17 times according to ao3 because I always open entire work at once)

waiting outside the lines by @alittledizzy

T 22.8k There is a coffee shop and some uni parties as a music festival and charlie is there along with Cat but it isn’t angsty, they’re just figuring stuff out and it’s beautiful. The ending is wonderful. 

closer to where I started by @alittledizzy

M 10.6k Dan gets injured and Phil worries and it leads them to some big decisions (dw, Dan is fine in the end) This kind of hurt/comfort is the best tbh. If you’re on a Dizzy kick and re-reading, you can’t not re-read this one, can you?

get me up get me out (of my mind) by @alittledizzy

E 2k Phil is having some issues, but Dan is there to help. I love Phil in this, and I love Dan. I love it all. 

back to those tokyo nights by @waveydnp

M 3k this coincidentally dropped as I was reading the previous and my ‘Phil being his age’ thirst was well and truly quenched. I love Phil being older, I love mentions of him doing their taxes. I love him being insecure about it and Dan assuring him he still thinks he’s really fucking hot. But most of all I love how true this is to the depiction of a long-term relationship. How predictability doesn’t necessarily mean boring It mean you’ve worked out what you like. how damn, this is a good fic. 

Crawling back to you by definitelythor (yourlionheartx)

E 14.4k Phone sex, and kind of fwb. They have phone sex alot until they move in together and then it stops. Until it doesn’t. 

[lysitheaioandeuropa]

All of the obscure asks!!!

what’s your favorite way to dress?uh, cozy/casual. I wear a lot of dresses bc I fucking hate real pants. yesterday i stepped a little out of my comfort zone and wore a fitted dress and heels, i felt super ugly and had an anxiety atttack LMAO but overall it was nice afterwards

if you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?i’d be skinny lol

what movie/game/etc. helps you calm down?kingdom hearts (any) and horror movies for fun

what does your room smell like?currently the “flannel” bath & body works scent

do you like to organize?absolutely fucking love it, but like depression 

what kind of music would you listen to if you could only choose one?shit this is hard considering i like literally EVERYTHING. but probably reggeaton lmao

what song is your aesthetic?this is also hard? i’m not sure and it definitely depends on the day/my mood

what color do you think goes best with your personality?gray pastels. does that make sense? gray versions of colors are me. I had a bf tell me i only liked dead colors lmao

do you believe in auras?i sure as fuck do i wish i could see them

what do you wish you hated, but actually like?working out and eating healthy lmao

vague about your crush(es)i fucking love her voice

is there someone you have mixed feelings towards?lmfao yeah plenty

talk about an au or story you came up withIN MY AU, DRACO MALFOY DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER OKAY. HE RUNS AWAY TO LIVE WITH HIS MOTHER, THEY LEAVE LUCIUS BEHIND. DRACO IS FUCKING TRAUMATIZED AFTER EVERYTHING LUCIUS PUT HIM THROUGH AND MADE HIM DO, ITS EATS AWAY AT HIM, BUT HE HAS TO WORK THROUGH THE PTSD AND EVERYTHING HE DID WRONG. draco has the worlds greatest redemption arc after zuko. also someone made an au comic where he and harry end up together and it didnt even seem like fanfic it felt so natural. after reading that i feel like my AU needs to have draco reaching out to harry during his redemption arc. like he needs to talk to him he needs someone to turn to. harry at first talks to him in secret bc ron and hermione are assholes still. then he starts inviting him over and making him part of the group and everyone is reluctant at first but they warm up to him. harry and ron are still best friends, but hes so busy dating hermione that draco and harry end up connecting (as friends). ginny probably has issues with it bc she takes it personally (re: chamber of secrets), and maybe that is a driving wedge between them helping lead to their divorce on top of her quidditch playing schedule and harry’s auror job. draco and his wife werent really that great together to begin with anyway. so harry and draco bond over that as well, and well thats we get from my au to the other fanfic i read. i took this and ran lmfao i would love to actually have time to write this out well though. im lowkey talented but havent really had the chance to expand on that. i dont practice my writing or anything enough unfortunately. being an adult be like

do you like makeup?im not good at it, but yes

do you prefer space or the ocean?i doont fuck with either of them bitches. but i am a slut for learning about both. just dont send me there.

if you could pick any planet besides earth, where would you live?jupiter and venus both seem cool, but i would wanna travel to another galaxy

what form of government do you like the most? (capitalism, socialism, etc.)i’m not as informed as i would like to be to make a fully informed decision, but socialism and communism both seem so fucking GREAT in theory but not in practice lmao. fuck capitalism though

what animal would you keep as a pet, if you could?my dog!!!!!!!!! I LOVE SANDRA. also though a fox, or an elephant, AN OTTER. idk i like a lot of animals

what do you think our purpose is in the universe?BITCH!!! I DONT FUCKING KNOW!!! i dont think i have a purpose ultimately and im not sure whats keeping me alive tbh

do you believe in god(s)?i believe in a sort of higher universal power kind of. just not sure

is there a song you can’t handle listening to, even though you like it?anything by russ or j cole lmfao. i hate country. i skip a lot of songs that i cant tolerate tbh so cant give just one lol

what ex do you miss the most, if you have one?im not gonna answer this lmfao. the last two were pretty cool during, not so much after

do you like soft, fluffy blankets or rough/smooth blankets?soft fluffy, but i also love my feather down comforter

what is your favorite thing to learn about?anything! i love learning shit, i end up reading about shit for fun and always “fun facts” up my sleeve 

what country’s history do you find the most interesting?dude anything but ours. american history is really not that great ngl, unless we’re talking native american. 

what do you think about genderbent ____ (insert someone here)i know this was meant to be asked as an individual question but my thoughts on genderbent anything isnt wild tbh. genderbent twilight is fucking stupid though

what breakup was the hardest, if you had one?WOW LMFAO. all of them felt like i was going to die, and no im not being dramatic. i remember each one feeling like i was literally being torn apart, staying in bed for days and weeks on end and just sinking and sinking so low, emotional, mentally, so on and so forth. i dont deal with breakups well

do you have someone where you can’t decide if you like them romantically or just as a friend?not at all, im pretty sure about who i like and how, most of the time. i do try to keep an open mind though

what do you think about tumblr discourse?i dont lmao

what instrument do you wish you could master?I WANT TO LEARN TO PLAY THE FUCKING HARP

how easy is it for you to be honest?entirely way too easy which is why a lot of people hate me lmao

do you have any strange interests?just about all of them lmao. but i think books, anime, and video games are the main ones 

do you have any strange fears?i used to be really scared of the dark but i got over it (recently, lmao). when i was living alone i was irrationally afraid of home invasion lol. im now just scared of like losing my job and shit lol

what food do you binge on when you’re lazy?i dont really have a lot of “binge” food. if im lazy i just snack around, i try to cook and stuff but just depends. im more conscious about binging bc i dont want to feel guilty so if im lazy i might get fast food but something small if that makes sense

when you get angry, how do you show it?OKAY i have actually gotten a lot better at this!!!! i take a few breathes and honestly really sit there and think about it. i try not to lash out or act immediately bc if i do i’ll pop off. so i try to talk through it rationally and assess how i feel before i do anything crazy

do you have any impulsive movements? (twitches, ticks, flapping, etc.)muscle spamsms when i sleep sometimes

what do you listen to music on?everything tbh but mostly my phone

are you left brained or right brained?I would want to say left brained bc im super logical and whatnot, but right brained bc artistic or whatever. maybe i actually use more than 10% unlike everyone else or whatever 

earbuds or headphones?earbuds

do you like light blankets or heavy blankets? light