#thats what you get when you send your dogs to war school all they want to do is kill smh

[turgidmuff]

his dumb stupid face when he has muffleys undivided attention

[ruhrohimrorny]

What Subjects I Think LOK Characters Would Teach:

Lin: PE, obviously. Dating Kya and all the kids are happy cause there’s a noticeable shift in Lin’s mood once they start dating. She no longer forces kids to run a mile every day and instead does it once a week now, so the kids are hoping her and Kya stay together. She also coaches Golf and Lacrosse.

Kya: Waffled between MILF Math teacher, MILF Science teacher, and hippy/chill Music teacher, but decided on MILF Science Teacher. Getting strong Biology vibes. Very fun labs and not strict at all. Her and Zhu-Li are super passionate about leading the Science Bowl team. Seeing these young people be so passionate about STEM and helping their fellow teammates makes her hopeful for this young generation.

Tenzin: He kinda gives math teacher vibes, but a large part of his character in the show is about him keeping his history alive, and teaching others abut learning and respecting history, so I feel like he’s a History teacher. His class is a lot of notetaking but he plays quiet music and does a five minute meditation in the middle of class to encourage kids to relax, so students really like him and actually listen to him. Also, he’s kind of gullible so they make up fake trends to tell him. He once spent a week addressing people as “brony” cause students told him thats what people say now instead of bro. Kids got a good laugh out of that one. Him and Pema are another favorite teacher couple.

Bumi II: Def gives off eccentric/unhinged English teacher vibes. Very interesting and informative conversations in his class, but things get off topic very quickly. Whenever kids ask about Bum-Ju, he gets distracted and will talk the entire rest of the period about what to dress Bum-Ju up as for Halloween. Probably plays a lot of videos. And students don’t worry about if they read the books Bumi II assigns cause they don’t think he’s even read the books he assigns. When having discussions about the books in class, sometimes kids will make up stuff and say it’s in the book and for the most part, Bumi II goes along with it cause he doesn’t know what actually happens in the books.

Varrick: Also gives off eccentric/unhinged English teacher vibes, but because he’s a businessman/war profiteer, I’m gonna have to say he teaches Econ and gives students lots of unsolicited financial advice. Also supervises the Engineering and Robotics Club.

Zhu-Li: Science teacher, probably Chemistry. She’s very good at explaining and getting kids to follow her instructions. Not only is she a co-supervisor for the Science Bowl team, she helps Varrick run Engineering and Robotics Club, cause if it were only Varrick running it, no kids would come. His intensity and eccentricity scares them.

Iroh II: He’s definitely the young Math teacher everyone has a crush on. Very chill and doesn’t give a lot of homework. Kids love when he shows pictures of his dog to the class and eventually he brings in the dog cause admin think the dog is too cute to say no to.

Tonraq: Resident DILF History teacher. Kind of a hardass but also a nice dude so most everyone passes his class. Probably that History teacher that is also a football coach, so during fall he doesn’t give a FUCK about whether anyone actually turns anything in. Him and Senna is the teacher couple that seems like opposites but actually are pretty similar and balance each other out.

Senna: That English teacher that every mentally ill student becomes emotionally attached to. You know what I’m talking about. She’s so sweet, funny, and chill so all the kids love her class. Tries to include memes in her presentations to seem “with it” but they’re like, doge memes from 2014. But the kids appreciate the effort.

Pema: Definitely the sweet English teacher that occasionally has a mental breakdown when the students test her patience. Otherwise very chill. Also teaches the Childhood Education and Development class. Her, Senna, and Bumi II run the school newspaper.

Bataar: Drafting. Pretty chill, very skilled, and def smokes on the weekend. Also, him and Suyin are that teacher couple that everyone likes.

Suyin: Dance. Super nice and always has like to of those smelly plug in things going so her room smells good and has a “good vibe that evokes emotion”. Always plays EDM or weird 80s rock to get the kids moving. She runs the school dance team. When Bataar has prep period, he sometimes drops in to see Su dance, cause she’s mesmerizing to watch. All the kids think that, coupled with the fact that they eat lunch together every day, makes them the cutest couple ever.

Amon: Drama. He loves directing kids on how to totally live a role. If you can imagine, he sometimes gets a little overdramatic about drama, forgetting that these are just highschool kids, not Oscar winners, but his passion makes the class more enjoyable. Runs Drama Club with Tarrlok.

Tarrlok: Probably Physics. A difficult class, but he’s pretty good at explaining so most kids don’t struggle too much. His main focus is running student government, which he takes pretty seriously. Sometimes too seriously.

Unalaq: Teaches Psychology. The most pretentious teacher on campus. It’s literally so bad, that even other teachers avoid him. Amon abandoned his coffee still being brewed in the machine in the staff room cause Unalaq walked in and he didn’t want to be in a room with Unalaq again after he said that Amon’s outfit “looked like something stolen from the lost and found of a funeral home”. Unalaq sees it as “telling it like it is”.

Zaheer: Government and Politics. Tries to teach the class very well but also injects his own opinion into teaching a lot. The students find him scary but some also kinda think he’s hot. Also does Yearbook. Him and Senna run Mock Trial. Replaced the old Government and Politics teacher Hou-Ting after she retired. She was that one old teacher that made it a hobby to harrass students and constantly reminisced about when you could smack students.

P’Li: Math teacher. Much scarier than Zaheer. Plays her trash ass music very loudly while the kids work. Def yells at kids. She’s kind of funny when she’s in a good mood tho, and when she roasts kids it’s really funny cause it’s usually dead on. Her and Zaheer are those teachers that flirt a lot and you know they’re sleeping together.

Ming-Hua: Art. Loves drawing and, you guessed it, watercolor painting. Very chill and plays soft music but lets you listen to your own music. Super sarcastic and all the students eat it up. Literally a universal favorite. She runs Art Club and Fashion Club.

Ghazan: Guitar. Pretty cool teacher that definitely has some weird stories. All the students know he has a crush on Ming-Hua cause they flirt constantly, but he denies it. Runs E-Sports Club. Idk why I think that, it just feels right. Him and Ming-Hua are also the kinds of teachers kids become emotionally attached to.

Kuvira: Government and Politics also. Seems calm and reasonable, but is a total ass. Makes kids give up their phones, allows almost no talking, gives out more detentions a week than most teachers do in one year, and doesn’t allow for much discussion. Everyone wants her class cause she’s hot but most drop within the first week, to the point that counselors have to say no to some kids so they don’t have to get rid of the class altogether.

Bataar Jr.: Computer Lit teacher. None of the students respect him so they’ll play Minecraft the whole time or play inappropriate videos really loud. Doesn’t really put much effort into teaching, which for some kids is a dream, but for others is an annoyance. Him and Kuvira are the teacher couple that makes everyone say “wtf”. Literally no one knows why they’re together.

Izumi: Secretary/Attendance. Pretty much remembers everything and is super organized. She is the glue that holds the school together. Most students don’t know her name though cause she’s super quiet and works mostly behind the scenes. Whenever Zuko sends anyone her way though he reminds them of her name and to say thank you cause he recognizes how hard his daughter works to keep everything running smoothly. Izumi catches on to this and always manages to thank her dad with a nice tea and a hug.

Toph: Vice Principal. Scary as fuck. Doesn’t ever call kids’ parents cause she efficiently scares the shit out of every kid, so they never do whatever bad thing they were doing again. When she has to work dances, Katara always tries to get her to dance with her. She resists every time, but she always gives eventually. She’s happy to though, cause although she’ll never say it out loud, seeing Katara this happy at her old age warms her heart.

Katara: Health Clerk. Very sweet and everybody loves her. Sometimes kids pretend to feel sick just to talk to her. She doesn’t mind though cause a kid that has a tummy ache and a kid that needs to talk are both kids that need help, and she’s happy to offer whatever support she can. She also always offers to supervise dances when the school has them and always manages to bust a move.

Zuko: Counselor. Wants to be to students what his uncle was to him. Aang and Sokka were counselors too, some years ago. And while they could give some good nuggets of advice and offered the kids amazing support, they also would totally fuck up student’s schedules by accident cause those numbskulls were exactly that- numbskulls. So usually Zuko would have to fix that. He misses fixing their messes and, more importantly, he misses them (they aren’t dead, just retired). He hopes to retire soon too, cause he’s getting too old for this, but he secretly doesn’t want to retire just yet cause working at school allows him to see and spend time with Izumi. Since they’re both working, it’s not like they have too much time together, but even just her popping into his office to bring him tea or check in on how he’s doing that day brings a smile to his face that doesn’t leave for the rest of the day.

Raiko: Principal. After Toph stepped down cause she’s “too old for this shit” (her words), Raiko stepped in. The students aren’t a fan of him but he’s not terrible. And since Toph is still Vice Principal, she keeps him in check.

[mewtonian-physics]

Hello Penny! How have you been? Alright, I hope. I know it's been awhile, sorry. How is your job and school and professors and all that going?

I don't really have anything to say, I went to the store and got a compliment on my haircut, which was nice, just thought I'd check in with you, since it seems like you maybe haven't been feeling your best, and send a bunch of love your way.

Idk, I just really like you. You're super cool and interesting, and I like seeing you on my dash, you make my day better and I really want you to have a happy and contented life, like you deserve.

Also, have you seen those complications on YouTube of Chuuya screaming? My favorite is when you can hear him screeching in like an airplane before busting through the ceiling (when Daiza is in an attic with a gaint cake, I think?), like EEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

It always makes me laugh, he's so little and angry.

Anyways, be well - 🌻

hi!!! i've been okay :) classes are going pretty well, i'm REALLY enjoying the one law class i'm taking (stretches out my little hands for more) so in that regard i am just living my very best life. the rest of them are decent but it is hard to beat that one. i've actually started trying to take up poetry on the suggestion of a girl in one of my classes and i think i'm at least not horrible at it lol. i think prose is still more my style but poetry isn't half bad either, especially free verse because fuck rhyme and meter i do what i want.

unfortunately i do not have the job anymore :( it was a temporary position but wow they did not make it clear just how temporary it was going to be. i worked from thursday through to the saturday of the following week (except on sunday) and then that was it. so my contributions to the college tuition are not exactly skyrocketing. i did win a scholarship though, it's small but i take what i can get. why must college be sooooooo expensive the cruel hand of capitalism crushes me

i'm also considering signing up for a little show at my university i kind of want to try comedy... i might be awful at it but it could also be fun, who knows. i haven't made a real decision yet though i'm too anxious about possibly being bad at it lol

oooh hair compliments are some of my favorites. what kind of cut is it :0 would love to hear details.

thank you very much :) your asks always cheer me up, i love hearing from you and i hope you have a happy life too!

YES

CHUUYA NOISES ARE SO FUNNY

he'll just go 'HAH?!' and my day will instantly be improved. like of course he's gonna be yelling and screaming and such when he's literally being taken over by a god of destruction and calamity it's the fact that he keeps doing it all the time that just makes it perfect. and the SCREECHING i know EXACTLY what scene you're thinking of and it's one of my favorite examples. dazai's just sitting there with a whole little party set up complete with absolutely enormous cake (boy did the cake look good) and then just the quiet (at first) scream slowly getting louder and louder and the war between 'yay, chuuya's here' and 'oh god he's gonna come in through the window, goodbye cake' and you can SEE dazai having basically the same reaction i mean he sighs and looks towards the window like 'and i went to all this effort.'

i think the screaming is his internal rock star coming out. i mean he IS voiced by taniyama kishou, it's to be expected. (speaking of which, have you listened to any of his songs outside of the ones he did for bsd? because i've been listening to this one he wrote apparently way before bsd, 'sugar', and there's one part where it DIRECTLY MENTIONS chuuya (the real one) and it cracks me up. irl foreshadowing. plus it's just a catchy song) whole reason i'm weak for aus with chuuya as a singer is because it just already works. he might as well be. in my mind it is nakahara chuuya singing the bungou stray dogs openings. i manifest it.

also let's talk for a second about how i can count on one hand the amount of times chuuya yells about something that is completely unrelated to dazai. those two are a riot.

also also on that subject ranpo was so brave to pull that trick with the book like if he'd gotten even a little bit wrong he would have been so pulverized even yosano couldn't do anything. he would have been dust. this man intentionally pissed off someone who literally has a god of destruction inside of him. really brave... and also really stupid

he IS so little and angry though bsd wan was on point making him a chihuahua bc thats exactly the vibes. tiny loud and ferocious. i love him. one of the best characters in bungou stray dogs and that's just a fact. [claps] where is he asagiri show me the tiny angry man

[doubleshotofsomething]

Publicity Stunt

Part Four

[Part One<-- Find here]

Warnings: Swearing as usual. Trigger warnings??( just to prepare you, so be prepared). I think thats it?? 

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Reader is a fixer/Pr and longtime friend of Pepper. Post-endgame.

PS: Thank you guys for the support and feedback, your kind words are music to my ears(eyes bc i read them) and i cant explain how much it means to me. Thank you all so very much xxxxxxx

Scroll to the bottom for the next part

You stood on the tarmac as the Quinjet landed. Your personal assistant, Jonah, had arrived a few hours earlier and met the Avengers at the Senate hearing. You weren’t a fan of court procedures, any more than you were of politicians, so you sent Jonah – along with the lawyers you trusted – to the courthouse to ensure everything ran smoothly. Clint was a bit anxious when you told him your assistant was replacing you, Wanda refused to leave unless you were going with them, and Bucky spent the entire time asking about your male assistant.

“You planned this whole thing but you’re not showing up?” Clint argued, eyes flashing with betrayal.

Wanda agreed with him. “This is your thing! If anyone can convince people to do anything they don’t wanna, it’s you!”

“I’m not one for damselling—” Sam stopped pacing and took a breath- “but you’re turning me into one right about now.”

“This, Noah, person you were telling me about—” Bucky practically shoved the laptop in your face, a picture of your security’s supervisor stared back at you, “—he looks like a registered sex offender.”

You rolled your eyes, fixed the search, and pulled a picture of your assistant. You turned the laptop back to him and faced everyone else. “Jonah is a qualified attorney, and the team of attorneys that will be representing you are the best DC has to offer. You are in great hands.” You tried to reassure them, but your absence was clearly something that they weren’t okay with.

“Noah looks like Rumlow.” Bucky scowled, staring too closely at the screen. “He looks like Rumlow’s Hulk brother.”

“Looks like Drax’s long lost brother,” Sam added, peering over Bucky’s shoulder.

Clint joined in, clicking a few buttons and nodded. “He looks like he eats Senators for breakfast.”

“You work around Rumlow?” Bucky looked back at you, eyebrows furrowed. “Every single day, you spend time with this guy?”

“Jonah.” You corrected.

“He looks like a registered sex offender.”

“That’s not what sex offenders look like,” you scoffed, “you’d be surprised how many suits and ties are actual sex offenders.”

“Rumlow Noah is wearing a suit and tie.”

“Bucky, his name is Jonah,” you looked at him pointedly, “and it would do you justice if you remembered that. He’s a nice kid—”

“-registered sex offender—”

“—and he’s really good at what he does.” You glared at him for a moment longer before looking at everyone else, “I wouldn’t trust this part of the job on anyone else. He’s good. He’s great, and his team of attorneys are sharks. You—”

“Why do we need attorneys?” Clint asked, looking away from the laptop. “I thought this was a senate hearing.”

“While you’re at it, ask her about the security team of registered criminals she has on speed dial.” Bucky muttered, scrolling through more pictures of Jonah.

“What?” Wanda practically cried; eyes wide with panic.

“Oh, for fuck sake—” You inhaled deeply, “—the attorneys are for back up and the security is for the attorneys.”

Bucky, because he’s Bucky and his natural instinct is to make things difficult for you, scoffed. “It’s to get us out of there in case this is a trap.”

“A trap?!”

“Barnes!”

“Did you know Rumlow Noah had the third highest grade score in his class?”

It took far longer than expected, than necessary, to get them onto the Quinjet and to the hearing. Bucky was still attached to the laptop when he boarded, Clint was satisfied that you weren’t sending an intern with no experience, and Wanda was contemplating using her abilities on you. But, eventually, they departed for the city and left you with enough time to do your job, make a couple of phone calls and listen in on the senate hearings.

You weren’t a rookie, you had Jonah wear one of his bugged suits. This was the senate, after all, and you had to be ready for anything they could pull.

Jonah was a large man. His build caused controversy in the courtroom, juries thought him intimidating and witnesses found him unapproachable. His voice was far too deep, his face was far too intense, his looks were too menacing. His presence alone had scared witnesses into committing perjury, a few simple objections had caused him fines from contempt, juries ruled against his clients because of his daunting appearance.

Jonah was a very large man, but where others saw a beast, you saw brains. He was far younger than you, he had graduated from high school and law school far too early, and he was ready to make a difference. He could recite every word in the constitution, poke holes in the most ironclad of nondisclosure agreements, he could tell you all about each crime and how to elude being charged with it. The kid could get away with a Presidential assassination in broad daylight if he wanted to. But he looked like a Mafioso and appearance is everything in DC. So, when he lost a case – a case he should have won – you walked up to him and offered him a job.

Personal Assistant is what you both called his title, but he was much more than that. He was the reason you were good at your job.

“I’m guessing it all went well?” You raised an eyebrow at Jonah, the rest following suit.

Jonah simply shrugged, handing you a folder. “That shouldn’t even be a question.”

“Shit hit the fan.” Clint sighed.

“I’m making a list.” Bucky grumbled, idling a few steps away as he continued with his face shoved against the laptop.

“He pissed everyone off!” Wanda glared at him, “how is that not supposed to be a question?”

“Jesus—” Jonah rolled his eyes, dark brown glaring down at Wanda. “—you really think that was supposed to end well? It’s a senate hearing, with a bunch of powerful that were in the room with, arguably, people that are far more powerful than them. Your abilities, your avenging, everything about you already pisses them off.”

“What was the point of all that then?” Sam questioned, staring at Jonah like a lion ready to pounce on its prey.

“To piss them off,” Bucky added, shoving the laptop at you. “This is Rumlow’s classmate. She’s married, graduated top of her class and lectures at an Ivy League law school.”

You took the laptop and closed it shut. “The point of all this was to prove to everyone that the whole case is biased, that the entire senate – along with the accords – was based on the simple fact that they are biased.” You said, handing the laptop to Jonah’s anticipating hands and walking back inside.

“If we could prove bias to the general public,” Jonah continued as they all followed, “we could dismantle the entire case against you.”

“Sounds like a sex offender thing to say,” Bucky grouched, earning a warning look from you.

You placed the laptop on the kitchen counter, telling Jarvis to seal off every entrance to anyone without residential clearance. The rebuilt Compound was larger, but with less floors, the design was a unique mixture of every Avenger’s taste, except it was more of an armoury than it was a home. Each room had a secret compartment of weapons, and an exit route that led to either the garage or the woods, and the security system seemed to be engineered to withstand a nuclear war.

You had already set up a seating arrangement for them, their absence helped in getting a couple of things done, and you waited as everyone took a seat.

“Everything, from here on out, is gonna be war.”  You looked at all of them, hating the next words that were about to leave your mouth. “The whole media stint where I had you kissing babies and walking dogs, helping the needy, all that was just for the cameras. All that was just the first phase of what’s to come next. We can’t win against the Accords, we can’t win against a hundred and seventeen nations. But the people can.”

“This was never about public image.” Wanda stated, bitterness coating her words.

You shook your head solemnly. “You pissed off a lot of powerful people. They don’t care about who you are or how good your intentions—”

“They care about controlling you.” Jonah interjected. “The accords are the perfect example of that, and that’s why I had to piss them off.”

“You didn’t have to do anything.” Bucky growled at him.

“The UN ordered you shot on sight,” Jonah fired back, glaring at him, “that’s illegal and the exact opposite of what they’re supposed to be doing—”

“—Jonah had to rile them up, I told him to do so. Senate hearings are televised and public record, we needed it to have the highest ratings possible.” You added, “because, now, the senate hearing is going to turn into an International court case, where your charges will be presented before you and the court. Testimonials and all that jazz, basically the same bullshit that the Accords doesn’t afford you—”

“—which is illegal and violates a shit load of rights.” Jonah interrupted.

“From that moment forth, we present our case to the world.” You completed, eyes lingering a bit on Wanda for a moment longer.

“We’re gonna lose and go back to the raft.” She said, too sure of herself for your liking.

“The people won’t let us.” Bruce chuckled softly, shaking his head at you. The wheels were turning in his head and the pieces were finally fitting together perfectly. “That’s why you spent so much time on our public image, why you started an uproar in a senate hearing.”

Sam’s shoulders dropped at the realisation, the picture finally becoming clearer. “You’re evil.”

“I’m efficient.” You corrected, “and I don’t like losing. I don’t like it when good people are wronged, and I really hate the government enough to defame it.”

“The economy is gonna suffer, international relations are gon—” Bruce started, but you were not having any of it.

You scoffed. “The accords are a pretty way of saying slavery, so I don’t care.”

“Uh—” Bucky raised his hand slowly, “—call me old fashioned, but I’m really confused here.”

“We’re going to lose to the UN,” Wanda said, turning to face him, arms folded and face twisted in spite. “But she’s going to start a civil war within all nations, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it because people love us, and she made them think the government is evil.”

“You’re evil.” Clint mimicked Sam’s words. “You’re worse than the government.”

“Someone has to be.” You acknowledged, unashamed and unbothered.

You knew what the job description was when you signed up, and you knew the kind of soulless monster you were going to have to be when Pepper called. You left DC behind, a town of vultures, to defend people that weren’t accustomed to those vultures. It wasn’t just DC’s most elite politicians you were going against; it was the entire country; it was the entire world – nations with resources to the disposal that you couldn’t even begin to fathom. First world countries, with the means to make you disappear without a trace, second world countries with the power to make your death seem natural, third world countries that had lost far too much to care about moral code.

To win, your only weapon was to start a world war.

To succeed, your only strategy was to make the people fight it for you.

You weren’t dumb enough to think you could win against world nations. But you were smart enough to know where to hit for fatal damage.

“We’re about to face the world and call their leaders a bunch of criminals,” You finally said. “Clint, I had Happy fetch your wife and kids, they’ll be here in a few hours. Scott will be here as well, with his kid. The compound is the safest place they could be, right now. Until this is all over. Until—”

“—until they’re no longer at risk of being held, by the government, indefinitely.” Jonah added for you, “because we’re not idiots to think they’re safe in their own country. They can and they will be used against you.”

“You’re saying our government would arrest minors for crimes they didn’t commit?” Rhodes, for the first time since he sat in the room, spoke – disbelief cloaking his face.

“I’m saying they arrested Wanda, Clint, Scott and Sam for not signing a contract.” Jonah, a man you trusted with your very life, fired back without missing a beat. “Because that’s what this—” he waved the accords in the air, “—this sad excuse of a law that will never stand, is. A contract. Not a law that has been enforced, not an amendment, and definitely not legal. So, yes, I do strongly believe that a government capable of forcing an Army experiment, which resulted in the Abomination – the same government that violated Bruce Banner’s constitutional right; by illegally searching all his belongings without a warrant – is capable of arresting minors for shit they didn’t do.”

“He can tell you all about the rights and laws that the existence of the raft violates,” you said, “but that’s gonna require a shit load of coffee and a lot of ‘I told you so’s’ from Ol’ man Rogers. And that’s not something we’re all ready for.”

Wanda sat up quickly, gaining everyone’s attention. “Wait,” she examined you, something finally clicking in her head. “Those rights apply to Americans and I’m Sokovian."

You shrugged. “I pulled some strings—”

“—made an argument that you couldn’t be eligible for death penalty for treason, in this country, if you weren’t a citizen—” Jonah added.

“—because then that’s gonna be a whole international dispute, and you would be handed over to your own country for the trial—” You nodded.

“—and, man, do we hate not having blood for blood.” Jonah sighed, shaking his head. “I could name a couple of states that want your pretty little neck attached to the adios syringe—"

“—and no country is a fan of those international disputes. So—,” you pushed the green file, you had placed on the table, towards her. “—you became a citizen the moment I walked onto the compound.”

“Which makes you eligible for the same protection as everyone in this room.”

“Pure evil.” Rhodes gaped at you, completely awed.

“We can’t stop the Accords from happening, but we can sure as hell change it. From this day forward, you guys must do everything I tell you, word for word. You’re a team, what you do and how you act will affect all of us. I know what I’m doing, and I need you to trust that; trust that I can, and I will, get you through all of this. You don’t have to trust me, but you can rest easy knowing that I don’t start wars I can’t win.

“I may be evil,” you breathed, straightening your posture and making sure to look every one of them in eye. “But I’m the kind of evil you need, right now.”

There was pregnant pause, an eerie silence encompassing the entire room. “’Til the end of the line.” Bucky voiced softly, his ocean blues capturing yours in a gentleness you’ve never known.

“We’ve come this far,” Bruce said, nodding in agreement to Bucky’s declaration.

Sam shook his head. “We’re so screwed,” he whispered to Clint.

*

Pepper didn’t know your plan.

The whole thing was going to be hard enough as it was. You had arranged the empty rooms into guest bedrooms, Jarvis was rather helpful in that department, you had him direct the Avengers’ loved ones to their designated rooms. You made a list of things for Jarvis to inform them of – the basics of the compound and the PG rated reason they were there – and made sure to stock the place with every single necessity you could think, that they would need.

She would disapprove of it.

Asgard was already on standby, in the unlikely case that the Compound was compromised. You had asked their current leader, Valkyrie, for the assistance and she was more than ready to help. The Avengers were dear to Thor’s heart, so taking in their loved ones for protection was something Asgardians were more than happy to do.

She would hate you for it.

Wakanda was on standby for extraction as well. In the event that the Avengers would need an escape route, Nakia – a woman that was very pleased to know about your plan – had promised to help in any way possible. She, too, was not a fan of politicians imposing their agendas under the false pretence of enforcing the law.

“Woah, woah, woah—” Bucky gripped onto your arm, pulling you into a slow jog then a stop, “—slow down there, doll.”

You were struggling to catch your breath as you pulled your arm out of his grasp, wiping your forehead free of sweat with the sleeve of your shirt. You fanned your face, trying to find something to lean against, someplace to sit, somewhere to breathe. Because, damn it all to hell, you couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t breathe and you couldn’t think, and it was freaking you out.

“Y/N…” Bucky called out, gripping both of your shoulders and turning you to face him, “Y/N, come on, look at me.”

It’s too hot. Dammit, why is it so hot?

You tried to push him away, worming your way out of his hold, but that only succeeded in him tightened his grip.

Let go.

Molars grinding, hands fisted, you ducked out of what felt like an ironclad grip and backed away from him. You just needed to think, that’s why you went for a late afternoon jog alone, to think. The compound was too crowded; too many voices for you to focus, too many smells, too many distractions. Your room was no better, it was big enough to be a master bedroom, but it felt small – why did it feel so small?

When did it get so dark?

You tried sitting outside, thinking that fresh air would do the trick. But Bruce and Clint and Jonah were outside, talking about something… you were close enough to hear, you think you even made a comment… What were they talking about?

“Come on, sweetheart, look at m—hey, hey, I need you to look at me.”

Go away!

You just needed to think. You rubbed your throat, continuing down your path – it was your path, right? – and tried to swallow down the dryness. You must have been jogging for a while, it was getting difficult for you to see or focus on where you were going. You tried blinking, alternating between rubbing your eyes and your throat, hating that you didn’t bring a water bottle with you.

What were you missing?

“Y/N—”

Why was he still here?

You just needed a second. You just needed to look at things clearly, for his sake, for their sake. Just a second. That’s all you needed.

Safehouses were sorted, because you could never be too safe. Black folders were ready, because you could never trust the other team to play clean. Everyone’s loved ones were accounted for. So, what were you missing?

Think about Morgan.

That annoying little twinge snapped at you, in you, spreading across the left side of your chest. You didn’t even like children, so that shouldn’t even be a thought. It shouldn’t have been a thought coated in Pepper’s voice.

This is exactly why, you thought, this is exactly why I don’t mix work with friendship.

You stopped walking when you could no longer see where you were going, reaching out to find the nearest tree. You couldn’t even hear your own footsteps as you did that, you couldn’t hear anything except the loud thrumming in your ears.

There was something in the distance, some sort of movement maybe – couldn’t be sure, you chose to pass it off as nature and focused on catching your breath. Your muscles felt tense, you blamed it on the jog – because you’re a walker, not a jogger. Your lungs were aching and each gasp for air seemed to not be enough, every deep breath you tried to take felt like it was twisting your chest.

You felt something crawl up your arm, an unwelcome heat that you recoiled away from, moving away from whatever it is. You mind shouted spider and you didn’t hesitate to speed walk away from the pest, but it wouldn’t stop clinging to you, pulling at you, dragging you back with its callous clutch.

You went to flick it away with your other hand, dread settling into the pit of your stomach. “Get off me,” you couldn’t recognise your own voice, drenched in trepidation as your hand tried to swat away at the thick-skinned creature.

Another one gripped at your hand, pressing it to your chest as you began to heave in an unadulterated panic. The iron grip on your arm moved to your back, unconcerned by the fight you were putting, and you were forced into something hard.

“Shhh,” Bucky soothed, wrapping an arm around your writhing figure whilst moving his other to stroke your head, “it’s okay, just breathe.”

This wasn’t you. This couldn’t be you. His shark, his girl, his little darling, his sweetheart couldn’t be the one that tried to fight him off. You couldn’t be this shivering wreck in his arms. No… it couldn’t be you.

But it was you. He could tell it was you just by the sound of your footsteps, so he followed the sound through the trees until he found you, taking a path he knew you’d never been on before.

His shark was shaking in his arms; he could pick you out in a dark room by your smell alone, and your disorientated steps struck an intrusive feeling in him, the kind he’d felt after the snow.

His girl, in the dark and alone, too scared to even let him hold her. This couldn’t be the woman he fell in love with, could it?

“Focus on my voice, I know it’s difficult, but—” he took a breath as he tightened his grip, “—you just need to breathe. Okay? Breathe with me, doll, in and out, slowly—”

He felt you tense, felt as your thrashing turned to uncoordinated twitching, felt as you tried to focus on what he was telling you to do. It took a while before you could mimic his breathing, he didn’t blame you – figured you were just realising what was happening, and even then, your breathing was off.

“That’s it,” he praised, “that’s my girl. You’re doing so good, darling, just keep focusing on my voice—”

You could barely make out his voice, the cloud in your head was too much, but the quick thuds that were drumming against your hand – each one strong as the other – pierced through the disarray. You moved away your hand, having been placed there from your attempt to push him away, and pressed your forehead against the area, forcing yourself to focus on at least that.

This wasn’t you. This didn’t happen to you. But here you were, in Bucky’s arms, hating yourself for letting this happen.

One sense at a time, your own voice rang in your head, that’s how you’ll get back control.

You shut your eyes, tapping your finger to beat of his heart, choosing to focus on your sense of touch first – not that it was a choice. Your first instinct was supposed to be listening, but your disarrayed mind ignored his voice, and went straight for the feel of his heart against your hand. The muscle beating against his chest, something you couldn’t hear, was the only thing you were capable of recognizing in that moment.

The thrumming managed to soothe away the ache in your chest and your feet, the feel of something soft and damp pressing against the crown of your head repeatedly managed to help cool you down, all that was left was for the slight stinging on your throat to disappear – but water could fix that.

You can’t do it all at once, Stark. You remember telling Tony, his panic attack had rendered him speechless, the first of the few that had. Divide and conquer, just like I taught you.

He had listened, focused on your instructions as you helped pull him out of the deep, then pretended he had it all under control – that he could have managed just fine without your interference. You laughed, accustomed to his humour, knowing it was only a defence mechanism, then told him about how it wasn’t something to be ashamed of. You told him that it was a normal thing, a reasonable reaction, to the horrors he had seen. You told him, insisted, that it wasn’t something to be embarrassed about because it happened to the best of us.

You didn’t think you’d have to tell yourself that.

Best of us, never included you.

You were the one that got people through them; helped them cope, taught them the little techniques that they benefited from.

You never thought you would have to use them on yourself.

Next Part

[glazeery]

Greek Mythology Sims 4 Legacy

Hi guys! So I am quite a fan of Greek Mythology and I was looking for a legacy challenge involving the Greek Gods.

So first a couple of things, this is not based on the family tree of the Greek Gods. Since it's quite a difficult family tree. I based the characters mostly on what I knew and could find. As well as they are based slightly on the characters from a webtoon called Lure Olympus.

Further more it's like wanting to create Olympus. So you pick a neighborhood and everyone of the Olympus family lives there, unless stated other wise.If the neighborhood is full, you can of course kick some people out, some generations have loads of kids... 

Also a thing that I thought I would let you know, you don't have to make every god or goddess the gender they are supposed to be. Since I prefer to have female heirs in a legacy, I will mostly have female characters. But if you prefer more guys, be my guest and even if you wanna keep to the genders, it's all up to you!As for the stories as well, I do have some specific things, but you can make it all your own!

I didn't keep it basegame friendly, I am sorry. I think I used most of the packs, but if you don't have packs I use, you can defenitly decide for yourself what to do with the gen. For the ones who find it difficult to think of something, there is someone who made the challenge a little easier and mostly basegame friendly, so you can check her out. You can also send me a message and I would be happy to help out!

Since this is my first legacy and I have not tried it yet, I am working on it! I would love to see what you make of it, share it with me on #GlazeeryGreekLegacy

Please give me some feedback and let me know of it's actually do-able...

I will be trying my own legacy with you guys, I’ll be posting it over here. I don’t know how many posts and how many times a week, but we will see!

Now what actually is the challenge? First of you can start how ever you want. You wanna do it like a legit legacy be my guest. You wanna start of with a house and some money, sure thing.You can also decide for yourself if you allow cheating. For me I do cheat preganancy to make sure I have a female heir and I start of with a home. Thats it for cheating on my part. 

Cheating the sims aspiration, skills or job is NOT allowed. Since that is part of each generations challenge.

The appearance doesn't matter, I put colors next to the generations since I like berry sims and I bet more people do. In the Webtoon the greek gods all have a colorfull appearance, so I wanted to give people the change to give their sims that colorfull vibe as well.You have to complete each generations aspiration and career, unless stated otherwise.Life span can be set on whatever you feel would be best.

I think thats about it for the rules? Help me out if you know some more, thanks! 

On to the generations! For now it's a 10 generation challenge. I do wanna give people a change to continue their story, so if you want me to add specific gods, let me know. I would love to add more!

Generation One

Zeus - Purple

God of the sky and weather and King of the Gods

You have been a fighter all your life and you have fought for many things, like your freedom. Now that you finally have it you start planning out your own life. You fall in love, but as you love your spous. You can't help but feel attracted to other sims.

Aspiration: Serial Romantic

Traits: Romantic, hot-headed & Ambitious

Career: Astronaut

Max out the logic skill and fitness skill

Have a weather machine, since you are the god of the weather

Be the leader of a club, have a meeting every so often

Get married early on in your life

Have at least two children with spouse

Have many affairs and have children with them

Have twins with bestfriend of your spouse. Have affaire and twins send of far away from your neighborhood

You can decide if you stay together with spouse

You can decide what you do with the children from your affairs

Your Legacy continues with one of you and your spouses childrens

Generation Two

Poseidon - Green

God of the sea

You have always felt misunderstood. Like you didn't belong. You always felt a strong desire for the ocean, which nobody in your family really had. So you decide to find out what it is.

Aspiration: Angeling Ace

Traits: Child of the Ocean, hot-headed & Self-Assured

Career: Diver or Fisherman

Max out fishing skill and charisma skill

Become a mermaid/merman by eating mermadic kelp

Like your father you can't resist the beautiful sims who walk around olympus. Have many relationships.

Marry a mermaid/merman.

Have an open relationship

Have at least four children with your spouse

Have a swimming pool (unless you live in Sulani)

Make a dolphin friend.

Generation Three

Hades - Blue

God of wealth and the underworld

You and your siblings were very close, but something was a little different with you. You got into lots of fights and people thought you were mean. As you grew older, you believed what they said, and acted it out.

Aspiration: Fabulously Wealthy

Traits: Evil, Materialistic & Loner

Career: Business

You don't have to complete the aspiration, but you can try!

Max out the mischief skill and logic skill

Have one or more dogs

Have a graveyard, you can put deceased family members in it. If you want a big collection, you can collect some more

Have a failed relationship with someone who is also evil

Keep a sim captive, needs to be opposite of you

Marry the sim you keep captive and start a family with that sim

Generation Four

Aphrodite - Lavender

Goddes of love

You grew up in a loving family and got all you could ask for. You lived your best life. But once you where on your own, you couldn't find the love you desired.

Aspiration: Soulmate

Traits: Romantic, Self Absorbed & Jealous

Career: None or babysitter until you find the one

Max out wellness skill

Max out baking skill

Take a lot of care for your appearance, since you are the most attractive god/goddes

You date many different sims, but all relationships fail.

Having kids with failed relationships is optional.

You always help people out with their bad relationships.

Once you find the one, marry as soon as possible.

You become a stay at home mom/dad to take care of the house and you (future) children.

Have a maximum of seven children with spouse

Generation Five

Demeter - Purple/Green

Goddes of harvest

You love being outside and you love nature as it is. You always wanted to have a garden where you could grow all your favorite vegetables and fruits.

Aspiration: Freelance Botanist

Traits: Loves the outdoors, Perfectionist & Vegetarian

Career: Gardener

Max out the gardening skill and cooking skill

Have a big garden where you get most of your food from

Marry at an early age

Get divorced as an adult

Have four children, one set of twins

You care a lot about your children, maybe a little too much...

Prepare lunches for you children to take to school

Have family activities every season

Generation Six

Hera - Yellow

Goddes of family and marriage

You had an amazing childhood and a great mom to take care of you. You aspire to be as good, if not even a better parent then her.

Aspiration: Super Parent

Traits: Family Oriented, Jealous & Romantic

Career: none

Max out the charismatic skill

Get the weather machine from gen 1, as you can control it as well

Marry as soon as you become a young adult to your childhood bestfriend. But do it in secret.

Have one child as you always wanted your own little family

Have a love/hate relationship with spouse

Re-marry in public and invite as many people as you can.

Have three more children after re-marrying - one set of twins

Have spouse cheat on you, but stay together through it all

Generation Seven

Apollo or Artemis - The Twins

Artemis - Purple

Goddes of the moon and hunting

You are not interested in love, as you saw your parents relationship, you decided it would be best to stay alone.

Aspiration: Outdoor Enthusiast

Traits: Loves the outdoors, hot-headed & dog lover

Career: scout as child & teen, take on odd jobs as YA

Max out herbalism skill

Have a dog with the hunter trait. Let the dog hunt for you

Go camping every season, except for winter

Be super close to twin

Never marry and adopt a child

Apollo - Purple

God of the sun and music

You see your parents as role models. You love them and want to be just like them. You love attention and sims know it.

Aspiration: Musical Genius

Traits: Music lover, hot-headed & snob

Career: Entertainer (music branch)

Master two instruments

Love meeting new sims, especially very beautiful sims

This sim can be famous, if you have get famous! Or the road to fame mod

Be super close to your twin

Have many relationships

Marry when you find the one

Have three children, they don't have to be from spouse

Generation Eight

Eros - Pink

God of love

You always were very cheerfull and excited about loads of things. But mostly you loved the idea of love.

Aspiration: Soulmate

Traits: Cheefull, Romantic & Family-Oriented

Career: Style Influencer

Have a close and strong relationship with your mother

If you picked Apollo as last gen, be close to one sibling

Come short of love as a child/teen

You fall in love with someone your mother hates

Run away from home with the one you love get married to the one

Your mother has a change of heart and turns out to be happy for you

Have at least two children

Generation Nine

Athena - Orange

Goddes of war, art and wisdom

You always wanted to learn as much as you can and do as much as you can. You love to learn and create.

Aspiration: Renaissance Sim

Traits: Genius, Art Lover & Ambitious

Career: Militairy

Max out the painting skill and logic skill, plus two other skills of your choice

Get an accidental pregnancy - only have one child

Mentor your child

Never get married

Since you have been busy with learning, you don't have many friends

Final Generation

Peresphone - Pink

Goddess of spring and the underworld

You have had a great childhood and you thought you were ready to go out in the big world of Olympus, but you were wrong.

Aspiration: Freelance Botanist - can be changed after marriage

Traits: Outgoing, loves the outdoors & ambitious - outgoing can be changed after marriage

Career: none

You wanted to live on your own early one, so you moved in with a family friend as a teen.

Get "kidnapped" as a YA

You start to fall in love with the person who kidnapped you

Marry your kidnapper

Have two children

Once married, you can do whatever you desire

That’s it for now! Let me know what you think of it and share your stories with me! As I said this is my first legacy challenge I made, so if you can, help me out!

Hope you guys like it and try it out!

[artisticallymusical]

Consequences

They smile wide,

Their teeth are white like snow.

Their lips are red. The way they flow.

Their eyes are gorgeous. Oh how they glow.

They smile wide.

They do not hide,

Their bellies show beneath their tops.

Their shorts, they show a hell of a lot.

Their heels, their shoes, they put them on top.

They do not hide.

And yet they lie.

They suck in every inch of air.

“They’re mean comments, How come you don’t care?”

“Ew. Not enough makeup!” “Go get some better hair!”

And yet they lie.

It’s two in the morning and they can’t get to bed.

They hear the screaming of the wind and those comments in their head,

And they know it’s wrong and it won’t fix a thing, but it’s better then going to bed and dreaming those nightmares again.

So it's one or maybe two. We’ll stop at ten or twenty-two.

But the reality is, words have consequences.

They got quieter, but thats okay. Maybe their laughter just walked away, but it’ll be back another day. So what?! They’re a little quieter.

Their nights got longer, but that’s okay. They’re tennagers just texting away. But what if they’re not? Well they look just fine. They’re nights just get a little bit longer.

They got a bit bigger. That’s not okay. We can’t be seen with them, just walk away. Don’t say anything, look away. They got a bit bigger.

Their sleeves got longer but that’s okay. It’s the middle of winter and what can they say? The shorts are too short on their big fat legs. Their sleeves got a bit longer.

They’re gone for a month, or two, or three, but nobody notices that they’re gone lately.

The text's mean nothing in a time of hurt or rage, but it still meant something. It hurt there hearts, they felt the pain.

Why does it matter that it’s not face to face? Were the words digitized? Is there no definition connected to what they say?

They wanted help but got drama. Wanted friends but got foe. Why hurt instead of heal? Why do they shove them? Do they not feel?

And slowly they disappear.

But the reality is, words have no consequences.

So they grapple with hope and they grapple with faith.

They gets skinner. That means pretty so now their friends stay. Now they’re the yellers, the rumor spreader, burying the self hate that stays.

Because today's reality is, words don’t really have any consequences.

The scars on their wrists? Cat scratches.

The bones at the hips? A new trend.

The botox and implants? Mere enhancements.

Because 20, 30 years ago, those words, those people, never got any consequences.

They smiled wider,

Their teeth were once white like snow.

Their lips were red. The way they used to flow.

Their eyes were once gorgeous. Oh how they once glowed.

“Are you okay?” “Oh yes! I’m very happy!”

Because nobody cares or wants to talk about what “isn’t” there or what can’t be seen, and in the end, there are no consequences. Right?

This is a poem I made for English class a few months ago. I wrote this poem fairly quickly and, if I’m 100% honest, I wrote this poem during lunch on Tuesday in only 10-15 minutes. This is because, and a lot of people know this because it is basically all I talk about, but I’ve been through a few things in life I would have rathered I didn’t. I have major ADHD issues which started when I was diagnosed with at 8. I have BPD, OCD, a Generalized severe anxiety disorder, major impulse control issues, anger issues, abandonment issues, the list goes on. I’m not looking for pity or sympathy. Although this isn’t true for all the 7.53 billion people on earth, the reality is, not many people care. Or they’re to busy to care, you've heard the excuses. Many people don't truly care, not until it’s them. I live in a first world country, in a safe home with a loving, accepting family, and go to school with amazing friends and teachers. I do not have to worry about stepping on a landmine or getting shot or being kidnapped or assaulted on my way to school and home. I do have to worry about my mental health, my school work, relationships, eating habits, weight, looks, daily habits, social position, etc. My belief is this. When you take away war, destruction, political disaster, sever 3rd world country type poverty, and you just leave society; In a first world country, you are left with mental health, bullying problems, racism, political debates, fake news, drama about stuff that does not matter, at all, despite how it affects people. The biggest problem in Canada is that we don’t want to deal with any of it. “Your kid has mental health issues and wants to die? Doesn’t know how to socialize? Can’t read or write? Your kid is not my kid, sorry. Do your grandparents have dementia? Schizophrenia? Alzheimer's? Sorry, not my problem. You're broke? Poor? Have a family? Dog? Used to fight for our country? Well, you should’ve fixed yourself when you got back. It’s not my fault your poor.” This is a common occurrence. Nowadays no one will say you have to be perfect but you still do. Nowadays we have pink shirt day but the rule “snitches get stitches” runs the large majority of school systems because GOD forbid you stand up for what’s right if it deems you ‘uncool’. This is despite the fact that it is proven that over time the bullying, stress to be perfect, keeping up with family issues and bills mentally affects the person, and yet, nobody cares until it’s them. We just say we do because nobody wants the label of being uncaring or selfish or just outright mean sometimes, because GOD forbid you’re not perfect or loved by all or have 1000+ followers on Instagram; the basis of which is to literally judge people by their photos, and then decide whether or not you like them enough to follow them. There are so many rules in first world society, so many guidelines and social laws, but nobody wants to talk about them. “Consequences” is about just that. It mentions an eating disorder, insomnia, self-harm, bullying, social media, avoidance, faith struggles etc. Then it ends with the fact that we talk about how horrible it is to call someone fat or ugly or to tell someone to kill themselves, but more often than not, nothing happens or nobody does anything. My question to society is: when did we get so judgmentally that we do things to judge whole groups.? Example: we as a society have turned the word “Emo” into a negative thing, or an insult. Emo means emotional or overly emotional. We as a society now judge people for being or having too many emotions. Why? That is not the only example, but I hope “Consequences” challenges that thinking. Repost this so that those who need support can access it. Or maybe send it to someone directly to show your support. I want everyone of the 7.53 billion people out there that either have serious, mild or little to no mental health issues, as well as those just going through a rough patch or bad day, to know that even if 7.53 billion people don’t care, I do.

[yvngbin]

hello i’m arriving to the party an entire day late and this is Not Surprising at All to anybody who knows me slightly well because i’m late to everything. said late writer is ya boy , felix  ! i’m 20, i use he / him pronouns, annnd you don’t wanna know about me, you want to know about actual Nerd incarnate , yongbin .

his stats are here ,  bio is being rewritten because my dumbass deleted it from my drive , and all i have left to say is that you can like this if you want me to message you on here or discord to plot instead, since i’m usually faster on there … usually …

note: talks of surgery / birth defects,  &  kinda nsfw

⦑ felix. / 20. / gmt. / he/him. ⦒ woah ! tell me i did not just see cho yong bin walk past us, they’re the child of the cho family right ? they’re twenty three now, so i wonder if they’re here training to become an anarchist hacker. i heard they’re really intuitive & vexatious, so i’d say stay away from them unless you really wanna try your luck. no wonder they’re so notorious though, with the face of byun baekhyun i’d be interested in them as well. anyway, back to what i was saying. - yongbin, pain in the ass, and his most common sobriquet, zero ( name’s inspired by binary code btw ) , was a self taught anarchist hacker , but he sure as hell hasn’t been doing it for free all this time. he’s immensely adept and writes concise code and thoroughly enjoys annoying people and wreaking havoc in that precise order.

- hacker is kind of a blanket term, bin’s speciality was in blackmail, identity theft, exploiting vulnerabilities in various networks and systems, and causing all sorts of chaos online. when he was younger and before he was intimately familiar with the academy, he offered out his services to online rebel groups ( both good and bad ) and wasn’t officially apart of any system or group.

- this was subject to change a few years later when he was caught out on a slight mistake tracing back to his ip, assessed by an official representative of the school, who was impressed by his abilities and offered him an ultimatum: to join the academy or go to a detention camp.

- behind the screen bin was born with a pretty serious congenital heart defect. he needed surgery to survive, if only temporarily. every ten years or so, he’d have to do the same, with more or less no guarantee that they would all be successful. ( i would like to think that when he joined the academy some sort of technology maestro has helped him w / his respiratory issues so lmk if there’s a potential plot link there )

- bin is also an orphan who went through a very jaded system . he never knew his parents and frankly doesn’t care to know them, but little does he know that they have been tracing him from birth and were the sole reason why he got his place in the first place, ultimately unable to take care of him when their careers, both arms dealers, were too dangerous for a kid. his craft and experiences with life has made him instinctively cynical about his parents’ generation so like.. trusting an institution full of teachers their age was not and would never have been an ‘ideal’ for him. 

- his part time job used to be at a pc repair shop and he liked working there a lot, most people would question why he’d ultimately then go on to ruin a life he was happy with just to constantly risk getting into trouble. yongbin’s answer ? Because he’s Chaotic Neutral Thats Why

- socially, surprisingly unlike how most hackers are portrayed as nerds w sellotape on their glasses n a pocket protector ( he has a pocket protector but thats besides the point ) zero is outgoing in school and onwards, liked seeing what other people were interested in, pushing boundaries and keeping up with his friends just by listening and absorbing information.

- he isn’t exactly well liked, because his brain to mouth filter malfunctioned a lot of times which caused friction, But he definitely knows how to make and maintain friendships if you can handle him vanishing off the face of the earth and replying to your text from two weeks ago at 4 am like wyd

PERSONALITY

- zero’s life has mostly been not very fun, and he definitely realises this, but he’s not really the type to sit around and cry about it. mostly, he tries to take it with a stiff upper lip and a good sense of humour. he’s snarky and dry and enjoys getting into cyber-wars with other comp nerds in his limited friendship group. he definitely also enjoys sending lil viruses to other ppl in hearst just to let you know just how much your firewall sucks

- he’s got a real bad habit of getting wayyy in over his head with things. he’s like, a lil bit of a troublemaker — a back-talking, muttering under his breath, sneaking into places he shouldn’t, kind of troublemaker, but nothing too offensive. however, he sometimes gets into Actual Trouble because he makes the world’s worst choices and follows the world’s worst people’s advice. his personal motto is, “oh fuck. why?”

- he can be affectionate and immensely appreciative of anyone who’s genuinely kind toward him, even if his pride won’t let him come right out and say so. he’s p creative and resourceful — definitely can think you out of a pinch, even if he’s not so great at solving his own shit.

- friend wise, he’s attentive and thoughtful; sharp as a tack, funny as anything, and would totally rather help you out with your problems than get into deep discussions about his because opening that big ol book of issues is not gonna be fun for Anybody - romantically he’s inwardly pansexual for a long while but to people around him that probably.. wouldn’t be that big of a surprise. don’t talk to him about real love though he really is a computer machine with 0 emotions in that realm

tinie headcanon list because ive been slowly gathering them in my head for Days

-  has a handful of piercings on his ears , but the one he’s known for most is his labret piercing

- has a chameleon called cookie and donates to a dog shelter wherein his favourite stray dog ( known as flash ) lives. and yes he’s naming them after computer terms. no he wont Reconsider

- proud owner of 1 terabyte of hentai stored on his external hard drive that he’d gladly d*e for n is not ashamed of it in the slightest this zone is kink shame free !!!!

- loves to go exploring around the grimier parts of the academy and places you rlly wouldn’t expect him to be to clear his mind. abandoned classrooms, warehouses, etc.

- talk to him about conspiracy theories about alien life forms for a friend

- has absolutely awful hand eye co-ordination despite it playing in to a big part of their training so just know he’s probably dying first, or just teach him to throw a punch and not somehow hurt himself ? Blease

- sticks his tongue out while he’s hacking or doing anything that requires concentration. can’t multi-task and will ignore everything in his general surroundings to give 110 percent to whatever he’s doing.

- is a scorpio so sorry u cant trust anything he says i dont make the rules the astrological gods do

that’s all i’ve got up to now and i hope this gives you a bit of background into what he’s about. i think i’ll finish here before i write more trash so [ hacker voice ] im out

[possibilistfanfiction]

Tell us about your growth as a person since you've been on Tumblr. What advice would you have for your younger self? Happy new year!

alright well first i would like to tell my younger self to just fucking chill. honestly, bc things won’t always hurt so much or be so bad &, like, it’ll be cool. don’t be so pretentious, let urself be silly more, don’t punch walls bc ur mom is an asshole, just go kiss someone beautiful & know its ok. i would also tell my younger self that its ok to eat until ur full. esp in new york bc my god the food is killer. i would tell myself that ur body will still be kinda confusing but at least u will know why, so thats good. i would also send my younger self like a billion pics of stevie my beautiful sweet girl!!!!! if i could i would send my younger self the entire melodrama album & the børns song ‘i don’t want u back’ in like fall 2014 (me @me: its time to let go of this endless summer afternoon/i sleep better than every night u were lying next to me). i would tell myself that halsey is still alive in 2017 which honestly is a fucking surprise lol. i would tell myself that charli is gonna drop two (2) mixtapes in 2017 so like, be excited for that.

in all seriousness tho i would tell my younger self that ur gonna make the best friends & fall in all kinds of fucking love. ur gonna go to a mid 2000s night at babys all right bc u live in brooklyn & spend hours laughing & SCREAMING avril lavigne. ur gonna order ur favorite greek food & drink shitty wine on the floor & watch a lot of scandal & u will be rly happy. u will be sad sometimes too, u will be on the M train on the williamsburg bridge between brooklyn & manhattan & it’ll hurt to miss someone & u will cry on the subway to lorde but thats ok & real & it doesn’t always hurt, u get to go home & stevie who will lick ur tears & wiggle her little butt when u tell her ur going to take her on a walk. u will live by water, ur lips wont split when u smile like they did in the desert. u will read books u love & u will TEACH books u love! ur kids will love u bc u respect them but u also laugh w them so much, they’re profound & they’re delightful & they will change ur life. u will be stable for, like, at least 4.5 years, & u won’t self harm & u will get lots of flower tattoos & ur arm is dope & girls fucking love it. u will get to kiss people who don’t break ur heart. u will like beer, ipas, even tho u probably hate it now. u still don’t rly know what good wine tastes like but u do know what good whiskey tastes like which probably counts for something. teen vogue is gonna be so amazing ur gonna cry & even tho politics are literally such a mess rn ur gonna have so much faith in the future. lady bird is gonna come out & singlehandedly make u love film again. don’t go see shape of water on christmas tho bc she fucks the fish (important!). summer won’t always feel manic, winter won’t always feel lonely. u will still like it best tho & that’s ok too. u will have enough money to take little trips to see ur friends & u always pay ur rent on time & u work rly hard for it & tragically u will have to get up at 6 am most days but u will be a little bitch & let urself get concierge laundry. i would also tell myself to fucking inVEST in a good pair of black jeans! i would also make it v clear to my younger self that u live in brooklyn! new york city! u go on dates to the met & the museum of natural history in the snow & get to walk through central park & its fucking wild & so cool. one day after ur kids did rly well on their midterms u will be teaching a unit on the revolutionary war & who it Actually benefitted & it will be a dress down day so ur in vans & a stay home club sweater that says ‘happy alone’ on it, standing on a desk while ur kids (28 of them) shout ‘wealthy free white men’ & at that moment ur principal, ur AP, their bosses, & five other teachers from another school will walk in to watch u teach & u will just have to laugh

basically. u get to be mostly happy. u have friends that feel like family, that feel like they have always been a part of the best things u are. u will have literally the best dog in the world & she will teach u all abt how to be gentle w urself & ur rly rly good at taking care of her, which will mean a lot. lorde will put out another album.

its all gonna be ok.

[clown-bait]

29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) Chapter 2.5

Feelings in coming! The trash-pire is gonna realize some things about herself in this chapter. Some of them involve coulrophilia and some of them involve human meat. Possibly a mix of both. Its a bit fluffy but theres also gore. So the best of both worlds. 

WARNINGS: fluff, gore, teen death, clown smoochin.

Chapter 2.5

what are feelings.

It'd been two weeks since she had moved in. At first the adjustment was hard not only was Leech living with the fact that the creatures from her nightmares were all real and living in the same town she was also becoming one of them. Everyone called her Leech now for some reason not that she minded it though, the name felt fitting. Her transition was taking the hardest toll on her she had hunger that she could not satisfy no matter what she ate, her skin was losing color and her hair was coming out in large clumps. Dracula was a great guide through all this explaining that she once she makes her first kill she will complete the transformation and rise as undead. Of course shed need to die first. That lovely detail that terrified her to no end. But she was glad someone was helping her at least.

Her other flatmates were fine Tiffany was quickly becoming a great friend of hers and she adored Leatherface like a brother. Even Chucky and Freddy were inviting her out with them to cause mayhem. The only one she was having trouble with was the damn clown.  

Pennywise was a difficult one to read, at one minute he would be casual with her often teasing her sometimes making her laugh, the next he'd either be terrifying her or extremely angry. Unpredictable was an understatement. He definitely was the most interesting of her flatmates he didn't actually live in the house, his home being deep in the sewer. No one had been in his lair and Leech always wondered what it looked like. She often caught herself looking over at him watching his movements when he interacted with others, something was always off about him but he put a lot of effort into being normal. If she had to describe their relationship she say it was mostly competitive, their favorite past time being the weird game of insults going between them. It had gotten so bad that game night had become a total disaster the two always went on a war path to destroy the other, to the point where Freddy would yell at them to get a room already.

And then there was the staring! She’d always catch him staring at her when he thought she wasn't looking. Almost like he was trying to figure something out about her but was so lost in thought his eyes would drift apart. Usually this was either when he made her laugh or when they were on good terms with each other. It was quite bizarre.

Today Leech was coming home from another failed day of handing out resumes. She was applying for any culinary position she could find hoping that her not finishing school wouldn't matter too much. After the look the manager gave her at the one five star place in town she wasn't that hopeful.

When she stepped inside the house was silent. It felt abandoned like the first time she ever opened the door. It was probably Penny planning to scare her again then do that weird sniffing thing he did whenever he got her good.  But the jump never came.

“Hello?” the vampire called out

“Guys? You home?”

She shrugged and made her way to the kitchen it'd had been a long day and she was starving again. If the clown wanted to scare her he'd have to wait till shed eaten something. As she approached the entrance she hear a terrified wail, causing her to gasp and press herself against the wall. There was pleading and crying now followed by…laughter? “Penny?” she whispered “You better not be pulling your usual shit you asshole I'm not in the mood”

More laughter, panic and crying echoed through the house. It was a symphony of terror and anxiety. “so you fancy yourself an artist little boy? Want to come paint Pennywise's house without his permission. naughty naughty!” the clown was talking to someone. Leech crept closer to the doorway.

“I like to paint too little boy. How about you help me paint my kitchen hm? I was thinking a fresh coat of red.”

Oh god was he? Leech heard a scream and a sickening crunch just as she looked around the corner. She saw Pennywise hunched over a smaller form. It was a teen boy hanging limp in his claws. The lifeless eyes of the corpse stared back into Leech’s own. She wanted to be disgusted. She wanted to turn away and cry. Shed never see someone die before let alone someone so young. Living with murderous monsters she saw her fair share of bodies, she was used to that by now, but she never watched it happen. What she did next though disgusted her the most. She didn't turn away. She didn't cry or retch. No something awful awoke in her and she stood in the doorway watching in fascination the puddle of blood growing larger. She swore she could smell it savory rich like the flavor of umami. She was so hungry.

Leech didn't notice she was watching him for too long nor did she realize she was panting like a starving animal. God he was….impressive. Seeing the clown in such a primal state was captivating for her and her own instinctual urges began to spread a warmth through her that tingled the very pit of her stomach. The darkness that was awake and writhing within the young vampire was screaming at her to join him to be like him to hunt, to kill, to feed. He was a perfect predator and she was just discovering she might be too.  Pennywise ripped a chunk of flesh from the body which was quickly becoming unrecognizable much to the human side of her’s relief. He growled in delight tossing his head back enjoying the taste of his meal. Leech stepped closer still in her trance. Thats when he saw her. They locked eyes and he studied her expression, she wasn't afraid she was..…something else. Interesting.

“O-Oh I….didn't know you were um…. w-working.”

The clown stood up and crossed the room. Getting uncomfortably close to her. He grabbed her arm and inhaled her skin. “You're not afraid…..Does this not scare you, human?”

Leech whispered her response almost struggling to get it out “I-Im not human any more”

The clown leaned in close to her face and sniffed again. “No. You're clearly not.” he gave her a wicked grin. She felt his hot breath on her face those primal urges shooting through her brain and chest like electricity. “You smell different.” he hissed “somethings changed, you no longer stink like meat.” he emphasized that last syllable sending a small shiver up Leech’s spine. He was close to her again sniffing her skin like a dog hot on the trail. “So sweet… So warm.” he was mumbling. Leech could smell the thick wet blood on his lips, all she wanted right now was to taste them to run her tongue along his blood soaked mouth. What the hell was wrong with her? He was glaring down at her studying her with curiosity as if sensing something was wrong his beautiful yellow eyes flicked down at her lips and back to her own a questioning look on his face. Oh god was he reading her mind? Instinct overtook her and she leaned in closer, the clown didn't move confused by her actions. Leech’s lips touched his for a moment. Soft. She thought. Pennywise pulled away quickly staring at her with wide eyes. “What the hell was that?” he shouted as he turned a shade of pink shocked and confused by the action. Leech looked at him in terror from what she just did. “I-I-I um the hunger it- it just- it took control-I didn't mean” they were both bright red staring at each other with wide wild eyes. “I-I’m just gonna g-go” she ran as fast as she could slamming the door upstairs.

Pennywise never had someone do that to him before. He knew it was a human sign of affection between mates. Did she want to mate with him? Why was she suddenly so sweet smelling? Why did he feel so warm? And why the hell did he want to do that again? He stood there red faced for a good 5 minutes as wave after wave of strange emotions washed over him. Suddenly for the first time in eons he had lost his appetite.

Leech threw herself on her bed shocked at what she just did. She just kissed the damn clown and the worst part is she liked it. He killed someone in front of her and she fucking kissed him. What the hell was she becoming? She knew living with monsters would desensitize her to these things, but this? This was not something she saw coming, especially with Pennywise. He was rude, annoying, messy, bipolar, cruel, insufferable, funny, tall, fierce, intriguing, warm. wait…. oh no… she thought. “I have a crush on the fucking clown.”

[narcissusanasui]

all of an 😎

*em. all of em. jesus christ.

god katie, fInE (but thanks, cherie, love yo

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Read Les Mis, watch Game of Thrones and Voltron, listen to folk rock (especially Phillip Phillips and Mumford & Sons)

2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

Never really thought about that, but the writing styles of Dickens, Doyle, and Austin always stick in my head so i guess them???

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

katie NO, that’s TOO MUCH. so i guess i’ll just give examples of the ones that i have actually thought about relating to:

Katara from A:tla was like THE strong female character of my childhood. Guarantee that she made me a feminist

Lance from Voltron because i spent way too much time like 4th grade through 11th worrying that i was that “seventh wheel” and thinking that i didn’t have a lot of skill and i wanna support my friends so yeah

Yuuri Katsuki from Yuri on Ice. look what the world did to this guy - he’s got anxiety

Ennoshita Chikara from Haikyuu because BOI I ALWAYS GET SHOVED INTO HAVING TO LEAD PEOPLE BUT IT TOOK ME YEARS TO UNDERSTAND IT

Sugawara Koushi from Haikyuu. i am the Mom Friend and i will fight you

4. do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

i do like my name. my parents almost named me Colleen - which i don’t think fits, but then again i believe that we all grow to fit our names. i hated my last name as a little kid because no one would say it right (an issue that exists today too) and like when i started elementary school i straight up kept the spelling of it on a piece of paper in my pocket so i wouldnt mess up. now i love it and i think my name flows really well and if i get married i might not change it.

5. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

well i call myself a human being. and while my actions are important to me, thinking too much about what i do and what i couldve done gets me freaked out so instead i sit and just be. i’ll think calmly and exist

6. are you religious/spiritual?

im agnostic - raised Roman Catholic (but even then we werent strict about following it but i did do ccd and my sacraments so yeah). i want to believe that there is something but there just isnt enough solid evidence for me to be comfortable and if there is some god or force or something, i am a minuscule piece of the massive universe and that god wouldnt give a shit so why should they influence my decisions? i love religions tho. they have fascinating history and i love seeing all the similarites because it just shows how so many humans are all so similarly spiritual and through seeing those similarites it makes me feel more spiritual because i know my catholic upbringing shaped me as a person and i know that there has to be a deeper meaning behind the world’s religions being so connected

7. do you care about your ethnicity?

yes. im fifty shades of white, but the larger pieces of my background are the cultures that my family celebrate still today and they are what i identify as. im italian-irish-american with a polish last name and i will eat my cuisine and wear the Callahan family crest and hopefully make it to Avelino someday

8. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

i was raised on billy joel and elton john so their music is built into me with such a powerful level of nostalgia that i will feel like im back in my house before we repainted it and replaced the furniture and im dancing like an idiot to crocodile rock at age 4 again. PP and M&S hit my emotions hard since i first heard them, but M&S’s Sigh No More album will forever equal driving to chicago because we played that album and only that album the. whole. time. except at night because thats when billy joel comes out

9. are you an artist?

at the most basic definition yes. i make art for fun and relaxation through music and writing and doodling and crafts

10. do you have a creed?

i just want to be content with my life when i die. i want to know that i loved and supported people the best i could. so i guess always put the family first (family being whoever i deem to be in that category). and don’t be an asshole.

11. describe your ideal day.

not too hot or cold, like the temperature fall shouldve been. hiking a trail or mountain with changing leaves, watch some of my favorite shows, go to one of my favorite small restaurants.

12. dog person or cat person?

cat.

13. inside or outdoors?

inside

14. are you a musician?

yes

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

stoppppppp. Tale of Two Cities, Catch-22, Pride & Prejudice, Night, To Kill a Mockingbird

16. if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?

nope. i grew up 30-60 minutes from some of the most important locations in american history. went to them way too many times as a kid so then when i was a teen i just snapped like “wait some people only come here once in their lives and thats why we have so many annoying tourists! because this kind of stuff ISNT NORMAL?!” and now im a history major so yeah

17. would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

almost. i cant really be fully myself because that involves way too much of my personal life and im scared of accidentally pissing people off on the internet so there is a little bit more filter here

18. what’s your patronus?

i actually dont know because i lost my pottermore login forever ago so i never actually did that quiz

19. which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

im ravenclaw with hufflepuff as my secondary, so im a ravenpuff, but ravenclaw is totally my main

20. would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?

Hogwarts or the world of Avatar (not the blue people one) - like after war when everything is chill and magical

21. do you love easily?

when i get attached to someone, good luck getting rid of me, im here for the long haul, so yes

22. list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

listening to music, thinking about fictional stories i want to write, reading, watching videos, actually writing (whether that be my journal or my fiction or hw)

23. how often would you want to see your family every year?

as much as possible

24. have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?

as when i felt perfectly in sync talking to someone? yes with my history prof and with my father

25. could you live as a hermit?

im an introvert but id miss my loved ones too much

26. how would you describe your gender/sexuality?

im cis female and im asexual (somewhere on the spectrum), my romantic attraction is something im still figuring out

27. do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

katie considering you figured me out basically on sight, yes

28. on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?

5 or 6?

29. three songs that you connect with right now.

“Africa” by Toto because it’s still in my head. “Float On” by Modest Mouse. “Sound of Change” by Dirty Head.

30. pick one of your favorite quotes.

“I am the one thing in life I can control. I am inimitable. I am an original.” - said by Aaron Burr in Hamilton

katie i shouldve been finishing my essay

I would say send me a number but this is done now lol so go reblog it and join the fun

[poppunkdee]

3-5, 28-30, 35-40

whoa okay everyone sorry for the long post someone decided to give me a million in one ask. 

3. okay so this person idk what to even say about them anymore I hardly know who or what they are like now but I guess ill talk about them when I was irrationally in love with them. They had a way to make me feel at home no matter how far from home I was. That person was super smart (to me) they had a charisma that allowed them to creep into your life and later your heart, and had you liking them even if at first you thought they were just another fake person trying super hard to be “cool” they had a way to get under your skin, to make you laugh until you’re crying and hold your attention in a way that you never really thought they might be able to. Honestly this person made me feel so many things and not all of them were good, in fact looking back now I realized that I excused so much shitty behavior towards me because of a fancy dinner, or a cute poem, or a dozen roses. God i was so in love with them and its sad really how now its just a faded memory of a person who never apologized for the hell they put me through. 

4. the thing I regret most so far is not going to the ivy league school I was accepted into bc it meant I would be far from the person mentioned above. 

5. Oh fuck. Honestly I have not had any like “amazing” birthdays. My most memorable birthdays are seared into my memory bc I was either in a funeral home, in a hospital watching my cousin fight cancer, or I myself was in the hospital bc a car almost killed me(yay 24th birthday!) really I have most fun when I celebrate my birthday alone at disneyland, which I do every year although not on my actual birthday bc it seems that on my actual birthday I’m always caught up in some kind of hospital, or receiving bad news. 

28. honestly idk if i have any like crazy out there fetishes, like dirty talk and rough sex is cool but like idk if i really have like one odd thing. I mean one of my exes and I got hella drunk one night and decided to do all the shit we had wanted to do and lemmi tell you that was a full weekend of endless orgasms and take out food. It was amazing. I had rope burn on my thighs and was sore for a week after and he had like a million hickies from his neck to his dick. 

29. okay turn ons so like these depend on the person im seeing, like for one person their voice as they whisper in my ear might end me while for another the way they bite their lip and run their fingers through their hair might have me thinking of how those fingers might feel on me. so really I don’t have like one singular set of turn ons they just vary depending on the person. 

30.OHHH TURN OFFS THO. so these will literally dry me up like the Sahara desert and make me grab my shit and leave kyle’s house. If I say "men are trash” and the guy replies with “well not all men.... “ yeah ya cancelled. okay this one is shallow I know but its there and i really cant get past it, bad dental hygiene. the white ppl who try to have dreadlocks but really they haven’t washed their hair. ANY NON BLACK PERSON SAYING THE N WORD. I can go on really bc I’m super picky with the people I sleep with and i have actually mid thrust have told a guy to stop, got dressed, left and blocked him. 

35. Things i wish I could stop doing, okay so like as yall know my anxiety gets the best of me sometimes and I wish I could stop the nail biting. Also I need to stop expecting my body to go back to how it was before my car accident, like my spine is forever hurt and i really have to learn to accept that there are somethings i just cant do anymore and its not my fault there are limitations on my body so i should stop expecting to be able to go back to the gym like i used to, or do all the adventurous activities i used to do, also I wish I could go back to driving like i used to without the PTSD fear running through me every time a big rig is next to me on the freeway. 

36, okay so as of rn my guilty pleasure is that I read the twilight books bc my roommates got me into it and like holy shit i went through the whole saga in less than a weekend and I now need to rewatch the movies. honestly thank god for this gay twilight renaissance I’m living. But really tumblr is full of my guilty pleasures so like just scroll through my blog bc its all there, half of this shit is not on any of my public social media,.... or wait actually i think it is, i don’t really hide who i am so like it definitely has affected the way people judge me before they really know me but i know the people that are my friends after seeing the shit i post kinda really like me.  

37. Damn okay so this is kinda, ugh, okay so im sure my best friend is tired of me running back to this person but like i like ppl who ruin me i guess. So this person and I started dating after i had gone through like a horrible breakup, AND I got the news that my uterus is like a war zone for new cells(make of that what you will). Anyways here I am five months into a depressive episode i cut off all the people that i had thought were friends but who turned out to abandon me when i needed them the most. so here enters this person with their puppy dog love and gives me wonderful dirty kinky sex along with the hugs, cuddles, after care and takes me to these cool experiences in the city I thought I knew. They support my dreams and help me work towards them, honestly it was a great three months, but this person told me they loved me one night while at a night club and i thought hey youre drunk pls don’t do this and honestly it was mostly cowardliness that drove me to end it bc i didn’t feel the same way and i felt like i didnt deserve this new pure love i was receiving.  Anyways we hooked up a bit after we broke up and then they started dating someone else and we just kinda saw other people but would come back to each other after our different flings ended, until they got into like a real relationship with some one else and like I was cool like they deserve it, could have used a heads up but like i keep my space like the respectful person that i am, although lately this person has told me they are not into the person they are with and has been hitting me up and like the part of me that thinks im in love with them is really pushing for me to go for it but also they ARE STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP AND ITS NOT OKAY THAT THEY ARE SENDING ME MESSAGES LIKE THIS!! so anyways i think im more in love with the feeling they brought me those few months we were together bc i was just so fucking depressed and they helped pull me out of the hole i was in. So not really in love with the person but with the feeling i guess. 

38. songs that remind me of people. oh god, yall can i just make a spotify playlist and link it later bc theres so many. I have a few songs for like everyone that I know that i can make playlists for individual people so like i’ll just link a playlist when get around to it pls remind me later. 

39. OHHHH BOYYY. things i wish i had known earlier. i wish i had known men are trash earlier in life so that i would have been somewhat prepared for the men that caused trauma in my life. I also wish i had known how little time i had with certain people. (people i regret not making more time with) Also wish I had known about the accident that had me in a hospital on my birthday bc a year later im still plagued by nightmares, PTSD, and anxiety on the road. I also wish I had known about my cousin’s accident. GOd if there’s one thing i’ve had to learn the hard way this past year is that we never know when it will be the last time we see our loved ones and that we have GOT to tell them we love them bc we NEVER know when it will be the last time.  

40.okay last one, the end of something in my life. I wanna talk about a good ending bc i feel like yall got some insight on bad shit so like good endings i’d say is when i left socal for norcal. I come back literally anytime im homesick but like it was a huge step for me to take to leave, I was given a full scholarship to the wilderness and an apartment thats a ten min walk to the beach. It was definitely hard leaving all my friends and family behind but it was also kind of refreshing to be able to go out on my own to make my own path and do something i love. im back in socal for the summer and although im so happy to be back in the warmth of LA im definitely looking forward to my small apartment that constantly smells like a mix of sea breeze and damp forest. 

[moveslikekeithrichards]

Chapter 1 of my thing for brofessor andy (tw there's sui and death and shit)

[put under a cut for length, feedback below] [very awesome tho def worth looking at if ur into spoopy shit]

  Same old, same old. I sit down at the desk and get to work, typing up the data collected today. My colleague comes in, “Do you think they’ll ever let us out of here?”

    I nearly rip my hair out. “How many times do I have to tell you? Never. They put us in here and they’ll never let us out for fear of spreading the virus.”

    “Maybe after the war,” he says, shifting from foot to foot.

    “They don’t tell us anything, the war could’ve ended years ago for all we know. And doesn’t it ever bother you?” My words are muffled by the hum of the cleaning robots sliding up the wall, disinfecting as they go. My voice turns to a shout to compensate. “The fact that we’re trapped in here for the rest of our lives. Sometimes the self destruct button is tempting …”

    “You’d use the nuclear place to blow us all up? My son and me are here as well. If you want to off yourself, go ahead. But don’t bring me into it.”

    “Not a bad idea,” I say, heading to the bathroom.

…

No pills, no rope. Nothing. The building’s too secure, no roof to jump off of. My hand goes to my chin to think, and my stubble triggers an idea. I grab my razor and sit on the edge of the bath tub and close my eyes. I take a deep breath. The scent of disinfectant fills and burns my nostrils. I lift the razor and bring it towards my arm.

    Bang. Bang. Bang.

    It sounds like bombs are going off all around me, even inside my head. Everything fades to black.

…

    My eyes open and the lights are so bright. The walls are practically made of light. Something hard presses into the back of my head. “If you do not cooperate, you will be shot.” A guy in uniform says. I say nothing. “Are you aware of what your research is being used for?”

    “No.”

    “What were you doing when we bombed the lab?”

    “About to kill myself.”

    “Why?”

    “They don’t tell me anything. They didn’t plan releasing me. I was nothing more than a number in their equations.”

    “If you work with us, and give you your research, we can promise you freedom and citizenship here, though you will be a traitor to Russia.”

    “Deal.”

    I sit behind the counter of my dad’s record store, scrolling through the news on my phone as a record on the counter spins and Tom Petty drones on about free fallin’. Something about a new disease, World War III is still going on, a new Avengers movie is coming out. There’s no customers; there’s usually not at this time so I consider leaving earlier. The bell on the door dings, announcing that I’m trapped here for another hour. The man says he doesn’t need any help and heads up to the record loft. My attention returns to my phone before the bell dings again.

    A woman walks in, and her face makes my stomach twist. There’s boils and pieces of missing skin. Her eyes have a glassy look. “Miss, are you okay?” I ask. Her mouth goes through the motions, but no words come out. I begin the chew on the inside of my cheek, a nervous tic I developed as a kid as the woman ascends the stairs. A few minutes pass and I hear a scream. I get up on the counter and slide over and make a beeline for the stairs. I head up, taking two steps at a time. The man is laying on the ground dead, bits of his skin missing. The woman’s face is covered with blood and the skin of the man and she lunges at me. I grab a record off the shelf and start hitting her with it, but it does nothing.

    I use the record to shield my skin from her attacks as I walk backwards down the steps. I’m down and I run to the counter. The monster of a woman bumbles and trips her way down the stairs  and should take twice as long to get anywhere. I go over to the record player and rip the stick with the needle off and start hitting her with it. She lets out a scream, but it’s muffled and distorted and sounds almost alien. The warmth of adrenaline courses through me as I hit her again and again, somehow being able to avoid her attacks. She falls to the ground after several minutes. I stomp on her head until I’m sure she won’t be a threat anymore. The effects of the adrenaline wore off, and I now realized the fact that I got attacked by a monster. It’s fucking insane.

    I exit the store and hop into my car. I drive home much faster than usual. My eyes dart around, looking everywhere to see if there’s any more of those monster things in or beside the road. I’m too busy looking for them that I run a red light. Sighing, I slow down and keep my eyes on the road. They play tricks on me and several times I swear I see something out of the corner of my eye. Finally I arrive home, any later and I’m pretty sure I would have gone crazy. It’s late and everyone else is asleep so I immediately head up to my room. I shut and lock my door. I bulldoze the messy pile of video game and band shirts off my bed and into a laundry basket and crawl under the covers.

    Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.

    Damn. I’m going to die.

    I glance at my alarm clock. Midnight, and there’s scratching at my door. The thing that tried to kill me earlier used its nails to attack. And there’s scratching at my door. I’m going to die. Logic tells me I should get up and find some kind of weapon. My instincts have me paralyzed out of fear. Breathe.  Gradually I move my arm. Down to the floor. My fingers make contact with the tennis racket under my bed and grasp it, preparing to fight off the intruder.

Meow.

    It’s not even an intruder. It’s my dang cat. I get up and open the door and pet him. After this scare, there’s no way I’m getting back to sleep so I get dressed and head downstairs. I did my hair and makeup much fancier than usual, if I’m losing sleep I can at least look good.

    About an hour before the bus arrives I sit at the kitchen table eating cereal and watching the news. “Due to an outbreak of a new disease, all schools in the district will remain closed,” So I’m all dolled up for nothing. “Experts say the disease is contained to the state and airports are closing in an effort to keep it that way. It’s recommended you stay indoors and avoid crowded places to protect yourself from the illness. If you develop an itchy red rash, seek medical attention immediately as that’s the first sign of the disease. Now onto the weather.” Somehow the peppy newscaster is able to make even a deadly disease sound alright.

    I decide to not waste the day like I normally would. I go over by the front door and grab the leash and harness that are hanging up by my coat. I pick up my tennis racket and some balls and make kissing noises. My cat comes running and I put on his harness. He’s all black and could easily be mistaken for a dog. He’s huge. 30 pounds of cat, no fat. We head out to the backyard and decide to take the leash off. He could get over the fence, but I don’t think he wants to. I ready my racket and pitch a serve to the wall, the ball bounces back and I hit it again. This time I catch it instead of hitting it again because I feel an itch and need to scratch my back. My nails dig into the soft skin of my arm and it feels delightful.

    “Hey, Lulu!” someone calls from behind the fence I just served a ball at. It’s my friend, Jakob. He scales over the wall like he’s done many times and his eyes travel up and down my body. “Skank,” he snickers, referring to my short tennis skirt. I roll my eyes and throw a ball at him. “Jesus. I’m not here to look at your ass, I’m here to talk about the fact that there’s a fucking zombie apocalypse happening.”

“No, there’s not. You’re so gullible. It’s just a disease making people crazy or something-” I’m interrupted by a scream.

“Welp, I’m out.” Jakob says before going back into his house.

    A waterfall of purple leaves drooping from the willow tree in the yard block view of the neighbor’s yard. There’s nothing on any of the other sides, just forest. I pull back the ropes of leaves to look. My neighbor lies unconscious on the ground. I quickly put Salem back inside and jump the fence. The elderly woman has a huge boil on her face. I nearly throw up. It’s filled with some kind of liquid and I can see something small wiggling inside of it. I forget how to move for a minute, and then my body catches up to my brain and I dial 911. I reach down feel her pulse. She’s dead.

    The paramedics come, ask me my name and if I know anything about her. I don’t. They put her into the back of the ambulance, and as the door close I see the boil pop, and she bolts up, her eyes glaze over.

Then, a guy who can’t be much older than me comes up. Despite his young age, he has some kind of uniform decorated with tons of badges. “What do you know about that lady?” he asks.

“Nothing.”

“Do you know anything about the ‘outbreak’?” The way he says outbreak sends chills up my spine.

“I was in a fight with one of the infected people.”

“Any rashes, itches?” I shake my head no. “Fever?”

“No, I’ve been totally fine.” He grabs my arm and yanks me away.

I slap him. “I don’t care where you’re taking me,but Jakob’s coming.” He’s completely unfazed by the slap and nods his head.

my dude, my bro, this is excellent, i love the way u add detailed description that one can picture easily without running on too long & also how u use subtle things like the narrators possessions to add character. i esp love the bit with the neighbor its such a quick thing but v nasty it sticks with u 10/10

the only thing thats bugging me is the inconsistency with indentation at the beginning of paragraphs/dialogue but idk if thats just something tumblr did? either way very awesome super cool concept u got going here & v easy to read too w/o being overly simple (not that theres anything wrong with simplicity) 

[whenismuna]

all?

1. Name: stephanie, steph, stoof, mistake

2. Birthplace: iowa bye

3. Ancestry: german and swedish aka whitest of the whites

4. Zodiac Sign: aries :)

5. Biggest fear: lmao being alone and losing trust in the people i care about most haha

6. Strength/Weakness: nothing/everything

7. Worst habit: breathing

8. Favorite holiday: halloween

9. Ever been in a car crash: almost

10. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher: lol who hasnt

11. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house: fill up my water and take off my pants

12. Age at first kiss: 17

13. When did you fall in love for the first time: 17

14. Who Is Your Longest Friend & How Long: michelle, the loml, 10 1/2 years :’)

15. Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: dont die maybe

16. What were you doing at midnight last night: listening to after laughter

17. When was the last time you laughed hard: this morning talking to michelle

18. Who was the last person that told you they love you: michelle :’)

19. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up yesterday morning: how am i supposed to know bye

20. Where did you go for your first date and who was it with: very first date was a double-date with my then-friend and our then-boyfriends and we saw that movie with justin timberlake about time?

21. Who’s wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen: my moms :)

22. Who did you see in concert first: weird al in like 4th grade

23. Who was your favorite teacher: SARAH JACKSON MY MOTHER I LOVE HER THE REAL LOML

24. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day: michelle

25. Who do you think about most: michelle or carly rae jepsen

26. Is your ideal occupation? doing anything with animal husbandry/rehabilitation

27. Beer, wine, or liquor? liquor 100%

28. Favourite restaurant? old sammy t’s or maybe legume

29. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? ben and jerrys americone dream

30. McDonlads or Burger King? neither?

31. Fantasy dinner guest(s)? crj, griffin mcelroy, rachel carson

32. Have you ever been drunk? When was the last time? yee like january wtf

33. What is the most embarrassing thing you have done drunk? lmao i sent michelle a bunch of snaps once crying about how much i love dogs

34. Wonder Woman or Cat Woman? wonder woman

35. How many pets do you have? none but i wanna get a kenyan sand boa so bad :(

36. What would be the first thing you bought if you won the lottery? an education

37. When was the first time you smoked? like july?

38. Who last sent you a text? delaney

39. Who did you last send a text to? delaney

40. What 4 things would you take to a desert island? rope, a knife, a lighter, and plastic wrap

41. Name the 3 most important people in your life? michelle delaney and nay

42. Favorite song? rn probably fake happy tbh

43. Favorite movie? always hsm bye

44. When did you last cuddle someone? last night :)

45. When did you last have sex? tuesday

46. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first? so much oh my god

47. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still feel the same about it at this minute? i mean this time five years ago i was getting ready to go to camp for the first time so i was probably worried about people liking me and like some of my best friends are from camp so obviously thats not a fear anymore

48. If you could change one law of your country, what would it be? just one?

49. What relationships have ended? But you can’t let go? literally none

50. Where would you take a road trip? everywhere

51. How do Mondays feel for you? time isnt real. i havent known what day it is for the past month

52. If you could spend ten minutes with your ‘hero’ alive or dead what would you ask them? “hi rachel yeah a) are u gay, b) will you marry me?”

53. Do your practice ‘self love’ or ‘self loathing’? love in theory but loathing in practice

54. What’s your greatest achievement to date? beating a game of solitaire in 25 seconds

55. What scares you about your future? literally everything

56. Why does pizza come in a square box? idk?

57. What would happen if you knew you could not fail? id already have my dream job tbh

58. How does it feel to be photographed? if its on my terms, very nice, otherwise no

59. If you could erase an event from your mind, which one would you choose? all of middle school

60. Do you want your children (if you have any) to be ‘just like you’? trick question, i dont want kids

61. Do you stand for what you believe in or are you pleasing others? im the most non-confrontational person i know but if it really gets to morals i will absolutely stand for what i believe in

62. If money were no concern, what would you do for the rest of your life? travel

63. What are you thankful for, this moment? my friends

64. Do you have same sex fantasies? im gay?

65. If you have had sex in a public place, where? nope

66. Have you ever cried during/after sex? nope

67. Who is the oldest person you’ve had sex with? 25

68. Who is the youngest person you’ve had sex with? 19

69. Would you rather be in a relationship with a totally submissive partner or a totally dominant partner? dom bye

70. How tall are you? 5′10 bye

71. How much do you weigh? lmao i dont even know. i havent weighed myself in so long like i dont care lowkey

72. What color is your hair naturally? brown

73. What size jeans do you wear? umm???? 10??? 12????? idk

74. What is your favorite color to wear? black

75. Do you have any piercings? no :(

76. Do you have any tattoos? no :(

77. Do you care how other people see you? sometimes

78. Do you like sports? eh

79. How do you feel about age differences in relationships? it depends. as long as its not a huge age gap its fine idk

80. How do you feel about race differences in relationships? why would that matter?

81. Do you believe in karma or fate? both? more karma though

82. Do you keep a journal? i used to

83. Describe the last dream you remember: i was at delaneys house and her and her mom were showing me around the house and i was sobbing

84. Describe your favorite dream: see above

85. Where are some places you would like to visit? everywhere

86. Any upcoming concerts you want to attend? harry styles, handsome ghost, misterwives

87. What music do you listen to when you are happy? it depends? mostly carly rae jepsen tho lbr

88. What music do you listen to when you are mad? mostly folie a deux or vices or something

89. Do you like to burn candles or incense? candles

90. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? oh yikes becherovka

91. What are your favorite alcoholic beverages? anything fruity

92. Do you smoke cigarettes or cigars? What about marijuana? nope

93. Who is your number 1 friend and why is he or she there? MICHELLE!!!!! we are soulmates and tbh i swear we were friends in a past life and when we met we knew because we were instantly best friends and i trust her with my life and tbh i could write a 10 page paper on why i love her and why shes my best friend bc wow a+ what a gal i love her so much and she will always be my #1. i am michelle trash #1

94. Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member? nope

95. Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with? yeah probably

96. Would you ever have sex in the shower or the bath? nope

97. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex? im gay

98. Do you think your last ex still wants to be with you? lmao tbh who cares im so over that and like lowkey if she sees this i dont really care bc like so much happened and also i have agf now so it doesnt even matter?

99. Ever wondered what it would be like dating the same gender as you? IM GAY

100. What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual people? I AM GAY

101. How often do you brush your teeth? depends on if im in a depressive episode or not, but usually at least twice a day

102. How often do you shower?  When was the last time you had a shower? depends on if im in a depressive episode or not but usually every day, and i showered yesterday

103. How often do you shave your legs? lmao like once a week maybe, that also depends on seasons and stuff

104. Political affiliation? liberal 100% like?

105. Opinion on abortion? jesus christ i dont care like im not boutta stop yall

106. Opinion on immigrants/ immigration reform? we need reform bc people need help and we cant just let them die yknow?

107. Should prostitution be legalized? oh god this is lowkey a super loaded question like theres a lot that would go into this holy shit

108. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? literally what does even mean

109. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? good question

110. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? just one?

111. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? being at camp

112. Would you break the law to save a loved one? it depends? but probably?

113. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? probably france? idk i just always liked it?

114. Why are you the person you are? jesus i wish i knew

115. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? id like to think so?

116. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? misunderstandings 

117. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? so many things

118. Were you happy when you woke up today? i mean i got to facetime michelle so

119. What’s a fact about the last person who text messaged you? shes such a good friend and i miss her and i cant wait to hopefully see her in august bc wow its been almost 2 years since we saw each other and i cry every day

120. Want someone back in your life? my grandpa tbh

121. What are you excited for? a lot actually for once

122. Are you scared to fall in love? absolutely terrified 

123. When is your next road trip? um i guess june because im going to pennsylvania?

124. What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? listened to harrys album

125. Do you like to cuddle? yeS

126. Have you ever kissed more than one person in 24 hours? nope

127. Plans for tomorrow? i have no clue

128. Do you care too much/not at all/just enough? probably too much

129. How is life going for you right now? um id say pretty good. definitely better than it was at this point last year

130. If you were offered a shot of whiskey right this second, would you accept? maybe? idk

131. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? haha yeah lol

132. Could you stay in the same relationship for over a year? i have before so... yes.

133. If you could have one super power what would it be? idk man

134. Background on your cell phone? my dog :’(

135. What are you thinking about right this second? after laughter and how sad/relatable it is ://////

136. Last book you read? How was it? um i still havent finished it but oil and honey and its so good i love bill mckibben so much

137. What is the last thing you bought? halsey tickets :’)

138. Do you live with your parents? yea

139. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? theres really no “sneaking out” of my house anymore bc my dad trusts me to not fuck up?

140. Have you ever met a celebrity? tyler joseph oh my god aleX CAPLOW WOW

141. What are you like when you’re drunk? im super laughy. im a typical drunk girl like idc

142. What are you like when you’re high? chill idk

143. Do you want children? not really

144. Do you want a church wedding? idk probably not tbh

145. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 but i have 4 that i lay on my bed?

146. Have you ever been scuba diving? yeah i wanna go again and get certified tbh

147. Who was your first real crush? yikEs

148. What are you allergic to? nothing i am perfect, evolution did me well

149. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? nope

150. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? neither

151. How did you get your name? my mom chose it 20 minutes before i was born

152. Name one thing about your body you love? my eyes/eyebrows :)

153. What is your biggest goal in life? be happy and have a job that i love

154. Do you still have feelings for your ex? nope

155. Do you think aliens are real? absolutely

156. What age did you start drinking? 15? 16? 17? i dont know

157. What do you think of President Obama? overall good

158. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? i sure hope so?

159. Describe your dream girl/guy? my gf :)

160. Story of your first kiss? lmao nop

161. Story of the first time you made out with someone? lmAO NOPE

162. Story of the first time you had sex? FUCK NOP

163. When did you first have sex? 18 bye

164. First time you gave/ received oral sex? 18 jesus

165. Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to? nope but im gonna have to soon kill me i want to die

167. Favorite fictional character (movie, book, tv show)? cosima niehaus

168. How many followers do you have on tumblr? What about twitter/ instagram? 500 something idk? twitter like 200 something and insta 200 something too? idk im not really on insta anymore?

169. Are you friend with your parents on Facebook? who isnt?

170. First time you thought you were in love? When did you realize that you weren’t actually in love with that person? haha lol wow what a mistake jahahahaha

171. Do you talk to yourself? constantly

172. How old will you be on your next birthday? 20 what the fuck

173. How did you meet the last person you kissed? we were in public speaking together rip

174. Do you have any hickies? yea

175. Turn ons? girls

176. Turn offs? boys

177. What qualities did you get from your mom? all of my bad qualities

178. What qualities did you get from your dad? also all of my bad qualities

179. How many siblings do you have? 2 older brothers

180. Have you ever taken anyone’s virginity? nope

[depressedtheatregirl]

@hollywoodforeverr

who’s your celebrity crush?

probabl tom holland or 90′s leo dicaprio <3 

are you single or taken?

taken, just got my first bf!

rant. just do it

I think that abortion should be legal because as of right now the only reason it’s illegal is because stupid men keep passing idiotic laws on womens bodies. Young ladies are told to be responsible and they wont get pregnant, but that’s not always the case!!

do you think its ok to separate the artist from the art?

No, I think that the artist should always at least get a credit if thats what you mean

how many accounts do you have?

Three. This one ( @depressedtheatregirl )

this one ( @fangirl-all-the-time-bi​ )

and this one, which i almost never post on ( @cottagecore-darkacademia )

how many pairs of shoes do you have?

We’re moving, so I got rid of a lot, but mainly 7

opinion on… (specify to the person you’re asking to)

i am confusion

how many accounts do you follow?

um let me check

180 because sometimes i sit and just follow all my recommended because people want followers and i think im a pretty nice person :)

favorite brand of clothing?

Idk but i love almost anything from shein and hot topic but im not goth i just love dark academia

name a dog

kingsley

or like BB so i could just call him/her baby

what unusual talent do you have?

crying for hours on end for no reason

i have a wide vocal range

what’s the most interesting schools gossip you’ve ever heard?

Best friends since 4th grade broke up because one called the other “fat and disgusting”

School hoe (my best friend) rejects popular “bad kid” for like the fourteenth time and switches to homeschool, screw it

ever prank called a store?

yeah me and my sister used to prank call Bojangles and just say in our most valley girl voice possible “Is this that WE HAVE THE MEATS place?” “omg NO beth, thats AR-BEES”

what’s your coffee order?

Starbucks: Venti Mango Dragonfruit Refresher with extra ice (call me basic but its good)

Dunkin: Small Caramel Latte with Extra Whip

what’s a question do you constantly get asked?

are you ok?

are you and Christian ever gonna date?

what the heck are you doing?

if you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where?

I would get an anchor or a cross on my wrist (we love jesus here in this household)

I kind of want to get a tattoo that says ‘FEMINIST’ on my arm 

google the top song from the year you were born

LOVE STORY BY TAYLOR SWIFT BABYYY (Also pls dont try to find out my age from this)

rant about your favorite musician

ok I love Barrett Wilbert Weed. She plays Janis in Broadway’s Mean Girls and Veronica in Broadway’s HEATHERS (My favortie musical) and she just has such a wide vocal range and strong belt, its just beautiful.

I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT She has the same political views as i do, she’s such a boss, but she has a man too so yeah, she writes such great music, she just seems like an all around great person. Love her and my fave album is reputation.

what’s your favorite teacher you’ve ever had?

This is hard so im gonna put the top 3: NUMBER 1: My 4th grade teacher Mrs. Stone. She was super fun, she let us stand up and walk around during class if we needed to move, she read the first book of my favorite series, a series of unfortunate events, to the class, introducing me to it, and she and the 5th grade teacher had an ongoing prank war that ended up being a thing between the classes too. She moved to Scotland though. shes cool.

My 6th grade history teacher, now the principal of the school. He just made history SO fun, and he loves fanboying over harry potter with me. He’s just such a fun and hilarious person.

My 6th grade math teacher, now works at a performing arts school... teaching math. He had such a soothing monotone voice, i dont even know what was so great about him, other then he used to fanboy over harry potter with me and his voice was soothing. He was a great teacher and he loved making dad jokes and bringing his newborn to school. When he left, he wrote EVERY STUDENT IN THE SCHOOL A PERSONAL HANDWRITTEN GOODBYE NOTE. He had been there for like 10 years.

describe your blog in 3-5 words

Theater-kid-esque

swiftie 

click

kind (ig i say nice things abt random blogs on it a lot so)

what’s a conspiracy you believe in?

nothing comes to mind 

I dont believe in this, but i remember a cray alex jones theory that hillary clinton is the ringleader of a child s3x trafficking ring

if you could see any concert tonight what would you choose?

Taylor Swift Lover Stadium tour if it was still happening

if you could break one of your bad habits which would you choose?

NAIL BITING (I AM SO CLOSE)

can you dance? sing?

... can’t really dance without choreography, but I think I can sing. I love musical theater and so therfore i know most the words to a lot of broadway songs, which require a large vocal range, which i practice on a daily basis

what’s something you can’t stop buying?

various types of candy

anything organization

crowds or small groups?

depends I perform for crowds, but am uncomfortable performing for small groups. 

I love hanging out with small groups, but get anxious with large crowds.

how long before a trip do you pack?

for summer camp, literally 2 months ahead i start packing

for trips, usually a couple days, maybe a week

what celebrity would you rate a PERFECT 10?

Barrett Wilbert Weed

Taylor Swift

LIZZO

what quote or inspirational setting do you think is bs?

your limitation is only your imagination

if you had to dye your hair an unnatural color right now, what would you choose?

red or yellow

you can change one thing about your life right now. what are you changing?

I go to a bigger private school with a better campus (i know which one I want to go to but i wont say) 

how old do you get mistaken for?

14 or 15

what do you think about a lot

Christianity and sin, and interpretation of the bible. For example, i often wonder if watching porn is a sin or not? Not that Im interested in porn, cuz im not, but just is that a sin? 

do you like your hogwarts house or do you wish you were a different one?

Even before I knew I was a Ravenclaw, i thought it was the best. We stan.

what does home mean to you?

The water must not taste weird

I must know how to use the shower

I must love the inhabitants of the building. My best friends house is home. My house is home. My grandparents house is home,

what do you think you’d be arrested for?

murder or jaywalking

have you ever been called down to the principals office?

Yeah, the most recent time was I made a girl mad and I tried to apologize to her but she walked away and her two friends formed a wall around her and hurled insults to me as she cried, and i yelled “WELL IF YOU DIDNT WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE THEN YOU SHOULDNTVE CAUSED A SCENE” and i slapped her

post a picture of the outfit you would choose if you could have any outfit you wanted

i tagged you in it

describe your aesthetic

dark academia-cottagecore

basically libraries and flowers, kind of a prep feel to it, but more depressing, which boosts my serotonin

answer with one of your ‘school memes’ (inside jokes you have with your class/grade) with no explanation

OH, GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME. There’s a back!

feel free to reblog or send me some if you’d like! this took forever so reblog please!

[ultimateseoorg]

Visit PBN, GuestPost or Syndication for Backlink Building for the whole story

Backlink Building

We can spend all day optimizing our pages for keywords that we researched for days and never rank content on Google Search.  Its just the cold hard fact that in SEO onpage optimization is the easiest thing and it used to work in the 1990s … heck back then you could keyword stuff and just repeat the same phrase enough in the background and you’d get some traction.  Yes, SEO is dead … if thats the SEO you are using.

Backlinks moved in and added some credence to the claims that our content should rank for this or that keyword.  It made sense, each site that links to you with the anchor text including your keyword was that site basically vouching for your content.  If thats all you think backlinks are then … Yes, SEO is dead … simply having a ton of links to your site isn’t a sure fire way to demonstrate that your content is rank worthy anymore.

Backlinks created a storm of opportunity in SEO for gaming the system and stacking the deck.  I love telling people about the Google Bomb Miserable Failure and how it defined George Bush in 2004.  Or the story of the downfall of JCPenny who mysteriously ranked number one for all manner of their products until Google took manual action and basically they have never recovered.  Those bring me to these games we developed in an effort to fool Google into making us number one in SERPs.

Link Building Schemes

Everything I’m going to mention below in this discussions is a link building scheme.  Just like buying multiple domains and having them all for one business, some call it a multi-domain strategy, all of these are understood to be below the belt with Google penalties in the wait.  But thats not exactly true, I strongly think theres a time and place for each of these tools today and they do all still work, it’s how you use them and why.

Anything done to increase backlinks is a link building scheme, thats basically the definition of it.  Which is why I roll my eyes when a client is interviewing me for backlink building and says “white hat only” … that means content improvement only.  Otherwise its all a scheme for building backlinks.

PBN Private Blog Networks in 2019

Backlinks are not dead.  You just cant have links pointing to you from irrelevant sites that have no purpose or traffic anymore.  Thats actually good and its making searches useful again.

But what you may call a PBN may be a workshop for testing, what if I as a high school english teacher assigned my 150 students to create blogs and made their homework to discuss the assigned books I’ve given them for the year?  They’ll all point to the same links likely.  Is that a Private Blog Network?  If you feel it is then are we saying that the students work, their content, is not going to be of value to someone else searching for that same book?

In the easiest terms a true PBN is simply a site thats up that has no real purpose other than to link to other sites.  You can spot them when you see them.  I’d argue that the example of the students I made is not one and its more so the intent of the author.  The student example though likely falls into most people’s definition of a link building scheme.

Effect of a Press Release in 2018

Press Releases for Backlinks

Sometime around the time PBNs were being hunted like vampires for de-indexing someone realized they could put links on publication websites with the ease of a press release.  They likely did it several times and each time it was a little less relevant … not newsworthy what they were announcing.

“Such And Such Company hires Dan Guy” isn’t of importance and no one other than Dan probably cares.  And they told someone else and it ballooned into abuse of Press Releases for backlinks which Google clamped down on to a large degree.  No-follow links started coming from the sites and the press release died.  But not totally.

Link Exchange / Reciprocal Links

Quid Pro Quo is more than just a sexual harassment term that means this for that.  I often get emails from people complimenting an article and then pointing out that they weren’t included in the topic and if I link to them, they’ll link to me.  Now honestly every chance Ive had Ive added the link and left the link back to the wayside … usually thats what I get and thats why folks hate swapping links because theres little reason to expect the link to remain in force.

I dont know what it looks like but I’ll know it when I see it.  Too bad it isnt that simple one person puts that phrase as “I know it when I see it, and someone else will know it when they see it, but what they see and what they know may or may not be what I see and what I know, and that’s okay.”

GuestPosts for Backlinks

Then someone decided, hey let’s write for each other.  And of course…that got out of control with Cat Blogs including Dog articles and Dog articles about catching mice.  The lines got blurred and it was hard to tell what was what.   Again though just like before its hard to tell when something is off limits, it makes sense for Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper to guest post on each others blogs before they do a New Years Eve special together … ( they were great, miss it) but … is that going to hurt their SEO on each others site?

It shouldn’t even though they are pretty darn different they have a legitimate reason and their viewers and readers probably eat that content up.  Again, the intent of the author is in play and the value to the readers.

Syndicated Articles for Backlinks

So a marriage of Press Releases and Guest Posts are Syndicated Content.  People generally freak out over it because of the fairy troll that someone made up called ” Duplicate Content ” it isn’t important.  Don’t waste time worrying about Duplicate Content.

Think about the Associated Press … they write an article about a war in some far off place and then 2000 news sites place the article on their homepages, does that mean that all those news sites are penalized?  No … and Google says and has said for a decade what I’m telling ya here.  There is in fact no Duplicate Content penalty.

But again its the intent of the author and the value of the content that decides if it’s a link building scheme.

User Behavior – Bounce Rate, Visit Duration

Google Analytics becomes a taddle tell.   How do we determine the value of content to the reader?  User Behavior is the biggest ranking factor these days.   We all love free right?  So we added Google Analytics everywhere and it tells us stuff thats really very sensitive about how people interact with our content.

Stuff that say a search engine company might want to know if it were trying to judge your site’s content using user behavior as the biggest metric for keyword ranking.  And BOOM now ya get it.  If ya don’t then go back onpage and say that keyword a few more times, cause you’re in the wrong class.

That free data is also the data that your giving to Google for free for them to track everyone on the web and determine how people interact with your content vs. your competitors site which likely also has Google Analytics.

No one in SEO really connects the dots … they help push clients onto Google Analytics but its been talked about before even on Moz.com they note 7 reasons why you should not use Google Analytics.  They point out in the fourth reason …

4. Giving Big G too much information.

Google sees everything you see. Think about that…they know everything. Do you really want to be responsible for giving them that kind of power? Supposedly that’s the trade off for the fact that…

How Do We Build Backlinks Then In 2019?

Use any method that actually fits the need, the tools above are all valid and in play.  You just cant abuse it and shamelessly do something in the goal to gain a backlink.  Share GuestPosts but put some effort into it and speak to the other site’s readers.  Send a press release but do it when its actually news worthy stuff.  If McDonald’s found a way to make organic fat free fast food that tastes just the same .. they’d likely make a press release and the user behavior would suggest those links are valid.

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Know Your Enemy: Celebrating 50 Years of the Forever War

Robert Sammelin

No one drank more than the scientist. Every night, after whatever patriotic black-tie gala marriage played props at, he could be found at the hotel bar, trying to extract existential meaning from a banana colada. It was an odd drinking of option for such a serious human, but only once did he respond to our interrogations about it.

It pleases the nerve fibers, he said, all baritone to his voice, before disappearing into the chilled yellow muck again. We were in New Tulsa, debriefing after a grueling dinner with a bunch of white-haired solar energy exec. Wed been on the road for months, and morale used to go the way of the glacier. I ordered a round for the table, and we toasted to the hustle. Heroes of the nation, peddling war bonds by day, drinking like froufrous by night. Our drill instructor would not have been proud.

Maybe it wasnt New Tulsa. Maybe itd been in Charlotte after the fund-raiser with the nanofinance douchebags. Anyhow.

There were 11 of us on the bond drive, 12 if you included the JngerBot. The Forever War had just entered its sixth decade, and our politicians didnt pretend they were going to end it anymore, even during elections. They couldnt. Wed tried everything: nation-building, nation-destroying, sending terrorists and their families to the Mars penal colony, sending the rebel Young Siberians to actual Siberia. Nothing had worked. We were at war because we always had been. We were at war because we always would be. We were at war because we were at war.

Matt Gallagher

About

Matt Gallagher is the author of the novel Youngblood and the Iraq memoir Kaboom: Embracing the Suck in a Savage Little War.

The government decided to celebrate the Forever Wars golden anniversary with loud, shiny bombast. We were part of that bombast. AMERICAS HEROES, TOGETHER AT LAST, ran the tagline. We were like a roving assortment act, but without name recognition or singing or sex appeal. Without anything, truly. Just pasts wiped clean with the antiseptic of narrative. So we stood there and smiled and waved while other people told our tales to the crowds. The crowd cheered. We waved again.

After the coladas, I settled the tab and excused myself. The younger veterinarians night was just beginning, but mine was nearing its end. In the queue for the teleporter to the rooms, a human about my age waited behind me. He wore a rumpled dress shirt and an overlong tie-in and a goatee on the brink of coherence.

He was looking everywhere but my hoverchair. People with legs always do that. It reminds me of the route some men used to try very hard not to look at my cleavage when I was younger. The endeavor simply underlines the fixation.

Thank you, he said. For what you did.

Thank you for your supporting, I told, a answer as hollow as it was practiced. He mustve been at the event earlier.

Cancan I tell you something?

Sure, I told. Women in military uniforms have this impact on men in dress shirts, for some reason. If youd like to.

I wanted to be a recon marine when I was a kid. He said it like it was a church confession, something hidden away in the lost rifts of his soul for decades. Did the recon workout at the gym for years, he continued. Stupid, I know.

I nodded, both because it was stupid and because I knew.

Youre a bona fide hero. The men segue was as graceful as a startled dog, but it was late. That scientist, though. Hes killing people. And not only the enemy.

I thought about “the mens” words. They were true enough. So what would you do? I asked. If you were him.

Me? The man stroked his goatee. I wouldnt even know.

Pragmatically, I told. Youre the scientist. You live in this country. The wars happening. You can perhaps aim it or not. Either style, people succumb. What do you do?

II object to the question. And to the idea. Im not him. The human voice had a quiver to it now. Not an angry quiver, either. A frightened one. I was just sayingI dont think its right. Thats all.

OK, I said. Night. It was my turning at the teleporter. I get in and went to my room. I didnt begrudge the man his opting out. We all had in some manner. Even us.

Especially us.

The Federals had discovered me at my sisters, on the porch, scrolling through a holopad article about the rabid lemur thatd killed Justin Bieber Jr. Furious George Howls With Delight! read the headline. Its always spooky when sons succumb the same way their fathers did. The past comprehend us all, eventually. Even Biebers.

I was on my seventh year of an indefinite visit, still sleeping in a bare guest room. A potted flower or framed scene would have felt like marks of permanence, somehow. Id been living in increments since high school and wasnt about to stop simply because I couldnt figure out what to do with the rest of my life.

Theywell, welived at the top of a windy mound in a suburbium of a suburbium, wedged between a stand of wild honeysuckle and a pond shaped like a swollen snout. It was green and quiet. The kind of place where big flags hung from porches with humility. I taught painting at the community center and took my nieces to soccer practice and spend my Saturday nights at the one townie bar that served ros.

The life didnt induce me happy or anything, but it could have. Maybe should have.

There were three of them. They all wore jeans and plaid shirts of differing blandness. Id have expected suits and black sunglasses, but the decay effects of after-empire were reaching and vast.

Chief Warrant Officer Valerie Speer? one said. Well, asked. I didnt look my part, either. Female veterinarians tend to cut a certain mold. A liter-sized gremlin in a gardening hat wasnt it.

They told me about the bond drive. About how it would inspire patriotism again in the hearts and minds of the person or persons. About how it would get everyday citizens invested in the wars again.( Like they ever were. I knew the history .) About how the governmental forces needed the money, how 50 years of blowing up things in strange, faraway places had taken its toll on the budget, especially since the geothermal insurgency in Blue Russia began eating away at Uncle sam foreign trade.

About how the bond drive needed a woman on it, because they had an old guy, a blexican, a mexipino, and a robot, and showing that heroes were as diverse as the country mattered.

I laughed. A female. I danced my metal fingers through the air. In the right sun my prosthetics could look like flesh. We werent in it. Thats why you need me.

That made the two men in jeans and plaid look down at the ground, but the woman Fed just stared at me.

Youre Valerie Speer, she said. The tone in her voice sounded so earnest it snapped. Do you know what you mean to my generation of status of women? I joined the agency because of you.

She was lying about that, I was almost sure. But shed appealed to my pride. I danced my fingers through the air again and took in all the green, all the quiet. Seven years here. Seven years that had induced me soft. Did people my age go on escapades anymore?

I requested information about financial compensation.

Heres the thing about being labeled a war hero: You either love it or hate it. Theres little space for mixed impressions. Take the scientist. Invented a drone mosquito that gives people the runs, sold it to the military, and stopped the Arabican conflict practically overnight. You cant fire a rifle when youre crapping out your brains. But some of the mosquitoes werent as specific as billed. During strafes, they bit foes and civilians alike. Which wouldnt have mattered much had we been fighting in the developed world. We werent, though. Outbreaks of dysentery and super-cholera followed, and the last UN estimate I watched numbered deaths in the tens of thousands.

The bond drive needed a woman on it. They already had an old guy, a blexican, a mexipino, and a robot.

The scientist had ended a war all with his mind. Yet the only thing he wanted in the world was to return to his lab, to his anonymity, and forget any of it ever happened.

The JngerBot seemed to resent the attention for other reasons. It didnt know what to induce of people, and truth be told, people didnt know what to attain of it. They could handle robots, had been dealing with them all their lives. Even the rough-and-tumble behaviour of a regular InfantryBot could be explained away. But an elite InfantryBot 5000 upgraded with the transcendental heroism and philosophical musings of decorated German World War I soldier Ernst Jnger? That caused some issues.

The anarch wages his own wars, the JngerBot said at a fund-raiser to a journalist whod would like to know whether it missed battle. Even when marching in rank and file.

Before a boxing prizefight, the JngerBot felt it necessary to remind the crowd what was what. Furrow opposing is the bloodiest, wildest, most brutal of all, it said to 70,000 drunk revelers in Vegas. Of all the wars exciting moments , none is so powerful as the session of two cyclone troop leaders between narrow trench walls. Theres no compassion there , no going back. The blood speaks from a shrill exclaim of recognition that tears itself from ones breast like a nightmare.

And then there were the children.

It told a 10 -year old with a JngerBot poster on his wall that killing an adversary would be a finer tribute. And when a bank presidents “girls ” pointed to us and asked if we were heroes, the JngerBot objected as only it could TAGEND

Heroes deeds and heroes graves, it said. Old and new you here may assure. How the Empire was created. How the Empire was preserved. It paused. We sought the death of heroes. There is no lovelier demise in the world.

The little girls face paled to glass as her father resulted her away. We all laughed about it , no one harder or longer than Dizzy. Dizzy was a walking, talking debate for breeding the remaining cis-males out of the gene pool, if only he hadnt been so pretty. Drone pilots. They think theyre so starfish because they can laser insurrectionists dead from space. And Dizzy was an superstar. He adored every minute of the bond drive, “members attention”, the parties, the hoverfloat rides, the certain type of female patriot who wanted to see the view from his hotel balcony. Beats going back to Pueblo and coaching CrossFit, hed tell, before unleashing that smile of full, fluoride shine. God, he could charm the sorcery underwear off a Mormon.

Would try, at least.

Hed earned the Silver Star in the Iraq war. Well, the Iraq war before the last one. Maybe it was three Iraq wars ago.

Dizzy and the younger vets on the bond drive are always privateersmercenaries if youre the protest, virtual-petition kind. WarriorCorps and Foreign Legion Inc. and Armed Humanitarianism Limited and the like. I was hybrid: part contractor but also part national military, before that ran extinct during the Whig Revolt of 36. Merely Emo Carlos was old enough to have been GI from beginning to end. Hed earned the Silver Star in the Iraq war. Well, the Iraq war before the last one. Perhaps it was three Iraq wars ago. Anyhow. We asked Emo Carlos about it over sushi, after a parade in Cleveland.

Jumped on a grenade at a checkpoint, he told, defining down his chopsticks with a shrug. Didnt go off.

We hollered and banged the table just because we could. Itd been a couple decades since anything but a bot had been close enough to a grenade to do anything like that. Even the JngerBot conveyed its admiration.

Defective? I asked.

Emo Carlos nodded. One in a million, they said.

What happened then? Dizzy asked.

The creases in Emo Carlos forehead folded into one another like papier-mch. He usually never talked about anything but drumming for his old-man punk band. Theyd served together back in the day and were known across the greater Rochester area as the Infidels. Geriatric humor.

Stood up, he said. Dusted off. Looked down. Realise Id pissed myself.

We hollered and banged the table all over again.

An elderly couple came over to us subsequently. Theyd overheard our conversation and wanted to say thank you. They said they had two grandsons in privateer training.

I know our thanks is a small thing, the spouse said. He and his wife looked so cute in their nice old-people clothes, khakis and sweaters and thick-rimmed glasses. They looked like other peoples grandparents always look. But sometimes its all those of us here can offer.

The wife nodded. Were all involved, she told. We believe that. As taxpayers, as citizens, thats how it is. Were with you.

We thanked them for thanking us and they left the restaurant.

What did she mean, Were all involved? Dizzy asked. No theyre not.

There were echoes of agreement and deliberation over what the old woman had meant, and not just about the word involved . Also about the word we .

Yo, Emo Carlos told. The table hushed. Theyre from my hour. When wars had objectives. When citizens tried to keep up. America used to be young. Thats what she meant.

Then say that, Dizzy told. Taxes? Who the fucking cares.

Emo Carlos shook his head again. He was trying to clear himself of frustrations, either with himself or with us. Then he pointed at me. Sent her to the damn moon. Supposed to save us all, putting the wars up there. Preserve the land and resources, remove civilian demises. Be tidy and simple. That was the plan.

And no one ever went back, Dizzy told. The game changed.

Well. Emo Carlos giggled. Military lesson numero uno, son, he said. No plan survives first contact.

The rest of us chuckled along with the old wisdom. Everyone but the scientist, who sat off by himself in the corner. He looked up at us with something between sadness and ferocity. It was hard to decide which.

Tidy and simple, he said. I like that.

When my nieces turn 12 and gain access to FreedomNet, they will find these three paragraphs about their aunt, etched into the digital histories forever and ever TAGEND Valerie Jade Speer( born May 2, 2011) was a chief warrant officer( air) and assault pilot in the United States Army and later the privateer organization Star Spangled Security. She was awarded the Star of Valor in 2042 for her actions during the Battle on the Moon, of which she was the only survivor . Deployed to the moon as part of the NATO coalition during the course of its South Seas dispute, Speer flew a Flying Yeager fusion helocraft during the battle, destroying five Chinese Federation space-helos and two Young Siberian cosmo-planes. Struck by an enemy dwarf ballistic, Speer crash-landed into the Titius Crater. She was thus sheltered from the amaze thermonuclear strike carried out by the Young Siberians that killed all other fighters and blew the hole in the moon now known as Putins Smile . Initially presumed dead, Speer was found during NATO recovery operations two days after the end of the combat. She lost three extremities, suffered burns over much of her body, and survived over 90 surgeries. President Natasha Obama told Speers life and narrative are a testament to the American spirit at her Star of Valor ceremony at the White House .

Words can be funny beasts. Her actions suggest some sort of agency, even control. Destroy is such a clean term for such messiness. Struck by defied my memory of it. Same with crash-landed.

Less so with lost. And suffered.

Testament. As if enduring were a selection. I did what anyone would have. There are no atheists in moon craters. And there are no fatalists in survivor wards of one.

I was thinking about that ward as I zipped up my suitcase in my sisters guest room for the bond drive. Thinking about the long stills of quiet during the nights. Guessing about being “ve called the” Burn by nurses who guessed I couldnt hear them. Supposing about the full-thickness graft done without anesthesia.

You sure about this, Val? My sister stood in the doorway. Her posture betrayed opposition. She was four years older and had always asked me questions that she already had answers for. You have options.

Shed said the same years prior, before Id left for the moon.

I am, I told both times, even though I wasnt both days. Id always detected power and resolve in ambiguity, though. Most people werent like that. My sister, for one.

Youve done more than your share, she continued, moving to the bed and putting her arm around my shoulder. So much more. I leaned my head into her and tried to hold in some of the familial warmth. Id miss it, I knew. Only sisters and nieces hug people like me. I dont think its right.

I smiled at that.

Its not, I told. But. If not me, then who?

Even running can be its own form of opting out. I didnt know that the first time. But I did the second. The last night in the guest room, as I tossed and turned in bed, I thought about that. Then I thought about the survivor ward again. And the long stills of quiet during the nights. And being “ve called the” Burn. And the graft.

Somewhere between Omaha and Tesla City, I began to realize just how different the younger vets were. It wasnt simply that they were privateers, either, or that they called adversary combatants pixels as an insult. Dizzy and his crew, they crowed about their service. Owned their superiority, then basked in it.

Do soldiers think theyre better than citizens? Of course. It has nothing to do with what did or didnt happen in their service, either. It has to do with the very notion of joining up. Americas been at war since before most of us were born. We joined because we wanted to go. Wed been told we were special from day one of boot camp, doing something the rest of our nation couldnt. Or worse, wouldnt. Too fat. Too selfish. Too lazy. Which made the realization after we got out that citizens think were beneath them all the more shocking. If theyre fat, selfish, and lazy, then whats worse than that?

We werent supposed to say any of that, though. My generation didnt, at least. We were taught that part of our service was biding quiet about it. To rise above, because thats what Jesus and George Washington and Beyonc wouldve wanted.

Thats what I did. Or tried to, at the least. Let the citizenry think what it wants, ran the logic. All part of being a republic.

Maybe we had it incorrect, though.

I wondered about that the night the protester confronted us. We were in Washington for a gala. Ordinarily “were in” ushered in through side or back door for events, but the organizers of this one had us walking in on a red carpet, through a galaxy of flashing lightings and holographic cameras.

Finally, Dizzy told, pausing to adjust his bow affiliation and lick his front teeth. The treatment we deserve.

Why the protester chose the JngerBot to cream-pie, Ill never know. By the time the uproar had reached my ears and Id floated around in my chair, the JngerBot had the young man by the throat. Request order to remove home-front adversary, it said, which was funny, and then not.

We got the young man free of the JngerBots prongs. He was reed-thin and had thick brown curls with eyes as dark and mad as the moon. I didnt know what to think about him or his pie. People didnt protest war in person anymore. It wasnt sane behavior.

Youre not heroes, he told. His terms were shaky. Its never easy coming face to face with people youve demonized. Or cockpit to cockpit. Youre tools of empire. Fuck you. Fuck all of you.

The cameras along the walkway started popping off like mortars. We all only stood there, waiting out his denunciation, because we were there to be seen and applauded , nothing else. His anger dazed me, and the others too. Not Dizzy, though.

Get bent, joker, Dizzy told, intersecting his arms for the cameras. War is bad? No shit. But it wont go forth just cause we want it to. Last month, two brigades from the same base get deployed. One goes to Kurd Mountain, saves those households from the horde. The other goes to Blue Russia, blows up some insurrectionists. Ones a humanitarian mission. The others combat. Both involve destruction.

Id never heard Dizzy speak with eloquence and passion before. He was good, and he knew it. He pressed on.

This JngerBot is a goddamn national gem. I dont know what brought you here tonight, and I dont dedicate a single fucking. We went so you dont “re going to have to”. Suck my hero balls.

The arrogance. The entitlement. The narrowness of thought. I loved it all, and I wasnt the only one. The red carpet explosion with applause. Dizzy even took a bow. But the acclaim wasnt universal.

After the protester had been escorted away and wed run inside for the gala, the scientist saw Dizzy. Dont do that again, he said. He loomed over the younger human like an angry parent. That guy is not your adversary. Neither is anyone else youve met on this stupid tour.

He aint a friend. Dizzy was trying to sound unbothered, and he leaned back in his chair and set his feet on the table. So what is he?

Only morons speak in absolutes, the scientist said.

Dizzy changed tactics. You know what he likely thinks about you? he asked. What all these people say when they think we cant hear? I had a woman tell me she didnt think we were whole human beings. Fuck her, and fuck that protester. Fuck all of them.

I wondered what the answers were to Dizzys questionwhat did people say about us? When they thought about us at all. Beyond the pomp and rite of the bond drive, we werent anything, I supposed. Just ciphers with tales people believed in, or didnt believe in, even before they heard them.

So. What. The scientists voice turned to iron as he responded to Dizzy. Thats the job. We have consequences.

Dizzy opened his mouth, but the scientist cut him off. You did . You did when you didnt “re going to have to”. Thats enough. It has to be. Then he stormed off, presumably for the hotel bar.

The scientist opted out that night. The rest of us did too, by doing the job. We stood there and smiled and waved while other people told our stories to the crowds. The crowd cheered. We waved again.

We walked back to the hotel as a group after the jamboree. We stopped in a park with green lawns and a marble fountain and joked about the protester, giggled about the scientist. The scientist had been right, but so what? What did being right have to do with anything? Dizzy had regained whatever force-out it was that sustained him and began chatting up a pair of young women who considered themselves patriots. I watched it all and thought about the ward and then my sisters home. The JngerBot came up beside me.

You managed that pie well, I told it. It didnt say anything, so I continued. Waiting for an order, I mean.

Here is our kingdom, the best use of monarchies, the best republic, the JngerBot told. Here is our garden, our happiness.

What a random thing to tell, I thought. Even for a robot. But subsequently, after considering it more, I decided otherwise.

The Fiction Issue

Tales From an Uncertain Future

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