#thats the kind of thing shes wearing
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i wanted to try drawing older Mabel and Dipper !
#gravity falls#mabel pines#dipper pines#artists on tumblr#tbob#not gonna lie im not too sold on these designs so i may change things later if i ever wanna draw them again#i was looking at their old character designs and concept art for inspiration#mabel lowkey looks like a fashion mess but! i think its in character so whatevvsss#also firm believer that they both have glasses. mabel doesnt wear contacts bc she likes fun frames + contacts are too uncomfortable for her#dipper doesnt wear contacts because hes too busy for contacts and he can never put them in right#also took some insp from kristen schaal. alex hirsch. ariel hirsch. jason ritter for them too#also. i know dipper is shown to be a STEM-y kid but i firmly am a believer hes a STEM enjoyer in the service of art. like the fanfiction#writer thats studies physics or chemistry to get a certain detail right or something. or the entire futurama writers room lol#like i do think he wants to make documentaries or shows abt the supernatural or whatever#and mabel helps out with the adventuring :)#kind of like buzzfeed unsolved in the golden era of youtube#turtlearts
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I love Deanna Troi because she’s representative of an autistic experience you don’t see on TV a lot which is “I learned all about human interaction the same way that one might learn about cool bugs so I know what makes people tick and in THEORY I know the right things to say in social situations but socializing like that is not the least bit natural to me and I don’t know what to do if the situation doesn’t match up with what I studied.” Except for her instead of having JUST learned about human interaction she is also psychic and so she partially relies on that too.
The episode where she loses her powers and suddenly cannot read people at all, not even to the level humans usually can, totally screws up trying to give therapy, and becomes so distraught she tries to resign from her job as a therapist, is so real. Like listen if she wasn’t autistic that wouldn’t have been such a big deal. Deanna Troi is an empath with low empathy, she’s using her psychic powers to compensate for her symptoms.
Also the episode where she hears some annoying music and completely loses her mind about it and screams and sobs and must be put into a medically induced coma because she’s so upset by the music and the alien that made her hear the annoying music seems genuinely confused about why it bothered her so much (meaning that like, that wasn’t the intended or normal effect of his annoying music ability).
Even outside those episodes where it’s so obvious though, everything she says to people tends to read as extremely scripted, like she knows it’s what she ought to say but it isn’t what she would say if she was just being herself. Queen of masking. What is the real you like, if you even still have one? She’s just like me for real
#also we can pretend that shes wearing those stupid outfits bc she had some kind of sensory issue w the uniform and got accommodations#even though of course in real life the reason she was in those outfits was just sexism being prioritized over uniform regulations =(#oh AND her thing about chocolate. thats her safe food and there is no WAY everyone else is so bothered by replicator versions of food#star trek#star trek tng#deanna troi
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One thing about Enclave that I can't portray in any meaningful way via art is that she kind of sucks ass at taking care of herself
#who has only finger brushed her hair for a week and then fixes the problem by yanking a comb through her hair and ripping through the knots#hasn't eaten anything properly in 2 days#I think the only thing she's good about is resting frequently and thats just bc [the redhaired whore] communicates via dreams and even then#She also does genuinely like swimming on the surface the warm water fascinates her#She doesn't wear makeup often if at all but if she did she forgets to take it off and has 3 day old eyeliner on yknow#Awful and kind of stinky drow woman
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thinking of thalia being from neverwinter.. originally had an idea that her family were a merchant house, or they had land/focused on farming and they specialized in wine or something but now im thinking they're investors and since neverwinter is known for their crafts, they have probably invested on a variety of business and it's something her family has been doing for a long time
#like she's OLD money old money#maybe they own a mine too.. they started out selling gems and jewels at first and when they got rich they used that money to invest on othe#things. do that for centuries and centuries and now they're very rich. now i have to look up neverwinter lore#i kind of like the idea of them owning a mine and having gems as their primary trade bc thalia wears these blue topaz earrings#maybe thats like their signature gem...
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if theres one thing this move has done to me it has made me addicted to throwing shit out
#literally threw out sm cheap jewelry that i accumulated throughout middle and high school#plus my phase in early undergrad where i was obsessed with buying random necklaces and bracelets from street stalls#like dont get me wrong im keeping a few cool things but i dont need like 13 pairs of nondescript stud earrings from H&M 😭#i do kind of consider myself a jewelry collector bc my mom passed down a lot of cool pieces she got in 1990s beograd#and a family friend left me a lot of her jewelry when she passed#and ive gotten some cool things on etsy#+ my relatives have given me a lot of beautiful serbian filigree#so i don’t mind having slightly more jewelry than im going to realistically get a lot of wear out of#but it was getting out of control and my collection was getting bloated with dumb stuff i bought kind of mindlessly#also by ‘’throwing out’’ i mostly mean im gonna try to see if any thrift shops in the area want the stuff thats still in good condition lol
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This is technically a Diana's age poll but I framed it partially around Julia's rescue because that's the event I need to contextualize and whether or not Diana is a thing yet is p important for my purposes. I would keep the Pérez run and postcrisis continuity in mind when answering this bc that's when this is relevant but I'd keep in mind that even though Diana is very young there (like early 20s) we don't know I don't think if she ages differently as a child (esp as a themysciran AND being made from clay) and in some versions she is older than she looks and was made earlier
Edit: I accidentally logic-ed this out in the tags lol 🤦♀️but feel free to still vote however you want. Going to publish this anyway bc I think I made some good points later in my tags
#blah#the 45 years is a guesstimation of julias age w her being in her late 40s#bc she has a middle school aged daughter which would make you lean a bit younger but shes also highly respected prof at harvard (is she the#dept head? i think so. and has a career that would suggest older. and shes also drawn middle aged so 🤷♀️#i would say late 40s early 50s for her honestly. but i moved it down a lil bit bc of vanessas age#wait shit i may have contradicted logic here bc wasnt the diana trevor stuff supposed to have happened before dianas birth. and that was#wwii. which would be btwn 42 and 45 years. BC PÉREZ!TREVOR IS OLD I FORGOT THAT#okay so actually there still could be a question of what happened first the timeline would just be much shorter#but then wouldnt julias family be boating during wwii? that makes no sense#im definitely thinkimg too hard about this probably. logically it would make the most sense if diana was like 20smth in reality. but thats#its own basket of worms honestly. like what do you mean hippolyta only had like 20 yrs w her daughter out of a lifespan of thousands of#years. what do you MEAN she became champion and ambassador so young like#like also thats the point though. she had to wear a mask in the challenge for a reason. her inexperience with men is what makes her the kind#of ambassador they need. and her youth and relation to hippolyta and role as the baby of the amazons is one of the things that makes her#ambassadorship SO important is bc she fulfills that role in an ancient sense. where it would be a sign of great trust and respect to send#someone close to the crown as an envoy bc it shows you mean business and arent going to reneg on whatever the deal is. bc if you do they#shoot the messenger#god anyways i very much answered my own question here in the tags like 100%. esp in regards to the pérez canon bc he very much laid this out#and i was trying to weasel my way out of it. only that didnt work and the decisions he made he made for a reason and they have huge#narrative importance. damn. okay then#i always write the shittiest posts and the best tags and then have to keep the post to keep the tags#i rlly need to make these tags posts ugh. anyways keeping this up bc of my tags abt diana and ambassadorship#also sidenote I LOVE HIPPOLYTA#just though id mention that. i love how much shes motivated by love and i also love when she makes fucked up decisions bc of that and has to#live with them. woman of all time FOR REALS#god this is making me want to reread historia again lol bc its the one ww comic i own. also its fire. and hippolyta gets to make shitty#decisions motivated by emotion and live w the consequences. and the comic is actually good unlike when that happened in the messner-loebs#run. which was the other instance of that ive read rlly. 10000% sure there are others but i havent fully gotten there yet.#i mean ive read other comics where she makes painful decisions thats like her whole deal but there are different vibes to those than the two#i mentioned. like the exile thing in ww year 1 or rlly anytime she has to send diana away
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Haley, courtesy of the non-weirdest ad I’ve gotten on tumblr
The ad in question:
#art#stardew valley#sdv#haley stardew valley#haley sdv#this is closer to the haley in my head#i didn’t realize my pen would bleed for some reason so oops plus i used the wrong marker for the skin at first so it looks a lil odd#i aint even a woman nor do i wear dresses but its still one of the best ads ive seen#the others I usually see are the pika guy backpains/aches or recently eczema for some reason#guess thats what happens when a website doesn’t listen or record the things u do#im such a sucker for outfit designs like that#long flowy dress with galaxy/star patterns and or dark blue/sky themes YUM#this reminds me of when i was in hs i think maybe 16 17 yrs old and school just ended#and there was this girl in a long red flowy dress it was probably some kind of event that day#and like an awkward cant-talk-to-girls teen boy way i ran up to her said she looked pretty and ran away#im not even straight !#oh also the necklace shes wearing#(haley from the image)*#i hc that it was her grandmothers who she was super close with but when she passed she kept the necklace#and the center opens up with a lil picture of her grandmother holding her as a baby#the picture could also be of the grandparents married not too sure on that uet#both sound sweet#and its def in a sepia filter(dusty brown tones basically)#and and if u dont like the lil belly on haley u can suck it up and leave#i hate seeing when ppl are drawn ultra anime thin bc thats not healthy plus the uterus makes the stomach come out a little so its totally-#-natural#for some cases in having no uterus or other yeah that makes more sense but anytime i see like anime i cant help but think everyones a robot#also yeah on a related note i do see that i put some trans colours on her not my personal hc but im fine with it#i can see her more as either cis/intersex and the term i forgot where smn identifies with femininity but never masculinity or however it go#i also dont think shed carw abt labels ‘am i cis? no im haley’
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Ione Kitain Daughter of the Fourth House of Betazed - Socialite. Elieth’s Wife.
#Ione is sweet but pushy - she likes to have fun and help people and can come across as a bit spoiled#she has a little sister and an older brother#her favorite of Elieth's siblings is Sek because she likes to bother him#she's very ditzy but earnestly a very kind person who rarely has bad intentions - ever curious about other people!#She was engaged to someone else when she met Elieth and immediately felt drawn to him...they became fast friends then romantically#involved. Eventually when Elieth heard of her impending marriage to Mr.Whatever he traveled to her home and asked her to marry him instead#and she accepted~!!#T'Pel apparently didn't like her originally hehehe#Elieth explicitly does NOT tell anyone in his family the exact date of their wedding so they can't show up since it's a traditional betazoid#wedding and he really really REALLY does not want his mother and siblings to see that#It's SO hard to find ANYTHING about betazoid fashion...the only civilian we see is Deanna who is notably very off the walls fashion wise so#it's not indicative of typical fashion...I went with 'beigey colors' to contrast Lxwanna's (I SAID DEANNA IM SORRY THATS NOT RIGHT) bolder#colors and a more tight fitting silouette where Lxwanna usually is wearing something a bit poofy#also that thing growing out of Ione's head is like a lil antenna thing for her telepathic abilities. When not in use it shrinks and when in#full + active use it glows#bea art tag#star trek#star trek art#Ione Kitain#[REDACTED] family shenanigans
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Sorry but I'll never stop thinking abt mp100 literally I think every main chara is some flavor of autist/adhd literally all of them
#thats why reigen is so spastic and st#such a strange guy bc hes just has impulse control but also is like has a bunch of hyperfocuses like thats why hes so good at so many#diff skills in diff bursts bc he gets focused on one and puts all his energy into learning it then he moves on the only reason hes still#running spirits and such is literally bc he loves mob otherwise he would be off on some other whimsy#ritsu and mob to me are clearly the siblings w/ adhd/autism but are percieved very differently and have diff levels of coping with it and#what their strenghts are#like i have a similar thing with my own siblings where we r all brain weird but all have different flavors and conflicting traits#then theres teru i think hes autistic and has mapped out a very specific social structure and rule for himself to follow so that he can fit#in and control how hes percieved#but then he still has you know off beat presentation and masking where he is just threatening and casual and wears silly clothes and just#sees that as the peak of fashion god.... hes everything to me#to me teru is the kind of person where he likes everything in its place in many different ways#then you have tome!!!!!! classic with special interests in games and aliens and telepathy and also inattention w adhd#and also tsubomi!!!! i think shes another great example shes very pretty and she knows how to kind of play her role and be polite but shes#very set in her ways and doesnt just do stuff bc its expected of her#and i think thats also why she and mob get along so well :) bc i think she knows he doesnt see her the way a lot of ppl see her and the#same is kind of in reverse where she doesnt see him solely for his powers or for his outward disposition (which is established to be why he#had such a crush on her)#its just about autist to autist communication in my opinion#talking tag
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ok i replied hopefully it wasnt weird 🗿
#its literally crazy also i kind of want to cry at the picture bc im wearing a red shirt and two matching hair clips w cherries on them#and thats such a my mum thing to do bc she probably dressed me that day i cant even take it
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in this world its just me and my fang tooth against everybody...
#i remember when it came through and i wanted to die#im kind of scared im gonna like idk push it down or something#it grew in and just never moved#and then i got a second one and that moved and its straight now#but the left one sticks out and it brings me joy#and one time in school when i smiled my friend told me she loved it and i was why she didnt mind if her teeth went back to normal when she#didnt wear her retainer. like omg#speaking of mouth things. i have a spot. on my upper lip. and it HURTS#who the fuck gets spots this late in life Omg#“this late in life” 20 years queen. 20 is Not late. pissing me off#biting my cheeks like its my job#i love wearing my tabi socks i feel like so cool#i miss my straight hair#i wonder if id be like normal if i was medicated for adhd or whether i Dont have it and im just like this#i need a wee 💔💔💔#i dont wanna move im locked the fuck IN#mu MOUTH HRUTHKSNFKWBG#who is mu qing#lowk thats a cool name i want that#chinese names r always so cool i wish my name had a q in it wtf#GIRLS & BOYS BY BLUR oh your bassline FUCKS#i would be such a good bass player if i wasnt such a fucking loser about it#bass player and loser are literally synonyms dont lie#i just give up easily so i cant play because i Never practice anything...ugh......someone motivate me please#blah blah!#not 75 stuff
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bad dating stories time: the shoe incident
so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.
at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.
he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?
and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.
but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.
i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?
(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)
and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.
i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.
that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.
i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.
anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.
i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.
we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.
he was okay at it.
eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.
soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.
realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:
"i can't get pregnant"
which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.
still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"
and then i was in my car, and i drove away.
if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.
and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.
WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.
we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.
do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.
and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.
then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.
and then they started making out.
i was close enough to hear it.
i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.
so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.
now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.
so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.
about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.
my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.
my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.
they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?
and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.
#dating stories#anecdotes#long post#funny story#babylon#im really bad at dating#like i can do a lot better than this but also it just was kind of a nightmare for me#shit like this did make the whole thing easier tho#like#every date after this i could go you know ive seen how bad it can get#and i lived#didnt even get shot#writing
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the yves/orin dynamic I hc is so hhhhhjjmyhhhhhhdhdghh scrumptious to me bc yves was orin’s biggest tormentor. yves constantly berated orin and thought she was useless, and she made her grievance known. like yves constantly preaching abt how orin is so useless and worthless and the only thing that’s significant to her is the blood in her veins and unlike her, she will never gain bhaal’s favour and she’s always going to be a mongrel chasing her heel for a sliver of recognition…! and the fact that yves - besides being bhaal’s bride and chosen - was one of the head priestess of His church meant that she influenced others to think similarly too. orin was also one of the constant victims of yves’ nasty tantrums and when she’s feeling particularly curious and she wants to see how a shapeshifter’s inner organs work mid shifting orin is the first one she takes to experiment on. like yves in her dead three was SO nasty and horrible and her cruelty is so deliberate and calculated. unlike her god yves was not reckless nor chaotic, rather, she was very meticulous and executed everything she did with precision hence why I think she worked well with gortash bc she isn’t unpredictable like orin.
but anyway, yves being so horrible and nasty to orin so when orin FINALLY managed to stage her little coup, it is a very satisfying and vindicating moment. now she gets to see the woman who made her life living hell kneel and break open like an egg, and she WILL watch with a smile in her face. now she has a chance to prove her worth, and to show everyone that yves was wrong abt everything and she IS bhaal’s chosen, and i think yves would actually be proud of her for finally standing up for herself lol.
but then orin makes the fatal mistake of not killing yves 😔
#and I like to hc pre duel or maybe even mid duel yves just admits that she picked on orin bc she was bored#like maybe pre duel… instead of telling orin the truth that she’s an incest nepo baby yves just goaded her and tells her that the only#reason why she tortured her for all those years is bc it was for fun. like there’s no grand reason to it she just found orin’s reaction and#cries amusing.#I also have this hc that leading up to duel yves starts to ‘act’ like her dead three era self again like she’s going like I AM a bhaalspawn#im sooo evil he he ha ha ha but her actual plan is that she’s going to kill every bhaalspawn and then herself bc she’s dismantling#every thing she has done for the absolute plot and she will give the prism to the companions so they end everything once and for all#to her thats the only thing she can do to balance out her scales. and that’s the least she can do for all the horrors she’s inflicted#but then she gets revived right after and she’s like 🧍♂️ girl this was NOT part of the plan and withers is like you want to experience the#catharsis of punishment so badly im gonna force you to live instead#and yves is like. well. depression ig….#but anyway back to the main point that is orin and yves dynamic i like thinking abt it in orin’s perspective imagine the underlying fear#when she learns yves is still alive and going back home bc that’s the woman who constantly abused you u know. but this time orin is the one#with power. this time she’s the one with bhaal’s blessing so she won’t be able to touch her…! and when she observes the very woman she’s#out there being treated with kindness and care and being LOVED ..? like HUH? what….! it’s unfair. and revolting. and sickening#that horrible woman deserves neither of those things and the only thing she deserves is the knife thrusted on her chest 1000 times over but#even then that is still too good for her. so orin taunts her. and she shows off how she wears bhaal’s divinity well. and she tries to make#her show off her true nature to her new friends bc this mask she wears is sickening!!! and it works kind of …#anyway dead three era yves being the most horrible person with unethical medical practices is so real to me#shut up about bg3.#bg3 spoilers
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venting in the tags yippeee
#damien.txt#gender talk time 🤪✌️#....................................................................................#screaming crying throwing up rolling around on the ground <- said completely deadpan#uhm. as always. thinking abt gender. and questioning. my whole life. bc. i cant stop doing that#soooooo like. my big thing. abt gender. is as much as im like. he/they-ing it here and irl. its kind of... complicated?#as ive gone on ive realized more and more that i dont. really. feeling Anything towards those pronouns#neither do i she/her. or they/them.#and just generally the whole Concepts of male/female? so like. im always like hmm. whats happening here#and other completely incoherent statements djbdhdbf sorrry anyways#i keep having these moments where im like. hmm. maybe. im leaning too hard into the masc. maybe i am not. he at all.#but ive like. really full committed to the bit yknow? like esp irl. all the ppl ive introduced myself to in the last 2 years have known me#as 'he'. and as someone who wears mostly masc clothing and generally attempts to present masc#and like. i bought a skirt a while ago and i was trying it on today and i was like oh. wait.#and before u @ me i KNOW!! clothing does not equal gender!! but there was just something abt it#and recently (the past like. year lmao) ive really been contemplating like. what i actually want out of transitioning or whatever#bc like. increasingly its become more obvious how... fucking difficult that is.#and the more i think abt it the more im like. bro its not even worth it for me? tbh? also like. sometimes i look in the mirror and am like#hmm. this does not feel better than it did when i hadnt transitioned at all. yknow?#like the last 10+ years ive been existing in this state w my body where im basically just. tolerating it. ignoring it. even.#and that hasn't... changed. after t. and ik thats not like the fix-all but its got me wondering if some of it/a lot of it#is just body dysmorphia? rather than dysphoria? bc like. god knows i have that too.#and just. idk. i feel Really Really anti-gender most of the time. would in fact. not like to be conceived of at all.#but on some level im trying to think abt it practically bc if that ^ is my thoughts on gender fr. i have to decide whats worth it#and like. i miss cool clothes. god men's clothing is so fucking boring. holy fuck.#and AGAIN i KNOW gender doesnt equal clothes but also like. i am Aware to the wider world it still works like that#and truly if i rocked up to work/class in a skirt everyone would be like What The Fuck#and i kind of want to!! but im also scared of that reaction lol#AHHHH why must gender be so complicated. i want to lay on the floor#lol there was literally more but i ran out of tags LMAOO sorry everyone. gender complicated. peace ✌️
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yay
#loove it when my mom does something which. when I do it she'd get in a piss about.#disclaimer. my mom isnt bad. she has her own struggles. were fine#but the thing were talking about is. wearing headphones during dinner.#apparently when i do it (mostly ~2 years ago. less so now) its worth discussing and forbidding.#while i was actively in the process of getting an autism diagnosis.#once she even refused to. let me sit at the dinner table with them on. and also refused to let me eat dinner in my room.#this was only once but. i will not forget it.#she did not let me eat dinner solely because i was wearing headphones.#it was on vacation in a open echo-y home with 6 other people. chairs and cutlery scraping galore. and i cant wear my headphones.#sillyposting#im just so stuck up on WHY it was a problem for her. i dont get it.#especially now that she is doing it occasionally.#i dont MIND that she does it now bc obviously i know somewhat what shes experiencing.#but the fact that she got so stuck up on it so many times when i did it. hm.#thats all in the past whatever but. it was very much during my hardest period of life. ik it couldn't have been kind to her aswell but stil#augh.#ok.
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hello everyone twt suspended me for a week (theres still 3-4 days left) so i have been a little bit bored but i figured i should post here anyways siiigghh
details under the cut
ok so the want of making an elphaba fashion exploration has been there since ive watched the movie but the urge really came to me after i explained to my friends how NOT masculine elphaba's outfit was in one of my drawings (i doodled the full outfit in the top right corner)
it really irked me when multiple comments were made abt how i was part of the ppl masculinizing cynthia's elphaba when i really put thought and effort into elphaba's fashion (as well as glinda's) in every drawing i make of her. like the cut of her sweater and the frills on her pants are very feminine-- pants are not inherently masculine (and neither are muscles but thats another conversation). i did want to explore her fashion with only pants to show how feminine pants outfits could be but i had admittedly not drawn her in as many skirts/dresses as glinda so i decided i should.
HOWEVER i do want to add. galinda's fashion is like. hyper fucking feminine. next to her, anyone would look less feminine... i mean she wears sm pink and bows and frills and shit... i find it a bit of a disservice to many artists for ppl to complain about elphaba's feminity compared to galinda's when they just dont wear the same kind of clothes.
okay a bit of a commentary not about my drawings at all but : theres also the comments on how ppl would never make galinda wear masc clothing when. thats simply not true a lot of ppl call her an egg even AND the movie versions of them are not the first. i suspect many ppl would use the same or similar hcs they had for other versions of gelphie and transfer them over. WHICH to be clear there is a problem of masculinizing black women in fandom and as an artist it is my responsibility to portray her with utmost respect. im not saying racial biases dont have a play in ppl's headcanons, but i do think excluding the history of the fandom of wicked from these hcs makes it... less true? less of a full truth maybe? do you know what i mean... as is the story of wicked, i think the issue is nuanced. also this might be only a twitter issue as people on twt do make things black and white often.
anyways! back to the fashion, im no expert either i just thought itd be nice to try my hand at it!!
oh and the other drawing well . shes just too effin cute man idk what else to tell u
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