#thats still there- a lot of fear of being seen a certain way

[quiet-curiosity]

Practicing channeling again today. And I got a message that was so funny

Earlier today I saw something keishathemystic on Instagram posted that really resonated. So many of her things- I just connect with so much. But this on was about that you’re not the doer- the universe is. You want to do things you want to take action but your job is to listen. Idk she explained it better

Even in my own channeling/ tarot readings the focus lately has been on patience, on raising my vibration, feeling like divine cosmic love. & Growing spiritually.

So today meditating - doing some reiki energy things like feeling this light falling on me like a water fall & collecting in my hands & I thought I’m ready to receive guidance. I ready to listen. What should I be doing.

& I saw/ heard the SpongeBob magic conch say “nothing”

It’s like ok let’s try meme language maybe that will get through.

So it made me laugh. And I kept thinking about ok I understand but like what does that mean. And I got - also from SpongeBob- Mr. Tentacles will put his tentacles on my art. Ok. I’ll make art. I get the message.

[mpregbuck]

this is my thoughts on what has been shown to us on screen/in canon from the perspective of someone who shipped bvdd!e and was deadset on them being endgame until seeing what unfolds in season 7 and why i slowly came to the realization that bvdd!e may forever stay fanon and choosing to embrace bucktommy rather than making it my enemy because buck is my favorite character and seeing him happy makes me happy.

certain 7x04 spec/response: buck is misconstruing his feelings for tommy with what he’s actually feeling for eddie, because it’s obvious he was trying to eddie’s attention not tommy’s—well at least tommy gave buck his queer awakening so that means bvdd!e canon is possible!

what actually happened: buck made an effort to try and get to know tommy, his attempts to get close with tommy are interrupted by eddie. so buck spends the rest of the episode desperately trying to get invited to hangout with tommy too, because buck is a silly goofball who’s unknowingly crushing hard and too nervous to ask tommy to hangout again in fear of rejection or eddie and him already having plans. buck fully processes what he was doing was for tommy’s attention right before they kiss which gives tommy a 🚨gay🚨signal. tommy being buck’s queer awakening is about buck and buck alone. tim minear confirms the entire episode was a bait and switch and that eddie was the red herring to the audience. at no point in the episode does eddie indicate having feelings for buck, in fact eddie doesn’t even realize he’s been unintentionally leaving buck out and feels bad about it.

continued below ⬇️

certain 7x05 spec/response: photo stills release. everyone is so sure that eddie and marisol will be sat across from buck and tommy and eddie is going to grow jealous watching them. this doesn’t end up happening but thats ok. as the episode continues we’re sure tommy isn’t going to return and eddie will continue his catholic guilt arc which will lead to his own gay realization. buck comes out to maddie and it’s almost feels like maddie knows buck has feelings for eddie with her “if theres something you need to tell eddie, you will” line (because of previous dialogue like bucks boy crush on eddie) we get buck then coming out to eddie which we think might spark up eddies feelings as well after finding out his best friend he has unknown feelings for is bisexual. marisol moving out means marisol bones soon, yay! buck asks tommy for a second chance, not what we wanted but ig it’s fine because tommy can be buck’s first boyfriend to show him the queer lifestyle.

what actually happened: buck is entirely too nervous but excited to be on a date with tommy. tommy seemingly knows how to make buck and blushing mess which is something we haven’t really seen before and its adorable. buck gets overwhelmed and screws himself over with his “hot chicks” line which he absolutely did not need to say at all when eddie and marisol run into them. we’re given conflict within the date because we need to see buck fully embrace this new queer side of himself, and although the storyline overall is fairly lighthearted the way tim and oliver wanted, it’s still good to show what it’s really like for a lot of newly realized queer people, especially someone in their 30s who isn’t necessarily ashamed but is still coming to terms with the fact that they are queer and having to tell people after spending so long as presumably “straight”. especially a masculine man like evan buckley. the rest of the episode has buck mourning what he could have has with tommy because he really likes him, he accidentally comes out to maddie because he can’t stop talking about how stupid he felt ruining his chance, maddie tells him he’s not a fraud, that he obviously is nervous to tell eddie because that’s his best friend and a queer man coming out to their (atp, canonically) straight friend is a scary thing to do. he doesnt want things to change between them. we eventually get to see buck coming out to eddie and seeking acceptance from eddie which he automatically is given. its a weight off his shoulders, his best friend accepts him and reminds him it changes absolutely nothing between then and in fact, eddie tells buck to call tommy because buck admits he cannot stop thinking about him but is scared of rejection again. tommy agrees to meet with him and they actually have a very beautiful conversation, buck takes responsibility for his behavior on their date, tommy assures buck he isn’t really upset about it because it was mostly about not wanting to pressure buck into something he wasn’t ready for. buck then assures tommy he is ready for something and thinks that something could be with him. their coffee date sweetly ends with tommy agreeing to be bucks date to maddie and chim’s wedding and then holding hands.

now this is where i truly started to lose my rose-colored shipping glasses and where the plot became completely lost to me.

certain 7x06 spec/response: the karaoke scene is going to be huge for bvdd!e. tommy not dressing up for the bachelor party is red flag behavior. they didn’t have to write him being on standby, even he’s on standby he could have worn an 80s band tee. he put in no effort meanwhile bvdd!e have matching costumes*. buck and eddie are going to drunkenly kiss/almost kiss which causes tension between them. buck and tommy will end up broken up.

what actually happened: tommy showed up to the bachelor party despite being on standby, meaning he could have open been there for 5 minutes before having to leave. no one else dressed up in costume or 80s themed, tommy wasn’t the only one. tommy only leaves because he gets called into work and promises buck he’ll try his best to make it to the wedding. buck is visibly upset but they hug and buck even tells him to be safe. most of the episode afterwards is chimney focused and at the end we get tommy showing up for buck, sooty, grimey in his turnout gear because he didn’t even bother getting changed because he wanted to show up for buck. tommy is showing he will put in effort of buck, even if it means not sleeping for at least 12 hours and showing up after fighting a fire all night and day. they kiss in the middle of the hospital, buck brings tommy to the hospital room with soot all over his face, basically coming out to everyone including his parents. buck is showing he’s not anxious to let people know he’s queer anymore which is a huge contrast from 7x05.

certain 7x09 spec/response: eddie is shown after buck gets his award, this points to bvdd!e endgame because everyone else has their loved ones shown after their medals. tommy’s comment about “enjoy while is lasts” is rude and pointing to bucktommy bones. the still we thought was between eddie and buck isn’t right but! buck still shows up at eddies house to confront him, ditching tommy for eddie.

what actually happened: yes, each character has their loved ones shown on screen after their medals, but i think the reason they chose eddie for after buck was because he was the last one called and it easily fit as his named is called while he’s on screen. also no one denies eddie and buck love each other, it just may not be romantic. tommy’s comment perfectly shows how he and buck contrast each other but work very well together as well. it’s very black cat x golden retriever vibes between them from what we’ve been shown. it’s also mostly there to foreshadow the return of gerrard. buck doesn’t ditch tommy for eddie because buck doesn’t stay all night, surely it’s implied buck still went to tommy’s afterwards. buck goes to eddies because he’s genuinely worried for his friend, thats what friends do for each other, tommy can wait an hour more for buck it’s not a big deal.

certain 7x10 spec/response: buck is going to ditch his date with tommy for eddie. bucktommy bones!

what actually happened: eddie fucks up bad. buck is there for eddie because he’s a good friend. buck and tommy’s date isn’t interrupted at all, in fact it’s nice that it was squeezed into the episode to show were their relationship is currently at. tommy can tune into buck’s emotions, he can tell needs to say something and asks if he’s okay. they’re still on getting to know each other terms but are becoming comfortable sharing vulnerable things about themselves to each other. they’re also openly flirting and being sexually suggestive with each other. bucktommy bones… oh boy. they sure do.

after each speculation became untrue, proven wrong, people seemed to double down on their toxic behavior and hatred of a fictional couple/person because they weren’t getting what they wanted to the point of harassment towards cast, crew and other fans. now im not saying all bucktommy shippers are angels, but the hostile reaction of people from one subset of the fandom left a bad taste in my mouth. most accounts i enjoyed i ended up blocking due to toxicity and their outright bullying towards those who enjoyed bucktommy even if they still believed in bvdd!e endgame. no im not embarrassed of being a multishipper or ‘jumping ship’ (i still ship bvdd!e i’m just convinced it’ll stay fanon atm) it’s a completely normal thing to happen in fandom, it’s not a sin to begin liking other ships or to start shipping characters with other people that you previously shipped with someone else. there’s a reason people enjoy buck and tommy together and it’s not because we just want to see two men kiss, that argument is so overused and bullshit because mlm ships so prominent in fandom you could use that argument for literally every mlm ship in existence that you hate. despite the echo chamber certain toxic fans are in, bucktommy has been well received by the GA and other 911 fans who couldn’t care less about buck and eddie as a ship. overall, this does not mean your ship isn’t valid, canonicity is not the end all be all of ships, it’s about having fun and being creative. it’s when you start trying to deny canon and villainize characters/ships/shippers simply because it exists that causes people to start making posts exactly like this.

[raykat]

hey I hope you don't mind me asking but I noticed you posting about your ocs for an original project and that seems super cool!!! :O would love to hear more about them if you're willing to share? because they seem neat and I love the designs! also I just love hearing people talk about their ocs so ,,

oh no i dont mind at all in fact thank you so much for asking & being so nice about my project it means a lot to me as its been my biggest source of comfort recently <3

honestly not sure how to even start bc while ive been working my way through developing the main cast & worldbuilding for it for a quite a bit now idk how to put all of it in a summary that is simultaneously engaging enough & not too spoilery as id like to keep the main story beats unknown before im able to put out anything substantial...

the main thing i suppose is that the main cast consists of five humans who are all part of a group specializing in ghost hunting & exorcisms (those might not be the best words to describe it but thats the general idea). the story itself takes place on earth, but things are slightly different because theres an alien presence that corrupts the far side of moon and by extension the earth (& presumably some other planets as well); it causes various changes in the moon cycles, (such as, for example, the moon moving closer to the earth during certain periods of time) & is the reason for supernatural and spiritual occurrences on the planet. due to this many things that are seen as possible but questionable in our reality are very much real in this version of the universe. still, not everyone believes in those, since people develop different levels of affinity to the supernatural - some see & sense nothing at all, some are pretty much constantly haunted by visions, if you will (which btw isn't an innate quality that people are born with - it is affected by your surroundings & upbringing, as well as your general state of mind - there is a Heavy psychological aspect to this entire thing, really).

now, what the general storyline mainly comes down to is that at times the surplus of supernatural presence & energy in a single place may cause rifts between reality to happen - think something like the limbo or liminal spaces, they vary case by case based on what specific entity was the main cause - which is something these "ghost hunter" groups mainly deal with.

so the main gang enters one of those rifts - this specific one consists of several layers & is populated by these fish-like humanoids of different types that seem to mutate further into fully animalistic sea creatures as time goes by. now, once humans enter this type of rift, their connection to reality may be severed and they might not be able to directly interact with it until they figure out how to fully exit the rift. so thats the main goal for the first part of the story - to find a way out and stay sane since as their connection to reality & humanity fades over time, the ties to the other side only grow stronger (especially for those who have a higher affinity for the supernatural - which may include specific people in the main group...).

as i've already said before, the story has a heavy psychological aspect (one of the main reasons why i started working on it in the first place was to process some of my less than pleasant emotions - so thats probably why) so a lot of it is centered around the experiences, feelings, fears, ambitions and memories of the main characters (& some others as the story goes on) as well as the intricacies of their relationships between each other. a lot of worldbuilding also elaborates on those ideas and serves a specific symbolic purpose (i'll be very curious about how everything will be interpreted by different people, the ones who i hope will eventually take interest in the story once its out there - i also hope this doesnt sound too pretentious, im just a huge fan of metaphors & introspective analysis n all that stuff). perhaps some people may even relate to it in a way - which would be very reassuring to me as i'll be getting into a lot of things that are very personal jshsjsbd (though some are also just my own interpretations of what i've seen but haven't necessarily felt or experienced).

this came out so long my gosh im sorry. and i've only actually covered a very small part of everything without getting into much detail... 😭😭😭😭 so far there are supposed to be like ~3 parts of the project (game?) overall, all three likely being a bit different from each other in the general tone. also while writing all this i realized that i think you specifically asked about ocs and not like the whole thing hshsjhsbd but since i typed all of this out might as well put it out there it anyways. ill try to post more stuff related specifically to the main cast though. i put a lot of effort into developing their identities, relationships & making them feel as real as possible. they are my children who i love (to torture) and cherish a lot <3 they're the driving force of this universe, which yeah ofc makes sense since they Are the main cast, but what i mean is rather than reacting to what's happening they're very proactive in making the story move forward so pretty much everything leads back to them somehow. there are many side characters that i've also put a lot of work into and who represent something that is very important to me - i'll try my best to post more about them as well. i think i may try to make some spreadsheets & charts & little comics with them so people can get to know them without me venturing too far into the spoiler territory..?

this is so long and somehow i still feel i've barely said anything... also i apologize for the delayed answer i've been a little busy the past few days and i needed the time to sit down and write this whole thing since i knew it would take looooong. i'm so grateful for your ask & thank you for taking interest in my project i really appreciate it so much <3

[rayroseu]

I GOTTA LET THIS OUT OF MY FRANTIC MIND RN OR I'LL DETONATE FR

!! major spoilers for book 7 part 3 !!

i couldnt watch the entirety of the stream because it got released during my class D: ALSO BIG WARNING THAT THIS IS ALL OVER THE PLACE AKDJSK i just want to ramble💥

BUT from what i got--- ? The beginning was Idia's dream most likely and ofc, its the dream he wishes were real... where Ortho's alive-- 😭😭

I missed the following part after that but it seems Malleus was invited to the orientation AT LAST??!?!?!?!! I'm presuming that no matter what dream a person is having while asleep, Malleus is a part of it where he isn't excluded and feared???

☆

Its well known now that Book 7 will heavily imply familial messages and from what we seen with Shroud Family so far, is that they were very communicative and supportive of each other in the loving way possible.

I assumed they were strict and cold parents before but I'm glad its wrong, cuz this is such a nice twist 💕 their dynamic reminds me of disney Hera and Zeus affection on Hercules--- I wonder if theyre showcasing this as parallel of Diasomnia's??? So far in canon, most of them rarely talk about much they actually mean w each other or even being wholesome like the Shrouds were lol But still... its undeniable theyre family as wellll 🙏

Seems like the groovy nowadays are more 'wholesome'??? i wonder if theyre taking their whole message that "every villain isnt just purely a villain/evil" more strongly now-- 👀 idk if that will correlate w book 7 but i hope they (the devs) take time to finalize it since the impact of this overblot is so severe even I cant predict how they can mend this KAJSKAK

○

I really have to watch Mickey Through the looking glass, the references are killing me--

ALSO YESSS HIGH FIVE WITH MICKEYY AAAA 🥺💕💕 IM SO glad Yuu remembers what happened!!! IVE BEEN HOPING FOR THAT, that they got to have a big role for this book!!😭😭 Thank you TWST for hearing Yuu stans collective wishes--

this is actually Mickey's Dream... The date seems to be flipped and many theorized its flipped number 15, which is Silver's Birthdate-- 👀 idk what that means and why on Mickey's place?? and beside the mirror as well💥

♡

you know that GIF of Charlotte (Princess and the Frog) squealing with a newspaper??? THATS MEEEE--- AAAA SILYUUU FEAST!! SILYUU FEAST!!!! SILYUU NATION SO BLESSEDDD😭💖💖💖💖

when he says hold on tight while the surroundings crumbles down and we're about to get swallowed by ink blots, it is so!!!!! *delusional mind* SO ROMANTIC OF HIMMM 😭💖💕😭💖💕omg,,,, what a shoujo moment, we are winning everyone 👍🤲💕🤌✨🙌🙌

ALSO UNIQUE MAGIC REVEAL HOOYAAAHH🙌🙌

also his magic is so complicated 😭😭 theres A LOT of conditions to be met before it can even be used--

i wonder if thats similar to how Ortho said that for Mickey to appear in the mirror (at book part 1 where the first years are at the cafeteria) , certain conditions should be met??? I mean, Silver And yuu have some parallels already... esp the fact that Lilia says during when yuu felt unwell at the party, he stated its similar to Silvers face when hes about to fall asleep--

□

Afterwards is Sebek's dream..... we alll collectively sobbed at this part of the livestream HNGGGG sebek why would ur dream be like that-- IT HURTS SO MUCH 😭😭😭

Malleus accepting his graduation(?) from NRC with no qualms, Lilia graduating as well and leaving for Red Dragon Nation because of his internship and not his weakening magic...🥺💔💔

Sebek's reaction at Malleus overblotting was the most relatable one (fear and disbelief) over others and his dream was the mirror to what we(the fandom) wouldve wished what happened-- IM SOBBING WHY U DO THIS SEBEK AIDUHFJEUFN!!!😭😭😭💥💔

DONT EVEN. GET ME STARTED. ON HOW DOTING LILIA WAS TO SILVER..!!!! like wthhksjdj THATS SO EVIL TWST!!! THATS SO LETHAL MALLEUS OHMYGOD--- so evil to use everything silver wanted from lilia just for him to stay in this dream where::

-lilias healthy, lilia is staying w silver, lilia is caring to him, and how hes returning to briar valley to live with him forever??? BRO HOW MANY TEARS WERE SHEDDING TONIGHT HUH...--💔💔💔😭😭😭

●

MALLEUS IS SO MAD WE WOKE UP SEBEK OHMYGOODNESS 💥💥💥😭😭😭

I always love his voice, it seems his tone is so harsh and cold now when he overblotted its so sexy--- and at the same time terrifyingggg 👍🛐 Kazuki Kato, I love his performance in this, this is so haunting in the most agonizing way 😭💚💚

... NOT TSUNOTAROU GOING FULL BOARD ON THE DELUSIONAL LAND BESTIE I KNEW YOU WERE BAD BUT THIS IS ON A WHOLE NEW TIER OF BADNESS OORAUGJ😟💥💥

HIS ATTACKS ARE SO COOL AAAAAA I WAS AMAZED AND SCARED THE WHOLE TIME I CANT WAIT TO MEET HIM ON TWST EN OMGGG😩🙏🙏

■

byeee i never wrote a reaction post as long as this before KDJKAKD

theyre really dropping the obvious hints that crowley is a fae alright....⁉️⁉️👀👀

THE ALL AWAITED GENERAL VANROUGE REVEALLL!!!!!! im just.... oh... have we all PROPERLY look at him??? RIGHT NOW IM STILLLL SAVORING ALL THOSE DETAILS!!! MY GOODNESS---

i basically sped read allllll the musings twst twt and tumblr have been swooning about him and OH HE DESERVES ALL THE ADMIRATION 🙏🙏🙏ESPECIALLY HIS MAGIC AT HIS ENTRANCE!!!!!! ARE U KIDDING THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLL THE BATS SWAYING AND THE RED SPARKLES BEFORE HE TELEPORTED?????? SHIT I WOULDVE PASSED OUT FROM AMAZEMENT RIGHT THEN AND THERE-- BEGGING ON MY KNEES TO GET THAT ANIMATED 😩😩😩🙏🙏

AND IT ALL ENDED JUST LIKE THAT AAAIUSIAUSU!!!!! 😩😩😩 I WANT MORE BUT AAAA too much information will make me overload now akdjksd another long few more months before part 4 releases 😳😳 AND OOO I CANNOT WAITTT

=

my prediction is that theyre delving more into briar valleys history in the lens of Lilia's past.

My interpretation is that Lilia's dream related to his past is bcs he kind of whispered to himself that the reason hes leaving is because of his weakening state and how he doesnt want to wish anyone to see him like that.... I guess his wish was that he could be as strong as he was before... Really reminds me of Mulan's father 😭

IM WISHING DESPERATELY FOR MORE YUU RELATION NEXT PART AND THIS TWITTER THREAD SUMS UP ALL MY SPECULATIONS AS TO WHY YUU ISNT INVOLVED IN THE DREAMS WE HAVE SO FAR

"malleyuu divorce" is my fave phrase from op from now on lol

livestream of book 7 part 3

[azuresins]

The first thing I noticed in the chapter 204 cover art was both Finny's thorns and, the way his hairclips are arranged like Roman Numeral Eleven. (XI)... This is also a reference to Jesus Christ, which. Seemed like Yana wanted us all to know for absolute certain, that this thorn crown is specifically a Christian reference and wants us to really notice, and for us to compare Finny to Jesus. Which is interesting to me, because in the picture Finny is dressed like a vampire... I can't help but wonder, if Christ's resurrection, is meant to enter our mind, too. ...? The dead can't come back to life that we know of in the context of the manga so far, but there are Bizarre Dolls (I forgot no one calls them Weird Barbies except me and I almost typed that and left it in), and there are Death Gods, both of these are beings that were human, once and have died (more or less). We don't know anything about vampires, but now I have to wonder what Yana has in mind for Finny's fate...

Is he... fated to be die, and come back...?... is that too good (or terrible??) to be true...? Finnian is my favorite, and I know I'm actively trying to talk myself out of the hope that he's not just going to die, and thats it. But, still. That seemed a highly specific choice. There's nothing to suggest any human character will be a Grim Reaper definitively and I certainly can't make that claim off of one thing she's drawn, but Finnian in particular, always kind of gave me pause simply because. He's the gardener. He uses garden tools every day. What if that was some kind of foreshadowing, since all the grim reapers in Kuroshitsuji use a variety of garden tools and not just typical scythes ... is it possible? The only others we've seen garden to that degree, are Grelle (...lol) and Sebastian. For a human character we've known for a long time, to undergo that human to death god transformation, in real time? Before our eyes? We haven't seen that, yet. That could be interesting... but would she do that, and would she choose someone like Finnian (or any of the other servants) for that part? I don't know, but. I am looking directly at this art and I am suspicious of it. If nothing else, it's scratched my brain. Is it possible fanfic fodder, if nothing else? Yes. I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot, but I stand by that I think Finnian is extremely important and paramount to this story, there's more to him than most think... It's also worth mentioning by contrast, Snake, is dressed as a Hogwarts Wizard, right. Except... Snake, really DOES actually TALK to snakes. In that context, this frames that reference a bit interestingly... because to talk to snakes, would mark someone as a respected, feared, and powerful wizard in the context of the series he's making reference to. Our snake isn't a powerful wizard (I mean, that we know of, we really don't know much about snake yet), but that's not the point I'm trying to make. In that series talking to snakes isn't a good thing, but, it still makes his outfit interesting-- because he can actually do that. Talk to snakes. What does Finny, then, have in common with a vampire with a Jesus complex? "Super human" quality? Abused by humans? Guilt? Unwavering loyalty, to the point of martyrdom? ... is that all? Is there anything else? ???

[kabutoden]

i also really liked gamzee back in the day!! i was always kinda upset more effort wasn't put into trying to help him get better- especially when it got to the point an endearing character was just written off to be eternally a villain. so many time shenanigans to help bring back others/help others mental health, and yet gamzee was always just written off as a crazed murderer after a certain point?? felt like he stopped being a character and just became a force of nature. i like your more in depth look into the specific trauma he faced, makes him more like an actual person!

im so glad you like my interpretation of gamzee!! i was always really upset by how he was completely denied redemption after being introduced as a such a sweet and neglected kid who was in touch with his feelings enough to entirely reject acceptance of violence in his society. the narrative treats him really weirdly, i'm so glad i can talk about gamzee redemption+positivity with others!!

another thing i think about a lot is how rage is introduced in the narration as a biological function in highblooded trolls, but gamzee is still seen as culpable for his actions while in the rage state. tbf, its terrifying, but rose was never blamed for being manipulated by doc scratch into becoming grimdark the way gamzee is into becoming rage induced. it's all very weird. but also, i think moirails existing to 'tame a highbloods rage' is completely fucked and victim-blamey in a way, like 'oh you failed to calm his rage that's why he's bad now' and being built this way sets up a negative relationship. karkat's conflicted love and fear of gamzee makes me very sad and i dont think he should have the responsibility of caring for gamzee alone. it bothers me in fics when karkat cares for gamzee alone, because i dont think karkat's feelings for gamzee are unique; karkat's got like, four best friends. more even. sollux, terezi, kanaya, gamzee and dave all end up close to karkat and i think acting as a community would be more important and effective than a lone moralliegence with any one of them. bugs work together moment.

i'm also very invested in stories about creatures coexisting and caring for another who are biologically distinct, which i think i loved about the trolls from when i was 13. i really liked that the trolls were struggling against their 'fates' and the heavy pressure of biological essentialism in their society. i remember reading inverted caste fics where the same traits were instead seen as weaknesses rather than romanticized as strengths and being totally fascinated. thats why in bugstuck rage isnt thrown out as a concept, but instead changed as something similar to a prey drive in animals. some of my original fiction is gonna be all about stuff like this, acting as criticism and discussion of media like zootopia and beastars. im embarrassed to talk so much but thanks for listening! gonna reblog this with some more info

[roseamongroses]

its called the parker curse not the morales curse 😒

atsv spoilers under cut

ok...jokes aside. after a certain point when miguel was going in on miles, i don't think he was talking about miles anymore.

and to be clear, what he said and how he said it can't be easily taken back--scorched earth yada yada-- so its impact still stands. but if you've ever had an argument as a child with a traumatized + unhealed adult-- it felt like that.

had me sweating in the theatre because you can feel him projecting HEAVY mid-way through. the way he dealt with miles, even before he started the hunt, def felt like he was punishing his past self / trying to stop his past self rather then understand a new situation +person

the assumptions he was making about miles and how he handles multi-dimensional travel, seem to lean heavy on fear. and that makes sense considering his past, but i do think only viewing justice within the lens of fearing what may happen isn't productive in the long run.

they still don't know how these initial dimensional slip ups happen before the collider exploded and bagel guy showed up. (or do they???lol) nor do they know what decides canon and non-canon (i remember the comic book authority approval at the beginning of the film and i wonder if they get mentioned again or if its just a one off joke)

(getting a lil meta there, do you think we'll get a lego movie esq ending next movie???mfkers wake up and realize they're comic book characters)

-

on the conflict

personally i love a good "hero tries to save them all, and realizes their innate limitations" type storyline, but i don't think that's the conclusion they're going for.

for example i thought Pavitr would def get his shit rocked after his spiel about being spiderman being easy and that he's happy. and he did go through something (and probably will go through something else considering he has a living girlfriend )

BUT he was able to reach out for help instead. he couldn't do it all, but he didn't have to. and i think that plot line is just as compelling as him failing outright and dragging himself out of the trenches as a lonely hero.

the "save one person vs. an entire dimension" conflict is interesting because miles is a believer in "why not both". often times with these trolly problem esq. situations, the person who questions the existence of the dilemma is dismissed.

miles is considered naive because he thinks he can "do it all". but i don't think thats the case. miles considers both because despite the trauma, he's been surrounded by a loving community who sees the best in him.

so he knows (consciously or not) that he can do both because he's not alone. he is the lone spiderman, but that doesn't have to be the case. that's why he was so excited for the spider-club cause he thought he wouldn't have to endure alone, but instead he was met with the fact that the club was meant to reaffirm their loneliness rather then circumvent it.

(also the possibility of this franchise introducing other heros later on is something im begging for btw but ik copyright will nuke that)

if miles is an anomaly, the possibility of his events deviating from the norm does exist. miles had the right to question if it was really the only way or if miguel just didn't want to try otherwise. and to be honest im questioning if miles was really the first anomaly considering we don't have all the details about miguel's backstory

-

on comics

what does it mean to be spiderman? to uphold goodness? to be a compelling hero?

For a lot of the characters explored, their justice is tied to their suffering. they are good heros because they've seen the worst and wil. endure the worst and that's what makes them compelling. but with this "new" generation of heroes, that doesn't hold up when we consider intersectional identities and what the audience desires to see from their hero's.

if the audience is already enduring and suffering in their day-to-day lives what can they get out of a story that only reaffirms the daily injustices of their reality. i don't want heros that look like me if they only uphold the status quo "suffer, work, live, be good". that isn't enough. i love me some angst, but what else makes the story compelling???

i read the superhero genre because i want better. I want to be able to fight back, to question, to explore. to stretch the idea of what goodness and justice looks like for communities that are used to being told to accept the bare minimum and just survive.

[youtubeyouniversitytherapy]

#1 Check in // July'24 - F1nn

Finn didn’t mind therapy. He was surprised so many of his peers found it to be the worst torture this place could inflict on them. It was just therapy! He doesn’t mind. His therapist was nice and they helped her keep up with his HRT…

Dean Tat was patient and tolerant, and she helped them find words he didn’t know where to even start looking for them. She has her happy little hour every week to talk to the therapist about whatever she wants. A captive audience to whatever info she had to dump. Every thought she had held back, jokes she couldn’t say to certain people. She could package them up and save them for these weekly talks. Get it out and have a good laugh with her. It was very cleansing. 

“I love hearing you had fun with your friends this week, Finn.” She looks at her with a smile and gives a little nod before she goes on. “I know you have quite a few we talk about often, but what about the new students? Have you been… welcoming to them.”

“Of course I have! I love the new girls. Jaiden has always been cool but Tara, the new Alpha, she’s…” He trails off feeling his face go hot and adjusting so he sat up straighter, pushing his hair back from his face. “She has been very nice, which I’m glad because new girls in the house can be very scary.” He makes a face but purses his lips and looks to Tat, who is reading a note she wrote earlier. 

“Does it worry you more that new women enter the house than new men?” She asks looking back to them.

“Yeah, I guess. When girls are mean it hurts way more.” 

“Is it because it feels like the rejection is more personal?”

“Maybe. They just know how to hit where it hurts in a way guys don’t unless they really know you.”

“Does it have anything to do with the fear they’ll reject you as a woman?” Finn looks at her like he didn’t know who he was talking to all of a sudden like his real therapist had just burst in the door to tell him she was an imposter. “You’ve expressed you concern about not being seen as a girl.”“Seen as a girl, seen as one, not- not accepted as a woman. That’s different- thats-!” Dean Tat puts up a gentle hand as a quiet apology and it is quick to calm Finn down.

“I’m sorry to misunderstand.” She looks at them like she was calming a startled animal. “I’m trying to understand you the same way you are trying to understand yourself, but I have much less information than you.” She gives a sympathetic smile and Finn gives a nod. “With that said we’re coming to the end of our session and I’d like to ask you something we went over before but in case the answer has changed I’d like to present it, is that okay?”

“Yeah sure.” They shrug and sit forward, ready to get up and leave. This week has suddenly become a lot heavier than usual. 

“Most of your peers and teachers call you Rose, would you like us to also call you Rose? It would be no inconvenience.” She assures him but is met with a disgruntled expression and a shaking head. 

“Ew, I’d hate that.” He dismisses it and stands but shows that he wasn’t bothered with a chuckle and smile. “It be so weird don’t you think? I’m still Finn, you all know me.” He gives a shrug. “I don’t need people who know me to call me anything different. It wigs me out.” 

“Do your peers and teachers not know you?” 

Finn freezes and sits back down for a second, then immediately stands back up. 

“I’m not ready to talk about that yet.” He squeaks out and gives a polite nod before getting up and head to the door. “See you next week, Dean Tat.” He hears her slightly disappointed sigh but nods sympathetically as she gives a wave. 

“See you next week, Finn.”

[kenta-torture]

Heheheheh can you post another ramble if you have another idea i really love it take your time though >__<

take your time though.................->currently sifting through my brain for ideas. tips skull over and two snakes fall out. scratches head.

i think u people want a kenta mikoshiba character study. which is something ill probably do at some point actually but i need to finish the cds and loop through everything again. which i only do on school days so well see.

anyways breaking away from the kenta torture (hey thats my name!) the only kenta thing thats been on my mind lately is 2p and girl kenta. or like any aus. but 2p and girl kenta for today. its a ramble so there is no like end point here im spilling my brains

starting off with 2p. im a big fan of the idea of reverse/opposite characters because there are sooo many ways to oppose someones character. in the same way that there is no definitive opposite of happiness, you can argue that maybe anger or sadness or fear is the opposite, there isnt an objective way to make an evil kenta.

i say this all to say that i dont have a good grasp on 2p kenta actually. @/lechatalunette has a 2p(?) paradox live post that i consider like. one of the best ever (i also really like their art in general) which inverts the trait of him being a dickhead into like. an uwu poster. 2p kenta as a blogger to oppose how anonymous he normally is? taps head.

theres also a different direction(? kind of) you could drive 2p kenta into because there is like at least two main traits he has you could flip. what if he was tech stupid. think about it. you could also make him genuinely cruel/manipulative-> which is to say that normal kenta is not that. imo at least. like i think a lot of his bitchiness is a defense mechanism and he would prank/trick people into doing things but he wouldnt go that far. i think he just likes having control-> hey wasnt that director guy like an insanely major part of kentas character. which i get is the point of having a character have a trauma point(bad wording) but still thats kinda crazy 2 me lowkey.

moving onto girl kenta!!!!!!!!!!!!! i also have a hard time thinking about this because like. there are nuances i think im just not smart enough to think of them all. there was this post a while back of someone saying that when they do genderbends of characters it is the exact same. and no hate to that person like that idea doesnt harm anything it just bugs me. because imo a lot of a character writing/personality is affected by gender and like how society differs in reaction to them.

yaoi tangent thats in relation to this its just easier to explain what i mean with yaoi and yuri. obviously at its core they can be interchangeable like two girls who like each other that can be yuri but. there is always a sort of tension/comfortability that comes with gender that isnt always the same. like that one meme of girls who kiss or whatever could just be friends but its different for guys because that is a type of affection that isnt allowed for as much? i might delete this section later because this is with the nuances of gender that i do not get but there are certain things like affection that are seen differently depending on gender.

back to kenta. girl kenta. i think her behavior would be seen more as tsundere ism which i hate cant a girl just be a hater!!!!!!!! i honestly have no main points here i just think she should be even more annoying. i do think that maybe her backstory could be read a bit differently/i mean if you already see kenta's backstory to be that way it would just push it further ig.

rapid shot random kenta aus. i like to look at other series and see how to fit my favs in. milgram fuuta kenta. i think thats obvious from like t1 at least. if we were to base the rest of the au around this i say we have to make ryu amane. because i love kenta and ryu okay so like i read a take that kenta has an interest in ryu because he read alter trigger logs and saw that ryu was like one of the only ones to come out of it kind of normal. which is fine BUT i really like the idea that kenta is like blorbo attatched to ryu does anyone see my vision please please please. "god is talking on my birthday arent i blessed" that is how i talk about my muse my beloved my character of all time.

im into joseimukes if u couldnt tell... but the others ones i know are hypmic which is like. kenta is already a rapper. charisma house kenta is just charisma of. annoying. charisma of being a dickhead. im looking into boys be maids and like. you could put kenta there. he would be a shit maid as we already know though (butler but still...)

twst kenta would fall into iginhyde obv. he would probably bully tf outta idia if given the chance. twisted wonderland tangent but im lowkey a little pissed that iginhyde is only two characters. like the sidekick dumbasses from hercules are right there. and i get that their personalities dont really fit but AAAAAAAAAAH. pokemon kenta with a rotom who he tries to hack and make do things but it just goes "thats illegal ^_^" and kenta thinks of smashing it in with a brick.

anyways. im like out of ideas to talk about www if you have anything u want my opinion on or like to ramble abt. you can ask. it can be anything paradox live related i just know kenta (and. two other characters) best. im actually very surprised that there are atleast two people who like the rambles. i feel so thinker. kyaaaaaah

[perfecteggpartyland]

but thats my point.

there's no objective idea of what being a coward or being brave is. to some people, kevins refusal to explicitly stand up to riko when in his presence vs neils ability to stand up to riko/nathan/others will come across as cowardice.

and they're not inherently wrong for having different ideas of what cowardice and bravery are to you.

neil criticises kevin for the fact that he has a chance to make his life his own, by defying riko in a way which allows him to do that. Kevin relearns how to play with his left hand, but until the end of the series he still hasn't decided he doesn't want to live in rikos shadow anymore. it's part a defiance of riko to relearn and part not when until the end he doesn't intend to actually do anything with that defiance to make it his own. he will just go back to riko being able to play but still being 2nd. neil does in the books explicitly call Kevin out for playing this "middle ground". Neil's frustrations aren't that Kevin is afraid of Riko, his frustrations are that he won't push through it to live by his own means.

And these frustrations are mostly born out of the fact that Neil is jealous that Kevin has a chance when he (he assumes) is going to die. Neil is afraid of his father, yes, but he ultimately chooses to defy that fear by making himself a sitting duck so his life can be his own, even if for a short while. To face certain death so you can live your life in a way you find your own and meaningful, for a lot of people will be seen as bravery.

Kevin learns at the end, in part through multiple conversations with Neil about this, that playing middle ground won't get him what he wants.

That's the core difference between them. Neil loves his mom, true, but he recognises at the start of the series she is a monster. And he defies her by breaking her rules for him to keep running. He loves her, and Kevin loves Riko, but he doesn't let that love control him in the way Kevin let's his love for Riko.

I don't see Neil as hypocritical. I think you misunderstand what Neil criticises Kevin for. He never criticises him for loving Riko, he criticises him for refusing to defy him despite it. He doesn't criticise Kevin for being afraid of Riko, but rather his issues are with the fact Kevin won't commit to pushing through the fear to live his own life.

Got it but once again kevin IS traumatized and like Neil he fears for his own life rightfully so also. My point is that in the end he does pushes through so even if people thought he was a coward I don't get why he's still called that? After seeing the end? But I do think as much as I love Neil that's he is a hypocrite; but I love that feral gremlin to death so🦋

[as-i-watch]

in my opinion i think the opla did a very good job of trying to emulate the one piece manga and anime, but there’s a part of the anime that they can’t really convey through the live action. like… i think that the cartooniness of one piece, as well as the occasional emotional moments is what makes one piece one piece, but while the opla was able to get some of it, being a live action, it wasn’t able to convey all of it

it’s still wonderful, and i love it, but i like to compare it to the percy jackson movies. good live actions in their own right (still think opla did it WAY better) but compared to the original, it falls short (percy jackson a lot, opla a tiny bit)

i think the main issue for me is the characterisation. inaki did a very good luffy, but you can clearly see how it’s so inaki luffy instead of luffy luffy. still good, but still different

and i think mackenyu did zoro well, but in my opinion, it doesn’t fit him very well. zoro (while i still love him) isn’t as pretty as mackenyu is. mackenyu is too much of a pretty boy

i actually remember hearing in an interview that mackenyu grew up with anime, and of course one piece. i think he emulates zoro extremely well, and he tries his best to make it anime accurate, but he as a person just doesn't fit perfectly, the vibes are kinda off. still absolutely in love with him though

i think that it shouldn't have skipped so many parts of the original, but of course, it completely makes sense why they did

anyways, like i said, i think that if you don't compare them to each other, it's very good, and i do love how they did it (i'm also so happy that so many people loved the live action that they're actually starting to watch the anime!!)

I just finished episode 3 but i totally agree

My biggest fear when the adaptstion was announced was precisely that, bc one piece is so one of a kind, it can make you smile, it can make you sad, you cry tears of joy and of pain, and the anime takes the time to develope the charecters, the stories and the world, so sometimes the emotions are conveyed in such a subtle but effective way bc they took the time to make sure it did. Not to mention the tone and aesthetic. There's a lot that was gonna be difficult to translate to live action

That said, so far i think they did it great! I think they found a certain balance between the cartoonish and the 'real world' lets call it, and they took advantage very cleverly of cgi and practical effects to achive that too.

I agree the thing that perhaps lacks for me too is the charecters and also the pasing imo. But again, it was impossible to fit the storytelling way of the famously 'too long' anime in a 8 episodes per series format.

I too think Luffy feels the most different, i already talked a bit about that and i think it was just the result of it being a western production plus the complex charecter Luffy is. But Iñaki put so much love into his Luffy, you can feel it, its endearing

I dont have a problem with Mackenyu's Zoro funny enough. Sure, i miss how silly anime Zoro can be (but again, the tone thing) and they tried to make it too purposefully imo. Zoro is not edgy. He is badass and a maniac but he doesnt want to wear only black or cares about pressenting an "attitude". But there's a ray of hope for me (i havent finish the show so it might change my mind), the biggest stupid ass smile when he said he'd cut Helmepo's hair. He can be silly and less serious, so i hope i get to see more of that as he feels more comfortable in the crew.

Nami i like, im waiting for the Arlong park arc to make up my mind bc thats where her true colors shine either way. Really liking her dynamic with Luffy so far tho

Havent seen Sanji yet

And Usopp, i just met him and this might sound mean but this Usopp is too cool. Kinda like what you said for Zoro. I think this Usopp has more confidence in himself than anime/manga Usopp did back then and he is not that much of a coward. The coward part is important bc every time he stood up to fight it meant so much more. But again, is early for me to make up my mind this is just first impressions

But like you said, this is just bc of the comparison, on its own i think they are all doing amazing jobs and, so far for me, the writers managed to pull off something that to me was next to impossible and in a great way too.

Im curious to see how someone that hasnt watched the anime reacts to the mixed tone of live action meets silly cartoonish vibes, i hope its not too of context for a first time watcher

[ludinusdaleth]

hey, i'm new to cr fandom and wasn't there when c2 was airing, may i ask out of curiosity what was the fandom's problem with its ending?

i want to start by saying this post is meant as a personal memory and not an incitement of any discourse. i do not want a lot of asks or replies or anything about this if i can help it. i would also politely ask that no one reblog this as i really just. dont want attention about this when ive discussed it to death on twitter. i also apologize for not having screenshots but i truly cannot bring myself to wade through that again. it was bad enough i still have nightmares about it.

basically, about 3 eps before c2's end, matt clarified on twitter the campaign was coming to a close, and that. did not go well. you see, folk (myself included, though i wasnt part of the following clown show) were very sure c2 would continue a while. it felt unfinished as the empire/trent had to be taken down, and for some of us ludinus was clearly the big bad, etc. so this was incredibly jarring to a lot of folk. and with that came anger. a lot of critique came down to fear of things being rushed, a lack of closure, claims of extreme neoliberialism due to not taking down the empire (i could write an essay on and cite multiple leftist activists who have stated c2 is truthful to the activist tale, not neoliberalism, and also how c3 deconstructs beau & caleb's actions, but everyone is allowed to have their own opinion on it), and that if shadowgast did not fuck in this short timespan the fans were going to kill liam & matt. and threats of killing were the least of what ensued. im just gonna put a tw here for discussion of extreme harrassment and even threat of necrophilia/rape:

people were. atrocious. beyond atrocious. know why 4sd/a lot of q&a events of theirs for a while had no fan questions? partially bc fans were frankly terrible at asking non-ship questions on talks machina, but mainly because folk FILLED their inboxes with insults (and a twitter account was made of screenshots bragging about it) that only the crew would get to filter out, not the cast. know why dani was terrified to show her face on 4sd for a bit? c2 fans would not let up on how it was her cishet fault fjorjester happened. people thought the solution to alleged neoliberalism was to therefore @ travis saying they would defile his veteran fathers corpse. if there was any solid discussion critiquing c2 happening, it was so drowned that actors who had nothing to do with the show told cr fans to stay away if that was how they treated their favorite creators wanting a break. it really didnt help that a certain disgraced talks machina host was firing potshots on twitter when the cast seemed to be just trying to take it all in, so more discourse was kicked up from him. in general besides all of that, you had the average death & even a few rape threats you would expect from the pits of fan entitlement. the way they were hardly the most notable of the insults hurled their way still rattles the mind. and thats just what i saw. my friends have claimed to have seen worse, but if we can help it we dont discuss it in detail, it's that bad. like i said, any idea of an actual conversation about c2 and how someone felt about it from an analysis perspective was not even a drop in the bucket; there was no actual discourse but rather spitting hatred pouring over that mistook personal grievances for excuses to mistreat quite literally anyone around them who didnt agree that threatening to defile someone was funny bittersweet revenge.

the thing is, after the c2 finale happened? i mean, a lot of folk didnt originally like it (i think it's generally pretty well liked now, and i enjoy it), but it wrapped up a lot of issues pretty well. all that terror & terrorizing over a fictional story was really for nothing. and even if it had ended undebateably badly did anything warrant that fallout?

there are of course a few other factors that seperate cast from fandom now. laura also got innumerable threats from tlou fans for playing some antagonist character, twitter is a dysfunctional shithole, and it's just rational the more popular you get to not be buddy-buddy with fans. but that was. a Time, for sure. c3 is a decent campaign but im far from the first person to note that many of its traits are set in trying to find vox machina's fixed story beats so no story beat is left "unturned" and being as un-m9-like as possible, even when they love the m9. a lot of the worst m9 fans now who harrass other campaign enjoyers and lament c2 being "an unloved middle child" are folk who never left the bitterness they held in that time. for as much discourse as c3 has kicked up i really dont think any of it compares to the sheer scale of what happened late may 2021, and im hoping with all my heart it never does reach that level ever again (i think c3 has a slightly smaller (at least online) fanbase compared to c2, and isnt marked by a pandemic hiatus, so hopefully that means something).

i hope i answered your question. i really hate remembering this time but sometimes i think it should be remembered so folk know what the cost of extreme parasociality is. the distance the cast has from fans now is not only earned but maybe should have always been there, so things never evolved to that extremity. but now it's done and gone. i envy people who watch cr on their own merits and didn't get sucked into twitter at the time; it has been fascinating watching folk say they love the travelercon/aeor arcs and the ending. rewatching later c2 really emphasizes how many complaints hinged on extremely online & parasocial headspaces - you definitely wont hear anyone nowadays say liam is a biphobic cishet abusing matt by not making caleb kiss essek yet. i hope new fans have a better time than we did. oh - and get off twitter.

[monster-school-au]

BSD MONSTERS & HUNTERS (school) AU

SEE CARD: https://bsd-monster-au.carrd.co/#

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

RULES;

chars (ocs and canons) should be 18+ for the most part, w/ few exceptions (carrd elaborates more on exceptions, if you have another idea, feel free to dm me!)

please state whether your char is a student, teacher, or if they have another role!

tag this account or @frenchtoastbites to be added to the masterlist, so i can keep track of what we have

preferably get a wide array of canons before doing repeats, but if thats not possible try to go for alternate versions first (like beast or fem chuuya, if there's already a regular chuuya)

respect boundaries obvi... thats general decency tho

HAVE FUN!!! AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN IM GLAD I FINISHED IN TIME TO SAY THAT

GENERAL LORE / AN INTRO ~

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

Focusing on the supernatural creatures of various mythologies and their dynamic with humans, this AU has a lot of creative freedom and opportunities for characters to be... pretty much whatever you want, with only a few limits! I encourage people to make both hunters and monsters, but if you have an idea for something that sooorttt of bridges the gap, please DM me!

The accepted/predicted species list can be found specifically on the carrd! If you have an idea for something not on that list, please dm me.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

In this AU, things are relatively similar to the actual world, but monsters and the supernatural are, indeed, real. The time period is somewhat medieval, and there is little to no modern technology.

Some components and materials that can only come from monsters can better the standard of living for humans-- which is one of the reasons people began to hunt them. For example: selkie (think beautiful seal mermaid) blubber produces much purer oil that burns longer and hotter. Whaling expeditions were costly and the creatures could only be found in certain areas, but originally, selkies could be found anywhere with a rocky coastline. Humans also began to hunt off monsters for religious reasons-- monsters were often seen as synonymous with the demonic, and therefore many of the first proper hunter organizations where closely associated with the church. Others hunted for vengeance or out of fear; some monsters could have violent instincts, and it was possible for certain ones to spread their "condition" to humans.

Some people can go through their lives without knowing about monsters-- the government, which primarily exists in the form of a unified international theocracy-- tries to hide the existence of monsters from the general population. The humans that do know of the existence of monsters typically fall into four categories: higher class, scouted by the government to be a hunter, scouted by the government to be a researcher, or someone who knows about monsters because someone else or they directly witnessed a monster in a way that couldn't be passed off as a simple mistake. (ie; family member was attacked, or was friends with a monster as a child. <-- these things can also happen with your chars!)

In order to protect people from monsters (and hide the truth from the public), large walls were constructed around the major human cities, and the majority of the human population slowly were pushed together as numbers of both humans and monsters generally declined-- monsters from being hunted, and humans from monster retaliations, some of them being transformed into monsters, or killed mistakenly in hunts. Eventually, the vast majority of humans lived in one city-- Salus. (this is Latin for safety.) Of course, some things were still beyond these boundaries-- small farming communities and the occasional chapel in which hunters operated were interspersed throughout the ruins of older settlements and wilderness. For the most part, everywhere beyond Salus was the territory of monsters, which had become more solitary.

As human technology began to advance gradually, with new weapons coming about, monsters needed to learn to help each other and properly use their abilities. Before this, the monsters existed in very spread out communities, primarily based upon their own species. Common leadership only came about officially within the last fifty years or so-- and with it, the prestigious monster university known as Lacrima Academy.

In turn, a human-run university, housed in the shell of an old castle, was formed specifically for training young adults to be well equipped and taught when it came to eliminating monsters. It is called Basilica Academy and is located a bit beyond the walls of Salus. It is rather exclusive, and the school is known for its rigorous practices and harsh training of students. It really isn't too far from Lacrima, which is a few dozen miles from the city of Salus--a choice made intentionally, if human hunters were ever to need to ride toward Lacrima for the purposes of battle on horseback.

MASTERLIST ~

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

Changeling Dazai: @no-longer-changing

More TBA

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

AU RAN BY @frenchtoastbites, FEEL FREE TO REACH OUT THERE AS WELL!

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Hello becks, i dont mean to be rude or make you uncomfortable by this ask.

I also feel ok to ask you this because you are so nice and open about you poly journey and combined with your "auntie who is kinda motherly" aura its just a safe space i think.

So here it goes: do you have any fears of your partner falling for one of his girlfriends or boyfriends and eventualy end the relationship?

Again, id like to think im a pretty level headed person so if i crossed some line im sorry! Tell me if so and i will apologize!

Its just that concept its so foreign to me and i never met anyone who adopted that kind of relationship and from what i read they always say that is great and have a certain freedom with eachother but i never read the inicial fears of it.

Also, when i really like someone i have that "jealousy" that people have in monogamy relationships and thats why i asked the question 💀

Thank u for reading!

Heya Anon! First off, thanks for asking this, more than happy to answer it, this is a safe space it is true.

So I do not have any worries or fear in that regard. Mr.Bex and I have known each other longer than we haven't, we are both turning 31 this year and met when we were 12, we've been friends since high school and dating since I was 19, and he was 18. We have seen each other at our worst and most awkward, have helped each other through the hardest times of our lives, horrible pain and unspeakable joy, we've done it all.

I am more than confident and comfortable with the place of importance I have in his life. I am his best friend, and he's mine, we've been together in a romantic relationship for over a decade, and we're married, are insanely similar and have grown together. Jealousy isn't an emotion I have ever really felt, but Mr.Bex does feel it, and we are still polyam, he has done a lot of self work in that regard, jealousy isn't an inherently bad emotion, it's about how you respond to and act on it.

I love him deeply, and he loves me, we find polyamory makes our relationship stronger if anything.

Maybe it is me being kinda a cocky and confident dick but, I know there is no way anyone could take him from me, no one can replace me and I know he would never try, and why would he? Because he can have other partners in his life. He can love other people, he is in love with his current girlfriend, (who is also my girlfriend atm) and that doesn't threaten what we have or make me worried in the slightest, him loving other people doesn't mean loving me less, it's not a finite resource.

(Also he's straight, not like I think there'd be a better chance of some dude stealing him away but anyway-) But in short, no, it is not a worry I have at all.

[sonicasura]

Which might actually mean that Kafka would have to keep his distant for a good while from Skully and everyone else until he actually is able to control himself. Again. Won't be surprised if Kafka do a accidental reenactment of what happened at the hosptial when it came to damaging the building. No old men at least to scare the bejesus out of at least.

I can see Skully being extra grumpy for the whole time too. And sad that he can't be near his mama at all, even if he understands why. No doubt Soshiro was the one who had to explain why mama was not willing to be anywhere near him.

Can't help but agree that Kafka most be feeling really stupid for not telling his parents sooner. But to his defence, first becoming a kaiju then shortly after becoming a dad too? With all the other shit that happens in canon? I think he is allowed some slack in the fact that telling them was not at the top of his list.

True that. Much like with Kikoru, Soshiro did not have a easy childhood at all, even if it is in a different way then hers. Same with Reno too, and he was lucky he still had family left after what happened. I get the feeling Kafka's parents are gonna quickly put the dots together that their son seems to attract or pick up those with difficult pasts subconsciously.

So there is something I've been curious about for a while and haven't seen so far in any au where Skully is in. Those he has another name for when he is in his human form? I can see once he is able to hold it much longer and isold enough, he can go to school. Which I think would be needed for him to learn a lot of basic stuff his parents and their friends just can't. Not to mention Skully seems like a little soscial butterfly too, so he might actually want to make more friends his age.

Though Soshiro most likely has to go to any parent and teacher meetings and the like. I don't think any teacher will react well if they have to speak to Kafka if he is truely stuck in kaiju form. No matter how friendly he is or what he did, Kafka is scary looking and humans in this world have been taught by a young age to fear kaijus after all. Thats a habit thats hard to get rid off.

Until Kafka can get his strength under control again, he can't give affection and only receive it. The most he can do is touch foreheads with his whelp before that point. Our himbo will reciprocate all the love given once he's cleared.

The scolding Kafka got from his mother was light if I'm being honest since she does it after the explanation. Mama Hibino would be the type to hear you out first before giving a fair response in return. (Isao was in his office for an hour when she got a hold of him.)

Skully does have a human name actually! It's Kai as no one thought a certain mushroom would make our himbo sacrifice his humanity and live stream the event. The whelp treats his human name more like a nickname, it's just people unaware about his true nature aren't aware of it.

Skully does eventually go to school as he starts out in kindergarten. All of his preschool education was done online. Everyone wanted to make sure he can hold his transformation and what is acceptable in a public setting.

Kafka pretty much uses Zoom to participate in any parent/teacher meetings as I don't think he can fit through a normal door anymore. Plus it's gonna take awhile for most people to get used to a kaiju in human society.

[kledface]

One of the harder things I've been trying to do is learn how to not just accept myself, but love myself. If you know me, and my past, im sure you can understand that this isn't an easy thing for me. I've lived surrounded by hateful people who have a habit of seeing the bad in everything and are also rather manipulative. This means i don't have a great sense of, not necessarily right and wrong, but truth and lies, and that i also see all the bad in me. Mom has made some growth, but that doesn't means she's perfect, and some days i don't know which version of her im talking to until she starts heavily suggesting im a demon again or starts rambling about reptilians. These are both actually rather intense triggers for me, and im not proud of it, but just starting to thing about the reptilians is starting to make me panicky, and part of my journey is learning to respect myself for what brings me shame.

I am a man who has lived an uneasy life. I don't have a strong sense of trust in certain matters. I tend to have issues relenting control, which is a serious problem i've been working on. I have a number of unusual fears and beliefs. Some things in my life have been genuinely traumatizing where no one would expect trauma should be able to be formed. When was the last time you heard of someone who had emotional flashbacks because someone accused obama of being an evil alien? I have an unusual set of things which i can and cannot stand. I can't take a compliment because they always feel backhanded or ingenuine and gifts make me feel in debt to the giver, but feel free to beat the shit out of me i genuinely don't care. As my journey involves learning to respect these differences, it means not beating myself up when i find myself unable to match others. It means stepping outside of myself and hearing the negative voices and correcting them, and talking to myself like i would a close friend; no, i am not a failure because someone calling me pussy makes me want to cry when any other vile shit just makes me laugh. You've seen this specific word used in a way hat was specifically designed to hurt you for the ways you arent like others. Your pain is valid, and instead of beating yourself up over that which you can't control, why don't we learn to make this easier to deal with? You too are allowed to feel this pain. No, you do not need to degrade yourself for forgetting so ething youve known your whole life again. You know you have these memory issues, and you're still living a mostly capable life in spite of this, and thats something to take pride in; others in your situation may not be able to. We should honor them for their capabilities just the same as we should yours. Treating myself this way has provided me the ability to recontextualize my own thoughts, and while correcting the negativity is a forever work in progress, it does get easier with time.

Along with this, learning patience with myself is also a tough task. Being raised with harsh and unforgiving critics, i am a perfectionist, which means i struggle to forgive myself when i mess up and may give up entirely out of sadness and frustration. Getting over this involves a lot of learning to recognize that failure, too, is a part of learning, and that not everything thats not a success is a failure. These two terms are as subjective as good and evil in many cases, and while perfection is unattainable, the ability to recognize my attempts as flawed but workable isn't. Again, speaking to myself as i would another is key here. Its okay that you weren't able to get this leg right on the first try. Progress can't happen without movement and movement can't happen without time. Your imperfections do not mean failure, they just mean opportunity for another attempt, and with every error we can observe why we don't like it and what we can do to make it closer to our goals.

And one of the final things that has been difficult for me is learning to let go. I don't mean in grudges, i mean in the things that i hate about myself. This has been the hardest part so far, because it requires an intense breakdown of myself and all the things which make me, me, amd all the things that make me unhappy about that. Learning to let go of these things is like trying to let go of a jagged rock on a cliffs edge, because these things are, in fact, fundamental to my being, and to eliminate them would be to destroy a part of myself, but on the contrary, hating them is only hurting me, like acid in a vile, it will erode over time. Acknowledging the things i dislike and not necessarily learning to love them, but learning not to hate them, is the first step. An example of this; i hate my weight. I like to say i don't to try and help me overcome this, because really, i know im not getting rid of my belly, but it does make me unhappy. Breaking down why involves a lot of elf reflection. Why do i hate my weight? And a question like this can be heavily multi-faceted. I hate my weight because mom taught me that being fat is painful. I hate my weight because society expects cookie cutter people and we live in a world full of too many deserts for a cookie cutter to fit everyone. I hate my weight because it goes to show the difficulties i have with my mental health in a multitude of ways; depression manifesting in the lack of energy to fix it– Addiction manifesting in the alcohol that i haven't dropped the weight from– A bit of both and my trauma in the things i eat to take my mind off memories i cant stand to see for the 50th time today– The guilt that cones with caving to my bad habits when i know better. How does obe correct this? First, i need to learn to eliminate the hate. Correct the hate. And that involves breaking down expectations of myself and understanding that prejudice against me is also prejudice against people i love. Yes, being overweight can be painful to some, but not everyone. Many people live happy, healthy, fulfilling lives while being at least as, if not moreso, overweight than me, because weight is not a direct correspondence to health, and not everyone can or is willing to drop the extra pounds. My struggles are part of what makes me human,and while my coping mechanisms may not be healthy and my mental problems do have a rather severe impact on my quality of life, i am actively learning how to improve these things, and my habits can be kicked so i may continue to enjoy the things i do without them consuming my life. Societal expectations of me aren't much i can do about, but how i handle them is, and in finding others like me and people who like others like me, im learning to recognize that my differences can still be appreciated and loved even when the majority of people don't necessarily agree with people like me for being me. There is much more than just my weight which i hate about myself, but this is my example right now. In time, i wish to learn more than just not hating myself for my differences, but also tolerating and even loving myself for them. The first step is always the hardest though, ad so means letting go; of hatred.

I am cringe. I am different. I am in pain. But i am still me. I still deserve to be treated with respect. And in learning to respect, accept, and appreciate me for me, i am becoming a better person, and realizing a way to love more than ever before.