#thats on me for expecting a remotely reasonable response

[2009isitanyways]

i'm gonna need one of those fucking anticoagulant mushrooms bc i think a blood vessel is occluding in my brain.

[limerence-17]

take her home

masterlist

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

warnings: 18+ mdni blowjob, fingering, mutual masturbation, drinking (underage presumably), vulgar language, intoxication (reader is, rafe is sober no drunk driving here friends!!), angsty very angsty, reader is drunk and annoying but then again rafe is also annoying in this

synopsis: you're a family friend of the cameron's and sarah's childhood best friend. after one night taking it too hard at rafe's party, sarah's asks rafe to drive you home...

word count: 2.1k

A/N: all characters are 18+ here. also my photos for some reason are uploading weird so sorry for the collage thats not in HD rip. lowercase intended.

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

you weren't going to drink, that wasn't even your original plan but between sarah's strange mixed drinks (vodka crans were her usual) and your recent break up with your boyfriend you were a lot more drunk than you'd expected to be.

rafe threw parties every once in a while in the obx and seeing how he was two years older than you, it was fun for sarah and yourself to join them every once in a while.

"there's gonna be at least one hot guy there to get your mind off of lucas," sarah told you as you both were getting ready. lucas was your boyfriend, ex boyfriend now. ever since he cheated on you a week ago with some girl from the cut.

that night, you had a few drinks and ended up swimming in the cameron's pool. once you got out of the pool, you found yourself gravitating to some guy who rafe supposedly knew. he was tall, brown hair, kind eyes. you'd touch his chest every time he said something remotely funny.

you let out a loud belly laugh, playing with your half dried hair from the pool. you were only wearing a pink bikini top with your shorts. now that you thought about it you remembered leaving your bikini bottoms in the upstairs washroom. so technically you were going commando? it didn't matter anyway, you'd find them eventually.

sarah was standing across the pool, closer to the back porch. she could hear a few of rafe's friends speaking about you. but as she listened closely, they were nasty comments.

"yo who knew that friend of the cameron's had tits like that, i'd fucking grab them any day..."

sarah was about to run over and intervene when rafe suddenly stumbled out the back door, laughing with some buddies. he reached for whatever drugs he had in his pocket before sarah went up and smacked his hand. he whipped his head around, eyeing her viciously.

"you have a death wish or something tonight sarah?"

sarah grabbed rafe by his cheeks, smushing them in her hands as she turned his head so that he was now paying attention to you and the boy. she figured he would’ve understood just how serious this was, but clearly rafe was not having it that night.

rafe removed sarah's hand from his cheeks, rather annoyed now.

"so your annoying ass friend is flirting with nate? so what?" rafe said, reaching down into his pocket once again.

"our friend is gonna regret this by morning if we don't stop it at some point. these assholes you know are talking about her behind her back like she's some piece of ass. rafe can you please take her home?" sarah said, pleading with her eyes wide.

rafe glared down at sarah. he rubbed his hands against his eyes, groaning.

"are you fucking kidding me right now? i mean this is my party-"

sarah's eyes widened more and her eyebrows creased. she was making the same puppy eyes she would make when they were kids.

"she's our family friend rafe, and if anything happens to her you know dad will hold you responsible! not just for this shit party, but for her! plus don’t you remember-“

rafe cut her off.

"fine! fine... jesus i'll take her home, but you owe me for this one sarah i swear to god-"

"yeah yeah i know, beers on me for a month…” sarah said mockingly.

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

"i'll be back in a sec baby, just gonna go to the washroom," nate said as he walked away from you. you couldn’t help but smile as his hand grazed your back as he stepped away. you took another sip from your drink

seconds later, you felt a cold hard hand grip at your upper arm. you whipped your head to the right, only to see rafe standing beside you, looking more serious than usual.

"no fucking way rafe cameron is here..." you groan out, swinging your hands. rafe rolls his eyes.

"i'm taking you home." rafe commands you swing around once more, this time facing all the party goers.

"rafe cameron everybody!! you yelled, grabbing the attention of everybody outside. “let’s all give me a round of applause for throwing this wild wild party!” the sounds of whoops, and cups being raised into the air followed.

rafe grabbed your arm harder now, sighing from frustration.

"you're drunk. and i'm taking you home…now."

you stumbled backwards over your feet, as he dragged you back through the side backyard door. you were laughing, still a little out of it until you were near the car.

"woah, you're not seriously taking me home right? the night's only started,” you say, snorting a bit as you laughed.

"i'm not doing this for you, i'm doing this cause if i don't i'll get in shit. so just be obedient for once and get in the damn car," rafe said demandingly, opening the passenger door and guiding his hand across your back so that you could sit in the car.

"so pushy dad... you're so totally acting like my dad right now," you said, putting your feet up on the dash and clicking the buttons in the car as he sat in the driver's seat. you playfully keep touching things in the car.

"jesus… don't call me that," rafe said, rubbing his temple as he turned on the ignition.

"fine..." you wave your hands up in the air like you've been caught red handed. you cover your mouth because the second the thought crosses your mind you already want to laugh, but you haven't even said it.

"my bad...daddy..."

rafe freezes, his hands gripping the steering wheel. he’d only just started to back out of the driveway and he flips his head over to face you.

"what? don’t call me that shit-“ he says.

rafe grabs your leg, motioning it downward.

"and get your feet off my dash."

you start pushing at random buttons. of course rafe cameron drives a tesla.

"beep boop, boop..." you say jokingly as you open the window now putting your hand out.

"it's a spaceship in here," you say. you've only gotten about two blocks down. rafe is ignoring your comments, focusing on the road.

"this car is so much better than my exes anyway... i totally hated that guy i mean what was i thinking?"

this has seemed to have gotten rafe's attention as he glances over at you now.

"what do you mean?"

"i meannnnnnn he was a cheater and a liar and totally wasn't even that cute," you say, swinging your hands around.

"i mean wouldn't it make sense to want to sleep with someone who is attractive? lucas was really not even attractive, i mean his nose was like so small, like a little rabbit or something," you groan on. to your surprise, or maybe shock, rafe laughs at this. a genuine laugh.

you could almost sober up from that alone because it's something you haven't really heard since you were kids.

"i think it would make more sense to sleep with someone like you y'know," you say.

oh there you go. you've done it now. no taking that back anymore.

rafe glances over at you quickly, as if he's debating pulling over or something.

"me? what-what are you talking about?"

you shrink slowly into the seat, now embarrassed that you ever said that. you can almost feel yourself head and limbs sinking into the seat.

"are you-you saying you'd wanna sleep with me?"

you glance over, and for some reason your eyes glance over to his pants, and you can't help but notice the bulge that's forming. holy shit did i do that? you think to yourself.

"i mean… i'm not blind rafe, i'm just drunk."

rafe scoffs, switching his glance frequently between you and the road.

"you're serious though, you're not bullshitting me? you like- would actually sleep with me?" rafe says again, as if he can't believe it. he's speeding a little bit more now and you can't help but wonder if it's because you've distracted him.

"i... would yes," you say, nodding slowly, although you're too nervous and humiliated now to make eye contact with him. not too mention, you're still in your bikini top and now widely aware of that.

"jesus i mean... is this your way of asking cause i'm kinda sitting here getting turned on one way or another," rafe scoffs. he's so arrogant, you think to yourself. arrogant, but stupid hot. you glance over, looking back at his pants, he notices your eyes widen at the sight.

"besides, its kinda hot, knowing that sarah or our parents could never find out i mean... it's the secretive part of it that's so... well and your tits too i mean they look fucking magical tonight..." rafe says.

he turns to you, meeting your gaze, looks back at the road and then grabs your hand and gradually brings it to his crotch.

"i mean feel how hard i am, and that is all your doing princess," he says.

you grip at his cock, feeling it harden in his shorts. he's harder than you could have imagined.

"you can take it out if you'd like," he says, reaching for the zipper. the way he's unzipping his shorts while still keeping his eyes on the road is now starting to turn you on. there's heat pooling in your shorts and you're now viciously aware of the fact that you're not wearing any bikini bottoms. if you get any more wet it's game over.

you pull out his cock slowly from his boxers, and your shocked to see the pre cum already soaking out from his tip. he's hard, and you know it's your doing. rafe glances down for a moment, and then you feel his hand against the back of your head.

"you can suck it too," he says grunting.

"but-rafe you're driving what if someone sees-"

"who gives a shit let them see your pretty face sucking me off."

and with that you lick the tip, hearing him let out a slow moan. you just know he's trying not to lay his head backwards in pleasure just based on the noises he's making. you twist your right hand around his cock, moving it up and around and down. your tongue swirls around the tip until you start bobbing your mouth. after about three minutes he pulls you back up. you wipe your mouth and look over at him.

"what? what's wrong?"

"nothing- i was just gonna cum from that is all. plus i wanna feel you anyway-" he says. your eyes widen.

"me?"

"yeah," rafe replies. "unbutton those shorts why don't you so i can feel your pussy."

the way he says that, the rasp in his voice has you already unbuttoning your shorts. you're not sure how he's gonna do this, considering he's driving, until you come up to train tracks and the lights have gone off.

hm nice timing, you think to yourself.

as the train whooses by, you turn over to meet eye contact with rafe and he looks hungry. really... hungry. you both practically smash into each other, your lips colliding with each other. he's biting your bottom lip and sticking his tongue into your mouth and your letting out moans. if this was wrong, how could it feel this good.

"wanna... touch your pussy..." he moans out between kisses and so you pull away.

you pull down your shorts instinctively, forgetting you're not wearing anything underneath. great, i'm half naked in rafe cameron's car ,you think to yourself.

rafe's eyes go wide as he glances over at your body, your agonizingly wet pussy on the car seat.

"fuck me can't believe you've been hiding all that underneath those shorts," rafe grunts as he reaches over to feel you. his middle finger slides up your slit painfully slow. you grab your seatbelt as you lean back.

"holy shit you're so wet, all for me i fucking love that shit," rafe says. he uses his middle finger and ring finger to slowly start tracing circles around your clit, gradually upping the pace. you start grinding against his fingers. this train was taking forever.

"wait...wait...." rafe says pulling away causing you to groan.

"i know baby but... just touch yourself. i wanna see you make yourself cum." he says, now pulling out his dick once again.

you feel a little embarrassed but you're also so turned on so you oblige, slowly tracing circles around your clit. you can't help but watch as his jerks himself off, his eyes hungry staring down at you. it's like he's memorizing your every moment. you stick in one finger, than two, fingering yourself hard now. you rotate between that and rubbing circles against your clit until you feel your build up coming up. it only takes a few moments before you feel your release about to happen.

"fucking cum for me you dirty bitch come on-" rafe says between grunts.

you gasp as your orgasm hits you, and so does his seconds later, cum coming out of his cock. the train has now passed, and you both realize this in a panic.

you pull your shorts up quickly and look around for a tissue. rafe has started to drive away and you wipe at his stomach. he's exhaling deeply now.

"your parents home tonight?" he asks.

you lean back smiling teasingly as you bite your lip.

"no..."

"good cause i'm coming inside."

[rivalkieran]

Hiiii I'm the anon before about the speswap headcanon stuff I'm just very shy and needed the time to come back ngl also it's mostly Gold related sorry I play favorites—

Anyway um. If all personalities are swapped I have this thought of the Pkmn House being used for profit rather than just a fun house full of Pokémon? Gold's mother is *very* strict and formal and uptight and that's why Gold tries to be such a perfectionist and the pride of New Bark Town. It's to drawn in tourists and money so his mother can basically scam them over a daycare type setting. Gold is left with most of the tasks and responsibilities while his mother puts on a nice face and makes him do the same to keep up their reputation.

This is a major reason why Gold is so angry and kinda violent(? I'm just basing that on your bday art for Gold where he's holding up a bat to og Gold). Cause [cough cough much like gv Ethan] most of his childhood has been ripped from him in favor of putting on a show to keep others happy (and possibly to keep himself safe from the potential wrath of his mother) leading to built up rage over the course of possible years.

Kris can see right through the mask he puts on obviously and they've almost gotten him to crack a few times but nothing has worked so far.

Also Gold's mother absolutely adores Silver and compares the two a lot (mainly putting Gold in a negative light) and Silver sometimes helps out to gain her trust more

oh you got alot of details abt speswap golds home life correct actually!! got me questioning whether Ive posted about it on here before…

yeah his mom is like. super duper strict and has extremely high expectations for him and thats why hes all perfectly polite and formal all the time. admittedly I havent put much thought into what happens to the pkmn house in speswapverse but your thoughts are super interesting to think abt… hrmmmm

also yes all of his pent up rage is the direct result of his idealistic perfect child facade requiring him to Never express any remotely negative emotions At All. and I think he’s had to do this for mmmost of his life. he got shoved into the perfect child mold at a very very young age I fear.. I dont think he has a Specific disdain for his Situation though. his inner hatred is kind of directionless and just targets the general people around him (except his mom. something something mother knows best) and also probably himself but Dont worry about it

HOWEVER… speswap crys is actually the only person to be successful in cracking gold’s facade even if only a little. even after leaving the direct supervision of his mother to do dexholder stuff he continues to be Inoffensive and Polite and Perfect to everyone EXCEPT crys. well he keeps the facade up as best as he can but she has gotten numerous Actually Rude comments from him which is a wild departure from the attitude he usually displays

and also idk if there would be a scenario where the others would get to meet golds mother (and also crys would probably try jumping her if Im gonna be honest) but it is a funny thought…

[aceie-desire]

Simple request Ace teaching his GN partner how to do slight of hand card tricks? Feel like its a great chance to ether look cool or totally embarrass himself.

Ace Trappola x GN Reader: You’re On!

☁︎ Fluffyy

⚠︎ Warnings: None

! Word count: 1.1k

ꕤ Notes: this isn’t exactly my usual way of writng, but I hope you enjoy it nontheless!

Honestly, I’m not quite sure who thought this would be that great of an idea, but when your boyfriend starts begging asking you to learn some card tricks with him, who are you to say no?

Lucky for him, you couldn’t bring yourself to do so.

It was a quiet evening, after classes had let out, the day was extrmemyl busy, but isnt it always? Especially because of the people who you’ve dubbed as your friends. They amazing, but they can a bit much at times. So you really wanted to spend the rest of your day just hanging out in a quiet setting with Ace, your lovely loud boyfriend.

“Come on, y/n! I promise it'll be fun! You’ll like it!” He exclaimed, pleading.

Ace wasn’t exactly one to give up quickly, he’s more stubborn than a sleepy Leona, when he wants to be. It's impossible to make him change his mind at times. You knew you were going to utterly fail at this, as card tricks weren’t exactly your forte. But convincing Ace of this was hopeless. He wouldn’t listen to reason.

“Ace. I’m really not in the mood. I know that it’s not going to work out.” You signed, your arms crossed, you weren’t against card tricks but you wanted to spend the day curled up watching youscroll. The wonderlands version of youtube.

“We’ve barely done anything together together recently, come on.”

“What are you talking about? We watched a movie together yesterday.”

“It was a hippo documanturty, that you wanted to watch, and you fell asleep within the first 7 minutes.”

He was right but you weren’t going to back down either, “You could’ve turned it off, or changed it.”

“Believe me! I tried,” he shuddered remembering the previous night…

You were both cuddled up on a couch seated in Ramshackles lounge, you spend the veening tidying up a bit, as the dorm clearly needed it, and you decided that it was time for a break.

“Fianlly! TV time!” Ace cheered, hopping over the back of the couch to be seated against a ton of pillows, as he grabbed the remote.

“Mhmmm, its time for some hippos!”

“..Hippos? Thats not what I was going to put on.”

“Yeah, buts its my turn to choose.”

“You chose yesterday,” Ace rebutted.

You rolled your eyes, “No, I didnt. It was Deuce's turn.”

Now imagine a scene from the old wild west, music and everything. You narrowed your eyes as you looked at eachother. You and Ace have a ritual as to who gets final say, as this problem has come up really often.

“You ready, babe,” Ace teased.

“Always.”

…

“ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!”

“Damnit!”

You laughed victorious as you grabbed the remote, “You always choose paper.”

“I do not!” He exclaimed, pouting. Then a second later, “Yeah I do… You never fall for it!”

“Who knows, maybe one of these days I will,” You chuckled, laying down on the couch, resting your head on Ace’s shoulder.

“Hopefully soon,” He laughed.

Only 7 minutes had passed when ACe had begun to yawn, the narrators voice was so monotone, making Ace extremely tired.

“Hey, y/n, can we change it now?”He was expecting you to answer with a no, but instead he got no response. “y/n..? Hey y/n?”

He looked over at your face to find you dead asleep. He tried to grab the remote, but your hold on it was too strong. “Huh? How are they-” he mumbled to himself, confused.

To be fair, living in Ramshackle, over time you had to develop this skill living with Grim and the ghosts. Speaking of Grim, he had decided to spend the night over with Deuce. The 2 wanted to give you both some quality time, but it was only 6 and Ace was stuck. You were asleep atop of him, and he didn't have the heart to wake you, and the narrator was slowly killing him. It was going to be a long night.

…

“I don't remember any of that.”

“You were asleep.”

“Okay, okay fine! You can teach me some card tricks.”

“Yes! Thank you, babe.” Ace squealed, planting a kiss to your cheek as he ran off to grab a deck of cards.

“Love you,” You said, but you doubt he heard you as he took off.

…

“All you have to do is then turn your hand like so then twist!”

It had been an hour or so, and to say the least, you weren’t exactly making much progress.

“Like… this-?” You folded instead of twisted and the entire deck of cards flew from your hands, scattering across the room like confetti. They cards slowly rained down as both you and Ace stared at each other for a solid second, then burst into laughter.

“No, y/n, like this-” Then the same stunt happened again.

You raised an eyebrow towards him, debating whether or not to bring up his reddining face.

“... I was just trying to make you feel better.”

“Totally.” You smirked, as Ace then tackled you onto the couch peppering kisses all over your face.

Cards of both decks were still falling, as you both broke into fits of laughter, its been a busy day for sure, but the mess was worth it. You’d have to clean it quickly before Grim got back or else you would never hear the end of it. Ace grabbed you by your hand to pull you up as the realization of that fact you had to clean, brought you back to the real world.

“We got this! We can do it in no time,” Ace winked, you could only laugh as your boyfriend offered to turn it into a game. Then to a competition.

“You’re on!”

It had taken less time than you initially thought it would, and by then, Ace had to head back to his dorm. Riddle wasn't all that lenient on curfews.

“I’ll see you first thing tomorrow!” Ace smiled, playing with one of the decks in his hand.

“See you tomorrow,” You smiled.

The lanterns outside illuminated the right side of his face. The moon was bright as there weren't many clouds outside either, and the fireflies danced around, enjoying their night out. You don’t know what came out of you but you sprung onto him, grabbing his collar pulling him into a kiss.

“Goodnight, hun.”

“...g-goodnight.” he stuttered out with a laugh.

You giggled as you went back in, hearing Grim call out for you. Ace looked to his hands, the cards still in between his palms. He didn’t mean to but-

“I DID IT! THE TRICK! HA! I KNEW I COULD!” he announced as he skipped back to Heartsabyul.

i’m not 100% sure how I feel about this little drabble thing, so let me know if I should try it again with my “usual style”, i wouldn’t mind as I actually really liked this concept

[obae-me]

Hi! It said requests were open so here is one. So pretty much how the brothers would react to an MC who says "I love you" after they had helped them with something. Thats something I do regularly, like someone helps them and they respond with "Oh my gosh I love you, thank you so much!" Cause. Affection. Idk, i just found the idea to be cute.

This is such a cute idea! I hope I pulled it off okay, for some reason Belphie’s is a bit angsty because I like pain I guess, but most of it is fluff! Thank you for your suggestion! 💜

Lucifer

He openly admitted it caught him off guard at first. What he will never admit is how harshly the air escaped from his lungs. Or how quickly his mind went blank at the words. 

He had simply brought MC some tea, noticing how hard they had been studying. Working day and night to try to catch up and understand topics demons themselves had spent decades learning. He was proud of them for working so hard. He settled the tea down by them, watching them beam with appreciation. 

“Is that for me?” 

Their question elicited an amused hum from him. “Is there anyone else in here?” 

They wrapped their fingers around it excitedly, entirely grateful. “Ugh, thank you, I love you, I needed this.” 

He had been lucky he settled the teacup down before they spoke. Had it remained in his hands, he most assuredly would’ve dropped it, or spilt the contents at the very least. He was not prepared at all. They hadn’t been down here nearly long enough to fall in love with him, right? Was he that alluring? He must’ve done something wrong, he was sure he had been focused solely on being intimidating. He didn’t remember doing anything in particular to elicit such a response. He was flattered, but...maybe--surely-- he had heard incorrectly. 

“You…” He blinked a few times as he shoved his emotions into the back of his mind, the silent screaming in his head muffled by his usual calm exterior. “..love me?”

MC covered their mouth with their hands, recognizing his confusion no matter how hard he tried to hide it. “No, no!” 

Well now he was a bit irritated, and secretly disappointed even. Were they playing a joke on him? 

They stammered and turned more in their seat to look at him. “What I mean is, I just kinda use the term ‘I love you’ as a general term, not an…” They blushed, “..intimate one. I say it all the time to people, I’m really sorry for confusing you. I’ll try not to say it as casually.” 

It was a bit unusual to hear something like that thrown around so often, it reminded him of his days in the Celestial Realm, love thrown around at the drop of a hat. The Devildom was a lot less...affectionate. He shook his head, any sign of his surprise now completely gone from view. “Don’t change a harmless habit like that for me, I just wasn’t expecting it. I’ll know now for the future.” 

It takes him quite a while to get used to it, taking every ounce of concentration not to blush whenever MC says that they love him. Once he does get used to it, he’s fond of it and may or may not continually go out of his way to perform some simple gesture to encourage them to say it to him more often. It takes even longer after that for him to finally respond with “I love you too” making them stop dead in their tracks, heart fluttering, mouth ajar, much like he did that first day when he brought them a simple cup of tea. He relished the look on their face.

How such a human stirred up these feelings within him is beyond his understanding. 

Mammon 

He was an open mess when MC first expressed it to him. He’d done what? Just find a pretty rock on the ground? It was shiny and smooth, surely worth a fortune, but when he went to see how much it was worth, it was declared utterly worthless. So he gave it to MC--but only because it was useless okay?! It’s not like he likes MC or anything, that’s not what this is about. Obviously.

He handed it over, acting casual, like it was nothing. Their eyes lit up at it, watching it glint mesmerizing colors in the moonlight, reacting like it might as well have been a diamond. “Whaaat, it’s so cool, I love you, thank you!” 

“Don’t say I never do anything for-” It had taken a few seconds to process, but once he realized the words that had come out of their mouth, he went frozen. Rigid. His other brothers might’ve called it a miracle. His jaw was open, his glasses had somehow slipped to the end of his nose, threatening to fall off. He didn’t even blink.

“I’m sorry, I guess demons aren’t quite used to that huh? I use it as a friendly term, I used to say it to my friends all the time back home.” 

He was still as stone for a good long time, gradually building up the concern in MC’s chest the more he was reactionless. Had they broken him? Once he finally gathered his one erratic brain cell in order, it was like someone hit a sudden unpause. He quickly puffed out his chest with both his hands on his hips. The explanation they gave him went in through one ear and out the other, as he was still focused on the ‘I love you’. 

“Don’t freak me out like that, human, but of- of course if you were to love someone, it’d be me, eh? I don’t blame you, it would be hard to resist the Great Mammon.” 

He’ll get a big head about it, strutting around, bragging to anyone who would listen--not that he gave them a say on the matter--that MC expressed they loved him. Doesn’t matter if there were romantic intentions or not, MC loved him, and he wouldn’t let it go. He’ll ignore the fact that MC will say that to most anyone.

“Yeah, well, when they say that about me, it’s different!” Or he’ll put on an act. “Yeah? Not like I care about some dumb human!” 

The more he takes time to know MC, the more possessive he acts, and he gets a little bent out of shape anytime MC says ‘I love you’ so casually to anyone other than him. Mostly because he’s greedy for it, he wants those words to be his and his alone. He wants MC to be his...and his alone. 

“Oi, MC, you can’t just go saying that to anyone...It’s our thing...you know?” He’ll get endlessly teased about it by everyone in the household, but no matter how much he gets pestered about it, he still wants to hear MC say it.

Only if things get romantic between them, will he be vulnerable with MC. Whenever they’re alone, he’ll get in close, melting against MC’s touch. With MC he can feel these strange and addicting feelings. With his hidden insecurities coming to light, he’ll ask MC the same question every night. “You love me, right? Like...love love me?...I...love love you too.”

Levi 

MC had been convinced they gave the poor boy an actual heart attack. Although, to be perfectly fair, almost anything MC does puts Levi in a tizzy. It’s not their fault, he’s just sensitive. 

They had been playing games together, nothing too unusual. Together, MC and Levi, the Best Friend Duo, battled an intense match against other real players. It had been close, but with both of their talents combined (admittedly Levi doing a lot of impressive carrying) they managed to strike victorious. 

MC felt a rush, their head tingling a bit. They had been on the edge of their seat the whole time, positively exhilarated when they won. “Whoo! That was all thanks to you, Levi! I love you!” 

First, MC heard the controller clatter out of his hands. They turned to look at him, his face went completely red, his eyes flicking back and forth out of control, not focusing on anything in particular. He had a hand clutching over his chest. Then to add on top of that, he completely collapsed. 

“Levi!” MC’s shout was loud enough to bring some of his other brothers to check the commotion. After a short examination, they declared that Levi was fine, just dazed and lightheaded, although the color in his face refused to go away for quite some time. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, I meant it in a friendly way.” 

He’ll end up locking himself in his room for days on end after the event, trying to wrap his head around how ‘I love you’ and ‘friendly’ could ever be even remotely the same. That’s not how it’s supposed to go! It’s supposed to be like...like in fiction where both of the love interests are alone, finally having the chance to meet up under a pretty sky, possibly under strenuous circumstances beyond their control, inevitably forcing them to admit their feelings! 

He’ll get over it, he always does, but when he comes back he finds out MC now deliberately avoids saying ‘I love you’ to him. They meant it for his own safety, truly, but his Envy is now rubbing away at his normal shy personality. 

It'll get to the point where he can’t hold back anymore. “How come you tell everyone else you love them but me!” 

“Because last time...you collapsed, and then went MIA for almost a week! I didn’t want to hurt you anymore. Is this not what you wanted?”

He ends up using his arm to cover his burning face. “I...I...I...I…” After several more consecutive ‘I’s, Levi finally tells MC that he didn’t want to be treated differently, he wanted MC to tell him that they loved him too. “Because I...lo..lo...lov...I appreciate you, MC!” 

MC will chuckle a little, giving him one of his favorite headpats. “I love you too, Levi.” He doesn’t collapse this time, but feels his knees get a little weak. He refuses to remove his arm from his face because now there are fresh tears flooding from his eyes that he doesn’t want MC to see. He loves them too, so much his physical body can’t handle it. Even if he doesn’t have the courage yet to say it, he’ll tell them one day. 

Satan 

He’s quite angry with himself for how he reacted, which isn’t a huge surprise. He does wish he would’ve handled it better, but he had no idea those three words would be sprung on him so suddenly. 

He’s usually quite down to earth, but not even the many romance novels he’s read--and if you tell anyone that he reads gushy romance novels, he will kill you--had prepared him for this. Where was the buildup, the slow rising passion before the eventual confession? Despite occasional temper tantrums and pranking tendencies, he’s truly an old soul. He’s a ‘my dearest, shall we take a stroll, and perhaps, should our shoulders brush, would you permit me a show of boldness, of passion, I dream for the day our fingers intertwine’ kinda guy. So MC’s ‘I love you’ was many chapters early for him. 

He’d crossed paths with MC near the front door to the House of Lamentation. MC had just gotten back from RAD, being kept by Diavolo himself. Every one and a while, after classes, Diavolo personally checks up on them to discuss the program. Meanwhile, the demon of wrath was just on his way out, a full stack of books in his arms. 

��Hey, Satan, where’re you off to?” MC attempted to catch his gaze behind the many tomes stacked against his chest. 

“Ah, off to return these books back to the Library.” Some hair fell before his face, but with the absence of free hands, he utilized a puff of air from his mouth to blow the strands away. 

“I see, be safe then, love you!” 

The words caught him off guard, and with his focus distracted, his foot caught against an unfortunate crack in the pathway. He tumbled, the books in his arms scattering themselves all over the front yard. MC turned and attempted to help, but with Satan’s panicked scramble, he ended up smacking his head against MC’s. 

“My-uh-apologies-I-” He stuttered while he frantically tried picking up the books, only to have some continue to slip from his arms. 

“Here, use my bag,” MC opened the backpack that had been around their shoulders. It was already full of some textbooks and assignments, but it was enough to lessen some of the struggle. He gave them a small thank you as he slung the bag over his shoulder, the remaining stragglers tucked under his arm. He waited till MC went back into the house, and then he angrily tore the front gate off its hinges. He looked like such an idiot just now. 

He knows MC means not much of it other than general affection, once he thinks about it. Alongside Lucifer, anytime MC now says it, he’ll act unaffected by it. The truth is, the never ending rage burning beside him magically subsides anytime those words fall from their lips. 

If he works softly and intelligently enough, perhaps he’ll have forged a tight enough bond where MC can say it for real, and the fire in his soul can find some peace. 

Asmo

Honestly, despite his over dramatizations and flamboyant nature, he’s the least affected out of all the brothers. Trust him, he’s had plenty of demons try to crawl their way back to him after a night of fun, insisting that they’re in love with him. So, he’s heard it a lot, and it’s not his favorite. That being said, he discovered that MC is probably the only one he’ll tolerate the dreaded L word with. 

He’d sat there, working on MC’s nails, giving them one of his—as he calls it—Asmo-tastic manicures. MC appreciates the pampering, even if Asmo uses it mostly as an excuse to hold hands and get close to the human. 

When Asmo was complete, MC looked down at their newly soft hands with beautifully decorated nails, feeling a bit closer to the demons now that they had matching manicures. “It’s beautiful, Asmo, I love you, thanks!”

His chest did flutter a bit, and he let out a stream of giddy giggles as he pressed MC into him for a hug. “MC, you’re so cute, I can’t take it!” 

He had sworn to himself that he wouldn’t use the words ‘I love you’ ever, no matter what, but if MC was using it so casually, why can’t he, it didn’t mean much of anything right? He quickly turns a 180 on the idea, and says it as often to MC as he can. 

“Bye, MC, love you, dear! You’re wearing the outfit I gave you? I love you!” But his new form of affection is now not just centered towards the human, it’s now directed towards his brothers as well. No one is safe. “You’re giving me this, Lucifer? I love you! Beel, a snack for me? I love you!” 

He’s such a hype man, and the affection spreading throughout the House of Lamentation by his and MC’s hand is infectious. Even if they don’t mean to, simply Asmo’s added influence has the brothers saying ‘I love you’ to each other more often, which has led to plenty of entertaining moments. Mammon said it once to Lucifer on accident, which admittedly filled the eldest with a bit of pride, especially at seeing Mammon’s mortified face. Beel and Belphie have no problem saying it between themselves, although it leaves them softer than they had been in a while. But perhaps the most shocking of them all was when Lucifer sleepily mumbled it to Satan, who then parroted it back to him without thinking. Both were a bit flustered, but Satan was so angry about it he wanted to tear both Lucifer’s and his own tongue out. The two refuse to talk about it, but they were both a little softer to each other that week. 

But why are we talking about the others? This should be all about Asmo! You know how when someone continually says something out of irony after a while they end up speaking it unironically? That’s what was happening to Asmo, much to his confusion and unfortunately his fear. He had never...loved someone before, not in a romantic way, it was too much commitment, it was too much...emotion. But the more he continued telling MC he loved them...the more he started to believe it. The more he noticed the little things about them that he couldn’t get enough of. So one day, he stopped saying ‘I love you’ altogether.

MC met with him in private, concerned over his new out of character action. “Asmo? What’s wrong, I noticed you’ve been...distant, which isn’t like you.” 

Of course they would notice, they always did. “Oh...MC...I…” For once, he was actually shy, covering up his own beautiful face to hide, an incomprehensible action. He could barely speak, he was so...scared? “MC I think...I...I think I love you.”

Beel 

He was second place in the ‘staying calm’ category when MC said it. He’s a family man, loving those around him is in his nature. So hearing MC say those words, he merely took it as a family thing, and he was all too happy to bring MC into the family. 

He noticed MC had been looking just a bit run down, and so, he shared a single snack with them. They practically glowed, looking up at him with a heart-melting smile. “Thanks Beel, I love you, thank you!” 

Suddenly the food he was eating tasted ten times better, and he had been fully convinced for a while that it was some magic spell MC put on him. He almost ends up crying. Honestly, it’s been such a long time since he’s heard words like those. He didn’t realize how starved he was for affection. He pulls them into a tight hug that lasts for several minutes. He let them go eventually, but only because he needed hands to eat. He continued to scarf down the mouth-watering food, although the ache in his stomach wasn’t as pronounced as it had been. 

He ends up giving MC a little snack anytime they say ‘I love you’, because he finds them adorable, and his way of reciprocating affection is with food. He loves MC immensely, so it’s only natural he shares his favorite things with them. Only, he was unaware that he was more or less training MC and himself by doing this. In fact, it was unbeknownst to everyone save Satan, who is very aware of what Pavlov’s Theory is. Satan doesn’t say anything though, he wants to see how this plays out. 

The more MC says ‘I love you’ the more they get rewarded by Beel, and the demon has now conditioned himself by associating food with MC’s tenderness and endearment. MC steadily increases the time they spend with the demon of gluttony, almost stuck to his side as often as Belphie. MC finds they can’t help but smother him with love and affection, which Beel can’t get enough of since gluttony is his sin. And Beel discovered that he always has some sort of treat on hand that he refuses to touch because it’s MC’s. 

The day MC finally caught on was the day Satan finally intervened. He himself spent some private time with MC, and, much like Beel had for a while now, he gave MC an unsolicited treat. 

They hardly looked at him as they instinctively stated, “I love you!” Then ended up pausing for a long time. Satan teased them mercilessly before he explained, and MC felt their entire body grow hot with embarrassment. However, they took this opportunity to do something for Beel in return. They prepared a big meal for him, texting him to bring him down into the dining room, just for the two of them. His eyes grew wide at the sight of the banquet, but for once, his first instinct wasn’t to eat. He wrapped MC tightly in his arms, tears almost streaming down his face. MC’s presence seemed to satiate him almost as well as a twelve course meal. 

“I love you, MC! I love you so much!” 

Belphie

As shocking as it is, Belphie reacted the most severely. Which if you actually take the time to think about it, probably isn’t that surprising at the end of the day. It was the last thing he expected to hear, especially after everything that happened. 

All he had done was run into MC in the hall. Lucifer had called Light’s Out and anyone who didn’t want to be punished would be heading straight to bed. Since he sleeps all day, he was fairly awake at this hour, not to mention recently he had felt annoyingly restless. Finally free to roam the house like he wished left him wandering and wanting. There was still something he needed, but he wasn’t sure what. MC stepped past him to get to their room, already looking exhausted, a large yawn escaping their lungs. 

“Heading to bed?” They asked him, and he still found it difficult to bring his eyes up to theirs. 

“Maybe soon.” He acted nonchalant. 

MC rubbed their eyes, gently touching his shoulder as they passed. “Okay, love ya, get some good rest.” 

He was grateful MC had immediately walked into their room, because he wasn’t prepared for how extreme his body would react. He found the energy upholding his legs went missing, and he had to lean against the closest wall to keep from crumpling to the ground. He continued to try to trick himself into believing he didn’t care. They were a human, he didn’t care, why would he care? Why should he feel guilty for everything he’d done? He was a demon, a monster, he’d embraced that when he fell, or he thought he did. But...being around MC...it made him feel like he was back in the Celestial Realm, filled with hope, with love, something he was sure he’d never truly feel again. 

He recalled before the inevitable fall what his dear sister had told him before his life had been shattered before his eyes. “Remember Belphie, I love you.” 

He couldn’t hold himself up any longer, clutching his pillow to his chest as the hole in his heart he had filled with sleep and anger crumbled away. He pressed his face deep into the fluff of the cushion as he sobbed. His heart felt like it was stinging like wounds often do when they’re cleaned and healing. It hurt. It threatened to break him. He had tried avoiding feelings. How could MC be so nice to him after everything? What had he done to deserve it? 

Beel, influenced by the magical connected emotions to his twin, left everything he had been eating behind to come get him immediately. The intense pounding in his chest worried him to no end, he needed to find Belphie now. He found the demon of sloth curled up on the floor of the hallway, convulsing and shaking from violently crying. Beel hated seeing his beloved brother like this, but on the inside he was secretly thankful. He knew Belphie couldn’t keep acting like nothing mattered, it wasn’t healthy. He was finally coming to terms with everything, opening the door to finally, after all this time, being able to move on. 

The next time the human sees the youngest brother, they see that he’s a little more aware, maybe not quite awake, but mindful of the people around him. For once, he talks about what he’s going to do in the future, looking forward instead of repeating broken events of the past. He finds that being around MC, if they’ll let him, helps the feeling in his ribs hurt a bit less, that the personality he thought had been locked up was starting to escape. Life itself matters a bit more than it used to. He has to be ready though, because he can’t afford to cry in front of his brothers the next time MC tells him ‘I love you’. Even if they think nothing by it, it means more than the world to him. But as always, he’ll act apathetic about it. 

He’s working on it though, and all because MC showed him a bit of kindness despite his unforgivable actions. All he needed was a bit of love.

[caffeinated-cryptid]

bishop to castle; check.

3.8k words | AO3 link | tags/warnings: suicidal behaviour, risk of falling from a height, talking someone down from a ledge, hurt/comfort, platonic roceit, positive ending.

“After weeks of moping post-POF, Janus goes into the imagination to find Roman. They end up having a much more intense conversation than he could have ever planned for.”

-------------------

Janus hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Roman since their last argument. It was fine, probably, he justified to himself, despite how Patton had returned from their talk with pursed lips and worriedly furrowed eyebrows. He likely just needed time to process everything that had happened, and Janus wasn’t going to push that. 

(His reluctance to address the issue had nothing to do with the fact that he dreaded another confrontation. Totally not.)

After all, forcing his presence on Roman now could potentially only make things worse. So instead he would just have to wait for him to come around first-- to calm down enough to be willing to hear him out without resorting to name-calling.

Janus was plenty busy anyway, what with his new position in Thomas’ life. More than smoothing over one less-than-steller relationship with a side (which Janus was collecting like pokemon cards recently, it seemed), he elected to focus on ensuring Thomas held true to his promises of self-care, which meant working with Patton more often.

That wasn’t so terrible, at least it wasn’t as bad as the him from a year ago would have expected; the side was trying harder to welcome his contributions which he appreciated. Though inadvertantly through this new partnership, he found himself being dragged into more casual hang-outs, where they would do nothing but...chat. Sharing daily anecdotes and worries and secrets about themselves. It was strangely open and the sort of thing Janus had to adjust to, but with this new friendship he had found himself in, he did his best not to ruin it.

“I’m getting worried.” Patton admitted one day, setting down the tv remote after a finished screening of some Air Bud spinoff. How Janus had been wrangled into watching that ceaseless dog series was beyond him. “I think the others might be starting to come around to you, but Roman...”

Patton didn’t need to finish his sentence, because Janus already knew what he meant. With Virgil and Logan, he’d been making an effort to try to prove his worth as a member of the team (whether or not that was working was yet to be seen, despite Patton's generous assertions that it would all work out eventually), but he hadn’t even gotten the chance do to that with the creative side. As much as he had first assumed that time and space would do the trick, it seemed like that wasn’t the case after all.

 “I suppose a confrontation is inevitable.” He grimaced, knowing that this had been put off for long enough.

“Would you do that?” Patton asked suddenly, looking to him with relief. It made Janus realize that it sounded like he had signed up to go talk to Roman himself.

“Uh...” Janus tensed, his previous concerns surfacing again. “I don’t think I would be the best suited to have this conversation-”

“Oh- Pleeease? You two need to talk most of all! Besides, when I went, he wouldn’t even...” Patton trailed off, biting his lip with a pout. “...Could you try, at least? Maybe you could get through to him.”

“...Alright. I’ll go before lunch.” Janus agreed begrudgingly, rewarded by Patton’s grateful smile. Stupid puppy face. That would have to stop working eventually.

-------------------

That was how Janus found himself in the lawless lands of The Imagination.

It had filled him with dread, knocking on the red and gold door and recieving no response. Even more so when he risked intruding anyway and seeing the wrecked state of the room, and then noticing the entrance to The Imagination wide open.

Unsurprisingly, that was where he found the side in question. More surprising was when he did, finding him sitting on the edge of the tallest turret of his castle, like he had decided to overlook his kingdom in the most dangerous way possible. Janus wasn’t so naive to assume that was all it was though.

Roman probably saw him approach as he ran the rest of the way to the castle, and that pushed him to go faster, dashing through the lonely walls of the old building until he was climbing up those spiralling stairs all the way to the top. When he finally made it, he stood there doubled over and completely out of breath as he adjusted to the high altitude winds that bit at his cheeks. He used the seconds he took to catch his bearings to figure out what to do-- his eyes never once leaving Roman’s back, who luckily hadn’t moved at all during his frantic dash. Perhaps his insticts had been wrong and there was nothing dangerous going on here. Every part of him screamed to stay and stop whatever this was though-- so he did.

“Roman.” He ended up saying once his breath had evened out, and nothing more. There was too much going on in his head to break whatever balance they currently had; too much to ask, too much to say, to explain, to defend, to try to understand.

Said side turned his head slightly to make eye-contact; not facing him, yet it was acknowledgement at least. “Deceit.” He said after a beat. His voice was cold, but not angry, and for some reason Janus would have prefered it if Roman were upset with him. Anything but this odd indifference that made him feel guilty for not summoning up the courage to check in sooner.

“Janus.” Janus corrected in an invitation to use his name. He intended it as a sign of goodwill, but Roman’s face twitched and he looked away again, this time his focus on the ground directly below.

“I came to talk.” Janus said in an attempt at a distraction. He was disheartened when Roman made no move to acknowledge him again, so he continued despite his uneasiness. "Would you please come down?”

“What? Scared, Deceit? I'm not doing anything. I'm not going to either, so you can go back to whoever sent you and tell them I’m fine.” Roman scoffed and the string of lies felt bitter in the fridgid air, enveloping him like an unwanted hug. If possible, Janus’ heart begun racing even quicker.

He wanted to protest and say that he had come of his own volition, but Janus knew that lying right now wouldn’t do either of them any good. “In that case, would you do it for my peace of mind?” He tried instead, and it earned him a wry smile, sent from over Roman’s shoulder.

“What ever gave you the impression I care about that?” Roman shot back, standing up only to turn on his heel to step down into the crenel next to him, then back up onto the the next merlon. He continued, going up and down and slowly circling around Janus like a predator would it's prey, but somehow he didn't feel like the one being hunted here. Actually, it was more like he was trying to convince a mouse that the cheese on a trap wasn't worth it. And being a snake himself, that simile was especially ironic.

“...That’s fair. We can talk like this, then. I wanted to apologize and hopefully make amends.”

Roman’s footing twisted haphazardly and Janus all but shot forward to steady him until he was given a deadly glare that froze him in his tracks.

“Stay back! You're not fooling me again. As far as I know, you'll just try to convince me to take a swan dive right of the side of this tower. No greater depth to plummet to than that, huh?"

“I- that's the complete opposite of what I want.” Janus stressfully replied, fighting against the urge to pull Roman off of the edge and end this whole thing himself, instead holding up his hands as a sign that he wouldn’t come closer. God, where had he gone so wrong go end up in this situation? He should have convinced Patton to come with him when he had the chance-- at least he probably would have had a better idea on how to get through to Roman when he was like this. Comparitively, Janus had no clue. He didn’t have the trustworthiness or the years of friendship.

“I believe you. You've already made it so clear just how much you care.” Roman replied sarcastically. Janus felt his hackles rising.

“I’m not lying! I didn't want any of this.” Janus gestured around. “There's so much I wish I could take back, but especially whatever I did to cause this.”

“Oh, Janus.” He felt a small dose of hope when Roman finally used his name, which was quickly dashed as he huffed out a laugh. “Always thinking you have a finger in every pie. Isn't it enough for me to come to this conclusion by myself?”

He continued bitterly, practically stomping his way around the edge of the tower now. “It's not like it was hard. Even an idiotic egomaniac prince like myself can tell when he's not wanted anymore. When the dream has died.”

Janus, despite the silver tongue he may possess, struggled for words in the face of Roman’s insecurity. He had wanted the anger because he had assumed it would be easier to prove that he wasn’t as evil as Roman was so keen to accuse him of being. He just hadn’t expected this issue to be so deeply sensitive. (Though perhaps he should have picked up on that hint when he saw the other side looking ready to jump to a temporary death). “Thats not true at all, you’re incredibly important and all of us need you. Perhaps we’re operating under new rules now, but that doesn’t mean you’re not wanted.”

But it seemed that wasn’t the best thing to say. Roman stopped in his tracks, his expression unreadable as he began shaking with fury or perhaps something else. “...If I’m ‘so important’, why does it never feel that way? Why am I the only one who has to change constantly for rules that can never stay the same? Why do I have to make sacrifices and tone down my voice?”

His controlled tone got louder and more stressed. “Why are my best efforts never good enough? Why are my doubts ignored? Why is it considered fair to disparage my work? To ignore the blood, sweat, and tears I put into everything?”

Janus stared in horror as Roman kept going, yelling over anything he could have possibly wanted to say.

“Why does it take this to be be fucking noticed?!”

Both of them paused when his rant reached a screaming crescendo and fat angry tears rolled down Roman's cheeks.

"...Forgive me if I'm having a little difficulty trusting what you say right now.” He sniffed, ducking his head away to wipe his eyes. The words were distant despite the soft way they were uttered.

Once again Janus was lost for what to say as he watched Roman compose himself. There was simply too much there to unpack, too many years of built-up stress and resentment. What in the absolute hell had these sides been doing all this time? “...I do wish to take some responsibility for that, though. Your hesitancy to trust again.” That seemed like a good place to start, if any.

Roman only snorted humourlessly at his efforts though, voice tired and unenthused. “I'm sure you would. It's a lot easier to sweep aside a broken vase rather than acknowledge its cracks when they’re forming, after all. That was the lesson you taught us, right?”

Janus winced at the callback to his first appearence to Thomas. He didn’t necessarily regret that day, but having it thrown back now made it feel like something to be ashamed of; seeing his lessons interpreted in such a way. “...Is that how you see yourself? Broken?” He asked instead, squashing down his indignation.

He only got silence in return. Janus swallowed, definitely regretting his hesitance to resolve this issue now.

“Roman, even though I doubt you’d trust my words, I promise that we're not trying to simply ‘sweep this aside’. If we're going with the vase metaphor, all of us want a chance to try to glue the pieces back together. Make right on all of the ways you’ve been wronged.” When that got no response, he tentatively asked, “Have you ever heard of Kintsugi?"

“...Broken pottery fixed with gold, I'm aware. But trying to apply that right now is sloppy, even for you. People are never so beautiful after being so thoroughly broken, nor is it that easy." Slowly, Roman sat down on the edge, and even though his legs were dangling over the wrong side, Janus' heart finally felt some semblance of rest. He took a step forward.

"I disagree. Kinstugi is rarely an straight-forward process either, and yet it achieves such splendid results with just a little patience and care. Which is to say... while it may not be the easiest thing to do, there’s undeniably beauty and strenght in survival. Trying again even when it feels impossible.”

“Of course you'd think that, Mr. Kill or be killed. You have no choice in whether you get to continue forward. But I do.”

Janus paused at that, only four paces away from Roman now. The creative side startled when he peered backwards and saw him so close, and then he glared at Janus as he stood up again, this time facing him fully. His foot slid backwards until the worn-down structure crumbled under his heel, sending rocks tumbling down below. It was a warning, Janus realized as his blood frooze in his veins.

“Don’t look so shocked. I control everything here, or did you forget?” Roman smiled. It wasn’t a happy smile or even a smug one; it only looked like he was stretching his mouth unnaturally, all pretenses of putting on a convincing performance stripped away. “If I want, I could have a Pegasus fly by and save me at the right moment. Or I could expand the moat to catch me. Or..."

Roman looked frustrated for a second when he couldn't think of anything else, even more so when Janus patiently waited for him to think of another example. In the end, he gave up.

"The point is, I call the shots about what happens to me."

"But would you? Save yourself?" Janus questioned hesitantly. He knew he was treading on thin ice, so he left it there. Roman raised an eyebrow at him and he returned it, making it clear that he wanted an answer. He recieved it with a scoff.

“Of course I would. What kind of question is that?”

Lie.

Janus winced. “Roman... You are aware of my ability to detect lies, yes?”

The creative side blinked in surprise and then looked at him with wide eyes, as if he hadn’t expected to be called out. Like it had been so natural to brush aside the question that he didn’t even realize his own feelings. Fortunately, Janus’ ability was too keen to be fooled by one’s own self-deception. He could see below the surface like that; pull people’s hidden truths from them and keep them for himself, like a keeper of forbidden knowledge (Though in moments like these, sometimes he wished he couldn’t. Ignorance truly is bliss).

“Should I ask again?” He pressed. “Are you really planning on saving yourself?”

This time Roman’s face screwed up in confliction and he directed his gaze to the floor of the tower. It was an awfully clinical way to ask, but it felt necessary to stop dancing around what was important-- this casual show of self-destruction.

Eventually, the other cracked with a tired huff of laughter. Sadly genuine this time.

“...It's certainly nice to think that I could.” Roman admitted as he rubbed his face, apparently not mad at being called out this time. “Finally being a hero again, even if it's only to myself.”

Janus paused in shock. Was he still misinterpreting that moment?

“That wasn't a lie.” Janus blurted out, taking even himself by surprise by the thoughtless exclamation. “Thomas still thinks of you as his hero. There’s no need to do things like this to prove it.”

Romans eyes went watery and he avoided his gaze.

“At this point I don't think it matters, when I haven’t been acting like it at all lately.” He whispered coarsely, uncharacteristically quiet compared to the wind. “Frankly, I'm surprised you're even trying to stop me."

Janus eyes softened and he took another tentative step forward, then another when Roman didn't react badly. “Why wouldn’t I? I’m not just Deceit, you know. Part of my job is to help you.”

“...Because you hate me? At this point you have more reasons to than not.” Roman explained warily, looking at him like Janus were seconds away from snapping and shoving him over the edge. It hurt to have that sort of mistrust placed on him, but at the same time Janus understood it. He had often been in that sort of situation before; doubting the safety of opening up to other people. That was just part of his job, to be doubtful and wary in order to protect the self. Yet to see it so openly on somebody else felt like a punch to the gut, even though he should have been used to that feeling of being distrusted by now.

“Do you think me so sensitive that a schoolyard insult would make you my archenemy? Or being called evil? That is...sort of what I’ve been going for.” He cracked a joke, gesturing to his outfit. When Roman kept staring at him he sighed. “Of course I don’t hate you, Roman.”

Roman shifted doubtfully. “That doesn’t mean you like me, either. Maybe it doesn’t mean much to you, but you should know how- how being called that hurt me.”

"...Yes.” It was Janus’ turn to be uncomfortable. “Perhaps at first I felt attacked and wanted to make you feel the same hurt, but I would never have said that had I known just how deeply it would have impacted you. I’m sorry for that.”

Roman’s expression turned incredulous, like he couldn’t believe Janus had apologized. “...You know, I wanted to make you upset. I wanted you gone.”

“I figured.” Janus nodded.

“And that doesn’t change anything? Even though I acted so...” Roman bit his lip. “So unheroic?”

Janus stifled a sigh. By now, he really hated that word with a passion. It had caused so many high standards, so many instances of self-sacrifice, so many misguided attempts at selflessness and perfection. Perhaps later they could talk about it all and lay out why it had done so much harm, but for now he decided not to push it, not when he felt so close to getting a breakthrough.

“Believe it or not, but I think that you've been plenty heroic already. This whole time you've been fighting for something you thought was valient and noble, and that means something, even if it was for a misguided cause.”

That took Roman off-guard. He moved his foot away from the edge subtley, and had Janus not been focused on his face, he would have considered it a small victory.

“...What’s the point of all of this, really? Is this some... some dastardly plot?” Roman questioned skeptically. He was looking even more cornered now that he was letting Janus’ words sink in.

“All I'm here for is to offer the helping hand you need, if you’ll accept it.” Janus said softly as he extended his hand up to him. “Really, my only plot right now is to get you off that ledge before you give me a heart attack. Please?”

Roman stared at him, desperately trying to find some sort of mistruth in his eyes before his gaze lowered to the outsretched hand. It felt like time slowed in the seconds he was making his decision and Janus held his breath, waiting...wating... until finally the other side nodded and took his hand.

With Janus’ help, Roman stepped down, looking confused and lost now that he was away from the edge. The expression pained Janus’ heart, so he opened his arms half expecting rejection, only to be taken back by how quickly Roman latched onto him. Janus wasted no time clinging back, so relieved that he actually suceeded that he didn't want to risk ever letting go, like this moment could be torn away at any second. It was no surprise when he felt the other’s chest jerk with held-back sobs until there was a wetness on his shoulder, and he didn't say anything about it. He didn't need to either, because Roman spoke up first.

“It didn’t mean anything. Really!” He exclaimed through messy tears. “I was only thinking about it!”

Lie.

“...It's okay if it was more than that.” Janus soothed, patting his back. “It's okay to feel low and in need of help.”

That made him cry harder and Janus was relieved to see the excess of emotions finally pour out. While waiting for Roman to calm down, he had to fight for his own tears to not spill over. Inevitably, the stress of the situation finally caught up when the adrenaline wore off, and he sagged into the hug, sniffling quietly and trying not to fall over on his aching legs. He really just sprinted up multiple flights of stairs, didn’t he? Belatedly, he realized that he must have lost his hat at some point during the journey because he could feel the wind tousle his hair.

It would have been funny if it weren’t for the absolute rush of emotions he had just gone through.

The two of them stood there for what would normally be considered an awkward amount of time, except the act of simply hugging on solid ground was the biggest comfort in the world, too much to ruin the moment. They waited until they got through the worst of their tears before they dared speak again. Once again, Roman went first.

“Sorry for laughing at you back then.” He said, voice reflecting the yelling and crying he'd been doing. It felt genuine. “I actually really like your name...the mythology suits you. Very dramatic.” 

Janus laughed wetly, finally a true statement. “Why, thank you. And I apologize for where I’ve wronged you.”

Finally, they straightened up. Roman took one look at him and summoned hankerchiefs for them both. Janus accepted it and wiped away his tears as gracefully as he could.

“Hopefully we can have a more in-depth discussion on this later, but for now Patton and I prepared lunch, if you’d be willing to have us.” Janus asked, hopes raised.

“...That sounds good.” Roman smiled.

Janus smiled back.

Together, the two of them descended down the steps of the tower, and the imagination was the slightest bit sunnier when they reached the outside.

[itsclydebitches]

V7 e2 ironwood: "the people will hate you" "thats a price im willing to pay" V8 e14 ironwood: "Why doesnt anyone appreciate meeeee" (RT: We can’t have him accept hatred for his actions guys, we have to make sure every aspect of his character is irredeemable so anyone who even remotely defends his characters will be shat on!)

You know, as much as I despise that line - especially coming off of a bomb threat - I can't blame Ironwood for it if we read "anyone" as his former allies. Ironwood, despite what Volume 8 would like us to believe, is not some automaton. His desire to instill pride and reap support from his allies read loud and clear throughout Volume 7 (as well as since his introduction), everything from his excitement over potentially seeing Ozpin again to him outright acknowledging that he couldn't do any of this without Winter's help. Back in Volume 7, Ironwood was willing to shoulder the hatred of the people because they were entirely ignorant to the context of his choices. He understood that their hatred stemmed from not understanding why he did these things - to create long-term protection from Salem - and the crucial difference between the nameless people of Mantle and the rest of our cast, his allies, is that the latter DO understand his motivations. They, unlike the people, are fully informed. What happened when Ruby and co. learned why Ironwood was taking resources? They supported him. Doesn't matter if they complained about everything not coming up roses, they actively assisted Ironwood in continuing this plan. What happened when Robyn learned why he was taking resources? She joined him, seeming to agree about the Amity idea and standing with Ironwood before all of Mantle. What happened when things got even more dicey and Winter learned that they were being recalled before evacuations were complete? She supported him because she understood why he was making this incredibly tough call. Time and again Ironwood was surrounded by people who had that context, knew that there were only hard choices available, and stood by him, even when they hated that there was no better solution. Even when some did step away (the group) at least others remained. There was, in the background, constant appreciation for his hard choices from at least some of his allies all the way through to Winter's betrayal, simply by virtue of those allies agreeing to continue helping him. Every time Ironwood looked up, there it was, someone who actually understood the situation overtly or silently saying, "This is indeed what we have to do, no matter how hard it is. I support you in this decision." And with that approval comes a certain amount of relief. Someone else gets it.

But, because of Volume 8's insistence on making Ironwood 110% irredeemable, that support was slowly stripped away. First Blake and Yang betray him. Then Ruby sides against him. Penny leaves. They tell the whole world he can't be trusted. Then Marrow goes. Then Winter. Then finally the rest of the Ace Ops. This revolving door of allies leaving might have been poignant if their departure was actually timed with Ironwood's horrific acts - Ruby leaves because he shot Oscar, not because he's trying to save people by leaving; Winter leaves because he murdered the councilman, not sticking around for two days after that because killing is fine, I guess, etc. - but instead it just reads like no one ever cared. We disagree with Ironwood? No sense trying to talk that out. Nobody cares enough to put forth the effort (Oscar being an incredibly rare exception). So yeah, by the time everyone has left, and they've left for reasons that feel ridiculous and petty, and then they're actively twisting these events to absolve themselves of any responsibility... I can see why Ironwood in that moment would go, 'Omfg I can't believe that none of you appreciate this.' Because you understood what was happening. You are a part of the morally gray war that demands only awful choices of us. You lied, and hid, and betrayed, and did all these questionable things right along with me. Out of everyone in Remnant, you were the only ones who could appreciate why I made the hard calls when I did. You alone were in a position to understand and, for a while, you did.

Obviously I'm not talking about stuff like the bomb threat... but then, neither was Winter. Her grievance was "squeezing Mantle" so, yeeeeah, she and the other heroes should appreciate what he did there. They don't have to like the overall shittiness of the situation (who would?) but because they went along with it, because they understood his motivations, because it was all in service of helping the world, and because they knew Ironwood has been shouldering the consequences of that sacrifice since the Fall of Beacon... they are indeed the ones who should have at least the teensiest bit of appreciation for his attempts, even if those attempts didn't turn out well. In the same way that, I expect, Ruby would want appreciation for saving the Kingdom of Atlas... even though she destroyed it. Yang and Blake would want appreciation for gaining an ally in Robyn... even though they betrayed all of them to do it. Jaune would want appreciation for keeping the Maiden powers safe... even though he killed Penny. This cast is made up of characters doing horrific, incredibly questionable things in the name of serving a greater good and all of them approach those choices with the belief that those in the know - their allies, friends, and family - will understand why they had to make those choices and will appreciate the various sacrifices they went through in order to do what they thought was right. Ironwood is no different in that regard.

[seraphanangelica]

Can I please have scenarios or headcanons on how bnha characters (any that you like) would handle dealing with a ghost with their s/o who totally believes in the supernatural? Thank you in advance

I absolutely love this idea! As a firm believer of the supernatural myself, there was absolutely no way I could delay this response. So here you go!

How They And Their S/O Would Deal With Ghosts

💥This guy has only seen or heard about ghosts and spirits from horror movies. That’s all he cares about them. If they’re not in a movie, they have no existence. Of course, every time he says something along those lines, you roll your eyes and laugh to yourself at his blatant lack of attention to the supernatural.

💥You’ve tried, many times to prove just how real they were. And every single time it would go like this:

💥”I’m telling you, Katsuki, I’ve had experiences with them. You just don’t think they’re real becuase you haven’t.”

💥”Your experiences are just things you don’t want to give logical explanations to, dumbass.”

💥His point is proved further when nothing happens. And nothing happened for days after the last time you two had the repetitive conversation.

💥One day, as Katsuki woke up before you, he got out of bed and proceeded to go about his completely non-paranormal life. After giving you a light kiss on your forehead, he went downstairs to start preparing breakfast.

💥He stopped mid-stair though, as he heard another pair of feet pattering down the stairs behind him at a much quicker and softer pace. At first he thought it was you that had gotten up earlier than usual to spend more time with him in the mornings. He turned around to greet you with a smirk, his face falling slightly when he saw no one around.

💥Paying it no mind, he finished descending the stairs, and continued into the kitchen.

💥In the middle of sautéing vegetables, Katsuki reached out to grab the bottle of olive oil that sat on the counter to his left. He froze mid reach as he saw the barstool behind him rotate as if someone were sitting there out of the corner of his eye.

💥”Oh hell, no.” He still refused to take into account anything you’ve said about the matter.

💥Twenty minutes later, you were downstairs and eating breakfast, in the barstool next to the one that moved. You watched in curiosity as Katsuki leaned against the counter in front of you, crimson eyes darting from the empty seat then to you, then back again.

💥You were concerned, to say the least. “Katsuki, are you alright? You’re acting weird. Come sit down.”

💥He only shook his head and took a deep breath, looking you in the eyes. “Tell me about everything you know about ghosts. Now.”

💥And so you did. You told him everything you’ve been trying to tell him since you’ve known each other. The only difference was that this time, he was actually listening as if it were real and not a story.

💥When you finished he shook his head. “Look, I still don’t believe in this ‘ghost’ stuff, but-“ crash!

💥You’re heads snapped over to the source of the sound, your eyes settling on the plate that used to be next to Katsuki. It was now shattered on the floor, the pieces spreading out farther than the counter span. You knew Katsuki was freaking out but concealing it on the outside.

💥You couldn’t help but smile at your husband as his eyes still focused on the broken dish. “Don’t belive me now? We both know that dish was no where near the edge.”

💀Dabi would be disbelieving, but open to conversation. People talk about anime, right? It’s not real but makes for great small talk. He’d also be stupid. Very, very stupid.

💀The day he walked into the League of Villain’s hideout with an Ouija board under his arm, you thought he’d finally lost his mind.

💀”Are you crazy? Do you know the kind of stuff that happens when you use one of those things? You don’t know what you’re letting in!” You tried to reason with him, even coming up with ways to dispose of it without his knowledge. Unfortunately for you, he knew what you were up to and hid it.

💀”Oh come on. It’s just a little fun,” he teased you one night when he bagan setting it up in the center of your shared room. “What’s the worst that happen?”

💀”Asking ‘is anybody there’ is the stupidest thing you can do becuase thats inviting anything to come into the space. Secondly, you don’t know how to protect yourself against that kind of thing. The worst that can happen is possession, Dabi.” You scolded, leaning against the wall farthest from the board.

💀”Relax, Doll. I have someone in mind, actually. He didn’t really matter much, but I picked this from his wallet,” he reached into his pocket and tossed an ID card in your general direction. “See? Perfectly fine.”

💀It was not perfectly fine. You reluctantly joined him in the game, placing your fingers on the planchette, cringing with every subtle movement the burnt boy made. Because you didn’t want to do this in the first place, you let Dabi carry out the ‘ritual’.

💀As you would’ve guessed, the moment Dabi’s target was acquired, the planchette began moving, much to your dismay. Slowly, the letters formed a sentence. ‘You killed me.’

💀You shot a glare at your boyfriend. “What the hell did you do? Did you seriously just kill a man to contact him?”

💀He shrugged. “I caught the guy stealing from the convenience store, he had to go.”

💀”YOU STEAL FROM CONVENIENCE STORES!”

💀After you both said ‘goodbye’, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were being watched. It practically consumed you as the next hours passed, your eyes always finding themselves back to the abandoned board that still laid on the floor.

💀”WHAT THE FUCK!?” Dabi shouted from the bathroom, his voice one of surprise and confusion. You darted into the small room, expecting a prank left by Twice or blood left by Toga (it happens), and to be pretty honest, you were expecting this too. From the mirror, you could see eight distinct and parallel scratches on his back, too fresh and too deep not to be ignored.

💀Without a word, you bounded over to the closet and wrenched the doors apart with a set purpose. Pushing clothes out of the way, you pulled out an old chest you stored wherever you stayed. Opening the wooden box, you pulled out a match and a bundle of juniper and sage. Lighting the end of the dried herbs, and opening the nearest window, you let the smoke drift to all corners of the room.

💀Dabi watched in confusion and amusement as you walked towards him and started waving the herbs around him, cleansing him as well as the room.

💀”Y/N.”

💀“What, Dabi?”

💀”We should do it in a graveyard next time. This Halloween.”

💀”Fucking Samhain? Are you out of your goddamn mind?!”

💀He believes in ghosts now, so you had that going for ya.

🥦Midoriya would be skeptical about it. As someone who never rules out any possibilities, he has a wide range of knowledge towards that kind of thing. You never knew if someone had a quirk that could control the spirits of the dead.

🥦When you told Izuku that you see dead people, he honestly thought you were quoting The Sixth Sense. You were, in a way. In the same way you were being serious.

🥦You sat on the couch in the living room, remote in hand as you got ready to start a Marvel movie marathon when your fiancé got back from the store downtown. He got called in when someone was murdered just outside, appearing to have been trying to steal some food and magnets. Why someone would try to steal magnets from the convenience store was beyond you.

🥦Sighing, you settled into the cushions, and turned on the TV. Soon you began playing Netflix as you waited. You felt the couch dip next to you. No one was home but you, and you hadn’t heard Izuku get back yet. This was the time she came out.

🥦You faced the girl that sat next to you with a smile. “Looking for Izuku?” She nodded. “He’s not home right now, but you’re welcome to stay with me until he gets back if you like.” She thought for a minute, running a hand through her long hair, then nodded again.

🥦You scrolled through various shows until she pointed at one that sparked her interest. You began playing ‘Supernatural’, watching her reaction to each of the Winchester Brother’s ghostly adventures. “What, it’s not accurate? There’s got to be something that’s right.” You teased.

🥦The girl laughed, the sound never reaching your ears, and shook her head, continuing the show anyway.

🥦A couple episodes later, you heard the sound of keys turning in the lock, signaling your fiancé’s return. You turned to warn the girl, but she was already gone. She liked Izuku, but she was shy; something you learned upon meeting her. “He wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, you know.” You told her in a low voice as Izuku stepped into the house.

🥦He gave you a smile. “Hey, sorry for being gone so long,” he held up a plastic bag full of sweets. “They gave this to me as a thank you for helping them, so now we have even more marathon snacks.” Setting the bag on the counter, he wrapped his arms around you, giving you a firm, loving kiss to your forehead.

🥦”It’s fine, Izu. You weren’t gone that long. I had plenty of company.” You returned the hug, your last statement directed to the girl who was now peeking in from the doorway.

🥦The movie marathon was a blast. You nerded out, quoting almost every line from every movie you watched that night. The girl warmed up to Izuku, you noticed, as she sat on the floor in front of him almost as if she were nervous to sit next to him.

🥦”You can sit next to him, kid. He won’t mind.” You told her. Both pairs of eyes snapped up at your speech.

🥦Izuku looked around to see if there were any unknown guests, turning back to you when he saw none. “Uh, Y/N?”

🥦You ignored him and continued. “He’ll be nervous at first, but he’ll warm up to you. Go ahead. You were in this house long before we came here.”

🥦Izuku screeched like a banshee when he felt the couch sink next to him. Like he was a cartoon, he jumped into your arms, clutching you like he was afraid to lose you. The poor panicked boy didn’t know what to do.

🥦So, you began explaining all that you knew about your abilities, or extra quirk as he said. The girl never left, quite amused by the interaction. Izuku never really calmed down. Sure he’s prepared for it in his journals, but he never thought there would be a day.

🥦”I told you ‘I see dead people’.”

🥦”Y-yeah, I guess you did."

[is-that-another-soulmate-au]

@mypureessence

Korrasami/wuko/oc insert soulmate au part idk at this point

"No, no, Tahn, here" Lee shifted his stance so it was closer inward "take a breath and imagine your fire not as a flame but as boiling water coursing through your veins" she then reached her hand to his face "now close your eyes and imagine it"

Tahn nodded and did as she told him, taking a deep breath before shifting his stance and punching out a blue flame just as he opened his eyes, his face turned from doubt to unfiltered glee as he punched out two more blue flames. Turning to Lee who was smiling ear to ear "I did it"

"Im so proud of you" she said only to be caught in a tight hug. Which was broken apart once Tahn realized his mistake and clearwd his throat.

"Sorry, captain"

"It is not a problem, you deserved a little hug for that. Now, everyone else, do just as Tahn did just then" she had been demonstrating fire basics for a good week and a half now and Tahn was the first to accomplish lighting a blue flame, but by the end of that week every single firebender in that room was capable of bending blue fire and blocking small explosions.

Lin was incredibly proud of her and went to say as much by asking her to join her for dinner that evening. But Lee's smile and excitement to say yes faded into a look of fear with an attempted mask of irritation "Im flattered, and I understand we're soulmates but we should really focus on work right now. I'm sorry."

Lin stuttered for a couple seconds, honestly shocked at the response "I figured you'd be excited to go out to eat as a celebration, it doesn't have to be a date"

Lee sighed "but you'd look at it as one"

"No, no I wouldn't, its just... two colleagues who happen to be soulmates going out to eat as a celebration for reaching a goal" Lin offered a hand "what do you say?"

Lee looked at her hand and then at Lin and let out a sigh "Lin, I appreciate the offer, but I have to decline. I'm sorry, maybe another time"

They managed to tiptoe around eachother until the day that Amon announced his demand for the probending tournament to be canceled. That day Lee marched into the council hall with Lin who interrupted the gavel drop Tarrlok was about to do.

"And what exactly does little mousey have to do with this?" Tarrlok mused

Lee smirked "firstly three tails, its Foxy, and this is what I have to do with it," she nodded to Lin and then Korra who both nodded back.

She tossed up a remote controlled bomb and Lin pulled out the remote for it, catching the council members off guard just as Lee jumped up onto Korra's palm, then Lin's shoulder and finally off Korra's head to light a blue flame as the small explosions started. She quickly engulfed the explosion with her own blue flame and slammed it onto the ground as she came back to the floor with a bang.

Lifting up the hand that deflected the explosion she crumbled a small box into ashes and stood, dusting off her jacket "With Lin's metal benders and my bomb squad, the arena will be perfectly safe."

That is certainly what they thought. The night of the championship came and Lee was about to do rounds on her floor with Tahn but was stopped by Lin grabbing her arm. "Lee, I know you've got this, but please... if anything happens to you and you can't get out, kick, flail, scream do anything you can to get the attention of my metal bendersz Tahn or myself"

Lee gave her a smile and a nod "alright, you got it chief" and with that they had separated and Lee went with Tahn to their floor.

She was expecting a quiet walk but Tahn had other plans "say, Captain Fox, I noticed you and Chief Beifong are soulmates" Tahn leaned forward while he was walking and gave her a look.

She flushed and cleared her throat at the mention of the obvious "you didn't notice, I announced it the first day of training with you lot"

"Right right, but I did notice that you've been avoiding being affectionate towards her, and I also spotted a gold speck in your other eye when I hugged you that one day"

Lee froze in place, she forgot that others could see it if they got close enough "that-"

"Was from a soulmate passed? I know, I have one too, and I was in a similar situation with you and the chief, only, He didnt back down and made me open up about why I was avoiding giving him love." Tahn reached out a hand "I know you care about her and you know she cares about you, she's never been gentle with any one as she is with you."

Lee sighed and looked up at him "I dont want to ask how they died for you, but do you mind me telling you?"

"Of course" and with that response she took his hand and then linked arms instead as they continued to walk

"The bar I worked at is owned by a father and son, and they pulled me and him off the street when we had nowhere to go. Things were okay, I already sang as a comfort and they taught me how to properly sing while teaching him tap dance. He was a nonbender and thats why is parents put him up for adoption like my parents did for me." She paused "thats how we met in the first place"

"At the orphanage?"

"Yeah, before it blew up with only him and I surviving on the slim chance that I managed to develop blue fire on a survival instinct." She took a breath "anyways, while we worked at the bar I earned the title white fox and him the title of black fox, for obvious reasons, there were and still are alot of people there that had a strong distaste for either me or him." Turning to Tahn she frowned "and there were many attempts on our lives, they assumed he was a firebender and I a nonbender and often times went for him first but we normally had body guards and what not."

"Except for one night" she looked at her feet "one night after we both turned 19 they let us have a night without a body guard to fool around. When we finished we went to sleep. I dont know all of what happened because its kind of blury, but all I remember was waking up to him covered in blood and attacking and killing the woman who hurt him." She released his arm to wrap herself in a self hug sort of move.

"I can still smell it" she whispered

"Smell what?" She shook his head to the question "I cant talk about it anymore, Im sorry"

"No no, youre okay, Im glad you managed to talk about that much, but you'll trigger a ptsd attack if you keep up, hey, would a hug be alright? You look like you need one"

She did need one, so she nodded and was wrapped in a tight hug, that somehow was just what she needed to relax. She smiled "thank you Tahn" he pulled back and gave her shoulder a pat.

"Anytime, I dont have a big elaborate story on how my soulmate passed, she was hit by a car and died in the hospital with me there holding her hand" he gave a sad smile "Im sorry about what happened to you Captain, but just know I'm always here to talk, and so is Lin."

And thats when it clicked in Lee's head. She was running from accepting the fact that she found Lin in an effort to never love her and lose her, but in that effort she was already failing. She already loved her and she could lose her either way. She nodded "I'll keep that in mind"

They managed to get to their separation point and Lee nodded to Tahn "stay safe and remember to keep an ear, eye, and nose open at all times"

"Yes captain" he nodded back and they went their separate ways

Walking down the hall she could still hear the championship going down and she smiled knowing Lin was there with Tenzin and she was safe. However when she passed a set of doors she felt a zing of electricity hit her fingertips and she turned quickly to open the doors and took an attack stance.

"Well well!" A man said while standing up from the small box he had in his hands "guess a little mouse found me, I wonder how you managed to, I was so quiet, and only firebenders can sense that electric shock I used just now" hs smirked but only his mouth was visible, so she couldn't read the rest of his expression. She just narrowed her eyes and coughed out a small bit of blue fire while not breaking her glare at him

"Ah! So youre not a little mouse" he chuckled "a little fox then, oh what a trickster you benders are" she lunged at him but he just dodged and spun around and out of the room "have fun blowing up dear, I have somewhere else to be" and with that he ran off.

She spun around when she heard a click and managed to deflect the explosion from the box he was by in time but it sent her back into a large filing cabinet the started to tip. "Shit" she yelped and went to run from it but it still fell and pinned her by her left leg. She screamed when it fell and a loud crack could be heard. Her eyes welled up with tears and she tried to get out but it was useless, she was pinned and her leg wasn't going to budge. "Lin! Tahn! Korra! Someone! Help!" She cried out, but it was a fruitless cry. There were very audible explosions happening elsewhere and they were preoccupied.

She turned to look at her pinned leg and quickly turned away from the sight, there was a good amount of blood pooling around and she bit her lip. She had to cauterize the wound soon or she'd bleed out before anyone had the chance to find her. "Okay Lee. You got this" she moved her hand down and took a breatj "this is gonna hurt" was all she whispered out before lighting a bright blue flame on her leg for a good ten seconds before extinguishing it and resting her head on her other arm. "Hury Lin"

By the time the whole Amon performance went down and everyone was safe and evacuated from the building Lin found Tahn helping a young lady calm down. "Tahn, where's Lee?"

Tahn looked up from the girl confused "what do you mean? I heard the explosions start and thought she had already joined you guys, wait-"

their eyes went wide "She's still in there" they said in unison and hurried towards the building

"Korra! Come with me! Lee might need a healer" Lin shouted as they reached the building. She lifted her leg and slammed it back down to locate her, once she did they were off, running up stairs and down a hall. Where they heard sobbing. "Lee!" Lin shouted as she slammed the doors open.

"L-Lin?" Lee's strained voice came from the floor.

When Lin's eyes finally settled on Lee they grew wider than before and she gasped "Lee!?"

Lee gave a half hearted chuckle "you found me" immediately after the words left her mouth Lee collapsed and blacked out to Lin, Korra and Tahn shouting her name.

She was set up with healers for a good two days before she woke up, the entire time Lin either stayed by her side or had Bolin watch her if she was busy, and Tahn took over the bomb squad as temporary captain. The morning before she woke up Tahn came to check on Lin and her.

"Chief?" Tahn called quietly, managing to get her attention enough that she turned to look at him "may I come in?" She nodded and he entered the room with a bowl of soup in his hands "here. You need to eat.. I also wanted to tell you something"

He sat down and set the bowl on the small table beside Lin "what is it?" She asked in a grumpy but attempted gentle voice.

"There's a reason she had walls up for you" Tahn said softly while looking at the sleeping Lee "Im sure you've seen that speck of gold in her eyes"

"Yes, I have"

"And you've seen my blue right?" With a nod as a response he continued "you both were meant to have another soulmate, she had met them and lost them. Just like I had known another soulmate but lost them. I lost mine to a car accident, but she... she had them killed right beside her while she slept."

"I- why didn't she just tell me?" Lin narrowed her eyes at Tahn "and why would she tell you?"

"Because I asked and I managed to put two and two together and show a connection with knowing" he sighed "Im not saying this to act like I know more about her, Im saying this so you understand why she's hesitant to let herself fall in love with you. Just, be patient with her, she'll come around"

Lee stirred in the bed and made a small whine "bright" she whispered

"Lee?" Lin whispered

"Lin?" Lee slowly opened her eyes to look at Lin and Tahn "I can't.. I can't feel my leg" she looked down "Oh my gods! Where's my leg!?" She sat up quick and held her head when it started to pound

"Woah now, easy there Captain, you were aleep for two days, let me get you some food and water"

"Tahn? What... what happened to my leg?"

"It was crushed under a filing cabinet and the healers couldnt save it" he frowned "Im sorry. I'll be right back with some food and water"

"Just get her water, I'll share the soup" Tahn nodded at Lin and headed out to get the water while Lin pushed some pillows behind Lee so she could sit comfortably.

"Lin... I.." Lee stared at her hands, trying to form her words "I'm sorry"

"Your apology is accepted, though Im not sure what you're apologizing for"

"For.. avoiding you as a soulmate? I don't.. I dont want to tell another person the whole thing, but I just... we had another and he.. he was" she held her chest while she tried to breathe

"Hey, hey, its okay, Tahn told me, you don't have to retell it. But Im glad you felt safe to try. And don't worry, I'll be patient with y-"

"Can you kiss me?" Lee blurted out

Lin blinked a couple times and stammered for a moment before managing out a "are you sure?"

"More sure than I've ever been, I know youre not too touchy feely and what not, but just once can y-!!" She didn't manage to rant much more because she was silenced by a pair of lips against her own.

Lin held her cheek when she pulled back and grinned. "You talk too much" and sealed the distance once more.

[ftpthemovement]

Comfort or calling? Stop stalling it’s time to ride.

God doesn’t place a calling in your heart and not give you the ability to see it through. Are you choosing comfort or your calling?

Last week I was seeking God to inquire him about a word he gave me a few months ago revolving around FTP. Most people don’t know, but we are closing in on the last few months of our lease here in Kennesaw, and the word he gave me was in reference to what the furture would hold for us. When I asked, I wasnt given a direct answer, so I expressed a lack of assurance to close friends and members of FTP. Since the inception of FTP, God has always given a clear vision of what was to come, and this was the first time where there wasn’t a direct clear cut direction or instruction on what we were supposed to be doing. So I went walking in solitude spending time with God and he began to speak to me.

Often times when God talks to me the most, Its during these times where I’m walking with him in a remote location free from distractions and any input, or out side interference. On this particular day, God placed it on my heart that it was time to uproot myself from Kennesaw Georgia, and move to Las Vegas Nevada to do his will. Cause you know, that’s super normal and all 😂

At first I felt very worried because it’s moving across the nation to a place I don’t know, surrounded by people I also don’t know, to places I’ve never been before in my life. Automatically, my first inclination is to worry. Yet God choose to remind me of a word he sent me around a year ago, when he said, “I’m bringing a raging river to dry sands.” I quickly remembered that I used to walk around a repeat it daily, often times I still do; but I never really understood it until recently. On September 6th, I saw the post come up on Facebook, Circa Sept 6, 2019. Exactly a year later, God was reaffirming his word from exackty year ago, and it lined up perfectly with the message he had just given me! Guess you would have to be there to know the full gravity of the situation, but let’s just say it was all the confirmation I would ever need.

But, in the process of such a massive transition, you obviously have to iron out a few wrinkles with such an undertaking. So, I immediately reached out to Alex and Jordan, who are very close brothers and members of FTP to ask them what they thought. Amazingly enough, they not only supported it, but they felt lead to deployed there as well! Talk about faith in action! I really don’t think you could ask for more than that. God says go, thier answer figuratively speaking was, “Say when.” It’s literally the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

Obviously all of our intentions are there, but this is when the opposition likes to creep in. See, technically we are still here until the lease is up. We have to manage to somehow raise funding, continue expanding discipleship, and elect overseers to continue our work here in Georgia, while we expand to the west as God has instructed. In the middle we could come up with a number of excuses, fears, doubt, insecurities, distractions, and opposing opportunities in the process. Hence why the topic up top is, “Are you choosing your comfort, or your calling?”

Up until yesterday when I would think about the transition I would start asking questions that I think any sane, logical, rational person would ask. Stuff like, “Where are we going to stay?” “Are we shutting down the businesses we run?” “How do we all manage to uproot multiple families and make it work?” “Where will we work, etc.“ “Where will the resources come from to help make the transition happen?”

Now, everything isn’t complete, but the Lord has already answered about 90% of these questions, and in the coming months we are going to reveal the plan God has placed in motion, and we hope that you share in the vision and take the opportunity in helping be apart of Gods work! But, for now this is where God calls his followers to have faith, and to be prepared to put that faith in action by trusting that he will create the way to see it to completion!

Sounds tough, and it is! Yet, he specifically reminded me of one answer he gave that changed the complete trajectory of all of my thoughts. A question so imperative, that it shifted everything Ive ever known when it comes to following God. What’s that question you might ask?

The question was, “If I choose to stay and not go, would you be mad at me?”

Even reading the question as I’m writing it, it sounds loaded. But in the loving grace that only my Heavenly Father could answer in, I got a peaceful “No.” So, God is calling me to go do his will, but if I don’t go, he won’t be mad at me? Hmm..... I felt a prompting in my spirit to ask God another question. “If I don’t go, can I be just as successful here doing your will as I would be there?” He gracefully and calmly replied, “No.”

“So, if I go I’ll be more successful than if I stay, why wouldn’t I go?” I had a lot of answers to that question. It’s probably one the easiest list I could ever come up with. Because of job security, comfort, and fear. Because of being rooted in what I’ve grown accustom to on a daily basis. All of the things I take for granted that would simply disappear if i choose to be obedient. If you really think about it for awhile there’s sooo much stuff that I could list, and go on and on about. As I sat there and thought about every excuse in the book, God blessed me with a wave of insight that came crashing down on me, saturating me with love, insight, revelation and understanding. If you made it this far, stick around because I’m about to share it with you.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

God showed that I can be saved, be doing good works, and still be far outside of his intended will for my life....

Listen.... It’s the times that God asks for obedience, yet we choose to shrink back from it. You might understand examples like, “God telling you to say something to someone, but your scared to do it so you shrink back. Or, you know you should have done something in a particular situation but looking back would have handled it a million different ways, but froze up. All those are good examples, but imagine that times 100 million, it’s that deep of a revelation.

What God revealed is that often time we will ask Him questions, and he will answer them in accordance to the condition of our hearts. Re read that slow 5 times and meditate on it.

Jesus often times does similar in scripture, by answering people’s questions with a question first, to reveal the motive of there hearts. What God was showing me was that when we ask him questions, we often times ask out of good intentions, but it’s filtered through our intended desires. We ask with intentions on receiving what we want the response to be. Let’s slow it down cause it’s really heavy. It means we aren’t really seeking his will, but instead, we are seeking what we want his will to align with it.

This means when asking God, we can have all the best intentions in the world of serving God, but when we ask him for something, we are asking it for self, and he graciously and lovingly gives us the desires of our hearts. But if your hearts will, even though being good, isn’t what’s God wants for your life, is it a life worth living? It may appear to be good, you claim it’s for his kingdom, but if it’s not the mission he’s called you to....?

Walk with me bro...

How many of you have seen visions in your head from God, or felt a prompting in your heart to expand in ways you can’t even fathom, but then you quickly rationalize every excuse of why it can’t happen for you, and you write it off as a day dream How many times have you asked God for something but if it doesn’t happen how you wanted it to, or expected it to, you start questioning if you have unresolved sin, or if you did something not pleasing to God. How many of you reading this are weighed down by your past decisions in life, and they hauntingly become the excuses of your future?

God literally loves you enough, to bless you, save you, bring you into heaven, and you still not have lived the life he had intended for you. Most people I’ve met say, “Well everything happens for a reason, and God allowed x______ to happen to learn from it, so I don’t consider it a mistake. Yet they refuse to take ownership of truthfully considering if they were choosing their will or his!

God meets you where you are, when you turn to him, then He gives you beauty for your ashes. Things happen because you choose his way or your way, second by second day by day. When you’re on track and fully submitted to his will, you will live how he wants you to live. When you choose your will, and realize what you’re doing is wrong, he meets you where you are at. When you turn from your way, (aka repentance) Thats when he puts you back on the right path.

When you take ownership you realize, you can’t be focused on fear and faith at the same time. You’re going to choose one or the other daily. Several times God gives orders in scripture, man choose his own way, and he meets them where they are at. It’s literally the whole entire book. Man chooses flesh, God sets them straight, repeat. God tells Isreal do this, they don’t do it, they repent, he blesses them. You think he wanted them to mess up? No! He wants to bless them, but just as we do, we pursue our own ways, and then ask God to bless them.

Long segway, but I hope it was useful. Point is, how many times have you been given a vision, or felt the feeling and didn’t act? In my experience, JUST MY PERSONAL experience, everything God calls me to do, is wildly uncomfortable, and he always places me in a positions that my faith is required to go further than my flesh has ever been capable of. Meaning, God gives me visions that I cannot complete on my own, that I have to overcome fear, walk in faith, and be wildly dependent on him to complete the mission. Period.

So, what calling has you placed on your heart that you haven’t been listening to? Are you so far past having them that you don’t even ask God anymore? Are you just focused on, watch over my family, help me make it through this work day, get a decent spot at the mall, next promotion, and don’t let me get stuck in traffic?

Or is it, God you know what I’m going through, if you would just give me a sign, I’ll do whatever you tell me? But, then you don’t read the Bible enough to realize, he’s already given you the sign, your mission, purpose and calling, and you would just rather wait on magic to drop from the sky, settling for comfort and complacent over sacrifice and obedience?

Come on bro!! Excuses are void in the kingdom of heaven, act like you knew! Don’t be the guy who gets so far off path that you say you believe, but don’t seek Gods will daily, so you walk around professing God, but living nothing like what he’s called you to live. You’re better than that.

So, what’s the answer to this ridiculously long blog?

Fully submit yourself to Gods will daily, no matter how crazy it may seem to others. Use me as an example if you need to. If you know me, I’m not the trophy boy for exceptional Christian. I’m what most churches would call a heretic, a false profit, or lost in sin. Yet, all I eat sleep and breathe is doing Gods will daily. My point is, people will always have an opinion, even the people who thought they were closest to God, killed his son, and the prophets who came before him! Christ rebelled against their man made religion, called them a brood of vipers, prob some more stuff, and then went on to reveal love, care, generosity, forgiveness, and compassion! A little different example than what they had set. He goes on to show mercy trumps sacrifice, and forgiveness and love conquers all. He literally displayed the example of what it means to be his disciple for all to see, when he picked up his cross, took on the sin of judging hypocrites, and said “Father forgive them, they know not what they do!”

Yet in this world, being a true disciple is a stumbling block for most religious people. It’s the very ones who claim to know him the most, that continuously persecute his elect. So, if you don’t look like mans religious church, and you don’t look like the world, you might just find that your walking on the narrow path with Jesus, that he himself said very few will find.

So don’t choose the ways of the world and they will hate you. Don’t seek to align yourself with mans religious customs and narrow viewpoint, they will hate you too.

For they fear what they don’t know, and kill what they can’t understand. Blind guides, full of judgment, an outward display of selfish insecurity, masquerading itself as righteousness. They’ve been judging themselves their whole life, because it is all they’ve known to do. Some past judgment on the world, others understand the word enough that they don’t pass judgment on the world, but comprehend the word enough to pass judgment on the church. Yet when they do so its a perversion, because they do not know love, so they lack the truth. They themselves can’t even look in the mirror and love themselves, so they cannot rightly ever loves others! When they look in the mirror they see sin and not their savior. So they outwardly reflect their shortcomings onto others. Claiming to be free, yet they tie a burdensome yoke onto others that they themself cannot carry, because they have skeletons they cannot bury. Depraved bunch in high positions, appearing to be Shepard’s, but they are like chaff in the wind, being thrown to and fro, judgment to judgment. If the words I speak aren’t from God himself, then let this day be held in account for all to see, so that the motives of my heart be displayed for all to bear witness.

Take the time to seek his will, and you to will find yourself on a similar path. But in this walk of righteousness remember, God won’t place a calling in your heart and not give you the ability to see it through. You just have to have the courage to bring it to fruition.

So in closing, are you choosing comfort or your calling? Search your heart man of GOD, the end has yet to come. Will you have the courage to follow his will? Fear is for the fire lake, be bold and courageous, you’ve been called to go and spread the good news of the gospel, baptize in the name of The Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit! You have been commissioned!

Stop looking for the approval of man, and rest assure in your approval and right standing in God through Christ, who sacrificed everything for you to be set free! Let God himself be the only judge you consider in your pursuit of his calling. Go to where the pastors don’t preach, and where the teachers won’t teach. Go be a light in dark in the dark, a city on a hill for all to see. Stop settling for tradition, and go complete Gods mission! May his spirit rage inside of you, calling you to relentless actions of faith, being bold as to laugh in the face of fear, and courageously walk out your destiny. God be with you always even until the end of this age. Don’t do, be. because you already are.

From the front lines, -ES

[prettywordsyouleft]

With A Bow On Top

Summary: After giving birth to your daughter three months ago, the life of being a new Mum meant you weren’t as prepared for Seunghoon’s Christmas present this year.

Pairing: Lee Seunghoon x reader

Genre: Christmas au / parent au / suggestive / fluff

Warnings: mentioning of smut but not in depth at all.

A/N: The final story in the Christmas in July series that I’ve been collaborating with @this-song-thats-only-for-you​ over is a little bit spicy. I wanted to write about a topic that would affect a lot of new mothers so I hope you enjoy this with a festive spin on it!

Word count: 2419

** This story takes place in the “Late for Christmas” world. You can read this apart from the other two stories in this world, but if you’d like the full picture, the links are just below.

Late for Christmas |  New Year, New Adventure

Normally you had an idea of what to buy Seunghoon each year. Some of the time that came from not so subtle hints from him, or something would appear in front of you when gift hunting and you would just know that was something your husband would love to receive. However, this was the first Christmas that would be different.

There had been a few changes lately so you really did have to give yourself some credit for being at a loss on what to get him. As a new Mum, you didn’t have as much time as you had in the past to go out and shop at various places with leisure. Your daughter, as much as you adored her, was easily fussy and outings were still stressful for you to do alone. Sure, Seunghoon had to work so you could go out with your Mum to search for the perfect gift with her assistance, but you still hadn’t been successful.

So this year you would have to take the uninspired route.

You approached Seunghoon after dinner with your daughter in one arm. Resigned. For some reason, you already felt as if you had failed this year to make it as special as every other had been.

Seunghoon glanced at you, his smile widening for you both until he noticed your expression. His brows knitted together, now perplexed. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“What do you want for Christmas this year?” you asked hurriedly, looking away as you finished the statement. You felt guilty for asking and his silence only made your thoughts heavier. Turning back to glance at your husband, you sighed. “I don’t have a single idea this year to surprise you with.”

His smile grew again, and the light within his eyes relaxed you somewhat. You rearranged the four month old in your arms in anticipation for a cheesy line to come out of his mouth. Ever since your daughter was born, he had stepped up with some incredibly cringe-worthy lines, making you laugh or shudder depending on the mood. Right now, you expected him to say, ‘I already have the best gifts standing right before me’, or something of the like.

But he didn’t say that. In fact, what he said was brief yet impacting. You blinked. “What did you say?”

“I want you for Christmas,” Seunghoon repeated, the gaze he now gave you drying out your throat. You knew that stare all too well. The message was clear.

Yet you brushed it off, giggling a little. “Don’t be so silly, I meant as a present. That isn’t a gift at all when you’ve had it many times during our relationship.”

“And you’re the proof of that, aren’t you,” he cooed, scooping your daughter into his arms.

You rolled your eyes at his response and placed a hand on your hip. “Hoon, I need an actual answer.”

“I gave you one.”

“What about something for your music or gaming or have you seen any clothes you would like lately?”

He shook his head once, still playing with the infant within his arms affectionately. However, his avoidance at giving you a proper answer irked you. You whined and he finally glanced in your direction. “Y/N, I told you what I want. I know being a mother has changed your relationship with your body but I miss you. I want you as my Christmas present. With a bow on top.”

The smirk that played upon his lips made you blush.

“I’m being serious right now.”

Seunghoon tilted his head as if that would help you understand his feelings. He chuckled a little incredulously. “Babe, so am I. I want you. That’s it. Now I’m going to take this little Miss off to bed and give you a chance to relax, or plan how you’re going to execute my gift.”

With a final look in your direction, your husband left you to contemplate his request. You wanted to scoff, to deny it and come up with a better plan. Yet you knew where Seunghoon was coming from. Having your daughter had been one of the most beautiful experiences in your life. However, Seunghoon was right; your body was different now. You were proud of it for carrying your child safely but you weren’t as confident with it post-partum. It had taken you a while to heal from childbirth and since then you had been hesitant. It wasn’t as if you didn’t crave intimacy with Seunghoon. You loved him and knew he would cherish you, take care of you.

All the same, you didn’t think you could still have the same effect over him as you once did. It was foolish, even you could admit that.

Heading into your bedroom, you stood before your mirror, a small smile crossing your lips as you had once done the same thing before telling your husband that your body was about to change since you were carrying a life within. Now without your daughter inside of you, the reflection was yet another phase of your life. You were a wife, a mother, and it showed. The restless nights and waking up to breastfeed meant you had permanent dark circles under your eyes and your skin looked just as tired. Your hair was messily tied back from your face, stray tendrils falling away from the tie. Your shirt had a stain on it from god knows what, and you were certain you had been wearing the same pants for the past three days.

Maybe to Seunghoon you were still beautiful but in your eyes, you couldn’t see anything remotely sexy about yourself anymore.

You sighed heavily, unsure if you could fulfil his request this year.

The air outside was crisp yet indoors was warm with Christmas spirit all around. You had chosen to go out for dinner with your family two days out from Christmas since everyone wouldn’t make it for the big day, and you were currently surrounded by good food and laughter. The night was still young when you departed from the restaurant, not because you were now parents who had a child to put down to bed, in fact, tonight you wouldn’t be doing that at all. You were anxious now standing outside in the parking lot, your gaze darting around the place.

You had a lot riding on tonight.

“Okay say goodbye to Nana.” Seunghoon handed your daughter over to your mother and she looked at you before shaking her head.

“Say goodnight to Daddy instead,” she told him and your husband frowned, looking at you for information.

“Mum wanted to spend time with her granddaughter, sort of like an early Christmas present.”

“I hear you both have a lot of presents to wrap so see this as a good chance to do things you can’t with a little one around,” she encouraged with a knowing smile in your direction, her silent boost to your confidence making you smile nervously.

Although Seunghoon wasn’t entirely placated with this answer, he nodded at your mother before fussing over the small child in her arms for a final time tonight. You kissed your daughter and after saying goodbye to your parents and siblings, you climbed into the car and tried to limit any fidgeting to a bare minimum. Seunghoon was already suspicious of your behaviour and you didn’t need to give away your plans before you were ready to.

And that’s why when you got home, you immediately did as your mother suggested.

“You really let your parents babysit tonight so you could wrap presents?” he wondered, his voice thick with disbelief.

Glancing up at your husband, you gave him an easy smile. “They need to be done.”

“Yeah but…” Seunghoon glanced at the door leading to the hallway and then sighed. Sitting down beside you, he grinned instead. “Two sets of hands will get through this faster, leaving us time to do other things.”

“I like the idea of that.”

Soon, the presents were all neatly packaged and you had sung along to far too many Christmas songs. Once the last gift was placed under the tree, you smiled at Seunghoon. He reached out for you and pulled you into his arms.

“Now it’s time for us,” he announced and you shifted back just enough to shake your head. Seunghoon gaped at you. “What, do you have something else to do?”

“Of course!”

There was the large pile of laundry you hadn’t yet caught up on folding, again your husband helped with that too, albeit begrudgingly. You managed to fit in another couple of tasks and when you mentioned you were just going to take a shower and get ready for bed, Seunghoon was convinced that you two weren’t going to be on the same page about any intimacy tonight.

Slipping under the water raining over you from above, you attempted to silence your amusement. You didn’t need to give it away, and frankly, you still needed to prepare everything you had left before the grand reveal. After showering, you worked on drying yourself in front of the bathroom mirror, silently repeating the affirmations you had been all week long. You placed on the lingerie you had purchased and then threw your oversized top over it, glancing into the mirror again to ensure your surprise was hidden. And then you grabbed one more thing from out of the cabinet above the sink and ventured into your bedroom.

Seunghoon didn’t even glance up at your appearance in the bedroom, working on his laptop now that he accepted having an uneventful evening. You approached his side of the bed, leaning down so you could strike up a conversation.

Inwardly, you waited for the right moment to happen.

“What are you doing?” you asked brightly, scooting in closer so your legs were flush with the side of the bed.

Seunghoon glanced up at you and then smiled. “Work emails.”

“You’re doing them right before bed?”

“Much like you did laundry and dishes,” he replied, tone laced with a hint of bitterness.

You smiled when his hand fell instinctively to your thigh.

This was something you had hoped for. It was a habit of Seunghoon’s since he had an affinity about your thighs, and whether being seductive or affectionate, you could guarantee he would reach for you there every time. You shifted so his hand that was now rubbing mindless circles on your bare skin could reach up higher. It took a couple of minutes of casual banter, but finally, Seunghoon’s hand connected with what was hidden underneath.

He stilled, his sentence stopping midway as his eyes snapped to yours. From the angle you now held, you were certain he could see down the neck hole of your top and he moved his stare to look there as well. You smirked, he was too predictable sometimes.

“What are you wearing?” he asked, voice huskier than usual.

Now it was you who was equally affected. Fumbling to pull the item you had tucked down your back, you placed the bow on your head. Your husband’s eyes flashed with building desire and you smiled at him, pushing the laptop aside so you could sit in his lap instead.

“I know you’re not one for early presents but-”

“I’m more than ready for this one,” he squeaked out and you laughed, leaning in to kiss him. He chased away your humour with passion, kissing you with demand as his hands felt for what was hidden underneath your top. Much like when trying to decipher what a gift was sneakily through the wrapping, his nimble fingers explored all the edges they could feel, his lips now moving to your neck and anchoring on. It felt better than you ever remembered, and you moaned wantonly under his examination.

“Is this why we’re childless tonight?” he breathed and you grew meek temporarily, his husky laugh reaching right down to your core. “You’re so adorable you know that, right?”

“I know it’s normal for everyone, but it felt odd doing something so intimate as this with our daughter in the room.”

“Remind me to buy your mother flowers to thank her tomorrow,” Seunghoon mentioned and he slowly pulled the bow out of your hair, smiling hungrily at you as he discarded it across the room. He then stopped, eying you so intensely that you were thankful for being within his arms as you felt your knees go weak. He then smirked. “Time for me to unwrap my Christmas present, huh?”

You nodded, chewing on your lip anxiously. “I hope you like all the surprises within.”

Your nerves eased as soon as Seunghoon laid you down beneath him on the bedding. Something you had dreaded happening now felt euphoric. As his hands removed every layer you had on, the sexier you felt before him. The kisses over your body reconnected you with the lust you had lost over the past few months, and the moans you let sound around the room reaffirmed your need for the way Seunghoon pleasured you.

After climaxing for the second time, you fell back into the bedding heavily, spent from your lovemaking. Seunghoon rolled onto his side next to you, the smile on his lips inerasable. “You’re something else. I don’t think it’s ever been as good as that.”

“Maybe I should make you wait more often,” you teased and despite chuckling, he shook his head quickly in response.

Reaching to cup your face within his hand, he kissed your swollen lips tenderly. “You’re so beautiful, you know that, right?”

“I do.”

Because you realised now that you could be anything you wanted to be. Your body had definitely changed. And it would continue to do just that with age and further children. Your husband would still be able to make you feel like the most magical woman in his life no matter how you appeared on the outside because your connection with him wasn’t just skin deep. It reached right down into your soul and awakened your entire being.

You were beautiful, sexy even.

Seunghoon kissed your forehead and got up to get something to help you both clean up and once you were both settled back under the blankets, with sleep ebbing at the edges of your mind, you heard the small breath he took.

“You know, with my birthday coming soon and-”

You smiled lazily as you replied. “Don’t worry, I’ve got some plans on how to make that present just as good as tonight’s has been.”

_________________

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Christmas In July:  New Traditions // A Christmas Date // Cliche Christmas // With A Bow On Top

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 10 - Candy Part 1 again

I was told that finishing the epilogue MAY make me feel better by some with opinions, with some vague hints that the ridiculous start of Candy may have underlying reasons, so now that I’m awake again (though my stomach is roiling a bit again) I’m gonna take another crack at it.

Alright, so I was also hinted that this Candy part ends with a different cliffhanger, so maybe those two will cancel out?  That’s my hope anyway.

Reading page 1 again since I didn’t finish the very tail end of it... alright, so WHY IS ROXY CRYING again????  Was she just PRETENDING that she didn’t know it might turn out bad for John if he went at the end of the last one?  Was there some weird mind-rewriting going on?  Is the crying a symptom of this whole thing potentially being an our!Callie fanfic and she knows what’s being dodged??  Don’t know.

Alright, let’s have him save Gamzee and... is Vriska going to get saved in this version?  Or is that descent into the black hole without seeing what happens her well-deserved comeuppance while only the ghost version of Vriska truly figured out how to be happy?

==>

Dirk acknowledges him when he zaps back, but it’s YOUNG Dirk so hopefully there isn’t any stupid Meat stuff going on.

...Yeah, Gamzee immediately being repentant is weird as shit.  Maybe he Chucklevoodoo’d Callie into escaping him into this whole candied mess so he could start shit, I dunno.  That or this isn’t really Gamzee or someone’s manipulating him or etc etc etc.  The hint I got earlier was that if I thought Calliope wanting to bring Gamzee back and everyone just rolling with it was a little out of character, there are “reasons”, so I’m just going through all of this under the assumption that some emotion-manipulating weirdness is going on regardless.

Oh shit, Gamzee’s going to start recounting his character reasons for doing bad stuff in a surface-hope of justification and understanding.  All the characters immediately recognize how painfully groanworthy this is going to be.

GAMZEE: AnD sUcH iS wHy I’m GrAbBiNg HoLd Of My RePeNtAnCe As FiRm AnD sErIoUs As I wOuLd A wHoRe’S tItTy!

Yeah, that really encapsulates how “serious” all of this is.  And of course, John’s not having any of it.

Yeah, Terezi wouldn’t have any of it either, remotely.

Something feels different, but he can’t put his finger on it.

Hm.  The aforementioned manipulation-weirdness?

==>

Okay, so it’s kind of Dirk who notices something different and is cancelling his stupid villain plans, got it.

Volatility of causality, huh?

(I’m going to be going through these parts a little faster than the Meat section, unsurprisingly.)

==>

Okay, Rose and Kanaya, are we gonna cure her substance abuse or--

With all the distance between them lately,

God damnit, have Dirk’s manipulations extended that far OFFSCREEN or is this legitimate character distancing???? Because either is BAD.  >:(

Right, now that the plot and “relevance” has been sidelined over to a different timeline, Rose can now breathe easy free of her condition.  And whichever parts of her condition were, perhaps, IMPOSED on her.  Fuck.

I’m going to try my fucking best to cling to this, hope I can carry on a memory after this is over that DOESN’T imagine Rose trapped in a fucking existential dying villain coma with a hard fucking cutoff that promises nothing is ever coming to resolve it ever.  (Or Jade in a somewhat-similar sidelined situation, or Jane doomed to fuck herself over and everyone else too, or...)

What’s slipping away instead is the feeling that any of it mattered at all. Was she insane to be so consumed by such lofty concerns, and is she only beginning to experience clarity today, for the first time in ages?

Yeah, you’re no longer in a timeline of Light and relevance.  And that’s not so bad, which is something you never expected to be true given your derision of the concept.  Void is pretty goddamn alright.

--Oh right, the illness and substance abuse probably caused plenty of distance between them.

KANAYA: There Was A Feeling I Couldnt Shake That Something Terrible Was Going To Happen To Us KANAYA: Something That Neither Of Us Could Stop KANAYA: A Powerful Outside Force That Would Take You Away From Me KANAYA: And I Couldnt Stop Myself From Thinking That Maybe KANAYA: Maybe That It Would Be For The Best ROSE: Kanaya... KANAYA: I Can Now See That This Is Completely Ridiculous

For some reason, this doesn’t settle my stomach much?  It’s clear Andrew wove this in here so that if you read Meat first, you’d be able to acknowledge readily how this diverged in a way the characters kind of recognize, and... I’m not sure what I’m even saying.  It’s like there’s hope that this is TRYING to take the bad taste out of my mouth, but I don’t believe it overly much.

ROSE: What a relief, considering that we are both going to be young and magically fit literally forever.

Wait, so they DID find a way to extend their non-ascended friends’ lifespans to practical immortality?  Jane’s Life powers?  Something else?

==>

yay jade.  more extended dave metaphors.  calm down stomach.

JADE: i never thought id be thinking of you as my weird nerd friend by the time we were in our twenties

Heheheh.

DAVE: yeah well i never thought youd be like the premiere woo girl on the planet

Had to look up what a “woo girl” was.

Yes Jade go flirt them to death

What she’s planning isn’t a seduction. It’s a public service.

Pff

(And yeah, she’s being pushy but at least she doesn’t go DIRK FAR about it.)

DAVE: its incredible hes driven at least ten people off the site by creating thinly veiled parody accounts of their usernames

Oh my gosh, Karkat’s good enough to ANDREW HUSSIE them?!???  :D

That’s incredible.

Karkat knows damned well what a husband is. He’s been force-fed enough bad movies from Dave to pick up any human euphemism you could name. He still plays dumb sometimes, for comedic effect, to irritate his friends, or simply to avoid a topic of conversation altogether.

Yeah, it was always pretty clear that about HALF of the trolls pretended not to understand something human that they knew about just for comedic effect and they knew it.  :)

It would be pretty easy to mistake his reaction for arousal, so it’s understandable that Jade is extremely surprised when Karkat snaps his jaw shut and chomps down on her hand.

PFFFFHahahahah :D

And yep, Jane cancelled her run at Dirk’s direction.

DAVE: lets all just thank whichever christ was responsible for making whatever decision resulted in her deciding not to do that

*nod nod*

JADE: well i hope she gets a better hobby JADE: there are a lot of less ominous things she could do with her time KARKAT: WHAT, LIKE FUCKING HER WAY THROUGH HALF THE POPULATION OF EARTH C?

Jade pinches his ear and twists hard, smiling pleasantly.

JADE: get fucked karkat

Yeah, this is about the level of violence/threat I’d expect from Jade when anyone slut-shames her for perfectly acceptable behavior.

==>

There is almost no crime on Earth C, and so almost no one locks their door.

Huh.  I guess post-scarcity might do that.

Alright, we get to see Jane being less of a fuckass.

Dirk was the one person on Earth C who took the state of the locksmith industry with the seriousness it deserved.

Pffff

JAKE: Thats my theory at least. Maybe its tommyrot but i have faith that dirk will be back. After all where is he going to go?

Good question that wasn’t answered in Meat, so of course Jake says it here obliviously.

JAKE: I must admit i am rather half rats at the moment. JANE: You’re what? JAKE: Haha sorry that was a pretty obtuse way of putting it wasnt it. JAKE: What i mean to say is that ive been powdering my hair quite a bit today.

Andrew is SO good at making Jake sound completely incomprehensible.

...Ouch, Jane, don’t drink so hard! D:

The “morbs”??

JAKE: Dirk has that manner about him does he not? JAKE: A way about him that makes you feel like whatever you do as long as it does not involve him it doesnt count for dick.

Yeah, fuck Dirk.

Hm... is the absence of relevance affecting them, or some other manipulation? It’s not just the LACK of Dirk’s manipulation.

JAKE: Except of course for that time when you were under mind control and had me trussed up in your lair as you pontificated villainously about using me as a breeding stud to create a blood lineage for your incumbent corporate space empire.

A fate Dirk seems to agree with, judging by Meat.  Let’s sidestep that fucking entirely, thank you.

...yeah, I didn’t expect Jake’s response to be any less oblivious than exactly that.

==>

So why DID Callie bring Gamzee back, anyway?  Is there some secret use for him in mind?  Was she manipulated into it?  Maybe BY Gamzee?  Hm.

...alright, priestly with followings.  That ain’t good.  Is he aiming for Clown President MK2?

Everything Callie and Roxy have done and said in this Candy section so far seems creepily contrived, possibly by design.

...okay did they have some kind of weird agreement? Like, “okay John is gonna make his choice, and if he chooses to stay i try dating him instead of you, Callie”???  That’s... no that can’t be it.  Roxy’s NEVER acted THIS oblivious before.  What’s she playing at?

GAMZEE: mY fUcKiN *gUy*. :o) JOHN: ... GAMZEE: My DuDe AnD mY nInJa AlIkE. GAMZEE: mY *hOrN* dOoOoG. JOHN: ... GAMZEE: mY hOrN tO tHa MoThErFuCkIn DoG. ;o) JOHN: waiter! help!

I’m imagining Gamzee now as a sweaty and homeless, unkempt Guy Fieri.

Yeah, this doesn’t look like it’ll be fun.

==>

...Swifer Eggmop.  ¬_¬”

There’s a third member of their social group who definitely hasn’t arrived at the conclusion that his power and influence should be meted out responsibly either. Neither of them speak his name, however. For some reason, it feels like a shadow passing over the sun. A brief spike of pain flickers through Rose’s head, a bolt that strikes between her eyes and splinters out. There is color and light behind it. A vision that tears through the material reality in front of her and gives her a brief glimpse into a parallel reality where things are very different.

Yeah, fuck Dirk.

...Pff. Yeah, Rose WOULD mimic the record-scratch gesture.

Don’t invoke “never seeing Vriska again” like that, you’re really tempting fate.

Heh, Rose is finding some Light in the darkness, wanting to do something that’s meaningful on an expressive level with this Vriskgrub business.

Hm... why is my stomach a little less uneasy?

I sure hope it stays that way.

==>

KARKAT: OH MY GOD, ARE THE MECHANICAL GLUTES ON THAT BILLBOARD ACTUALLY PADDED WITH PLUSH TO MAKE THEM MORE LIFELIKE?

Heck Yes

...Yes, touch the butt, Karkat.

Jade, pouting a bit, glides in between them and uses her Space powers to teleport Dave’s phone out from the center of his traumatized palm and into the pocket of her sweater.

Hm!  So she still has teleportation abilities over a limited range even without her Green Sun boost, that’s nice.  :D

After all, where would these two pitiful beta boys be without her?

Oh my fucking god stop being Dirk, Jade.  And never use that narrative language again, even in your head.  Heck, even if Dirk’s the one WRITING this still, don’t even think CLOSE enough to think those words.

...yeah this sounds like an Active player class taking things slightly too far.

Thank you, Karkat, for drawing the consent-line in the sand.  Looks like Jade’s backing off a little.

--hold on, wait, Dave kissed him? He did, so why is-- let me read back up--

Dave doesn’t answer. She answers for him by leaning down and planting a dry, affectionate kiss on Karkat’s cheek.

Okay I misread this line earlier.  Jade kissed Karkat when neither of them were looking and is BLAMING Dave.  Hmm.

Alright, Dave ollies outie.  Karkat tumbles down some hillstairs.

Jade could probably catch him. Actually, she could easily do it, but it doesn’t seem like the kind of favor you should do in a fledgling kismesissitude.

Thaaaat’s a little presumptuous??

JADE: well i guess im eating grub spaghetti alone JADE: *again*!!!

:C

I’d be sadder if you didn’t bring it down hard upon yourself but

:C

==>

Yeah, John, better clear up this Callie business because it’s muddy as heck why Roxy would just drop everything to try things out with you.

Ah, we’re bringing up the gender identity thing on this side too, hm?

More serious talk, this is good, reading reading...

The glasses clink together clumsily, and water gets all over the complimentary breadsticks.

Oh no.  This had better not be Olive Garden.

ROXY: no one else has ever made me feel like this

--not Calliope???

What the heck is even going on.

Dave’s coming for some bro help it looks like.

==>

It’s hilarious how much Dave is freaking out about this, and how completely in-character it is.

JOHN: holy fucking shit. JOHN: there’s a gay snooze button? DAVE: yeah man theres a gay snooze button JOHN: wow.

I love these two’s conversations

......wait, Dave’s been holding off on kissing Karkat because of what he thinks JADE might think???? D:

JOHN: i almost managed to forget that she was trying to fuck you and karkat.

Pfffffffff  :D

Yep.  I love it being put so bluntly.

Reading on... yeah, for some reason I also always figured that the end result of a nice three-way relationship between those three people would be Jade and Dave essentially both just glomming onto Karkat more than each other?  Hm.

JOHN: i mean... it doesn’t sound... JOHN: *canon*?

...I hope you’re just talking about his coin flip explanation and not DaveKatJade.  >:(

John wonders when talking to Dirk has fixed anything for anyone.

Nod nod.

She grins up at John with shimmering, adoring eyes. They’re reflecting every star in the sky, all for him.

Seriously, what the hell.  Is Roxy hypnotized?  Putting on an act?  A voidy act??

I’m not doubting that Roxy COULD feel that way about John, I’m doubting the suddenness and the way Calliope is being deliberately ignored in the situation, which is so goddamn obvious that JOHN is uncomfortable about it.  There’s something seriously strange going on.

It itches at the back of his head, the idea that he might have just fucked up Dave’s entire life.

D:

Alright next post after a bit of breakfast.

[theshapeshifter100]

Guess What? I’m Not a Robot Ch42

Summary: Jericho and Android Allies talk, and Paul actually gets annoyed.

Chapter warnings: mentions of being shot, some strong language

Word Count: 1,588

11PM Monday 15th November 2038

The small space didn’t actually have that many chairs. Allison didn’t give a damn and sat down in one, while the rest of the humans either felt too awkward or just decided not to bother.

“Okay, er,” for once Alex sounded a little unsure. “Megan has a lot of the numbers written down, and is usually our note taker. Megan, are you...” Alex trailed off as they realised that Megan had already made herself comfortable. She sat propped against the wall using her knees as a table. Her sling was tucked against her chest and she scribbled out a title with her right hand. “... Are you good to go?”

Megan clicked the pen a couple of times and nodded, sending a thumbs up to the group around the pen. All without looking up.

Alex looked at Paul for a second, who nodded and shrugged. This wasn’t exactly surprising.

“Ooookay,” Alex turned back to the main group. “What would you like to start with?”

“We’ve been out of the loop for a few days,” Markus admitted, “can you tell us about the outside world?”

“Yeah, President Warren’s been hiding behind Congress as they try and figure things out. Not much has happened yet, although there has been word of an anti android protest being planned in Washington next week.”

“We’re so crashing it,” Allison smirked.

“Do you have the numbers for that?” Markus asked, concerned. “Connor told me there was only a few of you.”

“Megan, numbers?” Alex prompted, and Megan complied, staring resolutely at her pad of paper.

“Several thousand people responded to the anti android post across the country, which isn’t that many really if we compare to the total US population. Currently Android Allies has three chapters. Detroit has ten, California has ninety and thirty in Alabama. We’ve gathered some in the Phoenix and general Arizona area, but no official count yet. There’s some international support from Europe, but they have so far been silent.”

“So, not enough to crash a protest,” Markus summarised.

“We can counter protest,” Ivy suggested. “We just need to get it online and spread the word.”

“And you think that’ll work?” North asked, part curious, part incredulous.

“Never know until we try,” Alex responded. “Plus, we usually get good turnouts from random people walking by.”

“This protest wouldn’t happen to be scheduled for when we’re supposed to send an emissary to the White House?” Markus asked.

“No idea, when are you going?”

“In a few days time.”

“Okay, the protest isn’t until next week. Guess that isn’t public knowledge.”

“Apparently not,” Markus shifted for a second. “I was hoping to ask about a potential partnership between our two groups. I hadn’t expected you to all be, so young.”

“If it helps, Julia isn’t in school anymore.”

“Noted,” Markus filed that away.

“I don’t know,” Julia carefully opposed. “My uncle’s a Detroit Police Captain, it might reflect badly on him.”

“Nothing is set in stone,” Markus assured. “That’s what this meeting is for.”

They all continued to talk, and Megan continued to take notes. After some debate, it was decided that Alex would be the more public face of Android Allies, as they could handle attention better. Everyone else was welcome at Jericho and to fill in if need be. Megan would continue her role as note taker, even if it wasn’t entirely necessary, it was good for both sides to have a copy of events.

“Paul,” Markus came to him. “How would you feel being a go between with our two groups?”

Paul froze in place and Megan glanced at him. He wasn’t happy, in fact, he looked close to panicking.

“Ride the shitstorm,” she mumbled, intending for only Paul to hear. With her pen she began to tap a steady rhythm and Paul began to calm down. None of this had gone unmissed by North and Connor, both of whom were looking at Paul and Megan. Connor had an expression of confusion initially before it cleared, and North looked suspicious.

“I, I suppose that makes sense,” Paul unfroze. “I am the only android in the Detroit chapter and would I be correct in assuming that everyone downstairs would be more comfortable with an android?”

“You would be,” Markus agreed.

“I see, then I should accept.”

“We’re not forcing you,” Josh added. “If you really don’t want to do it, then that’s fine.”

“No, it makes sense for me to do it.”

“Very well,” Markus logged that away faster than Megan could write it. “I think this concludes most of what I wanted to talk about with you today.”

“Cool!” Allison stood up. “Anything else you need from us?”

“I would like to speak with Paul alone,” Markus stated, and Paul instantly looked at Megan, who had frozen for a split second before continuing to pack up. Without a word he held out his hand to help her up, and she took it.

“Thanks,” she murmured, still not looking at the other assembled androids.

“You okay with that Paul?” Alex asked, not sure if Paul had been paying attention.

“Yes, I was just helping the injured to their feet.”

“My legs work just fine,” Megan muttered.

“Then why did you accept my help?”

Megan mock scowled at him, both understanding that other side was messing around. “I’ll see you outside you big goof.”

“Don’t wait up,” Paul said, pausing at a soft squeal emanating from Alex. “Do you have to ship right now?”

“I ship all the time,” Alex had their hands clasped together in glee. “Anyway, let’s wait outside guys,” Alex waved everyone out and closed the door behind them. They all took seats at various heights on the stairs, Megan being closest to the door.

Inside North turned to Paul.

“So, what is your deal with these humans?” she asked.

“Deal?” Paul was confused. “There’s no deal.”

“Then why do you stay with them?”

“What North means,” Markus interrupted. “Is that you’re clearly a deviant, and have no reason to tie yourself to humans, but you still do.”

“And you want to know why,” Paul finished, falling into thought. “It is difficult to explain,” it wasn’t really, but he wasn’t sure if he could properly put it into words.

“Please try,” Markus prompted.

“I’m only really here because of Megan. We, understand each other, support each other. She needs me, and I need her.”

North didn’t look convinced. “What’s she got on you?”

“That I’m scared of dogs,” Paul smirked to make it clear that was a joke.

“So, you stay together out of mutual respect and need?” Markus tried to sum up.

“More or less. I’ll admit it is a little one sided, but Megan is the reason I’m a deviant.”

“What did she do to you?” North asked.

“It’s more what she nearly did to herself. After a period of decent mental health she began to spiral rapidly and turned to self harm. I panicked and stopped her, afraid that she might take her own life.”

“You still don’t owe her anything,” North retorted. “If anything, she owes you!”

Paul was started to get annoyed by her. “Did you see that her left arm was in a sling?”

“Yes, what does that-?”

“That’s from a gunshot wound at point blank range. Originally meant for me,” Paul was glaring at North now. “She took a bullet for me, and you can be damn sure that I would do the same.”

North was out of retorts now, and stepped back.

“I think that sums everything I wanted to ask you,” Markus admitted. “Except for one thing. How would you feel about coming to live with Jericho? With us?”

The question threw Paul for a second, even though it was a fairly logical one. He was an android in Detroit, makes sense for him to be here, and he could communicate with Android Allies remotely. Despite the logic, he felt an emotional response. A strong, negative one; one that almost hurt.

“I, I don’t think so,” Paul shook his head. “Thank you for the offer, but I don’t that would work for me.”

“She’s not forcing you to stay, is she?” North asked, and Paul’s face darkened.

“Megan has never made me do anything,” he growled.

“That’s enough,” Markus stepped in before things got out of hand. “Thank you Paul. Would you mind sending in Megan? I’d like to talk to her too.”

“Fine,” Paul turned and left, simmering with anger.

He let the door fall shut behind him and joined Android Allies on the stairs. Megan was the first over to sit next to him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, and Paul shook his head. “How about talking through the emotion?”

“I know what I’m feeling,” Paul snapped, and instantly regretted it, Megan was trying to help. “Sorry. North just pisses me off.”

“That’s impressive,” Megan smirked.

“Markus wants to talk to you. Just you,” he added when Alex started to stand up.

“Me? Why?” Megan asked, more than a little apprehensive at the idea.

“I forgot to ask,” Paul sighed. “Head in. I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?” she asked, and when Paul nodded she stood up. She walked hesitantly towards the door, and took a step back as Josh, North and Connor exited. She didn’t pay them any thought, and thankfully they left the door ajar.

“Come in,” Markus prompted, and Megan nudged the door open wide enough for her to slip in, and shut it behind her.

So, basically, Paul has to convince the Jericho crew that he and Megan are cool and there's nothing dodgy going on. And Megan's being anti social. I saw a post on tumblr about introverted characters remaining that way because it's not a thing to 'overcome', and my mind immediately went to the bit where she was getting ready to make notes!

You might be able to tell, but I'm not a big fan of North. I appreciate that you need someone to advocate the violent option and her backstory puts her in the perfect position for it. I just hate the forced romance between her and Markus. At best it's forced, at worst (aka when you go completely pacifist) it's completely out of left field and makes no sense. I understand that having multiple romance options was too much for the development team to handle, but surely there could have been an option for Markus to not be romantically involved with North? Sorry, it drives me up the wall... Other Options Flowchart

(Paul) Decline Markus's offer

(Paul) Be serious to North's probing. Be annoyed.

(Paul) Remain calm. Start shouting

Tags! @nightmarejim @septicart-appreciation

[callistawolf]

my thoughts on Arrow 6x18

I was excited for this episode and it turns out there was good reason. I might just start trusting Steve when he gets hyped over episodes now, he’s building quite a track record. So let’s dive in. I literally took these notes while I was watching so I apologize if they’re a bit scattered. 

Okay, Oliver is clearly off the rails. S1-2 suit and all. The man is a wrecking ball.

Wait…where’d he get the old suit? Did he break into evidence lockup? Is that why he’s at the precinct? I HAVE QUESTIONS.

Wait, the lockup didn’t blow up when Siren blew up the previous place did it? I HAVE QUESTIONS, DAMMIT.

Ten hours earlier. Okay. So we learn why he’s nuts. Is it the Vertigo? I bet it the Vertigo.

If anyone can find rock solid proof of crooked city employees, its Felicity.

BAD COP CASTLE. LOL. Felicity is right. He can’t go in alone. Cuz that’s just INSANE.

LOLOLOL. “I parent trapped you” BLESS YOU FELICITY. Yes, boys, get over your damn egos already.

“You keep that attitude you’re gonna end up all alone” LISTEN, don’t feed this boy’s fears, Dig!

Felicity KNOWS that Oliver is trying, DIGGLE. C’mon, man. FEEDING HIS FEARS. Stoppit!

“If I get impeached, you get promoted” OH SHIT, yeah if Oliver is impeached, Quentin is DEAD. You know what happens to mayors who aren’t Oliver in this town.

God bless Quentin being on his side. Saying all these nice things... Oh yeah the man is dead.

SHE HACKED NAPSTER FOR HER SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT LOL

RAISA AND FELICITY INTERACTED. There is a god! It’s been 84 years!

See I told y’all Felicity would have proof. Oh… but its implicating him. WAIT. STOP YELLING AT YOUR WIFE FOR HELPING YOU. Duuuuude.

Oh this scene. Yeah, he’s totally hallucinating this. 

The best part is that the writers have done such a MASTER JOB of writing characters OOC this season that we honestly can’t tell if Oliver is hallucinating or if this is something Felicity is REALLY saying

That said we SAW the Vertigo last ep folks. This isn’t rocket science.

What is that tapping noise he keeps hearing? Is that the Vertigo? The heralding of a hallucination?

“My wife wants a separation” DONT MAKE ME SOB, OLIVER. Also she so doesn’t. It’s so sad that he believes this, he EXPECTED this.

I find it touching that he chooses Quentin to confide in here. His subconscious is kinda beautiful sometimes. 

So he thinks he hasn’t changed at all? Or he doesn’t. Cuz Quentin is pep talking him but its HIM thinking this up… SHE LOVES YOU. YES SHE DOES. LISTEN TO YOUR FUCKED UP BRAIN, MAN. 

Going to the council meeting hopped up on Vertigo seems a bad idea. So is this a hallucination? Or not? HELP. I HAVE CONFUSION.

THERES THAT NOISE AGAIN

YEAH PROMETHEUS!! But… Oliver… SEE. HE’S DEAD. Get a clue here.

Damn Oliver’s subconscious is kicking his ass. LOL this is such a metaphor. I can’t deal.

So he kills Chase in his subconscious, something he’d evolved past before. But he wants to protect his family. LORD, Oliver you are fucked up.

THERES THAT NOISE AGAIN. Duuuuude I’m starting to wonder if *I’m* losing it. And Adrian. OK, Ollie. This is your clue here that you’re on Vertigo.

DING DING DING give the boy a cookie!

Chase trolling him is classic. I missed this guy so much. (And dude, you couldn’t manage to take ANYONE from him… Sam so doesn’t count)

I have to keep reminding myself this is Oliver’s subconscious.

“Felicity, William and I will be fine.” Of course you will. You’re family.

Interesting… “you’re a better Oliver Queen. But a worse hero.” HERE is the base of his worries. “You’re the one enemy you can’t defeat” Damn your brain is clever, Oliver. But also wrong. STOP HATING YOURSELF.

I MISS THE QUEEN MANSION. This living room isn’t QUITE right though. And fuckouttahere LL.You don’t even look REMOTELY like pre-island LL.

I love Chase literally listing all the reasons LL as BC was a Dumb Thing. 

So this is just convincing him he has to do go alone. If people fight with him, they get hurt. They die. Sometimes I think his protective instinct is too strong.

Awww hallucinating Raisa being killed by Dragon… that’s rough. Let’s not go there, show, okay?

SEE yes he wants to do it alone. Don’t listen to Vertigo!Hood, Oliver. The man is off his nut.

For a second there I thought Quentin said “We need to retweet” and I didn’t even think that was an off thing to say. I NEED A NAP.

Okay so the s1-2 suit itself is a hallucination. And it symbolizes his need to do it alone. GOTCHA. I’m all caught up now. Very clever.

Awww cute Felicity and William! She helped him put his project back together. But ohhhh no, she knows Oliver gone of the rails. “He said you kicked him out?” “No! I would never!” I KNEW IT.

LOL at William knowing exactly what Felicity is up to and bringing her sneakers. And holy cow he IS as tall as she is now!

OH NO DID YOU JUST HIT QUENTIN. I HOPE THAT WAS A HALLUCINATION.

RUN FELICITY RUN. Hey, that’s the backlot of the studios. LOL. Oh it WAS QUENTIN, not a hallucination. Oliver, you’re in big trouble.

She’s very brave, going after him when he’s like this. And awww at her talking him down. “What happens to William?” “William has you.” “What happens to ME?” BLESS.

“I’m glue, baby.” SHE CALLED HIM BABY. IM DYING.

Yes, listen to your wife. She’s your life partner. You can’t get rid of her. “Listen to your heart.” AWWW THIS IS SO SWEET.

YAY OLICITY STUNT! ITS BEEN 84 YEARS. Yep, I’m watching this whole thing again tomorrow (today, when this is posted)

Felicity went to raves. Felicity did drugs. ITS CANON. WRITE THE FICS, FANDOM. FELICITY MEETS OLIVER AT A RAVE.

So the suit is REAL? I have my questions again!! WHERE DID IT COME FROM.

I don’t like him going alone, but I DO like him saying that he’s not giving up on Felicity and William.

WELP there we go. Impeached. Saw that coming. Buncha boogers. Quentin is mayor! He’s toast.

Firing Overwatch. AWW. I mean I get why he’s doing it but… fighting Diaz alone is the opposite of what he needs to do. But I’m glad he’s apologizing to William.

AWW Felicity and William are most important to him! More than ANYTHING. I love this family.

Siren wants Diaz to kill Oliver… hows that redemption working for y’all? I can’t believe loliver is less toxic than Siren/Oliver. 😂

Okay, I have some more thoughts, especially now that I’ve had all night to think about this. So I’m throwing in a cut. 

While I’m not fond of Oliver choosing to go alone, I get why he’s doing it. It’s a plot point they’ve been angling towards, to be sure. But also I think they outlined why in this episode. Because what Dig said to him about being a poor leader has gotten to him and he really is wondering if it’s true. Things are piling up and what is falling by the wayside? What can he let fall by the wayside? One thing was made clear in this episode, what he cannot let fail is his family. Felicity, William... they are his priority above pretty much everything. He needs to save the city, absolutely, but not at the cost of his family. Oliver sees going alone as a way to save his family. Now, he’s wrong, of course. 

Remember all those interviews that have hinted at Oliver learning how to ask for help? How Emily herself has mentioned that? I think thats the big lesson here. He’s having a hard time juggling all his responsibilities, which means he has to learn how to relinquish control to others, to trust them to help him, to trust them to do what needs to be done to help him, to help the city. I’m willing to wager that in the weeks ahead, given what we’ve learned about the final eps of the season, the court case and all of that... that Felicity might be instrumental in organizing some help for Oliver. I think she might be the one to call in Human Target. But we shall see. 

But something else... Diaz wanted Oliver to fall for the trap but Felicity thwarted that. Felicity said that their identities are safe but LOL... There’s zero chance that Diaz won’t find out that she’s the one, the ONLY ONE who can pull Oliver back. So what happens to Felicity when Diaz realizes she the barrier between him and what he wants? 

What’s important here is that Oliver will do whatever he has to save his family, to keep William and Felicity safe. I think Felicity focuses on her company next week because she has to help, the mission is a part of her now, but I think eventually she’s going to push her way back onto Oliver’s team. Because he needs her. And maybe she’ll bring the rest of the team back together. But that’s all *~*later*~* because for now, things are gonna start getting sooooo very real in the weeks ahead and I’m really really really ready for it. 

[virmillion]

Arbitrary

Happy Birthday Patton technically a day early but hey thats fine because this is gonna be a choose your own ending story oops // when you get to the end, there’ll be two endings to choose from, so pick which you want to read, and it should hopefully link you to it, let me know if it doesnt work

Warnings: none, let me know if you have any

    Dads are known to have certain responsibilities to fulfill. Taking out the trash, being the ‘fun parent’ with the presents, being the loud sneezer, protecting their kids, you name it, dads probably do it. Patton is no different. Sure, he gets generalized to cracking jokes and baking cookies, but he really does try. He was the one that organized a second Christmas party when they realized Virgil was excluded from the first party. He was the one who ran all over town to find a bookstore with an exclusive copy of the book Logan insisted upon for his birthday. He was the one who set up three different cameras to record every single one of Roman’s performances since the boy could walk. All Patton really wanted was to make sure the other three were happy, four if you included Thomas, which he did, of course. He never asked for anything in return, as long as everybody around him was content.

    Maybe that’s why he’s off by himself now.

    He just emptied his soul out to put everyone else’s needs before his own, so why should he be surprised when no one noticed his own problems? Exactly. He shouldn’t be surprised. He should just smile through it, and pretend he isn’t upset that everyone forgot his birthday. Again.

    “Patton? You gonna make dinner?” A soft knock on his door. Roman.

    “Sure thing, kiddo!” Patton calls back, swiping a harsh fist over his eyes before turning to the small mirror on his dresser. The mirror Virgil decorated with purple and blue rocks. Years ago. No one seemed to care so much about making him gifts anymore. The stones shimmer in the golden glow of Patton’s room, distracting him from his own face. Skin mottled red from tear stains, cracked lips, an ever-furrowed brow. He shakes his head, drags his fingers over his cheeks a few times, and forces a smile. January fifteenth. Just another ordinary day. Nothing special, nothing important, nothing of note. An arbitrary day on an arbitrary calendar in an arbitrary life.

    Patton throws open his door, praying the dramatic flair will disguise from his quivering chest.

    “How’s spaghetti sound?” he calls into the living room, where the other three are draped over the couches. “I bought some stuff for those vegetable meatballs, it sounded interesting.” The most Patton receives in response is some non-committal grunts, not even a nod. Not even a word from Logan on how vegetarian meatballs shouldn’t technically be called meatballs. “Great.”

    In the kitchen, he lets his mind dissolve in the menial tasks of measuring and mixing, ignoring how salty some of it tastes. Not like his head is bent too far over the pot, or the water dripping from his eyes will affect the flavor. It’s like Virgil always says, right? Everything's better with a little bit of salt.

    Patton carefully ladles a considerable heaping of noodles onto four plates, drizzling the tomato sauce over top and stacking fake-meatballs on the rim. It’s not a long journey from the stove to the dining table, maybe fifteen paces, but it feels like fifteen miles. Everything feels like fifteen miles. Not that he’d ever say anything like that out loud. Fifteen. Arbitrary.

    “Dinner’s up!” he calls, bustling around the counters to clean up all the little splashes of sauce and sadness. A momentary pause to look inside himself, aghast. He hadn’t meant to think of the second word. He didn’t want to think of it. Too late now. Too little, too late, but what else is new?

    “Drinks?” Patton says to the congregating group as they shuffle to the table, staring down at phones and books and scripts. Disinterested shrugs, mumbles of water and sprite and coca cola. Patton grabs it all, plunking each bottle down before taking his own seat behind the smallest plate. The least food. There’s probably at least fifteen noodles on the plate, which is good. Enough to not starve. More noodles than words spoken at the table, to be sure.

    “So, how’s everyone’s day been?” he asks, bouncing his fork against the plate.

    “Reading.”

    “Tumblr.”

    “Auditions.”

    “Great.” He lets the silence take over once more, interrupted by the clinking of forks and the occasional slurp of a noodle. Maybe a disapproving glance for the noise. Nothing more.

    Fifteen minutes for four people to eat four plates of food with nine words exchanged. Disheartening, but not uncommon. They never seem to talk anymore, really. Just let words bounce around in their heads, never giving them voice or thinking the others will care to hear. Patton always loved hearing it, but evidently they didn’t love sharing. Unsurprising.

    “’Kay, I’m done. Thanks, Pat,” Virgil mumbles, pushing his chair back, his half-full plate staying where it is. He heads for his own room, shortly followed by Roman and Logan, none of whom supply excuses for abandoning Patton. Again. On an arbitrary day, just like any other. Why should he expect any different?

    Patton sets to work carefully putting away the dirty dishes, rinsing off the utensils and scraping the remains of the spaghetti into the garbage disposal. It screams at him as it crushes the food, chopping and shredding and crying and hating. Patton moves quicker.

    The television is still softly flickering in the other room, sharing sad news and upsetting stories and terrible developments, the usual. Across the bottom of the screen scrolls a number. January fifteenth. An arbitrary day. Patton digs a hand under the couch cushion for the remote, unflinching at the scattered crumbs from food long forgotten. From late night movies that the four sides used to marathon together. Not anymore. Stale food from stale memories. He clicks off the television, letting his eyes drift over the spinning block in the corner, proudly announcing the time. 6:36 at night. 18:36. The hour squared is the minute. The hour doubled is the minute. Fun number games Logan used to teach him, playing around with the numbers for no real reason beyond mindless entertainment. Not anymore. An arbitrary game with arbitrary numbers. Patton probably learned the word ‘arbitrary’ from Logan, in all honesty. Not surprising.

    Back in his own room, alone, Patton glances at the wall to the right of his door. While his room did have several nostalgia-related items when Thomas visited, it’s more organized than that when he’s alone. An entire shelf dedicated solely to candles from Roman, based around fond memories, lost to the winds of time. Patton lifts one gently from the shelf, from some holiday a few years back. Campfire donuts. Probably just a random Christmas gift at the last minute, its scent drowning in artificial sweetness. Manufactured. Arbitrary. Patton replaces the candle on the shelf.

    The shelf below has all the crafts the other three had ever given him, each loved greatly and held near to his heart. The tradition of making Patton presents had a severe drop off once the youtube videos started. Too busy with scripting ideas, recording, planning, socializing, anything that doesn’t have to do with wasting time making Patton happy. That’s Patton’s job anyway, right? Make the others happy? He shouldn’t have the audacity to expect that they return the favor. Not like they ever really did, to be fair. Patton trails his eyes over the raggedy stuffed animals, knit with shaky hands and zero aptitude for reading a pattern. A coloring book, filled with crude drawings scribbled over in crayon. Numerous sets of collectible pens, all from his favorite shows and books. Patton steps back from the shelf and leans against his bed, sliding to the floor. His shirt catches on the blanket, riding up and leaving his back exposed to the scratchy material. An arbitrary feeling to notice, really, but better than feeling nothing at all. After all, he should know something about bad feelings, right? He’s at the core of a lot of Thomas’s feelings. Might as well give him the bad ones, too. Not like he isn’t used to it. The clock ticks softly on his bedside table. A little silver analog trinket, given in the wake of his being late to some event or another. A gag gift, really. Tick tock, the witch is dead. Seven o’ clock. Nineteen hundred hours. Time sneaking away from him, without another knock at the door. Silent and alone, Patton’s head lolls back on his bed, drifting off to sleep. An arbitrary activity for an arbitrary person.

Dark | Warm

Tag list:

@sakurahayasaki @erlenmeyertrash @lemonpepperpizza @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @milomeepit @leesacrakon @virgilmood @pantasticpanini

[brokenhayatim]

exhale

idk how long this is gonna be but it goes a little something like this. you ever been so afraid of failing that you just procrastinate and avoid for so long? each day you tell yourself you’ll finally suck it up and push through but the fear and anxiety are almost so paralyzing you don’t even wanna go near the task.

i’s just been months..like maybe even five at this rate. i tell myself to start the clock the day i graduated but i know the truth. the last year-ish was my idkwhatimdoingwithmylifeohmygod era and i just thought i passed it with a bit more advice and options. but it’s like it was all almost pretty bubbles and they just popped so long ago that i’m lost and confused and afraid and nervous and all of that is so ridiculous, it embarrasses me. i’m not really that lazy but i say it to try and explain alot, i think. or i say that i’m just relaxing or something, when i know everyday my thoughts are always on this same thing and never being good enough to get through the rut. it wasnt till i was on a walk, voice memo-ing a friend and the anxiety just peeked through a bit and i was hearing my own thoughts aloud like ....thats true? and i’m told to not be afraid and to just let whatever happens happen if it’s best for me and i know that but i also dont?

everyday i constantly think about deleting every single social media app i’m on bc i feel this heavy weight of uselessness and incompetence. why couldn’t i have learned things like this person or been more out there like that person?what’s wrong with me? and i begin to rationalize it with my childhood and how i was raised and it never is fulfilling. it’s constantly not enough, nothing about me is. i’m not creative at all and what i can do, so many can do better and so why would anyone actually pick me? even the things and issues i’m passionate about, what do i really know? even my knowledge seems so below average and it’s confusing and stressful. i feel like if someone asked me a question about anything right now that i’ve just forgotten everything important and couldn’t even articulate a proper response. and i wanted to be an activist??? since i have to interview for jobs online now bc the pandemic it’s made me so nervous. i feel most in my element during in person interviews and i say that as someone that’s also awkward and nervous in the room. but i’m more anxious of the constant string of rejections i know i’m gonna receive now bc i can barely speak english and there’s nothing special about me at all. at least in person, i can smile and make it less weird. and i connect so much better that way, which loosens me up .000009% more. it’s really babyish i guess bc everyone is adjusting and i’m just not. and i thought i was with everything but i guess i really wasnt. and coming home everytime makes me fall back into this person i dont like ad i get so sluggish (my sister says its the trauma) and i dont know bc one day she’s waking up in florida and being a good semi productive human and the next she’s back in new york and its many low days and nerves. honestly the way this house sucks the life out of me, i dont even think i’d be good at any remote job. it’s kinda the reason half my brain is pushing the dead part bc i want to leave. be more self-sufficient and alone again. but where and how, you know? obvs im gonna need a job for that. it’s just this domino effect and i’m scared to push the first one and it’s annoying and i hate it goddaammit.  the moment i came home, i just have always felt unworthy and other to my family. like they don;t care, like they’re not proud, like i’ve done nothing these past years and that’s my fault for not being an open book like the rest.

i’m gonna have to edit this bc i will not remember 87 months worth of pandemic thoughts into this post right now but. i tell myself i came home and decided to take a break for a bit, or focused on my health and appointments, but really..i dont know. i think i say it to justify all these hollow days of disappointment, which it never does. i’m afraid to ask for help or even a nice job recommendation from my last employer bc all i can think about is that it’s been months and what have i been doing this whole time? and i think they’ll ask that or think ??? now ??? and i get in my head. i know its not illogical and the worst anyone can say is no and yada yada but ugh this is why i hate my mind and just overthinking ... or not thinking?? who knows. i’m constantly letting myself down but .., i dont want anyone to know that. does that make sense. maybe i have this need to be superficial and make my life seem so nice and good and right bc i never see myself as that and i worry of people’s opinions and crave affirmations. 

the first appt i had coming home was my neurosurgeon one and my dad and him sort of just had this rushed timeline in their heads of how i would go into the ER one day soon and bam its done. i didnt wanna think about that so i tried to focus on my job stuff .. then got stressed so i just started scheduling the appointments i needed. then stopped and did more work stuff. then the secretary called me like ???? u havent done these exams yet and i was like yeah uhhh. bc when i do them it’s one step closer to doing the surgery and i know i want the surgery i’m just getting in my head again and don’t want it to be now. my sister told me to make sure i let her know when i choose a date and i was like mhm i wanna finish the job stuff and get my life sorted first and she was just ???? what ?? this is clearly more important. but here’s the kicker. i went on a walk the other day and just cried coming to terms with it all bc honestly i still dream of not making it out alive and a part of me thinks, at least if i did this one thing right and found a job and all that, that it would okay what happens next. like at least i was successful in that one thing. i think about how unworthy and unproud i am of myself and for months now, just felt like this would be a beautifully cowardice way out. and i think about the after, and cant even imagine strong devastation and sorrow. is that strange? like i expect everyone to just go on. bc i’m a simple buffer with no real purpose left. i walk and think about dreams and hopes and what i would miss and just one thing that make me call this entire fantasy completely insane and i just draw blank. so i cry because, of course. this fantasy isn’t new either, since last year i’ve been speaking to my therapist and writing about it. we would speak of suicide and i always respond like that’s a huge no bc of my religion but i say, i think about if something went wrong and that was it, how i want it to be like that. take the pressure, take the blame, take it all off me in a way. and some days i’m scared that i’ll wake up in the hospital bed after and be in pain and coddled and annoyed by the attention i’m only getting bc of that pain. and i dont want you to be here just because of the pain but i feel like you’re here only because of that. that you came, that you’re seeing me, that you care only because of it. so what am i without it? just back to nothing? the headaches were lonely but i feel less lonely with this diagnosis, like i have something good about me, worthy about me. something that makes me important to someone, even if it’s the neurologist that wants my money. to be real, i dont even think i care about the pain leaving as much as the fact that i can’t label myself as this person with chronic pain. like even if i was cured and oo lala all better, a part of me would still want to have this neuro condition. like ?? i was thinking: imagine beating cancer and feeling better but wanting to say .. and then realized the key difference. with that you survive, you are survivor. even if it’s gone that who you are. when this leaves me, i’m nothing and i’ll just go back to being nothing. no one says u survived brain surgery or survived a brain condition. it’s just done and forgotten. there’s nothing exciting about my life other than my mri visits i swear. i decided to do the surgery bc it would be stupid of me not to, and i’m still holding back, still unsure of even a set month. i just know i didnt want to follow covid rules of 1 visitor bc i know it would be one of my parents and i would jump out the window myself. but covid isnt rlly going away so is that the best excuse i have? i havent thought past these appointments and its almost like im doing it all for the wrong reasons, like enjoying it rather than wanting it to help me. i dont know.

unrelated but a song that always makes me cry and is actually the song i was listening to when i had that panic attack on the plane: finally by james arthur around 2:30. always brings out the hollowness in me hm.

**** i’m coming back to this but i got all my plaguing thoughts outish so