#thats not a good description of the fic btw
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freakurodani · 2 years ago
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Dad: so what have u been up to kiddo?
Me: oh well, I've spent some time reading today!
Dad: oh yeah, whatcha reading?
Me: *desperately coming up with away to explain away this fic where kageyama was cursed to be a cat and learns to rely on other people (and falls in love)*
Me: um... well, hmm, a short story thats like if metamorphosis was a romcom
Dad: huh, well ... alright then
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corvidares · 8 months ago
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you know what, i've sent this list to a couple friends at this point so i might as well make it a post -
ACE ATTORNEY FIC RECOMMENDATIONS!
(all mostly sfw) (i'll make a separate list of nsfw ones) in no particular order, besides the first few!
Pressure (pushing down on me) - genuinely the best ace attorney fic i've read. between the characterization, expansion of plotbeats, the prose, etc. Pressure elaborates on and reinterprets canon scenes taking place in the main trilogy. Obviously narumitsu flavored. CANNOT RECOMMEND THIS ENOUGH.
Kindred - my FAVORITE, genuinely a comfort fic i've reread at least three times. miles adopts Pess, a borzoi dog tied to a murder case. very narumitsu flavored
Indefensible - also HIGH up there as a favorite, a very robust murder case with fantastic characterization across the board. it's got narumitsu, it's got franmaya, it's got drama. everything you need. there IS a few sex scenes, but the author warns you in the chapter descriptions if thats not your thing.
continued....
take it like a man - light angst centered on phoenix, and suit shopping. it's good
New Digs - really well written oneshot highlighting maya's ptsd, which we don't do enough of as a fandom btw
you still love him (but she does too) - classic case 3-5 hospital scene, very beautifully written
i didn't know how so we took it in turns (to my surprise we found my words) - narumitsu hurt/comfort focused on miles' ptsd
the soul truth (and nothing but the the truth) - FRANMAYA CENTRIC MULTI CHAPTER!!! WOOHOO. a really very good case fic :]
Triple Blind Taste Test - this is a oneshot about fran being autistic and struggling with food texture, which makes Me Personally feel very seen
to know gifts given - miles and pearl bonding, very cute :'D
the patience of little great things - trucy sickfic, miles does the Most to help phoenix take care of her.
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quantum1mmortality · 2 years ago
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Wiggity wack yo(🍋Crewel x Fem! Reader x Sam🍋)
Real not click bait
OKAY AHHHHH so I was told by my boyfriend that tumblr is gonna think im a bot for a bit I can assure you I'm not so im offering this for peace
Okay uhm now back to the fic LOLO
♧CW!! Fem reader, fem pronouns, fem descriptions for body parts, sex with older sexy men yummy, READER IS NOT YUU!!!, reader is like staff or some shit idk make your own shit up i dont care, penis stuff, what stuff? Idk yet your guess is as good as mine, anal AND vagina sex, at the same time btw, threesome or however you spell it M/M/F, yeah you're getting them both at the same time crazy shit ik, I can take them both, what? In a fight? Who said anything about a fight? We get praised, bc my biggest kink is being loved, I love these two, im used to Ao3 im so sorry for how this is formatted, also I hella ship crewel x sam and they will be together in this fic dont you dare think they won't.
Okay so yeah the CW does have a lot of jokes in it but im nervous bc this is my first fic thats like this but it does have actual warnings btw so please read them
NOT PROOFREAD!!!
Okay now onto the fic. Enjoy, you horny goblin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~
♧It had been two months since you came to NRC for the first time.
Crowley hired you to be a counselor for the boys in the school. He decided that having a housewarden overbolt every so often wasn't worth the trouble and they needed a shoulder to cry on. And that just so happened to be you.
Crowley had made it apparent he wanted you, telling the agency you worked with that it had something to do with "women being better at comprehending emotion." You didn't mind, the pay was generous and the students were sweet enough to make you want to stay.
You already met most of the students by now, having all the housewardens in every other day just to express their family issues was something you had to deal with. Having the vice housewardens in afterwards wasn't very pleasurable either, but you had to make do. Sometimes Crowley would come in just to see how things were going, he'd say it was to "be generous", he brought you food Sometimes too.
You found yourself getting very close to the married couple of the school, Sam and Crewel. They were very sweet to you, complementing your style when you'd come in, hang out with you during break, Crewel would even bring you snacks from Sam's shop when he had the chance. You would hang out with them a lot, and though you didn't want to admit it, you did find both of them attractive, but you would never hurt their marriage.
Every once in a while, Crewel and Sam invited you over to their house. You'd have drinks, play games, get into really deep conversations about how Crowley sucked, the things friends do.
You didn't want to admit your feelings. You didn't want to admit how you'd slightly blushing when they were being nicer than usual. You didn't want to admit how your heart would beat out of its chest when Crewel would stand behind you, snaking his hands over yours to guide them to teach you how to make a margarita. You didn't want to admit how you'd get so excited when Sam would willingly buy your favorite snacks and have Crewel deliver them to you. It wasn't worth losing two amazing friends over two simple crushes.
You had just gotten done a long day of counseling all the first years, Ace and Deuce to get their counseling together. It was just as hectic as it sounded, taking up almost 4 hours of your time with other students coming and leaving when they realized how long the wait would be. You needed a way to relax and get your mind off this job. Luckily, Crewel came into your office at the end of the day and invited you over for drinks.
This was the perfect stress reliever, hanging out with your two amazing friends and having drinks sounded perfect after a long day. Crewel quickly noticed how tired you were, your disheveled appearance quaking from the little sleep you had. He decided to schedule the meet up for later in the day so you'd get some sleep beforehand. "We don't want you falling asleep on us, now do we?" Crewel gives you a small chuckle and a wink before bidding his goodbye and leaving.
Getting up from your chair with an exhausted sigh, you pack your notes into your bag and leave your office, locking the door behind you. Crowley said to always lock your office when you aren't there, something about the students being nosy and may snoop around. It didn't matter though, it was the end of the school day and the start of the weekend, who would spend their Friday snooping around in a counselors office?
Finally getting to the chamber room and walking through the mirror, you're at the part of campus where all the staff lives. Medium sized houses in a nice circle with Treins house being the biggest and in the middle. Unlocking your front door, you sigh and take off your jacket while laying your keys down on the table next to the door. Going upstairs and into your room, you take your bra and skirt off, climbing into bed after setting an alarm.
Crewel was nice enough to set the meet up back a few hours, scheduling it for 10. Giving you a nice 4 and a half hours to catch up on much needed sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After being asleep for around 4 hours, you awoke to your alarm going off. It was 9:25, giving you 30 minutes to get ready.
Getting out of bed you hop into the shower to get washed up. Using the lovely sugar scrubs you usually do and washing your (H/L) (H/C) hair with a wonderful smelling shampoo and conditioner. Getting out of the shower, blow drying your hair and figuring out what to wear.
You finally decided on a nice (F/C) dress, not too skin tight, but leaving enough to the imagination to make it desirable. Luckily it wasn't out of the ordinary for you to wear something like this, so they wouldn't think anything of it.
It was getting to the time of leaving, so you quickly pack your things and head out. Closing the door behind you, you walk across the empty street and make it to their door. Since they lived in the same house, you would often catch them walking out early in the morning. It was convenient to say the least.
Knocking three times before the door opens with enthusiasm, you're greeted with Crewels smiling face as he greets you. He holds the door open as you walk in, taking your bag and coat off and putting them on the hangers near the door. Sam greets you from the kitchen, beckoning you to come and see him.
When you do, he has a bunch of machinery on the counter. "Sam used to be a barista before he started working here. He stopped a long time ago, but his love for coffee didn't. We decided to invest in some machinery to indulge in his hobby. Expensive, but worth it to see him happy." Crewel says as he walks behind you and gives you a smile.
"I've always loved working with coffee, the pure smell alone is enough to drive a man, me, wild. Come here, I'll show you have to work an expresso machine!" Sam says with a huge smile on his face. Something tells you alcohol isn't being involved tonight, perhaps its for the better.
Walking over to Sam he steps behind you and guides your hands to the different cups and powders to make a shot of expresso. Did Crewel and Sam always have similar ways of teaching? They aren't like this to the other staff..
After making the expresso, Sam grabs some coffee he brewed earlier. Pouring it into a mug and the expresso on top, he starts the foam art. Watching him pour the foam in different directions was almost mesmerizing, and soon enough, you had a little foam kitty! How cute!
Sam had finished his and Crewels coffee and you sat down at the coffee table with them. They were silent, more than usual. Their eyes would dart across the room, occasionally landing on you but quickly shifting focus. It seemed as though they wanted to say something, but couldn't figure out how to put it.
"Is something wrong? You guys are awfully silent tonight, I hope I didn't upset you in anyway-" you trailed off, trying to figure out what was going on.
"No, no! Its not you at all!" They both practically shouted while jumping from their chairs, spilling some coffee in the process. Grabbing some tissues and sitting down, they clean themselves up.
"Look, we've been meaning to ask you something- its just- we don't know how to exactly ask about it." Sam says, Crewel still trying to dab some coffee off of the vest hes wearing.
"We think that, maybe, we can open our marriage, but, just to you. We want to try things with you, see what we like, experiment a little." Crewel adds with flushed cheeks. He must be pretty nervous about this.
Sam takes a nervous sip of his coffee before continuing on what Crewel had just stated. "We trust you. We think that you're the only person that could be fit for this, and we're willing to help you explore that side of you. The 'nastier' side, so I've heard the kids say."
Well that was a lot to take in, a bit too much actually. You had felt your entire face heat up as you realized what they meant. A sort of rush of adrenaline creep in. Was this actually happening? You've wanted it bad since you first met them, but you never thought it would actually happen.
Sam and Crewel looked at you as you completely space out. You could feel the tension in the air, their stares getting impatient as their cheeks formed new colors you'd never seen on them.
"We completely understand if you don't want to do this, we won't force you into anyth-" Crewel chimed in after deciding the silence was too much, but was then swiftly cut off.
"I'll do it. I mean- I want to, that is. I've been wanting to, I just didn't want to make you guys uncomfortable. I mean, you're always so sweet to me, I thought we just had something platonic going on, but I had no clue you guys felt the same." You say while practically being out of breath. Pressing your thighs together as an instinct, Crewel quickly switches his gaze to a lovely house plant as his cheeks heat up more.
"Are you sure you want to do this? We'd never force you into anything, but we do want your full consent." Sam practically sighs out. Crewel is still red, but now is occasionally sparing glances at you.
"Yes, im sure. You may do whatever you please." Chuckling, you say with a smile directed to them. Sam gives you a soft smile while Crewel stands up from his chair.
"I'll get everything situated. Sam, if you want to take her into the bedroom and get her situated, that would be appreciated, I'll be in as soon as I'm done getting everything ready." Crewel says while walking out of the room, giving you both a wink on the way out.
"Alrighty then! Let's get you ready!" Sam yells while taking your hand and leading you to the bedroom. When you walk in, you take in the beautiful scenery. Large king sized bed, beautiful red curtains, their bedroom is huge! "Dont be intimidated, Crowley decided to give us extra space. He says we're his 'little gay friends.' We're not even completely gay! Wiggity wack, yo!"
You were so grateful that Sam knew how to break the silence and make you comfortable you didn't even notice he had left your side to go to one of their personal cabinets. "We had been planning this for awhile, we just didn't want to scare you away is all. Crewel and I had picked up a few sets of lingerie for you. You can try them on while we wait for him to get back! No pressure of course. I just figured you may not have expected something like this to happen and you wanted to change into something more... fitting... for the occasion."
Then, it hit you. You were wearing such normal panties, it hurt! Shame on you, shame on you!
Going to the cabinet, you skimmed through the sets of lingerie. None really caught your eye, until you landed on a lacy white two peice with pearly accents. Sexy, baby!
"Oh, you like that one? Thats Crewels favorite. Hes gonna go batshit crazy if he sees you in that! Personally I dont give a shit what you're wearing, you'll be naked and in my arms by the end of the night so it doesn't matter." He says with a smug look on his face. Was that... a threat? Why was it sexy for him to say if it was? He was leaning with his arms crossed on the cabinet, looking for any sign that you were uncomfortable. They really were putting your needs above theirs.
"Go! Try it on! I wanna see Crewels face when he comes back!" He lightly shooshes you away with a hearty laugh that made your cheeks red. After showing you to the bathroom, he leaves you to the privacy of the semi cold, hard floor room. Getting changed, you heard the door open and Crewel walk in. Sam and him were talking about something you just couldn't hear what. Putting the panties to the lingerie set on, you had realized they untied at the sides. How convenient! Stepping outside, you felt their eyes practically rip you apart.
"Hot diggity dog! I'm so sorry, that sounded so weird oh my god." Sam slaps his face before cupping his eyes in embarrassment. Crewel sent him a death glare before looking back at you with wide eyes and completely red cheeks.
"Uhm.. we should uh.. go over safety precautions. Our safeword is going to be, 'blue', understood?" Crewels voice was shaky and he was clearly avoiding your gaze, but he did sound serious. Shaking your head yes, he continues. "Alright. Remember, any time you get uncomfortable, or you want to stop, or anything, just say the safeword and we'll stop immediately. As for everything else, I got some things for us. Just to make everything a smoother process is all. Lube, vibrators, simply just things to have your body relax. As for protection, both Sam and I can't have kids. In our defense we didn't think something like this would happen."
"In short, you're gonna be fine. We'll make sure you're treated nice and good, don't worry. Crewel and I are, as the kids would say, 'freaks in the sheets', but we'll wait until later dates to actually try those things with you. If you're comfortable, that is." Sam smiles at you. It was comforting to see all the precautions they're taking.
"I'm okay with anything really, I mean, I dont have very much experience but im willing to try things out! It's just, im a bit nervous is all.." Sam looks at you as though he's seen something so otherworldly gorgeous he can't explain it, and he gently takes your hands.
"Hey, dont be scared, okay? We'll go as slow as you want, and if at anytime you want to stop we will. We just want you to have a good time." Sam winks as he gives your hands a gently squeeze of reassurance. Crewel was silently taking off his coat all the while looking at the way the lingerie was hugging your body. Blush was covering your cheeks as you take your hands out of sams grasp and cup them together in a nervous fashion.
"Thanks.. its just this outfit im wearing is starting to be a bit uncomfortable." You say while looking away from their prying eyes.
"Well let's take it off then." Crewel says with a grin on his face while making eye contact.
"Mhm. I agree. If its making you so uncomfortable we should take it off." Sam says while giving you his signature grin. He takes your hand and leads you to their shared bed, sitting you on his lap in the middle of the comfortable mattress. Crewel followed and crawled towards the two of you, while landing front of you and spreading your legs gently.
Sam slowly leans into the crook of your neck, "I'm gonna take these off, okay?" He whispers in your ear as he places the strings of your panties in his fingers. Nodding in agreement, he gives the shell of your ear a soft nip, earning a small yelp from you, making the men giggle.
He slowly takes his fingers and pulls on the drawstrings, Crewel in front of you, watching in anticipation. Shyness taking over, you instinctively shut your legs close when Sam begins to take the peice of loose fabric off.
Crewel places one hand on your inner thigh and pries them open, clicking his tongue while shaking his head in light hearted dissapointment. "Ah-ah, no hiding sweetheart, cmon, you'll be begging to be touched more by the end of the night, we have to start somewhere, dont we?" Crewels voice was laced with last, you had never heard him act like this before, but God you wanted more.
You you began to crawl up Sams lap in a stroke of nervousness, to which he only gave a soft smile at. "You'll be a good girl for Divus, wont you? You'll be so good for him, let him eat you out, right?" Sam says from behind you in a teasing tone, while Crewel waited patiently for your response. Nodding yes, Crewel dove between your legs like a starved man.
A loud moan escapes your lips from the sudden burst of pleasure, earning a chuckle from the man behind you. Placing both hands on Sam's thighs in an attempt to keep your balance, you only ended up digging your fingernails into his skin. Leaving harsh, painful nail marks on his legs, Sam groans at the sudden pain. He takes his hand, interlocking it in Crewels hair and pulling him forward so he can reach deeper parts of you. You moan loudly at Crewel being able to hit spots no one else could, and Sam takes his hand out of Crewels hair and places two fingers on your clit, making circular motions with light pressure.
With all the stimulation, it doesn't take long for you to cum, which you do with a loud moan. Crewel licks all of your juices up and swallow them in a single motion. "Delicious, as expected." He says as he softly caresses your cheek for comfort. Sam begins to rub slow circles into the flesh of your thigh, giving them light pinches every word often.
Crewel begins to unbuckle his belt with one hand, the other still stroking your cheek. "Are you alright with taking us both at the same time? Its alright if not, we can take turns if you'd like." Crewel makes eye contact with you as he asks, making you swallow hard in anxiety. As you begin to think, Sam lays his head in the crook of your neck in anticipation.
"I'm alright with taking you both at the same time, its just please be slow, im a little scared is all... this is my first time doing something like this..." you say as a small chuckle comes from them both. "Of course we'd be slow silly! You're our main priority, so we just want to make you comfortable." Sam says as he kisses your neck and slowly retreats from his resting place on your shoulder.
"I'd suggest you prepare her for... well, anal. You're alright with that, right?" Crewel asks with concern in his eyes. Now THIS was something you didn't expect tonight, but not unwelcome.
"I'm okay with it! But please, please be gentle, I've never done this before." You say as you look behind you at Sam. He gives you a smile before ruffling your hair. "I know I know, I'll be gentle I swear." He says as he begins to let his slender fingers roam to you ass. "Get ready, okay? This is gonna feel weird and possibly hurt for a minute, but it'll get better."
Taking a deep breath, you nod your head. Sam takes one finger and begins to slowly inch his way in, letting you stretch out. You slowly grown out at the alien feeling, gripping Sam's thighs harder than you were before.
He begins to curl his finger in you, slipping in another one as you start to loosen up more. Crewel could sense the way it hurt, he leaned down and started kissing and rubbing your thighs gently, hoping it would help you ease.
Sam could feel you loosen from this, to the point he was able to slip a third finger in, earning a moan from you. He began to curl his fingers upwards as he kissed and sucked on the sensitive skin of your neck. With the stimulation, you ended up cumming after a few minutes.
As Crewel lapped up your juices again, but gently this time as to not overstimulate you, Sam began to praise you more. "Look at you, doing so good for us, taking us so well. I cant wait to have you coming undone on us." Sam said as he placed a light kiss on your cheek.
Crewel took the rest of his clothes off, leaving him in just his boxers, letting you stare in awe at how well built he was. He took your hand and let you sit in his lap. "Just a second doll, Sam needs to undress himself." He says as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, placing sweet kisses on it. After a minute, Sam was done and was also in just his boxers, guiding you back onto his lap.
"Which hole ya wanna take? Rock paper scissors? No, thats too cliche.." Sam rambles on. "I'm fine with whatever, what do you want, y/n?" Crewel tags into the conversation as he scoots closer to the two of you, holding your waist in the process.
"I'm okay with the position we're in right now, with you being in the front, Sam in the back.. it seems fine like this." The men smile at how genuine you're being, voicing your concerns, ect. Its cute to them. They nod and hum in agreement as Crewel grabs a bottle of lube.
"I reckon I won't have to use this as much as you will, Sam. Take it slow, hurt her and I'll beat the shit out of you." Crewel says with a smile on his face, sort of whispering that last part.
"I am gentle! I'm always gentle, some would even call me a gentleman!" Sam says with a playful scowl, taking the bottle from him. You begin to giggle as you see Crewel slowly take off his boxers, reveling his already, very hard member.
"Sorry love, you looked too cute, couldn't help it, yknow?" He says, giving you a wink as his breath speeds up. You feel Sam shifting under you and you feel him take off his boxers, throwing them to the side.
Oh no, they're both huge! Crewels is long, around 7-8.5 with reasonable girth, while Sams is 6.5 and a lot thicker. How are you gonna take them both at once?
"I know what you're thinking, you'll be alright. We'll take it slow, build up speed with time." Sam says as he places a quick kiss on your temple. He squeezes the lube on his hand, rubbing it together to warm it up before putting it on his cock. Earning a hiss from him, he sighs and places both hands on your waist. Lifting your body up, both him and Crewel line themselves with your holes, and wait for your confirmation.
Placing both hands on Crewels shoulders, you nod your head before they begin to slowly sink themselves into you, stretching you out more in the process. Moans from all three of you fill the room as they lower you down more and more.
Once they are fully in, they both huddle close to your body, singing you praise after praise as they wait for you to let them move. After a few minutes pf being out of breath and simply just panting you give them the go ahead.
"You can move, I'm okay now." And with that, they pull their torsos away from you and place their hands on your waist. Starting at a slow pace for you to get used to it, they slowly and gradually add more speed as they both bounce you on their cocks.
Sam rests his head on your shoulder, panting in your ear as his grip on you tighten and his muscles tense. Crewel doing the same, but while bouncing you, he begins to thrust upwards when you come down to make a larger impact, earning a loud moan that makes you tense around them.
Ssm gets jealous of how Crewel seems to be fucking you better, so he starts to do the same, meeting his thrusts with your timing. You were all moaning messes and by the looks of it, none of you could last very long.
Sam grits his teeth as his hands make their way to your tits, softly squeezing and pinching them. Crewel let's his hands wander to your pussy, taking his thumb and rubbing circles on your clit. You dont last long after they begin to do this, and cum for the third time this night, riding out your high as Sam and Crewel chase theirs.
You can feel Sams breath speed up and grow more hoarse as his grip on your thighs and breast slightly tighten. "Shit shit shi-" a loud groan erupted from his chest as he spills his seed in you. Crewel falling seconds after, cumming in you as he thrusts upwards, keeping it in.
You all lay on the bed for a few seconds, basking in eachothers presence while catching your breath. Crewel slowly pulls out, earning a whince from you. He walks into the bathroom and comes back seconds later with a wash cloth.
"Cmon Sam, you gotta get out." Crewel says as he looks at him, with a whine Sam pulls out too, letting both their juices spill out of you. "Such a good girl for us, keeping all our cum in her. You did so well for us dear." Crewel says as he cleans you up. Lightly dabbing the cloth on your now sensitive areas, he softly chuckles at the way your body reacts.
Sam walks to the other side of the room, going into a small fridge and grabbing three waters and a few snacks. "I've got waters for all of us and some chocolates for the girl of the hour." He says with a wink. Crewel is done cleaning you and goes to throw the soiled towel in a wash basket as Sam opens your water and chocolates.
Replenishing your thirst and munching on the surprisingly delicious chocolates, Sam picks you up unexpectedly and moves you to the front of the bed. "What, you didn't think we were gonna kick you out after this, did you?" Crewel says chuckling as he comes back from being in the bathroom.
"Honestly, im not sure what to expect from you guys anymore." You say with a chuckle. Both men chuckle aswell as they make it into bed with you, sandwiching you between them. Shifting the pillows and blankets around until you're all comfortable, you lay in a comfortable silence.
As you all say your goodnights as the lights in the room turn off, you can't help but think of what situation you're in. Having two men who just fucked you into oblivion now cuddling you goodnight? You could get used to this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: im lorde yaya im lorde yaya
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mqole · 1 year ago
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hbjhkgvhj ok here are uh. some character designs i did abt a year ago
these are all based on the incredible @kayzero's fic zero win game, which is a rewrite of ztd with akane as the protagonist, and it has possibly THE BEST characterization of akane ive ever read- listen just. just go read it you will be enriched i promise.
im not putting an image description bc i dont know where to start (sorry!!) BUT ill put a bunch of character design notes below the cut for people who are insane like me <3333
ok first of all. i know when i sent these to kay the other day they said there were some details canon to zwg that i missed (akane's lil hoodie pocket, aoi wearing white to contrast junpei's black (which is SO inspired btw.)) so just. PRETEND those are there bc i forgor <3
i spent the most time on sigma, phi, akane, junpei and aoi just because they've had multiple iterations of designs. it was fun to take bits and pieces from each version of them, so thats why they get a feature page
you can see a lot of my little pink notes with criticisms of the ztd designs there. in general, i really dont like the ztd designs, they all feel unnaturally bland to me (although thats probably also the artstyle).
most people whove looked into the colour symbolism in zero escape are probably familiar with the whole red/blue thing: that is, theyre colours representing the morphogenetic field. akane and aoi are the most obvious examples of this. 'aka' means red, and 'ao' means blue. in the first nonary game, akane and clover wear red - the colour for transmitters - and aoi and light wear blue, the colour for recievers. in 999 proper, akane wears purple, to symbolise how she can recieve AND transmit, while junpei wears red and blue by themselves. you can do a whole analysis of these colours and i will not put it here thats a whole SEPERATE post
anyway! the actual designs!! i'll start with sigma. i wanted to reconcile his vlr design with zero ii's design, and initially i planned on giving him a coat, but it didnt really have a nice silhouette, so i ditched that idea. instead, i turned his jumpsuit from vlr into a polo shirt - much like what he has in ztd - and gave him some zero-y accessories: the white turtleneck, the belt and the gloves all come from zero's design. once id included the white turtleneck, making the pants white felt really logical. in character design, its generally best to limit the palette of colours as much as you can, so it was a good excuse to reuse a colour while also paying homage to his ztd design. i also cut his hair bc hes a scientist and he'd do that.
phi's design is a lot more like her vlr one than her ztd design. the blue coat was her hallmark accessory, and im shocked that they ditched it for ztd, so i gave it back - along with her boots and hair accessory. i kept her pants and glasses from ztd, as well as the way the bottom of her shirt is tucked into her pants. they just have a much nicer silhouette to me. between my first pass of colours and my second pass, phi's colours changed the most - i realised i had too many blue guys in the lineup, and wanted to make the colours stand out individually. so i leaned into phi's orange-ness. giving her hair accessory, pants and boots an orange hue instead of a blue one, as well as shifting her coat to a more teal colour really helped make those colours pop.
AKANE MY BESTIE!!!! her design was probably the one i had the most fun with. i basically just took her ztd design and purpled it. I did want to include some more details though - her neck scarf was in both her 999 AND vlr design, so it felt wrong not to include it. i also added some gold highlights to her design, just to complement the purple - her boots are also toned yellow, so it felt fitting. the cut of her sleeves, as well as her hair, felt really natural: i gave her the side ponytail from ztd, while letting more of her hair fall to the side to retain her silhouette from 999. i stole the sleeves wholesale from vlr akane, but can you blame me. look at that robe. its so pretty.
overall i have mixed feelings on ztd junpei as a character, but i think his darker turn is at the very least a fun direction to take him. I do like the jacket he has in his concept art. IT SURE WOULD BE NICE IF THE MODEL ALSO HAD A JACKET. his design went relatively unchanged overall, i basically just retoned his hair, gave him a button-up instead of a t-shirt, and puffered his jacket. the red and blue from his vest in 999 is reused here, but in darker, more muted tones. you can see in the corner of the drawing i played around with swapping the red and blue, but the red focus felt too edgy for junpei. the blue also pops really nicely against his dark clothes, so i kept it.
anyone who has spoken to me for more than ten seconds will know how insane i am about aoi kurashiki i mean come on my name is santa. i think a lot about his two designs: that of the first nonary game and in 999. in the first nonary game he wears a blue scarf, harkening to his role as a reciever, but in 999 he wears monochrome. my personal interpretation of this is that his 999 fit was him purposefully disguising his connection to the morphogenetic field. so post-999, since he doesnt have to worry about that, i gave him his blue back!!! his general fit is the same- his pants and shoes are artistry so obviously i kept those, and i ended up making the rest of his look black to contrast his 999 design. if i were to redesign him now wearing white, id probably go a different direction altogether. that third little drawing ive included has some test outfits for him, carlos, and maria, but i never really went anywhere with them. also i gave him dark roots to show his relation to akane a bit more. and also because i like projecting my roots always grow back SO fast
that brings us to the 4 characters introduced after vlr: carlos, mira, diana, and... maria??? yeah like i said go read zero win game. do it. maria is such a fun character. she was, coincidentally, ALSO the only character where i had to design someone from scratch. you can see i fiddled a little with colour palettes, trying to figure out how to give every character a unique look. diana and carlos' designs actually go almost unchanged here- i think dianas design in particular is actually pretty great, and works as a nice foil to luna in vlr. carlos is just kind of normal. he can have his silly polo shirt.
miras ztd design is. ugh ok look its FINE but i hate the boobie designs in zero escape because they always feel like they were designed seperately from the character. mira in zwg is still a sussy baka, but she's a lot more cordial- i enjoyed seeing her more as a snake lying in the grass. I ended up giving her green because its a fun colour to give characters who youre meant to distrust. SO MANY TIMES reading zwg i was like "oh maybe mira's chill - oh wait maybe shes not - oh wait maybe shes chill again" and i love her for that honestly. she still gets boobies because i love women but i gave her a fun little long sleeved corset top. the amount of skin she shows directly correlates to the amount you should trust her (i am only half joking.)
i wont talk about diana because honestly the only change i made was giving her a little blue strip at the bottom of her skirt, but i'll talk about maria and carlos together. carlos i kept as a little pink boy because i love him and i love pink and listen its my character design ill do what i want. maria in ztd AND in zwg experiences reverie syndrome, which is connected to the morphogenetic field. her and carlos' designs both incorporate red and blue again- (just realised diana also has red and blue. pretend that was intentional) -to show their connection to the field. yes yes i know its pink but listen its red enough. like aoi, i gave maria and carlos both different iterations of their designs. i'm less sold on carlos', but i did actually like the baggier, heavy designs for maria. with those ones she looks more depressed than she does wearing overalls, so im calling that a win. maria's was the design i was least satisfied with overall, but hey i did these like a year and a half ago and ive gotten much better since then soo.
if youve read this far this is once again a reminder to read zero win game by kayzero on ao3
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starshifter · 22 days ago
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Here's my little write up of the system drama that Blade doesn't care about. Just in case any readers are curious.
The Suthi system:
So Huth and the other planet that had an intelligent species on it, Suthi, have a long and complicated history.
Suthi, occupied by the Ziva, who are vampires (don’t ask. This planet system was originally designed for another fandom… I just didn’t have a fic to use it for, so I stole it. I world build for fun, okay.), has treated the Chèvren like cattle for a large part of their shared history. The Suthi hit space age first, so they won that little war between planets.
As such, their language is now the native tongue. I based their language on Etruscan and the Chèvren’s on French (as I’m sure many have noticed). (This is again due to the original fandom. ….it was witcher btw. This is all Blood and Wine’s fault. The higher vampires fascinated me and they used Etruscan for them.)
There have been a lot of rebellions and attempts at changing things over the centuries. Progress has been made, so the Chèvren have a lot more rights now, but it’s still far from perfect. There was a lot of terrible shit being done to the Chèvren with little to no consequence if the perpetrator was Ziva. One of these ongoing rebellions led into the formation of the extremist group that Culseva (Tabbeau, as he went by at the time) and Renais (Sren, as he was named in the language the Ziva use) led. When I say extremist, I mean firefights in the streets kind of thing. They had their supporters and their detractors (gotta admit, I'm kinda cheering them on), but eventually they were forced to flee the city they were based in due to several extremely bloody confrontations in the streets between them and Ziva military forces that killed a lot of bystanders.
This is when their group moved out to Sommetique and found the Stellaron. Culseva was already starting to wonder if they were doing the right thing after watching several of his close friends get killed for no gain. Renais, however, became even more zealous and started talking about genocide of the Ziva and such. Culseva just wanted their planet and sovereignty back. They had a bad fight and split. Culseva went on to join a new group that was looking into more peaceful means of change because he was sick of the fighting but still desperately wanted change.
It was in that new group that he eventually met the Trailblazers. Himeko, March, Stelle, and Dan Heng all came down to Huth in search of the Stellaron causing problems (since thats how ever planet visit goes, right?). Himeko and March ended up joining the group that was going to Suthi to negotiate for Huth’s independence (the Ziva were starting to face both internal and external pressure to do this. They still had other planets in the system for resources, why did they need to keep Huth under their control?) In fact, one of the people in this negotiations group was a Ziva. They weren’t the only Ziva who was in this group either, just the one picked for the negotiations. It was still mostly Chèvren tho.
Meanwhile, Dan Heng and Stelle went with Culseva to deal with the Stellaron. He had kept his violent past hidden, but he realized what the Stellaron was when he heard the Trailblazers description of it and decided that this was the final duty he needed to fulfill to put his past to rest. Of course, it doesn’t end up going well for him… RIP Culseva. If I’d been willing to add in an OC, you would have had a really emotional arc in facing your ex. And then probably died in that fight instead oops.
Anyways, March and Himeko helped negotiate for true freedom for Huth by insinuating shit like no one from outside their system would deal with them if they didn’t, but if they did, maybe they’d put in a good word to the IPC for business opportunities in this system. Faced with their own people starting to turn on them for perpetuating this, the continuing difficulty of keeping Huth in check, and the possibility of outside consequences; the Ziva leaders finally caved and gave Huth its sovereignty back. Huth would never recover from everything they’d lost in the centuries of oppression (like the planet’s original name. They might bring it back eventually, but for now it’s still Huth), but they had the chance to start over now.
Quick glossary of what I was using:
Vampire planet: Suthi Vampire species: Ziva
Goat planet: Huth Goat species: Rasna(sing.)/Rasenna(plu.) // Chèvren The mountain base with the stellaron: sacnicleri // Sommetique (sommet and magnifique)
Sren // Renais Culseva // Tabbeau
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thaliatimsh · 1 year ago
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hiiii can i get 5, 10, 11, 16, 17, 19, 25 for the fic writer asks :>
HOHOHOOHO thamk you for asking sorry it took me a hot minute to get back on my laptop:
5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?
LOL i love how everyone has asked me this do i come off as so bitter? i sure do lol. anyway another peeve of mine is really naff ~foriegn language~ bits esp. as like. rubbish sexy talk. people making a character go oooh ma petite chou-fleur in the heat of the moment shfgdjshds fuck off
10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?
this is a tough one! when i go hunting for fics i normally start w my Fave Character Tags (... treavor pendleton, george hodgson ao3 pages saved to my phone bookmarks smhhhh). probably dishonored fic is my fave to read actually? bc people do so much fun stuff with The World :^)
11. How do you come up with your fic titles?
normally they come from a spoken line in the text of the fic! or sometimes a bit of description... or something from the canon. like the working title for a different kind of man was "stained glass". the fics in the takes two to quarrel series were all named for lines in the fics, except for imperfect life which i lifted directly from canon text (and the series was named for a line in imperfect life)
nlwib's name comes from that one line of wallace's in game thats like - "I must prepare the mourning garments. His lordship has never looked well in black.". i often think that if i was gonna do a cleanup re-write i would just call it in black, but i did start posting it nearly eleven years ago and my Style has evolved since then lol
16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching?
HFJSDKFHKS SEE MYSTERY MAN PART 2 in which I accidentally uncovered the history of one of the rl officers of the franklin expedition and have since seen real life Scholars talk abt things that were literally lost to history until i connected a bunch of dots on accident while trying to find out what early 19thc. eton was like. for a fanned fiction. me @ franklin scholars: get on my level wankers lol
17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?
TOO OBSESSIVELY and it never ends well. i am trying to hold back on this bc. drac your fics are too niche your majesty they'll kill your self-esteem your majesty. never 4 get that the only comment i got on nlwib chapter 15 was "shame it wasnt gay" :/
19. Do you edit your fics after you write them, or do you prefer to just hit post and run (because it’s someone else’s problem now)?
i don't really Edit edit? things come and go as i write, then i'll get a version i like and probably give it a once-over in the ao3 preview to look for typos.
25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist.
i don't really listen to music while i'm writing bc i get too distracted! either by lyrics or A Good Bit in instrumental music lol. but sometimes I'll play a single song on repeat through the entire thing like a deranged animal. i think the last nlwib chapter was written to Paris 1919 by John Cale on repeat for abt 40 hours lmao
this is the questions btw
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fixfoxnox · 1 year ago
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I love ask games! I don't have a specific fic in mind but 7! (I think it was 7... the one about real people or things)
BTW guys anon meant Number 8 which is "Did any real people or events inspire any part of it"
And I'm actually gonna like spread this out and talk about two different fics with this one. The first one is pretty simple and most of y'all probably know it.
So in the Camboy AU I use some of my actual followers as commenter or donos or chatters for Roach's streams. I only use people who have given me permission, so if you'd be chill with your name being used in the camboy AU you can let me know and you may eventually have your username used! Its really just a fun Easter egg for the community but it's something I do!
So the other ones are a bit more directly in line with the questions and these are all moments from SiTO.
Okay so I may have mentioned this before but the chapter where Roach falls off the bridge in Russia and we get the flashback with his dad, the one where he gets thrown into the river, that section has a lot of inspiration from my real life.
Not getting thrown into a raging river btw, but the location that I describe there, the river with the bridge/highway running over it and the long dirt Road up to it, thats an actual place that I use to go swimming when I was younger! Its one of the swimming points on the Saline River in Arkansas for anyone who is curious. I was trying to find a picture of the specific spot for you guys but I couldn't lol, if I can drive out to it one day I'll show y'all a picture.
But yeah, I also did almost drown in that river as a child so...I guess the descriptions were maybe based in that? Also the instructions from Roach's dad were very similar to instructions that my dad gave me and my brothers for if we ever found ourselves swept down river before he could get to us (again feel the need to say my dad never threw me in a raging river lol)
I will also say Roach's description of sitting and watching bats fly from his families shed in his first life is definitely based on experiences of me and my cousins sitting out and watching bats fly into my grandparents sheds.
Also I've mentioned Roach as one of those kids who walks into the woods and just snatches random animals, that was actually based on two of my cousins. I have two cousins like that who always are just going into the woods and snatching up snakes and rats and really any animals they can find. I thought it was a pretty good trait to give to Roach as well :)
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wainwrightjakobshammerlock · 11 months ago
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what are your influences/inspirations for your art!! like, stylistically or thematically!
visual art, stylistically:
the Borderlands artstyle obviously. cel shading and outlines my fucking beloved. I am so fucking sad that gbx themselves is kinda toning down on it and that they didn't implement the crosshatch shader they put in teasers for bl3. come the fuck on
the Psychonauts artstyle. even if I do no longer draw in the hyperdeformed style I took from that game I still often deform characters and exagerrate their main features in order to make them more distinct. it also kinda made me addicted to shape language lolmao
Team Fortress 2. I am fucking serious btw. blame that one youtube video on its artstyle. it's been a formative experience for me when I watched it and it stuck itself in my brain. it made me appreciate blockiness/solidity/stockiness in art, as well as teaching me how to limit color palettes and how to draw attention to the important parts of the character by using color contrast.
as for actual artists and not. Video Games. I have been eyeing cubists and futurists recently (even went to a gallery with some of Picasso's earlier works) but it's nothing too substantial as of rn
visual art, thematically:
most of what I draw is characters & fanart so. yeah .
however one thing I've been enjoying recently is redrawing paintings or old photos. usually replacing the ppl in them with my fave old man yaoi. maybe it's cringe but they are a very "love in every time" sort of couple to me so :shrug:
literary art, stylistically:
positivist writing, particularly Lalka by Bolesław Prus. perhaps it's because I consider myself academically inclined, perhaps it's because naturalistic descriptions pander to my Biology Autism, perhaps it's bc of smth else idk
impressionism except not really bc im autistic and thus sensory descriptions come to me naturally
Terry. Pratchett. comparisons in my fics are often snappy(tm) as all fuck because they're, well, Borderlands fics, and to me a Borderlands novel should be Discworld-like. also because Discworld itself slaps
the work of Alexis Kennedy: the guy who wrote a lot of Fallen London, Cultist Simulator and also the Horizon Signal dlc for Stellaris. which is all shit im into. and good lird . its hard to describe you have to read this stuff for yourself
literary art, thematically:
again see the visual art section but largely my fics if they aren't self indulgent fluff are just. taken from my brain tee em because I cover topics or angles that the rest of the fandom wouldn't even think of
Alexis Kennedy again bc he writes gothic/cosmic horror. especially the latter. hoo doggy
other things that in general inspire me:
Darkest Dungeon. both the artstyle and the story have been big influences on me even tho I only played the game once and know everything abt it by watching youtube and bingereading wikis
the legacy of H. P. "Racist" Lovecraft. I guess. what can I say I am a sucker (haha) for those tentacles. except I do everything he ever did sexier and cooler and also he can go roll in his grave
legends, folklore, mythology and occultism. Hellenic of course since that's a big part of Borderlands symbolism but I ain't a coward I throw all that shit in there. slavic (creator bias lollll), norse, japanese, a bit of voudoun, biblical tradition, alchemy, tarot, et cetera. of course I usually don't talk about all the symbols that go into my Everything bc there's a crapton and everyone is entitled to their own interpretations but. yknow! and thats not even accounting for my love of assigning complex motifs to things
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So, from a combination of adhd and dyslexia I kinda just skimmed over the description of the Batgirl (red) suit
BUT someone else made fanart of it that looked super different from what I thought it would
SO I decided just for fun I’d make fanart of my own interpretation of how the Batgirl (red) suit could look
aka just in general what Tim Drake’s suit might look like if premiering as a Batgirl; though I used YJ Red Robin as a reference for mostly just the body
Originally I had a red|blue split but changed it to just red cuz it looked better that way. Not claiming this is a good design btw just that its mine.
Maybe it’s a bit plain but leave me alone I like it
Tumblr media
Here’s the fic where Batgirl (red) debuts (not the focus of the story, its a tumblr social media fic, so beware if thats why you want to read it) and the fanart from another reader they linked in the same chapter (6)
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mochiotomedumplings · 2 months ago
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man, now that im done with this isekai fic… its been a long time since i managed to finish writing a fic, this is quite the feeling. ive recovered from the sunday crunch, now revving to write the author’s notes for this… just cos there’s so much to say.
(writing and ranting by extension becomes much easier after i broke my back writing 31k… its really like a muscle that needs to be regularly used)
this fic is kinda hard to explain in few words, “in another world” is, as vague and encompassing as that sounds, is the best description so far. i guess “childe transmigrates into a novel and falls in love with an ex-villain who loves the og him in the other timeline too” works as well, but it isn’t enough. this is the second longest fic ive written, but in terms of details it probably rivals scattered flowers 😂 scattered was wordy from smut and character exploration, but theres not much in terms of actual interaction btw zc. theres a lot of memories and alluded-to interactions, but theres a whole lot more internal simping. even the smut is 90% delusional 😂 this fic however, has much actual interaction (shocking, for me) and lotta side characters as well. side character lore ! on top of zc’s backstory. and the complexity of parallel timelines which i dig so much. despite how much it grew on me, i did learn to not plan a story with a time gap in between - it would be too easy to want to fill in the gap and things go out of hand quickly since i take longer to write these days.
i suppose what i adore the most was the story of the other timeline - i settled with “tale of purple: alternative” as the name bcs of it. the whole fic is essentially a fix-it for the other timeline, though few things remain just as tragic (sorry i only have zc in my eyes). i got this idea a while back, wanting to write an isekai where ch comes over and is clueless on zl’s simping for him (classic but always so good) and since zl loves ch in every timeline for me, i had to puzzle out the og timeline too. the og version was a bit more… *interesting* in terms of the events, other!zl was also a villain then, but he was directly responsible for ch’s disappearance instead. ofc, he only took ch to his lil dungeon and had his own twisted time with the ginger… that was an otome isekai au, zl was spose to be that villain you can’t date, for actual reasons 😂 in the new variation, he was hate-pining after the ginger until ch accidentally died, so it became tragic. it didn’t hit me how sad it was until scenes of him being broken afterwards showed up in my mind - other!zl had grudges but it wasn’t that bad until what happened to ch. this was also where the theme of “place where i belong” came in as well, completely unplanned - zl was so enamored with ch that it kinda solved/ restrained his resentment for the world. so he was quite destroyed and went ham with villainy when his angel went away. alternatively (ha ha) when new ch crossed over, he managed to save zl completely and survive his cannon fodder fate as well, so all was good. the important thing was that regardless of timeline, zl was head over heels for ch.
thinking of the specifics of the og timeline added a bunch of stuff as well. it unexpectedly became even more tragic, and part of it was not even fixed in the new timeline - bcs i need it to make sense for ch to puzzle his way thru the lore (only to come to the wrong conclusion anyway but thats a required misunderstanding lolol). this was one of the more surprising part of the writing - the tragedy had felt so bad in one moment that i had to take a forced break from writing. it was unexpectedly quite dark for a story that was spose to be all fluff.
initially i hadn’t intended for it to be so family-focused, but it somehow wiggled its way into the story bcs of ch. i hadn’t intended to expand on ch’s story before he transmigrated either, per isekai tradition, but i ended up doing just that - he’s not just a corporate slave who simps after a novel’s character, he’s an orphan who was saved by an orphanage director after being pummeled by his gang, then became a normie who spends most of his time playing with the orphanage children bcs he’s afraid of losing his family - his stabilizer so to say. he also adopted some children as well (just so i can make him freak out and fight xiao before the climax) and well, since the whole fic is in his pov, eventually even his feelings for zl gained the family tint. what was supposed to end on him just realizing zl’s feelings, turned into a whole proposal bcs family. i just realized how much i derailed bcs of it, they really was just spose to start dating… skipped a few steps haha.
even zl’s story as well, he already got a bunch from other!zl’s lore, but he got some more bcs ch wanted to know his past for some reason. made it sadder how the other timeline turned about - he lost his “place in the world”, which was by ch’s side, even if he never managed to reach out to ch in that world. that was why the meaning of aster was so sad - it was a wish for things to have turned out differently (hence, alternative).
i had this burning thought of other!zl transmigrating to ch’s og word, as like a ceo or mafia boss. and then other!ch transmigrated into new ch’s body ! so its like they switch world 🥹 but yeah i just want to give them a future. zl deserves a second chance to reach out to his angel and protect him properly this time, since other!ch has few issues growing up without anyone to save him like new ch did. i imagined that zl woke up in the hospital after gaining memories from the other world. it made sense now why he felt so empty all his life. and then he saw ch in the hospital kinda dying from that truck hit. zl tried his best to save ch and thanks to the modern world’s medical prowess. ch woke up… with the other world’s memories as well, not that zl knew. other!ch probably pretends to lose his memories (he doesnt have new ch’s memories while zl does) but slowly warms up to his family anyway, even if it might be rough. he had a crush on other!zl to begin with so other!zl approaches him quite easily, and maybe they’ll end up having a more physical relationship before an emotional one - they’re both rather broken ppl after all. eventually i hope they can be honest about their memories with each other, which would be quite sweet and heartwarming - they are the only ones to share memories of that world after all.
oh this was also something i couldn’t help imagining, out of sheer pity for other!zl. i think ch will have a dream one day where he meets other!zl, who’s so happy - and afraid - to see him. he would be quite taken with ch, bcs ch did manage to save him in another world after all. but more than anything, he’s just so happy to see ch again, alive. he would hug ch for the entirety of the dream, just to feel better (ch realizes that its not quite his zl, but still zl after all) before asking for a kiss at the end. ch would tease him for being so shy for a villain, but they would kiss rather sweetly and then woke up. no one remembers the dream but the next day zl is a bit clingier than usual. other!zl… i guess he would love new ch just as other!ch - they’re still ch after all. from a technical point of view they’re different variations of the same person so they can be compared, but since they will never see the two versions side by side, it matters little i guess (but if i *really* have to say, i would like for other!zl to love other!ch more, bcs that was the version he knew, and there for *his* own version of ch. sure that ch did leave him when being beaten up, but ppl make mistakes let alone a child. other!zl might even feel like he doesn’t deserve new ch cos of how broken he is, but thats a pretty sad way of looking at it).
one of the most burgeoning parts was how zc’s friendship evolved - i never meant to explore it but well, the gap has to be filled. from their first (second) meeting to how zl slowly wiggled into ch’s life, the simp that was rex lapis. ch’s a clown for how much he (internally) simps over zl and yet refuses to actually follow his desires, and zl’s the same clown for not taking his chances until way later. in retrospect, there is quite a big secret between them, and ch doesn’t even know the full story. they really could have kissed much sooner though - but its the slow… idiocy (?) that makes it funny to read ? it can’t be slow burn bcs they practically simp at first sight, but also ch was in denial for a long, long time. its quite funny how he managed to hold on for so long despite his inability to stop yapping about zl’s eyes and lips and everything.
ch’s clueless in all the ways that make him cute. ofc he doesn’t realize he has a fanclub, and that ppl were avoiding his eyes bcs they’re too ravishing. ofc he doesn’t realize that zl became friends with his servants so easily bcs they all simp for him, and the fanclub members (including ch’s most trusted subordinates/ caretakers he calls them) all support zl’s pursuit, partly bcs the duke is just too pitiful being friendzoned by their master 😂 and ofc, if he doesn’t realize zl’s feelings then he wouldn’t realize that he’s being jealous over himself - tbf zl has some responsibility for not just telling him, but we can’t have that can we.
and theres also the aster flower - one variation called “tartarian aster” (hehe) and shion in japan, means “i won’t forget you”. and aster when placed on a grave indicates a wish for things to have turned out differently. i didn’t plan for this, it was called “jade winds of aster” just bcs of xiao and that it sounded nice. only later did i realize how much it fit, and had to add so many paragraphs bcs of it 😂 worth it tho i guess, its quite the meaningful correlation.
well, i think that’s about all the stuff i can think to rant about now. damn…
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wuahae · 6 months ago
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hello... i'm here as promised :3 anyway i told you i've been meaning to read this fic for Ages and i am Finally here at my keyboard ready to yap ☝️☝️ i put on the bibi lowlife princess: noir album to play in the background and i am READY! ok without further ado lets get into it hehe
THEY TOLD YOU YOUR SISTER'S DEATH WAS AN ACCIDENT, they being the authorities who had shown up at the front door of your apartment with their caps in hand, solemn faces pressed into lines that you could not read between. The world had fallen out from beneath your feet like someone had just yanked the carpet out, and you hadn't yet stopped falling.
right off the bat i just wanna say how well your first scene sets up the mood of this fic right from the very first paragraph like. First off the description of "caps in hand, solemn faces pressed into lines that you could not read between" is already SO compelling, but then right after that you mention how you haven't stopped falling since. how your world still hasn't been a stable ground beneath your feet since the news... LIKE WHAT! it sets the tone so well like i am IN it!!! it reads exactly like. the cold open of a noir mystery movie. cue opening credits. we're in for a ride!!
But all you found were strangers. These were all Sena's friends, after all. She had always been the more adventurous of the two of you.
i like this detail btw its like. the little things. she was your beloved older sister but everything about her life is like. distant from you.. you don't really know anything and its all a mystery to you. you didnt even know she was in town before you found out she died... what else was she hiding from you... the stark difference between what you knew of her vs. who she actually was . much to think about .
Like many of the others, you didn't recognize him—at first.
OH???? interesting that you dont know any of sena's other friends but you know changmin . Interesting.... also you didn't recognize him At First... just like how he's essentially a stranger to you before becoming something (Im Guessing) More to you as the fic continues... duck chuckling gif
A pair of dark, feline eyes looked you up and down. "Yn, right?"
meow....
When you didn't finish your sentence right away, he nodded again, shuffling on the balls of his feet. Was he feeling as awkward as you were? "I get that. Hey, if you—y'know, like, need anything—"
ugh im sideeyeing him SO bad like. what do you know. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM YN. also in the next paragraph i guess sena and changmin were Good friends... close friends from how he was over at sena's place all the time... interesting. What do you want from yn... AND THEN RELIEF WHEN YOU ACCEPT? ugh... im onto you jichang.
The box was an unassuming hunk of metal, flat and slim and no bigger than a standard piece of paper. You warmed the key in your palm until it was hot to the touch and made your skin redden. The sky outside your apartment window had darkened to a blot of ink, the white shutters drawn shut to create a white paneled shield.
IMAGERY!!!!! so vivid... so compelling. also the way you detail how you have to Warm the key before even beginning to open the box... like you're trying to stall the task for as long as possible... remnants of grief maybe. trying to avoid opening the box bc if you do then its like. thats the last bits of sena and after that there's... nothing more for you to discover. after that you're just left with memories . ouughh....
also the way you describe the sky "darkening to a blot of ink" is so good im literally stealing that from you its so evocative. endless void of black. Exactly. sets the mood so well.
The shorter end could slide open like a hidden door, and you peered into the dark depths, almost afraid of what you might find between its jaws. You could make out the silhouettes of shapes at the bottom, the soft-cornered texture of a wad of bills. You reached in.
i dont have anything detailed to say about this i just think it fucks
But as you crept into bed, you couldn't help but feel as if the stone on your sternum did have a heartbeat, and that something in the dark was watching you.
OUUGHHH??? obsessed with the suspense btw... also offhandedly ill probably mention this again but im really fucking with this Plot like im so invested so far and we only just ended the last section.. Your mind .
Did this guy just materialize out of thin air everywhere?
well...yes! also he's being sooo nice . like. telling you you don't have to go in if you can't or you don't want to??? im squeezing my eyes shut please dont.. Im so easy this would get me so bad.
(You had stared at the blueberry scones for a long minute before deciding that today was not the day you wanted to cry in front of someone, especially this someone in particular.)
BTW i will probably bring this up again but i really like how like. a lot of the times people will use someone's death as a catalyst for the entire plot but then the Importance of that person aside from plot purposes is completely forgotten But you make an effort to show that like. Yeah sena was a real person who lived. you loved her for more than her. "plot convenience" ill say MDFSLDFK sena is so intricately connected to who yn is as a person that its like. UGH!!! like even without outright Stating it its so clear from the way you describe everything that these sisters were So important to each other (leaving Everything to you...) that the like. sena's secrecy automatically raises a bunch of red flags . also yn and changmin trying to pry info out of each other while also being clammy about their Own secrets is so MDSFJLSDFK Kids you're gonna have to get along soon... in a couple scenes actually....
The room still smelled like your sister.
kills....myself........ IT WOULDN'T BRING HER BACK IT DIDN'T SMELL THE SAME WHEN IT WAS ON YOUR SKIN?!?!? oouuugghhh.... she's dead. nothing is the same anymore. toaster in bathtub .
He seemed to be unfazed by your remark as he peered over at you from beneath the brim of his cap. "What if I just live here?"
their tension... heh . chuckles... also again i'm just really obsessed with their dynamic . not exactly cat and mouse but i like how yn isn't just There she's actively trying to find things out on her own and changmin is. an enigma and trying to get stuff out of her too but yn is like. fighting back in her own way. there's resistance! anyway i'm a really big fan of yn that's my baby... holds her gently
Additionally, the weird sounds around your apartment had increased. Sometimes when you walked around in the evenings, the hair on the back of your neck and your arms stood at attention, as if you could feel the gaze of someone or… something watching you.
SEE ME PERSONALLYYYFDJSDFLKJ IM BOOKING IT OUT OF TOWN.
It was as if distance from your skin or touch left it without a heart to echo.
BANGER FUCKING LINE?
You didn't often pay attention to the meaning of flowers, but you thought if you weren't able to choke anything out today, then at least they could speak for you.
ouuughhh.........😭😭😭😭
"Isn't it a sin to curse over someone's grave?" Changmin asked as you stopped short of where he was.
OUUUGGHHHH?!?!!?! CHANGMIN STOP SHOWING UP PLEAASEEEJDLSFKFJD can this guy give yn a break . please... also sunflower meaning adoration pelase kill meeeeefdjldf
Maybe you were crying for the both of you.
UUGGGHGHHH?!?!!?!?! also the paragraph before talking about like. Ugh. 1) yn finally letting it out and like. the betrayal and the weight of everything bearing down on her at once (the atlas line goes fucking crazy btw) + the way you describe crying is soooo good like i always have trouble describing it without feeling cringy but you describe it so well like. im feeling it in my chest . and also 2) changmin being ideal person to cry in front of. Enough. ugh idk there's so much residual hurt between them its hurting my feelings. my tummy hurts...
Your skin prickled when you returned home.
man. the beginnign of your scenes r so good. so vivid... gets you Right back in it (i never left)
A shadow appeared on the ledge of your window sill and you let out a scream. The mass gnarled its teeth at the sound, pouncing at you with claws and fangs that glinted in the daylight.
UGH ME PERSONALLYYYFDJJFDLFD FUCK ID KILL MYSELF BEFORE IT COULD IM NOT GOING TO LIE. anyway your action scenes are so well paced i feel like it reads so snappy . you can really feel the panic and the terror and like that part right before changmin starts pounding on your door is soo like. ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT FR
+ your disgraceejjfdlkdf what a little fucker... anyway the compliments i said up top still apply here + i like the visualization of like. snarling / wood breaking / bones cracking its so loud and ugly those were the perfect words to describe what was happening
He exhaled sharply. "I'm a demon."
[shocked pikachu]
"Oh, I know I'm going crazy," you nodded vigorously, wiping away the snot that dribbled down your nose inelegantly.
SORRYYDFJFDL THIS IS A SERIOUS MOMENT BUT ITS GIVING LIKE. ANYA SPY X FAMILY BAWLING HER EYES OUT WITH SNOT GOING DOWN HER NOSE...INELEGANTLY!!!!!! also yn freaking out is so me like she's so real DSFLFKDS of Course there's a portal. Of course . and now they have to team up... with all that hurt and distrust still running rampant....... its so messy im obsessed .
It screeched. You drew the knife out to impale it in the back area, messily splattering an arc of its black blood everywhere. You sucked in a sob as you scrambled backward. Its body dragged along the ground from its claws still sunken into your leg. The body was limp, but your nose wrinkled from the acrid, hot smell reeking from the corpse. It smelled burnt.
this is just a part from this section but im obsesed with how this reads soooo messy /pos its like. dirty and clumsy(?) and idk you can feel the desperation each time yn is forced to fight bc like Of course she's clumsy and bad at fighting she's never had to do this before in her life
His rough palms cupped your face. You could hear your heartbeat slowing in your ears. Ba-boom… ba-boom… ba… boom. "Stay with me," he panted. His left hand pressed against that side of your neck to staunch the blood flow. He sucked in a breath and he ducked out of your view.
OUUUUGGGHHHHHHHHHH?!?!?!?!?! MY EYEBROWS SHOT UP MY FOREHEAD . also the heartbeat motif in this scene but also the heartbeat motif from the pendant on your chest. *miley cyrus voice* What does it mean...
Changmin crawled onto his arms, sliding down toward your leg. "Yeah, sweetheart. I got it."
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he laps.........at your wounds...........like he'd done before................ pushes eric sohn into a ditch there's a New dog in town.
"I want to go home," you whispered. It wasn't even to Changmin, just to whoever could hear you. Homehomehome, but where was home? They could find you anywhere.
this makes me sooooo. like. Hurk. she just wants to go home but where is home. wasn't home...sena...... nothing is the same anymore.... sena (home) is gone now. things can't return to the way they used to be anymore...they could find you anywhere .
"I have… had sisters."
changmin lore dropped (🆕)
also the way hes still so caring of you...bringing sena back into it. SHE IS NOT FORGOTTEN EVEN IN ALL OF THIS IM SAYING....
He reached over then, his palm warm against your head, as he gently brushed his thumb over your eyelids to coax them closed. "You're safe with me, Yn," he promised. You were reluctant to believe him, but after what just happened, at least you knew he could take care of himself and you.
AWOOOOOOO............???????? yn is better than me i would have made out with him . my mouth is injured pls heal me with your magical demon spit.....for research purposes pleaaaseeee...!
"Are you sure you're not like, a vampire?" His face dropped into a deadpan you'd seen before. "Oh my God." "You can say His name?"
THEYRE SOOOO LAME DFSJLFDKFDSJ
The sky was an ugly, sickly shade of gray-green. It reminded you of the lighting from the first Twilight movie, and you gagged at the thought.
seattlecore...
He shrugged again. "What? Like it's hard?"
OKAAAYYY ELLE WOODS 😍 also yn getting a plate of chicken tenders is so funny to me like MFJLFDK she got it from the kids menu actually... the waitress definitely gave a her look when she ordered it off the menu....
With a cough, he murmured, "Welcome. Couldn't have you dying on me."
hmmm he's notably selfless and caring... establishing character dynamics... foreshadowing question mark...?
Your finger ghosted over the glowing metal, silver warming to a yellow-orange, but only if you didn't blink in the daylight.
this scratches an itch in my brain... hi clyde!!!! also "it doesn't give me lip" IS SOOODFSJLFDSK obssesed with yn's attitude btw
+ AND THEN "And you say I give you lip?" THEY ARE SOOOODFSJFLDK
"We're in wolf shifter territory."
awoo.... starts playing reveal by tbz
Man, he was so much prettier up close…
op your intrusive thoughts are showing
Kevin considered you for a moment, but the gentleness from his voice and body language never left. "You're safe from Changmin."
NNOOOOOOOOOOO changmin's been fighting tooth and nail for days trying to keep yn safe and also trying to finish what sena started and now he's being falsely accused of being an abusive bf 😭😭😭 #JUSTICEFORCHANGMIN thanks for making the rest of tbz upstanding gentlemen (gentle....wolf...men....) though, very on brand for them
+ COBIE AS AN ANGEL. of course... shakes my head and chuckles... of course......
For some reason, it felt like you were still taking care of her in death. But perhaps that was the cost of seeking closure.
UGH. UGH! no bc in a way youre like. still cleaning up her mess . you never asked for this but you're doing it anyway but its like. ugghhh you don't even Mind if you're cleaning up a mess because it's Her mess... there's still parts of her left for you to hold onto . 😭
(He didn't need to eat, your ass. You saw the blueberry pancakes on the far end and wondered if he had some yet.)
THE WAY YOU'RE ALREADY THINKING OF HIM????? 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵 I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE YN. also the pack dynamic is so cute. they are all so cute.
The helplessness that settled into the grooves of the room made you squirm, and your fingers fondled the red pendant at your collar again.
settling into the Grooves of the room is so good btw and also i was waiting for this to be mentioned more in the fic before I mentioned it in the review and i am just Yapping but is it like. the reason why yn always fondles with the pendant when she's nervous/uncomfortable is cause like. well 1) you mentioned how it resembles a heartbeat/it has a heartbeat of its own if you pay close enough attention to it but 2) on top of that its like. its the last thing sena ever gave to her. in a way it's a source of comfort bc in some twisted way she can think of it as sena still being with her giving her strength . or smth.
(Dark. You were always sitting in the dark.)
also this makes me so sad like yn bby.. you feel her helplessness . and then on top of that changmin hiding details from her after she thought they were finally getting somewhere with no secrets?!?! ouughh....
Jacob grinned, and you definitely hadn't been hallucinating when you saw flickers of gold in his irises. "He owes me a sparring match."
MEEEOWWWWWW..........
ok final thoughts. WHAT way to start a fic btw . it reads so .. Literary like it sucks me right in and i love how each word reads so Purposeful like you definitely don't write anything without meaning to put it there ykwim but i think that is less a feature of this Fic and moreso a compliment of your writing in general :3 i mention imagery and like Scene Pacing so much with you privately i'm sure you're sick of me mentioning it Again in basically the same words but there are so many sentences and descriptions i probably didn't mention directly in my reactions above but just know that its good. All of it is good and visceral and descriptive to the point of it almost being cinematic . etc etc etc . also i love how you're developing changmin and yn's relationship like. this sort of reluctant reliance on each other but in a way they can't help it.. they can't stop it... like neither of them want to be in this situation but it's what they Have to do... ugh. UGH. also like i said above i love how sena is like. so intricately tied throughout the whole fic like you make sure that the reader never forgets Why yn is here and what sena meant to her.
i'm so excited to see where this leads in part 2 and what the DEAL is with this mysterious pendant(s)... many thoughts. many predictions . will reconvene in my reblog of part 2 SOON.
𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐑𝐒 — part one (i – vii)
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nonidol!ji changmin x f!reader
your sister's dead, but apparently that's not the most shocking news. maybe she wasn't killed on accident, maybe ji changmin isn't really human, and maybe the monsters were never under the bed but all around you...
▷ genre, warnings. strangers 2 reluctant allies/friends 2 lovers, slow burn, demon/supernatural creatures au, angst, action, murder mystery-ish au, forced proximity trope, suspense, gore, depictions of violence and blood, themes of death and grief, use/description of weaponry, swearing, a slightly unreliable narrator bc she has no idea what's happening, reader's sister is dead, mentions of stalking, humor bc coping mechanisms, reader has hair long enough to braid sorry, blood drinking, the barest of proofreading and editing done...
▷ part word count. 22.3k words / 47.4k - read part two here
▷ associated songs. teeth (5sos), wet nightmare (bibi)
a/n: i tried to make it scary I SWEAR but changmin brings the clown out of me 🤥 anyways i ripped a chunk of my heart out and im serving it to you bloodied on a gold platter, i hope u love her :') read the warnings ofc and lmk your thoughts <3 also i completely gave up on wrestling w blr so im dropping it in two parts, but both of them at once 🤣 pray for me.
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#1—NEXT OF KIN.
THEY TOLD YOU YOUR SISTER'S DEATH WAS AN ACCIDENT, they being the authorities who had shown up at the front door of your apartment with their caps in hand, solemn faces pressed into lines that you could not read between. The world had fallen out from beneath your feet like someone had just yanked the carpet out, and you hadn't yet stopped falling.
The funeral was set on the rolling green hills of Elysium Memorial Park, the cemetery where your parents were buried, where your grandparents were buried, and now, where your sister joined them six feet under. Generations ago, your grandparents had purchased plots for themselves and their future family members while the land was cheap. When it came for your time to leave this mortal coil behind, you too would join them in the dirt of Elysium. It almost seemed right that the sky had opened up to reveal a blindingly hot sun, not a cloud to be seen in the sky. Perhaps the sky would not weep for your sister, but celebrate her life instead.
But while the heavens above would shed nary a tear, you could make up for that loss yourself. Having little to no living relatives left, you had been expected to take responsibility for all the arrangements, all while grieving, all while studying, all while trying to not fall apart some more. You were holding it together by the zipper of your dress pants and the caffeine from your coffee. You couldn't stop crying for the entire service, the forced silence of your cries balanced by the violent tremors in your shoulders.
Your sister Sena's patch in the land was now marked by a heaping pile of dirt. She had a lot of friends—most of whom gathered behind you and had thrown their flowers upon the dirt hill. You had a few distant relatives as well who you'd managed to remember (somehow) amongst all the madness. A couple of them were able to fly out for the event, but most had to decline.
When you heard your name being called, you drew your blazer sleeve over your eyes in a futile attempt to dry them.
Walking towards you now was a couple, middle-aged, dressed in black from head to toe, not far from how you looked right now. You knew them from about a week ago when they had sought you out after the news of your sister's death spread.
You hadn't the heart to sue them when they confessed who they were. It's our fault, they told you in the quiet of the hallway outside your apartment, we're so sorry. We understand if you'd like to press charges.
Sena was a victim of an automobile accident. You didn't know the entire story—was too tired for the whole story—just shocked she was even in the country. She was supposed to be across the world for a study abroad program, but why was she discovered on the side of the road, a few towns over, inebriated and dead? She became nothing more than roadkill and a statistic in death, and maybe that was why you were so bitter.
"Yn, it was a beautiful ceremony," said the woman—Julia, she had introduced herself as that week ago. Her nose was reddened from the friction of tissue paper, her eyes damp and glittering in the sunlight. "I'm sorry you—that you have to deal with all the pomp and circumstance."
"We know you deserve your time alone," joined her husband, Carter. He tucked his hands into his pockets, mustering up a smile for your sake, but you could still see the guilt flooding his eyes with water. "We just wanted to say thank you for letting us come and pay our respects."
And for not pressing charges. But you dashed that thought away. That was the bitterness talking, but these were good people. They had come forward and been honest, and it wasn't their fault Sena was drunk. (Why in the world was she drunk and here and why didn't she tell you the truth—?)
"Thank you for coming," you replied, "I wasn't sure if you would take me up on the offer, to be honest."
You wrapped up conversation with the couple and watched them depart across the grassy hills toward their car. Your eyes surveyed the last bits of the lingering crowd for familiar faces—anyone at all. But all you found were strangers.
These were all Sena's friends, after all. She had always been the more adventurous of the two of you.
You sighed and resigned yourself to start looking for the funeral coordinator to discuss payment and the like. Though the event was over the worst was just beginning. There was so much to do, and so little energy left to perform them.
But as you began trudging through the plush grass toward the far end of the plot, you noticed a man standing beneath the shade of a nearby oak tree. He wore typical funeral attire—the black dress shirt, pants, shoes, and even a pair of rectangular shades to cover his eyes. Like many of the others, you didn't recognize him—at first.
And then he shifted, lenses of his glasses reflecting sunlight and you could just barely put together the puzzle of his face and his identity. Ji Changmin.
What was he doing here?
They were friends, too, Yn, you reminded yourself. Yet, you weren't sure why you were so surprised he was here. Maybe it was because you never remembered extending the invitation to him (but someone could have spread the news by word of mouth). Maybe it was because several months had passed since you last saw him. Maybe it was because you always thought there was something… strange about him (but that could have been your bias; there was always this thing about him that irked you). Either way, you never had anything to say to him before, and that had yet to change even in light of your sister's death.
The two of you stared each other down, and for a moment, you believed he was going to walk over to you.
But instead, he pushed off the tree trunk and made his way toward the trickle of funeral goers up the hill, leaving you to wonder after him.
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The next time you saw Ji Changmin was a week after the will reading.
Because you were Sena's next of kin, you were contacted by your shared attorney about Sena's will. Apparently, she had a will. After all these years, you couldn't even fathom the idea of needing one so early, but for some reason, she had. (Maybe that worried you a little more.)
The strangest thing was that your attorney had delivered to you a flat lockbox made of steel and secured with an old fashioned lock and key. Along with the stash of money in her savings account (where the Hell had all of that come from anyway?), Sena also gave you that. Whatever it was.
You had yet to open it when you bumped into Changmin on your way out of your college's academic counseling center. With recent events, your departmental advisor called you in to discuss your academic plans for the foreseeable future.
You can take as long as you like, Yn, she'd said to you. You're already ahead of schedule to graduate anyways. But that wasn't the point was it?—
"Oh." You stopped short as you rounded the corner and nearly crashed into something. "Sorry," you said before you even recognized him.
A pair of dark, feline eyes looked you up and down. "Yn, right?" Changmin drawled. A pair of white wired earbuds hung from his ears and his shoulders were fitted with a dark colored bomber jacket that was familiar to you. You'd seen it draped over the back of one of your kitchen chairs once when Sena had him over for a project.
Your eyes shuttered. "Yeah. Changmin?"
His nod was barely there. He cocked his head to the side in a way that felt like he was trying to gaze into your soul. "I'm—I'm sorry for your loss," he said, grappling for the right words. "Sena was a good friend."
"I didn't realize the two of you were so close," you told him. This was probably the most he'd ever said to your face, and you to him.
Changmin gave a small shrug. "We worked closely together, so it was kind of inevitable. How are you doing?"
You didn't think the conversation would last this long. "Oh, uhm, I'm fine." You inwardly knocked yourself over the head. He's probably just trying to be nice, Yn. "I mean—" you amended, "—I'm doing as well as you can imagine, I guess. Just lots of legal stuff and…" Her room. Cleaning out her room. Opening the lockbox. Reading her last will and testament for the fiftieth time.
When you didn't finish your sentence right away, he nodded again, shuffling on the balls of his feet. Was he feeling as awkward as you were? "I get that. Hey, if you—y'know, like, need anything—"
"You don't have to do that."
"What about coffee? Just… to talk."
Coffee? You considered him for a second. Before, you nor he had ever given any indication to the other that you acknowledged the other's presence. In fact, you confessed to Sena once that he intimidated you, even if he was just sitting there in your shared living room while pouring over JSTOR academic essays.
He was patient, you realized. Then you relented. "Okay. When's good for you?"
You thought you saw a glimmer of relief in his eyes, but that could have just been the afternoon sunlight. "Now?"
Your eyes widened a smidge, and you coughed. "Uhm now? I—I have class…?" You didn't, but the curve ball that was an impromptu coffee session with Ji Changmin wasn't something you needed right now.
His eyebrow lifted as if he didn't believe you. "Okay," he dragged out. "Tomorrow morning?" He offered as a counter.
Your brain did cartwheels in an attempt to figure out if you would have the willpower to do that. "Okay," you said. Better to get this out of the way, right?
"Do you know that one place on Magnolia?"
"The one across from the Eight Ball?" You perked up in recognition. You and Sena used to go all the time. The two of you liked to say that Magnolia was her street because it housed all her favorite places; just the thought of taking a stroll down it made your eyes water. "Yeah, Sena and I used to go all the time."
Changmin paused, his mouth opening, then closing.
You guessed what he was thinking. "It's fine if we go. I'm not gonna like, burst into tears or anything," you chuckled awkwardly, clearing your throat when excess tear fluid made you congested.
His lips pursed, impressing a dimple into his cheek. "Okay, only if you're sure."
"Yeah, I'm sure." It seemed that everything you said to people was something like a lie nowadays.
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It was late when you finally faced the lockbox.
The box was an unassuming hunk of metal, flat and slim and no bigger than a standard piece of paper. You warmed the key in your palm until it was hot to the touch and made your skin redden. The sky outside your apartment window had darkened to a blot of ink, the white shutters drawn shut to create a white paneled shield. You just finished up a very lazy dinner, washed up, and decided to confront the last thing on Sena's will.
The lockbox in the bank under my name goes to my sister, Yn Ln. She is the only one allowed access to it until she opens it; what she decides to do with the contents is her choice.
There must have been something important inside it, you reasoned, otherwise it wouldn't have been a part of the will and it wouldn't be under lock and a single key.
"What is this, Sena?" You asked aloud, venturing to twist the lock open with the key. The locking mechanism gave way, and you set the lock and key aside. The shorter end could slide open like a hidden door, and you peered into the dark depths, almost afraid of what you might find between its jaws.
You could make out the silhouettes of shapes at the bottom, the soft-cornered texture of a wad of bills. You reached in.
One of the things she had left for you in her will was all of the money in her savings account. It had shocked you to see the number—you always thought her only job was at the library, but clearly, she was not just on a librarian's salary.
Pulling out a stack of cash from the box was yet another thing that helped solidify in your mind that something was off. The confusion settled first, and then the betrayal. Had she not trusted you with this knowledge while she was alive? You were the one going into accounting and finance, and yet, she hid all of this money from you? Was she afraid of something? Afraid of judgment, of the law?
You tossed the twenties onto the table. The note slipped between the rubber band and the first piece read something along the lines of 'in case of emergency.'
You made a plunge into the box again. This time, you pulled out the last two things at the bottom, a standard white index card and a small, fabric pouch. The card displayed Sena's familiar scrawl:
You're probably wondering what any of this is, but if you're reading this, it means that something's gone wrong—like really wrong. The necklace in the pouch is super important. DON'T TAKE IT OFF. Don't let anyone touch it before you do. Don't trust anyone. This is really important to me, Yn. Please be safe; I love you.
x, sena.
Please be safe? Safe from who or what?
You held the note in your hand for a moment and couldn't believe this would be the last thing you received from her. It would be a tangible legacy, in a way, and you weren't sure how to feel about that. You moved the note to the table and turned your attention to the pouch.
You carefully tugged it open. She said it was a necklace, right?
"Oh," you voiced aloud while fishing out a thin, silver chain.
There was a pendant attached to the end with some heft to it. It was a deep, bloody red in the loose shape of a teardrop. There wasn't a sharp peak, but a slightly flat end on one side and a rounded end on the other. You would guess it was some kind of precious stone, but when you stared at it long enough, it looked like the color pulsed… like a heartbeat.
Your breath hitched.
Eyes narrowed, you held it up to the light by the chain. The vibrant red remained stagnant—perhaps you were just tired.
Don't let anyone touch it before you do. Don't take it off. Don't trust anyone.
Strange request about a necklace. For a moment, you wondered if your sister had indulged in some unsavory acts to achieve the numbers in her bank account and the previous stone in your hands. If you put this on, would you be counted as an accomplice to robbery?
"God, you just need to go to sleep, Yn," you muttered, swiftly clicking the chain into place around your neck. There was no way your sister would have anything to do with—
You froze.
From the other side of your shutters, you swore you heard the sound of shuffling. It wasn't unheard-of that the leaves and tree branches knocked against your second-floor window once in a while, but there hadn't been much wind as of late.
A chill spider-crawled up your spine as you strained your ears to hear more.
When you came up with nothing, you shoved the pendant under your shirt and cleaned up the lockbox. You had an early day tomorrow, after all; sleep was dire to face Changmin.
But as you crept into bed, you couldn't help but feel as if the stone on your sternum did have a heartbeat, and that something in the dark was watching you.
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#2—GHOSTS ONLY HAUNT.
YOU STEPPED FOOT ON MAGNOLIA STREET looking for signs of your sister.
The morning air was a little cooler as spring filtered into town, and it also meant that this street in particular would begin to swirl with baby pink petals from the trees of the street's namesake flowers. There weren't many people around on a Thursday morning, but the sun peered between the buildings to say hello, at least.
You were in good company.
"Hey."
"Holy shit—" you whipped around to find Changmin almost right behind you. Your heart stuttered against your ribcage, your hand flying to your sternum where the necklace was. You were still getting used to its presence.
He gave nothing away with his facial expression. Damn him.
"I didn't realize you'd be early," you breathed as you tried to get a grip on yourself. Did this guy just materialize out of thin air everywhere?
Tongue in cheek, he said, "Well, I couldn't really sleep, so I figured the morning air might freshen me up a bit. Shall we?" He gestured with his elbow and chin to the establishment to your right.
There sat the quaint, little coffee shop you'd both agreed on yesterday. This one was one of Sena's favorites. She always claimed that their blueberry scones were the best in the world.
When you didn't say anything for a little, he cleared his throat. "We don't have to, if you can't or don't want to."
You hadn't even realized you were being quiet. Thoughts had been muddled as of late. You cleared your throat and stumbled for the door. "No, we can go in."
Two cups of coffee arrived at your table seven minutes later in compostable cups and a pile of artificial sweetener packets and creamer. You straightened in your seat across from Changmin and began ripping open sweetener packets and wondering if you should have gotten something of substance to eat. (You had stared at the blueberry scones for a long minute before deciding that today was not the day you wanted to cry in front of someone, especially this someone in particular.)
Changmin moved his cup toward his side of the table but made no move to add sugar or cream, or to even drink it.
This place was so familiar to you that you knew exactly how many packets of cream and sweetener to mix in, and you gently blew a breath over the steam floating off the surface. When the liquid hit your tongue and your throat, its warmth enveloped your nerves in a warm embrace, assuring you everything was going to be okay. The emotion hit you like a freight train.
You pressed your thumb against the rear gland in your right eye and willed it away. "So uhm," you said, fanning your eyes gently as you attempted to pull yourself together in front of him, "what… what did you wanna talk about? If there was anything?"
He folded his arms over his chest while leaning back in his chair, and you thought you saw his gaze soften. "Why don't you take another sip?" His eyes went to the coffee. "It'll help."
You couldn't deny that suggestion, and you reached for your cup to take another small gulp. The breath you let out rattled.
This was a bad idea.
"Are you gonna be okay if I talk about Sena?"
You nursed the coffee cup in your hands and nodded slowly.
He eyed you for a moment, then relented. "Did she happen to leave anything that was marked for me? Before the—the accident, she said there was something she needed to tell me."
Something she needed to tell him? You racked your brain, eyes drilling into the wood grain of the coffee table between you two. The will hadn't mentioned anyone else but you. And all of the letters or notes from Sena that were given to you were all for you; the attorney would have handled the rest and mailed them off to anyone else she'd written something for.
You narrowed your eyes at him. "No, I can't think of anything. You say you were expecting something?"
The resolve in his eyes steeled over, and that little bit of softness you'd seen before disappeared as if it had never been there in the first place. You couldn't read him anymore. "Yes, I have her texts."
He fished out his phone from his pocket and you pursed your lips as he maneuvered to a screen of his and your sister's last messages to each other:
sena: i think i'm going back home soon, so i'll c u then changmin: okay that's fine changmin: wait ur still over there?? i thought u left already? sena: had to talk to someone abt the thing, but it was a dead end sena: just remind me that i have something to tell u changmin: what? sena: it'll be better if i said this in person
That was all Changmin let you see.
You leaned away from his phone, head reeling more from the fact that he knew she had been out of town and knew where she was and why she was there. Never mind the fact that apparently, Sena was holding onto important information for Changmin. You couldn't care less about that.
You supposed the texts were for him to prove to you he was telling you the truth. It wasn't like you weren't telling the truth either.
"Why was Sena out of town?" You asked him. "Did she ever go on any of those study abroad trips?"
Changmin paused, then something flickered in his eyes. "I think I showed you too much."
"I think you showed me too little."
"Yn, did she tell you anything about what she needed to tell me?"
You were going to push against him for your own agenda again, but the slight pressure in his tone made you think twice. There was something urgent in his words, his expression, his body language. You couldn't tell what it was, but something about this had to have been important.
Absentmindedly, your hand rubbed the area where the pendant sat on your chest beneath the collar of your shirt, and his eyes followed for a moment before flickering back up to your eyes. "No," you told him quietly. "She didn't tell me anything."
He must have believed you, because defeat shuddered across his face, and he said goodbye to leave. He didn't even take his coffee with him. Asshole.
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You told yourself it would be months before you could bring yourself to go through Sena's things, but after this morning's run-in with Changmin (because it wasn't even a session; you could hardly call it anything but a run-in because it lasted maybe ten minutes), you were determined to unlock her door and do some digging. Clearly, she was hiding more than her money and jewelry(?) from you.
Changmin… he completely ignored your questions confronting him about Sena's whereabouts and her purpose for traveling. You were getting more and more suspicious as to what your sister had been up to lately. Changmin had to be in on it, too, then. He had to be.
Sena's door took up your entire vision as you stood before it with the key in your hand.
You weren't entirely sure what you were expecting when you opened it, but it was as if she had never left. Everything was where she left it—plum-purple covers tucked beneath the mattress, vintage national park postcards hanging from fairy lights by wooden clothespins, jackets layered over the back of her desk chair. There was an empty mug on her desk with the remnants of a red lip tint on the edge, and you knew you weren't going to remember to take it out to the sink later.
The small shelf-nightstand hybrid next to her bed was filled to the brim with books and notebooks and magazines. You settled gingerly upon the edge of her bed, palms pressing against the comforter.
The room still smelled like your sister.
You took the small bottle of perfume on the nightstand and spritzed a little onto your wrist. You pressed it to your nose, letting the scent make your senses woozy. It wouldn't bring her back; it didn't smell exactly the same when it was on your skin.
You set the bottle back onto the nightstand, then lowered yourself to your knees to pull all of the books off the top shelf. You stuck your head into the empty cupboard—you weren't really sure what you were looking for.
All of the titles here were the normal things you remembered seeing her read: assorted mythologies, books on the occult and supernatural, her textbooks for anthropology and archeology. There were about a dozen and a half National Geographic magazines that you flipped through within the next two hours, as well, all of which turned up nothing of curiosity.
None of the bound books were notebooks of any kind.
You crawled over to her desk—rifled through those. Nothing. They were all school related and completely, utterly ordinary.
Disappointment weighed you down into her desk chair as you hit another dead end.
Was there nothing she could give you?
No, she's dead, you thought to yourself. You'd never known Sena to be a secretive person, especially with you—in fact, you were the quieter of the pair, and she always managed to coax the right things out of you.
Sometimes you had felt like the older sister because you handled so many of the logistics and practical things, but when the world became too scary, you could always count on running to her to feel safe again…
Safe.
Sena, were you ever safe? You were beginning to think not so much.
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"Do I need to file for a restraining order?"
It was getting ridiculous how many times you ran into Changmin in the past two weeks. It was outside the advising office, on your way to the store, in the hallway outside your finance lecture. And now, he loitered in the lobby of your apartment complex with a wired earbud in one ear and the other dangling freely.
He seemed to be unfazed by your remark as he peered over at you from beneath the brim of his cap. "What if I just live here?"
"But you don't," you huffed, coming to stop right in front of him. You had a feeling you would have definitely known if he moved into this building. "What do you want from me, Changmin? I'm not going to magically lead you to my sister's secret stash of whatever. I just want to get to class."
"Then go to class," he said simply. He gestured with the phone in his hand toward the door. "I'm not here for you."
You narrowed your eyes at him. Perhaps you were being a little silly, and this was just some weird trick your brain was playing on you to make you notice him more. "Answer me something."
"Only if you answer something for me."
"This isn't a negotiation."
"Worth a shot," he said with a sigh. "What shall I answer for you?"
"You and my sister weren't dating, were you?"
He must have choked on his own spit because he coughed, furiously thumping his chest. You would have laughed if this was any other circumstance, and if you and Changmin were friends (but you weren't). He shook his head at you. "No. Your sister wasn't interested in me like that and neither was I. We were strictly colleagues."
You cocked your head to the side. Colleagues… you let that marinate. "Okay, so did she have anyone she was seeing then? Just out of curiosity." A former lover you didn't know about would make sense, something like a Bonnie and Clyde situation maybe. Or perhaps you were chasing after ghosts to get a glimpse into the past.
"Someone I suspect, but I don't have their contact," he replied, mimicking your head tilt and narrowed eyes. "If you had her phone—"
"I don't."
"Ah, a shame then."
"Do you?"
"And why would I withhold such an important item from the next of kin?" He drawled.
Changmin suddenly jolted upright from the relaxed position he stood in. It was so abrupt, it gave your heart a start. "That's my cue."
You followed after him out the front doors. "What cue? Did you hear your microwave go off or something?"
You swore to God you saw his mouth curl up in amusement. But it might have been just your imagination. He yanked his other earbud out and lifted a hand in goodbye. "Something like that! See you around."
He disappeared around the corner before you could follow after him. Plus, you really did have a lecture to get to. (Wait, did he say that she was seeing someone—?)
You sighed, wondering if you should follow him… something in the back of your mind told you it would be safer not to.
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#3—MONSTERS AMONG MEN.
YOU SWORE JI CHANGMIN HAD TO BE a psychic with the amount of times he predicted your whereabouts. Every time you saw him in your vicinity, you and he shared either a verbal sparring match or stared one another down. He seemed amused by it; you were growing increasingly concerned, even if it was all just coincidence.
(There was this one time, on a Wednesday this past week, where you were the one who appeared at the anthropology department to see one of Sena's old professors. Changmin was there, as it was his major's headquarters, and shot you a curious glance. The meeting was innocent and an accident. No, you definitely weren't stalking him. Absolutely not.)
(It was interesting to consider whether both of you thought the other would lead you to something of Sena's. You were certain he knew more than he let on, and perhaps he thought the same of you… Shit, maybe you should invest in a taser.)
Additionally, the weird sounds around your apartment had increased. Sometimes when you walked around in the evenings, the hair on the back of your neck and your arms stood at attention, as if you could feel the gaze of someone or… something watching you. However, every time you turned to look, the crazier you were convinced you'd become.
It didn't help that the necklace Sena left for you kept mimicking your heart beat when you weren't paying attention. If you willed it to repeat the steady beat in the light so you could observe it up close, it would cease.
It was as if distance from your skin or touch left it without a heart to echo.
You were half certain you were losing your mind. It had to be all this stress and emotion overwhelming you.
Saturday morning, you decided to pick yourself up and go see your sister. The funeral home had called you earlier this week to say that her headstone was complete, so this would also serve as a trip to ensure everything was engraved correctly before it was placed over her grave. You dressed yourself up in a dark top and comfortable jeans, something you might be able to sit in on the grass as you lingered in her presence, even if she was dead.
Ever since you went through her things, you hadn't ventured into her room again. You thought it might preserve the way it looked, smelled, felt… preserve something of her.
Once you'd gone to the funeral parlor and management center at Elysium Memorial Park to confirm the engraving, you took a brisk walk up the hill to where you remembered Sena's plot to be. The sun peered out between clouds this morning, giving the sky a dual-toned appearance, one half a dark gray, and the other a gossamer yellow.
You started down the hill, head ducked to watch for any graves or hills so you didn't trample over other people's bodies. A bundle of flowers from the grocery store sat cradled in the crook of your arm—a bundle of pink carnations ("I'll never forget you") and dark crimson roses (mourning). You didn't often pay attention to the meaning of flowers, but you thought if you weren't able to choke anything out today, then at least they could speak for you.
Just as you neared the grave between oaks, you lifted your head, your footsteps slowing at the person who stood over your sister's grave. "You have got to be shitting me."
"Isn't it a sin to curse over someone's grave?" Changmin asked as you stopped short of where he was. There was a single stem of sunflower (adoration) seated at his feet on the bundle of earth that was Sena's resting place. "Well, I wouldn't know. That's not my expertise."
"What are you doing here?"
He gave a loose gesture with a flourished hand. "Visiting a friend. Don't leave on my account. She's your sister."
It was as if he could read your mind. You didn't count on anyone being here when you saw her, but he had a right to visit her, too. The bitterness seeping into your bones would have to be squandered for today; the universe just needed to stop making the two of you bump into each other.
You ignored the quickening pitter-patter of your heart and the necklace, and trudged over the grass to where he was.
You gently placed your bundle of flowers next to his, then straightened to stand beside him. The two of you stared at the patch in the ground in silence.
A frown etched itself onto his face, along with a crease between his brows. He seemed almost angry—at what, you couldn't tell. Not you, you hoped.
Quietly, you lowered yourself to the grass to sit down and be closer to her.
I miss you, you voiced into your head, as if you could transmit these thoughts to the dead body in the ground. I'm so… it's too much, Sena. I can't do this. I don't know what you want from me, I don't know what Changmin wants from me. The apartment is cold. Why didn't you tell me you were home all this time?
For the moment, you let your vision blur with tears.
You covered your mouth with your palm to dam the emotion inside, especially with someone else right next to you, but dignity be so fucking damned. Your body trembled with the weight of everything and beyond—you were Atlas carrying the world upon his shoulders. Pressure mounted in your cranium from how hard and freely you sobbed, your fingers pressed to your face to support your head as your tears wet the earth beneath you.
A presence lowered itself to the ground beside you, and Changmin remained politely quiet. He breathed in deeply, but you heard the slight tremble of his breath when he exhaled.
Maybe you were crying for the both of you.
After what seemed like eons, you sniffled, pawing at your puffy and reddened eyes with the sleeves of your shirt. You hadn't brought along any tissues or anything, an oversight.
You gathered your wits about you and clambered to your feet, your knees knocking together like a baby deer. Changmin still had his eyes pinned to the ground.
"Whatever the Hell you want from me," you told him hoarsely, "I don't care. Just leave me alone."
You watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. Without another word, you walked away to head back to the bus stop.
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Your skin prickled when you returned home. The air was oddly… off, and a strange smell lingered in the air. It was subtle, only becoming apparent to you with deep, focused inhales. The identity of the smell eluded you and it wasn't something you were familiar with.
You kicked the front door shut behind you, and noticed that the window was ajar. Had you accidentally left that open before you left?
Strange.
You padded across the room to peer out at the street below. There sat the usual tree that occupied the space in front of your window, the one that you assumed (hoped) was the thing making all of the noises outside the past few weeks. (Because if it wasn't that, you didn't want to know what it really was.)
The thought occurred to you that you might have opened the window before you left to air out whatever smell had crept through the air vents. Yes, that made a whole lot of sense.
Settling with that explanation, you cranked the window closed slightly, only leaving a sliver so you could muffle as much of the sounds outside as possible. This part of town wasn't the noisiest, luckily, but when there were vehicles that drove by, they tended to be loud for no reason.
You sighed, settling down onto your couch with your bag. The whole rest of your day was open, and the only thing you had thought of was to go see Sena.
The feeling of eyes on you loitered on your skin like an invisible ant crawling over your body somewhere. You swiped at your neck, rubbed your arm… you couldn't identify it when you swung around to observe your own home.
This was your home, wasn't it? Why did it feel like you weren't alone in it?
You were going to go close the window—
A shadow appeared on the ledge of your window sill and you let out a scream.
The mass gnarled its teeth at the sound, pouncing at you with claws and fangs that glinted in the daylight.
You scrambled backward on the couch, toward the opposite end, your heart throwing itself up against your ribcage. "What the fuck?" You breathed, trying to figure out what in the world it was.
Bad idea. Oh, baaaad. Bad. Bad. Bad idea.
You shouldn't have stared so long; then you wouldn't have realized it had multiple rows of teeth, a face pale as a full moon, and two beady eyes narrowed into slits. Saliva dripped from its maw and down its chin as it crawled on its haunches and arms to you.
It made a guttural noise, then lunged.
You swore and fell over the arm of the couch, dragging along the lamp on the side table. You tried to move your right leg off the arm—it didn't budge. Oh god, it had its claws in your pant leg—
"Mine," it snarled, surprisingly sentient. "Master wills it so."
You kicked it in its face and managed to scramble away, clutching the lamp in front of your body as a weapon.
It ran after you, and your body leapt into instinct.
You nearly slipped as you fumbled to your feet and tipped the coffee table over the creature. "What the fuck are you—SHIT."
Wood splinters exploded as the creature smashed clear through one of the legs and went careening for you.
"HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE," you begged, running for the kitchen and the block of knives in your sight.
Your knees hit the wood floor with a vengeance, and you had no time to mourn over bruised knees. You twisted around and just barely shoved the lamp between its jaws before it could enclose them around your neck—
Somebody pounded on your front door. "YN? YN!"
Familiar—that was all that went through your head. "HELP ME," you screeched, your hands growing slippery from the slobber. Desperation filled your veins and you gave a violent shove.
Your front door bursted open, the handle banging against the opposite wall and leaving a dent.
Changmin charged into the room with a dark look in his eyes, a swear on his tongue. "You're the little weasel who's been fucking with me."
The creature shifted his attention to Changmin. "Your Disgrace," it gave a mocking bow.
That seemed to be his ticker.
You couldn't comprehend what happened—only an exchange of blows, a blur of body mass—Changmin brawled with the creature on your floor and you dragged yourself behind the kitchen counter to hide. You reached for a knife from the knife block up above and pulled your knees to your chest, the sounds of snarling and wood breaking and bones cracking—then—complete silence.
You slapped a palm over your mouth, eyes going toward the ceiling to pray to anyone who could hear you.
This was when you died. The creature had killed Changmin and now it was coming back to finish what it started.
You held your breath with your eyes wide open. You strained your ears. The sound of a sigh met your ears, one that was oh-so familiar to you.
"Shit," came Changmin's voice. "Yn. Yn? Yn, where…?"
He rounded the counter, his hair sticking up in different directions and a large tear at the top of his shirt, but other than that, he seemed no worse for wear. He eyed the knife pointed outward at him, and he showed you his palms as if placating a rattlesnake. "Woah, hey, it's okay. It's gone now."
Your body trembled from head to toe with all of the pent up fear and adrenaline. You shook your head, your hand still clapped over your mouth to keep your screams or cries in.
Changmin lowered himself to your level slowly. "Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise, it's gone and you're okay now. Let's put the knife down."
You slowly, slowly brought your extended hand down, letting the blade point toward the ground and away from the man in front of you. "What—" you choked, "—what was—who are—"
His facial features arranged into something short of stress. "It's a long story…" He roughed a hand through his bangs. "That thing back there? Yn, that was a demon."
You blinked.
He exhaled sharply. "I'm a demon."
"Don't fuck with me."
"You think I'm fucking with you?"
Your free hand clutched at the pendant around your neck. "You—you don't look like that thing though."
He gave a nod. "Right, I don't. I'm… a different kind of demon." When you remained quiet, he prodded, "You're not going to fight back? You're not gonna tell me you're going crazy?"
"Oh, I know I'm going crazy," you nodded vigorously, wiping away the snot that dribbled down your nose inelegantly. He reached over the counter to grab the roll of paper towels and slide it over to you in an act of (rare) kindness. Your head made contact with the cabinet behind you. "Is the carcass lying on my living room floor, Changmin? Tell me it is not lying on my living room floor."
"It's not."
"Then where the fuck is it?"
He licked his lips, closing his eyes. "It escaped."
"Out the window?"
"No, through a portal—"
You wheezed, and you were sure you looked half mad to him. "Oh my god, I really am off my rocker." A portal. A portal! Of course it was a portal.
He pinned you with a look. "Yn. Yn, listen to me. You're not safe here."
"No shit. I almost died two minutes ago." You saw his unimpressed expression and forced an apology out of your mouth. "Sorry. Humor is a coping mechanism. You can't just tell me demons exist without me thinking we've both gone absolutely insane."
Changmin settled into a more comfortable position on the floor, gripping onto the edge of the counter behind his head. "Yeah, your sister reacted similarly when she found out."
Everything came to a screeching halt.
"What?"
He stuck his tongue in his cheek. "Supernatural creatures exist. The ones that you read about in books and in myths and legends, and watch in silly movies and TV shows?" He gestured wide with both his arms. "They exist—we exist."
You could hear your heartbeat thundering in your ears. You swallowed. "And she… she knew this?"
A nod. "Yes. We've all been walking among you this whole time."
"What does this have to do with Sena?" What did any of this have to do with your sister? Was this even worse than you imagined it was?
He pursed his lips, exposing the little mole beneath his bottom lip for a moment. "Sena and I were… business partners. We were in the bounty hunting business, essentially."
There were words coming out of his mouth, but it was too much. All of it hit your head and fell straight to the floor, and none of it truly sank into your sense of reality.
Sena was a supernatural bounty hunter? And she died while on a case. A personal one, he said—?
"—I was coming over to show you something when I felt my trap get triggered."
"Wait, wait, wait," you cut in. "Trap?"
"I've been hunting that demon for weeks now," he explained to you, but the words were coming out slowly like he was reluctant to let them go. "It's been… avoiding me, and I tracked it to your apartment and realized what, or who, it was after." His teeth ran over his bottom lip and his eyes narrowed on you. "You're wearing it, aren't you? The pendant?"
On instinct, your hand shot up to your sternum. "How the Hell—"
"That's what Sena and I were looking for." His sharp, feline gaze remained pinned on you as you slowly lifted the chain to take the pendant out. It glistened like a fat, red ruby in the daylight. "What did she tell you about it?"
"Absolutely nothing," you said plainly. You set the knife on the ground beside you and adjusted your sitting position with a shaky exhale. "Except that I shouldn't let anyone touch it before me, that I shouldn't take it off, and to not—trust anyone."
You stiffened when Changmin reached for something in his back pocket.
"Relax, this is what I wanted to show you." He held his hands up after retrieving a cream-colored envelope from his back pocket, majorly bent and crumpled in some portions, but intact for the most part. He slid the envelope across the kitchen floor to you, and you immediately recognized your sister's handwriting.
You gingerly picked it up off the ground and inspected it. It couldn't have been forged—the way she wrote her R's were too distinct. She was so weird about always writing capital R's even if it was supposed to be lowercase.
You opened the flap and tugged out the letter inside. As you made your way down the note, it came to you that this was his evidence. This was his evidence that Sena knew him personally and that, according to past-Sena, you could trust him.
Your fingers shook as you pushed the letter back into the fold, and you shoved the envelope back over to him. "Okay," you muttered. "What now?"
Something akin to relief washed over his face. "She didn't tell you anything about the pendant? Nothing?"
You shook your head, fondling the stone between your fingers. "No. I found it in the lockbox she left for me with cash and a small note."
"Lockbox?" He perked up. "Are you certain there wasn't anything else in there? Not a second stone or a second necklace? Nothing?"
Your eyebrows furrowed in thought, and you pressed your thumb and forefinger to your closed eyes when they began to sting from dehydration. "No. It was just those three things I mentioned earlier. Why?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," you said. "I am absolutely sure. You don't think I turned that thing upside down?"
Changmin stood up and began to pace around his side of the kitchen, his head buried in his two palms. "Oh fuck," you heard his muttered swear.
"What is it?"
He rubbed his hands down his face, and it reset him to that careful blankness from before. "Do you trust me?"
"No," came your automatic answer.
He rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "Your sister was after something important before she died. She—she was supposed to update me about it when she got back, but she never did." He carded a hand through his hair again. "It could reveal to us more about what happened. Didn't she mention anything about how important this was?"
He wasn't wrong, unfortunately. Sena wrote it plainly in her final note to you about how important this necklace was, and keeping it with you. You supposed you could dash out any thought that she stole this from a bank or jewelry store… a mortal one, at least.
What the fuck was this thing made of?
You enclosed your fist around the stone. "So what are you saying?"
"We need to finish what she started." He considered something for a moment, then added, "And you're not safe here."
Something panged in your chest. "I'm not teaming up with you."
Changmin took a couple steps toward you and from this distance, there was an unmistakable ferocity in his gaze. "I would agree with you, but unfortunately, if I want answers and the pendant, then I'm stuck with you."
Your blood pressure spiked. "You're such an ass."
"Ass or not," he drawled, "you can stay here and risk that cretin coming back for you, or you can come with me, and we can figure out what the Hell happened to your sister."
Your bones, your joints—everything ached as you clambered to your feet. God, you were tired. A grave sort of determination trickled into your mind, though, at the thought of getting away from this. It didn't seem like there was much other choice anyway.
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#4—SURVIVE THE NIGHT.
IT WAS LATE WHEN THE CAR pulled into the motel parking lot. Your ass was on fire from the long drive, and your mind hazy from sleep deprivation. Fear kept you awake for the entirety of the eight hour trek between home and nowhere. You would have worried about Changmin in the driver's seat, but considering you found out he was a supernatural being literally eight hours ago, your worries consoled themselves.
"This was the best out of the selection," he murmured, barely audibly, as he put the car in park. The glow from the motel lights was the only light for miles, and the red-violet from the neon sign washed over Changmin's sharp side profile like a grungy teen thriller show.
A yawn stretched out of you and you reached for your seatbelt. "Wasn't complaining."
He sent you a pointed look. It was a silent "Really?" You pointedly ignored it.
The two of you clambered out of the car and you massaged your back and butt with reprieve. Your hand reached for the red ruby settled beneath the fabric of your T-shirt, the warm stone solid and present between your fingers. Changmin slammed his side of the car closed as he slung his bag over his shoulder, and you were swift to follow his lead.
Your fingers drummed against the side of your pants just as the main office came into view. There was someone seated behind the front desk with her head buried in her phone and Candy Crush on the screen. You and Changmin walked up to the counter and her head flicked upward.
Her eyes darted between you two and something or other clicked in her head. "Room for two?" She droned, already clacking away on her computer screen.
"Yes please," you sighed. You knew there was no way you were getting around her assumptions.
She smacked the gum in the side of her cheek, twirling around in her chair to reach for a key on the wall behind her. "It'll be thirty bucks," she said, sliding the key across the counter, "and we don't have condoms."
You and Changmin both coughed, heat rushing to your face. "None needed," he muttered as he slid a twenty and ten dollar bill over to her.
You collected the key and checked for the room number. Sleep crept into the corners of your eyes again and they were starting to sting from dehydration.
Changmin eyed you from his peripheral vision and nodded his silent thanks to the girl. He swept an arm loosely around your shoulders to guide you back out to the night beyond the main office. The room you were assigned was on the second floor of a building just a little ways down the complex. It was outfitted with a single queen-sized bed and bathroom, and the lights fortunately worked well enough. You couldn't decide if it was a good thing that you were too tired to assess the cleanliness of this room, but you made a beeline for the bathroom.
"I'm taking a shower," you announced, already closing the door.
The last thing you heard was his grunt from the other side.
You dumped your backpack on the lid of the toilet then braced your forearms on the sink counter. The lights in here were a dull gray and made you look sickly in the mirror. Dark bags hung beneath your pinkened eyes—the receptionist probably thought you were drunk or high. Exhaustion hit you like a bus, your limbs sluggish and heavy.
So much had happened in the past 48 hours.
You ripped the shower curtain back and fiddled around with the shower until cold water spouted from the top.
Changmin was a demon. He was Hellspawn. You'd messed around with the idea of him being a pain in the ass before, but you never expected his demon-ness to be true.
When the water warmed as much as it could, you stepped beneath its drizzle. The ruby pendant from your sister sat on your sternum, safe and warm, and you watched it pulse with a glowing scarlet beneath the stream of water.
Your sister.
A few weeks ago, you watched her body lowered into a ditch in the ground. A little before that, you were told her death had been an accident. Now, you were on the run.
From who or what? You weren't completely sure. That was what Changmin was here for. Well, technically he was here for the necklace your sister left with you, but after what happened at your apartment that caused the two of you to go on the run, here you and the necklace were. Plus, the note your sister left explicitly instructed that the necklace be kept with you—on you. (You still weren't too certain of anything.)
When your fingers began to prune, you reluctantly stepped out of the shower to slip on a new set of clothes from your backpack. You went through the motions of getting ready to sleep, too, mind fuzzy and unable to make sense of anything.
You wrestled down a sigh and desire to cry. You were tired, for fuck's sake, you were so tired.
But when you opened the bathroom door, flicking the light off, you paused. The room was dark.
Your breath hitched in your throat and the hair on the back of your neck stood at attention. Heart pounding, you took a step into the main room.
"Chang—" A palm closed around your mouth, another cupping the back of your head.
Panicpanicpanic—
A warm breath by your ear. "Calm down. It's just me." Changmin.
Fucking Hell.
You found his eyes as yours grew more accustomed to the dark. His head twisted over his shoulder to the window by the door where you could see silhouettes walking past, silent and stalking.
"Someone's here," he exhaled as he slowly removed his hand from over your mouth. His dark bangs hung in his eyes, his mouth set in a firm line. "They can sense the pendant, I think."
Your heart thundered against your ribcage—ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom—
Changmin's head whipped back toward you and he fished something out of his pocket. He reached for your hand, closing your fingers around something cold and metal. "Slowly put your backpack down and barricade yourself in the closet over there," he instructed quietly, finger pointing in the direction of the sliding doors just to your left. "If it comes to it, use the knife, Yn."
You bit your tongue to keep your breathing as steady as possible. Your hands shook around the switchblade he'd passed to you, and under his sharp eyes, you carefully lowered your bag to the ground without making as much noise as you could. Then, with his go-ahead, you crept as quietly as possible toward the closet.
Just as you reached for the slot in the door, all Hell broke loose.
The window shattered open, the door kicked off its hinges. Your entire body tensed as you dropped to the floor behind the bed, clutching the knife in front of you.
Changmin swore, nice and loud.
Shadows pummeled him to the ground until he was tangled in darkness, like nightmares brought to life. You saw a flash of claws in your view, your scream caught in your throat.
"You."
A blur of shadow whisked across your vision and your eyes went wide.
The creature crawled over the bed and pounced toward you—you rolled away from him, blade held out in front of your body. Oh, there was an awful wave of déjà vu coming over you.
"You are a difficult being to find, pet," the creature hissed. You were beginning to make out its features now—dagger-like eyes, claws that could easily rip flesh apart like cloth, and a maw of knives for teeth. Shit straight out of nightmares.
It cocked its head at you, crouching on the floor a few feet away. Why hadn't it attacked you yet?
"Curious," its scratchy voice croaked. "The master will be pleased when the asset is brought home to her."
The asset? It must have meant the necklace.
You heard a snarl from your right, and in horror, noted the thick, dark liquid splattered all over Changmin's clothes and body. When he snarled at the demons holding him down, you spotted the gleam of fangs.
"What do you want from me?" Your voice trembled, returning back to your main problem. The necklace sat warm and present, the pulses matching your racing heartbeat.
The creature released a sound like grating metal, something akin to a laugh. "Your guardian is more dangerous than he appears," he said instead while tilting its head to the side. "Clever being, that one. Master will be pleased when we bring his rotted corpse home."
You didn't anticipate how quickly it would move. You screamed as the creature dove for you and you swung out of the way. Its claws dug into the meat of your thigh, clinging to the flesh there with all of its might.
Fear struck painfully through your chest and you desperately twisted around to stab the blade into the side of the creature's neck.
It screeched. You drew the knife out to impale it in the back area, messily splattering an arc of its black blood everywhere.
You sucked in a sob as you scrambled backward. Its body dragged along the ground from its claws still sunken into your leg. The body was limp, but your nose wrinkled from the acrid, hot smell reeking from the corpse. It smelled burnt.
You peered at the blade in your fist with new eyes. The silver glowed gold in the darkened room; you shouldn't have expected anything less. Why did you think a mortal weapon could defend you from demonic creatures?
"YN!"
Too late.
Claws sunk into the sides of your throat and trapped your voice there. You thrashed around; panic stabbed your chest. Pathetically, desperately, you reached your arm back to try and drill the blade of your knife into the creature behind you.
Hot blood squelched down your throat—you were losing feeling there. Numb numb numb—it hurt, oh fuck, you were going to die—
All at once, the pressure subsided.
Breath could only flood into your lungs as quickly as blood spilled from your throat. You were choking, eyes wide up at the ceiling.
This was it, this was it. Maybe you'd see your sister in Hell.
A face appeared above you, sweaty but familiar. Your blurry vision couldn't make out the emotions on his face, but you could hear him… boy, could you hear him.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he cursed, rustling around and adjusting his position above your body.
His rough palms cupped your face. You could hear your heartbeat slowing in your ears. Ba-boom… ba-boom… ba… boom.
"Stay with me," he panted. His left hand pressed against that side of your neck to staunch the blood flow. He sucked in a breath and he ducked out of your view.
You felt a different wet sensation over your open wound. His tongue was rough, yet soothing as he lapped and sucked on the gouge in your throat. Feeling sparked in that area; you could feel your skin physically stitching itself together. If you could squirm, you would have.
He was swift to switch to your other side and copy those actions there. He groaned low against your skin, one hand cupping the side of your head to hold you in place.
Oxygen rushed through your lungs and you gasped. You tore your neck away from his mouth to dry retch. Blood dripped from the side of your lips to the dusty carpet. You had been asphyxiating on your own life force.
You flopped back onto your back, tears rolling down your cheeks as you gestured wildly at the steaming demon carcass still attached to your thigh. "Ple-please," you whimpered. "Please, get it off."
Changmin crawled onto his arms, sliding down toward your leg. "Yeah, sweetheart. I got it."
He looked up at you as he dug his fingers into the creature's skull, ready to pry the thing's claws from you. Something dark was smudged over his face—his nose, cheeks, across his eye. "It's gonna hurt," he warned, voice hoarse.
You moved your head in a microscopic nod.
Tears pricked at your vision, and your leg screamed. Blood filled your mouth even more from the force you used to clamp down on your tongue. Changmin was swift, but gentle as he removed each claw from your thigh, then tossed the body somewhere behind him. He lowered his face to your leg to carefully lap at your wounds like he'd done before.
When he was done, he flopped onto the floor with you, his sigh filling the awful silence.
You could feel everything. It was pulsing all over your body. Your skin, threading together, tingled and ached and throbbed. Your cheeks were damp with tear tracks and your fingers finally loosened their grip on the switchblade. Your mouth was coated in the metallic iron taste of blood.
The only familiar feeling was the pendant on your sternum. The bane of your existence.
"So you have magic spit?" You croaked, your voice scratchy from your sore and bruised throat.
You heard his huff, the closest thing you'd ever heard to a laugh from him. "It's regenerative," he exhaled deeply.
You snorted, then winced when it hurt.
If you could look up, you would've seen the corner of his lips twitch.
"Are you sure you're not a vampire?"
You heard a soft shuffling sound as he clambered upright to lean against the wall. His head thumped against it, eyes fluttered closed. "I don't drink blood, sweetheart."
"I didn't say you drank it."
You grimaced as you struggled to swallow. Reality was swooping in on you like a vulture above a carcass. Doom swirled in your stomach—you almost died just now. You choked on a sob, and you reached up to your face to brush away your tears.
Oh god, everything hurt.
"I want to go home," you whispered. It wasn't even to Changmin, just to whoever could hear you. Homehomehome, but where was home? They could find you anywhere.
A beat passed.
"I'm sorry." Changmin's head hung, either out of exhaustion or genuine regret. "I promised your sister I wouldn't get you involved."
You still couldn't move your head much, so you kept your gaze on the speckled ceiling. "What?"
"I have… had sisters."
You didn't hide your surprise. You didn't think you would ever get anything personal out of this guy, let alone the fact he had family. But his confession planted a seed of sympathy in you… maybe he was human before, or maybe he wasn't at all, but he had family. That had to count for something.
He released another haggard sigh. "So that was one of the few things we could agree on—keeping you out of this unless necessary."
Necessary. You should have never put on the necklace, should have never touched the cursed thing. Now, you were literally chained to it and its fate.
He went quiet again and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. You thought he was going to say something else, but instead, he rose to his feet. Taking slow, careful steps, he made his way over to your body.
"C'mon, let's get out of here," he murmured as he tucked his hands under your armpits to haul you upright.
You cursed under your breath at the ache and the blood rushing to your head. Your left leg was pretty much useless, and he had to cup the nape of your neck to his shoulder so you could lean on him.
"Can you walk?" He asked, his breath by your ear again.
You shook your head, pressing your mouth against the muscle of his shoulder. He smelled like demon blood, and you shifted to lean your cheek on him instead, holding in a gag at the wretched stench.
"Okay. Hold on a second."
He helped you sit down on the ledge of the bed, before going around the room to collect things. He plucked up your backpack from the floor, then his own bag, hoisting them both over his shoulders before returning to you. From your vantage, you could see all the limp demon corpses lying on the ground, unmoving. You wrestled down the bile creeping up your throat and looked away.
Changmin scooped you up in his arms with a grunt, and you looped yours around his upper body, tucking yourself into him. "We have to get out of here before someone comes to check this shit out," he said to you as he exited the room.
You gave a nod. "Aren't you tired? Hurt?" You asked, guilt and fear twisting something horrid in your chest.
"Don't worry about me."
"How could I not?"
His lips twitched. "Oh, so you care about me now?"
You closed your eyes against his shoulder. "Don't be an asshole."
"Sure, sweetheart." He made it to the car and instructed you to reach around his back to get the car key hanging from his bag strap. Changmin managed to get the car door open and deposited you in your seat. Your body molded into the material, exhaustion settling once more into your bones and joints.
In a blink, the two of you were back on the road.
Changmin carded a hand through his damp hair as he pulled out onto the barren street. You rolled your head to the side, eyes drinking him in. There were scratches over his exposed skin, barely there, but still present as if they had healed over already. His clothes were splotched and stained, as well as ripped in other places. And of course, there was the blood smeared all over his face, his neck. The bastard didn't even look fazed.
Right, demon. What did that even entail?
Your eyelids were beginning to droop, yanked down by the force of gravity and the human necessity to sleep. You didn't want to sleep though; you didn't want to be attacked a third time. Though most of the adrenaline had dissipated, your shoulders were still tense, your senses alert and unable to relax just yet.
Changmin glanced over at you briefly. "You should sleep."
You moved your head. "Can't," you rasped.
He reached over then, his palm warm against your head, as he gently brushed his thumb over your eyelids to coax them closed. "You're safe with me, Yn," he promised. You were reluctant to believe him, but after what just happened, at least you knew he could take care of himself and you.
Sleep was already coaxing you into its jaws to devour you, and the pendant under your shirt pulsed to a steady beat to encourage your descent. "Morning will come soon."
All you could do now was trust him.
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#5—THE ANGEL BLADE.
THE DINER OFF THE INTERSTATE was like the ones from the movies: red, vinyl seats that squelched when you scooted over them; blind fluorescent lights that flickered every time a fly died against them; people minding their own business as they hunched over grainy coffee and burgers that looked a little too good to be true. You sat across from Changmin, hands laced over the white table surface while he had his arms braided over his chest.
Another eight hours had passed since the motel. You'd found a rest stop to clean up and change clothes on the way, but when you could no longer deny your need for food, Changmin made the executive decision to feed the monster that was your stomach. Executive decision meant he was driving you somewhere to eat something so you wouldn't pass out from stubborn, self-induced hunger.
You're not gonna die if you want fries and chicken tenders, Yn, he'd said with a roll of his eyes.
Easy for him to say. He wasn't the target of every other supernatural being within a fifty mile radius. Perhaps by association, but still.
It was fascinating what a few hours of rest and magical demon saliva could do to help the human body. All of your wounds had pretty much closed up—albeit a tad sore, but nothing as awful as the pain you were in when being clawed in the moment. It was even more fascinating how alive Changmin looked despite literally not being alive. And the fact he hadn't slept a wink within the past day at least.
You, on the other hand, looked like a dumpster fire. Your hair was a bird's nest, eye bags more expensive than Louis Vuitton. Your stomach gave another whining growl; you'd ordered not five minutes ago with a middle-aged woman in too-bright red lipstick and a blue collared dress uniform.
"Are you sure you're not like, a vampire?"
His face dropped into a deadpan you'd seen before. "Oh my God."
"You can say His name?"
Your lips curled into a self-indulgent smile at the way he rolled his eyes so hard, he could probably see his brain back there. (If he had one.) "Sorry."
"You're not sorry," he said, eyebrow arching. "Do you have any real questions?"
Your hands shifted to your lap as your gaze moved to the window next to you. The sky was an ugly, sickly shade of gray-green. It reminded you of the lighting from the first Twilight movie, and you gagged at the thought. The bright red and neon of the diner clashed horridly with the sky, too. All of it was a little disconcerting.
Back in the car, when Changmin was first introducing you to the real world, he'd given you the short version of the supernatural who lived amongst oblivious humans. He hadn't gotten down to the nitty-gritty, just the shit he needed you to know so he could justify hauling you across the state, and to understand all the supernatural creatures after the little pendant resting beneath your shirt collar.
Two mugs of coffee were set onto your table, the dark liquid sloshing over the sides to stain the white below it.
You reached for your mug first, gently cooling it down with a breath. When you took a sip, gingerly, you grimaced. You somehow managed to wrestle the liquid down, but the searing bitterness was enough to make you push the cup away and reach for the sugar packets at the end of the table.
Changmin watched you in amusement, tongue poking the inside of his mouth.
You narrowed your eyes at him as you ripped a Stevia packet open. "What're you laughing at?"
"M'not laughing," he shrugged. He picked up his cup of coffee, clinked it against yours for good measure, then chugged the cup of shit in one sitting.
You watched in ill-concealed disgust, horror, and… maybe you were a little impressed.
When he set the drained cup on the table, he wiped his smug mouth with a napkin from the aluminum dispenser.
It was your turn to deadpan. "Show off," you muttered, stirring your artificial sweetener into the dark brown brew.
He shrugged again. "What? Like it's hard?"
"Oh my god, you can be funny."
Your chicken tenders arrived. Steam wafted from them and you closed your eyes to inhale the beautiful smell. Happiness on a plate, you liked to think.
Changmin thanked the waitress who had also delivered him a plate of blueberry pancakes. He eyed you quietly as you inhaled the food on your plate, despite the dull throbbing in your throat.
You caught his gaze, stopping mid-tender. "Want some?" You asked after swallowing the bite, gesturing to your fries.
He shook his head and began buttering up his hotcakes. "Nah. Have at it."
The two of you settled into a comfortable silence as you ate your separate meals. Changmin had told you before that demons didn't need all the typical things humans needed to "survive" or "live." Technically, since he was undead, there were only a handful of ways he could die. Eating and sleeping were necessary for human life, but they were more so preferences for him. If he wanted to eat, he could eat. If he wanted to close his eyes and dream, he could try.
The thought had you waving a fry at him. "The switchblade," you began, drawing his attention and pancake-stuffed cheeks, "what was it? It definitely wasn't something human-made."
Changmin swallowed his bite. "It was an angel blade."
"You're kidding," you drawled in disbelief.
He challenged your stare. "Believe it or not, it was. Forged up there." He lifted the prongs of his fork up toward the ceiling, shaking his bangs out of his eyes.
Your jaw dropped. "So the Big Man Upstairs does exist?"
"I mean, I don't really know. I've never met him if he does. I just know the angels are ruled by the Seraphim," he told you. "Lots of hierarchical bullshit I didn't care to pay attention to."
He impaled another piece of pancake. "Angel blades are one of the few things that can kill a creature like that."
"A demon?" You asked.
"Yes. Lower level demons are easier to kill, especially with a blade like the one I gave you." He shoved the bite into his cheek to continue, "That's why I was able to take on multiple at once."
You made a noise of indignation. "So you're telling me you're a higher level demon?"
His shoulders fell in a half-hearted shrug.
"Helpful," you muttered as you washed your meal down with bittersweet coffee. You paused for a moment, cleaning your fingers off with a napkin. "The… the licking thing."
Changmin's eyes could not meet yours. "Mhm."
"Do you… do you do that often?"
"No," he said curtly. "That party trick only works on humans and I don't really enjoy the taste of blood."
You pursed your lips at his rather clipped response. "Oh." You recalled the sound he'd made as he cleaned your blood up with his tongue at the motel… maybe it was something out of disgust. You suddenly felt out of place, like you had made his shoulders tense up and the air crackle. You racked your brain. "I—thanks, by the way."
With a cough, he murmured, "Welcome. Couldn't have you dying on me."
You nursed your coffee cup, reaching up to absentmindedly fondle the pendant under your shirt. "Yeah."
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"Have you ever met an angel?"
The car was quiet as Changmin peered over his shoulder to switch lanes, the blinker tick-tocking away until it was turned off. "Yeah."
You stared out the front windshield to count the white colored cars on the highway amongst you. "What're they like?"
"They're like every other species," he said, unenthused. "Some are more asshole-ish than others. You'll find good ones and bad ones." A sigh. "The ones I've met have largely been the latter though."
"Oh." You weren't sure if you were disappointed by that answer.
The diner had been less than half an hour ago and you were back on the road again. Yours and Changmin's ETA to your sister's safehouse was supposedly another five or so hours. You couldn't believe she owned safehouses. For fuck's sake, she lived with you for majority of the time before she went to study abroad… she probably wasn't even abroad all those times, you realized anxiously.
It was like he could sense your change in mood from bored curiosity to tense overthinking. He dug around in the pocket of his pants and handed you the pommel of the switchblade from the motel. Angel blade, he'd called it.
You glanced at him in question, but he only pushed it into your palms.
"Get comfortable with it," he said. "It's a decent size as far as angel blades goes, since those fuckers don't really like to give them up. It's good for self defense."
The blade looked like something one could buy at a gift shop, slim with some heft, painted a shiny white color. There was no logo on it, but if you looked at it from the right angle, it shimmered. You unlocked it and let the blade whip out of the slot. The blade was shaped like any other box cutter you've seen before, but the underside had a serrated edge for extra ease in slicing through tougher materials. Your finger ghosted over the glowing metal, silver warming to a yellow-orange, but only if you didn't blink in the daylight.
You killed a demon with this. The blade burned the creature.
"How'd you get this if they don't like giving these up?" You asked as you figured out how to put the blade back into its sheath.
His fingers drummed against the wheel. "Won it in a poker game," he said.
Your eyebrows lifted. "Seriously?"
You swore there was a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Seriously."
With nothing better to do, you flicked the blade in and out, in and out. You'd only ever really held blades in the kitchen and when opening packages. "Do you have a name for it?"
"A name?"
"Yeah," you said, shifting slightly in your seat as an ache crept into your spinal cord, "y'know like the fantasy books where they name their blades." You inspected the switchblade again, rotating it in your hands. "Looks like a Clyde."
Changmin let out a huff from his nose. "Clyde?"
"What? Got any better ideas?"
"How about we don't name dangerous utilities for murder," he drawled.
"I can't believe you didn't just say 'weapons.'" When he didn't answer you, you made an indignant little noise you hoped annoyed him and admired the angel blade in your hand in a new light. Clyde. Hi, Clyde. You're pretty.
"Don't tell me you're communicating with it," he said to you.
You ran your finger over the flat side again with a fond smile—just to annoy him. "It doesn't give me lip."
A sigh. He tended to do that a lot. "How's your neck?"
Your hand lifted to your throat and massaged it lightly. "It's doing alright. Does it still look bruised?"
You tilted your neck so he could take a good look at it. He eyed the span of flesh there, his dark irises taking on a strange tint. The corner of his mouth curled downward as he turned his focus back to the road. "Yeah."
"It doesn't hurt as bad anymore, if that's any better."
"I guess," he grumbled. "Humans are so fragile."
"Hey man," you huffed, "is it my fault that I don't have magic spit or my skin doesn't heal fast—"
"How many times do I have to tell you? It's not magic spit. That's just how human biology reacts to demon saliva." Changmin tapped the back of his hand on the steering wheel as a vague gesture.
You shifted in your seat to look at him and so that you could take pressure off one side of your back. "I have a question. Why does demon saliva have healing properties when usually lore says that you guys are opposite in nature? Actually, that kind of sounds prejudicial," you thought aloud.
"It is prejudicial," he replied. "Well, mostly. It depends on the demon, but we're just like any other species. It's just that most pop culture depicts us as evil. Demons and vampires are derivations of each other in that—"
"So you are a vampire!"
He didn't even try to counter you this time. "Both species have saliva that can heal wounds, not large wounds, but you can probably imagine that vampires use it to seal puncture marks post-meal."
That made sense to you. "But why do demons need it?"
"Human blood…" he trailed off for a moment as he narrowly missed a car zooming past, his glaring eyes trailing after them, "...is like our saliva. It regenerates us. It's kind of like an energy drink, so it's not a necessity, but more so like a luxury or privilege."
You swallowed and you could've sworn you heard a soft huff from his mouth like a laugh. The thought of your blood being like an energy drink for him—and he'd literally licked your wounds clean at the motel that night. Was that how he was able to heal so quickly? It was a marvel he hadn't drunk you dry. But then again, he'd also said blood wasn't his taste…?
"Are you sure you don't like human blood?" You asked, sounding like a broken record, but more apprehensively this time.
"Sweetheart, you really think you'd still be here if I did?"
Touché.
Out of the corner of your eye, you caught Changmin stiffen. His hands tightened the slightest amount around the steering wheel, his eyes darting from the front windshield to the rearview mirror.
"What?" You asked, taking a look through the side mirror on your side. "What's wrong?"
Changmin's face washed over in a careful blankness. "We're being followed."
Your whole body tensed and you had to physically restrain yourself from twisting around in your seat. "What?"
"Hey, stay calm." He flicked his turn signal on casually as he exited off the freeway.
"Why are you telling them where we're going?!" He was literally signaling to whoever was following you exactly your next move.
"Just because we're on the run, doesn't mean we shouldn't follow basic driving safety."
You sent him a very emboldened stink eye. "Out of all the times, you choose now to have a sense of humor and to be an upstanding citizen?" Where was this during the entire road trip thus far?
Changmin made no other comments as he turned right onto the street leading further away from the freeway. You sat quietly for a moment, monitoring the cars behind you from your side mirror. Your knee started bouncing as you took note of the white sedan following behind, not tailgating, but its intentions were clear enough where even you could pick it out.
"What're we gonna do?" You murmured.
Changmin glanced over at you briefly. "We're gonna be fine. We just have to lose them."
"No shit."
"And you say I give you lip?"
Without any forewarning, Changmin jerked the car to the left, practically zooming across the intersection to catch the yellow light. Your whole body sailed across the center console, and before you could give him a piece of your mind, he was sending you crashing into your doorway from another sharp turn. You glared daggers at him, but turned to peer out your window.
The white car was still following after you. They must have run the red light then.
Changmin's sharp eyes sliced across the rearview mirror, and his foot lowered on the gas pedal like a challenge. His eyes whipped back and forth for somewhere he could go next, brain working double the speed. "Hold onto something, sweetheart."
"I don't think that would—HELPPP!" You sputtered and yanked on the handle above the door, hugging yourself to that side of the car.
You could hear the tires of Changmin's car burn rubber and squeal as he zigzagged through streets. You were pretty sure half of this was residential, you thought as the landscape blurred past.
"Do you even know where—" You swore as your body flailed around from another one of his god awful swerves, "—we are?"
He shook his head and floored the gas. "Nope."
Great.
It was about fifteen minutes of this supposed drag racing before his driving finally began to even out. You were seconds from hurling up diner food when you realized…
"Where the fuck did the trees come from?" You asked, lowering your tense form from the door handle.
You pressed your nose against the window to gawk up at the towering trees on your side of the vehicle, all dark green and beautiful. A light fog clung to some of the leaves, making the sunlight streaming through them look like golden strands of gossamer. The road you drove on held to the side of the mountain, but from what you could tell, Changmin had officially lost the white sedan.
Changmin visibly relaxed. "You might wanna pull up a GPS."
You reached over to your phone in the cupholder. But you pretty much tossed it right back. "No bars. Where did you take us?" You didn't even realize there was so much forest in this area. How come you hadn't seen it from the highway?
He gave a sigh, raking a hand through his hair. "Shit."
The car sunk into silence. Changmin could do nothing else but follow the road until you hit civilization or some kind of sign as to where you two were. You hadn't been in this part of the state before, so it wasn't like you could point out any landmarks. But as you both continued along, you settled into a sort of calm—the trees here were beautiful, untouched by man. Even from inside the car, you could feel the serenity.
Your finger pressed down on the button on your door to lower the window. You stuck your head out, hair flowing behind you. With a great inhale, your mouth broke into a smile. It smelled just as gorgeous as it looked. Fresh and clean and—
"You've got to be shitting me."
You pulled yourself back into the car and raised the window back up. "What?"
Changmin's mouth was set in a firm line, a dimple pressing deep into his cheek. "Wolves."
Your brows knitted together. "Huh?"
"We're in wolf shifter territory."
Just as he said this to you, the car rounded the side of the bend and revealed a large green sign that read: WELCOME TO MOONSTONE CREAK! Population 276.
The sign following it did not make you feel any better: CAMPERS! BEWARE OF WOLVES.
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#6—BEWARE OF WOLVES.
AT THE FIRST SIGN OF WOLVES, you sunk low in your seat. You'd made eye contact with one of the furry creatures hidden in the brush, their sharp predator eyes narrowing at the sight of a foreign entity in their woods.
"By wolf shifters," you said quietly, holding onto Clyde in your lap, "you mean like… werewolves?"
Changmin's eyes stayed on the road ahead, but every once in a while, you would catch him scanning the forest, too. "Those aren't the same things. Werewolves are the things you read about in lore, half-man and half-wolf. Wolf shifters can change completely from man to wolf and vice versa."
"Oh." Well, that cleared some things up. "I'm guessing they don't take kindly to trespassers?"
He bit his lip. "I mean, it depends on the pack. If my hunch is right about where we are though, we shouldn't have to worry."
You gulped. "And if you aren't?"
"Well, I told you to get used to that angel blade, right?"
The trek further into the forest and mountains continued. The scenery around you was still as stunning as it was before, and you thought to yourself how dangerous a beautiful thing could be. Every time you peeked out of the car window, you saw a flash of something in the woods beyond the road. There had to be a reason why they hadn't attacked the car yet, right? If this was a pack of wolves who didn't like trespassers, then why were you and Changmin still alive?
Maybe they wanted you in a place where there was no chance of outsiders hearing you scream…
Your intrusive thoughts were getting to you.
There was a dead end, a near broken road sign and fence directing all passers-by that this was the end. Changmin was forced to take the off-road path, beaten into the dirt as it wound through the forest. If you didn't have signal up on the main road, you definitely would not have any here.
It was a few more minutes of traveling down the path that two wolves appeared before the car. Changmin brought the vehicle to a slow halt. The wolves were relatively large, spanning about six feet and about as tall as the bottom rim of the car door window. One of the wolves had black hair like a raven, and the other had hair like a field of grain.
Your heart stuttered in your chest as the wolves stared right at you. "Changmin…?"
He met their staring contest with little intimidation. "It's… it's fine. I think they recognize me."
After a moment, the two wolves broke their strange staring contest and trotted off to the side of the road. They were back so quickly, you almost didn't realize what had happened. Like magic, they had transformed into two toned young men, both nicely built with their lean upper body on display. They must have had a strategic stash of shorts hidden behind a tree for after they shifted to their human forms. One had cropped black hair, the other blond. Well, at least that made sense.
Changmin slumped in his chair, relieved. The corners of his mouth curled upward in an almost-smile, as the two wolf shifters came over to greet him at his window.
The brunette bent his head down to the window with a broad smile, the kind that made your stomach fill with butterflies. (Not to mention the eyeful of abs you and Changmin were getting…) He leaned his arms over the top of the car window, eyes flickering from the demon to you. "Long time no see, Changmin. Who's your friend?"
"That's Yn," your demon guardian said, clasping one of the man's hands in greeting. He reached for the second wolf shifter. "Haknyeon, nice to see you, too."
"Good to see you, Changmin" said the blond.
Oh, so he knew them.
Changmin gestured to the two men. "Yn, this is Kevin and Haknyeon. They're with the pack."
"Not that we're unhappy to see you," Kevin drawled, "but how did you find us?"
Okay, wait. If Changmin knew them, then why wouldn't he know the location of their pack? You sat quiet, waiting for someone to explain it to you… or just explain everything to you.
"Someone was following us and I lost them," Changmin told them, "but I managed to get us lost, too. Coincidence that we ended up here. I'm glad it's you guys and not another pack."
Kevin's eyebrows flew up. "Yeah, for sure. Well—" he turned his head up toward the treetops and scanned the skies. They were beginning to bruise like your skin as the sun sank somewhere amongst the trees and into the horizon. You hadn't even realized how dark it was starting to get. "—sun's already pretty low right now. Why don't you guys shack up with us tonight and then we'll help you out in the morning?"
"That would be great actually." Wow, really? You kept your surprise at bay. "Lead the way."
With no further discussion needed, Kevin and Haknyeon disappeared behind the same large tree trunk from before, then re-emerged as the wolves from before. Kevin, the one with black colored fur, pointed with his snout in the direction the path would take you. The two wolves began to trot down the path, and Changmin waited for them to get somewhat ahead before he flicked his headlights on and followed.
It was a curious act of consideration, you thought.
You watched as the wolves began to pick up speed, your eyes flickering to the speedometer. "So…" you drawled, "what the fuck just happened?"
A sharp huff, his version of a laugh. "They're old friends," he said.
"How'd you not know this was where their pack was if they're old friends?"
"I met them out of the pack," he explained. "It was somewhere in the New England area, and we just happened to be hunting the same thing."
Hunting? Oh, bounty hunter. Right. "And the—the shifting thing."
"What about it?"
You made a face of frustration. He always made you pull teeth when you wanted background information. "Everything."
He glanced at you. "I think it'd be better if one of them explained it to you. Better to have one of their own say it right than risk me getting something wrong."
That was, unfortunately, a very fair answer.
Instead of pushing on the wolf topic, you had more questions that he could answer. "So what now? Are we just gonna stay the night? Is it safe?" What if that white car found a way in here? Neither of you could see who the driver was, and so how could either of you be sure they weren't trying to perhaps get you both here? And if they also had the means to come in here without being marked as trespassers?
"It's safe," he said with such confidence that you arched your brows. He saw your expression, making a soft turn along the road as the wolves had, the pads of his fingers lifting off the steering wheel for a second in gesture. "I know what you're probably thinking, but it's safer than sleeping out in a motel off the highway, alright? Packs usually don't drive cars, and they have maybe one or two for convenience sake. They can smell trespassers from miles away, and they usually have people on watch all the time, which is how they found us so quickly."
You supposed that made sense. The forest here seemed denser, and with the quickly fading light, it made it all the more unnavigable. If you were to try to run… good fucking luck.
You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. As the car rounded the bend, yours and Changmin's faces illuminated with the glow of light.
The town was laid out flat before you, not over a ridge, not over a mountain, but a path that led into a central meeting place with wooden buildings all around it. The lights were all from candle-lit lanterns rather than the LEDs and fluorescents of the human world. There were a mixture of both wolves and people milling about, an air of warm cheeriness that you could feel even from the car. You felt a fuzziness manifest in your chest at the sight.
Kevin and Haknyeon directed Changmin toward a back road to the right behind a row of buildings. It was most likely to avoid getting in the way of the pack members, you guessed. You kept silent as you averted your eyes from the void-like darkness of the forest beyond to your right.
Up ahead, you saw the two wolves trot into a small paved area with one other car parked along the walkway. It seemed to be like a makeshift alleyway of sorts between two blocks of buildings. With some maneuvering, Changmin managed to parallel park into the space that was just big enough for his vehicle.
When he parked, he gestures for you to follow his lead and get out of the car. "You should be safe to come out with me. We'll probably meet the pack alpha and get everything settled—" His head tilted to the side, "—hopefully."
Your eyes shuttered. "Hopefully?" You echoed. Pack alpha? What the fuck did that entail? From what you remember in the books and shows, you thought to yourself as you clambered out of the car and stretched your sore limbs, wolf packs had an alpha that would lead everyone. You weren't sure if you would have to go through some kind of cult initiation or something to be granted permission to stay the night.
The angel blade sat tucked into the pocket of your pants along with your phone, and you slammed your car door shut. From here, you could peer down the alley and see out into the glowing atmosphere of the town center. It sounded like fun, actually—all of the chatter and laughter. You hadn't been anywhere so lively-sounding in awhile.
"Yn right?"
You startled a little, whirling around to find the brunette—Kevin was his name—smiling at you sheepishly. He was back in human form with a pair of shorts and a plain white T-shirt on. "Sorry I snuck up on you," he said.
"Oh, it's totally fine!" You laughed bashfully, smoothing a hand down your hair. "And yes, I'm Yn. You're Kevin, right?"
Man, he was so much prettier up close…
Kevin nodded. "Yeah, it's nice to meet you. Changmin says this is all pretty new to you." He gestured loosely to the world around him, an all encompassing notion to the entire world you had just unearthed beneath your nose.
Your eyes darted behind Kevin where Changmin and Haknyeon were gathered on the other side of the car, pulling yours and Changmin's bags out the backseat. Changmin caught your eyes, lifted his eyebrows, then returned to his conversation.
So he was just gonna leave you in the hands of the very handsome wolf shifter? Cool.
"Yeah, it's kind of a crazy story," you mused. Understatement of the century. "Thanks for taking us in, by the way.
"It's no worries," he chirped. "Changmin and us? We go back pretty far, I'd like to think."
"Oh, cool! He mentioned something about that… and something about meeting the pack alpha?"
Kevin's eyes flickered to something behind you, and you turned around to see what or who it was on instinct. "It's nothing to stress about—he's coming this way, actually."
You felt his hand, warm and large, gently settle between your shoulder blades to guide you toward the two men making their way down the alley toward you both.
One of them… well you could feel the subtle shift in the air. It was as if molecules in the air moved for him. He boasted a powerful sort of stature, with dark hair parted neatly to frame a carved face. For a moment, you didn't know if you were supposed to bow or something, but then he smiled, and you nearly fell over from that alone. He wasn't so scary once he smiled.
The man next to him was a lighter brunette with a cheery expression engraved onto his face as if that were his default setting. There was something about him, however—you thought he glowed a little in the dim light. The angel blade in your pocket seemed to warm slightly at the sight of him.
(So was everyone just super attractive in the supernatural world?)
"Changmin-ah," greeted the man with darker colored hair. He clasped his hand with Changmin's in greeting. "It's been awhile."
"It has," your demon counterpart agreed. "Thanks for taking us in on such short notice. I wouldn't have intruded had I known."
The man brushed the thought away. "It's okay, really. Nice to have a couple new faces around."
"Speaking of new faces," drawled the second man. He beamed a pretty smile your way, waving. "Hi, little one."
Something warm blossomed in your chest. "Hi," you said softly. You weren't certain of etiquette—if you were expected to speak for yourself, to bow…
But it seemed Kevin had your back. He clasped his warm hand on your shoulder. "This is Yn. She came in with Changmin."
"Nice to meet you, Yn. I'm Sangyeon." This was the man with black hair, who felt like the tangible version of power. He must have been the pack alpha. He had to be.
The other man placed a hand on his chest. "And I'm Jacob!"
"We're just looking for a place to stay for the night," Changmin piped up. He tucked his hands into his pockets, eyes shifting over to yours.
"Well, why don't we head over to the pack house and we can talk about all the details of a plan," said Sangyeon. He inclined his chin in the direction of where you assumed the pack house was. Then his eyes, you watched their keen movements, latched onto Kevin's as if they were communicating silently. "Yn," you nearly jolted when you realized he was addressing you. "Kevin's gonna take you to the small inn we have here. It'll give you a little more privacy, and I'm sure you've felt pretty overwhelmed."
It didn't sound like he was asking you, but there was a warmth to his smile. You couldn't help but feel inclined to agree.
Changmin's head went on a swivel. "Wait, she's not coming with us?"
Haknyeon and Jacob were already rounding on either side of him to guide him in the opposite direction Kevin was leading you. Something in the back of your head made you turn over your shoulder to look at him. Was being separated such a bad thing?
Haknyeon suddenly tossed Kevin your backpack, the latter shouldering it.
"Come on, Yn," Kevin chirped, angling his body as he nudged you along so you could no longer see Changmin. "There's a lovely hearth in the main lobby, and the auntie who runs the place makes the best cookies ever."
You nodded slowly as your brain struggled to think of any reason why they would separate you from Changmin. And why did he sound so surprised? Your hand drifted toward the pocket that hid your angel blade. "Oh, really? That sounds nice."
They didn't drug them, did they? Your shoulders tensed at the idea.
Why did they separate you and Changmin—
The inn was the building right outside the alley with a porch that spanned the front facade. The architecture reminded you of an upscale cabin with large oak logs piled atop each other to make up the structure. A warm light emitted from the front windows and glass doors, and you swore you could smell the cookies from here.
When you and Kevin entered the building, he called out a greeting to an older woman stationed behind a reception desk in the back corner. She greeted the both of you with a cordial smile, wiggling her fingers in a wave. Her head tilted curiously at you, however, her eyes zeroing in on…
Your attention was drawn away and you were directed toward the seating area on the other side of the lobby.
"Can I get you any water or anything?" Kevin asked you as he motioned for you to take a seat in the armchair adjacent to him. He set your backpack at your feet for you.
You lowered yourself onto the edge of the seat, hand reaching for the pendant beneath your shirt—you stopped short. Could he sense the power of the pendant? Was that why they separated you from your demon bodyguard? Oh fuck—
"Hey, hey," Kevin suddenly said softly, face morphing into an expression of concern. "No need to get panicked, okay? You're safe now."
Wait. What? You wrung your hands in your lap, heart still throwing itself up against your ribcage. "Safe? What do you mean safe? Safe from what?"
Kevin considered you for a moment, but the gentleness from his voice and body language never left. "You're safe from Changmin."
"Safe from Changmin?"
"Yes," he affirmed patiently. "The bruises on your neck—"
Your hand went to cover the side of your throat where it had been pierced by the maw of a demon, but not Changmin.
"—does he feed from you? They look fresh—"
You immediately put your hands up to gesticulate in wild opposition. "Oh, no, no, no. He—he didn't feed from me; he saved my life, actually. We were attacked by other demons and I was bleeding out, and he just closed the wounds. He… he isn't, uhm… yeah."
Kevin's posture changed, and his smile became relieved—sheepish even. "Well, shit. I'm sorry for assuming, Yn; it's just that a lot of people end up here because they're in unhealthy relationships, and I saw the marks on your neck and just assumed the worst." He cupped the back of his neck. "This must have been really confusing for you. Sorry about that."
Okay, now that made a lot more sense. Your adrenaline was slowly teetering out and the tension left your shoulders. "No, please, that's honestly really nice that you would help victims like this. It did give me a little scare, but… yeah no, this wasn't Changmin's doing."
"That eases my mind a lot," he chuckled. Then he turned and nodded to the auntie behind the reception desk. You watched as she disappeared out the doors of the inn. "She's just gonna let Sangyeon know that everything's good."
"I thought you said you and Changmin go way back…?" Did they not trust him?
Kevin leaned back in his armchair. "We do. It's just protocol, you know? Whether or not we know them, it doesn't matter."
That was good for victims, you thought. Though, you couldn't imagine what they were really discussing with Changmin then… "So Changmin…"
"Sangyeon, Jacob, and Haknyeon would have taken care of him if I told them he was harming you," he replied, lips pressed together. "They really are talking about how you both ended up here though—that, and plans for the morning."
It was like he could read your mind.
A lot had happened just now, and you were still reeling from the fact that you didn't need to prepare to run. Though, you were still hyperaware of Clyde's warmth in your pocket.
Kevin noticed your far-off expression. He leaned forward onto his knees, that kind smile of his curling onto his face and making you feel some sort of woozy. "I know it's probably been a lot for you. Do you have any questions for me?"
He was so different from Changmin. While with the demon getting information was like pulling teeth, here was Kevin offering you information. They were polar opposites, really. You wondered what it might have been like if Kevin had been the one to take you on this quest instead—your mind shuttered. What a strange thought. Changmin might have been a pain in your ass in the beginning (and still now), but… it wasn't like he hadn't protected you. You didn't know.
"I guess," you started, "what's gonna happen now?"
He thought about it for a moment. "Well, uhm, I think we're both gonna find out once Changmin gets back. See what they've all decided on. But for sure, you and he will be able to shack up here for the night."
You gave a slow nod. "Is Sangyeon the pack alpha? Kind of a stupid question—"
"It's not a stupid question at all," Kevin said. "But yes, he's the pack alpha. You can just consider him as a community leader, essentially."
"And you're all wolf shifters?"
A nod, then he paused, tilting his head. "Yes, but Jacob's not a wolf shifter; he's an angel."
Your eyebrows flew up. Everything was suddenly making a lot more sense. "An angel? So he and Changmin aren't, like, mortal enemies or anything?" You hadn't noticed any wings on him…
Kevin laughed. "Oh, you're cute. No, thankfully they are not mortal enemies. Jacob's too nice to have enemies."
"Even someone like Changmin?" You jested.
"Even someone like Changmin," he said, humoring you. "Speaking of the demon, you two aren't…?"
You sucked in a breath. "Definitely not. We're not together or anything. It's a long story, but our meeting and traveling together is just because of a common goal." You couldn't tell why the thought of you and Changmin being an item made your heart cartwheel. Perhaps it was simply the anxiety of being thought of as Changmin's significant other that made you want to jump to correct that assumption. Yes, that was it.
Kevin bit his bottom lip like he was trying to hide a smile. "Ah, I see. That's good to know."
"And why's that?" You asked.
You could have sworn if he was in wolf form, his ears would have been tucked against his head. "Nothing!" He insisted. "It would just be a shame to not take a chance when it's presented, you know?"
You weren't quite sure what he meant by that, but for some reason, you were eager to find out.
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It was late still when Changmin knocked on your open door, lingering on the threshold. You had just stepped out of the shower in the private en suite your accommodations had, a towel settled upon your shoulders to act as a barrier between your wet hair and dry clothes. He didn't look any worse for wear—then again, he never did.
"Everything okay with Kevin?" He asked, clearing his throat. You felt his eyes on you, scanning your body as if searching for any signs out of the ordinary.
You were searching for your phone charger in your bag. "Yeah, it was good. What—what happened with you?" You asked and lifted your eyes to meet his as you fondled the cord between your fingers.
He stuck his tongue in his cheek. "Well," he drawled, "Sangyeon offered to send a small group out to scout for any signs of our pursuers from today. In the meantime, we're invited to stay here to recuperate for a couple days. If not, then they'll restock our supplies and help us out of here."
"I'm guessing you already made a decision." You paused when you realized there weren't any outlets in this room. Anywhere. A curse fell from your lips and you dumped your cord and dead cell phone into your bag.
"I figured you could use the rest," he said.
Your head whipped upward.
He arched a brow at you. "If that's alright with you."
Was he really asking you? No buts, no ifs, no snark? "Yeah, that's fine with me."
"Maybe a couple days here will be good for your frail, human body anyway."
There it is. You rolled your eyes so far back, you swore you saw your brain waving at you. "And maybe some fake demon sleep will make you less grouchy."
You thought he smiled. It could have been a trick of the light or sleep deprivation. "Whatever."
Just when it seemed like he was about to turn and leave, he stopped. "Kevin's taken a liking to you."
You stilled, attention piqued. "Really? How could you tell?"
Changmin gauged your reaction, and again, you couldn't quite tell what he was thinking. "You need to sleep."
"Wait, you're just gonna ignore my—and he's gone." You huffed and collapsed onto the bed. It was awfully comfortable.
Leave it up to Changmin to leave you high and dry like that.
You rolled over the surface of the bed to close your door. Quietly, you went around the room to close the knobs of the lanterns to put out the lights like Kevin had showed you earlier. The only light now came from outside the window, the campfire and lanterns in the pack center streaming through the shutters to create an elongated stripe pattern along the walls and floors.
You climbed into bed—it was a strange, but welcomed feeling.
Only a couple days without a bed, yet it felt like years had passed. You could only hope you didn't wake up to a demon at your throat this time.
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#7—THE ONLY ONE.
WOLVES BEAT EVEN THE SUN from her slumber, you came to find out. The next morning, you rolled out of bed to hear the sound of muffled voices outside your window. Your body ached in places you didn't even think they could ache, and you stretched your arms up over your head as you opened the shutters.
Just a little off from your window stood a small gathering of creatures, both in human and wolf forms. You recognized Kevin as one of the human ones among them. It was the noise of your open shutter that had him turning his head up toward your window. He saw you there, and a smile blossomed on his face, bright and easy. He wasn't wearing a shirt again, as was the other man standing beside him. The other two in their group were wolves.
Kevin waved at you, catching the attention of the others with him. The man beside him beamed and waved, too.
You chuckled to yourself and returned the gesture.
Kevin beckoned you down with his hand.
You searched the window sill for the latch, muttering in triumph when you managed to notch it open.
He had walked over to stand directly below your window by the time you stuck your head out. "Good morning!" He chirped. "Good sleep?"
"Good morning, and so far I think so," you mused, unconsciously smoothing down your hair. You hadn't even checked the state of your bed head. Yikes.
"There's breakfast in the pack house if you'd like," he offered. "I can walk you over?"
You leaned your cheek against your fist. "Sounds great. Give me some time to get ready."
"Take your time!"
You locked the window back up, dropped the shutters, and hurried to get changed. It occurred to you, as you were getting yourself prepped and primed to face another day in a new world, that you hadn't felt so giddy in awhile. And about a boy nonetheless. The skip in your step was crazy to you, and—did you even have anything nice to wear?
You just managed to yank one of the nicer of your graphic tees over your head when you heard a knock at the door.
"Just a second!" You called, carding your fingers through your hair and separating into three so you could braid it out of your face.
You ripped the door open. "Hi."
Changmin stood on the other side looking slightly refreshed with his dark hair damp and plastered over his forehead. His eyes narrowed slightly at your lightened countenance, the way you actually cared about how you were doing your hair, the… everything. He sent you a look. "Breakfast is in the pack house, but I have a feeling you already knew that."
"Yeah, I was just headed down, actually." You stepped out into the hallway with him, closing your bedroom door behind you. Clyde sat in your pocket, replacing where your phone would have been stashed had it any use.
He cocked his head to the side. "You seem a lot more…" He made a gesture with one of his hands. "Alive."
"Well, considering I don't have magic regeneration—"
"Forget I said anything," he said, shaking his bangs from his eyes and beginning to walk down the corridor toward his room. "Go get sustenance, Yn."
A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. You watched him disappear into his room before you made your way to the stairs.
Kevin was waiting for you in the lobby, perking up when you appeared on the stairway landing and made your descent. He took a couple steps to meet you in the middle, and you noticed that he had found a shirt to put on. Damn. "Hope you like waffles," he said as the two of you fell into step beside each other to head out of the inn.
"Love 'em."
It seemed that the entirety of Moonstone Creak was awake, even at such an early hour. The sun had yet to even clamber up above the treetops, leaving the sky a soft mesh of purple and orange. The air was as fresh as it had been yesterday, cool and pure, washing your lungs and waking you up some more.
"Is everyone awake so early?" You asked him, inhaling as much of the peace as you could.
Kevin nodded. "Pretty much, unless you're just coming back from a night watch. We usually encourage the pups to come out and exercise with us."
"Us?"
"The pack's primary watch," he clarified. "You probably saw me talking to a few of them earlier."
"Ah," you hummed. "That's nice though. You're all such a lovely community… It's refreshing."
His eyes twinkled as he smiled at you. "Thank you. I like to think we're a really big family."
You could see as much. By the way Kevin greeted all of his fellow pack members, a part of you wondered what it might have been like to grow up somewhere like this instead of always chasing after safety and security.
You and your sister had always got by somehow, but it had never been like this. With your parents gone so early in both of your lives, you only really had each other to rely on, besides the occasional aunt and uncle who took turns caring for the both of you until your sister turned 18. And now with your sister gone?
For some reason, it felt like you were still taking care of her in death. But perhaps that was the cost of seeking closure.
You weren't sure what you were expecting when they said pack house, but what you saw was about what it sounded like it was going to be. It was similar to the inn and many of the buildings around the area with its log cabin likeness, but this one was much, much larger. You could hear the squeals of children from out here, and there were smaller wolves chasing each other's tails around the wraparound porch. A few stopped to sit and cock their heads at you as you passed, their tails tick-tocking behind them.
It was strange seeing wolves carry around infants and toddlers in their hulking jaws, too, and Kevin chuckled when you almost stopped in your tracks. "It's no harm to them, don't worry."
"Yeah," you laughed nervously, fingering the pendant at your sternum. "It'll take some getting used to. Are you born as a wolf or as a human?" You asked him as the two of you stepped up the front steps of the porch and walked through the entryway.
"Depends—woah, hey guys. Careful!" Kevin clicked his tongue as he caught and lifted one of the younger boys off his legs just before he accidentally knocked over a table holding a vase of flowers.
The kid and his friend giggled as Kevin put him down away from the table. "Sorry Kevin!" And they were gone, out the front door.
He shared a smile with you, cupping the back of his neck. "Where was I?" He gestured to your right down a hallway; you could smell the sweetness and buttery goodness of breakfast. "Oh, right. It depends: since wolves and humans are mammals, giving birth is a little easier than other non-mammal shifters."
"Non-mammal shifters?" Your eyebrows shot up. "What other shifters exist?"
"Any you can think of, to be honest," he said. "All pups learn about their own growth and development though, especially since learning to shift and stay in touch with both their animal and human sides is so integral. It would probably be better if I connected you with someone who identifies as female to talk about birth specifically though," he admitted.
The kitchen was painted a pale shade of yellow that reflected the golden rays of sun and made the whole room much warmer and brighter. There was a mishmash of wolves and humans milling about the central island where a buffet-style breakfast was being served. The variety of food before you was enough to make even—as you liked to think—Changmin's mouth water. (He didn't need to eat, your ass. You saw the blueberry pancakes on the far end and wondered if he had some yet.)
Kevin passed you one of the plates stacked at the end before grabbing one for himself. "Lily, thank you for breakfast!"
Lily, you identified, was the woman leaning against the sink with a pale blue apron tied around her waist and baby bump. "You're welcome! Haknyeonie helped out, too."
Haknyeon's blond head poked in from where he was partly hiding in the butler's pantry, his cheeks stuffed with food. "Hm?"
You laughed to yourself as you started off by transferring a waffle to your plate. "Yes, thank you so much for breakfast. It looks delicious."
"Oh, no need for that," Lily beamed as she came over to the island across from you and put more food onto your plate. "Take more, please. We have so much to go around."
"Oh," you blinked, watching Kevin start to pile things onto his own plate. "It's so much; I don't want to take more than I can finish—"
"I'll help you finish," Kevin offered, shoving a strawberry into his mouth. "I'm sorry if it seems like we're pressuring you, though. I guess we're all just used to making sure the other is fed around here."
You could melt like a slab of butter between two warm hotcakes. "Thank you—I appreciate the thought."
Kevin ruffled your hair as the two of you continued around your tour of the island. "Of course."
From the entryway you had just come in, Sangyeon arrived whistling an offhanded tune under his breath. "Good morning, everyone!"
"Good morning!" Chorused around the kitchen at differing intervals as everyone greeted their pack alpha.
Sangyeon beelined around the island and over to Lily, the two of them exchanging fond touches and a warm kiss in greeting. "Morning, love."
"Good morning," Lily said. "Eaten yet?"
The dots connected in your head and you nudged Kevin as the two of you finished up at the island. "Lily and Sangyeon—?"
"Yeah, she's our alpha female," Kevin confirmed. "Six months pregnant. They celebrated nuptials about a year ago."
"Ah." You didn't mean to stare, but they were such a beautiful couple. Though you thought Sangyeon's smile was warm, it was nothing compared to the one he saved just for his partner.
He must have felt your eyes on him, and he lifted his gaze to yours while he held one of Lily's hands. "Yn, sleep well?"
Your eyes widened. "Oh, uh, yes. Yes, thank you."
"All of your accommodations are to your satisfaction, I hope?"
"More than satisfied," you stammered with a sheepish smile; he was talking to you, right? Everything was way beyond what you had been living with for the past couple of days. A demon-infested motel or this? Well, no competition there. You could still feel the impression of Changmin's passenger seat in your back.
Sangyeon nodded. "Good, I'm glad to hear that. I was hoping to speak with you and Changmin after breakfast about your situation. It'll be with myself and my closest advisors, plus the two of you."
"Yes, of course," you said. "Does Changmin already know?"
"I'll have someone run and let him know."
You and Kevin were dismissed to go forth with breakfast. The two of you settled in a room next door to the kitchen fitted with a long dining table that reminded you of a cartoon rich people banquet table. You sat adjacent to each other, Kevin at the head, and you with the seat to his left.
You smeared butter over the slots of your waffle. "Do I have to worry about what Sangyeon's gonna talk about at the meeting?"
Kevin shoved his bite into his cheek. "To my knowledge, no, but if you're worried, Sangyeon's advisors are a pretty cool crowd."
"Oh yeah?" You asked.
His lips turned up as he chewed. "Mhm," he hummed before swallowing, "I should know since I'm one of them."
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Sangyeon had an office deep within the first floor of the pack house. It was tucked away somewhere between the living room in the back and the door down to the wine cellar. (Kevin joked that the first pack alpha had planned the layout of the first floor deliberately.)
Following your hearty breakfast, you found yourself seated in one of the armchairs in the leader's office chambers, amongst Changmin (in the chair next to you) and the other members of the so-called inner circle. Kevin lingered nearby, leaning against the office's hearth with his arms and ankles crossed idly. It seemed that the advising board included not just Kevin, but also Jacob, Lily, and someone named Juyeon. You learned that he was out on night guard when you came in last night, so you weren't able to properly meet him until now.
Sangyeon stood next to the office chair seated behind the grand, mahogany desk; Lily was automatically given the chair because of her pregnancy, and because she'd been working all morning. "Concerning the white sedan you said was trailing after you two yesterday—" he said, "—none of our scouts could follow a solid scent past the freeway entrance. It was interesting, actually."
Changmin leaned forward onto his forearms. "How so?" He asked, eyebrows creasing.
Sangyeon nodded to Juyeon, who filled in, "Well, we couldn't figure out what their scent is."
"How is that even possible?"
You blinked, brain whirring into overdrive. There was something you were missing yet again. What was the context here?
Kevin stepped over to your side and murmured to you, "We can usually pick apart scents to identify the layers, so this is why it's… concerning."
"Ah," you nodded. "Thanks."
"It was distinct for sure," Juyeon supplied with a vague gesture of his hands, "but it was nearly impossible to tell what species they were. It was easy enough picking apart the entity from the car smells—" Exhaust fumes, metal, seats, you assumed, "—and we could follow the smell as far as the entrance to the highway you guys came from, but…" He shook his head. "No-go. In all my years, I've never come across anything like it."
The helplessness that settled into the grooves of the room made you squirm, and your fingers fondled the red pendant at your collar again. Here was a space of the all-powerful, and yet, something as simple as a scent was throwing them all for a loop. You couldn't begin to wrap your head around the implications, because, well—you didn't know the implications.
(Dark. You were always sitting in the dark.)
Changmin passed you a glance, and you couldn't tell what he was thinking, as usual. "There has to be a way to somehow analyze it. Could we consult a witch?"
"I've already called an old friend," said Lily. "They're on their way over presently."
"Could I see the pendant?" Jacob's voice carried out into the room. Though he himself was soft-spoken, one could not mistake his volume. Everyone's attention cut over to you, and you wanted to be swallowed up by the earth beneath your feet. "If that's okay," he added. "It feels familiar."
"Feels?" You echoed, gripping the stone in your hand. The chain dug into the flesh of your neck as you anxiously yanked on it.
Changmin's eyes darted from the stone to you. "What do you think?"
"What do I think?" You were overwhelmed; that was what you thought. You fisted it in your hand, suddenly reluctant to part with the thing that had caused you so much trouble as of late. You felt… an uncanny urge to keep it in your possession. "Uhm… you can see it, but I won't take it off."
Your devilish counterpart narrowed his eyes slightly, cocked his head to the side, at your behavior. He didn't say anything though, as if this truly was just all your decision. Perhaps this was because he knew that you weren't exactly buddies with these people yet. In retrospect, they were still strangers, and thus, potential threats to you.
Jacob took easy strides over to you from where he was standing by the desk. He passed you a reassuring smile as he knelt in front of you, close enough that you could see the eyelashes brush his cheeks. There was something warm radiating from him, and you swore you saw a flash of gold in his eyes.
Angel, right.
He rose up on his knees, holding out his hand, but not touching you. "May I?"
You pinched the part of the pendant attached to the chain and stuck it out toward him.
Jacob's eyebrows knitted together as he touched the pendant with only the tips of his fingers. You held your breath throughout the entirety of his assessment. When he finally leaned back onto his haunches, you blinked away whatever angelic warmth still lingered. "Juyeon, come smell the pendant."
Your eyes widened. "Uhm—"
"Hold on, what?"
"Wait, Jacob."
The latter two responses came from Changmin and Kevin, respectively, the two startling at Jacob's request.
There was a swift exchange of glances between everyone else and the alpha wolves in the room.
Lily said, "Yn?"
"Why are we sniffing the pendant now?" You asked, finding your voice.
Jacob looked up innocently. "Sorry, I probably should have explained myself. I think it might smell like the scent Juyeon was trying to track."
Something in the room shifted. You glanced down at the pendant in your grip and the questions in your head accumulated and accumulated and accumulated. What in Hell did you get me into, Sena?
"Okay," you said, "you can… smell the pendant."
You weren't sure why he couldn't smell it from where he was, but he took a couple steps over to you and replaced Jacob's position. Changmin's hand appeared on the arm of your chair as he leaned forward slightly.
Juyeon took a cautionary sniff, and his eyes widened. "That's it. It's—it was slightly different, but similar enough where it has to be the same entity." He looked up at you. "Is this the only one of its kind?"
You met Changmin's eyes.
He looked away first. "No."
Your gaze became earnest in his direction, and if you could, you would burn twin holes in the side of his head like a snakebite. More shit he hadn't told you. Were you surprised?
No? What did he mean no?
"We need to talk," you forced out of gritted teeth, gripping onto the arm of his chair now.
He passed you a glance. Later.
"Well, we can only really assume that the person following you was most likely after the pendant," Jacob said plainly as he stood from the ground and dusted off his pants. "But now that we know the origin of the scent, per se, it'll make the hunt a little easier."
Sangyeon gave a bob of his head. "Kevin, you're leading the search party for the day."
Kevin's head perked up, hand on the back of your chair. "But—"
A single look from his leader made his mouth snap closed.
"Yes, sir," Kevin murmured with a shallow nod of acknowledgement. He gave the back of your chair a small pat, then departed without another word from the office. You thought you could feel his presence leave your side, from the room. All of this feeling… was this how the supernatural operated? Was this what a sixth sense entailed all along?
"Juyeon—" the man in question raised his head, "—go find where Haknyeon and Eric are." Sangyeon scratched his temple with a sigh that sounded suspiciously like exasperation. "Grab them and round up the pups."
Juyeon brightened. "Are we taking them down to the creak?"
Lily nodded her approval. "Ooh, nice idea. Yn and Changmin, you're both free to join us. It's lovely down there."
You forced your hand to fall away from the pendant, but not before tucking it back beneath the collar of your shirt. It felt too exposed out here, sitting on your sternum for all to see. You nodded though, trying for a small smile. "Sure, sounds nice."
Sangyeon patted the desktop. "Excellent! The two of you can continue to make yourselves at home."
Though this was a physical conclusion to the meeting, your stomach continued to sit uncomfortably. This conversation should not have been over so quickly… right? Was there not more to discuss? Perhaps not now then. Maybe it was better to take your time letting this all sink in.
"Ah, before the two of you go join the little ones," Jacob cut in. He shot Changmin a pointed look. "You owe me something."
Changmin roughed a hand through his bangs, but you could have sworn his lips curled up with a smile. "Aish… your memory."
"It never fails me when I need it."
You glanced between the two; Changmin did owe you yet another explanation, but if there was something these two planned to settle… "What? What is it this time?"
Jacob grinned, and you definitely hadn't been hallucinating when you saw flickers of gold in his irises. "He owes me a sparring match."
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a/n: i am clasping my hands in prayer for a reblog, comment, or ask. take a moment to grab a snack, drink some water, and head over to the second part! thanks for reading
read part two here (if it's not linked yet, refresh and it'll be at the top)
permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @zzoguri @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @bless-311 @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @justalildumpling @jaerisdiction @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @outrologist @vernonburger @maessseongs @ericlvr @kflixnet
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st4rguy · 11 months ago
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1, 4, 10, 11, 12, 17, 18, 19, 23, 29, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 48, 68, 88, 89, 92, 93, 98 for the homestuck thing ^^ feel free to skip anything if u want lol
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@sleepy-kitty-boy lets gooooo sorry this took so long answers under the cut
original post -> st4rguy.tumblr.com/post/743052789002977280
1: When did you first get into Homestuck? around mid-October last year, I think I had started reading previously but got like. 20 pages in.
4: Ever made your own chumhandle? yeah, I have, it's cosmopoieticQuestant. idk if it's a good one and I don't use it for anything but l like big fancy words and its abbreviation would be CQ and because I'm a fucking nerd that makes me happy. uhh cosmopoietic is a word I really like it means universe-creating so yeahg 👍
10: Ever drank Faygo? No, I have not ever :P
11: Favorite Alpha kid? mmm that's a tough choice but probably Jane?? I find her fascinating like I could write an essay about her.
12: Favorite Alpha troll? Meenah. she's funny, spunky and fun to draw. I like to give her an anglerfish antenna just because why not. Her and (Vriska)'s relationship is. fascinating. Her Aranea are adorable tho.
17: Favorite Beta kid? Egbert probably? I love them equallyyyy
18: Favorite Beta troll? uahgh. thats difficult. honestly, I don't know.
19: Favorite Beta character overall? I simply could not pick.
23: Favorite guardian? MOM. ROXY. ok like. y'ever think about like. how she likely knew she was going to die. And she basically raised Joey and Jude from when she was a teenager. and we don't know how their story ends yet. I think about her quite a bit.
29: Favorite Friendsim character? HAVE MY LIST: CIRAVA, BRONYA, SKYLA, POLYPA, KONYYL, TYZIAS, AZDAJA, TIRONA, MARSTI, CHARUN, WANSHI, DARAYA AAAAND LANQUE. <- troll call order btw. I loooove them
33: Favorite pale ship? I'll have to go with the classic and say meowrails. you can't beat them.
34: Favorite pitch ship? JANEVRIS. rarepair blast attack!
35: Favorite flushed ship? scratch n sniff perhaps. idk sure I like em.
36: Favorite ashen ship? good question i love the Ashen quadrant I do not know
37: Favourite vacillating ship? KONYYL AND AZDAJA. I know no one cares but I love them. idk if they "vacillate" per se if you ask me they have like. whatever the signless and the disciple had going on. KONYYL LITERALLY SHARES HER THEME WITH THE DISCIPLE.
48: Zodiac troll? Are you happy with them?: I'm born on the cancer-leo cusp so Karkat or Nepeta I love those guys
68: Classpect you identify with currently? uhhh page of space probably. I'm bad at classpects but it fascinates me nonetheless.
88: Favorite Homestuck fics? Early June by RoseGardenofEden, Detective Pony by sonnetstuck and Pilot Light, Pale Rapture by purplebard (series) to name a few
89: Favorite Homestuck fanartists? missbehaviourOuO, conceptofjoy, tgcg, dammarchy211, teethcritter, serfuzzypushover, and like a bunch more
92: Favorite typing quirk? MEENAH FEFERI OR NEPETA. I LOVE PUNS. THEY INFECTED ME WITH THEIR STUPID PUNS. and they are also just cool 👍
93: Favorite MSPFA? burning down the house! idk if it counts really it's not hosted on mspfa but that's probably the most apt description and I think it's really cool and would highly recommend it
98: What characters do you relate most to? Aradia maybe? I tend to go through spells where I feel really detached and apathetic. yk. depression. but uh that's kinda heavy! I also am fascinated by dead things, as well as diseases and fungus and bugs and shit like that but they kinda scare me.
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afreakingdork · 11 months ago
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I got so excited when I saw you updated Weak Spot that I actually almost puked while in the middle of reading 👍👍. Sorry I cant express how much I adore your work but you make really really really good stuff. Thats 3 reallys cuz I mean it a lot. Legitimately life changing I think I might even use the reader character and donnie as a reference point on how to approach communication better in the future, like, in general, not just in romantic relationships.
I think you're one of the very few long fic writers who my frustratingly impatient and short-attentioned brain was actually willing go wait for on every chapter, I've never read a fic that gripped me by the neck this strongly since I've left the Undertale fandom. Weak spot is just that good and I think I'll crave everything you have to provide as long as you're willing to share them with us readers.
Oh yeah and also as young adult I really look up to you btw, in general because I like the bright yet tempered energy you show through your posts and also I think your work ethic is admirable and the fact that you're very literate in the way you respond to ask as well (kind of expected since you're a seasoned writer after all, of course youre very literate), and also, as someone who's attempting to actually down my fic ideas and day dreams, I've recently been trying to look just a bit closer on your work and how you approach descriptions and dialogue and learn better that way, kind of like how artists do master studies and observe and attempt to replicate experienced artist's techniques, quirks and art style to apply to their own work as well. Currently I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate that use of metaphors you do often to sort of indirectly and almost abstractly describe what someone is going through, like in this week's chapter 56 where Donnie's self exploration is described as a journey with Reader simply accompanying them to a certain point. This is my favorite part in each chapters you write and I know there's a term for this technique but that might distract me from my train of thought so uhm. Make of that as you will I suppose.
I especially love how maturity really shines through your work and I love how slow and almost inconsequential/very normal (yet tremendously intimate) their daily life as a couple and honestly, in a lot of romance books I see I dont think they highlight that part enough and I'm so glad you let the readers breathe between chapters while still being able to build up tension when something bigs about to happen. I'm assuming (though I am pretty sure) that this is probably born from years and years of writing considering this is a type of writing paired with that mature energy I was picking up is something I could rarely find in the fics (or books in general) made by teens and people my age, and thats pretty incredible. I've never seen characters treated so very clearly lovingly before and whenever I compare my current work as of now it feels like playing in a kiddie pool then being met with the experience of looking on into the deep blue waters from the white beach then deciding to run to the sea to see the near-immortal multi-colored corals and all the beautiful thriving life underneath the waves. Its exhilarating really. Theres a depth in your work that makes it feel alive and almost timeless which I'm extremely motivated to achieve basically. Considering you've never let on or at least hinted that you're a professional writer irl or anything like that at all, and the fact that you somewhat implied you write because of passion is incredible because that means (this is all assumption of course) that you've likely been doing this stuff for years for free out of love and (likely) for yourself which is. Actually crazy honestly, as someone whos very prone to giving up even if I'm passionate about my work.
Okay, wait, this is getting too long, whoopsie.
I kinda want to say more but unfortunately I dont have the energy to type everything down since my mushy emotions about the fic are hard to pin down enough to make a coherent description right now. Ah and sorry if this ask gets a bit incoherent at times, english is my 2nd language and I'm also not very good at spelling either 😅.
But yeah.
Thank you for taking the time to make each chapter a wonderful, awe inspiring experience Miss Dork, you're a fantastic writer and I'm hoping I'll be able to see more of your fics/works in the future, even if its not in the Rottmnt fandom.
-K.M
First off KM, you are SO FREAKING SWEET!!! WHAT A TREAT IT WAS TO READ ALL THIS!!! YOU ARE TRULY DARLING AND I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH!!!!
Ah no puke!! Was this chapter nerve wracking?? When I write I get a little removed so I don't really know sometimes what emotions it might illicit...
Life changing? Ahhh! 💞 They always say communication is key to a relationship and sometimes when people harp on something it's absolutely because it's true! A big part of Weak Spot is I wanted to challenge myself that the relationship itself was never a point of contention. These two loved each other right off the bat and them being together was never going to be something contested. Now everything around them happens to be an on and off dumpster fire, but c'est fiction~
Wah!!! I'm truly so honored by everyone who seems to wait on pin and poodles for my writing! I am constantly in awe that you all want to read my silly indulgent story!
You look up to me? I'm going to cry for real. No like, no joke, reading this actually is making me a bit choked up! 😭💞 I'd love to dive into my experience if it might help. I would not shun being called an experienced writer as it's something I've done on and off for almost two decades, but I only began writing seriously (read hyperfixiating) since 2019. Since I have zero chill, I sort of speed ran the writing process, but that's not what I attribute to my media literacy. I don't know if I'd call myself a hypercritical person (some would call me that for sure), but I have always loved to examine the media I consume. I can absolutely turn my brain off and have a good time (I have a long love affair with 'bad movies'), but I also love thinking and love expanding. When it came to reading, I often trend toward fiction books that talk about peoples lives, Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe and Eva Luna by Isabel Allende come to mind, in addition to autobiographies such as Just Kids by Patti Smith. For visual media, my friends often like to joke that no one can pin down my style because I happen to like such a broad range of films. I think all movies are good in different ways, whether they are indie, autobiographical, fictional, magical, poignant, bro comedies, ect and so forth. You mentioned the recent chapter (56) with the field metaphor. I watched Lamb (2021) this past October and was picturing the large estate pictured Iceland when writing it.
I think studying others writing styles is good and I often do it to my peers. I've surely geeked out to both TheKingPen and desceros about their own writing styles and metaphors, the like, as you described of mine! I asked them probing questions on how they work because I was/am endlessly fascinated by their prose! We're all sponges, humans I mean, and I believe that our lives are pinball machines where we bounced wildly off one another. Only we are malleable creatures and with each ping, we take a little bit of that other person with us. Whether that be actual people or media consume, I consider that the same. We're tapestries to be woven as the Greeks said about fate and this fact isn't just romanticized, it's science as indicated by epigenetics!
The technique you're searching for sounds like one under the house of metaphor, maybe extended? 🤔
It's funny you call me mature because as soon as you said "slow and almost inconsequential/very normal (yet tremendously intimate) their daily life" I literally screamed and bounced as if my tail was wagging! Hello, you've tapped something Dork is feral about so prepare for another tangent:
I am OBSESSED with what I call banal dialog!!!
Now this is a point of contention with many of my movie friends, but I will die on this hill any day of the week. For this example, I'm going to take one of my favorites: Reservoir Dogs (1992)! Now do I like Reservoir Dogs? Honestly? Meh. I'll never forget their use of Steeler's Wheel, but that's not what's important here. What's important is the opening scene! We open on a seemingly innocuous and, to many, boring scene with eight gangster at a diner who aren't even talking about the heist. They're talking about other things and interacting with their food and the wait staff at the diner. Some think this scene is useless and doesn't do anything for the film and I will punch every one of those people in the face with my ferocity alone. That scene does EVERYTHING for the film. In fact is does the most heavy lifting out of most scenes in Hollywood. Sure, a monologue can do wonders or a silent following of a character through say their morning routine reveals a lot, but you know what really fucking reveals the most about a person? How they act in public!! The fact that Mr Pink doesn't tip isn't some fucking pseudo speak on tipping in America (though it could be) it's a jumping off point for you to know EVERYTHING about his character in one tiny itty bitty seemingly nothing display! We know he's staunch. We know he's steadfast. We know EVERYTHING we need to know about his personality and BONUS? Because he pushed back against the norm, every other character at the table (if they wanted) got a chance to voice their opionions so we got reads on all their personalities too. We see one many get easily swayed, we see another show his intelligence, we see yet another show the level of sympathy he has. All these things end up dictating how the heist in the movie actually goes and why and it all came from a few paltry minutes at the beginning of the film where they ate breakfast!
UNF JUST TALKING ABOUT IT HAS MY HEART AFLUTTER!
Now the most lethal Reservoir Dogs for this purpose (btw fuck Quentin Tarantino) because it is WITH PURPOSE! You can't just be banal for nothing. You have to be banal for a reason. I've been pretty outspoken about it before, but I also don't believe films/movies/shows/ect should ever have scenes without purpose. Everything that's done should serve the plot! Banal moments SERVE PLOT and I think it's a very underutilized concept.
Honorable mention to Hayao Miyazaki and his art of silence. I mentioned it above in following a character, but Miyazaki (and typically other Japense directors) know when to let scenes 'breathe' so to speak which does what banal dialog does in a literary sense. The breathing gives perspective for both the characters and the audience and I think is very much worth throwing into this conversation.
Also hey, look! You did a metaphor right there with your deep waters comparison. I could see it though I would totally disagree with your kiddie pool reference to yourself. You will never be me and i will never be you. Your work has just a right to exist as any other and who knows, I might have read it if you've put it out! I might recommend it to other people! I'm a big fan of many works, whether they're 'good or not' (whatever that means) that doesn't mean they don't have place! There are fics I've read that story wise or say writing wise are a TOTAL MESS and I love them regardless because maybe their character portrayal was flawless or their idea was just so good I loved that they were creative enough to share it!
Plus and I don't mean this is a braggadocios kinda way, but no one and I mean NO ONE should compare themselves to me. This is written in a derogatory sense: I am not a normal human being. One of my best friends asks me all the time "how are you still alive?" and my answer is "I DON'T KNOW MAN!" I am not someone to look up to or someone to emulate. I am just feral and hungry and no one in the this world, not even me, can get a handle on this leash.
That being said, I am so blown away by how you describe my work! Consider me shifted from choked up to misty eyed! I am not a professional writer by any means, but I'd love to turn my work into books. I just have no idea how to break into the market! I definitely do this all out of love (READ HYPERFIXATION!) and yeah for free (not discounting my pateron folks, I love you endlessly forever, but it ain't a living though it is IMMENSELY appreciated! Ya'll pay for the patreons I sub to and like a fast food meal once a month XD)
No apologies for the length! It was such a blast to get this! Also you did AMAZING! I was never confused once and your thoughts had a clear through line without being confusing in the slightest! Your English is impeccable!
Thank you for taking the time to read and write to me!!! Def got more fics coming (Valentine's fic, a aroace Mikey fic that also happens to be a Donnie x reader, and more weak spot and her sequel!)!
Feel free to hit up my DMs if you want to talk more! Thank you again!!!!
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starlightkun · 1 year ago
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omg omg omg okay so im like in the middle of my final exams before im done with highschool but i need to tell you all about the fics that you have been releasing because wOW.
okay BUZZER BEATER
GOD THOSE TWO ARE SO FLUFFY. i dont have chronic illness but the way you described it just reminds me of starting adhd meds where i had to take so many pills at random intervals during the day and felt awful 24/7 and how im afraid that going into uni, people are going to ask for my meds for recreational purposes (which makes me so mad btw cause like i need meds to live dont ask for medication that is in limited supply so you can get lit but anyways). But yeah i didn't know that much about migraines other than the fact that its terrible but yeah the way you wrote mc was so beautiful and relatable and im just so sorry that you have to be burdened by these migraines and spend so much time and energy managing it. The way you wrote sungchan though was beautiful. his character is absolutely the most pure and loving guy (whilst also being a loserboy) and the fact that he did not question or judge or put pressure on mc ever was so healing. just watching him be so open with his affection and just blatantly pine for mc without any reservations about it makes me really want a sungchan of my own now. I just want a cute, sweet, uncomplicated, loserboy so i can just live my life in both sickness and health and not be judged by what hurdles my body choses to throw at me today (my psychiatrist was saying my stomach is just really sensitive so thats why ive been going through hell which is sucky but at least i have answers and know what to avoid lmao). But yeah thank you for writing something so beautiful about an experience that i felt so alone in having, because now i feel less guilty about struggling with my own health and most importantly less alone.
now onto Dr Magic!
dear lord jesus if i felt seen by buzzer beater, ive never felt more out of my depths by Dr Magic. Its such a hilarious fic and renjun and mc are both so insane and crazy but in a way thats realistic (i go to one of the top high schools in australia and there are people here who are so dedicated to school the same way renjun and mc). The way renjun just wants mc to spit in his mouth, I swear ive met boys like that too. also the steamy makeout sesh?! soft renjunnie with caring and dominant reader who asks for consent?! mc is so sexy for that, i love her. Also! your description of renjun wearing a yellow hoodie, jeans and a red cap was so scrumptious that i embodied mc in that moment and wanted to eat him whole also. the scene where renjun owns up to the mean things he said to mc whilst mc talks about spitting in his mouth in front of TEN?! shes so confident and strong despite being hurt and i love that for her. i really love how in your fics, you mix humor with maturity to create such well rounded works that really celebrate being wild and having fun whilst also being a grown and mature person. just like you, i could never be renjun and mc but im happy for them and what they have.
side note: thank you for being pro palestine, i know being pro palestine is a simple thing and a low bar to set for myself in finding good people in the world, but with all the people in power and celebrities (cough eric nam cough) publicly supporting the genocide that is happening, im very glad to find others who see the horrors for what it is.
-✨anon
yeah i will always be anti-genocide and anti-apartheid ethnostates, and it truly does boggle my mind to see people support that??? somehow???? but seeing all the pro palestine demonstrations and protests and posts all over does give me hope to hold onto
rest of my response to ur lovely feedback under the cut to not make this post any longer lol <33
BUZZER BEATER!!!!
i also want my own loserboy sungchan so bad 🤧🤧 he was just so perfect in that one ugh. im glad that u were still able to see urself in some of the mc (tho im NOT glad that ur having side effect trouble w ur meds, sending out my love as a fellow tummy trouble side effect haver 🫶). and yeah i rlly wanted my bb sungchan to be not necessarily a himbo per se (bc imo u have to be like BUFF and stupid and sweet, i.e, kronk from emperor's new groove, and alas, sungchan is not built like wonho im not that delusional) but he is at least a big (read: tall), sweet, not quite dumb but not as academically rigorous in the same way as mc, jock who is used to kind of following the same script when in that college "talking phase" with a girl (a little bit of flirting, parties, inviting her to a game maybe, buying her a drink, etc.) bc it's safe and he rlly likes reader so he doesn't want to mess it up but then he realizes that he has to throw it all out bc reader can't actually do like most of that and is like ok. new plan. and ends up just fully embracing his pining, soft loserboy self and how down bad he is for reader. ugh i love him 💗💗💗
dr_magic2303!!!!
i would greatly admire, respect, and fear in equal measure anybody who feels seen by dr_magic2303 lmao. like good for u but COULDN'T BE ME!!! like some of the bits of mc's hyperfixation on her personal projects and that raw hunger for knowledge (as opposed to being the best) was modeled after my own hyperfixations and kind of manic flow states that i get with my adhd (i've yet to put up a conspiracy board in my apartment but i do routinely feel like the pepe silvia meme from it's always sunny) but i have not been a neurotic overachieving academic since jr yr of high school thank god! 4 years of cognitive behavioral therapy and a lot of anti-depressants cured me of that. this is coming from a former gifted kid lmao.
when i knew that i wanted this fic to take the this route (renjun getting consensually dosed up w siren venom) i knew i wanted there to be some form of a convo like that. like consent is sexy!!! and making sure ppl r being taken care of when they're consensually giving up and transferring power for a limited time (with or without the use of magical aphrodisiacs) is sexy!!! aftercare is sexy!!! (even tho renjun threw reader out before they could rlly finish that part but u know) and i rlly hope that came across in that scene
reader talking about spitting in renjun's mouth in front of ten isn't THAT weird for sirens (reader and ten were JUST talking about ten's nipple rings and their lack of sex lives like five seconds earlier in that same convo so like yknow) but ten could obviously tell that there was something a lot deeper going on than just some casual saliva swapping between pals so that's why he left lmao
as always thank you sm for your ask and your feedback on my fics 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 good luck with the end of school you got this b 💗💗💗💗
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infinitegalahad · 4 years ago
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GENERATION KILL: COMFORTING THERE PARTNER
"This is just me formally submitting a request for that gk boys offering their own forms of comfort fic/ headcanon/ thoughts wtevr. Lol just as a reminder. 😀"@theboardwalkbody
Gif Credit: @ymagor
A/N: You're wish is my command, homes❣️ Here's a little change of pace! @theboardwalkbody inspired this post (and asked it!), so thanks for the Inspo friend! 🤩 I'm doing this for BoB and TP because I'm going through a slight writer's block and instead of thinking about long descriptions, I just wanna so head canons that get a little out of hand. I hope this isn't too ooc😔 Reader has *inserted mental illness* btw, it's up for interpretation! ALSO GN! READER! Enjoy!
Taglist: @theboardwalkbody @contrabandhothead
Masterlist
NATE FICK-
Nate's a calculated person. He can see the patterns in people, things, etc. Like how his father's eyebrows wrinkle when he's excited, or when his mother likes to prep a meal from vegetables to the main course. So when you're happy, sad, whatever-he knows it, and you don't even have to tell him.
He'll come home and see you. He knows that you've heard him calling you're name, but you don't move. He looks all over the house and finds you inside of your tub, just sitting there with no response. The water is running, and your clothes and hair are soaked.
So in an attempt to not disrupt your peace, Nate climbs in and sits next to you. You look over and he's stares at you. Just as your about to speak, he beats you to it.
"I'll get you a towel and some clothes."
And then, he just leaves. You hear the door quietly shut, and you blink for a few seconds. What the hell just happened? It snapped you out of your depressive trance. Now instead of feeling sad-you just were confused.
So you hear the door lightly open again and then close. After a few more minutes of soaking, you get out and see a towel and a set of clothes that are most certainly not yours. It's Nate's Dartmouth Lacrosse sweater and a pair of underwear-he knows you too well.
So you exit the bathroom and you see Nate, putting two cups down of you're favorite tea
And he's got that face. You know the face were he's like ☹️
"Hey, c'mere."
The two of you climb into bed with eachtoher. He throws one of those ugg blankets over you. You rest his head in his chest and he pats your head. There's a silence, until Nate says, "Do you wanna walk about it."
Normally, you'd say no and he'd read you a book you're reading or hold you as you cry, but this time, it's different.
"Yeah, I do. You won't judge, right?"
Nate tilts you chin up, and he's got a tired smile on his face.
"Why would I?"
BRAD COLBERT-
Brad may appear horrible with emotions and reading the room...in which he isn’t
Okay, scratch that. He tries to understand them, it’s just hard for him to give advice and use words to comfort you. He feels like he’s walking on glass, But sometimes, you just need him psychically more then anything.
When you storm out of a room when Chaffin makes a comment on your weight, Brad takes a few minutes to think what he should do.
Normally, he’d just leave you be, but he’s gotta do something. Getting up, he follows you down the hallway. You’re not far, and he’s calling you’re name.
You stop in the hallway, wiping the tears coming down toye face. Brad turns you around with his hands on your shoulder. He’s got a blank face on as he looks at you, seeing your red face and the tears.
While you sob and stutter, he fixes the collar of your shirt, tucks your hair behind your ear, which is normal. He likes to neaten you up to make you feel better.
But he starts to use his thumb, wiping the tears coming down your face. You shocked as he cups your face, making you look into those icy cold eyes. He looks like the Iceman, cold and emotionless, but what he says very Brad.
“You’re beautiful.”
Then he pulls you into a tight grasp. He’s a whole foot taller then you, and you like the way he snakes his hands around his waist and slightly lifts off you your feet. His sheer presence is intimating, but for you; comforting. 
RAY PERSON-
THIS MAN. although a hick with a big mouth, he does know when to shut up and can read you’re emotions like the back of his hand.
He can just see the sadness swelling in your eyes and the way you pick at the foot at your plate and avoid all of needs for cuddles in bed. Heck, it’s making Ray sad.
So he does what he does best-not shutting up, well-about things he likes about you.
“Man! Look at my hot girlfriend/wife! There reading books by the liberal media, total smartie here! Oh! And they have a degree from-“
Ray will also beg for to your attention and follows you around like a puppy. Like you’ll be sitting on the couch and he’ll come rest his head on your lap. You ignore him, but he starts to twist and quote random movies so you finally give in.
Is Ray annoying? Yes. But did he make you smile? Also yes.
Also Ray is a cook, and knows all of your favorite meals. Of course, he sets the table, lights a few Mantown candles (yes there real google them), and comes to serve your meal with two plates.
“The most beautiful man/woman I have ever seen, the love of my life, the apple of my eye, the Avril to my Bizzy D-you’re hot pockets.”
It makes you laugh, which makes Ray happy. He feeds off of that attention. You sit in Ray’s lap, eating hot pockets, and watching The Best Damn Tour. You lean on Ray’s shoulder, and he leans right back.
POKE ESPERA-
Alexa play Whatta Man’ by Salt-N-Peppa BECAUSE! WHAT! A! MAN!
Poke is one tough mofo. He embodies the meme of “Good morning to my beautiful wife/husband and child everybody else get fucked”.
But like every baddie; baddie’s gotta have soft spots for there bitches. He has two; you and his daughter. And oh god he’s love the two of more then anything in the world.
Poke knows you and his daughter well enough. His daughter first notices that your not as enthusiastic and bubbly, and then she tells Poke. But Poke already knows because he’s observant and very in touch with his emotions.
So when he’s a work; he thinks and does a lot of self reflection. He wonders why you’re upset. Did he cause it? What can he do to make it better? He asks all the guys for advice, and even his own daughter.
An idea strikes! Poke’s got a lot of anger, so his therapist told him to express his emotions by journalling. But Poke learns that it helps him get everything out of system, so he’s a secret writer. Heck, he even likes poetry; and would kill anyone if they’d find out.
While off at work, small letters start to appear across you’re house. Some are long, some are short, but there sweet and make you’re day.
“I held the stars in my arms wen I held you”
“I can’t wait to kiss you.”
“Your eyes stole all of my words away”
And the covers of the notes are done by Poke’s daughter, covered in glitter and Lisa Frank stickers.
You confront Poke about this “mysterious pen pal” and Poke is like “I mean, your lips do sound tempting”
You know it’s Poke, and he knows it, but there’s something about the mystery that is very romantic.
WALT HASSER-
Here comes our favourie country pumpkin
Now let me say. This man LOVES you more then anything the world
Doesn’t wanna show you off (but he does)
So when you’re the slightest bit sad, Walt is even sadder then you are
Walt is someone that lives to receive attention, and also he’s someone that likes to give it. Especially to the love of his life!
Walt gives you things you actually need, and nothing that is materialistic. Growing up, his parents had a healthy relationship, and the apple clearly doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Waits on you hand and foot. A back massage? Done. A fuzzy blanket? Right on it! A specific burger from a joint that is thirty minutes away at three in the morning? Walt’s driving like a manic just for you. You have the man’s undivided attention.
“Walt?”
He stops whatever he’s doing and runs over, getting on his knees, “Yeah, what’s up baby?”
“Can you sing the song? Y’know, our song?”
Walt nods his head, now an eager puppy, and gets his gutair to play the song he wrote especially for you. And this is making me realize how painfully single I am oh my
RUDY REYES-
Rudy has an iv of respect woman/men juice. He always understands the assignment-and desires extra credit.
So whenever you’re down in the dumps, Rudy will drop everything and drag you into the car to go walk on his favorite trail. It’s ten miles long, but Rudy is a fitness freak.
First, you hate doing it. But the more you talk these long walks, the more you begin to enjoy it.
Sometimes there silence. Rudy won’t speak force you to talk. Talking is stressful, and Rudy will wait until you’re ready. The two of you holds hands, and Rudy has such a calming presence. It’s really hard to get angry at him.
You finally speak and tell Rudy you’re problems, and he listens and doesn’t interrupt. He’s got a hand on you’re lower back, or on your thigh. He’s basically you’re emotional support teddy bear and will always be a lending ear, or a total cuddle monster.
Rudy has the best advice as well. It’s always some yoga shit, but damn, those breathing  exercises do actually help.
EVAN “Q-TIP” STAFFORD-
Oh Q-Tip. My feral goblin son😭
I love him, but sometimes-things can fly over his head.
But when you start to ignore him and hide away from him, he begins to notice. And he HATES IT.
Like Christianson will ask him if he’s okay and he’ll literally quote a 2pac song and be like,
“I would drop all my girls for you, Walk barefoot 'round the world for you, Fly around like the birds for you, Thats why I wrote these words for you..”
Lilley is like “Brah we gotta help a homie out”
So the three stooges create Lovegate. The mission? to make Q-Tip’s partner happier.
Q-Tip is very artistically inclined. So with Christenson’s editing skills and Lilley’s camera, Q-Tip writes you a song and does a whole music video.
The man rents out a movie theatre venue just to show you. Of course, you’re blown away. It’s horrible and you can taste the autotone, BUT IT’S THE EFFORT THAT COUNTS. and q-tip has that smile on. you know what i’m talking about!
Doc Bryan walks in on the two of you making out and is pissed since all he wanted to do was see the re-screening of Bridemaids but NO, Q-Tip just had to rent out a theatre to show his partner a music video about them and then make out.
He see’s Lilley, who’s recording and asks to interview what Doc’s opinion on the music video, and this is what he’s says.
“I think my ears bled, but thank fuck those two aren’t acting like emo’s.”
DOC BRYAN-
The gif has a purpose. Trust me. SPEAKING OF THE MAN OF THE HOUR
Bryan, like Poke, is a very observant guy. He’s an angry motherfucker, and even a little insensitive, but ever since dating you; he’s tried to change.
He hates the world. People are shitty, and it makes him feel shitty that you’re sad because when you feel shitty, he’s in a shitter mood then he’s usually in
Knowing that his words might sound a little harsh, Byran knows how to distract you. Without words. After all, he didn’t work out for nothing.
Long hugs are you’re thing. The two of you will run into eachother, find a private place, and he’ll just wrap his arms around you. His big arms are protective, and he’s warm, and you just sink into him.
Sometimes, you’ll fall asleep. Byran sometimes will fall asleep with you, other times he’ll gently lay you down and put a blanket with a gentle forehead kiss.
When you cry in his arms, he’ll wipe the tears away. He can feel them against his arm, and he doesn’t know what to do. Crying girls/guys are not his speciality.
But when you squeeze his arm back, to let you know what your there and that you love him, Byran will freeze. He has no idea what to next with words. He’ll put his hand over yours, and turns out; it works well.
After this is all over, he’ll check up on you and ask you simply if you’re okay. You respond with a smile. Byran isn’t one for smiles, but for you, he shows a subtle smile back. Just to let you know.
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satoruvt · 4 years ago
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for now; forever
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pairing → kwon soonyoung x reader
word count → 9015
genre → mostly fluff, angst ↳ tags: ooh boy. firewatch au, banter, like a little bit (a lot) of pining, strangers to friends to… something, FLIRTING, reader’s kinda fucked up but its ok, hoshi’s weird and endearing (as always), a tiny bit of hurt/comfort, minghao best boy, soonyoung is very sweet it makes me want to cry
synopsis → after an unfortunate burnout that lands you in every critic’s negative and all-seeing eye, you decide to take a break from the one thing you know. you’re not sure if you’ll find what you’re looking for out in the middle of the woods - if you’re looking for anything at all - but at the very least, soonyoung will make the hunt a little less lonely.
warnings → there’s eventually a forest fire (starts on day 64 and is mentioned throughout the rest of the fic) that leads to an evacuation but it’s not super detailed, mentions and descriptions of creative burnout/breakdown
a/n → IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! i made a fancy banner nd everything <3 i know 9k isn’t a lot to some people but this is probably the longest one shot i’ve ever written LMAOO so i hope it’s paced ok and everything <33 PLEASE let me know what yall thought about this i am insanely proud of it. ok thats it hehe. hope you enjoy!!! see u on the other side!!!!
btw here’s a fun playlist of songs i listened to while writing mixed with some songs i think reflect the fic super well <33
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DAY ONE.
So. You’re… out here, now.
Save for the bugs you have to swat at every fifteen seconds, the outdoors doesn’t seem that bad. The weather isn’t too hot (yet, your mind reminds you) and there’s something about the color of the sky that makes your heart constrict in your chest. You can’t tell if it’s good or bad, but given your luck recently, you’re hoping it’s not a warning for the coming months - God knows you need a break. The weight of the journal in your bag feels heavier than any of the camping gear you brought with you.
You debate texting Minghao that you’ve made it to the park safely, but when you check your phone after deciding yes, you see the words no service instead of the familiar lines of a signal. It’s not that big of a deal - you’d told him when you left that you probably wouldn’t have service at all - but a little part of you feels the tender shake of anxiety at the thought of not being able to contact your best friend. 
He was the most worried out of everyone when you told him you were leaving for the summer. You can’t really blame him - it was abrupt, you saw the flyer at the grocery store and took it - but after what happened… doing something felt, feels, better than sitting around and waiting for nothing to happen. Waiting for a healing you aren’t sure will ever come, at least not completely.
“Is this really…” Minghao had started upon first entering your apartment after getting your text. Clothes were thrown all over your bedroom floor in an attempt to pack. “Do you need to do this?”
The tone of his voice told you he wasn’t going to try to stop you, that he just wanted to make sure this was what you needed. You had only nodded, sitting down on the edge of your bed to fold clothes and pack them into your suitcase.
“I just don’t want you to run away from it all,” Minghao said softly, sitting next to you. “You’ll need to face it eventually.”
“Is escaping really such a bad thing?” You asked, looking at Minghao. He gave you the look he did when you said something stupid, and if you weren’t still so wired from everything, you might have laughed. Instead, you sighed, placing a pair of pants into your suitcase. “I just need some time.”
Before you can face it, before you can come back, before you can write again… you still don’t know. Minghao had placed a kind hand on your shoulder to tell you there was no rush.
It’d taken no more than two days for you to get everything ready - including buying some apparently necessary survival equipment from Target. In a matter of a few hours you had gathered everything up, texted some other friends and your family that you might not be available the next few months and then… you left. 
(Your manager was pretty pissed off that you left so suddenly, but she was also pissed off at you when you told her you needed a break for at least a few weeks, so you’re not really offended.)
You take one last longing look at your car before locking it, pocketing the keys, and starting on your hike.
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The hike takes almost the whole day. 
You think you almost cry when you finally see the watch tower you’re supposed to be staying in, your legs barely able to hold the rest of your body up. The hike wasn’t hard, really - long, though, and for someone who usually spends a work day sitting at a desk, you’re surprised you’re still alive. You find the little lock that holds the keys to the tower at the bottom of the stairs, fastened onto the railing. It takes a few seconds for you to enter the code you’d been given earlier, relishing in the soft breeze the cools the sweat on your face and neck. The sun is just barely starting to set beyond the mountains, a beautiful sight that you can’t properly focus on because all you want to do is pass out. You’re pretty sure you almost do on your way up the stairs.
The cabin at the top of the tower is pretty scarcely furnished, save for a few basic necessities (a gas stove rests on one wall, a small desk opposite to it by the door, a mini-fridge, and a bed in the corner plus what looks like a map table in the center of the room). It’s a little weird, a feeling caught between the nostalgia of moving into a new place and something you can’t quite name, but you figure you have a few months to make it all a little more comfortable.
For now, though, you feel like you’re on the last leg of your energy. Your mind is saying eat, sleep, eat, sleep on repeat and you have to agree with it, so you change the sheets on the bed, take down the boards over the windows while you wait for the macaroni from the Kraft box to cook. You end up eating a few forkfuls of poorly-made mac and cheese before crashing.
When you wake up, it’s to gentle static and a semi-clear, unfamiliar voice. It takes you a minute to remember where you are and what you’re doing, too disoriented to even think about the voice, but then - oh. Forest. Watch tower. Escape. Okay.
“Yo, Cottonwood! Am I coming through okay? Pick up your radio!”
Right. The voice. Radio?
“Come on, I saw you get in yesterday, I know you’re there. Unless,” a gasp, “you died! Oh my God, this is like a horror movie… and I’m next!”
You manage to wake up enough to locate your radio (a walkie-talkie resting on a charger on the desk) and, after a few seconds of gentle struggle, work it. “Not dead,” you say, then clear your throat because your voice does not sound good right after waking up. “I mean… almost. But not dead.”
There’s barely a moment of hesitation before the person on the other end hoots, apparently excited. “Arisen from the dead! Brought back to life by none other than the legendary Hoshi!”
A brief thought crosses your mind about having to listen to this guy all summer, but you quickly shoo it away. You won’t have to deal with it for the whole three months, right? “Who… who is Hoshi?”
“Me!” The voice answers, sounding a little too smug. “But it’s really just an alias. You can call me Soonyoung. I’m at Twin Peaks tower, west of yours!”
You spin around your cabin, looking through the windows cluelessly - how long have you been asleep, it’s practically afternoon - until you see a very small silhouette of another tower in the distance. You nod, then realize Soonyoung can’t see you. “Oh. Cool.”
“Aren’t you gonna tell me your name?” Soonyoung asks, but his tone is light, breezy. You blink, reciting your name to him in a daze. “Pretty! So, what brings you out here?”
You weren’t expecting that question. “What?”
Soonyoung giggles into the radio. “Everyone comes out here for some reason. Like… Jihoon says it’s ‘cause it helps him write music. And Joshua loves the outdoors, so… what’s your reason?”
“You…” you start, not exactly wanting to tell a stranger the reason you ran away from everything you know. “Do you normally ask this many questions?”
“Yeah!”
You feel yourself sigh, already tired again.
“I… just wanted to get away for a while,” you end up saying. A half-truth. “I live in the city.”
“No way,” Soonyoung gasps excitedly. “Me too! I wonder if both of us have ever been walking and, like, passed each other without knowing…”
This isn’t exactly what you had in mind when you thought of escaping.
DAY TWO.
The next morning, you dedicate time to getting a little more settled into your home for the next few months. You didn’t bring a lot of decor - you didn’t think you needed any - but even seeing your blanket on the bed and a few books you need to catch up on reading stacked on the desk makes the place feel a little bit more like you. You eventually reach the journal you packed (that Minghao made you pack) and stare at it like it might do something. Like it might tell you to write again, or like it might tell you to leave everything behind. You don’t really know what you want from it.
A sing-songed version of your name comes from your radio and you blink away from the journal, set it down on the desk. “Good morning!” Soonyoung says from the other end, and you feel yourself take a deep breath as you pick up your radio and press down the button so he can hear you.
“Morning, Soonyoung,” you respond, calm compared to his excitement. 
“So… what are your plans for today?”
“Um,” you pause, brows furrowed, looking towards the direction of his tower even though you know he can’t see you. “Looking out for fires?”
“That’s boring,” is Soonyoung’s immediate response, and you laugh a little.
“Kinda my job for a while.”
And listen, you’ve known Soonyoung for less than a full 24 hours, but even before your brain really comprehends what he’s saying you know you’re not going to like it. “Wait, that reminds me,” he says, tone of his voice a little less overexcited puppy. “What did you do before this? Or, like, what’s your career? I mean, you don’t have to answer, I just thought it could be a way for us to get to know each other…”
His voice fades away for the split second you remember a little too much all at once, but somehow your voice still sounds put together when you speak. “Nothing special,” you say. There’s a pause when you don’t elaborate any further, but instead of asking about it, Soonyoung changes the subject.
“Okay!” he says, back to a more playful tone. “Anyways, I asked about your plans ‘cause I kind of need you to do something for me.”
“Already asking favors?” you tease. “We just met, Soonyoung.”
You hear him laugh, loud and hearty, and it’s contagious even through a radio line so you feel your own smile pull at your lips. “One of the other lookouts found some teenagers with fireworks,” he informs you. “I need you to meet him and get the fireworks from him.”
Your feet are already in your shoes, one halfway tied. “You can’t do this?”
Soonyoung’s voice is strangely thoughtful, but you catch a hint of mischief at the end of his sentence. “I would, but Jihoonie said he’d eat me if I tried to see him again and I think he’s serious this time.”
He tells you where the other lookout - Jihoon - should be and gives you a quick lesson on how to properly use your map to get there. You’re not really excited for another hike this early on (you’re still sore from even getting up here) but by the time you meet the halfway mark you’re convinced it’s not that bad. It’s neither long nor challenging, and… well, Soonyoung’s insistent on keeping you company the whole time. 
When you see what looks like a guy at the edge of a now-abandoned camp, you tell Soonyoung you’ll radio him when you’re on your way back to your tower. “Hey,” you call out as you get closer. The man looks up at you, his eyes sharp but not unkind. “Jihoon?”
“Yeah,” he replies. Under his cap you notice that his hair is a gentle silver, almost purple. He’s dressed casually, like you, and you suppose it’s a given since there’s no exact dress code for this job.  “You’re the newbie?”
You didn’t know people knew about you. “I.. I guess,” you say, then tell him your name.
“Cool,” Jihoon says, voice flat like he’s distracted. He picks up the bag next to his feet and hands it to you. “Take these. Thanks.”
He starts to walk away, down a trail opposite the direction you came, but you think of earlier, when Soonyoung asked about your job (or when he didn’t). You call after Jihoon, hesitate, but then opt to make this quick since he looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here. “Have you and Soonyoung… known each other for long?”
Jihoon turns around. He shrugs, then nods. “We met in college, a few years ago.”
“What kind of person is he?”
You watch in vague amusement as Jihoon’s nose scrunches up, but the small smile on his face refuses to hide and it makes you giggle. “Really annyoing,” he tells you, then pauses for a second like he’s looking for the right words, “kind of overwhelming sometimes. But he’s good. He’s someone you want around.”
Someone you want around, your brain repeats to you. You nod with a friendly smile as you haphazardly stuff the fireworks in your hiking bag. “Okay. Thank you.”
Jihoon offers an acknowledging nod of his own before continuing on his way back to his tower. You’re about five minutes into your hike back to yours when your radio sounds from your pocket with a now-familiar voice.
“Are you on your way back?” Soonyoung asks. “You forgot to tell me!”
“Sorry, yeah, I am now. I was talkin’ to Jihoon for a second.”
“Really? That’s weird. He rarely talks to anyone, especially strangers. What’d you talk about?”
You can’t help the small smile that lands on your face as you speak. “Stuff to blackmail you with.”
You think you hear Soonyoung’s groan all the way from his tower, and your smile only grows when it turns into a laugh.
DAY FIVE.
The clouds look dark today.
They haven’t covered the sun completely yet, but they’re closing in fast. You hope that it rains, already sick and tired of the disgusting heat, but also. Something else.
Rainy days always used to be the best to write, your brain supplies to you. You brave a glance at the still-unopened journal on the desk, thinking that maybe…
Your radio turning on drags you away from the crack in metaphorical door, coming at the perfect time as if to tell you that you’re not ready yet. You listen to it, grab the radio, murmur a greeting to Soonyoung.
“It’s getting pretty dark out, huh?” He says. He must be looking at the sky, too.
“Yeah,” you hum. “Hopefully the storm isn’t too bad.”
The line goes quiet, but you know that Soonyoung’s still there even if he isn’t saying anything. The knowledge comforts you, just a little.
“Well... got any rainy day stories?”
DAY SEVENTEEN.
“So, Soonyoung,” you call into your radio as you step outside. You’ve taken advantage of the small balcony around the entire cabin, setting up a few chairs you found in the storage unit at the bottom of the tower (just in case someone stops by, you tell yourself) and a small table you weren’t using inside. The nights are hot but still relaxing, and you find yourself sitting outside often, catching up on reading or taking in the stars. 
“I can’t believe you radioed me first,” Soonyoung responds, and you hear the smugness in his voice. “I’m so happy!”
Soonyoung somehow almost always manages to be with you in the nights, too, even if not physically. Being away from the urban civilization you’re used to has been a little difficult to adjust to, but you feel significantly less alone whenever you hear him calling you. You tell him to be quiet even though both of you are laughing. The distant crickets make your chest warm.
“What do you do? You didn’t tell me before,” You ask him after a second. There’s a small wave of anxiety that rushes over you at the idea that he might call you out about when he asked you the same thing. That was two weeks ago, though, you think, and Soonyoung wouldn’t. You’re sure he’s been able to tell that it’s a touchy subject. You’re not as discreet as you think you are, even if (and you’ve learned this the past few weeks) Soonyoung’s a bit more on the oblivious side sometimes.
“I dance!” 
Somehow, despite having not even seen what he looks like, it’s fitting. “Like… teach, or choreograph, or…”
“A little of everything,” Soonyoung tells you, and then starts elaborating. His voice echoes through your radio and you look up at the stars as you listen to him, trying to map out constellations from memory. He sounds so excited to simply talk about it, you can’t imagine what he must look like when he’s actually on stage. You hope you get to see it one day.
“You’ll have to teach me something sometime,” you say once he’s finished, voicing your thoughts. With a giggle that sounds like the stars above you, he tells you he’d love to.
A moment of quiet passes, spent focusing on the tiny specks of fireflies you see in the field around your tower and feeling the summer breeze as it passes. The words slip out of your mouth with much less resistance than you thought they would.
“I used to write,” you murmur into your radio. It takes you a moment to register the heavy beat of your heart, like you just got back from a run.
“Used to?” Soonyoung asks, curious but soft.
“For now,” you answer. The ache you’ve become familiar with throbs in your chest. “Hopefully not forever.”
It’s not the whole story - not even close - but you figure you might be able to tell him with time. The thought stresses you out even when you have nothing to stress about, and you think Soonyoung is psychic because he says, next, “the stars are really pretty tonight.”
You’re not looking at the sky when you answer. Your head is tilted in the direction of his tower. 
“They really are,” you say.
DAY THIRTY-THREE.
You’ve fallen into a bit of a routine with Soonyoung. 
Not a day goes by where you don’t talk to him - the one day you radioed and he didn’t pick up you genuinely thought something happened to him, seconds away from calling a park ranger. Right before you actually did it, though, he picked up his radio and said he had been taking a nap.
(His voice was a little groggy from sleep, sounded like he was pouting whether he meant to or not and you’d be lying if you said the thought didn’t make your heart skip a few beats - but if anyone asked, you’d definitely lie about it.)
One of you calls the other around the same time every morning and you don’t put down your radio until the sun is well behind the mountains. You’ve grown used to his presence, in a way, even if you can’t really feel him with you (though sometimes you swear you can). It’s comforting to have him out there with you, and it’s been so long since you’ve talked to someone the way you do with Soonyoung… you find yourself looking forward to every morning, waiting for when you hear him over your radio.
Today is no different.
Well, in an unrelated way, it is - you have to hike to a supply box to get your surplus of food for the next month and a half you have left. But even as you’re doing inventory of what you have left in your cabin on a piece of paper, you’re waiting for Soonyoung’s usual good morning. It comes as always, makes you smile when you hear it.
“Good morning!” 
You leave your scratch paper on your desk and reach for your radio. “Morning,” you say after you’ve pressed the button down. 
“So…” Soonyoung trails off. “Supply drop day.”
“Yeah,” you reply, sitting on your bed.
“Both of us are getting crates of food today…”
What is he getting at? “Uh-huh…?”
“Both of us… getting supplies… from the same place.”
A confused laugh leaves your lips. “Soonyoung, what is your point?”
Even for as often as you talk to him, you’re still always surprised when he starts yelling. “Let’s meet up!” he exclaims, obviously excited, and it clicks in your head.
“Oh my God, can we do that?” 
“Yeah!” Soonyoung sounds like he’s grinning, smile palpable in his voice. “If we pull some strings with the other lookouts and get hiking at the right time, it’s totally possible.”
Holy shit. Your heart is beating wildly, butterflies swarming around it at the thought of meeting Soonyoung in person. “Okay,” you tell him, noting that you sound a little breathless. “Okay, yeah, let’s do it.”
It takes a few minutes to work everything out - the supply boxes should be dropped off by midday, so you can leave your tower around then and get to the drop location in a little over an hour. Soonyoung has to leave earlier than you since he’s farther away, but if everything goes well the two of you should get to the drop location close to the same time, margin of error small. You radio Jihoon to cover for you while you’re out, and he agrees, although he sounds a bit miffed.
When you finally leave for your hike, you’re not expecting how quiet it is. Soonyoung’s usually there to cover it up with his voice - you don’t hike often (you’ve not had to, given your job for the summer is to watch for fires) but whenever you have he’s been there to keep you company. You plug in your earphones about halfway through your trip just to drown out the quiet, something more to listen to than just trees and the sound of your own footsteps.
Eventually you make it to the supply box, and, well. There’s a guy. Standing in front of a long, green box - you think you see lookout tower names engraved ever few inches: Thorofare, Cottonwood, Twin Peaks. Packing some ready-to-eat meals into his backpack.
Holy shit, Soonyoung? your brain automatically asks, and it sends your heart spiraling up and down. You’re not sure what you thought he looked like, but it wasn’t this. Tall, lean - wait, you don’t even know if this is actually him yet.
Before you can think too much about it, you call out, voice tentative. “Are you… Soonyoung?”
The man turns around, shakes his head with a kind smile. “No,” he says. “I’m Joshua.”
You think about throwing yourself into the river by your tower when you get back for absolutely no reason. Somehow you manage a polite smile and a gentle sorry.
“No, don’t apologize, you’re fine!” Joshua chirps, adjusting the cap on his head. “You’re looking for him?”
You pause. Those aren’t the exact words you would use, but they’re not technically wrong, so you nod. After all, you don’t know what he looks like (you probably should have asked him before both of you left, but you weren’t expecting another person to be here).
“Please don’t tell me he got lost again,” Joshua says, suddenly looking tired, and you look back at him wide-eyed because... again? Has this happened before?
“No,” you tell him. “No, I mean, I don’t think so. I don’t know. Since we both have to pick up supplies he thought it’d be cool if we met up in person.”
Joshua sighs, seemingly relieved, then continues packing what’s left of his supplies into his backpack as he hums. “That’s weird.”
“What is?”
He shrugs. “Soonyoung likes the outdoors, yeah, but the supply box is a pretty far hike from his tower. I think the last few summers he’s had them delivered.”
Oh, you think, and maybe say out loud, because then Joshua’s looking back at you, a mischievous smile on his face. 
“He must really like you to come all the way out here,” he tells you, and you laugh like it might get rid of all the thoughts popping up in your mind that you keep telling yourself to stop thinking about.
“And yet,” you say wistfully, looking towards the horizon. “I still come second to Jihoon.”
This time Joshua laughs, a friendly sound, and the two of you fall into a playful conversation. He’s somewhat a superior of yours, though not by a far gap - as the lookout who’s been on the job the longest, he oversees the rest of you (which is you, Soonyoung, Jihoon, and a few others you have yet to come across). You get along with him easily and it’s weird to think that if you hadn’t gone through what you did a few months ago you wouldn’t be here talking to him, establishing what could be a new friendship. You wonder if that’s a new step towards healing, finding a way to be grateful even if it was horrible.
You talk to Joshua for a while until he says he should get back to his tower. You nod, tell him goodbye (and thanks for his company) and he starts to walk away -
“Shua!”
A burst of platinum blonde hair rushes past you from the opposite direction you came from, heading for Joshua. The new guy drops a bag at his feet and almost softly crashes into Joshua, who has this look on his face you can’t really decipher.
“Hey, Soonyoung,” he says, and you blink.
Soonyoung, like… your Soonyoung? The Soonyoung you’ve been talking to for weeks?
You watch as the two hug, Soonyoung excited to see Joshua and completely ignoring you (though you’re not sure he’s doing it intentionally). All you can do is stand there. This is him, your brain keeps telling you. This is the guy.
“I haven’t seen you in forever!” Soonyoung exclaims, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. “How are you? How have things been?”
Joshua shrugs, a small smile on his face as he puts a gentle hand on Soonyoung’s head and starts… petting. “I’ve been good, same old deal. I know that you’ve been doing good too, though, as far as I’ve seen from your reports.”
Soonyoung beams at the praise and you take note of it in the back of your mind (you also note the way Joshua’s treating him like a toddler and how it’s working). He opens his mouth to say something else but looks around and meets your eyes - for a second there’s nothing at all, but then you think you see an exclamation mark actually pop above his head.
The yell of your name is so loud it makes you jump. “Oh my God,” Soonyoung whines, falling to his knees dramatically. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you!”
“This is the first time you’ve seen me,” you say. You can’t seem to hold back your smile.
Joshua excuses himself (again) and finally moves on his way, says he’s in Thorofare lookout if anything happens. The sun is mellow on your skin as you look at Soonyoung, take him in - light hair, warm eyes, tan skin. His smile matches your own. A breeze shifts by, slow and sweet.
“Hi,” you say.
Soonyoung grins.
“Hey.”
-
So the bag you saw Soonyoung drop on the ground before was, in fact, for a picnic.
He didn’t bring a lot of food (the whole point of the hike was to get supply boxes anyways) aside from a few candy bars he’d saved for today. He did bring a blanket, however, and the two of you set everything up on the edge of a rock not too far away from the drop location, under some trees. It looks over a small ravine, a stream cutting through at the bottom. 
The time goes by like it was never there in the first place, spent talking and laughing. Soonyoung is just as animated in person as you thought he’d be, telling stories wildly as the two of you snack away a portion of your supplies. You know the two of you don’t have much time together, given how late it already was when Soonyoung arrived and both of your hikes back to your respective towers, but it’s still… refreshing, almost, to be with him like this, to finally get a piece of him you didn’t before. To hear him without the crackle of the radio and to see him.
To see him.
Something stirs in your chest when you look at him lying back on the blanket, arms supporting his head with his eyes closed. The sun lights up his skin in a golden glow, like honey, and the dark roots growing into his blonde hair are somehow endearing. The breath leaves your lungs when you finally label him as pretty. You hope you can blame the heat in your cheeks on the sun.
“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Soonyoung sighs, still not opening his eyes. You almost reach out to brush the hair away from his face, but a breeze comes by and does it for you. You hope it’s not a sign.
“It would be nice, huh,” you murmur in response. You finally break your gaze from Soonyoung and lean back on your hands, soaking up the feeling of the blue sky.
It’s now that you remember what Joshua had said earlier about Soonyoung usually getting his supplies delivered, and you turn back to him. “Hey, before you got to the supply box, Joshua and I were talking.” Soonyoung hums in acknowledgement. “Is the hike from your tower to here really that bad?”
His voice strains as he stretches, opening his eyes to look at you. “I mean, yeah, it’s a bitch of a hike to take sometimes. But it’s not really hard except for a few spots, just long.”
You furrow your brows. When you agreed to meet him, you didn’t think it’d be this much trouble for him. “And you came all this way so we could… what, sit here and eat? Like we do most of the time anyways? Just separately?”
Soonyoung pouts at you and you feel personally attacked. “Food tastes good when you’re with other people.”
You give him a soft, semi-playful glare, and Soonyoung offers a small giggle. You turn back towards the view in front of you.
“Did you not want me to come down?” He asks, and he doesn’t sound… sad, really, more observant. Like he wants to know where you’re at.
“No,” you answer almost immediately (Jesus, your brain says). “I just… it’s a long trip. It doesn’t really seem like it’s worth the effort.”
Like I’m worth the effort, you think to yourself. 
You hear Soonyoung shuffle behind you and turn around to look at him again, finding him sitting up straight. “It is to me,” he tells you, and there’s something in his eyes that holds you in your spot. The tips of his fingers brush against yours on the blanket. You’d look down if you didn’t think you’d miss something. “I wanted to.”
In a second, it clicks.
-
It’s not much longer until Soonyoung needs to start heading back. The two of you get your things together, and you help him pack up the picnic supplies he brought. When everything’s said and done and the two of you are back by the supply box, there’s a second of uncharacteristic quiet that falls over you.
“Let me know when you get back,” you say after a moment. Soonyoung grins.
“You’re worried about me!” he swoons, and you hit him on the shoulder playfully, but don’t deny it. It can be dangerous out there, and even if Soonyoung has been out here longer than you, anything can happen. 
“Just radio me, okay?”
Soonyoung smiles, something a little softer from before. He nods. “I will. You be safe too.”
You nod in return, taking a few steps back towards the trail that leads back to your tower. “Talk to you later, Hoshi.”
The last you see of him before you turn around is the grin on his face.
DAY THIRTY-FOUR.
It feels like forever since you’ve been here.
A window is open and welcomes a distant ambiance of the forest around you, trees and birds and animals. The journal you brought with you is open to the first page, but remains untouched - nothing on the pages. At least, not yet.
(The not yet you always tell yourself seems closer, this time, not so far away. Within reach, or at least within reason.)
Soonyoung had called in that the hike from yesterday had worn him out and he needed a nap. You had laughed fondly at how tired he sounded, told him to sleep well and that you’d be waiting for him. And you feel the words, right at your fingertips, the way the rest and wait to be written. Their presence is both terrifying and reassuring. 
You don’t think they’ll be able to bleed out correctly, not the way they used to since it’s been so long. But they’re there, in your mind, in your heart. 
You pick up the pen you got out, feel the weight of it as you click it a few times. You tap it on the desk once, twice, and then.
You take a deep breath and start to write.
DAY SIXTY-FOUR.
“Are you lookin’ at the fire?”
Your eyes leave the page of your book at Soonyoung’s voice crackling from the radio, looking around your cabin windows to see that, oh, there is a fire. You’d kind of forgotten that it’s… literally your job. At least there are multiple lookouts.
You fold the corner of the page you’re on as a makeshift bookmark before closing the book and setting it down on your bed as you stand to get your radio. You grab a can of soda from the mini-fridge you’ve started to utilize (as best you can, given it does a mediocre job at keeping things cool) before walking out onto the deck, sitting in one of the chairs you set up. “Now I am,” you tell Soonyoung as you adjust the chair so it faces the direction of the fire. You think you’re the closest lookout to it - which makes the fact that you didn’t notice it even worse - but not in any danger. The smoke paints the evening sky red-orange, washing over the purples and blues the sun used earlier as it set. “You’ve called it in?”
“Yeah, told Josh, who told the higher-ups,” Soonyoung responds, voice strangely… solemn? He sighs his next words. “They’ll probably send a crew in for suppression by morning.”
“Is there a reason you sound sad about putting a potentially dangerous forest fire out?” You tease, cracking open your soda and taking a sip. The carbonation feels good in your mouth, pops on your tongue.
“I’m not!” Soonyoung denies after some sputtering, and you laugh. “Just… ugh, looking at it - I’ve worked here every summer for the past, like, five years, and I’ve only ever seen two fires. Three, counting this one.” His voice gains a certain softness, like he’s lost in thought. “I don’t want the place to burn down or anything, but… don’t you think it’s kind of beautiful?”
It’s a little morally ambiguous, but as you look at the distant, licking flames you have to agree. In the dark, it’s vibrant, more than just ashy smoke and the smell of burning - it glows red, flushes out silhouettes of the trees in between it and you.
“I guess it is,” you hum into your radio as you stare at it.
“So. What should we name it?”
“The fire?”
“Yes,” Soonyoung says, dramatic as always. “She needs a name! I’ve always given them names, but I’ll let you do the honor this time.”
There’s something sweet in the way he offers you the chance to name it, and you try not to dwell on it too much. “Ah,” you start, thinking for a moment. “Barbara. The Barbara Fire.”
Soonyoung howls out a laugh and it’s infectious; you feel the tugging of your lips into a grin. “That is the worst thing that has ever come out of your mouth,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “We are not naming it the Barbara Fire.”
You huff out a fake whine. “Come on, it’s just Barb! She’s beautiful.”
“But deadly,” Soonyoung adds in a voice that sounds like it came straight out of a crime documentary. It makes you giggle, the two of you throwing around silly, stupid names.
“Okay, okay,” you say after a few minutes. “Then… hmm, the Hoshi Fire.”
There’s a long, long pause, and you hold down the button to your radio again. “Uh oh, is he broken?”
Soonyoung’s voice comes through, joking, but you sense a pinch of sincerity. “You want to name a raging forest fire after me… I feel like I shouldn’t be happy but I kind of am.”
You remember to push the button as you laugh, looking directly at the fire and shouting, “I hereby dub thee… the Hoshi Fire!” as loud as you can.
After the laughter dies down, for a second, there’s quiet - not awkward or for the sake of a bit, just quiet. Soonyoung’s not telling a story, you’re not giving witty comebacks. It’s just the two of you and the fire, alone in the forest.
It breaks eventually. Soft, gentle. “I’m glad you’re out here, you know,” Soonyoung says.
His words make you stiffen and relax all at once, and almost on instinct you look in the direction of his tower. You can’t really see the silhouette - the sun too far gone, taking the last of its light with it - but you know it’s there, can pinpoint exactly where it should be. You hope Soonyoung’s looking over at you, too.
And even if the reason you’re here in the first place is still a tender bruise to be pressed, you find yourself recovering a little more every day. “I am, too,” you respond. “I… I wish you were over here.”
It’s a roundabout way to say I miss you, but a part of you thinks neither of you are ready for something that explicit. You reach a hand out in the direction of Soonyoung’s tower, grasping at it like it might bring him to you. It’s not as if you can’t meet up with him again, but… between the distance and the fact that there’s an actual fire to keep your eye on, it certainly wouldn’t be easy. This is the closest you can get for now.
“I wish I was too,” Soonyoung says. You close your eyes to picture him, pretty smile and fond eyes. “We could hang out, like last time.”
“Without the radios,” you add. 
“We could, um… you know.”
His words make you giggle, and you feel a little lucky that you’re not holding down the button. Your heart is pounding in your chest, nervous but stable, secure, as you reply. A welcomed beat, even if startling.
“No, I don’t,” you tell him. Your soda sits forgotten, half-empty, on the floor of the deck by your feet. You don’t bother paying attention to the fire. “What could we do?”
Soonyoung groans and this time you laugh pushing the button so he can hear you, warm and affectionate. “Don’t tease me! You know what I’m talking about.”
You do. “What could we do, Soonyoung?”
There’s a pause, but you know he’s still there.
“Well,” he says eventually. “Let me tell you.”
DAY SEVENTY-SIX.
The fire’s gotten big.
You feel like you shouldn’t be surprised by it - it’s a wildfire, they’re not exactly easy to contain, but seeing it up close like this is vastly different from being in a city and barely even noticing the smoke. It is larger than life out here, consuming more and more of the forest each day. The last few days you’ve spent inside due to the low visibility (though it’s not as if you take a hike every day anyways). It makes you wonder if it’s safe to stay out here.
“...Hey,”  Soonyoung radios in. “I have a question for you.”
Rationally, you know whatever it is, it can’t be that serious. But your heart picks up pace anyways, beats a little harder as you pick up your radio to respond. “Look, it was Jihoon’s idea to use the fireworks, I promise neither of us knew it would start the fire.”
Soonyoung sputters out a laugh and you match him, feeling yourself calm down. “I’ll… I’ll ask Jihoon about that later, but - I really do have something to ask you.”
You lay down in your bed, unmade and messy. “Is it… bad?”
“I don’t think so,” Soonyoung responds. “Maybe?”
“Okay…” you say, timid. “Shoot.”
“When you first got here, I asked why you took the job,” he says, and you nod to yourself, remembering the first call you got from him. “You just… never really responded. I get it if it’s, like, a touchy subject, I don’t want to pressure you at all…”
“No,” you interrupt before you realize what you’re saying. You take a deep breath, Soonyoung waits. “No, it’s probably… it might be good to talk about it. I’ll tell you.”
He murmurs an okay, tells you to take your time and you do. It’s not like you’re scared to tell him - you’ve come to trust him, you know he won’t judge you for anything that happened or think any differently of you. You’re not even sure that’s why it’s hard for you to talk about - rather than any sort of outside force that might affect you, it’s more… more of a part of you that you felt you lost. It’s more coming to terms - even after these months - and going through the motions. It’s scary to talk about disconnection, especially from the one thing you loved (love?) more than anything.
“I… write,” is how you start, looking at the ceiling of your cabin as you speak. “Or wrote, maybe? I’m an author. I have a few books published. Writing is something I’ve loved since I was so young, it’s… a part of me, really. It’s special to me.
“When I finally got a manager and a publishing company and all that official stuff, I was so excited. It was like I was finally living my dream. I wrote my first book and got it published and it did really well, so my management asked me to do another, and I did. Then they asked for one after that, and I didn’t… it felt too soon, in a way. Rushed. But I guess I did it because I had to, because I figured this just came with being a writer and not everything is what you want it to be - and I didn’t want to risk losing what I had wanted almost my entire life.”
You take a moment to steady yourself, note the tremble of your fingers and take a few deep breaths. Soonyoung waits for you, patient and kind. “It went like that for a while, and I lost touch with writing. I stopped loving the only thing I knew how to love. I was so detached from it. A few months before I took this job my manager set up a press conference for me, and I… kind of… had a breakdown. At the conference. So I’m out here to run away for a second. Be away from it all.”
The quiet that follows doesn’t make you nervous, really, but you’re still waiting for a reply of any sort. Even if it’s the common oh or it’ll be okay that you got from distant friends and relatives who didn’t know what was really going on. But Soonyoung was patient with you, so you can be patient with him.
“Have you written since?” He asks after a minute, and your eyes flash over to the journal on your desk. One page has the familiar strokes and loops of your handwriting, written after you met Soonyoung in person.
“Only once,” you respond, truthful.
“When you start to write again… will you show me?”
And for some reason the question is so tender, filled to the brim with something you want to name. It makes tears spring to your eyes as you look out over the rising fire, trying not to let your voice shake too much as you reply.
(Maybe it’s because he said when and not if, maybe it’s because he didn’t tell you it’ll be okay, maybe it’s because it’s him and not someone else telling you the same thing.)
“Yeah,” you say, letting go of the button to sniff. “Yeah, I will. If you let me see one of your dances.”
You hear Soonyoung’s smile through the radio as he tells you it’s a deal.
DAY SEVENTY-EIGHT.
For the first time since you started working, someone who isn’t Soonyoung calls you through the radio (not counting the time you radioed Jihoon to make sure he was still alive, because you only saw him once and hadn’t heard from him since then). You hear the familiar click that tells you someone’s on the station, and you’re fully expecting Soonyoung’s voice to light up your cabin the way it always does. Instead, Joshua’s voice rings through.
“You there?” He asks after a comfortable call of your name, and you pick up your radio.
“Yeah, I’m here. It’s been a while,” you respond, and Joshua hums. “How’ve you been?”
“I’ve… been,” he tells you, which earns a small laugh. “Anyways, I called in to let you know that they’re having trouble controlling the fire -”
You take a look at the giant flume of smoke north of your tower, nodding to yourself. “I can see that.”
Joshua tells you to be quiet. You hear the friendly smile in his voice.
“There’ll be an evacuation team here within the next two days,” he says. “Maybe less, shouldn’t be more. They’re gonna get all the lookouts evacuated.”
Oh. Evacuation? That means… the city. Your apartment, back to your family and friends. You’d forgotten an entire world exists outside of the bubble you created for yourself.
“Okay,” you say slowly, still looking at the fire. “I assume you’ve told the other lookouts?”
“I’ve got a few more to call, but other than that, yeah, everyone’s covered. I told Soonyoung and Jihoon first,” Joshua tells you, and you blink at the fact that you didn’t even have to ask. “I’ll see you on the other side.”
“Yeah. Stay safe, Josh.”
You sit for a while after that, trying to cope with the feeling in your chest. You… you feel better about everything, about writing, for sure, but. But. It’s cut short, even if only by a little over a week. You haven’t even started packing anything up - so much of you is strewn around the cabin, in the field around your tower, in the trees of the forest you hiked through. You don’t think you’re ready to say goodbye to the place you’ve made your home and the people (person, your heart whispers) with it. 
The sun starts to set and the fire grows. You sit on your bed and look at the things you’ve made your own, a sunken, unfinished emotion spreading through you. Eventually it is Soonyoung’s voice that comes from your radio, low and humorous.
“The Hoshi Fire can’t be stopped…” he murmurs, and you laugh despite the loss you feel. 
“Please,” you groan into your radio after you’ve grabbed it. “We’re getting evacuated!”
Soonyoung giggles, something mischievous that makes your heart warm with slow appreciation. “I can’t believe it’s ending so soon,” you say, standing up to walk around aimlessly.
“Yeah, the summer went by super fast, huh?” Soonyoung replies. “I’m kind of excited, though. I’ve missed a proper dance studio.”
That’s… oh. 
A current of mild surprise rolls through you and you think you physically feel your jaw drop, just a little. That - that hurt. More than you want it to, more than you think it should - but it’s... fine. You’ve only known Soonyoung for a few months, it’s not like…
You realize you haven’t responded and open your mouth on purpose this time. “I wish we could share the sentiment, Hoshi,” you joke, hoping it doesn’t sound too stiff. 
If Soonyoung notices anything, he doesn’t say it. Only laughs, sweet and genuine. “I’m sure you’ll find something to yearn for just as I yearn for dance,” he says dramatically. You laugh, forced, because yeah, you will. Maybe you already have.
DAY EIGHTY.
Evacuation day.
Last day in your tower. Last day in the forest. Last day of the job you took to escape, to heal. It’s spent packing up the things you brought with you, throwing away everything else. Joshua said helicopters would be touching down at two points - Twin Peaks lookout and Mule Point lookout. Twin Peaks is Soonyoung’s tower, and if you planned it out right, you could probably get there and leave with him.
You tell yourself that the reason you can’t is because Mule Point is closer. Safer. They’re evacuating you for a reason.
“Hey.”
Speak of the devil, you think, grabbing your radio from its charging port. “Hi.”
“So,” Soonyoung says. For the first time since you’ve known him, he seems awkward. “Evacuation day.”
“Yessir…”
“What evacuation point are you hiking to?”
You pause, hesitate like you’re about to say something you shouldn’t. “Mule Point,” you manage to get out. “It’s closer,” you say after, your brain telling you to justify it, explain.
“What did the Hoshi Fire ever do to you?” Soonyoung huffs out through a laugh, and it sounds so unaffected that you feel that ache from before again. After a second, he adds, “so… this’ll be the last we talk. At least for a while.”
That realization hits you like a brick and the sting behind your eyes seems normal - regardless of whatever was built between you and Soonyoung or what lead you out here in the first place, it’s so sad that it’s ending. “Yeah,” you say quietly. Everything is packed, you just need to get hiking. “I, um. Is it cheesy to say thank you?”
“Maybe,” Soonyoung chuckles. “But it’ll also make me feel really good, so…”
You feel yourself calm down and let out your own small giggle. Maybe it was always meant to end this way, a little too soon, a little too sad. “Really… thanks, Soonyoung. I think it would’ve been worse for me if I got the silence I came out here for. I’m glad I had you to talk to.”
“Thank you, too,” Soonyoung says back. “I hope… you write again. I’ll talk to you later.”
The mention of it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to, and you feel the smallest of smiles on your lips. “Yeah. Later.”
The radio clicks off and that’s the last you hear from Soonyoung.
EPILOGUE.
It’s hard to come back.
From nature, from Soonyoung - everything, really. To go from trees and fires and talking every night back to car horns, busy sidewalks and your own apartment. It’s weird to wake up and not see the immediate shine of the sun through your windows. But you come back, slowly get used to the life you had before.
And you start writing.
Given - you get back in August only start writing again in October, but you write. Little by little, page after page. Maybe not every day, like you used to, but the words are back and they are eager to get out, leave their mark as your work. You stand up to your management (with Minghao’s support) and take control of your own writing schedule. The pressure from before leaves. Writing becomes special more than ever, returns as the one thing you never get truly tired of.
Minghao asks about the job, your summer. You tell him it was easy and peaceful, and that you’re thankful for the time. You mention the other lookouts. You mention Soonyoung. Only in passing, though. 
(Minghao definitely suspects something, but even if he asked, you wouldn’t tell him much.)
Sometimes you allow yourself to think of him - when you got back, you looked for a Soonyoung in the multiple dance studios in the city, but since you didn’t have a last name or any proper title, nothing came up. After that, you gave up, but he still shows up in your thoughts from time to time, bright blonde hair (the roots growing in) and glowing smile. It’s cold out, now, so you hope he isn’t getting sick and that he’s staying warm.
You’re reminded of just how cold it is when you have to brace the outside world to get your mail. There’s not even any wind, just an undeniable cold, and it makes your nose burn and eyes water as you walk the short trek to your mailbox. You find your slot and push your key in, unlocking it and gathering your mail. Most of it is junk, but you could have sworn something you ordered was supposed to come today -
“Excuse me?”
You turn your head to the voice and find a man walking towards you, his head turned down towards a small piece of paper. His voice sounds familiar, but you figure it must just be a neighbor you haven’t spoken to in a while. You turn your body to him, waiting for him to look up from the note so you can place a name on him. “Do you know where I can find an author…”
He looks up.
It’s Soonyoung.
He looks a little different - his hair is shorter, dyed black instead of the platinum you remember from last July. But it’s definitely him. The longer you stare at each other the wider his smile gets, and you stand, speechless. He’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world. Your heart starts to race, warms you up beneath your jacket.
“Found you,” Soonyoung grins. You can’t take your eyes off of him.
“Yeah,” you breathe. “You did.”
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