#thats me wanting to share my whole life with my college roommate

[yaoireview]

sans undertale and asgore. were they yaoi.

yeah no thanks

GREEN EGGS AND HAM YAOI REVIEW

(That was a test, most tumblr users would've given up after that long image. Glad to know I'm dealing with a professional)

When I was a wee lad in preschool, this was my first exposure to yaoi. I told my nearest and dearest teacher about how gay they were. My teacher then whipped around to look at me and they said "How HEINOUS!" and then I was forced to write on the chalk board, "I won't call Green Eggs and Ham gay." like 50 times, bart simpson style

Well, where's Ms. Cyrus now? Shes DEAD and I'm succeeding. Its crazy how life works....

Anyhow.. lets get to the yaoi.

disclaimer. This review will NOT cover the show, but I'm pretty damn sure it just gives me more evidence.

EVIDENCE 1: Sam-I-Am's actions throughout the story

First of all, he drove past Guy-Am-I's (thats the other guys name.) chair, holding a SIGN OF HIS NAME. I dunno about you, but thats basically if I drove around giving out my number. Sam is CLEARLY desperate, and after he heard that Guy doesn't like him, he's got to find a way to make amends, and so he brought his favorite meal to share with him. Green Eggs and Ham.

Guy-Am-I is absolutely NOT down with this whole thing (To the naked eye, we'll get back to that.) and he tries to walk away as Sam-I-Am KNEELS over backwards trying to please this man. You may call it harassment, I call it true love.

I mean COME ON even I WOULD'VE folded at the box with the fox

The fox looks so polite too, you really gotta give him props.

Now so far this may make you skeptical. "Wait.. why aren't they kissing?? excuse me??" I would understand, I was once in your own position, my dear reader, but you must ALSO think about how

EVIDENCE 2: GUY-AM-I PLAYS HARD TO GET.

Guy just KEEPS on walking away from him. "Of course, its because hes annoyed." NO. Its because he's testing Sam for what he's gonna bring to this relationship. Guy has been hurt before, he doesn't want to have to go through that again, and so he makes sure that Sam isn't messing with him.

If he was TRULY bothered, he would've called the police, am I right? The police clearly do exist also, as there is no gun violence in Green Eggs and Ham.

After all the offers that Sam gives, he finally caves. Sam passed the test. Lesser men would have given up, but Sam is not less, he's more.

After one bite of the Green Eggs and Ham..

EVIDENCE 3: Guy-Am-I Fall for the Man.

Guy absolutely switches up on Sam and now he acts like they're old college roommates.

Now, if you're in a relationship with a romantic partner, be honest with me. Have they ever smiled like that? If not, I'm sorry to say, you haven't done enough.

They're clearly gained a sense of respect for each other after this journey, and I'm confident to say that this is not a relationship that will ever be broken by the fabrics of time.

SUMMARY:

If your man makes you Green Eggs and Ham in the morning, that's not your man. That's Guy-Am-I's man.

Yaoi: 10/10

[impur6]

Idk if anyone wrote about this but sometimes I wonder if I knew my friends in the past life. Like I’m college now and I’m trying navigate through the social groups and trying to a friend group. But I can’t find anyone that I can click with. Like no matter how nice people are, how many interests we share with each other, I cannot click with anyone. Cause I don’t think I’m the only one in the group thats going through that right now…

Yes some of them have found their groups but those groups didn’t replace the main one (I think…yet)

And that kind of made me realize that

A. My friend group rn is irreplaceable

B. I ain’t gonna find anyone else like them

I feel maybe it’s just present me talking cause like that’s how I am rn. But at the same time… I feel like… maybe we known each other in past lives…???????

Far fetched theory but like what if… yk?

What if we known each other in our past lives. Not like soulmate shit but like souls who recognize each other and like souls that trust each other…

This is sappy shit but like I genuinely cannot stop talking about them to other people like my roommates and I need an explanation.

And I also feel like as long as I have them, I don’t need anyone else yk?

I met up with a few of them the other day and the whole time it felt so natural and right?? And like ig someone in my friends new friend circle wanted to do something and they were like “no it’s soooo embarrassingggg”

And I thought to myself like “but it’s like just them?? Like why do you gotta be embarrassed??”

Am I like sounding insane like idk… maybe lmao

[greydiminishing]

Jan 20, 2024

Since my last writing about two and a half weeks ago, I've packed up, moved 6 hours away to school, unpacked and moved in, and had a whole week of classes! Well almost whole, it was a 4 day week.

I am doing,, just okay. I am so excited to be back on campus and in school. But I feel super behind since I've failed so many classes previously, and took basically 3 semesters off. I'm essentially a 22 year old 3rd year. I've been a student in this school for five years. I was supposed to graduate this year, but I have two more years left, at minimum. Some of the kids I have classes with were highschool freshmen when I was a college freshman. I feel self consious and ashamed about that.

I also feel like i'm already behind in some classes after only two actual class sessions (tues/thurs and wed/fri classes). I didnt get as much studying done as I would've liked in those five weeks that i time blocked (But getting into time blocking was definitely worth it, thats helping me so much).

I haven't had to do any actual math in TWO YEARS. I celebrated taking the "last math class of my life", completely forgetting that I need to take a calc-based physics class. Now im struggling in class to find the sides of a triangle with sohcahtoa 😭 If i don't glue my eyeballs to khan academy i'm gonna be a wreck trying to integrate and find derivatives.

And one class has an "Assignment 0" which is just downloading and setting up all the software we're gonna be using, and just trying to clone my gitlab repository took me several hours to figure out.

All the deadlines and assignments and quizzes and project dates has my head spinning. One class requires you to upload your notes to the lecture video before every single class (m/w/f class, so 3 times a week), and its something like 10% of your final grade. Idk i just think thats stupid lol. And I can't help but write notes differently when i'm concious of the fact that someone else will be reading them :/

But I will be studying hard, and getting stuff done early as to not fall behind.

That was academics, now onto my roommates.

I was placed in a random campus apartment with 3 other roommates. We each have our own room, but share the living room and kitchen. They're nice and i want to be their friend so bad, but I'm so socially awkward and i don't know how to make friends 😭. The thing is, I'm coming into "their" apartment mid-academic year, and thats only because their other friend moved out for an internship or something, so I got put in the vacant room. They're already a little friendgroup, the three of them plus the friend that moved out which they're still in group chats with. They might've even know each other before living here, they seem pretty close.

They're not intentionally excluding me or anything, but everytime i'm chatting with them it feels so awkward, and when I go back to my room and I can hear their fun conversations finally ignite. They talk about their mutual friends, and their parents, and plans to roadtrip. Then I go back out to fill my water bottle or make tea or something, mostly an excuse to join their conversation, and the conversation goes back to quiet and polite. I know I act the same way around new people as well, so its not their fault, but I dont know what to do, how to get around this. I heard them from my room talking about anime, and I so badly wanted to join them, but I didn't know how to do so naturally without creeping them out like I was eavesdropping their convo the whole time. You can only go fill your waterbottle so many times.

Its already the end of week 1 and i've barely talked to them. I'm afraid if we don't get more friendly soon, as time progresses, we'll get more stuck in the same routine and we'll only be able to be awkward and quiet around each other for the rest of the semester. I want to suggest we order some food tonight and maybe watch a movie, but idk is that weird? To suggest out of nowhere and not really knowing them? And theres no TV so we'd have to watch on someones laptop. Aughhhh idk. Plus I really need to get started on all this work i already have. Maybe i'll suggest it next weekend.

I'm already planning on making cookies for everyone tomorrow. A freshly baked cookie is the way to friendship, surely?

[katierosefun]

hi katie!!

i dont watch kdramas but my mom is obsessed with them, ive been loving the gifsets you post bc it gives me new shows to recommend to her. her favorite so far that ive recced from ur account is 25+21, that one absolutely wrecked her haha

she’s looking for some new ones rn and i was wondering if you had any faves i could send to her? in return ill tell you her favorites, ‘Descendants of the Sun’, ‘Crash Landing on You’, ‘Vincenzo’, ‘Yumi’s Cells’, and ‘Soundtrack #2(i think thats the name????)’

siarra, hello!! !!!! ! i'm so touched that you find the kdramas i reblog about interesting, esp. as i was a bit nervous about posting all of that stuff at first. but anyways! of course, i can absolutely rec some! if your mom liked the vibes of twenty five twenty one in particular, here are some below that have similar vibes . . . but i've also recced some that are from other genres but are still absolute faves, if your mom's interested in expanding her horizons!

be melodramatic (available on netflix, dramacool, kissasian, etc)

i absolutely adored this kdrama. like, my entire family's been listening to me laugh at it for the last month or so because i just took so much delight in the show. basically, it's about a group of thirty year olds living together: one is currently an aspiring drama writer, another is a single mother working in a production company, another is a documentarian who recently lost her partner, and the last one--although he's a side character, so he won't get as much screentime, but he's incredibly lovely--is an out gay musician. (and the representation is FANTASTIC. admittedly, he doesn't have a whole ton of scenes with his boyfriend, but whenever he does, they're very quietly sweet, and given that this show was released in 2019 and kdramas are unfortunately very heterosexual, this representation was genuinely . . . so good, in that queerness isn't ever a joke or a Token thing.) anyways, this show in general is just so . . . good. there are so many laughs, and the characters feel very real. you see them struggle, you see them achieve, you see them learn and heal and, i think what i loved the most from this show, was that you got to see them support each other over and over again. genuinely one of my favorite shows in the coming-of-age/slice-of-life genre!

2. age of youth/hello, my twenties! (available on netflix, kissasian, dramacool, etc)

this is another one of my fave coming-of-age/slice-of-life kdramas, and if your mom's still digging the "people in their twenties growing up and learning" vibes, this is another show that should be on her list! basically, this show is about a group of college-aged girls living together in a share house and all the highs and lows that they have to deal with because they're all in their twenties. this show, like be melodramatic, is very much so full of laughs and tears and everything in between. the characters are all so complex and nuanced, and they all make such a lovely group of friends. i find myself wishing i could revisit them :')

3. because this is my first life (available on netflix, viki, kissasian, dramacool, etc)

this is another really fantastic slice-of-life drama about two people in their thirties--and they get married for financial purposes. nothing more, nothing less. but of course, some other things happen along the way.

i really can't express enough how genuinely . . . sweet this drama is? one character is a drama writer who's taking a break from writing after some not-so-great things with her boss, and the other works in the software design field. so they've got pretty different personalities, but they fit together well? and you can tell that they do support each other or they want to support each other, even if they just feel like weird roommates at first. another plus of this drama is just! the power of female friendships! (can you see a pattern here?) they're great. you've got women in their thirties who are all at a different place with different dreams and different wants, and no dream is considered somehow lesser than the other, which is really fantastic. so in general: a really beautiful drama, with some genuinely beautiful lines as well!

4. our beloved summer (available on netflix, kissasian, dramacool, etc) 

this is a drama that i knew was going to be great . . . and it didn’t disappoint me! a genuinely soft and heartwarming drama--this is about a young woman and a young man who went viral in their high school years for being in a documentary together. now, they’re living different lives . . . and feeling still very frigid with one another because they dated after doing the documentary together. they broke up, but now, ten years after that documentary, they’re supposed to be filmed again, kind of as a “where are they now?” project.

this drama was just. i knew the premise was interesting, and the story was just perfect. lots of bittersweet feelings, as well as genuinely thoughtful insights into why someone might want to break up in a seemingly loving relationship. all about growth, maturity, as well as coming to terms with how to heal. this whole drama feels like a ray of sunlight.

other genres, that are not necessarily about youth/coming-of-age but are still genuinely lovely and i would recommend them anyways:

1. beyond evil (available on netflix, viki, kissasian, dramacool, etc) 

i don’t know how your mom feels about the thriller genre, but on the chance that she might be interested: i need to recommend beyond evil almost every time, just because i think it’s genuinely one of the best korean dramas--or tv shows in general--ever. it’s about a man who, 20 years ago, was accused of kidnapping and potentially murdering his twin sister. when a new detective comes to this small town, the murders start up again--and now this new detective and this once-accused man must find the truth of the murders together. 

i can’t express enough just how much this show is . . . so good. i would say it’s less a thriller and honestly . . . a little bit of melodrama as well, a bit of a romance. it’s also different from other thrillers in that this show never feels like trauma porn (esp. since so many thrillers/crime shows, unfortunately, tend to express overkill on the violence to largely female victims). this show also centers itself on exactly how much a tragedy impacts the victims--and how it’s never too late to heal or find justice or love or belonging in general. genuinely one of the best shows ever. the mystery is great, and the acting is fantastic, and the music and the writing and the CHEMISTRY, good grief, shin ha kyun and yeo jin goo’s chemistry is off-the-walls legendary. also worth noting that it’s won 3 baeksang awards (one of the most prestigious awards a drama can earn): one for best leading actor (shin ha kyun!!! my love!!), one for best script (because writer kim su jin put her everything into this show, and it’s quite insane to think that she’s actually still considered a very new writer), and one for best drama of 2021. because. because it really is, even though this show was slated for the worst time when it was airing. beyond evil was considered the underdog of the jtbc company, and yet it wound up coming on top in 2021, so that should tell you a little something about exactly how wonderful this show is!

2. miss hammurabi (available on viki, kissasian, dramacool)

so, this is a courtroom/legal korean drama about three judges, but mostly about one kind of unusual judge, who seems especially tenacious and determined to execute justice. the fact that i think this show was written by a former judge themselves, so it’s much more realistic and less melodramatic than most courtroom dramas you’ll find. (like, sometimes someone’s working in the legal field because they’ve got some personal scars, and that might influence the way they feel about the law, but not every legal kdrama needs to be about some personal agenda for revenge or anything . . . which! those kinds of kdramas can be really fun, but it was nice to see a kdrama about the law and how it works with an emphasis on exactly how simultaneously frustrating and hopeful the legal system can be). 

i just . . . i love this drama so much. you really do root for the characters, and there are so many scenes that just bring me a lot of comfort. there are also some themes about how important it is to lean a little bit on another person--and even though this show isn’t really romance-heavy, the main duo in this show is really :’)) wholesome :’)) 

3. w: two worlds (available on viki, kissasian, dramacool) 

this is honestly one of my fave supernatural-esque/contemporary fantasy-esque kdramas, and the fact that it’s been one of my faves for about six years says quite a lot. basically, this story is about a young doctor who accidentally winds up in the world of a comic written by her father. along the process, she keeps saving the main protagonist of this comic--and that has all kinds of consequences. 

it’s just . . . this show is so good. it’s so meta, and it’s genuinely smartly written, dealing with stories and the nature of stories and characters and it’s like ! there’s something so quietly metal about it. like! one of the lines being about “i am rooting for you to have a happy ending” is honestly one of my favorite lines ever, and i’ve heard myself saying it whenever i want to comfort someone as well. there’s just. like. a quiet determination about getting your happy ending, and the fact that this was working in a contemporary fantasy brought me a lot of joy. 

4. the crowned clown (available on netflix, viki, kissasian, dramacool) 

so, if your mom’s interested in historical/period dramas, the crowned clown is absolutely a must-watch. basically, this show is about a king who, after an attempt on his life, decides to use a commoner to take his place--a commoner who just so happens to share his exact same face. (think prince and the pauper, but now darker and in the joseon era.) 

besides the insanely good acting in this show, this show is just so great in the period drama sense because a lot of historical dramas (also known as saeguks) can be kinda boring in between the political jargon, but the crowned clown is so genuinely good in that the political court drama is very easy to follow, and it’s so rich in that like . .  there are so many things happening at once, but each part is so intriguing. you won’t be bored for a single second! (also worth noting that yeo jin goo, who was the lead actor in this show, made history by being the youngest ever actor nominated for a baeksang award in this show. i think he was only 21 or so when he was filming this show, maybe even younger, which is genuinely. insane. insane.) 

5. my mister (available on netflix, viki, kissasian, dramacool, etc) 

this drama is just so . . . good. i don’t really know what genre i would label this, because it’s partly thriller, partly . . . coming-of-age? i think? partly slice-of-life? but it’s a bit morbid at times, but it’s also healing? god, how to describe this show . . .

basically, it’s about a fortysomething man working as a structural engineer. he’s not . . . really happy with his life, although he never admits it. in his same company, there’s a young temp who’s currently paying back a bunch of debt to loan sharks, while also taking care of her deaf grandma. along the process of this show, they start to support and comfort each other. a win for platonic soulmates, because this show is just so . . . it means a lot to a lot of different people, and it’s not really a surprise that it got so much critical acclaim, despite its initially low rankings. a gem, very much like beyond evil in the sense that you go in expecting it to be dark, but you have zero regrets about watching it to the end.

6. tomorrow (available on netflix, kissasian, dramacool) 

this is another contemporary fantasy/supernatural kdrama, and i honestly adore it. this show follows a bunch of grim reapers, only instead of escorting someone to their afterlife, these grim reapers prevent people from committing suicide. as you might imagine, this show might cover some pretty difficult themes (some of them including miscarriage, bullying, ptsd). however, this show is special in that it covers all these themes with so much compassion. so much compassion. this show never really feels like it’s overdoing the suffering that people go through in order to want to kill themselves--they show just enough, and they do so in a way that’s almost like . . . it feels like it’s genuinely out of respect for the people who might have suffered through these similar situations. they show enough necessary pain to demonstrate that these are legitimate problems, but they never go overkill where it feels like trauma porn. 

i should also note that the characters in this show are just . . . god, i love them. i love them. the trio of grim reapers we get to know are genuinely just . . . chaotic and adoring and i haven’t loved a trio like this since like. the clone wars. which says a lot. (also, if you or your mom likes the sunshine/sunshine protector + sunshine protector dynamic, this is def. present in this show.) 

anyways. it’s a healing show. a must-watch for anyone and everyone, i think. it made me want to be a better person, and it brought me so much comfort, especially when i wanted to not think about reality for a bit. 

[imaginedxlan]

Beta (Fred Weasley)

a/n: I had a whole frat boy series for the dolan twins and I cannot stay away, frat boys have my heart, both in real life and in imagines. Everything I do in life is for the chads and brads of the world.

beta theta pi has always been a fraternity you were intimidated by. they’re title as top house has always made you feel too insecure to go anywhere near them, but when your best friend starts dating a beta boy you’re forced to face the top house at their annual spring darty (day party for those who are unware)

disclaimer: hogwarts is basically just one greek row shawties. beta boys are hot, so expect the hottest of hogwarts to be in it.

y/f/n = your friend’s name

warnings: alcohol, sexual allusions, fratboy!fred

_____________

As the weather gets warmer on campus, that can only mean one thing: Darty Season. After suffering through the brutal winter, greek row opens up its lawns and lake front docks to the brothers and sisters of the greek system. Being the undisputed top house, Beta Theta Pi’s spring darties are always the most coveted invite. With their massive backyard and gallons of supplied liquor, theres not a soul on greek row who wouldn’t want a taste of the party of a lifetime. Well, except one.

You never bought into the beta supremacy like all of your sorority sister have. To be quite honest, you’re slightly terrified of the brick faced mansion only a block away from you. You’ve never heard anything that bad about the brothers, just that their looks and entitlement make any girl an easy target for heartache. 

Before you came to college, you had a longterm boyfriend who you agreed to stay with as long as possible, even over long distance. However, the summer before you kissed your hometown goodbye, he decided being tied down wasn’t for him and slept with a girl he met at orientation. He was only away for three days. So you kept your distance from beta and all the boys who had the capacity to make you feel as shattered as you did the July morning your ex boyfriend returned from his trip with a hickey on his neck. 

Your distance suddenly became harder to keep when your best friend, your roommate and sorority sister, shacked up with some beta boy she met in her communications class. You warned her as much as you could, her boyfriend being the blonde rich boy every girl whispered about, but Draco proved you wrong the minute he started begging her to be his girlfriend. 

So here you are, next to y/f/n who’s tucked under Draco’s arm as you walk toward the house thats bursting with sound and alcohol. He insisted on walking the two of you to the house, assuring none of the pledges would look at ‘his girl’ the wrong way. You’ve passed the beta house plenty of times over your past two years at school, never once have you gotten over the sinking feeling in your stomach to ever go in.

“Y/n, relax, we’re not a bunch of cavemen,” Draco speaks up once he notices how you’re holding your arms across your chest. Y/f/n told him about why you were so apprehensive about him, about his fraternity, he promised he’d be with you both the whole day. “Lets get something to drink, loosen you both up a bit.”

He takes you both to where there are pledges handing out cans of seltzers and beer and snags you both white claws before they’re gone. He sticks to his word and hangs around the two of you no matter how many times his brothers come up to him and try to convince him to join in on a game of beer di or chicken in the lake. You start feeling bad for him, y/f/n too, you know you’re holding them back in a sense. You tell both of them you’re okay if they want to hang out with his friends once you spot a couple of other girls in your sorority. 

The minutes feel like hours, while you’re having a fine time with your girl friends, you wish this party would end more than anything. Before you know it, y/f/n is screaming your name from the dock, waving you over. Once you get there she’s dragging you toward the lake, urging you to take off your top and shorts so you could play chicken with her and Draco. You immediately agree until you’re hit with the realization that you needed a fourth in order to play chicken.

Enter Fred Weasley. You’ve seen the twins around campus, everyone talks about them. Six foot something with fiery red hair and gorgeous bodies. You’ve seen their bare torsos on more saturday night snapchat stories than you can count. His baby blue swim hang low on his hips, putting his freckle littered chest and abdomen completely on display.

“Fred,” He says casually, reaching out his hand. “Most people call me Weasley, or Freddie.”

Your breath hitches, his hands are massive. You bite your lip to take his hand in yours, you’ve never actually shaken hands with any guy you’ve met at this school. You reply without meeting his burning gaze, “Y/n.”

All he says is a quiet ‘I know’ almost like you weren’t meant to hear it, before y/f/n is calling from Draco’s shoulders for the two of you to hurry up.  Your stomach turns at the thought of being on top of his shoulders. This won’t be a fair fight, Draco isn’t even six foot and Fred is a giant.

You edge closer to the stairs of the dock, Fred just jumps right in. The water is cold, unsurprisingly. Everything in you is praying that the chill of the water cools the flush that is running across your cheeks. Fred dunks his whole body under the water and feels for your ankles to pull you over his shoulders. The grips his huge hands have on the tops of your thighs makes butterflies erupt in your stomach.

“You ready?” He asks once you’re steady on his shoulders. You can’t see his face but you wish you could. His messy, wet hair splayed across his forehead must be a sight to for sore eyes. “I’ve got you tight up there, just don’t tip.”

You tell him you’re good before he makes his way over the Draco with y/f/n on top of him. She’s shorter than you, at least half a foot which makes it easier for you to put your hands on her shoulders to gain control. You’re both laughing as you try and push the other over. You’re almost having too much fun to forget that you’re in a bikini on top of arguable the best looking boy in your year in front of a backyard of hundreds of drunk students. Usually you would be more insecure about your current situation, but you can’t bring yourself to care. Eventually y/f/n loses her balance and topples over, bringing Draco down with her. Fred shouts out in celebration once they emerge front the lake. In a swift motion, his slippery hands pull your body off his shoulders to stand in front of him. His hand absentmindedly goes to your waist as he continues to shout at Draco for ‘being such a loser.’

His smile is radiant. It makes you smile with him and laugh with y/f/n as she rings out her hair. For the rest of the day, Fred barely leaves your side, his hand continues to make its way to hold you close to him by your waist. The drunker you get the less you notice it, you actually sort of like it. Any time a drinking game arises, he immediately pulls you along with him. Beer pong, flip cup, rage cage, he’s always planted next to you as you drink the day away. You meet his twin and his other friends who give him a knowing look when they see you practically joined at the hip.

His friend Blaise can’t help but smile your way, a shit eating grin gracing his features. He whispers something in Fred’s ear which makes him laugh a little. His laugh is perfect, you wouldn’t need even alcohol, you could get completely drunk off his features. You like the beta boys, you can’t understand why you were ever scared of them in the first place. George and Oliver talk to you as if you’ve know them for years, chatting about your mutual friends and your hometowns. You feel comfortable with them, it makes you happy.

“S’getting late,” He says, he isn’t slurring but his wobbly stance gives off that he’s clearly drunk. As the sky turns all shades of orange, you realize just how much time you’ve spent with him. You haven’t seen Draco or y/f/n in a while, meaning their probably up in his room. “I’ll walk you home.”

“You don’t have to do that,” You protest, shaking your head but he stops you. His hand rests on the side of your neck, making you choke on your breath as you meet his eyes. His lazy smile makes your heart race.

“You’re very pretty, you know that?” He drunkenly stumbles over his words. Your heart is hammering against your rig cage, you feel weirdly sober now that he’s staring into your eyes. “Had class with you last semester, couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”

You continue to shake your head, wondering if this day had just been a wild dream and you were going to wake up in yours and y/f/n’s shared room in your pajamas any second. But his hand travelling up your side pulls you into the realization that this is reality.

“Can I kiss you?”

You don’t reply, you simply lift onto your toes to meet his lips with yours. If you were completely sober, you would never be so bold but everything in you was screaming for his touch. His lips are warm, a completely one-eighty from his cold hands against your skin. The party goes on around you but you feel like time stands still in Fred’s embrace. He pulls away from you for just a second to catch his breathe before leaning down to catch you in another kiss. His hand moves from your waist to the small of your back as the kiss deepens.

You eventually pull from each other, breathless, once you feel beer from various cups splash against your skin as a group of boys huddle next to you to sing out whatever song is playing at the moment. You both laugh as you lean your head against his bare chest, drinking in this moment.

“Come on then,” He says, taking your hand in his. Your head is spinning, not from the alcohol, but from the complete state of bliss you’re in. “I’ll grab you a shirt and get you home.”

You walk back to your house, hand in hand with his tee shirt hanging just above your knees, talking about everything under the sun. While the walk itself is short, the moment seems to last forever. When you each your front lawn, he tugs on your hand to pull you into him once more, feeling his soft lips meet yours. Your heart flutters as you walk toward your front door, turning back to him and he smiles at you, making your heart melt.

“Goodnight, Freddie.” You call out from the opened door. He gives you a small waves and tells you he’ll see you soon. Once the door is shut you close your eyes and can’t help but smile. You squeal, causing the girls in your living room to look out the window and see Fred Weasley with his fingers on his lips and a wide smile. They pull you onto the couch and beg you to tell them all about your day in the background of beta theta pi. You can’t contain your grin as you relay today’s events to your sorority sisters.

Maybe beta isn’t so scary after all.

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Robin//two queens in a king sized bed

hey! happy holidays gays!! and to everyone who doesn’t celebrate christmas, i hope you’re having an amazing day!! this is based off ‘two queens in a king sized bed’ by girl in red. because i heard it and instantly fell in love. enjoy!!

The snow falls lazily outside the comforts of Robin’s bedroom. Snowflakes float on the soft breeze, adding to the white blanket that’s enveloped the entire town. It sparkles in the moonlight, making the entire street look magical. 

But neither you or Robin care. You pull the garish blue and green comforter further over your head and Robin cuddles closer to you. Her toes wiggle against your legs making you squeak in surprise at the coldness, and when you force an eye open to look at her, she just sends you an innocent look back. 

You shift until you’re on your back and Robin takes the opportunity to rest her head on your chest and wrap a loving arm around your waist. The soft fabric of her your shirt reminds her of being back at college. Where the two of you can cuddle in bed without having to also be on high alert that someone could walk in. You can lock the doors to your shared dorm, but you can’t lock a bedroom door.

Even if she could, her mom would just sacrifice a pin from her hair and pick the lock. Robin sometimes likes to theorize that in a past life her mom was a spy. It makes sense, she can pick locks far too quickly for a normal stay at home mom, and she has an incredible habit of finding things that Robin has carefully hidden. 

She wishes you were back at college. She was going to stay after learning you weren’t going back to your own parents for the holidays. She was so looking forward to spending an entire two weeks with you. Nobody else around just the two of you having the whole campus to explore together. She could kiss you underneath street lamps in the snow, or while hiding in the corner of dark clubs that smell of sweat and weed, and she wouldn’t have to check if anyone was around and watching as many times as she usually does. 

But then she told her mom, and before she’d even finished her sentence she was adamant that her only daughter was going to be staying on some college campus by herself for two weeks. She thought telling her about you, about how the new friend she’d made was going to be alone over Christmas so she was just being a good person and offering to stay. 

Yeah, Robin’s made some mistakes in her time. Following Harrington into that elevator was one of them, but this was definitely the biggest. Her mom had pestered her for a week after about how she could bring you home and then it’s a win-win, and after some persuasion and promise to buy you anything you wanted, you finally agreed. Even if it was funny to watch Robin try to avoid her mothers phone calls, and the two visits to your dorm. 

She sighs deeply and runs a light finger over the exposed part of your stomach. You move slightly, but don’t tell her stop and when she looks up, she sees a gentle smile ghosting your lips. 

Her head leans against your chest again and she listens to your steady heartbeat while you listen to her parents clatter about downstairs. 

Mrs Buckley decided on preparing some of tomorrow’s dinner tonight. She has a lot of guests coming over tomorrow so she wanted everything to be perfect. However when you hear a loud crash and not so muffled curse, you figure she’s starting to regret that decision. 

You let out a short laugh that shakes Robin and she sits up surprised. 

“Are you laughing at my parents miss-fortune?” She asks, raising an eyebrow and staring down at you. 

“Yes.” You reply bluntly making her snort a laugh. 

“Good.” She replies. “She deserves it for dragging us back. I’ve been trying for so long to get away from this stupid town. But every time I seem to make it far enough away, it always manages to drag me back.” She huffs and you see pain flash through her eyes. 

Her fingers pick at the sheet underneath you and you watch as she struggles with something. A small war has just started in her own head and you can see her battling on both sides. 

“Hey, hey.” Your voice is as gentle as it can be as you sit up. You rest a hand against her cheek and she slowly raises her head to look at her. She’s biting her lip, a coping mechanism to stop her from crying. “It’s okay.” You soothe and wipe underneath her eyes. The wetness from her cheeks dulls the perfectly disorganized splay of freckles that litter her face and that alone makes a sadness settle in your chest.

A stray eyelash catches your finger and you hold it up to her lips. She looks between you and your finger and a teary smile pulls at her lips

“Make a wish.” You whisper and she closes her eyes, letting another tear roll down her face and land on her crossed legs. But she leans forward anyway and you watch as she scrunches her face up in concentration before blowing lightly. 

“You’re okay Robin.” You reassure her once her eyes are open again. It takes a minute for her to calm down, but soon she slowly lies down again. You follow suit and wrap your arms around her, pulling her tight to her chest.

“What did you wish for?” You ask curiously and she sends you a look. 

“None of your business.” She mumbles. 

“I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” You beg and she rolls her eyes. 

“Fine, I wished for a less annoying girlfriend.” She glares at you but you just grin back at her. 

“Ha! Jokes on you because now you’ve told me it won’t come true.”

“Damn.” 

Of course that isn’t what she wished for. She’s going to keep her real wish locked away safely in order for it to come true. She wished for another Christmas like this with you, and then she wished for all of them afterwards. She settles back into your chest and smiles contently. 

“If I knew I’d get this view, I’d have gotten upset a whole lot more.” She teases, her voice raspy from the tears, but you can tell she’s smiling and it makes you roll your eyes. 

“Shut up.” You giggle. “And go to sleep. Otherwise Santa won’t come.” 

“Excuse me. I’ve been very good all year. He most definitely will...otherwise he’ll have the wrath of my mother to deal with.” 

“Yikes.” You say. 

“Exactly.” She mumbles against your chest. Your eyes flutter shut and thoughts of what the the next few days hold rattle around in your head. Robin’s told you about her mom’s brother and his second wife. They only properly got together 6 months ago, but she’s 8 months pregnant so you can do the math. 

You wonder if Robin’s grandparents are going to be as nice as she’s told you. A lot of Robin’s happiest memories come from hanging out with her grandparents, specifically her grandfather and you’re excited to meet them. But with that excitement, there’s also a sense of nervousness bubbling underneath it. 

You may be meeting them just as Robin’s friend and roommate, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want them to like you any less. You want to see Robin happy, and to be happy, her family has to like you, even if she’s told you countless of times she doesn’t care what they think of you. 

An alarm rings beside your head and your eyes snap open, a small part of you worries it’s already time to get up and if thats the case you’re not at all prepared. But then Robin rolls over and slaps the top of her alarm clock with far too much force for any normal person. You close your eyes again and wait for her to lie back down, but she doesn’t, and you can feel her staring at you. 

“Can I help you?” You ask, refusing to open your eyes as an act of protest. 

“Merry Christmas.” She replies and you can sense the grin she has. The tiredness from Robin’s tour of Hawkins has finally hit you. The highlights were ‘and this is the mall that i burnt down, but if anybody asks, it wasn’t me’ and ‘oh, thats where me and dingus used to work.’ 

The smile on her face while you were stood outside of Family Video was bittersweet. Steve moved out of Hawkins almost as soon as Robin did. And even though she was of course happy that he was finally getting away from all the shit this town had given him, a part of her was sad that he would no longer be here when she came back.

You may be tired. But it doesn’t mean you ever want to miss an opportunity see Robin Buckley smile. It’s a sight that you think everyone should see at least once. It fills your entire body with warmth and light and no matter how you’re feeling it’s guaranteed to cheer you up just a little. The only problem is, is that no matter how hard you try to capture it in a photograph, it just never seems to do it justice. There’s nothing quite like seeing the real thing. 

So you open your eyes and sure enough you feel yourself relax at the sight of your girlfriend smiling above you. Her short hair falls down around here face and you reach a hand up to tuck a few strands behind her ear. 

“Are you blushing?” You tease making her roll her eyes at you.

“No.” She crosses her arms while pouting at you. “Again...Merry Christmas.” 

“Merry Christmas.” You reply, a gentle smile settling on your lips and you watch her face light up. 

She throws herself back down against the mattress making the old springs creak a little, and when she’s comfy enough, turned on her side so she can face you and propping her head up with her hand, she waggles her eyebrows playfully. 

“Not gonna happen.” You say. “I don’t want to be on Santa’s naughty list.” 

“Prude.” She mumbles and you let an offended huff. 

Her fingers skate gently down the side of your face, they trace the curve and bumps until finally she cups your cheek and tugs lightly until your facing her. 

“Can I kiss you?” She whispers and a playful smile tugs at your lips and now it’s your turn to blush. 

She hovers above you, her lips are parted while she waits for an answer and you’re sure its a mix of the slightly dim light and the thoughts clouding your mind, but they’re looking very kissable. It feels like she’s peering into your soul and you start to feel a little exposed, especially when the hand that was on your cheek moves further down. It traces your collarbones and leaves a trail of fire wherever it goes. 

“Do you have any mistletoe?” You ask after definitely far too long of just looking at her. Taking all of her in is impossible to do. There’s so much to Robin that you’d need a lifetime to notice every single thing, but you hope more than anything that that’s what you’re going to get.  

She pulls her eyes away from you, glancing up at the wooden bed frame before looking back at you and shaking her head. 

“Sorry.” She shrugs, her voice raspy and it makes your head dizzy. “But can I kiss you anyway?” She asks and you slowly nod your head. 

Her hand travels back to your face, her fingers curl around your cheek making them feel hotter than they already were. Her eyes flutter closed and you follow suit. You crane your head up to meet her halfway, bumping your nose against hers and the two of you giggle quietly in the moonlight. 

But you can’t wait anymore, you need to feel her, to have her. You just need her. So you cut her laughter off with a chaste kiss and she instantly relaxes against you. She’s kissing you back instantly, not giving you a chance to pull back and her lips a soft against yours, so soft that they make your head spin and your heart hammer in your chest. And even though you’ve kissed her countless of  times before, there’s something special about this one. 

She moves to sit on your lap and you sit up to make it easier for her. You hands fall to her hips and she cups both your cheeks, pulling you impossibly further into her. 

She’s the first to pull away, but you chase her for a few seconds making her smile at you so lovingly you feel like your chest is going to implode. She looks at you like you can give her the moon, the stars and the rest of the universe. 

She looks at you like she’s known you you’re entire life, despite it only being four months, but most importantly she looks at you like you’re the most special human being on the planet. 

And to her, you are. You always will be, she can feel it. She felt it the day she met you. 

Her parents had left her stood on the curb outside the main building, her dad wanted to beat the traffic back and her mom was too busy sobbing to do anything about it. 

Robin very rarely feels anxious, the last time she felt this sort of nervousness was when she was throwing fireworks in a burning mall. The feeling crawls up her throat until it settles in a lump she can’t seem to swallow. 

But then you appeared, with your bright smile and kind eyes. And you introduced yourself and she’s never heard a prettier name. Your fingers brushed against hers when you shook her head and she felt her brain short-circuit.

You offered to help her carry her things to her room, and she hoped you’d be roommates, you had a warmth about you that made her feel safe. And she remembers the smile that graced your lips when you realized you were in fact roommates. She doesn’t think she’ll ever forget it...not that she really wants to. 

It’s weird to think how much one person can mean to you. How you can go from strangers to them being the most important person in your life in a matter of months. It’s weird to think that all of sudden they’re the only thing on your mind, the highlight of your day, the person you’d give everything to even if you did only have a little.

When you look at Robin, all those little thoughts swarm your entire being. The thought that you’ve found someone to share your life with fills you with so much excitement. All your time is going to spent on her. Talking to her, thinking about her...loving her. 

She kisses you again, this time it’s much slower, but it doesn’t mean it leaves you any less breathless and when she pulls away to lie back down, you feel a certain kind of cold settle in your bones.

Her legs tangle with yours and you wrap an arm around her. Her head rests against your chest, and even though her chin is slightly uncomfortable, you don’t mind. 

The closer she is the better, so no matter how uncomfortable you are, you’ll stay right here forever, until forever disappears and you’re both left with nothing but each other. 

[princessjungeun]

One Last Chance: Mina x Reader

Request: Hi! your stories are awesome! Is it okay I can request Mina x female reader college life, where Mina is the most popular rich girl, and her friends place a bet that Mina has to go out with you and make you fell in love with her but turns out the time you guys were together Mina eventually fells in love and tries to call off the bet, and you heard the whole thing, heartbroken you avoided her and Mina did anything that she could to bring you back, fluffy ending (: pleas and thank you!

Hi my loves. This is the long Mina scenario I was asking about earlier. This is really REALLY long but you all promised you wouldn’t mind so here it is 🙃

You transferred to Sungkyunkwan University at the beginning of this semester. Originally you attended MIT for Software Engineering, hacking is your specialty. When a professor recommended you for a study abroad, you couldn’t pass it up. You knew Korean well due to growing up in a heavily Korean influenced neighborhood as a child.

Coming to Korea wasn’t that bad because you were able to meet a few other people over social media before you arrived. You met your roommate months before you flew in so you already had one best friend.

Upon your arrival you already drew up quite a bit of attention. Somehow people found out you were from MIT which they couldn’t believe. Your roommate made sure to make you aware of who to avoid and who was friendly. Pretty much everyone was nice but she told you to watch for one group of girls.

Which is why when you were approached by none other than Mina Myoui aka the richest bitch in the whole school you were beyond confused. The raven haired girl asked “Hey. You’re Y/N right?” You had never seen Mina up close, she was ten times more beautiful than you thought.

“Wait do you speak Korean? I’m sorry. Are you Y/N?” She switched to English when you didn’t respond right away. You quickly tried to answer without sounding stupid “I-Uh um yes I am Y/N and I speak Korean yeah sorry I...I uh. I’m sorry...yeah.” You mentally face palmed yourself for not being able to say one simple sentence to her.

She sat down and said “you’re new and from what I know your only friend is Kahei. So meet me at the cafe down the street at 6, I’ll be waiting.” Before you could respond she got up and walked back to her group of friends who seemed to be laughing. You noticed two of the girls from her group. Im Nayeon was in one of your engineering classes while Minatozaki Sana was in a psych class you took to fill an empty slot.

When you got back to your dorm Kahei was on her bed reading a book. She asked “where’d you go?” You responded “the quad to start a project. But something really weird happened.” Kahei sat up on her bed and patted the spot next to her, “come on talk to me I wanna know.”

“That really rich and pretty girl....Mila? She’s friends with Im Nayeon and Minatozaki Sana...she came up to me and told me to meet her at the cafe down the street at 6.” Kahei’s eyes widened and she loudly said “MINA MYOUI ASKED YOU ON A DATE?” You shrugged then nodded. Kahei made you resite every thing that happened leading up to her asking you out for coffee. In the end she said “hmmmm...I don’t trust it. It sounds fake.” You responded “I do admit it’s a little suspicious that the most rich and popular girl in school asked me, the poor foreigner to a date...”

Kahei told you “well even if it is fake you’re gonna go to find out.” You looked at your sweatpants and t shirt you were currently wearing. You hair was in a messy bun and your thick glasses sat lopsided on your face. “Do rich people like girls who look like me?” You asked uncertainly. Kahei responded “only one way to find out!”

When you went to the cafe Kahei decided to tag along but sit at a different table with her girlfriend Haseul.

Mina arrived shortly after you, “oh i honestly didn’t think you’d show up.” She was surprised to see you actually came. You looked at you hands in your lap “I mean I think it’s rude to blow someone off...” Mina sat down across from you “you look really pretty.” You could tell that it was a genuine complement by the way she smiled softly when she said it. I guess rich people do like girls like me you thought to yourself.

For the next hour she asked you about everything there was she should know about you. Kahei told you to make sure not to disclose every detail about yourself because she still didn’t trust Mina. However by the end of the night you were convinced she was genuine.

•

•

•

Weeks passed and you continued to meet up with Mina, you knew Kahei and Haseul warned you about catching feelings too quickly but you couldn’t help it. Mina seemed so sweet and genuine despite her rich bitch demeanor.

You sat in the library working on a project with your classmate Yuqi. “I know we just met like this week but I don’t trust her either, I’m with Kahei on this one.” You don’t know why you decided to spill all of your business to Yuqi but something about her seemed trustworthy. You rolled your eyes “You all are delusional.”

Deep down you believed Kahei and Haseul and now Yuqi but you didn’t want to admit it. Mostly because you caught feelings for Mina. Badly. Yuqi didn’t pull her eyes away from her laptop “I-I’m just saying something here isn’t adding up. This isn’t right.”

“I’m just gonna- give me a minute.” Yuqi furiously typed away on her laptop, occasionally smiling and laughing to herself. After about two minutes passed she flipped her screen around in front of you was a KakaoTalk page. Mina Myoui’s to be specific.

“Yuqi! WHAT DID YOU DO?!” You whisper yelled to the younger girl who sat with a smile on her face. She simply answered “I hacked into her account. See?” You responded “I’m not reading her messages. That’s an invasion of privacy.” Yuqi responded “Ok well if you won’t I will, she has no relevance to me so it can’t hurt the nonexistent relationship between us.”

She scrolled and scrolled her facial expressions changing from surprised to one you couldn’t quite read. “Y-Y/N....um...I don’t know if you should read this yourself or not.” You felt a pit in your stomach form knowing whatever she had in front of her wasnt good news.

Yuqi slid her laptop to you and you read the messages shared between Mina and her friend group:

Sana: you have three days left in this bet Myoui

Chaeyoung: Sana’s right, you need to figure out how to get Y/N to confess to you

Nayeon: yeah if you don’t you can kiss that Maldives trip bye bye and we can say hello to that shopping spree :)

Mina: I dont want this anymore guys

Sana: are you chickening out?

Chaeyoung: shes chickening out

Mina: it’s not that

Nayeon: so what is it

Mina: nevermind

Jeongyeon: i might be in this friend group but this is wrong on every level

Tzuyu: I’m with Jeongyeon unnie

Dahyun: Me too

Momo: what bet? who is Y/N? I WANT A SHOPPING SPREE!

Jihyo: No you dont

Momo: no i do not

Jihyo: but I’m with Jeongyeon and the kids.

You couldn’t believe what you were reading. There was no way in hell Mina could have done this to you. Absolutely no way. Wanting to find some sort of happy ending you scrolled to a different chat with only this Jeongyeon girl. These newer messages brought on a new wave of emotions.

Jeongyeon: why are you trying to call it off now. You were all excited about it and now you want nothing to do with it.

Mina: I don’t know, It just feels wrong now

Jeongyeon: I know you Mina there’s something else

Mina: Theres nothing else

Jeongyeon: dont you dare lie to me

Mina: fine.

Mina: i like her. A lot. And i want to be with her.

Jeongyeon: then make your move

Mina: but if she finds out it was started with a bet....

Jeongyeon: well then come clean and apologize and pray she stays around. But honestly if i was her i wouldnt give you a second chance

Mina: thats not very reassuring

Jeongyeon: i’m disappointed in you, that’s the best you’re getting for now

Mina: ok, thank you unnie

Mina: i’m doing it tomorrow i’ll tell you how it goes

Jeongyeon: mhm

You looked to see when that last message was sent and it read yesterday’s date. So she was planning to confess or come clean today. Immediately you stood up and put your belongings in your bag before leaving Yuqi alone in the library.

You walked across campus to the dance studio where you found Mina dancing with another girl. “Myoui.” You pushed your glasses up to prevent them from sliding down. Mina turned and saw you “Y/N hey I thought we were going to meet la-”

You cut her off “I love you Mina Myoui, with all my heart I do! Is that what yo want to hear? Can you go to the Maldives now? You won. Congratulations bitch.” Mina looked at the other girl who stood in the room, she looked really confused and got uncomfortable and sprinted out, almost falling on her own feet.

“What are you talking about? I won? Maldives?” Mina questioned you. You snapped back “I didn’t stutter did I?” She replied “how did you- Who told you?” You responded “It’s not who told me or how I found out. You placed a stupid bet on me and toyed with my heart as if you were interested and I fell for your bullshit. Stay the fuck away from me. And if I catch you even thinking about talking to Kahei...you’ll wish you didn’t.” You turned around and walked out not giving Mina a chance to talk.

•

•

•

Weeks passed and the semester was coming to a close in 6 weeks. You hadn’t heard a thing from Mina or any of her friends. Sana and Nayeon stayed away from you when they had class with you. Kahei, Haseul, and Yuqi introduced you to their friends instead to make up for the relationship you once had.

Out of all of the girls you met through Kahei and Yuqi, Jinsoul and Miyeon were closest with you. Miyeon walked into your room “Hey. We’re going to a party and you’re coming. All you’ve done is moped around, worked on projects, or went to the boxing gym. It’s been too long you need to go out.” You groaned “don’t you have work today?” Miyeon responded “ok we meant you and Jinsoul but she’s finishing an assignment so she sent me to tell you.” You rolled over on your face knowing there was no getting out of this.  “Ugh fine.” You giving into your friends wishes.

Miyeon left and outfit for you before leaving your dorm to head to work. You looked over your reflection in the mirror. Miyeon definitely tried something with this outfit because you never wore these types of clothes.

You were finishing up your hair when Jinsoul unlocked your door, ready to go. “Woah...You look so good!” She jumped up and down and clapped her hands excitedly. You quickly but in your shoes and grabbed your phone before she yanked you out of the door.

This house party was definitely run by someone rich because this house was really nice. You linked arms with Jinsoul and held her hand so you wouldn’t lose her in the crowd of people. The two of you found your friend groups and stayed together with them for most of the night.

You noticed some of Mina’s friends were there as well but you didn’t see Mina. Jinsoul danced against you as you held her close laughing at her antics. Throughout the night you noticed she was watching one girl in particular, Kim Jungeun. She was in your guys’ friend group but because there’s a total of 19 girls in the group, the two of you weren’t exactly close with everyone. You know she went by Kim Lip, only allowing a few people to call her Jungeun.

“Ooo I see Lip is alone, now’s your chance go go!” You pushed Jinsoul towards the girl. Your best friend responded “no what about you I see Mina’s friends here, what if she arrives?” You pushed her further “i’ll be fine I can handle myself, just keep your phone on!” She nodded and let her hand slip out of yours, running towards Kim Lip.

You danced on a few girls and a few random dudes before getting tired of the environment. Knowing you couldn’t leave Jinsoul, you decided to walk upstairs to see if there was anything to explore. You accidentally walked in on a couple before you realized you should knock on doors before opening them.

You found a door that was open so you walked in, ready to punch of someone came at you unexpectedly. The room was large, like really large, pictures hanging on the walls, stuffed animals lining whoever’s bed it was.

However the most eye catching thing was the gigantic window that overlooked the city. You slid it open and saw there was enough room on the roof for you to safely sit. Taking in deep breaths of cool air you hugged your knees to your chest.

A knock on the shingles is what snapped you out of your trance. You expected Jinsoul but instead you saw Mina. The Japanese girl softly asked “Do you mind?” You responded coldly “no.” She smiled and walked out sitting next to you, “Id hope not, you are sitting on my roof.” You asked “so this is your place? This isn’t the same one I visited those times though.” Mina responded “rich people unnecessarily buy multiple houses.” An awkward silence fell over the two of you.

She looked at you but you stared straight ahead waiting for her to talk. Eventually you grew impatient, “I’m pretty sure you didn’t come out here to look at me, so whatever you have to say just go ahead.” She sighed then said “I’m sorry. I truly am. My friends were being stupid one day and betted me to go ask you out. Originally my intentions weren’t true and I only wanted to win. But after getting to know you...I kind of fell for you and I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry.”

You could tell she was being genuine by the tone in her voice. You hesitated then said “I loved you Mina.” She quickly responded “I love you too.” You were quick to ruin the moment “I said loveD. Past tense. I-I don’t know if i can trust you anymore.

Mina reached for your hand and you allowed her to hold it. “Please Y/N. Give me one last chance and if I mess it up you’ll never have to even think about me. I’ll make sure my friends don’t think about doing anything. Please just one more chance. Please.” Something about seeing her like this made your heart melt and butterflies erupted in your stomach.

You gave in “Fine. One last chance. That’s it.” She smiled and finally you looked at her. Her adorable gummy smile that you once loved so much was back. She placed a hand behind your neck, with her eyes she asked you for permission. You nodded and she kissed you softly. In that moment you remembered every reason why you loved Mina before.



[cenestpasmoi-bechloe]

As I Lost My Heart in You

When you’re 16, initials of your soulmate appears on your wrist.It varies by person, but everyone usually spends time trying to find theirs.  It doesn’t always mean that there’s going to be a relationship, sometimes you spend your whole life trying to find your soulmate. 

Title from Mariah Carey's Underneath the Stars.

Gifted to @177-8 for the Pitch Perfect Fandom Drive!

Thank you for contributing!

I hope you enjoy it and I apologize for taking so long!!

For more info on how to help, visit the

@ppfandomdrive

page.

Read on Ao3 

Beca Mitchell got hers the week of her 16th birthday. She didn’t believe in soulmates and initials. Her dad and her mom had their initials, but they had gotten divorced, her mom died of cancer, and while she was fighting it, her dad had found his ‘soulmate’. She couldn’t forgive her father for ding that to her mother.  But she had gotten her initials whether she liked them or not, two letters, CB in cursive.

By that time, she had figured that she was gay, and she had dated a few people.

Her first girlfriend, was Juliana Taylor, but they had broken up, just because they weren’t feeling ‘it’ anymore. Juliana had BM on her wrist, but it probably wasn't her anyways.

She’d decided she’d give boys a try when Conner Basin asked her out. It was less of a date and more of a hangout with a bro, but she had figured he wasn’t the one either, after he had criticized Beca’s favorite video game. He had said the graphics were bad, and that the settings weren’t enough. Beca had called for her friend Stacie to come pick her up at the mall right away, which she did, with her flavor of the week, Jesse Owens.

Boys were a no-go.

Two years later, she was off to college, Barden University, full ride by her father, who is a faculty at Barden. Stacie went along with her, but with a full ride scholarship with her amazing high school grades. Barden had a weird rule about roommates, where everyone had their roommates select randomly by the housing office. That meant that she couldn’t room with Stacie, and she was bunked with Kimmy-Jin, the international student from Korea. Stacie had been roomed with a girl named Alisha, who stacie couldn’t stand. Stacie was literally trying to find a sorority just for their housing.  

Chloe Beale had gotten her initials on her 16th birthday. She didn’t have one before her party, but somehow had one when she took a shower that night. It was a BM in bold letters. She had tried hard to find her soulmate, but couldn’t find anyone that was the ‘one’. She had dated a Bobby Markham, but his birth name was Robert, which made his initials RM, thus making it impossible for him to be her soulmate. But where was the rush anyways? She was still 17. She had college plus a few more years to figure out this whole soulmate thing.

She was off to Barden which had an amazing pre-vetrenary program. She met her best friend, Aubrey Posen during her first year biology class, and they had joined the Barden Bellas together soon after. She started dating Bay Matthews, a boy going to Georgia State at a party during the summer, but had broken up due to him being very possessive.

She had worked hard in the Bellas until her junior year, the senior Bellas that year were a bitch. The captain, Alice was the worst of them all. She bossed everyone around, and made Aubrey and Chloe do all the hard work. She was sick and tired of being bossed around like disposable objects. She had been so happy when the seniors graduated and they were finally the leaders of the group. She and Aubrey had decided to become co-captains instead of closing one leader for their group. After Aubrey and the puke incident, they were out of members and desperate to get freshmen on their team.  During the activities fair on the quad, they had to ask so many girls to join,  they couldn’t keep track. Although their determination, not a lot of people seemed to be interested. Chloe had almost given up when a beautiful brunette had walked past, not interested at first, but had taken their flier.  She had said that acapella was lame, and that she didn’t even sing. That made Aubrey nearly puke, but Chloe had hope.

One day, she’s taking a shower, actually, hooking up in the shower with her flavor of the month or two, Tom, when she hears Davis Guetta’s Titanium sung by a beautiful voice. She stops mid  kiss and walks out of her stall to try to find the owner of her beautiful voice.

“You can sing!” She’s surprised to see the brunette she had just seen at the activities fair in the afternoon.

“Dude!” She closes the curtains, but Chloe opens them back and asks her about how high her belt goes, and about how she should Jon the Bellas.

They sing together, and Chloe leaves the brunette’s shower stall with her boy toy.  What she realizes is that she gad forgotten to ask her her name. All she had managed to see was the brunettes initials on her wrist, which had her initials, CB.

The day of the audition comes, and the brunette decides to arrive at the audition, and sings a song with cups at the end. She can tell that Aubrey is pissed at the fact that she was the best in all of the auditions, and Chloe convinces Aubrey to let her join the Bellas.

After the audition, she finds out that the brunette’s name is Beca Mitchell from the papers Chloe had asked her to fill out.

Beca Mitchell. Chloe’s already so interested in her.

They start with 10 girls on invitation night. The next day, two girls are dismissed, breaking their Bellas promise of not sleeping with a Treblemaker.

Beca didn’t think that shed be joining a female acapella group, and actually taking part in it. Her dad had told her that if she tried her first year, and she still wanted to become a DJ in LA despite trying hard to participate in college life, that he’d let her. That was the biggest reason that she had joined the Bellas, and second being that Chloe, the girl who had caught her at the activities fair, and barged into her shower, was kind of hot. Maybe some hot girl motivation couldn’t hurt. Right?

After the incident at the Semi-finals of the ICCAs, she was definitely getting banned from the group. They had fallen in third place after Beca had sung bulletproof during their set. Aubrey had gotten angry, and she had gotten accused of sleeping with Jesse by her. She was for sure banned from the group.

Thats what she thought, when she got a message from Chloe during the break. The Bellas were back in the Finals, and that she wanted Beca to join the practice on Monday. She thought she was going to be banned, so the message took her by surprise, but talking it through with her dad, she had decided she would go back to practice.

She walks into the auditorium 15 minutes late, when Aubrey is puking her head off, and all the girls are trying to get ahold of the pitch pipe.

She stops the whole argument, and the group shares an amazing moment and the next second, Aubreys tossing her pitch pipe over to Beca. She mis-catches it, and it lands in the pile of puke. Gross.

They head to the pool and have an impromptu mashup session where they find their harmony. They all hug, and Beca somehow catches a glance at Chloes wrist, which says BM. She tries to shake it off of her mind, but she fails.

Chloe had a BM on her wrist, and Beca has a CB. Could this mean that they could be soulmates? But Chloe hasn’t ever said that she was gay, and didn’t she have a boyfriend in the shower that day?

Beca tries to forget.

She really tries.

Beca didn’t believe in soulmates. At least that’s what she had thought. Right?

When she gets back to her dorm after practice one day, she tries to work on her mixes.  She can’t seem to concentrate on anything. Chloe had looked at her more than usual, and Beca was getting nervous. Did she have something to say to her?  Had she done something wrong?

Thats when she gets a knock on the door. Its usually Kimmy-Jin’s friends, so she lets the girl answer it, but to her surprise, what she hears next is a voice that belongs to Chloe.

“Hey Beca. Can I talk to you for a second?” She asks, and Beca looks at her from her desk.

“Yeah. Sure. What’s up?”

Chloe frowns, “Outside maybe?” Beca nods, getting up and walking out the room.

“What’s  up?” Beca asks the ginger as she walks down the hall, and out the door, and she knows she’s heading to the Bellas house. The Bellas had a house, the house Tri Delta had used before moving to a new buildings. It was basically a sorority house, and they were allowed to move in from sophomore year.

“What’s up with you? You’re acting strange lately. “ Chloe says to her.

Beca shrugs. “Its nothing.  N-nothing in general. “ She answers nervously.

“You saw my initials didn’t you?”

Shit. Had Chloe seen her that night?

“You did, huh?” Chloe says turning her wrist to show Beca. “Look, I saw yours in the shower that day. CB. Right?”

Beca nods, a bit more comfortable.

“And you’ve been thinking about this, correct?” She asks her. Beca nods again. “That we have each other’s initials.”

“I don’t even believe in soulmates…..”Beca mutters, looking into Chloe’s eyes.

“They don’t have to be relationships, you know.”

“Yeah, have you seen anyone with a soulmate friendship? They always end up dating, or getting married, or whatever. “Beca scoffs.

Chloe doesn’t say anything. She can’t find anything to say. She tries, but no words come out.

“See. And I don’t believe in this whole soulmates bullshit anyways. Can I go now?” She doesn’t wait for Chloes answer, and just leaves the building, leaving Chloe behind her. She doesn’t know why her aches so much, but she pushes her feelings down, and goes back to her room, crawls into bed, and lets her tears shed. Why was she crying right now?

Chloe stands there in silence, not being able to say anything. She doesn’t know how long she’s just standing in the doorway, until Aubrey comes back from her meeting with her professor.

“God, Chloe. You almost gave me a heart attack. Chloe? Chloe!” She holds on to her shoulder and shakes her.

“Huh? Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just a bit tired.” She shakes it off, trying to escape from Aubrey’s tightening grip on her shoulders.

“Oh bullcrap. I know you so well Chloe.” She scoffs. “What’s wrong Chloe? Is it Tom? Because if he’s hurting you, I swear to god Chloe, I’m gonna kill him….”

“No no. It’s not Tom.”

“What is it then? Its Beca isn’t it? Oh my god Chloe. It is! What happened with ear monstrosities?”

“Nothing. Can you leave me alone?” She runs up to her room and slams the door shut, and bursting into tears. Why did she have to be like that to Aubrey? She knows she shouldn’t have, and she’s regretting it so much. And she shouldn’t have confronted Beca. Now she had ruined her relationship with Beca and Aubrey.

Somehow, she’s managed to fall asleep, and she’s woken up with a gentle knock on the door. “Chloe. I’m sorry about earlier. Can I come in?” She hears Aubrey’s voice. She gets out of bed, and opens the door.

“Chloe I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have stepped in. I just don’t want you to get hurt, you know.” She say, giving her a hug.

“I know Bree.” She sighs, burying her face in Aubrey’s shoulder.

“Do you like her Chloe?”Aubrey asks, and she doesn’t even need to answer. “I know Chloe. It’s okay.” She rubs her back as Chloe sobs into her shoulder.

Beca ’s about to miss two days of classes when her father comes in to her room. “Beca. Wake up. Beca?”

She flutters her eyes open. “Huh?”

“Beca. What’s wrong? I know you’re upset at me but you’re upset for a whole another reason. What’s up?”He asks.

“NOthinggggg. Just some soulmate bullshit.”

“Beca, are we talking about me and your mother, because…” He tries to start but Beca intervenes.

“No. It’s not about you and mom or you and Sheila. It’s about my soulmate. That is, if there is even one anymore.” She scoffs.

“Who do you think it is?”

“Chloe.”

“Chloe in the Bellas. Chloe Beale?” He opens his eyes wide. “Oh Beca. That’s great!”

“No it isn’t. I just messed up our whole friendship. I just yelled at her and ran off.” She says looking down.

“Oh Beca, go talk to her. You might even find out that she’s not even your soulmate.” He says patting her on her shoulder. “Now go talk to her or go to your philosophy class.” He says to her and leaves the room.

Now Beca had no choice. She had to go see Chloe. Right? She gets up, takes a shower and gets ready to head to the auditorium to find Chloe.

Chloe decided that she would keep skipping practice until she was okay, and that probably meant for eternity. That’s why she’s surprised, when she hears a knock at the door. It couldn’t be anyone other than Aubrey, right? But Aubreys at practice right now, and she always texts before she comes back, asking if she needed anything from the mini-mart. That meant someone else was at the door. Right? What if its a…..

“Chloe?” The door opens and Chloe jumps, but there she is, Beca Mitchell, standing in front of the doorway of Chloe’s room.

“Oh my god Beca! You’re gonna give me a heart attack!” She says now trying to calm herself down. Her heart was pounding and it didn’t seem to stop. Was it her being scared, or was it because Beca’s here?

“I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. I went to the auditorium, and you weren’t there. Aubrey gave me her keys and told me you were here.” She says as she slowly steps into the room. “I should’ve called. Or whatever….” She mutters, waiting for permission to come into the room. “I needed to talk to you.” Chloe shifts in her bed, making room for Beca to sit, and she takes it as an go sign to walk into the room.

“What’s up?” Chloe says in her most normal-im-okay-but-kinda-not tone.

“Soulmates.” She just says, looking at Chloe.

“Soulmates.” She repeats. “What about them?” She grips her fist tight, nails turning her palms white as she clutches. She’s nervous. She didn’t realize it until now, but she’s nervous. She’s nervous about what Beca is going to say. How it might change their relationship forever. How it might just come crashing down.

“What do you think about them? Do you believe in it?” Beca pauses. “Do you think we are?”

She’s been waiting for her to say this to hear her say it. She looks into her eyes. Beca’s beautiful blue eyes are twinkling. her tears are just barely there, right before spilling out of her eyes.

“Beca. I can’t. I can’t anymore…. I can’t pretend like we don’t have chemistry. Like we aren’t meant to be. I can’t do this anymore. Please tell me if I’m crazy, and I’m the only one feeling this between us. Because I’ll stop. I’ll stop if this is just me. So tell me. Am I the only one feeling our chemistry? The way sparks fly when we look at each other, how we slipped into it own world, that days in the shower? Tell me. please….” Chloe lets her tears spill out of her eyes, down her cheeks, and onto the comforter.

“Chloe….” Beca says, looking into her eyes, with her own tears down her cheeks. “I’m messed up. I’m damaged goods. You don’t want me….”

“I do though Beca. I really do. I can’t fight this anymore.”

That moment, no-one really knows what happens, or who kissed who first. It doesn’t matter anymore. Their lips touch, and their hands are around one another, and it’s perfect. No-one could break this moment.

“I love you Beca. I can’t help but love you.” Chloe smiles as she says so, lips still touching.

“I think I love you too Beale.” Beca chuckles.

“You THINK!? Beca THINK!? You don’t love me?” Chloe pouts, jokingly pushing her away.

“Yeah, yeah, fine. I love you Beale. There! Happy?” She says pecking her lip once again.

They’re kissing each other back and fourth, enjoying their moment together when they hear a knock on the door, and then the door opens.

“Finally. What took you so long?” Aubrey chuckles as she looks at them from the doorway.

“Nothing. Beca just had to realize that I was here.”Chloe chuckles as she pokes the younger brunette.

“Heyyyyyy!” Beca pouts, burying her face in Chloe’s hair.

“You two are disgustingly adorable. Don’t hurt her Beca. Or else, I’ll hunt you down and murder you. I’m not kidding.” Aubrey ays as she walks out.

“I love you too!” Chloe giggles kissing Beca’s head. “So are you going to come back to practice now?” She asks as she wraps her arms around Beca and pulls her down to her bed, making them lay down.

“Yeah, I guess so. I mean, you’re gonna drag me to them now right?” Beca asks, lifting her head up, and looking at the ginger’s eyes.

“Yup. That’s totally going to happen. But don’t worry. It’ll be worth it.” She gives a quick peck on the lips. “So, does this mean you’re gonna be mine girlfriend?”

“Um…… I guess?”

“Um… YOU GUESS!? Seriously? Get out of my room!” She jokingly pushes the brunette off of her.

“Sorry! Sorry! I would love to be your girlfriend. “ She says to her, trying to not get pushed off of the bed.

“Awwwww. Yay!” She wraps her arms back around her.

“Love you too. “ Beca says laying back on top of her.  She didn’t believe in soulmates before, but now she did, and it’s a good change for her. She knows she’s going to be so much happier, and maybe Barden wasn’t that bad after all.

She then realizes that Chloe’s a senior.

But right now, it doesn’t matter, she presses a gentle kiss on the ginger’s lips and closes her eyes, falling asleep.

[softest-cinnamon-roll]

for the smit prompt Reddie 39,52,62 pretty please!!

39. “You taste like fucking candy.”52. “I’m not jealous! its just…you’re mine!”62. “I think thats the first time i’ve heard you moan…it was like a fucking melody.”

(warning for notsfw)

* * * * * 

Richie wanted to kick himself for how fucking whipped he was. When he came to New York for college, he swore that he wouldn’t spend too much time out partying, and more time studying to gain his degree that he so desperately wanted. That and his parents were funding half of it and he really didn’t want to let them down.

Then Eddie Kaspbrak had to saunter into his life with his cherry red lips, bright grey eyes, blonde curls and fucking short shorts. It was like a wet dream come true and every time he saw him, whether it be out of the corner of his eye or head on, Richie had to excuse himself into the little men’s room.

It was his roommate, Stan, that filled Richie in on who Eddie was and why he dressed the way he did. His whole life he had been controlled by his mother, right down to who he hung out with and how he dressed. So when he left for college, leaving her in the dust, Eddie had decided to really go all out.

They shared a few classes together, and in one they were even partners, which gave Richie all the chances to flirt with Eddie as much as he could in the time they had. He was a good flirt… usually. Around Eddie though, it seemed like all his knowledge went down the drain and he was a flustered teenager again. He had to give himself some credit though, as Richie never failed to make Eddie laugh.

Two months into the first semester, Eddie had given Richie his number during class with a wink, and they had been texting non stop from that day onwards. Sometimes the texts got dirty, really fucking dirty, but Richie knew that it was probably just a way for Eddie to let off steam, as he had never specifically expressed any interest in him in person, which really fucking sucked.

It didn’t stop Richie from attending all of the weekend parties that he knew Eddie would be at though, hoping to just catch a moment with him, a brief conversation. He was so fucking whipped. It was one of those parties that he was attending at that moment, sulking in the corner with a vodka in his hand, watching some random frat boy flirt with Eddie so openly, right in front of him.

“Just go talk to him,” Stan voiced as he approached Richie, leaning against the wall to his left. “You guys have been dancing around each other for months. It’s getting a little pathetic.”

Richie squawked and turned to his roommate, shaking his head in the process, “If he wanted to talk to me, he wouldn’t be flirting with Mr Frat over there,” he pushed a thumb in their direction.

Stan sighed, “Are you sure you can see through those glasses of yours? If you pull your head out of your ass, you’d see that Eddie is looking over here to make sure you’re still there every so often. He wants you to go over to him. So pick up your guts and do it because I can’t take this sexual tension anymore.”

At that, Richie looked up and true enough, he met Eddie’s eyes from across the room. The second their eyes locked, Eddie turned his head though and started kissing Mr Frat’s neck. A wave of jealousy flooded Richie’s stomach and he pushed himself off of the wall, walking over to where they were and grabbed the guy who was towering over Eddie, shoving him away.

“Hey what the fuck man!” Mr Frat protested, but Richie just raised an eyebrow. Next to him, Eddie let out a giggle and waved him away, making the guy huff and turn on his heal, disappearing into the crowd of party goers.

Now they were alone, and Eddie was looking up at Richie through those sparkling grey eyes of his, his lips tinged red from the cherry lollipop he’d seen him sucking on earlier. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were jealous, Richie…”

A flush made its way up the back of Richie’s neck and he let out a nervous chuckle. “I’m not- I’m not jealous!” He gasped out, his mind swirled with alcohol and nerves. “It’s just- you’re mine!” The words were passed his lips before he could stop them and when he realised what he had said, he froze. “Shit…”

“I’m yours huh?” Eddie breathed, stepping right up into Richie’s personal space. “I don’t believe you, considering I’ve been flirting with you for months and you’ve yet to make a move.” A hand slipped up over his shirt covered chest to wrap around his neck. From this close, Richie could smell the sweetness of the candy on Eddie’s breath. “You want to make me yours, Richie?”

God did Richie want to make Eddie his. He nodded his head and Eddie smiled, not smirked, smiled. He pushed up on his toes and their lips were meeting in the middle, soft at first before turning dirty. The intensity of the kiss, and the surprise of it happening in the first place, made Richie pull back with a heavy breath. “You taste like fucking candy…”

Eddie giggled and sealed their lips back together, leaning back against the wall so Richie could shelter them from onlookers. Richie groaned against Eddie’s lips and moved his hands down his sides, to his waist and then around to his ass, squeezing it hard. Eddie squeaked, followed by a moan, biting down on Richie’s lower lip, pulling away a little, “Fuck, Rich…”

“I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you moan…” Richie mumbled, moving his lips down to Eddie’s neck and sucking a light bruise there. Maybe it was a way to show people that Eddie was his and no-one elses. “It was like a fucking melody baby, one I want to hear over and over again.”

Their lips met once again, this time much deeper and filthier than the other ones they had shared that night. Eddie’s fingers were tight in Richie’s curls, pulling and twisting every so often, making Richie let out moans of his own. “There’s a spare room up the stairs,” Eddie breathed. “But I also have an empty dorm room…what do you say?” He pulled back and looked up into Richie’s eyes.

“I don’t want anyone walking in on us when I’m making you scream my name in that pretty voice of yours,” Richie hummed, kissing the mark he made on Eddie’s neck once more before pulling back and lacing their fingers together, heading for the exit.

The last thing Richie saw before he left the house was Stan’s relieved smirk staring back at him.

* * * * *

@richietoaster @tozier-boy @eds-trashmouth @bitchbrak @sloppybitchreddie @its-stranger-than-you-think @maximusfraker @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @thejadeazalea @halfway-happy353 @tinyarmedtrex @inthebreadbinwrites @kat-ships-everything @takeourpure @lo-v-ers @that-weird-girls-blog @studpuffin @s-s-georgie @reddie-for-anything @trashmouthtozierr @richietoizer @girasol-eddie @bi-bi-richie @honeybeehanlon @mars-14 @reddiesetandgo @marsisaplanetyall @xandertheundead @sedanleystanley @hawkinsbabe @beepbeeprichiellc @stellarbisexual @oldguybones @stanleuyris @eduardoandale  @purplepoisonedgem @reddie-to-cryy @pink-psychic @violetreddie @toziesque @queen-sock @appojoos @moonlightrichie @rreddies @disneyfan567 @annxmatron @lifesucksheres20bucks @anellope @roobarrtrashmouth @are-you-reddie-for-it @callmechee @nancynwheeler @reddieforlove @twoidiotsinl0ve @madi-artist @tozierking @s-onora @atownofeggs  @wilding-throught-thehallways @no-she-wasnt-reddie @dadbodrichie @thorn-harvester-ven @eddiekasbpark @sparklingrainbowdragon @ransonelovebot

[l-egionaire]

Okay, this is the last political post I'm going to for a long time and It will no doubt come off as controversial.

The whole "getting along with someone despite having extremely different political ideals or voting for someone you hate" thing can absolutely work.

For a bit of context, I'm a black man and during my last year of college in 2020, I ended up sharing a room with a Trump supporter.

Just to be clear, this guy wasn't a MAGA or Qanon nutjob. He was a pretty chill normal guy. The only reason i even knew he was a Trump supporter was that I mentioned him once and he said he felt Hilary would've been worse.

Did I dislike this guys opinion? Hell yes. Did I dislike that he liked Trump? Absolutely.

But overall, he was a good guy. A good roommate. He was chill, shared his microwave and drinks with me, and was overall a pretty nice guy. And we never fought about politics because we just never brought it up. And even though we had to leave early due to COVID and I didn't finish the year with him, I still felt that he was a good roommate and a pretty cool guy.

Now, why am I saying this? I guess because I know political differences and who voted for who has become such a big division in the U.S. and I wanted to at least offer up the idea that people can get along with people who voted for the guy they were against.

And for those who say I am, no, I am not saying that you should try to get along with White Supremacists, MAGA assholes who worship Trump, Or psycho Qanon conspiracy theorists. I'm saying that if someone you love like a family member or friend or significant other voted for that asshole, I'd at least argue you shouldldn't mmediately terminate your relationship with that person. Can you be disappointed in their choice? Think they're making the wrong decision? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean you have to immediately throw that relationship away. If they're someone who has treated you with respect and you know are honest, good people, then you can ignore their bad political decision.

And you might say "How can I not talk politics with them?" Easy. Just don't. I don't honestly get why thats so hard. I almost never talk politics with my family or friends unless something politically big happened like the election or the attack on the Capitol. Otherwise? We just talk about literally anything else. My job, T.V. shows, personal stuff. Find things you can talk about and agree on with them on instead of always talking about something you can't.

And No, if your a gay or trans or nonbinary or POC person who feels upset with your family members choice, that's okay. You can feel upset by that. If your family member or friend is some hard-core MAGA nut screaming that Trump is the second coming, then no, you don't have to put up with them. If you're family member or friend is some Qanon conspiracy theorist person who keeps talking crazy, you don't have to put up with that. What I'm saying is, if someone close to you is someone who voted for that jackass but they're otherwise good people that you manage to get along with in other ways besides politics, don't let one bad choice turn you away from them. If you're one of those people who truly feel that a vote for Trump is something you can't forgive or accept? Then thats fine too. That's your choice to make and its absolutely okay. But if you're able to, you shouldn't let one otherwise poor political move in your loved ones life push you away from them. Not only does it hurt relationships but its just going to divide us as a country even more.

Now, why am I avocation for this despite not liking Trump and voting for Biden? Because frankly, after everything else that our country has been through in the last few years, and all the craziness that has come over the past few months, I'm hoping this message manages to get at least some people to come together. Because I don't want people to fight if they don't have to. And while I know that the insane, "willing to kill or die for the guy" Trump supporters won't go away, it'd be good to know people can still come together and aren't willing to let themselves be divided by some stupid celebrity president.

[kevindayprotectionsquad]

Some birthday Kevaaron because Aaron deserves a nice day too

Aaron never liked celebrating his birthday. When he was younger, it was mostly forgotten. When Nicky took him and Andrew in it became a reminder that he was forever connected to Andrew, and he still wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

Kevin never got the chance to celebrate his birthday. The ravens weren’t big on celebration, and Riko wasn’t big on letting Kevin have all the attention.

So Kevin, trying to live and appreciate his new life, gets a little excited when the date gets closer.

They have never had a celebration for the twins, but Kevin loves his little bastard of a boyfriend and wants to do something nice for him.

He starts asking Aaron well in advance what he wants to do, knowing Aaron will try to shut him down. And he does.

Aaron tells him he doesn’t want a celebration. That they are in the middle of the semester and in the middle of the season, it would be a giant waste of time to do something.

Kevin keeps asking though.

He will not drop it, and at this point it is driving Aaron insane

Kevin: What do you want for your birthday?

Aaron: A break from your annoying ass.

Kevin eventually gives up. Or so Aaron thinks.

Kevin has never given up on anything before. He just approaches this the same way he would anything. If one way isn’t working its time to try another.

He decides to ask for help from the most successful relationship he knows.

Matt and Dan

He hates asking them for help, but Matt has gotten to know Aaron more after the whole roommate switch and Dan would do anything to help her teammates.

And to his surprise, they are excited to help him. They give him all kinds of advice. Matt tells Kevin that he should surprise Aaron with something simple, and Dan mentions how no college student can turn down food.

It seems so simple to Kevin that he hates he couldn’t come up with it on his own.

The day finally comes, and besides a simple happy birthday smooch, Kevin lets Aaron go about the day as usual. They go to their separate classes and go to practice like it was any other day. No one mentions the twins’ birthday at practice. Aaron thinks he is safe.

Until they’re back at the dorm.

Aaron just wants to study. He has one more test before finals start, and he really needs to do well on this one to keep an A in the class.

Kevin, history major and loving boyfriend, does not care.

Kevin: Come with me.

Aaron: No, I have a test to study for.

Kevin: Just read the notes before you take it and come with me.

Aaron, trying not to have an aneurysm: Thats not how this works.

Aaron eventually gives in.

Stupid Kevin and his stupid puppy dog eyes who the fuck does he think he is

Kevin couldn’t convince anyone to let him use their car so he drug Aaron to their favorite late night diner near campus. They usually went when they needed a break from the dorms to study, but tonight Kevin refused to let Aaron bring his textbook and notes.

Aaron decided there was no point in fighting it now, and is in no position to pass up free food so he orders an ungodly amount of chocolate chip pancakes.

A birthday isn’t the only thing him and Andrew share. Aaron couldn’t help wonder what Andrew was getting for his own birthday dinner. 

Normally, Kevin would give him a hard time about putting that many calories into his body, but tonight he watched in silent awe at how fast Aaron ate while he ranted about his classes and how stupid people are.

Aaron with a mouthful of pancakes: This stupid fuck in my O Chem lab cant even turn on the bunsen burners or balance equations, and thinks he is going to be a doctor. I think the fuck not.

Kevin, who took geology for his science credit and has no idea what Aaron is talking about, but still trying to be supportive: What an idiot. 

Aaron: I know!

They both finish their late night breakfast and Kevin finally lets Aaron return to the dorm to finish studying. Kevin knew Aaron well enough to not expect anything less than a complaint for wasting time, but it never came. Instead Aaron gives a quick look around before taking Kevin’s hand for the walk back.

Aaron loved his birthday date, he didn’t want anything and somehow it was everything he asked for. Down time with his stupid Kevin and free pancakes were hard to hate. Even if it bumped his study time back.

When they got back to their rooms Aaron predictably went for his notes, but maybe, just maybe he took them to Kevin’s room. And maybe he just happened to end up wrapped in a blanket with Kevin while he highlighted his book.

Perhaps birthdays weren’t so bad after all. If only they could all be like this. 

[persephonemine]

RP Masterlist

Plots. Prompts. AUs. Tropes. What have you.

#YAS #UNF-- GOOD SHIT #👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 GOOD SHIT GO౦Ԁ SHIT👌 THATS ✔ SOME GOOD👌👌SHIT RIGHT👌👌THERE👌👌👌 RIGHT✔THERE ✔✔IF I DO ƼAҮ SO MY SELF 💯 I SAY SO �

Please know this: These will be updated from time to time! Many of these plots I’ve worked hard on and am eager to try out. Yes, a lot of them are romantic or darkly romantic -- sorry. Most of these can be altered to fit whatever we want. Some of them will be pretty hard to RP, I recognize. Whoops! Plenty of these can be really angsty, dark, and well -- hopefully we can have some fun with that.

                                                         Plots.

“Take it Back” // Pink Floyd Post-Apocalyptic AU Ten or so years after the Zombie Outbreak.

“The Scout.”

1.) Muse A is from a well secured township and is sent to scout as to why its sister location has gone radio silent. They run into Muse B on the way. Do they work together and travel to the sister location or is Muse B the reason the sister location is down?

1.2) If Muse B is the cause of the fall of the sister location, why? What were the reasons? What happened behind closed doors of that township?

“Supplies.”

2.) Muse A is on a supply run and runs into Muse B. Do they decide to band together for survival or do they fight for the supplies Muse A has found? 2.1.) Muse A is on a supply run and runs into Muse B. Muse B is wounded and Muse A manages to rescue and heal Muse B. Do they stick together afterwards or does Muse B skip town?

2.2) Muse B tells Muse A of their plans to go to a place that is claimed to be some sort of sanctuary by someone on the radio they’ve found. Muse A decides to accompany Muse B. Is it truly sanctuary or is there something rotten afoot?

“Provisions.”

3.) Muse B is caught by Muse A for hoarding rations and keeping more than their fair share. In a desperate attempt to keep Muse A from outing them and potentially being ejected from the group, Muse B confides in them that they’re pregnant and unsure of how they’re going to be able to survive with a child and so have kept extras for future use.

3.1) Muse A decides to kick it up a notch and has quickly placed themselves at Muse A’s side and vows to fulfill whatever roles Muse B needs, spouse, parent, provider, etc.

“Just a peek.” Life Could Be A Dream // The Crew-Cuts

1.) Muse B gets a furtive glance of the future. They see a fulfilling, wonderful life with Muse A -- kids, house, stability, true love, real happiness. Do they want it? Is this something they’ve dreamt of? Is it something they want with Muse A? Or is it something they never considered before? Something they never wanted at all? Do they pursue it or do they fight it? 

1.2) Muse B and Muse A do not get along or are enemies. What changes in Muse B’s behaviour after seeing the vision or do they maintain their stance?

1.3) Muse B got the vision wrong -- and it is not their future with Muse A but instead Muse C’s. Do they attempt to take it for themselves or let it go?

“Pack it up.” Send Me On My Way // Rusted Root

1.) The muses have to live with each other for some reason or another despite not liking each other. They’ve got to make it work. The apartment is cramped with only one bathroom. It’s up to them to make it into a cozy home. The muses must decorate and furnish their new apartment. To the shopping centers they go! 1.2) Muse A has been standoffish, cold towards Muse B for whatever reasons until they see Muse B do mundane, domestic, pedestrian things and finds themselves quickly falling for them. 1.3) Muse B has been nursing a crush on Muse A but due to Muse A’s standoffish nature towards them, they never let their feelings be known.

“If you go, I’ll stay. If you come back, I’ll be right here.” Where’s My Love // SYML Reincarnation!AU 

1.) The muses have spent every lifetime together, whether they know it or not. From their first incarnation, throughout every era, they have found each other, fought for each other, and loved each other. They’ve belonged together in any form. This time, it’s different… Muse A remembers all their past lives with Muse B. They know that they’re missing Muse B in this lifetime -- where are they?

1.2) Muse B is with someone else and it’s up to Muse A to win them back. Do they tell them of their past lives? How are they going to get the love of their lives back to where they belong: with them?

“Funnel cake madness.” Younger // Tony Anderson

1.) The muses go to the carnival! Rides, food, fireworks, and showing off at the games to win each other stuffed animals.

“Someone to stay.” Amnesia!AU Crimson and Clover // Tommy James and the Shondells

1.) Muse A suffers from amnesia and must rely on Muse B for just about everything.

1.2) Dark! Muse A actually doesn’t know Muse B and Muse B chooses to falsify memories and a whole life together with Muse A.

“absentia” The Night We Met // Lord Huron

1.) Muse A suddenly vanishes but no one is talking about it. Muse B is absolutely panicked over this as Muse A is special to them. But no one even recalls Muse A and think Muse B is losing it. Was Muse A even real or were they someone Muse B created to deal with trauma? Looking through photos and videos, there is no Muse A. When Muse B is about to accept that Muse A was never real… they find an old wallet photo of Muse A and Muse B together.

1.2) Muse B has a choice. Show others of this proof of Muse A or keep it hidden. Who is in on Muse A’s vanishing and erasure of their life? How will Muse B get them back? How far will they go to reclaim what’s theirs?

“Operation: Romance their pants off.” Fake Date!AU Tonight You Belong To Me // Patience and Prudence

1.) Muse A goes to Muse B to help them woo Muse C. Muse B is secretly in love with Muse A but they just want them to be happy, so they suck it up, and help Muse A.

1.2) Muse A decides the best way to get Muse C’s attention is through jealousy and convinces Muse B to fake date them.

1.3) Eventually it comes to light as to what Muse A is up to. Muse A made a move on Muse C and Muse C wants to know why Muse A is trying to cheat on Muse B. Muse A fesses up to what’s been happening and Muse C laughs it off and accidentally outs Muse B’s romantic feelings towards Muse A.

1.4) OR -- Muse A begins developing feelings for Muse B as they fake date and they have to figure out a way to stop fake-dating and start real-dating.

“Oh, god. It’s you.” Mr. Sandman // SYML

1.) Muse B does a summoning spell to locate their one true love. Muse A appears. These two do not get along. Confusion is had.

1.2) Muse A wants to know what the spell was. Muse B refuses to say.

1.3) Bonus. Muse B has done the spell wrong and now Muse A cannot go too far from them, forcing them to live together, work together, etc. Muse B starts to see why they’re their true love in the pedestrian, domestic, everyday things they witness Muse A doing.

“Second chances.” Mona

1.) After a one night stand, Mona doesn’t think she’s going to see Muse B ever again -- until she finds out she’s pregnant. Having fertility issues, she sees this as a second chance and seeks out Muse B to tell them she is keeping the offspring whether they want to be a part of it or not.

1.2) Muse B wants to be a part of the pregnancy and the child’s life, and so Mona moves in with them to give the relationship a shot, platonic or otherwise. 

“The Guy in the American Flag Onesie.” Josette

1.) Freshly new to this dimension, Jo attempts to settle into a typical terran life. But she’s no idea who all these heroes are. Watching the news at a diner, she cracks a joke about not knowing who Captain America is.

1.2) Overhearing this, someone sits down across from her, and tells her just who Captain America is -- from Steve Rogers himself.

                                                       AUs.

Grease Arranged Marriage Mermaid Fake Date Bodyguard Fake Engagement Love Potion Undercover Couple Wrongfully Convicted/Hiding from the Law College High School Soulmates [ fave ] Zombie Reincarnation Amnesia Time Traveling Roommates Forced Roommates Suddenly Parents Royalty (Victorian, Elizabethan, Medieval, Modern, etc) Spies Assassins Werewolf/Vampire ABO Yandere

                                                      Pairings.

Bad Guy/Good Girl Good Guy/Bad Girl Bad Guy/Bad Girl Neighbors Friends to lovers Friends with benefits to lovers Love at first sight Enemies to lovers Hero/Villain Hero/Civilian Hero/Antihero Villain/Civilian Teacher/Student Age Gap [legal!] Supernatural Creature/Human Supernatural Creature/Supernatural Creature Friends to enemies to lovers

                                       Prompts // Tropes.

Friends to enemies to lovers.

Magic Made Me Do It!

reverse fake dating: very in love couple has to pretend they’re not actually together.

Seasonal Things: Carving pumpkins, going on hayrides, going to haunted houses, trick ‘r treating, gift shopping, skiing, camping, hanging up Christmas lights, etc.

Mutual Pining. [ fave ]

The hero and villain falling in love.

Slowburn. [ f a v e ]

soft/hard: basically where one character is cold, ruthless, driven, and other is kind, forgiving, and gentle. Just complete opposites. How the cold one can be merciless to everyone else except the one person they love and how fiercely loyal and loving they are towards that person. On the flip side, the soft person soothes the cold one and has a way to make them feel truly happy, truly at peace for the first time in their lives. [ f a v e ]

Grungy, rogue, uncivilized Muse A and the proper, tidy, law-abiding Muse B falling in love with one another.

Opposites attract.

Blind dates.

Age differences.

Height differences.

You bonded with my kid and now we’re kind of a couple. [ fave ] // my kid adopted the quiet loner at the park and now I kinda have a boyfriend. [ fave ]

Mistaken identity. Shy muse and outgoing muse.

                                                       Songs.

I Found // Amber Run Into Dust // Mazzy Star Take it Back // Pink Floyd Coming Back to Life // Pink Floyd High Hopes // Pink Floyd Show Me Love // Laura Mvula Your Way Is The Way Home // Tired Pony Younger // Tony Anderson Tonight You Belong To Me // Patience and Prudence Mr. Sandman // SYML Where is my love? // SYML Body // SYML Life Could Be A Dream // The Crew-Cuts Be My Baby // The Ronettes yes to heaven // Lana Del Rey Crimson and Clover // Tommy James and the Shondells Crazy On You // Heart The Night We Met // Lord Huron Send Me On My Way // Rusted Root Where Is My Mind? // Pixies Someone to Stay // Vancouver Sleep Clinic Night Moves // Bob Seger Nights In White Satin // The Moody Blues Bad Blood // Neil Sedaka & Elton John Rocket Man // Elton John To Build a Home // The Cinematic Orchestra You // The Pretty Reckless I'm On Fire // Bruce Springsteen When the Night is Over // Lord Huron Hurts Like Hell // Fleurie

If anything here catches your interest, hit me up! I also have a discord I don’t mind sharing. :)

[emzaaaa]

I broke up with my 6 year relationship.

I need to talk about it.

I met my ex when I was 19 years old. I had just moved to Orlando, FL from a small midwest town. I hadn’t been in a serious relationship before and I honestly wasn’t looking for anything. We met working at Disney World under fireworks. We talked about music and instantly were hooked on eachother. I remember them asking me if I wanted to hang out and in my oblivious mind, I thought it was just that. A hang out. 

We went to this vegan kitchen and decided to walk in this cute little park across the street. All of a sudden I felt a hand grab mine. At that time is when I knew something was going to come out of this day. Damn. 6 years later and I’m a completely different person. 

The first year and a half was a dream. They constantly told me they loved me, we cuddled all the time, they made me FEEL loved and I constantly wanted to be near them. Nothing else mattered but them. 

Two years in is when they threw a bomb into our relationship. Something huge came to light that I wont share on this just because it’s not my story to tell. Before this, it was something that was apart of them but nothing came of it. Now they needed this. I was so excited for this bomb and I couldn’t wait to support and be there for them throughout the entire new chapter. 

Three years in is when we finally got our very own apartment together. The first two years we actually lived with their mother. You’d think that would be weird but I honestly loved it. She became my mom too. That’s honestly one of the hardest parts of this breakup. I have to separate her from my life and journey and that’s heart wrenching. This was a very exciting year for us. We experienced so many new things together with this apartment and learned and grew so much from it. Everything was so exciting. We were truly building a foundation. I remember one morning I woke up and they came into the room, taking a break from video games, and said “Let’s get married” Now, I know they werent being serious but I will always remember this morning. It gave me a glimpse of hope. This apartment was a tiny 500 square foot apartment but it was huge for our relationship. 

Four years in is when we decided to move out of Orlando.We both felt our journey was ending in that city and needed to start a new chapter. We set our eyes on Portland, Oregon. We had something to get excited about. We took a very spontaneous trip to Portland for a weekend and instantly fell in love with the area. We loved everything about it and just how liberal and chill everything was in that state... literally the definition of our relationship so far. A few months before we needed to tell our landlord that we werent resigning I felt our relationship start to crack. We started fighting more and more. We were getting annoyed with each other for silly things. We’d have fights but by the next day we were completely fine and comfortable again. I remember asking myself if I really wanted to sign another lease with this person. Ultimately, I felt my ex and I were endgame and were forever. So I pushed away all doubts and continued on with our plans. By this time moving to Portland wasn’t feasible but we still wanted to get out of Florida. Out of options, we decided to move to my hometown of Des Moines, Iowa. I hadn’t lived there for almost 5 years and my ex had never been there. So it was a new experience for both of us. 

Five years in we were moving to Iowa. From the outside perspective we were very excited. We were doing something new and unfamiliar to us. This was a turning point in our relationship. There was a reason I moved OUT of Iowa. I hated the Midwest. I was so miserable before... why would I move back. By the second month of living back in Iowa, all I saw was darkness. I didn’t want to be in that state anymore. I told my ex I wanted to move back to Florida but they didn’t want to regress like that. Their time in Orlando was over. Which I get.. it’s the same thing I was experiencing with Iowa. At this time my ex was also getting very depressed with their own shit going on. I felt like we were pulling apart from each other. Usually my ex loved to play video games but it felt like it consumed them. They use to tell me what they were doing online or something funny that happened.. all of a sudden that stopped. It almost felt like we were roommates. I’d go to bed alone and wake up alone. It felt so strange because on the other side of the wall there was my ex living in a completely different world. And I wasn’t invited.  Our fighting became more and more. 

Have you ever heard of jumping the shark? Where a tv show will do something crazy when they feel like the end is near... hoping to get more views and prolong the inevitable. Well... getting a dog was our jumping the shark. I had wanted a dog since two years into our relationship. It was never gonna happen in Florida.. just because the cost of living mixed with dog expenses would be insane. Living in Iowa, cost of living is nothing compared to Orlando. We finally had extra money in our pockets. Christmas came around and they got me my dream dog.. a corgi named Billie. She became my new love and she was all I wanted. I honestly don’t know why they got me a dog. Because thats all that happened. They never shared in anything else. I went to to all the vet visits, I bought her puppy training classes and taught her a few tricks, I bought her everything she has. To this day the only thing they have done is buy her and buy half the spay. They never tried to be involved at all. I wont lie though.. I’m so thankful for my ex because they brought Billie into my life. Billie saved my life. I had something to throw all my love and support to. 

Five and a half years in we moved again.. staying in Iowa. I wanted to move out of state but it just wasn’t in our cards. I went back to college, thinking maybe if I did something with my life I’d be happy again. That didn’t work. I hated everything and I brought that into my relationship, I’ll admit. This past November/December we were fighting every week to the point of us calling it quits each week. At this point we never cuddled, everytime I tried to kiss them they would put their cheek out for me to kiss, I didn’t even remember the last time they freely told me they loved me. They didn’t seem interested in anything I was doing or wanted to do and didn’t support me with anything either. We had no communication. 

At this point of the relationship I felt like nothing. I felt so unwanted. My self esteem was zero. I did everything for this person.. why didn’t they do something.. anything in return. 

One story. Valentines Day this past year. I was so excited for it. I thought I could finally put some romance back in this relationship and help fix it. I planned this day for weeks. I bought them a dozen red roses and left a cute note telling them how beautiful they were and how much I truly did love them. I had to go to work that day but I begged my leaders to be let out early. It was approved and I eagerly bought ingredients for a new recipe that I knew theyd love. I came home and nothing was said about the flowers. Totally fine. I was cool about it. They went to go get their car fixed which took hours. Thinking it was Valentines Day and we needed to be together.. I went with. After we got back I made dinner and we ate and drank a bottle of wine. We decided to watch a movie and they got angry with me because I interrupted the movie. I remember how my heart plummeted and I slowly got up.. grabbed the gift I was going to give them and hid that it in the closet. I went to bed early. They never once told me they loved me or did anything special. Never even thanked me for dinner or helped with the dishes. 

Exactly one month ago. I went MIA and ran to my parents house because I finally was realizing there was no relationship left. I should have ended things a long time ago but I never did. I didn’t want to be alone. I’m terrified of being alone. But one day at work everyone was talking about their partners and I just had a realization.. “I don’t feel the way everyone else does about their partners” That mixed with how my partner was treating me.. I ran to my parents for a night to get my head straight. I refused to text them.. I just needed to figure things out.

The next day I came home and we sat down and talked. I told them how I didn’t see us being together and that I felt like I was holding them back. They were about to completely alter their life and I knew how they had been confused on things within the relationship. It wasn’t fair to me. Their issues with themself wasn’t an excuse for them to be absent. I need someone to be completely sure about me. I’m a fucking catch. Together we realized the relationship was over. 

The next morning I didn’t believe it. We fought all the time and “broke up” quite a few times.. all ending the same.. us being completely fine the next day. The week after that we had serious talks for hours every night just hashing things out and just trying to understand what went wrong. My ex has huge communication problems. This week after the breakup is when they finally opened up their soul to me and told me everything that was confusing them.

I realized I don’t fit in with their life. I was the reason they stopped something that they needed in the beginning of the relationship and I will always hold onto that.. if they had kept with it.. what would have been of this relationship now? Cryptic, right? This whole thing is probably.. but I need this.

In the month of being broken up and being single.. I’ve learned so many things about myself. I realized it was the fear of being alone that kept me from truly ending things. I should have ended things a long time ago... honestly in Orlando. I saw so many red flags that I kept pushing away. I have so much love for my ex. I support them and I can’t wait to see what comes of their life in these next few years. 

This past month of being broken up has brought things out that I am not proud of either. I tried for almost six years to get my ex to open their soul and truly connect with me.. this girl comes into their life a few months ago and instant connection. To say Im jealous and to say that that ruined this whole breakup for me... yeah that would be true. I wanted to be loving and in their life still.. but now there is no room for that because this girl took my spot. Because of this I had done things I wasn’t proud of out of pure jealousy. After a week of denial and crying all day in bed I finally felt a new emotion: rage. I felt angry. Angry that my ex didn’t want to try and actually get down to the core and fix things.. they just wanted to throw it in the trash. I threw all gifts they got me away.. I said hurtful things.. I tried throwing away things I got them.. I was just so angry. I needed to feel something other than denial and sadness. The next day I felt so content and like maybe it would be okay. Don’t get me wrong I am completely humiliated on how I acted and what I did.. but it was so needed for me to be at this point in the breakup. If I didn’t have that night I would still be in bed crying begging them to fix things. I think I was in denial because it was my idea to break up the first night and then realized I was going to be alone the next day and regretted saying I didn’t think we should be together. But I’m so glad I did. I built up the courage to say out loud what I was thinking for months.. even years. Sure, things ending hurt my soul and I’m broken because of it... but things needed to end. I need to find someone who loves me the way I want to be loved and deserved to be loved. 

Whats happening now? I’m moving on to new things. I’m moving back to Orlando for myself. I’m excited to live in a city I loved and not have a relationship consume me. I’m excited to say YES to everything and not no because I want to go back home and be with my love. I’m relearning who I am. I completely lost myself to someone who didn’t feel the same. I have to fix my self esteem and outlook on life. I have to learn to love myself again. And I’m so excited to do so. I’m a fucking bad bitch and I’m so excited to see what I do next.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. 

[justdani14]

“Now no more talking ok?”

This is a prequel to lovehacks book one. Its something I've been mulling over in my mind for a while now. I'm a huge Dani and Mark shipper I love the best friends turned more story. This is a combination of clues that I've gathered from the books with my own twist.

Description: In the books you see a scene of Dani and Mark before they graduate he walks her to her dorm. They talk about how she's leaving, that he should come visit, they almost kiss but they get interrupted. All I keep thinking is what if he did go to New York and they did end up kissing and maybe more. It's in Marks pov

“No more talking ok” A couple weeks after graduation I find myself in my car finally entering the city of New York. It's been a long few days traveling cross country but I'm finally here. I follow the gps directions to her apartment. I've been driving for 10 hours today and I'm dying to get out of this car. The traffic is insane here, how do people drive like this? Duh Collins they use the subway mostly. Why am I even thinking about this? Is it nerves? It's just Dani she's my best friend why should I be nervous? We've known each other for years and spend countless days together and even some nights in each other's beds. Sleeping of course there's never been anything between us. I sound a little bitter about it even to myself. Ever since the night before graduation I’ve let more and more of those thoughts come. I use to be better at keeping them away. We almost kissed though and that was enough to break a dam in me. The dam that kept at bay the feeling I have for her. Feeling that I shouldn’t have for my best friend. Maybe I'm nervous because we're in New York away from everything we know and everything we're suppose to be.

Finally I reach her apartment and I send her a text that I'm here. I start collecting my bags and I scan the crowds for a familiar face. I catch sight of her and she takes my breath away. It's not like I forgot that she was beautiful but there's something about seeing her in person again. I can't even move, I'm sure I look like an idiot but I don't care. She finally gets to me and she wraps me in a huge hug. I hold her and breathe in the sent of her perfume. As we let go and I feel a small twinge of regret, get a hold of yourself Mark you have a whole week to hug her. "Come on Collins we don't have all day" she says as she grabs my hand and pulls me away. She leads me to her apartment building and I'm still in shock that I'm looking at my best friend right now. We make it to her apartment and she apologizes for it being so small but says her roommate Rylie won't be home all week. We order pizza and decide to stay in to catch up and I'm grateful it helps me feel more like myself around her. She tells me two days after I leave she'll start her new job and you should see how her face lights up when she talks about it. It makes me want to be excited about it but a part of me still aches that her dreams took her so far away. Why leave to New York? It was selfish but the question had lingered there for months. Her smiles makes me want to smile though and I do because I should be supportive.

The next few days we spend at museums and doing touristy things. We go to Central Park and visit Coney Island and it's the most fun I have had in a long time. After a couple days I confess to her that Amy and I are taking sometime apart. We’re not the same people we were when we first meet. Things have been hard with us and Amy wasn't to happy about me coming to New York to see Dani. She’s always made a big fuss about Dani and me being so close. She thinks it’s strange I'm using my savings to do this. Its worth it right? Yes Dani is worth it she always has and always will be. She frowns when I tell her about Amy. “Oh Mark I’m so sorry I know how much you wanted it work.” she says softly not looking into my eyes. She’s looking at her feet bitting her lip. Huh most be try not to say something but what? “What is it?” I ask her curious. Sometimes even I have a hard time figuring what’s going on in her head. She sighs “I just worry that you want it too much like your forcing it, that maybe it shouldn’t be so hard?” she looks at me expectantly. “I want you to be happy I need you to be happy best friend code one oh one.” she says with wide eyes. Well shit I need that too but I say “I think that too it shouldn’t be and I need you happy too why do you think I’m here?!” I make the goofiest face I can muster at her. She giggles “Ok Collins race you to the cotton candy stand!”. Thats just how it is for us, its easy sometimes we communicate without words. I don’t need to tell her in so many words that bummed about Amy but also a bit relieved. She already knows she just does because she always been there. She knows when to give me an out and am in. I don't know what I'm going to do without her.

Before I know it the night before I'm leaving comes and it's really bumming us out. We decide to have a couple drinks and that turns into a couple more. Before we know it we're stumbling back to her apartment. Its late but we fall into a fit of laughter on the her bed. The alcohol is weakening my resolve because all I can think about is kissing her. She’s just so beautiful when she laughs. I can't help myself I push a strand of hair out of her face. She stares at me with a look in her eye I saw right after graduation when we almost kissed. Would it ruin our friendship if we did? Would it make it better? All those doubts are gone though it’s just me and Dani. “Mark?" she says breathless. Is it from the laughter or something more? “Dani?" I say just as breathless. She moves closer to me and I don't dare move I don't want to break the spell. Before I know it she's holding my face in her hands as she bits her lip. She does that when she wants to say something but doesn't know how. I want to tell her that I need her to kiss me more then air right now. I want to say something to put her at ease tell her she can say anything to me. Before I can say anything she kisses me.

It's better then I ever could imagine it could be. It goes from tentative and gentle to passionate. Like all those years of pent up emotions bursting at the seams. The admiration, familiarity and love. I crush her close to me hoping its not a dream. I kiss her with everything I have hoping she can feel it all through the kisses. I run my fingers through her hair and she starts trying to take my shirt off. "Wait wait wait are you drunk?" I ask her breathless. Terrified that she is and she doesn’t really want this that I crossed a line. She stares at me like she’s staring into my soul. Her lips slightly swollen from kissing and her hair messy from me running my fingers through it. Her eyes are so wide oh no what have I done? “No do you want me to recite the alphabet back wards for you?” she laughs. “No that’s ok.” I say laughing. Relief washes over for so many reasons. I didn’t take advantage of her and it’s not just me that wants this? She smiles at me the smile that can bring a grown man to his knees. “Mark I need you I’m not drunk but I need you.” she says it in one breath. She looks so vulnerable I know how much it took to say that to someone. She doesn’t like to need anyone for anything. So I nod and say “I need you too maybe I always have.” then I clamp my mouth shut. I say no more not trusting my own voice afraid I’ll say too much and scare her away. “Now no more talking ok?" she says nodding. I nod too and and that our lips collide and we resume where we left off.

It’s like a switch goes off in my head. That insecure voice that tells me to be smart, to think things through shuts up. It’s just Dani its all Dani. The sent of her skin, the sound of her voice and the feel of her body. I methodically take off her clothes. Im finding it hard to concentrate when she bitting my lip. I moan her name as she kissing her way down. I eventually pull her up by her arm pleadingly I need all of her not just her mouth. I flip her on her back now it my turn. I need to kiss every inch of her and I do until she’s moaning and screaming my name. My name never sounded so good. I lay down next to her trying to catch our ragged breathes. She gently pushes me flat on my back and climbs on top of me. We share more delicious kisses as our hips move in perfect unison. The moans continue into the night until were breathing each others name through ragged breaths. We stay in this perfect bubble all night. We doze off and wake after a few hours to start all over again. After we’re done again we spend the rest of night in each others arms. It’s by far the best night of my life.

The next morning though reality starts to sink in. She’s not next to me when I wake up so I get up and look for her. I find her in the kitchen but before I can say anything to her she blurts out "I'm sorry." I'm sorry is not the words you want to hear after you sleep with a girl. I study her face she's staring at me and I'm thinking back on last night. Unless she was faking it then it was good for her so what was it why was she sorry? Then I see her bite her lip and instantly I know. With those two words her walls were up again. The walls that kept her safe from getting too close to any boyfriend in college. We all have our patterns and this was her's. In order to protect her self she puts walls up. I sigh instantly more tired then I’ve ever felt. Time to say what I know she needed to hear in order for her to live out her dream and salvage our friendship. “I'm sorry.” I say feeling defeated. Was I actually sorry though? No not in the least bit what had happened was amazing. It was more then sex it was an extension of the connection we already share. She interrupts my inner monologue. "Mark please stop I started it you didn't do anything wrong." she said looking so sad. "Dani let's just forget about it ok?" Urgh I feel sick just saying it how could I ever forget about it? "Your right it was just a one time thing." she says with sad little smile. It’s working were going to be ok if I could just force a smile and make her laugh. "Well it was more then one time but sure a one time thing." I force the best smile I can and wait to see if it works. "Omg Mark stop!" She starts laughing and even though I hate it I laugh too. Huh it worked I must be better at pushing my feelings down then I thought. Maybe I’ve been doing it for longer then I was willing to admit. If I could keep it together for a little bit longer we might be ok.

The rest of the morning goes by in a blur of packing and before I know it it's time for me to go. She walks me outside and says "I guess this is your stop." Was it my imagination or did she sound wistful. I study her closely she's looking at me with a that sad smile again. Was she sad because I was leave or something else? I didn't have the courage to ask. I was too afraid of the answer or of ruining our friendship. We seemed to find a way to keep it together but it was fragile, breakable and I wasn't going to break it I refuse. The hustle and bustle of people coming and going on the street is distracting this isn't how I wanted to say goodbye. Suddenly I feels her grab my hand and lead me to a quiet alley. We stare at each other for a moment and I realizes that we are still holding hands so I pulls her into a hug. I feel her starting to cry against my chest and with all the strength I have left I forces myself not to. I blink away the tears I have to. We stay like that for a long time, until she's all cried out. She finally looks up at me a little puffy eyed but still beautiful. How could she still look so beautiful? Its like a knife though my heart. "What is it do I look like a hot mess?" she asks me. “Of course not you always look beautiful.” I tell her. I fell so tired a part of me just wanted to get in my car so I could stop pretending. She's still staring at me and blushing a little from my comment. "You better go, you don't want to get behind schedule.” she says. No we wouldn't want that would we? All I could muster was "right I guess this is goodbye." I say wistfully. Who was wistful now, I pushed the thought out of my head and hug her. Trying to commit to memory everything about her. “Take care of yourself” I say in a whisper. I kiss the top of her head, look at her one last time and start walking away. She stops me by grabbing my hand. "Wait Mark I love you, your my best friend and I'm going to miss you so much it's killing me.” she says it all in one breath. Like she was afraid that if she didn't say it fast she'd never get it out. So I hug her again and say "I love you too and I hate this so much." “Ok go before I start crying again!" she says with a half hearted laugh. I laughed too the tension gone for a moment, her laugh had a way of doing that. "Text me along the way and when you get there." she pleads. "I will." I say and that’s it I walk away and don't look back because if I do I know I would never leave. I put the bags in the car and go before I do something stupid.

I let the empty feeling wash over me, I welcome it. I had made it I was where I was suppose to be and so was she. She'd start her new job in a couple days and I’d start mine in a week. For now at least I would let myself feel bad. Id let regret, anger and sadness wash over me like waves. I let the tears come as I stare out the windshield silently, the words I never said to her choke me. I text her along the way give her updates. I'm still trying to hang on to what we had before we slept together. Four long days later I'm finally in San Francisco. I just moved into my new apartment a couple days before the road trip. I didn't know Cole that well yet but he seemed like an ok guy. I didn't know he'd become one of the best friends I’ve ever had.

“I'm home :)” I text her.

What more is there to say she was probably sleeping. My phone starts ringing and my heart jumps but it's not Dani it's Amy. What could she want? She calls again and again by the time I reach my apartment. There front and center is Amy and she runs to me and hugs me. I stiffness a little. Her arms and her should be comforting but there not. I push the feeling down. I puts down my bags and hugs her trying not to think of Dani. "Marky I missed you! Can we get back together please?” she asks me.

That was three years ago and since then I've found my calling at Zabble, made some amazing friends and rededicated myself to my relationship with Amy. I don’t know if part of it was that she'd been right about me and Dani all along. She never thought we could be just friends and she was right we couldn’t. Or maybe I just desperately wanted things to go back to the way they were. My friends say I'm a pushover, they'd call Amy names but they don’t get it. Sure Amy and I had changed since college but she cares for me. A part of me was still in love with who she use to be and maybe can be again. Why am I here at 1 o clock in the morning mulling everything over? Remembering New York with Dani and San Francisco with Amy. It comes in flashes the feel of Dani’s legs wrapped around my waist. The way she’d bite her lip and her infectious smile. Amy’s arms around me like she’s hanging on for dear life. Amy’s laugh and how her eyes light up when she talks about work.

I thought those feelings for Dani had faded it took time but they did. Or maybe I just hoped they had. It took a while to forget and in that time I kept Amy at bay telling her I needed to think. It wasn’t a lie but eventually I gave in to her. I needed to feel something that wasn’t Dani and Amy gave me that. Time made the memories fade but now Dani is here in San Francisco. She texted me a few days ago saying she was coming home. Home like it was where she should have been all along. Maybe things would have been different between us if she had never left. What is wrong with me?

Tomorrow was going to be a very long day if I don’t try to sleep. I roll over and think of New York again. The Statue of Liberty, cotton candy, holding her hand on a crowded street. The memories are faded around the edges but there still in my mind. I though I was free of them I spend less and less nights thinking about them. Until now that is, they come flooding back torturing me with guilt and hope. I roll over again as if that would knock the memory out of my mind. She had been such a big part of my life for so many years I reason. How could she not be in my thoughts? It means nothing. We did try to hang on to us and we succeeded for a while. It just didn’t work out in the end. She had some doctor boyfriend in New York and I was back together with Amy. We only randomly texted or emailed now. This last year has been more and more infrequent. We had our own lives now. So why am I feeling like this from just the thought of her being back in San Francisco?

[trulymadlysydney]

The Boy Next Door

Of all the things she could’ve ordered, it had to be a sex toy.  And of all the people who could’ve been her neighbor, it just had to be coffee shop Harry. 

Helloooo my loves, this is part one of my college AU story!!!  I was going to hold off on posting it, but what can I say? I’m incredibly proud of it and wanted you guys to share my excitement.  This all started as a request from a lovely anon, and my brain took the request and spun it into this huge, long, college AU that I’m so excited and nervous for you guys to read.  Enjoy!!! xx

***PLEASE DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION**

It isn’t that Nova Leary is shy, necessarily.  It’s just that she’s the type of girl who enjoys keeping to herself and remaining anonymous. 

The fact of the matter is that anonymity feels like a rare thing to have nowadays, living in Los Angeles.  And anonymity is the one thing that Nova seems to cling to above all else.

Having grown up in a small town in North Carolina, she’d never faced the struggles of a Californian until she’d come here for school.  She hadn’t needed spare change to park her car.  She hadn’t needed to purchase a bus pass, because ultimately her car could’ve taken her anywhere with minimal traffic.

But now-- now she struggles to balance 19 credits a semester, because, as her mother would say,  “You’ll never get a good job just by coasting along, Nova Gene. Challenge yourself.” (Her mother, bless her heart, had a PhD in astrophysics-- because of course she did-- so Nova couldn’t help but feel the pressure to measure up her entire life.

So challenging herself was the only option, really.  And it isn’t that Nova minds all that much.  Entering her third semester of grad school, she feels accomplished.  As though she’s achieved more in her 23 years of living than most people her age.  Sure, maybe Los Angeles may not have been her first choice.  But hell, it certainly wasn’t her last.  

Currently she sits at her dining table, one leg tucked up under her and the other dangling so that her toes just loosely graze the wooden floor of her apartment.   She absentmindedly tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and types something into her laptop, chewing at the inside of her cheek when the results of her search appear fruitful.

“What are you looking at?”

Nova nearly jumps out of her chair when her roommate’s voice breaks through the silence.  She quickly switches tabs over to her e-mail.  Her inbox hasn’t received anything new since the last time she’d checked it, which had been four minutes ago when she thought Jessie was coming into the room.  For the sixth time. 

“Nothing,” Nova says, dismissively.  “E-mails.  Homework.”

Jessie is 29 and works for a law firm.  Which sounds much cooler than it actually is, Nova thinks.  All Jessie does is answer phones and file paperwork every now and then, and she gets to wear the heels she likes everyday so all in all, no one complains. (Except for the days when Jessie does, in fact, complain about every little thing that goes on in the firm and behind the scenes.  Nova thinks she knows a lot of these people’s stories better than she knows her own, which is saying something.)

Jessie looks at Nova incredulously, and scoffs.  “You cannot possibly have that much homework.”

“I do!” Nova says, pushing her glasses up on her nose and clicking the “compose e-mail” button.  For what reason, she doesn’t know, but it makes her look like she’s doing at least something. 

Jessie groans, clomping in her heels across the hardwood floor and over to the kitchen.  She opens the fridge and bends down, which reveals a little too much of the pink lace she’s wearing under her short dress.  When she straightens up, she’s got a beer in her hand.  “Come on, kid  You’ve gotta have some type of plans for tonight.”

“It’s Thursday.”

Jessie rolls her eyes, rummaging through the nearest drawer until she finds the bottle opener.  “Have you never heard of Thirsty Thursday?”  She takes a huge swig of her beer and hums in delight before holding it out in Nova’s direction.  “You want one?”

“No thanks.”  Nova smiles, because Jessie really is a sweet girl.  She means well.  It’s just that she and Nova are two incredibly different people.  Which works out, really, because 95% of the time, Jessie is gone and Nova gets the apartment to herself.  That isn’t to say Nova doesn’t worry about the older girl, but usually she’ll receive a call or, at the very least, a text from Jessie to let her know what her plan is for the night. 

Nova settles back in her seat.  “Where are you going tonight?”

“It’s Brad’s birthday,” Jessie says, and shoots Nova a look as if she’d rather die.  “We’re going out.” Brad is Jessie’s sort-of-boyfriend, but he’s a dick most of the time.  At least in the whole year and a half that Nova’s known Jessie, she’s hardly ever heard anything about Brad that she likes.  Even when she’d met him in passing, he’d been dismissive and a bit arrogant and altogether unpleasant.  Though, for whatever reason, Jessie’s been on and off with the guy for about four years now.  So Nova figures she has to give him the benefit of the doubt. 

“That should be fun!” Nova tries to sound hopeful, and Jessie smiles. 

“I’m hoping so, but we’ll see.  If he invites Steven I swear to God I’m leaving.”

Nova giggles and spends the next few minutes chatting with Jessie about Brad and his awful friends.  Sentences like “you’re too good for him,” and “But Nova, did you see what he surprised me with last weekend?” are all that can be heard, and it’s a lovely distraction for both of them until Jessie’s phone buzzes.

She hops up from where she’s now sitting on the counter and swallows the last bit of her drink.  “That’s my ride.  You sure you don’t wanna come out with us?  We can wait!”

“I’m good,” Nova says, shaking her head.  “You’re sweet though.”

Jessie giggles, walking over to Nova and wrapping her arm around the younger girl’s shoulders.  She leans down and presses a heartfelt kiss into Nova’s hair.  “I love you, kid.  You work too hard.”

“Who, me? Nahhh.”  Nova shakes her head.

Jessie grabs her coat and begins to head for the apartment door.  “Don’t wait up for me, okay?  I’ll be at Brad’s tonight.”

It goes without saying, but it still makes Nova smile that Jessie lets her know.  “Sounds good,” she calls. “Be safe!  Wear protection!”

She hears Jessie scoff as she leaves, and it makes her laugh.  Jessie is a lot of fun to be around, when she is around.  But Nova knows that if she were to ever go out with Jessie and her friends it would be awkward for everyone involved.  Nova’s never been the going out type, and all the friends that she would go out with lived back in North Carolina.

She sighs, placing her hands on the keyboard of the laptop and typing into the blank e-mail.

Note: Make new friends.

Backspace backspace backspace.

Note: Make friends in general.

It isn’t to say that Nova is lonely, however.  In fact, she appreciates her alone time quite a lot.

This reminds her of the task at hand, and her stomach flutters.  Cautiously, as if she’s being watched, she moves the curser back up to the tab she was in prior to Jessie’s departure, and double taps, taking her back to the screen that had made her cheeks redden. 

Row upon row of sex toys fills her screen, and it’s quite overwhelming, really, because how on earth is she supposed to know which one to pick?  She doesn’t want to make the wrong choice and get one thats too big.  And what if she doesn’t like the feeling of something inside of her?  The thought makes her insides flip and her ears grow hot. She groans, clicking the arrow to take her to the next page.

She knows she definitely wants one of these, it’s just a matter of which one she wants. It’s a difficult decision to make, especially because, despite being alone nearly every day she’s never really taken the time to experiment with these types of things. 

That isn’t to say she’s never gotten herself off, of course, but she definitely hasn’t tried any other techniques other than the one she knows.  And now there are several toys in front of her, all different shapes, sizes, textures, colors, (do colors matter?), some of them vibrate, some of them don’t... there are just far too many options for Nova’s liking.

What’s worse, she doesn’t even have anyone to ask about these types of things.  She’s sure that Jessie, more likely than not, has experimented with one, but she could never just outright ask her for tips.  Plus, reading the reviews on every single one of these feels almost invasive, if Nova’s being honest.  Like she’s creeping in on these people’s intimate alone time, as if to compare notes. It’s strange. 

Its 45 minutes and a few squeals and facepalms later that Nova finally thinks she’s found the one.  5/5 stars, not too big. Vibrations are optional, but should she chose to use them, it comes with several different speeds.  Plus the reviews, as strange as it makes her feel to read them, all agreed on one thing-- maximum pleasure with minimal effort.  (Not to mention the one review from a woman in Texas, who’d said that it was her first one and it had worked like magic.)

Nova types in her billing information and the address to which she wants it shipped, praying that it comes on a day when Jessie isn’t home, and when everything is filled out correctly, she inhales as deep as her lungs can take.  She examines her purchase one more time, shocked that this is actually something that she’s doing.  God, her mother would disown her if she knew.

She lets out her breath in one quick puff and closes one eye.  She tilts her head so that she’s not looking directly at the screen, and smashes her finger down on the mouse.  When her laptop takes her to the next screen, she can’t help but shriek when she reads, in bold, bright letters:

Thank you for your purchase! 

It’s a week later and Nova finds herself at the local coffee shop like every college student from the young adult novels she (not so) guiltily reads.  It’s stereotypical, yes, but it’s her favorite place.  They constantly have weird music playing through the speakers and it intrigues her every time she’s come in.  Sometimes they sell EPs of local bands on the counter where you purchase your drink, and Nova usually can’t help herself but to buy one.  She doesn’t always love the music she buys, but she loves the aesthetic of it all, so she continues to take pleasure in feeling like a fake hipster.

Today, the shop is crowded, which makes Nova curse under her breath.  She curses a second time after she’s ordered a her coffee, when she realizes there are no available seats in here.  She frowns, glancing around the room.  When did everyone realize this place existed?  Why are they taking over her little corner of campus?

She’s about to go ask the barista to put her drink in a to-go cup, because maybe she can go sit on the grass outside or something, when they call out her order at the counter.  Fuck.  

She takes it and mutters a thank you, and inside she panics while she scans the room.  She can’t just stand there awkwardly sipping her coffee.  Especially because she has her laptop in her other hand, and she’ll just look silly standing there with it.  But she’s not about to go up to a stranger, for goodness sake.  

She scowls without realizing it, and she hears a chuckle nearby.  She’s about to just chug her coffee and go when she hears a voice.

“You can sit here if you want.”

Nova turns around to find who the voice belongs to, and she relaxes a bit when she notices a somewhat familiar face.

She’s seen this guy around campus a few times, although she doesn’t know his name.   He’s cute.  In fact, Nova would go so far as to say he’s sexy-- although he’s nothing like any of the guys she’s dated previously.  She’s only seen him in passing, but he’s had a smile for her every time. 

He’s got a mess of curly brown hair that doesn’t seem to want to cooperate, with a long, stubborn curl resting on his forehead.  He has a pair of glasses atop his head, and Nova wonders why he isn’t wearing them-- especially because he seems to be squinting at his laptop.  One hand is wrapped loosely around a coffee mug, in which she spies just plain black coffee.  How boring and yet incredibly intriguing. 

Not to mention the deliciously thick british accent that seems fitting, somewhow, and makes Nova’s insides feel warm and fluttery. 

He shoots her a friendly smile and nods his head towards the empty chair across the table from him.  Right.

She sits quickly, setting down her own laptop and coffee mug and shimmying out of her coat.  “Thank you,” she says.  “I didn’t expect this place to be so crowded today.”

“Midterms,” he mutters dismissively, and Nova nods in agreement.

“M’Harry by the way.”

He watches her with amused eyes and it makes her feel small in the best possible way.  She settles her coat on the back of her chair and grins at him.  “I’m Nova.”

His eyes widen at her words.  “No shit! Nova Leary?”

“The one and only.”  She nods, and she doesn’t know how or why this guy knows her name.  “How’d you know?”

“It’s not a very common name, for starters.  But also, Mr. Shuff won’t shut up about you and how great your grades were.”

The statement alarms Nova until she realizes who he’s referring to.  She furrows her eyebrows.  “Rick?”

Harry snorts.  “So you’re on a first name basis with the science professors then.”

Nova rolls her eyes, taking a sip of her coffee.  “No.  Rick taught my favorite class last year.  I asked my counselor if I could take it again because I loved it so much.”

“He says you’re the only one who aced every single one of his exams,” Harry continues.  “Show off.”

Nova shrugs.  “I love science.”

“Apparently so,” Harry chuckles.  He takes a sip of his coffee and turns back to his laptop, and Nova thinks that the conversation is over, so she opens up her own laptop and starts logging in on the home screen.

“So, Nova huh?  That’s a cool name.  Very futuristic of you.”

Nova looks up then, absentmindedly tapping her nails against the keys on the laptop.  “Thanks.  Chose it myself.” 

Harry eyes her for a moment, unsure of how exactly to read her sarcasm, and she rolls her eyes.  “That was a joke.”

He smiles then, seemingly relieved, and laughs softly.  “Oh.  Cool.  So Nova’s your real name then?”

“Yup.”  She takes a sip of her coffee and considers her words carefully.  She knows it’s a unique name, one that Harry’s probably never heard before.  But she doesn’t know if he’s actually interested in hearing the origin story of her name, or if he’s just making polite conversation.

“Where’d it come from?”

“Hm?”

“Your name.  Like, what made your parents name you that?”

Nova feels her cheeks redden, because duh.  Of course that’s what he’d meant.  “You’re gonna make fun of it.”

Harry smirks that damn smirk once again and his fingers trace the rim of his mug.  “Try me.”

“The night that they think I was... conceived...” She says the last word softly, because damn, it feels weird to know the night you were conceived.  “My parents were at a music festival.  They looked up and swore that there was a supernova in the sky.”

Harry leans in, genuinely interested.  “That’s sick.”

It’s Nova’s turn to smirk.  “It was a music festival.  In the 90s.  They were on several drugs.”

“Oh.”  Harry snorts at how blunt-- for lack of a better term-- she is.  He takes another sip of his coffee and speaks into his mug.  “I mean... you never know.  There could’ve been a supernova.”

“There wasn’t.”

“And how would you know?  Were you there?”

“Technically yes.”  Harry nearly chokes on his drink and Nova beams.  “Besides.  The last supernova was in 1604.”

“Wow.”  Harry finally relaxes into his chair.  “Pretty and smart.”

“Comes with the name,” she says, matter-of-factly.  “When you’re named after a type of star, you kind of have to know your stuff.”

“I see.”  Harry smirks like he knows something that Nova doesn’t, and it intrigues her.  He tugs at his bottom lip and watches her for a moment.  She can feel the tips of her ears turning red, and she turns to her laptop.  She hears Harry let out a soft, nasally laugh before he, too, turns back to his laptop. 

She surprises herself when she speaks this time.  “I like your accent.”

Harry smirks, but he doesn’t look away from his laptop.  “Thanks.   Chose it myself.”

Nova rolls her eyes.  “What an original joke.”

Harry giggles-- actually giggles-- and it’s so endearing that Nova physically can’t stop herself from smiling.  “M’from England,” Harry says.  “But I moved here when I was 16.”

“Oh yeah?  Why’s that?”

“When my parents divorced, my mum got a job out here.  And I was... I mean, ya know, I was a kid, right?  So I just came with her.”

“I see.”  Nova picks nervously at her thumbnail.  “Sorry to hear about the divorce.”

Harry shakes his head.  “Nah.  Don’t worry about it.  Still close with both of ‘em.  M’glad, anyway.  They drove each other fuckin’ crazy.”  The way he pronounces the word “fucking” makes Nova swoon, but she refrains from telling him that. 

He turns to his laptop.  “Anyway,” he says again, typing away.  “I like it here.  A lot.”

Nova smiles, busying herself with her own work.  “That’s good!”

They’re quiet after that, and Nova is actually able to go over a few pages of the notes she’d taken a week ago.  She’d been studying for the past few weeks, of course, so she could recite this stuff in her sleep, but still.  It doesn’t hurt to be prepared.

It isn’t even five minutes later, however, when he’s talking again.  He’s asking her some question about Mr. Shuff-- Rick-- and his class, and next thing she knows she’s helping him with his study guide for the midterm.  (The midterm she’d aced with flying colors, she reminds him several times.)

Harry is smart, despite science not being his thing.  A lot of the concepts that come as second nature to her don’t quite click in his brain, but the way he talks about them, the way he asks questions, the way he perceives and listens and takes in everything she’s telling him is fascinating.  (Not to mention the fact that he’s actually quite beautiful to look at.)

Nova hasn’t even noticed when an hour has passed, and she actually feels her stomach drop when Harry mutters, “Oh shit, I’ve gotta go.”

“Where?”  She feels stupid for asking, but she can’t help herself.

Harry is already up and wiggling into his jacket. “I have to go to class.  It starts at 3:30.”

Nova glances down at the clock on her laptop, which reads 3:25.  Damn.

“Thank you so much for all the help, today, really.    I feel like I kind of understand it now.”

“Anytime!” Nova says.  “And you know, I’m here a lot, so.  If you ever need help, you know where to find me.”

Harry shoots her a genuine smile, and she crosses her fingers (on both hands) under the table, praying that he’ll ask for her number.  “Thanks,” he says, nodding.  “I’ll see you around, Nova.”

And then he’s gone, and the shop already seems less bright.  (A terrible metaphor but an accurate one nonetheless.)  

Nova stares dumbly at the empty chair in front of her, and she lets out a sigh she didn’t know she was holding.   Looking back, she probably could’ve asked him for his number instead of hoping he’d ask her for hers.  But still. Ouch.

Her laptop has gone into sleep mode and she wiggles her fingers against the mousepad to “wake it back up.”  She’s hardly even glanced at her notes this entire time, and she doesn’t even care.  She’d gotten to talk about something she loved with one of the most attractive guys she’d seen in AGES... and she had gotten no way of contacting him again.

She reaches for the coffee mug, which has been untouched for the last hour, and frowns when she realizes that the decent amount of coffee she had left is now cold.  So she sighs, drinking it down anyway and then closing her laptop.  She can do the rest of her studying at home, where she can maybe distract herself a bit and not think about those enormous, beautiful green eyes...

She stands then, slipping into her jacket and dropping her used mug off at the counter.  (She knows she could just leave it on the table and someone would come clean it, but having worked as a waitress all through high school, she knows the drill too well and figures she’ll just make everyone’s lives that much easier by doing this.)

With one last nod and a mumbled, “thank you” to the barista, Nova straightens her jacket and heads out the door. 

It’s two nights later, and Nova is impatient.

It’s a Saturday night, 9 business days since she’d ordered her package.  And still, no sign of it.

Who is she supposed to call about this?  She considers looking up the number for customer service on the website she’d ordered from, but then what would she say?  “Hi this is Nova Leary calling, is this dildo support?”  

There’s a reason she’s never done anything like this before, and this is it.

She groans, flipping upside down on the couch so that her head hangs off of the edge of it.  She opens up her Instagram once more and goes to the search section.  In her recent search history are several different variations of usernames containing the name “Harry,” and each time she’d clicked on one to find it wasn’t Coffee Shop Harry, she cursed herself for not asking for his last name.

It isn’t that she’s trying to stalk him, by any means.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite.  She just wants to see how he’s doing.  See if he’s taken Rick’s test yet and how he feels about it.  But she cannot find him anywhere, and she’s beginning to think that maybe its not meant to be.

She hears a knock on the door and groans.  She expects it to be Jessie, because most of the time when Jessie leaves, she forgets her keys.  (Although Nova doesn’t know why she didn’t just put her house key on the same keyring as her car keys.  It’s such a simple solution.)

Nova rolls backwards off the couch and shuffles to the door.  She expects to see Jessie, already kicking off her heels and holding her phone in her hand, with her mouth running a mile a minute telling Nova about tonight’s plans and how Nova should totally join her “just this once girl, pleeeease?”  She expects to turn Jessie down, and she expects Jessie to ask her to curl her hair because “I can’t do it like you, kid!”  

What Nova does not expect when she opens the door is Harry-- Coffee Shop Harry- standing in the hallway and holding a white box with that god-awful smirk.

“Well well well.  If it isn’t the supernova herself.”

She rolls her eyes but she does smile.  “Hi.”  She can’t even begin to explain whats happening in her chest right now.  He looks even better than he did at the coffee shop, if that’s even possible, Good lord. 

“Where’ve you been?  Feels like I haven’t seen you since 1604.”

“Ha ha,” she deadpans, then nods at the box.  “What are you doing here?  How’d you know I lived here?”

“Well, turns out this campus is a lot smaller than you’d think.  I live there,” he nods his head towards the next door over, “And this...”  He takes a deep breath and his cheeks redden the tiniest bit when he holds the box out to her.  “This was delivered to my place.”

It takes Nova a moment to register what he’s holding, and when she does, she gasps.

“Oh... oh my god...”

“Yeah... erm...” Harry shrugs awkwardly.  “I was going to just leave it there and hope you realized but I figured...” The tiniest hint of a smirk tugs at the corners of his mouth once again, but he covers it and lowers his voice.  “Figured you’d maybe want whatever’s inside of here.”

Mortified, Nova gulps and shakes her head. Promised Discreet Packaging, her ass.

Her fingers feel awkward and cold, but her face is hot and overall this feels like she’s experiencing the most intense out-of-body experience in her entire life.  She opens her mouth, then closes it.  She can hear her heart pounding in her ears, and thinks that maybe this is it-- maybe she’s dying.  What she can feel of her body feels like its vibrating at a frequency unheard of by humans and most animals.  When was the last known case of spontaneous human combustion?  Is that what she’s feeling now?  Should Harry get out of the way? 

Harry clears his throat, drawing her from her thoughts and sending another heat wave up to her ears.  “Uh...” she chokes.  “Well... I... thanks.”  She takes the box from his hands in what can only be described as slow motion, despite her best efforts to get out of this situation as quickly as possible. 

Harry hands over the box and his hands feel warm too.  Possibly a little clammy.  Or maybe those are hers. “Sure, yeah. Have a good night.”

Nova closes her eyes and wills them to never open, and Harry lets out a little “Ha-haa!” that crescendos in the most awkward and unnatural way.  “No, that wasn’t... I didn’t mean...  because of the...”  He nods his head towards the box that feels like its going to melt out of her hand’s at any moment.

“Yeah,” she nods, willing him to please, for fucks sake, shut up before he finishes that sentence.  “Uh.  You too.  Have a... good night.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of them makes any type of effort to pick up their feet and move, although for what reason, Nova isn’t sure.  Especially because neither of them will look at the other. And Nova wants more than anything to just close the door and evaporate into nothingness but her feet seem to be glued to the carpet.

Of all people who could’ve been her neighbor.

Harry clears his throat once more for what feels like the 80th time that night.  “Right.”  He nods his head and shoves his hands in his pockets, turning on his heels to head back to his own apartment.

(But not before Nova notices how beyond red his ears are.)

Nova closes her mouth after realizing that a) its been open this entire time, and b) she’s been watching Harry until he disappeared into his own apartment, and she comes back to reality slowly.

Fuck.

When she’s back inside the safety of her own apartment, she sinks down against the door.  She allows the box to drop out of her hands and land with a soft thud on the carpet while she hides her face.  Why did it have to be Coffee Shop Harry? Why did it have to be a fucking vibrator?

Why did this have to happen to her?

She wants to scream, but that, of course, would do her no favors.  So she groans, long and loud until she runs out of breath.  How is she going to be able to face this?  She won’t be able to use this now, knowing that Harry knows about it.  There’s no way she’ll be able to use it.

Except, that is a complete lie.

Four hours later, after Jessie has texted her and told her she’s going to be spending the night at Brad’s, Nova eyes the box that is now sitting in the corner of the living room.  It’s remained untouched since she’d gotten it, but she’d be lying if she said that she hadn’t been thinking about it.  How deliciously teasing it must be on its lowest setting, and how torturously good it must feel on its highest one.  She’d also be lying if she said she hadn’t been practically aching to know what it would look like, covered in her wetness, when she pulled it out from between her thighs.

And, to be frank, she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t been imagining what Harry would look like from down there, holding the vibrator firm between her legs, and watching her come undone with lust in his eyes.

She doesn’t know why she has that thought, and it makes her cheeks turn pink and hot but she can’t even help it.  He’s been on her mind since the afternoon at the coffee shop, and now that she knows that he lives right next door, her thoughts are running even more wild than before.

And so she gives in.

Soon, Nova finds herself half sitting, half laying on her bed, knees curled up and naked from the waist down.  She eyes the contraption in her hands and lets out a shaky breath.  She doesn’t need instructions on how to use this or anything, but goodness, its so intimidating in her hands that she can’t help but feel a little lost.

But she knows what to do.  And she needs to stop putting it off. 

She clears her throat and sits up a bit more, and with her thumb she flips the switch of the vibrator to the lowest setting.  It hums to life, and her eyes widen just a fraction.

Holy shit.

Even on the lowest setting, its powerful.  Her hand thats holding the toy is buzzing, and her mouth practically waters.  She needs to get this on her right now.

She’s still nervous, and she lowers it down between her legs.  Slowly, so as to build up the anticipation.  She thinks she knows what it’s going to feel like, but she doesn’t fully know. What if she doesn’t like it?

And then she feels it.  Even on its lowest setting, it sends a tingle up her spine almost instantly.  Her jaw drops and she can’t help the gasp that escapes her lips.  Her knee-jerk reaction is to pull it away, and she sits there for a moment, taking it all in.

She definitely likes it.

She presses the tip against her clit again almost hungrily and allows her head to fall back against the wall.  Her eyes flutter closed as she sighs out a quiet “Ohhh.”  It feels so good, especially when she adds a bit of pressure.  Fuck, why did she wait so long to purchase one of these?

She uses her thumb to increase the speed and groans the minute she hears the buzzing getting louder.  She tilts the vibrator to hit her clit from an angle and lets out a half moan, half gasp noise that she knows she’s never made before. With a giggle, she thanks her lucky stars that Jessie isn’t home tonight and she can be as loud as she wants. Because, oh god, does she want to be loud.

She swirls the vibrator against her clit with a little flick of her wrist, and moans loudly just because she can.  It feels good, and its even better knowing that she doesn’t have to suppress that feeling for anyone.  Although truthfully, she’s not even sure she could suppress it if she wanted to.  Not with how good this thing feels. 

She allows herself to fall into a steady rhythm of rocking her hips against the top, and she’s nearly drooling.  Every now and then she hits a certain spot that makes her toes curl and her breath hitch and she makes a note to focus more on that spot.  She revels in how good she’s feeling, and her mind begins to drift.

It starts small.  She thinks about how she wants to do this every night.  About what a shame it is that she’s missed out on making herself feel this good for so long.  About how she doesn’t need a partner to make herself feel good, and how wonderful that is.

But then, she thinks about having a partner.  Someone to hold this against her while they kiss her neck or lick into her mouth.  Someone with long fingers that could curl up inside her while they use their other hand to continuously roll this against her clit.  Someone with a deep voice, so that the words “You like this, baby? Hm? Feel good?” sound like honey dripping off their lips.  Someone with shaggy hair, green eyes, a thick british accent...

Fuck, she’s thinking about Harry.

Her legs kick out and her back arches just a bit when she hits another particularly good spot, and without even giving it a second thought, she turns up the speed.  She lets out a long, loud moan and involuntarily bucks her hips up against the vibrator.  Her head hits the wall once more with an embarrassingly loud thud, but she doesn’t even care.  She can’t be bothered to even begin to care; not when this feels so good and her mind is completely engrossed with thoughts of Harry.

She imagines what he would look like down between her legs, eyes trained on her face and bottom lip tucked between his teeth.  Her cheeks turn red when she allows herself to whisper his name softly under her breath, but it feels so good.  She starts to do it again, but cuts herself off when she hits her clit from a different angle.

Her whispers turn into a moan that almost sounds like a shout, and if she wasn’t so wrapped up in how good she’s feeling, she’d be worried about the fact that the tail end of Harry’s name was completely audible.  But how can she even think about that when she can hardly even think at all?  That familiar tingle in her belly is beginning to blossom, and all she can focus on is getting there.

And so she bucks her hips with a bit more aggression this time, and completely releases any and all inhibitions. A chorus of “fuckfuckfuck” and “shit oh my god” and “yes holy shit yes!” pours from her mouth and echos off the walls of her all too quiet apartment.  She doesn’t even have time to make the conscious decision to allow herself to cum, and its almost ridiculous how quickly she’s reached her orgasm. Especially considering how all she’s done with it is rub at her clit.  Her free hand grasps and tugs at the comforter of her bed, and her bottom lip stings because of how strongly it’s wedged between her teeth.   This is hands down the most intense orgasm she’s ever experienced, and she didn’t even have time to insert the thing inside of her or switch to the highest setting. 

She is loving every single second of it.

When the feeling passes, Nova is left completely breathless.  She flicks the vibrator off and drops it onto the bed beside her, and then she just stares. 

Fucking hell.

She gives herself time to catch her breath, and it feels almost like a struggle to keep her eyes open.  It’s the loveliest, most intense thing she’s experienced in a while, and she feels herself slowly returning back to earth, one shaky breath at a time.

When she straightens out her legs, her thighs twitch repeatedly-- almost like aftershocks.  Is that supposed to happen?  She doesn’t know, but right now, she’s too tired to be worried about it.  With a stretch, she curls and uncurls her toes, allowing them to crack and pop.  It feels surprisingly good, because she hadn’t realized how hard she’d been curling her toes the entire time.

And in the midst of it all, her thoughts drift back to Harry.  She thinks of how kind he must be during the aftershocks.  How smug he’d be that he’d made her feel so good.  And how hard his cock would be... how delicious it would taste...

Nova swallows when she realizes that she’s salivating at the thought of him, and she feels her cheeks grow hot once more.  Another twitch of her thighs snaps her back to reality.  

She can’t be fantasizing about him like this.  Absolutely not.  He’s her neighbor, and she’s only had one conversation with him.  (Two, if she considers the one she’d had with him earlier.  Which, she doesn’t.)

So why on earth is the thought of him using this vibrator on her so sexy, and why had it brought her to orgasm in under five minutes?

Suddenly, Nova feels embarrassed. Even more embarrassed than before.  Which is stupid, because she knows she’s alone in the apartment and has nothing to hide.  But still, she feels so vulnerable.  Exposed.  Naked.

Which reminds her that she is, in fact, naked from the waist down.  

“Fuck,” she mutters under her breath.  She rolls off of her bed and her knees wobble ever so slightly once she puts weight on them.  She tries not to think about her twitching thighs and how wet she feels.  And most importantly, she tries not to think about Harry anymore.

Although she’s almost positive that he’d take care of her in these intimate moments after the intensity passed.  He’d probably get her a clean pair of underwear and one of his hoodies, which would smell like him, and he’d probably help her clean herself off.  Not to mention, of course, how good he’d probably smell....

Shut up, Nova.

She shakes her head and retrieves a pair of pink cotton panties from her top drawer.  Nowhere near sexy, but they’re comfortable and that’s what she needs right now.

She bets Harry would love them.

With a groan she gathers up her PJs, as well as the vibrator, and heads into the bathroom.  Her face feels hot the entire time she’s washing off the tip of the toy with a damp cloth.  (Is that what you’re supposed to do?  She’d read online that she needed to keep the vibrator clean, but is this correct?  Why does this shit confuse her so much?)

Fifteen minutes later, Nova is in bed and the vibrator is stored safely and discreetly in her closet.   She still feels awkward and giddy, like a little kid almost, and her thighs continue to buzz every so often with another little aftershock.  

She’s fading fast, and its hard to even focus her mind right now.  But what she does focus on is the one person who’s been her driving force behind nearly everything for the past hour or so.

She hugs her pillow closer and allows herself to imagine its him.  Imagining the scent of his bare chest, the warmth of his skin, and the gentle thumping of his heartbeat.  She imagines his fingers in her hair, trailing lightly down her back, and his thick accent humming and muttering her praises in her ear.  “Such a good girl for me.”  “Rode that so well.”  “Look so pretty when you cum.”

Nova knows she’ll have to deal with this in the morning, of course.  Or rather, not deal with it at all.  She knows she’ll eventually see Harry again, and she  knows herself well enough to know she will probably never make eye contact with him after tonights incident.  (She has the fleeting, sleepy thought that tonight could be referred to as The Great Dildo Incident and it makes her giggle so hard that she starts coughing.)

For now, though, she’s happy.  And warm.  And sincerely exhausted after fucking herself to the thought of her cute british neighbor.

And so for now, that is enough.

[stayatsam]

kind of a vent below i just need to write some thots out on the internet and likes give a brief sense of satisfaction that someone is listening but not trying to give advice lol

warning for like ed/poor eating habits and stress and death/disease and uh college i guess

HMMMMMMM im uh..... not .. doing so hot right now

classes are fine but i feel like im wasting my time at college for a job i probably won’t even get and the only thing im passionate about is art and that’s not a sustainable job for me since im not a popular artist and i also suck at art i hate the internet a LOT but i love sharing my art online and seeing what people think of it  i wish i could just live on a ranch or something and not have to worry about like.. The Market (tm) and having to take public transport and go to crouded grocery stores and trudge through brutalist architecture every day to take classes i dont even like

but on that like.. im being sucked dry by everything

i have been BARELY eating to the point my stomach feels like its shrinken so i cant eat like full meals anymore 

like today i had a bowl of rice and four sushi rolls and i felt sickly full and its bad ive been feeling physically less energetic or like.. happy because im not eating and im TRYING to but it just doesnt happen and i dont think im like anorexic in the way that in high school i forcibly kept myself from eating anything like i WANT to eat i just.. stomach hurts and its hard to get like fresh foods around where i am since im not exactly in the position where me and my roommate have our own kitchen

and like jesus christ my dad has a disease thats making cysts grow on both his kidneys that will Inevitably cause kidney failure and death. as bad as that sounds he could still have another 25 years on him but i hate thinking that his health is just gonna decline especially since hes been working so hard his like whole life to be healthy and work out blah blah blah and like.. the only way hed be able to get out of this is if he somehow gets a double kidney transplant...and my mom told me not to worry about it but like.. thats my dad... and he’s a pretty good dad despite his faults

and i hate knowing that theres a VERY likely chance i have the same disease and will end up the same way etc etc and i JUST feel so powerless