#thats cause i got problems
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one thing i have 2 say about "going into someones memories" trope in fics is that its never addressed how violating it is....,
#barkingrn#BUUUUT!! yea nah brother going into someones head wo their permission and viewing their memories is kidna fucked#and extremely fucked when its done to quote unquote help them#like yknow 'seeing the trauma' type beat#narratively its fun but like its also super skipping over the 'im going to enter your mind as a i please and force you my help'#<- 'help' being forced gets me so mad every time HASHDFSJ#thats cause i got problems#B)
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I have way too many alts that I keep to myself (which is why I generally refrain from posting them), but I'm going to ignore that habit for a moment just because I'm feeling particularly insane about this guy.
#silvis side characters#<--- been a while since i used that tag despite intending it to be for this specific type of char#i basically like to play sandbox with concepts for both screens and writing so they tend to become surprisingly developed#even if i end up not touching them again once im satisfied and have gained the outlet i wanted#... this guy and another connected to him has been unusually persistent however. surprisingly so. LOL#maybe i should post them more``??? but for some reason that feels weird cause what if i just dont use them again!!#idk why i feel like im setting up expectations i need to hold. literally no one is putting pressure on me to do anything its ALL in my brai#i mean its a bit because i know i got too much and thats overwhelming and therefore its not like i expect anyone to keep track of them LOL#im regretfully cursed with too much inspiration for too many things at all times and i will make it everyone elses problem just for a bit#anyway the reason i dont intend to make this one a more major oc for use with other people (for the time being at least)#is because he's so HEAVILY tied to another side character of mine in a way where im not sure they can be separated from each other.#actually you can see him now i realize its the viera in the first shot lmao!#i forgot to mention his name is yuzuru and thats about as much as ill inflict on anyone right now <333#i promise you i dont JUST have male midlanders as unbelievable as that might sound. anyway-#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#hyur#midlander#ffxiv screenshot#gpose#gposers#ff14#final fantasy 14#nabaath-areng
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asdfasdf i know some people used to do redesigns to mock the originals and i HATE that kinda mindset like no I'm just having fun with character design
fanon and canon designs are kissing with tongue lets not be meanie beanies
#no idea if thats still a thing or not but i remember this being a problem like 5 years ago#i wanted to do a series of redesign videos but it never panned out mostly cause i got nervous abut this very thing
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if aradia's death was just in-character for a long roleplay, what's the deal with tavros and terezi's disabilities? did vriska have anything to do with them?
She Did Do Those Things. vriska no!!!!!!
#im insane that vriska is a roleplayer#its so funny to me i love roleplaying jokes#for those not in the know: 'i was just acting in character' is a common phrase used by people Behaving Badly#vriskas like OOOOOOHHH you want me to break the carefully crafted and lovingly acted personality of marquise spinneret mindfang? you monste#listen!!! im playing as my spidersona!!!!! its what she would do shes a spider you want me to not act like a spider???#vriska. you threw the boy off a cliff screaming and cackling to yourself FLY PUPA FLY#thats not '''''''in character''''' marquise spinneret wouldnt have fucking done that you bitch!!! you just got bored and started#causing problems!!!!#her glasses details had to be shifted around because vriska saying to terezi 'its harder for me. i lost 7 eyes you only lost 2' is so fucki#oh my god vriska no. NO. VRISKA#but yeah she did still do those things. i wasnt sure how to handle this but i decided to go this way. a vriska is a vriska#vriska#homestuck#bugstuck#vriska serket#One time I got a death threat in the middle of an in-person roleplaying game. That underclassman just looked at me with hatred in their eye#a panic attack#then later after THAT they began openly weeping.
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finding out ur coworker is way older than you thought and having to very quickly reorient how you talk to them
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#synthv#synthesizer v#genbu#kasane teto#rikka is also here :) i think she likes to cause problems sometimes. because all the adults in her life are dweebs#and very easy to cause problems with <3#anyone else have this happen before. im older than a lot of my university peers and i always have been#because i took 5 years in highschool and my undergrad has been like 6 years and counting#(hashtag learning disability <3 ) and like thats chill to me i dont mind#but now i usually assume everyones way younger than me and i get shocked when theyre not. a buddy in some of my classes#when i first met her i absolutely and completely assumed she was like barely 19 and talked to her as such#like i dont talk down to people or anything but i do soften the way i talk a bit and give a bit extra patience with younger peers#cause yknow. i remember what it was like being 19. being 26 is WAY easier lol so i wanna give em a bit of leeway yknow#anyway a few months after meeting her i found out she was actually a year older than me and a grad student when she ended up as a TA in#another class i took. i felt so bad. we bonded tho and she didnt mind she thought it was kinda funny when i was like WAIT UR A GRAD STUDENT#i thought she was like a first or second year undergrad..............#also yeah im a 31yo teto fan. i dont mind the popular fanon that she has a separate age that makes her actually 15 and#i dont mind that more interpretations have her like that BUT for my internal canon she is a grown ass woman because i think its fun <3#she pays taxes. she goes to work parties. she can rent a car. i love it#let teto rent a car. let her rent a car.#yknow im exicted to be 31. i still got a few more years of being a 20 something which is fun. but being a 30 something sounds like it rules
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What a worthless animal
#oc: siggy#first image is babies attempting to figure out their ideal limb count#anyway having a bit of a 'never trust how you feel about your life at 3am' moment but i think the artfight brain plague is beginning to hit#dont worry about me im fine#just feeling a lil bad about maybe not being able to clean up the revenges i would like too and theres sooo many i didnt even get to sketch#and am only at like 50% of how much i 'scored' last year so it makes me feel a lil eh like im not doing as much#but ultimately i did way way more revenges even if it mightve been a mistake LMAO so at least thats something#although i feel bad cause i didnt even revenge some of the coolest ones i got!!! augh!!!!!!!!!!#ah well beetles dont have to deal with these problems we should be more like them#if you read my tag rants sorry about the lore on how my brain works you should check out the wooly chafer beetle
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If Penny had a nickel for everytime her immediate friends and family were involved in an ecological disaster, then she'd have two nickels. Which isn't alot but it's weird that it happened twice.
#penny being peony's daughter was insane#she's related to chairman rose#penny does not get any breaks in this franchise i swear#she got bullied for years#her father is overbearingly clingy#her uncle caused an ecological calamity in galar#her friend's dad has a time machine thats also causing an ecological problem#and then she got possessed by a purple fruit#someone get this child a warm blanket and some comfort fanfics stat#pokemon#pokemon penny#pokemon sv#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon the indigo disk#the indigo disk#mochi mayhem#pokemon peony#peony#chairman rose
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my friend really like calling me gay now…uhm..cause she found out im gay
but shes GAYER!!! so HAH!!!
#shes aroace#i got so happy when she said that because for a while she was like “oh no i just never had a crush before lol”#uhhh problem now everyone thinks i wanna date her and thats WEIRD. cause they think im a lesbian#im a guy who likes guys and is on the aroace spectrum
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#art summary#i have to clear out my phone. im hoping that if i remove all the nier rein screenshots ill have space#im almost certain its all the rein screenshots cause. they’re bigger than most pics and i had a lot#otherwise im not cooked but god i hope its that easy#i dont make resolutions but i hope i draw more next year#the problem with art summaries is youll have months where you draw a lot#months where yiu draw 10 good things and then every other month is empty#but you drew. so you cant look at art summaries with emoty months and get sad#but like i didn’t draw as much this year lmao too much going on in my head#i was gonna say i rarely drew but i draw so much more than the average person#what i really mean is i didn’t finish anything#i was in my dA gallery the other day and I really used to draw a fully colored piece everyday on high school#absolutely mad. and we (me and my friends) all used to do it#i just had a thought: a majority of my friends draw <- thoughts for later#i had to answer the door so I forgot what i was talking about#i think that. what i was getting at was that behavior really screws up what’s a healthy relationship with art?#like when you’re a kid you have time and when you’re inexperienced and don’t know you’re more forgiving on your mistakes#whereas now if i draw one thing a week thats a job well done to me. im so busy i can’t take it out on myself and i dont#and of course the sms algorithm but I don’t play with the algorithm#but yeah everyone i grew up drawing with friends or ppl i follow stopped drawing or just posting a lot and I’ve been thinking about it a lot#an artist i really like used to post a whole bunch of art dumps everyday. just doodles on different series and i loved seeing them#but they stopoed posting. working on being that kind of artist for me. we got xx art at home situation#if any of that makes sense
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really really funny to post a whole long well-thought-out thing about how i no longer identify as plural then immediately get into a week long argument with myself(s) about whether that's true
#fucking classic behavior honestly#like yeah okay maybe i AM a little plural.#however it generally causes me extra stress and problems to focus on or think about it too much#as opposed to many people who say that it is freeing for them#the only way i got out of a years long crisis about The Self(s)#was to embrace a philosophy of 'the Self is made up and fake; you werent pretending but you also#dont have to keep the facets of yourself so sharply separated if it no longer feels right.'#and i was like okay❤️yay👍#however then theres also stuff like.#me being caught in a bfrb loop this morning until sawyer switched in and was like stop it dumbshit we're doing other stuff now#and then the urge instantly went away and we dissociated and wrote this post#and started arguing over whether the past several years have been a different host#like wtf am i supposed to do with that..............#i literally just declared that none of this applies to me would you shut the fuck up#like at the same time i do experience and believe in a continuity of 'me'. trying to deny that just makes things worse#i just disagree with myself sometimes it's whatever#have i been sitting here at work half dissociated thinking about this for a fucking hour. this is what happens#we dont fucking sleep enough.#and also what happened before we initiated the 'its literally fine to not think about it much and just exist' rule#wheres that post thats like EVERY ME IS ME BABY I AM THE MASK AND THE WEARER#wait. new pinned post time#aphelion.txt#system tag
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Ok uhm. I been getting weird things about human fang. Please dont, call him weird things? Or question why I make a character white, or of color. I do what I want and I research it. If you see a character of mine and they are human expect them to be heavily based on where I'm from. Don't put comments like that under my things. It's making me really uncomfortable and feels really racist
#he got called a yeti and i dont know how to feel about that#if i make a character black or white thats my choice cause its my interpretation#my intepretations are based off myself or family and friends i am hispanic#i am white passing but i am not white.#stop putting weird comments#dont be fucking weird in my posts#im getting kinda upset#fang is poc but he has albinism. that is all. even then if he was black#OR white thats not your problem.#its my FUCKING choice#actually it shouldnt even be a problem#why is it bad if i make a white or poc character#were too old for this bullshit yall
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lost 14 pounds from eating poorly
#been having problems with eating since december#its just like i get times i cant eat anything or i can only eat applesauce or smthn#not fun i promise#anyway thats what caused me to go to urgentcare on fridays#i got a legit doctor appointment tomorrow so heres hopin!#personal
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OK SO I FORGOT, i got some shuttle art markers and they're actually like. awesome

i did this quick drawing really late at night so its kinda tradh but I LOVE THE WAY THESE GUYS COLOR
theres also a way bigger variety of colors, love that
expect some new drawings soon !
BEFORE I FORGET THIS IS XAIVER, MY SKELETON OC, he belongs to me!! be nice to him!!
#my ocs#undertale oc#shuttle art#traditional art#art#only problem with shuttle art is the lines#but i assume thats for all markers?#otherwise theyre actually really smooth#when i first got them it was cause of tiktok...#im actually really surprised theyre so good?? like what#i thought the reviews were lies???#anyway#this was really fun to do!#kat learns how to draw
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the american healthcare system is so bad! lol!
#insulting that im taking money out of my paycheck to pay for this#and there are additional costs on top of that#ive been for healthcare reform for a while now but never experienced it firsthand#i just knew that it was causing problems for other people and thought we should probably change it#but now i know for myself i was correct#this whole abdominal issue would probably be resolved right now if our healthcare system was semi competnt#and thats not to insult any of the people ive been working with to fix it theyre great#its just the system itself leaves you waiting for so long#i had a visit recently and it was determined that while what im dealing with is not something seriously dangerous i should see a specialist#to get a more in depth look at the issue#and also do some testing as well#but now i have to wait ntil mid-may to do that#theres just so much waiting which is not fun when youre having health issues you want fixed#but there is good news#one i no longer have to do that godawful elimination diet that didnt work#do not do that unless you have to it will ruin your life#and also i got prescribed a medicine that seems to really help#ideally the underlying issue can be treated so i do not have to rely on the medicine but its a good bandaid while i wait for said treatment#and its only about 7 dollars with my insurance#so in some ways im lucky but its still frustrating just having to wait so long to be ok again#but i dont expect that to change for the next 4 years while President Concepts of a Plan is in office
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i havn't posted about agricultural engineering in a really long time
because truth be told, i'm kind of disillusioned. The science is fun and there are amazing people in this field, don't get me wrong, but time and time again it is the bloodsucking billionaires that are the main cause of the hunger and the misery in agriculture I wanted to solve. Here on tumblr, I had many pages of notes waiting to be turned into posts but I can't find the energy to write about the topics in this field anymore. it boils down to the same exact problem almost every time, the root of it all being the rich and powerful trying to become more rich and powerful. I guess I am having an early case of a midlife crisis or something lmao, I just feel very, how to put it, suspended? I'm not sad or mad or confused, just in limbo. A bit of a pit stop, except no work is done, i am just looking around trying to calculate which road is the most efficient one.
so yeah, anyone that followed me for ag content, you will most likely not get fed anytime soon either (pun very much intended) and i am actually a bit sorry about that while not exactly feeling bad about it either
but i still stand on that hill, agriculture is cool and important and so much richer than people give it credit for
#i think i need a year long vacation or something#i got soo many gray hairs bc of the stress i put on myself thinking if i only do this or that i can do my part in getting people fed#thats the naive dream that made me go to uni roght out of highschool even though i actually had other goals entirely#and i still love that dream but it has become this precious little kid i want to shield from#the truth that capitalist assholes causing these problems will not have a change of heart ever and that the solution is less theory#and more action#the theory is already there#like the science has been scienced if you will#and i need to find my spark again and i am increasingly believing it is not in the science anymore#my needs have changed#definitely#it feels really weird to not be insane about agriculture anymore#and still love it this much#agricultural engineering
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[ID copied from alt text: A digital drawing of a portrait of the Bryn family, characters in my D&D campaign. The family is made up of parents Ferris (he/him) and Delia (she/her), tween daughter Nerisya (she/they), and twin babies Owyn and Aymen (both he/him). Delia and her three kids are sat together on a couch, with Delia holding the two swaddled babies, while Ferris is stood behind the others. Ferris is a young, muscular, pale complexion human man with light brown hair pulled up in a small ponytail, as well as a short chin beard. He is wearing ceremonial armor that is in shades of gold and brown, with an orange heart gem at the center of the chest plate, along with a dark teal half cape, and dark green pants. He is smiling as he looks forward.
Sat on the far left of the couch is Nerisya, a young, thin, pale complexion Half Elf girl with bright red hair pulled up in high ponytails, each with a blue and gold crystal clip in them. She is wearing an orange dress with light blue accents and a pink flower necklace. She is smiling as she looks at her mom. Delia is a young, thin, pale complexion Elf woman with short bright red hair. She is wearing a brown and red dress, with her accessories all adorned with a similar light blue gem, excluding her wedding ring, which has an orange gem in a silver band. She is smiling as she looks towards the viewer. She is sat in three quarters profile, holding her swaddled sons close. Owyn and Aymen are twin pale complexion Half Elf babies with short red-brown hair. They are both resting with cute smiles on their faces. End description.]
Been thinking a lot about the family of one of my player's PC's and just thought itd be real cute to draw the happy family ���🧡
#Eli's Art#EWF#Nerisya#Bryn Family#Ferris Bryn#Delia Bryn#Owyn Bryn#Aymen Bryn#they actually are a happy family!#they got some problems#like mom's family may or may not have a generational contract with a nefarious archfey that she didnt tell her kids about#but thats just normal family stuff right?#its fineeee#Delia and Ferris have also Been In My Head lately#theyre good people#and i kinda wanna draw them when they first met#cause their origin is p important to Nerisya's backstory so ive had to think a lot about it#and I just love Them#Ferris was the first person who Delia ever felt truly seen by#he liked her cause she was awkward and funny and passionate#not cause of any of the BS stuff her family tried to make her into to uphold their family name#Delia wanted to be a cleric but that wasnt good enough for them#and eventually she just had enough and left and went back to Ferris's home#the aforementioned evil fey contract may have also played into that but semantics lmao#anyway#i love this weird little family#and this was very fun to draw
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