#thats because this was copy and pasted so keep that in mind lol

[alaydabug2]

[seiwas]

i maxxed the tags (what did i expect) but!!

what a soft piece ari 🥺 thank you for sharing this hurt/comfort piece w us!! i think satoru will always be a figure of strength—but i think it’s in part because that’s how he brands himself to be around the people he cares about. he’ll never truly share how he thinks and feels about things, will almost always downplay it really. but he’s always worrying, always aware and cautious, overthinking 🥺 and i felt that loads here!!

there’s a shipwreck stuck between your ribs ; satoru gojo

synopsis; three times satoru sees you cry, and the understanding you gain of each other from it.

word count; 4.6k

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, the synopsis speaks for itself i think, copious amounts of hurt/comfort, i just think he’d be so good at comforting u :ccc, also fluff!!, he’s addicted to calling u ”baby,” satoru gojo vs human emotion (he loses)

a/n; pls ignore the fact that 90% of my gojo fics are hurt/comfort ok we dont need to get into that <33 the writing in this one might be a lil rusty but im pretty fond of this gojo :’3

dim lights, buttery popcorn, and boredom.

the senses invading his mind are mellow, coaxing, a little tedious. all he can see are the buzzing lights before him, all he can hear is the insistent chewing of the people around him, and all he can feel is just that:

boredom.

satoru stifles a yawn, resting his cheek on the heel of his palm. he’s trying to pay attention — really, he is. trying to pay attention to the movie he picked out himself, after thoughtful consideration, one he’s been looking forward to watching with you all week. he’s trying his best. but, gosh, it’s just so boring.

or maybe he just doesn’t have it in him today — with all these too-dim lights, too-loud popcorn-chewers, and the too-convoluted plot playing on the big screen in front of him. he has no idea what’s happening, anymore, what scene this is supposed to be. some sob-story? he clocked out a while ago.

so, with nothing better to do — satoru decides to savour another view.

that’s how it always goes. no matter the movie, no matter the snacks, whether you’re watching at home on the couch or a nearby movie theatre — eventually, when his eyelids begin to grow heavy, or when his attention span begins to falter, that blue-soaked gaze of his shifts. a moth to a flame, following his instincts. constantly looking over to see what kind of face you're making. 

after all, your reactions are far more entertaining than any movie could ever hope to be. little sighs of exasperation, jolts and shivers down your spine, or a laughter so bubbly he can’t resist leaning in for a kiss or ten — he loves it. adores it. lives and dies by it. 

so satoru turns his head, and looks at you, knowing you’ll save him from the boredom clutching at his subconscious. 

and something in his chest constricts.

at first, he doesn’t notice it. hungrily lapping over the expanse of your jaw, to your cheekbones, his gaze drinking in everything he can see. scanning your eyes for a hint of emotion; and he finds it. he finds it in something that glimmers in the dim lighting of the theatre, something that has his breath drawing back to the depths of his throat.

tears.

crystalline, dew-drawn, a fresh set of tears clinging to the edge of your lash line. they’ve yet to fall, but satoru sees them — he sees them and he doesn’t know what to do. 

tears. 

tears?

you’re crying.

in the depths of your glassy eyes, he sees a fractured scene — playing against the scope of your iris, as the movie reflects off your pupils. there’s a turmoil there, a sadness, one that has you covering your mouth with the front of your knuckle. and you’re crying.

satoru wants to tease you. he wants to lean over and purr against the shell of your ear, poke fun at you for being so emotional. such a little baby. what else is he supposed to do?

the tricky part is that he can’t. he can’t move, can’t shape his voice into a purr, can’t even speak. he’s frozen in place like a bug trapped in amber, stuck to his seat, unable to do anything but blink at you in what he thinks might be bewilderment.

his breath hitches — and that’s all. 

something about the sight of you makes him falter, makes him stop in his tracks. catches him off guard. he doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t recognize the feeling stirred deep within his chest, something discomforting and foreign. doesn’t understand why his heart feels so itchy, all of a sudden.

then your eyes meet.

and you blink. once, then twice. eyes just a little wide, an embarrassed kind of surprise. he thinks you must be flustered, and he’s proven right when your gaze flees from his.

a mingle of words clog up at the base of his throat. say something, say something, say something. but he doesn’t know what. 

he wets his lips, preparing to part them, but before he can get the first syllable out you're leaning in. close. close enough that he feels your breath ghost against the shell of his ear, close enough that his heart starts skipping the way it always does when you press yourself against him like that’s where you belong.

a whisper. it’s small, hushed, a little frail. but there’s something else, too, laced together with the vowels — amusement. 

”you didn’t tell me this was a sad movie.”

a pout plays at your lips, as you murmur your grievances. but then there’s that amusement; it’s there when you pull back, in the crinkle of your sparkling eyes, the curve of your smile. 

and satoru’s shoulders relax. stiffened bones melting. he exhales a breath he had no idea he was holding, and his heart feels at ease. a grin finds it’s way to his lips, wide, teasing, cheshire and sweet. 

he leans a little closer, bumping his head against yours. gently. ”i think you’re just sensitive, baby.”

his teasing is rewarded with a little huff, as your elbow meets his side. soft. everything you do is soft. 

”oh, shut up,” you scoff. smiling. he’s so relieved that you’re smiling. 

a moth to a flame, following his instincts, satoru brings you closer. an arm around your waist, pulling you into his orbit, until you’re practically sharing seats. searching for your hand — and he finds it, intertwining his long fingers with yours, just to give it a little squeeze.

(for some reason, he feels more protective than usual.)

he feels your gaze. questioning, maybe. but you melt into him quickly, with your head slumped against his shoulder, and his heart settles back into a sleepy rhythm. just watching the movie pass you by.

the dim lighting of the theatre casts a hazy shadow over your face, a tender desaturation, and his eyes stay glued to it when you aren’t looking. the smell of popcorn hangs heavy in the air, salty and buttery, warm and sweet, and he’s almost grateful to feel that familiar boredom tug at his veins.

anything is fine. anything is better than that discomfort, that irritating itch. 

satoru watches the movie flicker by, scene by scene, whispering commentary into your ear and stealing your popcorn with a satisfied hum. chuckling when you whisper-shout at him to cut it out!

he tries not to think of the glittering tears at your lash line, and almost succeeds.

rain clouds, cups of chamomile, and frustration.

it seeps out into the open air, engulfing your living room in a feverish haze. thick and suffocating; the scent of heavy rain, lukewarm tea, and that ugly, ugly feeling underneath his skin.

it pulses. it itches. and oh, how it aches.

satoru hates it. he hates feeling angry, feeling upset — hates when either of those emotions are in connection to you. hates it, hates it, hates it more than anything.

he does everything he possibly can to avoid it; his eyes are keen, always have been, and he can see when that thin line he shouldn’t cross crawls a little too close for comfort. when the rubber band of your patience just snaps. he sees all your buttons, knows which ones not to push. he knows you.

and, more importantly, more than anything — nothing you do could ever make him angry at you. 

(well, at least that’s what he thought.) 

satoru’s anger is a fickle thing, controlled, kept under wraps. it’s a slow process; it simmers, boils, a cup of chamomile brewed too long. and then it all but invades his senses. it never gets the best of him, never, but right now he can feel it — little pinpricks against his skin, a frustration that stirs his guts and has his eyes going cold.

satoru towers over you, like this. full height on display. not slouching or draping himself over furniture, but standing tall, and proud, and menacing. he isn’t smiling, and that’s all you need to know that he’s upset with you. his eyes are layered over with discontentment. 

a sigh spills from his lips, a little gruff, unmistakably annoyed. it slices the silence of the room in half, and a shiver travels down your spine. he doesn’t notice it. his voice has a rough edge to it, something firm. something that doesn’t sound like it could come out of his mouth at all.

”don’t act like such a child.”

a flinch. or maybe more like a jolt; this time, he notices, but it’s too late. he’s in too deep, boiled water licking at his ankles, pulling him down. frustration nips at his skin, and he can’t quite seem to push it away.

and you’re just so, so unaccustomed to it. unaccustomed to seeing him wear anything but a smile, unaccustomed to that cold gaze, usually nothing but warm and fond when it meets your own. this isn’t like him.

it’s not like him at all.

swallowing thickly, you do your best to calm down. but before you can make any attempt to contain it, wetness begins to gather in the corners of your eyes. pooling, little droplets yearning to fall.

satoru notices them instantly. he sees that sad glimmer, framed by the murky darkness seeping in from beyond the curtains, accompanied by the symphony of pitter patter against the windowpane. tears, much like the rain beating down outside.

and his chest goes cold.

a tiny sniffle pushes past your lips, and the dam inside you begins to break — tears tripping over your lash line, rolling down your cheeks. cascading across your pretty face. the air fills with a sense of dread, and both of you seem to be thinking the exact same thing.

(oh, fuck.)

satoru notices, belatedly, that his throat has gone dry. that his heart feels itchy, again. it itches and itches but he can’t do anything to soothe it, and your tears continue to fall. 

his heart begins to crack. right down the middle, like a gash in the reflection of a puddle, right across his chest. it hurts.

an inhale, then an exhale. you’re still trying to keep it all together, grasping for control over your emotions, but it’s not going too well. the little breaths that escape your throat are shaky at best, hands trembling as you wipe the tears away with the front of your wrists. and your voice sounds a little like it’s about to crumble away. 

”sorry,” you squeak, taking a step back. there’s a silent panic in the gesture, one that makes satoru want to get down on his knees. ”i’ll just — i’ll leave —”

he wants to stop you. he needs to stop you. but he does nothing, nothing at all, even as you stumble out. leaving the haunting echo of tiny sniffles and tear-stained cheeks behind you. 

satoru just stands there. once again, the sight of your tears seems to render him completely helpless. useless.

and he's frustrated, honestly. frustrated by the argument, by your tears, by his own guilt. he’s so frustrated he wants to claw his eyes out. he scratches at his forearm, but it does no good. all he can think of is your frightened little expression.

(he scared you.)

satoru slumps down on the couch, head in his hands, running rough fingers through his soft hair. it’s unruly by the time he’s done, and his bottom lip is bruised with teeth marks, and everything in the world feels so meaningless. so out of tune.

(he made you cry.)

a sigh. drawn out, tinged with exhaustion, bitter and battered like the swing of a baseball bat. he feels a little like he could throw up. it’s foreign, this emotion, suffocating. how long has it been since he genuinely felt this kind of shame?

the crack in his heart grows deeper, while you’re gone. more severe. every moment you spend outside of his vision makes him falter more and more, makes his desperation grow. desperate to plead for your forgiveness, to convince you not to leave. to wipe the tears away from your cheeks, delicately, the way you deserve. but he can do nothing but sit there, useless, repeating the same old phrase inside his mind.

he’ll make it up to you.

and when you finally come back, having calmed down a bit, he does just that. you’re embarrassed, he can tell, a little meek. it makes him feel that discomforting emotion, again, that ache. the crack that only ever seems to deepen.

but he covers it all up with a smile. a little sheepish, more than a little forced, but he hopes you understand. hopes you can see his remorse, see a man who loves you, because he does. 

so satoru takes you into his arms, softly, hands finding the small of your back. delicate, protective. a little whisper spilling from his lips. 

”’m sorry, baby. i didn’t mean it.”

and it’s not enough. he knows it isn’t. but he does what he can — even when it just ends up clumsy, teasing, bordering on something that most would interpret as insincere. all he can do is coddle you. shower you in hugs and kisses, gifts and praises. he hands it out like candy, eager hands finding yours, everything spilling out of his chest all at once. 

there’s a desperation to it that isn’t lost on you.

but it works. he’ll make it up to you; he swears. and he dotes on you until you’re too embarrassed to be sad anymore, apologizes until his throat runs dry. until he’s sure you believe him. 

he brews you another cup of chamomile, stirred to perfection, warm enough to make up for the shiver he sent down your spine. the rain beating down on your windows serves as a constant reminder of his failure, and satoru does his best to ignore it. swallowing what’s left of his frustration, focusing on you.

anything to see you smile again. anything to wash away the red tint to your eyes, the puffy skin beneath them. anything to hear you laugh, to get you to feel safe around him again. 

(anything to make him forget the sight of those tears rolling down your cheeks.)

panic, panic, panic.

it’s all he can feel, all he can think, the only emotion his muddled mind can cling to. he’s in pure, sincere, genuine panic, and you aren’t saying a thing. can’t bring yourself to.

arms wrapped around his waist, tightly, you hide away in the crook of his neck. clutching the fabric of his shirt, burrowing your face deeper into his warmth — and you’re not just crying.

you’re downright sobbing.

satoru knew something was off the moment you fell into his embrace, suddenly, tackling him into a hug so desperate it left him reeling. a kind of desperation he isn’t used to, from you.

he knew something was wrong. 

he knew even before he heard it; your choking sobs, those shaky, heaving breaths. muffled into the cotton of his shirt, his uncertain arms around you.

they break his heart.

”hey, hey…” there’s a soothing lilt to his voice, awfully delicate. sweet like molten honey, almost enough to hide the panic. ”what’s wrong?”

satoru holds you to his chest, safe and secure, cradling you protectively. as if shielding you from the world — from whatever or whoever got you like this. as if you’d crumble into dust, otherwise.

he tries to calm down, but his mind is spinning like a broken clock, and your silence doesn’t help. you’re trying to respond; he knows you are, but you just can’t get the words out. any attempts only make you cry harder.

a shake of your head is all he gets — and it’s not much, but satoru’s learned to make a lot out of a little. 

so he continues to hold you, hiding his worry, tucking his anxiety away somewhere you won’t be able to see. he curses, inwardly, grasping blindly for conclusions — for some divine guidance. how is he supposed to deal with this?

(how long has it been since he felt so very useless?)

gentle. that’s the approach he takes, finally, hiding his nervosity. he rocks you back and forth, just a little, like he’s lulling you to sleep; his warm hands finding the small of your back, the back of your head. cradling you so close you hear his rapid heartbeat by your ear.

soothing whispers. murmured into your hair, so soft they seem to melt once they slip from his tongue, all honey and devotion. affection so palpable you taste it in the air, from the breaths he exhales. 

”it’s fine. i’m here, i’m here… i’ve got you.”

he doesn’t know what he’s doing, not really, but it seems to work. because you calm down, after a while, just sniffling into his neck and letting him soothe you. sobs and unstable heaves, turning into whimpers and shaky breaths. clinging to him all the while; so desperate for comfort, for him.

it makes him feel so, so desperate to protect you, to wash every single one of your worries away.

it’s unbearable, this aching desire. like a great, insatiable, unnamed something deep within the caverns of his chest, clawing at his ribcage, snarling and hissing, itching to break out so it can open its maw and devour you both.

(it’s ugly. it’s grotesque. it wants to keep you safe so badly it might kill him for it.)

a coo. sad, dripping with care, a comforting tone that he hopes you’ll find soothing. he smooths his palm down the back of your head, heavy, doting. it hurts so much to see you hurt.

”my baby….” satoru exhales, a little shaky. but he smiles, and he hopes you can hear it, hopes it’ll help mend the pain in your chest. ”what’s got you this upset, hm? you're worrying me, here…”

a broken sniffle. the guilt eats at you, gnaws at your bones, and all you can do is hide away in the crook of his neck. apologizing, your voice no more than a tremor of a breath.

”’m sorry…”

and satoru thinks his heart shatters. he can practically hear the crash, feel the broken, useless little pieces dig into his skin.

his arms travel down to your hips, steady, and he lifts you up. just for a second, just so he can plop down on the floor with you in tow — keeping you snuggled into his neck. seated on his lap with your legs around his waist, like you’re his baby koala.

”shh, it's okay,” he soothes, a grounding rumble of his chest right by your ear. he’s got you enveloped, wrapped up in his buzzing warmth, and all you can feel is him. ”you’re okay. no matter what it is, i'll take care of it, alright? you can rely on me.”

a moment passes. 

satoru clears his throat. nervous, suddenly. ”you know that, right?”

all you can give him is a shaky nod, but it’s enough. he sighs, in palpable relief, still rubbing circles into your back. ”okay,” he sneaks a hand underneath your shirt, tracing little shapes into your bare skin. ”good.”

he isn’t sure how long you spend there, on the floor, entirely focused on comforting you. washing away all your sadness, with every gentle caress, every soothing murmur of there, there… every little stutter of his heartbeat next to yours.

and when you’ve finally calmed down, melting under his touch and into his skin, arms going lax around his neck — satoru takes a breath. collecting himself, so you don’t have to. acting like his heart isn’t still a mess of crushed glass.

”you okay now?” he coos, drawing absentminded hearts into the skin of your back. his voice is teasing, but warm, spilling from his tongue and into your ear. deep and smooth. ”almost gave me a heart attack, baby.”

he feels the way your grip around him tightens, just a smidge, and he hears the weak little breath you draw in. your voice is still shaky, and it makes him want to rearrange the world, stitch those broken vowels back together. 

(he doesn’t like how irrational it is, this insatiable something. how it makes him want to bend the rules of the universe, just to see you smile. a dangerous temptation.)

”i’m sorry,” you croak, clinging to him like a shipwreck to a shore. ”it’s not — not a big deal, ’m just…” 

satoru pulls back. just a little bit, making sure your arms and legs stay in their rightful place, curled around his neck and waist. making sure the two of you stay connected.

then he pinches your cheek.

”don’t apologize,” he quips, a playful frown on his face. soft, a vague furrow of his brows. like he’s scolding you. 

it makes you wince, your eyes downcast. you look so meek. a little like a kicked puppy, glassy eyes glancing up at him in search of comfort.

satoru clicks his tongue. ”and don’t look at me like that, either.” 

he boops your nose, playful, doting, and you exhale weakly. it’s small, more breath than a real laugh, but you’re almost smiling, and —

it’s a start. it’s something.

satoru coos, voice dripping with warmth, sickeningly sweet. it seeps from his fingertips when he cradles your cheek in his palm, rubbing circles into the puffy skin beneath your eyes. there’s a mirth in his own, crinkled at the edges, tucked into that blue shade, something glazed over with pure adoration.

”there’s that smile.” 

he leans forward, closer, to press a kiss against the bridge of your nose, eyelashes fluttering. tickling your skin. you fall further into his embrace and he makes no move to resist, wouldn’t do it even if he physically could. even if he had the strength to let you go.

then he broaches the subject. hesitant. tactful, careful, delicate — he tries to remember how it works. how to handle something fragile. he thinks of those boxes you carried last week, little porcelain cups. heavy in his arms. he thinks of the way you jab his side with your elbow; gentle, always gentle, even though there’s never any need.

he thinks of you, and it all comes easy. that’s how it always goes.

”wanna talk about it?” he asks, softly. fingers treading through your hair, scratching softly at your scalp. it makes you melt, a little. clearing your throat.

”it’s nothing, really,” you mumble, tiny, seeking respite in the warmth that seeps from his body. speaking with a raspy voice, a hoarse throat, all tired out after crying. ”nothing big, anyway…” 

a moment passes, before you continue. ”i guess it's just been a rough week,” you admit, a sigh slipping from your lips, tinged with pure exhaustion. ”just little things piling up. ’m okay now.” 

a hum. satoru clears his throat.

”anything i can do?”

(please let me help.)

but you only shake your head. ”you’ve already done enough,” you assure him, leaning into his touch. ”think i just needed to get it all out, y’know?”

a beat. an itch. satoru holds you tight, a little tighter than he should. gentle, he reminds himself. but he needs you close enough to feel the flutter of your heartbeat, close enough to delude himself that you’ve merged together. closer isn’t close enough.

he gnaws at his bottom lip, teeth sinking into the flesh. pulling words out from the back of his throat, uncertain. ”i’m always here,” he settles on. ”if there’s anything you need, come straight to me. okay?”

a frown plays at your lips. you’re silent, for a while, until he hears you mumble beneath your breath.

”i don’t want to bother you so much, though…”

”— it’s not a bother.”

the words spill into the air, a little more firm than he meant to sound. but he means them.

”i’m serious. if you ever need help, with anything, come find me. i’m yours,” satoru inhales, deep, his chest moving in tune with the breath. you’re carried along with it, as if being lulled to sleep, following the steady pattern of his lungs. 

then he exhales. in, and out, and with it comes a promise. ”if anyone makes you cry, i’ll get rid of them.”

he says it casually, so casually that you assume it’s a joke, a bout of breathless giggles pushing past your lips. the sound has his own curling up, and he doesn’t have the heart to correct you. has enough tact to know that this might not be the best moment to let you know that he’s honestly a little terrified of how far he’d be willing to go to keep you safe and happy. 

but you’re smiling, finally, laughing. and that matters more than anything. when he closes his eyes, he thinks he can even feel the telltale signs that his heart is picking itself back up, gluing jagged shards into a shape that resembles you.

"that's scary!” you gasp, amusement bubbling up inside your throat. ”you’d go to jail for me?”

satoru huffs. ”bold of you to assume i’d get caught,” he tuts, a smug smile on his face. it makes you giggle, again, and he feels like a god.

”okay, okay,”  you nose at his neck, breathing him in, strawberry lotion and laundry detergent filling your senses. ”please don’t kill anyone on my behalf, though.”

”no promises.”

”satoru…”

slowly, steadily, his heart begins to stitch itself together. it helps that you’re there, he thinks. helps that you’re pressed up against him, that you’re holding him, like he’s the safest thing in the world. like you trust him.

(the word tastes like molten honey and luscious berries, sickly-sweet on his tongue. he gulps it down hungrily.)

it’s healing. the weight of your arms around him, the breaths that brush against his neck. he holds you to keep you together, intact, to keep himself together. a shipwreck and a shore — he just isn’t sure which one of you is which. but your jagged edges fit just right with his own.

”i don’t like seeing you cry.”

you blink. gazing up at him, with a contemplative look in your eyes. it melts into something a little too close to guilt for his liking. shame.

”— but i still want you to let me see you like that.” satoru smiles, with a tilt of his head. snowy tufts of hair falling across his face. ”is that weird?”

a moment passes. then you hum.

”no,” you exhale, a little breathless. smiling, somewhat weak, but still enough to have his heart skipping a beat. ”i love that about you, satoru.”

”huh?” he gapes at you — blinking dumbly. ”love what? that i want to see you sob into my chest?”

”that you try,” you stifle a yawn, sleepily nuzzling into him, all tuckered out from crying. ”even when it makes you a little uncomfortable.”

satoru stills. 

silence fills the space between you. there’s nothing more to say. his tongue isn’t really cooperating with him, anyhow — all tied up. so he leaves a kiss on the top of your head, and doesn’t say a word about the tremor running through his chest. 

he hates seeing you cry. hates how powerless it makes him feel, how useless. hates the fact that he can’t always protect you from the world, from himself.

but you let him see you like that.

he thinks of your tears, crystalline and glassy, like translucent marbles on a summer shore — and sees the trust instead of the sorrow. he thinks of your tearstained face, meek and feeble, and knows it’ll always be enough to break his heart to pieces. 

he thinks of you, and tells himself that it’s worth it; just as long as he gets to bring that pretty little smile back to life. 

[neonfretra]

HOW MANY WORDS IN THE SHRIMER?????

HELLO. on a joke about 60k word works. i may have raised the question on how many words our 261.7 mb, 9 slideshow long baby has. (see here! please check it out? feel free to skip to the parts and players that seem the most interestin to you ^_^)

DISCLAIMER: i did NOT find out that answer

heres what i think makes up the word count:

the actual text written in the slides

the alt text embed into the images on the slides (thank you oensible!)

the image descriptions written SEPARATELY for the tumblr (thank you puckpocketed!): a special case because this isnt even done yet oh my god

the references written in APA citation (thank you AGAIN oensible!)

(wording would imply i contributed to the text on the slides. fear not! i didnt <3 i did do a bit of the citation work though!)

a copy of the references themself is also stored separately on a behemoth google doc that sits at a computer lagging 252 pages and 74014 words.

so. we already knocked that 60k word goal out of the park

for anyone curious, i was copy + pasting the citations from the slides LOL

i do NOT know how many individual references we used but know the total amount of resources read is actually greater LMAO so much cut content

i tried copy pasting the transcripts of our recap and staff slide deck over on our tumblr. which was a bit imperfect because the transcripts did have additional notation not on the slides (but i DID type those out by hand, NOT including additional formatting fixes. so. to the unique words typed counter!)

(also excluded the headers of each post)

this clocks us in at 14723 words over 43 slides (references kick this number up to 19294 words!!! holy cow) HOWEVER. its very important to note that this rate is NOT going to look consistent over the course of the entire slide show.

the recap slides sits at 43 slides/27.8 mb while the captain slides (thank you oensible AGAIN... jesus christ) sits at 40 slides/52 mb. this is a combination of more densely packed slides with text and images and videos, all which will boost our word count even MORE

additionally tried ctrl+f " " on our largest slide deck (the forwards at a healthy 56 mb) which is NOT a complete read of our word count (the amount of spaces in a single paragraph is one less than the total word count. so thats one dropped letter multiplied by god knows how many paragraphs over 51 slides) to get a total count of 24412 spaces, which is. AGAIN. less than our total word count because this counts text in slides and references but NOT alt text or image descriptions

(keep in mind again that our first slide was at 19294 words with just over half the file size. these slides do not increase in word count at a consistent rate)

there are 3 total slides over 50 mb.

if anyone wants to find out the total word count BE MY GUEST...

[aanylah-101]

ZDINARSK HEADCANONS FULL PACK

FULL PACK OF ZDINARSK HEADCANONS AND CANONS

Enjoy Angels! 🕊🤍

HUMAN FORM HEADCANON

I don't have much to say about this but when Quaritch is watching the video of himself or his little memory card you can see a woman getting In of a link unit, here's the conversation, I got this off a website where I watch the movie so I will depict everything from what the subtitles say

Human Quaritch; "You're a recom now, Colonel..."

Human Quaritch; "Loaded with my memories and my charm"

Human Quaritch; "What you won't remember is my death...because It hasn't happened yet, and it aint gonna"

Lyle; "Damn right" 

Possibly Zdinarsk; "Hell yeah"

NOW I THINK this HAS to be Zdinarsk, why? Here's the second conversation, this is when Tysireya calls an ilu that's swimming by and swims away on it, and then the POV goes back up to Quaritch, Zdinarsk, Mansk, Kiri, & ofc Tuk.

Quaritch; "We can still get this done"

Zdinarsk; "Hell yeah" 

LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THATS NOT ZDINARSK oh right! YA CANT

GUM CHEWING / EMOTIONAL EATING & EMOTIONAL EATER

So a while ago I saw something where there was a headcanon about how Zdinarsk chews gum as a way to calm herself down? And how she's an emotional eater, I actually love this one and credits to @roxynmae & @fictionsonmymind for this since they're like 10000% responsible for it. 

HEADCANON LINK <333

Here's an Idea! How about with her being an emotional eater she eats what she feels y'know? Maybe a sad food for her could be like something soft or simple to eat. Like soup or oatmeal, something like that! 

I looked this up afterward and look-

Maybe a food for when she's angry could be maybe a hot food, not steaming but not warm either. 

Maybe she chews her gum hard sometimes when she can't get to crunchy or tough foods,

Z being an emotional eater suits her, and her liking sweet things is cool too. She most likely chews her gum so that way she has a way to calm herself and maybe something to keep her busy. 

Also, her having anxiety could be a possibility, maybe she gets jittery so chewing gum maybe overwhelms the feeling that she has to move around.

ADHD maybe???

I can relate because when taking my state test or whatever It's called I couldn't stay still when sitting down for nearly 4-5 hours. Sure most wouldn't like that but trust me the person behind me was probably so p!ssed with me moving every 5 seconds lmao. 

Later on I did fall asleep and woke back up when testing was over,

ZDINARSKS FIRST NAME / NICKNAME

Once again this was inspired by a post I saw with headcanons/canons of the recom's names

I sadly lost the @ for this headcanon but If I find them I will update this and put their user! 

CREDIT LINK BASE - INCOMPLETE 

 like her first name! It's cute and her name has a meaning in Arabic! 

COPY AND PASTED! 

Origin: Arabic. Meaning:Date palm; date. Tamara is a feminine Arabic name meaning "date palm" or "date." Derived from the Biblical name Tamar meaning "date" or "palm tree," this sweet moniker is symbolic of the beauty and fruitfulness associated with this tree.

She is definitely fruity alright lol, for nicknames she already has 2. 

Z-dog and just Z 

Z-dog is clearly heard when Lyle is telling reassuring him his squad by their names, 

Z is heard near the end of the movie, 

Lyle tells Z to go to another part of the ship.

She looks so pretty In this scene to omfg 

TATTOOS

This one is confirmed completely so this is canon!

Zdinarsk has many colorful tattoos on her arms, neck, and chest. They include:

A chimera on her neck.

An eagle on her back with the Latin motto "AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" which means "conquer or die". It also has the number 33 which is known as an "angel number" that calls for people to cleanse their life and mind of negativity.

Her right arm has a skeleton reaper on the bottom and an angel on the top.

Her left arm has a snake wrapped around a skull with "DEATHLESS" on it. The bottom portion is the most difficult to interpret as it looks very Hindu in nature with many strange symbols.

+

CONCEPT DESIGN

On the ATWOW fandom website on Zdinarsks page there is an art gallery of her character design

There is also another concept design, I believe It was called the art of avatar book. 

Ok so from the OG design of Zdinarsk, her tattoos didn't change, but something very noticeable is that

She has cargo military pants but In her approved design she has shorts instead. She acuatually changed pants 3 times in the movie, when she is first seen you can see her in the mirror when Quaritch first wakes up she has on the same pants as everyone else, it has Project Phoneix on the side but shortened to Phnx I think.

Also with this design she has a hat, sunglasses, I LOVE how her sunglasses sit on top of her hat it's so cute.

In the second concept design photo her shirt is shorter than the first concept photo and her official design,

she has on gloves as well, And for some who didn't know Walker has gloves attached to her pants as equipment, cute detail right?

In the trivia section of her page, It says that James Cameron asked for her to look like this! 

So there it is! Zdinarks hair is a mohawk!! I never minded her hair but something to know Is that the Na'vi DO NOT have those fades you have when getting a buzz cute or etc, but Quaritch does? 

ANGER ISSUES

So It was silently agreed that Zdinarsk had anger issues, but when she is angry she will never take it out on people purposely. I'd like to imagine that when Quaritch started swinging after he woke up Z was worried about him. The conversation:

Lab lady; "Get security!"

Zdinarsk; "Grab him!" 

IN THIS PART THERE IS SO MUCH RUKUS IM NOT CONFIRMING THIS FAR DOWN!

Zdinarsk; "Put him down!" OR "Hold him down!"

Zdinarsk; "Colonel! Calm down!"

She sounded so worried and scared when he started swinging, and how when Quaritch said he was alright she was the second to let him and before losing contact completely. 

A mini side-note is when Quaritch goes to punch his ikran, when he fell Spider, Lyle, Alexzander (or brown), & Zdinarsk were the first to run to the edge of the cliff

"Thats becuase everyone was farther back"

I DONT GIVE AF IT EVEN SAYS IN HER PROFILE THAT SHE WAS A LOYAL SOLIDER WHO STUCK BESIDE HIM SHE CARESSS

SEXUALITY & GENDER

Everyone knows Z HAS to be gay, I mean LOOK AT HER 

Definitely Lesbain, I would say Masc but I don't see that part in her honestly. 

Maybe Alpha lesbain? heres the meaning -->

COPY & PASTED FROM WEBSITE 

Top of the lesbian food chain and don't they know it! With their razor-sharp jawlines, and buckets of s$x appeal, alphas manage to turn heads wherever they go.

Of course, this is just ‼️another massive stereotype‼️. And while it might seem that alphas have been blessed with a gift from the gods, truth is, anybody can be an alpha.

The secret to being an alpha is confidence. There is nothing more attractive than someone who's comfortable in their own skin and knows what they want.

WEBSITE- FR CHECK THIS SITE OUT ITS COOL 

IKRAN DESIGN & COLOR 

I found images of Z's Ikran ITS RAINBOW!!!

I LOVE this detail! You can't tell me she's straight now

RELATIONSHIPS & DATING

This has 2 sections so enjoy yourself 

TOXIC RELATIONSHIP 

If Z was ever In this situation I feel like depending on who the person was or how she felt about them she would either be p!ssed off and be like "Whatever btch" and just push that person away. Or she would maybe be sad about how the person becomes different and she gets sad. 

THINGS NOT WORKING OUT 

Zdinarsk would completely understand, she would maybe still ask If you two could be friends though or check up on the person. BUT If you are being difficult she won't care.

For example, If you are going through something and refuse to let her help you (and let others help you) she would get mad and try her best to help you but If you are pushing her away continuously she might just break up with you or grow distant. 

You better PRAY to ewya btch that she doesn't start talking to somebody else cuz If she does you can kiss her goodbye. If she even lets you lmao 

(Hope this isn't to toxic...)

Thats kinda it lol

Last thing I wanna say about Zdinarsk is her body shape and the way she looks, she is so beautiful and pretty. Like look at her body view

+

I want to touch her thighs respectfully

Thank you for reading! And credit and sm love to the people I took Inspo from <333

This was so fun to make and I'm not even done talking about her

Friends; @dyingofcookies @multiversebaddie

[celestie0]

Hello!! I wanted to ask some advice 😞 I have a fic idea but I've never posted any writing before and its like a very very specific band au and I'm scared no one will care to read it because of how much music context it requires 😭 I really admire your writing so like...what do you suggest...

(Also super excited for next kickoff ! I've never been this invested in a fic)

hii my love!! omg a band au sounds like so much funnn are you kiddinggg i would eat that UPPP. my advice would be to just go ahead n write it!!! it's super nervewracking to share work, especially if you've never shared before, so for the time being you can just write w the idea that no one else will read it except for yourself! that'll help you establish a healthy relationship w your writing & your hobby in general even before you post should you choose to post

as for the specificity n music context, i personally think thats SO FUCKIN RAD!!! i love a story where i can enjoy a romance but also have aspects outside of it that i can learn something new from or take something away from. i have read some pretty incredible fics & books, but the ones that have always had a lasting impact on me are the ones i went into knowing nothign ab a specific something, but then i leave it feeling like i've learned something i wouldn't have ever known before!!

it's a totally valid feeling though, esp in fanfiction where you might think readers want to read ab only their fave characters or specifically romance. i felt this way a lot with including the film major & photography aspect to kickoff, i feared readers would find it boring and would just want to read ab gojo x reader. i think in ch9, gojo only had like 40% of the chapter screentime and didn't even make his first appearance until like 5k words into the chapter, but i'm still really happy w the chapter and the response i got was great too. i see some of my writer mutuals break the norms n experiments w their stories all the time too, and honestly, i think that makes for some of the BEST and most MEMORABLE stories :)

as for fears that people may not see your story, i totally get that. keep in mind, i think the jjk fandom specifically doesn't really have too many long fics, at least compared to what i've seen in other fandoms, n tends to steer towards oneshot content (i could be wrong ab this but it's just what i've noticed! at least on tumblr. long fics always get lots of love on ao3 tho) so don't worry too much if you're not getting as many notes or reblogs etc as some other authors, bc if you choose to post series content, then you'll technically be in a niche category for this specific fandom. BUT i have noticed that the quality of interactions w longer stories is very amazing and totally worth being a part of this writing community for that reason!!

when i first started posting, i really didn't know what to expect since the last time i had a fanfic blog was for like two months when i was 12 on deviantart LOL. and now i'm just extremely blown away n humbled by the support. but that's the thing- you'll never ever know unless you try! again, just write and picture it that you're the only one that's going to read it, so put all that juicy music context in there n really write w that passion in mind!! (i'm assuming you're into music or bands n that's your inspiration? don't be afraid to let that interest show!!) and that's really the only thing you need to get started, after that it's just simply copy pasting n then posting :)

if you do get around to posting or sharing it then feel free to tag me bb!! i'd love to read it n support you. good luck to u n much love!! <33 i hope this helps in anyway

and thank you for looking forward to kickoff :)

ps. in case you want any specific writing advice i have some on my page here (sorry bb i just realized i wasn't sure if you were asking for actual concrete writing advice haha my bad if i misinterpreted)

[raveneira]

Stop Lyin

'KawaSara fans just want everything to just be Naruto 2.0, they dont want anything new or different they only ship it cuz its like SS'

The same mfs sayin that:

Stfu, the only ones your fooling are yourselves, your just fine with Naruto 2.0, but only for the ships YOU want canon.

'B-but their a mix of multiple OG ships not just one so its different!'

Thats even WORSE, it makes them the most unoriginal ship and just a weird amalgamation of OG ships with nothing of their own, their just NaruHina, MinaKushi, ItaIzu, ObiRin, NaruSaku, SasuSaku, SasuNaru etc all over again, but yea you sure showed us about wanting 'originality' lol

And just to burst your bubble even more, your not special, and your point is invalid anyway because I didnt hear nothin about 2.0 in OG Naruto when these were happening but NOW suddenly its an issue.

But now suddenly its a problem, back then yall called it 'parallels' and 'foreshadowing' but for some reason conveniently when its KawaSara and BoruSumi suddenly its Naruto 2.0 and we need something different than past dynamics

BUT YALL HAD NONE OF THAT ENERGY WHEN NS WAS COPY AND PASTE OBIRIN/JIRATSUNA

NONE OF THAT ENERGY WHEN SS WAS JUST KAKARIN/DANTSUNA

NONE OF THAT ENERGY WHEN NH WAS JUST INVERTED MINAKUSHI

But god forbid KawaSara is just a little too much like SS or BoruSumi a little too much like NH, but Bsa being like [in your words not mine] literally every past OG ship is totally fine and the pinnacle of originality you all wanna see from the sequel, give me a danm break lol

What makes this even more pathetic is that Im not even exaggerating, they've gotten so blatantly hypocritical their even trying to use the Minato one-shot as foreshadowing for Bsa, keep in mind these are the same people who claim to want something new and different, are using a one shot set in the past for an OG ship that happened WAY before Bsa even existed all because of the vortex symbolism and the sequel just happened to have the name vortex in it they think its some kind of parallel/foreshadowing for the pair...which is utterly ridiculous but this aint the post for that, but just friendly reminder the Shippuden in the Naruto sequel meant Hurricane chronicles/legends and the Uzumaki clan has always been symbolized with whirlpools/vortex way before Boruto was even thought of, hell their clan symbol is a literal swirl like a vortex...nuff said, this aint the post to delve deeper into that.

Im mentioning this purely to point out the hypocrisy of wanting something 'different' yet using every possible OG thing thats even remotely similar to boost your ship and show how canon it is, yet KawaSara and BoruSumi cant because then its Naruto 2.0.

Their newest thing lately I've been seein the most is that BoruSara is like MinaKushi and NaruHina because Sarada stalks Boruto etc, so I thought I'd bring this reality check back since these same ppl talkin about other shippers just wanting Naruto 2.0 again.

Like I said, the only ones your foolin are yourselves cuz nobody buys your bs cuz everytime yall pull that card you put your foot in your mouth with all these 'parralels' that are suddenly ok now, but NOT ok when its any of your rival ships . Sit down.

PS: This aint the post to go into this either, but like I mentioned earlier that Bsa is actually the most unoriginal new gen ship, I could literally make a separate post showing how that is and how KawaSara and BoruSumi are actually the more unique ships of the options. You may have noticed I havent mentioned Ksu at all in this...thats because its a joke atp that I nor anybody besides their shippers take seriously, but if I must address it its literally just poorly done SS and SH with a dash of SK so why would I even bother with such a joke of a ship that exists solely to play keep away for Bsa but not because theres any legitimate basis in canon and thrives purely off headcanon and Hondas rewriting of events that amounted to nothing because, shocker, the manga wasnt building anything between them, so Honda created a completely made up foundation for nothing that they scrapped immediately and never acknowledged it again. So much for 'the anime is the complete version of the manga' yea funny how they backtracked alot of their mistakes when they saw the manga contradicting it, cuz at the end of the day the manga is the MAIN source material, so what happens there is more canon than anything the anime does afterwards.

[fixfoxnox]

Can’t stop thinking some ideas that popped up in my head last night for the Camboy/streamer AU because i was working late and needed something to keep me sane

- Roach being a smaller streamer and announced he would be having a Subathon and Ghost accidentally (it was not an accident, he’s a simp) donated him too much money and now poor roach has 72 hours worth of stream time mere minutes after he started streaming, he didn’t expect to go that long nor actually getting that much money in one sitting (literally he just sat down) and he’s sitting there frozen in place because why did Ghost, THE GHOST donated so much money, he asks if it was an accident and he would gladly return the money if it was, and ghost who has never spoken in chat before revealed that nope; he’s just…supportive of smaller streamers ( a huge roach simp)

- Roach found out that Ghost/Soap follows his spicy twitter (works for OF too but i have no idea how OF works lol) so he puts on their merch and may have had a little TOO much fun with his photo shoots and his little uh…spicy Video may have accidentally gone viral in the Ghost/Soap community and people are FREAKING OUT, there’s copy cats for other streamers too and Roach almost gets a heart attack one morning when #dicksfortwitchstreamers goes viral and a censored version of his tweet was the top post on the Top twitter Page

Some smaller stuff that i couldnt see fitting in the AU

- Soap convincing Ghost (or vice versa) to join a dating show online, and he someone chooses someone that to the community is really toxic and only joined the game to gain popularity, and while Ghost has no intention of getting to know the person, it didn’t stop roach from absolutely SLAMMING the ever living fuck out of the person in his alt account, and for a bit of Angst, add roach in that dating show too and Ghost turns him down out of pure shyness cause he couldn’t even talk to Roach nor look at him in the eyes without going beet red

- Roach, Ghost and Soap in a compilation together, thats how they found out about him, could be for a video titled “Streamers with Thich accent” or “Cutest Twitch Couples (and its of Jackson and Roach / Price and Gaz/Ghost and Soap of course)”

Now on to the “Ghost is reborn but due not wanting to pursue the same career becomes a streamer instead” streamer/camboy AU

- found Roach by accident while going through the COD tag, Roach is playing the game for the first time and he goes into the stream just as Roach gets shot and he almost goes into cardiac arrest when he hears Roach scream (I know Roach didn’t say anything but lets pretend he did) he actually had to go to the hospital for his panic attack though, doctors still trying to convince him he doesn’t have PTSD (yeah right u fucks)

- as much as ghost wants to ignore this Roach in favour of trying to convince his own roach to join him, there’s just something about the idea of letting go of the past and continuing to live in a universe in which both of them would find comfort and happiness with the same people they once knew

- on one of Roach’s chill stream he mentions he would like to get a tattoo one day, he’s deadly afraid of needles though, maybe he’ll get one if someone holds his hands though :> this is when their friendship had blossomed quite a bit so Ghost goes to his chat to say he would hold his hands, in any universe (and he will never let it go, never)

Reading the top part: 🥰

Getting down to the Ghost remembers part: 🥲😭

I love the idea of Ghost justgetting so hasty to donate to Roach that he

A) Donates way too much without thinking and

B) Forgets to switch to his alt account when he does it sjjdjfjfjfj

I can just see chat losing their mind and Roach is just staring at the screen completely frozen and when Ghost gives his stressed excuse of "I just like to support smaller streamers" within a week people are calling him out like "You've never donated to anyone else 🤨" and he just refuses to address what happened shshshsh

Stealing the Roach dressing in their merch for some of his content idea because YES

It would happen later in the au and he finds out but can't get them to admit it so he starts doing things like that to try to send hints/get them to confess and he's like "Oh I'm sorry I just grabbed something 😇" and when the video goes viral he can literally see Ghost and Soap struggling lmao

Bonus points if he's in the room with them when they find the video on Twitter and gets to watch them have a meltdown while trying not to show it AH

Also I literally have to write the compilation idea as a non-canon oneshot now. I already love Ghost and Soap being jealous of Jackson cause he's in all the videos, but if they think Roach and Jackson are dating before they ever find his content? Then fall for him while thinking they're dating??? THE DRAMA! THE JEALOUSY!

I can just imagine like a video comes out of Jackson somewhere kissing someone or something (just like a fun one time thing for him) and Ghost and Soap are royally pissed on behalf of Roach and even more pissed when Roach posts another video with Jackson. They think Jackson managed to convince Roach to stay with him and they end up making a bunch of passive aggressive tweets about it or something

Drama channels are eating it up and when Roach realizes the tweets are about Jackson he's pissed because that's his best friend tf? JUST THE CONCEPT MAN AH

Also adore the internet dating show idea so much like I can just see Ghost getting to the end with Roach and this other person and he chooses the other person cause he's too nervous to get any further with Roach.

Roach is absolutely heartbroken but he's still like "well I want him to be happy and have a good date" then the video of Ghost and this other person's date comes out and its so clear that there had to be HEAVY editing done to make it seem even slight normal and even with the editing everyone can tell that this other person was bring a bit of a dick to Ghost.

The internet is pissed, naturally, and Roach literally goes radio silent on his main account, but is making the most insane rants on his alt account about how shit this person was and how he (Roach) would have never treated Ghost like that. He literally ends up getting his act account banned from the other persons twitch chat because he is in there cyber bullying to the max.

A few months later when the other persons internet career has essentially failed and gone stagnant, when someone asks him about it on chat the clip of his smug and way too satisfied reaction goes viral ajdjdjjd

For Ghost Remembering Specifically:

God the idea of him getting so excited to find Roach only to immediately have to deal with a PTSD trigger just...oh man. And you know that he probably ended up taking time off from streaming and everything for a bit after and was essentially just dealing with the sudden memories and rise of paranoia and anxiety on his own. Soap helps a bit but he doesn't understand and Ghost doubts he would believe him if he did tell him. God...I feel so bad for him man.

He tried to stay away from Roach's stream but after another conversation with SiTO Roach he just needs to see him. He just needs to see a version of the man he loved being happy and not weighed down by what happened. Roach's streams quickly turn from a trigger for him into a form of comfort to come down from things. If he can see that Roach is happy and alive it helps him work through everything.

With the tattoo thing 😭 I know when they eventually get together they do go get a matching tattoo and within like two weeks there are compilations of Ghost touching the tattoo when he gets nervous or stressed or just needs to calm down.

I also had an idea for Ghost who remembers: he gets like invited to do one of those streamer fights things against a super toxic streamer and he says no cause like...he has a whole life of military experience that he's actually kept up with training wise and he is not going to put someone through it. Then the other streamer makes a video or something shit talking and Ghost is still like insisting he's not going to do it even when his community is pissed. Roach doesn't understand why he's so against it but supports him and ends up like briefly mentioning the situation on one of his streams.

That clip of Roach talking about it and very kindly dissing the toxic streamer goes viral and the toxic streamer responds with yet another video shit talking Ghost, but this time he fucks up and brings Roach into it. Ghost sees the video and see's this Toxic streamers wanna be alpha male community shitting on Roach and he gets pissed. Though he doesn't want to rise to taunts, you absolutely do not fuck with his bug and get away with it. He calls the people back and says he's changed his mind if they still want him to do it.

Naturally he absolutely sweeps the floor with and humiliates the other streamer

GUYS I LOVE THE STREAMER/CAMBOY AU

[terraliensvent]

You seem like a really non-biased and heartfelt person running this blog. I appreciate your honesty with every reply, it’s very commendable.

My time in the terra server has been confusing to say the least. I thoroughly enjoy it, and yet at least once a day something that strikes as off putting will happen. I am not one to vent, nor post on blogs like this, but, with the trial mods out there’s something on my mind that I just can no longer hold within. I am beyond, overly uncomfortable with Xiao being a trial mod.

This make strike weirdly, but I don’t seem them as a face, nor representative of how Terras should be. They are cold, unemotional, biased, and overall picky. They ignore you when they feel like it (and, apologies if I am misgendering, I do not know their pronouns at the time), and only talk to their friends; the staff, or anyone with “good art”.

It sucks? Because, I wanted to be their friend and they ultimately shoved me away. Maybe I am a little petty, but I just do not find their presence as a trial mod welcoming. It honestly makes me feel a little, no, very afraid to talk.

So, I’d like to know your opinion? On Xiao? What should I do? Can I even do anything??

i really appreciate the kind words anon, i try my best to give my genuine viewpoints, as i think a lot of owners of blogs like these can be too disconnected from their topic and it feels out of touch imo

on to the topic at hamd

i dont interact much in the server on a personal level anymore after the whole blowout with architechals, but what i will say is that i am never really too fond of the picks for staff

i wanna use bear and pokii as an example, since during that situation in the callout thread, they were incredibly heinous toward former mod milo (who i actually really liked, they were super down to earth and friendly), and that combined with the behavior exhibited by bear toward ponyzilla, like how can you clearly copy a design you offered on in the past and act like theres no similarity whatsoever

anyways

i dont know much about xiao (besides the fact i have them blocked lol, i guess they annoyed me at some point) but if your character assessment is true to your experience then i think thats pretty on par with how terra staff is in general. cliquey, disconnected, and cold unless youre someone they want to be associated with for clout.

for you specifically anon, id say keep talking how you want to, xiao seems like a person who really isnt the best to be friends with in your case, and if you find yourself being cut off or talked over or pushed aside by them in the public chat, i would politely but sternly point it out. people really love to ignore stuff like that in terras because you arent one of the elite staff members who everyone wants to talk to, but you deserve respect as well.

so in short, maybe stop trying to be friends with xiao and focus more on the friendships youre already cultivating, and dont be afraid to stick up for yourself if you feel yourself being pushed away from public spaces. terras has a lot of mob mentality and often will let things slide in fear of rocking the boat. if you feel yourself being unwelcomed by a member of staff, stand your ground and collect screenshots. if you get brushed aside, it just helps you build more of a case in the event that it becomes too overwhelming to even be in the same spaces as them

[kudzucataclysm]

SE CHARACTER INQUIRIESSS

from yesterday :D im putting them all together, hope y'all dont mind if i tag peeps who asked

for @vacantgodling

JACK JA (ppl pronounce ‘JA’ as ‘JAW’ for some reason so it stuck)

Antumbra assassin and cleaner who was one of the many contract children that was paid to the organization (totally not slavery btw) by his parents to settle a debt. He isn’t unique by all means Antumbra wise, but he is recognized as one of its most efficient assassins

At the age of 12 he was hired by the Slaughter family to be the bodyguard of Vincent. At the time being two mutant closeted trans children was extremely rough, so the two confided in each other. Vince more or less taught him how to be an actual person and not just a killing machine

OTHER FACTS THATRE NOT HISTORY- he is a romantic at heart and treats Vincent all lady like when they go on those weird totally-not-dates

babysat Francis a few times in the past and honestly. Wouldve probably been a good influence on Frank if Francis didn’t have that weird nigh-obsessive attachment to Vince at the time :/

Loves candy and is a connoisseur of baked goods

Main weapons of choice are a pair of kukri knives

His mutation is purely physical, it simply gives him a reptilian appearance and some physiology (cant handle cold weather, somewhat amphibious, venomous, etc). He has a tail but he keeps cutting it off everytime it grows back because he doesn’t wanna go through the process of modifying his pants for it

TUGARIN

Basically an old work friend of Carmine when they both worked for the Soviet Union. While Carmine was blackmailed into working for them Tugarin at the time was a fully fledged Russian patriot who believed in Soviet supremacy

The economic and socio-political chaos in the aftermath of 1953 (that coincided with the Martian titanomachy) kinda fueled this, and the US becoming extremely isolationist while increasing superpowered espionage didn’t help either. His increasingly erratic behavior, suspected to be a result from his uncontrolled psychic powers, got him blacklisted by the Soviet government.

At some point after Carmine escaped to the US, Tugarin tried to undergo a similar surgery but the Soviets instead took his brain, which is still considered the 2nd most powerful on Earth. They used his brain to operate the country’s nuclear defense system; after 1962 he was ‘shut down’ due to instability and the uh..fact that HE is the one who launched nukes at the US lol

He’s still operating as the defense system but his subconscious is effectively sealed away…FOR NOW HUEHUEHUEHUE

for @muddshadow

AGENT HAMMOND

AAAAAAA

The first android to exist, EVER. he was activated in November 1905- he shares a birthday with Desmond!!!

Very stoic and seemingly emotionless but thats not really the case; he lacks empathy but is very much capable of sympathy.

He and Lupe ‘met’ in 1923 when she was assigned as his new operator. He’s been attached ever since, theyre BFF5EVAR

He raised and trained Agent Friday, Francis’s former adoptive parent. Is somewhat unaware of their reference of him but still kinda sees them as a surrogate kid of sorts. Would still kill Friday if he has to

Trans but in a robot way. He was built to be feminine and such but he eventually asked Lupe for a new body, which is his current one! He gave his old body away to someone else :)

TECHNICALLY has kids???? In the ‘AI can self replicate/make copies of themselves’ way?????????? Hobbes is by all means a lesser Hammond but Ham just doesn’t see it that way (nor does he like thinking abt it)

Is very much anti-alien in a pragmatic sort of thought process- he was programmed to protect humanity and the biggest threat to humanity right now is…Mars. And Martians just kinda running around eating and killing whoever they want irritates the fuck out of him so he kills them when he can. He’s one of the most OP characters in the story 

^will still kill humans if his hand is forced. 

ORION

Francis’s cousin!!! And a King Martian who is currently hurtling through space at like 40,000kph. He’s not having fun rn

Definition of spoiled and entitled, benefiting his nature as a King.

When he’s introduced he crashlands in rural Japan without a body so he’s forced to parasitize a middle school bully, which is how he befriends a human girl named Rei (bully’s former victim). He hates having a human body tho cuz he doesn’t like the nosebleeds and headaches he gets from using his space powers (also weak flesh suit). He gets a new body eventually tho

He’s here on earth for��some reason!!! He hit his head pretty damn hard on the way here but he knows he’s gotta warn somebody!!! About…something. Maybe

He’s also on Earth to escape an arranged marriage how embarrassing

THE VEIL

Technically by all means the THIRD Veil- the first one was in 1930, the second was in the 1970s, and both former Veils are retired. "The Veil” is basically the corporate/government poster child for American superheroes. He’s on all kinds of propaganda posters

Have you ever heard of Shaun King. yeah, basically him (monetizing social justice for personal gain)

On the surface, he's affable, modest, and sincere; an American treasure. Personally he’s disturbed, incredibly brutal and aggressive, using his charisma to sway the DUSA’s perception of government-hired mutants- who’re deserving of rights and freedom, unlike those unlicensed, criminal mutant types

Basic superhero powers, very much akin to superman’s super strength, speed, and flight

and finally for @zindagi-toh-bewafa-hai

CARMINE

Former Volkssturm paramilitary, aka *proto-Nazi. He spent much of his early life fighting communists up until the outbreak of superpowers in 1934, where he underwent self combustion during a firefight and went MIA

He resurfaced in Siberia a couple years later working for the USSR for reasons unknown, and this is when he underwent surgery to be fused with a nanite network. He’s effectively immortal because of this which is why even though in present day he’s 88, he looks to be somewhere around 50 years old

He’s Carson’s  grandpa even though his ‘son in law’ Carnegie disagrees since Carson by all means is a clone. 

He used to know Lupe!! Back when she was dating USSR superhero Veronika lol

*he uh. Isn’t as racist and prejudiced as he used to be, but still somewhat right-wing when it comes to politics and social issues. He would’ve voted for George Bush in 2000 but would hate Trump is what i’m saying. He still says racist/homophobic shit from time to time but by the time he reconnects with his (very much half-asian) granddaughter he’s…trying. Or at least trying to try lol

AZELFAFAGE

Francis’s dad and ultra powerful alien space sorcerer king >:D Has thousands of kids but Frank and Oz are the most important *shoves all the other kids away*

Was the one who spearheaded the plan with his brothers to kill his dad Aldebaran, and…actually got Lupe to assist him in the titanomachy?? HMMM WHAT HAPPENED THERE

Hates humanity by proxy; his dad basically nuked most of Martian history and culture becuz of his reverence of Earth so Azel’s pride is kinda hurt cuz of it…”WHATS SO GOOD ABT HUMANS?? WE ARE FAR SUPERIOR!!”

While he comes off as just…’stupid’/absentminded and just sex-hungry he’s actually highly intelligent and charismatic. Like if he WANTED to, he’d get rid of humans entirely but he hasn’t- he recognizes his people’s needs and is absolutely willing to subjugate humanity for his planet. Dont assume he’s empathetic tho; he’s still extremely power hungry and self centered.

HATES WOMEN BUT ALSO DOESN’T??? Expresses himself femininely but actively oppresses the female martian population as a form of population control which is hilarious to me. He’s above gender but also Isn’t

Once he meets Francis and realizes that she’s Oz’s twin, Azel immediately deems her the favorite child LMAO. he’s still transphobic as shit towards her tho and refers to her as his ‘son’, which she hates

DIVORCED

Drama queen and will faint at the slightest inconvenience and will throw tantrums

LUPE

*ahem ahem* THE MOST POWERFUL PSYCHIC IN THE WORLD AND TWICE SAVIOR OF HUMANITY, DR LUPE ALTENA!!!!

Has always been into computers and robots, so getting to work on an early Hammond was a dream come true for her. She’s the one who streamlined his coding/android model and mass produced them, and so she’s considered the ‘mother’ of all robots and androids

Before her ADP infection she was considered super goofy and passionate, very much a gremlin

Due to the infection + parasitic eye she’s functionally immortal and sort of trapped in her own mind/body. She LOOKS 48 but in present day she’s 97 years old- the infection has progressed to the point of dementia and due to PSYCHIC BRAIN SHENANIGANS she is no longer ‘LUPE’. So theres the empty shell of Lupe and theres the astral projection Lupe who’s still very much sane and Present but not really. Astral Lupe is busy time traveling rn and shell Lupe disappeared 15 years before the start of the story so go ahead and play the Twilight Zone theme song

Lupe has ALWAYS been aware of/involved with Dez’s existence, and ever since he was born she made him the heir to, well, everything (the city of Necropolis itself and all android technology). Too bad he’s absolutely unaware of this and his relation to her lol. Cringe fail aunt activity

HONEST TO GOD doesn’t wanna kill all the martians but her increasing neurological issues had Hammond take things into his own hands so while HE says she came up with the Grand Plan its honestly a case of unreliable narration; they were the only two in the room when this conversation happened so WHO KNOOOWWS

ULYSSES

Not much to say about her? She’s the current leader of Antumbra and by association is one of the greatest assassins in the world. However its a hokage type situation where she just does a lot of paperwork and deskwork

Always sleepy. She’s so fucking sleepy ong she can sleep anywhere anytime

Martin’s mom but is largely absent in the physical affection/parenting department. She still loves him tho!!

Tries her best to stay a neutral party as a major figurehead of the League by staying out of shit but honestly it could be argued that this makes the politics of the League more complicated

[trenchcoatsbi]

heya! back again, this time to request a playlist! i’d love for it to have a really comfortable vibe, maybe with some songs similar to jack johnson’s work or, hell, stuff like the kingdom dance from tangled? indie folk music is good, too! anything you feel fits, go for it. take care! -🌾🪶

I went ahead and did this a bit ago tho I held off on posting cause i didn’t know if Tommy was working on one too or not. But uh I’ve thoroughly driven my friends mad with my ramblings while I was putting this together and I think they’d legit kill me if I didn’t post this at all. I didn’t want to put too much stuff on these cause after a bit it was just starting to really look like i copied and pasted MY phil playlist but yeah comfy music is my jam especially indie folk type stuff or like fantasy-ish instrumentals :D! I probably could've leaned more folksy but uh I mainly listen to folk punk and I have a feeling you wouldn't want that on your playlist haha. most of it isn't exactly comforting in the way I was going for with this one anyway

Art used on the cover can be found here! And uh I have rambling under the cut its some more music recommendations and me going bonkers

Hope you enjoy phil! -za

OKAY okay so home from the undertale soundtrack was added mostly on accident but it kinda worked and my friends bullied me into keeping it. pay back for me going bonkers in their dms and forcing them to vc with me so i could play music at them probably lol

I was gonna add Bruno Major his stuff felt too modern [if that makes sense] for the playlist so i didn’t add him but his music just is a vibe! Nothing and Home are some of my favorites from him.

The Head and The Heart got cut (along with a bunch of other stuff) because my friend said wow uh I think almost fifty songs is a bit much for a request playlist so uhm yeah. Honeybee or People Need A Melody are my personal faves from them, so uh give those a listen if you want.

Hollowcoves probably would've fit but uh I'll be honest I just forgot until like 3 seconds ago that it existed. uhm uhm uhm These Memories is good! Give that a listen if you want.

Roland Faunte’s stuff is good but it’s sadder and idk didn’t know if you’d like that stuff on your playlist. I recommend listening to Brick by Brick (I linked to my favorite recording of it the acoustic extended version :D)

Danny Schmidt's music is pretty neat! This to Shall Pass is what I'll recommend, but his music is pretty varied and all of it is good in my opinion

I haven't listened enough to Defiance Ohio to properly give them a full hearted recommendation but I really like You are Loved! You might like it too

Amigo the Devil is dark folk not the vibe for this playlist but one you might enjoy if you don’t mind talk of stuff like murder and that darker type of subject material. Different Anymore is my favorite that's my recommendation

Also uh warning for darker material and its like barely even related to your playlist at this point but American Murder Song is a folk band! They write murder ballads (i think thats what its called) and all their stuff is related to american history! Lullaby is the song stuck in my head rn, they definitely have catchier songs though. damn im really out here like yeah there's catchier songs about murder out there. uhm augh sorry I just wanted to talk about them I can't get my friends to listen to them with me :/

[burningcomputerpersona]

Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals. 💌💜

Ahh thanks for the ask!! This one's from my easycore playlist and I hope y'all like it! I've also included my favorite lyrics for each song bc why not lol

and now it feels like we just can't stop anymore even if we tried

we're not changing the world, we're making it right

whatever you want in this only life, can we just be proud tonight

let me hope now, let me start again, take it away, forget my name

over again, this is how it goes, every story's made before it's told

sad enough to say that alone i could barely light a match, but together we can burn this place down

sorry about the mess but when we team up, team up, we always seem to bring this place to the ground

ive seen the best and worst of you, but we're sticking through

because without all of the ups and downs we've been through

you know that it's true that i could really be sick and tired of you

ive been asleep at the wheel for the past three years and it's too late to wake up

i never thought id live to see my best laid plans crumble right in front of me

is it my destiny to fail, ive been at this for years and to no avail

the universe has spoken and it won't rest til my spirit's broken

so here's to all the years ive wasted, i never thought i could become this jaded

sometimes the people we admire aren't always who they seem to be

they hide behind a facade of smoke and mirrors with broken smiles and yellow teeth

and only a monster would think to use a second chance as a weapon, there's no excuse

i fear my world is under water, and i. can't. breathe.

i fear my world is under water, my fears consuming me

drift away to a place thats not so harrowing

to the back plate of my mind, digging up what's left to find

with the bar set way too high for me, im bound to sink uncomfortably

im tongue tied inside with a little bit of lust mixed in to mold myself this solitude

i live in pretend like im never gonna need a friend again, ill keep myself intact

[alaydabug2]

@sparklenarniawizard

Broken heart/Broken mind

Not a chapter

(Human AU)

Sophie and Keefe met in the children's hospital when they were little. Because of how long they were confined to the four walls of the hospital, they became very close during their stay.

As the years pass, they wind up being in the same classroom together due to their physical conditions. This makes their bond deepen.

But are they able to handle when life gets tough, throwing problems and complications their way?

Hey, I just thought I'd come on here to explain a funny coincidence. So as I've explained, I've based the conditions Sophie and Keefe have in the story are ones I actually have/used to have.

Well, when I created this story, I didn't know it yet, but my yearly cardiology appointment ended up getting pushed forward due to my cardiologist retiring. (I've had him since I was a baby. How dare he. He couldn't have waited 4 more years for me to turn 18? 😭)

But anywho. That was today. I thought I'd say what goes down during these appointments. (Although, I'll probably just make a chapter with this anyhow.)

So first I get my EKG. You get these stickers placed on your chest, arms, and legs. Then they get to see the heart rhythm visually.

Then I get my echocardiogram. You take your shirt off and they do a sonogram on the chest. (It's a bit awkward cause I'm a girl, but whatever it's fine 😅.) They can see your heart and hear the heart beating. (Bonus points if you have a murmur like me and you can hear the whooshing sound!)

Then they ask if anything is different than normal. Ex: chest pain, light headedness, shortness of breath, etc.

I guess I could also explain the conditions as well while I'm at it.

Sophie has seizures. It's pretty much self explanatory on what happens based on the story. But it is a neurological issue. Has to do with the brain. There are many reasons they could happen. For mine personally, we never had an exact reason identified, but we believe it had something to do with scar tissue on my brain from when I had my second heart surgery at 10 months. We think it was from either a heart attack, stroke, or just general lack of oxygen to the brain. (I died 6 times for reference. 😃)

I thankfully don't have them anymore. Although I did have them from ages 5 to 10. (Unfortunately, not everyone grows out of them.) I also explained Sophie's seizures the same way they felt for me. Both during and how she felt afterwards. (I do plan on giving her ones in the places I was most scared to have one. Be prepared for that. 😈)

Now I don't think I actually explained what Keefe has exactly. (Although it is in the tags.) All I ever said was it's about his heart. Well he has tetrology of fallot. This is a congenitive life long disease. (Which means you are born with it.) It is actually four defects that create this condition. Essentially you have a hole between 2 chambers of your heart. This causes the oxygenated and unoxygenated blood to mix, leading to an overall lack of oxygen getting through the body. As well as your pulmonary valve doesn't work correctly.

This gets corrected by open heart surgery. I've had three. One at 8 days, 10 months, and five years. (I can vaguely remember the 3rd one. You're not supposed to remember what happens before anesthesia. But I remember all the way to the operating room and the doctor put the mask on my face and count down from 10, while I was crying. I remember to 5. Fun stuff 🥲👍) In the story so far Keefe has had 2. One at a few months old and the one that was mentioned. So far. (I'm planning some fun stuff for him that I haven't had happen to me. Worst case scenario type stuff. Enjoy it. ☺️)

But all this means essentially you have to be extremely careful. You have certain restrictions about what you can do. You can also get out of breath easily. You can't do contact sports, like football, either. Also a random thing I've had to be careful about are those little tense machines. The ones that help sore muscles. Apparently the electrical pulses have a chance to do something to your heart if you have heart issues. Idk. 😭

But I hope that this has been interesting to you. And that the background information about both the conditions and how they relate to Sophie and Keefe help for throughout the story as it goes on. Keep in mind, that while I do know quite a bit about these conditions, I am not a doctor. Stuff will bound to be inaccurate. Also several things will be exaggerated at times for the plot.

Hope you've been enjoying! 😄

[darthnell]

14, 17, and 26 for the weird writing asks

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

I’m not opposed to it, but it’s been a hot minute… I think the last one I lent out was my copy of Evelyn Hugo; we passed it around my immediate family to read ! I’m not quite sure where it is now though.. oops. I was gonna lend my copy of Verity to my sis (interesting book .. will not elaborate further .) but its also mysteriously disappeared… I also have been in the process of moving for the past few months so there’s that too. Most of my books are still packed away, alas. Who knows if I’ll ever get them out of storage

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

Ooough.. Um. Well, this answer definitely contains detail and minutae as requested so uhh we’re putting it below the cut LOL

So my current wip is a hunger games fanfic; all the thg fics I’ve written in the past few years take place in the same universe; it’s an au of canon where the Mockingjay Rebellion fails. The story I’m currently writing takes place in the year 151 where the Games are still prevalent as ever. I don’t really talk about the context/lore about the actual rebellion failing in the story since its all background information that the characters already know (and it’s not super relevant to the story itself aside from the outcomes) so I might as well share here !

The Mockingjay Rebellion (also called the Second Rebellion) failed mostly because of District Three. They (probably with the help of Beetee) betrayed the rebels and Thirteen; the Capitol was able to win with their aid. They struck some sort of deal to benefit Three in the fallout (honestly the details were probably a little hazy because of wartime shenanigans).

The one solid piece of lore I have regarding the fall of the rebellion is the bombs— the ones that Beetee and Gale designed, the ones that killed Prim. (I mention this very briefly at the end of THE REPARATION CLAUSE). Remember how Snow uses the Capitol kids as a meatshield outside the President’s manor? Some heavy lore for this: that’s not the first time this happened. This is also covered in TRC, but tl;dr the Capitol does this during the Dark Days as well, except they genuinely thought the rebels wouldn’t dare strike. Case and point, the president at the time even puts his own kids in the mix. That president is Snow’s father. And the rebels attack anyways. Coriolanus’ older sister Venus dies in the attack; he’s 8, she’s 12 at the time. Yes, Coriolanus watches her die. A lot of other children die in the attack, and that ends up being the motivation for the Hunger Games, and why it specifically targets children. I can go off on a tangent about this versus the canon reason for the Games from BOSAS but thats a rant for another day. The thing I’d just like to highlight about that is the Capitol using personal vengeance to justify their systematic violence (which is a theme that I explore throughout my works in this series, and not just from the Capitol’s end).

ANYWAYS. Keep that in mind as we jump back to canon, where Coriolanus orchestrates this same mechanic of bringing the children into the President’s manor. He is So Very Aware of what happened the last time this was done. He knows the rebels have the balls to do it again. He knows how strongly his own people react to a massacre of this degree. …In canon, we know that a hovercraft with a Capitol seal dropped the bombs, and it was most likely the rebels. Here, it’s the opposite— Coriolanus calls the attack, and a hovercraft with the rebel seal/mockingjay drops the bombs.

In hindsight, I’m so glad I figured out the tiniest way to change the course of the Mockingjay Rebellion to fit the needs of my au LOL. It… really works so Perfectly though, and I love it. In TRC, I explore a bit how fucked up Coriolanus’ father became as a result of the war… and I think this does a really good job of illustrating how badly it messed with Coriolanus himself. (It feels… more fitting to me than uhh despising Katniss bc she reminds him of his weirdgirl ex lmao . Anyways.) He really orchestrated an attack that mirrored the same one that he watched kill his sister . …I just really love what kind of villain this makes him, idk. Obligatory mention of how someday maybe I’d like to write more about his rise to power as a character…

Okay ! You thought we were done? We’re not done, there’s a lot of fallout from That. The Victors’ Purge. Is. Merciless. …I’d like to think that in his last moments, Beetee is realizing his mistake in siding with the Capitol, rip. But…yeah, as I have it now, not a single Victor makes it out of that. (My initial reason for that was I had 0 intention of writing any canon characters ever LOL). But yeah, none of them make it out. District Thirteen is Exposed— they Exist, and everyone knows it. But Snow doesn’t demolish them. Instead, they’re now required to send tributes to the 76th Hunger Games, and every Games henceforth. (When I first started writing, I sort of like.. had them participating now bc i wanted one of the tribute chars to be from D13, and then later figured out the mechanics of Why. Another reason that my choice of divergence ended up being so unintentionally perfect; 13 had to be exposed in order to send tributes. I digress…)

…Can’t remember if I said this anywhere like in my fic or my blog or on discord or anything, but the Victor of the 76th is Hera Latier from Three. She’s Beetee’s niece, and she’s very important in terms of how my verse is structured bc a) she serves as a perfect symbol of what happens when you remain loyal to the Capitol, and b) after she wins, she makes a deal with Snow to allow D3 to become a Career district. It’s framed as their reward for serving the Capitol during the Mockingjay Rebellion and it Works.

So… yeah ! There’s the explanation for why D13 sends tributes to the Games and why D3 are Careers. But wait, there’s more ..!

Another thing I haven’t mentioned in my stories that much (which I’d love to write a little one shot or short story exploring)… the Presidency itself. I have a lot of… government worldbuilding, I guess, for how the Capitol/Panem actually functions. Tbh this answer is long enough that I don’t feel the need to go too deep into it, but what is relevant is elections ! I know, elections in a dystopian dictatorship regime? Wild… but I never said they weren’t corrupt. One thing that’s neat about the Capitol is they love to maintain appearances, and isn’t it nice for their citizens to feel like they get a choice in government happenings..? Anyways. This system v clearly benefits the president who’s already president— there’s no term limit, and after each election they win, the term extends by another four years (so after winning their second election, the pres doesn’t have to sit through another one for eight years, and so on). So, it’s very very rare for a sitting President to lose an election. I think for Coriolanus’s last election, he ended up winning himself like a 20 year term LOL. Anyways.

That being said … after Coriolanus’ presidency (he ends up retiring and peacefully passing it along), his granddaughter Celestia is elected (in the year 82 I think..? I’d have to fact check it but somewhere around then, idk). She’s a good president in terms of post-war recovery. But as time goes on, it becomes clear that she’s a little… softer on the districts than some in the Capitol would prefer. The tl;dr of this is that unrest starts brewing in D9 following a particularly brutal tribute death in the 118th Games; this continues to escalate up until the year 120, where it breaks out into riots/rebellion. These became known as the Grain Riots, and mostly stayed contained within D9 due to their disadvantage as a spread-out district with no real means to communicate and spread messages to others that would be willing to help. One of the main reasons that the Riots were actually stopped was due to the efforts of a young Peacekeeper named Venera Valorius, but not before she was severely injured (the rioters got ahold of her and took out one of her eyes rip). Venera got her revenge on D9 in the end, but she wasn’t finished.

Many in the Capitol believed that this could’ve been easily prevented, had Celestia been a stronger president, Venera chief among them. Celestia even wanted to cover up the whole thing and pretend like no sort of rebellion ever happened under her watch; she offered Venera the highest-tech replacement eye the Capitol had on the market, free of charge, and a life of comfort in exchange for keeping quiet about the whole thing. But to Venera, this was utterly unacceptable, and only served to highlight Celestia’s flaws as president.

So she did what any extremist who truly and whole-heartedly believes in their cause would do— she campaigned for the presidency for the next two years. Her platform was strong, and incredibly popular; Celestia couldn’t have her assassinated without sparking public outrage for offing a wounded war hero (rolls eyes) (and I think Celestia as a character wanted to be better than her grandfather, and had spent most of her life trying to do so). And so for the first time ever in Panem’s history, when the Election of 122 came around, an underdog won the presidency. It’s kind of funny; Venera is 22 at this time LOL. Tbh Celestia probably didn’t even think it was possible and severely underestimated her. Is this unrealistic? Probably. But hey I’m having fun in evil political girlboss land. Its also funny bc at the time of True Vengeance (151), Venera is still president, but she’s also divorced and a little bitter about it kxkxkdkd. But yeah her story would be a fun one to write someday. She’s. More than a little unhinged. If you’ve ever listened to the song Thought Contagion by Muse, thats. That’s her lmaoooo…

Well anyone who actually read all that, I hope you enjoyed !

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

Get…out…? You people are getting out ? 😳 /hj

Umm well Ven and Oberon (pov chars for True Vengeance) just kinda live in my brain like little diseases.. or tumors.. jdkdkd. When it comes to writing them ig, since I can only write one at a time, I uhh idk, I guess I spend some time thinkin real hard about whatever situation I’ll be writing them in and what they’re thinking and feeling and wanting from it. Sometimes it’s like a “what would I do in this situation” and then add in their personality modifiers afterwards LOL (excess anger for both of them, and crushing self-loathing for Oberon, pride and desperation for Venatrix…. They’re doing so great…!)

I get out by going outside and touching grass (but then I think about how Ven is outside and she’s also probably touching grass wow shes just like me fr—) (/also j djdj).

Do I ever regret going there..? Hm. I wouldn’t say regret. There have been some scenes that I’ve written where I needed to like lay down afterwards and give my brain a break from the horror.. (Ch 22 was one of them ahaha..) but I wouldn’t say I regret that. Some things just take more effort for me to do. I know I’m not a super fast or efficient writer either, so I’m not the type to like.. get really Into It and dissociate for four hours and come out of that with 3k, if that makes sense. …I wouldn’t be opposed to that though, but my brain just doesn’t do that. More short bursts than anything, so I have to be ready at All Times … Idk I probably think more about my characters than normal but its fun so who cares !

[whitehartlane]

(copy) ahh sorry again for the late response, my week has been good though, ty! :) i hope things lighten up for you soon!! 🫂

mmm, yeah i figured they’d do something a little more classic with him! & definitely w/ it just being 2 pics, that was why i was curious if there might be more photos yet to be released from this shoot (sorry, my wording was weird in the first ask) but i didn’t know how that kind of stuff rolled out. it seems twitter got a hold of the rest (or most of the rest?) of the photos though, so!! the black and white headshot & the one with his hand over his right eye are my favorites of the new photos!!! visually, the shadow of the dip in his throat framed by the shirt collar is so nice ❤️

also, YESSS @ him doing smth like heungmin’s calvin klein shoot that was SO good, i would be really excited to see what a kim hee june photoshoot would turn out like 🥺🥺 i’d love to see a sillier photoshoot especially!

ahh the main reason isn’t anything significant though, it was basically just peer pressure from my friends 😭😭 & yes!! ❤️❤️ wishing them luck for their next cup :) and speaking of! do you plan to watch the womens cup next yr?

also TYY for the reminder abt dramacool!! i always forget that their variety shows get subbed because the past few times ive looked show up they were all raws lol T_T

i just finished the ila episode with heechan in it and wow.. it is the fabien i was thinking of on the cast.. ngl i did not know that french man had actual gigs i thought was just some random friend of that one american expat who does youtube videos 😦😦 also also why did he keep putting the steaming hot pans straight onto his wooden table 😭😭 i was so suprised they didnt comment on that bc it was bringing me to the verge of hysterics fr his poor table… PLUS THE -190 C CYROTHERAPY the way he took his shirt off for it too thats crazy 😱😱

nd yeahh, omg i didnt even think of it in terms of tv personas 😭😭 they do that for sports players too??

MOMMY&ME LESSONS… help !! 😭😭 can’t deny it but that really is such a funny comparison to think of. & yeah i think burberry really depends on the model.. like heungmin has a vibe that fits the clothes they put him in (complimentary) but with some of those luxury brands the styling just feels too mature? also that reminds me i wanted to look for the rest of the photos from seungho’s shoot.. ;; the ones you rb’d look so niiicee 🥺🥺 dazed korea really is so <33.

hi there anon!! hope you’ve been well since the last time we spoke ☺️ things have been busy on my end but mostly okay, sorry for the ULTRA late response 😭

yessss i saw the rest of the pics!! i love the b&w headshot too!! i think guesung just has a rly interesting face and i loooove the closeups of his eyes and his freckles, it’s so pleasing to look at!! the new elle man photos have also been rly nice … i just know the modelling industry is sobbing knowing cho guesung exists and he decided to play football 😭 also your MIND i would LOVE to see him in a kim hee june photoshoot that would be excellent …

helppp i live in germany so i know all about the football peer pressure 😭 and yes i do plan to watch the women’s wc!!! it’s gonna be fun 🫂 also yeah dramacool has most if not all subbed variety shows, i normally watch random raw clips but if i get the time i love sitting down and watching full ila eps especially :)

HEECHAN’S ILA EP BELOVED!!! and help bye wrt fabien 😭 yeah he has actual gigs, he’s also a host on my neighbour charles, he belongs to the group of foreigner comedians in korea who speak korean 😭 (like sam hammington, sam okyere, etc) AND YEAH i was wondering why they didn’t mention him straight up putting his hot utensils on his wooden table like knowing the ila hosts that’s very much a comment they would make 💀 the cryotherapy is so intense i was just like 😦 the life of a footballer is wild … btw idk if they actually have pr training but i would assume so 😭 although considering how many footballers put their whole foot in their mouth in interviews sometimes ig there’s ppl who pay attention and ppl who don’t 💀

YES heungmin is just so stylish like the clothes he wears casually on a personal level are soooo korean street fashion and he looks so good in them!! he does rly well in mature styling too, heungmin just has the essence to pull things like burberry off in a fantastic manner. and yes i love dazed korea … 🫶🏾 hope some of the boys get more deals with them bc i love their photoshoots!!

hope you’re well anon ☺️🫶🏾 sorry again for the looooong overdue response 😭 but thinking of u always!!!

[meimeikyu]

YIPPEE YIPPEEEE OKAY!!! (these r copy n pasted from my dms bcs i rambled about them a bunch :3) PLEASE ENJOY

so a bunch of rambles about them (mostly error) GO!! (under cut bcs. so many)

PLS FEEL FREE TO SEND ME ASKS ABOUT THEM I LOVE THEM <3

basically bcs error is fucky glitchy its body isnt always a stable form? it uses errors body to keep a more consistent existence but the body is still extremely glitchy bcs of it. this leads to it being able to manipulate the body and its form and it uses that power to fuck with ppl!! sometimes it just. doesnt care enough to keep the body stable so itll lead to it getting extra parts or joints or losing some and it has to consciously restablize to fix it. this also means it doesnt really have a boundary on injuries or things? like yes the physical form can bleed n break and get injured and it can feel it but it doesnt really hurt it in the same way and it can just kinda fix it as needed! it also doesnt really have a limit on how far it can bend its joints bcs of this and it uses that to fuck with ppl

ink has a similar concept tbh bcs of his lack of soul! his body is his only physical form and he cant manipulate it in the same way but he can very easily fix it by painting it back on and no injuries will ever be permanent bcs he can just paint over and fix them! can u tell i love ink n error having parralells n being built from similar concepts yet being so different n. yeah i love them

The duo ever

also!! if any piece of inks body is seperated for any reason it just desolves into ink and ink will paint a new one on, whereas errors will stay (although start glitching out way more) and it just kinda. puts them back. I need to draw my error but ye theres a reason its covered in stitch marks :3

i try to make them both so weird n not human in my au and its why i love them so much they r so WRONG they are such caricatures of the human form and they will never be correct and they will never be fully people again and they never were in the first place and yet theres a loss of humanity and. an i love them

see they need to be besties bcs although there r other gods none of them are Wrong™ in the same way they r

like yeah they will fight to the death sometimes but neither of them are capable of dying and they know that so like 20 minutes (or maybe 6 days? neither of them have any good consistent concept of time bcs. of the horrors) they just kinda are like lol ok now that thats done wanna hang out

see they r both like. impossibly not human bcs they both USED to be people. or part of them did. their physical forms were people that gave their souls and became them. but also a massive part of them is the universe and the creators themselves. the other gods may be connected to the outside yes but they are FUSED with it themselves and it means they will never be whole and they will never be sane bcs how could you be when you are both a creation in the world and the creator at the same time and you have a million stories and times running through your mind at any given moment and you can comprehend the vastness and yet smallness of youre entire world because you exist beyond it and yet are physically a part of it that can never escape. and yet you have memories of when you WERE people and were "yourself" but you were also never that person and were always this mass of things beyond comprehension given form and fused to those people and. how can there be a you when there is so much at the same time.

yeah this post is basically my philosophy behind them

YEAH PLEASE ENJOY THESE RAMBLES I LOVE MY GUYS SO MUCH BITES THEM PLS FEEL FREE TO ASK ABOUT THEM <3333

hey guys wanna hear about festivalverse error and ink

[peachyninjago]

cursed prince 📁 !

okay so. i actually have the entire plot for this (messily) laid out bc i was talking about it w emi so i just copy and pasted it uwviwgiw. here you go <3

~

THIS IS HARD TO EXPLAIN WITHOUT A LOT OF BACKSTORY BC ITS ACTUALLY?? KIND OF A COMEDY???

but, to summarize, Morro's the prince of the cursed realm!! or the so-called 'prince.'

all of the 16 realms have a prince/princess/ruler (ex: Lloyd for Ninjago, Akita for the Never Realm, perhaps Wu for the First Realm). A new ruler is chosen whenever the previous dies.

...or is sent to a new realm ;]

rulers basically speak for their entire realm!! they keep peace and harmony btwn all 16.

NOW. for morro. ..hes, uh. like I said; hes not Actually the Cursed Realms prince.

the real Cursed Realm ruler hasn't shown, even though its previous, (idk who the previous is lol) has died. (again.)

..BUT. morro (who was SUPPOSED to be Ninjago's prince) was accidentally killed at a VERY younge age (im talking like. 2. any older and he'd be taken to be taught how to rule), and somehow got sent to the cr because of it.

now, the Preeminent- whos a Lot Less evil and a Lot More stressed- sees this young kid with the marks of a ruler (DID I MENTION THE RULERS HAVE MARKS ON THEIR SKIN?? THEY HAVE MARKS ON THEIR SKIN UACUACUA)- and just goes 'oh Ninjago didn't want him?? shit I'll take him.'

and basically morro is raised believing hes the cursed realms prince?? when hes really Not. idk. imagining how funny itd be for the rulers meeting to come and you got this room full of powerful near godlike ppl and then theres just. Morro :)

no, the other rulers Don't realize he's not a 'real' prince. (okay. maybe the older ones do? wu definitely does, but he doesn't mind lol.)

and and also just bc I want them to, Lloyd and morro are best friends in this. their realms might by Complete Opposites but that will Not stop them from being besties (that secretly consider each other family)

i mean. the truth is probably revealed Eventually, but idk if i want it to go Full Funny (no one cares that Morro isn't 'actually' a prince, he does a damn good job for his realm) or for there to be some Real Angst (Morro has a HUGE identity crisis, all 16 realms are in dissaray and near war over this development, the ppl of Ninjago say that Lloyd shouldn't affiliate with morro anymore...)

OK THATS ALL I GOT FOR THAT ONE!! AGAIN ITS MOSTLY CUTE FUNNY HAHA :DDD