#thats because this was copy and pasted so keep that in mind lol

[alaydabug2]

[aanylah-c0m]

ZDINARSK HEADCANONS FULL PACK

FULL PACK OF ZDINARSK HEADCANONS AND CANONS

Enjoy Angels! 🕊🤍

HUMAN FORM HEADCANON

I don't have much to say about this but when Quaritch is watching the video of himself or his little memory card you can see a woman getting In of a link unit, here's the conversation, I got this off a website where I watch the movie so I will depict everything from what the subtitles say

Human Quaritch; "You're a recom now, Colonel..."

Human Quaritch; "Loaded with my memories and my charm"

Human Quaritch; "What you won't remember is my death...because It hasn't happened yet, and it aint gonna"

Lyle; "Damn right" 

Possibly Zdinarsk; "Hell yeah"

NOW I THINK this HAS to be Zdinarsk, why? Here's the second conversation, this is when Tysireya calls an ilu that's swimming by and swims away on it, and then the POV goes back up to Quaritch, Zdinarsk, Mansk, Kiri, & ofc Tuk.

Quaritch; "We can still get this done"

Zdinarsk; "Hell yeah" 

LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THATS NOT ZDINARSK oh right! YA CANT

GUM CHEWING / EMOTIONAL EATING & EMOTIONAL EATER

So a while ago I saw something where there was a headcanon about how Zdinarsk chews gum as a way to calm herself down? And how she's an emotional eater, I actually love this one and credits to @roxynmae & @fictionsonmymind for this since they're like 10000% responsible for it. 

HEADCANON LINK <333

Here's an Idea! How about with her being an emotional eater she eats what she feels y'know? Maybe a sad food for her could be like something soft or simple to eat. Like soup or oatmeal, something like that! 

I looked this up afterward and look-

Maybe a food for when she's angry could be maybe a hot food, not steaming but not warm either. 

Maybe she chews her gum hard sometimes when she can't get to crunchy or tough foods,

Z being an emotional eater suits her, and her liking sweet things is cool too. She most likely chews her gum so that way she has a way to calm herself and maybe something to keep her busy. 

Also, her having anxiety could be a possibility, maybe she gets jittery so chewing gum maybe overwhelms the feeling that she has to move around.

ADHD maybe???

I can relate because when taking my state test or whatever It's called I couldn't stay still when sitting down for nearly 4-5 hours. Sure most wouldn't like that but trust me the person behind me was probably so p!ssed with me moving every 5 seconds lmao. 

Later on I did fall asleep and woke back up when testing was over,

ZDINARSKS FIRST NAME / NICKNAME

Once again this was inspired by a post I saw with headcanons/canons of the recom's names

I sadly lost the @ for this headcanon but If I find them I will update this and put their user! 

CREDIT LINK BASE - INCOMPLETE 

 like her first name! It's cute and her name has a meaning in Arabic! 

COPY AND PASTED! 

Origin: Arabic. Meaning:Date palm; date. Tamara is a feminine Arabic name meaning "date palm" or "date." Derived from the Biblical name Tamar meaning "date" or "palm tree," this sweet moniker is symbolic of the beauty and fruitfulness associated with this tree.

She is definitely fruity alright lol, for nicknames she already has 2. 

Z-dog and just Z 

Z-dog is clearly heard when Lyle is telling reassuring him his squad by their names, 

Z is heard near the end of the movie, 

Lyle tells Z to go to another part of the ship.

She looks so pretty In this scene to omfg 

TATTOOS

This one is confirmed completely so this is canon!

Zdinarsk has many colorful tattoos on her arms, neck, and chest. They include:

A chimera on her neck.

An eagle on her back with the Latin motto "AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" which means "conquer or die". It also has the number 33 which is known as an "angel number" that calls for people to cleanse their life and mind of negativity.

Her right arm has a skeleton reaper on the bottom and an angel on the top.

Her left arm has a snake wrapped around a skull with "DEATHLESS" on it. The bottom portion is the most difficult to interpret as it looks very Hindu in nature with many strange symbols.

+

CONCEPT DESIGN

On the ATWOW fandom website on Zdinarsks page there is an art gallery of her character design

There is also another concept design, I believe It was called the art of avatar book. 

Ok so from the OG design of Zdinarsk, her tattoos didn't change, but something very noticeable is that

She has cargo military pants but In her approved design she has shorts instead. She acuatually changed pants 3 times in the movie, when she is first seen you can see her in the mirror when Quaritch first wakes up she has on the same pants as everyone else, it has Project Phoneix on the side but shortened to Phnx I think.

Also with this design she has a hat, sunglasses, I LOVE how her sunglasses sit on top of her hat it's so cute.

In the second concept design photo her shirt is shorter than the first concept photo and her official design,

she has on gloves as well, And for some who didn't know Walker has gloves attached to her pants as equipment, cute detail right?

In the trivia section of her page, It says that James Cameron asked for her to look like this! 

So there it is! Zdinarks hair is a mohawk!! I never minded her hair but something to know Is that the Na'vi DO NOT have those fades you have when getting a buzz cute or etc, but Quaritch does? 

ANGER ISSUES

So It was silently agreed that Zdinarsk had anger issues, but when she is angry she will never take it out on people purposely. I'd like to imagine that when Quaritch started swinging after he woke up Z was worried about him. The conversation:

Lab lady; "Get security!"

Zdinarsk; "Grab him!" 

IN THIS PART THERE IS SO MUCH RUKUS IM NOT CONFIRMING THIS FAR DOWN!

Zdinarsk; "Put him down!" OR "Hold him down!"

Zdinarsk; "Colonel! Calm down!"

She sounded so worried and scared when he started swinging, and how when Quaritch said he was alright she was the second to let him and before losing contact completely. 

A mini side-note is when Quaritch goes to punch his ikran, when he fell Spider, Lyle, Alexzander (or brown), & Zdinarsk were the first to run to the edge of the cliff

"Thats becuase everyone was farther back"

I DONT GIVE AF IT EVEN SAYS IN HER PROFILE THAT SHE WAS A LOYAL SOLIDER WHO STUCK BESIDE HIM SHE CARESSS

SEXUALITY & GENDER

Everyone knows Z HAS to be gay, I mean LOOK AT HER 

Definitely Lesbain, I would say Masc but I don't see that part in her honestly. 

Maybe Alpha lesbain? heres the meaning -->

COPY & PASTED FROM WEBSITE 

Top of the lesbian food chain and don't they know it! With their razor-sharp jawlines, and buckets of s$x appeal, alphas manage to turn heads wherever they go.

Of course, this is just ‼️another massive stereotype‼️. And while it might seem that alphas have been blessed with a gift from the gods, truth is, anybody can be an alpha.

The secret to being an alpha is confidence. There is nothing more attractive than someone who's comfortable in their own skin and knows what they want.

WEBSITE- FR CHECK THIS SITE OUT ITS COOL 

IKRAN DESIGN & COLOR 

I found images of Z's Ikran ITS RAINBOW!!!

I LOVE this detail! You can't tell me she's straight now

RELATIONSHIPS & DATING

This has 2 sections so enjoy yourself 

TOXIC RELATIONSHIP 

If Z was ever In this situation I feel like depending on who the person was or how she felt about them she would either be p!ssed off and be like "Whatever btch" and just push that person away. Or she would maybe be sad about how the person becomes different and she gets sad. 

THINGS NOT WORKING OUT 

Zdinarsk would completely understand, she would maybe still ask If you two could be friends though or check up on the person. BUT If you are being difficult she won't care.

For example, If you are going through something and refuse to let her help you (and let others help you) she would get mad and try her best to help you but If you are pushing her away continuously she might just break up with you or grow distant. 

You better PRAY to ewya btch that she doesn't start talking to somebody else cuz If she does you can kiss her goodbye. If she even lets you lmao 

(Hope this isn't to toxic...)

Thats kinda it lol

Last thing I wanna say about Zdinarsk is her body shape and the way she looks, she is so beautiful and pretty. Like look at her body view

+

I want to touch her thighs respectfully

Thank you for reading! And credit and sm love to the people I took Inspo from <333

This was so fun to make and I'm not even done talking about her

Friends; @dyingofcookies @multiversebaddie

[celestie0]

Hello!! I wanted to ask some advice 😞 I have a fic idea but I've never posted any writing before and its like a very very specific band au and I'm scared no one will care to read it because of how much music context it requires 😭 I really admire your writing so like...what do you suggest...

(Also super excited for next kickoff ! I've never been this invested in a fic)

hii my love!! omg a band au sounds like so much funnn are you kiddinggg i would eat that UPPP. my advice would be to just go ahead n write it!!! it's super nervewracking to share work, especially if you've never shared before, so for the time being you can just write w the idea that no one else will read it except for yourself! that'll help you establish a healthy relationship w your writing & your hobby in general even before you post should you choose to post

as for the specificity n music context, i personally think thats SO FUCKIN RAD!!! i love a story where i can enjoy a romance but also have aspects outside of it that i can learn something new from or take something away from. i have read some pretty incredible fics & books, but the ones that have always had a lasting impact on me are the ones i went into knowing nothign ab a specific something, but then i leave it feeling like i've learned something i wouldn't have ever known before!!

it's a totally valid feeling though, esp in fanfiction where you might think readers want to read ab only their fave characters or specifically romance. i felt this way a lot with including the film major & photography aspect to kickoff, i feared readers would find it boring and would just want to read ab gojo x reader. i think in ch9, gojo only had like 40% of the chapter screentime and didn't even make his first appearance until like 5k words into the chapter, but i'm still really happy w the chapter and the response i got was great too. i see some of my writer mutuals break the norms n experiments w their stories all the time too, and honestly, i think that makes for some of the BEST and most MEMORABLE stories :)

as for fears that people may not see your story, i totally get that. keep in mind, i think the jjk fandom specifically doesn't really have too many long fics, at least compared to what i've seen in other fandoms, n tends to steer towards oneshot content (i could be wrong ab this but it's just what i've noticed! at least on tumblr. long fics always get lots of love on ao3 tho) so don't worry too much if you're not getting as many notes or reblogs etc as some other authors, bc if you choose to post series content, then you'll technically be in a niche category for this specific fandom. BUT i have noticed that the quality of interactions w longer stories is very amazing and totally worth being a part of this writing community for that reason!!

when i first started posting, i really didn't know what to expect since the last time i had a fanfic blog was for like two months when i was 12 on deviantart LOL. and now i'm just extremely blown away n humbled by the support. but that's the thing- you'll never ever know unless you try! again, just write and picture it that you're the only one that's going to read it, so put all that juicy music context in there n really write w that passion in mind!! (i'm assuming you're into music or bands n that's your inspiration? don't be afraid to let that interest show!!) and that's really the only thing you need to get started, after that it's just simply copy pasting n then posting :)

if you do get around to posting or sharing it then feel free to tag me bb!! i'd love to read it n support you. good luck to u n much love!! <33 i hope this helps in anyway

and thank you for looking forward to kickoff :)

ps. in case you want any specific writing advice i have some on my page here (sorry bb i just realized i wasn't sure if you were asking for actual concrete writing advice haha my bad if i misinterpreted)

[grimoiredove]

hiya honey, hope you're doing well!! I originally sent this ask for silco because it's an au that was created for arcane specifically, but you can also apply it to any f/o you'd like :D

(also heads up the lower part is copy pasted because I'm asking a bunch of my moots questions about this AU so if you see it floating around that's why lolol)

now onto the au!! it's called the lumen au and it's a type of soulmate au.

a lumen is a ball of light usually around the size of a tennis ball, but it can vary I think lol, that is a physical manifestation of their soul mates soul. the colour, texture and any other features of the lumen varies depending on the soulmate.

the lumen has a personality similar to the soulmate, so a ditzy soulmate might have a lumen that wanders around a bit lol. but at the end of the day lumens always follow their respective soulmate, although they're not tethered and can be stolen but thats a whole other story.

the soulmate can also feel anything that happens to their lumen. so tickling, kissing, biting, poking, squeezing etc. the lumen results in the soulmate feeling it no matter where they are. the feeling all depends on the intention of the person touching the lumen, so if they are poking it with the intention of comfort that's what the soulmate will feel and vice versa.

when soulmate meet, their lumens get drawn to each other and kinda.. circle each other and let out a bright light before going back to their respective owners. by that I mean the lumen goes back to whoever they were already with prior, the souls don't just trade owners if that makes sense. lumen a stays with person b and vice versa. I think it is possible to trade lumens so you can have your own lumen in your possession, and maybe even trade it with someone else and decide your own fate :D

okay ramble over, I sent this because I have questions👀✍��

1 what do you think you and your f/os lumen would look like 2 what are their thoughts on lumens and 3 how do they treat their lumens based on 2

if you're not a big fan of soulmate au's - or just don't want to respond to this which is fair lmao - consider this a free gush pass🎟️

enjoy the rest of your day!!

@i-put-the-s4p-in-s4pphic

Ohhh I love this idea so much, Im a sucker for any type of soulmates au's!! So Honey's representive lumen would be pink for sure, it's the color I associate the most with them. Typically it would be very shy, but curious, but when alone with Silco, is very affectionate and interested in his work. Silco's representive lumen I imagine would be a deep maroon red, like his suit, it would be very aloof and independant, but also very protective and stern when it deems necessary.

Honey I think would very much enjoy having Silco's lumen around. Often times they find it's easy to look after, usually minding it's own business, and when it is involved in Honey's work or various activities, they find it can even be quite helpful. They don't like being alone or away from their favorite person, and often find it distressing, so having Silco's lumen around makes them feel more comfortable and less alone.

Silco would at first find Honey's lumen to be a bit annoying, not quite understanding the signifigance of it, or even not really believing there is such a thing as soul-mates. However, over time I think he'd find it tolerable, or even like it. Honey's lumen is often very curious in what he's doing, which Silco finds relieving in a way, to be able to share and vent his frustrations about his work. When other people are around though it often hides away, usually under Silco's desk, which he at first found annoying, but I think would find endearing over time. He would probably keep it at a distance though, he finds it hard to seperate his actual self and needs from the idea of what he should be, what he wants to be.

Honey definitely would like to interact with Silco's lumen often, usually talking with it while doing activities, cuddling it, or even just having it around near them. I think they'd enjoy having it around, but would be a bit scared of being overly affectionate with it, in case it's owner (Silco in this case) isn't comfortable.

Silco at first would kind of loathe the idea of having a lumen around him, it makes him feel less intimidating in his own head. Over time though, he would grow to accept it, reluctantly. As he gets more comfortable with it, he would interact with it more, talking about his work or general frustrations, petting it when it gets scared and hides, things like that.

I think Honey and Silco would go a while without realizing who their soulmate is. Honey didn't ever really get to see Silco for years when working for him, they were in their lab with Singed most of the time working on Shimmer. Singed was often almost this middleman for the two of them, any information Honey had to share would be shared through Singed to Silco. Eventually when Singed stopped working in the lab for Silco, is probably around when Honey and Silco would realize, considering Honey would have to talk directly with Silco. For a while what prevented them from realizing was the fact that Silco I don't imagine would bring his lumen around with him, he'd probably keep it in his office. So finally when he did bring it out around Honey was when they would realize since Honey's lumen is always with them.

[raveneira]

Stop Lyin

'KawaSara fans just want everything to just be Naruto 2.0, they dont want anything new or different they only ship it cuz its like SS'

The same mfs sayin that:

Stfu, the only ones your fooling are yourselves, your just fine with Naruto 2.0, but only for the ships YOU want canon.

'B-but their a mix of multiple OG ships not just one so its different!'

Thats even WORSE, it makes them the most unoriginal ship and just a weird amalgamation of OG ships with nothing of their own, their just NaruHina, MinaKushi, ItaIzu, ObiRin, NaruSaku, SasuSaku, SasuNaru etc all over again, but yea you sure showed us about wanting 'originality' lol

And just to burst your bubble even more, your not special, and your point is invalid anyway because I didnt hear nothin about 2.0 in OG Naruto when these were happening but NOW suddenly its an issue.

But now suddenly its a problem, back then yall called it 'parallels' and 'foreshadowing' but for some reason conveniently when its KawaSara and BoruSumi suddenly its Naruto 2.0 and we need something different than past dynamics

BUT YALL HAD NONE OF THAT ENERGY WHEN NS WAS COPY AND PASTE OBIRIN/JIRATSUNA

NONE OF THAT ENERGY WHEN SS WAS JUST KAKARIN/DANTSUNA

NONE OF THAT ENERGY WHEN NH WAS JUST INVERTED MINAKUSHI

But god forbid KawaSara is just a little too much like SS or BoruSumi a little too much like NH, but Bsa being like [in your words not mine] literally every past OG ship is totally fine and the pinnacle of originality you all wanna see from the sequel, give me a danm break lol

What makes this even more pathetic is that Im not even exaggerating, they've gotten so blatantly hypocritical their even trying to use the Minato one-shot as foreshadowing for Bsa, keep in mind these are the same people who claim to want something new and different, are using a one shot set in the past for an OG ship that happened WAY before Bsa even existed all because of the vortex symbolism and the sequel just happened to have the name vortex in it they think its some kind of parallel/foreshadowing for the pair...which is utterly ridiculous but this aint the post for that, but just friendly reminder the Shippuden in the Naruto sequel meant Hurricane chronicles/legends and the Uzumaki clan has always been symbolized with whirlpools/vortex way before Boruto was even thought of, hell their clan symbol is a literal swirl like a vortex...nuff said, this aint the post to delve deeper into that.

Im mentioning this purely to point out the hypocrisy of wanting something 'different' yet using every possible OG thing thats even remotely similar to boost your ship and show how canon it is, yet KawaSara and BoruSumi cant because then its Naruto 2.0.

Their newest thing lately I've been seein the most is that BoruSara is like MinaKushi and NaruHina because Sarada stalks Boruto etc, so I thought I'd bring this reality check back since these same ppl talkin about other shippers just wanting Naruto 2.0 again.

Like I said, the only ones your foolin are yourselves cuz nobody buys your bs cuz everytime yall pull that card you put your foot in your mouth with all these 'parralels' that are suddenly ok now, but NOT ok when its any of your rival ships . Sit down.

PS: This aint the post to go into this either, but like I mentioned earlier that Bsa is actually the most unoriginal new gen ship, I could literally make a separate post showing how that is and how KawaSara and BoruSumi are actually the more unique ships of the options. You may have noticed I havent mentioned Ksu at all in this...thats because its a joke atp that I nor anybody besides their shippers take seriously, but if I must address it its literally just poorly done SS and SH with a dash of SK so why would I even bother with such a joke of a ship that exists solely to play keep away for Bsa but not because theres any legitimate basis in canon and thrives purely off headcanon and Hondas rewriting of events that amounted to nothing because, shocker, the manga wasnt building anything between them, so Honda created a completely made up foundation for nothing that they scrapped immediately and never acknowledged it again. So much for 'the anime is the complete version of the manga' yea funny how they backtracked alot of their mistakes when they saw the manga contradicting it, cuz at the end of the day the manga is the MAIN source material, so what happens there is more canon than anything the anime does afterwards.

[terraliensvent]

You seem like a really non-biased and heartfelt person running this blog. I appreciate your honesty with every reply, it’s very commendable.

My time in the terra server has been confusing to say the least. I thoroughly enjoy it, and yet at least once a day something that strikes as off putting will happen. I am not one to vent, nor post on blogs like this, but, with the trial mods out there’s something on my mind that I just can no longer hold within. I am beyond, overly uncomfortable with Xiao being a trial mod.

This make strike weirdly, but I don’t seem them as a face, nor representative of how Terras should be. They are cold, unemotional, biased, and overall picky. They ignore you when they feel like it (and, apologies if I am misgendering, I do not know their pronouns at the time), and only talk to their friends; the staff, or anyone with “good art”.

It sucks? Because, I wanted to be their friend and they ultimately shoved me away. Maybe I am a little petty, but I just do not find their presence as a trial mod welcoming. It honestly makes me feel a little, no, very afraid to talk.

So, I’d like to know your opinion? On Xiao? What should I do? Can I even do anything??

i really appreciate the kind words anon, i try my best to give my genuine viewpoints, as i think a lot of owners of blogs like these can be too disconnected from their topic and it feels out of touch imo

on to the topic at hamd

i dont interact much in the server on a personal level anymore after the whole blowout with architechals, but what i will say is that i am never really too fond of the picks for staff

i wanna use bear and pokii as an example, since during that situation in the callout thread, they were incredibly heinous toward former mod milo (who i actually really liked, they were super down to earth and friendly), and that combined with the behavior exhibited by bear toward ponyzilla, like how can you clearly copy a design you offered on in the past and act like theres no similarity whatsoever

anyways

i dont know much about xiao (besides the fact i have them blocked lol, i guess they annoyed me at some point) but if your character assessment is true to your experience then i think thats pretty on par with how terra staff is in general. cliquey, disconnected, and cold unless youre someone they want to be associated with for clout.

for you specifically anon, id say keep talking how you want to, xiao seems like a person who really isnt the best to be friends with in your case, and if you find yourself being cut off or talked over or pushed aside by them in the public chat, i would politely but sternly point it out. people really love to ignore stuff like that in terras because you arent one of the elite staff members who everyone wants to talk to, but you deserve respect as well.

so in short, maybe stop trying to be friends with xiao and focus more on the friendships youre already cultivating, and dont be afraid to stick up for yourself if you feel yourself being pushed away from public spaces. terras has a lot of mob mentality and often will let things slide in fear of rocking the boat. if you feel yourself being unwelcomed by a member of staff, stand your ground and collect screenshots. if you get brushed aside, it just helps you build more of a case in the event that it becomes too overwhelming to even be in the same spaces as them

[trenchcoatsbi]

heya! back again, this time to request a playlist! i’d love for it to have a really comfortable vibe, maybe with some songs similar to jack johnson’s work or, hell, stuff like the kingdom dance from tangled? indie folk music is good, too! anything you feel fits, go for it. take care! -🌾🪶

I went ahead and did this a bit ago tho I held off on posting cause i didn’t know if Tommy was working on one too or not. But uh I’ve thoroughly driven my friends mad with my ramblings while I was putting this together and I think they’d legit kill me if I didn’t post this at all. I didn’t want to put too much stuff on these cause after a bit it was just starting to really look like i copied and pasted MY phil playlist but yeah comfy music is my jam especially indie folk type stuff or like fantasy-ish instrumentals :D! I probably could've leaned more folksy but uh I mainly listen to folk punk and I have a feeling you wouldn't want that on your playlist haha. most of it isn't exactly comforting in the way I was going for with this one anyway

Art used on the cover can be found here! And uh I have rambling under the cut its some more music recommendations and me going bonkers

Hope you enjoy phil! -za

OKAY okay so home from the undertale soundtrack was added mostly on accident but it kinda worked and my friends bullied me into keeping it. pay back for me going bonkers in their dms and forcing them to vc with me so i could play music at them probably lol

I was gonna add Bruno Major his stuff felt too modern [if that makes sense] for the playlist so i didn’t add him but his music just is a vibe! Nothing and Home are some of my favorites from him.

The Head and The Heart got cut (along with a bunch of other stuff) because my friend said wow uh I think almost fifty songs is a bit much for a request playlist so uhm yeah. Honeybee or People Need A Melody are my personal faves from them, so uh give those a listen if you want.

Hollowcoves probably would've fit but uh I'll be honest I just forgot until like 3 seconds ago that it existed. uhm uhm uhm These Memories is good! Give that a listen if you want.

Roland Faunte’s stuff is good but it’s sadder and idk didn’t know if you’d like that stuff on your playlist. I recommend listening to Brick by Brick (I linked to my favorite recording of it the acoustic extended version :D)

Danny Schmidt's music is pretty neat! This to Shall Pass is what I'll recommend, but his music is pretty varied and all of it is good in my opinion

I haven't listened enough to Defiance Ohio to properly give them a full hearted recommendation but I really like You are Loved! You might like it too

Amigo the Devil is dark folk not the vibe for this playlist but one you might enjoy if you don’t mind talk of stuff like murder and that darker type of subject material. Different Anymore is my favorite that's my recommendation

Also uh warning for darker material and its like barely even related to your playlist at this point but American Murder Song is a folk band! They write murder ballads (i think thats what its called) and all their stuff is related to american history! Lullaby is the song stuck in my head rn, they definitely have catchier songs though. damn im really out here like yeah there's catchier songs about murder out there. uhm augh sorry I just wanted to talk about them I can't get my friends to listen to them with me :/

[burningcomputerpersona]

Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals. 💌💜

Ahh thanks for the ask!! This one's from my easycore playlist and I hope y'all like it! I've also included my favorite lyrics for each song bc why not lol

and now it feels like we just can't stop anymore even if we tried

we're not changing the world, we're making it right

whatever you want in this only life, can we just be proud tonight

let me hope now, let me start again, take it away, forget my name

over again, this is how it goes, every story's made before it's told

sad enough to say that alone i could barely light a match, but together we can burn this place down

sorry about the mess but when we team up, team up, we always seem to bring this place to the ground

ive seen the best and worst of you, but we're sticking through

because without all of the ups and downs we've been through

you know that it's true that i could really be sick and tired of you

ive been asleep at the wheel for the past three years and it's too late to wake up

i never thought id live to see my best laid plans crumble right in front of me

is it my destiny to fail, ive been at this for years and to no avail

the universe has spoken and it won't rest til my spirit's broken

so here's to all the years ive wasted, i never thought i could become this jaded

sometimes the people we admire aren't always who they seem to be

they hide behind a facade of smoke and mirrors with broken smiles and yellow teeth

and only a monster would think to use a second chance as a weapon, there's no excuse

i fear my world is under water, and i. can't. breathe.

i fear my world is under water, my fears consuming me

drift away to a place thats not so harrowing

to the back plate of my mind, digging up what's left to find

with the bar set way too high for me, im bound to sink uncomfortably

im tongue tied inside with a little bit of lust mixed in to mold myself this solitude

i live in pretend like im never gonna need a friend again, ill keep myself intact

[f0mgl3]

this post had SOO much attention i should have known i would be posted here too LOL. i explained in detail why i think abigail was not the campwhore multiple times so im just gonna copy and paste from twitter! if you read the whole thread there, its gonna just be repeating things and adding more stuff. also, this is gonna be LONG.

keep in mind i am not arguing with anyone nor i am being disrespectful!! i just dont agree with this so im explaining my point of view.

heres the detailed answer:

what I need people to understand is that back then, the Van Der Linde gang actually helped people. Dutch, Hosea and Arthur used to help the poor by stealing from the rich. Arthur became a wanted man because of a major bank robbery back in 1887 and made $5000 in gold. After the bank robbery, they literally went to town, going to hovels, shanties, and orphanages and they gave out the money they made in the robbery to those people in need. It's a huge point made in the game actually, and its the reason why they arent as big as the O'Driscolls. They're not as big as the O'Driscolls or Lemonye Riders because they're not supposed to be like them. They're not supposed to rob from the poor or rape and kill the innocents, they're meant to have morals and fight for what's right. They're supposed to fight for a better world.

Dutch used to care for whats right and whats wrong. There's actually a scene in the game where LH Arthur tells Sadie there was a time he robbed an innocent man and Dutch lost his shit over it. He got mad at Arthur and told him they don't take advantage of people in need. It's also the reason why most members are in the gang. Dutch literally helps them and takes them in to give them a better chance at life. We saw it with Sadie. He saw her losing everything and took her in without question. And the reason why Dutch ACTUALLY helped and took people in is up for debate because he's a very complicated character. It might be because he used to be caring, or it might be because he wanted people to follow him and took them in when they were in need for them to be loyal. But thats not the point here. The point is how he presented himself. He was the man who fought for a better world. It's why he took John in, and it's why he took Abigail in. He saw them in need and gave them a chance at life. He saved John from hanging, and Abigail from S/A (ILL COME TO THAT WAIT A BIT)

It's also why it took Arthur such a long time to actually see Dutch for who he was/who he became. Arthur kept hoping for things to go back to normal. Blackwater was their downfall, but they were doing things differently for a long time. They were not living, they were surviving. Dutch was getting reckless and the law was getting stubborn, they stopped giving money to the poor because they had to focus on surviving. It's not easy to feed and take care of about 20 people while you're on the run from the law.

There's a camp event in which John is talking about how he's feeling very guilty about the things they were doing now, and Arthur's response to that is something like: "Remember when we actually used to help people?" It's the reason why Javier and Bill sided with Dutch. It's the reason why the gang members stayed with Dutch until the 6th chapter. They noticed Dutch slowly losing it, but they believed it was because of the stress, and he would go back to normal soon. It's the reason why Dutch was adored by almost everyone. He was the man fighting for change in a very brutal and cruel world. It's literally a huge point in the story. Him going against everything he once fought for.

Abigail wasn't taken advantage of in the gang. Uncle probably saw her in a bar, doing what she needed to get money in a man's world, and he took her to camp because he knew Dutch wouldnt refuse. The gang literally saved her from child prostitution, she was NOT the camp whore. They call themselves bad men because they do bad things to do whats right. Not just for the sake of it. The gang has morals. Literally take any member in the gang to ride with you in the game and kill someone totally innocent, they get mad and ask you what the fuck is wrong with you. They do that because that is not how they do things. The idea of Abigail being the campwhore also doesn't make sense exactly because of this. Hosea and Arthur (and almost any other member, but I said these two because they have power) would NOT even allow it even if you doubt Dutch.

okay. so the detail answer is this. but afterwards i also added some more opinions on this whole thing to explain it to someone else. the reasons imma give now are more spesific so i think theyre a lot more convincing

someone said she was a campwhore because of

-interactions from the camp

-bill in rdr1

-john in rdr2 because he doesn't believe Jack is his son

-so my answer to that is abigail was a working girl before she joined the gang. so yes, she was one, but it was when she was a child and it was to make money because she didn't have anybody she could rely on. with the gang taking care of her, there was no reason for her to continue

-bill and john are enemies in rdr1. and bill is very aware of what abigail had to do to survive, and he knows john is protective. at this point bill hates john, so he's just insulting his wife for the sake of it. an insult being accurate doesnt matter when you wanna hurt someone. bill was just simply insulting abigail to make john was upset. when you wanna truly hurt someone, you say things that arent true just for the sake of it. same goes with dutch

-in rdr2, it's just john that says jack is not his son. everyone else is very sure jack is his. arthur is sure. dutch is sure, hosea is sure... and i think deep down john knows thats his son too, but he is just scared to be a father so he's avoiding responsibility.

and that someone also brought up miss grimshaw's interaction with abigail in which she wants abigail to sell herself again. which, by the way, has NOTHING to do with her being a campwhore. miss grimshaw was talking about what she used to do BEFORE she joined the gang. she wants abigail to make money FOR the gang, and her being a campwhore would mean she would get paid BY the men in the gang. that would make them lose money. grimshaw wasnt talking about that. because abigail being the campwhore would only benefit the men in the gang sexually. miss grimshaw wants money so it doesnt make sense for her to want abigail to be the campwhore again. it just doesnt work that way. she was talking about what abigail did before the gang. (plus im not even sure if she'd get paid for being a campwhore) miss grimshaw is saying all that cause shes simply weird sometimes lol

heres something extra:

another reason why i hate the "abigail was the campwhore" idea is because it puts other women in danger too. the easiest example is tilly. she was even younger than abigail when she met the gang. she was an orphan with nobody to look after her, and thats exactly why they took her in. they didn't gain anything from taking her in. in fact, she was another mouth to feed. but they took her in anyway because she was in need and they were the "robin hood" figures. when people say the gang took advantage of abigail because they were that kind of men, it puts tilly in danger too and there's nothing in the game that could imply such a thing. and its not just tilly. marybeth was also young. and its not just the women either. arthur and john were also kid orphans when they were taken in. how far is this gonna go? its disgusting

hopefully my points are made clear. also, OP, when you read my tweets and disagree with me, instead of posting here please go and comment under my tweet and let us discuss things there. if i hadnt checked tumblr i wouldnt have seen this post and i wouldnt have defended my opinion so im kinda upset lol. have a goood day

also i did NOT romanticize abigails prostitution why the hell would you think that

Every time someone in this fandom romanticizes Abigail's prostitution, an angel looses its wings.

I can’t believe this still needs to be said, but let’s clear something up: Abigail Roberts was not “saved” by the Van der Linde gang out of the goodness of their hearts. She was a 17-year-old working girl. Yes, a prostitute—brought into the gang by Uncle because of her profession, not because they wanted to “help an orphan girl.” Pretending otherwise is not just wrong, it’s an insult to her character and completely misrepresents the darker themes of the game.

“They wouldn’t take advantage of a 17-year-old girl!” Really? These are men who rob, kill, and lie without hesitation. They absolutely would and did take advantage of her. Dutch was not some saintly father figure; he was an opportunist who saw value in people only as long as they served his needs. The gang didn’t “rescue” Abigail, they exploited her vulnerabilities and used her just like they used everyone else.

Even within the game, there’s a camp interaction where Susan Grimshaw tells Abigail she should return to prostitution to bring in more money for the gang. If that doesn’t make it clear how the gang viewed her role, I don’t know what will.

Abigail’s story isn’t some fairy tale about a group of noble outlaws saving an orphan. It’s about survival in a brutal, unforgiving world. She didn’t have a choice in staying with the gang. This idea that the gang was Robin Hood-like and only “stole from the rich to give to the poor” doesn’t erase the fact that they were still criminals who exploited people whenever they could, including Abigail.

The game wants you to sit with the uncomfortable truths of these characters. It shows you the dark realities of their actions and the systemic issues of the time. Romanticizing Abigail’s situation or painting the gang as her saviors completely undermines that. It’s not just naïve...it’s flat-out wrong.

This kind of take isn’t just ignorant; it’s borderline insulting to anyone who’s been in a similar situation. Abigail’s story is powerful because it’s not pretty. She was used, exploited, and forced to live a life she didn’t choose—but she fought tooth and nail to survive and make a better life for Jack. That’s what makes her compelling, not some sugar-coated fantasy about her being “rescued.”

Take off the rose-colored glasses and actually think critically about what the game is showing you. Abigail’s resilience is what makes her an incredible character—not some fake narrative about Dutch and the gang being her saviors. They weren’t.

It’s fine to love the characters, but stop twisting their stories to fit some idealized version of the gang. They’re criminals. Abigail was exploited by them. That’s the truth, and nothing about it is going to be pretty.

Abigail deserves way more respect than this.

[fixfoxnox]

Can’t stop thinking some ideas that popped up in my head last night for the Camboy/streamer AU because i was working late and needed something to keep me sane

- Roach being a smaller streamer and announced he would be having a Subathon and Ghost accidentally (it was not an accident, he’s a simp) donated him too much money and now poor roach has 72 hours worth of stream time mere minutes after he started streaming, he didn’t expect to go that long nor actually getting that much money in one sitting (literally he just sat down) and he’s sitting there frozen in place because why did Ghost, THE GHOST donated so much money, he asks if it was an accident and he would gladly return the money if it was, and ghost who has never spoken in chat before revealed that nope; he’s just…supportive of smaller streamers ( a huge roach simp)

- Roach found out that Ghost/Soap follows his spicy twitter (works for OF too but i have no idea how OF works lol) so he puts on their merch and may have had a little TOO much fun with his photo shoots and his little uh…spicy Video may have accidentally gone viral in the Ghost/Soap community and people are FREAKING OUT, there’s copy cats for other streamers too and Roach almost gets a heart attack one morning when #dicksfortwitchstreamers goes viral and a censored version of his tweet was the top post on the Top twitter Page

Some smaller stuff that i couldnt see fitting in the AU

- Soap convincing Ghost (or vice versa) to join a dating show online, and he someone chooses someone that to the community is really toxic and only joined the game to gain popularity, and while Ghost has no intention of getting to know the person, it didn’t stop roach from absolutely SLAMMING the ever living fuck out of the person in his alt account, and for a bit of Angst, add roach in that dating show too and Ghost turns him down out of pure shyness cause he couldn’t even talk to Roach nor look at him in the eyes without going beet red

- Roach, Ghost and Soap in a compilation together, thats how they found out about him, could be for a video titled “Streamers with Thich accent” or “Cutest Twitch Couples (and its of Jackson and Roach / Price and Gaz/Ghost and Soap of course)”

Now on to the “Ghost is reborn but due not wanting to pursue the same career becomes a streamer instead” streamer/camboy AU

- found Roach by accident while going through the COD tag, Roach is playing the game for the first time and he goes into the stream just as Roach gets shot and he almost goes into cardiac arrest when he hears Roach scream (I know Roach didn’t say anything but lets pretend he did) he actually had to go to the hospital for his panic attack though, doctors still trying to convince him he doesn’t have PTSD (yeah right u fucks)

- as much as ghost wants to ignore this Roach in favour of trying to convince his own roach to join him, there’s just something about the idea of letting go of the past and continuing to live in a universe in which both of them would find comfort and happiness with the same people they once knew

- on one of Roach’s chill stream he mentions he would like to get a tattoo one day, he’s deadly afraid of needles though, maybe he’ll get one if someone holds his hands though :> this is when their friendship had blossomed quite a bit so Ghost goes to his chat to say he would hold his hands, in any universe (and he will never let it go, never)

Reading the top part: 🥰

Getting down to the Ghost remembers part: 🥲😭

I love the idea of Ghost justgetting so hasty to donate to Roach that he

A) Donates way too much without thinking and

B) Forgets to switch to his alt account when he does it sjjdjfjfjfj

I can just see chat losing their mind and Roach is just staring at the screen completely frozen and when Ghost gives his stressed excuse of "I just like to support smaller streamers" within a week people are calling him out like "You've never donated to anyone else 🤨" and he just refuses to address what happened shshshsh

Stealing the Roach dressing in their merch for some of his content idea because YES

It would happen later in the au and he finds out but can't get them to admit it so he starts doing things like that to try to send hints/get them to confess and he's like "Oh I'm sorry I just grabbed something 😇" and when the video goes viral he can literally see Ghost and Soap struggling lmao

Bonus points if he's in the room with them when they find the video on Twitter and gets to watch them have a meltdown while trying not to show it AH

Also I literally have to write the compilation idea as a non-canon oneshot now. I already love Ghost and Soap being jealous of Jackson cause he's in all the videos, but if they think Roach and Jackson are dating before they ever find his content? Then fall for him while thinking they're dating??? THE DRAMA! THE JEALOUSY!

I can just imagine like a video comes out of Jackson somewhere kissing someone or something (just like a fun one time thing for him) and Ghost and Soap are royally pissed on behalf of Roach and even more pissed when Roach posts another video with Jackson. They think Jackson managed to convince Roach to stay with him and they end up making a bunch of passive aggressive tweets about it or something

Drama channels are eating it up and when Roach realizes the tweets are about Jackson he's pissed because that's his best friend tf? JUST THE CONCEPT MAN AH

Also adore the internet dating show idea so much like I can just see Ghost getting to the end with Roach and this other person and he chooses the other person cause he's too nervous to get any further with Roach.

Roach is absolutely heartbroken but he's still like "well I want him to be happy and have a good date" then the video of Ghost and this other person's date comes out and its so clear that there had to be HEAVY editing done to make it seem even slight normal and even with the editing everyone can tell that this other person was bring a bit of a dick to Ghost.

The internet is pissed, naturally, and Roach literally goes radio silent on his main account, but is making the most insane rants on his alt account about how shit this person was and how he (Roach) would have never treated Ghost like that. He literally ends up getting his act account banned from the other persons twitch chat because he is in there cyber bullying to the max.

A few months later when the other persons internet career has essentially failed and gone stagnant, when someone asks him about it on chat the clip of his smug and way too satisfied reaction goes viral ajdjdjjd

For Ghost Remembering Specifically:

God the idea of him getting so excited to find Roach only to immediately have to deal with a PTSD trigger just...oh man. And you know that he probably ended up taking time off from streaming and everything for a bit after and was essentially just dealing with the sudden memories and rise of paranoia and anxiety on his own. Soap helps a bit but he doesn't understand and Ghost doubts he would believe him if he did tell him. God...I feel so bad for him man.

He tried to stay away from Roach's stream but after another conversation with SiTO Roach he just needs to see him. He just needs to see a version of the man he loved being happy and not weighed down by what happened. Roach's streams quickly turn from a trigger for him into a form of comfort to come down from things. If he can see that Roach is happy and alive it helps him work through everything.

With the tattoo thing 😭 I know when they eventually get together they do go get a matching tattoo and within like two weeks there are compilations of Ghost touching the tattoo when he gets nervous or stressed or just needs to calm down.

I also had an idea for Ghost who remembers: he gets like invited to do one of those streamer fights things against a super toxic streamer and he says no cause like...he has a whole life of military experience that he's actually kept up with training wise and he is not going to put someone through it. Then the other streamer makes a video or something shit talking and Ghost is still like insisting he's not going to do it even when his community is pissed. Roach doesn't understand why he's so against it but supports him and ends up like briefly mentioning the situation on one of his streams.

That clip of Roach talking about it and very kindly dissing the toxic streamer goes viral and the toxic streamer responds with yet another video shit talking Ghost, but this time he fucks up and brings Roach into it. Ghost sees the video and see's this Toxic streamers wanna be alpha male community shitting on Roach and he gets pissed. Though he doesn't want to rise to taunts, you absolutely do not fuck with his bug and get away with it. He calls the people back and says he's changed his mind if they still want him to do it.

Naturally he absolutely sweeps the floor with and humiliates the other streamer

GUYS I LOVE THE STREAMER/CAMBOY AU

[meimeikyu]

YIPPEE YIPPEEEE OKAY!!! (these r copy n pasted from my dms bcs i rambled about them a bunch :3) PLEASE ENJOY

so a bunch of rambles about them (mostly error) GO!! (under cut bcs. so many)

PLS FEEL FREE TO SEND ME ASKS ABOUT THEM I LOVE THEM <3

basically bcs error is fucky glitchy its body isnt always a stable form? it uses errors body to keep a more consistent existence but the body is still extremely glitchy bcs of it. this leads to it being able to manipulate the body and its form and it uses that power to fuck with ppl!! sometimes it just. doesnt care enough to keep the body stable so itll lead to it getting extra parts or joints or losing some and it has to consciously restablize to fix it. this also means it doesnt really have a boundary on injuries or things? like yes the physical form can bleed n break and get injured and it can feel it but it doesnt really hurt it in the same way and it can just kinda fix it as needed! it also doesnt really have a limit on how far it can bend its joints bcs of this and it uses that to fuck with ppl

ink has a similar concept tbh bcs of his lack of soul! his body is his only physical form and he cant manipulate it in the same way but he can very easily fix it by painting it back on and no injuries will ever be permanent bcs he can just paint over and fix them! can u tell i love ink n error having parralells n being built from similar concepts yet being so different n. yeah i love them

The duo ever

also!! if any piece of inks body is seperated for any reason it just desolves into ink and ink will paint a new one on, whereas errors will stay (although start glitching out way more) and it just kinda. puts them back. I need to draw my error but ye theres a reason its covered in stitch marks :3

i try to make them both so weird n not human in my au and its why i love them so much they r so WRONG they are such caricatures of the human form and they will never be correct and they will never be fully people again and they never were in the first place and yet theres a loss of humanity and. an i love them

see they need to be besties bcs although there r other gods none of them are Wrong™ in the same way they r

like yeah they will fight to the death sometimes but neither of them are capable of dying and they know that so like 20 minutes (or maybe 6 days? neither of them have any good consistent concept of time bcs. of the horrors) they just kinda are like lol ok now that thats done wanna hang out

see they r both like. impossibly not human bcs they both USED to be people. or part of them did. their physical forms were people that gave their souls and became them. but also a massive part of them is the universe and the creators themselves. the other gods may be connected to the outside yes but they are FUSED with it themselves and it means they will never be whole and they will never be sane bcs how could you be when you are both a creation in the world and the creator at the same time and you have a million stories and times running through your mind at any given moment and you can comprehend the vastness and yet smallness of youre entire world because you exist beyond it and yet are physically a part of it that can never escape. and yet you have memories of when you WERE people and were "yourself" but you were also never that person and were always this mass of things beyond comprehension given form and fused to those people and. how can there be a you when there is so much at the same time.

yeah this post is basically my philosophy behind them

YEAH PLEASE ENJOY THESE RAMBLES I LOVE MY GUYS SO MUCH BITES THEM PLS FEEL FREE TO ASK ABOUT THEM <3333

hey guys wanna hear about festivalverse error and ink

[peachyninjago]

cursed prince 📁 !

okay so. i actually have the entire plot for this (messily) laid out bc i was talking about it w emi so i just copy and pasted it uwviwgiw. here you go <3

~

THIS IS HARD TO EXPLAIN WITHOUT A LOT OF BACKSTORY BC ITS ACTUALLY?? KIND OF A COMEDY???

but, to summarize, Morro's the prince of the cursed realm!! or the so-called 'prince.'

all of the 16 realms have a prince/princess/ruler (ex: Lloyd for Ninjago, Akita for the Never Realm, perhaps Wu for the First Realm). A new ruler is chosen whenever the previous dies.

...or is sent to a new realm ;]

rulers basically speak for their entire realm!! they keep peace and harmony btwn all 16.

NOW. for morro. ..hes, uh. like I said; hes not Actually the Cursed Realms prince.

the real Cursed Realm ruler hasn't shown, even though its previous, (idk who the previous is lol) has died. (again.)

..BUT. morro (who was SUPPOSED to be Ninjago's prince) was accidentally killed at a VERY younge age (im talking like. 2. any older and he'd be taken to be taught how to rule), and somehow got sent to the cr because of it.

now, the Preeminent- whos a Lot Less evil and a Lot More stressed- sees this young kid with the marks of a ruler (DID I MENTION THE RULERS HAVE MARKS ON THEIR SKIN?? THEY HAVE MARKS ON THEIR SKIN UACUACUA)- and just goes 'oh Ninjago didn't want him?? shit I'll take him.'

and basically morro is raised believing hes the cursed realms prince?? when hes really Not. idk. imagining how funny itd be for the rulers meeting to come and you got this room full of powerful near godlike ppl and then theres just. Morro :)

no, the other rulers Don't realize he's not a 'real' prince. (okay. maybe the older ones do? wu definitely does, but he doesn't mind lol.)

and and also just bc I want them to, Lloyd and morro are best friends in this. their realms might by Complete Opposites but that will Not stop them from being besties (that secretly consider each other family)

i mean. the truth is probably revealed Eventually, but idk if i want it to go Full Funny (no one cares that Morro isn't 'actually' a prince, he does a damn good job for his realm) or for there to be some Real Angst (Morro has a HUGE identity crisis, all 16 realms are in dissaray and near war over this development, the ppl of Ninjago say that Lloyd shouldn't affiliate with morro anymore...)

OK THATS ALL I GOT FOR THAT ONE!! AGAIN ITS MOSTLY CUTE FUNNY HAHA :DDD

[shanastoryteller]

Questions about outlines: How detailed are they? Are they the same level of detail or do they vary? How do you make your outlines? Chronologically scene by scene? Or do you come up with the scenes that call you and then come up with smaller filler scenes to fill in the gaps? Do you have outlines for each chapter? Or just for the larger general plot points? Do you try to complete the outlying before starting the fic? Or do you add to the outline as you go? Sorry if this is to many at once

lmao okay i got several asks about outlines but i’m just going to answer this one because it’s ~comprehensive~

every writing teacher i’ve ever had has hated my outlines. my friends find them incomprehensible.

if people are going to look at my answers as ways to do their own outlines, i have to say: that’s probably not a good idea

i don’t write outlines a majority of the time

i don’t write outlines to plan a story i’ve already decided to write

i write outlines primarily as a way to exorcise story ideas that i want to write but don’t want to actually commit to writing (answer prompts are another way i do this lol)

now, some things do get outlines as a way to plan and organize. survival is a talent has an outline because it’s 400k and spans six years. child king had an outline. needy’s body had an outline. 

b u t

i’m currently writing rotten work without an outline

lynchpin didn’t have an outline

hope is the thing with feathers didn’t have an outline

never grow a wishbone only had an outline for the first couple of chapters 

an invincible summer didn’t get an outline until like. chapter 4 of 6. 

i just. uh. think about what i want to happen and then hope i remember to write it down. even when i do an outline, i’ll deviate from it wildly, and not update it to reflect that, because i know what i’m doing (ha!)

so! with that in mind, let’s go! 

How detailed are they? Are they the same level of detail or do they vary?

they vary! but honestly - not very. sometimes i’ll write out a paragraph or bits of dialogue that are important to me, but most of the time it’s just broad strokes of what i want to happen, or a mechanism of how something complicated happens. like i have several paragraphs in my siat outline dealing with necromancy books, but like. two sentences on how they actually occur in the story because that’s just something i’m trusting myself to figure out when i sit down to write it.  

 How do you make your outlines? Chronologically scene by scene? Or do you come up with the scenes that call you and then come up with smaller filler scenes to fill in the gaps? 

I try to put them chronologically, although sometimes that’s a little hard (in siat i have several scenes that i know will happen, i just don’t know when). that is something i will go back and edit on my outlines, is if i’ve changed the order the something happens i’ll go back and copy and paste until my outlines is in the right order. but only if the outlines is something i’m actually using to write and the story is longer than a couple of chapters. 

because my outlines are so very not detailed, i just write down what it is that i want to write, like the reason i’m going to write this or want to write this, and figure out the rest later. i’ll fill it in later - or i won’t! because most of the time i don’t use my outline to actually write the story, and i use it more as an idea list, so if i don’t know what happens between scenes or i find it boring i just won’t write it down

like, for example, here is my “outline” for won’t even plant a garden in it’s entirety 

weep as a woman

“you weep as a woman weeps.” “and how is that?” “as if the future rests on your hips, and you must walk it forward.”

crowley and eve were friends. cain killed abel with the flaming sword, and crowley begged them to say it was with a rock instead

crowley was raphael the painter and fucked michelangelo

crowley was there the night yeshua was born, was friends with mary, helped raise yeshua?

ghosts

crowley and anathema and joan of arc

i ended up dropping most of this and crowley ended up sleeping with both eve and yeshua as the major plot points. i don’t explain stuff, really. i know what i mean so i just don’t bother to get very detailed most of the time. 

Do you have outlines for each chapter? Or just for the larger general plot points?

siat i divide up by year, and i think i did it by chapter for the last two chapters of build your wings on the way down, but otherwise it’s just one long list. i do my chapters based on words counts rather than content, so outlining by chapter doesn’t really make sense for me (siat is always around 15k a chapter, and everything else  i do these days thats multi chapter is around 8k because that’s the best, but ngawb was 5k a chapter and i think for child king it was around 11k a chapter)

Do you try to complete the outlying before starting the fic? Or do you add to the outline as you go?

I’m constantly adding as a i go! my outlines are never really “complete” they’re just abandoned. i write down what i think will help me and tend to ignore the rest. sometimes i just. talking to myself in my outlines when i’m trying to think something through. 

my outline for child king is under the cut because that’s one that’s a good mix of stuff i kept and stuff i threw out. DON’T JUDGE ME!! bad ideas don’t get written because they’re bad!! it’s part of the ~process~ 

child king

Summary: “A child king is still a king,” Deaton says softly. “A child king is still a child,” he snaps, but he knows this is an argument he’s already lost.  – Stiles is a born alpha, and after the Hale fire, things get real complicated, real fast.

Stiles’s mom is the last remaining human from a pack that was destroyed by hunters. John is the one that helps her after, so he knows everything. When they move to beacon hills she doesn’t feel the need to say anything to the hale pack, because as far as they’re concerned she’s just a human, and she doesn’t want to get involved in pack business. But then stiles is born with red eyes. The doctor is quiet and scared john and Claudia freak out, but it’s because he’s a werewolf, which is a relief to parents because they thought something was wrong with their kid. Maybe they don’t know he’s an alpha, only that he’s a wolf? Or they know and they keep it a secret on purpose

Claudia is the one to approach mrs. Hale. She tells her that her son is a born werewolf, but that she’s not interested in joining their pack. Her husband is a new deputy and they just bought a house but they’ll move if they have to. “he’ll need a pack one day. It’s safer,” she says. “if he wants to join you one day, I won’t stop him. But that’s not a choice I’m willing to make for him.” Mrs hale agrees that they can say separate as in exchange for the sheriff smoothing over some ruffled feathers no and again. They agree. Claudia to sheriff “we’re going to have to move one day. Our son is an alpha, and he’ll need to make his own pack.”

Stiles is seven the first time he snarls at his mom, eyes flashing red, and she freezes. She’s got the pack instinct, it doesn’t matter that hes her kid, hes still her alpha, so its hella awkward. John can see how this will quickly spiral out of control if they can discipline their own kid. But stiles is the one to back down first, apologizing and doing as he’s told. There are careful power structures here, and this is the beginning of differentiating between stiles the human and stiles the wolf.

When his mom gets sick, stiles offers to turn her. Hale offers to turn her. She refused for Reasons that I have to figure out. Maybe the politics of it? Wanting to protect stiles and not wanting to become part of the hale pack

The fire happens. John ships stiles the hell out of dodge, because there are hunters about. He snoops around enough to figure out it was kate argent, but theres not really anything he can do about it

Scott knows about everything, and tries to tell his mom in a really akward way that they should trust stiles if they’re ever in danger, but she just laughs it off. Except when someone breaks in and threatens her with a gun, and she manages to make a phone call, it’s not 911, not john, but stiles, and she doesn’t even know why, regrets it as soon as it happens. But then stiles shows up and breaks both of the guys, eyes glowing red, and then calls his dad and scott to take care of it, because they’re humans, so they get human punishments. Melissa is told everything.

Scott has a bad asthma attack and, and Melissa asks about the bite. Scott is itching for it. He wants it so badly. Stiles has already promised to turn them when they turn 18, and Melissa knows that. She asks if theres a reason to wait, and the answer is nah, not really. So he gets the bite. Stiles being like uh psa punishments cant include scott staying away

After hale fire and stiles gets back, he’s shocked that hey just left, and that they left peter behind. He starts visiting peter several times a week. He tells his dad that they should pay for his medical care. They have a fuckton of money because his mom inherited all the pack wealth, and john doesn’t touch it because that’s stiles’s money, that’s werewolf money. But this is a werewolf thing, so he agrees. “his pack left him dad.”

Stiles bites Erica when they’re 14. Some point in middle school stiles wises up to the Isaac thing and tells his dad he needs to arrest his dad, or stiles is going to kill him, and he’s not even a little bit joking. Stiles hears Isaac crying while going by the house? In johns squad car. Makes them pull over, then bursts into the house. John goes with it because his son’s eyes are red.

Some point after the hales leave, things start trying to move into hale territory. Some wolves? Stiles smells them, and ends up at 10 years old telling them to fuck off. This how scott finds out? He’s with scott and his dad. Deaton is facing off against something? Panics when stiles intervenes, but stiles goes wolfy and red eyes and is like. This is mine now fuck off. Looks at the hale house, and finally says, we have to take care of this. We have to. But they don’t own the house or the land or any of it. They do … something

Stiles ends up having to deal with a lot of crap real young

Stiles has scott and Isaac when peter wakes up. Stiles is there, and peter isn’t crazy because he wasn’t abandoned to die alone. Stiles says he can stay, or he can go, not trying to pressure anything. Peter chooses to become part of stiles’s pack, because his family is either dead or abandoned him. Peter ends up moving in with them as he finishes healing and to get used to being in a pack and with stiles. It’s very strange for john, but it’s a werewolf thing and he’s trying to be supportive. After a couple months, stiles tells his dad that having peter is a relief, that there’s finally someone who knows things, someone older who can support him as a werewolf. Peter acts as his second, and he finally has some degree of authority that age has lost him. Stiles has peter take care of the hale house. Peter and stiles have the conversation, where peter is like the hale land is your land now. You’re the alpha of beacon hills. He does what stiles directs him to.

Isaac is living with scott under stiles’s direction ish. But lots of Melissa. Isaac like I don’t wantto be afraid anymore, I don’t want to hurt anymore, and stiles is like. Okay. We’ll fix this. But he doesn’t bite Isaac until he goes to a shitton of therapy and has mostly sorted himself out. For isaac’s fifteenth birthday, he bites him.

Erica is spur of the moment, it’s something that all instinct and very little thought. OR they’re dating and it happesn? Erica’s parents suck. Stiles doesn’t want the balancing act of being boyfriend and alpha.

Jackson is so fucking desperate to belong to something. He nags and nags and nags and finally stiles bites him at least half to shut him up.

“dad can I talk to you about something weird and uncomfortable and a little creepy” talks about crush on Lydia, and how he’s not sure if its because he has a crush on her or if it’s bc he thinks she’ll be good for the pack. Lydia joins before Jackson, and she’s the one that pushes stiles into it. Lydia and stiles are not dating, but she’s clearly high in the hiarchey.

Boyd? Just like. Shows up. Idk.

So by the time laura and derek show up, stiles’s pack is: john, Melissa, peter, Lydia, Jackson, danny, Isaac, boyd, Erica, deaton (who’s acting as emissary but is training danny). Maybe bring in some later characters, like malia and kira and cora. Ooooh maybe the twins show up before they became alphas, still run aways and looking for something else? Stiles takes them on. Stiles finds malia early on after the fire

Peter is willing to forgive derek but he has a lot of shit with laura. Stiles agrees to let laura and derek stay and not be part of his pack, although laura insists she doesn’t need his permission. She snaps at peter to come home with them, and he looks at her like she’s insane. He says there’s no hale pack, and if there was, he’s not interested. He’s a stillinkski wolf now. Cora too maybe? Double blow. Peter owns the hale land, and he makes it clear the day stiles turns 18 he’ll be signing it over to him. Stiles is known by the surrounding packs.

Stiles has to somehow defend the surrounding area, has to make it clear he’s his and that he’s not willing to give it up. It’s valuable land. People are going to come looking for it once people figure out it’s abandoned. When deaton finds out stiles is an alpha, he goes around as an emissary to the surrounding packs. Saying that its under stiles now. He’s known to them so it goes mostly uncontested. This is when he and the sheriff have the child king conversation.

Stiles tries really, really hard to be a good alpha. That means controlling the territory, and working with other packs when members go rouge or something goes wrong. He’s thirteen the first time he goes to lend a hand in a fight, and it’s young, it’s too young, but he’s an alpha. He has to do this, to maintain the peace. And the thing is – stiles is good at this, good at not pushing, at not using his status as a crutch or an excuse, instead as a tool.

Maybe this is why no one cares for laura’s excuses. As much as laura wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility, she was an adult, if only barely. Stiles is a literal child, and in her absence shouldered it all. So even if she does technically have a claim, none of them are willing to honor it. “if you kill alpha stiles, you won’t have allies, you’ll have enemies.”

Allison and argents. Stiles brings his pack to kill kate. Gives peter the chance to do it himself, and is so very proud when he says no. but instead of letting her go free, stiles crushes her throat. “revenge would have been trapping you all in here and setting the whole thing on fire. Justice would have been making you watch as she burned alive. This was mercy, and don’t you forget it.” Scott is hella in love with Allison, but he knows this comes first. Her mom is full of hatred, but stiles more than makes it clear that he has no problem with killing her too.

Stiles sees derek soon after. They’ve already gone back and forth a lot. But he and laura weren’t there. Stiles tells him what he did. They have a ~moment~

Derek wants so very much to join stiles’s pack, but he doesn’t want to lose laura.

Something finally convinces laura to take the plunge and the stillinksi pack is one happy family

[sup-hoes-its-me]

Adore You (Yamato x Reader)

A/N: hi guys. Yamato is your secret admirer and you are desperate to find out who's been leaving all these gifts at your doorstep. Civilian reader. Will be two parts, and since i just found out i have the coronavirus and cant leave the house, i’ll be putting out the second part very soon.

Ps i headcanon that yamato would be very shy and awkward with his crush. i also think that when he is nervous he definitely has really sweaty hands. idk thats just the vibe i get from him lol. please enjoy.

Word count: 4500

Y/N walked down the street after a long day of working in the bakery, kneading dough and icing cakes and sweets. It was a great job, and she really enjoyed the company of the two elderly owners. In her arms was another small picnic basket filled with sourdoughs and garlic loaves and cinnamon raisin buns. Those leftovers served as her breakfast, lunch, and dinner most days and it saved a lot of money on groceries.

Sometimes, she gifted the bread to friends and family though, like tonight.

As she walked the bustling streets, people walking home from work for the night, she noticed a couple of familiar faces sitting in the windows of a nearby restaurant. Feeling a little social, she walked into the restaurant and turned the corner, walking through the tables and past other booths full of people talking and drinking. It was busy tonight in Konoha, everyone getting ready for the weekend.

She came to a stop beside their table, and shifted so her basket rested in the slight curve of her hip. With her free hand she waved to the men, a small smile gracing her lips.

“Kakashi, Yamato,” she chirped, “I saw you guys in the window on my way home from work and thought I’d stop in to say hello.”

“Y/N. What a pleasant surprise.” Kakashi hummed, peering over his glass of golden liquid at his friend, who he could tell was struggling to figure out what to say or do. Yamato wasn’t normally nervous; he was very cool headed. How else would he become such an important Anbu member? But around Y/N, this woman with flour dusted in her hair and the smell of cinnamon and chocolate on her clothes, he crumbled. Just that smell alone could make Yamato lose his composure. And Kakashi knew that very well. “As a matter of fact, we were just talking about you.”

Yamato coughed on his drink, covering his mouth with his arm to keep from spitting up on the table. Even if they were just talking about her, it was completely uncalled for for Kakashi to stab him in the back like that. He turned to face the young woman who looked down at him with curiosity in her eyes.

“Really? What about?” she questioned, raising a brow.

He averted his eyes to the table again where his hand rested clutching at the glass. “We were just discussing the bakery,” he explained sheepishly, a hand going to rub the back of his neck. He felt the stress coming on, and sweat was beginning to gather on his palms. He felt ill, and more importantly, upset with the friend sitting directly across from him, smirking under that damn mask.

What an evil bastard.

“Mind if I join you guys? I could definitely use a drink.” She motioned to the seat next to Yamato, and he scooted closer to the wall to make room for her. She made sure her basket was sealed and secure before reaching over the table to Kakashi. “Can you sit this next to you? I don’t wanna take up the whole table.”

“No problem.”

She slid into the seat beside Yamato, and he realized just how small their table really was. The chair was clearly made for one person, or maybe two small people. They were just inches away. He could literally feel the heat of her thigh beside his. He was losing his mind, he was sure of it. There was absolutely no reason to act or think this way just because of a woman, a little baker from the village. No reason. It was inappropriate.

He took a deep breath and sipped on his drink. Everything was cool. Y/N L/N was cool.

“What kind of goods are you bringing home tonight?” Yamato asked calmly.

“Uh, lets see. A sourdough loaf and a garlic rosemary loaf. Also, I have about eight cinnamon buns in there,” she listed off the top of her head, “Why? You wanna take some home with you, because that’s fine. I’m not gonna eat all of it.”

“No, not this time.”

“You, Kakashi?”

“Yeah, I’ll take whatever.” It was a free meal for the next day? How could he say no to that?

The waitress came around, and Y/N ordered a tall glass of some sweet drink, something she knew wouldn’t taste like shit but would get her all warm and cozy quick, fruit juice covering up the taste of poison. “So, what were you guys talking about before I came around? I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“It’s good you came around, actually. We could use a woman’s opinion here.” Yamato glared at Kakashi, pleading with everything he had for the copy nin to just leave it alone. Kakashi was set in his goals though, and pushed forward with what he was saying. “It’s about Tenzo.”

An even brighter smile grew on her lips, one full of mischief and curiosity. “Oohoho? I see. What’s got you men stuck?” She loved to gossip, it was just something so interesting in her mundane life. Surely, it wasn’t as interesting to shinobi who almost die all the time and always have something to do, but for a village girl who goes home every night to read and eat bread, and then go to work where she just makes and sells said bread, a bit of juicy personal information really intrigued her.

“It’s honestly not a big deal-”

“Our boy here, he’s got a crush.”

Her eyes widened and suddenly, she felt the urge to down even more of her drink. He was interested in someone? She never expected that. He was always so quiet and calm, and kept to himself. He didn’t seem like the type to ever care about someone in that way. She sighed, taking a long sip on her drink, which tasted like peaches and oranges. At least it was sweet enough to help her curb the impending sadness.

Maybe she was stupid for it, but she cared for Yamato. He was such a sweet and kind man, so earnest and gentle. He was everything good about her mornings, when he would walk in and ask for the same hot cross bun to start his day. He would smile and compliment the cake decorating she was working on, and tell her about his missions and what he had to do for the day.

Perhaps Y/N had the tiniest of crushes on Yamato. It was something she would never reveal to anyone else, but it was true. She couldn’t deny herself that fact.

Kakashi stared at the woman, gauging her reaction to the statement. From the way she immediately went to sip away half of the drink in her glass, and the way her shoulders curled in on themselves, he could guess how she was feeling. He wasn’t usually a fan of meddling in other people’s business, but he was beginning to feel tired of Yamato complaining day in and day out about how he could never get the girl or express his feelings. He was afraid of rejection, as sad as that might be.

He was just there to give them a push in the right direction.

“I see.”

“What do you think he should do? What do the civilian girls like?”

This crush was just another civilian. It would be one thing if he fell in love with a kunoichi, someone she would never be able to compete with, but the thought of him choosing another normal woman over her, the envy practically oozed from her pores. What did this other girl have that Y/N didn’t?

Y/N ordered another drink when the waitress walked by. And then another after she drank the second one. Might as well get more down and drown out these jealous thoughts.

Meanwhile, she listed off things that random women normally like when men do for them, things she didn't really care about like chocolates and asking them out to dinner and giving them stuffed animals. Boring things. Things they all already knew. Kakashi agreed that the advice was kinda bland, and he could have come up with that easily.

Yamato eyed her down nervously as she practically chugged the rest of her drink. The woman wasn’t a big drinker, just a couple innocent cocktails here or there, never with the intention of getting drunk.

“You okay, Y/N?”

“Yes, I’m perfectly fine,” she told him smoothly. “Anyway, I’m not done telling you all about us village girls.”

The third drink came by and she sighed, taking another long sip. At least it tasted good, that made it easy to drink and drink and drink.

“Maybe you should slow down.”

“Maybe you should worry about yourself. I’m grown. I can handle myself, Yamato.” He felt a pang in his chest at her sharp words, ones that he’d never really heard directed toward him. She scolded Kakashi on the daily for being a pervert, but only kind words met Yamato’s ears previously. “Anyway, about this girl. Have you tried getting her anything as a gift? The things I listed before? Love notes? That sorta thing?”

He shook his head. “Well, no. I haven’t tried anything yet.”

“That’s the thing about you, Tenzo. You’re so modest. If you want the girl, you need to go in and get her. You need to show her what she means to you, since you can’t bring yourself to just outright tell her.”

“The whole bold displays of affection aren’t my thing.”

She hummed, her head lolling from side to side as she twirled the straw of her drink in between her fingers. “Maybe you should try some roundabout approach since you’re so scared of rejection. Send her anonymous letters and gifts, give her little clues that it’s you and see how she reacts.”

“Like a secret admirer?"

“Exactly! That’s sooo romantic. I wish some guy would do that shit for me.”

Kakashi raised a brow. “Oh, really?”

“Of course. I’m almost 27 and I’ve never had a long lasting relationship. I just want some guy to really, I don’t know, just love me. Love who I am, not hook up with me for my body or-or only pretend to like me for coupons on bread,” she complained, quite loudly as well. “Fuck those guys and their bread discounts...”

“Y/N-”

“I’d suggest you do something like that for your crush. Make her feel like you really care about her mind and soul.” Y/N clutched her hand over her heart and squeezed the front of her dress. “So many men nowadays act like horny teenagers, and us ladies are sick of it.”

She really did not need to go into such detail, and Yamato could tell she was drinking too much. Y/N would never say these things aloud if she were completely in her right mind. He felt rude just sitting there letting her rant on and on, exposing her own feelings to the table. But at the same time, he was grateful to know what she wanted in a lover. She never really let on what her romantic life was like, other than single for the most part.

That is what he and Kakashi were discussing before she came around. He was desperate to sweep her off her feet and woo her, to make revealing his feelings easier. Kakashi told him to just go to the bakery and tell her right then and there, but that was just too bold. He wasn’t going to go in without a plan, it was irrational.

“Yamato, I’m telling you, if this woman rejects you, she’s fucking stupid. You’re a catch. You and Kashi over there, both of you could get any woman you want, and that’s a fact.” the woman waved her hand to emphasize her point, only to knock the rest of her fourth drink over into her lap, sticky syrup soaking into her apron and through to her skirt. “Oh man.”

“I think it’s time for you to head home, little miss Y/N,” Kakashi chimed in, “This is exactly why we don’t bring you to bars, you know.”

“Shush. I am fine.”

Yamato sighed, motioning with his hands for her to move to the edge of the seat. He rolled his eyes at her words, knowing she was talking out the ass. “Yeah, yeah. Just get up, Y/N. I’m taking you home.”

Both men were surprised when she lifted her hand and pushed him away from her. Her glare was intense, anger behind those eyes. “No! Not you. I want Kakashi to walk me home.” The man was taken aback by the harshness in her tone. She was normally calm tempered, but her head was spinning and she was obviously growing moody.

“That’s fine by me. Yamato, you’ll pick up the bill for us and uh, clean this mess, right?” Kakashi smirked as he slid out from the booth and picked up her bag of baked goods. She followed suit, climbing out of her seat and grabbing onto the shinobi’s arm tightly. He really couldn’t care any less about her nonsense. It had been so long since they became friends, he’d seen her in every mood imaginable, and much drunker than this. He’s walked her home more than a few times in their past years.

“Curse you, cheap-ass.”

“Gotta go.”

With that, the white haired man walked out the restaurant with a woman in tow. They lived in the same direction, so he started down the street as she stumbled after him, tripping occasionally on pebbles. He felt bad for his friend, really. But the answer was clear as day now. Y/N cared for Yamato a lot more than she let on. It was just up to one of them to make a move. He couldn't do everything for them.

She tripped along beside him, letting her head fall against his shoulder a few times. Her eyes slid up to the man’s masked face, and he felt her hands begin to quiver a bit around his arm, just a tiny bit, but it was still there. Those little, very-telling, tremors.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” he asked gently, knowing she would immediately spill whatever was stuck on her mind.

“Kashi, why does Tenzo want some other village girl?” she questioned, her cheeks puffing out and her eyes getting watery with tears. “Why doesn’t he want me? I want him so badly, it hurts right here.” she placed her free hand over her stomach and gagged. “I might throw up, it hurts so much.”

“Trust me, it’s gonna be okay,” he hushed, a tiny smile on his lips. He didn’t want to reveal too much to her, but it was just so amusing pulling the strings like this. Two of his friends, one a subordinate and the other a sneaky baker, falling for each other right in front of him. With all the work piling up, this was definitely a refreshing take.

“Also, you shouldn't throw up. It'll burn your throat, you know.”

She nodded, and just clutched onto her stomach as they made their way down the narrow alleyways toward her small apartment. He unlocked the door for her when she struggled to fit the key into the tiny hole that blurred together with everything else. He was a good friend, she thought, and made a mental note to thank him next time she saw him. Well, she tried to make a mental note, but when her body hit the mattress in the corner of her small studio, she found herself drifting away.

__________

God, her head hurt so badly she thought her skull was cracking open right then and there, as she lifted her head from her pillow. Light shined in through the window only to make things worse than before. She looked around the room and noticed that her coat was hung up properly on the hook and her shoes were sitting by the door. Her basket rested atop her counter.

Most importantly, on her nightstand sat a glass of water and a couple pills, ready for her to take the moment she woke up. Kakashi or Yamato must have walked her home and put her to bed. They were very nice men, she enjoyed having them as friends, she just worried she had made a drunken fool of herself last night in front of them. She rarely drank heavily, for that reason. She couldn’t even remember what happened, just that she met them at the restaurant and then the rest fell empty in her mind, little images blending together until she couldn’t decipher a thing that happened. She was more than ashamed.

How could she lose control of herself so casually, she wondered. She never even wanted to drink, much less enough to give her this searing headache. Something must have happened last night that influenced her decisions. Maybe she had a drinking contest with Kakashi like that one time before. If so, that was completely uncalled for on the man’s part. He knew her tolerance.

Nevertheless, she needed to get ready for work. A hangover wasn’t enough to heed the workings of the bakery.

She took the pills, and threw off her covers, walking over to her counter to take out one of the cinnamon rolls, taking a big bite to curb her hunger pains. After taking a moment to compose herself, she got ready for work. If she was late, she knew the owners would be forgiving, but she still felt bad regardless. She was going to walk in looking like a complete disaster.

As she headed out her door that morning, she stumbled on something sitting right at the foot of her doorstep on the welcome mat. Resting there, in a tiny little ceramic pot, stood a bonsai tree, trimmed and cared for perfectly. Her eyes scanned the area for who could have set it there, but met only empty space.

Hesitantly, she picked it up and brought it into her home. There was no note attached, nothing to signal who’d given it to her. Just a little tree that she would put on her window sill. It was strange, she had to admit that, to receive an anonymous gift at such an hour. She’d have to ask her friends about it later on to see if one of them had given it to her, for reasons she didn’t know.

But as the days went by, and those days turned into weeks, she continued to receive gifts every few days. More tiny trees in pots, sometimes flowers in little glass vases. None of them at first had anything attached until the most recent piece which when she picked it up to take into her home, a folded piece of paper sat beneath the vase. She made sure to pick it and put it in her apron to read on her break when she went to work. She didn’t have the time when she woke up only about 20 minutes before she was due at her job.

She was more than grateful for the little garden she was accumulating on her window sill, the beautiful flowers and trees somehow surviving despite her little knowledge of taking care of them. She stopped by a flower store in town to get some fertilizer just to keep them alive. It would be a shame if they died since someone was being so kind as to give them to her.

With her boring life, the flowers brought a smile to her face and a warmth in her heart that she hadn’t felt before. Regardless of who was leaving the items there, she felt like she was important to someone. Some person was taking time out of their day to show they cared about her.

Truthfully, she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t wished it was Yamato leaving her gifts. She’d been attracted to the man for quite some time, ever since they met really. He was just so strong and brave, and awkward in a cute kind of way. He was truly the only man of her affections, and she could only dream she was the object of his as well.

It was more than unlikely though. He was a strong ninja of the leaf. The chances of someone that amazing wanting to be with someone as simple as the town baker were lower than she wanted to admit. He most likely had his eyes set on some gorgeous kunoichi like Shizune or Kurenai. Someone he could relate to, really.

It was embarrassing to even admit she had a crush on him. It made her feel so tiny and weak, knowing that she wasn’t his ideal.

So she pushed that thought from her mind. Yamato would never be interested in her, and he most certainly not the one leaving her little notes and plants.

What she did know was that this person was a shinobi. Maybe not Yamato, but they were definitely a shinobi. She set up a trap, at least one she thought a normal person would fall for. Right before her door, she set up a tiny trip wire made of floss at the perfect level for someone to pull loose when they walked up to leave a gift on her welcome mat. Her room was at the very end of the hallway, so there was no way anyone else except her secret admirer was the one to set off the trap. Any normal person without the high perception of a shinobi would set off the trap and she would be able to narrow down the results to a civilian.

Only, the morning after she set up the trip wire, when she opened her door, there sat another bouquet of flowers, as well as an untripped strip of floss.

This person had to be a shinobi. She concluded. It was the only explanation in her mind, desperate to find out who the mystery person was all this time.

As she walked the streets that afternoon after the store had closed, her eyes honed in on Yamato, who stood next to a vegetable stand picking up some groceries. Immediately, she turned on her heel and cornered him between the squash and the sweet potatoes.

“Yamato, I need to talk to you. It’s urgent. Do you mind?” she practically demanded, and his eyes widened. He did not expect such an abrupt conversation between them. He shifted awkwardly to rest his grocery bag in the crook of his elbow and lean on his left side, arms crossed over his chest.

He knew what she wanted to talk about. It was about those gifts that he had been giving her. It was just a matter of whether she had figured out it was him or not, that was the question. He was kinda hoping she didn’t know yet. He was not ready to face what came after the reveal, rejection or otherwise. He really hadn’t thought it that far out yet. How could he. Just thinking up love notes and what plants to give her next was more than enough to worry about.

But damn, when he looked down at her, hair dusted with flour from a days work, a smudge of cake batter still on her forearm, apron a complete mess, he wanted to cave and tell her everything. She was just so beautiful, so clumsily perfect he couldn’t help but lose his train of thought. He swore he’d never seen a woman more perfect than her, not even Naruto’s sexy jutsu could come close to this girl.

He found his ears heating up and no doubt turning red at the thoughts running through his mind, and he was quick to smother them down. He was not irrationally emotional. Hell, he was ANBU, he should be able to control his emotions down to a tee.

“Yes, Y/N?”

“I have a secret admirer, and I know they are a shinobi.”

He felt himself growing nervous. How had she deduced that? “Ah, that’s definitely exciting for you. How do you know it’s a shinobi?”

“I know because I set up a tripwire last night and the person didn’t set it off, so I know they are coordinated enough to avoid it. This isn’t just some random village boy. This is someone skilled.”

“Y/N, he could have very well just avoided the trap with his natural gait, don’t you think?” he tried to reason with her, try to get her off his trail. Admittedly, he thought she was quite clever for setting up the trap. When he walked over it the night before, he swore it was just a spider web. He didn’t even consider the possibility of a trap in his way.

If only he could throw her off his scent. He needed more time. He couldn’t confess to her now. It was too abrupt, too sudden. He would probably die.

“No, I’m convinced it’s a shinobi.”

Shit. “Well, what are you going to do now?”

She thought for a short moment on what she was going to say, tapping her foot on the ground beside her. Her eyes widened and she smiled at the thought that ran through her mind. Of course, it was so obvious. “The gifts come sporadically, so I know that the shinobi can’t leave gifts when they are on missions. Next time there is a long break in gifts, I will just ask around to figure out who has been on a mission for a while. Bam, I’ve got my answer. It’s foolproof.”

She really had thought this through more than him. She was too good, and he felt himself panicking. He had a weeklong mission in 3 days, and if she asked anyone, they would tell her it was him. He felt moisture gather up at his brow, and he internally cursed his situation. He had to find some way out of this mess without her figuring out it was him.

“Yeah, that could definitely work. I hope it all works out for you, Y/N,” he lied through his teeth.

“I know. I’m just smart like that, aren’t I?”

“You sure are,” he muttered, but honestly, he just wanted to go off and find Kakashi. He needed to talk to him. His eyes slid away from Y/N and he sighed. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course. Don’t forget to stop by before your next mission to get some of our special food pills, okay? I just made a new batch and you can try them free of charge. Anything for a fella as handsome as yourself.” She laughed, shifting her weight to press a hand to her hip.

Jeez. There was no good reason for her looking so adorable. Calling him handsome as well? It was all too much for his heart to handle. Needless to say, he felt like he was going to explode if he didn’t walk away right then. With that, he simply nodded before patting her shoulder. “Like I said, gotta go.”

“Oh, okay. See you around.”

“See you.”

He walked away quickly, heading in the direction of Kakashi’s apartment, knowing he just had to do something about the mess he was currently in, and ways to avoid the inevitable. His heart was racing so fast he thought he might be having a heart attack. How could he be swayed so easily by a pretty face. He had no idea, but he really wanted it to stop. For the sake of his sanity, he needed to learn to be calm around her.

He would tell her soon, get all this off his chest and share his true feelings. He just needed a bit more time.

[mediacinemtographyartetc]

I have issues with "Turning Red."

Okay so I have some issues with Turning Red, but the problem is no one is bringing this up or pointing it out so I thought it's just me I'll just pretend the movie doesn't exist and let people vibe.

But the only critic is regurgitated bs about "It's about periods- Parents hate it- anti-feminists hate it- Racists hate it-"

like it's all BOTS and fake and not actually critising the film but if I say hey I don't like turning red it is hard to sit through and I just can't watch it I would be lumped with those guys when I have no problem with the film.

I see people like it, I've seen spoilers and think "Oh man that looks cool- but this one THING I just can't sit through the film."

THe actual critics are divided and it says nothing about the film.

[Read more for why I couldn't sit through it- but if you REALLY like turning red back away and don't read coz if you read the rest, then thats on you, you take responsibility.]

Truth is. I can see that this is a good film, the animation elements feel like anime came to cgi better than what ghibli's earwig witch could've done. So that gets a point!

it was able to convey so many messages for EVERYONE was it puberty or was it being diagnosed with a disability? Was it about how young girls have to mask?

I do think the film has charm- there are elements I want to see...

I just couldn't get past the first 12 minutes.

I'm just saying when your on the spectrum when others get representation others don't. as in, the beggining of the movie is a LOT of information packed with random colours, quick shots then theres the dialouge is just tossed in there to the point where it's a bit random and 'quircky'

There would be nothing wrong with that, if it wasn't for the fact that when it comes to boys cartoons everyone is unique has an archetype, the leader the clown the intellect, but with girls like Mabel [Gravity Falls] Lutz [Owl House] Adora [She-ra] Theres a continuing pattern of "I'm am so raNDOM the cake is a LiE- I'm so QURICKY LOL!"

With mei being...alot, I can see myself in this character and know I was just like that as a kid. So I don't dislike her at all. Its just I am getting a lot of information and becoming very overwhelemed to the point where I can't process what is even happening where I didn't even catch their names.

My family [And I] are dsylexic, one sympton is being unable to concentrate on multiple things at once. [So thats my brains fault, not the movie]

So the beggining of turning red is probably giving most people a dopamine rush which awesome, while myself, feel like I'm getting a headache.

And all those quick shot flashing images can't be good for people who are epiplectic [Incredibles 2 was also just as bad so I blame Pixar as a whole it's not just a criticism for this movie its at the company]

Mei is fine. I was able to watch majority because of her she was great and I thought okay I can sit through this.

But her friends feel a bit copy pasted of mei, all out there and random but nothing that seperates them and the only one who seems a little bit different is the one with the tone death voice like the girl from the office leading back to the whole.

Either your the goth or the prep girl like thats it.

So then theres the pacing- which means how the information is presented to you on screen is it fast paced is it slow paced- this isn't a problem with JUST turning red-

I noticed this in loki too.

quick example- current audiences of ALL ages are used to FAST. PACE. INFO. NOW.

Thanks to youtubes algorithim of post a video everyday- Tik toks/instagram CONSTANT quick snap of videos having to be conveyed in so many seconds for people to make a quick judgment to like the video to keep it going. So take current audiences and make them watch an old black and white movie.

Chances are...you're going to be bored out of your mind. So I've noticed tons of current cartoons are just getting a bit more fast and faster to the point where it feels as if someone is hitting fast-forward and everyone is speaking like a chipmunk.

With loki [another show with pacing issues]

There are opening shots of a mountain and it feels as if it's going on a bit too long where you are staring at a shot that is 10 seconds when it should've been five.

When the title screen appears of Mei I thought that was well done, and it gave me such ghibli vibes, but then it kept going of mei just randomly dancing and it was going on longer than it should've been.

Then theres moments in the beggining thats overly animated/over the top like the introduction of town 4 it feels as if the over the top animation should've started once it's established its characters first.

Introducing town 4 was for us the audience to know who the frick these guys were.

Meanwhile the girls already know who town 4 is, I wouldn't change/axe the scene just use the magazine and use the animation of having the town 4 models suddenly come alive of the page where you are transported INTO the magazine of them getting introduced- the transition wouldn't be jarring and having Mei fastly telling you who each one was as if even SHE was trying to keep up with the animation being overly ambitious which felt like a waste of time to the animators leaving the bigger stuff to the middle towards the end towards the finalle- I mean the beggining wasn't EASING us into this world of characters it felt like a slap to the face.

I'm saying as a media student, Mei is fast paced which fair enough it would've been a better juxtapisition to have the animation not as fast/jarring so you're able to hear her speak without trying to figure out whats going on half the time.

Then the dialouge of the girls holding mei back from getting her bus to do a quircky dance- it feels too random but if in the few mintues previous of mei explaining town 4 and the boys DID that dance it would make sense as thats whats keeping them together and a common interest for them all.

idk- it's awful because turning red isn't the only thing that does this- so many of disneys movies regugitate and spew out information in a dump then slow the pace down agonsiingly slow near the end.

I despice Disneys nutcracker, I can't stand Loki, and others movies I can't sit through because Disneys pacing is just atrocious.

Turning Red.

There is nothing WRONG with the information that is turning red being the characters, the animation and everything about it. Its how that information is presented in pacing-dialouge etc.

I have grown up on anime so I'm wondering maybe if I change the language and put subtitles on would that make it easier to watch, I watched spanish/Japanise and chinese dramas/shows animations etc.

The only thing I can think that would explain it [because to reititare since NO ONE is talking about it I KNOW IT'S just me and no one else feels this way about the movie]

Is that as a kid I would watch youtubers who were/are diagnosed with adhd- colourful and fast paced youtube channels like thomas sanders/jazza/jacksepticeye/smosh etc I would gravitate towards.

But as a 25 year old I noticed those channels would grow up appear more calmer and I noticed I have changed and gravitate towards more slower paced videos.

Current kids who've reacted, genuinly enjoy the film.

And thats the POINT!

IF you're a kid/teen whose reading this who cares what I think- if you enjoyed the movie thats IT- the movie did it's job. And with most of fans enjoying it and giving it good reception than thats a win in my book!

Do I think Turning Red is over-hated? Yeah. I think people should talk about the issues the movie has but also the good parts. And to me I do think the good outweigh the bad. Also the fanart fans have made is making me want to give the movie a second chance and try to watch it again *fingers crossed.*

Then theres the others thing [feel free to ignore this]

Okay remember I am 25 and I have watched...ALOT of movies.

So the whole turning red is a period analogy is off-putting to me-

As a women I'll explain- don't bite my head off.

But it just makes me think "Who wrote this stephen king?"

I am just tired of the whole, periods is a metaphor of being a monster or some sort of sexual awakening [carrie/beverly] So seeing a red Panda [monster] and period makes me tired because YES that is something that young girls face and YES good on the movie to make it normal thats okay thats fine.

But it kinda reduces girls to their bodies and some kids who may be transitioning don't get that and seems pretty exclusive [DO NOT take my word for this I am not speaking for trans/nonbinary as I have no right just pointing it out tho]

I have my own issues with it and believe that yeah periods are normal [I tease my dad about it every waking moment] but in media it feels very tired/overplayed to the point where I feel like I prefer if Turning Red was about puberty the line of being an adult acting your age and hiding elements of yourself while also being a teenager struggling with brand new emotions thats very overwhleming chipping away parts of yourself and trying to act like an adult- issues with feminity and either being overly feminie [slut] or rejecting feminity [tomboy or dyke] or maybe being on the spectrum and 'masking' trying to act neruotypical to 'fit in'

I feel like a period analogy is overplayed, but when it comes to neurodivergence, feminism, maturity etc thats something that feels refreshing so I lean more towards that personally.

Meanwhile others would find the period analogy perfect and refreshing so I'm not outright rejecting I am stating that I prefer one thing but I'm aware others would prefer something else.

So I am giving Turning Red another point for being able to convey something for everyone. Like we can all exist in this one space with our own thoughts/opinions without stepping on anyones toes.

My only question for the people who read this far and are either fuming and want to tell me how wrong I am- I will ignore.

My only question is- does the pacing get better later on in the film, should I give it another chance because some of the shots/scenes I've been spoiled seem to be paced very well so I was wondering is it a rushed opening but then sails on later on in the movie?

OR if someone does genuinly want to know and asks "Yeah I've read all of this and completely disregarded it because how can you not like the film I just don't understand."

I know you're probably thinking you're in the right place, but this type of response always puts me in a rage to the point where I can't think.

I have put evidence here and if you can't understand then any further in depth or response from me would just be wasting each others time.

And I would assume you were a troll.

And it makes me feel as if all of my thoughts/feelings was disregarded because someone was too busy being offended over a cartoon.

I have put in so many times how the issues I had was mostly pacing dialouge which means its not what there saying it's how someone edited the whole thing and put them all together thats all.

[ttlmt]

do it bee

alright.

there’s a few things i kept seeing confusion about, so i’ll try to clear it up the best i can with my amateur enthusiast knowledge. 

disclaimer: all of this could be completely wrong. this is just what i’ve learned from working as a bookseller in the past and taking a few classes on publishing and just generally doing a lot of personal research into it both as a reader and with interest in joining the industry. i do not know dan’s individual situation, nor am an expert by any means. i am also coming at this as a canadian, so the innerworkings of uk/us publishing are just from what ive learned here.

you will get through this book: 

bee’s possibly incorrect far too long guide to the publishing industry and how international editions and signed copies might work for daniel howell’s new book ‘you will get through this night’ available for preorder now

follow @daysuntilthisnight​​ for a countdown #shamelessselfpromo

1) the uk vs us edition

the uk cover is the one without dan’s face on it. the us cover is the one with dan’s face on it. its not uncommon to have multiple covers and putting someones face on the cover is a very american publisher thing to do, personally i really like both. the cover you get is dependent on where you/your country order the book from.

if you ordered from danandphilshop or shop.danielhowell, you will be getting the uk cover, as it is a uk business. if you ordered from the us store right when the book was announced and before the signed copies sold out, it will probably be the uk cover (more on that in the bit about signed books). after that, i’m not sure because i do not know how irlmerch’s distribution works. 

one thing to note is all books have an ISBN number which is like a universal barcode for the book at all stores and it comes from the publisher. the beginning of the isbn dictates the publisher/language/product type/etc and the end identifies the particular book. the uk edition and the us edition have different isbn numbers, as will the ebook, audiobook, etc. this is a good way to figure out which edition you are buying from your local bookstore, and you can cross reference with the isbn in uk or us stores. its usually listed at the bottom of the product page online.

if you live in a country besides the us or the uk, it depends whether the book is being distributed or published in your country. distribution is often more cost effective, and is usually the way it works. as far as i know, dan’s book is being distributed (not published) to the countries on this list with the exception of the us where it is being published (not distributed). if a book is being published in a country, it will have a different isbn and sometimes a different cover. if a book is being distributed it will have the same isbn and cover as the country it is distributed from (usually the closest publishing hub, so london or new york in this case).

to know what edition is in your country, you can compare the isbn numbers and/or the covers. you can also take a look at your other books to see whats normal in your country to get sort of an idea. im assuming europe will get the uk edition but im not sure about other countries.

here in canada for example, our books are usually distributed from the US meaning you will be getting the us cover if you order the book from a canadian store. i ordered from irlmerch when dan’s book was announced though, so i think im getting the uk edition.

1.5) covers and book design

most of the time, especially with new authors, the author has very little say in the final decisions re: book cover and book design. they usually get input, and the publisher gets final say. book design is also a very different thing then general graphic design and professionals genuinely go to school for this. thats not to say there arent bad book designs or that regular people can’t do it too, it’s just something to keep in mind. 

2) signed books vs signed editions

there are a few different ways that signed books can work. primarily, there are signed editions and signed books. both are physically signed by the author, the difference is when in the process these books are signed.

signed books is the ‘old-fashioned’ way, where the author will sit at a table and sign copies of their book. the author usually signs on the title page and for a long time, this was the only way to do it. they have already been printed by the publisher so they will have the same isbn as unsigned books. signed books are usually more limited, often they can be personalized, and if you have ever gone to a proper book signing where the author signed the book in front of you, you have a signed book. signed books are also sometimes made available at the authors local bookstore because they are able to sign them in person. as far as i know, the books that were ordered from danandphilshop or shop.danielhowell during the initial signed run will be signed books. i also believe there are/were limited signed books from uk retailers, i think those are/were signed books (not editions) where the isbn matches the normal first edition of the book. 

signed editions are a fairly new thing, and have made signed books so much more accessible which is awesome! signed editions have a different isbn then their normal edition and signed book counterparts. they are technically two different books and are listed as a separate book in stores. that is because signed editions have one (1) extra page. this allows the author to be sent boxes of pages, not books, to sign BEFORE the books are bound. the pages are then sent back to the publisher to be included in the final printed copy of the book.

signed editions help authors to sign even more copies which allows for things like signing hundreds of thousands of copies of a book in some cases. if you are familiar with john green’s books (and hank’s too), he is a large part of the reason signed editions increased in popularity. for example, his book turtles all the way down had a signed edition and a normal edition, they were the same price but the signed edition included the one more page that john had signed. this also allows authors to do fully signed first edition runs, such as john’s new book the anthropocene reviewed (which comes out the same day as dan’s book lol), where every single copy of the first edition is signed (so there is no such thing as an unsigned american first edition, this is becoming more popular for some authors to do especially if the first edition print is not very a large quantity).

if you saw dan’s ig story from today (which was almost definitely a delayed post lmao), he was signing the signed edition papers that will be bound in the signed edition copies of the book in the us. as far as i know, it is only the us publisher that has this option. as you can see on the us store books-a-million, there is a signed edition and a normal edition. they are listed seperately and there are different isbns. the signed edition will be bound with the one extra page that dan has signed. 

both types of signed books have been actually signed by dan and are so cool to have if that’s something you want and are able to get. if not, you’re not missing much.

3) book piracy and pricing

i’m not here to tell you what to do, so i won’t. i know being able to buy books is a privilege and dan is a millionaire. full stop. he doesn’t need the money and you probably do.

books are expensive. the difference between cost and price of a book can vary drastically. does your calc textbook actually cost the publisher $300? probably not, but it does cost more per copy to print less copies of something (like a textbook) then it does to print millions of copies of a nyt bestseller. does a $24 book cost that much to develop/print/distribute? maybe. 

but most of that money goes to the publisher. the fact of the matter is authors get very little from the actual sale of the book (usually only a couple dollars), which okay, not exactly convincing you against piracy but hear me out. the actual number of sales a book has lets a publisher know how successful a book is, which helps to decide how many more prints/editions are made and often dictates future opportunities for authors.

a series of books that i love is very popular on tumblr, but there was a serious problem a few years ago where copies of the book were being pirated so much, sales were down so drastically, that the publisher almost didn't continue to publish the series. in the case of smaller authors or your favourite ongoing series, buying your copy of the book could be the difference between the existence of the next book or not.  in dan’s case, i don’t know what his future plans are, idk if he plans to write more in the future, but i do know that publishers look at previous sales to decide if they are going to publish a book in the future.

ebooks are usually cheaper and more accessible if money is an issue. used books, while not helping with sales, are also a great option if you’re willing to wait and look around. you can often request your local library buy a book and read it that way, or they might even already have it. there probably even audiobooks and ebooks at your local library. stores like am*zon are usually cheaper as well. online stores of large chains like b&n and indigo will often have the books cheaper to match amazon. however if you can, support your local bookstore.

of course if the author is a horrible person do whatever tf you want. also fuck the textbook industry. 

tldr: dan worked really hard on his book with professionals to make it the best it could possibly be. i think it looks beautiful, and it will help a lot of people. the publishing industry is a mess but really cool. check the isbn of the copy you ordered if you want clarification or you can just wait for the surprise.