#thats all thank u for ur time
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show recommendations from me
criteria: comfort shows, only shows i have ever rewatched thus far and would do so again
- kipo and the age of wonderbeasts
- centaurworld
- bee and puppycat (includes original 2 part pilot, 10 episode cartoon hangover series, and netflix's lazy in space)
#im so obsessed with bapc right now ive watched it twice this week and listen to the soundtrack when im doing stuff#i love it so much i cant stop thinking about it#jo mews#thats all thank u for ur time
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soon it'll be dawn again
transcript under the cut ⏬
page 01
Fig: no way? - you're still up?
Riz: Wh– yes?
Riz: Why'd I not be.
page 02
Fig: I me~~ean - that took.
Fig: whole day.
Riz: Yeah?
Fig: 'm beat.
Riz: you should sleep.
page 03
Fig: nah. my guy's still up
Fig: I wanna hang out.
page 04
Riz: That's really nice.
Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.
Riz: … yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.
page 05
Fig: yeah, but you do it…
Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.
Fig: That's right… - though. Yeah.
page 06
Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.
Riz: … - mm.
page 07
Riz (off screen): …It took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so nice– - or. - kind.
Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.
page 08
Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world's– not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.
Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can now…
page 09
Fig: Hey.
Riz: ?
Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.
page 10
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)
Fig: o yea.
Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.
page 11
Fig: here u go
page 12
Riz: uh
Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.
Fig: I'll show u
page 13
Fig: just– yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, then–! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try
Riz: uh - What. do I carve?
Fig: anything!!!
page 14
Fig: and– yep just seal the inside uh. seam?
Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - okay - wh. what's next?
Fig: haha - watch this.
(sound effect text): FWOO—MP
page 15
Riz: WH– DON'T JUST DO THAT???
Fig: Now it's fired!
Riz: THAT WAS NOT SAFE
Fig: (actually it's just dry. if u add water rn it'll dissolve)
Fig: ok catch!
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - careful!!
Fig: dw no need haha
page 16
Riz (thought bubble): oh - it's warm…
Fig: now I want you to throw this.
page 17
Fig: u gotta do it - c'mon
page 18
Riz: wh– - It's like 3AM right now
Fig: oh it's not /fired/ fired it's not gonna make a loud noise
Riz: And then just? leave a pile out here?
Fig: pour water over it & it'll be gone I told u
Riz: but
page 19
Fig (off screen): RIz.
page 20
Fig: I've done all this before.
Fig: Can you trust that at least?
page 21
Riz: no, I– - I do. - I trust you.
page 23
Riz: okay what happens now
(sound effect text): glob
page 24
Fig: we do it again!
page 25
Riz: wh. [larger than usual space] What do you mean. (this clay's too wet also)
Fig: see! you're already learning
Fig: [blank speech bubble] - there are flows that are futile to fight. - The world changes.
Fig: Things change.
page 26
Fig: I've learned my lessons with "forevers". - But - as an artist
Fig: I can give you one thing: - You can always do it again.
page 27
Fig: most of everything depends on the rest of the world, - but this. - making new. - that's yours as long as you want it.
page 28
Fig: So?
page 29
Riz: Yeah. - Yeah! - let's make another one.
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#technically no spoilers in this comic but listen. I Will be gloating in tags. I will Never Shut Up#for the record!! this was fully conceptualized and sketched Before the finales. I started sketching this after the boat fight#and when murph closed riz's arc this season with ''maybe it's okay to change and welcome new things'' I pogged irl#I am simply the best at reading comprehension what can I say! (<- grown ass man with roughly the same perspective on teenhood as the player#fucked up that this became so long (almost 30 squares lol) that it took me this long to finish#lmao I say all that but. genuinely I am delirious and my feelings abt riz's arc this season are so big... I was getting psychic backlash#for a While lol. it was scary!!#had to sit down and do therapy on my own ass for a bit. the teenage apocalyticisation is real. that word isnt tho Im pretty sure#truly anything you do at that age feels like that's it that's all you've got going on forever. and its not true! its simply not true#you'll be okay my guy. you love your friends so so much but also there will be more to love out there#this one goes out to fellow aroaces and also folks leaving somewhere theyve called home for a long time#nothing lasts forever but that means new things come by too! ur ability to make new is infinite!!#there's no magnum opus people leave but new people come by too etc. I am too sleepy to remember what I wanted to say uhhh#well. thank u for looking at my art. I think thats the one pack it n ship it boys
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genderfluid adrien agreste who uses all pronouns
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Blorbo's Eepiest Soldier
Thank you everyone for your kind words, I'm doing better and am back to it <3
#helloo!#thank you all for the well wishes#I have really appreciated every kind word#I'm doing better now and have gotten back to school work#i am so eepy though#eepiest soldier#im also being overworked on my capstone game team and the team lead even told me shes over working me so thats#fun#counting going to this capstone class and meetings and such im putting like 25+ hours in a week for it#and i do have 2 other classes#and a social life i enjoy having#haha#but im happy to do the work cause its good portfolio stuff#except when my producer comes up to me and says "yknow how ur in charge of all the 2d art and concepting and branding and ui and pr? yeah g#make a 3-4 page detailed comic for plot at the start of our game cause we dont wanna cut plot (even tho we dont have time for it) and we#dont wanna show plot through interactable objects and dialogue/text so more work for you even tho u legit dont have time for it#ngl tho i have genuinely been enjoying designing icons and doing model concepts#i made some fire designs recently#please hire me a game company tm#anyway enough of capstone talk#love you all!!!#im excited to graduate and finally be able to change my bio!!#hope you all have a very lovely rest of your day <33#furry#fursona#digital art#art#eepy
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souyo x splatoon!
#persona 4#splatoon#souyo#yosuke hanamura#yu narukami#souji seta#crossover#lizzy does art#HELLO LONG TIME NO SPLATOON CROSSOVER..... i am going to shoot the beams of splatoon-ification at as many persona charas as i can!!#i really love drawing the yosk. he is soo fun no matter what form i draw him in...#been working through some sketches to color and this was a blast :) i have many things i want to learn but i had fun!! and thats great#i love love love the p4d outfits stylization of the yasogami uniforms its very fun and pretty#have a few more sketches i want to color so maybe you all will see that in the coming days :) i wish everyone a very rainbow and good day!#whatever that means. skldflshdf. thank you everyone for ur kindness as always and may souyo brighten your days like the sun!! <3#also um edit! i forgot to say ty for ppl enjoying my souyo doodles from dec. i was surprised that many people liked them! so thank u!
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HOW DO YA LIKE THAT DARK DOG??
BEEN REAL ENAMORED BY THE 'SORRY' BOYS AND THEIR ODD ESCAPADES LATELY. I THINK THEY COULD DO A LOT OF GOOD THINGS WITH THREE GALLONS OF 'FAKE' BLOOD.
#sorry boys#sorry fanart#cw gore#cw body horror#DEAR GGODODDD I HOPE I TAGGED SORRY THE RIGHT WAY#PLEASE SORRY FANS IM HHEERE IM HERE AND IM CRAAZYYY GODDD PLEASE FIND MEEE FIND MEEEEEEEEE#GONNA BE HONEST IVE BEEN FLOPPIN BACK N FORTH ON THIS REAAAALL HARD LIKE. IM NOT SURE IF I LIKE IT#BUT EVERYONE WHO SEES IT SAYS ITS COOL! SO IMM GONNA TRUST IN THE WORD OF MY FRIENDS!!!!! THANK YOU FRIENDS!!!!#i tried to fit in as many things in the video as i could into his vile chest cavity. im rly proud of how jumbled n messy n fun it looks!#SOME THINGS TO NOTE! i painted over the bg of a specific shot from the video. painted over a portion of that LIGHT FIXTURE#BUT I Had to improvise the rest and im PRROUD LOOK AT THAT!!! WITH A MOUSE TOO BTW#DREW THIS WHOLE THING WITH A MOUSE. took some time but i think im gettin the hang of it#ANOTHER DETAIL: ranboos lil wires behind his mask. teeehehhehee i rly liked gen loss#i like this weird combo i do of cartoony and photo realistic. not sure where my balance is yet with that but im havin fun!!#ughghgh what else can i say abt this piece... other than it kicked my aASSSSSSS!!!#adding highlights in blood is always SSUCH A FIGHT for me guhhh it takes so much wrestling to make it look right....#ggbbhhbbgbh thats all thats in my brain for now. enjoy my art and enjoy my notes about my own art. enjoy ur day aswell if u can
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
=͟͟͞♡ tysm for 2.7k !!
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#⠀⠀⠀ sseulr1n ⠀⠀⠀✿⠀⠀⠀ ( tiktalks ) ⠀⠀⠀#⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀#⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ i forgt to psot for 2.5k so im foing thjs sorry but wyah here u go i love love loev love love lovelove loevlove lo#love u guys sm ime very very grayeful nd thankful like i could never imagine a little sill girl like me would even reach this far#like omg ppl that know me irl dont know tgat i have 2.7k (almosy) ppl tgat follow me like tgats an insane number u guys should#low ur screen time nd touch grass lmfao laughing laughing im wheezing i love being a comedian sometims#if my mom found out abt tgis theyre gonan be like “damn my kid be lije zendaya#mr beast elon musk taylor swift like i thoght she was nothing but a disappointment good thing i gave birth to her“ /j i love my mom#she would never say such thing but in short all i want to say is im very thankful and grateful to u guys thats all:3#oh and last thing..................................................................................i love............beomgyu
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Hi dating upd8 btw since u guys liked when I used to do that.
I went on 3 dates with a girl who does photography& rides a motorcycle. Ya she bought me ice cream all 3 times. um romance is real maybe
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closing ko-fi requests ):
I'm honestly so sad abt doing this after all these years but I've gotta close ko-fi requests 😔 I really can't justify the time I spend on them against the amount I earn on them ): it's been fine before but as I'm goin into my last year of uni I need to get a better balance between uni work and art-money work. on this, commissions are getting an overhaul in the coming weeks bc I know I'm super undercharging lmao which I can't keep up, bc again, I've gotta try not to fail my degree while also making sure art is a viable side hustle loll.
I may open kofi reqs again when I've got more time (or failing that make them a part of kofi memberships at some point)!!! but for now rip kofi reqs ): (my kofi will obvs stay open for support and -- if you want smthn back for ur support -- kofi membership early access!!)
HOWEVER in better news with my commissions overhaul I'm gonna be opening a new, cheaper type of commission so hopefully that'll be a nice balance for everyone!
got one last request to finish and it's a big'un so should be a nice sendoff to kofi requests!! hopefully done by tomorrow
#im so sorry i love kofi reqs but yeah they just take a lot of my time and its different to my just-personal art#bc i prioritise them like commissions even tho they Aren't#and i'm starting to prep for goin back to uni and i've got a lot on my plate#also i'll be completely honest the kofi req system has changed a lot from when I started it as a 'hey little bonus if u support my art'#and yeah i'll say a few ppl have ignored my friendly guidelines and abused it a lil#BUT THATS NOT WHY IM CLOSING OK not letting a few bad apples ruin this its ENTIRELY bc of the time/money thing#ily guys thank u all sm for ur support w requests n stuff!!!! sorry again#talk is cheap
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yayyy
#ill answer these in bulk so i dont spam the dash too much i hope thats ok :']]#i figured it would be nice if i answer them by drawing in the page too !!!!!!!! its so funn#kinda mspaint vibess :3#thank u all for taking ur time to send send sweet n silly doodles and drawings messages n stuff andhghghg#📮💌
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🎁 ˶˙ᵕ˙ )ノ hello hello rara !!! please don’t mind me as i pop into your inbox to deliver you a little love letter > < it’s been a minute since i last complimented your art !! BUT FIRST i have to say that this theme is so pretty — i love the blues and purples, as well as this pinned video ?! all your art aaaaa !!!! your style is so lovely ,, and oh its absolutely breathtaking when you look at all the details in each one ?!?! the fabrics of clothing ?! THE HAIR ?! it’s all insane /pos you have such beautiful art !!! BUT ALSO YOU !!! you are so kind ): your good mornings ( though we are in opposite time zones, and you still say good morning to me !! i appreciate you so much 🥺 ) EEAAAA i adore you infinitely! i hope you have a wonderful rest of your year + christmas if you celebrate (((: and an awesome new year when it comes!! 🤍🤍🤍
EVIEEEEEE happy holidays !! thank u for this v heartfelt message ! i want u to know that i rly appreciate all the love and compliments (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)♡ and that your chatters are v welcoming and give me 'it's a new day' vibes like the morning show i used to watch before going to school hssjjs im not much of a talker so this is all i can offer in exchange for ur v kind words ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ hope u gave a great holiday szn and a merry, merry christmas w your loved ones (+ moze (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝))
#to: rara#to: rara from: evie#i wanted to draw me carrying moze but then i started drawing aryomen grande#HAHAHAAH WELL#ig it makes sense bc i wouldnt be able to carry moze#tiny pop star possessed by sukuna surely can#also my apologies im full and sleepy like the pig i am so this is all messy 😭#and i hope moze is recognizable or at least drawn decently it's my first time drawing him#i looked him up on google took the first photo as reference and thats it hsjsjs#oh i js wanted to say for my theme that purple is my favorite color and the blue it's the pantone color for SHINee one of my ult kpop group#im nothing if not full of easter eggs HAHA#again thank u evie for the message#im grateful for u and ur presence on my dash even if it's like past midnight#dw im a night owl HAHA
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Hey, new follower here! (I'm actually in the wrong account so please don't mind me being anonymous!) I really love your art and I mainly wanted to say that your art and style is amazing and beautiful! Secondarily, do you have any tutorials or tips on drawing bodies, hands and I noticed you do blood? I understand if you'd rather not answer that; if so just only the first half! Love your art! Thanks for existing (if that makes sense)❤️
wah... first i just wanna say tysm!!! youre so sweet 😭
i unfortunately dont have any tutorials or anything made already and i dont really want to make any as of right now because i feel like i have a long way to go in terms of learning how to properly draw a lot of things. since i don't know what im doing id feel really lousy putting out a tutorial when i dont even have a lot of the basics down yet...
im gonna blab under the cut about tips (not really tips on drawing bodies themselves as a guideline, but what has helped me practice and thus allowed me to get better at drawing bodies in my own art), so u dont have to read all that if it doesnt interest u! but regardless thank u again for being so sweet!!! sorry i couldnt give u what u wanted.. maybe one day... 😭
again this is just how i practice, but its GENUINELY helped me get so much better.
all i can say as far as tips is to definitely practice with references as much as u can, it really will help u improve. i know people often dont like that advice too much but its really true... every time i use references to practice for a bit i can tell it helps me, and looking back at older art i know its true. i dont often use guidelines (i really need to...), or at least not in the sense that i do in most of the guides i see so i feel like i cant give much else in terms of advice tho, other than that.
anyway, its one thing to just use a reference, but really trying to get it down and learn it (learn the body, anatomy, how to draw it all) so u carry that knowledge on is sorta different, for me
what has helped me to really learn is this method of practice where i
draw a reference photo based off what i see
trace the photo
overlay both my trace and the first drawing i made
go back and choose key points on the photo/trace where i was very off and mark them as a little dot/line and then try to fix the original sketch with those dots/lines to match the photo (look below to understand what i mean LOL sorry)
try and draw it again from scratch based on what i see visually
and for number 4, what i mean is this:
lets say the 2nd is my visual (rough) drawing based off of the original
overlaying my original sketch on the reference i can see where a lot of points are off!
ill make note of a few of the areas that were very off and mark them, then get rid of the reference underneath. ill still look at it as a guide on the side, but overall try to just change the original sketch to match it instead of directly tracing!
i feel like this may not have been exactly what u mean as far as tips for drawing bodies, but ive found that in order to grasp them better in a way that helps u draw them on ur own, doing studies like this really helps! for me, at least, it allows me to better store things in my memory--because looking at the image and practicing doesnt feel like it really CEMENTS any knowledge, but seeing where i went wrong and then working backwards to try and alter it shows me where im lacking in skill, and helps me use that information later!
doing this allows me to understand how bodies take up space. it has helped me to see the body as more of a tangible thing while i draw freehand, and do it more accurately as well, instead of it feeling like its. a limp noodle i cant grasp LOL
i will say, tho, that for hands especially i almost always use my hands as a reference for what i want. like i dont even have a guide for that in terms of what i do to draw them out or guidelines i follow, i just straight up draw them based off what i see or imagine, i dont really do those step by step guidelines...
im sorry again i couldnt rly give u what u wanted, i just dont think im at that level where i can truly give any advice since im not good enough (yet ! we hope) for a genuine tutorial. if u mean something as far as like... body shapes and stuff im still not rly there yet either. i hope this helps even a tiny bit tho, if u read this far!!!
#thank u anon.. sorry again#even for blood i literally have to redraw it 50 times and hope for the best so i cant even rly give adequate advice there#thank u tho ur so sweet....#asks#AND DONT worry abt being anonymous i dont mind !!!#sorry about all the blabbering thats why i put it under the cut#also bc i dont think its what u asked for so. u absolutely dont need to read that#genuinely doing that tho#and even using that same method of practice but applying it to say. anime screenshots. has helped me a lot#it shows u how other artists think and conceptualize things which u can use to open ur own mind and how to approach things in ur art#references are the key to everything...............
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i need people to start paying me for every time they tell me "oh but ur arts so good ur wasting ur talent u need to do it professionally" wrong i need to do art to draw beautiful characters that not a single other person cares about while feeding every ounce of love i have into my work or to convey thoughts & feelings beyond words and to even think of doing otherwise is to deny my own nature "oh but u can do what u want and then sell it" why is everything about money to you why cant u just enjoy things at what point in ur life did u forget how to have fun
#i hate that this stance is also seen as childish#like i have a full time job & often have mandatory overtime i have income already#if u need to to make ends meet then thats different do what u can to help urself live as comfortably as possible#but holy fuck pleasure as an adult is not limited to sex & money & watching tv#besides u know not a single one of the people who say this are willing to actually pay what the arts worth#its like 'well not me but other people would love it!' yeah okay u know a lot of other people are going to see the#over $100 price tag and go 'i like it but not that much! other people however' like just shut up. honestly. be quiet.#if i speed ran my art and low balled myself to a $15/hour rate the lowest would still be like $120#which is not worth it AT ALL bc i just paid MORE to sit on my ass & look at eggs#and. again. is underselling myself for both experience & time. but people think $80 full body comms are too expensive#do u think im so stupid to not expect to get scammed when even 'easy' things are over $100#but no ur right why would i have fun with something when i could instead cause myself infinite stress over it perfect thanks#do not give me advice about doing comms i do not want to do comms#if u see me doing comms im in a very dire situation. like thats a last resort for me.
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having to explain to people things like. if i have to go out to do something and run errands i need to have it all mapped out and planned w like. at least a week in advance. and if i go out that day i cannot do anything else because That will be it. if i have multiple commitments that cannot be put on the same day i need one full day in between those commitments so i can rest and be recharged for that next thing otherwise i might have a breakdown in the middle of the street (again) and then That will render me unable to function for like a whole three days. and then people look at me like i choose to live like this?
#txt#audhd tag#just venting a little#its crazy because ppl around me are like I understand your limitations However why dont you-#So you dont understand my limitations?#like okay yeah i understand that it must be Weird for people that are not Inside my brain and hard to understand that i PHYSICALLY CANNOT>#do things that they dont even think about. alright! but to sit and tell me Yeah we get it! but then try to either fix it or >#> come up w a New Incredible Way To Fix Me as if half of what i talk abt w my therapist isnt Exactly This#like yeah i dont fucking like it either. i wish i could do shit like other ppl do. i wish i could remember things.#i wish i didnt feel exhausted all the time i wish simply leaving my bed wasnt the most difficult task every single morning#but it pisses me OFF when people try to talk me through these Limitations i have that They Understand<3 like. can you be accommodating or no#one of my closest friends and oldest friends since i was like 5 had her bday on friday and she ljterally messaged me like#Hi we r having something w my family but theyre rly loud and extremist on the right wing side and i barely wanna be here u dont have 2 come>#> but i wanted to invite u anyway so u dont think ur being left out! and i was like Yayy nice thank u bc lbr i probably wouldnt go anyway.#and she KNOWS that. and she literally was talking to me like she alwahs does and That felt accommodating and understanding and i felt loved#cut to my mom last night trying to make me feel guilty for not going because Shes my friend and i should have gone anyway.#i told her off and she backtracked but thats still innmy head like. that shit is so irritating#okay sorry vent over im just aboht to get my period so this is making me sick#want to yell into the void and forget about it. Hits post
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I was today years old when I found out the way to win Flock Frenzy is to not play it. I'm not kidding
youtube
(not my video btw, but it did set me free from my flock frenzy torment, so I am very grateful to this person and I definitely recommend watching it if u also hate this minigame)
#after having used this method to perfect clear all 3 of the Flock Frenzy levels that I am at this time aware of#(there might be more in existence honestly I've been really lazy about properly exploring Abandoned District cause I don't enjoy it)#I can confirm this genuinely just works fdiogfnibido#it seems like the flock frenzy with 2 sheep is the most consistent for perfect clears (unsurprising)#but normal clears are consistent enough in all of them that u can straight up just keep retrying until u get perfect clear#cause u make ur money back and then some with the normal clears too#I did adjust my character's position some to help the sheep not get stuck in a loop as much for one of them#the one thats within Stoneville on ground level#(I just stuck her against the wall instead of leaving her where she spawns)#but u genuinely can just restart until u get it and it works. what the actual heck#this minigame is so frustrating to me to play properly thank god u can cheese it by just alt tabbing the second it starts fdoivfnidohgds#as far as money farming goes I sometimes enjoy actively collecting money so I don't think I'll do this every day#but sometimes I don't feel like grinding so this honestly is a good alternative#Infinikki //#Infinity Nikki //#Youtube
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OKAY NHW THOUGHTS. SUFFER WITH ME !!!!
having a lot of thoughts and feelings as always about how virion sees himself as the one who has to be strong, who has to be the one to protect the other two . dakota may have had his powers for longer, but virion has more field experience. he's been trained how to fight his whole life. his family prepared him for this since the day he could stand on his own two feet. it's so deeply ingrained into him, he knows the ins and outs of cape politics, and while he may be an outsider in new haven he had plenty of experience in fauna and how much different can the two cities really be? I feel like he's faaaar less trustful of the heroes, can kind of see through their bullshit when it happens, but he doesn't make a move because now he has a team, now he has people he loves again, and he would do anything to keep them safe even if that means putting up with bureaucratic nonsense. he's got that vigilante blood in him!!! idk how long he was on his own but even if it was as short as a few months that's still PLENTY of time to pick up terrible habits in the name of keeping on his toes, keeping himself safe. gotta keep moving constantly. can't sleep for more than a few hours at a time, and the sleep he does get is VERY light. only ever wearing dark clothes and covering his face even out of costume. constantly keeping at least one concealed weapon on him. being SO hyperaware of any sound or sudden movement in the general vicinity. when hes with the other two he always places himself in the middle between them so he can easily grab both of them if he needs to. maybe walking a half step behind them to watch their backs. always situates himself with clear view of any doors/windows whenever theyre in an enclosed space. etc etc you see my vision!!!!!
im just thinking abt like... the first time william and dakota see him Without All That Tension. he probably looks like a totally different person! the whole time they've known him he's been this stoic quiet intimidating presence, he always stays awake longer than either of them so they've never seen him sleep. after one too many all-nighter volunteer patrols he passes on pizza for dinner and gets home before either of them. when they walk in later (leftover pizza for him ofc) and see him passed out fast asleep on the couch it almost takes them a second to recognize him . who is this.. soft faced *boy* curled up in a loose ball facing the door in their living room!! what if this is where williams crush really kicks in and becomes Real- he desperately wants to be able to make virion comfortable enough around him to make him look like that again. william is just frozen in the doorway staring at him, studying him, trying to commit the whole scene to memory, so dakota is the one who steps forward to put a blanket over him. virion wakes up IMMEDIATELY at this and the moment is kind of broken and he thanks them for the pizza and everything's back to normal but now they KNOW. do you SEE my vision here.
I hope ur malaise is a little better sorry this took me like an hour and a half to type i had 2 keep pausing bc I was getting emotional thinking about them auaghaguyghh
ohh having so many emotions about him.... yeah..... yeah..... the cape world is all he's ever known! of course he's more experienced, cynical, knows the procedures and conventions and lies better than they do. he's maybe the only one of them who's killed before. i think it fucks him UP to realize he loves william & dakota. how can he trust them? he does, he can't choose not to, but i think he's very scared for a very long time that they're going to betray him like his father betrayed his friends. "they sound like they really mean it" yeah well. so did his dad!! honestly i think it's a kind of let it happen situation. he thinks about it for a while and goes well. it's not like i have anything else. this, right now, is nice, so if i end up dead in my sleep about it? whatever. i like them. they're allowed. he's constantly waiting in the back of his mind for the cold gun to the back of his head while theyre hugging or a knife to his throat on the couch during a movie or for them to detour into a dark alley while they're walking somewhere. and it takes a very long time for him to lose this mindset. it would fuck the other two UP if they knew but he's very good at hiding it, both the fear & the decision to just let them do it, if they want to. virion sol willing vulnerability looks like anyone else's efficient dangerous capability and hypervigilance. (i think they Should find out that their best friend is always waiting for them to kill him. that would be a lot.)
anyway. distracted!! in my mind he was a rogue for at least, like, around a year. so much time for bad habits to sink in! the thing ive been thinking about is like, he never really had to be subtle? he's so good at disappearing into nowhere & being a sneaky ass creep on the job, he's alright at lying and social engineering if there was a situation where it was necessary, but he never like... had a civilian life! to him it was fine if he was mostly perceived as a thug or a contractor or just as suspicious as "deftly moving masked figure in black checking all the entrances to the coffee shop as he sits down or buying zip ties and gorilla tape and kerosene at lowes" implies. so like i think their manager or boss or handler has to go "hey dude you need to like. Not be walking exactly a step behind your friends checking your surroundings wherever u go. please stop moving like you're getting ready for a fight. it directs so much attention to u u are in high school ur supposed to be a kid ur setting off so many red flags!"& he doesn't really get it. and it's a thing.
ill over everything ur saying here btw!!!! actually fucked up over them seeing him without all those walls and facades & constant tension!! oh christ!! he's so intimidating even when he's not trying and knows so much and is so good at what they do-- he's. actually their age? he's really just some teenager like them? the crackling anxiety and hypervigilance aren't, just, like, part of him? all the tense lines and angles of him soften into just-- something normal and loose and comfortable?? that fic when???
#i think he only finally relaxes once they all hammer out the im not gonna fucking murder you shit & it's the three of them so he knows#there's always someone keeping an eye and an ear out. and he trusts them enough to know he doesn't have to do it all all the time.#bet thats INSANE btw. wiwi hard coping with the fact that he suddenly has a lapful of sleepy cat virion during the movie when for however#long they literally never even saw him sleep. oh theyre so everything to me...#THANK U FOR THIS BTW. ily ur so correct abt them always this was so good 2 think abt <333#mac tag!#new haven wards
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