#thats actually not a ship i think ive ever since before

[xx-projectsekai-au-concepts-xx]

can I request ichian (ichika x an) ? :D

Of course! Sorry it took a while, it was hard to come up with something for them. I think it ended up being a bit long too, but I hope you enjoy it regardless :D

Ichika Hoshino has always wanted to be a sailor. Ever since she was a young girl, being told bedtime stories about her father's time at sea, or going on regular fishing trips with her family and friends, she's been enamored with the water and the wonders hiding beneath it.

She's given the chance to join her dad on one of his fishing trips, an opportunity she takes eagerly and gratefully. The work is tough, and being struck on a cramped boat is nothing like the dry land Ichika is used to, but the experience is everything she's ever hoped it would be, and she's more determined than ever to follow in her father's footsteps someday.

One night, Ichika is out on the deck, unable to sleep and wanting some fresh air. She's leaning against the edge of the backend of the ship, looking up to the sky and naming all the constellations she recognizes under her breath, and listening contently to the splashing of waves below.

She's suddenly startled out of her trance by the sounds of struggle, coming from the large fishing net at the back of the boat (it wasn't large by sailor standards, per say, but it was a bigger net than Ichika had ever used at home). Something big must've gotten stuck in that thing, she'd assumed, and she's left at a loss of what to do.

Ichika considers going to wake her dad to ask him for help freeing it (she can't just leave it struggling there!), but before she can make up her mind, she picks up on what she can only describe as a voice. A person's voice.

Intrigued (and maybe a little scared), she begins to lift the net up out of the water. It's slow going, especially since it's just her pulling it up, but she's done a lot of heavy lifting throughout her childhood and had fairly strong arms. As she does so, the voice gets clearer, though most of what she hears is various profanities.

Once she's finally able to get a look at the thing, she nearly drops the net again in shock.

She was looking at a human face. Pale skin, wide orange eyes, and a head of black and blue hair. If it weren't for the scales on the girl's face, or the gills on her neck, or the actual fish tail in place of her legs, Ichika would think she was just an ordinary human.

Remembering that the girl is trapped in a net, Ichika apologizes profusely and immediately goes to free her, pulling her out of the net and onto the ship railing. The girl thanks her, and asks for her name.

Ichika and the stranger (who she soon learns is named An Shiraishi) spend some time talking, asking and answering all manner of questions about themselves. Ichika is in awe that something- someone- like An exists in this world, and An has never actually talked face to face with a human before, only ever watching them from afar.

Their time is unfortunately cut short when they hear one of the crew members start approaching the deck, and An has to hurry away. Before she slips back into the water, though, Ichika asks if they can see each other again. An flashes her a smile, and tells Ichika she'll make sure of it.

And just like that, the pretty mermaid is gone, disappearing back under the dark ocean waves.

Ichika sputters out some excuse to the sailor asking why she's out there, and she allows them to lead her back inside so they can go back to bed, but can't help smiling softly as she glances back at the edge of the boat.

She really hopes she can see An again.

[sidethatyoudontknow]

In the middle of all this 457 chaos there's me that lowkey ships junho and the salesman/ the recruiter/ddakji guy or whatever you're calling him

I mean have you look at them, imagine the banter we could've got

Like there's junho, a detective who's been trying to find his brother only to be led up to a brutal kids game competition in some sketchy island and also finds out the person who controls the said game is his very own brother that he's been searching for a long time that is also a previous winner in the game

And then there's the salesman (some people call him ddakji or dak ho) who's been trained to kill, to see people that played the games is lower than him like a trash since he was a teenager probably, who doesn't even know the purpose of life anymore, a literal mess, a maniac. That's also probably the one that recruit junho's brother into playing the games(a theory not sure if that would makes sense)

Just imagine that, I could write a few headcanons if anyone interested

And yes yes I know they didn't even interacted once for SHIT(and the only time they ever see one another was when one of them already died and the one died never also see him or does he?)

[5hrignold]

this line paired with the fact that (if my spoilers were right anyway) peepers did the loveheart pupils thing directed toward hater . much to think about

[walnutcookie]

I can talk about glisten and looey in the tos au because thats not spoilers giggles. ive been thinkings about them. this isnt about anything specifically im just gonna be yap yap yapping away abt them

since ive been asked before: no ships are canon in this au, but the relationships are intentionally kept vague, so interpret them however youd like! (except for proships.)

FOR CONTEXT: glisten and looey are artists in this au! :] they use silly wacky machines and tools to help them create art, trying to inspire kids to create art themselves while also demonstrating how machines can be useful in the subject of art

glisten and looey mean so much to me aughhfhgh. Two toons who are haunted by how people percieve them. their personalities are so different but i feel like they share a lot of the same insecurities... In most circumstances i dont think theyd ever be close enough to talk about that with each other, but in this au since the toons were born with the one they were paired with, they all have an extremely close bond with their pairings. they were in such a vulnerable state when they were first created but they were there to help one another adjust, and they spend most hours of the day with or near their partner, so they all become pretty inseperable. Because of that, in this au glisten and looey are comfortable talking to each other about their insecurities :] its nice for them to have someone who understands them even if their issues are different

i dont think looey is much of the gossip type, he doesnt do it much with other people but oh BOY when hes with glisten hes a yap machine. they spend hours just yapping about nonsense and drama GNFLFJF painting session and they just yap the whole timeee

They both have issues when it comes to recieving praise for their work - imposter syndrome plagues both of them, and they both feel a little undervalued by guests and their peers for how much effort they put in. glisten tends to put a lot of emphasis on what parts he did specifically in the art he and looey make together. if you insult looeys art he WILL get pissed off and defend his talent, its not that he thinks looey is a bad artist at all but he worries that people will think that looey is a better artist than him and feels like he needs to make sure people know what how skilled he is so that people dont think looey is better than him. There are some underlying competitive feelings but he cant really help it, he knows its not a competiton and tries to fight those thoughts but tis just how his brain works </3. Looey is the opposite of this, where they feel too goofy and unprofessional for his job, and he feels inferior in comparison to glisten whos charismatic and dresses well and talks so confidently about his art ,,, (to specify i dont think one is exactly better than the other! i dont know exactly what their art would look like, im still thinking abt it, but its less that one is better and more that theyre both more skilled in different aspects of art, which is part of why their pieces they work together on look so good.)

glisten does looeys makeup along with his own every morning >:] being a painter hes just good with brushes in general so every morning he wakes up, puts his makeup on, and then puts matching makeup on looey hehehe,,, he dislikes looeys sense of fashion but try as he might he cant help with that part GBDLFNFK. (Looey never likes the clothes glisten dresses them up in, it doesnt feel like him. glisten always has to dress elaborately so he feels professional but looey doesnt feel professional in the Slightest so it feels too fake to dress that way. they feel silly in the Bad Way not the looey silly way)

I think the actual classes they teach would probably have like a bunch of art desks where kids can mess around with a bunch of tools and gadgets to help them make straighter lines and circles and stuff, maybe those cool desk tops that spin yknow... Theyd show off the bigger tech they use to make their own elaborate art too like in the second photo above but maybe theyd also give kids a step-by-step on how to draw one of the toons, similar to the animation studio classes at disneyland if you know what i mean ? I can imagine theyd both be super supportive towards the kids too teehee,, glisten would praise their artwork like it was made by picasso and then looey would jump up and down and call it awesomely terrific. I havent thought much about how each class would work ngl

[oceanwithouthermoon]

Saiki and Aiura are bound to end up togethre because Aiura predicted it and her predictions are never wrong by the way! Hope this helped! Soulmates cant be platonic beacuse thats not what she predicted!

? im not sure where this is coming from but my point isnt and has never been "aiura and saiki are platonic soulmates", its "regardless of their status as soulmates, it cant force them to fall in love and so that relationship will just develop as it may, platonic OR romantic." the way you say this honestly just makes it seem like you dont understand what "soulmate" means and WHY people call them "platonic soulmates", its not that people think "platonic soulmates" is a specific label that defines them and that thats what the universe wanted them to be, its that "soulmates" cannot be defined as strictly platonic OR romantic without being an extremely creepy forced romance or friendship and it doesnt make sense that way anyway, so people are allowed to think their label as soulmates ends up being platonic FOR THEM.

and also that its really creepy that people think she has some sort of ownership over him or something... that just because she tells him theyre romantic soulmates means his feelings dont matter, youre not allowed to ship him with anyone else and hes not allowed to love anyone else, even if theyre not dating because she already staked her claim on him or something 😭

and nowhere in canon does it say she predicted that they end up together btw, its already very clear to me that youre very biased but this is just something you made up. if you headcanon that, thats perfectly okay!! but as far as we know, it didnt happen. nowhere does it say or even slightly imply that her soulmate power has anything to do with her predictions of the future, most of her powers that we see actually dont lol she predicts some futures but her other most prevalent powers we're shown are her ability to see auras and "compatibility" (which you can headcanon or theorize as having to do with future predictions, but again in canon this is never even so much as alluded to)

so yeah its not a future prediction and also even if it was, they literally prove in the show that the future can be changed, especially if you KNOW the future. but regardless, i doubt its a prediction in the first place and all evidence points to it not being so, especially since aiura went out of her way to come to pk to find her soulmate which, if she had already predicted theyd be together eventually, would change their future, their meeting, and their love story drastically and, although i have criticisms for how she wholeheartedly trusted her power and didnt actually make any romantic connection with saiki before trying to date him, aiura is not nearly stupid enough to mess it up that badly

anyway, like ive said a million freaking times, i do think "soulmate" the way she says it has a romantic connotation, but my point is that that doesnt actually mean much in terms of anything romantic happening between them. it didnt happen in canon and theres nothing to imply that it ever will. shipping and headcanoning is awesome and fun and i love love loveeee aiura and saikis friendship and how fun it is to build off of, but a romantic relationship between them is not canon, not now and never in the future. in myyyyy opinion, they found each other and theyre good for each other and thats what matters to me about their relationship and thats what makes them "soulmates".

also guys me saying your ship isnt canon shouldnt be considered an insult to your ship, i dont know why people take it that way 😭 im a fucking diehard kubosai shipper which is the least canon you can possibly get and you dont see me desperately grasping at straws to force it to be canon, join the club ??? its not that hard ??? also some of my other favorite ships are teruaisai and poly psychikers so its not even like im saying mikosai is impossible 😭 also last note, i find it very very hard to believe that people genuinely think asou would and did make a saiki ship canon LMAOOOO he gets close with ships sometimes like with satou and suzumiya, he somewhat implied they both like each other but not that they would ever get together... i wholeheartedly believe terusai is implied to be reciprocated and i have a lot of evidence for it, but its not CANON for a reason, asou would not do that and its more interesting this way anyway. we can agree to disagree on implications, but hating on me because you think your ship is CANON is next level delusional

[dragon-queen21]

this is a spur of the moment, no plannings going into this one because im not doing very well but shhh!!!!

(first off, im sorry i didnt say something sooner, ive been seeing your concerning posts lately. are you okay? seriously? i dont know if this is a line im crossing but if you want i could drop my blog if you ever need to vent. im sorry if thats too much i don’t understand things like this sometimes, but i genuinely hope your okay.)

but i wanna speak about lil sanji real bad, because i had a dream i was little and ive been having a lot of ideas about him lately and i need to project. also in honor of the sanji fan zine thats coming out (and that im totally not considering buying for 85 dollars as a early birthday gift) (or late since it ships in march lol)

- um idk i feel like hes a quiet little, especially before the crew found out he was a regressor, he doesnt really wanna talk, he just wants to be around someone. like i can see him pre coming out finishing like lunch or something and coming out and just sitting with nami and robin and theyre like “hello sanji kun do you need anything?” only to be confused when he doesnt start twirling like a love sick school girl.

^ or him going up to zoro PEACEFULLY and just plopping down and zoros fighting DEMONS not to say something brash and ruin the moment because sanjis clearly not in the mood, or if he looked close enough, not in the right headspace to deal with a attitude

-or even post coming out i imagine him just making everyone take a turn in holding him, not like pick up holding just. in the aquarium or something sitting on someones lap holding him close. give my guy some comfort PLEASE

- has one specific stuffed animal he keeps with him all the time. like first thing he asks for when hes tiny, f pacis, f sippys, give him his STUFFIE!!!!!!!!! youll never guess what it is (its a fish)

- i know a lot of people say sanji woukd be scared of the bigger members of the crew, and i so agree with that, but BUT the bigger members of the crew holding sanji like a actual baby? proportionally hes closer to the size of one if their hands

- no thoughts in this guys head, its just straight static. when hes younger, he has to like actually try to force two coherent thoughts together. i dont know he regresses really little a lot of the time, id say he stays closer to babyspace/toddlerspace than anything on the older side (he has so much trauma to work through)

ok im done im really sad so im gonna go to something productive to not. be sad byeebywwbyewww

📷

Thank you. I am just… having a time of it right now. People are… cruel, we’ll just leave it at that. And no your not crossing any line, if anything your words warmed my heart. I’m doing alright. Not the best not the worst just, fine.

I’m sorry you’re going through things as well :< We can suffer and be sad together <3

~~~

~I’ve seen talk about that zine floating around. 85 dollars is a lot but it would be fun to get.

Let me know if you do get it!

~“twirling like a love sick school girl.”

<- okay that made me chuckle. I can imgine there were so many alarm bells going off in their head. And maybe the just think that “oh Sanji’s… quiet”

~Zoro just aggressively chomping down on his sword and training to keep himself from saying something he knows will be stupud and unhelpful. And Sanji just seems so… soft and Zoro is like 95% sure this is some horrible mistake

~Attention starved. He’s just attention starved. Give the baby cuddles

~I’m quite partial towards the head canon of Zoro buying him a stuffed turtle. Sanji looking back and forth between Zoro and the plush before declaring “moss.” With no other explanation. Is that the plushes name? Is he just saying Zoro’s name? Who knows, certainly not Zoro.

~See I’m telling you. Caregiver Franky + babyspace Sanji. Just kdbjdbd best duo. (I just really really love cg Franky)

[suethesocks]

Ascalon Redesigns!

Ive always bashed Ascalon alot (still do) but watching kuro's breakdowns i coudnt help but wonder about how cool it wouldve been if it was actually executed well

My main gripes with it is that it didnt look like technology, made no sense to look the way it does, and felt very poorly thought out overall like the lore for it was a complete afterthought

As you can see here (and in my george design) Ive made ascalon alot more technological-looking and like something azmuth would actually build

So whats the deal with this device? Ascalon is a weapon that uses the incomplete DNA of powerful beings (such as celestialsapiens) to harness their power and manifest it into a superpowerful suit of armor and weapon that, if used correctly, can be used to dissect and study the fabric of reality.

This way Ascalon contrasts alot more directly to the omnitrix, being both DNA devices of sorts. And both made for the purposes of knowledge, but one is alot more destructive and obviously made for offensive purposes than the other

I gave it those weird vertical circle thingies to sort of look like the star alignment we saw in the flashbacks with Zennith. Always found it weird how that never came up and the design didnt evoke it at all apart from simply.. being long?

The armor and weapon are based off of the user and what their mind sort of understands as "combat gear." This is why it looks like a knights armor for George and how it manifests into a sword (or rather one of those cartooonishly large claymores). I tried to give it white tubes and some green dots to evoke the omnitrix more. Also slapped on a cool big cape because every robot armor should have a cape tbh. I didnt intend for that at the time but this ended up being a motif throughout the designs, finding a way to incorprate cloth into them

Here we have a hypothetical design for azmuth if he were to wield it. For galvans i imagine they probably go into battle in giant mechs, so thats what his ascalon is. Gave ascalon that 1 zigzag that his staff in soto has, but tried to move away from the soto mechs design for this bc i never imagined that one was used for serious military combat

In the azmuth flashbacks we saw that he gave Ascalon to an incursean warrior which is what led to their homeworld's destruction. I think DJW later said that the warrior was not an Incursean but idc !!

I drew this in the same pose that the warrior had in the shot we saw him in. Gave him the classic incursean helmet as well as some more incursean-y elements to his armor. He has a normal sword that looks more like canon ascalon's than george's (i wish i could pretend it was because hes the technical original wielder of ascalon so he gets to have the design match the canon but no it was a coincidence)

We saw Vilgax wield Ascalon for a brief moment in the show so i had to! This ascalon was a very easy choice for me since i made up my mind ages before i even got the idea. Vilgax should never ever wield any sort of weapon, because hes simply strong enough on his own that he can pure muscle and brain his way out of any conflict. Brute force is his fortei, not becasue hes dumb but because he just doesnt need to do anything else. BUT if you were to give him a weapon, it shouldnt be a sword or a gun (both things UAF had lmao) it should be something like a hammer or a mace or gauntlets. Brute force sort of weapon

Vilgax is a already warlord so it was simple to work off of his canon OS design (the coolest one) and come up with an armor for him. I also took some inspirations from Eva Unit-02 for the helmet and the cape (specifically its debut where it was covered in cloth)

Of course, for ascalon i had to go with hammer. I mean his ship is called the Chimeran Hammer so you gotta! Also i think its the most fun visual with vilgax

Last but not least, the last person to wield ascalon in the show, Ben himself! I originally wasnt planning to do this, but then i got the idea of giving him these 2 designs to represent his change in mindset he has in the finale

In the beginning hes mostly influenced by how he saw george wield ascalon and stuff,and hes kinda losing it in the sauce a little. So he has an armor similar to that of goerge. Then as he remembers his friends and his humanity, he comes back down to earth (metaphorically?) and his armor itself shifts to represent this, being a mostly cartoonish armor based off ultra ben who i assume is like bens sona or something lol

The cloth is a menacing badass cape like George's, but then shifts into this sort of bubbly friendly skirt. His weapon also shifts from daggers wrapped around the omnitrix (representing using the omnitrix as a wepaon) to a shield wrapped around the omnitrix (representing using the omnitrix as a peacekeeping device)

These weapons dont actually interact with his omnitrix in anyway, theyre mostly just wrapped around it so he can still access it. The aliens would probably have george's armor but with slight changes to fit each alien better

Bonus!!

My own takes on Vilcubra and Dagax

Always really really really disliked both of these designs in the show, they felt like they went through zero drafts before the final design and they just kinda did whatever (which isnt far off from how the rest of this arc was handled lol)

I tried making vilcubra look more creepy and like his body was indeed transformed to be a servant, and also closer to how the lacubras actually look so i SLASHED off his toesies and took out his eyes and put them on his shoulders so they dont look like eyes (leaving room for the teeth to overtake the face) also gave him a tail

I think the idea behind having Dagax be a floating vilcubra head vilgax was because they thought a floating normal vilgax head would look goofy (theyre right) but i think they failed to realize that the floating vilcubra head is equally goofy even if indeed you give it red eyes. So i just tried to make my design be something of a mix between the actual Dagon and vilgax

I admit i ran into some trouble trying to do that as vilgax was the OG cthulu inspired design, so trying to mix him with other cthulu presented trouble. I tried to at least slant his eyes the same way they looked in OS and give him the OS yellow spots, as well as the 2 big tentacles he has in the back of his head in OS and OV

[liverpool-enjoyer]

Gavi joins Liverpool?? Hello👀

YESSSS ive had that idea in my head for ages now!!! i havent started writing it yet n idk if i'll ever get around to it only cause idk how itll end (thats actually stopped me from writing a lotta fics, i cant imagine working on something if idk how i'll end it)

but for you my friend, i'll tell you some things i plan to include >:))

he transfers cause barca fucks up his contract renewal. idk shit abt the legalities n stuff of player contracts so itll be v inaccurate n i'll take a LOTTA liberties

lewy tries (key word TRIES) to teach pablito some english before hes shipped off to england

gavi gravitating to the spanish speakers of the team, especially stefan, since hes spanish n close in age

the first words outta dominiks mouth upon meeting him are some outta pocket shit (but like in a funny way)

robbo takes gavi golfing n trent tags along. fermin is also there. fermin n trent bitch abt their best friends while robbo teaches gavi to suck less at golf. someone takes a golf ball to the eye. (shoutout to my homie @tl-trashtalk for the idea. at least i think it was them. if not then uhhhh sorry bro)

"long distance" pedrigavi. i say "long distance" cause its a whopping TWO N A HALF HOUR FLIGHT. thats fucking light work.

ask abt my wips if you want!! :D

[sunnyyflowerrs]

Fanfic Writer Interview ✍️

hii rinnn @uriekukistan tysm for the tag!! <33

tagging anyone who wants to join in!

How many works do you have on AO3?

currently i have 10

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

1. fire extinguishers work just fine (https://archiveofourown.org/works/57077986/chapters/145164676)

2. five times the first years thought their sensei had a girlfriend + one time they figured it out (https://archiveofourown.org/works/56900434)

3. makes the heart grow fonder (https://archiveofourown.org/works/56275984)

4. copy cat (https://archiveofourown.org/works/58328917)

5. is it gay if our pinkies are intertwined? (https://archiveofourown.org/works/59123413/chapters/150748261)

(sorry for the ugly links tumblr was fighting me and i was Losing.)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes i do!! or at least i try to as much as i can, ive been bludgeoned to near death by school recently, but normally im good about it. i always always always appreciate comments and love to yap abt my fics (can you tell) and appreciate the time it took for someone to drop a comment so i love responding!! im slacking rnnn but trust imma get to that soon 🙏

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

ok im allergic to sad endings so i think the “angstiest” ending ive got is in makes the heart grow fonder. which is technically just canon jjk ending so

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

ngl, all of them 💀 they all end with itafushi together and in love and like no deaths so like what is happier??

i guess i would say copy cat has the happiest ending just bc they are not in jjk verse and their families and friends are all alive and not traumatized or whatever yk

Do you write crossovers?

no i never have! i probably wouldn’t bc it seems like a lot to juggle and i only really have jjk brainrot, but maybe i would write a fic of saiki k and gojo interacting bc that sounds hilarious

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not yet, but that’s mostly bc i’m basic asf

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

no sir, i’m too shy and under qualified for that, i was literally shitting my pants trying to write a kiss scene 💀

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope! i … actually did not know that was a thing

Have you ever had a fic translated?

also no! that would be so cool tho

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

YES I HAVE!! me and my friend @kentuckyfriedmegumi wrote the fic is it gay if our pinkies are intertwined together!! i had a dumbass idea and tess enabled me, and after 9 months (3 weeks) we birthed a beautiful baby fic <3 it was so fun writing tgth, our styles melded so well and i was able to outsource the kiss scene to her lol

i love tess and her writing so it was so great to work with her!! i thought co writing would be much harder but with her it was so easy and i would to do it again!! and there are so many authors i would love to collab with as well <33

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

itafushi!!! as you can tell. my entire ao3 account is basically a shrine to them

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i have this reallyyyy good idea for an itfs fic that’s set 10 years in the future after itafushi goes no contact, and they are forced to be teachers tgth at jujutsu tech (at like 27/28 ish) super slowburn, super intense, lotssss of tension.

but it would definitely have to be multi chapter and i lowk swore off of multi chapters for the foreseeable future since they kinda stress me out so, we’ll see. might happen wayyyyyyy later but not anytime soon.

What are your writing strengths?

i would say my biggest strength is threading canon into alternate universes. ig that’s super fanfic specific but it’s usually my favorite part of writing, seeing how i can interpret them in diff universes, it’s SO fun!

also i think im pretty decent at humor. or well, i make myself laugh and thats all that matters, right?

What are your writing weaknesses?

i think description. i tend to be veryyyy dialogue focused when i write, because i can see the scenes playing out in my head, but that means when i go and fill in description im like. struggling to find words.

i also think my pacing tends to be reallly fast when i don’t mean it to be (see above for why..) andddddd i mix tenses up so often it’s criminal. editing is a bitch.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

hmmm i’m unfortunately monolingual. or technically i’m bilingual but in an obscure language my characters would never know so, prob no dialogue in other languages. i think it hits if done correctly though

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

LINK CLICK!! genuinely one of my favorite shows ever but i never got a chance to write for it. i kinda have a devious fic idea but ive been so swamped with school and use my writing time on jjk so i haven’t gotten the chance.

also i recently joined the link click gotcha for gaza so maybe that will kick start me into writing for them!!

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

oh wow this is hard. i think “think fast” is a really good contender, but i think my actual favorite fic is something that’s still in the works, hopefully to be released soon.

and if we’re talking my favorite fic to giggle to it’s def copy cat, one of my silliest i love it

[joey-reads-fanfics]

MY FIRST PUBLISHED FANFIC

(The Beat Of A Heart) Ready To Love Again

for reference: this is a miraculous ladybug lukloe (luka/chloe) one-shot i wrote when i was fifteen, a little over two years ago. i wrote this under the name marichat_things (or Jenna Valdez) as part of a one-shot book sometime in january 2023. i remember a fanartist/fic writer who was kind of the unoffical queen of that ship commented on it which was amazing

however, in march of that year i had a moment of blinding clarity and decided i was far too deep in the throughs of fandom life 2023 me would hate to see 2025 me and deleted all my accounts. i tried to orphan the one-shot book but it didn't work, so i reuploaded it as a solitary one-shot and then orphaned it, along with another fic (which i will be posting about soon)

i know that this is actually incredible for a first published fic, but i honestly loathe it, because to me it is very amateur. but i thought it'd be fun to post about it and acknowledge my roots in fandom, and also give you a taste of my writing style (which hasn't changed a lot since then)

things i found in this fic

cool ass title

mr. pigeon or whatever the fuck his name is mention (luv that guy)

cologne mention (and rosin---the violinist in me is coming out)

now that i'm reading this the actual writing is fantastic

flashbacks and cutaways in center-aligned italics for some reason

ok so i vaguely remember this was supposed to be like, in a world where chloe was finally called out for everything she did and her life went to shit or somethin like that

OK so ive read farther and apparently lila did something??? (who knows)

flashback to chloe having some sort of massive breakdown

also mentions of sh surprisingly before i started

and also weight issues. why did i not tag these

RIDICULOUS UTTERLY RIDICULOUS

chloes thinking thru their entire backstory and lore and luka is just there. fuckin playing guitar

I KISS THE SCARS ON HER SKINNNNN

"plz dont hurt urself again" 0_o

romanticizing sh yayyyyyy (i do not associate myself with this "jenna"

redemption arc taking place over about 2 sentences

this was actually such an interesting backstory why did i not expand on this

whoa song lyrics

i remember writing a whole ass song why do we only get a chorus

somebody in the comments said its the best thing they've ever read. actually crying thats so sweet

in conclusion, 15yo me is not as shit a writer as i thought she was. still shit, but less shit.

also i need to get better at tagging

[catboygirljoker]

actually one more. Eraqus w/ 1, 5, 12, and 18 ok thanks i hope these all are fun ones 👍

did you know Eraqus is pronounced "era-kwus" in japanese? ever since i learned that im always tempted to pronounce it that way LOL. also it's an anagram of "square" (and very nearly just "square" backwards). anyway character ask game :3

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

ive only played 3 and watched DR once each so i feel like i wont have a very in-depth answer skldjhflsjdf but . i think he's really interesting! i like the development of his character over the course of the games and of his life. seeing how he used to be bright-eyed and idealistic, how that curdled over time into seriousness and dogmatism, how that opened the door for xehanort to manipulate and destroy the lives of his apprentices....i like when characters change, i like when they get worse, i like when they make mistakes.

also his character design fucks. that man ages like a fine wine. who said that. looking around sweating

idk about dislike. i wasn't super big on him in BbS but in general i feel that the game's writing has problems, i imagine owed largely to hardware limitations and to them trying to do something very ambitious by putting three stories in one game. now that ive gotten to see him in other games and i have a more complete picture of his character, i like him a lot more.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

ughghGHGMGM song about believing youre always going to be with this person and that youre both going to pursue your dreams. only for life to get complicated and in the way. one person still putting in the work for a constructive idea of the future while the other makes bad decision after bad decision. (who's who? tee hee.) fast car by tracy chapman.

(id love to have a better/less basic answer than that but thats what ive got. LOL.)

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

uhmm. DR-era Eraqus (lol) doesnt know how to cook many things but the things he does know how to cook are super fancy. he was a "blueblood". kid grew up rich. he makes like, really fluffy omelets in a special square pan he brought from home. barely knows how to boil noodles but he can make a hollandaise. he's self-aware enough to be a little sheepish about liking caviar but is surprised when his classmates dont know youre supposed to eat it with a mother-of-pearl spoon.

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

[gesturing helplessly at DR-era xehaqus] i mean. like. listen, im not big into shipping, i know that this subtext is entirely unintentional, but...i didnt really care about eraqus or xehanort before i played 3, and i was just immediately struck by how gay they are for each other. i was NOT looking for that energy from eraqus or xehanort and it bowled me over. their first brief cutscene together in 3 contains more homoeroticism than all of DDD combined. and Riku and Sora co-wield a rainbow heart-shaped keyblade in that game.

even if you dont read their relationship as romantic... theyre each other's better halves. you cant have one without the other. they come as a set. it's expected by everyone around them. i feel like one could do some really interesting stuff with exploring how the traumatic events of DR, and the years to come, changed both of them so much that they couldn't be described that way anymore.

and i also dont really know what other answer i could give lmao. i like his relatonships with the wayfinder trio, i think they're interesting and add to the story and to each of the characters involved, but i definitely wouldn't say i "admire" them when he failed all of them pretty badly.

[boardcertifiednipplesurgeon]

do u have any ocs 👉👈 a moot of mine asked and now i wanna know if u have one!!!!!

THANK YOU FOR ASKING I HAVE SEVERAL

okok so the main ones areeeee probably broanch (and all the other characters in sywpq by extension) and donovan but ive got some others

donovan doesn't have much lore but shes pretty much just 15 year old art kid who likes bunnies and drawing anime gore she makes those stickman fight animations in her free time and probably is somewhat scene now that i think about it??? that girl is blasting millionaires in the back of the classroom loud enough for everyone to hear lmao

i had a dream where i was having a panic attack in class and she calmed me down and gave me her hat and was very niceys so i made her real because she was nice lol

donovan is also not her real name but she thinks her real name is stupid so she doesnt go by it and she took the name off a book or something

^^ she

and then i put the sywpq stuff under the cut cus its long lol

ok so SYWPQ

first off I CANT FIND MY GOOD DRAWINGS OF THEM :((((( BUT HERES THEIR GENERAL DESIGNS

fair warning i wrote most of the lore when i was like 11 so its a bit stupid but eh

broanch is this girl from an alien race (called steyaes) that split off of humans a really long time ago and has kind of just been hopping planets ever since

the patch of galaxy they ended up in was very barren of resources so this species kinda spent a lot of time just floating around in the void in a sorta hibernation like state or hopping between asteroids and small planets, whatever they could find, and using the limited resources before jumping off to look for another

theres also a thing that like. evolved?? or something??? in thats essentially jsut magic they have magic powers. imagine like a video game stamina bar that empties as the character uses it to manifest objects and attacks and yeah thats pretty much it (it takes a lot of energy to use so it's not used often for anything more major than like. controlling small objects, manifesting clouds {saoirse does that a lot}, electrical shocks, etc, but it can be used for larger things like combat)

(broanch's power stuff is more suited to combat while saoirse's and juneau's are more for controlling water and air)

she had a shitty childhood, parental neglect n all that, and spent a lot of time playing by herself and with this pair of sisters she befriended (saoirse and juneau), and pretending that she was in charge of various different things and this eventually manifested into her really wanting to host some type of tv show

when she was around 16 she ran off cus. shitty home life. and since steyaes are one of the relatively stronger human-adjacent species she ended up taking up various jobs bounty hunting or going off looking for rabid animals that were causing issues so she can kill them or whatever

she kinda just went around doing whatever for a couple years until eventually

one day she and saoirse were on this random planet they found that didnt really have much going for it but they were just kinda talking doing whatever, when humans found it

at this point in the universe humans do know theres other civilizations out there and have talked to them but they all kinda tend to keep to themselves so the humans on the ship are a lil surprised to find someone here

since this planet is otherwise entirely empty theyre like "ok cool this is ours" but broanch basically just goes "nuh uh i was here first" and starts fighting with nasa cus this planet is HERS actually ueah totally uh huh

....and then i dont exactly remember what happens at this part cus again i made most of this when i was 11. but. basically they dont really resolve the fight but because its happening there's loads of tv coverage and broanch is immediately like "WOW IM ON TV :DDDD" and decides that now is when she should finally bring her tv show host dreams to fruition

since she's only known for being on this planet she decides to use it as the prize for her new gameshow and then also decides (purely to piss off nasa) that the show is going to be run as a club at a random highschool cus why not lmao

the show is called "So Ya Want Planet Q?" and the contestants are all 16-18 year old students at a highschool in bumfuck nowhere america

she did not tell them going into this that is was a gameshow and advertised the club as an "afterschool hangout thing"

episodes are recorded live through saoirse running around with a camera and the show functions similar to something like total drama or bfdi (i made this entire thing in the trenches of my bfb hyperfixation lmfao) except instead of elimination by vote theres a point system, and the games change pretty much every episode, ranging from fairly normal stuff like trivia to a literal bomb defusing thing at one point

broanch is the main host and does all the talking and saoirse is the cohost and helps set up challenges and man cameras, and acts as the voice of reason to broanch's stupidity

saoirse's spent more time on earth and knows more about social norms and culture and shit so she's also the "resident human expert" because broanch has no fucking idea what shes doing

saoirse and juneau im still working on fleshing out but theyre pretty much just. normal. idk

saoirse's the cohost obviously and while juneau does help with the show occasionally she generally thinks its a bad idea so doesn't very often

i have a few other misc characters but those are the two i draw the most :D ive got another thingie called like plantii or somethign but again that was mostly made when i was 11 and also all the lore is on my laptop profile that im still locked out of :(( ill find it eventually though

[funkii-fox]

ohmygosh i know EXACTLY who ur talking abt on that post with the self shipping hater and like mlm and wlw is better. they get on my nerves SO BAD like ive known them since 2021 or 2022 methinks but i have them blocked cuz no way u can say all that. french people amiright/j

BAHAHA well idk if u actually do, but thank god someone knows my struggle. I cant believe half the shit i read from his texts and stories bruh. Like okay buddy 👁️👄👁️

I feel like after a certain point, if an overwhelming majority of ppl dislike u, even within ur own community, even among ur closest friends, thats when u fail. Thats when u do introspection. Theres always haters trying to drag u down, but this guy has so many ppl that rightfully dislikes him for every single controversy hes ever gotten into. How is everyone else on the Earth wrong and ur the only one thats right?

And this guy knows hes abt to lose me too. Once i made a kinda vent post tht said “demons in my head: leave them before they can leave you”. It was more like a self deprecating meme, and it abt two unrelated moots. But this guy was so insecure and thought it was abt him. And every time i put a vague negative thing on my status like “wtf is wrong w this guy” he always asks abt who the note was abt, probably bc he suspects it’s abt him. Idk tho. Now that i think abt it he could be asking bc hes into drama

See, this guy is so misogynist and “ugh women this” but he LOVES drama and gossip, just like women stereotypically do. He HATES tucutes “grr bruja ari this” but his main oc looks like a girl “hes androgynous” bffr. He hates on women that self ship w ocs but he makes ocs 😭 this guy is the most giant fucking hypocrite I’ve ever seen bro

Recently he got mad at a reel in his feed and put it on his story. This reel was abt someone saying theyre only into autistic ppl, and my first thought was “same ngl there’s something wrong w neurotypicals” but this guy’s first thought was “HURRR DURR STOP SEXUALIZING AUTISTICS” …the ENTIRE comment section was the op fighting for their life bc theyre autistic and for some reason everyone thought they were neurotypical. And that tells me that this guy saw the post and immediately got mad and posted it to his story. Not even looking into the comments to see if his judgment was right💀

I remember he used to flirting w me. He got the fucking hint by now, but it was sooooo annoying 😭 u can tell he was hoping so bad that i would reciprocate his sexual “jokes” and it was awkward asf when i wouldn’t. I wonder if he thought he was sexy to me bc hes French. Like he assumes the accent was enough to pull me 😭 even tho ive stated a lot (not necessarily to him but in general) that im not looking for any romantic or sexual relationship w anyone rn 💀 i think the worst prt is that i dont hate sexual jokes between friends, but if i send these funny sexual memes hes gonna think i want some. Like no thanks :|

[da-gamingojichan]

Dick/Pussy Headcanons dropping when?

i wont lie guys i dont really know the variety of how genitalia can be different very well..... the most ive learned is when i went online and saw someone made a caard about their headcanons for the matusno brothers which included very detailed descriptions of each of their dicks (how i learned penises irl can have different amounts of curve) and their mental illness hcs (how i learned narcassism counts as a mental illness) and a bunch of other shit. but i have a little bit of headcanon for the characters i think a lot about

- germany has a penis that leans on the larger side and its terrible because he is never using it. its kinda ugly idk how because all genitals are ugly but he somehow has an ugly penis compared to other penises because germany is meant to be ugly to his core. it also turns super red like uncomfortably red (bright cherry red iphone 3) because i think he gets red really easily since hes freakishly pale. also his penis is abnormally sensitive but he doesnt know this because the only person to touch it is italy and italy has sex skills gifted by the lord so hes blessed because if anyone else gave him a handjob or blowie hed be like OWWW IT HURTS STAWP STAWP TOO HARD!!!!!

- italy has the most amazing awesomesauce pussy fucking ever. his pussy and strap on skills induce the same level of peace and prosperity as the shit those monks that live on the tops of mountains are aiming for. he literally has a talent thats gifted by god and it is in fact RIGHTEOUS of him to be banging bitches left and right because he needs to share his divine gift to the world. and thats why its fucking hilarious that hes wasting all this raw talent and perfect sex on hetalia "premature ejaculation king" germany. the mf that literally cant recieve a blow job without overstim because he always finishes before his penis makes contact with le mouf. germany would literally like anything from italy and italy is the sex god thats been cutrently saving our world from the nymphojinn. italy is the real life huniepop protagonist and hes retired to never have sex ever because his boyfriend is fucking scared and when he does its over with in 2 minutes.

- japan has a small penis. japanese men grower not show-er! i believe that japan wants to top but he never will because he cant be deadass enough to assert himself and say he wants to. also because if he tops the ship name has to have jap in it (IM JAPANESE I CAN SAY THE SLUR) and i think thats awesome and hilarious but people dont like that so hes banned from semeing forever because its racist. but i believe in his head he is a total kinky otaku sex freak who wants to seme so bad and use a jillion million sex toys you didnt even know could exist.

- prussia also has a slightly below average penis and hes very very very very very embarassed about it he will never admit its small he goes NO ITS GREAT AND MIGHTY OKAY. he calls his dick his "beautiful gleaming white saber of justice" sometimes and everybody fucking hates it. also its really sensitive so hes really picky about head and it pisses romano off because romano can tell when hes faking being comfortable (but it also would piss him off if prussia said his head wasnt good enough) and because of that he gives prussia head everytime they bang and its painful and prussia dreads it everytime and is like hahaha you dont have to if you dont want to... and romanos like "SHUT the fuck up and lay down you ungrateful piece of shit" but slowly he actually gets really fucking good and prussia likes it because hes refined his craft but now because prussia likes it romano stops and only gives head when prussia begs and pleads because giving head is disgusting.

- romano has a pretty good penis like idk what makes a penis pretty good. but its pretty good trust me on this guys its nothin to scoff at the ladies would love it if romano got any ladies (never ever). its regarded as a handsome penis i think like wow thats pretty good! its pretty average sized, maybe on the smaller end of the spectrum and that makes romano mad and incredibly insecure even though it doesnt really matter since romano is actually just a grower not a show-er. but yeah its good.

- benson regular show has a 6/10 gumhole.

[whoseafraidofliloleme]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Saw this and decided to do it myself... Obviously no one tagged me. As I carry on procrastinating the final chapter of HYGTG, lemme do this 😂 Also gonna change from AO3 to Tumblr 😊.

1. How many works do you have on Tumblr?

I've got 21 works, majority of them are Enhypen smaus and then there's the few one shots/Imagines. And my longest fanfic which is Invisible a Han Seojun fanfic.

2. What's your total Tumblr word count?

So this is just counting Invisible and the one shots Ive written, 41k... Majority of that is Invisible

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Kpop, specifically the group Enhypen. I add Harry Potter into that.

4. Top five fics by Notes?

Invisible at the top with the masterlist having 649 notes... Ngl seeing this makes me want to rewrite Invisible...

Unexpected Partners has 468 notes. Which makes sense, my Jungwon fics tend to be quite popular.

Peace has 365 notes. This was my first Enha & Harry Potter fic. I do love this one.

You Belong With Me has 337 notes. Another Harry Potter AU with a Jungwon redemption arc...

The Second Choice has 307 notes. Another Jay smau but this one is a Office Au with a toxic bestie.

Honestly apart from Invisible and Unexpected Partners being top 1 and 2, I wasn't expecting any of the other ones on this list.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yep, I wish I got more comments but I always reply to the comments I do get.

Shout out to @shinkenprincess-oh for always commenting <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I am very much against angsty endings. Happy endings all the way.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All my fics have happy endings so I don't even know which one has the happiest ending...

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Havent gotten any yet and I dont want to get hate either please.

9. Do you write smut?

Nope and I never will.

10. Craziest crossover?

I guess constantly mixing Harry Potter with kpop is as crazy as my crossovers get.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thankfully no but I'd like for it to not happen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope but I am open to it if anyone interested.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, that would be interesting to do though.

14. All time favorite ship?

Okay so thats a hard one... I'm gonna go with my top 4.

Harmione {Harry Potter and Hermione Granger}. I am a diehard Harry and Hermione shipper. I just love them so much.

Olicity {Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak}. I was shipping them from the moment Felicity was introduced on the show.

Damianette {Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Damian Wayne}. All my knowledge of DC has come from reading Maribat fics and I do not regret that in the slightest.

Rogan {Rory Gilmore and Logan Huntzberger}. They will forever be my ultimate ship. In my headcanon they ended up together happily ever after.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Its more like whats an idea that I actually want to write... Its a hard one cause I have so many ideas running about in my head that very few of them actually make it to being published...

16. What are your writing strengths?

I guess coming up with backstories for my characters? Making people care even though you are only seeing the story through texts and tweets? Character development and growth?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Haha... Everything?

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I think its quite interesting but I would like a translation somewhere so that I at least know whats been said. Unless its important to the plot then its fine.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Technically it was Pixelberry Choices Mobile Games stories(? dunno what else to call them) specifically I wrote for High School Story and High School Story Class Act. I have since deleted those fics from my tumblr and Wattpad, they are still on AO3 but I've orphaned them.

Invisible my True Beauty fic is the one that I count as the first fandom I wrote in.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I legitimately cant pick one, so shameless plug for whoever comes across this to check out my Enhypen Masterlist and True Beauty Masterlist.

Whoever wants to do this, go and have fun cause I have no idea who to tag...

[punkbxt]

dime the takes. por favor.

*gets real close to the vending machine* quiero pepsi

okay all seriousness tho imma try to do this in a way thats like idk semi respectful towards janeway but i also need yall to know i do NOT reallyf fuck with her. idk if ive explained why before but i guess here we go

unlike most people that enjoy star trek i didnt really get into it till 2018 and then the demmy hit n i had nothing but time to consume every star trek imaginable and thats how i found voyager. yeah sure make fun of me for not knowing what star trek is but i need YALL to know that it is white and usamerican culture to be raised on trek and I DONT CARE. the only reason i got into star trek is bc a white friend introduced me. all this to say i was introduced to janeways actress through oitnb red ilu so much red best evil white lady <3

anyways i know janeway gets hate for having been the only lady captain and i always preface anything i say about her with this so yall understand that this is not the reason i dislike her but in reality it doesnt help either

also its tiring as fuck to include my opposing argument but it has to be done bc ppl are like “what about- pkay but you didnt consider how- yeah but- actually youre wrong bc-“ like fuck man im doing my damndest i literally hate voicing my opinions bc yall INSIST people of color dont actually get it n its tiring

if youve followed me since i started voyagerposting you may have noticed ive only actually drawn janeway twice and its cuz as a person she rubs me the wrong way for so many reasons

janeway gets put in this impossible position of being the top of the hierarchy pyramid to a crew that doesnt think theyll ever make it home again. shes deemed a mother figure by a LOT of characters but im gonna talk abt her dynamics with b’elanna, and seven because if i were to talk about the dynamics between janeway and harry thatd have to be its own post

when i get into a show, i loooveeee knowing what was happening behind the scenes because i love it!! i love set design i love character design i love costume design i love seeing what the actors are like outside of the show and how they feel about these characters bc these things ARE important. (writers too pero i have beef) behind the scenes is the biggest influence to the final product bc its the reason the final product exists in the first place and behind the scenes so many things went wrong. and when actors are mistreated or dont get along with eachother it becomes pretty apparent. well at least if you analyze things the way i do

so heres my issue with janeway seven and b’elanna. b’elanna is typecast to be the ugly character. klingons gave always gotten the short end of the stick and the case with her isnt as harsh bc her actress is a mixed puerto rican (information that has actually only recently been revealed bc when i tried to find out what roxan’s ethnicity was in 2019 i literally could not find anything definitive except for shes latina) but she STILL gets a lot of shit

one of my favorite things about voyager before the introduction of seven was how b’elanna and janeway actually got to bond a lot over science and when seven took on the roll of pretty girl on the ship, b’elanna and janeway suffered a LOT for it. we have an interesting dynamic between a maquis engineer and a federation captain genuinely not getting along bc b’elanna doesnt see janeways as an authority figure. not until chakotay has something to say about it and also until b’elanna and janeway actually talk about shit n get over their differences. the issue is when ppl purposely skip the earlier seasons to get to seven and then a lot of important interpersonal character building is missed I SAY THIS BC PEOPLE OFTEN FORGET THAT VOYAGER HAS BEEN ASSIMILATED BY THE BORG BEFORE AND EVEN THE WRITERS LET IT SLIP THEUR MIND N ITS LIKE BRO U HAVE GOLD TO WRITE WITH N U JUST LET IT COLLECT IN THE CORNER

seven is a unique and interesting character when she is first introduced. seven looks like any other borg and is so COOL. and then immediately all the cool interesting things about the way seven looks is basically negated to a few shiny parts. and yes janeway is partly to blame

BUT! what is the easiest way to gain the trust of people who already have bad history with who you once were? assimilation of course! seven goes from being one of many to the outcasts outcast

but punkbxt! what does any of this have to do with why you dislike janeway as a character? if anything it sounds more like you dislike seven. as long as the character is white ill always hold a lil disdain for them in my heart <3

janeway symbolizes the best of starfleet. she is an accredited officer and an extremely capable scientist. she is a beautiful white woman in THE position of power something that was revolutionary for her time. the issues with white women being put in positions of power is they they have NEVER had the interests of black and brown people to heart. “yes they-“ SHUT UP and let me speak before you decide to comment on this goddamn post

feminism throughout the centuries has focused on white women and while a show is merely a fraction of the lived reality of its time the effects are still extremely clear. white feminism JUMPED at the character of janeway and celebrated her and rightfully so! the issues came about when women like b’elanna got attacked and pushed to the side. this directly affected janeway within fandom and she got and still is recognized for accomplishments SHE DID NOT DO. she got put on a pedestal and once that happens to a character they suddenly can do no wrong. except she does because shes a human and shes white and shes a character with writers behind her

b’elanna has never actually been a super popular character and the wave of love for her is actually pretty fucking recent and not to toot my own horn but i definitely was a big part of the b’elanna love resurgence. when i got into voyager and these dates ARE important, i used to scroll through her entire tag easily a couple times through a DAY. fans occasionally created art for her and yeah! she got fics but nowhere in comparison to her other peers. surrounding yourself with people who also love her and want to create for her does help with recognition of b’elanna but its super recent stuff. and to add onto that any white fan that has an opinion about her will always be biased because they just do not understand what it is like to exist as a latina woman of color

this is where me myself and i come into the story because wowowowowow star trek is so cool! star trek preaches on and on and on about diversity love acceptance hate oppression and all that good stuff so who wouldnt love it??? and then??? OMG THERES A LATINA CHARACTER IN ONE SERIES OMG OMG OMG. imagine my disappointment when i found out that she a main character barely was getting any love. it hurt. because even within a narrative of inclusion somehow characters of color just seem to always be pushed to the side. especially when a fandom has such a majority percentage of white people

watching her story was SO personal to me. i could see myself in her struggling with living in america. i lived my childhoods in puerto rico and in many different parts of usamerica, surrounded by family and people like me until that wasnt the case anymore. i spent my life living as a nomad with no place to call home for on average no less than a year and no more than three. i could understand b’elanna with her struggles of living in a klingon monastery and then being thrust into an unforgiving and unaccepting world where humans/white people are the most important. the internalized racism that i grew up with was horrendous and to this DAY i am still trying to learn and better myself and connect with my culture in any way i can. because in a black ans white world, where is the space for those of us that dont fall under either? we are ignored and erased and with b’elanna is has been the same

the rejection b’elanna had to her klingon side was something i could relate to incredibly. but it still isnt enough. because even though i could connect with her through her klingon-ness, her latinidad is simply a label. throughout the show you see her change and grow and assimilate to the federation standard and it HURT. the narrative that i was directly picking up from her story was yeah you can be a part of the club but only if you do it how we want you to do it. and dont you EVER even talk about being latino unless its to shit on your deadbeat of a father. and i did. i learned how to adapt at an extremely young age. ive been told its one of the things i do best (sad isnt it?)

and okay how do seven and janeway have anything to do with this? well they are the white women who we literally have to conform to and for. thats it period

seven as a character had an amazing opportunity to challenge gender and sexuality because of her story (one that would have been better suited had she been an indigenous woman which ive spoken on before but thats for another post too) and then the people in charge decided that she just HAD to be the sexywoman instead of leaning into just how much she was no longer human and how humanity itself doesnt actually have one right way to be

this narrative is given to us by janeway time and time and time again correcting seven and telling her that seven simply is not himan enough and still has to learn. (things autistic ppl can suuuuuper relate to which is a reason i could connect with seven at all). no matter how you want to look at it (whatever canon you want to decide isnt canon anymore for the sake of a fucking ship) janeway was directly written to be a mentor and mother figure to seven. janeway is there to help her learn when in reality she can never understand what its like to be an outcast within the federation and to take it a step further be part of a eace which is treated with hostility by humans. something b’elanna CAN understand and relate to because at the time of voyager shits still om the rocks between klingons and humans. janeway pushes seven to accept and embrace humanity as if thats the only option seven has to become a better character but its just not true. the story woven between janeway and seven is one of white women and femininity and how to be the perfect white woman and how to be a good lover. by actively ignoring the help and influence b’elanna could have provided for seven to learn and adapt to a majority human world they put all that weight on janeway. something that affects ALL three of them negatively and results in a narrative of “well b’elanna could never understand and relate to seven in a way that matters” which is beyond true because they are so interwoven even unintentionally so. it simply just wasnt taken further and its a true shame

and this isnt even touching on how badly seven’s actress was treated by janeways actress for being the pretty new doll at the time of filming and how that affected how i felt about janeway/seven as a ship (similarly how castle and beckett did not get along behind scenes i could no longer enjoy that show anymore)

i simplified this IMMENSELY and this shit is already long enough as it is so im sorry about that but yeah thats it. also sorry if things got repetitive ive been told i tend to do that when i write. these are my feelings and i am a real human behind this account so keep in mind how you react to this post. i have recieved countless hate anons most of which ive deleted throughout my short lived time as a fan of this franchise. i used to be MUCH more vocal about representation within star trek and people got mad so i left. but im back because the people that love b’elanna and that love that i have things to say about her matter so much fucking more than any angry person ever will