#that's why she said “you don't even know him”. she said that because she saw how kind he was to everybody his compassion his love his warmth | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gooperts-gunk · 2 days ago

Text

post-qsmp q!bbh's story so far...

back to back we have had new q!bbh story pieces, on mythcraft with lilithluvsya and as mr. x on arkanis, so im going to write down all of my own notes of what we have learned so far + my crazed theory talk :) this will be long!!! note: this is from the perspective of someone who doesn't know mythcraft lore and the only arkanis lore i know is from what i pick up in passing lol. i will do my best!!

starting with the halloween special on mythcraft with lilith and rurus in which bbh helps lilith solve a puzzle that leads to her finding and adopting a new child, we get to see an actual bbh summoning!! im unsure if the treats are a necessary offering or just a kind gesture, but the soulfire-esque flames or wisps seem to be a very specific detail...

the chant lilith says is "hear these words, hear my cry, spirit from the other side! come to me, i summon thee, cross now the great divide!" implying that if he's summoned, chances are, he was in the underworld or somewhere else. later on during technical difficulties, lilith mentions that "i don't even know the state of his soul at the moment! because usually whenever i summon a chant through those words," she repeats it, "his soul just acted a bit... weird! he usually doesn't act like that whenever i summon him. usually, the magic feels a bit more smooth, and it was very choppy this time. his soul just felt different from the last time i saw him. i can't put my finger on it." it's hard to say what exactly this means, (i've seen some people think it's about how he died with a split soul, he never got the other half back from purgatory as far as we know...) as we've never seen him be summoned before, but in this case, he just showed up on the chest crying out a confused "HELLO...?" but later on says "i could sense something was off, that's why im here." with his trickster confidence. he also mentions he's "been around, doing my thing. im very busy," and no concrete answer is ever stated. another detail is that halloween is said by lilith to be "the veils between our world meet once a year," meaning as far as we know he can only be summoned on halloween.

when he accepts the treats and attempts to leave he says "im trying to get back home!" a place of residence for q!bbh is implied, whether or not it's one we know of or even if it's an actual house is uncertain. when bad comes across a haunted house he says "oh my gosh! i had a house like this once, only it was red." which might cross out the place of residence being on the island. might, considering the house was later changed because most people hated the red lol. when bad is downed from fall damage lilith comments "why are you so fragile?! you're not usually, like, this breakable." bbh says "oh, as soon as i die, i get to go back home, so..." since we know how !bbh deaths work, (he can only perma-die once from a unique death, e.g. the combination of soul vulture infection and nuke radiation slowly ate away until perma-killing that version of himself, which means it was an entirely unique instance of death. so it's safe to assume that ever since he had fallen, he would have perma-died from simple things like starvation, but then can no longer perma-die from it again, with a possible exception of if it's starvation along with something else at the same time) we know that him dying wouldn't be enough to bring him 'back home' if it's implied to be the underworld or the mind desert, therefore, it would mean that if he dies during a summoning that the connection is immediately broken and he's back to wherever he was at the time. he's sometimes even excited whenever he gets downed, even saying "take me! take me home!" either because 1. he just really wants to get home for some reason or 2. he just really doesn't want to work for lilith.

but, we know he doesn't HAVE to work for lilith, because lilith states at the end after he's left to fellow mythcraft member nex that, "you know how im a witch? ... WELL... a long, LONG time ago... i made a mistake with my magic and i MIGHT have summoned a greater demon who turned out to be a TRICKSTER demon instead and KINDA reversed the contract on me and NOW im stuck with him until i die and i have to do his bidding whenever he comes around, but only whenever i create the first kind of contract for him to flip around. and he kind of... is around, and changes rurus a lot, and i have to work to make sure that rurus can transform back into a human one day because they're stuck in their bunny form..." which is a LOT to digest and she said it all in like two breaths lol. so in reality lilith is stuck with bad, not bad being stuck with lilith, and bad could peace out whenever he wanted because it's trickster demon rules and on top of that he can also transform humans into bunnies??!!

going back to where my previous notes were, when they arrive at rurus' house and bad seeing a painting of himself with 5 cracked eggs around him, he exclaims, "what the fudge is that?! THAT'S CRAZY!! who's the monster who made this??" meanwhile lilith is oblivious to whatever this means. he also steals the painting. rurus shows up! (rurus says he smells like sulfur, which is definitely the 'demon smell' ak!bagi mentions once she has a moment to speak with him after the chaos) rurus mentions making the painting and it was likely a gag that bad wasn't supposed to see during the lore stream but it's there now LOL and bad repeats the same horror to them as they're oblivious too, "it's you blowing up the moon! all the moons that you've blown up?" "oh, yeah, im sure it's blowing up the moon!!" he says in angry sarcasm, and then sobs a little. "i had eggs once..." both lilith and rurus inquire, and lilith is the one to say "you became a father?" in myth!lilith's defense, the residents have a lot of adorable baby creatures they care for and might sooner assume the eggs in question are cute creatures LOL "well i just said i had eggs, so..." "oh, you hatched them?" "ohhh he HAD eggs- lawren, he- he hit menopause, he said something about that..." I HEEHEE'D. idc if it's just a goof and not entirely canon im keeping it in here.

later on, when the trio complete the puzzles and find a well-decorated baby ghost named willow inside a willow tree, bbh's behavior to willow is very endearing and also straight-forward, casually offering some steak that he stole from rurus' house. he finds the way out of the tree for them by hearing a raccoon's chitter, and lilith comments "you're really good at talking to raccoons for some reason..." and rurus pokes further with "did you have a special relationship with a raccoon?" "yeah i- i speak raccoon." this of course is brought up from the perspective of both of them knowing his lore out of character and wanting to poke fun, but it's also a fun coincidence that it was a raccoon, as raccoons are very special to pomme. it starts storming, and rurus tells bad to give willow his hood but alternatively gives willow his soul lantern instead since his hood is a "...non-removable item...".

when they bring willow back to lilith's house, he continues stealing like he has been since he was summoned, but this time he takes a cookie from a cookie jar and passes one to willow before taking one for himself. when willow thanks him and says she loves cookies, he gives her another and says "you can never have too many cookies!" which would immediately make you think of his kids and their cookies, dapper especially as they're a total cookie fiend. as willow settles in he teaches willow the first and only lesson he's given to her so far: "whenever someone invites you into their home, you get to take whatever you want!!" he goes upstairs and shows himself and willow around lilith's house, rurus mentions a gaming chair, of which was a toilet. bad takes it and says, "i know someone who would love this!" which of course would be richas' gaming set-up that had a toilet for a chair because of a prank, if i remember correctly.

bad asks where his room is, making an assumption that his summoning meant he was going to move in. when lilith says he could stay at rurus', REALLY not wanting him here, he says "i can't have a room at both??" like the greedy little man he is. <3 willow is then shown her own room, where bad then proceeds to place the furniture he stole from lilith into the room for her.

the birth certificate is revealed! willow is lilith's daughter, and bbh is her guardian demon. (many were unsure if he was a parent to willow but lilith clarified on twitter that he's a guardian demon that will show up from time to time) rurus inquires if HE scribbled his name there, and he says "no, no! that's crazy. that'd be ridiculous." in a bit of a liar voice.

when he accidentally picks up willow's sign, he courteously says "im sorry," and gives it back, prompting rurus to tell lilith she could just ask and he'd give her stuff back. when she does in a cutesy way, he dodges it entirely by saying "no hablo inglés" and when lilith demands for the furniture in spanish, he says "i don't speak spanish". i wouldn't call it entirely parental as willow's not his kid, but as you can tell bbh has shown far more care and respect to this child he just met than his contractors. the trickster has priorities!

they tuck willow into bed, and bbh falls asleep standing up, when lilith starts shoving him saying it's time to get him to bed, he wakes up suddenly, yelling "night terrors!! night terrors!!" we know he's gone long periods of time without sleeping, but he's having night terrors when he does...

bbh has technical issues, and during that time, rurus and lilith have a back and forth about him and their contract which is summarized in the bout with nex above. rurus says "you know, i used to be able to swear before i knew him, and now i can't." "huh! that's a weird incantation." this itself is likely a joke about their out of character friendship, but they come up with the idea that he might have a literal swear jar that he puts people's swears in, never to be said again lol.

lilith decides to keep the portal open as bad loses summoning connection to their world (aka technical difficulties) so he can visit whenever he likes to be a guardian demon for willow.

this wraps up the mythcraft section of new q!bbh pieces! onto arkanis!

a lot of people were unsure if mr. x would be q!bbh, but it becomes VERY clear based on how he acts with familiar faces, and some late night conversations...

not much to note when bad / mr. x greets fit, but there's a very silly familiarity when he says he'd like to take fit out to brunch right before talking about torturing him... yeah sure man why not O_O when fit asks if he's considered being GOOD and not murdering people, bad says "i considered it, but my therapist says i should embrace my hobbies. im trying to listen to my therapist more." so he at least had a therapist in recent times to tell him this, because on quesadilla island when asked about therapy, he mentioned something along the lines of that he tried therapy once, but he'd get chased out of town by people with pitchforks.

to briefly dissect the cutscene, from what i've learned, bad floating is a sign that he's powerful in valigma! only people with magic in valigma can float, examples being araldo when we get to see him later, and also bia raux who is also brought up to bad when telling him the current lore after the event. also. the manor. the banquet. i love you builders, it's so eggpire-coded. that man can't escape the aesthetic of red vines even if c!bbh tried LOL and another fun detail, he has ghosties/souls bursting around him! it's become integral to his character :)

when mr. x encounters the brazilians and his escaped captive fit, all the fantasminhas float around him! it's super cute that the grim reaper got little ghost sidekicks, and then doesn't even recognize that they're ghosts <3 he mostly called denix a gremlin or goblin, but that's because out of character he DEFINITELY knew who the admin was, that's why he bullied them so much and not the others lol.

even though he's having fun annoying everyone as mr x., bad still takes moments for the little ghosts, like spam crouching with amora when she creeps up to him, him and denix bonding by killing a penguin?? and playing songs on the flute and they all surround him and dance. :)

when the find the button room starts, and bad does his npc voice, bagi immediately starts yelling, knowing the "you got this! you can do it!" all too well, and bad keeps saying it in recognition. while it was already true that ak!bagi is a continuation of q!bagi, this interaction itself can be enough to assume that mr. x is q!bbh if he remembers it like she does. when it's revealed it's a find the button room, she's even MORE distressed, "are you responsible for this? please- please tell me you don't..." "i would never!" he says like a liar, and then maniacally laughs. bagi also frequently calls him "bad" and not mr. x unlike mostly everyone else, seeing through the silly alias.

one interesting detail is how hungry mr. x is for totems!! every once in a while he'll mention how he wants more totems popped, in the valigma cemetary / cemetario do valigma, he asks quel for how many totems they have, when they say a hundred, he says "passa tudo!" and drops mobs on them. he really wants totems for some reason!! does he absorb something from it or did he just really hate foolish that day? lol

once the event is over, bad and bagi get to talk! bad becomes uncle to amora, bagi's daughter. amora is immediately very sweet to bad! bagi catches bad up on what's going on in valigma, telling him about araldo and bia, and bagi thinks because he's a demon that he could help the specialists understand and handle the magic themselves, "you see those pink blocks glowing that way? they're like some of the magic powers that this land has, but we can't just touch it and start doing magic all the way through the town. so, basically, there's powers everywhere that we don't know how to use and those two entities fighting each other, they use different kinds of power. so maybe you, being a demon and stuff... maybe you can teach us how to handle this." which, upon mention of him being a demon, he deflects by admiring a streetlamp. bad didn't act this way with lilith and rurus because they were already aware he was a demon since they summoned him, but he never confirmed anything to bagi other than the vague vastness of his age and his immortality, if i remember correctly. which is more than he's confirmed to other people!

bad points out bagi's smoking, "you've taken up smoking, im guessing it's been really hard?" "yeah! yeah, no, that was because, the things i lived before, you know..." "yeah i understand..." "it caused me a lot of trouble." if im correct in assuming this is about the island and losing the kids... :( which bad then segues into asking if there's an ikea. LOL

when jvnq starts taking bad to pac's house to steal furniture, he says "oh wow! you guys are all nice and close together, i like this. yeah, i hate having to walk really far." knowing that q!bbh tried really hard to get people to live close by to him when he was dying so someone would take care of his kids recontextualizes this as living far away being a regret he still holds </3 (not to mention, cc!bad himself regrets building his bases so far away)

when pac says he'll give bad more muffins and furniture if he teaches him how to fly and such, bad deflects by saying "yeah! it's easy, you just got to... you got a- you got a nice view!" and looking at the black hole outside his house.

later on, when bad gets transported by araldo, they seem to get along nicely and araldo wants him to do MORE chaos at some point, which i believe is worrisome if it's true that araldo is the problem in the fight between araldo and bia raux... but also very fitting for him. meanwhile, sent back to his friends, he has only good things to say about him, and also inserted some of his silly lies. the entire interaction feels reminiscent of the times he'd talk about the 'eyeball guy with the snatched waist' aka the watcher, or even cucurucho to a certain degree LOL

when gabe takes bad to space, bad comments that it's a first for him! "the moon is just like i imagined it'd be..." congrats !bbh for having your first moon experience, at least, as far as you can remember!

meanwhile, transported to the mr. x manor, bad gives a dizzying tour to gabe, denix, and amora! he introduces the skeppy room when asked about his bedroom, mentioning he doesn't really need to sleep, and he instead meditates on top of the skeppy. (someone PLEASE feed this man dapper's special cake recipe) he also introduces his chair and i have no doubt that people have shown a comparison of his chair here vs. his chair in the hall of grim but i'll put it here anyways lol. he's also very consistent because the vod i went to to get a screenshot of his hall of grim chair is the near exact same "and this is my chair..." when he introduces it.

when bad, gabe, denix and amora are in the maze that the experts + fit went through to get to the cemetary, they stop at a corner to chat and gabe asks bad "changing the subject a little, if you had a son now what would his name be?" (possibly more gender neutral than the translator says, which is how bad interprets it,) this likely was on the mind because a bit earlier while exploring the manor, denix asked him to give him a second name or middle name and bad hadn't answered. bad stops to think about it, before prefacing "well, i- i've had kids over the years, a couple, but you're saying if i got a new kid, right? what would i name... him... probably... how do you say 'gremlin' in portuguese?" it's the same, but alternatively gabe offers "duende." meaning denix's second name is probably duende now LOL but more importantly, for the first time, at least directly tonight, q!bbh was reminded of his children. gabe contextualizes why he asked, "it's because in this city... anything can happen, you understand? one day you're single, and sad, and the next you have a family." "no, that's true... yeah. i- i understand what it's like, one day you just wake up and you got kids, i totally get it... and then everybody dies, and you're left alone." OOGH. EEYOWCH. we don't know for certain how long q!bbh has been living after escaping quesadilla island, or if even in the end cc!bad is planning that he escapes at all, he might still be bound to it. but however long it's been, he's been carrying onto the weight of everyone disappearing, with only strange creatures (the bunnies, the penguins, cucurucho...) to keep him company once everyone is gone. gabe inquires about if his family died, and he covers up with "oh, no, im just saying that's the inevitable. that's what happens, sorry." ...top 10 sentences that are more depressing when contextualized by an immortal demon with a heart too big for people to comprehend... :( something that bad misses here is denix asking if he wants to adopt amora, but this comes back around!

transported again, while gabe walks bad towards the boat the experts arrived on, he says "valigma keeps many mysteries and lots of trouble, right? fights, in this case many fights, problems, death, pain, suffering, and then we decide to have a child despite all these problems; how can this be, right? it's a weak point." bad says "yeah, love tends to lead to lots of problems..." which would be specifically commenting on taking care of children. and from the perspective of his current situation, being without them... yowch. :( then bad falls into a ravine, shoved by denix, and amora saves him. :) but when he fell he purposefully avoided landing in the water. :(

later on they go to the leaderboard! there amora offers that bad can adopt her for a while, since she's "kinda an orphan" based on the activity of her parents other than bagi, and he accepts :) though knowing he literally can't be active either lol. from then on, amora calls bad "dad" for the rest of the night, and "pai bad" the next day when talking with some of the experts :)

some more fun stops later, they pause in the gallery as gabe explains more of the araldo and bia beef, to which bad says once more to "wine and dine" araldo... if u want it done right, do it urself, geez... chat, beat this guy up for me... he has a weakness for guys with power... another moment in this stop to goof around, bad says "yeah, im really good at cooking... people. meals." which is normal q!bbh and the least surprising thing he's said or done all night.

the night slowly comes to a close, after running into guaxi for a small reunion, he says goodbye with a bang when denix kills him and he logs out. they then contain mr. x's corpse in a box of glass, preserved for memories <3

if this is what post-qsmp has been like for q!bbh so far, IM SO EXCITED FOR MORE!!! and yes i HAVE spent at least 5 hours writing notes as i vod review!!! q!bbh on arkanis felt a lot like a classic day on qsmp with his character plus some pain and suffering, and q!bbh on mythcraft gave us some extra lore bits to think about!!! very very fun, im sooo excited for whatever ending cc!bad has been wanting to make for q!bbh, because if it means he's still kicking it going around to other worlds, all of his pain in tow, IM SO READY!!! thank you if you went through everything here it was a doozy and mostly for yelling about with other people since i haven't been on tumblr for a while and i miss the screams from here. :)

#longpost #goopert talks qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp #i spent way too much time on this but i miss yelling here. let's all stay caught up on our little guy *bags under my eyes*#it's fall back time in america so i watched the clock go from 1:50 am to 1:50 am a second time. i do this for q!bbh. goodnight everyone

121 notes · View notes

lukalnst · 1 day ago

Note

I have 2 requests if you dont mind. 1) their reaction to receive flowers. 2)making them pick a number from 1 to 50 and kissing them to that number. (You can do any character if it gives you ideas.✨)(Alien stage) I think there are 4 requests, feel free to reject them.💗

ALIEN STAGE CHARACTER REACTIONS TO GIVING THEM FLOWERS + KISSING

Includes: Mizi, Ivan, Till / Gender neutral pronouns for reader / Fluff / Kisses / Gift giving

Mizi

"You — You really got these for me?"

She is pretty flustered by your gift. She has received flowers in the past on a few occasions, but it didn't mean that much to her; however, you had gotten those for her!

She tries to get you a gift back as soon as she can!

She will maybe try to ask for what you'd like (which she would try to do subtly, but fail miserably at it), and then gift you the things that you asked for.

Chocolates? Flowers? Plushies? Just ask for it!

As for the kisses, I'm pretty sure she'd be flustered by your first kiss with her.

She was a bit awkward when doing it, yes, but she tried her best!

As for the kissing number thing – she chose a number somewhere around 20~.

You can imagine her face when you kissed her around 20 times!

She's not complaining, though.

"Mizi! I got these for you!" You said, practically shoving the flowers in her face. She was a bit taken aback, but she hesitantly took them.

"You got these for me? Why – why?" She managed to stutter out. She was a bit confused, but she wasn't upset. Was it your anniversary and she had forgotten? Did she forget her own birthday?

You just smiled at her. "Well, because I love you!" You beamed out. Now, her face had warmed up slightly and also had a pink blush covering her cheeks.

"I... love you too."

Ivan

He had gotten flowers for you in the past on many occasions but never expected you to do the same.

"You... you don't have to."

He wasn't upset – just confused at why you would get anything for him. He hadn't done anything particularly great, so there wasn't any need to gift him anything.

Ivan was about to speak again when he simply got interrupted by your question. Choose a number? Odd, he chose 35 though.

Oh, the way he got embarrassed after each kiss was nearly adorable.

Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

He didn't want to admit to this, but he loved each time you kissed him. He was quite disappointed when you finished, though. For him, this should've lasted 5 hours at least.

Ivan was quick to return the favor! Gently holding your face in his hands, he placed a soft kiss on your lips.

He was... so gentle with it, too. His touch was feather light, and the way his lips brushed against yours was so soft.

"I love you," he whispered.

Till

Flowers...? had someone died and he just wasn't aware of it?

He was reluctant to take them at first, he looked around to make sure there was no one around and then took them.

He didn't want to admit this either, but he appreciated everything you did for him.

"Idiot. You don't have to," his words would be harsh to basically anyone who didn't know him, but you knew those words lacked any real meaning.

He grabbed your hand and took you to a secluded place, making sure that no one would see any of you.

Hesitant, he kissed your cheek.

How absolutely adorable.

You asked him to choose a number from 1 to 50, and he chose the highest; 50.

He didn't have anything to loose anyway...

You can imagine his reaction when you kissed him nearly 50 times.

By the time you were about to finish, he pushed you away, his face being practically beet red, and he gently brushed his hand over the places where you had kissed him on.

"Don't – don't do that in public!" He reprimanded you.

Secretly, he enjoyed each kiss.

"Stop– stop doing that!" He protested as you placed your lips against his face once again. He didn't hate those kisses – it was pretty much the opposite.

But what if someone saw you both? They'd definitely tease him about it.

Even though he was deeply embarrassed, he softly kissed your lips and then just hoped it was enough to keep you satisfied.

"Freak," he stuttered out.

#alien stage #alnst x reader #alien stage x reader #till x reader #ivan x reader #mizi x reader #fluff

94 notes · View notes

things-arent-what-they-seem66 · 21 hours ago

Note

I got an AU for you...

Yandere Lucifer x Adam x Yandere Lucifer.

They would fight at first about who could have him before realizing they could share him in Eden.

They love and pamper Adam, but they are passive-aggressive to pretty much anyone else. They REALLY don't like Eve.

Lucifer and Lilith find out that Adam's purpose was to only breed others and so they didn't even teach him to talk or no other things, unlike Lilith. They were furious when they found out because it turns out Adam was made only with certain knowledge and not the whole package.

So they steal him away...

XxX

Adam opened his eyes for the first time and breathed in the air. He sat up and looked around, not quite understanding what was going on. That is until he saw the most beautiful-looking woman he had ever seen. He didn't know how he knew that it was a woman but he just did. She had long blonde hair down to her feet, purple eyes, and the loveliest smile.

"Welcome to Eden, humans." They both turned to see beings made of pure light gaze upon them as they were told what their purpose was. After they were told to multiply, be fruitful, and name all the animals, they said, "And now, we must leave. But farewell, First Man and Woman." And then they were gone.

Adam didn't completely understand what those beings were saying, but already Lilith was standing on her two feet as she walked over to Adam.

"You're very pretty..." She said as she smiled. Adam didn't know what that meant but he smiled since Lilith said did it to him. He tried to mimic her voice but his words didn't come out as naturally as her's.

Lilith frowned and touched his throat. "Can you not speak?" She asked concerned and Adam shook his head, tears pricking his eyes. He knew what he wanted. What he wanted to say, but speaking came out in squeaks.

Lilith gently shushed him and said, "Sh, it's okay. No need to cry." Cry? Was that what he was doing? Lilith cooed and held him making him feel very warm. Adam wanted to see the differences between them and began comparing.

He had a long penis between his legs and Lilith had a vagina. He didn't know how he knew that. He knew that her chest was bigger than his and he wished he had them too. He patted his flat chest and looked at Lilith's sadly.

Lilith laughed when she realized why he was still pouting. She didn't know why, but this man was funny and cute. He didn't speak, which she found odd and a little alarming but she did like how cute he looked on her lap. It seemed natural.

"We have the same bits here though, see?" She pinched Adam's nipples and pointed to hers.

Adam let out a startled moan causing Lilith to blink. She knew it meant something was feeling good. She didn't know how she knew that but that particular sound happened when you felt good. So, she pinched Adam's nipples and he squirmed and moaned in her lap.

It was then she realized she was a head taller than Adam.

"I like the noises you make Adam," Lilith said with a smile as she let go. "And you're cheeks are red...does that happen when you feel good?" Arousal. That's what it was. The thought just came to her.

Adam didnt know what she meant but he did feel good so he nodded.

"Don't worry Adam...I'll take care of you. Just follow my lead."

They both didn't see the pair of blue eyes watching them from above the tree they were sitting under.

Oooh! Yeah I've been maybe one other au where Lucifer and Lilith are on the same level of obsession for Adam and that was a few one shots that @libby-for-life wrote!

I think this is the only way I can have Lucifer x Adam x Lilith, is both of them being yandere types for Adam and working together to love him.

#adamsapple #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #lilith #ask #Lucifer x Adam x Lilith #GuitarAppleLily #is that their ship name?

56 notes · View notes

cherrylovelycherry · 8 hours ago

Note

Okay, maybe Ratio x gn!reader tarte aux fraises? i know u love ratio muehehe

.note. omg oke oke, i know what i have to do. ( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ (I always end up writing so many words that I have to erase pieces of the original idea. T_T)

𓂅new order. "tarte aux fraises."

Try hard

pairing. dr ratio x gn!reader cw/genre. angst, academic pressure, ratio being rude, again. synopsis. Like he said, you just need to try hard. And if you can't handle the pressure, what better than to withdraw from medical school? full menu

"No," His eyes on you, by those sharp words, coming together with the other glances of your classmates.

"Uhm, would it be a possible case of appendicitis?" You spoke, something nervous, but your words were almost like a question rather than an affirmation.

"Wrong,"

His voice again, almost as if he were glad of your mistake.

"Are you answering or are you asking me, Y/N?" Ratio spoke, almost with a despicable tone.

You just looked down.

It was almost always the same, for him, all your answers are wrong, he always had to find something wrong with what you said.

"If you're going to answer again as your classmate, refrain from talking and just say you didn't study anything." Ratio said, for all your classmates in the room.

"Honestly, I don't even know why I still continue teaching some of you."

Oh, and you knew perfectly well that he was referring to you.

He says, almost as if your existence were a total nonsense for him.

"All of you are dumb, you all have the same level of intelligence as an Earthworm, maybe a little less than one even." His words come out almost sharp again.

"How can it be possible you can't even answer the simplest question?" Ratio spoke out, almost frustrated by the lack of intelligence on most of his students.

Your cheeks became red, the way Ratio spoke was always so harsh, so harsh and direct, and even more so if it was you who answered a question, he never missed an opportunity to show that you were wrong in front of everyone else.

"Now, that's enough chit-chat, back to the topic." He looked at the board, his expression was somewhat serious, his arms behind his back, as he stood in the middle of the classroom.

"The appendix is a small, worm-like structure that branches off the back of the colon. It's located in the lower right lobe of the abdomen. The main problem with appendicitis is when it becomes infected and then blocks all waste product from leaving the colon." He spoke, standing at the front of the class.

"What does that mean?" he spoke again. This time with a much easier question than he asked you.

"Mhm, you," he pointed to a student.

"…That means all the waste from everything that comes through the digestive system doesn't have anywhere to go, and can back up into all of your abdominal cavity," She said, with some nerves, but keeping her words as firm as she could.

"Correct." He spoke, as he saw her answer, with a much calmer expression this time.

"The appendix becomes inflamed and very sensitive when an infection begins to form in it. You can experience fever chills that go down into your groin like cold water. The most common pain is in the abdomen, specifically in the lower right side. It can be mistaken for a stomach ache, or even menstrual cramps. But with further care, it can be determined as appendicitis." Ratio speaks again, almost a little happier.

"Anyone else?" He asked.

"If there is no intervention, it could explode," this time you dared to speak again, trying to sound firm.

"A precise answer, even from you, for a change," He spoke with a little more than a sarcastic tone, but as usual, he can't seem to say anything without adding an annoyed tone to everything he says.

"That's true. An appendix that is left untreated can burst, or perforate. But not always because of pain close to the appendix area will be necessary to remove or attempt an intervention." He says, as he returns to look at the board.

"If the appendix bursts, the pain might go away, but a much worse process, is going to start. The appendix will begin to break down, and the bacteria and pus from the organ can pass into the abdominal cavity, causing a widespread and severe infection. This is called peritonitis." Ratio spoke, his voice almost firm, and serious again.

You felt somewhat calmer, but still, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious.

Was it necessary that I always talk to you like this?

Because after all, you were his partner.

Ratio kept his eyes on you for a few moments, as if analyzing your expression. He almost always knew when you had those thoughts.

As he finishes speaking, the class bell begins to ring, almost as a sign that the class just ended.

"You are all dismissed." Ratio said, putting his hands behind his back, his eyes looking at the students as they began to leave the room.

You focused on keeping your stuff, without a hurry, because you weren't very excited to eat in medical school. The food wasn't so good or appetizing there.

The room was getting emptier and emptier, except for just the two of you, since you were the last one to leave.

Ratio leaned against the front of the desk, and crossed his arms in front of his chest, he had something in mind to discuss with you.

"Y/N." His voice came out quite firm, and almost demanding.

"Yes?" Your voice almost sounded like a whisper, a whisper of nervousness, still, you answered him.

You could already feel what kind of a talk he was going to have with you now

Ratio seemed quite serious, his eyes almost fixed on you, as if analyzing your every move.

He waited a few seconds before speaking. He still retained his serious expression.

"You're falling behind on a lot of the classes." He spoke, with an almost severe voice.

You just looked down.

He knew that you didn't always answer very intelligently, but it seemed like he just liked using every single opportunity he got to be harsh on you.

His arms were still crossed in front of his chest, keeping his position in front of the desk.

"I know…" your voice came out a little smaller this time.

Ratio sighed, he didn't change his position or expression, on the other hand, yours became somewhat more tense, you already knew that he was far from finished.

"Not only that," he continued to speak, his voice now more demanding.

"You don't usually answer my questions as intelligently as you should. You answer in ways that are almost as unintelligent as the others." he spoke again, his voice slightly higher than before.

"You know you should study more."

Again, a tone that seemed somewhat irritated.

"I am,"

"You're not." Ratio continued, his voice suddenly became very firm.

You can't help but feel even more self-conscious, more tensed than before.

He was right, even if he was, he didn't always have to say it that way.

"I don't even know why you're still in this class, if you've answered right a small percentage of times."

"But i'm trying, Ratio," You spoke, this time directing yourself towards him as your equal, as you did in private.

"Trying," He repeated. "You are just not trying hard enough."

Ratio's hands now moved from his chest, to his sides, still leaning against the table.

That didn't seem to change his expression at all, the same seriousness.

"You need to study more, you need to stop falling behind so much, to be more firm, and at least,"

He stopped, for a few seconds, as if thinking of his next words.

"To answer my questions correctly more times than you already do, stop with this mediocrity."

His tone became almost more severe.

"Honestly, I don't know why you don't take your time to pay more attention." He continued, with that severe, demanding tone.

"You're not in your old secondary education anymore, these are more complex medical concepts to treat complex diseases."

He said again, still keeping his tone and position.

"I'm going to try harder," you said.

"You better."

Ratio's answer was short, but the seriousness with which it was given almost made you even more tensed.

Again, a few seconds of silence, Ratio seemed to be thinking of his next words.

"I'm going to start being more demanding with you…" he spoke, leaning a little more against the desk, his eyes still fixed on you.

"I won't let you pass with the bare minimum in my classes" The feeling you have after you hear those words is the most nervous of all.

Ratio always got that demanding, and hard tone when talking to you about studies.

You know perfectly how serious he was when he said that.

"I won't go easy on you anymore," he says, in a much firmer tone.

"From now on if you don't answer correctly more times than you do now, you won't pass my classes."

Ratio was very strict with his classes, and even more so when it came to you.

"No more mediocre answers, I want you to start actually using that brain that you have." His tone now very demanding.

"You are going to start giving more intelligent answers, and not stupid ones that any other student could give."

A few days have passed since that talk between you and Ratio.

He has become much more demanding, and much stricter with his classes.

His questions were much harder to answer, and he always waited for intelligent answers from you.

He had put you in the spotlight every time you were in class, he had increased the number of questions he asked you, and every time you answered, he seemed to be analyzing your every word.

But of course, you noticed, in your nervousness after saying 'medium-great' answers, how your classmates didn't answers difficult questions like you. Not to mention that there were always two or one student whom he always congratulated for her efforts.

Ratio continued with the same demanding attitude, continuing to set high standards for you.

He kept asking you difficult questions, and even if you answered one correctly, he would go on to another, more complex one.

He didn't miss a single opportunity to point out your failures, and you could always see the satisfaction on his face, whenever you got the answer wrong.

Even now, you can feel his gaze on you, as if he's waiting for you to say something wrong, to see him frown.

The way he seemed to be always focused on you in the class, no matter how hard you answered the questions.

Everyone could tell that even though you were his partner, he didn't spare you from his demands for answers.

You had to constantly use that huge book, and study more and more every day. It was becoming tiresome because you barely had time for anything else, and on the other hand, your classmates seemed to be studying less than you.

The bell for the end of class had just been rung, the majority of the class was already picking their stuff to leave.

But you knew very well that Ratio was still there waiting for you to approach.

And yes, you were going to do that.

With calm steps and somewhat anxious, you approached the large desk near the board.

"Uhm, Veritas?" You said, carefully.

"Can we eat together?" You asked, knowing that after this class he would no longer dictate another one in the day, and you too, had no other class for today.

Ratio was sorting through some papers, putting them in various folders on his desk, with that same serious expression he had the rest of the time.

When he heard your voice, he stopped sorting papers, and looked at you.

His eyes seemed sharper every time you looked into them.

Without taking his eyes off you, he placed the last folder in place, and rested his hands on the table.

He didn't answer immediately, as if he was thinking about your request.

"Is there a reason?"

Ratio's tone was somewhat firm, his eyes still fixed on you, as if questioning why you, out of nowhere, suddenly wanted to eat with him.

"No,"

You didn't really know why, either.

Maybe it was because you didn't want to be left alone. Or maybe because you needed a break, your brain had been filled with so much knowledge, so much information that you felt it was going to explode.

"I just want to be with you," Your voice coming out a little more nervous this time.

Ratio was still looking at you, his eyes, very much analyzing you, as if he was searching for a real reason.

It was always like this with him, he never answered anything immediately.

Still, he didn't take his eyes off you, as if he was analyzing your thoughts, your request, and your every action.

Finally, after a few seconds, he spoke.

"Did you study?" He spoke, with that demanding but firm tone. His gaze was still fixed on you.

Your body slightly tensed up. You knew that if you hadn't, he probably wouldn't eat with you.

Even if he was your boyfriend, he was always like this.

"I did," Your voice came out with a small firmness, you actually spent the night studying.

Ratio kept looking at you carefully, his expression didn't change, he seemed to still be analyzing you, as if searching for lies in your eyes.

"How many hours?" His tone was still demanding, but he always made sure to correct you, to be even firmer with his words.

On the other hand, you were getting nervous. It was true that you spent all night studying, you didn't even have time to sleep, but if you said that, he would probably make you feel guilty for it.

So to not prolong the question, you gave a firm answer.

"Six hours, I swear."

Your voice was still firm, but nervousness was clearly expressed in it.

Ratio didn't change his expression, his eyes were still fixed on you, as if he could tell if you were lying or not.

He kept looking at you, in those few seconds he didn't say anything. Still looking at you, until he broke the silence.

"You haven't slept any?" His tone was much more demanding this time, his brows slightly furrowed, as if telling you that it was a mistake.

You knew perfectly well that it was a mistake, you already regretted it the moment you said it.

A small feeling of guilt took hold of your body, knowing that you were about to be scowled for that.

"No…"

You said, trying to keep your voice somewhat firm, but nervousness was present in it.

Ratio crossed his arms in front of his chest, and his eyes became more severe, almost with annoyance at your answer.

You knew perfectly well that that would happen.

"How are you going to study properly if you don't even sleep?" He questioned, in a demanding tone, as usual.

If you didn't sleep, he would scold you and if you slept, he would scold you too.

At the endings, it happened, as always, you even shed a few tears.

And it seems that that gave him remorse and he ended up agreeing to eat with you.

Your eyes were somewhat swollen, not much, but they were.

He made sure to hold your hand while eating quietly in a cafe near medical school.

You could notice how he was looking at your eyes almost every second, as if seeing the tiredness in them.

He almost looked like he felt guilty for making you cry, but he would deny it.

Ratio knew how demanding he could be, and how it could affect you.

But of course, he didn't apologize, because that would imply admitting that he was wrong.

You could see how he squeezed your hand, carefully while eating, as if making sure that your hand wouldn't slip from his.

It was quite obvious that he felt regret for making you cry. No matter how hard he denied it, his actions and his grip on your hand would always give it away.

The rest of the lunch was a little quiet, both of you only spoke a few words from time to time, not a lot.

He still continued to eat in silence, watching you from time to time.

His grip was firm on your hand, a little tight, but it didn't bother you, it was rather calming for you.

When he finished eating, he got up, and pulled you to get up from your chair.

He still had a firm grip on your hand.

"Let's go." Was the only thing he said, as he started to walk out of the cafeteria with you, your hand still attached to his.

Ratio started walking, with you following behind with your hand in his.

He wasn't walking too fast, or very slow, he was walking at a reasonable pace, but he made sure that you kept up.

He pulled you to stick to his side, and he made sure to look at you every few seconds.

You were walking in almost total silence, no one dared to say anything, and this was a little strange. Normally he was the first to say something.

His tight grip on your hand, his way of looking at you from time to time, made you feel a little nervous, but at the same time calm.

He didn't say anything as he walked, but you dared to say something.

"Where are we going?" You asked quietly, looking up slightly at him as you walked.

He looked at you, and his grip squeezed yours a little. Ratio spoke again.

"To my apartment." He replied, in the same firm tone.

"To your apartment?" You were a bit startled by that answer, because there was no way he was taking you to his apartment.

"Don't be tense." Ratio said, his tone was somewhat firm, but softer than before.

Before you could say anything else, he continued to speak, his words were firm and demanding, almost leaving no room for questioning.

"We're going to there, you're going to take a shower, and then you're going to take a long nap.

"I don't-"

Before you could reply, Ratio quickly cut you off. "I don't care what you're about to say, you need to rest."

He spoke with that firm but authoritative tone.

"You're going to take a damn shower, and you're going to take a damn nap for as long as it takes to get you back in shape."

In a way, that made you smile.

His actions showed you that he still cared about you.

The last few days that had passed, were… very different. You spent them at Ratio's apartment.

Each day ended with him scolding you for studying so much, and falling asleep on his couch on several occasions.

You loved those moments with him, in spite of everything, you were really in love with him.

However, as quickly as those butterflies arrived in your stomach, they disappeared faster than they appeared.

"Incorrect again, Y/N,"

He said, holding his hand to the bridge of his nose.

"U-uh…" you said, feeling watched and judged by all your classmates at that moment.

You were currently in practical classes, you no longer just theorize.

"Less than a minute for the patient to bleed," he commented again, ratio, with total disapproval in his speech.

You stayed there, thinking about what to do, your mind running in circles to decide what to do.

And, without further ado, the girl that Ratio always congratulated, took her tweezers from your hands, starting to suture the patient.

You felt so stupid in that instant, the classmate that Ratio always complimented, always approved of her, even congratulated her, had just taken your tweezers from your hands.

You felt the gaze of your classmates on you. You could see that they were either feeling sorry for you, or judging you.

Ratio was silent, he looked irritated, but he wasn't scolding you.

The classmate who took the tweezers from her hands, finished suturing the patient completely, in what seemed to be a couple of seconds.

Talent always wins the effort.

"You've failed another suture." Ratio spoke, almost annoyed by your failure.

As always, whenever you made a mistake, he was always making sure to point it out, making sure to shame you in front of the rest of the class.

His disappointment was evident on his face, in his tone, his gestures.

"It's ridiculous, you can't even put a few damn stitches on a fake wound. How are you going to be a real doctor if you're always messing up everything?" His words were harsh, very much. His expression and his eyes, sharp, as always.

"You're not taking this seriously, you're making the same mistakes again and again." He continued, in the same irritated tone.

How could someone who studied so much, who spent many hours studying, fail so much? How could you fail so much, even though you spent so much time with the person who always seemed dissatisfied with you?

Your classmates' gaze, Ratio's gaze, your own self-judgment, and your frustration for being a complete failure, was too much. You felt your eyes begin to tear up, you could feel your hands shaking. You felt more and more nervous with every word coming out of his mouth. It wasn't just from the pressure, it was also from the frustration.

How was it possible, that he had so much patience, and complimented your classmate, even celebrated that she could suturate a patient, when you couldn't do the same?

His words, his looks of disappointment, they were starting to take their toll on you.

"You're right, doctor," you said, accepting his words, so that he would at least stop scolding you publicly. Ratio kept looking at you, that annoyed look still on his face.

You looked really small in his eyes. Small and weak, a complete failure. That's how he saw you at that moment.

"At this rate, I'm tempted to say that you're never going to be a good doctor."

You just nodded, not knowing what to answer, or if you should respond to that in the first place. The medical career was not easy, there were always scolding for everyone, but not scolding all classes with him.

You heard him say, 'Well, let's continue…', as he moved on to another kind of exercise.

You let your other classmates get closer to the practice stretcher, staying at the end of the group.

All you just did was play with your fingers and bite your lip, so you didn't cry. Because you couldn't even get out of the practice chirophan, because you'd have low grade. Although well, what a lower grade could he put on you if you already pulled the first exercise.

You looked up in the direction of Ratio, who was correcting a couple of your classmates on something. He was always correcting something, especially you.

Your eyes were beginning to become slightly red.

You really hated the suturations practices, you were never good at putting in a few damn stitches.

You were always clumsy, and your hands always trembled when you took the tweezers, like they were shaking now.

Why weren't you as talented as them? Why couldn't you even do something as simple as suturing?

"You're shaking, are you alright?" A voice came from behind you, you recognized who it was immediately.

It was the classmate who always did sutures perfectly, the one Ratio always complimented. She had a worried expression in her eyes, but you couldn't help but feel complete rejection and repulsion towards her.

Her question made you feel more humiliated.

"I'm fine." You replied, trying to sound firm, when in reality, your voice was on the verge of cracking.

She looked at you, not seeming to buy the answer you gave her.

She could see your hands shaking and you were biting your lip, it didn't seem like you were fine.

"Are you sure? You don't look very-" she tried to speak once more, but you didn't want her to continue.

"I said I'm fine, alright. Stop asking me that." You said, a little harshly, hoping that would make her shut up. Her eyes widened slightly at your response, she was surprised by your response. But, instead of being angry, she continued to look sorry for you.

"I'm just trying to-" she was about to say something again, but you were already fed up with her.

You were fucking jealous of her.

"Well, I don't want you to! Stop acting like you care about me!" You snapped at her, your voice louder than you expected it to be.

The rest of the class had turned their heads at you, including Ratio.

Why the hell did you do that?

The whole room was silent, the only noise present was your agitated breathing.

Ratio walked up to you, his eyes firmly on yours. He looked irritated, no, he looked angry at your reaction.

"To the hallway, now." He said firmly, gesturing for you to walk towards the hall.

You felt the eyes of your classmates on you, as you slowly walked out of the class, with Ratio behind you.

Once you got into the hallway, he closed the door behind him, leaving both of you alone in the hallway.

He looked at you, you could see irritation in his eyes.

He was completely irritated with the attitude you just had.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He said, his voice almost sounded like a whisper, but still firm.

"Why the hell did you lash out at her like that?" He continued, he was waiting for an answer, an explanation for your behavior, and he wouldn't accept any bullshit excuse.

You stood there, not knowing what to say, and avoiding looking directly at him.

You didn't know how to explain your attitude, you yourself didn't even understand why you had done that.

Maybe it was because you were irritated, annoyed by her, or just because Ratio paid more attention to her or others than to you, no matter how much you studied.

And you couldn't understand why that girl was always so perfect either. The perfect student, the one who always did the exercises and sutures perfectly.

You were increasingly sure that talent far outperforms effort.

As you stood there, avoiding looking at him, Ratio was growing more and more impatient as the minutes passed. He expected some explanation, an answer to his question. But all he got was silence and you avoiding his gaze.

"Are you going to answer or just stay there, biting your lip?" He spoke again, this time with a firmer tone.

Again, you stayed there, still and saying nothing.

"Okay, then," he said, entering the practice chirophan and closing the door behind him.

You stood there, outside the practice chirophan, alone, on your own, with only your thoughts swirling around your head. You could still hear your classmates continuing practicing suturing in the chirophan, while you were left outside.

Your mind was a mess, going from one thought to another, from one feeling to another; anger, frustration, confusion, disappointment.

And jealousy. A lot of jealousy.

You could hear Ratio's voice, scolding other students. And again, you heard him compliment the girl who always does sutures perfectly.

She was talented, she was perfect, the best student in his eyes. He seemed to adore her, much more than he praised you.

It was not possible to know with that man, he was a mystery.

You walked over and sat down on one of the seats in the hallway, your body completely tired. Both physically and mentally.

Poor girl, you were jealous of her, when not even she did it on purpose to be better than you.

The lesson was finally over.

You were sitting in the hallway, waiting for the whole class to leave, so you could enter and say something to Ratio.

But, to your annoyance, the girl who always did the perfect sutures, was one of the last to leave.

She was going to talk to Ratio, it was obvious.

So, you stayed in the hallway, watching as Ratio and that girl talked for a long time.

She looked happy, with a smile on her face. Ratio seemed in a good mood, he was listening to her speaking calmly. In fact, he was smiling, he was never usually that warm.

That image, that situation, it only irritated your mind more.

But you wouldn't do anything, because there was nothing to do.

Besides that in medical school, he was your teacher, not your boyfriend. So professionalism on his part was always ahead.

As the last student left, Ratio opened the practice chirophan and found you sitting on one of the seats in the hallway.

He looked at you, and for the first time, he had a slight hint of disappointment on his face.

He just looked at you for a few seconds, almost as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't.

He just let out a slight, silent, almost inaudible sigh.

"Come here." He said, gesturing to you to walk towards him.

You stood up, from the seat. You were about to walk towards him but, you suddenly felt nervous, your heart beating a little faster.

What if he wants to discuss that you're always getting low notes on the practical work?

Or maybe he wants to tell you that your effort is useless, because you'll never be as good as the other students.

Or even, he wants to kick you out of class for your recent behavior.

However, his words surprised you.

"I'm going to help you study," he said.

You really expected another scolding from him, but his words were soft.

Perhaps the excellent work of the best student in your class had change his mood.

"But I don't-"

Before you could respond, he cut you off, almost knowing what you were going to answer.

"I wasn't asking you, I was telling you." He said firmly.

He wasn't leaving room for questioning, if he was going to help you study, there was no use in trying to decline his offer.

In spite of everything, you couldn't help but get excited.

The thought of having his attention, and having an extra private class with him. You were really going to like it, you wanted to be alone with him.

In a way, it was a great opportunity to show him what you were capable of doing, and that you too had potential.

He gave you a small smile, as he saw the reaction on your face. And then he added, "We're starting today."

…

You liked being next to him, you feel like at school, almost like a teenage romance.

You were writing carefully what he explained to you, while he had an arm on your shoulders.

It moved you and made you nervous, even though your relationship was almost two years now.

He explained, corrected and commented, as usual. You nodded, listened and wrote what he said.

Everything was going well, until he suddenly paused, and he let out a sigh.

"There's something important I need to tell you." He said, suddenly, in a serious tone.

Your hands suddenly froze halfway between the page and writing. His words, his tone, his gaze. It made you feel nervous, your heartbeat increasing.

"What is it?"

Your voice came out in a somewhat nervous tone.

For a few seconds, he was serious, he didn't say anything, he just looked at you.

His eyes looking into yours, in a somewhat serious and intimidating way, before his expression suddenly change to one of slight annoyance.

"What the hell was that, what you did the other day?"

Ratio asked, suddenly changing the subject of the conversation.

You tensed up a bit, and bit your lip.

You knew immediately that he was referring to the little tantrum you threw, that day.

"I was…" you were at a loss for words, you didn't know what to say.

"I was just frustrated." You finally managed to say, your voice a bit low.

"Frustrated, right."

Ratio responded, in a slightly mocking tone.

"So you were frustrated, and you decided to take it out on a classmate, in front of the entire class?" Ratio looked at you, with that same serious and slightly annoyed expression.

Your heart was beating fast, you felt slightly guilty, knowing you acted inappropriately.

"I know it wasn't the best way to react, but…" you tried to explain yourself.

"No buts." He cut you off. "You embarrassed yourself, and you embarrassed me with your poor and childish behavior. As your teacher, I shouldn't have to deal with your tantrums.

His words stung a little, you felt ashamed.

But there was something else, behind his words. The mention of 'As your teacher'.

"I know, I'm sorry." You mumbled, looking down to the floor.

"I expect you to act like an adult. So I hope you'll apologize to your classmate." He said.

"I will."

You said, still avoiding his gaze, you didn't want to see his eyes, to see his expression.

That day wasn't the only one he helped you study on.

But as always, for him, everything was wrong in answers or in your diagnoses.

As you wrote down one of the last points of the list he had given you, he spoke up, looking at what you had written.

"That is incorrect," he said as he looked at one of the points.

You looked up at him, your eyes wide at his words. How could it have been wrong? The doubt began to consume your mind, and you felt frustrated that you weren't able to do everything perfectly.

Your frustration was beginning to grow, you had just spent hours studying and here he was telling you that you had all the things wrong.

You tried to protest, you tried to explain your answers, but he shut you down every time. His voice became sharper and firmer every time, he was losing patience with you and your constant mistakes.

Finally, he slammed the book on the table, the loud noise echoing through the empty room.

"That's it, enough. You're not getting anything right," he said, his voice stern.

You felt a pang in your chest from hearing his words. How was it possible that not a single thing you wrote was correct? Why couldn't you understand the concepts? Why were you always making mistakes?

Your hands began to tremble as you clutched the pen in your hand, your heart beating fast

You wanted to scream out in frustration and ask him why you weren't getting the answers right, but you knew he wouldn't be patient with you anymore.

"You should try harder, I'm going to do an exam on these topics for you all," he said.

And yes, you had to study alone, as you normally did.

But you didn't really understand why you didn't get any answers right.

Literally that's what books said, your answers were even the same.

So, what was happening to you?

That test was going to be in a week, and you were extremely stressed about it.

You had to prepare for the exam given by Ratio, but it wasn't easy. Despite reading the material multiple times, something wasn't clicking in your head.

The formulas, the methods, the diagnoses, nothing stayed in your head. And when you attempted to answer the questions, you found yourself making mistake after mistake.

After studying a few nights on your own, it was time to take the exam.

The day of the exam had arrived.

The atmosphere in the classroom was tense, everyone seemed nervous. You were shaking, your hands trembling as you clutched the pen. Everyone around you seemed to understand the material, but you were struggling.

Ratio started handing out the test sheets to each one of you, until he reached your desk.

He placed the paper in front of you, and your breathing hitched.

You dared to hold your gaze on his, for at least a while, looking for some security that he could give you.

But there was no security in his gaze.

He didn't give you any special look, no secret glance or anything that could make you feel more confident.

His expression seemed serious, almost like a challenge. It was clear that he expected nothing from you, to his eyes you weren't going to do the test well.

He knew it, and you knew it.

And as he finished handing them out, he spoke.

"You have an hour to finish. Start now." He announced, before going back to his desk.

You looked down at the questions, and your heart sank.

They were difficult, they were complex, and they were things you had never seen before.

You felt your hands begin to sweat, and your mind went blank. You tried to recall the information you had studied, but it was like trying to remember a forgotten dream.

The other students around you seemed to have no trouble with the test, they were already beginning to answer the questions.

But you, on the other hand, were stuck on the first question. The words and numbers on the page became a blur, your mind in complete mess.

As minutes passed, you found yourself still struggling with the first question. Meanwhile, other classmates were already on the second or third.

The pressure was immense. You tried to focus, you tried to concentrate. But your mind was racing, your heart was pounding in your chest.

You could hear the sound of the other students' pens on the papers, the ticking of the clock on the wall, the silence of the classroom.

Every sound seemed to echo in your head and only added to your anxiety.

Time was ticking by quickly, and you could feel your anxiety growing with each passing minute.

You had already spent 45 minutes on one question, and you hadn't even reached the halfway point.

Until you saw some of your classmates raise their hand so that Ratio could approach them and answer their doubts about some questions.

They were getting help, while you just sat there, panicking.

You wanted to raise your hand, to ask for help, just like the other students.

But you didn't do it, you didn't dare to. You felt too ashamed and embarrassed to admit that you were having so much trouble with the test.

You just continued staring at the exam, trying to decipher the questions.

And, with only 4 questions out of 20, you dared to raise your hand as well, so that he can get closer as well.

You looked up a little bit on your exam, watching it approach students back and forth.

Your still hand raised, you even moved it a little bit, to see it.

And so he did, he saw you for a few seconds, before approaching another of your classmates.

Your heart sank again.

You couldn't believe what had just happened.

He knew you were struggling, he saw you with your hand raised. But despite that he avoided you and went to answer someone else's doubts.

You felt a pang of pain in your chest, like a stinging realization.

Ratio didn't want to help you, he was ignoring you.

You weren't like the good students, the ones he always said were talented. You were just the one who couldn't understand anything, no matter how hard you tried.

You lowered your hand again, feeling humiliated.

With your cheeks somewhat red from shame, you lowered your gaze towards your exam, almost empty.

You tried to do it, you really tried.

Without realizing it, your eyesight was blurred, as you continued to try to write down what you found most coherent.

You were crying in the middle of the exam. But what a shame.

Well, at least you didn't sob, you just let the tears slip out of your eyes, because because your head was somewhat tilted down, it was more accessible for the tears to come out.

The time passed, and the other students handed in the exam sheets, one by one. And you were still on your seat, trying to come up with at least a minimum of sense.

The tension in the room grew with each passing minute.

You could feel the weight of everyone's gaze, even if no one was looking at you directly. It was like everyone was silently waiting for you to finish, to see if you could do it or not.

But the answer to that was becoming more and more evident with every passing minute.

And yet, you still tried, you tried so hard to write something.

You felt a knot forming in your throat as you tried to hold back your tears, but it was difficult.

Ratio's words echoed in your head again, "You should try a little harder."

How much harder did he wanted you to try? You were already struggling to keep up, and now you were literally crying.

With all your effort, you managed to answer some more questions. But still, the test paper looked almost blank.

Many of your answers were incorrect, even if you had tried your best.

When the time finally ran out, Ratio spoke up.

"Time's up," he said in his usual strict tone, standing up from his desk. "Those of you who haven't handed in your sheets, do so now."

You felt a wave of dread wash over you. You were one of the few who still had the papers on their desk.

Slowly, you raised your head to see that almost everyone else had already handed their papers to him.

With shaking hands, you gathered the papers on your desk and got up.

Your legs felt weak, but you somehow managed to make your way to the desk.

Ratio was there, waiting for your paper. He looked slightly indifferent, as if he was expecting this outcome.

You handed him the sheets with trembling hands, feeling a sense of shame and embarrassment. The weight of your poor performance was heavy on you, and you avoided meeting his gaze.

He took the papers without a word, and as he did, your eyes darted down to the answers on the paper.

You could see his expression of disappointment.

…

And it was worse than what you imagined.

Red marks and crosses were all over the page, almost each answer was incorrect.

After a week, he returned the exams to everyone in the classroom.

You didn't know how to hide your grade from the students sitting near you.

There was a big 0 on the exam cover.

A 0, no points at all. You had failed the test completely, and the evidence was there, for everyone to see.

The shame and humiliation hit you like a wave. Everyone was looking at their grades, comparing them and discussing among themselves. You wanted to sink into the floor and disappear.

Ratio spoke up again, drawing everyone's attention. "As you can see, the results of the exam were… Disappointing."

He said, his eyes skimming over the class.

His eyes landed on some students, commenting on their good grades.

"But, there were some good grades. Congratulations to those who did well." He spoke, in a matter-of-fact tone.

You knew you'd never be like them.

When he finished the class, it was relatively short, as most of the time it was used to solve the exam together.

You rushed to grab your stuff by keeping your exam in your bag, before you left the big classroom, feeling nauseous.

The rest of the day passed by, but the shame and humiliation from the exam still lingered. You couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment, and the thought that you were the worst in the class.

You tried to avoid your classmates' gazes, fearing they would whisper or make fun of you.

The hours went by slowly, until the day had ended. You found yourself walking back home, feeling down, with your head hung low.

And then, you suddenly heard a voice calling out to you. "Y/N," the familiar voice said, and you froze.

You knew who it was.

Slowly, you turned around to see Ratio standing there, a few metres away from you. His expression was serious, his eyes fixed on you. Your heart started racing again, and you nervously clutched your bag strap tighter. What did he want?

He walked closer to you, his footsteps echoing in the empty hallway.

He stopped a few steps away from you, looking down at you.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" He asked, his voice firm. You swallowed hard, nodding silently.

You were too afraid to speak, your throat was dry, as if you had never swallowed saliva again.

He motioned for you to follow him, as he walked towards a quieter part of the hallway, where there were less classroms.

Finally, he stopped in a quieter spot, turning to look at you.

He looked directly into your eyes for a moment, his gaze intense.

There was a moment of silence before he spoke, his voice softer than usual.

"I suppose you know why I wanted to talk to you," he began, tilting his head slightly.

You nodded again, knowing what he wanted to talk about. The failed exam.

"Yes…" you whispered, your voice barely heard.

He let out a small sigh.

"Your performance on the exam… It was quite unsatisfactory."

His words were straightforward, he didn't hide his disappointment.

Your heart sank even further.

He was saying what you already knew, what he already wrote on the paper of red marks and crosses.

"I didn't expect much, to be completely honest. But I didn't expect such…bad results." He added, raising an eyebrow.

His words hurt, but you didn't say anything, you just stood there, looking down.

"I just don't understand," he continued, "I made sure to explain the concepts thoroughly. Why did you fail so badly?"

His tone was serious, he really wanted an answer from you.

"I really don't know," you mumble. Ratio let out a small huff, clearly not satisfied with your answer.

He looked at you for a moment, his eyes studying you.

"You know, I've been teaching for years. I've seen many students who struggle, but not to this extent. You weren't able to answer any question correctly."

"I wanted help, Ratio," you said, again, muttering.

And yes, you tried to raise your hand so that he could also approach you that time, but he just looked at you and didn't come close.

You looked up weakly toward his eyes, holding his gaze a few seconds.

"I tried to ask for help from you, I raised my hand, but you ignored me," you confessed, your voice almost breaking.

He was silent for a moment, his expression slightly changing.

He seemed a little surprised that you had mentioned that.

He was about to open his mouth to speak, but then your voice spoke up again.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" You said, with a hurt voice, and your eyes started to feel moist.

His expression softened slightly. He wasn't expecting that question.

He saw the tears forming in your eyes, and his stern expression wavered for a second.

"No, I don't think you're stupid." He finally said, his voice slightly lower.

He paused for a moment before speaking again.

"But I can't deny that I'm...disappointed. I had hoped for more progress."

Your lower lip trembled slightly as you heard his words.

Disappointed. Of course, he was. Because you were the worst in the class, the one who couldn't understand anything no matter how hard you tried.

The one who would never be able to answer a question correctly.

"…I know…" you whispered.

You couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and they started rolling down your cheeks.

"But i'm trying my best. I swear I am," you said, your voice shaking.

Ratio didn't say anything for a moment. He just looked at you, almost as if he was contemplating your words, your expression and your tears.

He watched as you cried softly, the tears running silently down your face.

He seemed to think for a moment, before he spoke again, his voice softer than before.

"I know you're trying," he admitted, and his tone wasn't as harsh as usual.

He let out a small sigh.

"But 'trying' isn't enough. You're always lagging behind. You never catch up. You need to do something different."

Your heart felt heavy, and your shoulders slumped slightly.

He was right, your 'trying' wasn't enough. It never was.

You heard him sigh, before you didn't realize it, his hands were on your cheeks, rubbing his thumbs on these to clean the tears.

"I want you to succeed,"

His touch was gentle, his thumb wiping away your tears softly.

You looked up at him, his expression was serious but not cold as usual.

"But you have to work harder for that." He spoke, his hands still on your wet cheeks. "You're smart, but clearly something is missing."

As his hands continued on your cheeks, you froze, feeling the unexpected touch.

He was wiping your tears, a gesture of… comfort?

At this point, you already believed his words.

'You're not giving everything about yourself'

'Study more'

'Try harder'

Everything that came out of your mind and mouth was wrong for him.

You sat on the small bench on the rooftop of medical school. That place had been your peacetime.

You found yourself again, frustrated, as you had the book open on your lap, with tears about to escape your eyelids.

That until someone else's footsteps resounded on the ground.

Which made you immediately turn your head.

"I knew I'd find you here," the familiar voice said. You turned to see Ratio, walking over to the bench and sitting next to you.

"The same place, for the third time this week," he added, his expression a mixture of concern and something else.

You wiped the tears from your eyes quickly, not wanting him to see you like this. But it was too late, he had already noticed.

He glanced at the open book on your lap, a small frown on his face.

"Still struggling?" He asked, his voice soft yet firm.

You just nodded.

You saw him sigh, before he took out a kind of sweet bread packaged.

"Here, eat this," he said, as he gave you what he had in his hand.

He knew you liked those sweet breads.

With resignation, you took the bread, and you took off the wrapper, starting to eat it, while you felt like you were going to cry again.

Ratio watched you eat silently, his eyes fixed on you.

He saw the tears still gleaming in your eyes, but you were trying to hold them back.

He let out a sigh, his expression seemed to be contemplating something.

Without saying anything, he moved closer to you, getting nearer.

He was so close, you could count the number of eyelashes he had.

He leaned towards you, and his hand raised to touch your cheek and so he did, stroking your face for a moment, before he laid a kiss on your temple.

The unexpected kiss on your forehead made your body tense up for a moment, surprise filling you.

The action was uncharacteristic as he was acting in a way he never did in the past.

You slowly turn your head to look at him, your eyes meeting his. His expression held a hint of affection.

He was still so close to you. So close that he could easily touch you again.

The simple contact of his, made the accumulated tears of before, fall down your cheeks.

You stuck your body to him, even chewing sweet bread. You had a frown, like you used to have now.

As you put your phone next to you, after dialing your boyfriend's number.

You keep looking at the practice sheet, gently banging the pen against the table.

It took him a few seconds for him to answer your call.

"What's wrong?" Ratio asked once he answered the phone.

You took a deep breath before speaking, trying to sound a little calm, but failing miserably.

"I'm stuck again," you confessed, frustration evident in your voice.

"You'll need to do this by yourself, this time." He said, and his voice was firm.

You felt another stab in the chest.

"But I-"

"No buts. You need to learn how to figure things out on your own. You can't always depend on me."

Another stab. Like a dagger.

Yes, the same thing happened again.

You were somewhat desperate, as your last exams went wrong and you only approved a few with the minimum note. And basically you needed 140 percent of 100 percent to pass.

The only thing that could save you would be the practical part, but you didn't even manage to master that.

You knew he was right, but that didn't make you feel any better.

You looked up at him with a sad expression, but all he did was look at you with his usual frown.

"You're not a kid anymore. You need to start taking responsibility for your own learning," he said.

You knew he was right, you knew you couldn't always rely on him. But it was hard to accept.

Especially when he was always so dedicated and patient with others.

"Being your boyfriend doesn't mean you have more priority or advantages,"

You felt your throat tighten, you had a lump in your throat.

But he continued speaking.

"I'm your teacher, first of all. And I should be as impartial as possible."

You knew that, you truly knew that.

How you wished that he would treat you differently from others just because, you didn't want any privileges, or anything like that.

You just wanted his attention, his help, his care. But all you got were cold remarks, like a teacher talking to a stupid student.

Oh, but you would remember her words whenever you were tempted to ask her for help.

And again, you believed his words.

He was right, it wouldn't be fair for others to teach you the most.

So, you had to put everything in about yourself, no, more than you could give, so you could study for your exams.

Especially because they weren't just any exam, they were almost a preview of the endings, and if you didn't pass all of them, you wouldn't have any hope of being able to pass the courses.

Because you need more note than you can normally get, that is, something impossible.

In total there were 6 courses, that of Ratio and that of other teachers. That in their classes you didn't do so badly, but you weren't the best either. you approved with scores between minimums to media.

You looked down, your fingers tightening on the edge of the desk.

"I know," you mumbled, feeling a lump in your throat.

He was silent for a moment, before he spoke again, his voice a little softer this time.

"I'm tough on you because I know you can do it," he said.

Your eyesight focused on the chemistry test, it was the first exam of the week, so you were, or at least you felt, that you were ready.

When you left the exam, begging you to do well, you had to eat a granola bar, while you were walking down the hallways, looking for your other classroom.

You couldn't see Ratio before you took the first exam, because you were going to be a little late.

Once you sat at the desk, with the pharmacology test in your hands, you started putting on paper the things you remembered, so you didn't forget.

It was two long hours, which you managed to finish and leave the classroom, completely tired.

But when you get home, you couldn't sleep, because you had to prepare for your other exams.

As you sat in front of your desk, it was already almost 10 pm.

And you were still studying.

Your eyes tired because of the many books you had looked through, and your arms aching slightly because of writing so much.

You were tired, but you couldn't afford to take a rest. You had to study for the other exams. You let out a sigh, rubbing your eyes.

How long had you been studying now? An hour or two? You weren't even sure.

In the last few hours, you were studying for your other exams, including Public Health, Medicine 3, Clinical psychiatry, Laboratory diagnosis and the course in which Ratio will be present, Surgery 1.

Of some of those exams, most of them were written, the two of practice would be the same day.

You didn't dare send a single message to Ratio.

Or well, it's not that you didn't want to, you were too tired at this point.

You barely got out of the exam where you had to be in the lab, your eyelids every time threatened to close.

Now you had the exam.

You were scared, you even sweated from your nerves.

When you arrived at the respective practice chirophan, where all your colleagues would be taking the exam, your eyesight discouraged you.

They all looked somewhat tense, as they walked back and forth, muttering to themselves, what you assumed was what they learned in class.

You waited outside, along with them, before Ratio made them pass them all, to start the exam.

This consisted even the right only disinfected was also qualified, which made you tense. Although the cold water when washing your hands and arms helped you wake up a little.

Your breathing intensified.

Ratio stood in the middle of the room, and you tried to focus your vision properly.

He looked in your direction, for a second, his eyes on you.

Maybe he'd noticed how tired you were, but he remained silent. He just looked at you for a second, before looking back at everyone else.

And he began to speak.

"You all know how this works," he began, his voice firm and authoritative. "Each of you will take turns performing on a dummy patient."

You let out a shuddering sigh, trying to calm your nerves.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, as you watched your classmates take turns performing the practical exams.

Every time someone finished, Ratio inspected their work and gave them feedback.

You could see the serious expression on his face, his eyes never leaving the students as they performed.

Finally, it was your turn. You approached the dummy patient, your hands slightly trembling.

Ratio stood a few feet away, watching you.

When you started the exam, you tried to be as perfect as possible.

You tried to calm down, which was a bit difficult. Your hands was shaking.

'Try to breathe slowly, it will help you.'

That was what Ratio told you, and he was always right.

You tried to repeat in your head the steps you had to take to complete the exam.

You took a few deep breaths, in and out.

And finally, you began.

You feel much more pressure when you felt your classmates behind, that you were taking turns with when you performed a simple little surgery.

You started with shaky hands, to make cuts in the internal tissues of the skin, little by little. Being totally attentive to the sound of the cardiac monitor, listening to the pulsations and occasionally seeing the pressure level in the 'patient'.

You could even feel the sweat on the palms of your hands inside the latex gloves. It's good that you always had to put on 2 or 3 for these practices, because otherwise, you would have contaminated everything with your sweat.

You continued the process, trying to block out the thoughts that were flying through your mind.

'You need a good score.'

'You can't fail.'

'This is your last exam.'

'If you do this well, you can finally talk to him without worrying.'

Trying to ignore the pressure, you continued to take each step carefully.

The instructions for your colleagues you should take turns with were clear, anyone who distracts or talks to the person who is performing the practice with the 'patient' will immediately cancel the exam.

And that's why, because of the more impotence or frustration of your peers when they see your patient's heart level when they enter a state of shock because they had touched a vital organ, it was something that went unnoticed by you. Because you had fallen asleep.

What suddenly woke you up was the same alert from the monitors, who let out a loud noise.

Shit.

By the time you saw the monitor, the pressure was in the skies, not to mention that now the pulsations were going down drastically.

Without realizing it, as you had been sleeping in your place, you pricked the 'patient' stomach with the scalpel.

Fuck.

Your eyes widened in shock.

You were still a bit dizzy from sleep, and your reflexes were very slow.

And from behind, you could hear more murmurs, some of your classmates, while others let out a hiss or a swear word. And you could feel the pressure in your chest at what had just happened.

You tried to make a suture, but by that time it was too late.

You had damaged a vital organ, which you shouldn't even do.

In fear, you turned to the monitor, that now the rhythm was a single beep, indicating that the 'patient' had died.

You stayed there, feeling pressured by the looks of your classmates behind you, now they had not been able to take their exam.

And the gaze of Ratio, who was standing in front of you, which only made things worse.

He stood in the same position, his eyes staring at you. And you could only think of what he must have been thinking at that moment.

You tried to remain calm, but you knew that was impossible, your breathing was shaky, and you even felt your legs trembling.

You couldn't stand the stares, you could feel the gazes of your colleagues on your back. Judging and analyzing everything you had done.

"You failed this exam roundly." was the only thing he said, before guiding your peers to another side in the chirophan so they can take their exam, with a heart rate 'patient'.

You felt a pang of panic, your hands still trembling from the previous episode.

'You failed this exam roundly.' those words still echoed in your mind.

You knew it was the truth, there was no way you could deny it. You messed up big time.

'Everyone is going to hate me now. They're all going to think I'm stupid. I'm not fit to be a doctor. I'm not fit to be anything.'

These were the thoughts that raced through your mind.

You had been unveiling yourself so that you could study well for your other exams, that this was the only thing you didn't have in mind that could happen.

Your eyes looked to the floor, you were ashamed, you were embarrassed by your own performance. You had failed at something so simple.

Something you'd studied for hours. You even feel somewhat prepared to be able to do it.

Ratio stayed where he was, watching as your classmates took their turn with 'the patient'.

But he couldn't quite take his eyes off you, he could see you were shaking, and he was sure you would start crying at any moment. But you wouldn't do that in this place, not with the presence of everyone else.

He was heading for a moment where you were.

Without paying much attention to the others, he approached you, his footsteps almost silent, and stopped right in front of you.

He looked down at you, his gaze serious.

He knew exactly what your thoughts were at the moment, he knew that all the blame you would assume would be on yourself.

After all, it was all due to your negligence, you had fallen asleep, and that had been the reason why your practice turned out to be, to say the least, a disaster.

'You tried'

'You can do better another time'

'Don't worry'

You expected that, you really expected it.

"You need to retire from the chirophan, you've finished your exam." That's what you heard from him.

Your heart squeezed.

You really thought he was going to at least say a few words of encouragement, not just that.

And the tone in which he said it just made it worse. It was clear that he was disappointed.

You could feel the lump in your throat growing, you felt that you were going to burst into tears at any moment.

Ratio was about to speak, but instead, he held his tongue.

He knew the effect his words had had on you. He knew you weren't well. But he didn't say anything, he just stood there, seeing you.

His gaze was on you, you could feel that he was analyzing you, from your eyes to your hands.

You looked like a kicked puppy.

Your shoulders were hunched, your head was down, and your hands were shaking at your sides.

With what little dignity you had left, you looked up at Ratio.

Your heart was beating so hard you thought it would burst out of your chest.

Your eyes were glassy, your eyelashes wet with tears.

You moved from your place, going to the disinfection area, while you were removing your gloves, mask and other protection stuff.

Your hands never stopped shaking while you did that.

You came out of the chirophan of practices, with fear running through your body.

Your hands on your face as you tried to hide the fact that you were about to start crying.

You were walking so fast that you bumped into a few people, some who told you to slow down, but you ignored them.

Finally, you reached the bathroom, where you locked yourself in one of the cubicles, and let the tears fall down your face.

You felt pathetic. You felt like an idiot for thinking you could do it, and even more so, for falling asleep.

How could you possibly have screwed up so big? You had studied for hours, for days, for weeks.

You worked as hard as you could to try to get a passing grade.

You had given your all, only for it to end in a complete failure.

"You're not good for this." you told yourself, your voice choked with tears.

…

You waited for your boyfriend to leave his office, grabbing the strip of your bag with both your hands.

Your gaze was on the floor, seeing your shoes as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. Your red eyes, you didn't want people to see much.

The students walked around you, chatting and laughing, unaware of the turmoil you were going through. You just wanted to go back to your apartment and cry in peace.

But at least you wanted some comfort on Ratio's side, even though you knew you didn't deserve it.

You heard the sound of a door behind you opening, and you glanced up to see Ratio walking out of his office.

He didn't notice you at first, but then he turned and his gaze fell on you.

You heard him sigh heavily, before he spoke "Let's go." It wasn't a question, it was a direct order.

You didn't dare say anything, just nodded silently and walked with him.

The whole way to the exit was silent, you walked behind him, seeing his back.

The silence was heavy, you didn't dare to say anything, and he didn't say anything either.

When you arrived at his apartment he let you pass first.

As you saw him leave his things in place and turn on some lights, your mind was distracted.

Until as he started heating water in the boiler, he spoke.

"It was the worst exam I could see in my life," his voice was full of disappointment.

Your heart pounded in your chest, those words only made you feel worse.

You wanted to say something, some kind of excuse, some reason to justify what you had done.

But all that came out of your mouth was a half-broken murmur "I'm sorry"

Ratio stared at you for a moment, his gaze was cold, you felt like crying again.

"You're sorry?" He asked, almost bitterly.

"You'll tell that to your patients' relatives when you kill them by mistake?"

Your eyes widened, and you could feel your lip starting to tremble.

That was a low blow.

"I-" you tried to speak, but your voice was so shaky and broken that you could barely form words.

But he interrupted you.

"You weren't focused. You were not prepared. You were sloppy and careless" He said, without even looking at you.

His words were like a stab in the heart.

And he wasn't done yet.

"You didn't put any effort into it,"

"Yes I did," you muttered, grabbing your fingers, anxiously in your body.

Ratio turned to you, his gaze was stern and almost irritated. He had never looked at you like that before.

"You fell asleep in the middle of the practice," he said, and the disappointment in his voice was palpable.

"How the hell would you call that putting in effort?"

Your mind was racing, trying to find an answer, something to say. But the words didn't come out, the lump in your throat was too big.

"I did" you tried to say again, weakly.

"No, you didn't" he said bluntly.

"If you had, you wouldn't have made such a stupid mistake"

You couldn't help it again, the salty tears wet your cheeks.

"Yes I did, Veritas," you said, raising your voice a little while you were looking at him.

"You didn't make the slightest effort in that practice, otherwise, you wouldn't have failed so miserably"

Those words stung again, you felt that he was attacking you.

"Yes I did!" You shouted, tears streaming down your face.

"I worked my ass out for that exam. I didn't take anything for granted! I really wanted to pass!"

"I want your comfort," you sobbed.

You wanted him to tell you that you had tried, that you did put everything out of you, that it was just unfortunate situations, that you could try again later.

You wanted that, not this.

Ratio's expression softened a little at your words, and for a moment he almost looked guilty.

He was quiet a few seconds, looking at your tear-soaked face.

"Do you think hard work is enough?" He asked. "Do you think that by just studying you will pass everything?"

"That if you want something, you'll get it just by wanting it?"

You just looked at him.

"That's not how it works," he said firmly.

"You have to be more than that".

You wanted his comfort, you longed for it a lot at times like this, not to be ranted out at how bad you did it.

"You don't deserve to be consoled if you did something out of pure negligence,"

Your heart sank at his words, like he was speaking to a child.

You felt like a scolded dog.

More tears fell on your face.

"I didn't mean to make that mistake," you said, wiping your face with your sleeve. "I really tried"

Ratio approached you, his steps slow and deliberate.

"Trying is not enough" he said bluntly.

He was in front of you now, towering over you, you didn't dare to look at him in the eyes.

"In this profession, just trying is not enough"

"You're not made to be a doctor if you think that," Your breathing hitched.

Those words hurt, you wanted to shout at him, tell him he's not right, that he's wrong.

But you knew he wasn't.

Every word he was saying was true.

All this effort, all these hours you've worked, and all these sleepless nights, to fail like that, because of a stupid simple mistake.

You really were not fit to be a doctor.

Your head was lowered, and the tears still ran down.

You tried to hold them back, but failed.

"I'm tired, Veritas,"

You just wanted him to stop.

You were tired, tired of studying, tired of not getting it right.

Ratio seemed to not soften at your words, his face still showed disappointment.

"You have to try harder, you have to put aside your tiredness," he said firmly. "If you don't, you will fail again"

"If you really want this, you have to do better"

You just wanted it all to stop.

"It's not fair," you began, your voice choked by the crying that didn't stop.

"The only thing you know how to do is tell me bad things about what I do," you sobbed.

"You're supposed to be my boyfriend, not someone who criticizes me,"

You felt frustrated, the words escaping your mouth without a care.

You wanted him to comfort you, to tell you that everything was going to be okay and that you would be a perfect doctor.

But he didn't say anything. He just looked at you, his expression unchanged.

"My job isn't to soothe your ego," he said firmly.

"My job, as a boyfriend, is to help you see the faults in yourself and strive to improve"

"And it seems that you don't like that very much," he added. His voice was almost cold.

You raised your head, looking at him with wet eyes.

"You're supposed to support me" you said weakly, almost a plea.

Ratio's face didn't change, his eyes fixed on you.

"I do support you," he said.

"But I won't lie to you or sugarcoat things for you," he added.

"I don't even have ego or something that you have to soften."

Those words were like a stab to the heart.

"I'm sick of you telling me that everything I do is complete shit,"

You were shaking with frustration, tears and snot streamed down your face. You felt so angry and so desperate that you didn't know what to say.

"I'm just trying to be honest with you and make you face reality," Ratio said.

"You need to be able to handle criticism if you want to be a doctor"

You just wanted him to stop, to shut up and say something like 'you're good' or 'don't cry it's okay'.

But he didn't, he just stood there, telling you the things you didn't want to hear.

You felt like you couldn't hold back anymore, all these days, weeks, months of not saying anything was starting to weigh on you.

"You never say anything good about me," you said in a shaky voice.

"You never have a nice word for what I do"

Ratio raised an eyebrow at your words, unamused by your outburst.

"You don't deserve my compliments"

That stung.

"Especially when you fail so miserably," he added.

Your body shuddered, those words made you feel so bad.

"All other boyfriends say nice things to their partners" you murmured.

"They give their support, even when they make a mistake"

Ratio almost laughed at your words.

"Oh, so you want me to be one of those 'other boyfriends' now?" he said with a hint of irony.

"You want me to pat you on the back and say you did a good job, even when you did a bad one?"

"Do you really think that's going to help?"

His tone was almost mocking, and it made you even more upset.

You wanted to shout at him, tell him that you just wanted him to say something nice and comfort you. But the words wouldn't come out.

"I…"

You tried to speak, but the only thing that came out was a choked noise.

Ratio sighed heavily, the annoyance clear in his expression.

"I can't believe you're acting like a child because you can't handle a bit of criticism"

"Do you really think that's how a doctor should behave?"

"The answers I say are the same as those of my classmates and you still tell me they're wrong," you said.

"It's not fair. I'm fed up,"

Ratio crossed his arms, looking down at you.

"Life isn't fair," he said, as if explaining something obvious to a child.

"And a doctor's job is not to care about being fair"

He looked you up and down, almost with contempt in his eyes.

"I had expected more from you," he said.

"But I suppose I expected too much"

Those words hit you like a blow to the stomach.

You knew he was right, but it didn't make the situation any less painful.

Your hands were clenched into tight fists, your fingers digging into your palms.

"I hate you," you spat out between sobs, your voice full of anger and hurt.

Ratio seemed unperturbed by your words to begin with.

He looked at you with an expressionless face for a moment, before speaking.

"You don't mean that"

You were angry, hurt, and sad, all at the same time.

"I do," you said, your eyes wet with tears.

"I hate you, and I wish you didn't exist"

The words came out of your mouth, more like a desperate plea.

Ratio didn't react at first, he just stood there, looking at you as you sobbed.

"You don't mean it," he repeated, his voice low and firm.

"And you know it"

"Yes I do," you insisted, your voice almost a hiss.

"I hate that you always criticize me," you said, letting out a sob. "I hate that you never say anything nice,"

You saw a slight change in his face through your tearful sight.

Before it becomes the same again.

"If you hate me and you can't stand the criticism I give you," his voice sounded annoying, almost words spit on his face.

"Why don't you retire from medical school?"

"You don't even have the talent to be a doctor anyway,"

You felt your heart drop at those words.

Talent… That was the thing that you always lacked.

Ratio was always the perfect doctor, from the beginning of his studies, he was the top of the top.

You, on the other hand, struggled.

You weren't naturally smart like your classmates or he was. You needed to study more, work harder, make more effort.

And even with all that, you didn't come close to being like he wanted.

You had sacrificed so many things just to get here, your dreams, your hobbies, and even your old friends.

What nice words from your boyfriend.

Both you and he remained silent, with only the sound of the boiling woman whistling.

Your tears fell like waterfalls, but this time you weren't sobbing, you just stared at him.

There was a tense silence between the two of you.

You didn't know what I was thinking, you didn't want to know either.

But you might notice that his facial expression was no longer the firm one before.

He seemed even surprised by his words.

He opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to speak.

But the words not came out.

Ratio was looking at your devastated face, the trail of tears already staining your clothes and cheeks.

Your red eyes stared at him, without blinking. Your expression seemed so different from a few seconds ago.

He had probably crossed the line.

Ratio stood there, looking at your tear-soaked face. He had never seen you so upset, so… desperate.

'Why don't you retire from medical school?'

His words will be repeated as a disc striped on your head.

The seconds passed slowly, the silence was only broken by the sound of boiling water.

Ratio moved slightly, taking a step forward, but stopped when his eyes met your gaze.

That look was almost one of… betrayal.

Something inside him stirred with frustration but guilt at the same time.

You forced yourself to take a breath, because you felt like you were going to drown.

You grabbed your bag with your trembling hands.

As you moved to grab your stuff, your eyesight never focused even on his shoes.

"Y/N…" Ratio tried to speak, his voice was hesitant.

He watched as you packed your things, your movements were jerky and with haste, with the only goal of leaving quickly.

You didn't look at him, avoiding his eyes completely.

"Where are you going?" His voice sounded more pleading, and with a hint of concern.

You felt your body tense, the sound of his voice made you shiver. You had forgotten how long it had been since you heard your boyfriend speak to you without being sharp or harsh.

"I'm leaving," you replied, your voice flat and emotionless.

"Do you care?"

"Of course I care" his voice was firmer than before, and maybe a little annoyed?

Ratio walked closer to you, his steps slow.

"I-, we need to talk"

That phrase came out of his mouth, almost in a pleading tone.

You continued to pack your things, not daring to look at him.

"We can talk tomorrow," you said. "I remembered I have something to do at home,"

Ratio's lips formed a straight line.

He just kept quiet.

You too, until you approached the door.

You felt the weight of his eyes on your back, almost burning.

You had your hand on the doorknob.

It was hard. More than you should.

"Tomorrow, then," he said, quietly.

The way Ratio spoke sounded almost vulnerable.

Your hand trembled on the doorknob.

You wanted to look back, to say something, to see his face.

But you didn't, because you know that seeing him would be even more painful.

"Sure," you managed to say, your voice hoarse.

The day after your… discussion with Ratio.

You were walking through the corridors of the medical school.

You felt a slight anxiety, but also a sense of resignation for what was going to happen.

You hadn't heard from Ratio since yesterday, and you weren't sure if it was on purpose or not.

As you turned a corner, you saw a familiar figure standing in your path.

You froze for a moment when you saw him.

He was dressed as usual and that perfect hairstyle.

But at least he didn't look so perfect, like he hadn't slept the night before.

His eyes were fixed on you, almost as if he were inspecting you.

Ratio his face neutral as always, but with a hint of… remorse?

"We need to talk," he repeated the phrase from yesterday, his voice low and firm.

Right.

"Oh, right," you let go, feeling your body tighten.

But before he could add anything else, you talked.

"Maybe later?, right now I have a class,"

Ratio had expected you to have a defiant or annoyed air about you.

But your voice, and expression, were calm, almost soft.

"Fine," he said after a few seconds. "Then after class,"

"After class," you confirmed.

Ratio continued to watch you.

The sound of the bell ringing through the hall interrupted the brief moment between the two of you.

not looking directly into his eyes. Then, before he could say anything again, you continued on your way to your classroom.

Ratio watched your figure walk away, his brows slightly furrowed.

Every ticking sound seemed almost as if it was mocking you.

The anticipation making your stomach spin.

In fact, you hadn't gone to a 'class'.

You went to talk to the rector of the medical school.

You felt a lump in your throat, and your hands were slightly sweaty.

You had an idea of what you wanted to talk about.

But you weren't so sure.

Your footsteps echoed through the hallway, your heart beating fast in your chest.

Until you arrived at the office door. You knocked gently and the voice of the rector called you in.

The moment of the meeting was brief, you explained the situation and what you decided. The man listened intently to your words, a slight sense of sympathy in his eyes.

When you finished, he nodded slowly, his fingers tapping on his desk. "Are you sure?" he asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"Yes," you responded, your voice firm but inside you were the nerves.

You didn't know if you had taken the right decision, but it was done.

"I don't want to question your decision, but-"

"I'm sure" you interrupted him abruptly.

It sounded a little… harsh, but you didn't want to hear any more arguments.

The rector gave a small resigned nod.

"Okay," he said slowly.

"I will start the procedures,"

You walked to where you knew Ratio would be teaching.

You didn't know why you approached, if you were supposed to leave without telling him anything.

Ratio was in the middle of his class when you appeared at the door.

He didn't see you at first, since his back was facing the door.

But when class ended a few minutes later, and everyone left, he turned his face towards the door after leaving his notes on his desk.

And there you were.

Your figure standing in the doorway.

Ratio's facial expression didn't change.

"Is your class over?," his voice was low, the room was empty, the last students had already left.

Which made the only sound a low ticking of the clock hanging on the wall.

Your feet didn't move toward him.

You were still standing by the door, your gaze fixed on the ground.

"Yes," your voice came out somewhat strangled.

For a few seconds Ratio was silent, as if contemplating you.

He started to walk towards you, his footsteps echoing in the room.

The air between the two of you felt almost… thick.

Ratio eventually stood in front of you, his height forcing you to lift your head to look at him.

"Can we talk outside of here?" You asked, something undesirable about your actions.

Ratio was quiet for a moment, staring down at you.

He looked almost… unreadable.

Finally he agreed with a low "sure".

You left the room and both you started walking together.

Neither of you spoke.

Silence.

Just the sound of the two of you walking through the corridors of the school.

Ratio continued to keep pace with you, but he was looking straight ahead, not looking directly at you.

The sound of your footsteps echoed in the empty halls.

As the two of you walked, you felt a feeling of nervousness rise in your stomach.

You inhaled before you asked again. "Can I take your hand?"

As you broke the silence, Ratio slightly turned his head towards you.

He gave a light nod of affirmation.

You reached for his hand, and he allowed you to hold it.

His palm was warm, and the touch of his fingers was gentle, almost firm.

You felt less nervous, just for a while.

You walked with him until you got to a quiet cafeteria, where you saw people studying at tables.

You sat in front of him, making your hand release his.

As you sat down in the cafeteria, Ratio took a seat in front of you.

Both of you stayed silent for a few more seconds.

Neither of you had said anything since you came to this place.

You could feel a tension in the air, the silence slowly becoming unbearable.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he spoke.

"I assume you didn't go to class," his statement sounded like a mere fact.

"Uhm, we can talk about that at another time," you said, playing with your hands a little bit.

You missed the touch of his hand against yours, and you were going to miss that, that's for sure.

"I don't hate you, Veritas," you said, remembering your words yesterday, that you ranted when he was being unpleasant and rude on you.

Ratio's brow furrowed slightly.

He didn't say anything for a moment, he seemed to be thinking about something.

His gaze was focused on you, his eyes studying your expression almost intently, as if he was examining you.

"I know," he said eventually, his voice low and quiet.

Then he spoke again.

"I have to apologize," his words sounded almost reluctant, as if he didn't like saying them.

You could see the muscles of his jaw clenched, he seemed to be struggling with his thoughts and words.

It was clear that he wasn't used to apologizing.

He continued, the words coming out a little hesitant.

"I shouldn't have said those things,"

He paused again, his gaze averting yours for a moment.

Then he spoke again, and his eyes fixed on yours again.

"I was too harsh,"

Ratio's voice was quiet, almost like a whisper.

He was still struggling with those words, you were so used to him insulting you so easily but apparently it was different when he apologized.

Significantly that produced peace of mind in you.

You couldn't help but smile a little, feeling the knot in your throat.

"That's okay," you said.

Ratio's eyebrow shot up, clearly not expecting such a response.

You knew him enough that he probably would have been prepared to receive a scolding or an argument in response.

He was still looking at you, you could see the slight surprise in his eyes.

"That's… it?"

Ratio seemed almost dumbfounded.

"Yes, that's what I needed to hear," you said.

Anyway, you had already started with the procedures with the rector.

Maybe you just wanted to hear his words of apology, but as a good memory.

Ratio's expression changed, it was almost a mixture of relief and confusion. It was almost as if he had expected more resistance from you.

He remained quiet for a few more seconds, continuing to watch you intently.

That you were so forgiving after how he had acted made him feel… strange.

But maybe he shouldn't think too much.

Ratio exhaled slowly, his facial expression returning to its usual stoic and composed state.

"You're too soft, dear," he murmured, his voice low and quiet.

The next day it was the same.

He felt calm, because at least you weren't upset and at least you clarified that you didn't hate him.

It had spent almost 40 minutes of class and you were not there yet, it was strange to him.

Until when you looked for you on campus, where you were supposed to have other classes, you hadn't attended them. Rather, you weren't even on campus.

And, no matter how much he send you a message, it came out that he couldn't contact your number.

Almost recently, he had to come and talk to the rector, about you not coming and you could fail all your other courses. Until he took it upon himself to tell him that you had withdrew from campus three months ago.

Ratio's eyes widened, his facial expression transforming into a look of disbelief. "What?," his voice was low, but with a hint of alarm.

His mind was processing this new information, and it was hard for him to believe.

"They… withdrew three months ago?" His words came out slowly, his heart was starting to race.

Yes, you had taken the decision to withdraw from the medical school.

As much as it looked like a tantrum, you didn't care, maybe he was right.

So you followed his advice.

49 notes · View notes

isagrimorie · 2 days ago

Note

trick or treat!

For this writer's ask game

Sorry, it's late!

This is just a snippet that was going through my head! (Started out as post musing on a thought. So this is more concept writing than a story-story!)

----

It occurred to me that Billy’s been uncomfortably witness to Agatha and Rio’s intimate moments two times now.

If it happens a third time, Death will dropkick Billy into a different dimension.

Death will retrieve him because Agatha will demand Rio return Billy to Earth.

(Not that Agatha cares for the Teen or anything).

It isn’t any better on Billy’s end either, it’s not like he asked to be in that situation both times.

The first time Agatha as Agnes tied him up and stashed him in a literal closet.

And then Rio exploded Agatha’s front door, and then Rio proceeded to kick Agatha’s ass and it turned weird. He’d rather forget he ever saw Actual Personification of Death lick Agatha’s hand.

The second time Billy thought he was saving Agatha’s life— and then she double crossed him, and somehow it ended with Agatha making out with Death. And it looked like they forgot he was around, and then Agatha died.

(She got better.

“Can’t keep a good witch down. Especially this Witch.”)

The Third time... well.

It started suddenly when Rio appeared, her face was more skull than flesh.

There was yelling and more yelling,

“You’re a ghost!?”

“Admit it, honey, you’d still hit this!”

Death's growl sounded like a wolf growling in an endless cave. “With a barn door!”

A barn door indeed flew off the hinges and straight for Agatha. If Agatha still had a body, it could have cut off her head. Billy hit the floor. It sailed through Agatha.

"I'm a ghost, honey, nothing you can throw can get me! I'm beyond you now."

"Uh, Agatha, maybe don't irritate, Death!" Billy yelled.

Agatha didn't listen.

"Sweetheart, I'm Death." Suddenly Rio's hand glowed, and she reached out. Billy expected her hand to pass through, instead Rio had a firm grasp on Agatha's ghostly arm. "Nothing is beyond me."

"WHAT!?" Agatha yelped, outraged.

"Just because I hate ghosts, doesn't mean I can't do anything with ghosts."

There were some pointed barbs after and then suddenly they were...

"Why are you guys suddenly kissing!" And how does one even make out with a skull??? Billy didn't know but Agatha sure seemed to successfully kiss a skull.

Suddenly Rio raised a hand and did a flicking gesture, and suddenly he was... in a void.

"Honestly," Billy said, out loud to himself, "this is better."

#-#

#answered #trickofthelights #concept writing #agatha harkness #rio vidal #otp: rio x agatha #otp: agatha x rio #otp: vidarkness #tv: agatha all along #agatha spoilers #agatha all along spoilers #lady death | rio vidal #ask game #writing ask game

50 notes · View notes

dfwbwfbbwfbwf · 3 days ago

Text

I refuse to believe the Valar wouldn't have fought Morgoth without the Silmaril.

(There's a TLDR at the end.)

.... Not really Valar friendly, but not anti Valar either. Valar critical, but still more on their side than not.

I have many, MANY issues with how the Valar handled a lot of things - Finwë's remarriage, stepping over Finwë's authority as king, basically letting Morgoth go after his false repentance was revealed, basically letting Morgoth go because he crossed the Helcaraxë, the Silmarils, refusing to go after Morgoth when Fëanáro made it clear he would never give them his Silmarils, etc. - but I don't think they're malicious enough to hold back their help by the time Eärendil arrived.

When the Darkening happened, the Valar were ... naive is probably the best word I can use to describe it. And petty - they are absolutely petty, especially Yavanna and Tulkas. "Oh, the Noldor don't want anything to do with us? Well, we WON'T help! How about that? And don't call back because we won't even answer the phone!" Then Manwë sat by the metaphorical phone wondering sadly why they wouldn't call. :(

.... I have honestly no idea why they didn't go fight Morgoth to begin with - they could've evacuated everyone out of the area like they did in the War of the Powers - but I digress. I still don't think it was malicious or because they wanted anyone to die. (Well, maybe Yavanna - I've never really gotten vibes from her that she likes ANY of Eru's children because they use her precious plants to survive, though maybe she'd like the Hobbits.) I think it was more of a childish thought on the Valar's part. "Fëanáro will see one day, and he'll be sorry!" That sort of thing.

And I think the Valar didn't really see anything wrong with what they did until the Dagor Bragollach. They made the Sun and Moon, and Men came to be, so clearly everything was going fine. See, Fëanáro, the Valar didn't need to do anything so drastic like return to Endórë.

Of course, then everything else happened......

.... I find it very difficult to believe that the Valar wouldn't know about this. Námo and Vairë would, 100%. Varda, too - she sees everything. And Manwë hears everything, and he's clearly been listening to the goings-on in Endórë before. Ulmo also actively participates in what goes on in Beleriand. These five at least would know how bad it's gotten in Middle Earth.

It was around this time Turgon sent sailors to beg help from the Valar, mind you. All drowned to Ossë, save Voronwë, and Ulmo did nothing. And it can easily be argued that the only reason Ulmo didn't let Voronwë die was so that someone could take his pet Man to his pet Elf's city. Which I guess is better than nothing, at least.

I justify this with the Valar being petty but not malicious. I genuinely think that Manwë thought the Noldor would pray if they needed help. (Yes, he said to never call him again, and the Noldor probably DID pray in the beginning - especially Turgon's people - but Manwë ... doesn't exactly logic very well.)

Anyway, Eärendil would eventually show up, and let's say he didn't have the Silmaril?

At this point in time, the Valar would have no excuse. They would know exactly how bad it is in Middle Earth. And the fact that Eärendil is pleading for mercy for everyone - including the SoF - should have an impact. If they still refused to go against Morgoth because he didn't have a Silmaril, the Valar would not be good and moral. Maybe not quite as bad as Morgoth, but they wouldn't be far off.

.....

I wonder if Eärendil is one of those scenarios where you are so focused on an outcome - either to make it happen or to avoid it entirely - that it comes to pass through your own actions.

The Valar - or at least Námo, because we know at least he can see the future - saw Eärendil as the only way to save everything from Morgoth, and became so fixated on him that they inevitably created that future. "We have to bend the rules Ilúvatar made about marriage, or Eärendil won't come." "We can't get involved, or Eärendil won't come." "We need the Sons of Fëanáro to do these horrible things, or Eärendil won't come."

(I absolutely DESPISE this logic, but it's better than the "all is well in Valinórë; yea, Valinórë prospereth - all is well" logic the Valar show. At least it would mean one of the Valar was taking steps to fix things rather than ignore the problem in the hope of it going away.)

-----

There's also the fact that Melian herself told Thingollo to give up the Silmaril. She can see the future, and she'd know the hearts of the Valar. If she had even an inkling that they would reject Eärendil without the Silmaril, I don't think she'd suggest returning it to the SoF.

-----

I guess you can say "the Valar needed to see the Noldor had gotten over their prideful ways", but I still don't see how EÄRENDIL giving them a SILMARIL would do that. It wasn't his to give. It wasn't ELWING'S to give. Or Dior's. Or Thingollo's. Or Lúthien's. Or Beren's.

-----

TLDR

I think the argument that Beren, Lúthien, Thingollo, Dior, and Elwing needed to keep the Silmaril away from the SoF to save the world is complete and utter bs, and I'm not afraid to say it. There's no way the Valar are so cruel and heartless as to let all of Endórë die to Morgoth because they didn't get a Silmaril - that goes against everything that Tolkien believed of them. They're flawed, but they aren't (supposed to be) selfish enough to watch the world burn to prove their point.

I think the compassion Eärendil showed had more of an effect in changing the hearts of the Valar than the Silmaril.

#tolkien #tolkien legendarium #silmarillion #tolkien headcanons #Valar #Eärendil #Silmarils #My takes

33 notes · View notes

millieisawriter · 3 days ago

Text

Little acts of kindness

kieran duffy x reader

summary: kieran is smitten with you, and you're oblivious to his feelings (and his attempt to confess them), you realize that love shows up in unexpected places, and now it's up to you to decide if you're ready to give him a chance

wc: 1.8k

all pics taken from pinterest

♡this wasn't requested, but if you wish to request something you're more than welcome♡

Kieran has been in the gang for a few weeks now, after having joined not by choice, but taken hostage. Fortunately, now that he proved to be trustworthy after saving Arthur's life, he was allowed to freely walk around the camp. Mostly, he just took care of the horses, maybe that was all he knew how to do.

Or maybe he actually loved it, and the horses were rather fond of him, too. Even your mare that was usually wary of others, especially strangers, seemed to not mind it when Kieran would brush her, or feed her.

Others would often joke about how alike you and your mount were – both with a short temper, a bit wild, a bit mean. Many believed your horse still wasn't broken, but you could ride her well. It was others that she didn't allow get close to her, especially men.

That's why you were more than surprised when you saw Kieran so close to her. He was brushing your mare's tail, and he could still stand on his feet, which was odd considering your mare's temper.

"O'Driscoll boy." You called out, causing Kieran to flinch, you could tell he didn't see you coming.

"I— I ain't no O'Driscoll, miss." He replied nervously, tired of everyone calling him that name. He didn't even run with O'Driscolls that long. "I'm— I'm sorry, I thought I'd just..."

Kieran trailed off as you approached closer, hoping you won't notice his breath becoming so shallow he could stop breathing at all. And, as you stood right next to him, you saw how beautifully he had braided your mare's tail.

Ever since Kieran has been let off that pole, he was trying his best to blend into the background. Doing just enough to contribute, keep the camp clean and the horses fed, but not enough to catch someone's attention and get yelled at for nothing.

Even though Kieran didn't mind it when you were the one yelling at him. Well, you didn't really shout, but even if you were just snapping at him, or nagging him to do something, he would secretly be happy, because at least you talked to him.

"Maybe you ain't that bad, Kieran."

Kieran knew these words probably didn't mean anything to you, but they made his heart thud in his chest like a train. And you were the outlaw his train was robbed by. And this was the first time you called him by his first name, instead of O'Driscoll boy, or something worse.

You continued, "She doesn't let others get close to her, not the men at least. Guess you're special." Your tone was teasing, but he took your words as a compliment.

"She's a nice horse," Kieran said, "I don't get why others say she's... mean."

Mean wasn't exactly how others described her, but you caught his meaning. "Guess she's very picky. I remember when we were out on a job in Blackwater and she literally bit Micah in the ass. He was so angry, it was priceless. Micah still says she should've been shot long ago, apparently that's what happens to crazy horses."

You laughed at the memory, and Kieran smiled. He didn't know why you were talking to him, but he wanted to enjoy it while it lasted.

"I just..." he hesitated, "I dunno, talked to her. It's kind of like talking to people, you gotta earn their trust."

You hummed thoughtfully, surprised by his answer. It was easy to forget that there was more to Kieran than his stammering and nervous glances. For all his skittishness, he was an intelligent and caring guy - something most men in the gang lacked.

"Or maybe she's just like a stick of dynamite," Kieran allowed himself to joke, "gotta be careful with those."

A short laugh escaped you before you could stop it. "So which one is it, Kieran? Is she nice, or a dynamite stick?"

"Can't she be both? Makes her a lot of work, but she's worth it..."

The look in his eyes caught you off guard. He was talking about the horse, yes, but his words could have a deeper meaning.

Your mare shifted in spot, her ears flicking as if sensing the tension, and Kieran's gaze fell back to her, as if he feared he said too much.

"Thanks for braiding her tail," you switched the topic, "it looks pretty."

The second time you didn't snap at Kieran, but instead were nice to him, was a few days later. There were some tensions in the gang, Micah trying to get inside everyone's heads, Sadie arguing with Pearson, Abigail nagging about John's lack of responsibility more than usually.

So you decided to clear your head and go for a ride. Grabbing the saddle and throwing it over your mare's back, you hoped to be quick so that no one starts nagging your ass about a chore that needed doing.

As you tightened the straps, you felt something was different. You ran your hand along the leather, frowning. The buckle near the stirrup, the one that had been coming loose for weeks, was now repaired. As if someone carefully mended it without telling you, and you had an idea who could have done it.

You've been meaning to fix it for ages, but never had time. Every time you came back from a job, there were chores that needed doing, or people needing something. You barely had time to eat, let alone fix the saddle.

Kieran, as always, was by the horses. Making your way over, you heard a soft melody he was humming as he brushed one of the horses.

"Hey, O'Driscoll boy." You said, but your tone had softened throughout the days.

Kieran's eyes met yours, and you could see the nervousness already setting in. "Yes, miss?" He asked, clutching the brush in both hands.

"You wouldn't happen to know anything about a saddle that needed fixing, would ya?"

He gulped, afraid he overcrossed a boundary. "Oh... yeah, uh, I noticed it needed fixing. So I— I fixed it. Didn't want you falling and getting hurt or... something. I know you didn't ask for help, but—"

You interrupted him, "I ain't mad, Kieran. Thank you, I appreciate it, really."

Kieran's face brightened as if you just handed him gold, his eyes widening. "I'm just happy to help, miss."

The next few days were tiring. Dutch had you running errands for him, some business in Rhodes, and you were so tired you couldn't wait to have a moment to sit down and relax.

You had just rode back into the camp. There was nothing you dreamed of more than sitting down for a moment to drink coffee and talk with the girls. If you were lucky, maybe Grimshaw wouldn't be after your asses for being lazy for more than five minutes.

You had barely finished unsaddling your mare when Kieran approached you.

"Hey, uhh..." he started hesitantly, shifting in spot, "I was wondering if you'd like t-to go fishing... with me?"

You blinked at him, your tired mind only half-processing his words. Fishing sounded like more effort than you had energy for. Besides, you weren't that good at fishing anyway. Like, Arthur was better than you, and he wasn't good at all, which spoke for itself.

"Not sure, Kieran. Kinda just feel like sitting around today, y'know?"

Kieran's face fell just a little, but he quickly covered it with a nod, forcing a polite smile. "I see, I see. Maybe another time."

"Maybe another time."

You walked off to where the girls were gathered by their wagon, and you didn't see how Kieran walked away, his shoulders slouched as if he has just been scolded.

Plopping down beside Mary-Beth, you stretched out with a sigh, savoring the momentary peace. The girl beside you gave you a nudge.

"What did Kieran want?" She asked curiously.

"Oh, nothing," you replied with a dismissive wave, "he just wanted to go fishing or something. Told him I'm too tired for that. Not like I can fish anyway, never had the patience."

Other girls exchanged a knowing look, clearly amused, which only seemed to confuse you. "Oh, honey." Karen chuckled.

You looked between the three girls. "What?"

Tilly spoke, "You don't realize, do you?"

"Realize what?"

Mary-Beth leaned in, lowering her voice. "It wasn't just fishing he was asking you for. He was asking you to spend time with him. Alone."

You paused for a second, maybe too tired to process the meaning. "And?"

Tilly rolled her eyes, clearly struggling to hold back a laugh. "Girl, he likes you! He's been watching you for... well, as long as we've been out of Colter and he could take a proper look at you."

"What are you talking about?" Your tone expressed annoyance, but the blush that crept onto your face told a different story.

Karen interjected, louder than you'd like, "He's sweet on you, god damn it!"

Other girls laughed along as you let the realization hit you. You weren't the one to get involved with men, always too busy to focus on romance. Not like any man in the gang was your type anyway, but now... well, Kieran was a part of the gang too. Maybe it was the time to lay off the hard work to the side and focus on some romance in your story.

"You really think he was asking me... on a date?" You hesitated.

"Yeah," Mary-Beth nodded, "in his... odd, shy way. Probably the only way he knows. Kind of cute, it is."

Karen added, "Must've been the first time poor boy did somethin' like this. And he got rejected!"

Mary-Beth patted your shoulder encouragingly. "Go on, you can still catch him."

Hesitantly, you got to your feet, your heart racing as you made your way across camp. It didn't take long to find Kieran. As always, he was just trying to stay out of everyone's way. He was sitting down, fixing another saddle.

"Kieran?" You said, now with a completely soft tone of voice.

He looked up at you from his work, surprised. "Uh, yes, miss?" He asked, already bracing himself for another disappointment.

And just like that, your mind was empty and no words could come to mind. You bit your lip, thinking. "I was, uh, thinking... about that fishing offer, y'know? Is it still on the table?"

His face lit up, a bigger smile replacing his usual shy grimace. "Yes, yes, it is."

"I think I'd like to go, after all..."

"Great! I mean... good, good." He stood up, setting the saddle he was fixing aside. "I'll, uh, go get my fishing rod."

Your eyes followed Kieran as he rushed off to find the item. Maybe you were blind before, but you weren't about to make that mistake again.

You didn't even have a fishing rod anymore, not after your previous one snapped in half years ago. But you agreed to go, just to spend some time with Kieran. He was so nice, after all, so why not give him a chance.

#kieran duffy #kieran duffy x reader #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 x reader #rdr2 community #red dead redemption 2 x reader #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #kieran duffy fanfiction #kieran duffy imagine

45 notes · View notes

spacelessbian · 3 days ago

Text

thoughts on Agatha All Along FINALE

Full spoilers ahead, 100% don't read if you haven't seen episodes 8 and 9.

I really enjoyed the finale, both episodes had a lot to offer and overall I am quite happy with how the show concluded. Things that I liked in no particular order:

The REVEALS. There is simply nothing better than a reveal that recontextualizes everything. And we didn't get just one, but two! Personally I found Agatha running a con and murdering women for centuries the more fun one, but Billy actually creating the Road was also really good and even though I've only seen the show once (unlike many people on here, no doubt), I can name many points in the story and in the dialogue where this is worked in and suddenly makes sense. Really great stuff.

Agatha and Nicky. I was dreading this part a little bit because I know Nicholas Scratch is some sort of big name in Marvel comics and I truly couldn't care less, so I'm pleased with what we got – a genuinely sweet yet tragic story of a mom and her son, destined to death even before being born. I was surprised (but in a good way) by Agatha's quiet reaction to Nicky's death because we know his death hurt her badly, but that's just how it is sometimes.

Agatha and Rio. I won't say I'd always had fate in Marvel to not mess this up, so yay! I don't think they did. This relationship is the heart of the show (and it is black and beats for the queers) and I think the writers did it justice (apart from one thing which I will get to in the next section). The kiss was intense, sexy, beautiful and also tragic and both Kathryn Hahn and Aubrey Plaza did a fantastic job with every piece of dialogue and every expression. I want them to play doomed lovers in five more projects, at least.

The coven. I already blogged about Jen but man, is it funny. Even this was Agatha all along, but she is such a menace she hasn't even realized that. I'm truly happy for Jen making it through and getting her power back. I'm glad we saw Alice's last moment and I liked how much Billy cared about her, Lilia and Sharon.

Agatha's death. I can't help myself, I need to go to that moment again. I was destroyed by that. It was so beautiful, both thematically and also visually and all. The flowers and mushrooms? The sun coming up? I kept thinking about Hozier's Work Song: When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down. I'll crawl home to her. (whadup, Rio reference)

Agatha and Billy specifically in that last battle scene. She was blue you guys, she was just completely blue and in the exact same blue that Billy wears in his silly Marvel costume. And Billy just offered her his power, without questions and without wanting anything in return! And she didn't kill him! (Writing that down, the bar is on the floor for Agatha lol.)

There are other small things (like the Subaru lol), but I am ready to go to the bad section now. Two things I did not like (hidden for lenght but also because not everyone wants to read negative stuff):

Agatha's ghost. I'm gonna say it. Agatha as a ghost looks fucking terrible and her existence itself diminishes her death scene. I do understand why they did it and even why she looks like that (Agatha in the comics, as I understand it, is Wanda's mentor and also an older white haired lady, so they wanted to keep that but it didn't make sense with Wanda anymore), but I just hate it. Especially the wig.

The Marvel stuff. Yes, I realize this sounds stupid, it is a Marvel show after all. We wouldn't get a stupid gimmick like ghost Agatha joining Billy to look for his brother if this wasn't a starting point for the Wiccan. And I like Billy, I do, I also (obviously) love Agatha, who was first introduced in WandaVision (I realize the hypocrisy), but it just doesn't work for me. I would rather think about the beautiful death scene with it's poetic tragedy than about white haired Agatha floating on a washing machine, I'm sorry.

That being said, I really really liked the whole show and I am happy to say I hooked in my best friend (if you are reading this, you are contractually obliged to like the post, you know how it is) and that I actually know other people irl who watched it and enjoyed it. I'm sad it's over and even sadder that in this day and age, noone will talk about it in about two to three weeks. Anyway, it was lovely.

#agatha all along #agatha harkness #rio vidal #nicholas scratch #billy maximoff #agatha spoilers #agatha all along spoilers #no hate please #this is just my personal opinion

26 notes · View notes

1percychase · 2 days ago

Text

Okay so apparently people ACTUALLY think Percabeth is a toxic relationship, and it wasn't just a joke. Okay so first of all, Percabeth is like the best couple in all of riordanverse (you can't change my mind) but I genuinely don't trust people who don't like them. Most of the things I saw were people saying annabeth is abusive to percy. Now I do NOT think this is true whatsoever. But we aren't going to dismiss such a heavy topic so..

1. Seaweed Brain.

People legitimately think that's Annabeth calling him dumb, and it hurts his feelings, ect. But if this is your point, have you even read the books properly? They're kids, they're gonna have "mean" nicknames for each other. No one says Percy is toxic for calling her "wise girl" maybe because it sounds positive, but it's nearly the same thing, he made a nickname because of her godly parent, just like she did. The books are literally in Percy's point of view, if he didn't like the nickname, we would know, and most likely I think he'd say something if he didn't like it, instead he hardly reacted. And in the Titan's Curse when Thalia calls him Seaweed Brain he said something along the lines of "somehow, it was okay when Annabeth called me that, but hearing Thalia say it was not cool." (I not going to correctly quote it lol) Percy is the type of guy to say something when people do something he doesn't like

2. Annabeth hitting/punching him

Okay so yes, annabeth does hit and punch him, but it's more playfully. She never does it to hurt him or "punish" him. And like I said, the books are in Percy's point of view, we would know if he was in pain or not, and he never seems like he's in pain. Okay and then to use the Titan's Curse again, when Annabeth punches him, he doesn't even say anything about it, and in the other situations where she he never once says it hurts or anything. Now I'm not gonna dismiss this one, yes this could be abusive. And if your roles were reversed, everyone would be freaking out. Personally, I think she isn't doing this in an abusive way, but I'll just keep this one open for discussion.

3. The Judo flip.

I can totally see what why people think this is abusive, but I really don't see it like that. The Roman's thought it was an attack, which is completely fair because that's exactly what it looked like. She really missed him and that's just a way she shows that, it's not like that's the first thing she does to him. Many people say she's trying to "punish him for leaving" but I see it as a way she showed anger, even if it wasn't directly towards him. Now ofc I can't say it didn't hurt. That would be a guess considering that it's in Annabeths pov, but Percy's reaction to this was to laugh. Also, percy has probably been Judo flipped millions of times, it's most likely apart of their training, meaning Percy could've Judo flipped Annabeth before too! Also let's be honest, Annabeth probably thought he still had his achilles heel, her goal of this WASN'T to hurt or punish Percy whatsoever.

Also let's be honest, Percy can most likely spot abuse and he wouldn't let people mistreat him. Percabeth is more healthy than most relationships I've seen in real life. Now, there are LOTS of other things people have mentioned, but these are the main things I kept on seeing. If you have another reason why they could be toxic or abusive, please let me know, and I'll try to explain how it isn't!

Anyways I wrote this at 1 am so there probably isn't grammer and part of it might not make sense so sorry if you don't understand something!!

#i dont trust you if you think they arent perfect #annabeth chase #percy jackson #percabeth #smart water #no seriously how are they toxic??#pjo #heroes of olympus #rick riordan #pjo fandom

29 notes · View notes

uceyliyahh · 20 hours ago

Text

SOMETHING BOUT’ US

Summary: "I want you more than anything in my life." After being in a difficult relationship with Carmelo Yasmine decided to move on from him and become the next big thing while getting drafted on the smackdown roster she always thought she would never find love again due to her commitment issues until she met him.

This fanfic is 18+! NO MINORS ALLOWED

word count: 4242

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

Jey Uso x Yasmine

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh. 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic

@hunnidmilly @celesteheartsjey @charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @lov3rla03 @simpin4pixels @nbanenefrmdao

YASMINE It was nine in the morning as the birds were chirping, and sunlight was beaming through my curtains I and Jey were sleeping soundly while I was lying on top of his body while his hands were resting on my butt firmly underneath the warm blanket.

We were sleeping well until I heard my door open, which caused me to flutter my eyes open, squinting to see who was at my door. I saw that it was Bianca coming in, seeing me and him sleeping in the same bed together.

"Is y'all two like dating or something?" She whispered. I immediately shook my head while she snickered at me.

Feeling Jey shifting his position and pulling me down with him, which shocked Me, and Bianca gripping my butt tightly, making my body feel electricity when he did that.

"Please don't tell Montez about this...even though he knows, but don't tell me about this part." I whispered as she nodded her head before heading out.

Bianca shut the door as I gazed up at Jey, who was still sleeping soundly, mumbling something. Maybe he was having a bad dream right now, which is why he did what he did.

He slithered his hands inside of my shorts. It made me feel a little bit wet from him doing this, but I had to get up and get ready for work. Today, I do hair on the side because it's my favorite thing to do.

I tried to get up from his grasp, but he wouldn't move, "J-Josh...I gotta get up, c'mon." He groaned, not even hinting that he wanted to get up.

'I'm going to be late for work because of this man.'

I just lay there for a moment before trying again. I was playing in his mullet, watching him sleep. His features looked so beautiful that I couldn't help but admire him.

I grabbed his phone, which was next to him, and checked the time. I sighed deeply, knowing that I was going to be late, so I managed to escape his grip while standing up and walking quietly toward my bathroom.

I removed my clothing as I began my skincare routine before heading into the shower. While I was doing that, I heard my bedroom door opening. Montez was probably in there, and that's when I heard thumping on the floor.

'Do these two have to play fight in my bedroom?'

I heard them two going at it with each other playfully as I finished up my skincare routine. When I realized I hadn't brought my towel with me, I cursed under my breath. I slightly opened the door, seeing them two wrestling each other on the ground. That's when I cleared my throat, gaining their attention.

"What's up Minks?" Montez questioned me.

"I forgot my towel can one of yall bring it to me please?" I said, having the door slightly closed so that they wouldn't be scarred for life by my naked figure.

They both stared at each other figuring out who was going to bring me my towel 'I literally told these dickheads one of them can bring it, why do men have to be stupid.' That's when Jey got up from the floor and saw my pink towel that was hanging from my chair.

He walked towards me, holding my towel in his hands, smiling at me before heading towards Montez.

"Thank you Josh."

"You're welcome ma." Jey said, hearing the bathroom door shut.

✧˚° After eating breakfast with everyone, I managed to make it to work. I saw everyone getting their heads done, and then I went inside the break room to clock in for work.

I felt my phone buzz while I pulled it out from my pocket, seeing that Jey had texted me. I had three or four clients today for hair appointments, so today would be busy.

Joshua🤍 sent 2+ messages IMESSAGE 💬 Joshua🤍: Hey, Mama I was seeing if you made it to work safe Joshua🤍: you're one hell of a cook girl is there anything you can't do? 😭

I smiled at his messages. He seemed so sweet and genuine, but I had to protect myself at all costs, and I really did want us to be friends first before anything happened. But I don't know. It's like every time I see him or even be around him, he always makes me nervous.

IMESSAGE 💬 Yasmine🩵: yes I made it to work safe Josh Joshua🤍: that's good mama so your brother calls you Minks? Huh? Yasmine🩵: yeah, it's a nickname he would call me growing up as a kid Joshua🤍: it's cute I should change yo' name in my phone to that. Yasmine🩵: it's your world Joshua do whatever Joshua🤍: whatever little girl Yasmine🩵: 🖕🏼🖕🏼

I'm tired of his ass calling me a little girl like a he's big dawg or something; one of my clients came in a bit late due to traffic. I told them that I wasn't trippin' and was very understanding with the whole traffic situation.

As I was washing their locs in the sink, I couldn't help but think about Jey and how gentle he is with me as a friend, of course. I honestly don't know if I'll be able to fall in love again after what happened to me.

But Jey is something different; different from the others. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. After washing their locs, I sat them down in the hairdryer so that their locs could dry. In the meantime, I was getting my loc gel and comb ready for them, along with texting Jey.

Yasmine🩵: what'chu doing? Joshua🤍: I'm at the gym working out right now Yasmine🩵: interesting 🤔 Joshua🤍: wym by that? you wanna see a pic or something? Yasmine🩵: nah nah i was just saying that's all I thought you would be chilling in the crib Joshua🤍: well I got a dark match tonight on smackdown so I have to be in good shape Yasmine🩵: a'ight a'ight Joshua🤍:

'This man is going to shoot me dead like woah.'

Yasmine🩵: okay period get them gains boy Joshua🤍: girl, yo' ass is funny for real Yasmine🩵: what can I say I'm the funniest person in the fam 🙂 Joshua🤍: don't you got a client to be focusing one right now ma'am? Yasmine🩵: yes but their hair is drying right now, and not too much don't be tryna clock me sir 🙄 Joshua🤍: you and that sassy ass attitude of yours Yasmine🩵: what'chu goin' to do about it?

'Where is this boldness coming from?'

Joshua🤍: fuck around and find out Minks 🙂 Yasmine🩵: you know what let me go finish my clients hair before I catch a case Joshua🤍: man, you ain't gonna do a damn thing little mama better watch yo' self Yasmine🩵: yap yap yap that's all I hear right now Josh and you aren't goin' do shit either so that makes the two of us. 😀💁🏼‍♀️ Joshua🤍: mhm just wait until I see yo' ass

I rolled my eyes at the text he just sent he's so annoying he's like another annoying ass brother hell he's even worse than Montez ass, i sat my client down in the chair and began parting their hair doing what I do best.

They showed me what hairstyles they wanted, and I told them I could do that for them. As I was focusing on their hair, I heard a familiar voice coming in the background; not even paying attention, noticing that an unwanted presence was walking up towards me.

I looked up only to see Carmelo standing there with my favorite roses in his hands along with some other things, I don't know if this was him telling me that he's sorry or some type of trick for him to do it to me again.

"Carmelo what are you doing here?" I questioned him.

"Baby I just came to visit my favorite girl at work. Are you coming to support me tonight for my dark match?" Carmelo said.

"I'm going to be there only to support Montez and Jey..." when I said that name his facial expression dropped immediately.

He remembered what he had said to me, saying how I only belonged to him and only him, so when he heard me say another man's name, he didn't like that.

"As in Jey Uso?"

"Yeah, Jonathan's twin." I replied while applying the clips onto their locs.

"What's goin with'chu and him?" Why the fuck is he asking me all of these questions I literally just met Jey and we are just friends 'or so I thought.'

Like he's being possessive when we aren't even together anymore, how the fuck does that work?

"Look, don't start this in here with me while I'm at work. You can leave respectfully," I said sternly, staring deeply into his dark brown eyes.

"I'm just asking baby, ion' want no other nigga to be all in that like I do shit he probably can't handle all of you." I scoffed in disbelief. How could he be so confident about this? When he doesn't even know the little mini flirting that me and Jey do like, Jey could scoop me up right away in a heartbeat.

I nodded my head, cooperating with him so that nothing terrible happened to me while I was there because he was crazy and he could end up doing what he did before.

He placed a kiss on my cheek, which gave me shivers down my spine. How badly I wanted to wipe that fucking kiss off of my face as he walked off.

I immediately wiped the kiss off my cheek, feeling disgusted as I continued to do their locs.

✧˚° I was done with work today and made a lot of tips, which made me happy. I texted Montez, letting him know that I'll be in his locker room watching his match, including Jey's match as well. I have never seen him wrestle before in the ring, so this should be interesting.

As I was walking towards his locker room i bumped into Jey who had his yeet gear on along with his golden grills including his piercings and fresh haircut I just wanted to pass out right then and there but I had to play it cool.

"My fault minks didn't even see you there yo' ass is short." Jey said jokingly as I punched him in his arm.

"Don't be coming for my height just because you're taller than me don't mean that I won't whoop that ass." I said boldly as he had a smug expression appearing on his lips.

"You like to talk a lot of shit don't you little mama." I nodded my head while folding my arms over my chest standing my ground I was not finna play with him right now.

Little did I know someone was watching us behind the corner.

"Last time I checked, I said you weren't going to do anything about it." I got all up in his face, looking deeply into his low, hooded eyes.

I felt him pull me by the waist so that I could be closer to his body, he smelt so good it felt like I was in heaven right now with him.

Our faces were close to each other lips almost touching each other while he whispered something in my ear, "and last time I checked I said fuck around and find out didn't I?" His voice was so deep and raspy, almost killing somebody.

My breathing felt uneven, being underneath him like this. Why am I getting like this with him? I looked down at my hands, fiddling with them as he grabbed my chin, making me stare into his eyes yet again.

Earning a smile from him before brushing his thumb against my lips, "your adorable minks but I'll see you later after my match yeah?"

"Yeah, I'll be in Montez's locker room," I said as he and I backed away from each other, letting him off to his match while I walked inside Montez's locker room.

She sat down in the chair, staring up at the TV, seeing her brother and Angelo coming out with B-fab, hyping up the crowd. They always played in my brother's face like he wouldn't have a title shot.

As I was watching them, I heard the door opening and saw Trinity coming in. She came up to me, giving me a hug before sitting down.

"Hey babygirl how are you mentally?" She asked.

"I'm doing better mentally, honestly." I replied seeing Montez and Angelo coming out.

She raised an eyebrow at me, "And who's helping you out with that girl?" I didn't say anything; I just looked at her and then back up at the screen, watching my brother's match.

Trinity got the hint of who was helping out with that, and she knew that it was her brother-in-law, Jey. He and I are just friends, and he's been helpful throughout the whole thing.

"So you and Josh?" My eyes fixed on her. "We are just friends, Trin; nothing more. I told you all I think I wanna be in a relationship again."

"I understand if I were in your shoes, Yasmine, but I think Josh is different from any other guy that you have dealt with, including Carmelo. But I get it, " she said.

I nodded my head while watching Montez get dropped on the table, feeling his pain, as I was watching my brother get demolished right now. Meanwhile, I started to drown in my thoughts, thinking about what had happened earlier at work and then the intense moment Jey and I had together.

I threw away the roses he had bought me not wanting to trace any negative energy around me and when he kissed me on the cheek I just felt so disgusted especially after what he did to me.

I was listening to what Trinity had said about Jey. Maybe she's right, and maybe he is different from any other guy I was with, but I would have to see that for myself. But did I really want to go through that route again?

Dating someone just for them to hurt me again at this point I might as well kill myself if that was the case. Nonetheless I have to protect myself at all cost.

"Do you know when you're debuting on Smackdown?"

"I have no idea Paul hasn't said anything to me yet about it." I said shrugging my shoulders in the process.

"Well, he needs to figure it out so I can see my girl do some flips." I chuckled at her. Looking at the screen, I saw that Montez and Angelo got the W for tonight. I think Jey's match is the main event after the commercial break.

Hearing Montez coming in with Bianca as he held onto his head with an ice pack, man if I was in his shoes right now I probably would've been in pain man.

"How are you feeling brother?"

"Nigga I'm in pain girl just wait until you start you'll understand." Montez said.

"Nigga What'chu mean? I already felt it when I was in NXT." I said jokingly while rolling my eyes at him.

"So, Yasmine, how are you and Joshua?" Montez looked at me and then back at Bianca, confused, trying to figure out what she was talking about.

I told her to stop talking about it because there wasn't anything going on between me and him. We are just friends, nothing more. Well, that's what I believe because we've been doing some mini flirting, like earlier before I came to the Montez locker room.

But Montez wasn't buying it he wanted to know since he trust Jey with his life. "Brother, nothing is happening between him and I; I promise we are just friends." I earned a hum from him as he was smelling bullshit but just left it alone.

I know how overprotective Montez is toward me, especially now since the incident that happened, so of course, he's going to be looking out for me.

I heard Jey's music playing as his match was approaching. I saw him coming out of the gorilla and going towards the ring, mouthing to the camera, "Here I go, here I go." I couldn't help but admire him as I watched him go out there.

He was interacting with the crowd as they waved the hands up and down vibing out with him.

✧˚° I was walking towards the gorilla to congratulate Jey on his win tonight when I felt someone pull me to the side before I could turn. When I turned around, I saw Carmelo next to me with his arms folded.

I rolled my eyes at him, trying to ignore his presence. Walking in, the gorilla saw Jey standing there, his hair all messy and sweating. Man, he never fails to look so good.

He had his back turned, talking to Jonathan about something. As I tapped him on the shoulder, he turned around, noticing my little self gazing up at him.

I still felt Carmelo's presence behind me as Jey gazed down at me with a smile while giving me a hug. I knew that Carmelo was watching, probably fuming right now at the sight.

"Hey, pretty girl you watched my match for tonight?" Jey asked as he kept his hands on my hips.

"Yeah, I did you did a great job out there Josh." I said.

"Thank you, hope I can see you out there I heard you were on hell of an athlete doing flips and shit." I chuckled at him maintaining that eye contact with him god he was so fine and mesmerizing to see.

That's when we heard someone clear their throat behind us, completely forgetting that Carmelo was standing right there with his arms folded, looking at Jey and me. Meanwhile, Jonathan was behind us, knowing that he was protecting me away from him.

Shit both of them were.

"Can we talk in private Yasmine?" Carmelo asked.

"No, I don't wanna speak nor be around you Melo I gotta go home because I'm tired." I said as I felt Jey's hand around my waist.

"Nah it's because you're around this nigga, I told you; you better not find nobody else because you belong to me didn't I?" Jey came in front of me, standing in his face, staring down as they had a face-off with each other.

"She don't belong to nobody like she's some pet show some fucking respect." Jey said sternly.

Carmelo looked him up and down, scoffing before leaving out the gorilla, mouthing that I was going to get it whenever I was alone and not with them, but as long as they were around, he couldn't do a damn thing.

Jey turned around and faced me, signaling Jon that we needed some privacy alone, and that's what he did, leaving me and him alone.

"Thanks for sticking up for me, Josh. That really means a lot," I said, fiddling with my fingers.

"It's all good mama, ion know what's your history with him but he's toxic." Knowing damn well he knew that was your ex-boyfriend me and him walked towards his locker room as he shut the door behind us while I sat down on his couch.

My eyes followed his every move as he took off the gear that he had on; I looked away, scrolling through my socials, not trying to get caught by him.

"Did you drive here to work Yasmine?" He asked.

"Yeah, I did why? Did you want to take me home?"

"I did, actually, that's why I had to ask, but are you good being in here by yourself while I go take a shower?" I nodded my head as he left toward the restrooms, locking the door to make sure nobody came in.

I was on my phone waiting for Joshua to finish when I saw that Montez had texted me.

Big Bro Tez💪🏽 sent 2+ messages IMESSAGE 💬 Big Bro Tez💪🏽: where are you Minks? Big Bro Tez: lemme' know

I know that he's worried about be and my whereabouts but I was with Joshua I am safe.

Minnie🧃: I'm okay Montez I'm in Joshua's locker room right now. Big Bro Tez💪🏽: oh A'ight I was just making sure that's all Minnie🧃: he made sure to lock the door so nobody won't come in Big Bro Tez💪🏽: okay, then little sis I'll see you at home. Minnie🧃: kk

After texting Montez to let him know what was happening, I made sure I had my keys and purse with me. I've seen Jey coming in with some fresh new clothes on, along with his hair still being wet.

"Hey, I'm finna head home Josh." I spoke as he watched me get up from the couch.

"Lemme' walk you to your car then that way I could get to mines as well." Jey replied as I nodded my head while we both walked out the locker room together going towards the garage.

As we were walking down to the garage, I felt his gaze on me, as if he were admiring me. However, I didn't want to catch him in the act, so I just played it off.

He was so bad at hiding it, too, which made me snicker at him, causing him to raise an eyebrow at me. "What's so funny?" I looked up at him seeing his face being all serious.

"You're funny Joshua, not trying to get caught stealing glances at me or what?" I said in a teasing tone.

"Don't start with that teasing shit Yasmine." I rolled my eyes at him while sticking my tongue out at him.

"Or what? What are you goin' to do Josh?" I was tempting him right now as I could see that same smug expression on his face that he had earlier when we had this similar conversation—running his available hand down his beard.

I finally reached my car, opened the backseat, threw my purse inside, and shut the door.

I felt his hands on my hips turning me around as he cornered me keeping me in place, our faces were close to each other.

"You're honestly testing me Minks."

I shrugged my shoulders at him, folding my arms over my chest.

"What can I say sir, I love to test people's patience so they can fix it." I said boldly, grabbing his face and squeezing his cheeks, his hands slithering down my ass cheeks, squeezing them, causing me to yelp.

"What'chu want me to fix huh? That sassy ass attitude of yours?" Lord have mercy, his deep voice will be the death of me speaking to me like this. All of that confidence just went down the drain after he spoke up like that.

I glanced down at my feet while he gently raised my chin, his fingers brushing his thumb on my lips, and stared deeply at me.

"Don't got nun to say? What happened little mama?"

"Boy, fuck you and move so I can get in the car." He gave me a swat on the ass cheeks, holding them since he enjoys that stuff, me being all snarky towards him.

'I feel like me and his chemistry is there like so there.'

'But I remember what I told myself: don't be vulnerable around anybody or give in. With Joshua he seems so different from the rest.'

Joshua stays that way including eye contact with each other; he is quite patient with me and understanding especially where I am coming from during all of this.

"Fix that attitude."

"No, Josh moveeee." I whined

"Nah, c'mere princess." He scooped me up by the thighs placing me on the trunk of my car getting between my legs.

As he looked down at me with his hooded eyes and I looked up at him with my innocent ones, he was giving me a lot of anxiety right now. He licked his lips while glancing down at my lips and then back to my gaze.

I was unsure of his next move, but I could feel his stiff member between my legs as his hand brushed my cheek and lifted my chin.

"J-Josh...I want to take things slow...I want to get to know you more before anything..." I said softly.

"I understand mama ion' wanna pressure you into anything let's get to know each other a little better and be best friends." He said placing a kiss on my cheek.

This made me blush a little bit while looking away from him for a second. He chuckled at my cuteness before moving away from my legs.

He held his hand out as I took it, getting down from my trunk and fixing myself as he opened my door for me like a true gentleman.

When I got inside my car, he stood there, asking, "Am I going to see you tomorrow?" I nodded my head as he shut my door gently while I pushed the button to start the ignition.

Before I drove off towards the gate, I blew him a kiss. He was so charming, staring down at me like that, that I wondered what would have occurred if we had gone a little farther. I could feel his firm member between my legs, which made me realize he must have been packing.

Because of my commitment difficulties, I do not want to rush things since I am afraid he would cheat on me. Or, while we are currently great friends, find someone else. I began to obsess over it, wondering if Carmelo was correct. Although she is most likely saying it because it is her brother-in-law, I still want to trust what Trinity said.

I am not sure, but I will continue to protect my heart with this barrier.

SomeThing Bout' Us.

A/n: things between Yasmine and Jey are getting spicy right now but I'm glad that Jey is respecting her and him wanting to be best friends with her.

Carmelo ass finna be shitty when he finds out about them two being all over each other.

But I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments below.

Stay Ucey.

#jey uso #black writers #black fanfic writer #black oc #jey x oc black #wwelove #black reader #jey uso fanfiction #wwe fanfiction #jey uso smut

24 notes · View notes