#that's why I thought of this idea and just had to do this
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was i stupid to love you?
in which a lingering glance at Rossi’s wedding threatens your engagement.
content: angst, 4.8k, takes place right after truth or dare (14x15), a lot of dialogue, mention of prison arc, emotional distress, relationship conflict, not proofread a/n: when was the last time you saw me write angst? exactly. this is inspired by malcolm & marie bc i really like the idea of having an argument while moving around the house (also disclaimer i have nothing against JJ i just like being dramatic)
The lock clicks open. The door swings with a creak. Your heels tap against the hardwood in a hollow rhythm that feels almost too loud. There’s a tightness in your chest, that prickling behind your eyes, and a familiar ache pressing up from the pit of your stomach, churning into a faint nausea that you try to ignore. You’re trying to hold it back.
Not here.
Not now.
Spencer doesn’t even look up. The keys slip from his hand with a soft clink as they hit the side table, and he turns away with a quiet sigh that reverberates deep in your bones.
“Are you hungry?” he asks, tossing a glance toward the kitchen. “Think we could order something?”
You trail after him, the sharp click of your heels echoing as you step onto the kitchen tile. “We just came back from a wedding.”
He’s rifling through the cupboard, his fingers brushing over the mismatched mugs and neatly stacked plates before he pulls down two glasses. “I barely ate anything at the reception.”
You watch him, biting back a response as memories flicker to mind. The slice of cake he’d poked at absentmindedly, washing it down with sips of water instead of real food.
It wasn’t hunger he seemed focused on tonight. No, it was his quiet glances across the room you keep on catching from the corner of your eye, and that conversation he’d had at the bar. The one where his posture softened, his gaze so intent you’d found yourself staring at the back of his head, trying not to read too much into it—and obviously failing.
“Why didn’t you eat?”
He shrugs, his back still to you as he fills the glasses with water. “I don’t know,” he says, sounding almost absent, like it’s something he hasn’t really thought about. “I didn’t get around to it, I guess.”
The muscles in your jaw ticks as you bite the inside of your cheeks.
Spencer turns, offering you a glass. “I was thinking of Chinese, or maybe we can check if that Thai place you like is still open.”
You take the glass from him, barely sparing it a glance before setting it back down on the counter. “Whatever you want is fine.”
A subtle crease appears between his brows. “You sure? You usually have some opinion when it comes to food.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You don’t want to eat anything?”
You suppress a sigh. "No. I'm tired."
The soft amber of his eyes dims slightly as he studies you. There's a flicker of uncertainty passing through them before he nods. “Alright,” he concedes. “We don’t have to order anything.”
A faint, humorless laugh escapes you before you can stop it. It tastes bitter, a little unfair, but it slips out before you can pull it back, “You don’t have to change your plans on my account, Spencer.”
“I’m not changing any plans,” he responds. “I’m just making sure you have something to eat in case you’re hungry.”
Your shoes dig uncomfortably into your feet. You shift your weight, starting to pace a few steps back and forth. "It's dinner, you don't have to check on me for every little thing. Do whatever you like."
He blinks, looking genuinely perplexed. "What are you saying? I was trying to be considerate."
"Right. Considerate.”
There’s an unmistakable bite in your tone.
“Yes, because we like doing these things together," he observes, watching your uneasy pacing. "Am I missing something here?”
You shake your head. “Nope.”
"Honey."
The term of endearment lands softly, slipping from his lips like he believes it has the power to melt whatever tension has suddenly crept between you. But it only tightens the knot building in your stomach. It’s stirring the words you’re trying to hold back, tangling them somewhere between your chest and throat.
He calls your name this time, his eyes narrowing into sharp lines. “You’ve been awfully quiet on our way home, and now you’re… honestly, I don’t know why you're acting this way.” His voice dips with a tinge of exasperation. "What’s this really about?"
The words you’ve been biting back feel like a stack of stones in your throat, rising up, up, up, each one pressed tighter by the gnawing nausea in your stomach. You can feel them gathering, and before you know it, they tumble out messily.
“I’m just saying, don’t let me hold you back from getting what you want. I wouldn’t want to stop you from anything—or, god forbid," you add, letting your gaze drift away as if a little distance might soften the blow, “anyone.”
The soft, almost stifled inhale he takes is audible. You don’t even have to look up to see his expression shifting. You’ve known him long enough to recognize the way his shoulders tense, the way his breathing slows as he processes your words. You know his reaction by heart, yet right now, you wonder if saying this was a mistake, if this is the start of something neither of you can take back.
His fingers twitching at his side slip into your line of sight. He's angry.
Maybe this isn’t the time to start a fight.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Your heels click softly as you turn.
“Forget it. I shouldn't have said anything,” you mutter, already moving toward the bedroom that’s been yours, too, for the past year. Although it feels strange tonight, like a space that belongs to someone else. A life you’re not entirely sure you belong in.
“No." His voice is somewhere behind you. “I think you should explain to me what you mean by that.”
You don’t respond, choosing instead to sink onto the edge of the bed, hands fumbling as you try to undo the straps of your heels. You twist the stubborn leather with more force. His shadow fills the doorway.
“Honey.”
Not again.
You decide to ignore him.
“Is there something you’d like to say to me?”
You tug harder at the strap. “No.”
He doesn’t buy it. “You’re clearly bothered by something.”
You shake your head, fingers still fumbling, the leather cutting against your ankle with each pull. “I’m just tired. Can we leave it at that?”
There’s a flicker of frustration in his gaze now, a crease forming between his brows as he studies you. He moves into the room. You barely have the chance to react before he lowers himself, bending one knee to the floor as he reaches toward the strap you’ve been fighting with. “Here, let me—”
“Don’t,” you interrupt, pulling your foot away. “I can do it myself.”
“I know you can. But let me—”
“I can do it myself!”
Your heartbeat thuds loud in your ears, each pulse feeding the frustration that’s wound its way up from your chest. He rises slowly, not a word passing his lips, but the tension radiates off him like heat. He’s close enough that his warmth presses against your skin, although it’s not the kind you usually find comforting. It’s almost suffocating.
You turn your focus back to the stubborn strap, your fingers trembling slightly as you struggle to grip it. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch him slipping off his shoes, one after the other, the soft thuds barely audible over the rush of your own heartbeat. He pulls off his suit jacket, carefully smoothing the crumpled fabric before hanging it in the closet. For a moment, it seems like he’s going to let it go… until his gaze drifts back to you.
You can tell his patience is fraying, and you’re proven right when he asks again, “What did you mean by that? When you said you wouldn’t want to stop me from anyone… what was that supposed to mean?”
You finally manage to tug the strap loose. The heel drops to the floor with a muted thump. “It was nothing.”
“I don’t think you’d say something like that if it was nothing.”
Your focus shifts to the other shoe. “Just drop it, Spencer.”
"How am I supposed to drop it when you're implying... whatever it is you're implying?"
You keep your eyes down, wrestling with the strap in silence. He cuts through the quiet before it has a chance to grow.
“Don’t do that,” he says. “Don’t brush it off like it’s nothing when it clearly means something. I need to know why you said that.”
You kick off the other heel and meet his gaze for the first time since you walked into the room. “You really want to know?”
He reaches for his bow tie, yanking it loose it with one hard pull. “Do I want to know why you’re giving me this attitude right now? Yes. Yes, I do.”
Oh. So this is going to be that kind of fight.
You hadn’t expected it to go here. Fights with Spencer are very rare, usually more a clash of misunderstandings that you both laugh about with limbs tangled between sheets by the time you’ve made peace. But seeing him standing there with the tie hanging loosely around his neck and his five o’clock shadow casting an even darker line along his jaw, it hits you differently.
This is real. And this time, you don’t know if brushing it off will fix anything.
“Fine, let’s talk about it then.” You rise from the bed, tension carrying you to your feet. “Emily’s speech tonight.”
His brow furrows, not quite a scowl, more a cautious crease as he processes your tone. “Emily’s speech? What about it?”
“What do you remember of it?”
There’s a slight pause, and you can tell he's clearly caught off guard by the question. “She mentioned how Rossi and Krystal are twin flames."
“Right. Two souls that are always meant to be together.”
His face is still marked by confusion, but there’s something else creeping in. A subtle tightening around his eyes tells you he’s starting to piece it together. “I don’t understand what that has to do with—”
“You looked at JJ the second Emily made that speech,” you cut him off. “Spencer, you didn’t even spare a glance at your future wife because you were too busy making eyes at the woman who’s apparently been in love with you all these years.”
There. You said it. The words that have twisted around your insides all evening are finally out. And maybe they taste a little bitter, but at least they're not choking you anymore.
A second passes, then another, and by the time the fifth heartbeat ticks by, he’s standing there with his hand on his hip.
“That’s not what happened."
“Then what was it?” you demand. "I sat beside you the whole day, you didn't even try to hide it."
“That’s not—you’re twisting things.” His hand moves through his hair, fingers digging in as his curls tumble forward onto his forehead. “And you know what happened that night wasn’t real. It was a forced confession. She was under duress, we both were. JJ and I are just friends.”
You arch an eyebrow. “You look at all your friends like that?”
His hand drops to his side. "I don't know what else you want me to say. JJ said what she did because she thought we might die. She has a family, and a husband who she loves. We already went through this, I don't understand why this is suddenly an issue again."
“Maybe I wouldn’t be bringing this up if you didn’t look at her tonight like you were ready to break up that marriage yourself.”
A flash of shock and anger crosses his features.
“That’s not fair,” he snaps, his voice sharper than you’ve heard in a while. “Do you really think I’d disregard everything I have with you because of a look? Because of a history that has never gone anywhere?”
“I don’t know what to think. It's not like it happened just once, I saw you looking at her the same way at the bar." You step forward, accidentally kicking your discarded heel as you move. "What were you two talking about, anyway?”
He lets out a tight breath. “She was checking in on me. She… we haven’t talked much since then.”
The corners of your mouth pull down. “Mhm. Another round of truth or dare?”
“I can’t believe you’re using that against me." His hair flops forward as he shakes his head, falling messily over his brow. "If there were anything unresolved with JJ, I would’ve said something. But I didn’t, because there’s nothing there."
“And yet, she’s always been an important part of your life, hasn't she?"
He tilts his head. "What are trying to say now?"
Your tongue darts out, briefly brushing your lips. You're not sure you should say it, but it feels like a door has swung open—a door to words that have been waiting for their moment.
You take a slow, deep breath, filling your lungs with as much air as you can.
“When you were in prison, you put her on your visiting list ahead of almost everyone else. Doesn’t that say something about where she stands with you?”
He exhales sharply, dragging a hand over the back of his neck.
“She’s part of the team,” he says, as if he’s trying to spell out something he’s already explained a dozen times. "There were strict rules, I already told you that only a handful of people were allowed to visit. It wasn’t like I could just put anyone on the list.”
“But you could’ve put me on there!”
The familiar burn of tears prickles at the edges of your eyes, but you blink them back, refusing to let them fall. An explanation or protest is poised on his lips, but you’re already moving, closing the distance with a single, decisive step. A finger lands on his chest.
“I was your girlfriend, Spencer. Were you that determined to keep me out? Was the thought of seeing me really so unbearable? Do you even understand how hard it was to sit at home, knowing you were locked up, feeling completely helpless? Do you have any idea how much I hated myself day after day because I couldn’t do anything to help you?”
Your lips quiver. You feel like your heart is about to leap out of your throat.
“I was out here, just… waiting. Wondering if you were okay, if they were treating you alright, if you even had someone to talk to. And meanwhile, she’s there, with you. Every single time, she’s the one who gets to be by your side.”
Your nail digs into the fabric of his shirt.
“So forgive me if I can’t just let that go. Because when it mattered, it felt like you didn’t want me to be there for you. And now… now I don’t even know if you need me the way you seem to need her.”
Your breathing turns shallow, each inhale catching in your chest. The tears you’ve been holding back are dangerously blurring your vision. You swallow the knot lodged in your throat.
“I need a minute.”
Without another word, you turn and walk out of the room, leaving him standing there in stunned silence. You slip back into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as you finally reach for the glass of water that’s been sitting there untouched. You take a sip, barely feeling the cool water on your lips, when you hear his footsteps behind you.
“You think I don’t want you in my life?” he demands. “You think I somehow need her more than I need you?”
You set the glass down. “What part of ‘I need a minute’ do you not understand?”
“You really expect me to wait quietly after you unloaded every doubt you’ve ever had about us?”
You life your chin up. “Yes, I do. I need space to think right now.”
“What more do you want to think about when you’ve already convinced yourself that I’m always going to fall short? Is it so hard to believe that you’re the one I want?”
“You want to know why it’s so damn hard to believe?” You turn towards him. “Because every time I try to let this go, there’s always something. A confession. That—that not-so-subtle look. And when those things happen, it reminds me that I’m not as close to you as she is. I’m fucking tired of feeling like I’m fighting for space in your life.”
“Do you think I want you to feel like that? Do you think I’d go through everything we’ve been through if you didn’t matter to me?”
“Then explain to me why I wasn’t on that list!” you cry out. “Explain to me why, in one of the hardest times of your life, you couldn’t make space for me?”
“Because I was trying to protect you!”
A heavy, dreadful silence falls between you. He takes a step back, his eyelids fluttering shut briefly, and when he opens them again, there’s a softness in his gaze that mirrors the gentleness now threading through his voice.
“I know it probably doesn’t make sense to you, and maybe it never will, but I couldn’t stand the idea of you seeing me like that. Living through it was hard enough, but having you there, seeing me so helpless… It would have crushed me. I didn’t want that to be your memory of me.”
His Adam’s apple dips as he swallows, a quick, almost anxious movement you’ve witnessed countless times.
“And when JJ came to see me,” he continues, “the way the inmates looked at her, the things they said after she left… it was disgusting. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—let that happen to you. I couldn’t live with thought of you being subjected to that because of me.”
You lower your head with a sigh. “I don’t care if they looked. I don’t care what they would’ve thought.”
“But I care,” he fires back, taking a step forward. “Because you mean more to me than anyone. All I wanted was to keep you safe, and maybe I didn't handle it right, maybe I made the wrong call... but it was only because I—" His voice drops into an even more gentle note. "Because I love you."
Your heart stumbles, an uneven beat that feels almost bruised, pounding hard against your ribs.
"I-I love you so much. More than I know how to put into words." The ache in your chest sharpens as his hands come up to cup your cheeks. "I don't like fighting with you. I hate it, actually. I hate seeing you look at me like this."
You also hate the way he’s looking at you. There’s a depth to his annoyingly pretty eyes that makes it impossible to hold up your defenses without feeling them crumble. You let your eyes flutter closed.
“Why don’t we… call it a night?” He suggests. “Let’s lie down. We don’t have to talk about this now.”
The blackness behind your eyelids does little to quiet your mind. Nor does his voice. Or his touch. Instead of offering peace, his presence throws every glance, every moment of tension from tonight into sharper relief.
You draw in a breath, trying to find some comfort in his palms against your cheeks. Yet, even this can’t smooth away the doubt that’s settled in. With a resigned sigh, you release the breath you’ve been holding along with the words that have been pressing at the back of your throat.
“You haven’t explained it to me.”
The shadows in his gaze seem to deepen when you open your eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“We’ve been going in circles, but you haven’t explained to me what happened tonight,” you say quietly. “Why did you look at her, Spencer?”
His thumb absently strokes your cheek in a way that feels more hesitant than reassuring.
“Be honest with me,” you press. “Was there a part of you, even the tiniest part, that still wanted something with her? Some small part of you that… wondered what it might be like?”
The silence between you presses in from all sides, broken only by the faint hum of the refrigerator and the distant, muffled ticking of a clock on the wall. It’s the kind of quiet that sharpens even the smallest sounds, yet his lack of response feels like the loudest thing of all.
You pull back from him with an incredulous laugh.
“Unbelievable.” The word barely makes it past your lips, then louder as you start to move, pacing the length of the apartment. “Unbelievable.”
“Wait,” he says, trailing after you, “I didn’t even say anything.”
You stop short by the couch and whip around to face him.
“You didn’t need to! You—you hesitated," you stammer, searching his face for any flicker of denial, but it’s there, plain as day, that split-second of doubt you caught. “That was already an answer.”
He inches closer. A hand closes in on you. “Please—”
You flinch, pulling back, and every muscle in your body tightens. “Don’t. Don’t touch me right now.”
His hand falls to his side. “Please… let me explain."
You watch his hand drop, fingers twitching like they’re not sure if they should retreat or reach out again, but he keeps them there, hovering in some invisible line you’ve drawn. He looks at you with those big, pleading eyes, and for a split second, you almost feel bad for him.
Almost.
A bitter sort of smile tugs at the corner of your mouth. "So now you want to explain?"
He takes that as permission, and his voice comes in low, almost cautious. "When I first started at the BAU, I had… maybe a crush. A passing thing, barely anything, really. But that was fourteen years ago.” His hand scrubs through his hair in a frustrated sweep. “Fourteen years."
Your brows pull into a frown. “Why am I only hearing about this now?”
“Because it was nothing,” he says, almost too quickly. “I was young, it didn’t matter. I didn’t think it was worth bringing up.”
“Oh, I get it now. All those old feelings came rushing back the night she confessed, didn’t they?”
He mirrors your frown, a visible line of tension etching itself between his brows as he protests, “It’s nothing like that.”
“Then what is it?” you press. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks a whole lot like you’re caught between us because some part of you is still hung up on what might’ve been with her."
He shifts uncomfortably, and you notice the muscles in his jaw clenching the moment his gaze falters, dipping away for just a heartbeat before he looks back at you.
“It’s not that I don’t know what I want,” he starts to explain. “I didn’t expect her to say those things, and, yes, it threw me off for a moment. But that doesn’t mean I’m looking back, or that I want her. I want you.”
You shake your head, feeling a tired sort of frustration settle over you, and walk over to the couch. The soft cushions give slightly beneath you as you sink down.
“If you really wanted me, this wouldn’t be happening. You wouldn’t have let her get into your head like that. And now, you expect to believe that none of it meant anything?”
He’s quick to follow, closing the distance in a few tense steps. “It’s not—” His hands flex open and close at his sides. “You’re acting like one single look tonight is enough to decide I’m not committed to you. Do you really think I’d let some confession I didn’t even ask for get in the way of what we have?”
“It’s not just about that single look. It’s the way she could say something and suddenly, you’re pulled back to something you swore you’d put behind you. How am I supposed to feel secure when she still has that power over you?”
“And what am I supposed to do, then? Apologize for things I don’t even feel anymore?”
You flinch at the sharpness in his voice. A low, frustrated noise rumbles in his chest when you don’t respond.
“You’re always going to question me no matter what I say, aren’t you?"
You glance over at him, catching the disheveled strands of hair falling over his forehead, and it pulls you back to that night he came home after that dreadful night. He’d walked in looking worn in a way you’d never seen before, his whole posture weighted down as if he was carrying more than just the fear of being held hostage.
You remember sitting with him on this same couch, fingers brushing his, and asking what was bothering him.
JJ said she loved me.
Your heart lurched, a quick, quiet ache that you tried to swallow down. Really?
Don’t worry. It’s not true.
But with that same haunted look in his eyes right now, you can’t help but wonder if it really was just a well-intentioned lie.
“One glance and you’re accusing me of things that are never going to happen,” he starts again. “Do you really think so little of me? After everything we’ve shared, you really think I’d betray you like that?”
In true honesty, you don’t believe he would ever cross that line. But the doubts still linger, fed by those small hesitations, the moments when his eyes seem somewhere else. It’s not that you think he’d betray you. It’s that a part of him might still be holding onto something he won’t let you see.
“It’s like you don’t know me at all.”
Now those words you might actually believe.
“Maybe I don’t,” you say quietly, eyes drifting to the ring on your finger. You twist it absently, remembering the night he proposed. How he’d stumbled over his words, his cheeks flushing as he tried to make the moment perfect but ended up rambling in that endearing, nervous way of his. You’d laughed, reassured him that it was exactly right, that you didn’t need grand gestures. All you needed was him.
And yet, you don’t think he needs you as much you need him.
A hollow ache settles around your hand as you slip the ring off.
“What are you doing?”
You stare down at the gold band in your palm, blinking back the sting of tears.
“Tell me what you’re doing.”
Panic. Desperation. There’s a sudden rush of melancholy in his voice, a heaviness that wasn’t there a moment ago.
You swallow the lump in your throat. “I don’t know,” you whisper. “I—I don’t know anything right now.”
His face crumples, and in a sudden, almost instinctive movement, he drops down to his knees.
“No, no, you do know me. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. Isn’t this—” he stops, then dips his head, trying to catch your gaze. “Isn’t that what couples do? They argue, they mess things up… but they work through it, right? Right?”
You look down, feeling the cool weight of the ring pressing into your skin.
“Spencer…” you begin. “I trust you. I do, and I’m sorry if I made it seem like I didn’t. But… I need to feel secure. I… I need to know that I don’t have to wonder or worry about where I stand. I never thought you’d be the one to make me doubt that.”
There’s a sharp ache in your chest.
“I didn’t think it could hurt this much. Not from you.”
Your pulse ring in your ear.
“I can’t—” The words catch in your throat, a stinging burn rising as you force them out. “I can’t be your wife when I’m constantly questioning if I have all of you. When I feel like… there’s always a part of you that isn’t mine.”
“I’m yours, honey. I’m always yours.”
“I wish I could believe that.”
There’s a slight falter in his voice. “Don’t—please don’t do this—”
“I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t hurt.”
He falls silent, and for a moment, the only sound is the rough, uneven rhythm of both your breaths filling the space between you. Then, like something inside him finally cracks open, he sinks down, pressing his forehead against your lap. The sudden weight of him forces a broken sob from your throat.
“Please,” he begs, fingers clutching at your sides. His chin presses deep into your thigh. “Tell me how to fix this. I can’t— I can’t lose you.”
“Spence…”
“I love you,” he blurts out, the words tumbling from him in a rush. “I love you.”
But what is love, really? Is it just a word people reach for when they’ve run out of things to say, a way to patch over bruised hearts and broken promises? Or should it feel like something more solid, something that doesn’t leave you questioning or aching? You can’t even tell anymore.
You wonder, too, if maybe you’ve been wrong all along. If this feeling in your chest isn’t love but something dressed up as it, something that fills the gaps while slowly hollowing you out. Because here you are, clinging to a love that somehow makes you feel like you’re both needed and unseen. Everything and nothing all at once.
You feel like a fool.
“I want to go to bed.”
His head lifts from your lap, a flash of surprise darting across his face, as though he hadn’t expected you to say anything at all, let alone that. “Yeah, okay, let’s go to bed. We’ll… we’ll figure this out in the morning.”
“I’d rather be alone.”
The words hit him visibly. His mouth opens, an argument forming there, but he catches himself, letting the silence stretch before he nods slowly.
“Then… I’ll stay out here. On the couch,” he offers softly. “Just… in case you need anything.”
A pang cuts through you at the thought of him stretched out on the couch, his legs too long, his shoulders folded in to fit the cramped space. But the idea of sharing a bed right now feels impossible.
You reach down, holding out the ring towards him.
“No,” he says firmly, gently pushing your hand away. “Don’t do that. This… it doesn’t mean we’re giving up. It just means we need time. That’s all.”
You’re not sure if your mind will change in the morning. The ring presses into your skin, but finally, you close your hand around it, nodding faintly before you peel away from him.
The tears start the moment the bedroom door clicks shut behind you. It spills over in a jagged, helpless cry that sounds nothing like you imagined heartbreak might sound. It’s messy, a kind of aching grief that feels too big for your chest, clawing its way out with no grace at all. You can practically hear how pathetic you sound, and yet you can’t seem to stop.
Even when the hem of your dress trails across the floor. Even when you finally collapse onto his side of the bed. There’s no stopping you. With the ring sitting cold in your hand, your tears keep coming, soaking into the pillow as you cling to the last trace of him woven into the sheets.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x female reader#spencer reid fem!reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#angst#angst with no happy ending
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same book, different chapters
synopsis: an ordinary evening takes a turn when katsuki expresses what you've always known but never expected to hear.
pairing: timeskip!bakugou katsuki x f!reader
being with katsuki is a lesson in unspoken understanding. you knew who he is long before you started dating him—loud, brash, and not the type to share his feelings openly.
but it didn’t take long to realize there’s so much more to him than that. his love is quiet, reserved, and shown in the details:
how he pulls you out of the way of a passing car, or how he remembers the smallest things, like your favorite kind of tea or that you prefer your coffee without sugar.
and that is enough for you. mostly.
you didn’t expect him to be the kind of boyfriend who says "I love you" with ease. katsuki isn’t like that. it isn’t something you hold against him either.
but every now and then, a small part of you wonders what it would be like to hear him say it—to hear those three words slip past his lips in the same way they had from yours.
you say it first, a quiet “I love you” in the middle of a peaceful night when the world outside feels still.
his response comes in the shape of hugging you tighter, securing you in his arms. however, he doesn’t say it back, and you don’t expect him to. you don’t need him to.
still, there are times when you find yourself holding your breath, wondering if one day he’ll actually verbalize it.
it isn’t that you doubt his feelings. katsuki isn’t one to waste time on things or people he doesn’t care about.
you know how much he cares by the way he silently takes care of you, always putting you first in his own way, even when his words are rough around the edges.
it’s just that sometimes, words have a way of making things feel more real.
tonight is one of those easy evenings you cherish—one where you don’t have to think too much about anything. the two of you are in your kitchen, making dinner together, though “together” is generous.
you’re doing most of the work while katsuki stands next to you, arms crossed, casting a critical eye over everything you do.
“you’re putting too much salt,” he says, the frown on his face making you smile.
“pretty sure this is the exact amount the recipe says to use,” you reply, amused at how serious he always gets when it comes to food.
“tch, that recipe’s wrong. I could’ve made this better with my eyes closed.”
“then why don’t you?” you tease, turning your head to glance at him. his gaze is sharp as usual, but the small curve in the corner of his lips betrays him.
“maybe I’ll cook next time,” he grumbles, looking away like the very idea of giving in bothers him.
you laugh softly, enjoying the banter. this is something you love about him—how even in these simple moments, his presence fills the space with a sense of ease.
there’s no pressure to be anything other than yourselves, even when his blunt honesty clashes with your more relaxed approach.
as you stir the pot, you can’t help but let your thoughts wander back to the three words. you know katsuki isn’t the type to say things until he’s ready, and you respect that.
but part of you is curious—would it ever come naturally to him, or would it always be something unspoken between the two of you?
still, as you stand there, the warmth of his steady presence beside you, you realize that maybe you’re okay with it remaining unspoken. katsuki shows his love in ways that don’t need words to validate them.
and then, without warning, you feel his arms wrap around your waist from behind, his chin resting on your shoulder. you freeze for a moment, caught off-guard.
“katsuki?” you ask, your voice soft, as you lean into him instinctively.
he doesn’t answer right away, just holds you there. his touch isn’t hesitant, but it is different from the usual casual touches you’ve grown used to.
“you’re annoying sometimes,” he mutters, voice low in your ear.
you chuckle, relaxing further into his hold. “I know.”
there’s silence for a beat, and then: “but I love you anyway, idiot.”
you blink, unsure if you’ve heard him correctly. you turn your head slightly, trying to see his face, but he buries it against your neck, hiding his expression. “did you just—?”
“don’t make a big deal out of it,” he mumbles, voice suddenly gruff, though you can hear the embarrassment beneath the words.
a smile breaks across your face, warmth spreading through your chest. you didn’t expect it, but that makes it all the more special. he isn’t saying it because the moment demands it.
he isn’t saying it because you’re waiting. he says it because he wants to, because he feels it.
“I’m not,” you reply, trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably as your happiness bubbles up in your voice. “but…I love you too.”
you feel his grip tighten around you and a kiss pressed to your shoulder.
kofi — navigation — masterlist
do not copy, translate, or plagarize
#bakugou katsuki x reader#bnha x reader#bakugou katsuki x you#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you#mha x y/n#bakugou x y/n#bakugo x female reader#bakugo x reader#bakugo x y/n#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugou x fem!reader#katsuki bakugou x you#katsuki x you#katsuki x reader#katsuki x y/n#bnha x you#bnha x y/n#bnha x fem!reader#mha x reader
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my baby | l.n.
synopsis: in which you bring your son to his daddy’s first ever race
a/n: based on this request!! i changed things up a little and only made it fluffy, hope you like it!!
my masterlist
Ever since your son was born, you and Lando had had multiple talks regarding exposing him to the world and bringing him to the paddock.
He was still so little, being only a few months old, so there was a lot of discussion between the two of you about when would be a good time to finally introduce your son to that part of Lando’s life.
You debated a lot about firstly which race would be the best one for him to attend, finally settling on Silverstone. It was a very special race for the both of you, it was Lando’s favorite race weekend, his whole family would be coming and would be able to eagerly help, should any situations arise during the weekend, you were close to your UK home.
It was honestly the best decision in that aspect.
McLaren had been so kind as to send you some little T-shirts with Lando’s name and number on the back, some headphones so you could protect Noah’s ears. He was all ready to go, all clad in his papaya shirt and little cap.
However, as much as Lando had been looking forward to finally having the both of you in the paddock since Noah’s birth, he was suddenly feeling more anxious as you’re about to leave the house and go to the track.
You noticed the frown he had on his face and how deep in thought he seemed to be, walking over to him with Noah right on your hip, sucking on his pacifier in silence.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” you asked him, putting a hand on his shoulder and rubbing it affectionately.
“You agree this is a good idea, right? We’re not rushing him into this, it’s completely okay and safe to bring him with us” he asked, looking at you with worried eyes.
Looking at him so desperate for reassurance, you remember your first days as a new mom, worrying about every single thing that Noah would do, what you should do with him and what you shouldn’t, calling your mother and Lando’s mother every half an hour with another question.
It’s normal for new parents to be anxious, and Lando was now feeling the protectiveness that came with having a baby of your own and bringing him out into the world.
“Baby, we’ve talked about this. We have it all figured out. Your family is going to be there if anything does happen, we have your whole team there who are more than eager to help with anything. We’ll be fine, this little guy will have the time of his life” you said, smiling at the quiet boy in your arms and bouncing him in your arms, chuckling alongside Noah as he started to giggle and wave his arms in the air.
Lando smiled, looking at Noah like he was the center of his universe, like nothing could ever measure up to how much love he had for his son.
He was ready, so there was no reason why Lando shouldn’t be ready. After all, he had you by his side.
He didn’t need anything else if he had you.
“Alright, let’s get going then” he declared, sitting up and taking Noah’s bag from you, determined to carry everything to the car by himself.
You chuckled, shaking your head as you adjusted little Noah on your hip.
“Let’s go and bring daddy some good luck, shall we?” you cooed at Noah, admiring his little smile and clap when he heard the word “daddy” in a sentence.
Such a daddy’s boy.
♡♡♡♡♡
“Do you want me to turn the car around and just take you guys home? I’m sure nobody would mind” Lando said as soon as he parked the car in his designated spot.
You looked at him confused.
“Why? Did something happen?” you asked, keeping an eye on Noah who was currently too busy playing with his feet to pay attention to the two of you.
Lando sighed, resting his head against the seat and closing his eyes.
“I just think we’re rushing into it. He’s still young and I’m worried that something could happen to him while I’m in the car” he confessed, and you let out a knowing sigh.
“I know you’re stressed out and worried, but you have nothing to worry about. I’m going to be with him the entire time and your entire family is going to be with me. He literally can’t be more taken care of” you said, joking a little at the end to help him breathe a little.
Lando smiled, chuckling a little before twisting around to look at you in the backseat.
His eyes naturally gravitated towards Noah, who was happily playing with his McLaren teddy bear the team had gifted Lando when Noah was born.
“Sometimes I wish we could keep him away from all of this for the rest of his life” he said, his eyes focused on his son.
"I know, but right now, you don't have to worry about him. You know I won't let him out of my sight" you said, making Lando smile at the thought of you going all mama bear on your son.
"Alright then, off we go" Lando unbuckled his seatbelt, exiting the car and opening your door for you.
He made quick work to grab the diaper bag and all of his essentials while you lifted Noah up from his car seat and settled him on your hip, cooing at the smiley little boy.
"Ready?" Lando asked as he came to stand next to you, putting his arm on the small of your back and leaning down to press a kiss on Noah's head.
"Are you ready to see dada race?" you cooed at Noah, tickling his tummy lightly, which prompted him to burst into giggles.
“My lucky charms” Lando whispered, looking at the two of you with so much love.
He truly couldn’t have asked for anything better in his life. The trophies, the wins, the losses, they didn’t compare to this. To you, to your son, nothing could ever compete with how much Lando cared for his family.
As you started walking towards the paddock entrance, your passes clutched in Lando’s hand, you kept Noah close to you, trying to shield his face from the cameras as best as you could.
You softly maneuvered his head so his face was buried into the crook of your neck, which Noah immediately complied with because he loved it when you held him close.
“I’ll do my best to hold them off” Lando whispered as he scanned your passes and already noticed the hoard of paparazzis that were waiting for him to arrive.
You nodded, smiling politely at the cameramen as Lando quickly walked with you towards the McLaren hospitality.
Clicks and flashes could be heard all around you, every single one trying to get a glimpse of your baby boy, but Lando was having none of it.
“Lando! Over here!”
“Is that your son?”
“Can we see him? Just a picture”
Every single word fell on deaf ears as Lando continued to lead the three of you away from them, thankful when the shouts ceased and there was nobody around you anymore.
“They sure know how to try and get what they want” you said, letting out a big breath that you hadn’t realized you had been holding in.
“It’s an invasion of privacy, they should have some respect, especially when they can see I’m with my family” he grumbled, his jaw muscles clenched.
You slowed down your walk until you came to a halt, resting your hand against his cheek.
“Hey, we’re okay. Calm down, we’re both fine, okay?” you said, waiting for an answer as Noah started squirming in your arms.
“Yeah, I’m good” Lando replied after finally feeling himself calm down a tad, resuming your walk towards the hospitality.
When you arrived and entered the building, the first thing that you saw was Lando’s family eagerly chatting amongst themselves, clearly waiting for the 3 of you to finally arrive.
You didn’t even get to think about anything before Noah was taken from your arms by Lando’s sister, Flo, cooing at him and beaming at the smiley boy.
There was nothing more pure and warming than seeing the bond between Lando’s family and your son. He was also the first grandchild on your side of the family, so that little boy was as spoiled as one could be.
“How are you doing, dear?” Cisca snapped you out of your thoughts as she came to stand next to you, Lando having gone to his driver’s room to unpack his things.
“I’m okay, a little tired from the jet-lag, but doing alright. A little nervous to have Noah here with me, but you all being here puts mine and Lando’s mind more at ease” you said, giving your mother-in-law a side hug.
“Was he terrible when you were talking about coming with Noah?” she asked, smiling knowingly.
You laughed, shaking your head affectionately at how well she knew Lando.
“He freaked out about 4 times before we even got out of the car” you said, making the woman laugh.
Lando emerged into the room again, immediately frowning once he saw that Noah was still not back in your arms.
Both you and Cisca watched as his eyes searched the entire room for him, finally settling on the boy happily babbling to his auntie Flo, Lando immediately going over to them.
And as you all sat there with each other, both you and Lando realized what a great support system you had and what a perfect family you have built together.
His win, of course, only solidifying his saying that you were both “his lucky charms”.
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corroded | [corrode • \kuh-ROHD\ • verb. 1 : to eat away by degrees as if by gnawing] | eddie has made it a personal goal to hook up with at least one fan after every concert. and when his band winds up in the podunk known as hawkins, indiana, he decides his target for the night is the pretty little doll in the front row with the hottest ‘fuck me’ eyes he’s ever seen.
⚠️ 2.4k words, fem!reader, rockstar!eddie, groupie!reader, eddie has a relationship fetish, cheating/adultery (again, fantasy, pls don’t do this fr), oral (m!receiving), dirty talk, language, jerk!eddie (srsly…), sex with a stranger, semi public sex, one night stand, possessive!eddie, hints of a corruption kink, riding/cowgirl to doggystyle, squirting, themes of slight coercion (but later enthusiastic consent), porn with literally no plot
💋 i had a brain bug.
eddie almost missed the solo on the final song, fingers nearly scrambling to maintain the tune.
gareth had side-eyed him, but eddie couldn’t be blamed, could he? after all, he had the most delicious eye candy feet away from him, standing pretty in the front row and peering up at him as if he were god himself.
any man would be distracted.
that’s why eddie simply shrugged off gareth’s seethed “what the fuck, man?” as they trudged off the stage together, a multitude of hands reaching out to touch their arms, shoulders; any piece of body they could. the crowd split like a sea to let them through, something that never failed to give eddie a head rush.
he was so wanted it was dizzying.
the yells and cheers were still lively even as eddie shut himself inside the v.i.p room, the clamor only slightly muffled by the thin walls and rickety door. eddie never really stayed behind to mingle with the fans like gareth did. the only exception to that was when he was trying to charm his way into a pretty girl’s skirt.
that was usually every concert, though tonight he couldn’t say he was much in the mood for perusing the gaggle of women in the crowd; not when your pretty face was plastered to the back of his eyelids, those gorgeous, gorgeous eyes begging him to notice you.
eddie wondered if the man gripping your waist even noticed the way you fucked him with your eyes. the thought of it made his chest swell with something.
god, how amazing it would be to take you to the tour bus for a “private tour”, only to fuck you senseless while your boyfriend waits with the crowd.
it wouldn’t be the first time eddie had done that, and he was itching to do it again. maybe after he finished with the highly-advertised backstage passes he could seek you out — with the way you’d been looking at him, he had a good feeling he’d be able to find you pretty easily.
eddie blew out a huff of air and scrutinized the v.i.p room, where the backstage meetings were meant to be held — yellowing walls, stained ceiling, a foggy, cracked mirror on the wall above a rickety-esque vanity and two couches that looked as if they’d been passed down through at least three generations.
damn, the hideout was truly a shit-hole. if eddie were being frank, hawkins itself was a shit-hole; a place he’d never even heard of until a week ago when the manager of this stiffydink begged him to play at his concert hall.
the owner was probably bursting into tears right now ; eddie was fairly certain that tonight’s overstuffed crowd was the biggest this place had ever seen.
a knock at the door pulled eddie from his criticism — it creaked open just as eddie whipped around to see who was entering, and what he saw made him grin.
gareth holding open the door with none other than you standing there, looking nervous and so, so fuckable.
“first backstage of the night,” gareth explained, “the lucky number one winner of the raffle.”
ah, eddie had forgotten about the raffle. an ingenious idea cooked up by owner — ‘for a mere ten dollars, enter your name for a chance to win the lucky pass!’
the quote on quote ‘lucky pass’ wasn’t much different from a regular pass, except for the fact that it allotted fans to spend forty-five minutes backstage with their idols rather than the customary twenty.
eddie had actually been dreading that, imagining how boring it would be to be stuck with some punky wanna-be metalhead for almost an hour — but the lucky pass was somehow given to you, as if the stars had all aligned just for eddie.
so eddie had forty-five minutes to get between your cute legs? oh, yeah. he could definitely manage that.
🎸⚡️🦇🎸⚡️🦇🎸⚡️🦇🎸⚡️🦇🎸⚡️🦇🎸⚡️🦇🎸⚡️🦇
it took twelve minutes.
twelve whole minutes of working his silver tongue and buttering you up — had you been any other girl, eddie would have written you off as a failed mission after five minutes, but fuck, he wanted you.
with your perfect body, angelic voice, and brilliant ‘fuck me’ eyes. eddie wanted it all. and his uncle always told him that if he pushed through and persevered, he’d always get what he wanted.
and, shit, he’s so glad he persevered — because now those doe eyes were looking up at him, hazy and fucked out, and those plump lips were wrapped so prettily around his cock.
and he was fucking into the hottest, tightest fuckin’ throat he’d ever felt, and you were taking it as if it was god’s gift to man.
“fuck, pretty girl. look at you.” eddie cooed, entranced by the tears dancing in your eyes as you gagged over the girth of his thrusting cock. “taking it like such a good girl.”
your throat vibrated with muted moans, plump thighs clenching and unclenching beneath you — fuck, you were desperate, probably fantasizing about him blowing a load inside your aching pussy.
eddie couldn’t help the way his cock kicked up at that — he’d cum in all your pretty little holes if he had chance to do so. but it was going on fifteen minutes, and eddie needed to speed this whole thing up and get to the good part already if he wanted make good time.
eddie gripped a fistful of your hair and pulled you off of his cock, nearly groaning when a whine slipped from your wet, swollen lips. like him taking his cock from you was equivalent to chopping off a limb.
such a desperate, perfect fuck toy.
“get the fuck up here and sit on it,” eddie growled, hoisting you up when you staggered to get up yourself. the couch groaned beneath your weight when you sat yourself on his thighs, soft hand gripping his dick and guiding it underneath your tight skirt.
“so fuckin’ wet.” eddie hissed as you sunk your hips down slowly, sweet moans falling from your mouth and kickstarting his lust.
it didn’t take you long to seat yourself fully on him, cunt twitching and fluttering around his cock and pulling a deep groan from his throat.
you felt fuckin’ amazing. quite possibly the best pussy he’s ever been in.
“shit, yeah. ride it. c’mon, fuckin’ ride it.” eddie demanded huskily, gripping your ass harshly with both hands and grinding your body over his.
the whimpers, moans and whines that fell from you were a ballad to him, a staccato of pleasure that told him exactly how good his cock made you feel — how fuckin’ dumb you were going on it, hips bouncing in an uneven yet desperate rhythm.
eddie was more than happy to help you out; his ringed hands gripped your ass and pushed you up and down, leaning his head back at the pure heaven that was your sloppy pussy.
god, you were perfect in every way. so malleable in his hands, obeying his every order, gazing at him with those fucked out eyes just begging for more.
fucking groupies would always be the best sex, especially those who were already claimed by another man.
“does your boyfriend fuck you like this, baby?” eddie pressed, cock stiffening even more inside you at his own reminder of your taken status. “does he mess you up like this with his cock?”
you shook your head and whined, pussy squelching with every thrust of his cock, juices soaking straight into the worn couch. eddie growled and (somewhat reluctantly) pulled a hand from your ass and brought it up to grip your throat.
oh, how sweet it felt against his fingers — he could so easily crush it, rob you of your air supply until you passed out right on his cock.
“answer me properly.” eddie demanded, “tell me how much better i am.” he needed to hear it straight from that pretty little mouth.
“you’re - you’re so mu-much better!” you cried out, thighs squeezing around his and moans picking up in frequency.
eddie’s made enough girls cream on his cock to know what that meant.
“mmm, fuck yeah. like the way this cock fucks you, huh?” you nodded feverishly, eyes barely held open and leaking with tears. your expression made something swell inside him, and eddie did something he hadn’t done in a really, really long time.
he pulled you down to lock his lips with yours.
nothing about it was sweet, or sensual — all eddie wanted to do was dominate you completely, fuck you up in so many ways that you’d never be able to recover from it.
eddie wanted to brand himself to you with such permanence that you’d never be able to fuck another person without comparing them to him.
just as he had with every girl before you.
that’s why he shoved his tongue into your mouth and practically fucked it in, licking at your cheeks, teeth, tongue — every fuckin’ inch he could. eddie would taste and own it all.
and god, eddie nearly lost it when you reciprocated, when you suckled on his tongue and prodded it with your own, spit dripping down both of your chins. so messy and hot.
just as he loved it.
“fuck,” he pulled away and growled, the need to simply fuck you into oblivion and fuck up your pretty little head searing through him and prompting him to halt your movements. “on your hands and knees, angel. i wanna fuck that little cunt from behind.”
the moan you let out was simply pornographic, long and drawn out and needy, and you scurried to lift yourself off of him and scamper onto your knees.
eddie stood, cock still hard and leaking, glistening with your juices, and manhandled your hands to the back of the couch because you were taking far too long.
“grip it, baby, you’re gon’a need to.” eddie husked as he shoved your skirt down your thighs, one hand bruising your hip and the other guiding his cock to your slit. he didn’t really wait to see if you had followed his guidance or not, and simply thrusted himself in and set a brutal pace.
slaps, moans, groans, squelches, and every other erotic fuckin’ noise he could think of resounded around the room, the smell of sex, faint tobacco, and floral perfume clogging his nose.
god, how eddie fuckin’ loved that shit.
“such a pretty lil’ cunt,” eddie growled, hips faltering as that familiar heat built in his gut. you looked so sexy, back on full display and ass jiggling with every slap of his hips against it; he definitely wouldn’t last much longer in this position. “takes my cock like it was made f’it.”
“hah, please, please!” your voice was absolutely wrecked, croaky and wet but no less angelic, body rocking with every harsh pump of his hips. “‘m so close, eddie!”
“fuck, i fuckin’ know,” eddie groaned, fingernails digging into your skin through your thin shirt. “i feel you fuckin’ fluttering, angel.”
he’d never fucked anyone quite so sensitive and responsive, and it was going straight to his head; the way you rocked your hips back against him, the way your walls clenched around him, those sweet, sweet moans — you were addictive.
and to think you had a man waiting for you. a man who was completely oblivious to the way eddie was rearranging your guts right now.
“shit,” eddie hissed when his balls jerked, signaling his impending bust. it was coming much faster than he expected, but he wasn’t a total jerk — he’d make you cum first.
with rather desperate movements eddie slid a hand between your thighs and located your clit easily — he rubbed it with harsh, accurate movements, with the sole intent of making you absolutely cream on him as soon as possible.
it was a double edged sword, he realized too late — sweet, delectable moans fell from your lips, broken up by delicious pleas.
“oh, oh, yes, i’m g-gonna cum! please, please, make me cum—”
“fuck, yeah, shut up.” eddie hissed, sucking in a sharp breath to halt the build up he felt in his gut; if you kept doing that, he wouldn’t get to finish you first. “‘m gon’a make you cum, just hold on.”
to eddie’s relief (and intense arousal) you followed his command to a tee, even going so far as to bite your lip to further muffle your moans. you were so fuckin’ obedient, taking his cock like you knew it was your place to do so.
pliant and corruptible. eddie’s favorite kind of girl. jesus, you were a dream wrapped in perfect skin.
“fuck, baby, c’mon, cum f’me.” eddie snarled, hips pistoning at a brutal pace that he matched with his fingers.
the fluttering of your walls was becoming much more frequent and there was a foamy ring at the base of his cock — you were right fuckin’ there.
“mmm, hah, fuck, oh my god! coming!” you squealed as your back arched, and eddie lost it when fluid gushed straight from your cunt and soaked his thighs.
“a fuckin’ squirter,” eddie gasped out, eyes nearly rolling back in his head. “fuckin’ hot. so perfect. shit. gon’a fuckin’—”
eddie pumped his hips a few more times, burying himself inside your wet cunt until he was just about to burst, then pulled out and stroked his cock harshly.
eddie released a long, loud groan as his balls tightened and his cock throbbed, ropes of cum shooting from his tip and splattering against the plump flesh of your ass.
eddie watched with lidded eyes as he painted your skin with his seed, a rush of possessiveness circulating through his electrified veins and settling comfortably into his chest. you were an absolute mess, a mixture of his juices and your own dripping down your thighs.
a vision of wrecked, corroded perfection.
eddie let out a satisfied sigh and squeezed the few remaining drops of cum from his tip, wiping it along the material of your skirt. a bit more marking wouldn’t hurt, he mused.
eddie tucked his softening cock back into his pants as you slowly turned around and slipped off the couch — your movements were a bit clipped and sluggish, and eddie couldn’t help but feel a surge of fresh arousal from it.
he must have fucked you damn good.
“get yourself cleaned up, sweets.” eddie murmured, glancing at his watch and smirking. “you’ve got about nine minutes to make it look like you weren’t just fucked senseless. wouldn’t want your boyfriend to find out, yeah?”
god, how eddie faintly wished your boyfriend would.
#ⳋ᧙.#eddie munson x reader#stranger things x reader#stranger things x y/n#stranger things x you#eddie munson x you#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x y/n
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Yep. Yeah. That's me. Almost all of it, except, i sleep well (if i manage to fall asleep) Reblogging because maybe some of you didn't know (i also didn't know)
Story time!
Too long don't read: used to sleep on private math lessons because i hate math; it takes hours for me to fall asleep WHEN I SUPPOSED TO, and my sister does it in 3-5 minutes.
I was studying at university and we had MATH there I've always had problems with it. since 5th grade i think (well, i hated math before too but real problems started there) when i changed schools and the new class was behind what I've already studied and i didn't pay attention, until i realized that at some point I was behind. I said "welp, i guess it's to late to try, so fuck it"
So at university we had this very high level math and i just couldn't understand a thing (and we had an awful teacher who was saying evvvvery time something like "yall getting expelled, we're all gonna die") so i decided "if i don't understand, fuck it then, i will not even try" and started skipping math classes.
But i STILL had to pass an exam, we were getting 3 tries and if you fail you're getting expelled. I failed first two what a surprise (i don't know how i managed to pass it after all, i can't remember SHIT, only that i is fucking non-existing number which is square root of -1. Why on earth would you need it i have NO fucking clue.
So i had personal teachers who tried to make me understand at least something to pass the exam. And there was one i remember very well, i even remember that we paid her 10$ per hour (for us that was quite a lot). And i remember her because i was SLEEPING. I just COULDN'T keep my eyes opened. She explains something about deviding by zero and my brain draws the fucking universe collapsing in front of my eyes. She gives me some task, I'm trying to write something and I'm falling asleep and DREAMING about writing, then ahe wakes me up and i see that i didn't write SHIT. It all ended when in the middle of lesson she just kicked me out.
And, what a miracle, I'm leaving her apartments and suddenly, all the sleepiness just wanishes! I'm walking home, thinking about some another AU of mine, roleplaying it with myself in my head, full of energy again.
That's not the only case of this, but it's the strongest i ever felt. But that like happens all the time, EVEN WHEN MY MOM OR MY GRANNY COMES TO ME AND START TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING I'M NOT INTERESTED, IM YAWNING AND FEEL URGE TO FALL ASLEEP. But the moment they leave, It goes away! I was calling it work allergy LMAO
I was diagnosed with adhd in my early childhood (there was also something about epilepsy, but it's ok now so it doesn't matter), not long ago i brought this fact back into my active memory (thanks to Jaiden animations ADHD video for that xD) i kinda used to myself by now and now I'm trying to catch and analyse all moments of adhd kicking in. I know my own tricks and buttons, how to make myself do the thing or just how to force myself into doing something. Because i know if i start, I'll probably lock in and won't get up until it's done (well, if i have at least a tiny bit of interest in that thing, or else i won't), and i hate it when someone interrupts me in the middle of the process. No mom, i can't come right now, i can't finish it later, because i either spend few more hours forcing myself to go back to the task or just forget about it.
But i didn't know that this sleepiness was a legit symptom! I just thought that it's exaderated boredom, that's it, had a joke name for it. That's... Funny to know that this thing is actually also adhd moment.
Also, about sleeping. I have problems falling asleep. I may lie in the bed for hours without even my phone, just rotating my stories in my head, and when i don't have a story to think about, this is just the name of my current hyperfixation with different tones and in different random dialogues that doesn't even make sense. I have no idea how to fall asleep, except when i didn't sleep for like 48 hours (EVEN THEN IT MIGHT BE A PROBLEM AND I START THINKING OF THAT CREEPY PRION SICKNESS AND SCARE MYSELF AGAIN). And my mom told me that it have always been like that with me. She and my dad had the whole ritual to make me fall asleep. Dad would hold me in his arms, his head with me covered with a blanket that i could only see his face (or else I would look everywhere and never fall asleep), and rock me for HOURS while i was SCREAMING and CRYING the whole time like i was tortured. But when I'd finally fall asleep, they could be as loud as usual and didn't have to whisper, because wake me up is a whole different story. And my mom was SHOCKED when all it took to make my sister fall asleep was just pet her back for 3-5 minutes.
I don't think of myself as... Sick or ill. That's how i was all my life, i don't know anything else. That's not a sickness to me, that's just part of my personality. Maybe sometimes some parts of it bite me in the ass and make my life harder, but i don't know other life. That's the only one I've got, and i guess I'm fine with that (tho now that i think about it, i need to pay more attention to how i write the characters, and don't make them all ADHDshers LOL i need to study neurotypical people under a microscope 🔬🔍)
bro im gonna CRY i didnt know this 🥺
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Saw the post of you asking if we had any tropes or ideas we wanted to see u talk abt and jumped for joy 🙏 … must ask . Do u have any thoughts on ghost finding out reader is pregnant 😋😋
I like to think Ghost starts having suspicions before you do
Wrapped around each other’s bodies, limbs tangled in the sheets as you sleep peacefully with your other half by your side, he’s never not holding at least one of your boobs in his warm calloused palms. You start to wake up with complaints about how sore they are however, his hands in complete agreement with his eyes; your tits have gotten bigger.
And though he hates to see how uncomfortable they have you feeling all of a sudden, and how you whine so cutely about how you need new bras, your cleavage spilling out of your cups, he’s finding it rather difficult not to appreciate the new view.
Next though, he’s noticing how strange it is that foods you usually loved, now have you crinkling your nose up in disgust, turning your face away from the smell, or worse, that one time you ran to the bathroom to spill the contents of your stomach, utterly repulsed by a certain odor.
But he forgets that you haven’t requested Chinese food in nearly a month when instead he’s trying to wrap his mind around how you want peanut butter and jelly on a cheeseburger.
He certainly doesn’t think twice about how you’re just tad bit friskier than usual, pinching his ass and trying to jump his bones more often. There’s never been a lack of intimacy or wanting the other in your relationship, but you seem nearly insatiable recently, using and abusing his fingers, his mouth, his dick, multiple times a day. There are no complaints on his end, your man always being borderline desperate for you.
It’s when he’s been away for work for the last two weeks and he’s walking back into the house and he sees you, that his eyes cannot deny the way you’re simply glowing. Radiating effortless beauty in a way he’s never seen before, which is saying a lot considering you knock the breath out of him every time he’s lucky enough to see even just your shadow.
You look so soft, so sweet, so perfectly his.
He’s searching for a cloth to warm up under the faucet, preparing to clean up the mess he’s just made of you in bed over the last few hours, when his eyes land on the unopened box of tampons under the bathroom sink. His mind starts quickly doing the math, believing that in theory you should have had to open this pack by now, when things begin to click for him.
Laying naked on your back atop the messy sheets, still catching your breath and coming back down to earth after the many times Simon brought you to bliss tonight, you’re admittedly confused when he comes back into the bedroom without the towel he said he was going to get. You’re even more caught off guard when he approaches you and lays two hands on the sides of your stomach, face approaching your abdomen with an expression of concentration on his face.
“Si what are you-”
“Love, I think you’re pregnant.”
He’s lucky you’ve been having the same suspicion for a few days now, waiting for him to take an actual test and find out, otherwise you might be smacking him upside the head right about now.
Once you do take the test however and confirm what he already felt sure of, that he had put a baby in you, he’s asking you why it isn’t appropriate to tape it to the living room wall for everyone to see, elated to share the news with those in your lives, meanwhile you’ve just decided he won’t be helping decorate the nursery, beyond building furniture.
#call of duty#call of duty fanfic#call of duty fic#simon ghost riley#simon riley#cod fanfic#ghost x reader#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x you#cod simon ghost riley#ghost fanfic#call of duty ghost#ghost cod#cod simon riley#simon ghost riley x you#simon fluff#asks#anon ask
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This is a funny lil idea I just had but have you ever thought about rook and a reader that acts like his behavior is normal? Like, they know he's literally stalking them but is perfectly fine with it for some strange reason.
And when they finally do start dating, everyone is either
1. Convinced that he’s threatening your life
Or
2. Judging you like crazy because WHY
Totally Normal Romance || Rook Hunt
You've fallen hard for the hunter and you're dating! But when you tell your friends the good news, they immediately try staging interventions. Huh, I wonder why?
thank you for waiting! I loved the idea a lot and it became way longer than I expected but I hope you like it!
You’ve somehow managed to fall into a relationship with Rook, the Academy's resident “Hunter” and renowned tracker of students who can't even attempt to hide without him finding them.
Most people would be a little alarmed—okay, extremely alarmed—by Rook’s knack for showing up whenever you breathe a little too loud. But you? You’re weirdly, unapologetically chill about it.
The day starts as it usually does. Rook is outside your door bright and early, practically sparkling, ready to report how many steps you took in your sleep, how many breaths you exhaled, and what percentage of your dreams contained images of his dashing silhouette.
You nod, acting like he’s merely sharing the weather, and go about your morning. People are whispering in the hallways; they’ve noticed that the school’s “greatest hunter” is now your personal shadow.
Some think you're being held hostage in an unholy union. Others are convinced you’ve cracked under the pressure of Rook’s endless poetic monologues and have, in fact, lost your mind.
When the two of you officially start dating, the rumors take a delightful nosedive into the surreal. Rook is, naturally, over the moon, reciting sonnets about your “captivating acceptance of his pursuit.” Friends beg you to “see the red flags.”
You just smile as Rook emerges from behind a tree on your morning jog to hand you a flower he found “radiant with the essence of your aura.”
Intervention Attempt 1: Adeuce
You’re just sitting down to lunch when Ace and Deuce suddenly approach you with identical expressions of horror and determination, like they’ve somehow stumbled into a horror movie and taken it upon themselves to rescue the clueless protagonist. Ace, as usual, decides to take the lead.
“We need to talk. About... him.” He jerks a thumb toward Rook, who’s lurking—quite visibly—behind a tree, watching you with a delighted grin as if the entire world is his favorite reality TV show.
You shrug. “Rook’s just being his usual sweet self.”
Deuce’s mouth falls open. “That’s... sweet? The dude’s literally hiding in a tree to stare at you.”
You wave a hand. “He’s just thoughtful, you know? He knew I needed a pick-me-up yesterday, so he waited in my closet for two hours just to surprise me with a motivational haiku.”
Ace’s expression is somewhere between pity and disbelief. “You’re serious? That’s... sweet?”
“Uh-huh.” You pop a fry in your mouth, unfazed. “Honestly, it’s kind of nice to have someone that dedicated.”
Ace and Deuce share a silent, horrified look, one that clearly says, Our friend has lost it. Then, Ace leans in close. “You know, if he’s threatening you, you can blink twice or something. We can handle him.”
You burst into laughter, almost choking on your fry. “Guys, come on! Rook’s harmless. It’s just his way of showing affection.”
Behind the tree, Rook notices you laughing and beams even wider, waving with both hands like you’re his entire world. Ace sighs, looking like he’s just signed up for an impossible mission. Deuce’s brows knit together in concern, like he’s mentally preparing himself to guard you from the “danger” Rook apparently presents.
Intervention Attempt 2: Leona
Leona lounges on the couch as you walk into the room, looking way too relaxed—except for the sharp glint in his eye as he watches you. You know that look; it’s the we need to talk look, though Leona would sooner eat his tail than say it outright.
“You know that guy who keeps creeping around you?” he starts, his tone casual, as if he’s talking about the weather. “The hunter dude?”
“Oh, Rook? Yeah, he’s great!” you reply with a smile, clearly missing his hint.
Leona raises an eyebrow, looking faintly amused. “Great? The guy basically tracks your every move like a lion on a hunt. He’s probably memorized your breathing patterns by now.”
You laugh it off, waving a hand. “Leona, you make it sound creepy. Rook’s just… committed.”
Leona smirks, leaning back with a lazy yawn. “Committed to what, stalking you?”
You shrug. “It’s romantic in its own way! He writes poetry about me, makes sure I’m always safe... It’s kinda nice knowing someone’s always watching out for me.”
“Watching out for you,” Leona mutters, barely concealing a snicker. “Sure. Or just watching you.” He tilts his head, examining you as if you’re some rare species that’s suddenly shown up in the savanna. “You sure he hasn’t put a spell on you? You sound completely out of it.”
You smirk. “Leona, you’re just not used to people showing appreciation.”
Leona narrows his eyes, amusement flickering in his gaze. “You keep saying stuff like that, herbivore, and I’m gonna assume you’ve completely lost it.” He yawns and flops back onto the couch, muttering under his breath, “That crazy hunter and his weird haikus…”
You walk away, oblivious, and Leona just shakes his head with a smirk, quietly wondering if he’ll end up having to pry Rook off of you someday.
Intervention Attempt 3: Riddle
Riddle stares at you over his teacup, his brows knit with concern as you talk about your latest “date” with Rook. You've barely started describing his newest poetic declaration when Riddle sets his cup down, looking thoroughly alarmed.
“I… don’t understand,” he interrupts. “Did you say he was waiting in the shadows outside your dorm window at midnight? And he… recited sonnets?”
You nod, completely unbothered. “Oh, yes! And he was so sweet about it. He even had a rose between his teeth, Riddle. He really went all out.”
Riddle’s expression looks like he’s been hit with cold water. “And you… didn’t feel unsafe?”
“Why would I?” you laugh, waving a hand dismissively. “It’s Rook. He’s just being his passionate self.”
Riddle’s face hardens, and he stands up, clutching his teacup with barely contained fury. “This is unacceptable! You must report this immediately—stalking is a severe issue! You don’t have to tolerate this treatment, no matter how he frames it!”
You blink, surprised. “Riddle, it’s really okay. He’s not stalking me; he’s just… really attentive.”
Riddle’s lips thin, and he looks at you with pity, as if you're just too naive to understand the danger you’re in. “It’s worse than I thought,” he mutters, eyes blazing. “He’s… he’s manipulating you into thinking this is acceptable!”
Riddle finally sighs, shaking his head. “If you’re too afraid to tell him off, I’ll do it for you. As a dorm leader, it’s my duty to protect students in my care.”
“Riddle, I appreciate it, but I don’t need protection,” you insist, patting him on the shoulder. “Rook is harmless.”
Riddle huffs, looking like he’s already planning out the verbal lashing he’s going to deliver to Rook the next time he sees him. “You’ll see,” he says. “When you realize the danger, remember I warned you.”
You just smile, and he glances at you like you’re a sheep walking happily into a lion’s den.
Intervention Attempt 4: Malleus (And Lilia?)
When Malleus summons you to Diasomnia for what he calls an “urgent matter,” you’re intrigued. However, when you arrive, his expression is downright grave. The flickering candlelight gives his face an eerie glow as he looks at you, his usually calm demeanor laced with worry.
He leans in close, and his eyes narrow. “I understand you… spend much time with Rook,” he says, voice almost a whisper.
“Uh, yeah? We’re dating,” you say, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
Malleus blinks, clearly taken aback, as if he was expecting an entirely different answer. “So you willingly… permit him to lurk in the shadows around you?”
“Well, yes, he’s got that whole poetic ‘silent protector’ thing going on.” You shrug, but Malleus doesn’t look any less alarmed.
“I see,” Malleus says, more to himself than to you. “So he’s already gained control over you.” He sighs, looking deeply concerned. “Fear not. I will protect you from him.”
Before you can respond, Lilia, who’s been silently watching with a smirk, bursts into laughter.
“Oh, Malleus, you’re taking this far too seriously,” he cackles, clapping a hand on Malleus’s shoulder. “Rook isn’t dangerous—well, unless you count bad poetry as a weapon.”
Malleus doesn’t look convinced. “You find this funny?” he asks, frowning.
“Of course I do!” Lilia grins, wiping a tear of laughter from his eye. “They’re dating, Malleus. Rook doesn’t even know how to scare a fly when it comes to them.”
Malleus turns back to you, still worried. “Are you… certain you’re safe?”
You nod, but the look of pity in his eyes says he’s clearly unconvinced, as if he thinks you’re only defending Rook out of fear. Meanwhile, Lilia gives you a wink and a mischievous grin, enjoying the absurdity of the whole situation.
Intervention Attempt 5: Azul
You’re strolling past the Mostro Lounge, hoping to grab some food, when Azul intercepts you, looking unusually serious. He gestures for you to follow him into a private corner, glancing around as if he's worried someone might overhear.
“I understand you’ve been spending quite a bit of time with Rook,” he says, his tone grave, though there’s a glint in his eyes that tells you he’s already calculating something.
You raise an eyebrow. “Yeah, we’re dating.”
Azul’s expression shifts to something between shock and pity, as if he’s just heard you’ve taken up with the Grim Reaper himself. “Dating? So… you’re aware he’s stalking you?”
You shrug. “He’s not stalking—he’s just keeping an eye out. Very vigilant, actually.”
Azul’s face darkens. “Right… vigilant.” He clears his throat. “In that case, allow me to offer the services of Floyd and Jade for your… protection.”
You blink. “Protection?”
“Yes. For a reasonable price, of course,” he says with a smooth smile, back to his usual self. “Consider it a sort of… insurance in case this arrangement with Rook takes a… dramatic turn.”
He leans forward, lowering his voice. “Imagine if you had two skilled guards who could tail him as closely as he tails you.”
Before you can respond, Floyd appears out of nowhere, draping an arm over your shoulder and grinning. “We could totally scare him, too. Make him feel like he’s the one being hunted!”
Jade nods from behind him, his smile too sharp to be comforting. “Yes, we’re more than happy to shadow Rook if you’d like.”
You stare at the twins, whose predatory smiles seem to stretch further the longer they look at you. “Guys, I appreciate the offer, but Rook’s fine. I’m not being held captive.”
Azul raises an eyebrow, but he doesn’t push, instead sighing in that dramatic way of his. “Very well. The offer stands should you need it. Just remember: one word, and we’re at your service.”
As you walk away, you catch a quiet exchange between the twins.
“Do you think we’d even get the chance to tail him, Jade?”
“Hmm… I’d say it’s more likely he’d follow us, Floyd.”
You shake your head, amused. Only Azul would find a way to capitalize on your love life.
Intervention(?) Attempt 6: Vil
You’re backstage in Pomefiore, helping Vil with his costume adjustments for his latest role when he pauses, hands on his hips, giving you a long, evaluative look.
“So… you and Rook?” he finally says, an eyebrow raised with an almost resigned air.
“Yeah.” You grin, shrugging. “I mean, he’s… intense, but it works.”
Vil sighs, pressing two fingers to his temple as if that would ward off the headache he’s certain to get from this conversation. “You realize that most people would find his behavior concerning, right?”
You wave him off. “He’s harmless. Just… expressive.”
He gives a soft, humorless laugh, as though he’s not sure if you’re just that naive or that confident. “You’re both completely mad, you know that?”
“Maybe,” you say, leaning back with a shrug. “But I like it that way.”
Vil sighs again, and there’s a glimmer of a smile, even if it’s hidden behind a look of sheer exasperation. “Well, at least he won’t make you look bad. He’ll be too busy swooning in the background to do anything truly reckless.” He adjusts your collar with an air of finality, giving you a nod. “Good luck. You’ll need it.”
And with that, he returns to his preparations, mumbling something under his breath about how only you could take Rook’s intensity as a “feature” rather than a “warning sign.” But you catch the faint smile on his face as he walks away, leaving you feeling oddly reassured.
Final Intervention: Idia
Idia’s “intervention” is the sort of spectacle that would probably have your other friends dial emergency numbers if they walked in. He's got his laptop perched on a stack of comics, his tablet propped up, and an honest-to-Seven laser pointer he’s brandishing like it’s going to physically ward off any poor life choices.
He points at his first diagram, titled in neon-green font: "Why Your Boyfriend Should Not Be Tracking Your Every Move Like a Supervillain”. It's complete with cartoonish red arrows and diagrams that could pass for an undergrad thesis on questionable behavior.
Rook’s sitting beside you, nodding along with a strangely approving look, as if Idia's crude drawings are just part of the "unrefined genius" he'd expect from mere mortals.
When Idia clicks to his next slide—a very intense pie chart on “Reasons You’re Definitely in Danger"—you shrug. “Look, Idia, everyone’s got their quirks, right? He leaves poetry scrolls for me; you send messages only through encrypted text channels with six layers of memes as the header.”
Idia stares at you, blinking, and drops his laser pointer. It rolls pathetically across the floor, and he looks like he’s two seconds away from fainting. “Th-This isn’t the same! I don’t leave my IP address in your flowerbeds!”
Rook, thrilled, interjects. “Ah, but would you not feel a poetic stirring in your heart if you did, monsieur? Every new line I compose is a love letter to the chase!”
Idia sways. You’re genuinely worried he might black out.
Life, as it turns out, continues with a healthy dose of Rook’s “love language,” which to everyone else looks like the dictionary definition of a security risk.
Yet, you find yourself smiling every time he swoops in with that glittering look in his eyes, poetry scrolls under his arm and a thousand strange ideas.
And even if everyone around you is either looking into exorcisms or planning escape routes, for you, it’s just another day of living your best life.
Masterlist
#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#rook hunt x reader#rook x reader#rook x you#rook hunt#rook
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𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬
Chapter 6
MASTERLIST
tara carpenter x fem!reader
summary: Last night was… well it just was. And Tara wasn’t really happy about it, clearly.
tags: slow burn, enemies to lovers, hangover y/n, angry tara, jelous, jealous, jealous
Tara always got what she wanted. Always. Did she think she was spoiled? No, not really. She didn´t think she was spoiled, she just hated the idea of not getting what she wanted and everyone around her knew it. Especially her sister.
She and Sam were the same yet so different. They looked the same, cared for one another the same and almost enjoyed the same things. But what they didn´t share was opinions and judgment. The viewing of the world and its look. The sentiment. But at the end of the day, things were thrown into the trash because they had nothing to do with love.
They would do first and last for each other.
These were the things that the young Carpenter appreciated the most. Having family and friends that she could rely on and trust. She would do anything to protect her circle of the people she loves. Why was she even thinking that way right now?
Because of her.
At the time Tara got home she already scrutinized the girl. Found out her name and birthday, her family and the names of her friends as well as her pet, which was by the way pretty cute but Tara didn´t want to get distracted and soft by that idea.
She checked who she follows and...
„This bitch.“ Tara whispered under her breath after she found your account in her following list. Of course, she already did that. Tara wouldn´t be surprised if she already texted you. Her fists clenched at that thought.
Her finger pressed the small round photo of yours to get into your page. Your photos and highlights loaded and Tara started to stalk. No, she wasn´t a stalker and she definitely wasn´t stalking you, she was just looking for her friend.
Friend.
That´s what you are now? To Tara you have always been someone close to her friends, you were in her friend group but she never took you as a friend. She got feeling she wasn´t your friend either but... she needed to take care of you because of her friends, no?
She clicked on the last post of yours which were some random photos you took like school and coffee, there was even Ethan who looked like he didn´t enjoy being photographed, the last photo was you with a headset around your head doing some weird faces.
You were pretty cute, yeah so what? She finally said that but that doesn´t mean you aren´t getting on her nerves every time you open your stupid mouth.
„Your right dimple is deeper than the left one.“
Tara´s corners of her mouth got up a little.
After that, she pressed the button of the comments. Chad was laughing at Ethan and also Ethan cursing you. The last comment is what made Tara´s smile drop. It was from that girl, an emoji with a heart in her eyes.
Liked by the author.
Sam was minding her business in the next room when she suddenly heard a loud sound coming from her younger sister´s room.
„What the hell is she doing?“
-
The bright sun shining through the window right into your eyes was the first thing your brain processed. Maybe if you were a little bit smarter last night and didn´t drink like an alcoholic you would be in a better state.
„Ugh someone help.“ you rolled on the side of your bed and stood up. You felt disgusting you smelled bad and your hair was everywhere. The clothes from the night before were still on you only now they looked all folded and wet from your sweat.
You grabbed your phone that was on your table seeing a lot of unopened messages as well as a low battery. Suddenly it started ringing signalizing a phone call.
„Hello?“ you said with your throat hurting a little.
„Y/N? Hey buddy, you okay?“
„I´m fine Ethan, I just woke up what´s up?“
„Oh, sorry! I was just a little worried about you I didn´t see you yesterday leaving and also didn´t hear from you so I just wanted to check.“ he said with a quick explanation.
„Oh I just drank a little more than I should have yesterday.“ you laughed a little still with not much energy. You just wanted to take a shower and go to bed again.
„You don´t feel fine? Should I come? I-“
„No Ethan it´s fine, I´m fine just a little exhausted but nothing serious. Don´t stress yourself.“
„Oh.“ he said quietly trying to read your voice. „If you say so, but if anything just text me, okay? I want to be here for my friend.“
You smiled at his words. No doubt he was your best friend. „Of course. Thanks, buddy.“
You grabbed new clothes and went straight to the shower. It was like an invisible relief that was washed off of you. After that, you put on some sweatpants with a hoodie and went to lie down again. Suddenly your phone lit up with a new message.
Demi: Hey you ok? I was worried ab you last night
Demi: when you wake up text me
Demi: Y/N
It was Demitra? Were you that much wasted that everybody knows it or what? Oh Gosh, you prayed that you didn´t do anything embarrassing what will everybody remember for the rest of their lives when they look at you?
And even though, why was she so worried, it wasn´t like you knew each other that long. But it was good to have someone to worry about you except your best friend.
Y/N: hey sorry to worry!
Y/N: everything fine promise
She immediately saw your text and replied to you. You spent a pretty long time just texting and lying around, having no energy to do anything more. Demitra was a good girl. She was attentive and soft-spoken. You weren´t an idiot, you saw that she was interested in you, otherwise she wouldn´t try to talk to you every time she saw you or texted you, right?
But was she someone you would go out? You´ve never thought about it not anyone. Maybe it was time to finally step up from this introverted state and go to see some new people. Who knows, maybe it will lead to her. The question is, would you be mad about it?
-
The knock on your door was a thing that tore you off of watching the TV. You kept lying down with a confused face. But the knock was there again only this time louder.
„Are you serious.“ you got up not wanting to leave your comfortable couch. Behind your door was Mindy and Chad with Ethan and behind him Tara.
„And what are you doing here huh?“ you asked as you opened the door wider for them to come in.
„Why are you asking so offended do you have someone in here?“ Chad said with a smirk on his face.
„Y/N why the hell is so dark in here? I feel like I´m in a cave!“ Mindy yelled as she went to your window to unfold the curtains.
Tara turned around and scrunched her nose. „Ew it smells so bad in here, do you ever open your windows?“
„Oh my and this trash, when was the last time you cleaned your house Y/N?“ Chad asked. Your nerves were getting higher with each word that left their mouth. Did you come to annoy you?
„You came here just to get on my nerves or what?“
„Y/N I bought you a soup.“ you turned to Ethan who was standing across the room with a small can of food. He was so cute that you would never forgive yourself if you said something hurtful.
„Thanks, Ethan you are the best.“
Chad sat down on your couch taking a controller into his hand. „And I´m not?“
„No, you are an idiot.“ you smiled vacantly at him. „And anyway weren´t you also drunk last night?“ you asked him.
„Well yeah but I guess I can just handle it better than you.“ he smiled.
„Handle it better my ass.“ you whispered under your breath with an annoyed look.
-
„How do you feel?“
You turned to the side seeing Tara leaning by the kitchen door. Her arms were folded and her eyes were focused on you.
„Fine, I guess.“ you said as you took another spoon of Ethan´s soup into your mouth.
She higher up her eyebrows as if she didn´t believe you. „I´m pretty surprised, you were like a different person last night.“ Your eyes widen at her words.
„No I wasn´t! I was completely fine!“
„Raising your voice is only making me sure that you don´t remember a thing.“ she unfolded her arms and went into your fridge.
„Yeah I forgot that you know everything.“ you shot her an angry look. „And what do you think you are doing?“
„Serving myself?“ she grabbed some snack that was there opened it and took a bite. „And yeah, I know because I was taking care of your drunk ass yesterday you idiot.
„So what? You want me to thank you?“ you looked at her with face puppy dog eyes. She rolled your eyes at your child's behavior.
„That´s what it should be.“
„Yeah like hell that I will thank someone like you. I don´t remember it so I´m taking it like it never happened to shut your short ass up.“
„What did you say you moron?“ she ran to you and slapped your shoulder with all her strength.
„Ow! What the fuck is wrong with you?“ you stood up looking down at her with anger across your face.
„Me? You are the one that doesn´t have the basics or polite behavior!“ she yelled into your face with her big brown eyes standing almost on her tippy toes to look more intimidating.
„Will you two stop it´s getting annoying!“ Mindy yelled from the living room. You huffed before you grabbed the plate with your soup to leave.
Tara looked down at her hand and then looked at you. „Great now I have to use hand sanitizer!“
You pleased all the angels and every creature that can hear you for your help not to throw that soup at her at that moment.
-
Tara was sitting on your couch beside Mindy. You all were watching some show that was already on when they came in. Your eyes were barely open leaning your head on Ethan´s shoulder. Without her noticing Tara smiled a little at sigh.
„Can someone pass me that please?“ you asked with a low voice pointing at the snack that was on a table in front of you.
„You can get it yourself.“ Tara mumbled.
„But I said please!“
„So? That means you will get whatever you want?“
You just sighed at her words yet not changing your position. Ethan bent over to get it for you but before his hand was able to get it someone else already did that.
Tara grabbed the snack and threw it on you. Then she turned to watch the show again without any word like nothing happened. You just caught the snack with a small thank you. Everyone in the room saw this small interaction. Of course, they did it didn´t happen a lot of times that you two acted like friends, not like enemies. So whenever this happens they smile a little having some kind of calmness in their chests.
After the show, everyone went somewhere in the house leaving Tara still in the place. She was scrolling down on her phone out of boredom when suddenly your phone rang with a notification. That caught the brunette's attention. It was a message from the Instagram dm´s.
The girl looked up if someone was coming before taking your phone into her hands. Demi. Demi?! You were texting each other? Who did text first? Was it her? And what did you even talk about?
Tara desperately wanted you to just block her, she was no good. Tara hated her with all her heart.
This bitch just can´t get off, can she?!
#jenna ortega x female reader#jenna ortega x gender neutral reader#jenna ortega imagine#jenna ortega fanfic#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega x fem reader#jenna marie ortega#jenna x reader#jenna ortega#jenna ortega x fem!reader#jenna ortega x g!p reader#jenna ortega x y/n#jenna ortega x you#jenna x fem reader#tara carpenter x fem!reader#tara carpenter x you#tara carpenter x y/n#tara carpenter x female reader#tara carpenter imagine#tara carpenter x reader#wednesday addams x reader#tara x female reader#tara x reader#tara carpenter#wednesday x reader#wednesday addams x fem!reader#wednesday addams x you#wednesday addams#wednesday adams x reader#cairo sweet
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Few additions as someone who struggled with this in undergrad because I was disorganized:
Yes, start with your bibliography. if you see a good source and wanna jump right into it- either because you're already focused or you're not sure if you'll use it and don't wanna waste time, it's enough to get the author's name or a key word of the title down. Just slap it at the end in parenthesis and highlight it to fix later. You don't need to do a perfect citation on the first draft, but you need something that will trigger your memory to where you found it.
In academia, you need a source for every idea, even if you had it on your own. Even if it seems really obvious. (I know- this one got me too). Think about it this way- sources aren't just a demonstration of where you found info, they're also a demonstration that the info is coming from multiple reputable places. It's either "I got this from here" or "these people think so too". Never these are my thoughts. That's not a thing. Your thesis might be the one thing you claim, and even then, it shouldn't seem like it's coming from you. It should be the conclusion your reader draws from the arguments you're presenting. If you're doing it right, you might not even have to say it. Erase the idea of 'State your thesis' and think about it as 'Argue your thesis' because you're not saying what you think, you're presenting evidence of why you think it.
ALWAYS always always make it as easy as possible to find your sources even if you think you're done using them. Use bookmarks and folders in your browser or download and drop them somewhere contained on your desktop as soon as you find them. If you can afford a writing software like Scrivner, those can be used to organize your schoolwork too. Different software have different advantages and disadvantages, but some of these programs even let you highlight and write on pdfs now.
It's always better to fuck up your format than it is to not cite something. If you end up in a time crunch and aren't able to make your citations perfect, STILL DO THEM. An academic review board that's checking for plagiarism is going to regard an attempt to cite with incorrect formatting a lot more kindly than no attempt at all.
in re plagiarism and citation and people not knowing how to do it
in the capstone class of my MASTER's degree, I had to do a group paper with fellow students who had all done 6+ years of collegiate study to get there
we shared drafts of our portions and they had no citations and i was like???? and they were like "it's a draft i'll put the citations in at the end" and i was like ???????
because by the time you're done writing the thing you're not going to remember what you got where and whether you synthesized information together! this is how "i thought i thought of it" plagiarism cases occur!!!!
anyway i told them at the bare minimum any time they referenced a numerical figure they needed to cite it, and since it was a paper on accounting fraud that mostly worked out. but i could tell they were citing stuff simply because i'd told them to cite where numbers came from, because they didn't bother to cite some non-numerical things that definitely needed it.
anyway this is why when you have classes that have multiple assignments for a paper to teach you how to write it, annotated bibliography comes before drafting. because you're supposed to have your sources and know what's in them when you start writing.
to current college students: PLEASE put the citations in as you're writing not as you're editing. i know it seems like a pita especially if you don't know the formatting well, but that's what tools like Purdue Owl are for. Tell it what citation format you're supposed to use, what kind of source you have, fill in the fields and it will format the citation for you.
#I'm realizing how much of this does not get taught to students#until they're in a class getting points knocked off for it#or suddenly in trouble for something they didn't mean to do
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tutor girl | rc
pairing: frat!rafe x college!reader
summary: y/n and rafe were never on the same level, but after a party at his frat that forms an unlikely friendship, rafe asks for her help
request by anonymous
warnings: drinking? i think that’s all
wc: 2k
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘
You closed up your laptop and textbook as your professor said his final few words of the lecture. You were tutoring someone right after, and didn’t want to make them wait around in the library.
You gathered your things quickly and stood up, keeping your head down as you made your way out of the lecture hall.
“Bye tutor girl,” you heard a voice call behind you.
You turned to see Rafe Cameron, smug grin spread across his face as he waved at you. You rolled your eyes as you always did and started to make your way to the library.
“You know, tutor girl, it wouldn’t kill you to look up from a book and have fun every now and then,” he teased.
You didn’t know why he always had to speak to you and taunt you with his dumb nicknames. You had no friends in common, and ran in completely different circles, yet he relentlessly went out of his way to tease you.
You arrived at the library first, and sat down at your usual table. Leah, the girl you were tutoring, was starting to become almost a friend to you. You two usually spend the beginning of your sessions just chatting and catching up. You saw her red hair before you saw any other part of her as she breathlessly sat down in front of you.
“Sorry I’m late,” she breathed. “You know how Callahan can be.”
“Oh, do I ever,” you chuckled.
“You going to that party tonight?” she asked casually as she took out her notes for you guys to go over together.
You shook your head, not hearing about any party. Your Friday nights were usually spent binge watching shows or reading a book tucked under your blanket. You didn’t go out much, and you liked it that way. You enjoyed spending time with yourself.
“You have to come!” she exclaimed. “I thought Ella would have invited you already. It’s at that frat house, the red brick one, alpha something.”
You weren’t surprised Ella, your roommate and friend, didn’t mention it to you. She knew your answer would probably be no, so eventually she just stopped asking. You decided maybe tonight you’d step out of your comfort zone. For some reason, Rafe insinuating you didn’t know how to have fun was bothering you. You could have fun. What did he know?
Just for a few hours, you told yourself, so people don’t think you’re so boring anymore.
“I’ll be there,” you grinned.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
“You look hot!” your roommate, Ella, screeched from behind you.
You blinked as you placed in your second contact lense, waiting for your vision to un-blur.
“Not as hot as you,” you told her. “I feel so weird.”
She reassured you that you looked great. You felt a little self conscious, but tried not to let it get to you. Tonight was about having fun. Letting loose, have a few drinks, talk to new people. It would be fine. The clothes you wore and how you looked were secondary.
You shoved your phone in your pocket as you and Ella made your way outside. The frat house was only about 5 minutes away on foot, an easy trek.
“Do you know anyone at this party?” you asked.
“A few,” she answered. She listed off a few names, all of which were unfamiliar to you except one.
Rafe.
“Rafe Cameron?” you asked, trying not to sound too curious.
She nodded affirmatively, making you let out a sigh. Just what you needed, Rafe teasing you about the way you looked, or about you being nerdy. Whatever. You just had to show him how to have a good time, that he didn’t know you like he thought he did.
You let Ella walk in first, suddenly feeling a rush of nerves overcome you. You hadn’t been to a frat party, and you had no idea what to expect. You just knew there would be a lot of booze, and a lot of idiot men.
The loud music pounded in your ears the second you walked through the door, and it was a lot…sweatier than you imagined. The temperature of the room rose from all the body heat. Girls in little clothing were grinding against boys who didn’t seem to even know their names. Red solo cups strewn on the floor that had a perpetual sticky feeling.
“Let’s get a drink!” Ella yelled into your ear over the music as you both made your way to the kitchen.
The counter was lined with alcohol bottles, various juices and mixers, and a big bowl of what appeared to be punch of some kind. You reached for a red cup from the pile, a hand interjecting you.
“Tutor girl!” Rafe cheered. “What are you doing here?”
Of course he found you immediately.
“It’s Friday night,” you shrugged nonchalantly.
“That it is, tutor girl, that it is,” he nodded. “Let me make you a drink.”
You grabbed the cup back from him, cocking your eyebrow.
“I can do it,” you told him. You didn’t trust any of these boys to make you a drink.
He raised his hands in defence, taking a step back to let you have free access to the contents in front of you. You mixed yourself a drink, feeling Rafe’s eyes burning into you. Ella had left your side, probably seeing someone she knew and running over to them.
You took a deep sip of your drink, knowing you needed some liquid courage to get you through the night. You heard Rafe say something, but couldn’t hear him over the music. You asked him what he said and he leaned toward you, his warm breath behind you ear.
“I said I like you better with the glasses,” he repeated.
You couldn’t help the blush from forming on your cheeks. You were used to people telling you they liked you better without them. You had always wondered if you should wear contacts every day. Your blush disappeared when you realized who you were talking to. He was being sarcastic, making fun of you.
“I’m gonna go find Ella,” you told him before turning on your heel and walking away.
She was standing by a table playing beer pong, excitedly waving you over. You weaved through overly sweaty bodies to stand next to her. She told you she needed a partner, and you reluctantly agreed.
You went first, bouncing the ping pong ball off the table, and landing it straight in the cup in the front.
“Drink up!” Ella cheered, as Topper chugged the cup in front of him.
You continued, landing almost every throw, everyone around the table cheering you on as you scored the winning shot.
“Who knew tutor girl could kill all of us at beer pong?” Rafe said from behind you.
He smirked at you, moving to the other side of the table.
“Let’s 1v1,” he challenged you, his bright blue eyes narrowing playfully.
“You’re on, Cameron,” you muttered.
“You’ll regret that, tutor girl.”
The beer coursed through you as Rafe landed his ping pong ball in your cup repeatedly. At this point, it was like you were just taking turns drinking then scoring. The room was slightly spinning around you, but you stayed focused. You were determined to win. You both had one cup left, and it was your turn.
“Don’t choke,” Rafe intimidated you from across the table. His gaze was locked on you, making you nervous.
“As if,” you scoffed, sending your ball straight into the cup.
Everyone cheered, jumping around you drunkenly. The other boys in the frat were teasing Rafe, who apparently almost never lost beer pong. You hadn’t even expected yourself to be good at it. A hidden talent, you smiled to yourself.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
You stumbled up the stairs, looking for the bathroom you were told was up here to the left. The hallway spun as you walked in to the first room on the left. You realized quickly it wasn’t a bathroom, but a bedroom. You slumped on the floor, feeling tired from dancing for what felt like the last hour.
You couldn’t remember the last time you drank this much, and sometimes sitting on the floor was appealing. You’d get up in a second and find the bathroom. You shut your eyes a moment, you head spinning, before being scared by a sudden voice.
“Tutor girl,” he said. You could hear the smirk on his face without even needing to see him. “What are you doing in my room?”
“I was looking for the bathroom,” you slurred. “But I needed a rest and the floor seemed comfortable.”
“You were only a few feet short,” he chuckled.
You shrugged, laughing to yourself. He sat down beside you, making your body stiffen at his sudden presence so close to you. You were expecting him to kick you out of his room.
He held a bottle in his hand, passing it over to you to take a sip. You took a swig and instantly regretted it, your face grimacing in disgust. Rafe chuckled beside you as he took a swig himself.
“You know,” he started. “I underestimated you, tutor girl.”
There he goes again with that nickname. Will he ever call you by your name?
“Because I beat you at beer pong?” you asked.
“Nah I knew you’d be good at beer pong,” he answered. “You were probably doing some physics shit in your head or something.”
You let out a cackle, immediately covering your mouth with your hand. You hadn’t meant to laugh that hard.
“You have a great laugh, y/n,” he slurred, tilting his head back.
You stopped at the sound of your name leaving his mouth. You don’t think you ever heard it.
“Wow,” you sighed. “Not tutor girl?”
“Oh you’re still tutor girl,” he replied quickly. “But I meant I underestimated how cool you were. You’re fun.”
“You’re just drunk,” you said. “Tomorrow you’ll go back to ignoring me except to make fun of me.”
He stared at you blankly, not knowing what to say. For once, he didn’t have a witty comment. You didn’t know he did the opposite of ignore you. In fact, he was always paying attention to you. The way your eyebrows furrowed when you were typing your notes out, the way you leaned your chin on your hand when the professor was talking, the smoothness of your voice when you explained a concept to a student. He saw you.
“I’m not making fun, tutor girl,” he whispered. “You’re very intriguing.”
“There it is again,” you sighed. You stood up finally, your urge to pee stronger than ever. You snatched the bottle from Rafe and took one more swig before finally going to find the bathroom.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
Monday morning, you sat in class, chin resting in your hand as the professor drawled on. You pushed your glasses up as they slid down your nose. You practically jumped out of your seat when the class was finished. You were starving.
“Tutor girl!” you heard a voice call from behind you. You turned to see none other than Rafe jogging towards you, backpack slung over his shoulder.
“What do you want, Rafe?” you asked, annoyed he was keeping you away from the sandwich you were about to buy.
“I have a proposition,” he started. “I need help with this class. My grades are slipping and I just can’t understand anything. Would you help me?”
You let out a laugh, stopping when you realized he was serious.
“Are you messing with me?” you asked.
He shook his head. “I seriously need help. And I thought who better to ask than…tutor girl!”
You rolled your eyes, as always. But you reluctantly agreed.
“Can we start now?” he pleaded, clutching his textbook in his hands.
“Rafe,” you sighed. “I’m starving, can we do another day?”
“I’ll buy you lunch!” he exclaimed. “Your prize for beating me at beer pong.”
“Fine,” you agreed. “But we aren’t friends just because we sat on the floor drunk together.”
“Whatever you say, tutor girl.”
You rolled your eyes once more, but couldn’t help but lift the corners of your mouth, knowing without having to look that he was smiling as he trailed behind you.
#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe x reader#outer banks imagine#outer banks#obx#obx imagine
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okay i've played a bit more and i have a lot of thoughts about Taash and the way gender is being handled overall in this game...
first i will say the positives which is that i do really appreciate the attempt at incorporating trans characters both in the world as companions and allowing us to make those options in the cc. and as someone who also writes dark fantasy stories with trans characters i do understand how difficult it can be to incorporate these identities into a world that doesn't necessarily have the same language as we do; but overall the way they've approached this feels very... i've seen some people call it unpolished but i actually feel the opposite. it's almost clinical (therapy-speak in general has been a main criticism of this game) and it's way too polished, in my opinion, which is what makes it so jarring to see.
there has been a trans character established in game previously, there is already a precedent for these identities to exist in this world, and they have never used this language before. the way Iron Bull talked about Krem felt far more realistic and integrated into the world of Thedas comparatively. was it perfect? no, of course not, but i chafe at the idea that it needs to be perfect, anyways. this is another problem the game has; past characters have had their flaws completely ironed out (Isabela is now a paragon of friendship and returns cultural artifacts instead of looting them, Dorian has multiple codex entries wallowing about how he used to defend slavery, the Crows have suddenly become a big found family-- on and on and on) and while i have my criticisms of some of these flaws (Dorian's pro-slavery rant in inqusition still makes my eyes roll) i dislike the way they're handling these changes and just expecting us to ignore all of the lore and worldbuilding from previous games. and all of this "political correctness" only for the game to still be so racist.
which brings me back to Taash.... Taash is very strange character, lacking agency around both their gender and their culture. they are simply a mouthpiece for the writer. while yes, it should always be made undeniable that your character is trans or gay or xyz, Taash really does only exist to be nonbinary. and to be clear, a nonbinary character like them could be very interesting, if their writing wasnt so... white. we know that the Qun has different ideas about gender than Rivain (and elsewhere) and this could have been a very interesting exploration of that; however, it is obvious that the Qun (and Taash's mother) are meant to be depicted negatively, and ultimately it ends with the player (not Taash) choosing between their two cultures. their gender is clearly far more important to the writer and the only facet of their identity they seemed willing to explore, which makes me question why even make this character qunari to begin with...
Neve and Rook are also the two that spur Taash into exploring their gender. this, on the surface, is not a problem for me. i'm playing as a trans Rook and while the dialogue was again very overpolished and clunky i found it kind of endearing. but the way Neve is used as this "foil" for Taash really rubbed me the wrong way. this assumption that Neve has no complicated feelings about her gender or being a woman (which i highly doubt considering the world she lives in & how misogynistic it is) and the implication from Taash that she only dresses the way she does for her mother/other people (which Neve doesn't even get to challenge) is extremely narrow-minded. Taash is the Only character that acknowledges gender; so far, even when flirting with other characters, it's only been Taash that i've been allowed to specify with that my rook is trans, despite Taash already knowing that from our previous conversation (i hope that this changes once i lock in with a specific character so feel free to correct me if it does).
but no one else really seems to have an opinion except that Neve drags Taash around to meet Maevaris, and we get the very goofy note that's just a list of modern gender identities and their definitions. i do partly sympathize with the writers here; again i've had to find a way to incorporate lgbt identities in my own writing and it can be difficult depending on your audience. i understand wanting to be very clear and concise. but this is... just goofy. and this desperation to be so correct around gender while simultaneously writing such an offensively racist narrative is really frustrating.
there's also an inconsistency that comes from this with Taash's character-- they are portrayed as this rough but awkward character that is bossed around by their mother, they are bashful with flirting early on and are almost child-like in comparison to the other characters. and then suddenly you get a scene with them where they very directly ask if you want to have sex and suddenly pin you against the wall. this scene was so jarring to me i referred to it as a jumpscare because WHERE has this character been this entire time? i want to see more of this, more of this character who takes what they want and knows exactly who they are (which they even say multiple times when you first meet them... but then need Neve and Rook to hold their hand about it?)
i do really like Taash, i like the idea of them, of this very self-assured and almost cocky character who is also a little silly, this person who is so sure of who they are but has to deal with their mother undermining them while also navigating a culture they feel disconnected from, and i also like that the player can help them through it... but the execution is awful, shallow, and racist. the idea that someone can only choose One culture is so offensive and also a laughable conclusion when compared to their coming out as nonbinary. the writer clearly understands that people don't exist within these little boxes when it comes to gender, but can't wrap their head around it when it comes to someone's culture-- which is also a very important part of a person's identity and often contributes directly to their gender and how they feel about it. all of these different characters have different experiences, come from different places, Davrin and Bellara are Dalish and even have differing opinions on what that means for themselves, but the game doesn't touch on any of it. all we get is a lecture from the writer that is completely removed from the world it's presented in.
i wish i could understand what it was this character was meant to convey. i stand by saying that it doesn't need to be perfect; i know there are people that had problems with Krem in inquisition, but at least Krem was his own person. Taash doesn't even get that here... i harp a lot about character agency when i give writing advice on my other blog but it really is so so so important for marginalized characters-- both gay, trans, and especially characters of color-- to have their own agency around their identities that is completely separate from the player & player choice, that allows them to exist as their own person within the world you've created, and i think Taash's character and story is an unfortunate example of exactly what not to do.
#honestly i should be making these posts over on that blog but im scared of dragon age fans#and this blog is much smaller and not connected to rpg/IF fandoms lmao#datv spoilers#datv critical#taash#long post
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Hijacking this to add on another point that gets so lost in all of this!
Having children is inherently selfish.
Having children is inherently selfish.
There is no noble reason to have a child. Even if you are the kind of loving, nurturing person who just loves the idea of fostering a little life and caring for them as they grow, which are the best possible motivations you could have for wanting a child, it is still, at base, inherently selfish, because you are forcing a new life into existence that could not make the choice of whether or not they want to come upon this world for the sake of your own desire to have something to care for and raise.
It's not a bad motivation, mind, like I said the best case scenario is being a nurturing person that wants to raise a little human, but inherently, the very act of having a child is always selfish and done for your own personal happiness and benefit. You had that child because it fulfilled your desires and goals, and that is still selfish at base.
And this is not even mentioning other reasons people have children, which are openly and blatantly selfish, such as:
Wanting someone to take care of them when they're old
Wanting to pass on their genes and have a mini-me
Wanting to have a child so they have someone to vicariously live out their unfulfilled aspirations through
Wanting a child so it would "fix" a bad marriage
Wanting a child so they continue their bloodline
Wanting a child so they have a cute baby for their Instagram
Wanting a child because they want online influence, attention and likes (look at family youtube channels for this one, they pop out babies to milk them for content and ad revenue)
Wanting a child because that's what they're supposed to do/what couples are supposed to do (as the original post said already)
etc. etc.
There is no noble reason to have a child, even when you mean them well, give all the love in the world and raise them happily. That was still a selfish act. You did it for you only.
You didn't do it for them, because well, they didn't exist, you can't know if that's what they would've wanted or not. You couldn't have done it for them, even if you would've wanted to.
Just some food for thought for people that say 'not having kids is selfish'. No.
Having them is. No matter why you have them, it's an inherently selfish act.
I think more people should keep this in mind when they're deciding if they want to have children or not. So they can deeply examine what exactly their motivations behind this desire are and make damn sure they are as best as they could possibly be, because that human you bring into this world is worth that effort.
Actually I think having kids is too normalized.
I mean like; not only has it become an expectation for people (not just talking about fascists and sexist pigs controlling women's choices) but people are just so... Out of touch with what "having a baby" actually means.
Not just for the immediate future but also long term.
"We'll cross that bridge if it comes to it!" is an alarmingly common response these days when parents are questioned about the future with their child. People seem to be so caught up in just having a child and a pretty nursery that they don't seem to think beyond that point at all.
I know so, so many people who suffered a shitty upbringing because their parents had a child because "its just what couples do." Parents who never planned for unforeseen circumstances. Parents who left crucial developmental stages to other people. Parents who never bothered to learn how to actually raise another human being.
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Warfare
You see, Marvel’s mentioned the Wisdom of Solomon before. The JL never really thought much about it. As a result, the JL just thinks Marvel has all these… interesting ideas but just never says anything about them. Though, there are a couple times the ideas are actually voiced. (They don’t know Billy is just parroting whatever Solomon or occasionally another God with tell him)
Like the time Batman and Marvel got stranded on a planet that was stuck in the middle of war. They were promised
Rebel Leader: “Do either of you have any ideas to bring to the table?”
Batman: “No. Marvel?”
Marvel: “Huh? Oh uh… well I could magic a plague into the water near them. You said they’re using it for their water source, right? Then, when they’re weak, we can go around and take them out.” *sounds hesitant*
Batman: “Hmm… That could be a good idea, but what sort of plague are we talking about?”
Marvel: “Cholera.”
Batman: “What.”
Marvel: “Cholera.”
Batman: “Marvel, that’s fatal.”
Marvel: “Oh.”
Batman: “Yeah.”
*silence*
Marvel: “Well, if we’re quick, it we can get to them before they die.”
Batman: *stares for a bit, holding back a sigh* “We don’t even know if Cholera will affect their biology the same way it does humans.”
Rebel Leader: “What is this Cholera?”
Batman: “It’s a deadly waterborne disease.”
Rebel Leader: “I see… And you’re unsure whether it will work with our physiology… might I propose a different disease?”
So yes, biological warfare, that’s our first thing. Batman proceeded to spend a lot of time convincing the Rebel Leader not to nearly kill an entire group of people with their version of Cholera.
Then there was the time Bruce and Marvel were working together and got held up in a shootout at a lab.
Marvel: *looking at the various chemicals in the lab* “Gosh, I remember my first exposure to chlorine gas.” *getting nostalgic* (He’s from the 1940s in this one, guys)
Batman: “You’ve been exposed to chlorine gas?”
Marvel: “Yeah, and let me tell you, those dang Nazis were horrified when it didn’t work on me. Don’t worry though, we’re gonna be making mustard gas instead.”
Batman: “Captain, we are not doing that.”
Marvel: “Why? We have all the available ingredients.”
Batman: “Marvel.” *puts a hand on his shoulder* “Mustard gas can be fatal.”
Marvel: “Oh.”
Batman: “Yeah.”
*silence*
Marvel: “My bad.”
*more silence*
Batman: “Is this why you always let others plan?”
Marvel: “Are you gonna look at me weird if I say yes?”
Batman: “Hn.” (Translation: Yes, but it won’t be visible through my cowl)
This incident checks chemical warfare off the list. Bruce is now concerned as to why most of Marvel’s ideas are either nearly fatal or just fatal.
Then there was the time Marvel went undercover with Bruce Wayne, not Batman for whatever reason. They then got attacked by pirates while on a ship trying to gather information about some supervillain.
Bruce and Marvel: *taken cover under a table while the pirates fire cannon balls at them*
Bruce: “Any ideas?” *peaks over the cover only for a cannonball to whiz right past his head*
Marvel: “I think I have one. So here’s what I’m thinking. I take out their mast, steal all their oars, and then push them out to sea and let them drift wherever.
Bruce: “That’s… Intense. Wouldn’t they starve if you just let them drift?”
Marvel: “I guess. If they’re not saved, I mean.”
Bruce: *stares with the most deadpan face* “How about I come up with a plan instead?”
Marvel: “You got it boss.”
And last but not least, the physical warfare.
By the way, Billy doesn’t know Bruce is the Bat. No, no, no, he just thinks the guy is someone Batman wants him to work with. He was a little surprised to see the dude act all brooding like Mr. Batman when he had heard from others that he was a party boy. Oh well, not his business. Meanwhile, Bruce doesn’t know Marvel thinks he’s just interacting with a capable civilian.
That last part was inspired by @helps-the-writing-brain-go’s reblog of this post. Thanks for letting me write with your idea :)
#billy batson#shazam#dc captain marvel#captain marvel dc#fawcett city#fawcett#fawcett comics#batman#bruce wayne
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Wishful Thinking
arranged marriage with nanami… a continuation
pt. 1 - pt. 2
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
The silence that permeates the car you were shuffled into with your husband is suffocating.
Your life partner had let go of your hand the moment he had reached to buckle you into your seat. You strain your fingers now, hoping the sweat on your palms hadn't been noticeable.
A driver from your clan's estate had been tasked with dropping you and your husband off at your newly arranged space. You knew this man, the man who was seated directly to your left, was not affiliated with any clan, this meant you had no idea where you were headed.
Several shipments of your belongings had been retrieved over the weeks since the higher-up's declaration of marriage for you had been in place. A steady and simple move-in awaited you. Something you weren't particularly happy about.
You thought through a list of things to occupy yourself with instead of awkwardly standing in this stranger mans presence.
As curious as you were about your future arrangements, you truly could not ignore the silence in this vehicle much longer. Had you married any of the expected bachelors, you were sure your ear would be talked off at this point, yet, you did not even know this mans name.
You took in a deep breath, preparing to speak, the blonde fellow, (your literal husband) turned to meet your eyes, likely having expected you to say something. His eyes shock you, and you turn away once more to stare out the window.
You strain your hand into a fist and work up the courage. Turning with an inhale once more, you force out words before you can change your mind, "Terribly sorry..." You start, looking him in the eyes, "Could you remind me of your name?"
You had never been given it to begin with. Perhaps the officiant at your wedding had recited it in his speech, but you had been a little distracted at the time.
"I'm sorry?" He strains his neck in your direction, eyebrows raised.
"Your name? Sorry... I think I ought to know it, right?"
"You don't know my name?" His head shakes a little as he speaks, incredulous.
You hesitate, "...No? I wasn't paying the most attention for it during the ceremony..." You mumble the last bit, waiting for him to cut you off, but he just stares at you.
"I'm sorry-" His hand hovers mid-air, "You weren't given my name?"
Oh no, you've offended him.
"Oh! It's not like that! My family is....very fond of you! And the higher-ups speak very well of you as well! I...well...I erm..." How do you fix this? Stroke his ego?
His hand is firmly on his forehead now. "That is not what I meant. I'm asking you - you were not informed of my name? Who I am? Were you even aware you were to be wed?"
You fumble a bit with the skirt of your dress, "Of course! Yes, I just... well, I didn't know who, but the marriage bit was no surprise."
"But the rest, that is all true? You had no idea you would be marrying me?" He looks frustrated, to say the least. You had no idea this would come as shocking news, someone should have informed you.
He is peeking at you through his hand, "Well...no, but-" He cuts you off now, but he seems to not be speaking to you.
"No wonder you looked so ill up there..."
Okay ouch.
"When did you agree to this marriage? Was this simply... decided for you?
You weren't sure what to say. Had this not been decided for him as well? Speaking frankly, you were not entirely sure of why he had been chosen as your partner, he had no duty to his name. Even so, he looked repulsed at the realization, eyes shot wide.
"Well... it was-" Were you supposed to be talking about this? Should you say this to your husband? "Umm... Well, I'm sure you know the higher-ups are involved with the clans..."
He shifted in his seat to face you fully now, "You...were forced?" He almost looks frighted at the concept. You want to laugh.
Of course, you were. How else did he think marriage worked?
Despite your thoughts, all you said was, "No, it was a mutual understanding that I would be married."
"Yet you know nothing about me." He looks forward at the road.
Was that what this was about? "I'm a quick learner, if you're concerned about that."
He sighs and smacks a hand to his face again. "No...No that is not what concerns me."
You have a litany of responses ranging from, 'I see...' to 'what does concern you then?' but you say none of them. You just sit forward and stare at your palms.
Oddly enough, it does not take long for the silence to be broken once more.
"Nanami." He says.
"I'm sorry?" You hadn't expected him to speak, eyes wide, you turn to him again.
"Nanami Kento. That's-" He sighs, as if it's a real chore to introduce himself, "my name is Nanami Kento."
You look to one another for a moment before you quickly break the connection, gazing out your window, deigning to not look again until you arrived.
"Mmm...thank you." You finally say.
--
Although you knew the house was not terribly far from your family estate, it felt like hours had passed before you allowed yourself to move once more.
Mr. Nanami had climbed from his seat once the car had halted.
Eager to be away from me it seems.
Only, he had seemed surprised as you climbed from your door as well, having walked around to greet you.
"Allow me," He had said, reaching for the small train case in the back of the car, it had been filled with small wedding gifts and your husband insisted on carrying it for you.
I wonder how long he will keep up this act. You found yourself thinking. Your new residence was sizable. Nice, in an uncomfortably clean way. Perhaps that is how your husband liked it.
As you stepped over the threshold, moving out of "the man of the house's" way. You took it in.
This place must have been chosen by the higher-ups. Your father would not have bought you a home, nor did you expect a man without clan connections to have been able to purchase such a plot of land.
It was only mid-afternoon. Yet your life was impossibly different than it had been only a few hours prior. You had expected the driver to stay and discuss the honeymoon with the two of you but it seemed he had not been instructed with that information.
As many frightening realizations occurred to you, you were able to resign yourself to acceptance, putting aside the...bedding...situation... the concern that stuck with you was dinner plans.
Were you expected to have that prepared? You didn't know what he preferred though....
Thoughts of your...marital duties swam in your head while Nanami was making his way towards the living room.
"Of course," He was saying, "You're free to use whatever you like, these things are as much yours as they are mine..." He had rounded through the sitting area and around the kitchen into the master bedroom, never once turning to look at you.
It was clear that people had come to prepare the area for you two. On his bedside table, you see a comfortable pair of plaid pajama pants and a loose grey shirt. You had not been presented with such. No, on the bed, strewn out for the both of you to see was a... sordid... set of black lacy lingerie.
You stood in silence. A resigned look on your face. Your husband on the other hand, had coughed, spun around, and fully walked from the room in moments.
What was he doing? Was he sickened by you? Did he expect you to appreciate his apprehension? If you were being honest, you would like for him to get this act over with as quickly as possible.
Looking at your marital bed, you were once again reminded of your mother's sobs only this morning. You looked down at the gown that clung to your waist. You had felt pretty today, despite the occasion. You knew you would not feel beautiful in that raunchy piece of string.
How long do I have? You wondered.
Finally moving yourself, you come before the undergarments, sit next to them, and run your hand along the bed's silky duvet.
You sat in silence for longer than you expected to be given. You finally reached your hand up your spine. Unzipping the dress, unbuttoning the clasp at your neck.
You slid it off your body. Walking around the room near-nude to lay the dress along the ladder of a bookcase. It was nice, actually. Maybe you wouldn't mind it here.
You did not rush to dress in the sexy, frilly, underthings. You might not have been perfectly comfortable in your body, but that didn't matter. Not when you had knowledge of the intentions behind your wedding for years.
It was a bit of a challenge to get it on. You weren't sure how to get your arms through at first, and then you swapped them around when you couldn't figure out the neck bit.
What did it matter, it would be coming off anyway.
After dressing, you sat in the same spot on the bed for a while, staring at your hands. You wondered if he was expecting to eat first. Seeing as he had left you alone, however, you figured he would return eventually.
It was cold like this, you hopped he would hurry.
Just as you were beginning to consider moving to look at the bookcase, (panty clad and all) your spine snapped into place when you heard him calling for you. When had you given him your name? You weren't sure.
He was speaking loudly so you might hear through the wall, but not in a frustrated manner, "The kitchen staff is arranging something for us to eat-" He had slowly began to open the door, when his eyes landed on you. Not a moment passed before he dropped whatever he had in his hands. It loudly clattered to the floor and he slammed the door shut. The noise echoed in the room.
"What-??!" He stuttered, "What are you doing?!!"
Your mouth opened and closed repeatedly like a fish. What were you doing? What did he mean? And how exactly do you respond?
"I... uhh-" You looked down at yourself in the ridiculous lace.
You had not been trained in much regarding sex, having been told that the man you would marry would be well aware of how to educate you when it came to your actions. Suddenly self-conscious, you wondered if you had done something wrong.
Nanami calls your name from outside your new bedroom, then repeats it. Firm and unmoving. "What-are-you-doing?"
Your hands flounce around. Stuttering for a response, "I- I don't know!?" You finally force out, the tone coming off a little too questioning for an answer.
After a moment there is a dull *bonk* against the door. You hear no response for a long while. The room is so silent, you can hear your heart pounding. It was so painfully uncomfortable, you reached a hand to your chest to try and calm it. Finally, he clears his throat and calls out to you from behind the door again.
He speaks your name gently, as if calling to a child, "I'm going to come in now, okay?"
You sit upon the bed once more, back straight. "Alright." You nod to yourself.
Unsure of what to expect, you watch the door handle tilt to allow for your husbands entry, but your eyes narrow as he shifts into the room, avoiding your gaze - in fact - avoiding your presence completely.
His arm is shaking off his nicely tailored suit jacket. Still turned to look at the closet, he comes before you, jacket in hand, and reaches out for your shoulders. You almost want to shrink back from this odd behavior but remain still as he wraps you up in his clothing.
After a few awkward seconds, he turns to look at you. "What are you doing?" He repeats, low and calm.
You raise your brows, "What... are you doing?" You reach up to feel the jacket covering your collar and torso, instantly, he drops his hands from your shoulders.
He shakes his head, a hand tugging at his loose blond hair. "I don't... understand." He is no longer looking in your vicinity. His voice shakes and all the air leaves his lungs.
"I'm sorry." You wrap yourself tighter in his jacket, shifting to stare at him, "Was this not... expected?" His apprehension certainly came as a surprise to you.
Suddenly he's back, fully facing you, "Expected?" He raises his brows, "What is this? You're... what? Doing what is expected of you?". Despite the severity of the moment, it is now that you recognize how expressive his features are. His neck, up to his cheeks, up to even his ears are a warm pink. It wouldn't be improbable to assume his chest is a rosy shade right about now as well.
You decide to push the boundary, share your frustration. Why is he upset? If he does not want you, he should just say. It's not as if you desire him in that way. This has been an incredibly stressful and tense day, at least he knew who you were before all of this, you did not have that liberty. If anything, you should be upset with him!
"Is it not?" You speak up, "Forgive me, but I was under the impression that...this" You pull your arm out from under his jacket to motion between you two, "was how this worked."
He makes a face. Revolted.
"You are- we-" He cuts himself off, waving his hands before himself, then covers his face, "no." He gets out, "This is not how this works."
"Well." Now you're flushing, embarrassed. You straighten yourself, balling his suit jacket in your firsts. "What... would you like for me to do? I told you in the car that I learn quickly, if thats-"
"Stop." He spits out, voice suddenly higher than before, "Just...stop."
You swallow. What does he want from you? "Okay." You whisper.
He calls for you gently, and motions for you to stand. He turns away from the bathroom now and shifts in the other direction, looking at your wedding gown strewn across the bookcase ladder. He purses his lips. "Please.... dress yourself." He swallows, motions towards the wardrobes along the wall. "Something comfortable in there. I was... going to ask your preferences, for a meal-for dinner. Let me-"
He clears his throat, moving away now toward the bedroom door, he drops to the floor and picks up what must be his phone, having been dropped earlier, he rubs the screen on his pant leg. "What would you like?"
You stare at him, straight-faced. "Anything you like." You're not a picky eater.
He sighs, looking up at the ceiling, "No. What do you like to eat?
You shrug, "Anything. I don't mind." You shake your head at him and he just looks you up and down. The stupidly large jacket comes mid-thigh.
He takes a deep breath. Then exhales dramatically. Nods. And he's gone. This time, when closing the door, he makes an effort to do so gently.
--
You had found a soft cotton pajama set in one of the dresser drawers. Having long since removed your previous attire, you wonder what your husband is thinking of as he silently serves two plates of Chinese food.
You wonder what your father would say if he saw Mr. Nanami serving up dinner for his wife as you sat on the living room couch.
You're taken from your thoughts as Nanami places a large wooden tray on the couch, he places the food on it.
It seems you will very much be eating together.
"I hope you enjoy it. Let me know if you don't." He murmurs, seating himself near you in the dimly lit room.
In no world would you complain about the food your husband served you. Even if you disposed it, luckily, you liked Chinese cuisine. Before you can even get out a word of appreciation he is speaking again, "I think we should talk."
You sit up straight. "Alright."
He motions for you to eat, "Feel free. I think we ought to have an open discussion."
You grab your utensils but don't reach for anything until after he takes a bite. Awaiting his words.
"Well... I believe we ought to be on the same page about this. I had been under the impression that we were... but as I can see, that is not the case." He stares at you intently.
He is not speaking down to you, but rather, making space for an open conversation. You set down your chopsticks, and await further explanation.
"I suppose I should know what exactly the higher-ups asked of you."
You raise your brows, "Sorry?"
An apology has become a common synonym for many of your reactions.
"Earlier, you asked me for my name. And just then-" He flushes a little, motioning to the bedroom, "well- you mentioned expectations and I feel I ought to ask you what is is that has been requested of you."
Is this man daft? Is he playing with you?
Before you respond, you test the waters, "What did the higher-ups demand of you?"
The man sighs.
"I am terribly sorry," he calls your name again like its easy, a habit that makes your stomach flip, "It seems that people have not been honest with you, you deserve an explanation. I just expected you to be aware of this before our union."
He pauses for a moment, his eyes watch you and the chopsticks laying on the wooden tray.
Ah.
You reach to take a bite. It's good, and oddly puts the man before you at ease.
"Before this, I was intending to leave sorcery."
He states it as if it is nothing. Your eyes bug out and he pauses, allowing for you to ensure you heard correctly.
"The higher-ups have a large amount of sway in Tokyo, I'm not sure about Kyoto, but they were not fond of this plan."
I can't imagine why that would be. You thought as you recalled the moment you had first seen this Nanami Kento.
It had been an annual meeting between the Kyoto and Tokyo branches. You had heard him refer to sorcery as "a pain". Had he been considering retirement even then?
You simply nod, listening quietly. "It was their intention to find me...a wife." He huffs, "Maintaining a life in sorcery was highly important to them."
Oh, you see. Perhaps he wasn't so different from you after all.
The higher-ups have only had one expectation for you, even since showing promise in the world of sorcery, even after moving up the ranks at Kyoto Metropolitan Curse Technical College. Your job was plain and simple.
To have babies.
Sorcerer babies.
Had they been so afraid of losing one sorcerer to the regular world that he was cornered into loveless marriage? All to keep him from departure? Was that why Gakuganji had been so immediate with his instatement of your husband?
"I see..." You nod once more.
"I would like to know your experience as well. What was it that they asked of you?" He had both hands laid flat on the makeshift table between the pair of you.
You consider what to say. "I...have known-" you try again, "My duty has been laid out for some time now." You tilt your head, he's squinting at you.
"Please. Just tell me. They... forced you - to - to do that?" He points his head in the direction of your room once more.
Now you're confused. You want to speak in a way that doesn't insult his intelligence but he's making is difficult for you. "Did you not... marry me for children?"
He chokes.
Coughing to clear his throat, he wipes his mouth. "That is not- eugh-" he tries again, "They cannot ask that of you. I will not do anything that you are not explicitly requesting of me." He pauses effecting a moment of silence before, "Do you understand?"
But you don't. "Mr. Nanami, are you... not expected to produce children? Is that not why you were chosen to be in this situation?"
He responds quickly and with precision, "I did not marry you for what you could give me. No."
You can't hold in your confused laugh, "Then...why?"
"Was it not the easiest for the both of us?" He smirks at you, his shoulders have eased only slightly after hearing your laugh, "I was informed that your other options were not the most savory."
"You knew you would be marrying me?" You ask, ignoring his reference to your suitors and flummoxed by how easy it is to speak comfortably with a man you had been so recently adverse to.
"Yes. I... cannot believe you were not provided the same..." He pauses, "I was under the impression that this was a mutual decision..."
"Oh." It's all you can say.
Nanami takes in a deep breath from across the couch cushions. "I'm sorry." And you really believe that he means it. "I would not have agreed if I knew." He forms a flat line with his lips.
"I think you're right, though..." He looks at you, addled, so you continue, “This was the easiest choice. I think so too." You're unsure of how else to conclude.
Your wedding dinner had not been what you would have expected and the night, unlike anything you could have predicted.
Nanami Kento, no matter how you denied and tried to shuffle from the bedroom, had sworn himself to a guestroom after collecting the night clothes laid out for him on the bedside table.
He had gently grabbed your shoulders, maneuvering you towards the bed and away from the exit. Pleading with you to remain in the master bedroom. Claiming that he had intended to sleep in a separate bedroom since the beginning.
Though you pulled at his arms to try and swap your standing, telling him adamantly to take the bigger of the bed options, he simply drew close to you, shifted farther from the door and blocked your sights. He lead you softly to the bed, and when you attempted to side step him and make your way to the guestroom, he took one arm, catching you by the waist, and swiftly lifted you from the floor.
"Please. Do not ask me again. Sleep here, alright? All of your things are here. I will be very comfortable in the guestroom."
And before you could get out any complaint, he had you placed upon the duvet. His hands were off you in an instant, but he remained looking in your direction as he backed to the door you had been fighting over.
"Do sleep well." His long strides had brought him to the rooms entrance with no delay, you were still caught up with the fact that he had lifted you like a sack of potatoes, with one arm no less. "We will likely have to arrange the...trip tomorrow."
The honeymoon, that's right.
He said it in a way that sounded like, 'just to warn you' or 'you should know'. But all you could reply with was, "Right."
"Right." He echo's, turning to walk through the door, and looks to you once more. "Sleep well." And there's your name again, leaving his lips as though you are long time friends.
"You too."
But the door has been silently shut.
His touch lingers on your waist from where he had lifted you. Not in the way your fathers hand would linger after he drug you to and from meetings, not the way his fingers would remain painfully on your neck after he would steer you into conference rooms. But rather, in an almost ticklish way.
You shiver.
And run your hands over your new duvet.
When you had made up your childhood bed and left this morning, you had listened to your mothers cries, sure that last night would be the last time you would have the peace of your own bed. Your heart swelled with the knowledge that you had been wrong.
Your fingers traced the stitching on the comforter. Swung your legs from the mattress, and almost-almost grinned.
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
tag list @longlivegojo @kitkatlover015 @l0v3rgirl-owo @smailaway (if your name is here but you didn’t get tagged. I think it’s either bc your blog is new/blank/empty or you need to check your privacy settings)
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fluff#jjk angst#nanami kento imagine#kento nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#nanami imagine#nanami fanfic#jjk nanami#jujutsu nanami#nanami x reader angst#nanami x reader#jujutsu kaisen nanami#nanami kento#kento nanami#nanami x you#kento nanami fluff#nanami fluff#nanami x y/n#jjk kento#nanami kento fluff#kento fluff#kento x reader#kento x y/n#kento x you#jujutsu kento#arranged marriage au#arranged marriage#jjk x y/n
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Arcane season 2 spoilers
/////
I have been thinking A LOT about Jayce and Viktor, mainly the scene where Viktor is reborn out of his pod of Hexcore.
Mainly because it means a lot for Viktor’s character. On a fundamental level, he never seen much worth in himself, but he did see worth in inventions, the things he made, it’s how he could prove himself to the world. This is why he becomes so concerned with his illness and the legacy he’ll leave behind on the world; he needs the Hexcore to work because he doesn’t have anything else.
But now, he is literally fused with his invention, his invention that he has grown to hate because it killed one of the only people who truly saw value in Viktor, and not the things he could, partly due to his own negligence. Viktor put it best, in his pursuit of greatness, he failed to do good.
He doesn’t really know how to process what happened to him at all, he’s a smart man, he can clearly deduce that his body has undergone some cybernetic change, he can probably remember the explosion in the council room, but other then that, he’s just confused, hence why he asks Jayce, “what am I?” Viktor’s body is entirely different and unfamiliar, and taking into context that the Hexcore, his greatest invention which he tied all his worth to, has failed before this, it’s likely Viktor had lost sight of who he was, and his new body only served to further that descent.
Jayce can’t think about any of that though, he’s just happy that his partner is alive and who wouldn’t be, he’d been waiting for days, possibly weeks for him to wake. Viktor’s mortality is one of the things that Jayce has struggled with the most in the series, which is what makes his survivor’s guilt so much more pertinent. A lot of people claim that Jayce grew up rich and coddled, and I think that’s true to an extent, but they forgot his family were workers, tool smiths. Jayce seemed to grow up with the idea that he wasn’t that fortunate, that he was a working, middle class man who was going to change the world, and then he meets Viktor, a “poor cripple from the Undercity,” and then he sees what the Undercity is really like and the conditions people live in. And that’s when Jayce realises; he had it good. I believe this is what encourages part of his admiration of Viktor; he is what Jayce thought he was.
Tangent aside, I feel that their hug is a very, very important moment, mainly because of Viktor’s reaction.
He isn’t relieved or uncomfortable, it’s just…nothing. Given what Viktor says about how he doesn’t feel that it’s cold and just recognises that it is cold, I believe this is the moment where it fully sank in how much his body had changed. He couldn’t feel Jayce.
And like, first off, that is such beautiful symbolism for what he says later about how they’re relationship was only held together by affection. Viktor physically cannot feel said affection anymore and know has no reason to stick by the side of someone whose views have become so contrasted to his. But more emotionally, it’s representative of Viktor’s belief that he is unloveable, his new body is merely proof at that, he can’t touch Jayce, he couldn’t save Sky, he couldn’t make the Hexcore work properly, he couldn’t even get Jayce to destroy the Hexcore. To himself, Viktor is a failure who is unworthy of love.
But, he still huge Jayce back. Despite not being able to feel Jaycee’s warmth anymore, despite it feeling like his whole life has crumbled, Viktor wants to give Jayce one last act of service. Perhaps to prove that he still has use, or maybe this was the moment where he decided he would have to part ways with Jayce, and just wanted Jayce to remember his touch, even if Viktor couldn’t remember his.
Anywho if enough people like this dribble, I may post my take on the rest of this scene because it shattered me
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane season two#arcane viktor#viktor#viktor arcane#jayce arcane#arcane jayce#jayce talis#jayvik
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Hii! I checked your pinned post but I couldn't find anything saying if you were taking requests at the time (or maybe I'm just blind, could be too), so feel free to ignore this if your requests are closed!!!
It's just that me and my friend had a silly conversation about Ateez sizes the other day, and now a new idea recently popped up in my head. So I was wondering:
Which members do you think are growers(size drastically changes when hard) VS showers(size doesn't change a lot)?
Grower VS Shower - Ateez Edition
A/N: I'm salivating at the thought of this and I have no idea why it's hitting me so hard. I didn't intend on making it an even split between all 8, but as I thought about who fit which category more, it just ended up that way. Please be sure to drop a like, reblog if you enjoyed it, and comment your favorite part! Happy reading!
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆───
Growers
Jongho - I think Jongho has a lot of girth already, but when he gets hard, it grows to be just the right size to hit all the right places.
Mingi - listen...I know this man is already big to begin with...but for some reason I can just see him getting hard and his size increases even more than it already is.
Yeosang - small and petite when normal, but when he's in the mood, it grows in size and width.
Seonghwa - like Yeosang, it's compact and easy to manage when not hormy but when he is it grows in size, not so much in girth.
Showers
Yunho - he's just big and he knows it. He's always ready to whip it out and show it to you whenever you need it.
Hongjoong - my sweet, lovely boy. I know his dick is already perfect. It doesn't take much for him to get in the mood so it's super convenient and always handy.
Wooyoung - may not have a lot of length, but I know his girth is perfect enough already to where you could bounce on it flaccid and it would still feel good.
San - similarly to Yunho, he's always ready to get it out for when you need him. The length of his dick before for hitting your sweet spot right when he bottoms out.
Tags: @pre1ttyies @isiloiale @moongoddess1982 @xuchiya @myloveforyunho @ywtfvs @meowmeeps @tinyelfperson @httpseungmxn @acupoftaewithsomesuga @tiredlittlevirgo @no1likevie @arki-sha @yeosangsbbg @sanipan @10nantscompanion @sugawara-levi @skzooluvr @hongjng8
#ateez#ateez smut#ateez x reader#kpop writers#ateez imagines#sugarnspice630ask#kpop#ateez fic#hongjoong smut#seonghwa smut#yunho smut#yeosang smut#san smut#mingi smut#wooyoung smut#jongho smut
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