#that's what i thought bitch ๐
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These bitches claim to love mike faist now but none of them were in the trenches like we were
#yes i logged back in after years just to say this#every time i see his face i get war flashbacks#you may have seen him in the bisexual movie but were you shipping him with his musical theatre costars in 2018?#that's what i thought bitch ๐
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You've established that Odile has rather unhinged taste in people. Do you have further headcanons on that topic?
Hm... Most of the adjacent headcanons that I could talk about here would require a lot of psychological and cultural context. So let's just talk about that context!
As a child, Odile was disconnected from her peers due to heritage, temperament, and latent transgenderism. As lonely children sometimes do, she decided that she didn't need or want friends anyway, and even if she did, it wouldn't be any of these losers! They were always wasting their time on fun and social useless things that she was too weird smart and special to be invited want to do. She studied very hard and excelled in school, did a couple extracurriculars that didn't require much teamwork, and at some point during adolescence realized that unfortunately the Vaugardians were correct about the changing genders thing.
Ka Buan philosophy encourages people to understand themselves, refine themselves, explore different facets of themselves โ but not change themselves, because fundamental characteristics simply cannot be changed. Accordingly, gender-noncomforming fashion and binding/padding and nicknames are fine, hormones and surgery/bodycraft and declaring yourself a different gender are not. But Odile wasn't one to let social mores stop her, so once she reached adulthood, she left her hometown and showed up at the city as Odile. And not just any city, but one with a reputation for cutting-edge craft research and certain countercultures.
You can't just show up and ask around for where the illegal bodycrafting is, though. You have to meet people, win their trust, let them introduce you to other people, repeat. Odile... honestly wasn't that great at it. She hadn't had much cause to practice social skills, so she wasn't very friendly or persuasive! But she was determined, thorough, confident, passionate, genuine in her intentions, and newly hot โ and you can get away with a certain amount of blunt arrogance when you're hot. You just have to let people assume you're too cool and busy for humble niceties, which Odile did quite easily, because she's always thought of herself as such. So she found her way through the right queer punk circles eventually and completed her physical transition!
And she liked those circles. The people she met and the topics they discussed and the things they did were all so much more interesting than she had assumed any peers of hers could be! But she still considered herself more competent and correct than anyone else around her, because why would that change just because she moved? Her success in transitioning just further proved that she could do anything if she tried hard enough, that she was right all along in assuming her social failures were due not to lack of skill but last of interest. So she ended up in this dynamic where she was impressed by the people around her and wanted to have fun with them and learn more about them, but also thought herself better than them and above such things as kindness or friendship.
And she was in that "holy shit I'm surrounded by dykes and I'm a dyke now too" stage that some queer people experience after they come out.
So, she wasn't interested in boring. She wasn't interested in nice. She wasn't interested in regular people with regular concerns, like the peers who excluded her in her youth. She wasn't interested in romance or committed relationships or being emotionally vulnerable.
And, she wasn't put off by annoyance, because people annoyed her as a whole anyway. She wasn't put off by danger, because she was sure she could handle anything. She wasn't put off by clashing personalities, because it wasn't like she was planning to go on long walks on the beach with any of her partners anyway.
Thus, she found herself drawn to the most exciting people in the room. Interpersonal drama, emotional outbursts, poorly-thought-out-choices, intense obsession, risky hobbies... it was all oh-so thrilling! Of course, she did realize that the people she was attracted to had major, glaring flaws. But Odile was determined, thorough, confident, passionate, genuine in her intentions, and newly hot. If she couldn't fix them, who could?
We know from Odile's optional sidequest that when she sees something suspicious, she dedicates herself to solving the mystery. We know from her presence at Mirabelle's side that when she sees a problem, she steps in to help, because if you want something done right you do it yourself. The one major exception? The topic that has her backing down, giving up, confessing incompetence?
Emotions.
She has long since learned that she is not actually very good at fixing those.
#odile: i am so much better than all these messy bitches#odile: [the messiest bitch of them all]#sometimes.. trying to fix them..... makes them worse#esp when you're observant and clever but not very experienced with social-emotional skills but not willing to admit your own faults#and also maybe have a biased view of what's even a problem to begin with#tbh tho i think she thinks she was worse than she really was#like people change each other all the time for good or for ill#she's not necessarily uniquely terrible for failing to have the exact effects on people that she was aiming for#plus she remembers the worst moments and assumes that's what she must have always been like#when sometimes she rly did have a net positive effect#and more often she had no lasting effect at all#she still thinks she's so special ๐#:3#isat#odile#isat odile#in stars and time#thoughts about odile#ask meme answers#thoughts
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you losers are so miserable itโs becoming UNBEARABLE
itโs like they watched the show eyes closed ears covered WHERE has media comprehension and analysis gone.
he didnโt sell drugs to any kids chrissy is literally an 18 year old. yโall are straight up just babying teen girls because ainโt nobody called out the basketball team for giving lucas enough alcohol to make him throw up. (also side note: 1, eddie very clearly does not ever sell ketamine which is why they had to go to his trailer, and even then he struggled to find it. weed is not bad either i canโt believe weโre having this discussion in 2022 still. 2, ket is literally an antidepressant, unlike weed which isnโt reliable enough to help depression)
nobody thought he was weird because he was friends with 14-15 year olds itโs cuz he likes metal and plays dnd like did you watch the show AT ALL. he was quite literally only friends with the freshman because he was the only person in the ENTIRE SCHOOL to be nice to them and they were APART of his CLUB.
also no one gets mad at steve for being BEST FRIENDS with dustin even though he an eddie are the same age. and eddie doesnโt even hang out with the kids outside of school, he barely even trusted dustin when he first found him in the boathouse.
itโs almost as if the whole character message was โdonโt judge people before you get to know themโ.
#eddie munson#stranger things#itโs the way i could write a whole essay on the lack of thought in social media#these bitches are so LAME itโs FICTIONAL heโs not REAL#just ruining my whole mood and for what ๐#steddie#tiktok no one likes u#and fuck twitter too like yโall are just ugly atp idk#chrissy cunningham
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Wow just fucking wow
I sent in a medical records request in october? To get life insurance through work (why not right?) And my stupid dr never sent them in.
WHY DID I JUST NOW GET A TEXT FROM THE INSURANCE COMPANY THAT THEY JUST RECEIVED MY RECORD?!?!?!??!?!
Fucking unbelievable
#marquilla#they give you like 60 days to get the records. this fucker took like double that. what the fuck.#he's such an incompetent dr as in his office is just so poorly structured that if you do not have them send something in#RIGHT THEN when youre there watching its a fucking toss up if it gets in#and i just never contacted them bc i felt it wasnt MY FUCKING JOB to make sure they got the request that I SENT THEM#and i said well if they get it and i get approved it was meant to be otherwise ill try again some other time.#honestly i only still go to him bc he gave me a disability parking card with no problems like i expected#he was like yeah sure ambulatory cane user yeah you have fibro and cfs mhm got it ๐๐#where i thought he'd be like weeeell do you REALLY need it? i mean you work without it... (bc i only do 4 hrs and can pace it)#but like god help you if you want a new rx for an inhaler for your well documented asthma ๐ had to ask my allergist the next time i saw him#like a year later and he was like... what have you been doing without one??? like bumming off mom sgdgdggdgdd and drinking warm water while#breathing very measured breaths like the school nurse made me like sgdggdgd im fine i just want to have a new script so i have refills and#fresh inhalers if i fucking need one but apparently my dr didnt think i did ๐ my allergist actually called in two shgdgdgd#he was like get this bitch TWO inhalers and an epipen NOW
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I forgot how fucking rude usamericans are like I was eating normally at the "restaurant" and a bunch of mormon missionaries came and did not greet. and whatever I shouldnt care that much but It fucking boiled my blood when everybody leaving or enetring would tell them "provecho" and they'll be like ๐๐๐ and say nothing to them... Like idk what to tell ya. It is costumary here to greet and if you don't speak the language or more importantly don't care about the manners you can fuck off to your shit hole country omfg
I was this close to tell them "se dice gracias pinche gringo mariconโ ๏ธโ ๏ธโ ๏ธ"
#like is astonishing to me realizing once more that usamericans dont have manners in general. and yeah couldnt care lees#but if youre in MY country you should fucking learn manners dude... like you come to neocolonize my stupid ppl qnd cannot be bother to fake#you care .. like even wo the cultural context how fucking braindead you have to be to just stand there with your stupid ๐๐๐ face while#everybody is trying to be kind to you and not trying to reciprocate... like bro. im sorry#i do believe usamerican parenting is dogshit but i refuse to believe everymother on united states is a rude bitch and didnt thought you#how to behave .. like wtf wtf wtf what a dhithole vounty yall live in
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By far my most irritating trait is my tendency to imprint on any competent person who is good at teaching. Which is fine! Except when itโs a man like what i admire this man? I want him to tell me im good at stuff???? Girl where is your fucking pride -_-
#ooh oh did Connor say good job?? calm down bitch i thought you were a feminist ๐#usually this is not an issue but this last month Iโve been slammed with not one but TWO men who i respect and itโs getting to be ridiculous#whatโs next? a third competent male pediatrician?? scott ur on thin ice please stay completely irrelevant to me
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Pretty sure management at my job didn't take me seriously when I said I was looking for another job because of their bullshit until I called in for several shifts (thanks for stressing me into physical illness, Job!!) and I guess they thought I found another job. Which I would have if that job interview went better, but fucking watch how serious I am about dropping your asses like a hot potato because as soon as I have a replacement job im not even giving two weeks notice- thats a courtesy not mandatory- so I'll call in quit and tell them to sit on a particularly prickly cactus and rotate.
The assistant manager of the store gave me some bullshit "doors open if you need it" and I didn't even bother to give a response that didn't sound like I came down with a sudden case of zombie because I made myself perfectly clear and got some of the most ignorant, condescending assed responses I've ever gotten from management and if they think they can treat me like that they've got another thing coming. I might be disposable to them but they're just as disposable to me and I've got no qualms up and quitting a job because the job is shit. I've done it several times before and it's a fucking joke to me that these people think they're THAT necessary in my life that they think I'll accept being a doormat for 45 hours a week while only getting paid for 39 thanks to the unpaid lunch ๐๐
#winters ramblings#sam needs to learn bot to fucking talk to me. i made myself clear to gim and he chose to tell me i take shit too personally#fuckung all but call me crazy to my face then fuck you what the fuck use to me do you think you are??#THREE people have quit this department since janice started. two people have found second jobs. im looking for another job#do you think theyve sat down and thought huh why is this department hemorrhaging staff at top speeds??#nope of course not theyd have to take responsibility for their ahit management for that to happen its all MY fault ๐๐๐#fine guys but when i call in done with your bullshit dont bitch
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unrelated to anything at all but as a kid I was soo so appreciative of shows about kids where at least one of them only had 1 parent. I wish every show with parents would add at least one single parent
#mostly bc i thought i was a fucking freak#because every single time i told someone i didnt have a father (like age 12 and under lol not adults)#theyd either like straight up think i was lying bc they didnt think it was possible#then after we learned about sex id get the 'well everyone HAS to have a father'#๐#the dude doesn't even know my mother got pregnant and i only know his name ive never even seen a photo#which i know is unique because most other kids i knew w 1 parent were either abandoned by the other or they died#but i never had one!! it confused me so much that people couldnt comprehend that!#i still get 'dont you mean your dad lol' when i say 'my sisters dad' like no bitch ive met him twice#any way other kids of single parents hollllaaaaaaaa#whats the best part of only having 1 parent??#first of all my friends dads were all ass so i was always like yeesh dodged a bullet#but when i had shit from school that had to be signed by both parents i didnt have to do all that. id just forge my moms!#so much easier to accurately replicate a signature when u only have to worry abt 1
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NOBODY TOLD ME THAT YUNOS YANDEREISM IS THE DRIVING FORCE FOR THE PLOT
#WHAT THE FUCK GUYS FUTURE DIARY IS SO GOOD#I THOUGHT THE YANDEREISM WAS LIKE A PUSSY SIDE THING THAT THEY WOULDNT CARE ABT#and probably make like ohhh actually the guy is way stronger than her still tho ๐#BUT THEYRE DOING IT SO GOOD#YUNO IS A CRAZY BITCH I WANT HER TO WIN#i heart yuno she should be the new god of time and space and hold yukoteru captive forever#girlypop!#me and bora watching future diary and being addicted asf#yukiteru you are so fail <3 continue to get carried
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bro shout out to ME. i was at lunch, my halfway friend got in line and i hate being alone in the cafeteria so i was with him. and he wasnt saying anything and i asked how his day was and he shrugged. and then i caught sight of the fire alarm behind him and decided to tell himย โi wonder what it would be like to actually pull the fire alarmโ and he looked at me like i was fucking crazy. took everything in me not to shove him.
#''you always say the most random shit'' yes. because you are not talking. i literally have to carry because you are so boring#bitch wears grey tracksuits and crocs everyday and thinks its a fit like tf#fuck highschool man. like he looked at me like i grew a fucking arm#this is normal casual conversation i thought#''well you're not talking''#'well i dont want to talk'' OK? just say that instead of telling me im fucking weird#anyway#i did not have a good 30 mibutes of lunch i sat in the cafeteria and read alone with burning anxiety#quite literallytold me i was fucking weird btw#like ok#what do i even want friends at school for im misunderstood#๐
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i don't get people who just insert themselves into others' plans....
#like i'm so baffled rn..#for context: my friend & i are going on a weekend trip to another city next week#she just texted me asking if a friend of hers who i don't know can come with us#apparently she told her about the trip & now she wants to come with us even though she doesn't know me???#at first my friend asked if she can stay in our hotel room & i said absolutely not like wtf????#then she asked if it's okay if she books her own hotel room & just hangs out with us...#i reluctantly said yes bc i don't want to be a bitch but like i can't be the only one who thinks this behavior is super weird??#like when someone tells me about smth they have planned my first thought isn't to ask if i can join??? idk this is so strange to me#idk if she's gonna be in the same train as us as well bc we booked everything weeks ago#i was really looking forward to this trip but now i'm kind of disappointed already..#my friend clearly thinks it's not a big deal but plan your own trip with her maybe???#idk am i overreacting?? this is an introvert's nightmare tbh ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ#like what if i don't get along with her?? and i end up like a third wheel bc maybe they're closer friends???#my first impression of her already isn't the best bc in all honesty who just inserts themselves into others' plans like that???#asking to stay in our hotel room??? like the audacity??? idk i could never#girl i was really looking forward to this trip but now i'm just worried i should've just said no but as always i have to be too nice ๐#โ๏ธ
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I cant believe she just said that hello
#post posting#all the desks in my english class are in groups of four#theres an even number of people#we had to do partner work#the girl next to me asked if she and the other two could be a group of three#are you kidding me#i was right there#what a bitch#i have no desire to be friends with her or anything#but i can guarantee you no has ever dome something like that to her#thats just mean#i thought we collectively grew oht of that shit in 8th grade#๐
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Had tickets to see Live tonight and my fuckin car broke down ๐คช๐คชso didnโt get to go
#we were literally 800ft from the venue. Two stop lights and a right turn away.#and then my stupid bitch ass car just stops moving. like my friend was pressing the gas and it wouldnโt move#he just looks over at me and says um bro itโs not moving#literally man we were so fucken close we drove the forty minutes to get there perfectly fine then literally one street away man Iโm so like#come on like bruh and then we got it to start again and get to the second light and guess what happens? it does it again. then we fix it n#get to the street and boom does it again. like just stops and wonโt move while weโre in the middle of the street n people are honking at us#we just try to find somewhere to park but canโt do we make it to the parking garage n it does it three more fuckin times and where on the#fucking sloped hill to even go into the lot while people are honking and shit n the car starts going backwards we manage to get up to the#third level still looking for a spot to just park and leave it n go to the concert anyways but nope it does it again so weโre stuck on this#dam slope in between level 3 n 4 and I canโt move my foot from the brake or it starts going backwards again. manage to get the emergency br#ake n have to wait the 40 minutes for my mom n brothers to come rescue us while we miss the whole concert. and guess fucking what? they com#and start it and drive it home with no problem.#man Iโm so like come onnnn this stupid bitch car couldnโt make it the 800ft and yet they get in n start it and drive it home perfectly fine#like bruh. thanks for that stupid 2018 hyundai also the fact that I literally only bought it in august like dude come on#and! Iโm moving into my very first apartment this weekend like I literally signed the lease on Wednesday what great timing#you bitches in league a the cosmic forces better not be cursing me or some shit#but my bff n I did get Dairy Queen to ease our struggles so maybe itโs not all bad#oh also I literally left work early for the concert too! they even asked me to stay and I said nope Iโm going to a concert sorry#so stupid ๐ starting to think maybe concerts that are far away may not be worth the struggle for me since last time we even had trouble w t#e maps n were driving on the wrong side of the road n shit cuz stupid iphone maps thought were were facing the other direction#but sadly we donโt have any venues here like we had one that was shut down cuz of christians n their complaints#anyways enough of my ranting I will make it to a concert this year even if I have to take a damn bus#m talks
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Lord knows I royally fucked up multiple times this semester and yet I prevailed
#๐พ๐#i forgot to submit a HUGE TASK which was gud for 25% ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ#I also forgot to submit the right version of my statistics exam which my lector mailed me and was like.... uhm ur file empty#i also thought i majorly fucked up a big exercise in my prototyping exam and rlly thought i was gonna fail#and not to mention my cad assignments which were also godawful ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ#i just cant believe it uknow now i can sleep a happy person#NOT new semester around the corner and theres so much to do ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐#new project new problems ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ LORD GIVE ME THE PATIENCE AND THE WILLPOWER#also i got a 7/20 for statistics LMFAOOOOOOOOO i knew i royally fucked up#i blame that exam for draining all my motivation and willpower cuz that was the first one and i as soon as i got out i was just like#the beta version that was online from last year WAS NOT AT ALL REPRESENTATIVE OF THAT EXAM he made it look so easy and i was like oh ok#and then i got the exam and i was like ??? ๐ง๐ง๐ง bitch what in the fuck
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THE HUSBAND
warning: female reader, saer beingโฆ.saer, yan!isekai!crown prince
a/n: i was so burnt out so lets see what i come up with โฆ.its short ik and yes im cooking up something w cynthia LET ME COOK ๐ซก๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ
the idea of divorce was swimming in the mist of your mind hours before you regained most of the movement in your body. you knew you had to get out of this situation in a peaceful but quick manner. in your mind, leaving saer should have been easy since he hated edina more than the devil himself. he saw her as a shit stain satan left on earth to torture him for all of his days. so why are tears running down his faceโฆthats odd? from all of the tweets, forums, and blogs saer had close to no emotions for edina. he hated her through and through. in the original story, he wouldโve cheered of joy if she simply asked to part ways. so why was he sitting in front of you crying? was the bacon too salty? was he remembering the good olโ times with his late father? ever since youโve transmigrated into this story, everything has been so weird. aside from you being close to perfectly fine after being fed poison, saer has became more careful.
in the book, saer was close to a bubbling idiot. every single assassination attempt was stopped by a maid because he was stupid. he always played it as cynthia and amanda favoring edina but that wasnt the full truth. he was just too obvious with everything he was doing. you actually kind of felt back for the dummy, no wonder gracie wants nothing to do with him. regardless of any of that, you actually started to feel a bit bad for him. it was obvious saer didnt know why he was crying or how to stop it by the way his face was balled up in red confusion. maybe it was out of guilt or for the plot, either way you wanted to help him. maybe he wanted to kill you but seeing a grown man cry really did break your heart.
โnow, saer..โ
gently pushing your hand out to cover his larger ones, you put on a voice of concern. you want to help the poor idiot but you also want to get out of this house alive. maybe playing the sweet docile wife could do you some good, maybeโ
โugh, stupid bitch get off of me.โ
slapping your hand off of his, saer attempted to keep a face of pure disgust plastered for you to see. why on earth was he crying, and why on earth are you being so off-putting? at first, your new actions didnt really bother him. were they different? yes, but they werenโt unpleasant. but now...it was as if the poison made you utterly indifferent to his presence, which he told himself he loved, but the lord knows thats a lie. you quietly sitting there, dry-face, with a slight frown and uninterested body language, angered him. saer was crying purely for reactions. he thought that crying would help him close this conversation and make you jump up and beg for his forgiveness, but no. all you did was lift your grimly, beastly fingers to โcomfortโ him. what a joke of a woman.
โim finished with my breakfastโ
the scream of the chair was louder than your own thoughts, kicking you out of your own subconscious. what even was that about? you were TRYING to be the version of edina you thought he would like, second from you killing yourself right there and then. so why was he acting like you were trying to jump his bones? he is such a wicked manโฆ.such a sad excuse of a person. its such a shame his attitude is so sour, you were going to try to soften his walls to see if he would lighten up on the poisoning situation. how did he get it? who did he get it from?
โmadam,โ
lightly placing her hand on your shoulder, cynthia appeared. scaring you out of your thoughts, you straightened your back and put on the best fake smile you could. you knew cynthia didnt really care for you, as demonstrated by the bath she gave you earlier, but you thought that maybe you could melt this ice queen. her soft ginger coils shaped her face in all the right places, giving her olive skin the type of glow women in the real world would kill for. she had green eyes to match alone with it, making it easy to find yourself lost in them. cynthia was a beautiful woman; just how did she become a maid for this jackass?
โhis royal highness has ordered for you to be sent to your room.โ
#female reader#yandere#yandere x reader#x reader#yandere oc#yandere crown prince#yandere isekai crown prince#yandere anime#yandere male#yandere male x reader#yandere oc x reader
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โ ๐ด๐ค๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ช. (๐ฎ๐ข๐บ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ท๐ช๐ญ๐ญ๐ฆ) ๐
โคท summary: saudi arabian and australian grands prix happen! y/n starts making vlogs for the races and it reveals more about her and a certain driver's feelings than she hoped, not that she notices. poor oscar's stuck in the middle of it all but he's trying his best!
โโโโโโ เผปโฉโโโพโโบโงเผบ โโโโโโ
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tagged landonorris and oscarpiastri
mclaren saudi arabia, you were beautiful even if the results weren't! ready for what's to come
12,567 comments
user1 admin not using a single nice photo of the drivers ๐ญ
user2 admin be honest is this your revenge era
mclaren well, yes!
user3 HELP MEEEE
user4 the way lando looks at her ๐ญ
user5 this is a place of business
user6 oscar looks petrified ๐
mclaren dw guys we're still training him!
oscarpiastri wtf why would u say it like that, i'm not a dog
mclaren full-time team mascot, part time driver
user7 admin drop the insta your so pretty ๐ญ๐ญ
user8 no literally, content of her WHERE
mclaren ynusername ๐คฒ๐ผ
user9 LETS FUCKING GO
user10 HER DISSING HER OWN TEAM ๐ THEY'RE GONNA FIRE YOU GIRL
mclaren they don't pay me to LIE
user11 CRAZYY
user12 LANDO IS NEVER GETTING A GOOD PIC EVER AGAIN ๐ญ
mclaren what can i say, i am no mans peace ๐ฅฑ
user13 icon
landonorris reporting you to hr
mclaren for what
landonorris idk harrassment or something
mclaren ok keyboard warrior, lets calm down ๐
user14 KEYBOARD WARRIOR HELEPSJSM
user15 i vote admin just takes over and we don't even get driver pictures
user16 real and true
user17 i fear we may have lost the plot
user18 thoughts on today's results
mclaren i'm trying to be positive in general but man
user19 LMAOOOOO
user20 ik the pr department is shaking in their boots after every post notif
mclaren probably! but unfortunately for everyone, i am going to keep doing whatever i want
user21 no more lando beef, mclaren admin?
mclaren i forget but i never forgive. i forgot why we were fighting but i stay hating bitches ๐ฅฑ
landonorris literally WHAT DID I DO
mclaren IDK BUT IK U PISSED ME OFF ๐ซต
oscarpiastri diabolical photo choice
oscarpiastri i look like a little kid on picture day
mclaren so basically your everyday look
oscarpiastri yk what you are making this work environment very hostile
mclaren i can make it more hostile if you want ๐คจ
oscarpiastri nevermind!!!
maxfewtrell most flattering lando picture i've seen in years
mclaren that's saying something isn't it ๐คฉ
user22 i went to haterville and they all knew you admin
mclaren they actually just elected me mayor there!!! ๐ช๐ป
โโโโโโ เผปโฉโโโพโโบโงเผบ โโโโโโ
liked by bsfusername, landonorris, and 17,800 others
ynusername if my admin duties don't kill me, i promise my caffeine addiction will! (:
3,422 comments
user23 be honest, how many coffees have you had today
ynusername 3!
user24 oh that's not that bad
ynusername +5
user24 JESUS CHRSUT
bsfusername at this point i think meth would be healthier
ynusername honestly yeah
ynusername thanks for the suggestion!!
user25 nooo admin don't do meth ur so sexy aha
ynusername that just made me want to do meth more
landonorris so what i'm hearing is buying you an espresso machine would get me in your good graces ๐
user26 oh brother here he goes
ynusername you must be deaf then
landonorris ๐ 2 espresso machines?
ynusername i don't want ur dirty espresso machines ๐
oscarpiastri now what car is that ๐ซต
ynusername SHHHHH
oscarpiastri TRAITOR
bsf2username when your not busy being super sexy on a race track, can we go thrifting and get sweetgreen and overpriced coffee ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ
ynusername this could've been an email, get this out of my comments ๐
ynusername but yeah obviously
user27 admin vlogs when ๐
ynusername SOON!!! very very soon
user28 mother feeding us once again
ynusername brb, adding single mom who works two jobs, loves her kids, and never stops to my resume
danielricciardo coffee recipe where?
ynusername in your dms now โผ๏ธ
danielricciardo is this flirting
ynusername no if i was flirting i would've told you to ask me in person, i'm just being charitable
landonorris can i get the coffee recipe too then ๐คฒ๐ผ
ynusername wdy want next, my mugs? keep on walking charity case
user29 CHARITY CASE IS CRAZYDFHAJ
user30 she's so effortlessly funny and mean i love her
user31 i feel like this is so unprofessional /:
ynusername babe professional where, you are on??? my personal?? account???
user32 maybe she's born with it, maybe it's the fact that she's consumed enough caffeine to tranquelize a horse
user33 oh please the horse would be dead
ynusername call an ambulance, BUT NOT FOR ME โผ๏ธ๐ช๐ป๐ฃ๏ธ
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ynusername posted to story!
(caption: melbourne vlog out now on youtube, go watch!!)
15,221 replies
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"This thing better be working," could be heard slightly muffled in between vague shuffling sounds. After a second or two of incoherent noise, the camera footage finally came on. Y/N smiled at herself in the camera as the recording light blinked to life, and raised her hand victoriously. She grabbed the smile microphone in front of her and laughed, "It looks like everything is working. Thank God, I wouldn't have known how to fix it otherwise."
"Alright everybody, welcome to the first race weekend vlog hosted by me! Your favorite McLaren admin and social manager. It took me forever to figure out how I wanted to go about this, but now I think I settled on a format that will work," She explained as she walked around the small, clean kitchen that was within frame of the camera. She pulled a glass jar out of her cabinets and left it on the counter before pulling a jug of cold brew and a cartridge of milk out of her fridge.
"It is currently 7:30 A.M on March 29th, and I have a flight to Melbourne in 3 hours. I'm already packed and ready for this weekend, but I wanted to get an introduction filmed and I wanted to take a shower before I left." Y/N paused for a moment as she poured the coffee into her mason jar until she seemed satisfied and began to add some milk. "I am totally exhausted so this is probably cup one of like," she laughed, "I don't know seven probably. And this is a pretty big jar I won't lie."
"The race weekend doesn't technically start until Friday, so I'll be getting there a bit early, but I wanted to film some content before the race weekend gets really hectic, so McLaren is sending me a little bit earlier. I'm excited though! I love the heat, even if I live in London the antithesis of Australian weather," she taste-tested her coffee and hummed in delight.
"God I really never miss with this stuff," she said contently. "Anyway, it's a bit of an early start today, but I'll have plenty of time to sleep on the fight. I mean can you believe that London to Melbourne is a nearly 22 hours," she scoffed. "I vote that we start making all of the races in one place so I don't have to feel jet lag more painful than the force of 1,000 suns every other weekend. Not that I'm complaining," she chuckled awkwardly, "I love my job McLaren please don't fire me."
Abruptly an orange tabby cat came into the frame of the camera, causing Y/N to abruptly grab her glass jar in the hopes of avoiding a mess. She gasped, but laughed as the cat scampered off as quickly as it had come. She shook her head fondly.
"That, ladies and gentleman, was Cali! My cat. She's literally my baby, and I love her more than anything else on this earth. However, she does have an affinity for hitting things off of counters and breaking them. She also hates men and nearly all other animals, so she's basically the world's biggest hazard to society. She's a good girl, I love her." Y/N explained between sips of coffee as she stared wistfully past the the frame of the camera, where it could be assumed Cali had gone.
Abruptly an alarm went off and Y/N threw her head back with a groan.
"That means I have to get in the shower and get ready so I can leave on time," she said, before taking a few more sips of coffee. "I'm going to go do that, and the next time you'll hear my beautiful voice will be at the Melbourne Airport! Cue the travel montage!"
An assortment of clips follow. Y/N is seen dragging her luggage through Heathrow Airport. Y/N is seen ordering another coffee at the airport, finishing the coffee, and ordering another before her flight. Y/N is seen responding to emails from her airplane seat, editing video footage, and responding to instragram and twitter comments. Footage is shown outside the plane window of a cloudy, blue sky and a time lapse is shown as the sky grows beautiful shades of pink and red before becoming a starry-night sky. Y/N is seen cozy in a throw blanket and a travel pillow, presumably asleep with headphones on. Y/N is shown pulling her luggage through the airport once again, with a brand new coffee cup in hand. She smiles, taking a sip before she is seen settled down in a seat in the bustling airport.
"Twenty-two or so hours later and I have finally landed in Melbourne. I'm waiting for my Uber to get here so I can finally be taken to my hotel to drop my stuff off. I have a meeting with the McLaren drivers in two hours, but luckily I slept really well on the plane. I don't know how else I would be able to deal with Lando Norris. I'm going to finish this coffee in order to maximize my tolerance for the next few hours, but I suspect I'll be getting a new coffee before I reach that meeting. My addiction truly knows no bounds," she laughs, trying to ignore the people vaguely shown within frame that are staring at her speaking to a camera.
The camera cuts abruptly and the waiting screen from SpongeBob flashes on the screen, including the narrator's voice reading "2 hours later."
Y/N is shown once again in new clothes, a new coffee cup in hand, and luggage replaced by a small canvas bag. Her comfortable plane clothes have been swapped out for jean shorts and a plain white tank-top. Her hair is clipped back out of her face, and she is adorned with simple gold jewelry and light makeup.
Y/N smiles at the camera as she walks, bustling and talking heard around her, before whispering into the small microphone, "I have arrived at the McLaren garage. It is now time to meet with Lord Lando and workplace mascot Oscar Piastri," the titles slip off her tongue sarcastically and she doesn't bother suppressing an eye-roll.
In the next clip, Oscar and Lando are seen seated on either side of her as they sit in what seems like a board-room. Lando leans over and whispers something that the camera doesn't pick up and Oscar laughs while Y/N grimaces and reaches forward to readjust the camera. When the camera comes back on, Lando and Oscar are seated together on the left of Y/N as she faces on angle toward both them and the camera.
"Don't just sit there and look pretty, say hello to the camera boys," Y/N says and Oscar cackles at the disgruntled look on Lando's face.
"Is that your way of calling me pretty Y/N," Lando chokes out between laughs, and Y/N scoffs with an eye-roll.
"I was actually talking about Oscar, but whatever floats your little papaya boat Norris," Y/N deadpans and Oscar doubles over from the force of his laughter at the pout on Lando's face.
"That's not nice at all, I hope you know that. I think I am sitting here very prettily, thank you very much," Lando says, leaning into the girl next to him to speak into her microphone.
Y/N draws the microphone back, swatting him away, "Yes, yes quite prettily," Y/N mocks in a British accent.
Oscar, still trying to recover, joins in, "Pretty little Lando Norris," and Y/N laughs jovially, reaching across Lando as if the boy weren't there to high-five the Austrialian driver.
"Bullies, the lot of you," Lando mumbles and Y/N brushes off his comment without response before finally facing the camera.
"Anyway, welcome to the first McLaren race weekend vlog. I'm Y/N L/N, the best media manager in the whole god damn world, and this is Lando Norris, the biggest pain in my ass, and Oscar Piastri, the second biggest pain in my ass. How are you feeling about Melbourne boys?" Y/N questions, transitioning smoothly much to the British driver's chagrin.
"Feeling proud to be the second biggest pain in the ass and not the first. Probably the only time i've been glad to get second actually," Oscar comments and Y/N laughs as Lando shakes his head in disappointment.
"But in all seriousness it is good to be home, this is easily my favorite race of the year seeing as it's my home race and i'm looking forward to, hopefully, good results from our team," Oscar supplies and Y/N nods along to his words.
"Yes, Australia, we are in you and we are happy about it," both boys choked out a laugh at the manager's sexual innuendo and Oscar quickly covered his mouth with his hand so as not to react too much. "What about you Lando what are you feeling," Y/N questioned, leaning the small microphone to the boy.
"Feeling like that was a stupid joke. And also like I am going to be getting P1 this weekend. I can feel it in my bones."
"Leave my jokes alone Lando, you're not being paid to be a critic," she scoffed, "and if I recall, you said the same thing in Saudi Arabia not that long ago. What's changed now?"
Lando rolled his eyes, "What's changed is that we're in Australia now and I'm feeling much more confident."
"Well thank god for that," Y/N supplied unhelpfully as Oscar laughed.
"Now, what we really came here for, it's time to film a video for this channel, it's going to be a fan Q and A, I picked the questions. By the time this vlog is up, the QnA should've already been posted. So feel free to stop watching this and to go watch that or whatever," Y/N commented. "After that we're going to film a TikTok challenge," both and Lando and Oscar grimaced, but Y/N ignored their dismay at the idea of fiming yet another TikTok, so cue the montage! Filming time!" Y/N exclaimed and the screen transitioned to a new series of clips.
In the first clip Oscar and Lando were sitting in two chairs while Y/N sat across from them with a set of notecards.
"Lando, this question from user "ln4mania" asks, "Are you and admin actually friends? Or is the online beef real? The people demand answers!" Y/N reads off with a laugh.
"Do you hear that, the people demand answers Lando! Don't keep them waiting!" Oscar and Y/N laugh as Lando shakes his head and tucks his face into his hands.
"There is no beef, guys. Me and admin, or rather me and Y/N are just fine. We hadn't even actually met when that happened," Lando supplied between laughs. Y/N looked at the camera and rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, faux-disagreeing with the boy.
She ignored the simmering pit of disappointment in her stomach. She did in fact have a problem with entitled little Lando Norris who still gave her side-eyed looks and judgmental stares whenever he saw her. If that wasn't humiliating enough, Oscar had clearly noticed it too, which just gave Y/N the feeling that she wasn't being taken seriously at all now that Oscar understood Lando's lack of respect for Y/N. However that didn't matter in the current moment. All that mattered was making this video.
The next clip showed Lando and Oscar sitting at a table with bowls of water in front of them and towels strewn across a chair just within frame of the camera. Y/N stood behind them, hands rested in their hair as she reacted to the prompts being read by someone, an unnamed media intern, off-camera.
"Who is harder to make videos with?" The intern asked and Y/N huffed out a laugh as she let her hands fully grasp Lando's curls and push him into the water quickly. He sputtered, trying to blink the water out of his eyes as Y/N laughed at the wet-puppy dog look he was sporting.
Y/N tried to shake the ridiculous desire to let her hands run through the soft curls underneath her finger tips. Curse Lando and whatever stupidly good, rich-person hair routine he used that made him smell good and look good, and... whatever.
Lando, blinking water out of his eyes, was now undoubtedly certain that being damn-near waterboarded was worth it if it meant that Y/N would laugh like that again. He knew Oscar would harass him again later for being "down-bad" or something along those lines- as he had done every time he caught the man staring-, but as he caught a glimpse of Y/N's bright smile and shaking shoulders, he found he didn't really care.
The next clip showed Oscar, Lando, Y/N, and a laughing media intern as they all dried off- somehow all having become wet through the course of filming. Y/N dried herself off quickly, taking a sip of her newly refilled coffee, not seeing the way that only the camera and Oscar saw Lando stared at her until the driver was nudged back into focus on drying himself off.
A title-card once again came on the screen with white words on a photo collage of Australian grand-prix candids that Y/N had taken, reading "Race montage? More likely than you'd think."
Footage was shown of the free practice sessions. Oscar and Lando getting in and out of their cars. Engineers along the pit wall going over data. The team speaking incoherently, going over the game plan for Sunday's race. Oscar and Lando greeting fans, signing merch, and posing for photos. Y/N smiling and waving at a cheering crowd of people before staring at the camera incredulously with a small caption reading: "Omg she's famous your honor". More clips showed Lando laughing as Oscar tossed grapes and Lando moved to catch them with his mouth. Lando nearly choking as Y/N cackled in the background. Multiple clips showing Y/N with a fresh coffee, and another... and another, as Oscar's face in the background grew with concern. Zak Brown explaining to Y/N the dangers of caffeine overdose, and the need for moderation. Y/N explaining to Zak Brown that without coffee she would simply collapse and die, which the camera showed did nothing to ease her concern. Y/N getting caps signed by the drivers for fans and walking away with intricate friendship bracelets decorating her wrists.
And finally footage of the race. The engineers in the garage. The pit-crew changing tires. The cars racing past as Y/N watched attentively. Footage of the crowd as they cheered when the cars whizzed past. Smiling faces of fans. Y/N's cheers as Oscar and Lando passed. The smiling faces of McLaren employees as Lando and Oscar crossed the checkered flag in P6 and P8 respectively.
Y/N accepting hugs from both drivers, ignoring the burning sensation in her stomach as Lando wrapped his arms around her with a smile and a laugh. Y/N calling Lando smelly and telling him to go wash off if he wants to hug her next time, and him rolling his eyes at her fondly before making a face at the camera. The podium celebration is shown and Y/N smiles as the anthem plays, even though it's not for her own team.
The final clip is shown of Y/N in her hotel room, comfortable in sweats as she sits on the unmade bed.
"Not bad results this week guys! P6 for Lando and P8 for Oscar, which are good points for the team. I'm happy on my end, I think we got some good content filmed, and I am now ready to go to sleep so I can get home to Cali and my own bed quicker. I hope you enjoyed this video, and if you didn't don't tell me because I don't care!" Y/N jokes with a smile.
"Hopefully I will see you all at the next race, if not the race after that! Bye papaya fans, and be sure to follow us on instagram and all of the other social platforms!" Y/N exclaimed, gesturing to the list of the social media handles that appeared on her right hand side.
And with that, the camera cut to black.
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, and 29,145 others
ynusername afraid to report that i fought jetlag and lost ๐ i did sleep for 25 hours straight after melbourne and i had no clue where i was when i woke up! shout out cali for waking me up ๐๐ผ best friend frl
9,547 comments
bsfusername i'm going to try not to be offended by that caption (love you bb cali) but FUCK YOU CAUSE I BOUGHT YOUR ASS BREAKFAST
ynusername my bad! s/o to that bomb ass omlette ๐คฉ
bsfusername never doing shit for you again
user34 that vlog was god tier, how long did that take
ynusername it took 7 hours of editing and years off my life, thanks so much for asking ๐ฅณ
maxverstappen1 thanks again for those podium photos! you have a gift for photography ๐ช๐ป
ynusername don't mention it! ๐๐ผ
ynusername (no seriously, mclaren might behead me)
mclaren beheading is so last year. firing squad. ๐ฃ๏ธ
user35 not y/n threatening herself ๐
oscarpiastri suprised your body didn't naturally wake up for coffee
ynusername it did! just 25 hours later
user36 your poor cat was literally starving for a whole day? youre a horrible owner
ynusername let me introduce you to god's greatest creation: the automatic feeder!!! i'm sure they can mail one to whatever fucking rock you live under!
user37 PERIODDDD
user38 me personally? i'd never log on again
user39 she needs a personal channel ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ i'd subscribe
user40 her cat is so cute ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ gimme that
ynusername ๐ซต STAY BACK HEATHEN, NO ONE TOUCHES CALI AND LIVES
user40 my bad fam ๐ง๐ปโโ๏ธ
user41 i want someone to love me as much as she loves that mean ass cat
landonorris don't you have a job to be doing ๐๐ she slept through a full work day
user42 lando always on her ass and for whattttt
user43 obsessed obsessed obsessed
ynusername i had the day off! but not the guy who was streaming video games coming for me ๐ฅฑ talking bout get a job
user44 lando and y/n beefing on insta again? we're so back
user45 at this point instagram comment beef isn't enough, they need to duel or some shit
user46 the caffeine addiction almost got her guys
ynusername i wish it would, then i wouldn't have to work with lando's annoying ass
landonorris I CAN SEE YOUR COMMENTS???
ynusername THAT'S THE POINT
user47 honestly just give her a gun atp, these men test her too damn much
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user48 NURSE ๐ซต SHE'S RIGHT HERE
user49 no fr, like let's get back to bed grandma
user50 OP, are you concussed?
user51 no actually cause didn't y/n just say she wanted to khs working with him ๐๐
pastryboy81 that sign can't stop me, because i can't read!
user53 OK I ACTUALLY SEE THE VISION
user54 ARE YOUR EYES CLOSED???!1!1
user55 i fear i totally get it ๐
user56 it's giving enemies to lovers, secret relationship type vibe lowkkkk
user57 no deadass like he hugged her reallll tight
user58 she also hugged oscar ๐ญ๐ญ?? and he has a whole gf
user59 the way she shoved him off and told him he reeked not 5 seconds after ๐ delusion is a disease yall
user60 someone call the f1 gossip pages cause ๐
user61 more like someone call the ward cause somethings real off with yall ๐คจ
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sorry that this update took forever, i had surgery and recovery has been rougher than i expected! hope you enjoy!!
please leave your thoughts in the comments and feel free to drop a request for your fav in my asks <3
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๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ก๐๐จ๐ฉ
@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666
#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#formula 1#f1#f1 smut#f1 x you#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 smau#lando norris smau#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris#lando norris imagine#racew1nn3rs#racew1nn3rs: fake it till you make it
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