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borisbubbles · 4 years ago

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Character analysis: Vivienne de Fer (Dragon Age Inquisition)

So, if you’ve wondered where I popped off to the past two months or so, I’m going to give you an answer - I finally bought Dragon Age Inquisition (legit on my gaming wishlist since its 2014 release) and I’ve been obsessed with it ever since.

The main draw to this game however, isn’t so much the gameplay (if you want a game that feels similar but has better gameplay - Assassin’s Creed Odyssey is what you’d want instead), but the storytelling and particularly the character development are top notch. All nine companions are fascinating and fleshed out in such a realistic manner I’m still gasping in awe on my fifth playthrough. Thus, a post on it is in order. It’s a bit different from my usual content, but don’t let that discourage you - clearing my head from Dragon Age will allow me to let Eurovision back in and continue my unfinished 2020 ranking. In this post, I will be analyzing one of DAI’s most interesting characters - none other than Madame de Fer herself, Vivienne. Now, I’m under the impression that this is a rather unpopular opinion but I absolutely love Vivienne. And no, I won’t apologize for it. As a Templar-thumping elitist with a icy, sardonic demeanor the sheer ‘Idea Of A Vivienne’ is meant to make your head spin. Dragon Age has always been a franchise in which mages are a socially surpressed group and to be confronted with a socially confident enchantress who likes Templars and seemingly supports the social shunning out of her own ambition is the walking embodiment of flippancy.

and yet, I feel a lot of sympathy for Vivienne.

Yes, she’s a bitch. She knows she’s one and she’s a-ok with it. I won’t argue with that. Sadly, the “Vivienne is a bitch” rhetoric also drastically sells her short. Vivienne is highly complex and her real personality is as tragic as it is twisted.

Madame de Fer

So let’s start with what we are shown on the surface. Vivienne is a high-ranking courtier from an empire notable for its deadly, acid-laced political game. She seemingly joins the Inquisition for personal gain, to acrue reputation and power, and eventually be elected Divine (= female pope) at the end of the game. She presents herself as a despicable blend of Real Housewife, Disney Villain, and Tory Politician, all rolled into one ball of sickening, unctuous smarm. Worse, the Inquisitor has no way to rebuke Vivienne’s absurd policies and ideas. You can’t argue with her, convince her to listen to your differing viewpoints or even kick her out the Inquisition. She has a way with words where she can twist arguments around in such a fashion that she lands on top and makes the other person look like the irrational party.

“Thus speaks the Inquisitor who has made so many mature and level-headed choices so far. Such as releasion malcontents upon the population without safeguards to protect them should they turn into abominations. Very wise. I rearranged some furniture. Lives aren’t thrown into jeopardy by my actions. Perhaps a little perspective is needed.”

She’s Cersei Lannister on creatine, Dolores Umbridge on motherfucking roids. If you look at merely the surface, then yes, Vivienne looks like the worst person ever created. I love a good anti-villainess however, and she’s definitely one.

Yet, she never actually does anything ‘evil’? Yes, she is ‘a tyrant’ as a Divine, but 1) the person saying this is Cassandra, whose dislike for mage freedom is only matched by her dislike of being sidelined 2) Divine Vivienne isn’t bad to mages either? (hold that thought, I’ll get to it). She never actually sabotages the Inquisition, no matter how low her approval with the Inquisitor gets. She never attempts to stop them, no matter how annoyed she is. She’s one of the most brutally honest companions in the cast, in fact. (It always surprises me people call her a ‘hypocrite’ - you keep using that word and it doesn’t mean what you think it means.) The ‘worst’ display of character is when she attempts to break up Sera and the Inquisitor and even then - are we going to pretend Sera isn’t a toxic, controlling girlfriend with a huge chip on her shoulder? I love Sera, but come on.

Vivienne is a character where the storytelling rule of Show, Don’t Tell is of vital importance. The Orlesian empire is an empire built around posturing and reputation. Nobody really shows their true motivations or character, and instead builds a public façade. It’s like how the Hanar (the Jellyfish people) in Mass Effect have a Public name they use in day-to-day life, and a Personal Name for their loved-ones and inner circle. Vivienne’s ‘Public Visage’ is that of Madame de Fer - this is the Vivienne who openly relishes in power, publicly humiliates grasping anklebiters with passive-aggressive retorts, the woman who is feared and loathed by all of Orlais, and this is the Face you see for most of the game.

The real beauty of Vivienne’s character and the reason why I love her as much as I do (which is to say - a LOT) are the few moments when - what’s the phrase DigitalSpy love so much - Her Mask Slips, and you get a glimpse of the real woman underneath the hennin.

This is the Vivienne who stands by you during the Siege of Haven and approves of you when you save the villagers from Corypheus’s horde.

This is the Vivienne who comforts you when you lament the losses you suffered.

This is the Vivienne who admires you for setting an example as a mage for the rest of Thedas.

This is the Vivienne who worries about Cole’s well-being during his personal quest, momentarily forgetting who or what he is.

This is the Vivienne who, when her approval for the Inquisitor reaches rock bottom, desperately reminds him of the suffering mages go through on a day-to-day basis because of the fear and hatred non-mages are bred to feel towards them and how this can spiral into more bloodshed without safeguards.

This is the Vivienne who shows how deep her affection for Bastien de Ghislain truly is, by bringing you along during his dying moments. I love this scene btw. This is the only moment in the entire game where Vivienne is actually herself in the presence of the Inquisitor - needless to say, I consider anyone who deliberately spikes her potion a motherfucking psychopath ^_^)

“There is nothing here now” fuck I *almost* cried at Vivienne, get out of my head BioWare, this is WRONG -- people who delude themselves this is an irredeemable character.

So, who is Vivienne really?

Understanding Vivienne requires recognizing that the mask and the real woman aren’t the same person. I think her relationship with Dorian is the prime example of this. I love the Vivienne/Dorian banter train, obviously - an unstoppable force of sass colliding with an unmovable wall of smarm is nothing short of a spectacle. However, there’s more to it than their highly entertaining snipes. As the incredibly gifted son of a magister, Dorian represents everything Vivienne should despise, and should be a natural enemy to her. And yet, she doesn’t and he isn’t.. Their gilded japes at each other are nothing more than verbal sparring, not dissimilar to how Krem and Iron Bull call each other names when they beat each other with sticks. In what I think is one of the most brilliantly written interactions between characters in DAI, I present Vivienne’s reaction when the Inquisitor enters a romance with Dorian:

Vivienne: I received a letter the other day, Dorian. Dorian: Truly? It's nice to know you have friends. 🙄 Vivienne: It was from an acquaintance in Tevinter expressing his shock at the disturbing rumors about your... relationship with the Inquisitor. Dorian: Rumors you were only too happy to verify, I assume. 🙃 Vivienne: I informed him the only disturbing thing in evidence was his penmanship. 🙂 Dorian: ...Oh. Thank you. 😳 Vivienne: I am not so quick to judge, darling. See that you give me no reason to feel otherwise.

Madame de Fer can never be seen directly expressing approval to a relationship between the Herald of Andraste and an ‘Evil’ Tevinter ’Magister’. By this subtle, subtle conversation, Vivienne indirectly tells Dorian that she considers him a good match for the Inquisitor and approves of the romance. It’s one of those reasons why I could never truly dislike Vivienne - between the layers of elegant poison lies a somewhat decent woman who never loses sight of the bigger picture. Not a good person maybe, but not one without some redeeming qualities.

The crux of Vivienne’s personality is that she, like all DAI companions, is a social outcast. She’s a mage in a fantasy setting where mages are psionically linked to demons, and grew up in a country where the majority religion has openly advocated the shunning and leashing of mages (’Magic exists to serve man’ - the Chantry is so, so vile in this game.). Vivienne’s “gift” was discovered so early in her life that she can barely remember her parents. Vivienne grew up in a squalid boarding school, learning from a young age that she’s dangerous and her talents need to be tamed and curbed. She is also terrified of demons, as her banters with Cole point out:

Cole: You're afraid. You don't have to be. Vivienne: My dear Inquisitor, please restrain your pet demon. I do not want it addressing me. Inquisitor: He's not doing any harm, Vivienne. Vivienne: It's a demon, darling. All it can do is harm. Cole: Everything bright, roar of anger as the demon rears. No, I will not fall. No one will control me ever again. Cole: Flash of white as the world comes back. Shaking, hollow, Harrowed, but smiling at templars to show them I'm me. Cole: I am not like that. I can protect you. If Templars come for you, I will kill them. Vivienne: Delightful. 😑

Vivienne’s Harrowing is implied to have been such a traumatizing event to her that she’s developed a pavlovian fear of demons ever since. (Hence her hostility towards Cole.). Vivienne is fully aware of the inherent dangers of magic, and projects this onto all other mages.

Besides, given how Dragon Age has a history with mages doing all sorts of fucked up shit, ranging from blood magic, murder, demonic possession and actual terrorism (yes, *ElthinaBITCH* had it coming, but let’s not pretend like Anders/Justice was anything other than a terrorist), Vivienne’s policies of controlled monitoring and vigilance are actually significantly more sensible than the options of ‘unconditionally freeing every mage all over Thedas’ and ‘reverting back to the status quo before the rebellion’. They’re flawed policies, obviously. When Vivienne says “mages” she pictures faceless silhouettes foremost and not herself. Regardless, unlike Cassandra and Leliana, Vivienne is aware of the fear others harbour for her kind, and how hard it is to overcome such perceptions.

Additionally, Vivienne’s a foreigner. She is an ethnic Rivaini, a culture associated with smugglers and pirates (Isabela from DAO and DA2 is half-Rivaini). This adds an additional social stigma, again pointed out by Cole:

Cole: Stepping into the parlor, hem of my gown snagged, no, adjust before I go in, must look perfect. Vivienne: My dear, your pet is speaking again. Do silence it. Cole: Voices inside. Marquis Alphonse. Cole: "I do hope Duke Bastien puts out the lights before he touches her. But then, she must disappear in the dark." Cole: Gown tight between my fingers, cold all over. Unacceptable. Wheels turn, strings pull. Cole: He hurt you. You left a letter, let out a lie so he would do something foolish against the Inquisition. A trap. Vivienne: Inquisitor, as your demon lacks manners, perhaps you could get Solas to train it.

This is the only palpable example of the casual racism Vivienne has to endure on a daily basis - Marquis Alphonse is a stupid, bigoted pillowhead who sucks at The Game, but remember - Vivienne only kills him if the Inquisitor decides to be a butthurt thug. She is aware that for every Alphonse, there are dozens of greasy sycophants who think exactly like he does, and will keep it under wraps just to remain in her good graces.

Finally, there’s the social position Vivienne manufactured for herself, which is the weak point towards her character imo. Remember, this woman is a commoner by birth. She doesn’t even have a surname. Through apparently sheer dumb luck (or satanic intervention) she basically fell into the position of Personal Mage to the Duke of Ghislain. Regardless, ‘Personal mages’ were the rage in Orlesian nobility, and the prestigious families owned by them like one may own a pet or personal property. By somehow becoming Bastien de Ghislain’s mistress and using his influence, "Madame de Fer�� liberated herself from all the social stigmata which should have pinned her down into a lowly courtier rank and turned the largely ceremonial office of “Court Enchanter” into a position of respect and power. This is huge move towards mage emancipation by the way, in a society where, again, Mages are feared and shunned and are constantly bullied, emasculated and taught to hate their talents. Vivienne is a shining example of what mages can become at the height of their power. Power she has, mind you, never actually abused before her Divine election. Vivienne’s actions will forever be under scrutiny not because of who she is, but because of what she is. The Grand Game can spit her out at any moment, which will likely result in her death.

Inquisitor: “You seem to be enjoying yourself, Vivienne?” Vivienne: “It’s The Game, darling. If I didn’t enjoy it, I’d be dead by now.”

Whether Vivienne was using Bastien for her own gain or whether she truly loved him isn’t a case of or/or. It’s a case of and/and. The perception that she was using Bastien makes Vivienne more fearsome and improves her position in the Grand Game, but deep down, I have no doubts truly loved him. Remember, Vivienne’s position at the Orlesian court was secure. She had nothing to gain by saving Bastien’s life, but she attempted to anyway. That Bastien’s sister is a High Cleric doesn’t matter - Vivienne can be elected Divine regardless of her personal quest’s resolution. She loved him, period.

No, I don’t think Vivienne is a good person. She treats those she deems beneath her poorly, like Sera, Solas, Cole and Blackwall (characters I like less than Vivienne), which I think is the #1 indicator for a Bad Personality. But I don’t think she qualifies as ‘Evil’ either and I refuse to dismiss the beautiful layering of her character. I genuinely believe Vivienne joined the Inquisition not just for her personal gain, but also out of idealism, similar to Dorian (again, Cole is 100% correct in pointing out the similarities between Dorian’s and Vivienne’s motivations for joining, as discomforting it is to her).

In her mind, Vivienne sees herself as the only person who can emancipate the mages without bloodshed - her personal accomplishments at the Orlesian court speak for themselves. Vivienne isn’t opposed to mage freedom - she worries for the consequences of radical change, as she believes Orlesian society unprepared for the consequences. Hence why she’s perfectly fine with a Divine Cassandra. Hence why her fellow mages immediately elect her Grand Enchanter of the new Circle.

Hence why Vivienne is so terrified by the Inquisitor’s actions if her disapproval gets too low. The Inquisitor has the power to completely destroy everything she has built and fought for during her lifetime. Remember: Vivienne’s biggest fear is irrelevance - there’s no greater irrelevance than having your life achievements reverse-engineered by the accidental stumbling of some upstart nobody. This is the real reason why she joins, risks her life and gets her hands dirty - the only person whose competence Vivienne trusts, is Vivienne’s own.

Even as Divine Victoria, I’d say she’s not bad, at all actually. Vivienne has the trappings of an an Enlightened Despot, maintaining full control, while simultaneously granting mages more responsibility and freedom, slowly laying the foundations to make mages more accepted and less persecuted in southern Thedas. Given that Ferelden is a feudal fiefdom and Orlais is an absolute monarchy, this is a fucking improvement are you kidding me. (Wait did he just imply Vivienne is secretly the best Divine - hmm, probably not because Cass/Leliana have better epilogues - but realistically speaking, yes, Viv should be the best Divine and it’s bullshit that the story disagrees.)

Underneath the countless layers of smarm, frost and seeming callousness, lies a fiercely intelligent and brave woman, whose ideals have been twisted into perversion by the cruel, ungrateful world around her. Envy her for her ability to control her destiny, but know that envy is what it is.

The flaw in Vivienne’s character isn’t so much the ‘tyranny’ or the ‘bitchiness’ or the 'smarm’. Her flaw is her false belief that she is what the mages need the most. Her belief that her competence gives her the prerogative to serve the unwashed mage masses... by ruling over them. For all intents and purposes, Vivienne is an Orlesian Magister and this will forever be the brilliant tragedy of her character. She was created by a corrupt institution that should, by all accounts fear and loathe her but instead embraced her. It’s that delirious irony that makes Vivienne de Fer one of the best fictional characters in RPG history. the next post will be Eurovision-related. :-)

#RPG #Dragon Age #Dragon Age Inquisition #Vivienne #Vivienne de Fer #Madame de Fer #DAI #Dragon Age 3 #BioWare

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lovelyirony · 4 years ago

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"a single thread of gold/tied me to you" for ironhusbands?💛

If there is one thing that James Rhodes cannot stand, it is “love at first sight.” In his professional and personal opinion, there is no such thing. It is simply a concept that Disney invented so they could make cutesy stories about princesses finding their princes immediately and give people hope about love, but in the end it is all about the money.

“You’re a cynic,” his sister Jeanie tells him over breakfast. She flings a stray Cheerio at him. “You are a cynic and you’re never gonna date someone because they’re going to think you suck.”

“People are going to date me and realize that I’m a good, realistic choice,” James responds, sticking his tongue out and stealing a drink of her orange juice. “People are going to date you and you’ll be disappointed because you watched too many romantic movies and you let it taint reality.”

“Loser.”

“Dork.”

And then he’s in college.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t meet Tony Stark for two years despite the fact that every single year, they live in the same building on different floors. He has had to evacuate about twenty different times because Tony cannot stop himself from doing experiments in his room.

The third year, James is an RA and required to live with one of the residents because of “experimental tendencies.” They don’t elaborate on why he’s stuck with a roommate, what the tendencies are, or who he is.

“You’ll know,” comes the email from the coordinator, and he has never wanted to curse so badly in an email before, but here he is.

But he’ll deal with it. Just like how he’s going to deal with everything this year.

He thought he would get the room to himself for a little while before everyone moved in and brought everything and he would check them in.

But no.

There’s his roommate, lounging on a bed, and grinning.

“Simply enlightening to meet you, James. They told me I could come back if I had a trusted roommate.”

“And they stuck you with me?”

“Well they were going to stick me with some dude who got the email, and then immediately transferred to Dartmouth. So I think you were the second option.”

“Great.”

He hates life, maybe just a little bit.

Tony wants to do things. Which is fine, but he isn’t really in the mood to have the conversation of the fact that he can do things, but he doesn’t want to do them. He has to focus on being an RA and preparing for the Air Force.

“Why prepare for that when you could be living?” Tony asks, lounging on Rhodey’s bed.

Oh yeah, that’s new too. Rhodey. Apparently, “Jim,” “James,” and “Rhodes” were unacceptable nicknames.

What is acceptable is Rhodey. And of course, the “honey bunches of oats” and “loveliest RA of all time in the history of MIT” and “sugar-puff” and “sweetness overload”

He’s responding to all of them, by the way.

Rhodey didn’t think his mental health would get this bad by the beginning. He had actually scheduled it to be around October.

And then the students come. There are nervous freshmen, the sophomores who don’t say anything as they move in and get settled, and the returning juniors and seniors greet Rhodey and Tony with familiarity and laugh about the posters that Rhodey’s worked hard on.

“So, we’re having joint-RA’s or something?” Miles asks, throwing his comforter over his bed.

“No, we’re not,” Rhodey says, hoping his expression is somewhere along the lines of not-showing-emotion. “Tony’s just...”

“I’m simply too exhausting for Housing to deal with anymore, so I have a babysitter,” Tony says with a wink. “And who better than our lovely Rhodey?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Sugar-puff?”

“Still no.”

Miles snorts.

“This year should be good. Tony, you gonna pull any fire alarms this year?”

“Rhodey has expressly banned experiments in the building, unfortunately,” Tony sighs. “It’s like he doesn’t want everyone to bond over having to leave at two in the morning...”

“Nothing says bonding like hating a rude wake-up call,” Rhodey says, and Tony nods. “We’ll let you get all moved in, Miles. Remember that floor dinner is at six!”

“You got it!”

Rhodey gives Tony a look.

“You know, I can do this on my own.”

“Aw shutterbug, I’m not gonna let you.”

“Are you really this intent on following me around?”

“Well, what if I want to overtake your position next year? What if you tragically get a raging headache and it’s up to me to know what to do? What if your mother kidnaps you and never lets you come here again?”

“I’m sure the college kids will be fine,” Rhodey stresses. “And I’ll still have access to email and the groupchat, genius.”

Tony just laughs.

“Alright, okay. I gotta go get some shit for my new class. The teacher sent out an email stating that the textbook is mandatory, and we have to do book work. This feels like eighth grade all over again.”

Rhodey snorts.

“Is it for Professor Casper?”

“Yeah, did you have him?”

“Yeah, you don’t need the book. You can find it online for free, and he never collects the book work. It’s a waste of time to get the book.”

“You’re an angel-and-a-half, love of my life,” Tony says. “And for that, I’ll snag an extra pudding for you at the dining hall.”

“Is it vanilla or chocolate this time?”

“Chocolate with cookies in it.”

“Oh my god, seriously? Already?”

“Guess they must have had a jump,” Tony teases. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

Tony has a specific way of getting people to open up and actually talk with others that Rhodey envies.

If Tony wasn’t so hellbent on convincing the group that if Miles and Kamala create a distraction, they could totally sneak out one of the pictures of the mascot.

“We are not doing that the first week,” Rhodey says. “Maybe the last.”

“It’s a beaver,” Tony whines. “Who’s gonna miss it, a Canadian?”

“It’ll be the floor bonding activity,” Gwen says, finishing off her fifth (maybe sixth) slice of pizza. “Better than talking about your feelings about the campus or whatever.”

“No.”

“We’ll convince him soon,” Tony whispers conspiratorially. “Also, who here is a freshman? I have some advice regarding the math classes and which teacher you want...”

Rhodey does have to admit, that sometimes it’s easier to have Tony around, who is so willing to stay up until the late hours because of some stupid drama or to help Peter at his chemistry homework and also ease his anxiety about leaving his Aunt May all alone.

Tony isn’t all wild and crazy as stories have led him up to be.

"I wore out all my crazy freshman year after going to two frat parties and deciding that no one knew anything about how to have fun,” he declared. “I mean, come on. Why have beer pong when you could quiz people about obscure fashion facts?”

Rhodey snorts.

“Don’t make that the next game night. Hey, what do you think about having a movie night this Friday? I’m thinking something not scary, we’ve been doing a lot of those.”

“It is October, what do you mean not scary?”

“Some of our residents don’t like scary,” Rhodey reminds him. “Honestly, I think we could do with a bit of Halloween fun.”

“Hocus Pocus? Double Double, Toil and Trouble? If you want to be slightly scared of old women and clown parties, I’d recommend it.”

“You weren’t scared of clowns beforehand?”

“Of course not, I wanted what they have; the ability to fit eighteen people in a car.”

“Couldn’t you just gut the car?”

“Not the same effect, honey-pie. Not the same effect.”

Miles and Peter both end up lobbying for Hocus Pocus, with little to no competition other than a promise that the other choice would be shown later on in the semester.

They’ve shoved all the chairs together and multiple people have brought out their own chairs, and Tony saves a seat for Rhodey under the premise of “Rhodey organized it, he gets a seat.”

It’s a tough squeeze, and Tony and Rhodey get all tangled up together.

Tony smells like expensive cologne and coffee, and he grins up at Rhodey and maybe the lights from the TV aren’t bright enough, but for a moment his heart skips a beat.

Well. Shit.

When he goes home for Thanksgiving break, Tony seems a bit...sad.

“What, your mom cook the worst turkey in the world?” he jokes.

"Sure,” Tony says, eyes unfocused. “Yeah.”

"Dude, you okay?”

“Yeah,” Tony says, turning. His smile brightens, eyes crinkling. “Why wouldn’t I be fine, buttercup?”

Rhodey gives him a look.

“I’m gonna call you when I get home, okay? You better answer.”

“I always answer to you,” Tony says, and damn Rhodey’s mind shouldn’t be going where it is.

Rhodey waves, gets in his car, and thinks about how Tony most likely has a problem on his mind, how he should probably not room with him, and his Aunt Ada’s green beans.

God, he loves those green beans.

Tony is alone for Thanksgiving. Jarvis and Ana got an opportunity to visit Aunt Peggy in England, and he knew that they hadn’t seen her in two years. He didn’t want to be selfish, have them stay just for him.

So, it looked like deli turkey sandwiches were in his future. If there’s still some soda in the fridge, maybe that too.

He sighs, and turns towards the lab. Dum-E’s not even here, as he didn’t fit in the travel car, so Tony let him loose on the floor to “keep guard” over the dorms and make sure that no one broke in or stole the cords that he knows he accidentally left in the common room.

The odd thing is, he had almost told Rhodey. Almost let him know that he’d be alone for Thanksgiving, but is that weird? That’s weird, right? To tell people your emotions just...it’s so messy.

They have to deal with it, you have to deal with the fact that they’re dealing with it, and then other people know that you both are dealing with it and it’s just a whole mess of epic proportions, you know?

Rhodey finds out on Thanksgiving, when they’re doing the parade on the TV and there’s a new snippet on the gossip channel when they go on commercial break.

Howard and Maria Stark, vacationing off the Mediterranean Coast.

“It’s reported that Tony Stark has preferred to spend his time in the vacation home,” the news reporter said, her smile wide and placid.

“Tony’s lucky,” Mama says, wrapping golden yarn around her fingers as she works on another sweater. (A small one, a tiny one. It’s for the new baby in the family for Christmas.) “He tell you about it?”

“He’s not there,” Rhodey says numbly.

“He’s not?” Dad says, eyes raised over the newspaper.

“No.”

“He didn’t tell you, did he?” Dad asks.

“No, no he didn’t.”

“Well then. Next time he’ll come with us.”

Rhodey nods.

“Christmas?”

“Clear it with his parents if they’re not spending time together.”

“Got it.”

Rhodey’s Thanksgiving is...nice. He can’t stop thinking about Tony going alone.

So he calls him. It’s two in the morning, he might be asleep, and Rhodey’s not sure if he got the “eight” in the last four digits right or not.

“Howard’s out, who is it?” comes a sleep-addled voice.

“Good thing I’m not looking for Howard, Tones.”

“Rhodey? Why are you calling me?” Tony asks, and Rhodey can imagine his eyes lighting up and that’s...that’s something.

“You spent Thanksgiving alone, I wanted to see how you were.”

“Aw, checking in your residents?”

“Checking in on you.”

Tony stills for a moment at the phone.

Besides Jarvis, no one had ever really checked in on him.

“Um, I’m fine?”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I mean, it sucks to be alone on Thanksgiving, but I don’t really like any of the foods that people usually have, so I’ve been fine. I ordered wraps from my favorite place.”

“Good to hear, good to hear.”

There’s a silent pause for a moment, the one where they both try to find something to say.

“Listen,” Rhodey says. “If you’re ever stuck for a holiday alone, you’re coming with me, okay?”

“I don’t want to intrude on your family,” Tony says softly.

“They all wanna meet you. Jeanie says she can kick your ass at ice hockey!”

“You guys can actually play ice hockey?”

“With limited degrees of success.”

“Oh, now that I gotta see some time.”

They come back to college, and Tony is back to his usual antics, greeting everyone who comes through the elevator with a shower of shredded paper.

“Welcome to Winter Wonderland! Next stop: suffering through finals!”

“Ugh,” Kamala groans, “stop it. Stop making me think. I have to memorize Byronic poetry. Do you know how boring that is?”

"Speak for yourself, I have to build a wooden chair,” Riri whines. “Who works with wood these days? It’s so old-fashioned.”

“Create the most bitching chair alive,” Tony says. “And I’ll help you with the necessary tools. Your professor isn’t expecting much, mainly just that it can support the weight of two people, you’ll be fine. Kam, Byronic poetry is not that bad, you will be good. We will bake cookies.”

“Can we even bake cookies? I thought our floor got banned from kitchen usage,” Peter says. “Hey Rhodey.”

“Hey kiddo,” Rhodey says. “First of all, yes we are banned from the kitchen. Second, we’re only banned and get in trouble so long as they know we’re there. And since more than half of us are nocturnal creatures and I am willing to wake up to help, we can bake cookies.”

There are cheers around the room, and Tony mocks offense.

“You don’t trust me to help the future youth?”

“Given that we’re not allowed to rent out any more equipment from the front office? Yes.”

“You wound me, darling.”

“Only as much as kitchen equipment goes, sweetheart.”

Tony grins.

“Aw, you missed me.”

“Yeah, I did. Now come on, you gotta help me with a billboard about the movie night this Friday. We thinking a romantic comedy or something mildly terrifying but probably won an award?”

“Mildly terrifying!” Gwen calls from her dorm. “If we watch two people falling in love I’ll choke! We’ve been doing it all year!”

“We’ve only watched, like, three rom-coms?”

Gwen rolls her eyes, as if he’s missed something completely obvious.

“You don’t get it. I’ll try again later. Hey, are we doing floor dinner tonight?”

“They’re serving pizza sandwiches, so obviously,” Tony says. “We will feast like kings.”

Christmas is a festive time for Tony. He loves it, and goes overboard with decorations. Rhodey lets him, because you can’t stop Tony once he loves something (and Rhodey is kind of. Fond of him).

Pepper comes up from the fifth floor, whistling.

“Damn, Jim. I knew you would do a good job with decorations, but not this good. Is this...did you buy a miniature village? How was this budgeted?”

“It wasn’t,” Rhodey says. “Tony’s really into Christmas and the floor convinced him that the theme should be Christmas Village. He’s been crafting identities for each villager instead of studying for any exam. The craft store employees know him by name now.”

“Well, we all have our vices. You two seem to get along well. Housing is pleased that he hasn’t blown up anything yet.”

“If they try to serve cheese ravioli again, he might.”

“That’s a problem for Dining,” Pepper reminds him.

“Still, it’s abominable. Where did they get them, bottom of the Hudson River?”

She snorts, adjusting her shirt.

“Probably, but hey. They still got eaten, even if that one freshman threw them all back up at the entrance.”

“It was payback, they were vile.”

Tony waltzes into the lobby, arms filled with glittering tinsel.

“We are not letting you hang that,” Pepper says, gaping at it all. “Do you know how hard it is to get rid of tinsel?”

“We’ll manage!” Tony says. “Also, are you free at six-thirty?”

“No, that’s when we’re getting dinner on my floor, what do you need?”

“Just that little tidbit of knowledge,” Tony says, looking down at his phone.

A message buzzes from the groupchat, and Rhodey glances at it:

We are a go for the real Christmas tree. I have the vacuum, and a believable lie. Rhodey’s gonna tell us when the RA on duty is gonna come so we can hide it.

Rhodey looks at Tony, grinning. He smiles right back.

“Is there some weird roommate telekinesis I’m missing here?” Pepper asks.

“Yes,” Rhodey says. “We’re discussing dinner plans.”

Another text from Harley:

I’m already picking one out with Peter. I have good taste. When is the ornament-making party?

Pepper looks at them.

“You’re planning something that I probably would have to disapprove of. I’ll tell people I got your floor watched tonight.”

“Pepper, light of my life, my absolute sunshine? You’re the best,” Tony says, grinning. “Rhodey-darling, help me with tinsel?”

He can’t say no. Simple as that.

That is how tinsel gets strung throughout his hair as he’s watching Tony climb onto chairs that shouldn’t be climbed on to hang it from everywhere.

“People deserve to have a good-looking Christmas,” he says. “Besides, I wanna win the decoration contest.”

Rhodey laughs.

“Okay, okay. I think we got it in the bag.”

Later on in the week, Tony can be seen flitting about from room to room with help and jokes to lighten the mood.

Rhodey has to admit, being an RA with Tony around is...nice. Better than he thought.

And maybe he has feelings. He’s not going to say anything about it. After all, they’re roommates. He also isn’t allowed to have a relationship with anyone on the floor, regardless of anything.

It doesn’t mean every RA follows it. God knows Sharon’s snuck down to the fourth floor to see Sam near-about every night, and her residents usually keep it a pretty good secret.

Still. There’s also everything else to consider, and the fact that he doesn’t even know if Tony likes him like that.

He doesn’t have to focus on it.

At least, not until the week of finals when he’s dying and Tony’s made him peppermint hot chocolate and sits on his bed, just about an inch away from his notes for his history class.

“Do you remember what you told me on the phone?” Tony asks softly.

“You up to compete against Jeanie for this year’s ice hockey championship?” Rhodey asks, smiling.

Tension releases from Tony’s shoulders.

“Only so long as you’ll have me.”

“Always, genius. Always.”

After the last resident leaves for the holiday and Rhodey checks in with those who are staying, he and Tony hit the road, dragging suitcases behind them.

“Are you sure I’m allowed?” Tony asks. “I can always find a hotel along the way...”

“Mama wants to meet you, I keep telling them a ton about you,” Rhodey says, laughing. “They told me they want to hear your side of the great Glitter Debacle.”

Tony laughs.

“You mean the truth?”

“Uh, I’m sorry, how are you going to convince them that green glitter was needed? And that you could clean it out of carpet?”

“Determination and grit?”

Rhodey laughs again as they pull onto the highway.

After a couple of hours, they make it to Rhodey’s home. His sister comes out, hugs for both.

“Good to meet you Tony,” Jeanie says. “I’ve heard a lot, and I think we’re going to get along awesomely after I tell you every single embarrassing thing that Jim’s ever done.”

“Only if I get to share stories too,” Tony teases, grinning. “Aw, they call you Jim?”

“What do you call him?” Jeanie asks.

“Jim-Jam, angel-dear, sugar-puff, Rhodey. You know, the usual.”

Jeanie snorts, taking one of Rhodey’s bags.

“Calling you the first one from now on.”

“Tony did you have to let her hear any of those?” Rhodey asks, exasperated in a teasing manner.

“Of course I did,” Tony sing-songed. “Now after you, I’m sure your mom is waiting to hug the living daylights out of you.”

It’s not until Rhodey gets all settled in and Tony is downstairs competing with his dad in a round of chess that Jeanie sits on his bed, the intention to annoy.

But it’s...different. She looks at him.

“You love him a lot, don’t you?”

Rhodey stills.

“You wouldn’t have told him he could come here if you didn’t.”

“You’re right.”

“I’m always right,” Jeanie says, flipping braids over her shoulder. “Nice of you to finally realize that I’m the smart one.”

Rhodey doesn’t say anything as she saunters out of the room.

He makes the decision not to tell Tony.

If it goes wrong and if Tony says no, he doesn’t want it to be an awkward family event but more importantly, the most awkward rest of the year ever. He can say it as they’re moving out, and that’s that.

He tells Jeanie as such.

“I thought you didn’t believe in love,” she says as they’re preparing the soup for dinner.”

“I don’t believe in love at first sight,” Rhodey says. “I do believe in love. There’s a difference.”

There’s a hell of a difference.

First sight, you don’t know everything. The second, third, fourth, fifth, and so on? Oh you learn so much more, and they become that more important.

He learns that he doesn’t mind picking up tinsel, so long as Tony is laughing and singing along to all of the worst Christmas songs ever, and maybe. Just maybe he could picture looking at Tony underneath the fairy-lights that they hung in the dorm room for all time.

Love is terrifyingly exhilarating, even when it isn’t supposed to be.

Rhodey did not think his heart would race so much as Tony listened to his Mama talk about her wedding china, about the utter disaster that his father was.

“He forgot his tie,” Mama said, smiling. “Oh my lord, my mother had a cow about that. I thought he looked kind of dashing.”

Tony’s eyes drift towards the wedding pictures, which are slightly shaky, but everyone had such wide smiles.

It’s a far cry from the publicity photos from the Stark wedding, Rhodey remembers the solemn expressions, the stuff tuxedos.

“I love it,” Tony says softly. He looks at Rhodey across the table, setting down the final plate. “Tell me more, Mrs. Rhodes.”

“Call me Mama, honey, Mrs. Rhodes is for people I don’t like that much. I think you’re gonna be my new favorite.”

“Even over me?” Jeanie says, grinning as she kisses Dad on the cheek. “I’m your favorite.”

“You’re my favorite until now,” Mama says. “Don’t think I don’t know that you skipped out on setting the table because Tony was here and graciously offered.”

“It was nothing,” Tony says. “Just happy to help. Thank you for letting me stay at your home for the holidays.”

“We’re always lucky to have guests,” Dad says, setting down the main dish. “Now let’s eat.”

Family dinner is a brand new concept to Tony. He’s had maybe four or five of them, and the majority of which were staged for some holiday shoot or some “celebrating American values” shoot.

It was awkward, weird, and he didn’t get why.

Now, he does. Jeanie has been steadily moving mashed potatoes away from Rhodey’s plate, and Mama caught her eye and winked, distracting him with talk about his college major and news about the neighbors.

Mr. Rhodes watches it all with a careful eye and a lax smile.

After dinner, they play cards.

It should be boring, but Jeanie puts on an old record and Rhodey keeps trying to count cards, and Tony didn’t think you could count cards in a game of Spoons.

“You can’t, he’s just a try-hard,” Jeanie stage-whispers.

“You-”

Jeanie laughs, rolling herself out of Rhodey’s grasp as he chases her around the family room. Tony leans back into the couch, and shouts with surprise as Jeanie trips Rhodey into the couch.

His body twists, and Rhodey’s facing him on the couch and they’re close and with the fire roaring in the fireplace and the Christmas lights outside shining through the windows, it’s almost magic.

It is magic, but Rhodey is kind of terrified of that.

Tony breathes in, breathes out.

“Hello sugar-puff,” he says.

“Hello genius,” Rhodey says, a smile on his face.

Oh.

The night does not get much sleep.

Tony doesn’t sleep anyway, but Rhodey finds that quite often he can’t sleep without some softly-playing rock in the background, doesn’t matter if it is a highly-questionable AC/DC song. That and Tony softly murmuring about his plans, and it’s like a personalized lullaby.

Rhodey cannot sleep. Tony’s in the guest room, and he can’t sleep.

There’s a soft knock on his door.

Tony’s there in shorts and a t-shirt that’s probably expensive, but he’ll never say if it is or not.

“Can I...I can’t sleep.”

“Get in here, Tones. I can’t sleep either.”

The bed is a tight squeeze, but they make it work.

Rhodey whispers until he drifts off to sleep about Christmas and school and everything else.

Tony watches with quiet eyes, interjecting with his own stories occasionally.

They fall asleep tangled up together, and Rhodey doesn’t mind it one bit, not as he pulls Tony in closer.

Waking up is bittersweet, honestly. Rhodey has Tony in his arms, and that’s...that’s perfect. He thinks this is going to be the best thing that’s ever happened in his lifetime.

“It’s too early, darling,” Tony groans. The light from outside is already peeking through the blinds, and he has stuffed his head right back into a pillow.

“Jeanie’ll be here soon to bother us for Christmas breakfast,” Rhodey says. “And unless you want her pouncing on the bed and landing on wrong everything, we better get down there.”

Tony smiles sleepily, stretching.

“Thanks for letting me sleep in your room, honey-bunch.”

“No problem,” Rhodey said. “Missed the constant AC/DC and late-night discussions about robotics.”

“Not like I did much talking, Mr. Sap,” Tony teased. “Or was it me who mentioned that they had a favorite plate for dinner?”

“Listen, it’s superior and you did not once interrupt that story to complain. I think I did a great job explaining it.”

Tony laughs.

“I’m gonna go get dressed, okay?”

“Not until after present unwrapping,” Rhodey says. “We stay in pajamas.”

“I’m cold,” Tony whines.

Rhodey chucks his sweatshirt at him.

“Then here you go.”

Tony’s eyes light up as he shrugs it on, wiggling as he brings it up to his nose. It shouldn’t be that cute. But it is.

“You are the light of my life.”

Rhodey laughs, rolling his eyes.

“Maybe. Now come on.”

They head downstairs together, and they both get swept up into the speed of things, with Jeanie racing around the house and telling Tony that he got treats too, they just didn’t have a back-up stocking.

“Hush,” Mr. Rhodes says, handing Tony a carefully wrapped gift. “After breakfast, we’ll go ahead and open it.”

He smiles, and Rhodey thinks it’s the best thing he’ll ever see.

Christmas gifts, Rhodey thinks, are his new favorite thing to see Tony interact with.

It’s painfully obvious that he’s never really had any personal gifts, anything that reminds people of himself. He carefully unwraps the paper, careful not to rip it.

“You nerd,” Rhodey says, grinning. “Come on, show us what you got.”

Tony laughs as he opens a box with two coffee mugs from the rest of the family, emblazoned with “Rhodes” on one cup, and the other being a simple red with gold trim.

“They’re perfect,” he says. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re feeding his coffee addiction,” Rhodey answers.

“Like you aren’t doing the same,” Jeanie teases. “You made him his cups of coffee this morning.”

“That is because I have trained him well,” Tony says, grinning. “Rhodey, here’s my present to you, open it.”

He’s nervous.

Both of them are, but Tony especially so.

He told Rhodey once that he’s not good at shopping for other people. He tends to have the phrase “go big or go home” permanently circling in his mind, and it can lead to...complications.

(Rhodey remembers the overhaul of his closet for his birthday, complete with a visit from a rather well-known designer.)

Inside is a beautiful jacket. It’s all patchwork, artfully sewn together with embroidery thread spelling out “James” at the lapel.

“I commissioned Janet,” Tony says, smiling softly. “She wants you to still walk in her fashion show, by the way. Says you’re a model.”

Rhodey snorts, shrugging on the jacket.

“You helped with this, right?” Rhodey says. “I can see it in the gold thread you got on the sleeves.”

“I may have had some creative input.”

“I love it,” Rhodey says. “Now here’s mine.”

Tony breathes, and Rhodey wonders if this gift will be enough. He feels a bit stupid, it doesn’t seem like that great of a gift, in retrospect-

It’s a puzzle.

A puzzle of their favorite cafe and restaurant to go to at MIT. It was in a shop window, and Rhodey could tell that Tony would love it.

On top is a scarf, since Tony gave away his last one to another student in their philosophy class.

“I love it,” Tony breathes, tackling Rhodey in a hug. “I love it, I love it! We have to do the puzzle after this.”

Mrs. Rhodes sends her husband a look.

Yeah, Tony would be around for a long time.

They set up the puzzle on the floor of Rhodey’s room, clearing away any luggage. It’s silent for a while, Tony moving around the pieces and Rhodey looking for edge pieces.

They work closely together, side by side.

Rhodey can’t stop staring.

He should be able to. He’s stopped himself before, but now?

Sunlight is coming in through the window, playing around Tony’s fingers as he nimbly picks up puzzle pieces, and this is the eternity that Rhodey wants so badly. If he died right now, he thinks he would choose for Heaven to look like this.

“You okay?” Tony asks, eyes looking up. He took his contacts out, and now he’s just in his tortoiseshell glasses, the ones that he secretly likes more and Rhodey loves.

“I’m in love with you,” Rhodey blurts out, because he can’t stop thinking about how beautiful Tony is and how much he loves him.

He realizes that this could very well be considered a mistake. Because they still have to live together and drive back together and it won’t be the same, and the residents will notice no matter how well they both act--

Tony pops his head right under Rhodey’s chin.

“Kiss me?”

That’s all it takes.

They mess up part of the puzzle, but that’s okay. They find they don’t mind it too much. They can work on it later, when Tony’s done getting Rhodey out of his new jacket and Rhodey works his hands underneath Tony’s sweatshirt.

Mama takes one look at them for dinner and grins.

“Jeanie, you owe me a night of dish-washing.”

“Seriously?”

“Mama!” Rhodey hisses, embarrassed beyond belief.

Tony just cackles, and elbows Rhodey out of the way so he can get to his chair at the table.

“Couldn’t have fooled you for a second, could we?” Tony teases.

“Not at all,” Mama states proudly.

Rhodey rolls his eyes and squeezes Tony’s hand under the table. All will be well.

When they both get back to college, none of their residents are surprised, at least not until they have to have a “knocking before entering” policy put in place after one particular late morning.

#lovelyirony writes #jeanie rhodes #mama rhodes #rhodeytony #ironhusbands #pepper potts #harley keener #gwen but i can't remember her last name #spidey gwen #gwen spider-man #kamala khan #peter parker #tony stark #rhodey

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appleb18 · 5 years ago

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Cartoons Relationships Are Terrible

Back in the day of cartoons, the romantic subplots were simple and yet very heartwarming to see such as

Katara and Aang from Avatar: The Last Airbender

Phineas and Isabella from Phineas and Ferb

But now, modern cartoons are taking romantic subplots into heavier territories that something that some live-action shows would do. While it does sound interesting that making relationships more realistic and complex but the way that has been written in the previous decade is pretty bad. The writers try to make romance relatable to the audience but fail on doing so such as making likable characters to really cringy and awful people, shoving down our throats of how cute it is and having the romantic subplot more focus than the actual plot.

Adventure Time and Regular Show

So you must be wondering why I put Adventure Time and Regular Show together instead of separate categories. The thing about these two shows is they used to have bad romantic subplots but as the show progresses, they really did it well and I have to say it did better than most cartoons that failed to do which I’ll talk about later.

For Adventure Time, Finn and Flame Princess broke up in “Frost and Fire” due to him deceiving her by having FP fight Ice King/Simon Petrikov for his amusement

After their break, he tries to rekindle his romantic feelings for Princess Bubblegum and thinks age is just a number in “Too Old”. However, it doesn’t end up too well that she has people to watch over and that’s when he realized that he really did donk up with Flame Princess.

Although he apologized to FP in “Earth and Fire” to her it didn’t fully restore their relationship and Finn still had romantic feelings for her and Princess Bubblegum.

Thankfully, Finn matures in later seasons.

Finn realized it’s better for him to be friends with Princess Bubblegum

He then fully apologized and realized what he has done wrong to Flame Princess and she tells him that he really matured and hang out by playing guess who and rapping in “Bun Bun”

and Princess Bubblegum, and Marceline. They both finally reconcile at the end of “Varmints” and start to hang out more which develops their relationship from being platonic to romance.

For Regular Show, in “Steak Me Amadeus' ' Mordecai asked Margaret to be his girlfriend and although she would like that, she can’t because she got accepted into college which broke his heart.

It didn’t last when he’s been reunited with CJ in “New Years Kiss”.

As the show progresses, the two become a couple but then things get complicated when Margret returns. It made things awkward between CJ, Mordecai, and Marget like CJ always gets jealous and runs away when she sees Mordecai and Margret together.

By the end of season 6, he dumps CJ in front of everyone in Muscle Man's wedding.

Like Adventure Time, Mordecai and Margret hangout and realized they should stay as friends in “Just Friends”

While Eileen and Rigby become a couple.

Now it’s time to talk about other cartoons shows and their romantic subplot problem

Steven Universe

Steven Universe relationships can sometimes be well written but most of the time can handle poorly.

Such as Lars and Sadie were starting to develop their relationship in “Joking Victim” however it repeats itself throughout three seasons until the end of season 4 where Lars develops. Then there’s Sadie trapping him and Steven on the island in “Island Adventure” so he won’t have to leave and they don’t resolve and don’t even mention it ever again in later seasons. All they show was Sadie scar and that’s it

In “Steven Universe: Future”, Sadie and Lars didn’t get together and she’s now with Shep and they did it off-screen. So throughout the whole thing with Lars and Sadie, they don’t get together. The show kept teasing it and they might get together in the future but the writers just said screw it, let's have her date a nonbinary while Lars goes on a space adventure. It feels like a waste of seeing those two characters that the show keeps showing them together and not have them become a couple. Unlike SvTFoE, Shep just came out of nowhere with no proper introduction and doesn’t establish they and Sadie's relationship and it’s really bothersome!

Connie and Steven's relationship was good for the first four seasons. It was really had good chemistry and she was a good partner for him

then season 5 came in and it kinda got ruins by after Steven escape from Gem Homeworld and coming back to Earth, it starts off with Connie leaving Steven with lion and never to be seen for a month according to “Keven Party”. The Steven and Connie arc was really bad like why was it dragged for five episodes? The whole thing could’ve been resolved in one episode by having them talk about their feelings like how “Mindful Education” and “Full Disclosure” did by they talk about their emotions instead of running away.

Then in “Gemcation”, Steven the most important thing to him is Connie's relationship than worrying about Lars and the Off Colours' safety. That has to be the dumbest thing I’ve heard in my life and I can’t believe Rebecca and the Crewniverse have written it like that.

Then there’s Ruby and Sapphire. I’ll be honest, the relationship feels like old Disney love stories like Cinderella, Seven Dwarfs, and Sleeping Beauty and that’s not a compliment. In “The Answer”, after they accidentally fused, they escape and wander Earth that caused them to fall in love which kinda contradicts what Garnet said to Jamie about love, at first sight, isn’t good in “Love Letter”.

In “Pink Diamond” Arc, the plot came to hold to make room for Ruby and Sapphire’s wedding.

While it is revolutionary that they show an LGBT wedding live on television but as a narrative standpoint, it feels rushed. The reason for that is after that Blue and Yellow came in after the wedding. They were no build-up or anything, they just came.The reason why they did it so some countries can’t take it down due it the main story which is stupid. It’s nice they represent LGBT but why in the middle of a major story arc, that’s just sloppy.

Voltron

So Voltron has a reputation of queerbaiting the audience that Shiro is gay and he has a boyfriend. The writers keep telling us on Twitter that they’ll show his boyfriend in season 7 but when it finally aired. It was terrible

The first time we saw Adam was a flashback but it was nothing, it was more friendship than romance.

When he finally shows up in the present he dies. Shiro goes to the memorial and signs than that’s it.

The writers really made a dumb move of hyping it up but they let us down by having him die. They try to make it up by having Shiro marrying some guy who has a very little screen in the final season. Similar to Regular Show with Mordecai marrying a batgirl but not dumb while Voltron trying to get brownie points for having LGBT rep.

Lance and Allura were really forced. For six seasons, Allura was never interested in Lance and only saw him as a friend but in season 8, the two confessed their love for each even though there wasn’t any chemistry nor sign that they truly love each other and they insensitively become a couple for one date. I would’ve supported if their relationship was established back in season 2

The Legend of Korra

The love triangle between was handled so poorly with bad timing, making characters look terrible, making things force and having it engage more than the plot.

For the first season, there was a love diamond. Bolin liked Korra, Korra likes Mako and Mako liked Asami and those two go out. Korra and Mako kissed which broke Bolin’s heart but he got over it but when Asami finds out when Korra was missing, she gets jealous. I understand that she was concerned about her relationship with Mako but during when Korra, the avatar that is missing while Equalis are on the move? That’s not the right moment to get jealous when Republic City is gonna be under attack but of course, Mako and Asami break and Korra gets in with Mako.

In season 2, things get worse when the happy couple keep nagging and they break up

Which he tries again with Asami

After Korra got her memories back but forgot breaking up with Mako, she asked him if it was bad however though he lied and everyone judged him for that dick move, especially Asami who started to have feelings for him again. Thankfully they broke up because that was just an awful way to get someone back by having their mind erased.

Also, Bolin was with Eska and it was abusive. Forcing him to be her man, changed his whole entire to match with hers and she forced him to marry her.

What’s worst about it is no one is concerned about him being with her and instead they just laugh like it’s supposed to be funny. Being in an abusive relationship isn’t funny and I hate how the show treats it so. By the end, they just forgot the whole thing that ever happened and moved on with their lives.

Season 3 and 4 kept the romance to a minimum with Bolin x Opal and Jinora x Kai but there was one romantic relationship that had to happen with no hints or build up and it’s Korra x Asami. By the end of the series, they decided to go to the spirit together while holding hands and having their eyes glazed toward each other and they become a couple.

While many of you may say that they hinted it since season 3, however, it looks like friendship. Blushing and writing to her isn’t enough to say they have feelings towards each other. That is what best friends do too. The creators even have to confirm that they are a couple and the comics showing their love while it’s nice and all but it would’ve been a lot better to show it either on streaming service or live television than buying volumes to see more of their pairing, it’s balderdash. Now it’s time to talk about a cartoon that has one of the worst romance I’ve ever seen in my entire life of watching shows.

Star vs The Forces of Evil

Star vs The Forces of Evil has one of the WORST romantic subplots I’ve ever watched, it is even worse than CW’s Arrowverse romance and that’s saying something. The romantic subplot makes Star and Marco look like terrible people that only care about each other more than other characters.

Jarco

Out of all ships in SvTFoE, Jarco has the most establishment than most others. Marco liked Jackie when he was little and it was bound to happen that those two will date. Ever since season 1, the relationship has been growing to platonic to a romantic couple in season 2.

Their chemistry together worked well but then “Sophomore Slump”. When Marco finally went back to Earth, he was obsessed with Mewni and Star and he won’t stop talking about and he still wears the cape. When Jackie told him to stop obsessing over Mewni which he tries to do but it got the better to him by he still wears the cape when he was on his date with Jackie. It’s really BS when Marco said to Jackie “You’re my best friend” which ruined everything that it established since season 1 and this, of course, caused them to break up.

Then he left Earth to go to Mewni the day after their break up. It’s a real shame that building up their relationship and giving Jacie character got shoved aside for Starco. Although she returns and meets up with him again I can’t help feeling that it just for fan service and being inclusive for Jackie being Bi

Tomstar

Before the show started, Star and Tom were a couple but broke up due to him getting angry very easily and he wanted her back for the past two seasons luckily he stopped trying in “Mr. Candles Cares”. Their relationship becomes healthier when Tom gives Star space and that causes them to get back together and not have feelings for Marco anymore.

Tom went through a lot of development for Star and it was a Mewni x Monster romance which is similar to Eclipsa and Globglor and it fits season 3. After rewatching it, it was pretty good. However, like Jarco, it was doomed from the start due to fans wanting Starco to be canon even though Tomstar was getting good. Also, Star was a terrible girlfriend to him.

Star never told him she kissed him, Marco did and when Tom confronted her about it, she got mad and tried to walk away.

She mistreats him by nagging somethings, blowing on his face and angrily ask translate

She declined on going on a vacation with him so she can be with Marco.

Even his mom was afraid that she might break his heart again and her response “Everybody breaks up. That’s what teenagers do! Teenagers are dumb”. He went through so much development, changed his character and gave her so much but she never returned the favor. What an awful girlfriend

Kellco

With Tom and Star getting together (for now) it left Marco feels devastated that she’s dating someone and can’t get rid of his feelings for her while Kelly doesn’t want to be with Tad which she broke up with him. They both have something in common and start to hangout and their relationship has developed throughout season 3 and he’s with her more than Star.

They became officially a couple as “breakup buddies” in “Kelly’s World” and it also when they did a perfect synchronization between two partners.

So they’re pretty much a good pair but everything changed when the episode “A Boy and His DC-700XE” and did an off-screen break up. I don’t care who or what you write but never, ever a major plot point or character development offscreen. Kelly finds happiness when she leaves Tad but they break up with no explanation. It was glossed over like for five seconds and Marco doesn’t even care about their break up, what an a*hole.

This relationship feels like a real waste of time and serves nothing to the plot nor character development, it was just there to waste time.

Starco

Before I talk about Starco, I used to ship it and I thought they were enjoyable characters. They would've worked in a relationship if things were written better and would have been the next Phineas and Isabella but sadly the writers messed up probably the easiest romance to write.

Season 1, Star and Marco became best friends. Although there weren't many romantic moments they still look pretty good together

Season 2, As Star was happy for Marco that she’s finally dating Jackie, the girl he has had a crush on since preschool,

on the other hand, she started to have feelings for him and she has trouble expressing it.

In season 3, Marco started to have feelings for Star which caused him and Jackie to break up. Star told him that he wants nothing to do with him romantically in “Lint Catcher” and Tad told him that he does have feelings for her in “Lava Lake Beach” and he wasn't happy to find out about it at all. Then in Booth Buddies, they were held hostage by some freak until they kiss and they were completely in denial about having feelings for each other

Then season 4 is when Starco becomes really sour. Star and Marco always keep saying that they don’t want to have feelings for each other and yet the writers have several episodes before the end of the series

. They never showed any romantic interest until “Mama Star” where he confessed his feelings to her and then they kissed in the second last episode. By the finale, instead of either of them going back to their dimensions they went back to the World of Magic and held each other. It would’ve been more meaningful if they got together before the end of the show.

It’s very odd that they risk their lives for a relationship that just started. However, for some miracle, both of their worlds collide and become one with no explanation of what so ever.

Starco could’ve been a lovely ship but the writers have to keep messing around with it till the very end.

Conclusion

Whenever a show presents a romance, I don’t mind as long it either fits with the narrative of the story it be fun but 2010s romantic subplots have been written very terribly by having it the main focus but sacrifice pacing and quality of the story, forcing characters to become a couple without establishing it enough in the show, and having characters go off for the sake of drama. Romantic stories can be simple and cute like Kim x Ron from Kim Possible, Suki x Sokka from Avatar: The Last Airbender and Starfire x Robin from Teen Titans and that’s all right. I do hope that this generation will fix what the previous decade of cartoons has failed to do.

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moxfirefly · 5 years ago

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sup my dude. it is I. lol i have a sweet prompt for you. Male S/O is trying to set up the perfect first date for him and Hellgirl to go on. being new to this relationship he's not sure where to take her or what to do. so he asks Hellgirl's best Friends Elliot Sherman and Amy Sapien for help. you're amazing!!~

First Date

————————————————————

“Look I’m determined to make this perfect for her. I’m talking Disney movie level perfect” You ran a frustrated hand through your hair.

Two sets of eyes followed your pacing.

“I believe you’re being highly critical of yourself y/n” Amy Sapiens soft voice tried to break through to you. She was the voice of reason most of the time after all.

“Or he’s gonna choke and fuck it all up, we can be realistic”

Then there was Elliot.

Fucking Elliot Sherman never gave your balls a reprieve.

“Listen you guys as much as I love the good cop and bad cop routine with me, I’m seriously nervous” You sat down defeated on the nearest chair.

Some 48hrs ago you’d managed to spill out a coherent sentence towards Hellgirl. You’d ask her out on an actual date. Half the heart attack was her accepting, now the other half was planning it.

You didn’t want to make it boring, no boring wouldn’t be memorable. Extravagant would be a tad too much and out of budget. Typical was out of the list since, well typical just couldn’t work for Hellgirl.

“Perhaps some alcohol?” Amy spoke up.

“Shit ton of food” Elliot said as he lit up a cigarette.

“Wouldn’t that be too basic? I want this right. I want her... fuck I just want her” You pressed your hand to your face, sighing out your frustrations.

You felt Amy’s hand on your back. “To be frank, the feeling is mutual” You looked up, a hint of a blush on your features. Elliot held out the cigarette for you. “She rambles on about how hot you are, that you have a nice ass. It’s annoying.” You couldn’t help but chuckle and you took at drag from the cigarette. God Elliot smoked the worst cigarettes on earth, you could taste the cancer on them.

Their words helped sooth you as you ran plans in your mind.

And idea thankfully sprang into your head. “You think you guys could help me out? I’m gonna need that booze and food. But also some other provisions...and access to the roof, preferably where the helicopters at.”

Elliot and Amy looked at each other.

Yes this idea would work.

——————

Hellgirl eyed the note that was slipped under her door. This must be what teenagers felt in those corny romcom movies.

She’d be lying if she said it didn’t make her stomach do somersaults.

The instructions were simple. A rooftop meet up. To bring something warm. Also booze. Fairly simple and she could deliver.

She’d tied her hair up in a messy bun, got dressed for comfort and made her way up to the rooftop of the B.P.R.D. It was a chilly night but snow was supposed to fall in a month or so. She checked her text chain with Elliot and Amy, rolling her eyes at the comments to take ‘protection’ and that if your date tried to cop a feel they’d ‘wring his neck’.

Her friends were lovely.

“Hey!” Hellgirl saw y/n and as usual he looked dreamy. She was trying her best to control her giddiness. “Well well, you really took to heart the wine and dine me comment” Her smile made you melt internally. You grabbed her hand and led her to a spot on the roof where a blanket was set up, various snacks and beers displayed.

Some nervousness began to slither up your spine as the two of you settled on the make shift picnic. It always happened once you were around her, her presence, her eyes, so many aspects of her left you in awe.

“I know it doesn’t look it, but I’m not gonna lie...pretty nervous here” You took a sip of your drink, her soft laughter made you smile. “If it wasn’t so cold out you’d be sweating right now.” She reaches for your hand, her flesh hand, and held yours. The contrast of color and feel making your skin prickle in excitement.

“You’re infuriatingly beautiful, cant help but be a nervous wreck around you” You smiles sincerely at her, this time she was the one looking away.

“You keep saying that, you’re making me believe it” Looks we’re always a sore subject for her but you couldn’t help your honest words. To you she was a mesmerizing woman and more often you found yourself craving her against you. To feel every warm inch of her beneath your flesh.

You cupped her cheek, thumb rubbing circles on the various raised and bump edges of a scar.

A silence fell before the two of you. Nothing but the cold wind blowing against the two of you. Somehow unspokenly you both leaned in to share a soft kiss. She felt exactly how you wondered, firm and warm. The kiss continued lazily, deepening in moments but never escalating. This wasn’t about taking each other to bed or maybe this very rooftop. You wouldn’t do anything she wasn’t ready for.

After few moments she leaned back slightly, lips shiny and eyes half lidded. That very look would be burned permanently in your brain. You ran your thumb across her bottom lip, the way her golden eyes followed the motion leaving you breathless.

“Can we do that again?” She asked in a half whisper.

She was truly going to be your undoing.

Good.

#atomic52 #hellgirl x reader #hellgirl x reader insert #hellgirl x male!reader #genderbend hellboy #hellboy 2019 #hellboy #something fuzzy and soft #sorry for being so inactive #trying to get back i to the groove of things #lifes been hard lately but i miss writing so im trying #request #ask

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the-desolated-quill · 5 years ago

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Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2019

Congratulations! You’ve made it through another year! You’ve faced many obstacles and overcome many adversaries to arrive here, at the dawn of a new decade. So as we prepare to leave the 2010s and make our way into the 2020s, lets take a look back at the challenges and hardships of 2019. And by challenges and hardships, I of course mean shitty fiction and media.

Yes, it’s time for yet another edition of Quill’s Swill, where we mark the absolute worst stories that the industry had to offer over the past year and proceed to tear them to shreds. Think of it as like voiding your bowels before the New Year.

As always remember that this is my personal, subjective opinion. If you happen to like any of the things on this list, that’s fine. More power to you. Go make your own list. Also bear in mind I haven’t seen everything 2019 has to offer due to various other commitments. So as much as I really, really want to, I can’t put Avengers Endgame on here. I know what happens. It sounds fucking terrible, but I haven’t seen the film, so it wouldn’t be fair of me to put it on the list, even though it would most definitely deserve it.

...

Seriously, read the synopsis of Endgame on Wikipedia some time. It’s like fanfic written by a nine year old. It’s truly shocking. And now it’s the highest grossing movie of all time? Give me strength.

All In A Row

Don’t you just hate it when you’re expected to parent your autistic child? Like actually show love and care and consideration to your offspring. Look at him, expecting you to treat him like a human being. Selfish bastard! If only there was a play that explored the horrors of having to be a decent person to your own flesh and blood and how objectively awful it is. If you’re one of those people, then the play All In A Row will be right up your street.

Premiering on the 14th February at Southwark Playhouse in London, All In A Row was a total shitshow to say the least. The playwright, Alex Oates, claimed to have ten years of experience working with autistic children, which you wouldn’t have believed if you saw the play as the autistic child at the centre of the play, Lawrence, seemed more like a wild animal than a person. In fact two of the main characters compare him to a dog. And if you thought this wasn’t dehumanising enough, Lawrence isn’t even a child. He’s a puppet. Yes, it’s as bad as it sounds.

All In A Row seems to place all of the blame for the family’s predicament on the autistic child, who’s presented as barely functional, bordering on bestial. There’s no effort to really make an emotional connection with Lawrence (how can you? He’s a puppet!) as the play instead focuses on how this kid has effectively ruined this family’s life because of his autism and aggressive behaviour. Speaking as someone on the autism spectrum, I can say quite confidently that this play is fucking despicable. Badly written, badly conceived, insulting and downright mean spirited. I wouldn’t want Oates looking after my autistic children, that’s for damn sure.

Anthem

EA is back and this time they’re dragging the critical darling that is BioWare down with them.

Anthem was a desperate attempt to jump aboard the ‘live service’ bandwagon, trying to replicate the success of other video games like Overwatch, Destiny and Warframe. They failed spectacularly. The game itself had more bugs than A Bug’s Life, loot drops were often stingy and unrewarding, loading times were farcically long, and the story and worldbuilding was fucking pitiful. Oh yeah, and if you played it on PS4, there was a good chance it could permanently damage it. Thankfully I have a uni friend with an Xbox One and they allowed me to play the game on that. It was a crushing disappointment, especially coming fresh off the heels of Mass Effect Andromeda, which didn’t exactly set the world on fire back in 2017.

It didn’t help that EA’s reputation was in tatters thanks to the lootbox controversy of Star Wars Battlefront II and having to try and win back the trust of fans, but worse still reports began to service of what went on behind the scenes at BioWare during the game’s development. Apparently the game’s story and mechanics kept changing every other day as the creative directors and writers didn’t have the faintest idea what kind of game they wanted to make, and the developers were often forced to work obscenely long work hours in abusive crunch periods to get the game finished for launch. It got so bad that, according to an article on Kotaku, some members of the team had to leave for weeks or even months at a time to recover from ‘stress casualties.’

To think this was the same company that gave us Mass Effect, Dragon Age and Knights Of The Old Republic. Thank God that Obsidian Entertainment is there to pick up the slack on the RPG front because I think it’s safe to assume that BioWare won’t be around for much longer at this rate.

The Lion King (2019 remake)

Here we go. Yet another live action remake of a Disney classic. Excpet it’s not live action, is it? Well... it’s live action in the sense that Dinosaur was live action (remember that film? Don’t worry if you don’t. No one does). Real locations but CGI characters. Millions of dollars spent on cutting edge tech to create photo realistic animals... and the film ends up duller than a bowl of porridge that really likes trainspotting.

It’s not just the fact that The Lion King remake is yet another soulless cash grab from the House of Mouse, it’s also the fact that it’s done really badly that upsets me. The Lion King works as an animated film. Bright colourful images, over the top song and dance sequences and vibrant character designs. As a ‘live action’ film, it just looks awkward and stilted. None of the animals are very expressive, leaving it up to the poor voice actors to carry the film, and to cap it all off the CGI isn’t even all that convincing in my opinion. At no point did I look at Simba and go ‘oh yeah, he looks like a real lion.’ It’s so obviously fake. In fact it reminds me of those early 00s movies like Cats & Dogs or Stuart Little where you see the jaws of the talking animals moving up and down like some messed up ventriloquist act or something. And here’s me thinking cinema has evolved past this.

BBC’s The War Of The Worlds

Remember Peter Harness? That guy who wrote that Doctor Who episode about the moon being an egg? Yeah, he’s back and he’s doing an adaptation of H.G. Wells’ War Of The Worlds. And guess what! It’s fucking ghastly! :D

The three part BBC mini-series was without a doubt some of the worst telly I think I’ve ever seen. It’s staggering how clueless Harness is as a writer. For starters he managed to achieve the impossible and somehow made a Martian invasion of Earth boring. I didn’t even think it was possible, but somehow he pulled it off. Then he sucks all tension out of the story by revealing the ultimate fate of the Martians at the beginning of the second episode, so now any threat or danger has been chucked out of the window because we know that the main female protagonist Amy at least would survive. And then finally he takes a massive dump over the source material by having humanity weaponise typhoid to kill the red weed rather than just having the Martians die of the common cold like in the book. Because God forbid us Brits should be presented as anything other than heroic and dignified.

So what we’re left with is a poorly realised allegory with ineffectual horror tropes full of OTT progressive posturing in a pathetic attempt to make Harness and the BBC look more liberal than they actually are. There’s no effort to really explore the themes of imperialism and colonialism outside of casual lip service, and we barely get a glimpse of the dark side of humanity. Everyone is presented as flawed, but basically awesome or, in the case of Rafe Spall’s character, utterly gormless. Our TV license fees help fund this shit, you know?!

And if you think this was bad, just wait till New Year’s Day where we’ll get to see Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss’ butcher Dracula. Can we stop giving these beloved literary icons to these hacks please?

Glass

I liked Split. It wasn’t an amazing movie, but it was entertaining with some good ideas, a great performance from James McAvoy and was a true return to form for M Night Shyamalan. That being said, I wasn’t keen on the idea of it taking place in the same universe as Unbreakable. I feared it would be a step too far and we’d end up having something like... well, something like Glass.

On paper, Glass isn’t a bad idea. The idea of superpowers being a delusion is legitimately intriguing and could have been a great post-modern deconstruction of the superhero genre. Except Shyamalan never actually does anything with it. The first act drags on and on with absolutely nothing happening, none of the characters really grow or change over the course of the film, Bruce Willis in particular is basically only here for an extended cameo as his character does pretty much nothing for the majority of the film, and then the entire film is undermined by that stupid Shyamalan twist. Turns out superhumans are real and there’s a big cover up. Oh great! So not only does it render the entire film pointless, it also undoes what made Unbreakable and Split so good. They’re no longer people capable of extraordinary feats via rational means. They’re just superhuman. They can do anything. Sigh.

Shyamalan... maybe it’s time to give up the director’s chair, yeah?

Cats

Oh come on! Don’t act surprised! Did you honestly think I wouldn’t put Cats on this list?!

Cats, without a doubt, is the worst film of the decade and, yes, the CGI is terrible. Not only are there these sub-human cat mutants running around, we also have mice and cockroaches with child faces, James Corden coughing up furballs, Taylor Swift trying to give the furries in the audience boners, Idris Elba looking disturbingly underdressed and Rebel Wilson being... well... Rebel Wilson. It’s a disaster of a film. And really, should we even be surprised? We all knew this was going to suck. And no it’s not because of the CGI. I thought the CGI in Pokemon: Detective Pikachu was creepy as well, but at least it had a decent script and good performances to back it up. No the reason why Cats sucked is because... it’s Cats. It’s always been that bad. No amount of ‘advanced fur technology’ was going to change that. It was still going to be a confused, plotless mess with one dimensional characters and bad songs.

The only consolation I had was that I didn’t waste money buying a ticket. A friend of mine snuck me into the premiere and we watched it in the projector room. The plan was to make fun of it and have a laugh, but we didn’t even do that because honestly there’s nothing to really make fun. There’s only so many times you can take the piss out of the CGI and honestly the film was just boring more than anything else. It doesn’t even have the distinction of being so bad it’s good like Sharknado or Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. It’s just bad, period.

I just hope we don’t see something similar happen to Starlight Express. Just think. Anthropomorphic, singing trains on roller skates. Shudder.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker

Finally we have yet another cynical cash grab from Disney.

I confess I didn’t exactly go into The Rise Of Skywalker with an open mind. I was never all that keen on a sequel trilogy in the first place, and neither The Force Awakens nor The Last Jedi ever convinced me otherwise. Admittedly they weren’t bad movies. Just derivative and painfully uninspired, and I was expecting more of the same for Episode IX. What I got instead was quite possibly the worst Star Wars film since Attack Of The Clones. Yes, it’s that bad.

This film is very poorly made, filled with plot contrivances and logic holes galore. I lost count of the number of times the protagonists got into a dangerous situation because of Rey constantly wandering off like a confused toddler lost in a shopping mall. Oh and we finally find out who her parents were and it was quite a twist, but only because it was really stupid. Of course we didn’t see it coming because nobody would have guessed it would be something that moronic. I feel JJ Abrams’ stupid ‘mystery box’ philosophy is to blame for this. It’s derailed countless franchises before such as Lost and Cloverfield, and now Abrams has fucked up Star Wars because he’s obsessed with mystery for the sake of mystery and Disney are so lazy that they couldn’t be bothered to plan an actual trilogy out properly beforehand. Instead they just wing it, making it up as they go along, which led to Rian Johnson ‘subverting our expectations’ and left Abrams desperately trying to pick up the pieces.

In fact a lot of The Rise Of Skywalker seemed designed specifically to appease people of both sides of the wide chasm The Last Jedi had created. The roles of characters of colour like Finn and Rose were significantly reduced, Poe and Finn don’t end up together because of homophobia, but we do see two women kiss in the background of one two second shot that could easily be cut out when they release the film in China, Kylo Ren gets his stupid redemption even though he hasn’t fucking earned it, Lando Calrissian shows up for no fucking reason, Rey is given ‘flaws’ relating to her parentage in order to combat those accusing her of being a Mary Sue, but they’re the boring kind of flaws that don’t have any real impact on her character, and that ghastly ship Reylo is made canon even though it makes no sodding sense in the context of this movie, let alone the whole trilogy. They even go to the trouble of baiting us with a FinnRey romance before pulling the rug out from under us. Then, just to add insult to injury, the film retroactively ends up making the entire original trilogy completely pointless. All because Disney wanted more dollars to put in their Scrooge McDuck money bin.

The Rise Of Skywalker, and indeed the entire sequel trilogy, should serve as a cautionary tale against the dangers of hype and nostalgia. The reason The Force Awakens was successful wasn’t because it was a good movie (because lets be brutally honest here, it really fucking wasn’t). It was because it gave gullible Star Wars fans warm fuzzies because it reminded them of A New Hope whilst tempting them with the vague promise that things might get more interesting later on. And when that didn’t materialise, quelle surprise, the fanbase didn’t take it very well. I would love to think that this will serve as an important lesson for the future when people go and see Disney movies, but who am I kidding? I guarantee at some point we’re going to get Episodes X, XI and XII and we’ll have to go through this sorry process all over again.

So there we have it. The worst of 2019. May they rot forever in Satan’s rectum or wherever it is stories go to die. Tomorrow we’ll take a look at the other end of the spectrum. Yes it’s the Quill Seal Of Approval Awards! The best of the best! Who shall win? The suspense is killing me! Ooooh, I can’t wait! You’ll be there tomorrow, won’t you? Of course you will. How could you not?

#quill's swill #quill's swill 2019 #worst of the year #review #opinion

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one-abuse-survivor · 4 years ago

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Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken.

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl.

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't.

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph!

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

#Anonymous #Vent #Ask #Abuse tw #Abuse #Abusive parents #Emotional abuse #Long post #Threats #Guilt tripping #guilt tripping tw #Threats tw #therapy mention #christianity mention #neglect mention #(I'm nonbinary btw but it's not like my grandfather knows or would care 🙃)

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

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Survey #216

“cocaine in a crucifix, say your prayers, take your licks.”

How much money is in your wallet right now? Not a lot. Maybe like $10. What’s the last thing you purchased from the store? Me myself? No idea. Have you ever seen the movie Mean Girls? If so, did you think it was funny? Yeah, it's a nice movie. What do you usually get on your sub at Subway? Ham, American cheese, bacon, banana peppers, pickles, and Chipotle sauce. I think that's it. Is your bed made right now? Do you usually make your bed, or does someone make it for you? I'm in my bed. I always am. Have you ever had a crush of one of your friends’ brothers/sisters? No. Do you take naps often? I take one most days. Are you an only child? If not, do you get annoyed by your siblings a lot? No, and they don't annoy me, but then again, I live with none of them. What’s your favorite Disney movie? The Lion King. Does it take you a while to fall asleep? Ugh. Too long. Do you watch TV before you go to sleep? No. Do you listen to music every day? It's very rare I don't. If you could have ANYTHING in the world right now, what would it be? To be satisfied with where I am in life. Do you still watch Spongebob Squarepants? No. I don't not enjoy it, you know I just don't watch television. What kind of bottled water do you drink? Mom buys big jugs of some Great Value-esque or whatever brand. Do you collect stuff someone else would consider junk? If so, then what? No. What's the most your electricity bill has ever reached? Idk, I don't pay it. How much was your tax refund this year or did you pay? N/A How are the kids doing? I don't have any. Do you see a bright light at the end of your tunnel? Just being realistic, not deliberately depressing or anything, I don't know. I could have a very dull and unsuccessful life or a thriving and happy one. What's the most you’ve ever lost gambling? Don't gamble. Have you ever waited in line overnight for something? No. How many concerts have you attended? One. Do you think having an expensive phone is a good investment? To a certain high price, no. So long you can call and text easily and reliably, I don't find it necessary to buy a $500 or whatever phone. Any tattoos? How many do you need or want to cover up? I have six. I'm getting my "ohana" one covered at some point, and I'm going to have "perfectly flawed" tatted over as well; I just want to move it elsewhere, considering I want something else where it already is. How many funerals have you attended? One or two. Have you lost anyone your age to death? No one that I was especially close to, thankfully. Have you ever witnessed a birth in person? Not a human one, thank Christ. I've seen cats give birth many times, and maybe other animals, but I'm not sure. What gender do you identify with? Female. What’s your opinion on astrology? It's total, ridiculous bullshit. Are you more of a science or math person? I'm clueless in math, while science makes sense to me and is far more interesting. What religion/spirituality do you identify with, if any? Theism. I think something made the universe, but I don't pretend to know jackshit about him/her/them/it. What is your opinion on peanut butter & banana sandwiches? I like them every now and again. What is your favorite book that was turned into a movie? The Outsiders, probably. Do you like the movie or the book better? This was so long ago that I honestly don't remember either well... so I really dunno. If you identify as a girl, would you ever consider getting a pixie cut? Yeah. If you identify as a boy, would you ever consider growing your hair out? N/A Are you a metalhead? I guess I mostly fit the definition, but I don't like labeling myself as such considering honestly, the metalhead community tends to have such a "that's not heavy enough" attitude and ridicule anything less than their interests and treat those that like softer metal as outcasts and/or posers. Not even trying to stereotype; befriend or observe people in this category and you'll see what I mean. Do you even listen to metal? Hell yes. Do you watch porn? No. If you don’t, do you have a moral reasoning behind that decision? I just find it... very strange. I don't see the appeal of watching. That's just something I want between me and my partner, you know? Like if you watch it, good for you, so long your s/o (if applicable) is aware and fine with it, but it ain't for me. Do you know anybody who is a Wiccan or Pagan? Yesssss, she's cool as fuck. I need to reconnect with her more. Do/did you ever attend church regularly? I did as a kid. Do you have a godmother/godfather/both? I have no clue. Do you listen to Supertramp? I have no clue who that is. Do you watch Supernatural? Not anymore. I think I stopped at the end of Season 6. What’s your favorite character in your favorite TV show? That '70s Show, probably Hyde. I love and relate to Eric, though. Honestly I love every single character; they're very unique to each other and recognizable with strong personalities. Both Fullmetal Alchemist iterations, most likely Edward. Or possibly one of the Sins, but I don't remember them all well... Oh. I know I loved Envy, for one. Are you wearing any rings right now? Yeah, my Supernatural friendship ring w/ Sara. Calling each other "bitch"/"jerk" between Sam and Dean is a thing in the show, so I have one that says "bitch" on the interior, and Sara has "jerk." Bracelets? Yes, also the one Sara gave me. Necklaces? No. Anklets? No. Chokers/collars? No. Do you go to a firework show every 4th of July? No. Are you diabetic? No. I'm forever proud of that considering it runs heavily in my family, yet even at my worst weight, I didn't develop it. But more importantly, a recent blood test I had for my thyroid or something showed I don't have any indicators of even coming close/being at any risk at this point in time. Are you allergic to gluten? No. Are you lactose intolerant? No. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries, yum. Your favorite vegetable? Broccoli. Do you live with your parents? I live with my mom. Have you written a formal essay lately? Not in years. How much experience do you have written down on your resume, approximately? I don't have a resume currently, but if I did, it'd only have two months as a sales associate as my other two jobs were so short-lived it'd be stupid to add, especially when you consider the obvious fact that would make me look awful. How long have you had the shirt you’re wearing? A year. What happened last time you got drunk? N/A When’s the last time you straightened your hair? I have zero clue. Do you bite your toe nails? Wtf no. Last time you laughed your head off? Idr. Do you find piercings attractive? Yeah. Did you accept or reject your last friend request? I rejected it. Had no clue who it was, even though we had quite a handful of mutuals. How many cigarettes have you smoked today? N/A Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? It depends on what the subject of the matter is. Do you like potato chips? Is there a human that doesn't???? Do you give out second chances way too easily? Yes. Ever stayed up all night on the phone? Not all night, no. There was one night Jason and I were up a long time talking, but it wasn't all night. What are you excited for? SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever shoplifted? No. If you have shoplifted, are you afraid of getting in trouble? And are you afraid to go back in that store? N/A Have you ever gotten caught shoplifting? If yes, what happened? N/A Have you ever plotted revenge against someone? No. Are you mad at someone right now? Nah. Have you ever egged someone’s house? Fuck no, because I'm not a dick. If not, have you ever WANTED to egg someone’s house? No. Have you ever wanted to kill someone? I was fucking psychotic when I found out Jason was in a new relationship after we broke up. For a long time I wanted her dead. Are you glad you don’t own a gun, because of what you might do with it? Quite honestly, yes. I'm impulsive on bad days, and I don't entirely cross out the possibility of me shooting myself on an awful day. Do you avoid people when they’ve hurt you? Yes. Do you make the most of every opportunity? No. Are you honestly succeeding at life, or failing? Failing miserably at most things. What does your newest journal look like? I don't remember the last time I got a journal. Is there anything you currently want but can’t have? A lot of things. Do you have no one you can trust? No, thankfully. Do you like meatball subs? No, they're so messy. Are you severely sleep deprived? No. What music are you listening to? "LA Devotee" by P!ATD just came on. If you go to school (HS or college), does your school have a rival? N/A What’s your school’s mascot? N/A If you have a sib, do you call him/her “brother” or “sister” sometimes? No. Do you own a Wii? If not, do you want one? Yes. Are there any songs you could just listen to over and over and over? No. I get tired of a song after around 100 repeats. No, I'm not kidding. Before you could loop YT vids (or anyway, before I was aware), I used a website that repeated the video for you and kept track of the repeats. Do you have a favorite basketball team (NBA or college?) No. Have you been baptized in any religious tradition? Yes. If your best male friend got a mohawk, would he look good or ridiculous? Save Him. What did you have for breakfast? A PopTart. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? I've never taken a shot. Have you slept over at a member of the opposite sex’s house in their bed? Yeah, but we were dating. Who last slept in your bed besides you? Sara. If the last person you had sex with asked you to date them, would you? No. What color is your car? (Or the one you drive most often) White. How long have you been single? (Or dating your current interest) Sara and I have been together a year and ten months. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah. Do you own any books written by musicians? Yeah, Ozzy's autobiography. What is your most interesting invention? Probably some RP characters. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk? Once. Have you ever thought about getting your tongue pierced? It is pierced. When you’re bored in class, what do you usually do? N/A yet. Do you like your phone? NO. Honestly, are things going the way you planned? Bitch hell no. Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? The woman who adopted Kaiju. I miss him, damn. Have you ever snuggled with someone you weren’t dating? No. Do you know a James? I knew one years ago. If you had to choose to have a different accent than the one you have now, what accent would you choose and why? British. It sounds sophisticated and just generally attractive to me. Have you ever or do you currently live in a Gated Community? I don't and never have. Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? Yeah. Have you ever owned an Axolotl? No, but they cute. What has been the longest amount of time you’ve spent on a plane? I actually don't know. Probably just around two hours. How often do you use Snapchat? I don't have one/never had. Have you ever adopted an animal from an animal shelter? Yes. Where do you usually find surveys from? Tumblr, and if I'm desperate, LiveJournal. Have you ever missed a flight? Yep. The airport biz took WAY longer than any of us expected. What is your favorite film from your childhood? The Lion King. I think it's always been my fave, honestly, I just never really thought about JUST HOW MUCH I love the film and its story since I was a kid. Do you know anyone who is named after a state? Uhhh I know at least one Caroline, and that's close enough? Jason's mom's name is a state, too. What was the reason for your previous doctor’s visit? I was getting a full blood panel done to check my thyroid. Have you ever been to an outdoor cinema? No. Well, my elementary school and church used to do these "movies on the lawn" type things where they used a huge projector to play a movie outside around late evening, but I don't know if that counts. Have you ever had a “bad trip”? If yes, what happened? N/A How often do you use Instagram? I usually check it once a day or two to follow certain celebs' stories 'n shit. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? If so, do you still smoke? No. Adam Sandler or Jim Carrey? Jim. Do you enjoy learning about conspiracy theories? If so, what is your favorite? Y'all know I love me some conspiracies. My favorite - as in most interesting, not that I seriously believe in it - is the one that our current reality is just a simulation from a "future" civilization for study or just play purposes. It's interesting to think about with alarming evidence. Elon Musk 100% believing in it puts more "hey this might actually be worth considering" into it, but I think I lean more towards it being false. It's not something I think about much though as I have THE most Detroit: Become Human mindset about it ever, lmao. It just doesn't matter to me. Wow, what a ramble. Do you find hand tattoos attractive on your preferred sex? I find tattoos (usually) attractive in general, so like- What is your favorite Netflix original series? I have no clue what's Netflix-exclusive. I don't watch it. Have you ever owned a Tamagotchi? Yep, or at least something similar to it. My sister especially loved those little things. Do you have a favorite “survey blog” on Tumblr? If so, who? Dunno if tagging random people in surveys is annoying, so I'll break the link, but @/thedarkeststarsurveys seems super cool and nice. Would you rather be able to control fire or water? Probably fire for self-defense purposes, and I just like fire. Water seems... overall pretty useless to control, unless you can like, manifest it. Then you could solve a world of problems. Have you ever used your phone in class or at work without anyone knowing? Actually no. Have you ever been to Canada? No. What is your favorite condiment to put on fries? Ketchup. Do any famous people follow you on Twitter or Instagram? Definitely not to my knowledge, but I highly doubt it. Do you usually take the stairs or the elevator? Elevator. Even though I'm scared of them. Stairs and my horrible knees don't mix. What salads do you usually get on your Subway order? None. Have you ever made your own cocktails at home? Not myself. My old friend did. Have you seen all the Star Wars films? I watched the first three disinterestedly with Girt once, and neither of us liked them. I didn't get the appeal at all. Do you own any shirts with funny words or pictures on them? Yeah. Are your eyes the same color they were when you were a baby? They were more blue. Do you take the pickle off your burgers? No. Who do you share your bathroom with? Anyone else in the house. What color is your bed frame? Brown. Have you ever kissed someone you met that day? No. Do you share a bed with anyone? No. Well, excluding Roman and sometimes Teddy. Name all the people you know that you’ve seen today. My mom. When a car cuts you off, is the driver a jerk or is there an explanation? "Most of the time the driver is a jerk." <<< Yep. What are your thoughts on cosmetic surgery? You do you, boo. Has a man/woman ever broke your heart? If so, have you recovered? Yes, and yes as well as a PTSD victim can; your brain is literally changed after trauma, and considering I still have dreams/nightmares about him very regularly and he suddenly crosses my mind literally every single day despite never wanting to think about him, I don't think you could consider me totally recovered. Name a few things that make you really happy. Really happy? Being with Sara, Mark doing so much as blinking, long car rides with my music blaring way too loud, finding a new song and binging it for hours, a mount dropping in WoW goddamn y'all I have over 300, being complimented on my photography (or like... anything), my niece and/or nephew saying they love me or anything along those lines without being prompted (ex. when leaving, that kinda stuff), going to Olive Garden 'cuz breadsticks and spicy shrimp fritas lol, finishing a drawing and actually liking the result, getting Venus out and she acts like a cuddlebug the whole time, uh... other stuff that isn't coming to me. What’s your favorite type of sushi? Never tried it, don't want to. Have you ever read a book about a character in a psych ward? I don't think so. Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? Too many times fuck but those days done fam. Do you take birth control pills? Currently for taming the pain and symptoms of my cycle, but it's hopefully changing to a longer, better solution soon to just totally eliminate it to remove its effects on my mood entirely for mental health tracking purposes. When’s the last time you got a new outfit? I don't buy full outfits. Do you have an imaginary best friend? (i.e., someone you wish was your best friend but currently isn’t) No. Do you like soy sauce? NO. Do you have a good doctor? I haven't had her long, but she's nice and seems knowledgeable. What’s your favorite store to browse around? Whew, Hot Topic my friends. Do you ever meditate on Scripture? No. Do you like poetry? Yeah. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend had? Dawson. Do you have expensive tastes? Definitely not. What is your dream job? Meerkat biologist or paleontologist. What is your favorite music style currently? I've been digging power metal a lot lately. I like, live off of Powerwolf. I've been wanting to find more symphonic metal I enjoy, too... Are you wearing comfortable clothes right now? Yeah. Is there a bad habit you’re trying to break right now? Yeah, rather just keep it quiet. Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your home town? Fuck. No. When is the last time you went to a fun fair? ~August 2015. I remember it because it happened pretty shortly before the breakup. How about an amusement park? I have zero clue. Probably not since I went to Disney World as a child. Ladies: Would you ever consider proposing? If not, why not? If I'm with a woman, yes. I don't really have a proper reason why I wouldn't if I was with a man... I have NO problem with women proposing to men, I just think I'd personally feel weird. Oh, that makes sense; the fact of how I am with men - scared and doubtful - probably says a good deal. I'd want to see "oh wow he actually wants to be with me so much he's asking himself." Gentlemen: How would you feel, if you were proposed to? N/A Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy? No. If so, which Shepard and who do you like romancing the best? N/A Let’s say there’s a person in need. They need money which they can’t make. Would you be more likely to help them out, if a celebrity asked you to? "Tbh right now I’m not really in a position to help anyone out financially. But hypothetically if I had the money to do so, some celebrity’s opinion wouldn’t matter." <<< This. When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish? Pretty much always. I don't tend to try new foods. Or do you always try out something new? ^ No. Would you rather live next to a kindergarten or an old folks’ home? Holy fuck, the latter. Living next to a school, esp. elementary, might even be a deal-breaker as far as buying a house goes. I'm not dealing with the noise and traffic. What was the last game that you played? I'm "playing" World of Warcraft currently, waiting for a stupid dinosaur to spawn to be denied a mount again. :^) What do you know about Finland? Nothing. Where was the postcard from that traveled the longest way to you? I don't think I've ever gotten a postcard. Have you ever made jewelry? Besides like those bead, "friendship," and plastic bracelets that were popular in the early 2000s, no. Which app do you use the most on your phone? Uhhhh I think Facebook? I don't use apps much. Did you learn to play an instrument as a kid? If so, which one? Recorders in elementary school and then flute in middle school-junior year in high school. What is the best part of your most ordinary day? Mark uploading cries. What’s your dad’s hair color? It's almost entirely gray now, but it's naturally black. Who was the last person you heard sing? Myself, I think. Surprisingly. Do you bite your lips a lot? My bottom one, occasionally. Have you ever dated someone with tattoos? For less than a day. Did you donate to Haiti? No. I've never had a source of stable income. Are your parents rich? BITCH- What’s your mom’s job? She's a pharmacy tech. Have you ever thrown up in public? Yes. In the middle of my 1st grade class lmaaaoooo. Have you ever failed gym in school? No. Are you scared of dogs? Nope. What reality show would you like to be in? None. What TV show makes you laugh? Most consistently, That '70s Show. Doesn't matter that I've seen I think every episode multiple times, I still laugh so easily at it. Family Feud gets me good too, if it's Steve Harvey hosting it. Have you ever heard of Joe Purdy? If so, do you like his music? Never heard of 'im. What is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Probably Johnny Got His Gun. Would you ever wear real fur? Fuck no. Who do you envy and why? Successful people. Because I'm the polar opposite. What color is the house you live in? Khaki. Which one of your friends is most likely to be famous one day? Why? Probablyyyy... Shannen. She is phenomenal at photography and already employed in NY with a fashion company for it. I am unbelievably envious of her, too, but also very happy. She deserves it. Do you have a favorite cousin? No. I rarely ever see my cousins, and if I do, it's usually just two. What is the worst present you have ever gotten? I've never gotten a "bad" gift. I appreciate the thought behind anything. Like I've gotten things entirely unrelated to me, but I still appreciate them. Who was it from? N/A Who is your favorite author? Don't have one. Do you shave your arms? No.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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zebraslovescupcakestoo · 6 years ago

Text

A Brother’s Promise

It was mid September when they decided to throw an unexpected surprise party at the Disney company. Oswald himself was told by his charismatic little brother, Mickey, to help them set up. It didn't bothered him too much since he's going to be making most of the snacks like seafood and other buffet variety stuff. As long as it was healthy and that he had help.

Except that Mickey never gave his answer about what is it about and he just said 'It's a surprise!' and he has to wait along with the other staffs at their father's company.

No matter what people say about their father, Mickey and Oswald where actually well respected. They were actually the ones who made their family's name much better than their old man himself. They don't believed of getting their high positioned jobs through 'please, daddy' and they have it with a beautiful red bow. No no no! They even insisted that they worked FOR it and earned their keeps to achieved it.

Mickey was their best animator at the company aside from Ubbe Eert Iwerks. Unlike most cliche boss’s kid attitude they all thought he would have, he was very optimistic, hard working, colorful and very kind person. He was just like his cartoon counter part and Disney's iconic mascot. Everyone who worked with him were always happy.

Oswald was his older brother and the head mechanic of the new Disneyland maintenance team. It was a quite a surprise for them when he was an inventor of a sort and even more when they learned that he was a five times champion from Chinese boxing tournaments. Not even his size was estimated by bigger guys you could meet at the night bars. He was similar to his brother's optimistic mind but more realistic. He was mature, calm, smooth and can sometimes be intimidating if he catches someone being disrespectful to his brother or to another person. (Or if one of his staffs being lazy without putting a descent amount of work first too.) Nevertheless, he was very well respected and liked.

Both were at the presence once the big night have arrived. The party was inside their studio due to a thunder/rain storm and the room was like one of those school prom but with their animator's team, the maintenance’s team, even their janitors and their three, old maids from their 'old' home that took care of them since they were little aside their mother when she used to work as the secretary.

Oswald was just standing alone, leaning at a naked wall that wasn't covered with a curtain or piled up with chairs. He was wearing his favorite blue vest with a dragon on, along with a white rolled up sleeves, black gloves, black dress pants and knee high boots. He didn't do much with his twin tailed hair aside he groomed it very well. He was observing everyone and just listened whenever he heard something interesting. He also had a punch cup in one of his hand.

He always was shown as a 'second' best compared to his popular brother, but he knows better that it wasn't his brother's fault that he has that certain charm and that his brother will always there for him. Even at his worst one time...

He then noticed that his brother was emerging from the crowd as he was attempting to leave them for a moment. He was wearing his signature rep carpet night outfit. He had his black suit with his matching red bow tie, white shirt, yellow gloves, red dress pants and his best pair of black dressed shoes. He finally arrived with a big plate full of a variety of delicacies that he made most of them that was enough for two.

“I figured you wanted something to eat. I haven't seen you at the buffet earlier.” Mickey started their conversation. “I was just thirsty at the time.” Oswald stated, but he did took some vegetables off his plate. “You looked good tonight.” He complemented his little brother. Mickey flustered at this sudden unexpected praise. “Oh! Er, Thank you! You look handsomer- er, I mean, more handsome! Like, you look great too!” He fumbled his words as Oswald chuckled a bit at his brother's little goofy moment. “Ha ha, thank you.”

They took a couple of minutes of silence to watch over among their workers as they all socialized as they much on. Oswald then broke off their silence. “It's still amazing that even with what's been going on in the world, I'm glad that there's some good times like these.” Mickey tried to think of another subject. “Say, how's that new role with that martial arts movie they've been working on?”

“Where have you heard that?” Oswald raised an eyebrow. Did his little brother still kept an eye out for him, even with his busy schedule? “You know I've been keeping up with what's going on with the movie sets, you can't hide it from me. I know you'll be great with that leading role of martial art vigilante.” Mickey smirked with a wink. He knew that his big brother will be well suited for this role and a great opportunity for him to stand out from their shadows. “I know you deserve it.”

“I doubt it would be successful. It's been a while since the industry made those kinds of Chinese influenced films and most were barely recognizable here in the states.” Oswald stated. “Don't think like that! I saw that part of the shoot and I think it would look great on the big screen once it's done! I bet that more people will love to see it once they noticed your awe inspiring fighting techniques!” Mickey tried to cheer him up. “Or maybe IF it flunked like you'd said, you can always try for a cooking show special.”

“You already beat me at that.” He said. “Just a dessert special, but you can still make a pretty good Eastern meals like the ones you've made tonight. They're very delicious just like mom used to make-!” Mickey then realized that he brought up a bit of a touchy subject. It wasn't offensive, it just that she passed away almost a decade ago. They both loved their mother and they reminisces of how they used to be as a real family. “I.. know she would have been very proud of your cooking skills if she was still with us today.” Mickey said what he think their late mother would have said to his older brother. “True, but I think she would have said your desserts were the best tonight first.” Oswald tried to be more realistic. “Not exactly! Mom was-*Sniff sniff* Do you smell something amazingly familiar?” Mickey asked and then he too took a sniff. They then both took a good silent whiff until they realized what it is. They then turn on each other with sparking stars in their eyes and spoke with a smile. “Chocolate!” They said in union.

No matter how much of a heath conscious, young men they were, they both love chocolate sweets, especially Mickey.

They noticed that they've just put a chocolate fountain along with a variety of fresh cut fruits. If Mickey did knew about it, Oswald would have noticed it sooner. “I'm going to get a bunch! I've saved my sweet tooth for this!” He then rushes to it. Guess that leaves the rabbit in charge of their drinks.

It didn't take him long for him to get milk, but he can't say the same thing about his little brother. Getting their fruits and chocolates were easy, it's the crowd that's keeping him 'captive.' Oswald was thankful that he didn't have to deal with that kind of attention. He would have laugh it off for all the times he wished he was more popular, now he was just thankful for having his little 'privacy' time.

It may took a few minutes, but Mickey finally made it. He was a bit short of breath. “So sorry... They... wouldn't... stop asking... for everything.” “Here, let's take a seat before you drop and create more attention for yourself.” He said and suggested to their seats behind him. They immediately started to clean up their plate and chocolate dip. Occasionally, there was someone who came up to Mickey for a small talk and that leaves Oswald for more samples that he took advantage, but he did leave some for Mickey and the last one. He finished it off and then admittedly said. “Sometimes, I envy your personal time alone.”

He was surprised at that. “I wouldn't say that. You have what most people want to be these days in this movie or animated industries.” Mickey wanted to corrected that confusion. “I'm not saying that I don't like it, it's just... I get a little overwhelmed sometimes and... I get a little tired sometimes too.” He then rested his head on his shoulder to emphasis it. Oswald may not know all what's going on with Mickey's celebrity life style, but he can see behind that mask he puts up in front of everyone that he gets tired, in more meanings than that.

He then noticed their father, Walt Disney, and one of their top animators, Ubbe Eert Iwerks, entered and they made quite a commotion. He also saw Ubbe holding a large envelope which he's guessing it might contain some sketches for either a cartoon or a new park ride. He bets it's for a cartoon cause if it WAS for a new park ride, he would know it way before anybody! He nudged his shoulder to wake him up. “Hey, dad's here.” Mickey grunted a bit and snapped his eyes opened once he realized it. “Ah! Finally! Quick Ozzy! We need you to be there before he announces the big surprise.” Oswald was confused but before he said anything else, Mickey quickly grabbed his wrist and dragged him to their father's side.

Oswald was curious of why he was needed when it was just a cartoon promotions. It was usually his brother's spotlight moments for those occasions. He did have those kinds of spotlights too for a new attraction or mechanics ideas. Why the sudden switch?

He was then placed on his father's left side and everybody looked at them. Walt then spoke. “I would like to start by saying thank you for everybody that has made it tonight's celebration of the return of a once beloved character.”

Oswald raised an eye brow. Surely it wasn't supposed to be Mickey in his spot? He looked at his little brother and he was just pumped up with excitement with little hops. Seemingly that it's a surprise that involves him and he had something to do with it.

His father continued as he was doing that. “Years ago, back when Ub and myself used to work for the Universe Studio animations, we've created a cartoon character for the company that we used to think that it will become one of the most beloved character for children of all ages. Along with other animators, we've made about twenty-six shorts before... an dispute for a proposal. Despite that it was our creation, under their contract and agreement, we had to leave that character behind. That character is also named Oswald that my late wife and myself gave to our first son.” He then placed a hand on Oswald's shoulder. He was surprised just as much as almost everybody else in the room.

He knew that he had a vague memory on the cartoons he used to watch that had a similar name and that he knew that his little brother was named after their company mascot, but he would NEVER imagine that he was too, named after another character his father created even BEFORE he founded the company.

“After many years, Ub and I wanted to bring back that lucky rabbit back to the animated family.” His father replied and then it was Ube's turn. “We did many times to negotiate a few, but ended with no results until Mickey came for one more try.” Then everybody turned to Mickey as he just waved a bit. “To be honest, I don't really exactly know what he did to convinced them, but somehow he manage to have them hand over the rights of the character. Now that it's official, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit is now welcomed in the Disney Animation Studios. We might say that he's like the older brother like ours is.” Ube lightly complimented him as he opened up the envelope and showed the rabbit character that was singed by Walt and Mickey themselves.

Then everybody was in cheers and clapping gleefully. Oswald was blushing but feel extremely happy on the inside and smiled a little. He then got surprised as his little brother picks him up with his usual bro hug with a big grind on his face. Which on the side note, he's ridiculously strong despite his size. “Eeeeeee! I'm so proud of you! Now we both have characters as true brothers!”

“Yeah... Thanks... can't... breathe... Mickey.” Oswald spoke while trying to catch some fresh air from his little brother's binding hugging arms.

Then suddenly the joy was interrupted with a loud thunder clapping and a door burst opened. Everybody looked at the direction of their front exit door as Mickey then puts Oswald down gently.

There were two individuals. One that was a bit higher and bigger than the average person and the other one was about the same height and size as Mickey. But this isn't just random people they don't know. It's actually the people they knew very well from their debut as the CEO's of Joey Drew Studio the Third.

Bendy DeMon and Boris Wolfenstein. Bendy had the signature white tuxedo with a black floof from his red carpet debut while Boris had on his overly large fur coat with his black fedora and matching tuxedo suit holding the umbrella.

Everybody was in shock as they came in to 'greet' them. They all whispered among themselves. Some were nervous, others were a bit bitter from the fact that they knew him a bit too well when they used to work under them.

“Why... It's Bendy DeMon.” “The newest chairman of that notorious Joey Drew Studios?” “Did the Disneys invited them?” “No, I don't think so.” “What does he want here?” “I preferred the thunderstorm's company over them.” “Shh! They'll hear you!”

Despite all the whispers they 'might' have heard, both of them weren't fazed at all. They then reached to Ube, Walt, Oswald and Mickey.

Bendy spoke. “Well, quite a glittering assemblage, dear Waltz. The animators, the mechanics, the janitors, the maids and...” He then sees the brothers and chuckles “How quaint. Even the rabbles.” Mickey tries to protest, but Oswald holds him back.

It was no secret that both Mickey and Bendy had a sour history between them and behind the curtains. Nobody knew how it all started and barely knew how it ended. The only things for sure is that Mickey doesn't like the way Bendy treated his animators poorly, despite how well they were paid and how he acted like a stereotypical, celebrity jerk with a big ego.

Bendy despise Mickey due to the fact that he was the complete opposite of him and that he was just like his animated counterpart. They think that the reason is that he was probably just jealous of his humble reputation and he was a well respected individual.

Nevertheless, they both have a rocky relationship and that they both once agreed to keep it 'just between themselves.'

Bendy kept his classy demeanor in the presence of his 'enemy's territory.' “I was surprised to noticed you we're all having a humble peasant party. I really felt quite distressed at not receiving an invitation.” He responded as he took out a cigarette and fumbled in his pocket for a lighter.

“You weren't wanted and this is a no smoking zone. Do it outside if you had to!” One of their animator's spoke up against him. “Not wan-!” He was surprised and dropped his cigarette from his mouth. Everybody turned to the guy who had protested. “Tony! What are you doing? You're going to get in trouble!” His friend who was next to him said.

Under 'normal' circumstances, Bendy and Boris would have made... arrangements for mouthing them off. But since this isn't their territory, they can't do it, but they can 'intimidate' and provoke.

Bendy took a shot. “Tony? As in Tony Teebits? That lousy, wannabe animator who proposed to me months ago with a new cat character? And then he was fired with a farewell gift of a half a box of raisin muffins? HA ha ha! Don't tell me Nickel Mousey and his pops hired you here.” He mocked him off.

But the guy surprised him with agreement. “Yes they did! And their treatments were much better than your pays!” That made him grumbled and showed his gritting teeth. Bendy then mumbled. “You better pray that we don't found out where you live, tick flea!” He then cleared his throat, turns around to the Disney family and resumed his classy speech. “Oh dear, what an awkward situation! I've noticed it from someone and stopped here out of curiosity. What kind of children party is it?” He asked teasingly to Walt.

“It's a celebration of the return of Oswald the lucky rabbit character. I'm sure you've met my elder son before, right?”

“You mean Oddball the forgettable rabbit? Hardly knew him.” He disses him and that angers Mickey as he was holding in.

“Maybe this will help you jog a memory. The design is still a bit out dated, but I think it will suit him well once we start a new animated shorts.” Ube showed him the rabbit character and he was overly exaggerated with his disgusted expression. “Ugh! Oh, I wouldn't ask the devil himself to take him! Too old school and no appeal. What a horrid, corny, rabbit rip-off!”

Mickey then defended at that point. “You shouldn't judge a character base on their looks! Give him a chance in the spotlight!” Walt then jumped in for a calmer conversation. “Mickey has a point. We're doing a storyboard of the first few episodes. He'll be like a co-star character like Donald Duck or Goofy and we're also planning on making a few merchandise along the way.” Oswald then pulls his brother away as Mickey still giving him the angry stare.

“You mean you haven't made this 'publicly' yet?” Bendy asked out of curiosity. Everybody raised an uneasy suspicion. What does he mean? Ube then told him. “Not quite. We've just reveal our reclaim and that we'll announce it in public in a few days.”

He then maliciously smiled and took out a check book. “If it's not made in 'public' yet, I'll buy it from you right now. Just name your price, old chap!” He then set it on the table that was a free space of the varieties of desserts.

Everybody was in shock. But then Mickey marched up to him and said. “Bendy! You can't just buy him off! We worked really hard to have him back and I can't just hand him off over a check!” Oswald followed him up afterwards for protection. He knew that Mickey and Bendy were popular in their 'public image,' but there's another side of them that might get ugly.

Bendy tsked at him. “You think I was talking to you? You're just a measly animator under daddy's work. I'm talking to the REAL boss here!” He shows no sing of respect to him as he took out his pen. “Hey Walt! How much for that rabbit?”

“I'm afraid you've asked the wrong person. In actuality, Mickey was the one who have the rights of Oswald and in any future events that something happens to me, so will his animated character.” Walt explained.

Bendy was shocked. “What? You're telling me that his guy is going to be in charge one day AND who I'm supposed to be 'nice' with?” Boris the calms him down. “He does have a point.” He just tsked at Boris and then spoke to the crowd. “Don't make me laugh again. He only worked 'officially' for three years and you all treat him like he was some sort of an idol of a cult.”

Ube tried to reassure him. “He might be young but he is just as responsible as a successful animator.” Everybody was agreeing with him. Except for the two uninvited guests.

Bendy then had another idea. For an insult. “That I agreed. Once this place is bankrupted, he'll be selling his kindergarten pictures for fifty cents each, while his 'big bro' will be recycling old cardboard boxes for their new houses. AH hahahahaha!” He mockingly laugh it off while Mickey and Oswald frowned at that and crossed their arms.

They were used to Bendy's mockery of their art and mechanic skill receptively, but they still weren't impressed of his idea against their humility and compassion to the people around them.

He then proceeds to write in his check book after he cleared his throat. “Now really, enough of this childish games, Mousey. I'll pay you twice of what it's worth.” He started to write a bit. “Come now! I'm really being more than 'generous' here for an 'old friend.'” He then realized that there was no ink coming out of his signature pen. He then shook it violently as he said. “Blast this custom made pen. Blast-this-wreched-F#-KIN-PEN! BLARGH! *Gasped! *” He was surprised at the end when the ink splattered out and sprinkled at the front. Only to be stained on Mickey's signature soiree tuxedo as he shielded it from getting on Oswald's favourite white and blue dragon vest.

Everybody was shocked when it happened. They we're expecting a heated argument at any moment, like most people would do if they've ruined a lovely suit, but Mickey didn't. Despite that happened, he still has that angry expression, remains calm and dust off invisible dusts. Oswald was surprised of his brother, he knew that he would be there for him but not at this level.

Bendy then chuckled nervously, but he then continued to write again as if that never happened. “Oh... well. At least you still have that old black suit. Now then! How much do you want and when will you hand over the rights? Tomorrow? Three days?”

It was just then Mickey had enough. “Never.” He would say in a rare tone that he would use to anyone unless it was serious. Bendy was taken aback and then looks up to Mickey. “I'm sorry, has my request left you confused? Let me simplify: I will buy Oswald the Lucky Rabbit from you by twice the worth you've paid.” He then glared at him with a menacing smile. “I understood you and I said 'Never.' I am not selling that character. Do you understand?” Mickey wasn't budging from his position.

He knew the real Bendy before he became a famous CEO of Joey Drew Studio. He has a few ideas of the real 'reason' why he wanted to own the rights of his brother's cartoon character he was named after. He knew that he would make him the butt of the cartoon Bendy's jokes and if one day they wanted to get rid of him, they would burn all of the character models and proof so that he or someone in the Disney family wouldn't get the chance to have him back again. He knew that would not only insult his older brother, but to anger him personally!

Bendy raised an eyebrow and then turned to the crowd with a playful act. “Did anyone heard this? Is he rally serious about missing a chance of cash opportunity over a little character? I... Ha! I really am confused.” He then tore a slip from his check book and then Boris tried to say that he seems serious until he then cuts him off. “Oh Boris, he MUST be joking.” He then handed out the check to Mickey, but he still refused. “No, I mean it, Bendy. You are not getting Oswald.” He tighten his fists besides him.

Bendy then persisted and kept his mask under pressure as he demanded again. “I said. I. Want. to. Buy. That. Stupid. Rabbit.” He once again flashed his check in front of him, but he still refused. “No matter how many times you'll say it, I will not change my answer. You are not getting him and that's final!” Mickey put his foot down as it encouraged some of the other people in the room.

“Yeah!” “You tell him, Mick!” “Oswald deserves better!” “He's your brother!” “He's not a loser!” “He's better than this!”

That made Bendy angrier and then he spat. “Are you people serious? You expect that faith, trust and pixie dust crap thing will help you with your futures, finances and all that sh!t? Nobody barely knew this rabbit and you think that he will be just as popular as that Nickel Mousey HE was named after with just a few episodes?” He then pointed at Mickey.

Oswald had just about enough of him and decided to 'escort' him out before it escalated. However, Mickey raised his arms to block him to prevent him of doing so. “And just how can you be so certain that it will not succeed if he hasn't given a chance? If he's not as popular as you say, the he will be at least on the same level as Goofy and Donald Duck! Just wait and see what we can do with our hard work and creativity!” Mickey protested and then the whole room cheered with him.

It was by then Bendy started to loose his temper. “Why you- Bunch of- Lunatics- Happy-” He then decided to tore up the check. “Alright, Mickey! You win! Keep that rodent forgettable character for all I care! Do whatever your animators wanted to do with him! Roast him at Easter supper!” He then threw the pieces up in the air like confetti. “But if you're begging on the streets, don't you ever come near me asking for help. Boris!” He shouted him as if it was a signal to leave. “I'm through with all of you! You amateur animators! You rusty mechanics! You house maids toilet cleaners! The old Farts!” He then decided to display his bitterness by throwing an uncut whip cream pie to the crowd while he said his final piece. “AND THOSE BRATTY, RODENT BROTHERS MICKEY AND OSWALD F#CKING DISNEY!” The whole crowd was surprised as the pie was flung rapidly across the room and even more shockingly, there was a person who caught it with such ease as if it remained intact. It was Mickey. He then held it with his right has and rest his fist on his hip as he then glared back again at Bendy as they left the building.

The whole room was silent apart there was a faint sound of ripping tire that can be heard from outside, indicating that they must have left in fury. Mickey then took a deep breath and then spoke. “I'm sorry. It was me that he was really after.” He then placed the pie back on the table. But the old maids spoke out. “It's not your fault, Mickey!” “Flora's right. He wasn't supposed to be invited.” “Bendy is just jealous of you and Oswald solely cause you both work really hard to get where you are now!”

He then smiled at them. “Thank you, Miss Flora, Fauna and Merrywheather. It seems that this unfortunate event has put an end to this party.”

“Oh, that's not entirely true! We're really happy for you two!” One of the animators said. “The ladies are right! Oswald, the cartoon rabbit, is back to this rightful family! The foods you both prepared is delicious and you showed the 'real' brat that he can't get away with anything!” Then it was one of the mechanics team who said it. Everybody was saying the same thing along with Ube and Walt.

“I think you need to take the rest of the night off. We can all take care of the rest here.” Walt told Mickey. He knew that he was soaked in ink and that moment he stood up for his brother had took quite the energy.

“I can take him home.” Oswald told their father. “Oh! thank you, Oswald. You're very thoughtful for your little brother. I will see both of you soon.” Walt was then now at ease knowing that they will be fine.

Both of them were excused for the night.

---- Time skipping on a Hawaiian roller coaster ride! ------

It took a while for Mickey to get some of the ink that flung on his skin by Bendy before he came out of the bathroom with his PJ's. It was just his regular outwear of white shirt and red pants. He went to their living room to tell his brother that the bath's free until he caught him seeing one of his sketches. He quietly walked over to see that it was the ones he was making with his counterpart character and his brother's.

“Do you like him?” Mickey asked him. He looked at him with a shocked reaction and then regained his composure. “Ah! Mickey! You've surprised me!...” He then looked at his character again. “I... know that it seems a bit outdated, but I did tried my best to be as close as it can be to it's original and it's similarities.” Mickey explained to him with honesty. Despite that most of their Disney characters had a major makeovers over twenty years, Oswald still had his original looks but a bit more... brother's look a like similarities. “Nah... I think he looks great as a 'half brother' for him.” Oswald smiled at it.

“I did manage to have almost three episodes done. So I hope once they've been release, he's going to be famous just like mine!” Mickey cheered himself up. “That's pretty, overly optimistic, even for you. I... I'm just really happy that I too, had a character that I was named after... Although I did remembered that it was from that Universal Studio animations and it was from more than a decade ago...” Oswald sighed.

He couldn't say that he never 'knew' about this character. In fact, he actually heard this story from about a decade ago, in one of those father and son moments when it was just him and Walt. He remembered that he say one of his father's early sketches from his old animation jobs. He remembered of the early depictions of this character that had a similar name to his. He remembered that he and Walt had a one on one chat about the truth of this. His original characters, the heated exchange between him and his boss and how he had to make a difficult choice to leave him behind. He remembered that it was one of those moments that he can see in his father's eyes that he was sad about the whole thing and that he wished that he could have done better for him...

“How did you discovered about all of this? Dad was very secretive with his old sketches, even with us.” Oswald asked him. He had an idea on one detail he also remembered. As much as Mickey tried, he's an awful liar. “I, er... was... looking for a, er, pencil or something dad wanted me to get, and er, yeah. He might have absent, mindlessly had it out in the open at the time!” He smiled nervously, thinking his brother might buy it.

Which it didn't work. “Funny, cause I knew you were peeping me and dad from the door. I can see you from the slightly open door frame almost ten years back.” Mickey gasped. “Oh, and while we're on that subject, this isn't the first time you've been following me.” Oswald smirked and gave an impression just like their mother would have made if she knew what they've been up to.

Mickey frantically responded. “Me? Following you? Why, I knew you disliked me being around you and with everybody-”

“You've used dad's old clothes to disguise yourself at any events I would be. Chinese Boxing tournaments, drag racing and even at one time, an invention expose when I was fifth-teen.” Oswald cuts him off. Mickey's expression was dumbfounded. But then he finally admits with hands up. “Alright, fine. I admit. I did went to see you compete and also that time with dad. I knew that if I'd made myself public wherever you were, people will take attention away from you and the competitors. You'd always hated that, but I just wanted to be supportive of what you do and your career. So I hid myself for that and I wanted to let you know that there's people who appreciate you for being, well, you. Not me, not dad or even our family name!” He played with his fingers. “And... I do look up to you.”

“What?” Oswald said in disbelief. He, Mickey, looks up to someone like him? Someone who's spend more time in the family's shadow than he does at the junkyard for invention parts?

“I mean...” Mickey timidly confessed to him. “You're always been so more... mature than most people. Apart from when we fight and nobody's around... But you've always been more in independent than I am. You've practically made enough to live on your own, not to mention you're a better fighter than I am, you solve problems better than I could have done or at least less damaging, and you've got that 'cool guy' thing that stands out when it's your turn to shine like Dean Martin!” He then got sadder, which was rare even from him. “Compared to me... behind my public mask, I'm probably too optimistic for my own good. I'm almost nothing like you and yet...I felt you're not being appreciated enough while I'm...” He struggles for the appropriate things to say as he bow his head down.

However, his big brother knew what he wanted to say and he steps in. “Mickey... You don't need to go that far for me. Remember when I was eleven around Christmas time that I was very ill?”

He looks up to him again. “Yeah... You were so sick that you had to be hospitalized. I cried almost every night you were there.” It was one of the most painful moments for him. He and Oswald were inseparable and they both shared everything, even when they've had different ideas, they both usually find a way to work thing out.

“Remember that I was so ill that I wouldn't be able to watch the Christmas parade that included dad's float that year?” He added. “Yeah... Dad wanted me to be on it with the mascots, but... I escaped. At the time, I was so mad at him for not caring for you and that he cared more about the float than your well being.” Mickey was a bit ashamed at this early childish actions.

“After you ran off, I remembered from what dad told me that he and other people was looking everywhere for you until he had a good idea of where you'd be. He found you sleeping with me with that Winnie the Pooh book that mom used to read to us.” Oswald said. “He was a bit angry at you, but it wasn't for ditching, you've worried him just as much as anyone else who was working with us at the time.”

“I... didn't meant to cause that much trouble. I was just upset that dad and the people didn't cared for you except me.” Mickey then got an unexpected surprise from his 'cool' brother.

Oswald was hugging him with one of his hand on his head. “Did you remembered what you've said after dad ranted on your 'actions?'” Mickey was still silent for a bit. Oswald then gave his answer. “You said that you didn't cared for whatever Christmas specials and what the company had provided, you just wanted me back. That... really made me feel special enough and why people respected you much better than Bendy. You cared. You're kind, optimistic, helpful, even considerate for people's feelings. You've put more efforts in your work just like any other senior animators and they love to chat or hang out with you. Even if you had to put your foot down on those times like you did with Bendy earlier, you were standing up on our beliefs and what really mattered. You don't need to change that, not even for me.”

That made him teary and hug him back. “Ozzy...*Sniff * That was one of the nicest things you've said to me.”

“Don't start the water works. You'll get red eyes in the morning.” Oswald told him as they settled down for the night.

----Author’s notes-----

I KNOW! I KNOW! It’s been a while since I’ve posted a fanfic here!

It’s like I’ve been a bit busy with work, watching shows and gaming. I did wanted to write but when I do, I get writers block!

Anyways! I did made a few scene combo references from 101 Dalmatians, Sleeping Beauty and Frozen along with some Disney’s character references.

I imagine from one point that Mickey and Oswald were once good friends with Bendy until a certain event happened that made them ‘very’ bitter.

The only reason why they didn’t lash out in a blood bath is was to maintain their ‘public’ image... Who knows what will happened behind those masks.

I also imagined that Oswald had gained some sort of independence and set himself apart from the animation family for his mechanics and that Mickey really does look up to him for that. (which made him self-conscious of his independence and work his way to the top too!)

But this is just a fanfiction, please tell me of what you think! Love is welcome!

The Bendy Before the Ink Machine AU and humanoid characters belongs to Marini4. Disney references belongs to the company itself.

#bendy before the ink machine #bendy #mickey #mickey mouse #oswald #oswald the lucky rabbit #humanoid #humanized #OC #Disney #fanfiction #marini4

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pinkamour1588 · 6 years ago

Text

Home is where the heart is

Mood board/header made by the fantastic @theenchantedgalleryofstories / @yourtropegirl

Pairing: McKirk

Summary: Modern!AU Single dads Leonard and Jim and the road to falling in love

Warnings: NSFW moment

Word count: 9,729 (oops?)

Beta’d: No

“If it comes to it, who do you want us to focus on? Her or the baby?” the doctor asked

“The baby,” she answered without a second thought.

“No. No, we can get pregnant again,” Jim said desperately.

“They have a better chance, Jim.”

“No, Ellie.”

“I’ve made my decision.”

He stared back at his wife in utter shock and horror. “What about Izzy?” he whispered.

“She has you.”

“She needs you too.”

“Jim, the baby has a better chance of survival if worse comes to worst. I love you. And I love Izzy. But we have to be realistic.”

He bit his bottom lip and nodded, leaning down and kissing her before she was taken to the operating room.

And then forty minutes later, the doctor came and told him the words he feared the most. “She’s gone.”

She’s gone. The words rang through Jim’s head as he tossed and turned in the too empty bed. He scrubbed a hand over his face and stared at the ceiling, utterly exhausted. He looked over at the crib in the corner of the room and his chest clenched when a small cry came from within it. He dragged himself out of bed, walking over to the crib.

“Hey, Elise,” he murmured at the four-month-old as he picked her up, holding her to his chest as he checked her diaper. “You hungry?” He glanced at the time and sighed. Six-thirty in the goddamn morning. He adjusted his hold on her as he walked down the hall to the kitchen.

Once the bottle was prepared, he sat on the couch, his feet on the coffee table as he fed her. She’d taken after Ellie. Tanned skin, dark hair and eyelashes. But her eyes. Well, Jim was grateful she didn’t get Ellie’s eyes.

He was woken up around nine by a three-year-old, or three-and-a-half-year-old, thank you very much, shaking him.

“Daddy,” Izzy said.

“Yes?” he mumbled blinking and looking over at her.

“I’m hungry.”

“Let’s get you something to eat then.” He made sure he had a good hold on Elise before standing and walking to the kitchen. “Which cereal?”

“Cocoa puffs,” she grinned.

“What’s the word?” He got a purple bowl out of the cabinet.

“Please.”

He smiled to himself as he fixed her a bowl of cereal. Once she was settled at the table, he took Elise back down the hall to her crib.

***

He was vaguely grateful for how much Izzy had worn him out that day because he fell asleep almost instantly when he got into bed that night. Unfortunately, he was woken up two hours later, not by a crying baby, but by Izzy tugging on his hand.

“What?” he groaned, probably sounding a lot harsher than he intended.

“Daddy,” Izzy whined in just the right way that made Jim open his eyes instantly.

Through the dark he could faintly make out her flushed, tear stain cheeks. “What’s wrong, Iz?” he asked.

She whimpered.

“Isabelle, I can’t help if you don’t tell me.”

“Threw up.”

Jim sighed softly as he pushed himself up. “Where?”

“Bed.”

“Do you still feel like you’re going to?”

She started shaking her head, then nodded.

“Toilet. Now.” He gestured toward the master bathroom, making sure she made it to the toilet before going to her room. He tried not to vomit himself as he pulled the soiled bedding off and took it to the laundry room, shoving it haphazardly in the wash with some detergent. Not the best method but he was too tired to deal with it properly. He decided against remaking her bed, just grabbing a pillow and going to his room where he laid a blanket on the opposite side of his bed. He went to the kitchen getting a Tupperware bowl Izzy could use as a vomit bowl. “All done, sweetie?” he asked as he walked into the bathroom and knelt next to her.

She nodded and held her arms out to him. He stood and picked her up.

“Daddy,” she mumbled, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around the back of his neck. “I can sleep with you?”

“Yeah, you’re sleeping with me tonight,” he nodded as he carried her into the bedroom.

Once he had her settled on the bed, he got in and hoped that he would be able to fall back asleep quickly. As he closed his eyes, he felt Izzy move closer and curl up into his side. He smiled to himself, putting an arm around her.

***

It’s probably just the flu. She’ll be fine. Jim reminded himself as he pushed her sweaty hair off her forehead the next evening.

“Daddy, I feel yucky,” she whined.

“I know, Iz. You’ll be better soon,” he answered, then thought for a moment and asked, “Do you want to watch a movie with me?”

“I can stay up?” She perked up a little at the prospect.

“Yeah.” She’s going to fall asleep anyway.

So, fifteen minutes later, he sat on the couch with Izzy curled up next to him, watching some Disney movie he’d seen far too many times. Less than an hour into the movie, she was fast asleep.

Over the next few hours, her fever got worse, or at least went up a degree and a half and between her coughing in her sleep and the fever, and probably Jim’s sleep deprivation, he started freaking out. Just the flu. Just the flu. Just the…

He was cut off by the sound of Izzy vomiting. When he looked over from where he sat feeding Elise, Izzy was sitting up with vomit all down the front of her shirt and on her lap.

“C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up,” he gestured for her to follow him to the bathroom. “Shirt and pants off. Can you wait till Elise is done eating?”

Izzy nodded. Thankfully, Elise was almost done with her bottle anyway. Jim set her in her crib and grabbed Izzy a clean pair of pajamas and underwear before heading back to the bathroom. He ran Izzy a bath, making the water on the cooler side. He sat on the floor helping make sure she got cleaned up properly. After the third time he had to have her get out so he could drain and rinse the vomit out of the bathtub, he settled for stripping down to his boxers and helping her shower.

Once she was clean, dried off, and dressed, he changed out of his wet boxers into a dry pair and a pair of sweatpants. He had her sit on the couch holding the Tupperware bowl with her back to him as he combed her hair. When he finished, he paused for a minute, making his decision. He was probably overreacting, but he’d lost just about all his ability to not with Ellie’s death. So, he helped Izzy get her shoes and jacket on and put a shirt and his own shoes and jacket on. Shoving his keys and wallet in his pockets the carried a now sleeping Elise and led Izzy out to the car.

He doesn’t exactly remember the drive to the hospital beyond just asking Izzy to aim for the bowl when she vomited.

“What is with parents bringing their kids in for every little thing,” a gruff voice muttered just close enough to the curtained off bed where Jim sat with Izzy and Elise asleep in her car seat next to him.

Jim stomach dropped. He knew he was overreacting. Izzy’s flu could wait until the next morning for her to see the pediatrician. But she was his little girl and he wanted to do everything he could to make her feel better. When the curtain was pulled back, he was too busy making sure Izzy’s still damp hair stayed out of her face as she vomited into the bowl the nurse had provided to look at who had walked in.

“Hello,” that same gruff voice said as he closed the curtain behind him. Except it was softer now. Gentler. “What brings you in?”

“Her dad overreacting to what’s probably just a flu,” Jim answered, still not looking at the doctor. Whether his decision not to was out of concern for Izzy and not wanting to take his eyes off her for a second or if it was because he was too scared to make eye contact with the doctor who he had just overheard complaining about parents like him, Jim wasn’t sure.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?” the doctor asked.

“Izzy,” she answered.

“I’m Dr. McCoy,” he smiled at her as she went into a coughing fit. “That sounds pretty nasty, Izzy. How long have you been coughing like that?” He phrased it as if he was speaking to her despite the fact he was asking Jim.

“Um, a day. I think,” Jim answered furrowing his eyebrows. All the days blurred together half the time.

“Have you been drinking lots of water?”

“It’s mostly juice. I realize the sugar content of that stuff is awful for her and I try to dilute it a bit, but I can’t too much and…”

“Mr.…” Dr. McCoy glanced at Izzy’s chart before continuing, “Kirk, I assume. She’s been drinking plenty of fluids, yes?”

Jim nodded.

“Good. That’s good.” Jim could feel the doctor’s gaze on him before Dr. McCoy looked back at Izzy. “How about food? You been eating, Izzy?”

She nodded sniffling. Dr. McCoy held out a box of tissues and Jim took one, helping her blow her nose.

“What’ve you been eating?” Dr. McCoy asked.

“Daddy makes pancakes.”

“And soup and oatmeal and crackers,” Jim filled in quickly.

“Can you lean forward for me, sweetheart, so I can listen to your breathing?” Dr. McCoy asked as he tried to warm up his stethoscope as much as possible before gently sliding it under her shirt, pressing it to her back. “Deep breath for me…Good girl.” He straightened up after a minute letting her lay back against the pillow.

About halfway through the exam, Elise started crying and Jim took her out of the car seat, looking around for the diaper bag, only realizing now he’d forgotten it.

“Diaper or hungry?” Dr. McCoy asked without missing a beat.

“Diaper. She just ate,” Jim answered trying desperately to calm her down and not hearing when the doctor walked away, or when he returned and set a few things down on the bed.

“You should be able to make do with that,” Dr. McCoy said.

Jim looked over, looking at the doctor properly for the first time, then down at the diaper, baby wipe, and what was more than likely in reality a pee pad.

“Bathroom’s just past the nurses’ station.”

Jim blinked a few times and cracked a tired smile, then looked at Izzy. “I’ll be right back. Be good for Dr. McCoy.” With that, he stood and walked toward the bathroom. When he returned, the doctor had his hand on her back, rubbing it softly as she coughed.

“Thatta girl,” Dr. McCoy wiped the bit of mucus off Izzy’s lip gently with a tissue.

“Not causing too much havoc, Iz?” Jim smiled.

“You’ve been a perfect angel, haven’t you?” the doctor smiled at her giving her a playful wink.

Izzy nodded tiredly.

Jim looked back at Dr. McCoy. “She’s fine, isn’t she? It really is just the stomach flu.”

“Yes. Plenty of fluids and rest, and Children’s Tylenol and she should be back to her old self in no time,” Dr. McCoy nodded. “Has their mom been sick too?”

Jim flinched at the mention of Ellie. “Uh, no,” he stammered a little, looking down at Elise as he put her back in her car seat.

“Daddy says Mommy’s in heaven now,” Izzy said.

“That she is,” Jim nodded, shooting her a slightly forced smile.

“How old is…” Dr. McCoy gestured toward the car seat.

“Elise. Four months.”

“And their mom?”

“Four months ago. And, how is this relevant?”

“You need to sleep.”

“Is Izzy ok?”

“Yes, you can sign the papers at the front desk.” Then Dr. McCoy walked away.

***

Three days later

“Pick which cereal you want, Izzy,” Jim said trying to push the shopping cart and hold the bottle to feed Elise and keep an eye on Izzy to make sure she didn’t run too far ahead of him. “Cocoa Puffs again?” He teased tiredly as she tried to pull the box off the shelf. “Izzy, don’t climb the shelves.”

“I got it, Daddy,” she insisted right before her foot slipped and she scraped her hand against the corner of one of the shelves.

By the time Jim got to her, she was sitting on the floor looking at the barely bleeding scrape on her palm crying. He pulled the bottle from Elise’s mouth, and prayed that she wouldn’t start wailing. He already had one crying child. He really didn’t need two. He kept one hand on the shopping cart as he knelt down to Izzy’s level. “Lemme see, sweetie,” he held out his free hand.

She didn’t hear him through her cries. He stood, moving the shopping cart out of the middle of the aisle and put Elise in the baby carrier so she was against his chest, before kneeling back down next to Izzy.

“Izzy, can I see your hand?”

She shook her head. He could see that the cut wasn’t that bad. It was mostly just reddened with a little bit of blood.

“What color band aid do you want?” It’s way too early for this. It’s three in the afternoon and it’s way too early. I should really look into a nanny. Or help. God, I need help.

“Purple,” she whimpered.

He got up and got the small first-aid kit out of the diaper bag. “I’m out of purple. Second choice.”

“I want purple.”

“Izzy, we’ve used up all the purple band-aids. We have pink and green and purple polka dotted ones. We don’t have any more solid purple.”

“I want purple.”

“Pink, green, or polka dots. Pick one or I’ll pick for you.”

She pouted and looked over at him, still crying. “Dots,” she mumbled.

“Good choice,” he smiled at her as he sat back down. Once her scrape was cleaned and bandaged, he stood, putting Elise back in the shopping cart.

Izzy held her arms up toward Jim wordlessly.

“Yes?” He grabbed a box of Cocoa Puffs off the shelf and put them in the cart.

“Pick me up?”

“What’s the word?”

“Please.”

He nodded bending down and picking her up. She put her arms around the back of his neck and her legs around his waist, clinging tightly. Pushing the shopping cart got more difficult trying to support Izzy’s weight in his arms and push the cart at the same time. After a few minutes, he was going to suggest Izzy try walking alongside the cart, or even just sit in the cart, but then he felt her eyelashes brushing against his neck as she blinked tiredly.

“We’re almost done,” he murmured as she squirmed, nestling her face in his neck.

He was trying to open one of the freezer doors but between Izzy and keeping a close eye on the shopping cart where Elise now lay asleep, he was struggling.

“Here,” a familiar voice said reaching past Jim and opening the door.

“Thank you,” he nodded holding the door open with one hip and getting the bags of frozen vegetables out of the freezer.

“You look like you could use a nap,” the other man said.

Jim grunted softly in return as he turned to face the man. The doctor from the other night.

“Well, I’ll just hope I get one when we get home.” Izzy was like a dead weight in his arms.

“If you get home,” the doctor answered as Jim began to walk away.

Jim froze and turned around, placing one hand on Elise and adjusting his hold on Izzy. “I get that you’re a doctor and you probably look at everyone and think they’re suffering or whatever, but I’m fine. Tired, but fine. I don’t need some childless doctor who criticized me bringing my child into the ER telling me how to live my life as a single dad. You don’t know the situation. You don’t know what it’s like. You know what was said and what was in Izzy’s chart.” He turned around and started walking away again as a dark haired seven-year-old ran past him.

“Daddy, can we get ice cream?” she asked.

“We have ice cream at home,” the doctor answered and Jim was almost frozen on the spot again.

But he walked away.

***

He kept running into the doctor at the grocery store, when Elise had a doctor’s appointment.

“Are you stalking me or something? Because I never saw you around here until after Izzy got sick,” Jim said after the tenth time he ran into Dr. McCoy at the grocery store.

“Probably because Jo and I are new to Riverside,” Dr. McCoy answered, “That was only my third shift at the hospital.”

“You seemed pretty well settled in.” Jim picked Elise up, trying to soothe her while keeping an eye on Izzy running around.

“Twelve hour shifts can help you do that.”

“Izzy, we have enough goldfish crackers at home,” Jim said suddenly as she pulled a bag of crackers off the shelf.

“But these ones are pink,” she whined.

“And they taste the same.”

“But I want pink.”

“No.”

“I want pink fishies, Daddy.”

“Izzy, we can get pink fishies next time. Until then, we have regular ones at home,” Jim said desperately trying to avoid a temper tantrum when he already had a wailing baby in his arms.

“I want pink fishies,” she protested stomping her foot.

Jim closed his eyes for a moment, just hoping that when he opened them this would all be a dream. It wasn’t. “Isabelle, do you need a time-out when we get home?”

The suggestion just made things worse and the waterworks started. Jim wanted to cry too as he stared at Izzy throwing a fit and stood frozen with Elise crying in his arms.

Then Dr. McCoy knelt down next to Izzy who had just about thrown herself onto the floor. He didn’t say a word. When she stopped for a moment to catch her breath, he spoke. “Hey, do you remember what you promised me in the hospital?” He asked her gently.

She didn’t answer for another few minutes, and when she did, she just shook her head and started crying again.

“That you would be good for your mama and daddy,” he said as she took a few gasping breaths.

“I want pink fishies,” she cried.

“But your daddy said no.”

“But I want pink fishies.”

He thought for a moment then asked, “Is throwing a fit being good for your daddy?”

She looked at Dr. McCoy and frowned, then shook her head.

“And you promised me that you would be good for him.”

“But pink fishies.”

“Did you hear when he said that you can get some when you when you finish the ones you have?”

“But I want them now.”

“We can’t always get what we want.”

She sniffled, still frowning.

“Can you promise me that you’ll be good for your daddy?”

She nodded.

“Good girl,” he smiled at her as he stood, holding a hand out for her to take and gently pulled her up onto her feet. “Can you say sorry to your daddy?” He asked as he dropped her hand.

Izzy walked over to Jim and looked up at him. “Sorry, Daddy.”

“Thank you, Izzy,” Jim smiled at her bouncing a now calm Elise in his arms. He looked over at the doctor. “And thank you, Dr. McCoy. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome. Jo had a lot of tantrums when she was little. Less now, thankfully.” The doctor paused then said, “And it’s Leonard. I’m not at work.”

“Jim.”

“Well, Jim, I suppose you need to finish your shopping. I’ll probably see you around. God knows I already do,” Leonard said before turning to his shopping cart, taking two steps, then stopping and turning back around. “And take care of yourself. Take some time for yourself. You clearly need it.”

“Would if I could.”

Leonard hesitated. “Give me a minute.” He hurried off, leaving his cart behind, then returned a few minutes later to a very confused Jim who had just settled Elise back in her car seat. “First number is the babysitter I use with Jo when I work. Her name’s Amelia. The second number’s mine…if you ever need anything.” He handed the paper to Jim then walked away without another word.

Jim stared at the two numbers for a minute before shoving the paper in his pocket, taking Izzy’s hand, and finishing his grocery shopping.

***

For the next four days, Jim would occasionally look at the paper, then shake his head. I can’t leave them with a babysitter. Even for a few hours. Then he found himself sitting on the couch with his head in his hands as Izzy threw a fit over god knows what–Jim couldn’t remember. I can’t do this.

So, he called Amelia, asking her to come over the next day so he could meet her.

“Sorry about the mess,” he said as he showed her to the kitchen table, occasionally stepping over a toy Izzy had left on the floor.

“I’ve seen worse,” Amelia assured him. “And Leonard mentioned that you’re a single dad, like him.”

“Yes, unfortunately.”

“I’m very sorry about your loss.”

“Thank you,” Jim answered before promptly changing the subject.

***

Having a babysitter was useful. Though, Jim did feel a little guilty he left Izzy with her. He could get some work done in his office without having to check on Elise or Izzy every few minutes. Grocery shopping was easier too, and he started going at different times. Times when Leonard wasn’t doing his own shopping. And Jim realized he missed the short conversations they would have.

One night he laid in bed staring at the ceiling as he toyed with the piece of paper in his hands after imputing the number in his phone. He’d called one of the numbers, but the second one–Leonard’s–he couldn’t bring himself to call. What was he supposed to say anyway? Leonard had told him to call if he needed anything. How was he supposed to say that he missed the grumpy southerner?

Then hell broke loose the next morning. Amelia was busy and couldn’t keep an eye on the girls that day. Elise was having her first experience with solid food, and as could be expected, was making a mess. Izzy was having a melt down because…well, Jim can’t remember. It started out as about cereal but now. Now, he’s not sure. And Jim. Jim wanted to cry. He wanted to go back to bed. But he was covered in some combination of pureed bananas, peaches, apples, plums while the six-month-old in front of him was even worse off and was going to need a bath after this and the three-year-old sitting on the bottom step was screaming and crying all while he tried to talk to his, thankfully understanding, boss on the phone.

I need help.

Once the call with his boss was over, he made another call.

“Dr. Leonard McCoy, how may I help you?” Leonard said automatically when he answered his phone. “Whoa, what’s going on there?”

“It’s Jim. Jim Kirk. You probably don’t remember me. You gave me a babysitter’s number, Amelia, and you gave me yours and said to call if I needed anything. I–I need help,” Jim rambled.

“I remember you. It’s not every day I give my number to some man in the middle of the grocery store. What do you need help with?” the doctor answered calmly.

“I, um, I don’t know.”

“Do you need to talk to someone? Or have someone come help watch your girls?”

Jim spooned some more puréed peaches into Elise’s mouth and received a smear of what he assumed was plum on his arm. “I’d say someone to help watch Izzy and Elise, but the house is a mess and no one should have to see that.”

“Do you want to meet up somewhere? The park?”

“I’m covered in baby food, and so is Elise, and you can hear Izzy screaming. We’re in no state to go anywhere.”

“Well, my other offer is I can come by, but I figured you might not want that.”

Jim hesitated, then answered, “There’s a park about a block from the grocery store. We can probably manage to meet you there at two. Assuming that works for you. It’s fine if…”

“It works. I’ll see you then. Anything else?”

“No, thank you by the way.”

“Not a problem.”

At two o’clock, Jim was watching as Izzy ran to the playground, also scanning the park hopeful to see the doctor. His shoulders slumped a little when he couldn’t find Leonard, pushing the stroller in which Elise was a sleep to a bench and sitting down. He went between glancing at Elise and watching Izzy.

“Sorry I’m late. Figured you could use some caffeine,” a familiar southern drawl came from behind him after about fifteen minutes as Leonard walked around the bench and sat down. “I needed some too, if we’re gonna be honest.”

Jim stared at the coffee Leonard was holding out to him.

“I brought cream and sugar if you want. And you don’t have to take the coffee if you don’t want. Strange man you barely know buying you coffee. I probably should’ve thought this through a little more beforehand.”

“No, thank you. I’m just surprised you showed up. And I’ll take whatever cream and sugar you have.” Jim took the coffee, pulling off the lid and stirring in the cream and sugar Leonard handed him.

“I said I was going out meet you here. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because I’m some run-down widower single father who you met when I was overreacting about a flu.”

“Hey, you didn’t see me three years ago. Jo was a little terror. Still is sometimes.”

“Divorce?” Jim asked staring straight ahead at the playground.

“More or less. She walked out. Decided that she didn’t want to be a wife and mom anymore, packed up her things, and left. I received signed divorce papers a few weeks later.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It was bound to happen. The divorce, that is. Guess she figured walking out was easier.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“Jim, if either one of us is going to be sorry, it should be me. I had my wife walk out and got left with a four-year-old and had family nearby. You lost your wife and were left with a newborn and three-year-old, and, presumably, no family nearby.”

“I have friends you know.”

Leonard laughed. “Yeah, I assumed you would.”

“They’re just all busy or not great with kids.”

“So you need a friend who’s not so busy or good with kids?”

“Pretty much,” Jim snorted.

“Well, if it’s not too forward of me, I’m occasionally not too busy and based on how my own child is thriving, am fairly good with kids.”

Jim laughed.

***

Nine months later

Leonard started hanging around a lot more. Sometimes he and Joanna would come for dinner, or Jim would take Izzy and Elise and they’d have dinner at Leonard’s house. Joanna started staying the night when Leonard was on call or was working the night shift. Leonard would take Izzy for the afternoon so Jim could get some work done with only one child to have to tend to, and once Elise was closer to a year old, she would go too. Jim picked Joanna up from school on a few occasions.

One Saturday night, Jim was getting some work done while Leonard kept the girls occupied. Well, he was trying. Every few minutes he would hear Izzy or Joanna shriek and laugh and then Leonard’s laugh, breaking any concentration he had going. Eventually, he gave up, and headed out to the living room where Leonard was playfully wrestling with Izzy and Joanna while Elise watched from her playpen clearly amused. Jim watched from the doorway, smiling.

“Daddy!” Izzy said when she noticed him.

“Izzy!” he answered playfully.

“Hey, that wasn’t fair,” Leonard teased as Joanna climbed on top of him “pinning” him down.

“You weren’t paying attention,” Joanna shrugged before squealing and squirming away when Leonard started tickling her.

“Can Jo-Jo stay over?” Izzy asked looking at Jim pleadingly.

“Ask her daddy. I’m fine with it,” Jim nodded.

“Uncle Len, can Jo-Jo stay over?” Izzy asked smiling sweetly at Leonard.

“I dunno, you want to, Jo?” Leonard asked poking one of Joanna’s sides playfully.

Joanna nodded.

“Do you still have a pair of pajamas here?” Jim asked as he picked up Elise who was reaching toward him saying “up.”

“Yes,” Joanna nodded.

“Then go get ready for bed, and then maybe we can watch a movie.”

They didn’t need to be told twice. Joanna and Izzy were running out of the room and up the stairs.

“Do you want to stay for the movie or do you have an early shift tomorrow?” Jim asked Leonard as the doctor sat up.

“I’m off for two days,” Leonard answered.

“So, you’re going to stay?” Jim settled Elise on his hip.

“Yeah, if you’re fine with it. Don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“I’d let you know if you were.”

An hour and a half later, Jim and Leonard were sitting on the couch, Jim with Elise mostly asleep in his arms, and Joanna and Izzy were sprawled on the floor watching the movie. During a quieter scene, Jim noticed the rain pounding on the roof.

When the movie ended twenty minutes later, Leonard stood. “I suppose I should head out now.”

“In this weather?” Jim said appalled by the suggestion.

“I’ll be fine.”

“No, you can sleep here.”

“You’re not going to let me leave, are you?”

“Nope.” Jim adjusted Elise in his arms before standing. “Bed,” he said to Joanna and Izzy, gesturing toward the stairs with his head. “Do you want to borrow a pair of sweatpants?” he asked Leonard.

“If you don’t mind.”

“Let me put Elise to bed then I’ll grab you a pair. I think you remember where the linen cabinet is. You can grab some blankets out of there. A bed pulls out of the couch.” Jim turned around and headed upstairs. He returned a few minutes later holding a pair of pajama pants, freezing suddenly when he saw Leonard bending over the sofa bed, straightening out the sheets. Shirtless. He stared for probably a few moments too long before clearing his throat. “These should fit,” he said holding the pants out to Leonard.

“Thank you,” Leonard smiled taking them, heading to the bathroom. When he walked out Jim was tidying up in the kitchen. “Goodnight.”

Jim looked up and instantly regretted it. “Goodnight,” he forced a smile.

Half an hour later, as Jim laid wide awake in bed, his mind kept drifting back to Leonard. Lean muscle. No. Tanned skin. No. Chest hair. No. Pajama pants. My pajama pants. God, my pajama pants low on his hips. No, no, no. You can’t screw this up. He has an ex-wife. He’s probably straight. He’s commented on guys before. Maybe not completely straight. But not me. He doesn’t like me. He likes me as a friend. Nothing more.

Jim groaned as he realized he had unconsciously slipped his hand into his boxers. Just this once. Just to get rid of it. He pushed his underwear down and wrapped his hand around his dick, closing his eyes as he stroked himself. I wonder what his hand would feel like. And that freckle on his collarbone. I want to kiss it. I wonder if his skin is salty. Lips probably taste like bourbon or that spearmint gum he seems to perpetually be chewing. Either way, he would taste good. And that stubble…

Jim bit down on his free hand to keep from making too much noise as he came. He stared up at the ceiling, removing his teeth from his hand and his hand from his pants, panting. I am so screwed.

***

When he woke up the next morning he heard giggling coming from the kitchen. He dragged himself out of bed, fearing the disaster he was going to find. He pulled on a pair of pants and a t-shirt and grabbed the baby monitor before heading down to the kitchen. He stopped short when he reached the doorway. Elise was holding herself up on her feet by Leonard’s pant leg. Joanna was showing Izzy how to stir the pancake batter without over mixing it while Leonard stood at the stove cooking bacon. Fortunately for Jim’s own sanity, and Leonard’s safety, the doctor had put his t-shirt back on.

“Look who’s risen from the dead,” Leonard smiled at Jim.

“Good morning. You didn’t have to cook,” Jim answered.

“The girls were hungry and you were still asleep,” Leonard shrugged as he took the strips of bacon out of the pan and Joanna carried the bowl of pancake batter over to him.

“There’s cereal in the cabinet.”

“You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to.”

“No, I appreciate it. I’m just surprised.” Jim picked up Elise when she plopped down and reached up toward him.

“You let me stay the night. Figured I should repay the favor.”

“Daddy’s good at making pancakes,” Joanna said.

“Oh, is he?” Jim asked, “I’m pretty good at it too.”

“Daddy’s better,” she answered plainly.

Jim bit back a laugh as he walked over to the kitchen table where Izzy sat. “Did you sleep last night?” he asked her.

Izzy nodded. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

“Do you need any help?” he asked Leonard right before feeling a sticky and slobbery hand on his cheek.

“No, I’ve got it. And the best assistant in the world,” Leonard answered giving Joanna a playful wink. “Besides, I think someone is upset with the lack of attention.”

Elise had moved her hand from Jim’s cheek to right over his mouth.

“Hello to you too,” Jim laughed pulling her hand from his mouth, giving it a small kiss before setting it on his shirt and kissing her cheek.

***

Ok, maybe Leonard’s pancakes were better than Jim’s, not that Jim would ever admit it. Just like how he wouldn’t admit how he had started noticing little things about Leonard. Like the way his eyes lit up when Joanna laughed and how he was picky about his bourbon and how precise his movements were when he cooked. Most of all, Jim began to notice just how much Leonard would touch him. Hands lingering for a few unnecessary seconds when he would hand Jim something or when they passed Elise between them. Hand brushing against Jim’s when they both reached for something.

And Leonard started staying over more. Sleepovers that were once just Joanna staying the night turned into Joanna and Leonard staying the night. Jim began to look forward to Izzy asking if Joanna could sleep over because half the time it meant he could ask if Leonard wanted to stay as well.

The night before Elise’s second birthday, Jim had friends and family over to celebrate.

“Jim, you didn’t tell me your boyfriend’s a surgeon,” Jim’s cousin whispered to him as he put the finishing touches on Elise’s birthday cake.

“What?” He looked over at her like she’d lost her mind.

“Your boyfriend. That fine piece of southern ass. That man sitting on the floor with your two-year-old. Has fantastic hands…”

“I know who you’re referring to. I just don’t know where you got the idea that he’s my boyfriend.”

“Do you mean to tell me that you look at him with all that love and adoration but you’re not dating him?”

“We’re friends.” Jim stuck the 2 candle in the cake before picking it up and taking it to the table.

“Do you need help cleaning up?” Leonard asked Jim after the last person, besides him and Joanna, left.

“No, I can deal with it in the morning.”

Leonard gave him a disbelieving look.

“It’s fine. It’ll get dealt with.”

“Two years tomorrow.”

Jim turned his back and started packaging up the leftover cake. “Do you want to take some home?” He gestured toward the cake.

“Jim, I can stay and help clean up. You’re not going to want to in the morning.”

“Can you take the girls tomorrow?” Jim asked staring blankly at the cake.

“Yeah, whatever you need.”

“If you want to help clean, go ahead.”

Jim could feel the way Leonard stared at him before walking off.

***

“Be good for Uncle Len,” Jim said as he knelt down in front of Elise and Izzy, forcing a smile before kissing each of their cheeks and standing up.

“Call if you need anything,” Leonard said before he walked out the front door with the two girls, and Joanna.

~~~

Jim spent the first half of the day trying to be productive, eventually resigning himself to not being able to think of anything but Ellie. Why did you have to go? Why did you decide you should be the one to die? He visited her grave that afternoon, bringing fresh flowers.

That evening he found himself getting progressively drunker and called Leonard.

“Hey,” Leonard said into the phone, sounding like he was playfully wrangling one of the girls in the background.

“Can you keep Elise and Izzy at your place for the night? I don’t think they should see me like this,” Jim answered softly, staring down at his third–no, fourth–glass of whiskey.

Leonard leaned away from the receiver and said, “Can you ladies give me a moment? Be good. Don’t break anything.” He walked to the other room, out of earshot of the girls but with them still in his view. “What’re you drinking?”

“Hm?”

“Beer, tequila, whiskey, vodka, some combination.”

“Whiskey.”

“How much have you had?”

“I think this is the fourth.”

“And how long have you been drinking?”

“Since five, maybe six.”

Leonard went silent.

“You’re judging me. I’m casting my kids off on you for the night so I can get drunk,” Jim muttered.

“If I can promise that they won’t see you, can I bring Izzy and Elise home?”

“And leave them with their drunk dad?”

“No. Let them sleep in their own beds and make sure their dad doesn’t drink too much.”

“Why?” Jim blurted out the question before he could think.

“No one should drink alone, and you shouldn’t be alone anyway right now.”

Jim thought for a moment, then asked, “And you promise they won’t see me?”

“I promise. And stop drinking until I get there. Have a glass of water.”

Jim nodded, then mumbled, “Ok.”

“And if you’re not already, wait in your room with the door closed. I’ll make sure they get to bed.”

“Ok.”

“We’ll be over in about half an hour. Do you need anything else?”

“No. Thank you.”

Leonard hesitated for a minute, then hung up. Forty-five minutes later, he was carrying an already half-asleep Elise into the house with Joanna and Izzy following. “Get ready for bed. I’ll come tuck you in soon.”

The two girls nodded, thankfully not putting up a fight. He put Elise to bed, then poked his head into Jim’s bedroom. “We’re here. I’m just going to make sure Jo and Izzy are settled in bed.”

Jim gave a grunt as a response and Leonard closed the door. It took almost twenty minutes before the doctor returned with a few water bottles, the bottle of whiskey, and two glasses.

“I hope you don’t mind sharing your booze,” Leonard smiled as he walked in, walking over to where Jim sat with his back against the bed looking out the window. He sat next to the blonde, who didn’t so much as twitch in acknowledgment. “Have you had some water?”

Jim nodded. Leonard poured him another drink and held it out to him. The blonde blinked a few times down at it, but took it without a word.

“You’re not gonna try and make me talk, right?” Jim asked after a few minutes.

“No. Unless it’s to check your level of drunkenness by if you’re slurring your words. Talk if you want to, or don’t talk at all. I’m just here to make sure you don’t do too much damage to your liver.” Leonard took a sip of his drink.

Jim snorted.

Jim’s sixth drink loosened his tongue. “She was perfect. Smart, funny, beautiful. Then something happened when she was in labor with Elise. We had to pick between her life or Elise’s. Ellie was insistent on Elise’s life.” Jim paused, looking down at the water bottle Leonard was having him drink and furrowing his eyebrows. “Does it make me a bad father to say I’d almost rather Ellie was alive instead?”

“I don’t think so. You don’t love Elise any less. You just lost your wife when you gained a daughter,” Leonard answered.

“We agreed to not find out the sex until the baby was born. Ellie was hoping for a boy. One of each, she said. We planned on having four kids so I kept telling her that if this one’s a girl we still have two more chances.” Jim blinked a few times, wiping his hand over his cheeks realizing he was crying. “Fuck, sorry,” he sniffled.

“I’m not judging.” Leonard put a hand on Jim’s back and the blonde almost instinctively leaned into the touch.

As the alcohol settled in, Jim stopped paying as much attention to the words coming out. He was leaning against Leonard with the brunette’s arm around his shoulders. “I like you,” Jim said suddenly.

“I know,” Leonard nodded.

“No, like, I like you.”

“I know,” Leonard repeated, clearly a little amused.

Jim looked Leonard in the eye, blinking tiredly, and drunkenly. “I like you. Like, ‘I want to kiss you’ kind of I like you.”

“I know, Jim.” Leonard was trying not to laugh. He felt a little sorry for the blonde. But at the same time, Jim trying to explain his feelings while drunk was a bit entertaining.

Jim cocked his head. “But…You’re here. And touching me. And I just told you I want to kiss you.”

Leonard let out a short laugh. “You’re not the only one looking at the person they’d like to kiss.”

Jim stared at Leonard in shock. “You…You want…to…to kiss…to kiss me?” he stammered.

“Have for a while.”

“I…”

“You don’t have to kiss me.”

Jim reached up slowly and traced a finger along Leonard’s jaw. “I, uh, I haven’t kissed someone since Ellie.” His gaze flickered between Leonard’s eyes and his lips.

“I haven’t kissed someone since Jocelyn. You have more recent experience than I do.” Leonard rested his free hand on Jim’s forearm. “And you don’t have to kiss me.”

“I want to. I just…I don’t know.”

“Do you want me to kiss you? I might be a little rusty on the initiation methods, but I can give it a shot.”

Jim hesitated, then nodded. Leonard moved his hand from Jim’s arm to the back of his neck before slowly leaning in, freezing a few inches away. Jim shut his eyes and closed the gap between their lips.

Spearmint and bourbon.

Jim pulled away after a few moments and dropped his head to rest his forehead on Leonard’s shoulder, trying to hold back the tears stinging his eyes.

“You alright?” Leonard asked softly.

“Yeah. I think so,” Jim nodded.

“I’m not offended if you cry.”

“What makes you think I might cry?”

“You’re taking a lot of deep breaths. Not like you’re trying to catch your breath. Like you’re trying to keep yourself from crying.”

“I’m not going to ruin a first kiss by crying,” Jim mumbled.

“First kiss implies there may be more. What number of kiss is acceptable to ruin by crying?”

Jim lifted his head. “Well, no number.”

Leonard leaned in and pressed his lips briefly to Jim’s. “Ruin the second,” he whispered as he pulled back.

Jim shook his head and ended up with Leonard’s lips on his again.

“Third.”

“I’m not going to ruin a kiss by being pathetic and crying.”

Leonard pulled back and looked at Jim thoughtfully, then pulled the blonde tighter against him. He slowly carded his fingers through Jim’s hair, smiling to himself when the younger man let out an involuntary shiver. “Good or bad?”

“Good,” Jim whispered, starting to sniffle.

“You’ll feel better if you cry.”

Jim snorted.

“No, real science. You’ll feel better.”

Jim reached up and wiped the tear that escaped. He hesitated, then let out a long sigh and relaxed, letting the tears fall.

Leonard didn’t say a word for the next fifteen minutes. Or maybe he did and Jim couldn’t hear him. He just ran his fingers through Jim’s hair and rubbed his back encouragingly. “Feel better?” he asked.

“Feel tired,” Jim muttered.

“Finish the water, then you can go to bed.”

Jim nodded, pulling away and chugging the rest of the water bottle. Leonard helped him up and into the bed.

“I’ll be downstairs on the couch if you need anything,” Leonard said as he went to walk away, stopped by a hand on his arm.

“On that god awful mattress?” Jim asked, tired and amused.

“Well, I wasn’t planning on just sleeping on the couch. Gets a little cramped. Sofa bed’s a little better.”

“Or you could sleep here.”

Leonard sighed taking Jim’s hand off his arm and placing it on the bed. “Jim, we have three girls who are going to wonder why we’re sharing a bed if I sleep here.”

“So?”

“You’re drunk and we just went over the whole liking each other thing. I want to avoid any potential disasters like you realizing you don’t feel that way after Jo or Izzy finds us asleep in the same bed.”

Jim frowned, and reached over, grabbing one of the extra pillows and holding it out to Leonard. “At least have a proper pillow for once.”

“Thank you.” Leonard gave Jim’s hand a small squeeze as he took the pillow before leaving.

***

For about a week and a half, two of them managed to keep the fact they had started dating. Could they even use that word? They hadn’t exactly on a date. Unless you count coffee while watching their kids in the park a date.

Jo was the first to notice, or at least was the first to say something. Jim had picked her up from school because Leonard was in surgery.

They had just come to a stop light when she asked, “Are you and my dad dating?”

Jim choked on the water he had just taken a drink of. “What?”

“Are you my dad’s boyfriend?”

“Um…”

“I think you should be.”

Jim was grateful when the light changed and he could, hopefully, play his silence off as being focused on driving.

“Do you like him?”

“Yes.”

“Like, do you like-like him?”

“Yes.”

“He likes you.”

“I know.”

“So, are you dating my dad?”

Jim let out a small sigh. “Yes.”

The squeal that Izzy let out in excitement made Jim wince.

“Izzy, remember how we talked about not making loud noises in small spaces? Cars are small spaces,” he said.

“Sorry, Daddy,” Izzy answered.

“Thank you, Izzy.”

As had become the norm over the past few months, Leonard and Joanna stayed for dinner.

“Daddy, Uncle Jim says he’s your boyfriend,” Joanna said with salad still in her mouth.

“Finish chewing. I can’t understand you with food in your mouth,” Leonard answered.

“Uncle Jim says he’s your boyfriend,” she repeated after swallowing.

Leonard looked at Jim who was cutting up Elise’s chicken into bitesize pieces. “Did he now?” Leonard said raising an eyebrow.

Jim froze for a moment, then continued.

“Yeah. I asked him and he said yes.” She stopped then looked at Leonard. “Did uncle Jim lie?”

“I’m not sure. I’ll have to talk to him about it. How was your day at school?” Leonard said, catching Jim’s gaze for a moment before the blonde looked away again.

Joanna launched into an animated retelling about something someone had said on the playground, before Izzy got her turn to talk about what happened at preschool that day.

Jim avoided situations where Leonard might be able to corner him and tell him that he shouldn’t have told Joanna that he was dating her dad. After putting Elise to bed, Leonard did just that. Almost. Jim was finishing cleaning up from dinner while Joanna and Izzy watched a movie when Leonard walked into the kitchen.

“So, boyfriend, huh?” Leonard said casually as he leaned against the counter.

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to tell her. She was asking if I liked you and if you liked me and I was trying to drive and…” Jim said.

“You’re rambling.”

“I noticed. And, I’m serious. It was just me trying to get her to stop asking.”

“So you don’t want to be my boyfriend?”

“What?” Jim spun around to face Leonard.

“I said, so, you don’t want to be my boyfriend?”

“No, no, no, of course I do, I just…”

“You told her the truth then.” Leonard shrugged before opening up the pantry and looking for a snack.

“Wait, just like that?”

Leonard turned around holding a bag of goldfish crackers. “Just like what?”

“We’re calling each other ‘boyfriend’.”

“Did you expect something more romantic? Ask you if you wanted to go steady? If we were official? If we’re exclusive? I can put it on Facebook. I’m sure my great aunt will love seeing I have a boyfriend.”

Jim stared at him with an expression somewhere between appalled and offended. Leonard set the bag of goldfish down and stepped closer to Jim.

“Jim, I kind of started assuming you were my boyfriend, oh, a little over a week ago. It may have been a bit presumptive, but clearly, I wasn’t wrong. You’re my boyfriend. Plain and simple. I also assumed that you didn’t want to make a fuss over it. I can make a fuss over it if you’d like.”

“No, I was just surprised. I thought you were going to be upset I told her that.”

“I can act upset if you’d like, but I’d be lying and that sets a poor example for the smaller humans.”

Jim looked down and dried his hands before moving to stand toe to toe with Leonard. “It’s Friday, you know.”

“Yes.”

“And you worked last weekend.”

“That I did.”

“So, you’re not working this weekend.”

“Jim, get to the point.”

“I was thinking that since Jo typically sleeps over on Friday that this Friday her daddy could too.”

“I have slept here on multiple occasions.”

“I meant in my bed, not on the couch.”

“You sure you’re ok with it? Last time you offered you were drunk.”

“And I’m sober this time and still offering. You don’t have to.”

“I’ll need to borrow clothes.”

“Have I ever complained about that before?”

“No, was just warning you.” Leonard kissed Jim’s cheek before grabbing the bag of goldfish and heading back to the other room.

After all the girls were in bed, Jim laid on the couch with his head on Leonard’s lap as the doctor flipped through Netflix.

“Friends is always a good default,” Jim yawned.

Leonard queued up an episode before grabbing the bag of goldfish crackers off the side table next to him. “Fish?” he asked holding the bag within Jim’s line of sight.

“No thanks. I had fruit snacks earlier,” Jim answered offhandedly.

Leonard snorted as he shoved a few crackers in his mouth.

“Do you ever think about how domestic we already are?” Jim asked after a few minutes.

“We both have kids. We were already pretty damn domestic on our own.”

“I mean like together. Watching tv together and talking about goldfish crackers and fruit snacks.”

“Well, we’ve also been friends for a little over a year. We kind of got past some of the early get to know each other part of dating.” Leonard dusted the crumbs off his fingers and set the bag of crackers aside again.

“Doesn’t make it any less funny how domestic we’ve become so fast.” Jim settled his head more comfortably on Leonard’s lap and yawned again.

“Not gonna fall asleep on me, are you?”

“I’ll try not to.”

Jim did and was woken up two hours later by Leonard shaking him gently.

“Wake up. I’m not carrying you to your bed,” Leonard said.

“You’re no fun,” Jim mumbled as he got up, a little unsteady on his feet and losing his balance, falling onto Leonard’s lap.

“Up,” Leonard said shoving Jim back up on his feet.

Jim grumbled getting back to his feet and leading the way to the bedroom. He wordlessly tossed Leonard a pair of pajama pants before stripping down to his boxers.

“Which side of the bed is yours?” Leonard asked.

“Technically, the middle, but I gravitate more towards the side closest to the door.”

Once they were both settled in bed and Jim started dozing off, Leonard realized the blonde didn’t really gravitate toward one side of the bed as much as he gravitated toward the nearest warm body, which he just happened to be. As a result, Leonard ended up with Jim curled up against him, seemingly trying to press every inch of his body against the brunette’s. He opened his mouth to tell Jim to move off him, but then the younger man let out a small sigh of contentment and pressed his face between Leonard’s shoulder blades, and Leonard just couldn’t bring himself to push him away. So, he shifted around a little to get comfortable and settled into Jim’s tight hold on him.

***

Four years later

Jim was pacing the length of the waiting room impatient and nervous.

“Sit down. You’re making me anxious,” Leonard said when Jim was close to him again.

“What if…” Jim began biting his bottom lip as he looked at his husband of two years.

Leonard sighed, getting up and moving to stand in front of Jim. “They’re fine.” It was probably the hundredth time the sentiment had passed his lips in the past four hours.

“But…”

“Jim, Dr. White came in forty-five minutes ago and said everything’s going just as planned.”

“What about afterwards?”

Leonard wrapped his arms around the blonde and held him tight, pressing his lips to the side of Jim’s head. “Afterwards, we hope for the best,” he murmured.

“I don’t think I can do this again if this doesn’t work out, Bones,” Jim whispered, putting his arms around Leonard in return and leaning his head on the brunette’s shoulder.

“I know.” He rubbed Jim’s back.

Jim pulled back and looked at Leonard. “I’m serious this time. This is, what, the fourth time? And every time we got so close and then…”

“Jim, I know. I know you’re serious. And I’m pretty damn inclined to agree with you. I don’t know how much more of it I can take.”

Jim moved closer again and held onto Leonard as tightly as he dared. “You don’t work tomorrow, right?”

“No, I might be on call the day after. Depends on…” Leonard didn’t need to say the rest.

Jim nodded resting his chin on Leonard shoulder.

“Sit down with me,” Leonard said softly after a minute, pulling away from Jim and leading the blonde over to the empty chairs.

Jim leaned against Leonard, ignoring the way the arm rest dug into his side. He reached over and took Leonard’s left hand, looking over it. When Dr. White walked into the waiting room and over to the two of them, she didn’t even get the chance to greet them before Jim spoke.

“How are they?” Jim asked frantically.

“They’re both in perfect health,” she smiled.

“Can we see…” Leonard asked.

“He’s in a separate room.”

“She didn’t want to have him with her?” Jim asked trying to hide the spark of hope in his voice.

“She had a few minutes with him. Would you like see him?”

Leonard was on his feet and pulling Jim up, nodding. As they followed her down the hall, Jim slipped his fingers between Leonard’s, earning a small squeeze and smile. When the walked into the room where a nurse was fussing over a baby warmer, Jim swallowed the lump forming in his throat along with any hope he could feel forming. He refused to get his hopes up again.

“Who wants to hold him first?” the nurse asked.

“You,” Jim said looking at Leonard, letting go of his hand and moving aside so the nurse could place the tiny baby in the brunette’s arms.

The nurse moved to stand out of their way and Jim stood close enough to Leonard so he could look over his shoulder.

“Elliot?” Jim asked softly.

“Yeah, we’re sticking with Elliot,” Leonard nodded.

“You wanna come home with us, Elliot?”

The infant yawned and squirmed.

***

One morning a week later, Jim woke up around six-thirty to find Leonard’s side of the bed empty. And the crib in the corner. He dragged himself out of bed, stretching before heading downstairs. He expected to find Leonard in the kitchen starting breakfast.

“Bones, it’s Saturday and not even…” Jim trailed off when he saw Leonard sprawled on the couch snoring softly with Elliot asleep on his chest.

Leonard had both hands protectively over Elliot, a half-finished bottle of formula laid on the floor next to them. Jim couldn’t decide whether he wanted to risk waking Leonard up and take Elliot back up to his crib or just let the two of them sleep. Elliot squirmed and Leonard instinctively adjusted his hold. Jim sat on one of the steps and leaned against the banister watching the two of them, smiling.

Sequel: Growing Up

#mckirk #kirk x mccoy #mccoy x kirk #leonard mccoy x jim kirk #jim kirk x leonard mccoy #Leonard McCoy #Jim Kirk #James T. Kirk #star trek #star trek fanfiction #amanda writes #fic #mckirk fic #repost

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