#that's not to say that we don't have fulfilling lives or anything

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

In honor of @littlepaws9's birthday, we will pretend the break-up never happened... this is very short and hopefully as fluffy as you like your BuckTommy ;)

............................................................................................................................

"I wanna take you out tomorrow," Buck breathes into Tommy's ear, half-hidden from the bedsheet. 

The answer is a mere grunt, he takes it as approval.

"It's a nice restaurant," he continues to chatter, "a bit outside of town, not so fancy, pretty cozy, I think you'll like it."

Squinting, Tommy questions his pillow with a muffled, "Tomorrow’s New Year’s?"

"I've made the reservation a couple of months ago."

This confession seems to crack Tommy’s eyes finally open. He’s still wearing this adorable scrunched-up sleeping face, but Buck can tell something is working behind his brow. A couple of months ago, they almost broke up over a stupid argument, preceded by an evening at Miceli's. It was easy to guess that Buck – after their very hot reconciliation – had made a kind of vow for the future: never to go to that restaurant again, and to never leave anything to chance. 

"Fine, but why are you telling me this at..." Tommy lifts his head briefly to look at the alarm clock on his nightstand, "six in the morning?"

"I've got a shift. And you live closer to Harbor than to the 118."

"Huh?"

"One of us has to get up early, sleepyhead," Buck says with a laugh, pressing a kiss on the fuzzy head sticking out of the sheets.

The restaurant really proved to be beautiful, far from all the chrome and glass that modern places in L.A. considered aesthetically pleasing. This special day seems to call for wine, so they settle for red. At the tables around them, only couples are to be seen. Buck finds Tommy to be unusually taciturn, and he starts to wonder why. 

"You tired?" he asks, causing Tommy to look up in surprise from the salad he’s been pushing back and forth with his fork. "We can always have dessert at home, if you want."

He winks, and Tommy scrunches his face in his pretty little smile.

"I'd like that," he returns. "But that's not it."

Putting a hand on Buck’s, he softly explains, "New Year’s Eve is always so… charged. Everybody’s making vows and resolutions, and it’s become some kind of couple event, almost worse than Valentine’s." With a nod, he gestures to the guests around them.

"Too corny?" Buck offers. 

"Hm, too many expectations," Tommy cautiously replies. "And... Sometimes you don't know how to fulfill them."

"Expectations," Buck echoes, pondering whatever this might mean. "Look, all I'm expecting is for you to sit there, enjoy your free meal and look at your handsome boyfriend."

"Oh, I can do that," Tommy says with a smirk, raising his glass. 

"Totally cool if this isn't your holiday," Buck continues, a little more serious now. "Just wanna be with you, like... every day, you know?"

Tommy tilts his head and seems about to reply, but Buck quickly interrupts him.

"Don't freak out, because yeah, I do admit I'm a fan of holidays, any kind of them. And I… I brought you something. You can find that kitschy, be my guest to hide under the table, and I expect nothing in return, but…"

Suddenly, there’s a small box in his hand, and Tommy’s features slip.

"Evan," he breathes, a trail of disbelief in his voice. "We agreed on no presents."

"I said don't freak out! That was Christmas, by the way. And it’s not what it looks like." 

With a sheepish smile, he opens the box. Inside lie two very discreet, very pretty silver ear studs in the shape of the letter E. 

"Remember when I once asked you about your pierced ears? You said you got them in your youth but didn’t dare wearing any earrings because of your career choices. And, w…well. You're no longer in the closet. And I know that I'm not the reason for it, but... I'm the reason you admitted it to some of your old friends, and those are my friends too, and that's kind of a big deal somehow. I’m sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

"It's embarrassing, especially after you’ve made it clear Christmas and New Year’s aren’t your … favorites."

"Well," Tommy stretches, reaching for one of his pockets, pulling out quite a similar little box. 

"They’re not," he admits. "There’s a reason I like to volunteer for shifts on those days. Until… well, until you, Evan. I know I kinda chickened out of Christmas, just didn’t feel right to be with your family. You were so understanding, I felt bad. And it was obvious you had something planned for today. It’s adorable when you try to keep a secret. This wasn't exactly what I was expecting... well, that's a conversation for another day. And even if I don't particularly like the day, that doesn't change my affection for you, Evan. I've spent the last few days thinking about how I could show it to you. Pondering what you would like. And, uh... great minds think alike, I guess?"

He flicks open the box to reveal a set of small, silver ear studs. They look like tiny T’s. 

"Cheesy, isn't it?" he says with a broad grin that can hardly hide the fact he’s about to burst out laughing.

"Pretty much," Evan laughs before blurting out, "I don't even have pierced ears, babe."

"I know a good tattoo artist."

"Oh, me too. You know what? We'll go there together. Ear piercings for me and a new tattoo for both of us."

"Bold, Evan. You better not get my name engraved, who knows if you’ll still want me next year?"

"Don't worry," Buck replies with a smile. "You're a keep, no doubt about that."

[luvinqstvrnz]

A/N: I've read a lot of other fics, but I wanted to write my own; Keep in mind this is my first time posting/writing a fic to be posted publicly (lmk if there's anything I can do to improve)

Summary:

You've been with Chris for a year or two now, but you never knew exactly what he did and how he made his money, curious you decide to follow him after he leaves your apartment...

Content warnings (MDNI): Fluff, use of pet names, use of y/n, drugs, etc.

dealer!Chris x f!Reader

You and Chris have been together for about a year and a half, he's always been so secretive about what he does when he leaves after you guys have been together for a few hours (or days), you knew he had 2 triplet brother's that he lived with and everything they did on the regular.

Chris never told anyone publicly about your relationship afraid of how the internet and how they would react, he didn't want you getting death threats or anything crazy so you both mutually decided not to be public about your relationship on the internet.

You knew about Chris's job as a YouTuber but what could he possibly be doing at 12am for hours before he talks to you again? One night you decide to follow him when he leaves your apartment, trying to be very sneaky about your every move. Eventually all of his driving around lead you to a warehouse. You knew about the warehouse him and his brother's had but this was not it. You carefully stepped out of your car making sure you didn't alert anyone in the area around you. You watched quietly as Chris walked up into the warehouse and quickly followed behind him, making sure no one saw you.

As you tip toed past the other people in the warehouse the overpowering stench of weed hit your nostrils.

“Jesus Christ...”

You say softly under your breath; You've never been around this much in your life, what in the world was this place? Suddenly you see Chris emerge from behind some door.

“What the fuck do you mean we don't have enough to fulfill this order? I specifically told you-”

You hear him raising his voice to another guy in the warehouse, you've never seen Chris yell at anyone besides his brother's. You felt a bit turned on by him, the way he put other people in there place. You've never seen this side of Chris before...

Suddenly a hand reaches from behind you and grabs your shoulder, making it so you can't move.

“Yo Chris! Who's this chick? Do you know her?”

You've never heard this voice before, you had no idea who this was. Chris immediately looks over and sees you standing there, all you can do is stare at him. You're frozen, it's like someone paused you, you had no idea what to do.

“Y/n? What the- How the fuck... How did you get here?”

Chris says to you in a calm but stern voice, nobody knew of this place but him and the people who worked for him.

“I-I.. I-”

Your words were frozen, you couldn't mutter a word.

“Let her go. I'll take it from here...”

You hear him command the man behind you and he grabs your hand and leads you out of the warehouse.

“How did you get here? Are you hurt?”

He asks you lovingly. You just shake your head, you've never seen this side of Chris. Where did all of this come from? How did he keep this a secret from everyone for so long?

“You could've gotten seriously hurt... Why the fuck did you even think to follow me?”

He sounded stern and aggravated, he still sounded caring though, it was like he was mad but relieved you were okay.

“I-.. I really just wanted to know where you keep going when we part... I didn't ever think it would be... This?!”

You tried your best to keep your composure, you didn't want Chris getting upset at you, or anyone for that matter.

“Look, I'm sorry I never told you ma... It's just no one could or can ever know about this, not even Nick or Matt know.”

He paused and looked at you, trying to find understanding in your eyes.

“I can see why you don't want anyone to know... I'm sorry...”

He looked at you softly and leaned in to kiss you. He kissed you softly and bit your lip lightly as he pulled away.

“Do you want a ride home ma?”

You thought about it for a while and finally accepted, you didn't know what would happen if you went home with him right now but you knew he wouldn't do anything you wouldn't want him to.

He drives you to your appartment and let's you out of the car. He walks you up to your door and stops you before you go inside.

“I didn't know if you'd exactly want me to come in with you but uh... If it's okay with you... I'd like to.”

Chris doesn't normally ask to stay, he usually just stays without question. This worried you a bit.

“Of course you can stay... Why wouldn't you be able to?”

A wave of relief washes over him as he steps inside right after you, he leisurely walks over to your couch and crashes down on it, causing it to bounce with him.

“I'll be over there in a second, let me change real quick my clothes reek...”

You finished changing and walked into your living room, Chris was spread out on your couch watching his phone. You walked over and sat next to him, he placed one of his arms around you and pulled you close to him.

“So...”

He said slowly, trying to start conversation, you could tell he was a bit nervous considering everything you've seen tonight.

“So?”

He looked at you, his eyebrows were a bit furrowed and his eyes were wide.

“You're not... Mad?”

You just stopped and looked at him lovingly. You pressed a soft kiss to his lips and played with his hair.

“No, Chris. I'm not mad.”

He looked at you relieved and kissed you softly. You kissed him back, you started thinking of earlier when he told off one of the other people at the warehouse and your thighs lightly squeezed together. You pressed your lips onto his more passionately and cradled his face in your left hand.

“Y/n?”

He broke the kiss and looked at you but you ignored it and kept kissing him. After a few minutes of making out with him, you guided him to your breast's, your nipples were already hard from thinking about that time in the warehouse and kissing him. You felt him squeeze your breast's and pinch your nipples from above your tank top. Eventually you get on top of him and straddle his lap, slowly rubbing yourself against his length, it didn't take long for him to get hard. You kissed him and dry humped him for a few minutes until you heard his phone ring.

“Fuck!”

He whispered, he looked at you to make sure it was okay if he answered it, you nodded, he composed himself and answered his phone.

“Yeah, I'll be back in a minute.”

He said to someone over the phone and hung up.

“I'm so sorry baby but I have to get back to the warehouse.”

“It's okay Chris, don't worry about it.”

You watched him leave, knowing it wouldn't be the end of this interaction...

[camellia-thea]

i know we talk a lot about the isolation of chronic illness and disability, but i really don't think ablebodied folk get it.

i have made one new friend in person since graduating highschool in 2020. she is my housemate's girlfriend. she stays over frequently, and the only reason we are friends is because she stays over and we have shared university papers. i would not have had the opportunity to befriend her otherwise. that is in the space of three years.

i don't go out much. i cannot guarantee that i will leave my house within any given week. technically i have class i need to go to twice a week for an hour, but those moments aren't time for friends, they're time for classwork and i don't interact with people in a social capacity there.

i simply do not get the opportunity to meet people.

i cannot go out with friends and meet new people that way, because my social circle is already so small, and i don't have the energy to go out half the time anyway. when i do, i suffer for it later.

i don't meet people on campus because i'm immuno-compromised, and ableds seem to have forgotten that we are still in a pandemic.

i don't go to clubs or go out for the sake of going out because i can't. i've grown agoraphobic, because i am so worried that something health related will happen and i'll get stuck somewhere alone. i hate leaving the house because of the guarantee of an anxiety attack which leaves my body more likely to flare. it's a vicious cycle of isolation.

i am not the only one who has experienced this -- i can still leave the house, i can still go and visit friends with assistance. i struggle, but at the end of the day, it's still an option. there are others who are completely isolated.

the worst of it is that people leave. people get tired of the 'i can't come, i'm sorry', of the 'hey, i'm sick, can we postpone?'. even people who you love and hold dearly will stop trying. and it's awful. you have to sit and watch these people who you love walk away because they can't deal with your disability. i don't have words to describe how much that hurts.

it really is impossible for ablebodied people to understand, because for the majority of us, this isn't temporary. this is just how we have to live. and your social circle can only really get smaller.

[ianwaite]

How sweet, yes I indirectly do, so what? IF your best was ever a Snafender and became after reading the original hp books properly a Snater, then your best friend shall prove it. Otherwise I don't believe your friend.

Cause both blocked me now:

Your answer (the indented text) has shown me that you have never dealt intensively with "snafending", if at all.

Yknow-you can hate someone and still find them interesting at the same time

I do not hate. Hate is very strong, childish emotion. I dislike, f.e. Dumbledore to leave Harry blind for a whole year and forced Sev to kill him.

I am aware of what they bring to the story, they're very interesting and I'm glad they add what they do to the story-and I still hate em.

If ya hate them, you should hate Lupin, Black, Voldemort etc even more.

Snape bullied children.

You didn't read the link, sad.

He bullied Neville so much he became the kid's Boggart. Boggarts show a persons worst fear.

Then Hermione fears McGonagall.. you don't hate her, no? The boggart argument is no argument to allow yourself to hate Sev. If you use it, you should hate ALL the things/livings that became boggarts to the children in HP/that scene.

At the time a infamous killer was supposedly on the lose, and his worst fear was his teacher.

And Hermione's was McGonagall and Ron's was a spider and ...

He didn't care about anything else except for Lily-He called her a slur though. And people wonder why she ditched him.

I do not wonder about it. I dislike her, cause she was no true friend. She wanted to get rid of Sev after she no longer had any use for him.

He told Voldemort to kill James and Harry but not Lily. He told Voldemort to kill a newborn.

What? He didn't told Voldy this. Voldy told him, he will kill them all! You switch POVs here. How could Sev in his position beg for the child that is THE enemy of his Master? Voldy would have Avadad him immediately, the Potters after that and what story would we have had then? You never were a Snafender - otherwise you would not have come to such unlogical conclusion.

You're saying this like I don't acknowledge the good things he's done. Again since they were influential to the series I kinda have to. But to overlook all the bad? Yeah not happening. I've dealt with my fair share of emotionally abusive teachers for that to happen. I've dealt with my share of emotional abuse.

And to copy your own experience on Sev is correct? He is not your teacher and he never will! If he reminds you of your teacher, he helped you to see their abusive behavior and that helped you - I bet - to think it over. Their abusive behavior was their fault, never yours and I bet, they had their personal reasons too and those had nothing to do with you personally ... like Sev had - no trauma help, no education how to teach, no supportive love of his parents (as far as we know) and the wrong peer group (DE) - he had to fit in to stay a spy.

Harry did think it over and named his kid after Sev, and you think his parents wouldn't have allowed that? Why do you think Harry named his kid after Sev?

Cause all his "emotional abuse" was only Harry's POV. Seeing Sev's memories opened his eyes, seeing Sevs POV made it clear to Harry that Sev only had to be this way and could not become differently - he had to be the spy, to fulfill his promise, to keep Harry protected. If Sev would had been kind to Harry (THE enemy of DEs) - not emotional abusive - would he had been an accepted DE? No.

You're assuming quite a bit about me. I've read the Harry Potter books a dozen times over. There what got me into reading in the first place.

Read them again in 5 years and the link completely, please.

I am not a senseless hater. I am not senseless. I need reasons for my hate. I need proof. And I have it.

That's why I changed my outlook on him. You have proof to 'love', I have to 'hate'.

Your proof is no proof to me, cause it his based on Snaters POV not on neutral human POV.

Let's go on our separate ways. Where either you block me or I block you. Or you just get off my blog. Love with the people who love with you. Leave me be.

Ok. Sadly you decided over my head. I use an old trick now ... I am sorry, but I feel the need to do so.

I will use the anti snape tag. I'll still get interaction. I already have by fellow 'Snaters' I mean have you seen the likes and reblogs?

Oh really? No, didn't see it. I am sorry. Yeah some of us Snovers can be very ... rude.

I still don't believe you were once a Snafender and became a Snater after reading the books properly ... properly reading btw means that you read sth from a neutral -meta- POV. You have to accept ALL in the text at first without judging it (morally) and find out why it's written this way and not the other way. Most readers read a text from their personal POV. That's why we have many -mostly young- Snaters and still some Snafenders.

I hope you are alright and are old enough to not take this and the internet in common too personal.

I wish you all you need.

RIP James and Lily Potter you would've never let Harry name his kid 'Albus Severus' Potter

[aroceu]

shame is the self killer shame is the authenticity killer shame hides the honesty of your art and the beauty of your own individual uniqueness and voice and thoughts. without embracing the parts of you that people might think are annoying or imperfect or cringe the road to self acceptance and inner peace and lasting happiness will continue to stay that much harder

[theladygazingatemptiness]

.

[luulapants]

Existential despair is so common in a person's twenties, I think, because up until that point, we've had a pretty clear road map for what's expected of us and we haven't had much reason to question that map. There are still a few milestones outlined for us (start a career, get married, make babies) but more and more young people are entering the post-school world and realizing:

A) that career thing just isn't happening like they said it would

B) I'm not ready to get married/I don't want to get married/marriage isn't the sort of life-altering event that it used to be

C) I'm not ready to make babies/I don't want a baby/I can't afford to raise children right now (see point A)

And in the absence of these milestones to shoot for (which one could argue weren't the promise of fulfillment they claimed to be in the first place), what we're left with is this aimless abyss of "the rest of our lives" sprawling out ahead of us with no indication of how it will go or what we should be doing to shape it. Young people start their first jobs, find they hate them, and think to themselves, "Is this it? Am I just supposed to do this job until I'm too old to do it or die first?"

Which is, yeah, really fucking depressing!! So here's my best attempt at an alternate roadmap for young people that don't vibe with the old model. Please feel free to add in your own suggestions!

Learn how you work and what you want out of a job. Unless you've been in a job-specific training program that gives you hands-on experience, your first jobs should be experiments. Learn how a full-time job feels for you, what elements are more or less difficult. Different workplaces have different cultures and expectations - what do you need out of a job environment? Do you need to find fulfillment in your job or is it enough for it to pay the bills and leave you time to find outside fulfillment? Do you want to climb a corporate ladder or are you content to hunker down as long as your bills get paid? This period of experimentation is exhausting and may feel like it's consuming your whole life.

Learn how to make time for things outside of work. Adapting to a full-time work environment often leaves you feeling so drained that you can't do anything but go home and collapse on the couch every day. That's fine - for a little while. But it can also become a habit. You need to learn how to do things after work or you'll go crazy. Go to a trivia night. Start an exercise schedule. Take a class in your community. Find volunteer work. Join a band. You will find that putting more things into your day makes you feel like you have more time, not less.

Find a community. Making friends as an adult can feel impossible. Where do you find these mysterious friends everyone seems to have?? This goes along with #2, though. As you start regularly attending the same activities, you will find that repeat interactions with the same people turn into friendships or at least friendly acquaintances. Say yes to invitations. Get involved in your local community. Strive to be connected enough to bump into people at the grocery store.

Unlearn bad lessons. We all internalize some messed up things when we're growing up. As you start off your adult life, that's the time to actively work at unpacking the things you've brought with you from childhood and deciding which things are helping you and which things are harming you. This might mean therapy or joining a spiritual group or reading new things or just making special time to be in your own head.

Learn the lessons you missed. In this, I mostly mean practical things. "Adulting." Areas of your day-to-day practical life that are causing you extreme stress are probably related to a knowledge or experience gap. Do you hate cooking and cleaning or were you not taught how to do it properly? Are you afraid of making medical appointments or is it just something new you're not used to? Does money make you queasy or do you need to learn how to make a budget?

Find something fulfilling. This can be your job. It can be volunteer work. It can be faith. It can be a hobby. It can be creating things. It can be challenging yourself physically. It can be activism. It can be going for walks in nature. Everyone finds fulfillment in different places. If you're not finding it where you are, look somewhere else.

[getosbigballsack]

Random thought!

But just imagine 35 years old CEO Gojo Satoru falling in love with the young woman whom he hired to be his surrogate.

Desperate at this point to fulfill his role as CEO and the heir of his family clan, he knew he had no other choice but to find someone who would be willing to give birth to his child.

He thought his ex-wife was the one. After all, she was pregnant when they were still together. When the due date came around and Satoru heard that she gave birth to a healthy baby boy, he was over the moon until he saw the baby for himself.

He knew that that wasn't his baby. Blonde hair and green eyes? No one in his family had blonde hair and green eyes. So he asked for a DNA test. His ex-wife refused at first, but then she gave in, and when the test came back, the baby was 99.99%, not his child.

He was broken. He served her divorce papers the following day, and after everything he had done for her, this is how she chose to repay him. As if cheating wasn't enough, she had to get pregnant and gave birth to another man’s child.

So now here he is sitting in a cafe waiting for the surrogate.

...

You didn't have much of a choice. 26 years of age and still struggling to get your bachelor's degree just so that you could live a comfortable life and be financially stable.

But with the way things are right now, you knew that it was an impossible task to complete your final year. You could hardly manage to pay your school fee. You kept on getting rejection letters from student loans, and let's face it, you barely had time to study to even try to get a scholarship.

So now you're stuck looking for a quick and easy way to make money. You had little options, and prostitution just so happened to be one of them. And you almost turned to it, that's until you heard that a "rich" CEO was looking for a woman who was willing to give birth to his heir.

So now that's how you ended up in the situation to you're in currently. Nervously playing with your fingers as sat across from no other than Gojo Satoru.

"Your name is Y/N?"

"Yes, and you're Mr. Gojo Satoru."

He shook his head yes while taking a sip of his coffee. "I hope you don't mind meeting like this. I thought it would be better to meet in a more casual setting instead of my office. I don't want to intimidate you."

"That's fine, Mr. Gojo."

"Before we get started, are you sure you want to do this? I want you to be absolutely sure because once you sign the contract, there is no backing out of it."

You shook your head yes before responding, "it's something that I've thought about deeply, Mr. Gojo, and after reading through the contract a few times, I came to the conclusion that I would rather have a baby for a stranger who is willing pay to me more than what my school fee is worth than go and become a prostitute."

He was shocked by your words but said nothing of it. It wasn't his place to say anything or have any comment about your personal life.

"Well then, I guess we can go ahead and meet with our lawyers and sign the contract."

"Lawyers? I thought... I can't afford a lawyer right now," you said to him.

He chuckled, "I figured that that would be the case. No worries, I had already hired a lawyer for you."

"You did?" You asked. Just then, the door to the cafe burst opened, and in came a man and a woman dressed in suits.

"Ah, there they are. Right on time."

Gojo stood up and greeted the lawyers before he introduced you to them. The man, Mr. Nanami Kento is his lawyer, and the woman Tetsu Akari is your lawyer. First impression she has a kind and calm aura around her.

But let's move down the line.

You four all sat and discussed what was on the contract, and before you signed it, Gojo asked, "Is there anything that you need to clarify before signing the contract."

"Yes, uhm, it's about the procedure. Are we going to uhm... have... uhm intercourse to conceive the baby?"

"We could since it's the safe way to go about this, but no," he answered with a small smile on his face.

"Ok then, where do I sign."

This is the beginning of how Gojo Satoru fell in love with the woman he hired to be his surrogate.

[ridingtorohan]

Moments of the Tulpar crew experiencing Hanahaki disease for the reader (pre-crash)

𓇻 content warning. no spoilers for the game. swansea's is left ambiguous if it's romantic or platonic. receiver's choice. jimmy's whole section is a warning; denial, mention of self-mutilation (not depicted), possessiveness, manipulation and implied sexual frustration. jimmy's ending line is not about sexual assault, he's just manipulative.

Hanahaki Disease

A condition that causes the victims to cough up flowers or flower petals, due to either unrequited love or repressed love for another person.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ Read it On AO3! _ Masterlist _ Join the taglist _ Ask box

Yellow Chrysanthemum- a deep love that cannot be spoken.

"You have your space legs," Curly says, voice a low rumble in his chest. His hand smooths over your shoulder, feeling the shift of muscle. Through the flightsuit, he could feel the rumble of your laughter.

"Six times the charm, right?" You smile with the glint of your teeth, head tipped back to peer up at him. Warmth and roots lodge in his chest, like tiny tendrils of leaves crawling through him. Like being tickled from the inside, a radiated warmth that resonated through his limbs. He loved to look at your smile, how your expression lit up the whole room.

Curly remembered when the two of you were paired together, with you fresh out of training and new to travel. How queasy it made most people feel, even with the artificial gravity. He'd been the same.

Blue eyes dart low, watched as Daisuke threw a uno reverse down, giddy in his seat.

You shout back and reveal one of your own. The conversation devolved then to a bickering match and culminated in Daisuke's sulky expression as he scrounged around for a green.

"You should join us, Curly," you said, eyes back on him.

Stems lodged in his throat, petals curled against soft muscle. A bloomed flower, ripe under your attentive gaze. Everything inside him blossomed at your every word, fragile and wanting in his mouth.

"In a minute. Piloting duties." As he excused himself with a clearing of his throat, he reluctantly pulled away from your side, only to let his eyes linger on your side profile. How easy you interacted with the other Tulpar crewmembers; Anya and Daisuke especially.

Swansea grumbled in his seat and through some barbaric display of betrayal, threw down a stack of +4's on top of Daisuke's green before announcing the new colour (green). The pivotal horror only increased as you slapped your own on top, just for Daisuke to hurriedly slap through the deck. ("We don't even have enough cards!")

It's a gentle feeling; being in love like this. Feeling connected in more ways than a captain should. Than a captain legally ought to. Still, it reached up, through his body, like an ache that needed to be fulfilled. Eyes that always followed you; the attentive way he spoke to you. Every bone in his body whispered love, love, love. I love you.

Pilot duties was just an excuse. Safe from the rec hall, Curly raised a fist to his mouth as his chest heaved. A wet, sticky yellow flower fell from his mouth, devotion spelled out to the bone.

Curly doesn't hate you for this. He's lived long enough to cradle the emotions as they come, to take the small chances when he could get it. A captain's duties didn't extend to fraternization.

As he held the flower between his fingers, he couldn't fault you at all. Not when you smiled at him - like the crew-- like that. He didn't expect his love to be returned; loving you was enough. Even like this.

Honeysuckle- devoted love, whose entwined vines represent the difficulty to escape its grasp

The insufferable itching was the worst of it. Each swelled muscle, bulge under his veins; Jimmy has half a mind to claw into his own skin. Tear the flowers right out from him, bloody and whole.

He'd rather feel anything but this, this unfathomable twitchy lurch in his chest. How you made his skin clammy and pulse skittered. Half of the time he wanted to throttle you, the other portion involved throwing you against the wall and devouring you right there.

Because something about you demanded that he take, stake a claim on his person. Outside of Curly, you were the only one able to placate him, to have a backbone and withstand his hurled words.

He didn't expect this twitch in his body, the tension that rattled through him like a freight train. Jimmy, on all accounts of everyone he's ever been with, didn't do soft. He didn't do sweet.

With you, it felt like the best and worst of him was brought out. A willingness to scoff and turn the other way - however begrudgingly. The way his temper flared, quick to rise on the offense and defense.

Red, sickly petals fall from his mouth, stems and roots attached. He's aware of the damned disease; felt it in every rock of his body. Every time his arm so much as touched yours. The inescapable draw, the sway of the boat, the chasm that roared to life inside him.

They tore like a mother up his throat and no amount of scratches at his skin lessened the torment. You have him wrapped right around his finger, drowned him in a pool of your own making.

Jimmy all but hated you for it; hated your sympathetic frowns, the way you so easily acted with the nurse and Daisuke. He's imagined it many times, his fist clenched around your wrist, his mouth on yours. How hot you'd feel against his skin.

The way you turned your head, how your mouth moved so easily, focus rapt on Swansea over some bullshit. Holed up on the sofa, electronic board between you. A better student than Daisuke was supposed to be.

Jimmy's eyes darted over your expression, the way your nose moved when you breathed, the swallow of your throat. Under the simulated forest screen, you looked captivating. Forest light over your eyes that highlighted your cheekbones.

That familiar spasm resonated in his chest again, wet, hot and sickly, and he spat it out, threw the squashed pink and orange blossom in his fingers, roots slick with blood. All that left to the ground as he stomped ahead, hands planted on the back of the sofa.

"Sure, electronic work is all hoorah, but how 'bout I show you some real skills in the pilot's chair?"

He's definitely one to boast, and with the way your eyes turned up, it sent another tremor through his chest. Eyes narrowed, a challenge left your lips, his eyes quick to follow the motion.

Swansea scoffed with a sneer. But who cared about him or his opinions?

When you finally relented, the rattle in his chest intensified, that ache to touch reigning fierce. While Curly's presence deterred any advances Jimmy could make on you, he'd eventually get you right where he wanted you.

Forget-me-nots- the pain of loss and desire to hold onto memories and love

Psych evals weren't Anya's favourite task by any means, but it had been another aspect of her career. One that she chose, one that she'd keep choosing again and again. A step closer to the actual job she wanted; one with different stresses, different bosses. More stability.

For all that it was considered, one aspect that she liked most was to learn about you. How you perceived the depicted situation, how your lips pursed when you were in thought. How your leg shifted, how you once paced the room.

More than once, she'd been distracted by the lull of your voice, the stride of your steps, how your tendons moved beneath your flight suit.

"Good." She says, the word airy in her mouth.

When you smile at her, it is blinding, enough to make her eyes dart away, heart tender in her chest. With you, everything just so much ... less. Less frightful, less stress. Less constant noise in her head. She could breathe around you, bursting a garden for you in her lungs with each stolen glance.

For her, passing the flowers were easy. Mostly petals at first, loose and velvety to the touch. Then whole ones, beautiful and pristine, a testament to their circumstances.

She didn't feel drawn to you, so much as drawn around your orbit; like the Earth around the Sun. A star that burned bright in her eyes. She'd always preferred sunrises.

As the nurse, Anya has been expected to pick up on traits of her patients; learn their allergies, habits. How to better help them. Who helped the nurse? Who helped her when her heart galloped, cheeks a fire when she looked at you?

You were sweet - tender, when most others would look away.

It felt like a baptism by fire.

"That's a cool flower," you breathed out, when the silence lapsed between you.

She startled, hand to her mouth - but your eyes are distant, focused on the bottle she kept on her desk. Not that bottle was an apt term; a tall cup was more appropriate. Keeping a flower without roots was difficult; but forget-me-nots was simple. Easy. Swaddled in water, pretty blue petals frame the glass lip. A testament to her affection for you.

The end of her pen tapped against the clipboard. "Thank you."

Now, your eyes turn to her, lidded with approval and warmth. Her flower garden grows. "I never knew we were allowed to keep flowers here."

A smile lit up her face, immediate and without hesitation. Your approval, however small, meant the world to her. It filled her with a sense of satisfaction, of belonging. Of knowledge that she'd be safe and secure with you, as she always has been.

"It's a special case."

Eyes turn back, admiring the pristine petals. "Still petty cool though. Adds nice colour to the room."

She smiled and her chest hurt with the admiration and affection that ran through her. An intensity that swooped through her, fierce and devoted. "Thank you. I'll be sure to add more next time." She would; anything to have you keep coming back to her little corner of the world, to see your eyes linger, even if not on her.

"Sounds great."

You both turn as Daisuke poked his head in, grin wide on his face. "Hey, guys." Brown eyes dart to you with a pointed, "Curly was looking for you." You nod, fingers on your coat lining as you adjusted it. Anya tried not to focus on it.

"We'll continue this later?" You ask her.

Anya's eyes turn to the forget-me-not, alone and perfect. Even though psych evals weren't a choice, this was. And she'd always keep choosing you. "Yes."

Rue - fragrant flower that is used to ward off evil spirits, representing courage, repentance and healing

Feet step over the small, fragile petals littered over the ground. No matter how many times Swansea swept them up, they clung to his clothes and followed him. Even now, they cluttered his workspace, with one ground to paste around a bolt.

"Looks like a chicken was killed here," comes your voice. Swansea's mouth twitched, upper lip pursed as he doubled over his work. Wiring was delicate work, after all, and he had to correct the mess that his intern made before it affected anything.

Fortunately, he was able to rewire the grid for the time being.

"Shit's tough if a little flowers gets every inch of you knotted up," he answered, voice gruff as flowers tickled his throat. With a twist of his mouth, he coughed, and with the ease of a man whose been through this before, spat the dry buggers out and away from his workspace.

He could all but hear the shrug as you say, "Doesn't bother me."

As he set aside his tool, he leaned over for the spool of electrician's wire. Your knuckles met him, warm flesh against weathered hands as you pass it to him. "Thanks." As he turned away from you, he coughed again, each petal little more than a nuisance.

All the same, you hovered beside him, head leaned over his shoulder as he toiled away. There was something soothing and mundane about it, the way your eyes drifted over his hands, faded tan lines not yet gone.

"You want something or you just like babying my work?"

From his peripheral, Swansea could see the twitch of your lips, the wry wrinkle in your brow. How your eyes turned away, roamed over the assortment of metals he has strewn about over his work table, only to linger on the equally as vast array of pale yellow.

Telling him to see Anya about his 'condition' hadn't helped the last time you brought it up. Swansea had more than enough experience to believe that it'd be here to stay, to ruminate among the other seedlings left behind in his chest. This one festered longer than the others, almost soft and delicate. How he dealt with it was the same.

But you were different from the rest.

"You know me, always wanting to admire your work." There's that cheeky grin he knows and he snorts in amusement. Even when it was followed by a short cough, he turned his focus back on the wires. When that was sorted through, he leaned back in his chair, brow sweaty with exertion.

"Alright, get it off yer chest and tell me what's up."

There's that twitch of your head he knew so well, the cock of your mouth and the side-glance of your eyes. Even as you leaned against his workstation, hip to the edge, every side of you rang with familiarity. Cramped together on a ship for six hauls did that to people; it was easy to know their body language, their mannerisms.

Easy to love.

Swansea's head tipped back, lips quirked and brow shifted in a beckoning motion. With a sigh, as you always did, you began your tirade about your latest frustration. Jimmy was at it again, a string of months long frustration bubbled out. Cards up his sleeve - literally--, the snide remarks, the open hostility. A point of contention that Swansea knew all too well.

"Want me to sock him a new left cheekbone?" In response, you laughed, eyes shut tight as you doubled over. No holds barred, genuine and true to the bone.

A facet of you that Swansea always liked; you had been upfront from the get-go, earnest in your attempts to befriend the crew. In mapping out the ship, glad for Swansea's guidance as he gave you the grand tour. A genuity that he hadn't seen for a long time, let alone directed at him.

Most people scoffed at his age, dismissive of the years toiled away in labour, dedicated on one task to the next. Where the two of you may have butted heads, you always bounced back, prepared for the next go. It had reminded him of himself, when he was younger. Now, it just reminded him of you.

While you all too gleefully admonished him for the offer, he didn't rescind it. Because for all the things he admired in you, you fostered it in him too. A drive to be himself, to rebound after the goings get tough. Wakeup calls weren't as pleasant as your company, but for now he'd take what he could get.

Even if the flowers got in the way of it all.

Dahlia- representing sacrifice and endurance needed to thrive in harsh conditions as well as gratitude and commitment

His leg is stationary, twitching every so often against the table. Daisuke has already knocked over a few Sorry! pieces, not that he had much problem with that - Swansea was winning anyway.

The tv screen before you two was awash in a golden haze, a sun over a distant horizon, washing the sea in light. It's picturesque, letting him ruminate in the thoughts with a hazy feeling in his chest.

He's never quite been in love like this before, this upbeat, yawning, yearning chasm inside him. Where every touch gives him the jitters, where he just wants to wrap you up in his gangly arms and hold onto you forever.

He's never been in love where it aches, like flowers rooting in his blood. Out of everyone, he knows more than enough about the condition that saunters in his body; seen it enough times on his sisters. A hereditory predisposition, he somehow never grasped that he'd get it.

Not once did it ever feel wrong, like this was a burden. A phantom ache, it reached into his lungs and nestled there. He had seen the pink petals fall into his palms and he knew, 'this is love'. When he saw your face, felt his heart patter in his chest, he knew, 'this is love'.

Each time he opened his mouth, slid a packet of extra sweetener your way, he felt it. Just as he felt it now, resting low in his chest, stems of dahlias woven into his hair. Out of everything, he'll always be proud of it, of what you've given him. This life that throbs inside of him, the moments that never seem to pass.

Even though you've expressed concern whenever Daisuke coughed up a fresh one - whenever your shoulders so much as touched-- he was glad for it. Glad for how your leg shifted against his now, your arm all but crushing his. How you two are folded together, your eyes glued to the peaceful scene on the screen, while all Daisuke can think about is watching you.

How the light dances over your cheekbones, over your nose. How you nestle against him like you can't pry yourself away, thigh to thigh and shoulder to shoulder. As restless and ansty as he tended to be, he felt solid and complete right beside you.

"That is not what your book says," is what you say as your mouth twitched upwards, eyes crinkling at the corners as you look at him. Each glance has him grin and he felt like a kid again, one who learned how to draw again for the first time.

"It is so!" He chirped with a dramatic wave of the electrical book that Swansea had given him. "It is hella in here! Thomas Edison totally got the idea of the lightbulb from the flowers that wove around it!"

And you laugh, that sound that sent shivers right down to his bones and he grinned and echoed, unashamed of how he sounds, his heart and inner garden close to bursting.

"No way! I've read that book! He isn't even in there!" You smacked his shoulder and he doubled over, sides pressed to yours as he dramatically flourishes it closer.

"Is so!" He pointedly tapped his index finger to the paragraph he was on. As you squint through the dim light, he could already tell by your furrowed brow and rolled eyes that you had skimmed the page. Even as you jostled his shoulder, he laughed.

"Am I right or am I right?" He laughed.

"It's not in there!"

"It might as well be!"

Even as your laughter chorused together, he found himself all too eager to slide back up against you, the book propped up in his arm as he showed off the page. "...and he totally, radically, found purple petals. The end!" He concluded his paragraph. It was worth the elbow to the gut and the hard laughter. Because it was coming from you. It was all you.

"You said orange flowers last time!" You admonish, almost under your breath before you laugh, "But alright, go on then. Read the rest of it if you're so sure of it!" With a wide grin, he did, even when you rolled your eyes at his random embellishments, or when he completely derailed and started to rant about the invention of pizza.

For each moment that lingered between you two, it felt easy. It felt safe. Even when you gave up and grasped the book from his hands, when your knuckles touched and electricity wound under his skin, he knew it to be true.

As your hands drew out the flower bookmark he kept, half-squashed between the pages, he caught it as you set it down.

For every failure that he felt he cropped up in life, this certainly wasn't it; this was something made with love, with passion, with something that he had avidly searched for as he grew up.

When he tucked the flower into your hair, he listened to the ramble of your words as you scanned through the paragraphs - the proper ones-- and watched the light of the screen reflect across your eyes.

This is the feeling that Daisuke knew best; this burning, smoldering affection that rested inside his chest. This was as close as he'd get to feeling 'home' without returning to Earth, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

[flrlgreen]

taboo (toji fushiguro x reader) + twt prn link

a/n: i'm finally back and i'm here to stay! i was taking a much-needed break but now that i'm back requests are open and i'll be fulfilling requests that i've already received. as always, thank you for all of the support! (this isn't realistic i almost passed out when i lost my virginity LMAO)

cw: LEGAL AGE GAP, reader is in college and toji is in his 40s, unprotected sex, toji is manipulative and shitty, dub con, loss of virginity, vaginal sex, toji says mama, baby girl, good girl, baby, etc, talks of breeding and marriage.

link

Spending time with your best friend’s dad Toji. At first. Seems innocent enough and there’s no reason to think anything suspicious was going on. Of course, if you ignore the fact that he practically undresses you with his eyes and looks at your soft tits and ass when he thinks you’re not looking.

Tonight was the breaking point. The moment he saw you in the living room watching a movie with your now-sleeping best friend in those tight shorts he loved so much he knew he had to have you. Tonight.

There was a lot of suggestive flirting and before you knew it one thing led to another and you were in the middle of Toji’s big and soft bed with Toji on top of you.

“Been wanting you for so long you have no fuckin’ idea.” He says while licking a long stripe up your neck. A small whine escapes your lips. It goes to his leaking cock that’s now uncomfortably straining against his pajama pants.

“T-Toji wait.” You say nervously. “Hm?” He hums and pulls away from your neck and gives you a look full of concern. “I-I’m a virgin.” You stutter nervously and await his response. His gaze softens when he hears that you’re a virgin. “Aw, ‘s okay Sweetheart. I’ll be gentle and take care of you, ‘kay?” He gives your forehead a tender kiss before putting his forehead against yours and making direct eye contact. “O-okay, I trust you.” You feel like your face is on fire. Toji smiles before leaning in and pressing his scarred lips on yours.

It feels natural to kiss him back. It feels so right. His lips were impossibly smooth and tasted so good, it made you crave more of him. His strong calloused hand played with the hem of your top before it found its way up your tank top. a small mewl left your lips, but he couldn’t help himself. He just wanted to feel you all over. He had been waiting for this exact moment since he laid his eyes on you after all. “Shhhh~ It’s okay Baby lemme take care of you.” He whispers into the kiss. “I promise I’ll make you feel good.”

You knew Toji had a lot of experience with women and he sure as hell knew how to please one. Admittedly, you were a tad nervous but Toji was probably the perfect candidate for taking your virginity. The older man’s large hand found the soft flesh of your breast and your hard nub. “Hmmph! T-Toji!” You cry out and pull away from the kiss. “You’re so sensitive, we need to be quiet, we don't want to wake her, do we Baby Girl?” He whispers and uses his free hand to cover your mouth while kneading the soft flesh of your breasts with the other. You nod and hold back your moans while he begins to rub the sensitive bud. “I need to see these fucking tits.” He huffs.

The hands that were just massaging your breasts and covering your mouth are now at the neckline of your tank top. He’s so desperate to finally see your pretty tits after all this time that his strong hands rip the thin material of your tank top with no struggle. “‘m sorry Baby I had to.” A whistle leaves his lips when he sees your tits on full display for him. “Mmm, such pretty little tits Mama~” Your face turns a shade of bright red when you feel his sharp lustful gaze on your exposed chest.

“Can I Baby?” He licks his lips and looks at you for approval. “Mhm.” You were so shy and it was making Toji’s cock ache. He licks his lips before he lowers himself and leans in. The tip of his tongue nips your hardened nipple. “Fuck!” His mouth leaves your nipple, “Feels so good doesn’t it?” All you can do is whimper while his whole undivided attention is on your tits.

You can’t stop the moans that escape your sinful mouth. His movements switch between suckling on your hardened nipples and squishing your tits together and stuffing his face between them.

“‘M so obsessed with your tits. Even better than I imagined.” He squishes your soft tits together while his green eyes look up at yours. “No one else can touch these tits. Mine.” Toji leaves a soft bite on your right tit before his hand travels lower.

“Can I touch you down here, Sweetheart? I’ll make it feel so good.” He toys with the waistband of your tight shorts. “I bet your little virgin pussy is the sweetest.” Your legs clench when the words leave his lips. “I’m a little scared.” “There’s no need to be. You know I wouldn’t hurt you right, Doll?” The fingers that were toying with the waistband of your shorts were pulling them lower and lower. “I know I can make you feel so good. Just let me ‘kay?” “B-but!” Your shorts and panties are pulled down in one swift motion before you can even retort. Your soft cunt gets exposed.

The man between your legs licks his lips when he sees your soft virgin cunt. Your hand immediately goes down to cover your pussy which Toji wasn’t a fan of. He grabbed your small and weak hand and moved it away. “Let me see.” He demands while lifting your legs so he can see your puffy pussy. “Fuckk- Such a pretty little cunt. All for me too, no one else is allowed to touch you like this Baby.” “This is so embarrassing,” Two hands cover your face while Toji takes in the view of your body completely exposed to him now.

“Don’t be so shy Sweetie, you’re so fucking delicious.” He bites his lip and looks at your glistening folds.

He can’t help it, he wants to touch you now. His pointer finger dips between your slick folds and grazes your clit. “A-ah! Be gentle, pretty please.” Toji can’t help himself. All of your whimpers and mewls make him want to ravish you more and more. His cock needs to feel your tight pussy and needs to breed you full of his cum. He runs his finger up and down your folds.

He uses the fact that you’ve never felt anything like this before to his advantage. He frees his weeping cock of the restraint of his pajamas and damp boxers while you were a sensitive moaning mess from just his finger. He almost feels bad.

His cock is thick and long and he knows that it’s hard to take. Even for the more experienced women that he had slept with. The cold air hit his cock and he couldn’t hold back his soft moan. He also couldn’t help pressing the huge tip on your wet folds. “H-Huh? Is that?” You’re a bit confused, but then the realization hits and you realize what’s touching your wet cunt. “Mhmmm, it’s big isn’t it?” A shit-eating grin is plastered all over his face while he grips the base and rubs it between your wet folds, earning a moan from you. You uncover your face and take a look at Toji’s leaking cock on your pussy. “It’s so big, will it fit?” “Of course it will. If not. I’ll make it fit.” The tip of his cock poked at the small opening.

“Be good for me, yeah?” Before you can even process what’s happening you feel the tip of his thick cock begin to sink into your heat. “I-“ He didn’t even give you the chance to even adjust before his huge cock felt like it was ripping you in half. “Toji! Hurts. It’s not gonna fit!” You practically yell. “That’s only the tip Baby. Be a good girl and be quiet for me.” His tone is now low and almost scary. “Hurts so bad,” Tears begin to prick your eyes while Toji’s thick cock bullies its way into your tight virgin cunt.

“There we go-“ He groans when your pussy finally stretches around the thick length. “Wasn’t too bad was it?” His tone was almost condescending. The stretch was some of the worst pain you had ever felt, you almost regretted losing your virginity to someone that was so. Well endowed. Not that you could have possibly known that. “Hurts so badddd-“ You whine when you feel his coarse pubic hair against your bare pussy.

“Don’t be such a whiny baby,” He gives your clit a harsh slap making you yelp. “I’m sorry. Ah!” The feeling of being full is so unfamiliar, but it’s something you can get used to. His cock was so thick, but it filled you to the brim as bad as the stretch felt you knew it would be temporary. “I’ve never had pussy this tight. I should have fucked you a long time ago.”

When he thinks he’s waited enough time he begins to move his hips. “Your pussy is sucking me in. So perverted.” He bites his lip while he tries to savor the feeling of your tightness.

“T-Toji- Need more~” The pain had subsided and waves of pleasure had begun to wash over your body little by little.

“Do you? Such a needy girl.” He presses your plush thighs together. “I’ll give you more, dirty girl.” Toji wants to make you see stars and make sure you never forget this exact moment. As long as he can leave you a begging and whimpering mess he knows he’s done his job.

His hips slam into you over and over again. His balls hit the fat of your ass whenever he sped up. “I love my sweet little Baby. You’re so good and obedient. You belong to me now.” You could tell by his higher tone that he was enjoying this a little too much and getting carried away with such possessive language.

“You let me in raw, what a dirty girl. I need to breed you and make you a mommy.” He’s getting close and you could tell. “You’d like that, I know you would. Being my little pregnant wife.” His fingernails were digging into your soft thighs while he slams in and out.

“The way you’ve looked at me, I know you want this too.” “Breed me Toji,” You don’t need to tell him twice.

“You’re something else- Oh my god- I can’t hold back.” He groans before he feels pleasure wash over his muscular body.

“My god. I came so much so fast.” He sighs before pulling his softening cock out of your hole.

He watches as his warm seed spills out of your abused cunt. “You old perv, did you actually cum inside?” Silence.

[riansdiary]

YOU'RE NOT "TRYING TO MANIFEST" OR "WAITING TO MANIFEST", YOU HAVE IT NOW!

I realized something after reading through Solar Subs' law of assumption guide again.

I think the only thing stopping everyone is the fact that we see the lack in the 3d and consider it real or want it to change too but what you have to understand is that changing the 3d is not our job. You just have to keep getting comfortable with your new state and maintain it by living in the end or in the state of the wish fulfilled.

This is the best one so far that I thought of about the 3d in terms of manifesting. You affirm and somehow look for it in the 3d. What do we do to stop that?

DISMISS IT BECAUSE THAT'S NOT THE REALITY YOU ARE IN ANYMORE AND DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO IT.

Again, attention is powerful. Ever heard of the saying "Whatever you focus on grows"? This is true for manifesting as well. Whatever you are paying attention to, you will get more of it so pay attention to your new reality and live in it. The 3d is not your job so you don't need to do anything about it. Don't wait because you have it now. Don't assume the 3d is real and let yourself take your own desires from yourself.

This is the comparison of someone manifesting while living in the 3d versus one who lives in the 4d or living in the end.

Sarah lives in the 3d:

Sarah wants to manifest pretty hands so she affirms.

Sarah: I have such pretty hands. My hands are so delicate and soft.

After that, Sarah continued on with her day and she looked at her hand at one point.

Sarah: Ugh! Where is it? Why is it not here yet? This is so annoying!

She lived in the 3d and assumed that the 3d is her reality. That's because she paid attention to it.

Now, Tilly lives in the end or 4d all the time. She also wants to manifest pretty hands.

Sarah: I have pretty hands. My hands are so beautiful and delicate. I have my desired hands.

Sarah goes through her day and sees her hands at one point. She observes it but she knows she doesn't live in that reality anymore so she dismisses it and doesn't pay attention to it.

She decided to remind herself that she already has it and she continues to do that.

Sarah: I know I have pretty hands now and I do! That's what is true for me. I already have it now. It's already done.

This is exactly what I'm doing right now and it feels so good! I don't have to worry about me reacting because I know it's not my job to change it. I already have it and that's it. I continue to live in the reality where I already have my desires and constantly remind myself of that fact. It's freeing because I don't have to be so anxious and scared of the 3d, time and any circumstances. I just observe the 3d, know it's not my job to change it, know I don't live in that reality anymore and continue living in the end and remind myself throughout the day that I have it now. I don't find it outside of me because I know I have it now.

Do this for a week or how much you want and tell me your experience!

Yours Truly,

Lady Rian Whistledown 💋

[shadowbriar]

Five Hargreeves - Back To You

Pairing : Five Hargreeves x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 2.8k Warning : Angst. Season 4 references. Synopsis : After one too many subway trips, Five's plan of temporal refuge extended as he met someone he refuse to lose. Notes : I refuse to acknowledge what happened in Episode 5 and 6 though I use the gif of said episodes. Don't come at me if you don't agree. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕

Living in a small cottage by the lake has never been in his cards. To settle down and watch the sun sets everyday, hearing the rocking chair creak as he takes a sip of his coffee. This was beyond anything he could ever hoped for, anything he could afford. He knew that this wasn’t the life he’s supposed to lead. Lord, this wasn’t even a life he owns to begin with. But with each second passed in this universe, Five finds it hard to drag himself back to that subway and return to his own timeline.

“Enjoying the scenery, are we?” She whispers as she sits on his lap, clinging her arms around his neck “You know, I could really use the help stuffing that chicken. It is afterall your special request.”

The boy raised an eyebrow, “Shouldn’t I be off of any chores since it is my special request?”

“Just because it’s your birthday, doesn’t mean you’re having a vacation, big guy,” She reasoned “We’ve only got two hands and this house is only getting bigger than smaller.”

The boy couldn’t bite his grin when he leaned in to kiss her. His heart swells. She was right. The house feels like it’s growing along with them. They might not have much, certainly far from the wealth his father possesses, but it was much more than enough. Having her was much more than enough.

“You know that I love you, right?” Five asks as he pulls away, his left hand still cupping her cheek as his thumb caresses her gently.

“I know,” She nods, smiling “But you can’t sweet talk your way out of kitchen duty, Mister.”

Five chuckles, standing from his seat as he carried her in his arms, “Alright, Missy, let’s see what this chicken fuss is all about.”

—-

The muscles on his cheeks were aching but he couldn’t fight the need to grin as wide as he could. He was happy, watching her carry that awful looking cake out of the oven. The icing that supposedly spelled ‘happy birthday’ was crooked, its colour pale compared to the bright fondant covering it. Thank God the candles were their only source of light, otherwise she wouldn’t even bring it out, he reckons.

“It’s ugly, I know,” She says as she lets it rest on the table “But it tastes better than it looks, I promise.”

Five shakes his head, disagreeing with her discouraging comments as he steals a kiss, “It’s perfect.”

“Well, go on and make a wish!”

The boy closes his eyes. His hands holding hers as he whispers his wish: I wish for this to last forever. Her squeals of excitement was music to his ears as he blew the candles. It is indeed the best birthday of his life.

“I’d ask but I know you wouldn’t tell me your wish.”

“Who said I made any wish?”

“You did,” She says as she helps him cut the cake “You make that little frown everytime you say your little prayer, do you know that?”

“I don’t pray, Love.”

“You do. Well, not religiously, but sometimes you do. You say your little prayer, your hopes. You whisper them sometimes, but most times you just close your eyes and do that little frown thing.”

Five raised an eyebrow, “Have you been watching me?”

“I might,” She teases “I mean who wouldn’t watch such a handsome man like you?”

The night continues as the couple finishes their dinner. Fulfilled would be such an understatement for what he feels right now. Everything he ever wanted, everything he ever dreamed of, is served right in that room. He wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.

“So can I take a guess about what you wished for?”

“Really, Love?” He asked, putting down his glass of wine.

She shrugs, “We’ve talked about everything else, haven’t we?”

“You know, there’s a belief that if you say your prayers, it won’t happen.”

“Well, you’re not saying what it was, I’m just taking a guess what it’s about.” She argues, still persistent “And what’s so bad with it not happening? Do you really want it that bad?”

“I— Nothing, I just don’t—”

“What is it that you could wish for? What is it that you don’t have?”

“Nothing, I’m not saying that I want anything, I just—”

“Is it your family?”

Five pauses. It was as if he was stupefied. He hadn’t thought about his family in a while. Shameful of him, sure, but after one too many subway trips, he figured that a little rest shouldn’t be so bad. He just had to find a timeline where there weren't that many people shooting at him. Perhaps take a week or two to rest and gather his strength before jumping into another subway.

It just had to be her. The girl he bumped into right after he got out of the station. He remembers vividly the concerned look on her face when she saw him. He was littered with bruises, dirt and dust covering his body. He looked more like trouble than a lover yet she still found it in her heart to ask if he needed any help.

And here he was, feeling the happiness in his heart wither as the thought of his family returned to his consciousness. He knew that the universe is cruel, that he couldn’t have the best of both worlds in this lifetime, that he had to choose between his lover or his family. Some nights he wonders if his family had succeeded in preventing another apocalypse without him. Some nights he wonders if his family had found a way to another timeline. Some nights he wonders if his family were still alive. But most nights he tried his best to ignore these wonders. His family must have found a way to stop the apocalypse, or at least escape another one.

Taking a deep breath, Five reaches for her hands. Guilt and regret were evident on her face. He knew that she didn’t mean to sound as cruel. Perhaps it was the wine that made their blood more sensitive or that the fatigue of the day had clouded their minds. Either way he knew that they both would be sorry when the morning came.

“I love you,” He starts gently “I love you more than anything in this and every timeline.”

A tear left her eye. It was painful. To love someone you know doesn’t belong to you. To desperately grasp into the moments you knew would end anytime soon. To selfishly stay in a relationship that was doom from the start. Neither of them deserved this, yet neither of them wanted to let go.

“It’s been six years, Five,” She reasoned “As much as I love you.. We can’t keep living like this.”

“Time works differently there, my love. Six years here might only mean a couple hours there.”

“That doesn’t make it any less wrong for you to stay. Those couple hours might be the most crucial hours for your family. They might be fighting for their lives right now, they might be dying, for all we know! You need to come back to them, Five. You have to.”

Five forces a laugh, “Wait, what are you saying?”

She remained silent. Her tears were falling, biting her lips to conceal her tremble. A bitter feeling is brewing in his stomach now.

“Your family needs you and—”

“Okay, stop,” He stood from his seat with an offended look “Are you breaking up with me? On my birthday?”

She looks away, unable to meet his eyes.

“Goodness, you can’t be serious.”

“What choice do we have, Five? One way or another, you’d have to go back to your family. They need you—”

“And you? You don’t need me anymore?”

Her jaw clenches, “That’s beside the point.”

“No, that is the whole point, actually,” He argues, this time coming close to her “I love you, alright? Why is it so wrong for me to want to be with the person that I love? I’ve lived more than a lifetime alone, why can’t I have someone for once?”

“You don’t belong in this timeline. I—”

“I belong with you,” He cuts in “It’s not the timeline that matters, it’s where you are. I belong with you.”

If there’s anything she loves most about Five other than his gentle and caring nature towards her, it would be how adamant he is once he’s set his mind into something. There’s no doubt in her heart about the genuinity of his words. But as much as she’s grateful and touched over it, she knew that they could only spend so long before the guilt eats them whole.

She lets go of his hands softly, placing them on his cheeks instead. She admires him. The beautiful man that’s now standing in front of her with his heart on his sleeves, announcing his devotion to her on the day when he’s supposed to be the one showered with attention and love. His eyes were glossy, clearly conflicted.

“I love you, Five,” She whispers, gently caressing his skin as if it was their last goodbye “But I can’t keep you here, I can’t. I can’t keep you from your family.”

Five looks defeated, silent.

“Don’t you want to know what happened to them? If they’re okay? If they’ve figured out how to stop the apocalypse? Don’t you want to know?”

“I— I don’t know.” He answers “What I know is that I want to be with you.”

“I’ll always be with you, Love,” She reassures, kissing his cheek “I might not understand how this whole different timelines work, but I know that whichever timeline it is, whatever universe we live in, I will always belong to you. I will always be with you.”

And he finally cries. His tears flowing and wetting her palms. His heart shatters, finally succumbing to the guilt he’s tried so hard to bury and forget. He misses his family, he wanted so badly to get back and pick up where he left off, but would it be worth it? Would leaving everything here be worth it? Would leaving her be worth it?

“We’ll find our way,” She reassures, pulling the broken man into her embrace “You’ll find me in your timeline. Maybe we’ll meet at the grocery store, or at a bar, or perhaps at another train station.”

Five chuckles a little, letting a shaky breath as he asks, “And if we don’t?”

“We will,” She says firmly, giving a little space between them so they could gaze into each other’s face “I’m too much of a troublemaker and you’re too much of a problem solver for us to not meet. It’ll be too hard to ignore each other with our nature, Love. We’re bound to meet each other, in any timeline, in any universe. Trust me.”

The boy forces a smile. He leans in, kissing his lover gently as if she’d burst into petals if he pushed too much. Her hold around his neck feels different. Like she wasn’t looking for support but giving one instead. He could feel her trembling a little as his hands pulled her closer by the waist. Her heart is breaking too, as much as his is, but they knew that it’s inevitable. It’s only a matter of time before time pulls them apart and it certainly would be much more painful then.

“I’ll find you,” He whispers “I promise.”

—-

Canada is certainly much colder than home. Five rubs his hands and blows some air to his palms in hope to gain some warmth, but it’s obvious that the only comfort he’ll find in this weather is to get in Viktor’s bar and ask for some drink. That is, if Diego could start the car and get them going.

“It says here that Viktor’s bar is only five minutes by foot,” Klaus says “Who wants to run to the bar with me?”

“No one is getting out of this car!” Diego says in frustration, irritatedly trying his best to start the engine “We’re going to get to his bar together, in this car. That’s the whole point of a family road trip. We go to the bar by car, not by foot!”

“Yes, but it’s freezing here, Diego! The heater is not even on!” Alison argues.

“Well, it won’t be unless the engine is on.”

“No shit, Luther,” Ben says “I vote to run.”

Lila raises her hand, “Second to run.”

“No! No one is getting out of this car!” Diego yells once more, hitting the steering wheel frustratedly “I just need to—”

And by God’s miracle, the engine turns back on. Though their trip would soon reach its main destination, the bicker done by the family persists. The coldness of Canadian weather and how the heater broke almost twenty kilometres ago has made the seven heads’ temper raise. They really need to get to Viktor’s bar before they start to kill each other.

“I’m out of here,” Five announce as the car gets into the parking space of the bar. He space jumped inside, finding himself on one of the empty stools “Good to see you, Viktor.”

“Five,” VIktor greets, a little startled but his smile grows “You’re here. Where are the others?”

“Still figuring their way out to get here. Can I get whiskey on rocks?”

“On it.”

Five taps on the wooden table as he waits for his drink. His heart was content, as much as it might mean now. Their plan to stop the apocalypse worked. Viktor managed to take the marigold off of Ben before the Cleanse happened and now they’re trying to get back or rebuild their life. For once they finally managed to stop the apocalypse from happening.

Right after they succeeded in preventing the cleanse, Five found himself running to the subway station. He could still feel his feet burning from how fast he tried to get back to the station, wanting to jump in the train and go back to her timeline, but once he got there, the station vanished. There was no trace of it, no matter how many times he tried to run around and look for it. The subway is gone. She is gone.

Perhaps it was the price he has to pay for saving the universe. One’s happiness in exchange for the lives of millions doesn’t seem to be a hard sacrifice to make, but it’s still a tough pill for him to swallow. He knew that she would be proud. That she would hug and kiss him for doing all the hard work in saving the world. But the more he thinks about it, the more it stings for such touch would only be as good as a dream now.

“You ordered whiskey on rocks?” A voice asked, breaking his train of thoughts.

Five’s mouth went agape. He couldn’t tell if he was daydreaming or if this was some sick new power he gained from the marigold, but she was there. Standing right in front of him with a glass of whiskey in her hand.

“Viktor said his brother ordered whiskey on rocks, I assume that’s you?”

“I— Uh, yes,” He stammers, getting off the stool “You’re here.”

Five couldn’t believe his eyes. In his heart he knew that they would meet again, that somehow the universe would let him keep both her and his family, but he never expected that it was true. He never expected that he would meet her again. Not this fast, not this way.

“Sorry?” She asks, raising an eyebrow “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yes. Yes, I’m fine,” Five said, shaking his head and taking the glass “Thank you.”

The girl smiles. It was a different smile than what he’s used to seeing. There wasn’t much love in her eyes, but he wasn’t in the position to complain. The girl he’s staring at and his lover might be the same person but she’s yet to know him here. She’s yet to know that he’s hers. She’s yet to know that he loves her. She’s yet to know that he belongs to her.

“Sorry, but have we met before?” She asks, still staring back at him “You look very familiar.”

“Uh, no, I don’t think so,” He lied, offering his hand “I’m Five. Five Hargreeves. Viktor’s brother.”

She took his hand, telling him her name, “I didn’t know Viktor had a baby brother.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not really his baby brother. It’s— It’s complicated.” Five could feel his cheeks burning like a little boy, bashful “It’s a long story.”

“You mind telling me about it?” She asks, leaning on the table “I’ve got time. I love hearing stories.”

“I know you do,” He says with a big smile “Well, where do I start..”

[infantilebliss]

Supportive Adult Baby Talk

When it comes to ABDL, I always find it funny how it often leads towards two avenues as being generally popular for how people 'talk' to them that are under the 'caretaker' side... either degrading them for being adults that are acting and put in a position way too immature, or being just babies that need to be treated as they are with not much thought about them being adults.

For me, though I generally enjoy treating such cuties as babies, there is something absolutely alluring about having a hybridization of the two in a way that it isn't like either of the two described. Not particularly able to articulate what that is by simple description, so I'll try to show by examples through fantasies.

One such fantasy is when dressing up the cuties~ When you go about and getting outfits for them to go outside or being simply indoors, them in just their well earned pampers that are part of their being, waiting patiently in their nursery as outfits are looked at. When it comes to choosing, their caretaker doesn't simply ignore or humiliate the poor thing, instead they constantly ask questions and compliments... "What colour do you want to wear today?", "Do you feel like dressies or overalls going out?", "This outfit looks really adorable on you, it compliments your adorable face and hair so much and brings out your eyes~"... and when the little one is sucking their binky and trying to babble through their thoughts or having a cute little lisp when making little droolies down their lips, their caretaker constantly listens and tries to articulate what they desire, even if it is hard to understand what the baby is saying sometimes through their baby lips: "Ok, you don't like that blue dress? We can try this other blue dress or a different outfit.", "Yes sweetie, it is a cute outfit, and it's going to look cuter on you~", "Of course sweetie, you can wear that if you want to".

Another is to have the little cutie being able to enjoy what they love to do... whether it is drawing on their paper, or playing their video games, or doing whatever hobbies or interests that peaks their desires. Whether it compliments their 'adult' or 'baby' aspects or a general connection to both, just being there, whether it be them sitting on their lap or going down to one knee to meet their current height as such adult infants are always meant to be given so much dotting and care, being there to support and be part of their interests. Even if it is not entirely your interests as a person, a caretaker that always is there to support their other desires is something that any good relationship really needs... "Hey sweetie, what are you drawing?". "I really love the colours you chose for the sky", "How far have you gotten sweetie?", "Are you thirsty sweetie? Dada can get you a baba so you can have a full tum-tums when playing your playstation~", "Anything interesting happening in the book so far?", "You did such a wonderful job with the trainset sweetie, I'm going to take a picture of it~"...

Being there for an Adult Baby and constantly being there as a support for them for being who they are is such a wonderful, tasteful thought... of course, someone like me will always treat an adult baby as a baby... but I also know that such cuties are little ones that, although they do crave and desire that sense of vulnerability, dependence, and softness in their lives, they more than likely still have other things in their hearts, still have other needs and desires that they need fulfilled and support in. Being there for the little one and acting as a constant foundation, a pillar for the little ones that are meant to be coo'd and aww'd over is always something that gives a smile in my face every time I think about it. I wish more people were like that.

To talk to them as someone so small and vulnerable, yet willing and able to meet their level and be kind to them is something that I would want to strive to be.

[cannellee]

MIKEY! ALPHA! HEADCANONS! WE NEED THEM! i love all your works, please continue to try your best!! (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾ you’re the only blog that we can count on for amazing cute abo fanfics! ♡ 🍓

TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ★

alpha! Mikey x omega! Reader

— tokyo revengers a/b/o headcanons

tw : mikey's a perv, outdoor sex.

my masterlist : ☆

(thank you so much anon!! I'm so happy you like my blog, thank you for keeping me motivated!!🫶🏼 I also included nsfw headcanons here since I had 2 other requests for alpha mikey which included this)

I think alpha mikey's main trait is that he's extremely protective.

he's protective but not in an overwhelming way, he's way more subtle than baji can be for example. glaring at anyone when you got your back turned, but he's giving you an angel face when you face him.

mikey's a walking warning for everyone and alphas know better than to challenge him.

you might think mikey is a passive type of lover, unbothered and going with the flow. people could think that you're the one leading the relationship but you're not.

as long as you're not hurting yourself or others are not bothering you, it's all good.

but a no from mikey is a no, and a firm one at that. no negotiations or compromises : mikey's your alpha and he knows better.

and that's why you trust him! you listen well and he loves that about you.

you're such a docile omega! mikey's melting everytime you obey him so quickly without questioning any of his words.

but he has to admit there's something about you being bratty that amuses him.

he loves to see you act all big and sassy : it makes him want to show just who is in charge!

but mikey's very soft. don't misinterpret his assertiveness as him being controlling. he cares about you and your opinions more than anything.

he takes your thoughts into account so much that a simple word from you could have him doubt himself.

he's anxious and always stressing over his capabilities of fulfilling his duty as your alpha.

this worry alone pushes him to do his very best at looking after you.

when you first met mikey, he knew you were gonna be his. he couldn't have it any other way. you were just so perfect for him : his complete opposite, a breath of fresh air.

if you had a partner when you met, you should have been ready to say bye to him because mikey was not letting you go around with someone that wasn't him.

one might think mikey's not attentive, reliable or understanding and that he's a bit detached, but that's a misconception.

actually, mikey's really soft and cares for you so freaking much :(

he's a huge fan of skinship, hugs, hand holdies and anything of the sort.

he lives for the attention you give him! if you're ignoring him too much for his liking, especially when you're out with people, he will kindly remind you of his presence and casually spread his pheromones.

mikey can act cute all he wants, but once anyone gets a sniff of his scent, they'll be fleeing far from the both of you.

his scent is literally threatening to anyone that's not you.

of course you don't know that, mikey doesn't want to scare you off. but he can't help but get overly jealous sometimes!

and it works everytime : nobody wants to get on his bad side.

also, don't expect mikey to make you food, he's hopeless when it comes to cooking. but he will be buying you toneless of snacks and sweets though.

but make him food and he falls in love all over again. food is literally mikey's weak spot and there's just something about seeing his omega takes care of her alpha the best she can that is so endearing and cute to him.

asks you to spoon feed him and while you do he'll 100% make a mess purposely & ask you to clean his mouth yourself...

he's down bad and always touching you. there's something primitive in him which highlights his possessive instincts whenever you show yourself a bit vulnerable to him

as your alpha, he feels deeply touched that you're feeling safe enough to show this side of yourself and does everything he can to assure you that you can, in fact, trust him fully.

your small frame and doe eyes looking up at him make you look so delicate, it sparks up his protective instincts and a comfortable sense of purpose. knowing he has someone to come back home to, someone who'll always be waiting for him warms his heart.

mikey is all about staying inside : he's a lazy and cuddly alpha, he could bet he's in heaven when you let him lay his head on your lap while playing with his hair.

your nest is his favourite place. he's inside of it even when you're not, even adds his own little plushies and stuff, scents them and rearrange your nest.

you constantly nag him about it because you hate it when someone is moving your nest, even if it's him.

he apologizes and offers to make up for it by eating you out lol.

he has no shame and is dying for your touch. he loves the way you taste! your slick is filled with your fruity scent and makes his head dizzy.

if you were to let him, mikey would be fucking you 24/7 without a rest. he's just addicted like that<3

don't expect him to be slow and gentle, mikey likes it rough and so do you, luckily.

expect to wake up the next morning covered with bruises and bite marks : he likes it so much when your whole body is a reminder of how much you belong to him!

let him scent you and claim you the way he wants and you have the happiest mikey on earth!

but mikey'll take you out! he loves late night dates and watching sunsets with you <3

always gives you his scent covered coat to keep away both the cold and unwanted attention from you.

during your walks, mikey's body and mind are only focused on you. his senses are alert, he's careful and very observing. nope, you're not getting out of his sight tonight and nobody's getting too close to you.

but it doesn't stop him from being a perv.

you've learned not to wear skirts or dresses when you're out : his hands magically grab the hem of your skirt and flick it just to sneak a peek at your undergarments.

the embarrassment you feel is insane, but what's more insane is the pool that's forming between your legs everytime he does so.

your arousal is so strong it drives mikey mad and you're somehow still surprised when he appears to not be able to control himself.

"my sweet omega, be good for me and spread your legs".

he ends up fucking you in a dark alley, your panty pushed on the side and your skirt all the way up with your bare ass out.

you're bend over with your hands on the wall while he's pounding into you from behind just the way you need it!

he's fucking your brains out and you find yourself crying both from pleasure and the exciting fear of being caught.

once you've both cumed, he carries you back to the safe place of your home where he can please you properly. because you and your pleasure matter more than his >:(

(and also because your aroused smell is enough to attract all the alphas of the neighbourhood and mikey doesn't want to fight when he's too busy burying his cock inside your warm pussy).

your presence gives him so much peace, there's not a day he's not grateful to have you. you're the only one who can make him sleep soundly at night and actually appreciate life.

his nightmares and urges are now under control. you keep him composed. just one look at you and your pheromones (his favourite smell) suffice to put his mind at ease.

the first time he introduced you to toman, he made sure they all acted right in front of you. they were a bit surprised by you and how kind you were compared to the invincible mikey, but everyone knew you were the perfect match <3

randomly calls you during the day and comes pick you up after school. he's your personal bodyguard and takes his job rather seriously tbh. asks you what you want to eat and buys everything you ask.

making sure you ate is his priority n.1! he needs to make sure you're well taken care of.

doesn't show it but he's always worried about you.

mikey doesn't let his emotions show, he only lets himself be vulnerable in the comfort of your embrace.

he's always carrying an item with your scent and expects you to do the same.

he's soo loving and affectionate, alpha mikey is the perfect mix between a guard dog and a big teddy bear. it's all about balance!

[dreamgirievii]

Instant Crush

Synopsis: Your families arranged for you to marry each other and boost their companies, they just didn't know you were declared enemies since childhood. Now you're living on the same roof and sharing a bed, you still have to keep up appearances for your parents so they won't suspect that you hate each other. But now after months together, you begin to feel desire for him, and you hate the thoughts that are now invading your head.

Words: 1,3 k

Content: female reader, enemies to lovers, oblivous to love trope, arranged marriage.

Part 1 here

Part 2 here

part 3 here

You were arranged in a marriage with a soon to be CEO, Gojo Satoru, who also happened to be your childhood enemy. It has been months and you were still trying to settle in his presence, he was everywhere you go, he knew everyone you knew, and besides, you have to share a bed. so your plans to pretend he didn't exist in your life were long ago tossed aside. 

And now you found yourself with your back to each other trying to ignore his excessive talking.

Everyday before you could even try to sleep, he would ramble about the most obnoxious things, he knew you got irritated every time, that's why started doing it religiously. Today was no different, the minute you went to your room, he followed, and started his monologues. Until they stopped, you thought he finally gave up and slept. 

“When are you planning to finally let me in?” he whispered in an annoyed tone. You didn't bother to answer, closing your eyes shut as a communication you don't want to talk to him. You felt the weight of the mattress shift and his hot breath in the back of your neck.

“What do you mean?” you let on in a false tired tone, still not facing him.

“Oh y/n. Don't play innocent with me. You know exactly what I mean. but if you want to deny the pleasure of my presence, then who am I to say otherwise?” he whispered in your ear in a condescending tone. You finally turn to face him.

As you face him, you see a smug smile on his face, his eyes sparkling false playfulness. You could feel your cheeks burning hot, be it by anger, or something else. 

“Look who finally decided to face me! couldn't hold yourself longer huh? admit y/n you just can't hold yourself any longer” he said as he grabbed your chin without much tenderness. “i can see it in your eyes, that fucking desire” he spat the last words letting go of your face.

“There is nothing to deny. I have my reason to not want anything to do with you”

Gojo smirks got even wider as he said, leaning closer to you, his voice lower and seductively in your ear. “I do love a challenge, I'll make you surrender to me. I know you want me just as much as I want you.”

“Want me?” you lower your voice to match his. “I thought we shared the same hatred, why this neediness all of a sudden?” a mocking tone leaving your lips.

Gojo doesn't say anything for a moment, his eyes burning holes in your face. You see a hint of vulnerability in him quickly dismissed by his natural arrogance. 

“Neediness? I think you misunderstood. I simply want what is mine.” you raise an eyebrow at him. “The difference between us is that I don't deny that I want you.”

“Is that all you want from me?” you try to contain yourself, but the words escape faster than your conscience. 

“No. I want so much more. I want all of you. your mind, your body, your soul. I want to possess you.” Gojo leans over to get on top of you, leaving you nowhere to go, and nowhere to look besides his gorgeous face. “ I want to know you better, your likes and dislikes, your dreams and how I can help to fulfill them. I need you not just carnally but-” 

before he can finish you crash your lips together, if it's in a way to shut him up or feel him.

He returned the kiss as eager as you, until you separated your lips, returning to your initial position with your back to him.

“What? What are you doing?”He asked, genuinely surprised.

“Preparing myself to sleep you should do that too.” you said, trying to suppress a smile as you hid your face on the pillow. 

“I can't sleep now with the tent set up!”

“You can always use your hand. Good night.” you finally closed your eyes hoping the sleep would come faster despite the stir of feelings inside you.

You felt Gojo adjusting himself on the bed, despite his frustration you couldn't help but let your lips form a smile. You wouldn’t give yourself so easily, no matter how much you wanted, and you wanted so much you could feel it in your stomach, that pit turning and aching to be wrapped around him. You still hated him… maybe… maybe it was just indifference now, right? Otherwise why would you want him so badly inside you like you do? Maybe it’s just the heat of the moment that just happened. Or maybe it’s his shirtless frame lying beside you… his toned back so perfectly you could see his muscles, his shoulders so broad that it made you feel a tingle… 

You shake the thoughts away, blinking and sighing, focusing to clear your mind and finally sleep. But you couldn’t, you just couldn’t stop to imagine how he looked without his pants… and without his boxers too. 

You groan in frustration and turn around in bed, pressing the pillow hardly against your head. 

“What now?” He mutters beside you, still in his position with his back to you.

“Nothing. Go to sleep.” 

He huffs and closes his eyes again, frustrated with you. His hardness hadn’t diminished yet, and he was still hurting hot and fighting the urges to just flip you and enter your wetness. But he fought the horniness on his mind, instead thinking of thoughts of his father that made his skin crawl and his organs twist in disgust, just so he could sleep peacefully and without a boner staining his pants. But then he hears you sigh and turn on you back again, and the soft sound leaving your lips only makes his hardness increase. 

“Can’t you stay quiet? Sleep in silence? huh?” He mutters frustrated, more with himself than with you. 

You huff again and press your legs tighter together, trying to stop the wetness on your panties. You look at him and lean to support your body weight with your elbow.

He senses you moving again, and gives you a side eye.

“What’s your problem now?” You ask, sensing his frustration and impatience.

“You.”

“Me? What did I do now?” You feel your own frustration rising.

“You can’t stop moving, and leaving soft sounds in your mouth, it’s driving me insane!” 

You just look at him with parted lips, all you want now is to sit on his lap and ride him until your lungs and legs break. But instead you sit straight and run your palm over your face. You’re frustrated with yourself and the feelings swirling inside you. You never had felt like this to anyone else, and why did you have to feel like this for him? 

You look sheepishly to him, admiring his strong arms and cursing yourself for it. You reach a hand to his arm and caress it softly. You feel him tense and look at you with wide eyes, and you realize what you just did. You retrieve your hand from him and mutter an apology but before you can but you hand back in your laps he takes it, and places it on his arm again. 

“Keep doing that.” he mutters and closes his eyes.

So you keep rubbing his arm while you make yourself comfortable in bed again. The soothing of his skin makes your fire rise even further, but you try to brush it away. It’s too early to give in. And besides, you wouldn’t be the first to give in to these feelings. 

You keep rubbing his arms soothingly and close your eyes, your face almost completely pressed against his toned back, your hot breathing warming his skin. And you swear you could stay like this forever, just pressed against his back and feeling his warmth, you hated the fact that you wanted him, and hated the fact that you hated it. You sigh and close your eyes again, you know that you won’t be able to push the thoughts away, that you can’t keep pretending to hate him forever, but still… you still have to keep the facade, you won’t give in to lust just yet.

[remcycl333]

your desire is a gift of god 🍁

I was reading “at your command” by neville goddard the other morning, and there was something he was talking about that I really loved. he reminds us that everything you desire, you desire because it’s meant to be yours. you wouldn’t desire something that u couldn’t or shouldn’t have, and when u desire something, it is the gift of god.

here is a part from "at your command" i really loved:

"don't be anxious or concerned as to results. they will follow just as surely as day follows night. look upon your desires--all of them--as the spoken words of God, and every word or desire a promise. the reason most of us fail to realize our desires is because we are constantly conditioning them. do not condition your desire. just accept as it comes to you. give thanks for it to the point that you are grateful for having already received it--then go about your way in peace." -Neville Goddard

whenever you think throughout the day “ugh i want *my desire*” (or something of the sort), don’t get upset or anxious bc you’re in the state of lack or “u messed everything up” etc. the past few days since ive read this, any time I catch myself thinking from lack, I just go “omg thank uuuuu it’s mine yayyy”

like…you desire something bc it’s supposed to be YOURS. your godself is SHOWING YOU what can give you the feeling you desire. like when you desire the feeling of love, your godself will make you desire that specific person bc that’s what will give you the feeling you crave. Or maybe you desire the feeling of security, so your godself gives you the desire of money or being rich. etc!

so when u desire something, that is a GIFT! your godself is showing u the thing that u deserve—the thing that is RIGHTFULLY YOURS!!!! u do not desire something by accident. u desire it bc it’s supposed to be yours!!!

in our society we’ve been taught that we “can’t always get what we want” and “things won’t always go our way” etc but like….no!!!! God is not supposed to WANT for anything like wtf??? if god wants something it’s bc it’s rightfully theirs

when u create literally everything in your reality, there is absolutely nothing in your reality that u don’t deserve. oh so money only exists bc we’re conscious of it existing yet we don’t deserve it??? that big mansion only exists bc we assume it does yet we don’t deserve it??? NO!!!!! (not saying we deserve the bad things in our reality. we just deserve the things we DESIRE)

we’ve been conditioned by the people who haven’t been awoken to the law that life isn’t fair and we don’t deserve anything in this world, but that’s simply not true. we deserve everything we want, bc the only reason we want it—once again—is bc it’s supposed to be ours.

the reason i love this idea of saying “thank u” any time u think of wanting something is bc 1) it shifts u to wish fulfillment (saying thank u= u accept it as yours) and 2) youre accepting the gift of god!

like, wanting something isn’t bad. it’s THE GIFT OF GOD! you desire a certain feeling, and you give yourself the solution immediately. u feel lonely and want to feel—for lack of a better word—unlonely? here u go, u want a friend! on top of that, you want a GOOD friend, so here u go! u naturally desire what you’d consider a perfect friend maybe they’re loyal, the same age as you, live in your town, etc. you naturally desire all of these things without even trying!

I love this sm bc it’s kinda like, manifestation is already halfway done IMMEDIATELY! manifestation is started and completed in the 4d. u want a feeling….u give yourself the feeling. all done! yes ofc, as a side effect, it reflects in your 3D as well. but manifestation is completed before your desire even reflects in your outer-world.

the second u give yourself the feeling (give yourself your desire in the 4d) u successfully manifested it.

so if the steps are 1) desire a feeling and then 2) give yourself the feeling…by desiring something, your godself is showing u how to give yourself the feeling. for example, you want the feeling of being loved. so u naturally begin to desire being with a certain person. this is a gift! and you’re god, so it’s a gift you are giving yourself!

so you’re like, damn i want to feel loved…but how do I feel loved in my 4d??? BY GIVING YOURSELF YOUR DESIRE (your specific person) IN YOUR 4D!!!!! (for example)

u want a feeling, so your godself gives u a desire to show you how to feel it, and then u give it to urself in the 4d and feel the feeling, and then u manifest it INSTANTLY. slay! it’s that easy!!!! wanting things ISNT BAD!!!! it’s a TOOL!!!! a GIFT!!!!!

also like, if u notice u fell into a stack of lack and are thinking abt how badly u want your desire, DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP!!! u know why you’re thinking of how u want your desire?? bc ur godself is reminding u of how to give yourself the feeling baby say thanks!! & keep going

I think this is such a simple and comforting and exciting way to look at the law. like, wanting things isn’t bad and you only want something bc you’re SUPPOSED TO GET IT!! I hope this resonates with y’all!!! 🤍

(i wrote this two months ago at 3am and you can kinda tell lol but i love this post so! here it is in all it's glory :) adapted from my twitter thread)