#that's my ideal ending. let him see the consequences of his actions and work with daigo to better yakuza relations w civilians

[datastate]

miné isn't my 'favorite' character by any means, but i do genuinely believe there was so much more that could've been done with his character/dynamic with daigo that would've been interesting to see progress in future games. it's a damn shame they wasted it here.

[writingmeraki]

blood red strings.

a lee heeseung drabble !

genre : angst, action!au , spy!au, soulmate!au.

pairing : lee heeseung x gn!reader, enemies to ?, secret pining.

warnings : descriptions of blood, weapons, injuries, bruises, death, murder. cussing ( I think that's about it ) not proofread/edited.

author's note : idk. thas the only explanation I have for this. :D it was supposed to be short but oh well. oh fucking well. enjoy and let me know what you think !! Inspired by a pic I saw of two people point a gun at each other and a red string being formed ( I can't find it :< ) also my ENHYPEN DEBUT!! WOO FINALLY!!! I imagined Heeseung in this and I just went along with the flow because I legit could not get spy!hee out of my brain...... maybe I do love this more than I should and maybe I might end up making this a full fic ha. oh welp enjoy 😆😆😆😆😆 also other works will be uploaded soon ( the ones I've promised I know you have been waiting for a while 😭 ) edit : THE TYPOS ESP THE FUCKUNG ONE I WANT TO KAY EM ES.

word count : 2.3K

You felt it before you could see it.

The pain shot up your entire body, alarming your brain before you could see what caused it. Otherwise you would have even been able to dodge the cause.

Said cause smirked at you, as much as you'd rather burn yourself than to ever admit it, he looked annoyingly handsome, despite his own condition not being better than yours.

A cool breeze passed through the late night, typically a time when everyone would be sleeping peacefully in their beds, you'd like to think you would be too but you knew that wishing a peaceful night's sleep was as good as thinking a bullet shot would not hurt.

Both are far too different from how reality was.

Your knuckles ached, torn and ripped skin bleeding out. The right side of your face hurt, being punched twice was probably the reason. Your stomach hurt too, having been thrown against the concrete floor of the terrace not an ideal place to land was probably it.

Lucky for you, the adrenaline flowing through you, made it feel as though none of the aches actually affected you. Sort of distracting you from even thinking about how much it actually hurts.

Dodging another punch, you swiftly kicked Heeseung's leg, making him lose control himself for a moment, a moment you knew to never miss and you turned around hurdling another kick at his side.

His groans of pain indicated the impact of your blows as it was now your turn to be smug with him as you smiled in satisfaction.

"Aww did that hurt you?" Crossing your arms at him, as he laid on the ground for the briefest of moments, jaw clenching and shutting his eyes to take a deep breath, irritation growing within him when he heard your taunting.

Standing up while trying not to fall down again, his back now faced you.

Clicking his tongue, you couldn't see the anger in his eyes. He had enough.

"Let's just put an end to this pathetic game. It's getting tiring and frankly I have better things to do."

He didn't want to get into what he was actually sent there to do. He knew he would have do to it, but somehow, he wanted to stall it as much as he could.

And now this was the consequence of the stalling, his own state being terrible.

Scoffing at him, you raised an eyebrow,

"As if I have time to waste on you." You spat, venom laced words at him as you scanned his back, more than you should as you took in how broad his shoulders were from the way the black suit blazer stretched across them.

Without wasting a moment, Heeseung grabbed his gun from the holster that was under his shirt. Pulling it out, he swiftly turned around, now facing you.

"Well then, you won't have any time at all it seems." He pointed it at you, raising his own battered hand, his bloody thumb clicking the revolver to load it.

Smirking more widely at his actions, while pulling out your own revolver from your holster under your now maroon shirt, you pointed it at him.

Standing in mirroring positions, guns to your heads, you stared at him directly in the eye.

“It also seems like your time is over, sad how you’d die from the bullet of your worst enemy.”

You found amusement in your statement as your grin shifted to more of a mocking one.

“Darling we’d be dying together, far too romantic don’t you think?” His low voice rang in your ears, glaring at him and you’d excuse the warmth rushing to your cheeks from the mere nickname even though he’d called you way too many over the years of your rivalry as just blood rushing to your head.

Your gaze shifted to the clock tower behind him, the golden roman numerals glinting from the city light, reading the time to have been two minutes to twelve.

Two minutes to your twenty-fifth birthday.

Snorting at the irony of it, you shook your head. You might as well count it as your deathday considering, surely you wouldn’t be spared after this. You both waited for this for too long, having spent almost three years at each other’s throats and you’d be damned if you would let him escape alive as well. One thing you were sure about was you definitely won’t be spared as well.

It was always an eye for an eye and a bullet for a bullet. A death for a death.

It would be exactly twenty five years of your existence if you died today. Not a day more not a day less, a perfect twenty five and in a sickening way you always loved perfect things and this coincidence was no different.

“It would be devastating for you to die before you even meet your poor soulmate.” He grinned at you with a malicious glint and you felt your heart slightly drop at this forgotten reality.

A soulmate you’d never meet. A soulmate whose heart would feel like it would be ripped out before even meeting you. A soulmate who would feel the same thing your mother did when your father was brutally murdered. A soulmate who might spiral into a depression which could even lead into their own death. Just like your own mother.

No. No you couldn't think of this. You couldn't step back from something you'd been trained to do a decade ago. You couldn't. Not for something you found was more of a burden from universe rather than something special like most.

"Lee, if you know me well enough. You know that I don't fucking believe in this shit." You hissed at him biting your tongue, a tendency you did when you lied.

A lie because you did believe they existed, you saw it yourself but the reason it was a burden was because it didn't automatically mean a happy ending, you experienced it, you lived through that alternate ending and saw the toll of it on someone who was supposed to be the most precious person in your life.

"Ah ah ah don't lie now Y/N. You and I both know your pathetic self believes in all of that universally bonded shit." He shifted from holding the gun to his right hand, stepping closer to you and the grip on yours tightened.

"You're saying as though yours will see you alive." You could feel the side of your head aching, a trail of blood dripping all the way to your chin. A drop landing on your new tie dye maroon shirt splattered in dark and light hints of the same.

"I'd rather die while killing you than care about that nonsense. You see, unlike you, I know I'd never have a soulmate." The taunting smirk on his face slightly dimmed because even though Lee Heeseung was true to his words, a small part of his heart was still saddened at the thought of not meeting his supposed other half when he was supposed to.

He recalled his birthday, just a few months from yours, waiting to see if it was finally the year where the universe gave him the supposed greatest gift possible, his other half but no red string of fate showed up on his pinky and he smacked the shit out of Jake when his friend tried to comfort him that maybe his soulmate had also not yet turned twenty five.

Yet. Yet he threw those thoughts out of his mind when he realized what would be the end result of tonight. The end result leading to his own…end.

The loud ticking off the clock grew louder as it neared the twelve mark, indicating a new day, indicating your day.

You deeply inhaled, smiling at your nemesis, taking in the details of his face because well it was the last time you'd ever see him…or anyone probably.

"And oh! How could I forget? It's your birthday isn't it? Here's my little present then."

The clock chimed loudly, the vibrations running through you from the closeness and you tried not to wince from the loudness.

"Happy birthday Love."

Before you could respond to him ;

You saw it before you could feel it.

A dark red thread, looping itself around the pinky of your hand and your eyes widened, no words being able to form from your gaping mouth.

Now you felt the tightening of it. The red string harshly tugged at your pinky as it stretched outwards. It wasn't the only thing that felt suffocating because your throat felt like it closed up as you breathed out heavily.

A loud shot rang in your ears back, your focus still trained on the thread extending itself until it didn't.

It stopped.

Right in front of him.

It stopped in front of Lee fucking Heeseung.

He was frozen, ironically mirroring the same position as you once again but the only difference was the trigger on his gun was pushed backwards.

His eyes followed the movement of the string, pausing and holding his breath as it began to move.

It moved and moved and moved until.

Until it wrapped itself around his wrist.

And then he moved. The gun in his hand fell to the ground as he felt the dark red string tighten on his wrist.

You screamed out in pain before you could even comprehend what happened. Only now feeling the shot to your chest. The gun in your hand slipping from your grasp to the ground.

In your own stupor you didn't even realise you'd launched a few steps backwards, an impact caused by the bullet shot, now dropping to your knees as you put your hand to your chest.

Now it was his turn to feel it before he could see it, see you.

Heeseung felt it before he saw you, grabbing his own chest, feeling as though someone ripped his heart out.

"No…no, this…this can't be happening!" He coughed out as he tried to ease the pain in his chest, tears welling up in his eyes.

You sobbed out pathetically as you tried to put pressure on your chest to stop the bleeding.

Heeseung's gaze turned towards you and before he knew it, he gave into the string pulling him towards you as he rushed to you, dropping on his knees when he reached you.

"You…could have waited for one fucking minute you-" You spat out as you shut your eyes, not being able to even sit up straight, letting yourself fall forward.

A few minutes ago, he would have rejoiced at your state but now…in the matter of one sick twisted cosmic joke, he felt like his heart was being gutted while he held you in his arms.

"I…didn't. I didn't know I just…I didn't even think it could ever be…you." He didn't know what to do as he tried to think of something to do, what he could possibly do.

It wasn't like he was any better, he could feel the pain you were feeling only yours was actually there while his was more due to your freshly fated bond.

He laid you down on his lap, pulling off his blazer, bunching it up and pressing it to your chest.

You laughed humorlessly at his words, "Well it wasn't like I was expecting my soulmate to be you."

You let the tears flow as you looked up at him, pressing your hands on his own. The sparks flowing through you like an electric shock and for a moment right there, you could see why they described holding hands with your soulmates was exactly how you felt. An electric spark.

"Maybe this was how it's meant to be. For me to die, ultimately in your arms, my best enemy and my…only soulmate." You smiled at him, your tears glistening your cheeks. The most devastating part being your smile was a genuine one from the sincerity in your eyes.

He let out the whimper he'd been holding back, his own tears mixing with the blood on his face, and oh, he looked like a messy art piece, one that was only meant for you to look at in your final moments.

"No, I…please don't. It hurts, I can't…" His words came out in broken whispers, contrasting his past self who promised he'd rather jump into a lake full of sharks than to ever beg you.

"Didn't you say it would be romantic if we died together? Well then, Romeo and Juliet be damned." You jocked around, coughing as you learnt that trying to laugh when you have a bullet in your chest wasn't the most ideal.

Heeseung glared at you as he clenched his molars in anger, cursing at himself.

He wished and oh he fucking wished he waited one minute. Maybe then, maybe then he'd be able to change his perspective on you. A perspective that was already there, buried deep in the lockers of his mind, in folders of memories he had with you, how he saw you, how he thought of you.

A perspective he longed to think of since he met you but alas reality was far too different.

"And I never said thank you for you gift did I?" You grinned widely at him,

"Don't…just no." He whispered in such a soft tone that you were probably hearing for the first time in your life.

"Thank you Heeseung." You could feel the weight of the world in your eyes, moments of your entire twenty five years flashing like a film, some the happiest and some the most tragic ones.

It proved to you a question you'd asked yourself when you were 14, whether indeed a person's entire life flashes when they die. And now you got your answer first hand, nearly a decade later.

"And oh…fuck you." You whispered out as you felt lighter than ever and then, it was all over.

Over for you. Over for him.

A soulmate who he never thought existed, taken from him cruelly before he could even see the string turn a brighter shade of red, a shade that indicated true love.

A soulmate who he himself ended.

Indeed. What a devastating reality.

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

writingmeraki Ⓒ 2023

links ! : main navigation | enhypen masterlist

[foefire-flame]

Ive got some lore to share! Its so interesting seeing your lil guy dating rytlock where my commanders relationship went up in smoke with him lol. Where there any rough or rocky times during their relationship?

Oh yeah! You can expect to see that once ai get to PoF into ls4 where Leo kinda Explodes at Rytlock after the whole "Ermmm I accidentally kinda freed balthazar...my b" revelation. Even Outside of even the entire conflict it started, the fact that Leo watched the commander have to cheat death (something he is very rigid about) angered him even moreso. And even though they never necessarily """broke up""" since the charr view on loyalty is so strong, it was more of Leo not even caring to finalize that bc he just didnt even want to deal with him at that point bc he was so angry at being witheld information to continously + the consequences of Rytlock's actions. Which is funny bc the commander also explodes at him (valid) so both her and Leo really dig into him because of that.

Their relationship is pretty strained up until before the beginning of ibs where they reconcile but its also not what I would describe as a perfect situation. Ive talked about how I view them as being linked by a forged red chain than a red string. They created that loyalty to each other and bc Loyalty is so deeply ingrained into them both it was hard for Leo to let go completely. Not only this, Leo sees rytlock as his only route of "normalcy" in charr society, having a long-term partner. Its kinda the biggest and at a certain point the only reason he doesnt break it off entirely. Leo already battles with just an inherent sadness of not getting to live a peaceful life like he would want with the olmakhan due to his dream of changing the legions for the better,

I have this from a prev ramble post

I think Rytlock also views Leo as like? His last chance to do right by something? He failed with Destiny's edge, he failed with crecia, Leo was like the last good thing he could try to turn around. And to be fair, it wouldn'tve worked if Leo also just the person that he is, if he wasnt just as stubborn.

On Leo's side, a relationship with Rytlock is one of the only shards of "Normalcy" Leo has. Charr don't usually form long-term relationships, if they ended things, its unlikely Leo would find it anywhere else, not with being as busy as he is and not after all he's been through, certainly not within the Blood Legion. The chance to find someone who has been there since the "beginning" of everything is nonexistant. Without that, the tiniest piece of a life he actually wants is gone. Especially bc even if they Did end things they would still be friends.

So they do end up sticking together, its just not pretty or necessarily For The Right Reasons. I've always said that after they reconcile (Leo thinks hes going to die at the end of ls4 for reasons, which is why he reaches back out to him) before ibs, theres a sort of gentleness they treat each other with thats just bc of the reality of their Not Ideal But We Are Trying To Make It Work.

I know theres a fic I wrote where theyre musing on the nature of their relationship and Rytlock says something along the lines of "I cannot give you the life you actually want" and All Leo can respond with is a quiet acceptance of "I know."

In my eyes they pretty much are having to build their relationship back up after what happened in pof bc theres just, no way two people in a relationship can have such a huge breach of trust and not come out changed. So they do Have to start a "new" relationship after that, is how I see it.

[nekoro-san]

About Yuri in episode 28

(The episode is already aired so it’s not spoiler guess)

This is a review for today episode because it will Yuri centric and how he’s working in SSS. I have seen lot of negative reviews of this manga chapter 41 but then this is one a few of my chapter and I want to point a few positive and a few of my favorite moments, like this

When Franklin talked to his sick father about their poverty and have no medical to save his mother death. Yuri expression showing emotionless in that panel when he heard their struggles. In my theory , it could be a hint of Briars mother has the same path, to died of poverty and sickness. And Yuri might felt empty after that happens. So might be it’s showing Yuri does felt empathy to Franklin in that moment.

I do remember when Yuri tutor Anya, he also said that he also wants to study about medicine to cure his sister when she was sick. And in lightnovel, he wants Anya to choose the job that can make money so that she would not end up poverty like him and Yor did.

Go back to Frank, I think there is an interesting part after Yuri heard that line of Franklin and his father advise him to change his job for a better life, Franklin refused because to have this job can earn more better money.

In later page, based on Yuri eyes, I do think that he really wants Franklin to change his ideal after his father words, but Franklin still send the reports, to earn the dirty money he wants. For me, like most plot convience , I do want Yuri came out and said how disappointed of him to disobey his dad words and let Franklin change his mind. But Yuri didn’t.

I think there is reason why.In early page, Yuri already act without action, to almost killed him because of the words when Franklin said to the kids about the sss, Yuri’s boss claim him down and told him to wait for “evidences”. That’s why Yuri follow his boss order to do it. Tbh if he didn’t disobey his boss, this sence will be different, but then this is a part of his character development in future. And to show the way the sss shut out their dark secrets 🤷‍♀️ ( of course for a youngster like Yuri, he doesn’t aware of this but to be obedient as a lapdog and how sss control his strength to promote and overworked him)

But what I really love is, Yuri is still Yuri. Despite he doesn’t like Franklin actions, but that didn’t mean he didn’t felt sympathy to his circumstances. He can and still disobey orders, just in his own way. And it’s prove from the moment Yuri said that he will support the financial to Frank’s father. That’s the 1st time the series show Yuri has empathy to Franklin because he also does same thing, to do dirty works for the sake of family. Yuri doesn’t need to do it, but he still do anyway.

This chapter and the moment he felt emotionless ( remind me of Loid expression) make me shed a tear. He’s a good kid. His moral has been messed up and brainwashed, but he does try to do right thing ( even it’s morally confused).

What bother me that I hope to see what’s his interaction with different targets. I always want to see a side story of Yuri meeting Franklin dad and maybe they are sharing the about their past and struggles. This could be a good character development for him because he does showing sympathy to others, whenever it’s family matter. However the story always implies sss being an antagonist side and how brainwashed they would be so it could be never happen.

For me. I do hope in the future chapter, there would be a big consequences of sss that Yuri had to face and he may choose the option to know there would be better way to give his sister a peaceful life.

*Future arc spoilers* Hence, I always to see one of Yuri future colleagues,Chloe, might change his decision on his life. I like Yuri boss but so far he only care about Yuri for his sss job more than to let Yuri disobey his orders ( and his boss starts to notice Yuri didn’t obey his orders at all, especially in bus jacking arc) . In mole arc, Chloe knows that Yuri didn’t obey orders but she seems to care about Yuri reckless condition more than her own mission, which I found adorable. Interacting more with Chloe may let Yuri realize there is someone better to protect, someone that didn’t care for his mission but care for him well being truly. But that is my two cents as if the author want to or not. 🤷‍♀️

[cute-bag-of-bones]

Can't Trust A Supe

Part 2: Ma Petite Poulette

Part 1

Warnings: violence, implied death, swearing.

      The local library wasn't the ideal place to read a top secret file like this but it was the best I could do on short notice. At least it would be quiet.

       The papers inside were both typed and some were hand written. I could recognize my mom's curvy and heavy handed handwriting anywhere. The notes had to be written by her. I found my mom's resignation letter to vaught. She sighted wanting to start a family as the reason for the departure. There was also a copy of a legal document that was asking for my mother to return any stolen property she had taken with her. I read further and from what I can guess Vaught thought she stole some kind of serum. The document never specified the name.  

      There was also documentation of her and Homelander's relationship. The fact Vaught kept track of something like that really cemented to me how creepy Vaught is. They even noted how erratic Homelander became when she ended the relationship. 

     My chest tightened up as I read lower. It mentioned the incident at my family's compound. In this file they claim Homelander had gotten some intel that my father and his cult was planning a mass suicide. When Homelander came to stop them my father detonated the bombs killing everyone there instantly. 

      My hand balled into a fist as I looked up from the papers. Bank holidays and annual parades all spawned because of Vaught's lies. Children wear masks of my fathers face and throw candy bombs at each other. The last name Bishop became so unpopular that residents of New York City changed their names to avoid association. Even I had to take on an alias just to live my life in peace. All because a woman broke up with a man. I needed to calm down, I could see right through the librarian who was starting to notice the glowing blue light coming from my eyes. 

      I closed the file and looked at the number written on the front. Billy Butcher's Mary band of idiots, could they really kill Homelander? Could they do it without getting killed themselves? 

      I knew I would regret it but I had to be there when Homelander died. Even if I can just make him bleed. That will be enough, enough to show him his actions have consequences. No one is above revenge and at some point everyone's ticket will be punched, even his.

     Before I could think about how big of a mistake this was I called (uncle) Billy. He gave me an address to go to and hung up. I wasn't surprised when the address in question was another ran down building. I was surprised when he let me in and I saw a small woman curled up on the sofa and a large black man sitting at a table. Maybe he knew what he was doing. It had been less then a week and he had already conned two more suckered into helping him. 

     "You got more help?"

     "Oh yeah this is Mother's Milk and um oi Frenchie what are we calling her?" He said pointing to the wild looking girl. 

      "We are still working on that part. Hello ma petite poulette. Good to see you came around." Frenchie said with a wave. I'd have to Google what the hell he just called me. Hughie looked less sick this time which I guess was a good sign. 

      "Right, well I changed my mind. I want to help." I say walking in. The girl moved from the sofa and closer to frenchie. She looked at me like she was sizing me up. It made me uneasy but they seemed to trust her. 

      I got the rundown on the plan and all that had happened, it was half baked at best but it was better than nothing.

     "Wait, she crushed the guy's head? With her what?" I guess there are worse ways to go.

      "It was bad." M.M adds as he helps Frenchie put together some guns. 

      This group looked disorganized from the outside looking In but the more time I spent with them the more I realized they had some kind of system. A rhythm of some kind they all understood. It is taking me a few days to fall into it. I wasn't sure where I fit in yet. I know Billy is the ringleader. He sets it all up. Frenchie and M.M make it happen for him. Frenchie normally supplied the tools of the trade, M.M had the skills and cool head. The Female was easy enough to figure out. She is a Beast, a force of nature, in the best possible way. It was sickeningly beautiful how quickly she could tear through a guy. 

         Hughie was the last I figured out but he's the moral compass and he is pretty good for morale to because picking on him is fun. But he's the heart of this outfit without a doubt. 

         Today Billy had something for me to do. He needed a key card from this security guard at a desk of a medical research center or something. It needed to be clean. Frenchie and I were sent in. It was meant to be Hughie and I but he had a bad cheese dog and couldn't leave the bathroom so we improvised.

        It was 11 pm and pouring rain when I walked up to the glass door. I had to get close enough to him to ensure he would survive the encounter. I had been practicing with rats at the hideout and felt confident I could do this on a human. I just needed to close the distance before he got suspicious. I tapped on the glass and held my hands out in a prying motion. 

        "Please I need help!" I yell past the glass. I needed him to unlock the door. I knew I looked very unintimidating. At least to most men. A 5'5 blonde girl didn't scream danger to most people. He got up and sighed as he walked over to the door. 

        "I'm sorry ma'am the lab is closed." He shouted back through the glass.

        "No wait I'm sorry, I'm super lost downtown and my phone died. Can I use a phone? I need to call my mom." The whole time I was looking inside him. Scanning making sure I could do this clean. He hesitated for a moment before finally opening the door to me. 

       "Just be quick please." He said as he showed me to the phone at the front desk. He stood next to me and waited for me to make my call. So I did, I called Frenchie's burner to let him know I was in and that he should head this way. The phone rang and just as planned he didn't answer. I looked up at the man and began my real part of the plan. I start by lowering his blood pressure. He begins to sweat. It was a delicate balancing act between being quick enough he doesn't get suspicious and being careful enough not to kill him. He grabs the corner of the desk and I take the change to put the phone down and help him into his seat. 

       "Are you alright?" I ask as I continue my attack. He tries to grab the phone, likely thinking he was having some kind of stroke. I make his eyes close and apply the lightest amount of pressure to his carotid arteries trying to slow oxygen getting to the brain. Soon his own brain does the rest as he slips into sleep. I run and open the door for Frenchie who comes sprinting in. 

       "What did you do to him?" 

       "He's just sleeping. Go do what you have to. I have to stay down here to make sure he doesn't wake up." He nods and grabs the guards key card and takes an elevator up. The cameras had already been taken care of so my only worry was keeping this guy out cold. I let up on his carotid arteries, scared the limited amount of oxygen to the brain would leave him with lasting effects. He stirred slightly but still seemed to be asleep in his chair. Soon Frenchie came running down with some files and a flash drive.

       "Help me grab him." He said as he tried to lift the security guard from his chair. 

      "What why?"

      "I might have made a small mistake and caught the lab on fire. Just grab his legs for me, ma petite poulette." Frenchie pleaded as he tried to drag the larger man. I hurried and grabbed his ankles and laid him on the sidewalk as the van pulled up. The cold rain and movement was enough to make him come too. He started to open his eyes as the van doors closed with Frenchie and I safely inside. It was a rush, we were greeted with a very happy M.M who pulled me into the tightest hug I had even received.

       "You did it kid! That was great!" He said letting me go. Even Billy was smiling and for once it wasn't for something bad. 

          I was walking back to the shelter that night when some asshole came up from behind me and grabbed my backpack. It ripped and all my stuff fell on the wet ground. Books, wallet, snacks and my ancient Homelander plush. The mugger tried to grab my wallet but before he could a red gloved hand grabbed him by his head and flung him into the air. I screamed in surprise and fell on my butt. Every hair on my body stood on end as I looked up and saw Homelander himself in front of me. I had thought for so long what I would do when presented with this opportunity. Here he was right in front of me and I was so scared I couldn't even move. 

      "Oh we got an old fan." He says as he bends down and picks up the old Homelander toy. "One of the first series. Very rare, if you want I'll sign it for you sweetheart." He says with a grin that makes me sick to my stomach. 

      "N-no thank y-you." I say as I pick up my torn bag and start to put stuff back into it. He just stood there looking at the toy.

      "Where did you get this, I don't think it ever went to stores. Marketing thought the smile was too wide on it and that it would creep out kids." He said with a laugh. 

       "I don't remember." I say quickly I couldn't exactly say my mom you dated gave it to me. I stand up and hold my bag opened for him to drop it in. He stared at me for a second as his grin left his face. 

     "You know you look so familiar. Did you go to the fan signing in Central Park?" He asked as he put the plush back in my bag. I never looked him in the eyes. I couldn't every time I saw his photo on billboards all I could see was his glowing red eyes. I looked down at the ground.

      "Um yeah yeah I was. It was great meeting you. I have to go through." I say quickly as I run across to the other side of the road. I didn't look back as I speed walked away. 

       "Wait one minute." He said in a commanding voice. I froze solid right in my spot. He walked in front of me and held up my wallet. I must have missed it on the ground.

      "Oh thank you so much. It was great meeting you but I have classes tomorrow. " I say as I take it back from him I lie for my life.

     "Yes of course school is very important, you have a safe night." He says before he jumps into the air. I had never ran so fast in my life.

      In bed that night I was beating myself up. He was right there why couldn't I just do it. It would have been perfect. No one around, just him and I. I could have ended it then and there. I hated myself for being too pathetic to do what I knew was right. Finally I let myself fall asleep. All night I was haunted by his red eyes and the sounds of rubble falling.

      The next day I got a new bag and had my lunch under a tree in the park when I heard a familiar voice behind me. 

      "How's the sandwich?" I jumped and looked around as Homelander floated down onto view. A bit of sandwich wedged itself in my throat. I started to cough and hack before finally it flew out. Homelander made a disgusted face but then smiled down at me. A crowd park might have been safer for me but it made me more nervous. Seeing him in person in broad daylight is somehow more terrifying than you could ever imagine.

I think I have it all figured out I'm going to be posting every other day and on the off days I'll be posting a Batfam fanfic on another Tumblr if that interests you at all here's that link feel free to stop by.

[freewayshark]

Hi I would like to know more about your 911 Barbour thinking thoughts and ideas :3

Hi!!!!!!!!

So, I’m kind of turning all of this over with the idea of maaaaaybe writing a fic but let’s be real. I probably won’t. But, a cut for length

My vision is that at the end of this season we get Eddie breaking up with Marisol and some sort of confirmation to the audience that he has feelings for Buck, has probably known about them for a long time but pushed them down, but now he just can’t anymore. But, because of this recent episode uncapping the well on his Catholic guilt, he decides that he has to sort out a lot more stuff for himself before he could be a good partner for Buck. Maybe Marisol makes a dig about him being a bad boyfriend or something? I don’t know, I just know he’s going to be in a place mentally where he thinks if he tried to be with Buck now—if Buck would even want him back—that he would ruin it.

So we end the season with us the audience knowing where Eddie stands, but Buck does not. The season ends for him with him still together with Tommy and being happy to embark on a new relationship.

Now, season 8 starts, and they’re still together, still happy. We see Eddie working on himself, we see him in therapy, we see him tackling his religion and the way he feels about it and who he is. Ideally, we would finally get some kind of reckoning with Helena.

He’s also still friends with Tommy. And so I think we have this subtle story as well where he and Tommy have actually become very close friends. Maybe Tommy talks about what it was like to be closeted so long with him. I’m undecided if I think Eddie would open up about himself, just because I feel like he thinks if he did he would be so transparent about the person that has finally broken through all his walls to make him want to look at this part of himself and, well. That person is Tommy’s boyfriend. Who Tommy is in love with and who Eddie is beginning to fear loves Tommy back

Because they’ve spent this whole half a season developing a really good, happy relationship. Maybe around midseason finale time they start to talk about the possibility of moving in together. Maybe they’ve dropped the L word.

Midseason finale rolls around. Eddie’s spent the whole season getting right with himself, and comes out to Buck. But only about being queer, because he sees how happy Buck is, how happy Tommy is even! And who is he to tear that apart? But we the audience are left with the impression that Buck is unsettled by this in a way that will be clear to us is because he’s starting to question if what he’s always felt for Eddie is more than what he’d always thought

First or maybe second episode back we get some kind of small disaster that ends in Buck and Eddie being trapped and injured together somewhere they truly believe they have no hope of being rescued from. Think the well, but even more dire, somehow.

And Eddie, even though he’s sworn to himself that he was going to try to get over Buck, is now faced with both going to his grave never having told Buck how he feels, and letting Buck die never knowing that Eddie loves him so much.

And it won’t matter, right? They’re going to die here. You don’t have to be worried about the consequences of your actions when you won’t be alive for them, right?

So he tells Buck he’s in love with him. He tells him he’s been in love with him for years, that he’d lain in the street bleeding out reaching for Buck because he had always been reaching for him and will always be reaching for him.

And Buck’s sobbing, and angry. He’s so so angry. He wants to know why Eddie couldn’t have done this before they’re dying, done this before he has a boyfriend that he’s in love with. Because of fucking course he’s in love with Eddie. He thinks he’s loved him from the moment he set eyes on him and only loved him more every time since so why couldn’t he have done this when it wasn’t too fucking late

And then, before they can really reckon with this knowledge that they’re in love and it doesn’t matter because they’re going to die down here anyway. The impossible happens. They’re rescued. They’re going to survive

But it doesn’t change that Eddie’s too late. It doesn’t change that Buck genuinely loves Tommy, that they’re together, that they’ve been looking at houses

Except that, of course it does. Because Buck loves Tommy but he breathes Eddie

Breaking up with Tommy is probably the worst thing Buck’s ever done. It breaks his heart to do it, but it breaks Tommy’s worse. Tommy tells him he had a plan. Once they’d picked a place, on their first night there he was going to ask Buck to marry him.

Buck cries because there’s this beautiful wonderful man that wanted to give him everything he’s ever wanted, but he’s not Eddie. Buck tells Tommy through his tears that he wishes he’d met him first, before Eddie had grown up inside him like a vine, impossible to remove without tearing out everything else.

Tommy leaves. Buck tells Eddie he needs a little time. That he loves him but he can’t be with Eddie while he can still smell Tommy’s scent in every inch of his apartment. Eddie understands, and the next few episodes just have little moments where Buck takes some time, but then you can see them slowly circling closer until the season finale, when Buck kisses him

Then: 911 Harbour announcement. Lou Ferrigno Jr led spinoff. For me, I would like to see the show starting with Tommy being promoted to captain. We know Lucy moved to air support for more chances at advancement, maybe that’s a goal he wants too and he’s old enough for it. We know he’s jealous of the family that is the 118, so maybe there’s been some shakeups, and so some of his team are people he’s worked with for a while, but he also gets to bring in some new faces. Throughout the first season they form their own found family

I know Arielle has that surf rescue show coming this fall, but for my fun here, who cares? So she’s one of the leads as well, because I would love more Lucy, frankly, but I also think two familiar faces would be good.

I think Tommy’s story would start out with him just being both a pathetic wet rag of a man after having his heart broken by Buck, while simultaneously deciding that if he’s going to be single yet again he’s going to fucking enjoy it, so it’s obvious what he really wants is a forever kind of love, but he insists it’s not

As for that love, hm. I’m waffling on whether I want him to meet someone quickly that maybe he has a bit of a Meredith/Derek sleeping together before the first day at work and oops that’s my coworker kind of thing or maybe actually he falls in love with a dispatcher, and they do kind of what they were doing a bit with Buck and Abby but actually drawn out for a good chunk of time where they don’t meet for a while? Lots of places they could go with that!

Anyway I think they could do two or three crossovers a season where air support comes in to help the 118 with bigger emergencies, but then a few smaller ones per season as well. At some point, maybe during 911 season 9 or 10 and therefore Harbour’s 1st or 2nd, there’s some kind of situation that pulls him back into Buck and Eddie’s orbit, and they can make amends with him.

Anyway those are my ideas. If you read to the end of this, uh. Hi. Sorry I’m sure you weren’t expecting, well, all that

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Ohhh heheheeeeeHEHEEHHEEEEE giggles and rubs my hands together evilly. so we’ve had cult leader!geto and you who’s mad at him… and we’ve also had you who’s slowly accepting loving him…. But what about cult leader!geto and reader that’s just. Moved on. Accepted it when he left because of the understanding that it’s just the way life goes. Doesn’t mean to say that you didn’t miss him, that you still don’t, it just means that you understand that there’s no point being angry about things you can’t change, so you let it go. Obviously, it’s sugu. There’s no replacing him. But you don’t try to replace him, you just carry on with life. You find other people who are special to you and you don’t try to fill the hole he left in your heart, you accept it, heal it, and work around it. He sees you again years later and he excepts you to be angry at him — wishes that you’d be angry at him — but you’re not, you just smile at him. There’s no anger in your eyes, no bared teeth or quips of bitterness, just a soft kind of understanding that you can forgive him and carry on with your life without allowing him back in. IM ACTUALLY GOING INSANE PLEASE…. It’s not quite you forgiving him and loving him, moreso just understanding and accepting that he was someone very special, but just not accepting him into your life again. He can’t exactly tame you because you’re not angry. There’s no storm to wait out, there’s no rage for him to soothe. Nonchalance and acceptance I think is the best way to combat him methinks… :333 OMGGG think of that beabadoobee song “the way things go” ohhhhh..

“Passed your house when I was on the train, in my mind you’ll always stay the same.” “And there’s so much left to say, I guess I’m just the bigger guy.” “A distant memory I used to know, oh I guess that’s just the way things go.” SCREAMS!!!! AUGGHHH IM SORRY THIS IS WAY TOO LONG BUT. AUGHH I could scream ab sugu forever…. <333 — stsg anon !!

STSG ANON i need you to know that this broke me. gutted me. i feel numb inside THIS IS SUCH A TASTY SCENARIO I’M SCREAMING

okay so. just putting this out there; i think this would break him. lmao. this is the cruelest thing you could do to him because it’ll hurt him like nothing else. and he deserves it!! this is the best possible scenario for you, but the worst for him. and that’s just….. soooo bittersweet.

He sees you again years later and he excepts you to be angry at him — wishes that you’d be angry at him — but you’re not, you just smile at him. There’s no anger in your eyes, no bared teeth or quips of bitterness, just a soft kind of understanding that you can forgive him and carry on with your life without allowing him back in.

goshhhh stsg anon…………. the way you wrote this…………. :(((( i’m in awe of you always. this made me so so emotional i’m just ……… hhhhhhh…… my heart is crumbling a tiny bit but i’m gonna try to be coherent…… T_T

i think geto would be happy for you. i think that despite his own feelings, he’d ultimately make the painful choice to respect your wishes and stay out of your life. it hurts him but there’s also this sense of inevitability — this is the natural consequence of his actions. he was a fool for expecting anything else, hoping for anything else. but a part of him always wished that you could be together again; and i think that wish hurts him more than anything.

geto really is just a lonely guy at the end of the day, and the thing about his ideal world is that it doesn’t even just boil down to a world without non-sorcerers — to geto, it boils down to a world where i don’t have to see my loved ones suffer. that’s what he wants more than anything!! and i think that even though he knows it’s unrealistic, even impossible, a part of him was always hoping that you’d wait for him to create that world for you. that you could one day go back to the way things were.

so meeting you again, and being forced to accept that it just won’t happen… that he’s just a person of your past and nothing else…. yeahhhh. it breaks him a little. then again, he always wished for your forgiveness; at least he has that. at least he knows you don’t hate him. there’s a kind of comfort in that, even though he probably would’ve preferred feelings of hatred to no feelings at all. :(

no but this is genuinely heartbreaking from geto’s pov and it’s even worse because you’re just doing what’s best for you!!! there’s no anger, no hard feelings, and it irks him because there’s nothing he can do!! you’re so right stsg anon!!! there’s no storm to wait out, there’s no rage for him to soothe….. there’s nothing he can do to change your mind. it just is what it is.

i also think this forces him into unveiling himself. this is just my own take but my interpretation of cult leader!geto is that he’s pretending to be something he’s not like . 80% of the time…. i think he copes by creating all these new personas, silly and overbearing and cruel, when deep down he’s still just sad and a little bit lost. a little lonely. it’s very telling that he felt the need to create a new family, because that’s just the kind of guy he is — he needs to have people around him to protect and cherish. very similar to gojo (stsg soulmatism strikes again)…. when he meets gojo in jjk 0 he feigns nonchalance, but later, when he’s watching the sunset and thinking about their history, he just looks sad. resigned. there’s a softness he’s trying to hide, but it never quite leaves him.

and i think that with you being so open, so sincere, he really wouldn’t have any choice but to meet that with a sincerity of his own. i can see him giving you one last sad smile, and honestly telling you that he’s happy for you. that he wishes you nothing but the best. and he truly means it. he wants you to be happy more than anything; it’s fine if he can’t be there to see it.

it’s a shame, but he’ll learn to live with it — for you.

so anyway this made me cry AND THEN YOU TOP IT OFF WITH BEABADOBEE????????? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME????????? THAT SONGGGGG STOP STOP PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 it’s so geto i’m abt to throw up blood

can’t remember how to say your name // let alone count all the freckles on your face // a distant memory i used to know // oh, i guess that's just the way things go // oh, i guess that's just the way things go

can’t remember when you said you called // miles away, and it was still my fault // the love you said you had, it sometime showed // oh, i guess that's just the way things go // oh, i guess that's just the way things go

passed your house when i was on a train // in my mind, you'll always stay the same // i’m happy now, i ought to let you know // but i guess that's just the way things go // oh, i guess that's just the way things go // and i don’t mind that that's the way things go.

:(((((( stsg anon i’m not even joking this made me tear up …… he’s just so lonely. you’ll always be you, and he’ll always be suguru. i don’t think he could ever stop being fond of you, even if you were to forget him one day. in my mind, you’ll always stay the same………….. sniffle. he’ll always, always remember you.

[bwobgames]

Previous First

"What?! We we're chatting so casually right above a ticking bomb?!"

"Not the most ideal place for homosexual activity, but certainly a memorable one"

They take the controllers and go outside

"Where could we hide them?"

"Maybe in the storage room? There were a lot of boxes there"

"No, no, if we loop again, they might end up back in the shed.

It needs to be outside the house"

"Alright, I'll just put them in.... under one of these trees. He probably won't see them"

"Yeah, Alright, just remember which tree"

They get into the woods, Ángel puts the controllers under a tree and takes out his pocket knife

He carves "Á + O" surrounded by a heart

"There, marked"

"... You really are something"

"Something worth keeping?"

"Of course.

Now let's go back"

"So what's the plan of action?"

"Um, I'm working on it"

"We could say something is wrong with the bar and that everyone should hide somewhere"

"Didn't you say we might not have enough time to talk to everyone?"

"Yes, I know"

"I, I guess we could try and take the control from him

Just, you know, pickpocket it"

"... It's not very safe, though, and someone could still get hurt, that man is armed"

"Let's just let the bomb go off"

"Huh?"

"If the bomb goes off, then there's no more bomb! And we don't have to worry about that"

"Yes, but someone could get hurt or worse! Then we would go back to the start!"

"Although... I guess that's also an option, going back to the start. I mean, now he has only one bomb"

"Ah, but then we'll lose the lead we have now, and he'll know we are up to something"

"Oh yeah, we have to talk to Nadia too"

"Maybe, maybe we could destroy the clock beforehand? To ensure that we won't loop?"

"No, that's too dangerous, we wouldn't get another chance if any of us dies"

"I know I know! It's just. Everything is dangerous. Everything has risks. I'm not sure what to do"

"Oliver, I want you to know something"

"I'm with you! no matter what you pick"

"So keep in mind that

If your plan fails

I'm killing that man with my own hands"

"Oh, it's that look again

The look of a man ready to kill

Ángel..."

"So don't worry, okay? I have your back"

"Ángel that is not as reassuring as you want it to be"

"I, I don't want Ángel to be a murderer

Anything I pick has its risks, but the time is running out, and there's only so many chances we're gonna get"

"I need to face this. Whatever consequences it might bring, I... I'll have to accept them

I promised I would save him

From this loop, from being a murderer, from seeing me die again

I'll do what it takes"

[kaocat-tatatat]

just read batman #71 and that moment with Tim really pissed me off, and now I am having thoughts about comic book bruce wayne and the direction of his character.

Look I don't mind bruce not being a good parent, in fact I kinda like it, and I understand it's a part of his character complexity (especially in the the canon comics) but ffs it's just really ruins his character for him to be physically abusive. like yeah, doesn't happen often in comics (thankfully) from what I've read but it's happened a few times in the past and recently, so I still see it as a problem rather than a product of the times or whatever, I really don't like it and I'd really wish they'd stop doing it.

a bruce wayne that hits his kids is not my bruce wayne, and I can't see in any capacity how it makes any story with him in it better, or makes his character better. the only thing I can think of that it is useful in is raising stakes and making things more dramatic (for lack of a better term). like there are other ways to show bruce's unstable emotional state and short temper than having him beat his kids.

Since they seem fond of it happening repeatedly though (looking at the time he hit Dick and ofc the way he treated Jason after learning he was red hood to name the first thoughts that come to mind) I need them to address it and for him to face consequences (and learn and grow so he can become the mediocre parent he was meant to be) directly in some form or another soon because it just feels like such a horrible thing to have as a reccuring character trait, one that is displayed over multiple stories by multiple writers, and just not resolve it or develop it much? like inxmost cases they at least recognise its wrong, and maybe they even have bruce deal with it individually- but never all at once and never with him actually dealing with the consequences and changing for the better.

I mean I have tried, but imo not very well and considering hoe it pops up again and again, it doesn't last long. I do have hope though, post gotham war (and now with failsafe), I think writers have been trying to in some way have that happen. Bruce loses his wealth, money, hand, and his relationships with his children are frayed after being taken over by zur-an-arth, and has to work to get to it back. then he has to fight failsafe, and then he finally gets clarity, with what things have been building up to, with the clone situation. of course, with the ending of the most recent arc has him get to have a new beginning, with bruce getting his money back, a new house, and potentially having his children live with him again. he faced consequences for hurting people through his actions and mental state and then has to build himself up again, and finally he gets to have a redemption arc and a second chance. while I don't think it has been done in the best way (there are high highs and low lows), I can see what they are going for and hope they are taking it the direction I think they are, and finally having bruce gore to be a better parent.

i am upset it hasnt exactly been direct, which makes me worry om reading into things wrong, but its a step in the right direction, and i feel that its possible comic book bruce wayne may actually take a second chance?? don't get me wrong bruce has had plenty of second chances thrown at him by the narrative, and while I think personally that this comes a bit to late, if my reading of the recent comics and there overall themes is correct then we may, may have bruce not be physically abusive anymore ( or less emotionally abusive too, ideally)

in conclusion: let bruce wayne have character growth, permanently (I have hope, aka, I am coping) AND STOP HAVING HIM BEAT HIS CHILDREN!!! HE IS PRONE TO HURTING THE PEOPLE HE LOVES THE MOST BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN HE SHOULD PURPOSEFULLY LAY HIS HANDS ON HIM!!

I might expand on this with why so many writers choose to write him this way, where i think it comes from, and ehy i still think him being physically abusive is bad for his character and (not OOC per say because its happened too many times and in multiple points in history for it to be) but rather, just a poor take on his character, but it's currently 1:35 in the morning where I am and the only thing keeping me awake is my poor decision to hyperfixate on bruce fucking wayne of all characters, so I must pay the price

[bookishfeylin]

hello! I came here to say that I really appreciate your analyzes and how you make it very clear the breakdown of the romanticization of abuse that happens in Acotar.

(I needed a translator's help to write this, so I hope it's not too bad to understand. 😅)

Everywhere I look, I see very committed IC fans who won't even consider the arguments anyone brings if it's not praise for the favs. Honestly, it just makes me want to believe that it's a pretty superfluous and irrational admiration these people have.

Sometimes all I want to say is, “OK, if you want to like this character so bad, like him then, but be honest with yourself about his actions, ALL OF THEM, not the ones you choose because you think they're cute or because they're convenient to fuel your excuses. Don't make excuses for it."

This whole effort to defend these characters by saying that they don't do bad things or that the things that "seem" bad are justified because they are too good for it says enough to me. Accepting the fact that maybe the character you admire so much is actually not really good would be like failing the illusion they end up creating of a wonderful and perfect character, which they apparently cannot admit.

I'm not a hypocrite, there are a few things I've come to realize about some of the actions of some of the characters in Acotar were actually bad after some reflection on it. Sarah's writing showing Feyre's very influential point of view helps a lot to confuse the nature of some actions, I came to this conclusion after reading the saga for the third time, just to be sure.

I feel like I can never say enough about how Feyre's point of view (which romanticizes many actions) also played into the villainization of Nesta in this story, the suddenly so fantastical view of Rhysand, the normalization of how the Night Court works (seriously, how can someone find the way this court works cool just because most of the time we only see the “beautiful” part of it because is just what Feyre only came to see?) and many other things.

How can everyone watching Feyre plot to overthrow the Spring Court, full of innocent people, just for personal revenge on Tamlin? No one will hear me say that Tamlin didn't deserve Feyre's anger, but that doesn't include involving other people who have nothing to do with it. For example, my own personal experience lets me know very well what it's like to be someone who lives in a country led by someone I don't trust at all precisely because I know they have completely wrong ideals. For a few years my country was led by someone very bad and that left traumas in trust and in the way of a population live. Fortunately in my country there is a new leader and I already knew that things would get better, but I was left with a lot of confidence issues regarding the future of the country and the population even so, especially fearful about the amount of power a leader has and what can do with that, just keep in my mind the consequences that we have suffered until today because of the previous administration. All this I'm saying to argue about how perhaps the Spring Court faeries must have felt about this whole situation, the things Feyre had manipulated them into believing, after they had spent many, many years being ravaged by Amarantha's people and her curse. My opinion of Feyre lowered a lot after that action, especially since I don't even remember her having a second thought about it and showing any regrets for the consequences of her actions.

And that was yet another argument to be used against Rhysand as well. HE knew much better than Feyre about the implications of it all, and he loved that she did it anyway (and I can't get it out of my mind that she only does things because HE ALLOWS IT, and most readers gladly drink that sweet illusion of freedom and power that she apparently has. I can't help but think that it's Rhysand who offers the options for her to choose from, so he can offer all that are convenient for him in the end).

Dude, honestly, do any faeries act up to the big amount of time they've lived and all the experience they're supposed to have? I'm not even going to really start talking about Rhys (the real protagonist on my view) and all the points I'd like to make about him, including Sarah's awful approach to the very burden she placed on his character (both his actions before, during UTM and after, even as well his traumas), it's too much and I wasn't even planning to write that much.

After all, my plans were just to come here to tell you that I share many of your opinions and appreciate your analysis. Thanks so much for sharing them. I know it must be difficult to fight against the current (I feel like it is, since the vast majority still think everything is very fantastic in the most dubious parts of this saga).

(Many things are not mentioned here and I would like to do that one of these days, when possible. If so, more specifically cite each thing, like when I expressed my unhappiness about what happened to the Spring Court. I feel that would be a very interesting conversation to have with you. Anyway, I leave here a hug and show you once again my gratitude for sharing your thoughts with us <3)

Hi anon!

I agree with so many of your points here, and it’s truly crazy to me how few people outside of this little nook of the fandom notice or care about any of these things. But yes, by far the most insidious part of the endless defense of these characters is the treatment of her toppling the Spring Court, for reasons you already mentioned. I’ve talked about it both here and on Ao3, but her toppling the Spring Court REEKS of imperialism. The glorification of white people running around toppling governments is something that rubs me the wrong way and I’m glad I’m not the only one. A lot of people know that I actually really connected with Feyre in the first book and that I’m truly a Feyre girlie at heart but… yeah. This plotline was white girlboss feminism through and through and I’ll never be over the lengths fandom goes to to excuse it.

At any rate, thank you so much for the ask! And you are more than welcome to come back to my inbox again if you have more you’d like to talk about 🥰

[yvtro]

Ideally, how would you change Jason's story? I completely agree with what you're saying and love Jason but I don't really know how you could really fix that without completely changing his character?

Maybe instead of retconning his behavior have him instead realize he was in the wrong and grow from it that way it doesn't change his past comics?

yes!! but also no. i talked a bit about it here, but let me elaborate.

there's plenty of potential in post-resurrection jay material, as shitty as it is. i love stories about haunting and about trying to escape from the narrative and about regaining autonomy, and i love reconstruction. which is why i think the best thing to do here is primarly to do what you said: for jason to realise he was in the wrong and grow from it.

i think here a new narrative (new-old, because it's something that some writers have been trying to imply but never succeeded) could be given shape, one more compliant with his 80s characterisation: that he gave in to a moral defeat mostly because of the tension between how it was initially his sensitivity and devotion to protecting others that pushed him into extreme methods as a vigilante & the fact that he tried to detach himself from these feelings at the same time. (of course it is much more complicated, because there's plenty things coming into play regarding his red hood persona, including bruce, his personal trauma etc., but let's set it aside for another time). in other words, he turned to extreme methods because he cared too much and didn't know how to handle it, so ended up repressing it and committing to violence in order to avoid vulnerability. we could move towards this interpretation of his story in two ways:

–– by jason failing completely and hitting the very rock bottom. i'm thinking about him, for example, killing the wrong person by accident and being confronted with the consequences of his action. or maybe failing to protect someone because of his methods. this would be a wake up call for him. it's an easy, fun and fast vision, this one. altern

–– by a gradual process of jason opening up back to his community and seeing that his actions do not help them in the ways he hoped, and that him committing to more positive and grassroot work makes a much bigger difference.

i'm a fan of the first option because there's so much space for pathos there, and the second scenario can naturally follow from there. i'd like to see bruce in this kind of story, also; i want jason breaking down and asking "if my ways don't work, and your ways don't work, then what will work? are we doomed to live like that? i want these people safe. for them to feel safe" "jay. do you not feel safe?"

what then though? well, jason has to learn how to live. i talked about if before, but i think one of the biggest sources of jay's misery is that he doesn't really have any civilian identity. i want to see jason unburying himself and for dc to actually address this issue instead of hinting at the fact that he's no longer legally dead (not even talking about lobdell's storyline where jason reveals that, i'd rather forget.) i want to see jason retiring for at least some time and living among people instead of working on the peripheries of the society with no connection to anyone.

and then, if he takes up the mask again... controversial, but i would love to see him as batman at some point, even if just for a while or as a substitute for bruce when b is not around. i think one part of batman's philosophy that is completely overlooked by many jason fans, and that would be so valuable for jason's storyline, is that bruce is completely aware both of all the evil in the world and the long term futility of vigilantism. the thing is that he is also able to own the success of helping even just one person. and it's something that jay, on the other hand, can't seem to be able to focus on; he is so preoccupied with both suffering of the others and his own pain, that he is not able to appreciate small "wins."

not to quote this again but jason really needs to realise that "one measure of maturity might be attaining an awareness that there can be no genuine devotion to fighting the forces that unworldly the world without genuine devotion to the littlest manifestation of beauty that make this planet a world and this existence a life.” he needs to embrace hope the way bruce did, because there's no other way of living for self-sacirificial bastards like them (and they are so similar in so many ways that are completely overlooked by writers, although i guess it's also hard to see it with how chronically mischaracterised bruce has been in recent years).

of course i don't mean that jason should be moulded into a copy of bruce. he should actually become better than bruce, and that's not that hard to achieve given that jason has infinitely more connection to the people. he has a community where his dedication comes from, and he is needed there, among them, as opposed to above them.

having said that, this story couldn't really happen with some changes to the canon, by which i don't really mean retconning anything, but rather underwriting certain reboots, to name a few:

–– the story has to get jason's origin as a robin and his inherent kindness right. it has to denounce lots of flashbacks in which jay was potrayed as aggressive and angry. this should come with the narrative addressing victim-blaming, but this is a complicated matter, because jason being victim-blamed was not only shitty for his character, but also sometimes rather out of character for the others. and i'm personally not necessarily interested in mindless whump at expanse of the narrative as a whole. so it's tricky, but we need to see victim-blaming being acknowledged without jason being victimised further for no good reason.

–– willis and catherine should be shown to be as loving as they were originally. willis being abusive doesn't add anything to jason's story rather than trauma porn and classist undertones. it's not necessary here.

–– honestly, let's just ignore half of rhato. bruce beating up jason for example was a crazy fantasy that didn't bring in anything to the narrative.

with these aspects corrected, the story can be reframed as a reconstruction of tragedy, where jason realises that there's no fate (and definitely no fate adjacent to classist rhetorics) that he needs to fight by commiting to the tragic irony of assuming his murderer's past persona. all he needs to do is to go back to his roots and find a way to live with all that happened to him, and still have hope and love for the people he seeks to protect.

so, tldr: yes to development from the point where we are at, but also yes to underwriting and reconstruction of past events in a less invasive way to push the storyline in the right direction. of course what i described above is also a very specific scenario, but you asked how i would ideally do it, so i delivered.

[asirensrage]

Please do tell about the new dark fic you're planning 😱😍

Of course!!!

It's a My Hero Academia fic. The title is Dig My Grave (take my hand) and features an OC named Sayuri. You can read more about her here. There's also a moodboard here.

Okay, so if you've been around for my fic The Art of Seclusion, (or any of my dark drabbles/ficlets) you'll know that I'm a sucker for exploring things like obsession. This fic deals a lot with the villains of the show, especially (mainly) Dabi. It's not completely planned because I haven't decided on how dark it's going to be nor in which direction it's going to go (aka whether it'll have a happy ending or not). Also if I'm going to follow canon because rn I've only seen the anime. I haven't caught up on the manga yet.

Sayuri has been hiding her strength, wanting to live a quiet, peaceful life after her tumultuous childhood. Luck is not on her side when she finds herself the centre of attention after being recorded using that strength to save the children in her care and ignoring the reporters and heroes on the scene. This is after Stain's ideals start spreading and she finds herself facing off with the LoV who want to use her notoriety to draw others in. They're expecting a schoolteacher. They don't expect her.

Sayuri struggles to find her way out as the sides close in around her. Dabi's interest only grows as he learns about her past and demands to know why she refuses revenge. He's determined to make her see his way of things. She won't let him win. He won't let her go.

It's going to be similar to AoS in the way it's going to explore obsession and what you're willing to sacrifice of yourself to survive. Still, Sayuri is different from Amelia due to past trauma and the anger that she holds tightly. She's not afraid to take action and some of this fic will show how sometimes you have to find a way to work through your fears and be vulnerable in order to succeed. Things like that aren't easy and she's going to have to keep herself from drowning as she does so. The fic will also dive into the way that the villains are human and heroes aren't always good (much like the anime/manga does).

I'm actually really looking forward to it and I have the feeling that like AoS, it'll probably go in its own way and might go darker than I intend. Of course, I'm already planning a lot and after I told @emerald-valkyrie some of it, they're trying to kidnap Sayuri from me to protect her, lol. So that should tell you how it's going.

“The problem with all of you is that none of you give a shit about the consequences or who you hurt. It’s always your choices that take priority. Fuck everyone else, right?” She scoffs to herself.  “Getting brave there, princess,” he says, watching her carefully. His stance is casual but she can feel his eyes burn into her. “You forget what the boss said?” “He’s not my boss and I wasn’t just referring to you. I meant the so-called heroes too. None of you give a shit about the people who get caught in the middle. Not really.”

Thanks for asking!

[diamondcitydarlin]

I'm not gonna tag this because shadows fandom loves to be contrarian and base their metas directly on people who didn't like things while calling them stupid and shallow and whatever (because apparently I can't not like the way a thing was written without directly insulting someone else who did?? Or being stupid? make it make sense) but I honestly am all for Guillermo being and staying a human. I've been all for it since day one, honestly. To me, everything about his story from the first episode, first season suggests that this is the kind of idealized dream he's going to wake up from eventually and realize it's not everything he wanted. I've always been 100% on board with that, especially with the reveal that he was a vampire hunter which came with its own set of powers. In fact, I was working on a fic a couple years ago that I intend to return to that is ALL about Guillermo finally eschewing his dreams of vampirism for a purpose that better fulfills him etc.

So no, my problem with this last episode is not that 'Guillermo needs to stay a vampire or it's bad writing phwah', my problem is with the swiftness that all of this happens, coupled with the fact that Guillermo is between a rock and a hard place and more or less just being guided into place by what everyone else in the situation thinks is best for him. Despite the fact that he literally DRINKS BLOOD FROM A CUP to fully come into his vampire powers naught but a few scenes before, the fact that he cannot bring himself to drain a human directly from the tap until dead (which I still don't think makes a lot of sense on it's own but fine) is treated as this insurmountable problem they can't possibly get over so, obviously, he needs to be reverted via Derek's death (a character who also doesn't deserve that). Can't just let him drink blood from cups or bottles for a while. Can't just let him half drain someone but not to the point of death. Maybe at least to give him some time to decide??? Maybe give him better reasons (of which there are many) to decide to revert? He has been idolizing this for most of his life, after all, I just think it's a shame that we're meant to accept that ONE moment of revulsion towards killing someone (KILLING SOMEONE OF ALL THINGS) is enough to make him just nope out completely. That's a disservice to him and what he's capable of, if you ask me.

See, I of course enjoyed the deliciousness of the whole cheating/sex parallel to Guillermo being bitten by someone else, loved that, I'm just not sure how I feel about that storyline ending with Nandor being like 'im gonna forgive you for this but only because you're too much of a stupid little baby to know what you want, but I know what you want better than you do, now lemme kill the guy you cheated on me with real quick ok' LIKE. I KNOW that they are toxic I KNOW they are unhealthy, but Guillermo is a character that has constantly been struggling with his own agency, often seizing it on his own by very aggressive means, often being shown as smarter and more capable than most of the household, and for this storyline to just end with Nandor 'fixing' it all because Guillermo's just too dumb to know what's best for him...IDK YALL. DIDN'T LIKE IT. I can see how people would find it romantic and I do think it's meant to be but...nope. I don't find that romantic lmao I find that insulting and patronizing. Maybe that's the point? But it wasn't funny either. Or interesting, really. (The Freddie stuff was fucked up but at least it was funny to some degree lol)

I guess my point is that I wish there had been more time spent on this. We can't keep excusing these cop-out, rushed and dropped storylines on 'well it's a goofy show' because yes, it's ALWAYS been a goofy show I get it, but there's no denying that seasons 1-3 did a better job of holding on to arcs and creating consequences for the characters as a result of these arcs and their actions, such as the Vampire Council tricking them into custody after a season of Guillermo killing a bunch of vampires etc. There's precedent in this GOOFY GOOFY show to think that there will be follow through and consequences of characters actions etc, so no, it doesn't come from nowhere and it's not people just seeing what they want to or whatever.

I do kind of think this was rushed because the next season will most likely be the last, but even if that is true, I don't see why we couldn't have dedicated more time to it in this next season. It's deflating, it's boring, it sucks that one of the main narrative questions of the show 'Will Guillermo transform or not?' has been answered with what I find to be more or less a wet fart that doesn't even really make sense or fully take into account who the characters are and what they're capable of.

Yes, it's a goofy show that is usually just episodic moments of whatever crazy shenanigans the vampires will get into today, but it used to be elevated and tied together by story arcs and narrative consequences that would, eventually, sooner or later, show up for the characters to deal with. It used to be arcs that spanned episodes of Guillermo coming into his power and feeling conflicted about his dreams versus his destiny. It used to be the Vampire Council or the Baron being a certain kind of existential threat. It used to give us the idea that while funny stuff was happening, buckle up, because it's going to get REAL in the last few episodes.

But now that's uh...more or less just not a thing anymore. Everything is dealt with in a 25 min runtime and there are no consequences for anything that last or mean anything. To me, that sucks, and not in a cool vampire way lmao.

[nastrond-and-valhalla]

Hopeful Wrath Part 2: Soul of Justice

*kiko stood there by the beach side of Heaven, looking off into the distance in silence. He waited for the arrival of his opponent. Speaking of said person, the person in question lands some feet away from him.*

Michael: ".......Kiko."

"So you've arrived, 'angel of justice'."

Michael: "Of course. I can't allow someone as dangerous as you run wild in Heaven."

"You're one to talk. You, sitting ideally by as your exorcists slaughter sinners without even trying to redeem them in anyway."

Michael: "So that's your reason for crippling the entire exorcist army. You got a lot of nerve doing something so sinful."

"You're one to talk about sins, angel of justice. Abandoning your brother, turning a blind eye to the suffering of humans, allowing the slaughtering of thousands of sinners that aren't even given the chance to redeem themselves."

Michael: "What do you know? You're not even from here! What would an outsider of our world know about how things works around here?"

".....Your niece is down there, She's trying to help the sinners find redemption. I heard that the first human, Adam, tried to kill her and the hotel she built to make that dream a reality." *Michael's eye twitched.* "Do you feel nothing towards your own family?"

Michael: "That is out of my hands, kid. I'm not responsible for the actions of either Lucifer or his children. My duties focus on the wellbeing of the citizens of heaven. As for what happened to Adam, he got what was coming to him. He's been living off Sera's good will for far too long. He's become conceded into thinking he could do whatever he wanted without consequences. His own recklessness is what caused his end."

"Is that how you angels feel towards all humans?"

Michael: "Let me ask you a question then, Kiko. Why are you trying to defend those who's committed great atrocities? Why side with the side of sin? Why protect demons?"

"Why? Because that is my sole duty as the Exceptional Hope." *kiko draws his sword and raises it.*

*The rapier shimmers in the light.*

"Gaze upon this slim blade in my hand. Look up how the light shimmers off the edges and the tip. So white. So clean. So pristine. At a distant glance, it would be easy to assume that this blade was never used. Just there for appearance. But this sword has been used. It has spilt the blood of millions of monsters and other living beings. And I've hated every second of it. I hate violence. I hate the idea of killing others for any reason." *he lowers his sword and looks down at it. His face softens into a melancholic one.*

"I've always tried to see the good in others. I've always tried to help as many people as I could. Tried to find the most peaceful solution possible to prevent the worst possible outcomes. I know that killing and death is unavoidable when it comes to war. I know that not everyone can be truly reasoned with. And yet, I can't help but try to hold out hope for them. Hold out hope that things aren't too late. That I can get them to change their ways. I've seen people that were once good turn bad and bad people turn good. Not everything is set in stone. And those sinners......I know that they've committed some serious crimes. And yet, I've seen some of them maintain their humanity, showing sympathy for others, showing kindness to those less fortunate than themselves. It's sights like that the renews my faith in humanity. It shows me that no matter the situation, there are those that aren't truly heartless. That there are people that can be saved. And yet, at the same time, they always say that the path to evil is always paved with good intentions. There were once great heroes that did everything they could to save the world, only to become it's enemy. The reasons vary, but it's cruel truth I've always been aware of. It's why my duty is both a join and painful to me. Because in order to protect the hopes of others, I'll need to crush the hopes of the foe that stands before me. I can't protect everyone's hopes and dreams." *he closes his eyes, silently mourning for those he had lost or cut down to protect the innocent.*

"But I won't stop trying. If there is a chance, no matter how slim or small, I will take it. Because if I don't, then it'll mean I've given up on humanity. I will never lose my hope in humanity. That is why I defend the sinners, because I see a chance of redemption within them. It is why I attacked your exorcists, for failing to see that faint light in them and refusing to look further. Too blinded by their sick idea of a game and their own sadistic pleasures. And then there's you and your council that would dare be ok with this vile act. You didn't even give the sinners a chance. it's that very evil i cannot allow. If sinners are to be judged for their evils, then so must you angels. I do not care if my soul is damned forever. I will fight to protect Hell's hope with all I have!"

Michael: ".......So be it." *Michael draws his sword and shield.* "You're a good person, Kiko. I can see that in your eyes and I can hear it in your voice....I'm truly sorry, but my home and my people come first. I must uphold my duties as the seraphim of justice. Therefore, I must stop you! In the name of the High Angel Council and the Holy Lord, I will strike you down!" *Michael gets into a fighting stance, reading to charge at Kiko who gets into a defensive fighting stance.*

"Know this, Michael. I find no joy in doing this."

Michael: "Likewise." *His wings flex as he charges at Kiko, swinging his sword at him. Kiko blocks it and tries to counter, only to be parried by Michael's shield. Micheal bashes the shield into Kiko, pushing him back. Kiko recovers in time to dodge out the way of a downward slash from Michael. Michael blocks another one of Kiko's counters.* "Don't take me lightly, Kiko. I'm not a pushover like those exorcists. I actually train properly and seriously."

"I've noticed." *The two continue to go at each other, soon taking flight and continuing their battle in the air. The two flew at each other, clashing their weapons, strike after strike. Michael starts firing rays of holy light at Kiko who starts dodging out of the way. One of them catches Kiko by surprise, knocking him towards the ground. Michael raises his sword in the air, generating more balls of light that fires upon Kiko, who dodges out of the way while trying to find a way to close the distance between them. Thinking on the fly, a green wind like aura surges into Kiko's leg. He kicks up a massive cloud of sand, obscuring Michael's vision in the process. He uses his wings to blow away as much of the sand possible while trying to spot Kiko.*

Michael: "Where did he go!?" *Just then, Kiko reappears before him and kicks him in the face, blowing him away. Kiko chases after him, landing more and more blows on him at a speed beyond what Michael could keep up with. Michael is finally able to block one of Kiko's attacks, but his shield gets knocked away. In that moment, Michael goes for it and stabs Kiko right in his heart. Kiko coughs up blood as Michael thrusts his sword deeper into Kiko's chest and throws him into the sea. Michael carefully lands on the beach, trembling.* "......Damn.....He messed me up.....That speed.....That power......He may not be a seraphim, but he certainly had the power to rival one." *Michael started to walk away, not noticing the water starts to bubble as a bright light starts to shine from it.*

[Song playing: Under Heaven Destruction]

*And then, a massive eruption bursts out of the Heavenly sea, shocking Michael as he gazes up at the rising Ilirhian. Kiko's wings were shining radiantly, his aura emitted a feeling of relaxation and safety, and his eyes were glowing white with determination and unwavering resiliense. He pulls out the sword from his chest, dropping it as his wound heals itself.* "Y-You.....!"

"Come, Angel.....Show me the extent of your Justice." *Michael grits his teeth. He flies at Kiko and starts fighting him at full power. The two holy beings were no longer holding back, throw blow after blow at each other. Their clash starts sending shock waves throughout Heaven, alerting some of the citizens to their battle. They see the battle taking place in the far off distance, meaning they don't see who's fighting nor know why. But it sends a worrying chill down not just their spines, but also the spines of the council members while they can only watch the battle unfold from a far distance. As the battle raged on, some of the citizens starts to notice something bizzare happening. In the distance, A giant angelic woman rises from the clouds, sprouting her wings and extending her arms wide. The angel slowly start to wrap her arms and wings around all of Heaven, slowly generating a barrier around it all. This is soon noticed by the battle weary Michael.*

Michael: "(A barrier?.........Why.....Is this Kiko's doing? But why....? He's not really......The crafty bastard! I can't believe he's actually going that far for Hell! Kiko.....You truly are the most selfless being I've ever met in my entire life.)" *The two punches each other hard in their guts. Both of them starts to bleed out of their mouths.* "(if only......I wasn't so foolishly stupid.....to get on your bad side.)" *the two backs away from each other, staggered by each other's attacks. Both of them were breathing heavily, struggling to catch their breaths.*

"I know.....that you're not done yet.......Is this really.....the extent of your so called Justice.......? Was that nothing more than empty nonsense......!? Well was it!?!?!" *Michael grits his teeth as he grips his fists tightly.*

"Stand......" *kiko stands back up.* "Stand up and fight for you justice, Michael!!!"

Michael: "RAAAAAAAA!!!" *The two go at it again, throwing Heavy attacks at each other, holding very little back. Michael, the angel of Justice who spent his entire life upholding his sole duty to protect Heaven and uphold the code of Justice. Kiko, the Exceptional Hope of Ilirhia who'd always fight for the hopes of others and would gladly die to protect them. Both fighting hard for their ideals. Both fighting to protect what matters to them. both fighting with everything they have. This battle.....If it were any other situation, they'd be truly close friends. But alas, that would've been more ideal in an ideal world. And so, the two, almost out of steam charges at each other aiming their last punches at each other, aiming for their faces. They launch their last attack at each other.........Michael's punch misses and grazes Kiko's cheek while Kiko punches Michael with everyone he has left, nearly breaking Michael's jaw and skull in the process. Kiko's fighting scream echoes as he sends Michael flying all the way back into the city, causing him to crash through building after building before one of the buildings. Everyone looked at the beaten up angel as he slides down the wall and falls to the floor, completely out cold. The Angel of Justice, Michael, has been defeated as the wings finish covering Heaven, creating an unbreakable barrier that no one can get through. Only the one that made the barrier can disspell it or allow anyone in and out of it. Back with Kiko, he was breathing heavily, slowly taking in what happened...........At the end......Kiko lets out a loud echoing scream. It's not a victory yell. It's more of a scream of pain and sorrow. Tears ran down his cheeks as he continued to scream out in emotional agony. Some time later, some angelic guards find Kiko sitting on the beach in silence. They surround the exceptional hope, pointing their weapons at him.*

Angel Guard: "You're under arrest."

[bistaxx]

my last few tags got cut off... I might rb again and add them lol hold on!

I actually really enjoy reading critical posts from people who genuinely love and understand the character they're criticizing.

So now I'm curious.

What do you believe is the worst thing your favorite Dream SMP character has done, and why?

[blindradiant]

I posted a thread on Twitter where I tried to explain why I love Szeth as much as I do, and I decided to post it here. Here it is. The only changes I’ve made are putting it into paragraph form, instead of thread form. I don’t know how well I explained my thoughts, but I tried. This is long. Full Stormlight spoilers ahead

First, I’m gonna put how I feel about him into context.

You know how much most people love Kaladin ?

Yeah, that’s me with Szeth .

Don’t get me wrong. I still love Kal and think he’s storming amazing. Szeth has definitely become my favorite Stormlight character though.

I don’t like him because I relate to him, the way a lot of people do with Kaladin . I actually barely relate to Szeth at all, and the things I do relate to him over are smaller/less emphasized parts of his personality, like his intelligence and how he’s good at memorizing things. Relating to Szeth at all isn’t why he’s my favorite character. It’s honestly hard to pinpoint the core reason, but I know how he started becoming my favorite.

It started with me writing fanfic from his PoV. Trying to understand him, trying to figure out how he thinks and sees things and approaches what he does, trying to work out who he *is*. I’ve spent over a year at this point picking out everything I can from canon. I’ve gone through his PoV sections and places he shows up from other characters’ viewpoints over and over again, trying to understand this man. I think that deep, repetitive study is a big part of what lead to this.

Even before I started thinking of him much though, I thought he was interesting. I thought that Brando had created a fascinating character, but that was about the extent of my thoughts if I’m remembering accurately.

Once I started digging into his character more, I kept finding more and more complexity. I could probably write an entire different thing talking about his view on fighting and killing, or how it takes an almost literal act of god to keep him from doing what he wants. He’s terrifyingly intense, but also deeply, incredibly despondent. He doesn’t want or like anything he’s gone through, but he keeps going out of honor and obligation. He fundamentally believes that he deserves to suffer and be hated for what he’s done. He’s very aware of the consequences of his actions. That’s part of why he hears the screams of the people he’s killed in his head.

He’s so dedicated to whatever he’s latched onto that he will literally destroy himself before he lets go. Like I said earlier, it takes an almost literal act of god to turn Szeth aside once he’s latched onto something. We saw that with his fight with Kaladin at the end of WoR, with his training with the Skybreakers , and now with his oath to Dalinar and his 4th Ideal.

If that intensity of focus can be directed/if he starts trusting himself to direct it, it could be an incredible asset to the war against Odium.

That complete and utter dedication is definitely fascinating, and I’ve spent more time on it than I planned. It’s only one part of Szeth’s character though. There’s also his intelligence, how good he is at piecing things together, how observant he is, how he can use what he knows to his advantage, and so much more. I also think he’s one of the loneliest characters.

At this point in the series, it’s been about 9 years since Szeth was exiled from Shinovar . He spent most of that time being a slave and literally treated like a thing. Then he joined the Skybreakers , where the person he was closest to was * Nale *. If the person you’re closest to is someone who is thousands of years old and in a horrible state of mind, that doesn’t exactly scream, “I have a great community and support system!”

Then Szeth separated from the rest of the Skybreakers and started following Dalinar .

And guess what happened not long after Szeth changed his allegiance?

He was put in prison for a year.

Again, not a great way to have any kind of community. Szeth is constantly either physically isolated, or on the outside of a group because of who he is, what he’s done, or what he represents to those around him. That’s definitely understandable, but that doesn’t keep him from being alone. He never thinks of it, probably because of what I said earlier about him believing he deserves to suffer. The three people he has any amount of connection or meaningful relationship with are Nale , Nightblood , and Dalinar . I shouldn’t need to say anything else about what that means for Szeth’s (lack of) stable, positive relationships.

He’s also lost basically everything in his life. He lost his home, his family, his place in Shinovar . He lost his status as Truthless , which was his only remaining connection to his life before. He lost his religious beliefs. He lost his Honorblade . He lost everything he ever wanted or held to, and it keeps happening. Is it any wonder that once he’s given something, he holds onto it with everything he has? I think it makes perfect, heartbreaking sense. I think the loneliness and loss is why I’m attached to him.

Everyone around him, including Szeth himself, treats him and thinks of him as something other than just a human. There’s always something else tinging how they view and think of him. Again, it makes total sense, all things considered. But that doesn’t change that Szeth is a human, with human pains, human needs, human desires. That humanity is what fascinates me about him. The experience of being a person who’s constantly been beaten down by slavery, killing, loss, and hopelessness.

I’ve latched onto Szeth because I want better for him. I want to see him start to heal. I want to see him learn to make his own decisions. I want to see him become less violent. I want to see him with people around him who are a positive influence for once. I want to see him find his own way and be more at peace. I want to see him belong somewhere. I want to see him change for the better.

Brando probably won’t give that to me though, so I spend over a year studying about Szeth , daydreaming, and writing fanfic.

I know other people don’t feel the same. They haven’t latched onto Szeth , and some never will. It makes part of me sad, but I get it. He can be a hard character to like, but I’ve definitely managed it.