#that's if i haven't ran out of elastic anyways

[strangedisciple]

i've gotta make justice kandi at some point tbh

[anthemofgvf]

Endless Summer: Josh Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction

Part Four

description: you and sammy have been best friends since you were kids, and being around his family was the norm your entire life. when invited to a trip to their family lake house during the summer, you find yourself spending more time with his brother than your best friend. and, one thing has been clear your entire friendship: brothers are off limits.

warnings for this series: alcohol and marijuana usage, explicit content (18+, minors dni), angst, swearing

word count: 8k+

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Walking down the steps of the cabin, your legs grew sorer with each step. It wasn't unbearable pain, thankfully, but you were just satisfied that the day would be filled with relaxation.

You ran your hand through your hair, scratching at your scalp with a light yawn and fixed your eyes around the quiet morning atmosphere of the living room. It was around 9 AM; your were eyes a bit foggy from just getting up for the day. But you were quick to notice that Josh's bedroom door was open.

Your feet hit the cool wooden floors as you made your way over to his bedroom. You figured he wouldn't mind if you entered unannounced, but you chose to click your knuckles against the door anyways to notify him you were coming in.

"Josh?" You called for him, waiting for a response but not receiving one.

Your mind flicked between the idea of walking into his room or just going back upstairs. So, you scanned the living room once more before deciding to steal a guilty peak into his room and entering.

His bed was neatly made to your surprise, with his room tidy and cleaned. It surprised you that he had kept his room in a perfect condition, considering his chaotic personality. It was too quick of judgement for you to think that. Hell, it wasn't appropriate for you to be in his room while he wasn't in there.

Your eyes walked around the room, noticing a few family photos, along with some of his personal belongings on his dresser: his sunglasses, his wallet, a mala bead necklace, and his infamous camera.

The camera grabbed your attention, so you decided with another look at the empty room to pick it up and examine it. You weren't sure how old it was since it wasn't digital, so film had to be developed for it. You recognized it because he had brought it on almost every excursion, and you were excited to see all of the photos that would be produced by it.

"Searching through my things?" Josh entered the room, and you quickly fumbled with the camera and dropped it onto the dresser.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I, uh, noticed your door was open and came to see if you were up." Your eyes sprang around the room. But, with the frantic looking you did, your eyes caught the sight of his neutral-toned briefs that were similar to his skin tone.

His lips curled into a smile once he noticed you peaking at his briefs quickly. Your eyes widened and cheeks beginning to flush with your lips pressed together and turning from his gaze. But he just strode over to you, placing his hand onto the counter and leaning onto it with his other hand rested at his hip.

"I would've made myself a bit more decent if I knew you were saying hello. I'm sorry." He shrugged with a quick smile, staring at your adverted eyes.

"No, I should be. I shouldn't have snuck into your room." You huffed a laugh. "You doing anything today?"

He sighed, searching through his drawers and finding a pair of elastic brown shorts. "Not sure. Haven't thought about it much. What about you?"

"Promised Sam the other day we'd do something before we went hiking yesterday. Legs aren't killing me surprisingly, so, we'll probably go out."

"Sounds like fun." He said with a grunt and tying his shorts. "You have a good time out with Sam last night?"

"Yeah. We just sat by the lake and talked," you flashed him a smile, "I still feel bad about ditching you last night."

"Don't! It's alright, really. What, are you thinking about ditching me tonight, too?"

"Wasn't planning on it." You shook your head.

"Good," he patted your shoulder, "I'm looking forward to it."

He left you in his room, and you figured it was a nonverbal cue to follow him out. He had already made his way to the kitchen and grabbing an apple, taking a bite out of it and joining you on the couch.

Within a few minutes, Jake had woken up and joined you two in the living room. He made small talk with you both, not saying much. He was never much of a talker in the morning, unlike his twin, who never seemed to not be able to stop talking. But you never had a problem with it, in fact you liked the different dynamic. Although you knew how much Jake could talk once he warmed up to someone.

And then Sam was next and final in line to waking up, entering the downstairs with a cheerful greeting and talking over the day's plans with you at the dining room table. He had asked if you wanted to go downtown and go to the antique shops that lined the quiet streets, and you gratefully accepted the offer. Jake chimed in and said he'd like to join, and you both didn't mind the extra company.

You had asked Josh if he wanted to come along, but he insisted on letting you three go and take his Jeep, trusting the keys with Sammy and saying he was going to stay in for a bit. Despite your wishes that he would've decided on going with you guys, you knew he preferred to have some time to himself and spend the day alone doing whatever he pleased without a set schedule.

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You three walked into the antique store, filled with racks of clothing and a few other items such as accessories and trinkets in glass cases. A soft melody played on the radio throughout the store, and it was comforting to listen to as you all began browsing.

You searched through the racks of second-hand clothing, flipping through multiple shirts and vests that were in pristine condition despite them being older than they appeared.

Sam followed you around the store for a bit, picking out shirts he thought you'd like and showing you the options.

"Having a good time so far?" He hung up a plaid shirt that he showed you, to which you shook your head with a smile.

"You seem to be asking me this question a lot. Do you think I'm not?" You looked up to him with a puzzled expression.

"Well, I just like to make sure." He shrugged with a coy smile as he walked backwards whilst you searched through the jackets. "It's nice to do something a bit different compared to what we've been doing. Was getting tired of the usual routine."

"Agreed. My legs have been killing me from all the hiking we've been doing." You admitted with a quiet laugh, making your way over to the shirts and tank tops as he followed closely behind.

"Eh, it hasn't been too bad."

"Liar. You dragged your feet up that last trail we did!" You pointed at him with wide eyes.

He shot his hands up in defense. "Alright, alright, you caught me." He put his hands down to his sides with a light chuckle. "Was surprised you didn't have one of us carry you up the trail."

"Josh told me the same thing! Jesus, what is with you boys and thinking I'm out of shape?" You shook your head and watched his face falter into a blank expression.

"We do a lot more traveling than you do." He tapped your back as he left you at the rack and made his way to the fur and leather coats.

Jake came to your side, sporting a rounded black hat and a smirk planted on his face.

"Think this might be my new look. What do you think?" He placed his hands on his hips, spinning his body on his heels and showing off the brown leather vest he had found, along with the hat.

You giggled at the sight, looking at him only for a moment before continuing your search through the articles of clothing. "I think it suits you, if you're going for a more distinguished look."

"Nothing wrong with trying to look proper." He chuckled and took off the hat. His hand ran through the roots of his hair after placing the hat on a nearby rack and finding a hanger to place the vest on.

He stayed at your side, watching as you reached the end of the rack and decided to travel to the next side.

You reacknowledged his presence. "Bored already?"

"Nah, just wanted to see what you find. I've got a pretty good collection of clothes at home, anyways." He gave you a shrug.

"Surprised Josh didn't join us. He loves this kind of stuff, right?" You flicked your eyes at him.

"Yeah, but he’s started to just stay back more whenever we go out. I think he’s sick of us already."

"I'd expect Sam to be that way instead of Josh," you pulled a pink lace tank-top out with floral patterns, "but I'll take your word for it."

You turned the hanger in your hand, examining the shirt before placing it back. You looked at Jake again, who had a knowing smirk on his face. You could only assume that he was thinking about how you mentioned Josh more than Sam, but you tried to ignore the intimidating look to keep your face from growing hot. So, you just left him to search through the accessories that sat at the beginning of the store.

"You seem to be spending more time with Josh this time around." He leaned on the glass counter as you picked through a few necklaces that hung on a plastic cylinder.

"I've been spending the same time with him as I have with all of you." You were quick to defend yourself with a shy smile.

"I mean when he goes up to your room every night." His smile only widened a bit after he saw your smile falter. It was as if he caught onto whatever was going on between you and Josh, despite there being nothing there.

"Stalking me and your brother?" You held in your hands a turquoise-beaded necklace.

"No, just notice him leave every night and hear a door upstairs close. And I know for a fact he's not paying Sam a visit every night." He mentioned to you he liked the necklace, then meeting your eyes with a cocked brow. "You're lucky Sam is a heavy sleeper. The guy can sleep through everything."

You clutched the necklace in your palms and made your way to the collection of vintage earrings. "Well, there's nothing going on, so Sam has nothing to worry about. If there was, you'd be able to pry it out of Josh."

He nodded with a huffed laugh and became busy with the collection of necklaces you were once examining before. "Yeah, Josh tells me everything. Sam's a bit of a secret keeper, though," he shrugged, "but I was just bringing it up because I know how Sam feels about the whole thing. He's always been protective over you."

"Could be because he thinks of me like a sister. Gets annoying when I try to have a conversation with one of you and he's just death staring me." You laughed, to which Jake matched. "He was just picking on me for my legs being sore from all the hiking."

"It seems like he's gotten better with it over time. Comes with growing up, I guess. And, if it makes you feel any better, I was the one who ultimately decided that would be our last hike of the trip." He set down a silver-chain necklace, then left you to roam on your own.

You watched him walk off, looking around the store for your friend and being unable to do so. So, you just kept to yourself, and picked through everything you could get your hands on. You caught yourself thinking whether Josh would like something you picked out, or if we would grab it himself. Especially when you found black mala beads, with a red tinsel hanging in the middle of the ensemble. You ended up grabbing it, along with your turquoise necklace, and went on your search for Sammy.

Sammy had picked out two patterned long sleeves, both from some time between the 70's, and you were surprised by the choices. He modeled them for you, nonetheless, and you all three decided to check out and head to another shop nearby.

"Are you sure the shirts I picked out aren't ugly?" He lifted the plastic bag in his hands and waved it in your face.

"I'm positive, Sam. Should've seen what Jake was showing me, earlier. Now, that was ugly."

Jake placed his hand on his heart as if your words hurt him physically. "You said you liked it!"

"Well, I didn't want to be mean." You giggled at his reaction.

"But you choose to be mean now? Starting to regret joining you guys." He dragged out his words with sarcasm. You just hit his shoulder with the back of your hand and made your way into the second store.

You three roamed through a few more stores after that, choosing to just appreciate what the stores held and hold onto your wallets for the rest of the day. It was nice to be downtown after staying in practically the middle of nowhere for some time, especially with the two of them. It gave you a chance to bond with Jake, which was appreciated since you two have never been as close. He resembled his brother a lot more than you remembered, and it was a nice touch to his personality that you admired.

Once the afternoon was coming to a close end, you all decided on grabbing some food for you three and Josh and head back to the lake house, hopping into Josh's Jeep and taking the long way back. The weather was cooler, the sun giving your burnt skin a rest for the remainder of the day and leaving you with a soft breeze every now and then as an apology. All you could do on the drive was breathe in the fresh air and reminisce on the scent you attached to home. You didn't care that your hair was slapping your neck with the wind; it was kind of comforting.

Upon arrival, you were the first to enter the house and noticed Josh was laid on his back on the couch, a book resting open on his clothed chest with his head rolled onto his shoulder. His breathing steady and the book rising and falling which each inhale and exhale, his eyes resting shut peacefully. His fro of hair straying in different directions. His most vulnerable state was one you didn’t want to shake, so you just chose to gawk there at him for a moment. You didn't quite see the book he was reading, because you just chose to watch with your back rested on the wall that enclosed the living room.

Jake entered next, carrying the plastic bag that held the products you bought from the first store and a brown bag with food inside. He absentmindedly set everything on the island in the kitchen before noticing you lost in thought. You seemed to have forgotten you were staring admirably at Josh, and Jake came over to see what had your attention.

He walked quietly next to you and saw what caught your eye, standing next to you with folded arms.

"Should we wake him?" You looked over to him and spoke in a whisper.

"Yeah, I got it." He said with a sigh. He crept over to Josh, kneeling down to meet the level of his brother and shaking him a few times. Unstirred by his motions, only groaning by the touch, Jake leaned into his brother's ear and whispered something incoherent to you, then shaking him once more. You had never seen him be so warm to his brother, and the sight itself made your heart melt.

Josh turned into Jake's face, eyes fluttering open as the book on his chest dropped to the ground loudly. The proximity shocked him, eyes widening and pushing his brother away from him. The motion caused Jake to fall back onto his behind, stifling a laugh.

"What time is it?" He groaned, bringing his eyes to the back of his hand.

"Around 4. Have a good nap, princess?" He chuckled as he watched Josh unravel from his sleep.

"Shut up," he groaned, sitting up and facing his brother, "is everyone else back?"

Jake looked towards you, and Josh followed his eyes. Sam had just entered the room, bringing in the rest of the bags and setting them next to where Jake had left his own and your belongings.

"Have a good trip?" Josh looked to you with a soft smile.

"Yeah. You would've loved the stores we went to. Seems like you just wanted an excuse to sleep, though."

"He's either up until 2 AM or going to sleep at 8." Sam chimed in while unpacking the sandwiches he bought.

"And tonight, I choose to stay up until 2 AM, thank you very much." He looked back to Sam, then met your eyes. Jake had watched the small exchange between you two and chose to ignore it to go join his younger brother in the kitchen. It seemed as though he was watching you guys more intently than usual, and that was something you started to pick up on.

Josh stood up with his hands stretched to the air, his shirt rising just above his belly button, then running his hands through his hair with a shake as he made his way over to you.

"What'd you guys get?" He pointed over to the array of bags.

"For food, we found a deli and decided to grab that to go. And as for shopping, I just got two new necklaces. Sam got a few shirts, and I don't think Jake got anything."

"Jake doesn't shop much, so I'm not surprised," he laughed, "let me see what you got."

You brought him over to your white plastic bag as Sam and Jake sat at the dining table, eating and chatting amongst themselves while you rummaged through your bag and pulled out your necklaces.

You first showed him the turquoise one you first picked out, and he held his hand out to examine it closer.

He admired it with a soft smile. "I like this. It'd look great on you." He set it back into your hands and waited for the next one.

"Thank you," you smiled as you pulled out the mala beads, "these just reminded me of you."

Your words had his smile rising to his eyes as you pulled out the necklace and handing it to him. His eyes lit up with awe, turning the beads in his hands and stroking the tassel at the end with his fingers. Even though these kinds of necklaces were a signature look for him, he felt appreciated that you thought of him and remembered that he loved mala beads.

He lifted his eyes up to you. "This is beautiful! God, where did you find this?"

"In the first antique shop we went to. I figured you'd like it, so I bought it for you." You threw the plastic bag away and watched his head violently shake.

"No, no, I can't take this. How much did this cost you?" His face contorted with confusion and wonder.

"Like $40. Was worth it, though." You smiled at him and nodded to the necklace. "I want you to have it."

"I can't accept this." He lent his hand towards you, and you just pushed it towards his chest, closing his fingers into the necklace and resting your hand on top of his fist.

"I insist, Josh. It's not my style, anyways."

"Let me at least pay you back." His head tilted to the side, his voice slightly lightened.

"No, you don't have to do that. Just the fact that you like it is payback enough." You gave him a satisfied smile and grabbed your sandwich to join the other two at the table.

Sam had finished the sandwich he got, crumpling the paper in his hands and joining you guys at the table after throwing it away. Josh had sat in front of you, already wearing the necklace, and eating with a wide grin on his face.

Sam leaned towards you and motioned his hand towards Josh. "Isn't that the necklace you bought?"

"Yeah, but he liked it so much, I just chose to give it to him." You looked at him with a shrug.

"He's got hundreds of those, y'know?" He furrowed his brows.

"It's fine, Sam. It's just a stupid necklace. Are you jealous I didn't buy you something?"

He shook his head slowly and folded his arms, hands pressing flat under his armpits. "Shouldn't have wasted your money. We could've bought that stuff for you instead."

You were relieved with the idea that he wasn't upset about you giving it to him, rather that it was a money issue. His demeanor was a bit tense, but you just chose to shrug it off. You weren’t caught off guard when you sensed the jealousy, even though he was trying his best to mask it. You felt like it was a regrettable decision; it would've been better to give Josh the necklace later in the night when you two were one on one, but then again, you decided to stop caring. It was just a simple gesture, and it wasn't like you hadn't boughten them gifts before.

Even though guilt punched at your gut, you just continued to eat in silence, making small talk with the rest of the group and finishing your meal slowly. You just focused on how Sam sat there, eyes fixated on nothing in particular. He was closed off. You thought about giving him the necklace you bought for yourself, but you figured he'd know it was a pity gift, so you decided against it.

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As if the fire couldn't die down any sooner, you just bounced your leg on the ground as you watched the smoke rise, embers of ash falling every now and then off the side of the pit and warming your bodies with its flames.

Sam seemed to go back to normal after he sat next to you, joking about something that happened on your guys' trip and saying he enjoyed the time you three spent together. You let yourself feel relieved that he chose to just let it go, mainly because there was nothing to be upset about.

Jake left his guitar inside the lake house and chose relaxation for the night. Him and Josh were caught up in some sort of conversation, while you just watched the fire burn at the cardboard and wood thrown into the pit.

"Something on your mind?" Sam tapped his fingers on your own that laid flat on the arm of the chair.

You whipped your head over to him with a questioned hum.

"I don't think you've blinked for at least a minute," slight concern rested on his face, "was just wondering if you were alright."

You pressed your lips together. "Oh, just a bit tired, that's all. Nothing really to do or say out here."

"Yeah, it's more just to help wind down and get out of the house more." He shrugged. "We can ditch them, y'know?"

"I feel glued to this chair." You groaned and threw your head back into the back of the chair.

"You're lame." He said with a grunt as he stood up, tapping your shoulder and walking off without another word and his bottle raised to his lips.

Your eyes followed him disappear into the lake house, then back to resting on the fire that struggled to stay alive. You noticed Josh's eyes on you from your peripheral, so you tried to catch them, but ended up watching his eyes avert away as he raised his beer bottle to his lips. You laughed to yourself, noticing that Jake had a wide smirk plastered on his face with a shake of his head.

"What's so funny?" You sat up from your chair with folded arms.

"Nothing you should worry about." Jake shrugged, looking over at his brother before choosing to stand from his chair. "See you two tomorrow."

You cocked your brow at Josh. His eyes followed his brother, then fell to his hands. He fiddled with his fingers, clicking his teeth and bouncing his leg. He was frantic, a bit more than usual.

You decided to push yourself out of your chair and stand in front of Josh. His leg stopped bouncing, and his eyes lifted to yours with a light smile.

"You gonna tell me what you and Jake were talking about?" You let her head tilt to the side.

He examined your face for a moment. His mouth parted slightly, exhaling a laugh and looking away from you for only a second.

"Oh, just him being immature. Nothing important." He stood from his chair.

You only let yourself take one step back to allow him room to stand, but that didn't decrease the proximity between you two. You felt your heart thumping against your chest and allowing itself to be heard in your ears. Your eyes fell to his parted lips, quickly shooting them back to his eyes that lingered on your own mouth. Your mind was sent into a daze, any thought possible bombarding your brain with what to do next. How to move.

You swallowed hard, taking another look at his lips that you noticed were plumper than you thought and a shade of rouge pink. "Still want to go to the beach?"

"Yeah, yeah, let me just grab my keys." He nodded, placing his hand on your shoulder and left you stood in front of the plastic chair he sat at, with your mind still trying to comprehend the small moment you convinced yourself was an intimate one.

You decided to wait by the Jeep, replaying every detail you were able to examine of his face. You could call yourself crazy for obsessing over the way his face was sculpted, but you couldn't find it in you to care. During most of this trip, you didn't let yourself remember every part of him that your mind decided was good to memorize. Like the way he entered a room, or the way his hips lightly swayed when he walked. Or the way his tongue would peak out from his pressed lips when he was in thought. Or even how his eyebrows twisted and contorted when he spoke, especially when he spoke or told some witted joke that made himself laugh. His slight dimples that poked out with a smile followed by light wrinkles forming around his toothy grin. All these things you remembered, but all of it weren't things you'd allow yourself to forget. You didn't want to forget any of it at all, despite knowing how Sam would feel if he could read your mind.

Josh came outside, bouncing the keys in his hands and hopped into the Jeep without saying a word to you. You let yourself get into the passenger seat and watched out the open window as you drove away from the lake house.

It felt fun to risk doing something that you know Sam wouldn't appreciate, or, in a way something you shouldn't have been doing. You didn't necessarily care that you were going out with Josh, since you two were just friends, but something felt different than it did when you and him were driving off to a secluded area. It was as if the air had shifted and decided to fill your body with nervousness, but in a good, excited way. It had your fingers tapping on the window's armrest, and your eyes flicking at the scenery that passed you and Josh by on the drive. You and him didn't say anything to each other, but rather let the wind speak for the both of you.

It didn't seem like a far drive. You figured it was because your mind was just caught wandering about everything and nothing, all at once. So, when the car bumped over the grains of sand that lined the beach, your eyes immediately shot to Josh. His smile was light as he kept his hands tight on the steering wheel, parking his car close to where the waters kissed the sand. He immediately hopped out, jogging over to your side and opening the door for you with his palm opened wide to you.

"Josh, I didn't-."

"We're not going swimming, don't worry," he chuckled, "just get out of the car."

You placed your hand in his as you hopped out, keeping your hand enveloped in his when he led you to the front of the Jeep. He removed his hand from yours and hopped onto the hood. You followed right after him, bringing your knees to your chest as you watched the current smoothly rise to the shoreline with a light crash, then softly recede back.

"Oh, I brought gifts." He exclaimed, digging into his pocket and setting down a lighter between you two, and a rolled-up cigarette packed with marijuana.

"Weed, huh?" You looked down at the joint, then back to him as he gave you a proud nod.

"Been saving this for a special occasion." He picked it up between his pointer finger and thumb. "You don't have to smoke, if you don't want to."

"No, no, it's fine. I haven't indulged in a while, so maybe this is a good time to do it again." You smiled at him widely.

You watched his lips wrap around the end of the joint and lit it with his black lighter, inhaling sharply and pulling it from his lips. He held his hand in front of you with the joint as he exhaled the smoke and titled his head back with shut eyes.

You twisted it in your fingers for a moment and pulled it to your lips, taking a small inhale and exhaling with a hard cough. You quickly passed the joint back to him as you covered your mouth with your forearm and shaking your head.

"You smoke weed often?" You said with a strained voice.

"Not as often as I used to, but yeah. We all drink more than we smoke when we're on tour, but I know Sam smokes a lot more than we all do nowadays." He nodded, taking another drag of the joint.

"Guess that's another thing that changed while you've guys have been gone." You shrugged and decided one more hit wouldn't kill you.

His eyes lingered on you as you exhaled the smoke and handed it back to him. You could feel your mind overtaking your body and nerves with relaxation. Your limbs felt heavy, and you recognized the quick change to be the drug finally hitting you.

"Noticed you put on the necklace. I really do like it on you." His hand motioned to the turquoise beads that hung over your white tank top.

"Figured if you were wearing yours, maybe I should put mine on." You spoke. Silence roamed between you two, but only for a short fraction of time.

"So, you had a good time with Jake and Sam today?" He sprawled his hands on the hood of the Jeep, with the joint resting between the inner of his pointer and middle fingers.

"Yeah, I did. Was nice to talk to Jake. Don't talk with him a lot, so it was nice." You looked over to him with a smile. "Feel a bit bad I didn't tell Sam about this."

He looked at you with a confused expression, pressing his lips together and exhaling a quiet laugh.

"You shouldn't. He's not the boss of you. You're your own person, you know." He extended his hand to you as he spoke, then rested it onto the hood as he lifted the joint to his lips.

"You told Jake we were going out, didn't you?"

"Can't keep anything from him. Besides, I don't want Sam getting upset with either of us for no reason, so Jake is just gonna make up some excuse for us if Sam asks him where we're at."

You pressed your lips together and scoffed. You let your eyes fall to the ocean as you just laughed. Laughed because your body didn't let you feel upset.

"It's funny that we've got to sneak around like this. Can't be friends with you because Sam thinks there's something going on. You know, Jake said something today to me about how we're lucky that Sam doesn't notice that you come into my room every night."

"He knows I come see you after everyone goes to sleep?" He chuckled, shaking his head as he inhaled another hit of his blunt.

"Yeah, surprised you didn't tell him since you seem to share everything with him," you laughed along with him, "I told him he was a stalker."

His laughter grew as he pinched the bridge of his nose, finishing the rolled-up cigarette and flicking it into the sand. "Jake's an interesting man."

You let the laughter die down and tune into the sound of the ocean crashing. It made your body feel heavier than it already had felt. You had forgotten how peaceful the drug was, and how it had you on a euphoric high that you were glad to feel once again.

You felt his hooded eyes on you, and you let your head turn and meet them with a downturned smile.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" You huffed a laugh.

He inhaled deeply, whilst exhaling his words. "Can I tell you something?"

"Shoot."

"I'm glad we've been able to hang out a lot. I don't think I've enjoyed myself with someone with as much as I've had with you." He gave you a light smile.

Although his words were cheesy, it had your heart sinking in your chest and residing in the pit of your stomach. Your emotions had seemingly heightened more, and you didn't care that the muscles of your face hurt from your cheeks flushing red. Blame it on the marijuana for letting yourself look at him the way you always do in secret.

"The feeling is mutual," you nodded with a smile, "I mean, we haven't been able to hang out as much with you guys being on tour all the time and Sam always getting in the way. It's nice that things are different this time around."

He hummed in agreement. "Was a bit funny to see him blow up at the lake, though."

"Yeah, I still don't even know what that was all about. Stupid to be upset over riding in the same fucking kayak as you." You laughed, raising your hands into the air.

"It's because he knows that I had a thing for you." He stated blankly, as if this piece of information was something you already knew.

Your eyes widened at his words, with your brain picking at each part of the sentence. I. Had. A thing. For you. You couldn't help your jaw unhinge when he said that to you. All he did was laugh at your expression, but you felt yourself fully sober up. The familiar feeling of your body tingling, heart pounding against your chest and trying to leap out to graze his own, you going without blinking because you were in such a state of astonishment. What were you supposed to say to that? How were you supposed to feel about that?

You didn't know what part was more interesting to you: the fact that he had a thing for you, or that he had a thing for you. When was the point in time where his thoughts matched yours? Did your mind completely obliviate you to how he felt when he did have feelings for you? Or did they never just go away? It was as if he just wanted to see how you would react, as if this was some sort of joke. But he just let you relish in the new information, and let it fully consume your mind with countless thoughts and memories that were meshing together and unable to give you a coherent thought.

The only word that you were able to form and sound from your mouth was, "What?"

"You wonder why Sam started getting a bit more aggressive when it came to you and I hanging out. Or, why Jake laughs at us because he knows how I felt," he chuckled to himself, "can't believe you never knew." He kept his eyes on you and continued watching your lips trying to utter a sound.

"You never-you," you stuttered out, "you liked me? This isn't some joke, is-."

"No, no I'm being honest. Maybe it's the drugs that gave me the confidence to tell you how I felt. Figured it would come up sooner or later. Helps explain to you why Sam has been kind of childish recently." He gave you a weak shrug.

Felt, not feel. Felt. You realized you had missed your chance, as if you were given one anyways. Sam didn't cross your mind for a second. All you could think about was how there was a point in time that Josh liked you. You felt like you were granted a boost of energy, although your head began to pound with too many combining thoughts and forming a light headache. Josh didn't tell you because of Sam. Josh didn't tell you because he figured you'd choose your best friend over him. Didn't matter if you had feelings for him or not, he just saved himself the heartbreak he thought he was bound to undergo.

"Why didn't you tell me how you felt?" Your mouth continued to hang open with your eyes nearly poking out from their sockets.

"Why do you think?" He laughed at you. He didn't need to answer your question. You knew the answer: Sam.

This wasn't enough. You needed closure. That would finally set your fantasies of a possible relationship with Josh at bay and finally relieve you of thinking that you two could work it out somehow.

"Do you," you began hesitantly with a shaky voice, "do you still feel that way about me?"

His eyes lowered down to his lap, and he pressed his lips together tightly. With his tongue grazing over his bottom lip to help open his mouth, he just looked away from you for a moment before returning his eyes to yours.

"I've said too much," he swallowed, "I don't think I should've told you in the first place. I'm sorry."

So, all he could say was sorry and that he shouldn't have told you? What were you supposed to do with the lingering idea that he shut the conversation down because he still liked you? You expected closure from this. You expected him to give you the slightest bit of information to give you a straight-forward answer. But he was unable to do so.

You cocked your head to the side with your mouth finally deciding to shut. All you could do was scoff at how easily he pulled away from being vulnerable. He didn't want to hurt you, and continuing with how he felt would've made you feel as such. He ruined a perfectly good night with his feelings, and it riddled him with embarrassment. Not embarrassed of his feelings, but embarrassed that he brought up something that didn't need to be spoken out loud. A second ago he believed that it would come up in the future, but now, he figured that it wouldn't ever be talked about.

"Think you should take me back, then." You muttered, hopping off the hood of the Jeep and sitting in the passenger seat. He came into the car a few moments later and drove from the beach back to the lake house.

Just like on the way there, you two didn't speak to each other. Except this time, the air had turned to make you feel uncomfortable. You were left with this information and unsure of what to do with it. You couldn't just talk to Sam about it and ask for his advice, and you frankly couldn't go to anyone about this. You had never told anyone how you felt about Josh, mainly because of fear your secret would somehow reach Sam. Now all you could do was feel angry at yourself for not noticing Josh's mood change towards you when he liked you, and frustrated that Sam steered Josh away from you.

You let yourself out of the car silently upon arriving back to the lake house, dragging your feet up the driveway and quietly opening the door. You didn't acknowledge whether Josh had followed you in or not, but the wooden floorboards creaking behind you told you that he followed you until they grew lighter and only your footsteps were heard.

You just continued to the stairs, stepping onto the first step until Josh said, "I do."

You haltered your movements, shooting your head up towards the stairs and then turning your body towards him slowly.

"What?"

"You asked me if I still had feelings for you. I do." His eyes averted from yours only for a moment before he looked up and saw your face soften.

You took cautious steps towards where he stood in the living room. It was as if he was waiting for you to meet him when you were ready, and he didn't move a single muscle to let you grow nearer to him.

"You do?" You whispered to him. Your eyes rested into a mixture of awe and shock. You were unable to pick how you felt.

"Yeah, yeah I do." He ran his hand to the back of his neck.

Any anger towards him swept away from your mind. You were filled with content and a hint of excitement. By the looks of his face, by the way he stood, by the way he spoke, he was serious. And that only made you more eager to meet him in the living room.

He didn’t tear his eyes from you as you moved closer to him, closing the proximity between you two as your hand raised hesitantly to his cheek, the other following shortly after to cup his face into your palms. His fingers wrapped around your wrist, the other hand finding your cheek and holding contact with your eyes. Neither of you wanted to look anywhere else, or blink away the moment that unfolded in front of you two.

"God, Josh," you laughed, resting your forehead onto his own and letting your eyes fall shut. "I have felt the same way about you for such a long time. I just didn't know how to tell you, or when to."

"Because of Sam." He pulled away from you slightly just enough to see the entirety of your face.

All you could do was nod. He didn't need a verbal response to acknowledge his suspicions. His reasoning for not telling you was the same as yours. So, you two just stood there and breathed in each other's air and lost yourself in each other's eyes. You both were too shy to make another move and unsure if it was right.

"I think why I didn't tell you was because I was too scared to. Didn't matter to me how you felt, because I knew in the end Sam would fuck it all up, and I didn't want to risk losing you." He cupped your cheeks as he spoke to you. "If things were different, I would've told you sooner."

"So why tell me now?"

"I just, I don't know. Figured we could forget about everything for a moment and just let things take its course. Figure out how to tell Sam and all of that shit later." He rubbed your burning cheek with his thumb. "I wanted you to know because I just thought that maybe we could work things out, despite how my brother feels. You can't control who you are attracted to, so why should it matter what he thinks, y'know?"

He had the same thoughts as you. Thinking that you two could work it out and just leave Sam out of it. After all, you were your own person, and Sam didn't control you. There was no guilt in your body when you told Josh how you felt, and no guilt in your body for wanting to kiss him. When were you going to get this chance again? You knew they would be leaving after the summer ended, and you begged the Earth to give you more time. But there wasn't enough. You just had to live in the present and ignore what the future withheld.

"Sam doesn't get to pick who I fall for." You shook your head and laughed to yourself that you were finally letting yourself make your own decisions and be your own person. Forgetting how he felt about you two, because the underlying reason for his actions and his emotions was because he knew that there was a chance you two would end up together, and he feared he would lose you to his brother. You weren't going to let him stand in the way of you and your feelings any longer, and finally give in to what your heart craved most.

Josh tilted his head to the side lightly, gazing at your parted lips before flicking his eyes to you as a silent ask to kiss you.

"Are you sure you want to do this, y/n?"

"Why would I not be okay with this?" You released a small, airy laugh.

"Because I don't want to take a step back after this and forget it happened. We can figure out how to tell Sam later, but I just want to know that you're okay with the fact that we have to be secretive about this for a little while."

"Josh, I really don't care how Sam feels right now, at least not anymore. I've been waiting too fucking long for this to happen, and I'm not going to miss my chance of doing something that I know I won't regret." You pulled your bottom lip into your teeth and watched his lips rest into a soft smile of acceptance that you were okay with everything.

You leaned into his motions to give into the dream you've wanted so desperately to occur, fluttering your eyes shut and letting yourself be surprised with the feeling of his lips on yours.

And once his plush lips finally melted with yours, you couldn't describe the emotion you felt. You sharply inhaled, letting your throat bubble out a quiet whimper of thankfulness. It was as close to true euphoria anything could be, fireworks booming in your head with excitement as a cheer that after all these years, after all the nights you stayed awake thinking about Josh, after all the time you thought he would never like you, he was finally kissing you with intent.

The taste of his mouth on yours was as addictive as a drug. It was a cliché thought, but you didn't care what you thought at this point. All you were focused on were the motions of his lips with yours, his soft breathing, and the way his hands sunk into your skin like they were meant to be there.

You felt the hand that wrapped around your wrist unravel and fall to your waist, bringing you closer to his body as his lips stayed connected onto yours. You just kept your hands on the soft skin of his cheeks to remind your palms and fingertips that his lips were on yours, opening and closing his mouth in a slow pattern to match your motions. You even let yourself take a quick peak at his face, eyes shut and brows furrowed with passion, before you let your eyes rest and just soak in the moment a little longer.

He pulled away from your lips and let his change in breathing be heard to you. He placed his hand on top of yours that rested onto his cheek, pulling it into his palm and holding it at his side. You had never felt as connected to someone as you did in this moment, and you never wanted to break away from it. Quite frankly, you weren't sure what to do or say with what had just happened. Things were now completely different between you two, and you both had acknowledged that. It was just a bit more real after the significant event that had just happened.

You finally looked at him, his lips resting into a soft smile as he admired your face with the caress of his empty hand.

"I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" He whispered to you, eyes peaking at your lips once more.

You nodded with a hum and pressed your lips onto his delicately before pulling yourself away from his touch, although you never wanted to leave it in the first place. You two just gave each other one more smile before turning your backs on one another and parting ways for the night.

You entered your room quietly, pressing your back against the closed door and covering your mouth as you let out an excited laugh. You were still in disbelief that this all wasn't a dream. You even considered pinching yourself to remind you that this was not some sort of twisted fantasy, but reality.

You had tried to fall asleep, tossing and turning in your bed with the aching feeling of missing his touch. Although it had been a matter of minutes since he kissed you, you couldn't get enough. You had fully let your feelings consume you and had forgotten that Sam would not be thrilled about this news. But you couldn't find it in yourself to care, and let it be a problem of tomorrow as you finally found yourself comfortable in your sheets that yours and Josh's relationship was changed to the better, and where you've wanted it to be for so many years.

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

a/n: hi! if you’ve read this far, i just want to give you a quick thank you for following/keeping up with this series! i adore it so much:) this marks the halfway point, so it’s a p big milestone. with this release, i plan on having at least eight parts, if not, nine. hopefully by part 7 i’ll have it figured out, and i’ll update you guys on the future and end of this series. alright, that’s all. love you, reader. 🫶🏻

taglist: @gvfleetwood @sacredjake @aureatopia @myeyehurtz @alexiagx @objectsinspvce @unhappycylinder @spinthehemmo @carbonwritingthroughtime @thecoldwind @ageofsophgvf @fakeplastiqtree @thepritchardscale @gvfpal @light-myluv @raviolilegs @jordierama @alwayskiszka

-part five-

[nayarablueglasses]

Duo x male reader

a/n: oh gods this is so. anyways this was meant for day thirteen of the @gundam-wing-pride event but certain circumstances have caused me to be unable to post in time for it. the tears prompt was kept in mind for this, i hope it suffices.

word count: 2,059

summary: horrific battles never made you cry, so how did a joke from Duo manage to do it?

warnings: reader is in an active war at first, brief mentions of reader becoming deaf to loud sounds after the battle, reader has a very dry way of thinking, i haven't seen the entirety of the show in ages so i think my timeline is a little messed up

reader pronouns: he/him but comes off as gn

How’d you end up here?

You’d woken up to the extremely jarring sounds of the space station’s evacuation alarms. Considering the immediate panicking masses of people that then flooded the streets, it wasn’t the best way to wake up. Especially when you factor in that your first evacuation drill since the ‘safe space’ had been rebuilt, relocated and refortified was supposed to happen next week. Though to be fair, there were absolutely no signs that you knew of that would signal a a war erupting on your colony.

Honestly? You never were impressed by the Gundams. All you knew about them was that they were starting a war with what a few of the colonies had begun to call the “colony rebels.” The White Fang. Maybe the White Fang had started the war, but you could care less. No matter who’d started this, the colonies- your colony- was caught in the crossfires now.

And it wasn’t like you could trust the Gundams, either. It wasn’t that long ago that Gundam Pilot 04 almost blew up an entire colony because their father had been killed. If that was how the Gundams handled personal loss, your colony could only speculate on the ways they’d deal with the political difficulties of a war. And unsurprisingly, it turned out that they handled it absolutely terribly.

The scariest part was the absolute absurdness of the whole war. Two sides that claimed to speak for the colonies. The White Fang pressed attention on the colonies, while the Gundams remained an absolute mystery. Plus, the individual power struggles claiming the colonies, the Treize Faction war against Oz that was reportedly occuring back on Earth... everybody was misinformed about absolutely all of it, and the best you could do was try to make sense of the chaos unfolding and hope it never touched your poor colony.

But wishes don’t always come true. And certainly never the wishes you make.

Like the wish you’d been repeating back to yourself for the last hour- to be able to come out of this unscathed. Your arm had some thoughts on that.

As it turns out, trying to run through an active warzone to the safe space you didn’t know the location of was extremely dangerous. So dangerous that your arm had been hit with a stray bullet. Right now the main dangers were the footsoldiers firing at each other, but not that far off in the distance you could see two of the Gundams fighting a swarm of Taruses. The fact that they weren’t close was anything but comforting, since you’d seen the speed of the Gundams before on T.V.

Oh.

“Hey- get outta the way! Ya try’na get killed?” A White Fang footsoldier shoved you to the side, presumably trying to help. Instead you stumbled facedown into a very large pile of scrap metal. Which very much hurt your arm and effectively trapped your leg as well.

Fun. “The fuck kinda horror movie is this?” You muttered to yourself. Of course, of course you ran directly into the fray. Because of COURSE that was safer than the opposite direction (which in all fairness had been covered in sharp-looking rubble). That’s fine. You could work with this. What did your uncle usually tell you- take inventory in terms of crises?

You hadn’t brought a backpack with you, so, all you could take inventory on was what was in your pockets. One elastic, a single outdated coin, and fuzz. Plus, a bleeding arm and the bullet you figured was still in there, a possibly twisted and hopefully not broken foot, ringing in your ears... and the clothes on your back. Ok.

So this is how you die? Fine. That’s fucking fine. You had plenty to live for, but fine. Who cares?

“Woah-hoh, what the hell? Hey- hey handsome, you awake?”

A very neon green light pierced your consciousness. Out of habit, you tried to raise your arm to block it out- and then an even more painful, piercing feeling jolted through your whole body. “Ahh-huah- ‘m. ‘m awake now. Ohhh gods. Yeah. ‘m- yeah. Fuck. Who’re you and are you going to help me or kill me?”

“Kill you? Man, I might be the god of Death and all but I’m not going to kill you! You related to Heero or somethin’?”

“Don’t know- ow- who the fuck that is. What’s up with that green light shit> ‘M gonna be blinded if I open my eyes.”

And there the light went. Nice. If this guy didn’t kill you, you might actually survive. Sans your arm. Nobody on your colony could help your arm. You figured that life would be interesting from now on. “Great, thanks man. Fuuuuck. You- you see my arm? Yeah- I’m taking your silence as a yeah. This bitch’s fucked and moving at all is very very painful. So hey random stranger. You strong enough to carry me to the nearest amputator?”

Apparently you were just being dramatic. Your arm would 100% be still attached and your foot would survive. Your ears were… fine. After waking up in a hospital on an entirely different colony station, you learned that apparently, there exists a kind of deaf in which it was hard to hear things that were too loud. Which. You now had.

No more concerts. Meh.

The most jarring of everything was when you discovered that a) you were likely to have either trauma or ptsd and b) the guy that carried you to the hospital in his Gundam- was a Gundam Pilot. 02. Duo Maxwell. He’d brought you to Colony 14 Blue and was now reportedly “chillin’ outside until you get discharged.” with the promise that he’d bring you to the Peacemillion afterwards.

Oh. And almost everybody you knew closely had “likely” passed away in the attack. The therapy for that was going to be interesting when you consider that nobody of your family was on the colony at the time of the attack. Honestly the way they were pressing for you to be evaled made it feel like they were planning to make an example out of your supposedly poor mental state. Unsurprisingly the hospital was being run by the White Fang.

Discharge went quickly. The ride back to Duo’s Deathscythe went quickly. The ride in Duo’s Deathscythe went far, far too slowly. And adjusting to life on the Peacemillion went poorly.

Every now and again, Duo would look for you and, if he hadn’t immediately come from a fight (he passed out on your carpet once due to blood loss after being in a gunfight. Zechs was less than appreciative.), he’d bring you to the nearest colony. Being able to enjoy a day out on occasion was a rarity you usually only got to experience with Duo.

“Ooooi, Duo. Check these out. Tell me these aren’t the coolest gloves you’ve ever seen.” You held up some black fingerless gloves for him to inspect. He’d brought you to a new colony, where apparently a special holiday (complete with fun sales) was happening. Admittedly, some of the people on this station were giving you and Duo some especially strange looks whenever Duo would tug on your shirt or grab your hand to get your attention but like. Fuck them.

“Hey, those look pretty awesome!” he grinned and bounced over, snatching the gloves from your hands to look for a price tag. “To steal or not to steal, that is the question.”

You raised an eyebrow. So maybe the crush you’d developed on this overgrown child of a thief was growing. So what? It’s just a crush. Everything’s going to be fine. “Is the price tag expensive or something?”

Duo shook his head. “Exact opposite. There isn’t one.”

“Let’s just leave ten gilla and bolt, then.”

“...wicked.”

Normally the rides back home were silent and awkward, but after the rather exciting day you’d had, you were feeling especially chatty. Which wasn’t to say that there weren’t still awkward breaks in the conversation. It was quiet, sure, but a lot of things had been quiet lately. Being deaf to louder things tended to do that to a person.

Duo drew you out of your thoughts with another tug on your sleeve and pressed one of the gloves into your hand. “Here. Figured we’d both look badass with just one glove. Plus we match!” He held up his gloved left hand with an air of confidence. He wasn’t wrong, honestly. Wearing his braid the way he did, he already cut an impressive figure, but the gloves really sold the look.

You pulled on the glove he gave you, flexing your fingers to test it’s flexibility. After all, if you couldn’t engage in you and Duo’s elaborate handshake, you might have to ditch the glove altogether. Luckily the glove fit you well- functionality and style alike. Ten gilla spent well.

“Not bad. Y’think Zechs’ll get jealous?” Duo laughed at the idea.

“Doubtful, doesn’t he have Noin to get him cool stuff? Plus, I think his mask and that hair are defining accessories, what else does he need?”

You shrugged. “What gay wouldn’t love these? ‘M already enjoying mine ‘nd yours look more worn in than mine do. Solid fuckin’ proof right there.” Not like you could confirm or deny that Duo was gay. Honestly, you didn’t really care for his specific labels, but Zechs was definitely gay so it just helped further the joke. With his demeanor and his lesbian best friend? Could the flags get any gayer.

“More like pansexual on my account. Good to know your take on gender preference though. This mean I’m allowed to openly flirt with you now?” He leaned back into his seat, throwing his feet up onto the table in front of you and resting his head in his hands.

You raised an eyebrow. “Only if you promise not to ‘no homo’ me afterwards.” Duo pretended to fall backwards, clutching at the nonexistent pearls and acting offended. You two giggled when Sally came in from the cockpit to assure herself that somebody hadn’t just gotten a concussion. To which Duo immediately pretended to have a head wound of some sorts (you suspected he was being purposely vague) in hopes of attaining the candy that Sally sometimes had on hand.

Once she left (leaving you and Duo with strong warnings against fooling around more, lest Duo’s “head injury” get worse; to which you had saluted and replied, “absolutely no promises, ma’am!”) you shared a look with the brunette and tried to keep from dissolving into a fit of laughter. To your chagrin, it was a fail. You were laughing so hard that your stomach was starting to genuinely hurt. Duo was doubled over on the ground, wheezing unintelligible words and trying to hand you the lollipop that Sally gave him.

By the time you had managed to calm down and breathe, Duo was getting into the chair beside you and clutching his side. “I think I pulled a muscle from laughing so hard.”

“Yeesh, ‘m crying from laughin’ so much. Aah, this is what y’do to me.” You joked, wiping away tears from the corners of your eyes.

“Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry before,” Duo paused to think. “like, at all! Now that I think about it, didja even cry when I rescued you?” You shrugged again. The battlefield was pretty terrifying and if you hadn’t found it in you to cry from fear… well, you were feeling a lot of emotions during the whole ordeal. Who could really blame you? “Pretty tough that a fuckin battle didn’t even make you cry. Hey- my bit musta been pretty damn good to make you shed a tear!”

“Yeah, don’t let it get to y’head. ‘S just because ‘m crushin on you.” You mentioned casually, testing the waters.

“Full homo?”

“Full homo.”

Well, would you look at that. Now Duo was crying. What was with you two and tears today?

BONUS:

“You’re so cheesy.” You muttered to Duo, who was proudly holding up your guys’s fingerless gloves- which he had sewn a rainbow patch onto the back of.

He smiled, tugging your glove onto your hand. “Mhm. You love it though.”

Sighing, you returned the favour and pulled his glove onto his right hand. “You’re right. I love it. I love you.”

[all works found under the name "nayarablueglasses" are property of nayarablueglasses. please do not repost, claim as your own, or edit. i do not consent for my works to be part of any social media other then tumblr, including having my works be adapted for asmrs.]