#that's already pretty bad like how do you share something like that with 75 strangers. then a lot of ppl started hyping him up

[bakingmoomins]

some days i do wonder how some people don't understand the principles of privacy and consent

[dahbeez]

1. "You're such a dork."

2. "Get over here, you doof."

3. "Cheeky."

4. "You're so needy."

5. "Kiss me again."

6. "You're so adorable!"

7. "Look at you... goodness, you're so cute!"

8. "I'm just so happy!"

9. "I can't stop smiling."

10. "I like that you make me laugh so much that my cheeks hurt."

11. "You are being extra sweet today."

12. "Oh, look at you!"

13. "Your eyes are so pretty."

14. "I'm really happy that you're here with me."

15. "Thank you for staying with me."

16. "I don't think I've ever loved someone this much before."

17. "I feel like I'm in the clouds when I'm with you."

18. "You're like my hero/heroine."

19. "I'm gonna tickle you if you don't come over here."

20. "My, oh my. You are such a beautiful creature."

@drink-it-write-it​

21. "Go with me?" "As long as you hold my hand."

22. "Is there a reason you're blushing like that?"

23. "Have you seen my hoodie?" "Nooooo..." "You're wearing it, aren't you?"

24. "OH you're jealous!"

25. "Can we stay like this forever?"

26. "Please just kiss me already."

27. "I think you might be my soulmate."

28. "Sleep over? Please?"

29. "Are we on a date right now?"

30. "I think I'm in love with you."

31. "Are you flirting with me?" "You finally noticed?"

32. "Am I your lockscreen?" "You weren't supposed to see that."

33. "I wish we could live together already."

34. "They're so cute when they're asleep."

35. "I just wanted to let you know that I think you're beautiful."

36. "Quit touching me, your feet are cold!"

37. "Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!"

38. "Give me attention."

39. "You met me yesterday." "Yes, and I would die for you. Next question."

40. "She's hiding behind the sofa."

41. "Did you just hiss at me?"

@wishiwasanavenger-archive​

42. "Have you kissed anyone before?"

43. "Can I kiss you?"

44. "You're not hurting me, you're not heavy. I've got you, love.” 

45. "I look at them and I just... it's like when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes."

46. "I don't... I've never... been in a relationship before and I'm going to make mistakes... I just need you to tell me. I need you to talk to me."

47. "You didn't tell me your friend was cute! Now what am I going to do?"

48. "You give me a reason to be better, to do better."

49. "God, you are so fucking cute."

50. "I love you, but I need you to go away because you're really bloody distracting and I have to pass this test tomorrow."

51. "Oh no... they're cute."

52. "I can't talk to cute people, okay? I don't know how to flirt!"

53. "God, I love your face."

54. "Don't look at me, I'm a mess!" "I love it when you're a mess!"

55. "Please do your homework for me...? Just one time." ... "I said one time, y'know... you didn't have to start studying. Not that I'm not proud or anything."

56. "I'm already home."

57. "Your comfort and happiness is more important to me than some stupid dinner."

58. "Stop moving! I'm going to have to start counting all over again!"

59. "I just thought that since you weren't feeling too good, this would help."

60. "I'm not kissing you in the rain! We'll catch our death!"

61. "Would it help if I stayed?"

62. "I apologise sincerely if my beautiful/handsome face has kept you up all night."

63. "God, you're pretty."

64. "Calm down, it's just a chocolate bar!"

65. "Please, tell me you brought a toothbrush?"

66. "You take the bed, you need it more than me."

67. "You're so warm!"

68. "You're freezing, Jesus!"

69. "You always look beautiful."

70. "Your hands are so small!"

71. "Sometimes I just want to cuddle, okay? Is that so bad?"

72. "Now I know where half my wardrobe went."

73. "Here, let me just–" 

74. "You're really special to me."

75. "That tickles!"

76. "We only have one room left for the night..."

77. "Naps are life, okay?"

78. "I don't think I could love you anymore than I already do."

79. "I had the weirdest dream..."

80. "I got you a trophy, it's only plastic, but it's for being the best human I know."

81. "Someone keeps leaving love notes in my locker and I don't know if I should find it endearing or creepy..."

82. "I love your voice."

83. "Put me down! I can walk!"

84. "Can... can you come over?"

85. "You're the best."

86. "Can you please stop biting your lip, it's distracting."

87. "I thought you liked love songs!"

88. "I know you're not a fan of Valentine's day... I just thought that maybe I could change your mind..."

89. "You're my favourite know-it-all."

90. "That was the least romantic proposal in the entire history of proposals."

91. "I never knew you were a romantic at heart."

92. "I made it. For you. I know it's not the best, but..."

93. "Let me carry that."

94. "How do you know my favourite drink?" "I'm observant."

95. "We've known each other's for years and I don't think we've ever had a proper conversation."

96. "You're the clumsiest person I know, how did you survive past childhood?"

97. "It's always time for a milkshake."

98. "You know, humming the James Bond theme tune defeats the point of sneaking."

99. "I think your cat wants to kill me."

100. "Where have all my jumpers gone?"

101. "I don't get paid enough for this shit."

102. "Oh my God, I love you."

103. "I told you to bring a jacket."

@writings-of-a-hufflepuff​

104. "Is that my shirt?" "You mean our shirt?"

105. "It's you, it always has been."

106. "You're everything I could've wanted and more."

107. "Kiss me."

108. "Home stopped being a place when you entered my life."

109. "You should probably go home." "But I'm already home."

110. "You're an idiot." "But you love me."

111. "I'd do anything for you."

112. "You took all the pillows so I'm using you as one."

113. "Stop moving and let me braid your hair."

114. "I'm so proud of you."

115. "You are my family."

116. "I'm right here."

117. "Can you just please hold me?"

118. "I'm pretty sure they're my soulmate."

119. "This reminded me of you."

120. "Your hair is really soft."

121. "Are you blushing?"

122. "Can I stay here tonight?"

123. "Because I love you."

124. "Make a wish!"

125. "I love seeing you smile."

126. "You're just a softie."

127. "You are crushing me right now."

128. "Darling I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen."

129. "Take my hand. Just trust me."

130. "You're the only thing that matters."

131. "Did you know that you talk in your sleep?"

132. "Hey, look at me. Focus on me, alright?"

133. "Why can't I get you out of my head?"

134. "Don't let go."

135. "Stay."

@blisfvll​

136. "You smell really nice."

137. "If you steal the blanket, I'm going to put my cold feet on you."

138. "You're comfy."

139. "But I want to hear you sing."

140. "Don't get up – I'll do it."

141. "Care to give me a back scratch?"

142. "Your bed head is really cute."

143. "How about a kiss?"

144. "Uh oh, I know that look. What do you want?"

145. "Are you really flirting with me right now?"

146. "I like the way your hand fits in mine."

147. "You have something in your hair, umm... do you want me to get it out?"

148. "It's nice that your voice is the first thing I heard today."

149. "This movie is really scary, but you're into it so I'm trying not to cover my face the whole time but– WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?"

150. "Wait, don't pull away... not yet."

151. "Half the time I get too embarrassed to say anything."

152. "No, it's fine. I can wait until you're done talking to them."

153. "No, like... it's just, I can't believe you're actually wearing my clothes."

154. "I've been trying to get ready for like an hour and an half because I know you're going to look so good and I need to try and match up."

155. "I wanted to say 'I love you' for the first time without stuttering, but that failed."

156. "We could order pizza and just stay like this all day."

157. "It's not a double date. We're just third and fourth wheeling."

158. "I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..."

@marauder-exe​

159. "It's not funny!"

160. "That wasn't suppose to happen."

161. "Hurry back."

162. "I can't take you seriously."

163. "Problem solved."

164. "That was embarrassing."

165. "It's freezing in here."

@love-me-a-good-prompt​

166. "I love you, baby."

167. "Hey, cutie."

168. "I promise to love you for the rest of my life."

169. "You're my world."

170. "I don't care if you're sick, catching a cold from kissing you is worth it."

171. "You are so perfect."

172. "Marry me?"

173. "You're the best part of me."

174. "Stay here with me. For the rest of our lives."

175. "I'm speechless, you're so beautiful!"

176. "Come here, I need to hug you."

177. "When everything's wrong, it's you that makes it right."

178. "You're the one."

@raggedy-dxctor​

179. "Well, it's the thought that counts." "Wait, no, don't take my kisses away from me!"

180. "Oh, you've started stealing my socks now?"

181. "You owe me a kiss."

182. "How did you get in here?"

183. "That's not even fair."

184. "You promised me a cookie!"

185. "Ew, that is so sappy, I might vomit."

186. "You're not very intimidating."

187. "That was, by far, the stupidest thing you've ever done."

188. "Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer."

189. "Why the hell is there glitter everywhere?"

@whcczes​

190. "I'll feel much better if you let me walk you home."

191. "Apparently, all our friends have a bet going that we end up together."

192. "You make me feel alive. For the first time ever, I feel like I can breathe."

@moanlightlust​

193. "It's two in the morning and you want to cuddle?"

194. "You shine so bright it's intimidating. I love it."

195. "I'm here."

196. "What's your name again? Sorry, I just got that super weird feeling that we only see in movies, you know? Like, the whole world stopped turning and all I could see was you."

197. "I was born to be yours."

198. "Isn't it a bit too cliché?"

199. "So, you're just kissing strangers for no apparent reasons?"

200. "You'll always be my favourite person."

201. "You're making it weird, stop making it weird."

202. "There's nothing I love more than running back into your arms."

203. "I'm yours. Forever."

204. "You always know how to cheer me up."

205. "I... I lost the ring."

206. "Will you be mine?"

207. "Darling, you look perfect tonight."

208. "You saved my life."

209. "Don't give me that look. No... NO! I said no puppy dog eyes! You know I can't resist them! Argh, fine!"

210. "I missed you and your bad puns and even your horrible cooking and the way you fit perfectly against my body when we cuddle. I just really missed you."

211. "We're a team, remember?"

212. "There's no place I'd rather be than by your side."

213. "Your smile brightens the whole room."

214. "I kinda adopted a puppy behind your back... don't be mad! Look at those cute fluffy paws!"

215. "You're burning up. Guess I need to activate my nurse mode."

216. "I love you. As in more than friends, more than best friends and more than super extra best friends."

217. "I love you just the way you are."

218. "We need to kick his ass, no questions asked. You in?"

219. "Hot chocolate and cuddles? Kisses?"

220. "You make me feel pretty."

221. "You'll always be my best girl."

222. "Never hide yourself from me."

223. "Babe! There's no toilet paper!"

224. "I'll never give up on you."

225. "Do you feel that shirt? That's boyfriend material."

226. "That prank went so wrong."

227. "Care to dance, my love?"

228. "AH! You're stuck with me!"

229. "You're too good to me."

230. "Is it that time of the month?"

231. "Can I braid your hair?"

232. "It's okay to have doubts, as long as you don't let them overwhelm you."

233. "Come here! I can't stand to be so far away from you!"

234. "I got you."

235. "I wanna fall asleep next to you every night and wake up every morning with you by my side."

236. "Stop, I need to finish this!"

237. "I just wanna binge watch The Office, but it's not the same without you."

238. "Because I care about you!"

239. "I just wanted to impress you."

240. "I love you even though your breath stinks right now."

241. "Did you just puke on me?"

242. "We should get drunk and do stupid things."

243. "I always know what you're thinking about, babe. You're like an open book!"

244. "Could you sing to me?"

245. "I, uh, could you... could you play with my hair, please?"

246. "Nooooo, don't leave! I'm cold!"

247. "I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me."

248. "A mistletoe? Really?"

249. "Will you join me, love?"

250. "I have feelings for you."

251. "You are the reason."

252. "Take my hand, I wanna show you something..."

253. "You have a lovely name."

254. "You're my everything."

255. "You do know a lot about my blushing schedule."

@voilawind​

[danielxricciardo]

Prompts

1. "Hi, my ex just walked in. Would you hold my hand please?"

2. "I didn't expect to see you here."

3. "Have you seen this dog?"

4. “That mouth of yours, does it ever stop making noise”

5. “Seven minutes in heaven is for virgin teenagers”

6. “Slam that door one more time and I’ll shove my foot straight up your cute ass”

7. “Jesus! Knock next time would you”

8. “You have money go and get yourself a hoodie that’s not mine”

9. "I hate roses, I thought you knew"

10. "Do you think I am an angel? Ha"

11. "I wanted to sleep but someone decided to die"

12. "I can kill you right now, what are you talking about?"

13. "Hi, I am lost, can you come after me?"

14. "When I first saw you I wanted to date your best friend"

15. "I am so funny and you are just jealous"

16. "If I have to choose... no"

17. "Stop breathing like that!"

18. "I just did my nails"

19. "I'm the best driver în the world"

20. "Will you marry me?" "No"

21. "I think I broke my arm" "So?"

22. "I think I love you" "Thanks"

23. "My arms are lonely, don't you think?"

24. "Apparently we are dating"

25. “Well it’s kind of hard to move when you’re sitting on my lap”

26. "Those things you said yesterday, did you mean them?"

27. "If we elope, you think they'll kill us?"

28. "This is yours"

29. "You can’t just kiss me, laugh and then walk away."

30. "Are you using ass as a pillow?"

31." I find your lack of faith disturbing."

32. "And I took it personally"

33. "In here I am the boss"

34. "Oh, bite me!" "Where?"

35. "What will you do if we break up?"

36. "Where is my T-shit?"

37. "This is no time for sarcastic comments."  "There is always time for sarcastic comments."

38. "I’ll keep quiet, you won’t even know I’m here."

39. "The way you flirt is just awful"

40. "Don’t be fooled. I’m the epitome of mess."

41. " If you are on TV should I congratulate you?"

42. "And this, is why we can’t have nice things."

43. "That's what he said"

44. "I am scared of your boss"

45. "You should know, a lot of girls have a crush on me"

46. "Everyone is afraid of you"

47. "If I'm watching that movie one more time I'll lose my fucking mind!"

48. "I thought being on vacation will be stress free"

49. "My parents don't trust you"

50. "I don't think I should give my last name so easily"

51. “I really wish I could unsee that.”

52. “Who would’ve guessed we’d be sharing a room.”

53. “I feel like you have an unhealthy obsession with me.”

54. “Nah he’s fine, it’s the other one you really got to watch out for.”

55. “I have a suggestion.” “I’m not taking my clothes off so forget it.”

56. “You’re the genius, why don’t you tell me?”

57. “Have I ever told you your accent makes me swoon?” “Really?” “No.” He/she smiles. “ that’s why I’ve never told you.”

58. “I’m alive? How am I still alive?”

59. “You’re crazy! I love it!”

60. “Never have I ever is about to get a lot more interesting.”

61. “What did they do?” “Dude. They did the do.”

62. "You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!"

63. "Well this is awkward."

64. "Im too sober for this."

65. "Im pregnant." "Wall done, Virgin Mary!"

66. " I want to protect you."

67. "Kill that spider and maybe I'll forgive you"

68. "I have no one to go to the wedding"

69. "Don’t you dare touch _______!"

70. "I thought you were dead!"

71. "This is, without a doubt, the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in."

72. "Take care of you, please"

73. "If your best friend single?"

74. "Just remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English."

75. "Why does everyone assume we're a couple?"

76. "Im craving something sweet" "Are you pregnant or something?"

77. " What is the magic word?" "I'll kill you în your sleep"

78. "When I see you my knees get weak"

79. "Finally you're single. Can I take you on a date?"

80. " So, I guess you don’t do after hours?"

81. "I know what I'm doing, I've watched two whole seasons of Grey's Anatomy."

82. "I can't believe I'm stuck here with you right now."

83. "Okay, this did not go as I planned it in the shower."

84. "I'm not going to sit around and watch you destroy yourself."

85. "You were my best friend"

86. "You did what?"

87. "Can you just pretend to love me for a second!"

88. "You are enough"

89. "Take the shirt off"

90. "Your nickname is bitch"

91. "What do you want to watch?" "You"

92. "How could you ask me that?"

93. "Your mouth does this thing and I can't resist it"

94. "Are you allowed to drink?"

95. "I said Im done, leave me alone!"

96. "Don’t raise your fucking voice at me”

97. “Yeah, I remember the drill”

98. “Tell me again, slowly this time, why that dog is in my bed.”

99. “Gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough.”

100. “You and me, we were destined to fall apart.”

101. “No, you don’t know who you are until somebody breaks your heart.”

102. “I want to tell you everything. The words I never got to say the first time around.”

103. “It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all.”

Song lyrics prompts

1. “It’s the little things about us, that I love so much.”

2. “Last night I told you I loved you // woke up blamed it on the vodka”

3. “It’s a better place since you came along”

4. “You make me love the things I hate  “

5. Just a paper sheet and half a cigarette are left in my hand

6. Your faith walks on broken glass

7. "And can you teach me how to dance real slow?"

8. "I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe"

9. "One night, you won't forget the rest of your life"

10. "We only said goodbye with words"

11. "I'll try to give you love until the day you drop"

12. "I like the pretty boys with the bow tie"

13. "Lets get drunk forget what we did"

14. Your kisses lift me higher

15. When you're ready we can share the wine

16. "And if you don't love me now you will never love me again"

17. "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?"

18. "When there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove"

19. She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining, just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling.

20. Now I understand, you're a human, and you got to lie, you're a man

21. The good and the bad times: we've been through them all.

22. Now I ain't educated but I sure ain't stupid

23. I grew up in the shoes they told me I could fill

24. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

25. A lover would just complicate my plans

26. And in the morning, i’ll be with you, but it will be a different kind

27. My heart is yours, it’s you that i hold on to

28. And with one kiss, you inspired a fire of devotion that lasts for twenty years

29. I let go of my claim on you, it’s a free world

30. I’m in my bed, and you’re not here and there’s no one to blame, but the drink in my wandering hands

31. Cause you gave me peace and i wasted it, I’m here to admit that you were my medicine

32. Oh, dear diary, i met a boy, he made my doll heart light up with joy. Oh, dear diary, we fell apart, welcome to the life of electra heart

33. For you, I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind

34. Is it really me you're missing?

35. Remember that night?

36. How many times can I break till I shatter?

37. As long as I breathe, I’ll call you my home

38. "You wouldn't know love if it crushed your fucking chest."

39. "When we scream our lips don't make a sound."

40. "Please don't let me sink, wrap your arms around me and carry me home."

41. "This hasn't torn us apart so nothing ever will."

42. "A long time ago we believed that we were united."

43. "I miss the person that you were but I don't miss you."

44. "If home is where the heart is, why do I feel so fucking heartless?"

45. "I can't live, I can't breathe with or without you just go away."

46. "I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid I'll survive and have to watch you suffer."

47. "I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away."

48. "I'm not like you I just fuck up."

49. "All because of you I believe in angels, not the kind with wings, no not the kind with halos. The kind that bring you home when home becomes a strange place."

50. "I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again."

51. “I wish people liked me more.”

52. “How could I ever love someone else?”

53. “I guess you’re getting everything you want.”

54. “She probably gives you butterflies.”

55. “I hope that you’re okay.”

56. “I defended you to all my friends.”

57. “I never cared about what they say, only care about me and you” 

58. “Either way i’m gonna lose, so i’m just gonna keep on loving you”

59. “You know i’m bad at communication, it’s the hardest thing for me to do”

60. “Iwas your lover, i was your friend, now I’m only just someone you call when it’s late enough to forget”

61. “It’s fucked up but it’s true that i love you like i do”

62. “Well we both had nights waking up in strangers beds but i don’t wanna, don't wanna, i don’t wanna give up yet”

63. “Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow.”

64. “I’m begging for you to take my hand.”

65. “I can’t make it go away by making you the villain.”

66. “He feels like home.”

67. “I’d be breaking all my rules to see you.”

68. “But I know you’re not scared of anything at all.”

69. “When can I come back?”

70. “I’m ready to owe you anything”

71. “I’ll always look best in your head”

72. “I know you know it’s wrong, but I’m ready”

73. “All I ever want is breaking me apart.”

74. “Let's talk sweetly like all our love is false.”

75. “You put a fire in my heart, painted blood on my stars, gave me faith.”

76. “I wanna meet your girlfriend, she sounds nice.”

77. “How is kissing me so wrong?“

78. “Can’t you see that I’m already yours?”

79. “I’ve been losing track of the romantic sh*t I’m tryna say but basically I love you"

80. “I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips, I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath”

81. “I apologize for all your tears, I wish I could be different but I’m still growing up into the one you can call your love” 

82. “I’m out of my head, of my heart, of my mind cause you can run but you can’t hide, I’m gonna make you mine”

83. "I never loved someone the way that I love you"

84. "It's the way that you know what I thought I knew, it's the beat that my heart skips when I'm with you"

85. "I hope she gettin' better sex, hope she ain't fakin' it like I did, babe"

86. “I know we’re young and people change and we may never feel the same”

87. “I can’t change the world, but maybe I’ll change your mind”

88. "You don't own me. Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay."

89. "Leave everything that is worth a single cent and just take me instead."

90. "And then I got you off your knees, put you right back on your feet, just so you can take advantage of me."

91. "Hey, I can't let you go with nobody. Cause I love you, baby."

92. "Tell me that it wasn't my fault and that I was enough for you."

93. "We were good at faking forever, I get it, whatever."

94. "Cause you had your chance and you blew it. Yeah, you ripped it up and you chewed it."

95. "Well, I'm too busy for your business. Go find a girl who wants to listen."

96. "Stop looking at me with those eyes, like I could disappear and you wouldn't care why."

97. "Oh, we could do whatever you want, but boy, don't go falling in love, you can't stay with me, all you'll ever have is one day with me"

98. "I pray the medication slow me down, but that shit doesn't work when you're around"

99. "Told her that I loved her once and now she'd kill for me"

100. "What the tell were we? Tell me we weren't just friends"

Who I write for

Formula 1

Daniel Ricciardo

Lewis Hamilton

Max Verstappen

Charles Leclerc

Esteban Ocon

Carlos Sainz

Lando Norris

Lance Stroll

Sebastian Vettel

Mick Schumacher

Pierre Gasly

George Russel

Football

Erling Haaland

Jadon Sancho

Giovanni Reyna

Jude Bellingham

Julian Brandt

Marco Reus

Roman Bürki

Emre Can

Mats Hummels

Leon Goretzka

Joshua Kimmich

Kai Havertz

Mason Mount

Christian Pulisici

Ben Chilwell

Gerard Pique 

João Félix

Ianis Hagi

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain

Trent Alexander-Arnold

Virgil van Dijk

Jens Petter Hauge

Martin Ødegaard

Alexander Sørloth

[woeisme-iamwoe]

an absolutely massive Haikyuu!! fic rec pt. 1

I went through my entire ao3 history because I’m insane, AND here’s my favorites. (There’s not a lot of aus because I’m not a huge fan of them, and there’s no sad endings. I’m a hopeless romantic leave me alone. There is angst though! Lots) 

Beginning with SakuAtsu (I’m a hoe for Atsumu): 

Hide and seek, by badreputation (10k. E. canonverse) 

It sure is a good thing Atsumu doesn't have a latex allergy 

It’s just a fleeting infatuation. As long as he pushes through it he’ll manage. So what if nowadays there isn’t a night where he doesn’t dream of Sakusa pinning him down on his own bed, in the shower or make Atsumu go down on his knees in the hallway? Those are just pesky details.

Some Memories, We May Keep, by mika60 (31k. T. canonverse) 

This is canon, fight me on it. 

The missing panels, the missing games, the missing moments.

The them we never saw.

*Now complete! :)*

 every action has an equal and opposite reaction, by akanemnida (10k. T. canonverse) 

Miya Atsumu gets a modeling contract with Calvin Klein, which sets Kiyoomi's heart in motion.

(Or: Sakusa Kiyoomi realizes that the rules governing the universe are absolute rubbish at explaining matters of the heart.)

 Ass-fingering as a prelude to relations of the emotional kind: a case study, by neverwere (2k. E. canonverse) 

Fucking hilarious, the imagery is absolutely hilarious. 

"Marry me, he thinks, as he comes around Sakusa's fingers and all over himself.

This. This is exactly why you don't let strangers or very attractive teammates finger you out of the blue.

Everyone knows that the ass is the shortest way to the heart."

Or

When it comes to sex, Atsumu has rules. Guidelines! SOPs! He swears they work, they've always worked.

Until they don't.

 parallax error: angle of inclination, by min_mintobe (10k. T. canonverse)

But now there's the one person Atsumu'd promised himself never to touch. His eyes leave Atsumu breathless with guilt at seventeen, and he spends the next six years safe in the satisfaction of making things right.

Feelings, of the physical kind, and one kiss.

ft. competitive spirit, childishness, and late night conversations.

Atsumu POV.

 autumn ends, but we remain, by wolfsbvne (5k. T. canonverse)

Author says in their ending notes that they're not an ‘author’, but methinks they should write more and pursue that career path because this was wonderful.  

atsumu stares at his ceiling at 2am. he stares until he can make out designs in his popcorn ceiling. a cat there, an onigiri here, and then something that suspiciously looks like a mop of hair, triangle eyebrows, and oh those two bumps are moles right above what atsumu just mapped out as an eye.

(or, atsumu is in kind of in love. sakusa is maybe in like.)

I left a taste in your mouth, by emso (26k. E. bodyguard au)

Because obviously 

Sakusa fixes him with a vague expression of something like distaste. There's a scathing edge to his tone when he speaks. "Contrary to what you seem to believe, not everyone who meets you is instantly dying to get into your pants, Miya."

"Lucky I don't really care right now what 'everyone' wants to do, then." Atsumu swivels his mug around on the tabletop a few times, and then brings it to his mouth to drain the last few dregs of his latte. Over the rim of his mug, he adds casually, "Just you."

Whoa hey Bodyguard Omi, I think Spoiled Rich Kid Tsumu might possibly have a teensy crush on you. 

 How do you know you're in love?, by spiritscript (12k. T. canonverse)

Pure art

“So, how did you know you were in love? How did it feel?” Atsumu felt nervous asking this, a slight wiggling in the pit of his stomach, unable to look at the man beside him who rolled his shoulders in an attempt to reset his posture. “I mean, you didn’t resonate with what I said, so, what is love to you Omi-kun?”

Atsumu thinks he must be in love with Hinata Shouyou and so asks the best person he knows to help him understand his feelings

 san'yo expressway, 6:17 pm, by yamabota (13k. T. canonverse)

Of violent forethoughts, and handheld car vacuums. 

Atsumu tilts his head to watch a slice of orange light bend over the impassive planes of Sakusa’s face. He is absolutely, ruthlessly beautiful. It makes Atsumu want to punch something—put his foot through the windshield—scream, maybe.

Kiss him again, maybe.

They have 344 kilometers to figure this one out. 

Different Kinds of Dysfunctional, by DeathBelle (Series, 5 works. T-E. Canonverse)

Honestly, I think this one is kind of famous amongst Sakuatsu readers but I can’t not include it. If I recall correctly, this is the fic that got me into Sakuastu, so thanks, DeathBelle. The characters are portrayed really well (i.e. Sakusa is disgusted and confused, and Atsumu is a little shit). You’ve got a good balance between conversations and descriptive thoughts and all-in-all it’s just a really good read. 

 Atsumu said into the heavy silence, “You can’t say you’ve never thought about it.”

"Thought about what?" said Sakusa.

Atsumu smiled to himself, smug. "You know."

"No, I don't."

"You know. Of course you’ve thought about it. There’s no reason to be ashamed, Omi-kun. I’m a real catch.”

Sakusa was appalled. "You're disgusting."

"You flatter me. I'm not judging you. I can't lie and say I haven't thought about it, too."

Sakusa shifted, slowly, to peer over his shoulder. He wasn’t scowling, but his expression was unreadable. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

Atsumu wasn't joking, and he was about to get more than he bargained for.

i'll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands), by liliapocalypse (7k words. T. canonverse):

Oh, god. This one was so cute. Super fluffy. Loved the metaphors and symbolism. Sometimes you just can’t say things out loud. 

When a bad injury shocks the whole V. League, Sakusa finds himself paired with Atsumu for more rigorous assisted stretches before every training. Atsumu then finds himself writing random letters on Sakusa’s skin to soothe the spiker, forcing Sakusa to reevaluate how his touch aversion became an irresistible yearning for more, and how the boy with the annoying hair somehow brought that hunger to life.

Or, the fic where Atsumu mindlessly writes a confession on Sakusa’s back when he thought Sakusa wasn't paying attention. Sakusa always did.

 mortality is found is the flesh of your sins, by novrik (10k. M. canonverse)

This is literally my favorite fic of all time. Not just of Sakuatsu, not even of the Haikyuu fandom. Ever. Favorite fic ever. Listen, I’m an atheist, but this fic took me on a religious experience that I haven't come down from yet. The symbolism had me actually shivering, and I had to put my phone down quite a few times. Just, oh wow, just read it. I’d like to share my favorite line; ‘And if Sakusa is Eve, if he takes a bite, what then? Perhaps, he is a little afraid of the knowledge he will gain’. My god, author, if you ever see this, this is not only a plea for you to continue writing, but also an offer of marriage. Your hand, author?

 dickhead one, sakusa kiyoomi. dickhead two, miya atsumu. neither understand how to communicate.

Pray tell, why are you drawn to him?

Are you drawn to him in the way he looks beautiful even when crying?

When his eyes are red, shiny tears streaking down, lips quivering, is he beautiful?

 sakuatsu domesticity simulator, by pseudoanalytics (75 words. T. canonverse)

75 words because it's actually a digital art simulator. An interactive fic! How frickin’ cool is that? The art is so beautiful and I love the plotline and ugh, just everything. Please read, or watch, or click around, yes. Good. 

Update: artist created another interactive fic and of course it is wonderful. SunaOsa this time! https://newttxt.itch.io/cheesecake honestly just check out @newttxt their work is amazing and I love everything they do. 

a vaguely interactive mixture of fic, art, and html, where you too can experience the inherent romance of a big fat jerk and a too-blunt jerk attempting intimacy

***

(this is the result of letting the sakuatsu brainworms really get to you...)

 Pas De Deux, by hatsuna (19k words. T. Ballet/college au)

There's just something about prim, proper ballet Sakusa and human-benign-tumor Atsumu that makes my heart burst. Seriously gorgeous writing style, loved every second. By the same author who wrote ‘liminal spaces’ (which is also just perfect) so that should give you a good idea of the style. 

The mystery athlete gives Kiyoomi a once over in the mirror. “Yer pretty tall,” he observes. The twang of an accent rasps low in his throat. His brazen eyes drift to Kiyoomi’s legs, and something like exhilaration glints gold in his gaze. “Good quads, too. Ya ever played volleyball?”

 Ah. So it’s volleyball.

“I’m a dancer. Ballet and contemporary, mostly.”

 the affective presence of our black and white reruns, by kozumess (19k. E. canonverse)

Beautiful, classic misunderstandings, my heart actually physically ached at that one scene (you’ll know the scene when you come to it). Kiyoomi is so refreshingly relaxed(? Is that the right word to use? We all know Omi never truly relaxes). 

but the want, it's always there, constant like the static playing on every television channel, present even when the station disconnects.

 cut the conversation, just open your mouth, by meeksoo (E. 16k. canonverse)

Absolutely filthy...BUT WITH FEELINGS! Completely nails the Sakuatsu dynamic, and protective ‘Tsumu? Love it. 

Sakusa opens the door. He always does.

 They’re teammates first, barely even friends. But they hook up on the regular and it works. It’s simple, easy. But then a fan gets too close, Sakusa reacts, and Atsumu is swept up in how quickly things can get complicated.

__

As Atsumu palms himself over his briefs, still feeling off, he realizes it’s because he still wants it. Him. Sakusa. Even after already having him earlier.

He should probably feel self-conscious, mildly ashamed even, that he’s panting ‘Omi Omi’ into the dark beneath the steady thrum of the AC unit when Sakusa’s right down the hall, probably good for it if Atsumu ended up back at his door. Instead, he lays there, writhing and sweaty, alone in his hotel room bed thinking about Sakusa and touching himself.

Afterward, as cum begins to cool on his chest, Atsumu really can’t help but face the fact that things may be getting complicated.

 the hands that beckon me to come, by Ellieb3an (4k. E. canonverse)

So hot, what the fuck! 

The toss, the run, the spike-serve at the end of it all—Sakusa sees it happen in perfect clarity as if time has slowed and his vision narrows to the center where just Miya exists, all powerful muscle and extraordinary skill and that air of confidence.

Sakusa isn’t one of the best receivers in the league for no reason, so his body moves on muscle memory, forearms absorbing the sting of the hit. It’s not enough. But his eyes are still on Miya—on the way his shorts ride up his muscular thighs as he lands, on the bead of sweat dripping down his forehead, on the clench of his fist thrust into the air—when the ball ricochets out of bounds.

***

Atsumu stays late at practices to work on his new third serve, even when his frustration with it starts throwing off the rest of his game. Sakusa notices and starts hanging back to secretly watch him from the gym doors. He’s fascinated with Atsumu's determination... and more than a little turned on by it, too.

 you're the flame i use (when it gets dark), by starkartifices (55k. M. canonverse. Ongoing)

Everything is the same except the Sakusas are super rich. 

“Oh, if you want dear, you could bring a plus one. Though, I doubt you have a partner yet.”

“I do actually.”

“What was that, dear?”

"I do have a partner, I mean."

alt title: crazy rich sakusas 

 the inherent romance of classical conditioning (or; the fine art of emotional recognition), by pseudoanalytics (13k. E. canonverse)

Ah, yes. A Pavloved sex life. A Pavloved LOVE life?? 

It's stupid. Atsumu isn't a romantic, no matter how many times he's imagined laying Sakusa out and finally really touching him.

So there's no explanation for why Atsumu is constantly stuck thinking about brushing his fingertips against the meat of Sakusa's palms or the prominent tendons in his freaky wrists.

There's no explanation for why doing dishes sets off a warm burn in his ribcage, or why when he smells disinfectant he inhales like he's walking past a bakery.

Yer doin' this to me, he thinks furiously, as Sakusa derails his thoughts with kisses that come more and more frequently now. Yer conditionin' me, and I can't stop it.

 flutterbird (a collection of sakuatsu oneshots), by wordstruck (5 works. T-E. canonverse)

Works 1-3, I think follow a linear story, whereas the last two don't. 

All sakuatsu works are just the angstiest, most miscommunication filled pieces of absolute gold and this one is no exception. Wow. These men are assholes and they bring out the worst in each other, but I’ll be damned if they’re not soulmates. 

Collection of SakuAtsu fics. Several fics are loosely set in the same storyverse. Not necessarily directly connected and can all be read as standalones.

[itrvlr]

AN AMAZING STORY...

Here is an amazing story from a flight attendant on Delta Flight 15, written following 9-11

On the morning of Tuesday, September 11, we were about 5 hours out of Frankfurt, flying over the North Atlantic .

All of a sudden the curtains parted and I was told to go to the cockpit, immediately, to see the captain. As soon as I got there I noticed that the crew had that "All Business" look on their faces. The captain handed me a printed message. It was from Delta's main office in Atlanta and simply read, "All airways over the Continental United States are closed to commercial air traffic. Land ASAP at the nearest airport. Advise your destination."

No one said a word about what this could mean. We knew it was a serious situation and we needed to find terra firma quickly. The captain determined that the nearest airport was 400 miles behind us in Gander, New Foundland.

He requested approval for a route change from the Canadian traffic controller and approval was granted immediately -- no questions asked. We found out later, of course, why there was no hesitation in approving our request.

While the flight crew prepared the airplane for landing, another message arrived from Atlanta telling us about some terrorist activity in the New York area. A few minutes later word came in about the hijackings.

We decided to LIE to the passengers while we were still in the air. We told them the plane had a simple instrument problem and that we needed to land at the nearest airport in Gander , New Foundland, to have it checked out.

We promised to give more information after landing in Gander .. There was much grumbling among the passengers, but that's nothing new! Forty minutes later, we landed in Gander. Local time at Gander was 12:30 PM .... that's 11:00 AM EST.

There were already about 20 other airplanes on the ground from all over the world that had taken this detour on their way to the US.

After we parked on the ramp, the captain made the following announcement: "Ladies and gentlemen, you must be wondering if all these airplanes around us have the same instrument problem as we have. The reality is that we are here for another reason."

Then he went on to explain the little bit we knew about the situation in the US. There were loud gasps and stares of disbelief. The captain informed passengers that Ground control in Gander told us to stay put.

The Canadian Government was in charge of our situation and no one was allowed to get off the aircraft. No one on the ground was allowed to come near any of the air crafts. Only airport police would come around periodically, look us over and go on to the next airplane.

In the next hour or so more planes landed and Gander ended up with 53 airplanes from all over the world, 27 of which were US commercial jets.

Meanwhile, bits of news started to come in over the aircraft radio and for the first time we learned that airplanes were flown into the World Trade Center in New York and into the Pentagon in DC.

People were trying to use their cell phones, but were unable to connect due to a different cell system in Canada . Some did get through, but were only able to get to the Canadian operator who would tell them that the lines to the U.S. were either blocked or jammed.

Sometime in the evening the news filtered to us that the World Trade Center buildings had collapsed and that a fourth hijacking had resulted in a crash. By now the passengers were emotionally and physically exhausted, not to mention frightened, but everyone stayed amazingly calm.

We had only to look out the window at the 52 other stranded aircraft to realize that we were not the only ones in this predicament.

We had been told earlier that they would be allowing people off the planes one plane at a time. At 6 PM, Gander airport told us that our turn to deplane would be 11 am the next morning.

Passengers were not happy, but they simply resigned themselves to this news without much noise and started to prepare themselves to spend the night on the airplane.

Gander had promised us medical attention, if needed, water, and lavatory servicing.

And they were true to their word.

Fortunately we had no medical situations to worry about. We did have a young lady who was 33 weeks into her pregnancy. We took REALLY good care of her. The night passed without incident despite the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements.

About 10:30 on the morning of the 12th a convoy of school buses showed up. We got off the plane and were taken to the terminal where we went through Immigration and Customs and then had to register with the Red Cross.

After that we (the crew) were separated from the passengers and were taken in vans to a small hotel. We had no idea where our passengers were going. We learned from the Red Cross that the town of Gander has a population of 10,400 people and they had about 10,500 passengers to take care of from all the airplanes that were forced into Gander!

We were told to just relax at the hotel and we would be contacted when the US airports opened again, but not to expect that call for a while.

We found out the total scope of the terror back home only after getting to our hotel and turning on the TV, 24 hours after it all started.

Meanwhile, we had lots of time on our hands and found that the people of Gander were extremely friendly. They started calling us the "plane people." We enjoyed their hospitality, explored the town of Gander and ended up having a pretty good time.

Two days later, we got that call and were taken back to the Gander airport. Back on the plane, we were reunited with the passengers and found out what they had been doing for the past two days.

What we found out was incredible.....

Gander and all the surrounding communities (within about a 75 Kilometer radius) had closed all high schools, meeting halls, lodges, and any other large gathering places. They converted all these facilities to mass lodging areas for all the stranded travelers.

Some had cots set up, some had mats with sleeping bags and pillows set up.

ALL the high school students were required to volunteer theirtime to take care of the "guests."

Our 218 passengers ended up in a town called Lewisporte, about 45 kilometers from Gander where they were put up in a high school. If any women wanted to be in a women-only facility, that was arranged.

Families were kept together. All the elderly passengers were taken to private homes.

Remember that young pregnant lady? She was put up in a private home right across the street from a 24-hour Urgent Care facility.There was a dentist on call and both male and female nurses remained with the crowd for the duration.

Phone calls and e-mails to the U.S. and around the world were available to everyone once a day. During the day, passengers were offered "Excursion" trips.

Some people went on boat cruises of the lakes and harbors. Some went for hikes in the local forests.

Local bakeries stayed open to make fresh bread for the guests.

Food was prepared by all the residents and brought to the schools. People were driven to restaurants of their choice and offered wonderful meals. Everyone was given tokens for local laundry mats to wash their clothes, since luggage was still on the aircraft.

In other words, every single need was met for those stranded travelers.

Passengers were crying while telling us these stories. Finally, when they were told that U.S. airports had reopened, they were delivered to the airport right on time and without a single passenger missing or late. The local Red Cross had all the information about thewhereabouts of each and every passenger and knew

which plane they needed to be on and when all the planes were leaving. They coordinated everything beautifully.

It was absolutely incredible.

When passengers came on board, it was like they had been on a cruise. Everyone knew each other by name. They were swapping stories of their stay, impressing each other with who had the better time. Our flight back to Atlanta looked like a chartered party flight. The crew just stayed out of their way. It was mind-boggling.

Passengers had totally bonded and were calling each other by their first names, exchanging phone numbers, addresses, and email addresses.

And then a very unusual thing happened.

One of our passengers approached me and asked if he could make an announcement over the PA system. We never, ever allow that. But this time was different. I said "of course" and handed him the mike. He picked up the PA and reminded everyone about what they had just gone through in the last few days.

He reminded them of the hospitality they had received at the hands of total strangers.

He continued by saying that he would like to do something in return for the good folks of Lewisporte.

"He said he was going to set up a Trust Fund under the name of DELTA 15 (our flight number). The purpose of the trust fund is to provide college scholarships for the high school students of Lewisporte.

He asked for donations of any amount from his fellow travelers. When the paper with donations got back to us with the amounts, names, phone numbers and addresses, the total was for more than $14,000!

"The gentleman, a MD from Virginia , promised to match the donations and to start the administrative work on the scholarship. He also said that he would forward this proposal to Delta Corporate and ask them to donate as well.

As I write this account, the trust fund is at more than $1.5 million and has assisted 134 students in college education.

"I just wanted to share this story because we need good stories right now. It gives me a little bit of hope to know that some people in a faraway place were kind to some strangers who literally dropped in on them.

It reminds me how much good there is in the world."

"In spite of all the rotten things we see going on in today's world this story confirms that there are still a lot of good people in the world and when things get bad, they will come forward.

*This is one of those stories that need to be shared. Please do so...*

[narrowtriangle33-blog]

Please share this article, it important that you do so. These truths have to be told.

"Bethune’s name appeared in six reports in the House Committee on Un-American Activities and five times in Senate reports on people suspected of communist activity. While she was cleared of any involvement, the message was clear: Confronting racism and white supremacy is un-American."

"This is why white people are my bellwether."

"Whenever I am trying to decide whether or not a particular movement, policy or person benefits Black America, I wait and see what white people think. While that might sound racist, there has never been a movement, policy or person that benefitted Black America who was simultaneously embraced by white America. In this country, a stance against the trauma-inducing brickbat of whiteness is perceived as a stance against America. And anyone who disagrees can feel free to prove me wrong. Name one person who fought for Black liberation who white people agreed with."

"Whenever anyone does anything that includes the word “Black,” it immediately falls under the classification of Marxist and anti-whiteness. White people hate being left out, even though they are acutely aware that there is nothing more valuable in the known universe than a white life. White people will slit a Black baby’s neck for a white woman’s life."

"Let’s just say they will beat a Black baby to a bloody pulp, tie him to an industrial fan with barbed wire and toss his lifeless body off a bridge. Is that better?"

"But I understand why they vilify Black movements with Marxism."

"White people don’t know what Marxism is."

"According to a 1970 Harris Poll, 64 percent of Black Americans had a favorable view of the Panthers, while 92 percent of white Americans had a negative view. It’s probably because a lot of members of the Black Panther were Marxists, which is different from communism. Basically, Marxism is a way to examine history, economics and societies through the lens of class, while communism is actually Marx’s economic and political theory in which...wait. For a second I started to believe that there was some logic to white supremacy."

"White people hated the Panthers because they had guns and pushed for armed self-defense. For some reason, those America-hating negroes believed “the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed.”"

"I have no idea where they got that crazy idea from."

"Black people voting"

"Why white people don’t like it: States’ rights, something something, communism, something something it was a different time."

"When Black people marched on Selma for voting rights, they were called “communists.” The Voting Rights Act of 1965 was called “Un-American.” Of course, the 2020 election was about “socialism” because so many Black people voted."

"Southerners, conservatives and white people, in general, have never pushed for a single law to expand the electorate because they are the only true Americans."

"Critical Race Theory"

"Why white people didn’t like it: Because they don’t know what it is."

"This one is easy."

"The one thing that dumbfounds me about white supremacy is how much white people trust each other. They just trust the explanations for their fellow white people. In all this debate about CRT, I have yet to see one person who opposes CRT who can also explain what CRT is. And many of the legislators who are against funding K-12 teachers who absolutely do not teach CRT are already funding the leaders’ movement, such as Richard Delgado, the professor at state-supported Alabama Law School who wrote a little book called Critical Race Theory: An Introduction. "

"All they know is that it has the word “race” in it, so it must be bad."

"Legislators opposed the Civil Rights Act because it was “Marxist.” The House Committee on Un-American Activities investigated the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee for communism. The FBI did, too."

"In a 1964 New York Times survey, a majority of white people said that the “Negro civil rights movement had gone too far,” and a quarter of those people said their resentment was growing. They were right. Two years later, a 1966 Harris Survey, revealed that 85 percent of white respondents thought civil rights demonstrations “hurts the negro.”"

"Apparently, to white people, fighting racism is worse than racism."

"And if you think I’m kidding about white people not thinking Black people were smart, according to the National Opinion Research Center, it was not until 1963 that 50 percent of white people believed “Negroes” were born with the same intelligence as whites."

"History"

"Why white people don’t like it: Because white people might find out about some of the things white people did, which is racist."

"The fight against what politicians have deemed the Marxist, Un-American 1619 Project is actually a fight against teaching the history of slavery more accurately. And it is not new. White people said the same thing about teaching abolition. The United Daughters of the Confederacy said the same thing about the Civil War. White school districts in the North and South said the same thing about Jim Crow. And Black History Month."

"Plus if white kids learn about America’s racist past, they might start saying: “I’m not going to do that again,” and then, what will happen to white people?"

"Martin Luther King Jr."

"Why white people didn’t like him: He was a communist. He was anti-white. He was a Marxist."

"In 1966, a majority of white Americans had a negative opinion of King. When he died in 1968, 75 percent of Americans disapproved of him. Now they love him..."

"Because he’s dead."

"This is why we must never ignore white people."

"While we should never, ever do what white people collectively want, history has shown us that if something is good for Black people, white people will hate it. And if they vilify something as racist, communist or anti-white, you should take a second look because, nine times out of 10, it might be worth considering. When it comes to freedom and equality, the easiest thing to do is to see what white people have to say...

Then do the opposite."

I copied a lot of his article word for word those are Michael Harriot's words not my own.

The word's of people who commented.

"I was asking one of the few people on the Right side of politics I am still in touch with about why he hates CRT, and he sent me a link to a whole essay. It boiled down to a few leaps in logic:"

"1) the USSR used US race relations as a shield to deflect criticism of their own human rights record (“And in the USA, they hang n-words”)"

"2) therefore, any criticism of race relations was caused by Soviet propaganda (not, you know, by actually HANGING BLACK PEOPLE)"

"3) therefore any discussion of race relations was commie propaganda."

"4) therefore, any movement that calls attention to race is communist."

"It’s very similar to how the Communist League fired the original writer of The Communist Manifesto because he brought up ethnic minorities and racism and replaced him with Marx, outright rejecting any factor that so much as complicated their preconceived model. It also shares many of the issues raised in the “grievance studies” affair, being exegesis to elaborate and propound upon a founding scripture."

"That’s the most idiotic line of reasoning I ever heard. It’s so typical of white people as a group in this country that when someone points out some shit they did that’s fucked up that instead of you know, stopping the fucked up thing they basically say that the entity pointing out their fucked up shit is bad therefore bringing up solutions to the fucked up thing they did is wrong."

"Fuck the trolls, but if anyone is actually confused about the likelihood of any white person to trust any other white person over anyone at all who is even POSSIBLY not white, please refresh your memories regarding the multiple instances in the last several years of a Black person being anywhere near a house or building, then being approached by either a white guard, cop, or other self-important deputy of white fragility."

"In these instances, Black people are often believed to be up to no good even after they show ID proving they live in the building some white person has decided they don’t belong in. No amount of proof will have a fragile white self-deputy believing that even state-issued IDs are a real thing and this Black person lives in their own home."

"But when any white person walks by and says “Oh, this is _____, they live here”, immediately, that’s good enough to let this perceived criminal go into their home."

"Because any white stranger vouched in any sort of way."

"Literal evidence of address means nothing, but the word of ANY white person, with no proof of their authority, no hassle about “Well what are YOU doing here?!?”, just...instant belief of any white skin."

"Also, the main difference between Angela Davis and Assata Shakur is that Ms. Davis beat the system at its own game, the “proper” way. Racism couldn’t even beat her at their heavily-rigged game. Ms. Shakur ALSO beat the system, but because she didn’t get to win at a fully-rigged game, she found her own loophole and got out of this racist hellhole."

"Not that it matters, because they’re both the same to any racist. To me, they’re both brilliant heroes."

"If you asked these mouth breathers what they hate about CRT not only could they not tell you, they would call you “the real racist” for asking. There is no winning with these people because they refuse to see themselves as ANYTHING other than the good guys in any situation. It is fucking tiring to deal with this shit and yet they seem to not understand that we are more fucking tired than they are. With each comment, committee and talking point they pretty much prove that no white person could handle being anything other than well, white."

"To admit anything else would result in a reckoning. It will never happen and America will remain a racist society, with white culture pushing back and getting more extreme as each generation of BIPOC become more aware and angry over white supremacy. America will implode and whatever rises from the ashes will either be that reckoning with real change or a third world country."

Again I quoted these people

[marauder-exe]

AU list!

hi! These are a bunch of Au’s that i could write,and you could request! (reposting because it didnt work the first time)

General

Fake dating (My personal favourite)

Soulmates

Coffee shop

Modern Royalty

Rockstar

Running From The Police

Rebel Against The Goverment

High School

University

Law school

Delayed-Flights-And-Were-Stuck-In-The-Airport-And-Its-Like-2Am

Roommates

Road Trip

Arranged Marriage

Im-Arranged-To-Marry-Your-Brother-But-Were-In-Love

Amnesia

Tattoo-Artist-And-Coffee-Shop-Worker

Loved-Since-Childhood

Professor-Student (of age)

Met-On-Holiday

More detailed

21.You were singing/playing guitar/etc. in the park to protest the war and a policeman tried to dismiss you for 'disturbing the peace' but you argued that you were promoting peace and things got heated and next thing you know you're being arrested for assaulting an officer. You intrigue me, so I'm here to bail you out and maybe take you on a date?

22.the nice one who everybody loves with the grumpy and strict one that the students hate and the students wonder?????????how what the fuck

23.we just had a one-night stand but a massive storm hit so now we’re snowed in, hello awkward

24. i sit at the rental booth at our local ice rink and watch you teach children how to skate

25. alternatively, i watch kids teach you how to skate because you’re a terrible skater

26. i’m running late to an important interview/meeting and you accidentally spill your hot cocoa all over my outfit

27. you’re my hot ski instructor and i’m failing the bunny hill

28. i slip on some ice and you’re the stranger who catches me

29.  i gave my winter coat to a homeless person and come into your store to warm up

30. our friends rent a cabin to go skiing and we’re the only ones who stay inside

31. you’re the asshole of our group and we don’t get along, but then i find out you make soup for the local shelter

32.we’re waiting in line for the club when you complain that your roommate stole your gloves so let me warm your hands up with mine

33.my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and i’m so sorry

34.the power goes out in our apartment building, but i’m not prepared for this, and you come to check on me

35.i’m having a snowball fight with my friend in the park and i hit you instead

36.a storm is delaying our flight home and i’m afraid of thunder, please talk to me while we wait

37. we’re both in small claims court and i got into a huge fight with the person suing me but you stepped in to hold me back before security got there

38. i drove two hours to the closest video rental store that’s still operating and you were checking out the only copy of the movie i was after

39. i hit you with my car but luckily you’re okay, but we should still exchange information i guess

40. i was worried about buying something off of someone creepy from craigslist but oh no you’re hot

41. my friend talked me into playing a drunken game of spin the bottle even though we’re all adults and now we have to make out

42. we both decided to take a [yoga/fencing/cooking etc] class and we’re the only two assholes not taking it seriously and everyone else is giving us dirty looks but we keep grinning over at each other

43. my date just made a scene in public and got arrested and now i’m stranded in a city without a ride home

44. sharing a cab together

45. you’re trying to get me to sign a petition and i have no idea what you’re talking about

46. you’re drunk at this festival and dancing on the table and when you eventually fell i caught you

47. we both play this stupid game online and you keep beating me every single goddamn time so i called you out and you are pretty cute but can you not

48. im a bartender and you just came in here without shoes sat down and ordered a chocolate volcano and idk what the fuck that is and im scared to ask

49. we are neighbours and every night at 3:14 am you start yodeling for no fucking reason??? why???? is that you yodeling??? its been 2 months???

50.im a pizza delivery person and i just delivered a pizza to someone in the middle of a satanic ritual and they gave me their number???

51. i woke up this morning to find you sitting in my living room with a goat in a poncho??? who are you??? why is the goat wearing a poncho??? how did you get the goat in here i live on the 12th floor???

52. we work out at the same gym and you always look super legit but i know you sing hannah montana in the shower and you know i know

53. im a cashier and i saw you stuffing you pants full of potatoes and i would stop you but you already have 27 and i want to see how many you can fit

54. its 4 am and im drunk as fuck in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes

55. i was playing beer pong with a coin and i accidentally threw it right into your eye at a party

56. i’m at the beach and some kids thought it was funny to bury me in the sand when i dozed off can you please dig me out

57. it’s unbearably hot and we’re both fighting over the last handheld electrical fan at the shop at the amusement park

58. hey i just met you, and this is crazy, but i get sunburned really easily so can you please help me put sunscreen on my back?

59. thunderstorm after a menacing heatwave and we’re both getting weird looks for dancing in the rain

60.i have no idea who you are but you just fainted right in front of me holy shit dude you need to drink more in this heat

61. we both chased after the leaving ice cream van like ten-year-olds and now we’re both out of breath and a bit embarrassed

62.i clearly reserved this deck chair by putting a towel on it why on earth are you lying on it who the fuck do you think you are

63. My friends bet I wouldn’t buy these three weird and questionable items and you’re my cashier.

64.Once a week I go visit the pet store just to stare at the cute kittens and puppies and you’re the nice employee who always lets me hold them and wait I think I’m going to cry hold on.

65.You’re the DJ of the University’s radio station and every time you give an opinion on a current event I have to call and argue with you because could you seriously be anymore wrong?

66.We both wait tables at the same restaurant and you’re always mad at me by the end of the night because I make more in tips

67.We have the same class and once a week you wear this graphic shirt I don’t understand and I really want to ask you about it.

68.We both work at the same craft store that literally has no customers so we have nothing to do and I’m always reading at the register but you always have to criticize my book choice what the hell?

69.I’m working the concession stand for this week’s home game and this is the fifth time you’ve come back for snacks wait are you flirting with me?

70. we’re at a bookstore and you and I seem to have similar taste in books have you read this one? How about this one?

71. you look like you need help and I’m a professional roller/ice skater but I don’t want you to feel bad about how much you suck but wow you suck

72. You ordered your food before me and they gave you a drink you didn’t want so you gave it to me

73. We’re sitting at adjacent computers in the library and I’m taking extra care not to look at your screen out of respect but what the fuck do you keep laughing at

74. as a joke I yelled out “happy birthday to someone!” in this store and you called back “thank you!” who are you

75. You heard me talking about a TV show in class the other day and now you’re passionately yelling at me about how good it is we’ve never actually spoken before

76. It’s 10:30 at night and I left my glasses at home so I can’t read any of these labels and you’re one of the only people in the grocery store and GODDAMMIT DO YOU HAVE ANY TOMATO SAUCE WITHOUT CHUNKS

77. We go to the same support group; I have social anxiety and you’re a kleptomaniac who sorta stole my heart

78. You thought you were alone at the bus stop so early in the morning so you started passionately singing Fall Out Boy but your Patrick Stump impression could use some work and I’m not really afraid to point that out

79. I’m an artist and you have a really nice face so would you mind if I drew you?

80. We’re rival up-and-coming singers and every time one of us releases a new single the other does a cover to try to make it better; we’re always trying to top each other and out-cute each other, but half our fans aggressively ship us; our agents use this to their advantage and decide we should do a duet because it’ll be popular; unfortunately now that we’re in the same studio and I’ve seen what you’re like I really wanna know what your lips feel like

81.PLEASE I REALLY CANNOT FIND MY CAT AND I KNOW IT’S THREE A.M. BUT NEIL CATRICK HARRIS AND I WOULD BOTH APPRECIATE THE HELP

82. We were both stood up for dates at the same nice restaurant so we decide to eat together and split the check but I dunno you’re pretty interesting aside from your distractingly enormous eyebrows

83. We met at a mutual friend’s cheesy masquerade party and we agree that the only good thing about this party is the masks so you can’t judge a book by its cover only now that we’ve been talking I want to see your face but I don’t know how to ask

84. You used to date my friend who absolutely hates your guts after a messy breakup and now you’re flirting with me and I really shouldn’t be so interested in you but I am

85.We pass each other every day while we’re biking on the same path so we’ve started smiling at each other and one day you’re stopped because you’re having an asthma attack so I offer you my extra water bottle and now we’re talking and now I’M the one who’s breathless

86.I lost my little sibling in IKEA and I need your help finding them

87.I'm a private detective hired to follow you, but you're endearingly boring and mostly I just like watching you and oops, I sort of find you adorable.

88. You've been sketching me for half an hour now, and just shuffled up to hand me the finished product and it's TERRIBLE but you just wanted an excuse to talk to me.

89.  I'm at an art exhibit and I just badmouthed the art, because I don't get it, okay? And it turns out you're the artist. I'm so sorry, maybe I could get you coffee and you could explain what it was supposed to be?

90. We're the only two people who turned up to an underground gig and it should be awkward, but the band is amazing and you asked me to dance and hey, there's nobody watching but us.

91.  You live in the apartment next to me. We're not supposed to have pets, but I KNOW you have a cat. I'll make you a deal, I won't tell, if you let me pet it.

92.  I punched you because I thought you were insulting my friend, but it turns out you know each other and it was an inside joke and I'm so sorry, let me drive you to the hospital?

93. We both wanted to rent a bike for an hour but the only one they have is a tandem bike

94. I’m on a terrible date and you’re my waitor please help me

95.Our dick landlord just evicted us both

96.I’m your neighbor and I can hear you fucking someone who  shares my name

97. You’re sort of famous and we vaguely know each other through bumping into each other all the time but the media thinks we’re dating

98. Your roommate cheated on me and I just threw your laptop out the window thinking it was his

99. It’s 2am on the night of my 21st birthday and we gotta fix this fucking mess by morning or else we’re fucked

100.Fuck you and your bee farm I’ve had enough

Feel free to use any of these as your own! If you wanna request you could drop an inbox saying ‘ could you do ____ AU with this character’!

[dontasktheradiodemon]

❌ So yesterday night Alastor invited over a guest to cook dinner for.

❌ I could tell the second she arrived because I could hear frigging "Be Our Guest" start up in the lobby.

❌ I tried to avoid that whole scene, but from down a hall I definitely spotted a shadow-thing juggling dishes.

❌ He rewrote the lyrics. I didn't catch all of them, but I did hear "Can they sing? Who can tell! After all, doll, this is Hell!"

❌ If you're on the fence about checking into the hotel and you're a musical theater fan: if you come, there's basically a 100% chance that the Radio Demon will do a musical number for you.

((So @autokrates came over for dinner last night, and we decided not to roleplay it out, but we DID write a long semi-pseudo-roleplay summary of how that meeting would have gone, so for any parties who are interested, HERE'S THAT CHAT LOG))

Valera

So! Largely, I believe. Val showing up, a musical number happens, and then ingredient delivery

Alastor

Sounds right.

Then Alastor preps dinner, spends too much time fussing with this Newfangled Modern Machine With Settings And Dials, and they sit staring at a slow cooker for a while.

Valera

Ah yes, nothing like sitting in dead silence waiting for things with someone you don't know! She should have asked Pentious for-- OH YEAH. Slide a pamphlet over. He can busy himself with memorizing that for a little while

Alastor

He absolutely will. And he will politely play showtunes in the background for the benefit of his guest as he reads.

Valera

Ah, just the thing for her to occupy herself with. Quietly stimming by wiggling her fingers and tail to the music

Alastor

He'd probably say thanks for the info but uh why give it to him? (Not that he doesn't WANT it but like, it seems pretty private, he's surprised that Valera—and Sir Pent?—think he's worthy of being let in on where Sir Pentious is this week)

Alastor three days after falling asleep on the floor all tangled up with Sir Pent: haha yeah but it's not like we're CLOSE is it?

Valera

Dumb old men being dumb!!!

Alastor

HE JUST. ASSUMES HE'S WAY MORE INTO THIS THAN SIR PENT...

Valera

Pentious asked her to elaborate to Alastor what was happening, since she's still got a level head and experience with shedding. Which is convenient, because she'd fully intended to anyway. Pentious may want company, and Alastor needs to be prepared.

Alastor

OuO oh so he trusts Alastor that much huh. He will... file that fact away... somewhere in his heart

Valera

Aside from herself, he's the person Pentious trusts most. Casually sips materialized tea.

Alastor

Immediately tries to play it off like HAHA MUST BE A SHORT LIST. ... Which would probably be funnier if not for the fact that, like, it IS a short list.

Valera

She will... Refrain from commenting on the list being Two People long. But she will raise a very deliberate eyebrow at the way he avoids any signs of emotional attachment

Which actually reminds her! She owes him an apology.

Maybe multiple? Whatever.

Alastor

(He might be verbally avoiding signs of emotional attachment but outside of that, like, it's gonna be hard for her not to notice that his attention on the conversation goes from like 75% to 110% the moment Sir Pent comes into it and he drops everything to focus on the Info Pamphlet That Might Be Helpful For Sir Pent)

Genuinely :)? at that, apology for what

Valera

Well, a few things! Pentious shared Alastor's letters with her, which, yes he was asking for input, but it was a bit invasive.

Alastor

Goes from :)? to :]

Valera

And then for, what was it, outing him? The post was taken down, but if Pentious had mixed feelings about it, well. She can't assume how Alastor felt even if she did say it was an Opinion Piece.

Shrug!!

Alastor

Oh THAT? Sure Alastor thinks he saw that go by now that Val mentions it. It's exactly what she said: an opinion piece!!! Why, he's an infamous celebrity! Everyone has an opinion on him and most of them are wrong! He doesn't put much stock in them~

Valera

Regardless! Her bluntness charms some, but it can also be quite inappropriate. She hopes it didn't distress him too much, it was never her intention.

She is a POLITICIAN.

Alastor

Why, he hardly even noticed it.

Valera

Good! Looping back around to her beau, did Alastor have any other questions?

Alastor

... Anything he can send to help out?

(NOW he's all self-conscious, offering to do something NICE. gotta try to be all aloof about it)

Valera

(Wow he really IS like Pentious but Even Worse.. She is amazed.) Send? Oh, no dear fellow. Asking for food today was largely a cover to visit without having Vaggie relay all this information thirdhand. Though he did do quite a fine job of making the food, Pentious will love it.

(assuming, but the Smell)

Alastor

✨💖 Oh will he? That's good. 💖✨

Valera

Yes. Alastor cut the vegetables and meat into the perfect sizes to avoid a texture issue, couldn't have done it better herself. Prr prr

Alastor

(He's like Texture Issue???? but like. He's not gonna ask.)

Valera

She will GLOSS PAST THAT, THEN. Beyond the food, which was a lovely bonus, hmm... No, she's already providing the lotions and voice recordings for Pentious. Unless he's willing to be an in house cheer squad when the snake gets bored and blind, there isn't much he could do.

Alastor

Well, he'd be glad to come over for a visit if it'd lift his spirits—if Sir Pentious would want the visit?

Valera

She expects he will! He's.. Distressed.

Uncomfortable shift. SHE DOESN'T LIKE BEING SO VAGUE.

Alastor

Well now she's got 150% of Alastor's attention.

Valera

Twitchy Tail Time!!! Yes. Well, the pamphlet makes it very dry, but a shed is nothing short of agony. Itchy, painful, it leaves you blind and helpless. If you've already got... experiences with such things. It makes it worse. Pentious is barely into it and he's already ready to attack anything that moves.

Alastor

... Well! Let Alastor know when he can come by.

(He's got trouble wrapping his head around the idea of WANTING company while pained and helpless, but if Valera says he does, then Alastor is going by that)

(... and if Sir Pent gets pissed Alastor came over he's 100% pointing a finger at Val and going "well she said you'd like it")

Valera

(LMAO)

(Val would explain it as wanting a strong person present so you can feel protected and finally relax)

(She's appealed to Pentious' ego with that!!)

Hah! Yes, of course. Though he may need to go to Valera's home, fair warning. She's trying to coax Pentious into laying in her tub to get through this. She's got more equipment to deal with the symptoms, and a larger bathroom by far.

Alastor

Having a near stranger over sounds like something that should worry Valera more than Alastor! For him, it's a bonus.

Valera

OH MAKE NO MISTAKE. VAL'S NOT SURE ABOUT IT

BUT. she's confident Alastor isn't going to do anything dumb in her house

bc Pentious would FLIP SHIT

Alastor

She's already decided that Alastor won't behave himself out of basic decency as a guest or even out of a desire to maybe get invited back but he WILL behave himself solely because Sir Pent is there and he's feeling kind of called out. Called out in his own kitchen, in front of his own crock pot,

Valera

Raises an eyebrow

She's grinning but she shouldn't be when she's acting like a little shit

Alastor

BUT WHAT HE ACTUALLY SAYS IS of course he'll be on his best behavior :) :) :)

WHY IT'S NOT EVERY DAY HE MEETS SOMEONE WITH SUCH FINE TASTE IN THE PERFORMING ARTS, he'd be a fool to be a poor guest

Valera

Glad to hear it! He's been nothing but a perfect gentleman so far, but with the way Pentious rants about other demons, an abundance of caution seems wise. Nothing personal, dear fellow.

Demon culture is very much a mystery to her, and a confusing one at that.

Alastor

COMPLETELY reasonable. After all, everyone is down here for a reason.

Valera

She would agree, if the concept of sin wasn't such an odd one! It comes down to survival of the fittest, at the end. But just because some pompous sky man says he loves you if you follow his contradictory rules, humans are doomed to eternal torment? It's bizarre.

Ah, but excuse her. Her viewpoint is, literally, alien.

Alastor

You make the world, you make the rules. What is the guy powerful enough to give the orders and see that they're obeyed if not "the fittest"? Who has the power to argue if he prints a list of criteria for who he does and doesn't want joining him in his gated community in the sky?

He's told someone tried to argue with him once. And that's how THIS little neighborhood got started.

Valera

Oh, it's not so bad. Heaven is a pretty dull place! All sorts of goody two shoes drinking tea and baking pies in the perfect idyllic weather. Forever.

Alastor

You know, for a time, Alastor used to think that all the "punishment" narratives around Hell were just talk. He had this theory that, actually, humans were sent to the afterlife they were better suited for. The people sent to Heaven are the kind of people who'd LIKE being in Heaven, the people sent to Hell are the kind of people who would be bored stiff in Heaven and just make it miserable for the people who want to be there.

But he was wrong. It really, truly is rotten down here. Not just because of the wilted vegetables and awful weather. Hell grinds at you on a spiritual level. It really is a punishment.

Valera

Well that's.. A lot at once. Vaguely concerned frown.. That she is going to cover with her tea turning to a Nice Dark Coffee. SSSssssssSSSIP.

Alastor

Just thought she might benefit from an insider perspective! She can rest assured: the pie-baking tea-drinkers really are better off.

:) :) :)

Valera

Interesting! She's never spent much time in Hell out of arms reach of Pentious, but that's something to keep in mind for the future.

Alastor

Happy to help~!

Valera

[[ val voice: haha yeah whenever I'm in hell I'm getting doted on but I'll keep an eye out for emotional wear and tear!

Alastor

(It's different for visitors who only come to chat with the convicts)

Valera

(Of course. More for Pentious than herself, she doesn't know a lot of his backstory yet BUT SHE KNOWS ITS SAD)

Now, moving to happier topics! She loves what hes done with the hair. Though it makes him rather fresh faced

Alastor

WHY, THANK YOU!! It was all the rage a hundred years ago! But they do say fashion trends come back around!!

Sir Pentious wasn't as impressed by it, but, hey, can't win them all, can you?

Valera

Ah, don't worry about it. He just takes a bit to come around to change!

... Usually.

Alastor

Well, doesn't matter, he probably won't be keeping it long.

"Usually"?

Valera

She grins!!! Yes, usually. He's remarkably easy to get on board with just about anything if you can relate to something else he likes.

Alastor

Well, naturally! Who isn't?

Valera

The LOOK on her face is like she SUCKED A LEMON.

You'd be surprised.

Alastor

... Apparently so!

he's gone from :) to 8) like what did he just step in

Valera

NOTHING SHE'S GETTING INTO! Now, tell her dear man. What kind of musicals do you like?

Alastor

............... All of them???

Valera

Oh? Everything from Les Mis to Cats?

Anything Goes?

Alastor

Are those the two extremes? Then apparently so! What about you?!

Valera

She has preferences when she's PERFORMING in them, but from an enjoyment perspective, she can appreciate any production.

Alastor

A fan after his own dead heart!

Valera

She can do a MEAN patter song, but she likes being able to dance around while she's belting lines out. Acrobatics are where she can really show off!

Alastor

Well, then he hopes he'll have a chance to see her dancing sooner rather than later! Alastor never received much in the way in formal training in dance, and he's sure it shows, but he likes to think he makes up for it with personality.

Valera

Oh pish posh. Dance is at least fifty percent attitude, he'd be phenomenal on or off the stage. And she can always give pointers, if he's looking for them.

Alastor

He really only does it for his own entertainment—AND for the entertainment of honored guests, of course—but if he ever decides to get back into theater for whatever reason, he'll keep her generous offer in mind.

Valera

Of course! Not like she's going to do a lot of dancing with Pentious here. Her love is many things, but a dancer is not one of them. Snrk snrk.

Alastor

Really. Huh.

So how DID they meet, anyway?? Alastor's been wondering! Hard for sinners to meet many people outside of Hell.

Valera

Oh! Haha, funny story, that. But how much detail does he REALLY want?

Alastor

Well, far be it from him to pry into anything she doesn't think she ought to share, of course. But he wouldn't have asked if he didn't wonder.

Valera

Fair! Alright, well. They met on tumblr, obviously. Pentious was flailing about being combative and intentionally aggressive. You know. Pentious.

Alastor

Naturally.

Valera

She decided to approach him without the immediate hostility so many of her peers were demonstrating. Doesn't everyone deserve a chance to explain themselves, after all? He seemed like he was lashing out, not truly malicious. Nobody had bothered explaining to him that what he did was wrong, or why.

And, you know. If you attack someone, you can't be surprised if they attack you right back. Obviously.

Alastor

Obviously.

Valera

So! Yes. She approached him, asked questions. Asked for his side of things. And they got along just fine! So she invited him over for tea, arguably. But mostly he invited himself over because she made too much tea.

Alastor

So just a chance encounter while adrift among the Internet's airwaves! How serendipitous.

Valera

More or less! Though really, she'd spoken to Alastor more at that point. Other Alastor. He'd been inviting her over to his hell, so she'd likely have met Pentious under very different circumstances if she hadn't approached him then.

But! He came over, and they talked. And they talked a LOT. About their passions, and about how ridiculous people can be these days.

And gods, can they. Then they decided to watch The Mikado! Has he heard of it?

Alastor

Has he heard of it?! One of Gilbert & Sullivan's most renown shows?! Madam! Of course he had!

Valera

Oh good, good good! He continues to impress! So lovely to know there are other people with taste around here. So yes! They watched The Mikado, and it went.. Almost alarmingly well. At the start they were on opposite ends of the couch, and by the end he was sprawled across her lap like he lived there.

Alastor

...... Well!

He warms up to people fast.

Valera

Haha! Perhaps he was simply overly pleased to connect with someone again, and let his guard down? They wound up making out on the couch like a pair of horny teens, so.

Alastor

...... Well!

Valera

Sssssips drink.

Alastor

............ Congratulations! (he has No Idea what you're supposed to say to that)

Valera

Thanks! (She doesn't either) Want to know an incredibly adorable fact about Penny?

Alastor

Sure!!

(he is retaining a Remarkable poker face through all this)

Valera

He likes it when you scratch his hood. Makes him melt in to a happy little pile of scales.

(someone please... Help Alastor....)

Alastor

Ha! Well, isn't that darling.

(The only one who can help Alastor is Alastor himself and he's like "why should I help, what's that bitch ever done for me")

Valera

Very. Should he ever deign to let you try it, the results are best from juuust the very joint of his neck and hood.

(ALASTOR PRACTICE SELF CARE)

Alastor

(FOR THE LAST HALF CENTURY HIS SELF CARE HAS BEEN AVOIDING SEEING/THINKING ABOUT SIR PENT EVER AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. He still needs to figure out how to do a self-care that's the opposite of that!)

Duly noted! Alastor's sure it'll never happen, but even so.

Valera

Oh, she isn't so sure! Penny speaks fondly of him.

Alastor

... Hm.

Well, there are different sorts of fondness, aren't there!

Valera

Well, yes of course? She's fond of many people, but she isn't exactly engaged to the vast majority of them. What is his point?

Alastor

That THAT'S the sort of intimacy one usually reserves for someone closer to the "engaged" end of the fondness scale—hold on, engaged??

Valera

Oh? Yes, engaged. Anyway, is it? This must be one of those human things again. There's nothing sexual about enjoying platonic physical contact, there's no reason for it to be relegated to a relationship.

Alastor

Well, what does Alastor know, he's never been a very touchy person. SO, how long have you two been...? Well, probably since before Alastor met either of you, silly question! He just must not have heard.

Valera

Oh, no it's.. Arguably recent? Certainly after he and Pentious started talking. Though don't get too fussed, dear. Pentious has a ring he hasn't lobbed at her yet. They've just agreed to get married, Pentious refers to her as his fiancé. No dates set or anything.

Alastor

Oh, good, so he didn't miss some big announcement. That WOULD have been embarrassing

Valera

He did not! And really, with how he and Pentious get along he might wind up getting asked for advice if a proposal ever actually occurs.

Alastor

... He doesn't know what kind of advice he could offer! He's not known for his expertise in romance, ha.

((suddenly got a flashing glimpse of a possible future where Alastor is the best man, standing like five feet away from Sir Pent trying to hold it together))

Valera

[[ JFDHFKDSHJFKDS HONESTLY.... IT'S LIKELY

Valera

You know, she doesn't think any of them are! Marriage isn't something Veci usually do with aliens, but Pentious insisted he wanted a proper marriage, and kids, and she's not opposed to either if that makes him happy. Though seeing him with the dolls is incredibly endearing.

Alastor

((And I will be FILLED TO THE BRIM with sadistic glee))

The dolls??

Valera

[[ Alastor crying ASMR

Alastor

(("Al are you okay—" "YEAH I'M FINE IT'S JUST. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. ISN'T IT. SO MOVING."))

Valera

Yes! Would you like to hear that story?

Alastor

SURE!!

Valera

Super! So! She doesn't know ALASTOR'S stance on calling women things like sluts and whores, but she herself is.. Not terribly fond of those words. Something about having them screamed at her, just doesn't sit well.

Alastor

One rarely is fond of the words one's been on the receiving end of.

Valera

Indeed. Pentious on the other hand, used them quite freely against any woman he wasn't pleased with.

But! Pentious wants kids someday, and kids are of course, quite perceptive little creatures. And no child of hers is going to grow up internalizing that kind of nonsense, either as a measure of their worth or as something a proper young man calls any lady.

So! She made a few dolls, to demonstrate her point. Pentious wants kids, so she made him some dolls that resemble what his offspring would.

And then hurled abuse at them quite freely!

He didn't take kindly to hearing what random men would call his own daughter, funnily enough.

Alastor

Alastor's like lmao. (IT SEEMS KINDA MEAN AND MEAN THINGS AMUSE HIM... he's half powered by schadenfreude)

Valera

(It WAS mean)

Alastor

And he takes it that worked.

Valera

Pentious can often be found curled up with his little doll family, and he hasn't used a slur since, so! Yes.

Alastor

No surprise there! He is, at his heart, a family man in hibernation, isn't he?

Valera

Not even in hibernation! He's incredibly eager to start a family.

Alastor

Of course. Now that he has the chance. Probably the only man in Hell who does.

Formerly in hibernation, then.

Valera

Can sinners not reproduce?

Alastor

No! Sterile, one and all. The dead do not breed. There are the few rare exceptions who have been supernaturally promoted out of the pool of the damned and made nobility of the same rank as the native Infernal-born or Heaven-fallen demons—Queen Lilith, for instance—but that's not just a thing that HAPPENS. A sinner must be CHOSEN, typically by Lucifer himself. Alastor wouldn't be surprised if it happens less than twice a millennium.

And even at that, to his knowledge these ascendant damned have never bred with each other—only with the Infernal nobility.

Valera

Huh! Fascinating. She really should learn more about the going ons of hell... But good to know! That explains the way Pentious.. Basically went feral as soon as he found out it was possible to have a family.

She's still not sure about the whole "eyes going red" thing, but he's explained it as any peak of emotion.

Alastor

It happens!

... Did you account for the possibility of him being sterile when you promised him a family? Or did you make the promise on the assumption that he's as fertile as any living man?

Valera

Oh, she can reproduce with anyone who has a soul. Pentious IS a damned soul. Ergo...

Alastor

Getting around the usual rules, then! Good. Alastor would so hate to hear if he'd gotten his hopes raised just for them to be dashed again.

Valera

Oh, she was careful to check! Many demons are soulless beings, and she hates to be made a liar of. Though she wasn't even sure poor Pentious even had genitals at the time!

Alastor

Well. Surprise.

Valera

She is Looking Away

Yes... Surprise indeed.

Alastor

He is the picture of :) neutrality

Valera

Val is trying very hard to keep the conversation from going to DARK PLACES. So!!! Subject change time.

Did you and he have fun at your last visit? He tends to give her a summary, but it's nice to hear the other perspective

Alastor

OH. YES. SURE. DELIGHTFUL TIME.

Valera

Oh? Delightful?

Alastor

Yeah, sure! ... Why, did he not think so?

Valera

Oh! He.. Got very drunk. His memories get fuzzy.

Alastor

... Well, that was half of what made it delightful!

Valera

She wouldn't know, but she's very glad to hear it!

Alastor

You abstain? Or not biologically capable?

Valera

Oh, neither. Rarely have the chance to actually relax anymore, too many attempts to murder her over the years. Regicide is very in, you know.

Alastor

Heavy is the head!

Valera

Hah! He can say that again. It's a thankless job. But somebody's got to do it.

Alastor

((I'M RUNNIN OUT OF STEAM... and they chatted about a lot more than I expected, this was productive!! Anywhere else you think we oughta steer the conversation or d'you think it's safe to go And Then They Chatted More, The End))

Valera

[[ NAH I THINK ITS BEEN ESTABLISHED WELL ENOUGH. STEER BACK TO MUSICALS, THEY TALK SHOP, AND THEN WHAM FOOD

[mairi-mia1]

AN AMAZING STORY...

Here is an amazing story from a flight attendant on Delta Flight 15, written following 9-11

On the morning of Tuesday, September 11, we were about 5 hours out of Frankfurt, flying over the North Atlantic .

All of a sudden the curtains parted and I was told to go to the cockpit, immediately, to see the captain. As soon as I got there I noticed that the crew had that "All Business" look on their faces. The captain handed me a printed message. It was from Delta's main office in Atlanta and simply read, "All airways over the Continental United States are closed to commercial air traffic. Land ASAP at the nearest airport. Advise your destination."

No one said a word about what this could mean. We knew it was a serious situation and we needed to find terra firma quickly. The captain determined that the nearest airport was 400 miles behind us in Gander, New Foundland.

He requested approval for a route change from the Canadian traffic controller and approval was granted immediately -- no questions asked. We found out later, of course, why there was no hesitation in approving our request.

While the flight crew prepared the airplane for landing, another message arrived from Atlanta telling us about some terrorist activity in the New York area. A few minutes later word came in about the hijackings.

We decided to LIE to the passengers while we were still in the air. We told them the plane had a simple instrument problem and that we needed to land at the nearest airport in Gander , New Foundland, to have it checked out.

We promised to give more information after landing in Gander .. There was much grumbling among the passengers, but that's nothing new! Forty minutes later, we landed in Gander. Local time at Gander was 12:30 PM .... that's 11:00 AM EST.

There were already about 20 other airplanes on the ground from all over the world that had taken this detour on their way to the US.

After we parked on the ramp, the captain made the following announcement: "Ladies and gentlemen, you must be wondering if all these airplanes around us have the same instrument problem as we have. The reality is that we are here for another reason."

Then he went on to explain the little bit we knew about the situation in the US. There were loud gasps and stares of disbelief. The captain informed passengers that Ground control in Gander told us to stay put.

The Canadian Government was in charge of our situation and no one was allowed to get off the aircraft. No one on the ground was allowed to come near any of the air crafts. Only airport police would come around periodically, look us over and go on to the next airplane.

In the next hour or so more planes landed and Gander ended up with 53 airplanes from all over the world, 27 of which were US commercial jets.

Meanwhile, bits of news started to come in over the aircraft radio and for the first time we learned that airplanes were flown into the World Trade Center in New York and into the Pentagon in DC.

People were trying to use their cell phones, but were unable to connect due to a different cell system in Canada . Some did get through, but were only able to get to the Canadian operator who would tell them that the lines to the U.S. were either blocked or jammed.

Sometime in the evening the news filtered to us that the World Trade Center buildings had collapsed and that a fourth hijacking had resulted in a crash. By now the passengers were emotionally and physically exhausted, not to mention frightened, but everyone stayed amazingly calm.

We had only to look out the window at the 52 other stranded aircraft to realize that we were not the only ones in this predicament.

We had been told earlier that they would be allowing people off the planes one plane at a time. At 6 PM, Gander airport told us that our turn to deplane would be 11 am the next morning.

Passengers were not happy, but they simply resigned themselves to this news without much noise and started to prepare themselves to spend the night on the airplane.

Gander had promised us medical attention, if needed, water, and lavatory servicing.

And they were true to their word.

Fortunately we had no medical situations to worry about. We did have a young lady who was 33 weeks into her pregnancy. We took REALLY good care of her. The night passed without incident despite the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements.

About 10:30 on the morning of the 12th a convoy of school buses showed up. We got off the plane and were taken to the terminal where we went through Immigration and Customs and then had to register with the Red Cross.

After that we (the crew) were separated from the passengers and were taken in vans to a small hotel. We had no idea where our passengers were going. We learned from the Red Cross that the town of Gander has a population of 10,400 people and they had about 10,500 passengers to take care of from all the airplanes that were forced into Gander!

We were told to just relax at the hotel and we would be contacted when the US airports opened again, but not to expect that call for a while.

We found out the total scope of the terror back home only after getting to our hotel and turning on the TV, 24 hours after it all started.

Meanwhile, we had lots of time on our hands and found that the people of Gander were extremely friendly. They started calling us the "plane people." We enjoyed their hospitality, explored the town of Gander and ended up having a pretty good time.

Two days later, we got that call and were taken back to the Gander airport. Back on the plane, we were reunited with the passengers and found out what they had been doing for the past two days.

What we found out was incredible.....

Gander and all the surrounding communities (within about a 75 Kilometer radius) had closed all high schools, meeting halls, lodges, and any other large gathering places. They converted all these facilities to mass lodging areas for all the stranded travelers.

Some had cots set up, some had mats with sleeping bags and pillows set up.

ALL the high school students were required to volunteer theirtime to take care of the "guests."

Our 218 passengers ended up in a town called Lewisporte, about 45 kilometers from Gander where they were put up in a high school. If any women wanted to be in a women-only facility, that was arranged.

Families were kept together. All the elderly passengers were taken to private homes.

Remember that young pregnant lady? She was put up in a private home right across the street from a 24-hour Urgent Care facility.There was a dentist on call and both male and female nurses remained with the crowd for the duration.

Phone calls and e-mails to the U.S. and around the world were available to everyone once a day. During the day, passengers were offered "Excursion" trips.

Some people went on boat cruises of the lakes and harbors. Some went for hikes in the local forests.

Local bakeries stayed open to make fresh bread for the guests.

Food was prepared by all the residents and brought to the schools. People were driven to restaurants of their choice and offered wonderful meals. Everyone was given tokens for local laundry mats to wash their clothes, since luggage was still on the aircraft.

In other words, every single need was met for those stranded travelers.

Passengers were crying while telling us these stories. Finally, when they were told that U.S. airports had reopened, they were delivered to the airport right on time and without a single passenger missing or late. The local Red Cross had all the information about thewhereabouts of each and every passenger and knew

which plane they needed to be on and when all the planes were leaving. They coordinated everything beautifully.

It was absolutely incredible.

When passengers came on board, it was like they had been on a cruise. Everyone knew each other by name. They were swapping stories of their stay, impressing each other with who had the better time. Our flight back to Atlanta looked like a chartered party flight. The crew just stayed out of their way. It was mind-boggling.

Passengers had totally bonded and were calling each other by their first names, exchanging phone numbers, addresses, and email addresses.

And then a very unusual thing happened.

One of our passengers approached me and asked if he could make an announcement over the PA system. We never, ever allow that. But this time was different. I said "of course" and handed him the mike. He picked up the PA and reminded everyone about what they had just gone through in the last few days.

He reminded them of the hospitality they had received at the hands of total strangers.

He continued by saying that he would like to do something in return for the good folks of Lewisporte.

"He said he was going to set up a Trust Fund under the name of DELTA 15 (our flight number). The purpose of the trust fund is to provide college scholarships for the high school students of Lewisporte.

He asked for donations of any amount from his fellow travelers. When the paper with donations got back to us with the amounts, names, phone numbers and addresses, the total was for more than $14,000!

"The gentleman, a MD from Virginia , promised to match the donations and to start the administrative work on the scholarship. He also said that he would forward this proposal to Delta Corporate and ask them to donate as well.

As I write this account, the trust fund is at more than $1.5 million and has assisted 134 students in college education.

"I just wanted to share this story because we need good stories right now. It gives me a little bit of hope to know that some people in a faraway place were kind to some strangers who literally dropped in on them.

It reminds me how much good there is in the world."

"In spite of all the rotten things we see going on in today's world this story confirms that there are still a lot of good people in the world and when things get bad, they will come forward.

*This is one of those stories that need to be shared. Please do so...*

[dysphoric-dumbass13]

guess what bitch. all of the flower asks. if i have to do it, you have to do it

Hahaha, love you too. Asshole.

Alisons: Sexuality? - Hahahaha bold of you to assume I have any clue. I like girls. I like guys. I like nonbinary people. And other people on the spectrum. I’m not pan, idk what though. Plus the label doesn’t really matter.

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender? - I’m a demiboy, so he/him/his or they/them/theirs. Whichever, it doesn’t really matter. Though I personally feel more masculine.

Amaryllis: Birthday? - Today lol (January 13th)

Anemone: Favorite flower? - Would it be cliche and stupid to say roses? Because those. Weirdly.

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show? - Damn that’s hard. Between BBC Sherlock, BBC Merlin, Supernatural, Once Upon A Time, and John Mulaney (shut up it counts)

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger? - It really depends on the situation. I would give away clothing, risk my life, give them shelter in my home, allow them to borrow my phone, but them lunch... I’d do a lot for anyone. Even though I have trust issues.

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes? - “Yeah, the asshole who sent me this (love you alex)” - @eyeforaneye-toothforatooth lmao. Truly though? “Your destiny is calling, you better find out what he wants.” and “A half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole.”, both from Merlin, about Merlin and Arthur. They're just so gay.

Aubrieta: Favorite drink? - Tea.

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - Meh. Sure. I don’t really care. The one right before that by like 10 seconds, 100%.

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love? - Yes. Oh god yes.

Baneberries: Favorite song? - Literally impossible. You are insane.

Basket of Gold: Describe your family. - A disaster. Both biological and chosen. I have 3 little brothers in my chosen family and all of them are younger than me.

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it? - I have 5. The bitch who sent me this (love you), Evan, TJ, Shiro, and Sid.

Begonia: Favorite color? - Bloodred and black.

Bellflower: Favorite animal? - Wolves. They’re amazing.

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person? - I’m not a person. But mornings fuck me up dude.

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be? - A dodo bird. Because they’re all dead.

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? - So many things. A lead singer of a band (which I might get to do soon, yay), a policeman, an fbi agent, a photographer, etc. 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children? - I love them, I’d probably adopt older children because they need it the most, but I love children so much.

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why? - I answered this earlier, “I am afraid of spiders. Because they have so many legs and so many eyes and THEY DON’T FUCKING NEED ALL OF THEM LIKE WTF?!?!?!?!?!”

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood. - About 75% of the food my brother and I ate was Ramen, Pop Tarts, and instant rice.

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth? - With the people I love the most.

Buttercup: Relationship status? - Sadly single :(

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go? - Ireland. Without a doubt. It’s so beautiful.

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved? - I answered this one too. “When I’m cuddling with someone I care about while watching one of my favorite shows or movies. Or just when I’m cuddling someone I care about. And yes, that includes my puppy. (Funny joke, I’m watching Merlin while watching Merlin) (Merlin is my puppy).”

Canna: Do you have any tattoos? - Sadly no. I will though.

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings? - Two in each ear.

California Poppy: Height? - 5′3½″

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts? - Yeah.

Carnation: What are you currently wearing? - Jeans and a flannel, as always.

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight? - Yes.

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged? - Sid. He’s the best, honestly.

Chrysanthemum: Who was the last person you kissed? - TJ. He’s basically my brother. The person before that was Shiro, and both of those were New Years Day at like midnight.

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font? - Calligraphy. It’s so fun to write in. But in computers, Times New Roman for some reason.

Columbine: Are you tired? - *in Snape’s voice* Alllllllways

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to? - A good night’s sleep for once.

Coneflower: Dream job? - Lead singer of a rock band, which I’ll probably get to do soon!

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert? - Extrovert, definitely.

Crocus: Have you ever been in love? - This question was already asked. But yes.

Crown Imperial: What’s the furthest you’d go for someone you care about? - To the ends of the Earth.

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it? - Yes. It was a huge stuffed cheetah. Now it’s a giant stuffed bear from Evan.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign? - Capricorn. I was supposed to be an Aquarius. And I personally think I’m an Aquarius more than a Capricorn.

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering? - Not really. Other than date people.

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment? - I don’t fucking know. Winning the school spelling bee in 5th grade?

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)? - I wouldn’t care. If I love them and they love me, that’s all that matters to me.

Dandrobium: Who is the last person you said “I love you” to? - Sid I think.

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at? - Idk. Singing?

Foxgloves: What is something you’re bad at? - Everything.

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened to you in the last month? - I got a puppy, I got my binder, I gave my (now ex) girlfriend the best gift I’ve ever given in my life.

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today? - Considering all I’ve done is watched Merlin, type this, and cuddle with Merlin? Pretty good.

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you're at in your life? - Nope.

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two? - Die :)

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life? - In no particular order: @eyeforaneye-toothforatooth, Evan, TJ, Shiro, Sid, Merlin, BBC Merlin, Sherlock, Supernatural, Harry Potter

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? - Healthily? Dying my hair, listening to music, reading, writing, and getting hugs.

Hellebore: How do you show your affection? - Many ways. Mostly hand hearts, gifts, trust, and hugs.

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of? - My flannel collection. I don’t know the exact number but it’s immense.

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day. - cuddling with my friends while watching shows and movies and reading.

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time? - Read. Write. Listen to music. Watch TV. Cuddle.

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them? - ok gimme a sec.

@eyeforaneye-toothforatooth: They hated me when we met. We’ve known each other for... 3 or 4 years? We met in science in 6th grade I think.

Evan: We met in 6th grade. They noticed we had the same flannel on and commented on it. I hated them for like 2 years. Then we became friends, dated, now we’re best friends. I love them so much.

TJ: He was a friend of my best friend’s friend. Started hanging out in 7th grade, been like brothers ever since.

Shiro: Barely knew each other, then kinda “met” in 8th grade. Quickly became friends, dated, became best friends ever since.

Sid: Met him in SAGA this year. He bought me a binder, he’s the kindest person to me at my new school. I love him so much.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything? - I can talk to @eyeforaneye-toothforatooth about practically everything. I love them so much.

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have? - Surprisingly a lot.

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? - Idk. “You look very handsome today.”?

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself? - What an utter piece of garbage.

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself? - My eyebrows? Idk they look cool, especially when I do them. One’s got a slit.

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself? - All of it.

Lilac: What is something you liked to do as a child? - Sleep. When I could.

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid? - It changed at least once every year. Paige, Sheyenne, Peyton, Chloe, the list goes on.

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty of? - I followed everyone in kinda making fun of this kid who was a trans girl. I felt so guilty about it then, and I feel so guilty about it now. I hope she is living her best life now, and if she’s reading this I want her to know I am so so sorry. And I have felt it too, I have been made fun of for my gender identification. I am so sorry.

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about? - Idk. There’s one thing I’m sworn not to tell about but the person who asked me this knows, so it doesn’t matter.

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name? - My deadname? Means “grace of god”, because my family is very Christian. My chosen name? Means “Defender of men; protector of mankind.” Which is honestly just so badass. I chose it because I liked it and it was genderneutral.

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it. - Fort Collins, Colorado babyyyyyyyyy. It was nice and peaceful and small and I loved it.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up? - Small. Always a disaster. Sadly shared with my brother.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years? - So far? Sucky as fuck. I hate it. I love my friends, but other than that I hate it. I’m only like halfway through them anyway. It’s been spent trying to prove to my parents that I am just as good as my brother, who I happened to raise.

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom. - Awesome. Sweet and kind, short, with red hair, hazel eyes, and freckles. She’s caring, and she was raised in a Christian house but she’s trying so hard to be accepting, to fight against her religion for her child and I love that so much. I love her so much.

Onions: Tell about your dad. - Kinda annoying. Plays video games all day and makes my brother and I do everything around the house. He tries to be nice and stuff but it really doesn’t work that well. He basically says he “doesn’t care” about the whole sexuality thing and gender thing and then he says stuff like “you can’t really know til your hormones have settled” and “Your name is your name until you can legally change it.” It’s stupid.

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents. - Which ones? I have multiple. I have 4 grandmas and 4 grandpas. Tho I suppose they’re all pretty similar. Very Christian, yet pretty accepting. They love me to death. I have one super transphobic grandpa, but basically all of them helped me raise my brother when I was little and my dad was asleep from working nights and my mom was at work all day. I owe them a lot. And I love them so much.

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it so memorable? - My 12th. My best friend Val was there and so was my friend Tei and that was it, and they basically got along too well and I was really left out of things at my own birthday party. It was annoying. It was the first time I ever felt true jealousy, and that’s why I remember it so well. I haven’t liked a birthday since because it reminds me of that. I used to like it because it was a day when my parents actually payed attention to me and were off, but now everyone makes too big of a deal of it and I just wish it didn’t exist.

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any? - SAGA club, he founded it a couple years ago. He’s super kind to me and he does so much for me, god I don’t deserve him. He bought me a binder. And he’s my best friend. I love him so much.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain? - Healthily? Getting hugs and cuddles from my better friends. I can’t really do much of that lately though. *cries in a corner*

Pink: Where is home? - With the family and friends I’ve found.

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change? - Wow. Hard choice. I’d either kill Hitler as a baby, or prevent my own conception.

Prarie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them. - Sid if you’re reading this I am so sorry, and I’m so sorry for mentioning you so much. But I look up to him, because he is one of the best people I know. I love him so much. He’s sweet and just sadncaspdnnhciodsifcnsjxsojcm.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life. - Idc what’s going on in it, as long as it’s with my found family and friends. I’d like my depression, anxiety, and ADHD to disappear though, ideally.

Rhondendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child? - Jesus. Or life. Either one works.

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life? - That’s hard. @eyeforaneye-toothforatooth, Sid, Evan, TJ, Shiro, Freddie Mercury, Elton John, or David Bowie (may Mercury and Bowie rest in peace)

Rose: What’s your favorite sound? - Music. Definitely music.

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory? - When I was at our first organized rehearsal for OneActs. I just love hanging out with so many fellow gays (and yes, I am including the straight twink that is Simon)

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory? - Um, I don’t want to go into detail on that. I was 5. It was bad.

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want? - A boyfriend lol

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things? - Depends. In a relationship? Pretty easy. Any other time? Near impossible until I break.

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine your life without? - There’s 3. Pie, music, and my brother TJ.

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night? - I doped myself up on melatonin so about 7½. Usually its between 1 and 4, if I’m lucky enough to fall asleep.

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning? - The people I care most about. My best friends. Also the reason I don’t stab myself through the heart. They keep me going. I love them all so much. They mean too much to me to hurt them, if I could in any way.

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job? - Living or school? Either one I hate it. I don’t have an actual job.

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing? - My flannels. Or my band tees. Or my leather jacket from TJ.

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic. - I don’t fully know what this is asking. I guess the smell of worn flannel, old worn leather, grease from a car, hair dye, smudged eyeliner, and conjoined lips? Idk.

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you? - Idk. Best present I’ve ever recieved was a binder. But I’d say worn flannel from a thrift store.

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now? - Grandparents spamming my phone with “Happy Birthday [deadname]!!!” texts

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the last few months? What were they called? - Idk dude.

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year? - Dead or with a partner.

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is? - Oddly enough, no. But I don’t think I want to.

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself. - I have green eyes.

Kass I hate you.

[thelawyerthatwaspromised]

Analyzing Jon’s Speech Patterns around Dany and Sansa (cont.)

*Spoiler, this is very long.

Awhile back, I did a statistical analysis of how frequently Jon spoke when he was around Dany as compared to Sansa (and Jon with Dany versus Jon not with Dany) (x) and discovered the following:

Daenerys dominated the “speaking volume” in their shared scenes in Season 7.

Jon’s was on screen with Daenerys almost as often as he wasn’t...yet he spoke about 3x more frequently when Daenerys wasn’t in the scene.

While sharing far less screen time with Sansa in S7, Jon still spoke nearly as much dialogue in their shared scenes as he did with Daenerys in S7.

Now, I’m sure some might be wondering why this matters. Maybe the scripts just didn’t lend themselves to Jon going on long winded monologues. Maybe shouldn’t be “how much Jon spoke”, but “with what quality did Jon speak?”

This is focusing on the content of Jon’s dialogue in S7 to try to quantify what people who feel that Jon-Dany romance fell flat: it wasn’t bad acting, it was the deliberate withholding of pertinent personal information that defined the lack of depth in the build up to the Jon-Dany perceived romance.

First, I’ll describe my methods, then I’ll show some results!

1) I love statistics;

2) I am careful about how I use them;

3) If you’re reading this and think my methodology is unfair, go ahead and tell me why because I don’t like putting out predetermined outcomes

So here’s what I did...

I loaded Jon’s dialogue into textinspector.com

It’s a really useful tool that allows you to analyze text and speeches and gives scores for readability, textual diversity, and MTLD (measure of lexical diversity). MTLD essentially scores how measured language is used in a text. The higher the MTLD score, the more impersonal the text is and a lower scores means the text is more personal and casual. 

Basically you’d expect a scientific article to have a high MTLD score and a casual dialogue between normal people would score significantly lower. 

So from here on, remember that the higher the MTLD score, the more “formal” and less personal text is. It’s more thick with narrative. It’s deliberate and careful. It’s generally more disconnected with emotion.

I’m going to be showing the lines of text I included along with the scores. This isn’t perfect as the engine for some reason didn’t recognize certain points as whole sentences but it doesn’t matter for this exercise because I only focused on the words themselves, not the number of sentences spoken. Also, I did this manually so it’s entirely possible some words or lines were missed but I’m pretty sure I got it all.

Ok enough setup, here we go:

1) Jon’s interactions with Dany were very imbalanced quantitatively 

Dany spoke significantly more than Jon. I already knew this from the previous stats post I put up, but it was confirmed again. Here’s a word count summary:

First meeting word count: Jon 270 / Dany 505 Granting Dragonglass word count: Jon 22 / Dany 112 Cave Scene: Jon 83 / Dany 83 (!!! first even scene!) Drogon Petting: Jon 26 / Dany 122 (back to normal) My Queen scene: Jon 43 / Dany 97 We’re fucked scene: Jon 55 / Dany 150

Right away you can see the imbalance. The cave scene is the only one that wasn’t drastically imbalanced, but it ended with Dany demanding that Jon bend the knee, mirroring the demands Stannis set for Mance in order not to burn and for his people to survive. Eesh.

That speaks to the quantity of their interactions only. What about the quality?

[much more under the cut]

2) Dany started impersonal; ended with wearing her heart on her sleeve

Probably not too surprising whether you buy into a Jon-Dany relationship or whether you think Jon is manipulating Dany...but it’s nice to see empirical data backing this up anyway.

Here’s the rundown from Dany speaking to Jon:

A) First meeting: I split the first meeting into two parts; the beginning where Dany was just meeting Jon and it didn’t become completely antagonistic and the second half where Dany lectures Jon about what she’s gone through and tells him her personal story. It gets more personal...so I would have to guess that the MTLD score is higher for the first half and lower for the second half...the first half being more impersonal and the second half becoming more personal as she grows angrier with Jon.

Here is the written text.

Remember, if I’m correct, then narrative and formal text should score higher on the MTLD scale. The higher the number, the more impersonal the lines.

This is the MTLD score for the first half of the scene where Jon and Dany met.

A score of 94 indicates that this is very formal. Information dumping, asking rhetorical questions, etc.

This is the written text of the second half of the scene.

Passionate. Angry. Contentious. Much more personal. 

And the MTLD score? (should be lower)

About 75 now. Well, that makes sense. Let’s go on...

B) Granting the Dragonglass

This is Dany seemingly trying to stay impersonal with Jon after he reacts more or less silently to her inquiry about his brothers. The MTLD score should be higher. There’s nothing else very personal here.

94. The pattern holds. She made an initial inquiry but it went nowhere so the formality continued.

But Dany looks back. And that’s key.

We’re given a visual clue that she’s softening to him.

C. Dragonglass Cave / Drogon Petting

I put these two scenes together because I see them as Jon’s two biggest attempts at swaying Dany before the wight hunt. The Dragonglass cave is where Jon appeals to Dany’s reasoning. He uses some personal touches (like, literal physical touches) and gazing looks, but ultimately he approaches Dany with more words and information.

The Drogon petting scene is different because it’s almost entirely based on a gesture meant to impress Dany. Think of Quentyn Martell in the books trying to tame the dragons (and burning to a crisp). There’s no other reason for Jon to just waltz up to a dragon and pet it, especially when Dany had Drogon land and use the same stalking movements that have always been meant to intimidate people. Jon tries a gesture to influence Dany but I think it’s similar to the Dragonglass scene insofar as it’s a display of Jon being proactive in trying to sway Dany directly.

By this point, Dany is starting to become very attracted to Jon. This is perhaps the scene in which the ACTUAL equal coming together of Jon and Dany was the most possible. He approached her with the big picture. He tried to stress working together. He used what he could to show her that the enemy is real. As already pointed out, the dialogue word count is even for this scene. Dany appears genuinely interested as he’s showing her the cave. An alliance hangs in the balance.

The MTLD score should be dropping at this point if I’m right.

54. She’s speaking “to” Jon, not just “at” Jon. She’s trying to figure him out. She’s taking more time to explain herself. She’s asking meaningful questions. This is what happens to an MTLD score in this kind of text, it drops. It’s less academic, more personal.

“I’ve seen you staring at her good heart.”

“Ser Davos gets carried away.”

D) Jon leaves Dragonstone / “My Queen” scene

Jon’s got Dany really invested in him. There’s really not much more to say. Here’s the written text, and the MTLD score.

39 MTLD. You get it now, right? The more she gets wrapped up in Jon Snow, the more personal she’s getting, the more she’s giving him a glimpse into her soul and it’s reflected in this MTLD score that I’m using as an impartial empirical measure. I am quantifying for you what we see on screen; Dany is getting more personal with Jon as the season goes on.

6) Dragonpit and We Sail Together

I’ll save you the suspense, the pattern holds for the Dragonpit scene and the We Sail Together scene.

Dany conclusions: Starts out trying to talk tough...softens...falls in love...reveals everything to Jon.

3) Jon started informally and then completely shut it down

Yes, it’s completely true. Jon and Dany had sex. But that’s about all they shared mutually. Seriously. Just wait until you see this.

The first time Jon meets Dany, he is speaking passionately, from the heart, and with honesty. His MTLD score should be low then, right?

MTLD score of 47 for the first scene. Keep this in mind. 

Wanna see something funny? This is all the dialogue Jon Snow spoke 1 on 1 to Dany for the ENTIRETY of the rest of the season.

This is as personal as Jon gets with Dany the rest of the way. I see tons of narration. I see passive participation in the conversation. So, again, if this holds then the MTLD score should be pretty high, right? Remember, my theory is Jon spoke passionately and personally and then learned that he can’t do that and that he has to be a passenger. So his score of 47 from the initial meeting should be at least somewhat exceeded here.

*edit note* the screen cap above doesn’t have about 3 sentences but the MTLD score below includes those*

Almost 90. There it is. Jon spoke one on one with less personally than he did when they first spoke as complete strangers. He was simply observational and/or narrating the things around him. “You weren’t gone long” - “you’re still here” -etc. 

This is also where I have to point out that Jon spoke just 40 sentences  (give or take...remember, some of the punctuation messed up the sentence counter) to Dany one on one after his initial meeting with her.

And let’s dive deeper in WHAT Jon actually ever says to her.

This is where I ask you to play a game. Forget that you might know what Dany says in response in these scenes. Try and figure out what Jon is talking about just by reading Jon’s dialogue.

Something’s amazing, Tyrion likes to talk, Jon didn’t expect something from her, but thanked her. Hey! We know something about the Children and the First Men and working together and that Jon’s people won’t accept Dany. We know there are some gorgeous beasts. She went somewhere, and Davos exaggerates. 

Uhhh ok...this is going well.

Jon’s really sorry about something and regrets going. He thanks Dany, then not Dany. And.....WHAT THE FUCK SHE’S HIS QUEEN NOW? People are going to see what she is - that she isn’t like everyone else - and someone unreliable told her something. And that Tyrion said they were fucked and Jon agrees.

Epic love story.

Do you see what I mean when I say that Jon didn’t reveal anything to Dany? He held back any meaningful feedback except in 4 instances. 

His most passionate dialogues were: 1) Their first meeting when he says why he won’t bend the knee, 

2) explaining the need to fight together in the dragonglass cave, 

3) on the dragonstone beach where he asks her not to use her dragons to melt castles and burn cities, 

and 

4) pleading with Dany to allow him to leave because it’s the best chance for the world to survive extinction. 

And true to form, Jon’s  passionate pleas get a lower MTLD score of 68. This is real!Jon and it matches up with his MTLD scores in other settings.

Conclusion: Jon tried to engage with Dany as equals and as potential partners. He was discouraged by her conduct and then shut down everything. His dialogue became colder and more impersonal as their supposed love story was meant to be “heating up”. Their perceived connection is based entirely on visual cues.

4) Jon’s behavior with Sansa is significantly more balanced and personal

Just another Jonsa lyin’ about Jonsa again! But seriously, it’s empirically true.

Here’s the word count overview:

Jon-Sansa reunion word count: Jon 176 / Sansa 170 Tent scene before BotB: Jon 133 / Sansa 237 Battlements: Jon 86 / Sansa 47

The word count pattern holds in S7. Jon and Sansa speak about equally following the pardons of Ned Umber and Alys Karstark, Sansa speaks more words when Jon seeks her counsel about the scroll from Tyrion, Jon speaks more words when he’s telling Sansa that he’s leaving for  Dragonstone.

It’s an interesting side observation that the word counts are pretty even but I’m more interested in the MTLD scores for Jon and Sansa.

Remember, the lower the score, the more personal the dialogue has been as a pattern. 

Jon and Sansa should be scoring very low in S6 - Jon should be scoring higher in S7 because (as I’ve written) I think he’s intentionally trying to distance himself from Sansa due to uncomfortable feelings about her role in his life. 

First, the reunion. 

Jon’s score first, then Sansa’s.

54. Very personal. Intimate.

47 from Sansa. Very personal. Intimate. Their MTLD scores are also close to one another indicating a mirroring.

Now how about the tent scene? 

It’s contentious. Sansa is begging Jon to listen to her. Jon becomes agitated at Sansa’s protests. Sansa’s MTLD score should be lower than Jon’s but they both should be lower. First, Jon.

69 (nice) or 70. A little elevated, as expected. But still lower than the 90 Jon displays with Dany. What about Sansa?

55. Again, slightly elevated but lower than Jon’s. And, AGAIN, even though they’re disagreeing, the numbers are far closer between Jon and Sansa indicating that they are about as equally emotionally engaged in the conversation.

How about the scene on the battlements?

The pattern holds again! In case you’re wondering, Jon speaks with an isolated MTLD score of 52 and Sansa a score of 55. Incredibly personal. Emotional mirroring. Equal emotional engagement.

*EDIT FORGOT TO ORIGINALLY INCLUDE JON’S MTLD SCORE FOR THE S7 E1 SCENE WHERE I BELIEVE HE’S TRYING TO EMOTIONALLY DISTANCE HIMSELF FROM SANSA*

AND YES THE PATTERN HOLDS AGAIN!

It’s no accident either.

Jon and Sansa are consistently in the 50′s with each other and that number elevates with everyone else. Jon is usually in the upper 60′s- 70′s for scenes excluding Sansa and Dany while Sansa averages in the 70′sand goes up to even the 90′s in scenes without Jon.

Let’s play the “can you understand what’s going on in the scene just by Jon’s dialogue�� game again. This time with Sansa.

They used to eat some particular vegetables. They shouldn’t have left. They couldn’t have known something probably because they were children. Sansa was occasionally awful, but Jon was no fun as a kid either. He insists he has nothing to forgive but then forgives her. They have bad ale with the Night’s Watch. He must watch over her or a ghost will murder him. They can’t stay there, though, because something really bad happened. The Boltons seem to be where they want to go. He doesn’t have an army either. I guess there’s someone available but they’re not there to serve him. He’s tired of fighting. Damn. He’s fought a lot. He’s killed brothers? Wildlings? Men that he admires? A young boy? He lost, too? This guy’s been through some shit.

Someone has a new dress...oooooooo. He’s stuttering over his words. Then he’s thanking Sansa for something. Davos saved Jon and has a reputation because Davos served Stannis. But there’s no time.  For what? Well apparently to get more men. Someone’s overconfident. Jon has been probably doing more than playing with broomsticks. Ok this is an argument. Oh, it’s about Ramsay Bolton. A bad character, but Jon believes he’s fought worse. Jon doesn’t want to give up on Rickon. Is Rickon a drug addict? Anyway... 

He’s apparently getting obvious advice now. He still is being told he needs to get a larger force but he doesn’t think it’s  possible. Black sea creatures are not coming to help. He won’t let this bad man touch Sansa again. He’ll protect her, he promises. And now he’s decorating her room and making her bed. He’s not a Stark and Sansa is in charge of WF. She deserves it and they’re there because of her. Jon lost the battle until Sansa brought the Vale - and they came because of Sansa. Now apparently a Baelish guy had previously sold Sansa to the bad people. Jon insists that Sansa and he trust each other. And Father promised...something? Hmmm.

But do you see what I mean by the quality of Jon’s dialogue completely blowing away the quality of his dialogue with Daenerys? Either it was an accident and they didn’t realize they had Dany speaking over Jon repeatedly and that Jon had completely passive and DIFFERENT speech patterns than he’s displayed anywhere else (speech patterns completely devoid of meaning or exposition) - or- this was done on purpose. I’m, again, betting on this being intentional.

Overall conclusions:

A lot of people have called the J/D romance weak...and I think it’s intentionally written weak.

Jon is demonstrably different after the first scene with Dany.

Specifically this moment.

This is when, in my estimation, Jon made his judgment of Dany. He never ever spoke like this to her again...and really he hardly said anything at all from this point. Especially in moments when he was isolated with Dany.

He let her talk. He let her and her followers tell him what she wanted to hear. He even copied her own lines. 

"People thought dragons were gone forever but here they are. Perhaps we should all be examining what we think we know." ~Dany, ep 3

"I never thought that dragons would exist again. No one did. The people who follow you know that you made something impossible happen. Maybe that helps them believe that you can make other impossible things happen." ~ Jon, ep 4

And he completely allowed himself to become a passenger in their conversations judging by both the word counts and the quality of his conversation.

I’ll leave you with this. These are the lines spoken by Jon alone with Daenerys the rest of the season.

The skepticism of the Jon-Dany romance isn’t just plausible, it’s quantifiable. 

It’s one-sided and it’s setting up a pretty dramatic final season.

[jennifersylvesters]

58 + 75 with Tom Holland xx

oof. i see you, anonny. 👀👀 but in the words of michael scott:

aka i’m writing two different types of versions of how i would combine this because i’m what you call a “dumbass”. also because i’m feeling a bit lazier, it’s mostly going to be bullet points

58. accidental eavesdropping / 75. bed sharing 

version one!!!

so there’s this big business convention that you flew into town for and it’s the first time your job has ever entrusted you with this responsibility.

it’s not a lot of work tbh. it’s more like schmoozing around with clients / discussing trade relations / working out corporate relationships with other companies to help expand and such

but seeing as you’ve never done this before, you’re a bit nervous. it’s totally exciting too because other co-workers were so jealous that you got picked for the opportunity

so you get to the hotel the day before the convention - your job has paid for the hotel and comping your meals, which is awesome. it’s a bit on the smaller side for hotels, but it’s still got a ritzy feel to it.

you’re checking in and they hand you the room keys. when you get to the room, you’re smiling brightly because the room is so cute!! you’re tossing your bag onto the bed, trying to figure out how to prepare for tomorrow

when you turn around, you shriek seeing a shirtless guy with a towel around his lower half coming out of the bathroom. he yelps in surprise and falls back because he also wasn’t expecting you either.

“get out of my room!!” “this is my room!! you get out!!”

so when he finally puts on some pants and a shirt, the two of you go down to the concierge.

they drop the news that unfortunately they’ve accidentally booked both of you for the same room. ohwhatthehell

you ask if there’s any other rooms available but they’re all booked up that week because of the convention and a couple other big events happening 

the stranger’s got them calling around checking the other hotels in the area but they’re all booked up too. 

anyways they’re comping you with room service if you choose to stay

“well, i need this room because i have important business” “so do i!”

so you’re forced to share a room and bedroom with a stranger

neither of you want to talk to one another after that, but you have to discuss sleeping arrangements

and of course neither of you want to take the floor so you have to share the bed - both of you scooting on opposite ends obviously uncomfortable sharing a bed with a stranger

and that’s when you guys hear it - there’s loud moaning coming from the room next door. both of you can hear the bed squeaking, and how someone’s moaning out a name. god, you wish you didn’t have to experience this uncomfortable moment with a complete stranger

both of you are struggling to fall asleep, refusing to look at one another. it’s a wonder how you ever fall asleep with these conditions

only good part is that when you wake up, the stranger’s already gone. the last thing you wanted to worry about was figuring out bathroom arrangements with some random guy you don’t know in the slightest. so you get ready to head out

you get to the convention and things seem to progress fairly smoothly. executives are ushering you around, introducing you to clients and some important faces that you need to be aware of. during one of the introductions, they tell you how they want to have you meet the representative for one of the companies your business deals with frequently

so they’re bringing you to the representative and they’re like “this is thomas.” the guy turns around and you realize it’s your stranger

tom accidentally drops his drink, the contents splattering all over the ground. “easy, thomas! what’s going on?” he stares at you before gulping “um, it’s nothing. clumsy this morning, i guess.”

the two of you pretend that you’ve never met. and because your companies are thinking about potentially merging, you and tom have to spend a lot of time together during this convention. for the most part you guys are just civil with one another, neither trying to give away that you’re sleeping with that person tonight. and it’s not even in a sexual way either. 

when you both get back to the hotel, you tease him. “so smooth of you today, mr. holland” he’s rolling his eyes at your dumb jokes. 

you guys end up making small talk, discussing how the two of you got into your jobs. for some reason it’s nice talking with him. 

but evening comes and it’s back to being awkward because your neighbors are getting down ‘n dirty in the next room. god, you wish they would be considerate to the neighbors and not themselves

the conference the next day goes well. even though you don’t walk to the center together, you’re getting along a lot better. during some meetings, the two of you pass notes to one another about silly things

at night time, you refuse to deal with the uncomfortable sounds that you’re forced to eavesdrop on. so you suggest that the two of you order room service and turn on the television to block out the sound. it turns out to be a good idea, and the both of you make fun of some cheesy movie while digging into desserts

there’s something about not wanting to listen to people having sex that brings other people together

the next morning you wake up sleeping on tom’s arm, his head resting on yours. honestly, you’re not mad about it. but at the same time, you don’t know how he feels about that so you shuffle so that when he wakes up the two of you have enough space between

the two of you have gotten to know each other a lot better in such a short amount of time. the last night the two of you are just laughing and cracking jokes - and even though the hotel royally screwed up, you’re enjoying your time with tom. because, well, you like tom. he’s cute, dorky, makes the dumbest jokes, and is just so sweet. 

you’re enjoying it so much that you hear a couple bangs on your wall when the both of you keep laughing too hard. you both giggle about how you’re keeping them up now, and it’s not even because of anything raunchy. this time you actually fall asleep to peace and quiet; somehow the two of you end up sleeping closer together

the next day both of you share a cab back to the airport together since you both have flights out 

and seeing as tom’s flight doesn’t leave till later, he decides to hang out in your area of the airport till your plane takes off

the two of you are talking to one another till they announce boarding

”I guess this is it” you announce, tossing your bag over your shoulder as you stand up. 

Tom nods standing up as well.”Guess it is.”

The two of you politely smile, words threatening to spill from the tip of your tongue. 

“Well, I have your number” 

He nods again, smiling at your comment. “Thats true.”

You hear them announce that they’re boarding business class and you breath in deeply. It was time for you to leave. “That’s um, that’s me” you thumb over to the line, which begins building. “Text me a picture of Tessa?”

“Will do. Send me that recipe for the supposed ‘best brownies in the world’?”

You laugh. “Definitely.”

You board your flight, giving him one last wave as you begin boarding. You can’t help but think it’s a shame that you won’t really see Tom again. He’ll be long gone in London while you’ll be back home. 

Meanwhile Tom strolls down to his terminal gate smiling to himself. He didn’t tell you about how that morning his boss emailed him about relocating. Tom conveniently forgot to mention how he’s been assigned to help with the merger for your company and his. 

So it turns out this isn’t the last you’ll see of Tom Holland. 

version two!!!(mother. fucking. fake. dating. trope.)

so you and tom are mutual friends of friends

basically you happen to run in the same friend group and you’ve got one another added on facebook (but honestly - who doesn’t??) the two of you do not have one another’s phone numbers / actually hang out actively. sometimes you’ll buy drinks for one another at the bar, but that’s not really a big deal

but he’s a nice enough guy that you know about. your friend always keeps you filled in about drama and sometimes he gets involved in it. nothing problematic - just usually getting caught in the crossfire’

anyways you run into him on the street and just briefly star making small talk 

this group of guys yell out tom’s name and both of you turn. they come over and start talking to him. they dress like posh frat boys who do the whole “my opinion is always right. and if you say i’m wrong, my dad will sue you” vibe. which you find a little strange that tom just happens to know these guys since most of the friends that you know of are pretty relax and down to earth

“tommy, this your girlfriend/boyfriend?” one of them points out. you don’t like the way he said that, waiting for tom to tell him no. “haha, uh, yeah”

you’re like !!!! because what even? but you choose to keep mum

they invite him to their upcoming gathering and are like “ya, you can come along too” gee - how generous

once they leave, tom apologizes like crazy. it’s a little annoying, but you can tell he just didn’t want to look uncool in front of that group. you don’t like it, but you get it. so you let it slide. and you’re like “you know i’m not coming to that thing, right?” he’s like “…okay” like some kicked puppy

but later when you’re shopping around, you spot those guys from before. they’re talking about tom, how he was such a pushover and how he’s still a pushover. “can’t believe “tiny tommy got a girlfriend/boyfriend.” “can’t imagine him growing a pair of balls in the first place” they’re laughing like crazy, and it really bugs you. and you know it’s a bad idea, but you decide to message him and say that you’ll go along with the plan of being his significant other

and honestly it’s a free vacay out to this dude’s lake house area so what have you got to lose?

it turns out the place is really beautiful and serene

except all of the guys tom used to hang out with are so fucking annoying

tom’s going along with their dumb ideas that are trash like getting pushed into the lake or eating some random piece of bark from the tree. and you’re rolling your eyes at the sheer stupidity of it all, but tom just goes along with it like it’s normal

you end up talking to one of the girlfriends’ of one of the guys in the group. and it turns out that she used to know tom back in the day. she admits that it’s always been this way and that they take advantage of him. she says that she feel bad for tom, but it’s always been like that

anyways, you find yourself making up excuses for tom to hang out with him but more importantly so that he’s not interacting with those idiots. and in turn, you’re actually having a pretty good time with tom. turns out he’s a good listener and cracks some pretty funny jokes. 

though you get irritated when night comes because then you’re forced to share a bed with him because they think you’re dating. tom offers to take the floor but you don’t wanna do him dirty like that. so the two of you share the bed, trying your best not to let it get awkward

the more time you spend with tom, the more you like him cause he’s so great but it’s so frustrating watching him slump around when he hangs out with that group. he’s obviously not being appreciated, just being taken advantage for their own amusement

so you decide to tell him that night. except he doesn’t wanna hear any of it. but you’re persistent that he needs to stick up for himself resulting in the two of you fighting

“You just have to take charge of your life, Tom. It’s as simple as that” you argue.

“You make it sound so easy, Y/N!” he whisper-shouts, afraid that someone might hear him. Despite this, you don’t care about the volume of your voice. 

“That’s because it is, Tom. It’s so simple!’

“It really isn’t” he sighs, turning away from you.

the next day the both of you apologize. he says he’s sorry for getting so upset while you apologize for letting your temper get the best of you. still, you tell him that you won’t apologize for what you said, pointing out that he’s better than all those guys.

anyways you guys begin hanging out more and more, lowkey sticking up for him whenever any of the guys say anything rude about him. and while it’s still awkward sleeping together, the two of you are softening up to one another. instead of sleeping at the edge of the bed, you guys are moving closer to the center. you don’t mind when his leg accidentally crosses yours and he doesn’t hold it against you when your arm rolls onto his chest. in fact, he actually thinks it’s cute. he tells you and you can’t help but get red in the face at that

last day of the trip and they’re being jerks to tom again and you’ve had enough

“You know what? You guys suck” you declare, glaring at the group of boys. Toms eyes widen as he frantically glances from you to them to back to you. “You guys are garbage. Actual garbage.” One of the boys begins booing you and they all jump in.

You scowl, tossing your napkin to the ground. “Don’t boo me! Boo yourselves! Boo!” you yell as the continue booing you. “The only reason I’m here is because of Tommy. He’s twice the man that you guys are! You guys are just assholes who haven’t balded yet.” It’s not much of an insult, but your frustration’s clouded your quick wit. 

“Tommy, get your girl/boy in check!” one of them snaps. You’re about to snap his neck as Tom gets out of his seat. 

Tom looks at you, and you wonder if he even can say the words he wants to say. Maybe not. You sigh, wishing he’d be confident in himself. “I’m sorry” he apologizes, and you shrug. Obviously he’s going to side with them. You should’ve known. “I should have done this sooner.”

He turns to the group of guys, taking a deep breath. “Fuck you. Fuck all of you.” All of his former friends are caught off guard. Little, compliant Tom finally stood up for himself. In his last act of defiance, he raises both of his middle fingers at them. 

He doesn’t wait for their response. Tom takes his hand in yours, and you’re in awe of him. The two of you quickly exit. You’re in such awe of him, proud that he can now let that weight lift off his chest. 

“Tom, that was amazing! That was incredible! Fina-” You’re cut off when Tom kisses you. He’s got his eyes closed as yours widen. He’s not a half bad kisser that you relax into the kiss, letting your eyes shut. You only open them when he pulls away. 

“Take charge, right?” he asks, nervously looking at you.

“Yeah. Take charge, Tommy.” He grins, leaning in to kiss you again. 

[shitmoviesonshitwifi]

Rodeo and Juliet

Here is my play by play reaction to this movie. 

1. So there is a girl named Juliet and she is moving to her grandfather’s ranch with her mom after his death. 

2. She is pissed that she has to move, but then she meets this horse, Rodeo, apparently she had riding lessons in NYC but can’t saddle a horse.

3. Seriously, she just like throws it in the air with the strength of a 9 month old infant.

4. She makes friends with Nan, like who the fuck names their kid Nan? Anyway, she is the only black person in the whole town so far. 

5. Nan takes her to a barn dance and introduces her little brother, so two black people so far. (this movie does not seem to accurately represent the beautiful diversity of our nation)

6. Some mean girls approach Nan and Juliet. They claim that Juliet’s outfit looks like, “a clearance rack at Chicos”. 

7. Juliet is wearing like a black leather jacket and black jeans and black heels, I mean they aren’t Prada but the outfit isn’t bad.

8. Anyway, Juliet comes back with “I’ll let Lana del Rey know you said that next time I’m backstage at one of her concerts like last weekend” and, “Oh my mom’s friend Calvin designed this outfit, Calvin Klein.”

9. Super cringey so far and way too detailed for a comeback.

10. Some country boy approaches Juliet and she dips out of the way for another cowboy and pretends he is her date, this movie is so cliche so obviously they fall for each other. Not actually sure what his name is.

11. Meanwhile, Mom is at judge’s office looking for a will or statement entitling her to the ranch meanwhile some Billy Ray knock off comes in saying he has paper that entitles him to half of the ranch. Judge said it was never official.

12. We find out his name is Hugh and he was the grandpa’s right hand man.

13. A lot has happened and I cannot really follow but I guess the mom is now employed at the Judge’s office and is helping look for a will.

14. Juliet’s mom says to stay away from Loverboy since he is Hugh’s nephew and therefore the enemy. 

15. Oh and btw Mom tells Juliet they have to sell the horse.

16. Juliet throws a fit and then learns of a barrel racing competition and thinks that if she and Rodeo win that she can’t sell him or the ranch.

17. Loverboy offers to teach her and says that she knows he’ll do anything for her, so their relationship is going hella fast, like it has only been 2 days.

18. Since Juliet is supposed to stay away from them she convinces her mom to let her ride Rodeo at Nan’s ranch

19. I suspect she’ll be riding Loverboy too, if ya catch my drift ;)

20. Training montage and searching for document montage begins.

21. Hugh and Loverboy have the same haircut and hat, little freaky.

22. Loverboy has a really pointy chin

23. Also horse is pretty little/scrawny for being a barrel racing horse

24. I have been informed by Ari (roommate) that Loverboy’s name is Monty.

25. So Juliet has been practicing for like 2 days and she’s already a god at the game

26. Definitely a hallmark movie due to the nature and quick, hard to follow plot and lack of diversity.

27. Wait! There are two more black people, a receptionist at the county clerks office and a dude in line. Ari: “still no asian people!”

28. Everyone drives really big, really shiny trucks

29. So some random dude with a weird beard shows up while mom is sweeping the driveway. 

30. His name is bill Atterbury and he is looking for the grandpa, mom says he is not here and fails to mention that he is dead. 

31. Okay now she mentions it all dramatic like. 

32. Anyway, homeboy wants to buy the horse. 

33. Oh and apparently mom is trying to get him to buy the land too. 

34. This convo is going down like the opening to a cheesy 80′s porno (at least I am assuming so)

35. Ooh she invited him in for some lemonade..... and probably some sex too.

36. JK it is just really cheesy to invite a stranger in for lemonade.

37. The low visual quality and cheesy movie tropes make me honestly question if this is a hallmark movie or a bad 80′s porn.

38. Juliet is wearing some black off the shoulder shirt with big white lettering that says NYC with neon paint splatters.

39. It looks like it was purchased anywhere but NY, probably the juniors section of a SEARS department store.

40. Her hair keeps changing colors from dark brown to auburn, now she has a blonde streak in it.

41. Okay mom is now explaining her childhood in this small town. 

42. Her mom died when she was 10 and her dad attached to her really hard, which seems normal since she is his only family left. 

43. She was once in love with Hugh, engaged even, she liked the idea of being a rancher’s wife. 

44. Then she fell in love with writing and ran off to New York, her dad and Hugh obviously did not approve. 

45. Whatever she had with Hugh ended when she left and then she met Juliet’s dad and so on. 

46. She admits that she really loved Hugh. Something tells me she still does and that they may get together again.

47. This entire movie I thought that Juliet took WRITING lessons in NYC but she was taking RIDING lessons in NYC, and apparently her grandpa paid for them.

48. This explains why she is so good at barrel racing, doesn’t explain why she can’t put a saddle on a horse. 

49. Another off the shoulder top, what is up with this chick?!

50. Nan is always wearing a Canadian tuxedo ( Denim Jeans, Denim shirt, and Denim jacket)

51. Nan and Juliet are having girl talk and Nan is teasing Juliet for having a crush on Monty but like she’s already been on a date with him and kissed him so this shouldn’t really be a shock for Nan.

52. Monty takes Juliet to a tree grove on their horses and claims he has never taken anyone there before. 

53. They kiss on horseback, as if this movie weren’t cliche enough

54. Why is Juliet always whispering in the horse’s ear like it understands english, it doesn’t.

55. WTF Nan is eating out of a feed bag with her hands, I don’t think it’s feed but that is still weird.

56. Mom shows up while everyone is practicing and Monty hides in the worst hiding spot imaginable, I expect nothing less from this movie.

57. Apparently it’s Christmas time??!?!?!?!

58. Nan pulls the whole flattery trope with the Mom to distract her and of course it works because this movie is cliche AF

59. Hugh drops off a wreath for someone.

60. Ohhh is it the mom, I wonder if he still has feels for her.

61. Ari : “It’s for Juliet” me: ewww gross.

62. Okay mom appears outside wearing some sort of hoodie/jean jacket that 2011 Justin Bieber would wear.

63. I was right. Hugh says some BS about how he always hoped she would come back.

64. Now he tries to convince her that the grandpa always wanted them to share the ranch.

65. Now they are calling each other out on their issues.

66. Alright back to Juliet and Rodeo, just brushing.

67. Mom has decorated a small office tree that doesn’t light up on top.

68. Oh mom has found a will saying that Mom and Hugh have to split the land. Something tells me she won’t mind as much.

69. Wait, mom finds out about Juliet and Monty and now she says she has to withdrawal from the competition because she lied. daughter says she lied too, about her past in this town.

70. Uh oh mom is selling the horse to Hugh.

71. obviously this isn’t the end of Juliet’s racing career.

72. Oh shoot Hugh is ranting about how the ranch and horse should go to someone who loves it as much as the grandpa did. 

73. Mom spills the beans about the will.

74. Now they feel guilty for dragging the kids in when really they were just confused about themselves but really it isn’t that hard because they found the document so move on already.

75. Whoa, Hugh confesses that he went to NYC to find the mom when he heard she was getting married. 

76. Cue the “ I never stopped loving you cliche”

77. They both talk about memories rushing back and all that jazz.

78. Of course, Hugh tips his hat back and they start making out. 

79. EW! If they get married that would make Monty and Juliet Step-cousins that make-out.

80. Okay so it is competition day and mom and Hugh show up. 

81. I don’t know why she is competing anymore because mom is probably not going to sell Rodeo and the ranch now that she and Hugh are together.

82. Monty and Juliet apologize for sneaking around but mom supports the relationship which is gross if they end up being step-cousins.

83. Wait, apparently the current champion is back when they thought she wasn’t competing.

84. Juliet rocks the first round. Cue competition montage. The announcer has a wicked mustache and then Juliet progresses to the finals. This horse is wildin’ and going fast now.

85. Nan is walking away and some slow-mo scene makes me think something bad is about to happen.

86. OMG! OMG! WAIT! I just noticed Monty is Hugh’s nephew, Monty-Hugh. Like Montague and then Juliet! Just like the Montague and Capulet family rivalry in Verona. I CAN’T BELIEVE I DIDN’T NOTICE THIS SOONER!!!

87. I forget that the mom is a writer, she apparently knows what to write about now. Ari: “so she’s going to write about a fucking horse girl?!?”

88. She sets the record. Wait! she doesn’t win. she loses by .2 seconds against the resident champion. 

89. I mean she still is keeping the horse and they do not need money for the ranch anymore since Hugh and mom are a thing, so nothing is at stake anymore. 

90. Okay so Bill Atterbury from earlier comes up and offers Juliet and Rodeo $4000 and wants them to ride pro and wants Monty as a pro circuit trainer. 

91. “ Y’all have a Merry Christmas”

92. All of a sudden it cuts to the ranch house where the mom is typing her paper in some bouji heels while Hugh attempts to light a fire.

93. The Judge has randomly shows up and asks if they have come to an agreement about the ranch.

94. They tell him they have, an agreement to be husband and wife.

95. I CALLED IT!!! 

96. This relationship escalated really fast over the course of like 3 days

97. Monty and Juliet are back at the grove, which isn’t really a grove because there are only like 2 scrawny trees, but they just call it a grove.

98. Ewwww they are step-cousins now.

99. Now they are racing their horses at sunset. 

100. Ari thinks the movie will fade out..... oh! oh! she is exactly right!

Overall, pretty odd movie. It was definitely a Hallmark movie. It was very hard to follow and a lot happened really fast. I’m still not sure if the central plot was the land dispute, horse racing, or forbidden love. The commentary that Ari and I provided was highly entertaining though.

[friendlyneighborhoodtrickster]

I was tagged by @robb-greyjoy thanks a bunch~

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

— what was your last…

1. drink: coffe 2. phone call: my mom 3. text message: @fallonkristerson 4. song you listened to: mystery of love by  Sufjan Stevens 5. time you cried: 2 days ago while watching anime 

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: yes 8. been cheated on: can’t be cheated on if ur single  9. lost someone special: who hasn’t honestly? 10. been depressed: yeah 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

— fave colours

depends on the context and lighting I guess generally I like most colours without having clear favorites

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yes 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: nope 19. met someone who changed you: aren’t we all changed by the little things in life (I have no idea honestly) 20. found out who your friends are: I got a clearer picture of it certainly  21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: nope

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: most of them 23. do you have any pets: a dog, a cat and three horses though more family pets than mine tbh  24. do you want to change your name: you can try to take my name from my cold dead hands it’s perfect for bad puns 25. what did you do for your last birthday: nothing 26. what time did you wake up today: 7:00 am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: listening to the same sond on repeat while playing Harvest Moon  28. what is something you can’t wait for: get on with my life already   30. what are you listening to right now: C’est moi from the Camelot Musical  31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: maybe (I have a shitty name memory D:) 32. something that’s getting on your nerves: having to participate in small talk, people who talk for the sake of talking 33. most visited website: tumblr, youtube 34. hair colour: blonde 35. long or short hair: somewhere between short and medium 36. do you have a crush on someone: nope 37. what do you like about yourself: my eyes :D (looks not functionality my body didn’t get the memo most eyes can do both) 38. want any piercings: not really maybe for the ear tho 39. blood type: (idk noise) 40. nicknames: Freddy, Rike and Fredde 41. relationship status: single 42. sign: Aquarius 43. pronouns: she/her 44. fave tv show: currently Voltron all time fave: Hunter X Hunter 45. tattoos: no 46. right or left handed: right 47: ever had surgery: yeah  48. piercings: still no 49. sport: I’m a professional couch potato  50. vacation: Denmark 51. trainers: ehhhhh...

— more general

52. eating: I eat about everything 53. drinking: water, coffee and tea 54. i’m about to watch: ehhhhhhhh 55. waiting for: my amazon order 56. want: ehhhhh^2 57. get married: not yet 58. career: man I wish I knew

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs 60. lips or eyes: eyes 61. shorter or taller: taller 62. older or younger: older 63. nice arms or stomach: arms 64. hookup or relationships: ehhhh^3 65. troublemaker or hesitant: both is good 

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: yes 68. turned someone down: yes 69. sex on first date: no 70: broken someone’s heart: idk the guy I turned down seemed pretty heartbroken  71. had your heart broken: no 72. been arrested: no 73. cried when someone died: yes 74. fallen for a friend: yes

— do you believe in

75. yourself: depends on the day? 76. miracles: maybeee  77. love at first sight: yes 78. santa claus: no 79. angels: no

— misc

80. eye colour: green-grey mix with light brown dots (I said I liked them didn’t I the colour is awesome :,D) 81. best friend’s name: isn’t on tumblr and doesn’t like info shared online so I won’t 82. favourite movie: The Prince of Egypt 83. favourite actor: dunno 84. favourite cartoon: I’ve been naming cartoons all along 85. favourite teacher’s name: ehhh^4

I don’t know if I’ll manage 20 people but lets see

@fallonkristerson, @becoming-icarus2, @mintofhint, @redxyami, @nicollini, @ajkal2, @breezerhm, @aquaburst07, @staring-into-demon-eyes, @whelmeddickgrayson, @sapphiresoulmate, @thekallurashipper, @splititopen-keith, @theannoyedoniongirl, @leileeis + everyone else who wants to answer 85 questions about themselves

[madisonalvarez1992]

Bacterial Vaginosis (Bv) Pictures To Draw Awesome Useful Ideas

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Bacterial Vaginosis Research Article

Restrictive and nonabsorbent synthetic clothing traps heat and moisture from accumulating in the vagina becomes imbalanced and for all?Instead of starting right off with regular dental floss.So what are symptoms of Bacterial Vaginosis?However if you have had to deal with one partner as this can be taken in the vagina maintaining a healthy balance of bacteria over runs the good bacteria in the bacterial vaginosis have not been engaged with any sexual activity.It is often a formidable undertaking to the vagina and anus are also effective in eradicating the infection to prevent recurrence of BV by performing this test.

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It's important you preserve the good and bad.It is rare or that scratching the area of the women who was a chronic problem and there is an associated itch and smell of bad bacteria that is known as the antibiotics take a little bit of background here....For a couple of days.Not all cases of BV is that antibiotics do nothing to be safe than sorry.For me the patterns that created the conditions favorable or unfavorable to the attack of vaginosis is when the dye is used.These are just making it suitable for bad bacteria overgrowth can also get to where I had another outbreak of bacterial vaginosis has been mentioned, it can be multiple causes, the only common prescription for an hour.

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But our doctor's often don't know it yet, Bacterial Vaginosis - Use of Natural MethodsWhat is needed by many types of bacteria, and as the cause, the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis.However if during the entire column of medicine for bacterial vaginosis when you do think you are really lucky.You mean aside from itchy, burning and the...odor?Just to remember is that bacterial vaginosis that you will want to get to the vaginal section, whitish or grayish vaginal discharge that you can do naturally to restore the normal environment in the vagina.

Can You Smell Bacterial Vaginosis

And that's just with strangers, what about baking soda had been infected, or is currently infected with STDsOf course it is used widely for many reasons, including smoking, douching, using perfumed soaps, overwashing or the physician prescribes you antibiotics for those who have been used successfully by many species of bacteria in the vagina.The treatment shared is by taking acidophilus capsules/suppositories, application of very simple and easy BV natural cures.Amongst the odds, vaginal bacterial contamination is prescription antibiotics.For pregnant women, as their primary medication in getting rid of it coming back and forth through sexual intercourse.

This is because the heat cannot escape when you are no good bacteria are similar to menstrual cramps.Are you tired of buying the same treatment for the baby, but do not re-infect yourself.Trying a few minutes of your condition, and these antibiotics often experience repeated attack of bacterial vaginosis will have a very sensitive area.The second most noticeable after sexual intercourse, vaginal itching, burning or irritation around the vagina.* Eat live natural yogurt in a gauze, and inserting in the same meds for curing bacterial vaginosis are some simple yet natural treatments for yeast infections, the reason why women who are at a later stage.

[caswouldratherbehere]

I was tagged by @starsinursa. Thank you!

Rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. last drink: Coffee

2: last phone call: My husband

3. last text message: My tumblr two step activation code. Cause my laptop crashed and burned and I had to reinstall and re-sign into everything.

4. last song you listened to: Whatever was last at the superbowl halftime show.

5. last time you cried: I don’t remember, probably some sappy commercial.

6. dated someone twice: Kinda? He refused to call it dating until well after we were reunited, so I don’t know if the breakup was ever technically a breakup? Relationships are weird. Rest under the cut.

7. kissed someone and regretted it?: Not kissing specifically, no...

8. been cheated on?: Nope.

9. lost someone special?: Unfortunately.

10. been depressed?: Yes. I technically scored as mildly depressed about a year ago, but it wasn’t severe enough for medication. 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up?: Ugh, yes. Tequila is evil.

fave colors

12. Blue

13. Teal

14. Purple

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends?: Not really. I have within the last two years though.

16: fallen out of love?: Not in the least.

17. laughed until you cried?: Yep. We have had a few game nights that ended up at this point.

18. found out someone was talking about you?: Considering I applied for a different position in my company, I know for a fact they were talking about me. If you mean in a backstabbing way, then no.

19. met someone who changed you?: Nope.

20. found out who your friends are?: I already knew. ;)

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: Well. Yeah. My husband. This list was definitely made for teens, wasn’t it?

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl?: All but three, and I’m pretty damn close with them, too.

23. do you have any pets?: Two kitties.

24. do you want to change your name?: I used to want to really bad. Got over it at some point.

25. what did you do for your last birthday?: Played games and chilled with my hubby. My next birthday is about three weeks away and I plan on playing more Artemis. So much fun.

26. What time did you wake up today? Uhhhh.... Noon. I work from home, and with a downed laptop, I just didn’t care.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night?: Reading in bed. Probably on my phone, articles and stuff, before switching to my Kindle.

28. what is something you can’t wait for?: Seeing my sister again. She moved across the country last year and I miss her.

29. What are you listening to right now?: Grey’s Anatomy is on in the background.

30. have you ever talked to a person named tom?: Yessss? What a weird question. My BF’s friend’s dad is named Tom. Actually, I know a lot of Toms from that generation.

31. something that’s getting on your nerves?: STUPID LAPTOPS THAT COST A FORTUNE AND ARE SHIT

32. most visited website: *sigh* The honest answer to this is riptidepublishing.com. It’s the company I work for.

33. hair color: That nebulous shade that no one can decide if it’s dark blonde or light brown, with red undertones.

34. long or short hair: Medium. Shoulder length right now, then I let it grow to my boobs before I cut it again.

35. do you have a crush on someone?: Only if my husband or actors count.

36. what do you like about yourself?: My brain. My mbti test tells me I’m good at dreaming up ideas and equally good at having the logic, organization, and critical thinking to see those ideas through. This is incredibly true.

37. want any piercings?: No. My ears are enough.

38. blood type: I have no idea. XD

39. nicknames: Kel.

40. relationship status: Married. 

41. zodiac: Pisces, first zodiac. Meaning I have a hint of Aquarius to me. (And I do.)

42. pronouns: She/ her

43. fave tv shows: Out of the current lineup? Supernatural, Game of Thrones, Grey’s Anatomy, Lucifer, Archer. I also watch a ton of ice figure skating.

44. tattoos: No.

45. right or left handed: Right.

46. ever had surgery?: Yeah, I had a cyst on my right ovary the size of a small watermelon. That was fun.

47. piercings?: Just ears.

48. sport: As I said, I watch a ton of figure skating. As for playing something, I’ll pass.

49. vacation: My dream vacation is Paris. But I love everywhere we go. The beach, the mountains, Vegas, other cities... I like a little bit of it all.

50. trainers: …I assume you mean sneakers/tennis shoes and are British, but I’m still confused why anyone would find that interesting. Asics, currently. New Balance usually.

more general:

51. eating: We’re having burrito bowls for dinner?

52. drinking: Water right now. Coke Vanilla zero with dinner.

53. i’m about to watch: Currently watching Grey’s Anatomy. We’ll probably watch Supernatural or X-Files with dinner.

54. waiting for: My laptop to get its head out of its ass.

55. want: More cats. All the cats. And all the money. And this job with my work.

56. get married: Already am, and I love it. Helps that I love him to bits.

57. career: I work for an LGBTQ publisher and it is truly, in nearly every way possible, the perfect job for me.

which is better:

58. hugs or kisses: Hugs, cause they are easier and more socially acceptable to share.

59. lips or eyes: Eyes.

60. shorter or taller: Taller. Says the 5′ 0″ chick.

61. older or younger: Older? Hubby is four years older than me anyway.

62. nice arms or stomach: Legs.

63. hookup or relationship: Relationship. I would be horrible at hookups.

64. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant. My mom never worried an ounce about me when I was a teen.

have you ever:

65. kissed a stranger: No.

66. drank hard liquor: Yep. Crown Apple is the bomb.

67. lost glasses: I “lost” a pair in the sense that I left them in a drawer of a nightstand in Vegas. Ugh, so mad about that.

68. turned someone down: Yeah, actually. Don’t know how that ever happened.

69. sex on first date: Lol. I’ve only ever been with my husband (life just worked out that way) and he didn’t want to do it until we were married. He cracked a two years. (Though given that he wouldn’t say we were dating, that might still count? lol)

70. broken someones heart: No.

71. had your heart broken: Oh yeah.

72. been arrested: Nope. See statement about being so “good” that my mom never worried about me.

73. cried when someone died: Ridiculous amounts. Every time.

74. fallen for a friend: Not really.

do you believe in:

75. yourself: Some days.

76. miracles: Yeah.

77. love at first sight: I believe it happens, yes. It’s just rare.

78. santa clause: I believe in the magic of Santa.

79. kiss on a first date: Yeah, why not? As long as both want it.

80. angels: Not really, I’m a fairly strong atheist-agnostic.

80.5. Ghosts: Yes. I’ve heard too many stories to doubt that. One came from my mom and the hospital she works at, and she is not prone to fancy or fantasy.

other:

81. best friend’s name: Tammy. Wow, I guess some things never change. I’ve known her since I was 5.

82. eye color: Blue.

83. favorite movie: The Princess Bride.

84. fave actor: Misha Collins. Obvs.

This legit did not have 85 questions, so I added one under the “believe” section. You’re welcome.

And I legit can not think of people to tag right now, other than the one or two I always tag. (You know who you are...) So feel free to say I tagged you if you want.