#that's a really big thing in hollywood and it wouldnt be happening if

[daydreaming-scheming-demon]

i hate mainstream appeal, or at least an extreme and intentional amount of it. actually, hate isnt a strong enough word. despise. absolutely fucking despise.

so many companies just do not care for experimentation, and whenever they do the experimentation is barely anything. i see this in so much stuff, in how cgi and specifically certain styles of cgi has taken over cinema to the point where the few 2d animated films, especially the western 2d animated films, just dont do as well, even when they're popular IPs, because cgi has become standard. it aint an animated film if it aint cgi.

and not just cgi, but a very specific style of cgi. you see it in everything. it started with toy story, when toy story did it, it was great. it was original. it was actually trying something new. but then they kept doing it, and then every studio joined in when they realized it was cheaper. not just cgi but a specific style of cgi, not necessarily even the cheapest style, just a very mainstream one. i see it in encanto, in turning red, in inside out. dont get me wrong, i dont think this style is bad or that these movies dont still have unique aspects of their style, but you cant deny the similarities, and more importantly, the reason for those similarities, that being a need to appeal to the mainstream.

and it's annoying, and it bleeds into the story too, into the characters. they never pass a certain boundary, trying to stay firmly away from controversy, within the confines of family friendliness and a mainstream understanding of concepts. and this is restricting in some serious ways. to clarify, i do not want them to swear, i do not even want them to show blood or a whole lot that would get labelled as too mature for children. i just want them to not shy away from vaguely controversial things, to not be afraid of issues beyond a mainstream understanding, and to not cater to such a simplistic and common worldview so dramatically.

one of the things that makes stories, and media in general, so special to me, is their unique perspectives. i see this a lot in indie projects, and the contrast between them and big budget hollywood films is startling. i get a feel for such unique individual perspectives in indie projects, even the bad ones, and i guess that's what happens when the team is smaller or it's mostly only one person working on the project, because we're all unique, im sure even the individuals who make up the mainstream audience have unique perspectives, but that just doesn't come across in these larger films, or games, or anything really. anything disney, or nintendo.

and sure, you could say this is just because it's a smaller team. and im sure that's a contributing reason, no doubt. but the thing is, the contrast in worldviews between some of the more personalized large projects and the things curated to the tastes of the masses. take gravity falls for instance, a disney IP, but not one considered enough to bother curating at the time, just a show, not a film at the cinema. the style of cringe comedy it has, the way it tells stories and reveals mysteries, the absurdist view on the world it has, sure, it has a lot of people behind it, but a unique perspective on the world comes across well. the same with something like spiderverse, which is a big budget film, but damn did they know what they were doing.

and the unique perspectives disney films have on the world? well, they're there. there is kind of a difference, but it's barely as drastic. you can tell it was kept within tight confines, unwilling to present anything that the mainstream wouldnt easily comprehend, agree with, or find appealing.

and that's just so infuriatingly limiting. you can say it makes sense because the kind of person this is appealing to is like, the most common kind of person. that fact probably even plays a part in why these movies and other things are like this to begin with, though certainly not the only reason.

but do you not think the common person deserves more? deserves to be presented with things outside of their understanding? or comfort? i dont just interact with media that fits my own beliefs and perspective, yknow. because i think it's quite a good thing to do that.

i just, ughhhh. the mainstream bugs me so much. i dont even think a lot of these things are necessarily bad. encanto had good songs, inside out 2 dealt with issues of anxiety well within the limitations of mass appeal, turning red actually mentioned periods which was a small and good step outside the usual boundaries. but they just, they rub me the wrong way, yknow. they all do. most of the big live action hollywood movies too. same with many kinds of games, especially nintendo games. i just hate it, it's so limiting on our media, it's why i mostly just go with independent stuff, because that way i can see more unique individual styles, ideas, etc.

and yknow what? i do actually think they should maybe show a bit of blood on screen for these movies sometimes. and go beyond the concept of family friendliness. because all that stuff is a load of rubbish in my eyes. beliefs that got too out of hand and have so much wrong with them. yeah, i think we should pass those boundaries for big media meant for the mainstream. not with everything, but definitely with a lot of things.

this was just a random rant about something i hate that i wrote in one take, dont nitpick with any details you think im not 100% correct on please. this isn't supposed to be a perfect critique of mainstream media, this is just me venting. okay?

[castlebyersafterdark]

It’s so intriguing how Joseph Quinn entered ST for one season and already has a burgeoning career way stronger than any of the actors who’ve been here for a decade (he’s in a quiet place, the fantastic four, gladiator II, a major alex garland A24 war film, a major elevated horror film, and more to come). It’s like damn, where’s this energy for any of the other cast members? agents, please step up 😤

especially noah’s agent. noah should’ve landed roles post ST2 just like finn did early on

Oh gosh I forgot about that man but yeah, he seems to be popping OFF with big roles. Marvel lead???? Wild. I never could have predicted that one but good for him. I know that Stranger Things has really long filming demands but others have managed to do big roles as well. Not gonna pretend I know that much about the intricacies of all their filming decisions, but it's certainly interesting. I really don't know why Noah wasn't in more (better) stuff in conjunction with ST but maybe it's what his family decided?

now this is all interesting because i agree with vinny about noah's post-ST career. ST is something of a bubble; did you see that parody where it was called 'the worlds favourite TV show every three years' ? basically, most people - the industry peeps who make things happen and the viewing public - forget about the show until a new season comes out. its a cultural phenomenon rather than a stalwart, and i think it's going to continue to generate a loyal fanbase for decades to come, much like nerd classics like star trek. i can totally see this cast coming back again and again for reunion cons but not necessarily having varied, successful careers.

i think they are great actors in ST, but something about the ensemble cast and the magic of the show is what works for me. everything i've seen anyone do outside of ST has been disappointing tbh. i thought finn had quiet beauty in Saving the World, but if I saw that and didnt know who he was, I probably wouldnt think he was a giant star or follow his career. The youngest actors especially, in s1 and s2 they threw so much of themselves into the roles that I believe these characters now belong to them, are part of them. (Imagine: it's 2050, and Stranger Things is being rebooted. I can see Finn and Noah coming back for cameo roles, Mr Clarke or something, and old fans going wild.)

But I don't feel that way with B characters like Eddie/Joe Quinn. You have to consider that he was hella charismatic and is considered a good actor, period, not just within the show: he's a seasoned british theatre actor with roots in the biz. he's sort of like what jonathan bailey is to bridgerton, getting all the roles despite his castmates being super talented too. it speaks volumes about the kind of characters that the general public want to see + that the industry is willing to write. we've seen the steddie fandom here: joe has one hell of a demographic lapping up his stuff, and he's riding a fame wave of hot white twenty-something male, similar to Paul Mescal... and considering how fast pop culture/hollywood moves these days, I wouldnt be surprised if he too fades away after a few years of great success (like J. Law). He could also fuck it up with one wrong comment and get cancelled within the year lol. It's just so hard to predict.

but vinny was probably right on with noah being young - child stars rarely expand beyond one franchise/film while theyre that small due to legal filming limits and school commitments etc, and because theres so few child roles in hollywood. so comparing a young noah's talent and career with joe quinn's, who was an adult when he joined ST, doesnt really make sense.

+ this isnt really on topic but i personally would prefer them to fade and be happy and healthy than grind away and become jaded by the industry or have many flops. i already think finn worked too hard as a teen and has basically developmentally lived his twenties before his teen years, and is now sort of going back to that teen mindset and experimenting with music and chilling and doing things a teen should. when he said he had abandoned his career goals to focus on personal ones like 'being comfortable in my own skin', i rejoiced and also cursed the whole fame thing for just being so fucked up. his goal is to be 'a happy and healthy older person' - i mean, that made me cry dude. the implications and subtext of that statement! and people are out here thinking they should all be happy and fine cos theyre rich and have fancy cars and all these fans. like, tell me you don't know anything about what it means to be human. 🙄

Excellent points and discussions, all very real. Agreed. Thank you !! ❤️❤️

[inadequate-nefelibata]

The cobra kai writers room in numbers

I guess I’m finally going to post this, because otherwise I made all those excel speadsheets for no reason. (if you just want the numbers, its under “Writers room in numbers”)

It’s my personal opinion that every discussion about representation in media should always include a conversation about who is writting those stories. One of the main reasons why we lack diverse mainstream stories is because a lot of the time this type of media is produced and written by privileged groups. 

This is something that has been mentioned before many times, in many fandoms, but because the writer’s room is not inmediately visible when you consume a piece of media, most of the conversations about biases and stereotypes tend to focus on the diversity and development of the characters: how many of them belong to a certain group, what kind of storylines they get, etc, etc. If this is deemed insufficient or inadequate, the writers are encouraged to do better. 

This is not necessarily wrong: constructive criticism can actually help people become aware of certain issues in their writing. But even when they do care, these people are still going to be much better at empathizing with and humanizing people from their own group, not just because of their personal experiences, but also because the media they grew up with and still consume today contains those same biases. So, for example, as much as I do believe that a well-meaning man could create some great female characters, his ideas are probably going to be heavily influenced by what he has already categorized as “good female characters” in mainstream media, unless he actively looks for stories that were written by women. 

I did all that long texty introductiong because I dont want to make it seem like im singling out one show: this is an issue of the entire... uh format? 

Okay, so with that out of the way: 

Writer’s room in numbers

(That speadsheet looks ugly as hell, but oh well. I hope it’s at least visible!) 

References: 

orange: writer/director is not a man

green: writer/director is not white

To make it accesible for everyone, the numbers are:

N° of writers: 

White: 12/13

Men: 10/13

White men: 9/13

N° of episodes (writers):

White: 25/30

Men: 24/30

White men: 19/30

N° of directors:

White: 6/8

Men: 7/8

White men: 5/8

N° of episodes (directors):

White: 26/30

Men: 24/30

White men: 20/30

N° writers + directors (I realize that this is redundant. But I only came to that conclusion after I did the math. so Im sorry okay, but I need to put it somewhere):

White: 15/18

Men: 14/18

White men: 11/18

N° of episodes (writers + directors):

White: 22/30

Men: 20/30

White men: 14/30

To summarize: most of the writers/directors are white men,  half of the episodes are written and directed by white men, there are NO women of color, and NO latines, or, at least, no latines of color.

All the information was taken from the US wikipedia page of Cobra kai (you can see who wrote each episode there), IMDb and  the social media accounts of the members of the staff. Truthfully, I have no idea if the information on wikipedia is 100% legit. I originally went to the spanish version of the page, cause that’s my native language, aand some things there didn’t seem right. So, I switched to the US one because it seemed more complete. But... I don’t know. Just to be clear. 

Also, Josh Heald, Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg are always in charge of the story to some degree. According to the wikipedia page of Cobra kai, most of the input from other writers takes place in the teleplay. I know nothing about how  TV shows are made, but according to wikipedia: 

“According to current Writers Guild of America guidelines, a television script consists of two distinct parts: "story" and "teleplay". The story comprises "basic narrative, idea, theme or outline indicating character development and action", while the teleplay consists of "individual scenes and full dialogue or monologue (including narration in connection therewith), and camera set-ups, if required".[2] Simply put, this distinguishes the contribution of ideas toward the story from the actual writing of the dialogue and stage directions present on the page in the finished product.”

So that’s the difference.

Anyway, Cobra kai is not unique in this regard, but I think this is a good thing to keep in mind, especially when we discuss the lack of development of characters like Aisha or Carmen, or Nate, or the issues with most of the characters who are women. 

Extra stuff I have on my brain

According to some interviews (which should be taken with a grain of salt, bc they are talking about their bosses in public), both Vanessa Rubio (Carmen) and Tamlyn Tomita (Kumiko) got to make some calls in the story of their characters. For example, Vanessa said that she decided to give her an accent because of her background. Tamlyn put some conditions for her appearence in the show. Specifically, she wanted to see a more accurate portrayal of Okinawa. I did not get the impression that she was super satisfyed with the result though:

(...)

Unrelated but:

!!! 

[kellyvela]

i love the deranged dany/jon shippers trying to position themselves as some kind of authority on what grrm would and wouldnt do and insist that grrm would! never! hook jon up with his cousin when he actually intended to do that with jon and arya (in a love triangle with tyrion).

Hello Anon, 

Are you serious? There are people who believe GRRM would never hook up cousins?? And the same people ship aunt and nephew??? 

GRRM has no problem at all with incest, in ASOIAF we have siblings incest in Jaime and Cersei; and father daughters incest with Craster an his daughters. And we also have all the Targaryens ffs. 

He also has no problem with cousins getting involved in marriage alliances and romance, no matter if they aren’t Targaryens.  About cousins, we have Tywin and Joanna Lannister, and Rickard and Lyarra Stark. And about uncles and nieces, we have Jonnel and Sansa Stark, and the frustrated union of Cregan and Alys Karstark.  All these unions weren’t considered incest tho…

But GRRM does have a problem with “outlines”.  Let’s talk about “outlines” then:

FEBRUARY 2015

A reddit user spotted a tweet from UK bookseller Waterstones which contained three photos of a 1993 letter GRRM wrote outlining the entire ASOIAF series.

The tweet has since been deleted, but not before the images made it to the internet.

Here is the reddit post.

And here is an article with the three photos of the letter and the transcription.

As you said, GRRM “originally” planned for a Stark cousins romance between Jon Snow and Arya Stark: 

Jon Snow, the bastard, will remain in the far north. He will mature into a ranger of great daring, and ultimately will succeed his uncle as the commander of the Night’s Watch. When Winterfell burns, Catelyn Stark will be forced to flee north with her son Bran and her daughter Arya. Wounded by Lannister riders, they will seek refuge at the Wall, but the men of the Night’s Watch give up their families when they take the black, and Jon and Benjen will not be able to help, to Jon’s anguish. It will lead to a bitter estrangement between Jon and Bran. Arya will be more forgiving … until she realizes, with terror, that she has fallen in love with Jon, who is not only her half-brother but a man of the Night’s Watch, sworn to celibacy. Their passion will continue to torment Jon and Arya throughout the trilogy, until the secret of Jon’s true parentage is finally revealed in the last book.

And a love triangle with Tyrion Lannister: 

Tyrion Lannister will continue to travel, to plot, and to play the game of thrones, finally removing his nephew Joffrey in disgust at the boy king’s brutality. Jaime Lannister will follow Joffrey on the throne of the Seven Kingdoms, by the simple expedient of killing everyone ahead of him in the line of succession and blaming his brother Tyrion for the murders. Exiled, Tyrion will change sides, making common cause with the surviving Starks to bring his brother down, and falling helplessly in love with Arya Stark while he’s at it. His passion is, alas, unreciprocated, but no less intense for that, and it will lead to a deadly rivalry between Tyrion and Jon Snow.

So yeah, GRRM planned for a pseudo incest romance between two major characters of the same House, and a love triangle with a main character of a rival House.  

MAY 2016 - BALTICON 

A bit more than a year after that tweet from Waterstones, GRRM attended the The Maryland Regional Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention - BALTICON. There he was questioned by fans about the Jon and Arya romance:

After the Coffee Talk just outside the room:

My Con Friend asked about Arya and Jon again. This time GRRM gave some very pointed replies:

GRRM finished (in the hallway now) by saying that he “wished some past things weren’t such strong foreshadowing,” and that he, “wished some new things had stronger foreshadowing then.”

Friend: Ok, if you foreshadowed something in the first book, like, really cleverly hidden, would you then follow through on that hint? For sure?.. 

GRRM: “Well, this goes with what I said before, the story changes and expands as I write. I wish I was able to go back and make revised drafts, but that’s not going to happen.”

Here is a transcript of the outline discussion and Jon/Arya portion of the coffee talk:

[question about Jon/Arya]

GRRM: “Alright, you’ve thought about this more than I have. I mean it’s simple, Jon is very fond of Arya. They were the two odd birds in the Stark family nest, here. They didn’t quite fit in with the others, they look like each other, they both had the brown hair, you know, as opposed to the auburn hair of Sansa and Bran and Rickon and Robb. So there was always that closeness between them. And, you know, Arya didn’t mind that Jon was a bastard, and Jon didn’t mind that Arya was a tomboy, so there is that closeness there.”

[question about Jon comparing his lover to his sister]

GRRM: “If he did it, uhm… I began writing these books in 1991, and, uhm, I worked on it in 91 and then I got a tv play, so I put it aside to really work on ‘Doorways’ tv pilot and did a tv show in 92-93. In 94 I returned to it [the books] and worked on it. You know, up till then, in my career as a writer, I’d always written the entire book before I opted for sale. That’s unusual. Most writers do chapters and an outline. They write a few chapters, they outline the rest of the book, give that to the publisher and the publisher says ‘oh okay, I’ll take that’.

“As some of you may have noticed, those who have been paying very, very carefully attention, I’m not good with deadlines. And, uh, and I’m not good with outlines, either. I always hated outlines. So with Fevre Dream and with Armageddon Rag and with Dying of the Light and all my novels, I wrote the entire book. I didn’t do chapters and outline. I sat down, I wrote a whole book, and I sent it to my agent and said ‘Look, here’s a whole book, and it’s finished’. That way I ran into no deadline, it was finished before it even went on the market. And it worked well for me. And my initial thought was to do this the same way, but what happened, you know, was in 1994, uhm, when I returned to it and I’m working on it and I’m very enthused about it and I say ‘I really wanna write these Game of Thrones books as the next part’. But I was still in Hollywood and I’d just lost all this groundwork on ‘Doorways’, I was still in… The studios and networks still wanna work with me, so I’m getting other offers, like ‘We want you to write this movie’, ‘we want you to do another tv pilot’. And, you know, I took a couple of them and was ‘Oh god, I gotta have to put the book away again’. Cause I have no deadline [for the book]. You know, when you think Hollywood, they will give you a deadline, you know, they say ‘here, son, write this movie, we want it in three months’.

“So, I said ‘look, if I wanna get back to being a novelist, I’m gonna have to sell this even though it’s not finished’. So I had my 200 pages of Game of Thrones at that point, but they wanted outline. I said ‘I don’t do outlines. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, I figure it out as I go. And that’s how I always did it.’ No, we had to have an outline. So I wrote two pages, a two-page thing about what I thought would happen. It’ll be a trilogy, it’ll be three books, Game of Thrones, the Dance with Dragons, and Winds of Winter. Those were the three window titles. And, uh, it’ll be three books and this’ll happen, and this’ll happen, and this’ll happen. And I was making up shit.

“And I had thought that those two pages were long forgotten, because, of course, the books did sell. They sold in the United States and in Great Britain, both. They sold for enough money that I didn’t have to take any more Hollywood games. So I was able to say ‘no’ around. I had a few less [?] to wind up in in 94 and 95. Once I had, I said ‘no, I don’t want any more movies or tv shows, I’m going to write these books now’. And I started writing the books. And in the process, I pretty much disregarded the outline. The characters took me off in entirely different directions. So, for 20 years I had forgotten that that two-page thing even existed. And then someone in my British publisher, HarperCollins, they got a new office building, uh, brand new offices, and new conference rooms, big conference rooms that they decorated with books and stuff like that. And they named the conference rooms after the writers, so one of the conference rooms [?], and they put up these plastic display cases, including the outline. The two-page outline, yes. [?], they didn’t ask my permission, they just put it up. And in that two-page outline, Jon and Arya become a romantic item.”

“You know, I don’t think it’s a reference for that [for romance]. It’s a reference to a certain physical type, and  a certain indication of what Jon finds admirable. It’s like someone who reminds you of, you know… Other people might be put off by this, you know, hair that looks like small rodents have been living in there. It doesn’t put him off because he is used to that.””

[someone says they have 5 minutes left]

“You know, I was pretty pissed that that outline got out there. It should not have happened. Outlines and letters like that are meant only for the eyes of the editor. They shouldn’t go on public display. And, uh, they also [?] my papers on [?], all my papers and correspondence. You know, I’ve been sending that stuff there for years, and it’d be, you know, available for future scholars or whatever, just like the papers of many other writers. Somehow, in the back of my head I was like ‘yeah, 20 years after I’m dead some scholar will go in and find them’. They’re going in right now!”   ”

[question if he is still going with the 1991 ending]

“Yes, I mean, I did partly joke when I said I don’t know where I was going. I know the broad strokes, and I’ve known the broad strokes since 1991. I know who’s going to be on the Iron Throne. I know who’s gonna win some of the battles, I know the major characters, who’s gonna die and how they’re gonna die, and who’s gonna get married and all that. The major characters. Of course along the way I made up a lot of minor characters, you know, I, uhm…Did I know in 1991 how Bronn, what was gonna happen to Bronn? No, I didn’t even know there’d be a guy named Bronn. I was inventing him along the way when I was writing, ‘Okay, he gets kidnapped. Let’s see, there are a couple sellswords there, their names are Fred and Bronn’.“It was actually Bronn and Chiggen, and then one of them dies, I flipped a coin ‘okay, who dies? Chiggen dies, cause his name is stupid. Bronn is a better name, so I’ll keep Bronn’. And then Bronn became quite an interesting character and plenty of these characters take on minds of their own. They push to the front till you [?] speech and you think of a cool line and you give it to Bronn because he’s trying to talk, and now Bronn is somebody who says something cool. [?]. That’s how characters grow on you.“So a lot of the minor characters I’m still discovering along the way. But the mains-”

[question if he knows Arya’s and Jon’s fates]

“Tyrion, Arya, Jon, Sansa, you know, all of the Stark kids, and the major Lannisters, yeah.”

This report appears in the following sources:

fattest leech of ice and fire blog [Source 1] 

asoiaf.westeros.org [Source 2]  

westeros.org [Source 3]

As you can see Anon, according GRRM the “original outline” was “a two-page thing about what [he] thought would happen”… “And [he] was making up shit.”  

He also said that: “[he] pretty much disregarded the outline. The characters took [him] off in entirely different directions. So, for 20 years [he] had forgotten that that two-page thing even existed”.

But then he clarified that: 

“I did partly joke when I said I don’t know where I was going. I know the broad strokes, and I’ve known the broad strokes since 1991. I know who’s going to be on the Iron Throne. I know who’s gonna win some of the battles, I know the major characters, who’s gonna die and how they’re gonna die, and who’s gonna get married and all that. The major characters”.

From all this information, I think that the romance between Jon and Arya was discarded: 

[He] “wished some past things weren’t such strong foreshadowing,” and that he, “wished some new things had stronger foreshadowing then.”

The story changes and expands as I write. I wish I was able to go back and make revised drafts, but that’s not going to happen.”

But the romance between two major characters of the same House (Stark cousins) is still there.

But a romance between two major characters of the same House could also happen between aunt and nephew, and if we follow the Show, this was the new route GRRM took.  

We just have to wait to certainly know if GRRM will give us the Stark cousins romance that was promised or if he has already changed his original plan.  

[stoncs]

ay  buddies  what  is  up  !  i’m  tay  ,  n  i’m  here  to  reintroduce  you  to  my  emotional  support  bag  of  trash  ,  stone  .  we  were  here  a  minute  ago  ,  but  now  that  i  have  a  job  w  pretty  good  hours  i  thought  ...  huh  ,  isnt  it  time  for  stone  to  be  a  scumbag  again  ?  anyhow  ,  i’m  from  the  gmt-3  tmz  i  think  ,  maybe  .  i  go  by  feminine  pronouns  ,  n  it’s  hot  as  balls  in  this  wonderful  brazilian  weather  so  yall  can  catch  me  ugly  sweating  over  here  anytime  !  so  down  below  u  can  find  a  whole  ass  intro  abt  this  douchenozzle  ,   n  if  u  smash  the  gd  like  button  i  will  hit  u  up  for  some  plots !

𝐈.  𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋  :  

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄  :  stone  louis  liberman

𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄  :  stoney 

𝐀𝐆𝐄  :  twenty  five  

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑  /  𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒  :  cismale  /  he & him

𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘  :  bisexual  ,  biromantic

𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  :  part  time  professional  photographer

𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘  :  charles  liberman  &  elena  hardwell

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑  𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐎  :  scott  disick  ,  jean  ralphio  saperstein  ,  chuck  bass  (  ish  )  .

𝐈𝐈.  𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

stone  was  born  into  what  is  considered  hollywood  royalty  .  kind  of  like  brangelina  (  pre  breakup  )  ,  or  richard  burton  &  liz  taylor  ,  or  kim  &  k*nye  (  just  kidding  )  .  but  yes  ,  they  were  both  really  famous  actors  who  were  both  in  commited  relationships  when  they  first  met  on  a  movie  set  and  fell  in  mad  love  with  each  other  .  by  the  time  the  movie  had  premiered  they  were  already  secretly  married  and  just  the  most  talked  about  topic  in  the  movie  industry  .

AND  they  lived  happily  ever  after  .  just  kidding  ,  mr.  liberman  died  in  a  car  crash  when  stone  was  ten  years  old  ,  and  his  loss  really  broke  his  mother  .  she  grieved  the  best  way  she  knew  how  :  by  drinking  a  lot  and  getting  remarried  less  than  a  year  after  losing  her  husband  .  and  then  getting  remarried  5  more  times  after  that  . stone  actually  gets  along  really  well  with  most  of  his  mom’s  ex-husbands  ,  and  is  still  friends  with  some  of  them  even  after  elena  eventually  ditches  them  .  stone  also  claims  not  to  remember  his  dad  ,  but  actually  does  and  really  misses  him  and  the  family  they  were  specially  .

in  regards  of  family  ,  his  dad  had  2  kids  before  marrying  his  mom  ,  and  his  mom  had  one  after  losing  his  dad  so  he  has  plenty  of  siblings  .  he  isn’t  particularly  close  to  them  since  they  never  saw  much  of  each  other  growing  up  ,  but  he  is  very  close  to  his  little  sister  ,  who’s  13  and  just  as  chaotic  as  he  is  but  definitely  a  lot  smarter  .  he  loves  her  to  pieces  even  though  sometimes  he  thinks  she’s  satan  hiding  inside  a  teenage  girl’s  body  .

okay  ,  so  ,  as  previously  mentioned  ,  stone  views  life  in  a  ‘before  dad  &  after  dad’  kinda  way  ,  in  regards  that  childhood  before  his  father  died  was  amazing  ,  they  were  always  travelling  and  going  to  cool  spots  and  having  fun  .  his  mom  was  awesome  &  he  loved  his  dad  to  pieces  and  he  never  had  to  go  to  school  .  life  was  like  ,  perfect  .  and  then  his  dad  died  and  his  mother  was  such  a  mess  .  she  was  having  such  a  hard  time  dealing  with  losing  him  that  she  honestly  couldn’t  give  stone  the  affection  and  structure  he  needed  ,  so  he  was  mostly  left  behind  in  the  chicago  house  with  babysitters  and  homeschool  teachers  while  his  mom  was  off  working  and  getting  married  .  he  doesn’t  really  hold  a  grudge  or  anything  ,  but  he’s  definitely  not  as  close  to  his  mom  because  of  it  ,  it’s  like  he  can’t  really  connect  with  her  anymore  .

stone  never  went  to  college  ,  his  mom  had  to  actually  pay  for  his  high  school  diploma  because  she  didn’t  want  him  to  be  a  dropout  ,  and  stone  spent  most  of  his  life  with  zero  life  prospects  ,  all  he  did  for  a  while  was  spend  his  parent’s  money  and  get  super  fucked  up  .  that  being  said  ,  he’s  really  shaped  up  the  last  couple  of  years  &  ran  with  the  passion  he  had  for  photography  .  he’s  quite  a  bit  more  serious  about  it  than  most  people  know  ,  and  has  shot  big  pieces  for  mags  like  time  and  rolling  stone  ,  but  he  doesn’t  really  want  anyone  creating  expectations  about  him  so  he  usually  keeps  quiet  .  ALSO  because  he’s  having  sex  with  a  bunch  of  models  who  he  definitely  shouldn’t  be  associating  with  ,  so  he  likes  to  keep  a  low  profile  .

growing  up  and  to  this  day  ,  stone  never  minded  the  attention  he  got  from  being  a  hollywood  baby  .  he  just  was  never  bothered  by  it  ,  and  even  like  makes  it  a  game  to  see  how  many  paps  he  can  gather  by  going  out  to  get  groceries  or  to  some  fancy  sushi  place  all  the  celebs  are  going  to  .  he’s  basically  an  attention  wh*re  ,  we  hate  him  .

ALSO  he  is  a  daddy  !  literally  has  a  five  year  old  son  who’s  called  bodhi  .  there’s  a  lot  of  drama  with  his  mother  so  he  doesn’t  get  to  see  him  very  often  ,  but  he  loves  bodhi  very  much  and  is  a  pretty  good  dad  ?  not  the  best  ,  but  he  tries  really  hard  to  be  good  actually  .

𝐈𝐈𝐈.  𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

stone  is  generally  a  great  person  to  be  around  if  you’re  looking  for  a  good  time  ,  he’s  always  up  to  something  fun  and  anything  you  wanna  do  that  most  people  would  consider  crazy  ,  stone  is  the  guy  that  will  say  hell  yea  and  not  think  twice  to  do  it  with  you  .  he  loves  to  be  surrounded  by  people  and  is  just  a  party  animal  .

he’s  also  super  chill  .  crazy  chill  .  too  chill  .  nothing  gets  him  mad  ,  like  ,  nothing  .  usually  that  annoying  dude  who  will  tell  you  to  calm  down  when  you’re  arguing  and  make  you  wanna  choke  him  .  the  least  threatening  dude  you  will  ever  meet  .

just  a  cool  dude  to  have  around  overall  ,  like  people  are  always  having  fun  when  they’re  around  him  .

but  ...  has  NO  moral  compass  ,  not  even  a  single  ounce  of  it  .  he  is  the  most  opportunistic  person  .  will  100%  do  whatever  it  takes  to  get  things  to  go  his  way  ,  and  has  no  concern  about  how  his  actions  affect  others  .  he  usually  thinks  since  nothing  bothers  him  ,  he  can  do  whatever  he  wants  to  everyone  else  and  no  one  will  mind  .

kinda  a  nice  douchebag  ?  he’s  really  charming  and  nice  and  cool  but  will  probably  screw  you  over  at  least  once  in  your  life  ,  maybe  more  if  you  let  him  ngl  .

𝐈𝐕.  𝐅𝐔𝐍  𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒

is  a vegetarian  !  tried  to  go  vegan  once  but  he  really  likes  chocolate  milk  and  gave  up  .

speaks  very  slowly  ,  says  ‘i mean’  ,  and  ‘uh’  ,  a  lot  .  you’ve  probably  asked  him  to  talk  a  little  faster  once  or  twice  .

is  named  stone  because  he  was  conceived  at  a  rolling  stones  concert  .  shout  out  to  mick  jagger  .  his  mom  always  tells  him  that  and  he  is  traumatized  by  it  .

does  a  LOT  of  drugs  ,  if  he  ever  zones  out  feel  free  to  assume  he’s  tripping  about  purple  crocodiles  or  something  freaky  .

is  6  foot  tall  and  very  clumsy  about  it  !  

was  actually  born  in  greece .

𝐕.  𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃  𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒 

best  friend  :  someone  who’s  been  there  for  stone  through  pretty  much  everything  and  vice  versa  ,  knows  all  his  fuckups  and  either  tries  to  get  him  to  become  a  better  human  being  or  just  fucks  up  right  along  with  him  .    

half  sibling  :  they’re  kinda  awkward  in  that  …  cousins  at  family  get  together  type  of  way  ?  stone  doesn’t  particularly  see  this  person  as  his  actual  sibling  and  they  neither  love  nor  hate  each  other  ,  it’s  just  rly  awkward  .

skinny  love  :  they’re  like  …  the  relationship  that  never  was  ?  they  both  cared  about  one  another  ,  but  for  some  reason  didn’t  end  up  together  so  now  ….  weirdness  happens  ?  they  dont  really  know  where  they  stand  with  one  another  n  might  still  care  but  it  doesn’t  seem  like  it’s  gonna  happen  .

exes  on  good  or  bad  terms  :  like  previously  mentioned  ...  stone  is  kinda  an  asshole  ,  so  his  relationships  mostly  end  up  not  in  the  best  way  possible  ?  that  being  said  ,  he  can  sometimes  be  decent  ,  so  maybe  there  could  be  relationships  that  end  up  in  a  generally  positive  note  ?  possibly  .

CHEATING  PLOTS  :  honestly  stone  might  be  the  king  of  cheating  ?  he  just  doesn’t  care  ?  he’s  such  an  asshole  .  this  doesn’t  even  have  to  be  romantic  either  ?  he  could  have  hooked  up  with  someone  his  friend  liked  or  someone’s  MOM  ,  like  .  he  just  cheats  everyone  on  everything  all the  time  . 

first  love  :  the  person  who  he  thought  was  going  to  give  him  the  romance  that  his  mom and  dad  had  ,  could  have  ended  on  good  or  bad  terms  but  he  always  holds  a  special  place  in  his  heart  for  them  . 

flings  or  fwbs  :  he  probably  has  plenty  of  those  because  stone  is  at  a  phase  in  life  where  he  doesnt  really  believe  in  monogamy ?  i’m  serious  i  hate  him  .  he  probably  has  a  bunch  of  flings  and  not  gonna  lie  ,  he  could  be  stringing  some  of  them  along  just  because  i  love  me  some  drama  .

platonic  siblingish  friendship  :  someone  he  doesn’t  even  think  about  being   with  .  probably  someone  he  kind  of  sees  like  a  sibling  and  is  just  really  protective  about  . 

party  pals  :  they  don’t  really  have  much  in  common  ,  but  they  have  a  great  time  whenever  there  are  parties  and  fun  adventures  around  .

bad  blood  :  stone  doesn’t  really  hate  anyone  ,  but  there  are  definitely  people  he’s  uncomfortable  around  or  who’s  presence  he’s  really  not  fond  of  ?  possibly  a  lot  of  cold  shouldering  and  some  snarky  remarks  ,  nothing  to  extreme  though  .

okay  so  i  feel  like  this  ran  a  little  long  .  it  probably  did  .  a  lot  of  it  was  recycled  from  my  old  intro  but  yall  still  wouldnt  believe  how  long  that  took  me  .  so  like  this  if  u  hate  stone  &  lets  plot  !  

[maliciousdraggy]

[SERIOUS] how did you feel after failed suicide attempt

Hear me out, I know this might sound like a troll post but please let me get my story out and I hope to get feedback from this.

I just got out of the VA hospital for a 5 day stay in the mental health ward. They were really good people and I can not say enough praise about them but I have to lead everyone up to the point on which they were able to help me.

Before the cause of my stay in the hospital I honestly thought that people who self harmed was just people looking for attention or that maybe had some kind of fetish. I do my best not to judge people based on just one insight I have of the person but to be honest I've only knew a few in my life, a total of two to be honest and from knowing them in the aspects that they showed to the world I deemed them "attention whores" and never thought about it much ever since.

Last week I tried to take my life. The reasons honestly doesn't matter it could be ptsd, general life related or just simple lack of sleep.

I had my plan together, wife was at work, only mother-in-law was home and upstairs, I placed my dogs in my room and I was going to go into the back yard with a glock 38 .45 acp. I called 911 and informed them that they would have a body to pick up at this address and where it would be located. The Operator tried the normal stuff such as think of your family and friends and how much you would be hurting them with some other stuff but I was half way listening to be honest because my goal was to bed dead and the cops take my body before my wife and step kids got home.

so I laid down in the backyard next to the pool and fire pit I had put in years back, my left arm laid in dog shit and I just groaned to my self "this isn't what I want to leave behind". I wiped off the dog shit the best I could so at least it wouldn't be obvious to the first person that found my body that I willingly/mistakenly laid it in. I hear rambles on my smart phone not sure what she was saying but I'm guessing she was going through a checklist and then I brought the pistol up to my head.

I took a big deep breath and well you know the outcome I couldn't pull the trigger. I a man that has spent literally years in Iraq being shot and bombed against could not pull the fucking trigger....

The amount I hatred I felt for myself and for life as a whole will never be done in that moment. "You had 1 fucking job and you couldn't do it" "you pile of shit, gutless little faggot that always cried out for a way out but when it came you didn't have the balls". Words honestly can not do justice to the emotions I felt at the time. I already give the 911 operator my info so I knew I only had limited time to finish what I started.

I did not have a back up plan when I started this because I honestly thought I could take the shot. my mind jumped to slitting my wrist in all the Hollywood cliches movies I've seen in the past. I ran into my kitchen. my heart is pounding because I know I'm on a timer, the cops are coming and I need to be dead before they get here but I need to die outside. I grabbed a hand full of knifes that was in the butcher block thingie not sure what its called but it held 8 of them and came out with 3. I started cutting my left wrist with the biggest which I thought would be the sharpest and it just tore the skin. "shit its dull" then I grabbed the next one and rub my thumb across its blade in a right to left motion. It was also dull as well as the third.

So here I am dog shit on 1/2 of my left arm a pistol with 1 round in it in front of me and 3 different kinds of knifes around me while cops are coming...

yea fuck that, I knew I had a sharp or at least what I thought was sharp leatherman type knife I had from a while back in my den. I ran in, grabbed it and went back to the spot I picked to die *not sure why I picked this spot it just seemed like a nice place to die but I digress*. I started slicing at my left wrist, the first time I have ever cut my self on purpose in my life and the knife was not as sharp as I thought it was so I kept slicing and it would dig in then jump to another spot repeatedly but at least it was sharper than knifes in the kitchen. The 911 operator is still on my smart phone and I cant hear a word she is saying but I do remember saying "there we go" when I first start seeing beads then what I thought was an artery of blood sprint forth my arm *14 1/2 inches according to the nice people at the va and just kept repeatedly slicing.

Now during this time I thought I was done for so I was just going for style points and just to be sure. So I kept slicing and wincing at the pain when the knife jumped to another spot over and over again but with all the blood it was really hard to see what was being done and I just kept repeating the motion over and over again until I heard someone from my back right say my name and to drop the weapon. I do remember telling the officer that I'm not done yet. He yells at me again to drop the weapon and at this point I figure that I would listen to him because I'm already dead right? I've got my left arm covered with blood that has been stabbed and torn and sliced over 20 times no way I'm making my way out of this. I throw the knife down a good 5 feet from me and place my hand above my head as I was instructed I remember blood hitting my bald spot as I did this and was like "yea, going to die in peace on a stretcher somewhere and not on grass with dog shit on it". The Officer ask if I have any other weapons, I tell him I have a pistol with 1 round on it in front me. he ask that I stand up and by no means lean towards the pistol *I have nothing but respect for cops I know they are like people and some fuck up and there are good and bad ones but I'm not the type of shitlord that tries to make things hard for them* so I do what I'm told. The officer comes in front of me with a tact vest of some sort mostlikey running interceptor body armor *that shit is a joke* and an ar15 type rifle not sure if it was a sigg but he had his kit fully ready.

The officer reaches for the pistol thats around 2 foot in front of where I was squatting on the deck. he takes the pistol and throws it to the side. He had sunglasses on but if I was him I sure as hell wouldnt of taken an eye off of me. he ask if I had anymore weapon I tell him no. He then tells me to stand up and turn my back towards him which I do. He then ask me to lift up my shirt which I'm guessing is to make sure I didn't have any hidden weapons on me and at this point another officer appears in front of me. I dont know when he got there or how but I didn't notice until it already happened.

The 2nd officer checked my waistband again for something that might be hidden and tells me to keep my arms up. at this point my left arm is covered in blood and its just dripping all over the stone decking. I'm waiting for the whole pass out and never wake up thingie to happen but since you've read this far you know that didn't happen. After both officers checked me they called in emts which got to work on my arm and in my mine I thought "haha faggots ya too late, too slow on the draw /muahahhaha I win".

The EMTs starts cleaning off the blood and for the first time I can honestly see the real damage I did and let me be everything but misunderstood here "I was fucking ferrous". My entire arm that was covered in blood and I thought I was done for was just a shit load of nicks and scratches. 20 or 30 times I carved with the knife it was just jumping from 1 point to another very few places did it have what I would even call a decent cut.

So after the EMTs clear me the 2nd officer is talking with me and me being the big bitch I am had been crying the entire time in hopes that the cutting would put and end of my life/suffering. The 2nd officer tried doing the whole "what about you friends and family" speech bullshit which before then I thought was just a trope so I told him I'm a selfish asshole and I just want this one thing.

we go back and forth not sure for how long, maybe 15 mins *I'm not the best judge of time* before I'm handcuffed and put in back of a squad car then moved to another one because its 1 guys launch break *this is true a fuck and in the moment I'm like yea ok let the guy get some food because everyone hates working on there lunch break* so I'm moved into the other car and we make the way to the largest VA hospital in my area. The reason we are going to the VA is because they have seen me before on thoughts of suicide but this was the first time I've taken action. *if your asking why a guy who had seen the doc about suicide stuff still have a weapon, its simple really. I locked it in a quick release safe that only my wife has/had the code to. it took me 5 mins with a flat head screw driver to open it so keep that in mind if you have a quick release safe because of kids* I get to the hospital which took around an hour and the entire time cop number two was talking to me. IMO he is a good guy, not he's a cop so he's a good guy but he honestly seemed to care about what was going on.

I'm in the va hospital, cop number 2 talks to another cop there and says I'm non combative would he like for me to stay in restrains or not. cop number 3 says nah take'm off. so there I am, pissed at the entire world and myself most of all in a lil room with glass doors with a small Hispanic nurse next to me and the 3rd officer keeping and eye on me in the distance.

[dwightkschrute]

In 2014 and 2015 I did a my year in review kind of thing where I, of course, reviewed it and accompanied it with a picture from that month. I somehow forgot to post 2016 (until now) and forgot to do it at all for 2017 but unfortunately, I am back with a really disappointing year. I was debating not putting myself through the legit pain of “reviewing” this year but I think of how I love going through my 2009-2010 posts and seeing how much I’ve grown so this is for you, successful and cooler future me.

2016 and 2017 were amazing but 2018 was my most promising year. My boyfriend and I were going to move in, I was going to start my dream job; everything was perfect. It definitely started out as one of the best years of my life! Then exactly halfway through the year everything changed and I was left having to pick up the pieces and completely restart, making it one of the worst years of my life.

I started January in Mexico, which was the best, but my family and I got home early in the month. I had quit my job the month before so I dedicated the entirety of this month to job hunting. Our friend (my bf’s bff who became mine and my brother’s bff early on)’s dad got a boat so it was like we got a boat too because despite the cold, we lived on it. (My boyfriend couldn’t go on the trip with us, which he was super bummed about (and that we had to spend like 10 days apart which was killer then), so he was the one to pick us up at the airport and he greeted me with a bouquet of flowers. Out of the many gifts/gestures he gave me, that was one of my favorites.)

February I started my amazing new job so life was back to 40 hour work weeks and not having much time for much else. I was always attached to the hip to my bf so almost every day after work entailed going out with him or having dinner with my family or his. That was my month. My favorite part of every February is Valentine’s Day and this one was as amazing as the rest. I don’t even have enough space (of the allotted space I give myself for each entry at least!) to describe that day. (My bf at our Valentine’s Day dinner. We finished our long day at this restaurant (so, so cool, once popular with Old Hollywood stars) on Hollywood Blvd and it was dreamy and romantic and amazing.) Oh man, I don’t have a lot of interesting things to say about March. Oh, my parents got Influenza (A/B/idk tbh), so it was two weeks of my brother, bf, and I taking care of them. My dad has a serious chronic disease so it was especially dangerous for him so it was a stressful time. Once we weren’t in hazmat suits anymore (no but really, we were gloved and double masked around them and kept them quarantined), I’d be at work or with my bf. I also started to get close with a co-worker, who I quickly became close friends with! (My bf’s two huskies. I’ve just loved that picture since I took it! I’ve never been loved by a dog more than the one in the back of this pic. Not even by my own! He has a special place in my heart.)

April was barbecues at my house or my bf’s, trying every brewery and bar around, hikes, bike rides, beach visits, baseball games, boat rides, late night cooking and baking. It was lots and lots of love and happiness and I would give absolutely anything to go back to those days. (My brother and bf grilling on Easter. This was a familiar scene, I have so many pictures of this exact scenario, yet looking at it just now made me so emotional! Stop! They’re just grilling!) May was so exciting! Very first day I got a new car! I was so happy! It was long overdue because my finicky, expensive Volkswagen had to go and I’d fallen in love with the new Honda Civic (I’ll admit I have basic taste but I don’t care!) so I finally bit the bullet and did it. This month my bf and I, after a long time of “oh wouldn’t it be nice!”, bit the bullet as well and decided to finally get serious about finding a place together. So the apartment search started, but we soon realized our home, Orange County, was super expensive. My bf, in that “ha ha jk but I’m down if you are” way, suggested we pick up and move to Oregon and I immediately agreed. It just felt right and despite us being the most careful and non-spontaneous people ever, we decided to do it! So we began to research, look for apartments but most importantly, jobs. (My car the day I took it home!)

Uhhhhhh, well, June hurts to think about! We went to visit Portland, where we decided we’d want to live because that’s where the jobs were, on a quick trip since it was strictly “business.” Portland was everything I imagined and more. We loved it and I think we loved playing house in our airbnb more than anything about the city. Back in LAX we came to the easy conclusion that though we lived Portland, that’d require a lot and for our first time moving out we’d like to stay close to home and above anything else, we just wanted to live together as soon as possible. We immediately started to look for places in LA, we spent the month apartment hunting, and towards the end of it, decided on one we really liked, one he begged me to please say yes to so we can move in already. I was so, so, so happy this month but what made me happier was seeing my bf, I swear, even happier than me. I seriously felt unstoppable and was beyond excited for our future. (I had a lot of Portland pictures to choose from but my bf and I liked this one because it reminded us of Always Sunny for some reason.)

In July, everything changed. To start, I left my job. I thought, new chapter in my life, new job coming, I’ll live really far, I should leave now. So I did. My last day was an emotional day because I loved my job so much and every single person I worked with. That very same day, my bf and I broke up. For unrelated reasons to my last day, to our moving in, to our relationship, etc. We had an amazing, amazing relationship but he has a lot of demons and issues/insecurities he has to deal with and conquer, and though I was aware and was there for him and would continue to be by his side no matter what, he decided that this was a battle he had to handle by himself and I figure before he got into a more committed situation. It didn’t have to happen, though. I hadn’t talked about the specifics of the breakup on my blog so  sorry for changing the mood of the post, but yeah, July happened and it felt like my world stopped. Really regret quitting my job now, huh? I was hit by two huge losses and changes right at the same time.  (I took this on my friend’s boat 20 tequila shots in, drunk and sad as fuck. Not to get fake deep but how sad. Literally on a boat, beautiful sunset, would rather die.)

August was a blur and I’m still not convinced I didn’t just dream it. God, alright, here we go, the rest of the year is a mess so get ready. I fell into a deep depression fast. It also didn’t help that my dad had to start getting radiation/infusions for his illness shortly after the breakup. I couldn’t believe how much my life had changed. I started dating someone else and then I dated another guy shortly after. I wanted to replace and/or forget and I really thought that’d be the solution. I was miserable when I was with them. I took absolutely any opportunity to get really drunk or high, and the opportunity came often so I spent most of my days desperately trying to not feel anything. The only time I’d feel okay was when I was extremely high and I couldn’t even think. Since I had a lot of savings for my out of state move, I had a lot of money to blow, which I did. I realized I even liked the feeling of the temporary “high” of spending a lot and receiving the stuff. I’d hang out with any friend who offered (out of boredom? loneliness?) and even ended up on a mess of a Vegas trip. Worst month ever. Maybe. (Here’s a positive! I like that bathing suit and my tiddie looks so round!)

When September came I realized two months had passed and all I had done was be a huge depressed mess. I no joke forgot about work. I just straight up forgot. I started to look for a new job, which hurt me so bad because I had to face the fact that it wouldn’t be my Cool LA Dream Job anymore. I stopped dating. Most importantly, I completely stopped drinking and smoking because it’d almost always make me sadder but also it scared me that I had no self control nor did I care. I saw a whole lot of my close friends and they, along with my immediate family, kept me afloat this month because time felt like it was going so fast. I couldn’t believe that at a blink of an eye it was night again and then a new day. Time had no mercy for me, please let me hold on. (Me at a baseball game. Tbh I’m looking at this thinking, did this really happen?)

October started out nice because my best friend of years, who I unfortunately had a falling out with three years ago, reached out to me. I’ll always give her all of the credit for doing that. I can’t begin to explain what this meant to me. It was a nice, bright shine of light that managed to shine through the dark clouds. Having my best friend is exactly what I needed. I’m a big believer in the universe acting in mysterious ways and though I had grown disappointed in its little surprise for me lately, this was the kind I always appreciate. I spent a good part of that month with her, catching up and doing things just like we did back then. It was like nothing had changed. That’s all I remember about this month, and a super fun Halloween! That day was probably one of the best days in months. (My best friend Rylee and me the first time seeing each other in 3 years. We’ve had our blogs for 8-9 years so please follow her for quality content)

November was rough. I was frustrated because surely things should had been better by then. I was still feeling so low, I was going to job interviews to no avail, I “relapsed” and had a high/drunk off my ass on a boat messy moment.. To make matters worse, I accidentally drove up on a cement divider in a parking lot and my airbags deploy, which is so expensive to fix, so my car was out of commission for a month. Then I got so sick and I rarely ever get a small cold. I seriously felt like I was cursed, even the smallest thing felt like an insult towards me. The one good thing is that since July I had been forcing myself to go to the gym five times a week. My mom said exercising was the only thing that’d help her feel that sweet release of seretonin, endorphins, dopamine, and all that good stuff when she was depressed so, though I enjoyed going to the gym before, I did it just for that reason alone. It worked and as another result I got like pretty fucking fit. Revenge body, you’re one of the few good things in my life right now. (I literally had no idea what to choose so I said fine, here’s a pic of the scene of the crime. Whatever.)

In December I turned 26. Which I hate, naturally. I went to a million more job interviews. I’m seriously so embarrassed to admit that but whatever, it’s the truth. (I have a degree, experience, and an awesome cover letter..I’ll keep blaming the curse!) What kept me sane was that we had different family members visiting from the very beginning of the month. Playing with an energetic, adorable baby kept me distracted and happy. Having so much company around also distracted me (slightly, but it helped!) from the fact that the holidays and my birthday would be quite different now. I’m one of those annoying Christmas lovers, usually at least. This year everything just happened and I didn’t care. But I survived December! (I don’t care. This is the appropriate representation of 2018 and how I feel at the end of it.)

Jesus if you’ve read all of this.. I’m sorry you had to read about the mess of my year but really more like the mess that is ME. Yknow those like “people my age I went to HS with vs me” memes? I seriously went from being that bitch with a good paying job, brand new car, a serious, great relationship with a promising future together (Like. We would color coordinate outfits! LMAO. We would have dinners with both of our families together. We were obsessed with each other. You’d roll your eyes if you saw any of this. I can’t get over how perfect we were, it’s hilarious what happened to us.) and then at the blink of an eye I went to not having absolutely any of that, casually dating (something I’d NEVER done) anyone who resembled my ex and sadly and drunkenly puking off the side of a pier. Who is she? I don’t know, I got whiplash. (Queen of parentheses and side notes, I know. But another thing about me is... I’ve never been affected by people leaving my life. I’m used to it. I’ve never been anywhere as affected as I was when my ex and I broke up. This isn’t normal for me, my ENTJ/Capricorn ass doesn’t know what this feeling is.)

Please curse that has been put on me, release me. Whoever is attacking my voodoo doll, calm down! Please! I’ve gone through enough sadness and loss. If 2019 is even slightly as bad, I’m going to be like that pigeon I reblogged the other day that’s like “fuck this I’m just going to sit here.” I can’t even make a cute but corny, hopeful “hope 2019 is great!” comment. I’m literally begging you...pleading you... I don’t believe in karma but after all of this shit, I better have something much better in stock for me. “Good things are coming!” I fucking hope so. Like, I’ll be even more annoying right now and say that it’s not fair that I didn’t get to have the future I was about to have. I don’t care about any cliche you may have for me. One door closes, everything happens for a reason, God has a plan, etc. No. Why did all of this have to happen? What can be better than the future I was going to have? I felt so unlucky. It all feels like a nightmare and I’m just waiting to feel whole again. Oh shit I got really intense. I know I’ll get over it and life will be good again eventually but for now, I am still so mad. I would have never in a million years guessed this is how my 2018 would go. 

So fine, I’ve accepted things now, so now I’m impatient and say please prove me wrong, 2019. I’m THREATENING you to be amazing!

[tumblunni]

Oh and just to clarify that the long time it took for me to get this surgery isnt a sign the nhs is bad or anything! I just had complications due to my life situation. Cos of my autism and anxiety i REALLY REALLY cant cope with having surgery done on me while im awake, even if im numbed up. The panic reaction is so strong and involuntary that i cant stop shaking and risk messing up the surgery becaue of it, not to mention the chamce of doing worse damage to myself in a panic attack. So i had to specifically be sent to the main hospital and receive overnight anesthetic, and i had to have a longer stay than usual because i live alone with no parents or lifr partner who could watch over me during my recovery. So the actual surgery itself just took three hours and the worst part was the anxiety of having to wait about 18 more hours in a busy hospital feeling perfectly fine but unable to go home until the observation period had passed and also til i was able to get a lift home with my psychologist. I am SO grateful she was able to support me with this!! So yeah i basically had to have the ultra deluxe complicated version of the regular surgery which also had to correlate with a time my psychologist would be free, and thats why ut was hard for them to find a time to schedule it. And most of the waiting was initially because of me being a dumbass and being too afraid to tell anyone i was in pain and too afraid to go to the doctor. I think it must have been almost four years of that? And then it was just a two year wait of going thru pre-assessments and waiting for a time slot for this final full operation. Which is still a frustrating time to wait but i understand tat the circumstances made it difficukt and also this isnt really an emergency surgery so yeah. I was just making a lot of frustrated posts about it over the last few years cos the waiting PROCESS is really bad, yknow? You barely get any information on how long you have to wait, its just all left up in the air that it could be any time in the next year and yoy'll get a very short notice letter right when its about to happen and npthing else for months at a time. And the automated phone service is badly made and yeah basically just a bunch of lame decisions made by the accounting section of the company that ended up increasing my anxiety, lol.

But seriously id way rather have this than having "only if you can pay for it" surgery! I mean when i finally got there it was all SO amazing and hi tech and highly staffed and everyone was so nice and it was all so fast and efficient and really comfy and everyone made you feel at home and you got a private cubicle with a lockable door and free food like 5 times a day like holy shit they wouldnt stop giving me The Best Toast In The World and my throat hurt but i felt it woulf be impolute to not Honor Their Toastly Kindness! So many of my worries about the experience were totally unfounded dumb hollywood myths that dont happen at all in british hospitals. And they still manage to run such a well oiled machine of amazing professionals and above excellent patient service despite how bad our economy is right now! I overheard them talking about jow their budget is lower ths year and i was like "holy shit but you guys are so amazong?? How do you manage??" I cant even imagine what it must have been like back when doctors got better salaries! Seriously they just WOULD NOT STOP PAMPERING ME it was so WEIRD!!! Comfy adjustable beds and reclining super soft sofa and this whole personal room and people coming in with trolleys full of a wide selection of really damn amazing breakfast foods and they even gave you special comfort socks for the long time of bed rest to avoid ankle swelling and they were like friggin cinderella scene insisting on putting the socks on for you?? I felt so embarassed in the good way for once! Blushing cos it was total prince treatment! And none of that "oh drugs are so expensive you have to go without necessary medicine in order to pay the bills" shit, they kept offering me optional medicines thatd make every part of the surgery easier and were like "please dont worry about accepting them, its the government's job to make sure youre free of pain so just be honest if youre feeling bad". But seriously the surgery was all so swift and done with great precision and i had such kind care and warm drinks and SO MUCH JAM ON MY TOAST that i felt like my mouth was okay even without the extra painkiller dose. And then i expected id just have to buy my own paracetamol once i was discharged from surgery but they gave me a big box of extra strength jaw surgery specific paracetamol for free! All of this was free! I got free goddamn cosmetic reconstruction on my teeth that i never even asked for and i was like holy shit when i looked in the mirror lol. I just expected everything to be gone but they put this reconstructive cap thing to replace the front teeth just jn case i was worried about the appearance of the gap between them. And SO MUCH goddamn free food holy shit im so toasted out! And free tv and wifi and showers and a warm comfy sofa and just a nice day of chilling out in a very weird sort of luxury hotel, lol. And the gift shop was also super cheap and full of necessities! And the nurse was so kind that i was able to hand her the money and she went to the gift shop for me when i was too dizzy to walk. I needed new headphones cos mine broke on the way there, and she got me a staff discount on them and picked out the cutest best pair! UNICORN DRAGON PATTERN!! Im gonna keep them FOREVER holy shit they look so cool and for a £1 discount pack they have sonmuch better sound quality and noise cancellation than the more expensive ones i had before. And the whole gesture just really touched me, it cheered me up so much to have a giggle at some adorable fashion headphones and see my nurse jamming along to ed sheeran to test that they worked, and she was just so sassy and jokey and we even had a contest between all of the nurses comparing our silly socks! Seriously it was just SO welcoming and unscary and had a lot more privacy than i expected and a lot less heavy restrictions and stuff and jusy EVERYONE WAS SO NICE AND SO GOOD AT THEIR JOB and did i mention THE BEST TOAST EVER

So yeah i dont think im scared of hospitals anymore. And i feel guilty about all the panicky posts i made before i went in for this operation, i hope i didnt give anyone the wrong impression that i was some longknowing person making factual complaints about the nhs as opposed to a first time hospital visitor with anxiety who was imagining every possible way it could go wrong. Absolutely none of my fears happened and it was way nicer than i ever imagined! Im kinda looking forward to the followup appointment in 2 weeks just so i can say thank you again and also have more money to buy some spares of those good headphones from the gift shop.

I hope everyone else out there who has to deal with medical disasters gets doctors just as nice as these ones!!!

[yllucsanad]

14 and 15 from the x files asks 😊

14. Favorite episode(s)? Why?

ok you didnt ask for nearly this much but ive always wanted to make this list anyways so here ya go!!

1x01 Pilot: I mean,,,, does this even need an explanation? 

1x03 Squeeze: amazing MOTW, “do you think i’m spooky?”, “it seems you were acting very territorial” “of course i was” this is episode thREE PEOPLE, the gray/green alien conversation lmaoooo

1x24 The Erlenmeyer Flask: rip deep throat, iconic “trust no one”, the alien plot seriously begins the thicken here

2x01 Little Green Men: they have a secret meeting how cute, Mulder recording everything for Scully um hello someone is in love

2x08 One Breath: Mulder TEARING apart the hospital and screaming at people for Scully, coma hand holding and crying in his apartment, the return of her necklace, “mulder? i had the strengths of your beliefs” 

2x13 Irresistible: like obviously donnie pfaster makes me uncomf but the way mulder tips up scully’s chin and makes her look at him and then she breaks down and FINALLY lets mulder see her as something besides hard as a rock

2x17 End Game: Scully taking charge and saving Mulder’s life, Mulder trading “Samantha” for Scully

3x04 Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose: this episode is very funny and i appreciate that in this dark x files universe, QUEEQUEG, “how do i die?” “you don’t”, “autoerotic asphyxiation” 

3x13 Syzygy: “sure fine whatever”, jealous scully, cigarette smoking scully, “shut up mulder”

3x17 Pusher: this ep is simply amazing in every way and we all know it

3x22 Quagmire: mulder hating the dog for no reason, RIP queequeg, the conversation on the rock

4x03 Home: this episode is gory and cool, the conversation on the bench, scully making noises to try to get the sheep to move lmao, mulder playing with the baseball and the tv and being sad that elvis died, and im a sucker for kevlar 

4x13 Never Again: Iconic is all i need to say

4x14 Memento Mori: yeah the cancer arc sucks and all but the msr is soo good in this like i can never get over it, the flowers

4x20 Small Potatoes: a great light hearted episode in which scully and “mulder” almost KISS

4x22 Elegy: this episode makes my list because it is so raw and emotional, because mulder gives scully no personal space ever, the bowling scene. scully’s session with the therapist

5x01/02 Redux & Redux II: “keep going fbi woman”, mulder never ceasing to cry about scully, “one sorry son of a bitch speaking”, all the kisses, the hand holding, mulder coming back “from the dead” because he had to see scully, the smile when he tells skinner her cancer is in remission

5x04 Detour: “kill me now”, the wine and cheese (poor scully she really tried), “i dont wanna wrestle”, “maybe if i rains sleeping bags you’ll get lucky”

5x05 The Post-Modern Prometheus: a happy motw ep is always great, b&w, the humor in this one is just golden, the dancing scene of course

5x10 Chinga: mulder without scully lmaooo, “marry me”, the pencils lmao

5x12 Bad Blood: do i even need to explain my love for this one?

5x19 Folie a Deux: a lot of people dont like this ep for some reason but i do, mulders split lip is Hawt, “one in five billion”, “folie a deux. a madness shared by two”

5x20 The End: fuck diana BUT uh, pic of mulder and scully hanging in the office, gibson impressing the fuck outta everyone, gibson exposing mulder about diana and scully, mulder fuckin up spender, the way scully holds mulder after the office fire

6x03 Triangle: the filming is so beautifully done, i love a good irl AU, the KISS i could write ESSAYS about this kiss, “i love you”

6x06 How the Ghosts Stole Christmas: mulder literally steals scully’s keys so she cant leave, they LITERALLY kill each other and then go exchange gifts after they said they wouldnt get each other anything i mean CMON

6x08 The Rain King: everyone assuming mulder and scully are a couple, “i do not gaze at scully”, scully’s speech to sheils

6x14 Monday: i just really really like this episode for some odd reason i cant put my finger on

6x15 Arcadia: again, another episode that i don’t feel the need to explain why i love it lol

6x18 Milagro: scully being fascinated by this guy, mulder being possessive jealous and worrisome, the hug when scully doesnt die, scully grabbing mulders arm, “in my book I’ve written that agent scully falls in love. but that’s obviously impossible. agent scully is already in love.”

6x19 The Unnatural: the ice cream thing, the ripping of the document, i do enjoy the story, fuckin mulder and his baseball obsession, the Scene (you know the one) hips before hands OO baby

6x21 Field Trip: a very cool episode, mulder telling scully that he ends up being right like 98.9% of the time and shes like o fuck, she thinks mulder is dead :’(, they literally trip together, the hand hold at the end

7x06 The Goldberg Variation: lots of good ol flirting, i enjoy the case, the sink lmaoooo, “i like baseball too”

7x14 Theef: “i’ll always keep you guessing”, mulder saving scully by pulling the pins out of the eyes, 

7x16 Chimera: “do you have a significant other?” “not in the widely understand definition of that term”, “mulder when you find me dead, my desiccated corpse propped up, staring lifelessly through the telescope at drunken frat boys peeing and vomiting in the gutter, just know that my last thoughts were of you, and how i’d like to kill you” “i’m sorry who is this”, and also mulder just being really great at his job seriously turns me on

7x17 all things: must i explain?

7x19 Hollywood A.D.: a Classic, scully showing tea leoni how to run i heels, mulder packs it to the left, skinman, bubble baths, the laughing and the hand holding at the end i am DECEASED

7x21 Je Souhaite: i def like the case in this one, scully’s entrance to the office in the beginning (hmm someones suspiciously happy), scully and her invisible body lol, mulders wish was fantastic, the whole last scene as well as “well i’m fairly happy. that’s something” atths ya know

7x22 Requiem: ok like even though its depressing as fuck in end i love this ep, scully visibly turned on by the fact that mulder assaulted someone, “let’s go waste some money”, “we could start sharing rooms”, mulder holding scully when she faints in the woods, mulder watching scully with the baby, the whole bed scene, the HUG cause mulder couldnt live without her if something happened, PERGNANt

and as far as season 8 goes….. every episode besides the ones with mulder are meh and lets pretend 9 didnt happen except i guess The Truth was good considering the circumstances

and i aint gon get into the revival ho boy

15. Favorite MSR moments?

most of them are listed above but other than those:

in firewalker when mulder holds scully’s face

when scully puts herself in contempt of court for mulder and then the HUG

BBQ SAUCE

in die hand when mulder rolls himself over scully when shots are firing

all the comfort and care in end game

they way scully cares for mulder when his father and mother die

haha mulders reaction when scully identifies the plane at the bottom of the water

the lace thing, the china pattern thing

scullys concern for mulder in paper hearts and the hug

mulders memoization of scully’s senior thesis

mulder showing off athletically for scully, scully enjoying it

in pine bluff variant when scully recognizes mulder by his bandaged fingers

in dreamland when scully says she would kiss mulder if he wasnt so ugly and the exchange of the sunflower seeds, also mulder knows her breakfast

jealous scully in alpha

the touchstone conversation

the millennium kiss

everytime mulder calls scully dana (beyond the sea, lazarus, the field where i died, trust no 1)

in tooms the first and only time scully calls mulder fox (i know he doesnt really like it but i still wish they did it again because it carries a big weight)

the decontamination shower

when scully cares for mulder when he is in shock

when scully shoots mulder and tends to his wound later

and we musnt forget fight the future and i want to believe

[thebeautifulshirtsbloger]

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[heartsoftruth]

Did you see a guy called "Dave O" who creates PR things in Hollywood was the one who created the Demi/Neymar thing? He literally says he got a call from someone who said "Neymar is in town, can you hook him with some celebrities." And he got Demi. This is important because ppl keep denying if Neymar is involved with any type of PR and this is proof that not only he is, but someone who works for him is doing the PR for him. Which is why I believe Neymar's celebrity side is very calculated.

Ehmm, but that quote was about Neymar’s visit to the US last summer when he met Justin, Jamie and Lewis. He probably just really wanted to meet those celebs - besides Jamie I think - and he knew that that Dave person could make that happen. 

I mean when I saw Demi was flying to the game with Dave I knew he probably made it happen, but make no mistake. Demi is also a big name in Brasil so it benefits her too to be seen with Ney. As far as I know it wasn’t a thing at all. Just her visiting the match, we got a few photos and that’s it. If it was anything more - even for PR - they would have had dinner at some oftenly papped place. 

Anonymous said:Seri isn’t a kid he is 26 years old. Anyway yes what happened to him is terrible but how disgusting if Nice first screw him up and then make it look like barca screwed him over😒 also PSG seriously they went after seri with a huge offer only to ruin barca’s chances i mean wtf dude u gotta a club to run stop shitting around😒😅

Oh I didnt know he was 26 y/o… I wouldnt have called him kid then haha, but you get what I mean xD 

Yeah it’s so so so sad :( And I’ve just read that Fernandez said Seri coming is totally ruled out… Ughhhh, poor guy… 

Well then I hope at least PSG buys him or something, because I don’t think he will be happy with Nice anymore. 

@helloandreeafashion said:Who you like more : Bruma or Carol?

Carol

Anonymous said:I did not know it was possible, but I hate more Neymar - Bruma fans than Trump.A fun fact about them is that they go to the WC so this is a sign that the have a relationship.right ? They can grow a little? And ending with all these “similarities"They got upset when Carol’s fans did that once.They was like ” They broke up , grow up kids, they don’t exist, this similarities are stupid “ And the same page that commented then , make new a loootttt of this things.

Wait whuttttt????

How can you hate the leader of the US - who’s face we have see everyday on the news together with some new scandal, shit he said, racist things he does or doenst comment on - less than some harmless Brumar fans?

[atticusriccii-blog]

           hello -- !!  i am so excited to be here. sorry i’m a little late on this, i was seeing wonder woman earlier (oh my gosh amazing blown away 11/10) anyways, i’m chloe ! (18, she/her, cst) and this is atticus my visionary bby boy who just wants to make films come out of his ass and win oscars. anyways, there’s a gist of him below the cut come plot!

He grew up in a pretty typical family in jersey. very italian, crammed a ton of people into one tiny house. he is the second oldest though. he has an older sister and a younger brother and sister as well. but they weren’t rich, and they weren’t dirt poor. there were moments of struggle but nothing they couldn’t come out of.

all that needs to be known i atti went to film school in LA, wrote an amazing script his professors praised, and next thing he knew it was being sold and producers were backing him and he was skipping class to be on the set of Donnie Darko, his first major motion picture. Well, it was an indie film, but still. big deal.

The movie was a hit as far as cheap cult classics go. with a budget of only 4.5 million, the movie ultimately made 7.3 million, which put atticus on the map of other directors. he was young, around 21 at the time, and he was labeled as ‘hollywood rising director to watch out for’

The fame really hit him hard. being talented and attractive gives your perks and atticus was sent on a downward spiral of partying, sex, and drugs. He wasn’t thinking about his next movie because he was too busy soaking in his fame. it was pretty bad.

His name was trashed and while there was no new movie to back up his talent, he was just a one hit wonder who would die before twenty-five because of his drug and alcohol problem. but his family swooped in. they took him away and wanted better for him.

atticus went to rehab, and he was motivated to get better. he didn’t want to be a one hit wonder. and in rehab, it was there that he wrote his second film, which was, believed it or not, darker. it touched one something his first film could never.

after coming out of rehab, he was shaky, and trying his best to stay clean. production began and he was working day and night putting all he had into this film. when it began in post-production, his pr team decided it was a good idea to pair him with someone, to make headlines again. one that had nothing to do with drugs, or rehab. so he began ‘dating’ carter isaacs. 

he wasn’t in a place to really date anyone but having a friend was nice, and he did love her on some level, but definitely not in the way she loved him. when it came time for the movie to come out, the couple ‘split’ and carter disappeared.

but in 2015, Requiem For a Dream came out and it was, again, a hit. Atticus was back and stronger than ever. He wanted that golden statue but it never came his way. It’s alright, it only made him want it more.

After the release of the film and the stress of being in the spotlight again, atticus fell off the wagon, and the press was on it fast. he was back to being a mess and the papers knew their favorite boy wouldnt last long. he hated everything they said about him.

so it was back to rehab a second time, really pounding it into his head. he didn’t spend as long there, but when he came out, he was confident, and ready for life’s cureballs.

recently, about a month ago, his third more Brick was released. it’s clever and dark and like a high school sherlock homes but better. that’s where he’s at now. mostly promoting and praying a statue comes his way now.

PERSONALITY

he’s one charming dude. if you were to meet his at a social gathering o premier, he’d be very attentive and just a overall lovely person to be around. This is now that he’s clean, that it. He was kind of a wild child party boy who was loud and wanted all the attention. He’s grown up now, and he’s an adult. very professional. He flirts when he feels it’s appropriate and holds back when it’s not. however, if you’re someone who is close to him, it’s rather hard since he’s so had working and he tends to have a one track mind where if he’s on a train of thought for a film or idea or smth he can’t talk to do anything and those tend to last hours or days. it’s a lost hope. he’s a peach tho i swear !

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

i already have ex pr stunt/gf, but i’ve got plenty more ideas

          past party buds

this is up to discussion. there are many ways this could have gone. they could have been partners in crime, or atti really could have fucked them up in some way. he’s was a blackout drunk and all the designer drugs he had a tendency to do really fucked over making ‘good’ choices. tarnished relationships / friendships are shit that i lived for. could also be they used to be party buds, and now that atticus is clean, they don’t really hang out any more and it’s causing strain on them. 

            worked together

i know many people have their film list already prepared, and that’s all cool. if you haven’t though, and you’d like to discuss the movies atticus has done, and them having possibly worked together, i’d love that. i’m really looking for people who would have worked on his most recent film, because they’d still be doing some promoting for it.

             *~ set me free ~*

promoting his second films, there were questions risen during interviews about his questionable sexuality. atti was a messy young man who got very close to all sorts of people. this plot would be something that happened years ago. someone who was more certain about themselves. times of sobriety and not so. a very, very gay, questionable relationship, that was very strong and intense and ultimately crashed and burned as intense as the passion that began in it. (*NOTE: this is pre-rehab atticus)

               the classics

i could go on for miles but i always want the basic plots, the best friends, the will they/wont they. the enemies. etc. i’m all open guys i just want all sorts of plots for my main boy over here!

[goldgirl1239]

What Happens With Long Running Shows???

Some come in with a wimper but go out with a bang. Some come in with a bang and go out with a whimper. Some (very few mind you) come in with a bang and stay that way till the very last shot. With that being said I ’m going to talk about the second ones in the list. The ones that come on with their pilot show and have you hooked or at least enough to tune back in the following week then WHAM you are glued to your seat for that hour every week. Hiatus’ drive you crazy, you look for every spoiler or every article written about said show and that honeymoon seems like it is never going to end. Then comes the 3rd season and the first show after hiatus and its not as wow bang as you are used too. Then the season progresses and they are some good episodes but the majority is so so or just fillers. Then before you know it we are having the winter finale and your like “wait it can’t be the finale, Im still waiting for it to get good.” We all know what I’m talking about. No matter how much of a loyal fan you are you have had this feeling. Lets examine what I think is the problem: 1. There is a beginning and an ending and the direction the writers want but after the beginning story gets told its kind of like getting the timed test done 45 minutes before the other students and you can’t start on the next portion until everyone is ready. What do we write about 2. The way the shows are now sliced up into 2 halfs every year is hard to write for and ends up being a big disappointment for the viewers. Oh I wish for the days that shows played through fall winter and early spring then the summer hiatus. Better writing and more easy rolling storylines. 3. After the 3rd year producers and main writers bring in fresh blood aka new asst. writers. Again it doesnt matter how great they write they have their own style and more times than not its totally different from the original writing 4. Sometimes writers find something or someone or a couple that is really popular with fans and they begin to write more to that person or relationship and by doing that other characters and stories get forgotten or really left behind 5. Lastly, writer’s like everyone in Hollywood wants to be popular. They want to be the popular show more than they want to tell a great story. It is like wanting to be in the click instead of being your own person even if your alone in doing it. The show that comes to my mind in writing this is Once Upon a Time. This show is a perfect example of following the crowd. The first 2 and ill even throw in 3 seasons were good. The characters had their own characteristics and personalities that we knew. The more you found out about each character you either loved them or hated them but YOU KNEW THEM. Once loved exploring the characters and what made them tick and they loved the villians having redemption arcs which was good and bad. First thing is that not everyone in your story needs a Redemption Arc. The villian just need to be the scary, in command and snarky. When everybody is running around throwing rainbows its BORING. Adam and Eddy I’m going to be honest you sold out for the easy money. Frozen was enormous Disney hit so Season 4 was Frozen. I loved Frozen, I loved watching it with my girls, i even loved to sing the songs but did I want it brought too Once NO NO NO. It was cheesy and well it was just cheesy and so the downhill slide started. Emma and Hook becoming an item was inevitable as much as I loved Neal (Swanfire Forever) I knew the beautiful leady lady would end up with the handsome leadimg man. No brainer! But why couldn’t you have left Hook the snarky, brewing villian he was with a good heart. Instead you turned him into a puppy who followed Emma around and played so nice it was sickening. The Hook that you loved to hate but then you couldnt help yourself but like him or understand him was gone forever. Don’t even get me started on Rumple aka Mr Gold the show needed him as the antagonist to the heros. Having moments of helping them out but being his dark bad self. What you did to him in yhe Queens of Darkness and then Dark one Swan was ridiculous and completely destroyed the Rumple or Mr Gold we knew. You abandoned stories for Snow White & Prince Charming and they became like the furniture just there AND Reginia that was just plain character assination. Good Reginia is BORING and the Evil Queen is cheesy she has turned into Fran Drescher. So the show is ending with a musical episode and a Captain Swan wedding. What could have been a great show started with a bang and will go out with characters we really dont know singing on screen and if you compare them to who they were when you first wrote them you wouldnt know them either.

[soullesscoyote]

All the asks

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?My process for naming fics is eitherA) a joke name because i can't help myselfB) or a name that just sounds like "yeah that's a fitting title name"B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?Plenty! I try to follow the rule "write what you know" in a way to convey maybe something I've experienced, but also use it to write what I don't know about.For example I have a lower middle class family, but to write a more well off family i base it on things I've seen and experienced when younger like those times we got home from the grocery store and that first day with a ton of food and i felt like i wouldnt have to worry about eating a ton of it, or even back when i was younger (7) with a loft bed and having all my stuff organized with a spot in my room had me feel really content with my life where i felt like i had everything i wanted and couldn't ask for more. I had a 3d puzzle of the inside of a frog, an ant farm, a hamster, a framed picture of a praying mantis, a very small binder of pokémon cards, a room painted green and at that age and time felt like my life was really together despite not knowing how to articulate it. It felt like my own personal space that i had control of so to write a well of family i try to write in things that give off a similar feeling of a well put together room except a entire house that way where everything feels like it has its place. If that makes sense.C: What character do you identify with most?In Marble Hornets, Jay Merrick who just wanted to help everyone despite how many time those people tried to kill or hurt him.In Voltron, Keith in terms of not always feeling like I belong in groups and sometimes struggling to understand myself. Also Hunk whos a very caring person with a big heart.In Be More Chill i relate to Jake where in freshman year of high school i worked really hard to be the best in my classes to a point that id cry from stress every night.Jeremy feeling unimportant and more like a background character with nothing really notable about him compared to everyone else.Brooke feeling constantly like she's second best to Chloe and people using her.Christine being unsure of what she wants in life as she nears the last year of high school where she feels like she needs to decide.Rich while unsquipped seeming like he hardly knows how to handle himself in social situations and seeming incredibly anxious without a squip also being a big nerd D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?Typically if its a musical depending on viewpoint i listen to songs with those characters in it.In other things its songs that give me a similar feeling to the thing i'm writing (for example i imagine things as color pallets so i try to match them with the colors another thing gives me. Or the corresponding emotion i feel/need to feel as I write a scene.E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?Starting From Square One? The sequel would be more of Rich adjusting to life without a squip and living a pretty happy life with Michael and them going about their lives be it them going to college and struggling or as adults with jobs and trying to figure themselves out during that since i kinda feel like life is constantly a thing of trying to figure yourself out.Out of the tons of Voltron Fics probably more on Keith being glara and the lives/background behind the galra species with how it affects keithIn hu it's hard to say. A lot of them would be hard to find a way to make sequels of but considering Starting From Square one is the only fic i managed make myself work on currently i wouldnt say its impossible to find/make sequels for any of those ficsF: Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic?For Be More Chill http://archiveofourown.org/works/11671890/chapters/26267448 Both because its from Michaels viewpoint and it definitely doesn't seem to go out of its way to make Jeremy a monster and make Michaels personality center around hsi panic attack like plenty fics do.G: Care to share a favorite crack fic?I'm not too big on crack fics because i personally love really long fics with character development. (crack fics are good, for me it's just my preference where most of the time i'm not in a huge mood for them) but i know this one has been p funny https://my.w.tt/UiNb/v4KNrRgajJ H: How would you describe your style?Id say i write in whatever sounds right in my mind while i'm reading to fit the mood of what i intend to portray. Its really hard to sayI: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?Already answeredJ: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].Starting from Square Ones Alternate ending would be it ending where Rich snaps at everyone and it would have a sequel of everyone in the squip squad meeting Rich in college after not seeing him for an entire year. They'd find who took online classes because he didn't want to see anyone and was still pissed and during that time he had gotten several jobs and was barely even supporting himself with how his dad doesnt care for him. (potentially where he may take up selling drugs) and everyone does try to apologize but it takes awhile for anyone to convince Rich they actually mean it.K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?In Starting From Square One there was a scrapped idea of everyone actually hating rich and him trying desperately to convince them it wasn't his fault he started the fire only when everyone finally does get proof from Jeremy who actually understands Rich's struggle because he had a squip longer Rich hasn't gone to school in well over a week and has goes missing because he's hiding from his dad. L: What's the weirdest AU you've ever come up with?I based one on a dream i had which was like a Xiaolin Showdown, meets high school au, meets almost one pieceLike if you touched these specific items they latched onto you and gave you abilities that typically corresponded to an animal or gave a animals trait to you like enhanced sense of smell, stronger legs for jumping, wings etc. It wasn't fully thought out or planned so it's a very vague idea.M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?Im writing bits and pieces of terraverse, its hard but i'm getting somewhere with it! There's others but they're like aus based off dreams that i'm yet to figure out how to explain or develop in a way they make sense.N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?All of them tbhO: How do you begin a story--with the plot, or the characters?Typically plot first and then i'll add characters to match the plotP: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an "architect" or a "gardener"? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)It's a little bit of bothI try to plan in advance but as i write Point A going to Pont B i do find things in the story that unfold as I go and then proceed to go to my planning to find a spot to mention it again later.For example i mainly planned on in Starting From Square One that Rich would have known Michaels older brother from when he was a kid but didnt know his last name therefore didn't know he and Michael were related and as I wrote more in my planning it sort of unfolded as I wrote and became me writing in that Michaels older brother dropped out of college because of how stressful it was and Rich gos to stay with him and that's when he finds out michael and him are brothers.Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?While writing if i decide suddenly I want to change something I take what i've already written of that version and paste it into a Google doc of scrapped ideas. That way if i can find a chance to implement them in another fic or other point in a chapter even if written differently i can have the general idea for what i may have intended to go off of.R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?None in particular but I feel like a little bit of everything I've read and written influences my writing since i always find something somebody may have written i want to implement in a fic.Not like their idea. But small things like reading people write about Michael's parents did influence me to include Michaels parents in my fic. Not the same way they did but it was something i read that had made me stop and realize.I never considered what some of these character's families and cousins and such are thinking as they may hear about this from another viewpoint like Michael’s, Jeremy’s, Rich's, Brooke’s, Chloe's, Jenna’s, or Christine's.S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?In voltron (before it became canon) i liked a trope that Keith isn't as angry as everyone makes him and actually is just really defensive and afraid of being seen as weak to everyone else because lance seems to constantly go to pick on him for things.In Be More Chill i stand by the Trope Jake is really smart just perhaps Ditzy and gets really excited over something and struggles to pay attention to the other details because of a long theory and research i did with all the extra curriculars jake did paired with his need to be the best. T: Any fandom tropes you can't stand?G o dIn Hollywood Undead stuff I always hated Aron being an unreasonable asshole by default.In Be More ChillJeremy's character being reduced to having been an asshole to Michael because it erases how they were friends for TWELVE YEARS and Jeremy in the bathroom did say "I missed you" TO MICHAEL. Or how Jeremy did have a lot of stressful shit happen to him minutes prior which made him get really defensive over the squip.Everytime people center Michaels personality around his panic attack i love 7 years to my life because they only go as far as Michael hates himself but never even delve into things like how Michael said to Jeremy how he wouldn't be glad to see him after he heard about his research on the squip Kinda like he anticipated Jeremy wouldn't be happy and Michael had a feeling Jeremy wouldn't outright be happy about it.(asks cut me off hold up)

[viralhottopics]

Viola Davis: Im pretty fabulous

Her extraordinary performance in the upcoming Fences has seen Viola Davis tipped for an Oscar. But her success has taken a huge amount of self-belief. She tells Alex Clark why it is only through demanding respect that you get the parts you are due

Its the run-up to Christmas and everybody in Los Angeles, which to a Brit feels unseasonably sun-drenched, is bemoaning the chilly weather; as we settle down in the Beverly Hills hotel, Viola Davis draws a warm jacket around her shoulders. Not that shes complaining: throughout our conversation, she is determinedly upbeat, celebratory, optimistic. She radiates a sense of excitement and satisfaction that, at 51, all the hard work is really beginning to pay off.

Five years ago, when Davis was playing the role of the maid Aibileen in The Help, for which she was nominated for an Academy Award, she told me that, as a dark-skinned actress in Hollywood, she had done what it was at my hand to do, even if that didnt give her as much scope for her talents and energies as she would have liked. Ive had to sink my teeth into a role that was probably a fried-chicken dinner and make it into a filet mignon.

Now, with film roles coming out of her ears, the lead in the TV drama How To Get Away with Murder and her own production company, she is opposite Denzel Washington in the film adaptation of August Wilsons Pulitzer prize-winning play Fences. (After our meeting, she begins 2017 by winning a Golden Globe for her performance, saying in her acceptance speech that the film Doesnt scream moneymaker, but it does scream art and it does scream heart.) Surely the role of Rose Maxson is a filet mignon.

She bursts out laughing. This is absolutely a filet mignon a medium-well filet mignon. And Davis clearly relishes every bite: her performance as a wife and mother in 1950s Pittsburgh, struggling at every turn to hold her family together, to absorb the rage and disappointment of her husband Troy and to protect her sons innocence and ambition, is electrifying so involving that it invokes an almost physical response. We watch as Rose is beguiled and charmed by the charismatic, storytelling Troy, unable to chide him for his excesses without dissolving into mirth, and as she seeks to intercede on others behalves to limit the damage his temper and pride cause. It takes almost the whole film, however, for Rose to voice her own feelings and desires.

That was the role of womanhood in the 50s, says Davis. You were an instrument for everyone elses joy except for your own. The 50s in America had the highest rate of alcoholism and depression. There were whole manuals out there that were being passed out about how to make your husband happy put on make-up when he walks through the door, after a long day of work, dont weigh him down with any of your problems, ask him about his problems, greet him with a smile, make sure the children are fed and theyre clean, his favourite meal is on the table, and nowhere in that manual is anything about her joy, and the centre of her happiness.

She has been here before, and with Washington; they are reprising the roles they played in the 2010 Broadway revival of the play, for which they both won Tony awards; and they are rejoined by Russell Hornsby and Mykelti Williamson as Troys son and brother respectively. Part of Wilsons 10-play Century Cycle, in which the playwright chronicled the experiences of African Americans decade by decade, Fences transition on to the big screen has taken so long because its author, who died in 2005, insisted that its director be black a simple demand revealingly hard to accomplish in Hollywood.

Now, Washington himself directs, and his key artistic choice is apparent the moment the film begins: he has preserved the works theatrical origins, with nearly all the action taking place in a confined domestic space, and dialogue ranging from quick-fire ensemble scenes to extended soliloquies. The effect is disconcerting we rarely see such unfiltered staginess on film but always riveting; there is not an inch of slack, a word wasted.

Davis herself has two show-stopping speeches, in which she first rails at life and at last attempts to make her peace with it. What was different about playing Rose this time around? She replies that she had been sitting with this narrative for so long and never quite got the ending until I did the movie. And I keep saying to myself that the reason I didnt get the end is because she is at a place that probably most of us as human beings never get to, and that is a place of forgiveness and grace. I think that most of us spend a lifetime holding on to the past, even when we feel like were letting go a bit.

Maid in Hollywood: a scene from The Help with Viola Davis as Aibileen Clark, and Bryce Dallas Howard and Ahna O Reilly. Photograph: Dale Robinette/DreamWorks

She holds close to the advice of psychiatrist Irvin D Yalom that one must give up all hope of a better past. Davis herself grew up in extreme poverty; she has spoken powerfully about the series of makeshift dwellings she, her parents and five siblings occupied in Rhode Island, about hunger and lack of sanitation, about her fathers violent abuse of her mother. The letting go seems to take two distinct but related forms: allowing herself to feel good about what she has achieved, and building platforms that will help broaden the possibilities for a new generation of actors, writers and directors of colour.

She cites her delight at seeing Shonda Rhimes, the producer behind Greys Anatomy, Scandal and How To Get Away with Murder, accepting a Norman Lear achievement award in Television last year. She said: I happily accept this award because I deserve it. I LOVE IT. Absolutely love it. Its the waking up and understanding that OK, you may not be the best person out there, but youve put in enough work to understand that you deserve what youve got, that that is what is at the end of hard work. The happily ever after comes after youve done the work. And to literally understand, especially as a woman, that a closed mouth doesnt get fed, youve got to ask for what you want and expect to get it.

I remark that its noticeable how often women play down their successes; how they will even deflect minor compliments on appearance. Why does she think that happens? I think tapping into ones power and ones potential is a very frightening thing, she replies. And for women its a very new thing. It is. I always used to feel that self-deprecation was an answer to humility that people would see me as a humble person the more I put myself down. And people do say that: Oh! I ran into so-and-so and they kept saying, Oh, my work in this really sucked, and they were great! I just thought it was so refreshing that they said that! And I often think to myself, what if someone says, You know what, Im confident, Im really happy about the work I did. I really felt like I gave it my best and it came out great, the same way men do. Why is that not seen as humble?

Motherhood has given me a different telescope to look at life: with husband Julius Tennon. Photograph: Tibrina Hobson/Getty Images

Her increasing ability to feel comfortable with her achievements is linked to an awareness of her emerging position as a figure of influence. The more Im pushed in a position of leadership and I know I have to be the mouthpiece for so many other people who cant speak for themselves, the more confidence Im gaining. And that extends to the way she views her own past and the more she shares her story. She explains: I can hear myself say, Oh yeah, I took the bus five hours just to get to the theatre, then took it five hours back, and Im listening to that, Im being an objective observer, and thinking to myself I did that? Its like looking at an old picture of yourself when you felt like you looked bad, and you go, Wow, I was fabulous! Thats how I feel about my life now that Im looking back at it, and Im like, Im pretty fabulous. I really am. Im pretty fabulous.

Back in 2011, when we talked about Daviss commitment largely via JuVee, the production company she founded with her husband, Julius Tennon to addressing the limited opportunities afforded people of colour by the entertainment industry, she expressed her hope we wouldnt be having the same conversation in five years time. Naturally, because challenging entrenched privilege takes time, we are, but it has shifted ground. Davis herself is scheduled to play the part of Harriet Tubman, who liberated slaves in the Civil War era, and to star in Steve McQueens Widows, a revisiting of Lynda LaPlantes TV series co-scripted by Gone Girls Gillian Flynn. Its not even a role that would be necessarily written for an African American, but not according to him. Hes like: Why not?

Davis brings up The Help, and says that although she loved making the film, she understands the criticisms levelled at it that women of colour were once again placed in the role of maids, and not portrayed as tapping into their anger as much as they could have. Tapping into all the things they could have been other than the maid. Partly, she thinks, that relates to the image of the black maid as a nurturer, a second mother, so that even within the movie, there are certain things that are not going to be explored, if it somehow messes up the memory of what the audience had, that perfect mother. She couldnt be angry. She couldnt be sexualised. Shes gotta stay that image that brings us comfort and joy knowing that we were loved and nothing more than that.

Davis loves the riposte to that one-dimensional figure provided by the character of Annalise Keating, the firecracker law professor, ambitious, potent and flawed, that she plays in How To Get Away with Murder. Its blowing the lid off everything that people say we should be, especially as a dark-skinned woman, that you cant be sexual, you cant be unlikable, you can be angry but with no vulnerability, you cant be damaged, you cant be smart. It blows the lid off all of it. And even if its not executed all the time in ways that people like, it doesnt matter. What matters is that shes out there. Thats it. Shes out there, shes on screen, shes making an impact.

In the 1950s women were an instrument for everyone elses joy except their own: Viola Davis with Denzel Washington in a scene from Fences. Photograph: David Lee/AP

Another fundamental has changed in the past five years; in 2011, she and Tennon adopted a baby, Genesis, who is even as we speak frolicking in a nearby hotel room. When Davis and I are done, her babysitters release the six-year-old to bound along the corridor and leap into her mothers arms, asking whether she can go and buy a swimming costume in the hotel boutique and head for the pool. Her mother observes that in such a luxurious joint, its a purchase that could easily come to a couple of hundred dollars, but concedes that theyll work something out (you imagine somebody might be despatched to Gap).

Davis combines motherhood which she says has changed her utterly, and given her a different telescope through which to see life with work by clever stratagems and good planning; often taking Genesis with her, only making one film a year, having a TV shooting schedule that allows her days off and free weekends. She claims to live by two mantras Im tired, and Im doing the best I can but she doesnt look remotely weary. And things might be about to get a whole lot busier. She was the first African American to win the outstanding lead actress in a drama series Emmy award for her role as Annalise Keating; alongside numerous other awards, she has hitherto been nominated for two Oscars for The Help and Doubt. But now her role as Rose Maxson is being spoken about as a cert for nomination and a very strong contender to win her an Academy Award come February. Has she allowed herself to think about it? She pauses, laughs, parries.

You know what I know about that? Because I dont know if thats going to happen or not. But what I will say about this is, and this is how I keep my perspective, whatever happens, Ive gotta go back to work. The carpets are going to be rolled up, the people are going to stop calling like that, and Ive gotta go back to work. And you cant bring that Oscar on a set, and that Oscar cant do the work for you. You gotta do it. Thats what Ill say.

Fences is released on 10 February

Read more: http://bit.ly/2iq9KWq

from Viola Davis: Im pretty fabulous

[viralhottopics]

#OscarsSoWhite Was Important But The Oscars Were Not

In todays social media driven, viral culture, its not uncommon for a singular story to dominate the news cycle, only to be completely forgotten about shortly thereafter. If you haven’t overdosed on flakka or been poisoned by lead, think back to a couple of weeks ago when Jada Pinkett-Smith and Spike Lee announced, via their Instagram accounts, that they wouldn’t be attending Sundays Academy Awards over the exclusively eggshell pigment of the nominees.

Thanks to social media, their boycott then became a movement with momentum. #OscarsSoWhite, the movements popularly elected Twitter banner, was trending for a matter of weeks which is basically the highest validation something can receive nowadays. Joining their call for more diversity in films were: black people tired of not being represented in films, black actors tired of being racially type casted, and white actors apparently tired of being over-represented.

The movement to boycott the Oscars got so popular that some called for Chris Rock (the man doesn’t need an introduction), to join the cause and step down as host. As a result, Cheryl Boone Isaacs, the President of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, issued a statement saying that she was heartbroken over the lack of diversity and that she would do everything in her power to fix it.

All of this and more, came to a head Sunday night at the ceremony. Leonardo DiCaprios prayers were answered and Chris Rock showed up, making the event a go. This was despite George Clooney among others, but namely George Clooney, being absent.

With his opening monologue, Rock wasted no time in addressing the racist elephant in the room. While his opening monologue was comedically brilliant, it will be remembered as the best opening monologue of all time because it summed up the current state of diversity and representation in the entertainment industry so well. Like much of Chris Rocks comedy, the genius of it lay in between the lines. Sure the punch lines slayed, but the subtexts made you really think.

ith his opening monologue, Rock wasted no time in addressing the racist elephant in the room.

In regards to the shows opening sequence, which included snippets from many of the years snubs, Rock said, Man, I counted at least 15 black people on that montage. Im here at the Academy Awards, otherwise known as the White peoples Choice Awards. In this choice line, Rock prophetically calls out the Academy for its after-the-fact attempts at diversity. I say it was prophetic because it just so happened that every commercial belonging to an Academy sponsor featured a mixed race or black family. However, the most painfully contrived example of pandering came at the end of the show, when Public Enemys played over the credits. My eyes were rolling so hard, I almost passed out.

After letting the initial shock, caused by directly calling the Oscars racist die, Rock pointed out the inherent irony of the #OscarsSoWhite movement by saying: Why are we protesting? The big question: Why this Oscars? Why this Oscars, you know? Its the 88th Academy Awards. Its the 88th Academy Awards, which means this whole no black nominees thing has happened at least 71 other times. O.K.? You gotta figure that it happened in the 50s, in the 60s you know, in the 60s, one of those years Sidney didnt put out a movie. Im sure there were no black nominees some of those years. Say 62 or 63, and black people did not protest. Why? Because we had real things to protest at the time, you know? We had real things to protest; you know, were too busy being raped and lynched to care about who won best cinematographer.

This is what makes Chris Rock a genius. His comedy operates on multiple levels. What hes saying, most clearly, is that the Oscars have never been diverse. But what hes really getting at is the systematic racism in Hollywood. Through further implication, hes also exposing the nearsightedness of people who don’t agree with the #OscarsSoWhite message. People in other decades never protested the obviously racist Oscar ceremonies, because they had other things on their plate like trying not to be killed. But that doesn’t make the Oscars any less racist.

That being said, the Oscars aren’t diverse because Hollywood doesn’t offer good roles to black actors on a regular basis. Not because the voters are racist. When he hilariously pointed out that he didn’t want to lose another job to Kevin Hart, the implication was that as two comedic black actors, theyre offered the same roles. It also says that there aren’t enough jobs in Hollywood for the both of them. He revisits this point later when he says that Jamie Foxx was so good in that Hollywood killed the real Ray Charles because they didn’t need two of these.

That being said, the Oscars aren’t diverse because Hollywood doesn’t offer good roles to black actors on a regular basis. Not because the voters are racist.

Rock then offered a caveat to the criticism of the Oscars by specifically addressing the people who started the movement. But what happened this year? What happened? People went mad. Spike got mad got mad, and Jada went mad, and Will went mad. Everybody went mad, you know? Jada got mad? Jada says she not coming, protesting. Im like aint she on a TV show? Jada is going to boycott the Oscars Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihannas panties. I wasnt invited. Oh, thats not an invitation I would turn down.

While he agrees with Jada and Spikes message, hes a comedian and cultural commentator, so hes paid to tell the whole truth, even when its unpopular. Jada is basically a television actress who is paid millions of dollars. Will, her husband, is an actor who has reaped the rewards of being the most bankable black actor in Hollywood not the most prolific. The Smiths are not a relatable family with relatable problems. Moreover, is also not exactly the movie to scream racism! over either. Its a PG-13 Sports drama not exactly Oscar material. That being said, Rock doesn’t mention Spike in any of this because was a great movie. But Spike Lee is wellSpike Lee. His films are too controversial, too real, to win Academy awards. Im not saying that its right but the Academy doesn’t often reward risk takers.

Rock then goes on by saying, Not everything is sexism. Not everything is racism. The Academys membership is mainly comprised of old, wrinkled, white men. So whats happening here isn’t exactly police brutality racism, its more, old-lady-clutching-her-purse racism. Its the summation of unconscious bias and the result of archaic perceptions of highbrow art.

This is what an organization that is totally out of touch with the public, looks like. This is what Rock is getting at when he points out that Hollywood is home to the nicest, most-liberal, white people; theyll vote for a black president, yet they wont hire black actors. Despite their liberal sensibilities, their whole way of thinking about entertainment has been shaped by an archaic system that deals in white stories. After all, the institution theyre part of still refers to movies as motion pictures.

This is what an organization that is totally out of touch with the public, looks like.

How many old people do you know saw How many old people you know of, know who the hell the N.W.A. are? As for yeah, its possible Oscar material, but its also a Netflix movie. Why the hell would the Academy of Motion pictures nominate a film thats made by the same company (Netflix) thats ravaging their industry, for anything? Oh, thats right, they wouldnt.

Despite the Oscars boycott, the general point of the #OscarsSoWhite movement is accurate. As Chris Rock puts it: We want opportunity. We want black actors to get the same opportunities as white actors.

It seems that the only way a black person can be nominated for something is by playing a mammy or a slave. While its truly fucked up, its nothing new, and blaming The Academy misses the point.

Who we should really be mad at, are the studios. The studios decide what gets made and what doesn’t. Theyre the ones who only want to make films dealing in the stalest of stereotypes. Theyre the ones who only want quality movies made with all black casts.

When Rock talked about Paul Giamatti playing someone who hates black people one year and playing someone who loves black people another, hes inferring something about the industry. He later says it out right: white actors get great roles, real roles, all the time. Black actors dont. They are confined to the archetypes and stereotypes created by the older generation.

Only in a Hollywood thats racist can an insane monologue about fucking fried chicken happen ina movie that won a bunch of Oscars (Only in a totally out of touch Hollywood could that god-forsaken movie about that white guy who saves the inner-city black kids from themselves, keep being made. You know the movie that Im talking about. The one with that white guy the black kids dont trust him at first, because of their rough upbringing and all that bullshit, so they treat him badly. But eventually he wins them over and they learn to trust him. He then teaches them about the beauty of learning or creative expression. He gets them out of the projects, they teach him how to dance. These movies are tired, embarrassing, and insulting.

However, the studios are only interested in making money, so they dont care about the cultural or societal repercussions that their trash movies are having on America. Theyve been doing it for so long that these stereotypes have become embedded in movie-watching language without most people even knowing it.

Its not an accident that we dont have an Asian American or Native American Ryan Gosling type of actor. To these old, white, wrinkled men, white is the norm. White culture and white people are considered the mainstream audience, which is where most of the money is to be made. Thats why the media has labeled Eddie Murphy and Kevin Hart, two of the biggest actor-comedians of all time, cross-over artists. As in, they successfully crossed over from the niche (black) market to the mainstream (white) market.

Getting mad at the Academy Awards is pointless. Yes, theyre celebrating their craft but its also an award show of made-up importance. All it is, is an event where beautiful people, who are already worshipped by the culture, further exacerbate their self-importance by giving each other golden statues of no inherent value. It only takes about $100 to make one of those creepy things. Giving them any more attention than that is a waste of time and energy.

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