#that��s the grin of a boy who spent TIME figuring out how to prevent this and is like “YES I knew this would come in handy”

[fallinallincurls]

Four Times Nate Embraces Hot Boy Summer And The One Time He Falls In Love

so birthday fics are apparently my thing now. this is for the lovely @tonyspep​ who is celebrating her birthday today!! i’m beyond thankful to have such an incredible, kind and sweet friend in my life who never gets tired of talking about fic ideas or life updates ever. everyday is better because of you. enjoy today!  all the love to you, g!!

because we were talking about how nate needs to have a hot boy summer, this became an idea of gina’s  which she graciously let me write for her and it’s one of my favorite so far! 

gif credit to @gravesryan​

hope you enjoy!! feedback is always appreciated! xx

word count: 9.4k

~~~~~

There is nothing quite like summer in Cole Harbour. The little town welcomes a fair share of tourists during the warm months, but the locals are the ones who bring life to the streets. Most of the days are spent enjoying the sun on the lake, catching up with old friends and creating memories to last a lifetime.

But arguably the most important part of summer in Cole Harbour is that two of the most well known hockey players return home after playing yet another season in the NHL.

Sidney had arrived in early June after the Penguins suffered another elimination in the first round at the hands of the New York Islanders. Despite the never ending pressure and emotions that had been weighing on him in Pittsburgh, most of those worries seemed to disappear the moment he got home.

But for Nate, his season came to an abrupt end a few weeks later when Vegas eliminated the Avalanche in the second round, preventing them from moving on any further. Again. The loss was heartbreaking and destroyed the entire team’s morale and hopes that this year was really going to be the one. As the star and face of the organization, Nate received a brunt of the criticism and overwhelming disappointment starting right at the post game interviews. There had never been a time where Nate wanted to go home so badly.

But this time, he swore the summer was going to be different for exactly one reason.

“You’re going to do what?” Sidney asks, not bothering to hide the shock in his voice. He tosses the ball for Sam to chase in his backyard before facing his close friend. Nate rolls his eyes for what feels like the millionth time since he got to Sid’s earlier to have a few beers and catch up.

“Fun! I’m going to have fun, Sid! Why does everyone look at me like I’m crazy?” Nate says in an exasperated tone, unable to believe how even his best friend thought the idea was ridiculous.

“Because you are? Just a little.” Sidney offers with a teasing smile before taking a sip of his beer at the same time Sam drops the ball at his feet. 

“Gabe and EJ said the same thing when I told them before we left Denver. Well, Gabe did more of the sensible talking while EJ just made fun of me the whole time. But neither of them think I can do it! And now you? Come on, Sid. Thought you would get it of all people.”

“Okay, you want to have fun? You can train by yourself this summer then.” Sidney replies with a smug grin, awaiting the reaction that is sure to follow within seconds. 

“What!? No! That is not what I meant.” Nate’s eyes go wide with panic and Sid is desperately trying to contain the laughs bubbling in his chest. “You can’t say shit like that, man. You gotta give me, like, at least a year to figure out the perfect person to train with. I have to-”

“Nate, I might not think you can have fun, but you do need to have a more laid back summer this year. And that,” He gestures to Nate as a whole, referencing his most recent flustered state and obvious distress. “is exactly why this hot summer thing is a good idea. Having a fantastic season like yours end the way it did, especially with all the expectations to win the Cup this year, is tough. Give yourself time to let up a little bit. Seriously.”

“I am. Just watch, Sid, I’m going to have the best hot boy summer, as EJ calls it, ever. I can relax and have fun. Trust me.” Nate says, almost trying to convince himself that what he’s saying is the truth. But as he takes another sip of his beer and watches Sid throw the ball with the same ease he always carries, he wonders if this is a reasonable idea. 

But he’s Nathan MacKinnon. Nothing’s impossible. And having fun certainly isn’t.

I.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Nate hasn’t seen Amber Hudson since he was fifteen. Not since he came home for Christmas during his sophomore year and found her in the kitchen with his older sister baking cookies. The flash of her kind smile and wavy blonde hair stuck with him all the way back to Shattuck, but he hasn’t seen her since then. It’s been years

But of course, he should have expected her to be here at Sarah’s engagement party. The one she specifically waited to hold until he was home for the summer so he would be able to attend. Amber happens to be one of his sister’s closest friends so her presence is no surprise.

Except Nate still isn’t ready to face his childhood crush in the backyard of his parents’ house during an occasion that celebrates someone important to both of them. 

Luckily, and maybe thankfully, he doesn’t have the opportunity to get too caught up in his own thoughts like he does before getting on the ice. Because while Sarah is rambling about something related to the wedding, she leads him right to the table of all her friends, god knows why, and he’s faced with the beauty that is Amber Hudson. 

A small rise of anger bubbles in his chest because he has a feeling Sarah knows exactly what she’s doing. It wasn’t a secret Nate had the biggest crush on her best friend when they were kids. In fact, the amount of embarrassing stories she could tell that always include Nate with rosy cheeks from blush and him stuttering over words in an effort to impress her friends is too many for his liking. 

Yet, here he is. At twenty-five years old and one of the best hockey players in the league, Nate knows he’s bound to make a fool of himself in front of this girl, again.

But as Sarah reintroduces everyone for good measure, pointing at each girl who then waves in response, his own words from the conversation with Sidney repeat in his mind.

Fun, I’m going to have fun.

And that’s all it takes for Nate to embrace the situation. This is hot boy summer after all and he isn’t going to let one girl he was in love with for years ruin it right from the start. 

Mustering up every ounce of confidence possible, he offers a kind smile and decides to make the best of this. Now’s the time to finally prove himself after all those years admiring her as his sister’s best friend.

“Hey,” Nate starts, claiming the spot right next to Amber and trying to focus on anything but the way her eyes sparkle or how she seems to carry a kind of grace with her that no one else does. He takes a sip of his beer, using the action to prolong the silence for a few seconds until he meets her expectant gaze. “I’m Nathan.”

It takes all of two embarrassing seconds and Amber’s sweet laugh for Nate to realize what he said. And who he said it to.

“You already know that, sorry. I’m an idiot. Forget I said anything.” He mumbles, already turning away to find his parents or Sarah or anyone to save him from this disaster.

But before he can turn away, a hand gently wraps around his wrist and pulls him back. Her smile is kind, but there’s a hint of playfulness hidden in the tilt of her lips. Nate feels his cheeks heating up even more under her gaze and tries to organize his thoughts so he doesn’t mess anything else up. 

“How could I forget who you are, Nate? You’re just as cute as I remember!”

“I wouldn’t say cute. There’s a lot of other adjectives to use.” Nate replies sheepishly, hoping Amber would get the hint. Except she keeps talking, either ignoring his efforts or further proving she’s right.

“How’s life been as one of the NHL’s biggest stars? You’ve come a long way since the last time we saw each other.” Amber says with genuine honesty and the words make butterflies erupt in his stomach. He knows the emotions are only present due to the reminiscence of the crush that existed forever ago, but he can’t stop the way his heart races. The fact she’s even having a conversation with him is more than he could have wished for when he was younger.

“Not bad. We had a pretty good season, but fell short again. It’s such a great group of guys though, so we’ll make it there.”

“I’m sure. Everyone here really loves watching you play. It’s kind of amazing how much this town loves you. And Sid of course.” 

Nate shrugs in response, trying to hide the smile that’s tugging at the corner of his lips by taking a sip of his beer again. He might not know much about relationships in general, but under the pretense of having fun, this seems to be going how he wants despite the awkward start.

Maybe he won’t be going home alone tonight after all.

“How’s Sarah been with the wedding planning? Have you been roped into any crazy schemes yet as a bridesmaid?” Nate asks with a laugh as Amber brushes her hair back behind her ear, brown eyes locking with his blue ones.

“Oh, trust me. More times than I can count.” Amber starts, leading him to a picnic table where they sit down together. Along with the wild stories of helping his sister get prepared for her big day, they catch each other up on the big moments in their lives over the last decade or so. Nate recounts being drafted to Colorado, a few highlights from the last few seasons and stories from spending the holidays at home. Amber recalls funny memories from college, her graduation and details about the job she’s currently at.

Hours pass and along with almost forgetting the real reason why he’s here, Nate feels at ease with arguably the prettiest girl he’s ever known. It seems impossible considering before now, every interaction with her involved ferocious rosy cheeks and tongue tied greetings. But he’s sure of himself this time, exuding confidence while embracing his promise of having fun.

Until the end of the night when he asks what he thinks is an inevitable question.

After the laughs, cheesy games and exchanges of congratulations over dinner come to an end, the guests slowly begin to leave. Sarah says goodbye to everyone, grateful for their time on such a special day. Nate watches his older sister in awe, as usual, and wonders when it’ll be his turn to bask in the joy of finding the love of his life, the one he wants to spend forever with.

He comes to terms with reality in an instant when he notices Sarah’s friends are all rising from the table to leave. The night is ending and despite still being right next to Amber’s side, Nate feels the opportunity slipping away.

So without another thought, he goes for it.

“Are you, uh, are you going home? You could come back to my place if you want?” 

Instantly, Amber’s bright laugh fills the air while her eyes twinkle with amusement. Pure confusion takes a grip on Nate’s thoughts, trying to figure out what he said to cause such a reaction. 

“Nate, you’re so sweet and if I was any other girl, I would’ve said yes in a heartbeat.” Amber starts, voice soft as she gently rests a hand on his bicep. He can already hear her next words before she says them, a simple rejection that he should’ve expected no matter how well the night went to his determination to have fun. “But even though you’re this really handsome, charming hockey player now, you’re still my best friend’s younger brother.”

“So?”

“You’re cute, really cute. You know that?”

“I am not cute. Literally no one says that about me.” Nate says, realizing the moment is slipping away and he’ll never get the girl. Even if she’s his childhood crush. 

“Well, I am because you’re Sarah’s little brother. And I like you, but not in the I-want-to-go-home-with-you way. I’m sorry. There’s plenty of girls out there just waiting for you and that question though. I can assure you that.”

Nate nods, understanding what she means and accepting his fate for right now. So his first attempt at embracing hot boy summer isn’t successful. He will have a million more chances in the coming months. But something felt different, hopeful, when he saw Amber again tonight.

“It was really nice seeing you again. Hopefully we bump into each other while you’re home. Otherwise, good luck next season and have fun. Always rooting for you.” Amber murmurs, leaning up to kiss his cheek before stepping back and waving. Nate waves back, watching with a heavy heart as she walks to his sister to say goodbye.

Are all his friends right? He really can’t do this?

As he rubs a hand over his face and takes a seat at an empty picnic table to wait for Sarah, Amber’s reminder to have fun silently echoes on repeat. 

Have fun. Have fun. Have fun.

II.

“You have a date.”

“I have a what?” Nate asks in disbelief, tucking the phone between his shoulder and cheek while trying to make his post workout smoothie. The simple statement is not what he expected at all when he picked up the incoming call from Erik. 

“A date, Nathan, with a girl named Holly. I figured you could use some help with your hot boy summer plan since I highly doubt it’s working, so you’re welcome. You have to pick her up at eight. She’s a good friend of mine so don’t mess this up.” Erik explains and Nate can picture the major eye roll that accompanies his words. 

Despite being one of the oldest players on the team, one of the few that was there when Nate arrived in Colorado, EJ is a menace more than anyone else he knows. Whether it’s constantly annoying him during warmups or pulling tricks like this, he is both one of Nate’s closest friends and the worst. 

“My hot boy summer is going just fine, thank you. And how do you know someone here? In Nova Scotia? Like, you’ve never been here before and are either in Minnesota, Denver or California so how can I trust that you really know a girl here?” No matter how hard he tries, Nate can’t hide the scepticism in his voice. There’s no way a teammate of his would know someone here to set him up with. Right?

“She works at Shelby’s.” Nate falls silent, dropping the chopped fruit into the blender and leaning back against the counter. That little cafe is one of the most popular in town and a place that Nate has stopped at countless times before. While lost in his own thoughts, EJ, however, laughs at how the line is quiet. “Told you. So eight tonight, okay? And remember, this is so you have fun so at least try to have a good time.”

“Shut up, old man. Your definition of having fun is antagonizing everyone else or spending absurd amounts of money on horses, so at least I’m doing better than that. Just send me her address and I’ll pick her up later.” Nate admits defeat, knowing that this won’t end until he agrees to the plan. He’s already racking his brain for last minute date ideas that would work with a girl he knows nothing about when he fires the last words back at EJ. “If this doesn’t end well, you owe me big time.”

“What are you gonna make me do? Try to convince Sid to use your gym? Or try to get you out of morning skate after you take a girl home? Neither of those things are going to happen, but keep dreaming.”

“Whatever. Thanks for the date I guess. You’ll get an update after I’m home again.” And with that, EJ chuckles through a goodbye before ending the call, leaving Nate standing in the kitchen reeling over the new information.

How is he supposed to go on this date? Eight o’clock is in like six hours. He has no idea what she likes, what he should wear, if he really trusts Erik and is more worried about the entire night being a waste than the possibility he might be going home with someone tonight. But through all the worrying and over the noise of the blender, Nate hears his teammates’ words repeat in his head.

This is so you have fun so at least try to have a good time.

So Nate decides on a nice Italian place, picks out an outfit that he hopes will impress Holly and tries to kill the rest of the day until he has to leave. The message on his phone containing her address and number seems to haunt him through every hour and he’s relieved to actually leave the house and pick her up. But the nerves of going on a blind date and knowing what’s at stake, his hot boy summer and ability to prove to everyone he can have fun, bubble up the moment he sees her.

Holly is beautiful, in that effortless, doesn’t try to be kind of way. And after the shock of realizing she somehow knows EJ of all people, he’s in awe of how she carries herself and is able to make his heart feel lighter with just her presence. Suddenly, he isn’t silently cursing Erik out for springing this crazy plan on him earlier today.

Except halfway through dinner, when Nate is enjoying himself and thinking how the night will end just how he wants it, Holly’s interest shifts in an entirely new direction. One that’s focused on Nate’s older, troublesome teammate.

“So, you’ve known Erik for how long? Eight years right?” Holly questions, leaning over the table ever so slightly as if she’s receiving top secret information about something she shouldn’t know. Her eyes sparkle with a new kind of curiosity and although Nate finds the sudden topic change a little odd, he goes with it.

“Going on nine which is crazy to think about. Still longer than I’d like.” Nate laughs, swirling the wine around his glass before taking a sip. He watches the smile on his date’s lips grow wider and can sense how the night is going to go. Usually the round of questioning he’s used to is about Sidney, but tonight, Holly has her focus set on the man who ironically set them up.

“Wow, that is a long time. How is he with the team? The same goofy, can’t-take-anything-serious type of guy? I’ve only known him for a few months now, but he really seems like my type.” 

“Your type?”

“Yeah, you know. Tall, handsome, dirty blonde, plays a sport. And I hate to say it, but the missing teeth really do work in his favor. Have you seen his smile?” Holly lists while a dreamy look crosses over her facial features. Nate almost spits his wine out, either from shock that the girl he’s on a date with is literally confessing her love for someone else or the how hilarious it is that someone actually finds EJ attractive. 

This is not how he saw the night going, that's for sure.

“Well, I mean, I have all those things minus the missing the teeth so doesn’t that make me your type?” Nate tries with a smirk, making an attempt to bring the conversation back to them and not EJ, who is probably at some expensive winery in Napa Valley waiting to hear about how this date failed miserably. 

“Hm, I guess so.” She smiles, meeting Nate’s gaze before continuing on. “But you’re young and cute so maybe that’s the difference. I don’t know. He probably doesn’t even consider me to be anything else but a friend even though I’d love more.” 

Nate shakes his head, both trying to suppress his mischievous smile and hide the sinking feeling in his chest. It’s definitely ironic that Holly ended up on a date with the wrong Avalanche player and Nate can’t help but laugh at the thought of telling Erik that this girl is in love with him since that’s all she wants to talk about. But at the same time, it’s another rejection, proof that he can’t loosen up and get a girl to come home with him. It shouldn’t be this hard. Nate knows this, but the simple task seems to be one of the greatest challenges.

“You know, I think Erik would love to hear all of this firsthand. You really should tell him.” The words tumble past Nate’s lips, the subconscious decision to bring the date to an end becoming apparent. Why should the time be wasted if this isn’t going anywhere?

“Really?” Holly asks with an unbelievable amount of hope, her eyes lighting up at the possibility of what Nate is hinting at. With a nod, he confirms her thoughts and prepares for the excitement that is bound to follow. If possible the smile blossoming on her face makes her even more beautiful which makes Nate feel a pang of longing that it won’t work out with her.

“Absolutely. He’s a simple guy and even if he’s a pest, he deserves someone like you. I don’t know what his offseason plans are exactly, but I’m sure he’s just waiting to hear this from you.”

“I like you. I’m sorry. This probably isn’t what you were expecting tonight.”

“You could say that.” Nate chuckles in response. That bashful smile of hers continues to grow as she rolls her eyes and Nate knows right then that she is perfect for Erik. He can’t explain why, but she is.

“But I hope we can stay friends. You’re really sweet and have a good heart. There’s a girl out there just waiting to find you.” She finishes, taking Nate by surprise and squeezing his hand across the table. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her he’s not looking for anything serious at the moment, hence the hot boy summer plan. But he stores her kind words away for when he needs them.

And later that night, after dropping Holly off at home, he shoots a text to EJ like he promised while kicking his shoes off in the entryway.

to the old man: thanks for setting the date up, bro. holly is really nice and can’t believe you know someone like her. and no, she didn’t come home with me because she spent the entire date asking me questions about you. so do what you want with that information

III.

“Man, what are we doing?” Nate wonders aloud, watching the sun dip below the horizon which paints the lake in a beautiful orange glow. He takes a sip from the beer in his hand while shooting a quick glance in JT’s direction.

Seeing his teammate on his doorstep early this morning took Nate by complete surprise. Even more so because JT should be in Chicago where he spends the offseason with his family. But after a quick explanation, the red head filled his friend in on this huge road trip he’s been on all summer. He���s already visited Tyson, of course, Cale and a handful of other players on the team before stopping to visit Nate. So the day has been spent catching up on the last few months of their lives and enjoying the warm weather on the lake.

Except now, Nate is realizing how lame that is. He’s young and in the prime of his life to have fun whenever possible. So why isn’t he?

“What do you mean? We’re chilling on your deck and drinking. That’s what we’re doing.” JT responds with what he thinks is the answer to his teammate’s question. But Nate shakes his head furiously and turns to face JT.

“No, no. I mean what are we doing? We’re twenty-something professional athletes, yet we’re sitting here like suburban dads or something. It’s ridiculous.” Nate says in exasperation, conveying his worry over such an odd realization. “Do you want to go out? I think we should go out.”

“Is this part of your hot boy summer plan? You need a wingman?” JT teases with a laugh and a look of pure shock crosses over Nate’s facial features. 

“How do you know about that? I never said anything to you about it.”

“Josty told me.” JT shrugs nonchalantly as if he doesn’t see the issue. But Nate rolls his eyes at the confession because of course Tyson would tell his best friend, it’s a known fact he can’t keep his mouth shut about anything especially when it comes to telling JT. “He said that Erik and Gabe filled him in on your mission to have fun this summer, but made him swear to secrecy.”

“Well, great. That means the whole team probably knows now, right?”  

“Maybe. Who knows with Tys. I’m down to go out, but only if you promise to bring a girl home tonight. I want to see this hot boy summer thing happen so I can brag about it to everyone else. And I don’t fully believe you can have fun.” Each word is said in a teasing tone and instigating a small challenge that Nate can’t back down from. 

“I can have fun. Everyone thinks I can’t, but just wait.” Nate fires back while rising from his seat on the deck, grinning at the thought that this time he might actually succeed and prove everyone wrong.

But so far, that isn’t how the night is going.

For a Friday night, the bar is a little quieter than usual. Not as overwhelmingly crowded or loud which Nate prefers. Despite the calmer atmosphere, and to both JT and Nate’s surprise, there are still plenty of girls to talk to and get to know before the fun has to come to an end. They’ve claimed seats next to each other at the bar, both nursing another drink each, when a smirk appears on JT’s face and he catches the other man’s attention.

“Hey,” He elbows Nate just slightly, interrupting the current conversation they were having. “What about her? You’ve got nothing to lose.” Nate follows his friend’s nod in the direction of the gorgeous girl who just took a seat at the very end of the bar. She seems to be alone and even from afar, without having said a word to her, she has a clear effect on him. He can feel the way his heart is racing just at the suggestion of going up to her.

“There’s no way, dude. She’s way out of my league.” Nate denies, trying to pry his eyes away from her but it’s no use. She catches his gaze for a few seconds and offers a smile that is full of nothing but kindness. And everything stops. He’s not anxiously turning the beer bottle around in circles anymore or getting caught up in his own thoughts. Instead, he’s trying to keep breathing while repeating the summer’s mantra in his head. 

Fun, I’m going to have fun.

“Not sure if you forgot, but you’re Nathan MacKinnon. Every girl wants you. Go get her.” 

“Fine. But you have to talk to the brunette who you’ve been eyeing up since we got here. And don’t play innocent, you know exactly what I’m talking about.” 

With a surge of sudden confidence, Nate leaves his astonished, but amused friend behind at the bar and walks right to the pretty girl who is still occupied by her own company. He pushes away all the memories of how every attempt to spend a night with someone has failed, miserably at best, and he hopes something about him will win her over.

Even if it’s his status as a hockey player which he hates to admit. Never in all his time playing has he used that to pick up a girl.

But hot boy summer is different.

“Hey,” Nate says softly, each word tender with emotions and apprehension. Her eyes meet his blue ones as another breathtaking smile tugs at the corners of her lips. “You seem like you’re lonely. Mind if I join you?”

“No, not at all.” She replies, gesturing to the open seat next to her that Nate happily claims. He waves the bartender down to order another drink for both him and the mystery girl he hopes to take home tonight. It isn’t until she’s sipping on another cocktail and looking at him in a way he recognizes all too well that she speaks up again. Nate tries to keep his goal in mind while preparing for the question he can see coming from miles away.

“You look familiar. Have we met before?”

“Nope. If we did, I’m sure I would’ve remembered someone so beautiful.” The pickup line is cheesy beyond belief and Nate can hardly comprehend why he said something like that to her. There’s something about her that sets her apart from others and he knows that the ordinary phrases aren’t going to work on her. But she just giggles, making his heart swell a little bit as she leans in and places a hand on his upper arm.

“I know what it is! You’re one of the really famous hockey players from around here. I remember that because my youngest brother attended a hockey school last summer and raved about the days you helped out. Between that and all the talk about you being a hometown boy, I should’ve known it was you.” She explains with a sparkle in her eye and pure enthusiasm in her smooth voice. And although he’s intrigued by her and her beauty, he has an idea of where this is going. “Nathan, right? Like Nathan MacKinnon?”

“Nate, actually. But yeah, that’s me.”

“I’m Sabrina. It’s nice to finally meet you.” She introduces herself, flashing an irresistible smile and Nate nods as they shake hands. Although he feels a little uneasy at her straightforward approach of addressing his career and the strong interest she seems to have in it, he can’t help but let curiosity get the best of him. He likes her, even if it’s just the idea of her, and that pushes Nate to continue the conversation.

“So what brings you here by yourself tonight?”

“It’s kind of a long story.” Sabrina admits, letting out a sigh while tracing the rim of her glass with one of her perfectly manicured nails. A look of despair crosses over her face for a split second before she meets Nate’s ocean blue eyes.

“I have time, trust me.” 

All night if needed.

But what Nate thinks is a kind offer in order for this gorgeous stranger to see his intentions are pure, ends up being a huge mistake. Turns out the reason Sabrina showed up to the bar by herself is because her boyfriend of three years recently dumped her. Over the phone. So after crying for days on end, pushing away all her friends and staying cooped up in her apartment since the incident happened, going out tonight was her first step to bouncing back. 

The next three hours are spent with Nate using all his patience to listen to everything Sabrina says even though all she’s doing, because he asked, is complaining about her ex-boyfriend and how horrible everything is. He tried getting JT to save him, but his friend is no longer at the bar,  probably on the dance floor with a girl and achieving what Nate was aiming to do earlier this evening.

Now, Nate is beyond exhausted and bored out of his mind although he feels bad for Sabrina. She is really pretty and deserves happiness, but he didn’t expect to become her shoulder to cry on tonight. Not when he was looking to take her home and finally say he’s having the summer he said he would.

So much for that idea.

“It just really sucks, you know? One minute, he’s the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and the next, we’re not even on speaking terms. I bet you wouldn’t treat me like that.” Sabrina continues talking, batting her eyelashes in a way that usually earns her a compliment or an invitation home.

“Yeah,” Nate mumbles, not fully in the moment anymore. 

As he’s finishing off a third drink and trying to figure out the most polite way to leave, he hears his teammate’s voice yell out over the noise that fills air.

“Nate! You ready, man?” JT is smiling like a maniac, happiness on display across his face. Nate immediately notices the brunette who is tucked into his side, wearing the same giddy expression. “This is Kate. You don’t mind if I take her back for the night, do you? Are you bringing her?” He references the girl next to him before nodding towards Sabrina who has gone quiet for the first time all night.

Nate shakes his head, saying the quickest goodbye of his life and follows JT and Kate out of the bar. Once the cool air hits him, he takes a deep breath in an effort not to focus on how much of a disaster the last few hours have been. JT opens his mouth as if to start a round of questioning to figure out what happened, especially because Nate is still alone and not fulfilling the promise he’s set for himself. But Nate beats him to it in order to avoid some of the embarrassment.

“Just- don’t say a word.” 

IV.

“I’m here! I’m here!” Nate calls out while rushing through the door of Andy’s gym at exactly six am. He usually isn't late, ever, but this morning he would’ve preferred the day off. The air is quiet except for the music playing through the numerous installed speakers and Nate is trying to mentally prepare himself for the early morning session until he rounds the corner and finds only a girl standing there.

“Who are you? Where’s Sid and Andy?”

“Hi Nate. I’m Y/N, the assistant who has been training with Andy this summer for academic credit at York University.” You introduce yourself with a sweet smile and extend your hand out towards Nate. He shakes it reluctantly, trying to figure out what is going on. “I’ll be leading the session today since Andy has other business to take care of. And last I checked, Sidney canceled at the last minute so it’s just you and me.”

Shock ripples over Nate as he processes everything you just said. Sidney never cancels and if he does, always lets him know ahead of time. And a session without Andy feels weird since it’s an extreme rarity in the last ten years Nate has been training here. Confusion is evident on his face, a look you’re trying not to giggle at, but there’s also the feeling of wild butterflies erupting in his stomach.

“But you don’t know the schedule. Or my past injuries to know what I have to take it easier on.” Nate lists off, panic setting in with the realization this is really happening. How can he trust some college student to run his workout? He doesn’t know anything about you and the sudden change is messing with his head. 

“All right here.” You reply, waving an iPad in the air for a few seconds. “Andy went over everything with me yesterday so I’d be prepared. You’ve got nothing to worry about.” A soft smile blossoms across your lips while your eyes meet his blue ones. For the first time since Nate arrived this morning, everything seems to stop.

For a few moments, he admires you. He’s seen his fair share of stunning girls in his life, but you’re different. Every part of you is strikingly beautiful in a way that steals his breath away. He can’t explain the way his heart is racing so fast he swears you can hear it or how an unfamiliar warmth rushes through his veins just from being in your presence. Even though your hair is tied up and you’re wearing shorts and a tank top that leaves little to the imagination, you look more gorgeous than he can even comprehend.

And Nate knows he’s in trouble.

But that’s when another thought crosses his mind. It is hot boy summer. Maybe he has been pretty unsuccessful in bringing any girl home up until this point, so what’s stopping him from keeping his promise and having fun with you? He’ll probably never see you again, especially since you’re a student who is most likely only here for the summer. In the end, he has nothing to lose. It’s a no brainer.

Except he realizes that how he’s already feeling about you is different. Which is strange. He’s not here to fall in love. Love and heartbreak is the last thing he wants right now, so he repeats the mantra in his head for the millionth time this summer.

Have fun. Have fun. Have fun.

“So, are you ready? Sid wanted a kind of light day today so we’re gonna stick with the original workout you two had planned.” Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts and he finds you waiting for his answer with a kind of patience he doesn’t deserve after his small outburst just moments earlier.

“Uh, yeah, yeah. That sounds good.” Nate murmurs with a bashful smile while getting in the correct mindset for an hour-long workout. He makes a mental note to call Sid later in order to show his disapproval of being left alone this morning, but otherwise he follows you through the gym while listening to the instructions for the first drill.

At the end, Nate is exhausted. A light workout to Sid is the equivalent to a normal person’s regular gym routine which means he was still pushed to the limits. Despite his doubts about not having Andy here, you amazed him by doing each exercise with him, seemingly without any struggle, and recalling the knowledge about what each movement will do in terms of benefitting him on the ice. 

That only fuels the emotions that are filling his chest with each passing second. The way he’s feeling right now is both new and familiar in an odd way. None of the other girls he’s met this summer have given him that giddiness or sense of peace like you do. He doesn’t know what it is about you, but he knows he can’t let you go just yet. But it takes until you’re packing up your bag and Nate finally stops drinking water, that he gets the nerve and courage to speak to you again.

“So what are you studying at York if this is for academic credit?” Nate asks, catching your attention. A grin that can only be compared to the sunshine lights up your face at his question. My god, how can someone be this perfect?

“Kinesiology and health science. My goal is to be an athletic trainer for professional athletes like you, which is why I’ve been here with Andy all summer. The program requires hands-on experience before graduating and there’s no better place to get that than here.” Each word is full of excitement that gives away how much you love what you’re doing. Nate is in awe of the obvious passion you have, making him want to know more about you.

“That’s awesome. How’s it been working with Andy?”

“A dream. This is exactly what I want to do and it’s been really cool learning about the job. Actually, this session with you was my first one completely on my own. And I think I did pretty well, not gonna lie.” “You were amazing. I’ll be telling Andy that I don’t need him anymore because I have you. And Sid can just fend for himself.” Nate laughs, cheeks heating up with blush at the second meaning of what he said. He sees the way your eyes drop in nervousness as you chuckle along with him, trying to hide your own blush from him.

“I like you, you know. Despite the fact you came running in here like a maniac earlier and acted as if the world was gonna end because I was here instead, you’re nice to be around.” You admit softly, standing to face Nate again. He’s wondering where you’ve been his whole life and unbeknownst to him, you’re thinking the same thing because something about this feels like everything is falling into place.

This is it. Just ask.

“I, uh, know this might sound a little weird considering we just met, but are you busy tonight? I’d like to take you out.” 

“Like on a date?”

“Like on a date. But if you’re not comfortable or don’t want to, I completely understand.” Nate confirms, letting out a tiny sigh of relief at how you don’t seem to be freaked out at all. The leap of faith might actually lead to something good, really good, and he can’t stop thinking about the possibility.

“No, I’d love to.” You reply, nothing but happiness radiating off of you.

“Perfect. Be ready by eight.” And just like that, Nate feels the entire summer turn around. He has the perfect idea for tonight and as he exchanges numbers with you before walking out to his car, he tries to ignore the way his heart soars and the anxiousness of getting everything right. Never in his life has he been this nervous for a first date.

But he’s this close to making his summer promise a reality. Hopefully in more ways than one.

When Nate sees you again later that night, dressed in a pretty navy sundress and looking prettier than ever, he’s speechless. Something has shifted since this morning and he knows it. He wants to take you home, for obvious reasons, but not in the way he’s been hoping for over the last few months.

“Do they start soon?” The cheerful question slips out of your mouth as you turn to look at Nate. You can’t get over how adorable and cozy he looks in his jeans, fitted t-shirt and a comfy flannel. It’s the total opposite of what he looked like at the gym earlier, but the sight of him still makes your heart race.

“Should be. 8:45, I think?” Nate responds with a smile, checking his watch for the time to find the hands hovering right over the correct numbers. “Any second now.”

His grand idea was taking you out to see fireworks on the lake. Nothing extravagant or impressive, but if this is a first date of many, he wants it to be memorable. And there’s nothing more magical than watching the large bursts of color explode over the lake. Nate wanted the night to be special and there didn’t seem to be anything more perfect than this.

“Oh! There’s one!” You exclaim, pointing towards the water as the first firework shoots into the sky before a beautiful shimmering of purple is on display. The happiness on your face makes Nate’s heart soar and he wants to see that gorgeous smile of yours for days to come. He knows this isn’t how he should be thinking or feeling about a summer fling, but the realization that he could have more than that with you seems to have a grip on his emotions.

Because maybe that’s what he really does want.

The show is too short for both yours and Nate’s liking. While the crowd admires each different firework that bursts into pretty colors, you find yourself leaning into Nate, his chest to your back. His strong arms wrap around your body in record time to keep you close while the two of you hold a conversation that’s mixed with sweet giggles.

For the first time this summer, and arguably in his life, Nate feels at peace. Who knew having a beautiful girl in his arms on a warm night watching fireworks would have made him this happy? He doesn’t want this moment to come to an end which makes the question he’s been waiting to ask for months after several failed attempts slip out of his mouth without another thought.

“Would you, uh, want to come back to my place? For a few drinks?” 

You turn around to face him, the last bright colors of the grand finale illuminating his handsome features in the best way. A smile instantly spreads across your lips as you nod in response. This morning when Andy assigned you to Nate’s workout, you hadn’t expected the butterflies or feeling of comfort that he brings to be so present. But now, you never want to let him go.

So under the hot boy summer expectations, he takes you home for one night and tries to ignore the ache in his chest and familiarity that strangely feels like fate.

+1

One night turned into two years.

Now, you’re rolling over in bed to snuggle into your boyfriend’s side for just a moment longer, enjoying the warmth and comfort that’s always present in the early mornings. Especially with Nate by your side. His arms tighten around you subconsciously and when you look up to sneak a glance at him, your breath is stolen away by the sight. A slight dusting of stubble covers his cheeks and his blonde hair is a tousled, yet adorable mess atop his head. Every worry and expectation that usually weighs on his shoulders has disappeared, leaving him in a peaceful state which you cherish more than anything. He somehow manages to look handsome as ever even when he’s deep asleep with you in his embrace.

You take the time to admire him in the sunlight that’s seeping in through the curtains. This part of your life, waking up next to the love of your life, still hasn’t fully set in and is something you almost can’t believe you’re lucky enough to experience. 

Neither of you knew what the future had in store for you that night when Nate brought you home for the first time, but there’s nowhere else you’d rather be than right here. Nate knew it the first time he saw you that you were something special and going to change his life and he was right. Your love blossomed from that first date into days spent laughing, sharing beautiful moments in new places, exchanging kisses full of unbelievable emotion and spending every bit of available time together. Even with the distance and crazy schedules in the beginning, you both committed to making this work because nothing had made more sense than being together.

You might’ve thanked Andy and Sidney several times for canceling that day. Not that Nate knows that. Otherwise, you would’ve missed your person without even knowing and life would’ve ended up entirely different. Who would’ve guessed?

After taking a deep breath and committing this moment to memory, you press a kiss to Nate’s bare chest and playfully push his broad shoulder until his eyes flutter open. It takes a few mere seconds for you to slip out of bed, but your boyfriend’s hand catches your wrist just to pull you back onto the comfortable mattress.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Nate mumbles with a lazy smile, his blue eyes meeting yours for a second before he closes them again. His voice is rough with sleep, reason enough for you to crawl back under the covers with him.

But you can’t. A training schedule is a training schedule.

“For a run with you. So let’s go, bubs. Get up, we have four miles to cover today.”

“Four miles? Babe,” Nate huffs out, glancing over his shoulder at the alarm clock on the bedside table. “At five in the morning? You’re insane.”

“You signed up for this.” The teasing tone in your words isn’t overlooked by your boyfriend who rolls his eyes despite a smile stretching across his lips. 

“When I started dating you? Yeah, but the only downside to dating an athletic trainer is having to wake up at absurd times to work out when all I want to do is cuddle with you.” Nate replies cheekily, one large hand slipping underneath the warm fabric of his flannel that covers the matching bralette and panties you’re wearing.

The same flannel that he wore when watching those fireworks with you two years ago.

Over time, the piece of clothing has somehow become yours even though Nate has no idea exactly when that happened. Not that he cares one bit because he adores seeing you in his clothes, especially this particular oversized shirt that has become a reminder of your love together.

“Nate, we don’t have time to-” You start, trying to ignore the look of wonder in his blue eyes. But it’s no use. And who are you to complain about spending the morning in bed with your boyfriend? 

“I say we do.” And before you can argue again, he pulls you down into his chest while wrapping the blankets around the two of you. “You’re not going anywhere this early looking like that. I’ll run eight miles next time if I get to stay right here with you.”

There’s nothing you can say that will change his mind. Not when his eyebrows arch in a challenge and a mischievous grin lights up his facial features or when he places one, two, three kisses to your forehead. You melt into his embrace, resting your head against his chest again while he rubs circles onto your back.

A comfortable silence settles over the room and even though you’re trying to think of how to convince Nate to just go on the usual morning run, you can’t help but cherish the quiet moment. Any time spent together is precious with both of your busy schedules. So despite how Nate shouldn’t be cuddling up with you right now, the overwhelming love that envelops you keeps you in place.

“You owe me now, you know.”

“Oh, I know. And I won’t forget it. But not sure what you were expecting after waking me up at the crack of dawn and you’re wearing this shirt.” He points out bashfully, gaze meeting yours as he tugs at the hem of the flannel. “And don’t tell me you’d rather be running than getting extra cuddles. Because we both know the answer to that one.”

The sweet laugh of yours that Nate swears he would do anything in the world to hear forever slips past your mouth while leaning up to kiss the underside of his jaw. “Sure, blame the shirt and not how you just don’t want to get up and do anything.” You mumble, each word teasing him further. 

Nate laughs along and doesn’t protest because maybe you’re right just a little bit. If he’s honest, he’d trade anything to be tangled up with you in bed during the sleepy first moments of the morning. He’s grown to love this part of his life so he takes advantage any time he can. Even if that means missing a training session. It’s all worth it for you.

Sleep is seconds away from overtaking your body again when Nate speaks up, breaking through the drowsiness that you let yourself enjoy since the planned run apparently isn’t happening. But his voice is so soft that you miss what he says.

“Hm?” You hum, hiking a leg over his hip and moving to look up at him. His irresistible smile is on display, cheeks rosy with blush and that familiar twinkle in his eyes that appears only for you. 

“Did I ever tell you what I was doing the summer we met?” Nate repeats and even though it’s just a question, you hear the subtle tone of uncertainty in his words. You press a kiss to his chest and give a tiny reassuring squeeze around his waist, before holding his gaze as a silent go ahead. He almost forgets what he’s going to say when you look at him like that. Like your whole world is right in front of you, every ounce of your adoration focused on him. 

“No? Besides training and hanging out with Sid, your offseason pretty much looks the same every year.” You reply, brows furrowing in both confusion and curiosity. Your boyfriend shakes his head, strands of his messy blonde hair falling over his forehead. Instinctively, you reach up to run your fingers through his hair which Nate finds immediate comfort in.

Right then, you’re struck by everything that he is. Sure, he's the Nathan MacKinnon. But to you, he’s just the boy who’s stolen your heart and found a place in your life that feels like he’s always belonged there. Your home, your rock, your love. 

“Don’t make fun of me,” He warns with a playful look and a kiss to the tip of your nose. “but I was having a hot boy summer.”

“You had a hot boy summer? Okay, bubs, sure. Who’s idea was that?”

“Ugh, please don’t be like everyone else. Mine actually, although EJ technically coined it with that name. And I did have a hot boy summer, thank you very much. Things just might’ve not been going the way I thought and then I met you.”

“You met me?”

“Yup. Never in my life did I think the girl I’d fall in love with was going to be holding my workout. But after a summer of complete failures because, shockingly, I couldn’t get a single girl to come home with me, you turned it all around. Suddenly, I wasn’t just hoping for one night with you. I wanted a lifetime and that was an entirely new thought for me.” Nate explains honestly, each word holding an unbelievable amount of emotion.

“Oh, bubs,” It’s only a whisper, but pure love and the sense of home fills Nate’s chest. You cup his cheek and gently run your thumb over his smooth skin, a silent show of your affection. He nuzzles against your touch while forming the next sentence in his mind. 

“I’m only saying this now because you’re the most special person in my life. Like it might've taken me too long to figure out I was looking for the wrong thing, but I found you. And you’re it for me. I swear I’m the luckiest man alive just because you love me. Nothing, absolutely nothing, compares to you and despite the stupid plan I was trying to follow that summer, it brought me to you so that’s the biggest win in my book.”

“Nathan,” You pull back and shoot him a look of amusement and shock. “Are you proposing right now?” 

“No, no, not yet. One day. I’m just, I don’t know, overwhelmed this morning. I love you and even though I tell you all the time, it never feels like enough.” Nate’s eyes soften with the confession as he holds you even closer to his body. He never wants to let you go.

“I love you too.” The simple phrase is full of meaning and makes Nate beam with an unmatched happiness. You press your lips against his in a tender, soft yet passionate kiss that makes the rest of the world fall away. Nothing else matters in this moment except for the love you have for each other.

It doesn’t take long for the kiss to break and you both to settle into comfortable positions once again. Gentle touches are exchanged along with a slew of little pecks. Peace and comfort fill the room, reminding you that this is exactly where you belong.

Just before you drift off again, cheek squished against Nate’s shoulder with his arms wrapped around your body, you say one last thing which leaves the hockey player you adore with a chuckle.

“Can’t believe you were having a hot boy summer when we met. Didn’t know you could have that kind of fun. Happy a few of your friends convinced you though because look at us now.” A quiet, content sigh escapes while Nate tries to think of a good comeback but decides to drop it. “Eight miles tomorrow, yeah?”

“Eight miles tomorrow. Unless we just stay in bed again. That’s allowed, you know.” Nate chuckles, brushing your hair back to kiss your temple and admiring you in the morning sunlight. Who would’ve thought such a stupid plan would bring him the love of his life?

tagging some friends/mutuals who might be interested:

@tonyspep @miracleonice87 @hockeyunits @avsfans95 @musiclove-12 @barzysreputation @je-ne-regrette-rien @pebellemare @ilyasorokinn @broadstflyers @breezymichelle99 @zuks @islescanes @honeybearbarzal @ya-pucking-nerd @ch-ristiane @blueskrugs @cherrybarzy @beauvibaby @ims0golden @sourbarzal @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69​

[miraculous-ladybug-et-chat-noir]

Overwhelming

Request: No

Pairing: Rose Lavillant x Reader

Prompt: The reader is struggling with self-deprecating thoughts and an overwhelming sadness that insists no one loves them. Rose is there to ensure them that that is not true. They are very loved, by her.

“Sure there are people out there who love you, I do.”

Warning(s): TW: self-deprecating thoughts, angst, the reader is not being very kind to themselves

A/N: I will not be including any physical self-harm in this fic, at this point the reader is merely hating who they are but not harming themselves physically. Also, note that this is only a fic, someone professing their love won’t magically fix everything, but it does help to know someone is rooting for you Xx. If you ever need to talk, my inbox is always open.

(Not my GIF)

(Y/N)’s all-consuming thoughts were clouding their judgments from the moment they woke up. It was a subtle flutter of anxiety circulating in their chest. A sudden doubt was invoked seemingly overnight. Though that wouldn’t be accurate. There was always that cloud in their mind telling them that something wasn’t right, but they could never figure out what it was. It just happened to be that particular day that hit them the hardest.

They woke with that sense of dread that had developed over time, only they felt it tenfold. They had the overwhelming need to cry. Cry over what? Nothing, but also everything. It was so overwhelming living their life and after days of dragging on without the sweet relief of letting everything out, their feelings were starting to overflow like a river after heavy rain. Yet they refused to allow the tears to stream down their cheeks. No matter what their heart was feeling, they wouldn’t let anyone know what they were going through. Why would they want to bother anyone with their pity party? It’s not like they’d care anyway.

So (Y/N) forced themselves out of bed and dragged themselves to the bathroom to ready themselves for the day. They spent some time staring at themselves in the mirror. Taking notice of the bags under their eyes. The stress was clearly written all over their face. They forced a smile, trying to convince themselves that they were okay. ‘Just one more day,’ they promised, ‘One more day and then you can be the sad sack of shit that you really are.’ It was a routine, forcing themselves to bore through life.

Once they were finally ready for school, they forced that smile back on their face and proceeded out the door. They decided to walk to school rather than burden their mother with the task of driving them to school, though she had persisted. It was merely her obligation as a mother to care for them. They blasted music through their earbuds on the way, drowning out the world around them. For a moment they felt peace, it was just the music blasting in their ears and the worries and doubts were drowned out. That is until they got to school.

Here is where the real test would begin. It was rather easy to convince their parents they were okay. It was a quick “good morning” and a “see you later,” so (Y/N) did not need to worry about them asking any questions. However, now they were at school where even people you never talked to would press their noses into your business. (Y/N) had kind of hoped they’d be late to avoid talking to their friends, not that they didn’t like their friends, no, they loved them. But… they couldn’t help the guilt and dread at seeing them. Maybe they didn’t want to see them, and they were just too nice to actually say anything. Maybe it’d just be easier if they just stopped talking to them, stopped burdening them with their presence.

“Hey (Y/N)!” Marinette greeted happily.

What (Y/N) would give to have her constant good mood, “hey,” They waved with a strained smile.

“We were thinking of hanging out after school, care to join?” Alya slung her arm over their shoulder.

(Y/N) looked from Marinette to Alya, did they really want to hang out with them? Or were they just trying to be nice?

“I don’t know if I can, I’ll let you know, okay?” (Y/N) subtly shrugged out from under Alya’s arm.

“No problem, hopefully, you can,” Marinette grinned.

“Yeah, hopefully,” (Y/N) agreed halfheartedly.

“Marinette,” Alya singsonged teasingly, “Look at what Adrien is wearing!” She smirked when she noticed the blond boy walk in sporting the blue scarf that Marinette had knit for him. Marinette’s cheeks flushed red and her face turned to panic.

“Go say hi!” Alya urged.

“I-I can’t!” Marinette shook her head, “Come with me! Please?” She pleaded.

Alya sighed, “sooner or later you’ll need to speak to him by yourself,” despite her words, she trailed after her best friend. Alya glanced back at (Y/N), “coming?”

“Uh, no, I’ll be fine,” They brushed off, “I have to get something out of my locker,” They lied.

“Okay, see you in class,” Alya smiled and waved.

(Y/N) waved back and once Alya was no longer looking at them, their hand dropped and their shoulders dropped. They shuffled toward their locker even though they didn’t need to. Their mind was too occupied, on autopilot rather than actually focusing on where they were going. How would they get out of hanging out later? Why shouldn’t they go have fun? ‘They only invited you to be nice,’ They thought. Was it a genuine invite? Or was it out of obligation? (Y/N) leaned against their locker. They slowly sunk until they were sitting. They ignored the people around them.

It’d probably be best if they just disappeared. Who would miss them?

“(Y/N)?” A soft voice spoke nearby.

(Y/N) looked up, startled by the sudden appearance of Rose. “Sorry, am I in your way?” (Y/N) moved to get up and make room for Rose.

“No, silly. I just wanted to talk to you,” Rose beamed.

“Oh…” (Y/N) wasn’t sure what to say.

“I couldn’t help but notice… Are you okay?” Rose sat next to them, concern etched on her delicate features.

And there was the million-dollar question. ‘Are you okay?’ (Y/N) couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out. No. No, they were not okay.

Rose’s brows furrowed, even more, the tears slipping down (Y/N)’s cheeks didn’t go unnoticed. “(Y/N)?” Rose spoke softly.

(Y/N) shook their head. They furiously wiped away their tears, suddenly angry at themselves for allowing themselves to cry, especially in front of sweet innocent Rose. Rose was like a ray of sunshine, she was like a warm spring day. Rose was perfect. She shouldn’t be worrying over someone like (Y/N). “I-I don’t-” Their voice cracked. They couldn’t speak. The more they tried, the more they began to sob uncontrollably. It was a wonder no one called the authorities on them and had them admitted to an asylum.

Rose pulled them into her arms, allowing them to cry into her chest. Her heart broke seeing someone she loved cry so brokenly. How long had they felt like this? What if this could have been prevented? If only she had asked before, maybe (Y/N) wouldn’t be this upset.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Rose murmured softly. She pressed a kiss to the top of (Y/N)’s head, “I’ve got you.”

(Y/N) took in a shuddering breath. This was embarrassing. How could they burden Rose with their issues? “S-sor-sorry,” They hiccuped out.

“Sorry? What for?” Rose lifted (Y/N)’s face to look into their eyes. She wiped away their tears as they fell.

“M-me,” (Y/N) swallowed around the lump in their throat.

“(Y/N), you have nothing to be sorry for.” Rose lightly brushed their (H/C) hair behind their ear.

“O-of co-course I do! You-you shouldn’t be bur-burdened by th-this,” (Y/N) furiously wiped away their tears, ashamed of the meltdown they were having, at school no less.

“(Y/N), listen to me,” Rose forced them to look into her eyes again, “You are not a burden.”

“B-”

“No! I won’t hear you say otherwise!” Rose snapped. The fury in her eyes spoke volumes. “You are not a burden.” She repeated.

(Y/N) looked from her determined eyes to her set jaw. They’ve never seen such insistence in her before. “Then why do I feel this way?” They spoke softly.

Rose sighed and pulled them in for another hug, “honestly? I don’t know… but you are an amazing person, (Y/N). Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life.”

(Y/N) scoffed, “Yeah, sure.”

Rose frowned and lightly slapped their arm, “I’m serious.”

“Yeah, so am I,” (Y/N) sucked in a deep breath, steadying the shakiness in their voice. “I can’t help but feel like everyone hates me. Almost as much as I do.” They whispered.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Lots of people love you!” Rose rubbed their arm soothingly. It hurt hearing such hateful remarks coming from their lips.

(Y/N) shook their head, “I just feel like they’re all pretending or just tolerating me. No one loves me.”

“Sure there are people out there who love you!” Rose bit her lip nervously, “I do.”

(Y/N) looked at her in disbelief. No one who is as perfect as Rose could ever love them… Right?

Rose gave them a nervous smile. She shrugged, “It’s probably not a good time to tell you, but I do. I love you, (Y/F/N).”

Okay, maybe it wasn’t impossible after all, “I love you too, Rose.”

[chasing-classics]

Tell Me You Still Want It- Coco Cruz x Reader (Smut)

Pairing: Johnny ‘’Coco’’ Cruz x Reader

Warning(s): Smut, angst, language, unprotected sex

Summary: After your breakup, you and Coco are feeling bitter. Everything changes one night during a party, where the reason why you two broke up is revealed. Smut ensues.

 You set down the bottles of beers for the boys, ignoring the wolf whistles and feeling of several eyes on you. The club was holding some sort of celebration, for what you didn’t know. What you did know is Bishop asked if you could help EZ with bartending and setting up, given the amount of people who currently flooded the clubhouse and yard. The fact that it was the middle of July and the night air was hot and humid didn’t make things any more enjoyable. You were left with the decision to either wear a tank top and shorts or die of heatstroke. You questioned if the latter would’ve been better as one of the prospects from another charter whistled at you.

 ‘’Fucking savages,’’ you scoffed, earning a deep chuckle from EZ.

 ‘’He’s pissed, you know,’’ EZ grinned, nodding his head over to the direction of the pool table.

 You glanced, seeing Coco nervously tap his foot, going through his pack of cigarettes as his hawkish eyes zeroed in on you. You shook your head, the corners of your mouth turning up slightly. ‘’It’s not his place to be pissed. He ended things, I’m just doing what I get paid to do,’’ you replied, wiping down the counter and ensuring your station looked presentable.

‘’He loves you, y/n. He’s just going through things,’’ EZ offered, taking the clean shot glasses out.

You shrugged his words off. ‘’Should’ve thought of that before he pissed away three years of our lives.’’ EZ wisely didn’t say anything. He just placed a comforting hand on your shoulder and patted you before leaving to get more cases of beer.

 ‘’Hey mami, can I get three shots for my sponsor and his brothers?’’ a prospect called to you.

 You fought the urge to roll your eyes, biting down on your lip to prevent yourself from telling the youngblood to go fuck himself. You opted to just force a smile, throwing your hair back and turning around to get more shot glasses. You could feel his eyes on your backside when you bent down and it was then you really missed Coco. Had you two still been together, none of this shit would fly. Despite him not being the most muscular of the Mayans, he made up for it with his temper and his ability to land a punch to anyone’s face before they even knew what hit them, literally.

‘’Here you go,’’ you handed the guy his shots, visibly cringing when his hand brushed against yours.

 ‘’Goddamn you’re fucking beautiful,’’ his eyes lingered on your chest. It took everything in you not to deck him. Your eyes briefly glanced in Coco’s direction, only for you to become crestfallen when one of Vicky’s girls sat down beside him, him lighting her cigarette as her tits were practically pushed against his face. You ignored the feeling of your heart breaking in your chest as you glanced at the prospect who was now clearly imagining what you looked like with your clothes off. He wasn’t bad looking, you quickly decided. And if Coco could be friendly with the blonde-haired bimbo, you could afford to let a prospect between your legs for one night.

 You smiled, leaning across the counter as your eyes traced the numerous tattoos on his arms. ‘’You don’t give up easily, do you?’’ He had one dimple, you quickly noticed as he grinned at you. He was handsome enough.

 ‘’It’s not everyday I meet a fine ass woman like yourself, querida,’’ he shrugged. You smirked at his cheesiness. ‘’So? What do I need to do to convince you to let me in those panties of yours?’’ He was blunt, awkwardly blunt, but you respected his straightforward attitude to a certain extent. You leaned in further, your breasts pushed up teasingly much to the prospect’s delight. He leaned in slightly as well, to the point you could smell the mix of beer and cologne on him.

 ‘’Bold of you to assume I’m wearing panties,’’ you whispered in his ear, eyes zeroing in on Coco once more. You smirked when you saw he was already staring, clenching his beer in his hand. You slowly licked the side of the prospect’s neck, tracing the tattoo that was embedded in the tan skin, closing your eyes in triumph when you heard a bottle break and the sound of the chair scraping against the floor.

 The poor prospect didn’t even know what hit him. Hell, you nearly got whiplash as the prospect was shoved to the floor and Coco dragged you to his dorm. The door slammed shut and you winced at thee way the entire room seemed to shake from the noise. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up as your ex glared heatedly at you.

 ‘’Take off your fucking clothes, or I rip them off,’’ Johnny seethed.

 Stupidly, you scoffed in disbelief. You weren’t able to take one step forward when he shoved you backwards onto the bed. In flash, the side of your face was pressed down into the mattress. You weren’t scared until you felt the blade of Coco’s pocketknife at your lower back.

 ‘’J-Johnny don’t-!’’ you yelped when he tore the flimsy top, leaving your back exposed.

 The humid air from earlier suddenly became ice cold as you laid beneath your ex-boyfriend, who you could feel burning your exposed skin into his memory. Specifically, the elegant lettering on your lower back that served as a constant reminder that you were undeniably his. You shivered as his rough hands traced his name on your skin, shifting a little due to your nipples hardening. His hands were quick to yank down your shorts and the growl that left his lips was not lost on you; you hadn’t been lying to the prospect about not wearing panties tonight.

 ‘’Fucking slut,’’ Coco growled, one hand tangling itself in your hair while the other busied itself with loosening his belt.

 ‘’Johnny,’’ you whimpered, half-heartedly attempting to close your legs to preserve some modesty. Those efforts were in vain when Coco shoved one leg between yours and roughly grinded his jean-covered knee against your crotch.

 ‘’You were gonna let that fucking prospect, that fucking puto, into my pussy,’’ he hissed in your ear as his belt buckle clinked in the background.

 ‘’We broke up, Johnny,’’ you managed to bite out.

 ‘’Yeah, we had a break, only for you to move on not even a week later,’’ he abruptly stopped his movements, allowing you to turn your head so you could maintain eye contact with him.

 ‘’What did you expect me to do, Coco? God, you’re such a hypocrite! You had some fake blonde on your lap the entire night and you expect me wait around like some bitch in heat for you? Fuck that and fuck you Johnny Cruz. You ended shit, you did this,’’ you all but roared, now standing up in all your glory and staring him down.

 Coco gulped, his brows furrowed and a look of pain crossed those dark eyes of his. His muscles tensed for a second, only for him to shakily exhale as he looked down at you.

 ‘’I ended shit because I panicked,’’ he huffed, the anger slowly evaporating.

 ‘’Panicked over what?’’ you asked, shoulders still tense in case his temper flared up again.

 ‘’I saw the test, y/n. I know,’’ Coco sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

 Your eyes bugged out and the air momentarily left your lungs for a split second.

 ‘’Why didn’t you tell me you thought you were pregnant?’’ Johnny asked and the look in his eyes devastated you.

 It was your turn to sigh, sitting back down on the bed, not even caring that you were still completely naked. You looked back up at your Old Man.

 ‘’I figured kids weren’t an option with you. We already have Leticia, and you never hid the fact that you didn’t want more kids. When I was late, I panicked. But when it came out negative I figured there wasn’t anything to tell you. I figured you’d just be relieved, and I. . .I wasn’t, Johnny,’’ you tried to keep your voice calm, despite the last bit hitting a nerve within you.

 You loved Letty like she was your own flesh and blood. You loved her father more than life itself. In the beginning of your relationship, you were confident that life with just the three of you would be more than enough. However, when Adelita became pregnant and you spent more time with the children of Los Olvidados, specifically when you saw how Coco was with Minnie, your heart ached for a baby with the man you loved. You’d be lying if you had said you were relieved when the test came out ‘’negative’’; you had been heartbroken.

 Johnny knelt down so that he was looking up at you, his rough but strong hand cupping your cheek.

 ‘’You wanted a baby with me?’’ he asked in the softest voice he could manage.

 Tears gathered in the corners of your eyes as you slowly nodded your head. ‘’I love you Johnny. I thought I’d be fine not having kids, but everything changed. I wanted to have a baby with you. But I knew. . .I-I knew you wouldn’t want-,’’ you sniffled as your words trailed off.

 Coco was quick to wrap his arms around your nude body. ‘’I’m so sorry, nena. I was just so angry, I thought you were hiding shit, I’m sorry,’’ he whispered into your hair. His words immediately calmed you, soothing the emotional wounds that he had left. You felt him kiss the top of your head. You each pulled away to look up into each other’s eyes. His eyes analyzed you carefully, his thumb stroking your bottom lip.

 ‘’You’re mine, querida. I fucking love you so much. Nothing would make me happier than seeing you having my kid,’’ his words shocked your entire being, but in the best way possible.

 ‘’Tell me you still want it,’’ his voice sent shivers down to your core.

 His other hand traveled up your side and cupped your right breast, fingers playing with your nipple.

 ‘’I want it,’’ you whispered as your own hands began to take off his cut.

 His lips pressed slow kisses across your jawline before turning their attention to your lips. ‘’No. Tell me exactly what you want, mami,’’ he whispered as his hand gently held the back of your head as the other’s teasing of your nipple became rougher. You let out short, breathy pants as his hand left your breast and made itself comfortable between your legs.

 ‘’J-Johnny,’’ you whimpered as two of his long digits suddenly entered you and began a brutal pace.

 ‘’Say it, mi amor. I’ll give it to you,’’ he grunted, licking the side of your neck as his fingers thrusted in and out of your tight canal. The sound of his fingers pounding away at you bounced off the walls.

 ‘’I want to have your baby, please Johnny. I need you inside me,’’ you cried, holding onto his shoulders as your pussy clenched around his digits.

 You practically sobbed when he pulled his hand away from you, but it was quickly silenced as Coco made you taste yourself when he shoved his fingers in your mouth. You could see the primal desire in his eyes and your pussy was drenched at the though of what he was going to do to you.

 ‘’I want you kneeling, hands holding onto the headboard,’’ he whispered in your ear, smacking your ass cheek to get you to hurry.

 In any other instance you would’ve sucked him off, but the week and a half of no sex left both of you desperate for one another. Your heart raced in your chest as you got into position for your Old Man, feeling extremely vulnerable despite having been with him for the past three years. This was different. Despite the roughness and almost sinfulness of it all, you knew this was different. You loved Johnny with all of your heart, and this was his way of giving everything to you, his way of letting you know he loved and believed in the two of you enough to bring that love into the world in human form.

 ‘’You ready, nena?’’ his voice brought you out of your thoughts.

 ‘’Don’t make me wait any longer, papi,’’ you whispered, your entire body heating up as his hands gripped your hips and you felt the tip of his cock at your entrance.

 Your body lurched forward as he slammed his entire length up into you while dragging your hips down. He filled you entirely with that first thrust and your cries only spurred him on. No matter how many times Coco took you or how roughly he did so, you were always so tight around his member. His thick manhood nearly pulled your body with him as he thrusted his hips wildly. You held onto the metal headboard for dear life, your lips parted as you moaned and whimpered.

 ‘’Can’t fucking wait to fill you up,’’ Coco grunted as one hand encircled your neck. Not enough to choke you, but enough to feel the way he sent your pulse racing as he fucked into you.

 Coco watched the way his angry cock disappeared into your tight folds, the way he stretched your core and how soaking wet you were. He watched the tattoo of his name on your lower back and how perfect you looked taking him. He imagined how you’d look carrying his kid, breasts full and heavy and looking like a goddess. He had never wanted anything more in his life, and he knew you were the only woman he could ever want that with.

 He pressed a kiss to your shoulder, his breath hitting your skin as his thrusts sped up. The hand on your hip made its’ way to your core and his index finger began rubbing at your sensitive clit.

 ‘’Papi,’’ you moaned, hanging your head as it became all too much to bare. You felt so full, it was almost too much. Your tits bounced with every thrust and the way you were kneeling allowed him to hit the deepest parts of you. His hold on your throat tightened slightly as he pounded away at you. You heard him groan behind you, causing you to shiver.

 ‘’Cum for me, mi amor,’’ he whispered, jaw clenched as he kept his own release at bay. His eyes rapidly alternating between the way your ass bounced from his cock to the sight of your cunt tightening around his dick.

 Your release hit you like a freight train and you convulsed against Coco. You were still dazed and lost in the waves of your release when Coco moved you so that you were now laying on your back, legs tossed over his shoulders as he chased his own release. All you could do was stare up at him as he fucked you, jaw in his firm but loving hand, whimpering at the way his skin slapped against yours.

 ‘’Fuck, take it baby. Take it,’’ he growled, pressing a hand to your lower abdomen as his cock twitched from inside you. The combination of your needy expression, the way your pussy gripped him, and the thought of him knocking you up is what did it. You both gasped when his release filled your sore pussy, tears of ecstasy rolling down your flushed cheeks. You moaned as the warmth of Coco’s cum spread inside of you, sating your pussy.

 Coco panted, pressing his forehead against your own, slowly thrusting inside you so that you milked him of his cum. He kissed you softly, your hands lazily rubbing up and down his back.

 ‘’I love you, y/n. I’m not good at this whole love shit, but I know I love you. I’m not leaving,’’ his voice pulled you from your thoughts, the two of you still intertwined and his dick still inside of you.

 ‘’I love you too, Johnny, I want this.’’ He nodded his head, meeting your eyes. The tiniest of smiles on his face.

 ‘’They say if I hit it from the back we’ll have a boy,’’ he smirked, your cheeks burning when you felt him slowly begin to harden.

 ‘’Johnny!’’ you yelped as he began pulling you to lay face down.

 ‘’My bad.’’

[procrastinatorimagines]

I Want Us Part 2

Fandom: SVU / Chicago PD

Series: I Want Us

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 (Final)

Pairing: Carisi x Reader

Warning/s: mentions of kidnapping

Word Count: 1,513

Summary:  When a child abduction case crosses state lines in New York, Intelligence flies out to meet the Special Victims Unit and track down the missing boy. With the clock ticking, both units decide to mix up partners in order to combine their knowledge of the case with knowledge of New York City, pairing Intelligence’s newest member Y/N with Detective Carisi. Soon these new partners find themselves staking out a potential location for their suspect, getting to know each other to pass the time.

Tags: @inlovewith3​ //

“Chicago or New York, a stakeout is stakeout,” you yawned, checking your watch through tired eyes. It was coming up to 2 am and while you wanted nothing more than to be asleep, all your intel pointed to O’Connell conducting his business after midnight.

Carisi couldn’t agree more, sat next to you in the drivers seat as you watched bar O’Connell reportedly owned. The place was dark, scaffolding to one side of newspaper covered doors. Apparently, apparently this old run down building was his newest investment, and you’d thought it was a good a place as any to conduct private business, especially the kind involving a missing child that an entire city was out looking for. 

Voight and Benson had agreed, you and Carisi had found yourselves parked just down the road, undercover car largely obscured by a hedge and fence. Hours combing through files at his desk had cumulated into this, swapping intel between both units as you all tried to figure out and navigate your new temporary partnerships.

“What is this guy, a vampire or something?” Carisi half joked, half complained. You were both wearing your vests, but had since ditched your police jackets, the heat making both of you more tired that you’d like. The night had brought little relief from the Summer sun that had been beating down all day, the leaves on the hedge barely conveying any signs of a breeze. 

“Maybe I was wrong about this,” you admitted after a moment, watching yet another car that wasn’t O’Connell drive down the street and into the distance. None had stopped outside the bar, no one had even walked close to it except an elderly couple on the other side of the street.

Carisi glanced your way for a long moment, watching as you worried your lip as you thought about Logan. You didn’t know what was going through his mind, but he’d been torn away from his entire life by a man he barely knew, and you didn’t want to think about what would happen if you didn’t get him back tonight.

“You trust your gut?” Carisi asked, the question giving you pause. Gut instinct had always been something Voight valued in his Intelligence Unit, you had to trust yourself and those around you if you were going to make it through the day, and catch the bad guy. 

“I do,” you told him with conviction. With limited information and limited time, you could afford the luxury of spending days checking out each of O’Connell’s potential locations, it was now or never, and every fiber of your being was telling you that this was the place.

“Well okay,” Carisi replied, “then we stay put. The rest of our units are checking out other possible spots he might show tonight, we’ll get him.” He gave you a reassuring smile and reached into the bag by his feat, pulling out a tupperware box.

You had to ask. “How can you be so confident? I mean the Special Victims Unit, you guys do this kind of thing all the time, I’m not sure I could remain as optimistic as you.” He chuckled at that, offering you what looked like home made cannoli from the box as he thought over your question. You thanked him, devouring the sweet treat a little too eagerly, it tasted great and you hadn’t eaten in hours.

“I have faith, without it I don’t know if I’d have been able to do it for as long as I have,” he answered honestly, “what we do makes a difference, protecting those who need it the most and making the world a little safer, you just need to think about the ones you’ve saved, not the ones you haven’t.”

“But these cases... I mean we deal with the worst people, but you deal with the worst of the worst,” you continued. All the cases in Intelligence that stuck with you were like the cases SVU dealt with all the time, but despite the years he’d spent doing these cases, Carisi still had such a light and hope about him.

Antonio was your partner, and friend, you’d take a bullet for him in a heartbeat, but you’d seen what years on the job had done to him. The divorce, the drugs... it weighed on him, you could see it in his eyes. It had obviously occurred to you that Intelligence wasn’t your average unit by any means, but this different perspective was more refreshing that you expected.

“We also catch the worst of the worst, most of the time,” Carisi countered and you grinned. You hadn’t really thought about it like that, helping yourself to some more food. He regarded you for a second before adding: “you haven’t been a detective long have you?”

You shrugged, “couple of years, moved out of uniform as quickly as I could though, barely got the promotion before Voight offered me a spot in his unit.” You thought back to those early days, how excited you’d been to be offered the job, everyone knew about Intelligence and its reputation, you’d jumped at the chance to be a part of the unit and hadn’t looked back since. 

“Give it some time, you’ll find the right mentality you need to process these kinds of cases,” Carisi assured you, eyes flicking back to the deserted, half lit street. You could tell he was just as worried and determined as you were to save Logan, but he also had a calm about him right then that you really wished you could master.

“These are amazing by the way,” you told him, cannoli in hand as you tried to steer the conversation away from the serious edge it had acquired, “did you make them?” 

He smiled, eyes lighting up a little. “Yeah I did, family recipe. I like to make them on long stakeouts, keeps the blood sugar high and the spirits up.”

“Well I am going to have to cozy up to your family then if you all cook like this,” you laughed, thinking about your own family, and then thinking about Logan’s as the laughter died.

“So what about you, you cook?” Carisi asked and you pulled yourself out of your worried thoughts.

“Me? Nah, not so much. I mean, I used to, but I never seem to find the time anymore,” you admitted. Working in Intelligence was pretty demanding, worth it, but still, there was only so much take out a person should eat, and you’d definitely surpassed that limit getting back from work after all those late nights. 

“Order some of your pie pizzas instead?” He teased and you feigned dramatic insult.

“Oh really? You had to go there?” You laughed, “keep your paper pizzas alright, Chicago knows what it’s doing.” Carisi shook his head and you knew it was an argument neither of you would concede, but you’d found yourself getting pretty comfortable in the car. 

“Forgive me if I don’t take the word of someone who only once got a connecting flight through here, have you ever actually had proper New York pizza? Because I’ve had Chicago’s attempt,” he pointed out, causing you to pause with your mouth half open, knowing that you didn’t have anyway to dispute that.

“I- shut up,” you replied like a middle schooler and soon you were both laughing. Carisi was easy to talk to, not just with his clarity about the job, but his welcoming personality too. 

“You should try it before you go back to Chicago, after we wrap this case,” he suggested and you offered a little shrug to say you’d think about it just as another car was driving down the road. 

You were instantly alert as you noticed the car beginning to slow, both you and Carisi switching gears into police mode as the car pulled up outside of the bar. Gotcha.

You waited with bated breath, one hand resting on the handle of your door while the other inched towards your thigh holster. Carisi radioed in a potential sighting, both ready to go at a moments notice as three figures emerged from the car. Two taller, male, the other quite clearly a child. 

While the dimly lit street prevented you both from making a clear ID, the plates on the car matched the ones seen leaving JFK. You and Carisi nodded to each other, this was it. Carisi confirmed the sighting and you were ordered to hold your position unless absolutely necessary, with Voight placing pointed emphasis on your name as he relayed the instructions.

You clenched your jaw, hating waiting as they all went to the entrance of the bar, knocking before being let it. There were other people inside, maybe O’Connell himself. Part of you wanted to go in right now, finish it, but you didn’t know how many people were inside, or how armed they were. Waiting for back up was the only option for now, so you reluctantly sat tight.

“We’ll get him,” Carisi insisted, noticing your tension, just as ready to spring into action as you were.

[jjk-biased]

park jimin x reader

genre: angst, lil' fluff if you squint hard enough lmfao

word count: 2k words of big sad bros

synopsis: befriending the ever-shy boy park jimin had its ups and downs but you were there for him through everything.

masterlist

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

It was supposed to end on a somewhat lighter note. Laughter should’ve rang through the room by now from your remark, or at least a chuckle should’ve been heard from his lips as he denies your claim. He should’ve continued eating his pastries or at least change the topic to the song currently playing in Belle Vie.

There shouldn’t be silence. You shouldn’t hear the pitter patter of the rain outside from the cafe you’re in.

Anything but this.

You could still remember meeting his eyes. There he was, meekly hiding himself from the corner of the room to shield himself from the noise of your classmates. He was alone and it was as if he wanted it to stay that way.

You weren’t sure what was captivating about him. Was it the way his eyes told a different story? Was it how adorable he was as he avoided your stare when you approached him? Was it the small, unsure smile he returned when you looked at him?

You’d never know. But you were happy to be the first one to approach him.

“Hi! I’m Y/N.”

“O-oh… uhm… h-hello,” He trailed off, once again looking at anything but you.

You unintentionally chuckled, somehow frightening this shy boy more, and continued, “Can I ask for your name?”

“I-I’m sorry… I’m Park Jimin.”

“Say Park Jimin… interested in going to the small cafe down the street?”

That was the start of an unlikely friendship between the ever-friendly Y/N and the resident cutie Jimin.

From a few meetings to being stuck by the hip, you two sure became a great duo. But Jimin still had reservations about himself, a nobody, and you, the ever-cheerful person who’d befriend anyone. You would remember Jimin always asking you why you hung out with him. He would list reasons why you were better off without him trailing behind you like a puppy.

“Because I like being friends with you silly!”

And you could see the storm in his eyes fade away just from that remark.

“Wanna go to the Hope Dance Studio oday?”

“I’ll just watch you dance, Jimin, and you owe me tea from Belle Vie.”

You two spent most of your days together and would often bond on your love for music. You discovered a new Jimin through dancing—a Jimin who forgot his stage fright and shyness everytime a beat plays. You loved this side of Jimin. It’s who he is. A dancer, born to perform on stage, yet held back by the timid persona he always went by.

Admittedly, you were secretly glad he was confident enough to show it to you. Only you.

Aside from the dance studio, you two were more than often seen in the small cafe by the school named Belle Vie. It was a cozy cafe that hosted a few stressed students or passerbys who wanted to stop for pastries. It was where you two always hung out after every school day.

As your highschool years went by, you began to lie low from the “popular” people. The famous Y/N who befriended anyone was still friendly, but you decided it was time to stick to those who will be there for you.

That was Jimin. You stuck by him as you went through countless breakdowns, stresses, and heartbreaks.

“You should forget that dork, Y/N! He was a player from the start. If you want, we’ll go egg his house soon because he deserves that shit,” Jimin’s eye twitched as he gripped the macaron in his hand rather harshly.

The two of you were once again in Belle Vie, though this time you were down in the dumps because your asshole of a boyfriend cheated on you with one of your friends.

You snorted as you stole one of the sweet delights from his plate, “The slytherin in you jumped out.”

He preened, mockingly laughing the way rich people do, “I try my best.”

“Thank you, Jimin.”

“Anything for you."

None of your relationships seemed to work. Maybe it was because you never seemed to find any sort of connection with them. Maybe it was because they never had any sort of genuinity to commitment.

Maybe it was because they weren’t Jimin.

It dawned on you on one of those quiet days where you ponder quietly as you gaze at the ceiling. Looking back, it really was Jimin who stuck with you through it all. He made you laugh every time he did his pranks (he was never caught), he made you smile every time he danced like a dork, he made you feel at home.

Squealing lightly, you fell off the bed at your epiphany.

“Holy shit… I like my best friend.”

As soon as those words left your mouth, your eyes widened. There are a lot more negative disadvantages to liking your only best friend. What if he didn’t like you? What if he thinks you’re creepy? What if you don’t become friends anymore?

That last question haunted you more than you liked to admit.

Jimin was your anchor, the one you found solace in when times are rough. Not being with him anymore just because your feelings got in the way.

You’d rather keep it in.

So you did. You kept that little crush to yourself and told not a soul. It kind of hurts to act that way, but it was for the best.

Jimin on the other hand began to grow out of his shell. Because you encouraged him, even in his bad days, you were able to help him be more out in the open. Soon, Jimin became one of the popular kids and you were more than happy to see him in his true element.

You once introduced him to your acquaintance and captain of the dance team, Jung Hoseok. He happened to be the son of the owner of the dance studio you two often went to as well. Jimin was soon recruited.

It was as if everything felt right when he accepted Hoseok’s offer. He was more than ecstatic. You were very much just as happy as he is.

“Congrats, shorty! Treat me to Belle Vie today?”

“You can’t call me that if you’re shorter… And shouldn’t I be the one treated today?”

That was the start of his way up to the big leagues.

You were left at the bottom. Probably forgotten, left alone at square one.

You didn’t notice it immediately. Your daily trip to Belle vie turned into every other day, then it became twice a week, once a week, until there was none at all. You couldn’t blame your sweet Jimin though. He became much busier after he joined the dance team.

At the back of your mind, it was hard to admit that he became too busy for you.

It was hard, really, to ask Jimin to hang out for at least just a day and be turned down time and time again.

“Hey! Can we go to Belle Vie today?”

You already knew the answer when his face contorted into an uneasy grin, the way he averted his eyes and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

“I… uhm… have practi—”

“Oh! ‘S alright, we can just go out on a later date,” you cut him off to save yourself an ounce of dignity and scurried away before he could make it more painful than it is.

The unlikely duo weren’t seen together anymore anywhere.

You still went on with your day though. You wanted to support your sweet best friend through every competition he had, every breakdown he cried for, every problem he harbored.

It was different this time, you two couldn’t deny it. From strangers to best friends, then back to strangers.

The feelings you long since had have grown into something you couldn’t ignore. Despite every embarrassing moment you experienced from being turned down, the way his smile grew bigger every time their team won had your heart swooning. This Jimin, admittedly now one of the most popular heartthrobs of your school, brought your tummy butterflies that won’t die down.

On your fifth friendship anniversary, you decided it was time you get Jimin for just a day. Heck, just an hour with him would suffice. It’s been long since you two were together and why not hang out on the day that started it all?

“Chim, let’s eat at Belle Vie today. I’m not taking no for an answer,” You huffed in faux confidence, momentarily ignoring that little voice in your head who taunted at you.

“Ah… what’s the occasion?”

Are you kidding me?!

“June 13th! It’s our friendship anniversary dummy,” You grinned hesitantly as your voice wavered.

You never thought you’d have to remind him of this date. It was the other way around! He would surprise you and treat you to Belle Vie because you two were friends!

“Alright… I’ll meet you there.”

There wasn’t as much enthusiasm in his voice as he had last year. It was now blatantly obvious he wanted nothing to do with you.

You figured it was time for your last resort, confessing to everything you’ve felt. Maybe this time… Maybe this time he’ll have a change of heart.

Rain poured down when afternoon came. The clouds were weeping at the loss of friendship. Or maybe it was long gone and you just realized it now and the clouds were sad for another reason…

The two of you were sitting in the same booth you first did, the one nearest to the window. You both ended up getting the same food you always bought. You found yourselves in the same predicament you first met— awkward, silent, and nervousness.

Everything was the same yet everything was different.

The Jimin in front of you now, for example, was strikingly different from the Jimin you met. But you were still the same ol’ Y/N he first met.

You were finally fed up with everything he had thrown your way. Every rejection he made you face, every embarrassing moment you had to endure, every ounce of pain you had to feel.

“What happened to us?” You whispered, looking at anything but this stranger in front of you.

He raised an eyebrow, “Us? What do you mean? Don’t get carried away, Y/N.”

“You were never like this to me, Jimin… You always went to me for everything… Now we don’t even t-talk,” You cried out weakly, too hurt to prevent anything from not being said.

“I’m not gonna be there at your every beck and call, Y/N! I’m not gonna be with you forever! You’re not even my girlfriend! God, how clingy can you get!?” Jimin harshly let out.

Your eyes widened as his remarks flowed into your head and repeatedly taunted you. Tears welled up in your eyes, unable to believe that this is the person you called your best friend.

“I… I can’t believe I like you,” Your face visibly cringed when you said that word. That specific word that wasn’t even enough to describe the immense love you had for this boy who had chosen to hurt you with his words.

It was out. The secret you had for so long is finally out.

Instead of anything welcoming, however, Jimin only mumbled a “what?” out of disbelief. Maybe he wasn’t hearing himself correctly.

This expression of his told you more than you needed to know. Despite the tears now flowing freely, you asked him softly.

“H-hey… Do you know what Belle Vie means?”

You were met with silence. He stared at you as you tried to salvage this piss-poor conversation.

“It means Beautiful Life… and I’m glad to have experienced that with you, Jimin…”

He didn’t say anything back, just a weak, “Goodbye.”

And there was nothing.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

It was supposed to end on a somewhat lighter note. Laughter should’ve rang through the room by now from your remark, or at least a chuckle should’ve been heard from his lips as he denies your claim. He should’ve continued eating his pastries or at least change the topic to the song currently playing in Belle Vie.

There shouldn’t be silence. You shouldn’t hear the pitter patter of the rain outside from the cafe you’re in.

But it did.

Your longtime crush and now ex-friend walked out of the door, and with him left the five-year friendship you two built.

What a beautiful life, indeed.

permanent taglist: @luvinseokjinnie @97faerie @amoreguk

[rune-writes]

Rekindled Hope

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII

@aerith-week » Day 7: Cherish the Memories

Word count: 2482

Rating: G

Summary: A brief look into the times Kunsel visited Aerith at her church after Zack went missing. Two people in grief. Two people seek company in each other.

Note: A little late entry for Day 7��s prompt, featuring Kunsel!^^ (because ever since I saw his mail to Zack where he spoke about Aerith’s broken wagon and her refusal to accept his help because she’s still waiting for Zack, I just need to see their interactions).

Part 3 of Follow the Yellow Flowers: Aerith Week 2021

Read on AO3. 

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He came again—the friend—sauntering over to the flowerbed, then lounging on one of the wooden benches. He sat with his arms resting over his thighs as he folded his fingers loosely together. “How are you?” he’d ask. “How’s the garden? How are the flowers? How about your mother?” How, how, how, as if it was genuine interest and not some kind of obligation he’d felt toward his missing friend. He always kept his helmet on, ever since that day he’d taken it off and introduced himself. 

The man—boy?—was around her age. He had come knocking on the church’s door before pushing it open enough for him to slip through. Aerith had looked up then, fighting against the urge to jump and grin and say, Welcome home, Zack, because she’d gone through that scenario in more times than she could count, and not once had it been her SOLDIER with the sky-blue eyes. Reno had come one time with that swagger in his gait, grumbling at what a pain Tseng had been for putting him under babysitting duties; Aerith had frowned at him and said, “Well, go, if you don’t wanna babysit me.” Another time had been Rude, who had entered the church with a small basket in his hand. He had apparently visited her house, and her mother had told him to bring her something to eat. He’d said nothing much, just stood in the corner with that unperturbed coolness. And when Tseng came to visit a few days after that, Aerith had been prepared, rising to her feet just as the door slid open.

“What now?” she’d said, arms folded over her chest. 

Tseng had crossed the large hall with a small smile playing across his features. “Have Reno and Rude bothered you so much that you won’t give me a simple ‘hello’?”

“Even if they hadn’t, why should I?” 

Her voice had been testy, but Tseng had only scoffed, soft and amused. He’d remained silent, facing her with that impeccable smile. 

Aerith’s lips had pulled into a taut line. It had been a struggle to maintain her anger, if only because she’d had no energy left to stay angry. Not after she’d spent months waiting for someone who never came. She’d dropped her gaze, the tension leaving her shoulders in a quiet sigh. Wordlessly, she’d turned around, then crouched before her flowerbed. The yellow lilies had gazed at her, offering what little comfort flowers could give. It had been a moment before Tseng moved to her side and helped her tend her flowers. 

So when, some time later, the church’s heavy doors creaked open once more, a part of her had expected it would be one of the Turks, checking up on her as part of their daily routine. But it hadn’t been those men in black striding toward her. The person had worn none other than the SOLDIER garb she’d come to miss. A different color, she’d noted—a dark, muted purple. But it had been still a SOLDIER garb, with a SOLDIER helmet, and the person had paused mid-step on his tracks, gave a slight tilt of his head followed by a small nod, before resuming his walk and stopping in front of her. 

“Are you Aerith?” he’d asked. 

Aerith had blinked, surprised. How had this person known her name? Had the Turks sent a SOLDIER instead to watch over her? She’d given him a quiet nod, then seen a smile blossoming on his face. 

“Good, I was afraid I got the wrong person.” His voice had been light, sweet. He’d reached up and lifted the helmet off his face. A sharp, strong jawline; sculpted cheekbones; and dark brown hair that fell over his forehead; but it was the eyes that caught her attention—bright blue like the sky, rimmed with a Mako glow. 

Just like him. 

With the smile still plastered across his face, he’d held out his hand and said, “My name’s Kunsel, Zack’s friend.”

Somehow, Aerith had always evaded hearing that name. A conscious decision, perhaps, or maybe a subconscious one—the way her mind shut off any mention of it. Her mother had never spoken it, and neither had the Turks whenever they visited her. The slum residents had barely known him. Even when the so-called fan club had approached her, her mind had been ready. But when this friend introduced himself, Aerith hadn’t had the chance to prepare herself.

Zack’s friend. 

Unbidden, a lump had formed at the back of her throat. Aerith had fought back against the choke as tears sprang to her eyes. 

***

The first month Zack hadn’t returned, Aerith had believed when people said he was busy, caught up in whatever assignment the Company had given him. But then three months rolled by, six months, and now it had been well over a year, and there was still no news of his return or whereabouts.

Kunsel rose from his seat and strode over to her, crouching before the flowerbed and reaching to stroke the yellow petals. With his helmet settled over his head, Aerith felt his glance more than she saw it, but he said nothing, then went to pull the weeds sprouting from the ground. 

Why exactly was he here? She had figured SOLDIERs would have their plates full, with how many times a phonecall or mission had interrupted her date with Zack. But here Kunsel was, months after he’d introduced himself and seen her cry, months of helping her tend her flowerbed as though he had all the time in the world. He’d offered to fix her cart one time, broken after using it so many times to sell flowers around the slums, but she’d refused and said she’d wait for Zack. Because Zack would come. He had promised her he would. 

Kunsel deftly pulled at the weeds, reaching deep into the roots so as not to let them grow again. He moved quietly, scouring her flowerbed for the parasitic plants that would kill her flowers. The pile on his side grew higher with each passing moment. When he was about to go to her side, Aerith spoke up.

“No, I’ll—I’ll take care of this side.”

The SOLDIER looked at her. Even through his visor, Aerith could still see those familiar Mako-rimmed eyes. Her heart clenched. She only spared him a glance before dropping her gaze back to her chore. 

“Alright,” she heard him say. She watched him from the corner of her eye, at the efficient way he moved as he cleaned his side of the flowerbed. Silent, but still a reassuring presence. 

When had it started—when she’d started looking forward to his visits more than she would admit? She’d told him one time he hadn’t needed to help with the flowers, but Kunsel had only given her a sideways glance and said, “You let Tseng help.” No, she hadn’t. She’d told Tseng the same, but true to his character, Tseng had never listened to her. Not once. But maybe that’s not true, now that Aerith thought about it. Tseng never brought her back to the lab, and he had lent his phone that time she had wanted to call Zack. The man had known her since she was little, and despite whatever true intention he and his men had behind their visits, Aerith was grateful for the Turks’ company—as grateful as she had grown to accept Kunsel’s too. Because having someone else beside her… it helped keep the sadness at bay. 

With that thought in mind, her next words rolled out of her tongue instinctively: “I started writing letters.” She felt his glance, felt the quiet surprise, but Aerith only focused her attention on the rhythmic way her hands pulled at the weeds.

Her admission made it true—those nights she’d spent staring at her ceiling. Worry had gnawed at her heart, wondering what had happened to Zack, wondering where he was and what he was doing and if he was okay. Everyone said he might have moved on. Her mother had said to forget about him. And Aerith wanted to, if only she could. 

She was never a stranger to loneliness. She had spent her days alone in Shinra’s lab, then spent more days alone in the slums. None of the kids had played with her. The only friends she’d had were the flowers. Yet when Zack crashed through her church’s roof and fell onto her flowerbed, everything had changed. The church that had once offered her solace became a source of joy. She’d started playing a game of when-would-Zack-visit-again, and sometimes, when Aerith opened the massive double doors, she would find him already waiting for her with a grin radiant like the sun.

Across the flowerbed, Kunsel still stared at her. Aerith gave a little shrug as she said, “For a few months now, I think? Mom told me to. She hated seeing me so… down for so long, so this one night, she came up to me and asked me what I wanted to do. That if I can’t reach him by phone, I could try writing to him. Who knows? Maybe he’d read it, no matter how busy he gets…”

Busy… As though being “busy” was the one thing that had kept Zack away. As though nothing bad could have prevented him from coming home. Every time Aerith voiced her concerns to Tseng, he had always been quick to say that Zack was fine. That the company was keeping him busy for longer than anyone had expected. But Tseng had always been a trained liar, and there had been no doubt he was lying to her.

Aerith sneaked a glance at Kunsel, gauging his reaction. Would he lie to her too? But Kunsel had his eyes fixed on the weeds at his clutch, his jaws set as his gaze took on a hard glint. 

“Busy, huh…” His grip tightened, his knuckles going white. “If only that’s all there is.” He pulled the weeds with all his might. Dirt burst out in a sprinkle of dark brownish matter, showering his lap, his hands, his boots. Kunsel stared at the now-lifeless plant on his palm. “That’s what we wish, isn’t it? That he’s just too busy to check his phone or that he’s stuck somewhere with a low signal. But… is that all there is?” 

“What do you mean?”

“The news, that Zack might’ve been—” His breath catching on the word, Kunsel pursed his lips. But Aerith knew what he meant. Killed in action. She’d heard. When those fan club people had approached her—they might not have realized, but she’d heard snippets of their conversation. Her fingers twitched, a muscle fluttering along her jawline. Aerith didn’t believe it.

Across from her, Kunsel cleared his throat. “I never believed it. Not one bit of it. I know he’s out there somewhere, and the Company is hell bent on keeping it a secret.”

Aerith blinked in surprise. “How are you so sure?” 

“Because I tried looking for him, and they cut my search short.” 

The silence that followed was deafening. Aerith stared at Kunsel, trying to make sense of his words. Was Kunsel insinuating that Shinra was the reason Zack went missing?

Kunsel’s face was hard as he returned to his chore, his movement swift and efficient. Before long, he’d cleaned the entire flowerbed, even the section Aerith had meant to clean herself. He gathered all the weeds, then rose, bringing them to the trash can outside the church. When he returned, the hard glint was gone. In its place was a brilliant beam. 

“Have faith, Aerith. He’ll come back. One way or another, he’ll come back for sure. He promised, didn’t he?”

Aerith stared at him, at that conviction that was so strong, so bright, so contagious. It made her own hope flickered back to life. She had not yet felt his soul pass her by—the way Elmyra’s husband’s had after he died in Wutai. Zack was still out there. She was sure of it. 

“Is that why you’re here?” she asked then. “To give me hope?”

Her question had taken Kunsel off guard. It showed in the widening of his eyes and the slight slackening of his jaws. Her mouth quirked into a little smirk, Aerith snorted, turning away to hide her laughter behind her hand. 

“Hey,” he said, and she heard the amused chuckle in his voice. Kunsel snorted, then scoffed. “For your information, I’m Zack’s best friend. You ask every SOLDIER, grunt, or even the Turks who Zack’s friend is and they’re gonna say me. I know everything about your boyfriend, including how head-over-heels in love he is with you. So, if you ask me why I’m here…” 

His voice trailed off. The way Kunsel had nonchalantly bragged about being Zack’s friend had made her want to laugh, but seeing his face now, seeing his melancholic smile… Aerith pursed her lips. 

Kunsel lifted his face and stared at the hole in the roof. In a voice so low that Aerith had almost missed it, he said, “I promised I’d look after you, so that’s what I’m gonna do.”

A shift in the clouds outside gave way to sunlight slanting in through the hole. It shone on Kunsel’s helmet, making the metal sparkle. In another timeline, had she met Kunsel when Zack was still here, would they have become fast friends without this sorrow hanging over them? Laughing and joking around as the boys visited her at the church. 

Kunsel shielded his eyes at the blinding sun. “It’s sunny outside. Wanna have a walk?” Those sky-blue eyes were bright and clear, Aerith found the sight of them didn’t hurt her anymore. Still a twinge of pain, but nothing she couldn’t handle. 

Aerith rose to her feet. She brushed her hands against her dress, then stretched her arms over her head. Holding her hands behind her back, she followed Kunsel’s gaze and, for the first time in a long time, looked at the sliver of blue between two metal plates. She held her gaze, even as her heart constricted at the sight of it.

When you come back from your assignment, let’s go sell flowers under the sky together. I won’t be afraid if you’re with me.

A lump formed at the back of her throat, Aerith pressed her lips in a thin line. The flowers on her feet swayed in a nonexistent wind, as if trying to comfort her. As if trying to say, he’ll come back.

Aerith threw Kunsel a sideways glance. The SOLDIER was looking at her with an inviting tilt of his head. “Sure,” she said, and felt her lips parting into a small, genuine smile, one that came from her heart. “Let’s go. And you can take your helmet off if you want. Isn’t it stuffy?” She met his look of surprise with a grin, before heading off to exit the church.

~ END ~

[princecharmingmendes]

Heartstrings | Chapter XIV | Shawn Mendes

“ ‘It’s like a best friend, but more. It’s the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It’s someone who makes you a better person, well, actually they don’t make you a better person… you do that yourself because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you, and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens..you’ll always love them.’ - unknown”

“Shawn was a huge believer that the ‘soulmates’ situation’ was the most stupid thing on the planet, specially since it was such a rare thing to find someone with the same mark as you. He would do anything he could to prevent the so called 'destiny’ from happening, but could he?”

hi, this is the last chapter to this series and i'm so grateful to anyone who followed this story as it was in the building process, and i'm so happy with how it "came to life", so thank you so much. i have to shoutout to two people in particular or this wouldn't have turned out the way it did. first of all, i have to thank my bad boy anon for requesting this series on the first place and being so supportive, and also i have to thank @fanficshawn for helping me figuring this whole concept out. anyway, i hope you like it, and please give me some feedback.

new chapter of a Raul series coming soon

*Word Count: 4.8K+.

*Warnings: cursing, slight angst.

*Posted: June 18th, 2020.

                                                   -*-

Whenever I think things are going alright, everything seems to flip upside down. I can’t seriously follow Shawn’s mood swings, really. I know we’re in the middle of finals and his mom had a car crash, but Aaliyah called me to tell everything was fine and he simply disappeared for a whole week. I couldn’t find him anywhere on campus and I swear I tried being comprehensive, but I just can’t take it anymore, I’m done waiting for him to actually open up to me. And even though he got better last weekend, he got back to normal rather quickly. So I decided to study and ignore the hurricane that Shawn Mendes is on my life.

I took the tests and days flew by as I hoped to go home as soon as possible, I was exhausted and this whole semester was a mess, not for academic reasons, Shawn, and Tyler and then Shawn. Since when guys are the only thing causing trouble in my life?! I mean, that’s all they do, but I never put so much effort on them, so this is a bit frustrating. But when I left my class due to the fact that my tests were officially over and I was feeling so much lighter than I was before. Unfortunately, the light sensation was gone when I saw his jeep parked outside the building and his body leaning on it as he texted someone.

I felt my phone vibrating on my back pocket and I picked it up as I started walking away on the opposite direction he was standing. Pretty mature, running away from my problemas, I know, but what do you want me to do? There was a text from him saying he was waiting for me outside and that we needed to talk. I ignored it and then my phone started ringing and I had to pick it up.

“Hi?”

“Y/N, are you seriously running away from me?” Shawn’s voice echoed through the phone.

“I’m not”

“I’m literally looking at you looking over your shoulder”

“Well, I’m not the one who disappeared, am I?”

“That’s why we need to talk, I promised you I would explain everything, and that’s why I’m here, baby girl”

“Is that how you work?”

“What do you mean?”

“You simply vanish and suddenly you’re ready to talk?!” I know I sounded stupidly mad, but I had to be honest.

“I’m sorry, I can explain, I know it won’t change everything, but I’ll at least be honest” he said and I was able to hear his voice from behind me and not only from the speaker as he turned off the phone call.

I turned around, only to be met with a pair of those gorgeous honey eyes, that even though I was wanting so bad to punch him, the sight alone still made me weak on my knees.

“Why should I go with you? I think you’ve had enough chances”

“I know that, but again, I’ll ask you for one more, let me take you out, we can grab lunch and then pack, I can give you a ride home, please, Y/N, I’ll answer everything you want after lunch”

“You promise me that?”

“I do, can I take you with me?”

“Where are we going?”

“I can take you to the diner, the one from our first date”

“It was a fake date”

“Didn’t feel fake to me”

“It- You-“

“Come on, we can discuss this later, I know you’re hungry and you probably didn’t have breakfast nor dinner”

“How did you...?”

“I know you, Y/N, like the palm of my hand, now come on, burgers and fries and the guys are all waiting for us”

“Are they?”

“Yeah, it’s the end of the semester”

“Oh” Was all that left my mouth as Shawn extended his hand to me “let’s go then”

“Okay” he said as I grabbed his hand and interlaced our fingers, walking back to his car as he practically skipped his way back.

“How’s your mom by the way?”

“She’s fine, she’s at home”

“That’s awesome”

“Yeah” he answered and squeezed my hand softly “thank you”

I looked at him trying hard to hold back a smile, but it was impossible “Let’s not start this again, you were right, I’m starving!”

That was enough for Shawn to basically drag me chuckling to his car and I couldn’t hold back the laughter that bubbled from my throat. He was so excited to go grab lunch it was way too contagious, or maybe it’s because I was about to understand the whole situation and maybe be in peace with him. So the whole time we were in the car, he was basically beaming and jamming to his favorite songs as I tried not to die for laughing too hard. He parked two blocks from the diner cause it was filled with students and got out, as soon as my feet hit the ground, he was beside me, offering his arm like a true gentleman.

“Peace offering?” he tried with a grin and I just nodded giggling “I know this doesn’t mean I’m free, I don’t want to be free, I don’t want to be the reason you’re upset anymore, I just want you to enjoy today”

“Thank you, you are forgiven, for now at least, it’s a truce until you tell me everything”

“Works for me” he answered before placing a sweet kiss to my temple.

We entered the place and our table cheered as they saw us walking hand in hand and we just had to laugh. The guys hopped off the booth and left a spot for us both to sit in the corner against the wall, and Shawn didn’t resist the opportunity to pull me in. He rested his arm on the booth, just above my shoulder and I swear I had to hold back the need to just lean on his chest and relax after this stressful finals weeks. So instead of laying on him, I grabbed the menu to pick something up and Shawn poked my shoulder softly, which made me look at him and he was just smiling down at me which made me very confused at first, but then I heard Mel’s giggle from across the table and saw her holding her phone up at us.

“Come on, don’t pout at me, you two look way too cute for your own good” was all she used in her defense and I ended up just shrugging.

Everyone made their orders super quick cause apparently they’re all starving just like me, but even when the food arrived they kept on talking and cracking jokes all the time, which cause Brian to spill his soda through his nose. Somewhere between finishing my fries and milkshake, I felt Shawn’s arm falling around my shoulders casually, and since I didn’t do anything to shrug him off, he just kept it there, eventually pulling me closer, which led me to actually lean into him as the guys kept on talking.

Shawn looked down at me and placed a kiss on my forehead “Tired?”

“A bit, yeah”  

“I can take you home”

“It’s okay, I’ll miss them anyway and my bags are already packed and my dorm is basically ready for me to leave”

“Oh, you can come nap in mine if you want, while I pack my stuff and then we can talk”

“Seems pretty good to me”

“We can even stop by at your dorm first, so you can pick up your stuff” Shawn offered as he played with some strings of my hair “Ian’s going home after lunch, so if you want to crash at my place and stay in his room, so we can leave tomorrow morning to be at home for lunch, you can”

“That’d be great, Mel’s probably going there to stay with Mike as well, right?”

“Mhmm, but they’ll both leave tonight”

“What are the love birds whispering about?” Brian chimed in.

“We are no-“

“It’s not worth it” I cut Shawn off by placing my hand on his cheek softly “we were just talking about packing and how we are going home tomorrow”

“But that’s not interesting”

“What did you expect, Brian? Them to tell you how they’re going to have sex all night long? Come on, they’re not you” Mel said rolling her eyes playfully at the red-haired boy.

“What do you mean ‘they’re not me’?”

“They’re not dumb” Mike replied and we all laughed as Brian seemed a bit too pissed to find it funny.

“Ha-ha as if you and Ian were a lot better”

“Everyone knows we are, dude!”

“Y/N! Help me out!”

I smirked at him and shrugged “Ugh, I wish I could, but I’m to busy whispering about my sex life with Shawn to help you” and with that the attention was back on the guys.

“Our sex life?” Shawn teased with a boyish grin on his lips as I rolled my eyes at him giggling softly.

“Shut uuup”

“Don’t blush, baby, it’s okay, you know you can talk to me about everything you want”

“I swear I’m not going back to yours tonight” I threatened and he only chuckled, placing a kiss to my hair.

“I’m only kidding, don’t need to get all flustered about it”

“Yeah yeah, fuck you”

“What a dirty mouth” he gasped and chuckled at my frown “I’m only teasing you, come on, don’t get upset”

“Whatever” I said rolling my eyes, but I couldn’t hold back a smile when he grabbed my face and kissed my cheek.

We spent a little while there just chatting and laughing until some of them needed to leave, so we decided it would be best if we left as well, apparently I was the only one with my stuff already packed. Shawn and I got to my place only to pick up my stuff and I took the opportunity to say goodbye to Mel and wish her happy holidays. But before I could leave, she pulled me into the room one more time in a bear hug as Shawn quietly left with my bags, telling me he would wait for me on his car.

“Mel, it’s literally just a couple of weeks”

“I know, I know, call me clingy or whatever, but I’ll miss you” she said with a frown and I laughed at her.

“Stop being silly, you won’t even have time to miss me! You’ll be spending Christmas with your new boy”

“Yeah, that’s pretty nice, right?”

“Yeah, and you said, back in August on the first few weeks, that you didn’t want anything serious”

“Guess you’ll never know, you didn’t know Shawn was your soulmate back then either”

“Is he really?”

“Dude, are you dumb or you’re just playing pretend? He’s clearly in love with you for ages, Y/N, he literally worships you, he’s just learning how to show it now”

“Are you sure? Maybe he was right, there is no such thing as soulmate”

“Sweetie, soulmates are simply two pieces that fit perfectly, they don’t have to be romantically involved, they’re just the other’s half”

“Mel...”

“Oh, come on, Y/N, here, I’ll read the definition for you”

“It’s not necessary”

“Shush for a second, thank you” Mel places her hand above my lips to keep me quiet “ha! found it! ‘It’s like a best friend, but more. It’s the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It’s someone who makes you a better person, well, actually they don’t make you a better person… you do that yourself because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you, and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens..you’ll always love them’”

“Aaand?”

“That’s you and Shawn, obviously”

“You’re reading way too many novels for your own good, Mel, and I’m the one who’s saying it”

“Fine, but when the both of you finally realize how special is the bond between you two, I’m going to be the one to tell you that I told you so”

“Okay” I shrugged giggling and she laughed in response.

“Now go, your man’s waiting downstairs”

“Okay, bye Mel” I said hugging her one more time.

We let each other go and she just grinned at me “Bye, bitch” So I took my backpack and phone and turned to leave, but before I could shut the door she added “Oh, you’re going to be completely alone tonight, so please do me a favor and use a condom”

I shut the door a bit harder than needed and I hear her laugh from inside the bedroom. I only shook my head, unable to contain the smile from blossoming on my lips as I walked away. Shawn was sitting patiently on the driver’s seat, looking down at his phone as I climbed up in his jeep. He locked the device as he looked up at me, starting the engine and starting to drive to his place.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Melissa, she’s just crazy”

“Took you a while to notice” he said with a chuckle and placing his hand, palm up, on the console.

“She’s just great at hiding it” I replied sarcastically as I laced our fingers.

He brought our hands to his lips, placing a soft kiss on the back of mine “Whatever you say”

The drive was short to his place, and I didn’t even picked up the bags, only grabbed my backpack that had all the stuff I needed for tonight and tomorrow morning and went with Shawn to his apartment. The place was filled with bags and backpacks, but apart from that, was the nicer it’s ever been during the semester. We didn’t stick longer downstairs, Shawn only grabbed two bottles of water for us and dragged me to his room, which was a complete war zone. He only took something’s off his bed and told me to get comfy to nap as he packed.

So that’s just what I did, I took off my shoes and placed my phone on the nightstand, laying down and watching as he started to go through his clothes and fold them not so nicely, and place them on his suitcase. I didn’t even noticed when I dozed off, but was really hard to keep myself awake with Shawn softly humming to some random song. I just noticed I was off, what felt like minutes later, when I felt someone calling me in a low tone and gently caressing my face waking me up. The first thing I saw was his honey eyes, then his body crouching down beside my side of the bed and then his perfectly aligned teeth in a beautiful smile.

“Hey” he mumbled softly.

“What time is it?” my voice sounded extremely groggy “how long was I out?”

“It’s almost 5:30, ordered us a pizza, hope you don’t mind” he replied standing straight “you slept for a bit more than an hour and a half”

“Oh shit” I let out as I ran a hand through my hair “I didn’t even noticed I was out til you woke me”

“You were sleeping pretty heavily, I felt bad for waking you up, but I was afraid if I let you sleep longer you wouldn’t be tired enough to sleep at night”

“No, you’re probably right, thank you” I said as I sat up, rubbing my eyes softly “Are you done with packing?”

“Yeah, I though that maybe if you wanted to talk... We could do it now”

“Oh, okay” I said crossing my legs and he sat down in front of me.

“This is not easy for me, so I’m going to ask you two things, okay?”

“Okay”

“First, I wouldn’t like things to change between us, it might take a while but I don’t want to loose you”

“You’re scaring me” I said with a nervous chuckle and he only smiled softly at me.

“I don’t intend to, I’m sorry, and the second one, I would like to say everything I have to say first, cause I don’t really know how to say this best, and I’ve practiced”

“Okay, sure” was all I could answer and I saw his cheeks getting pink.

Shawn took a deep breath and I placed my hand on his knee, and he only smiled at me as a response.

“You know I never really believed in soulmates and stuff, I just think it is a coincidence, right? And I even covered my birthmark that everyone teased me about with the swallow tattoo, to prevent myself from being stupid and looking for the same mark on others, cause for me this shit just wasn’t real. So when I found out, that you, the girl I had a massive crush on and my best friend and I shared the same birthmark, I completely lost my mind. I didn’t want to believe it was real, I didn’t even know if you thought of me that way. I was scared to death” he took a deep breath and I squeezed his knee gently.

He once again offered me a smile as he kept on going.  “I didn’t want it to be real, didn’t want you to be my soulmate, I didn’t want to lose you, I wasn’t ready to be the one to ruin this amazing friendship we built during our whole lives, so my pretty dumb boy logic brain thought at first to ignore it, act like I never saw it before, and hell, I don’t know if it’s the soulmate/mark thing, if it’s God, if it’s C.I.A or, I don’t know, some greater love force, but every day we went through was getting harder to ignore my feelings for you and the itch sensation to just grab your pretty face and kiss you.

And then, my amazing ability to deal with feelings thought it was better to push you off than keep on falling harder for you, and I know, I was the worst to you and I’m so incredibly fucking sorry for ever treating you like that. You didn’t deserve it, and you also didn’t deserve being left in the dark, and I don’t even know how you found it in yourself to forgive me, but I’m so thankful for that. I felt like shit for ever making you sad and it literally hurt in me to see you less than happy, specially cause I knew it was my fault. And then the whole fake dating thing started and it was a mess. I was constantly jealous of Tyler, cause he’s an idiot who never deserved you and cause I really wanted you to myself. But I was completely torn between telling you everything and keep on pushing you away so I wouldn’t be the one hurting you more. Crazy, I know” he said with a ironic chuckle.

“Just a little bit” I mumbled softly and he shook his head with a smile.

“But since we started spending so much time together again, I just couldn’t keep on pushing you away, I had to be selfish and have you back on my life, and to be honest, since I first found out about our soulmate situation, that’s when I finally felt happy and relieved, when I had you around me again. And I even thought you were into me as well, hell, you kissed me, twice, and then I had to go on and ruin everything cause I got jealous over nothing, again” he said running his hands through his mop of curls, tugging at the roots “and then I was sure I fucked it all up and that you’re never going to look on my face again, and then there was my mum thing, and I couldn’t go to anybody else, I just showed up at your door without even noticing it, I am just always coming back to you.

You took care of me like no one else would, and that’s when I knew I couldn’t hold back anymore, I just needed you and I kissed you, and everything fell into place. I couldn’t stop smiling the whole day after that. And I know I disappeared for a week, I just didn’t want to see you and not explain everything you deserved to know about me, so it took me a while to get my shit together, but here I am”

He looked at me like he was staring at my soul and all I could do was hum in response.

“I thought you’d need some time to process it, so if you want me to leave I can go or if you have any questions you can ask me” he added softly and after a few minutes without any responses he started to get up to leave.

“Where are you going?” my question was barely a whisper, but he listened because he looked down at me with a frown.

“I’m leaving you to absorb it”

“No, don’t, don’t run away from me now”

“I’m not” he said sitting down again and reaching for my hands, that I promptly placed on his “I’m here now, Y/N, and I’m not going anywhere until you tell me to”

“Okay, so let me see if I get this straight” I started and he nodded with those big doe eyes “you were falling for me and freaked out when you found out we were potential soulmates, and decided to ignore it and push me away afraid of ruining our friendship?”

“Yeah”

“And then you decided it wasn’t the right thing to do and started hanging out with me again and noticed that you shouldn’t have done it on the first place without telling me anything? Your best friend?”

“I fucked up pretty badly, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did” I said and he sighed, closing his eyes that were already pretty glossy from the tears that started to form “hey, look at me, now I’m talking”

“Okay” he said sounding completely broken.

“You should’ve told me in the first place and we could’ve figured this whole thing out together, so neither of us would’ve suffered, cause even though you did hurt me, you also hurt yourself, and I know it wasn’t your intention to do it to neither of us. I know you never meant to hurt me, you were just doing what was better in your head for me, but here’s the thing, I’m the one that should decided what’s best for me, Shawn, okay? The whole problem here is...”

“That I’m an idiot?” he suggested.

“No, honey, well, a bit, yeah” I said and he let out a sad chuckle “but the main problem is miscommunication, we should’ve just talked to me, and this whole mess wouldn’t have happened”

He nodded looking down at our joined hands and I let go of them, only to cup his jaw and force him to look up at me “why were you scared of losing me? Or hurting me?”

“Me?” he asked and I nodded in response “I just- you’re perfect and I’m just Shawn”

“I’m sorry, what?” I asked chuckling softly.

“Yeah, you’re the most intelligent person I’ve ever met, you’re good in everything you do, you’re the sweetest, kindest and most beautiful girl I’ve ever met and me? I’m just Shawn, the dumb boy, that never had a real serious relationship and that likes to party on his free time, I’m not enough for you”

“I’m not all of that, I’m flattered, really am, but I’m not that, Shawnie, and you, oh baby, you’re way more than that, yeah, you might have this bad boy with a frozen heart exterior, but in reality, you have the biggest heart and are the softest guy I’ve ever met”

“Only for you” he mumbled.

“And that’s honestly all that matters to me”

“Is it?”

“Yeah”

“Really?”

“Yes, Shawn” I said giggling softly.

“So what do we do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“With all this?”

“Well, we should communicate better”

“Okay, that’s on me”

“No, it’s on me too, if I told you I liked you way too long ago, this could’ve been avoided”

“You liked me?”

“Yeah”

“As in the past?” I only hummed in response and he nodded.

“And now I’m in love with you”

“You’re what?!”

“In love with you”

“You fell in love with me?! Out of all people?Just like I did with you?”

“Yep” I said popping the ‘p’ and he laughed.

“Well, maybe there is such thing as soulmates”

“Maybe” I giggled as he pulled into his arms, hugging me tight to his body.

“So what do we do with this?”

“We can go slow with this, just go with it and don’t hold back anymore”

We just sat there, in each other’s embrace for a while, letting the eventful evening sink in as he gripped at my shirt and I played with his soft curls. Maybe we had a rough start to whatever this is, but having him like this makes me so sure that this was all worth it, if that meant I would have him like this at the end of the day.

“This can’t be real” he mumbled after what felt like ages.

“But it is, very real” I replied sitting up straight properly on his lap and he cupped my face gently.

“Prove it” he smirked at me, great, the Shawn I knew is finally back, and I only laughed in response, leaning in closer and finally pressing my lips to his softly.

The kiss was slow and passionate, I guess we weren’t in rush, we were just exploring each other calmly after everything that happened and I couldn’t feel happier. He was still cupping my jaw and my fingers were lazily wrapped in his curls, just getting used to one another. But when I tugged at it a bit harder than before and he whimper lightly into my mouth was as if something shifted around us. The whole place seemed to lit up on fire and even though all humans need oxygen to breath, suddenly it wasn’t important to us anymore. His tongue ran on my bottom lip as I let him deepen the kiss.

He was carefully leaning in and making me lay back on his soft pillows as his tongue licked into my mouth, one of his hands running down my body, only to stop at my waist, giving it a rough squeeze, getting a soft moan in response from me. And that was all Shawn needed to encourage him to keep on going. He placed a few pecks on my lips as he trailed down to my jaw and neck with his open mouthed kisses that was literally making me roll my eyes back and tug harder on his soft locks. When he started nipping on my collar bone his phone rang.

“Oh shit” he mumbled into my neck, nuzzling his face on my neck and going back to his assault there.

“Shawn” what was supposed to come out as a normal sentence ended up a moan when he left what could only be a red mark on the column of my throat.

“Hm?” he hummed completely ignoring his phone.

“Someone’s calling you”

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm” was all I could reply as he got back to my lips to kiss me all over again, living me completely dizzy, and almost making me forget about his phone.

“Let them” he mumbled before kissing me again, until I cupped his jaw and pushed him away softly making him whine in protest “I’m finally able to have you all to myself”

“And we have all night, baby, but you ordered pizza and I’m starving”

“Oh shit” he replied at the same time the doorbell rang making him groan in frustration.

“Go open the damn door, Mendes!” I said giggling and he got up to do it grumbling how mean I was, but still with a smile on his plump lips.

And I was there smiling to myself like the idiot I was, feeling my lips tingling and my whole body on fire. My phone buzzed from the nightstand and I reached to see who was texting me right now to ruin the moment, but it was only Shawn.

“Come downstairs, honey, the pizza’s here”

To Shawnie:

“I’m literally upstairs, you could’ve just called me, idiot”

From Shawnie:

“Nah-ah, don’t be rude to your boyfriend”

To Shawnie:

“Which boyfriend? I didn’t know I had one”

From Shawnie:

“Come downstairs and I’ll show you who’s you’re boyfriend”

To Shawnie:

“Nope, this bed is pretty comfy”

From Shawnie:

“Y/N, come on, baby, pretty please”

“Seriously, the pizza well get cold”

“Don’t make me go upstairs and pick you up”

“Y/N, I’m serious, if I go upstairs you’re going to be punished with tickles”

To Shawnie:

“Thought you couldn’t be rude to you girlfriend”

From Shawnie:

“Touché!”

“Now come here, baby, and I’ll make it worth it”

“Get your pretty ass downstairs”

To Shawnie:

“I’m coming”

It was all I could reply, still giggling like a teenage girl and I went downstairs, only to find him with our chat still open, writing down a reply I could never repeat out loud without turning myself into a blushing mess. But I’m not going to complain about it, I was happy, completely and utterly happy.

                                                   -*-

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*Thank you SO much for the love, guys, means the world to me!

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*xoxo

-🌙

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[writingdreamsnottragedies]

BTS Reaction // How you meet them

Namjoon

Art galleries were a real asset to you. Not only on rainy days you were drawn to the cool rooms full of works of art, even when the sun was in the clear sky you preferred to spend your time there. When you received the booklet of a gallery announcing an exhibition of your favorite artist, your next visit was already fixed.

As so often you avoid the first days of the exhibition to keep away from the big visitor crowds. The day you finally enter the rooms is sunny and hot, a day when most people prefer a cool drink and the outdoor pool. You like the way your footsteps echo in the empty corridors, the silence turns the place into something magical. Apart from an inconspicuous man with a cap, you really seem to be the only visitor and it is a great feeling, as you can completely lose yourself in the vision of the artist. You read every single description, let it work on you and add your own interpretations.

Only when you sit down on one of the benches after a while to rest for a moment you notice the man again. He enters the room after you and just like you he seems to barely notice you. You watch him for a while. Like you, he goes from painting to painting and just like you, he looks at each one intensively. He seems to think the same way as you and several times you find yourself connecting him in your mind with the paintings and creating completely new works of art. He stays longer at one painting and you can see how he frowns. The words come over your lips as if by themselves: “This is one of the best pictures of him”. The young man flinches and instinctively takes a step back before turning to you. Apparently, he didn’t notice your presence until now. “It’s even my favorite, but I can’t figure it out.” He looks up and you can see in his facial expression that this is a condition he does not experience too often.

You smile and pat the bench next to you: “I can tell you what I think about it, if you like.” The man seems to think for a moment, then he comes to you: “I’m Kim Namjoon”. He sits down next to you, looks at you expectantly: “So what did the artist want to express with this painting?”

Seokjin

At first you weren’t sure if it was a good idea to accompany your little sister to her primary school’s cooking competition, but she almost begged you, as your parents were prevented by work at short notice. Your dad had indicated in advance that he wanted to make homemade pasta and so you spent nights trying to make more or less successful attempts in your own kitchen before the big day arrived.

Now that you are standing at one of the kitchen counters, you realize that the preparation was worth it. Even your little sister has her fun, every time she turns the pasta machine and watches with fascination how the dough ball flattens more and more and finally turns into fine tagliatelle.  

You’re weighing the flour for another load of pasta, this time with little mushrooms in the dough, which are cleaned by your sister, when a voice interrupts your concentration.

“Excuse me?”

You pause in your activity and look up. A man stands in front of you and for a moment your breath stops because he is so incredibly handsome. He’s holding a salt shaker in his hand. When he notices that he has your attention, he turns it around. For a short moment you think all the salt would fall on your work surface, but nothing happens: "We made a mistake”. The man points to a little boy a few seats away who is staring curiously at you. On the work surface you can see a real collection of vegetables and other ingredients: “My nephew and I have bought so much that we forgot the salt”. A smile comes over your lips: “I’ll see if we have any left.” You go to the bags that still contain some of your own purchases: “My name is Seokjin, but Jin is enough” You repeat his name before returning to him: “Nice to meet you. My name is Y/N” With a triumphant grin, you hold out the packet of salt to him: “But don’t use it all at once.” He laughs and thanks you, and prepares to leave. But then he turns to you once again:  

“By the way, it doesn’t mean that we’ll lose just because I had to borrow some salt” Your grin widens as you turn back to the flour: “We’ll see”.

Yoongi

You had already taken many jobs during your holidays, but working in your uncle’s furniture store was something new. But you didn’t mind, the other employees were friendly and every week you were assigned to a different department. Not only did you learn a lot about the advantages of certain materials and types of furniture, you also came into contact with a wide variety of customers. In short, you enjoyed the work and were proud when your first recommendation was actually bought.

This week you were assigned to the team of the bed department and here you liked it best by far. Elderly people appreciated that you recommended the softest mattresses to them and children loved you for letting them jump on the beds while no one was looking. Sometimes, when time allowed and their parents were provided with your colleague, you played hide-and-seek with them in the children’s bed department and pretended not to see them through the elaborate knight’s castle and princess beds.

Your shift is coming to an end and you have to admit you’re exhausted. Especially today had been a turbulent day and all you wanted to do was go home. However, you promised your colleague that you would make another inspection tour of the department. As always, you pass the children’s section and look at one of the largest beds. A canopy bed with a ladder and slide. You remember the fun you had with a little girl a few hours before and decide that it can’t hurt to end the day with a little slide. But when you successfully climbed the ladder a little scream escapes you. There’s a man in the bed. He must have heard your reaction, because his eyes open and look at you drowsily:

“What are you doing in my room?”

Your heart is racing, but you force yourself to stay calm: “Sir, I’m sorry…” “Min Yoongi” he throws in and slowly straightens up as he rubs his eyes. The completely absurd thought that he looks good with the tousled hair hits you and you can’t shake it off: “Mr. Min…we are already closed. I must ask you to leave” He looks at you and slowly he seems to understand: “Oh…” he mumbles. Then he lets himself fall back on the mattress: “Seems like I have to buy this bed. I have not slept so well in a long time”.

Hoseok

That morning you thought the coffee stain on your favourite top was the worst thing that could happen. You knew better by now.

Actually, you were just trying to make him happy. A lunch, homemade to bring something to his work, so he could skip the canteen. You’d gone to all that effort, standing in the kitchen all morning.

However, your boyfriend had decided to get his meal somewhere else. That and more.

Your steps feel heavy as you walk across the terrain. A few people, on their way to their lunch break, stare at you and you try to suppress your tears as best you can, but you might not be able to.  At some point you give up, let yourself sink to the ground a little off the beaten track. Now you’re letting your tears run free. A thousand thoughts are spinning around in your head. Why had he done that? Weren’t you good enough? Not pretty enough? “What the hell is wrong with me?”

“Only your tears”.

Your vision is blurred and therefore it takes a while before you can recognize the person in front of you. He kneels before you.  You can see neither pity nor amusement in his face, instead a gentle smile adorns his lips. He holds a handkerchief out to you. First you hesitate, then you take it. You don’t care that he can see you wiping your nose after you sniffle a few times. Then you wipe the back of your hand over your eyes: “Thank you” “Do you want to talk about it? I am known for giving hope to others and bringing a little sunshine into their lives” The way he says it, the way he smiles at you makes you smile too. Which in turn makes his smile even wider: “See, it already works! You look much prettier with a smile than with tears.” He turns away, only to turn back to you a few moments later to again hold something out to you. This time it’ s a daisy:   "I’m Hoseok, but most people call me J-Hope, because i’m their hope. Let me be your hope too".

Jimin

Orientation had never been your strength, but it had never been as bad as now. Actually, you were gonna meet your best friend in the city. You had just moved to Seoul and didn’t know your way around yet. That’s how, without knowing it, you got off one station too early. With the thought of being in the right place, you set off, always looking for the mall where you wanted to meet. You hadn’t noticed how you were moving away from the main roads and into quieter areas where there were hardly any people.

By the time you realize your mistake, it’s already too late. Nervously you look around you, but you can no longer make out where exactly you have come from. You pull out your cell phone to call your friend, but then realize your next mistake, because the battery is in a dangerous red zone. Panic is rising in you. You have no idea where you are and people just walk past you from time to time. None of them looks like they are going to help you when you ask for directions and you are not sure if your fear would even allow it. The longer you are in this state, the more your surroundings seem to turn, the more dull the sounds in your ears become. You’re about to just sit on the street when you hear a voice. It is clear, distinct and beautiful. Something about it seems to calm you down. Even if you run the risk of getting even more lost you follow instinctively.

You land in an alleyway that ends at a stairway. A man sits on it. Over his full lips come the most beautiful sounds you have ever heard. When he notices you, he stops immediately. The sudden halt also brings you back to reality and you become aware again of the situation you are in. Your face seems to speak for itself, because the look of the man becomes concerned. Carefully he comes towards you, “Are you all right?” “I’m… I’m lost.” Your voice trembles and yet the words bubble out of your mouth: “I panicked and then I heard you singing and followed your voice and…” You break off because you feel so stupid, but the man just laughs: “Then you can be glad that I am not a siren”. He walks past you, then he turns and reaches out his hand to you: “I’ m Jimin. Tell me where you need to go, and I can take you there.”

Taehyung

The sun is just rising as you leave your apartment. It’s still fresh and you’re thinking about going back inside to get a jacket. But your dog has other plans and a pull on the leash makes it clear to you that a return would only be possible after an extensive walk.

As so often, your route takes you through the city park, at this time of the day still empty and not overcrowded as in the later hours. There is dew on the grass, the air is fresh and you pause for a moment to take a deep breath. Then you let your dog off the leash and let her run free. As good as she is she always stays close to you and finally you sit down on a bench to welcome the first rays of sunshine on your face. Soon your bitch will lie down next to your feet and you will enjoy the peace and quiet that you can only have in the early morning. Suddenly you see something. It’s small and it’s coming towards you. You can’t recognize it immediately, but your dog jumps up excitedly, which also makes you attentive. Before you even know it, a little dog is joining you. The two sniff each other shortly before they start playing together. You let it happen and try to look for the owner, but there is no need to do so, because instead you can hear him:

“Yeontan? Yeontan!”

He comes out of the undergrowth at the edge of the path. When he sees the little dog, he runs towards him and takes him in his arms: “Yeontan! You’re okay!” His clothes are dirty and in his dark hair a few leaves are hanging. You can’t help but laugh. He looks up and only now seems to notice you and your dog: “Thank you so much for finding him!” “I didn’t.” You point to your dog, “She did. The two seem to get along well”. As if to underline your words, the little dog starts fidgeting in the man’s arms so that he has to put him down. Again both dogs start to romp together. Your gaze wanders from them back to the man and your finger points to his head: “You should do something about that” “Huh?” he strokes through his hair and a lot of leaves fall to the ground, something that only makes you laugh harder. He joins in as he brushes his hair a few times and then pats the earth off his clothes. Then he turns back to you, “Thank you again… um…” “Y/N. I’m Y/N” “Nice to meet you. I’m Taeyhung.”

Jungkook

Being out with your friends made you bloom. Were you usually rather shy and reserved, with them you were open and ready for any fun. You had ice cream together, took some pictures of each other making faces. At some point you started to give one another some fun tasks. You watched as one of your friends gave a real dance performance and another one had an extremely interesting conversation with some pigeons.

When it is your turn, your stomach already hurts, you had to laugh so much. Your friends whisper to each other and you wonder what kind of task you will get. Finally, one of them turns to you. She points her finger at something: "Pretend you know him and ask him for an autograph!” The smile disappears from your lips: “I can’t do that” “Come on Y/N!” another one of your friends laughs: “I talked to pigeons! You can do it!” You keep trying to talk it out, but eventually you give in. Sighing, you get ready before you approach the man. He stands with his back to your group and seems to be completely absorbed in his mobile phone. You hesitate for a moment, because you don’t want to bother him, but then you pull yourself together: “Excuse me?”

He turns to you and there’s a brief flash of confusion on his face before he looks at you: “Yes?” You, on the other hand, are distracted because you didn’t expect a cute guy like that to be standing in front of you: “I’m… I’m…” All the self-confidence you’ve built up for this action seems to have faded away: “I mean, I’d like to…” “I understand.” He smiles at you encouragingly and pulls a pencil out of his jacket: “I am on a private tour, so please don’t take any photos”. Now you don’t understand anything anymore: “No, I…I’m only supposed to ask for an autograph because my friends put me up to it…like a dare.” You look back at your friends because the whole thing gets more and more uncomfortable with every stiffening second. They stand a few feet away and lift their thumbs so the guy can’t see, “What’s your name?” “Y/N” You hear him laugh, you look at him again. He stretches out two pieces of folded paper to you: “You can show one to your friends. The other one…” For a moment you think you can see blush in his face: “Please keep the other one to yourself”. He gives you another smile before he suggests a slight wave, turns around and leaves.

You also go back to your friends and show them the paper with the autograph. In the evening you take out the second piece of paper the man gave you. There’ s a little note on it: “My name is Jungkook. If you like, I would like to have a coffee with you sometime”. Underneath you find a phone number.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Sick Little Games: Two

B.C.

“Bucky?”

The uncharacteristically quiet voice makes him turn quickly. He hadn’t heard anyone approach and it startled him, “Jesus Christ, we need to put a fucking bell around your neck,” he snapped.

You wince at the harshness of his tone. “S-sorry. I- We- we’re the only ones here,” you stutter, “I- I-I-”

“Spit it out,” he rushed, glowering at you. 

Months had gone by and your crush had been on a slow simmer, he knew. He’d seen the brief longing glances and the way your cheeks burnt when his hand brushed yours. In another life, your little school girl crush would have set him to teasing you. Imploring you to sleep with him. Whispering compliments into your ear. But the man that wanted to do those kinds of things was gone. Long gone.

At his anger you seemed to shrink and it took a fraction of a second for you to grasp what you were about to say. “Do you want to get dinner?” He stops and stares at you for a second, “Like a date?” he scoffed.

“No,” you squeak, your cheeks darkening.

Bucky started towards you slowly, smirking, “Are you sure it isn’t a date kid?” He walked towards you until you’d backed towards the wall, too hesitant to prevent him from doing it. He rested his palms on the wall just above your shoulders, savoring the hammering of your heart against your ribs.

“N- I mean. Yes,” you murmur, looking resolutely at the space between your feet. He grinned slowly and tilted your chin up to make you look at him. Your eyes went wide and he brushed his thumb against your lips slowly, chuckling when you shiver, “Liar,” he hissed.

You shove his arm out of the way and you’re out of the room before he can manage to work up a laugh. But when he does, he can’t stop. It was too good. It had already been easy to see but after your patently transparent plan to make a move, he had enough concrete proof to do what he had to do.

It really was for your own good, he rationalized headed towards the elevator. You weren’t woman enough for him and if he let you play with fire, you were gonna get burned.

_________

A. C. (After Crush)

“Bucky,” Clint asked, “Did you see Y/N before she left?”

Bucky half shrugged, “I saw her with a bag. I figured she was suiting up to go somewhere for Fury. Ya know, like she does.”

Clint frowned but nodded, “You sure she didn’t say anything?”

“Not a word. She just kinda stared at me for a second and left.”

That part was true anyway. There’d been a look on your face he didn’t know how to decipher. For a fraction of a second he’d thought it was heartbreak but..., he supposed there wasn’t much left of your heart to break after he got through with it.

_____________

B.C.

After he cornered you in the laundry room you were careful to stay out from underfoot. It wasn’t the first time some sort of intimacy had been paired with the threat of violence. It left you with conflicting feelings. You’d wanted him to kiss you. You’d wanted him to be that close to you. But not growling at you like that. You’re really glad he hadn’t tried to keep you there. You’re not quite sure what you would have done if he hadn’t let you push past him and run. If he had decided to chase you up the hall when you bolted like a startled deer. 

“My lady!” Thor thundered, jolting you out of your reverie. Out of the memory of the shiver that had run down your spine and the smell of his aftershave. Something old fashioned. Musky and warm. It had washed over you and for a moment you couldn’t think. For a moment you were going to get the first kiss you wanted, even if it wasn’t what you had dreamed of. Even if it wasn’t a rose dusted daydream. Even if it wasn’t what you had spent hours playing and replaying in your head when you couldn’t sleep.

“Thor,” you say, turning to greet him with a smile, “Can I help you?”

Thor stops short, alerted that there was something in your room that was wrong. There was no music. Everything was tidy. “Y/N are you well?” he asked looking around, “Usually I can not see the floor for all the books scattered on it.” He grins at you to try to hide his unease and reaches towards you, making to press his hand to your forehead. 

You swat his hand away and give him a tired smile, “I couldn’t sleep so I decided to do some cleaning,” you explain. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” he hummed, “A young woman can’t sleep in a tower full of attractive men? Could it be love?” You know he’s teasing you but your eyes burn and so do your cheeks. 

“No,” you murmur, your voice cracking despite the breath you took to try and stop it. Thor makes a soft distressed sound and kneels at your feet taking your hands.

“Darling girl,” He said, wiping away a tear with his thumb, “If a suitor has been behaving in an unworthy manner, tell me and I shall rend his head from his shoulders.”

It wasn’t what he intended, you knew, but you couldn’t choke the damp laugh that started. Something about his oddly formal manner and the big brother anxiety in his face was endearingly sweet. Thor’s face relaxed into a soft smile and he kisses the hands he’s holding. “What troubles you my darling?” he asks, “Your heart is not made to be troubled this way.”

“It’s nothing,” you say, dismissing the wriggling memory of a thumb against your lips and the threat of violence is cold blue eyes as he leaned in as if to kiss you. Or trying to before you could start crying in earnest. 

“You will not unburden yourself to me?” he asked, trying not to be hurt by that.

“Cannot,” you clarify quickly. Too quickly for Thor’s liking, but he’s lived long enough to know that if a lady means to protect her love, she will. By any means necessary. Especially a young lady without experience (her own or borrowed from an older woman) to fortify her own position. Thor knew that the harder he pressed the more you would lie. The more you’d feel compelled to light yourself on fire to keep whoever this man was, warm. 

“I see,” he rumbled, disapprovingly. He did not see. And he didn’t think that any man who would let you suffer sleepless nights and so many little broken hearts was worthy of you. Not his little Witchling with the clever hands and razor wits. Thor kissed your forehead and smiled a little, “I’ll keep your secret,” he said, “On one condition.”

“Which is?”

“If this man lays a hand on you in any way you do not wish him to, you allow me to cut it off.” He put on his fiercest scowl and chucked you under the chin.

“I don’t thank that will be an issue, Thor,” you snort, “He’s not interested in me at all.”

“Then he’s mad,” Thor huffed, throwing up his hands, “What manner of man doesn’t look at my Witchling and burn?”

“The kind that likes boys?” Clint offered, leaning on your doorframe.

“There is that,” Thor conceded amicably, pecking your cheek, “But still, Barton, am I wrong? We’re fortunate to have this lovely creature to admire.”

“You’re taken, Thor,” you tell him, giggling, momentarily distracting him from Clint who’s suddenly interested in your shelf.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t ‘window shop’ and I heard you and Lady Natasha call it,” he said with a lazy smile.

“Y/N can I borrow this?” Clint said scooping up a book at random to have an excuse to run.

You cock your head, “Burial practices of Ancient Celts?”

“Hot date,” he blurted, “Goth chick... she’s into that.”

You nod, bemused but tickled,  “Tell her Charles Dickens used to go to the morgue and stare at corpses for a few hours every now and again if the conversation slows down.”

“Neat,” he said, inspecting the book and giving you a thumbs up before half sprinting down the hall. Thor looked towards the doorway and quirked an eyebrow. Barton wasn’t the object of your affection at least. Because that man was clearly head over heels. Even if he hadn’t realized it yet... And that was a comfort. Thor would hate to have to take one of his hands. 

Tags:@lancsnerd, @thorfanficwriter @blameitonthecauseway @etherealwaifgoddess, @stevieang, @beautybyfire, @sunmoonandbucky @mrsfox79, @bbmommy0902, @mendes-fan, @iheartsebastianstan, @pinknerdpanda, @process-pending

[dreamiesdotcom]

[11:27] Dating Lee Donghyuck is playing with fire, and everyone knows it. He's everything everyone wants — good grades, Soccer Team captain and handsome face. It's not hard to see why they like him so much, with his eyes a beautiful shade of brown, skin gracefully tanned and attractive proportions, he's quite a sight. Not to mention the positive vibes he radiates, his existence so bright you could only compare it to the Sun's and it still seems like an understatement — and with this, it's a given fact that the boy, or Haechan as he likes to go by, can get what and who he wants easily.

What makes being in love with him like playing with fire, though, isn't his popularity — it's his lack of interest in anyone who trips over their feet for him; you could fall for him for as long as you want but he would never reciprocate. Lee Donghyuck can get what he wants easily, but Lee Donghyuck doesn't like easy. What he likes, or more specifically, who he likes, to everyone's clear knowledge, is you.

Unfortunately, you happened to be the 'most dense, cold hearted, oblivious person to walk on this planet' according to his very own words, and Jaemin has to shake his head no, with a whispered "She just isn't interested, let her be, let her have her peace". Another unfortunate thing, though, is that listening is not a skill Donghyuck was given, and following advices is not something he's known for.

Just to add to the list of the boy's misfortune, you're absolutely willing to do everything to not have to cross paths with him because despite the rather flowery descriptions provided, you're not exactly fond of the boy — you hate him. You hate his guts, the cocky grin that never seems to disappear from his lips whenever he's looking at you, and the teasing from your schoolmates whenever they catch him flirting with you. You hate him, Lee Donghyuck, with every fibre of your being, passionately. Or so you want to believe.

But that isn't enough, apparently, because even if you're bursting with the will to avoid Lee Donghyuck, it proves you hard escape this situation when he's standing at the door of your classroom like he owns the school, "Hey, Y/N-ah, the professor said you can't leave without giving me a hug first. What's up?"

The room echoes with cheers, and it only makes the boy's grin wider. Some of your classmates nudge at you and others whine in jealousy — you cross your arms. The last thing you're about to give Haechan is satisfaction from getting a reaction out of you.

"What's down?" you roll your eyes at him. He's popular, isn't he? Why don't he just ask for a hug for someone else? Pretty sure half the University would trip over their feet rushing to him — why would he even ask you for a hug? "Literally, shut up."

"Why are you so mean to me?" he feigns hurt in his voice and you feel annoyed because the lingering stares only means more teasing you about this later. Somewhere behind Hyuck, you see Jaemin's apologetic eyes and the other boys' cheeky faces, "You were hanging out with my friends just as fine a while ago! I don't like feeling excluded, include me!"

"It's because they don't annoy me and they're pretty cool," you mentain a blank face despite being really pissed, "Unlike you."

He opens his mouth to make a comeback, but before he gets on your nerves, you roll your eyes and does the thing you do best — you run away from your problems, in this case, the problem being Lee Donghyuck.

The rest of the day wasn't anything interesting. Everything went pretty normal — you go home, eat dinner, finish up your homeworks earlier than expected, and you think of things. Okay. Maybe the last part was a bit out of the ordinary, but these days you find it easier to think about things more than just letting the thought slip off your mind.

Things change, people leave, families aren't perfect — you try to convince yourself, and it works. These thoughts are mostly suppressed in the back of your mind, preoccupied with whatever nonsense you have to accomplish, and you wanted to keep it that way.

It makes you heart hurt and you're not afraid to admit that you think it will never stop hurting. Time will heal it, you believe. Realistically, maybe not completely, but you're sure it will heal you to the point where the wound only hurts on the bad days, and you're gonna make sure to have less of those. You succeed, as you expected, keeping the thoughts to the very far back side of your mind until you eventually forget you have them.

But just because you do a good job keeping them away, it doesn't mean they're not there.

On times like this, silent and lonely, a huge house to yourself; when the house you're supposed to call home is empty besides you, your parents absent again, you're reminded of all the certain happy memories and the melancholy they bring; the people you'd rather not yearn for, and the feelings you'd rather keep burried, bottled up until they eventually get left behind, cold, forgotten. Just like they all did to you — just like he will once he gets what he wants, and that's the exact reason you wouldn't give him that.

You shake your head as soon as the words ring inside your head, closing your eyes and luring yourself to sleep to prevent yourself from dwelling on it. You wonder what tomorrow had to offer with a solemn expression, hoping to sleep soundly for tonight — you didn't.

Today was just as bad as the others, you narrate to yourself with a spent sigh, wondering how pitiful you look pinned against one of the book shelves with your nightmares towering over you, "Fancy seeing you here, sugar."

"Yeah. Can we not do that?", you try to push him to no avail, your eyes automatically searching for Jaemin so he could help you but the absence of his friends leaves you helpless. You try to look away, trying to distract yourself from the close proximity of your bodies and the lack of space in between your lips, "Is there any way I could unsubscribe from your life? If there's none, for the meantime, move."

"Say, mom wants to invite you for dinner tonight to say thanks because you know, you helped me with subject I'm struggling with," he says with a low voice, body unmoving, "Come over?"

The smile you lend him makes you look stronger than you feel, and the push you served him lacked in strength, "If your mom didn't tell me back then that you're indeed her son, I would have thought you're adopted because of your parents' kindness. I'm busy. Don't worry, I'll make sure to come over when you're not there."

"Oh? She's playing hard to get?" Hyuck says, still dangerously close and all of a sudden, you feel a sudden urge to wipe the grin he's sporting in his lips with your own, "I — like — that," he punctuates each word with a mocking tilt of his head and your fists shake.

Donghyuck's known for his bad boy reputation, and it's getting on your nerves now. The display on power he shows everyone, the teasing smirks tugging up his lips and the way he flirts — they don't matter, because you just see him as bad. Bad for your health, bad for your mind, bad for your heart. He's not the type who does crazy shit, offends laws and overall throws their lives away, no. He's the type that screams danger, walks on burning wires with a wicked grin on his face — one look at his eyes and you're gone, a taste of his lips and you'll want more. You don't like it.

Whether it was out of anger or just to stop yourself from doing something stupid, you didn't have the time to figure out because not even two whole seconds after the words left his mouth, you're doing the thing again — running away. Although it was not as simple as you made it seem. No, your life is never that simple and Donghyuck just never gives up — you learned that the hard way. For the rest of the afternoon, Donghyuck doesn't stop appearing in your line of view, popping up with the same words as the last.

You would say it angers you that he just won't back off, but that would be lying to yourself and you already lied to yourself a handful of times. To be true, you lived for it — you love the chase, and you notice. You notice the way his eyes linger on you every now and then, the heart fluttering smile he sends you when nobody is looking and the way it drives him crazy when you smile at everyone that is not him, playing the oblivious card to all his antics.

It's like a sick little game for you, and what's crazy is that you don't really want to win. A stronger emotion overpowers your coldness towards him — a feeling you're not yet ready to admit — making you want to give in, but also wanting him to earn it. You don't want the victory — you want to wrestle and lose. You want to feel his love and be overcome by it, you want to be in his arms but not willingly. You want a chase, you want him to play the game that you planned to lose, you want him to drive you wild until you have no choice but let him in. You want to see what he has under his sleeve. You don't want to defeat him — you want to challenge him. Never did you feel guilt.

There is a first to everything, as people say, and if the way something bubbled up your chest during dismissal when you saw Haechan's devastated face after Jaemin came up to you, all sweet smiles and gentle eyes, was something to hold onto, then it's most probably right. "I'm throwing a party later. Wanna come? I mean you always do… but since you know, were kinda friends now, I'd like you to come with us as our friend."

"Later?" you tilt your head to the side and smile, and you weren't even doing this to rile Donghyuck up but you lock eyes with him before grinning widely to Jaemin and the others behind him, "Sure, I don't have anything planned later, anyway."

"Thank God you agreed! I thought you wouldn't," Jaemin's smile was bright but it did not distract you from the sad glint in Haechan's eyes, "I'll make sure to have extra cherries for you, since you seem to love them."

"Oh babe, they're my favorite," you scrunch your nose up, and you watch Jaemin laugh before waving them bye with the words 'I'll see you guys later' and walking away. Once you're out from their sight, you lean to the nearest wall and clutch your constantly hurting chest — guilt is something you hate, and with the pain it brings you, it sure seems to hate you just as much, if not more.

The guilt is long forgotten later that night when Renjun shows up in front of your house by 8pm, making a comment about how nice your house is. You shrug at him, not really fond of the place but you still offer him a kind smile and tell him that he's free to come by whenever he wants, so as the other boys. The ride to Jaemin's house was surprisingly not long, the two of you live pretty close to each other. The whole time you were inside the car was fun, Renjun playfully complimenting you through insults and you two share a banter with the radio tuned down. By the time you arrive at the party, it's already in full swing and you see the rest, Jaemin and Jeno waiting for you and Renjun outside.

"Hey," Jaemin says before slinging an arm to your shoulders, "You look pretty, but I hope you're comfortable because those shoes like a pain in the ass."

"It is," you hum, "and it will be a pain in your ass if I kick you with it later because your party disappointed me."

Jeno just grunts beside you, Renjun following closely behind, and he clicks his tongue, "You get so bratty once you're comfortable with people, don't you?"

You only shrug, offering him a smile as they lead you to the drinks. As promised, Jaemin's left you a bowl of cherries for you to snack on, Renjun not leaving your side even when you insist he go alongside Jeno and Jaemin who are currently enjoying themselves. You already know how to spend your night — just like this, and Renjun assures you that it's totally fine to want to go to a party just because and not socialize, because that's exactly what he does too. You smile at his thoughtfulness, the gentle aura around the boys you never expected but is not unwelcomed, and you wonder if Hyuck is like this too.

Hyuck? Did you just call him Hyuck? You're not even that close!

You planned everything so clearly, you go to the party looking peachy, sit down with the bowl of cherries Jaemin gave you and maybe have a few shots — you had two, and that's enough, but boy, parties can drive you wild. That's the only excuse you have on why right now, you're in the middle of a circle with Lee Jeno, stuck in a game of Too Hot, pressed up against each other with hands behind your backs, "Wait, we have to do it here?"

"Well, how else are we supposed to know you're not touching each other if we're not watching you?" a girl from the circle says, and you remember her from your Math class. You shake your head, "No, I'm not kissing Jeno in front of you, perverts," your comment makes Jeno giggle, agreeing with you but you just roll your eyes when they all just shrug at you — you have to do it, just because you're Y/N and you're too stubborn to back down.

You sigh, offering Jeno a smile which he mirrors and makes a snarky remark about how you're probably gonna give up after five seconds. You roll your eyes playfully, "I'm not drunk enough for this," you say, wanting to grab a shot but before you can do so, Jeno is pulling you close to a kiss, and the last thing you remember was the cheers around you before you drown into it, mind focused on keeping your hands to yourself.

He tasted like the dessert Jaemin served, but there was no trace if alcohol in him nor Jaemin, you realized. You want to laugh at how ridiculous it was, them not even drinking when they were the ones who wanted to throw this party. Through the whole thing, you realized something. Jeno is soft spoken, all about eye smiles and cats but for the whole time you hanged out with them, you realized that Jeno is someone who possesses strong duality, and that's exactly what kissing him felt. He started soft and playfully, ever so often giggling with each other but it only takes a scream of 'you're supposed to make-out, not all that mushy shit' for him to dive in deeper and the moment you to dared to push your tongue out, you knew you were in for a ride, the smirk tugging on his lips proving that he's amused by your daring action.

Jeno is competitive, almost as competitive as you, you're willing to give him that, but letting someone overpower you without much struggle is not something you're known for, and you figure that you should find a way to make him lose after seven minutes passed and neither of you was near losing. You let a moan slip past your lips, Jeno's hands flying to your waist to pull you closer as if on instinct and the two of you burst out laughing alongside the crowd. Somewhere along the blurs, they joke around about how cute Jeno is and the boy just laughs.

You go back to where Renjun is, finally done with the game of Too Hot and he shakes his head at you, showing you that he filmed the whole thing. It's probably not the best idea, but even if you only became friends a couple of months ago, you have been schoolmates with Renjun for so long and you know the boy is harmless. You just laugh at his antics, "Don't use that weirdly, Huang."

"Oh, believe me, I won't. I just want to show Jeno how pathetic that was," he laughs alongside you, shoulders shaking, "You're really wild. I never understood how people approach you when you're so quiet, but maybe they all already saw this side of you and now, I know."

"Yeah, at one point, they all did. And our school is not even that big, everyone knows everyone and I'm friends with them. Well, except…", you shrug instead of saying his name. Renjun nods in understanding, "And I'm not wild. I just do really bad things… and I do them very well."

Renjun almost choking on his laughter was the highlight of the night, and that says a lot because the people who played the game saw you and Jeno almost make out in the middle of the whole party. A half smile forms on your lips as you look around, bodies pressed against each other around you, Jaemin and Jeno stacking cups to build a tower on the side, everything surrounding you felt so close yet so far, soaked in red lights but all you could see is yellow.

And it dawns to you.

This is what cool people do. This is what you don't want to do. And so, with a smile and a kiss on the cheek, you left the boys behind at the party despite their offers of driving you home — you have no intentions to go home; you have no home to go to. What you have is a house, people who gave you life and deprived you of everything else that money can't buy.

You're out of it, walking carelessly without a clear destination. You had enough fun for tonight and it's time to be sad now. You walk, and walk, and walk with nothing and everything inside your head at once, unbothered by the horrors of the dark and humanity. You're out of it, maybe that's why you're in this situation. Your brain is foggy and messy and you're inside your nightmare's car, eyes occasionally meeting every now and then.

He didn't bring you to a romantic place up the hill, he doesn't drive you to a nice park, but he drives you up to a high place, to an abandoned building, led you to the rooftop and offered you the sight of the city of stars and the glistening city lights under your feet — the whole drive was silent, unlike the one you spent with Renjun, but it felt so nice to be silent for a while. It also feels nice that someone found you worthy enough to bring you to a place so dear to them.

Donghyuck seems warm outside the school — his thighs still clad in tight jeans, but instead of the leather, another shitty stereotype he goes along with, he's wearing a much more comfortable hoodie. Outside of the school, you needed to play no roles; Donghyuck is the soft person he is, and you're still his exact opposite.

"Why were you outside?", he breaks the silence, eyes locked to the view in front of you. Your shoulders shake, "I was from the party, and decided it's the perfect time to not be happy," you smirk, "You're probably mad that I went to Jaemin's party and lied to you, but I'm just not the family dinner kind of person. It's fine, you probably hate me right now."

"I don't. I was just curious," he shrugs and it takes you everything to stop yourself from cooing at the way his lips is forming a pout — he's your enemy, you remind yourself, but damn, the things he makes you wanna do, "Although I'm quite surprised. You don't leave parties unless they're over, so why now?"

"Things change." you simply say as if you weren't just thinking about the cruel ways you could leave him wanting more after a kiss, about the way you could treat him good, as if it's the most normal thing in the world, "I already got my fun, I got what I want. I figure I take my leave."

His expression remained lost, ever so subtly scrunching his brows and you laugh at the words that spurt out his mouth, "You, you're interesting."

"I know. That's why you like me, right? Don't try to look shocked now. Yes, I, Y/N, know that you, Donghyuck, is flirting with me more often than not," you roll your eyes at his pout.

"Can I ask a dumb question?", he mutters silently, eyes still not meeting yours and you had to hold a laugh, "Better than anyone I know, if you're wondering."

"You're always mean to me even if you're friends with my friends, and this is the longest conversation we had," he shakes his head, finally looking at you, "Why do you hate me so much?"

A bittersweet smile makes it's appearance on your face, nothing compared to his crestfallen one. You're out of it, you remind yourself again, and maybe that's why you're currently spitting out shit you'd most probably regret later, but you allow yourself to fall apart, the wall you built around to protect you disappearing slowly as a sad smile overcomes the bittersweet one, "I don't hate you. I just know what you want and I like the chase."

His face screamed confusion, and you know it would have been the best if you just let him be instead of providing him with answers — there are things that are better left unsaid, and you're sure that you're pretty sober and conscious, just stupid, "Why do you want the chase so much, then?"

Your lips dripped of sweets and honey as you spoke, a wistful look in your eyes as you stared down to the city lights under the building, "I want to feel wanted." A silence envelopes the two of you and you take it as a request to continue, "People have a tendency of leaving me when they get what they want. My parents stopped being parents when I could already live and take care of myself since they are confident they already have a child to take over the bussiness, and my best friend left when she already knew all my secrets. People stop looking for you when you're no longer interesting, when you no longer serve purpose to them, when they already got what they want. The chase is better than the end game."

Donghyuck makes a sound similar to being punched in the throat, and at that moment, he felt something fall — maybe his heart broke for you, maybe it fell deeper for you, maybe both. Eitherway, that night, the two of you was closer than ever, crying together, and at that moment, you were sure that everything is now changed with Lee Donghyuck.

Your life is a huge spiral of wrong decisions and thoughts, you prove when Monday comes in the form of Lee Haechan harshly pulling you out to a more secluded place, only some students around the corner, and his angry expression tells you that nothing really changed.

"Why the fuck were you kissing Lee Jeno?", you frown at his words, and you remember Renjun's text earlier that day about Donghyuck stealing his phone and most likely seeing the video. You knew it won't end well when he showed it to you, but nobody really is to blame here because why the fuck would Renjun think that a certain Lee would steal his phone? "Y/N, answer me!"

"Jesus, Lee Donghyuck! You can't just lose your temper like this when the slightest of inconvenience happens! You're not entitled of me!", you strip his hands of your wrist, "I kiss whoever I want. My body, my choice — and if you don't respect that, I'll make sure nobody finds yours, Lee."

He finally breathes, arms crossing and clearly annoyed, but his pout almost makes you want to apologize, "I really hate you."

"It was just a game, for the love of fuck," the profanities keep going out of your mouth out of annoyance, and you just want to end this now — possibly with your lips against his, "And in case you're wondering, I hate you too. Why are you even mad?!"

"Hey, what's happening?", Jaemin comes running, panting and moves in the middle of you and Donghyuck. Renjun and Jeno was behind him, the two moving to Hyuck, and the boy just whines, "Jeno! Why were you kissing her?"

"I just told you!"

"I'm not talking to you, Y/N!", he grits his teeth, "Jeno!"

"Why are you so bothered by it anyway?!", you yell loudly at him, annoyed because you're aware that people are starting to stare. Haechan snaps his head towards your direction, annoyed that you won't even let the others speak, "Because I like you, Y/N, and you just kissed Jeno!"

"Oh my God, Hyuck! Can't you just be Elsa and let it go? It's just a kiss — it's not like Jeno and I married behind your back? I literally have to watch you suck faces with people who confesses to you every day of the week, and you're losing your shit over me and Jeno kissing?", you roll your eyes. Now, people are actually staring, "So annoying. Why am I even in love with you?" you make a show of childishly stepping at his foot before walking away, leaving them and the people watching gaping, a hint of smile on your lips.

You walk towards the lone tree on the field, Donghyuck following shortly after, catching his breathe. Once he looks decent enough, he speaks, "W-was that a confession?"

"Eyes up here, loser." you say to him, and once he complies, you step on your toes to catch his lips in a chaste kiss, "You owe me a date, and thanks."

"What?" he says, dazed, and you take pity on the boy. For the first time in years, a soft expression creeps up your face, and you shrug as you speak, "Thank you. Just thank you."

Donghyuck's smile mirrors yours, and it feels like game over to you; there are two ways this would end, you break each other or together, the two of you goes for forevermore. Eitherway, loving Lee Donghyuck is art — there's no right way to do it, you just have to do what feels right. As your hands intertwine, you realize that by the end of the chase, you never really lost. You had Donghyuck, and that's enough to consider it as a win.

Loud cheers from behind Donghyuck erupts, the three boys laughing crazily and basically wheezing. Friends. Finally, they're your friends too, and as they tackle the two of you into a group hug, you felt something you never felt before.

It feels warm, it feels like you belong, it feels like purple. It feels like something you never felt — home. You're home. A place where you don't need to play shitty roles, a place where you can cry and smile and laugh freely, a place where you don't need to be interesting to be worthy. People usually are the happiest at home, and it never made sense to you until now. Maybe you thought wrong before, maybe the end game is better than the chase, and this is the reward for holding on that long. You could live like this. You want to live like this. Forever.

Forever and more.

[enigmasalad]

Weddings Are Places We Don’t Belong

Deceit sighed as he walked into his apartment. Today had been rather exhausting. Sure, being a bartender at a high-class club doesn’t seem like it, but it is. From making drinks for finicky and snobbish customers to keeping figurative and literal tabs on others (for his side business as an informant) he had his hands full. There was one older gentleman saying something completely homophobic as he ordered a scotch on the rocks that he so totally didn’t manipulate to give a rather hefty tip. Another lady (who was most likely going through a midlife crisis) he was serving an expensive cocktail to loudly and bluntly asked about the scarred side of his face. Yeah that was a completely idiotic and bitchy move, but Deceit would milk this opportunity for all it was worth by basically making her feel horribly guilty. So he got another large tip and satisfaction of this woman looking like she was mortified at herself. So after work like that (and a rather threatening text from a customer of his informant business he just shrugged off) he just wanted to relax with his boyfriend and their two headed snake Jekyll and Hyde. However, as he took off his shoes, he heard a frustrated shout followed by a loud crash.

“Dammit Remus.” Remus was probably having another outburst, which meant either broken furniture, walls or even fingers. Deceit entered the kitchen to see what the extent of the damages. There were broken plates and glasses on the floor. Knives and somehow spoons were embedded in cupboards and in the walls. Heck Remus managed to have a fucking skillet stuck to the ceiling by some substance that Deceit didn’t even want to guess the origin of. And of course, In the center was Remus, hair wild and  eyes even wilder. Tears flowed freely down his face and his slightly sharper than average teeth were bared in fury or pain. There were glass and ceramic in his feet, hands, leg and arms. He had his arm on their cutting board and a cleaver high in the air right over it. Deceit announced his presence by clearing his throat. The crazed man dropped the cleaver that was in his hands once he spotted Deceit. “Dee..” he said, voice broken and raw from the amount of screaming he’s probably done. “Stand still Remus.” Deceit ordered. And still Remus stood. Deceit swept up the mess, which took forever.  There was ceramic and glass everywhere. The man tried to get what he could but was certain one of them will have a piece of glass in their feet sometime this week. Once he was done, it was time for stage two of the outburst aftercare, treating Remus’s injuries. Deceit lead his now quiet and drained boyfriend to a dining chair and went to get the first aid supplies. When he came back, he decided to get to the bottom of this.

 “What made you want to impale our walls with spoons this time Remus?” he asked as he tweezed glass and ceramic out of his boyfriend’s body. “Shut the fuck up.” Remus growled. Deceit rolled his eyes. If Remus was going to be like this, fine. He can play bitchy too. He sighed and put the tweezers down and looked at Remus with an indifferent expression. “Alright, then you can tweeze the glass out of yourself and I’ll be in our room since you can handle this yourself.” Deceit said, starting to get up. “Wait! Don’t!” Remus cried, head suddenly snapping up and eyes desperate. “Then I need you to tell me what’s going on Remus. You know I won’t actually leave you, but you also know I can’t help you if you won’t cooperate.” Deceit got back down on his knees and resume cleaning up Remus. Remus shakily sighed in defeat. He let out a humorous laugh. “S-So I found out Roman has an Instagram.” Remus started. Deceit practically growled at that name. Roman. He fucking hated that bastard. Not as much as Remus, but close. He felt sick Remus felt this kind of pain again from his twin. It had been years since he saw the pompous dumbass, but the hate was still there. You see, Deceit knew Remus and his brother Roman since middle school. He quickly made friends with Remus (back then Deceit saw him as a tool, but “unfortunately” hormones and feelings had different ideas in the future) and heard about Roman from him. Apparently once the twins entered middle school, Roman decide to become one of those fake, disgusting popular kids. According to Remus, Roman went even so far as to publicly insult his childhood best friend named Virgil.   Their first encounter with the anxious and pale kid was in the boy’s bathroom. Remus had led Dee to the poor boy. He decided to follow Remus’s wishes and let the boy join their group. Virgil agreed, so they were a trio from then on. They spent time together talking shit about the popular kids and plotting public humiliation for them. It was the best fun any misfit could have really. However, their plans quickly turned into revenge when Roman, egged on by his “friends”, shoved Remus in a locker. Deceit picked the locker open to find Remus pale, shaking and unusually quiet. They all quickly agreed to make the popular kids lives hell once high school started. Sure, Dee handled most of the revenge (planting drugs in lockers, framing cheating, etc) but it was a group effort. Watching popular kid after popular kid get expelled, sent to prison or disowned had the trio raise a red solo cup of booze to victory. Now it was on to target Roman. That’s when the bastard had a change of heart. Roman finally snapped out of the need of being the popular kid and as he did with poor Virgil, broke ties with them. He called them out for the peer pressuring and told them he would rather try to be a better person with no friends than be a villain and have many of them. Most of the lunchroom clapped. The small group didn’t. In fact, Deceit wanted to throw up. It was truly disgusting the amount of bullshit Roman spewed out. Like hell he was going to be a better person. Remus left a dent in the metal lunch table when he slammed down his fist in rage. Soon everything fell apart, because Roman was telling the truth. He wrote apology letters to everyone he’s hurt, joined theater and developed his own personality, or at least shown the personality he was “forced” to hide. What’s worse is Virgil started to believe him. Roman handed Virgil a literal fucking apology essay and begged for forgiveness. “I-I know I’ve hurt you beyond the point of fixing our relationship. It was stupid to do that to you when you were my best friend! Its fine if you never forgive me, but I will always regret hurting you and not treating you like a friend.” Roman looked like he was going to burst into tears. Virgil’s eyes were wide. Deceit growled. “Don’t listen to him. He’s lying, as usual;. You should burn his apology.” Deceit said, staring at the pathetic brother. Before Virgil or Roman could speak, Remus acted. He punched Roman in the gut HARD. When Roman doubled over, they left. Virgil followed, but Deceit saw his hesitation.

One day, Virgil came to Deceit’s home where he lived alone. He was obviously uncomfortable. “I read the apology.” He said. “Was it as fake as we thought?” Deceit asked with a laugh. Virgil didn’t laugh. He swallowed thickly. “No. In fact, I realized something.” The look Virgil gave Deceit still haunts him in his dreams.

“I’m no better than him. In fact, we’ve been in the same boat.” Deceit rolled his eyes. “Virgil you sound ridiculo-“ “No, I don’t. I realize we both are the same! We’ve been manipulated to do the opposite of what we’ve wanted to do, all for the sake of a fake friendship! I’ve helped you get people sent to prison for fucks sake!” Virgil almost shouted.

Deceit snapped.

“Watch your fucking mouth Petrov. You forget what we’ve done for you. Without us, you’d be nothing!” “No, with you and Remus, all I am is nothing! I’ve been a fucking tool all this time! You’ve never cared for me at all!”

Both Virgil and Deceit stood up. Deceit clenched his fist to prevent him from decking Virgil. And by the look Virgil was giving him, Virgil was silently daring him to do it. “If Roman is trying to be a better person, then maybe its time for me to try as well. I don’t care if I’m alone. At least I won’t be fake like you.”

Deceit was about to punch Virgil when the door burst in. It was Remus. He looked..disturbed. His grin was WAY too wide and tears were falling. There was something wrong, horribly wrong. Virgil backed up towards the back door, like he knew something was about to happen. “Remus what the f-“ “I killed Roman.” Deceit’s hand fell to his side as he stared at Remus in shock. He knew Remus was crazy but- “H-He tried apologizing, so I grabbed mama’s cast iron and just-“ Remus make the violent motion of hitting someone over the head with an object. He chuckled and sobbed. “I blacked out and woke up here! I-I killed him! I killed my own brother!!” Remus said hysterically. It was at that moment Virgil bolted. Remus’s head snapped up and started to run after the emo, most likely to leave no witnesses, but some pathetic and sentimental part of Deceit held Remus back. “Calm the fuck down!” Deceit demanded. “He’s escaping! He’s going to tell the police! Let me kill him for you!” Remus screamed as he struggled. As Deceit developed bruises and scratches from trying to restrain the crazed man, he knew Remus was right. Virgil was going to alert some kind of authority. They didn’t have time. They packed up their shit and left before Virgil had the chance to snitch. They found out Roman was alive with miraculously less damage than anyone thought. Plus, Virgil hadn’t said a word, saying he had no clue where Remus or Deceit were, but it was too late. They were gone. And that’s how they ended up in this apartment in London. This was the reason he was picking glass out of his tormented boyfriend in stewing silence. Deceit wrapped Remus’s arms, legs, hands and feet in bandages. He finally decided to ask the question that he was dying to know. “Why on Earth were you looking for Roman’s Instagram?” Remus chuckled, a little more alive now. “I was going to anonymously send him chain mail letters and links to vore porn. And crocs!” Remus admitted. “Jesus Christ Remus.” Deceit sighed. “But I saw that he’s engaged. To three people! They must have kinky sex. I didn’t know he was that desperate for cock. Or ass.” Deceit blinked. Three people, with Roman? What poor, gullible people decided to stick Roman? Di “Is it Virgil?” he asked. “Eh one of them is. Another is like, a sexy teacher looking guy who’d I’d let spank me with a ruler and the other is this chubby guy I’d think would have very squishy insides. I’d like to make a onesie out of him. I’d cuddle with you by a fireplace and drink wine with you wearing that.” Remus said with a grin Deceit chuckled slightly. Most people find Remus disturbing but not him. He found Remus childish and just misunderstood. It was endearing, borderline charming. Remus grinned brighter at the chuckle, but then his face was pained once more. “I just got in my head again. I hate him and I wish even to this day I could finish the job! And yet-“

Remus let out a shaky sigh. Deceit stood up and led his boyfriend to their bedroom. Stage three was comfort and reassurance, so Deceit eased Remus onto their bed and went over to their dresser. On it was the terrarium Jekyll and Hyde lived in. The snake immediately tried to slide up Deceit’s arm. Deceit held his arm up and one of the snake’s heads flicked its tongue out, tickling Deceit’s cheek. He walked back over to the bed and sat next to Remus, letting the snake slither and get comfortable on Remus. Remus giggled as the snake’s tongue flickered against his neck. “Aw they’re giving me kisses!”

“They’re not concerned about you. They just think you smell bad.” Deceit said. “We have the best sons. I love them so much.” Remus sighed as he snuggled the duo headed snake. Deceit smiled softly. Within minutes, he, Remus and their “sons” were cuddling. Remus turned his head to Deceit and looked at him with a soft kind of look that was always only for him. “Thank you.” He said. “It’s no problem.” Deceit responded. Remus looked at the ceiling. “I just…miss home sometimes. Yes, even Roman, even though I want to send him to hell. I miss causing trouble with Virgil. Making him terrified of his shadow. Watching him shrink away when I flirted with him.” Deceit listened carefully, stroking Remus’s messy hair with careful fingers. He listened about the places they’d hang out at back home, like the abandoned strip mall or the playground at night. Remus chattered about the alleyways that had the best dumpsters to dive in and the convenience store bagged pickles that always smelled funny. How back then Deceit easily snuck into liquor stores and bars and somehow always got them free drinks. Then Remus closed his eyes and his voice grew shaky. “I miss mama. I miss her hugs, her food, her songs when she’d clean, when she’d yell at me for stabbing birds with sharpened sticks. W-When she would try to make me bring you to our house cause you were “too skinny”. But she always looked at me differently than Roman. I-I just don’t know what I did wrong for them to hate me. What did I do?”

“She loved you, I think. Just not the way you needed. She was too focused on reforming you to society’s unrealistic standards, she didn’t take time to understand that there’s nothing wrong with you. That you just have an enhanced view on reality that cowards are too blind to see.” Deceit answered. So, there they lay, Deceit whispering reassurances and Remus giving him and their “Sons” kisses and affection. This was just another day in their hellish life but, they had each other.

“Weddings suck anyways. You just watch a princess and a butler shove cake into each other’s mouths and say how much they love each other even though they’ll most likely hate each other in ten years.” Remus grinned the dangerous smile that didn’t make Deceit’s chest feel warm and his cheeks flush. “The only release they get is when death does them part!” Deceit laughed loudly. That was true! “Virgil’s made a huge mistake. I hope he’s happy when he dies.” Remus said. “Probably not. He’s never happy.” Deceit hummed. “No one will be happy in all honesty.” Remus agreed.

Deceit’s life is rough. He’s a bartender for snobs and an informant for the criminal underworld. He lives in an apartment with knives and spoons in the walls and glass on the floor. He has a boyfriend who has violent meltdowns and who destroys their home on some days, and others just does the oddest things. They have a freak of nature snake as their only family members. And you know what? It was perfect.

Remus turned over with a smirk and pulled Deceit closer to him.

“Lets have some comfort fucking Dee.”

Deceit sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Dammit Remus.”

[jemej3m]

radio silence (chapter 1: misunderstandings)

twinyards week - day 1!!!! im going to be compiling these all in an ao3 fic at the end of the week, because they’ll all be the same au, and ((mostly)) in chronological order. 

i hope u enjoy!  

tw warning for child sexual and physical abuse, self harm, canon-typical violence, swearing, homophobia (aaron and andrew ((and nicky))’s backstories)

*

Ever since Andrew could remember—which was pretty much forever—he’d had an imaginary friend.

Well, sort of. His imaginary friend was a very distinct voice in his head called Aaron, who didn’t like his mother because she would always hit him, and leave him locked in his room whilst she went off with needles and men. Andrew was sometimes perplexed at how specific his imagination could be.

Aaron knew about Samuel, and James, and Harrison, because Andrew had told him, hidden away in a small, dark closet with his body shaking and aching. Why do they touch you? Aaron had asked, sounding upset. Probably because Andrew was upset, too.

I don’t know, his seven-year-old self had whimpered, lost and scared and alone. I don’t know.

Imaginary friends fell out of fashion pretty fast when Andrew finally went to school: Andrew Doe, the foster kid. Andrew Doe, the weirdo who talked to himself. Don’t go near the short one: He’s a freak.

He spent his time instead in the small, decrepit libraries that those schools had to offer, hiding in the corner with a book that was probably too hard for him to read but he didn’t care: He waddled through it, Aaron asking about what happened at the end of every chapter. He couldn’t read as well as Andrew could. Probably because he wasn’t real.

It was the realisation that Aaron was most certainly a detailed, intricate figure of Andrew’s imagination that forced him to stop talking to him. This lasted for years: The silence was almost echoey in Andrew’s head as he moved from home to home, none of them any good.

Until Cass.

She was warm and gentle. She baked him cookies and taught him how. Richard took him to the movies and drove him too and from school. They were the kindest people Andrew had ever met, and Andrew clung onto them fervently.

Then Drake, their son, came home. He was tall and broad shouldered and smiled like a wolf: He pinned Andrew down into the mattress and Andrew wished his pillows would just swallow him. Mornings were spent squirrelling away bloodied sheets and staring at himself in the mirror as hopeless tears rolled over young adolescent cheeks. Why me? He’d thought, desperate. Why me?

Andrew, Aaron said, astonished after all the years of radio silence. Is that you?

“You’re not real.” Andrew whispered. “You’re not real.”

Is something wrong? Something has to be wrong. Are you hurt?

Andrew ignored him in favour of finding the razor tucked under the spare face clothes in the sink’s spare drawer. When he climbed into the shower, he watched the water dilute his blood, and thought of the way that everything had a cost.

*

Officer Phil Higgins was an overbearing man who knew Andrew from a program for troubled kids within his area, where he gathered them all into a circle and forced them into bonding activities. Board games. Backyard baseball. ‘Buddy’ forming activities. Andrew was required to go, due to his ‘lacking social skills’, but he almost never participated. The pig never pushed him, never asked why he wore black long-sleeves in the middle of a Californian summer and never encroached on Andrew’s personal space, which was why Andrew continued to put up with the man’s antics.

The only actual conversation he and the pig ever had was when the man held Andrew back after one afternoon session, much to Andrew’s irritation.

“I went to a baseball game on the weekend,” he said, like it was something Andrew wanted to hear. “I met someone very interesting.”

Andrew stepped out of his space and made for the exit: When Phil said “Andrew, please listen,” he stood, the revolted shudder making the entire frame of his body tremble. He glanced over his shoulder for merely a second, but the officer took his chance. “I met a boy just like you. He looked identical to you. I think you might have been separated in the system at birth. His name is Aaron.”

That was enough for Andrew, who sprinted away from Phil’s curious gaze. In a brief lapse of control, he silently yelled at Aaron: You’re real?

Yes. Are you?

Yes, Andrew thought, devastated.

I met a police officer, today. He said that you’re real, Andrew. That you’re here, in California. Are you? Can I see you?

Fuck off, Andrew snarled, wishing he could run away from the voice inside his own fucking head. He didn’t want Aaron anywhere near the Spear family, with Cass’s gentle hugs and Richard’s genuine laughs. He didn’t want Aaron near Drake’s malicious intentions, facing the same fate that Andrew did every night. Fuck off, don’t talk to me, don’t come near me.

Andrew—

Andrew shut himself inside his bedroom and made a feral snarling noise, wishing he could cut Aaron out of his head. Rain splattered carelessly against the small window of the bathroom, so uncharacteristic of California’s sunny skies and relentless cheer that he had to look away.

Everything was wrong. Everything was so wrong.

It wasn’t until the pig himself came over and explained to Cass and Richard what had happened that Andrew decided to do something preventative: From the hallway, Drake grinned, fisting a tuft of Andrew’s hair in his too-tight grasp.

“We’ll have so much fun together,” He whispered against the shell of Andrew’s ear. “The three of us. Won’t that be exciting?”

That night, Andrew crept out with a flask of gasoline from Richard’s shed and a box of matches before Drake could sneak his way into Andrew’s room, walking to his school under the veneer of darkness.

He watched the baseball pitch burn, sitting in the batter’s cage and letting the heat lick his sweat from his skin. When the police arrived he went gladly.

“Don’t let there be any more kids,” Andrew insisted as he was being shoved into a cruiser. Phil Higgins looked at him, perplexed. “Promise me that there won’t be anymore.”

“Andrew, what are you talking about?”

It was useless. He burrowed into the corner of the police car and let the cool metal of his handcuffs around his bloody wrists draw him out of his head.

He did it for Aaron. He did it for the voice in his head, who could be real after all.

If that didn’t make him insane, he didn’t know what did.

*

The first time Andrew and Aaron met—in the parking lot of the Seattle Juvenile Detention Facility—they’d just stared at each other. Their mother had been too sick to come all the way to greet him, something about a chronic illness that probably wasn’t very chronic. Instead Luther and Maria, and their squirrelly son Nicholas, welcomed Andrew with open arms.

“We’re very glad to have you,” Luther said.

“Let’s go home,” Maria insisted.

They sat in the back of the rental car, venturing back to the airport with Nicky sitting purposefully between the two brothers. Forever an ice-breaker.

Andrew? Aaron asked, hesitantly. Andrew looked out the window. Please—I just want to know if I’m actually insane or not.

I hate that word, Andrew said, scathingly. Aaron looked down to where his hands were entangled in his lap.

Sorry, he said, and actually sounded like he meant it. He was kinda pathetic. Andrew finally looked around Nicky at his brother, who caught his eye. Aaron was littered with bruises and sickly pale, even if he tried to cover it up with his loose polo shirt.

Does she hurt you? Andrew asked.

Andrew—

I asked you a fucking question.

Slowly, Aaron nodded. Andrew settled back into his chair and glared at the seat in front of him, Maria’s tangle of curls peeking through the gap between the chair’s headrest and body, wondering what kind of woman Tilda Minyard would be, to give up one son and not the other, and then treat the one she had like shit. Ideas wafted across the empty expanse of his mind, forcefully blank to avoid exploitation.

That was fine. Andrew would cross that bridge when he came to it.

*

“No.” Andrew said. It was the first time Andrew had ever spoken to Luther, six months since being initiated into the Minyard-Hemmick household. He’d spent that time convincing Aaron of his plan to get rid of their biological mother, who continued to hit Aaron even when Andrew warned her not to. Aaron didn’t want his mother to die. 

(She’s family, Andrew, he’d said silently. She’s family. Andrew had just looked at him and reminded him that he was family, and that they had always been there for each other, and that there was no way he’d leave Aaron now.) 

“No?” Luther inquired. “But Cass and Richard would love to see you. They were very shocked when you were arrested. They’d wanted to adopt you, Andrew.”

“No.” Andrew insisted, voice hoarse. “You do not let them anywhere near Aaron.”

Luther still wasn’t sold. “Why not?”

“Drake - he -” Raped me. Because someone always was. 

Luther’s smile was beseeching and patronising, and drained every last rivulet of energy from within Andrew, who was exhausted and angry at the world. He’d just found his family - why was fate so insistent on tearing it away from him again? 

“I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding, Andrew.”

Misunderstanding. Misunderstanding. Misunderstanding. 

Right. Of course. 

Andrew turned on his heel and marched out of Luther’s perfect little living room, where he was sat on the white linen couches with a cup of tea and his little wooden cross on the mantelpiece. By the time Andrew had grabbed his coat from the Hemmick’s pristine entrance corridor and ignored Maria’s inquiry about staying for dinner, the plan was already in place. 

People always underestimated the lengths to which Andrew would go to protect what little family he had: He supposed that lack of insight about Andrew’s limits would come in handy when orchestrating everything under their noses. The only person who knew him, really, was Aaron, but he spent most of his time hooked up on their mother’s shit to read whatever Andrew was up to now. 

Andrew would kill Tilda. Nicky would come back from Germany. Luther would forget all about the Spears, and Aaron would be safe. 

Perfect.  

*

twin telepathy!!!

(is dark rn im sorry but i promise we’ll get through all the canon stuff and then explore their relationship post-canon and get to that SWEET SWEET DOMESTICITY, i promise anon :ppp )

[haikyuu-philia]

Hello, Can I please about scenario with Semi where his fem!s/o picks him up from training even though she goes to another school?

FINALLY A REQUEST FOR MY BOY SEMI! THANK YOU, KIND STRANGER (*O*)

-----

Place of Yours | Semi x fem!Reader

-> 1360 words

A normal Friday. Actually a not-so-normal Friday, but you hadn't told Semi yet.

While you were sitting in the train and checking the route to his school grounds, he had to deal with much more physical tasks.

In order to be prepared for the final versus Karasuno, their coach drilled the boys of Shiratorizawa even more than usual. 20 laps instead of 15, as the warm-up.

No wonder that he felt completely drained after the intense practice.

He showered longer to prevent his muscles from hurting the next day. When he entered the locker room as the last one, the daily chit-chat was happening.

Looking forward to his bed, he didn't really listen to the conversations. Tendou was teasing Goshiki, Shirabu was complaining about the noise. Nothing out of the ordinary.

At the moment he would much rather listen to your voice, even though it would only be on the phone.

Sometimes it was hard to live in dorms at a boarding school. Semi couldn't come and go whenever he wanted to and practice was consuming so much time.

Time that he would love to spend with you. But the distance between your schools made it impossible to just go there.

The first team members already left when he had only put on his trousers so far.

To his confusion some returning footsteps echoed in the hallway until the person reached the door to the locker room.

"Semi-senpai, there's a girl waiting for you outside," one of his underclassmen called out.

It went completely silent for a minute before Tendou found his voice back first. Of course he couldn't control his snickering, much to Semi's annoyance.

His body hurt. His eyes were screaming for a break. His patience was slowly drifting away.

That he would have to decline an unknown girl's request to spend time with her or even become her boyfriend, wasn't exactly helping right now.

Still, he could only blame himself as he hadn't made his relationship status public yet. Obviously no one, except for his roommate, was aware of your existence.

Or your position in his heart.

Nevertheless he didn't see a reason why he should announce it officially. Especially Tendou would be a pain to deal with, if Semi did.

You had plans to cheer for the team at the upcoming match and his teammates would have to wait for that opportunity to figure it out themselves.

"I'm coming," the third-year mumbled while putting on his jacket.

With a flick of the wrist he swung his bag on his shoulder to leave the locker room, including those in it.

It wasn't that he had gotten a lot of love confessions before, but now he had the perfect explanation why he couldn't accept the feelings.

Sorry, I've already found my significant other.

In the end it still felt wrong to see the girls upset. He couldn't change that. So he always hoped to make it quick and short.

Finally he turned around the last corner, his chosen words on his lips while looking around to find the one that had asked for him. Then he spotted the figure next to the lamppost.

This definitely wasn't his school's uniform.

And it clicked once you started walking towards him. With this angelic, big grin of yours that he loved to see so much.

Within a breath he stood upright and glided his fingers through his hair to fix the still slightly wet mess as much as possible. He cleared his throat.

"I can't believe that you have to wear a skirt in winter. It's November!"

A bit frustrated he realized that he didn't have something in his bag to keep you warm. Besides a sweaty jersey and a soaked towel.

You stopped in front of him to shoot him a smile, which hadn't left your face during his little rant. One hand of yours reached to his forehead to brush a streak of hair out of the way.

"Said the one with wet hair," you chuckled.

A part of him still thought that you weren't standing there. It must have taken you an eternity to get here - Including the struggles to enter the grounds with a different uniform. Usually this wasn't easy.

Well, usually he would have been on his way to his dorm instead of talking to you personally.

But here you were, looking up to him: "I thought I would surprise you since it's Friday!"

Using the opportunity of you standing so close, he wrapped his arms around your quite cold body. Then he pressed a soft kiss at the top of your head.

In the beginning, affection hadn't been his cup of tea. Everytime he had wanted to hold and to touch you so desperately, but he had been too afraid to push you away.

The more time you had spent together, the more he had gotten used to showing his love, when you two were alone.

"Such a nice surprise, (Y/N). I've missed you so much," he whispered while resting his forehead at yours.

Finally you got to see a grin on your boyfriend's face.

At the same time you couldn't tell whether his cheeks had this little blush because of your presence or because of the cold. Anyway, it looked incredible cute on him.

You would do everything to stop this moment from ending: "Do you think we can sneak me into your room for the night?"

Oh, those puppy eyes. How was he supposed to resist your puppy eyes?

In the end the biggest challenge would be to bring you to the room itself without being noticed by the staff. His roommate, Reon, was the only one aware of your existence as Semi's girlfriend as it was.

"Only if SemiSemi answers all of our questions. A-L-L," a voice echoed from behind.

Simultaneously turning around, the two of you were facing a group of boys whose faces weren't unknown to you. They made Semi back off a little.

And he hated himself for the feeling of his cheeks heating up.

In the meantime you decided it would be the best thing to let him do the talking. Especially because you had close to no idea who was standing in front of you.

The red-head might be Tendou, the one that Semi was always complaining about. Next to him stood an emotionless looking giant. Probably Ushiwaka.

Still, these were only guesses since you had only seen a few pictures and had heard stories about them so far. Not at the same time, though.

"What do you want, Tendou?", Semi sighed.

By now he wasn't touching you anymore at all and was keeping his distance. Suddenly you felt colder again.

Potential Tendou grinned suspiciously before answering the question: "Just getting to know your secret. Really good, SemiSemi, really good!"

You crossed your arms in front of your chest to warm yourself. This could take a little while to deal with before you would be able to enter some heated building.

Even though it didn't exactly sound like it, the boys were more than willing to help you out.

After a short, but sarcastic conversation and asking some basic questions, like your name, they came up with a plan to sneak you in.

The boy that turned out to be the captain lend you his jacket to cover your uniform while the group took you in its middle to hide you in between. Semi totally seemed to have a fantastic squad, at least in your opinion.

Ten minutes later you had arrived at your boyfriend's room, where all boys were gathering to satisfy their need for information.

You had some good laughs. Nevertheless Semi didn't feel perfectly fine in this situation.

Sometimes his teammates teased him because of his flustered face when things like his confession to you became topics. But he remained silent in his chair.

"Sooooo, who of you is top and who is bottom?"

Obviously Tendou was the one to ask this question in order to make him blush even more.

With a loud thump your boyfriend nearly fell out of his chair as he tried to cover your ears to shield you from that perversity.

"TENDOU," he hissed.

What a lovely and extremely interesting sleepover. And definitely not a normal Friday.

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Posted: November 4th | Requests: Open | Match-ups: Closed

[stillness-in-green]

Changeling: The League (1/3)

Being some errant nerdery combining two things I love very much into one thing that is exponentially more nerdy than either thing on its own: My Hero Academia villains as Changeling: the Lost characters!

This will(/should) be a series of three posts containing some mid-length write-ups on the League of Villains, the Metahuman Liberation Army, and some odds-and-ends on other characters/alternate takes.  

Some prelude: The most prominent question that kept coming up as I was brainstorming the write-ups below was, “Is this retelling the story of My Hero Academia using Changeling: The Lost’s mechanics and world, or is this exploring Changeling: The Lost’s themes using the My Hero Academia cast?”  Would these versions of the characters be NPC villains in Izuku’s story, opponents (or possibly eventual allies) in some grand, epic clash between Heroes and Villains as begun with All Might and All for One?  Would it be the story of a corrupt system, pulled down by the PC group that was Shigaraki and his motley?  I had ideas for both, but in the end, I decided that, rather than oblige myself to the MHA canon, I was ultimately more interested in just letting the implied “story” focus on the League and their histories of loss, trauma and recovery, so that’s the spirit in which these are written.  (Though things do get a bit plottier when their story intersects with the MLA’s.)

Lastly, these are, of course, completely AU, but if you don’t know who the Liberation Army is, you’re probably still going to trip over manga spoilers, so be mindful.  

First, let me lay down some backstory!  Specifically, the story of All for One, One for All, and the lives they drew into their story...

THE PROLOGUE

There is a realm in Faerie inhabited by a pair of binary-matched Fae, All for One and One for All, styling themselves as warring brothers.  They’ve been fighting for many long generations, each in their own fashion.  All for One has tended to keep his power mostly within himself, employing many underlings, but sharing his power with very few of them.  One for All, conversely, has shared most of himself with a succession of users, and in each generation, the pair clashes, with OFA not very "present" for the battles (and thus at less risk), while AFO is able to bring more of himself to the fights.  Before each battle, each user of OFA would be "freed" for a period to find and designate a successor (who would inevitably go missing a few weeks later), before returning for the battle.  They often did this with deeply tormented feelings, but saw little escape from the pattern.  Each one hoped that they might be the one strong enough to break the cycle, as OFA told them each time was a possibility--patterns grow stronger for being repeated, after all--but none of them was able to do so until recently.  Toshinori Yagi refused to designate a successor, and finally, for his stubbornness, was recalled to do battle without one--without having passed even a fragment of OFA's power on, he was finally able to defeat AFO.              

In his defeat, AFO was cast out from Faerie.  He had little memory of who and what he was, but retained a sense for fae matters and a limited grasp on his powers.  He spent the next several years setting up shop in the local freehold, dabbling with Spring and Autumn Court matters as his fancy took him, and racking up a fair amount of renown with the latter in particular when the former found him too ruthless, and not only with humans.  One day, though, he stumbled across what would eventually become his way home--a little boy who felt startlingly familiar, black-haired with a mole on his chin.  AFO struck up a friendship, and when he eventually met the boy's father, things began to click into place--he knew this family because he once fought their matriarch, and that connection was the key to his return.  As he was once defeated by this bloodline bearing his brother's power, for his rise, he had to defeat someone of the bloodline--but he couldn’t just do it straight out.  With his brother, there were pacts in play, old bargains and arrangements.  He couldn’t just waltz in and kill Shimura Kotaro.              

One of them needed to ask. 

THE LEAGUE

Here are the League roughly as we might find them when they’ve been out long enough to build a motley, solidify their bonds somewhat, and start taking on bigger, toothier problems.  All have 7 dots of Contracts except Shigaraki, who has a modest leader bump.  Just assume he’s been out doing some level-grinding the others haven’t.

Shigaraki Tomura

Quote: “There’s always a win condition.”

Type: Gameplayer Wizened.  A trophy/souvenir of AFO’s time on Earth, Tomura survived a durance filled with little but tests in the guise of games.  Survival, combat, endurance, manual dexterity, reaction time, strategy, academics, even odd trivia--he learned them all under his Keeper’s tutelage, in preparation for the next battle with his brother's champion (AFO having seen that his brother's way of doing things has its merits).  Tomura grew up believing himself responsible for his family's deaths (though he's blocked most of the specifics, he knows in his gut that he's responsible somehow) and watching the realm celebrate the champion who'd defeated Tomura’s Keeper, but who hadn't done a thorough enough job to prevent the cycle from resetting after all.

Toshinori, for his part, initially had no idea that AFO had returned with a child, a new champion.  But he did know that AFO had returned (the realms are connected enough that you can't really miss it), and so waited for the next battle with some impatience.  He thought that he, perhaps, just hadn't done well enough, that he'd be more careful, more thorough next time.  After all, patterns become stronger when they repeat.  He doesn't truly understand that All for One can't be killed--not in Faerie, at least--and so there will be no end to the cycle as it stands.  Eventually, he got tired of waiting and sought out AFO on his own--and was shocked to find a kid, just a kid, where he expected to find AFO.  AFO did not think Shigaraki was ready for this yet, and was not prepared to watch several years' worth of effort and his cute keepsake get slaughtered (and he probably would have been; Shigaraki could have all the lives he wanted in training, but an official battle against the sanctioned bearer of OFA would have been different), so he ejected Shigaraki from Faerie and fought the battle himself.  As to what happened afterwards, Shigaraki has no way to know, but the gradual return of various other servants of AFO may eventually begin to shed some light on the subject…

Shigaraki is, when his story truly begins, still figuring out his current game--outside of Arcadia, second chances are harder to come by--but he’s a sore loser and a quick learner, so he never stays down for long, and he’s already made a friend in Toga, who he met in his escape from the Hedge.  He still has very ambivalent feelings about his Keeper, which makes him something of an outlier amongst changelings, who typically feel only terror and loathing for the Others that upended their lives and scarred them in ways that will never--can never--fully heal.  No one, including Shigaraki, has quite realized his connection to the Emperor of Darkness who caused so much havoc in the freehold when he escaped back to Faerie five years ago.  Likewise, Tomura’s fetch, only ten years old, is still in a mental care unit in juvie for the murders of the Shimura family, but dealing with that mess will have to wait until Shigaraki can stomach the idea of even looking at that version of himself.  

Tomura looks much as he does in canon, thin and covered with scratching and scarring.  Behind his tousled white hair, though, his red eyes gleam and flicker as if they’re forever reflecting the dancing lights of a screen.  His masked form has black hair rather than white, and eyes the color of dark, old rust.

Court/Mantle: Autumn, the season of fear.  Shigaraki’s entire durance threatened him always with the fear of failure (and the fear of the consequences of failure), and he himself would rather intimidate than charm, but he also shares the Leaden Mirror’s inquisitiveness and discerning eye.  As such, even when he first emerged from the Hedge, it was with a strong Autumn mantle, and it’s only grown stronger over time.  He’s often trailed by dead, desiccated brown leaves, and Hedge foliage that’s in his presence for any length of time visibly begins to wither--but his mantle flares up even more when he’s being actively combative.  Chilly, dry bursts of air can wring involuntary chills from those on the receiving end of his wide grins and dire promises. When he’s feeling more playful, one can sometimes see small flickers of light in the shape of unknown words or hear odd little strains of music from unrecognizable (albeit somewhat tinny) instruments.

Contracts: 

     Fleeting Autumn I.  He’s not so concerned with becoming some kind of symbol of fear that he’s pursued this Contract very much, but it never hurts to get an idea of what your opponent’s afraid of.

    Eternal Autumn I-III.  It takes time, glamour expenditure, and good dice rolls, but he can kill people this way, withering them down to nothing.  Conversely, he can also make plants bear fruit.  It’s occasionally useful.

    Hours I.  He’s figured out how to consciously botch the activation of this clause so as to decay the targeted object instead of restoring it.  It usually works, but sometimes randomly backlashes onto him instead, causing him injury--the bigger the object, the worse the damage.  The Wyrd doesn’t like being toyed with.

    Lucidity I-IV.  Clarity is a fluid, malleable thing for Shigaraki, which can make him extremely frightening--he can thank his Keeper’s lessons in control.  With this series of Contracts, Shigaraki can and does laugh off the kinds of deeds that would make other changelings quail back in fear of what their own minds would do to them in the aftermath.  He can also be shockingly perceptive for someone who by rights should have terrible trouble distinguishing the boundaries between Real and Unreal, Self and Other.  However, his use of these powers does make him somewhat mercurial and difficult to predict, even to his motley, as derangements come and go with the artificial inflation or drain of his Clarity.  It’s a downward slope, but one he’s taking more slowly than would otherwise be the case.

(Hypothetical Powered-Up Shigaraki: Adds two 5-dot Goblin Contracts, Blood-Binding and The Fatal Transformation.  Be it the power of glamour or the breath of life itself, if Shigaraki wants an enemy drained and is willing to pay his pound of flesh, Goblin magic will provide.  It’s a good thing he’s got friends to back him up, as both of these powers leave him in a pretty vulnerable state.) 

Toga Himiko

Quote: “I met someone cute today.  Don’t wait up!” 

Type: Mirrorskin/Leechfinger dual kith Darkling.  Toga served her durance in the chrome-tinted underbelly of a glass-and-brass dystopia full of mirrors, learning to steal life as easily as she stole food, and to slip from one form to another to keep ahead of everyone who’d chase her down for doing it.  More free than she’d been in her old life, to be sure, but still not free to truly do as she pleased, she dreamed of being able to hunt people down the way she’d been hunted down, with no one to answer to for it.  In time, she managed her escape and, on her path back through the Hedge, crossed paths with Tomura--distraught, lost, but still with plenty of fight left in him.  Each decided that the other was dangerous but sympathetic enough to be a better ally than an enemy, and they teamed up to find their way back to the real world.

Back in that real world, Toga is learning to put herself back together.  Getting back home only to find something waiting there wearing her face was a shock to her system, but after some agonizing (and a bloodbath in her parents’ kitchen), she’s decided it’s for the best.  If going back to being that girl means giving up the amazing psychic buffet the world now presents her, it’s not even a debate.  

Toga in her masked form is dark of hair and eye, a school girl with a wide smile and swift, excitable hands.  In her true form, everything bleeds paler--she’s china white, even her hair turning paler than flaxen fiber, most of her features seeming somehow insubstantial except for the long points of her teeth and the gas lamp yellow of her eyes.  

Court/Mantle: Spring, the season of desire.  Toga, more than anyone in the motley, has embraced the fact that she wants things now that she never would have before, that she has desires that no human would ever understand.  And why not?  She doesn’t kill people, after all; she just likes to taste.  The air around her is always infused with heady floral scents, and when she walks, phantom flowers trail up behind her.  Hemlock and cypress vine, spider lilies and nightshade--all lovely, to be sure, but the language of flowers does give her away.

Contracts: Everything about Toga’s Contracts heightens her skills as a predator, and she’s unquestionably the best in the group at it.

        Mirror I-II.  Allows her to shape her form with more specificity and finesse.

        Darkness I-II.  Makes her targets more suggestible.

        Fleeting Spring I-III.  Lets her pinpoint what her targets want so that she can shape those wants or her reflection of them as needed.

Bubaigawara Jin

Quote: “Nothing’s too much for my friends!”

Type: Truefriend Beast.  Jin’s human life didn’t differ much from his canonical backstory, minus the super power, but went drastically off course when he was hunted down--even on a motorcycle, hunted down!--by a monster on horseback and the various other monsters tumbling before it.  His changeling life consisted of one cage, one chase after another, and while most of the people around him were shaping themselves into being better vessels for coursing, baying, sharp-toothed menace, what Jin most wanted was the pack solidarity.  His Keeper thought this was funny but not a very useful trait in a hunting hound, so they started taking him to dog fights instead, hoping to scour the excess sweetness off of him.  Lacking a pack to stay for, he escaped, but the wanting for one never left him.  

Toga basically tripped over him his first night out, and her kindness then meant he was more than happy to follow her home.  He later made the acquaintance of Mr. Compress and Magne on a bar crawl and, wanting all of his friends to be friends together, introduced them to Shigaraki and Toga.  He’s also trying to make friends with his fetch, who is finding the whole experience of having a clone pop up at him at unexpected times to be unbelievably disorienting and nerve-wracking.  Which one of them is the real one, anyway…?

His mask looks much as Jin does in canon, though his scars are in different places.  In mien, he  always looks a bit rumpled, with short, sandy brown fur and bright, emotive eyes.  He’s dog-eared (literally), one alert, the other floppy, and his hands have stubby, darkened nails.  Unbelievably expressive and more overtly doggish body language--he didn’t keep a tail in his flight back through the Hedge, but people tend to remember him as having one anyway.

Court/Mantle: Courtless.  Jin’s too mixed up in his own emotions to pick just one to focus on.  He likes the idea of Spring, but he’s also skeptical that just wanting is enough to keep people safe, and that fear is rooted deep.  He’s also not without his old sorrows.  Of the High Court emotions, wrath is his rarest visitor.

Contracts:

        Fang & Talon (Dogs) I-III.  Jin’s got an undeniable rapport with dogs.  He loves them and they love him.  There’s practically no mutt he can’t get some words out of if he asks nice.  He’s also still got a hunting hound’s nose, when he needs it.  

        Hearth I-II.  Deeply dedicated to his friends, the Contracts of Hearth make advancing the goals of the motley (or hurting the chances of their enemies) even easier.

        Eternal Spring I.  Easier to be a people-pleaser when you know what pleases people!  Toga taught him this one.

        Moon I.  It’s good to know what people want, but it’s also good to know what kind of crazy people (fetches especially) might be sitting on.  This one also helps the group nail down where Shigaraki’s head is at on any given day.

Spinner

Quote: “What a mess.  Where are we even going with this?”

Type: Steepscrambler Beast.  Spinner spent, by his best reckoning, four years in a Faerie jungle.  It was always sweltering, sickbed heat with air so wet you could choke on it, and after a few close calls with the serpentine river dragons and over-large birds of prey that prowled the place, he’d all but given up trying to search for a way out--the sea of trees just went on forever anyway.  A long-tongued madman named Stain convinced him otherwise, with talk of hidden trods and clues found in the bellies of gutted fish.  When Stain went missing, Spinner resolved to try again, and though he can no longer remember the method of it, whatever he did seems to have worked.  He got back to his shitty hometown, but found it just as bad as ever, if not worse, with a fetch still cooped up in his old bedroom, spiralling ever further into depression.  And so, fed up with the state of his life and the apathy his fetch reflected back at him, he did something that very few changelings are capable of doing--he left home.  

Finding his way to the nearest big city with a proper freehold, Spinner gravitated to the Summer Court and got set up with an apartment in a small complex the freehold maintains for newbies to stay in while they get their feet under them.  Not too long after, Shigaraki and Toga wandered into a Summer recruitment drive, with Shigaraki immediately managing to get on Spinner’s nerves--which made it all the more exasperating when Spinner went home and found the both of them moving into the apartment next door to his!  Spinner’s still trying to figure out what he thinks of the mercurial and difficult Shigaraki, but they have been bonding over video games of late.

Spinner’s mask is a sun-darkened young man with a prominent nose and a thin, terse mouth.  He’s straight-backed but with a certain nerviness in his eyes, a stance that suggests he’s ready to throw the first punch.  He has a street punk look--pointy fingernails and pink hair--that people without the sight to know better assume is achieved with a nail file and hair dye.  His mask looks exactly like canon!Spinner with one exception--changeling!Spinner has ears.  They’re pointy, green and finely-scaled, but otherwise normal humanoid ears and they make his face look just a little wider and more humanoid than canon!Spinner’s lizard profile.  

Court/Mantle: Summer, the season of wrath.  Spinner’s angry about a lot of things--the state of the world, the injustices served to his motley and the wrongs of his life in particular--but he’s also wrestling with a lot of self-loathing.  It’s easy for him to slip into fatalistic thoughts and get mired down in apathy, and every time he thinks he’s gotten past it, someone or something comes along that throws him off, and then before he knows it he’s back on the ground wondering how he’s ever going to get past this.  Leaning into Summer’s hot anger helps keep him focused.  His mantle is relatively weak, tending to manifest as a warm, dry wind only when he’s particularly fired up or activating Court contracts.

Contracts: Spinner’s well-rounded, but that’s because he has a hard time settling on anything.  His ridiculous spread of Contracts illustrates this.

        Den I-II.  Not interested in leaning into his animal instincts and learning to talk to lizards, Spinner has instead leaned into possessive territorialism.  Unfortunately, he still feels like a small fish, so it’s hard to muster up the swagger that would allow him to progress this Contract further.  

        Fleeting Summer I.  Need to pick a fight and score some quick glamour?  This is the clause for you!  Just make sure Dabi’s not around; that guy’s angrier than the whole rest of the motley put together and it skews the readings.

        Eternal Summer I.  Makes Spinner a walking thermostat. Yes, sometimes Toga and Mr. Compress take advantage.

        Oath & Punishment I.  There’s a certain capital-R romance to this Contract that Spinner likes, but he’d need to find something (or someone) to whole-heartedly devote himself to first.  At least he can do sick parkour jumps in the meantime.  

        Artifice I.  Temporary repair magic.  Handy around the house and when you fight with cheap knives.  

        Dream I.  Useful facts about the local Hedge and he’s generally content to leave it at that--he doesn’t have a lot of use for dream-spinning, not when Magne’s so good at it.

Dabi

Quote: “You’re mad, huh?  So what are you gonna do about it?”

Type: Gravewight Darkling.  Once upon a time, there was a barren couple who wished desperately for children.  For many years, it was only a wish, until Todoroki Enji finally found someone who offered him a solution.  Nine months later, Todoroki Touya was born, to be followed by a string of children, each haler and heartier than the last.  Seven years later, the firstborn child was taken away in the night.  No fetch was left behind--after all, the Other was only claiming the price they’d been promised.  Fifteen years after that, a changeling calling himself Dabi dragged himself out of the Hedge, having spent most of his life lighting funeral pyres and digging graves in Faerie until he dug his way out.

Dabi fell in with the rest of the League motley after being found by Magne after a fight went sideways.  She patched him up and offered him a group to run around with for a while rather than doing the solo act.  He accepted, but his pledges with the rest of the group are a bit different--more paranoid, less supportive.  Dabi is distant from the motley, and only time will tell if he eventually lets them in or not.  

In mask, Dabi’s a beanpole, wild black hair and bright blue eyes with a caustic grin, skulking about in a succession of black coats and heavy, workmanlike boots.  In mien, he’s even taller, a too-thin gaunt with great swatches of skin burned away by restless soul-fires, which still cling and flicker blue around his hands.  His skin fits him a bit too loose, and he wears staples to keep it all in place.  

Court/Mantle: Summer, the season of wrath.  Could it ever be anything else?  Rather stronger than Spinner’s mantle, Dabi’s manifests as heat distortions in the air around him and, when he’s particularly riled up, blasts of hot air like you’d get opening up a hot oven.  He has some trouble advancing in the Court proper, though, as he prefers to only fight battles he knows he can win.  He feels, all the time, sick with rage, but until he proves willing to make stands even when the odds are against him, the Iron Spear’s time for him will be limited.  

Contracts: 

        Shade & Spirit I.  If he’s going to see ghosts around all the time anyway, he might as well be able to talk to them.  They’re only sporadically helpful, but as a skeleton in the closet himself, he has some fellow feeling for them.

        Elements (Fire) I-III.  He brought fire with him out of Faerie, but it’s a difficult thing for him to master, foreign to his seeming despite sometimes feeling as if it’s nestled in his very bones.  

        Fleeting Summer I-II.  Dabi’s much at home with wrath, and very willing to shape it to his own ends.  Whether or not he sticks around for them, he likes starting fights.  

        Punishing Summer I.  An odd branch of Summer magic, but one that he feels has some promise for him.  Compared to the more straightforwardly righteous Contract of Eternal Summer, this feels harsher, longer-burning, and that sings to him in ways he finds very appealing.

Mr. Compress

Quote: “If we’re going to break the law, why shouldn’t we do it in style?”

Type: Larcenist Fairest.  A simple stage magician of modest fame once upon a time, right up until he was offered a promising and lucrative gig by a stranger who thought he deserved a better stage for his talents.  The stage in this case turned out to be--well, you can guess.  His client (Keeper) wanted things stolen--they seemed to enjoy the taste of things ill-gotten--and there was always some new diamond or painting or antique.  Sako’s time in Faerie (which he came to share with Magne) was like a string of heist films: glamorous and bubbly and thrilling, but the underside was rife with lurid, impossible violence waiting on the slightest error, the stakes always seemed to be climbing, and of course you could never say no…  But one thing you can say for heist films is that they always allot a proper amount of time for planning, and so over time Sako and the others planned their last heist--the one to steal themselves into freedom.  If asked, Sako will tell a dozen different stories about how it went, but the truth is his memories are fuzzy, and the only thing he knows for sure is that he and Magne emerged from the Hedge alone.  

Sako’s a bit disjunctioned in time--many more years have passed in the real world than he spent in Faerie, and he spent a good many years in Faerie.  His fetch washed up in a nursing home in the meantime, riddled with palsy and Alzheimer’s, and though Sako is not by habit or preference a violent man, the sight of it filled him with a primal loathing.  And it’s so easy, in an overcrowded environment, to make a mistake with a dosage…  Sako still has a piece of the detritus left over, just to remind himself of how his story could have ended, and how determined he is to not let such a future come to pass.  

In his mask, Mr. Compress (well, he needed a new stage name) is a handsome, auburn-haired man in his forties who gestures constantly, frequently toying with a short white cane, and speaks in refined if somewhat dated language in a rich, theatrical voice.  He always dresses a bit more nicely than he needs to, preferring clothes with hidden pockets and long sleeves, and is rarely without a hat to flourish.  His mien mostly serves to heighten all of that--he becomes impossibly graceful and compelling, his voice catching the ear like a song, and his clothes are revealed to be Hedgespun, the feather in his hat belonging to no bird an ornithologist could name, the buttons on his coat and the stone accentuating his bolo tie shifting slowly in pattern and shade the longer you watch, and the cane almost certainly a low-level token of some kind.  The most eye-catching thing, though, is the mask--he wears a white mask that always seems to have a different pattern on it, though it never moves while you’re looking directly at it.  He doesn’t seem able to actually remove it all the way, though he can slide it around enough to eat or theatrically squint or blink his eyes (dark and bewitchingly expressive).  If it’s forcefully pulled off, it’s only to reveal another one beneath it--though he’ll complain that it stings and ask you to refrain.  

Court/Mantle: Autumn, the season of fear magic!  Mr. Compress didn’t come out of the Hedge with a particular Court affinity, but he was drawn towards Autumn like a compass needle finding true north.  He’s only a limited interest in fear (though his response to his fetch shows that he has his share of it), but he’s endlessly fascinated by the ins-and-outs of faerie magic.  Trinkets, tokens, pledge-craft--if it’s a clever trick, he’s interested.  His mantle shows as pops and starbursts of light, and frequently as a cool, trailing mist about his feet.  

Contracts: The only person in the group more focused than Toga.

        Separation I-IV.  Escape magic fit for Houdini himself.  If it looks like Compress is locked up or restrained, it’s almost only certainly because he’s allowing himself to be.  

        Forge I-III.  Sleight of hand is even more impressive when you’re using magic!  Extremely convenient for those times when he needs a passable ID or a house key he does not in fact own.

Magne

Quote: “Take it easy, honey.  I’ll handle it.”

Type: Metalflesh Elemental.  Magne was a criminal before she was a changeling, and it was in that capacity that she--like Mr. Compress--fell prey to an offer that should have been too good to be true.  The heist team needed a bit more muscle, is the thing; they were getting caught too often without a good combatant.  And so came Magne, given a sturdier body (that could, incidentally, meld through safe walls when necessary) through processes she only remembers in her nightmares.  An odd thing happened with her, though--what Magne felt the pull of in Faerie was less the element she became and more the stuff of Arcadia itself.  Where her Keeper expected her to become hard as steel, instead she embraced dream conjury; where she was instructed to protect the rest of her band, that protection took the form of healing as often as it did squaring up for a fight.  It’s hard to argue with the results, though--Magne is a fierce and stubborn defender of any group that wins her loyalty.  

Currently in a live-and-let live relationship with her fetch--she feels a bit sorry for the poor creature, and would rather see her find a way to break free of the image she was forged in and make her own path than kill her.  It’s painful to be around her, though, so while Magne’s willing to extend some help from a distance, she would rather the fetch keep her distance.  Time will tell if her fetch--who has her own desires and very much shares Magne’s willingness to bust some heads over them--is prepared to abide by this.  

Magne in mask looks much as she does in canon, though she can afford nicer clothes.  Her preference for butch presentation is unchanged, but the jeans are designer and the shirts elaborate silk prints.  She has a collection of fetching sunglasses for any occasion.  Her mien is a gleaming ochre bronze, flesh hard and smooth, her hair (a bit darker in color than the rest of her) always a bit stiff but, on the other hand, difficult to muss.  Her body is in all ways a more chiselled, more perfected version of the body she went into Arcadia with, which Magne has mixed but overall relieved feelings about.  The flesh-to-metal transition her Keeper forced on her was bad enough; whyever would she trust the Others with gender affirmation?

Court/Mantle: Spring, season of desire growth. Magne’s desire is to never be held down by any sort of repression or expectation forced on her by others (the Others in particular), and this pride drew her strongly to the Antler Crown.  While she doesn’t exhibit the flowing, graceful beauty so prized in women of the Emerald Court, her passion for self-expression and her unstinting support of those fumbling their way towards the same has certainly won her her share of admirers.  Magne’s mantle takes the form of fresh-scented air and pleasant breezes.  She doesn’t leave flowers where she walks, but you can sometimes find ivy where her hands have been.  

        Contracts: 

        Dream I-III.  By leaps and bounds the most talented dream-weaver in the motley, Magne’s oneiromancy is light-hearted and nonjudgmental while her oneiromachy is formidable.  Everyone in the motley can soothe one another’s nightmares, but Magne is the best at it.  She usually has at least one or two dream-task pledges active with mortals, too, so she rarely struggles to keep her glamour reserves--or her wallet--full.  

        Elements (Metal) I.  Magne’s retained only the minimum level of connection with the metal she was forged from; in truth, her body is less important to her than what she does with it.

        Eternal Spring I-III.  Easing fatigue, curing wounds, and even bringing in         a gentle rain--Magne’s deeply in touch with the rejuvenative aspects of her Court.

BONUS TIDBITS:

Shigaraki experienced more deaths in Faerie than any other member of his motley.  After all, you might know the cheat code for unlimited lives, but that doesn’t mean you never die.  And it did feel like death, every time.  Of course, sometimes failure just meant Sensei shaking his head and Being Disappointed.  That still felt a bit like dying too, though.

Over the course of her durance, Toga had more than one knife fight with a cyber hero adventurer hunting through the city’s underbelly looking for a power core.  Also, changeling!Toga is much less murderous than canon!Toga because if she were as murderous as canon!Toga, Clarity loss would rapidly render her unplayable.  

Spinner was pulled into the motley over a planned playdate heist to see how well Shigaraki and Toga could work as a unit with Mr. Compress and Magne.  Being very familiar with heist stories by that time, Sako and Magne decided the group needed one more guy to provide muscle, and as it happened, Shigaraki and Toga lived next door to just such a one.

I have not decided on whether the Todoroki family are a mundane equivalent of the way we see them in canon, all deeply damaged by Endeavor’s ceaseless drive to fulfill his goals by way of his children, or whether they’re actually pretty normal and well-adjusted with the exception of Enji’s one dark secret.  Either way, Natsuo is the only one who has any inkling that there was anything “off” about Touya’s death/disappearance.    He has no inkling of the truth, obviously, but he always felt that Enji didn't react quite the right way to Touya's death, or thought Enji was behaving suspiciously on the night Touya vanished.  

The League’s basic motley pact includes the dreaming pledge, so they frequently take mental voyages into one another’s dreamscapes to clear out the nightmares and indulge in silly, impossible-in-reality lucid dreaming adventures.  The exception is Dabi, who would rather have nightmares than people in his head.  

Mr. Compress doesn’t jokingly call himself an old man anymore because he’s too traumatized by finding out what he’d actually be like in old age.  

Shigaraki, while beginning the story in a fairly ambivalent, uncertain place, eventually finds his way towards a goal of helping to free loyalists--from their hopeless circumstances, from their learned helplessness, from their starstruck adoration.  He finds this goal over the course of his late-game encounters with Kurogiri, Gigantomachia, and Re-Destro, and it is through helping them that he’s finally able to begin to process his own feelings of attachment and affection towards his Keeper.  It may well be that the fetch of Shimura Tenko is Shigaraki’s final boss.

[theprodigypenguin]

A8 jegulus (can it end well? Love your work!!)

A: Angst - 8: “Am I not enough for you?”

Whoo boy I was determined to finish this before going to bed. I started watching The Great British Baking Show and got SO distracted (for the record I’m glad Diane is gone and Iaine didn’t deserve to get sent home because that fucking BITCH literally sabotaged him). Anyway. This almost got too deep for me, but I managed to rein it in a bit. The information collected about Abandonment Issues was found on this website. Enjoy!

Regulus had abandonment issues. At least that’s what he read in the Muggle help book he’d found sitting on his usual table tucked into the furthest back corner of the library.

It was circular and hidden between tall bookshelves filled to spilling over with outdated textbooks and scrolls that had been shoved there once they’d lost their use. Regulus found some comfort and solidarity by taking that table, because no one else ever seemed to use it. It was too musty back there, there wasn’t enough light because the old glass was cloudy and likely hadn’t been washed in centuries. Regulus figured he was the only person who ever sat there, but the hard cover self help book he’d found sitting there was arguably not his.

At first he was bothered by the fact that someone had stolen his secret space, tainting it with pointless Muggle items. He’d wandered back there in the middle of the day in a horrible mood, silently seething and shaking as he kept his head down and avoided Madam Pince by sliding down the side aisle while she was organizing books at her desk. He wanted seclusion, he wanted to curl into the chair with his feet pulled onto the cushion and the hood of his cloak pulled onto his head and down over his eyes so no one who passed by would see the angry tears cutting down his cheeks as he wrapped his arms around his knees and muffled the sounds of frustrated sobs against his trousers.

It was infuriating, being James Potter’s secret boyfriend. When they’d started their relationship, Regulus had known it would be behind curtains, secret rendezvous up in the Astronomy tower at midnight, sneaking out together to lounge on the grass at the edge of the Black Lake, wrapped around each other and laughing over silent jokes, indulging in each other when no one else could see, testing each other, seeing what was right, what they were comfortable with.

Both of them accepted no one could really know about them, but they were fine with it. Regulus was fine with it. It gave him a feeling of true elation to know he was the one who was dragging his hands down the plane of James’ stomach as the talented Quidditch Chaser pinned him to the wall hidden behind a tapestry barely big enough to hide them. Regulus was the one tasting James’ lips and feeling the texture of his hair between his fingers. James was his, and no one knew it, and that was exciting. A silent rebellion on Regulus’ part, because when he was snogging James senseless, half of him was feeling the brutal smugness, knowing how furious his parents would be, revolting in such a damning way.

It was a game, but every day, every week they spent in a decided relationship, the hesitant touches growing more confident and the curious eyes darkening with resolution had Regulus weak. It was just a game, but he was enjoying himself far too much. He liked it too much. He liked James too much. Falling like he’d been hit in the chest with a Bludger and toppled off his broom a hundred feet in the air with the Golden Snitch clutched above his heart, hoping to everything James would be the one to catch him. Regulus liked him.

Maybe that was why it was so painful, a hot iron twisted into his gut, seeing James standing so close to that Evans girl with a brilliant smile on his face, leaning one shoulder against the wall with his arms folded, looking too cocky, too confident, too interested in the red hair and green eyes, the lips that had scowled at him for six years but were now cresting in a soft smile.

Regulus already knew James had been interested in Lily for a great deal of time, interest that had turned to a crush in fifth year. He’d heard Peter, Remus, and Sirius tease James about his admiration before, had heard Snape brooding and hissing about how Lily deserved better, James was an overconfident pig, Lily would never be interested him in a million years. Yet there she was, seventeen and looking at James the same way he’d looked at her for years.

Regulus’ relationship with James was still young, admittedly, but in the few months they’d been together, he’d gotten attached, he’d started to trust, and now he felt like he was being left behind, simply because he’d seen James smiling at a girl Regulus knew he liked. James wouldn’t do that though, right? He wouldn’t break it off with Regulus just because he thinks he finally has a chance with Lily Evans. Or maybe he would. This whole time, the tender fingers on his cheeks and the lips on his forehead, had they just been ways for James to distract himself from Lily? Was he just using Regulus? Or was he just overreacting?

That’s when he reached out to the book on the table, flipping it open and reading a few lines until he realized it was a self help book. He turned the pages lazily, trying to distract himself, ignoring the few tears that had managed to squeeze out of his eyes. His body went rigid when he got to a particular chapter at the end of the book, titled appropriately with “Signs of Abandonment Issues”. Regulus read on autopilot, his heart in his throat.

“You’re Afraid to Turn Down Requests: There’s a huge difference between being kind and being afraid of further abandonment. There’s something wrong if you can’t say no. If you think that letting them down will make them leave you in an instant, you likely have abandonment issues. You Easily Get Jealous: If you have abandonment issues, there’s always something to be jealous about. You don’t like it when your otherwise loyal partner hangs out with their friends. When jealousy becomes a serious issue, you’ll always be insecure about your partner’s loyalty.

“You’re Afraid to Open Up: After months of being quiet and alone in class, you find someone genuinely interested in you. The two of you become the best of friends, only for this person to leave you for a new set of pals. You’ll begin thinking that you’re never enough, that you’re easily replaceable. You put up walls around you because it’s not worth the risk of being hurt again. Abandonment has made you a cold, unapproachable person. Making yourself hard to approach prevents otherwise good people from entering your life. If you’re actively deterring others from knowing you better, how can you find the people that are actually worth the risk? Being left out makes you think it’s better to be left out all the time. You Want to Have the Perfect Partner: Nobody’s perfect, you’re always going to find an issue because you’ve set unrealistic expectations for them. You’ll never find that perfect someone because they don’t exist. You’re going to turn down people who are imperfect but are otherwise honest, reliable, and kind.

“You Have Low Self-Esteem: Abandonment issues arise when someone important in your life disappoints you big time. Even if it’s not your fault, you might blame yourself for the outcome. You’ve Become Passive: People don’t normally see a single mistake as a major setback, but experiencing heartache over and over again can change how a person views their life. You’re always accepting the things that happen in your life, there’s nothing under control, so for people with abandonment issues, it’s normal to fail every day. Being passive also often means becoming a pessimist, a spectator in your own life, you don’t see the good in it. You’ve become so intent on seeing the bad side of things that the positive outcomes go unnoticed. If you do realize that something good is happening, your mind tells you that it’s not going to last. Any success is a mere oddity. Being abandoned does this to you: It tears down your belief in the goodness of others. Constant disappointment ruins your sense of hope and love. You no longer view life as having two sides of a coin: One good, one bad. For you, it’s just going to get worse from here on out.

Abandonment issues come from being wounded by an important person in your life unexpectedly leaving you. If you are someone who pays little attention to your own feelings in general, you are likely to minimize the emotional impact of painful events, such as your original abandonment.”

Regulus read over the section again and again, somehow his mind returning to Sirius at the end of it all, how betrayed he’d felt when his parents looked at him sullenly and scowled that Sirius had been sorted into Gryffindor, how lonely he felt in his own home when Sirius had returned for the summer in aggressive reds and golds, grinning like he’d found new fire in his life, barely sparing Regulus a glance as he locked himself in his bedroom and turned it inside out, pinning up posters throughout the years, writing his friends and proudly displaying his house. Then the summer he was disowned.

Regulus remembered how clammy his hands had been as he clung to the banister and slowly descended the stairs to watch where his mother and brother were screaming in the hall. There was an angry bruise on Sirius’ jaw, his lip busted open and bleeding, his gray eyes alight in madness and a bag of bare belongings on his shoulder. He stopped yelling, letting his mother scream profanities at him and casting his eyes up the stairs to Regulus, narrowing in resentment as his lips curled into a scowl.

Don’t leave me here alone, Regulus remembered the thought that never made it to his mouth, wondering idly what Sirius would have done in that moment if Regulus had spoken, begged him not to go. Instead he stood, passive, and watched Sirius leave, slamming the door and knocking picture frames from the walls in his violent exit. His mother screamed, Regulus hugged the banister, sliding down to sit on the stairs and staring at the door as if he actually thought Sirius would come back for him.

He didn’t.

Was that why Regulus couldn’t stop shaking at the prospect of James leaving him for Lily? After months of memorizing each other, after James finally made Regulus laugh, snickering into his hands as they hid in the broom closet just outside the Transfiguration classroom, would James really do that? Why?

Maybe because Regulus just wasn’t good enough. In the months they’d been together, it had taken Regulus a long time to so much as hold James’ hand, even longer to graduate from hesitant kisses to full on snogging sessions with hands holding tight to clothes and hair, but they’d yet to go further. Is that what James wanted? He wanted to sleep with Regulus? Regulus was acting like a prude, giving James so little, and that’s why he was looking at Evans again; because he wasn’t getting what he wanted from Regulus.

Don’t leave me here alone.

He went in search of James, stupid Muggle book clutched between his hands, and shouldn’t have been surprised when the person he literally ran into first was Remus Lupin, Sirius at his side. Regulus bumped hard enough into Remus to stagger back in shock, though Remus didn’t move an inch, looking somewhat taken aback at Regulus’ sudden appearance. Sirius bristled from beside his friend, holding a hand in front of Remus like he was trying to protect him from Regulus, who looked behind them expecting to see James but realizing with crushing disappointment they were alone.

“Can you maybe watch where you’re running?” Sirius asked harshly, and Regulus turned his eyes to him. “I should expect better from a goody two shoes Slytherin Prefect.” His statement held bite, but Regulus noticed the way his face softened into confusion. “Why are your eyes red?”

“Hey that’s my book.” Remus pointed deftly at the book in Regulus’ hand, and Regulus snapped his eyes to him. “My mum sent it, said I might like it. Left it in the library.”

Regulus felt something odd in his throat as he immediately stepped forward to shove the book against Remus’ chest, then hurried around him, leaving he and Sirius to watch after him as he jogged down the hall back towards where he’d last seen James in the courtyard with Lily.

Part of him didn’t want to see him again, see him standing leaning towards that Evans girl with that smile, he felt like he might vomit if he saw it again, but he needed to talk to James, before he had a complete breakdown. He just needed to know.

He was both relieved and upset to find the courtyard was empty, because James wasn’t with Lily, but he wasn’t there either. What if he’d snuck off with Lily somewhere? What if he was in the broom closet just inside the door? Regulus backed up into the castle, his pulse in his throat making it hard to breathe as he turned to face the broom closet, reaching a hand towards the door knob but freezing. If they were in there they could be snogging, or worse. What was Regulus supposed to do when he saw that? Saw his boyfriend shagging a woman? He didn’t know what to do, until a voice spoke into his ear.

“Alright there, Reg?”

Regulus flailed in shock, letting out a yelp as he tripped over his own feet, and probably would have hit the ground hard if James hadn’t reached out to grab him, lunging towards Regulus to hook an arm around his back so it looked like he was dipping the Slytherin mid dance. James looked startled for a moment at Regulus’ clumsiness before a cocky grin took to his lips.

“Well now, Little King, I knew you were falling for me, but I didn’t realize it was so literal.”

Regulus felt his face burn, scrambling to straighten up and stand on his own, stepping away from James until his back was against the closet door and staring at James with wide eyes like he’d done something wrong. James’ smile faded as he seemed to quickly pick up on Regulus’ mood, taking a step closer and lifting a hand but pausing when Regulus flinched.

“What’s going on? Why are you making that face?” James furrowed his brow, and something that could have been mistaken as protectiveness filtered into his eyes. “Did something happen?”

“Am I not enough for you?” Regulus blurted, and James stared with a blank face, looking truly confused.

“Huh?”

“I saw you earlier with Evans,” Regulus quickly explained, and James’ eyes grew wide, brows shooting up in realization, but there was no guilt or shame from being caught. “Am I not enough?! This is because we haven’t done anything, right?!”

James shot forward to cover Regulus’ mouth with a hand, pulling him away from the closet door as it was opened abruptly and a Ravenclaw girl stuck her head out, looking annoyed.

“Do you two mind? I’m trying to kiss the daylights out of someone in here!”

“Very sorry about him,” James apologized quickly, keeping a hand over Regulus’ mouth, one arm wrapped around his shoulders to keep him close. “Drank a potion a while ago, told him not to test it on himself, fool wouldn’t listen, now he’s spouting nonsense. I’m gonna take him to get some air, you two have fun in there.” James turned, slowly pulling his hand away and leading Regulus back to the door leading out into the courtyard. “Let’s go, Reg, get you some fresh air. You’ll be back to normal in no time.”

Regulus was speechless for several reasons, mainly humiliation that he’d blurted that out, and the fact someone had actually heard him, someone had actually been snogging in that closet and heard him and probably were very suspicious of what Regulus was yelling at James for. Fuck, she was a Ravenclaw, she probably already realised.

James lead him away from the courtyard and down towards Black Lake. No one else was around, and James seemed to eye the area for a moment before dubbing it safe, then released Regulus and turned to him.

“Now what’s gotten into you? What nonsense are you babbling about?”

“I saw you with Evans,” Regulus said dumbly, feeling like a major idiot as James arched an eyebrow.

“Yeah? She’s in my house and she’s Head Girl, sometimes I have to talk to her,” he paused before shaking his head. “You didn’t think I was flirting with her or something, did you?”

Regulus felt like passing out as his hands curled into fists. “Were you?”

James just snorted, taking a confident step forward and leaning to get into Regulus’ face. “No,” he said firmly, and Regulus felt his eyes burn. “Merlin, Regulus, what stupid thoughts go through that head of yours? You really think I’d cheat on you?”

Regulus took a shaky breath. “I-I saw you and thought, maybe, because I’m so difficult, because we don’t… do things.”

“You think I care about that?” James gaped. “I’m perfectly happy with the simple romantic dynamic we have, even if it’s a secret.” He reached out to cup his hands around Regulus’ face, thumbing at his cheeks where the tears from earlier had dried. “You’ve really been crying over this, huh? You’re a real idiot, Regulus Black.”

Regulus frowned in mild irritation, glaring at James. “You’re the idiot, James.”

“What for?”

“A smart person wouldn’t agree to go out with someone like me.”

James just grinned, looking entirely too amused. “Huh, guess you do have a point. We’re both idiots then. Only an idiot would still be dating me, with all my flaws in tact.”

Regulus just frowned at that, vaguely recalling what he’d read in the self help book and lifting a hand to touch the back of James’ arm gently. “I don’t mind that,” he said, and it must have been out of character for him, certainly not what James was expecting, because suddenly James looked shocked as Regulus slid his fingers up to cup the back of James’ hand on his face. “I don’t need you to be perfect or flawless, you know.” He shut his eyes, wondering what kind of mess he looked like with the dry tears on his pathetic face. “Just… don’t leave me alone.”

Instead of answering with words, James pulled Regulus closer, ducking his head so he could kiss Regulus, willing all of his feelings and promise and forever to seep from his lips and into Regulus’ body. It was the first time they’d kissed out in the open like this, in the middle of the day, where anyone could see them, but somehow Regulus couldn’t find it in him to care. So long as he knew James was still his, he didn’t care about anything else.

Send in prompts: Dialogue Prompts | Miscellaneous Prompts

[doubledeaky]

Art Deco

John Deacon x Female!Reader Smut

A/N: Hi, everyone! First, apologies for the lack of consistent updates for “See What a Fool I’ve Been.” The third part will definitely be out Monday or Tuesday. Until then, here’s some Freaky Deaky to tide you all over. This was inspired by @captain--americanna‘s post of this particular photo of John! Thank you for the inspiration dear! Ok, hope everyone enjoys! As always, feedback is very much appreciated! -m:)

Summary: You’re a fresh face on the Queen crew lineup; your main tasks - get all four of them from one venue to another in an orderly fashion, preferably sober, dressed, and ready to play. As the 1974 tour quickly approaches, you find yourself falling for a particular bassist. During their first show, John bares it all in a beyond extravagant outfit and you can’t control yourself any longer. Much to your surprise, neither can John.

Word Count: 6,176 words (oh my)

Warnings: some cursing and sexual content (18+ only please!) 

You were struggling to keep up with the suited man walking briskly before you, clipboard in hand. Your heeled feet ached under the quick pace, but you forced your legs to carry your weight at a speed that almost matched the man’s. This particular man was the tour manager for a particular rock band, that particular rock band being Queen. Despite the burn of your muscles, excitement reverberated from every corner of your body as the pair of you neared the recording studio that housed said rock band. While you were excited, you were also beyond nervous, terrified even. Being hired as a personal assistant and stylist for an up and coming band was honestly a dream come true but now that your dream had become reality, your stomach flipped violently with anxiety. You were nervous for a number of reasons. First, you were afraid that the band wouldn’t welcome you or that the five of you wouldn’t connect and you’d lose the job you so yearned for. Second, the idea of having to be in the constant company of four guys was daunting; you had no brothers growing up. You hoped you’d figure out how to handle them quickly. Third, you were afraid that you wouldn’t be able to handle the demands of the job and get the boot.

You picked at the black polish covering your nails as the man with the clipboard finally halted his unnaturally quick pace and gestured for you to take a seat. You sat and looked up at him expectantly as he flipped through the large stack of papers and forms on the board. He furrowed his brows and for some ungodly reason, the action had your body tensing. He looked up at you briefly before bringing his wrist up to study his watch. He cleared his throat and folded his arms, clipboard hanging loosely under his suede-clad arm.

“Alright, here’s the deal. Your job is to dress them, get them to gigs at a reasonable hour, and keep them happy. Easy enough, right?” He laughed quietly, looking down again at his clipboard and raising his brows. You nodded, a little unconvinced by his last statement but still remained polite. He looked up at you for a verbal answer and you nervously coughed, nodding again.

“Right.” You said, giving him your most convincing, sugary-sweet smile. He nodded, giving you a tight-lipped grin. The man looked exhausted and you feared the boys in the room across the hall would chew you up and spit you out with no hesitation. In the five minutes the two of you had made brief discussion, you’d managed to chipped off three fingernails worth of polish and you chastised your frazzled nerves. He huffed as he placed the clipboard under his arm again.

“Ok, ready to meet your bosses?” He asked, extending his hand for you to take. You took it graciously, afraid your legs wouldn’t be able to properly hold your frame on their own. He led you to the room with a comforting hand on your back and gave you a genuine, reassuring smile as he reached to turn the knob of the door. Before he completed the action he looked at you and whispered an encouragement, noticing your panicked eyes.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. They’ll adore you.” He said, smiling sweetly. You returned it, his friendly demeanor reminded you of your dad and it was nice knowing he’d be around to bring reason to situations you would surely make unreasonable. He opened the door softly, knocking on it as the two of you entered.

“Boys? Are you all decent?” He asked, letting go of the door knob and standing straight with his hands folded in front of him. He gestured for you to come out from behind his tall stature and you did, cautiously. He laughed softly and patted your upper back in an attempt to shake the nerves from your form. A loud crash suddenly boomed from the far left side of the room, behind the sound-proof door funnily enough. The man beside you groaned and rubbed the bridge of his noise with his thumb and pointer finger. You tried to stifle your giggle with a hand over your smiling mouth. Then, as if they were all pressed against the door, four eccentrically-dressed men fell out into the control room. You widened your eyes and stepped back slightly, they were certainly different. They all groaned and giggled, squirming around on the floor like puppies. The man beside you cleared his throat loudly; which did little to capture their attention as they all continued to laugh, holding their stomachs and wiping tears. The man huffed.

“Boys, please. We have a guest. Can the four of you keep it together for more than five minutes?” He said, gesturing for them to get up from the floor and greet you properly.

“Terribly sorry, Gerry. It’s all in good fun.” The man with straight, jet black hair and lined eyes said as he got up and dusted off his white pants. The man beside you- Gerry, you noted- rolled his eyes and hummed disapprovingly. The black-haired man smirked, mischievous and childlike. You felt anxious again, you were certainly in for a wild ride with these characters.

“All right, all right. Enough pissing around. Boys, this is Y/N. You’re new stylist and personal assistant.” Gerry said, turning to give you a reassuring grin and gesturing for you to introduce yourself personally to the four of them. The black-haired man was quick to pull you into a tight hug. You returned it, a bit hesitant at first but his cheery energy somehow calmed your uneasy one. He pulled away and smiled, looking at you with an almost earnest admiration.

“Freddie Mercury.” He said, affirmatively, giving you a wide smile. You returned it, already looking forward to getting to know this enigma of a man. He held both of your hands and lifted your arms, holding you out before him at arms length and giving you a once-over.

“My, my. You are certainly qualified for the position of a stylist. Very chic, I love it.” He quipped, and you blushed under his gaze. He gingerly placed your arms back to your sides, stepping aside and turning to fiddle with the soundboards, allowing you to continue with the introductions.

The next man, tall and curly-haired, extended a hand out to you with a kind smile. You took it, returning the gesture and nodding your head politely.

“Brian May, wonderful to meet you.” He said, his voice smooth and soft, comforting. You smiled sweetly, and released his hand.

“Ditto.” You replied, giggling, and he followed, your laugh strangely infectious. He nodded and followed Freddie to fiddle with the soundboards, a bit more expertise behind the movements of his fingers. The next man was a bit shorter, blonde, blue-eyed, beautiful, and nearly shirtless. You couldn’t prevent the pink blush that dusted your cheeks as he placed a gentle kiss to your cheek, shaking your outstretched hand as he pulled away.

“Roger Taylor. Looking forward to having you around.” He flirted, sending you a quick wink and walking away to plop down on the couch, lighting a cigarette almost immediately. You nodded politely in his direction and you could tell he was pleased with your flustered state. You wrung your hands and turned to the fourth and final man. He gave you a kind smile and offered you his ringed-hand to shake. You took it graciously and admired his enchanting but classic appearance. You could infer that he was the black sheep among his band mates. Dressed only in a red flannel shirt, blue jeans, and sneakers. The only thing connecting him to the rock star look was his long, wavy brown hair.

“John Deacon, bassist. Terribly sorry you’ll be babysitting us for the next nine months.” He joked, letting his hand fall to his side after your friendly handshake. You giggled and he seemed pleased he’d gotten a laugh out of you, beaming with pride.

“I wouldn’t have taken the job if I couldn’t handle the likes of you.” You quipped, turning to point a painted finger in the direction of the other three, who all joined in on the easy laughter. You suddenly felt comfortable among these rockstars, something you thought would come with time and not on the very first day. You felt that welcome sense of giddiness fill your chest and for the first time since you’d been awarded the job, you looked forward to the upcoming months of touring Queen was scheduled to fulfill. You turned back to John and gave him a goofy smile.

“Thank you for your apology in advance. Now I know who I’m certainly going to like the most.” You said, mostly to him, but the rest of the room certainly heard and all adopted sly smirks. John looked down at the linoleum floor, flustered at your comment. He was also pretty sure who he was going to like the most over the next nine months.

***

The first date of Queen’s debut tour was quickly approaching and you were swamped in assignments gifted to you by the band, you were loving it. Creating and assembling extravagant stage costumes was awarding you with a passion you’d never experienced. You pumped out costume after costume in such an efficient manner and the band was blown away, especially Freddie. He often spent hours on end over your shoulder, watching you work in pure awe. Today was no different, Freddie was nearly perched atop your shoulder with his jaw touching the floor.

“My God, I have truly been blessed. Never have I seen a fellow designer have a vision so similar to mine. Not only that, you go beyond my expectations. You’re truly a blessing, Y/N” He complimented you endlessly and you couldn’t help but grow flustered, a wide grin stretched across your face. Freddie was now marveling at finished pieces hung on the rack across the room, begging to be worn and showed off.

“Thank you, Freddie. Don’t let me get a big head, my dear. These are your designs, I just so happen to bring them to life.” You said, trying to give him a subtle compliment and downplay the praise he’d just awarded you.

“Don’t be silly, darling. I could give you a simple noun on Monday and you’d have something incredible ready by Thursday. You’re truly a talent.” He said, refusing to allow you to deny the obvious talent in your possession.

“You spoil me, Mercury.” You quipped, focusing on the fabric being fed through the needle of your sewing machine.

“I don’t mind.” He responds slyly, grabbing a few pieces from the rack labeled “Freddie” and placing them over his bent arm.

“If you need me, I’ll be trying these lovely ladies on in the next room. Thank you again, dear.” Freddie called as he exited the room with a practiced grace. You smiled and shook your head. Freddie surely was an enigma.

Moments later, the door to the room opened softly but you didn’t notice, the whirring of your machine blocking almost all surrounding noise. John closed the door behind him and leant against it, admiring you in your element. Though he had trouble admitting it, over the last few weeks of tour preparation, he’d developed a small crush on the band’s on-call therapist and devoted seamstress. Like Freddie was to you, you were to John-an enigma. He admired your passion for your work. When he would run his hands over the careful beading of Freddie’s garments and notice the precise hand-stitching of the many jackets and vests Roger demanded of you, he knew you were meant to do this and you poured your heart and soul into every piece of fabric. He admired your patience and rock-solid tolerance of the band’s constant demands and immature antics. You never complained and did everything with a saccharine sweet smile, never failing to melt John’s heart. You were exactly what the band needed, a dedicated individual who could really take a beating but above all, a friend. You had really become a part of the group and your support of their endeavors and artistic visions was exactly what a young band like Queen needed. However, the thing about you that had John shifting in his seat from time to time was how drop-dead gorgeous you were. Despite humble beginnings, you had an effortless confidence about you and you weren’t afraid to let everyone know. John loved everything about you and the ache in his lower stomach was a constant reminder of his infatuation with you. John continued to watch you work until he shifted his weight and knocked over a heavy rack of clothes, sending it crashing loudly to the floor. He cringed as it landed, and you jumped in your cushiony work chair.

“Shit!” You yelped, turning back to identify the culprit. Your annoyed facade softened when you noticed it was John Deacon, infamous klutz. You rolled your eyes playfully as he stumbled to return the rack to its position, piling clothes in his arms to hang back up.

“Need some help there, my dear.” You joked, leaning your cheek against your hand. He looked up, obviously flustered and stuttered out an apology.

“Sorry, Y/N. Never been very good with not making a mess.” He laughed, still a bit embarrassed as he struggled to place the garments back on cushioned and velvety hangers. You laughed fondly and stood from your seat to help him. He watched you with concentration, noting which pieces belonged on which hanger. As you both worked to restore the rack of its clothes, John’s right hand brushed against your left as you both hung up a costume simultaneously. The shocks running up and down your nerves was enough to have you hastily pulling your hand away, slightly startled. John seemed just a surprised and he massaged his palm with his other hand after he let it fall from its position on the rack. You both remained quiet for a moment, your rapid breaths the only sound bouncing off of the peeling green walls. You cleared your throat suddenly, grabbing John’s attention immediately. You looked up at him and swallowed, suddenly feeling vulnerable under his red hot gaze.

“Did you need anything, John?” You whispered and John coughed, feeling a bit flustered and silly now.

“Um, no, no. The boys wanted me to ask if you’d like to get dinner. Our treat.” He said, nervously shifting from one foot to the other and biting his thumb nail with a nervous enthusiasm. You pulled his thumb from between his teeth and gave him a pointed look, quickly calming him with a smile. You nodded and laced your arm in his, grabbing your purse and locking your eyes with his surprised grey ones.

“I’d love to.” You said simply, guiding him out of the door and down the hall. He prayed you couldn’t feel his pace quicken as you laced your delicate fingers with his ringed ones. As you walked through the mind-bending corridors of the studio, you noticed none of the others boys seemed to be present. John noted your confusion and was quick to explain.

“They got a head start.” He said, gesturing to the empty parking spot that usually housed the band’s beloved van as the two of you exited the studio. You giggled sweetly and John’s heart fluttered.

“Well in that case, let me be the chauffeur. Least I could do for a free dinner.” You said, throwing a smirk his way. He nodded a bit too enthusiastically, like a child answering to the question of “More ice cream?” John laughed at his own nervousness and hopped into your car, the backseat filled with at least seven separate types of fabric, all in an array of different colors. You noticed his eyes scanning the backseat and laughed as you turned the key in the ignition, the car spitting then revving to life smoothly.

“Certainly don’t leave anything to the imagination, huh? I want everyone to know I make clothes for her majesty.” You joked, quickly peeling out into the busy city street. John laughed, his eyes bunching up and the gap of his teeth on full display for to admire. The two of you joked and gave each other the run-around the entire fifteen minute drive, laughing fondly and fiercely like old friends reconnecting. This difference was the prolonged gazes, lip bites, and adoring glances the two of you shared. John sat back against the window as a comfortable silence settled in the vehicle. His eyes scanned your regal profile, tracing the curves and slopes with the darting movements of his irises. You were truly a beauty; classic and modern with a killer personality to boot. John leant his head back on the head rest of his seat and bit at the inside of his lips, the next nine months were certainly going to be interesting.

***

The first date of Queen’s debut US tour was quickly approaching, just days away in fact and you could tell the four musicians were getting antsy. The flight to their first destination was today and you were more than excited to finally be in attendance of the breakout band, in America no less. Their first stop was a state you couldn’t quite recall the name of but you were excited, nevertheless, as you pulled into the parking lot of the studio to meet the band and attending crew. You first noticed John leaning gingerly on the west side of the band’s large tour bus smoking a cigarette, his suitcases resting idly at his feet. You smiled and yanked your key from the ignition, hopping out of your car with a childlike enthusiasm. John noticed this and smiled, walking over to help you with your luggage-ever the gentleman. You joined him at the trunk and gave him an apologetic smile as his eyes widened at the six suitcases stuffed in the small space, not including your carry-on.

“Got to look my best.” You giggled, hauling two suitcases out of the trunk, John copying your actions. He laughed and nodded, gesturing to the many trunks and racks of handmade costumes being loaded into a separate van.

“Understandable, considering you’ve intended to have us dressed to the nines for every show.” He joked and you nodded, a bit embarrassed. You had made an abundance of costumes-maybe enough for two tours, but Freddie insisted.

“So, you excited?” You asked, as the both of you pushed your four largest suitcases into the back of the cargo bus.

“Yeah, a bit nervous but I’ll be alright.” He said, giving you a sweet grin and following you back to your car for the remainder of your bags. You giggled, waving his words off dismissively.

“Nothing to be nervous about, love. You’ll all do fantastic.” You assured him with one of your famous, honeyed smiles and who was John to go against your better judgment. He nodded, grabbing the remainder of your luggage while you closed the trunk and locked your car; looking forward to the next nine months.

***

You were running about the backstage area frantically, preparing for Queen’s first performance in less than two hours. Three of the four of them were dressed, the outfits possessing a similar theme that created a unity among them-they looked like a band. You were doing last minute adjustments, making sure every detail was perfect and ready to be appreciated by the excited eyes of the crowd. After you gave the three of them the okay to relax and shake any pre-show nerves from their system, you looked around in confusion at the area surrounding you. Where was John?

You walked around, feeling dread settle in your stomach as each location you checked proved fruitless. You finally found him, asleep on the couch of the dressing room. You couldn’t stifle your giggle, shaking your head in disbelief.

“John!” You shouted, swatting his leg which hung off of the edge of the worn, leather couch. He stirred slightly but immediately fell back asleep. You huffed, a bit frustrated and antsy now, and shook his shoulders with enough force to wake him. He looked confused for a moment but when his eyes focused on your features, he smiled and yawned.

“God, John, I have no time for your sleepy ass.” You joked as you grabbed his designated costume from his personal rack. He laughed and sat up, stretching his arms above his head. His shirt rode up, revealing his abdomen and the muscles of his arms tensed, then relaxed as they fell into his lap. You felt yourself blush but quickly shoved his outfit, still on the hanger, into his hands.

“Get dressed, goofy. Show time’s in thirty.” You said, moving to grab the makeup, which the entire band was sporting, from the vanity. John noticed this and furrowed his brows.

“Makeup?” He asked, cringing slightly.

“Makeup.” You confirmed, sending him a mischievous smirk. He groaned but continued to change, taking off his t-shirt and pulling the skin-tight vest over his torso. Your breath hitched slightly in your throat, was he really going to change in front of you? You busied yourself, fiddling with random garments and tubes of eyeliner. John proceeded to pull on the tight, jet black trousers and threw the silk kimono over his frame, shifting to study his figure in the mirror. He looked pleased with his appearance.

“Nice job, Y/L/N.” He commented, sitting back down to pull on his tall platform boots. You smiled, and turned to toss a bowtie in his direction. He looked a little confused as his long fingers fiddled with it.

“Put that on and then get over here so I can do your makeup.” You said in your best authoritative voice and John whined from behind you.

Do I have to?” He asked, lacing the bowtie around his throat. You turned and felt your body heat up exponentially as you took in his appearance. Nice job indeed, Y/L/N. You cleared your throat and held a chubby stick of eyeliner up to his face.

“Yes, sir.” You said, grabbing his shoulders and sitting him down in front of the bright lights of the vanity. He huffed and crossed his arms, clearly unhappy with the idea of having what looked like charcoal smeared near his eyes.

“Oh, stop, you big baby. It won’t kill you.” You joked, as you proceeded to line his eyes to the best of your ability, his twitching and constant blinking making it hard. As you applied an ash-grey shadow to his lid, the situation felt weirdly intimate. You could feel his breath fan over your chest and neck and he could feel yours wash over his face. You smelt like roses and tailor’s chalk and he smelt like coffee and adrenaline. It was intoxicating and it took all of your strength to push down the urge to kiss his pouted lips as you completed the envisioned look.

“All done.” You coughed nervously, bringing John out of his trance. He peered at himself in the mirror and laughed.

“I look like a proper dick.” He laughed, scooting closer to the mirror to further examine your work. You giggled and playfully swatted his arms.

“You look like a proper rockstar, Deacon. Now get outta here! You’ve got a show in ten.” You said, eyes widening as you glanced at your wristwatch. You ushered him out of the room, a roadie handing him his bass as you both neared the main stage. You quickly joined the four of them to snap a photo, the flash of the camera blinding them momentarily. You gestured for them to stay put and took a step back to look at your work, perfect. They looked absolutely incredible and you felt pride bubble in your chest, finally seeing your hardwork pay off. You waved them towards the stage with a wide smile.

“Break a leg, boys. I’ll be in the crowd, front and center.” They all nodded, waving and smiling your way as they took the stage; the crowd cheering widely. You walked into the crowd from the wings and politely elbowed your way to the section of people consisting of Queen’s staff, right at the front and to the far left. You took your place next to three friendly roadies and cheered along with the crowd. You sent John a smile, which he returned. The heavy rhythm of John’s bass joined the crowd’s attention and you witnessed pure magic for forty-five minutes. This was the first time you’d seen them perform properly and all of your suspicions were confirmed, they were beyond good.

You understood now the awe they held for you when you created costumes, this was their thing, the thing they were meant to do. You noticed your eyes focus on John much longer than anyone else and it had your entire body humming, unbelievably hot. This didn’t go unnoticed by John, who was trying desperately to shift his weight and cover his arousal with the body of his bass. You looked breathtaking under the purple light illuminating the room and John felt a hunger grow in his lower abdomen. He needed you and no amount of prior hesitation or doubts would stop him once his roadie took his bass from him. The shift in John’s demeanor wasn’t unnoticed by you, his eyes looked desperate and his lips were blood red from constant biting and picking. The show ended, the wails of the adoring crowd pulling you from your daze. You watched the four of them thank the crowd and disappear behind the heavy black curtain separating the people from the band. You were quick to follow them into the wings and then the dressing room, intending to congratulate the four. You knocked quickly and swung the door open with a big smile but only John was there, sat patiently on the same worn couch he’d been napping on a few hours before. You furrowed your brows and walked over to him.

“Where are the others?” You asked, tilting your head at him softly. He smiled, wiping the sweat from his brow with a rag. His eye makeup was smudged and his hair was mussed, he looked like a dream.

“They went for drinks. I wasn’t really feeling it, just wanted to chill.” He said simply, patting the spot next to him, beckoning you to sit down. You did and turned to him with a toothy smile, leaning your head against your hand.

“Enjoy the show?” He asked, taking a sip of water. You watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed and the heat in your belly intensified. You nodded in response, trying to distract yourself from the arousal growing within you.

“I could tell.” He whispered, confidently bringing a hand to your thigh, squeezing gently. Your eyes widened slightly, but you didn’t stop him. He brought his face closer to yours.

“I saw the way you were looking at me. A deer in headlights, really.” He laughs, his warm breath fanning over your neck. You felt a whimper build in your throat as his hand continued to inch up your thigh, squeezing with increasing intensity.

“John..” You trailed off, gasping as his lips brushed across the swell of your collarbone.

“Do you want me?” He says into your neck, soft lips sending shivers throughout your entire body. You couldn’t stop the quiet moan that slipped past your lips and John grinned as his fingers gripped your hips.

“Yes.” You breathed, lacing your fingers in his hair, still slightly damp from sweat. John seemed pleased with your answer, attaching his lips to your neck and sucking softly, determined to work hickies into your delicate skin. You exhaled sharply, your body arching into his, breasts pressed flush against his chest. He continued to mouth at your neck and chest, fingers pushing past the material of your blouse. He removed his lips from your neck and looked into your hooded eyes, pupils dilated in lust.

“May I?” He whispers, eager to remove your top. You nod frantically, feeling suffocated by the fabric. John quickly peels it off of your torso, groaning at the sight hidden underneath.

“My God, Y/N.” He breaths, eyes wide and mouth watering. With a sudden burst of confidence, you hold his gaze and reach behind you to remove your bra and John’s hands tighten their grip on your hips, anticipating every movement. You unclasp and throw your bra to the side, brushing your hair behind you so John can have a complete view of your chest. He moans at the sight of your naked chest, hands coming up from your hips and over your ribs to cup them softly in his hands. His eyes flit up to meet yours in silent permission and you grant it with a delicate moan. He circles his lips around your left nipples, his hand kneading the other. The heat in your abdomen is nearly unbearable as he continues his ministrations. You moaning consistently now, breathy and full of want. John can feel the fabric of his pants grow uncomfortably tight and his legs are shifting in an attempt to relieve some pressure.

“John, please.” You breath out, your arm thrown over your eyes, hips bucking involuntarily. John removes his mouth from your breast, climbing up the length of your body to place a searing kiss to your lips. It steals the air from your lungs and your gasping when he pulls away to speak.

“Yes, dove? What do you need?” He asks, moving to undo your jeans. You moan out, the pressure of his hand on your lower tummy enough to send a shockwave of pleasure through you.

“I want you. All of you.” You say, mind clear enough to sit up and climb upon his lap. John is surprised by your sudden action but doesn’t complain, his hand making themselves comfortable on your hips and effectively grinding you against his hardening length. The friction has your mind spinning and a broken moan escapes the both of you.

“You have me.” He whispers, grabbing your face to pull you into a kiss, sloppy and full of want. You grasp at the material of his kimono, desperate to see him shirtless.

“Off.” You command softly and he complies, taking off his kimono and vest in one motion. Your lips immediately press against the hollow space above his clavicle, moving slowly up the column of his throat. He groans, the feeling of your lips and clothed core against his lap overwhelming his senses. You lower your mouth, kissing your way down his torso until youre above the hem of his trousers. His jaw is clenched tightly now, hands brushing hair from your face as you undo and take off his trousers, leaving him in boxers and smudged makeup only. You stand up with the intention to remove your own pants but you take a moment to admire him. Your eyes doing a slow once over along the entire length of his body. He’s reminiscent of a painting hung on the grand wall of a house with gilded pillars and crystal chandeliers, a stunning sight and it’s all yours. He seems embarrassed under your gaze and you smile dreamily at him, removing your jeans and returning to your position atop his lap. He groans, the idea of only two layers separating you beyond arousing. His fingers are dancing softly along the length of your arms and it only adds to the sensations your experiencing at the moment. You run your hands through his now dry hair, your nails grazing his scalp and his eyes flutter shut.

“You are so beautiful, John.” You whisper into his ear, your fingers brushing back his hair so he doesnt miss a word. He looks at you as you pull away, eyes heavy lidded and smile lazy.

“You’ll be the death of me, dove.” He says quietly, pulling you in for a chaste kiss while his fingers toy with the waistband of your underwear. You know what he’s asking and you nod as his lips press against the base of your throat. He removes them and stuffs them into the pocket of his trousers, which are tossed over the arm of the couch and he looks back at you with a smirk. You giggle and smack his shoulder playfully, the gesture reminding you of classic high school romance. You lean down, your lips mere centimeters from his.

“You don’t need to take them, love. You’ll be seeing a lot more of them after this.” You whisper, silky and beyond seductive and it has John whimpering softly.

“But if you’re going to take them, I’ll need something in return.” You quip, your hands raking down his chest to remove his boxers, his cock promptly slapping against his lower stomach. He groans as a slight amount of pressure is expelled from his body. Your hand delicately grasps his cock, pumping it slowly and your eyes study the micro movements of his face as you do. His eyes are squeezed shut, lip caught between his teeth, and brow brimmed with sweat. You kiss the space behind his ear, your hot breaths bringing him close to release at an alarming pace. He stops your movements and you sit back, confused. His hand grip your hips tightly, rubbing your wet folds against his length slowly, deliberately. You whimper, you nails pressing red, crescent moon shapes into the skin of his shoulders. He groans, his falling back against the couch. His eyes meet yours, his pupils taking up a majority of his grey iris.

“I need to feel you.” He growls, pulling your torso flush against him, your breast pressing against his upper chest.

“I’m waiting for you.” You say smugly, your cockiness melting as he slips into you, the stretch absolutely delicious. You both moan out, your head falling into the crook of his shoulders. After a beat, John experimentally snaps his hips up into yours and the high-pitched moan that escapes you encourages him, setting an intense pace.

“Look at me.” He growls, wanting nothing else but to see you fall apart over him. You meet his eyes, your hips instinctively meeting his in an age-old rhythm.

“John, I-I’m close.” You moan out, hands splayed across his chest. The sensation of him inside you, stretching you, brushing against all four walls is so intense it has you seeing stars.

“Let go, love. I’ve got you.” He whispers, leaning back to watch your features contort in pleasure, still maintaining a brutal pace and intensity. You cum, your walls fluttering against his cock and he’s absolutely in awe at the sight of you. Mouth agape, hair draped around your features, eyes shut in pleasure. John knows he’s close and you can feel it as you ride out your orgasm. You clench around him, hips still bouncing atop him. He groans, biting his lip with enough force to draw blood.

“C’mon, John. Cum for me. Let me feel you.” You whisper into his ear, feeling beyond sensitive as he continues to thrust up into. He cums with a long, strangled moan; his hands gripping your hips with a bruising strength. You both still for a moment, panting heavily, his cock still sheathed inside of you. He gently lifts you up and pulls out, you whimper at the empty feeling. His cum is pooling onto the couch and John curses, grabbing his t-shirt from the floor to catch it. You wince and giggle, leaning down to lay flush against him, your arms wrapping around his neck. His own arms rest atop the length of your lower back, fingers dancing along the soft skin. John is pressing soft kisses into your hair, the both of you waiting for your breathing to even out. After a few moments of stillness, John lifts his head to speak.

“We should probably get dressed. The boys are no doubt on their way back.” He laughs, pulling up his boxers as you move from his lap to stand up. You start to dress and you hear John groan from behind. You turn around to see him in his blue jeans only, holding his soiled t-shirt.

“Don’t worry, love. I have something for you.” You say, wrapping your arms around his middle as you take the shirt from him and toss it into the band’s dirty laundry bag.

“My God, you’re an angel.” He says, gratefully, pulling you into a sweet kiss. You giggle and pull away giving him a clean shirt from the rack across the room.

“I try.” You say smugly, beckoning him with your pointer finger to follow you out of the door. He smiles, not hesitating to fall in line behind you as he pulls the clean shirt over his head. He’s laughing like a child, giddy and without restraint as he wonders what you have in store. Now more than ever, he’s so looking forward to the next nine months.

-Thank you reading! Feedback is very much appreciated! -m:)