#that’s going to haunt me for the rest of my life

[talaok]

How it was

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: After Abby's attempt at Joel's life, he's in the hospital, and while you try to navigate through the difficult feelings having almost lost him bring up, his mind seems to be on a much different, inappropriate, thing.

Warnings: talk of Joel almost dying, mentions of blood. Smut| oral sex (m receiving), attempt at fingering (lol), talk of f receiving oral, and Joel's dirty mouth.

a/n: i haven't watched the new episode yet bc im tired of crying but what i can tell you for sure is that did not happen, my baby is fine and ellie has never been happier.

"Well good mornin' to me"

You were bent over the armchair tidying what had transformed into your bed for the past ten days when you heard him.

His raspy morning voice had you turning around with a smile.

You let go of the blanket in your hand as you walked closer to his bed.

The rising sun was filtering through the windows of the hospital, illuminating his upper body with a golden light.

His face was still bruised and swollen and they hadn't yet taken his stitches out.

A bittersweet feeling filled your heart every time you looked at him, every time he winced as he sat up, every time you watched him struggle to walk for more than ten steps... it hurt, and yet it filled you with joy.

He was alive- he'd come so very close, the closest he'd ever come to the end of it all, and he had survived- he was still here, with you.

"Good morning" you beamed, taking his hand in yours as you sat on his bed "How're you feeling?"

He smirked, but you felt him squeeze your hand tenderly "Would feel a lot better if you turned around and showed me that view again"

You could only roll your eyes, chuckling softly.

"Really baby, you feeling any pain? You need something?"

His lips formed a soft small smile as he brought your hand to his mouth to leave a kiss on it.

"'M great babygirl, dontcha worry"

You very much doubted he was great, but you nodded nonetheless.

He never wanted you to worry, which was silly, because there was nothing else you did these days besides worrying.

"Now c'mon, give me some sugar"

"Joel" you protested immediately "I don't wanna hurt you, let's at least wait to see what the nurse says about the stitches"

You talked as if your protests had ever been anything but futile, as if the moment he gave you those sweet puppy eyes and his honeyed voice called your name you weren't already leaning closer.

"I don't care if it kills me darlin', just give me a kiss"

You stopped dead in your tracks, your mouth an inch from his, your breathing one with his.

"don't joke about that"

You knew it was just a stupid joke. But nothing was really a joke anymore, not since you witnessed him being carried into Jackson unconscious, his bloody face beaten to a pulp, his body so close to being lifeless... you knew that image would haunt you for the rest of your life.

"'m sorry, doll" he apologized, his eyes looking into yours with all the care and love inside him "'m here" he promised, squeezing your hand.

You closed your eyes for a moment, holding back the tears threatening to spill.

"Don't scare me like that ever again"

Your tone was serious, matter of factly, because it all was true. You knew, with terrifying certainty, that if anything like that were to ever happen again, you wouldn't survive it.

"I won't" he murmured, your hand in his the only thing grounding you "I promise you, darlin'"

There were so many more things to say, so many things you had to talk about, so many feelings, fears, and hopes bubbling inside you, and yet all you could do at that very moment was press your lips to his, kissing the man you'd feared losing forever, just to lose yourself in him.

The kiss was sweet, soft, tender even.

You didn't wanna hurt him, his lips were still cut and his cheeks were still bruised.

But despite it all, the feeling of kissing him was exactly the same. If there was one thing that hadn't changed, it was the way he made everything else disappear, every hurt, scare, and sadness dissipated into thin air when his lips were on yours- when his stubble grazed your face, his hands held you, his scent hugged you tight...

It always became just you and him.

And then Joel groaned in pleasure, and in what you knew from experience to be frustration.

Your mouths were still connected, just as your hands, only his tongue was now sloppily tasting you deeper, as his other hand, his injured, tired hand, found your thigh, slowly traveling up and up until two of his fingers infiltrated between your thighs, rubbing your cunt through your jeans.

You couldn't help but huff a laugh.

There he was, bedridden and barely alive, and he was still trying to get in your pants... quite literally.

"Joel" you chuckled.

He didn't answer, instead, he only compelled his head to lean forward to deepen your kiss as his hands started fighting with the button holding your jeans together.

The angle was uncomfortable and he was very clearly struggling, but you just sighed into his mouth, silencing your amusement.

It took about a full minute for him to unbutton your pants, but once he finally did, he slid two of his fingers beneath the fabric as quickly as he could, which wasn't a lot given the position.

You obeyed his silent command to spread your legs, but even as his fingers reached your clothed slit, he couldn't do much more than try to caress your pussy.

"Baby" you murmured with a smile as he desperately tried to pleasure you "do you really think now's the time?"

"yeah," he breathed without missing a beat.

Just then his fingers drew higher and came in contact with your clit, making you stifle a soft moan.

But the jeans were too damn tight, and he really had no space to work with.

"take 'em off"

You couldn't help but grin.

He had not changed. Not one bit.

"Joel I can't exactly take my pants off in here right now"

He groaned, his big brown eyes pleading you.

"why not?"

You laughed as you took his wrist in your hand and started leading his fingers off of you, to which he protested with a frustrated noise deep in his chest.

"Because baby... not only is the door open" you said, glancing at it " but anyone could come in at any moment"

He groaned, his hand on your thigh now.

"That never stopped us before"

He earned himself a pointed glare with that one.

You weren't gonna be caught pantsless as your barely alive husband fingered you. No way in hell.

"Then put a sock on the handle or somethin'"

An amused snort left you at that.

"This is hospital baby, not a frathouse"

Those deep brown, expressive eyes of his were completely shadowed with lust- the man was desperate.

Ten days of no sex and he was already looking like a deprived, starved man... not to mention the fact that he had begun to touch you inappropriately on day two.

He almost died, and instead of wishing to watch the sun rise again or listen to birds chirp in the morning, all the man seemed to think of was pussy... yours specifically.

"please sugar"

Goddamn, those damned puppy eyes.

Those two words were all you needed before you got up and started towards the door.

You heard him groan behind you.

"You're gonna leave your man layin' here blueballed?"

You laughed softly as you closed the door, hoping to god that the nurses would get the hint and not come in.

You didn't answer, you just walked back to him, watching his eyes sparkle with excitement once you took the blanket off of him.

How the man still looked hot in a hospital gown was something that needed to be studied.

His left leg, where he'd been shot, was bandaged completely, while the naked right one showed off his hairy thighs, which made warmth spread low in your belly... yeah maybe you'd missed sex too.

Silently, your hand went to the skin that was covered by the very hem of his gown, slowly trailing up and up and up until you cupped his hardening manhood through his boxers.

"fuck" he breathed, struggling to prop himself further up on the bed to get a better view.

You raised your eyebrow, shooting him a look- the last thing you wanted was for him to hurt himself.

"You've got to listen to hear if anyone's coming and warn me if that's the case, ok?"

He nodded mindlessly, his sole focus on your hand stroking his dick.

"yeah- sure" he murmured, urgency and need straining his voice.

Yeah, you were fucked.

Nonetheless, you hiked his gown up and pulled his underwear down- his cock was hard as a rock and you hadn't even done anything more than put your hand on it.

You bent over, looking to the side at him as you slowly, oh so slowly, started kissing his tip.

He twitched in your hand as your tongue darted out to kitty lick him, precum leaking from him just in time for you to taste it.

You were looking at him with those godforsaken sexy eyes you'd get as you finally wrapped your mouth around him, and Joel... Joel was in another universe already.

He groaned, shifting his hips up with a painful grunt as you hummed around him, starting to bob your head as you fit more and more of him inside your mouth.

"Fuck me-" he couldn't help but moan "fuck that feels good darlin'"

He strained his neck as his head fell back against the cushions, his eyes shutting close as his tip hit the back of your throat, making you gag.

He was fisting the blanket so hard his knuckles were white as chalk, and his breathing was so erratic that he was half sure the doctors would run in at any moment because the monitor would pick up him having a heart attack.

"Jesus Christ" he groaned.

Your mouth felt better than anything on this earth at the moment. You were sucking him so tight and god but you had him so deep inside you.

"Just like that" he breathed, watching your eyes water as you forced almost all of him down your throat.

It had been four years and you still couldn't get all of him in- at this point you'd given up trying- He was just too damn big.

"so good for me sweetheart" he grunted, observing his cock go in and out of you "Such a good girl-fuck"

Your hand had found his balls, massaging them tenderly- which meant Joel was pretty much done for.

"Goddamnit-- I'm gonna- I-"

He erupted, filling your mouth with his spent before he could even finish the sentence- and you were more than happy to swallow it all up.

He was breathing heavily, watching you with half-lidded eyes as you smiled up at him, before tucking him back in his boxers and putting the blanket back on top of him.

All sounds from outside suddenly filled the room again, reminding you of where you were... and what you'd just done.

"What did I do to deserve you?" he asked, smiling as you reached his side again.

"beats me" you teased, leaving a quick kiss on his lips.

He groaned from deep in his chest, his hand coming up to stroke your cheek.

"We still need to take care 'f ya darlin'"

"no, we don't" you immediately shook your head.

A side of his lips twisted into a smirk as he got an idea.

You didn't wanna take off your pants, and it's not like he could much to change position given his state, so that meant only one thing...

"Sit on my face"

And yes that idea made you hornier than you already fucking were, but unlike your husband, you still had some sense of decency left in you.

"I'm scared to hurt you when I kiss you and you think I'm gonna sit on your face?"

He looked at you for a moment, trying to figure out if there was any way he could convince you- unfortunately, the results came back negative.

"A man can dream" he sighed as he guided you down for another kiss.

"Let me get a taste at least"

Your lips parted in stunner- he really was desperate today.

"Jesus baby" you huffed, your mouth betraying you with a smile "H-how am I even supposed to do that, you really shouldn't force your hands to struggle too much, it could be bad for-"

His eyes sparked with mischief as he murmured "There ain't nothing wrong with yours though, ain't that right sugar?"

Heat crept up your face as you understood, but seeing the unadulterated need in his iris, the strain in his voice as he whispered 'Just a taste'... in seconds your own hand was in your panties.

"This is dirty..." you murmured, eyeing the door as your fingers delved between your folds, gathering up your slick.

"we've done worse" he breathed, his eyes only on what was happening beneath your jeans.

The worst part was that you actually had.

You swallowed thickly as you pulled your hand out of your pants, guiding your glistening fingers to Joel's mouth.

He wasted no time opening his lips, sucking greedily on your digits, a groan rumbling from deep in his throat at the taste.

You bit your lip, watching the scene unfold as you pressed your thighs together to relieve some of the burning pressure.

He would have probably gone on for god knows how long if you hadn't pulled your fingers out of his mouth.

His cock was hard again and he was goddamn tired of being in this hospital bed.

He wanted to go back to his old life. To his house, his wife, his daughter.

He wanted to get back to waking you up in the morning with his tongue between your thighs- not... this.

So he brought your head down, guiding you for yet another kiss that overflowed with all the hopes and dreams he had about it all going back to how it was.

"fuck me-" he groaned in between desperate kisses "I miss our life- I miss... shit babygirl, I your pussy"

You laughed softly into his mouth before leaning away, a devious spark in your eyes.

"Tell you what...I'll wear a skirt tomorrow" you murmured, ghosting his lips "and I think the weather might be a bit too hot for panties"

The groan he let out at that caused a nurse to worriedly rush in.

[seprattsobservations]

I once had a horrendous dream about me and my daughter being in a haunted house somewhere in the woods. There was a demon witch in the basement and we were desperately trying to find a way out.

My daughter fell into the basement and I had to overcome a tremendous amount of fear to go down there and rescue her.

I mustered the courage and found my daughter hiding in a dark corner. We crawled through a hole in the foundation where a bulkhead used to be and then booked it towards the woods. When I looked back I saw the demon witch standing outside the hole staring at us as we ran.

I woke up soaked in sweat. I felt terrible all the rest of the day.

I swear this house in the photo looks like the house in that dream. I must have seen this picture before and forgotten. I don��t know. But chills ran down my spine when I saw it on Tumblr.

For years afterward I had a recurring theme or dreamscape from that dream. I would be in a dream and be near woods and then realize I was near the demon witch house. Or I would dream I was back in that house again, desperately trying to be quite so as not to get the demon witch’s attention.

I finally stopped falling back into that dreamscape/theme. I realize now that it coincided with elevated levels of stress in my life.

Cheers

[bitters-n-sweets]

what survived the fire pt. 1 — jack abbot x fem!reader Years after battlefield promises are shattered by war, Jack is haunted by the combat medic who saved his life—until she walks into his ER, very much alive.

warnings: imagine any age you want, maybe the reader is immortal or smth | reader was in the same tour as jack once | blood, almost dying | hints at su1c1d4l tendencies | nothing 18+, but minors still go away masterlist | part two (wip)

[flashback]

"Don't you die on me, Jack."

Jack's eyes fluttered, blood staining his teeth when he coughed. You caught the splatter against your cheek and didn’t even flinch. He tried to speak, and you silenced him with a firm shake of your head.

"You promised me coffee when this is all over, remember? You can't go back on your word now."

You pressed harder on his wound, felt the strain in your body, but you wouldn't give up. You wouldn't let him go. The blast had taken out a lot of people, left the rest of the convoy a disaster.

But all you could see was the man in front of you. The surgeon who had come to the field a few weeks ago, who worked with his sleeves rolled up, with his sharp senses and wit, who had made you laugh when you forgot what laughter sounded like amidst the blood and chaos.

And he was dying in your arms.

[present day]

Jack sits upright suddenly as another nightmare courses through him, sweat clinging to his skin. He's been having the same nightmare for the 3rd time this week. Always about you.

He's never stopped thinking about you. You were the one thing he looked forward to on his last tour a few years ago. He didn't even know why he said yes to the deployment in the first place, but getting to know you made it more than bearable.

Jack decides to come in early for his shift. He's got nothing better to do anyway, and it's not like he'll be able to sleep some more.

"Jack?" Robby calls as he sees him, "You're way too early."

"Can't sleep." He says, colder than usual without realizing.

"The same nightmare again?"

Jack's jaw tenses. "Yeah."

[flashback]

“What’s your life like?” you’d asked, your voice low. “Outside all of this mess.”

The two of you were tucked behind a supply tent, sharing a small, half-empty bottle of whiskey passed between gloved hands. It was late. And after a long, hard day, you both needed a friend.

Jack leaned back against the canvas wall, eyes on the stars like they might offer a real answer. “Still in the ER. Still patching people up. Going to therapy. Dodging my self-destructive habits.”

You blinked, surprised. “Therapy? Huh.”

“What?” he asked, almost smiling.

“Didn’t expect that,” you admitted. “No offense, but guys in this line of work don’t usually line up for therapy.”

Jack shrugged, taking another sip. “Guess I got tired of trying to outrun my own head. Figured I’d give something else a shot.”

You watched him in the dim light, shadows softening the edges of his face. There was something vulnerable in the way he said it—something that made you feel warm inside.

“You’re a good man, Jack,” you said, quiet and sure.

He glanced at you then, unsure of how to process what you just said. His hand brushed yours when he reached for the bottle again, but he didn’t pull away. Neither did you.

[present day]

"I can't stop dreaming about her." Jack says, knowing it's Robby behind the railing of the rooftop.

Robby steps up beside him, leaning on the cold railing. "Well what's she like?"

Jack lets out a quiet chuckle, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. "She was young. But not really—she had this old soul thing going. Like she’d seen more than most of us and still came out swinging."

"She's smart. Stubborn. Brave. Had this spark that could light up the darkest places... she’d rock anyone’s world."

Robby doesn’t speak, just listens.

"I promised her we’d get coffee when it was over. I’d show her around town, give her something normal... let her into the parts of my life that didn’t hurt.” Jack’s voice breaks just slightly. "I wanted her to see something good for once." Jack fights the tears threatening to fall over.

"She saved my life, Robby. And I couldn’t save her."

"Is she...?" Robby leaves his question unfinished.

Jack sighs. "MIA. That’s all they told me. No body. No signs. Just—gone. So they slapped on a label and called it closure."

He laughs bitterly under his breath, because the system failed them.

[flashback]

"So what's your life like?" Jack asked you this time.

You looked at him and chuckled. "Not much. Been here my whole life, never knew anything else besides GSWs and traumas."

Jack went quiet.

"Sorry, that's too depressing." You laughed awkwardly. "Um, I like jazz, or blues. Whiskey is a new thing I like—thanks to you, and uh.. here's something weird, I used to want to be a writer. I don’t know, stupid dream, I guess. Never really had the time."

"It's not stupid," Jack said. "Wanting something quieter, gentler than this."

"Gentler?"

"Yeah." He said. "You're still carrying something good, something calm in you. Don't lose that."

You tried to play it off, laughing softly as you looked down at your boots. "You say stuff like that and I forget we’re sitting in a field hospital with six wounded and a crate of morphine that’s probably expired."

Jack smiled. "You make this place bearable. At least to me."

You met his eyes then. And something in your chest shifted—makes you want to lean on him.

"Someday," he said, voice low and sure, "I hope you write about it. All of it."

You shook your head with a quiet laugh. "Only if you promise to read it."

"Deal."

[present day]

Jack's back at work, buried with patients and he feels like his head is about to explode. He's halfway through reviewing charts at the nurses' station when Gloria calls him over.

"Got a minute?"

Jack doesn’t even look up. "Robby's not here."

"Wasn't looking for him."

With a heavy sigh, he sets the chart down and rubs the bridge of his nose before stepping around. "To what do I owe the pleasure, Gloria?"

"We’ve got a new trauma fellow transferring in today. She’s doing her first rotation with you."

Jack glances at the folder Gloria hands him, flipping through it without giving much thought. The name doesn’t register at first—he’s skimming more out of habit than curiosity. "Okay, is she here yet?"

"She should arrive any second now—oh, there she is."

Jack turns.

And time stops.

You’re standing just past the entrance, signing in with Ahmad, your coat slung over one arm with a stethoscope in your pocket. The light catches your face—you look older, changed, but he'd recognize you anywhere.

His stomach drops. He forgets how to breathe. Jack hears his own heart in his ears, pounding so hard it’s drowning out the sounds of the ward. He doesn’t move. Can’t.

You don’t see him at first, too busy scanning the ER. But then your gaze lands on his.

You freeze. Your expression shifts—confusion, disbelief, almost afraid. "J-Jack?"

Gloria glances between the two of you, puzzled. "You two... know each other?"

Jack doesn’t answer. He’s still staring at you like you’re a ghost—because as far as he knew, you were.

-----

a/n: i can't get him out of my head help

[ihaveopinionsonalotofthings]

Every time I think of Lucy Gray Baird and the covey for more than a few seconds (which is all the time) I start to go a little insane. Bc what do you mean that's it? That's all we get? l know that's how it's supposed to be. I know that we're not supposed to know. Lucy Gray haunts the narrative like she haunts Snow. And to achieve that, we can't know. BUT I WANT TO KNOW. I would give anything to know. I would sell my soul.

Did she escape? If she did where did she go? To district 13? Some other district? The borders are strictly monitored, but if two rebels from district 8 made it to 12 in Catching fire (with heightened security due to the uprisings), then lucy gray could have too. But how far would she get, being a victor, before someone takes notice?

Did she stay in 12? Did she hide out in the forest? Did the covey mark her grave to make everyone believe that she died? Is her grave empty? Is it not? Her family obviously knows what happened. Lenore Dove knows something. But they're secretive about it. Is that to keep her safe and undetected? Or is it grief? Are they covering for her, or are they mourning?

If she did die, how? Was it Snow? Did he kill her and never realise? Did he drop her body into the lake, but believe that it was the guns? Was it his not-really-all-there brain that created this mystery. Did he kill her and then live the rest of his life in haunted by her memory?

I know we'll never find out. And that is the beauty of it. Lucy Gray remains a mystery just like her ballad. Maybe she died. Maybe she didn't. But it's killing me that we'll never know. I understand that is the point. But I just want to have the reassurance that she is still out there, alive and well, singing to the mockingjays.

[foreverromanticising]

call me when you know better - ln4: a renegade sequel

chapter one: betty - taylor swift

lando norris x fem!reader | 2.7k words | a mini series for our favourite summery pair as we've all missed them dearly | i have another ln4 ongoing fic here, go read! | pls chat to me

Summer was but a memory, ever-fleeting and hard to grasp. Just like Lando had been, he was summer; he embodied the hours spent in the sun, sand beneath your nails, and his kisses salty from the sea water. But, he was summer and summer wasn’t forever. It could only last so long before reality would come knocking on the front door once again. So, as summer came to an end, so did Lando.

The end of summer would creep its way in through a crack in the window, unexpected but inevitable. Summer’s end was sticky, honey trapped to fingertips, and you tried to scrub away the memories but they lingered, the sweet scent making itself ever present. You had fought against letting Lando seep under your skin, haunting your every thought even months after you had left Greece.

You wanted to end your travels early once everything with Lando had come crashing down in front of your very eyes, and so you headed back home to London; far away from Greece, placing a distance between yourself and Lando, making sure you didn’t spend any more of your time questioning what had happened.

For days which soon bled into weeks, you tossed and turned over the ‘what if’s as you pondered what could’ve been different. Though, ultimately, you knew there wasn’t much that you could’ve done to change the outcome of your summer with Lando. He was a rich boy, a trust fund kid you had come to assume, who was deeply stuck in his ways. He didn’t want to let anyone in, not after he had opened his arms and welcomed you in at first, only to push you away once he had decided he was done.

That was his choice, and you were fine with that. You had a life to go back to, and ending things with Lando had simply sped up that process. Life returned to normal; you managed to pick up shifts back at work, your mornings and nights spent on the tube commuting back and forth, trying to push away the memory that was you spending your mornings and nights wrapped up in Lando’s arms, only a month ago. 

Your eye would catch, every so often, on the glint of your necklace in the reflection of the tube windows; the necklace that Lando had gifted you, ever a reminder. Whilst you tried to to bury away the memories of Lando, or rather the feelings that had bene hurt as a result of him, you kept the necklace. There was a small piece of you that wanted to carry the reminder of your summer, of him, with you and so the four-pronged necklace did the job.

And so, months continued to fly by as your life started to return to normal. Summer started to slip by you even back home in England, skipping autumn as a whole and jumping straight into winter though you would hardly expect anything less. It was easy to forget about Lando when you had forgotten what the sun had looked like, becoming more acquainted with the feeling of raindrops on your cheeks rather than the feeling of suncream resting on your skin.

You could hardly tell your days apart between shifts, making time for a night out with your friends here and there, but really you spent your time with a customer service smile plastered to your face. 

“Shit, I left my wallet with my boyfriend- I’ll be two seconds, I swear.” The girl you were currently serving dug around her bag for a moment before realising she was at a loss, offering an apologetic smile before she spun on her heel. 

You waited for a few moments, watching as she reappeared with her boyfriend. London was small, sure, but you hadn’t truly understood how small it was until Max sauntered into the store behind his girlfriend.

“Max? You’re- hey.” You couldn’t hide the shock that worked its way onto your face once Max Fewtrell stood in front of you, his smile bright as he beamed back at you,

“Here? Yeah, ‘could say the same to you- you just vanished after Greece.” He took a hesitant step closer, as though he was fearful you would disappear if he came to close to you.

“I just came home, I didn’t go far.” You shrugged and turned yourself back to packing away his girlfriend’s purchases.

“You didn’t even say bye,” Max knew that the store you were working in was hardly the place to be having such a conversation but he couldn’t walk away from the opportunity now. “I thought you’d come to Monaco, I thought you and Lando were for-”

“Well, you’ve got him to blame for that,” You interrupted him before he would say something you didn’t want to hear, something that you had also believed. “I really don’t want to do this here, Max- it was nice seeing you and all but I need to go back to work.”

“How long ‘till you’re finished?” He wasn’t above begging you to stay and continue chatting to him so he was more than willing to relocate the conversation, not daring to let you slip through his fingers as Lando had let you through his. “We should go get a drink, catch up.”

“I’m done at seven.” You had pushed past the memories that stung from summer but, ultimately, you had never had an issue with Max.

You made quick work of closing the store and dashing to the pub down the road that Max had suggested. 

“Y’know, I didn’t think you’d actually turn up.” Max stood up and opened his arms for a quick hug, a pint already sat on the table waiting for you.

“Why would I not?” You were in no position to turn down his offer for you had missed him just as much as your time in Greece.

“Figured you might hate me as much as Lando, didn’t want to overstep.” His eyes flickered around the pub, taking note of what the many TV screens were playing before diverting his attention back to you - wondering how long it would take for your eyes to follow.

It took hardly a few seconds, much shorter than what Max had anticipated, before your eyes caught on to the TV screen above the bar. Or rather, what was playing on the TV screen. Lando was front and centre, speaking into a mic that was shoved into his face as crowds of people were running around him with tyres held above their heads.

He smiled as he spoke but it was one that you didn’t recognise, barren of the same joy you had come to know in Greece. The sun hit off of his face but he lacked the same glow from summer, his tan that glittered under the Grecian sun. His curls that you had come to love, usually perfectly sat and crusted with sea salt were now hidden under an orange cap.

You could hardly tear your eyes away from the screen, trying to wrap your head around the scenes that were playing in front of you. You knew Lando liked cars but you believed him when he said sports cars, you never could’ve imagined the cars that could be seen in the background behind him.

“Lando,” Your words were confused as you spoke, confused as to who you were seeing on the screen for he was nothing like the Lando you had known. “I thought yous were- what’s he doing? He never said anything.”

“I always thought he would’ve told you,” Max felt as though a wait had been taken off of his shoulders for the secret Lando had been keeping from you had been eating away at him. “I think he always wanted to, I just don’t think he wanted you caught up in this world.”

“What world?” From the very short clip, you had realised that Lando was in Formula One but you couldn’t say you had ever known anything about the sport.

“The fame and the pressure, Lando can hardly handle it himself, and trust me I know he only wanted what was best for you- even if he didn’t go about it in the best way. He’s a fucking idiot but he means well,” He couldn’t defend his friend’s actions but he could understand his point of view. “He’s needed the focus this season but I know he regrets it- we’re heading to Brazil in a few days for a race, and I know it’s a long shot but I was gonna ask if you wanted to come along. I know he could do with seeing your face right about now, he’s not been the same guy since summer.”

“Max, I don’t know if I want to see him or if he even wants to see me,” The offer excited you, there was no hiding that, but you knew it would be irresponsible to take Max up on it. You had spent so long learning to box away the memories of Lando, pursuing a new life without thinking of him, and you knew this would only open that same box. “I have work, I can’t just up and leave to see Lando especially when he wants nothing to do with me.”

“Please, take the week off, he’ll get your flights and your passes covered. I just have a good feeling about this, I think you’re meant to be there,” Perhaps it was a coincidence, or perhaps it was fate, but Max believed that running into you so randomly was fate and he was determined to keep you near. “Take some time to decide but we leave Wednesday so give me a text before then and we’ll sort you out.”

And so, you took a day or two to mull over Max’s proposition alongside the new Lando that had been revealed to you. You didn’t want to be stupid and run back to him but you couldn’t help but agree with Max, that maybe there were too many coincidences leading up to that point for it to be a mistake. Soon enough, you had booked a week of annual leave from your job and you were sat beside Max and his girlfriend - Pietra - on a plane over to Brazil.

It was stupid, truly, but you wanted to hear the truth from Lando himself; that he had wanted more with you but his newfound, hidden, F1 career had taken over his life that year. You had never kept up with F1, sure you had sat along your friends at watch parties for races but you hardly paid attention to the screen - if you had, you probably would’ve known Lando far before Greece.

So, you couldn’t say you didn’t feel ever so slightly bad walking into the paddock in Brazil as you knew people worked their whole lives to be able to attend a race and this opportunity had simply fallen into your lap, not that you had much appreciation for the racing itself. Instead, your sights were set for Lando. You figured it couldn’t have been too hard to find him, coming to learn his team colours were bright orange and his racing number was 4 which suddenly allowed the meaning of your necklace to click into place.

You spent Friday at the paddock floating around, trying to soak the environment in properly. Max and Pietra had opted to skip out of the Friday sessions but you stayed put, lingering within the Mclaren hospitality suite with your eyes peeled. It wasn’t long before you caught Lando for the first time in months. Your heart caught in your throat once you caught a glimpse of him, his face flat as he tried to cut through a crowd of people. 

He looked up for all of a moment and if he had been a second too quick, he would’ve missed you. But he hadn’t. And for a second, he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him, that he was so exhausted his brain was merely hallucinating you only a few feet in front of him. But he was wrong, once again, as he beelined across the room to see you. Closer, for it had been too long since he had seen your face properly and even then his memories of your face were tainted for the last time he had seen you, your face was tear-streaked and red raw from crying.

The summer came back to him in a flash as he stood in front of you; the pure joy, the comfort that he allowed himself to revel in suddenly flooded through him in that moment. He wanted to reach and take your hand, feel your skin against his one more time, but he wouldn’t push his luck that much. He was grateful to see you again as he doubted he would ever have that opportunity again after how he had treated you at the end of your summer together.

“What are you doing here? Are you real?” Lando had to force his hands to remain by his sides, itching to simply tuck your hair behind your ear they way he loved to do. “Sorry, fuck, that’s weird, that’s like really weird of me to say. I just didn’t expect to see you here, ever.”

“Yeah, I bumped into Max a few days ago- London’s not as big as you would think,” You let out a nervous laugh, unable to push away the nerves that bubbled in your throat. “We got to talking and I found out you’re some world-class, famous driver? So here I am.”

“You didn’t have to come here,” Lando shook his head, struggling to process what was happening in front of him. The lengths you had travelled to see him, after all that time. “I don’t deserve to see you.”

“You don’t but I figured you’d need some emotional support.” You shrugged, knowing he was right, knowing you shouldn’t have made the journey you had just to see him. 

But your heart had ached once you had seen him cross your TV screen and soon enough your flight was booked.

“You didn’t have to lie to me, y’know, about all of this,” You sighed as you looked around the paddock, uncomfortable with the loud banging and spurring engine sounds from cars whilst Lando looked settled, at peace, within the environment. This was where he belonged, you just couldn’t believe he had kept it from you. “I would’ve understood, I could’ve been here for you through this.”

"You don't deserve to be strung along in this mess," He shook his head as the excitement of having you in front of him was beginning to wear off as the same anxieties that he held during summer began to creep back in. "This is my mess, and you're so much more than it.”

“Yeah, but I deserved to at least know about it, no? I should be able to make the decision myself, if I want to be involved in this or not,” Your words were slightly bitter but you figured Lando deserved as much. “I mean, you told me you were a chauffeur, for fuck’s sake.” 

“I know, I just wasn’t thinking,” He sighed as everything he had tried to push away from summer came back to him; the horrible ending he forced onto the two of you. “I don’t want to do this here, I have practice soon but I’m free tonight if you are- you could come up to my room, we could chat.”

“I’m free, yeah, but Lando I don’t even have your number,” You were glad that you could seemingly talk to Lando without any hint of awkwardness but you couldn’t push away the reminders of summer that lurked into your mind. “I hardly know you, I only know the you that you wanted me to know.”

“Well, tonight you can get to know me, the real me,” Lando scribbled his number down on a scrap piece of paper from his pocket before sliding it into your hand. “And I can give you a real apology for how I acted in Greece, sound good?”

[antivan-sprig]

✨Yet another ask game ✨

This has been sitting in my drafts for weeks now! Figured I may as well post. Initially this was going to be centered around death and ghosts, but some other questions ended up sneaking in.

Ghosts

Libations: Does Rook have any rituals or traditions surrounding death? Do these change depending on their relationship to the dead person?

Green Lady: Is Rook haunted by any of the deaths they caused or were exposed to?

Palatine light: Does Rook believe in fate? If yes, does Rook believe in harbingers of fate?

Premonition: How does Rook imagine they will die?

Katabasis: Does Rook believe in an afterlife? Do they think they’ve earned their place in a positive or negative one? (A.K.A does Rook think they’re going to hell?)

Family & Culture

Middle child: What role (if any) did Rook play in their family? (Ex: Oldest daughter who is emotionally responsible for her parents)

Turmoil: What was the biggest source of tension in their family

Traditions: Does Rook observe/celebrate any religious or cultural holidays?

Rules: What values were instilled in them growing up? How does Rook feel about them?

Growth: How did Rook’s family environment contribute to their personality and sense of self?

Forfeiture

Two out of three: If Rook was forced to go without one of the following for the rest of their life, what would they pick: Romantic love, familial love, platonic love.

Sacrifice: Who, if anyone, would Rook die for?

Lethe: If Rook could forget one thing (person, event, etc) what would it be?

Wrath: Has Rook ever struggled with the concept of forgiveness when enacting justice?

Authority

Power: What makes Rook feel powerful?

Command: Would/has Rook ever purposely manipulated someone? How do they feel about that?

Mastery: How much control does the Rook have on their internal conflicts at any given time?

Tricks: Have Rook’s flaws ever been exploited?

Leadership: How does Rook handle criticism from their mentors?

Love, Habits, Beliefs

Me, myself, and I: Are there any habits or quirks Rook is protective of? (Ex: Lisel hates when people comment on her eating habits- mixing everything in one big bowl)

Breathe in: How does Rook manage their emotions? Do they have any coping mechanisms?

Soulmates: Does Rook believe in true love?

Faults: What flaws does Rook have when it comes to engaging with others? Are they aware of these flaws?

Mirror: Describe a moment of self realization for Rook.

Decisions: Describe a moral dilemma that Rook has faced.

[bookinit02]

francesca’s arc has me SOBBING

[eelektrossfan]

Random and fun doodles, silly sketches if you will

[sichore]

this brainrot took hold in record time

[iwantoceans]

I was hoping you would come through

[worblewobble]

something about walking eyes

[imagionationstation]

Hey, I realized something recently:

When Raph changed back from a vampire he acted like he remembered the experience.

When he WAS a vampire he mentioned eating spiders and rats 👀

Deduction: my insect fearing child quite possibly remembers *chonking down live spiders*!

I have deep feelings about this but for now I'll just leave that tidbit with you.

Oh. Oh, I forgot about that…

[millidew]

he really didn’t think it’d end like this

[planesfly]

Ths poolverine brainrot has gotten to me good lord they definitely fucked in that Honda Odessey

[angelalxx]

Not to dampen the mood anymore but I think everyone should know that buzzer went off and georgie went straight off the ice, no looks, no quick words, straight to the back :(

[daisynik7]

nii-chan chaser supremacy

hell yeah, here are my fave nii-chans in no particular order: