#that your stupid brain can’t properly protect you from even though that’s what it’s taught itself to do?

[blonkk]

just discovered another way i was irreversibly fucked up as a child. the puzzle is getting pieced together but so what. once all the pieces are there they’ll be there but how does this improve or complete my life. it’s literally just like ….ok…cool….that makes sense…that explains some stuff…now what

[diavolosthots]

Felt like crying, so I came to you, my friend! Mc and Mammon went out shopping, specifically to buy gifts for his brothers, as an apology. When they get back home they are met with hostility. They berate Mammon until Mc screams at them to shut up, then rips into each of them for their treatment of Mammon. Then finishes with "Don't expect Mammon to stay here when he can live with me in the humanworld. I'm done with you. Mammon, lets go, you deserve better, love" and leaves w/ Mammon. Thank you!

You came to me because you felt like crying and that gives me two (2) things to think about. 1.) I'm apparently someone who people see as a tissue? 2.) My angst is just THAT good. Also! Apparently today is rain on Mammon day and I'm here for it not me avoiding my exam to write these things

Warning: uh.... Angst?

Soul-Searching (MAMMON X GN!READER ft. THE BROTHERS)

“You know, I’m proud of you for suggesting this.” Truly, you were. Mammon was your favorite and you felt for him, but you also completely understood where his brothers came from. At first, it honestly annoyed you as well; the constant stealing, the lying… You tried blaming it on his avatar, but even then it doesn’t explain the lying that comes with it. However, you do realize that it’s a habit and it’s a habit that is hard to fix, so instead of constantly getting onto him like the rest, you tried to understand him a bit more and give him some life advice. So far, you have managed to get Mammon to give back all the things he has recently taken from his brothers, and some of them even got an apology. You’ll be working on how to properly apologize, though, because oof, that was a mess. 

And now? Now you managed to take a small trip with him downtown to at least attempt to make things better. Mammon is now, or at least today, using his own money to buy some things that his brothers would be fond of: a new vinyl player for Lucifer (non-cursed), a new Ruri-chan t-shirt for Leviathan, a neck pillow for Satan because lord knows he has some cramps back there with the way he leans over and down to read his books. Then some perfume for Asmodeus that he had been swooning about, a gift card to Beel’s favorite restaurant for the glutton, and a heated blanket for Belphie. You were proud, truly, that Mammon wanted to do this. As a matter of fact, he was the one who suggested it. “Maybe… uh.. I could… ya know… buy somethin’ they like” is what he said. You were just excited and agreed to help. 

Now you were going back to the house with a few shopping bags and ice cream almost fully eaten. You paid for the ice cream, as a way to reward Mammon, and you’re sure he’s secretly thanking you for that because some of these items truly did burn a hole into his credit card, which is partially his fault. “Lucifer deserves more than some random vinyl player.” his words, not yours. Also “satan needs one of them neck pillows that massage it, too!” again, his words. So yeah, some money was definitely spent on these items, but… once again, you were proud. “I think they’ll love everything, Mam. They’d be fools if they didn’t.” Hearing you say that made Mammon feel a lot better, honestly, and a small rush of confidence came to the surface “Ya betcha they will! Nothin’ but the best from the Great Mammon!” You just laughed. 

However, upon arrival, it was a different sight. As a matter of fact, you barely made it through the door before Beel was grumbling something about Mammon eating his custard, which is true, but it’s just a custard? “MAAMMMOONNN!!” and then there was Lucifer who appeared so fast you wondered if he was even real. He went on a whole rant about how irresponsible Mammon is and how another bill came in the mail that talks about Mammon’s debt. Satan and Belphegor teamed up to show empty hands, which left both you and Mammon confused, but then “do you see anything here? No? That’s because you sold our belongings, Mammon!” Mammon can be lucky that Leviathan was still holed up in his room because he just remembered that he also, at some point in the past, sold one of Levi’s figures. Asmodeus came last and honestly he wasn’t mad, he was just annoyed. “I saw you go through my things, Mammon. Nothing was taken, but it was still so incredibly rude!” 

Next followed a screaming match which was basically just Mammon trying to defend himself, trying to show the bags and apologize, but none of them would have it. It irritated you. Yes, they had every right to be mad because personal belongings should stay with their owner(s), but at the same time, they didn’t even give Mammon a chance to explain, especially after he’s been holding the bags up and attempting to apologize. “You’re so stupid, Mammon” “StupidMammon” “so irresponsible. You know better than that. Do you need another time out session, Mammon?” “I can’t believe you’d go through my stuff again!” by now your eyes were twitching and the voices echoing off the walls surely didn’t help your case. One more word and you’d snap, surely, especially since Mammon’s hand is now shaking and you grabbing it did nothing at all. “We would be better off without you.”

Ah yes, there it is. The final straw. The amount of anger boiling inside you right now isn’t even manageable anymore and you’re surprised that Satan, as the Avatar of Wrath, has yet to notice it. “Shut up! Shut up, Shut up, Shut up! All of you!” You yanked Mammon behind you, almost protectively and Belphegor found the need to laugh at it. “Really? You’re going to protect him?” Oh, there. That’s your first victim. “Are you really that dense, Belphegor, or is sleep still clouding your brain cells? That is your brother you’re currently making fun of and I don’t know about you, but I was taught that family sticks together, blood related or by choice. So how about you get your head out of dreamland, take this stupid heated blanket that he bought for you, as an apology, and wake up for a second.” yes, you did throw the bag at him and then you pointed your finger at Beel. You’d regret later on that you’re tearing into him as well because Beel means well at the end of the day, but still, he was also part of this. 

“You’re my least worry, Beel. Honestly you’re too caught up in your burgers and brawns to care for a second that your brother tries very hard to be liked by all of you. Sad, really.” you threw the card at him too. As a matter of fact, you threw all of the bags right in front of them. “And then Asmo.. oh my God, first of all, the world doesn’t revolve around you. Shocker, I know. If you were half as empathetic toward your family as you are obsessed with yourself, maybe you wouldn’t feel the need to always go party and drink your life away. Oh, I’m sorry, did that hit just a little too hard? Can’t be harder than the hangovers you wake up with on a regular basis.” You glared at him before turning your attention to Satan. “Honestly, if you weren’t such a baby inside I may actually be scared of you. You always complain about how stupid he is, how he needs to just learn, but you? What do you do all day? You hole yourself up in your room and read about worlds that you wish you could enter. News flash: you’d die before you had the chance to say hello. People don’t like self-proclaimed assholes. Mammon IS smart. He’s very talented, too, but you’re too far up in Shakespeare’s ass that you fail to realize that everyone has knowledge in different fields of life. Give me a break.” 

Satan was about to retort but you already moved on to Levi. “and you! Let’s be honest, if it weren’t for you wallowing in self-pity and fake depression, you would have absolutely no personality traits. What are you again? The Avatar of Envy? How about instead of being envious of others’ accomplishments, you actually start working on yourself. It’s truly pathetic that a couple millenia old demon’s only purpose in life is ramen and self inflicted emotional pain. Seriously, what are you? A pitiful loner? I can’t even begin to empathize with you in any way, shape, or form.” Your blood was boiling right now and maybe if they hadn’t attacked Mammon like they did, you would’ve felt bad about Levi’s sad face right now, but there was still one person left to deal with.”

“And you… beautiful, responsible, way-too-good-for-you older brother, Lucifer.” He’s been glaring at you this whole time, arms crossed over his chest but you stood your ground. You’re not quite sure how you managed, but you did. “You call yourself the best, the most responsible. You constantly say this family would fall apart without you, but that’s not it, is it? I think you’re just lonely. You force these six to be by you, to respect you and borderline worship you. Not because you deserve it…” you chuckled, shaking your head, “no. You’re just so sad that Daddy and Michael left you, mocked you, that you turned your sadness into anger and took it out on these six, but especially Mammon. Why? Because you see yourself in him. You call him your favorite brother, but it’s not because he actually is… he just reminds you of everything you used to be: fun, reckless, and feeling. Now you’re just cold, mean, and bitter. Don’t bother calling yourself the mighty first because without him you would be neither. Maybe if you pulled that stick out of your arse and actually tried to get to know your brothers, maybe you wouldn’t be so lonely all the time. Family, right? That’s what you want. How about you start acting like one.” 

You shook your head after that, grabbing Mammon’s hand and kicking the bags in front of you before dragging Mammon back out the door. “Those are for you, by the way. Not that you deserve them, but they’re Mammon’s way of apologizing for all the things you accused him of the minute he set foot into the house. Have fun. We’re going to the castle and, if we’re lucky, to a real home.” 

[xpeachesncream]

first position | one shot

summary: your bestfriend’s ex ain’t shit, especially if he’s never made her orgasm. (based on this ask)

pairing: jungkook x reader x reader’s bestfriend

genre: (18+) college au | smut

words: 2.3k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, alcohol consumption, marijuana use, threesome, protected sex, multiple orgasms, breast play, oral (f. receiving), cum eating, ass smacking, pussy smacking, doggy style, hair pulling, slightly rough sex

note: drew some inspiration from lani’s “first position” song (linked above); please know that this is an entirely new level of smut for me so i apologize if shit sounds kind of off. super unfamiliar with threesome scenes, but i did my best to read up on actual accounts to see what people describe it to be like ahaha ALSO - wips are updated, feel free to see what my messy brain is working up nowadays lol enjoy ya’ll 🤓 this goes out to you, anon! i tried! lol

"Baby, open up!" Jungkook says, knocking on your door. You stumble a bit, laughing with your bestfriend. You both had been drinking wine all night and shared a blunt together before calling your boyfriend, whining for some food.

"Gookieeee." You giggle as you open the door and throw your arms around his neck. He pulls back to kiss you on the lips before helping himself inside and tossing off his shoes.

"Jungkook! The savior!" Your bestfriend says as he sets the food down onto the kitchen counter.

"Yeah, yeah. Thank me later. I'd rather grab the food then let you two drunkies head out like this."

"We aren't drunk, silly."

"Okay." He chuckles as he plops onto the couch, manspreading as he flips the channel on your tv to the Warriors vs. Pacers basketball game. "That's more I like it."

"Excuse me." You say as you shove fries into your mouth, your bestfriend devouring her burger next to you in the kitchen. "You're getting comfortable."

"Mhm, I sure am."

"Babe, it's a girl's night."

"Mm no, it's no longer a girl's night after my babygirl asks me to leave the comfort of my bed just to bring her food."

"Sorry to interrupt your jacking off session."

"Yeah, exactly." He says. "What'd you guys drink tonight?"

"Wine, wine and more wine. Smoked a blunt too." He laughs.

"Time of your lives, ey?"

"Lana just got dumped by that ungrateful dumbass, of course I gotta treat her."

"Hey, for what it's worth Lana - Namjoon didn't deserve you." He looks at your bestfriend, sympathy poking through his facial expression. Lana and Namjoon had been dating on and off for almost 2.5 years until that stupid ass decided he wanted to cheat and pursue other women like he had it like that. He for sure didn't though. He couldn't even make Lana cum properly. At all, even.

"Yeah, he didn't even know how to make you cum." Jungkook's eyes widened.

"The fuck?" He chuckled. "Really? After all these years?"

"Um, yeah. I guess that's just how he gets down." She says shyly. She was so innocent, being that she hadn't really been in a relationship besides with Namjoon. She hadn't explored much being that he was so narrow minded and she did a lot to keep him happy in the relationship.

"So.. would you like, fake it?" Jungkook asks, curiosity in his eyes.

"No, she wouldn't even get there babe!"

"Huh?" He's utterly confused and he's not even trying to hide it.

"He would like, you know, do it until he came then that was it."

"Huh." He nods. "He wouldn't even try? Interesting." Kook says, making you laugh. "I make Y/N cum at least 5 times a day."

"Shut the fuck up, boy. No you don't." You throw a fry at him.

"Boohoo, okay. It's like 3 at the very least. I could make her cum more but she's always crying for me to stop cause she can't take it." You raise your middle finger at your boyfriend.

"H-how does it feel?"

"To cum?" Kook asks.

"Euphoric. Like no other." You respond. Jungkook looks at you, then back at her, a little turned on by the conversation. Lana was pretty, and she definitely deserved better as both you and Kook stated. She was innocent at best, but you knew she was curious.

"I wish I knew." She says, sipping on more wine, making a bright idea pop into your head.

"Hey." You lightly squeeze her side. "I have an idea, but it's totally okay if you don't wanna go with it. I don't wanna make you do something you aren't comfortable with."

"Hm?" She hums as she watches you give Jungkook a small smirk that he returns. He honestly doesn't know what your crazy ass is thinking about, but whatever it is, he's down. He always is, and that's what he loved about you - you were always down, and you taught him that. Life's too fucking short.

"Let's put you on." You say nodding to the room. "Let me and Kook show you what it's like." Jungkook almost chokes on his water.

"I-I— like a threesome? I don't know, I'm not that experienced, I wouldn't—"

"Girl, we'll guide you through it."

"But Jungkook, he's your boyfriend, I can't—"

"And that's not gonna change. He's down, trust me. Look at his stupidly cute face." You both turn to him, his doe eyes wide with a huge smile plastered on his face.

"Seriously though, Lana. If you aren't comfortable—" Jungkook chimes in, reassuring her.

"I'm down." She spits out and nods. "I'm down. Let's do it. As long as things don't change between us."

"It won't, I promise, okay?" You grab her hand and lead her to your room.

"Oh shit." Jungkook says, throwing the remote aside to catch you two. He walks in and stops at the door frame, watching you two sit on your bed. Honestly, he was down but he was also still feeling a little concerned about how this would go down. Of course, he was the only sober one here, you two being crossfaded almost out of your minds and more relaxed than he was. He didn't really have an issue though. As long as nothing changed between you, Lana and himself, then things would be fine. Especially between Lana and you. You had been bestfriends since college started.

He didn't think it would though, so fuck it.

"Just, follow along. Okay? If you're ever uncomfortable or want us to stop, just say so."

"Say ex or something weird." Jungkook spits out.

"Um, okay." You sit up on your knees as she leans back into your pillows, and gently start feeling up her arms.

"Relax, Lana." You say at a whisper, your lips about to fall onto hers. She takes the kiss as it builds up slowly. You feel her ease up, her arms climbing up yours as her tongue begins to explore and fight yours for dominance.

"Jeeeeesus fucking christ." Jungkook says, swiping his hand down his face as he continues to watch you and Lana tongue each other down. He felt himself getting harder by the minute, watching as the sound of sloppy, wet kisses began to fill the room and your shirts began to fly off. You pull away for a second to look back at him and signal for him to come over, his baggy long sleeve immediately coming off as he climbs onto the bed. You direct Lana to release your bra as you with hers. You're practically straddling her at this point, Jungkook's hands now roaming up your body. His hand grips your neck as he tilts it back, laying kisses along your jaw before nibbling your earlobe. You let out a breathy moan, your hips grinding against Lana's, causing her to bite her lip and let out a small moan as your hands begin to feel up on her breasts.

"Lay back." You say softly, Lana silently following the order. You begin to take off her leggings, throwing them across your room as Kook is gently laying kisses down your back. "Behind me, babe." You give him a quick look with Jungkook fully understanding the request. He steps off the bed, giving you space to lower yourself onto Lana's clothed clit. You press your lips against it while Jungkook is wrestling to take off your sweats and toss them aside, his fingers already getting busy with rubbing your clothed pussy as he tries to work with it from behind you and off the bed. Lana lets out a moan as she watches you closely, your finger hooking her panties to the side and your tongue giving her pussy a good swipe up. She trembles a bit with the contact, but settles quickly as you begin to work your mouth against her folds, then back up to her clit.

"Ohhhh shit. He's never done it like that." Lana says as she lets out a few breaths. You moan against her clit as Jungkook is now pumping his digits in and out of you quickly, his tongue continuously teasing, tip penetrating your entrance whenever his digits aren't doing the work. Lana's hips begin to buck upwards and grind onto your tongue, fucking her pussy more and more into this unfamiliar pleasure. "Oh fuck, oh my god! I don't know if I can do this." She whines as she grips the sheets, her knuckles turning white. You nod, signaling for her to let go as your tongue is now teasing her clit, working in up and down motions.

"Fuck, Kook!" You manage to spit out. You're so fucking turned on by the sight in your bedroom right now, and you have no idea if it's because you're pretty crossfaded, but this shit was pretty and all you wanted to do was feel good and make your bestfriend feel good. After all, she deserves to feel it once in her lifetime and if Namjoon wasn't gonna do that shit, then you'd gladly be the one to let her experience it.

"Cum for me, baby." He says as he quickly pulls back to give your pussy a good smack before he latches on again. "Let me feel it." The words alone, along with your moaning into Lana's clit, sends her over, her body trembling graciously in your grip.

"Fuck! What the fuck!" She screams, whining moans leaving her mouth quickly afterwards. You soon let yourself go, detaching yourself from her clit, your body trembling on all fours with Jungkook rubbing your clit like there's no tomorrow. The pain quickly turns into more pleasure, you crashing your body ontop of Lana's as you both try to regulate your breathing and come back down from your highs. Jungkook is hard as a fucking rock seeing the both of you completely fucked out already, especially you having done work on Lana at the same time as he pleased you.

"What do I do next?" You look at her as you finally gain the energy to raise your body a bit, shaking your head.

"Stay. Kook, get in her first." Jungkook is already unwrapping the first condom and sliding it down his dick.

"You both okay?" He manages to ask, Lana simply giving him a nod as he warns her with a tap of his reddened tip against her folds. "I'll take it slow. You just let me know what you want." You smirk down at her.

"Use him, Lana."

"W-what?" Her back slightly arches as her eyes roll to the back of her head feeling Jungkook fill her up. Although she had agreed to it, she didn't think her first fuck out of a relationship was gonna be with you and your boyfriend. Let alone did she ever think Jungkook would be penetrating her the way he was right now.

But fuck it. There's a first for everything.

"Use him." You repeat as you situate yourself on top of her, your lips landing back on hers with Jungkook's hand in your hair. "Tell him what you want to make you cum again."

"F-faster." She spits out in between kisses. Jungkook obeys, his thrusts now becoming quicker.

"Shit, dude." He says, his head tilting back in pleasure. "This is so fucking hot." You lower yourself a bit, your mouth latching onto her nipples one by one. You tease her a bit, your tongue flicking in and around her hardened bud, smirking into it when you hear her let out a loud moan.

"Fuck, yes. Please. Just like that." She begs. "Rougher please." You pull back on her nipple with a pop, lightly blowing air onto it as Jungkook begins to sloppily ram into her pussy. Caressing her skin, you can feel the goosebumps radiating throughout her body before you lower yourself back down onto her other nipple and repeat the process.

"Cum, Lana." Jungkook groans. "Cum all over this dick. It's your playing field right now." You smirk as your tongue continues to tease her nipple, her moans getting louder the more he hammers into her.

"Cum, babe." You say as you hop off and reach down to rub her clit. With just a few rubs, she's hurdling over the edge, her body trembling once more as she yells.

"Holy fuck! Ugghhhhhffffgod." Her breathing hitching as the aftershocks ripple through her.

"On your knees, babygirl." Jungkook orders you to get on your fours while switching out the condom to a new one, Lana slowly slipping out from under you to get on her fours and face you. Jungkook doesn't waste any time, roughly inserting himself into you and filling you up until he bottoms out. He feels a little more comfortable, knowing he can roughhouse the fuck out of you more than he could with Lana, so he begins to hammer into you and tug onto your hair at the same time.

"Jungkook, fuck." You moan, his large hand smacking your ass as he quickens his pace. Lana's now planting kisses along your neck while Jungkook holds you steady with your hair, her hands roaming around your breasts and giving them a good, gentle squeeze.

"Shit, I-I'm gonna cum soon." He says, biting his bottom lip. "Cum with me baby." He moans. Lana's hand travels down to your clit, copying what she's learned from you by rubbing it in circular motions.

"Ohhhhhhgod, yes!" You moan, but aren't able to release any other noise afterwards. You continue to whine as the loud, lewd noises of skin against skin continue filling the room. Sooner or later, you feel yourself unraveling, Jungkook's nails digging deep into your hips while Lana continues to rub your clit gently to help you ride out your high. "Oh my fucking god." You say as you try to regulate your breathing. Lana immediately throws her panties and her clothes back on, feeling shy with Jungkook being in the room.

"How'd that feel?" He says, throwing on his clothes while handing you yours. You look at her and smirk, licking your bottom lip.

"Good, I hope." Lana chuckles.

"Fucking amazing."

"Maybe we should do this more often."

"Baby, wait." Jungkook laughs. "You're fucking wild."

"She is, isn't she?" Lana rolls her eyes playfully.

"Hey, at least we gave you the ride of your life." You all make your way out of the room to get a little air and step away from the post sex-smelling room. "Next time I see Namjoon, I'll let him know what you look like when you cum." 

[whumpzone]

Linden & Colton - 18

(masterpost)

and so the slow process begins

CW: pet whump, dehumanisation, discussions of intelligence

-

Pet- Colton, Colton didn’t realise he’d been asleep until he woke up. He had dreamt of nothing. How he had slept after the stress of yesterday was beyond him.

He suddenly saw Master in his room, a place he’d never been before, stood in the corner waiting for him to wake up and face his punishment. He cried out, pulling himself up and raising his hands protectively.

But-

He blinked. It was a shadow. The gap between the old wardrobe and the wall. Tall, thin, quiet. Just like Master. But Col was alone and he let out a long breath.

Master had probably heard him yell, though. He’d be here soon. So Col wasted no time and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He turned back to tuck his little teddy bear Chu under the covers, where Colton felt it was safe, and headed out into the corridor. Here, he was fair game. He didn’t know why Master never entered his room, but he had stuck to it vigilantly so far. It only made Col feel more aware of his own vulnerability as soon as he stepped through the door.

Master was downstairs, doing a puzzle in the local newspaper, and he looked up as Colton approached. His face brightened into a smile, the biggest he’d ever seen. Master never smiled like that. Col had to fight against the urge to freeze or drop to his knees.

“Good morning, Col,” he said, showing all of his teeth.

Oh, god. Master wanted him to reply. He wanted words, now. He finally knew that Col had been hiding them all this time, and he wanted to delve in, find out how he could twist them and use them to stroke his own ego and entrench his slave’s subordination.

Or perhaps he just wanted to hear his Pet wish him a good morning for the first time. Stop fucking overthinking.

“Good morning,” he ducked his head in reverence, “Master.”

“Wow. I still can’t believe you can speak. I’m so- I’m so proud of you, Col.”

What? Why? “…Please forgive me for not speaking sooner.”

“It’s my fault,” he sighed, which made Col tense up even more. “I just- wow. Where to start? Well, come, sit, have breakfast with me. Cereal?”

He gestured at the box already on the table. Colton obediently sat and took it in his hand with almost no trouble. Master noticed, and nodded happily. He was certainly pleased. It still made Col very uneasy, but he did seem to be doing something right.

He had never heard Master speak in such an excited tone, before. But he was silent while Pet- Col- ugh- made himself his breakfast. He could feel Master’s eyes on him. He was allowed to take the first bite, and then the interrogation began. It was obvious Master had a lot of questions.

“So- okay, first, what made you speak, yesterday? I never asked.”

Colton chewed and swallowed. It helped his throat feel a little smoother, although it was still very rough from disuse. His voice was small and unsure. “You… I saw- I saw Jaffa. At the bottom of the stairs. But I didn’t mean to- I’m n-not accusing you of anything, I know you wouldn’t hurt her I just, I wasn’t sure if you had… seen her, Master.”

He flicked his eyes up to Master, to gage his response. He had just accused Master of being a bad pet owner. Of being neglectful of Jaffa. Master seemed to parse this information, and then smiled.

“She does blend in, doesn’t she? Too bloody well sometimes. I’m so glad you stopped me. And that was so, so kind of you Col. Well done.”

He just nodded, and turned his face away. He supposed…. Master saw it as him looking out for Jaffa, rather than undermining his intelligence. That was a lucky escape for him. He knew that with his old master, any sign of insubordination would have been swiftly beaten out of him.

“Colton,” Col looked up. Master looked scary. Why was he smiling that like? What was he thinking? Col didn’t feel any closer to understanding him. “I know this is new, and I know you’ve not spoken in months. I won’t make you do loads of it, okay? We can take it slowly.”

“Thank you, Master,” he hazarded, although he didn’t see why Master hadn’t just forced him to speak from day one, if he wanted it this badly.

“God, but it makes me realise, I know so little about you. And now- I can ask. And if you want, you can reply. I’m really happy.”

“There’s nothing to know, Master. I’m just a Pet,” he mumbled. The spoon faltered in his hand. Cutlery was still a challenge.

“I know you’ve got a busy brain in there,” Master pointed a slender finger at his slave’s head, to emphasise his point. “I know you’re bursting with thoughts and ideas.”

This made Col look up, properly. An accusation like that came with dire consequences. “No, n-n-no, I’m not, I promise, I exist to serve o-only, I’m just a dumb Pet. Yours to use as you please.” Spoken exactly as his old master had taught him. Well- he would have been belted for stammering. He was out of practice.

Should he kneel? Well, yes, he should, but was it right, when he knew Master liked him on the furniture? But, god, he had to prove his point, he couldn’t let Master think he was starting to rebel, or forget his place.

Bitterly, he thought about how he knew this would happen. This was why Pets didn’t speak.

“Whoa, okay, it’s okay. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just meant- you’re not stupid, are you? I can tell. And that’s a good thing.”

Col just stared at his hands. He wanted to pause time, step out of his body, and float away. Somewhere without any questions, or expectations, or constant riddles. He was stupid. He knew that much.

Master’s voice brought him back to reality. Glancing at him, Col saw his smile had grown even bigger. His skin prickled.

“I think you’re Welsh.”

“M-Master?”

“You definitely are. You’ve got an accent. You’re Welsh, Col. Wow, now I’m kind of sad. Like, how on earth did you end up here?”

What was he implying? “I’ve… always been a Pet,” Col tried, but it was clear he didn’t believe himself, and from the way Master’s eyebrow slowly raised, he didn’t believe him either.

Colton had always been dimly aware that there was an other him, who had taken up the before-time. He was the one whom his old master had had to train so effectively, he was the one who had all the bad thoughts and urges. Col knew he didn’t start as a Pet. Or else his old master wouldn’t have had to torture him like that for so long.

He was a ghost in Colton’s brain, and Col didn’t know if he was locked away or completely dead. Were parts of him still hiding somewhere, curled up in a place that old master couldn’t ever reach? Or had he been completely laid out and hacked to pieces, until only Col remained. Thinking about it made him want to burst into tears. Some nights, when his mind was loosened by sleep, he felt like he missed him so much.

. . .

Linden didn’t push it. He knew most Pets didn’t retain any memories from before their conditioning. He shouldn’t have asked, really. Just… the realisation that Col had a background, he had lived before becoming the trembling man before him, made Linden ache.

He still wanted to curl up whenever he thought about how long he left it before he realised Col could speak. He hadn’t wanted to push him, there were a myriad of ways he could have been made permanently mute, and he had pretty much fallen into a routine at this point. But the knowledge that all this time, Col was patiently waiting for the chance to talk, probably wondering why Linden wouldn’t let him- oh, christ. He was so embarrassed and ashamed.

He suddenly had so many questions all on the tip of his tongue, that he couldn’t think where to start. He also really didn’t want to bombard the poor boy. But still… just a few, surely, wouldn’t hurt?

“So obviously I’ve named you Colton, but, if you actually do have a name, please tell me. We can use that one instead.”

Colton shook his head. “My name before was- was Pet.”

“Pet?”

“Yes, Master. Or bitch, or, um, mutt. Or toy.”

He hid it well, but Linden could see the shame in Col’s face. At least that meant he realised how fucked up it was.

“Those aren’t fu- those aren’t names,” he growled. “That’s just plain cruel. You don’t deserve that. Do you like being Colton? It’s not too late to choose another name for yourself, love.”

Col waited until he had swallowed down another spoonful of cereal before he spoke. That seemed good, to Linden. He didn’t feel pressured to reply immediately.

“Colton is a nice name, Master. It’s not my place to have likes or dislikes but I, uh, I am happy with it.”

Another quick glance at his face. Linden was getting used to them by now. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Jaffa rolling around.

“Likes, dislikes, they’re fine. Don’t worry about that. But if you like the name, then it’s yours until you say otherwise. Oh, and- don’t worry about calling me Master. Honestly.”

Col stopped chewing, his shoulders hunching up suddenly. “I’m sorry, M-, uh, sir, sorry. I didn’t realise I shouldn’t, I’m sorry, I know- know that’s not an excuse. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,” he soothed. Sir was fine, he decided. From the way Colton had panicked, he didn’t want to push it any further. “You didn’t know.”

“Thank you, I’m- I’m sorry, sir.”

“You’re fine, you’re good. You’re doing great with talking, Col. I’ll put the kettle on.”

He had long learnt to pick his battles. Hearing Colton talk about being a toy to be used made him fucking sick, but he could tell that sentiment was deeply, deeply ingrained. He knew a recital when he heard one. Those weren’t his words. They were a tiny window into whoever had fucked him up like this.

. . .

Master was sir now, when Colton spoke. Col could learn that. But it didn’t change anything, right? Master still wanted him, didn’t he?

-

as usual, the first half of the taglist:

@newbornwhumperfly @whumpadump1939 @firewheeesky @whump-me-all-night-long @captainseconds @grizzlie70 @unicornscotty @lave-whump @princessofonward @cupcakes-and-pain @bumbumbea @whumpfigure @yet-another-heathen @secretwhumplair @whumps-up @as-a-matter-of-whump @getyourwhumphere @itzagoodthing @whumpymirages @soapparentlyilikewhumpnow @zipadeedooda-drabbles @penny-for-your-whump @briars7 @legallylibra @angel-stars @loyds-of-registry @tears-and-lilies @badluck990 @rosesareviolentlyread

@vickytokio @neuro-whump @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpsy-daisies @control-whump @theydy-cringeworthy @starnight-whump @cursedandtired @jo-doe-seeking-inspo @justabitofwhump @glamrockgregory @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @genesissane @justbreakonme @addyez @httyd-chocolate

[abuskinswarrior]

Love Letter

So I read Read Between the Lines and it inspired me to write something similar.

Summary: The Reader writes her feelings down in a letter to hopefully get rid of her feelings towards Spencer.

Spencer x Reader

Fluff and Angst (a little, but not really)

Word Count: 2447

You know how they say write your feelings down then burn it. It’s supposed to symbolize you ‘“letting go of the feeling”. It’s usually for people that harbour anger, but I guess I could try it for love. So here goes I guess.

I don’t know why I’m so nervous to even write my feelings. I know you will never see this, but writing it makes it seem real I guess. Before I could just pretend I don’t feel this way, but it’s eating at me slowly chipping away pieces of me.

When I first met you, I thought you were cute and dorky. I liked the way you spouted out facts. You taught me so much about everything and I was amazed that it was only a fraction of what you knew. It was the start of one of the best friendships I have ever had. I think the moment I started thinking of you in a more romantic way was funnily enough Friday the 13 in October. Almost a year after I joined. It was a bad day for me. The words on the paper weren’t making any sense and when you talked to me I could only understand half of what you were saying. You noticed and you spoke slower for me. I don’t even think you remembered doing it. I was so extremely thankful and I brought you coffee for like a week after. It’s been so long since that and I thought I would get over it. We work together, we couldn’t date. But my love for you just kept growing.

I finally admitted that my schoolgirl crush on you was more than that when you invited me over to watch the newest season of Doctor Who. I told you I had never actually watched  an episode, you just shrugged and said we could do something else. I thought you were going to ask Penelope instead, but you wanted to spend time with me! (Outside of work!) I dressed up for it., stupid I know. I decided to wear a sundress because it had been so nice and you told me that your AC wasn’t working properly. I remember falling asleep on your couch and when I woke up you were still next to me watching Doctor Who. My head in your lap as you played with my hair. Again, I don’t even think you noticed. 

Emily picked up on my mood around you and confronted me, which is mainly why I am writing this letter. She’s gonna help me burn this. It’s hard though. I  know you will never feel the same way about me and I feel ridiculous. Sometimes it physically hurts to be near you. You make me nervous, you take my breath away and, god, you don’t even try.

I have fallen in love with all the things you do. You stick your tongue out when you’re thinking. When you spin around in the chairs when you can’t concentrate. The way you smile when JJ brings Henry  to the office. You bring me so much joy and it hurts that you don’t look at me the same way. I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t in my life. 

Do you remember when the group went out for drinks after that really hard case a few years ago? I went to the bar to get another pitcher for the table and some random guy asked if I wanted to go home with him. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and that’s when you came. I had never seen you like that before. When you asked me if I was okay and I couldn’t move. I was replaying that moment in my head. It was sooo sexy.

This isn’t the first time I was going to tell you. The first time I finally had the guts, I went to your place and you told me you were just about to come over to mine. I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt. You said you wanted to tell me something and I let you go first. Sometimes I wish I went first, but I’m glad I didn’t. That was when you told me about Maeve. My heart broke. I could feel my eyes tearing up, but the way you talked about her, god, I could never compare. And then she died. When JJ told me, for a fraction I was happy. It lasted for less than a second and I felt like such a horrible person. How could I even think about being happy? When you came back to work, I had to take a week off. I couldn’t even look at you because of the thought I had for a fraction of a second. That’s when I decided I was never going to tell you, but now I can’t even be near you and I have to leave.

I haven’t even said the three words this whole letter is for. It’s so hard. I think I’ve been denying it for so long that my hand doesn’t even want to write it. But I have to.

I                          love                             you

There I said it. I love you. Oh my god I love you so much. I love you so much I have to leave because if I stay, I don’t know what will happen. I want you to look at me the way you looked when you talked about her.

I think I’ll miss your eyes. The way they light up when you’re excited. I’ll miss your smile. I’ll miss the way your hand feels in mine. I’ll miss the way you engulf me when we hug. I can’t stay here anymore because I, fuck, I gave you pieces of my heart, slowly and now it’s in your hands and I can’t be there to watch you break it. 

I have to stop giving you pieces of me. At one point, you started taking them and I let you, but it ends now. I hope you find someone that makes you happy.

I sighed. “I think I’m done.” I looked up at Emily. We were desk partners. The other people in the office were out on their lunch break leaving just us. She looked up from her papers and smiled softly.

“How do you feel?” She looked down at the paper then back at me. I knew she wanted to read it and I just didn’t care at this point I guess. I handed it to her.

“Worse if that’s possible.” She read through it, mouthing the words.

“Y/n, you should tell him. I thought that you maybe had, like, a crush on the guy, not this!” Emily read it again, my natural cursive being a little hard to read. “Before Maeve? Really?” 

I smiled sheepishly and put my head down. “I know. That’s why I can’t say anything. He’ll hate me. Besides, it’s not like I’ll be around much anyway.”

“Woah, hey, you can’t leave.”

“Who’s leaving?” My head shot up as Derek walked into the office, back from lunch.

“Nobody, it’s nothing.” I said. Derek looked between me and Emily. Emily folded the paper, covering the front, leaving the back of the paper still accessible as she tried shuffling it between case files.

“Woah, what’s this?” He grabbed the paper out of her hands. Reading it out loud.

“Morgan, stop.” I got up trying to grab the paper.

“When I first met you, I thought you were cute and dorky. I liked the way you spouted out facts. You taught me so much about everything and I was amazed that it was only a fraction of what you knew.” He moved around me laughing. “Did you write this? Who’s this for?”

“It’s none of your business.” Just when I thought I had grabbed it, It slipped out of his hand.

“What’s this?” I looked over at who had grabbed it, the paper had refolded and it was in the hands of the one person who really should not have it.

“It’s nothing.” I reached for it again, but Spencer read the back. Being short sucked sometimes. I jumped reaching for it again. 

“Did you write a love letter?” He read it fairly quickly, no surprise. “It’s been speculated that writing love letters helps the nervous system pattern in the brain, appearing to exert protective effects throughout the body, including on the brain itself.” Spencer had stopped looking at it.

“That’s great, can I have it back?” I looked at him, my palm open. He looked between me and whoever was beside me. 

“Open it, pretty boy.” Derek shouted. Whatever he was going to say was muffled by Emily who had covered his mouth.

“Morgan, stop.” I heard her say. Spencer however, started opening the letter and I grabbed onto his arm, jumping up and snatching it, stuffing in my shirt in between breasts.

“Now, you gonna grab it? Cause I will file for harassment.” I looked at him. He smiled at me, a devious look in his eyes.

“Oh my god, I love you so much. I love you so much I have to leave because if I stay,” He used a higher pitched voice, mimicking me. My breath caught in my chest. I wanted to leave, I wanted to smack him, but I just stood there as he repeated what I wrote, mocking me. “I don’t know what will happen. I want you to look at me the way you looked when you talked about her.” He brought his hands up to his face. “I think I’ll miss your eyes.” He looked at me still smiling, laughing, with Morgan egging him on. I could hear both their laughs. 

“What’s going on?” I heard JJ’s voice from behind me. She put her hand on my shoulder, looking at my face. She could tell something was happening, but didn’t know what.

“JJ listen to this!” Spencer kept going. 

“Don’t,” I whispered as he continued to speak. “Please.” JJ looked between my face and Spencer, the wheels in her brain turning.

“I’ll miss the way your hand feels in mine.” 

“Spence, where did you read that?” She asked, stopping him.

“Y/n’s love note.” JJ looked at me with such sympathy. She figured it out. The tears streaming down my face were hot as I tried to wipe them away.

“Spencer!” I yelled. He finally stopped smiling, watching the tears stream down my face. “I know you have trouble picking up cues, I just never realized you could be such an asshole.” 

He looked at me with an emotion I couldn’t describe. I turned around, shoulder checking Derek as he tried to stop me. I could hear my name being called, but I didn’t stop. I ran down the stairs. I couldn’t wait for the elevator.

I pushed the doors open as I was gasping for a breath of fresh air. Tears clouded my eyes as I sat down on the curb. I let my head rest on my knees, replaying the scene in my head. He couldn’t hear me when I told him to stop. He wasn’t even paying attention to me. He was just smiling. I wiped my tears away, pulling out the letter, unfolding it, reading my god awful chicken scratch cursive. How Spencer was able to read it was beyond me. I watched as the paper dampened as my tears hit it. 

“God, I’m so stupid.” I sighed.

“I wouldn’t say that.” I whipped my head around looking up at Spencer’s tall stature. I folded the paper back up, tucking it back in my shirt, wiping away more tears.

“Here to mock me some more?” I looked away resting my chin on my knees. He sat down next to me and I rolled my head so I didn’t have to look at him.

“No,” He sighed. “I’m here to say I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s a stupid note anyway.” I could feel his stare on me. I played with some of the loose gravel near my feet.

“If it’s stupid, then why try to hide it?” I squinted my eyes, turning my head to look at him. He had a soft smile on his face as if this was his plan all along.

“Go to hell.” I got up, brushing myself off walking away.

“Y/n, no, wait.” Spencer trailed behind me.

“No, Spencer,” I sighed, cursing myself for crying again. “It was a stupid note, for a stupid person, who will never feel the same. So it doesn’t matter.”

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous to even write my feelings.” I stopped turning around. He held the note in his hands. It had fallen out when I got up and I didn’t realize. “I know you will never see this, but writing it makes it seem real I guess. Before I could just pretend I don’t feel this way, but it’s eating at me slowly chipping away pieces of me.” He stepped closer to me, still reciting it, but he changed it. “When I first met you, I thought you were drop dead gorgeous. I liked the way you listened to me and were actually interested in what I had to say. Your limitless hunger for knowledge makes my heart warm. I noticed you were having a bad day because you pull on your hair slightly like you’re trying to pull your thoughts together and I wanted to make you feel comfortable. That was the day I realized I would do whatever you wanted.” He had taken more steps towards me. He placed his hands on my cheeks, so gently like he thought I was going to disappear. I closed my eyes, savoring the moment before reality could catch up.

“Y/n, look at me.” His voice was gentle as if he were talking to a child. I looked up at him, placing my hands over his on my face. “I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being. My heart beats for you and only you.” He wiped away a few tears from my face and I leaned in, titling my head up more. He leaned down pressing his lips against my own. My eyes fluttered closed pressing all my emotions into the kiss. He kissed me back with the same fever I did. My head was spinning. I moved my hands to his hair, gripping at the root afraid I was going to wake up. He pulled away to take a breath and he opened his eyes, smiling.

“So you love me, huh?” 

“Shut up.” I smiled, pulling him back in for another kiss.

~Fin

[the-starless-sky]

BAE x cozmez / “DESIRE” voice drama Part 1

I am crying. That’s all.

Names K: Yatonokami Kanata N: Yatonokami Nayuta S: Sugasano Allen F: Anne Faulkner Y: Yeon Hajun I: Suiseki Iori

*Please make sure you read as you listen, or at least give it a listen first because there are expressions... unexpressionable in text!

K: Uwaah, I bought it...! If I have this song-composing software, I can do more stuff...! Hehehehe... ah... oh damn, what do I do about this month's meals? Oh well, it'll be fine, yeah! Hehe. Ah...

I: You're always walking around the city while being hungry, huh? It's as if you're an abandoned cat!

K: ...What are you doing in a place like this?

I: I only passed here by chance. How's your side going? Were you able to grasp that 'big chance' you talked about?

K: Suiseki-san, you have time to worry about others?

I: Ooh, now you can say stuff like that, huh! Ah... aah... well I guess that's fine. I'm not gonna say anything unnecessary.

K: What is it?

I: No, I just thought, 'have you thought about what to do if, say, you failed to grasp that chance?'.

K: We wont lose. No matter who the opponent is.

I: In other words, you haven't thought of anything, have you?

K: What are you trying to say?

I: I'm not worried about you! It's your little brother I'm worried about. If you're over-optimistic, you wont be able to protect the things you'd otherwise be able to protect, y'know?

K: I told you we wont lose, didn't I! I will protect Nayuta!

I: Hahaha! Nothing will happen even if you get angry at me!

K: There's no way we're gonna lose against those rich snobs![1]

I: There, there, just listen to me. What I'm talking about is only a 'what if'. If that 'what if' became reality... what will you do then?

K: So what do you say I should do?

I: Well, if you want to make your victory certain, there are some ways. For example, the way you do the jobs I gave you up until now, you get me?

K: What are you trying to suggest?

I: Well, just do your best and think with all your might on the ways to win! Go all out, bye~!

K: I'll win. Whatever it takes...

***

F: Hey, Allen, I'm going home.

S: Yeah.

F: What's this!? You haven't even tidied your belongings yet!

S: Yeah.

F: We don't have time to be slow like this!

S: Yeah.

F: Don't just say 'yeah'! You're not listening to me at all, aren't you!?

S: Yeah.

F: Hey!

Y: It's useless. I'm sure he just thought up of a new idea.

F: Yeah, but we have to go home fast...

Y: There should still be some time before the trap reaction starts. He should be back before it does... if Allen's not a huge idiot, though.

F: What if he's a huge idiot?

Y: The one who will get embarrassment is him, not me, so.

F: You're so cold.

Y: Well then, would the kind Anne stay here?

F: No way. I don't want to see trap reactions!

Y: Then, let's both go home first.

F: Guess you're right.

F: Allen, don't push yourself too much, 'kay?

S: Yeah.

F: Sigh, I don't care anymore!

***

S: Oh darn, it's already this late... Those guys could've called me out... Ah... ah... the trap reaction's...!

K: Oi, red hair.

S: You're... cozmez's...! If you have any business with me, then could you just come back later?

K: 'Business'? I don't have any business with you. I just can't settle down if I don't say something to you before our stage later.

S: ...The battle should just be on top of the stage, right?

K: 'Battle'? You? With us? Haha! Don't say stupid jokes. Ya hear me, red hair? What you guys are doing aren't hip hop. It's just a make-believe game. Back off before you get hurt.

S: ...We're... serious!

K: You guys' 'serious' don't even count as 'serious'! Listen up. We're doin' hip hop with our lives on the line. We're on a different level from rich shitty brats' make-believe phantom lives.

S: Don't... just say things as you like...! We also do hip hop while shouldering lots of things.

K: The thing rich snots shoulder... you mean a shiny backpack?

S: Stop messing around! We're...!

K: Not having a place to live and anything to eat for days that you can't even move anymore... you've never experienced something like that, haven't ya?

S: Huh?

K: What will guys like you even sing in hip hop? Are you planning to say, 'Mama didn't give me my allowance~! What do I do~?'? That kinda child's play don't cut it here!

S: Oi, that's the last straw...! Agh...!

Allen’s Mother (SM): Hip hop, you say... such a thing[2]... where did you even learn it from? Allen’s Father (SF): Stop listening to such worthless music. Your ears will get dirty! S: Stop, don't burn it!! Please, anything but that...!! SM: Throw away that worthless thing! SF: Until when are you going to keep playing around? Know some shame! SM: Are you doing your violin lessons properly!? Mob (M): It's fun to be with everyone else, right? SF: Are you going to oppose your parents? SM: I told you to stop, didn't I!? SF: That thing is not music.

S: No... no, stop!!

K: Oof!

S: I... I... even I... have my own sound...! Aah..!!

K: Haha... hahaha! Getting into a trap reaction in this kinda place...

S: It's burning... my... aah!

K: We had always lived getting everything stolen from us. It's natural that they get stolen, too.

S: Ah... ah...

K: A fake bastard has no right to own a phantometal. With this, you'll understand just a bit... what people like you have done to us up 'til now... Hmph, bye! Well, not like you can hear me, though.

S: Agh...

***

S: I'm home.

F: You're late! What were you doing?

S: Nothing. Sorry, let me sleep.

Y: What are you talking about? You'll be in trouble if you don't attend Saimon-sensei's first period, right? If you sleep now, it's certain you won't be able to wake up on time.

S: You're right...

F: Didn't you say it yourself? Your attendance rate's in danger and stuff. Hm? Allen! Where did you put your metal!?

S: Huh...? What did you mean by where...?

Y: It's not on your neck.

S: Huh!? It's true...

F: Haaah!? What's with that, what the heck's going on!? Did you lose it!? Did you drop it!? Or, don't tell me... it was taken away from you!?

S: No, uh... I wonder what happened...

Y: To begin with, before you get back, where and what were you doing?

S: After that, I was only going to take notes of a song I thought of. And then, I just keep on getting ideas for the continuation...

F: Aah, geez!! I really should've brought you back even if I had to drag you!!

Y: After a phantom live, in a few hours, trap reaction will come. To forgot such common sense, did you drop your brain too?

F: That's why I told you we should go home fast!

S: I can't help it, I thought of a good track, after all! And, after I finished taking notes...

F: Hey, are you out of your mind!? Even if you have a good track, how are we going to win the battle without phantoms!? I seriously don't understand you!!

S: No way! If we have a good song, even without phantoms we'll...!

F: Haa? Are you serious!? Then why do you think I worked to think up of our clothes and all of those things!? What do you think 'production' is--

Y: So, Allen? What happened after that?

S: I thought, 'I should go home now' and when I got outside, there was cozmez's Kanata... when we were in the middle of talking, my trap reaction started... and when I realized, it's morning already.

F: It's definitely stolen by Kanata, isn't it!? Allen's metal!!

S: I don't think so! There's now way a rapper that will perform in Paradox Live will do something like that...!

F: Until when are you going to say naive things like that!? Hey, Hajun! Say something to this idiot!

Y: No comment. Whether it was stolen from him or he lost it, he reapt what he sow. Allen has to do something about it himself.

S: Yeah, I'll do that. Unexpectedly, I might've just dropped it somewhere...

F: I don't wanna hear 'might'...! Go and find it, now!!

Y: If it's not found, then for the next stage Allen will go without phantoms, huh.

F: If we lost because of that, I'm gonna curse you until I die.

Y: It's alright, Anne. Even without Allen, as long as we have me, we'll win.

F: That's not the problem here...!! Geez!! Can't even think of going to school now!!

S: I... I'll go back to the club one more time and look for it.

F: Of course you will! I'll also try to talk to people who look like they have connection with cozmez!

Y: I see. Yawn~ Well then, work hard, you two.

F: Eh? Hajun, where are you going?

Y: I'm going to sleep. Unlike someone here, there'll be no problem even if I missed one lecture. Well then, bye-bye~

F: Aah, geez!!

***

N: Welcome home, Kanata. You're late.

K: Yeah. I had some minor business. To make up for it, have this.

N: Ooh! Amazing! It's Rain'en-tei's ramen, isn't it! Why?

K: I just thought we should eat something good before Paradox Live.

N: That's super nice. I wanna eat, fast!

K: Wait, wait, I'll go and put my stuff down first.

N: Be fast, okay? Ooh, there's even Gyoza! Nice...!

K: Ah.

N: Hm? Is that a phantometal?

K: Yeah.

N: Whose is that?

K: The red hair in BAE's.

N: Huh? Why does Kanata have his phantometal?

K: When we were talking about their make-believe live, he suddenly got trap reaction in front of me. So I took it from him.

N: ...

K: Well, I taught that rich guy the harshness of society.

N: Hey, did you actually took it from him?

K: Yeah. They're just people who play around with hip hop, anyway. If they didn't have their metals, they'd get scared they can't even go on stage. If that happens, it'd be our win for sure.

N: Hmm... lame.

K: Haa? What did you say just now, Nayuta?

N: I said you're lame! Why did you do something like that, Kanata? Didn't you say we're gonna punch them with our amazing song!?

K: W-we can do that any other time, right! Our opponent isn't only BAE!

N: I'm saying that’s lame!! What the hell's real if we can't even destroy one shitty team of rich snots!? Can you call that a 'win'!?

K: Wh-what's with that, Nayuta!? Don't you want to win!?

N: Of course I do!! But this way of doing things... it's not like Kanata. Don't tell me, you were told something by someone...?

K: You're wrong! I just...

N: Is it... my fault?

K: Huh?

N: You weren't thinking of stuff like my body will get worse if we lose, were you!?

K: Wh... no, you're wrong! I just don't want Nayuta to feel anxious...!

N: I'm not anxious!! It's worse to keep getting told we won because we use lame methods!!

K: Listen to me! Paradox Live is on a different scale than any other lives we've been doing! It's a chance for us to raise up together...!

N: Don't get all jittery now, Kanata!! Why...!? Why don't you laugh and say 'if we're together, there's no way we'd lose to anyone' as you usually do!?

K: N-Nayuta...

Notes

[1] I’m trying to find  a degrading English word for rich people... and that’s the best I could find. It could also mean like, people who are born with a silver spoon on their mouths.

[2] She said a word I couldn’t catch, but it’s probably another jeer like ‘dirty’ or ‘uneducated’ or something like that.

THAT ASIDE.

ALLEN!! ALLEN MY BABY BOY!!? I WANT TO HUG YOU PLEASE LET ME EMBRACE YOU, GIVE YOU A WARM FLUFFY BLANKET AND SOME HOT CHOCOLATE I just want you to be happy... you are dumb but you deserve happiness... especially because your parents treat you like crap just because you like one (1) genre of music...

Also now my opinion of Iori cannot be contained into just ‘please shut up you look nice but your fake accent hurts my ears’, it’s getting worse. Iori, please... stop it...

[notyetneedcoffee]

Crossroads

Answer to Lexi’s 1k @the-omni-princess Challenge! Congrats!

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader; some Steve x Peggy; very Steve-centric

Warnings: ANGST and loads of it! 

Author’s note: This is my AU of Steve’s final Pym jump from End Game

____________________

The silence reminded him of the nights during the War. After the raging battle, even the animals and bugs refused to reveal their whereabouts. Although tonight he wondered if even the forest mourned Tony Stark. Steve Rogers sat alone in the middle of a glade not too far from the cabin Tony had called home. He tried to sleep, attempted to rid himself of the bone-weary exhaustion, but his mind would not shut down.

He knew everyone assumed his withdrawal, his moodiness and pain, stemmed from the battle and loss. A part of him felt immense guilt that they should be right, but they weren’t. After all these years of war on various scales, he felt the pain of loss differently. It just was a fact of life.

What spun his mind into a maelstrom of conflicted thoughts, tore his gut up with guilt, was something completely personal. Every option his highly strategical brain considered ended in pain and suffering for people he loved. Every option terrified him.  

He’d seen Peggy.  

It’d only been a moment, but seeing her young and vibrant sent his world spiraling. She wasn’t ravaged by age and Alzheimer's. As strong and lovely as the picture he carried with him, but in the flesh. Every missed opportunity and regret hit him all at once. It pulled at his heart, making him want to hold her like the awful pain of the years never happened.  

The threat of Thanos did allow him to think about it. So, it just took up residence in mind.  

Then there was the battle.  

Those once lost were back. Sam in his ear. Bucky fought his way to his side.  

He’d seen you.  

Among the chaos, with your beautiful face set in grime determination, he caught a glimpse of you battling your way through the aliens. Fierce and powerful, you looked exactly the way you had the day he’d lost you in Wakanda. All the nights of passion, the solace and trust found in one another, lit his chest. Seeing you made him fight harder, renewed his strength.  

The war was won. Friends were lost. Bodies were battered. Steve found himself holding you, but unable to do much more. Those who were lost tried to fathom being gone for so many years, to comprehend the changes to the world. You clung to him and wept. He’d missed you. He felt such relief having you in his arms. 

Guilt ate him alive.  

“You look like you’re planning all kinds of stupid.” Bucky’s voice came out of nowhere, making Steve jump.

“I’m just thinking.” Steve sighed.  

“Like I said, stupid.” Bucky sat down on the log next to him so close their thighs touched.  

Steve laughed without any humor. He felt tears push against the back of his eyes. Bucky’s arm wrapped around his shoulder. His head fell forward into his hands. He was exhausted.

“Rhodes filled me in on a few things.” Bucky squeezed his buddy’s shoulder. “Sounds rough, particularly for you and Natasha.”

“God. Nat.” Steve choked. He looked up at the stars, sniffing back reluctant tears. “I am so tired, Buck. I don’t have any fight left me. None.”

Something inside Bucky crumbled. He knew Steve meant it. That kid who got up time and time again after getting his ass beat, ready to go again because it was the right thing to do finally couldn’t. He just nodded, squeezing his friend tighter, not trusting his own voice.  

“Part of me just wants to go back to a simpler time, make different choices.” Steve whispered, hating himself a little for saying it. “Not take on the fight, not take on the pain, and just live a simple life.”

“Yeah,” Bucky cleared his tight throat. “Although even when we were kids, things weren’t so simple.”

A long silence stretched before Steve moved away a little. “Not talking about when we were kids. I mean actually going back.”

Bucky froze. No.  

Steve glanced at his friend, the hurt look staring back doubled the guilt eating away at his gut. “I saw her, Buck. Peggy.” He returned his focus to the stars. “I never stopped loving her.”

Torn between wanting to hit him and wanting to shake him, Bucky stood up. He paced, stopped, and paced some more. Steve stared at his hands in silence. Finally, Bucky stopped in front of him. His words were tight, ground out through clenched teeth. “Never mind me, or Sam, or anyone else on the team... what about Y/N? You don’t love her anymore?”

“Of course, I love her.” Steve’s face crumbled.  

“So you’re just going to abandon her?” Bucky snapped.

“She’s strong, a fighter...”

Buck cut him off. “Yeah and Carter was always such a pushover.”

Steve pushed his hands through his hair. His voice broke, cracked with pain and exhaustion. “I can’t do it anymore. Bucky, please. I can’t fight anymore battles. I don’t have it in me. I’ve given up my whole life for everyone else. Always. I just...” A sob ripped free, and he stuffed his fist in his mouth.  

“Pal,” Bucky put his hand on Steve’s head. “If anyone deserves to have a happy ending, it’s you.” Tears of his own slipped down his face. “You know I have your back, no matter what. If never seeing you again means that you’ll be able to have a happy life, then there’s no way I would hold you back. I’d hate it, but it would be worth it if I knew you were happy.”

“Buck.” Steve sniffed. “I don’t mean to...”

“Just be sure before you tell Y/N. I mean be absolutely positive.” Bucky’s face went hard. “Don’t break her heart and then change your mind. I swear I will break your neck.”

“What if I don’t know?” Steve whispered.  

“Then don’t say anything to anyone.” Bucky sighed. “If you don’t come back, then I’ll explain it.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not. I’m telling you, that’s how it should go.”

“Buck,” Steve stood. They embraced, hugging tight. “Love you, punk.”

“You too, jerk.” Bucky squeezed him hard, praying to whatever powers that be that he would not have to tell everyone who loved Steve too that he would never be coming home.  

__________________________

“Don’t do anything stupid ‘til I get back” Steve tried to smile. ‘I still don’t know. Don’t say anything.’

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Bucky forced a smile, too. ‘Be sure, whatever you do.’

Steve stepped up on the platform. The first jump would take him to Asgard. 

Thor gave him very specific instructions on how to return the Aether. Steve chuckled when Thor told him to put the hammer down anywhere, but on a window sill would be best... less damage to the building when he called it.  

He arrived in a cavernous hall, surrounded by stone and gold. Unfamiliar scents filled the air, pleasant and rich, but he could not place them. Steve heard footsteps and ducked behind a corner. The person stopped close. He waited, silent.

“You must be a very close friend of my son’s.” A woman spoke. “Come out. I won’t raise the alarm.”

Steve cautiously stepped into the open. She was regal in every sense of the word. “Why not?”

“You are able to wield Mjolnir. It’s no small feat.” She smiled gently. “He was here earlier. The future is not going to be kind to Thor.”

He swallowed, taking a deep breath. Thor confessed to him privately he’d seen Frigga. Now seeing her for himself, Steve understood why. He didn’t even know her and he wanted to tell her everything even if he knew he couldn’t. She just radiated a calm, a peace he wanted to drown in.  

“It’s not kind to any of us.” Steve sighed. “I have to return this to Dr. Foster. I don’t want to, but I can’t risk not doing it.”

“Alright.” She smiled sadly. “Let me see what I can do to help. Follow me.”

He did, without question.  

“I don’t want to know what is going to happen, what has happened to you. It has something to do with the Infinity Stones, though doesn’t it?” Frigga glanced sideways at Steve. His jaw clenched. She slipped her hand into his elbow and grinned when his arm instinctively came up to properly escort her. “Did my son tell you anything of my power, my upbringing?”

“Thor say you’re the kindest and wisest person he’s ever known.” Steve answered. “You taught Loki much of his magic and that you see things, the truth of things.”

“That’s one way of putting it. I can follow of the strings of destiny.” She patted his bicep. “I can tell that you, like my son, stand at a crossroads. Perhaps the most important one of your life, because this one is a decision all your own. I don’t know what, but I know it’s deeply personal and profoundly painful.”

Steve stopped, staring wide eyed into her calm face.

“I find when I cannot unravel the answer, I lean on wise counsel.” Frigga led him on. “I may not be the best counsel for you. There is an Ancient One more familiar with your ways that is close to where you call home. Before you do anything else, I would seek out her.”

Steve’s mind jumped to the encounter Banner told him about with the woman who gave him the Time Stone. “Do you know her?”

“No, not personally.” Frigga smiled. “But she protects not just Midgard but all of Yggdrasil. Those of us with the ability definitely know of her.”  

They stopped before a large door ornately carved. “Give me a few moments, then come in.”

Steve waited, listening intently. Nothing but the distant sounds of the city reached his ears. Finally he pushed open the door, peering inside. Frigga stood over the sleeping form of Jane. She waved him over assuring him that the little mortal would not feel a thing, nor would she remember. He felt a little sick when he injected the Aether back into Foster.  

He stood back, staring into Frigga’s kind eyes before deciding to change his plans. Reprogramming the controls for the jump to take him to New York instead of Morag. Extending a hand, Steve took her small hand in his. “Thank you, for everything.”

“When you see my son, tell him to take care of himself.” She pulled him close and kissed his cheek. “Take care of yourself, too.”

Steve nodded, unsure how he would do it, but willing to try.  He stepped back and pressed the button.  

________________________

The jump dropped him on the roof of a building. He looked around, seeing the Chitauri battle not far away. His stomach dropped, the memories of the losses still keen. Another day when everything changed. A battle won, but the world’s innocence died. Aliens were real, and they were as bad as people ever imagined.

“It seems as if Dr. Banner was true to his word.” A calm voice spoke.

“I’ve come to return the stone to you.” Steve turned to see a small, bald woman in eastern clothing. Although nothing like the Norse Goddess, she radiated a similar calm...a powerful presence, like a monolith unmoving among the storm.  

With a wave of her hands, the green stone rose from its container and return to its home in the Eye hanging around her neck.  

“Captain,” She stared at him in a manner that left him feel exposed. “Walk with me.”

She turned, entering the building. Steve followed. Inside the temperature dropped, not uncomfortably. The dim light reflected off the well-polished wood. Cases held artifacts and books lined the shelves.  The air smelled spicy, like raw incense.

“Time is an interesting thing. It is complex.” She spoke melodically as she wove through the glass cases. “It is linear, yet not. It is set, yet holds immeasurable permutations. What is not complex is our journey through it. With every moment, every experience, we change. We incorporate all that we learn as time passes, yet if we move through time we do not unlearn what we know.”

Steve felt his brow pull together. “I suppose we are all molded by our experiences.”

She paused at an hourglass, looking at sands drop a few at a time. “I think you are looking to unlearn what time has taught you. I’m afraid you cannot dial back who you are as easily as rolling back the hands of a clock. Somethings are too powerful to unmake, some threads of who we are cannot be broken.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Steve frowned. He just wanted to rest, to have his turn to be happy.

“You are tired, Captain.” She stepped closer, arms folded behind her back. For all of the intensity, she looked upon him kindly. “We often cannot see clearly through weary eyes.”  

His eyes closed, feeling the burn of frustrated tears again. Steve ground his teeth together. “I am.” He sighed. “And I have a lot more to do before my mission is complete.”

“I would offer you safe place to rest, but I don’t think you will accept.” The edge of her mouth tipped up with a hint of a smile.

“No.” Steve took a deep breath. “I have a long way to go.”

“Very well,” she led him to a large round window where they could see the battle raging in the distance. Turning, she placed a hand on his chest over his heart. “You are a good man, Steve. Through trials and strife, you have remained true to yourself. What’s more, you have evolved. You’ve grown.” A calm smile spread across her face. “Like so many things in the universe, the more you grow, the more you realize how small you are. The more you know, the more you realize you have yet to learn. It can be burdensome, exhausting. But it can also be an exhilarating adventure if we can see it through fresh eyes.”  

Steve knew he should be contemplating her words more deeply. He knew he should heed Frigga’s words and seek this woman’s counsel. However, it just caused the pain in his head to increase. He didn’t want to consider the cryptic meaning behind this woman’s words. He wanted to fold Peggy in his arms, in a simpler place, in a simpler time, and just sleep for days.

The strange woman stared at him, making him feel like she could see straight through him to question his inner most desire without ever saying a word. A defensive urge surged, but he fought it back. Strange called her the Ancient One. Frigga said she defended the world on this plain and others. Getting defensive over her stare, especially when he carried so much doubt was foolish. 

That small smile touched her lips again. “Be well, Steve. May your path eventually lead you to happiness.”

Steve stared out the window at the battle once more, another memory rising to the surface. Out there, among the populace running for their lives, you were helping Clint after he crashed through a window. You helped him evacuate the building and fight off invaders. It was the turning point that brought you into his life. It was the day you decided to give up your job at the FBI to join the Avengers Initiative.  

Guilt twisted his insides, and he choked out “thanks” before turning to leave. He had to return the scepter to Stark Tower. He stopped when she called out his name once more.  

“At least allow me to help you get to your next destination safely." She held out one hand and formed a circle with the other. A portal opened.  

He could see the corner of the elevator banks in the lobby of Stark Tower. Steve’s mouth opened slightly. Did this woman really know what he was thinking? It was exactly where he wanted to intercept the Hydra Agents. “Thank...thank you.”

She gave him a nod, and he stepped through.

_______________________

Returning the Power Stone turned out to be thankfully uneventful. Steve hoped, as he climbed the mountainside on the Vormir, that the Soul Stone would be equally quiet. He did not see anyone. All of the intelligence proved out, no cities or even life forms to be seen.  

“I never thought I would see you again.”  

Steve brought his shield up, shooting with the other hand. The black clad figure only looked down at himself, unmoved as if the bullets passed straight through. Johann Schmidt laughed, red skulled face cracking in a grotesque mirth.  

“Captain.” He held out both hands. “You cannot kill me. I’m already in purgatory.” 

“What?” Steve didn’t relax his stance.  

“I made the mistake of trying to control a Stone and have been paying the price.” 

“You’re...” Steve swallowed past the vice grip around his throat. Clint’s words echoing in his mind about the red floating guy who made them choose. “You were here when Natasha sacrificed herself for the Soul Stone.”

“Yes. A soul for a soul.”

“I’ve brought it back.” Steve strode forward, fury growing with each step. “I want her back.”  

“Ah. Interesting.” Schmidt’s red face tilted sideways, studying him. “Her soul would have worked for you as well.”

“A soul for a soul. That’s what you said.” Steve growled. “I want her back.”

“Yes, because you are tied to her, returning the stone will release her.”  

Steve gasped.

“Though not the way you wish, I think.”

Cap tried to grab him but got a fist full of black mist. “What do you mean?”

“If you return the stone, her soul will return to your life somehow, though not in the form you knew.”

“Like, what? Reincarnation?” Steve frowned.  

“No. Yes.” Schmidt shrugged. “The souls that weave together over time touch and change over lifetimes. If you return the stone, her soul will be free to join the tapestry again.”

“How?”  

“Throw it into the abyss.” The black spectral hand pointed to the edge.

Steve approached the edge, acutely aware this was the last place Natasha was alive. His breath grew shallow. The pain of her loss stabbed his chest. He never properly mourned Nat, his sister in every way but blood. He trusted her, loved her, would never be the same without her.

Finding himself looking down into a deep chasm, the bottom obscured by black fog, Steve threw the stone. He gave a silent prayer that she would be free, would touch his life again. As the stone disappeared, a golden orange shaft of light shot skyward. Brilliant, like the burning of the setting sun over the desert. The light spread radiating heat. Then vanished.  

Steve looked down to see a solid stone floor far below in the chasm. He stepped back from the edge with a sharp intake of breath. Then it hit him. Faint, but undeniable, Steve could smell her. He closed his eyes and breathed deep. Natasha. Another breath and it was gone.

He turned around, remembering Schmidt, but didn’t see him anywhere. Perhaps it was true. Perhaps Nat’s soul was free and that somehow, someway, it would touch his again. The thought brought a little bit of warmth back.

There was only one stone left to return. Steve set the controls for New Jersey 1970.

______________________  

Returning the Tesseract was simple now that Steve knew his way around the secure sections of the Army base. He made his way through the halls towards Peggy’s office, nerves moving him forward, but having no idea what he would say. The lights inside the office were office, creating both a surge of anxiety and relief.  

Making certain no one noticed, he slipped inside. In the dim light he saw the photo of himself on the desk. Not after the procedure, but from when they’d first met. It warmed his heart that this was the version of himself she chose to remember.  

He set it back down and looked around... and froze.

He did not notice the far wall last time. It was full of framed photographs and certificates. A large photo of Peggy and her family held a place of honor in the center. Her husband was a kind looking man, her children were beautiful. They looked to be young teens in the photo.  

Another photo showed her and her daughter when she was a baby. Another of her son in his little league gear. Peggy and her husband stood beside Howard Stark and John F. Kennedy in one picture. 

Certificate and diplomas memorializing Peggy’s hard work and advancement were presented side by side with her family. She showed everyone she could fight the good fight and what she was fighting for...all on one wall of photographs. 

All the memories Peggy told him about. 

Steve found himself sliding to the floor, back against a file cabinet and hand squeezed tightly over his mouth. He wanted to scream. All her hard work, everything Peggy did for the world, and he hadn’t even considered it. She wouldn’t give up. If he showed up in 1945, she wouldn’t understand wanting to hide from the world. Even if she agreed, she would never do any of these things. 

His eyes locked closed as he fought back a sob. It was all a foolish dream. There was no going back. The Ancient One spoke the truth. He may be able to go back in time, but he can’t undo what time did to him. He was not the naive soldier Peggy knew. Steve choked. He felt battered, and bitter, far too cynical to even pretend to be that man again.  

Still, every fiber in his being screamed to hold her. The tears she shed every time he visited her in the nursing home killed him a little bit. He wanted his dance.  

Turning to the filing cabinet at his back, Steve quietly dug through the files until he found what he needed. An old address and an old date.  

_______________________

Steve reached the house just as the sun went down. The curtains were open and he could see Peggy moving back and forth from the living room to the kitchen. His palms were sweating.  A brand new 1947 Buick drove by as he crossed the street to the front steps. His heart pounded so hard he could hear it in his ears as he knocked on the door.

Peggy answered with a smile, but her eyes went huge and filled with tears. Her hand covered her mouth.  

“Hey, Doll.” Steve reached out, taking her by the elbow and stepping inside. “It’s okay.”

“St-Steve.” Peggy breathed. He nodded. Her hand came out and touched his chest, his face. Tears fell. She stepped forward and he wrapped his arms around her.  

Steve sighed, holding her closed, breathing her in. Some deep empty gash began to stitch closed. They stood there for a long time before Peggy’s curiosity grew. “How?”

“We need to talk.” Steve’s fingers traced over her back. “Can I – Can I just hold you for a minute more?”

She nodded against his chest.  

“I’m going to tell you something that’s pretty hard to believe.” Steve buried his face in her hair. “And I’m going to ask you to never tell anyone about it. Ever.”

“Steve,” She gave a tearful chuckle. “You’re back from the dead. You’ve got hard to believe covered.”

He pulled back, cupping her face in one large hand. Steve’s mouth covered hers, soft and sweet. Tentative, Peggy kissed him slowly. He found himself instantly conflicted. Relishing in the simple kiss, one he only dreamed of having, he simultaneously missed the ravenous intensity of the kisses he shared with you.  

“How? Steve? What happened?” Peggy pushed back.  

“Best we sit down.” Steve led her to the sofa. He took her hands in his.  

Steve didn’t know where to start. He’d thought about it, considered all the best options, but there still did not seem like any good options. He turned to face Peggy more directly. His brows drew together.  

“What happened after the crash?” Peggy asked.

“I was frozen... for about 70 years.” Steve stared at their joined hands.  

“What?” She breathed.

“I’m - I’ve come back from, well, a long time from now.” Steve looked into her wide eyes. “I can’t explain how. I shouldn’t even be here. I just had to...” He bit back his words, fighting to control himself.  

Peggy let out a slow breath. “That means... oh Steve. It would be a completely different world. Everyone you know. I’m so sorry.”

“No,” He shook his head. “I, um, found friends...people that became like family. But everything is so...” Steve’s face pinched, tears threatening to fall. He whispered. “I just really missed... I wanted to have that dance.”

Her hand ghosted over his face and he opened his eyes. “What happened? I’ve never seen you look so...”

Tears fell as he finished for her. “Tired. I’m tired, Peggy. I’ve fought, and fought, and I don’t think I can do it anymore. I’ve seen things, battled things, that make the Nazis look like pussycats. There’s no more clear right and wrong. There’s no more good answers.”

“Stevie.” Tears fell down her cheeks matching his. Her fingers stroked through his hair. “I’m so sorry. But if you have this ability, this technology, then can you keep these things from happening?” She watched him shake his head. “Too easy, huh? What about your friends?”

“Lost some of the best. Nat, Tony.” Steve’s face crumpled. “Tony is, was, Howard’s son.”

Peggy’s hand covered her mouth as Steve went on.

“He was brilliant, Peggy. Smarter than Howard ever imagined. He sacrificed everything. Now his little girl...”

“She has you, right?”

Shame flushed fresh over Steve. He’d never even consider Morgan. “Yeah, she has a lot of us. Every one of the Avengers will look out for her.”

“Avengers?”

“Um,” Steve frowned. “We’re a collection of highly skilled, gifted, agents of a sort. We fight the bad guys.”

“And there’s a lot of Avengers.” Peggy asked, still smoothing his hair.

“More that I would have thought possible when we first started.” Steve nodded.

Peggy held his face in her hands. “You are always the one to lay on the wire, to lead the charge. Steve, maybe you need to let your friends fight some battles, too.”

“They do...”

“Steve. Maybe you can let them fight a few without you.” Peggy’s worried expression finally registered in his tired mind. “You don’t always have to be the one leading the charge.”

He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against hers. “Always so smart. You’re going to do amazing things.”

“Don’t tell me.” Peggy placed a finger over his lips. “I want to be surprised.” He sighed. “We’re not going to meet again, are we?”

“You said you want to be surprised.” Steve whispered. His lips trailed over hers again. She pulled back before the kiss could deepen. “Never stopped lovin’ you, though.” He confessed.

“Me too.” Peggy cried. She sniffed. “I should let you know, though, there’s a very good man who wants to marry me.”

Steve sat up a little straighter, wiping his face before give her a smile. “You love him?”

“Yeah,” She wiped her own tears. “Although, I’m making him wait. There’s things I want to do first.”

He laughed. “That’s my girl.”

She laughed as well, taking his hand again. “Even though you’re out there somewhere, and I’m not going to have you in my life,” Peggy swallowed hard, “I’m so happy you’re still alive and have people who care about you.”

Steve stared at her for a long time. “Do you think I could have that dance before I go?”

____________________

You stepped up between Bucky and Sam when Bruce announced that Steve missed the return time. Sam looked confused, but the look on Bucky’s face made your heart sink. He knew something. You took his hand.  

“You came?” He asked.  

“Tried to get here in time to see him off but I was held up.” You chewed your lower lips. Pulling him away from the others, you dropped your voice. “He was really distracted, hurting, before he left.”

Bucky nodded.  

“So was I.” You squeezed his hand harder. “God, Buck, I have the worse feeling. But I don’t know what I’m thinking right now. With everything that happened, learning about what we missed, losing Vis and Nat and Tony. Feeling like shit and now finding out...ugh, I’m just losing my mind right now.” Big tears filled your eyes.

He took you by the shoulders. He did not want to say anything, not yet. Steve just missed the return time a minute ago. “Finding out what, Doll?”  

You reached into your back pocket and handed him your phone, a readout open on the screen. He looked it over carefully, twice. You cried as his eyes lifted back to you.

Wrapping you in his arms, Bucky rubbed your back. “Just breath, okay? When did you...”

“Just now. It’s why I’m late.” You held tight to his chest. “I should have done it earlier. What something happens and Steve...”

“Bucky!” Sam shouted.

You both looked up to see Steve walking toward you all from the lake. You felt Bucky take a deep breath. You let out a small sob. He placed his hand at the small of your back. “Come on.”

Sam was just pulling away from a hug when you come closer. Steve looked at you, seeing the tears in your eyes. “Buck?”

“No. She’s got news.”

“Sweetheart,” Steve pulled you closer, thumbing away a tear at the corner of your eye. You pulled him closer to kiss him. Your lips pulling at his lower lip, before your tongue slid along his, drawing a low moan from him.  He pulled you close, burying his face in your hair. He whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” You pulled back some.

“Being an idiot.” He sighed. “A tired, stupid, idiot.”  

Steve stood up straighter. “I need to tell you guys something. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I never thought I’d say this but, I’m stepping down.”

“What the – wha?” Sam sputtered.

Steve stepped away from you and gripped Sam’s shoulder. Every bit of anguish showed in his eyes. “I can’t do it, man. Not now. These last years, these battles, just took all I had left. I’ve thought about it.” He held out his shield. “I want you to hold on to this.”

“You’re full of shit.” Sam balked.  

“No.” Steve shook his head. “You do what I do, remember? It’s you.”

Sam hefted the shield. Bucky smiled. “Doesn’t look like complete crap.”

“Piss off.” Sam laughed.

“So, what are you going to do, then?” Bucky asked Steve.

“It’s going to take a lot of work to just get things working across the world again. I’d like the Avengers to have a positive impact on the changes without having to resort to something like the accords.” Steve answered thoughtfully. “I think it’s work that would rejuvenate me. I’m tired of breaking things. I’d like to create something instead.”

“Sounds like you’ll be doing a lot of that.” Bucky’s smile spread ear to ear.  

“Buck,” You rolled your eyes him as you slipped under Steve’s arm. “Come with me.”  

You led Steve back toward the water. He held you close, voice tight. “Sweetheart, I’m really sorry. I’ve been...messed up. I should have been at your side every minute. I know I said it before, but my god, life just fell apart with you gone. Coming back, and everything is different, is such a shock. And it’s only been a few days...”

You stopped, facing him. “Steve, do you really mean you’re stepping down from missions?”

“Yeah, Sweetheart. I’ve got to.”

“Good. Me too.”  

Steve’s quizzical look caused you to pull your phone from your back pocket.  

“I didn’t make when you left out for your mission, because I was having this rerun. I didn’t think it was possible, but the test is conclusive.” You handed him the report.

Fresh tears filled Steve eyes, these washed away his pain and filled him with joy. He read the words again and again, pregnancy: positive. A bright smile met your own, he breathed out in awe. “I’m going to be a dad.”

You nodded as he swept you up in his arms and spun you around. He kissed you deeply, thoroughly. Finally, smiling against your lips, Steve said. “Love you. Thank you for being there for me, for being here for me. You and this little princess are everything to me.”

“Princess, huh?” You cuddled into him. “Already sure it’s a girl?”

“Just a hunch.” Steve kissed your hair, utterly confident in the turn he’d taken at the crossroad.

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[lia-jones]

Growing Pains - Chapter Four - My Office. NOW.

I arrived at LFG the next day at 8 am, way before everybody else did. I went to the CEO’s office and left an envelope on top of his desk, with my resignation letter inside.

I brewed some coffee, and grabbing a cup for myself, I sat on my laptop and worked on the pending things I had to do for the week. Whoever would take my work, would have no problem picking up the pace if I left things organized.

I was so absorbed in my task I didn’t even notice all the other people coming in. I also didn’t notice Victor’s arrival, so it came as a surprise to see Victor’s message on the company communication channel.

My office. NOW.

I knocked on the glass door and heard a dry “come in”. Victor was sitting at his desk, my resignation letter in his hand.

“You called?” I said, my voice emotionless.

“Explain this.” His tone was severe, angry even, as he threw the letter on the desk with contempt.

“Not much to explain, it’s my resignation letter.” I said, my cold eyes meeting his fiery ones.

“Is it now?” His tone was of scorn. “Here’s what I think about your resignation letter.” He took the letter from the table and slowly ripped it to pieces. I was astonished, not believing my own eyes. That man had some nerve. Suddenly he got up, and although he wasn’t loud or aggressive, I was startled all the same. I could hear my heartbeat in my eardrums.

“Tomorrow morning a car will be picking you up at 6:30 in the morning. You will be ready for it at 6: 29, so you won’t cause any delays. You’ll pack a bag for a two-day trip, including dresses for business dinners. You said you wanted to learn, here is your chance, I will teach you. Tomorrow, you’ll sit with me at the grown-ups table.” His grey eyes were menacing and icy, defying me to retort or refuse. Seeing him like this, I simply couldn’t. I just stood there and took all of his fury, unable to move a muscle. He paused for a moment, watching my reaction, and continued.

“Goldman will send you my schedule for the next two days, which you will memorize like it was your own name. You’ll also come prepared with all the information required about the companies I am going to visit, including reports on your analysis of the present reality for those companies, and what actions should be taken to protect the investments. And you will not fail or disappoint me, or I will personally make sure you will never work in finances again, here or in any other place. Understood?”

He spat the threat like it was coming from the deepest darkest pit inside him, and it fell on me like a double punch on my gut. I remained silent, knowing that I couldn’t possibly say no to him. I wasn’t pleased with the whole situation, but I wasn’t stupid enough to face the angry bear now. I had poked him, after all.

“Yes. Anything else, sir?” I said, my expression emotionless, the word sir coming out sourer than I intended.

His eye twitched, and for a nanosecond, it seemed this was as hard for him as it was for me, a glint of discomfort in his eyes. Clearly wishful thinking. He sat down and picked a file, and spoke to me while reading it. It was clearly his way to show despise.

“Yes. Later today you will have a desk placed in my office. You will be working with me closely, taking all the tasks I give you. You will be here when I arrive, and you will only leave when I tell you to leave. I will be demanding and most likely ill-tempered, but you’ll take it like an adult, since I will be teaching you everything I know. In return, I expect from you nothing less than excellence.”

I couldn’t believe this was happening, but I wouldn’t relent. I asked to be taught, didn’t I? If I played my cards right, I could profit greatly from all the knowledge he had to offer. I didn’t know if the CEO was pushing me to be better or if it was just punishment for being sassy, but I wouldn’t lose the opportunity to get my hands dirty and learn something worth the trouble.

Seeing Victor was already busy with his own work, not even caring to finish the conversation, I excused myself and went to my desk. Ted was waiting by my chair, his expression worried.

“What the hell happened? You’re pale as a ghost.” He asked, worried.

“Victor will be supervising me now. I will move to his office soon.” I said, my body feeling tired as all the tension slowly left it.

“Did he say why?”

“Not really.” I lied. “I think he wasn’t pleased with my reports.”

“Are you keeping any of my accounts? You were working on them, will Victor be supervising them too?” Ted seemed worried, maybe because he felt his efficiency was on trial as well.

“I don’t know, Ted. He’s your buddy, go ask him yourself.”

Ted didn’t lose any time. He went straight to Victor’s office. I just sat at my desk and went back to work, not minding what was happening there.

I opened my email to find I already had an email from Goldman with the schedule for the two-day trip. I printed it and put it beside me, starting to research about the companies we would be visiting.

I was so busy with my own work I didn’t notice the time pass me by, the busy energy of the company acting only as a background noise. I was startled by someone tapping me on the shoulder. It was Diane.

“Oh sweetie, I noticed you just came back from Victor’s office. You don’t look so good. We’re going to grab something to eat. Would you like to join us?” She said, smiling. Diane was a tall blonde with piercing blue eyes, and a voice so calm it could literally put you to sleep. She was one of the best workers in LFG, constantly praised by Victor but especially by Goldman, that seemed to like and respect her deeply. It was no surprise though, her heart being as big as her brains, and her attitude always positive and wise, making it extremely difficult not to like her.

I looked at the clock, it was one pm. But I still had a lot of work to cover. I was about to say no, when a man approached me.

“Hey, you’re Andrea, right? I’m Lenny. I’m here to move your things to the CEO’s office while you have lunch.” Lenny extended his hand for me to shake.

“Actually, I still have work to do…” I said, not wanting to leave my desk at all. Victor would be arriving from his lunch break soon, and I was pretty sure he would dump all kinds of tasks on me. And I still wasn’t done with what I had started in the morning.

“20 minutes, that’s all I ask. You’ll be doing me a solid, if the CEO arrives to see I still haven’t done what he asked me to, I’ll be in trouble.”

“Come with us, Andrea, we won’t take long, I have a lot to do too. You grab some lunch and relax a little, you’ll be more productive when you return.” Diane chimed in.

“20 minutes.” I turned to Lenny. “And make sure everything is working properly, I can’t lose any more time than the much I’m giving you.”

Lenny agreed and I went with Diane and some other people to this salad bar we often went to. We sat with our lunch, the others engaged in conversation, me and Diane eating silently. That is, until Diane broke the silence.

“So… Do you want to talk about what happened? Goldman was in his office when he opened your letter. He said he has never seen him so angry.”

“Well, the report presentation went incredibly sour yesterday. I thought he was going to fire me, so I quit. To save myself the humiliation. He didn’t take it too well.” I blurted out. I didn’t want to, but I needed to tell somebody.

“Went sour how?”

“Well, he called me an idiot… And I called him a bully. And he is a bully, Diane. I never had any complaints until yesterday, but I see how he treats people. Like he is the only smart person in the room. You’re close to Goldman, you know how nervous he gets. Life can’t be easy for him.” I tried to defend myself, although I knew I wasn’t very nice to Victor either.

“Ok… But he didn’t fire you. You’re moving your stuff to his office.” Diane stated, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

“He’s my supervisor now and he wants me to work closely with him. Probably to make me trip and add to my humiliation.” I sighed.

“I’ve known Victor for a while now. Goldman and I have been in the company for at least 7 years working close to him. And he’s not what he seems, Andy. He gives off the cold vibe but he’s actually a very kind and honorable person. It’s hard for him to let people in, I think. Do you know how Goldman started working at LFG?”

I shook my head, giving her my undivided attention.

“He was in a very bad place when he applied. He was practically homeless, he had lost his parents recently, nobody would hire him. He applied to work as a receptionist. Victor interviewed him, for some reason.” Diane paused to sip her drink. “When Victor asked him why someone with an Economics degree was applying as a receptionist, he told him his troubles. Victor not only hired him, but he did it as his assistant. And for a while, LFG paid the rental of a small apartment so Goldman could save some money and get himself back on his feet. And Victor taught him everything he needed to know about the job, making him his right arm. Victor didn’t need to do that.”

I pondered for a moment, thinking about how he helped me with my car trouble. Although it was a very uncomfortable experience, he was nothing but a gentleman. But that man was a very different man from the man threatening me in his office.

“He seems to be two very different people.” I said, concluding the conversation, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

“Well, since you are working with him, here’s a piece of advice. Don’t let his standoffish act fool you. Give him the benefit of the doubt.”

I nodded. Maybe he wasn’t all that bad. I sure hoped so, since I would be in close vicinity for the next few months.

I ran to the office to finish my work. My desk was already set on Victor’s office. Fortunately, he was still on his lunch break, so I sat and put on my earphones, resuming my work, my focus solely on my screen, the music blocking exterior stimuli. I worked fast and furiously for a while, my mind speeding through the process, when my concentration was broken by the sight of a tie next to my screen. I could only imagine the scolding I would get if the CEO had been there for long talking to me and I didn't listen.

“Sorry for the earphones. I needed to focus. Do you need anything?” I asked him.

“Do you have your reports ready? Did you gather all the information regarding the companies?”

“Almost ready. It’ll be finished in half an hour.” I answered.

“Let’s hope the quality of your work surpasses your efficiency, which is seriously lacking. A toddler could do it in half the time.” He said, sitting down at his desk.

I sighed. Who told me to be that straightforward to the guy and call him a bully?

“Did you have lunch?” I heard his voice again.

“Yes, I took a quick break and ate.”

“Rule number one in this office: No matter how busy you are, you take a break to eat and drink.”

“Understood.”

“The last thing I need is the intern to pass out from hunger and make a fool of herself in my office.”

This was going to be hell. I could feel it. Way to go, Andrea, you missed a perfectly good opportunity to be quiet.

[ubernoxa]

The Dare: A Guns N’ Roses FanFic

Chapter 21: A Photographer

Taglist: @queen-crue @gingerspicetalks

(Masterlist)

Chapter 21:

“You’re staring,” Mags teased as Delilah watched the photographer direct Duff on where/how to pose for the photo with the rest of the band. They looked good, they looked like rockstars.

“And you’re staring at me staring at Duff. People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones,” Delilah teased back at Mags now turning her full attention to her.

“Glass houses are stupid anyway. Imagine how much fun it would be though to destroy a glass house,” Mags fantasized before taking another sip of her drink.

“How’s Drew?” Mags blushed when Delilah mentioned his name.

“He...uhh...ya know...he’s good...and...ummm...magazine business’s is umm...good,” Mags stumbled over every work as she spoke.

Delilah smiled as Mags stumbled over her words. Yeah, she had a crush. Delilah was ecstatics that Mags had found someone. Maybe they could go on double dates together.

“Drew and Mags sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes -“ before Delauh could continue singing, Mags had covered Delilah’s mouth making her laugh.

“Duff, look at the camera!” The photographer said making Duff look away from Delilah and over towards the photographer.

“He can’t help it. I swear whenever she laughs, even if it’s a giggle, he gets this stupid ass grin on his face,” Slash immediately said without skipping a beat earning a laugh from the band.

“Young love,” the cameraman smiled back at the bassist before he continued. He hoped it lasted. Most don’t, and it would probably end in heartbreak. It was only a matter of time with bands like them. Guns N’ Roses had a reputation for being...rockstars. It was only a matter of time until they got signed and went on tour. He wondered how long Duff would last without cheeting on her, or maybe he was already and the girl didn’t even know it.

“Hey Drew, you here to interview the guys?,” Mags didn’t miss a beat when she saw Drew walk into the room.

Delilah gave Mags a quick look, yeah, just friends. Delilah shook her head and his a small chuckle as he walked over towards them. As he got closer Delilah noticed a small bruise on her collarbone. She figured he must of dropped a camera or something on his collarbone. Her heart sunk a little as she hoped he wasn’t in too much pain.

“That’s my cue to go get another drink, have fun flirting,” Delilah teased before she went to go to the drink table across the room.

“Hey Mags, and yeah! My boss liked the story I did, so he wanted me to do a quick follow up interview which will probably lead to more to be honest,” Drew replied. He wanted to punch himself in the gut, why was he nervous?

“That’s awesome! Any news on when your first story will get published?” Mags cheered back.

“Yeah, it will be out in about a week, it still doesn’t feel real. I can’t believe I’m going to be a published writer!” Mags smiled at the enthusiasm that filled his deep brown eyes.

Mags quickly saw the mark she left earlier on him right on his collarbone. She smirked and took a step closer to him. “I think I liked you better with your shirt off,” Mags tugged on the bottom of his polo shirt referencing their actions earlier in the night.

“And I like you better without your shirt as well,” he almost whispered.

“Sounds like we both got a lot in common,” Mags shrugs earning a laugh from Drew.

He took a step closer and whispered into her ear, “I’m glad we can both agree on that fucking good sex is a good pastime.”

Steven looked across the room watching his younger sister.

“You’re staring,” Delilah teasingly sung as he refilled her drink next to her. His once cheerful demeanor that had filled their conversation earlier had gone cold.

“She’s my sister, I gotta look out for her,” Delilah could feel the honestly in the way he spoke. It was sweet that he was looking after her. Delilah was then quickly flooded with memories of her siblings. The first memory that her brain brought to life was when her older brother taught her to ride a bike. She was not a natural by any means and she screamed at him when he took her training wheels off. In the end though she learned to ride her bike and he was there with her every step of the way. Also there watching and protecting her, something she will now never be able to do for her younger siblings.

“Earth to Delilah? You okay?” Steven’s voice pulled Delilah away from her memories as she took another large gulp of alcohol.

“He was a stable job you know. He seems nice. Plus she really likes him,” Delilah added changing the focus back to Mags.

“As long as she likes him and isn’t fucking him to get us interviews,” It was in that moment that Delilah began to choke on her drink. After a couple of coughs she was fine, but Duff was quickly at her side rubbing her back.

“You okay?” He asked taking her drink and placing it on the table behind her.

“Yeah, I just swallowed wrong, nothing really. You’d think by now I would have learned to drink properly,” Delilah jokes back.

“Come on, let’s get a photo together,” before Delilah could say no, Duff had dragged her over towards the couch they were taking pictures on.

The photographer immediately smiled when Duff motioned between him and Delilah. He was already done with the solo photos of the guys, so why not a few more.

“Alright, so Duff can you sit on the far left on the couch with your arm resting on the armrest?” The photographer directed as Duff quickly sat back down in the couch.

“Now, what’s you’re name?” The photographer looked over towards Delilah.

“Del,” Duff answered before she could say it herself.

“Del? That’s an odd name, is it short for something?”

“Yeah, Delilah,” she felt weird saying that name aloud. It didn’t feel right.

“That’s a biblical name. Doesn’t that mean delicate?” The photographer asked as he motioned for Delilah to lay down.

Delilah simply nodded not entirely thrilled on talking about the origin of her name.

“Now..Del, place your head in Duff’s lap and..actually can you mess up your hair a little bit?,” the photographer asked.

Delilah quickly sat up and began to mess up her hair, but stopped once she felt Duff helping. She let a laugh escape her as he purposefully threw some of her hair in her own face.

After a couple of seconds he was done and Delilah laidback down with her head in his lap.

She then felt him place his left arm down her side causing Delilah to squirm a little.

“I’m looking for a candid shot so just start talking. Let it come naturally,” the photographer said as he began to take photos of the pair.

“You look hot,” Duff looked down at Delilah who was obviously nervous. He could feel her heart racing.

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” Delilah could get used to this view, Duff looking down at her.

Duff began to tap Delilah’s thigh causing her heart rate to skyrocket.

After a couple of pictures, the two of them finished the photos and Delilah went to join Mags as Drew interviewed the band.

Delilah began to pour herself a third drink.

“Hey,” Mags said pulling Delilah’s attention from her drink.

“Hey, you and Drew seem to be doing good,” Delilah tried to hide the smirk, but Mags playfully shoved her when she saw the smirk form on Delilah’s face.

“You looked hot,” Delilah almost spat out her drink when she heard Mags speak.

“Pardon?” Delilah was taken aback by Mags comment.

“The photos that were just took with Duff, you looked hot. It’s a compliment Delilah, not an insult,” Mags said as she took another sip.

“Thanks,” Mags smiled as she saw Delilah look down and blush.

“You look good too,” Delilah’s voice was sweet as she talked to Mags.

[gcldveins]

LASTLY but definitely not least ... daniel weaver ! my newest muse, like literally fresh out the oven .. i’m making this all up as we go fdjngdk so this will be the least organized and thorough intro, i ... am extremely sorry u have to read this...

overview

✎⌠idris elba. cismale. he/him⌡❝ — well, look who’s just arrived ! if it isn’t the one and only daniel weaver. though, around here they’re known as the recluse. don’t tell ‘em i said this but the forty-four year old detective kinda has a reputation of being controlling and abrasive. but y’know, they can be loyal and diligent too. typical scorpio. anyways, welcome home and stay safe weaver ! ❞

statistics

full name: daniel gilligan weaver.

nickname(s): none, literally even his full name he doesn’t like fnjsdfkn

date of birth: october 27th, 1976

hometown: boston, massachusetts.

gender identity: cis gender

preferred pronouns: he/him

sexual orientation: heterosexual

hogwarts house: gryffindor

aesthetic: leather watches, awkward silences, the smell of burnt coffee, late nights, tired eyes, forced smiles, a glass of scotch before five, wrinkled collars, crooked ties, the sound of classic jazz on a turntable

distinguishable characteristics: patron saint of Not Smiling

pinterest board: here

their song from the sigh no more album bc i love this album and it makes me Sad™: sigh no more

background: murder, ptsd tw

— i’m so sorry it’s 1 am and i literally had nothing prepared so this is just going to be a summary and everything else i’ll just ... make up as i go along O_O

— so daniel’s not a misty hollow local, he’s a city kid that grew up in boston ! and growing up, daniel’s family didn’t have a whole lot. he grew up as the oldest son, he has one older sister and then two younger siblings, a girl and a boy. 

— so yeah, big family in an expensive city, money was tight. daniel’s parents were your regular, working class folks who had to pick up odd jobs here and there to make ends meet. but they made it work ! they were an overall pretty happy family !

— even as a child, daniel always stood up for others. whether it be him, eight years old at the school playground, witnessing another kid get pushed to the ground. or him at eighteen, seeing someone in his class getting bullied at school.

— your typical.. very honourable, golden-hearted type. was taught to always show compassion towards others and to give them the blanket off your back if needed.

— that’s why the decision to become a police office only seemed like the natural one ! so he did that, worked as a cop for a few years before eventually making his way up the ranks and earning his title as detective. 

— he worked in the special victims unit ( because i love law & order ) and daniel was on his way to becoming a lieutenant until a particular case hit him hard. 

— missing girl. reminded him a lot of his youngest sister and letting his emotions get the best of him, had made a promise to the parents that he would find her. daniel got really invested in the case, and when they found the girl’s body, dead and brutally murdered, it devastated him. 

— he took a few months of absence at work before ultimately leaving. he picked everything up and accepted the first job offering out of boston that he could find. he moved to a random town in the middle of nowhere .. misty hollow, which brings us to now !

— daniel wanted a fresh start, to lay low and just .. leave all that behind him honestly. he feels like it’s his fault that the girl died and constantly wonders if he had just acted a little quicker.. he still gets nightmares from the case, and there’ll be little things that remind him of it and it just immediately brings him back. so he’s trying to move on from all that. but not properly cause what is emotional intelligence ? idk

personality

— a very closed off and private person. he’s curt and gets to the point, which can come across as rude sometimes.. put he just doesn’t have a lot of patience for dilly-dallying i guess gjdfnk

— very loyal and caring ! once you’ve demolished those stupid walls of his, literally has one of the biggest, softest hearts ever. will over-dedicate himself to people and things that he cares very deeply about. thank god he never got married.

— he knows that he has a tendency to overly-invest himself in others, which is why he often tries to keep others at a distance.

— erm can lean on being self-righteous... so yeah that can be pretty annoying. has this notion that like .. everything rests on his shoulders and is responsible for everyone.

— as jin perfectly summed up “ would die for you but won’t hug you ”

— jesus this is so basic and awful but... i am very sleepy and my brain is drawing a blank right now. hopefully !! you get the gist !! and i’ll be able to flesh him out some more through plotting <3

wanted connections

give this man some fucking friends please

the first person he met in misty hollow ? maybe they showed him around !

if anyone is from boston ... hellauw.. lets do smth with that

drinking buddies !! someone that ( when he’s had enough drinks ) opens up to !

younger muses ... listen.. he’ll be your dad / big bro figure. literally anyone under the age of 40 he sees as a kid that must be protected at all costs ( from their own stupidity, but that part he keeps to himself )

co-workers !!! 

uhh i wanna say casual relationships but .. daniel’s not really inclined towards that, this would have to be like .. a one-off occurrence after some poor judgement and probably lots of alcohol 

someone that just .. bugs the living crap out of him.. pls.. if ur muse is the complete opposite of daniel.. this wld be perfect

god this is difficult because the man is literally.. socially inept .. like might be a robot but ! i’m more than open to brainstorming. so please, feel free to throw anything my way !! and if we can’t figure something out between these two, we can just throw them at each other in a random thread and see what happens !!

[kythen]

Haikyuu!! - Sweet Dream

Pairing: Kurodai

Summary: Kurodai Week 2019 Day 1: Secrets / Confessions

Omegaverse AU. Kuroo protects a vulnerable Daichi from a predatory alpha. (Kuroo has thoughts on the matter and Daichi doesn’t know about them.)

Prequel to “Touch You Not”.

Also found here on AO3.

Word count: 2,733

Kuroo is glad that he snuck his way into the throng of Literature teachers as soon as the faculty members had started mingling about because Daichi has obviously drunk more than he could handle and Kuroo is pretty sure that he is dozing off in his seat. Daichi has been exhausted lately—all of them have, with the examinations to prepare for—but the Literature department had had the worst of it. They had been severely understaffed after one of the teachers went on maternity leave and another resigned abruptly, and Kuroo knows that Daichi had taken it upon himself to pick up the slack. Thankfully, volleyball club activities had been put on hold for the examination period or Kuroo knows that Daichi would have run himself into the ground trying to stay on top of everything.

Kuroo had grabbed a seat beside Daichi as soon as it had been vacated and he scoots closer to Daichi, trying to gauge if he can wrestle the beer mug out of Daichi's hand or if he has a death grip on it. This close, he can smell Daichi's distinctive forest-green scent wafting off him, mingling with the reek of alcohol. Daichi is warm, his face flushed a healthy red, and even though Kuroo isn't touching him, Daichi's heat radiates off him and onto the parts of Kuroo closest to him, caressing his thigh and arm. Daichi teeters in his seat, looking like he is about to fall over to Kuroo's side at any moment, and Kuroo braces himself to catch him.  

As a rule, Kuroo doesn't let himself touch Daichi at all, if he can help it. His grandmother had taught him about alphas and omegas and he knows how easily scents transfer over with a single touch. Every time Daichi touches him, he leaves a warm spot of his scent lingering on Kuroo, the smallest little hint of him, and it just about drives Kuroo crazy with how conscious he is of it. He wants to drink in Daichi's scent by the mouthful, by the lungful, until he is drowning in it. He wants Daichi's scent all over him and his scent all over Daichi, and the strength of his desires scares him so much that he can't bring himself to touch Daichi at all, even in casual familiarity, after all their years of friendship.

Kuroo wants to do this the proper way. He never wants to hurt Daichi or ruin his chances with other alphas if Daichi has someone else in mind that isn't Kuroo. This means no scent-marking, like what some more liberally-minded alphas and omegas do to show interest in a potential partner. He would never touch Daichi unless Daichi asked him to and until the day that Daichi tells him of his own volition that he wants Kuroo, Kuroo is going to keep all his desires buried deep down within himself.

Daichi sways in his seat and finally leans over to Kuroo's side, resting his cheek on Kuroo's shoulder and fully giving in to sleep. He looks comfortable enough, even though Kuroo's shoulder isn't the softest of pillows, and Kuroo smiles as he looks at Daichi cuddling up to him. He is so cute like this, his mouth open as he snores silently, and Kuroo's heart swells with pure affection for him. There is a bit of guilt there too because Daichi is pressed so close to him that Kuroo starts to smell their scents mingling, but it isn't as if he can just prop Daichi up in a corner and leave him by himself.

The stench of another alpha intrudes into their space and Kuroo's hackles rise instinctively as he looks up sharply. An alpha seats himself on Daichi's other side, with an unpleasantly predatory gleam in his eye as he looks at Daichi. Kuroo recognises him from Daichi's department, an oily sort of alpha who lays his eyes on every omega who crosses his path. Kuroo has seen the way he looks at Daichi, his eyes lingering far too long on Daichi's backside and the exposed, unmarked nape of his neck, and he doesn't like it. He doesn't like it at all.

"He's kind of cute like this, isn't he? All soft and pliant against you," the alpha remarks, glancing over at Kuroo meaningfully as if sharing some in-joke between alphas. Kuroo knows what he is implying and he bristles. "I'll tell you what, since you seem so stiff around him, I'll do you a favour and take him off your hands."

The alpha reaches out towards Daichi, a hand about to settle casually on Daichi's unprotected nape, and something in Kuroo snaps.

Kuroo grabs the alpha's offending hand, gripping it so tightly that he can feel bones grate under his fingers. He knows for sure that he is stronger than the other alpha, who looks like he has never seen the inside of a gym in his life, and he would gladly snap the alpha's fingers if he were to even try to touch Daichi again. He snarls at the alpha, making sure he knows it. "Don't touch him."

The other alpha hisses in pain and tries to shake off Kuroo's hand unsuccessfully until Kuroo lets him go. His scent grows sulky and bitter with resentment as he withdraws his hand, but he doesn't leave despite the sheer "fuck off" vibes that Kuroo radiates with both his scent and his presence. Instead, in a show of bravado, or plain stupidity, he actually tries to talk back to Kuroo.

"Why?" the other alpha sneers. "You're too much of a coward to touch him when he's always within arm's reach of you so why don't you let other alphas have a shot at him? You know how omegas are, always desperate for an alpha. He’d be all over you if you let him."

"Obviously, no one's taught you to be a decent human being and it baffles me how you even became a teacher when you're lacking in fundamentals like that." Kuroo says icily, feeling cold even though Daichi is right next to him, radiating warmth like a furnace.

The alpha rolls his eyes. "Don't pretend you're so above it all. You want him too, don't you? You're an alpha just like me and you're with him all the time. It would take a blind beta to see how much you want to fuck him senseless. Or," the alpha's lip curls as he eyes Kuroo mockingly, "have you already done it?"

Blind rage consumes Kuroo whole and he barely thinks about what he is doing as he lunges for the alpha's throat. Plates fly from the table as the alpha scrambles back and only Daichi's weight on Kuroo, his sleepy head on his shoulder grounding him, keeps Kuroo from standing up to pursue the alpha as he makes a break for it. There are eyes on them now, interested whispers and murmurs breaking out around the tables closest to him, and Kuroo glares at the alpha as he disappears from sight around a paper door. If he so much as sees his shadow anywhere near Daichi in school, Kuroo swears that he is going to actually break his fingers this time.

In his peripheral vision, Kuroo can see worried and wary looks being thrown his way. Kuroo is baring his teeth, a growl building in his throat, and his alpha pheromones are probably making all the alphas and omegas in the room very uncomfortable. Kuroo hardly lets himself get this angry or lets his alpha instincts take over like this and he feels like a bundle of raw nerves, ready to snap at the next person who dares approach Daichi again. It isn't like him.

Kuroo breathes in deeply. He smells Daichi's warm, comforting scent next to him, his favourite in all of the world. He looks down at Daichi, his eyes tracing every curve and contour of his dear face, and the blind instinctual rage that had seized him loosens its hold on him a little. He must smell horrible to Daichi now, all burnt coffee and anger, and Kuroo takes several calming breaths, trying to tone down his scent. It is a miracle that Daichi hadn't woken up at all during the confrontation, testament to how exhausted he must be—or how comfortable he feels with Kuroo, a small part of Kuroo's brain hopes. Kuroo is glad that he didn't wake up. Omegas face enough crap about their designation in a world full of alphas like the one he just chased off and he doesn't want Daichi to hear all the vile things the alpha had been implying about him.

As his anger simmers down, Kuroo feels sick. His skin tingles disconcertingly, as if he had bathed in slime or grease, something viscous, poisonous, and unwanted. He knows the views that some alphas have of omegas and he has heard of alpha attacks on omegas before. To have an alpha direct all of that vileness towards Daichi makes Kuroo furious—and scares him too at the same time.

Kuroo knows that Daichi can take care of himself, but there is also a gnawing fear within him that Daichi will let himself be caught vulnerable at a time when he can't help it. There are bad alphas in this world, the kind that his grandmother had instructed him fiercely to never become, who think that they own the world just because they were born as alphas. They think that they own omegas because of how their bodies are built, because of instincts and compatibility, and they never think to ask omegas what they want before they take and take.

All it takes is a simple loss of control for Kuroo to become someone like that to Daichi and every moment Kuroo spends with Daichi, it scares him that he could hurt him just like any other alpha out there.

"Kuroo," a voice says from across the table and Kuroo looks up to see his colleague, a sensible-minded beta who is his neighbour in the teachers' office. Her expression is soft and sympathetic as she tells him, "We're cleaning up and getting everyone home. Do you want to see Sawamura home?"

Kuroo opens his mouth to decline, to tell her to assign another omega or a beta to see Daichi home safely. But when he looks down at Daichi again, sleeping peacefully against his shoulder, he shuts his mouth. Nobody else in this room knows Daichi better than Kuroo, knows where his home is, where he puts his keys, how he likes his shoes arranged, and Kuroo wouldn't trust Daichi with anyone but himself, despite all his misgivings about himself.

"Yeah, I'll get him home," Kuroo tells her softly.

The beta nods and goes away to check on their other colleagues who might need help getting home. After the bit of commotion between Kuroo and the other alpha, the party seems to be winding down, faculty members checking on their friends and colleagues and milling out of the room in twos or threes.

Against his shoulder, Daichi shifts and Kuroo prepares to pull away in case Daichi wakes up to find himself pressed this close to Kuroo. But instead of waking up, Daichi burrows himself deeper against Kuroo's side, burying his nose into Kuroo's shoulder and letting go of his beer mug to hug Kuroo's arm. Daichi's breath tickles Kuroo's skin through his shirt and he shivers, equal parts embarrassed and affectionate. He wishes they could stay like this forever, but he doesn't want to take advantage of Daichi's unconsciousness to savour their closeness.

Sighing softly, Kuroo pulls out his phone and calls for a cab. "Let's get you home, Daichi."

---

Daichi wakes up with a throbbing head and a mouth that tastes fuzzy, like he swallowed a cotton ball in his sleep, and he groans, rolling over in his bed. Sunlight trickles through a crack in his curtains, signalling the arrival of morning, or afternoon—Daichi has no idea. All he remembers is the faculty party to celebrate the end of the examinations, eating and chatting with his colleagues around his table, and drinking, so much drinking. Why did he even drink so much in the first place?

He doesn't remember coming home, even though he is clearly back in his own bed, and Daichi sniffs, trying to pick up on scents, a hint of who had brought him back home last night. His room smells surprisingly clean and fresh, devoid of any particular scents but his, and so do his bedsheets. His clothes reek of alcohol and Daichi makes a face as he pulls his collar up to his nose. But somewhere under it all, Daichi thinks he makes out the faintest whiff of coffee and chocolate and his face goes warm with the realisation.

Kuroo. Of course, only Kuroo knows where he stays and puts his keys. Anyone else would have put him up at a business hotel and left him to deal with the charges.

Daichi rolls over on his back and throws a forearm over his eyes to block out the sunlight. He must have inconvenienced Kuroo. The alpha doesn't like touching him, always shying away from Daichi when he comes close to him, so getting him home must have been a monumental effort. Daichi should apologise to him.

Now that Daichi knows it is there, he can't stop picking up on the faint traces of coffee and chocolate on his clothes, sporadic, as if the alpha had avoided touching him directly as much as possible. Maybe he had a beta to help him manoeuvre Daichi back home and into his bed because Daichi can't imagine Kuroo getting him home himself when his scent had rubbed off so little on him.

Daichi curls up on his side and reaches for his pillow, hugging it to his chest and burying his face in its plushness. He must have had a good dream last night because all he remembers is Kuroo, his body warm and solid against Daichi's, wrapping him up in his familiar, protective scent, which had made Daichi feel safe and comfortable. Kuroo hadn't moved away when Daichi had come closer to him and Daichi remembers being cradled to Kuroo's chest, with strong arms under his body carrying him up to his apartment. He remembers how gently Kuroo had treated him when he had laid him down in his bed, taking off his shoes one at a time, then bundling Daichi up in his blanket.

Daichi had wanted Kuroo to stay with him, reaching for him and murmuring his name even as the alpha moved away, but given the absence of Kuroo's scent from Daichi's clothes, bed, and even his room itself, the alpha had barely been there at all. It must have had been nothing more than a sweet dream born from Daichi's desires.

Longing thrums in Daichi's chest, an old song he is now used to, and Daichi fights down the ache in his heart. He just wants Kuroo to touch him, without acting like it would be the worst thing in the world for Daichi to so much as brush against his shoulder. He is tired of looking at Kuroo and seeing everything good and pure and bright about him, only to be denied all of that when Kuroo purposely keeps out of reach from him every single time. He wants to be held close and treasured, to be loved and wanted by the one person he loves the most.

He just wishes he could tell Kuroo all that he feels for him and that the alpha would stay and listen to him without pushing him away like he always does.

[tentoriwrites]

Learning Curve: Episode Five

The Fox and the Candy @that-otome-potato

A group of affluent young men form a high school gang. Their goal is to bring peace to all the rival school gangs in their area. When an out of place girl at school threatens the peace and gains their attention, everything changes.

Episode Four

“You.” A sharp voice full of disgust caught her off guard as she walked down the hall. Assuming it was another insult to be slung her way she kept walking. Someone kept trying to get her attention, but their tone of voice simply pushed her on.

“Insufferable dullard! Didn’t anyone teach you manners?!” She was forced to stop when someone grabbed her arm.

“You’re… Mitsunari, right? Hideyoshi’s friend?” She was a little taken aback by his chasing after her when they hadn’t said a single word to each other after they exchanged introductions the first time. His red-faced irritation certainly didn’t help the awkwardness she felt either.

“At the very least you have the courtesy of remembering someone’s name when they give it to you.” He gave her a cross look as he dropped her arm.

“Maybe if you had used my name I would have known you were trying to get my attention.”

His face twisted momentarily.

“You forgot my name, didn’t you?”

“I don’t have time to remember the name of every bean taste headed simpleton I meet.” His terse reply left her feeling thoroughly done with the encounter.

“Right. Well have a great rest of the day!”

“Wait!” Flustered he grabbed her arm again. “As much as it pains me to admit this, I need your help.” His voice was so quiet at the end she almost didn’t catch it.

“Really? But I thought you were that student who skipped a few grades. I really doubt there’s much I can do for you…” She didn’t think it was possible for his face to look anymore irritated, yet he managed to surprise her.

“Hideyoshi is a fan of a particular kind of candy. You’re going to show me how to make it. Why else would I be asking you, manju brains.”

That last bit instantly turned her off.

“First of all, I work in a restaurant, not a candy shop. Second of all, just because you’re freakishly smart doesn’t mean I’m stupid.” She yanked her arm free and started walking away. She stopped when she realized he was following her. “What now?”

“You’re going to the Home Economics room, are you not?”

“No.”

His face went from stoic to twisted. “Why not?”

“It’s almost time for my history class.”

“Of course. Then I will meet you at that silly restaurant after school.”

“Why.”

“So you can show me how to make that candy of course. Truly, you must have manju for brains if you require me to spell everything out for you.”

“How about a deal?” She took a moment to compose herself before continuing. “If you learn to ask for help properly, I’ll help you if I can.”

“I have asked you properly.” It was a completely deadpan response.

“If I had to describe how you asked me in one word it would be rude.” Without any further explanation, she walked away.

Determined not to let the sour blueberry ruin her day, she put the whole encounter behind her. That is until he really did show up outside the restaurant that afternoon. But this time he was accompanied by a blond, a red-head, and one thoroughly over the world and everyone in it looking young man. She recognized the uniforms immediately. They went to the high school she would have gone to normally.

Mitsunari prevaricated by the door until the blond gave him a friendly nudge forward. When that didn’t work, the green haired boy opened the door and the red-head shoved him through. Before he could protest, the blond and red head took off running while the green haired young man followed slowly behind shaking his head and mumbling.

“Welcome to our restaurant! Table for one?” She cheerfully carried on as if she had no idea he could possibly have any other motivation for being there. It was a conscious effort to drive home what she said earlier.

His face twisted up and he grabbed the strap on his bag tighter. He started to spew an insult but it died so abruptly his whole body flinched. It was almost as if the words were a car crashing into an invisible wall inside him.

He thrust out a small, rectangular package and dropped it on the hostess counter. “I’ve been told giving a gift is customary to prove the sincerity of an apology.” He gave that sullen explanation as she stared at the package.

She didn’t expect a verbal apology. If her earlier encounters with Mitsunari taught her nothing, it was that he expected people to just understand. That said she plunked a jar of amber colored candies on the counter and looked at him expectantly. When his face lapsed into momentary confusion her smile widened a fraction.

“Must I explain everything to you, Mr. Mustybook?” She inched the jar forward. “I can’t show you how to make them today so these are for you to taste test your own.” She tapped the top of the jar with a neatly folded piece of paper.

“How did you…”

“I asked him a while ago. Then I taught myself how to make them.”

“Why would a vile succubus like you have need of such information?” He suddenly turned hostile.

“So I could have everyone’s favorite foods ready when they stop by.” She broke into a cheesy grin. “A little monkey told me you adore these!” She pulled a to go box out and made a flourish of opening it to reveal a pile of manju.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He scoffed and looked away.

“Is that so? What a shame. I guess I’ll just have to eat them…”

“I never said I wouldn’t eat them!” He grabbed the box and yanked it protectively against his chest. Then he gave her a piercing look as he reached for the jar and recipe. “Call Hideyoshi a monkey again and I’ll kill you.”

She watched him back out the door slowly. All the while, he eyed her suspiciously. Once the door shut behind him she let out a long sigh.

“That went better than expected!”

She nearly jumped out of her skin as a friendly voice broke the silence from behind her. “How’d you get in there?!” She looked around frantically as the blond from before peered back at her.

“Your Mom let us in the backdoor.”

“You scared her, you should apologize!” The red head admonished the blond. Meanwhile, the one with green hair sat at a table in the kitchen sipping tea.

“Yeah, yeah! Sorry ‘bout that.” He eyed the box on the counter. “Gonna open that?”

“No, I have to work now.” She dodged the question namely because she was petrified of what kind of gift someone like Mitsunari would have gotten her.

“Say you lot, if you’re going to be here a while, you should have a seat and eat!” Her Mom spared her from them pressing the issue. “You should have told me you had friends coming over.” Her Mom gave her a teasing look. “Why Kiyomasa here was just telling me about the city wide fitness competition coming up in a few weeks!”

 The next day she wandered into the library only to find Mitsunari sitting alone surrounded by piles of books. Closer inspection revealed they were all about candy making. “Did you try to make the candies then?” Though he pretended not to hear her, she noted a slight furrow in his brow.

“Did something go wrong then?” She was starting to feel bad for suggesting he try to do it on his own. Admittedly, candy making was one of the hardest things she learned.

“I’m sorry.” She slid another box of manju across the table to him. “It was mean of me to expect you to be able to do it on your own without some instruction first. I guess I just took for granted that you must be good at everything since you skipped some grades.” She sat down across from him. “It’s only natural that you can’t be amazing at everything all the time. If you’ll stop by the restaurant tonight, I’ll have time to make it up to you. If you’ll let me that is.”

She decided to leave when he didn’t answer her. Still she gave him one last look and noticed he had a manju in hand.

 The evening, she hovered in the kitchen, sitting at one of the out of the way counters doing homework. It would have been less distracting to study in their apartment upstairs, but she was waiting. She made a promise after all. She sat there jotting some notes out of her textbook with the pen Mitsunari had given her. It was covered in little foxes chasing manju.

“As I suspected. A higher quality pen has greatly increased the readability of your notes.” His blue tinted hair filled part of her field of view as he inspected her notes.

“Is that the real reason why you gave me a pen?” She grinned a little at the thought of him needing a practical excuse.

He scowled deeply and looked away. Perhaps to hide the blush on his cheeks. Not like she could be sure if it was an actual blush or him just being plain angry. “Are you going to show me how to make Hideyoshi’s candies or not?”

“A promise is a promise!”

Episode Six: Allies and Enemies

[ellanainthetardis]

First day in Twelve... How is that going to go?

{ff] or [ao3]

Chapter 50 : A Little Help

Haymitch started pacing as soon as the train slowed down from its high speed to an almost imperceptible swaying that meant they were approaching a District. Harwyn, the new escort and Effie were still sitting at the dinner table, with Effie talking loud and pretending hard there was nothing odd to his behavior.

Alys kept tossing him weird looks but he figured the girl should get used to victors’ moods and fast. He didn’t care much what she thought.

He kept glancing through the window, glancing but not quite looking because he didn’t want to see the familiar landmarks. His stomach was churning and his heart was regularly missing a beat and then racing to catch up. He barely listened to Effie’s instructions about how they weren’t restricted to the train but shouldn’t wander too far in case they got lost – the stylist expressed no interest in leaving the train before the designated time the next morning and the new escort… Well, she could take care of herself or die for all he cared.

The moment the train finally stopped, Haymitch was at the door, his shaking fingers fumbling with the handle, suddenly desperate for fresh air. He grew frustrated with the train’s resistance before long and, in the end, it was Effie who released the catch, her lips pursed in disapproval as she handed him his brand new navy blue coat.

She was wearing her own polar monstrosity so he supposed that meant she was coming with him.

Truth be told, he hadn’t been planning on going anywhere until he had to. He had thought they might waste the afternoon away in her compartment and pretend really hard the rest of the world didn’t exist – a game they more than excelled at.

But now that he was there…

He impatiently hopped off the step and onto the platform, looking around the station, not sure if he was grateful or disappointed to find it empty.

“A little help.” Effie requested after clearing her throat.

He automatically outstretched his hand to help her down, shocked by the icy wind. It seemed six months of controlled weather was enough to make him forget how sharp winter was everywhere else. Snow was piling here and there in half-melt puddles, it covered the trees and the station’s roof… A path had been cleared for their visit but the whole District must have been covered under its blanket, he figured.

“I wanna walk around.” he said, not quite sure why.

“Of course.” she agreed easily. “But we do need to go see Peeta at some point, darling.”

His stomach churned once more at that prospect but he gave her a sharp nod. He hadn’t talked to the boy in months and he wasn’t sure how their reunion would go. He knew he was failing the girl twice by keeping Peeta at arm’s length but…

Effie’s hand slipped in his and he took a deep breath. It was so cold it burned his lungs. It also felt cleansing somehow.

They had barely walked out of the station when she let go of his fingers to grab his arm, having problems staying upright between the slippery path and her heels. He had been right. Snow was everywhere, a deep coat that would have reached knee-length if it hadn’t been pushed to the side of the main road.

His throat closed when he spotted Undersee almost running up the path toward them, obviously out of breath.

“Miss Trinket! Haymitch!” the man exclaimed with some apprehension. “I’m so sorry for being late! I wanted to welcome you properly – you know how happy we always are to receive Capitol guests, Miss Trinket – but there were some problems at the Peacekeeper station and…”

“It is quite alright, Mayor Undersee, I assure you.” Effie grinned, stepping in when it became clear Haymitch wouldn’t talk.

She kept up most of the conversation, asking about the man’s family, enquiring about the District in a perfect demonstration of that small talk she was always so good at. Undersee kept shooting him odd looks but Haymitch simply couldn’t bring himself to care.

It was the smell, he decided. The smell of fresh snow and of coal dust dancing in the air, the smell of pine in the distance and the acrid one of turf coming out the Seam’s chimneys… It smelt like home.

And it smelt a bit like the arena.

And it was difficult to focus on Effie’s hand tucked in the crook of his elbow or the one coiled around his forearm. It was difficult to listen to the regular rhythm of her voice.

It was Chaff’s voice he heard. So clear he could have sworn his best friend was right next to him, telling him not to be stupid.

He blinked and the illusion was gone. He awkwardly shifted his weight on his feet and the mayor finally took a hint, stepping aside to let them pass, stating again that he was at Effie’s entire disposal. There was fear in his voice, not respect or deference but fear. Haymitch wondered if she noticed but if she did, she didn’t say. Maybe she was used to it.

They walked slowly. There weren’t many people around, everyone would be at the mines or at school and the few who had other jobs didn’t make a habit of lingering in the streets. The people who crossed their paths gave them a double take and then hurried away.

It occurred to Haymitch they weren’t just afraid of Effie or of her Capitol status.

It was him they were fleeing from. The victor who had turned on them, who had renounced them, who had rejected them… He had chosen the Capitol by staying in the city, by going public with Effie… He was probably a traitor to them now.

It didn’t hurt as much as it should have. They couldn’t understand how it was. They couldn’t understand what it felt like to hold someone you loved as they died by your hand. They couldn’t understand what it was to find solace in the arms of your so-called enemy. Effie had never been the enemy. Never. She had only been their tool if even that.  

The town was familiar and foreign at the same time. It hadn’t felt that way when he had come back the first time. It had felt like home. It had felt like freedom. Somehow.

They passed in front of the bakery that didn’t seem to see many customers, heard Peeta’s mother screaming at someone for slacking on the job… Neither of them suggested they stopped.

Effie was following his lead, her blue eyes looked around with curiosity – and pity – only to regularly dart to his face. She was worried, he could tell.

It was only when they reached the Square that he realized she was right to be.

The whipping pole stood right in the middle, a little as if Twelve was flipping them the finger, a group of Peacekeepers was mingling around it, their hands on their guns. There was fresh blood on the snow, a messy trail leading to the Justice Building as if a body had been dragged away in a hurry…

Pain flared in his back and it felt like he was tied up there again, leather biting his skin, the hum of the crowd around him… He closed his eyes, took a deep breath.  

Katniss’ shouts were ringing in his ears, distant but oh so clear… “No! You can’t! Let me go! Let me go!”

“Abernathy.” a voice called behind them, neither friendly nor hostile.

He whirled around, pushing Effie behind him, his hand flying to his belt only to remember too late that he wasn’t armed anymore. Thread seemed almost amused by his behavior and Haymitch stretched his arms to make himself the target, to protect the kids… No… Not the kids. Effie. His mind wasn’t clear on where he was. His back was on fire and he couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t.

“Didn’t know you had it in you.” the Head Peacekeeper said in that bored tone of his. “Was betting on Everdeen myself. The girl had guts. Not much brains though.”

He took a step forward with a growl, his hands bundling into fists. He wasn’t sure what he would have done if Effie hadn’t ducked under his arm and stood in front of him, a hand firmly planted on his chest, glaring at the man.

“That is quite enough fond recollections, I believe.” she hissed. “Unless you have anything specific to say to us, I would thank you to leave us alone, Head Peacekeeper. We have our own security squad and do not require your assistance.”

Their own Peacekeepers squad had remained on the train though. It was a far cry from the previous year when the soldiers had followed them down to the restrooms every time they had stopped in a District. He wasn’t sure if that meant the Capitol didn’t care if anything happened to them or if Snow was that confident Haymitch would never dabble in anything rebellious again.

But he had kneeled and begged, hadn’t he?

He had kneeled and begged for his wife’s life and he would never endanger her again. He had learned his lesson. And Snow knew him too well not to know that.

“Miss.” Thread nodded once. “Just wanted to make sure you remember the rules apply to everyone around here. No exception, victor or not. Be on your best behavior while you’re in my District, Abernathy. I will be watching.”

He opened his mouth to tell him to fuck off. Purely and simply. No more afraid of that man than he would have been of an ant. Who was he, that Peacekeeper? What was he going to do? Tie him up and whip him raw again? What was that compared to being sent to an arena and being forced to watch his friends die – when he didn’t have to kill them himself? Thread was pathetic. A bully. And Haymitch would have gladly taught him that lesson with his fists if Effie hadn’t huffed.

Suddenly, she seemed to be standing even taller, all ruffled feathers like a goose about to attack. Her chin jutted high in the air, her eyes hardened and there was not a shiver of fear in her when she marched on the Peacekeeper and sneered at him.

“Do you figure your… rules apply to me?” she asked in her sweetest tone. There was a hard edge underneath though and the Head Peacekeeper was too much of a soldier not to notice. He stayed silent, aware he couldn’t quite answer that in the way he wanted to and Haymitch watched, a little amused and a lot wary, when she poked the man in the chest. “Well?”

“Effie…” he warned. “Doesn’t matter. Come on, let’s go.”

It did matter but…

“You do not seem so eloquent right now.” Effie went on, dropping the charming cheerful act. She was furious, he realized. “Do you know why? It is because I am not afraid of you. You cannot touch me. That is, after all, what your precious rules state, isn’t it? Touch a Capitol citizen and lose your tongue. At best.”

“Peacekeepers are here to make sure there is order.” Thread retorted, sneering back. “If you disturb the order…”

“Not only I am an escort, I am also one of the most known and loved woman in the Capitol if not Panem.” she cut him off. “Do you know what it means? It means I can get away with a lot and I do not think anyone important will care about what a pathetic Peacekeeper in the most backend District Panem has to boost has to say against me. Touch me and you lose your tongue if not your life. How regretful for you because I happen to have a bone to pick with you.”

“Effie.” Haymitch snapped, taking a step closer, grabbing her arm. “It’s not worth it…”

“Oh, it is very much worth it, actually.” she replied without even a glance for him. “Was he the one who used a whip on you?”

“I don’t need you to wash my honor or some shit.” he spat, tugging on her arm but she stubbornly stood her ground, very much in the Peacekeeper’s face. “For fuck’s sake! Trinket.”

“No matter.” she muttered. “He is most certainly the one who prevented Katniss from saying goodbye to her family.”

He saw it happen as if in slow motion and he couldn’t stop it, could barely tighten his grip on her left arm. The punch echoed loudly in the mostly deserted square with the sickening crack of broken bone. The group of Peacekeepers in the distance suddenly looked alert but none of them approached.

Effie, her blinding pink wig, her fur coat and her bright blue shiny heeled boots were too obviously Capitol. It might have been a different story in the city but here Capitols were all-powerful. Nobody would have dared touch one, not even a Peacekeeper.

Blood trickled from Thread’s broken nose. The man was livid, he took one step toward Effie but Haymitch tugged her back harder, trapping her against his chest, ready to shield her. He couldn’t raise a hand on a Peacekeeper without serious consequences – although he suspected that Snow wouldn’t be happy about anyone beating him bloody right before the Tour, it wouldn’t exactly be in the Capitol’s interest – but that didn’t mean he couldn’t protect her. And that didn’t mean he would let it stop him from fighting back.

“Touch her and you’re dead.” Haymitch snarled.

“He won’t risk it.” Effie snapped. “He is beneath me and he knows it.” She gave the man a loathing once over, apparently satisfied with the way he was gingerly touching his nose. “Hurt someone I love again and a broken bone will be the last of your worry. I can be extremely dedicated when I badly want something and right now I think I badly want you fired and forced to work in those mines.” She shrugged off Haymitch’s embrace to grab his arm once more. “Let’s go now, darling. I doubt there is anything else of interest to see here.”

Haymitch was torn between being furious and being aroused.

They were three streets away when he decided lust was winning the battle. He pushed her in a narrow alley, pinned her to the wall and pressed his body hard against hers. She responded to his kiss with just as much violence as he put in it. Fingers roamed on each other, trying to find their way under clothes, to cop a feel…

He bumped his hand against hers as they struggled to get her coat and dress out of the way so he could lift her up and…

She cried out in pain and his thoughts switched tracks very quickly. He stopped trying to get under her skirt to cradle her right hand in his, pulling off her glove with his teeth to inspect the damage. Why had she gone for a punch when she didn’t know how to do that? She had a mean slap, she should have gone for that. He pursed his lips at her with annoyance, brushing his fingers on the bruised knuckles and then forcing her thumb to rotate a few times. That brought tears to her eyes.

“You’re lucky you didn’t break your hand.” he grumbled, scooping up a handful of snow to apply it on the injury.

“He deserved it.” she pouted. “He hurt you. And Katniss.”

“That was reckless.” he rebuked. “And stupid. He could have grabbed you. He could still grab you. Put you in jail, call the city…”

“He won’t do anything to me. He is a coward, a nobody.” she scoffed. “I was the only one who could do this. He would certainly have hurt you if you had tried and you were dying to. I could tell.”

He shook his head at her, angry at her foolishness. “That guy doesn’t matter now.”

“He hurt you.” she insisted.

“It was a long time ago.” he shrugged. Almost a year now. It felt like a lifetime away. Another life.

“It left scars.” she hissed.

“Yeah, well, losing you would kill me… You do that shit again, don’t bother looking for me.” he warned, letting go of her to storm out of the alley.

It was a few minutes before she caught up.

The arm she looped around his was hesitant but the way she leaned into his side was not. “I apologize.”

“You’re not sorry.” he accused.

“I am not sorry I hit him, no. However I am sorry for having upset you.” she amended, and then let out a frustrated sigh, waving her left hand in the air. “It is just… He was so… Last time at the Reaping… And… He hurt you, Haymitch. And Katniss… Do you remember how upset she was about not being able to say goodbye? Do you remember how…”

“That wasn’t Thread’s doing. Nobody got to say goodbye this year.” he cut her off. Not that he was defending the man. He had it coming. But it didn’t have to come from her. “I don’t need you to fight my battles.”

She rolled her eyes. “Is this a stupid ego thing? Because the wife is not supposed to punch someone in her husband’s defense?”

He opened his mouth to tell her it was exactly that and then closed it. She looked far too smug.

“Shut up.” he ordered and then shook his head. “What if he reports it? You thought about that?”

“Even if he does, do you truly think anyone in the city will care?” she retorted. “I did not say anything anti-Capitol out there, Haymitch. I simply took care of a private business. And if someone asks me about it, I will simply say the truth: the man was horrid to me during the Reaping and expressed threats to my victor who was unable to defend himself because he was respecting the law. I will plead self-defense.”

“Sure, that’s believable.” he snorted.

“It will be my word against his and who will people believe? A respectable popular Capitol citizen or a nobody?” she dismissed without a care in the world. “Do not fret so. Nothing will happen.”

“Snow’s breathing down my neck.” he reminded her with irritation. “I put a toe out of line, you die. Forgot about that? Maybe don’t go antagonizing the people who want us dead, sweetheart.”

“It wasn’t you putting a toe out of line, it was me.” she sighed. “But I promise to never punch a Peacekeeper again, will that do?”

He wasn’t amused at all and he didn’t like her dismissive stance.

“Don’t think you’re gonna be punching anyone anymore either way.” he muttered. “I’m gonna have to wrap that thumb if you don’t want it to hurt worse. Let’s see how you deal with a bandaged hand. Pretty sure it won’t kick off a trend.”

She wrinkled her nose at him and looked down at her hand. She tested the water by moving her thumb left and right but the pain on her face was enough proof that she had, at least, learned that particular lesson.

They weren’t far from the meadow now. He wanted to take her back to the train as fast as possible, leave Twelve and its painful reminders behind, but he knew she wouldn’t agree to it until they had seen Peeta.

The old rusty metallic gates of the graveyard caught his eyes. One of them was off its hinges again and was slowly swaying in the wind with a creepy squeaky sound.

He didn’t mean to.

But it was where his feet took him.

[upsmymindwanderedagain]

Story of The Ice Wolf

PART 5

OTHER PARTS: 

PART 1    PART 2    PART 3    PART 4.1    PART 4.2    PART 6

WARNINGS: mentions of grief, torture (inflicted on reader), blood.

By the way this chapter is almost 5K.

Hey fellas! as I stated last chapter, there’s more story coming, we will see a little more of backstory of the reader and the twins. Now regarding this background, as I mentioned beforehand, in this story the twins Wanda and Pietro are not portrayed as we typically see them in other stories or even the MCU, sure they have the essence and personality (I hope) but this story is not flowers and sunshine, just have that in mind while reading. If something makes you feel uncomfortable or just something doesn’t feel right for you, send me a message and we can chat it out.

As always typos and errors are my bad, sorry.

"We will keep the details of the mission and what happened behind closed doors. The official statement is that Y/N and Bucky are on an undercover mission. We can't let the truth be known, not until we have an answer solid enough to reassure people peace of mind" Maria takes over "We will have a private ceremony..." "No" Tony interrupts Hill. "Bucky and Y/N were not that kind of believers" If you want to do one is up to you, but I'm sure that where ever they are they will laugh at us". "Stark is right, drink it off don't cry it out" Her best life counseling, even Barnes agreed on that one, May says. Everyone chuckles lightly. "Let's drink it off in their memory".

----

The pressure on your brain slowly pulls you out of the dark oblivion, your body feels trapped, something cold kisses your exposed skin, your brain begins to register the pain of your joints. A disgustingly familiar Russian voice starts to beckon you. "Ice Wolf, open your eyes asset". "Ice Wolf" There's no third call. A surge of electrical discharge shakes you to the core, making you open your eyes as you scream in agony. As your body rides the aftershocks, a hand grips forcibly your hair lifting your head. "Captain is good to have you again on our ranks" he says in Russian. You sneer a dry "Fuck you Yuri". His open hand slaps you hard and unforgivingly, making you spit blood as your face is turned to the right "That's no way of talking to your handler asset". Your voice is a gruff hiss "You are not my handler sergeant" you are quick to spit blood and drool straight to his face. You try to launch yourself at him, but you are clasped to a metal wall, the wall mounted handcuffs give you no space to move, you trash with all your strength but the burn in your veins tells you that is in vain, the flesh in your joints and neck end up raw and bleeding. He only stares blankly at your before letting out a mocking boisterous laugh "I want you to meet your new handler and team mates before we make you forget them" he calls them to come in. A tall bulky Russian man comes in followed by two girls, one has dark mist swirling around her hands her face is stern and uninterested, the second one has a smirk on her face and archangel wings (Anika?). "Captain Ice Wolf a 'honor' seeing you again" he says sarcasm heavy on his voice. "Go to hell Salarov" you voice is harsh and hateful. "Allow us to greet you properly" he lifts a syringe full of a nerve wrecking familiar dark liquid, he jabs the needle in your neck, the dark liquid starts making your veins feel even more on fire, you don't scream instead you set your jaw and groan in pain, the veins and tendons on your neck bulge under the strain. When the initial burn starts to wear off you notice the sinister smile on the men faces, Yuri hands Salarov bright almost white branding iron shaped with Hydras symbol. The dark serum is awfully painful on its own, but is meant to weaken you and make every single wound unbearable while you are able to withstand deadly wounds, making it hard for you to die still there’s a breaking point in that. The Salarov juggles with the metal branding mockingly, with no warning he jabs the metal on the old scared flesh on your chest re-doing the branding, you can’t hold back this time you scream in agony, muscles tensing up in pain. ---

Six months have passed since the day Bucky and you made the ultimate sacrifice, and Wanda still can wrap her thoughts around the fact that you are no longer there.

She is on a constant limbo of sadness, bitterness and anger, she is angry at Fury for making the call, she is angry at you for doing such a stupid thing, she is bitter because the four of you saw the clues and still walked in, and she is sad, that deep hollowing sadness that not even revenge call fill up.

She is curled up in the sofa of your shared loft, she is wearing one of your leather jackets that still smell like you, she eyes at the guitar resting on the wall that one was yours, cup of tea in her hand, she knows better than get smashed in the middle of the day.

She is not fool or naive, since the first time they saw you bloodied, beaten, tumbling into the warehouse you all used to call home after their parents were killed, they realized that death was a stalking companion. They understood how possible it was that you might not come home again or even them, the sokovian streets were a mess.

That's why after a lot shouting and fighting they convinced you to let them fight too and get involved in all the not so legal things you did to get money, sure you put rules and you were taking the worst part of the burden and responsibility, but not all anymore.

Since the day they found you bloody beaten, they took you in. Their parents knew nothing about you. You said you were seven, but you looked at least two years older, you were bigger and way stronger than the other kids. The lack of your papers and the thin financial situation of they were in resulted in you not being able to go to the school (besides you got expulsed before getting in for beating down a group of kids making fun of the twins in the school yard). Wanda can't hold back her jiggle at that memory.

Instead their mama taught you everything at home, how to read, numbers, equations, you learnt English from her and Spanish from an ex-CIA neighbor, Grace she was a hacker so she taught you how mend around technology and you avidly learnt, somedays she took you outskirts to shoot but you already knew your way around weapons, she used to call you 'lil Sokovian devil' some time later she nick named you "Sokovian Ghost" due to your hacking skills and your tendency to lurk in the shadows gathering intel.

She smiles at the good memories coming to her head. You were family even before you were her lover, always taking care of them and even helping others.

While their parents were still alive, the three were trouble always on the run, you taught them how fight to defend themselves, their parents learnt that fact when the twins got suspended for kicking their bullies asses. You were so excited and proud of them that you fist bumped them in front of the director of the school, he yelled at you for encouraging them and you simply stared at him and shrug it off. Their parents couldn't hold back their laughter at you not giving fucks about it, if something the week they got suspended you taught them grappling.

When things got rough you stayed strong, even though your adoptive parents home was available after their deaths, the three of you slept most of the time in a warehouse or in Grace's place to avoid social services, she didn't mind, those were the days that you all eat better, specially you (you avoided meals to buy them treats but they didn't knew).

Tears start gathering in her eyes, they knew the risks of their lifestyle, they spent 4 years in the streets making jobs for drug dealers and informants. Later at the age of 17 you 18 behind Hydra's back the three of you took over the Sokovian illegal affairs from weapon traffic to drug dealing that's how you meet Zemo and his unit then partnering up with him, he was the official face you three were the master minds and the ones doing the extra dirty work, the streets were less messy and now it was yours.

She misses the constant presence that you were in her life, you were fiercely protective of her you even killed on spot stupid guys cat hollering at her (mostly in your Hydra days). But you also made her feel strong and confident on her own, you never down talk her or keep her from doing things and missions.

Pietro, Wanda alongside Natasha they have become ruthless and merciless in the missions, to the point of plain slaughters, resulting in awful scolding’s from the star spangled cap and lectures from Fury, Hill is in the middle, she doesn't scold them, she is more empathic but always reminds them that they are better than that.

She plainly misses you, the hard-cold facade you built around you to show the world was that, a facade a mask. Pietro and her knew the real you, the caring person that loved cuddles a fluff ball with her, you loved sneaking out just the three of you, sometimes Loki will tag along even Zrinka and Costel when they visited, you all went outskirts to make bonfires and drink off the night while playing guitars like the small rock band trio that you were. 

She misses how at her comeback from missions you always had something prepared to make her feel at home helping her wash away the mission followed by cuddles and a glass of wine, other times if she wasn't too tired or hurt you'd take her to extravagant dinners or you'll make a homemade meal, you didn't best her at cooking but you were far, far better than Pietro, he is a lost cause, even their mama recognized that when they were little.

Sometimes when she is trying to relax at the bathtub after a mission her minds tricks her, sometimes she foolishly think that you will walk in the bathroom to lift her in your arms to take her to your shared bed. Her heart breaks again when the truth seeps back in her mind.

She misses the sex because it never was plain sex, the two of you were vanilla in that aspect of your intimacy, the tough life and the scars you both have is the testimony of you not liking kinky hardcore things. You were gentle and caring with an edge of roughness is she asked you to be, but you were a dork as much as smooth, charming talker you were you always made her laugh in glee. 

She shamelessly used her powers to spice things up though, but that was as kinky as you two went, she ghostly caressed your skin with her powers, red energy dancing on your skin, shivers of pleasure trailing along the places she touched or holding off your hands with her powers as she made you come undone under her ministrations. 

You were always teasing her of how the sweetest and most innocent looking of the trio was the kinkiest dipshit, regardless you adored her always looking at her like a lovesick puppy.

She can see how much Pietro misses you, you were his sistra in every sense of the word, for him you were that immoveable force strong, confident and caring. You helped him get a hold of his powers and break barriers, go beyond his limits just like you did with her, during this process you even end up hurt but you always brushed it off telling them how someday they might save you with their powers.

Pietro was fiercely protective of both of you, but he always respected your rank and dynamic, however in the moments you faltered or just needed a break he was there to support you, and take over the lead until you were back on your feet.

He admired you, he wished that someday he could be as strong as you. They saw you being tortured in Hydra's grasp how they piece you back together with steel with no regard of your mental state or body. They went through the training with you, however Hydra's trainers always pushed you to breaking points to make you the finest weapon. Still you swallowed your revenge feelings and worked for them, never losing the soft caring side reserved only for them.

You fulfilled your promise, you got them out of Hydra to a better life, that's the life you've been having this past five plus years. Pietro always pictured you on it, he was thinking on marrying his girlfriend Zrinka but he couldn't bear the thought of you not being there, not when even their parents wouldn't be there. Wanda was his only family left, sure Zrinka and Costel are family but the bonds and the experiences you've been through together makes it impossible that someone will fill the void that your absence has left.

Wanda was always teasing you at how now that you were Avengers it was more plausible that you two would end up in jail due to your shenanigans. Pietro being the flirty shit he is, loved going to bars and strip clubs to wreak havoc and you were always with him, even she would tag along just for the fun of it and get you worked up. 

Most of the time only you and Pietro would go to street racing, she was wishing you two would end up caught up by the police so she could witness Tony and Steve making an excuse to bail you out, you never fell in jail.

Clint now more than before has been acting like a father figure for them, he is making sure that they don't do reckless things, making sure they eat properly and trying his best to cheer them up in his Clint fashion way, but is hard because not only the twins are hurting, Nat is hurting too she is closed off and distant, even when she partners up with the twins the rest of the time she keeps to herself.

Tony and Steve are still a little uneasy on how to approach the three of them, Tony is blaming himself and his ego, Steve is just lost he puts on his strong face but behind closed doors he is not better than Pietro, Bucky was his only family left, he lost the only person that know him before all this mess, he lost a brother too. Besides he respected you, even when the two of you had a rough start, he admired you just like he admires Natasha, it breaks his heart knowing that a wrong call did this much damage.

Tony, the billionaire is trying his best he even tries to cheer up Pietro buying him a new car, but the silver haired man, politely refused telling him the story of how the first car he ever had is a Dodge Challenger RT 73, you had it restored and tuned for him, three weeks later he crashed the right side during a street race. when he told you just laugh it up telling him that you bet Wanda a week until he crashed it, and you lost the bet and regarding the car it was now his problem to have it repaired, pretty much was a 'work your ass off to pay the repairs' with a pat of his back. Tony laugh wholeheartedly at the story, you indeed were something.

--

The next days (months?) are a complete blur you can hear yourself scream, other times you hear Bucky scream in agony, that's the only way you both know you are still alive. Both are being beaten to make you comply obedience (They'll need more than that). They refused to wip you both, they now know that Wanda will be able to snap you out of it. Even though you are being beaten to unconsciousness on daily basis, you learn two things, the one with the archangel wings code name is 'Dark Angel' (so original, and is indeed Anika) she can blast you with energy spheres. The other girl is called Dark Mist she can play with your mind and hurl you round with her telekinesis like a ragdoll, both of them can knock your ass out. The next time you regain consciousness you are strapped to a metal chair, Salarov and his two companions enter the lab room, he has a spider like dispositive on his hand. "Time to obey asset" there’s other two soldats that you know well, after some wrestle they forcibly shove a mouthguard on you. You are not stupid, you know what is about to happen, the scientist fiddle with the equipment setting it up, they lower the head piece in place, you try with all your strength to scape, but is in vein, Salarov only laughs at you “Do it” the scientist turns the machine on. You can feel the electricity swimming in your head, the pressure on your brain makes your sight fill with black dots, then it becomes white, the mouthguard can’t stop the agony screams and grunts, the other soldiers stand unfaced at your suffering.

They repeat the process at least a couple of times at the end your jaw is locked close like a Rottweiler, they pry out the mouthguard leaving you panting like a wounded animal. Your head feels crushed, pain is all you can register, you can hear Russian voices around you, several heartbeats (or is just yours?) you sight is blurry, but slowly it clears out. When Salarov ugly mug comes in sight you growl at him, you don’t know how you end up there, but in the back of your mind you know that Bucky is somewhere near.

The soldiers unclasp the handcuffs, but your body feels out cold, they haul you off the seat to toss you to the cold unforgiving floor. Your body is so heavy and beaten that falls like a sack. The sergeant nods at the soldats who land hard merciless kicks at your midriff, you growl and fumble in pain. After tasting a couple of boots, they forcibly make you kneel, your body hunches to the front, a dark oblivion is tempting you to surrender. The Mist traps you in place her energy makes your skin shiver in disgust. Salarov crunches before you he makes the spider like dispositive pierce your scalp, skull and the metal plate on the right side, you feel tentacles swimming beneath your skin running down your neck, a new burn runs through your veins.

(I can only hope that Bucky is dead to avoid being through this). "Status report soldat". "FUCK YOU" you venomously grunt spatting blood at him. He forcibly wipes out the blood off his face. "Increase the poison". You hiss in pain as your voice starts to falter, sight getting even blurrier. "Status report soldat" "F-FUCK YOU" your words are slurred but not less despiteful. "More" he grunts. You can’t voice a thing, your body shakes but you refuse to comply. They up the dose more, you can feel your thoughts drifting away, mind starting to blank even the pain starts to shut off. "Status report soldat" he angrily request. You voice is cold, emotionless, void of any human trait, after all the screaming in agony your voice is husky "Ready to comply" you mind is blank you don't longer feel or think, your stare is stern cold and unforgiving. "Code name" he request the glee in his voice is clear. "Ice Wolf" a kick of a boot sole your left cheek snap your face to the right, but you are unfaced staring blankly at the unknown. "Wrong, code name: asset 1. Repeat code name soldat" "Asset 1".

---

The soldats drag you to other lab room, where the doctors patch you up, before they store you, they show you some pictures requesting you to tell the names of the people framed, in the beginning you can name them all, but after awful discharges on your head you start forgetting the man with a slug smirk and dark brown eyes, the one with blue eyes an a shield, a redhead with green eyes, the man with metal arm, the one with the patch, a stern woman with blue eyes, an Asian woman with confident stance…every single one of them get lost in a void, the last ones you forget is a grey haired man with piercing blue eyes and a brunette woman with bright green eyes, they are replaced with enemies, a group call avengers they are targets to be eliminated given the order by your handler. The last thing you register is cold, is almost like a déjà vu, cold…cold until everything shuts off.

--- It's been two plus years since that mission, the avengers have taken down a several of Hydra's bases and hideouts. But despite all this effort a new Hydra unit has appeared three soldiers and two enhanced, they've been responsible of assassinations of important politicians some ex-Hydra high ranks and even done some terrorist attacks, their moves are always deadly precise and organized, the avengers have encountered them a several times.  The only intel they have is that the leader is called the Dark Tiger, his fighting style and armor like T'achalla's of course in no way as advanced as the king’s. He is always flanked by two soldiers (suspected super soldiers) they are always acting like shields to him, the intel says that this two are new advanced versions of the Ice Wolf and Winter Soldier (mocking the fallen ones with the names). The first enhanced posse’s electricity generation and telekinesis her code name Dark Mist, the other one poses archangel wings, can create energy blasts and has teletransportation, code name Dark Angel. The last members of this team are two 4’0 tall black wolves, one of them has bionic front limbs with long sharp claws the second one has bionic back limbs and bionic front paws they are always close to the Dark Wolf and the Dark Soldier. --- [Avengers Compound]

The avengers are gathered in the kitchen and dining table, some of them eating others talking. Wanda is currently talking with Natasha. As the news are playing in the background. *Breaking news, the truth about S.H.I.E.L.D's last failure*. The avengers pay no mind, since the Hydra mew group showed up some TV hosts have taken as their mission to talking crap about them. *... Well Charles, guess what we have here, you know about the rumors of the Wolf and the Winter Soldier, the Avengers said that the 'former' Hydra soldiers are on an undercover mission. Well unless this mission involves going to hell with no ticket back..."  Everyone halted what they were doing. Steve turns up the volume. Wanda's eyes turn red in anger while Natasha schools her features. *An anonymous source has leaked footage of a carnage almost two years ago...* The video shows footage of the fight *As you all can see the almighty heroes and S.H.I.E.L.D agents had their asses busted, but hold on, the best part is coming...* All the avengers stop what they are doing to look the news, they make their way to living space. "...The Wolf and the Winter Soldier were the chosen bait, they stayed back and end up blown to pieces, the last thing you see is Thor and Vision recovering some of their weapons and their masks all the items bloodied and beaten. And we are not done yet, this anonymous source was kind enough to reveal that our ‘beloved’ Wolf was in no way a hero, she was a high ranked Hydra member, high in the command chain, Y/N was a captain known as the Ice Wolf. Responsible for this* A large file package is shown. *She did all this with no brain washing or mind control, she was a mercenary, a cold blood mons...* the sound is turn off. Nat tries to calm down Wanda who right now is livid and crying. Pietro goes to them to engulf them on a big protective hug, his voice is full of anger “I’ll be right back, I’m going to kill him”, when he tries to rush out of the door Clint halts him with a hand on his chest “Hold your horses speedster, think before you do” Pietro groans in annoyance and goes back to his twin holding her close and kissing the crown of her head. "F.R.I.D.A.Y trace the source and shut down the news broadcast, erase everything available on the red". Rushing heel clicks can be hear nearing, Pepper comes running "Tony turn off... Guys... I'm sorry". A hologram is displayed in the middle of the coffee table. *Stark we need to do damage control*. "I'm on it, F.R.I.D.A.Y is taking down everything" Tony says jaw set and voice stern. *Call a press conference, Rogers take care of that mess. Be prepared for an attack, Hydra is making a move* the dark skin man says his voice hinted in anger. --- [Hydra base] --- *Message delivered sir, the avengers are calling a press conference*. *Tiger, ready your unit, you are crashing their conference, make sure is a big play, don't kill them yet*. *Yes, sir*.

The bulky Russian man walks to the living room of the safehouse "Company we have a mis... Mist where the fuck is Angel?!".

"She is playing with her sex toys".

[Angel's room]

I can hear a female voice chatting, her voice is quite lively and lately is the only thing that's reminds me I'm alive, most of the time I just feel pain and my body moving, others I just feel an overwhelming cold, on the best days I get glimpses of what Hydra wills me to do. Never in my twelve years serving them I felt like an asset, now I'm just that, and seems that Bucky couldn't avoid this fate again.

"What ya think Bucky, should I pretend is you this time or Wolfy?" She gets close to me.

My voice is barely a broken whisper "Last time... Was Buck".

"Oh?" she tilts her head "Hey Wolfy did I lowered the poison that much?" she only jiggles.

Our bodies are slumped against the wall, handcuffs keep the arms above our heads, the ankles are shackled too, collar and chain included.

She gets close to straddle my lap and lean in to whisper in my ear "As soon as they find out about you I'll help them get you back... Now behave he is coming" she presses a button of the controller.

I feel the burn in my veins increasing, slowly my mind drifts away.

She fakes kissing your neck as the door is slammed open.

"Angel! stop fucking them, we have a mission".

She groans in annoyance "Fine" pressing another button the shackles are open.

"Soldats! Gear up" he shouts, voice full of anger. Methodically like robots, both of you get up and walk out of the room following orders.

They wip you both before heading to the mission.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, as I said buckle up and twist your undies.

I might post another chapter this week, since my holydays end this week.

PART 6