#that you're subjected to my shenanigans

[mybro-oncesaid]

"At least pretend to stop. At least pretend that my pain doesn't give you so much joy. At least pretend you're not sadistic."

[readsaboutreid]

Cast Your Bets | S.R.

summary: (Y/N) has been at the BAU for two months now and the tension between her and Spencer has been noticeable to everyone but them. The team takes bets on when they'll finally snap but (Y/N) and Spencer over hear them and some smutty shenanigans ensue.

This is smut so it's 18+, minors please dni.

spencer x bau!reader

contains: unprotected sex, creampie, masturbation (m), fingering (f receiving), non-established relationship

this has been sitting in my drafts for few months so i figured i'd finally let it see the light of day

The team were all sat on the jet after a long case, everyone off in their own little worlds. Morgan had his headphones on and had nodded off, JJ and Prentiss were playing cards, and Hotchner and Rossi were talking about the case they had just finished in hushed tones. Spencer had run out of reading material so he was just kind of sitting and staring off into space. His eyes fell to (Y/N), her brows furrowed in concentration as she read what looked to be a well-worn book, and he couldn't help the way his heart fluttered in his chest.

Ever since she had started at the BAU, Spencer had been hopelessly infatuated with her. She was intelligent, sweet, and most surprisingly she seemed to enjoy when Spencer would go off rambling about something that would usually leave Morgan rolling his eyes or Prentiss poking him and asking, "how did they make you so lifelike?" But when he was talking with (Y/N) and he would start off on a subject, she would just tilt her head and listen with a soft smile, occasionally chiming in with a question or comment, making it more than clear she was listening to every word.

She locked eyes with him and flashed him the sweetest smile and he felt his cheeks burn with a sudden heat. "Something interesting, Reid?" She chuckled, closing the book she had been reading and setting it on her lap as she turned to face him.

"I—I was just trying to see what you're reading," he lied, unconvincingly. He swallowed nervously and a small smile twitched at his lips at seeing her smile grow even wider before he looked down at his hands resting in his lap.

She held the book up for him to see the cover. Dune.

"Dune? That's one of my favorites!" He exclaimed with a wide smile.

"When I was a little girl this was one of my favorites. My dad would read it to me before bedtime," she explained before opening it back up to begin reading again. "I read it once a year the month of his birthday."

Spencer felt a sudden, inexplicable surge of confidence and decided to take advantage of it. "Hey, uh, I finished the only book I had brought with me earlier, do you mind if I read along with you, maybe? I could just read over your shoulder or something." He bit his lip as he waited for her to shoot him down, the confidence he felt already fading away rapidly.

"Oh! I, uh, o-okay," she responded while her eyes widened a little bit in response to the request. She moved closer to him on the bench they were both seated on. He adjusted the way he was sitting so that she could lean up against him and he found himself silently hoping she couldn't hear how fast and hard his heart was beating against his chest. She opened the book, holding it up high enough for Spencer to be able to read as well and they began reading. Spencer stole the occasional glance at her, the butterflies in his stomach flying around more frantically each time he did so.

His body was in overdrive and he did everything in his power to maintain his composure. He could smell the scent of eucalyptus and lavender on her hair as she leaned up against him and he started thinking about how nice it would be to be able to run his fingers through it while her lips were wrapped around his—

Spencer shook his head, dispelling the thoughts before they had a chance to take root. He cleared his throat and crossed his legs to cover up the fact that he was becoming rather noticeably hard. (Y/N) shifted a bit, leaning further into Spencer's chest and resting her head there gently. His breath hitched in his throat before he relaxed into her, resting his arm around her shoulders and his cheek against the top of her head.

They continued reading until Spencer noticed that she hadn't turned the page in quite a while. When he looked down at her he noticed that she was sleeping quite soundly against him. He tried his best to maneuver without waking her, placing her bookmark in between the pages and closing the book. There was no way Spencer himself would be able to get any sleep right now, but Spencer tried to relax enough to at least be a comfortable human pillow. Wrapping his other arm around her, he eventually found himself getting lost in the scent of her shampoo yet again as his eyes grew heavy.

Next thing he knew, he was waking up to Morgan lightly shaking his shoulder. "Come on lover boy! It's time to wake up. We're about to land," he said in a voice loud enough to also rouse the still-sleeping (Y/N).

She shot up suddenly, her face turning a deep shade of crimson as she stammered out a flustered apology and swiftly rushed off to the bathroom, leaving Spencer to glare daggers at Derek from his seat on the now otherwise empty bench.

Later that night, Spencer found himself at home, sprawled on the couch with the familiar blue glow of the television screen illuminating the room. The soft hum of the TARDIS filled the air as he half-heartedly tried to focus on the episode of Doctor Who playing before him. But try as he might, his mind kept drifting back to (Y/N).

Her scent still lingered on his clothes, a sweet and intoxicating blend that teased his senses. Images of her leaning against him, of her hair brushing against his skin, invaded his thoughts. His body reacted to these memories, stirring with a desire that he couldn't ignore.

As the scene on the TV faded into the background, Spencer's hand began to stray lower, fingers tracing the outline of his growing arousal through his pants. He closed his eyes, letting himself fully indulge in the fantasy of (Y/N) that had taken hold of his mind.

Her soft lips against his skin, his hands exploring her body with a gentle curiosity...

Spencer reached his hand into his pajama pants, pulling out his throbbing member and wrapping his fingers around himself, slowly beginning to stroke up and down. His breathing grew shallow as his hand moved more purposefully, seeking release from the building tension within him. Lost in a haze of desire and yearning, Spencer's thoughts were consumed by the memory of her touch, her scent, her warmth as she leaned up against him. With a quiet gasp, he abandoned himself to the fantasy, his movements growing urgent as he chased the climax that beckoned to him.

The fantasies of (Y/N) moaning and writhing beneath him in pleasure became more vivid, more alluring, fueling the fire that consumed him. Every fleeting touch, every whispered word in his mind pushed him closer to the edge until finally, with a shuddering breath and a silent cry of her name on his lips, Spencer found release in the solitude of his living room. The waves of pleasure washed over him, leaving him spent and breathless, his heart pounding in his chest.

As reality slowly seeped back in, Spencer lay there in the dim glow of the TV screen, a flush of both satisfaction and guilt coloring his cheeks. He wondered how he would ever be able to look (Y/N) in the eye again, but at the same time he couldn't help but long to see her still.

With a deep sigh, Spencer finally shut off the TV, cleaned himself up, and headed to bed, his mind filled with a mixture of longing and remorse.

The atmosphere in the bullpen was buzzing with it's usual energy. Spencer and (Y/N) were hunched over their desks, papers scattered everywhere as they focused intently on their work.

Meanwhile, across the room, Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia, and JJ were observing the pair with playful banter and knowing looks. Their whispers floated through the air like mischievous spirits.

"Hey, JJ, how long do you think it'll be until these two finally give in to their sexual tension?" Derek asked with a cocky smirk.

JJ shrugged. "I'll give it two weeks."

Derek scoffed in response and said, "I say a week tops."

Penelope interjected, "oh please! I give it three days."

"You're all ridiculous" Emily shook her head and laughed, "I bet it'll take 24 hours, tops."

Spencer could feel the heat rising to his cheeks as he overheard the playful bets being made about him and (Y/N). His heart raced at the mere thought of what could transpire between them, a mixture of excitement and nervousness swirling within him like a storm.

As they both reached for the same file folder, their fingers brushed against each other's in a fleeting moment that sent a jolt of electricity through Spencer. His hand trembled slightly at the contact, his skin tingling with a sensation he couldn't quite describe. But he couldn't deny the rush of warmth that flooded his veins at the simple touch.

(Y/N) quickly withdrew her hand, her eyes widening in surprise as she glanced up at Spencer. Her cheeks were painted with a delicate pink blush that mirrored Spencer's own, a silent acknowledgment passing between them in that moment.

Emily raised an eyebrow as they all observed the exchange between Spencer and (Y/N). "I told you all—24 hours, no more, no less.”

Agent Hotchner's lowered voice came from behind the group, startling everyone at the table. "Less than 12 hours," he stated calmly, his eyes piercing as they turned towards Spencer and (Y/N). The sudden silence that followed his words was almost palpable, the tension thick in the air as his prediction hung over them like a heavy cloud.

As the others in the room exchanged surprised glances, Derek let out a low whistle. "Hotch, you sure about that?" he asked, a smile playing on his lips.

Hotch simply nodded, his expression unreadable as he turned away and walked out of the bullpen, leaving the rest of the table floored as they looked back at Spencer and (Y/N).

The gentle hum of the bullpen around them seemed to fade away as Spencer found himself lost in a daydream, imagining a world where he and (Y/N) were more than just colleagues. His heart quickened at the thought of what could be, but just as quickly, the shadow of doubt crept in.

What if she didn't feel the same way? What if their friendship was forever altered by a moment of vulnerability and desire? Spencer's mind swirled with conflicting emotions—longing mingled with fear, desire intertwined with doubt.

Lost in his thoughts, he almost didn't notice (Y/N) shooting him a quick smile before returning to her work. The warmth of that smile lingered in the air around Spencer, filling him with a sense of hope and a tinge of uncertainty. Was it just a friendly gesture, or did it hold a deeper meaning that he desperately wanted to believe in?

As the day drew to a close and everyone began packing up, Spencer finally spoke up. "Hey, (Y/N)," Spencer nervously fiddled with the strap of his bag, "would, uh, w-would you want to come over and watch Star Trek tonight? We could get some takeout, you know, like we always do the weekend after a case?" She looked up at him with a warm smile that made the butterflies in his stomach flare up and nodded happily.

As they walked out of the office together, Spencer couldn't help the sweat that began coating his palms in a thin layer. He gripped the leather strap of his bag and fiddled with it to give his hands something to do. The elevator took them down to the parking garage and they approached her car. Spencer rushed to open the driver's side door for her, drawing a soft, melodious giggle from her lips that made him go weak at the knees.

He made his way to the passenger side and slipped into the seat, buckling the seatbelt and swallowing the lump in his throat. She pulled out of the parking space and they began the short journey to his apartment. On her car radio a CD started playing, and a man with a soft and pleasant voice was singing to them about a woman with a green plastic watering can and a fake Chinese rubber plant. (Y/N) hummed along to the song and Spencer looked at her from the passenger seat, and as he did so his mind ventured back to the conversation he over heard between their colleagues earlier today.

"Spencer? Why are you staring at me?" She asked with a small smile, snapping him out of his thoughts and back into reality. His cheeks burned as he silently berated himself, not realizing how long he had been looking over at her. A whole new song was playing on the radio now, the same man now singing about how he used to fly like Peter Pan.

"S-sorry, I, uh, I just, uh—hey, wh-what did you wanna order tonight?" He clumsily attempted to change the subject, looking down at his hands as he wrung them together in his lap.

"Oooh!" (Y/N) exclaimed, always excited to talk about food. "There's a new pizza place across the street from your building that I noticed the last time I came over, what if we ordered from them?"

Spencer closed his eyes and exhaled shakily, relief washing over him. "That sounds like a fantastic idea," he smiled and shot another glance her way, this time immediately looking back at his hands.

(Y/N) parked the car on the curb in front of Spencer's building and turned off the engine. They stepped out into the cool evening air and walked across the street, entering the pizza shop. The inside of the shop was small, just a handful of tables. The walls were painted a pale shade of yellow and plastered with vintage Italian film posters. The air smelled of tomato sauce and pesto, and as they approached the counter a middle aged woman with a red apron over her blue dress pushed through the door in the wall behind it, wiping her hands on her apron.

"Welcome! Table for two?" She asked, looking between (Y/N) and Spencer.

"Can we actually just order something for takeout?" Spencer asked, looking at the menu above her head.

"Of course! What can I get for the handsome couple?" She smiled, her brown eyes crinkling on the side.

Spencer blinked. "Oh, uh, w-we, uh, we're not—," Spencer stammered, his eyes widening as his cheeks flushed. "Um, can we get a, uh, a large pepperoni pizza?" He shifted gears, remembering her once mentioning to Garcia that pepperoni was her favorite pizza topping.

"Did you want a two liter bottle of cola? It would only be an extra $1.25," the lady chuckled, entering everything into the register.

"S-sure," he responded, pulling out his wallet.

"Alrighty! That will be $9.25," Spencer handed over a $20 and the lady opened the register drawer and handed him his change. "Please, feel free to have a seat while the two of you wait." She gestured over at the tables, which were all empty save for one, which was occupied by a single woman with a large slice of pizza on her table doing a crossword puzzle, before walking back through the door behind her.

"After you," he turned to (Y/N), following her to a table by the window. He pulled the chair out for her, earning another one of her beautiful giggles that made his legs go wobbly.

"Always such a gentleman," she smiled up at him as he made his way to the other side of the table and sat down. They waited for around 10 minutes and chatted about random topics, flowing from one to the next. The same lady from before approached the table with a white pizza box and plastic bag with the large bottle of soda and little packets of crushed red peppers and parmesan.

"Here you go, one large pepperoni pizza!" She placed the box and the bag on the table and wished them a good evening before heading back through the same door behind the counter.

The pair headed out of the shop and crossed the street, entering the door to Spencer's apartment building. Spencer carried the pizza box and soda while trailing behind (Y/N), struggling to keep his gaze off of her behind as he followed her up the stairs. As they approached his door, he fumbled trying to get his keys out of his pocket and ended up dropping them on the ground.

(Y/N) immediately reacted, bending down to grab the keys as soon as they hit the ground with a good natured laugh. "Need some help, Spencer?" She teased while grinning up at him.

"Yes, please," he laughed in return, shooting her a sheepish grin of his own. She unlocked the door to his apartment and opened the door, allowing him to slip in first and place the pizza and soda down on his small table. She followed and closed the door behind her.

"So I know I had agreed to come over to watch Star Trek, but what would you say to watching a little Doctor who?" She turned to him, a hopeful glint in her eyes. "It's been a while since I've sat down and watched that and I kind of miss it."

"We can watch anything you'd like!" Spencer responded while heading to the kitchen to grab a couple of plates and glasses. He brought them back out and offered one of each to (Y/N). They each helped themselves to a slice of pizza and poured their drinks before heading over to his couch. He grabbed the remote and put on Doctor Who.

They ate their pizza and watched Doctor Who on his couch, each of them getting up for another slice at least once. Spencer stole the occasional glance at her as they ate and watched, and once they both finished he took their plates to the sink and washed them off before quickly returning. As he sat back down, (Y/N) scooted closer to him slowly before gently leaning up against him and softly asking, "i-is this okay?"

Spencer's breath hitched in his throat as he managed to croak out a quiet, "y-yeah, it's okay." He lifted his arm and tentatively placed it around her shoulders while she moved in closer, leaning into his chest and resting her head against it like she had on the plane as they read together. This time he was sure she had to hear the way his heart was racing, but fortunately she said nothing. They continued to watch in silence as the tension between the two of them grew nearly palpable.

Eventually, once Spencer found himself wondering if she had yet again fallen asleep, (Y/N) broke the silence with a question. "So did you hear the team talking about us earlier today?"

"No, uh, wh-what were they, um, talking about?" He lied, doing his best to maintain his composure.

"You are a very bad liar, Spencer," she chuckled, making his cheeks flush bright red as she sat up.

"Sorry," he muttered, closing his eyes before looking up at her. "Y-yeah, I overheard them. I'm sorry about them, I can try to talk to them about it and ask them to stop—"

"No, it's not that! It was actually fairly funny," she chuckled, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "But to be honest I'm kind of offended that they thought it would take me that long to seduce you." She joked, nudging Spencer in the ribs. "I mean, Emily said 'no more or less than 24 hours' but I'm fairly certain that if I really tried, and I mean really put my heart into it, I could get you into bed with me tonight." She laughed again but there was a hint of nervousness in it this time, shooting a look at him from where she sat as a faint pink blush began to spread over her cheeks. Apparently she hadn't heard Hotch's bet, but Spencer wasn't focusing on that. He was too busy focusing on the fact that he was sitting here listening to her speculate how long it would take for her to seduce him as if she hadn't been plaguing his dreams and fantasies since they met.

"Good point," he breathed to himself, hoping it was quiet enough that she wouldn't be able to hear over the TV. Unfortunately for him, he thought wrong. He yelped in surprise as she lunged over his lap, grabbed the remote, and hit the mute button, making the TV go silent.

"Oh, really?" She shot him a smile that was an equal mix of surprised and some other emotion Spencer hadn't seen on her face before. "So tell me, Spencer, what might I need to do to convince you to sleep with me?" Her voice was sultry and soft as she bit her lip and looked up at him, her face closer to his than it had been before.

"I-I, uh," Spencer cleared his throat and swallowed, his heart pounding against his ribcage. He had two options: try to lie his way out of this or just tell her how badly he'd like nothing more than to lay her down and take her right there on the couch. His palms grew slick again but he took a deep breath. He had already been called out for his poor lying skills once this evening, so there was no point in attempting the first option. Instead he simply opted to tell her the truth.

"Y-you wouldn't have to do anything more than just ask and I'd say yes." His voice was barely above a whisper and he finally looked up to meet her eyes before he added, "in a heartbeat."

Before he could fully register what was happening she had leaned in and pressed her lips to his softly. His eyes slowly closed as he kissed her back, shifting to turn so he was facing towards her with more of his body. His hands slid to her waist, wrapping around her and pulling her into him.

When they pulled away from each other he reached his hand up to cup her cheek, stroking it gently with his thumb. He opened his eyes to find her already looking at him before she softly said, "Spencer, would you like to—"

"Yes," he exhaled with a fervent nod, grabbing her face with his other hand and crashing his lips back against hers, her lips parting to allow his tongue into her mouth. She threw her arms around his neck and laid back, pulling Spencer down with her. They shifted their legs until Spencer's hips rested between her thighs, his cock stiffening rapidly in his pants.

Her hands tangled into his hair and he began gently grinding his hips against her. They both moaned into each other's mouths at the sensation and Spencer's movements became more insistent and needy. When they finally broke apart to catch their breath, her cheeks were flushed and her pupils were dilated. Spencer brushed some of her hair out of her face before he pressed his lips to her cheek, then began trailing kisses from her cheek to her chin, then to her neck. She moved her hands to the collar of her shirt and began undoing the buttons while Spencer rose up to remove his own layers.

Once he had removed his shirt he looked back down at her and the sight awaiting him stole the breath right from his lungs. She had removed her shirt and her bra in the time it took him to get his jacket, vest, and shirt off and her entire torso was on display to him. He brought a hand up to one of her breasts and cupped it in his hand, brushing his thumb over the nipple. He leaned back over her and began kissing her neck again, teasing and tormenting her nipple before moving his mouth to take over, his fingers going to the other one to tease while he suckled and ran his tongue over the first one.

Everything else faded into the background when he heard her moan at sensations, including the throbbing and aching need in his pants. All that he could focus on was drawing more of those sounds form her mouth. He let his teeth graze against her nipple and she gasped, tangling her fingers back into his hair. He let his teeth press gently onto the hardened nub again and the moan she released in response was beautiful enough for him to think that maybe he had died and gone to heaven.

He eventually moved his hand from her other nipple, switching it out for his mouth and giving the first one a break. He let his hand trail down her abdomen, stopping as he reached the waistline of her skirt. He looked up at her from her chest as he hooked his fingers into the waistband and began to gently tug. She lifted her hips and used her hands to push her skirt and panties down before Spencer slowly pushed her thighs back open.

His fingers slid up her inner thigh until he reached her dripping center. His breath hitched in his throat as he felt just how ready she was for him. She whimpered beneath him and he felt his cock twitch at the sound as he moaned against her nipple. He gently ran a fingertip from her entrance to her clit, circling around it slowly before running his finger back down the other way. He repeated the action a few times. As he continued he started slipping the tip of his finger into the entrance of her pussy before swiping up to the clit, and with each repetition his finger slipped deeper and deeper into her.

His head became hazy with lust as he kept going until his finger was fully embedded into her. When he slipped it out this time instead of swiping it up to her clit he instead added a second finger, slowly pushing them both into her and pulling them back out. She arched her back up into his mouth, still tormenting her nipple. He switched back to the neglected one, feeling her chest heave against his mouth. Her fingers were back in his hair and tugging gently, and his cock twitched again at the feeling. He moaned loudly against her chest, and she pulled his hair again in response. He tugged at her nipple with his teeth lightly and she gasped, clenching around his fingers.

He sped up his pace, chuckling against her as the way she stifled a scream. "S-Spencer I'm gonna—oh fuck yes I'm coming!" She cried. Spencer pulled back to see her eyes flutter back into her head and her face twist in pleasure. Her face, neck, and chest were flushed scarlet and he felt as her pussy pulsed around his fingers. The sounds that fell from her lips were more beautiful than anything he'd ever heard. He slowed his fingers down, gently coaxing her through her orgasm.

(Y/N) tugged his hair, pulling him up to crash her lips against his. She then moved those hands to his belt, deftly undoing his belt buckle and fly. Spencer removed his belt and then pushed his pants and briefs to his ankles before kicking them off. (Y/N) reached a hand out and ran her fingers over his cock, her thumb swiping across the tip as it throbbed.

He was aching and leaking into her hand, his hips bucking into her touch while she stroked once, twice, a third time, before guiding the tip between her thighs and pressing him against her entrance. He pushed in immediately, moaning at the heat that enveloped him, and stilled once he was fully sheathed inside of her. He panted heavily as he remained still inside of her, listening to the way she whimpered beneath him.

"S-so good," he whispered, his eyes screwed shut as he tried to keep himself from finishing immediately.

"Yeah? It feels good?" She asked breathlessly.

"Yes!" He moaned. "You feel s-so good." His entire body tensed and his arms trembled under his weight when he felt her begin to writhe beneath him, trying to get some sort of friction between her legs. He took deep breaths before he pulled his hips back and pushed them back forward, earning enthusiastic moans from (Y/N)'s lips as her back arched up off of the bed, her chest pressing into his. He dragged himself back out, then back in, and kept this up until their hips had fallen into rhythm together. Every sound that fell from her lips was more beautiful than the last as Spencer rammed into her and the slap of skin on skin was mixed in with their moans.

"Sp-Spencer—" a moan cut her off, followed by his lips finding hers and swallowing the moan. His hips sped up and he felt her nails dig into his shoulders.

"I—oh my god—(Y/N), I think I'm about to come!" He cried out. He tipped his head back and a desperate whine ripped it's way from his throat as he felt himself growing closer and closer with each disjointed thrust into her and each moan from her lips. "Wh-where do you want—oh god—where should I—"

"Give it to me, please!" She mewled underneath him. "Please, please fill me up Spencer, please I need—" he finished before she could even finish her pleas, moaning loudly as he tensed and spilled every drop into her. He could feel her clench down onto him, could hear her cry out in pleasure and felt her fingernails digging into his shoulders hard enough that he suspected she may have drawn blood, but he couldn't bring himself to care about that through the pleasure coursing through every cell in his body.

By the time he came back down, he could barely hold himself up on his arms with how hard they were trembling. He opened his eyes and was blown away by the sight beneath him. Her hair was tousled and her face and chest were flushed, the latter heaving with her own gasps for air. Spencer leaned in to give her lips a soft kiss before pulling himself out of her. When he looked down in between their legs and saw his seed dripping out of her, his head spun with lust. He was snapped out of it by the sound of a cell phone ringing, and he reached for the source of the sound to determine which of them needed to answer.

When he located the phone beneath his own pants he answered figuring it to be his own phone ringing. "Hello?" He was still breathlessly panting as he looked at (Y/N), her eyes dancing with humor at his tone.

"Reid, is that you?" Garcia's voice came through the phone.

"Yeah, who else would it be?" He asked, gaining back a bit of control over his breathing.

"Well, given that I dialed (Y/N)'s number, perhaps her?" She laughed a little bit. "What are you doing answering (Y/N)'s phone sounding like you just finished a marathon?" She asked, her voice growing more and more excited with each word.

"I—uh, um—(Y-Y/N)'s phone?" He stammered, sitting up quickly at the words as he turned his gaze to (Y/N), who was cleaning herself up next to him with some tissues she had grabbed from his side table. Her eyes widened as she heard those two words come from his mouth and her hand shot to cover her mouth to stifle her laughter. "I. uh, I guess I must have grabbed hers by mistake after we ate lunch together at her desk."

"Spencer Reid you really are the world's worst liar!" Garcia laughed from the other end as Spencer felt his entire face burn with embarrassment at being called out on his poor lying skills twice in one evening.

"I-it's for you," he mumbled while he handed her the phone. After he had cleaned himself up, he put his pants and shirt back on while he let (Y/N) focus on her conversation with Garcia, which she managed to continue while getting dressed. Once she had hung up the phone she pressed her fingers to her temples and rubbed slowly while laughing.

"Well, now that Penelope knows so will everyone on the team," she let out a sigh but then smiled at Spencer so sweetly he couldn't help but scoot closer and wrap his arms around her again. They sat like that for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's presence in front of the still muted television.

"Hey, Spencer?" She spoke up eventually.

"Yeah?" He muttered back sleepily while he absent-mindedly played with her hair.

"I'm going to go grab another slice of pizza, want me to bring you one, too?"

[tgcg]

happy day of egbert

CG: DON'T YOU JUST HAVE THE MANUAL SOMEWHERE?

TG: dude its the most overwhelmingly basic thing on the planet trust me i literally did all the other settings for you

TG: all you gotta do is point the thing at egbert

TG: half press to focus subject

TG: press down fully and bam done the shit is shot

CG: BUT --

TG: i know youre desperate for this to be rocket science but its genuinely like first grade biz i promise whatever pic you take is gonna be fine

===

EB: yeah, come on karkat!

EB: i am only going to be the birthday bad ass for like, 24 hours total you know.

EB: longest birthday of my LIIIIIIIIFE. haha.

EB: oh hey, from one birthday-dooms day guy to another…

EB: i am pretty sure you understand the magnitude of what i just said!

===

CG: OH HEY. FUCK YOU.

CG: I'M JUST ACCOUNTING FOR THE LITERAL FUCKING INEVITABILITY THAT WHEN I TAKE THIS PHOTO, SOME INSIDIOUS LITTLE KARMA GNOME WILL FROLIC ONTO THE SCENE IN AN UNBELIEVABLE STROKE OF LOATHSOME SERENDIPITY TO BURY ME IN 12 CUBIC METERS OF FOOL-GRADE FUCKING IDIOT POWDER.

CG: AT WHICH POINT ANOTHER HEFTY BOULDER WILL BE ADDED TO THE BULGING MACRO-BINDLE OF SHAME YOU PEOPLE HAVE FORCED ME INTO CARRYING MY WHOLE LIFE.

CG: SHIT, SOMEONE HAS GOTTA LOOK OUT FOR MY ASS.

TG: alright give us a sec

TG: huddle formation

EB: psssshhh, alright.

===

TG: youre not gonna fuck this up

TG: your ass is completely secure dude

TG: i got the double foam padded booster seat and you know that shit is strapped on this 5mph drive through quaint ol piss-easyville

EB: you know if it really is so bad you can just re-take it, right?

EB: it is really not worth aggravationing your sponge over.

TG: 'xactly

TG: knights honor that shit isnt hooked up to my ishades and will not instantly forward me a copy in crisp HD of whatever blunder youre cooking in your beautiful nugbone

===

CG: IT'S NOT JUST THAT.

CG: HAVEN'T I SHADOWED YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY SHENANIGANS LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TOSS ME A GODDAM BONE?

CG: I MEAN. I FEEL LIKE I'M READY FOR THIS. I'VE BEEN PRIMED FOR THIS BULLSHIT FOR EQUINOXES AT THIS POINT, WATCHING YOU PRANCE AROUND WITH THIS FUCKING THING.

TG: woah wait youre legit into it?

CG: YES, I AM LEGIT FUCKING INTO IT.

CG: AND I KNOW IT HAS SETTINGS YOU'RE HIDING FROM ME. WHAT IF I WANT TO TAKE A BLACK AND WHITE SHOT, HUH? WHAT IF I WANT TO ADJUST THE "APERTURE" OR THE "EXPOSURE" OR SOMETHING.

TG: alright i dig the enthusiasm but maybe we can unwrap that shit when we dont have someone waiting for us

TG: i didnt know you were scoping photography man you shoulda said something!

CG: I WAS PLANNING TO! I DIDN'T ENVISION IT COMING UP SO FRIGGIN SUDDENLY MAN.

TG: i promise ill open the pandoras fuckin box of snap addicts anonymous afterwards alright

===

CG: OK, FINE. BUT I AM HOLDING YOU TO THA --

===

CG: HA HA EGBERT. VERY FUCKING FUNNY.

CG: FOR YOUR SAKE I SERIOUSLY HOPE THIS IS JUST AN EMBARRASSING NOSTALGIA-DRIVEN LAPSE IN HUMOR AND NOT A GENUINE ATTEMPT TO "PRANK" ME. I REALLY DO!

EB: huh? who is this "egbert" you speak of? i have never heard of such a character.

CG: OH, JUST THIS BULGECRUD-HUFFING IMBECILE THAT FALLS BACK ON SHITTY PRACTICAL JOKES SO PLAYED-OUT THAT THEY PHYSICALLY HURT TO BEAR WITNESS TO.

CG: MY LOWER JAW IS THREATENING TO REVERSE-DROP WITH ENOUGH VELOCITY TO BURROW DIRECTLY INTO MY THOUGHT SPONGE, KILLING ME INSTANTLY.

CG: SO EITHER GET SOME NEW MATERIAL OR GET ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, YOUR PICK.

EB: damn, ok. that does sound like some pretty serious bullshit, but…

===

EB: whoever that weirdo next to you is kind of seems like he needs medical resistance more than you do!

CG: WHAT

[vivwritesfics]

Translator

Oscar Piastri doesn't need a translator, Lando's sister/ Oscars girlfriend disagrees.

Exists in the same universe as "oscah" but they can be read as standalones

Oscar wasn't doing anything special,just talking to Logan when she came over. He greeted her with a small hello, placed his arm over her shoulder and went right back to talking to Logan.

It was a perfectly ordinary interaction, the Formula One drivers thought.

Once Oscar had finished his sentence, as he waited for Logan to reply, she held up her hand. "I got this," she mumbled.

"Got what?" Logan asked, admittedly a little scared. There wasn't anything wrong with Oscar's girlfriend. I mean, Oscar loved her, so she had to be doing something right.

She let out a scoff, one that had the boys knowing that, whatever she was saying, she had to be joking. "So, what Oscar has just said to you, Logan, was 'Hugh Jackman, Kangaroo, shrimp, shrimp, boomerang'."

She looked so serious, Logan couldn't help but laugh. But she looked at him like she was expecting something, eyebrows slightly raised, head tipped towards him. "Logan, your response?"

"Oh my god." It really was ridiculous and oh so her. How hadn't they gotten so used to her shenanigans by now? "Uhm, boomerangs, shrimp. Koala, koala, Straya."

With her face still seriously, she turned towards her boyfriend. "Logan just said he thinks you're an asshole and he wants to give you a big ol' kiss."

"Hey!" Logan cried. "I... did not say that."

Oscar laughed as he pulled her into his chest and pressed his lips against the top of her head. She kissed her boyfriend's cheek and said a goodbye to the two of them, heading back to her brother in the McLaren garage.

She didn't know when she started translating Australian for Oscar. It wasn't something she did for Daniel when he was teammates with her big brother, Lando. But, with Oscar, it just felt right.

The way he wore that little, blushy smile once she'd done it. The first time she'd translated Australia for Lando, he'd simply pulled her into his chest and kissed the top of her head. It had been to shut her up, Oscar not ready to admit that he loved it.

And then, every time since that, Oscar had let her. It was incredible to see the kind of absurd shit she came up with. Her go to's were boomerang and shrimp, but she liked to throw some random ones in there.

But then, the bit started getting old. She'd done it to everybody on the grid, and it was no longer tripping anybody up.

That was when she'd started asking for a response. Hearing the other drivers scramble for a response full of Australian things, it was way more amusing than she'd expected.

But then she started translating what they were saying back to Oscar. It was always some admission of love or somebody insulting him every time.

And, every time Oscar would grin and pull her into his embrace, pressing a kiss to her cheek or the top of her head (never one for much PDA).

It was incredibly fun 'speaking Australian' with Daniel Ricciardo. They'd try and have an actual conversation, with neither of them actually knowing what the other was saying. There had been a mixture of laughs and heated arguments in Australian, with neither of them knowing the subject matter.

But, her favourite time to do it was early in the morning, when Oscar would pull her in and kiss her shoulder before settling back to sleep.

She rolled over and pressed a kiss to his chest. "Osc," she mumbled, and he let out a hum, his eyes still shut. "Shrimp, koala, Hugh Jackman," she whispered and kissed the underside of his jaw.

"Shrimp, koala, Hugh Jackman to you too," he said and squeezed her against him.

Shrimp, koala, Hugh Jackman = I love you in Australian.

[nanaslutt]

hello, i hope youre good !

may you please write one day about y/n sending hot pics for satoru ?

sorry if I spoke something wrong, english isnt my first language :] take ur time and have a good day ! 💞

Your english is perfect ml, please enjoy! <3

Contains: fem reader, established relationship, sending nudes, phone sex, mutual masturbation, he talks you through it, praise, DIRTY TALK

MDNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

"I don't know Shoko.. I've never sent him anything like this before." You groaned into your pillow, your voice through the phone coming out muffled on her end. "But you want to right?" She pushed, making you raise your head up from the sheets and sigh, "I doooo." You huffed out begrudgingly. "Great! Problem solved, the pictures you sent me were hot, but not too revealing, so you can send him something like that for starters." She replied, making you blush at her compliment.

You had recently bought a new set when you went out with Shoko for a girl's day. You had practically ripped the bag in half when you got home so you could get it on your body faster. Once you had on the garment you were posing left and right, making sure to take some sensual pictures for yourself later. Your boyfriend; Satoru; had texted you in the midst of your shenanigans, telling you how he was on his lunch break, making an idea pop into your head.

You wanted to show your man how good you looked, but thinking about sending Satoru; or anyone for that matter; nudes? That made you a little nervous. You quickly dialed up Shoko, she always knew just what to say, she was your hypewoman after all. After a quick convo she had successsfully pushed you in the direction you truly wanted; that being sending your boyfriend risque pictures while he was at work.

"Let me know how it goes, see ya." Shoko's voice echoed through the phone speaker before the tone indicating the call had ended rang through the room. You took a deep breath and rotated yourself on your bed, flopping your back against the pillows, still dressed in the pretty set, while you scrolled through the pictures you had taken-- trying to pick your favorites.

You settled on three for starters, it was an easy pick, only taking you a couple minutes to assess the best ones for Satoru. The first one you were on your side, body laid across the floor sensually as your arm rested on your hip, giving the viewer's eyes full access to your body. In the second picture, you were on your knees, you had placed your phone on the ground and set it to a timer so you could lean forward, making your thighs crease at the top, as you used to squeeze your breasts together.

The last photo was your favorite. You were sat on the floor, your legs folded and spread, the sheerness of the panties leaving little to the imagination in the lighting, while your hand once again rested against your tit, pushing and groping it in your hand while the other took a picture in the mirror, your phone covering most of you face save for a sliver of a smile that peeked out the side of the phone.

Your heart was racing, you knew Satoru would like the pictures, and you're pretty sure he would find you attractive in a trash bag, but you digressed, opening the chat to your lover.

Satoru <3: finally on lunch, yaga brought donuts today!

The picture attached was of the white-haired man laying back in his chair as he held his shirt up over his stomach to reveal his somehow still toned, but bloated tummy, an empty donut box in the background. Something told you that the donuts might've been for the kids, but Yaga should've known that bringing sweets around Satoru without anything for him was a recipe for disaster.

You laughed to yourself as you shook your head before responding. The two of you bantered back and forth about the subject for a while before he asked you what you were up to right now, which gave you the perfect excuse to send him the pictures. After sending an ominous 'you wanna see?' text, you clicked on the three gold medal winning pictures and sent them his way. You bit your lip between your teeth as you watched the blue bar at the top of the screen slowly slide across it, indicating it was sending.

Seconds before the pictures had been successfully sent, Satoru had started typing back his own response, which made you nervous because it meant he was in the chat and would see the photos sooner. Which is what you wanted, yes, but it didn't make it any less nerve-wracking.

When the little ‘delivered’ popped up underneath your pictures, quickly followed by a ‘read’ you held your breath. The three dots that indicated his typing stopped, then started, then stopped again. Uncertainty filled your body, did he not like the pictures? Was he mad you sent them while he was working?

You were snapped out of your stupor when your phone started vibrating in your hand, Satoru’s contact picture and name lighting up the phone as it rang. You quickly answered his call, readying yourself to apologize for being out of line, but before you could do so you heard a loud drawn out groan resonate from the speaker.

“You’re such a tease.” He pouted on the other side of the line, “I only have 5 minutes left on my lunch break and you just made me so fucking hard.” He groaned, making you sigh in relief as you registered his words. “I’m sorry Satoru, I felt pretty and wanted you to see,” you faux apologized, biting your lip as you looked around your room.

“And you do look so fucking pretty baby, that’s the problem.” He sighed, spinning himself around in his chair while he stared down at his erect cock that was tenting up his pants. He looked over at the large clock on his wall, which he mainly used for decoration, before sighing into the receiver. "Thank you, Satoru," You blushed. "I was going to send them when you texted me that you were on your lunch but our conversation wasn't really.. in that mood" You explained.

You heard his signature laugh from the other end, "Baby, I don't care if I just told you the school got attacked by a hoard of curses, if you have sexy pictures to show me you better not keep them from me." You rolled your eyes, you both knew he was exaggerating and you would never do such a thing, but his words made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside still. "Sorry Satoru, is it too late to tell you that I took more than the ones I sent you?" You giggled, biting your lip when you heard him groan in response.

"Fuckk, please send me those pictures baby~" He wined, reaching over to his wireless headphones as he popped onto into his ear so he could still hear you while he oggled your pictures, he wouldn't want anyone to hear this conversation after all. You were one step ahead of them, the delivered notification once again popped up on your screen as you sent him three more pictures, all more risque than the last.

In one your back was arched in the mirror, showing off the pretty decoration on the back of the panties. Another, you completely abandoned the bra of the set, leaving the panties on as you covered your nipples with your fingers, and one of the same vein of you holding the phone over your body while you lay on the bed, your arm squishing your tits in the bra together while it cupped over your panty-less cunt.

"Oh you're trying to kill me, look at that fucking arch." He groaned, covering his mouth with his hand as he took in the photos. "Baby you look so cute in that last one." He complimented, making you blush and giggle as you whispered out your thanks to him. He looked over to the clock once more, it was a couple minutes over the time he was supposed to be back and teaching the kids, but he figured if he was already late, what was a couple more minutes?

"Answer that," Satoru instructed, referring to the FaceTime request that popped up on your phone from him. You accepted it quickly, pulling your phone from your ear as you slid the green button over, smiling fondly when his flushed face popped into view. "You're so handsome, Satoru." You complimented, feeling your stomach start to tie itself in knots with how debauched he looked from just looking at the pictures you sent him, he was so clearly aroused.

"Oh shit, you still have it on?" He said, biting his lip as he set his phone down on the desk in front of him, giving you a full veiw of his body as he leaned back once more and startaed rubbing himself over his slacks. "Satoru what are you doing?" You asked with a laugh, surely it had been longer than five minutes now, he needed to get back to teaching. "Shh baby, they wont miss me for a couple more minutes ill make it quick." You imediately picked up on what he was insinuating.

"Look at how hard I am baby, I can't go out there looking like this." He wined, tipping his head to the side against his chair as he looked at you with a pout. "You're gonna take care of me too right?" You asked, giggling before you set up your own phone on your bed, using some pillows to stabilize it. The white-haired man scoffed before he started unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out, "Can't believe you just asked me that." He said, semi-faux offense plastering itself on his face, "Was there ever a time I've left you unsatisfied?" He asked, slapping his cock against his free hand when it was finally unobstructed from his too-tight pants.

You sat back on your heels and started massaging your tits in your hands, making the warmth in your stomach grow as you pretended to think, looking around the room as you hummed. "Oh, so you already forgot how I made you cum in under a minute before work yesterday morning?" He said confidently, beginning to stroke himself as he watched you push your covered tits together. "I barely have to touch you and you're a squirming mess, dont play with me." He huffed out a laugh, bringing his other hand down to massage his balls in his hand, really giving you a show.

"But you're not here right now, Satoru." You retorted, sliding one of your hands down your body slowly, making your way down to your cunt. "Maybe not, but just my words are making you all wet, huh?" He asked knowingly, pulling his lip between his teeth as he watched you tease yourself. You nodded, making him coo at you as you finally made it to your cunt as you started to rub small circles over your clit.

"Get comfortable for me baby, keep the set on." He instructed. You lay back against the pillows and spread your legs. The crotch of the panties had a little patch over your entrance that he couldn't see through, but every other part of the fabric was almost completely sheer, except for the fact that your wetness was seeping through them little by little and making them see through the more you teased yourself.

"Play with your nipples while you rub yourself baby." He groaned, trying to keep his voice relatively quiet as he was in his office. "This is so dirty." You giggled, following his instructions. You rubbed small circles against your panty-clad clit while you pinched your nipple through the fabric of the unpadded bra.

The two of you have tried many things sexually throughout the entirety of your relationship together, but somehow, have never thought of getting off together over the phone. When Satoru was gone on missions the two of you would send dirty messages back and forth, saying how bad you missed each other, but nothing to this extent. This was opening a whole new world for the both of you, and it would be something you would definitely do again.

"Good fucking girl. Goddd, what I wouldn't give to bend you over right now and fuck you into the bed." He groaned, his strokes picking up pace while he watched your body jerk and twitch under your ministrations. "Yeah?" You encouraged, rubbing yourself faster and harder as your cunt clenched around nothing, aching for him to fill you up.

"Yes baby, want you to fuck yourself back on my cock too, wanna watch your little pussy swallow up my dick." He continued, rambling as the wet strokes on his dick emanated louder through the room. "Pull your panties aside and touch yourself, gotta see your pretty pussy." He grit through his teeth, as he tried to keep his eyes from rolling back in his had. You did as told, pulling the fabric aside you exposed your twitching clit and pulsing hole, a string of your arousal that connected to the panties failed to excape his eyes, making Satoru's cock twitch.

"Touch yourself, baby, pretend it's me touching you." He groaned, letting his jaw drop as he watched your fingers come in contact with the little bud, beginning to rub quick circles against it, just like he always does. "L-like this Toru?" You asked, needing him to praise you right now. "Just like that baby, doing so good for me, so fucking perfect." He groaned, shaking his head back and forth as he watched your smaller fingers work yourself through your orgasm.

"Shit, wanna feel your cunt squeezing me so bad, can see her twitching." He whined, making you blush in embarrassment at how exposed you were. Satoru's leg started bouncing against the floor at how fast he was working himself up. "P-please, fuck me Toru', fuck me-" You whimpered, getting lost in the sensation as you tipped your head back against the pillows and dropped your other hand down to the opening of your pussy, slowly sliding them inside your walls and starting up a blissful pace as you curled them up towards your sweet spot.

"Yes fuck your pussy for me, baby, yesyesyes." The man rambled, his back beginning to arch off the chair with how close he was. The squelching emitting from your cunt was going to send him over the edge, he so desperately wanted to pull your inadequate fingers out and lick them clean before he replaced them with his own. "Faster baby, cmon, get yourself there." He begged, slowing his strokes against his cock to let you get closer to your orgasm so the two of you could cum together. "I-I'm fuck S-satoru- Right there- right there-" You moaned, losing yourself in your fantasy as you fucked your fingers harder and deeper into yourself.

"Yeah? Right there? You like when I fuck you right there?" He slurred, clenching his teeth together as he picked up his pace once more, beginning to fuck his hips up into his hand. "Yes Toru- G-gonna- gonna cum-" You wined, your voice raising in pitch as you dropped your chin down to the screen in front of you, watching the show he was so kindly putting on for you as the sight pushed you over the edge.

"M-me too- Gonna fill you up cutie- fucking- take it-" Satoru groaned, hot ropes of cum spurting from his dick as his torso curled in slightly, his abs clenching and body jerking with the force of his orgasm. He watched intently as you snapped your legs shut around your hand, he saw the muscles in your forearm moving, praising you for working yourself through it as wave after wave of your high crashed over you. "Good girl, good fucking girl." He praised, slowing his strokes on his cock as he worked himself through the aftershocks of his orgasm.

"S-shit" Your body relaxed against the sheets once more, your legs staying shut as you relished in the friction your closed thighs brought to your cunt as you came down from your orgasm. You heard your boyfriend giggle, dropping your knees down to the side you looked down at the screen and noticed that he was wiping his cock clean and tucking himself back into his pants. "Whew, 3 minutes, and I didn't even touch you." He praised himself, making you laugh and roll your eyes at him as you sat up to grab your phone in your hand and lay it against the side of the bed with you as you laid down.

"You could say the same for me too you know." you retorted, making him smirk. "Yeah, you could, made me make a huge fucking mess." He giggled, staring at you lovingly through the phone. "You look beautiful." He said, making hearts practically form in your eyes as you thanked him. "Clean yourself up before you fall asleep, I'll be home soon, okay?" He said, raising his eyebrows at you as he waited for your answer before he ended the call.

"Okay Satoru, hurry please." You added the two of you said your goodbyes, he blew you an animated-looking kiss before he hung up the call. You sighed, dropping your hand against the sheets as you smiled to yourself, you couldn't wait for him to get home.

After giving yourself a couple more seconds to lie there, you sat up, heading his words as you started to get yourself cleaned up. You paused in your ministrations when your phone buzzed, the screen lighting up as Satoru's name popped up on the screen. You decided to check his message before you left for the bathroom, your jaw dropped and your body tensed when you opened his message.

There was a picture of Satoru's impressive-sized softening cock that rested on his hand, his length and hand alike covered in his cum with a message attached. When did he even have time to take that picture?

Satoru <3: Keep the set on till I get home please~

[ryescapades]

hi hello how are you?? i would like to request a yor forger!reader with hoshina where it's friends to fake marriage if that's alright?

they both agreed to the arrangement just to get their families' pestering off their back, but they ended up catching feelings in the process.

basically married shenanigans with pining hoshina with his insanely strong (fake) spouse in the third division 🔥🔥🔥

thorny predicament | kaiju no. 8

characters: hoshina soshiro x fem yor forger!reader

genre/warning: fluff, fake marriage, idiot to lovers? pining, this is more like a character study i think, mixed use of present and past tenses (don't mind my grammar guys pls)

a/n: hi hii i’m doing well tq for asking and requesting dear anon ! sorry for the delay and i hope this is to your liking :3 it's been so long since i first watched spy x family so i'm sorry if the yor characterization is a bit butchered :c 2.98k wc

"ya have been quite distracted in battles lately. any problem we should be aware of, y/n?"

almost stumbling on the kaiju carcass on the ground, you let out a startled yelp at the voice. you switch your attention from the gun in your hands to the man behind you, holding in the grimace from showing on your face.

"vice-captain! apologies, um... i'm just exhausted, i promise!" you laugh, though you can't help but to cringe inwardly at how obviously forced the sound was.

hoshina gives you a long, scrutinizing stare. he then glances at your surrounding, making sure no one is around to eavesdrop. "alright, i know somethin' is wrong with ya. out with it," he presses. you make a gesture with your hand, attempting to brush it off. "no, no, i'm fine, sir! it's nothing, really—"

"it's just us here, y/n." hoshina cuts you off, mildly bothered that you're still addressing him in a formal way.

realizing you have no way out of this, you sigh in defeat. "it's my parents again... and their marriage shenanigans. they've been pushing me about it and if i don't make any progress, they'll have me do an omiai soon," you huff, kicking at a stray pebble on the asphalt.

born into a family who valued tradition above all, you've already known that you're going to be subjected to it soon enough. sure, your parents are proud that you're always out there saving the country, but true to their beliefs, there's no way they'd allow you to die a lonely maiden.

but for it to be conducted this early? you almost tear your hair out at the thought. you can barely cook anything to save your life!

knowing your parents, they'd probably pick your potential suitors from family friends or the sons of people they're close with at work. how can you stop that from happening, you wonder... hm, would eliminating them work? maybe let a honju go rampant near their houses— wait, no, no, stop! don't go there, y/n!

meanwhile, hoshina's eyes widen, blissfully unaware of your inner deviant thoughts. he's reminded of his own conversation he had with his father just a few weeks ago. it was exactly the same thing.

well, not that exactly.

his father only talked about how old he's getting and how nice it'd be to see some kids running around in the family estate. in other words, he's hoping for grandchildren.

hoshina vividly remembers the old man saying he 'doesn't want to bother soichiro because he's busy running a division'. he scoffs to himself. as if his job as a second-in-command isn't as important.

and as if he'd agree to marry some random woman his father picked for him anyway. because deep down in his heart, there's only one person he could see himself tying the knot with. though he never really indulges himself to acknowledge that fact, too afraid of what it could mean and the uncertainty of it to work out.

he watches as you continue to fuss over your dissatisfaction at the poor concrete below, panicking about the possibilities of getting a perverted and alcoholic old man as a husband and whatnot.

there's a notion in his head, it’s bugging him to voice it aloud. an idea, a way to dissolve this messed up situation the two of you have been thrown into.

and so he finds himself saying, "mind stopping by my office after we wrap up this operation?"

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

"i— we... excuse me?" you sputter in disbelief, gaping at your superior who's calmly leaning his hip against the desk behind him. you think this is the first time you've ever been this speechless in your whole life.

understandably, of course. never would you have thought that your family issues were something you can relate to that of hoshina's. and it's not every day you find yourself hearing your good friend suddenly proposes that you two get married. it's only a fake marriage though. but still.

"i know ya heard me the first time, y/n. don't make me repeat myself," hoshina gruffly says, shifting in his stance. little do you know there's a trail of cold sweat running down the back of his neck.

the line between your brows deepens even further. "sorry, it's just... i honestly don't know how to respond. are you sure you're up for something like that, hoshina?" you question.

"i wouldn't have brought it up if i'm not up to it. are you?"

you continue to ponder over your options, slightly stressing out because of how impetuous everything is.

it’s not like you think the idea is bad, no. if anything, you’d finally get to push your parents— and your whole family, in fact— off your back. god knows how many more ‘you’re getting old, y/n. it’s not good to marry so late. you’d lose your appeal as a woman, do you understand?’ you could take from your mother before you completely lose your mind.

your femininity is alright, but you don't think you'd make a fine wife-material out of yourself. then again, you're too much of a kind soul to outright say no to your parents about it. lying to them is a no-go either, for they'd always known how bad you are at lying and how hard it is for you to keep up the act.

it’s clear that the burdens of being a daughter in a family such as yours are too much for a benign spirit such as yourself to bear.

another thing is that your parents had once emphasized to take anyone but a defense force officer as your spouse. again, highlighting the fact that they don’t want you to suffer the despairing fate of a soldier; losing a partner in battle.

it’s not just that. there’s the case with hoshina too, where you think your relationship with him has always been in the grey area. you two are considerably close, though you’d rather describe it in a more-than-coworkers but less-than-best friends kind of way, given how the two of you have never actually confided in each other about something explicitly personal as this. so basically, this is the first time you’ve heard him confessing such problems to you.

apart from that, there were also some of those moments where you’d catch him doing something that threatened the thin, fragile line of your relationship. it’d send your mind into an impasse every time it happened, making you question about it more times than you’d care to admit.

although with that being the reason, you still end up agreeing to his proposal, knowing fully well the arrangement can bring you both mutual benefits.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

the day you formally introduce yourself to the hoshina family turns out rather smooth. the meeting with your parents, however...

you don't think you've ever been this nervous before. not when you held your first ever presentation in school, not when you were anticipating your jakdf acceptance letter, and definitely not when you fought your first kaiju.

another first experience added to the list of that involving hoshina soshiro...

simply put, the entire meeting was nerve-wrecking.

as expected, your parents were skeptical with your so-called husband of choice. they interrogated the hell out of him, asking this and that, commenting on every little thing about him with the intention to see him squirm in his seat.

but you know hoshina. he's confidant, undeterred and he knows how to handle his opponents well. with honeyed, dialect-thickened answers slipping from his tongue at every turn, your parents gradually warm up to him.

if only you knew the praises he had uttered about you all came from his honest heart.

since then, your relationship with hoshina grows closer, born out of correlative understanding and acknowledgment towards your newly shared status as each others' spouses. both of your parents have dwindle down a bit with their pestering, now opting to support you two in their own ways.

hoshina becomes a tad bit more bold with his gestures too. he grazes his hand a lot more with yours, stands a bit closer to you until your shoulders brush, suspiciously eyeing men who he thinks were looking at you wrongly. he even asked captain ashiro to let him have the same meal times and off-duty hours as you.

"you called for me, captain ashiro— oh, vice-captain hoshina, you're here too!" you salute just as you step into the captain's office.

hoshina gives you an easy smile, one which you gladly mirror as you stand beside him in front of ashiro's desk, now consciously aware of the engagement ring you wore as a necklace hidden beneath your uniform and a complementary one you know is looped around his neck.

"at ease, y/n. i just called to ask whether you'd be alright with having a schedule change starting next week?" ashiro asks straight away, her attention still fixed on the papers in front of her.

your brows raise in confusion. "um... respectfully speaking, captain, since when do i have a say in something like this? i thought that's only for you to decide?"

"well, seeing as hoshina is the one who requested it, it's only right that i properly ask consent from you first, since it's your work hours we're discussing about here." she says.

ashiro then continues, not giving you and your 'husband' a chance to utter a single reply, "besides that, i'm quite surprised you're still calling him by his last name, given that you're also a hoshina now, y/n."

thoroughly amused, the captain revels in the way the two of you blush almost simultaneously, turning away from each other in bashfulness after being called out.

right, you forgot captain ashiro is the first person to know about the true nature of your relationship... and yet despite that, she genuinely roots for you two, praying that someday hoshina will eventually confess his painfully deep-rooted feelings for you.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

hoshina enjoys watching you in action. polite and kind personality off the field but with impeccable fighting abilities, your unleashed force could soar through the roof on a good day, and your hand-to-hand combat skills are considered on par with his own. not to mention your extremely high agility and fast reflexes, hoshina has rarely seen any kaiju catching you off guard mid-fight.

in short, you're strong. monstrously so.

he's reminded of that fact during one celebration party, where you've emptied one too many glasses, drunk out of your mind to even think straight.

"you know, soshiro-kun... this is like the best decision i've ever made! like, ever!!" you slur in between hiccups, cheeks flushed as your heavy eyes shine brightly at him.

your husband's slanted eyes crinkle at the corners in clear ardor, though you never noticed it due to your intoxicated state. "what decision? you mean drinkin' till you're all trashed and plastered like this?" he drawls with a teasing lilt in his tone.

hoshina lets you drunkenly lean the entirety of your weight on his side, an arm hovering just above your figure in case you fall over. choosing to indulge himself a bit, he rests his cheek on your head, taking in the soft scent of your shampoo.

most of the others celebrating around you don't even bat an eye, already used to the sight of you and the vice-captain being so physically close together. the new recruits never asked about your relationship. they just assume that you're already dating since they've seen you two like this even before they got officially appointed as officers.

though they have no idea how unbearably frustrating it was for the older members of the division to keep watching their vice-captain pine for you for years now.

one is hopeless, and the other is oblivious. it's sickening.

"ehhh, me? drunk? no, no! the decision is me marrying you, of course! i'm so happy i said yes to you that day! cheers to my lovely husband, guys!" you giddily hoot, raising another glass in the air before downing it all in one gulp.

and then chaos ensues.

shocked exclaims of "you two are married already?!", "wait, why was i not invited??", "since when?!", and among others fill the already rowdy hall.

hoshina internally combusts, his ears burning hot for he doesn't expect you to suddenly reveal your status like that but you seem so delighted about it that he doesn't have the heart to deny anything.

at the table beside you, furuhashi shouts in victory, "hah! i told you guys l/n-san and vice-captain hoshina are together! pay up, suckers!"

the swordsman raises a thin eyebrow at the new discovery. "that's quite a bet y'all made there. think some good extra laps could fit in somewhere?" he provokes.

the newbies sit upright, body rigid as they're about to send apologies his way but then you cut them all off.

"l/n? soshiro, you had a partner before me? am i getting in between your relationship?" you shakily ask in your hazy stupor, barely able to get your words out correctly as you jerk back, tears pooling in your eyes.

hoshina halts, finally realizing that you're too far gone to grasp that they were talking about you. "wait, what? that's not—" he tries to console, but you move fast, more so now that you're drunk. "no, don't touch me! i'm not a man-stealer, i swear!" you cry out.

before anyone can say or do anything, your fist connects with his jaw, so strong and forceful that the sound echoes in the hall as everyone else freeze in their spot, almost in horror at the spectacle.

the powerful yet underserving hit left hoshina's pretty face sporting a nasty bruise for the next few days, and it got you apologizing every chance you get.

nonetheless, at least he finds it endearing that you're not the type to handle your liquor well.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

another thing hoshina adores about you is that you're protective of the ones you care about.

he can distinctly recall the sagamihara neutralization operation when officers furuhashi and ichikawa had stumbled upon the humanoid version of no.9.

after losing connection with the two boys, you knew something was wrong at that moment. deciding to trust your instincts, you immediately head towards their last reported location, hoshina's concerned warnings from your earpiece going unheeded.

relief washed through you when you managed to arrive on time, though the sight of two direly injured officers made something boil deep inside your stomach.

your heart leaped to your throat when you see no. 9 with its hand out towards furuhashi, seconds away from blowing him to bits. with an enraged vigor, you lunged towards the man, pulling him behind you and aiming your gun at the monster before straight away pulling the trigger.

furuhashi cried out your name but you felt your pulse quicken then, not because of the daikaiju's hand separating from its arm and its core almost exposed due to your piercingly pin-point shot, but because of the figure appearing just behind no. 9. it was kaiju no. 8.

the next thing you knew, no. 9's head was flying away, and you held furuhashi closer, your aim changing its direction to the new humanoid kaiju. "keep still, furuhashi." you grit your teeth when you felt him stagger behind you, eyes narrowing warily at the way no. 8 gently handled ichikawa to sit up.

you wanted to question how it was possible for a kaiju to act in such a humanely way, but you figured that was something to be figured out later, as you now have two wounded officers to worry about.

hours later, as the mission came to an end, you approached hoshina who was seated on the ground with a sullen look on his face. "soshiro?" you called.

your husband immediately turned at the sound of your voice, clambering to a stand and dusting off his suit. "y/n! you're fine, thank gods," he exhaled before fussing over you, peering here and there to make sure you're not injured anywhere. "you're crazy, you know that? runnin' off to face against two daikaijus like that. ya had me worried sick!"

your fingers mindlessly fidget with the ring necklace, heart melting at his concerned sentiment. "sorry... i was worried too, you know. to hear furuhashi and ichikawa-kun getting isolated with an identified kaiju like that. they're under my care so i have to be responsible for their lives. and then you just had to go off and fight no. 8 on your own!" you huffed.

finding solace in his safety and well-being, you dropped your head to his shoulder and brought his own ring close to brush a kiss on the smooth surface of the glinting metal. "but i'm glad you're safe, soshiro," you murmured quietly.

when a tense silence greeted you, you slightly winced as embarrassment slipped into your conscious thoughts.

were you making him feel uncomfortable? fuck, you shouldn't have done that. you're just his fake wife, you don't have any right to succumb yourself to such intimacy with him.

you moved to pull away, but a palm situated itself on the back of your head, making you settle back on his shoulder. the hand felt warm, and so did hoshina's ears, cheeks, neck and anywhere his blood rush could reach.

"soshiro...?" your voice muffled on the material of his suit. his grip on you tightened just a little, an airy whisper of "stay," brushing against your ear almost affectionately. slowly, you snaked your arms around his back, burying yourself further into his welcoming embrace.

hoshina's mind seemed to settle. calm like the ocean waves during a slack tide, rustling like the tree leaves on a bright, sunny day. his feelings for you grew tenfold, adoration and love blossoming like flowers on a ripe spring season.

at that time, all he could think about is how much he desperately wanted to make you his real wife.

no official wedding ceremony written bcs my brain just couldn't come up with anything TT also i wanted to add more tension-filled scenes BUT I'M SO BRAINDEAD HELP I WANNA CRY

anyways, title inspired by yor's nickname, thorn princess hehe

—

©🅁🅈🄴🅂🄲🄰🄿🄰🄳🄴🅂. do not steal, translate or repost my work anywhere else !

[alienpossession]

You have to do more Mike and definitely explore some shenanigan with Steven back home. And maybe explore the trainee system more like what apushforfolly did in the original version. Love everything you do!

In regards to Mike, well, he did pretty solid for the cause despite Master's departure to the States. The nerd that stayed behind witnessed at first how Mike wasted his potential and charms with endless parties and lonely workout, so one particular night, the nerd intervened during dinner

"You have to go back to your root. Look inside that meat puppet's mind to find his essence as a human and exploit it for the cause, don't just waste your time with aimless parties as if you're still not the Master's subject. He will be disappointed seeing you wasted such a good puppet, you know?"

"Oh, you wanna see me working? You wanna see me utilizing all the charm this puppet has? Just so you know, we travelled from light years away, I deserved some break. But if you challenged me, well, even the entire city can be under my control,"

"Well, I'll let your action and achievement speaks for itself," the nerd said as he left the dinner table, not interested to see Mike any longer unless he brought some tangible proof of his success

----

The following morning

"So it seems like someone is back to his good old routine once again, no more travelling for a while, I'm staying put, so it means I have some more time available for me to kickstart my online coaching program once again. I'm looking for 8 people who are willing to bust their ass and ready to give 100% effort in order to take that physique to the very next level. You will be working with myself, my team, we will guide you along the way and coach you for over 16 weeks period so this will take you up to the end of this year. If you find this interesting, click the link below--"

And as the story ended, the nerd blew his load all over his sweatpants as his thoughts already went ahead with the idea of Mike subduing all the 8 clueless men thinking they'll get better physique with the help of a renowned fitness coach only to be turned into mindless, docile puppets. And that's exactly what happened as the updates started to appear in his chat between Mike for the next couple days. It surely didn't help that the Mike's puppet really managed to drive the points home with his detailed description on the takeover or what kind of conversation he is having with the prey, either on the way to the takeover, mid-way the process or after the whole thing. For example, this video Mike sent to the nerd right at the same night of Mike's morning call for participants drove the nerd to breaking point as Mike said

"Finally, you look better with mini-mes swimming inside your brain, you were so dumbfounded at first when I spat on you huh?"

"Yeah fuck that, you know Joshua is a bit gay for ya, that spat turned him on LOL!"

"Well, you clearly looked quite eager, Josh. Maybe you do like my spit *proceed to spit to Josh gaping mouth, which Josh reciprocated with swallowing it and then licking his lips*"

Right when Josh lunged to Mike for a sloppy kiss and what probably happened right after, the video ended as Mike grabbed his phone right in time to end the videos.....

Several times, rarely though, Mike even boldly have a video call in public with the puppet in tow to describe what went down to the nerd

"Hey there dweeb, I know you know this daddy. Exactly, Frederick is now part of our little collectives! Are you around? We are in his usual cafe where you eyed him a couple weeks ago editing his Youtube content, do swing by if you wanna get stuffed by his dad's cock, yeah you pervert, you watched a good and harmonious family vlogger to lust over the dad and thinking how you can corrupt him, well here he is ready to pummel your mouth with his musty cock fresh from his workout regimen with the reliable Mikey,"

Of course the nerd ran for his life to the cafe 3 blocks from his office upon receiving the video, but again, that's not really a normal occurence as Mike mostly just sent a picture with accompanying short caption after his conversion, like when he described the first puppet he converted after the "call for clients" video released

"Happy to inform that there's a brand new controller inside Leon Walker,"

You gulped as your face turned beet red as you found yourself unable to swallow your lunch due to the shock you got from the text message that just casually popped up in your phone.....is he for real?

"Yeah, I know you subscribed to his OnlyFans, well, look at how helpful I am for you by turning your favorite content creator to give you free, even better and outlandish performance for private! Come join us later tonight in my penthouse for the exhibit! I know you've been commenting how insanely hot it will be for Leon to suck his own cock while getting his butt plugged, well~~~"

Other times, the message that accompanied the possession tend to be even shorter

"Explaining the hierarchy of the puppet to the recent convert, he was such a tool that only knows how to workout, he should be thankful that an alien takeover his body,"

Or "greedy muscle beast of a fucker got what he deserved, turned into 270 lbs bottom bitch with no more free will for a boutique gym boy like me," which caused the nerd to burst out in his day job's office bathroom upon receiving the update

Yet, as explained before, Mike loved details so, when the client is extra special, he went on to great details explaining the whole sequence. For starter, when he explained how he took down Mike's hometown best friend

"You should have seen his face when I slapped the cold slimy alien right to his ear mid-workout. He is Mike's best friend from his previous lives and my memory is so vivid, I can really tell that they both loved each other but simply not informed, some kind of unreciprocated love. And the thing is, the love is reciprocated, they just didn't mention it to each other when they still could. Or maybe it's all just my made up story LOL, both of them are straight as an arrow and he even married last year to this beautiful woman which he will abandon as he is only going to serve Mike now. I mean, you really have to feel that tight hole of his, it's surreal, and that made him a great asset to have around with me. Truly a tale of two best friend finally connected once more and become inseparable ever since"

But there's nothing that prepared the nerd for Mike's latest conquest, as the nerd wakes up this morning to the news that the startup he worked for just got bought by a VC and the deal was finalized last night. The company's messaging app turned chaotic as "CEO Office" released a rather cold statement that there will be a townhall later today to explain on what really went down and what's the direction forward for the startup while all the staffers, even some of the upper management, frantically communicated with quite colorful words among each others.

The nerd tried to contact Mike to explain to him about this dire situation and whether Mike has solution to get the nerd's out from the predicament, but much to his surprise (and sick arousal), Mike sent a video around 30 minutes ago with the simple caption of

"See you in the office"

His softening morning wood went hard once again as if there's a button being pressed and he instantly started to leak as he realized what Mike did. Is Mike for real? His own CEO? The nerd knows that his boss is hot but this is something they discussed before, that he wanted to have an environment where there's no alien whatsoever and just people doing regular jobs to keep some semblance of normalcy in an otherwise crazy world of the extraterrestrial debauchery. Seems like Mike didn't keep that part of the agreement with this breach, but deep down, he's very much aroused that Mike finally didn't listen to him and even went against his wish. As another picture appeared from Mike followed with the sign of him typing another message, the nerd looked at his screen anxiously

"This was yesterday, moments before disaster, for him obviously. In the next 24 hours after this picture is taken, he's braindead, divorced his wife with a simple text message and sell and exit his beloved startups to pursue a lifelong passion for converting people to Master's way outside of this cramped desert country and having a nerd licking his body dry and practically become his live-in servant as they travel across the world. The question is, will the nerd resign from his boring human job and join his braindead former boss he fantasized every night?"

Then, the phone rings, it's his CEO, and he clearly knows what's his answer gonna be

------

Will make Steven's later, wow so happy that some of yall are still excited for this series! Keep the suggestion coming!

[throwaway-yandere]

His Version Of You [Yan!Kaveh & Yan!Veritas Ratio/Reader]

a/n: tis another solid “twas a crack idea but I made it too serious” fic. kavetham rivalry is overrated af, KaTio is the way to go /j. when you finish it, can you answer the poll at the bottom on who you would pick between these two? bless you.

unreliable synopsis: When one grieves, sometimes it is best not to be reminded of who you're grieving for. Especially not by fighting over a recreation of their heart and soul. [based on @2broschlininahotub & @meimeimeirin's request]

content warnings/tags: [light yandere vs yandere]/[implied poly!yandere/reader] fic, geniuses who can't take a W, au shenanigans, the girlies love to bicker it’s their love native language

"What were you thinking, you idiot?! Thank my reflexes that I caught the statue beforehand or else I would have to explain what a monumental mistake that is. Just use your common sense for once, will you?!"

"Please— I don't want to hear that from YOU of all people! This is MY stone. Stop acting like you actually care. You took us away from my world! You're the one who's too obsessed with researching it! It's like a damn test subject and not a companion to you!"

"That's because it is, you fucking oaf!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE GIVING ME FALSE HOPE THAT IT'S A LIVING BEING!!!"

Veritas stood with his arms crossed, eyebrows scrunched and his frown the deepest Kaveh had ever seen. The architect, absolutely baffled at his experiment partner's harsh evaluation, felt his eyes dampening. His bumping of the sculpture was pure accident, but Veritas' sharp tongue cut deep into Kaveh's pride. Even the most understanding of men would find his tone abrasive.

Getting riled up…Over a damn statue.

"Just because it's alive, doesn't mean it's a companion. And just because it is a test subject, doesn't mean you can just near-topple it as you damn please."

The arguments subsided. They exchanged long looks as they tried to figure out how the "little dispute" had come dangerously close to abusive. With his anger gradually fading, Kaveh was the one to take the first initiative. Kaveh steeled himself. The architect's shoulders dropped, and his expression softened. Jaded.

"Veritas... I'm sorry. As much as this statue… means… to me, I shouldn't have yelled at you. I-I was just upset, you're aware that I've been working all afternoon polishing the statue and I took that anger out on you. I'm sorry." Kaveh said.

"Right." Veritas closed his eyes. "Apology accepted. I understand that you're visibly distressed, but I will not tolerate low-quality work."

As Kaveh was about to get defensive, Veritas placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Which is to say, take a rest, Kaveh. Work when you can guarantee peak performance." Veritas sighed. "Rest. Pompom has already prepared your bed for you."

Kaveh cast his gaze down on the floor, wearing a feeble smile. Though their list of grievances from the past days was enough to fill two pages, Veritas is steeped in cunning. He knew exactly how to plaster Kaveh's impulse.

"Right… I'm just tired."

"Precisely. The faster the progress, the greater the chance of errors." Veritas smiled back, although looking less sincere as Kaveh's. "Take a rest, Kaveh."

With a murmur, Kaveh got up and dusted off his pants from the metamorphic rock that had been sandpapered. People aren't made to stay cooped up inside all the time. He took one last look at the project before heading out for the night, noting that while the foundation was in place, work still needed to be done before they could decide on the final look. If he could just make the hands softer-looking…

"Kaveh…" Veritas chimed, warning with his arms crossed.

"Right, right!" Kaveh laughed nervously, still slightly vexed by the reproach. "Maybe I'm getting too brave at night, I don't know why I'm boldly thinking of trying my hand at smoothening the statue again."

"I'd consider you more weak-hearted than stouthearted," Veritas dusted Kaveh's shoulders off. "And do try to keep yourself clean."

"I'm too tired to run a shower…"

Veritas sighed loudly.

The both of them had decided to leave the studio with a degree of finality. Hunched over, the kidnapped architect left to take his well-deserved slumber while the doctor decided that a warm bath would benefit him more. The night "concludes", or so Kaveh thought.

Looking back, these two are the most unlikely friends to exist, are they not? A professor slash doctor of the Intelligentsia Guild and the architect "Light of the Kshahwerar" collaborating over a glorified arts and crafts project. To truly understand this bizarreness, it is wise to look back to its beginning.

In his quest to rid the galaxy of a disease he dubbed "ignorance", Dr. Veritas Ratio sallied forth to practice his preachings. Even joined the Astral Express at some point, but it was only in this instance did he found companionship with an extremely empathetic individual. 

And their first meeting was not a decent starting point.

Veritas set out on his umpteenth assignment handed out by the Express. He was sent to explore the dangerous land formations of Sumeru with the trailblazer. Every extended curve revealed pyramids and sand, and Veritas kept Stelle close by using her straps as a leash. Nevertheless, when they accidentally entered an unstable domain, his disgruntled complaints ceased. Deciding it would be best for only one to investigate further, Veritas volunteered.

There was just one discernible light path inside the mostly collapsing structure. Yet, every step he took was curiously inaudible, and when he reached the Apex, he met the sight of blonde hair. 

Enter: Kaveh.

"You get what I mean right? It feels like my problems just keep piling up and up, like an impossible mountain. There's never anyone who would listen to me complain, but you…" The words that fell from the stranger's lips were sweeter than honey as he waxed poetic. "You're always here to listen. And it makes me feel so much less alone. Thank you…"

The blonde man had his cheek against a large rectangular rock, caressing it appreciatingly. His eyelids were lowered and his cheeks were puffy. Whether he cried beforehand or was merely exhausted cannot be assessed from Veritas' distance from him.

February 5, ████.

Kaveh had recently lost his lover that day. They died due to an unforeseen heart attack, which pains him more since his darling had always been healthy. Since his "delam" has passed away, he has been inconsolable. He refused to part with any possessions they left. No matter how many of their fellow archeologists begged for (Y/n)'s notes, he barked with gritted teeth that his mind would not change.

… How ironic that he used to call his lover "my heart" when the very same organ was the cause of death.

Neither wine nor friends can get a reaction out of him. The best he could do to continue living was to focus on his work and his young mentees. (Y/n) always wanted to be a teacher but couldn't because of their daytime job, so Kaveh fulfilled their dreams instead.

That includes continuing their research on the strange rock they had found in the desert.

Kaveh remained hotly bent on preserving everything they loved. Despite its unconventional and jagged appearance, the rock struck him as the most beautiful thing he had seen in a long while. Its lack of clear patterns didn't matter; it stood tall, capturing his fascination. It had ended his slump and had become an integral part of him. This hyperfixation had not gone unnoticed by Lesser Lord Kusanali, but when she visited him, she… strangely endorsed of his newfound lunacy. She knew something he did not.

Something about the rock… felt so similar to his deceased "delam".

The doctor, lacking any context for the sight before him, raised an eyebrow. His duty may be to educate others, but this was beyond help. A pell-mell of incoherent ramblings filled the room with the hither and thither of blonde hair to match. But this was the first person he encountered in Teyvat. And he was determined to get any info out of him.

"Excuse me."

The blonde man blinked repeatedly, eyes going wide at the sight of Veritas approaching.

"I'm Dr. Veri—"

"T-This isn't what it looks like!!!" The blonde freaked out. "This is– It's just! This rock, it has sentimental value and–"

"…" Veritas drawled. "Riiiight. I'm… Dr. Veritas Ratio. I'm not of this world— I believe my companions and I are what you refer to as Descenders. We wish to collect petrology info for databank purposes. May you offer assistance?"

Kaveh did not know what to say. But by instincts, he knew something was not entirely right with this man. 

He'd be right. Veritas wasn't there specifically for rocks. He's just, crudely put, nosy.

"And I am supposed to blindly believe any stranger who wears such a strange getup?" Kaveh stood up and protectively hid the rock behind him. "Sorry, I kindly refuse. And I am not equipped to help either."

Veritas smirked and cracked some knuckles with his left thumb.

There was a damn good reason why Stelle was left behind. On the entrance of the gate laid an inscription that roughly translates to the words "adepti" and "tribute". His intellect in this linguistics may be rusty, but it is not incorrect.

He had an inkling that the rock this peculiar blonde was obsessing over was imbued with a sliver of ambuscade soul who took arms against the worst opponents imaginable.

A "yaksha", if you were a Liyue local.

Veritas was by no means unmindful of Kaveh's obsession. He held his tongue, assessing that to set a quarrel with an unpredictable variable would prolong his journey. There was no profit to be had in angering an unreadable man. 

"Well then, if I can't take that rock within reason…"

Dr. Ratio opened his book.

…

…

…

"… Long story short, that's why this chick is all wrapped up like a present."

Through brute force, both Stelle and Veritas managed to drop both Kaveh and the rock inside the Express, to the surprise of many. They were initially sent to only survey Teyvat (which meant Veritas positively lied to Kaveh earlier). No one expected an angry Sumeru man to "visit." 

"I-I am not a chick! I am a man! I'm Kaveh— an architect!!!" The self-proclaimed man wriggled around the trailblazer's yellow ropes, looking pale as he stared at the unfamiliar faces and scenery before him. "H-Hey!!! Unhand me at once!!!"

"Oh, you're not a girl? You're pretty, though."

"I should've known you would bring something peculiar on board, Dr. Ratio, I just didn't expect it to be a weird human-sized rock..." Said the red-haired lady. "But anyways, you, Sir Kaveh, have quite a remarkable sense of fashion."

"I haven't seen any guy wear earrings that big before…" The grey-haired girl said with grabby hands.

"Please don't try to yank it off him," the brown-haired man sighed and pulled her back with his cane.

Kaveh was a little taken aback by the diversity of tongues in front of him. It was clear based on their accents that they didn't quite come from the same world, yet they communicate as near-family. 

"Do all Teyvat people have rocks for friends or is it just you?" A strawberry-haired young lady asked as she approached the rock, which set Kaveh in an even more panicked frenzy when she attempted to poke it.

"N-NO!!! DON'T!!!" 

March flinched at his sudden scream and nearly fell had Stelle not caught her.

"Yeah, March, be respectful, you never know if that's the love of his life or something like that," said Stelle.

Kaveh's eyes widened. "You… How did you just understand me better than my friends…?"

The room went quiet. Dan Heng glanced at Veritas, who pretended not to notice him. Mentioning romance near him had always been a dangerous move. Veritas' face crumpled slightly. 

There were scars in his own heart he had yet to patch up, and he needed no reminder that he was procrastinating.

Dan Heng cleared his throat.

"It's bad news to have Stelle be the only one who "gets you" if you consider yourself of sane mind." Dan Heng spoke. "But then again, you remind me of Argenti…"

"Where did you find this man, Doctor?" Welt digressed, concerned as he towered above the tied Kaveh. The older man doesn't have objections to his (kidnapped) presence. He can tell by the look on both Kaveh and Veritas' faces that neither was a man with no substance, and the latter saw to exploit the former.

Veritas only shrugged and jabbed his thumb in Stelle's general direction. "Assistant…"

"On it." Stelle saluted solemnly. "We found him in a pyramid. The doctor thought he would be a worthy individual to study if we wish to understand the culture behind one of the seven nations. Since Mister Yang told us to befriend important people–"

"Since when was kidnapping synonymous with befriending?"

"–this is Ratio's candidate."

"That is correct, and he's not just any other person. I have seen him in the Guild's Persons of Interest. He is Kaveh, the light of the Kshahrewar," Veritas claimed. "A certified scholar of the Akademiya and the face for the Darshan he was an alumnus of."

The Express quietly signaled shock over Ratio's interest in the man. 

Kaveh slunk back, defeated. When there's little progress, a man naturally turns restive. Kaveh no longer had much to fear in his life. The worst had already come to pass, and the world became mere static noise. He had no hope of escaping soon, not when he saw his homeworld's true "sky". Or at least, back then, he thought it was one. The world he knew was a mere tapestry of ████…

…

"Not that there aren't enough rooms in the Express, but why bring him and the rock here?" Himeko paused to take a sip of her piping hot coffee. "Isn't it a bit, I don't know, overkill?"

"It's because that pyramid is no place to cultivate a living species, and there's no better–... lab assistant... than this man before us." Dr. Ratio looked at the man on the floor. 

Dan Heng tried not to comment on how sad his tone was when Veritas referred to Kaveh as a "lab assistant". He knew what had happened to Ratio, but it was not the right time or place. 

"What do you mean by living?" Himeko asked.

"That rock has adeptal power within it that we can awaken. That is, if he'd help us make his little rock come to life."

With his words, he moved the unweariable Kaveh to act complacent.

Kaveh felt as though the floor caved beneath him. An unholy mixture of disbelief, awe, and joy swirled within his already jetlagged mind. The fact of the matter was, despite being incredibly unstable, he was lucid enough to know that a miracle was possible. 

"What…?"

"It's been a month since that whole debacle," Veritas muttered to himself as he flicked the wrist that held his book away from the bathtub's bubbly waters. "I suppose I was harsh to the poor man. But is that treatment not at all deserved?"

Over time, Veritas grew to like Kaveh, especially after knowing he was tutoring young aspiring architects free of charge. Still, Kaveh's strangely compliant behavior does not deviate from his first impression. His empty eyes were enough sign that Kaveh lived through emotionally draining struggles and came out with few real friends. He lost his raison d'etre, that's why he willingly threw his life in Teyvat away.

… In Kaveh's words, he only wished for a "vacation". If his prize was to go elsewhither with a satisfying result, then he's not opposed to (getting kidnapped) a new "collaboration".

The doctor can't say no to it either.

Deep down, prodigy genius Veritas couldn't deny the harsh truth: witnessing that pitiful man finding solace in an inanimate object was a stark reminder that he harbored the same "illness".

Hence, Veritas offered consistent "insults" to the brightest of Kshashrewar, and each time, Kaveh took the opportunity to improve. Veritas considered it a necessary evil. But even after surpassing those challenges, Kaveh was helpless to overcome the deep emptiness that persisted in his soul.

Kaveh never really spoke about who his previous lover was. All everyone knew was that he lovingly called them "delam"– his heart. They didn't want to bring him more pain by even asking a simple question like delam's real name.

A huge mistake later on.

"... Tch," Veritas grunted, his eyebrows furrowing sadly. The thought of his last love affairs had soured his mood.

Veritas stood from his bath, drying himself and wrapping a towel on his lower half.

… He likely won't sleep tonight.

Forgetting his agreement to continue the project tomorrow morning, he unlocked the door to the studio room Himeko lent them. He left trails of his wet footsteps. His wavy hair also remained damp, but he could not care much for it. Veritas will dress himself up later. Just a towel will suffice for now.

"Sculpting…"

Veritas laughed to himself as he took some tools off the table.

"Wasn't this your pastime and not mine—" he closed his eyes, muttering the next words with a teasingly melancholic tilt. "Assistant (L/n)?"

His grip on the chisel tightened, painting his knuckles white.

Professor (Y/n) (L/n).

The person responsible for the Council of Mundanites' existence. Their name rarely escapes his lips, treating their memory like a curse. Just exhaling the thought of them out of his system makes him nauseous. As if the air inside him gets knocked out. His eyes would flutter shut, no different from a dying man who held weakly holds on. Veritas hated this anguish. The doctor hated this vicious seemingly never-ending cycle called "grief".

"(Y/n)…" Ratio muttered. "Your face is still etched in my mind. What more do I need to eradicate these… unnecessary burdens?"

He could practically hear them laugh beside him.

Haha, please. You think about me so much that you consider me burdensome? Oh, you dork! If you loved me so much, you should've written a love letter.

"You absolute ignoramus," Veritas laughed softly. "You cannot discredit my efforts, though, can you?"

"My dearest…" He breathed out in pain once more. "My most wonderful partner. The best teaching assistant I ever had. You…"

… Never loved him back.

Dr. Veritas Ratio was no idiot. He despised any form of delusion. Throughout his life, he had been a tyrannical figure who pursued truth and not stagnant idolatry for every "patient". But when an immovable force meets an unstoppable object, would you consider him a tamed emperor?

Professor (L/n) was the first person he met who brazenly called themselves a "mundanite". A true mediocre. And they were beautiful at their very core.

Not free of sin, but free of hubris.

Molded as a genius since birth, the very foundations of (L/n)'s philosophies dismantled Ratio. (L/n) admired geniuses like Herta, but never romanticized the notion of natural-born wits. They always strived to eradicate their own "ignorance". But even when they are more knowledgeable than they let on, (L/n) never boasts. This behavior provides no benefit in an academically competitive field. Nothing confused the irrefutable prodigy like their longtime academic partner.

Geniuses— Masters— when I achieve great things, I don't want to have silly titles before my name. It's so… rigid, don't you think so, Veritas?

I wouldn't know.

Ha! Of course, you wouldn't. You've lived your entire life as one. But level with me for a second. Wouldn't life be less boring if…

He raised the chisel.

… we never stopped considering ourselves as mere beginners? Isn't there more joy to being a mundane with untapped potential than a stiff jack of all trades? C'mon, Veritas. Doesn't the idea that there's always more to explore make this vast world seem less dull?

Veritas bit his lip. Tears were threatening to spill.

February 5, ████.

It was Dr. Veritas Ratio's fault that they died that day. He thought (L/n) was capable of handling an extremely dangerous laboratory mishap. They were not. Despite his assistant's years of experience, every man is an unsuspecting fledgling in the face of death. It does not discriminate between the mediocre and the brightest.

That's absurd, (L/n). What is the point of learning if not for its mastery?

"Assistant… Let me offer this final tribute so that you can finally s-stop… haunting… me."

But they will never stop. Their last long exchange repeated in his head throughout the night. No matter how many times he hammered, the clanging sound did not drown out the voices in his head. The words mocked him, over and over, and over.

I'm sorry Veritas…

Why are you apologizing?

… I'm afraid I just don't see you that way. I'm just an ordinary person, and I doubt I could ever genuinely return the love of someone as brilliant as you. I'm afraid your affection might be akin to caring for a pet, and I can't find it in myself to figure out how to respond in kind.

… That's not true. You cannot simply decline my confession with a lukewarm excuse—

I'm afraid I'm just an ordinary college professor with no PhDs. I will have to reject your love. I'm so sorry.

But why?!

"(Y/n)… The one person I can never grasp…" Veritas muttered as he looked at the finished piece. "Here you are... Created by my own hands..."

Beautiful. Not a single doubt that it was carved in their likeness. The (Y/n) he knew was a professor who loved their teaching job, but wished they were more of an adventurer. Secretly, (Y/n) wanted to be an archeologist, and perhaps that's one of the reasons why Veritas let the mysterious rock formation inside the Express. Maybe if they continued living, they would've liked this gesture.

Ha… As if.

Veritas—

W-What aspect must I improve on? To dismiss me so impatiently— do I lack the charm? I can always learn to suit your tastes. Don't tell such a bold lie. I highly doubt that it is due to my academic performance. There's another man you've wasted your affections on, is there?!

Veritas, please…

Enough! Enough with these lies and tell me! J-Just… Just tell me, (Y/n)!

He's tired. Veritas just wanted to hold them again. He just wanted to "fix" their hair- tucking his golden hairpin to subconsciously teach their associates and students that Professor (L/n) was his. He missed the way he would hide (L/n)'s lab coat just so he could make them wear his as he left for the day. He missed secretly leaving small love confessions on their class grade spreadsheets, add/drop forms, and even their private online journals so he would read messages about how they must've caught a computer virus. He missed teasing them when they hadn't got a clue that he was unserious. He missed hearing (L/n) whine. He missed the way it made him warm.

He missed the warmth.

"Stop..."

He missed you.

"Stop this..."

And he continues to miss his (Y/n) so much.

"Please..."

It's unbearable.

There is no one else.

Yes, there is! I refuse to believe it! It's your recent lab partner, isn't it!? The man everyone has fallen for— you have taken a liking to him more than me, the person who has been with you all this time!!! You… You ungrateful!—

Veritas is so, so tired and more chipped than the rock he had worked on… Unlike the statue, he cannot tangibly pick up the pieces (L/n) that broke him in. There's only a hollow void of what could've been.

Why... Why did they have to reject him? If they hadn't rejected him, he wouldn't have coldly assigned (Y/n) to deal with the containment breach alone. He would've thought it through. He would've realized he was plagued with ignorance. He would've changed so many things that February 5th.

But that's all there was to it. Just "would have"s, not "have done"s.

Ngh–?! Why… did you... slap me…?

Veritas, maybe you should stop and look down and listen to us common-minded folks for once in your life! The simple fact is that you're just so out of reach. How can you love me, when you don't even understand me, Genius Ratio? How can you confess when you don't know what it's like to work for the knowledge you have? How can you love a "mundanite" like me?

… (Y/n)… T-That's simply untrue, and you are aware of that...

It's morning, an appropriate time to head back to his guest room.

When he was certain that he was alone, Veritas finally allowed himself to cry.

"There's no mistake that we both are- were idiots. We both failed to see that I'm a mundanite, just like you."

In contrast to his former roommate, Kaveh is an early riser. Not exactly a morning person, but a man of discipline nonetheless. Perhaps the concluded argument last night made his rise more motivating. He had no qualms with getting out of bed, heading straight to take a shower before drinking coffee with Himeko.

The morning was wordless but calm.

Whatever happened after he reentered the studio, however, was the exact opposite.

"Delam…?" Kaveh knelt with both knees down on the floor, shocked.

"Is that you…? Delam… Delam!!!"

You tilted your head.

Delam. That was the first word you've heard upon your birth or "rebirth", depending on whose narrative was at play. You first rose from your slumber much like an earth's crust would give way to a volcano. Warmth seeped from your chest and then throughout your body, filling you with life and newfound nerves. But no one was around. You had been observing the fading trail of wet footsteps, yet lacked the courage to leave the room.

Veritas was right. The rock does have life. And you have been awakened.

You looked human. You move human.

But you do not sound human.

"Delam! I-I can't believe this!"

For words fail.

「… Who are you?」

After all, since when can statues speak?

With unsteady legs, he attempted to approach your nearly nude figure. The sheet they used to keep out dust was the only cover you had. He pulled you in when he got close enough, and you wanted to squeak when he rested his nose on your shoulder. His breath tickled hot. However, his warm tears helped you to accept the melancholic reality.

"Delam! D-Delam, my sweetheart, my (Y-(Y/n)… A-Ah… Ah…"

Kaveh pulled back only to kiss your forehead. He was warm. You are not. Despite the fabrics he wore, you can feel his heat against your "skin". His heart was beating. Such an organ does not exist inside of you.

"(Y/n), my (Y/n)…" He gasped out between peppered kisses on your neck. "Mine… My heart has returned to me. Can you hear it too? It's beating again… It beats… I never thought I'd hear my heart again since you've been gone…"

His words made little sense to you, but you knew he liked your form. Kaveh's fingers traced around you, loving each inch, whether it was curved flesh or bone-like sharpness— he didn't care for he knew it was his (Y/n) (L/n).

He's so colorful. Reds, yellows, oranges, and even hints of blues and greens. It made you silently conscious about how you were a boring dull gray.

Warm, like the sun.

「… Baobei?」

"My (Y/n)… D-Delam…" Kaveh pressed his forehead against yours, your lips nearly touching.

You wiped his tears away.

Was that your name? (Y/n)…?

"Kaveh, what the hell are you doing?!"

The blonde man momentarily stopped cradling you out of shock.

This new man was all purples, blue, gold, and small taints of cyan and red. The expression he wore made you believe he might be covetous beyond mankind. There's a level of gluttonous greed in his anger that makes even the earth like yourself phased.

「… Who is he…?」

Both of them feel familiar to you, but you do not know why.

"Veritas!" Kaveh's eyes widened. "A miracle just happened— delam— they're—!"

"Put (Y/n) down this instant!!!"

Kaveh blinked.

"What… What did you say?"

"I said put them down, damn it! Who the hell are you, touching them so carelessly like they're yours?!"

Kaveh's eyebrows furrowed.

"How do you know that name?!" Kaveh yelled. "How did you know who (Y/n) is!?"

The doctor was equally confused.

Why would the ignorance-prone Kaveh know the name of his deceased love too?

Veritas has not talked about his old assistant to any breathing being for a long time. Talking felt like admitting that they were gone for good. But in this case, it produces a contrary result.

"Why the fuck wouldn't I?!"

"I don't know— maybe because you're not from Teyvat?!"

"What are you on, you imbecile?! Can you stop defiling them with your filthy hands?!" Veritas scowled and summoned his book. "Hands. Off."

The warning only made Kaveh even more possessive. He gently pushed you behind his back, glaring at him.

"No."

"Kaveh, you pestilence ridden—!!!"

"No, not until you tell me why the hell you know the name of my fiance!"

Veritas' heart sank.

… Fiance?

No… No, no way.

What's happening? How would that make sense?!

(Y/n) is his. Why should you belong to Kaveh?

"Are… are you insane?!" Veritas screamed. "I should've—"

"What?! Threw me off the Express?! I dare you!!!" Kaveh glared. "You knew you couldn't win against me alone, that's why your best bet was to knock me out— and you know it."

"Ngh."

Neither of them realized the greater reason as to why they knew the "same" person. The doctor may have jumped through various universes, but he had not done enough to notice a key factor.

There they were, claiming to love the image behind their animated statue— when they didn't know what it was they cried for.

"Just answer the question: who is (Y/n) to you?" Kaveh grumbled.

Somehow, he was far more frightening when his voice was calm and low. 

The usually diplomatic architect materialized his weapon out of thin air.

"Go on. Tell me."

The doctor stiffened. There was no way Veritas was losing this argument. 

It's unethical. Wholly unethical to appeal to pathos in this manner. To weave tales for his benefit.

But the end justifies the means.

Veritas flashed you a guilt-ridden expression…

Before he said the biggest lie known only to himself.

"Professor (Y/n) (L/n) is MY dead lover, and I molded the statue based on their appearance last night!" Veritas yanked a fistful of Kaveh's shirt and brought him closer. "So why are you claiming them as YOURS?!"

…

…

The sound of a cane hitting the floor stopped all hell from possibly breaking loose.

Welt Yang had one foot inside the room and one out the door. He wore a knowing and empathetic look. The others were behind him, looking particularly shaken up.

This screaming match was the worst the two ever had.

"Kaveh, Dr. Ratio, enough." He calmly spoke up. "I think I understand the confusion."

"Allow me to explain…"

"I'm surprised you have no comments on their flower-bespangled clothes, yet…" 

"The aesthetic is... tasteful. I like the headdress." 

"Of course, you like the crown of laurel…" 

"However–"

"Oh Lord Kusanali, here we go…"

Upon Welt's intervention, every piece started to fit together. The explanation was a frustratingly simple but difficult truth. (Y/n) (L/n) was not just one entity in the vast universe— there are inevitable variations.

The two eventually calmed down as they heard both sides. Veritas' (Y/n), who Kaveh later refers to as an "expy" as a placeholder name, was a professor— while Kaveh's "delam" was an archeologist. Almost the same, but not a complete copy-paste.

You, however, they are unsure of. No one knows yet if you do carry (Y/n)'s soul or if you're a mere replica. Veritas is working on the hypothesis that you were an adeptal tool who aided in freeing the vigilant yaksha from a malevolent Sumeru God.

But those bits of info doesn't matter in the end. Why?

Because they both love "you" deeply.

And these intelligent men can "learn" how to share.

"Are you not tired? Perhaps it is time I take over. Only a fool would work when completely drained." Dr. Ratio then added. "Does it not fall in my skilled hands to weave such clothing for them now? Even better than mere fabric, I'm willing to handle clay and mold it around their bo—"

"Considering how many fools can also calculate and perhaps wear an asbestos mask as a quirky character trait, it is surprising that the fool in front of me thinks he can show proficiency over a tedious task." Kaveh raised an eyebrow, seething at the thought of Veritas' unfair perverted touch lingering on your body, again.

"I think you are experiencing what is known as the Dunning-Kruger effect, as Mister Yang calls it." He added.

Veritas scoffed.

They may be revered both as geniuses in their fields, but they're reduced to kindergarten-like rivals when it comes to you. Their first order of business after another truce was to provide your clothes. Fortunately, Stelle's fashion sense was more unisex than anticipated so you borrowed hers in the meantime.

While you sat on the sofa with the bubbly March 7th, the two started planning your wardrobe. Kaveh returned later on the same evening with the most… floral clothes much to Veritas' dismay.

He missed seeing his version of (Y/n) who wore classic academic styles, not— whatever this was.

"It is mere confidence; no other variable is at play. The fool in question is the artisan responsible for the expeditious sculpting of the aforementioned statue within a singular nocturnal interval. A fact that eludes your appreciation, my less-than-appreciative and unskilled interlocutor."

Kaveh momentarily had the face of a man unpracticed in speech. People often forget that he majored in STEM, not HUMSS. Though he had some essay-based minors in his first & second years, he lacked preparation for Veritas' otherworldly vocabulary. Kaveh would whet his greatsword if Veritas said something bluntly deprecating.

Still, he can't deny that it was through Veritas' handiwork that made your hands as soft as Kaveh wanted them to be. And that secretly pisses him off.

You tilted your head.

Somehow, your creators are arguing again. 

"Are you threatening to rob me of the joys I have toiled nights for just to sate your shortlived desires, Veritas?" Kaveh rebuked him sternly. "I didn't know you were kind of a brat."

"I am only offering a hand. But it's clear that you are projecting onto me."

「You two–. 」

You tried to cut in, but can't utter a word…

"I'm not projecting! I know that once you prove you can make clothes, you'll kick me out of the Express, that's just the kind of man you are! Manipulative, arrogant—"

"And you're insecure. There is no more loathsome creature than a man who does not acknowledge his own hubris and repeats his mistakes."

「Master Veritas, Master Kaveh—. 」

You loathed to watch them fight for another round of meaningless squabbles. Why weren't you blessed with speech?

"Is that so? Do you seriously subscribe to that belief?"

"Why, of course."

"You should listen to better men than yourself, then."

"Oh c'mon, knock it off!!!" March cut in, giving them both a light smack with Veritas' book. "Can't you get along better? Your little darling looks upset!!!"

The two halted. She was right, you weren't comfortable. Veritas cleared his throat awkwardly while Kaveh looked down, both apologetic.

"See, Kaveh? Your persistence caused this."

"How is it MY fault?"

"I'm merely stating that the lack of options is bound to make them uneasy." Veritas deadpanned and handed you an IPC magazine he had been trying to get you to browse. "Why don't you pick to your liking? Don't worry about expenses. I have it covered."

"What?! Do you want them to wear those un-stylish clothes? Please, you just want to have them wear your brand!"

"Don't project your carnal possessiveness as my own." Veritas scoffed. But Kaveh was right. He missed seeing his (Y/n) wear his lab coat.

"Oh really?! Fine then! Let's ask (Y/n) what they really think!"

March sighed. "Guys, I think you're forgetting that you're fighting over clothes—"

But they didn't hear her. Nothing else mattered to those two except you. And you alone.

Their partner.

Their heart.

Their reason for living.

Hence, they yelled in unison.

"Who do you prefer, assistant? Him or me?!"

"Who do you prefer, delam? Him or me?!"

Taglist: @vennnnn-diagram, @meimeimeirin, @korianne, @prophecy-harmony, @shellofthewell, @sagekun,

[ddarker-dreams]

Lock, would you please explain the differences in your husband rotation when they're in a "normal state/character" compared to when they exhibit yandere tendencies/ are extremely yandere? I'd love to read your thoughts🖤!

this was such an interesting question that i've been thinking about it all day HGETJNKR

speaking in general terms, even when writing 'non-yandere' versions of the husband rotation, i still make them a lil weird. just a dash of unhinged. what changes depending on if they're yan or not is how willing they are to consciously impede on the reader's wishes for their personal gain. now, getting into specifics...

my take on non-yandere and yan chrollo

there are a lot of little specifics that change depending on the variation of the character i'm writing for, but we'd be here all day if i got into that. so, i'll be focusing on the most prominent differences. regarding mr. lucilfer, i consider the most pertinent changes to be: him divulging his identity to reader and how out of his way he goes to rope reader in.

yan chrollo holds off on revealing that he's the leader of the phantom troupe, but is eventually fine with you finding out. it serves a dual-purpose. first, you're Extra cognizant of the power difference, thwarting any potential shenanigans you might get up to. second, he can unapologetically be himself. non-yandere chrollo's fine expressing his apathy toward the plight of others in small, socially acceptable increments. he's less blunt about it overall because he doesn't want you to drift away from him.

then there's his manipulation of outside variables to scooch you his way. yan chrollo accepts subjecting you to some traumatic things as a 'means to an end,' whereas his non-yandere counterpart values your mental well-being more. thanks king. regardless, they're both going to stalk you to varying extents, utilizing morally ambiguous methods without any guilt. they're also both going to make liberal use of lying by omission.

non-yandere and yan gojo

i am physically incapable of writing gojo being normal toward reader. it'd lack the pièce de résistance. that being said, non-yandere gojo is weird and yan gojo is weird with malicious intent. i'm not sure if that makes any sense, so allow me to elaborate.

they're both not the best with respecting boundaries, although in non-yandere gojo's case, that'd improve slightly with age. i always write reader as having attended high school with him because that's the dynamic i find most intriguing. in both cases, gojo in his teenage years is going to be obnoxious and unapologetic about keeping your eyes on him. non-yandere gojo deviates in his ability to mature by trusting you enough to believe you when you say you're not going anywhere. yandere gojo always has that gnawing fear that he'll end up with no one who can truly understand him if he isn't vigilant.

either way, you're not locked up in some dungeon where you'll never see the light of day, which is a boon. they're both content to let you interact with geto & shoko in your high school years, as well as their students into adulthood. selfish as yan gojo can be, his dream of the next generation usurping the status quo is paramount. he believes your influence too invaluable to deprive his students of. they both complain about how much you dote on megumi though.

non-yandere and yan scara

... ahem. the differences here are less pronounced. a driving factor behind scaramouche's character is his fear of abandonment, along with the resentment from the betrayals he previously experienced. they're both not the easiest people to be in a relationship with (or the healthiest). there's always going to be some level of codependency with non-yandere scaramouche. his yandere variation just cranks that to the highest setting.

the key difference lies within your ability to steer him away from being a weirdo. there's a skill ceiling for yan scaramouche, you can only make it so far. non-yandere scaramouche, on the other hand, has a sliver of hope. it'd require a mind-numbing amount of patience and forgiveness, but it's technically possible. everything comes down to how much you love him at his worst. should you accept him, albeit with some conditions (such as him being more honest with his feelings), he will make a legitimate effort to reform himself.

anything else nets you a bad end. he's emotionally volatile and prone to callousness. it isn't like yan scaramouche wants you to hate him — he's driven by paranoia. compounded by your understandable distaste for his new, restrictive behavior, he ends up saying things he'll later regret. tl;dr scara is eevee and will evolve into a slightly normal partner or yandere depending on your stats.

non-yandere and yan blade

somehow the most normal from this lineup?????? not that that's an achievement, since that bar's in hell, but it's still kinda funny.

unlike the other weirdos on this list, non-yandere blade could come to accept if you loved another. it isn't inconceivable or a reality he'd seek to alter. if anything, non-yandere blade would find your romantic interest in him far more perplexing. he's a jaded, immortal weapon who guiltlessly sheds blood. he knows you deserve better and that you're likable enough to find another partner. said partner would be subject to his scrutiny, but he wouldn't be vehemently opposed.

yandere blade thinks a similar way. what changes is his self-restraint — or lack, thereof. would you be happier with another? yes. can he love you the way you deserve? absolutely not. that doesn't remedy the incessant urge to possess you. you don't even have to like him back, per se, just having you around satisfies him. you quench this hunger that his non-yandere self ignores (with great difficulty).

here's to hoping this makes any sense 😭...

[simplyafountainpen]

Upside-Down Tea Parties

{𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼}: Queen's Grandson!Reader x the Phantomhive Estate

{𝓓𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷}: Queen Victoria needed a place to send (Y/n) for safe keeping, and much to their chagrin, The Phantomhive Estate is chosen. Can they survive the child's shenanigan's?

{𝓣𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓼}: Found family, chaotic behavior, fluff, small amount of angst, self harm mentioned once(1), Child!Reader, Wonderland themed!Reader, Reader is impiled to be around Ciel's age

{𝓡𝓮𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓽}: ❝I absolutely adore all of your writings!! They're just so immaculately written! Could you make a story where the reader is grandson of the Queen, and she sends him to the Phantomhive estate? And, so, Ciel (in addition to Sebastian, Mey-Rin, Finnie, and Baldroy with a part in there) has to look after him. Fluff, and a bit of chaos. X)❞ - Anon

"Dear Lord Phantomhive,

It has come to my attention that my Grandson, Prince (Y/n), is not safe within castle walls. Recently he has been subject to a plethora of attacks on his life, such as poisoning and false guards attempting assassination in the night. I believe it would be in my best interests to send him with a closely trusted confidant, which would be you. You're both rather close in age, you see, and he has long needed someone to confide in. I do hope you understand these circumstances, and I hope that I may ensure his safety with you. Oh what am I saying, naturally he'll be safe with you, my Guard Dog.

When you receive this letter, I expect you to hurry your way to the Royal Palace Immediately. I cannot send him, we have no lesser carriages on hand. So I send for you, Lord Phantomhive.

I am sure you will not let me down.

With much Sincerity and Haste,

Elizabeth R"

·:¨༺ ♱✮¨:·ᨐฅ ᨐᵐᵉᵒʷ·:¨✮♱ ༻¨:·˚─── ⋆⋅⛥⋅⋆ ──

{𝓒𝓲𝓮𝓵 𝓟.𝓞.𝓥}

Ciel was more than pissed. He was a Noble! A detective if anything, and the Queen's GUARD DOG. He was not, in no way shape or form, a babysitter.

And yet, here he sat, in his now cramped-feeling carriage with Her Majesty’s grandson. Just great. Amazing, even.

He glared at the boy in question who leaned casually against the plush seats of the carriage. His stupid dazed and slight smile with painted lips. His clothes, much more expensive then the ones Ciel had on of course, with their many ruffles and lace trimmings and his idiotic, shiny, well kept hair. It was safe to say Ciel hated him.

What's more, he was suspicious of this "(Y/n)" character, especially the personal bag he held beside him. He simply insisted that the bag stayed by him, even nearly biting Sebastian’s wrist when he insisted he place it with the rest of his luggage.

‘How absurd.’ Thought Ciel. He could just barely see the similarities between this child and the Queen. The eye shape and overall disposition, but beyond those two things, nothing.

(Y/n) seemed nothing like his grandmother.

“Are you going to keep staring at me like that, my dear Alice?” Ciel flinched at his words, snapping out of his internal monologue of everything wrong with this (Y/n).

“… What did you just call me?” (Y/n) giggled slowly, lazily, showing off his long, white fangs and sharpened teeth. The back of his throat, when it opened so wide, had bits of gold leaf stuck to the back, perhaps from food or medication?

“Alice, my dear I of course called you Alice! The mousy structure and your curiosity towards my being speak it so, my darling Alice. Even through your one eye I sense an air of mystery surrounding thee, and as such you do not belong, my charming, darling Alice you.” He spoke in a sing-song manner, before leaning close, eyes covered in shadow and lips in a teasing smirk.

“No, you do not belong in this wonderland of ours, do you mine own Alice?” Ciel shivered at his tone, light and airy voice becoming dark and gravelly in a moment. Before he could refute, the carriage stopped and the sound of someone walking filled both boys ears and the door opened, revealing Sebastian.

“Your Majesty, Young Master.” He held a hand out, and (Y/n) gleefully took it, his bag in hand, hopping down the step of the steps while muttering ‘hop, hop’ under his breath, turning around and giving Ciel a large smile. Ciel groaned, ignoring Sebastian’s hand and climbing down himself, trekking up the stairs to his manor, you behind him and Sebastian quickly making his way beside him after retrieving your other, many bags.

Ciel, despite having a demon by his side, refused to believe in any kind of merciful God. But despite this, he found himself nearly praying that everything in the house was in order, having left Finnie, Mey-rin and Baldroy by themselves, against his will. Obviously.

Sebastian opened the door, letting both Ciel and the boy behind him in, said door shutting immediately behind them.

To Ciel’s shock and utter surprise, the floors were polished and everything dusted in the main hall, nothing out of place. No noticeable fires, no screaming, nothing broken on the ground… odd.

“Come, Your Majesty. First Sebastian will show you to your room, then we will meet back in study. Dinner will then be served not long after, around six. Does this please you?" Even if Ciel didn't much like this (Y/n), he had to show repect. He'd rather not the odd boy running home and complaining about Ciel to his grandmother. What a world of trouble that would create.

"Oh more than, dear Alice!" Sebastian looked between him and (Y/n) with a curious glance, "I suppose then I shall see you in but a moment! Come now, mine White Rabbit!" (Y/n) smiled at Sebastian who looked confused at the newfound nickname. Then, without knowing where he was headed, that child began to walk off, humming a song Ciel had never heard before, marching up the stairs and out of sight, Sebastian following close behind with bags in hand.

This was going to be a stressful while.

·:¨༺ ♱✮¨:·ᨐฅ ᨐᵐᵉᵒʷ·:¨✮♱ ༻¨:·˚─── ⋆⋅⛥⋅⋆ ──

{𝓡𝓮𝓰𝓾𝓵𝓪𝓻 𝓟.𝓞.𝓥}

You marched with a purpose now behind the White Rabbit, humming all the while. Your personal bag hung heavily on your shoulder but you didn't mind, swinging it merrily all the while. You didn't care to acknowledge the strange looks the White Rabbit gave you, only to continue humming. Eventually your humming turned to singing under your breath, which quickly turned to belting the lyrics and dancing, grabbing the White Rabbit by the arms, forcing him to drop you things, and you dropping your held bag, spinning the both of you around in the hall you both currently inhabited.

"Speak roughly to your little boy, and beat him when he sneezes;

He only does it to annoy,

Because he knows it teases! Wow, wow, wow!"

You spun the White Rabbit faster, your natural grin growing much wider than normal, heels clicking quickly across the floor. You could feel his gaze across your skin, confused and intrigued you supposed. Though again, you did not care, and only continued to sing.

"I speak severely to my boy,

I beat him when he sneezes;

For he can thoroughly enjoy

The pepper when he pleases! Wow wow wow!"

Once that last wow left your lips you let out loud, boisterous laughter, tripping over one of your many bags and falling on the floor, your head landing harshly on the wood. The White Rabbit rushed over but you didn't much care, only continuing to laugh. You hands shot to your face to wipe away the tears that had yet to spill down your cheeks.

"Your Majesty, are you alright?" You registered his voice but the hilarity of the situation was to much to bear, so you did not respond. Instead you though about how hilarious it was that someone such as yourself, would fall and bump your head. It was silly, almost mocking, as you knew you were not right in the noggin. The bump might've jostled things even further out of place you mused.

Finally you peeked at Mr. Rabbit through your fingers, lazed smile still perched on your lips. You simply reached a hand up, prompting him to pull you up. You quickly wretched you hand away and picked up your bag again, waiting on him to pick up the rest, ignoring his questions. Your heels tapped the floor as you fiddled with the hair on you head, pulling a few strands out from your scalp and staring at them. After a moment, he had finally grabbed all your items with a sigh, continuing to lead you both to what would be your current room.

No more did you hum or sing, taking more interest with the lace on your shirt and the buttons on your pants. Your eyes were dazed, as though you no longer there as you listened to the breathing in the hall. You knew your own breath, slow and calm no matter the situation, but the White Rabbit, your hard-working White Rabbit, no he did not breath. His chest was still, far too still of something that still acquired that thing dubbed "humanity". You began to snicker again, breaking the silence that had fallen over you two, the White Rabbit only glancing at you now.

You both made it to your room, you running over to your bed and flopping down across it, bag falling off your arm and finding it's place on the bed beside you. You rolled across the covers, laughing once more. The White Rabbit only stared as you stopped and sucked in a deep breath, sitting up suddenly and facing him, pointing a finger.

"Oh White Rabbit, how your nose twitches so, dost thou not need to return to your Alice? I am assured that I may be able to place all of mine own belongings in their preferred spots," a giggle erupted from your throat before you continued, "Clothes to the ceiling and shoes in the drawers, undergarments under the bed, makeup in the bath. They whisper to me so. Should you not go you will witness them dancing to made-up songs that only whisper in my head to the beat of the crickets outside and the ants that march through the walls. Again, I believe it in your best interests to return to that darling Alice, or I will take a letter opener to my eye and paint this bed spread red!" Your threat was well laced in cheer and joy, as though you had just said the most wonderous thing in the world.

The White Rabbit's eyes widened if only a fraction of an inch, though that same, laxed expression he had held the whole time remained. He silently nodded, something you giggled at again, then stiffly walked out the door, which he shut behind him. Once the White Rabbit left, your smile dropped as you immediately began to dig through the bag you had carried in yourself until you came across a small spherical container.

Opening the container you found your pills, rolled to perfection and doused in gold leaf. You sighed, seeing you had enough to last more than a few months. Your grandmo- The White Queen usually ordered them in mass so you wouldn't run out for a long while in case of emergency. You took a quick breath and put them back, right next to the caterpillar themed hookah with many different flavored tobaccos - called shisha you mused to yourself - and small water capsules you carried with you everywhere incase you truly felt you needed to relax.

"Hello mister Dormouse." You whispered as a rather large brown mouse creeped out of your bag, nose twitching and huffing at the new air around him, collar of lace with a blue ribbon with a sugar cube charm shaking slightly. You giggled, picking up the still small compared to you mouse and placed him into your pocket. "Tea time is later and naturally I need my Dormouse." He squeaked in agreement.

You closed that bag and hopped up to another, opening it to find the bottom covering in soft grasses, a brown hare staring back at you.

"And you, my March Hare, must also be with me for our future tea time." You grinned, and the March Hare chittered. His collar, which was lace with a yellow ribbon, golden pocket watch attached to the large bow tied in the front. You opened you coat to reveal a few pockets inside, one big enough for the rabbit, which is exactly where you placed him.

"Both of you, still and silent as the night now, understood?" Both seemingly nodded and you smiled, happy to feel both their warmth's against you.

You silently closed the March Hare's bag, wondering over to the bag that held your clothes. Now to find a way to reach the ceiling...

·:¨༺ ♱✮¨:·ᨐฅ ᨐᵐᵉᵒʷ·:¨✮♱ ༻¨:·˚─── ⋆⋅⛥⋅⋆ ──

It was silent as you and the White Rabbit walked down the halls once more, no humming or singing from you. You knew your pupils were enlarged and you were swaying, however, your body ready for your needed drugs, to which one was slipped into the pocket opposite of the Dormouse. However, you eventually got tired of walking so you rushed up to the White Rabbit, pulling on his tail coat.

"Yes, Your Majesty?" He asked, turning to face you. You looked down, embarrassed, before lifting your arms and making a grabbing motion. "Would you like me too... pick you up?" He then questioned.

"...Piggy back ride please..." You muttered, still looking down. The White Rabbit stared for a moment, making your embarrassment grow, until he chuckled. Your head raced up, about to speak, before he pulled you up, grabbing under your thighs to make sure you were secure.

"Is this comfortable, Your Majesty?" You nodded, pushing your head into his shirt as the White Rabbit then took you to meet Alice in his study. Silence filled the hall again, minus the footsteps of the White Rabbit. You could get used to this. Usually the cards at your own home didn't like picking you up much, complaining that you were old enough to walk by yourself or that as the Prince you should be better and blah blah blah...

... You liked the White Rabbit. He was nice.

And you noted he said nothing when you nuzzled further into his neck.

The door to the study creaked open, Alice sitting behind his desk working on paperwork. You never much liked paperwork, preferring to read stories over it, making your usual butler mad. Alice looked up and promptly took note of you being on the White Rabbit's back.

You whined when he began to put you down but allowed him to anyway, rubbing at your eyes for but a moment before racing over to the front of Alice's desk.

"What are you working on, my dear Alice?" He grunted, making eye contact with you for only a moment before looking back down at the work, pen gliding gracefully across the papers.

"Simply looking over some reports, Your Majesty." He replied, now glaring at some of the work. "Reports for what?" You question, Alice sucked through his teeth, now looking annoyed, but he calmed himself before responding.

"My company." "And what would that be?" You could tell he was quickly losing his patience with you but continued to keep his cool, admirable in your eyes. You had overheard from staff that you could be quite annoying.

"The Fumtom Corporation. More specifically, these reports are from the toy branch and-" "YOU SELL TOYS!?!" Your absolute surprise and joy caught the two men off guard, especially when you slammed you hands down on Alice's desk and began to jump with palms still firmly placed on the mahogany surface of the desk, each leap going higher and higher into the air, until you were practically doing a handstand on Alice's desk. You steadied yourself on your hands, still looking on in wonder at Alice. The White Rabbit had appeared behind you - to catch you if you fell, you supposed - but you held steady, instead walking on your hands to Alice.

Once you were both practically face you face, your amazed face broke out into the widest grin seen yet, and you ensured all of your amazingly sharp teeth were on display.

"Oh tell me, dear Alice, yes please tell me: What amazingly wondrous toys does this Corporation of yours create? What wonders do you give the children on the streets to brighten up their days and mayhaps even brighten up their weeks? What joyous little bundles do you leave within their arms to warm up their tiny spirits and light up their eyes, to send them into the embrace of hope and lighten up their lives? Oh please my Alice, leave me not in suspense! Tell me now, oh tell me please!" As you spoke, you leaned and walked closer until both your noses were practically touching, eyes meeting his extremely confused and perhaps even frightened one with your own filled with nothing but joy and euphoria.

"We... make make stuffed animals, most notably a white rabbit named Bitter Rabbit," you giggled and the White Rabbit snuffed out a sigh, "toy trains, planes, various board games, card games, dolls and doll houses, and much more." Your smile somehow grew as your legs began to lean forward, Alice stifling a sound of fear and Mr. Rabbit rushing to the side of the desk to catch you, till your feet landed on the top of Alice's chair and you flipped up, now standing on edge of the back of chair.

You turned to face the same way Alice did and leaned plus crouched down till your head was next to Alice's.

"How joyous this is, my darling Alice. As I am here, may I ask for some toys? I quite enjoy them, as you may be able to see if one takes the venture to mine room within the White Castle and find my rather impressive collection. One made of many years simple loneliness. I would like you to be the first to see it, and it is quite extensive, I might add. More than anything though, I would adore adding your toys to my collection-" before you could continue on your sudden rant, the doors to the study opened up, revealing a smaller girl with red hair and some of the thickest-yet-most-flimsy looking glasses you have ever seen in your live.

"Five of spades..." You muttered, all of your attention off Alice now, though you did notice how tension seemed to leave his shoulders as you stood back up on the back of his chair.

"U-uhm... dinner is ready, Master Ciel. A-AND YOUR MAJESTY!!-" With a squeak, the card quickly exited the room, igniting yet another smile across your face.

"A hunt has begun! Let us make haste men, grab your guns and hounds and let us be off! Away with us, away!!" As you shouted, you leapt off the back of the chair, landing on an empty part of Alice's desk, then jumped off the desk and ran off into the hall, hollering and whooping all the while. You cared not to look back and see if Alice and the White Rabbit were following behind, rushing after the card who only seemed to squeak louder and run faster.

You dared not overrun her, for if you did the odds of you missing the dinning room were high, seeing as that was where she most likely would be running to, it was fresh on the mind after all. But run too slow and you would surely lose her in these winding halls. So you paced yourself, making sure you didn't employ the same tactics you may have used at home, such as leaping over other servants or furniture, or running and jumping across the walls.

You threw your hands in the air, whooping once more as you hurried, the card turned another corner and into a room, and upon entering this room, you came across a table with a beautiful spread, not caring if a few items were lightly burnt. You awed at the table, completely forgetting about the Five of Spades that ran into a door off of the room.

You were stagnate as Alice and the White Rabbit entered the room. Slowly you turned to them, sharp teeth fully on display. With another sharp turn, you skipped down to the head of the table, and took the seat that would usually be Alice's, or so you assumed anyway.

"Let us play a game. I will pretend to be Alice during this meal so graciously prepared in what I can only assume to be my name, and Alice pretend to be me!! My White Rabbit, come to me! Or should I call thee, Sebastian?" Your voice voice was condescending and patronizing, your grin turning more into a smirk as you crossed you legs. The duo looked at each other and you could tell Alice was getting tired of your games, but once more, due to your staggering lineage, he was forced to obey.

"Fine, Your Majesty-" Ah ah ah! I am no longer "Your Majesty"! I am Ciel Phantomhive, earl of the Phantomhive name, The Queen's Guard dog and master of the Funtom Corporation. YOU, are now "His Majesty”, dear (Y/n)." Your sudden slipping into the role genuinely impressed them, judging by their slightly widened eyes. You hand raised and you snapped, grin washing off your face as an expression far to similar to Alice's crossed over your eyes.

"Sebastian, did I not call for you?" You voice lowered, becoming more serious and bold. You pointed to you side and stiffly did the White Rabbit come. You coughed into your fist to get his attention, looking up at him with one of your eyes closed.

"Thank you, if you would begin serving us..?" The White Rabbit nodded and started piling plates, while you turned back to Alice. "And how has this day been so far, Your Majesty? I am assured that everything was too your liking?" You clasped your hands and leaned onto the table, not flinching at the plate set before you.

"It.. was fine... Alice?" He was confused, which was fair, but at the very least Alice was playing along, which was much better then what your were expecting of him. Though, you had to continue to play your part, and as such, you smirked.

"Wonderful to hear. Now, after dinner I've planned-" You were cut off by a scream, similar to that of the squeak the Five of Spades made as she ran. Glancing back at the door she entered, you made a noise of amazement as said Five of Spades ran out of the room, the bottom of her dress on fire. Following her was the Seven of Spades and the Two of Spades, the Seven holding a flamethrower and the Two holding a bucket of water.

The game was long forgotten in your mind as you jumped up and laughed at the scene, chair clattering behind you as you raised your hands to clap. Alice also stood, though an expression akin to rage crossed his face, but before he could call the White Rabbit, the Five of Spades tripped, and the Seven flew over her onto the table with the flamethrower igniting. The tablecloth caught fire and burst into flame. The Two of Spades dropped his bucket and grabbed the Seven with one hand, pulling him off. His other hand was occupied by his straw hat, fanning the flames and making them higher.

Instead of running or screaming or any other reaction you knew would've been natural, you screamed in glee at the chaos, closing your coat so the flames wouldn't lick your or the March Hare's skin and fur. You laughed gayly and loudly, your amusement overshadowing every other scream and shout through the room. That excitement was quickly snuffed, however, when the White Rabbit grabbed the bucket the Two of Spades had forgotten and threw it at the fire, calming the flames if only by a little. Though, he took that chance and lifted the large tablecloth with now charred food, rushing it behind that door they kept running behind. You rushed behind him, your own safety at the back of your mind, bursting through the half-closed door to watch him shove the cloth and food into a full sink, plates and utensils be dammed.

"MEY-RIN! BALDROY!! FINNIE!! WHAT WAS THAT?!?" It seemed that Alice had finally snapped. You glanced at the White Rabbit who stared back at you with a blank expression, until you giggled and skipped out the room.

Entering the room, the three cards were on their knees as Alice all but shouted at them, spewing insults and otherwise, emphasizing the fact that something of that caliber should not have happened in front of you. You chuckled, and Alice's head whipped back to you in shock. You continued to skip over, moving past Alice to the cards.

"Now now, don't listen to this mean old Alice, I personally think it was a whirlwind of fun!" Alice sputtered behind you but you shushed her quickly and continued. "He may wish for punishment but I say bring us more merriment! Which of you cooked that would-have-been wonderful feast?" The Seven of Spades meekly raised a hand, cigarette nearly falling from his trembling lips.

"Well, my fair fellow, how would you say you do in the world of sugary confectionaries?" He looked confused for a moment, until the Two of Spades nudged him, causing him to cough and respond quickly.

"I'd say fair, s-sir? YOUR MAJESTY- I mean-" You nodded and pushed a hand to your chin, smiling.

"Then, my fair Seven of Spades, how fast do you think you could get us a couple batches of cookies and tarts? Perhaps even some small cakes or cakes of the cup variety?" The blond nodded with a now thoughtful expression.

"We have some cookies and cakes in the back including of the... uhm... cup? Variety?? But in terms of tarts... that'd take at least an hour... unless I sped things up with my flamethrower!" As if timed, a piece of the card's hair set back alight, the cards beside him slapped their heads as Alice geared up to start screaming again, then you interrupted with even more joyous laughter.

"Good, good! Then be off, fair fellow! My fair Seven of Spades be off, I will come with you in this endeavor and we will create the best tarts this accursed world has ever seen! Let us make haste, my glorious card! Come, come!" You pulled on his sleeve and dragged him away leaving behind an incredulous looking Alice and two very confused cards.

·:¨༺ ♱✮¨:·ᨐฅ ᨐᵐᵉᵒʷ·:¨✮♱ ༻¨:·˚─── ⋆⋅⛥⋅⋆ ──

The others looked at you as if you were God. Not one thing on the trays were burnt, and neither were you nor the Seven of Spades. No one was able to ask any questions as you helped set the table back up, setting down treats, treats, and more treats. You then helped move tea pots and cups all across the table, though there were multiple sets placed down, each was of different color and some you could tell Alice began to realize he didn't own.

"Uhm... Y-Your Majesty? Not to be rude or speak out of turn or anything like that but uhm... why do you have so many tea sets?" You turned to look at the Five of Spades, who was sweating behind her glasses. You ginned, and chuckled, before pressing a hand to your chest.

"Why my dear, darling Five of Spades, it's to play my absolute favorite game of course! I'll explain the rules when all the cups have been filled!" You danced around the table, filling each cup with tea from different teapots, even if the cup didn't match the pot. You placed different sweets all around as well scattering them in a random pattern that made no sense to those next to you.

Finally you stopped, staring at your hard work. You were more than excited to finally start the game. Picking up a teacup, you swapped it for another, then another, then another and another and another. You switched tea cups around at a rapid pace, not one ending up in its previous position. You began to laugh once more, the laughter bubbling up through your throat and echoing through the hall as you ran around the table with tea cups balancing on you shoulders and head, placing them down. You began to hum again, the White Rabbit straitening up behind you with tension in his shoulders, Alice and the cards looking at him curiously. And just as in the hall with the White Rabbit, you began to sing.

"I sent a message to the fish: I told them "This is what I wish."

The little fishes of the sea They sent an answer back to me.

The little fishes' answer was "We cannot do it, sir, because—"

I sent to them again to say "It will be better to obey."

The fishes answered, with a grin, "Why, what a temper you are in!"

I told them once, I told them twice: They would not listen to advice.

I took a kettle large and new, Fit for the deed I had to do.

My heart went hop, my heart went thump; I filled the kettle at the pump.

Then some one came to me, and said, "The little fishes are in bed."

I said to him, I said it plain, "Then you must wake them up again."

I said it very loud and clear; I went and shouted in his ear.

But he was very stiff and proud; He said, "You needn't shout so loud!"

And he was very proud and stiff; He said, "I'd go and wake them, if—"

I took a corkscrew from the shelf: I went to wake them up myself.

And when I found the door was locked, I pulled and pushed, and kicked and knocked.

And when I found the door was shut, I tried to turn the handle, but—"

You abruptly stopped singing when you reached the head of the table once more, your eyes creased from the wide smile on your face. Your mirth even transferred to the cards. You yanked the chair from its spot, standing on it and pulling a teacup and spoon up with you, uncaring of anything that spilled over the rim.

"Here this, my loyal subjects, as I announce the game of the evening! We will be playing such a game that includes all of you! So, take a seat at this fine table, I implore you!" Your voice was strong and steady, everyone taking a seat as soon as you commanded it. Your grin grew wider, then you cleared your throat and continued. "We will partake in a game where each of you will have thirty seconds to drink from a tea cup and guess what kind of tea you have drank, each one you get correct, you receive a point! To whomever has the most points at the conclusion of this most esteemed game, will win! Any questions?" A hand was raised, that hand belonging to the blond Two of Spades.

"Err... how will we know who got a guess right?" You nodded at the question, it was fair, you supposed.

"Well, my dear Two of Spades, I know what tea is in each of these darling cups as I was the one to pour them! And what a horrid game master I would be if I should not remember?" You giggled gleefully while the group stared at the thirty-plus cups on the table and you with confusion. You sat back down and grabbed a strawberry tart, shoving a mouthful in and humming at the taste.

"Are we ready to begin?" You spoke through the mouthful, Alice cringing. You cleared your throat once more before gasping. "Oh I nearly forgot!" You cried as you reached into an outer pocket and an inner pocket on your coat, pulling the March Hare and Dormouse from their hiding spots.

Your playmates looked flabbergasted at the sudden appearance of your companions, both of which were already making their rounds, sampling some treats and teas. Before a single complaint could be made, you waved them off with that continuous smile of yours. You took another tart and scarfed it down in milliseconds, coughing a bit, then looking back up. With a happy grunt you lifted three fingers and silently started counting down. Once all three fingers were down, the game begun.

You watched with bated breath as everyone started aggressively sipping their teas and trying to throw out answers as quickly as possible, compared to your leisurely pace and slow stirring when it wasn't sweet enough. Moreover, you watched as they jumped when the March Hare started doing his job and swapped tea cups around and refilled them with tea. You noted every answer and every new batch of tea with keen eyes, humming to yourself as time passed. You didn't say a word either, when the March Hare pushed a tea cup to Alice and instead of tea, the boy found a sleeping Dormouse. Though, he didn't find him by looking into the cup, oh no. He found the poor thing when he went to take a sip, not paying attention because he was glaring at the White Rabbit. The Two of Spades was doing horribly, only guessing one right and you were one-hundred-percent sure it was by pure luck and chance, which made you snort tea out your nose and hacking up chocked laughs. The Five and Seven of Spades were doing alright over all, but that White Hare was getting all of them right. He tried to miss one on purpose but you heard him mutter the teas correct name under his breath. Why he'd want to lose was beyond you but it would be a good laugh.

But Alice... poor sweet Alice... no he was doing fine. You were winning for obvious reason, Alice and the White Hare tied hand-in-hand. And finally, the unofficial time you had placed came to an end.

Without warning, you threw your teacup into the air mid sip, watching as it came crashing down onto the floor. Everyone jumped - minus you, the March Hare, and the Dormouse - and quickly turned to you, who only stood.

"The game has finished my friends, and the ranking - that of which will be read from worst to best - is as follows: Two of Spades in sixth, Seven of Spades in fifth, Five of Spades in fourth, Alice in third, The White Rabbit in second, and, naturally, Your Royal Highness in first!" You - once more - didn't care to see their faces as you named the results, simply standing still with your wide grin on your face, till you felt a small nudge on your hand. The Dormouse lightly patted you hand and motioned to your pocket. You tilted your head, not paying attention to the others whom had began to speak.

"Do you wish to be in my pocket again?" You suddenly spoke out, heads turning back to you. The Dormouse shook his head, pawing at your pocket with more concern now, the March Hare joining him in pawing at your pocket. Curious now, you shoved a hand into the pocket, pulling a small pill, still covered in gold leaf, out.

Your eyes widened and you gasped, you had completely forgotten about your medication! Quickly searching the table, you grabbed a piece of chocolate cake and a random cup of tea - you didn't care any longer which teas were in which cups - and took a bite and long gulp, shoving the pill in with the mixture in your mouth.

You could feel their gazes burning into you as you swallowed the impromptu concoction. You looked back at your companions who now seemed even happier, the March Hare even beginning to preform binkies in the air. You giggled and clapped at the sight of the tricks, only coming back to reality when someone coughed. It had been Alice.

“Your Majesty, if I may be as so bold as to ask, what was that pill you just took for?” You could tell by his tone that he knew exactly what it was, but wanted you to confirm it. You hummed, sticking a hand out onto the table and allowing the Dormouse to clamber onto your shoulders, then picking up the March Hare and running fingers through his fur. After a moment of consideration, you sighed, all traces of merriment and happiness dropping from your face in an instant, everyone flinching at the sudden change.

“Well, my dear, questioning Alice, ‘tis a pill I am made to take with every meal I eat. A pill, my grandmother says, that will lessen these “wild thoughts” of mine that run rampant through the cage that is my mind. A pill that will turn my splendor and pleasure into harsh work ethic that I can use so I may one day hold title to the crown, a pill that takes that marvelous Wonderland that has so carved its way into my very being and crushes it till it’s nothing but the faintest voice at the back of my head, whispering sweet nothings or wildness and adventure. A pill that will make the cards of the White Castle stop laughing at me behind my back, a pill that will make the doctors quit telling her that I am no good, better off in the looney-bin.”

You paused to take a breath, letting go of the March Hare as you noted you were squeezing him rather than carding fingers through his hair. You barely noticed your breathing got heavy, acutely aware of the Dormouse on your shoulders, you shuddered. A tense smile over took your face, much more strained compared to every other smile of the night, your teeth, sharp and shark-like, were on full display.

“Do you know, my poor traumatized Alice,” you hear him scoff but quickly shushed him with a loud ‘shhh’, finger flying across your chapped lips in a shushing motion - when did your lips get chapped?, “Have you ever been to an asylum? Where they poke and prod at you like some kind of animal? Like something to study, to better understand? With their to-small-scalpels and to-large-stethoscopes. With drugs with names to long and complicated you could never hope to pronounce and those awful awful jackets of a tarp-like material, though much to stretchy-yet-scratchy to be tarp, with their terrible shiny buckles and fresh smelling leather straps? Or perhaps even those god forsaken bits that jam in your mouth, uncaring if your lips begin to bleed, to make sure you can’t scream or cry for help and plead for forgiveness. Forgiveness when they throw you to the floor or lock you in a room by yourself because you were moving to much or didn’t take your medication. Have you, my darling-yet-daring, calm-yet-wild, collected-yet-crazy, close yet oh so far Alice? Could you ever understand?!?”

You didn’t know when your voice raised an octave or when tears threatened your eyes but you quickly wiped them away, uncaring of the makeup now slathering your sleeve. Your teeth clenched as tears finally welled up in your eyes and began to flood your cheeks, breath growing harsher and harsher. The world seemed so far away, the table you were supposed to be standing at was so big, the chair behind you so small. Your sleeves fell over your hands as you hiccupped, rubbing aggressively at you eyes, irritating your skin until it became a bright red. Someone, you could not see who, gripped your arm to try and wretch it back, but you only screamed and scratched at the arm that grabbed at you, scooting away and curling in on yourself.

You hadn't meant to spill that much. You knew you were like that of a tea pot with a leak, constantly spilling parts of yourself to the world without meaning too. But to blow up like that was not on your agenda for the day, oh no it wasn't. And now you were paying the price for it, whining and whimpering into your knees as you sat on the floor. You rocked back and forth, sobbing silently as memories of your short time in "that place" flew to the backs of your eyelids, but before anymore could fill any space in your head, the softness of a duvet landed over your body. The Dormouse squeaked and you immediately reached back on your shoulders and took him into your palms. You pressed your face into his small body, letting arms wrap around you and lift you up bridal style, snuggling into the sudden warmth of the duvet combined with body heat. Next to the Dormouse, the March Hare appeared in you lap. You head lay on the persons chest as the light of the dining room faded into the distance, as did your consciousness.

Vaguely, you could hear voices of Alice and the White Rabbit mixing with spinning rooms and the small bugs swimming in your eyes. The softness of your bed met you back carefully and your just laid there, half there and not, medication flowing through your veins and “calming” your nerves.

"Master, what shall we do?" "I don't think there is much we can do. Neither of us have experience in calming down Royalty, after all." "Neither of us have tried." "Do you have any ideas, Sebastian?" "..." "As I thought. This is a delicate situation. I believe it best if we leave-"

Before he could say it, your arm shot out and grabbed Alice's sleeve, evidently startling the two.

"My bag, the one I carried in. Would you please grab it for me." You whispered, and the White Rabbit hummed, walking over to the chair you haphazardly threw it on. You sat up as he came back, Alice watching curiously. You snatched the bag from his grip and threw it on the bed, both the Dormouse and March Hare looking on in what you could assume to be animalistic worry. You gipped a small capsule of water and some mint flavored shisha in one hand, the actual hookah in the other.

Taking them out, you didn't look up at the two, beginning to set up for a very quick session. Though, before you could pour the water into it's chamber, someone lightly grabbed at your sleeve. Your lips were still pulled taught, no smile in sight as you looked up at Alice through sweat slicked hair, who was showing the most emotion you had seen on him all day. Concern. You would've chuckled at that, if not for your mood taking the dip it did.

"There's no need for that." He said faintly. You looked back down at the hookah and sighed, dropping the contraption and water and shisha back onto the bed, not bothering to clean it up. After which you looked back up at the duo, fake concern on the White Rabbit's face and real concern on Alice's.

"You are far to young to be engaging in smoking of any kind." You snorted and turned you head, snuggling deeper into the duvet still miraculously wrapped around your form. Alice's expression deepened. He seemed to hesitate, but eventually sat at the on the side of the bed beside you, albeit on the very edge but still, he sat next to you.

"Is there something you wish to talk about?" You shook your head no, taking the March Hare into your arms once more. Alice stared, before standing and walking to the door. He looked to the White Rabbit and gestured him to follow, both leaving the room soon there after. When they left you almost started crying again, softly sniffling to yourself. You tried to pick up the hookah again now that hey had abandoned you, but the Dormouse stopped you with a paw, shaking his head. And so, you wallowed, comparing Alice to all the other cards of the White Castle and how they'd barely give you a passing glance anymore, whispering their lies about your person and spreading those harsh rumors about your mental stability. You just wanted the damn floor to open up and swallow you whole.

Just as you were about to fall asleep the door opened again, revealing Alice, the White Rabbit, and the three cards. A tea cart was pushed in by the Seven of Spades with cakes and teas across it's silver surface, and the White Rabbit held his hands behind his back. Alice walked up to you and held a hand out, helping you to sit at the edge of your bed, the duvet still covering you. Each person in the room took a cup and one was handed to you, the White Rabbit clearing his throat. He then began to sing.

"A very merry unbirthday to me."

He stared at you and you sung back in a whisper, voice scrathcy.

"To who?"

and he responded in kind, both of you singing.

"To me!"

"Oh you!"

"A very merry unbirthday to you!"

"Who, me?"

"Yes, you!"

"Oh, me!"

"Let's all congratulate us

With another cup of tea

A very merry unbirthday to me!"

And you a clinked your cups together once the White Rabbit finished his verse. You giggled softly as you sipped the lukewarm tea and watched the facial expressions of the others as they took in the flavors of the tea they sipped, some liking theirs and some obviously not.

Finally, the White Rabbit and Alice walked up to you, hands shifting behind the taller's back, before something was handed to you. That something being a little white rabbit with a large green bow, a card and teacup charm attached, dressed in a wonderlandiful rendition of your current outfit. You stared at the small toy, and began to cry. You could clearly hear the cries of shock and worry as the fat drops of water left your eyes, but it was quickly silenced by the laughter bubbling in your throat. It grew in size, your shoulders shaking as you held the rabbit close to your chest, before you jumped up and grabbed the White Rabbit and Alice in your arms, all three of you falling to the floor. Your arms wrapped securely around their midsections.

"Thank you," you started, "Thank you so very much, my friends."

You continued to laugh, the laughter catching on with everyone else in the room, including your Alice, whose chuckles did not go unnoticed by you.

More laughter filled your room until everyone was laughing and halls of the Phantomhive manor, that of which is usually silent and cool, filled with a warm feeling of hope towards your uncertain future.

You could see this place becoming home.

{𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼}: This is a little longer than usual. I may have went a little insane with the “chaos” part of the ask. I hope it is to your liking.

-🖋️

All publishings on this account belong to @fountain-pen-anon. I do not authorize my fics being altered, translated, stolen or published/reposted to other sites, thank you.

© fountain-pen-anon - all rights reserved

[ice-cream-writes-stuff]

Last Night In The Neighborhood☆

《You're my world, you are my night and day. You're my world, you're every prayer I pray..》

《Warnings: the subject matter this ARG has are potentially disturbing. DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT. Welcome Home was created by Clown @/partycoffin 》

-

Moving from your old home is a scary thing, whether you don't care for the danger ahead. Change is different, it's an oddity.

So when you find an old soundtrack album of a kids show from the 70s when you were unpacking. You grow curious.

Noticing a dusty old record player in the farther corner, you try to recall how to even use one. Begrudgingly searching up how to work the machine on your phone. You smile in pride as the vinyl disc starts to swirl about.

Picking up the album cover, you look over the design.

A cast of colorful characters smiles on the cover. Their expressions are forever saved in place, at least eight puppet-looking creatures waved or paid attention to the viewer. Even a little odd house with windows for eyes.

As if they stared right back at you.

Ignoring your uneasiness, you place the item down near the record-player and continued unpacking the little items you brought. That moving truck better be here by tomorrow..

Your feet tap to a few songs, occasionally singing or humming along clumsily with your own made-up lyrics.

When it became nighttime, you were uneasy, the loud noises from outside, and your paranoid self couldn't handle the stress. Grabbing a random record, you place the needle on the disc and throw the covers over yourself. Trying to drown out the world for at least a little peace.

-

Waking up to bright lights and rainbow color schemes surprised you. Your legs moved on their own as they take in the sights and sounds of this weird dream.

Houses and streets greet you, along with music that you swore was playing before you fell asleep.

Coming closer to the source of the music, you were shocked by the characters on the album singing and dancing to the rhythm.

One of them notices you and waves you over to join them.

You smile, this was a dream you could get used too.

Joining in with your messy lyrics and footwork. The puppets greet you with open arms and cheers.

When the song finishes, one of them comes up to you. They smile gently, holding out their hand for a handshake, asking for your name.

You tell them, ask for their own.

Before they could say it, they were interrupted by a pink monster girl.

"My name is Julie! That frowny face over there is my best buddy! Frank Frankly! Oh! And over here is..." She continued as she finally finishes with the blue-haired puppet who was shaking your hand.

Not once letting his eyesight stray away from you. "He's Wally! Wally Darling!" Julie said.

She then whispers into your ear loudly. "He's a painter! He likes to paint pretty things.."

The rainbow monster giggles, nudging you coyly and side-eyeing the other puppet.

He appeared uncaring of his friends' teasing, he only smiles. His attention was solely on you, it made you feel... Special.

He made you feel special.

In the following days, you felt yourself changing, you were happier. Content with your daytime life and nighttime shenanigans with Wally and the rest of the puppets.

Hell, even your clothes were starting to change into a whole new style. The colors and lengths become more in tune with the type of clothes your friends wore in your dreams.

Yes. They were your friends, especially Wally, he had become your closest friend in your polychromatic fantasy.

And you couldn't be more thankful. At least, in the beginning...

The more you slept, the longer you stayed, it felt as if the world where Wally resided wouldn't let you leave. As if it was crying out for you to come back whenever you woke up.

You couldn't handle the newfound drowsiness you found yourself in day in and day out. It started to take a toll on you, to the point where you feared to sleep. Afraid that if you fell back into the fantasy, you may never leave.

《If our love ceases to be. Then it's the end of my world for me..!》

-

[For context! This was based off Last Night In Soho, were a girl dreams about a mysterious girl in the late 60s. I was inspired to write my version of it it with a mix of welcome home! Thank you for reading! Fan art and reblogs are appreciated! Helps with creativeness, also, to my [WElcome To Your New HomE] fans, sorry for not a new update!]

[whatt-the]

Yet another gift for @uno-san , though this has grown way past my expectations.

College Stanford x milf reader // pt. 2

Content warnings: fem reader, age gap, nsfw content, reader is having an affair so... cheating if you care

Author's note: this takes place in an AU where Stanley never ruined ford's project and he got into his dream college. He is taken under the wing of an esteemed scientist, shenanigans (cheating on ur husband in a loveless marriage) ensue.

This is my best one yet!

Stanford, as far as all of his knowledge goes, had to assume you weren't good for him. Who can blame him? You were like a drug to him. He couldn't go for more than a few minutes without thinking about you over and over again, dreaming every night of being with you, wishing he could have his lips on you again, even if it had to be the back of your hand once more. His legs felt weak at those ideas, and his face would grow flushed at his own sketches of you.

Oh, those sketches. He couldn't show his notes to his mentor any longer since the corners of the pages were filled with drawing after drawing of you. Which is why he found himself copying over page after page of the plan for his thesis into fresh sheets. So his professor wouldn't suspect a thing; he was quite paranoid about being found out.

...

Goodness he really acted like an addict-

"Stanford, these are brilliant!"

Yes, yes. His studies. Those. Stanford entirely blocked out his mentor's praises- academic accomplishments were always nice, of course, but compliments could only do so much for his ego since he met you. It wasn't the same: it wasn't from you.

'He deserves to hear how good he's doing!'

Those words repeated over and over in his brain. If only he got to hear all about how well he's doing from you. To hear thar he was smart, capable, good. That last one is what he found himself craving the most. Good. Good for you.

Oh. He should really reply to his professor's comments. But he wasn't even listening, what is he supposed to do...

Thankfully, you interrupted. The sound of water running in the floor above had stopped, followed by faint footsteps.

"Oh! Seems she's done with her shower. Tell you what: I'll get her to give us some food, just like last time. Sounds good?"

"Yes, good.."

"She'll be here in a second, in the meantime, I'll see what kind of books I have on your thesis subject for you to go over."

"Of course! In all honesty, I doubt my work will be anywhere under 200 pages, so, give me all the reference points you can!" Stanford exclaimed, finally taking interest in what was being said. The professor chuckled in response,

"You have a lot to prove, don't you young man?"

"I have a love for the craft, what can I say."

He'd almost entirely forgotten about you even being in the house throughout the interaction. Well, until you walked in, that is. You had rushed your way down, hair still wet, panting slightly from running your way down (while simultaneously taking care that you wouldn't slip and fall), wearing nothing but a robe that didn't reach much past your mid thigh.

It doesn't take a genius to imagine how Stanford felt at that moment. Though, before he could even react to the sight before him, you spoke

"Didn't you have a meeting to go to?"

"Huh?.. OH!!"

Your husband hastily dropped the pile of books on the table and ran around the house to grab his keys and other items he'd need.

And you didn't even get a thank you. You were used to it, he had long since abandoned any efforts to make you feel appreciated. Truly, you couldn't remember the last time he complimented you.

Quite unlike the man you were now facing.

"Stanford! This is NOT over yet! You're going to have a clear outline of your thesis by the end of today! I won't be gone for more than 2 hours"

Your husband paused, looking at you for a brief moment before turning back to Stanford.

"If you can explain any of this-" he points to the desk filled with books and papers "-to her, I'll give you some sort of award! best way to learn is to explain it to someone who doesn't understand, anyway"

And with that, he ran out of the house in a panic.

Stanford didn't once take his eyes off of you. Gods were you beautiful. His lips were parted as his gaze went over your body. Your face had become so much calmer as your husband left the house, your hands were no longer grabbing onto the robe, allowing for him to see more of your chest.

He swallowed dryly. He felt the butterflies in his stomach already.

His flustered state was soon to become worse as you sat next to him around the table, closing the blinds as you walked towards your seat. You were fully facing him on your chair, head resting on your hand as you spoke.

"So? What are you working on there?"

He stammered in response, eyes darting from you to the papers to your face repeatedly, occasionally opening his mouth only for either nothing or incoherent noises to spill out. He clears his throat.

"I-I'm. Sorry. It's just..."

"Are you uncomfortable with the robe? I could-"

"NO! Ah- ahhem. No, not at all. It's your house, you should wear what makes you comfortable, of course."

You giggle at his reaction. His immediate denial when you even suggested- no, hinted at changing gave away so much about how he felt. Cute.

And that's when you really get a good look at him. His hands are fidgeting with a pen, breath slightly labored, lips drawn into a slight pout, eyes looking at...

Oh.

Oh.

Damn it! He noticed that you noticed it. "I-- I deeply apologize, this- I-"

"Oh, sweetheart..."

He freezes like a deer in the headlights. You take advantage of his shock to grab his wrist, at which point he promptly dropped the pen he was holding previously. He doesn't register the noise of the impact of the pen with the table and subsequently the floor as you drag his wrist forward and kiss the palm of his hand.

This cannot be real. He must be having one of those dreams--

"You've never done this before, have you?" You asked as you intertwined your fingers with his.

"Done.. what e-exact--mmh!" He's swiftly interrupted by your kiss. Your. Kiss. His eyes immediatelly snap shut and so do his thighs- he's seeking and accepting any sort of friction by this point. Pathetically needy: but then again, who could blame him? He's been dreaming about this ever since he first laid eyes on you. He chases your lips as you let go, but lets his head fall back soon after.

"This," You say, moving your hand back to his wrist once more, guiding it to part your robe. His eyes snap open and he tilts his head to look at you: now leaning over him, you place another, much too quick kiss on his lips as you place his hand over your breast. His large hand cupping it delicately as you finally let go of his wrist. Moving back to kiss him again, you take advantage of his open mouth.

You're making out with him. You're making out with him!

He feels everything through a haze of pleasure, his hand on your body, your lips on eachother, your hand which had gone to pull on the hair at the back of his head, your breath against him- he was so lightheaded, so sensitive, so desperate. He felt the need to close his eyes, but they were already shut tight- it was all too much for him.

Yet he didn't want it to end, no: he wanted it to last forever.

But last forever it surely would not, considering he knew he wouldn't be lasting for longer than a few minutes once your hand moved to press against his hard-on. No, he wouldn't last at all, especially not when you start massaging your hand against it. He moaned loudly against your lips, and continued to let out deliciously desperate noises against them as you continued mercilessly.

You held his head in place and pulled back, and were immediatelly bombarded with a barrage of "thank you! Th-thank you, thank you! Oh god--"

Thank you? That got a reaction out of you. A slight moan, the only one you'd let out throughout the whole event. And at that, you felt his entire body tense up. He had caused you pleasure, him! There were so many emotions coursing through him-- all overshadowed by the immense pleasure he had been experiencing: he'd finally reached his peak. His noises were to die for, his budding tears brought a smile to your face.

You had ruined him.

And no one could ever replicate just how you'd turned this genius into an incoherent mess.

He shivers when he feels the coldness of your wedding ring's jewel against his face when you caress it btw, if you care.

[deakyjoe]

Somebody’s Watching Me Part 5

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader (“Sarge”, she/her pronouns, British, backstory)

Category: slowburn coworkers to friends to lovers with grumpy x sunshine dynamic/idiots in love

Summary: Your relationship with Simon begins to blossom even further as you hang out alone for the holiday period.

Warnings: fluff, Christmas Day shenanigans, British slang/terminology, talks of bad family, the sister makes an appearance, awkward Ghost, domestic Ghost (hella domestic in this one), cursing/swearing, children (briefly), talks of scars, the mask is off

Word count: 4.1k (short, I’m sorry)

A/N: He’s so babygirl in that gif. Majority of the ideas for this chapter came to me during dinner on Christmas Day when I was wishing I was spending it with my favourite fictional masked military man instead of my family…

Part 6 available to read here

The plan had gone ahead. The stupid, silly plan that you’d let your friend convince you into. Simon was due to arrive at your place any second. Yes, that’s right. The two of you had actually decided to spend Christmas Day together. Lieutenant and Sergeant Extravaganza. It was going to be a disaster, you were convinced.

What the fuck were you thinking?

You weren’t thinking much actually as you dashed around your kitchen, trying to keep up with cooking timers and attempting to keep the place in order. You were failing at keeping it in order, your kitchen was a mess. But luckily you were pulled out of your panic by him arriving.

The door was wrenched open halfway through his knocking, startling Simon slightly but he barely showed it with the smallest raise of his eyebrows. His hand still hung in the air ready for his next knock.

"Eager." He grunted, handing you the bags he was carrying.

"You're late." You snapped as you turned away from him to walk back to the kitchen where you were cooking the biggest meal for two people ever. You were wearing an apron and some unidentifiable substance was splattered over your cheeks. You were unaware of it.

"You said ten. It's ten." He replied as he shut the door and followed you, kicking off his shoes in the process.

You dumped his bags in the corner of the room. "I said get here ten-ish. That means nine-thirty latest."

"You should've said nine-thirty then." He frowned as he picked the bags up again and set them delicately on your kitchen counter. "Watch it. Got some goods in here."

"Couldn't have said nine-thirty because then I'd look insane. Ten was bad enough. What's with all the bags?" The previous subject was dropped as you peered into the top of one of the bags in front of you. Your attention was so easily distracted.

He shrugged. "You told me to bring things."

You pouted. "I said bring potatoes and carrots."

"I did." He pulled them from the bag and set them down in front of you. Potatoes and carrots as requested. But the bags were still bulging.

"That's more than potatoes and carrots, Simon."

"A few extra vegetables maybe." He paused. "And your presents."

You perked up instantly. "You got me presents?"

"Be a bit rude of me if I spent Christmas Day here with you and didn't get you presents." He huffed, scrunching the bag shut when you attempted to peek at what he'd brought you.

You rolled your eyes at him. "No, I invited you. Besides, we didn't say we would."

He hesitated, shifting on his feet. "It's okay if you didn't get me any."

You scoffed. "As if I wouldn't get you any."

He didn't respond to that but instead pointed at his cheeks. "You've got a little something."

You rubbed at your face. "Got it?"

"No. Here, let me." He reached across and cupped your cheek in his large hand, finger swiping across the skin to remove whatever was there.

You could feel yourself burning at the touch. It was so unexpected from him. The most you'd ever gotten was the hooked pinkies at the Christmas party. Now he was touching your face? Of course you weren’t complaining, you were just surprised.

He looked as if he was going to say something else but was interrupted by your phone ringing, the vibration of it making it shift across the surface of the counter. His hand was removed quickly in the blink of an eye but you took no notice as a familiar name was flashing on the screen of your phone.

"Gonna take that?" Simon asked gruffly, his eyes on you as you stared at your phone.

"It's my sister." You mumbled, tentatively picking it up. Why was she calling you? On Christmas Day?

He leant forward next to you, looking over your shoulder. "Maybe you should answer. Confront her like you did your parents."

"I don't know if it'd be a confrontation."

Things with you sister were... ambiguous. You didn't know exactly what her opinion of you was. And you were scared to find out.

But you needed to decide because she wouldn't wait around for you to answer the phone forever. So you hit the green button and hoped for the best when her smiling face appeared on the screen. Shit, it was a FaceTime.

She gasped but didn't seem unhappy. "You picked up!"

"Uh, sure did." You sent an awkward smile back, not certain what you were supposed to say to her. "Umm... hey. How are you?"

Greetings. Small talk. Good.

"I'm good, I'm good! How are you? Merry Christmas, by the way!"

She was too enthusiastic for your taste. And that was coming from you. Simon secretly described you as the epitome of sunshine.

"Merry Christmas. I'm- I'm alright."

Simon's gaze was burning into the side of your face so you desperately tried to ignore him.

"Good! Listen-"

Oh, fuck.

"-I know you're not going to Mum and Dad's this year and I totally understand."

Did she?

"But I want to see you at some point. Before you're next called away. I haven't seen you in forever. You've got nieces and nephews to see as well." Her tone didn't change for a second and she seemed genuine. Surprising.

You blinked at her. "Uhh... okay."

"Okay? Really?" She asked and you nodded. "Great! Hang on, they want to see you. Kids!"

There was a scuffle on the other end of the line before four small faces were squished together to fit in front of the camera, including a tiny baby being held up at the back of the group.

"Say Merry Christmas to your auntie then."

"Merry Christmas!" They all chimed, minus the newborn, with sweet smiles full of missing teeth.

A lump formed in your throat at the sight of them. "Merry Christmas."

They all disappeared again before your sister was back on screen. "I tell them stories all the time about you."

"You do?"

"Of course, you're their aunt! I need their aunt in their lives even if you can't physically be here all the time-"

You cut her off. "I didn't think you wanted me to be."

She frowned at you. "Why wouldn't I want you to be?"

"Because Mum and Dad said-"

"Oh, fuck everything they say. I don't care what they think. You're my sister. That's all that matters." She glanced away from the camera. "Yes, Mummy used a bad word. No, you can't use it. Maybe when you're older. Go put your shoes on."

Tears were welling in your eyes so you blinked them back. "I still can't come over for Christmas."

"I know. And I understand why." She paused, a thoughtful look crossing her face. "You're not spending it alone, are you?"

"No, no. I'm spending it with a friend." You said, eyes flicking to the side to look at Simon who was listening and watching you intently.

"Ooh, is it the fella that Mum and Dad saw you with at the market?" Her face suddenly got closer to the camera, her voice lowering to a whisper.

"They told you about that?" You were surprised, thinking they'd keep it to themselves.

"Oh, yeah. I hoped you'd call since you were home. But then you didn't... so I figured I would."

"Thought it was best I kept my distance." You explained. "I didn't know where you stood. With me."

"Silly girl." She shook her head but moved on. "Is mystery man there? Can I see him?"

"Yes, mystery man is here. And no, you can't see him." You laughed.

"Ugh, does mystery man have a name at least?"

"Simon."

"Shit, yeah. They did say that. Also said he's your lieutenant. Is that allowed?" Her brows raised in accusation.

"We're just friends."

Just friends. Liar.

"Sure, you a-" She was cut off from a shout somewhere in the distance. "Fuck, we've got to go. Umm, promise to call me. Or text me. Whatever."

"Promise." You nodded. "Have a good time today."

"It'll be a struggle without you. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." You replied with one last smile before hanging up.

The two of you stood in silence for a moment after you'd set your phone down. This was the last thing you expected to happen on Christmas Day. But it wasn't unwanted. In fact, it felt rather nice.

"Are you okay?" Simon suddenly asked, not enjoying how quiet you were being.

Your head snapped to the side to look at him. "Yes, actually. Do you want to do presents now?"

"Sure, whatever you want." One side of his mouth curled up slightly. It sort of resembled a smile.

"Okay, let's do it." You skipped out of the kitchen and into the living room where you dragged a bag from behind the television and collapsed onto the sofa.

Simon followed you, falling into his seat more carefully. He had his own bag of presents for you clutched in his arms.

"Here you go." You shoved his gifts towards him, slightly nervous at what he'd think. "You can open them in any order."

"Open yours first." He said softly as your presents were placed carefully into your lap. "You have to leave the small one until last."

"Okay." You frowned at that but accepted. He had his reasonings and you'd see soon enough anyway.

You pulled the first present from the bag, it was medium sized and squishy. Nicely wrapped. Curious. When you'd unwrapped it, you were puzzled to see multiple pairs of socks. A classic Christmas gift.

"They're thermal." Simon explained hurriedly, noticing the expression on your face. "You're always complaining that your feet are cold in the field. Thought these'd help."

"Oh." You melted a little, amazed that he’d remembered. Did you really complain that much? "That's so sweet, Simon. Thank you."

He said nothing so you moved on to the next gift. This was bigger and judging by the weight and shape you could guess what it was. And you were right. A bottle of the apple juice from the farmers' market.

"You know me so well." You sighed happily, placing it to the side and making a mental note to put it in the fridge as soon as possible.

After that was an apple scented candle and a box of your favourite chocolates. How he knew about those, you had no idea as you were sure you'd never once eaten them or mentioned them in front of him. But you didn't think on it too hard.

Lastly was the smallest gift. It was thin and you found an envelope underneath the wrapping paper. Your brows furrowed in confusion. Inside the envelope was a piece of paper with an eleven digit number written on it. A phone number.

"It's my phone number." Simon said, hushed. "I thought that maybe you should have it. As we're... friends now."

You looked back up at him, eyes glassy and full of appreciation. Somehow, he knew you perfectly. And this was the best gift you ever could have asked for.

"Thank you." You said softly, sniffing as you immediately typed it into your contacts. You didn't want to risk losing it. Or risk him changing his mind and wanting to take it back.

He just nodded and reached for his own gifts and started opening them. The first was a jar of raw honey from the market. Secretly, you were so glad you hadn't run into each other there again as it would’ve spoiled the surprise of the presents.

After that was a hat, scarf and gloves.

"Because you won't buy them for yourself." You explained after he sent you an unamused look.

Then he opened the gift you were most nervous about. A double picture frame with two photographs from the Christmas party in them on either side. The first had a group shot of everyone that Simon originally didn't want to be in but reluctantly agreed to after you begged him.

"C'mon, Simon! It'll be nice!"

"Just for you, Sarge. Just for you..."

He stood in the corner behind you. And you didn't fail to notice how he wasn't looking at the camera, but instead had his eyes fixed on you.

The second was a photograph of the two of you out on the patio. One of your friends had sneakily taken it when neither of you were paying attention. Both you and Simon were looking up at the sky and your pinkies were interlocked on the wooden railing. It looked… romantic. She’d sent it to you the next day with heart emojis as a caption.

He said nothing as he stared down at it.

Biting your thumbnail anxiously, you took in a deep breath. "You don't have to put it up anywhere. I just thought... I don't know."

"No, I'll find somewhere for it. Thank you." He looked at it for a few seconds more before standing it upright on the coffee table and picking up his last gift.

A limited edition Patrick Swayze box set collection. You'd spent hours on the internet scouring for it.

And when Simon's eyes lit up you knew the time was spent well.

You started pointing at various places on the back of the box. "It comes with exclusive interviews and documentaries as well as some of his best movies. It's got Dirty Dancing, Point Break, Road House, Ghost- wait." You cut yourself off, suddenly realising something.

Simon predicted your epiphany, his face dropping into boredom. "No."

"Hang on." You ignored him, putting the pieces together.

"No." He just repeated himself, slightly firmer.

"Is your name Ghost because of Ghost?" You said, trying to stifle a giggle.

He said nothing. That was an answer in itself.

Air shot from your mouth in shock. "Oh, my god! It is!"

"It's a coincidence." His teeth were clenched.

"Totally. Patrick Swayze super fan Simon Riley is also known as Ghost. Coincidentally." You rolled your eyes at his weak attempt of an explanation. No way that it was a coincidence.

"I'm not called Ghost because of Patrick Swayze." He insisted, dropping the box set to your coffee table and sending you a death glare.

You nodded, unconvinced. "Yuh-huh. And how many times have you seen the movie?"

Shrug. "I don't know."

"A lot, right?"

Another shrug. "Yeah."

"Simon!" You cackled, struggling to breathe as a sudden laugh escaped you. "I can't believe your callsign comes from a romance movie starring Whoopi Goldberg!"

He frowned. "It doesn't."

"It so does. Do you cry during it?" Your brows raised at the idea. You couldn't picture him crying.

"No."

"How do you feel about the pottery scene?" Your tone was suggestive as you questioned his opinions on one of the most famous sexy scenes of all time.

"It's okay."

"Please! You so cry during it and love the pottery scene." You were just teasing him but the thought of it was quite amusing.

He turned away from you. "Stop it."

"I can't. This information is precious to me."

"Information you're making up." He snapped.

"I bet you know the choreography for Dirty Dancing as well." Imagine him doing the big dance number at the end...

He said nothing.

"Christ, you do." You sighed, highly thrilled with this development. "Hate to say it but I always preferred Keanu Reeves to Patrick Swayze in Point Break."

He suddenly looked at you with an expression as if you'd committed the biggest sin ever. "That's because you have no taste."

You snorted. "Says the man who doesn't like Love Actually."

"Sappy romance." He waved his hand at you.

"You like Ghost and Dirty Dancing." You deadpanned.

Correction. "I like Patrick Swayze."

Again, you laughed at him. "You're not helping your case."

He huffed. "Fine. I like some romances. Happy?"

"Very." You were grinning at him.

He paused and frowned at you. "Keanu Reeves?"

With a sigh, you shut your eyes and pictured Keanu Reeves. "He's pretty."

Simon's mind flashed back to the night of the party where you'd called him pretty in passing.

"Although, so is Patrick Swayze." You added, thinking about him and his mullet in Dirty Dancing. "Hey, do you have any pictures of you with your Patrick Swayze mullet?"

"No." He did. He was lying.

"What a shame. Would've loved to have seen." You sighed again, this time more dramatically. "Okay, come on, Simon Swayze. We've got more cooking to do."

He ignored the tingling in his stomach at being referred to as Simon Swayze. "Thought you said you had it all sorted. That you wouldn't need my help."

"Maybe I wasn't telling the truth." You brushed your hands down the front of your apron.

“Hm, you got another apron for me to wear?” He was joking but your eyes sparkled as you ran off into the kitchen so he decided to keep that to himself.

He followed you into the kitchen slowly to find you bent over and digging through a drawer. Guiltily, he averted his eyes after realising he’d been staring for a couple seconds too long.

“Aha!” You presented an apron to him with a flourish.

It was obvious just by looking at it that it’d be far too small for him. But Simon decided to just indulge you and slipped it over his head anyway.

He stuck his arms out to the sides. “How do I look?”

“Domestic. Like a housewife. Suits you.” You nodded and turned to the piles of bowls and dishes on the counter. “Can you cook?”

“I can follow instructions.”

What an interesting thought.

You snapped yourself out of it and pointed at several items, reeling off a list of things he could do to help out.

So that’s what the two of you did for the next few hours, you told him what to do and Simon did it. It was a nice change in dynamic from him usually telling you what to do as your lieutenant. And maybe the power was getting to your head a little.

“What are you doing?!”

“What you told me to do. Chopping.”

“No! I said to leave half an inch between the cuts. That’s clearly three quarters of an inch.”

“I think I know my inches, Sarge.”

You’d shut up at that comment.

And when the food was done and you’d both eaten more than you probably should have, the promise of sending Simon home with half the leftovers being sealed, you settled on the sofa to watch the two movies you’d agreed on.

It was a quick game of rock, paper, scissors to decide whose film got played first. You’d won and happily put on Love Actually with a smug grin. Little to your knowledge, Simon had lost on purpose.

You sat in silence as you watched the lives of several characters be intertwined over the Christmas period as their love lives took twists and turns.

And when it was over, you turned to your lieutenant with a curious gaze. “So?”

“Still shit.”

“Simon!” You groaned, head falling back onto the sofa. “How could you say that?”

“I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Fine, fine. Guess it’s time for Die Hard now.” You sighed and put the next movie on, kind of looking forward to it. You hadn’t seen it in years. A rewatch might be nice.

And it was. You’d forgotten how good it actually was. But when you turned to tell Simon that in the last half hour of the movie, you found him asleep. Asleep!

His head was tilted back, eyes closed, mouth slightly open and face relaxed. You giggled quietly to yourself and let the rest of the film play out.

When it was over he was still fast asleep so you placed a blanket across him and tiptoed into the kitchen, switched the radio on a low volume and started to tidy up. It took you about half an hour before everything was packed away in the fridge and all cooking equipment was piled ready to be washed.

When you turned to put something in a cupboard, Simon was stood in the doorway watching you. His eyelids were slightly hooded as he rubbed a hand across his face, hair tousled to perfection. He looked... delectable.

"How long was I out?" His voice was husky from sleep. Music to your ears.

"About an hour I think." You couldn't move your eyes away from him, completely unblinking.

He grunted lowly in the back of his throat and moved towards you. "Sorry."

"It's- it's okay." You backed yourself against the counter, wincing as the granite dug into the small of your back.

"Thanks for the blanket." He stopped short about two feet away from you. "I can't believe I fell asleep."

"You missed the end of Die Hard." You cracked a small smile, trying to distract yourself from the way he looked.

"No, I mean-" He exhaled deeply. "I haven't slept like that... in a while."

"Well, that's good then. Right? Power nap?"

"I can't sleep at home because I'm paranoid. And uncomfortable." He admitted suddenly.

"Oh." It was sad to hear that he wasn't happy in his own home. "My sofa is available any time you want to use it."

"I don't know why I fell asleep."

"Maybe you're less paranoid here because you know I'm here. Someone to back you up. Just in case. Like how you sleep better in the field?"

"Maybe." His eyes crinkled at the edges at that. "I guess I do trust you."

"You guess?"

"I do.” He corrected. “Trust that you'd not let me die say someone were to try to kill me in my sleep. Assuming that it's not you trying to kill me."

"No promises. But you're safe for now. You don't snore."

"Soap needs to watch his back then."

"He certainly does."

He suddenly noticed that your sink was full of water and suds. "Need help with that?"

"Sure. You want to wash or dry?"

"I'll wash. I'm good with a sponge."

"A sentence I never thought I'd hear you say but okay!"

He sidled up next to you and stuck his hands into the water with no hesitation.

"Aaahh! What are you doing?" You grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands from the sink, eyes wide with horror. "That's boiling water! I have gloves for you to use!"

"Can't really feel it." He looked down at his hands, now an angry pink from the heat. "It's mostly scar tissue."

You frowned at him. "You still have nerve endings and pain receptors in scar tissue."

"Not me."

You laughed sarcastically. "Oh, not you."

"Not me." He repeated.

Stubborn bastard.

"You're an idiot." You shook your head with a smile, amused by him.

"Appreciate that, Sarge." He didn't seem annoyed, however. He also seemed to find it funny.

You found a tea towel and dried his hands for him, being gentle as to not aggravate the scar tissue or poke at the burning skin more. Then you pulled the washing up gloves from the cupboard below and gave them to him.

"Now wear these."

"Yes, ma'am." He sighed but took them from you anyway, slipping them onto his large hands. They were a tight fit but they'd have to do.

The two of you stood together, you humming along to the music on the radio as you dried bowls and pots and Simon watching you from the corner of his eye as he scrubbed at plates and saucepans.

He interrupted you with a hushed mumble, almost inaudible. “Sarge?”

“Yeah?” Your humming stopped as you looked up at him.

He was hesitant before he replied. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Today. It’s been my nicest Christmas since… forever.” He avoided looking at you which was odd for him.

“Oh. You’re welcome.” While it made you happy that he’d had a good time, it also pained you that his previous Christmases hadn’t been as kind to him.

“I- I like spending time with you.” The statement was rushed, jaw tightened.

“I like spending time with you too.” You responded, feeling lightheaded at his confession.

He didn’t reply for a moment, just nodded at your returned sentiment. “What time do you need me to leave?”

“Whenever you want.” It was true. You weren’t planning on kicking him out any time soon, or ever. He was free to stay as long as he wanted to.

He hummed quietly.

You decided to be bold and repeat your offer from earlier in the day. "You can stay on the sofa if you want."

He appeared surprised by that but smiled. A full-blown Simon Riley smile. Glimpse of pearly white teeth and everything. You almost fainted at the sight.

"I'd like that."

But in true Ghost fashion he'd disappeared before you'd woken up the next morning.

A/N: Fun fact - I was gonna have them kiss in this chapter and then decided against it to hang out the slowburn a little longer… you’re welcome! 💀

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of poop, mentions of homophobia (joke), mentions of men getting pregnant

Desc: here the boys discuss whether men can get pregnant or not and other shenanigans. this also very fucking stupid

Mikey: i just took the biggest shit

Mikey: you guys will not believe the sheer size of this thing like it's as big as my forearm

Mikey: makes me wonder how women give birth

Kazutora: ?

Draken: keep this shit to yourself what the hell is wrong with you

Mikey: how can i keep this shit to myself when i've already flushed it down the toilet🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mitsuya: what does you shitting have to do with women giving birth?

Mitsuya: never mind shouldn't have asked

Mikey: well the poop tore my butt up so imagine what babies do to vaginas

Baji: this is why i'm never giving birth. looks too hard

Draken: ...you're not a candidate to do so? you're male?

Baji: what does my gender have to do with giving birth

Draken: it has everything to do with it??? what are you talking about

Baji: wow didn't know you guys were so sexist

Chifuyu: Baji-san, gender and sex are two different things...

Baji: ?

Chifuyu: sex is your chromosomes and basically what you were born with and gender is what you identify as. so since you're male, you don't have the reproductive organs to get pregnant and have a child. only female bodied people can.

Smiley: bro you're 17 how the fuck do you not know this

Baji: never been good at biology

Smiley: you don't have to be good at it to know you can't get pregnant💀

Baji: so men can't get pregnant?

Chifuyu: well if someone born as a female transitions into a man, then gets pregnant, we can pretty much say that men can get pregnant

Baji: so men can get pregnant but not males?

Chifuyu: yeah i guess

Baji: interesting

Baji: i don't think anyone's tried hard enough

Baji: i'll get a male pregnant one day, watch

Mitsuya: wtf

Draken: is the biology lesson over?

Mikey: my ass still hurts i think i'll need ointment

Kazutora: why r u reporting this to us

Mikey: you guys are my friends

Mitsuya: no ones wants to know about your bowel movements

Baji: why do you always wanna sound smart Mitsuya. just say shit or shitting

Smiley: watch, next time he'll say defecation

Chifuyu: excretion

Mikey: excrement

Kazutora: fecal matter

Draken: guys what the fuck can we not talk about this? it's fucking gross

Baji: oho here comes the fucking poop police

Kazutora: instead of his siren going "wee woo wee woo" it probably goes "pee poo pee poo" lmao

Mikey: LMAO😭

Draken: what are you a bunch of 5 year olds??

Baji: we're 17

Draken: 😐

Mitsuya: can we change the subject? christ

Smiley: i did crack for the first time yesterday. shit was crazy

Mikey: YOU DO DRUGS???? BRO

Baji: yo Nahoya what the fuck

Draken: we're not supposed to do drugs

Smiley: who's we?? i'm doing them not you🤨??

Draken: and what's Angry gonna think?

Smiley: he doesn't need to know. and i did it to impress a girl so chill it's not a regular thing

Mikey: why would you try and impress a girl with doing crack?

Smiley: she's a drug addict

Smiley: but the sex was fire tho even though she tried to kill me halfway through

Mikey: YOU'RE HAVING SEX??

Kazutora: that's not fair☹️

Kazutora: where are you meeting women?

Smiley: outside

Kazutora: oh

Draken: why did she try to kill you?

Smiley: halfway through she started choking the shit outta me while she was on top and i almost died but also it was the best nut i've ever experienced so it's a win win

Mikey: that doesn't sound appealing at all😭

Draken: that sounds like assault actually

Smiley: idgaf a beautiful woman can do whatever she wants with me and if she wants to kill me then so be it (i'm a feminist)

Mitsuya: yeah but like, she should have asked

Smiley: we were both high off our rockers

Draken: yeah i feel like she should have asked you so you could have developed a healthy sex dynamic where you both share each other kinks before hand

Baji: oho here comes the fucking sex police

Kazutora: this time the siren would be men whimpering

Chifuyu: why men?

Kazutora: i don't think Draken would use women moaning cause of how the brothel might have traumatized him i think and he respects women too much

Kazutora: also he's gay

Draken: fuck off i'm not

Draken: and Baji say something else i dare you

Baji: what are you gonna do? have sex with me?

Smiley: you're all taking this way too seriously😁

Baji: with what Kazutora said, i'ma start blasting whimpering audios when i get a car

Mitsuya: i'm pretty sure that's illegal or something

Smiley: dawg no one wants to hear that

Baji: who wouldn't want to hear men whimpering?

Baji: especially the high pitched ones

Baji: cause you can associate them with twinks

Baji: with dual coloured hair, jingly earnings and large unsettling eyes

Baji: and maybe even a blonde with an undercut and big blue cow eyes

Kazutora: Baji what are you on about

Chifuyu: wait are you being serious or is this a joke Baji-san 😂😂😂😂

Draken: uhh

Smiley: i keep hoping you being gay is a joke but then you say shit like this

Baji: why

Smiley: i'm not fond of gay people

Baji: homophobia's got you missing out on some good head

Draken: we support and respect all identies, Smiley. don't make this a problem

Smiley: i'll ask again, WHO'S WE?

[thegoldencontracts]

Hullo! If you're taking fic requests, may I politely ask for an 'x Azul' one involving Azul getting really invested in market research for something a little pointless? Maybe it's trying twenty different kinds of olive to see which makes the best garnish, maybe it's minor variations on their standard cloth napkins as sorted by softness, who knows? Just something he makes the MC test for him and he's very lucky MC loves him enough to put up with it.

Of course, something has to go wrong eventually. Maybe teaming up with the tweels to end the constant stream of tests? Shenanigans are always welcome~ hehehe.

Thank you for your time!

Of course! Azul my belovedd <3 Anyways, thank you for the request, and a little note to anyone reading that I appreciate any and all requests!

Of Much Importance

Summary: Azul is a man of business, even when that business-matter involves making his dearly beloved test out dishes for him. Except, he's making you test to see how many flakes of chili is optimal? Flakes?

Unless you do something, you're going to be here forever - or until your stomach bursts.

Notes: Fluff, and some humor, a bit of flirting

"Darling," Azul - your lovely, lovely boyfriend you who you were on the verge of murdering if it weren't for the fact that he had superstrength, and the twins were actually surprisingly protective when he was badly hurt, and you loved him too much - said, holding yet another plate of the same guacamole but with one more chili flakes. "Does this one taste better?"

You were at a seat in the currently closed Lounge, which would've meant no one would hear him scream if you punched him, but of course, the twins were sitting at the next table, being subjected to the same thing as you.

It tastes the exact same because this is literally the exact same dish with one more chili flakes. You think anyone'll notice that, Azul? You wanted to say.

Instead, you just tried to appease him. He seemed pretty stressed, and for good reason. Finals were coming up, and that meant a surge of new contracts for him, and a surge of sleepless nights, if the way his concealer had gotten heavier said anything. He was zoning in on every little detail, and you understood why. That didn't make it any less frustrating.

"I'm sure it's fine-"

"No." Azul said, sounding way too intense for someone talking about a singular chili flake. "This is sub-optimal. I must conduct further research. I apologize, but I will temporarily leave."

"Bye," you said, trying not to sound too happy.

Finally, a break for your stomach! Your poor, poor stomach. You still remembered how this all started.

"Darling, would you mind taste-testing a few new recipes for me?"

"Of course not!"

You thought it would be easy. You were so, so wrong. Because those 'few' recipes were actually over a hundred. And those recipes were the exact same guacamole with one more chili flake each time.

You hated guacamole now. The next time you saw an avocado, you'd have an aneurysm.

As you lamented, the twins entered your field of vision. Here to float, you guessed.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh at me," you said, but neither of them were laughing. Jade had his polite smile, but it was strained. His eye was twitching.

Finally, Floyd spoke up.

"I can't take this anymore!" He said. "You gotta find a way to make him stop!"

They were suffering too? You guys were companions in misery?

"Jade?" You asked.

"I'm afraid I must agree," he said. "This is becoming much too trying for me to bear. I fear my stomach may no longer be able to contain this food."

So, you really were cohorts in misery. The question was, now what? What did you do? Azul could come back any moment.

"Do you have a plan then?"

Please let them have a plan, please. You couldn't take this anymore.

Silence. You were beginning to lose hope when Floyd spoke up.

"Flirt with him," he said, sounding way too serious considering what he was suggesting.

That was his best idea? Flirting?

Wait.

Azul was great at being suave, but maybe he couldn't take what he dished out. In fact, he probably couldn't take what he dished out.

"Floyd."

"Yeah?"

"Has anyone told you you're a genius?" You asked.

"All the time," Floyd said, though he didn't seem smug. "Hate it. They keep telling me to apply myself. Usually the thing they're telling me to do's super boring."

Oh, right. Floyd was actually a savant.

"Get back to your seats. We can't look too suspicious," you said, and the twins nodded, scampering back to their seats.

Just in time, because at that moment, Azul walked back into the restaurant, carrying another plate of guacamole with him.

"Is this one better?" He said, but this time, instead of appeasing him, you stood up, leaning in close. It was time for you to use that dating-sim knowledge.

"How do you expect me to focus on the food when I've got the most gorgeous man this world has to offer staring at me?"

Azul flushed, turning away with a huff.

"Regardless of the falsehood of that statement, it is entirely irrelevant to this conversation," he said. That wouldn't do. You weren't going to let him get out of this.

"Now, now," you said, hooking an arm around his shoulder. "Don't deny it, darling."

In an attempt to maintain his composure, Azul looked away. You just hooked a finger under his chin to combat that.

"Don't deny me the privilege of watching you lose your composure like this, Azul," you said, enjoying every second of this.

"I, er-"

You leaned in, puckering your lips. Azul scrunched his eyes shut in anticipation.

But nothing happened. After a while, Azul finally opened his eyes, and you couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"You- you looked hilarious!" You said. "All red n' blushy. I should really do this more often."

Azul scowled, swatting you away.

"Leave at once," he said, though there wasn't any bite to his voice. "I shall go to my room and continue this endeavor in private."

No more guacamole? No more guacamole! Yes! Victory, at last.

"Of course." As you left, you could see Jade and Floyd give you a thumbs up.

Back in your room, but you couldn't help but smile. As irritating as this whole endeavor had been - and as bad as it was for your stomach - you couldn't deny that this new side to Azul was one you enjoyed.

You really would have to do this more often.

[watchtowerindistress]

the empath and the eldritch horror (4/5) - sparrow!ben x empath!reader

Summary: This was truly the end of the world. Both families chose to band together to get rid of the ball of lightning in the basement. Allison is showing her true colors, affecting Eight. And Ben is trying his hand at pep talks.

Word count: 6.8k (*cough* don't look at me)

Warning: language, angst, Eight's mental health (or powers?), violence, Eight's self-esteem, mention of smut, mention of drugs, Eight has a very specific tattoo

Author's note: This is the chapter I was most looking forward to 🎉🤗 Still between chapter one and two. If you know the gif, you'll know which episode this is set in. The last chapter will be then after the wedding shenanigans.

Full disclosure, when I first watched this season so many years ago, I felt like so many others, truly angry at Allison. It's why I didn't want to do a re-watch, but now I have a more balanced approach. Not to mention, yes, Eight is deeply affected by Viktor and Allison, but ... at the same time, she gets it in a way, so she's more neutral about it. I think the next chapter delves deeper into that.

This chapter is so long because I included the whole episode (almost) from start to finish. You're welcome. 😘

Please please please write a small comment or reblog this.

Series masterlist

The absolute impossible happened. Who knew that both Hargreeves families could get over their petty squabbles and band together to defeat a common foe? This time around they chose to acknowledge that the Kugelblitz signaled a more pressing matter in spite of the egos of some people itching to kill the others.

Ben followed after Fei by sauntering into the sitting room as soon as some of your siblings had arrived to start off the family meeting and to deal with the next cataclysmic event.

Ben frowned impatiently at Fei’s inquiry about Diego’s hand—it was probably half curiosity and half a morbid way of making friends by feigning interest. “We don’t have time for idle chitchat. Everyone, sit down.”

Diego decided to be his typical brotherly self. “Please would be nice.”

His partner in crime (as you lovingly called her in your head) called Lila chuckled at his antics.

Ben barely turned his head in his direction when he uttered with a serious, “No.” With a frown, he tilted his head, scrutinizing the guests with a subtle glimpse. “Where’s the Empath?”

Casting his suspicious gaze onto Ben, Diego narrowed his eyes at this fascination. Maybe this was the overprotective brother in him who didn’t like the idea of this version of Ben being mesmerized by you—for whatever nefarious motives. Since he didn’t want to imagine anything else going on there.

Stretching his arm against his thigh as he leaned forward, Diego demanded with an accusatory voice, “Why do you care?”

Ben waved a hand, smirking widely to get under his skin. “Maybe I’d rather appreciate the presence of the sensitive sibling rather than the knife guy bashing his head through the fucking wall.”

“You little-” Diego hissed.

This was the moment when you arrived at the Academy. “I heard someone requested my being here,” you sang, hoping to de-escalate any frictions with your arrival.

The tension in Ben’s shoulders dissolved. You reminded yourself to appear as easy-going as possible when you passed Ben. Trying to disregard the intense gaze he sent you over your shoulder. You picked the seat in the middle of the couch, between Diego and Five, just in case Diego and Ben decided to butt heads.

Mildly curious, Diego grumbled, “How can you even stand the guy?” while waving a hand in Ben’s general direction as a gesture of irritation.

This was just your idea of a good time. To be subjected to being the woman in the middle trying to mediate between two pig-headed guys.

You sat down with a sigh, sending Ben a teasing expression. “Sometimes he reminds me of you.”

Their reaction was instantaneous.

Ben’s face contorted into a grimace. “Don’t insult me.”

Simultaneously, Diego added, “Not funny.”

Fei and Lila’s chuckles eased the tension in the room. But this appeared short-lived.

“Are we done now with the little stand-up show? Can we get on with it?” This time, Ben branded you with his dark stare.

You exhaled heavily, choosing to grant Ben this small amount of silence and Luther the opportunity to say his part, due to him bringing everyone together. The absence of Klaus and Viktor was starting to concern you. It was the not knowing part which bothered you, especially since there was this specific tradition in this family to not tell anyone anything. So, the chances of being absorbed by the Kugelblitz or being kidnapped were equally high. Or they just didn’t care to show up.

As soon as your gaze wandered around the room, the darkness emanated from Allison like a cloud, prompting you to slowly turn your head. Wisps of dark smoke encircled her being more and more by every second.

When Allison’s gaze almost found you reluctantly, you mouthed, “You good?”

The coldness in her eyes froze you in place, when she muttered, “Never better.”

Luther distracted you from your anxious mind when he stood up to face the families. “So, uh…” He cleared his throat. “This is kinda nice, right? All of us here together. One big happy family.” Luther chuckled before he bent down towards Sloane who was sitting in a chair across from you. “I feel like I’m sweaty. Am I sweating?”

“No, you’re fine.” Sloane whispered back reassuringly.

“Look, I know there’s been bad blood between us,” Ben admitted with a carefree voice, like everything which transpired between the families was just water under the bridge already. “Whatever. Bygones, right?”

Faking a smile to speed up the process, Ben pointed at Diego as soon as he raised his hand. “Question?”

“Yeah, if I kill you, do we get our Ben back?” He said, prompting Fei to snicker in jest.

You sighed, leaning back against the back of the couch. Diego must have sensed the grim expressions on Ben’s face and yours when he added, “Hypothetically.”

“Guys,” you admonished your brother. You felt the itch in your fingers before you finally relented and nervously nibbled on of the snacks which was laid out on the table like a small peace offering or a more strategic distraction. Knowing you would need the food to get you through the rest of the meeting.

“Keep talking, and your hand won’t be the only thing bleeding,” Ben hissed through gritted teeth.

“Okay, if the testosterone twins are done,” Five interrupted before a fight could fully break out between the Twos, “I’d like to get back to a plan.”

The sudden appearance of Viktor was a welcome distraction. But that was before you detected the yellow tendrils of fear wafting around him. Viktor rushed in, demanding answers while alternating his gaze between Allison and Ben. “Where is he? What did you do to Harlan?”

Ben had the good instinct to sneakily take a seat between Five and you. You were grateful that you functioned as a buffer next to Diego. He picked up the tub of cheese balls from the table and placed it in his lap, watching (and relishing) in rapt fascination the drama unfolding. You felt an altercation between Allison and Viktor about to boil over, not knowing whether to step in or letting it play out. Judging by Allison’s pain, you felt concerned if it could be contained for long.

“They didn’t do anything. I did. I killed Harlan,” Allison stated without emotion in her voice.

You knew better though. Allison’s eyes told you how this deplorable action wasn’t as easy for her as she wanted to let on.

The longer you remained in their vicinity—especially when Viktor was added to the mix—an almost deafening sensation grew in your ears. You tried to keep your emotions in check, afraid of what would happen if you would let it erupt. Sometimes you hated being this vessel of empathy. Like you were just along for the ride or were some sort of empty glass while the emotions of others filled you with water, making it a part of you. Leaving you to yourself while you tried to stop it from overspilling.

Sensing the overflowing feelings of rage and vindication from Allison’s side and the pain and grief on both sides, you experienced their conflict at parts like some sort of tunnel vision.

“Because he didn’t deserve to live,” Alison avowed, expecting it to be a given.

Uncomfortable silence prevailed the longer Allison and Viktor remained in their stalemate.

You tried to get your breathing under control and focused on anything else than the clashing of ideologies. Needing to distract yourself, you tried to hone in on Ben’s mischief taking over.

“Twenty bucks on the little one,” Ben whispered to Five before munching on his snack.

“I’ll take that action,” Five agreed quietly.

“I know Harlan killed all of our mothers.” Allison’s statement pulled you back after only listening to their voices halfheartedly.

Your siblings erupted into shocked reactions at that turn of events. “What?”

“Yeah, but he didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” Viktor attempted to appease the rest of his family, despite Five and Diego’s vexation slowly taking over. “He—I knew him. And he was sweet and kind until I made him like us. Okay? So, I screwed him up. And if you need someone to blame, I’m right here-”

Yet, Allison didn’t care for any redemption of Viktor. She turned confrontational while she was burning for a fight. “What makes you think I don’t?”

Your eyes widened anxiously at Allison’s aura shifting into a mixture of a darker red and almost black.

“This wasn’t about saving the world. This was about hurting me. Payback for-” Viktor grunted lowly.

Gingerly, yet menacingly, Allison moved to her feet. “Go on. Say her name.”

With your eyes closed, you clenched your hands into fists. “Can we please stop?” You mumbled quietly. The provoking words of your siblings echoed shallowly while your breathing was turning heavy.

Ben shifted his head in your direction at the shift of your breathing pattern. The tunnel vision was still happening when you felt Ben’s hand covering the edge of your back, but thankfully without touching the sliver of skin. Just letting his hand linger in place. His warmth was perhaps one of the only things keeping you centered in the moment without going insane. Or at least without releasing an exaggerated amount of energy to protect yourself.

“To what? Help me grieve? God, this whole family is so quick to tell me to suck up my pain and so worried about fixing yours! Somebody had to pay because you never seem to. Destroy the world, kill Pogo, almost kill me, and for what? So we can all run around and clean up your mess? I’m sick of it.”

You could feel Diego’s concerned gaze dwell on you. “Take it easy, Allison,” Five interjected.

“This isn’t helping,” Diego added, knowing that Allison wasn’t exactly known for respecting the boundaries of others when she felt attacked as a person.

Ben shushing at both siblings, and anyone who were trying to get between Allison and her thirst for vengeance, reminded you he was still being an asshole. Even if he was being nice when no one was looking.

You sighed, rejecting his offered touch by leaning forward. Ben’s grumpiness was more than obvious. If you didn’t already sense it growing in him, then it was the small grumbling noise he made while leaning back.

As soon as Viktor tried to say his part, Allison yelled, “Shut your mouth!”

From across the room, you felt Viktor choking from Allison’s power upgrade. But this didn’t end there when Allison kept screaming, “Every time I build a new life for myself, you end the world and take it from me!”

Feeling angry for Viktor’s sake, Luther jumped into action. “All right, that’s it. Knock off the power shit, Allison. It’s not okay!”

The gratification grew around her when Allison delivered one last blow. “We should have left you in the basement.”

The unrest of your siblings broke out when she crossed the line. Diego jumped up from the couch with the others, commanding resolutely, “Whoa! Allison, all right!”

Viktor finally had enough when he slapped her in the face with the back of his hand. After being asked about her well-being, Allison assured them, “I’m fine. Let’s continue.”

You wished it was that simple.

With his footsteps departing, Viktor shook off his hand with rage.

“Sweet. You guys fight just like us,” Ben commented with a smug grin on his face.

There was sadness and disappointment in Diego’s voice when he elaborated, “Nah, man. We don’t fight like this.”

Once the air felt clearer with the absence of Viktor—or at least without a face for Allison to get mad at—you managed to breathe normally again. Your body still felt shaky when you stood up, needing a moment to come to your senses again.

Luther seemed to have read your intentions correctly, when he said, “Hey, Y/N, where-”

Blinking wearily, you murmured hoarsely, “I need a moment. I think everyone could use a bit of a break,” before walking around the couch.

Unfortunately, that meant crossing the path of Allison who eyed you with apprehension. As much as you wanted to avoid the confrontation. Allison’s arms were crossed when she faced you.

She smirked crookedly, tilting her head. “Have you decided to manipulate my emotions? Take my anger away?”

You felt too tired for any sort of conflict to arise again. As much as there was a lot unsaid between you two. Unlike her, you didn’t believe in manipulating other people.

Inhaling deeply, you gathered your strength. Truth be told, you had no intention of hurting her. With that in mind, you still couldn’t stop the pain from showing on your face. “I thought you knew I don’t force myself onto others,” you said almost in disappointment before leaving the sitting room and any of that lingering darkness behind. It felt way too obvious when the air you breathed seemed cleaner, less of a struggle.

You barely walked a few steps down the hallway when you heard slow footsteps follow behind.

“Where are you going?” The voice of Ben inquired expectantly behind you.

You sighed before you slowly turned around to face him. “I need some fresh air. Going up to the roof.” You smiled sarcastically. “Sorry I can’t enjoy the show.”

Ben looked over his shoulder to keep track of where the others were. The glittering in his eyes revealed his intentions before he even spoke. “You want to see my room?” Ben’s idea of flirting entailed him placing his hands in his pockets and letting the muscles in his arms flex.

As much as his concept of fun would serve as a nice distraction, you still couldn’t help the little awkward smile on your face. “You think the air’s better there?”

The earnestness in Ben’s eyes couldn’t fully diminish the mischief he had in mind when his eyes wandered up the stairs. “Well, it’s definitely secluded. No one’s going to bother you there.” His suggestion turned into something more teasing. “You could see how it looks in broad daylight.”

Leave it to Ben to try to cheer you up while the situation was so dire.

You chuckled. “Sure. No ulterior motives at all.”

Ben covered his chest in mock hurt. “Moi? What do you think of me? I’m just a nice guy who’s offering his private quarters as a small sanctuary for you.”

You nodded, pursing your lips. Remembering how he could stir some trouble when it was fun for him before choosing to go in a completely different direction when it suited him. “Sure, nice guy.” You braced your hands against your waist. “Would you also give that offer to Diego?”

Ben’s face remained blank. “Right. Are we talking about the guy with the stupid hat or with his knife kink?” When you didn’t rise to the bait, he continued, “Don’t worry, I don’t care about their names. My hospitality does have its limits after all. Besides, you’re one of the few people I don’t mind being up there. You know, maybe I could help you take your mind off of things.” Ben offered, stroking your arm through your clothing.

It was with reluctance when you pulled away. “As much as a distraction would be appreciated, I need to be alone right now. Unless you still want that anxiety attack while being around me.”

Nonetheless, the reminder made him smirk. “Promises, promises.”

“Whatever you guys decide, I’m all for. Clearly you don’t need me for it.”

You still had your eyes closed when you heard the door on the rooftop slide shut. With your hands on your stomach, you were lying down on the cornice and enjoying some peace and quiet. The sensation of the familiar aura reached you, instantly letting you know who it was that joined you.

You breathed in deeply, thrumming your fingers against your abdomen. “I wasn’t aware that I gave off the impression that I wanted company?”

“I was being more than generous by waiting five minutes before coming out here,” Ben hissed, like it went without saying that he would show up.

You smiled serenely. “What a gentleman,” you whispered teasingly. Ben seemed to be in one of his moods. Judging by that, you surmised he met another of your siblings or one of his own who soured his attitude.

The auditory perception of a city burning from the assimilation of the Kugelblitz rang in the distance. The only thing out of place in this universe. With you lying on the cornice it felt like the good ol’ times … if you tried to ignore the abuse and trauma being inflicted on by Reginald.

Ben placed his arms next to your head and leaned his body against the waist-high parapet, exhaling loudly.

You cleared your throat, deciding to take his bait. “Something on your mind?”

Ben didn’t need more prompting when he just as quickly replied, “You know, your emo brother is really something else. I mean, being stubborn just to stick it to someone or because they didn’t get an apology? Talk about pathetic and spiteful.”

So, it was frustrated Ben who needed to vent.

You sent him a small smile, watching him upside-down. Or more like to the side. “Yes, because you could never be spiteful.”

Ben waved a hand in vehement agreement. Humor was shining in his eyes when he smiled. “Exactly. You really get me.”

He eyed the bricks in the low wall. “Sloane, Lila and Christopher are going to work together to contain it. Viktor, as well, if he finally gets off his butt.”

“That’s good.” You blinked at him, feeling like he was reluctant to tell something else. Which didn’t feel like Ben.

“I came here because I told the others they would need your help in beating this thing.”

Astonishment filled your belly with uncomfortable heat. The blood rushed to your head despite you slowly sitting up. Your feet dangled at the sides of the wall. “Why would you do that?” You said with a husky voice.

“You have all these abilities at your fingertips, you just won’t use them.”

You shrugged your shoulders, surprised by Ben’s insistence. At feeling enraged on your behalf. Especially since he only knew you less than a week. “I’m just an Empath. I can’t control stuff which … probably isn’t even human.”

“You’re not—you’re not just one thing. Do you even see what you’re capable of? I’ve seen it. I mean, converting energy? Projecting illusions? And you’re supposed to be Number Eight? What the hell?”

“The numbers don’t really mean anything. I mean, Viktor is like Number Seven.” Even you could hear that your arguments sounded feeble. After so many times of being told to be one thing by Reginald Hargreeves, it felt like second nature to tell Ben you weren’t what he said you were. It felt surreal to have someone other than Diego in your corner claiming you were more than you wanted to acknowledge.

Ben shook his head. “In another universe, you could’ve been a Sparrow. I mean, what just happened in there?” He pointed back to the Academy. “You could’ve influenced everyone in there and be done with this shit.”

“That’s not me. I do that to people who hurt us. Not my own family.”

“No, that’s not it. You know what I think? You’re just so scared to show your true potential. Show them what you can do. I’ve seen you. If you were able to blast me away by creating a shield of kinetic energy, you should be able to hold something else in place.”

You narrowed your eyes at Ben’s advocacy on your behalf, feeling overwhelmed by his mere presence. “Why are you so adamant in analyzing all of my powers? Is this your plan to recruit me? You already gained Luther. What else do you want?”

“I’m trying to help you. You could be so much more than just the girl who feels stuff around her,” Ben said with utter passion in his voice, making the veins in his neck protrude.

“Wow, I’m being psychoanalyzed by you because I’d rather not take care of a ball of lightning? So, tell me, what else am I supposed to be afraid of?” Yes, you were being defensive, but maybe a small part of you actually wanted to hear someone state objectively—more or less—that you could hold your own to someone like Allison or Viktor.

Well, Viktor was kind of a big deal. You favored the possible outcome of at least standing firm against him for about five minutes or without instantly dying.

“You’re terrified of losing them. How they would react to the magnitude of your true self. You think everyone is like Dad. But they’re not. Screw everyone else if they are.”

Wow, resilient Ben was something else. Especially if he defied—at least mentally—someone like his father. Knowing it would be a long time coming before he would actually turn away from him.

You remained silent, trying to process his analysis before you finally found your voice again. “Did you give Viktor the same pep talk when you tried to rouse his participation?”

Ben smirked at the memory. “You know I can be very inspiring.” He sighed heavily, offering his hand. As if it took a lot out of him to even provide the gesture. “Come on.”

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest. After some hesitation, you exhaled and reached forward until you felt the warmth of his hand. Trying to pretend you didn’t sense Ben’s respect for you once you touched his bare skin. He helped you down from the cornice.

You sighed, knowing that time was of the essence. “Let’s just do this.”

As soon as Ben and you headed down to the basement, you noticed how both families were already gathered.

Five turned around, with his arms crossed. “Nice of you to join us. Wouldn’t have been the same without you.”

Diego wearily rolled his eyes. “Five’s just being Five. He didn’t have his coffee yet. We could use your magic touch, you know.”

Truth be told, Five always felt like a dark horse to you. And someone who behaved like an old man when he finally blinked back. Sometimes you just wished that you could actually get to know him. Not just the stories of legendary status about the outlier of the family who first defied Reginald. It felt like this was the only thing keeping you from truly becoming a part of this family. As much as you yearned to be. Running from one apocalypse to the next didn’t make you feel like Five even had the time to get to know the newest member of the family.

“You okay, kid?” Diego asked quietly, appraising your eyes for any mental harm shining through.

You nodded calmly to cease him from worrying too much. Something else caught your eye though. With wariness you scrutinized the Kugelblitz in the center of the basement. “So, that’s the thing, huh?”

Fei stepped forward. “If you mean the entity which is responsible for the collapse of micro black holes absorbing everything around it, then yes.”

“And absorbing billions of people so far. I don’t think we have a lot of time,” you said anxiously.

“No time like the present then.” Ben clapped his hands once, ready to get rid of the universal threat for good.

“Okay, how do we start?” Viktor inquired with a curious mindset.

Sloane did the honors of explaining. “Have you ever moved a nest of bees? You can’t just pick it up. You have to keep the nest calm while you build a box around it, and then you trap it.” Her eyes met yours. “Ben said you could contain it. Keep your shield over mine.”

You merely nodded in understanding.

“One of those black holes inside is vibrating at a different rate,” Fei continued.

“I can feel them.” Viktor nodded.

“Good. Whatever happens, don’t let them speed up or change, or everything will blow.”

“Don’t shake the bees. Got it,” Viktor replied to Fei.

He started it off by becoming paler and controlling the vibration frequency, with Lila mimicking his actions. As soon as Sloane used her gravitational powers to condense it, you pushed forth a telekinetic shield from within to keep the entity contained.

Grace’s voice spoke faintly from the stairs. “You didn’t tell me you were building a prison for God.”

“Mom?” Diego asked confusedly.

“The day of vengeance was in my heart and my year of redemption hath come,” she said ominously before pointing a flamethrower towards anyone standing in her way.

You kept one hand focused on the ball of lightning while stretching out your other arm, using an encircling shield to keep them safe. Inadvertently, the flames started to lick Grace’s skin. “Does anyone mind? Not good at multitasking here,” you said while keeping your eyes set on this universe destroyer.

Five had the good sense to blink her away before Diego would have to take care of his surrogate mother himself.

The moment when everything was calm again, Christopher disintegrated into smaller cube pieces, containing the Kugelblitz. You watched in suspense, feeling Ben move closer to you.

Sloane held Luther’s hand. “Next Kugelwave in three, two, one.”

Everyone held their breath. Counting the seconds after the destruction was supposed to take place. Almost like you expected something wrong to happen.

You were studying Christopher when the sentient box released a fart.

Exhaling a breath of relief, you looked at the others while chuckling.

You could swear you even heard him utter audible sounds which sounded close to, “Oh, was that me?”

The Sparrows certainly knew how to party and have a good time. Once the Kugelblitz had been dealt with, Sparrows and Umbrellas alike danced and drank together. Diego was a good sport by cutting off the top of champagne bottles with a katana before Ben poured the alcohol into the flutes of any willing participants.

You had the perfect view from the couch while Ben was getting sloshed and kept on filling Five’s champagne glass. It was actually hilarious to witness.

Diego was having fun dancing while balancing the longsword and jostling Ben from behind every time he tried drinking straight from the bottle.

You eyed the approaching company joining your lonesome self.

“Is someone having fun?” Fei asked with a smile.

You lifted your glass for show. “Already did. This is me relaxing and enjoying myself.”

“I saw that. You and Sloane seem close.”

You narrowed your eyes, remembering you dancing with Luther, Diego and Sloane at times. Your relationship to the Sparrows was slightly less tense than you were used to. But due to the power struggles within that family and maybe some hesitation in your own family, you still decided to keep your distance from Ben.

Despite the dark-eyed stares he was sending you from across the room. You remembered the few times when he leaned his body against your back while playfully filling up your glass when it was starting to empty. Ben’s body language was more than obvious that he wouldn’t mind a few dances with you. But you also knew he would never do that, especially with his family members watching.

“Well, of course, she’s a sweetheart. Not to mention, Luther’s lady love.”

Fei hummed. “So, you like solitude, huh?”

“Sometimes. Keeps me calm.”

“Well, Allison just left, so your mood should definitely increase by not feeling her presence.”

You shrugged. “As long as Viktor and Allison are not in the same vicinity, sure.”

“That was some good work you did in the basement. It really makes me wonder though … the fact that your family didn’t advocate your skills in the first place. I mean, why would my brother throw your hat in the ring? He seemed really certain … that you would deliver.”

Fei’s suspicious mind being disguised as interest didn’t put you at ease. “What do you mean? He just wanted this entity out of his basement. The sooner, the better. Now he has one less thing to worry about.”

“Just curious about his involvement, that’s all.” Fei braced her arm against the backrest of the sofa and leaned closer in a secretive manner. Giving off an impression which bordered on threatening and being your best friend. “Sounds very altruistic. The problem with that is, Ben isn’t the selfless kind, he always has something else in mind. I mean, he mentions your name and instead of sending one of your brothers, he’s getting you himself? Sounds interesting, don’t you think?”

Your eyes caught Ben who was already staring at you and Fei with a frown. You gazed speculatively at Fei again. “Is there still some internal power struggle I should know about?”

Fei threw her head back to cackle, like you had said the most entertaining thing ever. “Isn’t there always?”

You bit your lower lip and stood up. “Why the curiosity?”

Fei remained seated when she looked up at you. “Someone has to keep their guard up. I’d hate for you to turn into my enemy,” she said monotonously, so matter-of-factly.

“Ditto.” You checked your surroundings to watch out for the remaining guests. Noticing how Lila just followed after a departing Diego. Maybe it was time to slowly hit the road while things were somewhat amicable. “You know what? I think I’m going to hit the kitchen if that’s okay. I need to get some food into me.”

She waved a hand to indicate her consent. “You do that.”

~ Ben POV ~

The moment when you left the room, Ben was certain something had happened. The strange look you sent him before was the first clue that something was off. He grabbed Fei’s arm when she was about to cross the room. “What did you do, Fei?”

She smiled innocently. “Do? I didn’t do anything. Just had a little chat with your Empath.”

Fei calling you by that nickname left an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. Ben spoke through gritted teeth, “About what?”

She tilted her head to stare straight at him. “You, of course. You’re quite fascinated with her, aren’t you?”

Ben let out a scoff before smirking. “So, you can’t see it? What she’s capable of? Someone who can control the feelings of others? Unlike you, I see the big picture. Proves why you’re not Number One, huh?” He turned his head, knowing that the party was winding down. “You’re saying she left already?”

Fei crossed her arms and enunciated, “Your little Empath was just hungry.”

Absentmindedly, you appreciated the cold taste of Rocky Road in your mouth while sitting at the kitchen table.

“So, this is your idea of celebrating?”

Not realizing you were being watched since you were so distracted from your wayward thoughts, you looked up to see Ben leaning against the doorjamb. “This is me eating my fill.” You let your scoop-filled spoon hover in the air and smiled giddily. You glanced down, taking out another spoonful. “You know, since I’m having a taste of you.”

Ben tilted his head, huffing with small laughter. “Sounds hot.”

You rolled your eyes at that dirty mind of his and moaned, letting the frozen dessert melt in your mouth. “Not like that. You guys even have an ice cream brand and actually keep that stuff here.”

“Right.” With that, he stepped forward into the kitchen.

“I mean, it’s alright. Probably way too overpriced.” Your enthusiasm awakened and you turned your head to look at Ben. “Wait, does Christopher have a flavor?”

“Birthday cake.”

“Huh, not what I expected. Weirdly fits,” you muttered under your breath and shook your head to clear your head. “Anyway, just decided to have something to eat, otherwise I would just fall asleep. Fei said it was okay.”

Ben wandered to the cupboards, opening and shutting drawers. “There is still a bed, you know. Still hasn’t changed.”

You chuckled, pointing with your thumb behind you without looking. “Behind me.”

He pulled out a spoon and arrogantly waved it around. “Right, I knew that.”

You nodded, pursing your lips at his make-believe. “Sure you did.”

Ben got himself a taste after sitting on the bar stool diagonally across from you.

You slid the tub closer to the middle of the wooden table. “Besides, don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He didn’t seem to agree when he frowned in confusion. “Why is that?”

You laughed, like it should’ve been obvious. “Because of your sister? She probably has her crow spies everywhere. Especially after today.”

Ben chuckled to himself and widened his eyes sarcastically. “Wow, get over yourself, you’re not that special. Was just offering a bed. Purely platonic.”

“Don’t be such an asshole.”

“Told you, I’m nice guy Ben.”

His statement made you observe him silently and place your fist under your chin. “Sure you are.”

“I heard the two of you had a conversation. What did Fei want to talk about?”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not getting in the middle of whatever it is the two of you are playing.”

“Can’t change the nature of people.” Ben licked the cold treat from his lips. “Still didn’t answer the question. What made you want to flee for the kitchen?”

Sarcasm made your eyes light up. “A healthy appetite.”

“If you say so.”

“Not going to divulge more, in case you want to further examine the details of my powers into your Eight dossier.” Sometimes you had to catch yourself from saying more. Since you had been seconds away from straight-out telling him that overexerting yourself just made you hungry in general. And if it was a good enough excuse to evade Ben’s sister, then so be it.

Narrowing his eyes in incredulity, Ben felt disgruntled for your sake. “Is that such a bad thing wanting you to expand your powers?”

“Not if it’s just your intent to gain some sort of upper hand.”

Ben’s eyes darkened seductively when he pointed his spoon at you. “You’re saying I still can’t persuade you just a little bit to join our little ragtag group of Sparrows?”

You leaned your body forward mischievously. “Are you saying I can’t appeal to you to join our band of misfits instead?”

Ben scoffed loudly, straightening up in his seat. “Hard pass.”

A self-assured expression lingered on your face when you spoke with a dry tone. “Right. Who knew our families could work together after all?”

“Oh please, only a few of them are bearable.”

With warmth in your cheeks, you felt yourself gush, “Look at you making friends. I’m so proud of you.”

Ben smirked mockingly. “You’re hilarious.”

Your mind went back to the party, remembering the unusual side of Ben just having fun. “Were you trying to get Five drunk?”

Ben chuckled. “Someone’s got to keep the old man in line.”

“Priorities, hmm?” You sighed, looking outside the window above the sink and noticing how dark it already was. “Anyway, I have to go. You know, not to overstay our welcome. Thanks for the dessert.” You closed the lid of the tub and jumped down from your seat.

He smiled sardonically. “I wish I could say ‘Anytime’, but, you know, still got a reputation to uphold.” Ben copied your stance, staring directly at you under the dim lighting.

Willing to play his little charade, you smiled softly. “Of course you do,” you retorted, wordlessly taking the spoons and placing them in the sink. You heard Ben stash the ice cream back into the freezer before he closed the refrigerator with a dull thud. You could feel your skin getting warmer the longer he was watching you intently.

You tilted your head in concentration and felt your eyes light up when Ben’s emotional state came in waves towards you. “Why the curiosity?” You turned around until you were gazing at Ben.

With a rough and quiet voice, he twirled his finger while muttering, “Turn back around.”

Pursing your lips with a humming sound, you followed his request and looked through the window which oversaw the courtyard. “You don’t expect me to tell you where the knives are, do you?”

Ben snorted at your imagination. “You think this is an elaborate ploy to stab you to death?”

“I don’t know, Brutus. Could be an interesting endgame.”

“Then tell me, what do you feel right now?”

You closed your eyes, breathing in deeply to center yourself. “Your playfulness, your curiosity.” You opened your eyes again when something else reached you. “Oh wow, you can’t wait to touch me, huh?”

Exasperation was added to the mix when he stepped closer. Ben exhaled heavily before you could feel his presence behind you. His warm breath tickled the back of your neck and his fingers danced around the nape of your neck, gently brushing your hair to the side.

“Are those goosebumps?” Ben purred.

You chuckled, watching Ben’s reflection through the window. “To spare your ego, I think I’m gonna have to decline to answer.”

“What’s that?” He asked, stroking the ink on the back of your neck.

You licked your lips almost in anticipation. “It’s called a tattoo. I don’t know if you guys have that in this universe.”

Ben ignored your amusing nature when you threw him a sassy look over your shoulder. “What’s it stand for?”

“What makes you think it stands for anything?” You whispered, getting lost in this intimate atmosphere.

Frowning in concentration, Ben analyzed the tattoo. You already knew what he was looking at. The base of two pyramids overlapping and facing each other, with a respective line drawn horizontally beneath the apex of both triangle shapes. His fingers carefully traced the shapes before he spoke slowly, “For sure. Very intricate lines. You probably picked this because you thought it looked cool, right?”

“I made the draft. Klaus was the one who held the needle.”

“And Klaus is … who?”

“The guy you punched?” When Ben showed no further reaction, you continued, “When we arrived?”

“Right. For a second I confused him with knife boy. Since, you know, mentally, I punched your knife brother-”

You rolled your eyes and interjected, “Diego.”

Like you hadn’t said a thing, Ben continued, “Countless of times in my head.”

You sighed, remembering the pure form of testosterone being released every time they faced each other. “You two shouldn’t even be in the room together.”

Ben’s voice turned mockingly lighthearted. “Oh, you promise?” It shifted into something mildly curious. “Keep going.”

You teasingly asked, “What do you think it means?”

“Putting me in the spot again? Alright. If it’s coming from you, they’re probably … the alchemy symbols for the four elements?”

He already knew.

You huffed, lightly shoving him back with your shield of energy. “Fucking asshole.” You turned your body. Despite your furrowed brows, an astonished smile still lingered on your face. You had to respect him for the hustle he was playing while pretending otherwise. Or at least his subterfuge as a way to touch your skin.

Ben braced himself against the jostling chairs with his hands while one tentacle shot out to keep his balance. Slightly taken aback by your vehement reaction, he chuckled, letting pure joy shine in his eyes. “Wow, was this as hot for you as it was for me? I like this version of you.”

You chose to ignore his idea of flirting. “I can’t believe you were trying to screw with me.”

The tentacle retracted into his stomach again. “I wasn’t. Well, not totally. Doesn’t explain the reason behind it. Why the four elements?”

“I figured after Reginald forced this tattoo on us, I should choose for myself what I really want to do with my body. And I learned while Klaus and I were experimenting with his recreational stuff-”

You appreciated the small moment of real and unguarded whimsy in Ben’s eyes. Something candid than just the sarcastic kind.

“I learned that my powers would enhance when I was connected to some of those elements. Like some sort of physical conduit. Showed me that everything was connected around me. That my mind could settle when everything around me was calm.”

His body language shifted into something more calculating with his next words. “Maybe you should just influence your environment, so you can finally calm your mind.”

“That would be more like a temporary solution.”

“Perhaps you should just stick with me. This way I can show you a better perspective than what your family is offering you.” Ben placed his hands in his pockets. “It could help you sleep better at night.” Almost like he was reminding you of his proposal, he widened his arms. “Offer still stands, you know.”

You chuckled. “Maybe next time,” you said, merely delaying the inevitable. With a small sigh, you advanced towards him until there was barely any distance separating the two of you. With delicate motions, you touched his neck, letting warmth wander through your fingertips.

His skin started to glow dimly under your hand. Wordlessly, he covered your hand with his. A part of you wanted to believe that he wanted you to burrow yourself deeper into him.

Ben inhaled deeply. “I’ll hold you up to that.”

Tagging: @cherryinsalemverse @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @ravenmoore14 @blackmagicwoman @lelaamela @kit-k4t @callsignwidow