#that would be weird! but cool! I wonder if he still has the dragon

[tj-crochets]

I've gotten a lot of comments on that other post about my grandma from people saying they want her as their honorary grandma, and I thought all my new honorary cousins could use a family recipe! (it genuinely is a recipe that has been handed down through generations but also it may or may not be the recipe on the container of oats lol)

Grandma’s Not-Very-Secret Chocolate Oatmeal No-Bake Cookie Recipe

Keep reading

[r--kt]

Do you like Kakashi's dogs? Let's talk about why there are eight of them.

another example of naruto's ✨cultural code✨

contents | the eight dog warriors chronicles · legacy · eight confucian virtues. also look at the cuties love them sm

Naruto Vol. 10 CH 90

[ one dog is wonderful, I'm saying as the owner of a sweet little york terrier. two dogs are good, they won't be bored together. three dogs? yeah, cool! how are you going to walk them though? four? yes... look, maybe we have to draw the line h- wha- EIGHT? Excuse Me!? ]

surely, it's worth starting with the fact that eight is a lucky number in Japanese culture — everybody watched Hachi. of course, this is not the only cultural detail where the eight is mentioned. I want to pay special attention to a thing that I didn't know about until I googled it, and this is clearly what Kishimoto was doing homage to with Kakashi's eight ninken.

The Eight Dog Warriors Chronicles

Better known as Nansō Satomi Hakkenden. and it's not just some kind of book, it's a novel, consisting of 106 booklets written by Kyokutei Bakin in XIX century. Hakkenden is considered the largest novel in the history of Japanese Literature. this is one of the main representatives of the gesaku genre, which includes works of a frivolous, joking, silly nature. further I will emphasize a few more times how damn popular this work is and how often it is reflected in culture.

here are some illustrations for these books

now let's talk about the plot. It's weird, but it's weird at samurai-dogs-story level so stay here.

In brief, the story tells about the commander Satomi Yoshizane, whose native lands were attacked by the army of a man, whose forces surpassed those of Satomi, and the samurai in despair swore to a dog named Yatsufusa that the dog would get his beloved daughter Fuse as a wife if he chewed that man's throat. surprisingly, the dog not only understood the owner, but also fulfilled his wish! after that the commander refused to keep the promise. however, Fuse, true to her word of honor, went with Yatsufusa to the mountains and became his wife. upon learning that his daughter was pregnant, Satomi, in a rage, sent a samurai to kill Yatsufusa and bring Fuse home. she stood up for the dog anyways and died with him. at that moment, eight pearls with hieroglyphs that denoted the foundations of Confucian virtue burst out of her womb. (...cheers for mythology, I guess)

Soon, eight dog warriors who were Fuse's spiritual children were born in different parts of Awa province. after going through hardships, they got together and became vassals of the Satomi clan, then won the battle, and soon reached peace.

some more illustrations made by Utagawa Kuniyoshi. from left to right: Inukawa Sōsuke (the dog warrior), Inumura Daikaku (the dog warrior), Princess Fuse (their mother).

the novel mainly tells about each individual warrior dog and his shenanigans in a funny adventurous way. huge fame has led to excerpts from Hakkenden being staged at the Kabuki Theater and mentioned in the anime and manga, such as Inuyasha, Dragon Ball, as it turned out, Naruto and so on. there's also a lot of films and video games.

The eight virtues

these are loyalty, filial piety, benevolence, love, honesty, justice, harmony, and peace.

they relate more to Chinese culture, but basically Hakkenden was inspired by it too. since I did not read the whole novel, I would still like to mention at least the values on which it is based, and which were embedded in the symbolism of this story. It's quite interesting to apply this to Kakashi's dogs. gives them more weight and depth.

It is also interesting to note that the reason why Fuse gave birth to dogs was also that her father was cursed earlier in the story in a way that his descendants would become depraved like dogs. in Japanese culture, dogs embody the duality of character: the same mentioned filth and depravity, and devotion and bravery. so as samurai. but this is a different conversation, more related to Kakashi and his dog poetry.

Did you get here? Here's an additional discovery for you✨

Pakkun's name (パックン) is derived from the Japanese onomatopoeia “pakupaku” (パクパク) which reflects the sound of munching.

Kakashi, that's very sweet of you.

thank you for reading this to the end ♡

[quona]

Scaling New Heights 🏰Towerziraphale & 🐉Dragon/Snek Crowley! --- --- ---

This is my piece for @contritecactite's FANTASTICALLY WEIRD AND WONDERFUL fic, Scaling New Heights (Explicit; AO3) in the GO Fairytale Bang!

In the story, Aziraphale is a sentient magical tower, and Crowley is a middling nobleman who is cursed, on the run, and in desperate need of shelter.

I decided to illustrate the very first scene where Crowley, unwillingly in snake form (that's the curse!), finds a lonely tower in the middle of a field with a window slightly ajar, and decides to slither on up.

If he’d heard three days ago that there would be a coup, he wouldn’t even have thought himself important enough to chase, but here he is, running through the woods and trying desperately to keep ahead of his pursuers. Red hair had never seemed like much of a blessing until now, but the gloaming and the autumn foliage work well together to keep him obscured when he stops to breathe. He can still hear them, not far behind, and he knows he has to keep moving. He’s not running for very long, though, before the foliage runs out and he finds himself exposed in a massive meadow. The expanse is surely too long to cross. His fear, previously calmed to a dull roar, flares up at the realization that he’ll be caught, and then he is no longer running but slithering. There’s nowhere to go. There is low grass as far as he can see. He can’t hear the crowd behind him, but the ground shakes with their footsteps. They can surely see him, a massive dark shape caught in the rising moonlight. He changes direction, hoping they’ll all just keep going in a straight line, and then he sees it: a tall tower half-covered in vines. His body seems to carry him there instinctively, and once he’s circled the tower, the only way he sees to go is up. He finds the side that, as far as he can tell, is the farthest from where he started, and he begins his clumsy, wobbling climb up the rough brick. His haste makes it chafe against his sensitive belly, and he has to remind himself to keep going every time he realizes he’s left the ground entirely—how do snakes even work? He’d have paid more attention to them if he’d known he’d be in this position someday—but he makes it to an open window and slithers inside. He drapes himself across the cool floor, exhausted. Just as he begins to fall asleep, he feels his body change back to its usual form, and he hears someone tut at him. “Silly creature. I do have a front door, you know.” Scaling New Heights (Explicit; AO3)

[hp-confessions]

Bill and Charlie have such paper (2D) personalities though, I'm still wodnering what was there to simp out of them because I've seen multiple chunks of people simp for them, barely even know anything of them except being told that they're 'cool'. Charlie totally is though, I love dragons sm.

Genuinely found Bill annoying though.

“Do us a favour, Perce,” Said Bill, yawning, “And shut up.”

How about you shut up??? Not even a Percy fan or anything but that's just annoying.

Can't even hate him properly because there's absolutely NOTHING. Uhh yeah he was rude this one time, nice this one time, has scars across his face because he can't even duel, figures (least offensive way possible btw nothing against scars), got a very beautiful woman as a wife whom he can't even stand up for.

His description wasn't even much and I usually long hair attractive and the dragon hide boots...ew....I wonder what Charlie has to say about that. Also, a single earing with a fang dangling from it just sounds weird? Necklace would be better...also his job, I'm sure it's not but it feels like a glorified bankworker, to which, I say Percy's job is more interesting.

What I want to say is, I'd like to learn more about Percy and Charlie and just Bill can go to hell.

~

[lagomoz]

playing baldur's gate 3 while rejecting all romance paths is actually hilarious because you get a harem all gunning for the least eligible bachelorette in all the lands

-caught off guard by Gale's magic lesson turning into yearning eye contact. I just wanted to learn about magic. I would give him a fist bump if I could

-Shadowheart asks to share a drink at the party in her tent. I go hell yeah pour up!, excited to party with my buddy, and my (real life, who's watching me play) brother has to tell me she was hitting on me

-Lae'zel asks to smash right in the middle of slaughtering a bunch of goblins. we're both covered in blood. there's several dead bodies right there. the rest of the party can 100% hear and see this. I tell her no thanks and continue killing goblins. nobody brings it up again

-wasn’t entirely sure if she meant “taste me” in a sex way or a cannibalism way at first. I would’ve been more likely to say yes to the cannibalism

-I ignore the weird S&M whipping guy until my brother suggests there might be a mechanical benefit to doing it. I hadn't thought of that, I just thought the game had a random weirdo for no reason. the rest of the party watches me turn down the clearly insane sadomasochist lurking in a shady dungeon until I remember stat boosts and run off to get whipped for combat advantage

-after knocking Minthara out, I accidentally steal her underwear. I apologize and sheepishly put it back in her inventory. everything else is still stolen without remorse

-Withers tells me not to get distracted by my bosom buddy. I have to inform him that not only do I have no goddamn clue who he's referring to but that he should be far more worried about me getting distracted by literally anything else

-Gale talks about the suspension bridge effect in the shadow lands. I excitedly agree that yes, I do know about that, isn't it interesting? psychology is so cool! the fact he might be trying to imply something by bringing that up is irrelevant in the face of fun trivia. this probably makes me more attractive to him honestly

-every time Astarion casually flirts in his dialogue I ask if he means it in a bro way. I suspect he wants to kill me

-Halsin asks to hit. I stare at him, go nope! and walk off. neither of us bring it up again

-world’s most awkward brothel scene. I’m most excited about the cat

-Orin replaces the circus dryad and tries to get information from a love test. I go oh well I have nobody to do this with and carry on to gleefully enjoy the circus without ever realizing it was her

-I make Gale lick the dead spider laced with aphrodisiacs because I'm scared of spiders. he agrees to lick the dead spider. Shadowheart judges him heavily

-after refusing Mizora I continue my hobby of trying new ways to harming her. explosions, magic, whacking her over the head, biting, etc. it doesn't stick but it's about the message

-I tell off creepy blood lady for trying to pressure Astarion and then cheerfully accept her creepy offer because someone experimenting on my blood sounds perfectly fine to me. her fetish is none of my business

-Astarion’s character arc around being only valued for his sex appeal derailed by the weirdo who’s second most prevalent thought after seeing him shirtless after the rune scars is wondering what kind of undead have nipples

-Withers. Withers do you have nipples. it’s for science Withers. hey wait where are you going-

-I meet an incubus. I politely ask him to put some pants on and then if he has any tips on murdering the guy I'm here to rob

-emperor asks to smash. I bluescreen for a good minute and tell it no thanks. neither of us bring it up again

-completely missed the implication Ansur and the Emperor were a thing. I would have nuked that squid idiot so much harder if I'd known. how'd you fumble an actual dragon that bad? I'd treat Ansur right

-I’m like 90% I’ve missed some other romantic implications because I’m focused on trying to loot every single tin cup

I haven’t bathed in a month. I collect body parts. I’m dense as fuck. I never have any idea what’s going on. I forget names, directions and what we were supposed to be doing constantly. I enjoy blowing people up. everyone wants me carnally

[timetravellingkitty]

Mulan 2020 sucks lol

Written and edited by yours truly

So, Mulan 2020 happened. And I am disappointed. Seriously disappointed. It is utter garbage. I would genuinely prefer it if I watched Mulan II 5 times in a row, and that's saying something.

There is so much to talk about because this has so many issues. I don't think my brain can handle a movie as bad as this for some time. It is a disgrace to the original animated movie.

(Who cares about spoilers?)

And yes, I can and I will compare it to the original movie because it is a remake. It is totally valid to see where this fell flat and where the original succeeded. I'm not saying it has to be like the original cartoon, that is stupid. As I mentioned, it's to highlight the failures of this movie.

Besides, even if we forget the fact that it is a remake, this movie is still horrible.

INTRODUCTION

Mulan 1998 is a classic. It has great visuals, an awesome soundtrack, wonderful and compelling characters, a great message and a cool plot. It's just a great movie in general. It is an adaptation of The Ballad of Mulan, a Chinese legend. Both the legend and the animated movie are about a young girl named Mulan who disguises herself as a man to take her father's place in the army to fight back against an invasion.

As big of a success Mulan was, Chinese audiences thought some things were weird. For instance, having a dragon be a comic relief character, given that dragons are highly respected in Chinese culture. So of course, Disney decided to try another shot, claiming that they wanted to be more culturally sensitive, accurate and closer to the original ballad.

Mulan 2020 is a remake of the original animated movie, and was marketed to be more "accurate to Chinese culture and the Ballad". This claim is, of course, false, because they failed in that aspect. Say what you will about the cultural inaccuracies in Mulan 1998, but at least it was a great movie. Besides, Mulan 1998 didn't pride or market itself on being culturally accurate, the way Mulan 2020 did, so there's that.

CHANGES

I don't mind some changes. And honestly, if there's one thing I appreciate, it's that it isn't a carbon copy of the original (looking at you The Lion King 2019).

Li Shang's character is divided into two characters: Commander Tung and Mulan's love interest Honghui, apparently in light of the Me-Too movement. This is a dumb reason. Disney wasn't comfortable with a superior having a relationship with a subordinate? The hell? The romance between Shang and Mulan was only insinuated at the end, when Mulan wasn't even a part of the army anymore, so there's that. Also, Mulan gave her consent, so I don't know what they’re talking about.

Mushu isn't present in the movie. I can see why though. He contributed quite a bit to the soul of the animated version but a CGI dragon would be very distracting. Also, the director said that removed him to achieve a more realistic tone.

Grandma? No grandma. Mulan has a sister though, who only exists to mess stuff up.

The Huns are replaced with the Rourans and Shan Yu is replaced with Bori Khan.

Mushu is replaced with a phoenix, who acts as an emissary for the ancestors

There are no songs, except in the end credits, which isn't a bad thing. The instrumentals of the songs in the animated one play during some scenes (I'll talk about the music, don’t worry)

CHARACTERS

The characters in this movie are so boring. Our lead character Mulan lacks the charisma her animated counterpart had. She's utterly bland, uninteresting and poorly written. In the original, she knew she wasn't physically strong and that she couldn't solve her problems with her strength, so she used her intelligence and wit. She excelled by working hard and being strong willed and determined. This Mulan is a well rounded character.

Mulan in the live action is given Chi powers (Chi is a big part of Chinese medicine, in case you didn't know). Honestly, I wouldn't be as mad at Mulan being given superpowers, had they actually done this properly! Chi isn't like midichlorians, it's something that flows through everyone. Mulan is naturally born with dumb superpowers and has to hide them because as her dad says, " Chi is for warriors, not for daughters”. There is a problem:

It has been mentioned many times that Mulan needs to hide her superpowers otherwise she will be shunned and ostracised. Then why doesn't she get more repercussions everytime she uses her powers? The worst thing that happens is little Mulan getting looks of disgust when she uses them. On other occasions, when she is now a part of the army, she uses her powers in training and she doesn't get any backlash? What the hell?? Then why even bother in the first place?

The only way for this narrative to work is if Mulan got more repercussions for using her powers.

If I were to make the line "Chi is for warriors, not daughters," work, I would make it go something like this:

*At the end of the movie when Mulan comes home*

Dad: Didn't I tell you that Chi is for warriors, not daughters?

Mulan: "I am a daughter, but I'm a warrior too."

(Yes, I know this is similar to a scene in Avatar: The Last Airbender, but this would be better, tbh. Also, watch Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Let me compare the training montages from both movies.

In the animated one, there is an absolutely AWESOME montage of Mulan training side by side with her companions, slowly gaining their trust. She climbs the pillar with both medallions by using her wit, not by brute force. This Mulan worked hard. Besides, the fact that "I'll Make A Man Out Of You" plays over this is the only thing that makes it better (banger song, thank you Donny Osmond)

In the live-action, Mulan is supposed to lift up buckets and climb on top of a mountain. There are also other training scenes, but those aren't very important. In these scenes, she succeeds with the power of CHI. WHY? Mulan here just achieves her goal because she is oh so special. She didn't work to achieve her goal at all, because she is perfect. No struggling or development here at all.

Mulan in the animated version was more concerned about saving her father. Mulan in the 2020 version is a dumb patriot who can't even do patriotism right ("I know my place. It is my duty to fight for the kingdom and protect the Emperor") How very empowering.

In short, live-action Mulan can do no wrong. She has no flaws, no personality and no charm. Everything comes to her pretty easily, because MAGIC.

Li Shang's role in the live-action is divided between Commander Tung and Mulan's love interest Honghui, as mentioned before. Both of these characters are flat, dumb and boring. Tung exists to tell Mulan to cultivate her Chi and to train these idiots (and to offer his daughter’s hand in marriage to her, unaware that Mulan isn’t actually a guy, but eh). Honghui is there to be a stupid love interest, who gives us an “I am Spartacus” moment.

The witch is by far the most interesting character. She actually has more than one side to her, has SOME kind of depth and you can even feel sorry for her. She is supposed to serve as a foil to Mulan, given that both have similar powers. In case you've forgotten (which is something I wouldn't blame you for), she's an outcast who's now working with Bori Khan. Why is she an outcast? Because of her Chi. The witch has said many times that she could kill Bori Khan in a snap, then why doesn't she kill him? Because she needs acceptance? What the hell? She decides to pull out the whole "We're the same, you and I," stupidity to Mulan, and I can see that. It's just that the writers just didn't put much thought into it. “It’s too late for me” because you saw a woman leading an army of men? Also, why does she warn Mulan that Bori Khan is coming? Unless she's playing both sides, except her motivations aren't made clear enough for this to make sense. Finally, she dies for the dumbest reason. God, it just makes me so mad. She had so much potential, but no. They just had to mess her up.

Bori Khan? MORE LIKE BORING KHAN. Not much is there. His animated counterpart Shan Yu was scary and contributed to some of the darkest moments in the movie. This guy over here is just...nothing. That's all I have to say.

Mulan's sister is only there to mess up the meeting with the Matchmaker. What a stupid change. First off in the animated version, it's Mulan who messed up, because she isn't perfect. She fails at being stereotypically feminine AND masculine, but in the live-action, she literally pulls off a Spiderman cafeteria scene, and the blame is put on the sister. In the animated movie, this scene is groundwork for Mulan wanting to prove herself and going on a hero's journey, providing depth to her character, but in the live-action, she's perfect. What is the point? (I know this section was supposed to be about the sister, but eh). The sister doesn't provide anything else to the movie, so thanks! I hate it. Moral of the story: Girls can do anything boys can, as long as they have superpowers. If you are born special like Mulan, you can be respected, whereas if you are like the sister, you have no significance and in the end, you can just fit in and be irrelevant. Congratulations!

The live action group of guys Mulan met and befriended in the army lack the charm and comedic timing of their animated counterparts. That’s it. Seriously. I have nothing more to say about them, because they don't really have anything going on. I don't even know why they are included, because their contribution is nil, save for them blandly speaking lines from the animated version’s songs ("I don't care what she looks like, I care what she cooks like"), which is seriously cringe.

The dad is there to tell Mulan that Chi is for warriors. A shame, because I really liked the dad in the movie. He was a source of wisdom for Mulan, whose greatest honour was having her for a daughter. In the live-action, he just takes the sword that Mulan is given at the end of the movie. The mom is meh.

The emperor is also meh. At least he was wise and cool in the animated version, but here he just does bed sheet kung-fu.

Did I mention that the dynamics between the characters are unnatural, forced, awkward in a bad way and in no way indicates any chemistry between them? Oh yeah, I didn’t, until now. They don’t establish much when it comes to emotion.

Simply put, Khan (Mulan’s horse in the animated version) had more personality than all of these characters combined

PERFORMANCES

Liu Yifei as Mulan was a pretty terrible choice. She is just a block of wood, who has absolutely no range, and this isn't because of the writing. She is genuinely bad, and is regarded as one of China’s worst actors (I kid you not). She just can’t emote.

Jet Li as the emperor is meh. But hey, he doesn’t have much to do, so eh.

Jason Scott Lee as Bori Khan is fine. He doesn’t suck, but he lacks the command and authority of a character who is supposed to be intimidating, but I guess it has something to do with the writing of his character.

Donnie Yen is a martial art legend, but unfortunately, he doesn't have much range as an actor.

The best performance of this movie is that of Gong Li, who played the witch. Honestly, she is charismatic, charming and has an idea of what she is doing.

To save everyone’s time, simply put: most of the performances are bland and mediocre. Partly due to bad writing and partly due to most of the actors not being, well, good at acting.

CULTURAL AND HISTORICAL ACCURACY

So Disney went all “we like cultural and historical accuracy”, which is nice. For example, the Huns are replaced by the Rourans, a real tribe in China around the time Mulan was supposed to be alive. They also removed the hair cutting scene, because as iconic and awesome as it is, it doesn’t make sense. Chinese men wore their hair long too. You know what? I like these kinds of changes. I appreciate accuracy. If only Disney didn’t pride themselves on their accuracy when they got almost everything else wrong (They somehow got Mulan's house wrong lol). I don't know jackshit about Chinese culture so just go watch that Xiran Jay Zhao video it's very swag

THE BALLAD OF MULAN

In a surprising turn of events, this isn't accurate to the Ballad, like they had marketed it to be (I know, I’m shocked too). In a reference to the Ballad, Mulan is riding a horse and she sees two rabbits running side by side. She goes home and tells her family that she saw 2 rabbits, and she thinks that one was male and the other female, but she wasn't sure. This just misses the entire point of the Ballad.

Long story short, Mulan in the Ballad is actually a seamstress. She joined the army in her father's place. She defeats the barbarians and goes on a ten year long campaign with her friends, after which they meet the Son of Heaven (a sacred imperial title of a Chinese emperor). He offers her a high ranking position, which she refuses, because she just wants to go home. She returns home and her family welcomes her. Sometime later, her friends come to visit her, and they find out that she is actually a woman. The friends are shocked because she has been in the army for 12 years and in those 12 years, they didn't even realise that she was a woman.

Mulan then replies:

The male hare's feet hop and skip

The female hare's are muddled and fuddled

But when two hares are running side by side

How can you tell the male from the female?

Which is where the poem ends.

So, Mulan just going on, judging those rabbits like that makes absolutely no sense. The Ballad is about how no matter how different men and women look, when they live and fight amongst each other, who gives a damn about the differences? You know what would have made sense though? If Mulan got off her horse, went close to the rabbits, examined them, and then made the conclusion that one is male and the other is female. This would actually be sticking to the message of the Ballad. Also, why do they make it ambiguous as to whether she accepts the high ranking position? I assume for a sequel (yes, God save my soul). Here we can see another example of its impeccable accuracy to the Ballad.

THIS ISN'T EMOTIONAL AT ALL

Everything that made the original film good has been stripped away. Every moment that is meant to be emotional is very dull. For example, the scene where Mulan makes the decision to take her father's place in the army is supposed to be a very powerful scene. Mulan is risking it all just so her dad can be safe. She might be killed if discovered, and her family would be dishonoured.

When Mulan comes back from the Matchmaker, she has a moment of reflection while singing "Reflection". This is the beginning of her personal journey, discovering who she is. In this, after Mulan comes back from the Matchmaker, she doesn't have a moment of reflection. The army immediately shows up. Am I really supposed to believe that Mulan feels bad about this? That Mulan is really struggling?

When Mulan’s friends are singing, it suddenly shifts to the striking scene of the burnt village. This, in my opinion, is the best use of tonal whiplash. From this point on, things are getting serious, and the emotional weight of this tragedy is felt. In this, they just randomly show up at the village.​​ There is no seriousness (stop trying to tell me this movie is adult, mature and serious, it just looks like that on the surface).

Their attempts at being emotional are poor and unconvincing, and ultimately, the end product is an emotionless, soulless, depthless entity.

THE MUSIC

The director mentioned in an interview that she didn’t add songs into the movie because it is “unrealistic to break into song when you're in war”, and I don't think I’ve heard anything more false (apart from the concept of a flat Earth). Even I, who isn't going into war anytime soon, know this is false. They instead inserted instrumentals from the original film. Except, it's very weirdly placed. The instrumental for Reflection is placed when Mulan is fighting the Rourans after she reveals herself to be a woman. Like, there isn't any context. In the end credits, they had the original song "Loyal, Brave and True" sung by Christina Aguilera, which was nice. I don't really have much to say in regards to the music. The music is overall forgettable.

THE ACTION

The action may seem weird, but this kind of martial arts is a part of the Wuxia genre, which is what they were going for. Well, they failed. The choreography is bad, the CGI is bad, EVERYTHING is bad. Honestly, if you want a good Wuxia movie, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon exists. The action is here stupid and stiff.

OTHER DUMB STUFF

Why does Mulan take her armour off before going into battle? That is just stupid. Can't you just take the bindings off? Also, WHY OPEN YOUR HAIR-

Mulan really likes kicking spears (and pointy stuff in general). Seriously. It’s weird.

The CGI is okay I guess, I don't know. The phoenix in some scenes looks pink to me. There are some pretty visuals though.

It is very obvious that there is a green screen used in the scene where Mulan and her friends find the burnt village. And it looks bad. Pretty ugly. It looks bad. The green screen looks bad.

The war strategy is just weird. I can't really say anything about it in text form because how am i supposed to describe it, help- (she literally teleported behind the bad guys in the avalanche scene-).

I like how the animated film, which had a dragon as a comic relief and other silly stuff, is more mature than this.

For what joy does Mulan get another sword from the army? Also, shame the dad is all “oh look at the values written on the sword, they are honourable” even though in the original the greatest honour was having her for a daughter.

How was Mulan even able to tell the gender of the rabbits?

Why not just try to send a warning to the Emperor that the Rourans are coming to get him?

Why does Commander Tung let Mulan lead them-

I AM SO DONE

Well, I think I have said everything I wanted to about this movie. I know I havent talked about its controversies but honestly, I am done. I am so done with this. This document took 5-6 months of my life. I am kind of proud of this, and there isn't much I have done to be proud of. I did procrastinate on this a bit, and I had stuff going on, but finally, I am done. In the future, if I remember something, I'll add it here, but I think that is unlikely. I never want to watch or even go near Mulan 2020 again. It's horrible, and there is barely anything redeemable. I hate it here. It’s been reported that a sequel is in development. If it’s true, of course I’ll watch it, how else am I supposed to validate my self hate? I am also, of course, the resident “friend who suffers for everyone else’s entertainment”. If you want a live action remake of Mulan, Mulan: Rise of a Warrior exists. Go watch it, it’s free on YouTube with subtitles. I really liked it.

If you’ve somehow made it this far, thanks for reading. I congratulate you for putting up with whatever this is. I would also like to take a moment to congratulate myself for actually committing to this. It was painful yet fun to complain about this to the best of my ability. If anyone wants to add anything to this, feel free to do so. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m out. I have lost my faith in humanity, and I have other things to complain about.

[duhragonball]

Requiem for a Bio-Broly

So I looked at the new Sparking Zero lineup, and it's currently at 184 characters, if you count the three DLC guys. And once again, Bio-Broly did not make the cut.

I'm not really surprised, but it is kind of interesting that this guy has never made it into any of these fighting games. He's in Dragon Ball Heroes and Dokkan stuff, and I'm pretty sure that's because those card-based style of games need as much variety as possible, which is why they do all those what-if characters and scenarios.

It only really surprised me when Budokai Tenkaichi 3 skipped him, because that game had a ginormous roster, to the point where it was tough to even guess how they'd fill all the slots. And unsurprisingly, often-overlooked movie villains like Garlic Junior and Dr. Wheelo were on the roster. But not Bio-Broly. I think that's when I first got intrigued about his exclusion from these games, because BT3 was the first game to get all of the other Z movie villains in it, and that made Bio-Broly conspicuous by his absence.

The later games had smaller rosters, but they also seemed eager to add some special attraction, usually a character who hadn't been used before. Raging Blast 2 had Hatchiyack, but also Androids 13 and 14. Battle of Z really touted Beerus and Whis, since I'm pretty sure that was their video game debut. And Xenoverse 2 has been adding DLC characters for the better part of a decade now. You'd think one of them might toss in Bio-Broly, if only for the novelty of it, but no.

I don't want to sound like some kind of Bio-Broly fan. The character sucks, and so does his movie. But he was still a movie villain. Like, that's kind of a special status in these games. They get used as bonus stage bosses or special unlockable guys, or whatever. GT is pretty awful too, but it's still fun to see Omega Shenron and Baby in these games. I would argue the games are the only time GT characters are really handled properly. I'm sure someone could come up with a cool story mode segment involving Bio-Broly. The quality of his movie is irrelevant.

So with this game, Sparking Zero, I figured he was probably going to finally get his spot, if only because there were so many spots to fill, and why not toss him in there, if only to get a complete set of movie baddies? But it looks like he got shafted again. I mean, they could still put him in as DLC, and I would think they'd just about have to. I mean, they probably want to do lots of DLC characters like with Xenoverse 2, but they already put so many characters in the base game, so who's left? They could do Cell Max, and some Daima characters, toss in some OG Dragon Ball and more Tournament of Power guys, but it's weird that we're even talking about this when there's a Z-Movie guy they've never used.

Like, imagine if Metal Cooler never got to be in any of these games. Everybody else, but for some reason Metal Cooler just never shows up. Movie 5 Cooler's there, and so is his final form, but no Metal Cooler, no explanation given. That'd be weird, right? After a while you'd wonder why that is. I mean, Cooler's henchmen have made it into some of the games. There's room for Metal Cooler, so why wouldn't they use it?

I think it's widely understood that Movie 11 is one of the worst, if not the worst of the DBZ movies. But I've never really seen anyone actively hating on it. It's more forgettable than offensive, and yet, Bio-Broly's exclusion from the games makes me wonder if that movie did more damage to the brand than I've ever known. Like, maybe it performed very poorly, or there's a lot of hard feelings over that production, so everyone at Toei just keeps the character as obscure as possible. I mean, they put him in the Dokkan and DBH games, but you never see like ads for that. Maybe they're worried that putting Bio-Broly in one of these roster reveal trailers would be so offensive to fans that it would hurt the sales? That seems pretty far-fetched, but that's where my mind goes on this.

Most likely, they just don't put him in because there's so little interest in the character, and there's always someone else they can stick in the game instead. I think there's a very real case to be made for adding in more Tournament of Power characters. If they put the whole Universe 10 team in a DLC pack before Bio-Broly, I'd be like "Yeah, that makes sense."

I just wonder where the bottom is. How big does the roster have to get before Bio-Broly becomes the next best choice for a new addition? 184 isn't the answer, but what about 200? 250? 300? When does it just get down to Bio-Broly and like... Shu wearing his fake Goku disguise?

I mean, obviously Fake Goku should be added before Bio-Broly. Look at this guy. He's great.

[midlandslady2]

Now that the disappointment of the episode has cooled off, it can be said that this episode got a few desired points checked for team black ✅ :

- Rhaenyra got her fire back. She stopped whining and got the upper hand of the game by herself with the dragon seeds.

- Daemon finally concluded his main task at Harrenhal and got the army he wanted.

- Daemon concluded his haunted castle side quests by learning to reject the crown.

- Rhaena started to pursue her own dragon.

- Rhaenyra and Daemon are now finally at a stage when they can “finish their last conversation” and take kingslanding together.

It is what we have been waiting for. Then why did it feel so unsatisfying? Each of the bulletpoints in the checklist made me cringe instead of cheer.

Rhaenyra is finally showing that she can play this game. And win it. But where did it come from? Suddenly she is all fire, no mercy, I shall take what is mine through fire and blood. It seems too sudden and OOC.

Daemon got his army by being forced to slay his first ally and bend himself to the will of the new lord Tully. It is a win that feels like a defeat but a win nonetheless.

Daemon already knew that Viserys never wanted the crown, he saw with his own eyes what the weight of the crown did to him, by losing his wife and living a miserable life. It was nothing new but in the span of minutes he went from “I demand you all address me as king despite having no respect for me whatsoever” to: yeah no, maybe I don’t want to live your life after all, bro.

Jace discussed with Rhaenyra getting everyone with Targaryen blood to try the dragons to which she said: no, because their blood must be very diluted by now. But now he doesn’t want that anymore. He thought he was special but his brothers also had dragons. How special can he be? Jace, I love you, but you are smarter than this.

I wanted Rhaena to get Sheepstealer, there’s no denying it. But now that she is about to I feel like she is the most selfish character in the entire hotd. There’s 3 children there, unprotected, to cross the sea, with no one to speak for them when they arrive in Pentos and she is like: who cares about babies? I’m tired of being their mom so I’m out to go after my own dragon because that’s the only thing that defines me. I’m not a baby person and I wouldn’t like to play babysitter myself but even I would never be able to do it the way she did.

Aemond running away in fear with Vhagar was deeply satisfying though 🤭

But I wonder if Aemond was not the prince regent and instead someone more level-headed like Daeron was (in the book Daeron was my favourite from team green by far), if I would not shift loyalties towards the greens. Probably not but still.

The writing feels off. And it happened in season 1 too, during episode 10 both Daemon and Rhaenyra and even Jace had very weird behavior. Alicent went from loving Rhaenyra, to wanting to remain friends with Rhaenyra, to despising Rhaenyra for 10 years, to wanting to remove Luke’s eye in cold blood, to wanting to be friends with Rhaenyra again in ep8. It’s sad to watch 2 seasons and realise that you don’t know any of these characters, you don’t know what they are capable of or what to expect or when they will suddenly shift. And some people may like it that way but I do not.

That being said and aside from my negative initial reaction, the episode had some cool scenes.

[yolatirra]

Okay, with all the Game Informer information I'm going to take a stab at some speculation for where the story is going & what's going to happen.

This turned out to be... a very long post.

---The Evanuris---

First of all, I was right that the male figure is Elgar'nan! Not that it was an uncommon theory, but I still haven't seen anyone else pointing out that his symbol is an eclipse, so I'm still running with my Elgar'nan - God of Darkness/Eclipses theory. But I'm still not sure exactly what to say about it other than that.

We can now make a pretty solid guess that the final voice in the Thedas Calls teaser trailer is Elgar'nan. His dialogue suggests that he's trying conquer the world, which makes sense. He was the leader of the elven pantheon, and likely kind of a tyrant. Ghilan'nain, on the other hand, I suspect cares more about doing her weird experimental stuff than ruling the world. I suspect each one will be causing different problems for us.

-Ghilan'nain-

Ghilan'nain might be attacking places and/or sending monsters to attack for her, in order to collect material for her experiments, meaning people, animals, lyrium, red lyrium, and other stuff. She may have particular interest in Seheron, Par Vollen, and Rivain, because of the Qunari presence in those places. There's also the tentacle monster we see over Rivain in the Thedas Calls trailer, and the voice associated with Rivain saying "Glory to the risen gods, they come to deliver this world".

I've always suspected she has some connection to the Qunari, because they seem to be a created race, and she's the most likely candidate for having created them. If a Tevinter magister was responsible for creating the Qunari, it may have been the Augur of Mystery, aka the high priest of Razikale, who is almost certainly either Ghilan'nain herself or a dragon who is closely connected to her.

There are also the thaigs. In Horror of Hormak, we learn that there were 12 mountains that (probably) Ghilan'nain sent elven prisoners to. There were also 12 great Dwarven thaigs. With the creepy lyrium pool in Hormak destroyed, that leaves the 3 currently inhabited thaigs, Orzammar, Kal-Sharok, and Kal-Hirol (which was only recently reclaimed). Of these, Kal-Sharok I think is the most likely for us to visit, since it's furthest north and we've heard of vague weird stuff happening there. So I suspect Ghilan'nain will be up to some shit over there.

I'm also wondering now if the lyrium pools are directly powered by titans in some way, which would explain why they are seemingly in the same places as the thaigs. Or maybe they just need to be built near titans for better access to lyrium.

There's also the Scaled Ones. If they end up being relevant, they're probably connected to Ghilan'nain.

-Elgar'nan-

I have fewer guesses about Elgar'nan, but I expect he'll go after Tevinter. He might kill the Archon or the Black Divine, or both. I could see him convincing many magisters to follow him, just by offering them power. The Venatori in particular would probably be happy to follow Elgar'nan, since they're already familiar with red lyrium, and Elgar'nan probably knows how to use red lyrium far more effectively than anyone else in Thedas. I wouldn't be surprised if Elgar'nan fully takes control of Tevinter at some point in the game.

---Locations & Companions---

-Seheron & Par Vollen-

We don't have any confirmation or even strong hints that we'll be visiting these places, but it wouldn't surprise me if we do. We should at least be learning a lot more about them. I think with Ghilan'nain in the picture, we may even learn where the Qunari actually came from, or at least get some clearer hints about it. It would be cool to finally learn what the Fog Warriors are.

We've been hearing about the Qunari less than I expected in recent news, but they may just be choosing to focus on Solas and the Evanuris for now.

-Rivain-

Taash is probably from Rivain, going by her being a Lord of Fortune and her location in the reveal trailer, so that's one connection. There's also the "glory to the risen gods" voice from the Thedas Calls teaser, which is probably either a Qunari leader or a Rivaini spiritual leader of some kind. Or, if the Lords of Fortune have a leader, that's another option.

-Antiva-

The "the crows rule Antiva" voice from the Thedas Calls teaser is probably a leader of the Crows. I'm going to guess this is Caterina Dellamorte, grandmother of Lucanis. It would make sense that we have some connection to her through Lucanis. Either he gets us access to Caterina, or Lucanis joins us because we talk to Caterina. That said, the world seems to think Lucanis is dead according to "The Wake", and something weird is going on with him, with all the weird purple eyes and wings symbolism, so who knows.

-The Anderfells/Weishaupt-

I'd love to see more of the Anderfells besides Weishaupt, but I'm guessing Weishaupt will be a very important location in this game. I suspect the blighted forest we see Davrin in in the reveal trailer is either south-east of Weishaupt in the foothills of the Hunterhorn mountains, or north in the Donarks.

Really hoping we go to the shore of the Volca Sea at some point, but there's no particular evidence for that.

I think Weishaupt is going to be pretty much destroyed in this game, and we may visit it more than once.

-Nevarra-

The Necropolis is going to be important somehow, but I can't even guess at how. Maybe there's some old artifact buried in its depths and we have to find it? Maybe there's a particular spirit living down there we need to talk to? Maybe, like much of Thedas, the Necropolis is actually Old As Fuck and there's elven stuff at the bottom.

Emmrich, of course, will be our guide.

-The South-

I doubt we'll be going anywhere we've been before. Skyhold seems to have gotten its farewell in Callback, so as much as I'd love to see it updated in pretty graphics, I don't think we'll go there. Though maybe we could see it in a flashback, and find out why it's called Tarasyl'an Te'las. I could also see a quick visit to Val Royeux to talk to the Divine or whoever is on the throne, but I think it's more likely they'd come to us in the north or we'll just talk to them via letters or through the Inquisitor.

-Tevinter-

Okay, I think there are going to be some BIG changes to Tevinter by the end of this game. I expect Elgar'nan to kill most of its existing leadership, so by the time we take down Elgar'nan, Tevinter will need a completely new government.

I think the Tevinter-Qunari war will be resolved in the first half of the game, because both sides are going to be taken over or destroyed by the Evanuris. "Peace" via conquering.

---Plot---

-Prologue Predictions-

Here's my guess for "where the hell is Varric when Rook & the others are in the fade?"

While I, like most people, agree that Varric's death has been HEAVILLY foreshadowed, I don't think he dies this early on in the game. The devs and the community council members keep saying he's a major character, and I don't think they would keep emphasizing that if he dies a few hours into the game. At least a couple community council people have even said they do not know Varric's fate, and they've played a good bit further than the Game Informer article described. I do, however, think Varric will die at some point in the game, either at the midpoint or sometime during the second half. I doubt all the foreshadowing is purely a red herring.

I also think a part of the ritual site scene was cut out of the gameplay trailer. After Solas blows away the statue, I think Varric tries to take the dagger away from him while he's distracted, and probably succeeds. Either Varric has the dagger, or he gets it away from Solas and it falls off the platform (which I think is more likely). He then falls down the stairs, which is why we maybe see him in the background in that one shot. I doubt Solas attacked him or hurt him intentionally, but he may have used magic to pin him in place, which would explain the green glow & why the blurry figure seems to try to get up, but can't.

What I'm not sure about is how Rook's blood gets mixed in with the ritual. Maybe Rook helps Varric get the blade away from Solas, and ends up getting cut by it? Maybe there's some kind of fight between Solas and the Evanuris and Rook gets caught in the middle?

Moving on past the gameplay trailer, I don't think Varric gets sucked into the fade with the others. Either he manages to hide from Ghilan'nain and Elgar'nan, or they dismiss his presence as unworthy of their attention and leave without hurting him. A few things could happen after that.

Varric goes back through the eluvian and arrives back in Tevinter as expected. He goes to the Inquisitor or to Dorian, seeking help from old friends because he has no idea what happened to Rook, Neve, Harding, and Solas.

Varric goes back through the eluvian, but it takes him somewhere else, because it's not working right with Solas stuck in the fade. From there Varric still finds his way back to the Inquisitor or Dorian, or he ends up lost somewhere.

Varric gets picked up by other Veil Jumpers, and we meet up with him soon after the quest with Bellara. This could also happen if he tries going through the eluvian and it doesn't work.

If Varric ends up lost somewhere but isn't picked up by the Veil Jumpers, I think he'll end up back with the Inquisitor or Dorian regardless. I doubt we'll spend multiple missions trailing after Varric.

While the idea of Varric getting stuck in the fade with Solas is funny, I doubt it would actually happen. One, I don't know if anyone but an Evanuris could survive the fade prison Solas has created. Two, it seems like a waste of Varric as a character. Presumably he wouldn't be able to communicate with Rook the way Solas can, so he'd just be absent from the story until he and Solas are freed. That doesn't line up with him being a "major character".

Could the Evanuris capture him? I guess, but... why? These are elven gods, and we know the ancient elves didn't really see the dwarves as people ("witless, soulless"). What information would they expect to get from him? They likely wouldn't consider using him as a bargaining tool either. They'd be more likely to kill him than capture him, but even that I think is unlikely. I think they'd just ignore him, or not even notice him.

When Rook leaves the Lighthouse and ends up meeting Bellara, they're trying to get back to the ritual site. Why would it be important to return there? Two reasons. One, figure out where Varric is and if he's dead or not, and two, retrieve the ritual dagger. I doubt it ended up in the fade with Rook, because that would be way too easy. We'll have to search for it. That'll be the first big goal of the game.

If we meet up with Varric after the quest with Bellara, either he has the dagger or he doesn't. If he does, cool, we have it now. If he doesn't, we have to keep looking for it. I suspect he wouldn't have it.

From here, Bellara acts as a guide to get us back to the ritual site. The dagger is likely still here, and I suspect that recovering it will allow us to travel through the eluvians accurately. It's possible we'll have to keep searching for the dagger, but if I'm right about it acting as something like a key for the eluvians, we'll probably have access to it pretty early.

At this point, if we haven't met up with Varric yet, we'll probably seek him out. I would assume Harding knows how to get in touch with him and/or the Inquisitor, so this may be where the Inquisitor gets introduced. It seems a little early to introduce the Inquisitor, but maybe the pacing of it works out. Besides, I don't think Rook at this point would feel they have the authority to start giving orders or leading people on missions. They aren't a leader yet, so they're going to seek out leadership.

I kind of doubt we'll have a full dual-protagonist thing with Rook and the Inquisitor, but the Inquisitor may be playable for specific story sequences. The possible specializations for the Inquisitor are mostly not present in this game, so trying to transfer their abilities and playstyle to Veilguard wouldn't make much sense. They could have a very simplified playstyle in comparison to Rook, but I think it's more likely the Inquisitor just won't be playable in combat. They could join the party as a guest though, like Varric does in the gameplay trailer.

So, we might meet with Varric and/or the Inquisitor here, and this might be where our group gets the Veilguard name. Together we decide on our next mission.

With Bellara, Neve, and Harding in the party, we need a warrior, meaning we'll probably go to Rivain or Weishaupt next. I think, considering that darkspawn showed up in the Arlathan Forest during Bellara's intro mission, Weishaupt is more likely. Either we hear of something going on there, or we choose to seek out the wardens for help/advice/information.

It's also possible we meet Davrin somewhere else and go to Weishaupt later on, but if so I can't really predict where. Maybe Varric or the Inquisitor are already aware of Davrin and introduce us before we head over to Weishaupt.

-Major Plot Threads-

I think we'll have three major plot threads through the story.

Elgar'nan conquering and Ghilain'nain experimenting

Solas being trapped and us finding a way to free him (if we choose to)

The Tevinter-Qunari war & conflict between Qunari factions

There may also be a fourth one involving the titans but it's hard to guess at that with how little we know about them.

-Misc. Guesses & Theories-

From here it's a lot harder to speculate about anything specific, so here's a list of my guesses for future events:

If I were to guess about the order the rest of our companions will join in, I'd say Lucanis > Taash > Emmrich, mostly just because of their classes. I could see them joining in any order though.

Bellara manages to repair the housing for the archive spirit that we find in the veil bubble during her intro quest. It ends up living in the Lighthouse and either acts as our crafting/upgrade person or is a source of elven history.

Elgar'nan will fully take over Tevinter at some point.

The big circular building hovering over Minrathous will be involved in the final conflict somehow, though I doubt it's where the final battle will be. It might even crash down on the city at some point, leveling a good chunk of Minrathous.

Final battle will be in the black city.

Over the course of the game, Solas will try to convince us to free him. We might be able to choose whether or not to listen to him.

We are able to free Solas in the last 3rd of the game. Or, something happens that results in Solas being freed. The Inquisitor is present for this event and this is when their reunion happens.

Dorian & Maevaris show up in the story when some shit goes down with the Magisterium, maybe Elgar'nan convincing the other magisters to join him.

Either we meet the Inquisitor first and hear the Dorian's voice for the first time over their communication crystal thing, or vice versa.

Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain are both against us, but not necessarily working together. They may even end up fighting each other. We know the Evanuris often fought amongst themselves, after all.

The old gods Lusacan and Razikale are to Elgar'nan and Ghilain'nain, respectively, what Corypheus's red lyrium dragon was to him. In Trespasser Solas says Corypheus "discovered the secret of effective immortality". Since the Evanuris were already immortal, I would assume this refers to them coming back from being killed, as Mythal can.

Lusacan and Razikale are ancient great dragons, not just high dragons, and are thus incredibly difficult to kill in their own right. They are also more intelligent, possibly capable of speech.

Elgar'nan is the one who murdered Mythal.

Mythal shows up in dragon form toward the end and fucking wrecks Elgar'nan, maybe saving Solas from dying/sacrificing himself in the process (okay this one's less of a prediction and more "what if!" but still)

I think the Titans and Sandal will be relevant to the story but I can't even guess at what their roles will be at this point.

And that's a long enough post. I'm sure I'll have more theories as we learn more.

[mars-rnr]

Incoherent Rewatch of the final episode of The Hollow

The Hollow: Season 2 Episode 010

Spoiler Warning when you keep on reading! Road Kill!

Reeve's lightning bolt joke always makes me laugh- he can be so so goofy and, in my head, he can compete with Kai as the funniest guy in the room

Damn..At the start of The Hollow (s1 e1), Adam was the one who both acted and preached being calm and at the end (s2 e10, 2:03), he unravelled a bit

Kai confirming he is a ride-or-die type of friend by helping Adam punch the pyramid

Woah! Reeve knows how to drive!? This means he had driving lessons before he joined The Hollow games! Also to me it is kinda funny that Adam was so adamant about getting a car yet it was Reeve and only Reeve who drove it

I know Team B is the opposing team but I love their dynamic- they are matching their willing-to-burn-down-a-building energy

Slight tangent in a tangent: It is confirmed that Mira can ride a scooter and a motorcycle, Reeve can drive a car- As for Adam, he never drove anything! Adam would be the most obnoxious Backseat Driver ever and he can't even drive any vehicl e!

Haha! Adam is a passenger prince- both times he hopped on the car, he was in the passenger seat

That flipping snail!! D:< I'm still mad and sad over what happened with Skeet :<

The fight scenes, the team-ups & power combinations- all of it is so cool!

I love how sincere and committed Gustaf/ The Weird Guy is in helping these digital copies of real people- I wonder if Gustaf has more empathy for 'codes' or NPCs than most people

I can rest knowing Mira is flipping cool! (She was ready to ride a motorcycle off a cliff!!) AND ALSO THE HOLLOW CREATIVES KNEW MIRA WAS FLIPPING COOL!! THEY MADE HER DO EXTRA BECAUSE SHE IS THAT AWESOME!!

Mira is so cool bro I'm legit not lying or exaggerating- I just need to repeat like it like a flipping life mantra because it is the truth- When she threw that rock to steal that motorcycle, it just reminded it is over for me. I'm willing to give up anything for Mira- She is that worth it

The way she just said one word, 'Go!', and Reeve immediately followed up on it by continuing to driving and that zoom up to her face!! I'll say it again- Mira is so cool and The Hollow Creators knew she was that cool and awesome!!

I LOVE REEVE AND MIRA- THEIR DYNAMIC IS 'Gotta stop this dude from eating his own shorts because he is hella mad at our other friend' and 'Damn, one word and I'll bring tools to a help your bank heist or something but I'll be really concerned about you'

I like the different times Mira, Adam, and Reeve became resolute in their resolve to continue fighting with their digital life. Mira had a philosophical talk about her experiences, Adam made a heartfelt and slightly funny speech, and as for Reeve- 'I'm not letting us get erased from existence' he is proactive/ taking charge about it, and the fact it he said 'us' instead of 'me' because he is also doing this for his friends- He'll continue his digital life because he wants to and because of his friends

I love- LOVE! The genuine care and worry Kai has for Vanessa!! It reminds me of Terry and Claudia from The Dragon Prince. And my love for Terry and Claudia is well-known already <3

[tyrantisterror]

Who is your favorite Nintendo villain (Bowser, Ganondorf, Dedede, Ridley, King K. Krool, etc.) and why?

I feel like the snarky "aren't I clever?" answer would be to say Edelgard from Fire Emblem Three Houses, because that's a Nintendo game from a Nintendo franchise, and while Edelgard is more morally complicated than the "villain" label would suggest, she nonetheless is designed to be villain-coded both in general and by the very specific tropes and archetypes that Fire Emblem itself has developed. And since Edelgard is one of my favorite character of all time AND plays with the concept of villainy in so many different ways depending on all the different routes you can take in the game, she'd be my favorite villain character from a Nintendo franchise - because my favorite villains are the ones who take the coding of villains in culture and make you question what truly makes one villainous.

But I'm going to assume the intent of this question is, like, less obscure villains, villains who'd appear in Nintendo branding. Smash Bros and Mario Cart villains, right?

In which case my answer would be Bowser. I love how he evolved from a very simple and basic villain concept - big fire-breathing dragon who steals a princess - into something a lot weirder and more specific, both in appearance and especially personality. Bowser is one of my favorite examples of a villain from children's media and specifically a recurring villain from children's media, because like the best villains of that specific subsection of culture, he's ultimately less a true evil doer and more a metaphor for a temperamental and antisocial kid on the playground. He's selfish and throws tantrums and acts rude, but he's not genuinely wicked - he is, in his own misguided way, seeking out a social connection with others. There's something deeply pitiable and even lovable about Bowser - we all have our days where we want to stamp our feet and shoot fire out our mouth in frustration, or wish we could just tell everyone to fuck off as we take what we want. We shouldn't, of course, but we all feel that way, and Bowser shows us both why we shouldn't and, more importantly, why having those monster-moments doesn't mean we're beyond turning over a new leaf.

Because yeah, Bowser may be a jerk who causes problems on purpose, but no one really hates him. Mario and the gang still invite him to play board games and participate in their go-kart races. He is, in a weird way, as much their friend as their enemy, and that's wonderful. And, in its own very simple way, this makes you ask the question: what truly makes someone villainous? Because if the big fire-breathing princess-kidnapping monster can have a good guy deep down beneath the scales and the bluster, then can we really write anyone off as just evil?

Also Bowser looks cool as hell.

[fanficwriter284]

Hi guys!!! What’s your favorite things about each other?

"Jesus here we go. Trying ta get us to be sappy. Alright. My favorite thing about Tiff is how she's able to love my ass despite how much of a fucking handful I can be...and how supportive and headstrong she is. The twins, how those two are always able to keep me on my toes, never a dull moment with em. Slap? Well I haven't killed him yet so he's doing something right"

"I was your best fucking man put some respect on my name you fool"

"Fine fine. How loyal and funny his ass can be. Never leaves ya behind that prick...unlike some people who just...leave ya ta die....Anne? Well back in the day we didn't fucking get along but now we cool. She's knows not to take my bullshit and calls my ass out....Keeps me humble. Jig? The fact the guy don't judge. Billy? The guys cooking and how despite his...fucking creepy side he actually makes an effort to be a good guy"

"Awww Sweetface. My favorite thing about my husband is how he says it like it is. You know and get the real him. As for my babies how loving and sweet they both are. Slap how he always is there for my husband when I'm not and him always being there for us and the twins. Anne I love how open and loving she is. Billy is always so open and joyful always trying to remain positive. Jig how informative and helpful he is"

"Well for my dad, he never let's anyone give us a hard time and despite how gruff he can be, I know he loves us. My mum? How I can talk to her about anything and she never judges. Glenda....Can't say I have anything to--"

"...*Elbows*..."

"OW! OKOK HOW YOU ALWAYS HAVE MY BACK"

"...*Smirks*...Better"

"As Uncle Slap, how he is always one call away. And how funny he is. Aunt Anne is very sweet and kind and actually teaching e to crochet. She made me this cool Dragon Ball Z beanie! Uncle Billy how supportive and reassuring he is, and Uncle Jig, how forgiving and understanding he is"

"Alright my turn. Dad how he doens't give a damn abot what people think. My mom? How no matter how bad a day can get shes always there to some how make it brighter. As for Glen...hmmmm don't know I've existed around this simpleton for wayyyyyyyyy toooooo long. Can't say I have a favorite"

"Rude"

"Alright how you are always in my corner and there to back me up...Now Uncle Slap how he always is so creative with his shenanigans. We always have so much fun when he drops by. Aunt Anne, how she always has a response to no matter how weird a question is"

Thats what happens when you're married to a living book of shower thoughts.

"As for Uncle Billy and Uncle Jig. How they're always ready to lend a hand, also they're always there to listen to me vent and talk about certain things...I would not have passed like three of my classes if it weren't for them"

"Alright people favorite things huh? How much of an unapologetic asshole Chucky is while at the same time being a shy ass introvert. Tiffany no matter all the wacky and questionable shit I've done, she still lets me hang out with her husband. She never judges me which is great. As for the twins, look at em what's not to love about those two little wackos. I love spending time with em. As for Anne. What is there not to love about my darling Belle? She's kind, understanding, beautiful, and a wonderful mother. I can't just name one favorite...But her smile can light up a room"

.*blushes*..

"As for my little bros. Jig, favorite things gotta be how he doesn't change for nobody. And Billy how you can depend on him and he'll always be right there for ya"

.Well, my favorite thing about Chucky is, how despite how we never got along before. He is the sweetest Uncle to the triplets. And with Tiffany how no matter how tough and overwhelming things can get she drops everything and she's right there. The twins? How joyful they are and the antics they get into. Jig how he tries to understand what others are going through despite not being the best at emotions. He tries. And Billy? How selfless he is.

"Well, my favorite thing about Chuck is how protective he can get over everyone he considers family. It's sweet. Tiffany how genuine she is. She's very warm and welcoming! The twins, how protective they are of each other, and no matter the fights and teasing they always have the others' back. Slappy, how he tries to brighten everyone's day by making people laugh even when things can get hard. Anne, how caring and open she is. And Jig, how he tries to give everyone a chance, and through any challenge he will stand right by you and won't let you fall

"Hm...I suppose this favorite trait s present in all of you...How...accepting you all are...despite any differences or abnormalities...and how everyone here understands the other's internal struggles...I consider myself lucky to have found this group that I call family..."

[sun-stricken]

Hello! On the 19th of December 2023 you said in a tag that you ought to make a gray and gajeel hc list. I’m here to also ask you for that because you have a lot of wonderful headcanons and yeah <3

(also sorry for coming across as demanding or rude or anything, you seem very cool and tbh I’m interested in your ideas just sorta in general, idk how exactly to express that while also kinda asking for something so. Apologies for that, and no pressure to respond to this)

ngl u scared me by pulling out reciepts

thus literally took two months and its so short and i have my excuses but please just take it

the post they and i refrence is this one (i think)

* their friendship goes from cordial to feral in two seconds

* They work fairy decent together, but they prefer to do their own thing if they get paired for smth

* Fairy Tail has a very mutual distaste fpr the magic council, after the guild finally got back together (after Gray and Gajeel stopped ‘working ‘ for avatar and the council respectively), Gray would often tease him by treating him as if Gajeel still was with the council

* “Oh shit!! Move its the opps!” “you think ur so fuckin funny, dont you” “i dont know what youre talking about, sir officer sir”

* Gray yells at Gajeel and Levy to get a room anytime they do absolutely anything with each other

* Slayers (dragon, god, demon, etc) always grow fangs and watching it happen is like watching a baby teething, but it usually happens early on (within a few years of learning) so one of ft first times witnessing it was Gray (and Laxus but this aint abt him)

* He would grind his teeth or bite various items bc the pressure felt good

* but yk what wasnt good?? the fucking sound, also it was damaging his teeth

* so Gajeel, the generous soul he clearly is, let him bite his arm so he would stop

* it worked, Gray did stop grinding his teeth but the sound was no better, and now Gajeel is constantly cold and gets no personal space at the guild for weeks

* They agree with each other and have a fair amount of the same hobbies and interests (and shops they go to) and it both pisses them off and weirds them out to no end (“is this guy stalking me rn?? wtf is going ON”)

* They originally bonded over their mutual rivalry with Natsu

* “what a dumbass” “im gonna punch him” *sound of friendship forming*

[avalypuff]

I’m just gonna say it.

I don’t think Zonai and Hylians are capable of reproduction under normal circumstances.

This is Not to say that I doubt the existence of Sonia and Rauru’s offspring, or Zelda’s blood relation to them, especially given that’s the one thing the game did explicitly tell us.

But on to the reason I think this—

Zelda (as a series) has kept things pretty consistent as far as Hylian/[other] hybrids, with the only exception being an obvious one that Hylians and Gerudo are compatible. But other than that, we’ve never seen anything like a Hylian x Rito/Zora/Goron/etc hybrid (ok so the Goron one makes sense because of their canon asexual reproduction, but it just felt weird excluding them from my point) and it stands to reason why.

They’re not just different races. They’re completely different species, whose differences can’t even be compared to those of a horse and donkey, or lion and tiger. Just by looking at them it’s pretty clear the different peoples throughout Hyrule have incompatible DNA.

Yes they’re all sapient and can fall in love with one another, and that’s totally real and valid! But love isn’t enough to make babies when the lovers are one bird and one fish, or in the case of Rauru and Sonia, one goat-dragon and one human-shape.

However, unlike a Zora or Rito, I believe there is one factor that Zonai could use to create life with a Hylian… their God-like magic!

That being said, I am a lover of science, and if you are too, then listen up, my friends, because I have more to explain, because I STILL don’t believe they can reproduce by [normal means] don’t make me say it… I get enough bots following me

I believe, like other Zonai magic such as ultra hand or ascend, it has to be a conscious decision. A spell, in the simplest terms. Basically, it can’t happen by accident; not to take any romance away from the act, of course! (Putting the rest under a cut cause this is getting long)

To go a bit more in depth—and please keep in mind this is treading even deeper into personal headcanon territory—I believe the magic would neutralize Zonai DNA (or whoever’s providing the sperm. In this case it’s Rauru, but I wonder if he was the only Zonai to ever fall in love with a Hylian…) and it would work kiiind of similarly to parthenogenesis with the resulting offspring being more-or-less a clone of the female parent. That’s right. I believe their child visually looks just like her mother, Sonia, though she’d probably choose her own hairstyle. lol.

Anyway, mammals aren’t actually capable of parthenogenesis, and furthermore that act doesn’t involve sperm, but it’s a cool biology thing I wanted to build a headcanon sort of based around.

I’m also a boring old fool who doesn’t like idea of Sonia birthing a furry, even though I’m all about the ship of her and Rauru. Idk. Half the time I don’t even understand me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading. If not—if you want furry baby, just know I’m not directing this at anyone or trying to dismiss their ideas. I just wanted to share my own. Peace ✌️

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 113

A five hour episode? Oh yeah, that means it's gonna be a serious one. I'm already nervous ...

What the hell is this? Oh dear gods this is bizarre ... Sam, you are a strange one ... okay, I'm sorry, watching Robbie through this bit is SO WILD ... his expressions are always so priceless ... and suddenly it's all like THIS ... weird shit ... that one was ... just ODD ...

Critmas music? Interesting ...Sam: "SOME of us can sing!" Yeah ...

"Secrets in your boxers?" Please, I never have to hear that line uttered ever again. Like EVER. Please ...

So we're still in the company of Vox Machina? Okay, then ... wonder if this might be their very final adventure together? It worries me, knowing what they're going up against ...

Meanwhile Scanlan has to let his current crew down easy ... wait ... YOU DID WHAT, Scanlan? O.O Samuel Tiegle, DO NOT do that to us ... we know this gnome is a little bit of a wrong-un, but he's never been THAT wrong ...

"Keg"? Oh, so we're introducing a character JUST to send them off? Interesting ... yeah, I figured Grog would probably like Kent ... wow, this bunch are just a bunch of frat boys, ain't they?

Who gave Sam coconut shells? Ye gods ...

Good point ... IS THIS the new Scanlan Shorthalt? Is he staying like this? Would it be easier for him to change back, or is there time for him to change back?

Now we're having a conversation about Scanlan pooping. I love these people so much ... XD

He has ZERO Dexterity? Hmmmm ... maybe we should rethink this after all ...

Grog can make him some horse boots? Oh, that sounds like fun ...

Yes. Time to go. Going through a tree, then. Back to Vasselheim. This is getting to be a second home for them now, isn't it?

Checking in for the night, then. Okay ...

Catching up, then? Oh, Keyleth and Percy ... I mean, yeah, these two have been together the longest, haven't they? The best of besties, I've missed this ... but yeah, also ... very heartfelt, of course ... they do need this ...

I love how Percy calls Keyleth "an investment in their children's future" ... that could sound a bit weird coming from anybody else. With these two it's just CUTE ... :3

Trinket? Oh, okay ... WHICH one is this? Is it the original? Oh my gods IT IS ... O.O ... poor ancient bear ...

Ah ... yes ... the Vax situation ...

Only Vex could wish ill on the Matron and actually GET AWAY with it ... XD

Awwwww ... sweet old bear cuddle-buddy ... I imagine he's quite stinky, but it's still sweet ...

Oh my gods ... is Scanlan trying for a booty call? With GROG asleep in the room? This could be interesting ... oh, okay ... wow, yeah, she's just LETTING HIM HAVE IT, isn't she? Don't go easy on him, Pike! He doesn't deserve it!

Meat Man Imports & Sexports ... snort ... LOL

He's being relegated to AN EXTRA BED?!!! Oh my ...

Grog pretending to sleep fools NOBODY. I love it.

Boy, that is an AWKWARD sleeping arrangement for a centaur, clearly ...

Wow, Cerkonos is kind of a secret Scanlan superfan, that's hilarious. "the Scanman"? Oh my fucking gods ... LOL

Early morning arrives ... okay ...

Travis just rolled a lethal death roll for Chetney! O.O But he's GROG right now ... does it count? Somewhere on Ruidus Chetney just felt a chill run down his spine like somebody walked over his grave, I swear ...

The various preparations of the arrayed forces, getting ready for the day ahead ... hmmmmmmmm ...

Nice, so the Pale Guard are basically like Sharp's Rifles? That's pretty cool, I can't deny ...

A summons for Kiki? Okay, then ...

Massive brass-scaled dragon? Oh yeah, awesome ...

The Stratos Throne? Really? That's a big deal ... O.O ... AND Aeshanandoor? Don't those guys HATE each other right now? Interesting they're playing nice for the effort ...

Oh yeah, EVERYBODY'S here right now ... it's a big deal all right ...

Lieve'tel? Oh ... OH, a guest? OH OKAY!!! LIam's back! So THIS is who he's playing ...

Nice ... so we got a real badass super-goth elven dominatrix type helping them out in this one, then? Nice ... yeah, this is a great one for Liam to play, definitely ...

So she already knows Bertrand's gone? Yeah, okay ...

Yeah, so please be aware I haven't had a chance to get round to The Search For Grog or The Search For Bob yet, so I'm NOT familiar with this particular character ... but she seems REALLY COOL ...

Wow ... yeah, she's just REALLY INTENSE, isn't she? Like I said, I'm really liking her already ...

Judicators? Oh, okay then ... nice to have them on OUR SIDE for once ...

Ophera? Cool ... yeah, she's really cool too ... and THIS is a very neat trick, too ... yeah, she's definitely a whole lot better at big entrances than Keyleth ...

Celestials? SERIOUSLY?!!! Holy fuck! O.O Oh yeah, this is just ALL the big guns right now!

Oh okay ... Keyleth's turn to make a fancy speech? Hmmmm ... PLEASE roll good for this delivery, Marisha ... Matthew, you are NOT doing anything for our girl's confidence right now ... oh yes, nice going, Vex ... that's JUST what she needs right now ...

Yeah ... okay, that's a strong start already ... yes. YES. Nice. That's it. Be a woman for the people. And ... "FUCK SHIT UP!!!" Oh boy ... XD ... yeah, that's more like it ... THAT'S our girl. :3

A single raven? Oh my gods ...

Inspirational Leader? Nice ... oh yeah, that is REALLY nice! Way to go, Kiki!

Nice to have a broomstick handy for running speedy errands ...

And now it's a massive SILVER dragon ... okay ... O.O

Allura! Yay! Always nice to see her! :3

Oh, so they're going in via skyship? Cool. I wonder which one THEY'RE gonna ride in on? What are the chances, hmmm? Or might that be a little TOO on the nose?

Well yeah, I mean Grog would've been FINE with just jumping headfirst into a crazy suicide attack like that, but ...

Yeah, probably best to leave Trinket behind for this one ...

Speak With Animals! Yay! Awwwwww ... and OF COURSE he still wants to go with her ... he's so sweet ... and yeah, he's still tough, of course he is ... all right, let the ancient bear come ...

Thank fuck Sam isn't ACTUALLY drinking out of that horrific looking thing, that is UNSIGHTLY!!! Travis: "It's like melted plastic mixed with decay!" Sweet fuck that is NIGHTMARE FUEL ... Sam: "I mean it's been cleaned, like, A LOT, but it hasn't worked!"

"Battlestar season 3"? Okay ... yeah, so they're all just going STRAIGHT INTO that shit, then ... so a retroactive Heroes' Feast is probably a good idea, then ... yeah ...

Wow ... yeah ... D&D maths ... always fun ...

Oh ... so Cerkonos LIKES Lieve'tel? Okay, then ... so no matter what, Robbie's just DETERMINED to romance Liam's characters, clearly ... XD

Fucking hell ... Grog has around THREE HUNDRED HIT POINTS right now? O.O Sweet fuck ...

Archivist Seth Domade? Okay, then ... yeah, this just got interesting ... I mean OF COURSE he's curious about what's happening with the Nein AND the Hells ... oh yeah, our boy is FLUSTERED right now ... Essek, be cool right now, boy ...

Holy shit ... HOW LONG did it take them to realise that this is Essek in disguise? DEAR FUCKING GODS, people! LOL You do know you spent TWO WHOLE SESSIONS traveling with this guy ...

Verin Thelyss? Oh, interesting ... are they related? THEY ARE?!!! So this is Essek's BROTHER? Intriguing ...

Oh, so he's a little bit of a geek? I like that. That's quite adorable. And I think he might be a little sweet on Vex ...

Ah, poetry... yeah ... LOL

Allura informs us the Nein and the Hells are now IN POSITION on Ruidus ... okay, then ... time to make a move, then ...

Matt: "The symbol of war has been triggered." Oh my ...

Fuck ... PLEASE let Percy and Vex get back alive to their kids.

The hoof boots? And somehow Travis rolls a 24 on his performance for their construction ... holy shit ... apparently they're completely PERFECT ... O.O

More Percy and Keyleth cuteness ... :3

Power Word Fortify ... and Death Ward? Lieve'tel bestows MASSIVE magical gifts upon Kiki and Vex ... and then she just goes RIGHT AHEAD and makes the first move on Cerkonos. Awwwwwww ... and he HAS to make it awkward. But she likes it ... XD

I fucking knew it ... OF COURSE they're riding with Xandis. LOL ... I love this ridiculous tiefling so much, I swear ...

So ... a fuckton of arcane portals, then ... this is it ...

"Majestic as fuck" ... Grog's awesome cape ... in his own words, of course ... XD

Awwwwwww ... Bertrand, we miss you still, you fantastic old bugger ...

So ... through into clustered shadow ... all right, what have you got in store for us, Matthew? O.O

Oh okay, that's a dramatic mess we're flying into ... and that's it, the first shots come in ... yup, that's it, it's all kicking off ...

Strength saves all round? Okay, first real rolls of the night! Roll good, guys! 33? Holy fuck, Grog ... he's stupid strong even now ...

Three crooked winged creatures coming out of the sky? Oh boy ... FUCK Vex is still a thoroughly EVIL shot ... Hunter's Mark that shit, girl! Yeah!

So Scanlan and Grog are the most prominent targets? SHIT ... I mean OF COURSE Grog succeeds his strength check, but Scanlan is now being CARRIED OFF by one of these things! Shit! O.O

Percy: "Drop the horse!" And yeah, No Mercy's still just as lethal a shot as the Missus ... BOOM!!! And the centaur is free once more ...

Path To the Grave? Fuck, Lieve'tel is a bit SCARY in combat ...

Kiki tries a Whirlwind attack on them ... yup, that proves impressively effective ... fuck, that thing just got PUMMELLED ... right into Grog's reach ... he swings his Bloodaxe TWICE ... and just SHREDS the beastie ...Oh yeah, that's TOTALLY the HDYWTDT ... fucking hell, he just EVISCERATES this thing ...

Oh yeah! Silver Dragon for the WIN!!! Nice one ...

Keyleth tries to take a look over the side and just gets BLINDED by flying dust ... yup, that's a bout right ...

Ah, so ... still a way to go, yet ...

Shit! DODGE!!! QUICK!!!

Well that was close ... and sounds like it could've been SERIOUSLY HAIRY if it had hit ... and then we see it hit another ship ... and it just NEUTRALISED the brumestone? FUCK!!! That's SO FUCKING BAD!!! Yeah, don't let ANY of THAT shit hit you, guys!

Air Ashari FLY!!! Oh, and Cerkonos can do that too? Oh, he can do ALL the elelments like Kiki? Sweet! So he's going too, then ... go help! Quick! Save who you can!

Yes! Save Verin Thelyss! Quick!

Oh nice! That's some SEXY FLYING there, Vex!

Okay, looks like this might be working ... and SOMEHOW they BARELY miss taking another hit ... get them off as fast as you can, guys!

Inspire THEM, not HIM! Pronouns, Scanlan! And somehow Sam makes a really embarrassing (and very classic Shorthalt piece of work) strangely inspiring for Xandis ...

Yeah, that's some pretty sweet flying, you spectacular tiefling!

Wow ... that was just a BEAUTIFUL save ... yeah, they got 'em off safe, just in time ... meanwhile the faling ship goes down SPECTACULARLY ...

Time to get ready to JUMP? All right, then ... GO!!!

Blessing of the Dawnfather? Oh, that's pretty sexy too ... I didn't even know Vex had that one in her! O.O

Thank fuck for Featherfall ...

Grog and Pike are getting SHOT AT?!!! Fuck ... O.O ... Word of Radiance? Yeah, that's a nice save, Lieve'tel! JUST too late, but still ... so Pike manages to dodge, but Grog takes a full-on HIT ... crap ... but he's Raging, so it's not TOO BAD ... but that's STILL a whole lot of Force damage even so ... and that's one ROUGH FUCKING LANDING ...

Oh, so it's already ALL GOING OFF in this place? Okay then ...

Cerkonos shows he's as much of a badass as the others as he comes down ... and yeah, that poor bastard is impaled and INCINERATED ... meanwhile our boy achieves a perfect superhero landing ...

Wait ... so the gunner is LITERALLY PONDERING THEIR ORB?!!! XD

No Mercy Percy strikes again!

Touchdown, then! They're on the ground and taking in what's going on now ... oh yeah, this is just pure fucking CHAOS right now ... the batle is just full-on KICKING OFF ... and THIS is where Matt chooses to call a break ...

Holy shit ... that is a MASSIVE Battlemap this time round ... yeah, the appreciative gasps and roars as they wander mback in to take it in are duly ENTHUSIASTIC, and rightly so ...

Setting up where everybody is ... and it's all just pure CHAOS right now, clearly ...

Oh, so now Keyleth's a FIRE elemental? Matt scrambles to acquire ANOTHER figure to represent her ...

So it's time, then. ROLL INITIATIVE!!!

Vex kicks it all off, then ... she casts a 4th Level Hail of Thorns, with her Blazing Bowstring and Sharpshooter ... wow ... that's a monster combination if ever I heard one ... so she goes for a Reiloran Juggernaut! Nice ... fuck, that's a lot of damage, plus it definitely rings his bell for him ... meanwhile all the regular guys surrounding him are just ANNIHILATED ... ouch ... so she takes ANOTHER shot ... oh yeah, she is SUPREMELY fucking this guy up ...

Scanlan clops up on his coconuts and Inspires Cerkonos ... with a bit of Chappell Roan? Nice ... :3 ... Reverse Gravity? Oh, that's DEVIOUS ... Out of the whole group only ONE manages to make a save so now there's a whole bunch of guys just FLOATING UP INTO THE SKY!!! Holy shit ...

Wow, those Kryn fighters are just BADASS, they're cutting folk TFU ...

Percy steps over the wall and encounters his first Reiloran ... oh, that's nice, so his walking stick turned into a brutal little MURDER BATON ... he shakes off the attempt to fry his brains with psychic energy and slashes them up ... it's hurt, but it's TOUGH, looks like this one's going to take some work ... oh, but his sword has A GUN IN IT ... Matt: "Go go gadget Pepperbox!" POW!!! Now the Reiloran is BURNING!!!

Grog charges up to the guy who's trying to hang on ... and manages to get HIMSELF caught in the spell? Shit! Somehow he manages to catch hold of himself, at least ... and takes a few big hacks at the other guy ... Great Weapon Master? Oh boy, here we go ... oh yeah, Grog kills the guy ON THE SPOT and then he just pinwheels up into the air spraying his insides all over as he goes! Ye gods! O.O

Keyleth jumps from one platform to the next, starts laying about with her fists, the burning Reiloran instantly incinerating under her pummelling onslaught! Oof ... then she runs off in the direction they need to go, setting another attacker on fire as they try to strike at her while she goes.

Lieve'tel summons a Planar Ally, specifically a massive white three-headed raven (literally Holy fuck!), then Tolls the Dead, aiming for the Juggernaut ... and that's a wrap on the big guy! HIs head essentially EXPLODES inside his helmet ... fucking hell ... so she just goes riding off on her big birdy, going to hover over Keyleth.

Oh great ... Scanlan is now being SWARMED by Slithers ... O.O ... oh yeah, they're just GNAWING on him right now! Fuck ... thankfully only TWO of them do any actual damage, but still ...

Crap ... what's this? Oh, I get it, that mut be one of those hive-mind psychic mothers ...

Meanwhile those poor bastards spinning in the air just CONTINUE to spin in the air ... XD ... crap ... now Keyleth is as well, unfortunately ...

Pike chucks a 5th Level Guiding Bolt at the Ball ... okay, this is it, then ... 22 points of damage? Hmmmm ... it CRACKS, but it's still definitely very INTACT ... nuts ...

Cerkonos screams: "Scanman! NOOOOOOO!!!" leaps into the air and casts Wall of Fire around Scanlan, torching the Slithers attacking him. Three of them are reduced to cinders, and the rest are at least SEVERELY charred ... then he just BAMFS next to Pike ...

Vex takes a shot at the Ball, using Sharpshooter ... NAT20!!! Yes! Crit that bitch! Oh, that's a whole lot more cracks in it now ... but she's just got herself directly MARKED by whatever that force is overlooking it ... but her SECOND shot SHATTERS the Ball on the spot! YESSSSSSS!!!

Scanlan casts Thunderwave as 2nd Level, trying to bash some of the Slithers off ... he turns two of them into jelly on the spot! Meanwhile he drops his spell ... and everybody up in the air too! Grog manages to avoid getting crushed, while all but two of them just go SPLAT when they hit the ground around him. Meanwhile Scanlan disengages, trying to use Cutting Words to get rid of the remaining Slither still grappling him ... and breaks free! Phew ...

Fucking hell ... what fresh hell is THIS?!!! O.O ... a battle vidulch? Oh my gods that is fucking TERRIFYING!!! Oh shit, TWO OF 'EM?!!! Shit! They start laying about and IMMEDIATELY start doing major damage to friends and foes alike ...

Shit ... in a single turn, the attacking vidulch manages to COMPLETELY DESTROY Keyleth's Fire Elemental form ... O.O

Percy opens fire with Animus on some of the Vanguard, only for his gun to blow up in his hands! Ouch ... repairing iton the spot, he starts firing again, wiping out one in the process.

Grog uses his Boots (not BOOBS) of Feral Leaping to mount the nearst vidulch, then starts swinging blows into it with his axe ... oh yeah, he's just CHOPPING CHUNKS out of this thing! It's trying to shake him off but he's definitely cutting his way into it already.

Oh no, bad ideas are never REALLY bad ideas ... Keyleth attempts to Dominate the vidulch in front of her? Holy fuck ... O.O ... that's the question, IS IT a beast or is it a MONSTER? She can't tell ... so she tries a Firestorm instead! Oh boy ... whoa, SEVEN D10 of Fire damage? Holy shit ... 48 Fire damage? Wow ... it hurts the vidulch, as well as incinerating a bunch of Reilora and Vanguard. Unfortunately she also takes out three Kryn soldiers with friendly fire ... oof ... then she transforms into an Earth Elemental and burrows down under the ground, coming up on the other side of the vidulch.

DEVILS? Seriously? Is this good or bad? Wait ... who's this ... holy fuck is that OPAL?!!! Fucking hell, my girl you're terrifying but also pretty awesome right now! She doesn't do any real damage, but she's still laying into the vidulch with some serious SAVAGERY!!!

Lieve'tel holds onto a Bless, waiting for her opportunity, aiming for Opal, Keyleth and herself.

Okay, now Grog is having a scrap with the Juggenaut on the back of the vidulch ... unbelievable! Oh hell, this big boy is definitely laying into him HARD right now ... and it has a Telekinetic Combo? Shit ... Grog hangs on, but it definitely batters him about ... so he just starts giving right back just as hard as he's taken ...

Pike chucks a Guiding Bolt at the vidulch at 4th Level, blasting it hard with a good chunk of Radiant damage. Staying put, she's immediately swarmed by a bunch of nasties, but she just batters them all off ...

Cerkonos, impressed by Scanlan's actions, turns himself into a Fire Elemental and funnels himself INTO THE ARMOUR of the nearer vidulch, setting it on fire FROM THE INSIDE!!! Holy shit!

Vex coasts over and starts peppering Pike's attacker with her arrows, wiping him out on the spot. Then she turns round and starts taking potshots at the vidulch, taking some of its legs out from under it.

Scanlan rushes up to the aid of the nearest angel, talling them: "I'm here to help!" before VOMITING Lightning at the nearer vidulch! O.O

Brass wings? Oh sweet! Here they come! Beautiful! Devossa strafes the devil and the vidulch with their fire, but since they're both immune to fire it does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ... hmmmmm ... somewhat inticlimactic ...

Grog takes a big swing at the Juggernaut and just ANNIHILATES the fucker on the spot! Then he leaps off and goes for the Reiloran instead, using Great Weapon Master ... oh yeah, here we go ... yeah, he just SPLITS THE GUY IN HALF!!! He yanks out the spine from the bisected corpse as he walks away ...

Oh, okay ... yeah, due to retrospective thinking, Grog also manages to finish off the vidulch just before he jumps off ... okay, yeah, there we go, then! Meanwhile Scanlan congratulates CERKONOS for doing it? Hmmmm ...

Keyleth Calls Lightning at 4th Level, landing it right into the remaining vidulch ... oooh, dice math ... 27 points of Lightning damage ... yeah, it's looking pretty messy now ...

Okay, looks like everybody's just trying to kill this thing all together ... meanwhile more Vanguard are arriving! Shit ...

Oh, so Pike just got rescued by a demon? That must be weird for her ... especially when it growls: "Go, small god!" at her ...

Yeah, Opal just becomes TERRIFYING as she jumps on the vidulch, webs it up and then CARVES IT TO PIECES ... O.O ... holy shit ...

Time to book, then? Okay ... they all bundle together and rush into the centre of the fortress, heading for the Malleus Key ... and that's it for the night! Yeah, that's a good place to stop. I was getting pretty exhaunsted, that was a HEAVY SESSION ... but also a very satisfying one ...

[dotshaft]

Dalinar forfeits the Contest of Champions due to it not happening for some reason(he's in a different dimension by accident)

This broken Oath kills the Stormfather which basically destroys the Highstorm causing a Weeping(global sad rain shower) that never ends. No Stormlight anywhere and SOMEBODY has to Ascend to Honor to fix the whole Planet's magic based ecosystem. The like main point of each of the main characters entire arcs has been basically them learning how they can fix this problem. It all seems pretty well foreshadowed.

Stormlight spoilers 👇

A dead Stormfather still bound to Dalinar is exactly the situation Shallan and Testament are in and Adolin has been working on his bond with another Deadeye

The Honorspren have a fuckload of perfect gemstones filled with Stormlight in a stockpile for Radiants to use during the Endless Weeping.

Szeth's mission is Shinovar is going to end up bringing out the other Honorblade holders there. Since the Honorblades were made directly from Honor's body while he was still alive I think they will be necessary for somebody's Ascension. The three they DON'T have are Nale's, Ishar's, and Taln's, with the location of Taln's Honorblade being an active mystery since Book 2. With both Nale and Ishar playing a big role in the war now I think gathering all 10 Honorblades might actually happen. 9 of them stabbed into the ground is how the whole series started so that'd be a pretty cool bookend for it to end with all 10 especially with the bilateral symmetry that's basically a Theme at this point.

I was thinking that Navani would be able to make basically a Dragon Radar that points to Honorblades but she's also in another dimension by accident.

If the Theory about the identity of Shallan's mother is true there's a few questions about where she would be now and where her Honorblade would actually be. So if it IS true AND the Honorblades need to be gathered for the Ascension then that'll be a pretty cool quest for Shallan to do, but she's ALSO in another dimension by accident.

Whatever needs to be done I think they're gonna need Ishar to help with it so that's Kaladin's whole thing... Kaladin would NOT take an Endless Weeping very well.... but that's kinda the biggest thing that makes me think that's what happens.

Still no clue what's gonna go down with El and Vyre. No clue what might go down with Rysn and the Dawnshard or her pet talking bug monster. No clue what might happen with those Fused and the Listeners and their pet giant bug monsters. I wonder if Lift's red chicken she got from the dead Feruchemist last book will be important.

Dalinar almost certainly swears his Fourth Ideal and gets his plate right before getting fucking GOT by the deal he made and becoming the BBEG for the whole galaxy.

Kaladin certainly swears the Fifth Ideal and we get to find out what the hell that even does. I'm kinda thinking it will be a twist that the Fifth Ideal is one Syl will say to Kaladin and she'll get fully pulled into the physical realm like those Spren Ishar was doing experiments on.

Something weird will probably happen to Shallan because her past, even though we saw all her backstory in book 2, is still so obfuscated. There's a line in book 1 where she comes awake from getting poisoned and the prose says something about skin peeling and flesh burning down to the bone, but that being just a memory. A memory??? That fits with things the Heralds remember??? When it's already kind of a big pointing sign that her mother was a Herald??