#that whole thing is so complicated to me i dont rlly understand it. it's different scholarship for each posting right?? it's not all same

[lov-eable]

TELL ME  ֗ ˖ ࣪ ᩠ ༉‧₊˚ ✿ #05

━━ a filmmaker decides to follow and document the lives of the worst and best students at your school for a month, unfortunately, those students are you and chishiya, the most annoying guy on earth.

masterlist ◌*ꕤ

word count ✦ 1013

A/N: pls dont hate chishiya quite yet....... he and reader are both complicated and flawed characters!!!!! i dont feel rlly happy about this chapter but i guess its the buildup for the more interesting ones lol hope u like it!!!! likes and reblogs are always nice <3

06/11/18 9:25

You felt anxious. You had to return the book before the school day ended, and you had to face the consequences of it. Although it wasn’t entirely your fault, you surely would be punished. There was no case in insisting you did not tear the page, Chishiya wouldn’t take the blame ever, and even if he did, no one would believe that narrative, because he was the loved one, the best student and you were one step away from being a high school drop-out. 

You still could not understand how basically everyone, teachers and students so appreciated him. Sometimes you imagined how everyone at this stupid school would circle around him and sing an ode to him as if he were a triumphant gladiator who had just returned from the war and had returned honour to his people. You guessed your classmates had previously decided in a secret meeting they would ignore any of his sarcastic remarks or just straight-up mean comments, and instead of hating him, they would kiss the ground he walks on. The truth was, this side of him, annoying without a break, was for you and only you. We can’t deny he wasn’t the most friendly man ever but the meanest thing he had ever done to others, apart from you, was ignore their invites to hang out after school. But you were not aware of this, of course.

However, your mind was busy enough to be thinking about Chishiya. You were tired and scared. The whole weekend you visited different bookstores with Kuina around the town to find the exact same copy of the book you had borrowed from the library, but it was a lost case, no one had it. “I think we should stop searching, we already visited all the libraries and bookstores around here! Twice!”, “Kuina, I’m going to die, I’m serious” you pouted. You were sulking the whole way home, you tried your best to not put an end to your quest, but Kuina was right, your legs were sore from all the walking and you felt as if you were about to pass out from the heat. Only you would walk through the whole city at the very start of summer, and only Kuina would help you in your crazy adventures.

The emotional torment did not stop there as you could not rest when you got home. You didn’t sleep all night, torturing yourself with your thinking. Most people perceived you as someone easy-going who never got stressed or anxious, but it wasn’t true, this messy self now crumbling in bed because of a concern most students would resolve without troubling themselves was your authentic version. But these crises occurred behind the scenes, you had to keep your carefree facet in front of others, it was the sole reason you kept good relationships with almost every one of your classmates, right? 

Kuina and Arisu were the only ones who were able to see through that mask you perfectly crafted to be liked, that’s why they tried to support this time, knowing how much you got worried by matters of this nature, everyone else just caught the aftermath; you sleeping through most morning lessons. For them, it was just your usual lazy worst-ranked student behavior, disinterested in whatever the professor was teaching, but in fact, you were recovering those lost sleep hours. You didn’t even sleep all morning, you attempted to distract yourself by writing some poems, at first, it only distressed you more, tearing apart pages from your notebook and crumpling them into little paper balls. Nevertheless, you concluded a bunch of verses you were pleased by, so now was time for a nap.

You were twenty minutes into your nap, that was what Chishiya could estimate at the moment. He tried not paying attention to you, but he struggled. He did not care that much about you, or at least he insisted on that, but he was really intrigued by you. It was the first time you seemed to be concerned so noticeably about something in front of someone. He never fell for that free-spirited reckless role of yours, he saw you. He saw you when you were four years old, and then fourteen and now you were about to be eighteen, it was difficult for him  to not notice. Again, he never cared about you that much, but his sight got drawn by you sleeping surrounded by many paper balls.

As much effort as he put into ‘not caring’ about you, he took one of the plastic bags he kept into his backpack for trash-collecting purposes and started gathering the paper to throw it into the bag. ‘Who am I?’ ‘What am I doing?’ ‘Why am I doing this?’ were some of the questions which crossed his mind, he had two excuses, first of all, no one, not even you, the most annoying yet interesting person in the whole room, deserved to nap around litter and second, maybe he felt guilty and bad for you. There was one piece of paper which was not wrinkled, but he assumed you got way too stressed to even bothered by it.

He started ripping the paper in pieces and, since you were a light sleeper, that tiny noise woke you up. You glanced at him bewildered but also angry, especially angry. As one would expect, you guessed Chishiya did it on purpose, he probably had read your poem, laughed at you in his head and proceeded to tear it apart. “Why are you always ripping apart everything I care about? Do you hate me that much?” Chishiya got the urge to deny the statement with the head, but was paralyzed, he did not even stop to read it. He fucked up even more. You noticed how everyone turned to you, witnessing the dispute between you and Chishiya. No one would have bat an eye in any other occasion but it seemed more serious and less playful than most times. You left the classroom by the back door, feeling burdened by all the negative attention.

tags: @surshica @enslique @httpsimmy @elernity @eshtravagent @fishisahappydog @kreishin @vernon-dursley @mhyunri @thenightsflower @madjz @saiewithakatana @yeosangiehwa @xiaoishwrites @seloise @justhere105 @naegisimp @mxbrahms @chlooooop @woodandwaxwings @huachengsbestie01 

[pinkseas]

'parasocial bestie' im on my knees cry laughing like a pathetic peasant at the feet of a king blessing me id put an indicator everytime i jump here but its not like my ask specifically with 748274 word paragraphs is easy to miss in your inbox anyway ANYWAY WORDS WOW YOUR WORDS;;,;...... i could just pick out every term and phrase your described like a scientist thinking wow so that's what it is THATS EXACTLY HOW IT GOES about this xiaolumi dynamic i get crazy on that intrudes my thouhgt processes 98% of the time

qpr xiaolumi gets me haywire my brain neurons tangling 24/7 i get them to a dynamic so far out of romance to a 'love' that is all about understanding and care that i dont even MIND they're friends until the end, that idt "xiaolumi" is the better word than just xiao and lumine. it just fits, so much about them rlly fits in entirety both history and present its not about protection its about Reaching Out, holding hands being a go-to physical closeness just for warmth and security they're right There; the shoulder bumps, their backs on each other this 'quiet love' the 'not vulnerable in one of them but vulnerable to each other' THEY'RE STRONG FOR OTHERS BUT WEAK TO THEMSELVES. 'they're able to share such a unique loneliness, the fact that in not being understood by anyone around them they're able to understand each other' BANGS MY HEAD ON THE TABLE FALLS OF MY CHAIR it's really just!! this description is still commonly used but it's such a different case with them that it hits HARD (or maybe i'm just biased idc nonetheless eyes xlmi only)

what i Think would differ between my xlmi and yours tho is that i characterize xiao a little differently so it's like another typa exploration of lumine understanding him (and vice versa) altogether; he's a little no brained a little emotionless to his own self worth it's hard to feel things personally, likely an effect of his traumatic past changing him to lose autonomy and gaining it back. his emotions are a little muted and subdued that contrasts lumine's overflow of it but they both do have good control of them in general, so that's pree much the only large barrier they have that makes it a tad harder for them to understand in general. a strong xiao is good, protective and vigilant, but ppl miss the super essential fact he canonly states he trusts the traveler to stand their ground. that's where you see lumine is just as strong, people of the same wavelength and strength it just clicks easily (a bit complicated in mine, but their closeness is just the same,...) a fav personal hc detail i go crazy on brainrotting sometimes is there's the touch of desperation they had on each other and you put that very well in your fics, and like i said not too exaggerated- nor extreme that its realistic and human, very in-line with canon even.

and boy just OH BOY to merely focus their development on the simple, little things just like you described and to me it's truly like walking out to a quiet expanse after a heavy rain where everything in nature has a somber serenity of dewdrops and petrichor. it's a sign that's how xiao and lumine unconsciously heal each other through that understanding, the clashes they'd face and the warmth that closes in a resolute embrace.

[breaks down completely i dont got more words but my brain is xlmi speeding]

"like a pathetic peasant at the feet of a king blessing me" as though you are not the one who crowned me in the first place.......... we stand on equal ground my friend (deep ground) (the trenches) (fighting for our fucking lives hand in hand)

xiao and lumine. you are SO FUCKING REAL FOR THIS xiaolumi is cute i will continue to use it out of laziness as one does but man. at their core at their hearts. xiao and lumine, lumine and xiao. it feels like the difference between two halves coming together to make a whole and two matching wholes. separate but together.

"its not about protection its about Reaching Out" YES YES YES YES ohhh my god you could not be more real for this. the holding hands the closeness the warmth the security the little reminders of hey, im here, its okay, we're okay. STRONG FOR OTHERS BUT WEAK TO THEMSELVES........ explodes into a million pieces. and ur right i feel like a lot of dynamics sort of share that concept but with xiaolumi its Different bc they are my most specialist little guys ever its just. ITS DIFFERETN !!!!!!!!!!! <- like trust me

also that is so fucking fascinating like idk different interpretations nbd but i feel like Part Of That is us interpreting the way he'd react/respond to that trauma differently? which i fucking LOVE, because there's no right response to something like that anything is possible its just a matter of taking a look at where he is in the present and building something behind it that could have played a part in making him who he is. and there's so much we see of him but so much we dont, too, that leaves SO much wiggle room for characterization and i just. gmnmfnmgnmmfn. and i LOVE that so much, the sort of push and pull with his being muted where lumines overflow, that's SUCH a good dynamic dear LORD. the little steps to reach out to and understand one another the things they could learn and teach one another ohhhhh my god.

"there's the touch of desperation they had on each other" no bc this is SO IMPORTANT TO ME if i didnt include this just a little bit i think i would have exploded. and it cant be too much but it cant be too little, either, so im SO glad that it felt realistic to you !!!!

walking outside after heavy rain... the Stillness the Peace the fresh air that follows. taking a deep breath and feeling alive. god. GOD. i have done this so many times i LOVE the rain and i LOVE going on walks after it and especially after like the semi-heavier storms we get here and i know the exact feeling you mean and i cannot stress enough how wonderful it is to me that youd describe it that way. god. AND "how xiao and lumine unconsciously heal each other through that understanding" THISSSSSSS makes me insane i am biting through phone books i am punching the wall they are everything to me. Everything.

[distort-opia]

do you ever think that joker's character would be hated less if harley was never created? dont get me wrong i love her, its just that her inclusion in the first place was for joker to beat the gay allegations and the abuse isnt rlly fun imo. whining about this is kinda pointless since we cant change the past but i just wanted to hear how you feel about this topic

Mm. This is a bit complicated. I know that it's a popular belief, the idea Harley Quinn was created to make Joker appear less queer, but that's not entirely rooted in fact. Not saying this motivation didn't play a role at all, but if you read up on Harley's origins, some writers involved were against her becoming a regular character on BTAS because it would humanize Joker too much to have a love interest; that was a significant concern. When introducing her to main comic continuity, Dini specifically had Joker be as dark and murderous towards her from the start, and this persisted in most comics featuring them afterwards.

It's not Harley's sheer existence that contributed to the hatred for Joker's character in recent times, in my opinion. It's three combined factors: her redemption arc for the past decade or so, Joker's abusiveness towards her, and the fact she was given a female love interest in Poison Ivy (which turned her into explicit queer representation). The draw of Harlivy as a ship and of Harley being depicted as an abused woman standing up for herself was understandably massive, for a big segment of fandom. And unfortunately, many were eager to forget about Harley's past crimes and choices because of this; after all, it's not difficult to just blame Joker for all the "evil" parts of Harley in order to justify her actions. Joker undoubtedly had a big influence, but it really takes away from her character if her agency is denied entirely (I do hate this recent cross-fandom tendency to take conflicted darker characters and sanitize them). And there is something to be said about Joker being written as a one-dimensional abusive asshole, in order to uplift Harley's character arc and make her triumphs over him more impactful. It is a pity... while I can't say I am a fan of Harley, I find her interesting, and her relationship with Joker has some fascinating aspects to it that get downplayed and ignored in this wave of oversimplification. The main reason she stayed with him was because she thought there was humanity to him, and that she could be the one to bring it out. The tragedy of it, of course, is that she's not wrong-- it's simply that Joker is pretty much incapable of seeing anyone other than Batman as an equal and a fellow human being. Joker does care about her in his own twisted way, but as an extension of himself; a possession, something he created. He also treats her as an extension of himself, which is to say... badly. Because despite how contradictory it might seem at first glance, Joker is suicidal and self-loathing.

Anyway, an analysis of Jarley isn't the point of this :)) To make a long story short, it's true that Harley never being created would've led to none of this happening... but thing is, I do think a female sidekick was inevitable. If they didn't give Joker Harley Quinn, they would've come up with a different character like her eventually, and then who knows where that would've gone. And even if you try to imagine a world with Joker having no one like Harley in his story... the current hatred towards Joker in Tumblr and Twitter circles is quite intertwined with the rise of purity culture and with Joker fatigue (due to DC's overuse of him). Joker as a villain is associated with alpha male toxicity and the whole "we live in a society" mindset, which instantly makes fans on this side of the fence wary; although, even leaving aside the fact Joker has killed countless people in canon, it's more that he shot Barbara Gordon and killed Jason Todd that gets him the biggest amount of hatred. Of course that his abuse towards Harley plays a big part as well, but personally, I don't think it's the main cause. Batman has so many villains, but few of them have harmed Bruce and his Family as personally as Joker has. Seeing as the fandom for the Batfamily is the biggest one, it's not surprising that Joker is disliked within it. (Which is perfectly fine. Issues only arise when fans don't make the distinction between reality and fiction and begin to harass each other over make-pretend non-existent people.)

[sscoutregimentss]

i know we as a collective society believe in gamer! eren supremacy. and yes, this is a good take. however, may i introduce to you: normie/fuckboy/jock eren with gamer/nerd gf. thoughts under the cut (safe for work, pg-13, also slight snk spoilers for season 3 and up!)

see, eren isnt necessarily a fuckboy. in fact, hes very loyal! he doesnt really think that way about any girls or guys except you. but hes popular romantically and had a reputation for sleeping around before he met you (not that theres anything wrong with that but ya know word travels fast across campus). plus, cmon the dude is in a frat, super hot and has a tongue piercing. he cant blame anyone for thinking he is a fuckboy bc he exudes the energy.

you are kind of the complete opposite. you dont really enjoy parties and you keep to yourself. you're a total wreck when it comes to flirting and your kinda oblivious to whenever people like you. you dont have many friends and are a bigger fan of 2d people than 3d.

either way eren finds you so so so cute. he first approached you at one of his frat parties. your roommates convinced you to come after she said that someone (read: connie) had a dance dance revolution mat, but you kinda just stuck around in a corner staring at your cup once you lost them. he looks you up and down-- your outfit was pretty cute, a short plaid orange pleated skirt, dress shirt, orange cardigan and black beret laying neatly upon your head. and your face... he couldn't help himself but try to talk to you. you were really anxious because wahhh scary sports guy you dont know but he was kinda instantly comforting? in a way? and he was freaking pretty. he looked like a final fantasy character--long haired characters were your type. the rest was kind of history.

a lot of people are shocked when they find out your dating bc you two are so different (some people are surprise eren “dates” at all) but no one dares question your relationship when they see how much eren dotes on you. he has so many polaroids of you in his wallet-- from the many arcade dates you bring him on where you decimate him at almost every game, you awkwardly posing in the hentai section of bookstores, or just candids of you being intensely focused on a puzzle in a game. whenever you guys go out to eat and somethings wrong with your meal, he'll send it back (in a polite way, of course, but hes still assertive.) or if you buy like a figurine and its misisng something hes marching up to the cashier stand for you. he always has an arm around your waist or is holding is hand in yours. sometimes you just cling onto his arm and rest your head on it (hes comfy!!!!! and you are always tired) your both pretty clingy, but you get kinda awkward when you two are around people you know so he just kinda subtly holds you as to not make a scene. its nice. hes comfy.

youve got dual monitors, a pc you made yourself, rgb keyboard, the whole nine yards. all your consoles are up to date and you keep a handheld system on you at all times. you spend most your weekends watching anime and movies and tv shows and your shelves are piled high with books and comic books. eren literally does not understand any of it. when you told him you built your pc he goes "you made all those microchippy things? youre soooo smart babe". when you talk about some of your weirder or more complicated animes he nods along but honestly he gets so lost ("so like, lemme get this straight, the kids dad's wife ate his mom?" "yeah but like she was turned into a titan so she didn't realllllly know it was the dads wife, but like she literally walks past this titan shifter so i think she knew." "thats crazy.") and he will never understand the point of otome games when hes literally right there. he actually has a really bad habit of getting jealous of characters you have a crush on but you just find it funny. sometimes he gets an ego boost when they look like him because even if they look like him he is actually real so they can suck it.

hes rlly supportive tho. erens a rlly passionate person and he loves you a lot so he pours a lot of passion into what you do. if you are into esports/fps games hes cheers you on all the time and does all the raging for you ("BABE THAT GUY IS STREAM SNIPING! HES STREAM SNIPING YOU HEY ASSHOLE STOP CHEATING OFF MY GIRLFRIEND" "eren he cant stream snipe me because i dont stream" "oh i thought that just meant cheating"/"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HER?" "eren its okay i can just report him" "NO NO LET ME AT HIM IF HE WANTS TO CALL YOU A BITCH I CAN CALL HIM MUCH WORSE" "um guys im gonna mute my mic for a second if you need me text chat") if youre into cozy games he likes to watch you play and gives you ideas on where to put things. like in minecraft he makes you put a second bed for him even though he doesnt play and he helps you name all your pets. you get a little less intense with cozy games so you sit on his lap and he lets his hair down puts his head on your shoulder and points at where you should place stuff. he still rages though? this is eren jaeger we are talking about. ("aw, she wont move to my island." "WHAT? who does that little ugly squirrel think she is? you think youre too good for MY y/n's island? i'll shave your unibrow off. then we'll see what island will want you" "leave hazel alone! shes cute!"/"dude that hamster guy with the glasses looks like armin" "graham? what? armin doesnt even wear glasses" "no no look at it more" "oh shit youre right") rpgs/otome games are kinda a wild card with how he acts. if its an otome game and the character looks like him he is more into helping you out because it reaffirms to him that you find him good looking but otherwise he is just sulking and calling them annoying ("princess y/n... i know im just a servant, but i want to be with you forever!" "pft. get a load of this guy. clingy much?" "its romantic! youre jealous.")

one of his favorite things to do with you is cuddle and watch anime. usually he lies his face on your thighs or chest while watching and you play with his hair or he holds you in his chest and you play with one of his hands while the other goes behind his head. he grew up on some of the classics like naruto sailor moon one piece pokemon and dbz but he never got super into it until he started dating you. you put him on to soooo many good shows (cartoons, anime, and live action) hes both a crier and he is a get-angrier(?). he gets mad on characters behalfs and you have to pause the show so he can rant about how annoying someone is or he feels so bad for someone so he has to take a minute because hes tearing up. he likes slice of life anime because the friendships <3 theyre so wholesome and they remind him of him armin and mikasa but he also likes shounen because it is entertaining to watch fights. he gets really into them actually. he also has this really bad habit of whenever there is a character with no parents or a dead mom he goes "oh same" or "welcome to the club buddy" under his breath. when theres a cute couple in an anime you both like guys get matching keychains of them unless one of them dies because he thinks its bad luck. his favorite animes are haikyuu, your lie in april and code geass.

you are equally supportive of erens volleyball career. you know all the rules because sports anime and you actually find yourself really liking it in 3d as well (it is lacking in bromance and screaming but you let it slide). you go to all his games and he always texts you before his practices. has a habit of kissing you before games and one day after he kisses you go "gg ez win" as a JOKE but then they like decimate their long time rival marley university and get into nationals (is that a thing for volleyball idk sports) so hes convinced its because you did your "gamer magic". now every time after getting his good luck kiss he interlocks your pinkies and you go "gg ez win" and he goes “yes.” because to this day he doesnt know what it means (he thinks googling it is like breaking the magic)

okay im gonna stop while im ahead BECAUSE I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY I MIGHT JUST GO AHEAD AND WRITE SOME ONESHOTS....

[bombshellsandbluebells]

heyy, love your fics. i'm currently in the process of reading the echo pregnancy fic right now and i adore it so much.

also i know its been a year but im still baffled by the fact that murphy and raven embraced clarke?? instead of having a moment where they spit in her face and start yelling "you bitch" (that callback would have been rlly funny). also i dont understand why earthkru just.. accepted her into their little group. like she causes more problems than solves them? everyone they know including half of spacekru is dead bc of her?? girl's just.. terrible?

omgggg I'm so sorry I meant to reply to this and completely forgot to (story of my life)

Thank you so much!!!! I really enjoyed writing that one!

I mean same lol. It makes absolutely no sense in character. It makes no sense after everything that has happened between Spacekru (/Earthkru) and Clarke - ESPECIALLY without actually spending any time resolving those issues. I mean I doubt there was any resolution that could make me buy that friendship in the end after everything, but an attempt to at least have the characters work through their past hurts and work towards forgiving each other (cough cough forgiving Clarke) would have been appreciated.

The thing with the 100 that you have to accept - and the single factor that I think hurts it the most - is that ultimately the show can not let go of the idea of Clarke as the classic YA hero. Even in a show that insists it's about complicated issues and morals and morally grey characters and a dog-eat-dog world of no heroes, just people making selfish choices to survive, ultimately it still characterizes Clarke as a YA hero is has friends, is loved by everyone, and is always the Hero who did the Right and Necessary thing at the end of the day, EVEN when her actions and the way they affect other characters tell us differently.

The way that Clarke is handled and the very messages and attempted themes of the show are in direct odds with each other.

Like the show can't fathom having a happy ending that doesn't involve Clarke being loved and accepted by the rest of the characters we love. And so we end with them being Buddy Buddy friends, without the baggage we know they have, to achieve that Happy Ending.

But it rings false because it's at odds with literally everything that has happened in the show.

Clarke is not best friends with the other characters at the end of the show. They've hardly been a united group, let alone a friend group/found family, since s2. And that's not even getting into the ways she's directly hurt them, they've all been focused on different priorities, and the fact that they have legitimate grievances with each other.

But. You can't acknowledge all that baggage and messiness if what you're going for in the end is Clarke the hero made it through and is happy with all her friends. So they give us that without even ATTEMPTING to do the legwork to make that believable. And so, unless you buy into the idea that Clarke IS the Hero (which I personally don't), that ending rings INCREDIBLY hollow and fake.

Like. I can't honestly see either Raven or Murphy ever being buddy buddy with her again - and they frankly very rarely were through the whole series, but that's a whole other topic.

[skylilac]

what are some of the reasons you ship linhiana? why do you think it's better than tiana? i'd like to hear your pov since i ship tiana :)

edit: anon oh my god im so sorry you sent me this a few days ago and i typed out my answer but then i saved it in my drafts and forgot abt it 😭 

anyways okay!! uhh just disclaimer: you absolutely don't need to change your mind abt anything, i’m just trying to explain my thoughts (edit: actually now im not sure how coherent this is i hope you can figure it out--)

linh and biana just feel like they’d be such sweet and caring girlfriends? they’re a really wholesome and healthy ship and they’ll love each other and show it every chance they got. they remind me of violets and meadows and braiding each others hair as the sun goes down and they’re like, the definition of cottagecore lesbians ig? they’re just that comfort ship for me, the cute one that isn’t overly-complicated, they’re just two girls who love and care for each other a lot

i normally love to ship things that are filled with heartbreak and misunderstandings and all that angst, but linhiana’s different. they’re both just side characters in the series, without any troubled history together. and although they’re both hurt and complicated and scarred (metaphorically and literally), i think they’d be able to communicate and confide in each other and be a really sweet and healthy couple overall yk?

they’re both often overshadowed and underestimated--both in the fandom and the series itself. biana’s been overlooked her whole life bc she has two older brothers (what a nightmare honestly). with linh and tam, tam’s been given most of the attention and character development and depth (up till recently--now we’re being given the linh short story which i hope will give her the recognition she deserves). anyways, they can both relate and understand each other on that level i think

like.... i was looking at the kotlc wiki page for them (here) and:

just! canon proof of what im saying i think?? biana understands what its like to be underestimated by everyone--including your own siblings. she supports linh and sees the capability in her that most everyone else ignores and just gayasdfkl give me more of them being encouraging girlfriends please <33

um... as for why i think they’re better than tiana.... well honestly, i don’t like tiana much? i totally understand why people ship it--i just.... can’t really explain why i dont? i think they’d have the best friendship, but i can’t see them romantically, while i can see linhiana both as friends and girlfriends. its not rlly smth i can explain i think

tldr: they’re a really sweet and comforting ship to me, and i love how even canonically they’re shown to understand and support each other

uhh yep, i hope this helped at least a little anon!!

[guktwt]

love yourself tour experience! ♡  japan and singapore

hi! so i’ve been wanting to make a post like this for a while on twitter but i hate twitter rn so here i am. this january i was blessed with the opportunity to attend love yourself in nagoya (japan) and singapore and honestly? it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i wanted to share my experience because really, concerts in japan and everywhere are else are so different, right from ticketing and the show itself. i thought you guys would find it interesting? and also i need to let this out ahhh keeping to myself is not going to do me any good :( anyways, i hope you find this post somewhat entertaining 💞

under the cut because this got really long sorry 

♡ love yourself in nagoya ♡

first of all, tickets. getting concert tickets (and any ticket, really) in japan is tricky. most kpop groups in japan have a fanclub and if you’re a member, you get the benefit of applying for tickets first (like a presale!). did i say apply? yes i did. in japan, ticketing for concerts adopts a lottery system for presale and general sales usually a month later. 

for presale through fc, you’d have to apply for a lottery on a website and wait to find out if you win or not. you need a fc membership (paid), which also needs you to have a japanese phone number and address in order to apply. and you HAVE to pay your presale tickets in japan because you need to pay them in a convenient store. complicated, i know. FC presale tickets usually give the best seats. there’s no gurantee, but that’s usually the case. fortunately for me, i have a cousin residing in japan to help me with the address (you really need it, they’re going to ship you your membership card) and i found someone on twitter to help me make the payment. if you a apply for lottery, there’s no guarantee you’ll win. so you can apply as many times as you want with a maximum of 2 tickets for each shows. i think i used up all of my luck with this one [sobs]. FC presales usually have more than one round lotteries. 

general sales is much simpler. i dont have enough experience to know the details but it’s usually up on japanese ticketing websites and can use credit cards? dont know if foreign ccs are accepted though. 

oh and all tickets for all sections cost the same!!! so doesn’t matter if you get the best view or worst it’s all equal 

/if you have more questions about this don’t hesitate to send me an ask i don’t know much but i’ve read a lot about it/

you can’t know your seat until a week (or a month? idk) before the concert, when it’s time for you to print your tickets at the same convenient store (yes you have to print them and you can only do it once so don’t lose the damn thing!!). my seat was really good!!! i didn’t get floor sadly but my section was right in front of the extended stage so i got a great view. 

i arrived in nagoya a day before the concert (i spent a week in tokyo beforehand) and queued for merch!!! it was winter so it wasn’t hot at all and the japanese really know how to line up. everything is so organized like??? i was so amazed. i spent a good 4 hours queueing before getting my items and even then a lot of the things i wanted were sold out quickly :( 

and then comes the concert day!!!! basically since it was all seating tickets i didn’t have to worry about queueing for entry but i did queue for merch again,,,, from 4 am. let me tell you how devoted people are there when it comes to queueing. some actually stayed from the afternoon? and it was winter. crazy. 

i entered the dome an hour before the show started and the staff were so kind and helpful whenever i asked for help (i couldn’t find my seat). and everyone around is so kind and warm :( i didn’t really interact with a lot of people due to the language barrier but they’re so . polite. 

and moving on to the show!!!!!! japan has strict rules about recording so i couldn’t do any of that [:(] but honestly it just made me enjoy everything better. of course they were amazing on stage and their japanese were so cute :( i still can’t get over nagoya, nekkoya my pure babies!!! 

and uh . taehyung. so damn fine. can’t believe i was part of the first people to see him reveal his blue hair. and i can’t stress this enough but his gaze when he looks at the audience... i felt the love and fondness in his eyes i wanted to CRY. 

and jimin!!! was so clingy towards joon the whole night ugh we love a baby koala. and jungkook :( he introduced himself as kookoo im so fucking sad. the second he said kookoo desu i was ready to give up my firstborn for him. 

hoseok was a fucking machine. he’s so charismatic on stage i can’t handle him. and seokjin was full on crackhead mode :( we stan a whole legend i love love him so much. my mans yoongi was so?? small yet not??? i wanna put him in my pocket. my mans joon was looking like a whole snacc. all legs and dimples.�� 

honestly what struck me the most was how everyone gave seokjin a standing ovation and applause after epiphany???? that was my first time seeing something like that and i just started tearing up because it was so beautiful. people were so respectful they didn’t scream or shout when bangtan were doing their ending ments. the fanchants were absolutely on point!!! whenever bangtan bowed i actually spotted some people in my section bowing in return and i was !!!! oh my god 

but on another note you’d think that japanese fans are quiet during shows but theyre really not. they’re loud as hell too they just know when to shut up and listen and i think that’s beautiful. 

the whole thing passed by really quickly. i felt hollow and empty by the time it ended but i have to say that it was the most relaxing and chill concert experience i’ve ever had. it just feels so different than my previous concerts. the only downside about it is the no recording part (i could’ve been sneaky but staff was right in front of my section) i guess. but without worrying about my phone i got to watch them perform. like actually watch them. it felt euphoric. 

♡ love yourself in singapore ♡

ah. 

so for singapore, i got cat 1 purple 2 tickets at first. but because me and my friend wanted yellow initially, we managed to find someone who wanted to trade with us. 

i arrived at the venue at 6 am because i had to distribute banners and fans for my fan support. here’s a pic of them!!!! 

basically for standing ticket holders we were required to queue by 12:30 pm and fortunately my qn got the indoor holding area so i didn’t stay under the heat for long. we started moving to the venue at around 3 or 4 pm even thought they said it would be 2:30 pm. because my qn was large by the time i got inside all the good spots were already taken :( i ended up at the very back sigh and we had to wait for another 2-3 hours before the show starts. it was hot and everyone was thirsty. some people in the pit wanted to sit down but some also stood up so it was rlly cramped :/ 

everyone was hyped tho even when mvs were played. and then when the lights dimmed and the show finally started was where things got really,,, rowdy. when the first beat of idol played everyone pushed forward??? the amount of times i got squished and elbowed and pushed aside... man it was hectic. if you’re claustrophobic please do NOT go for standing in concerts. 

but that aside of course it was amazing loud and crazy. there were accidents here and there. at one point several people actually fell down but everyone helped everyone up. some people got mad and started yelling and others but that’s understandable. it was hot and cramped of course you’d get cranky. 

funny story i got my period two hours before the show and basically bled through my vagina for 3 hours as i watched 7 fine men go off on stage. 

but anyways. 

me and my friend managed to finesse our way from the back row to the third row because we’re amazing. no we did not push if you were there the pit was always moving so we just. squeezed through i guess. i was so fucking tired but when so what came on i forgot that my pants were like fucking soaked and just jammed the fuck out with everyone. they got really close to my section during this and i cant believe i got to see taejin dance together like clubbing buddies. jin is so goofy!!!!!! 

oh but fuck you guys jimin up close is ethereal. he looks so fucking unreal i couldn’t keep my eyes off of him throughout the whole thing. none of the pictures can ever do his beauty justice. he’s so fucking beautiful and i was starstruck. and he sang promise!!! i fucking couldn’t believe he did it. one word to describe him is definitely godly. 

namjoon was so hyped and loud too :( gosh he’s so adorable. hoseok looked crazy beautiful up close too. his aura.... fucking amazing. YOONGI ALSO MADE THE CUTEST EXPRESSION AFTER JIMIN SANG PROMISE I SQEUALED. gosh i was actually really close despite not getting barricade i feel like crying thinking about it now. 

jungkook went so close to my section during so what i got a good fancam of him that i can’t stop watching :( jimin slipped during dna my poor baby but he just laughed it off :(((( 

they all looked prettier irl tbh. they have such nice skin??? and all that shit about jimin being short... well guess what fuckers he’s all LEGS. man. i think i left that stadium as a jimin stan. 

taehyung’s so hot i wanna die n i want the whole of rapline to spit on me thx.

fun times aside the pit is hell. luckily the staff were responsible and gave us drinks after each set of performances. and everyone kind of just understood each other. whenever someone looked like they were about to faint people asked if they were okay. we helped each other and gave each other drinks. at one point during the show i crouched down because i was exhausted and someone asked if i was okay or if i wanted some candy. 

hellish experiences aside, there’s a mutual understanding between everyone in the pit. like, we’re in this together. i’m sweaty and thirsty and tired but i’m here for one thing and so is everyone else. it’s a good feeling. i mean, yeah, i was drenched in sweat and water but. it’s a good feeling. here are some pics!!!! (i have more videos bu t i cba to tak e screenshots ajsjs sorry)

also met some of my twitter mutuals <3 love u guys 

perhaps this is it for my experience post? yeah you can see how different nagoya and singapore were. it was exciting to be able to experience them both. now back to my post concert depression and withdrawal :(

[teruthecreator]

okay so i kno this shit is Old News at this point but ep 19 got me so damn shaken up i dont kno how to react or process anything abt it???? and i just??? am withering away???? (this got too long so im putting it under a readmore lmao continue on if u care) 

like, ned is getting to become such a wonderfully complex character which i appreciate SO MUCH bc i feel like merle took so long to become sort of branched out (haha pun) but it feels to me like clint understands where he wants this character to go so much more than he did merle. and i just think thats...so good. and the fact that he still rolls like crap?? beautiful. 

aubrey has me dead on the floor constantly and idk how to process any of my aubrey-related emotions bc it feels so much like travis is weaving little bits of himself into her in this fantastic way that makes her even more believable, even as she shoots fire from her hands. like, the theatre kid vibes. the crazy childhood aspirations. the fear of hurting someone. the sort of bravado she puts on for people that then fades away when shes alone/with someone she trusts. like, ive been fawning over aubrey since day one but like i love her so much now. 

and duck...DUCK. GOD. EVERYTHING INVOLVING DUCK IS SO COMPLICATED AND HAS ME FEELING SO MUCH. like i feel like justin is rlly involving himself in this character far more than he did taako. like, we all been knew that justin knows how to make a goddamn character. but duck is just so...different, in the best ways possible. hes very much realistic bc this idea of avoiding fate and trying to live without people’s expectations is so mimetic that it makes his character all the more real. and u can see the way hes changing through interactions with others. like, in the intro he’s a lot more stoic and to-the-books. but through these arcs we see duck open up. we see him become a little more vulnerable and a little more fun. we see him take risks and get hurt because of them. we see him start to accept his place in his own fate, and in turn w minerva. speaking of, 

MINERVA. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD? OH MY GOD. minerva is my favorite fucking character in the entire goddamn show gRIFFIN GIVE HER BACK. SHES MINE NOW. UVE LOST UR MINERVA PRIVILEGES. like these past few eps have broadened her character out so much and, like, i trust griffin w the story bc we’ve seen how this boy handles character arcs. but also, i am so terrified for minerva and i rlly wish he didnt just do that to her. like her whole final spiel proves she is a flawed individual but it just felt to me like griffin was utilizing her as training wheels for duck and now that shes gone duck is supposed to be Big Boy Destiny by himself and i hate that. i hate that! neither of these characters is done developing! give minerva her time! i love her! i have a sneaking suspicion she will be back in a few arcs but im also terrified shes gone for good and thAT IS NOT GOOD FOR ME BC SHE IS MY WIFE. 

also can we all agree that the break-in part fucked us all up? can we all just agree that griffin should not be able to just reference a character once in the flashback bit in the beginning and then hit us over the head w “hey now this character has some very important things and will be back soon!”? like, nah. nah chief! this aint it! pls stop! and that bit w thacker and the mysterious voice? NAH CHIEF. NAH, THAT AINT IT. THAT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME, I WONT EVEN LIE. NAH, CHIEF. STOP IT. CUT THAT SHIT OUT. UR SCARING ME GRIFFIN. 

okay ive rambled too long so imma just leave yall w this: i forgot aubrey still had her sunglasses on until the end of the ep. 

[gayspock]

talk about doctor who, i must

hot take, but season 10 of doctor who could have been... literally been one of the best seasons yet? had it not been for the three-parter in the middle of it, the episodes were all pretty solid - the monk trilogy, ofc, could have been good but the whole thing was all over the place (weird... seems like having a different writer per episode DOES that) and it dragged on too long. otherwise theres really cool episodes in there. plus, although the mystery box shtick was kinda just in there and wasn’t something i was that big of a fan of (for quite  a few reasons) it wasnt the usual moffat series-arc bullshit of him trying to make it overly complicated, and “clever” (read: making an arse of himself). thankfully, most of that bullshit had kind of come to a close by this point, so he just had one season left to do and that gave him the necessary constraints so he wouldnt fuck it all up by going ham.

 moreover season 10 literally had one of the best companions in years?? like perhaps thats entirely personal preference, but bill was SUCH a fresh air after fucking clara had been dragged out for almost 3 years and her character hit the ground running after literally one scene (which sounds basic, but again after clara). nardole was also a generally nice addition, and something fresh & different fro the show,  and whilst i think they could have utilised missy better than they did (especially bc this was michelle gomez’s last hurrah, and shes INCREDIBLE)  they had some rlly nice scenes with her i think. 

but people trashed it for such. stupid fucking things. like bill saying she was gay  too much or people whine about the doctor saying “historys a whitewash” when thats just...? the truth???!?!!  or they harped on it for stupid things, like- people whined about the episode SMILE because bill said the word “emoji” and idiots thought “HaHA yEah EMoJi EpisodE hoW bAd” when it was nothing like that?? it wasn’t capitalising off of emojis or anything of the sort. instead... the literal whole thing.... was about technology and the rise of intelligent systems and how AI, despite how much we try to humanise it, will never be human  and will never be capable of understanding our morality and how expecting it to is dangerous??? 

and there were some genuinely just. nice episodes man. likee theres problems here and theres problems there but like- even when that was the CASE, i think the new vibe that this season brought made even THOSE feel better? which reminds me SO much of Russel’s era - where, yes, episodes like The Idiot’s Lantern weren’t good but I think they were still way more enjoyable than a bad Moffat episode if that makes any sense??????

and yes like. like it wasnt PERFECT? like, theres parts i would change- and im actually,... dont @ me but im considering doing a fic for the first time in years reworking it all because. im of the pERSONAL BELIEF that heather should have been there for at least the first quarter  and that missy’s storyline felt very tackled on and only was there to serve as the obligatory mystery box (which it didnt have to be, and i think the time we could have spent with her in earlier episodes would have been far more valuable than for moffat to do one last clever “gotcha” moment - that literally EVERYONE predicted anyway) and i think it could have also, in general, just been integrated better??? like- LIKE-

THE FINALE  is what throws this into such a stark light in my opinion - second only to the fact they didnt know where to put missys reasoning for being inside the vault, and shoved it into extremis(i think? some part of the monk trilogy) where it really didnt work.  but anyways with the finale... i think the problem with it was, was there was all that buildup and then the story focussed too much on the cybermen that the whole two masters gimmick just kind of went underutilised. and i would never want to sacrifice the story we got with the cybermen (world enough of time is in my top few episodes)  but i think that whole shtick shoul have been restructured differently. like it felt like they deserved their own separate finale - which, god, i would love it if season 10 had gone onto season 11 which is WILD bc i am happier than anyone else to ger rid of moffat but this season was just so LOVELY you know?????????

(and also as a side note: i know ppl at the time complained about s10 being too political, but like... the fact ppl complain about s11 being MORE political somehow is confounding. i stand by the fact that a lot of s11 was lukewarm in terms of making any  stands for anything, if that makes sense. however im looking through s10′s epi list and honestly like.............. no offence but i felt like this run was way more political than s11 but we all know why ppl say the latter is huh.)