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chernabogs · 10 months ago

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I can see an entire bouquet matching Malleus 😭 Calla lily, Ivy, Red Salvia, NATSURIUM and White carnation with pecks of Daffodil and Fern

Don't feel obligated to use all of them! Chose whichever you find most suitable! I just could stop with one alone, the more prompts i read the more i had this idea for a story in my head

I think you and I had the same idea cooking LMAOOO I hope I did this well! <3 Thank you for the request!!

Sin Eater

Inc: Malleus, Reader, a sin eater, and one advisor WC: 3.4k Warnings: Heavy discussion of grief and coping with loss Flowers: Calla Lily (something at first sight), Ivy (we’ve always been friends but we were never just friends), Natsurium (I refuse to bury you), Daffodil (a god bows before a mortal), Fern (In a world of magic, the greatest miracle was you... subtly implied) Summary: A quiet conversation in a hall between a prince, a starving idol, and a body.

Their arrival is marked with the sombre chiming of Dragon City’s bells, which is the only reason Malleus knows they’re approaching Black Scale. The window of the bedroom you shared is wide open, letting in both the breeze and the song as he stands so still that one may consider him to be a mere statue on display. He feels equivalent to one; his breath is shallow, his body cold, and his expression far away enough that he hardly registers the carriage approaching.

“Your highness?” A faint voice speaks by his right side. Malleus’ finger twitches at the sound as his emerald gaze slowly slides from the streets below to the advisor who is now anxiously twisting her sleeve. He can hardly remember her name—advisors come and go so often that they’ve become a blur in his mind—but he’s taken to calling her Scops due to the owlish stare that she always seems to wear around him. “The sin eater is here.”

Malleus stares for a moment before he looks back down to the courtyard. The carriage door is open, and a figure is now standing on the stone, speaking with one of the guards. The discussion is brief, ending with the guard walking to the doors and the figure looking upwards at the palace walls. A golden mask conceals their face, capturing the rays of the sun which battle through Briar Valley’s ever-present clouds, and they wear a simple black funeral suit.

“I see that.” He replies curtly, his voice ungiving on how he’s really feeling. “They arrived quite quickly, didn’t they?”

“I suppose they have,” Scops steps a bit closer to the window to look down at the sin eater. “Strange, really. It isn’t like their profession is a competitive market anymore.”

Sin eaters used to be far more prominent in Briar Valley back when it was still Briar Nation, and old traditions were held to a greater esteem. Unfortunately, the changing of times meant the dismantling of old organizations and beliefs, rendering the sin eaters as nothing more than a token piece in a funeral party. Perhaps once they were esteemed in a religious fashion—but not anymore. Now they will sit for anyone, so long as they get their meal.

You had always admired the old traditions, though. He remembers your avid interest in his family’s history, and the many nights you’d waste away in the library, reading tome after tome in delight. You had been the spearhead of a new age for old beliefs—revamping Briar Valley’s tourism through the demonstration of habits long dead—and you had made a difference. That’s why there is a sin eater here today.

Malleus dislikes their presence, however. Them being here means that what he’s going through is not just a simple dream. He exhales through clenched teeth and forces his shoulders to relax as he turns on his heel and nods.

“Regardless, it’s best not to keep guests waiting.”

_____________________________________________________________

The hallowed hall in which you lay is silent, even with the presence of the sin eater looming over your shrouded form. How they managed to move quickly enough that they arrived before Malleus did is something he decides not to question—nor does he question how they knew of the hall to begin with. Their profession is one that draws the most peculiar of magic users into it. Like a bloodhound, they caught your scent and followed it to the room. He’s surprised the guards who have been standing watch over you for a day now permitted them to enter.

Malleus enters alone and waves for the room to be sealed. He notes the hesitation in his guard’s body language before they oblige, stepping away to pull the great wooden doors shut with a resounding boom that stirs a pair of birds residing in the rafters. Their wings flutter in distress as Malleus spares them a passing glance before returning his focus on the figure ahead. The sin eater has turned to look back at him, and he sees upon closer inspection that the mask they wear lacks a mouth. They incline their head in greeting before speaking in a surprisingly clear tone considering their facial obstruction.

“Your grace. Forgive me for the intrusion before your arrival; I merely wished to prepare in advance.” Their voice is soft and low as they touch a hand to the place above their heart. Malleus hardly reacts to their words as he brushes past them to where you lay, body enshrouded in a white sheet with a torc affixed upon your neck. His fingers brush along its form; forged of mystium and gifted to you as a token by him. It was the closest he could get to a marriage declaration in the eyes of the Senate.

“It’s hardly my place to prevent a sin eater from completing their role.” He replies languidly as his fingers skim off of the torc to rest on your chest. Stiff, still, and cold against his fingers. “I just wish you had not come to begin with.”

He doesn’t wish to have you buried quite yet, but he knows he’s already pushing the limit of how long he can keep you. He kneels by the platform that holds your form as his fingers brush along the shroud that hides you. If he could, he would drag you off of this macabre display and back into the rooms you shared for so many decades together, to wrap you in his arms and pretend this isn’t happening.

But that was foul. Utterly, utterly foul. Your body would putrefy and decay while he clung to a false hope of resurrection.

No, the sin eater is here now. He just doesn’t want you out of sight quite yet.

“Many do not welcome me, but I have never left without gratitude.” The sin eater replies softly. Like a god before a mortal, Malleus’ ethereal features are painted into a stony expression, his gaze still distant. He hardly feels a part of this world right now as he hums quietly in turn.

“Perhaps.” He muses as his fingers toy with the shroud before he turns to look at the sin eater. Like his own face, their mask is a stony expression, their eyes concealed from his seeking gaze. If they were to not move and speak then they could easily be dismissed as one of the many statues adorning the hall. “How shall we proceed?”

“Do you feel ready to proceed?” They posit as they gesture to your form.

Malleus rises back to his feet but doesn’t remove his hand from your body. The pungent scent of flowers—used to disguise the sweetness of decay—wafts up with the abruptness of his motion. “The opportunity to refuse has long passed. I am aware that there is a feast to be had—that, they regaled me of this back when they were still alive.”

You had been enamoured by the concept of Briar Valley funerary rites throughout your time in life. He remembers thinking it to be grim when you would speak of them, and rather anxiety-inducing when you began to plan for your own. He always knew that your status as a human meant that you would join the stars long before he did—he had simply not wanted to think about it, though. In the end, your efforts to establish your own postmortem care had saved him a great deal of distress these past few days.

Your ability to think far ahead had been one of the many aspects he had loved about you.

“Indeed, and I am delighted to see one is set for me.” The sin eater drifts off of the steps of the platform towards the far side of the room, where a table lay with an array of foods on it. Wine, dates, meats, and a variety of other luxuries decorate pristine plates and spotless cutlery. He had spared no expenses in the lavishness of your memoriam. “Sometimes I have served people who are still cooking the final meal by the time I arrive. But then again, I would expect a prince to have ample amounts of resources available to get things done.”

“I give nothing but the finest when it comes to them.” Malleus retorts sharply as he goes to sit in the chair on the other side of the table. Before he can properly settle, the sin eater raises a hand and shakes their head.

“Turn the chair around if you please. You are not meant to see my face when I eat—that honour is for the deceased, and the deceased alone.”

Malleus pauses, his hand resting on the back of the chair before he obliges and twists it around to face the wall. He then sits down and crosses his legs patiently. Despite the fact that he knows the sin eater to be unarmed, he still feels a prickle of paranoia creep up his spine. Old habits die hard when one has been hunted for so many years.

Eventually he hears the sound of the sin eater sitting down in their respective seat, followed by something heavy hitting the table. The sin eater clears their throat, and the sound is far clearer now than before. Their mask has been removed—which means the rite has officially begun. Malleus inhales and readies himself for what he recalls the next few steps to be.

“Tell me about them. Call them to the table where we feast.” There’s a brief pause then before a fork scrapes against porcelain plates. Malleus’ eyes flutter shut as he gives a low sigh.

“Mira calirh.” The affectionate term flows from his tongue easily as he touches upon memories long passed. How can he summarize you in a simple conversation? You had been a person of many complexities—of devotion, of will, of love as boundless as the sea. To boil all that you were down into a mere few lines felt sacrilegious in his heart.

“Tell me of your first.” The sin eater prompts, and so he does.

“I met them outside of their dorm. I thought the place was abandoned, but suddenly they were there before me, sleep-dazed and curious. I remember thinking how calm they were when facing me directly—only to find out they hadn’t a single clue about who I was.” Malleus’ lips curl into a faint grin as he pictures the moment so clearly. He can see you in your youth, eyes glassy with sleep and hair slightly dishevelled. You had not registered in his mind as someone of importance quite yet.

Oh, how such a thing would change.

“Tell me more.” The sin eater urges. He can hear the wine glass lifting and being set back down on the table. Malleus’ hands clasp tight as he feels his fingers begin to grow numb. In his peripheral vision, he thinks he sees movement from the pedestal. He resists the impulse to look its way as he considers his next words.

“It made me feel… alive. For a moment. They would accompany me, speak with me. It was shortly after my overblot that I began to consider them as a friend—although I suspect we never were just that. It was two summers later that I began to consider them something more.”

Malleus pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts. He remembers that summer—it had been warmer than usual in the Valley, and you had come to visit for a week. He recalls the smell of sunscreen and the sight of you with your hat on your head as you sat in a field of eternal green. The land was lush and abundant with life, but it had been you that had drawn his gaze the strongest.

The sin eater pushes a plate away before grabbing another. It drags across the wooden table with a bitter screech. “Is that so?”

“Quite. They stayed with me for a week, and I wished every night that the next day would never come, only so that I could hold onto them for just a bit longer. I kissed their cheek before they departed through the mirror back to NRC—I wanted to kiss their lips, but I panicked and missed.” He can’t help but laugh at that. His palms had been sweating and his mind had been in a panic when he clumsily pressed his lips to your cheek in a kiss of farewell. “Foolish I was. Fortunately, it didn’t turn them away from me. The next time we met, they made sure my aim was true.”

“Young love has a habit of sending our hearts aflutter, no?” The sin eater muses as more scraping sounds out. “Tell me when you loved them.”

When? Malleus’ brow furrows as he considers the question. When did he not, really?

“Every day. Every hour. Every minute. I think once they became mine there was not a moment I did not love them, even when we had our disagreements, or the obligations of my role drew me abroad. I loved them in the day, I loved them in the night. And in the sparse moments between, I loved them even more.” Malleus feels his jaw clench slightly. “We could not be married, and so I made sure they knew my devotion.”

“You could not marry because they were not fae. I remember that being a point of contention in the papers.”

The sin eater must be a fae themself, then, if they can recall the tabloids from that time so easily while looking as young as they appeared. Malleus bristles at their comment.

“Yes, that was a point of great contention, and one I had to swallow despite working to change the laws. Even my grandmother agreed that such outdated beliefs had no business in and amongst our courtiers.”

He had fought viciously against nobility for the opportunity to keep you by his side. Eventually it had ended in a standoff, with the courtiers begrudgingly agreeing to permit you to live in Black Scale, so long as you never officially became his consort. Your body hasn’t even been cold for a day, and he’s already heard rumours from Scops that the Senate is hunting for a suitable replacement.

The knowledge tastes like bitter fruit on his tongue.

He thinks he sees the flutter of white fabric moving at the pedestal again. His brow furrows as he rationalizes it away as a trick of the odd lighting in the hall. Still, the cold breeze that follows makes him shift in his seat uncomfortably.

“Tell me how you loved them.” The sin eater diverts his thoughts and the conversation once more as something heavy scrapes across the table. It may be the plate of quail he saw—or the pig's head. “What did you do to always let them know?”

“Everything. Anything they wanted I would give to them. If they had asked me to move the mountains we rest on, I would do so. If they asked me to pluck the sun from the sky and fasten it into a brooch for them, I would make sure it was held by the finest of metals. If they wished for the rains to fall and the earth to turn green, then I would drag the clouds from across the world to where they stood.” Malleus shivers again as he feels an ache in his chest. It’s been there for days now. “Magic bends to my whims, but I bent to theirs.”

“But you couldn’t give them time.” There’s a licking sound and a low hum of satisfaction from the sin eater. “Time will eat everyone in the end—much like how I feast on their memories now. You could give them every precious gem and flower in the world, but you could not give them a second more than what they were meant to have.”

“If I could have, then I would.” He snarls back, his head turning slightly to glare at the blurred image of the sin eater. “I would have stolen the seconds from anything and everything and given it to them instead. The gods know they would have benefited from it. They had plans, ideas, to improve this nation and now? Now they’re already beginning to decay.”

“As things do.” The sin eater tosses a bone onto a plate as Malleus looks back to the wall. He feels something cold brush against him again, and then the scraping of a chair to his right. His shoulders tense at the sound and he wonders if the sin eater has changed places.

Until they speak.

“How very kind of you to finally join us.”

The comment is simple and one that draws confusion in Malleus until it finally clicks in place and his entire body plunges into freezing water. The world spins to a stop as he hears a whispering voice by his ear, its words indiscernible. Malleus’ eyes widen and dilate as any words he had to say stutter to a stop from his lips, drawn shut by a cold touch brushing up his arm—much like how his touch had brushed along yours moments ago.

“One last bite, then.” The sin eater interjects once more as they push another plate away. “Tell me how you will keep them alive. The body may be rotting, but the soul does still linger. Within this hall, within this palace, within the memories stored in your mind. How will you honour that?”

The words become clearer now. Your voice is soft as your breath brushes against the skin behind his ear, making him shiver as a small, painful sound escapes him. The scent of you lingers just beneath that of the roses your body was bathed in before being wrapped for your cremation. He can feel the brush of the shroud against him as phantom fingers touch his back.

He wants to turn to see you as he once knew—but something tells him that doing so will merely send you away faster.

“Their legacy.” He offers slowly, eyes fluttering shut again as he loses himself in your touch. “Their memory carries on through years upon generations of work. They brought life back to Briar Valley’s beliefs. They reshaped this old, rotting home—reshaped me—into something better. I may have portraits of them, and statues, and items that they loved dear stored in my rooms—but I think the only thing they would wish for me to do is continue the work they had started.”

A sensation floods him then like that brought on by a lover’s kiss. It curls around his wounded heart and floods itself through his veins, warming his body in a way that it hasn’t been able to for days. Another pained sound leaves him, but it is not drawn out because of any agony.

Then, as quickly as it arrived, the sensations are all gone. Your scent disappears, your touch disappears, and Malleus Draconia is left once more to sit in a stiff wooden chair in a large, desolate hall, with a body and a sin eater as his company. He wants to grasp for you and hold you in place like he did so dearly with your body—but the voice screams at him again that this is not the way it plays out.

The sin eater sets the cutlery down before drawing their mask over their face. They push the chair back to stand, and only when they’re on their feet again does Malleus turn to them. He can feel wetness on his cheeks as he stares at their slender, frail form. He had managed to keep himself from crying so far—but now it’s become a battle he can no longer wage.

“What a delectable meal.” The sin eater sighs as they brush down their suit before stepping away from the table. They pause as they face the prince before bending at the waist in a low bow. The black pits that represent their eyes do not stray from his face as they do so. “They rest—as you should, too. I know you have at least another day of the wake to endure, so try to recover as much energy as you can. They would not want you to suffer on their behalf.”

Malleus doesn’t reply as his gaze drifts to your shrouded form on the pedestal. His love, his partner, his calirh. When the sin eater is already halfway to the door, he clears his throat, causing them to pause and look his way. Malleus stares at their masked face with an expression of neutrality once more.

“... thank you.” He offers softly. The sin eater tilts their head, bows, and steps out of the silent hall.

#malleus draconia #malleus x reader #twst malleus #twst #twst fanfiction #twst x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #OKAY got those out of the way #anyway sin eaters... sexy concept #sad they went out of style #probably bc it costs too much to buy food /j #kinda went off the rails w this im so sorry if it isnt what u envisioned b ;;#but YEAH nice.#nice.

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joicecubes · 6 months ago

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someone said their favorite version of vashwood is actually when they’re best friends and i could not agree more. the charm of a lot of ships to me, and this is also why i love satosugu so much, is that they’re friends first and lovers second. vashwood’s friendship and faith in each other is so deeply intertwined with their romantic feelings that their bond is one that can’t quite be described with either word. “friends” doesn’t quite cut it but really, neither does “lovers,” at least fully. regardless of what they are to each other, they’re each other’s people. wolfwood is vash’s person, vash is wolfwood’s person, that’s all there is to it.

like i’m being so fr when i say that i could see vashwood having some sort of complicated queerplatonic bond. giving each other noisy smooches on the cheek and never needing to quantify the feelings behind the gesture. holding hands, linking arms, being all over each other. deep conversations where nothing is left unsaid. “i love you,” and they both know exactly what they mean. they are so intrinsically linked emotionally that nobody else quite understands what they are to each other but them. you could call it romantic, sure. you could call them friends who have no concept of boundaries. but what they have, especially in canon trimax in my opinion, is something so much more than either of them even have the words to express.

#this post went way off the rails #idk i just think every interpretation of their relationship is correct thank you very much #they love each other too deeply to quantify #trigun #trimax #trigun maximum #vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #vash #wolfwood #satosugu #brief mention but im tagging them anyway

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kabutoden · 8 months ago

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FUCK THE KARKAT VANTAS PLUSH THEY CUT ME OFF FOR FUCKING REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

I WAS GOING TO MAKE A KARKAT VANTAS PLUSH AND SELL IT TO THE PEOPLE!! I WAS GOING TO DO THAT!!! I HAD A MARKETABLE PLUSHIE DESIGN AND EVERYTHING!!!! DO YOU SEE THIS FUCKER??? DO YOU SEE HIM??? DO YOU FUCKING SEE HIM?

I SAID IT TO ALL MY FREINDS!! TO MY FAMILY!! 'gonna make a marketable plushie out of this dog hes sellable as fuck' FUCK!!!! THEY FUCKING GOT TO IT BEFORE ME AND THEIR DESIGN ISNT EVEN GOOD!!! WHY IS THE HAIR LIKE THAT ITS FUCKING makeship THEY CAN MAKE SOME PRETTY QUALITY WORK!! ITS GOING TO COST 30 DOLLARS YOU DIDNT FUCKING NEED TO skIMP ON THE HAIR!!!!! PROMISE!!! WHAT IS THIS A FUCKING FNAF PLUSH??? ARE YOU JOKING??? WHO DID YOU COMMISSION TO MAKE THIS PLUSH DEISNGNNNNN WHY IS THE HAIR FLATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I WAS GOING TO DO THAT!!! IT WAS HALF THE REASON I MADE THIS STINKIN COMIC AND NOW I HAVE 60 MORE PAGES I WANT TO FINISH NOOOOO FUCKKKKKKKKKK NOW I HAVE OFFICIAL COMPETITIONNN WHYYYY

its fine. im fine im. FIIIIIINEEEEEEEE. its on me for not working on aphids... f in the fucking chat (this post is not very serious)

#genuinely was going to try and do some kind of makeship plush of my karkat design #also did not think the makeship plush was real. i mean. its kind of bad #like i want to get it but also it's bad. you feel??? you fucking feel? hes my favorite little guy but there has been way better plushies #made than this #a lot of worse ones two but fuckit #dont take this seriously at all please #im just whining #i have been talking about turning aphids karkat into a plush for months before like the whole life went off the rails thing and i stopped #updating aphids for a while #BUT I WILL FINISH IT #tbh when its done id like to try and do a plush still but we'll fucking see LOL if theres an audience for it #definetly a bummer homestuck official got there before me but i dont like their plush design. like its just woof. rough #its a 30 dollar plush you can afford hair and arms. promise

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dutchs-paisley-vest · 26 days ago

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Been thinking about Hosea a lot as I write this analysis on Dutch and Micah.

Maybe I’ll eventually whip something up about him, but for now I’m left with thoughts about knowing that not only is Hosea just as guilty as Dutch when it comes to how their boys were brought up (and continued to be treated through adulthood and ultimately up to their deaths), but also the way the two irreparably damaged John and Arthur’s entire lives beyond even their own comprehension. FURTHERMORE, they set forth a viscous cycle of familial violence and neglect that maintained momentum into the next generation. (See: John and Jack.)

The way Hosea’s action, but more importantly his inaction had in part led to… well, [gestures vaguely to RDR1 + RDR2].

Hosea might have been gentler than Dutch on the surface, but he saw it all, and at times both implicitly and explicitly encouraged it through the meticulous timing of his decisions to remain a “silent watcher.”

Yes, refusal to mitigate the violence makes him complicit, but the matter of the fact is… Hosea can’t even feign partial innocence as a third-party bystander because of how calculated he is in nature.

Additionally, there is no “third party.” Dutch and Hosea are a single unit. They occupy the same space even as two separate individuals in John and Arthur’s lives.

The deliberate nature of Hosea’s inaction puts him in the same position as the “perpetrator” because he isn’t just a watcher, he corroborates directly with Dutch and agrees with what he is doing on principle. He reenforces it in perhaps more subtle ways, but that doesn’t make him any less responsible for the outcome.

The only difference between the two is that while they’re dealing different cards, they are playing the exact same game.

#I’ve got some horrible little headcanons rattling around tbh #Dutch and Hosea have different methods and demeanours but truly are partners in crime not only in the literal sense but also are #one another's accomplice in how they raised/treat John and Arthur.#I think that Hosea gets let off the hook a little too easy and I really enjoy thinking about the implications of his behaviour on the boys #just as much as I enjoy analyzing that of Dutch.#Also??? The way that Arthur seemed to die not realizing this adds layers to it in my head. John had all that time to mull it over and think #after all that had happened with the gang throughout his life and I'm CERTAIN he did a LOT of thinking about when exactly Dutch's #true colours started to shine through over the years... so I'd say its safe to assume that he did a lot of thinking about the pair of them.#I want to know if he is capable of thinking fondly about Hosea in spite of this because he has been dead for a long time #Or does he hold a grudge against him even post-mortem? John at least got to have a conversation with Dutch and see exactly what he's become #I wonder to what extent that perfect image he had of Dutch being tainted caused him to see things clearer than #Arthur was ever given the chance?#Arthur died not knowing but I think John might have the tendency to ruminate on it in the years that followed.#I wonder what conclusions he came to about his life up until that moment while sitting alone in the aftermath.#Was he afraid? Did he even want to unpack all that? To potentially ruin every good thing he'd ever had just because Dutch went off the rail #in the end? If so... what would he have left if it turned out that nothing was ever the way it seemed?#red dead redemption 2 #the curious couple and their unruly son #dutch van der linde #hosea matthews #arthur morgan #john marston #red dead meta #paisley.txt

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waywardrpf · 27 days ago

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youtube

ryan being thirsty about shane for nearly 7 minutes: a shyan crack edit

#shyan #shane x ryan #skeptic believer #otp: we took an oath #work husbands #shyanedit #I think I'm actually proud of this #if you like it please comment here or yt so I'll know to make more #sorry this didn't go up sooner but I kept thinking of things to add #it went a little off the rails but I think in a good way #may it bring you some joy!#thank you to my beautiful moots who peer reviewed this and gave me the confidence to post it #myedits #myposts

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tricoufamily · 5 months ago

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i feel like i've made this exact sim 4000000 times

#no way......he's the son of a mafia boss........groundbreaking......#i was trying to make that pyromaniac a toxic love interest idk it was meant to be this old gruff motorcycle guy #(which i have also done 4000000 times)#and it just went off the rails bc i'm so bad at making sims lately #he's cute though. no idea what to do w him though i'm not feeling him for this universe he needs another i think. maybe.#bye bye #maybe he just needs more work who knows #ts4 #ts4 cas #the sims 4

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realtapiocafan · 23 days ago

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still can't get over how insanely pretty they are

i will be Thinking on these two specific photos for a Long Time... ja'marr looking slightly surprised at whatever obj is showing them on his phone... ceedee looking at ja'marr so fondly while resting his chin on his hand... then ja'marr laughing and grinning as hard as he can - oh you can sense the Joy through the screen, hear that contagious hahaha ...

and i will literally never shut up about ceedee's loose bun, it looks so fucking good wtf... ooh ceedee has two (2!) piercings... all of them having intricate hand tattoos... ja'marr wearing like... five (wow) rings... lmao wait is ceedee charging his phone midgame?

also the Narrative of flying halfway across the world to fucking Paris, just to sit courtside at an NBA game with your friends (instead of just meeting up in your home state like normal folks do).... 😭😭😭

#ja'marr grow out your hair PLEASE I BEG #(i'm sorry ja'marr will always be pretty but i'm just not a buzzcut girl sorryyy)#it doesn't have to be this long but like. i would DIE if ja'marr had that hair styling UGHH #obj being the older exasperated friend watching ceedee and ja'marr flirt and laugh and look at each other through the corner of their eyes #and also shaking his head at all the ✨sparkles✨ and the fucking fur coat (young people these day amirite)#once again i will speak my truth: ceedee and ja'marr should go back to their hotel after the game and 👉👈#one night stand typa thing you know. nothing serious. what happens in paris stays in paris 🙂↕️🙂↕️#just a bit of fun with your friend from the same state that you happened to meet with in the city of lights #(i do suspect that it was actually an accident given ja'marr's insta stories which i shall post soon)#like obv this isn't the sheer Insanity of the joe'marr date (ja'marr has kept his arms to himself as many have noted)#but! listen! they just deserve to fuck a little!#1) as a treat. for the way their seasons went off the rails and into the pits of Hell #and 2) it would be SO tragic for all this Pretty to go to waste #like LOOK at them. seriously!#i really never thought so much Pretty could exist in one picture holy cow...#these pictures have me in a CHOKEHOLD #link is connected to most recent pictures by david dow so you may have to scroll #ja'marr chase #ceedee lamb #odell beckham jr

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lionfission · 2 years ago

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Tennis Anne and her victims opponents

#amphibia #amphibia fanart #sasha waybright #marcy wu #anne boonchuy #my art #these started out as gesture studies and then went WAY off the rails #if I ever draw another tennis racket again in my life it'll be too soon

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magentagalaxies · 2 months ago

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Kids in the Archive: Episode 10

welcome back to kids in the archive! to celebrate my college graduation + KITA's 10th installment + finally honor the request i received from @oliviaskithworld multiple months ago (thank you for your patience!) today i'm going to be showcasing the classic s1e3 sketch "Citizen Kane"

even if there are other sketches that i would choose as my personal favorite, i respect "citizen kane" so much as a feat of comedic timing. the premise and dialogue are funny enough, but what puts them over the top is the perfect rhythm kevin and dave establish - fast-paced dialogue that's occasionally repetitive in its text but each repetition leads to escalation in the performance.

Citizen Kane: June 3rd 1989

I actually have two copies of the script for Citizen Kane: both dated 06/03/89, and nearly identical, to each other and to the version of the sketch that aired. There really aren't many differences to point out: some sentences are shorter or longer for the purpose of timing, and there is one specific line missing from the "white" pages that's present in the "pink" pages

i assume the version i have may not be a first draft - this was likely a scene performed at the rivoli for years before making it to the screen. or perhaps this scene was mostly created via improv, so the first time on paper was less an act of creation and more documenting what already existed. the only "big" changes are removing a section of brief physical comedy before picking up the newspaper (which was not being held by another customer).

honestly, as much as i wish i could've honored this request in a timely manner, the wait has allowed this episode to be so much better. this could have been it. i would have had to stretch these tiny differences into 3 bullet points because i just couldn't show you how the sketch evolved. except, as i write this on december 21st 2024, now i can. but we have to push a bit further...

Citizen Kane: ~2002

the kids in the hall tour-film "tour of duty" was unavailable to stream for most of this year before finally being reuploaded by a fan in november. i've previously put out a full essay with general thoughts on tour of duty, but let's examine the show's version of citizen kane.

tour of duty's "citizen kane" barely changes, especially compared to some of the other sketches in this show. sure, the words don't always line up exactly and the rhythm is a bit slower (a product of enunciating for a large theater vs recording a sketch for television), but most changes are physical. in the original sketch, a fake-arm was made for dave foley for the purposes of stabbing his hand. in this one, a prop-knife was used for the effect, freeing up both hands for motioning. most notably, this version ends with dave falling out of his chair and flipping 360 degrees before landing on the floor.

immediately following the sketch is a transitional scene with bruce and mark, where they essentially replicate the "citizen kane" bit of forgetting a name and refusing to admit you're wrong, only this time they're trying to remember the name of the sketch they just watched. it's cute.

Citizen Kane: November 25th 2024

so that's all well and good, but still not a lot of differences to parse through. what would it take for them to take citizen kane in a completely different direction?

well, what if 22 years later the kids in the hall reunited to put on a show in support of paul bellini's medical expenses, but dave foley wasn't able to attend due to pneumonia and the other kids barely had time to rehearse?

a high-quality version of the full show will be available in the new year, but recently i found a fan's uploads of a few iconic sketches from the november 2024 show, including the perfect finale to my citizen kane post, because oh boy did they go off-script. for starters, the original "citizen kane" as uploaded onto youtube is 4 minutes and 16 seconds. the "tour of duty" version (not counting bruce and mark's tag) is just under 6 minutes long. the november 2024 version is NEARLY TEN MINUTES LONG

and uniquely i am actually in a position to explain how these changes happened: scott was chosen to take over dave's part in the sketch the day of the show. they added mark walking on as "constable bobby" as a way to acknowledge dave's absence (and i was actually riffing with mark, kevin, and scott when they decided the character's name. in rehearsal, mark improvised a bit about his character going undercover as a teenager). but scott responding to kevin's "was it citizen kane?" with "yes"? bruce walking on as another officer? kevin kissing scott's forehead when scott apologized for forgetting his line? that was all truly improvised, and i was standing backstage watching it happen.

prior to the show, citizen kane was one of the sketches scott was the most nervous about since it's actually quite difficult to memorize: so much of the comedy relies on repetition and timing. i've probably watched the sketch more times in the past year than he has and even i wouldn't get it word-for-word. but once you're out there onstage, you can't beat yourself up over forgetting a line. you make that part of the gag, and suddenly the sketch becomes citizen kane on top of citizen kane: a sketch about someone forgetting something and ignoring their friend's corrections becomes about scott forgetting his lines and ignoring kevin's corrections.

there's no way the kids in the hall could've replicated everything about citizen kane on the evening of november 25th 2024: the sketch was at least 35 years old, it was being performed with minimal sets and costumes in a 1500-seat theater, and the person whose comedic voice it most represented wasn't around. but in my opinion, citizen kane 2.0 reflects exactly what a live version of a pre-existing kids in the hall sketch should be: using the well-known framework as a basis for improv while still being grounded to the important beats. this attitude carried over into the night's other sketches, even ones which didn't feature dave at all like "salty ham." it gives fans new and old something new to appreciate, and allows the KITH to focus on making each other laugh. after scott got off the stage, he wasn't upset for flubbing citizen kane. he was smiling ear-to-ear, whispering to me "i forgot how fun this was". i would take this over "tour of duty" any day

or maybe i'm just saying that because i now own 2024 citizen kane's prop-knife

oh, and don't think i've forgotten the one line that changed between my two scripts, both dated 06/03/89.

"that's a hayley mills vehicle, that's not even close"

and because of scott's role in the 2024 show, i now know that's the one line HE contributed, leading me to believe the "white" pages were just kevin and dave's writing, and the "pink" pages were after the input of the other KITH on the same day.

god, i love how things become full-circle.

...

PREVIOUS KIDS IN THE ARCHIVE EPISODES:

Episode 1 - armada finale ("do we make it?") Episode 2 - fran & gordon: the vacation Episode 3 - comfortable Episode 4 - cathy & kathi: is he? Episode 5 - danny husk: kidnapped! Episode 6 - trappers Episode 7 - sizzlers & the bank Episode 8 - darcy & francesca Episode 9 - show within a show

thanks for reading!

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thecursedcreator · 10 months ago

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omg is that ultrakill

#fnf #friday night funkin #fnf silly billy #fnf yourself #fnf mod #hit single real #hit single mod #my art #//i went way off the rails for coloring this but i like it tho #//can he be happy and just play some video games. please #//also i've never played ultrakill (yet) i dont know if its better on controller. i kinda just wanted to draw him holding one??? lol

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be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie · 1 year ago

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Sorry but i will NEVER belive that in the secret mated au Spider gets kidnapped by the RDA.

For me when Lo'ak calls Jake telling him what and who they found Neteyam doesn't wait a single moment.

Lo'ak: "Me, Spider, K-"

Neteyam: "Lo'ak i swear that if Spider gets hurt in any single and possible way, if only an hair is being pull out of him. I will beat the crap out of you"

(I like to think Neteyam is protective of Spider, I will die on this road)

So then Neteyam says to his parents he knows a shortcut, and they practically have to beg him to go slower because their ikrans are almost giving in from fatigue.

Neteyam growls at them, and then say a low apology remebering that those are his parents.

They arrive, he jumps off his ikran, and he founds the others in no time, his parents behind him.

Then bla bla bla fight and bla bla bla

Neteyam during the fight grabs Spider and Tuk and he runs with them were they put the ikrans.

"Tuk you ok?" He asks first and Tuk who is shaken nods and she hugs him tightly.

"Spider are you ok?" Neteyam asks and Spider nods before hugging him tightly too.

"I was so scared i thought- i don't even wanna thought what i thought" Neteyam says

"Is alright dude, I'm okay" Spider reasume him.

"Oh mate, my dear mate" Neteyam says

That how the family finds out, them returning to the others and hearing Neteyam say 'mate' to Spider.

Neteyam getting kidnapped with Spider because there is no way he leaves his mate behind.

I'm so sorry, I have many things to say about this.

FIRST OF ALL, killing myself at Spider calling Neteyam "dude" only for Neteyam to respond with "my dear mate." Like, the audacity. Neteyam's not even worried anymore he's simply like, doubling down on nicknames to combat DUDE. His family find out because he was pissed about being called dude. Now I simply have to headcanon that Spider is calling Neteyam the most platonic, dudebro names possible while Neteyam tries to call him sappier and grosser pet names.

Spider: Hey man, what's up?

Neteyam: Seriously? Hey gorgeous, how are you, BELOVED?

Spider: I'm doing great, thanks, my guy.

Neteyam: Great to hear, sweetness.

Spider: How about you...

Neteyam: Don't say it.

Spider: ...bro.

Neteyam: OH GOD.

Secondly, I still am of the hardcore nocorro mindset where Spider is Neteyam's place to be vulnerable and voice all of his fears and inadequacies. I don't vibe super hard with the idea of any of Spider's relationships being the na'vi character protecting him all the time, I don't think he would accept that. He can handle himself and he would hate being babied. Plus, the Sully's especially are so important to him because they treat him like an equal. So I guess I'm fighting you on this road?

That being said, I do find the idea of Neteyam hiding the fact that he's trying to protect Spider from him, so he's just secretly threatening Lo'ak all the time, whispered fights behind Spider's back or as soon as he leaves, like "that is my mate now not just your dumbass idiot best friend, stop trying to get him killed along with you." And Lo'ak's just threatening to tell Spider about it all the time.

Neteyam: don't bring Spider to that.

Lo'ak: oOH, I'M TELLING HIM YOU SAID THAT.

Neteym: WAIT-

Finally, I can see Spider getting kidnapped while they are secretly mated, just because Neteyam trusts his parents. The drama would be this might be the incident to break that unfailing trust. They are kids, and despite growing up in a battle, their parents are legends. I think it would be a big deal for Neteyam to have them not bring his mate back, even unintentionally. They're supposed to be the perfect people he's living up to, what the fuck is he doing if they can fail? Mental crisis.

Also Tuk on the back of the ikran as Spider and Neteyam reunite:

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