#that wasn't very peace and equality of you Emma

[witches-and-windchimes]

You'd think a religious group famous for their thoroughness with their minutes would actually take the time to read them every so often

[diamondwerewolf]

Quick Chat about Lysandre

Or really, a long winded chat about my coming to understand him.

I've decided to buy and play XY in anticipation of Legends ZA arriving sometime next year. My initial reaction to the Team Flare Boss, was 'what is this idiot talking about. i'm going to strangle him.' I still am going to strangle him, but at least now I do get where he's coming from.

Also, keep in mind I played pokemon X, not Y, so I live in the universe where Lysandre's goal isn't to cull the population.

Before I get into Lysandre as a character, I have to discuss Pokemon XY in the general way it pinches out information, and dialogue for the player to grasp the plot. I'm very late to the party, since I have played this years after it came out, but I'm positive I'm not alone in saying the game is awkward.

Pokemon XY, feels like it had a plot too involved for the format it was delivered in. It's, in my humble opinion, a clunky transitional game. From the traditional format of main generation games, and into the more robust pokemon games of the future. I'm also aware that the development was rushed, which adds to the disconnect I felt between mechanics, characters, and plot. That being said, I still enjoyed it! [ And I'm happy we're going to get a chance to revisit it on a grander scale]. Talking again about the awkwardness of the game, I think I didn't understand Lysandre's issue, because there wasn't enough dialogue or supporting context for me to really grasp what he was talking about. I made sure to talk to everyone I could, every manner of key character and NPC. But I couldn't sense the desperation he was feeling in the slightest.

You play the game as a child [which annoys me now as an adult but I digress lol] , so everyone you interact with talks to you like one. I've always considered the world of Pokemon somewhat utopian...but that's what it is, somewhat utopian. I think it feels that way, simply because you roleplay as a kid in an era of peace. The world is beautiful, the towns are jolly, there are a few ruffians here and there, some people are at a disadvantage [ like Emma] , but what is there to worry about? Everything right now is just fine. Why are you trying to ruin it?

I decided to look into some of the supplemental items for Pokemon XY, and was met with this in the Pokemon Evolutions shorts.

This scene...was all it took for things to finally click.

A room full of stuffy executives, huh? They're his own board, but I'm sure he's sat down at many tables over the years with equally stuffy suited people.

Running in the background of this make believe world, are things that resemble more of reality. I was immediately reminded, that often times, the fate of millions of people rest in the hands of a few. Lysandre is a well known philanthropist with a genuine love for the world he lives in. People and pokemon. I'm going to make the assumption, when Lysandre talks about those who 'take' being filth, he's not just talking about a couple of subway ruffians snatching pokeballs out of a tourist's purse. I assume, he's talking about other powerful people. Probably companies and government.

As his bloodline would dictate, Lysandre is a modern day king, who has the high vantage point of being able to see destruction on the horizon. Chances are, he's met the kind of wealthy, powerful people who 'take' on a grand scale. Something else to note, is that Lysandre's company has created something capable of eavesdropping on millions of people. He probably has even more access to information that the public, and certainly not a child, would have. I'm in a way, happy that I'm playing the game now as an adult, so that I can process all these implications.

AZ, made his choice in the middle of war. The conflict was all immediate, and plain to see. Something was taken from him that was too great to bear.

I wonder...what did Lysandre see specifically, that told him the world was on a path to similar destruction. What does he know that urged him to 'kill the demon before it could be born', so to speak. Or, nip it in the bud? That's a more on theme phrase, ain't it...

I have this same question.

Here's a screen clip from the Wiki page for "Floette Returns". It summarizes what happens in the Pokemon Adventures manga. While this isn't considered canon to the game, I found this interesting, and it supports my assessment of Lysandre well. I think the manga is allowed to go into topics that the games aren't always able to explicitly discuss.

"As the group watches AZ depart, Trevor guesses that Lysandre must have lost himself in despair after years of philanthropy in a bid to help the disadvantaged, and his bitterness led him to founding Team Flare in the first place."

So okay, Lysandre. I understand where you're coming from. But, I don't think destroying everything is the answer.

Seriously, who was he talking to that made him raise those hackles so high? My last thought, is that I find him incredibly interesting, now that I understand. I do think he's entitled, though, and a brat. In the same way I think N can be a bit entitled to fixing the worlds 'problems'. But that's probably a symptom of how they're both raised.

That's all I have for now. I'll discuss AZ in the future. I have a lot to say about him, too.

[hollyethecurious]

CS AU: Pan Says... (10/13)

Summary: After waking up in a strange room with a naked stranger, Emma and Killian must endure the twisted game their kidnapper insists they play in order to gain provisions and avoid punishments.

A/N: You read that right! I have a final chapter count! We are nearing the end, and I can't thank y'all enough! I hope you enjoy these concluding chapters (they'll be updating on Mondays and Thursdays) and don't yell at me too much. (Actually, go ahead. I kinda like it 😘)

Much love to my @kmomof4 and @ultraluckycatnd for being amazing cheerleaders and betas! Love you, ladies!

Rated E / Also available on ao3 and ff.net / buy me a coffee / add to tag list / Curious? Come Ask Me!  

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six  / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine

Part Ten

“What sort of game is he playing at now, do you think?” Killian murmured as he and Emma made their way to the showers.

“Who the hell knows,” Emma groused. “I’ve given up trying to understand him or even attempt to stay ahead of his demented games.”

“Aye.” Killian sighed and gestured Emma towards the working showerhead, allowing her to go first.

“Not that I’m not relieved that our fears seem to have been… premature,” she said, stepping into the spray and wetting her long tresses.

Killian swallowed past the bolt of lust that always manifested when he saw her like this and added, “It is hard to enjoy the current peace and quiet, knowing there is likely a sword of Damocles hanging over us, though.”

Emma swiped the cascades of water from her face and gave him the look she usually employed whenever his “nerd side” came out, complete with an eye roll and stifled grin.

They spent the next few minutes in silence while Emma lathered, conditioned, shaved, and rinsed. In an effort to keep his libido in check, Killian let his mind wander over the past two plus weeks since he and Emma entertained Pan’s guests.

They’d gone to sleep that night with the worry of what Pan might have in store for them next and Killian’s dreams had been nightmarish reflections of those fears. None of which had come to fruition these past weeks. In fact, Pan had demanded very little of them at all, leaving them to their own devices much of the time whilst lavishing them with unearned gifts.

It was downright unsettling.

Killian’s eyes drifted down to his Swan’s lower abdomen and his jaw tightened from the equally unsettling knowledge that their recent activities may have already begun to bear their natural consequences, yet there was no way for him to know for certain. He knew she had not yet had a period, but he did not know whether that was unusual after the removal of an IUD. Of course, Emma was completely unaware that she was no longer protected from an unwanted pregnancy, therefore a lack of period was of no concern for her. He wondered, should they be fortunate enough to dodge the bullet of conception, what her reaction would be if and when her period did occur. Would Pan expect him to continue the charade of not knowing?

The continued deceit and knowledge that every aspect of their lovemaking wasn't completely consensual caused Killian’s stomach to tighten and churn painfully with guilt. He hated keeping it from her, but what other choice did he have?

“Your turn,” Emma said, pulling him from his tormented thoughts. His eyes snapped up and met the concern expressing itself through her furrowed brow and curious expression. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, love,” he replied, waving off her scrutiny with a quipped bit of sass that wasn’t entirely untrue. “Just a bit vexed by our esteemed host.”

Emma hummed her understanding and agreement, rubbing her hand down his arm affectionately as they traded places.

Once back in their now very cramped room, given the number of ‘luxuries’ Pan had provided them in the wake of their exhibition, they went through their normal, post-shower routines before settling back on their bed.

“Do you think he’d let us visit the terrace again without having to complete a ‘Pan Says’?” Emma inquired softly, tucking her legs beneath her in an attempt to get comfortable. “Like he did with the shower?”

Killian pondered her question. He knew they had both been surprised at the lack of quid pro quo when they’d finally broken down and begged Pan for an opportunity to shower. After all, it had been over two weeks since they’d been given leave to go and have a proper wash-up, and there was only so much a rinsed and reused washcloth, a small sink, and a vanishing bar of soap could do at this point. Killian had braced himself for the expected, unpleasant demand of a Pan Says in response to his and Emma’s request, but when Pan had simply agreed and opened the cell door with a reminder to not stray off the blue line, they’d both found themselves unnerved. Begrudgingly grateful, but mostly unnerved.

“Might be best to not push our luck,” Killian replied.

Emma’s shoulder sagged in disappointment, but the action was followed with a relenting nod of concession that he was probably right. He hated to dishearten her, especially when he’d love nothing more than to go out and breathe fresh air whilst basking in some sunshine. However, until Pan showed his cards and revealed what this new round of the game would entail, he didn’t want them lured into a false sense of security or led into a trap of their own making.

“So,” Emma said, changing the subject. “What will it be? Reading? A movie? Board game? What do you wanna do today?”

Choosing an activity - from the myriad of options their host had provided them over the past fortnight - that might keep them occupied, they spent the rest of the day, and the subsequent days afterward, in relative peace.

Too bad that peace couldn’t last.

“Pan says, you two are going on a field trip.”

Killian balked and noted the way Pan’s unexpected announcement had caught Emma off guard as well.

“A field trip where?” Emma asked warily.

“To another part of the compound,” Pan replied. “There’s something I wish to show you, so…” The cell door screeched open and revealed two Lost Ones standing at the ready. “Pan says, follow the orange line until my Lost Ones indicate you’ve arrived at your destination.”

~/~

Emma was probably going to end up with a crick in her neck from the way she kept craning it to look over her shoulder. The distraction of attempting to ascertain whether these were their original Lost Ones - the ones who seemed to have a connection to her and Killian - had her stumbling over her feet a number of times on the way to their mysterious destination. It was no use, though. Pan had changed their outfits, including their masks. Where before an opening had remained at their mouths and eyes, this new mask covered their faces completely. Emma doubted she’d be able to tell for sure, so she returned her focus to the new areas of the compound the new line led them through.

The orange line had run parallel to the green line, the one that led to the garden terrace, but branched off at the stairwell that led to the upper level. Killian had been silent since they’d left the room and hadn’t glanced her way once since the lines had split off. She knew it was because he was taking in every detail he could and adding the new information to the map in his head. He did finally peer over at her when the Lost Ones ushered them into an elevator, his hand still wrapped firmly around her own as they squeezed in beside the Lost Ones.

“So…” Killian drawled, startling Emma with the way he broke the silence within the elevator. “Are you them? The Lost Ones responsible for us being in this nightmare?”

“Killian,” Emma hissed in admonishment.

His eyes cut down to hers and met her incredulous expression. Why would he ask such a thing now?

“It’s not as though it’s a secret,” he said, turning his attention back to their guards. “Nothing escapes Pan’s attention, so I’m certain he’s well aware of the information one of you gave Emma. So let’s stop pretending we don’t all know you two are the reason Emma and I are here in the first place.”

Neither of them responded, though Emma did notice the guilty shift in one of the Lost One’s stances. Given the raise of his brow, Killian did, too.

Before he could question them again, the elevator lurched to a stop and the doors opened. The first Lost One exited as the second gestured for her and Killian to follow, dropping in behind them both as they continued down the orange lined hallway. They hadn’t gone far when the Lost One stopped and punched in a code into a numbered keypad mounted to the wall. The click of a lock releasing echoed through the hallway and the door swung open, revealing an entryway one might see in a swanky city apartment.

“Come in! Come in!” Pan’s voice crowed excitedly from the speakers in the room beyond. Squeezing her hand, Killian led them through the door and entryway, until they were standing in a naturally lit, warm and inviting living room, lavishly furnished and a sight more welcoming than the cell they’d been inhabiting for the past six weeks.

“What…? Where are we? Who… Who lives here?” Emma stammered, trying to take in not only the spacious living room but the other spaces connected to it as well.

“That will depend entirely on the two of you,” Pan supplied with a familiar note in his tone that alerted them both of an impending Pan Says on the tip of his tongue.

“Let me guess,” Killian snarked in reply before Pan could issue the edict. “Pan says this will be our new home if… we agree to whatever depraved, humiliating, new heights of degradation he has planned for us now?”

Again, Emma stared slack-jawed at Killian. What on earth had gotten into him today?

“Actually,” Pan began, his words carrying a hard edge that was difficult to miss despite the light tone he was attempting to keep. “It’s nothing new. In fact, my request is for you to do a Pan Says you’ve already completed for me once. Rather successfully, as a matter of fact.”

Ripples of dread cascaded down Emma’s spine as she exhaled on a panicked breath, “You want us to do it again. You want us to… entertain them again.”

Killian stiffened at her side, his posture becoming even more menacing than it had in the elevator. “Absolutely not. Separate us if you must, but I’ll not have Emma endure that again!”

“Separate you?” Pan parroted in mocked inquiry. “Why on earth would I separate you?”

“But…” Emma began, a myriad of emotions sweeping through her all at once. “Last time you said if we didn’t, you would--”

“Well, that was before you proved to be such a smashing success with my guests,” Pan told them. “You wouldn’t believe the praise I received for delighting them with such a feast for their debauched tastes… or the amount they’ve offered to pay for a repeat performance.”

“And if we say no?” Killian questioned.

“If you say no, then my guests won’t get a repeat performance… they’ll get an entirely new experience with the two of you.”

“What does that mean?”

Pan paused, allowing the tension and dread to build before explaining, “I’ve never been very good at sharing my toys with others, which is why my monthly exhibitions have always been just that. Exhibitions. Performances. Looky, but no touchy. However…” Another pregnant pause stretched through the room and Emma met Killian’s anxious eyes with panicked ones of her own, both of them now deducing what Pan was about to reveal. “If you will not allow my guests the voyeuristic experience they’ve already paid for, then perhaps I’ll give in to the obscene amount they’ve offered to allow them a more… hands-on role this month.”

“No,” Killian grit out from between his clenched teeth.

“Oh, yes,” Pan oiled in reply. “You can either allow my guests to watch you ravage each other for one night, then have the freedom and luxury of this apartment to dwell in afterward, or I can have you tied down and give my guests what they truly desire. The opportunity to ravage each of you for themselves - in some cases several at a time - for All. Three. Nights. The choice is yours.”

Emma wrapped her arms around her waist and doubled over, a mournful cry catching in the back of her throat as Killian roared next to her, picked up a vase from one of the end tables and chucked it at the wall, shattering it into oblivion.

“Now, now,” Pan tsked over the speakers. “I’ll give you some time to mull it over. We’ve another week before my guests arrive. Pan says to have a look around and talk it over. You can let me know what you decide before my Lost Ones take you back to your quarters.”

Feedback rang through the speakers, but it was nothing in comparison to the ringing in her ears. Reaching up, Emma placed her hands against her hot, flushed face, wet from tears yet also clammy to the touch.

“Swan,” Killian said, somewhere off to her right, his words a mixture of apology and commiseration. His hand ran a soothing caress down her spine, but it did not have the calming effect he intended. Instead, Emma felt her stomach lurch.

“Swan, I’m so--”

“I’m gonna be sick!” Darting through the living room, she just managed to make it to the sink in the kitchen beyond before emptying the contents of her stomach through a series of retches.

“Emma!” Killian cried out in concern, making his way to her in time to hold her hair back for her. She wished he wouldn’t. Wished he didn’t have to see her like this. Wished… so many things, actually.

“I’m sorry, love,” Killian continued to apologize. “I shouldn’t have let my anger get out of control like that. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to make things worse. I--”

“It’s okay,” Emma said, clearing her throat and reaching for a paper towel to wipe her mouth with. “Could you find me a glass?” she asked him. “I need some water.”

“Of course!” He tore open cabinets until he found one with drinking glasses. Handing it over to her, she could feel his scrutiny as she filled it from the tap and took small sips.

“I’m sorry,” she said, taking a turn to apologize for her own lack of ability in keeping it together. “I don’t know why I responded like…” Her words trailed off as something occurred to her. Something that nearly made her heart stop as she instinctively began to reach down towards her abdomen then thought better of it at the last minute, hopefully before Killian noticed.

No. Surely it would be too soon for that if I were…

“You’ve no need to apologize, love,” Killian soothed, though his voice was tight and strained. Glancing up at him, she noted how he only held her gaze for a moment before cutting his eyes away. His Adam’s apple bobbed and the muscle at his jaw flickered. When Emma followed the path of his eyes, she saw the shards of the vase littering the floor.

“You don’t need to beat yourself up either,” she told him. “I don’t think either of us was expecting…”

Killian slammed his hand against the counter, causing her to jump. “That’s just it!” he hollered. “We never expect it! We’re always several steps behind when it comes to his schemes! I’m tired of never knowing what’s next! Of always being on the defensive, never letting our guard down! I thought… I thought we might have the upper hand for once! I thought this might have been our chance to thwart him, but now…”

“What do you mean? Thwart him how?”

Killian ran his hand through his hair and forced himself to take a calming breath. “I thought he might threaten to separate us, like he did the last time. I thought… even though I’d hate being parted from you and having someone else… I thought it would at least mean we could keep one another safe from…”

“I know,” she said, placing a hand on his chest. “I was thinking the same thing.” His eyes snapped to hers and his lips parted in surprise. “As much as I don’t want for us to be separated, I couldn’t help but think how choosing to do so would mess with his plan.”

“Aye,” Killian said on a heavy breath. “Instead, he’s backed us into a corner once again. Leaving us no option but to comply.”

“At least we know what to expect this time,” she said, offering up that small consolation as she looked around the apartment. “And unlike the last one, this prison cell has windows,” gesturing towards a glass door at the back of the kitchen, she quipped, “and a balcony we can throw ourselves off of if it all gets to be too much.”

“Not funny,” Killian clipped even as a smile twitched at his lips. Releasing another heavy sigh, he took her hand. “I suppose we ought to take the full tour,” he groused, nodding towards the big screen tv in the corner of the living room with Pan’s most recent edict scrolling across, “before our jailers come to fetch us.”

~/~

Begrudgingly, Killian had to give it to Pan. The flat was magnificent. Several times he had to remind himself that a gilded cage was still a cage, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t eager to share the space, and the sense of normalcy it might provide, with his Swan.

The kitchen was state-of-the-art and fully stocked with all their favorites. It opened to a balcony that stretched the full expanse of the flat, giving access to the bedroom, bathroom, and…an additional room.

The bedroom was outfitted with a king sized bed, lush linens, a reading nook, and a spacious closet already filled with garments more keeping to their life before their incarceration. Adjoining, there was a luxurious, spa-like bathroom with a shower large enough for both of them to bathe at the same time, as well as a two person soaking tub. The room next to the bedroom was a bit perplexing, however.

“What do you think this space is meant for?” Emma asked after they’d swung the door wide to reveal a cozy, not yet furnished bedroom.

Killian swallowed thickly and shrugged his shoulders, hoping Emma would not take notice of his sudden change in demeanor. He had a pretty good idea what potential use Pan may have had in mind for the small room only steps away from the main suite, but just as he had when his suspicions had run rampant in response to Emma becoming violently ill earlier, he tamped them down and put on his best poker face. Fortunately - or unfortunately - he was spared from having to bluff further.

“Well?” Pan’s voice echoed in from the living room. “What’s the verdict?”

Making their way back to where the obvious camera was, though Killian knew there had to be many more hidden throughout the space, he and Emma glanced at one another with an affirming look before Emma sighed and said, “When do we move in?”

Pan practically crowed in response to their answer. “How about now?”

Killian and Emma both balked. “Now?” Killian said, incredulously.

“Why not?” Pan replied. “Call it a token of my gratitude and a reminder of how generous I can be.”

Killian wasn’t certain how to respond and found himself murmuring an astounded thank you alongside his Swan.

“Just remember my benevolence this weekend when it comes time to entertain my guests,” Pan commented with a slight warning in his voice. “Oh! And I have a few notes to go over with you later this week in preparation.”

“Goody,” Killian grumbled under his breath, earning him an elbow in his ribs.

“Until then… enjoy your new home.”

Killian shuddered and huffed out an exhale. Turning towards Emma, he was met with a stern look and disapproving hands on her hips.

“What has gotten into you?” she demanded.

“What are you--”

“Don’t give me that,” she countered. “You’ve been off all day. Earlier in the shower, then confronting the Lost Ones in the elevator, sassing Pan, smashing vases… Killian,” her expression softened as she reached up to cup his cheek. His face nuzzled into her touch as it was prone to do. “What is going on with you? Talk to me.”

Killian opened his mouth, but the words kept getting stuck in the back of his throat. He didn’t want to lie to her, didn’t want to keep this secret from her, but the alternative…

“I’m scared,” he choked out in no more than a whisper. “Scared I can’t… protect you. Scared that there will come a time when we are truly faced with an impossible choice, or that I’ll have to betray you in some way in order to protect you. Scared that I might be forced to do something you could never forgive. Something I could never forgive myself for.”

“That isn’t going to happen,” she said in an attempt to assuage his fears.

“You don’t know--”

“Yes, I do.” Her tone left no room for argument, but she continued on just the same. “Do you know how I know?” Killian shook his head. “Because I have the same fears. Because I know all of the terrible things you have imagined us having to endure and I have already forgiven you for each and every one of them.” Pressing her forehead against his, she closed her eyes and wet her lips before flicking her gaze up to his once more. “There is nothing - NOTHING - you could ever do in response to Pan’s insanity that I would not forgive you for, just as I hope you would be willing and able to forgive me for--”

“Always,” he said, cutting her off. “There is nothing I would not forgive, love. Nothing.”

A smile ghosted over her lips and she pressed in closer to him. “Then what do you say we get the broken vase cleaned up then make ourselves something to eat, hmm?”

“I suppose I could eat,” he said, pulling back slightly so he could gaze down at her. “Any requests?”

Emma’s brows shot up her forehead and surprise colored her features. “Don’t tell me you can cook.”

“I’ll have you know I am quite deft in the kitchen, Swan.” Waggling his brows, he added, “Almost as much as I am in the bedroom.”

Emma giggled and pulled him in for a kiss, but not before she murmured a final, affirming, “Yep. Total. Forgiveness.”

Part Eleven

[honorhearted]

Ben nearly smiled. Emma's goodness was assuredly a gift -- not just to the people she bestowed it upon, but those like himself who could easily wield it in their favor. At least in this way, he might be able to keep her safe for twelve seconds.

"It's fine," he assured her. "Our customs are not your own, just like no two people share the same upbringing and walks of life. I cannot be angry -- not truly -- but I will admit, I was a bit thrown since no one seeks familiarity unless they are quite close, or wish to court." Finally, he spared her a sidelong glance, a faint smirk lifting the corner of his mouth. "I'm flattered, but the answer is no."

He could joke...sometimes. If anything, it was so damnably suffocating being the voice of reason at any given moment, and it was equally perplexing that a woman who was supposed to be levelheaded and mature seemed more like a rambunctious puppy who wasn't quite yet housebroken.

Dropping his gaze back toward the tracks, Ben hummed at Emma's observations. They were good, sound, and he agreed, "If she is tired, then she undoubtedly stopped to rest...though not on the main road. It's too dangerous. She probably stepped off the beaten path."

“In my kingdom women are allowed to join the army. I don’t mean as nurses or spies, I mean as soldiers."

Ben blinked at that, lifting his head to regard her. "Your nation allows women to fight? Is it because you lack an adequate number of men?"

If he was being honest, the idea was befuddling to him. In his mind, women were meant to be protected and cherished and kept out of harm's way, so suiting them up and arming them with weapons was the exact opposite of that. He supposed it was no wonder Emma was so determined to charge headlong into danger -- a life of battle easily made that into a necessity.

As they trekked along, her explanations became more and more baffling; not because Ben didn't understand her reasoning, but because he did. The parallel was earth-shattering, heart-rending, and more than once, it had taken him a moment to realize he'd stopped breathing. It was much, much, much too much hearing this woman's fears and intentions reflecting his own, and feeling sick to his stomach, he remained silent -- not because he didn't wish to lend his support, but because he genuinely feared that if he did speak, he wouldn't be able to stop. To bare himself, his soul was wholly unwelcome.

"Your men are smiling. If God forbid anything happens to them, that alone will be worth my pain."

She was right. They were smiling, and after months of blood, sickness and pain, he felt guilty for scolding her for bringing light into their hearts -- and in some cases, for the very last time.

Blinking back tears, Ben tried to ignore the lump in his throat and stroked Artillery's neck, using her as a grounding technique as he opted to trail ever-so-slightly out of Emma's view. "Thank you for thinking of them," he whispered. "Sometimes, I feel as though I'm the only one fighting for their care and peace of mind, so...thank you."

That gave her pause as well, and Emma tilted her head, considering it, “That’s a very good point. Well, it truly isn’t needed now, but I shall take the horse if I think the walk is starting to weight on me.” After all she didn’t know how far the woman had gotten, scared as she was. But really, she had to somehow make him understand, eventually, that her long walks could include going up and down a mountain and still have her dancing the same night.

She understood. She immediately understood what he meant, because she knew, she had been there, the memories hadn’t left gaps but slashes so deep her heart never stopped bleeding. Others had tried to tell her so in the past, but they were older, usually, seemingly hardened but worried about it happening to her. How long had this young man been at war? She didn’t speak yet, but nodded to signal she had heard.

“Oh. Oh, yes, I’m sorry, I… where I come from, it is so… truly… innocent and names are for everyone to call you, not just family. Especially for a woman of my status, no one would… I must forget your name so I don’t use it.” It was one thing to tease him, another to push intimacy against him when he said he was uncomfortable - good lord, she didn’t want to be creepy.

“Hard to tell, poor thing…” she answered, “The signs are getting deeper on the ground, she must have started to get tired, she had a basked and… well, she’s likely not used to run around with it…” Of course if she did farming she’d be far stronger than your average lady, but still, strength and stamina were not the same. “I’m… more used to walk for sure,” she started saying hesitantly, keeping her eyes on the tracks - he had shared an intimate knowledge he had, whether he realized it or not, trying to give her advice about his soldiers, it was only fair to try to give honesty back, earnestly this time, “In my kingdom women are allowed to join the army. I don’t mean as nurses or spies, I mean as soldiers. So guess what I did. Can’t very well let people fight all my battles when I was learning how to fend for myself before I knew all the letters.”

She adjusted her skirts, just to keep her hands busy, missed wearing pants dearly, and spoke in an equally calm tone to keep things lighter than words would suggest, “You know… I’ve held dying people in my arms when I was but a kid, and they weren’t dying for the country or because of enemies they made, they died for me. Because my dethroned grandmother wanted my heart on a plate-” more literally than anyone would think, speaking of insane royalty, “-and so I decided that every time I could take care of something alone, I would. I can fight so much better when I’m on my own than when worrying for my companions. But sometimes there is no choice, like now, like it happened plenty times before, and it doesn’t always end well. So I’ve been told before to be careful with my emotions. But I can’t. It’s just-well, I’ve never prided myself to be smart or wise. The only way I can deal with this, all the death and losses, is… to give as much love as I can anyway. And if they do get taken from me, they’ll take some of that love with them, it’s fine, I’ve got plenty more to give. But I’ll get to smile at their memory, have no regrets, and keep going. I can take that. I can take that heartbreak if it means that I didn’t waste one precious second and that they left feeling loved. Most people would be too anguished by those gaps to be able to do it for long, which is more than understandable, but that is all the more reasons that I’m the one to provide love and laughs, so that the others don’t have to if they can’t. Your men are smiling. If God forbid anything happens to them, that alone will be worth my pain. I’ll carry with me like I always do and walk.” Definitely, horribly too honest to say to someone whom she didn’t know well enough to be certain he wouldn’t use it to hurt her, but what was she supposed to do, talk about the weather while death was all around them? “Then again! Even if I wanted to, I’m unable to learn anything from my mistakes. I’ve heard my old tutor say so, she thought my schooling skills were those of a rock. But I’m a woman, so I can afford that.”

[mysticmistral]

I just beat Pokemon Sword, haven't started the DLC yet. Have some memes about one of my favorite characters.

Totally not based off of real life events.

Just my thoughts and opinions on the game below....

Bede deserves to have a good life not under Chairman Rose, make is own goals and not think about appeasing someone who forgot his name even though apparently Rose took him in. He probably sees Rose as a father figure after loosing his parents and is trying to get the chairman to acknowledge his achievements for once and not focus on the champion Leon. It must suck to lose your chance at proving yourself to someone endorsed by the very being you want to defeat just to get your father figures attention.

I felt bad for beating Hop. Not as bad as I did defeating Wally back in ORAS but still. Hop gives off the feeling of someone who was always in his brothers shadow, who's just known for being the champions little brother. I feel like his family didn't help much at all with now much Hop is obsessed; he breaths to become the champion to just feel equal. Maybe he wants his family to notice him for once, no longer neglected. He loves his brother clearly, but he's a bit over obsessed. I like that he becomes a Professor Assistant for Sonia and doesn't focus on trying to be Leon, but to be himself.

Leon is an okay champion, I kinda got tired of everyone being 'undefeated' this and 'undefeated' that. If I was at the legal age to buy alcohol and swore to start a drinking challenge, I would be dead. It was his only trait, and a trait shouldn't be your accomplishments. His little gimmick of getting lost is fine, it was mildly amusing at times. He seems to treat Hop like another Galar citizen, not his little brother. Like another person who idolizes him. I don't know if he was just never around, but I would think an older sibling would try to tell the younger to follow their own path and make their own goals, not allow an unhealthy about of idolization (is that a word?) He got the champion title at the age of ten, so what did he do for the years after? Never see his family?

Sonia is okay, but she's more of a book than a character, that and a Revive giver. I think we as players should be the one discovering the lore of Galar, not her. She got an arc more than the player and she did literally nothing but point out The Darkest Day, something I feel like the player could've done and it would've added a bit more accomplishment for the player in figuring out.

I miss petting Pokemon. That's kinda weird, but it added a bit more bonding to the whole thing, not just swinging around a toy or throwing a ball. Why would some Pokemon even find that amusing?

Chairman Rose is eh. I liked how he wasn't all 'take over the world evil' like others, he had good reasonings but nevertheless, he is a businessman and political figure who the people look up to. They know how to cut corners, but Oleana is there for that. He's too busy and focused on work, like how he doesn't care about the champions words or spend time with Bede, as he forgot the kids name at one point. He's so passionate about this future like Lysandre was in Kalos, and yet he just gives up after you defeat him? Never to be seen again? Lysandre died after standing his ground for his beliefs (cool motive, still murder), no matter how flawed they were. I mean, Rose is a bit more... Mature I guess, to accept the Jail time, but I think one last conversation would have been great. Oleana is just boring, her theme is great along with Rose's but we don't know anything more than she's the party pooper assistant who does the more extreme stuff to make sure Rose's goals are achieved. One Marcos Cosmos (Is that the groups correct name?) guy asks if he have dang LIFE INSURANCE. As in, you die and your loved ones get money. Sure the after conversation is he had some other kind, but Oleana would definitely kill people. The company would do something about it.

Ghost Girl Paula. Rest in Peace. Kid in Frank's house.. Who da HECK you talking to?

There's no Absol in the game, I refused to get the game until I could get my hands on one. Once I get through Crown Tundra I'm getting an And I with Super Luck, get some eggs from them, put them in Pokemon Home, get them out and use an Absol for my journey when I restart.

The animations are... Ehhhh. I love that you can't see the pixels and stuff like the 3Ds. I wish the game had a flying animation for the Flying Taxi, not gonna lie. But Hop's animations are just Hau's from Sun and Moon. But the Pokemon still are stiff and just hop??? There's no turning animation??? The Pokemon can't follow you even though there sprites are in the game? The SCALING! A TREEVANT IS NOT SMALLER OR EQUAL HEIGHT THAN A LUCARIO! Everything is so dang out of proportion! Treevant looks like the size of a kid!

I personally would've liked to see some familiar faces. I liked how Looker appeared in all of the 3Ds games and had a major role in XY and Sun and Moon. Or maybe that was Ultra S/M, I can't remember. I want to see Lillie as a fully fledged Trainer, or Lusamine back in the good light, or Emma from XY who was left to look after Looker Bureau or AZ, or fricken Zinnia from Oras who left! I've been wanting to see Zinnia for so long! Those after story characters who grew on you, unlike those annoying Sworbert and Shielbert guys. I wanted to kill those guys. The only -bert I care for is Siegburt.

And I wish they had color wheels for skin tone, hair and eyes.

That is all I have to say about it. It's a good game, just not one that sticks out. Kinda sad about Megas being gone but I guess Dynamax and Gigantimax is fine too...

[emma-what-son]

(Echee post) Emma Watson criticises 'dangerously unhealthy' pressure on young women

Posted on March 30 2014

From theguardian.com March 2014 Emma Watson has criticised the "dangerously unhealthy" image projected by the fashion industry and said the pressure to look perfect has taken its toll on her. The actor has also described her doomed attempts to merge into the background as a student at an American university, where she found herself being trailed everywhere by British photographers. After the recent New York premiere of Noah, she tweeted a photograph of the array of cosmetics – and a guardian angel pin – that she said were essential aids to her flawless appearance, and another of herself in a backless dress captioned: "I did NOT wake up like this." The actress said she is better at taking criticism these days than she once was. "As a younger woman, that pressure got me down, but I've made my peace with it. With airbrushing and digital manipulation, fashion can project an unobtainable image that's dangerously unhealthy. I'm excited about the ageing process. I'm more interested in women who aren't perfect. They're more compelling." Watson became famous playing Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter movies and has been constantly in work since. She is about to start filming a thriller, Regression, by Alejandro Amenábar and is also trying to complete her degree at Brown University, Rhode Island. She enrolled in 2009 for what would have been a four year course, but has taken several breaks for film work, and spent a year studying at Oxford. "After Harry Potter, all that mattered was university," she said, in an interview with the Sunday Times. "It wasn't always easy to break down barriers, as having men from the British press following me with cameras didn't help my mission to integrate. The American press, by contrast, "afforded me so much privacy", but her fellow students recognised her at once. "On the first day, I walked into the canteen and everyone went completely silent and turned around to look at me. I had to say to myself 'it's OK, you can do this'. You just have to take a deep breath and gather your courage."

GUARDIAN COMMENTERS SAY: So something like this Burberry campaign she did a few years ago? Hypocrisy at its finest. She flaunts with the fashion industry and enjoys its perks all the time, but hops on the 'female beauty' bandwagon and enjoys a moan when it suits her. I'd find her socially conscientious pleas convincing if she hadn't profited in the hundreds of thousands (if not millions) from the big, bad, evil fashion/beauty industry. A few years ago, Emma Watson appeared in high-profile advertising companies for posh Paris fashion house L'ancome. I'm guessing she was handsomely remunerated for her 'work'. Certainly she was not forced into letting her photo shopped image be used to market expensive cosmetics and perfumes. Did she only discover how 'oppressive' the fashion industry is when L'ancome cancelled her lucrative contract? Ms Watson is essentially a third-rate actress, and her pronouncements on large and complex issues, such as the pressures on women, are so idiotically vapid that one is brought to conclude that she really can have very little aptitude for higher education. I mean, her comments are hardly indicative of an educated person, or even of a moderately literate or intelligent person. By the way, I understand that she spent a year at Oxford as a visiting and/or exchange student while enrolled at Brown. How come? She is a British national, and so by rights she should not have gone to Oxford on a visiting/exchange student programme, irrespective of whether she happens a student at an American university. If I am wrong about this, then I should like to have some explanation as to her status at Oxford, and how she came by it. Otherwise, I suppose that one might be forgiven for thinking that it is yet another case of a once respectable academic institutions bowing down before the false idols of celebrity and money. (This is quite apart from the fact that all that one has read about her since she began life as a student concerns her acting career, her modeling and her various boyfriends.) SOME COMMENTS FROM THE DM ARTICLE Notice how it's always people who are very aware of how attractive they are that babble on about how it's okay to have physical blemishes? I'd like to see an ugly person say the same thing. Only someone young, beautiful and with her whole life before her can say that, and mean it. Sometimes, her comments maKe her more stupid. Get lost and Wingardium Leviosa. What a daft thing to say. But, then again, this is coming from someone who can't seem to finish uni. I feel like I've aged about 10 years reading this article. Annoying girl. Not only annoying, but also pretentious and disingenuous. ^None of this is my words. It from commentators from two sites emma-what-son posted many more so check out her page

Here's what I think As for what she is saying about Brown it's a complete 180 from how she described it before 2013. In 2013 she started to elude to the fact it was not as great as she made it out to be. She gushed how wonderful her experiences had been to so many magazines. Now I think she's looking for pity and to have excuses why she never stayed at Brown. She preached how she was staying put. I am so fucking tired of having to post quote after quote proving my point with this when she lies time after time. She is not honest! What the truth is doesn't matter because she always lying. It's a constant thing with her. As for the pressures on women she is really a piece of work. The guardian commenters summed it up nicely. She had no problem attaching herself to Burberry and Lancôme. She's had no problem giving them praise and talking about fashion and make-up in just about every interview. That part where she talked about photo shopping and air brushing. Just wow! Did she see the Wonderland magazine she edited? Some photos it didn't even look like her. She'll continue allowing her image to be manipulated no matter what. She thinks she’s aging? She still looks 15 without all the make-up and photo shopping. Last year she was stopped at JFK because they thought she was a unaccompanied minor. Did you know one of the product she pushed when modeling for Lancôme was an anti-age cream? That's the dumbest comment in her entire interview. But really she's said this kind of stuff the last three years and most notably in 2011 where she had a various quotes about body image and being comfortable in your skin. I wont bore you with those quotes since I have before. She gets lauded for those comments and people place her in role model status but when you closely look at it they were just words that meant nothing at the time other than to make people think, “Emma is so anti-Hollywood!! She’s a role model for women and young girls” but meanwhile she never believed in any of it in the first place. At the time she said those things she was at a more healthier weight than she ever was. In 2011 you can tell she either stopped working out or ate more. I thought she looked her best then. Now she’s back to stick thin and even surpassed it a way IMO is unhealthy. She sending a bad message to women. From standard.co.uk July 2011, “She sees modeling as an extension of acting, in fact - just playing a role - but is conflicted about its demands. “I think the pressure the media and the fashion industry put on women to look a certain way is pretty intense. There’s a certain tyranny to trying to achieve that kind of beauty. I don’t know, I’m maybe not the best person to speak about this because I obviously completely adhere to it,” she laughs nervously. “ ^She really needs to start taking her own advice and quit being a judgmental hypocrite. Not just with this topic but everything she tends to speak out against that she does it herself. Recently she tweeted a photo of all this make-up and I posted this on my tumblr days ago

^Same phone in this photo is what they're using in the bottom photo that I also posted on tumblr She said something else recently (Sunday Times interview) that is just typical Emma. I covered this a few times. From emmawatsonbelgium.blogspot.be March 2014, "For someone who has starred in eight blockbuster movies and is worth an estimated £30m, she is endearingly modest about how green she felt leaving Harry Potter behind in 2011. Emerging from that magical machine was “really intimidating”, she says. “I’d done two tiny plays when I was, like, six and eight, but I wasn’t driven to act. I wasn’t doing Oscar acceptance speeches into a hairbrush." Yeah it might have no been a hairbrush but who knows she could be lying about that. She'd practice her speeches in mirrors. From telegraph.co.uk July 2007,  "Pauline is utterly obsessed with being an actress and I was just like that when I was younger. I dreamt of it. I practised speeches in front of mirrors. Whenever there was a part at school, I went for it. I was probably a bit of a show-off in the sense that any chance to get up and be seen, I did it. I was such a drama queen. I used to wail and moan and cry, and little things were blown up into being big things. I don't know how my parents stood it, really. I've grown up a bit. I've had to. I actually really want to be an actress, a proper actress who makes it her career. I'm always expecting to be found out and I thought, If I'm no good, now is the time to find out." She really wants people to think she all of a sudden wants to act. What I think is she is really trying to distance herself from her lack luster post Potter career by making it out like she now wants to act and that’s why she has no lead roles because her resume does not equal her hype. The last few years she’s separated herself from “always wanted to be an actress” to “I was not sure”. She’s being disingenuous as usual and people believe it. Plus she said she did modeling so directors and producers would look at her differently so that's why she used Burberry and Lancôme. And she did a course at RADA in 2008 so if she was not sure or didn't want to than why did she do these things? One more thing from the Sunday Times interview From emmawatsonbelgium.blogspot.be March 2014, "It’s about as close as she’ll get to revealing anything about her newest relationship, with Matt Janney, rugby hunk and Oxford’s most eligible bachelor. “I can’t comment on it, I’m sorry,” she says, suddenly jumping up and hastily bundling her things back into her bag, which has exploded across the sofa beside her. “I’m trying to keep my private life sacred, although I don’t want to lock myself up and never go out. So I guard it, because I don’t date people who are famous, and I don’t think it’s fair that, all of a sudden, intimate details of their personal life are public as a direct result of me. I find that so uncomfortable, and I wish there was a way I could protect those people, but it’s not in my control.” When I suggest her boyfriends are consenting adults, she looks worried. “But you don’t choose who to love, who you have feelings for, do you?” She throws her phone into her bag and retreats home to pack, as she’s flying to LA. Just a normal girl, then, off to present an Oscar."

So she can go to international magazines and complain she can't find a man or that men are intimidated by her? She had in the past before Will Adamowicz. It was in almost every one of her interviews for a few years. So she can use Matt Janney (this new guy) on a beach in a bikini PDA session as a publicity stunt to cover up her ex boyfriend being caught rolling coke bombs and also use him to product place an iPhone in Madrid but she wants to keep it private? And she doesn't date famous guys? What about Johnny Simmons (Young Neil) and George Craig (Front man for rock group One Night Only)?  If you can Google their name and you see them in movies or music videos, they're famous.