#that was the first thing i thought of when i started watching derry girls

[wanderinginksplot]

What to watch during the writer's strike:

Don't pay attention to companies who blame writers for delayed movies and television shows! The WGA strike comes from people who are trying to make things better - not only for themselves and other writers, but the films and tv shows we all love.

While we wait for a resolution, I thought I would share some existing television shows that I enjoy. I didn't bother with too much well-known stuff. Instead, I focused on shows I feel many people missed because of the glut of content that all premiered at once over the last few years. (I may make another one of these for movies later on, but this one is about tv.)

[Update: Movie version here]

Feel free to add on! Just try to give a quick, spoiler-free synopsis for the show and the streaming service where it can be found.

List under the cut!

Netflix:

The Good Place (2016-2020) - A 'bad' woman is accidentally sent to heaven. She and her moral philosophy professor of a soulmate try to save her soul by making her a better person. Genre: Comedy with deeper implications and one of the best endings in television history.

Russian Doll (2019-2022) - When Nadia dies at her birthday party, she's more than a little confused to come back. Especially when it keeps happening. Genre: Time loop drama with a wicked sense of humor and a dash of theoretical physics. Potentially not ended?

Narcos (2015-2017) - The fight of the American DEA and the Colombian army against cocaine kingpin Pablo Escobar and his reign of terror. Genre: Drama with thrilling elements. Lots of violence, some sex and language. Lots of subtitles. Features Pedro Pascal and Boyd Holbrook, if you need some extra incentive.

Derry Girls (2018-2022) - Five teens grow up in Derry, Ireland in the 1990s, amid the final years of the Troubles, a low-level war that lasted roughly 30 years. Genre: Comedy. Some sexual content, some religious content, less violence than you would expect, and the best nun ever to appear on film.

Arcane (2021-?) - Two sisters are alienated when one accidentally kills their adoptive father. Their different paths threaten the fragile peace of a city already on the breaking point. Genre: Drama with elements of action-adventure. Though it's animated, Arcane's animation is beautifully done with tantalizing steampunk elements that will keep you invested.

Disney+:

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008-2020) - If you haven't seen any of the Star Wars animated series, this is a good place to start. Set in the time gap between Episode II and Episode III, this series helps flesh out Anakin Skywalker and the Jedi. It is also a great introduction to some of the characters and plots of The Mandalorian. (Star Wars: Rebels is another good choice.) Genre: Adventure with some drama. Violence and death are a large part of The Clone Wars, but it's usually appropriate for children. The clone troopers will steal your heart!

Gravity Falls (2012-2016) - Dipper Pines and his sister Mabel are sent to Gravity Falls, Oregon to live with their great-uncle for their summer break. But when Dipper finds a mysterious book in the woods, the pair find that Gravity Falls is far more mysterious than it seems... Genre: Adventure with a lot of comedy. Though it's billed as a children's cartoon, Gravity Falls is an intriguing watch with mystery subplots that will keep anyone guessing. It also features a famously strong and cohesive series ending. I was in my late 20s when I first watched this and I was still invested!

Daredevil (2015-2018) - After being blinded as a young boy, Matthew Murdock trained his other senses to replace the sight that he lost. He uses his skills to protect the helpless in the New York City neighborhood of Hell's Kitchen. Genre: Action and superhero. Features a lot of incredibly choreographed violence. (Jessica Jones is also an excellent show to watch, especially if you think of David Tennant as the consummate 'good guy'. He's got range!)

HBO Max (Just 'Max' now, I guess):

Ghosts (2019-2023) - Petty roommate squabbles don't stop just because you're dead! Alison and her husband Mike inherit a house, then a near-death experience allows Alison to see its ghostly inhabitants. Chaos and humor ensue as the ghosts try to adjust to the house's new owners. Genre: Humor. Ghosts is a British sitcom, but since the writers are comedians (writing and performing in Horrible Histories), the show is done in a style that feels more natural to American viewers. Hint: watch the BBC version, not the American one. They're fairly similar, but definitely not the same!

Pushing Daisies (2007-2009) - A pie-maker with the ability to bring back the dead helps to solve murders. He's helped by his once-dead childhood sweetheart. Genre: Comedy with some dramatic elements. Some of the CGI-heavy moments haven't aged particularly well, but the show has a unique premise and an incredibly talented cast!

Hulu:

Abbott Elementary (2021-?) - This mockumentary series showcases an inner-city elementary school in Philadelphia. The teachers and administration do their best for the kids, but they're constrained by budgets and the limitations of the educational system itself. Genre: Comedy mockumentary. Though Abbott Elementary is fictional, some of the issues brought up are all too real. This is a funny and incisive look at the American public school system.

Amazon Prime:

Fleabag (2016-2019) - The unnamed protagonist of the show struggles through life on her own with limited support from her alienated family and the memories of her recently deceased best friend. Genre: Comedy with lots of dramatic elements. Lots of sexual content and references, some language, breaking the fourth-wall, and several characters you just long to hit. I watched the second season in a single day, that's how good this was.

Unknown Streaming Service:

Black Sails (2014-2017) - This prequel to Treasure Island features elements from the book, original characters, and real pirates from history in a setting that emphasizes realism. Captain Flint and his crew search for a legendary prize... one that might allow them to claim Nassau for their own. Genre: Action and adventure. Think Game of Thrones, but with pirates. Incredibly well-written and well-acted with gorgeous scenery, LGBTQ representation, and just enough historical accuracy to keep things grounded. Black Sails also boasts one of the best endings ever given for a television show.

Like I said, please feel free to reblog and add your own television show recommendations onto this list! There are plenty of things to watch and plenty of ways to support the WGA strike that don't involve giving in to big studios.

[micamicster]

Micaaaaaa I am in need of a good TV show. IWTV left me craving for some good writing, please help 💙 I know some of your all-time favourites are Black Sails and The Wire, I gave them a try, but I'm afraid they're a bit too bleak for me :(( Any good recs?

Bestie this is a great question and im honestly a terrible person to direct it to because the truth is I really don't watch a ton of tv! But I'm gonna do my best!

Beneath the cut find a list of shows I think are particularly well written, divided into vague and confusing categories based on how similar to iwtv they might seem?

<3 <3 <3

(Totally get Black Sails and the Wire feeling too heavy. The wire in particular is imo the single most upsetting thing thats ever been put on television so I completely get not being up for it. But if anyone else is looking for shows I think are really well written those would be good places to start! Black Sails would be my first rec for iwtv fans tbh)

Dramas with syfy/fantasy elements:

Russian Doll: for literally anyone other than you (who's already watched it!) this would be my number one rec. One of the best (and specifically best written) shows of all time, has those spec fic surrealist elements, combines comedy and drama, just love it.

Andor: I know, I was surprised too. But despite being a star wars tv show it actually has writers that do a? good? job? And Diego Luna is spectacular. (If black sails was too grim this might also feel that way given our knowledge of the main character's fate, but it might be worth checking out anyway)

I forgot what i was going to put here

Not sf:

Reservation Dogs: Taika Watiti can be hit or miss for me, but this show is the best of his particular combination of humor and pathos. Also he's just really good at writing kids? (I would be remiss if I didn't point out that he has been (rightfully!) criticized for the antiblackness of couple of minor characters who appropriate black culture pretty egregiously, iirc they don't feature after season 1? But it is a flaw to be aware of). Why didn't I put this with the sitcoms? My mind is mysterious even to me

Bad Sisters: great 1 season irish show about a group of sisters trying to murder their sister's abusive husband. Again a really strong writing combo of humor and genuine emotion!

The Get Down: still not over this cancellation it hurt me in ways I can't even begin to explain... anyway a great show about the birth of rap in 70s nyc with beautifully thought out costumes, music, writing, visual style <3

The Americans: two russian spys undercover as an american suburban couple in the 80s is actually a vehicle for a probing exploration of marriage and intimacy. Also pretty grim (the cold war. yeah.) so idk if it would be for you.

The Knick: nobody ever watches this when I rec it because it's too gorey but I don't care! I love it! Period drama about a public hospital in early 1900s new york.

Sitcoms!: (sorry I know you've watched half of these just wanted to include them in case anyone else looked at this list!)

Derry Girls: this show is just hit after hit. Best written show about teens in the world!

We Are Lady Parts: See this entire blog. Genuinely one of the best shows ever made

American Vandal: Ok technically this is more of a mockumentary than a sitcom but i wasn't sure where else to put it. Season one in particular is some of the best tv show writing I've ever watched it is perfect in every way!

MASH: 70s sitcom about a US military field hospital during the Korean War. At its best it's hysterically funny, absurdist, and bitingly furiously anti-war. (At its worst it's racist, sexist, and boring. It was the 70s) This show was a cultural phenomenon, but it has literally over 200 episodes so I would recommend just googling for a best-of list and watching a handful to see if it works for you.

Atlanta: Donald Glover's surrealist sitcom about trying to manage his cousin's rap career in Atlanta. That's such a bad explanation of what this show is about i'm sorry but I'm not sure how to do better.

Shows I've watched between 1 episode and 1 season of, thought to myself "wow! this show is amazing!" but can't in good conscience recommend because I never really watched enough of them to qualify as an expert:

The Sopranos: everyone says it's the best tv show of all time and i watched season one, said wow they're right! and still haven't managed to get back to it! The pilot itself is so fucking funny like... mobster goes to therapy for his anxiety had to have been the pitch of all time

Station eleven: LOVED the book, heard really good things about the tv show, thought the pilot was amazing, got busy and couldn't finish it.

Babylon Berlin: this has the darkly romantic, opulent qualities of iwtv so it might be for you! Unfortunately I've seen less than half of it so I can't promise it doesn't go off the rails.

Breaking Bad: people are right! it's good! It's also (at least in season one, the only season I've watched so far) like someone made a slapstick comedy about a man cooking meth. In a good way!

You might want to just watch a couple gothic romances to scratch that iwtv itch! Check out an adaptation of Jane Eyre or Wuthering Heights!

WOW this is too hard. Just watch supernatural i guess

[areseebee]

🪲🐝 🍄

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

just shared my response to this in this ask! it's kind of a boring WIP share, sorry. i'm not at a very exciting part of the draft.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

i mean @derrygirlstrash and @imstressedx are the original homies who have listened to me talk about my writing for at least ten thousand hours and have been beta readers and thought partners and good friends. many of my fics wouldn't exist or wouldn't exist as they are today without them!

but i would truly be remiss not to mention @private-bryan who is the best model of fandom that we've got for the small derry girls corner of the internet - he writes and crafts and binds fics and creates community in doing it. he's the first commenter on mine and so many other's fics, he is always actively sharing from the derry girls tag, and always seems to come at it all with real joy. we should all approach our fandom spaces like PB and the derry girls fandom is lucky to have him.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

i have a headcanon (that is referenced in this ficlet) that after the carrie moment in 2x05 and james attempting to leave derry in 2x06, erin makes more of an effort to spend time with him and does so under the facade of wanting to watch horror films with james. for fun, i wrote bits and pieces of a counterpart to erin's diary for derrygirlstrash which i called "james's journal," which is where james details erin approaching him about the horror films. here's a couple of excerpts:

Erin is coming over soon. Michelle's not here, so it's just us two. We're going to watch Scream. Ever since Mae's Carrie stunt, Erin says she wants to watch more horror films because she thinks there's a lot to be learned about life in stories where people are facing down their worst fears. I thought Scream would be perfect. Michelle liked it so much and it really subverts so many horror tropes in a clever way. I think she'll really like it.

Erin liked Scream, but she got really scared at a couple of parts. I tried to talk during the parts that were going to be scary, or warned her, but she still grabbed my hand once when Tatum got killed in the garage door. I didn't realise she'd do that. My palm was a little sweaty. I hope she didn't mind. But even though she was scared, she said it's good, like exposure therapy. She wants to watch another horror film next week.

eventually they start on the halloween series, which then gets the rest of the girls interested (to erin's obvious chagrin), but when halloween III rolls around, everyone dips out again (as it is a notoriously controversial installment; this is the film that's referenced in the ficlet i linked above). eventually james begins to suspect that it might not just be about horror films, and is an initial way that james and erin begin to spend more alone time together leading into series 3.

writers truth & dare ask game

[phregnancy]

do you have any tv recommendations? like any kind

i have watched an ungodly amount of television in my life so i’m going to list the first that come to mind that i’ve enjoyed in no particular order and take what you want from that

- buffy - everyone’s familiar with buffy, teen/young adult drama with comedy woven in (not a dramedy though)

- angel - buffy’s angstier counterpart

- la familia peluche - family centered sitcom, i think the humor’s kind of unique

- that 70’s show - teen sitcom, starts strong and gets weaker over time

- derry girls - teen sitcom about northern ireland in the 90s

- malcolm in the middle - early 2000s us family centered sitcom, i like that things are not perfect

- welcome to samdal-ri - sam-dal deserves everything imo

- scrubs - medical sitcom

- el chavo - classiccc sitcom, it’s from the 70s and definitely is a product of the time

- twin peaks - love the mystery, however when my friend showed it to me she was annoyed because i guessed the outcome less than ten minutes into the first episode

- x-files - really enjoyed scully and mulder’s relationship but don���t like the last season (as is the case with most shows)

- hello, my twenties! - generally heartwarming story of friends growing into adulthood

- living single - everything i thought about nyc was because of this show

- betty la fea - a novela pero it’s short so really just a nove, not sure how the humor would land if you’re not already familiar with latam media

- ugly betty - the us counterpart, i think it’s better than the original largely because it was given the time to flesh out the various plots

- my first first love - another heartwarming coming of age kdrama

- the secret life of an american teenager - cheeeesy and poorly acted but it’s so ridiculous that it’s funny

- house - tumblr’s favorite medical drama

- my name is earl - sitcom about a man making amends and ends in a way that infuriates me

- abbott elementary - my birthday buddy quinta brunson’s show, one of my favorite sitcoms

- raising hope - an imperfect family focused sitcom

- my mad fat diary - teen mental health drama

- svu - copaganda but watching predators get hurt is a comfort to me

- everybody hates chris - hilarious family focused sitcom, also influenced what i thought about nyc

- yellowstone - a more involved drama but very good if you have the time to dedicate to it

- grey’s anatomy - horrible, horrible medical drama, but another that is insane and that’s the fun

- pretty little liars - another insane teen drama filled with plot inconsistencies and retcons

- lost - drama. i couldn’t begin to explain anything else if i tried, another that requires undivided attention if you haven’t seen it before

- the fresh prince - funny feel good sitcom, sometimes i play it to fall asleep to

- king of the hill - adult cartoon comedy based in texas, that is what i imagine texas is like sorry if it’s inaccurate

- freaks and geeks - teen dramedy featuring some now really well known actors

[gallavichthings]

Writer's Spotlight - Rita

This interview is long overdue and has been long in the making! I'm super pleased and excited to finally present a friend and my right arm on this blog, Rita aka @sickness-health-all-that-shit aka whatyouandihave on AO3, author of Lifeline, Possiblities, Short&sweet and several other fics, and some great gifs too!

R: I grew up in a small-ish town, dreaming about going to university, finding a job I loved, and living on my own with a cat as my companion. I'd say my 13-year-old self would be pretty happy with how my life turned out! I've always been into tv shows and films, plus languages and literature (that's what I mainly studied at uni) and I've managed to find a job that combines those things, which is the absolute dream! I translate and adapt lines into Italian so that dubbing actors can replace the original dialogues of movies, tv shows, documentaries and the like. Besides reading and writing and watching shows, I love travelling, enjoying good food and spending time with my family.

GT: Oh, that's a great job! It looks like you're living your dream, and I'm very happy for you! I assume you must watch all kinds of shows for your job, but what do you watch in your leisure time?

R: Yeah, for work I've had to watch plenty of children's cartoons, anime and lots of unscripted programs like reality television, cooking competitions and things like that. All stuff I would not watch in my spare time 😁 Some of my favourite shows are Btvs, Doctor Who, Breaking Bad, The Office, Outlander, Derry Girls, Peaky Blinders, Dexter and Shameless. I also watch a lot of British comedy panel shows (Taskmaster, QI, Big fat quiz of the year etc) and stand up comedy.

GT: Oh, some of my favorites on this list! Do you read/write fics for these other fandoms as well?

R: Nope! I actually came to fanfic pretty late, despite all the years spent lurking in fandom spaces. I only really started reading fics about 4 years ago, and that was after the Ian and Mickey prison reunion, having binged the first 8 seasons of Shameless a few months before that. I had read a couple fics for other fandoms over the years, but I honestly wasn't that interested. I was content with just rewatching the shows I loved and maybe making up my own headcanons, but nothing more. I guess you could say Ian and Mickey have made a fanfiction convert out of me!

GT: What was it about them that you think made you want to write your own fics, especially coming into the fandom late, as you said yourself, when there were already a lot of fics written.

R: Honestly, it just looked like so much fun to play around with them and all the themes you could explore through their story. When I first started reading fics, it opened so many avenues in my mind (I was so convinced I wouldn't be into AUs at first. Wrong!) and I was also reading tons of meta that had been posted on Tumblr over the years, which I had a lot of thoughts about. I think part of it was about needing a creative outlet at that point. I hadn't really written fiction before, and definitely not in English, but I think I'd always wanted to try and write stories. Building a world and creating characters from scratch would have been way too daunting, but playing around with my Ian and Mickey 'dolls' was instant, cathartic fun. There's just so much potential there, so much history and emotional depth to these characters and their love story that keep me coming back to them over and over.

GT: Do you tend to write more from Ian's or Mikey's pov?

R: I alternate a lot depending on the vibe of fic, but I guess maybe Ian's? The longest multichapter I have up is almost entirely written in Ian's pov, and one fic I'm writing at the moment that's gonna be longer than my usual is also from his pov. I have a lot of fun with Mickey's, but I really love exploring Ian's inner world in depth.

GT: What do you consider your forte when writing fic, the thing that comes to you more easily? And what do you struggle with sometimes?

R: I love writing dialogue the most, and I think I'm pretty good at making it sound in character for them and nailing their voice. I definitely struggle with descriptions and maybe pacing. I'd love to write a slow burn but I don't think they're for me. I get too impatient lol

GT: What kind of fics do you write the most? 

R: I mostly write one-shots, but hope to work on more multichapters in the future. I've also posted a series of short ficlets. Lots of fluff, some angst, though always with a happy or at least hopeful ending. Maybe someday I'll try my hand at some smut? Who knows. A lot of my fics tend to be either canon compliant fill-ins that expand on canon scenes or different first meeting AUs, especially meet-uglies. I also like including Mandy and exploring her friendship with Ian and sibling relationship with Mickey. I love writing banter and sprinkling in humour in my fics.

GT: I'm a huge sucker for meet-uglies! Which of your fics are you the proudest of?

R: Oh, the one I'm most proud of has got to be The stranger in my brother's bed. It was my first stab at a multi-chapter, my first AU and a chance to play around with different POVs and an unfolding plot. It's also still my most popular fic to date. It's very sweet and fluffy and warm. When it comes to one-shots my favourite I've written is probably Unexpected, a dialog-heavy meet-ugly with lots of banter and flirting. And then there's Caught me by surprise, my second attempt at a multi-chapter that's still currently a WIP. I do hope to finish those last two chapters someday, but I'm proud of it all the same. It's the longest thing I've written and I got to have fun with tropes like Fake dating, Secret relationship and Bed sharing.

GT: Are there any tropes or ideas you haven't had a chance to explore yet but you'd like to someday?

R: I'd like to write some fill-ins for the early seasons, especially exploring Mickey's pov. Of course a lot of amazing fics like that exist already, but it'd be a chance to expand on my headcanons and do some interesting character studies. Other than that, I have a few ideas for plot-heavy stories that sometimes I think might be too ambitious for me but also can't get out of my head. If I ever write them, they may feature tropes such as Childhood friends, Soulmate AU, Private investigator AU, and even a Genie AU, though fantasy is definitely not my go-to genre. I'd also love to write an angsty Enemies to lovers or a classic Roommates AU. And maybe some canon divergent stuff.

GT: Where do you get inspiration from?

R: Movies and tv shows I watch, stories I read or random posts I see on Tumblr are all potential sources of inspiration for me. Sometimes I'll get particularly obsessed with a line a character said in canon or a certain scene and a story just forms in my head around it. And when all else fails, I go looking for a prompt that speaks to me to get things going.

GT:What about motivation? Do you force yourself to take time to write or do you wait for motivation to strike randomly?

R: I'm still trying to find a balance that works when it comes to motivation, to be honest. I've gone many months waiting for motivation to strike, and getting more and more frustrated and disappointed the longer I waited in vain for it to come. Other times I'll try to force it, but end up convincing myself I have lost any ability to write I once had 😅 I definitely work better with some sort of deadline and 'peer pressure'. That's why I'm trying to participate in as many fandom events as I can at the moment. I struggle with anxiety, so I used to think it would be too stressful for me, but I need some structure in order to be productive. And sometimes it is a matter of getting yourself to write a little bit (almost) every day, just to move things along and keep the momentum going.

GT: What's your writing process like?

R: If it's something long or plot heavy I'll prepare a bit of an outline first, but I'm not generally big on outlines. When I go to write, I'm usually sitting on my bed or couch with my laptop. I tried having music on or ambient sounds, but honestly I work better in silence. I think of the scene I want to describe and the thoughts and feelings I want to convey and watch it as a film in my head, hearing the characters voice the dialogue. Then I put it all into words, if they behave that day and just come to me 😁 I first do a rough draft, trying not to edit too much as I go but just keeping going until I reach either the end of the story (in the case of a short-ish one-shot) or a good stopping point. Then once it's done I start editing, filling in details I left out, double checking things online and making various changes until I'm reasonably satisfied with it. At that point I'll send it over to my beta reader.

GT: Do you write about other characters or ships as well? If not, would you someday?

R: No, not really. Even if I include other Shameless characters, the focus is always on Ian and Mickey and their relationship. And I don't think I'll ever write about anyone else. I have a bit of a one-track mind when it comes to ships and fandoms. I can only really focus on one at a time, and even if I love lots of other shows and media, I don't feel the need to create for them, or be all that involved. I think that, beyond my fascination with Ian and Mickey as characters and as my all-time favourite ship, this fandom space and the community I share this passion with has a lot to do with my continued participation in it. I don't think I'd be still writing and posting fic if it wasn't for all the wonderful people that create and enjoy fanworks about Ian and Mickey alongside me. They're a huge part of what inspires me and motivates me to keep creating.

GT: Definitely. It's incredible to me how much the fandom has grown and changed, while still being welcoming.

What about OCs, do you have any? Do you create them based on real people or just whatever you need them for?

R: I only occasionally create OCs for specific purposes, though most often I try to cast other Shameless characters in the roles I need if possible. I had fun with Mr. Binckley in my most recent fic for GGE, The Ghost of Christmas Fuck You, and last year, again for GGE, I created two OC children for How I met your dad. I don't see myself using them for other fics in the future, though I really admire writers who can create fully fleshed out OCs and have them recur in more than one of their stories.

GT: What about reading fics, what makes you choose something to read (and what would make you give up on reading something)?

R: I usually trust authors I already know and love, and who tend to write the sort of fics I go for anyway. But I'll give any story a chance if the premise sounds intriguing. So a good summary will draw me in, for sure. I love any kind of meet-cute or meet-ugly, and enemies or friends-to-lovers. I'll read fluff, smut or angst depending on my mood, but always with a happy ending. I like any sort of AU, but I steer away from fantasy in general, and prefer things set in the present day (though I do enjoy science fiction as a genre so space, time travel, etc. might attract me to a fic). I don't read a/b/o, mpreg or mcd. I'll give up on reading something if it's just a wall of text or riddled (and I do mean riddled) with typos. Also if I feel that something is written way too out of character to the point where I barely recognise them as Ian and Mickey.

GT: Can you name some of those authors you already know and love?

R: Sure! @goodkwuestion, @beckyharvey29, @damnnmilkovich, @gallavichy, @jellovich, devovitsuasartes and @crazynadine are some of my all-time favourites.

GT: What about some favorite fics?

R: You can bite me by Shamelessquestions, all comes down to you by BeckyHarvey29, Bad Date by @thevioletjones, the Southside Forever series by proval, You make me feel human by Dragona, Two of your earth minutes by @the-rat-wins, So Sleeping fucking Beauty, right? by @cjmarlowe, sideways by @whaticameherefor, Maintenance by devovitsuasartes, Love is a ballfield by and_i_take_it. There are many others, but these are some of the ones that have really stayed with me.

GT: Do you ever reread fics?

R: Oh yeah, I've definitely reread some of the ones above. I've been in a reading slump for a long while now though, which is why the fics I've mentioned are almost all older ones, and a lot of those writers aren't active anymore. There are so many amazing new authors writing brilliant fics at the moment, but often I end up just reading snippets of their work or their drabbles on Tumblr, so that's why I haven't mentioned them here. I've got so many incredible fics to catch up on! But brains are weird like that, you know?

GT: Oh, I totally get that! What about your own, do you reread those?

R: Not often. I tend to publish something and then not look at it again, focusing on the next project instead. There's a little bit of a cringey feeling for me when I think about rereading my own fics, but then when I do happen to read a bit of one I'm like 'Hey. This is good, actually. I do not remember writing this, but wow. Good job, me.' 😆

GT: You make gifs too, right? Have you ever made a gifset for a fic, yours or someone else's?

R: Yep! I've made a single gif for my most recent fic, The Ghost of Christmas Fuck You, and also for an older one, Ready to do this. I really want to make gifs/graphics for my fics more often in the future, actually. And I once made a gifset inspired by a quote from Cooperative gameplay by grayola.

GT: Do you make moodboards or playlists when planning a fic?

R: Hmm not really. I sometimes look up images to help me visualise a particular scene, but it's not a regular habit of mine.

GT: Let's talk about Shameless. You said you binged the first 8 seasons? That must have been a wild ride.

R: Haha oh, yeah. I remember watching the first 5 seasons in just one week, then slowing down considerably for s6 and s7, and I think season 8 took me a full month to get through. At that point s9 was a couple of months away, and I alternated between a faint hope for some kind of reunion between Ian and Mickey and just bitter disappointment for the state of the show such as it was at that stage. I absolutely died when the prison reunion happened. I watched that scene on a loop for days, and when I came back up for air I went looking for all the fics I could find. Especially ones set in prison or detailing their life after prison, since I was so convinced they were off the show for good. But of course that's not how it went. What a wild ride indeed! Those days were so crazy for me lol

GT: How did it feel to come into such a large, albeit somewhat asleep at the time, fandom?

R: It was weird because I wasn't on Tumblr at the time. I'd had a blog before but then left for a few years and once I got into Shameless I didn't immediately come back to it. I looked up news about the show on Reddit of all places. Then around the time I started reading fic, I found a little blog called gallavichthings ❤️ where I caught up on all the meta that had been written over the years (and gifsets and art and everything else). I only made my new blog when s10 was about to start, right around the time I posted my first fic on AO3. And at that point the fandom was being revived by I&M being on the show again and by the news that they'd be getting married by the end of season 10. It was my first real experience of being active in a fandom like this, so it was pretty wild for me. It was definitely not as nice and chill as it is nowadays, that's for sure.

GT: Awn, I'm glad to be part of your Gallavich journey. 

Are you able to select a favorite season, seeing as you saw them kind of all together?

R: Oof the earlier seasons are all so special in their own ways. But when I got to season 4, the grip this show had on me had reached the highest levels. Despite Ian being gone for so much of it, or maybe because of it, since his absence was so deeply felt and instrumental for us to see sides of Mickey we hadn't seen before. I'm a sucker for some good pining. And then the second half of the season was such a rollercoaster of emotions... Ugh. Plus it was also an amazing season for the other characters (Fiona especially, who I love so much). So dark and intense, and it felt like a more 'adult' season than previous ones. It just hurt so good.

GT: What's your favorite episode overall?

R: It's hard to choose a favourite, but I think ep 4x11, Emily.

GT: Oh, that's a fantastic one! What about a favorite scene?

R: Maybe the s5 dugouts scene in 5x10. The way it's filmed, the lighting, the music, the rawness of the emotions... it hurts like hell to watch them hurt each other, but then there's that sense of release, and of new hope when they're finally on the same page again and happy... and then it gets taken away from them, because we can't have nice things. But that scene is such a little gem, and it never fails to make me feel all the feels.

GT: If you could go back and change only one thing about the show, what would you change?

R: The quality drop in the later seasons? lol. Honestly, as happy as I am that we got to see Ian and Mickey get married and be husbands, the show was just unrecognisable by the end. So I'd have it end sooner. Have the s7 finale be the final episode of the show, but with a happy ending for Ian and Mickey, obviously.

GT: Speaking of, what did you think of the ending?

R: I wish I could say I was satisfied with it, but yeah, no. It was way too open ended, I only liked where they left things for Ian and Mickey, and I should count myself lucky for that, really. The parallels they tried to do with the pilot and season 1 mostly fell flat for me, but then, like I said, the show was a shadow of its former self by that point. There was too little left to enjoy for me. I don't think I would've watched s10 and 11 at all if it wasn't for Ian and Mickey.

GT: How do you headcanon Ian and Mickey's life together after the ending?

R: I think they live in that apartment for a couple years, then get a house closer to where they grew up. They keep in touch with family and spend holidays with the other Gallaghers. They get a pet or two, and eventually adopt or foster kids, a few years down the line. Mickey takes over the security business, while Ian finds a way to use his medical training again to help the community. They'll be happy, safe and in love for the rest of their lives. ❤️

The happily ever after they deserve.

GT: Well, that's it from me. Thank you so much for your time! Now leave a message to those reading this.

R: This was great, thank you! And thanks to everyone in this little corner of the Internet. Whether you create or simply enjoy creations and support them, you are a vital part of something really special. Thank you for being on this ride with me, and here's to another year full of ideas, events, collaborations, and lots and lots of fun!

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning!  I hope you slept well and feel rested?  Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day.

I had to be disciplined yesterday.  (And not in a good way.)  I had lots of work to do and strict deadlines, so no fannying about!  Fannying about was out!  I buckled down, concentrated and got the job done!  Bravo, Baldy Bill (from Harlesden Hill!)  As a treat, and as we had both Chinese and Indian food left over, we stuffed our faces again!  (Like we need an excuse!)

With age comes experience.  That’s not to say that all middle-aged people are intelligent.  Some stop learning from an early age and live in relative ignorance for the rest of their lives.  Me?  I keep learning.  You’re never too old to learn.  I love learning.  I am constantly changing and adapting.  Although I’m still the same old Lindsay, I am always on that learning curve.  Some people are saying the same things, doing the same things and living the same way they did 30 and 40 years ago!  I’m sure you see those people every weekend!  (And you have the same conversations with them!)  After many years of not seeing me, some people will say, “Lindsay, you haven’t changed a bit!”  If only they knew.  I am very different.  I derive happiness from different places, I derive contentment in different ways.  I am so different.  When I was younger, I wasn’t sure if I was clever or talented.  Now I’m older, I know that I am!  

I’m not sure we’ll be watching ‘Derry Girls’ again!  The Trouble was laughing so hard, the food went down the wrong way and she nearly coughed-up her guts!  I can barely understand what they’re saying but I get the gist.  I know it’s billed as a ‘comedy’ but there should be some kind of ‘health warning’ before you start watching.  I almost lost my wife!  I think our love affair with Ireland began when we went to Dublin for a wedding and The Trouble and her twin sister got chased down the road by the locals because they thought they were an American soul act!

Have a throbbing and thrusting Thursday (with hopefully a few thrills through your thoroughfare?)  I love you all.

[potter-inthe-tardis]

Hi okay it's me again. I started watching the bear and it's really good (although it's makin me stressed how stressed they are) The other two i will come to next, intriguing. I could have specified I'm only into fiction shows and not really stuff like Taskmaster but it sounds like you enjoy it which is cool. I remain open to any other suggestions!

Hello! I'm glad you're watching The Bear, yeah I think the show was made to stress people out lol! I would say even if you think it wouldn't be your thing, even just give a short clip from Taskmaster a chance its worth it, but thats the lasts ill push that. Other fiction shows is still a super broad category but let me think.

It's really popular right now, so you've possibly already seen it, or at least heard about it, but I'm lowkey obsessed with it at the moment so I have to mention it and that's Bridgerton. If you're unfamiliar its a romance/drama show in a stylized regency era. I really love it, but I would say skip season 1 and go right to season 2, its the better season. Like I will warn some people act like its regency porn, which its not, but there are some sex scenes that are a little more graphic then a lot of shows show, so just so you know if thats not your thing, but they're easy to fast forward through.

Lowkey inspired by the last suggestion, is Derry Girls, their is an actress in both this and Bridgerton that I'm a big fan of, so I've been rewatching this of recent. Its a comedy about a group of high school girls in Derry, Ireland in the 90s, and their teen mischief while in the background is the troubles going on in the country. And its a really funny show, great characters, and if your like me you will be trying to copy their accents cuz they're amazing.

School Spirits, it's a teen drama/mystery about a girl who becomes a ghost, and she's trying to discover how this happened to her, with the help of other ghosts shes meets and a living friend of hers who can somehow see her. I got really hooked on this show when I first saw it, and I need it's second season asap. I will say there is potentially triggering content so I'd recommend looking into that first if thats a concern.

Extraordinary, omg I don't know why I didn't think of this one sooner or for the first list, but it's another show I was hooked on when I first saw it. It's a comedy, where everyone has a super power except for our protagonist, and we see how she deals with that/her trying to discover her power somehow. It's a lot of fun to watch, some characters have absolutely ridiculous powers, where you think they'd probably be better off without a power.

I hope you maybe like some of these please do come back and tell me any thoughts you have on them if you check any out!

[zalrb]

Omg you're watching big mood! I just finished it, and I'm so in awe of nicola coughlan - the girl seriously needs some dramatic roles! And honestly the chemistry between her and lydia west is certainly wayyy better than the chemistry eddie has with her ~romantic prospects. What did you think of the first season?

I figured she would be a really good dramatic actress based on Derry Girls, even though it's a comedy, but Claire's high-strung, neurotic humour had me like, yeah she can act so it was really great to see her in Big Mood.

Even though both are shows about millennials, I was telling initium that it reminds me of a younger Fleabag and then the episode I was watching had the Fleabag references and I was like ha, yeah, that makes sense.

I found Eddie and Maggie interesting because from the first episode, they do a lot to show that they're best friends, they have keys to each other's apartments, I believe the wallpaper on Maggie's phone is of a young Eddie, right? the way that Eddie has Maggie tackled when she tries to leave the party, and yet I was like I objectively believe this friendship but I also feel like something is missing and then the Pagan episode happened and shifted briefly with their forehead touches and the quick peck and I was like, oh, THIS, I believe. This I buy. They're meant to be a couple.

I liked the show overall. I thought there were some great gems in the dialogue. As we've discussed, Nicola brought so much emotional nuance to Maggie as a character and there were certain shots that really stayed with me like when Eddie tells Maggie that she needs her and the perspective shifts back to Maggie and she's suffering from the lithium side effects and says "I'm in a really good place right now." Showing that Maggie is struggling but also showing her irresponsible behaviour i.e. attempting to exploit a teenager for work.

At the same time, I thought it was a little uneven. I said that it was like a younger Fleabag because I don't think the writing is as fully realized as Fleabag, like I don't think it's as involved and meticulous that it sometimes came across as not immature but not quite matured if that makes sense. Like, I felt like I could've known Maggie more. Nicola does a lot of heavy lifting but I think we could delve into Maggie's motivations and interiority a bit more. I think I can objectively understand her resistance to letting people know something is going on with her when she starts having the hallucinations but I think we could know her better so we can also see things from her perspective instead of simply seeing what's going on with her vs. what's going on with Eddie. Eddie was also a little all over the place for me as a character. But a lot of this is also first season bumps, I think.

[eleanorblue]

We saw Kinky Boots last week, and friends, never in my life have I cried that hard during a musical.

Spoilers for Kinky Boots, Derry Girls, Stranger Things, and, uh, Pokémon Violet?

We bought the tickets like three months ago, and then three days before the show I suddenly thought “Hm, isn’t there a part where Lola sings to her dying estranged father?“

I looked it up, and there is in fact that part! Not only that, Charlie’s dad dies in like the first five minutes and one of the themes of the musical is Charlie filling his dad’s shoes (lol) and trying to make him proud/do what he wants with his life/be like him/not be like him.

“Gee,” I thought. “Better warn my brother. That might bring up some stuff.” But the tickets were expensive, particularly for a regional theatre, so off we went anyway.

So we got through most of the musical, and I was enjoying it (great show!), and I was a little on edge due to all the Dad™️ stuff but it was okay, and I knew we were coming to the Hard Part…and then LAUREN came out and started talking about how she felt when her dad died, and all I could think was “Jesus Christ, is everyone’s dad in this show dead??” That’s about when I started crying.

Right after that seen is Lola’s song to her estranged dad. If you don’t know it, it’s called “Hold Me In Your Heart” and it’s essentially about loving a difficult parent despite their flaws and needing them to love you too. I’d look it up. It’s worth a listen.

So Lola sang her song, and I actually full-out cried through it (I tried to be quiet, but I’m sure the people behind me noticed and goodness knows what they thought was wrong with me). Then a light came up on her dad sitting in a wheelchair, pretty zoned out. Lola walked over to him, says “It was good to see you, Daddy,” and put her hand on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything, didn’t really react, but then his hand came up to cover hers.

Lola visibly choked up, said “I love you,” and then left.

My brother and I didn’t, like, perform a drag show for our dying estranged dad. But, uh, the non-responsiveness? The hand coming up? THAT WAS KINDA LIKE WATCHING OUR GOODBYE WITH OUR DAD ONSTAGE.

So I was pretty much gone, and couldn’t really enjoy the finale.

My brother was…okay. He handled it better than I did, and he squeezed my hand throughout the entire scene. We react to different things.

The show was fantastic, by the way. Excellent cast. Lauren was amazing. I wish I had a recording of her song. It just so happened to be deeply personally triggering for me!

I feel like media is full of dead dads lately. I watched Season 3 of Derry Girls? SURPRISE, A DAD DIES! I played Pokémon Violet, a children’s game? SURPRISE, THE ESTRANGED DAD IS ACTUALLY DEAD! I got caught up on Seasons 3 and 4 of Stranger Things? SURPRISE HOPPER IS DEAD* AND OH LOOK ELEVEN FOUND A LETTER HE WROTE FOR HER BEFORE HE DIED! I went to see Kinky Boots! SURPRISE, EVERYONE’S DAD IS DEAD OR DYING!

Or maybe it’s just the frequency illusion. I think about dead dads (well, really one specific dead dad) a lot, I notice dead dads more.

There’s not really a point to this wall of text. Kinky Boots is a great show. Grief is weird. I should maybe avoid musicals with estranged-dead-dad-goodbye scenes.

Which is too bad, as I’d really like to see Fun Home.

*yes I know he's not dead that's not the point

[editorandchief]

Hi! May I please request a ficlet in which adult Bill Denbrough and fem!Reader (who was part of the Losers Club) get married and the first thing Bill and Reader remember at the same time while in Derry to defeat Pennywise was when Reader tells Bill (when they’re kids) that she’s gonna marry him someday? (I love fluff.)

Tears and Mint Tins | Bill BenBrough

Bill DenBrough walk through the wood heading towards the club house, hoping to meet up with the rest of his friends. Unfortunately for him when he climbed down into the dirt covered walls of the hideout he was met with a small smile from Y/N L/N.

"Oh hey Billy." She greeted waving her hand in excitement. "Guess it just us here, great minds right?" She asked walking over to him.

Moving to the side Bill made it to the other side of the room avoiding being any closer to the girl. 

"It's Bill, and what do you mean? Where's everyone else?" He asked.

"Well you know Richie and Stan had some church thing to do, and Mike said he had chores all day on the farm, Eddie's mom if being...well Eddie's mom and Ben is probably at the library or something." She informed walking closer to him once again.

"And Bev?" Bill asked noticing the she had left out the red headed girl from her list of information.

"Umm," Y/N said turning to face away from the boy looking around the small room. "I'm not sure about Beverly." She said pulling on her shirt. 

"Oh, well I'm gonna head home." He said awkwardly walking back towards the latter.

"Wait." She called out to him causing him to stop in his tracks." Can't we just hang out together?" She asked looking hopefully to the boy.

"Maybe another time." He muttered as he began climbing up the latter. A loud crash causing his to turn, seeing Y/N sitting in the ground holding her leg. "Are you okay?" He asked jumping from the latter and rushing over to her.

Kneeling down to inspect the seriousness of her injury. All of the sudden Y/N lets go of her leg before grabbing Bill's hand and slipping a silver ring on it. The ring was far to big for his finger as it dangled from his finger. Y/N moved her hand next to his showing him a similar one loosely hanging from hers as well.

"There, We'll be married one day anyways we should start wearing the rings now." She explained with a bright smile." I won them from a coin machine at the arcade." 

Looking up at the girl her smile was met with a glare from the DenBrough boy before he yanks off the ring and throws it across the room."

Shock and hurt flashed across her face as she realizes what he had done, she rushed over in the direction of the objects.

"Why would you do that I thought you were hurt." Bill said watching as she scrabbled around in search of the ring.  

"It was just a joke Billy, I wanted to give the ring to you but you were leaving." She sniffled still looking around.

"It's Bill." He gritted out. "And another thing I don't want your ring, all I want is for you to stop saying you like me, stop following my around all the time, just stop." He ranted watching as she pauses before rushing over and picking up the small silver object. 

"Why?" Y/N asked raising from the ground, tears sliding down her cheeks. "Because you like Beverly? I saw you kiss her." 

Shaking his head Bill scoffed at the girl before once again heading to the exit. "It's not about liking Bev, I just don't like you." He said before climbing up and out of the hideout. 

As he walked away Bill could hear Y/N sobbing as she screamed after him.

"I'm not gonna wait for you forever Bill DenBrough." She screamed. "And then you'll be sorry, cause it will be too late." 

Using her sleeve to wipe her tears away you looked around spotting an empty Altoids tin, picking it up she placed the ring inside. Sliding the ring from her finger she placed it next to his before digging a small hole in the wall and forcing the container inside. Grabbing some dirt she packed it into any left over space around her treasure. 

[<_>]

 Looking up at his wife as she stared at the rings in the old mint tin Bill couldn't help but still feel guilty remembering the sound of her heartbroken sobs. 

"You were right." Bill said causing Y/N to look up at him, Pulling the rings from the box he left it fall from his hand in favor of grabbing hers. "I am very sorry for that day." He said sliding the ring onto her finger just above her wedding ring. 

A smiles spreads across her face as she take the other ring from him before doing the same with the identical ring. "At least I didn't have to wait forever." 

They both let out a small laugh at the memory.

Bill placed his hand on her neck gently pulling her in, placing a kiss on her forehead.

[just-jordie-things]

A Lover And A Fighter - Richie Tozier

word count: 3122 warnings: swearing, sight sexual harassment summary: Richie promised (y/n) that he wouldn’t get into fights anymore, but sometimes he just can’t help himself.  Especially when it comes to protecting her.

___

It was an understatement to say that Richie was protective of you.  The boy was downright insane about it.  Everyone in Derry knew not to fuck with (y/n), not unless they wanted Richie Tozier tracking them down and beating them half to death.

You’d given him a talk numerous times.  But not once did they work, it always went in one ear and out the other..

He’d beaten up three ex boyfriends, a couple guys that looked at you the wrong way, and Greta Keene.  He was proud of that amount.

But he’d promised that he would try his best not to act out on your behalf anymore.  And you made him pinky promise.  That’s a big deal.  And he didn’t want to break your trust or your promise.

However… once he walked past Henry Bowers and his dumbass friends, and heard your name being mentioned, he couldn’t stop himself from getting involved.

“What was that?” He spoke before he could think things through.

The boys turned to him, each bearing a scowl that wasn’t out of character.

“I said, (y/n’s) not fucking worth it,” Henry practically growled out.  “Now why don’t you fuck off, Tozier?”

“Your damn fucking right it’s not worth it,” Richie spat back, turning away, doing the right thing.  “I’d break your goddamn nose” He muttered under his breath.

“It’s not worth it to try and get in her pants,” Henry called out before Richie could walk far enough away.

He stopped in his tracks.

“Cause she’s such a slut anyways, it’s not a real victory to fuck-”

Richie had never whipped around so fast.  And with the punch he delivered went all common sense, and all the promises and reassurances he’d given you to prove he was going to ‘mature’ as you’d begged him to do. ___

“Hey, Richie,” You held your phone between your ear and shoulder as you painted your toes.  “This is like, my fifth message… so… call me back, I guess.  Okay, bye”

You sighed as you set the phone back on it’s holster.  Richie wasn’t the type of guy to stand you up, especially on taco tuesday.  And even if something came up, he always always, called.  But now he couldn’t even bother to return one of your calls, leaving you to assume that he was upset with you for some reason, and therefore ignoring you.

You weren’t sure what you did, and at this point, you also weren’t sure that he was going to tell you either.

When Richie didn’t want to talk to someone, he was the damn best at avoiding them.

But he’d never given you the cold shoulder.  And there was a time that you’d thought he never would.  Richie was your best friend, you trusted and confided in him more than anyone else, even the other Losers.  And in the last seven years of being his best friend, he’d never treated you this way.  In fact, he always treated you amazingly, like a princess, it was very surprising actually, the way he cared about you.

It was that care that always led him to picking fights where he shouldn’t be, though.  It started with your ex boyfriend.  He broke up with you once a ‘better, prettier’ girl showed interest (his words), and the next thing you knew, Richie was throwing him against the lockers.

When your next boyfriend straight up cheated on you, Richie took care of him too.

He broke the third one’s nose.

And then there was the Greta Keene incident… Beverly may have let it slip that Greta had been writing nasty rumors about you in the girls bathrooms.  And Richie declared that he didn’t have a problem beating up a girl if it was justified (and if that girl had man arms).  That was when you drew the line, and made Richie swear to try and control his anger.  And he pinkie promised to work on it, and that he wouldn’t get into any more fights over you.

You weren’t sure why he got so enraged over these things.  It was just drama, and you found it pointless that he tried to bring you justice, since he was so reckless about it.

It was getting late, and you knew that Richie wasn’t going to return your calls.  So you finished painting your toenails blue, and decided to spend the night in your room, reading, alone.

Even though you should have been eating a bunch of tacos and gossiping with Richie.

Just as you got situated in bed, and had turned off the overhead light in exchange for the soft glow of your lamp on the bedside table, there was a knock on the window.

When you glanced over, you could tell it was Richie by his silhouette, and you frowned slightly.

Nonetheless, you got up and unlocked the window, before sliding it open.

“Where the hell have you been?” You asked.

He could tell that you couldn’t see his face very well.

“Busy, you gonna let me in?” He grinned.

“Richie, it’s-” You glanced over your shoulder to the alarm clock on your table, before glaring back at him.  “-midnight.  Are you kidding me? Did I do something to piss you off?”

“What? (y/n/n), no-”

“Then how come you were dodging all my calls? And you’re seven hours late?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest..

Richie crawled in through the window, even though you hadn’t invited him in yet.  But he figured it was only a matter of time before you cave anyways.

Your distressed face disappeared as you caught sight of him now that he was in the light.  His left eye was bruising, and so was his right cheekbone.  Along with a split lip and a bloody nose, it was clear what had happened.

“Oh, Richie…” You mumbled, hand reaching up to cover your mouth as your eyes widened at the sight of him.  “Tell me you didn’t-”

“Look it’s not what you think-” Richie tried to protest.

“Don’t give me that shit”

He knew he fucked up, because you weren’t yelling.  Your voice was soft, and low.  You were heartbroken.

He stared down at the ground, too anxious to look at you anymore.  Not when you looked so disappointed in him.  

“You promised- you-you pinky promised me-”

“I know-! I know and I’m sorry, really, I’m really fucking sorry” He told you, desperately hoping that you’d forgive him.

You shook your head at him, and gestured for him to sit before you left the room.  Richie was the most frustratingly complicated person that you knew, and it drove you insane.  Why he couldn’t just walk away and not beat the shit out of people… you weren’t sure.  But it really hurt you that he didn’t even seem to try, and he broke his promise.

Richie was sitting on the side of your bed when you came back into the room.  He chuckled as he eyed the first aid kit in your hands, the same one that you’ve used the last four or five times you dealt with the aftermath of his episodes of rages.

“You don’t have t-”

“Yes I do” You cut him off and unpacked what you’d need.

You were upset, you were fuming, actually.  It angered you that Richie broke his promise, not even a month after making it.  That promise was important to you, because he was important to you.  And now here he was, waiting to be fixed up by you once again after he so stupidly, so recklessly got himself beaten to a pulp.

But no matter how angry you were, you remained silent.  Dabbing at the excess blood under his nose, which at least wasn’t bleeding anymore.  And when you were finished with his cheek, you moved on to rubbing cream over the bruise on his cheek.  Richie’s eyes fell shut as he sighed in relief at the feeling of the cool lotion, and your gentle fingers.

He knew your silence wasn’t a good thing.  In fact, it was the worst thing.  It meant he messed up beyond redemption.  And he’d never fucked up that bad before.  Sure, he’d pissed you off and frustrated you on the daily, but that was just the hallmark of his friendship, and it was never anything serious.  Just when he dragged you out in the middle of the night for slushies, or got you in trouble in class because he was running his mouth.  He’d never made you this genuinely upset before.

“(y/n)-”

“Save it” You muttered before he could even start with the apologies.

That was another hallmark of his friendship.  You knew what came next.  The apologies, the excuses, the begging for your forgiveness, followed by a playful ‘you know you love me, you need me’ and puppy dog eyes that you couldn’t refuse.  Except tonight, you might just be able to.

He took you by surprise when he didn’t protest, and snapped his mouth shut.  Your eyes met his for a moment, before you started applying a smaller amount of lotion on the bruise surrounding his eye.  It was going to look a lot worse in the morning, but this would help with the pain now.

You hated that your heart ached for him right now.  You hated that you wanted to cry and hold him and make him feel better.  Because you were so fucking mad-

“I don’t understand,” The words suddenly spilled out of your mouth, as if your mind just couldn’t take them swimming around in your head anymore.  “I just- I- I don’t fucking get it”

He nodded, ducking his head down, only for you to lift it back up by his chin and continue with the lotion.

“I care about you, dumbass, and all I asked, which I thought was simple, all I asked was for you to stop with the fighting-”

“I know” He mumbled back.

You stared at him skeptically, wondering if he really did know, or if he’d show up again in a few weeks with the same battered face and guilty look in his eyes.  Richie didn’t look back at you.  He couldn’t.

“Who?” You asked, trying to soften your voice so he wouldn’t whither away from you like he was doing right now.

“You’re not gonna like it” Richie answered, fingers pinching at your bedsheets in an attempt to distract himself.  From the pain that burned across his whole face, or from the intensity in your eyes, he wasn’t sure, but he needed the distraction.

He hadn’t had a smoke in months, but it sounded pretty damn good right now.

“Well, newsflash, I don’t like any of this,” You told him.  “But I think I deserve to at least know what happened”

Of course you do, Richie hung his head in his hands.  You deserve so, so much better.

You watched as he rubbed his palms over his eyes, and it took everything in your power not to take his hands and hold them in yours, to tell him it was okay and you forgave him.

“Bowers”

He muttered the single word without even looking at you.  But he didn’t have to look at you to know exactly what you looked like in that moment.  You probably had a dropped jaw and furrowed brows.  Disappointment, disgust, anger, all displayed in one heartbreaking look.

“Richie…” You murmured without meaning to.  “Why? Why would you-”

“I had to, okay?” He shot up suddenly.  “I know that you hate it, and as soon as I swung I- I knew I fucked up, but I had to”

You wanted to argue it, argue that there’s always another option, that he can always walk away.  But you bit your tongue.  Something about the way he spoke told you that there was more to this than his stupidity.

“I’m sorry, (y/n/n), I am.  But I… I don’t regret it”

Your heart sunk all the way down to your stomach.  Richie had such a toll on your emotions and he didn’t even know it.

“Tell me what happened” You said quietly, and shifted closer to him.

You wanted him to know he had your undivided attention, and that he should have the chance to at least explain what happened.  You pulled your leg up to rest on the mattress, and turned your body to face him.

Richie looked at you before looking back down at his hand, which was now fisted in your blankets.

“Richie,” You hummed, brows furrowing as you saw how reluctant he was to opening up.  “Tell me” The words were so soft, it was almost inaudible.

You wondered what Henry could have done that Richie didn’t want to tell you about.  He must have really outdone himself.

“He was just talking shit-”

“Richie,” You cut off his bullshit before he could even start.  “Come on, the truth”  

“It’s not-”

“I deserve to know, Tozier! Whatever it is, I don’t care, okay? Just tell me-”

“He said you weren’t worth sleeping with!”

Just like that, you’d gotten him to snap.

And you shut up instantly, shocked by the outburst.  His words processed slowly in your head.

“He said it wasn’t worth trying because you’re- because you’re a slut, and it wasn’t fucking true!” Richie continued to yell.  Not at you, he just couldn’t contain his own anger anymore.

And you thought you were pissed.

“Motherfucker had your name in his nasty fucking mouth and he was telling his buddies fucking lies and I couldn’t- fuck I couldn’t walk away.  I should’ve fucking killed him”

You were staring at him, speechless.  You should’ve known it was about you, Richie was always so fiercely protective of you.  And Henry’s wouldn’t be the first nose that he’d broken protecting you.  But this wasn’t like before.  He’d beaten on your ex boyfriends after they broke your heart.  Henry hadn’t said or done anything to you, he was just doing what boys do.  (Make shit up because they think it makes them impressive when really they’re even shittier than they look)

“I didn’t mean to break your promise,” Richie huffed.  His face was slightly flushed after his mini tantrum.  His hands grabbed both of yours, holding them close to him.  “I’m so sorry I put you through this again”

You were still silent, but he knew this wasn’t a bad silence.  You were still processing, still trying to figure out how to forgive him while making sure this was the last time he crawls through your window looking like this.

“I hope you know that it came from a place of- of caring about you,” He added.  “Caring about you too much, I guess” He mumbled as an afterthought.

Your stupid lovesick heart skipped a beat at the sweet words.  Richie wasn’t one for words, at all, but he somehow managed to say the most loving things without even realizing it.

“I can’t promise it won’t happen again, that much is clear.  And if Bowers says one more goddamn thing about your ass I’ll fucking string him up- I will- but I can promise I’ll try, okay? I will, I’ll really try”

He squeezed your hands a little bit, hoping you believed him, hoping you trusted him.

Your eyes flickered between his for a moment, and you could see in them that he was being sincere, and that he was broken up over hurting you.

“You…” He started to speak, but trailed off unsurely.  “You deserve better” He finished.

His eyes flickered to yours for a brief moment, before he turned away.

You shake your head, before you let go of one of his hands, and took his chin between your thumb and index finger, turning him to look back at you.

“(y/n/n)-”

You cut him off when you leaned in and gently kissed him, trying to be mindful of his split lip.

Richie’s eyes remained focused on your closed ones, too stunned to close them, or really kiss her back.

He wanted to kick himself when you pulled away.  He managed to miss his fucking chance because he was too slow to do anything about it.

Your eyes fluttered open in such a beautiful way Richie swore you were holding his heart in your perfect little hands.

His brows were furrowed like you’d confused him, and you absolutely had.  He hadn’t expected you to kiss him.

“Why’d you do that?” He asked breathlessly, and your cheeks burned pink.

Your shoulders raised a bit in a shrug, and you had to bite your lip to keep from smiling too much.

“I just… wanted to” You whispered.

A smile twitched on the corner of Richie’s lips before his hand cupped your cheek, and he pulled you in again, so he could kiss you right this time.

Your lips were just as soft, if not softer, than he’d imagined they’d be.  And he’d imagined countless times what they’d feel like.  Daydreaming in class, before he fell asleep, and being right by your side for the last seven years.

Kissing you was bliss.

He did it again, taking your face in both of his hands and pulling you impossibly closer.  He could feel your lips smiling against his own, and once again, his heart was beating out of his chest trying to get to yours.

“I’m in love with you, (y/n/n)” He murmured when you parted, and you laughed softly.

“That makes sense,” You replied, reaching a hand up to play with the curls on the back of his neck.  “And… I love you too”

Richie gave you a sunshine smile, which you couldn’t help but return.

“I’m still upset, by the way,” You told him, still playing with the curls.  “But only cause I’m tired of seeing you covered in bruises, okay?”

He nodded, and you leaned your cheek further against the palm of his hand.

“I promise to try” He said, and then raised his pinky.

You looked from his hand and then back to him, a slight glare in your eyes.

“Come on, just do it,” He urged, you rolled your eyes, but he was persistent.  “Just link fuckin’ pinkies with me”

With a giggle you hooked your pinky with his, and held it for a moment.

“You want to go get tacos now?” He asked, and you grinned, nodding your head.

“You read my mind” You answered, and followed him back out the window.

It dawned on you that Richie was both your lover and your fighter.  And he held those titles proudly.

As he took your hand and walked alongside you down the street, he decided there were no other title he’d want to be labeled, besides yours. ___

taglist: @thegr8kush​

xoxo ~ jordie

[areseebee]

If you’re still doing the fic writing meme, could you do POV for smoke break?

hello anon! yes, i will absolutely do more of the fic writing meme (in reference to this from a couple of weeks ago). this was a fun one btw, so thank you for asking.

here's james's POV in my derry girls fic Smoke Break, starting at the end of chapter 2 through mid-chapter 3 (or from michelle's flat to the awkward dublin conversation).

be warned, there are 2.7k largely unedited words below the cut.

It is really so fucking hot in Michelle’s flat. The one thing that James has always liked about Derry is the moderate temperatures. London was fine, too, usually. But the urban sprawl lent itself to warm summers and cold winters, and James doesn’t like to deal in extremes.

How he ended up with these four as his friends gives him some pause in this regard, but there are always exceptions to rules.

His shirt sticking sweatily to his back or not, he still would have been miserable – or something close to miserable – because Erin walked in wearing the shortest skirt. It’s just a movie night, didn’t she know it was a movie night? He thought he’d mentioned it was a movie night; he’d been tasked with renting the videos. She doesn’t seem like she knows, because that is only a skirt that he expects girls wear when they want someone to look at them in it.

He is happy to acquiesce, but he isn’t sure she wants him to. He’s never sure with her.

Anyway, the night is fine, even if it is really so hot in here, and he considers for a moment taking up smoking just to have an excuse to go outside with Erin and Michelle; it’s probably better for him to stay here with Orla and Clare anyway, he hardly ever gets to see them anymore. He still watches them from his spot on the floor, though, and he notices when Michelle slips into the neighbour’s flat and doesn’t follow Erin out.

Well, she needs company then. She’s outside all alone.

When he stands up, he feels the drinks for the first time, really feels them. He should have some water when he gets back, but it’s fine for now, it’s not too bad, it’s actually right in that sweet buzzing spot that he always wishes he could make last all night. It’s a dangerous spot; it’s easy to chase it with more drinks, trying to extend it, but that’s always a bad idea. He just has to accept that he’s feeling it now, and let it run its course to its inevitable hungover end.

But it makes it easy for him to go outside. Though, it’s probably not the drinks that make it easy to go outside. James could be stone cold sober and would still be walking this path down the stairs and around the corner.

He can’t really help himself, not with her. Maybe he had tried to stay away for the summer, had tried to convince himself it would be better that way, not to disrupt where his life was now, but it was probably inevitable to end up back here, in Derry. Even if he hadn’t lost his flat, he probably still would have landed here, once he knew that Erin wouldn’t be staying in Belfast. He couldn’t help himself.

She doesn’t seem surprised to see him, thank God. Or, if she is, she still seems pleased. She’s always seeming pleased when he shows up anywhere she’s at these days. It’s been making him think – well, it’s been making him think a lot of things. Things that he probably shouldn’t be thinking.

It seems like she really likes to have him around, and if she’s going to let him then he’s not going to miss out. But it sort of keeps surprising him. He thought she’d tell him to stop coming into her work by, like, the third time he did it, but she never did. And once when he’d missed a day, she seemed almost mad, accusatory. Well, if she was going to act that way about it then it really made everything very simple. He never missed a day after that.

He has to stop himself wondering all the time if it means something. Because it’s Erin, and things don’t seem to mean what he thinks they mean with her. She’ll say something, and he’ll think – 

She looks at him a lot these days. He catches her. And that probably says just as much about him because he wouldn’t be catching her if he wasn’t looking too.

He’s not sure if it’s because he’s been gone for so long, but things feel different. Like maybe she –

He hates that she’s actually out here smoking, but he gets it. It’s different when you’re drinking. He hates that she smokes those fucking things, but it’s kind of mesmerizing to watch it, the way she’s so delicate when she lifts it up to her mouth.

She’s really crap at blowing smoke rings, but it gives him an excuse to look at her mouth.

God, he’s blitzed. It’s more than he thought, but he’s just trying to focus, focus on her. It’s easy. Especially when she’s saying that she likes his hair even though Michelle keeps telling him it's minging like this. He wonders what it would feel like to have her hands in it.

She’s looking at him. He can tell he should be saying something, she’s looking at him like he should be saying something, but all he can think about is that he doesn’t really have anything to say, even though he does, he has so much to say. He has so much to say, but he can’t just say it.

He hates that she smokes, but he really likes that he gets this time with her – separate, apart. A few minutes when it’s just them. He likes that it means she gets to be here with him right now, her cheeks looking so pink and she’s just looking at him, and he’s looking back. And when she parts her lips – she’s going to say something, he really shouldn’t do this, it’s rude – all he can think about is how pretty they are.

And then he’s done it. He’s kissed her. He’s kissed her, and it’s been a year and, like, seven weeks exactly since he last kissed her, but it’s the first time he’s ever kissed her like this. And maybe he shouldn’t be doing this, but the more he does it, the more it feels like letting out an exhale he’d been holding in since he saw her the first time again.

Maybe he shouldn’t be doing this, but she’s doing it right back, and she’s making it really hard for him to be kind and not press her too hard up against the wall behind her. She’s doing this thing with her hands in his hair – it feels as good as he thought it would – and he can feel the hem of her skirt from where it’s touching the thigh he has wedged between her legs (God, the thought –) and she’s making these noises and he just wants to touch everywhere. But at least he can keep himself from doing that. He’s drunk, but he’s not that –

The thought doesn’t even finish because he hears “Erin?” and oh God, oh fuck, that’s Clare and this was such a bad, such a very bad – and Erin is pulling away, thank God, because he needs a second. What if she stays? What if Clare stays out here, and what if – well, he’s mostly annoyed because he wasn’t done yet.

He manages to make an appearance, and fortunately Clare goes back inside, which is good because James just wants to touch again. Which he does.

And then Erin is urging him to stop, but why stop? Why stop when she’s breathing out his name like that, like they’re not just snogging, like they’re –? Except she’s saying it again, and it registers as insistent and that is enough for him to stop.

He’s breathless and – and giddy and this is just the best, except – well she’s not really looking at him. She’s tugging awkwardly at her clothes like she wishes there was more to them, and she’s not looking at him. It’s ok, it’s probably for the best, he needs to get himself together.

She tries to reach up and touch him once, and he jerks back, and feels immediately bad about it, but, like – it would just be better if she didn’t.

Anyway, it’s starting to become distracting that she’s not looking at him, and it’s sobering – like actually sobering. And that’s when the anxiety sets in because she won’t look at him, and she seems, like, really uncomfortable and oh fuck, he really fucked this.

She didn’t ask him to come out here, she didn’t tell him to – he followed her out, she was just minding her own business until he – and they’ve been drinking and, God, how did he go from talking to this? He’d only been thinking about – well he knew what he’d been thinking about, but what feels more important was what he wasn’t thinking about which was whether or not she even wanted him to do this, any of this.

He has to say something, apologize. And so he does. And she says it’s ok, and she does finally look at him, but it doesn’t feel right, not at all. She still sits close to him when they go back inside, but it’s just not right.

He has trouble falling asleep that night. He’s so intensely aware that Erin is just there, like a foot away from him in bed. He should have just slept in the living room with Orla, but he’d remembered the bugs and he hadn’t been thinking (again) and now he was in here, so the most he could do was turn his back.

The next morning he is as hungover as he expected, but only half of it feels like the alcohol. When Clare tells him about her travel plans, she asks him when he’s going to come visit her, and “What about now?” just falls out of his mouth. She’s really pleased, and her ma will be happy to see him too, she’s got all sorts of things planned, but she won’t be able to take off work if that’s ok with him.

Fine, fine with him – he just needs to get out. He’ll only go to Dublin for a couple of days, but it’ll be good because he doesn’t think he can have the conversation yet with Erin. The conversation that he needs to have with her. And it’s the right thing to do to remove himself for a little bit. God, she couldn’t even look at him.

And when he’s in Dublin, he thinks all the time that it was a good idea. For the first couple of days, he knows it’s a good idea. They’re sightseeing, and when Clare is at work, James walks around on his own for hours which is great at first until he starts realizing that he’s cataloging all of the things he thinks Erin would like to do when she visits Clare later that summer. Like, has she ever seen Trinity Library? She would love it there, he keeps thinking she’d love it there.

At a certain point, like around day three, he starts to think morosely that he’s only putting off the inevitable.

And Clare keeps asking him weird questions, like if he’s seeing anyone in London. Or seeing anyone not in London. And he’s not really sure why she keeps asking because the answer is always no – she’d know already if it weren’t.

It’s day five when Clare asks him pointedly how much longer he’s planning to stay – he suspects he’s probably usurped someone else’s spot in her flat, someone who he knows he’ll hear all about as soon as Clare is ready to tell – and he buys his bus ticket back.

When he gets back home, he calls Michelle which he knows is probably pointless because she’s never home, but maybe he’ll catch her and he can just go see her instead of Erin. But it’s what he suspected – she doesn’t answer – and so he figures he’s got no other options left.

He steels himself to walk in the door for way longer than he should, and when he finally walks in she’s not even there at the front. He almost takes a step in the direction of the back – he knows she’s back there – but he stops, and finally just sits at the bar to wait.

He hears Michelle before he sees her, but his eyes are for Erin. Who is hardly even looking at him again. Oh God, he did really fuck it. Fuck.

It’s weird, but Michelle’s talking at least, until all of a sudden she’s leaving and, finally, Erin looks at him. She starts to talk, and she sounds fine, it feels fine, but he’s not sure he should be relieved, or if this is just a precursor to something else, something worse.

Even so, he needs to talk to her, and he’s glad when she says he can walk her home. It’s awkward, it’s so awkward – how does he even begin to start talking about this? So he takes up the first thread she offers.

He knows what he wants to say: he knows he messed up, he’s sick at the thought that she would feel like she needed to avoid him for any reason, he knows that she doesn’t want something with him, anything with him – she’s made that very clear – and he should never have tried to act any differently, to push any boundaries.

But he can only say it the way he’s saying right now, talking nonsense about Dublin. How the fuck did he start talking about Dublin, and he’s losing the thread of it – was she supposed to be Dublin, or…?

He finally gets it all out, says all the things he wants to say, and he’s preparing himself for what she’s going to say next. If she needs more time, whatever, whatever she wants.

And then she says – wait, what did she just say?

There is no fucking way she just said what he thought she said.

It feels out of body, the way he manages to say “I’d want that too.” He cannot believe the words are coming out of his mouth so easily like this.

But then she’s staring at him, open-mouthed, and he wants to scream at himself because all of a sudden he’s worried that he’s fucking this up again in real time. Had he learned absolutely nothing?

He’s misunderstood again, but he’s not going to leave, he’s going to fix it right now. He wants her to know – nothing serious. Like, really. If she’s saying what he thinks she’s saying, then he’s on board, and she doesn’t have to worry. Whatever she wants. She can kiss him again, that is fine, that is totally fine. If that’s what she wants.

He gets it. They’re 19. It’s ok. He gets it. It sounds nice, it sounds fun. He knows, he’s known for a long time, why she wouldn’t want anything more. They’re 19. Is this what she wants?

It is. She’s agreeing. It is. And James’s brain feels like it has just broken, the way he feels stunned like this while simultaneously trying to figure out how he can contrive for this to happen as soon as humanly possible.

He could kiss her right now, he could – he could invite her over. Deidre’s out. He already knows. She’s at work. And, God, he should really be embarrassed about this, stumbling over himself like this. And he needs to be careful. Because he’d said “nothing serious,” and he needed to act like nothing serious or he was going to scare her again, she was going to see right through him. She probably already could, but that – well that was just going to have to be ok with him because he can’t help it, not around her.

He can’t believe she’s saying yes, she never says yes to him. But maybe this was the key all along – nothing serious. He’s always asked, “do you want to?” and her response has always been “someday,” but maybe someday wasn’t ever coming, not the way he’d thought about it.

But that – that was ok. Because she’s agreeing. Like it’s nothing. 

Because it is nothing. Nothing serious. He has to remember that.

[gucciwins]

off the record

a small mishap and puppies

Word count: 4797

A/N: hello friends! i hope you're enjoying bel and harry's story so far. i am enjoying writing it and this part might have one of my favorite scenes i've written for them. do not fret there is more to come <3

please remember to reblog and let me know what you thought!

warnings: slight angst

love on tour series // previous part

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

It's been a few cities since you woke up alone. Harry liked having you close and spending time with you. He especially liked knowing he'd wake up and you'd be the first thing he saw.

Well, not this time.

You needed a moment alone after finding out that Harry's tour would no longer be ending in Los Angeles and instead be going on for an extra week through the day before Thanksgiving.

You weren't upset he added a new show because he did have to reschedule; you just didn't like finding out online when he clearly knew about it for some time. New work for you is not starting until the new year, and he happily assumed you'd be okay with joining, which you would be if he talked out. You don't always spend Thanksgiving with Naomi, but the plan this year had been set already.

As you lay in bed knowing you have to get up for your interview, you think back to your conversation with Harry.

A day off to stay in and sleep. That's all you wanted to do. No amount of begging would get you out of bed from watching movies and napping the day away. The constant travel has thrown you off, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy it.

Harry had told you he had work to do with Jeff and that he'd be back later so that both of you could have a late lunch together. You told him you'd be here, gesturing to the queen-sized bed you've been sharing, the vacant room across from you unused.

You had just finished another episode of Derry Girls, a favorite show of yours that you liked rewatching. Your phone had started going off a few minutes ago, and honestly, you wanted to ignore it, but something told you to check.

Naomi

Thanksgiving in Arkansas?

Arkansas, what did she mean by that. You'd be going to her this year, unlike last year where you spent it in France alone with your crew who did not celebrate even less when in another country.

You go onto Instagram hoping that'd give you answers, and the answer is looking at you with a post from Harry's team stating the rescheduled Houston show and a new show in Little Rock, Arkansas. That is what Naomi meant with her text.

You sat there on the hotel bed, feeling confused. Harry clearly knew what he was announcing today but did not bring it up once. He did not ask if you would be okay with an extra week past Los Angeles as he had initially told you. You weren't mad he had more shows; no, of course not you were proud of him. His tour was so loved by all, and if he could give it to others, who were to say anything.

As somebody with family expecting you home for the first time in months, that was something you needed to wrap your head around that you would not be seeing them until after the holiday because you wouldn't dare try to get a flight during that week knowing the prices were spiked up three times their average prices. Thanksgiving week was the worst week to travel, and you've learned that the hard way a few years ago.

You decided to text Naomi back.

Y/N

would it be weird to say i just found out? xx

Naomi

Very.

He didn't bring it up?

Y/N

no. xx

Naomi

You're upset.

Y/N

yeah, but we'll talk it out. xx

Naomi

So I should let my mom know not to set your place this year.

Y/N

Yes, save me the heartbreak. xx

Naomi

You owe me.

It seems there was only one thing left to do which was wait for Harry to come back.

"Bel, I've put in our order for lunch already. I got you the sandwich you had wanted." His voice rang through the room as you sat on the edge of the bed, your bag packed hidden from his view.

"Harry."

He stops looking up at you, hearing a different tone in your voice.

"You alright?"

"Need to have a chat," as you pat the bed for him to join you.

He does so quickly, taking your hand in his and resting it on his lap. "Course, angel."

"Saw the news for Houston. Glad you could reschedule."

You see him relax as he sees what you want to discuss, "yeah, thanks to Jeff. Really had to work back and forth with them. Oh, and he was able to get a new show added."

"New show in Little Rock."

He has not picked up on the tone you're carrying, "yes, going to be another week on the road, isn't that great."

"It's the day before Thanksgiving."

"I know, but the crew was understanding and will be going home after at the end of the week."

The crew knew; it felt like you were the only one who didn't.

"Did everyone know?"

"Well yeah, most. We discussed it as a team and got their input."

You nod, "you didn't let me know."

He shrugs, "I didn't think it was necessary. You said you'd be around for the end of the tour."

"Doesn't mean I want to find out about new tour dates with everyone else in the world."

"Wait, are you mad?"

"I'm upset. You asked me to join you on tour and didn't let me know it was extended so close to a holiday I celebrate."

Harry's face falls a bit, letting his defensiveness fall. "I assumed you'd be there."

"Yeah, you did. I would if we talked about it. It's an awful week to travel, and there's no guarantee I'd make it home that night."

"We will get you a private plane."

"That's not the problem." Your voice is exhausted, not at all wanting to argue about this.

"Then what is it?"

"That you chose not to talk with me, you chose to leave me out. I'm not part of your team, but as your partner, I thought you'd trust me to talk about."

"I trust you."

"Your actions prove otherwise."

"Bel," his voice soft. "I'm sorry."

You grimace, knowing it might be too soon, "I'm going to stay in the other room."

"What?" He shouts, "no, don't."

"It's not up for debate."

"But we didn't clear this up."

"We did, we addressed the problem, and I'm asking for space." You state, removing your hand from his hold and going for the bag that has your items.

"Space okay. When will we talk?"

"After my interview."

"Okay,"

"Thank you."

He nods, no longer looking at you.

"Harry," your voice softly gets him to look up at you. He raises his head, and you see his sad green orbs, "we're fine. I promise."

"Okay, Bel."

Getting ready today had been lonely. Harry always joined you in brushing your teeth together, bumping your hip, letting you know he'd be going to spit first in a warning. At first, you found it odd, but now alone, you missed it. He'd pick out your clothes only to tell him you'd wanted to dress a bit warmer, and he'd happily choose something else. You'd have coffee sent up as that was how he liked starting his mornings while you stuck to tea. A warm cuppa to bring a slight feeling of home back.

It's the quietness in the room, it was either the television, Harry's music, or his voice that filled the room, and now you had none of that, but you didn't worry because you'd talk to Harry later today and all would be well.

Your makeup was done, minimal but enough to highlight your features, and a pretty blouse was on smiling at yourself in the mirror; you were ready for the interview.

The laptop you always carry was set up on the desk the room provided, and you sat in the stiff chair that seemed to never have been used.

Viola had told you the interview was with Glamour Magazine. Emerson had sent you a vague outline of what they would be asking. You took a deep breath pushing away all you were feeling, and centered yourself on the interview.

As soon as the interview connected, there was a brief introduction with the two interviewers. You introduced yourself, not recognizing either of the women, a bit surprised seeing as you've worked with Glamour before but decided not to question it.

"Y/N Belmonte, an honor to interview you." Grace, with fiery red hair, begins.

"Thank you for having me." You reply truthfully.

Celia, with black hair and olive skin that reminded you of your father, officially began the interview. "We know you're used to Flor interviewing you, but she is in Europe and couldn't make it work. She trusted only us, and we promise to treat you with respect. Why don't you tell us where you are? Looks quite fancy. "

You respected that, how honest they were being, and honestly, it relaxed you a bit.

The interview had been going smoothly, each girl following up on questions from your answers. It was easy to laugh and be honest with them as they asked about directors you've worked with, your favorite show to watch, and things you were looking forward to.

"Honesty hour," Celia begins, "I'm Mexican-American, and to be able to look up at the big screen and see one of us representing who we are is an honor. Even better that you're not cast in stereotypical roles." She clears her throat, offering you a smile.

"Celia, thank you. It's an honor to be able to do what I love. I've had my family's support from the start, and I wouldn't be where I am without them. My dad used to say, "aprende del pasado, vive en el presente y trabaja para el futuro." You feel your throat tighten up, but take a deep breath, "meaning learn from the past, live in the present, and work for the future. It's always stuck with me that I'm part of history, that others will look back at what we've all done, and I hope my impact isn't just in film, but to the younger generation that you can reach any goal you set your mind to."

Grace and Celia are both wiping tears as you finish, and it makes you grin because your words touch them, and you hope they touch others who read or see this as well.

"I can proudly say I've never cried in an interview until today," Grace pouts.

"I wish I could hug you both. It's been a while since I've had a heartfelt interview." You tell them honestly. "When in Los Angeles, lunch on me."

"Heard it here first everyone, Miss Belmonte wants to talk some more with us."

You laugh, "all off the record, of course." That causes them to join in the laughter as well.

The interview continues, and you know it's close to the end and hold your breath, waiting for the questions you were not looking forward to.

"I know, I know you must be asked constantly, but we got to know. How is it being able to call Harry a friend?" Grace asks.

You laughed because they surprised you. You expected them to ask if you were dating but no, not at all. "He's wonderful. Truly one of my closest friends, and I'd trust him with all my secrets."

"Secrets do tell." Celia leans in closer to her screen.

You shake your head, "secrets stay secrets."

"Fair enough," Grace replies.

"What's your favorite thing about him?"

"That…he cares about everyone. He has no bad intentions for anyone, and although I think he may not be the best communicator, he always works to be better."

Both women are looking at you with a soft look in their eyes, and you're not sure if you overshared or not, but it's too late.

"Off the record, are you dating?"

"Off the record," you repeat. "We are not."

"Bummer." Grace shrugs back in her chair. "I've been shipping you since you went to go see him in New York."

You chuckle, "I'll be sure to pass the message along when I see him at the end of the week."

"Oh, you're going?"

"I am, off the record."

They agree in unison, offering you one last goodbye before signing off. You shut your laptop and relax back into your seat. You check the time seeing it was twelve o'clock.

Jeff

Car downstairs, waiting for you. You can leave your bags in the car, and they'll take them over to the bus.

Y/N

thank you! heading over now x

Jeff

Meet us in the conference room

That's strange, but you choose not to question it. Instead, you pack up all of your items, then pop over to Harry's room and find that it's all cleaned out. Including the book and sweater, you had left.

Time to head over.

Arriving at the arena, you decided it was pretty but intimidating as you didn't know your way around the venue, not having a tour as you usually did when arriving with Harry.

The driver dropped you off, and there was a security at the back entrance where you flashed your lane yard, and he happily let you in. As the door closed behind you, the venue seemed to expand.

You walked a few steps hoping to find a worker or someone from the crew but nothing. Walking forward, you began to grow nervous and were about to call for Jeff when you saw a worker with a black shirt saying security.

"Excuse me," you shouted as they were walking away.

"Yes," the person turned around, and their smile dropped. "You're Y/N Belmonte."

You nodded, "I'm here with the tour, uh do you think you can direct me to the conference room."

"Oh, sure."

"Thank you, Carla." Reading the name tag on them.

"No problem." You walk, making polite conversation, but Carla seems a bit star-struck to say more than a few words. "We're here."

The door was closed, and you shot her one last smile, thanking her before walking in.

Opening the door, the last thing you expected was to see most of the crew surrounded by puppies. The smile on your face was instant. You wanted to sink to the floor as they all surrounded you.

Jeff met your eyes from across the room, a sleepy puppy in his hold as he cocked his head to the couch where Harry was sitting next to Mitch. You nodded, making your way over to a spot in front of Harry, and decided that would be good enough.

Harry's eyes were following you as you greeted everyone making your way across to him. You paused in front of him where he was now standing, gesturing you to sit, but you shook your head, sinking to the floor right by his feet.

"Don't want the seat, Bel?"

"Closer to the puppies here."

"Interview, okay?"

You hum, look up at him as he's leaning his elbows on his knees. "Yes, better than expected."

"Good."

You lean back against the couch, rest your head on Harry's knee. You miss the shock on his face but don't miss his hand caressing your hair for a second. There's a tiny puppy that got up and began trotting its way over to you, small little paws and floppy ears making you grin.

"Hi buddy," you reach your hand out for the brown pup to smell; it does so before reaching its paws into your lap. You lift the puppy up and cradle it as if it were a baby, and rub its belly. "Aren't you the sweetest thing?" You giggle, bringing it up to your face giving it a few kisses, then get a few in return on your chin. A few more come over drawn by your laugh. Soon there's one in your arm and two laying down on your stretched-out feet.

"Think Harry's got competition," Niji says with a laugh as he points his phone in your direction, capturing the moment, and you hope he sends that to you later.

"I've got lots of love to give." You look up at Harry, smiling at him, and he nods in understanding.

The puppy you're cradling has settled in your hold and has closed his eyes. You awe at the sight and turn to look at Harry carefully raise your hands, "H, look, he's sleeping."

Harry feels like his heart could burst, looking at you full of joy as you're surrounded by all the young pups. He lifts his phone up to you, asking silently if he could take your photo. You nod and offer him a big grin raising the pup higher to come out in the frame. He smiles down at the picture, making it his lock screen. Your body is now turned, facing him a bit more. "Likes you, Bel."

"I want one."

He chuckles, "we can't tour with a dog, lovie."

You frown, "that's sad."

"Yeah, it is. Bet it'd be fun."

You laugh, "maybe."

Everyone spends another hour with the dogs before you head to have lunch. You didn't realize how hungry you were until you smelled the food as soon as you were in. You spotted a veggie wrap and claimed that as your own. The chatter was loud, from everyone but you realized Harry was quieter than usual and knew you were overdue for a conversation.

"Bel," Harry approaches you as you throw away your trash, "can we talk?"

"Yeah, H. Let's go." You allow him to lead the way to his dressing room, making sure to pay attention to each turn you make so that you'd be able to find it later.

He lets you walk in first, locking the door behind him. You both take seats on the couch. The distance between you is more prominent than you'd like.

The silence fills the room, and it's stiff. Harry clears his throat, reaching his hand out for you before bringing it back to his lap.

"Bel," he begins. "I'm sorry." His gaze is intense, but you don't dare look away and nod for him to go on. "It was rude of me to assume. I—I know you have others that need you, and well, I don't celebrate, but it doesn't excuse how insensitive I was to not talk with you. I apologize."

You reach out your hand, placing it on top of his, "thank you."

"You can end in Los Angeles and know I won't be upset."

"H-"

"-it would be fair, seeing as that's what I asked from the start."

"I'm going to see this through with you." You assure him.

"You are?" He says, surprised.

"Of course. I was upset when I found out after everyone else did."

"I-"

You keep going, "I understand it's work but remember you asked me to join."

Harry nods, "I did, and I'm happy you're here. I promise not to do it again."

"Good, I forgive you. Now let's take this lesson and remember to communicate because that's how we'll get through everything by hearing each other out."

"Okay, darling." He leans in, planting a kiss on your cheek. "I got you an apology treat."

"Did you?"

"Yes," he stands up, practically buzzing. "Do you want to wait or follow me?"

"I'll follow."

Harry takes your hand, walking you out of the room and down back to the kitchen of Sarah's kitchen, and you feel like you're running at the pace of his walking. He ushers you both into the freezer pulling out a box and presenting it to you. It's a box of Helados.

Your mouth drops, not having seen this in quite some time. "Shut up, you didn't."

He looks sheepish, "my apology gift, I hope I'm officially forgiven."

You nod, holding the box close. "You got me, Helados. These are my favorite. You remembered."

"Course I did, remember all the stories you've told me."

You can't remember when you told him it could have been in passing or in the quiet nights traveling on the bus or after some late night fun. Helados are your favorite ice cream that you'd eat on the porch step with your grandfather. On good days it was a strawberry, and on bad ones, it was mango, and on random days he'd put his hand behind his back and make you choose one of two, always a new flavor. It's your favorite treat that brings you home, and the fact that Harry remembered brings you close to tears.

You rush into Harry's arm, causing him to stumble back; it's a small gesture but one that means everything. He's listening, and he's trying, and that's all you could ever ask for.

"Thank you."

"Course, love. I am sorry."

"All forgiven."

You rip the box open and grab a strawberry one offering the box to Harry. He grabs a mango one. You hand him back the box, so he can put it away.

Harry is quick to remove the wrapper and have a taste, and he enjoys it. "It's sweet."

You nod, "sweet enough."

"Let me try yours." He pouts, and who are you to say no. You can tell he enjoys the strawberry more but will not be trading with him. Nope, you're going to enjoy this treat.

You spend the next half hour standing there talking and eating your ice cream until both your phones ring, meaning it is time to head to soundcheck.

"Shall we go?"

"We shall." He beams as you walk down the hall hand in hand.

You're good, and that's all you could ever want.

"Guapo," you whistle for as he does a spin for you, showing off tonight's look. Harry is dressed in a champagne-colored metallist shirt, black wide-leg trousers, matching suspenders, and leather boots. He looks insanely good, but Jeff trusted you to keep him on time today. Meaning you'd have to celebrate after.

"Thank you,"

"Harry?"

"Yes, love."

"How much Spanish do you understand? I know I don't speak it often, but you don't ask me what something means when I do."

Harry laughs, coming into your space where you're leaning against the mirror, trapping you in. "Well, I do know Italian, a bit of Japanese," he throws in with a wink. "But Italian and Spanish are a bit similar, don't you think? Wasn't it easy for you to learn Italian?"

"Yeah, but I was a kid. It's easier as a child. I'm not that good, decent if we're honest."

"Well, I don't ask because I assume their compliments or kind words," he leans in closer, noses touching, "or am I wrong?"

Your breath hitches, "not wrong."

"Guapo means," pausing, waiting for you to finish.

"Handsome."

"Tell me something else," he pressed a kiss to your nose.

"Amor,"

"Too easy, love."

"Me gusta tu sonrisa."

He moves his face down to press a kiss to your cheeks now. "I like…"

"Your smile. I like your smile."

You feel him grin against you, not pulling away to see that smile you adore.

"Te ves radiante." You feel his teeth graze your jaw, a gasp escaping you.

"Explain it to me, baby."

"You look radiant," you breathe out.

"Thank you."

“Estoy orgullosa de ti, mi estrella.”

Harry freezes, his lips pressed against your jaw. He moves his face up slowly until his eyes find yours. "Baby."

You've stumped him, knowing the one word he does recognize is 'estrella.' You reach your hand up and hold his face, pressing his lips against yours. It's fast and all-consuming, allowing yourself to get lost in him, lost in the feeling that washes over you, the feeling of comfort and passion.

You pull back, leaving him chasing your lips for more. "I'm proud of you, my star." His eyes shine as he takes in what you've said. "That's what I said."

Well, Harry isn't sure how to express his emotions, so he shows you, he connects your lips, and it's nothing but passion as he takes control, needing you to feel every emotion you make him feel: happy, lucky, grateful, shocked but overall loved and cared for.

"Thank you, angel."

You press a final kiss and push him back. "Now, it's time for you to take the stage, rockstar."

"Oh, I'm going to shine." He teases.

But he will because Harry was made to be on stage.

Tonight feels a little calmer, the cheers are loud, the crew is a bit more laid back, no one rushing around, and you wonder what set the new pace. You don't have enough time to question anyone seeing as the lights dim and the band begins the opening notes to Golden.

Tallulah pulls you for most of the night, dancing and singing each song with you. It's nice, and you have as much fun as usual. The most memorable part of the night was when Tommy and Luis came over and began going crazy during what makes you beautiful, laughing as the crowd sang the song's original version and not Harry's version. You doubt there'd be a crowd that got his version correct. You let yourself go and begin dancing around with these people that have become friends, good friends.

You understand what Harry says each night about being whoever we want to be in this room. To embrace yourself and love ourselves and those around us. Letting your guards down to be happy is scary, but it's welcomed, and this is the safest environment to do so. Dancing and laughing with everyone makes you feel part of something bigger than yourself. You know that each person who came here tonight will go home and reflect on their favorite moments or interactions, but they will never be able to describe the feeling because it's something you have to experience for yourself.

As Harry begins his closing speech of the night, you all stand linked together, taking in the moment and appreciating the lyrics of these songs that you all relate to differently, but ultimately know that no matter what happens, you'll get through it and you'll be alright. You notice Luis and Jeff break off from the end and stand in front of you. You don't say anything, still having a good view of Harry as he sings the final notes before being taken under.

"There were cameras on us. You can't be spotted, not when you're supposed to be in New York."

You nod, thankful Jeff was looking out for you. "Thank you."

"Course, we take care of each other, plus Viola would have my head." Jeff shudders, imagining facing her wrath.

The encore goes off smoothly, and soon the stage is empty. Luis and Tommy have long run backstage to meet Harry. You stroll backstage, hidden behind Jeff and Tallulah, until you're in the safety of backstage.

There's loud laughter coming from the dressing room, and it's not Harry's you stop by to see. Everyone is hugging and complimenting on how well they did tonight. Harry is holding Mitch close, talking enthusiastically, and if you didn't know Mitch, you'd think he was uninterested, but there's a grin on his face.

Harry rushes over to you as soon as he sees you walk in, "Love, what'd you think?" He presses a kiss to your temple.

You embrace him in a hug, holding him tight despite how wet and sweaty he is, "fuiste fenomenal."

He giggles, squeezing your hips, "I know that one, phenomenal."

“Smart, you are, mi estrella. You always put on a beautiful show."

Harry goes quiet, but his eyes tell you a different story; he's trying to tell you he does it for you, that each night he looks into the audience to find you and make you proud.

You met him halfway and pressed your lips against his. You wanted him to have no doubt you felt the same, that you'd continue to feel the same. Kissing Harry always made you lose sense of where you were, and it was one of the best feelings to get lost in. Harry pulled away, pecking your lips a final time with one look promising of more later. For now, you'd surround yourself with your favorite people. He moved over to where everyone was standing and quickly joined in on the conversation, swiftly making everyone laugh.

Tucked under Harry's arm, you look around you and take in all the conversation and the laughter. This is family, they've welcomed you, and you'll take it for as long as they have you, and if you're lucky, which you hope you will be, you'd never have to lose their friendship and love.

thank you for reading <3 i adore you

taglist: @alienorknight @harry-is-my-sunflower @myfavfanficsever @4hazza @springholland @michelleficrecs @harryismyfwend @evanjh @onlyamylee @golden-hoax @itsmycorneroftheinternet

part ten new york

[aweecrush]

FOUR MONTHS, or what happens between President Clinton's visit to Derry on November 30th, 1995 and Erin and Orla's isolation tape recorded on March 30th, 1996.

Part 1 here

January 8th, 1996

Of course she’d get sick the very first school day of the year. Of course.

Not that she would have particularly minded in other circumstances: she’s not an eejit, she won't turn away a couple of days of doing nothing and everyone fussing over her when it comes her way. Plus, Granda always makes his special hot chocolate when one of them is sick, and Christ if that isn’t the best thing she ever tasted.

But the thing is, she’s been sick sick, headaches and nausea and sore throat and all, and it’s been days, and she’s - well, sick of it. It doesn’t help that Anna’s been sick as well, which means that not only is no one available to bring special attention to her through the whole ordeal, but Mammy’s unhinged like - for real. So far, her shouts have done nothing to improve Erin’s state.

The worst of it has passed now, but she still feels kind of hazy and needs to sleep every two hours, so she’s not allowed to go back to school just yet. Again, that wouldn’t have particularly broken her heart, but teachers are always out of their minds at the beginning of the new year, full of motivation and good resolutions, and this time around, with the mock exams in addition to that? Clare must be rubbing out on her, because the thought of this, and the idea of having so much to catch up on when she gets back stresses her out.

Plus, she misses the girls. At the exception of Orla, nobody’s been allowed past the door yet.

1996 is off to such a good start.

The day has been mostly quiet: Granda spent an hour criticizing Da’s drive skills, but Anna’s been crying a little less, and Erin has managed a good three hours downstairs with everyone before the headache starts. She’s been alternating between reading her Christmas gift and nodding off ever since.

It’s well into the afternoon when someone knocks at her bedroom door.

“What are you doing here?” is the first thing that comes out of her mouth as James pops his head in, all smiles and wild curls.

She’s so surprised, her stomach does a somersault inside.

“Well, hello to you too, Erin - I see bedrest has done wonders for your manners,” and she chuckles with him as he easily catches the pillow she throws at him.

“How did you get in here? I thought Mammy was watching the door like a prison warden.”

“She did kick us out in less than five words and five seconds both times we tried last week,” he confesses, his face a mix of amusement and sorry about that. “So, I tried a different approach today.”

She raises a curious eyebrow.

“James Maguire, did ye finally find a way to bribe my Ma? Because a lot of people would pay for this secret - the inhabitants of this house very much included.” He laughs, and Erin realizes that she’s missed that sound.

“Not yet, no. But I did mention that you needed your homework if you didn’t want to get behind.”

“But Orla’s been bringing it to me.”

His face twists a little in embarrassment. “Yes, that’s what your mum said.” Then, something like pride twinkles in his eyes. ”So, I told her we really needed to start our homework sessions, because the teachers already gave us so much to do, and you know, exams are coming - real soon, too.”

“Our - what?”

He smirks. “Come on Erin, you remember: the sessions you and I said we’d start this year - you helping me with my English, me with your math?”

Shaking her head at the cheeky attitude that’s starting to radiate through his every pore, Erin tries and fails to contain her smile.“I can’t believe Mammy bought that.”

“Of course she did - I’m an excellent liar.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yeah, well, a good enough one. Although I did tell her that you weren’t contagious anymore at this point - which is true, I looked it up - so I think that helped, too. Also I think her show had started, so I’m pretty sure she would have agreed to anything to stop me from talking and go back to the TV.”

Dopey grin very much still on, James takes off his jacket, and throws himself next to her on the bed. “Alright - you’ll never guess what Jenny did this morning.”

January 14th, 1996

To her right, Clare’s great uncle’s loud snores rise again, each one even more impressive than the other. Not that she can blame him, really: Christ but that movie is bad. She’s not even sure she gets it. Well, at least she hopes she doesn’t, because otherwise, that means that this man just married his own sister, which really -

“Damn, that movie really is shit, isn’t it?”

She rolls her head to see James’ standing in the doorway, eyes focused on the TV and corridor’s lights shedding pretty shadows on his face. When his eyes meet hers, he chuckles, then gestures towards her TV partner.

“Your new friend seems to be enjoying it, though.” She snorts.

“He was way smarter than me on that one - there’s things I won’t be able to unsee. Ever,” and that earns her another chuckle.

He keeps his eyes on hers a little after, and Erin just looks back at the screen, trying her best to swallow the lump coming back in her throat, and focus on the God awful story instead.

It’s not that easy, but she keeps trying anyway.

After a moment, she feels more than sees him close the distance and sit down next to her on the floor, back against the sofa. He copies her and lets his head fall back on the cushion, and she can feel his thigh pressed up against hers.

It feels better, then. A little less…

Just less.

He doesn’t say anything, not for a long while. It’s only after they watch the fire destroy the whole family mansion in an unexpected and excruciating twist that she eventually speaks.

“It’s okay James - you can go back to the party, you don’t have to sit with me.” She wants him to, though. He’s warm - he’s always so warm. “I’m fine.”

Again, Erin feels more than sees him shrug. “I want to. I mean, for one, I can’t possibly miss the end of this masterpiece,” he points at the TV, and she smiles. There’s a little pause before he finishes, his tone a little different. “Plus, she was really pissing me off too, actually, so please don’t make me go back there.” She chuckles a little, even though it hurts again.

A couple of minutes pass, and Erin tries her best to focus on the images in front of her. This time, he’s the one who breaks the silence. “She was really out of line, you know - Clare’s still telling her off, actually.”

She knows he’s being nice, but she really wishes he’d stop. She can feel her bottom lip shaking again, and she just - she just wants to watch this stupid movie, and forget the whole thing. Forget everything, really - she just wants some quiet.

When she feels the slightest brush of his hand against hers, she doesn’t know if she’s more mad at him for staying and seeing her like that, or relieved that he won’t leave her alone. Not for the first time that night, tears start rolling down her cheeks.

Feck.

“She was wrong, Erin - don’t listen to her.” She snorts, drying her face with the arm that’s not touching his. “She was.” He sounds really mad now. James’ doesn’t get mad, not like this.

Finally turning her head to look back at him, she finds his green, dark eyes already looking at her.

He was the one that first told Michelle to shut it. She’d told him off, of course, but he’d insisted, and Clare had backed him up. It had started calmly enough, though.

Nothing had even started, in fact - not really. It was just another night of studying at her house during which Michelle, inevitably bored, inevitably started telling them about that new fella she was seeing. Of course, it had gotten really graphic, really fast, Orla’s eyebrows furrowing even further with each word as Clare started to look green. At one point, Erin eventually told her to cut it out.

The shift of Michelle’s attention from her story to her personal case hadn’t been a welcomed one.

“I’m serious, Erin - you’ve got to get on with it,” she’d said. “It’s the new year: make that your number one resolution or something, because we’re dangerously approaching tragedy at this point.”

She didn’t know why it didn’t end there like it usually did, but it didn’t: she’d kept going on and all night long, and then again on the bus Friday morning, relentless about the fact that it was damn time Erin got herself a lad, or even a random fella to at least snog, because it was just inacceptable that at her age, she still didn’t have any move - or the slightest experience whatsoever, as she so gently put it.

(Ach, as if she didn’t already know that. As if she wasn’t aware of how pathetic she looked, most likely to all of Derry - as if that wasn’t exactly what had relentlessly run through her mind as she waited for John Paul to show up, all dolled up in that stupid dress.

No boy had even looked at her.)

“For the love of Christ, leave her alone, Michelle!,” James had all but growled this morning as his cousin kept going.

“Yes - and Erin, don’t listen to her. Why are you even teasing her and not us, anyway? I’ve never had a kiss or a date - neither did Orla.”

“Yes, but Orla’s Orla - ”

“Do ye think birds sleep?”

“- and you’re a lesbian, Clare: much more complicated for you. She, however, has no excuse.”

Erin had left the room and headed to the bathroom then, trying to convince herself that Michelle’s words didn’t bug her this much. That they didn’t hit right where it hurt, and that she didn’t feel like shite.

She does.

And now here she is, watching TV with a sleeping seventy year-old man on a Saturday instead of knacking some drinks and enjoying Clare’s family party as they’d planned, feeling like her tears might fall at any moment, the last of Michelle’s jabs delivered an hour ago a little too hurtful to pretend like everything’s okay.

“Hey.”

His voice brings her back to reality, and she looks back at him and the small, gentle smile he has on his face. “Forget it, okay? You’re great, Erin. Any boy would be lucky to have you.”

She scoffs. “Yeah, well, as Michelle so pertinently pointed out, they’re not exactly lining up, are they.”

“You mean in our all girl Catholic school?”

She gives him what’s meant to be a half amused, half reprimanding look at that, but he’s not laughing. Quite the contrary, actually.

“I mean it, Erin. I don’t know when it will happen, if it’ll be here, or in college, but - I do know that you’ll find someone that you actually like soon, someone who actually realizes what he has instead of pricks like David Donnelly and John Paul.”

It’s so strange, seeing him this worked up. But his face softens then, and somehow, it helps the knots in her stomach unfold a little.

He bumps her shoulder a little, and she answers his smile. “And until then, you shouldn’t rush into kissing or dating the first fella who comes around just because my brainless cousin has decided there’s a deadline for stuff like that - believe me.”

“Regretting Katya then?”

As predicted, he groans with a roll of his eyes dramatic enough to put her to shame, and despite the tears still in her eyes, Erin laughs.

“Every chance you get, huh? Well, believe it or not, Katya was actually not my first kiss.” She - Oh.

He grins. “Yeah.” Then, his wee face is back to soft again, and he hesitates a little before meeting her eyes again. When he does, his are laughing, and something else she can’t quite put her finger on. “I’m glad you stopped me that night though. You were right.”

“About the fact that she was mental?”

He shakes his head, amused, and his curls go all bouncy. “No, about the fact that it’s better to wait - do it with someone you care about. I’m glad I did.”

Aye. Well, she’s glad to - Katya really was mental.

Her tummy feels a bit weird, but then James’ getting up and extending his hand to help her do the same.

“Come on: my aunt and uncle aren’t home tonight, let’s go watch a real movie.”

“What about the girls?”

“Well, Orla’s very busy enjoying the chocolate fountain yet again, Michelle is getting drunk and flirting with Clare’s second cousin, and Clare herself is actually talking to her very interested looking neighbor.”

Erin grins. “Really?”

“Oh yeah. Don’t worry, they won’t miss us.”

And so she wraps her fingers around his, and, grabbing their jackets on their way, Erin follows him out.

They’re barely out the door and still laughing at the way a very inebriated Mrs Devlin nearly fell on them when a voice raises behind them on the street.

“James, is that you?”

They both turn to see a girl about their age walk towards them, a box in her hand and her grinning face illuminated by the outside lights of the houses.

She’s pretty - really pretty.

“Oh my God, it is you!”

Erin turns to him just in time to see recognition materialize on his face. “Emily! Right, of course - what the hell are you doing here?”

They talk for a couple of minutes, both surprised at what Erin admits to be a pretty crazy coincidence. When they part, Emily’s nice smile still glowing, James quickly explains a bit more when he knows her from (school, kind of) - and then, inevitably and passionately starts listing their film options for the night.

Aye, but that boy loves his movies.

January 18th, 1996

They get detention again.

Of course, her Ma blows it all out of proportion and makes it into a big thing, when really, it isn’t their fault. Well, not completely, anyway. As a consequence, her and Orla see their chores multiply by two for a month, but at least they don’t get their TV privileges revoked like Michelle and James. Clare’s banned from hanging out with them for two weeks all together.

Other than that, though, things are good. Jenny has a new fringe and it looks awful, which doesn’t waste anything. Even her grades are going up, which she doesn’t see coming - not that fast, anyway. James’ a great teacher though - much, much better than Sister Philips (when he explains it, math actually makes sense, which is really new to her). He’s been helping her with physics, too, and if he wasn’t Ma’s favorite before (he definitely was), that would have done the trick.

“Is the wee English fella not having tea with us tonight?” Granda asks as Erin pulls up her chair and sits.

“He couldn’t make it for tutoring tonight Granda. He’ll be coming tomorrow instead - he asked if that was okay.”

“Of course it is: you know he’s welcome any day, love.”

“Aye, he’s a good kid so he is.” Erin smiles. She likes that they all like him so much.

As she takes the potatoes from Orla, she feels a bit weird about him not being here, too. It really is nice, having him over.

Before she can linger on that thought though, her Da asks about that new song she likes, and Erin starts rambling about it with an excited smile despite the roll of her Ma’s eyes at the other side of the table.

January 24th, 1996

“Is that girl trying to ride James?”

They all turn around in one perfect, swift motion that could not have been more coordinated if they’d tried.

The pub is packed, and they have to kind of twist and raise up on their chairs and bench to see where Michelle just pointed with her beer, but sure enough, leaning against the bar, James’ laughing at something a very close, very pretty girl has apparently just said to him.

Next to Michelle, Orla tilts her head to the side. “Does James have a new friend now?”, and his cousin snickers.

“Given the way she’s pointing her tits at him Orla, I don’t think it’s her friend she wants to be.”

Erin feels like a stone drops in her stomach.

“Who is that?” Clare frowns as they all sit back. “She looks familiar.”

“Isn’t it Cilian’s sister?”

“Do ye think so?"

“Aye, I’m fairly certain it’s her, yeah. Feck it but dicko’s really on a strike these days, isn’t he,” she chuckles, downing another gulp of her beer.

“What do you mean?” The alcohol and heat make Erin’s voice a little shakier than she would have liked, but nobody seems to notice.

“Didn’t I tell you yet? Little Jamesie’s all grown up now: he got a dirty call a couple of days ago.”

He -

“What?”

It’s a good thing the pub’s so loud, or Clare’s high pitched voice would certainly have turned all heads to their tables. Not that it’s unjustified, really.

“Well, it wasn’t actually a call, since we don’t have a phone anymore and all that. And it wasn’t dirty either I suppose - but that girl definitely wants to ride him as well.”

“What happened?”

As soon as she asks the question though, Erin’s not so sure she wants the answer anymore. Michelle’s enthusiasm doesn’t leave her any time to dwell on it though - not on that, or on the way her tummy’s twisting in a sort of a painful way.

God but she had too much to drink.

Much more resistant than her, Michelle takes another sip of her beer, and smirks. “Apparently, it was a girl he knows from England that’s going to live here now I suppose - he bumped into her at your Granny’s party Clare actually. Aye Erin, you left with him that night - you saw her, right?”

Of course. The pretty girl with a nice smile.

“Um - yeah.”

“Well, as you’ve seen, and I’m shocked to even say it really, but - massive, massive ride. Anyway, that girl comes knocking at the door, and she asks for James and starts about how she asked around for his address because how crazy is it that they’re both here now, and she doesn’t have many friends yet, and she’d love to hang out with him.”

“Well, that’s charming: knocking at his door to tell him she doesn’t have anyone else to hang out with so she might as well hang out with him.” Her cheeks feel a little hot now. She’s - mad, she realizes.

But really, is that any way to talk to a fella, let alone a sweet one like him?

Michelle just waves her off, apparently not offended at all on her cousin’s behalf. “Don’t you worry about that Erin, she wants to see him alright. I’m telling you, I watched the whole thing from the kitchen, and all the signs were there: the hair flips, the eyes, the laughing - oh, and yeah, the grabbing of the arm too.”

As she says that, her eyes stare past their heads and behind them and indeed, they turn to see Cilian’s sister's hand on his forearm - and then, running up his shoulder.

“Well, I hope it works out,” Clare pipes up enthusiastically, cheeks bright pink from the alcohol and heat. “James deserves to have someone.”

“He has us.”

“You know what I mean, Erin - a girlfriend. Plus, I think it’s all quite romantic actually - the kind of meetings that make for a really nice story.”

Erin rolls her eyes. “We’re in a sweaty pub, Clare - it’s hardly romantic.”

“No, I meant the other girl - the one from England? I just think it’s lovely, finding each other again like that against all odds, far from home - kind of like destiny.”

Her burp kind of takes all the wonderful out of the picture she’s trying to paint, but it doesn't seem to bother her. “That’s definitely a meet cute. You know, the cute way the boy meets the girl in the movies?”

“Aye but it is yeah. I vote for that girl too then,” Orla chimes in.

“Well, her or that one, in either case, it’s impressive. I’m actually proud of the wee fecker - good for him. Although I am still struggling to understand it, if I’m honest. I mean, has the prick turned into a ride or something? What’s with all the attention all of the sudden?”

Again, they all turn towards the bar, Clare spilling her beer all over Erin’s lap as she tries to sip and analyze their friend from afar, head tilted to the side. “I don’t know…”

In fairness, he has.

He’d always had pretty eyes, and a beautiful smile, and then he got that haircut that made his curls even more enticing. He'd grown into his body, too, his shoulders broader, his frame just a little bit taller. The roundness of the boy has all but completely disappeared from his face now, leaving his jaw sharper, turning him into…well, into a proper lad, really.

He is a ride.

Do they really not see that?

Before any of them can argue one way or the other though, the object of their conversation spots them, eyes confused then dangerous, and they all swing back on their chairs, pretending and falling that they’d not been full-on stalking him.

Well. Most of them.

“Way to go, dicko,” Michelle all but yells, one thumb and one beer up.”Didn’t think you had it in ye!”

January 30th, 1996

It hits her on Orla's birthday.

Well, at the end of Orla’s birthday sleepover, to be precise. She doesn't know how she doesn't see it coming, but - she really doesn't.

It’s a school day, so to celebrate, their Mas at least authorize all of them to stay over at Erin’s with no bedtime (“If I hear anything about one of yous dozing off in school tomorrow, help me Jesus wains, there’ll be tears.”). It's a nice day, really: Orla has the time of her life, running all over school with her birthday girl crown on her head, and when they get home, she zooms in the small fountain of chocolate that Mammy has prepared for the occasion. Dinner is nice as well, all of them squeezed at their small table that Erin realizes is currently hosting all the people that she loves most in this world. Of course, when Michelle asks her why she’s smiling like an idiot, she can’t say - but it’s nice.

There’s the cake, the opening (ripping, really) of the gifts and then, true to their words, all the adults leave them be. In terms of taking full advantage of that special “all on their own, all night” treat though? They could have probably done better.

Much, much better.

When she wakes up, it takes Erin a minute to understand where she is. The TV is still on, the only other light coming from the hall, making it a little difficult to see at first.

It’s barely an embarrassing twelve thirty, and if the long ended credits on the screen are any indication, they’ve been snoring for at least one hour, exhausted by their day of school, the one hour long, surprisingly intense aerobics session the birthday girl insisted they do, and the tons of delicious food that had probably been the final nail in their coffins.

Sometimes, she thinks that maybe those mouths at school aren’t that wrong, when they say their band is far from being the coolest.

It was a fun night, though, and Orla was happy. That’s what matters.

Michelle’s still on Granda’s chair, legs on one side and open mouth on the other in a position that her back will surely regret in the morning. Orla’s spread like a starfish on the carpet, wrapping paper still in one hand. Clare’s on a ball at the other end of the couch, legs folded into herself. Erin’s at the other end, and, initially seated between both of them, James is now completely leaning against her, one arm around her waist and his head on her shoulder.

He looks so peaceful, when he sleeps, that slight concern mixed with doubt he always wears on his face completely gone. Beautiful, really. His lips are slightly parted, and a couple of curls fall on his forehead. Erin feels the sudden urge to brush them away, so she does.

Slowly lifting the hand that’s been resting on his arm not to wake him, she tries to move one with her finger. Smiles sleepily when it immediately drops back where it was. She remembers being so pissed at the restaurant that day, when Katya kept threading her fingers in his curls, her whole body turned towards him. She can’t really blame the girl though: they’re really, really soft.

There’s warmth in her chest, so much so that she feels like her heart is melting a little, and in her stomach, it feels like the thing that’s been twisting more and more lately wakes again. In a nice way, through. A real nice way.

Clare suddenly moves in her sleep, grumbling something she can’t quite make out, effectively sending her foot in James’ back. An annoyed frown creases his features for a second, and then he’s moving even closer to her, his face all but buried in her neck at that point.

He smells good. Comforting, safe, and just - really, really good. Her heart flutters.

And that's when it dawns on her.

Vaguely aware that she’s stopped breathing, Erin looks back at his arm around her. At him. She can feel his breath on her skin now, and it’s just -

James. Seated in the couch that has seen her grow up, the slight snore of her cousin coming from the floor, Erin realizes that she’s...falling for James.

Not falling, really. If the treacherous thing in her chest and her barely functioning mind are any indication, she’s already fallen pretty hard, pretty deep, now on the bottom of the pit looking up.

Oh. Oh.

Well.

Shite.

[viscountessevie]

I loved Nicola because of Derry Girls and was hoping that like a lot of other Irish actors she would be a good ally but honestly, her shading of her POC castmates, overtaking interviews with Charithra and Simone, the Tudum. I feel like she thinks she's a really a good feminist because she's girlbossing as LW or whatever but, she does what a lot of white women in the British film industry do. Pure white feminism.

Related to any of the asks in my Anti-NC tag

Putting all these together because they are mostly in the same vein and I wanna be done talking about her for now lmao. However, I am separating them into two sections. The first three asks are about NC and her performative allyship and the last two (under the cut) are about how much influence she has on the show and how she’s treated as the main star despite the show being called Bridgerton.

The three of you all hit it on the nail! I’ve talked a lot about what she’s done and called her out on her performative-ness and behaviours against her cast mates of colour so mainly posting these to let yall voice your opinions. 

I will add on to the first ask: I was really excited to see her on Bridgerton after becoming a fan of her and Clare in Derry Girls! She seemed really lovely and sweet. Hell I even liked Pen until the last two episode when its revealed what she did to Marina and then she got worse in S2. It didn’t help that NC doubled down on LW’s actions and said Pen separates herself from the LW persona and doesn’t feel guilt and by extension, NC and the show also doesn’t think Pen did anything wrong. That’s when I started to get even more put off by her and the show’s stance on Pen. And then all the microaggressions came out and it really was giving white feminism. I had to tap out and went Girl BYeee I cannot be your fan anymore. So I will admit, I am a little bias against NC now and am pretty harsh and critical of her actions now because she let me down so much after coming off Derry Girls. 

Oh also! I found out two new things. About Tadum: the first time I got the ick was when she pulled the card line saying “Kathony is the most anticipated couple after Polin - I swear that’s what it says on the card!” and I am a clown who believed her that it was on the card but still thought she shouldn’t have said it. COME TO FIND OUT IT WAS NEVER ON THE CARD?! So really SHE’S THE DICK for adding it in and all this time I was shaming production for that. Like Jesus NC can one moment NOT be about you? 

Crying on Kelly Clarkson: I still refuse to watch it but recently got context for it and wtf she started crying after Kelly was reading out tweets about how the Sharmas and LD meant so much to audiences of colour. Like NC girl this isn’t about you!! All while CC and Adjoa are just sitting there like 😐😐. And of course the white woman tears overshadows what the tweets were saying. Lmao not Kelly’s team naming it video this [Literally only one of them cries and its not the WoCs 😐]: 

Anyways just more things to validate me being upset I can’t respect and be a fan of hers anymore sigh.

Section 2: Why NC Thinks Everything Revolves Around Her & Is The Star of the Show

Okay so I think I’m starting to understand - but still doesn’t excuse why NC behaves like this - why she always needs the attention on her and acts like its her show because I realised she was the VERY FIRST person cast and the first one the production and casting team had in mind when pitching the show. So that should have been a red flag to us that even in the early stages of the show they were going to centre it around her and focus on the LW plot. 

Thank God Simone's team was smart to whisk her out of there.

[I’m sticking to my no more CC asks rule (found in the last paragraph) and cropped out a loaded statement against CC in that ask and added the last sentence about Simone!]

And honestly I think they only started casting characters of colour after Rége blew them all away in auditions (before that it was said Newts and several other white actors were in the running for Simon) and then used that as their diversity selling point and doubled down on that marketing wise when they saw how much S1 blew up in popularity because of Simon and how people were excited to see POC finally featured in a regency romance. But they only want the glory of paving the way but not actually following through. 

All this to say, NC acts like the main star because Bridgerton treats her like it. They give her the most exposure (cough overexposure cough) with storylines, screen time, promos and even producing power with how she convinced them to add in the LW reveal and the “I will not court Penelope” scene. This is why I’m saying just make her a producer already, it would be more honest about how much she contributes to what goes in the show in terms of her storyline. 

I will forever be mad about Producer NC and I think they allowed CC concession as a way to show “See! We aren’t ignoring our WoCs we listened to Charithra.” which is such bullshit when in the same breath took away the scenes and story Simone signed onto the show for and then completely sidelined her in her own season. I will forever be grateful to Lizzy the Intimacy Coordinator for listening to Simone (and Jonny) because HOT DAMN those were best scenes to come out of the show solely because Jimone understood their characters and someone on the team actually listened to what they had to say. 

~

Okay so about FYSee: Yes NC has done a lot of shit but I do have to point out that I don’t put the full blame on her for the S3 announcement during the event. That seemed like it was pre-planned by the Producers/Showrunner. Simone seemed happy for her and not caught off guard so in this case it wasn’t NC being overexcited and letting it slip out. It’s all on the Bridgerton Creative and EP team for timing this announcement at AN EMMY EVENT PROMOTING S2. So that’s on the team and fuck them. 

I hate that they took the spotlight off Kathony and Simone especially who was there as their S2 lead and the leading lady representing them. I don’t understand why they had to pass the baton there when they are still supposed to be promoting S2. It was fucking selfish and I do dislike NC for running with it and taking the spotlight when she should have tried to keep it on S2 and Simone. 

I wouldn’t be this frustrated with all of this if Jonny wasn’t the only one on the cast who hypes up and champions for Simone, giving her the credit she’s due for S2. She always hypes up her other cast mates and never gets anything in return and it just makes really sad for her. I wish she’d just say Fuck yall and just keep her energy for people who deserve it and return the favour. 

[xanasaurusrex]

Light - B.M.

Pairing: Beverly Marsh x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1918 words

Warnings: Love confession, mutual pining, swimming, swearing, Richie Tozier (it’s a warning within itself), kissing, tooth-rotting fluff I stg, Losers Club are aged up to 17, super crappy ending, not proofread, I think that’s it! Please let me know if I missed anything!

Summary: The other Losers know for a fact that Bev returns Y/N’s feelings, even though she’s blind to them herself. But after a set up one day, maybe she’ll see the light.

Notes: My first ever It (2017) fic! Also my first fic on Tumblr! Thank you to anyone who read this, because it’s taking a lot of courage to write this, let alone post it…. Yeah, Bev and Richie are my favorite characters in the movies, and, given my url, I figured my first fic should be a Bev fic! Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

******

“She likes you back, Y/N,”

“No she doesn’t.”

“Stop fighting it, we all see it!”

Y/N looked at Richie with a roll of her eyes, turning back forward to avoid crashing into anyone or anything with her bike. “Can you stop with that? I don’t want you giving me false hope when I know she doesn’t like me back,”

Richie was the one to roll his eyes this time.

Everyone in the Losers Club knew that Y/N had had a crush on Bev for as long as they could all remember. Since the first day she saw Bev in the pharmacy after they found Ben outside the sewers and had gone in to find the supplies to fix him up.

Bev had been the one to save the day. She had distracted the man at the counter while they took the things they needed, and had come back afterwards to make sure that Ben was okay. Of course, Y/N had realized that it was not the time to be admiring Bev, seeing as Ben had just had a pretty rough run-in with Bowers, and Eddie was freaking out enough as it was.

It didn’t take long for Y/N to fall completely in love with the red-headed Derry resident. She lived in the apartment above hers, and whenever Bev’s dad fell asleep, Bev would climb down the fire escape and climb into Y/N’s window.

Y/N would sit with her and listen to what she said, or would just sit there, and the girls would hug.

On those nights when Bev either couldn’t go down to Y/N’s apartment, or didn’t need to, Y/N would lay down, and stare up at the ceiling, knowing that Bev’s room was directly above her own. She would wonder what Bev was doing, if she was reading the secret admirer note that Ben had given her, or if she was thinking of Y/N just as much as she was thinking of Bev.

It was torture.

It took a little longer for the other members of the Losers Club to realize that Y/N was falling in love with Bev. After that, they all began encouraging her to confess to Bev, because even though at the time they hadn’t seen the light that ignited in Bev’s eyes the second they landed on Y/N, they wanted their friends to be happy, and who else to be happy with but each other?

That was all when they were twelve, nearly five years ago. In that time, they had all seen that Bev loved Y/N the same way Y/N loved Bev. It was hard to watch the two beat around the bush with each other; subtle flirting that neither one noticed (though everyone else did), and even harder to see them think that the other was in love with other people, though everyone else thought it was painfully obvious to everyone else that it was each other they were in love with.

Now, as Y/N and Richie biked home together, Richie tried his best to convince Y/N for the thousandth time that Bev liked her back, no, loved her back.

“I’m sorry Rich, I want to believe you, I really do,” Y/N said for the thousandth time. “But you’ve gotta be blind to not see that Bev and Bill are in love with each other,”

 Richie quickly realized that he didn’t have enough energy to argue with her today, even though he still wanted to, instead opting for a safer topic: the test that Mr. Herrd gave them today, that Richie was fairly sure he had failed.

***

“They’re both fuckin idiots,”

Everyone nodded in agreement at Richie’s statement as the entire Losers Club watched Y/N and Bev play around and splash each other in the lake in the quarry, both of them giggling like little girls, their cheeks bright pink, and not from the sun.

“Bev!” Y/N squealed as Bev splashed her with a particularly large amount of water. After taking a second to regain herself, she retaliated by splashing an even larger amount of water at Bev.

“It’s like they’re both wearing signs saying, ‘I’m in love with the person standing in front of me, but since I’m both a pussy and an idiot, I haven’t said anything yet,”

Stan rolled his eyes at Richie’s language, but agreed nonetheless. “I wish they would just admit it to each other already. To be honest, it’s getting tiring. Should we just… lock them in a room together and not let them leave until they confess?”

“That’s an idea,” Bill smiled.

“Maybe we should say we’re meeting at the Quarry but then none of us show up,” Eddie suggested. “Chances are they’re gonna stay and hang out, and maybe if we’re lucky they’ll say something?”

Richie scoffed. “Knowing them, fat chance. I think if this plan fails, we should go with Stan’s idea,”

The others all agreed, and decided when the best date would be to set this up, and then set the date for their backup plan, and decided they would do it at Bill’s house, since his is the biggest and they would be able to hang around and check in on them regularly without having to hear them kick and scream.

“You guys coming back?” Y/N broke the boys out of their trance after her and Bev realized that they had been splashing each other for nearly fifteen minutes, when they should have been splashing the boys. “We’re getting bored!”

The boys all gave each other a sly look before immediately running back towards the water, splashing Bev and Y/N immediately, all of them laughing as they got splashed back.

***

“Are they coming?”

Bev and Y/N had been at the Quarry for nearly half an hour, both of them laying against the rocks, sunbathing, in just their bikinis. It took everything in both of them not to stare at the other and admire everything about them.

Y/N glanced at the watch that she had taken off her wrist, anticipating that they’d be swimming, and saw that it was now forty five minutes after noon, the time all the Losers had agreed to be at the Quarry.

Y/N sighed. “I don’t think so. Maybe they all forgot?”

Bev laughed. “You think Stan forgot? He’s probably at Richie’s with the others trying to get Richie out of bed. How much d’you wanna bet he stayed up all night on his Gameboy again, and now he’s sleeping the day away?”

She said the last part in a mock-dreamy way, a tone of voice that had Y/N’s heart soaring. She had always loved the sound of Bev’s voice, and there were certain times when it would just go straight to tug on Y/N’s heartstrings. It was never a particular time, just… Bev.

Everything about Bev was magical to Y/N. Somehow, all it took was one small smile, one of Bev’s smiles, and all of a sudden, Y/N was a completely different person.

Normally, she didn’t really like physical contact. It wasn’t anything in particular that had caused it, she just never was a really cuddly person. She could enjoy a short hug, or a quick high five, but anything longer than about three seconds made her uncomfortable

She wasn’t that way with Bev. Y/N would hug her for eternity, and would never want to stop. The two often held hands, and told everyone else that it was purely platonic, though Y/N secretly wished that it would be something more.

Y/N knew that Bev was still talking, but she couldn’t focus on anything more than the way that Bev’s lips were moving, as they moved quickly and perfectly to form the words that were on Bev’s brain.

The conscious, realistic part of Y/N’s brain told her that she should be focusing on what her friend was actually saying. That in just a few seconds, Bev was going to do the thing that they always did in movies where she waved her hand in front of Y/N’s face and asked if she had heard anything she said.

Sure enough, she did.

“Y/N/N, are you even listening to me?” Bev asked with a small chuckle.

The sound alone sent more heat to Y/N’s cheeks.

“S-sorry,” Y/N said quickly, shaking her head, almost as if that would clear her head of the thoughts she shouldn’t be having about her best friend. “Just uh… feeling a little out of it today, that’s all,”

Bev nodded in understanding. “Yeah. Today just… feels weird.”

Y/N nodded in agreement.

The two stayed silent for a few more minutes, before Y/N sat up again. “So, since the boys aren’t coming, we probably shouldn’t wait for them to start swimming, right?”

Bev nodded in agreement, before jumping up and running towards the water, yelling, “Last one in the water is a dancing clown!” behind her, before immediately splashing into the water, getting to a deep enough area, and diving in.

Y/N cursed herself, and then immediately launched herself into the water after Bev, inadvertently splashing her with water as she came out of the water herself at the perfect time.

“Got you!”

***

Y/N shook the water droplets out of her hair, refraining from watching as Bev dried out her own hair, slipping the loose dress that she had brought with her over the bikini that she had worn.

It was now five forty five, and Y/N was going to be expected home for dinner soon. After realizing this, she had reluctantly told Bev that she needed to head home.

Since they lived in the same apartment complex, Bev said she’d go with her.

The sunlight from the sunset bounced off the lake and onto the two girls standing on the beach next to the lake in the Quarry.

Y/N couldn’t help herself this time. She looked up to Bev, and found that she was staring at her the same way, admiring how the golden light danced across her skin, from the top of her coppery red curls to the very bottom of her feet.

Before she could even process what she was doing, Y/N quickly closed the space between her and Bev, pressing her lips against Bev’s.

It only took Bev two seconds to kiss back, relieved that Y/N had been the one to make the first move.

After a few seconds, they realized that they needed air, so the two reluctantly pulled apart, resting their foreheads together.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to do that?” Y/N whispered breathlessly.

“It was love at first sight, wasn’t it?” Bev asked. “I saw you with the boys and I knew that it was always going to be you. It’s always been you, Y/N,”

“It’s always been you, Bev,”

The two pulled apart, Bev’s arms still wrapped around Y/N’s neck, Y/N’s hands placed lovingly on Bev’s waist. As she looked into Bev’s eyes, she saw a glint in her eyes that she hadn’t seen before.

The light made Bev’s eyes even brighter than they already were, and the longer Y/N looked at her, the more she fell in love.

“I love you, Bev,” she confessed quietly, feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulder at the confession. “I always have.