#that was just labeled 'harry dies'

[glove23]

the torture of remembering the contents of a fic but not the title or the author and also it was deleted and so u will never get to read your favorite fic again

the torture of scouring ffn and ao3 in the vain hope that maybe it was reposted and clicking on anything vaguely similar only to be disappointed every time

the torture of loving something so much that is gone forever

[bumblingbabooshka]

This is literally one of my favorite moments for both Harry Kim and B’Elanna characterization. I think a lot of people forget how soft hearted and altruistic B’Elanna specifically can be while Harry, of course a friendly and sweet individual, devotes himself most often to the mission, his friends and Starfleet’s ideals. Harry’s been shown to be much more down-to-earth and less fantastical in his thinking than either Tom or B’Elanna. The only time he gets in major trouble with Janeway and breaks protocol is because he wants to be with a woman. This is distinctly different to me than Tom’s (attempting to save an alien world) and B’Elanna’s (giving a robot race the ability to reproduce) transgressions. His other biggest infraction is begin a mutiny which he does in order to save Janeway & Chakotay. He doesn’t get in trouble for this which is why I put it last but again it seems different from Tom or B’Elanna to me because it’s For The Ship it’s For The Captain it’s a crime which displays his loyalty to Janeway instead of one which demonstrates him going against her ideologically (as shown by the lack of punishment). In that way I think B’Elanna and Harry balance each other well. B’Elanna is a person who seems very nervous and defensive when in conversation with others, who thinks of herself as a person who is ‘bad’ and doesn’t believe in herself much. Meanwhile Harry seems to be at ease with most anyone he speaks to, attempting to befriend even Seven of Nine right away. He’s confident in himself and his abilities and out of everyone (yes even Tom who seems most often to just become frustrated) would be the one to push B’Elanna and break through her defenses. That’s to say it makes perfect sense that B’Elanna would be absolutely enamored by this person who views her as inspiring, would be struck by that while Harry views it as just a weird question. 

[fluffyartbl0g]

FUCKED UP BEETLE

PROBLEM

So you're having a totally fine day by all accounts and then it instantly goes to shit just because you pass by a fucked up beetle hidden in the grass. You've seen bugs dead all the time, so what. So what if its torn up wings and cracked shell definitely mean that some random kids fucked it up before it died. So what if your dad was drunk and high all the time and screamed at you and you fucked C over and you fuck everything up. SO WHAT. No amount of therapy or 'healthy coping mechanisms' or 'unpacking of trauma' will ever erase the ultimate truth underneath. You are intrinsically, hopelessly fucked.

-3 Volition: Fucked in the head

SOLUTION

You're going to wake up the next morning totally fine again. In fact, Harry's probably going to put some extra effort into making breakfast nice to cheer you up--which will actually kind of annoy you, but in a way that makes you feel all fuzzy and warm. Sure, you still get stuck in your head sometimes about sad shit, but you're dealing with it better and better, and the days where you actually feel like someone are beginning to far outnumber the days you don't. For now, you hug him a little bit tighter. You're safe now.

-1 Composure: Permanently a little bit fucked

+2 Volition: You're going to be okay

_

transcript under read more

VARIOUS CANDY WRAPPERS SPLAYED OUT ON THE TABLE: The label reads 'BLUE DREAM'. Unlike what its colour may suggest, it is not flavoured a blueberry or bubblegum, but vanilla.

[A red orb appears above Harry's head]

SHIVERS [Impossible: Success] - The air has been shifted ever so slightly. He's trying to breathe correctly, but blurs of thought keep flickering through his mind. This continued for the entire thirteen minute trek home.

PERCEPTION [Medium: Success] - A loud thunk rattles across the room as Cuno closes the door, he looks out of breath

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He's barely holding it together

CUNO - He looks up at you with a yelp, "Fuckin hell! Wasn't the pig supposed to be out investigating some shit?"

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - He didn't want you seeing him like this, answer his question, he'll leave if you ask him about it first.

1. "Did something happen?"

2. "You look like you ran a damn marathon kid, what's up?"

3. "I had to quickly come back to snag some important evidence for the case" (point to various candy wrappers)

CUNO - He scrunches his brow "That mean you're getting your ass outta Cuno's face soon?"

DRAMA [Easy: Fail] - Wow. He didn't even ask about the wrappers!

EMPATHY [Difficult: Success] - He doesn't want to be alone

1. "Did something happen?"

PERCEPTION [Difficult: Fail] - Cuno's hands tremble as he mumbles out a whisper of words you can't make out

1. Cuno?

[Harry reaches out to comfort him, but Cuno sees this and snaps at him]

CUNO - "NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED ALRIGHT? THINGS HAVE BEEN FUUUCKIN PEACHY TODAY"

"CUNO GOT A FUCKIN A ON HIS ESSAY, ABSOLUTELY WENT DOWN ON A DELICIOUS FUCKIN KEBAB YA HEAR?

CUNO - He pauses. "Nothin fuckin happened today. It's all me. Cuno's the one thats all fucked up"

He starts choking up by the end of that,

(a yellow orb is seen above Harry's head as he looks at cuno breaking down [it's reaction speed])

Harry hugs him

CUNO - "Fuck"

KUUNO - He hugs back tightly

[louisupdates]

With the first quarter of the 21st century coming to an end, Billboard has been looking back on the 25 Greatest Pop Stars of the Past 25 Years. Below, we take a deeper look into the solo career of Louis Tomlinson — one of the members of our No. 22 pop stars, One Direction — and how his songwriting, originally honed in 1D, has helped him develop into one of the group’s strongest breakout artists.

When One Direction officially went on hiatus in 2015, Zayn Malik dropped Mind of Mine in 2016, Harry Styles’ eponymous LP dropped in 2017, Niall Horan followed with Flicker later that year and Liam Payne’s First Time EP arrived in 2018. Louis Tomlinson, however, took his time with releasing a full project – and entered an era of healing and self-discovery that saw him realizing his potential as one of 1D’s most self-actualized artists, even if not necessarily the starriest.

Even before going solo, Tomlinson showed he was meant for breakthrough success while in One Direction. Longtime Directioners know that Tomlinson wrote more songs in One Direction than any other member, penning long standing hits including “Perfect,” “History” and “Fool’s Gold” and proving his fortitude as a songwriter who understands lyrical cleverness and crafting the indescribably catchy refrains necessary to produce arena-ready hits. Beyond his musical abilities, Tomlinson’s sense of humor and friendship with fellow 1D members also ensured fans had a soft spot for him.

However, when he did go solo, the road was slippery at first. He teamed up with Steve Aoki for his first solo release “Just Hold On” in December 2016, and just three days before its release, Tomlinson’s mother died of leukemia. He still took the stage to perform the song on The X Factor, the first public testament to the star’s strength and dedication to his musical craft.

Tomlinson’s resilience amid adversity continued as he navigated the music industry. The star signed with Epic Records in 2017 and released a few singles – including “Miss You” and the Bebe Rexha and Digital Farm Animals-assisted “Back to You.” While the infectious hooks to both tracks could have easily solidified Tomlinson as a pop mainstay, the two singles didn’t perform as well as expected on the charts: “Just Hold On” peaked at No. 52 on the Billboard Hot 100 and “Back to You” hit No. 40, while “Miss You” missed the chart altogether. Ultimately, a full-length album never materialized with Epic Records.

Tomlinson shortly got back on his feet, as he always does, and signed with Arista Records in 2019 – where he honed his talent as a songwriter, this time feeling comfortable enough to tackle more vulnerable topics in his music. His first release under the label was “Two of Us,” a heart-wrenching tribute to his late mother. “I know you’ll be looking down/ Swear I’m gonna make you proud/ I’ll be living one life for the two of us,” he sings in the chorus, giving a glimpse into what would soon become a musical career full of honesty and vulnerability.

Unfortunately, shortly after its release, another hardship struck Tomlinson’s life when his 18-year-old sister Fizzy died of an accidental overdose. Both the release of “Two of Us” and the tragedy that followed showed just how close Tomlinson’s community of fans is, as they showered him with online love and support in the months that followed.

After taking some much-deserved time to heal, he announced in August of that year that his debut solo album was on its way – and shortly after, he released a follow-up single, the rock-leaning, drumline-driven “Kill My Mind.” Tomlinson admitted that he finally found his stride. “I’m actually really proud and relieved to finally find my place, find my lane musically,” he told Hits Radio Breakfast at the time, indicating a moment of relief amid his turbulent few years.

Tomlinson’s debut solo album, Walls, arrived in January 2020 and while it hit the Billboard 200‘s top 10, it was met with mixed reviews from critics, who suggested that the heart he wanted to portray wasn’t quite there. His growth outside of commercial success proved otherwise, as he had been spending the past few years building a solid identity not only as an artist, but also as a person. While some of the other One Direction alums are still finding their footing with their solo sounds to this day, Tomlinson grew strongly into an instrumentation-focused pop-rock artist whose lyrics go beyond the cookie cutter sentiments you might expect from a former boy band member.

And soon, all the hard work – both personally and musically – finally paid off. Faith in the Future, his 2022 sophomore solo album, debuted at No. 1 on the Official U.K. Albums Chart. In the United States, Faith In The Future debuted at No. 2 on Billboard’s Top Album Sales chart, and at No. 5 on the all-genre Billboard 200, his highest-charting set yet on both tallies. The album’s success, as well his sold-out live shows on its accompanying tour, not only showed the still-standing Directioner devotion to Tomlinson, but also made it clear that he picked up a slew of new fans along the way.

Tomlinson’s self-awareness was evident on the album’s lead single, “Bigger Than Me.” “When somebody told me I would change/ I was afraid, I don’t know why/ ‘Cause so does the world outside, I’ve realized/ It’s bigger than me,” he sings – indicating that the key for solo success all along was being himself, and letting go of the pressure that fame brings.

While Tomlinson has still yet to score the major chart hits stateside that his 1D bandmates essentially achieved right away – and has been more focused on his 28 clothing line the past couple years – he’s proven that he doesn’t need traditional pop crossover success to have a bright future ahead of him. With another couple albums and tours that continue to establish his identity and expand his artistry, it wouldn’t be shocking to see him making the jump to arenas in the not-distant future. Louis’ solo career may not have gotten off to the perfect start, but it just might end up being perfect for him in the long-term anyway.

[celestemagnoliathewriter]

Sirius Black Appreciation Post

Time to celebrate Sirius Black's birthday by highlighting my favorite canon facts 🥳

Sirius is tall. We're talking at least 6'.

He's intelligent AF. He became an Animagus at 15. He charmed a Muggle motorbike to fly (Arthur couldn't do that with a car, Sirius did it in his late teens, latest at age 20). He escaped from Azkaban. He got a cat to order a racing broom. My man is brilliant, no doubt about it.

Sirius has a complicated relationship with his mother and it is *not* merely hatred. Note that he did not destroy his mother's portrait, or slash it as he did with the Fat Lady's. I'm confident that he could've figured out a way to destroy it or otherwise get rid of it, but he doesn't. His refuge is in his mother's old room with Buckbeak. There's something very complicated in his relationship with his family that can't be labeled as simple loathing. Sirius may have run away from home at 15/16, but his background 100% shaped him and left its mark on his personality and psyche.

Sirius was good friends with Lily. The letter from Lily to Sirius is great proof of that - it wasn't James who wrote that letter, but LILY. Sirius was smiling and genuinely happy at Jily's wedding.

Sirius is emotionally driven, and lashes out *with good reason.* When he goes after Wormtail the night the Potters died, it's because Harry is taken away from him. He has nothing to hold him down - and even gives his motorbike to Hagrid. When he tries to get to Wormtail in PoA, he slashes the portrait but doesn't harm a single boy in his search for the rat. When he goes to the Department of Mysteries, his focus is on Harry. These are good reasons, even if it puts him in danger.

Sirius has a great sense of humor. He puts little Santa hats on the decapitated elf heads. He chases pigeons as Padfoot just to make Harry smile. He sends a good luck note with a muddy paw print. He is scathingly funny, when he derides Peter's hero worship of James in Snape's Worst Memory. He's bitter and sarcastic. We love to see it.

Sirius is a baby boomer. He was born in 1959. "Ok, boomer," is an applicable retort.

Sirius is not misogynistic. He does not hate women. He is often kinder to women than men. He helps Ginny up in OoTP. No matter how angry he gets at Molly, he is never, ever physical with her (unlike the way Sirius is with snape, who he does get physically aggressive with). He is kind to Hermione. He had a great relationship with Lily. Even in the end, his last words to Bellatrix are 'you can do better than that.'

Sirius does not have a canonical love interest.

Sirius is willing to challenge Dumbledore. This is an important point - with so many people deferring to Dumbledore's judgment, including Remus, the Weasleys, and Harry - Sirius will challenge him and his decisions. He may not get his way, but Sirius has the personal strength and confidence to challenge one of the greatest wizards of all time.

Sirius was great with animals. Crookshanks and Buckbeak are prime examples of this.

Sirius is deeply flawed: he can get very intense. He can be rash, even if he has good reasons. He can be bitter to the point of hurting others ('the risk would've made it fun for James'). He can be cruel and condescending (my robes have enough filth without you touching them/wormail will piss himself with excitement). He can be callous (wishing it was the full moon, sending Snape on a potentially deadly adventure). He's a hurricane of deep, complex emotions.

Canon Sirius would obliterate fanon Sirius.

Happy birthday, Sirius. You would've loved James Sirius, Albus Severus, and Lily Luna. You'd have had the time of your life at Hinny's wedding. You are an absolute king.

[aleksiej]

being eastern european, the portrayal of communism in disco elysium is so special to me.

spoilers for the end of the game as well as some eastern european history tangents i guess

i was raised on a us cartoons and soviet-era cartoons and black-and-white movies about the "good communists" and "bad capitalists" and my parents always made it very clear to me what was propaganda in all of them

the american dream existed to me until i was about 9 years old and it never did since

the situation poland was in during the USSR was better than some (especially ukraine), but it also was miles behind even the western half of germany or the supposedly "punished" japan

the systems in place at the time were no good, as much is clear in any and all movies from the era, especially the comedies, which were the only movies from that time we watched, besides historical fiction pieces

the systems were failing because of USSR's imperialism and totalitarianism and because people would rather cheat their neighbors than play fair, which perhaps is just the human condition, or perhaps we're just particularly mean

all that said, disco elysium is precious to me because it doesn't sugar-coat. yes, communism is an ideal, one that we might never achieve. at the end of the day, we hope and work and work and work harder, maybe to never see results of our labor.

the deserter especially embodies that idea, that communism failed, in disco elysium and in history of the USSR. it feels hopeless, and the feeling is only magnified in the conversation with the guy himself.

he claims communism died with his comrades and that may be true.

but we are (sometimes or never or for the third playthrough in a row) a communist. we argue and everyone looks at us with pity or puzzlement or a conviction that it is all a passing fancy of harry's. of us.

and don't get me started on the communist club that harry can go to in-game. the commentary on excessive labeling and leftist in-fighting and clasist bullshit present still in leftist spaces might be too much for one post to bear. even tho i always end up long-winded and rambling.

point is, disco elysium is great and this post was fueled by the infamous "woke games" list that categorized it as "mentions communism, unsure if in a positive or negative sense".

because duh, it's positive. and realistic. life ain't sunshine and roses and fighting for what you think is right is not easy.

communism won't fix everything, it probably won't even fix you, but it's an ideal. one that we ought to work towards, even, if it's unreachable.

[twopoppies]

Not to deflect attention away from Harry but why is he the only one ever getting blamed for the hiatus, why isn't zayn?

I think Harry is blamed because of things said after the hiatus about Louis being "blindsided" by it and that he had only begun to feel he'd found his place in the band before that. People took It as an absolute fact instead of a marketing spin that might explain why he took some time to release his album. Thus, because Harry was the only one who hit the ground running, he was to blame. Also, there was some talk about Harry being the one who brought it up originally and who felt the band was reaching a point where it would be better to leave while they were still wanted, as opposed to overstaying their welcome.

Zayn alluded to "someone" not wanting to re-sign contracts and that he left so he could get his music out first (likely also a PR spin, but there's no way the hiatus was a surprise just a couple months before it happened).

And basically, because Harry had been labeled as the one who would be "the breakout star" since probably 2012/2013, there were some loud and obnoxious people who decided Harry had been plotting to take over the world since then and that he didn't care about any of the other guys as long as he was a success. They worked overtime to rewrite history, sow doubt among the fans, and further divide them. And it worked.

Liam said Harry cried when they decided on the hiatus. I think H saw the writing on the wall. The five of them were running on fumes. Liam was battling his addictions already (and said he'd likely have died if they hadn't taken a break), Zayn seemed to be struggling with his disordered eating and anxiety, 1D's album and ticket sales were starting to drop after Midnight Memories and the WWA tour. Harry may have been planning a solo career, but he also may have been the only one with any foresight.

People love to blame Harry for everything they don't like because he's technically the most successful. Thus, he got everything he wanted, never struggled, has no trauma, didn't care about any of the others, has all the freedom to do whatever he wants and is a terrible person. Blah, blah, blah.

[serverusslaype]

Shameless, pt. 9

Severus Snape x professor!reader fic

Shameless Masterpost

hello my fellow snape lovers. i think you will love this chapter. hehehehe. thats all i am saying. and you might hate mcgonagall. </3

you can thank harry styles' song 'fine line' for the ending of this chapter. oop.

thank you for reading so far and for all your kind comments, likes and reblogs! I LOVE YOU GUYS <3

i apologise in advance for any typos or anything along those lines, i suck at proofreading.

VAMOS!!

Your throat tightened as you stared at your dishevelled appearance in the dirty, old mirror that sat crookedly in your greenhouse; overgrown vines of poison ivy enveloping it, slowly reclaiming it.

"Shit..." You muttered, angling your face to gaze at the marks that Snape had so graciously left on your jaw. "For Merlin's sake..." You spun away from the mirror with a distressed huff and headed towards your cabinet in a sweep, kneeling down against the mossy tiles, searching for a herb of some sort that had healing properties. Or something along those lines. You were desperate at this point. "Dittany, dittany..." You mumbled to yourself, digging through shelves and shelves of dusty glass jars and containers. At once, your eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning as the sight of a worn label caught your attention. You thumbed the dust off of the yellowed and faded label, reading it aloud, "D.. di-di-an...y?" You muttered, only noticing how worn the writing really was once you pulled it out into the light. How long has this been in here...?

That has to be dittany, you thought, curious eyes scanning the long and slender, deep mossy green stem that branched out with smaller rounded leaves. You blew against the jar with a sharp breath, a ball of dust and dirt puffing up in your face. You coughed and quickly retrieved your wand, swiftly flicking it to make the heap of dust dissipate. Well, you'd certainly lacked on cleaning your cabinets during the past year, but it's not like that kind of thing had any space in your mind. It was full of... other things.

Your fingers clutched the lid of the glass jar and lifted it upwards, a gentle, spicy yet mountainous smell filling your nostrils. As you placed the lid down with a loud clack, you reached your hand into the jar to retrieve a stem of dittany. You hoped to god this would work, otherwise you'd reluctantly resort to make-up, and that would be even worse. Not that you were awful at using it, but your skintone was almost impossible to match perfectly. You padded back to the rusty mirror in your greenhouse, the richer herbal smell of the dittany invading your lungs as you held it up to your face, preparing yourself to rub it vigorously against the darkening fingertip marks upon your jaw.

"Merlin, please, let this work." You mumbled with a deep breath, pinching the dittany and beginning to massage it into your marked face. You couldn't bear to watch for fear of it not working, so you shut your eyes, avoiding your own reflection. Desperately rubbing a herb against your face to get rid of some suspicious looking marks so the man you were seeing wouldn't accuse you of seeing someone else? Yes, that's you. Dedicated clown.

Hesitantly, you wrenched open your eyes. From what you saw, the herb had done nothing but give you a red rash, in fact, it actually highlighted the purpling bruises. You wanted to launch a rock through a window. Why couldn't Snape just keep his hands off of you? Why did he always resort to touching you? Not that you were complaining- well, actually, this time you were. His reckless actions were going to get you in trouble, but you couldn't exactly blame him. You hadn't told anyone that you were seeing the infamous Benjamin Bluewater. So why wouldn't he... grab your jaw in a fit of rage? Speaking of this, you hadn't really discussed a label with Ben, though, sometimes, he made you think that he wasn't particularly interested in putting a label on your relationship. It didn't bother you, but you'd prefer to know what you were. Were you exclusive? Not exclusive? Was he dating or seeing other people?

What really piqued your interest was what Snape would think of you dating Bluewater. He despised that boy with a burning passion. He'd probably lose a lot of respect for you, surely? But Ben had changed, you'd seen it for yourself.

"Hagrid, tell me that you didn't willingly let the students approach Buckbeak without proper guidance..." You sighed deeply, perched on a felled tree stump as you watched the half-giant-half-man gather some herbs from his personal garden. As the day had progressed onwards, the marks that littered your skin had died down a little, so much so that Hagrid hadn't noticed. Perhaps the dittany did help?

"Am tellin' ya, Y/N, the boy didn't listen!" Hagrid exclaimed, quite clearly stressed. He picked and pulled at the luscious shrubs rather aggressively, placing the stems and leaves into a wicker basket he was holding in his opposite hand. "I told 'im ta' stop!" He continued, his voice strained and panicking. Hagrid stood straight for a moment, his head shaking in a quick back and forth motion. "T-They're gonna want to 'ave Buckbeak slain, I tell ya," he stuttered, "they won't let this go! I'll lose me job too, Y/N!" His voice went up an octave as he glanced at you, his eyes glossed with fear. Hagrid truly cared for his animals deeply, and it pained you to see him so distressed over an accident.

"Hagrid, it'll be alright, I-"

"Y/N," Hagrid interrupted you, a stern look adopted his worn features. You instantly shut your mouth. "This is the Malfoy's we're talkin' abou'. They don't care for nothin', n' they ain't care for anyone but themselves." He finished, turning to look at his hut for a moment, big and grey clouds were starting to push their way across the dim blue sky.

"So... there's no other way? Buckbeak will be killed...?" You asked hesitantly, a lump forming in your throat as the thought of the silver hippogriff slipped into your mind. Hagrid was right, Buckbeak didn't deserve this. But what could you do? You were powerless.

Hagrid only nodded at you gravely, averting his eyes back to the garden in front of him, sucking in his bottom lip as if to stop the tears that had formed in his eyes from falling. You quickly rushed from your tree stump to Hagrid, wrapping your arms around him as much as you could. In this very moment, all you could offer the man was comfort. And so you did.

"It'll be alright, Hagrid." You mumbled against his musky smelling, tatty brown jacket, pressing the side of your face into his large, protruding stomach. A sharp inhale of air sounded from above, and you knew he was sobbing now. "It's okay." You whispered with glossy eyes, leaning back to glance up at Hagrid as he stared sorrowfully at the ground; his big, brown eyes wet with regretful tears. Gods, this was breaking your heart.

"He don't deserve this, Y/N!" Hagrid cried, his gigantic hands rushing to clutch you against his shaking body as he sobbed. "He don't, he's a good boy, he is." He muttered through broken cries. You had to bite down on your lip to stop yourself from breaking down into sobs too. As much as you wanted to cry with Hagrid, you wanted to be strong for him - like he was when you came running, crying hysterically because of... Severus.

It felt weird to use his first name. You hadn't used it since... you couldn't even remember when. You only called him Snape now, and it hurt you to do so.

A couple days had passed by since your incident with Snape, and he had found himself lurking in your greenhouse, sneakily searching for ingredients for his upcoming future classes. The screech of an owl hooked Snape's nose up and away from your cabinets and to the door of your greenhouse. He ducked, cursing, as a Spectacled Owl swooped over his head, the sweep of it's wings making Snape's raven-black hair fly outwards. He watched as it dropped a rather beautiful bouquet of flowers on your desk with a muffled thud, proceeding to fly out of an open ceiling window and perch itself on a tree branch to the right of it. The owl hooted as it watched Snape curiously with big, beady eyes. The Potions Master observed it for several seconds, his eyes narrowing inquisitively. Once he deemed it safe to move, Snape shuffled towards the bouquet, his eyes instantly finding a note attached. He slowly shifted his fingers towards it, opening the folded piece of parchment. His brows furrowed as it read:

Dearest Y/N,

I hope these stunning flowers find you well, the moment I saw them, they instantly reminded me of you, and I had to have them.

Since the day we parted from each other, you have not left my mind. You have ensorcelled me. Enchanted and charmed me. The sweet sound of your perfect laugh lives in my mind, and Merlin, how I miss the way that your smile bewitched my heart each time I had the honour of laying my blessed eyes upon it. 

I do hope Hogwarts is treating you well. If it isn't, you know where to find me.

B.B x

Snape's stomach instantly twisted into a painful, egregious knot as his eyes continuously scanned over the sentimental note. You were seeing someone? Since when? More importantly, who was 'B.B'? Was it serious? It seemed to be, from Snape's basic knowledge of flowers, he knew they were high-quality, expensive ones. The thick, shiny material they were cocooned in also added to his conclusion. Whoever you were seeing was willing to spend a good amount of gold on you. Then, perhaps, was it an admirer? Someone trying to court you? No, it couldn't be, the note said-

Almost as fast as those thoughts had entered Snape's mind, he wiped them away, shaking his head aggressively as he let go of the note between his fingers, backing away from the flowers like a fearful doe. No, he wasn't doing this today. Not ever, actually.

Snape's eyes reluctantly fell to where you usually left a quill and parchment - specifically for him to note down what he'd taken. But it wasn't there. His brows knitted together, perplexed, as he glanced around the room for your quill and parchment. His eyes fell back onto the bouquet of flowers that 'B.B' had sent you. Snape's jaw clenched as he grudgingly padded forwards again, his hand reaching out slowly to lift up the neatly-wrapped bouquet. His hunch was right. That damned bird of yours had dropped the large bouquet on top of his quill and parchment, almost like a silent 'fuck you'. Snape had to force himself not to hex the poor animal as he retrived the materials, placing them beside the flowers to quickly scribble down the ingredients he required.

Snape felt something like a knife poke at his heart as he let his eyes glance over at the handwritten note again, staring at it with cruel eyes. A wave of disgust rushed through his body as he re-read the sickly sweet words. As much as he despised and envied the person behind the note, he couldn't help but agree with how they described you.

Over the next week at Hogwarts, more and more notes, flowers and small gifts began to turn up in your greenhouse. You had felt a bit smothered by Ben, but you gave him the benefit of the doubt - perhaps gift-giving was his love language. As time went on, you noticed that Snape began to slack in leaving notes of what he'd borrowed for his lessons. This confused you slightly, Snape was not someone that neglected agreements or promises. So, you just put it down to being an accident rather than on purpose. You weren't sure if you did that for the peace of your own mind, or hoping it was true.

Snape found himself assigned to the nightly patrol shift this Friday evening. He was a little miffed about it since he had planned to kick back in his room and bury his nose in a book he'd picked up on a subtle trip to Hogsmeade. Ever since he'd read that note in your greenhouse, he'd turned a little more bitter towards people. Including you. The only way he had figured out to hide something as petty and trivial as the feeling of jealousy was by acting a little colder to people. Everyone knew him as the callous and heartless Professor Snape, so it's not as if the students or staff alike would be alarmed by his extra bitterness.

As the Potions Master was strolling absentmindedly in the outside grounds of Hogwarts, two shadowy figures had caught his eye. Instinctively, he drew his wand, his fingers tightening around it. He crouched down a tad, narrowing his eyes in a feeble attempt to try and work out who the possible intruders were. Surely it was just two students out after curfew, right? Though, that idea came crashing down when he heard the sweet sound of your muffled laugh. His body ran cold as another heavenly, song-like giggle reached his ears. What were you doing out so late at night? …And who were you with?

"I'm sorry I kept you so late," Ben said quietly, squeezing your hand as you glanced up at him, the two of you strolling through the outside grounds of Hogwarts. The two of you kept your voices down as it was past midnight now, and you weren't exactly desiring the idea of getting caught. "I didn't expect the pub to stay open past eleven o'clock!"

"It's alright, work was rather stressful this week anyway. I needed a good break." You giggled, quickly placing a hand over your mouth to muffle it. Ben couldn't help but grin amusedly at your widened eyes.

"And you told me I had to be quiet," Ben mused, his eyes flicking back to the ground in front of him. You rolled your eyes at him and nudged him with a playful elbow. "But what happened with work? Annoying first years?" He teased. Oh, he had no idea.

A class of seventh years had been stressing you out since Tuesday afternoon when Jasper Greenlichen, a very intelligent and passionate budding Herbologist, made some fatal mistakes on a mock exam. The second you handed his results back to him, you hadn't expected, nor prepared yourself for such an intense meltdown of emotions. Since that moment, he was nonstop asking questions and asking for your expert opinion on certain ways to structure answers. The boy was absolutely obsessed with improving, and it was becoming extremely tiring for you. You could only help him so much.

"I wish," You groaned, shaking your head for a moment. "Seventh years, actually, one of them had a total meltdown when he did quite badly on a mock exam I'd set up for them." You explained, sighing exhaustedly. "From then on, it was chaos for me. I'd actually started dreading teaching for once!"

"Oh blimey," Ben grimaced at your words. "Sounds terrible." He added with a laugh, pulling you into his arms with a tug. A quiet squeak slipped from your throat as you fell into his chest, his hands snaking down to your waist suggestively.

"Ben," You warned, trying to hide the smile that was tugging at your lips. The bright, pale moonlight glimmered down upon the two of you, illuminating you like two shards of broken glass in the sunlight.

"What?" He asked innocently, frowning as if he was being falsely accused of murder. "I've missed you." He muttered. Your stomach twisted at his words. Had you missed him as well? The only time Ben had poked at your brain was when you'd been with Snape...

"Me too." You replied, staring up at him. Did you just lie to him? Perhaps. Is it terrible if you felt nothing the moment those three words left his lips? Definitely. What a fucking mess.

With Ben facing against the moonlight, the shadows cast on his face made his nose appear slightly larger, and his eyes seemed to turn dark. Were you imagining this...?

Before you could continue to question yourself, Ben's smile faded and his brows furrowed as his hand rose up to your jaw, grasping it gently with his fingertips. Your blood ran cold as he angled your jaw towards the light, encouraging it to illuminate the fading bruises on your jaw. Fuck, there was no way this was happening right now.

"What's this?" He questioned softly, his tone flat. You swallowed, anxiety bubbling at your fingertips as they began to tingle. What the hell were you meant to say?

"Oh, it's nothing," You laughed lightly, leaning away from his concerned touch. Sure, some bouncing bulbs could have caused small, red marks on your face, right? "I was teaching some first-years a couple days ago, some bouncing bulbs got loose." You quickly lied, smiling up at Ben, praying he'd just let it go.

"Are you okay?" He asked once more, his eyes flicking up to yours, burning with worry. A wave of relief washed over you as he believed you. If you'd told him the truth, you weren't sure how he'd react. Perhaps he'd curse Snape's classroom to smell awfully for eternity, or maybe he'd do worse... but you didn't want to think about that right now.

"Yeah, I'm alright, it's happened before." You laughed again, quietly, staring at Ben for any sign of doubt on his face. He continued to study your injured jaw, not seemingly convinced.

"Alright," he nodded at you with a curt sigh, letting it go. "As long as you're not in pain." Ben smiled down at you, pressing a gentle kiss to your marked jaw, trailing his lips to towards your parted ones. A gasp left your lips as Ben pulled you closer to him, his fingers digging into your waist hungrily. He kissed you a little harder, and you had to push him away slightly, releasing yourself from his lips.

"Ben, remember where we are." You said quietly, nodding to the grounds of Hogwarts that the two of you were currently stood in. "Someone could see us." You warned, a sheepish and awkward smile picking at the corners of your lips.

"So what?" Ben smirked as he leaned in to kiss you again, his reckless personality rearing it's head once more. You placed a firm hand against his chest, placing some space between you.

"I'm serious." You said again, your tone switching from playful to stern. Ben sighed, nodding, as he waved his white flag and surrendered to your demands. "Thank you." You smiled up at him, patting his chest gently, watching how as he turned his head, that familiar looking shadow cast over his features again, transforming him into your true desire. You tore your gaze away from his face as your heartbeat began to pick up in speed, memories of you and a certain brooding Potion Master flooding your mind. "I should really get going now." You quickly muttered, swallowing the lump of anxiety in your throat as you glanced to the right, avoiding his eyes.

Was this how your life was going to be now? Everytime you looked at someone you tried to move on with, his face would appear? Everywhere you looked, the thought of him would slide into your mind effortlessly - at this point, you were wondering if he had slipped you some sort of potion when you weren't looking.

"Oh right, yeah... I forgot it was so late," Ben laughed awkwardly, noticing your subtle change in demeanour. He wondered if he'd done something wrong. "I'll come and see you again soon, Y/N." He pushed past the niggling feeling in his mind and smiled at you, leaning forwards to press a kiss to your cheek. His hand brushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear, and you returned his smile, the overwhelming feeling of guilt beginning to nibble away at your bones. This man was treating you like a princess and all you could think about was the man that had roughly grabbed you by your jaw the other day, leaving bruises on it.

"Send me an owl first, I'd like to be prepared this time." You hummed, referring to how Ben had caught you in your messy casualwear, tending to the plants in your greenhouse and covered in filth. It wasn't a pretty sight - well in your opinion, at least. "See you soon, Ben." You smiled at him as you turned to leave, a ghastly, freezing breeze of cold air suddenly tickling your skin.

"See you later, and... get back safe, please." Ben said wearily as he glanced about, having noticed the sudden drop in temperature as well. You nodded at him and pulled your shawl tighter around you, trying to ward off the cold that was now biting at your bare shoulders. You'd quickly slipped on a dark, rich emerald green dress that fell to the floor, and was slightly cinched at your waist in a shirred fashion, with baggy, ballooned sleeves that reached your wrists. You'd also opted to bring a thick, warm dusty rose-coloured shawl that was currently wrapped tightly around your shoulders.

Walking back to the grand entrance of the castle, your brows knitted together as your eyes stared at the ground that was suddenly frosting over, wilting flowers and withering plants. A feeling of uneasiness permeated your ice-cold skin as you let your eyes glaze over the frozen ground, the clouds above you suddenly turning deathly grey. Your heart began to pound as you immediately took off in a sprint, desperately trying to reach Hogwarts before whatever the hell was coming could get to you.

The air was dead, silent and motionless. Only the sound of your crunching footfalls and your chattering teeth pierced the blanket of silence. You were praying that you were only imagining this, there was no way you could fend off a dementor. As you ran, your hands began to clench and unclench, a layer of sweat forming within them as you continued to run as fast as you could, your chest heaving with complete fear as the cold began to invade your body. You felt as if you were going to die right then and there, dementor or not, your heart was going absolutely mental, pounding against your ribs like an insane prisoner, begging to be let out. Your legs began to slow as the freezing cold began to overpower your body, numbing your legs and sending you tumbling to the ground. You fell to your hands and knees, tears streaming down your face, still desperate to escape as you clambered forwards in vain.

The chilling temperature was becoming too much for your body to withstand, and so you fell to the side, a paralysing scream leaping from your lungs as your worst nightmare suddenly swept in front of you. It floated in front of you, as if taunting you. The haunting noise of a rattling, sucking-like sound surrounded you like a bubble. You stared up at the dementor, your mouth agape in horror, fearful tears brimming your eyes as you watched on helplessly. Your lungs burned with each strangled breath you stole, your limp body falling backwards against the ground, as the dementor glided closer to you, finally kissing you.

You felt as if you were drowning. Your lungs felt as if they were filled with water, stealing your breath away, leaving you to suffocate. All you could see was the dementor, it's menacing appearance rendering you immobile. You were paralysed. You couldn't move, you couldn't run away. This was it, this was how you died.

Then, suddenly, a bright white light pierced the darkness that had almost swallowed you whole. It was almost blinding as you glanced towards it, your vision blurring. You struggled on the ground, your eyes fighting to stay open as they caught a glimpse of what looked to be like... a... doe?

As you let your eyes roll back to the gloomy and black sky above you, it felt like you were in slow motion - everything was spinning and the lids of your eyes were feeling heavier and heavier; the freezing cold that once had you within it's grasp subsiding. The roar of rushing blood in your ears muffled the screaming voice from afar. You wanted to scream out, to beg them for help, but you couldn't. Your voice was no where to be heard.

As you laid motionless upon the frosted grass, your muscles relaxed, your body finally caving as the black abyss swallowed your vision.

Peace.

A quiet rustling of what sounded like metal against metal stirred you awake. You felt your fingers twitch as you gradually shuffled the tiniest bit against some soft sheets that you'd been carefully wrapped up in.

"She's awake." A soft, feminine voice called out from beside you; your eyes slowly, but painfully fluttering open.

"How are you feeling?" A familiar, warm voice poked at your ears. You blinked as your eyes followed the source of the sound, a blanket of relief encasing you as you saw Professor Lupin perched on a chair beside where you laid.

"Erm," You croaked, sitting up on your elbows in a leisurely manner. "What the hell happened?" You asked quietly, confused. Glancing about the room with squinted eyes, you noticed that you were in the hospital wing, sat in a bed, neatly wrapped up like a cocooned caterpillar in blankets.

"You were attacked by a dementor." Lupin put it simply, though he kept his tone soft, a hint of concern laced beneath. "Do you remember anything?" He further questioned you, curious. You looked back to him, letting yourself fall back into the bed. "Here," Lupin reached into his pocket, pulling out a chocolate bar. "It'll help." He said, offering it to you.

You took it gratefully, unwrapping the crackly plastic covering slowly, feeling your mouth suddenly salivate at the sight of the sugary treat. "Thank you, Remus." You smiled weakly at him whilst trying to wrack your brain for any remaining memories of the attack, taking a bite out of the chocolate. You sat there for a moment, staring down at your lap as you sifted through your memories, chewing at a slow pace. You remembered leaving Ben, then the cold... that was it... "No, I'm sorry." You mumbled, feeling a little useless.

"Don't apologise, we're all just very glad you're okay." Remus smiled at you, his moustache twitching. You nodded in agreement with him, keeping quiet. "You were lucky that Severus was there to save you that night." Your eyes instantly snapped to Lupin's, widening in surprise.

"Wait, what?" You choked out. It felt like someone had just punched your chest. Snape saved you? How did he...? Remus seemed a little concerned at your reaction as his brows knitted together in slight curiosity. "Sna... Severus was the one...?" You breathed out, shock stiffening your body, your throat tightening as your lips spoke his name.

"He was." Remus tilted his head at you, inquisitive blue eyes studying you. "He was on duty that night and heard your screams."

You couldn't believe what was coming out of Remus's mouth. Were you dreaming? Were you in some horrible, twisted nightmare? You had so many questions running through your mind that you couldn't keep up.

"Also, you keep saying 'that night', how long have I been... here?" You questioned Lupin, your voice weakening as you glanced around the hospital wing, noticing how empty it was. Only one other person was here and it was a student dressed in a Quidditch outfit with an icepack resting on his forehead. You deduced that he had probably fallen off of his broom during a match.

"Just over two days, Y/N." Remus replied slowly, continuing to observe you for any possible ailments. You blinked.

"What day is it?"

"Sunday," The professor replied before twisting his arm to check his watch. "Six fifty-two in the evening, to be exact."

"Right," You exhaled slowly, staring up at the ceiling, becoming lost in your thoughts. You thought you were alone outside. Why did- how did Snape know you were there? Did this mean something? Was this his way of- no, don't be silly, for Merlin's sake.

It's merely a coincidence, you chastised yourself. I should be glad he was there, I wouldn't be sat here right now if he wasn't, you thought, sighing frustratedly through your nostrils.

"I need to talk to him." You said quickly, beginning to sit up but Lupin quickly pushed you back down into the bed, his mouth flattening into a straight line.

"You need to rest." He replied sternly, his hand resting firmly against your shoulder as he forced you back down.

"I feel perfectly fine, Remus. I appreciate your concern but-"

"I'm sorry, but it's Madam Pomfrey's orders." He cut you off, an apologetic look softening his features. You sighed at him, a little irritated, but you understood where he was coming from. You did need to rest up, you didn't feel like you were in the best of headspaces. You still felt a little disorientated.

There was a moment of silence before you reluctantly gave in, giving Lupin a soft nod, avoiding his eyes. "Fine." You settled into the hospital bed, glancing out at the window to your right, watching quietly as beads of rain dripped down the glass pane.

"If you need anything, please do not hesitate to ask me." Lupin smiled warmly at you. You hummed quietly, returning his smile.

"Actually, Remus, erm," You cleared your throat, shuffling under the pale white sheets. "I was hoping to ask you if you could mentor me? To produce a patronus charm?" You asked, fidgeting with your fingers. Lupin's brow quirked at your proposal.

"Of course," Remus nodded as the surprised expression that had slipped onto his face clearly showed that he wasn't expecting you to ask him such a question. "We can start on Tuesday, seven o'clock. My classroom."

You felt your body relax at his answer. "Thank you so much." You said, your smile widening.

"It's my pleasure, Y/N, now please, get some rest." A gentle chuckle rumbled within Lupin's chest as he tilted his head at you like a parent would at their child. You scrunched your nose up at him jokingly and rolled over onto your side, tugging the blanket up and over your shoulders.

"Goodnight, Remus." You said quietly with a hint of amusement in your tone, closing your eyes. As the echo of his receding footsteps began to grow quieter and quieter as he left, you let your body finally rest, gradually dozing off.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" Snape's deep, languid voice echoed from behind his door, sending a nervous shiver down your spine. You'd slipped out of your hospital bed once you had woken up, determined to pay Snape a visit, despite the storm of butterflies swirling in your stomach. When you checked the clock before leaving, it had struck almost eleven-thirty at night.

You pursed your lips, slipping inside his office and leaning against the back of the door as it clicked shut. "How did you know it was me?" You asked a little awkwardly as your eyes flicked to Snape who still had his nose buried in a pile of assignments atop of his neatly-arranged desk. A flutter of envy flew through your chest as you silently admired how organised the man was. Your desk was a mess, you barely had enough time to keep it clean, let alone organised.

"Few people opt to bother me at such an... ungodly hour." Snape sighed, rather exhaustedly, not bothering to glance at up you. Usually you'd chastise him for ignoring you, but you felt like you owed him your life from the whole ordeal a couple days ago, so you chose to brush past the bitterness in his voice. Snape spoke again after several seconds of silence. "Speaking of, what is it that you need from me?"

"Erm," you choked, eyes falling anxiously to the floor, "I just wanted to... say thanks." You said, silently dreading Snape's reply as you looked back up to find him staring at you. Your body ignited at the sight, and you could feel your cheeks starting to burn. Nothing has changed then, you thought, a little embarrassed and somewhat disappointed in yourself.

"I believe we spoke about saying 'thanks'." Snape quirked a brow at you, his dark eyes scrutinising you as you leant against his office door. You huffed at him. He paused for a moment, studying your weak, pale-looking body. "Nevertheless, you're welcome. I suppose such a situation... warrants a thank you." He added, tone flat.

There was another blanket of awkward silence. "Who were you with?" He asked. Your blood ran cold. Here we go, you thought.

"Remember a year ago, when we were brewing the Mandrake Draught?" You spoke hesitantly, avoiding Snape's intense gaze. He hummed, as if to encourage you to continue. "Remember when we spoke about Benjamin Bluewater?" You added, voice going quiet at the end. You braved a glance at the Potions Master, who now looked very disappointed. Fuck.

"You were with... Bluewater?" Snape tried to hide the jealousy in his voice. "Why were you with such a scoundrel so late at night?" You flinched at his harsh tone.

"He's changed, Snape, he's not the same troublemaker as he was in school," you sighed, "he's working at the Ministry of Magic, for Merlin's sake."

"I highly doubt a boy such as him can 'change', Y/N." Snape hissed, averting his eyes back to the parchment in front of him. He felt his skin burning with anger as you spoke about Bluewater so casually. Your heart leapt at the sound of your name leaving his lips.

"And how do you know that, Severus?" You scoffed at him. Snape's hardened eyes snapped up to yours, your harsh tone obviously hitting a nerve in him.

"Boys like him do not change, Y/N, they merely manipulate you to think so." He sneered at you. "And a woman like you is an easy target." He added, igniting a once-extinguished rage within you.

"Excuse me?" Your brows furrowed together furiously. Snape stared at you, an icy glare plastered on his pale face. "A woman like me?"

"You are far too trusting, Y/N," Snape bit, baring his teeth as he rose from his desk, "you are a true Hufflepuff. You have no respect for yourself; you struggle with the prospect of being alone so you reduce yourself to be with a lowlife such as Bluewater." The booming of your heart began to deafen you as you listened to Snape's ruthless words, each syllable digging a knife deeper into your chest. "Are you so afraid of the idea of loneliness that you really think you belong with a miscreant such as him?" He spat at you as you spun on your heels, rushing towards his door, the reality of his words becoming too hard for you to handle. You were breathing so heavily that each breath you took was starting to burn your throat, like you had swallowed the thorny stem of a rose.

Your shaking hand hovered over the handle of his office-door, lingering as you debated between running away like you always did, or confronting your fears.

You turned around, facing Snape with glossy eyes and red cheeks, unafraid. "You have no idea what you're talking about." You hissed at him furiously, stalking towards the raven-haired man with such determination that it made him flinch out of surprise.

"Don't I?" Snape mused, returning to his usual stoic and cold demeanour. He stood tall, towering over your shorter figure, his lips curling up into a sneer as he bent down to look at you in your teary eyes. "I taught the boy for seven years, Y/N. You think I do not know him better than you do?" 

"I..." You stuttered, snapping your jaw shut as you tipped your chin down, submitting to Snape's cruel tone. 

"You deserve better than him." Snape said quietly, softening his tone as he noticed your form trembling with bottled rage and frustration. He pitied you in this moment, in fact, he wished he could save you from such heartache, but it wasn't his place. Not now, not ever.

"You don't know what I deserve, Severus." You bit back in a harsh whisper. Snape's jaw ticked and your chest tightened as his name fell from your lips for the first time in months. He swiftly moved from behind his desk in a sweep, his long, billowing cloak trailing behind him as he stood in front of you; an unusually calm expression softening the cold, unfeeling glare that once laid upon his features.

Snape parted his lips, staring down at you, mulling over his words for a brief moment. "No, I don't," He said quietly, tilting his head at you, studying your distraught eyes. "However, that does not mean I can't usher you in the right direction." He added, clasping his hands behind his back. "It... pains me to see you so... unhappy." You looked up at him, a stray tear embarrassing you as it rolled down your cheek. You quickly swiped it away, and looked away from him, staring at the record player that you had accidentally triggered all that time ago. You felt another bout of tears brim your eyes again as your mind replayed the tender memory of you and Snape sharing such an intimate moment together.

"How did you know where I was that night?" You questioned him quietly, ignoring his previous comment, desperate not to break down in tears in front of the man you had grown to adore.

"It wasn't hard to pinpoint your location when you were screaming bloody murder." Snape replied, a hint of faint amusement lingering in his tone. You huffed at his words, prompting him to quirk at brow at you questioningly.

"Yeah, well," You swallowed thickly, glancing back up at him through your wet lashes. If you asked him any more questions you were certain you'd start hysterically sobbing. "Thanks. Again." You choked out, nodding gently.

Severus hummed at you. He felt unusually warm as the two of you were silent, quietly savouring the rare, peaceful moment.

Your cheeks had pinkened again as you studied his face, your stomach going bananas as your eyes became glued to his. You felt yourself subconsciously leaning towards him, slowly, like the pull of two magnets. Snape's breath hitched in his throat as he watched your eyes drop to his lips, eyeing them hungrily. He hesitated slightly, his mind beginning to race with plentiful amounts of reason as to why he should stop what was about to happen, however, he found himself tossing them to the side, carelessly.

The way the soft, amber hue of the candles illuminated your wet cheeks made you look so fragile, he just wanted to cradle you indefinitely; an aching urge protect you from the outside world. You felt Severus nudge his prominent nose against yours in a gentle, tender gesture; your eyes fluttering at the intimacy. His hot breath was dancing across your face as the two of you grew closer, noses grazing.

Though, before your lips could meet, Snape's office door swung open, revealing Professor McGonagall clutching a candle dressed in her nightgown.

"Severu- oh!" She gasped, watching as the two of you quickly dispersed from each other. "Am I interrupting something?" McGonagall eyed the two of you inquisitively, her lips pouting together. You cleared your throat and clasped your hands together in front of you, blinking quickly. Your cheeks were still scorching hot.

"No." Severus quickly answered, broadening his shoulders as he dared to glance at you. He straightened his posture and averted his attention to his older colleague, staring at her expectantly. "What's the matter, Minerva?" He asked, an underlying tone of irritation in his voice. Your heart fluttered as you looked to Severus, noticing his usually pale face had a tinge of pink to it.

"Black is in the castle." She said with a worried voice, prompting you to snap your head up at Minerva. What? Sirius Black is inside Hogwarts?

Part 10!

oooooo THEY ALMOST KISSED? mcgonagall the cockblock, whoops. i hope you enjoyed another long chapter, please let me know what you thought!! <3 have a great day/night, im about to get some much needed rest :) im so excited to write the next part tomorrow oh my lordddd

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@captainrogers-19

@once-upon-an-imagine

[solarisburns]

Somewhere in the ministry archive there is a memory labelled:

"The phone call from Remus Lupin to Mary Macdonald informing her the war had been won."

This is what it contains.

“Mary.”

No.

No it can’t be. 

Anyone but her.

Anyone but Lily.

“Mary. Lily and James they’re, they’re just gone. Peter is dead, fuck, all that was left was his fucking finger. And Sirius is the bloody traitor. He killed them all. Everyone is dead.”

Her and Remus, thousands of miles apart; her in her dingy apartment living off a junior journalist's salary and him off fighting a mythical war, have never been more the same. They share choked off sobs and gasps of desperate air. The bitter tinge of impossible denial rests on their tongues only sweetened by the promise joining them or bloody revenge. Her shoulders sink with the weight of another responsibility, another fate she had tried to run from but will now carry for those who died taking it.

“Harry. Remus what happened to Harry? Is he?”

“Dumbledore has him. He uh, he killed Voldemort.”

“Dumbledore did?”

“No. Harry did.”

“I’ll be right there.”

[erinwantstowrite]

While Loki may be up to some shit, I still trust him. Honestly, I'm just a sucker for a Loki with a soft spot for Peter. But also, Peter & Dick made it sound like the only reason Peter was trusting Loki was because he was from Peter's worldline, BUT that's completely dismissing Peter's spidey sense which has declared Loki a friend.

Like, that's important!!!! The sense doesn't just react to who Peter trusts either, bc when he was cautious of the bats his spidey sense still labelled them friends. I'm pretty sure that while Loki is definitely up to something, he doesn't mean Peter any real harm. Especially since the spidey sense only seems to call those who want to help (and probably hold some form of care for) Peter friends. I trust the spidey sense more than anything.

If I'm being honest, whether or not all of what Loki said was true, he does have a big point on that they didn't and don't tell Peter crucial information. I'm a big advocate for actually explaining to kids WHY they should not do something rather than just telling them not to. Like, y'know, Peter's whole misunderstanding with why the avengers don't like Loki.

Keeping Peter in the dark is a terrible idea. Especially since as a super powered, mutant, vigilante he'll need to actually know things. I always like these sort of conflicts in texts, where an adult's wish to keep a kid ignorant for their own good actually endangers them. Like in the Harry Potter books, when Molly tries to keep the kids out of the Order meetings, despite it directly affecting Harry and in conjunction the others. (Harry is kept ignorant of most things in those books and it does NOT help). People should know of threats and dangers to themselves in detail, ESPECIALLY KIDS. Peter deserves to be involved in "adult business" because it directly affects him.

ANYWAY,, thank you for another great chapter!!! I love Loki he's such a little shit and so is Peter. They could be besties.

!!!!! 👀

Loki's definitely up to something, but you're pretty damn closes anon!! Peter hadn't picked up on it but a big part of his trust was that his spider sense hadn't felt a danger around Loki at any point. He's just upset about something. But Loki definitely has his own goals in mind and it might still cause a rift

As for the Avengers (teehee) I feel bad because they were definitely supposed to talk about it this chapter but I didn't have room. There's a lot in play about the adults wanting to keep Peter safe but misinterpreting 'safe' as not knowing the larger details about what they're doing. It's the root cause of the problem here. However in their defense... Peter got kidnapped and experimented on last time when he learned a big detail like that. He found out someone he cared about died as a result of these kidnappings, and he went looking for them on his own before he was ready. Peter will talk about this in chapter 17 when he tells Dick pretty much his entire life story (in a game of 21 questions again). It'll also be clear to the reader why they'd be nervous about letting Peter know about Loki... He lost his first foster family to the Battle of Manhattan. And Peter has a habit of going "punch first, figure out later." (Pulled that habit directly from the comics)

[dailytomlinson]

A deep dive into Louis Tomlinson's career, both solo and in One Direction, and how he's grown into one of pop music's most thoughtful songwriters.

With the first quarter of the 21st century coming to an end, Billboard has been looking back on the 25 Greatest Pop Stars of the Past 25 Years. Below, we take a deeper look into the solo career of Louis Tomlinson — one of the members of our No. 22 pop stars, One Direction — and how his songwriting, originally honed in 1D, has helped him develop into one of the group’s strongest breakout artists.

When One Direction officially went on hiatus in 2015, Zayn Malik dropped Mind of Mine in 2016, Harry Styles’ eponymous LP dropped in 2017, Niall Horan followed with Flicker later that year and Liam Payne’s First Time EP arrived in 2018. Louis Tomlinson, however, took his time with releasing a full project – and entered an era of healing and self-discovery that saw him realizing his potential as one of 1D’s most self-actualized artists, even if not necessarily the starriest.

Even before going solo, Tomlinson showed he was meant for breakthrough success while in One Direction. Longtime Directioners know that Tomlinson wrote more songs in One Direction than any other member, penning long standing hits including “Perfect,” “History” and “Fool’s Gold” and proving his fortitude as a songwriter who understands lyrical cleverness and crafting the indescribably catchy refrains necessary to produce arena-ready hits. Beyond his musical abilities, Tomlinson’s sense of humor and friendship with fellow 1D members also ensured fans had a soft spot for him.

However, when he did go solo, the road was slippery at first. He teamed up with Steve Aoki for his first solo release “Just Hold On” in December 2016, and just three days before its release, Tomlinson’s mother died of leukemia. He still took the stage to perform the song on The X Factor, the first public testament to the star’s strength and dedication to his musical craft.

Tomlinson’s resilience amid adversity continued as he navigated the music industry. The star signed with Epic Records in 2017 and released a few singles – including “Miss You” and the Bebe Rexha and Digital Farm Animals-assisted “Back to You.” While the infectious hooks to both tracks could have easily solidified Tomlinson as a pop mainstay, the two singles didn’t perform as well as expected on the charts: “Just Hold On” peaked at No. 52 on the Billboard Hot 100 and “Back to You” hit No. 40, while “Miss You” missed the chart altogether. Ultimately, a full-length album never materialized with Epic Records.

Tomlinson shortly got back on his feet, as he always does, and signed with Arista Records in 2019 – where he honed his talent as a songwriter, this time feeling comfortable enough to tackle more vulnerable topics in his music. His first release under the label was “Two of Us,” a heart-wrenching tribute to his late mother. “I know you’ll be looking down/ Swear I’m gonna make you proud/ I’ll be living one life for the two of us,” he sings in the chorus, giving a glimpse into what would soon become a musical career full of honesty and vulnerability.

Unfortunately, shortly after its release, another hardship struck Tomlinson’s life when his 18-year-old sister Fizzy died of an accidental overdose. Both the release of “Two of Us” and the tragedy that followed showed just how close Tomlinson’s community of fans is, as they showered him with online love and support in the months that followed.

After taking some much-deserved time to heal, he announced in August of that year that his debut solo album was on its way – and shortly after, he released a follow-up single, the rock-leaning, drumline-driven “Kill My Mind.” Tomlinson admitted that he finally found his stride. “I’m actually really proud and relieved to finally find my place, find my lane musically,” he told Hits Radio Breakfast at the time, indicating a moment of relief amid his turbulent few years.

Tomlinson’s debut solo album, Walls, arrived in January 2020 and while it hit the Billboard 200‘s top 10, it was met with mixed reviews from critics, who suggested that the heart he wanted to portray wasn’t quite there. His growth outside of commercial success proved otherwise, as he had been spending the past few years building a solid identity not only as an artist, but also as a person. While some of the other One Direction alums are still finding their footing with their solo sounds to this day, Tomlinson grew strongly into an instrumentation-focused pop-rock artist whose lyrics go beyond the cookie cutter sentiments you might expect from a former boy band member.

And soon, all the hard work – both personally and musically – finally paid off. Faith in the Future, his 2022 sophomore solo album, debuted at No. 1 on the Official U.K. Albums Chart. In the United States, Faith In The Future debuted at No. 2 on Billboard’s Top Album Sales chart, and at No. 5 on the all-genre Billboard 200, his highest-charting set yet on both tallies. The album’s success, as well his sold-out live shows on its accompanying tour, not only showed the still-standing Directioner devotion to Tomlinson, but also made it clear that he picked up a slew of new fans along the way.

Tomlinson’s self-awareness was evident on the album’s lead single, “Bigger Than Me.” “When somebody told me I would change/ I was afraid, I don’t know why/ ‘Cause so does the world outside, I’ve realized/ It’s bigger than me,” he sings – indicating that the key for solo success all along was being himself, and letting go of the pressure that fame brings.

While Tomlinson has still yet to score the major chart hits stateside that his 1D bandmates essentially achieved right away – and has been more focused on his 28 clothing line the past couple years – he’s proven that he doesn’t need traditional pop crossover success to have a bright future ahead of him. With another couple albums and tours that continue to establish his identity and expand his artistry, it wouldn’t be shocking to see him making the jump to arenas in the not-distant future. Louis’ solo career may not have gotten off to the perfect start, but it just might end up being perfect for him in the long-term anyway.

[aethon-recs]

Tomarrymort Dead Dove Recs, Part 2 🕊️

Thank you all for the wonderful reception to Part 1 of Tomarrymort Dead Dove recs! I was honestly blown away by the interest in this first list featuring Non-Con/Dub-Con recs. It was so incredibly heartening to see that the open-mindedness towards the taboo, the degenerate, the ‘problematic’ is not only alive and well, but thriving, in this ship, when it seems like it’s been reviled and sanitized out of other ships and communities and spaces within this fandom and elsewhere. But Tomarrymort readers seem to be a special breed 🤝 and I’m just so glad we can all be horny sickos together 🤍

For Part 2 of the Dead Dove rec list, the first half is comprised of incest fics, and the second half is chan (underage) fics. These aren’t all necessarily dark fic in terms of tone or plot (some fics are actually quite cozy); the dead dove label just serves as an indicator to take the tags seriously.

Please note there is potentially triggering and disturbing content in the rec list below (including in some of the summaries), so I will be placing all 25 of these recs below the cut. Keep in mind don’t like; don’t read, so feel free to scroll on by if either incest and/or chan is not a theme you would like to explore.

This list was made in collaboration with @danpuff-ao3’s Dead Dove Diaries Series. Check it out for other HP dead dove recs!

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Tomarrymort Incest Recs

Fruit of the Forbidden Tree (part 1) / Forbidden Indulgence (part 2) / Forbidden Darkness (part 3) by @neurowriter14 (E, 19k, complete)

The true parentage of Harry Potter was unknown to everyone except for three people. None remain, but another figures it out.

Hold Me Down (Fuck Me Up) by @itsevanffs (E, 15k, WIP)

Tom Riddle, chief of police, first met his nephew Harry Potter handcuffed to his desk, lip cut and knuckles bleeding, a proud smile on his lips and challenge in his eyes.

I Could Send You to Hell, I Know You by @dividawrites (E, 7k, complete)

Nothing about Harry Potter intrigues Tom—he's average in everything, doesn't act out in class, doesn't do very much at all, in fact. When he finds out they're related, though, this changes at once. After all, there's something to be said for family traditions.

In The Dark by @itsevanffs (E, 64k, WIP)

Harry's mother remarries shortly after his father's death to James' half-brother, Thomas, much to Harry's confusion and disgust. First a duke, now a king, it seems that nothing will stand in his uncle's way when it comes to getting what he wants. Not Lily, not propriety, and most certainly not Harry himself.

Infinite by @duplicitywrites (E, 8k, complete)

Harry and his twin brother Tom have the same mark. The same soulmate. Whoever their soulmate is, wherever they may be, they will go to Tom. Tom, however, has other plans.

Little Bits by @lordmarvoloriddle (E, 10k, complete) 

Inspired by Cinderella. Only there's no prince, and surely no one is singing about their feelings, and Harry's life could be a lot worse than having three step-brothers and a father who didn't like him. He's going to be proven right.

Plains of oblivion by @milkandmoon-ao3 (E, 3k, complete) 

Trapped in the past with no way home, a disillusioned Harry executes a plan to make an ally of the rising Dark Lord and reshape history.

Say It Right (part 1) /  Say You'll Haunt Me (part 2) by @rightonthelimitt (E, 32k, complete)

After James Potter dies, his wife and son have it rough. Their lives change for good when they meet Tom Riddle four years later, but is it for the better?

Seventeen Years by RenderedReversed (T, 10k, complete)

Voldemort is a day old when he realizes he’s been reborn to muggle parents and that he has a twin brother. He is a year old when it sinks in who his twin could possibly be. Because his twin might, possibly, probably be Harry Potter.

Summer Break by anon (E, 5k, WIP) 

A story of a brother's love and duty and terrible obsession.

the dark passenger by @cindle-writes (E, 5k, complete)

Harry had lived 17 years as a horcrux, and Ginny was possessed by another one, so is it all that surprising that their middle child reminds them a little bit too much of another boy they once knew?

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Tomarrymort Chan (Underage) Recs

Below Stairs by pauraque (E, 1k, complete)

Harry receives a visitor.

conversationalist by worn (E, 3k, complete)

As a boy who's known silence and solitude well, Harry finds himself quickly growing attached to Tom Riddle's diary and the way it has so much to talk with him about.

Creatures of the Dark we are by @hikarimeroperiddle (M, 20k, WIP)

Banished to his cupboard at age 4, Harry learns to listen only to the Voice in his head. Its teachings wrap all around Harry until no more than dark magic and devotion remains, along with visions of a wraith with red eyes.

Everything Green Is Gold by @cindle-writes (E, 27k, complete)

Prior to Hogwarts, Harry had stayed mostly invisible to the teachers and adults around him his whole life. But Tom Riddle, the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, looked at Harry like he was something to be wanted.

File A by @kushimanii (E, 7k, complete)

In a different universe, one where the prophecy was never heard and Voldemort won, Voldemort finds eight-year-old Harry Potter in the basement of Fenrir Greyback and takes him in.

he whistles and he runs by @wolfantlersinspace (E, 5k, complete)

"Tom," Harry murmured, ducking under a branch and nearly touching the top of Tom's diary with his lips, "I really don’t like this."

Hearthstone Abbey by @ramabear (E, 92k, WIP)

Harry follows Thomas Gaunt into his world much like he stepped onto Diagon Alley that first time, wide-eyed and full of wonder. He has no idea what exactly this world has in store for him, but he knows that with Thomas at his side, he is safe and happy for the first time in his whole life. 

Make a Wish by @crowcrowcrowthing (E, 3k, complete)

Tom Riddle is wasting away in his hospital bed, far too young to succumb to such a terrible and mysterious illness. The only thing that gives him solace is the hope that football star Harry Potter might visit him in his final days.

Quam singulari by anon (E, 6k, complete)

Spermarche: the beginning of a boy's development of sperm; normally signifies a boy's beginning in sexual maturity and puberty.

shelter from the storm by @cindle-writes & @duplicitywrites (E, 7k, complete)

After being left behind by the Dursleys, Harry stumbles upon an empty shack in the middle of nowhere, where he finds a mysterious ring underneath the loose floorboards.

study session by @ilya-zzz (E, 3k, complete)

"Tom–" Harry tries, coughing a couple times before lifting his hands to his head, softly rubbing his temples a couple times. "...I think you should go back to your common room."

The Abyss by AislingSiobhan (E, 36k, complete)

Nietzsche was right: when fighting monsters, Harry should have been more careful not to become one himself. That didn’t matter anymore. It was too late to save himself, yet he could still save the world from Voldemort. But who would save Voldemort from him?

the eternal flame by @duplicitywrites (E, 25k, WIP)

There’s a well-dressed older man who enters the orphanage asking after Tom Riddle. The man’s green eyes fix on Tom’s face, searching and searching. “My name is Harry Gaunt,” the man says, the tenor of his voice soft and faltering, a reflection of Tom's deepest, most secret anxieties, “and I’m here to adopt you.”

This Is Why You Don't Summon Demons, Harry by @kushimanii (E, 59k, complete)

Harry Potter is seven when he's left at the nearby church by Petunia to get an exorcism. Instead, he ends up summoning a demon that he makes a deal with. The demon, Voldemort, will protect him, and in return, the demon will devour his soul when it is ripe.

Without A Chance by Harryfan80 (E, 20k, complete)

When Voldemort (as Quirrell) meets Harry in her first year at Hogwarts, he exploits her naivete and uses her to acquire the Sorcerer's Stone.

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[enchantedescapist]

Theodore Nott Headcannons/Background

IT'S KINDA MESSY WRITTEN BUT I LIKE IT SO GIVE IT A CHANCE :)

Theodore Nott was born on October 26th (scorpio) at Florence,Italy and he was raised at the city of Salisbury in Southern England .He is quiet, exceptionally intelligent, and a pretty handsome boy; he doesn't have a superiority complex like others in his friendgroup, but he is very confident and charming carrying also a pride for his house (Slytherin). He has his friends ( Mattheo Riddle,Draco Malfoy,Blaise Zabini,Enzo Berkshire) - but he is a quiet loner an introvert but without that making him antisocial..in fact he is very good with words and fast come backs.He’s very much an observer of the world around him, judging everyone and making wry, snarky, generally sarcastic comments about them in his head and sometimes not only in his head.Theodere might seem the most cold and distant in the friendgroup but he is in his core a kind person ,with humour always making his closest people laugh and generous you just need to know him first and make him feel comfortable otherwise he is very mysterious and private with his life.

Despite being labeled as a "fuckboy" in his friend group and the whole Hogwarts do be in fact ,due to his flirting tendencies,his attractive appearance and his charming words, Theodore craves genuine love and connection. He enjoys attention, especially from girls, but deep down, he desires a meaningful relationship.

Theodore’s mother Rosalina died when he was a young child. She had a rare illness that gradually caused her to lose the ability to use magic - weakening her and pretty much turning her into a Squib, although Theodore didn’t see it that way, but his father did: Tiberius Nott refused to visit his wife in the hospital and basically pretended that she didn’t exist (although he did pay for a private suite in St. Mungo’s.) Theodore, although perhaps six or seven, visited his mother alone, learning how to take the Floo Network to St. Mungo’s to visit and often staying there.

He was present when Rosalina Nott died, providing him with the ability to see thestrals. It also gave him the determination to become a Healer when he graduated from Hogwarts.: it’s his overriding ambition, and he’s utterly driven to succeed. He was particularly good at Potions, and eventually became Potions Master for St. Mungo’s.Its important to mention that Theodore was a good student but he wasnt studying for hours like others ,he was simply doing the bare minimum and that was enough for him.

Theodore’s also a skilled Occlumens - and self-taught, since it’s a skill he found both interesting and useful. (As other skills go, his best subject is Potions; he often finds himself second in the class behind Hermione - third behind Harry in sixth year - something he resents Hermione for. He’s rather baffled by Harry’s sudden sixth-year success but ascribes it to Slughorn’s favoritism.) 5. Is known to everyone that Theodore loves quidditch, he is probably the best beater in the slytherin team.He is very passionate about it and its also a way for him to let his anger out and feel more free ( just go to therapy you have alot of job to do darling) 6.Theodore Nott is also a pragmatic realist but he doesnt believe in blood purity ideology,he is nowhere near as gung-ho as Draco. In fact, he hopes to wait until the war is over and thinks of joining the DEs as something that he’s obligated to do rather than what he genuinely wants to do. (The masks, the grandiose speeches, the pretense of anonymity when he knows practically everyone in the Dark Lord’s inner circle - it’s all utterly ridiculous to him.) 7. He spent the most Christmas alone if he is not invited to the Malfoy manor (which is very grateful for Narcissa and Lucius wanting him), his father is in Azkaban for the Department of Mysteries attack and…many other things but its whatever for him they were not getting along ever ( childhood trauma), and Theodore has no surviving relatives, family members and he doesnt prefer to stay at Hogwarts to face the pity of someone like Albus Dumbledore.Theodore's childhood was marked by loneliness, especially during the holidays alone in an empty house, his only gifts from the family house-elves who rummaged through the attic in an attempt to cheer him up - his Christmas holiday was generally cold, lonely, and sad. 8. Theo was also having a difficulty producing his patronus ( a Husky ) but there was always a memory which made him succeed and find peace the same time …(In the sitting room of the Nott Manor, the young Theodore sits beside his mother, Rosalina, at the grand piano. The room is filled with the soft glow of candlelight. Rosalina's fingers gracefully glide over the keys, coaxing out a melody that fills the air with warmth.As Theodore watches his mother play, a small smile graces his lips, and his eyes light up with admiration. He listens intently, completely enraptured by the music flowing from her fingertips.

With a gentle nudge from Rosalina, Theodore tentatively places his own small hands on the keys, mirroring her movements as they play together. Despite his initial hesitation, he soon finds his rhythm, the music becoming a harmonious duet between them.In that moment, young Theodore feels a sense of peace and contentment wash over him). It's a memory he'll carry with him always, a precious reminder of the bond they share and the joy found in the simple pleasure. Still that day, you can find Theodore playing piano when he feels valunerable or misses his mother a lot, he also doesnt say he can play piano but merlin knows why.

**REPOST AND LIKE IF YOU WANT PART 2! I was so happy while writting it haha.

[breefarrow]

I don't think the 1D boys would have received the level of fame they did had it not been for Louis contributions. Louis was the one who convinced their label to let them write and produce their own songs instead of the average bubble gum pop songs being written for them. Louis took the reins and helped write a majority of the songs for their first album written and produced by the 1D members.

Louis was also a key vocalist when it came to the harmonies. Harry even said they didn't sound right when Louis was at the hospital, and they had to practice/sing their song without louis there. In many 1D live performances when louis would loose his mic or for one reason or another just wasn't singing along with the group harmonies in songs you could clearly hear what Harry was talking about. There was a missing part, aka Louis harmonies.

1D's third studio album Midnight Memories the album heavily influenced by Louis, allowed 1D to finally show their authetic non traditional boyband talent ended up becoming the #1 selling album of 2013 and is what truly catapulted them into worldwide fame. Had they stuck to the bland bubble gum pop songs, a lot of other boybands from the 2010s did they wouldn't have gotten as big as they did. The bands fame would have most likely died down soon after TMH era, thus not giving them much of an opportunity of any successful solo careers. An example of this is their biggest boyband "rival" The Wanted who only ever sang stereotypical boyband music, so their hype died down quickly with maybe two major hit songs from their first 2 albums and a then tanking 3rd album. Thus, they all had meh solo careers, even their "lead singer".

With 1D, that didn't happen bc Louis didn't let that happen. So toxic solo stans who want to act like Louis is unimportant and didn't contribute anything to 1D or why their fav got to where they are now should check themselves and put some respect on Louis name. Because more then likely they would not be here running x stan acc for x former 1D member had it not been for Louis making sure they weren't going to end up on a list of every meh forgotten "where are they now" boyband singers. Niall even said Louis was a vital member of 1D so.

[gracefullou]

This is the most important part from that article and like I said wbk lol

When Harry Styles's black limousine arrived at the church (in typical sensible Harry style, he was the first to get there), onlookers expected to see the other members of One Direction climb out alongside him.

After all, in their heyday they would refer to one another as 'brothers'. Only those five boys could ever comprehend the magnitude of their overnight fame and how it upended their lives entirely.

However, Harry wasn't with his bandmates Niall Horan, Zayn Malik or Louis Tomlinson. Instead he was flanked by actor turned chat show host James Corden and their television producer friend Ben Winston.

The trio are very close. Harry lived in Winston's loft while his house in Hampstead was being renovated in 2013, spending a significant amount of their free time with Corden.

Arriving at Liam's funeral separately was an illustration of just how far apart the bandmates have grown since their reign as the world's most successful boyband, when they presented themselves very much as 'besties'.

After Harry, Niall was the next to arrive with his girlfriend Amelia Woolley, then Zayn and then Louis. Outside the church, only Zayn and Louis were seen sharing a moment together before Zayn left alone shortly afterwards.

'Of course, they all wanted to be there, they shared so much with Liam,' said one insider. 'But that doesn't mean they are best friends any more. They haven't worked together for almost ten years – they have grown apart.

In fact, the last time they all met up, it was because Simon Cowell insisted they did after Louis's mum died, and that was eight years ago.

'But it was just so telling to see Harry arrive with his super-famous friend James rather than the other band members. It kind of told you what you needed to know about how the boys have drifted apart.'

I'm told there is very little contact between Harry and the others, and that it's a similar story for Niall, though he was the last of the band members to see Liam before he died.

Indeed, Liam was in Buenos Aires to see the Irish heart-throb in concert, and afterwards had what I'm told was a 'quick and fleeting' meeting with him.

It is surely agonising to all involved that one of the first times the band had reunited in years was in the hours after Liam died on October 16 – to agree on the most poignant words to pay tribute to him.

In a statement signed 'Louis, Zayn, Niall and Harry', they wrote: 'We're completely devastated by the news of Liam's passing.

'In time, and when everyone is able to, there will be more to say. But for now, we will take some time to grieve and process the loss of our brother, who we loved dearly. The memories we shared with him will be treasured for ever. For now, our thoughts are with his family, his friends, and the fans who loved him alongside us. We will miss him terribly. We love you Liam.'

To the outside world, it appeared little had changed since their days travelling the globe as the biggest boyband since the Beatles.

In fact, those closest to Liam at the end were Louis and Zayn, who have both had their own troubles in recent years.

Louis struggled following the deaths of his mother Johannah Deakin in 2016, and his little sister Felicite – who accidentally overdosed on cocaine, an anxiety drug and painkillers aged just 18 – four years later. Meanwhile, Zayn was reportedly axed by his record label RCA due to his alleged cannabis use in 2021.

Dailymail being the low of the low, posting articles about this at a time like this 😬. But it is kind of ironic that #those people said they weren't seen together as a whole bc they didn't want the attention when as usual that brought even more attention (mainly by fans) and tbh all the media would run with the "1D memebers reunited at their lost brother's funeral" (and they did) whether there where pics of them together or not, just them being there is enough to generate these articles. What's even more telling is that there were only pics of Harry and Niall together, which was already established that they get along well enough, no other pictures of the other members together (not talking about Louis and Zayn bc it's obvious they just met at the entry and ofc they would be civil to one another at a time like this, which also kind of confirms that they didn't even coordinate their arrivals to not be seen together, bc if that was the case why would Zayn and Louis arrive almost at the same time, they had a public fall out them interacting would take away the "attention" no?)

[mourningliliesmorningglories]

"It’s haunting to know that you still cry for something today that you also cried for 15 years ago."

Umm idk if this is too personal but would you break down why you gave each marauder the line that you did?

For some reason, Sirius' really stuck with. Literally I can't stop thinking about it.

If there was an award for best ask anon, I think you would win!!! I love when people ask about the intricacies of my writing because I just feel like everything that I write is so deeply personal to me!

This will be quite long as I think the best way to tackle this is to address each one with its context and then how I relate it to each marauder. So buckle in!!!

Anything underlined is referencing my other writing and will be linked!

See the original post here!

James: Two lives cannot overlap - one must be forgiven to forge the other. 

So I wrote this about the rivers of the Underworld in Greek mythology, in a wider piece of writing on coping with grief. It refers specifically to the river Lethe, the river of forgetting, where souls drink from it to forget their life before being reincarnated. I have mixed feeling about James as a character - on one hand as a young boy he's incredibly privileged to the point of almost ignorance but then is forced into a war he cannot fight and reasonably win. In a way this line can be applied to James in two ways: 1) he had to grow up to cope with the rapidly changing world he'd been basically thrown into and 2) harry could never defeat Voldemort if his parents were still alive. James and lily had to die so harry would have nothing to lose.

Sirius:  It’s haunting to know that you still cry for something today that you also cried for 15 years ago.

Okay so this was written in the same piece as above, in reference to a childhood memory. I cried for comfort but no one could come to me. No one chose to comfort me in that moment. I think we all have moments where we think 'I need my mum' or something similar but at it's core, its a plea for comfort - you want to be held, cradled, for the burden to be taken away. Sirius Black was denied affection as a child, denied love as an adult and then denied his life when he fell through The Veil. He had his friends as support but he also had to stare at James and Effie, Remus and Hope. He had moments where he needed parental love, where he felt like he would die without it. He was denied the chance to make sure Harry never experienced that, and when he did get the chance, it was ripped away almost immediately.

Remus: It is strange to cling onto remnants of someone who is no longer there.

This was written about losing someone and still having to live amongst their things. Everything is normal except the person is gone. It's describing that moment when you walk into a room and you feel their presence, like you're in the living room and it's so easy to convince yourself they're in the kitchen, but they aren't. The space they left behind is empty. I think with Remus, again it can apply in two ways: 1) himself - his whole identity is basically fed to him through the label of 'werewolf', the Order use him as a monster to tame a bigger beast. He is constantly mourning. In Hogwarts, he mourns his younger self. In the Order, he mourns the teenage, full of life, naive version of him. As an adult he mourns every version of himself - they trail behind him like a ball and chain. 2) everyone he loses - Remus outlives his best friends, and even the one he gets back, oh god he got him back but at what cost? Remus is a walking graveyard.

Peter: In every story, someone has to leave. This is not a burden taken lightly, nor is it one that can be shared.

I wrote this about Caesar and Brutus. When Caesar died, so did Brutus. As Brutus lives, so does Caesar. Today when one is mentioned, the other rarely goes unnamed. Brutus orchestrates the murder of Caesar because he fears his ambition and the ruin it will bring to Rome. Peter is both Caesar and Brutus. He fears Voldemort enough to do his bidding only because he's never had such power before. We see exactly how Peter's loyalty is manipulated - he felt more important to Voldemort then he did to his friends and so his loyalty changed accordingly.

Lily: The sunflowers turn to the light, but the sun will never recognise their presence.

Growth is difficult to justify in a non-physical sense. This was inherently about being an observer in my own life. We do things that have unremarkable impacts until one day the fallout of our actions are so grand we cannot outrun them. In terms of Lily, I do think in hindsight this may be more relevant to her characterisation moreso than her character. She is often represented as just a vessel to carry Harry and is overlooked as a complex character and a key member of the Order. James forgot his wand on the sofa - she protected Harry. She was an incredibly smart witch - she was, is, more than just her offspring. Treat her accordingly.

Regulus: One day we all realise that the first thing we lose is ourselves.

My earliest memory is a hospital visit and a funeral. We do not realise that the process of growth is intertwined with the ritual of loss. You are allowed to mourn the person you used to be. Death isn’t exclusive to those burned or bombed or buried. Regulus loses his brother then he loses himself. He has a role to play as the prodigal son. He is actively cutting himself open and stitching himself back up to fit seamlessly into the mould his parents have created for him. He watched Sirius fail, so he couldn't. Maybe he did believe in blood supremacy at first or maybe the whole thing was a ploy to try and grasp at the power and autonomy he'd grievously been denied his entire life. Regulus knew himself so well he'd buried the body undetectably.

Pandora: Nobody talks of death lightly. Nobody talks of what it tends to leave behind.

We obsess over death - how to prevent it, how to cope with it, how to be clinical about it. Yes a person dies and we are left with the aftermath - clothes, shoes, pictures, their tea in the cupboard, hair still in the brush. But obviously, a person dies. People are complexes - the most inherent part of death to me is how a person can just end. With Pandora, this sits within the realm of the HC that she is a seer. She must standby and watch the people she loves die twice - once in her head and once in real life. She must watch over her friends and loved ones and grieve them as she lives alongside them. To her, a heart is just a stopwatch.

Evan: He carried on with his journey but made time to be part of mine.

I met an old man who told me that at the end of the day, you do wish you could it all over again. That we are often ungrateful until we lose the thing, then all we want is to get it back. Evan Rosier cherished everything; his sister, his friends, his childhood. But this made him so weary of loss. He was possessive and sometimes cruel. He would do anything to keep what was important to him, even join a blood supremacy cult to keep his best friends and sister safe. When you die, they say you get seven minutes to rewatch the happiest moments. When Evan Rosier dies, he sees Barty and Reg and Pandora.

Barty: You can love something that does not exist anymore. Something that has never existed cannot be loved.

This one is slightly harder to explain. I believe it to be human nature to chase the things that we have only had a taste of. You cannot want something you do not know. Though I do wonder if this is more an act of conditioning than something inherently of nature. To cognise something is to give it a reality, whether this be a thought, an idea or a notion.  Barty Crouch Jr was a waste of potential. 12 OWLs. 4 languages. He could've been whatever he wanted. You can assume he was unsuccessful in fulfilling his potential - unless he wanted to be dead. And who can blame him with a father like that. Barty had to fabricate everything - would lick up his father's approval like a dog until the day he realised none of it actually mattered.

Dorcas: All prior things are made of shards, of tatters. All prior things look different in the daylight.

Past lives are just that. Past, nonexistent. Windows are walls. Shields are not always protective. Dorcas Meadows was hunted and slaughtered by Voldemort himself. She, obviously, was a threat. A smart, cunning, powerful witch who made the Dark Lord himself worry just how successful he'd be if she remained alive. But none of this mattered from the second she hit the floor, heart slowing down, eyes closing. She was not the priest's favorite sacrificial lamb. She wasn't even a sacrifice.

Marlene: One day I will sit in an urn, and I too will be smaller than the day I arrived.

I wrote this about not rushing through life. It was about savoring moments and people and the ephemeral. Marlene was the casanova - wanted by all but touched by few. Her bloodline dies when she dies next to her brother. Filled with potential and life, even the brightest stars will fade away. Sacrifice is often forgotten, drawn over, especially if it isn't grand. Not quite the brightest witch of her generation, nor pretty enough to get the one person she truly wanted.

Mary: I wonder if forgetting is betrayal or if it’s a favour, a privilege of rest.

I was wondering whether remembering people disturbed the process of dying. We don't know of an afterlife or what happens after you die. Does reminiscing drag a soul away from rest? I hold the HC that Mary obliviated herself near and dear. In this way, it's just another person coping with loss. I think because it's so deeply personal, it's very difficult to express in words.

Andromeda: We learn that just because one person escapes the inevitable, the other does not.

I wrote this about Orpheus and Eurydice. It's a story I adore and it's also often misunderstood. This is why it’s a tragedy, and why love often is a tragedy - loss is inevitable. In the case of Orpheus and Eurydice, he loved her enough to try and save her. He loved her so much that he couldn’t. Andromeda is the survivor - survives her upbringing, survives a war, outlives her family. She takes in Teddy even though he's a glaring reminder of her daughter and every moment of a past she tried to outrun.

Narcissa: Love is always a choice, even when we make the wrong one.

Again, this is from me writing about Orpheus and Eurydice. Their story was never about retrieval or righting a wrong. Even if Eurydice had been returned, she was a ghost. This was always a story about saying goodbye. Oh I could lament about Narcissa for days. She is her own greatest tragedy. She was the model child out of her sisters. She lived the ideal trajectory and suffered for it. Obedience and cunning were bred into her. She couldn't save her husband, her house, her sisters or her son. Narcissa lived her life always saying goodbye, wishing she could instead say 'stay'.

Bellatrix: Sometimes, it feels like I have been exiled from my life and no one has thought to tell me.

This was written about nostalgia, and living like a stranger in your own life. It's about the means and ways and things we do to gain some semblance of control back into our lives. Bellatrix has always been a very interesting character to me. She upholds her pure blood upbringing, marries a pure blood and yet she strives for more. She becomes a deatheater and makes herself so valuable to Voldemort, she becomes an intrinsic part of his inner circle. She outshines her husband and sisters - she is the patriarch.

Anon. I hope this answers your question! If you'd like further details on any of these please send me another ask or DM! I'd love to hear your thoughts instead of scribing mine!