#that was another situation he didn't seem to be having flashbacks or anything about

[axe8472]

No but really the fact that he seems to be able to touch animals more than humans and that he's good at dealing with brief touches as long as they're through violence it's. it drives me a little crazy

Something something kaz brekker something something he needed to hit someone he needed someone to hit him something something violence and touch aversion and the intricate rituals of it all etc etc you understand

[mxstellatayte]

Hi! So I lobe what you have been posting and really want one with either max or mick?

One where they don't realises that they are covered in hickey or scratches?

And it gets called out by either the fans or the press/other drivers?

Please do nsfw either a flashback or one afterwards with a bit of revenge towards our dear reader

Thank yoz and keep up the amazing work 🫶🫶

hey there! i absolutely love all the detail you've given me to work with <3 also i straight up had a physical reaction to this because RAAAAAARGH this is. so hot. also this takes place before singapore 2024 :)

taglist: @vivi-81 @irishmanwhore @lucycowr @benstormy @anat33-blog1

@xoscar03 @tremendousstarlighttragedy @nenamalenaa @champagneproblems17 @marknolee

@toby33b @soloqualcosa @sassyinchident808 @slutmeoutsworld @itsgrlalmghty

join my taglist here!

it was the flash of papaya among a sea of navy blue that snapped max out of the zoned-out daze he'd been in for the past few minutes. lando.

thank christ.

he reaches out his hand, clasping the mclaren driver's own and bringing him in for a brief hug before stepping back. thankfully, there isn't any media around right now, or max might just flip a table. he's getting real sick of putting up a wall of friendliness when all he wanted to do was escape to his driver's room and mentally prepare for the upcoming qualifying session.

they make small talk for a few moments, talking about the track evolution throughout the day, the brutal heat and humidity, the added drs zone, lap times...

"you get up to anything last night, mate?" lando quirks an eyebrow and sips from his black drinks bottle as he asks the question, leaning his hip against a random storage container.

you'd been wandering around the paddock with lily zneimer while max finished up in the post-practice press conference, doing anything you could to escape the absolutely brutal singaporean heat. however, it seemed that the moment max left you alone, any man within a ten kilometer radius immediately decided to flirt with you.

as soon as the press conference was over and max was released from any further duties, he began searching for you throughout the paddock. after fifteen unsuccessful minutes, though, he thankfully ran into someone who might have a vague idea as to where you may be.

"daniel, have you seen-"

"mclaren hospitality with zneimer."

"thanks."

as max approached the painfully orange building, he heard your voice, mood immediately lifting. what he heard, however, pissed him off beyond measure.

"-told you, i have a boyfriend. i'm not interested. now, if you could kindly fuck off, i'm trying to enjoy my lunch."

what the fuck?

when he rounded the corner, he saw who you were talking to, and... really? this guy thought he had a chance with you? if there was anything more about the situation that could piss max off even more, it's the fact that he's leaning in way too close for his- and your- comfort.

"hey, schatje. everything all good over here?" max rests a hand on your shoulder, deliberately placing himself between you and this creep who won't leave you alone.

"yeah, everything's good. how did the press conference go?" you tilt your head back, and max immediately understands, ducking down to kiss you quickly.

it's that moment that the man bothering you chooses to speak up, and he somehow says the one thing that wouldn't help his situation right now, embarrassing as it is already. "could've just said you had a boyfriend. fuckin' bitch." max's hand twitches on your shoulder and you bring your own up to rest on it, holding him in place. instead of any other reaction, max offers him a fake smile before he storms off, leaving the two of you to burst into laughter.

max sits down next to you, steals a bite of your croissant, and leans back in his chair, a cocky smirk on his face as he chews the flaky pastry. "i was eating that, thank you very much."

"i'll buy you another one," max replies nonchalantly as if he didn't just stare daggers into the heart of the man that was flirting with you. "it seems like you need something that tells people you're taken, though."

later that night, max's lips and teeth ghosted across the skin of your neck, breasts, and thighs as you squirmed beneath him, promising that the blues, purples, and yellows that mottled your skin would ensure that no one would even think about flirting with you.

"nah, nothing much," max lies. "just the team debrief, some sim work, checking over numbers with gp, that kind of stuff. what about you?"

"nah, nothing much," lando responds with a shrug, teeth still clamped around the bendy straw. "played some padel games with max but we were roasted by the end of it. fell dead asleep by nine."

"yeah, the heat always beats it out of me here. i'm probably going to sleep for thirteen hours straight after the race on sunday."

"i probably will, too, honestly, but mostly because i can't beat the jet lag here." max nods in agreement, taking a sip out of his own drinks bottle. "a little birdy told me that you got up to more than just racing review, last night, though."

max's eyebrows furrow in confusion, and he swallows the gulp of water he'd taken. "what do you mean?"

"your neck, mate."

max whined as his hips canted up into yours, his hands desperately grabbing at your arms. your tongue laved over your teeth marks, matching blues and purples littering the lower part of max's neck but coming high enough so that they'd be just visible over the high collar of his fireproofs and race suit. "fuck, schatje, feels so good."

"yeah? you like everyone knowing that you're mine?" all max can do is nod pathetically, biting down on his lower lip in order to muffle the sounds he so desperately wants to make. "use your words, max."

"love it, want everyone to know i'm yours. everyone needs to know."

"there you go, baby." your hips resume their previous pattern, and you groan openly at the delicious slide of max's cock inside of you, filling you up so perfectly. he cries out when you shift your lips lower, taking his left nipple between your teeth gently, and you're able to pry one of his hands from your arm, bringing it to your own breast in hopes that he gets the memo.

he does.

max's hand immediately kneads at your breast, and you groan, your mouth shifting over to his other nipple and repeating the same ministrations, letting your teeth graze it ever so slightly between gentle licks and sucks. "mm, fuck, schatje, gonna cum, 'm gonna cum-"

"so cum for me, max." that's all max needs to hear before his head is thrown back and a beautiful moan rips itself from his throat, and you can't help but press your fingers into the bruises that litter his thick neck. the combination of the high-pitched wails that fill your ears and the feeling of max's cum filling you beyond full makes you fall over the edge, too, and you collapse onto his chest with a satisfied giggle.

max's hand immediately comes up to his neck and he tries not to wince at the flashes of pain that zip through his body, stemming from the lingering bite marks you'd left the night before, his eyes flashing wide. "that bad?"

"that bad," lando confirms with a nod and a smirk. "you might want to go find her and make her cover them up for you before qualifying."

[mysterialistic]

Over-analyzing the Yingdu Chapter [PART 3]

They've already told us the synopsis of the Yingdu Chapter, but this is just scratching the surface. This is how I think the plot will go down:

The chapter will start with the flashback of Cheng Xiaoshi's death and how Lu Guang went back to the past. At the same time, we'll probably see the scene of Liu Xiao pointing his gun at the grown man and asking about Cheng Weimin.

Now, this is where things get confusing cause... what's the deal with Cheng Weimin? It's not confirmed, yet very evident that this man is Cheng Xiaoshi's father, but why would Liu Xiao be looking for him?

Well, I have three guesses:

1. Cheng Weimin has powers like his son.

2. Cheng Weimin had powers but gave them to his son before dissappearing/dying.

3. Cheng Weimin pretended to have powers but in reality it always was Cheng Xiaoshi so, to protect him, Cheng Weimin and his wife disappeared.

The third option is my favorite because there's a text in the teaser that says this:

It seems like a message directed to Lu Guang and it's either from himself from the future or it's from someone else who cares a lot for Cheng Xiaoshi, for example, his parents.

Going back to the plot...

Lu Guang has the nightmare, sees Vein and the messages for him to go to Bridon. There'll probably be a lot of reluctance regarding if they should go or not, ultimately taking the journey because... Well, because we need the story to move forward lol.

When they arrive to Yingdu something tells me that initially Cheng Xiaoshi won't find anything about his parents, which leads to this scene of him looking sadly at a picture (of his parents?) I would like to make a small parenthesis to point out that we DON'T know if in this part of the story CXS already has knowledge about his powers or not.

This part were he's looking sadly at the picture could mean one out of two things:

1. He has his powers and dived into the photo but found nothing.

2. He doesn't have powers and he simply didn't find any useful clues outside of the photo.

I honestly think that they will have their powers already cause it's a plot device, it helps advancing the story and solving mysteries/conflicts. Unless they decide to make CXS awaken his powers in here, which could be really cool too.

Getting back on track...

Cheng Xiaoshi doesn't find anything useful and Lu Guang is probably relieved because that means that they can go back home, but then the antagonists appear. I don't know how or why because, well, we haven't seen anything about it and I would just be making completely blind suppositions lol.

Tho, something worth noting on this scene is that, by the way the camera moves when focusing on CXS, it seems like if someone was... Watching him? Probably one of the trio. I could be totally wrong.

So yeah, long story short, they have to stay in Yingdu for some reason involving the antagonists and they get entangled in dangerous situations such as the previous seasons. One of the texts mentions: "The two had a quarrel that shouldn't have happened". I honestly don't know what this could mean. Is it referring to Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang as a pair or is it a one vs one? Let's wait and see.

So... This is where it gets tragic. Brace yourselves!

At the very end of this video that Bilibili and the Link Click official Twitter account uploaded two months ago, we get a small preview of the Yingdu Chapter.

And what's so relevant about this? Well, at the very end we can hear a gunshot and Cheng Xiaoshi groaning in pain before dropping to the ground, then we hear Lu Guang calling his name and another gunshot.

I'm sadly sure that CXS is going to die again. Why? Because it just doesn't make sense that they went through something so important and dramatic during Yingdu for them to never talking about it beyond mentioning a trip abroad. This is gonna sound bad, but it's the easiest solution the writers have to prevent plot holes.

Cheng Xiaoshi dies; maybe even Vein and Xia Fei die too? I kinda have the feeling that something big is gonna happen because of this text in the teaser:

The letters are yellow, a color that represents Cheng Xiaoshi. It could be him asking Lu Guang to go back in time to fix things, to which Lu Guang answers:

Lu Guang gets CXS's powers, goes back in time again and we'll arrive to the present time line... Maybe)? This I don't know because there's symbolisms of multiple attempts. A good example is this scene in the VORTEX/Overthink music video:

But yeah, who knows, this is all very speculative cause they haven't shown us a lot.

Probably the "trip abroad" that they mention on season one is not Yingdu? Maybe they do go on a journey, but something more happy like those images they've shown us of CXS and LG riding a car, with beach wear. Idk guys, I'm just trying to find a bit of happiness in here lol.

Anyway, the only thing I have for certain is that the Yingdu Chapter is going to HURT, just like the rest of the donghua.

So... Thanks for reading! Leave me your theories, I love hearing other's speculations!

[sucuretcannelle]

Hello! Idk if ur taking requests and if your not that's fine!

I was wondering if you could write a Saiki x reader? Where during home ed class, your making some sort of sweet treat (can be any!) And his team absolutely FAILS at making it. And the reader comes up to him with his own serving and a quick peck on his cheek? The ending can be up to you!

I'd like it pure fluff and humor! Please and thank you! Hope your doing great!

Hey! I don't write fanfics but I can still give you my scatterbrained thoughts on this situation anyway.

You just gave me a flashback to chapter 97, don't do it again (jk)

You have to understand that at least 3 things went wrong before you could finish your dish. This happens everyday: someone gets knocked in the head, someone passes out, something fucking outlandish happens. That's the key point, you know something silly is going to happen every time you go to that class.

Saiki knows it too. He's silently accepted the fact that you might end up getting accidentally attacked by one of your classmates one way or another (mentally or physically because we all know these mfs are buffoons).

Despite Saiki knowing that Nendou and Kuboyasu being some of the best cooks in the class, he let your pair with them so you didn't have to go through unnecessary suffering. He's able to fix whatever his team's problems are without batting an eye...

Anyway he got stuck with Kaidou and Hairo again. He doesn't even know how he always ends up with them, he complains about it every time. Not because they bother him so much, but because he wonders how he always ends up in that situation.

He tries to give you live commentary on his situation when he knows you're not too focused on anything. Hearing his monotone voice say "They just broke the metal bowl" or "the microwave blew up again" does make the class 10x more interesting. It almost makes you look forward to going there. Sometimes he even says something like "does my struggle make you happy?" When he hears you laugh at him.

By the time you finished your dish, his team only seemed to be halfway done with theirs. It was honestly hard to tell what they were even doing at that point because everything was burnt, half of the things were spilled on the floor, and Kaidou was too busy being yelled at to help. Once again, you saw him standing to the side, doing everything on his own. You would've waited for him to finish his dish but he already knew that you were going to give it to him, so there was no point in waiting.

Giving him a kiss was practically second nature; you didn't even have to think about it. He didn't have to think about it either, it was a very smooth transaction, and despite him barely acknowledging it, you knew it meant a lot to him.

[sbg-loving-pierog]

Let's talk about The Hernandez Family!

and why the whole situation with Tyler is actually a good thing to happen.

(‼️Spoilers for episodes 43-51‼️)

You've been warned...

Starting off with ep. 43 when we see Mariana Hernandez - Taylor and Tyler's mother - for the first time.

You can see the tension rising when she mentions the twin's father, which at the time is suspicious but since it goes unexplained it doesn't bring much of our attention until

Back then we couldn't confirm what that means, not until ep. 48 and Tyler's flashbacks. Now we know that the twins' father is dead, so that tells us that their mother doesn't seem to remember about that. To say more, she's CONVINCED that he's still alive because even when the situation points to him not being with them anymore, she still only finds it a bit weird but doesn't seem to remember the truth.

Either she doesn't want to remember it, or it's a part of some kind of medical, mental condition, but something that helps keep up this Delusion is that, as we know, after the death of Ethan Hernandez, Tyler took over his responsibilities.

Mariana never had to take over anything her husband did for the family, she didn't feel the weight that fell on them after his passing. All "thanks" to Tyler.

And for some reason her kids try to keep up this facade with distracting her from thinking about their father before she remembers anything

And they succeed, bringing them to the point when they are the ones that take care of her, instead of it being the other way around, as it should. She probably still does her share of responsibilities a parent should have (a part she was doing before too, when Ethan was alive) but the other half AND the mental burden is all on Tyler and Taylor.

But something changes in ep. 51

When Tyler is "injured", her first instinct is to call her husband - and his father - which is understandable, you wouldn't really think logically in a situation like that, but for Mariana, this is when the truth and logic finally hits her

She reminds herself that she can't call Ethan for help and you can clearly see that she's about to panic

But then Taylor comes in, and changes her mother's thinking of "I'm on my own, what do I even do?" To "I have others to care for, I'll think about myself later".

You can almost hear her thoughts saying "You're their mother. Act like it".

This is the moment she realizes that:

1. She can't depend on Ethan anymore

2. Tyler won't always be there to help her

3. She has to be strong for her kids because she should be. Because it's her responsibility that she's been neglecting... or just wasn't able to bring to life for WAY too long

After Tyler wakes up and the group leaves the hospital, it's said that his mom stayed there with him. I think both the time when Taylor needed her support and the time they spent together with Tyler when she was the one caring for him for a change will normalize their family situation. It will help Mariana realize that Tyler was and is still just a kid, and was never ready to take over his father's "position" in caring for her and Taylor, even if he did it because he had to.

That's what I think anyways, I'm open to discussion though ^^ and well, now as they're separated, their relationship will either freeze for a moment, or change again and hopefully it'll become even stronger after another reunion :)

[idiotsonlyevent]

so i've been thinking about risu. "personality defines one's magic" lives in my mind rent free, and i've been trying to pin down how magic reflects the personalities of sorcerers we know. risu's curse magic is especially interesting due to its rarity and the nature of curse itself. so, what can curse tell us about risu, and what role does risu play in dorohedoro? (spoilers through the end of the manga under the cut.)

who is risu?

risu is a low-level sorcerer and a member of the cross-eyes. not much is known about his past, besides for the fact that he used to go to the zagan magic school, he was friends with aikawa, and he had an apartment where he lived alone and grew cacti. but what else do we know about him? what's he like?

i want to start this discussion based on asu's perceptions of risu in extra evil 16, since we, as the readers - and risu himself - get to be explicitly told what asu thinks of him. risu's interactions with asu and nikaido are particularly important because, unlike with the cross-eyes or en's family, risu isn't really putting on a front here. and since asu is genuinely trying to help by offering risu advice, we know this is what he really thinks - even if his devil traits are getting in the way of his delivery.

to summarize: asu characterizes risu as neurotic, high-strung, and repressed. these evaluations seem to be at least partially correct; asu is the catalyst for both moments in the manga where risu grows to better understand his magic - the first in spell 84 and the second in 122 - and he wouldn't have been able to do this if he truly didn't understand risu. and risu agrees with him!

this is interesting when contrasted with what we see of risu in one of the first flashbacks of the series.

we know that risu has a lot of doubts about the boss and the cross-eyes, but what he's saying here is really . . . idealistic? even in spite of any doubts or worries, risu says this to aikawa - and given how earnest risu is with him, i don't think this is a lie. on top of that, risu was pretty loyal to the cross-eyes and to aikawa. this is not to imply that pessimism and loyalty are inherently at odds with one another, but the way risu talks about aikawa and his own death really doesn't scream 'i see the worst in every situation'. i don't think risu's pessimism is the whole story. so, how does curse fit into all of this? why does risu have curse magic?

what is curse?

curse magic is considered rare. it's not well-understood by any characters, and especially early on, only asu and dokuga seem to have any understanding of how it works at all. curse is activated after risu is killed and remains active until the curse is 'complete.' after curse merges with risu after his revival, when someone tries to kill or harm risu, curse will activate, taking over risu's body and reflecting all attacks.

curse is angry and violent, and it is so overwhelming that risu has no control over it at all. faced with this, risu rejects the idea outright; this is all he knows. he's gotten so used to being controlled by his anger for so long that he can't comprehend any other options. he assigns everything to his anger. he's angry at everything, and he only acts because he is angry.

something that really stuck out to me is when risu says he's 'pissed off for making [him] kill.' it's unclear if he's angry at the cross-eyes or at curse, but it's really indicative that he doesn't want to be violent - he's been forced into it due to the circumstances of this world and his place in it. curse is not a representation of some inner desire to hurt or harm others; there's something else going on here.

(a brief aside, but this is the only time we're shown anything from risu's life before the cross-eyes, the magic school, and aikawa. he's younger - he looks about shin's age from his backstory ten years ago? so, let's tentatively call risu 18-ish here, placing this about 6 years ago, which should comply with canon. he's injured and alone - there's no mention of parents or any other caretakers. with how vague this information is, it's difficult to draw any definitive conclusions. one possibility is that risu was abandoned by his parents. i say this because a flashback of risu alone is paired with the the thought that others, specifically powerful sorcerers like the en family, look down on him, and there are multiple severed heads in the same shot, who are clearly not en family members or other cross-eyes. it could be that his family were powerful sorcerers who left him alone due to his 'weak' magic, and perhaps he himself killed them, which is why their heads are floating and detached. but i digress.)

asu says it best: curse is only part of risu. curse protects risu. it is not just risu's anger, but also what that anger is hiding - perhaps feelings of hopelessness, isolation, betrayal, etc. curse is a literal and physical obfuscation and reflection of risu's identity and feelings. risu needs to learn to control curse not because anger - or any of his other negative feelings - are bad. it's because he doesn't understand where they come from or why, and as a result they consume him. this is why risu's realization has him literally being freed from a physical trap, because risu is now the one in control, even if he lacks mastery. risu is angry, but that is not all he is; risu is angry, and that is okay.

so, what does risu do? why is he important?

risu actually has strong thematic ties with both caiman (the protagonist) and nikaido (the deuteragonist):

risu and curse's relationship parallels aikawa and hole's: a magic user with low/no smoke output possessed by a violent entity that is controlled by strong negative feelings and obfuscates their past.

curse foils nikaido's time magic: risu is controlled by dangerous magic that he has no control over while nikaido refuses to use time magic because she perceives it as dangerous and uncontrollable; both have realizations about their relationships with magic (with asu's help), and learn how to use their magic as part of their character arcs.

curse is a physically painful, like aikawa's headaches and nikaido's devil transformation.

risu, nikaido, and caiman all struggle with their identity: both how society perceives them and how the see themselves. all of them have complicated relationships with their magic, and they feel like they do not 'truly exist,' at least in part due to this.

also, risu is a big player early on in the story, if not arguably the most important one, especially when it comes to the mystery of dorohedoro. risu's curse is the means through which caiman and nikaido can hunt sorcerers and is also the en family's first major lead in their investigation. risu is what brings caiman and the cross-eyes together. risu goes back in time with nikaido to learn the truth of caiman's past. risu is the one that kills aikawa. risu offers to restore caiman's original face at the end of the series. (i could go on!)

risu isn't rich or extremely powerful or a genius, but he feels important because he was aikawa's partner; their partnership is what gave aikawa's existence as a sorcerer legitimacy, and their bond persists through the entire series. risu may be a 'nobody' when compared to characters like en and nikaido, but he was somebody to aikawa, and that identity is consistently given the weight it deserves.

[nocturnesmoon]

Chapter 3: Ghosts Of The Past

(Series Masterlist: Divine Violence) (Read on Ao3) (Inspired Playlist)

Series:The Divine Violence - Chapter 3: Ghosts Of The Past

Wordcount: 5.5K

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x John "Soap" MacTavish x Gn!Reader

TW: (View masterlist for series tw and tags) - DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, Religious Trauma, PTSD, Flashbacks, Hallucinations, Anxiety, Paranoia, Disturbing themes, Implied eating disorders, Jealousy, Past abuse, Underage drinking, vomiting

Description: Soap approaches you to eat lunch with him, you begrudgingly accept.

A/N: Wooo another chapter done! Finally getting into some of the angsty bits that's gonna be a gateway to things we're going to expand upon later in the story. Everybody stay hydrated and I hope you enjoy it!

[Prev chapter / Next Chapter]

The night is young and beautiful. Stars would cover the sky above you if it wasn't from the pollution of the city lights. You can still count a few, one, two, three, even four. They're bright here, one even seems to be blinking at you before you realize it's a plane.

It feels almost too ceremonial with the full moon in the sky, and Simon standing by the little makeshift fire in the pile of trash. It reminds you a little of your confirmation, years past by now. Though the church was a lot cleaner, the people like minded. Clothing of white making you shine in the sun, your proud mother with her uptight smile, and your father who had never before seemed proud of anything you did, now smiled warm toned at you.

You can still remember each word the priest spoke to you. Etched so deep in your brain it might as well have been carved into the back of your palm.

Thinking back to it, you realize it's different to this, so much different. The grittiness has a charm to it, but the real reason your nerves have skyrocketed is because of him. You take a step closer to the fire, watch him pop open the bottle of vodka. The one he had stolen from his father’s cabinet. Easier now that he wasn't home as much.

"Nervous?"

He grins at you, grabbing your fidgeting hand in his own. "We can still leave it be?" he offers kindly, but you quickly shake your head no. You had asked for this, you wanted to try it, because you knew the closest way you'd ever come to alcohol otherwise was the wine (Which wasn't even wine, it was grape juice) at the communion in church.

Simon had so graciously offered when you mentioned your want in passing. The curious nature in your soul wanting to try it at least once, even if you turned out to dislike it. You squeeze his hand, as if to jitter out your nerves. Being this far from home never felt good to you, a festering anxiety in your mind that your parents would find out and punish you.

There was a lot of things Simon could help you with, even take the fall for you should the situation call for it, but not this. No, this would be on you, and it would not feel good.

The fire crackles in front of you, something sharp snaps and brings your focus away from the bottle. You had no clue what was burning in there, but it provided a warm place for you to be so you didn't have much to complain about.

"Whenever you're ready Little Spider," he teases and brings the bottle to your hand.

You scoff and roll your eyes. "Does it really burn that bad?" you take the bottle with a small grimace. Your eyes nervously flicking from the liquid to him and back again.

"You seem very determined that this is what you want to do, so why don't you take a sip and find out?"

Another moments hesitance, and you bring the bottle to your lips. In the first second it doesn't burn, just so that the little thought of relief can enter your brain, before being squashed by the lit fire in your throat.

He quickly grabs the bottle away from you, when you start coughing and spurting. The sounds of your distress drowned out by his roaring laughter. His hand comes to pat you on the back, his eyes almost filled with tears from his laughter.

"Oh my oh my oh my, why why why did I do this."

"Oh c'mon, it wasn't that bad, was it?" he looks down at the bottle experimentally. Acting as if he hadn't tasted it countless times before. He brings it to his lips when your outburst calms down, taking a sip seamlessly, taking the burn proud and easy.

"How in the world," you sound astonished by his display. He tries to keep a straight face, but fails very quickly when he sees how you look at him like he's crazy. "Hey don't laugh!" you swat his arm, but soon fall into the laughter along with him.

The fire illuminates his face, casting shadows of you both behind on the wall. The soft orange glow makes some of his features stand out more than normal. His little scars close to his mouth that's normally almost invisible, now almost makes him look scary if it wasn't for how his face was lit up with joy.

"Oh wow," you grab the bottle back to read the inscription as if that would give you more clarity. "I don't understand how people drink stuff like this daily...I mean it's not that good."

His smile falls a little, his breathing catching up from the fit of laughter. "Well, drink enough of it and you'll start to feel funny," he explains simply instead of doing in-depth.

"Huh..." you look at the little alcohol percentage on the bottle, "have you been drunk before?"

He doesn't respond immediately, almost as if he seems ashamed of it. "A few times," he admits and trails closer to the wall, "with a few other guys from school." He leans on it, crossing his arms over his chest. It makes him look edgy, his dark attire and the illumination of a dumpster fire. He looks older than he is like that.

You come closer, tilting your head to the side slightly. He looks at you tentatively, taking in all that is you, the way you look, the way you move, the way you position yourself in front of him, so very close.

"What else have you done?" you ask in a knowing tone that didn't know much at all, "that you haven't had the heart to tell me about yet?" His eyes widen slightly panicked for a moment. You already know how he's compiling an excuse in his brain, or some way to explain himself away from anger, but you aren't angry.

"I just didn't think it was your thing...didn't want to bother you with it...make you feel like you had to," he explains quickly. You shake your head, making sure to give him a small smile as reassurance. His shoulders sag more.

"It wasn't..." you tell him, “But now I’m curious."

"Are you now?" his voice turns back to teasing. How you'd love to smear that smug smile off him, one way or another.

You bring the bottle to your lips, drinking way more than you probably should.

"Yeah, so let's find out."

Your throat burns whenever you throw up. It's become a much more frequent occurrence. The stress of your problems taking wear on your mind. You're no more surprised to find a singular grey hair protrude from your scalp, than you are from the blood mixed with bile in the sink.

That had been your breakfast most likely. The only meal you had found yourself able to sneak away to eat in peace of your assigned room. It left your stomach empty again, the pained hollow feeling you despised despite how much of your life was spent in it.

You'd take anything over this. Oh, how you wished you could be like anyone else, the majority of the reasons to throw up being a hangover, or being sick. Though alcohol hasn't touched your lips in years.

The fluorescent lights blink above you, the little buzzing drowned out by your heavy breathing. The space is better than what you've had the past while, but you did miss the privacy of the motel. People had a tendency to stare here.

You turn on the water, guiding it along with your hands to wash away the bile. Blood trickles down from your knuckles, the split ends of flesh flaking off the bone. You can see the white underneath. The sound of the door opening brings your attention away from it. You avoid the mirror despite its desperate pleas.

No what you can't just leave me here! Please you can't be serious! You're just going to let him keep me in here?! Please just look at me, don't go.

You look towards the mohawk showing itself first.

When you first met Soap, you had been taken aback. He had a very intense personality, a fire within that outshined in his actions. You have yet to determine your own disposition on him. He's friendly enough towards you, all things considered.

"Ah there ye are." He's been standing outside that door for who knows how long. He likely heard the wretched sound as your stomach gave in on itself. Why he chose now to step in, eludes you.

You clear your throat, the hunch in your back stretching out after you turn off the running water. Your fingers run over your knuckles; the wounds gone. "Do you need something?" keeping your voice steady and polite proves a more difficult task than you'd like it to.

"Have ye had lunch yet...?" he's being careful with you. It's a revelation you didn't expect to have for him, did he figure something out he shouldn't have? Does he know?

"Ah was gonna invite ye to join us this mornin' for breakfast, but ah couldn't find ye." Good that had been the intention. A part of you did recognize you couldn't hole yourself away forever though. You were already the odd one out in the group of four.

"Oh.."

Your voice is too weak

The mirror echoes.

"Right...I..."

You clear your throat again, it feels too constricted, the air in here is not enough for you.

You catch yourself in his vibrant blue eyes. You could see an ocean in them, the beautiful waves at sea, the smell of salt in the air. You can feel the surgent winds ghosting over your skin, the sting and burn as water enters your lungs, a warm hand on the back of your neck holding you down. A faraway chanting of prayer echoes muffled in your ears.

"No...I haven't" you try to muster a smile.

"Good," he says pleased "ye're with me then."

The sea is faraway.

The mess hall is the exact kind of hell you expected it to be. Loud, obnoxious, filled with potential social threats and unnecessary questions on the verge from the man sitting in front of you. The only bit of luck you seem to have kept, shows itself in the lack of soldiers here at all. Most of them had likely already eaten.

The meal Infront of you looked anything but appetizing. Yet Soap seemed all the more happy to devour it with no complaints. He's been talking your head off ever since you sat down, clueing you in on things at base. Most of it is useful information you manage to retain, but after awhile your ears goes deaf despite how much you want to listen.

Though you have to admit that it sounds like they're a tight knit group. The 141 formed quite awhile ago, managing to take out several high-level threats. It made sense to put them up against the divine principle, but you couldn't help the doubt in your mind that anything would come of it. Even if you managed to take the group down once more, they would just resurface years later until you took out the root of the problem.

You had failed to do it once.

"...are ye listening?"

Your eyes flicker up from your murky food, locking eyes with Soap. What the hell kind of name was that anyway. Was he good at cleaning dishes? A lot of code names tend to be teasing or insults, so maybe he got teased for it?

"Yeah," you reassure him by briefly giving him your undivided attention. You'd quickly trail out again.

"Ye can tell me to shut up, ah know ah talk a lot" he doesn't sound ashamed of it, but you can hear the hint of self deprecation. Someone's definitely shamed him in the past. You had no intention to do so, you quite preferred people who talk a lot. They talk fast, easy, and typically give way more information than they should which paints you a better picture. A bonus point that it fills out the silence you bring.

"No... it’s nice," you mutter and pick up your fork. You might as well try to fight some of it down, you hadn't even touched any of it yet, and Soap was practically done even with his rambling.

You didn't know whether the lack of people in a typically populated space made you more or less anxious.

"So, ye used to hunt these people a few years ago?"

You meet his eyes for the first time in what feels like forever. You're not sure what you were supposed to find in them, but definitely not the curiosity that shines. This entire taskforce is playing with a hellfire they do not understand. It's practically impossible to take it down, even from within, lord knows you've tried.

"Yeah."

You could bite your lip bloody trying to think of ways to continue the conversation from here. He goes wildly quiet for you. Is he expecting for you to elaborate? What does he even want you to say? What were you allowed to say? What did they know? How much information is appropriate over a lunch in a very public area?

You were starting to regret your decision of agreeing to all of this. You hadn't even started and the stress was pulling you down under.

"They're hard to find, even with a full team" he shakes his head amused, "ah can't even imagine what it must've been like hunting them practically all alone."

"I wasn't alone."

He seems surprised. Good.

Kate hadn't told them every detail.

"They were tenacious then; I don't doubt the group wont behave much different this time around. They always end up with the same values, the same goal." You ramble on, catching yourself by biting your tongue.

"What's the goal?" he asks.

"Doomsday preppers in a nutshell, just add a slimy layer of misguided religion on top of it." You finally take a big bite of your food. It slides down your throat slowly, the dryness, or size catching you off-guard.

Soap slides your glass closer to you. "Not new, but also not every day ye see it to this large of an extent."

"It's been organized for years now, they're not likely to stop from a threat from the authorities. Only way is to take out the roots." You mumble on after getting your throat cleared. There were quite a few ways to go about doing that, all of them left an acidic taste in your mouth.

You could see the way he wanted to ask more. He should refrain, wait for it all to be revealed in proper time instead of probing you for information in an informal interrogation. A quite nice one at that.

You had yet to decide on how close you wanted to get to him.

John MacTavish, Soap.

He was a sergeant, chatty nature, one for jokes, witty, smart. A person worthy to note, despite rebellious appearances.

The captain had yet to earn your respect, and likewise yours his. He was impressive on all accounts. He would also be the first person to throw you off this mission at a sign of weakness. Valuable in its own right.

Kyle was indifferent towards you, a bit cold perhaps, though he seemed a gentleman when it came down to it.

Ghost was......Simon.

You didn't know what you expected when you met Simon again. He's a lot more different than you thought he would be. Taking on the persona of Ghost, you suppose you can't blame him for needing an escape, but the motif still stirs something awful in your chest. Neither of you really got over it.

Maybe you'd have preferred it if he wasn't so aloof with you, a bit more direct in your long-awaited reunion. Perhaps it would have been better if it had mimicked TV, the rain and yelling and screaming in a scenic location to make it more meaningful to you. Unfortunately, reality tends to be far more boring.

"So did he always wear that mask?"

"Ghost? Aye, as long as I've known the bastard," he chuckles "can ask Price about before that, he's known 'im the longest."

There's a pang in your heart, something that feels an awful lot like a drop jealousy, but you can't allow that. It wouldn't be one bit fair. If you were the one to walk away from him then, were you really allowed to feel anything at all for him? Certainly not jealousy over the new relationships he'd build. You should be happy, you really should.

But how dare he abandon you so fast.

You shake your head free of the feeling. Wrongful, wishful, thinking wouldn't change the truth nor the fact he was supposedly better off here.

"Known him long?"

"Ever since we got assigned on this taskforce, give or take a few years now. And Ye?"

"Old acquaintances."

There's another sting in your heart that burns something fierce. All the nights you had spent wishing you were still in contact with him coming back to you. Times when it felt like a single word from him would make life worth living again. A single glance from him could make it worth anything.

You tried to ignore that bit.

But the mask had a symbolism you didn't like any better. You'd only be arrogant to think or claim that you still knew him and his thoughts, but it was still distasteful. Had he forgotten? You had both ran from it, difference was he now wore it on his face and you watched it creep in the shadows.

You had always hated the cold streaks in first signs of winter. When the temperature went freezing, the trees losing their colour, the sun hiding more often now behind threatening clouds. However still no snow. All the unfortunate parts with none of the benefits.

And standing on Simon's freezing front porch didn't help. He was taking too long. It had been half a minute since you rung the doorbell. Where the hell was he? His parents were supposed to be out, and despite his little brother still being home, the two of you would take any opportunity you could take.

You wrap your jacket closer around you. The biting frost nipping at your cheeks and nose. For a moment you debate whether you should ring the bell again, but you remember his words clear, he had told you to just go in, even if it felt wrong to do that without a formal invitation straight from the door.

You hadn't been here too many times. Some part of yourself too scared that the smell of smoke would sting your clothes, and that your parents would know exactly where you had been. You needed to be careful, one wrong decision and they'd forbid you from seeing him again.

You aren't sure if you could handle that.

The door creeks when you open it, too loud for your taste. It makes you grimace. You try calling out for him, to no response. There's a smell of freshly baked bread, likely at the hands of his mum.

A smile tugs on your lips, your stomach twisting hungrily in your body. Hurriedly you kick off your shoes, and hang up your jacket, emerging in the home's living room. For a moment you wonder if anyone is even home, it feels cold from the lack of interaction.

"Simon?" it's not like him to leave you alone like that. Was he even home?

You tiptoe towards the hallway peeking down the dark way. When you stare too long, the shadows move occasionally, takes shape like moving smoke. Another time you softly call his name, slowly coming up to Simon's and his brother’s bedroom.

It's cracked open very slightly, the shine of light coming from the slit. It illuminates the dying flowers placed neatly on a bookshelf. You move to open the door, but before you can get there, you feel a tap on your shoulder.

The hairs on the back of your neck rise, the subtle warm breath from someone else hitting your skin. It felt wrong, and in the back of your mind you knew who it was, what he was doing. You whipped around, the fear having already seeped into your eyes. You were ready to shield yourself, stare into the tall figure that looked like the personification of death.

The scream that erupted from your lungs, weren't only of fear but also from genuine shock. The figure wasn't tall like you had expected, instead you had to glance downwards to meet the eyes behind a white skull mask. You stumble backwards, crashing your body against the door and falling all the way down to the floor.

The boy stands above you, a fit of psychotic little giggles come from him which make your stomach churn with disgust. He holds a butterknife in his hand. It's the only reason you haven't gotten up yet as you stare at his display, trying to mimic his father.

"Tommy what are you doing!" you shout out offended. You hope it covers the tinge of fear you carry. In no universe should Simon's little brother look like this, in no world should he be able to scare you this badly.

The antsy sensation isn't just from the initial surprise, it swirls in your blood at the sight of a raised knife. It doesn't matter that it isn't sharp, it doesn't even matter that it's not directly pointed at you.

It makes you remember. The late nights, the early mornings, the fights that took place within your own home. The list of threats you'd heard, you could recite them as clear as your favourite quote from your favourite book.

"Tommy...put down the knife." You don't hear the tremble in your voice but he does. He tilts his head; a line of light falls over the skull mask. His eyes are illuminated beneath it, they carry nothing but distaste for you.

He's never liked you. You were fine with that, but this is just too far. Where was Simon anyway!? If Tommy was home then he should be as well, maybe even his mother if anything at all.

Like a saving grace, an angel sent from the heavens, you hear his uncertain voice call out shakily.

"Tommy what are you doing, give that to me."

Simon pulls you even closer to his form, your legs shift from how you're sitting halfway into his lap. He had practically forced you this close when you started to complain about the cold. Not that you minded the proximity itself.

"Are you sure we can't just lock a room, so he won't disturb us?" You nuzzle closer into his side. A big breath exits your lungs, it rises upwards like a little cloud. His arm pulls your jacket closer around, his hand settling on your waist to give you a little squeeze.

"We're fine here," he mumbles into your hair "got you all to myself."

"I know," you say exasperated "it's just why would he do that...it's not...its..."

You don't know how to formulate your words right. It's hard to explain exactly what you saw from your perspective on the floor. A terrifying display you never want to see on Tommy's innocent face again. That look was reserved for his father, not that you were any happier seeing it on him either.

"He's been acting up...mood swings and all that" Simon sighs and shakes his head. "He's done it to me too a few times when mom and dad are fighting...I... don’t understand it. Even when dad brought that snake in, he was all giddy...I don't think he really understands," Simon confesses.

"Wait, what snake?!" you manage to pull yourself away from his arms. You stay close in his hold to keep sharing body heat, but you raise yourself on your knees so you're looking down at his face. "Your dad brought a snake into your home, to you, and he just laughed?" you sounded pissed off, and rightfully so you were. He'd never told you this before now.

"Yeah, were years ago now but..." he raises a hand, his thumb brushing over to dull marks above his lips "it bit me."

Your eyebrows furrow and you have to hold yourself back from not yelling out in frustration. You bite down on your own lip hard, and reach a hand up to gently run your fingers over the two scars in the form of dots. He closes his eyes as he feels your skin on his, let's out a shuddering breath. He always gets like this now at your touch, he always seems so affected, always positively.

In the beginning you thought it was just hormones, puberty for him now that you're both well into your teenage years. A round of "Boys will be boys," as your mother would keep saying whenever you told her how you saw the boys at school pick on the girls in the most horrendous ways.

Simon's a boy but you've never seen him be that cruel. And then you started to think it might just be you he's like this with, that to anyone else, any other girl or boy that gets close never gets to see him have this kind of reaction.

He opens his eyes and your breath catches in your throat with an ugly little sound. It makes you snort, giggling into your hand as you listen to his rumble of a chuckle. His arms snake around your waist, bring you in closer, pressing your bodies up against each other as much as can be.

He looks up at you like you're the only person in the world.

Like you're everything to him, as if you were to go his world would collapse around him. And you know it's true because you feel the same way. If he were to ever leave, you wouldn't know how to function, you wouldn't have an escape from the abuse, a person to keep you afloat when you're drowning.

You lean down a little to place a soft peck just above his lips, on the dotted scars.

You're not sure what true love is, but if you'll ever have a chance at it, it has to be this. There can be no other explanation for that glint in his eye reserved only for you.

He looks at you with pure love.

Soap looks at you expectantly. The dull sounds of the mess hall fill your ears again, you didn't even realize you zoned out. You only pray it wasn't for an unusually long time.

"We knew each other way back, before he joined the military I think." You try your best to play it off as not a big deal. As if you hadn't been in deep with him once upon an easier time. You doubted Simon would want to bring more attention to it than necessary when it came to his teammates.

"Before? Woah, can finally say ah know someone who knew the legendary ghost before he became ghost." He sounds pleased with himself. You don't understand the difference.

Like speaking of the devil himself, the tall dark figure with a mask you wanted to rip off him, emerged into the hall. It didn't turn many heads, but the way you whipped your head dramatically brought Soap's attention to him as well.

"Well...speak of the devil..." he mumbled. You could hear the smile on his lips without looking.

It's a bit late to come in for lunch, but when you think about it you didn't see him go eat with the others, while you were actively avoiding them. He would always retreat into his own room or office, like you would do.

Both you and Soap watches as he goes up to select what his lunch will be. Occasionally you glance towards Soap, observing his interest in Simon, you try to gouge at their relationship. They'd likely be good friends, having a soldier camaraderie for years now. It made you wonder if Soap would now qualify as one to know more about the boy you used to be so close with, than you do yourself.

You look back to Simon, trying to get a proper glimpse of his mask again. You have to bite back an annoyed groan when they flood your vision again.

The shadows encompass his mask all around. They block out the once dirty white with a coal black. It moves around like a mass, obscuring his face, his head taking on spiky ends, then blocky, then smooth. It makes him look like the creatures in the mirrors, the only thing left being the uncanny clear view of his eyes.

They're so visible to you that they freak you out more than the moving shadows, looking straight out of an uncomfortable picture you'd find on the internet. When he finally picks up his food and turns to your direction, your breath catches in your throat with an ugly little sound.

Soap looks at you concerned, but you wave him off quickly taking a big gulp of your water.

You look back to see exactly what you thought it was. You'd recognize that look on him anywhere from just his eyes. People say eyes are the windows to someone's soul, you don't know if you believe it for everyone else or even yourself, your eyes look so dull in the mirror, but for Simon it's the truest statement you've heard.

Despite the time apart, that look is burned into your retinas. It's been an image you clung to over the years, you last remnant of him, something to remind you of what you once had.

And he's looking towards you, like he used to do.

He's looking towards you with an expression you haven't seen in person in years.

He's looking towards you with a look of love you'd never think you'd see on his face again.

He's looking towards you with such devotion that someone like you doesn't deserve from someone like him.

You realize it too late. You glance away from Simon and look to the man sitting in front of you

He looks at you with pure love.

He's not looking at you.

Are you seriously jealous over a man you haven't seen in years?

You know it's pathetic. You know it's nonsensical. You know you shouldn't.

Yet you pace back and forth in your room, the shadows louder than they've ever been in months. They corner you in on every side, lunge out at you when you get too close to the walls. Their thousand little voices overlap in a chorus of insults.

Vile, pathetic, weak, useless, killer.

Your hands raise up to cover your ears but it does nothing to dampen the intensity. Your clothes feel too tight on your body, the air too humid, a certain place in the room burning hot with agony and shame. The little space under your bed. The bag with the letters that once brought you comfort.

They burn hot even from a distance. A rush of hot and cold going through your bloodstream. Ice beneath your skin one moment and boiling blood the next.

Did he ever even look at you like that? Wasn't it different back then? He had the dumb puppy love for you none of that was real.

"Shut up," your voices breaks in your throat and comes out a meek whisper.

Just take a look at those pathetic letters.

"No..."

Each one of them so much later than the next. Spaced out perfectly to leave you in the dark, first a week then two then a month then two months then...

"Shut it!" you shout out with the animalistic ferocity you've been taught. The shadows retract slightly, giving you more room to breathe. Normally you try to ignore the voices that go through your head, you've found answering them only encourage their absurd bait. They could taunt you all they wanted. Voices instilled by vile men in your life, repeated over and over and over and over and over.

Until they manifested themselves within your skull and refused to leave.

In a way you know the things you are seeing aren't real, but it feels so solid. All of it just your fragmented mind trying to make sense of what you were forced to see. None of it could be real.

Sometimes you think that you could actually reach out and touch them, but anytime you've tried they just retract further away from you. You've always hated how it swims in your vision, distracts you from what's actually important.

You look towards the bed, under it, the bag, the letters that almost flood out of it from where you've thrown it. They call to you, scream at you so silently. Your legs are sluggish like walking through water as they carry you there. Your fingers touching what feels like knives as you pull out the nearest letter.

The little piece of paper he left on your bed before he left for the military.

To my love, my dear little spider

You read quietly, the whisper barely even audible on your lips.

I'm sorry that I have to go. Don't fall apart without me, okay?

See you soon, your Simon

Likes, Reblogs and comments are always appreciated, love ya! <3

Taglist: @chickennn-soupp @unlikelyaperson @ghostlythots @lilynotdilly @islnd-vybz @spicyspicyliving @kaoyamamegami

[aishangotome]

Nokto Klein: Chapter 5

Chapter 4

When Nokto and I headed towards the noisy part of the venue, we saw a large crowd of attendees gathered around something.

(What happened...?)

Feeling a bad premonition churning in my chest, I hurriedly pushed my way through the crowd and saw––

Mister Grato, Nokto's former tutor, collapsed on the floor.

Emma: M-Mister Grato!?

Nokto: Mister Grato, are you alright?

Nokto immediately rushed over and lifted Mister Grato up, but his eyes remained closed in pain, and it was clear at a glance that he was unconscious.

Emma: Could it be...?

Nokto: No, he's breathing. Get a doctor immediately.

At those words, an attendant dashed out of the room.

Silvio: I heard a commotion all the way from the separate room where I was in a business meetin', and to think this is what happened.

Emma: Prince Silvio...

Silvio, who seemed to grasp the situation at a glance, began to quickly give instructions to the remaining attendants.

Silvio: Move the attendees who weren't with Grato to another hall.

Silvio: Also, report this to the person in charge of the party. We dunno if this was an accident or intentional.

(This is no time to be stunned. Is there anything I can do to help––)

Noble 1: Mister Grato wasn't ill or anything...

Noble 2: So you're saying he was attacked by someone?

Noble 3: That's impossible. Grato was a good man, liked by all the teachers and students.

Noble 1: He had a good reputation in social circles too, didn't he?

Noble 3: Then what could be the cause...?

Noble 2: "The twins of Rhodolite bring both good fortune and misfortune," was it?

(...! Why is that being brought up here?)

Noble 3: Grato was acquainted with them, wasn't he...? Perhaps he was caught up in some ill will.

Noble 2: Or perhaps it's a disaster.

Noble 1: ...Maybe that rumor is true after all.

Noble 2: There are some countries that base their national policies on divination that transcends human knowledge. You can't say it's absolutely impossible.

(This is like saying that Mister Grato was attacked because of Nokto...!)

An unsettling atmosphere filled with anxiety and malice spread through the venue like waves.

(Mister Grato has always cared about Nokto since he was a child.)

*flashback to earlier*

Grato: I noticed King Nokto as soon as I entered the venue, but the way you interact with Lady Emma is so natural––

Grato: He didn't seem to be forcing a smile like he used to.

Nokto: If I had met with Mister Grato again without having met Emma,

Nokto: I'm sure I would have worried you again.

*flashback over*

Remembering the two of them talking intimately makes my heart ache even more at the unfounded suspicion cast upon Nokto.

(Besides, this isn't something you should be talking about when someone has collapsed...!)

Emma: Excuse me, but––

Emma: ––N-Nokto!?

As if to stop me from retorting, Nokto pulled me closer by the waist.

He shakes his head at me, surprised, and whispers in a low voice.

Nokto: You understand, don't you? Anything you say here will only make the situation worse.

(That's right... The one who gets emotional always loses.)

I somehow manage to suppress the anger that was controlling my heart, even to the point of forgetting that.

Emma: I'm sorry, thank you.

Nokto: Don't apologize. I know you're angry on my behalf.

Emma: Nokto...

Unlike me, Nokto was as carefree as ever, and he gently patted my back as if to comfort me.

Silvio, who had finished giving instructions to the attendants, turned his gaze to Nokto.

Silvio: You stay here in the venue. You're acquainted with Grato, so you must be concerned, right?

Nokto: Of course, that's what I intended to do from the beginning.

Emma: But there are a lot of eyes here, so wouldn't it be better to take Mister Grato to a separate room?

Nokto: No, I'd like to, but since we don't know why he collapsed yet, it's better not to move him unnecessarily.

(That's true... But I don't want to leave Nokto here in the venue, exposed to those malicious gazes...)

Just as Nokto gave me a worried look, he opened his mouth to address Silvio.

Nokto: I should be the only one to stay, right? Could you show Emma to a separate room?

Emma: W-Wait, Nokto. I––

Silvio: It's true that we can't have the future queen of another country standing 'round waiting. Alright.

Emma: No, it's alright––

Nokto: Emma.

The words I was about to continue were stopped by Nokto.

Nokto: Making a face that would further please the surrounding nobles, were you always such a bad girl?

Nokto: Look forward to tonight. I'll teach you that I'm the only one you're allowed to please.

Emma: Nokto...

Emma: Please... let me stay by your side. I'll be careful with my expressions.

When I expressed my feelings honestly, Nokto's crimson eyes widened––

And a soft smile immediately spread across his face, tinged with a hint of joy.

Nokto: You're so disobedient. It seems you've really become a bad girl.

Nokto: But thank you. With those feelings of yours, I'll be fine.

Nokto: Don't worry, I'll end this quickly.

(Nokto really doesn't seem to care about this situation where suspicion is cast upon him.)

(Rather, I can tell that he hates the idea of me being here more.)

Sensing a slight air of finality from Nokto, I awkwardly nodded at his crimson eyes that were staring straight at me.

(I'm worried, but I'll trust Nokto.)

Pushing down the lingering feeling of reluctance, I left the venue, guided by the attendant.

-

Nokto, who was watching Emma's back as she left the venue, was still being subjected to piercing gazes filled with various emotions such as doubt, wariness, and curiosity.

Silvio: No matter what you do in Benitoite, your impression only worsens, doesn't it?

When Silvio lifted the corners of his mouth in a lighthearted manner, Nokto shrugged.

Nokto: Well, yeah. I'm rather looking forward to seeing how much worse it can get.

Silvio: Ha, it's good that you can be so defiant.

Silvio: You immediately checkin' on Grato's condition would normally be considered the right decision, but...

Silvio: In Benitoite, where you're unpopular, there are those who will be even more suspicious if you're too quick and efficient.

Nokto: It would have been fine if it was just suspicion.

Nokto: I didn't think someone would try to frame me so publicly this early on.

Nokto: ...Really.

A quiet anger, unbecoming of his sigh-mixed words, dwelled in Nokto's eyes.

Silvio frowned suspiciously.

Silvio: What are ya thinking?

Nokto: Nothing. More importantly, what do you think about this?

Silvio: If I had the kind of mind that could dismiss events as "misfortune," every day would be blissful.

Nokto: Oh, so you're a realist. I've heard that you're friends with a foreign god, though...

Silvio: Ha, that's irrelevant. I just don't have time to listen to nonsense.

Silvio: However, I do think you've brought trouble with ya.

Nokto: Wouldn't this be within your expectations?

Silvio: You knew to some extent too, didn't ya? That something would happen.

Nokto: Well, I don't have a carefree mind like the people here.

Nokto lowered his eyes as he watched the doctor rush in and examine Grato.

Silvio: I heard from the noble who was with Grato earlier.

Silvio: He said they were havin' a pleasant chat while drinking until he collapsed.

Nokto: If that testimony is true, there should be a broken glass on the floor, but I don't see a single shard.

Silvio: There are no shards, let alone any suspicious traces.

Nokto: There was probably medicine or something in the glass.

Nokto: Mister Grato drank it and had the glass taken away before he collapsed...

Silvio: But why would they bother takin' the glass?

Nokto: Perhaps they were afraid of being traced through the source of the drug... Or maybe there was another reason.

Nokto: No, no matter how much I think about it, there's not much information right now, and there's no way to speculate.

Silvio: Yeah. Well, it's unlikely to end with just this, though.

Nokto furrowed his brow slightly, as if lost in thought.

Nokto: ––...

Silvio: Huh? Did you say something?

Nokto: No...

Nokto: It's nothing.

-

The founding anniversary party ended in chaos.

We finally returned to Benitoite Castle and were alone, just Nokto and I, but––

(I haven't been able to ask Nokto about what happened to the incident yet, have I?)

(Even in the carriage on the way back...)

*flashback*

Emma: Hey, Nokto, about Mister Grato...

Nokto: More importantly, you must be tired after all that, right? Get some rest until we reach the castle.

Nokto: Here, shall I let you use my lap as a pillow so you can sleep a little?

Silvio: If you really do that, I'll never let ya ride in this carriage again.

Nokto: You're surprisingly innocent if you think this is too much.

Silvio: Huh? Who are ya talkin' to?

-

Emma: Hey, about Mister Grato––

Nokto: That's right, Silvio. If you want a rematch in the card game, I'll be your opponent anytime.

Silvio: Don't cry if I win.

Nokto: I wonder who will be the one crying.

Silvio: Tch, whatever.

-

Emma: Nokto–– ...

Nokto: I'm about to change, so wait a moment. You should get ready for bed first too.

Nokto: Or do you want me to undress you? I'm fine with it. I like taking your clothes off.

Emma: I-I'll change myself!

Nokto: That's a shame.

*flashback over*

I tried to ask Nokto about the incident many times until now, but we couldn't talk properly.

(No, that's not right. That was...)

Every time, I felt like Nokto was interrupting me or diverting the conversation.

(But we're just going to sleep now, so I should be able to hear the whole story this time.)

Emma: Hey, Nokto–– !?

The moment I opened my lips, my arm was suddenly pulled, and the next thing I knew, I was pushed onto the bed.

My inverted vision was filled with Nokto's handsome face as he leaned in close.

Nokto: Emma...

.

.

.

Chapter 6

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[tip-top-cloud-surfer]

The Forgotten Nest (Part 3) - Rooster

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw / Mitchell!OC (Cora)

Word Count: 4.0k

This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only

Warnings: Past Unplanned Teenage Pregnancy; Angst; Absent Father Figures; The 'He Didn't Know About the Pregnancy' Trope; Repeating Trauma Cycles; Crying; Mentions of Cancer (Ice); Named Mitchell Daughter OC (Cora) and Named Mitchell-Bradshaw Son (Nickie)

Summary: Rooster runs into Cora. Ice talks to Nickie about his dad. And Cora tries to not lose her shit.

A.N. There are references to a previous unplanned teenage pregnancy (between two eighteen-year-olds) in this fic. There won't be any flashback scenes to the pregnancy, but the references are still there, so if that makes you uncomfortable, please do not read.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Epilogue

Master List

“Mom?” Nickie called, walking down the stairs to see his mom sipping her morning coffee. Cora stared her son down, recognizing his tone, and waiting for his request. “I know that I’m grounded, but can I take my car today?”

“Have they changed the definition of ‘grounded’ in the last day?” Cora asked sarcastically.

“No, but I promised Ice Pops that I would do some yard work for him,” Nickie replied, causing Cora to raise one suspicious eyebrow. “I have the texts to prove it.”

Cora held out her hand and Nickie placed his phone in it without hesitation. Setting down her coffee, Cora scrolled through a few texts to see that Ice had, in fact, texted Nickie to come over and help out a bit around the house. And after verifying that it was, in fact, Ice’s number, Cora returned the phone to Nickie. Pulling out his keys from the cupboard, she handed those over too.

“You get a free pass today, but you still have twenty-nine days without the car to finish before you get it back completely. And you need to text me when you leave and when you arrive. At school and at Ice’s. And no extra stops, got it?” Cora warned her son, who nodded quickly. “And so help me, Nicholas Peter, if you get another ticket, you’ll be grounded for the rest of your life.”

“Mom, I’ll be fine,” Nickie replied, moving to grab breakfast from the fridge.

“Mhmm,” Cora hummed, shooting her son a look. Setting her mug down in the sink, Cora turned to her son and held out her arms. Nickie instantly reached out and let his mom pull him into a hug and press a kiss to the side of his head. “I love you. But don’t do anything stupid.”

“Mom, I’ll be fine,” Nick reiterated, straightening up. “And I love you too.”

“You’ve got toothpaste on your cheek,” Cora sighed, moving to wipe it with her thumb.

“Mom!” Nickie complained, leaning away from her touch. “Don’t you have to go to work?”

Cora laughed and lightly pushed her son on the shoulder before moving to grab her keys and purse to head to work.

~~~~~

Bradley swore that he still had steam bursting from his eardrums after Hangman’s snide comments in the hangar. After Hangman sauntered away, Rooster broke away from Maverick and the other Daggers, heading in any direction other than the one that Hangman left in to find some semblance of peace.

Finding a quiet corner of base that no one else seemed to be around, Rooster collapsed against the wall of another hangar. Staring out at the waves crashing in the distance, he pulled his knees to his chest and dropped his forehead to his knees.

The whole situation in Miramar was starting to border on unbearable for Rooster.

Between seeing Maverick for the first time in nearly seventeen years, Hangman’s stupid comments about his dad’s accident, and his inability to find Cora, Rooster was really starting to reach his emotional limit. And for Hangman to bring up his dad in front of Maverick at Top Gun of all places . . . Hangman was lucky that other people got in between them in time.

Holding his hand to his head, Rooster tried to regulate his breathing. Wasn’t that what Cora always told him to do when he got like this after his mom died? Four. Six. Eight. Breath in through his nose for four. Hold it for six. Let it out through his mouth for eight.

Four. Six. Eight.

Four. Six. Eight.

Four. Six. Eight.

Dropping his hand away from his face, Rooster thought back to the last time that he got like this while Cora was around. He couldn’t even remember what triggered it that time, probably a nightmare that he blocked out of his memory to keep some personal peace. They were sleeping in his bed that night with Maverick off to Europe for a week.

He remembered how she gathered him in her arms and rested her head on his chest. He remembered her grabbing his hand and holding it in her own as she coached him through the breathing patterns. He remembered how once she managed to calm him down and they settled, she suggested that they go and get a late-night snack at the one diner in town that was always open.

As his stomach growled at the memories of those late nights at the diner, Rooster slowly picked himself off the ground and headed for the locker room. He assumed that it was cleared out by now, so he could get in, get out, and start heading for the diner in record time.

Though he wasn’t sure that a burger and fries was really going to solve this problem for him.  

~~~~~

Nickie pulled into the Kazansky’s driveway right on time and parked outside of their garage. Leaving his bag in the car, Nickie headed up to the front door and knocked lightly. A few moments later, Sarah came to answer the door and smiled up at him.

“Nickie! Oh, you’re getting so big!”

“Hey, Aunt Sarah,” he returned, letting her pull him into a tight hug. “How’ve you been?”

“Oh, you know,” Sarah breathed out, withholding a rather big secret from the teenager. For his own peace of mind. “How’s school going?”

“Good,” Nickie replied, stepping inside. “Is Ice Pops in a meeting? I don’t want to do anything loud if he’s got a meeting going on.”

“No, no, he’s free for the rest of the evening. But I think he wanted to talk to you first,” Sarah stated, gesturing down the hall. “Go right in.”

Nickie nodded and walked down the hall towards Ice’s office. Lightly tapping on the door, Nickie let himself into the office. Ice spun in his chair and smiled over at Nickie, who was practically like one of his own grandkids. It wasn’t odd for Ice and Sarah to watch Nickie while Cora was working or going to school and Nickie was very fond of his Ice Pops, a nickname that he started using when he was only three.

“Hey, Ice Pops,” Nickie called, dragging a chair over. “You wanted to talk to me?”

I thought that you were grounded, Ice typed out, causing Nickie to sigh.

“Did my mom tell you?” Nickie asked, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Ice shrugged, not giving away his source, but Nickie was sure that his mom texted Ice about it. While Cora loved her dad and appreciated his support through everything, Maverick wasn’t always the voice of reason that she needed. Especially when it came to raising Nickie. Ice was practically a second father to her and Nickie knew his mom treated Ice’s advice as sacred and confided in him about most things.

Have you told her?

“Told her what?”

In response, Ice tapped the insignia on his screen. Nickie shook his head slowly, sitting back in his seat.

“You know how she is, Ice. She’d have a heart attack about it,” Nickie replied, fiddling with his fingers and staring at the ground. “I’ve got to warm her up to the idea more first.”

And Mav?

“Are you kidding? The only times that I’ve ever heard him talk about the Academy was to talk crap about it. And the whole Navy politics aspect of it all,” Nickie murmured, resting his head on his hand. “He’d be on my mom’s side on this one. I know it.”

How do you know?

“He’s trying to get me to fly commercial,” Nickie stated, turning back to Ice’s gaze. “It’s like he wants me to follow in his footsteps, but not all the way. And he keeps trying to get me to talk to Uncle Slider about the commercial industry and I’d rather not drag anyone else into my mess.”

Ice nodded slowly, seemingly thinking over Nickie’s words.

One day, you’ll need to tell them.

“I know,” Nickie murmured, rubbing his cheek slowly. “But I don’t want to freak them out. Not right now. They’re both on edge with this mission and . . .” Nickie trailed off before turning back to Ice, who nodded slowly to show that he understood. “So . . . he’s really here? In town?”

Ice nodded solemnly, folding his arms across his stomach and looking very serious for a moment.

“And he’s on the mission?”

Ice nodded once again, causing Nickie to shift in his seat. After a few moments of silence, Ice reached out for his keyboard once again.

Talk to your mom.

“Ice, she’s going to freak out,” Nickie stated seriously, leaning forward a bit. “She always just . . . shuts down whenever anyone wants to talk about him.” Ice, in response, pointed at the screen once more, causing Nickie to sigh. “I know, I know, it’s her story to tell, not anyone else’s and if I want to know the full story, I have to ask her.”

Ice stared at Nickie for a moment, noting all of the similarities that he shared with his dad that he didn’t even realize. It wasn’t too long ago, after all, that Bradley Bradshaw was sitting in that same chair, asking Ice about applying to the Naval Academy. And Nickie was sixteen. He wasn’t a baby anymore. Nickie needed to know about his dad. He needed to be given the choice to know.

“Is he . . . my dad . . . do you think he’s . . .” Nickie stumbled over his words, trying to figure out how to phrase it properly. “Do you think he’s a bad person?” Nickie finally landed on. Ice shook his head without hesitation, which caused Nickie to nod slowly. “Do you think that he’ll come looking for us? For my mom? For . . . me?”

Ice shrugged his shoulders honestly, not knowing the answer to Nickie’s question. Turning back to his screen, Ice typed again.

Do you want him to?

“No,” Nickie stated immediately, frowning and on the defensive. Ice sat back in his seat, letting Nickie get out his anger at his dad. Ice personally knew the feeling very well. “He left and never looked back. Why would I want him around? Why would I want someone who hurt my mom and who never cared to stick around to meet me . . . why would I want them around?”

Ice was about to type away again when he was suddenly overtaken by coughs. Nickie, the attentive boy that he was, quickly got up and handed Ice some tissues. As Ice continued to hack away, Nickie got up and filled up Ice’s glass with some water from a nearby bottle. Nickie eyed Ice worriedly as he started to settle, his brown eyes quickly assessing Ice for injury or concern.

“Are you alright, Ice Pops?”

Ice waved his hand in Nickie’s direction in a ‘stop worrying about me’ motion that caused Nickie to crack a small smile. Returning to his seat across from Ice, Nickie waited patiently for Ice to settle again and reach for his keyboard. After taking another few moments to catch his breath, Ice reached for the keyboard once more.

Don’t be afraid to talk to your mom.

“I know,” Nickie sighed, nodding along slowly.

And don’t you dare get another speeding ticket.

“Okay, first of all, it was a speed trap,” Nickie stated to his own defense, earning a disapproving look from Ice in return. “And second of all, I was only going eight above the speed limit and you know that they just gave me a ticket because it was the end of the month and they had to meet their quota.”

Ice’s disapproving stare intensified just a bit more at Nickie’s words.

“Come on, Ice Pops, that’s the look you give Gramps when he does something stupid. It was just a speeding ticket!”

Ice made a motion of ‘I got my eye on you’ in Nickie’s direction, causing the teenager to hold up his hands in surrender.

“I got it, Admiral.”

Ice motioned for Nickie to stand up and slowly moved to do the same. Nickie quickly stood up and offered a steadying hand to Ice, a little worried that he would keel over. But Ice stayed on his feet and with strong hands, held Nickie at arm’s length.

“Talk to them, Nickie. Please,” Ice grunted out with his voice strained from the cancer.

“I will, Ice. I will,” Nickie agreed softly, staring worriedly at his second grandfather. “Are you okay? Did you want me to call Aunt Sarah for you?”

Ice shook his head and patted Nickie on his shoulder before pulling the teenager in for a tight hug. Nickie returned the hug, not truly realizing the significance of it.

“I’ll talk to them,” Nickie murmured out quietly, causing Ice to nod and squeeze him tighter.

~~~~~

Cora pulled into the parking lot and headed for one of the staple restaurants in Miramar. Her dad brought her and Bradley and later Nickie to the famous diner all the time. Birthdays, graduations, all of those things, they always had dinner here. And, frankly, she didn’t feel like cooking tonight.

Thanking the cashier for the food, Cora turned and headed out of the restaurant, missing the fact that one of the bags on the shelf behind the counter was labeled ‘Bradshaw.’ Heading out of the restaurant, Cora turned for her car and nearly bumped into the person who was coming around the corner.

“I’m so sorry, I—”

Cora’s breath caught in her throat when she looked up to meet a familiar pair of brown eyes. A pair that she saw every time that she looked at her son.

“Cora?” Bradley breathed out, seemingly in just as much shock as her.

“Bradley,” she returned, gulping air nervously.

A bit fidgety, she took a step to the side to get out of the way of the door while also putting some distance in between her and Bradley. She wasn’t really sure what her body was going to do—hell, her hand was itching to smack him across the face but that was considered assault in the State of California, so she just pressed her fist to the side of her leg.

“You’re in Miramar . . .” Cora trailed off, like she didn’t know that information already.

“Yeah,” Bradley agreed, nodding slowly. “And so are you.”

“Yeah, I am,” Cora stated, shifting her weight on her feet.

“You . . .” Rooster started, causing Cora to raise an eyebrow, waiting for him to find his words. Hell, he had sixteen years to prep a sentence and all he had was ‘you.’ “. . . you’re a nurse?”

Cora glanced down at her scrubs before turning back to Bradley, an unimpressed expression settling on her face. Steeling her emotions and reminding herself that acting out would only draw more attention to herself and Nickie as a result, Cora nodded slowly.

“Yeah, I’m a nurse. And you’re a naval aviator,” Cora replied, pursing her lips together.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Well, I’m glad that you got what you always wanted,” Cora stated, forcing a smile.

“Cora, I . . .” Rooster paused when he noticed how many people were milling around, “. . . I was actually hoping to talk to you while I was in town.”

“About?” Cora pressed, her patience running thin.

“How we left—”

“—You left. You left us,” Cora interjected emotionally, causing Rooster to pause for a moment.

“Us?” Bradley asked, frowning with confusion.

“Me and my dad,” Cora corrected herself, lying straight through her teeth.

“Cora, you know why I had to leave,” Bradley insisted, causing Cora to force herself to take a breath before she actually smacked him across the face. “I wasn’t going to stay in a house with someone who betrayed me like that.”

“And I betrayed you?” Cora asked sharply, causing Bradley to straighten up. “Did I, Bradley?”

“You weren’t listening to me,” Rooster stated, earning a sharp glare from Cora.

“And you sure paid it forward by ignoring me for sixteen years,” Cora snapped back, causing Rooster to frown. “I called you. I texted you. I sent you letters.” She let out an incredible laugh and shook her head. “And you didn’t feel bad enough to return any of those before.”

“I’m sorry, Cora,” Rooster replied, causing her glare to intensify. “I’m sorry for leaving you.”

“Okay. You can mark me off of your list and move on,” Cora stated simply, causing Rooster to frown.

“What are you talking about?”

“All of you do it,” Cora stated, referencing her own father and the men who raised her. “Right before some mission that you know is excessively dangerous, you’ll start going around, making amends, and leaving things on better notes than usual so that if God forbid something happens to you, in your last seconds you won’t be consumed by guilt.”

Cora stared up at Rooster with a fire in her eyes before forcing it down and reminding herself that she had Nickie waiting at home for her. She had Nickie. And she didn’t need Rooster’s help. She wasn’t a scared teenager with a little baby anymore.  

They were better off on their own. And she didn’t need Rooster’s sympathy either.

“You’re free,” Cora replied, shooting Rooster a look before turning and heading to her car.

Bradley stood there for a moment, absolutely speechless and confused about what just happened. He had severely underestimated how hurt Cora was by his leaving all those years ago. He knew that they were in love at the time but they were teenagers. And nearly seventeen years had passed since he left. Frankly, he assumed that she got over him a long time ago.

Hell, she looked more pissed than he felt when he saw Maverick for the first time in the hangar. Confused and trapped in a loop of questions that he didn’t have the answers to, Rooster slowly entered the diner to pick up his food and head back to base to stew in his emotions.

~~~~~

Cora furiously washed the dishes in the sink, trying to let her frustration out on the ceramic. Her brief conversation with Bradley kept running through her mind and she found herself grinding her teeth in a fit of rage and frustration.

She barely heard the door open and Nickie step inside. Noting his mom at the sink, Nickie slowly approached her with clear caution in his steps.

“Mom?” Nickie called softly.

“Dinner is on the table. I got you your usual,” Cora stated, still scrubbing away.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Cora grunted out. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I want to talk about my dad,” Nickie explained to his mom after a few moments.

“You—”

Cora spun to her son, metaphorically smacked across the face with that comment. The mug that she had thoroughly scrubbed slipped out of her soapy hands and shattered on the ground from the force of her spin. Nickie jumped and Cora seemed to snap out of her trance at the sound of broken ceramic.  

“Shit! Don’t walk over here!”

“Mom?”

“I’m fine, Nickie. Just grab me the broom, please.”

Cora squatted down and started picking up the bigger pieces while Nickie went to grab the broom. Together, though Cora tried to shoo her son away, they cleaned up the mess and deposited it in the trashcan outside. Putting the broom back in the closet, Cora slowly turned to her son with a withdrawn and nervous expression.

“You want to talk about your dad?” she asked softly, barely above a whisper.

“If you want to, Mom, I know—” Nickie started, but Cora cut him off.

“—No, no,” Cora interjected, waving her hand around. “It’s . . . you’re sixteen. And . . .” She trailed off, looking at the ground for a moment, “. . . you have every right to know about your dad.”

Nickie and Cora settled out on the back porch, where Cora and Maverick had their conversation about the subject just a few days prior. Cora jittered a bit nervously, but her gaze was supportive as Nickie tried to form his questions. Grabbing Nickie’s hand, Cora gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Who was he?” Nickie asked softly, causing Cora to squeeze his hand a little tighter.

“He’s . . . he was a family friend. A very close friend. Your grandfather and his father, they were best friends. And so, we became best friends. And he eventually came to live with us. And then we . . . we fell in love.” Cora forced a smile as tears came to her eyes at the memories. “And we made some choices that we probably shouldn’t have because your grandfather was gone a lot in those days.”

Rubbing the back of Nickie’s hand slowly, wanting to make sure that the conversation was as painless as possible, if it was even possible, Cora turned to her son again.

“And then he and your grandfather, they had a fight. A very bad fight. And, so, he left.” Cora looked down at the ground, trying to gather herself. “He left and I found out that I was pregnant with you about a month later. I tried to contact him but after a couple years of no answers . . . I gave up. And I just focused on raising you on my own with your grandfather and everyone else here.”

“He never returned your calls? Or anything?” Nickie asked, his frown deepening.

“No,” Cora whispered out softly. “Not one.”

Nickie nodded slowly, pursing his lips together. He stared at the ground, clenching and unclenching his jaw as he worked through some emotions that he usually tucked away.

“Does he know that I exist?” Nickie asked, turning back to his mom.

“I don’t think so,” Cora stated honestly. “I honestly don’t think he ever received or read any of my messages.”

Nickie nodded again, dropping his head down so that his mom couldn’t see his expression. Choking up a bit, Nickie tried to steady himself.

“Did you ever wish that . . . that I . . . that I wasn’t—”

“—No!” Cora interjected immediately, her voice breaking. She reached out for her son, pulling him closer to her. “Nickie, look at me.” Gently grabbing her son’s face and turning his head so that he faced her, Cora rubbed his cheeks with her thumbs. “You are the most important person in the world to me, Nickie, and I wouldn’t trade you for anything or anyone in the world. Do you understand me?”

Cora was sobbing herself now and she pulled her son into her arms. Holding her son, Cora rocked him back and forth as she felt his tears start to soak the shoulder of her shirt.

“Don’t you ever let another person’s actions determine your own self-worth, Nickie. And don’t you ever think that I regret what I did to have you.” Cora held her son tighter as her own emotions cracked. “You are my son and I want you and I love you, Nickie. And there is nothing in this world that could ever change that. That will ever change that.”

“I love you too, Mom,” Nickie choked out, causing Cora to hold him closer. The two of them cried together for a moment before Nickie added, “We don’t need him.”

“No, we don’t,” Cora sniffled, rubbing Nickie’s back. “We don’t.”

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Epilogue

A.N. When will Brad Brad finally find out about Nickie? 👀👀 the next chapter!

Tags: @xoxabs88xox@eternallyvenus @mygyn @kmc1989 @thegoddessc @midnightmagpiemama @badasspizzalover @praline357

[dracoslittleangel]

(un)happy ending (draco malfoy)

a/n: although this exactly wasn't the idea, this was still inspired by @just-another-godless-god and i want to thank you for that. also, idk how i went from wanting to write a cute proposal thingy to this. but enjoy, i've written after so long.

pairing- draco malfoy x female! reader

genre: angst

summary: y/n and draco are ex-lovers. y/n gets invited to draco's wedding. what happens when the memories of the past ghost her present?

All the voices faded out in the background when I looked at him. There he stood at the altar, in all his glory, a ravishing tuxedo hugging his body perfectly with his hair styled just the right way-neither too messy, nor too combed. His smile took my breath away, his dimples prominent and his eyes crinkled at the edges. But, as much as I wished he was, I wasn't the one he was smiling at.

Draco Malfoy stood there, stars shining in his eyes as he smiled at his witch. By the radiant smile he had on his face which could light up an entire room, no one could tell he was nervous. But I could. I have known Draco for enough time to tell when he is nervous, or happy, or sad. I could decipher all the emotions which swarmed through his mind and heart at any point of time, yet, it wasn't my place to do so anymore. No, it was Astoria's, who was currently walking down the aisle, arm looped in her father's and eyes drowned in all the emotions a bride would feel- happiness, nervousness and love. She looked utterly beautiful in her gown, like a goddess sent straight down from heaven.

As she reached at the altar, Draco helped her up, kissing her hand and whispering something in her ear which made her cheeks turn red. A sad smile made its way onto my lips. Oh how many times had I dreamt of this exact moment, wishing upon the stars, praying to the almighty, hoping that Draco and I had been the endgame. But, we weren't, and there was nothing I could do about it. I tuned everything out as the ceremony began, my thoughts taking me back to that one night when it all changed.

flashback

It takes years to build something, but it takes only one moment to ruin it, destroy it to pieces. In this case, it was my relationship and trust with Draco that took years to build and one simple sentence that destroyed it all-"I love you, but I am not in love with you anymore."

I looked at him in shock, my mind a whirlwind of emotions and questions. We were at the astronomy tower where Draco had called me to have a talk. I thought it would be our regular stargazing sessions where we ended up gazing at each other, however, little did I know, it was going to lead to something which wouldn't let us even look at each other anymore.

"Y/N, say something", he said, making me snap out of my thoughts. I looked at his pleading and tear-welled eyes, still not able to comprehend anything.

Then, out of nowhere, I spoke the one question that had been bugging my mind since that day, the day when they met, "Its Astoria, isn't it?" My question seemed to take him by surprise and for a moment I thought maybe I was wrong, until I saw the guilt settle in his eyes.

"Y/N, please believe me, nothing happened between me and her. Never in a million years would I even think of cheating on you. You are the perfect woman anyone could ever ask for, I-", I cut him off, my voice a breathy whisper.

"If I was so perfect, why did you even think about it? Was I not enough, Draco?". The droplets of grief and sadness had started making their way down my face.

"You are enough, Y/N, more than enough, so don't you even dare think for even a fraction of a second that it was your fault.", his voice wavered.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. "Then why? Why, Draco? Where did I go wrong? What is it that she has that I don't?"

He tried to reach for me but I took a step back. I didn't need him touching me. His face fell and the the tears finally started flowing down his eyes. Even in this situation, it broke my heart to see him cry. He looked down and closed his eyes, trying to get a hold of himself.

"I-I guess the flame doesn't burn anymore", he exhaled.

My breath hitched for a second, before I let out a breathy chuckle which seemed to surprise Draco. "I think I knew this was coming, deep down somewhere. I saw the way you looked at Astoria the first time you met her, like she was magnificent. But, I always pushed that feeling away. You know why, Draco? Because I trusted you, I trusted you my with life but I guess I was wrong, so so wrong.", The silent tears had turned into sobs, both his and mine.

"I am sorry, Y/N, so fucking sorry. I never meant for her to affect-", I cut him off yet again by shaking my head, speaking between my sobs.

"You are not sorry, Draco. You are not one bit sorry for liking her, you're only sorry because we are ending and honestly, I don't trust you enough now to know that you are sorry in the first place." I can tell the words struck Draco right in his heart and I almost apologized. He opened his mouth to say something but I didn't let him. I couldn't handle anymore of it.

"Leave", I whispered. "I need some time alone". He began to protest but I held my hand up and looked at him. "Please." I guess he could tell by my expression that I couldn't stand looking at him anymore, hence, he nodded and headed down the stairs.

flashback ends

As much as I wished to forget it, I still vividly remember the following weeks. Endless nights of crying in my bed, wondering where I went wrong. Endless days of looking in the mirror wondering if I wasn't pretty enough. Endless questions that rotated in my mind like a tornado. How I spent days, weeks, months even, wondering what would have happened if she hadn't been there, if things went differently. I still wonder what would happen if that night never happened. Would it be me instead of Astoria at the altar?

Suddenly, as if remembering the ceremony, all the voices started coming back in. I watched as the priest asked him that one question, "Do you, Draco Malfoy, take Astoria Greengrass to be your lawfully wedded wife, to stand with her in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, to love and honor her in all days of your life?"

Silver eyes meet mine and the world ceases to exist. I give him a small smile and a nod. He smiles back and looks at his witch, "I do." Tears start welling up again, and I try my best to not let them flow. Tears are a mere tool that indicates a person is grieving, however, it fails to tell you how much the person is grieving. I can't begin to even fathom the load that rests in my heart, yet, I can do nothing but deal with it.

The priest then turns to Astoria, "Do you, Astoria Greengrass , take Draco Malfoy to be your lawfully wedded husband, to stand with him in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, to love and honor him in all days of your life?". She doesn't spend a moment to answer," I do".

"By the power vested in me by the god, I hereby pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

It takes years to build something, but it only takes one moment to ruin it. This time, it was the walls that I had made which took 6 years to build and the image of Draco kissing his wife to crumble it down. All the pain, the sadness, the heartbreak, the feelings I tried to numb came crashing down, the only evidence being the tears which descended down like a river. I closed my eyes in order to stop them, but to no avail. I needed to get out of here.

third person pov

She made her way out, thinking no one would notice as she was standing at the very back. Oh how she was wrong.

She went out in the gardens, needing fresh air. She looked around, hoping no one would be there to see her in this miserable state before she completely broke down. She held onto the fence for support as she sobbed and sobbed, that was until she heard footsteps. She stopped crying altogether.

"Y/N.", she could recognise the voice anywhere. How could she not?

"Draco", she breathed while hastily wiping off her tears before turning around and giving him a fake smile, which he could see right through.

"Are you alright?", he ran a hand through his hair.

She chuckled and said ,"I guess?"

He took a deep breath and took ahold of her hand. They had become good friends eventually after the breakup. Even before their relationship, they had been in each others life for so long that the thought of not being there didn't sit well for both of them. He then began, "You were the first person who I ever felt anything for."

Before he could continue, Y/N shook her head and cut him off. She did not need this today, or ever for that matter, "Draco, stop.", her voice a whisper.

"You were there for me at all steps of my life", Y/N looked at their joint hands and tried to make him stop once more, "Draco-", to only be cut off.

"No, look at me", and so she did and then he began again.

"You were there for me in my best times and worst. You were there for me when I got the dark mark, when I was sick, heck, you were there for me even after I betrayed you! You took my broken self and made me a better version of myself, and I will always be grateful for that, even after my death. And most of all, I will be grateful because you chose to love me even at my lowest point, even after we ended things. You were there to hold me and make me stand on my feet even after the breakup. You could have simply walked away after what I did, but you chose to stay, and for that, I don't know how to thank you.", he took another deep breath before continuing, "You were my first everything, Y/N. My first kiss, first one to see me, the real me, and the first one to explore me in ways no one had ever before. You were my first love. You made me what I am today. You were the first person I ever fell in love with. A-and I think I'll always be a little in love with you no matter how much I try. There's a part of my soul that will always be yours. I knew this from the day we met, I will love you till the day I die, I will love you for an eternity and more and I wouldn't want it any other way. You are a part of me and always will be, whether you like it or not.", neither him nor Y/N realised what a teary mess they were by now.

"I think a part of me will always belong to you too, Draco. You were my everything, and even though we broke up, you will still remain a little something in my heart, no matter how much I try to suppress it or numb the feeling. And I guess this is our closure, the one we never got and never knew that we needed.", Y/N managed to choke out.

Draco just nodded and wrapped his arms around her, her head resting on his chest, right next to his thumping heart. He kissed her head and tightened his arms around her, trying to shush her sobbing self. "Y/N, as much as I enjoy this hug, you are ruining my shirt.", he joked, trying to lighten the mood, which only earned him a slap on the chest, which he sadly chuckled to. As much as he hated seeing her cry, he didn't tell her to stop. He knew she needed this, to let out the emotions and hence he patiently stood there, holding her.

After sometime, she calmed down and broke apart from his arms before looking at him and taking a deep breath. "We should go in there now", she nodded towards the gate.

He nodded and gave her a little smile which she returned with a genuine, sweet one. This in turn made Draco smile larger. Both of them then walked inside again, their hearts lighter and smiles bigger.

One thing both of them learnt is no matter how much you want it, some stories just don't end the way you want them to. That no matter how much you desire something, it doesn't always happen. Y/N wished upon the starts that Draco and her end up together. Draco wished he would've never fallen for another. But wishing is praying for something to not happen that you don't want to happen. The stars she wished upon had no choice but to kneel before destiny. And as much as Draco didn't want it to happen, his fears did come true and he ended up betraying Y/N. They may blame themselves all the want, but it wasn't their fault. They didn't want it to happen, but it did however. And that's the part of life. You just have to accept it and move forward because you don't always get your way. That's what makes living hard. What they had was beautiful, and what they never had was even more tempting, but even things as good as their love had to end because it just wasn't there in their stars.

Healing is a part of moving on. Some people like Draco do it faster than others, however, a part of them never moved on from each other, never healed, and honestly, they didn't want it to for they were a part of each others existence.

As for Astoria, she knew a portion of Draco's heart will always belong to Y/N.

tags: @you-bloody-shank @sabbynlee @niktwazny @slyth3rin-princess @thehalfbloodedwitch @johannelis2302nely @siriusblackstwin @just-another-godless-god @lazydreamer19

join taglist here

[frozen-heart]

Thoughts on episode 7

Here we go again :D

Choices were definitely made with Dr Sullivan's backstory. I'm dissapointed they didn't mention the original A and cast. It would've been the perfect opportunity. I'm not sure why but it feels out of character for Archie to go after Dr Sullivan for years? Why would he kill her son? Why wait until he was like 16? I don't buy it being because she couldn't do more for him and his mother. Didn't he like hate his mother or something? Was Clanton involved? Where is Clanton? Did they get the idea for A, because Archie followed Dr Sullivan to Rosewood back when the original A attacked her?

Also, why would Dr Sullivan assume that it was Archie who killed her son? Especially with the 'A' scenery that got created allegedly by Archie. Wouldn't she assume it was Mona or any other A from the original PLL? She didn't know yet that Archie would call himself 'A' in the future.

I'm also feeling conflicted about her suddenly feeling the need to 'prove' her story to Imogen. Showing her allegedly dead son's grave doesn't prove anything btw. I somehow sympathize with her wanting to help Imogen and seek redemption for her mistakes, but something about it also feels off. And her suddenly dissappearing is giving me flashbacks to the original PLL, when she got threatened by A to dissappear.

This teacher right here is getting on my suspect list. He has technical knowledge for the SpookySpaghetti site, he could help Bloody Rose with the texts that are being send by people that are already dead and he could've had access to the girls final tests that they failed, to keep them in Millwood for summer school.

I wonder if these Rose's are from Mrs Beasley and Kelly or from Bloody Rose. It's implied that they're from Mrs Beasley, but we never exactly saw them place the flowers there.

I was also wondering, if the killings and Bloody Rose could be connected to Karen. Like how last season it was connected to Angela. It would make sense to test the Liars, to kill Sandy and the Pastor in connection to Karen. Not necessarily Nick and Sabrina tho.

I was wondering about the killings in general. The first two killing are Sabrina and Nick, who were mentioned on SpookySpaghetti and are meant to represent Bloody Rose's children Angela and Archie. But I don't think there were any mention of other people that were killed, like Sandy, on SpookySpaghetti. Where's the connection between everyone that got killed? Now with the Pastor getting killed and Kelly being attacked by Bloody Rose the killings/attacks seem to be random?

Why would Bloody Rose attack Kelly? Was this supposed to be a test for Kelly? Or is it because Faran told Kelly about Bloody Rose? Is that why Dr Sullivan dissappeared? Because Imogen told her about Bloody Rose? How did Bloody Rose know where she is? Also, why are they only warning Kelly now? They could've tried to warn her about another killer at least after Faran's test!

I hope Kelly will survive. I have a strong gut feeling that she will. The way Bloody Rose attacked her doesn't fit her. No stabbing, no blood. And she left her behind it seems. She never leaves a body behind, as we know. And we all know that she takes good care that no one finds out about her victims, because of all the text messages she keeps sending Sandy's mom for example. I've seen some people say that it might be a doll, that's what I thought when I saw the trailer for episode 6-8, but from the actual episode it actually looked like Kelly. Anyway, she needs to survive and redeem herself with the girls.

Faran x Greg... Why are they doing this? Kelly and him broke up like yesterday in their timeline. At least Greg broke up with Kelly before going after Faran ig.. This situation reminds me of the Caleb/Spencer/Hanna situation

Watch her drop the biggest bomb next episode and then dissappear again. She'll at least give a major clue on Bloody Rose. Her showing up at Mouse's house was so random lol. And why did Lola look so out of it? Did Rose tell her something disturbing?

Soo.. Let's take a deep breath and adress the elephant in the room:

Noa x Jen - Just getting on my nerves. After last episode there's no redemption for these two. I wish we could've seen the confrontation between him and Jen. I remember back in season 1 he got aggressive with the boys from Rosewood, so I guess it wouldn't be completely out of character. Especially considering he got cheated on and lied to. But when Noa trashed his car and their entire confrontation lacked that aggression. I thought he would definitely get another outburst when Noa went out of her house, but he just didn't, which feels contracting. And seemingly he also let her get away with trashing his car. I don't know. They could've handled it better. Noa trashing his car also felt like an overkill. Jen never said that he threatened her. It was so obvious that he would find out about them, get angry and would want to confront them.

Shawn is honestly just spitting facts right here:

Not related to this episode, but:

Everytime Mrs Langsberry suddenly pops up on the screen I got reminded of the Pretty Little Liars Spoof series! Some characters kept popping up out of the blue there too and it was hilarious every time.

[uchihakeimei]

Yes, thank you, I hate it. I'm just gonna pretend I didn't read any of that, lmao.

So, what are your thoughts abt the Kaiser flashback? I mean, we obviously already knew something bad had gone down in his past, but this is a whole another level of evil from Kaneshiro's part. It's really interesting how every little thing that's part of his character now clicks in place. I like the direction the series is taking with him! Although I'm not really a big fan of the little-lost-puppy treatment he's now getting from the fandom. Abused people can still be shitty people, and no, he's not suddenly becoming a pure angel. If anything, the abuse he got explains his actions, but doesn't excuse them (did everybody forget the way he treats Ness and Isagi?). Just another day of wishing people could understand Kaiser a bit more than just on the surface level… Btw, I absolutely loved him rocking the shit out of his father and the cops. And the reference to the bruised ball that we got in that official art? The roses? Now everything makes sense, and I'm living for it!

Heyyy!! I am sorry for replying so late, I had exams on thursday and saturday, sorry sorry :<

Ahh, Ch 260.

Ngl, it hit me like truck-kun does (and I didn't even get isekai'd into a fantasy world with cute boys to make up for it :<<)

Yes, we all knew Kaiser didn't have the best past, the hints were all there after all, but I believe none of us were prepared for how graphic it would be.

A lot of things about his character that I found charming (and still do) are now also heartbreaking, though. The theatre metaphors (that come from abusive parents), the rose tattoo, the dramatics, the milk (god, I thought he was being dramatic and it was just a cute quirk, I was not prepared for the actual reason).

A thing that I noticed though, is that Kaiser is not the type to give up either.

A lot of people in the fandom seem to think that Kaiser intending to avoid fighting Noa for the throne of BM is a sign that he avoids conflict, but I disagree (and always have).

It's not that simple, imo. For BM, Noa is the tried and tested strategy. They know it works. BM wants a successor, not an usurper. Isagi has such an high offer from BM right now precisely because he's being evaluated as a Midfielder who can also play Striker in a pinch. It was mentioned outright that they want him to be the Ness to Noa's Kaiser.

If Kaiser chooses to take on Noa in an already established set up that's biased for Noa, well, the logical conclusion is that he will fail. Everything, from the team, to the coach, to the management, he will not have any support.

(Before, someone mentions it, it is, in fact, a different situation from Isagi's. Isagi is not playing on senior level. Isagi also has other blue lockers who will support him. He also has Noa on his side.)

So, Kaiser choosing to switch teams doesn't actually prove anything to me, except the fact that Kaiser is simply changing the mode and method of engagement. After all, even in another team, he will still have to contend with (and win against) Noa as an opponent.

But anyway, I digress. The point I was trying to make is that Kaiser does not give up either.

"I'll... start over again..."

The sheer grit and mental strength it takes to even consider starting over again after having your chance of escaping an abusive situation being taken away is enormous.

That Kaiser could even react like that, that he could keep himself, even a little bit, from losing hope... it's anything but a sign of him being mentally weak. He's damaged, and cracked, but he's still held together, even if it's with tape.

.

.

.

Please do not get not get me started on the 180 the fandom has done on Kaiser. Like, I knew it was gonna happen (See: Itachi, Madara, Obito) but it's annoying anyway.

His past explains his actions, it does not excuse them.

(Though personally, I was in the camp of, "He's a piece of work and I love him for it, not despite it". There are few things I would not let a fictional character get away with (especially if I like them), and Kaiser has not crossed those lines yet.)

What really grinds my gears about the fandom reaction is the thinking that, "oh he had a shitty childhood, so it's okay".

Ugh. No.

He's still damaged, he's still traumatized, and he's still harming Ness with this codependent toxic situationship they have got going on.

(I wonder though, what was it that ruined them?? Was it Kaiser emulating the only thing he has known? It can't be. Kaiser hasn't been treated well by anyone before Ness, from what we can tell so far. And he does treat Ness well in his own way. So... is that what he assumes kindness is? A servant who's treated well? Is that what he sees, when he imagines an alternate reality where his father is not what he became in this universe?

Others have also made the connection, when they noticed that Ness is the soccer ball. It is the highest regard Kaiser can hold for someone and the most kindness Kaiser can offer. He will cherish it in the only way he knows, and protect it with what power he has, the way he fought his father for the ball.)

.

I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I truly adored the last few scenes of the chapter; idgaf over however 'unrealistic' it is. Who the fuck cares?

The scenes conveyed what they were meant to convey, they made their point. Kaiser's rage and heartbreak were potent and well drawn. No one needed the translations to even understand exactly what Kaiser was feeling, simply seeing was enough.

I don't care what anyone else says, the backstory was well done, and I cannot wait for the next chapter to drop.

(And yes. I loved the fact that Kaiser beat up his dad and the cops too. They were all assholes and deserved it. Kaiser rocked their shit and I am living for it.)

Ps: Sorry, It's longer than I thought would be 😅

[irayoeywa]

the name game ✧

part eight, the finale

neteyam sully x fem!omatikaya!reader

warnings/notes - fluff, love confession, kissing, bold & italics mean flashback, characters are speaking na'vi unless stated otherwise, gif is mine, divider creds to shifterium.

na'vi words used (with translations) - atokirina - wood sprite tsahìk - spiritual leader uniltaron - dream hunt eltungawng - glow worm olo’eyktan - clan leader kali'weya - arachnoid ikran - mountain banshee marui - a woven canopy-like structure made for living in yerik - hexapede yawne - beloved tute asevin - pretty woman vitraya ramunong - tree of souls kuru - queue naer - alcoholic beverage swoasey - hand sized bowls used for the naer oel ngati kameie - i see you

< part seven

series masterlist main masterlist

y/n's days were usually peaceful.

or, that's what they used to be.

lately, they've been anything but that. not since what happened about a month ago…

your head snapped up when the words left neteyam's mouth. he looked nervous, his face carried a tight-lipped smile and his eyes were avoiding your own. and your silence wasn't making him feel any better. after what seemed like forever, you finally decided to speak. and coincidentally, neteyam decided to vocalize something at the same time.

"i can't accept this."

"i see you."

the two of you said in unison. after both pieces were spoken, the two of you stared at one another with wide eyes. you, shocked at his confession and neteyam, shocked at your rejection.

after the initial shock, neteyam was the first to speak.

"what? why not?" was the first thing he asked. he sounded upset and the look on his face didn't make you feel any less terrible for rejecting him.

"because this is serious. and i haven't done anything to deserve this." you said, putting the necklace back in his hands.

"y/n-"

you cut him off, "i didn't tell you my name for months, i avoided you every time i saw you, and i couldn't even understand when the great mother sent me a sign, two signs at that. so no, i can't accept this, because i don't deserve it."

once the words left your lips, a silence fell over the two of you. shaking your head, you started to get up from your seated position. a cool breeze washing over your calves and feet that were no longer immersed in the shallow water of the pond. you didn't even bother grabbing the half weaved anklet and you honestly didn't even care about it at the moment, you just wanted to leave. the last thing you wanted to do was deal with the aftermath of the now undoubtedly awkward situation you created.

neteyam watched you with a hurt expression. he really wasn't expecting this to be the reaction that he received. the worst case scenario was unfolding and he was having trouble wrapping his head around it.

but neteyam wasn't letting you walk away just yet. he was like his brother that way, never admitting defeat until it was absolutely necessary.

you had almost disappeared from his line of sight before he spoke up, making you stop in your tracks.

"i saw it." was all he said.

you turned around, looking at him in confusion. you wanted an explanation and he planned on giving you one, he just needed you to stop walking away first. neteyam stood up and began slowly walking towards you.

"i saw the atokirina that day, you thought i didn't see it but i did. i saw it." neteyam confessed, "i didn't understand what it meant at first so i went to talk to my grandmother to ask her about it. she helped me realize that you mean so much to me and maybe eywa was telling me that the two of us are meant to be something more for each other. i was originally going to wait until after i went through uniltaron to do this but once my mother told me you actually came to the marui to drop off my visor, that let me know that you are trying to be more open and that means a lot to me. so i knew now was the right time. i know you have your own reasons as to why you didn't tell me your name and you can explain when you're ready, but i don't care about that because nothing can get in the way of my feelings for you. i see you, y/n."

it was as if your brain went haywire. your mouth was parted slightly in surprise while your eyes began to water. there were so many things you had to process but didn't have enough time to. he saw the atokirina that day, so maybe it was a sign for the both of you. his speech also made you realize that he is willing to be patient with you even after you did everything in your power to push him away. even now, you tried to walk away from this situation. he wasn't giving up on you that easily. he wore his heart on his sleeve and now it was him that deserved an explanation, and you were finally ready to give it to him.

you let out a sigh, "i.. i never really liked attention. being the sibling that nobody really knew about. it was more peaceful that way. and so when you, the son of the olo'eytkan wanted to be my friend, i knew that would draw attention. attention that i didn't want. so i thought if you didn't know my name and if we didn't speak at home, i could still have a sense of normalcy while being your friend."

neteyam didn't say anything, he just stared at you as you continued to explain.

"but you mean so much to me and i realize that not only was i taking you for granted, i was also pushing you away. and i apologize for that." you sent him a small smile, hoping your explanation made sense.

for a moment, the sound of nature was the only thing that could be heard. neteyam began to walk closer towards you. his steps got smaller as you two were now nearly chest to chest. he then took your face into his hands, softly caressing your cheeks as he looked into your eyes.

the close proximity was intimate and you had no choice but to look into his eyes as well. and in that moment, you felt a sense of comfort and normalcy. like this is supposed to be your new normal.

neteyam smiled softly, "there's nothing to apologize for. i see you."

"and i see you." you breathed out, a smile stretching across your face once you said the words.

neteyam smiled before leaning in, bringing your lips together. you wasted no time in responding to the kiss. it was slow and passionate, but that's all it had to be.

once you pulled away neteyam took a step back, "are you going to accept my gift now?"

you laughed and nodded, "of course."

he smiled before motioning for you to turn around. you did so and lifted your braided hair so he could secure the necklace around your neck. while he was doing so you suddenly remembered something.

"you know, i went to the tsahìk to ask her about the atokirina too."

"really?" you couldn't see but neteyam had an amused expression on his face.

you nodded and he shook his head, "that's probably why she looked amused when i explained everything to her. because you had already told her."

"hey, i needed answers and she's wise."

"that she is."

it's been a month since that day and you and neteyam have been moving at a pace comfortable for the both of you. you've been getting closer while still keeping some things the same such as still hanging out in the forest and going on ikran rides together. the only difference is you're now romantically involved with one another.

but your presence within the clan definitely changed. thanks to your big mouth sister, the entire clan now knows that neteyam is officially courting you.

now, everywhere you go, people are either staring at you or trying to speak to you. it was like you were suddenly the main focus to everyone. most people didn't even know you existed so they were curious to see who the future olo'eyktan was supposedly planning to mate with.

dealing with all the attention was very stressful at first. you didn’t even want to leave your marui because of all the people that would stare at you. but of course, neteyam helped you get through it and eventually, you got somewhat used to it. it still did bother you though, but you tried your best not to think about it too much.

today is a very important day. today is the day that neteyam finally goes through his final rite of passage before he finally earns his place among the people forever.

uniltaron is a rite of passage that all omatikayan people are required to go through. even though it was a significant tradition in omatikayan culture, that didn’t stop it from being dangerous. 

the first step of uniltaron was for the tsahìk to place a eltungawng into the na'vis mouth. this glow worm gave the na’vi the ability to hallucinate. then the olo’eyktan would take a kali'weya and have it stab the na’vi twice in the shoulder. the venom from the kali'weya mixed with the compound from the glow worm gives the na'vi the opportunity to experience their vision from eywa. but, the venom from the arachnoid was powerful enough to completely stop someone's heart. there have been na’vi people that have died during the ritual. the occurrence was rare but, never impossible.

your uniltaron happened about two months before you met neteyam. it usually took hunters/warriors longer to go through the rite of passage because he had to complete other things before reaching this destination. since your place in the clan is being an artisan, all you had to do was tame an ikran beforehand. neteyam on the other hand had other tasks to handle first.

even though you made it through okay, that didn't mean you weren't scared and nervous at first. and you were feeling those exact same emotions for neteyam.

during the ritual, there are other clan members surrounding the na'vi that is going through uniltaron. these clan members are usually people that are close to them. meaning family, friends, and partners. since you and netetyam are now promised to each other, that meant you were going to be in attendance.

your palms were slightly clammy and your stomach was in knots as you walked through high camp. and because your nerves were at all time high, you barely noticed the couple of people that turned their heads at the sight of you.

once you got to your destination, you peaked your head in the marui that the sullys resided in. seeing that they were all there. tuk seated on the ground, messing around with her yerik toy. lo'ak and spider were in their own world, holding a conversation of their own. your eyes scanned the room before finally landing on the boy you came for.

neteyam was seated while his dad kneeled down in front of him, talking to him. his body language looked serious so you assumed that he was most likely giving him a lecture or a pep talk for what was to come. jake is the one that has to do the part that frightened you the most. beside him was neytiri and kiri, they were preparing the white body paint that would go on both his face and body.

you decided to finally make your presence known. you walked in and everyone’s head went up, seeing who just walked in. luckily, everyone greeted you with smiles.

neteyam had properly introduced you to all of them a week after he began courting you. the two of you knew that there would be a lot of questions and demands your families would have so the first week was just you and neteyam. enjoying your time together before everyone knew. when you told your family a week later, they all said they had a hunch. they noticed the necklace that resided around your neck and knew something was up because it wasn't crafted nearly as well as your usual accessories. they were just waiting on you to say something

kiri was the only sully that knew for the entire week since neteyam told her your answer the night he got home. she was happy for her brother, happy that he found someone. she was also delighted that she was able to help make the necklace for you.

when neteyam told the rest of the family, tuk smiled and said she was happy for him, which was expected. spider started laughing, turning his head to his lo'ak and telling him that he owed him a ride on his ikran. lo'ak started objecting, telling spider that he techincally didn't win the bet. neteyam shook his head, not even surprised they made a bet.

his parents, on the other hand, were surprised. they knew their son had some type of romantic feelings towards you but wasn't sure if he was bold enough to act on it. they were a little skeptical, not knowing if he was serious enough about this and if he was making the right decision. but after having a conjoined dinner with both of your families, it was clear to jake and neytiri and your parents that you and neteyam were very serious. mo'at had even said that she saw something special in the two of you. after that, they were more than happy to welcome you into the family.

and it wasn't long before your sister started running her mouth to everyone in high camp, telling them about you and neteyam. she was mainly the reason why and how the entire clan found out rather quickly.

while you began to hang out with kiri more, neteyam hung out with nanti a lot more. nanti and neteyam had a general sense of respect for one another so it didn't much for them to get along.

but being accepted by the sullys meant a lot to you so it warmed your heart that they were more than happy to have you around.

as you walked over to neteyam, you greeted jake properly. he was still the olo'eyktan and you wanted to be respectful. he greeted you back before giving neteyam a firm pat on the shoulder. he then stood to his feet and walked away. neteyam smiled as you sat down in the spot jake was once in.

"good morning, yawne." neteyam smiled.

you blushed at the pet name, "good morning teyam."

your eyes shifted to neytiri, who had just finished making the paint with kiri.

"i can do it, if that's okay." you say to neytiri, motioning towards the bowl. she looks at you before smiling and handing it to you.

she and kiri stand, walking away as well. you then dipped your fingers into the white paint before applying to neteyam's face in a series of patterns.

"are you nervous?" you asked him, briefly making eye contact with your boyfriend.

"not really. i mean i've been preparing for this my whole life." he answered honestly, "i can tell that you are though." he laughed.

"it's not funny." you frowned as you dipped your fingers back in the paint, now placing the patterns on his neck and collarbone area.

"i just don't want anything bad to happen."

"i know you're scared of the kali'weya but nothing is going to happen, i promise." neteyam spoke, bending his head a little to make eye contact with you since your eyes were focused on his neck.

"you can't promise something like that."

he leaned in and placed a kiss on your forehead, "well i just did, tute asevin."

you smiled softly before the sound of gagging took you out of your trance. you and neteyam turned your heads to see lo'ak and spider fake gagging as they watched and listened to your conversation.

“you can’t promise something like that.” spider said in an over-exaggerated feminine voice.

lo'ak then licked his lips, puckering up and then kissing the air dramatically which neteyam rolled his eyes at, "well i just did, tute asevin."

"you two are insufferable." you laughed.

"and you guys make me sick." lo'ak rebutted.

you and neteyam waved them off before continuing your conversation. once you finished applying the paint to neteyam's body, it was time to go.

uniltaron never took long. the ritual itself took maybe an hour if that. but right now, it felt like hours. you sat in a circle with the neteyam's family, as well as your sister while neteyam sat in the middle of the circle. since neteyam now considered nanti a close friend, she was also in attendance. your parents were happy that their two most antisocial children were actually venturing out and being more open.

the ritual had begun and it played out just how you remembered. neteyam had consumed the eltungawng and it was taking effect rather quickly. you watched intently as his father took the kali'weya out of the bowl it was residing in. your breath hitched as it stabbed neteyam twice in the shoulder.

you gasped as the boy groaned as he hissed and doubled over, placing his hands on the ground in front of him. the tsahìk began fanning smoke towards him as everyone in the circle began to sing a traditional na'vi song. you sung the song as you stared at neteyam with concern. he was still in the position from before. you tried not to panic because you remember the pain that it causes but you couldn't help it.

after a few moments, neteyam sat up, which you were relieved. the singing continued as he had his vision from eywa. once the ritual was over, you thanked the great mother for allowing him to get through the ceremony safely.

after the effects of the insects wore off eventually and he was back to normal, the entire clan gathered at vitraya ramunong. jake recited a saying before declaring neteyam as one of the people. he then placed both of his hands on neteyams' shoulders. mo'at did the same and everyone followed in pursuit, holding onto the shoulders of the person in front of them. you held onto the shoulders of kiri and nanti placed her hands on yours.

once that was completed, everyone returned to high camp for the celebration. so far everyone was having a great time. people were singing and dancing as the music from the blue flute played. there was also food and drinks. parties like this were always nice.

you didn't want to be glued to neteyam's side for the entire night, especially since a lot of people were going up and talking to him. he respected that you didn't really want to be that social so you both agreed to meet at the tree of souls again after the party was over.

"yo i got us something!" lo'ak exclaimed as he rushed over to where you, spider, tuseya, and ri'an were sitting.

"what?" tuseya asked, looking at him weirdly. once it was out that you and neteyam were serious, tuseya had to let go of her crush on lo'ak, reluctantly doing so but she loved you and neteyam together.

lo'ak grinned before handing swoaseys to all of you. you took the swoasey from his hands and looked in it, it had some type of liquid in it. you went ahead and smelled it. the strong smell of naer filled your nostrils.

"lo'ak who gave this to you?" you asked, grimacing at the smell of the beverage. you were old enough to drink naer but the rest of the teenagers around you definitely weren't.

"sanari snuck me some. all i had to do was tell her she has pretty eyes." lo'ak laughed as he drank the liquid from his small bowl. you have drank naer before but you weren't really fond of the taste so you didn't drink it often. and to your surprise, all the teens around you downed their cups with ease.

"is there something i'm missing or?" you asked as you looked at them in confusion.

tuseya laughed, "we've all drank before y/n, what do you think we do when we're out with our friends at night."

"well i don't like naer so one of you can have mine." you said, outstretching your hand with the swoasey in it. lo'ak went to grab it when a hand came out of nowhere and took it from you. you looked up to see kiri holding it, staring at lo'ak.

"unless you want to be drunk in front of mom and dad, i suggest you calm down with the drinks." she glared at him. lo'ak rolled his eyes and in response as kiri sat down beside you.

"hey." you greeted her.

she looked at you and smiled, "hey y/n, why are you hanging out with these losers and not my brother?"

"hey!" the teenagers all exclaimed. she ignored them as she awaited your answer.

"this night is all about him so i wanted him to enjoy it. also there's a lot of people coming up to him and you know how i am."

"well he looks like he's losing his mind without you." she laughed, lifting her hand and pointing in a certain direction.

you followed her finger to see neteyam talking to two men. they were both built and wore cummerbunds so you assumed that they were both hunters. you were surprised to see that neteyam was staring at you as he was conversing with them. a smile crept on your face and he smiled back before looking away.

"he's so fucking whipped bro!" lo'ak shook his head, speaking english.

after a while, the music being played on the blue flute had come to a stop and the party ended. many na'vi were intoxicated as they stumbled their way back to their marui's. others had their kids sleeping in their arms from being up so late and others said goodnight to their friends.

it was now time for you to meet neteyam at vitraya ramunong. you quickly went to your marui to grab something you had made a couple days ago. as you were making your way to the ikrans, you unexpectedly bumped into a figure, causing you to drop the item in your hand.

"oh i'm so sorry!" you rushed out, looking up noticing that you bumped into jake.

"it's all good y/n, let me get that for you." he bent down and picked up the item. once it was in his hand he stared it before looking at you, "did you make this for neteyam?"

you nodded, a little nervous of what his reaction would be. after a moment of silence, a smile etched onto his face. it was small but it was still there nonetheless.

"you're a good kid, y/n. and i know you make neteyam happy. you'll make a great tsahìk one day." he spoke before handing you what you dropped and walked away. you were frozen in your spot. a great tsahìk? did he really think that highly of you? well, you are promised to the future olo'eyktan but it didn't really hit you that you were technically supposed to be the next tsahìk of your beloved clan.

you managed to walk to your ikran despite the shock still evident in your face. you mounted your banshee and flew to the tree of souls. you landed in a spot that most ikrans resided when there were gatherings here.

neteyam was already there. he had his kuru connected to a few of the bioluminescent vines that hung from the beautiful tree. when he heard the screech of your ikran, he disconnected from the tree and watched as you got off your banshee and made your way over to him.

once you were close enough, neteyam rushed over to you and swiftly picked you up off your feet and spun you around.

"hello to you too." you giggled once he put you back on the ground.

"i missed you." he said, resting his forehead against yours.

"it was only a couple hours."

"i know but i wanted to spend the entire night with you. but i know you would've been uncomfortable with the amount of people that were coming up to me." he says, backing away from you so he could see your face better. he went to grab both of your hands and noticed you holding something.

"what's that?" neteyam asked.

you looked at the item he was talking about, "ok so as a gift for completing your final rite of passage, i made you your very first cummerbund." you handed it to him.

neteyam's eyes lit up as he took it from your hands. no surprise that it was neatly woven and the patterns were well put together. he looked up from the cummerbund and threw his arms around you.

"thank you so much yawne, this means a lot."

"you're welcome." you smiled as he began putting it on, "your dad told me that i would make a good tsahìk one day."

neteyam paused, looking up from the accessory and at you. he held a look of shock on his face. he didn't know that his father thought that highly of you.

"really? how does that make you feel?" was the first thing he asked. he wanted to put your feelings at the forefront of the conversation.

you noticed neteyam's fingers fumbling with making sure the cummerbund was on securely. you moved closer to him and made sure it was on correctly.

"i was honestly surprised, i hadn't really thought about it before." you answered honestly.

"if you do not wish to be tsahìk then you don't have to be."

"i know.. but is it something that you want for us?" you looked up at him.

"i'm fine with whatever you're comfortable with. so don't worry about what i want." neteyam reassured you. you gave him a warm smile before stepping back, looking at the cummerbund hug his stomach.

"it looks good on you." before you could take another breath, neteyam grabbed your hand and pulled you back towards him. your chests now pressed each other.

neteyam used a finger to bring your face closer to his. his lips ghosted over yours. your eyes fluttered shut, drinking in this moment of intimacy.

"all thanks to you." he muttered before placing his lips on your own. the kiss felt like any other kiss the two of you shared. gentle and affectionate. lips moving in sync as the environment around you glowed in different hues of blue, purple, and green.

you were the first to pull away, giggling when neteyam's lips chased your own. you looked at him, admiring his face as his bioluminescent dots glowed in the night.

"now that you've gone through your final rite of passage, we can finally.. you know.." you trailed off, hoping neteyam would get the hint. and judging from how his eyes widened, he definitely did.

"are you sure? you know we can wait."

you nod your head, "i want this. i want to be with you."

neteyam physically felt his heart swell at your words. he brought his hand up to your face and caressed your cheek, "oel ngati kameie."

"oel ngati kameie." you leaned into his touch.

the two of you then reached for your kuru's before bringing them over your shoulders. the hair at the end of the braid moving to the side as the pink tendrils made themselves visible. you looked at neteyam who was holding his kuru, looking like he was waiting for your approval. you gave him a confident nod and brought your kuru closer to his.

once they were close enough, the tendrils in your neural queues connected with one another. your mouth dropped as you felt a sense of euphoria washing over you. you felt like you had to catch your breath. once doing so, your eyes locked with neteyam who looked like he was feeling the same emotions as you. you leaned in and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

you and neteyam were now mated for a lifetime.

a lifetime you couldn't wait to live.

sorry this took so long. also, the confession wasn't as good as it could've been but i'm not that good at writing stuff like that so that's the best it's going to get.

thank you to everyone that read and enjoyed this. i have more things i'm working on but school started so please just bare with me.

taglist - @fanboyluvr @liluvtojineteyam @arminsgfloll @squidalapobre @jjkclub @angelsamor @baebinana @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @hana-yuri @riatesullironalite @camilo-uwu @audigay @jkeluv @marsbars09 @applepie-macaroon

[afrognamedfizzarolli]

Helluva Boss Season 2 trailer break down: Pt 4 Mastermind!

The C.H.E.R.U.B.'s and D.H.O.R.K's are back bitches!

These two shots seem to be fairly face value. The C.H.E.R.U.B.'s have been stuck on earth since we saw them last, and apparently have been spending their time trying to find I.M.P. and settle the score. They are captured by the D.H.O.R.K.S, the two realizing they have a common enemy team up.

Also notable is that the portal Blitzø is peaking his head out of is that of an Asmodian crystal. Meaning he did accept it from Stolas.

I think these four shots are a direct sequence of the crew porting back to the office after a successful hit, only for another portal that the D.H.O.R.K.S and C.H.E.R.U.B.'s have developed to be able to traverse to hell, presumably to capture the main crew.

(they are Stolas' grimore to portal in the first shot. Which is kinda weird to me if Blitzø has the crystal.)

I said previously in my post on Apology Tour that I think these two sequences are most likely in Mastermind. I believe what we are seeing is Blitzø being held, and either him having another nightmare sequence, or the D.H.O.R.K.S have somehow found a way to extract his memories, and are forcing him to re-watch some of the worst parts of his life.

Regardless as to why Blitzø is seeing these, its very interesting with a few. We were lead to believe in Oops that when the accident happened Blitzø didn't see Fizzarolli crawling towards him, the first frame suggests he did see him, but chose to still run to his moms tent to try to help her.

The next is the first time we've seen anything of Fizz during the 15 years between the accident and Ozzie's. This is almost directly directly post accident, we see Cash stopping Blitzø from going to see Fizz. Confirming the popular belief that Cash was the one to come between and lie to Blitzø and Fizz (father of the fucking year right here)

The next two frames are Blitzø's perspective of Fizzarolli and Veronika from Ozzie's.

We have another flashback, this one not seen through the screen though a screen like the others. Blitzø is crying while Tilla holds him, hes wearing the same outfit as we see him in the night of the accident. I have 3 theories on what this is.

The least likely in my opinion: This is a flashback to that night, before the accident, Blitzø confiding in her that he planned to confess to Fizz that night

This is when Tilla told him how sick she was and explaining that she probably didn't have much time left.

But my personal belief is that this is not really a flashback at all, this is a dreamlike scene where Blitzø is taken back to being a teen and sees her again. She comforts him and tells him that she is proud of how he has grown, and encourages him that he needs to work to escape and save his family from the situation they are in.

Another shots that are tricky to me, I have a strong feeling these two are connected, but not completely sure where they fit. This is honestly kinda a process of elimination guess for me.

I want to included these two clips from the Hells Belles short which reference the C.H.E.R.U.B.s episode, i assume as a hint to them coming back soon.

Again I am sorry for the shit photo quality, and possible bad grammar and spelling. I currently have the posts for the rest of the episodes nearly done so expect those in the next few hours ♡ I'd love to hear any other ideas or theories about the upcoming episodes, or anything I missed/got wrong!

Pt. 1: The Full Moon | Pt. 2 :Apology Tour | Pt. 3: Ghostfuckers | Pt. 4: Mastermind | Pt. 5: Sinsmas

[justanotherthrowaway1950]

(tw abuse)

Something I've been thinking about:

Sometimes I feel that there's not much we know about Azula. The only two episodes she's given depth beyond being a villain are Sozin's comet and the Beach. Even the time where she and Zuko were in the fire palace didn't show much.

I wonder if this contributes to multiple perspectives people have on Azula. Mainly anything along the lines of 'she shouldn't be redeemed, bc that was the point' and 'she wasn't abused'

The show implies many things about her. And there are many fabulous metas about her.

(I feel most of the ways Ozai abused Azula are implied. And this is another meta, but I find that a lot of people don't recognize that a character is abuse unless it's explicit and a point is made of it, especially if a character is shown to have some form of privilege.)

But what we are shown explicitly is a villainess who kept following her dad's orders until people turned on her because of it. Not much about why she is the way she is, beyond 'she was her dad's favorite' and does everything to please him.

Agreed. I've always felt that they should have removed or condensed some of the pre-DoBS episodes in S3 so they could have, among other things, given us an episode showing the events of ATLA leading up to Sozin's Comet from Azula's POV so her fall to madness wouldn't be so sudden, we could see how Ozai abused if her, if he ever did, and we would have had a definitive answer to the nurture versus nature debate that was only recently answered by her solo comic.

(If you want to see me go into details with my perceived issues with ATLA S3, please see this.)

But even accepting the "fact" that Season 3 had too much going to dedicate time to fleshing a character who was ultimately a secondary villain and foil to Zuko and Katara, it's really odd that they waited 15 years to finally fill in the gaps in the Azula's character and answer long-held questions by fandom, even if a non-insignificant portion of them view the answers as belated, fan-driven retcons. And even then, Azula's solo comic really doesn't really go into detail, either through flashbacks or dialogue, about Ozai's abuse of her, which leads to the problem you identified of people failing to recognize a privileged character as an abuse victim unless it is explicitly shown and directly pointed out by the text.

For example, in my opinion, based on my personal observation, a lot of fans view Azua's solo comic all but saying she is a product of nature who felt she had no choice but to become his monster after Ursa left the Palace as a retcon caused by the creators becoming aware that Azula had a substantial fanbase that saw her as a child failed by her country and father, instead of a irredeemable, psychopathic monster who deserved her fate.

Especially since the comic fails to show Azula becoming progressively more evil after Ursa left due to the pressure she felt from Ozai, making it seem like Azula was trying to justify being a bad person since she was young to avoid taking responsibility for her current lot in life.

Or in other words, a Draco in Leather Pants situation that managed to actually affect canon.

I know the comics' main goal was to depict the transition between Aang and Korra' eras, and then fill in the time period between Sozin's Comet and when Aang's movie is supposed to occur after Avatar Studios became a thing. But I wish the comics from the start focused on, among other things, fleshing out characters who weren't a main character in the show like Mai, Ty Lee, and Suki, among others.

In my opinion, it's a shame that we know so little about the characters and world in Aang's era despite the comics being a thing for most of time after the show stopped airing.

(Yes, I know the roleplaying game is filling out the lore. But most people haven't read it, so the above statement applies to most ATLA fans.)

[eyesontheskyline]

Hiya! I’ve been seeing this hc circulating around for a while and I wanted to hear your opinion about it. I don’t know if you’ve seen it before, but someone posted a long analysis about how when Emily mentioned killing someone in the Doyle arc, she wasn’t referring to Declan but to some person she might’ve actually killed, a civilian maybe (possibly while undercover). It’s difficult for me to imagine a situation other than Emily trying her absolute hardest to keep someone away and failing, which is what would cause an untimely death completely unrelated to her involvement. Idk just the idea of her killing is so against her character and so against everything she stands for in the show, I think it’s more she thought she had something to do with someone’s death - in an impossie situation - rather than actually having a hand in it.

Hi! So I'm not 100% sure if we're thinking about the same post, but if so I think I might've replied to it at some point. And disclaimer before I say anything: many interpretations are valid, and one of my favourite things about this arc is that it introduces so much complexity.

Personally, I think he's talking about Declan. Not because of any particular character thing about Emily - just because it makes narrative sense. The entire arc is this slow unveiling of what he is actually getting revenge for, and it's Declan. So from memory here's kind of how the 'reveal' of Declan goes. I am definitely going to miss things.

"You took the only thing that matters to me." - we have no idea what he's talking about here, just that whatever it is, he wants Emily to pay with her life.

"Happy birthday, my love." - again, we don't know who he's talking to, but he's in a Catholic church lighting a candle at a side altar so they're probably dead.

The whole reveal about the gimmel ring and the flashback to him giving it to her - we learn they were in a committed relationship and that he wanted to marry her. (This is another place the fandom differs but it's at least complicated for her, and he does seem to genuinely love her in his own fucked up way.)

Some members of the team are used narratively to try to plant the idea with the audience that maybe this ruthlessness actually does say something Bad about Emily. Whether you think this is clumsily done or a logical place for Morgan's mind to go is up for interpretation, but the things he says are there in the script to plant the question 'is she bad, actually?'

"This won't be the first time you've killed an innocent, but it will be the first time you have to watch". We're like 'omg what is he talking about', because we still don't know about Declan. [[From his POV, as far as he knows, she was the only person who knew about his son, and his son was killed by someone else to break him. She caused his son's death, but didn't have to watch. It just feels overwhelmingly more likely that this is what he's referring to here than anything else, because getting her to confess to this is the entire point of capturing her and torturing her.]]

That weird hammy scene between Rossi and Ashley where Ashley is like "WHY FAMILIES???" that leads to the team realising Doyle killing a child he could've chosen to spare could be the key to figuring out why he's taken Emily. Clyde wonders, if Doyle had a kid, why Emily would've kept that from him, and we don't know the answer.

Doyle tells Emily if she knew where to find him she knows "what this is about", and it's time for her last confession. She says "take me to where he died" - this is the first time we hear her acknowledge Declan at all and it's like 15ish mins from the end of Lauren.

The flashback of her with Declan. She clearly loves this kid and cares about protecting him. Uh oh did she actually get this child killed????

Doyle shows her the photo of Louise and Declan. They very much appear to be dead, she is the only person who knew Declan was his child, she admits to putting him in the profile and Doyle says the photos were what broke him and got him to talk. She's crying about it. It very much seems like this child is dead and she is responsible. (I honestly think as long time fans and people obsessed with this arc, we forget how late this reveal comes and how much the audience does not know what really happened yet at this point.)

"There's something you don't know about those photos" etc etc etc where we hear Emily fill in what Doyle (and the audience) didn't already know, and makes her behaviour fit with what we already knew about her - she put a lot on the line to protect this kid, even kept him a secret from Clyde, who has been established as Even Shadier Than Her, and all is well with our understanding of our ruthless fave.

Narratively, almost every single thing Doyle says to or about Emily is slowly revealing to the audience what he understands of what happened to his son, and then from 'there's something you don't know about those photos', it's Emily telling us what Doyle didn't know. It doesn't really make any sense (to me) for this one thing to be totally unrelated to that, especially for him to choose this particular moment to not to make it about Declan. Fahey isn't a stranger - Ian is about to have her choose the life of one innocent person she knows over another. As far as he knows at this point, she bonded with his kid and then had him killed as a means to her own end. Pointing a gun at two friends and an acquaintance and making her choose who to kill is the perfect moment to torture her with that fucked up choice he fully believes she already made.

I think with hindsight, looking back when we already know the whole story, it's easy enough to spin it another way. But in the context of this whole arc being a slow unveiling of Declan, it just doesn't make any sense to me for that to be an unrelated statement about some other shady thing she did, because all Doyle cares about is getting revenge for her getting Declan killed.

(That said, I think Emily is a pretty morally grey character, and I always think about what Reid says about the undercover cop in Retaliation - "good guy doing bad things". I'm sure Lauren did plenty of bad things because you need to if you're not going to blow your Bad Guy cover. I think Ian does that fond 'hello, Lauren' when she says to shoot Fahey not because he's familiar with her making the choice to kill someone, but because he's familiar with the ruthless logic she uses, and the way she protects the people closest to her first. It's very Emily, and apparently very Lauren too.)