#that was a really interesting thing to think about and talk about

[shouyuus]

mma!bakugo who just so happens to train at the gym that you part-time at on the weekends (front desk stuff, bookkeeping, etc) and has always been a bit scary from afar bc he's got this constant scowl as if he's got a bone to pick with just about anyone and anything who crosses his path, but his coach (also ur boss) assures you that he's a big softie once you get to know him. you tell him in no uncertain terms that you think you're good, thanks.

mma!bakugo who's always the first one in and the last one out on your shifts, who's got shit manners but always holds the door open for you and sometimes you swear you can catch him watching you as you go about cleaning some of the equipment but goes tomato red whenever you catch him in the act and immediately yeets off to work on drills for about half an hour before he'll glance at you again.

mma!bakugo who doesn't know how good he looks when he's wiping sweat from his chin or chugging water from his massive 2-liter water bottle, a trickle of cold water dripping down his chin to run down his neck, his adam's apple bobbing as he gulps down the water, smacking his lips as he wipes his mouth on the back of his bandaged hand; doesn't notice the way that every girl (and a lot of the guys tbh) are staring at him, but he'll glance towards where he saw you last, standing helping a new guy sign up for the gym membership, smiling and laughing, and he knows it's what you're supposed to do but it doesn't stop the way his gut twists or the way he goes way too hard at the punching bag, hard enough for his coach to hike an eyebrow and ask what's gotten into him today? it's not like him to "lose control" like this

mma!bakugo who never calls you by your name where other ppl can hear, always says like "hey sweetcheeks, can you hand me a water?" or "dollface, can you do me a favor?" and you'd always roll your eyes and remind him that "that's not my name, bakugou-kun," even as you're doing whatever thing he asked for anyway.

mma!bakugo who keeps quiet and watches when a guy tries to hit on you (unsuccessfully) bc he knows you can handle yourself, but the moment the guy reaches out to try and put hands on you, he's on his feet, stalking across the gym to shove his way between the pair of you like "oi. she ain't interested." and by now, everyone's gone quiet, their eyes trained on him and the guy and you; the guy sizes bakugou up, puffing out his chest for a second, but the next, he seems to notice the thick cords of muscles braiding down bakugou's arms, the expertly wrapped knuckles on both his hands, and he puts two and two together fast enough to know that this really isn't a fight he should be picking.

so he scoffs and makes as if he weren't ever really that interested anyway, turning around and muttering beneath his breath that you weren't even that pretty to begin with.

"thanks," you say, but bakugo just frowns and cocks his head.

"don't let anyone talk to you like that, got it?" and there's still that signature grit to his voice, the sharpness to his eyes, but something about it is different today -- it's ever so slightly softer than he usually is. he opens his mouth like he's about to say something more but pauses at the last second and turns around, shoulders a little hunched, and you could swear you can see the tips of his ears go red.

mma!bakugo who, after you get him an omamori from a shrine visit that says "certain victory", can only stare down at his, mouth open, a lil speechless, until he looks up to find you blushing just as hard as he is, purses his lips, clears his throat and glances off towards the side, tucking the charm into his training shorts like "thanks. now i've really got no excuse huh."

mma!bakugo who when he wins (as you knew he would), throws up his hand, the charm you gave him clutched in his palm, catches your eye in the crowd, smirks and jerks his head; when you squeeze your way up to the barrier, he boops your nose with a gloved hand before tugging it off with his teeth, letting it drop to the ground, bending down so his eyes are level with yours, his chest still heaving, his skin flushed from the recent fight, there's a cut on his lip and a bruise blossoming high on his right cheek but neither of you seem to care -- all he can see is you.

he tugs on a loose strand of hair, cocks his head, you smile and glance at the omamori clutched in his hand and say, "guess the lucky charm really worked."

mma!bakugo who hikes an eyebrow at your words before his eyes track down to your lips and he sighs, leaning against the soft barriers, not caring that there are just about seven different cameras trained on the pair of you right now, runs a finger down your jawline till he can tip your chin back --

"or..." his voice is just a little hoarse, his normally bright eyes dark, his pupils nearly completely blown out, a total eclipse of the usual ruby red of his gaze --

"maybe my lucky charm is just you."

[glypt0don]

So, this is quite a rant. You can skip to the bottom, if you want to know my opinion but don't want to read that much... But I worked hard on it and I think it's important, so it would make me very happy if you read through the whole text.

So this fits into something I wanted to post about anyway: a broader theme of why do we frame things as wars? Like, why is it culture war, specifically. First I liked the concept, I thought it described something quite complicated reasonably easily. But I pondered on it a bit more and I think there's more going on.

It's pretty trivial, that most societies went through a huge change over the last half century. It's not just feminism. I could make a whole list of things we as a people took on. Anti-racism and civil rights, religious acceptance, global trade, reinterpreting the meaning of peace, connecting the word through the world-wide web, etc. We ( or, as I am barely an adult and have no idea how to change things for the better, I should say you, or maybe chat) decided it was time for change, so change came. You brought it about.

And I agree. Change WAS and IS necessary. What that change should entail, well, we all have our ideas, right? And they have the ugly tendency to differ from each other. The question then is, how do we coincide our contradictory ideas on society? The answer is both worrying and very important.

To be fair, our race doesn't have a great track record on solving these kinds of issues. I dug into my historical knowledge, since, you know, those who don't learn from it, repeat it... The only thing I can compare to what's happening today would be the Reformation (which probably says a lot about my historical knowledge). That's the only time I know, where societal assumptions were altered so much in such a short time. That time it was specifically about the Catholic church (if you don't know, what I'm talking about, you really should, so Google it), and the result was a series of wars, that ultimately may have wiped out about a fifth of Europes population. The wars were of course led by powerful men, who capitalised on the divide to further their own goals.

As back then, now too, we can't rely on institutions to tame the public. Many media and political identities have a direct interest in polarising society. Because that's what happens. All these contentious issues about gender, class, or foreign policy become dividing lines between folks who are supposed to be parts of the same whole (call it community, state, nation or humanity, depending on how wide you can think). You know, how it works, probably saw it a few times, whatever your interests are. It's literally everywhere! We fight it out with the perceived enemy of the week sometimes, when there is an election, something notable happens, or it's simply Pride Month. Then everyone goes back to their respective corners, where they vehemently agree with themselves. We don't talk a lot, just throw words at each other, like Buggs Bunny, playing tennis with a dynamite.

I should say, this post is a notable and refreshing outlier. Thanks, @trans-androgyne , for starting a discussion for a change!

I know, it's a bit like nuclear armament. You can't just stop, because THEY won't, and then they win, and you can't allow that. It's life and death! And I don't have some magic pill to make it all go right, or believe me, I wouldn't sit here, typing this out at 3 in the morning Central European Time. But let me propose this: don't call it a war! Neither culture war, nor gender war, nor anything like that. Because this isn't a war. Just ask anyone in the middle east! They can tell you, what is war, and THIS IS NOT IT! And also, because it may not be guns and destruction yet, but nothing guarantees, that it stays that way. We already had multiple attempted takeovers of capital buildings since this cursed decade began, because our social reality became so fragmented, that you can't accept the results of a popular election anymore. That should raise alarm bells. I know it does, but it can be much worse! Learn from history, do not repeat it! Hit the Wiki page on the Huguenot war! On the siege of Magdeburg. Or, if that's not your cup of tea, watch Civil War! I genuinely think it's the best movie of the year.

Call it Social Discourse! That sounds much more manageable, doesn't it? Or you can come up with something else, as long as it isn't some warmongering bullshit. And maybe the next time you meet someone with sexist, homophobic, racist, or maybe radical left and anarchistic views (whatever you're opposing), don't attack them with your words! Those aren't weapons. Try to talk to them instead! Try talking about feelings! Listen to theirs, make them understand yours! I say feelings, because you both have those. Try finding a common ground, however small, and build up from there. Like Minecraft Skyblock. It can be hard in a challenging way, instead of making you want to shoot yourself in the head. Remember, you aren't fighting a war. You are having a discourse.

All of it is to say, the world and society are changing, wether you like it or not, and we have to change with it, to survive. That is the simple fact. If you call that change a war, that's just gonna make the whole thing unnecessarily painful for everyone involved.

This was sociopolitical advice from a giant armadillo.

Genuinely, what happened to “feminism is for everyone”?

That’s the feminism I grew up with: encouraging people to recognize that fighting sexism and restrictive gender roles helps folks of every gender. We’d push back on the idea that feminists hate men, pointing to inclusive feminist literature and how many men are feminists.

Now, there are so many people insisting that the solution to patriarchy is to openly hate and ostracize men no matter what. Why? What is the benefit? It’s certainly not effective in fighting oppressive structures to exclude half the population from your cause on the basis of immutable traits. It may feel cathartic to say horrible things about men and try to punish them for your frustrations with patriarchy. But the only actual effect I see is the increasing right-wing radicalization of young men, who are being told that the left hates them for the way they were born and presented with an abundance of proof that it’s true.

Why are we going back to treating men and women as different species? It doesn’t fix things to say “well women are the good gender and men are the bad one” this time. If you sincerely want to dismantle sexism, you’re going to have to unpack and let go of all sex and gender essentialism—even that which considers women inherently pure and men inherently immoral.

[mohntilyet]

about illario working with the venatori, we can't forget that elgar'nan gifted him blood magic, so I do think that he somewhat influenced him and that's why he's so much more vindictive and jealous in comparison to tevinter nights. I don't mean that he's being mind controlled, but it's a bit like cyrian, a god just amplifying those negative emotions in you and promising power and glory can push a person to that edge and to make stupid af decisions.

im also not forgetting that zara line in inner demons where she talks about an envy demon. like. why an envy demon in specific...there's THINGS between zara and illario that were not shown

no literally if you get me talking about illario + envy + the possibility of getting him possessed, you will have me here for fucking ever. a non mage doing blood magic (any magic at all) is really weird and interesting to me and i don’t remember an example of this happening before (feel free to correct me tho lol. i’m discounting possessions and dwarves)

i had started wildly theorising after bloodbath that he had been possessed and he was tapping into the fade using an envy demon. especially like you said, zara mentions it, AND because i swear there’s a codex in the ossuary where it mentions an envy demon whereas spite is obviously determination, right? so i thought it was a breadcrumb trail to a big “illario is being influenced and doesn’t even know” reveal— same as you anon like great minds am i right— but i’m not sure there is actually any evidence of that lol. like maybe if you squint but i do believe it was explained away by “oh yeah, and elgarnan let him do special blood magic”

it does also make sense to me that illario can only control lucanis, due to being part of the same family. a bloodline thing, and it is very poetic to me that their shared family connection in caterina is what allows him to control lucanis, even for a moment lol. spite being the extra magical boost that lucanis needs to block that out ALSO makes sense to me so i’m not too fussed abt these details lol🤔

the envyllario in my heart also gets spectral weapons for himself. lucanis gets wings, illario gets talons, PLUS green-purple are complementary colors so it would have been really fun to see them clash with their spirit/demon-powers. the talon thing is also a kind of reflection of his end-goal desire, how envy demons already have those freaky hands, and it manifests as claws and is a much more aggressive, strength-augmenting manifestation (as opposed to manoeuvrability and speed-augmenting that spite’s wings give lucanis.) anyways that's what the diagram above is supposed to be (this is extremely hot to me)

[kngrose]

do you not write for ambessa 👉🏻👈🏻? cuz your sevika headcanons are *chef’s kiss*

ambessa general headcanons 𝜗𝜚

WARNINGS: 18+, sexual content, implied voyeurism, body worship, oral, slapping, spanking, dacryphilia, implied age gap, slave/master if you squint, wlw!

prayers have been answered ^^

SFW

Come, come. Let's talk about it.

I don't think Ambessa strikes anyone as a lovely kind of person. Yes, she is incredibly charismatic, and might even be the love-bombing type, but Ambessa seems to clearly reserve "love" for those closest to her. Well, her version of it anyway.

She won't just walk around with her heart on her shoulder, she's a warrior for hell's sake. And we're all familiar with her opinions on becoming weak at the hands of love.

If you've managed to genuinely catch Ambessa's interest-- not just for her personal gain or a quick fuck-- then you've got a headache coming your way. Like, a migraine.

I want to really emphasize the love bombing because regardless of whether Ambessa is aware of it or not, the relationship will feel this way for a long time. There's a pattern. She's affectionate one day; showering you with praises and soft kisses, sunrise to sunset. You'll have to want for nothing. Gifts and trips, all treated to you by hers truly. Wining and dining, a good fuck. And though all of this is displayed in private, you'll be enamored. Which is exactly what she wants you to be.

And then, she'll be cold and standoffish. Uncaring of your presence or too busy to be bothered. When Ambessa handles business, there's no such thing as making time for you. You'll just have to pacify yourself until she's ready to be bothered with you again.

It'll take you a while to realize, but when you do you can't miss it; she's got an avoidant attachment. She wants to love you and to be loved, but the moment she receives it she's pulling away. She's looking for flaws in you, anything that'll convince herself that you're bad for her, to leave you where she found you.

Constantly creating exit strategies, thinking of petty little arguments to start for no reason, or an insecurity of yours to pick at. She was trained to fight, it's her strong suit in any sense. It's always easier for her to disconnect and dismiss her feelings than to just sit and talk it out. And you'll want nothing to do with her, which is also what she wants.

She just be losing the plot, I fear.

Unfortunately, cycles like this take time to break. Fortunately, she's not going to let you leave! So you have all the time in the world! <3

When you bring this to her knowledge, you'll really have to bring it. Sit her down and let her know she's not moving until she's heard every word that leaves your mouth, wagging a painted finger in her face. And she'll humor you because you've managed to make an impression with her.

She will sit, patiently and leisurely, man spread and all, watching you fuss her out throwing your hands every which way and yelling. And she will have the softest, fondest smile on her face. She'll know you love her at this moment.

She will let you say your piece without interruptions. In fact, she's so quiet that you have to question if she's even listening a few times. And when you catch sight of that little smile you just pause, dumbfounded. And she'll just humor your expression, urging you to continue with a curt wave of her hand.

After this occasion, Ambessa will be relentless. In her mind, anyone willing to fuss her out the way that you have must truly love her. So now, she knows no limits. In the past, Ambessa would have you stay put with some guards while she handled her day-to-day tasks. But now? You tag along with her everywhere.

In meetings, Ambessa has you perched on her lap. Touching you mindlessly as she discusses possible strategies and looks over speeches. Rubbing your thighs, your neck, your arms. You'll find it awkward at first--such a public display of affection-- but you'll have no choice but to get used to it.

She's hand-feeding you everything. Holding your cups to your lips, licking frosting off your mouth. It's a starch contrast to the dynamic your relationship used to have. But, you suppose you shouldn't be surprised at her shamelessness, she's always been a bit... eccentric.

And now, you don't even have to ask her to share her feelings, in fact, you have to tell her that some things are a little TMI because she wants to share everything with you. Everything. EVERYTHING.

Secrets don't exist, she's an open book. Whatever's on her mind, you're going to hear about it. Which in most cases, you can appreciate. She'll open up about her past and all of the things that have led her up to this point. She'll speak of her daughter, Mel, expressing a regret that she's never opened up to her about. And she'll talk about the effects you have on her personally.

These moments are heartwarming, cause it solidifies your bond.

Undoubtably, Ambessa is a very possessive woman. She's very adamant about expressing to everyone that you belong to her. Not necessarily in a verbal sense, but people will know. They'll know when they see the lingering touches she leaves, the elongated glances, the kisses. Again she's very shameless, so don't let these things take you by surprise.

She's also very protective. She does like to have you tag along with her everywhere, but every now and then she'll leave you with Rictus while she goes to handle more trying situations. You know, the ones where she may potentially commit a war crime or two.

She'd much rather you be locked away than have to protect you on the battlefield. Though she's positive you know of her capabilities, she wouldn't like to have you see her in that light regardless. She'll go to great, violent, bloody lengths to keep you safe.

Besides her shameless physical touch, Ambessa likes to show her love with flashy gifts and large bouquets of flowers. She likes to collect things from all the places she's been to gift to you; know that every time she's out, she thinks of what you might like to have.

She also likes to share knowledge. She finds that to be one of the biggest displays of love; sharing one's knowledge of the world and life. Things you can can learn from. She will really appreciate and admire the fact that you look up to her as a mentor, and especially loves it when you ask for her opinion or perspective. It shows that you rely on her.

And she likes to be relied on!

She has a tendency to just walk around naked, and not for any particular reason other than the fact that it’s, “Comfortable, sweet thing.” It doesn’t matter what time of the day it is, if she has leisure time to waste, she’ll be naked. And she likes to be watched; “I worked hard for this body, honey..” She’ll say, flexing her arms at you.

She takes great pride in her form and in her strength. She likes to lift you up randomly just to showcase it. She’ll always pick you up when she hugs you, gripping your thighs loosely or not at all. You could honestly just hang onto her, dropping all of your weight. It wouldn’t make a difference.

She never fails to fluster you at any given chance. Every time you’re having a conversation she’s holding the strongest eye contact, chuckling to herself when you avoid her gaze. She'll randomly grip your chin, or caress your face. Sometimes twirling the hair by your ears. She likes to see you get all flustered because of her. It genuinely makes her day. That's why she does it so much.

She's old! Lol, you'll have to keep her updated with the new slang and terms of endearment. If you're someone who incorporates a lot of slang into your vocabulary, you'll often receive sideways glances of confusion before she stares at you and mutters, "...What?"

NSFW

I’m going to say it again; she’s shameless.

She has no qualms. Like, at all.

She loves to put on a show. She loves to be ogled at, it strokes her— already large enough— ego. More often than not, she’ll shove you down onto the bed, and with a calculated slowness, she’ll begin to undress, maintaining eye contact with you throughout. Her eyes always smoldering with a mix of passion and a touch of dominance.

And she’ll study you closely for your reaction, loving the look of pure awe on your face as she stands nude before you. Her voice, a low and husky murmur, would echo through the room, "See something you like, my dear?" and she’ll hum in approval at the soft, “Yes, Ma’am” she receives in return.

Ambessa appreciates a well mannered slut.

Most times, Ambessa will request that you massage her, all over. She loves it; It fulfills her desire to be worshipped. She loves to watch you take your time and rub every part of her, smirking down at you as you get lower and lower.

Ambessa will lean back slightly, her expression transitioning into a devilish smirk. Her free hand slowly tracing a path along the contours of your body. She watches you like a hawk, a smirk ever present on her lips.

When you start to kiss down her body a contented sigh will escape her lips. She’ll run her fingers through your hair, gently but firmly guiding your movements. Her head will tilt back, her eyes half-lidded with satisfaction. Each touch, each kiss, draws out a low and guttural sound from her throat, her desire evident in the way her body responds to your ministrations.

And the hand in your hair will tighten as she shoves your face in between her legs, a knowing glint in her eyes, “You know what to do.” And her body tenses as you start to eat her pussy, the hand in your hair tightening almost painfully as she groans.

She requires eye contact; she wants you to watch her come undone on your mouth. It’s like a reward, no? Watching the effect you have on her. She wouldn’t want you to miss the way she leans her head back, her hips rutting against your tongue at a steady pace, glancing down at you as she murmurs, “Good girl.”

And she won’t miss the hand that you trail down to your pussy, toying with yourself impatiently. A leisurely chuckle will fall from her lips, “Patience, Darling.” She’ll always say, pulling your hair to angle your head just right so she can fuck your face better. “Patience.”

And soon her breathing will turn shallow, Ambessa's grip on your hair impossibly intensifying, her fingers tangling in your locks as she guides your movements. Her control momentarily slips as she succumbs to the pleasure you're giving her.

And when she cums? She’ll pull your head back playing idly with the mess on your face, “Tsk… now you’re all dirty,” She’ll mutter, before leaning down and licking it off your chin. She’ll meet your lips in a sloppy mess of a kiss, groaning softly at the taste. And when she pulls back she’ll admire the look on your face, taking a mental photo of it. “Pretty…”

I think Ambessa would have a thing for teasing you. She likes to put you in uncomfortable positions. Make you put yourself on display in risky places. Loves touching you under tables. It just warms her core to see you so flustered, really riles her up. Especially so if you start crying, she’ll just squeeze your cheeks in her hand and snicker at you, “Ohhhh, you poor thing,” She’ll chuckle, and peck your puckered lips.

I already mentioned that Ambessa loves it when you’re well-mannered, it’ll quite literally get you anything your heart desires. You ask her nicely to make up cum? She’ll do it in a heartbeat. “With my mouth, or with my hands?” She’ll raise a brow, “Or with something else?” You use your manners with Ambessa like a good girl and she’ll be at your beck and call.

Laying you on your stomach softly to pull your ass in the air and eating your pussy until you squirt all over her mouth, and she won’t let a drop go to waste. She’ll trail her thick tongue from your clit all the way to your ass and back, over and over and over, circling the hole playfully before spitting onto it, the spit trailing back down. It’s truly a beautiful sight, she thinks.

Do you want her to fuck you with her fingers? They’re thick. You’ll hardly need two of them to satiate that churning in your core. Perhaps you want a massage of your own? Want her to suck on your pretty feet? Maybe you want her to talk you through your orgasm and praise you softly in your ear while you cum on her fingers? Everything all at once? No request is too far for Ambessa. She likes to worship her pretty thing; and loves to appreciate your body. Especially when it’s well deserved.

But when you’re ill mannered? Ambessa will show you exactly how she became a warlord.

Don’t expect any pleasure from this outcome. It’ll be hard. It’ll be brutal. And you’ll wish you’d never mouthed off at her the way you did. “What did we learn?” She’ll growl, above you, slapping your ass with a powerful force, “Quickly.” She’ll order.

And she’ll hum as you blubber loudly about being respectful, but her abuse will not stop. She will continue to keep you over her knee, slapping at your ass and thighs relentlessly. And when she’s done with that? She’ll have you on your knees, facing up at her with your hands folded politely over your lap. And you’d better pay extra attention to your posture or she’ll punish you for that too.

You’re never prepared for the swat to your cheek. “What are we not doing in the future?” She won’t falter at the cry that leaves your mouth, her gaze stone-cold and unwavering. She’ll swat your cheek again, slap, “I said, quickly.” And again, she won’t be moved by your blubbering until she’s satisfied-- until she believes you’ve learned a lesson.

And she’ll always be sure to pacify you until you’ve calmed down, offering you water and comfort, but still being stern enough that you remember your place the next time around. She’ll be sure to build you up just as she’s broken you down, affirming you gently. And you’ll fall back into her, blubbering your apologies.

She’ll conceal a smirk.

She loves to see you cry.

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taglist: @opropheticsoul

[peppermintquartz]

I'm feeling bitchily critical today so. Let's get critical.

Reasons why Season 8 of 911 (so far) sucks:

Bobby and Athena are aimless

They have no house. The logical development is for them to look for one, one for their future. That is theirs. Where are the house hunting woes? The disageeements and compromises? Are they ever going to have a chance to find a place they both love? Or build one, even?

Athena's job description is all over the place

She's giving school talks. She's conducting traffic stops. She's escorting a prisoner across state lines. She is mentoring new officers. She's a goddamn Sergeant but what is her job scope? Every single thing requiring the presence of police, apparently!

Hen and Karen have little direction for growth

The Mara adoption issue could have brought out more of their relationship, developed them in terms of relying on each other through a difficult time. The storyline with Ortiz could have really delved into the struggles of the foster care system, and how Hen and Karen broke rules designed to protect the kids. (Seriously, if a child is removed from a foster family, it's logical not allowing the foster parents to meet the child that was removed for the safety of the child). Where was the appeal to Ortiz as a mother? Where was the struggle? Where is the tension between the Wilsons and the Hans? Instead there was a Deux Ex Gerrard. And I am not even gonna start on the whole "why didn't you take leave for Halloween" shit, that stuff should have been settled when Denny was a baby. What are their next steps? Same old same old?

Gerrard is a joke

An established bigot and racist returns. He could have been a great way to show how the 118 has grown beyond him and his bullying. Instead they're cowed by him, and lets him yell at Buck? Whatever happened to the "who cares" courage in Season 7? And he gets the reward of his dream job?

Eddie is still not healed

He emotionally cheated on his girlfriend with his dead wife's doppelganger. Has he even processed what that actually means? No! His son moved to Texas. Has he coped with the loneliness in his house? Who knows? Certainly not the audience, since we don't see him go to therapy or, hell, have a full breakdown! He confides in people who aren't his friends, let alone his so-called best friend! Bobby gave him a prayer book but we don't even hear Eddie rage at a God who keeps putting devastation and challenges in his way. What wa the point of the prayer book then? He just danced in his underwear and somehow that made him smile and now he's moving across the country and, what, giving up on his home and his job? Is that really healing, Edmundo Díaz? Or are you just running from the problem again?

Chimney has no internal or external motivation

He was providing for Mara for a few months. Was he stressed about it? Did he think about seeking a promotion for a higher salary? Also, he is an immigrant. Does that influence how he teaches Jee? Has he and Maddie, white suburban raised Maddie, ever discussed the potential problems Jee might face? Or whether they wanna include some Korean culture in Jee's education, since they gave her a Korean name? Does he ever think about any of these issues? Is he at all conflicted? What does Chimney want?

Maddie

She was the one who wanted to meet Tommy. Has she done so outside of the wedding? What was her opinion of him? Is Maddie content to stay in Dispatch in the exact same position? Has she any career ambition? And about Jee: does she never think about the Korean part of Jee? Connecting to her own culture? Learning Korean, maybe? That would have been interesting because perhaps she wants her daughter to connect to that part of her roots but Chimney doesn't, for his own reasons. Also, if she wants to have a second kid, why didn't she discuss it with Chimney outright before the pregnancy? Was she not taking the pill? Were they careless again? What would she do if Chimney didn't want a second child? Abort? Given how the first pregnancy was traumatic for the whole family, including her brother, this development is showing her to be pretty self-centered, frankly. I don't know this Maddie. She's not the same one that gave Buck her Jeep to escape, knowing that she'll be hurt by an abusive husband.

Brad

Why is airtime devoted to a character that is barely connected to the 118? What is the reason behind giving him so much focus? Is he supposed to quit acting and become a firefighter or something? What is the rationale for his existence?

.

.

And I haven't even touched on Buck or Tommy.

[seiwas]

hihi sel!! for your blurb game... hawks + nose + slow burn

thanks for sending this prompt bitti!! 💗

hawks + nose + slow burn

contains: non-canon au, commercial model!hawks, childhood best friends to lovers, pining, hawks gets drunk, reader dates a guy at some point, kinda cliche but i am a sucker for that

keigo's nose twitches when he lies.

it's a tell you've known well all your life.

when he was 5, he used to climb up a tree to practice how to "fly". it was really just him trying to parachute down using his bedsheets, but you watched every attempt―cheered him on whether it was a success or failure.

and when his mother's voice echoed down the park, you watched as he answered, "no," when she asked if he was trying to launch himself up to the sky.

you first noticed it then, the delayed reaction a few seconds after he had just covered up the truth: his nose twitched twice, a quick crinkling of his nose bridge. you didn't think much of it until it happened the second, third, and fourth time.

at first, you'd felt betrayed, being pulled by your ankles down into the swimming pool when he promised you he wouldn't. at 10 years old, you held these things like an oath―

"i promise! won't even go near you. see?" he swims away from the ledge you remain hesitant of approaching, hands raised up in surrender as he laughs.

―compelling; believable. trustworthy. water weighs down his otherwise bird's nest hair, taming it slack against his forehead. with his eyes forming into crescents when he smiles, he looks like the very image of a good kid down the block.

you get better at spotting it as you grow up together, and soon enough, you realize, it suits keigo to be a liar. he's charming above all, drips down sweet words like honey to anyone gullible enough to believe it. they're empty promises most of the time, but a lot of people fall for it, you notice. you included.

"i’m not interested anyway," he tells you at 18, right after graduation. one of the girls in your class was brave enough to confess to him and you’re curious how he feels about it, if anything.

being keigo's longest and arguably even best friend means that you know him better than anyone else. you were there when he was ugly, puberty catching up to him slowly. you’ve witnessed him just woken up, groggy from a full night of studying, because despite the nonchalance he often displays, he does care about his grades more than he lets on.

you know when he’s happy, when he talks about his dreams; the excitement he felt when he was scouted as a commercial model for a prestigious agency. you know his heart, beneath all his playfulness, how he keeps the people he values close to his chest and cares about them more than anything.

(you remember every single time keigo has lied on your behalf, nose twitch after nose twitch—that time you spilled grape juice all over your carpet and keigo told your mother that it was all his fault; when you forgot a book for one of your classes and keigo gave you his, taking the consequence of detention in your stead.)

you know keigo well because you love all the parts of him.

so when his nose twitches after he tells you he doesn't care much for relationships, your heart breaks just a little bit. you begin to wonder if keigo has a type, and if that girl fits right into it.

.

getting over keigo while still being his best friend is a herculean, if not impossible, task.

his career skyrockets and you go to university; your schedules are always in conflict but he still happens to be everywhere you look―ads on your instagram feed, wallpapers on your classmates' phones. there are shorts of his interviews constantly recommended on your youtube homepage and the feeling is both weird and comforting watching someone you know so well be so accessible yet difficult to meet.

you could reach out, sure, but you know he's busy enough as is. you don't think it's his priority to―

"come over soon," he texts you one thursday night.

your heart hammers against your chest, fingers numbing as you nearly drop your phone. it's embarrassing how quickly you type out, "when?"

but keigo is a fast texter, somehow always beating you to your replies first.

"this sat?" he double messages.

and you're about to reply "down" when he chats again, his words leaving an ache in your chest that you can't help but feel guilty for.

"haven't seen u in ages i think i'm starting to hallucinate hearing ur voice or smth."

.

spending more weekends together makes it harder for you to get over him, sitting on his couch as you both eat takeout; earlier today, you'd stumbled upon some stupid tiktok gossiping about all the dating scandals he's been embroiled in this past year.

you stuff chow mein down your throat, swallow it in big gulps as you glance at your best friend across you; he remains lax and unbothered as his legs cross in front of him, eyes on the the movie you're currently watching. it's a slow and painful process trying to get yourself to be just as uncaring about the entire thing, but with how often keigo lies, you find it hard to distinguish whether his "playboy" image is real or just for marketing.

curiosity gets the better of you when the question slips out, awkward and clearly fabricated.

"one of my friends is asking if i can introduce you."

you avoid eye contact in fear that he'll be able to tell you're making it up. no one from university knows you're keigo's best friend; he's kept you a secret just as much as you've kept him one.

"tell them sorry, too busy to date," he shoves a handful of popcorn straight into his mouth, chewing exaggeratedly to conceal the fact that his nose is twitching. his arm is slung over the back of the couch as you nestle yourself on the other end of it.

the topic is sensitive for the both of you; keigo always shoots down any opportunity to talk about his love life and you're always conscious of the fact that you might seem too eager to want to know what the real score is between him and the girl at the bar, at the photoshoot, at the gala, at the―

"am sure uni doesn't give you much time either, right?"

he changes the subject.

.

keigo is linked to a lot of people in the industry; it's a consequence of the job, as they say. rumors are neither confirmed nor denied and you're just as clueless as the public is despite the fact that you've known him your whole life and spend your weekends eating greasy takeout on his expensive couch.

you should move on, you tell yourself.

it doesn't mean anything that the throw blanket on his bed is the one you crocheted for him when he turned 21. the picture that sits on his entryway isn't anything more than a memento of youth with his best friend. sure, he makes time for you despite his busy schedule, but that's what all good friends do.

.

so, you start seeing someone. and when you tell keigo, things change.

it only makes sense that you hang out with him less, but he changes more than the circumstances do and you don't think that's fair at all.

he's started replying to you late, which has never happened before. and he's begun cancelling plans with you at the last minute, only for you to find leaked pictures of him at some bar with a bunch of people hanging by his arms.

keigo hangs around alcohol, but he rarely ever indulges, so having him call you shit-faced drunk right after he cancelled hanging out on the same weekend is definitely something new.

you’re in rare form driving his car to pick him up, hoisting him onto the passenger seat as he passes out to sleep. it’s only when you get to his apartment that he groggily wakes.

the elevator ride has him clinging to the side railings, his groans filling the tiny space. an empty plastic bag is ready in your hand in case he needs to hurl—which he doesn’t, thankfully—but he crashes on the couch as soon as he walks in the door.

you ready a glass of water and painkillers on the coffee table in front of him before grabbing the throw blanket from his bedroom. when you return, he's tucked into himself like a baby, knees curled up and arms crossed around torso in an embrace.

it both endears you and aches; you'd hug him if you could. if only your feelings could handle being closer to him than you should be.

instead, you settle for tucking him in, draping the crochet blanket over him as he snuggles into it.

admittedly, you're still kind of pissed; he did flake on your plans after all. but when he mumbles your name in his sleep, you find all of that anger flushed down the drain immediately.

.

the first time keigo meets the guy you've been seeing, you don't expect the hostility.

your best friend is your best friend for a reason—he's the warmest, friendliest person you know. even the media portrays him that way: charming and a little too flirty for his own good.

"quit it," you tell him when your kind-of-not-yet boyfriend goes to the restroom. you're pretty sure keigo's the reason he needed to go in the first place.

keigo sips his tea, doing a complete switch-up when he smiles at you and asks, "quit what?"

you roll your eyes, "i'm pretty sure he pissed himself because of you."

he snorts, shrugging his shoulders, "not my fault."

it is completely his fault.

from the moment your not-yet-boyfriend shook keigo's hand, your best friend has done nothing but stare him down―a piercing glare like that of hawk’s hunting its prey. you'd liken his grip to talons digging into skin if you could.

"you're such an asshole," you shake your head resignedly, chuckling. the horrible thing about this is that you kind of liked seeing keigo make him squirm.

"it's my job," he lifts his cup up to cheers.

(you find out later on that this is when your kind-of-not-yet boyfriend realized it would never work out.)

.

you're not crying when you tell keigo about the kind-of-break-up. you don't even think you feel that sad about it.

"sorry things had to end that way..." keigo says beside you, legs crossed under half of the crocheted blanket on his couch.

you give him a side-eye and notice his nose twitch. you'd know that fake sad tone anywhere.

"i was starting to warm up to him, you know..."

another nose twitch. you kick his shin under the blanket, the half on top of you rustling on top of your lap, "yeah right, nose-twitcher."

"ouch, that burned," he pretends to be hurt for the theatrics and you roll your eyes, chuckling in return.

everything about this moment is everything it should not be―it's too comfortable, too familiar, too easy. your relationship with keigo is everything you want but can't have and times like this remind you especially of that fact.

he's your best friend―

"why'd he break up with you anyway?"

―and is the reason why you can't seem to make it work with anyone else.

"i don't want to get in the way," your kind-of-ex started. you looked at him, confused.

"you have feelings for him," he further explained, "and it looks like he feels the same."

your kind-of-not-yet boyfriend said he'd caught that moment at the coffee shop as soon as he got out of the restroom―you and keigo laughing as you clinked cups.

you blink away the memory, shrugging, "don't know, just said it wasn't working out or something."

keigo hums, a beat of silence passing between the two of you before he speaks up again.

"well, it's his loss."

you turn to look at him and find sincerity; you're sure he means it, just not in the way you want him to, an awkward "thanks" mumbled under your breath.

.

things with keigo go back to the way things were, but not exactly.

his schedule miraculously clears up on the weekdays too, and he begins visiting your apartment to take you out for brunch whenever he finds the time.

he also stops going to bars and a whole year passes for him without any dating scandal, except for when he attended your graduation.

you try not to feel too happy about it, but when he's asked about the nature of your relationship, he says that you're important to him. the answer is still vague, but it's infinitely better than the way he used to evade all the previous ones.

"i'm rebranding," he tells you when you mention something about how you haven't seen any gossip tiktoks about him lately.

you push down the hope that fizzes in your chest, even when the biggest change of all is the fact that you think he's gotten clingy.

"wanna stay over again?" he asks you on a tuesday night as you're having dinner, on the table this time. you've already been here for the past two days.

you eye him suspiciously, "are you scared of your apartment or something?"

"no."

"so why?" you take a sip of water.

"no reason," he copies you, bringing his cup up higher to hide his nose; it twitches before you can catch a look.

"well, i have an early day at work tomorrow," you check your phone, "so you have to give me a better reason."

you stare at each other for a while, the silence suddenly turning a touch heavy, like suspense building up to an important scene.

he blinks. you blink.

you watch him intently, see every thought that crosses behind golden irises. he juts his lips out slightly, as if contemplating what he should say next, if he even should. it's unlike any expression you've seen on his face before, and you'd say he almost looks nervous if you only had a reference of how that emotion translates on him.

then he takes a small breath, closing his eyes half a second longer than a blink before opening them again, directing his gaze at you.

"it's better when you're around."

oh.

you don't exactly know how to respond to that; you know you shouldn't read into it too much, but then he continues―

"and i miss you when you're gone."

your breath is on hold, a measly "oh," drawn from you. time feels suspended at this dinner table, your brain finding words to say.

keigo doesn't let go of his gaze and his nose has not twitched.

you try to push it further.

"i'm," you start, already stuttering, "i'm sure you'll survive a day without your best friend."

the chuckle that escapes you gives him an option to downplay this entire thing—to turn it into a joke and make it clear once and for all that you stand no chance feeling the way you do.

except, he doesn't return your laugh. his gaze softens as he holds his stare, the corners of his lips curling into a small smile.

"and if you're more to me than just my best friend?"

you search for any sign that this is some cruel trick keigo's playing on you, that he's lying to get some kind of reaction again. but there's nothing—his nose completely still as he awaits your answer.

a/n: mostly unedited, this is so long help. at some point i started envisioning gojo ngl 😭 anyway this is my first time writing hawks! i'm not so sure if i got his character right because he's complicated but!! i enjoyed writing this (clearly with how long it is 😭😭). he knows that his nose twitch is his tell (reader told him at some point), that's why he tries to hide it sometimes! also he never truly dated anyone haha man is unfortunately very non-committal 🥹 i think getting to this point with reader is a big step! he had feelings for reader early on too but i think he's very careful with it (which is also why it took him this long to do something about it!)

hope you like this bitti! 💗

[i-lived-i-died-and-now-i-sleep]

I don't fully buy Emmrich on his humbleness sometimes. And it's absolutely not a bad thing. But when he meets Bellara and Rook and says that he can't believe that someone came all the way just to see him, it feels more like a polite modesty than honesty. Emmrich KNOWS that he is a fade expert of highest standards and surely has been consulted in person before. As a Professor and senior mage,of course he knows that people would come all the way just to see him and talk with him.

Same goes for the politeness he shows during a romance. Don't get me wrong. I think he really didn't think that Rook could be interested in him. But at the same time, I think Emmrich also not only hoped that they might be. He knows damn well that the way he talks,acts, his looks and his intelligence is appealing. So when Rook showed interest it catched him a bit off guard,yes, but he knows that he is a fine man and that he has chances. All the things he says: That he choses his words carefully. That he has anatomical knowledge. That one chat with I think Harding where he revealed that he once wanted to impress a fellow student. This is not how a shy man would talk and act. Emmrich knows very well what a gem he is but isn't full of himself or boasts about his persona. He is not shy or insecure or doesn't think highly of himself. He is positive that he is still able to make someone fall in love with him, despite the age. He just doesn't expect it or thinks he is the only man that can.

[lover-of-mine]

Hi, welcome to Buck just had his oh moment and the color theory of it all.

Usual shoutout to @stagefoureddiediaz because being mind meld with her is what's getting me here lol

First, I'm gonna break my own rule and give too much power to the showrunners, I know I keep saying not to, but hear me out. Buck, Bothered and Bewildered is on Buck's pov, right? That was made clear by the episode and then confirmed in interviews that that was the vision, and well, Tim also said that that scene was from Buck's pov, it's all about Buck's reaction and how he will go crazy about this because he's abandonment issues personified, that is also confirmed with the way we don't see what Eddie is doing until he tells Buck, we are learning things at the same time as Buck is.

Okay, well, why am I going back to 704? Well, Buck's fear of losing Eddie (I don't care what Buck says, he wanted Eddie's attention) made him go completely batshit crazy last time. But it also triggered something really important: Buck's bisexuality. And they just repeated that trigger, but this time with Buck choosing to walk in.

They repeated the bt first kiss structure but with Buck making the choices that create that change. The bt kiss, Buck is working on some bills, Tommy shows up, Buck is spiraling because of Eddie, Tommy kisses him, Buck has the bisexual realization. The 808 scene, Eddie is working on the houses, Buck shows up, he's spiraling about Tommy, Eddie reveals something, and Buck is snapped into the realization. Important thing to notice is that Buck still doesn't fully understand the depth of what his relationship with Tommy showed him about himself, so Buck still might not understand the impact of what his abandonment issues just told him while he was sitting on Eddie's couch. And it's all on Buck's pov.

But Anna, you said color theory.

I'm getting there. Because, well, the bt kiss is blue and red.

Same as 808. So we are evoking the same feeling, especially because of Buck's short sleeves and the buttons (and not a white shirt under this like he had all season lol)

And thinking about the blue and yellow coding Buck's bi arc, he worked his way to lighter blues. He starts with the navy blue colors until that lighter teal tone from the coming out scene.

It's also interesting that in the scenes that are about Eddie in a sense, when he's talking to Maddie and he got it right about it being about Eddie, and the coming out scene being about their friendship, are lighter colors along with Buck matching his background. We don't have the yellow elements but we have that cohesion on the frame composition. (I guess the 606 hoodie also counts since blue and green theory but I don't want to make another image now).

If you're new here, the theory is that Buck worked his way to his blue from darker colors, his blue being the color he is wearing during the coming out scene (and Eddie will find his yellow, but we are not talking about Eddie).

We are back in the darker blue but the composition of the scene is lighter. Buck is literally in front of the light as he is talking to Eddie in the kitchen, and it's the middle of the day.

He matches the background, the couch, the Texas frame, the lighting is also a lot colder than it usually is in Eddie's house. And it's also very important that he is on the couch, because yay couch theory.

But Anna how does any of this prove anything?

Well, Buck is working his way back to his blue while in the darker colors, because while he got the bisexuality part right, Tommy wasn't the right person, and he's finally back in the light, we don't have the dimmed light and the obstruction of his face created by the shadow, dare I saw Buck is finally starting to see things clearer.

But why am I so sure? The shirt he was wearing today?

Same color but in a darker shade than his blue.

Buck is back on the discovery feeling that comes with the darker blue but this time he's in the correct hue, he just needs to get to the right shade, and he just figured something out.

Abandonment issues personified just had his oh moment about Eddie at the thought of losing him permanently, sitting on Eddie's couch while wearing his blue.

Other things to notice, Buck knocked but walked in before Eddie could get to the door, he used his key and the knocking was just to let Eddie know he was there, Buck is the one who suggests moving to the couch and the couch ties it back to the couch theory and the 601 dinner, dare I say that even Buck offering to bake for Eddie and the cooking aspect of it all, and the idea that the couch is home and home is a person and for Buck that's Eddie.

Something else is the way that we finally see someone eating whatever it is Buck is stress baking. Madney don't eat at the loft and the chief interrupts them at the firehouse. Eddie on the other hand is DIGGING into those. And food in 911, in media in general, is about connection, and is very pointedly about love here, and the whole stress baking is great because the kitchen is Buck's safe space, he cooks for people he loves, we see that from when Maddie comes back, to the pointed way he gets take out for his parents in 610, to the lasagna, making chilly with Bobby, cooking for the house on 709 and getting Bobby's approval. And the fact that we are getting Eddie eating what Buck's nervous state is creating while allowing Buck to just go through his kitchen to make more because he is not about to not accept every part of Buck Buck offers him is important.

The fact that Eddie isn't objecting to Buck rummaging around his kitchen is also important in the way the show uses Eddie's house in a meta way, kinda like the way the show uses the loft to match Buck's spirits in a sense, how the kitchen is his heart and for family, how the living room ends up being for guests and it's made pointed about the couch his mother bought "for his guests", Eddie's kitchen and the whole way it's the space Eddie allows himself to be vulnerable but there's the thing of honesty, the core of who Eddie is is tied to the kitchen, and the fact that he's just letting Buck move around like it's his kitchen ads a lot. Buck is the only person who walked into the house through the back door, Buck has a key, Buck has been in every room (except the bathroom but I think they are saving that for buddie canon), that's home for him too and Eddie never thinks to question and Buck never thinks to doubt it ("this is Eddie's house, I'm not really a guest").

Anyway, Buck oh moment real. Buddie 8b real. Color theory got me so high I'm wondering this is what doing hard drugs feels like. I think this is all I have to say. I might come back, who knows? I don't.

If you read this I love you.

taglist (interact with this post if you wanna get tagged)

@sparkedblaze @caw-salem @dreamofsomepiphany @100ceruleaneyes @linus-lucy @chaosqueery @gina-spike @chimchiminie98 @elvensorceress @singitforthegirls @dangerpronebuddie @182daysof @steadfastsaturnsrings @sparklespiff @inell @miles--to--go @jesuisici33 @wolfdeans @lunarsolar1 @joshwritesfics @glasscities @kejfeblintz @stagefoureddiediaz @mosaicstardust @eddiedisasterdiaz @hermioneindisguise @queerprincesseddiediaz @lookforanewangle @becausebuckley @lemotmo @thenainitaldisaster @epiaphany @trudayss @shelfthe-reader @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @buckgettingstruck @scoupsahoy @the-whispers-of-death @iced-coffee-jesus @izzysbeans @starkytower @thegeekcompanion @sunflower-eddiediaz @bucks-daddy-issues

@dingdongfries @angelcamael

[sanguineterrain]

I think I saw you're on s1 of criminal minds soooo baby sweetheart Spencer 🥰 (u are in for a ride with his plotlines!) If ur writing requests maybe reader and Spencer going on a date? And maybe they're both kinda shy 🤭

short one! hope u like 🩷 gn!reader. first date w/ spencer. he's so baby sweetheart 💕

****

"Was this a bad choice?" Spencer whispers in your ear, barely audible.

You turn away from a Pissarro, eyebrows lifting in surprise. "The painting?"

"No, uh—" Spencer casts a sidelong glance at the painting. "I don't think I'd have the authority to criticize even if I did mean the painting. Besides, Pizzarro's work is beautiful."

You're beautiful, you want to say.

Somehow, you're still nervous around Spencer. Maybe it's normal considering this is your first date. You'd hoped to have gotten over it by now.

He's just so... unreal.

"I think if anyone had the authority, it'd be you. French artists must've popped up at some point during your research."

"More than you'd expect, actually. We had a case a while back where the killer used blood and turpentine to—" Spencer stops, shakes his head. "No. Sorry. That's not appropriate date talk."

You laugh. "I don't mind, Spencer. I know you work for the FBI. It's interesting to hear you talk."

He frowns, that adorable crease in the middle of his forehead resurfacing. You want to kiss it.

"No, I meant coming here," he says. "Was it a mistake? I did some research before I asked you out, and they said that it's important to get to know the person on the first date by talking. But we haven't been talking. But then I know you enjoy museums. And you like silence sometimes because being outside can be overwhelming. So that's why I chose here. Not because I don't want to talk to you. I do, I just—"

"I'm sorry to interrupt," you say. "But that's probably the most considerate decision anyone's ever made for me."

"Oh." Spencer tilts his head. "I mean, I don't know how else to go about it."

You know. That's why you like him so much. That's why you're so nervous.

"Do you want to talk?" you ask. "We can go to the cafe and talk."

Spencer sighs. "I don't know. There's a lot of rules to dating, according to the Internet. And Morgan."

"I like looking at paintings with you, even if we don't talk. I'd like doing pretty much anything with you, Spencer."

He ducks his head, scratches his neck. "Really?"

His shyness makes you shy. You bite the inside of your cheek. "Uh-huh."

"I'm overthinking this, aren't I? Hotch tells me that I think myself out of a good thing."

You shrug. "Well, you won't here. I overthink stuff too. It's okay."

Spencer nods and tucks a wayward strand of hair behind his ear. "So you're enjoying this?"

"Yeah. Are you?"

"I am."

And then, jerky and a little awkward, Spencer takes your hand. You hang there for a moment, fingers just barely linked. Then you adjust your grip so you're properly holding hands.

"If my hand gets sweaty, you can let go. I don't mind," Spencer says.

"My hands get sweaty too. I don't care."

He squeezss your hand. "Okay."

You return to the Pissarro. You'd may as well be looking at concrete, though. The only view you'd spend hours on is Spencer Reid.

[skzhocomments]

Interview with my Ex - Bang Chan Oneshot Fanfic

General Masterlist

Request me a story

---

Pairing: Bang Chan (Stray Kids) x OC/Reader (Story is written in 2nd person, OC is called Eun-ji)

Genre: light angst, strangers to lovers to exes (to lovers?)

Word Count: 8.8k

Warnings: swearing, non-explicit mentions of mature themes

Summary:

You have been invited to participate in a show titled ‘Interview with my Ex’ together with Bang Chan. Will you go and confront him for breaking up with you one year ago, or will you miss out on this opportunity?

This is just a story that doesn’t describe Bang Chan or other mentioned Stray Kids’ members true characters in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.

This story is also on Wattpad (click here) and AO3 (click here)

---

A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!

© all rights reserved by skzhocomments (Tumblr), skzho (Tumblr)/ storminsidemycore (Wattpad), storminsidemycore (AO3)

---

Interview with my Ex

---

What the heck is this?

Your eyes are stuck on the screen, unable to believe the E-mail you’ve just received.

---

“PROPOSAL to Mrs. Eun-ji Park

You have been invited to participate in our show titled ‘Interview with my Ex’ together with Bang Christopher Chan.

The show is scheduled to be filmed on XX.XX.XXXX. You will be able to talk openly to your ex about your relationship and your break-up through a series of questions we’ve prepared.

Please let us know if you are interested in this proposal and if you are available.

Thank you,

The ‘Truth Behind The Scenes’ Team”

---

Reading through the lines, your eyes widen in shock.

You look up the E-mail address the message came from and find that not only is it legit, but they have a YouTube channel with millions of subscribers, which would explain why your ex – Chan – would be invited to it and would want to participate.

Although you haven’t kept up with what he’s been doing, you know that he is preparing to release an album to launch his solo career, and he’d probably want to promote it as much as possible.

But still, isn’t it a bit cruel to invite you to something like this? Would he really promote this album at your expense, after knowing how much he’s hurt you?

It’s been more than a year since you’ve broken up, but still, your heart still hurts whenever you read his name. You don’t think you’d be able to face him without feeling pain creeping in from every crevice of your body.

You miss him terribly, and ever since he left, you weren’t able to fill the hole he left behind. Once in a while, you wonder if he’s ever tried reaching out and you almost unblock his number, but quickly change your mind because the possibility of talking to him again scares you.

You are scared of your heart swelling up with hope in your chest again, you are scared of confessing that he was the best thing that’s ever happened to you, and you are scared he most likely doesn’t feel the same.

Still, you are curious. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to participate in this show – to talk to him more or less openly about the whys and the hows, so you eventually decide to reply to the message, and you clear up your work schedule for that day.

~

As the day approaches, you get more and more anxious about having to see him. Initially, you decide to dress to the nines, to show him what he’s been missing out on, but the more dresses you try on, the more uncomfortable you feel.

Why should you try to be someone you’re not just to try and impress a man who’s left you?

You shouldn’t.

You don’t care to impress him anymore. You should just be you, and you should wear something you’re feeling good in, even if that’s just a plain black shirt and some matching black jeans and shoes.

You decide to do your make-up as you’d usually do for work – a soft glam paired with a glossy lip balm, and glancing once more in the mirror, you sigh to yourself and get out of your apartment, taking the bus until you reach the address you’ve received in the last message the Truth Behind the Scenes team sent you.

As you reach the filming studio, someone takes you inside a room with a table and two chairs, and Chan is already there with his back turned to you, speaking with someone you don’t recognise.

Your heart skips a beat at the sight of him, and you hesitate for a little while, but eventually decide to approach the table with a soft smile.

“Hey.” You say, and seeing you, Chan immediately stands up and smiles brightly.

“Hey! I wasn’t sure you’d show up.” He chuckles, taking you into a hug, and oh, how much you missed his embrace, even if it’s short.

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure either.” You reply honestly. “But here I am. So, how does this work?”

“Well, I thought we would have a conversation of some sort, but apparently there’s some questions on those cards each of us has to draw from those two boxes-” he points towards the table, “and the other has to reply.”

“I see.” You nod and sit down, and he follows soon after.

The team instructs you to draw the first card, and as you do, you begin reading:

“How did we meet?”

“Oh, alright. Well…”

---

Rubbing his tired eyes, Chan looked in the corner of his computer screen and cursed out loud when he noticed how late it already was.

3:52 AM.

“Shit.” He leaned back and closed his eyes tightly, and when he opened them again, they started stinging.

He rubbed them again while contemplating if he should go back to the dorms or just sleep on the sofa in the studio. Although uncomfortable, it would do until tomorrow at 10 when he’d have to be back to the building.

After some more minutes and deep breaths used to try and calm him down, he eventually decided against sleeping on the sofa and getting God knows how many neck cramps in the morning when he’d wake up.

He got up and shut down his computer and his laptop, of course after making sure a million times that he’s saved the progress made on the track in the past few hours of the night. He had a good feeling about this new song, even though it would probably not see the light of day in a few years.

Still, it’s better to work in advance and be prepared, especially in an industry as competitive as the one he works in.

Walking into the hallway, he eventually reached the elevators and called one of them. He glanced one more time left and right, and made his way inside, thinking of how peaceful the company is so late into the night. This was probably the only thing he enjoyed about staying up late cramped in his studio: the quietness, the emptiness, the fact that he can take the elevator all the way down uninterrupted-

“Oh.” A woman’s voice pulled him out of his trance, as he stood bewildered looking at the elevator’s doors that opened on the 6th floor. “Wasn’t expecting someone else to be up and about at this time.” The woman continued, and Chan smiled out of courtesy.

You got in and pressed the button to close the doors, and the elevator started moving again, until it suddenly came to a halt.

The lights followed, leaving you in complete darkness.

“What the fuck…” Chan mumbled, taking his phone out of his pocket.

What a great day to have 2%.

He turned the flashlight on, nonetheless.

“Is this a blackout?” You contemplated out loud. “Ouch.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Chan apologised, putting the flashlight down. He unintentionally blinded the poor woman. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Great.”

“Tell me about it… What do we do?”

“Is there anyone you could call to tell them we’re here? I forgot my phone on my desk. Shit.”

“Yeah, let me try and call my manager. He’ll probably kill me tomorrow morning for interrupting his precious sleep, but he’s our only hope.”

“Okay.”

Chan searched up his manager’s name and dialled his number, but before the call could connect, the phone shut down.

“No more battery.”

“No way. Are you fucking kidding me?” You asked, but despite the harsh words, there was no annoyance in your tone. Instead, Chan was able to hear slight amusement.

“I always charge it.” He mumbled once more under his breath.

“Do you think the power went out in the whole building, or is it just the elevator?”

“Hmm. Not sure. Probably the whole building.”

“So, we’re stuck.” You concluded, and Chris started hearing a slight shuffle. “Might as well be comfortable. I’m down here.”

“On the floor?”

“No, dummy. On the ceiling.” You laughed.

“Okay, okay. It’s 4 AM, be a bit more lenient on me for the stupid questions.” Chan laughed as well and sat down, hoping he wouldn’t accidentally sit on you.

“I’m Eun-ji, by the way.”

“Chris.”

“Nice to meet you, Chris.”

“What are you doing here so late?”

“Same as you, probably. Working.”

“Damn, what department are you in?” He asked, trying to keep the conversation going.

“Financing.” You shrugged, although you knew he wasn’t able to see you.

“I see. I’m from Stray Kids.”

“Yeah, I know.” You chuckled at the absurdity of the situation. Of course you knew, since you were up so late because of this guy and his team’s never-ending resources for their million albums, merch and tours.

“Really? How so?” He asked, as if taken aback.

“Uhm, I mean… you’re one of the stars of the company I work for. It would be kind of weird to not know, don’t you think?” You asked plainly.

“I guess so, yeah…”

“So, do you think we’d be here for long?”

“God, I hope not. I’m so tired I could sleep right here.”

“Do it, then.” You shrugged again. “Do you want to put your head in my lap to be more comfortable?”

“What?”

“I asked, do you want to put your head-”

“No, I heard what you asked.” Chris chuckled. “I was just taken aback.”

“Well, you don’t have to. It was just a solution to the problem.”

“Then, you should be the one to do it and get some sleep, I bet you’re as tired as me.” He countered.

“No, I’m fine. Sure, I’m tired, but I have a day off tomorrow, so I can sleep in once I get home.”

“Oh… do you live far away?”

“Just a couple blocks over.”

“I see.”

“You?”

“Same…”

You hummed and nodded, and the two of you stayed silent for a few moments, until Chris started speaking again.

“So… do you like your job?”

“What?” You chuckled. “That was so random.”

“I’m trying to make conversation!” He retorted.

“I can’t say I dislike it, but I also can’t say I like it. It’s just a means to a way, I guess.”

“Mhm.”

“What about you, Chris? Do you like your job?”

“Yeah, a whole lot.” He smiled, and although you couldn’t see it, you heard it from the tone of his voice.

“Isn’t it stressful, though?”

“It is, but it’s also very rewarding. I wouldn’t pick anything else for the world.” He continued with the same excitement.

“That’s incredible. I wish my job and I had the same relationship honestly.”

“Hey, does your offer still stand?”

“Sorry?” You asked confused, and then realised what he was referring to. “Oh, yeah, of course. Come here.”

You found his shoulder in the dark and raised your hand until you found his nape, guiding his head towards your lap.

“There you go, are you comfortable?”

“Yeah, I am. Sorry about this, I’m just very tired and feel like I might pass out.”

“Don’t worry.”

You placed your other hand on his head and figured out he had a cap on, which you haven’t noticed earlier when you could see him.

“Mind if I take this off?”

“Why?” He asked immediately.

“Just figured I’d massage your scalp to help you sleep better?”

“Oh, no. I haven’t washed my hair.”

“So what?” You chuckled. “You’re such a kid.”

“I’m not a kid! Okay, fine, whatever. Take it off.”

“Good. Now, don’t get worked up and focus on sleeping.” You chuckled again and took off his cap, starting to scratch his head softly, and not even a few minutes later, you heard his steady breathing, signalling that he must’ve fallen asleep.

You wondered how long this power outage was going to last, and time seemed to pass by extremely slowly, and you eventually ended up dozing off as well. The next thing you remember is waking up blinded by the strong white lights inside the elevator, with Chris still sleeping peacefully in your lap.

“Hey.” You nudged him awake, and as he sat up, he looked more confused than ever.

“What’s up? Is the power back on?”

“Apparently.” You smiled softly, yawning.

“Thank you for being my pillow.” He said and stood up, putting his cap back on, then gave you a hand to help you up as well.

“No issues.” You chuckled and accepted his help.

“Need me to drop you off?”

“No, don’t worry about me. I live really close by. Besides, I still need to go back upstairs and grab my phone, so you get going and get some more rest.”

“Alright. Good night, Eun-ji.”

“Night!” You waved as he exited the elevator, unable to believe the interaction you just had, but still way too tired to think too much about it.

---

“That was one of the best sleeps I’ve ever had, believe it or not.”Chris says with a laugh as he recalls the memory.

“Yeah, you mentioned about it a whole lot and always made me scratch your head before sleep whenever you’d come over.” You laughed as well with a shake of your head and watched as he grabbed another card from the deck.

“When was our first kiss?” He asks, and you tilt your head to the side.

“You mean, the date and time?”

“I think it’s more like… if you remember how it happened?” He replies, quite confused as well.

“Ah, I see. Of course I remember.”

“During our first date?”

“No.” You chuckled again. “I told you before that you don’t remember that one time!”

“Ohhhh!” He exclaims. “Yeah, sorry, I think I was drunk out of my mind when that kiss happened.”

“You make it sound like I took advantage of a poor drunk man.” You joke, and Chris laughs as well.

“No, no, nothing like that. But come on, tell the story.”

“Fine.” You playfully roll your eyes.

---

“I can’t believe we’ve been invited to this party!” Your co-worker exclaimed happily as she applied and reapplied her lipstick, making you laugh at her antics.

“Why? It’s literally just a Christmas dinner, babe.”

“No, Eun-ji. It’s not just a dinner, everyone will be there. Everyone.”

“No clue what this means, but whatever.” You chuckled again.

“It means, even the idols! I told you I met Yeji last week and she was such a sweetheart! I wonder if she remembers me!”

“I doubt it, with how much foundation you’ve put on, babe.”

“What, am I not beautiful?” She pouted.

“You are extremely beautiful, but you look very different compared to your day-to-day look. Wait, your lipstick smudged a bit. Here, let me wipe it off.” You grabbed a napkin and carefully worked around your coworker’s lips, making sure the lipstick looked cleanly applied.

“Thank you so much! You’re dressed so plainly, though. You should always dress to impress, Eun-ji! Let’s get you in a dress!” She exclaimed, but you were quick to shake your head.

“No, thank you. I’d much rather feel comfortable. Besides, it’s just a dumb dinner. It’s not like I’ll meet the love of my life or anything like that. I don’t care to impress anyone either.”

“You’re literally impossible. Fine, wear your lame-ass black shirt and jeans, then!” She stuck her tongue out, and you replied in the same manner, before you two ended up making your way towards the elevators.

A few floors up, the elevator stopped, and the doors opened, revealing two men.

One of them, you knew.

“Oh, hello! Eun-ji, right?” Chris spoke, and you smiled slightly.

“Hi.”

“Are you girls going to the last floor too?” He asked, noticing the striking discrepancy between how you and your co-worker were dressed.

“Yeah, we are.” You replied, trying to ignore how hard your co-worker was gripping your arm. You were sure she was freaking out and in dire need of help, since she couldn’t seem to keep her cool in front of these two.

“This is Felix, by the way.” Chris introduced him.

“Hello!” The other man replied in a low tone with a nod and a sweet smile, and you acknowledged him with a short nod.

Of course, you also knew who Felix was, but it was never a big deal to you that they were famous or whatever. They were still people, just like you and your co-worker, who didn’t seem to think the same way, however.

The elevator ride was short, and you got to the last floor in no time, waving goodbye to Felix and Chris and heading towards your assigned table.

“You didn’t tell me you knew freaking Bang Chan!” Your co-worker scream-whispered in your ear, still gripping your arm.

“Because I don’t.” You retorted with a shrug.

“Yeah, you do! He even knew your name! How did that happen?”

“We just happened to meet in an elevator and got stuck for about two hours or so.” You shrugged again.

“What? When?”

“A few months ago, maybe?”

“How could you not tell me? I thought we were friends!”

“Because there was nothing to say!” You replied slightly annoyed, and she rolled her eyes, just as you reached the table.

~

The air was so stuffy in the large room, you could barely breathe. There were too many people – most likely almost everyone in the company, be it idols or mere workers.

It was so hard to hear your thoughts over the loud music, that you decided to simply make a run for it and disappear. It was getting late anyway, and you were tired, and quite honestly sick of the noise.

As you got back to the elevator and reached over to press the button and call it to your floor, your hand collided with someone else’s.

“It appears we meet again.” Chris chuckled.

“Yeah, what’s with us and this damn elevator? I don’t get it.” You laughed as well as you both stepped inside, and you pressed on the ground floor.

Chris also reached out to the buttons and pressed on another floor, but you didn’t pay it any mind.

The doors opened and he got out with a little smile and a “Goodbye!”, but then, just before the doors closed again, he placed his hand in-between them, making them reopen.

“Yes?” You asked in surprise.

“Do you, uhm… do you wanna come see my studio?”

“Why?”

“Might be cool to see.” He shrugged. “I have a bomb song idea and, you know, the creative process and all is quite interesting.”

“The creative process.” You chuckled. “Alright. Why not? As long as it’s quiet.”

“It is, it’s the best room in the building, trust me.” He smiled excitedly and turned around, so you followed him out of the elevator and into the studio.

“It’s so cramped!” You exclaimed the moment you saw it.

“Yeah, but it’s cosy, and it’s mine.” He smiled and offered you a seat on his sofa, which you were quick to accept.

Chris initially sat down at the desk, but after a little while of him pressing buttons and you admiring every corner of the room in silence, he decided to stand back up and come sit on the sofa next to you.

“No more working?”

“No more working.” He shook his head. “I can’t focus.”

“Oh, is it because I’m here?” You replied, slightly embarrassed. Maybe you shouldn’t have come.

“No, of course not! It’s because I’m drunk as fuck and nothing on my screen makes any sense.” He replied quickly with a warm laugh.

“Oh. It’d be best to head home and sleep, then.”

“Eun-ji, I’ll be blunt. Your lips look so incredible right now…”

“Wh- what? My lips?” You immediately put your fingers on top of them. ��Must be this new lipbalm I’m using. It’s called-”

“No, it’s not that.” Chris chuckled. “I just wanna…” He grabbed your hand softly and dragged it away, his body coming closer to you, until your lips collided.

For a few seconds, you were taken aback by what was happening, but as the kiss deepened, your hands found the back of his head and you brought him closer.

His tongue was hot on yours, and in no time, you found yourself sitting in his lap, still making out like you were thirsty and his mouth had the only water left on Earth.

One of his hands travelled under your shirt on your naked back, and the other went down to your bum, squeezing it softly, and you let out a moan muffled by his mouth on yours.

---

“Yeah, thinking about it, it was you who initiated that kiss, so you can’t blame me for your drunken mistakes.” You chuckle.

“That was anything but a mistake, Eun-ji.” He replies with a smile that you couldn’t quite read, however, there is a slight longing in his eyes, which makes your heart skip a beat. “And it was quite funny, really. I literally couldn’t remember that we made out, but the next thing I know, I’m looking at my phone and see that we have a date planned in the next few days.”

You chuckle again at the memory, remembering how confused he was when you messaged him to confirm the details about the date.

“Alright, it’s my turn.” You say, deciding to stop pondering on your first moments as a couple and ignore his expression, as you aren’t sure you’d be able to keep a straight face for much longer if he keeps looking at you that way.

He looks at you as if he’s still in love, which makes no sense to you whatsoever. It’s been a year, and even though you are probably still very much in love with him, he is, after all, the one that got away.

You draw a card and read out loud.

“What’s your most treasured memory with us?”

“Oh, tough one.” He replies quickly, his brows furrowing.

“Why? You can’t think of any of them?” You ask, slightly dejected.

“No, it’s not that, Eun-ji. It’s just that… I treasure all of our memories.”

“All of them?” You counter back.

“Yes.”

“Even the fights?”

“Even those.”

As he replies, you don’t know what to say any further. You want to ask some more about it, but before you get the chance to formulate a proper question in your head, he begins talking again.

“If I were to pick only one, however… I think I’d go with that one time you surprised me by coming to our concert in Europe.”

---

“Thank you! You were great tonight, and we can’t wait to come again!” Chris shouted in his microphone before heading off-stage, completely sweaty but still high on the adrenaline from being on stage in front of such a large crowd.

No matter how many times he’s done it, he could never get used to it.

“Good job, boys.” He complimented his team members with a large smile plastered on his face. “Are you ready to party for the rest of the night?”

“Oh, Chris. The manager just informed me that you have to go back to the hotel. There’s apparently something wrong with your room.” Felix frowned slightly as he approached Chris, but was unable to contain his excitement for long, so he made sure to turn around just in time for him not to notice the large smile on his face.

“An issue with my room…?” Chris contemplated with a shake of his head but decided to take the driver anyway and go back to the hotel.

After all, he could always meet up with the boys and the staff later and party, after he fixed whatever was wrong with the room and saw what the emergency was about.

He inquired about the issue at the reception, but they only informed him to head upstairs, and so, he followed suit and went to his room.

As he opened it, however, he noticed that there wasn’t anything wrong. In fact, it was the exact opposite.

There you were, in his room, sitting leisurely on the bed and smiling gleefully at him.

“You’re finally back!” You exclaimed getting off the bed, and Chris just stood silent in the doorway, as if unable to believe his eyes.

“Eun-ji?!” He asked, confusion plastered across his face. “But… how? You told me you couldn’t get off work!”

“Yeah, well, surprise! My co-worker finally agreed to switch shifts with me, so I’ll be here until you leave to the next city!”

“That’s, oh my God, I’m freaking out!” He exclaimed, immediately running towards you and hugging you tightly against his chest, peppering your face with kisses.

“Eww, you’re so sweaty!” You joked and pushed him away.

“Let’s take a shower together! How does that sound?”

“Don’t be lame, Chris. I already filled the tub, let’s have a bubble bath instead!”

“Damn, you’re the freaking best.”

“Damn right.”

You two made your way towards the bathroom, slowly undressing each other in-between kisses, and when you were completely naked, you went into the tub and washed Chan’s back, kissing his neck slowly and hugging him from behind.

“By the way, Chris, you were amazing on stage.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve also seen the concert!” He exclaimed surprised.

“Of course I did! Well, some of it, anyway. But you know what? I’m quite pissed at you. I should be the only one who gets to see these.” As you replied, you moved your hand lower until it reached his abs.

“You’re the only one who gets to touch them, baby.”

“That’s not even true. Your make-up staff touches them all the time.” You pouted, and Chris started laughing at your antics.

Although he couldn’t see you, as you were still hugging him from behind, he knew you well enough to know the face you were making.

“I missed you.” You whispered.

“Me too, baby.” He replied and turned around, making sure to splash a ton of water on the floor in the process, and kissed you again. “Wanna get out so I can show you how much I’ve missed you?”

“Hell yeah.”

---

“That’s a good memory, yeah.” You chuckle, your cheeks growing slightly red remembering the steaming night you two shared, and the morning sex afterwards.

You couldn’t deny that Chris was the best you’ve ever had in every way, and your body already got hot at the thought of him touching you like that.

“So, I guess that makes it my turn.” Chris says with a clear of his throat, and you wonder if he is thinking about the same things as you.

“Go ahead.” You smile and point him towards the cards on his deck.

“Have you slept with anyone else since we’ve broken up?” Chris reads out loud, but before taking his eyes away from the card, he continues by saying: “Wait, you don’t have to respond to this. Can we skip this question?”

He looks at the staff members and places the card down, but you don’t have anything to hide. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway if you slept or didn’t sleep with anyone else. It’s not like it’s any of his business to care and get affected by your reply.

“I didn’t.” You say quietly and reach towards a new card but decide to ask as well. “Have you?”

“Eun-ji…” He frowns.

“Sorry for asking.” You shrug and then turn your card up. “The next questions reads-”

“I haven’t.” He cuts you off and averts his gaze, moment when you look at him confused.

“What?”

“I haven’t… slept with anyone else.” Chris confesses, leaving you utterly speechless.

“Oh. Alright… uhm… the next question says… what was the worst part about our relationship?” You tuck your hair behind your ear, a habit you have whenever you get nervous.

“Oh, that’s an easy one.” He chuckles. “It was definitely me.”

“What?” You frown. “Chris, you know that’s not true.”

“But it is… the fact that I was never there when you needed me…”

---

“So, I went shopping today. What are you wearing on Saturday? If you wear a tie, we need to get one in the same colour as my dress.” You spoke in a breath, kissing Chan's cheek.

“Saturday? What’s on Saturday?” He asked, genuinely confused.

“What?” You chuckled in disbelief. “My childhood friend invited us to her wedding, remember?”

“Oh, right!” He exclaimed. “Wait, let me check the date real quick.”

He stood up from the bed and ran to the living room, picking up his phone and opening his calendar.

“Shit. Babe…?” He smiled sheepishly.

“Don’t tell me you have other plans.” You frowned.

“I talked to our producer, and we are supposed to record some parts from that new song I told you about on Saturday… but it’s okay! I’ll make sure to finish in time so we can still go to the wedding! Don’t worry!” He immediately responded and apologised.

“Chris, the wedding is 3 hours away by car. I promised her we’d be there at 2 for the ceremony as well, not just for the party afterwards.” Your frown only deepened.

“Do we really need to go to the ceremony, though? Aren’t they… I don’t know… boring?”

“Are you being serious right now?” You sat up, annoyance plastered in your tone. “Chris, she’s my best friend. Of course we have to go to the ceremony too!”

“Eun-ji…” He started, and you got even more annoyed. It was like he wouldn’t take accountability for anything.

“I told you six months ago, Chris. How much time ahead do I have to tell you to make sure you’d clear up your schedule?”

“I’m so sorry, baby, but you know that our release schedule is really tight…”

“Why can’t I be a priority at least once, hm?! At least for a weekend!” You felt your eyes watering up. You knew his job was the most important, however, you were getting tired of always being put in second place by your boyfriend.

Hell, you were so disappointed right now. You asked him to clear up one single weekend, and he couldn’t even remember to do that.

“You know what? You’re right. I’m going to call up the producer right now and reschedule for next week, okay?” He pleaded with you, but you were already beyond disappointed with this situation.

He’s already made sure not to prioritize you, so you decided to just stop bothering him about it altogether.

“You know what? Don’t worry about it. I’ll just go on my own.”

“Eun-ji-”

“Besides, you don’t know anyone there, anyway, whereas I’ll just catch up with all my friends from school, so don’t worry. Go record your song.”

You got out of bed and made your way to the bathroom, turning on the water and hopping into the shower, trying to wash all the tears away.

---

“That was certainly… one of the lowest points in our relationship.” You reply, remembering the event with bitterness.

You ended up going alone to the wedding, and despite having fun and catching up with your old friends, having to go there on your own and having people ask you about where your boyfriend was truly hurt you.

“Mhm… I agree. I was such a dick. I’m so sorry, Eun-ji. If I were to turn back time, I would’ve never done those stupid mistakes.” He smiles apologetically.

“It’s fine… it’s all in the past anyway.” You return the same pained expression as he draws another card from the pile.

“Why did you accept to come here today?”

“Is that the question?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm, I guess I was just… I don’t know, even though we’ve broken up on relatively good terms, if you could say that... I guess I just wanted to talk to you again?” You smile briefly and draw another card. “Do you think I was a jealous partner?”

“You?” Chris chuckles. “God, no. If anything, I was the jealous one.”

“You were?” You laugh as well.

“Yeah… You, however, were never jealous, no matter how many people I’d interact with. Even though it was never inappropriate, I really appreciated that you trusted me, no matter what.”

“Of course I trusted you.” You smile. “You never made me doubt you, not even once.”

Which was true. You knew that he truly loved you during the brief two years of your relationship, and he’s never put himself in any compromising position with anyone else to make you jealous.

“Anyway… the next card reads: Why didn’t we work out?” You read out loud and wait a few seconds for Chris’ reply.

“I think the first time I started to doubt if our relationship was fair to you was when you got fired from the company because… because you were dating me. That’s when I knew that something was fundamentally wrong with us being together, because instead of me giving you anything positive, I just ended up causing you pain.” Chris speaks slowly, letting out a long exhale at the end.

“It was… a really tough time for me. Although my job was not ideal, it was something I worked very hard for, and once our relationship became public and suddenly everyone knew about us…” You shake your head.

It was a very difficult time for you to put yourself out there and find another job when the whole country was aware of your relationship with Chris.

“However… no matter how hard it was, I could get through it only because you were there with me.” You frowned. “I never blamed you for my job, or anything like that… ever.”

“I know… But still, how could I not blame myself? I felt so guilty… Heck, even now, a year after we broke up, I’m still sending you money to help you out with rent, even though I know you have a new job and all.” He chuckles.

“And I always send it back.” You smile.

“Wait, you do?” He frowns. “Really?”

“Mhm.” You nod, and he pulls out his phone and opens his bank app, and his expression only becomes more downcast.

“Eun-ji, why?”

“It’s alright, Chris. I really don’t need it. You’d better spend it for something else.”

“But I-”

“Really, stop it. Read the next card.” You blow him off, dismissing his words, and he lets out a sigh.

“What was our worst fight?”

“Hmm… I think the most soul crushing one was when I got that new job…”

“Right, I was also thinking of that one. See? I told you I was the more jealous one in our relationship.” Chris chuckles with a shake of his head.

---

“Thank you for dropping me off.” You smiled sweetly at one of your new co-workers, who offered you a ride home in his car since you were on his way.

Ever since you got fired from JYPE, you were struggling to find a new job, but thankfully, an opportunity came your way, and you didn’t think twice to accept it.

However, the new job was quite far away, and the hours were longer. You missed your short commute home, but you were simply unable to find anything else in the area.

You got out of his car and waved him goodbye, and when you turned around, there was Chris, with an angry expression on his face.

“Who was that?” He asked immediately.

“Is this how we say hi to each other now?” You tilted your head, unable to understand why he seemed so pissed at you.

“Eun-ji, answer the question, please. Who the hell was that, and why is he dropping you off so late? Where were you?”

“At work. I started a new job, remember?” You frowned, not understand what he was trying to accuse you of, or why.

“It’s almost 9 PM, and I see a random man dropping you off home. Do you think I’m stupid or something?” He fired back, angrier than before.

“Excuse me? What are you insinuating?” You retorted.

“I’m not insinuating anything. I’m just asking you a damn question, Eun-ji.”

“And I’m answering!” You almost started shouting but decided to take a deep breath in and ask Chris to talk inside.

He followed you upstairs, but his demeanour was cold, which gave away the fact that the fight was far from over.

“Alright, we’re inside. Care to explain now?”

“There’s nothing to explain, Chris. That was just my co-worker.”

“Just your co-worker. Okay, sure. And why the hell was he giving you a ride home?” He continued to ask in an accusatory tone, which pissed you off to no end.

“I don’t know, Chris. Maybe it’s because my boyfriend is way too busy to make the time to come pick me up or at least send me a damn cab!”

You found it hard to keep your composure any longer, so the way you replied came out a bit too loud, and so began a screaming match between you two, and by far the worst fight you’ve ever had, which ended in Chris leaving your apartment and you crying your eyes out until 5AM.

---

“I am not proud at all of how I acted that night…” Chris closes his eyes and breaths in, and you can almost hear the pain in his voice.

“I can’t say I handled it too well either.” You sigh. “I mean, I always gave you my unconditional trust, and there you were, doubting me because I decided to accept a ride from my co-worker. It was really shitty of you to do that…”

“I know… I’m sorry.” He apologises, and you draw a new card.

“Who broke up with who?”

“It was me... I knew how much I was hurting you, and I just… I guess I decided that breaking up would be better for the both of us.”

---

“Are you mad at me again?” You frowned, hearing the 10th sigh getting out of Chan’s lips in the past 5 minutes.

“No, I’m not mad at you.”

“That’s what it looks like.”

“I’m just so incredibly stressed, Eun-ji. Can’t you understand that?”

“No, Chris, I’m just a child, I need you to spell it out for me.”

“Now you’re just mocking me again.”

“What the hell is wrong with you? It’s like the only thing we do lately is fight.”

“You’re right.” He let out another sigh. “I wish we wouldn’t fight anymore.”

He stood up and cupped your cheeks, pressing a firm kiss against your lips.

“Me neither. I love you, Chris. I really do.”

“I love you too, Eun-ji.”

You continued kissing slowly, your hands exploring the other’s body, and your clothes started disappearing one by one, your naked bodies collapsing on the bed on top of one another.

You made love and kissed each other again and again, until there was no space on your bodies that the other’s lips haven’t touched.

Then, you laid your head on Chan’s shoulder and closed your eyes, almost falling asleep before the sounds of a whimper stirred you awake.

“Hey, you okay?” You asked, concern plastered across your face.

“Eun-ji… I’m so sorry baby.”

“What for?” You frowned.

“I think…” Chris started, his voice immediately cut off by a cry as he separated himself from you and sat up on the bed, not even looking at you.

“What’s wrong?” You sat up as well and placed your hand on his naked back, caressing it softly.

“I think we should break up, Eun-ji.”

As he said this, it felt like your whole world collapsed around you. His words took your breath away, and as he stood up and got dressed, you began shaking your head repeatedly and trying to talk some sense into him.

“Chris… no. No, no, we can’t. What do you mean, break up? No…” You stood up and followed him out of the room and into the hallway, watching helplessly as he began putting on his shoes.

“I’m so, so sorry. But it’d be better for us to break up. All we do is fight, and I… I ruined everything…” Chris cried, and so did you, as you hanged onto him for dear life, hugging his back and trying to stop him for going through that door.

“Please, no. Please stay.” You begged. “We don’t have to break up. We can make it work, hm?”

“No… No, we can’t. We’ve been trying for so long, and yet… I put you through so much… you’d definitely be better off without me, Eun-ji.”

“You’re so fucking selfish!” You shouted, crying your heart out. “I love you so much, and yet…”

“I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you, Eun-ji. But…” As he said this, he chocked on a sob, coughing slightly and wiping his tears away rapidly. “I just think it’d be best to stop this before I end up hurting you more, hm?”

"I'm the one who should decide if you're hurting me, Chris, not you!" You countered back, but he wouldn't hear any of it.

He turned around and hugged you tight, and the only thing you could do was beg him not to go.

He didn’t listen to you, and he left, and the house felt unbearably cold, and your bed was so empty, you loathed looking at it, knowing that just hours prior, you’ve made love on top of those sheets, and he loved you, and you loved him.

You tried calling him numerous times for the next week, but his calls would instantly get redirected to voice mail. At first, you left messaged for him, raging from disappointed, to sad, and even angry as the days passed and he wouldn’t return any of your calls, and after two weeks of no news from him, you understood that his decision was final, so you decided to finally block his number, and you haven’t looked back since.

---

“You were so incredibly cruel about that.” You reply, feeling tears well up in your eyes. However, you swallowed back the lump in your throat and didn’t allow yourself to cry in front of him again.

“I don’t know what I was thinking… To be honest, I’ve been considering breaking up for a while, but… the way I did it was indeed way too cruel, and that’s something I still regret. I just ended up hurting both of us in the process…”

You let out a bitter smile at his confession. You wanted to tell him how much it still hurt, how the break-up was still fresh in your mind even a year later, and how much you wish it never happened, but you couldn’t say anything.

You point him towards the cards, and he draws one and reads:

“Who do you think had the harder time after we broke up?”

“Honestly?” You chuckle. “I’ll selfishly say it was me. Did you have a hard time at all?”

“God, you have no idea.” He chuckles as well.

“Really?” Your eyes grow large. “But you didn’t even return my calls.”

“And when I did, I found out you blocked my number, so…” He scratches his nape.

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

You don’t know how to react to this new information. You’ve been wondering all this time if he’s ever reached out, and now that you found he did, you heart broke.

Maybe coming to this show was really a mistake, because your heart doesn’t seem to heal at all – it’s quite the opposite. It’s weighing heavier in your chest, and it hurts so much, and it doesn't seem like you'll get any closure.

You draw another card, but the question gets cold on your tongue, and you barely find the strength to ask it.

“Did you… uhm… did you ever see yourself marrying me?” You clear your throat and look at Chris, who’s showing you the most compassionate expression, so full of love, like you haven’t broken up a year ago.

“Yes.” He replies plainly, and this finally breaks you.

You avert your gaze as you feel your eyes swelling up with tears.

“I’m sorry, can I please have a moment? I need a break.”

You take in a few deep breaths and refuse to look at Chris anymore, because you can’t help the growing feelings in your chest and the pain ever-present in your heart.

“Alright… when?” You ask after a little while, trying to wipe away any tears that might’ve fallen on your cheeks.

“I fell in love with you quickly, but… I think I knew for sure that I wanted us to… uhm… to be more than just a couple… when you first met my family.”

---

“I’m so anxious! What if they won’t like me? What if they’d think I’m not good enough for you? Oh my God, Chris, where are the presents I bought??? Did you forget to pack them? I explicitly said-”

“God, Eun-ji, calm down.” Chris chuckled. “It’s just my parents. And I put the presents right there in the bag, just as you’ve asked me to.”

“I’m so anxious, I can’t help it!” You pouted. “Where exactly?”

“Here, let me look for them.” He offered, and you plopped on the bed in Chan’s old room, almost on the verge of crying.

You were thankful that his parents were away for a few hours to some sort of event, which gave you a little time to settle in their house and mentally prepare yourself for the impending meeting.

“What?” Chris asked puzzled.

“What?” You immediately sat back up, watching as Chris looked confused.

“I’m sure I packed them. Is this the wrong bag?” He tilted his head to the right, and you just about died.

“This can’t be true!” You exclaimed as Chris closed the bag and examined it.

“Shit, I thought you said I should put them in the blue one.”

“Chris!” You grabbed a pillow and threw it at him, and he started chuckling.

“It’ll be okay, babe, don’t worry.”

“No, it won’t! I came empty handed and they’re going to hate me, and-” You sniffed and buried your face in your palms, but Chris grabbed them gently and pushed them away, grabbing your face with his hands.

“They won’t hate you. They will see how much I love you, and they will love you too.”

“I put so much thought into those presents, though.” You pouted, thinking of the matching jewellery set you got for Chan’s folks that took you ages to decide on.

Before Chris got the chance to say anything else, you heard the front door open, and your heart stood still in your chest.

“Looks like they’re here. Come on, let’s meet them.” He dragged you up from the bed and you reluctantly followed him, and there they were, in the doorway, with large smiles on their faces at the sight of their son.

Chris introduced you and they immediately made you feel welcomed by taking you into a large hug, and then you had lunch together, when you talked and told them lots of funny stories from work and from your childhood.

Chan’s mother was more than happy to hear these stories and shared some of her son’s growing up as well, with a large smile spread across her face, and you had such a pleasant time together, hours ended up passing by, and day turned to night in no time.

By the time you were back in bed next to Chris, you wondered why you worried in the first place. These people were as lovely as him, and they apparently adored you too.

---

“My mom still asks me about you.” Chris chuckles.

“I also think about them often. How are they doing?” You ask with a soft smile, remembering the good times.

There were a lot of downs in your relationship, but more than anything – bigger than the pointless fights and sleepless nights –, you had some amazing moments together that you’d do anything to relive.

It truly doesn’t feel like a whole year went by with Chris not being in your life.

“They are doing well. Like usual.” He smiles back. “I believe we have two more questions to ask.”

“Yeah, it appears so.” You reply, unable to believe that a whole hour has passed already.

“My question reads: what have you been up to ever since we’ve broken up?”

“Hmm… you know me, just hustling here and there. I’ve found a new job that’s closer to home, I started going to the gym more or less regularly, I made some new friends and tried out some hobbies – which I ended up being too bad at to pursue.” You chuckle.

“Really? Like what?” Chan’s eyes sparkle with excitement as he’s placing his elbows on the table and his head steadily on his palms, showing you that you have his undivided attention, and it feels like no time has passed at all.

If you weren’t totally sure of your feelings until now, if you had the smallest doubt in your mind that you still loved him, watching him look at you like this made it clear.

You are very much still in love with Chris, and despite everything that went down, you wish things would be different between you.

You dread the hour being over and going back home to your life, devoid of his presence.

“Uhm, don’t laugh at me please.” You start, and Chris already lets out a chuckle. “I tried dancing, painting, boxing-”

“Wait, dancing?” Chris immediately erupts into laughter. “Eun-ji, you can’t be serious!”

“And why not?” You frown jokingly.

“I mean, you were always so bad at it whenever I’d try to show you any moves!” He continues laughing.

“Well, that’s your own fault for having hard ass choreos, not mine!” You retort, laughing along. “Besides, you promised me you wouldn’t laugh!”

“I didn’t promise anything!” He raises his hands in front of him in fake defence, a large smile adorning his face.

“Oh, fuck off!” You exclaim with a chuckle, drawing the last card from your pile. “Why did you invite me here today?”

“Oh.” Chris immediately turns serious and scratches his nape in slight embarrassment. “Uhm, you might know that I have a new album coming out… a solo one?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard something about it.” You nod.

So, after all, you were right, and he only invited you here to promote it.

“I don’t know what that has to do with me, though.” You continue, feeling your heart grow heavy.

“The album is about you, that’s why.” He smiles softly. “Would you maybe like to… listen to one of the songs in it?”

“Sure.” You nod again, your heart beating harder.

“It’s called Eun-ji.”

As he says this, he pulls out his phone and presses play on the song, and the calm beats begin surrounding you two, and soon enough, Chan’s pained voice.

It’s a sad song about a missed love, about regret and pain, about every unspoken feeling Chris had ever since you’ve broken up, and you found yourself tearing up and needing a few napkins to go through the whole thing.

Chris also begins crying, wiping his tears away repeatedly until the song is over, and when it is, he clears his throat and places his phone back in his pocket.

“Eun-ji, I… I’m still in love with you. Do you think that maybe... you would ever see us getting back together? Do you think you could ever give me another chance to fix my mistakes, to fix us?”

As he confesses this, you cry even louder and decide against replying. Instead, you stand up and go directly towards him, plopping yourself in his lap and hugging him tightly, and he immediately welcomes you, his arms circling your frame and pulling you tighter against him.

“I love you too, so, so much, Chris.” You whisper as you draw back, and his hands find your cheeks as he wipes away all the tears that are falling.

“My love, I was so, so wrong and selfish.” He frowns.

You shake your head, not wanting to think about it anymore, and press your lips against his.

Your first kiss after a whole year apart is long and sweet, and he hugs you even closer, and oh, how much you’ve missed him and everything about him. How much you longed to have him again…

“I missed you so much.” You confess, and he buries his head against your chest and sobs quietly in your arms for a few moments.

“Do you… uhm… do you want to get out of here and have some lunch? And maybe dinner, too?” He asks looking right in your eyes, and you nod, so he helps you up and grabs your hand, and without a word more, you two exit the studio together with the silent understanding that you’re back together, willing to work on your mistakes and to make it work this time around.

~The End~

[if-you-soul]

Mischaracterization in the CCCC fandom: a yapsesh (alternative title: Erm... What the Gore is Going On?)

Hi. Woaw. I'm actually making that post I talked about.

So. One thing I've noticed in the CCCC fandom is this weird fixation on gore, torture, violence, etc. Usually a level of graphic content that makes your average horror flick look... pretty tame!

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy horror! I even think a horror story based around psychological conflict similar to CCCC could work well!

But is it just me, or has this fandom COMPLETELY lost track of what the characters are like in the source material?

Like. Let's be real. Nowhere in the album does Soul do gruesome surgeries on Mind, nowhere does Mind go ripping people to shreds like Doomguy, et cetera. The closest thing we have to an implication of violence is what most of us call the "Juno incident"- as even "tines stabbed through eyes" is clearly a metaphor with the next line: "that the sides have condemned."

Im gonna talk ab the characters themselves under the cut

I feel the biggest victim of this mischaracterization is Soul. In the album he's... kind of a victim, really. He toughs out being dismissed and fought over and pushed aside and outright dehumanized for so, so long. Are we seriously just... going to characterize him based solely on his lowest point in TSE? Spring and a Storm and Mucka Blucka are also songs where he's present- along with his presence in Just Apathy that the fandom seems to outright deny to keep their characterization of him as some violent, abusive monster. (Which, again, is quite literally never alluded to! He's honestly kind of a victim, if anything!)

Ohhkay. Next topic. Mind. Oh boy I have thoughts on how people characterize Mind.

He's not emotionless. If you believe this, you've fallen for his stoic facade. All of his songs are just. So full of so much rage. Maybe even a little bit of grief and sadness and fear, masked by said rage. He isn't some emotionless robot- (Heart calls him an automaton as an insult, but that's another rant.) and honestly it feels like such a disservice to such an interesting character with so much unexplored depth to portray him as such.

Heart. Oh boy. Where do I start. Heart what did they do to you.

Heart is the emotional side, yes, but that isn't just some... smol innocent uwu baby who cries all the time. Emotions aren't small and cute and timid. They're INTENSE and PASSIONATE and EXHAUSTING. Strong emotions leave you so, so drained, good OR bad. This is so much more interesting than portraying him as some "uwu hai dere!!" type of character. Which is nowhere in the album.

Whole is hardly even a character. Soul worshipping and praying to whole is fanon.

This fandom's weird obsession with creating shock gore and one-upping each other in a violence competition has spiraled pretty far out of control, and it's honestly crazy. How do you go from an album about internal conflict to violence that would make even the cast of Resident Evil cringe? Brah.

Final notes uhhh. Soul is a victim who got pushed to his limit, not an evil heartless abuser. Mind is angry and unstable and hurt, not some emotionless robot. Heart is the entire emotional spectrum, not some innocent baby. Ok i . I think that's all. Have a good one

[keithbutgay]

okay okay i need to talk about this for a second

SO for one thing. this is also a book. i did not get very far into the book before giving up, for what it's worth. for context i have read about 35 of the original oz books

right. that being said. i have some stuff to say both about the content of the movie/book and the commentary said (everything i say is based on the book)

i definitely agree about ozma of oz (and about the missing scenes!) and i had no idea about the weird changes to princess langwidere? i actually loved her so much in the books i think she's so so so cool. the name change is fucking awful.

ABOUT THE OZMA THING. OH MY GOD

im going to talk a bit about the marvelous land of oz so that it's understood how this was absolutely butchered. first of all, as said by previous rebloggers, the storyline is of tip, the protagonist, who's a little boy living alone with this woman mombi (the real one, also the fifth wicked witch) and she gets this powder of life, fast forward fast forward tip carves a wooden figure and sticks a pumpkin on its head to scare her and she puts the powder of life on it and jack exists!

(i will agree that jack pumpkinhead as a character is literally just a guy /pos. i love him so much. shaking him violently)

anyways, jack refers to tip as his father and that's probably where that part of the movie expanded from. fast forward, at the end it's revealed that tip was princess ozma, the correct ruler of oz, and she had been kidnapped at birth and changed into a boy and it was all just one big trans allegory and i love her

so for the entirety of the books she like. is a kid. but yeah

in the third book, ozma of oz, the nome king (aka roquat) turns almost all of the characters into various little tchatchkies and they have to figure out which thingamabob is which person, which is presumably where the movie got the whole nome king turning everyone into statues thing.

the wheelers are actual guys! their design in the movie actually doesn't seem to be *too* inaccurate as far as costumes and makeup goes? so that's actually pretty interesting. i think they look kinda cool based on the images i've seen honestly :PP

okay. lets talk about tiktok

in the books, he's almost what you're describing. he has the key for moving, the key for talking, they key for thinking, and he does often wind down. HOWEVER. while there is a one-man army of oz, this is the soldier with the green whiskers. and he is SUCH a guy. tiktok is just kinda a character with a cool design, cause he's entirely clockwork. and the way he talks is written out really interestingly because he talks very haltingly and robotic (for obvious reasons) and he has to be wound up again every so often when he talks for a while

ALSO. ALSO ALSO ALSO i just noticed the gump in the image at the very top. the gump is made of two couches, the head of an "elk-like creature", palm branch wings, and a broom for a tail, also brought to life using the powder of life

anyways, this is getting really long so. i guess in summary this movie is awful and a completely misguided and incorrect representation of the books and if you're looking for a good sequel to the wizard of oz please just. read the books. please. theyre so good

What the heck, I’ll give it a shot.

How bad could it be?

[fleurvi]

Sick!S/O | Arcane Women

request for arcane women with a sick gf

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•

characters: ambessa, caitlyn, grayson, mel, sevika, vi

cw: fem!reader

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•

Ambessa Medarda

Ambessa doesn't really take care of you when you're sick. She's a warrior, not a doctor. But we're delusional here, so I'll go with it.

You are not allowed to lift a finger. You need to recover properly so she'll have guards around you at all times so you can order them to get things for you. She visits you regularly to check up on your health and make sure you're being doted on. In a rare occurrence, she offers you a massage to relax you.

“How are you feeling?” Ambessa asks, heavy hands working against your shoulders and neck. You nod, thanking her for her service. “Maybe a bath would do you good.”

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Caitlyn Kiramman

Cait panics. She can't think rationally at all. You cough once, and she's writing a eulogy. When she's sure it's not super serious, she's diligent in her care. She makes sure you stay hydrated and get plenty of rest.

“What are you doing? You should be resting,” says Cait as she notices you getting out of bed.

“Babe, c'mon”

“No. Don't you ‘babe’ me. You should be taking care of yourself,” She fusses, ushering you back to your bed.

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Grayson

Grayson believes that if you mope around In bed, you'll just make it worse. She lets you rest when you need it, but she encourages you just to take some painkillers, hydrate adequately and go about your work.

“Here you go,” Grayson says, handing you medication and water. “We've got a busy day. If it gets too much, just let me know, and I'll send you home to rest,” She says, pulling you into a hug and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Mel Medarda

She just wants you to get better. Mel checks up on you but doesn't spend much time with you because she doesn't want to catch whatever you have. When she does visit you, she makes sure to ask if you're getting what you need and making sure you get it. She's mostly concerned about you resting, so she stays with you, talking softly with you until you fall asleep.

“Are you sure you're okay, my love?” She asks, running her hands over your back.

“Yeah, I think I need to sleep off. Thank you for coming to visit,” you say, closing your eyes.

“You're welcome, My Love”

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Sevika

Sevika loves you, but she's not going to baby you. She'll ask you if you're on your deathbed, and if the answer is no, then you can get off your ass and help her with whatever business she's been called on.

If you want Sevika to help you with anything, you've got to turn on the whining. She likes being useful, so if you really need it, she'll sit with you until you fall asleep, but she won't wait for you to wake up. You're tough, like her, so she leaves you to it until you wake up and are ready to get back to work.

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Vi

Vi thinks her immune system is “built different”, and she's not entirely wrong. She'll stay with you, hold you while you sleep, and make sure you eat as well as you can in Zaun. If you tell her you're not really hungry, she will lecture you until you give in and at least try to eat.

“C'mon, pretty girl,” Vi says, leaning in to kiss you. You feel gross and push her head away.

“You'll get sick”

“Babe. My immune system is made of steel. I've never gotten sick in my life. Now come here and give me a proper kiss,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“Fine. If you get sick, I'm not gonna baby you.”

“Yes, you will”, she laughs, and you know she's right.

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Thank you for reading!

This was a request! My main interests right now are arcane and attack on titan so please keep dropping in my inbox!

[satsuha]

i'm always really interested in how the characters call each other in japanese games, so i laid out a few differences between the japanese and english versions of some ace attorney games that particularly interest me. this isn't meant to be an exhaustive list but it did get really long 😭

i highlighted english nicknames/etc in blue while japanese nicknames/etc are orange just to make reading a little easier

AA1-2

while only playing the english version i liked that maya called phoenix nick, it's a nickname that makes sense and phoenix is annoying to say and write anyway (lol) but the reason maya gives for this nickname in english is that it's what larry uses for him, which pales in comparison to maya in the japanese version opting for how mia used to call him: naruhodo-kun.

to me, this is a LOT more meaningful and informative than the english nickname because it not only is evidence of how much maya heard about phoenix from mia using that nickname, it also gives us a glimpse of maya's personality and her relationship with phoenix. -kun is an honorific that's usually used for either male classmates or for teachers/superiors to use with their students/subordinates. maya falls into neither of these categories with phoenix, but it also lines up with how she acts like the boss of the office a lot of the time. SO LIKE... ultimately the nickname nick just does not hold up in terms of both maya's reasoning for using it, and phoenix's apprehension at her calling him that... which i just think is a shame!! in the same vein, this nickname is passed down to pearl, and again you see phoenix having a Reaction to it which makes sense considering it's funny that a kid is calling him naruhodo-kun...

i don't only want to talk about changes in english that i don't prefer, so i also want to mention that i'm very impressed that they managed to get phoenix and edgeworth referring to each other by their surnames in english to sound natural... because it's also exactly what they do in japanese except there, the idea of male friends using their surnames with each other is a very very normal thing. i AM torn on the fact that in japanese larry also refers to the two of them by their surnames, which means all 3 of them are on equal grounds in that respect. AT THE SAME TIME... english makes larry's "nick" and "edgey" work so well that i really can't say we missed out with this localization, but i do like the relationship between these 3 so i do like that the japanese is indicative of it too :)

AA4

i'm skipping ahead to aa4 because trucy's also a very interesting localization to me... the first time i played aa4 i felt like trucy wasn't sufficiently differentiated enough from maya's character which is like. debatable but those were my initial thoughts anyway. in japanese though she uses third-person pronouns (calling herself by her own name, minuki) which is VERY distinct from maya. there are a number of ways to interpret this choice but i like the one that indicates that it's part of her stage persona. aside from that though, she also has a very normal nickname for apollo (odoroki-san, with -san indicating general politeness) while polly is um well canonically the name of a parrot LOL

i do find it pretty interesting that the above exchange is the first instance trucy uses the polly nickname, because it's entirely different in the japanese version. phoenix says "if this onii-chan over here can't help you..." to which trucy responds by saying "how could you, onii-chan!" this exchange is hilarious to me because phoenix referring to apollo as an onii-chan is pretty normal? it's common to refer to any young man as that and in this case he's also referring to apollo from trucy's perspective. but trucy DIRECTLY calling apollo onii-chan (brother) is just so funny because HERE it's a lot closer to how an actual younger sister would refer to her older brother; there's a difference between saying "this onii-chan" and just "onii-chan". now i'm not saying this was direct foreshadowing because onii-chan is also used between close friends/acquaintances but like... the possibility is there.

AA5

now onto simon because i don't actually have a problem with the localization making him a british weeaboo i think that's really funny but i DO wish the nicknames he uses for the defense attorneys were more... appropriate? the honorific -dono that he uses in english does complement his samurai look but it's usually used in contexts where there's some respect involved, which is... not simon's intention in japanese. i'm admittedly not too familiar with the nicknames he uses in japanese; he uses "[kanji] no ji", while using a kanji from phoenix/apollo/athena's surnames. by searching it in japanese, i'm finding answers that it was medieval slang used by men usually in red light districts and such, and was used to refer to those with equal or lower status to oneself but never to those of higher status. this is kinda the opposite of what -dono is which is used for those of equal or higher status!!

i also find it pretty amusing that despite him using the first kanji in phoenix's name; 成 (turn into, grow), he uses the second kanji in both apollo and athena's names; 泥 (mud) and 月 (moon) respectively. i can only imagine that he did this because the first kanji in their names; 王 (king) and 希 (rare, hope) respectively, were too positive/complimentary for him? LOL

AA6

now i want to to talk about apollo in aa6 because NNGNRHGH i'm not normal about this one. because like, similarly to what i said up there about phoenix, edgeworth and larry's relationship, it's completely normal for close male friends to use their surnames with each other. phoenix, being apollo's boss, refers to him as odoroki-kun (mirroring how mia and maya call phoenix). trucy uses odoroki-san, indicating general politeness and athena uses odoroki-senpai, because he's her senior in their workplace. clay uses odoroki (no honorific), which is the same "level" as phoenix/edgeworth/larry's relationship.

a male character never being referred to as their first name is pretty normal, which is also the case in the aa games. franziska calls edgeworth by his first name reiji which is SUPPOSED to stand out because it's notably impolite/informal for someone who is younger than him, which suits the idea of her thinking of herself as the elder sibling. for additional reference, phoenix is only referred to by his first name by dahlia/iris; ryuu-chan ("feenie" equivalent) and desiree; ryuuichi-kun ("nicky boy" equivalent). so apollo is referred to exclusively by his surname, because there isn't anyone who's associated with him who would feasibly use his first name.

THAT IS. UNTIL we meet datz who is the first (!!) character to use apollo's first name in japanese. this moment doesn't stand out in english because i KNOOWWW datz uses the AJ nickname which is very cute but he doesn't actually use that nickname the first time he indicates that he knows apollo in case 6-3!! phoenix's momentary confusion here is also explained because while he obviously knows apollo's full name, he's never heard anyone refer to him with it!!!

so phoenix's thoughts in japanese here were originally "housuke... wait, that bracelet! that's odoroki-kun!"

dhurke and later nahyuta (during the last moments of the 6-5 trial) also refer to apollo with his first name, which is... really nice!!! they're family!!!! i mourn the fact that this distinction isn't visible in english because most characters just call him apollo but it's special in japanese... it's only dhurke, nahyuta and datz who use his first name.... i'm normal i promise

funnily enough i sort of have the opposite issue with nahyuta, who is generally referred to as prosecutor sahdmadhi in english but nayuta-kenji (prosecutor) in japanese. i'm assuming this is because his name is written with his given name first unlike japanese names, so they just used his given name instead of his surname...? unfortunately we don't have an example of any other foreign prosecutor as reference (i'm excluding van zieks here because they DO use his surname but it's also an entirely different time and place) but i prefer the english here since it also makes it stand out when apollo, dhurke and datz (with yuty hehe) use his first name with him.

but then again... rayfa also refers to him as prosecutor sahdmadhi in english, but just calls him nayuta in japanese. there aren't a lot of characters rayfa refers to by name but generally she's either overly polite (with ga'ran and inga) or overly impolite (with phoenix and apollo). it makes sense that the way she calls nahyuta is a little unique, since he's of lower status than her but not enough to get a rude nickname fdjhja... and then of course at the end of the game she tries to call him onii-(chan? san? sama? we just don't know) which nahyuta interprets as oni (demon) i think the localization here is really impressive actually. they somehow managed to seamlessly fit braid head into the mix of barbed head and horn head (both nicknames that refer to their hairstyles) while braid also begins with the same letters as brother... anyway i think i slightly prefer that rayfa (and ga'ran) call nahyuta by his first name rather than by his prosecutor title, it's indicative of their higher status because of the lack of an honorific but by the end of the game it fits in with the idea of them all being family...

TGAA1-2

you would think that because tgaa opted to leave japanese honorifics in the dialogue that there wouldn't be any differences in how the characters refer to each other but there are... first of all kazuma and ryunosuke are once again male friends who refer to each other by their surnames without an honorific in japanese, but the english has them use their first names with each other instead. i can understand this change because characters using only their surnames with each other feels oddly distant in english, and while it worked for phoenix and edgeworth's relationship it definitely doesn't suit kazuma and ryunosuke's.

additionally, the way susato calls ryunosuke was also changed from naruhodo-sama to naruhodo-san. this is... also an interesting change since it requires the player to have some basic knowledge of japanese honorifics but for some reason decided to change it anyway, despite the fact that susato also uses -sama with kazuma... one thing to note is that susato does use kazuma's first name instead of his surname like she does with ryunosuke, which helps indicate their closer relationship despite her still showing respect with the -sama honorific. in that sense naruhodo-san feels like an interesting middle ground because she's still using his surname but doesn't seem to view his position with her as equal to kazuma's? i assume that was the intent of the localization, similarly to how the way kazuma and ryunosuke call each other was changed to indicate closeness to the english-speaking player

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anyway while i do prefer the original japanese version most of the time, my general view of original vs localization is like wow! two cakes! i might prefer one of those cakes more, but the english version usually provides enough that i like that both canons exist. because of this i can't agree with the idea that all localization is bad nor the side that believes the original doesn't matter because you're engaging only with the english side of the fandom. both are good and can reveal interesting things about the characters, story and setting!!

and thank you for reading if you got this far 🙇 i'm not an expert at japanese so i try to do my research and use multiple sources to get a better view of things, so please let me know if i got anything wrong! i also recommend checking out this post if you haven't seen it already since it's where i got some pointers on the trucy and simon segments

[retrorats]

Some thoughts about Komaeda's fifth free time event and his relationship with Hinata

The fifth Komaeda free time event has always been very popular between Komahina fans, specially because the event was where the romantic tone of their relationship was consolidated for a lot of people. But even if the focus is usually on Komaeda's love confession, I have always felt that this free time event is way more important and meaningful besides that. This event has on it a lot of important moments that say a lot about their relationship, and that make very clear the most prevalent themes of it.

The free time event starts with Komaeda wondering why Hinata is still going out in his way to talk to him. Hinata answers that he is doing it so he can hear the rest of his story, in his typical fashion of rationalizing and dismissing his feelings for Komaeda. While Komaeda tells the rest of the story, he says one of the most important things for this free time event, and in general for the relationship of Komaeda and Hinata.

This dialogue reveals to us the important information about how Komaeda not only perceived the similarities between them since they first met, but also how since that moment, he deeply believed that Hinata would be able to understand him. All of the things that this scene explains are the fundamental basis of the relationship of Komaeda and Hinata. Komaeda's attachment towards Hinata comes from a place of feeling like he had finally found a person that could get to understand him and as we will see with other parts of this free time event, he thought he had finally found a person that could love him.

Hinata's response towards Komaeda is also important to mention. Hinata negates to be not like Komaeda, he rejects their similarities and also in certain way he rejects the connection Komaeda feels between them, something that's accentuated even more considering how Komaeda interprets his words as having lost the opportunity of having someone inheriting his soul. But even in his negation, there's something deeply interesting in the way Hinata phrases certain things in it. If we look well at what Hinata is saying, we can see how while he negates being similar to Komaeda, his negation is mostly focused on negating his misery, and he seems to silently accept being a bystander that is devoid of any unique aura possessed by the talented.

In a certain way, Hinata's negation in this part has always read to me as being a last resort to try to distinguish himself in some way from Komaeda. Compared to other parts where Komaeda alludes to him and Hinata being similar, here the negation of Hinata doesn't feel so unaware like in the other times that he negated it, here it feels more like Hinata is legitimately aware of how similar they are; He says that he's not miserable, and that he is ultimately different from Komaeda as a last resort to negate what he already knows, and to dissociate himself from him.

Komaeda talks about how he doesn't have anyone in this world and how absolutely lonely his existence is. Something very interesting that Komaeda says, is that he mentions his ideologies as the main reason for being alone.

This moment is not only interesting because it puts Komaeda loneliness to be something that is a lot about his way of thinking being completely incomprehensible for other people, but also because it provides us with certain information about the relationship between Komaeda and Hinata. People distancing from Komaeda because of his beliefs is not something that is only mentioned here, but it is very explicitly the main reason why Hinata distanced himself from Komaeda since chapter 1. Because of this, it's not hard to read this to be a certain reference to his relationship with Hinata -a person that Komaeda really felt he could connect with- and how he also ended up distancing himself because of his way of thinking, like other people Komaeda knew.

This seems to be the principal reason of why Komaeda seems to be so focused on believing that he and Hinata are similar, and also in the belief of Hinata being able to understand him. Komaeda has been misunderstood by everyone all his life and his ideologies have isolated him from the rest of society. All of this has resulted on Komaeda having the fixation on finding someone that would be able to understand him, this fixation ultimately leading him to have a very intense attachment towards Hinata even when they barely really knew each other, because it was probably the first time he had known someone that was similar enough to him to understand him.

There is also a certain connection between Komaeda thinking that they are similar, Hinata distancing himself from him and Komaeda's surprised reaction in chapter 1 seeing Hinata had started to think lowly of him. When Komaeda thought that he and Hinata were similar, he probably also believed that Hinata had a similar way of thinking, and because of that, he wouldn't just distance himself from Komaeda like the others when discovering the truth of the murder.

Considering how Komaeda talks about feeling that Hinata was able to understand his feelings, how he implied that he wanted Hinata to "inherit his soul" and in general considering how much this free time event talks about their connection, is not hard to think that in certain way this line is also a little bit about Hinata. Obviously, Komaeda's desire to be loved wasn't born because of Hinata, but I do think considering all we have seen before, is logical to think that one of the reasons Komaeda was so attached to Hinata is because he saw in him -because of their similarities- someone that he could connect with, and for that same reason, someone that could love him.

This is specifically accentuated considering the very strong reaction that has Hinata regarding this statement, literally considering throwing everything he has believed about not forgiving Komaeda until that point. I don't think that his reaction is because he was aware of that fact, but I do think it was written in that way to accentuate how this was talking in a certain way about Hinata.

Hinata's extremely heartbreaking and intense response towards Komaeda "lying" could also be easily considered a hint towards this being in a certain way about Hinata, but his response to this is also about way more than just that. His reaction is due to a lot of things, for one part it's about how Hinata feels like he was just deceived by Komaeda again, after having spent so much time trying to actually understand him. But is also about how Hinata wanted to believe in the existence of the Komaeda he once knew. Both of these very strong reactions -this one and his reaction towards Komaeda wanting to be loved- are born from that, from the need to believe him and to have a proof that after all, there existed some truth about the Komaeda he once knew, that there was some logic behind Komaeda, that there existed a reason behind his behavior.

He specially wanted to believe on that line because of how human it makes Komaeda. His biggest desire being something as sensible and human as connection, and this desire, being only realized when on the verge of death, is something that makes Komaeda look very tragic. That makes, Komaeda, human and sensible, and his actions, suddenly are more understandable. Hinata wants to believe on this because he wants to make reason of Komaeda, and give a logic, a very human and sensible logic, to the way he acts.

To finalize, I really love this event because I feel that in it is conveyed all of the main themes and important parts of the relationship of Komaeda and Hinata. It's very beautiful for me to see all the little parts that make them themselves being presented so strongly and explicitly on a full event.

[rambles-on-dragon-age]

Inquisition can be hard to get into if you don't utilize the NPC AI in combat and abuse the tactical menu tbh (I was struggling VERY hard until hubby set up the AI for me and showed me it was an actual thing.)

But as;dkfjaksdfai DAI has a good story but admittedly it feels like a lot of the good elf lore is locked behind being romanced with the egg. A friend I got into the games did NOT like him either and it has been hard to convince her to give him a chance to get that extra lore and juicy bittersweet bits.

(Honestly, if you don't think you'll ever get into Veilguard or finish Inquisition, I would be happy to answer questions/info dump on discord a;aksdjf this is a bigger special interest for me than XIV ever could be and the story is really fucking good. The Veilguard lore reveals have been INSANE.)

He's a complex lil shit in the end; who he IS is at odds for who he HAS to be. And don't worry; even Solas fans want to scramble his egg because of his behavior. 😆(There is a veilguard ending where you get to rock that egg, too, so his haters DO get a chance to punch him in the face.)

((Admittedly, his ego did not bother me one bit because he reminds me of my husband. 😆Can come off as arrogant or haughty, but really is just a fucking big ass nerd that just wants to talk to someone about his special interest. (That emotional attachment from being reminded of my real husband did NOT help me for how it ended either adsjkfa;df)))

so funny in dragon age inquisition where everyone was like "hoooly fuck. can solas shut up. can he stop talking about spirits and the fade for 5 fucking secondsss." is like if you had a coworker who texted you nonstop like "broooo I love surfing i love the sea 💦🏝⛵🌊 haha water and shit yo. man let's hit some waves let's cowabunga let's swim with the fishiessss haha hmu" and then you find out he's poseidon