#that was a brutal hiatus. lol

[ayyy-pee]

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐈𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞𝐬

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟲 - 𝗠𝗶𝘅𝗲𝗱 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀

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Pairing: Suguru Geto x Black Female Reader

Summary: A surprise around every corner.

Genre: Pregnancy AU

Story Warning:Smut, Vaginal Sex, Angst, Fluff Sometimes, Profanity, Friends with Benefits, Mental Health Discussions, Therapy, Mental Health Struggles (Suguru), Jealousy, Jealous Behavior, Overprotective, Possessive, Accidental Pregnancy, Unprotected Sex, Pregnancy Sex, Breeding Kink, Creampie, Possessive Sex, Possessive Behavior, Reader is black female reader who uses she/her pronouns but anyone can read!

Click here to read on Ao3!

Suguru Art by: Ilameys

A/N: I can't believe I randomly pumped out a chapter of this after like a year+ hiatus. Idk when the next time I'll update this one is so enjoy! LOL

Shoko’s slender fingers swipe along your stomach, a warm towel cleaning the ultrasound jelly from your skin before she gently pulls your gown back down. 

“So…” Shoko breathes as she watches Suguru gently help you to sit up. “Any questions?”

You glance up at Suguru who peers down at you. Your hand still holds his tightly. In his other hand, he holds one of the photos Shoko took of your baby. It matches the one in your free hand. He’s been so quiet, didn’t utter a word while he watched Shoko carefully slid the ultrasound scanner along your skin to take photographs and the measurements of the baby, but you could feel his pulse race with every movement of the tiny being on the screen.

“How far along am I?” Your voice is hardly above a whisper, trembling with every syllable.

“Baby is measuring around 18 weeks, give or take a few days. But everything looks good so far, and you’re looking good as well. How’s your morning sickness?”

Suguru shifts next to you, brows furrowed. Since breaking the news to him, he’s been able to put 2 and 2 together and figured out that your months long illness was simply your baby rejecting every attempt to eat or drink anything.

You nod. “It was brutal, but I’m feeling good most of the time now.”

From your peripheral, you see the way Suguru purses his lips together and you half expect him to make a snarky remark. But just like his presence here today, he surprises you when he takes your hand in his and whispers, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

And it has to be the hormones that have tears forming in the corners of your eyes. It’s not his fault he wasn’t there for you. In fact, he had tried to be there for you many times even if he had no idea what the real cause of your sickness was. You haven’t forgotten the endless bowls of soup he’d brought you when he first found out you were sick and refused to see him, or the texts and calls that you rejected when he tried checking on you. You can appreciate that, appreciate him. The fact that Suguru has always been kind to you, always been a friend to you. Even when you weren’t deserving, when you weren’t a good friend to him. You give him a small smile, taking his hand in yours and squeezing gently. You don’t need to say anything for your apology to come through loud and clear, because when Suguru squeezes your hand back, you know he’s moved past it.

“Okay. Let me know if it starts back up again. I can prescribe you something to help. Take your prenatals,” Shoko interrupts, not caring in the least about your little tender moment with your child’s father. She stands tall, slipping her hands into her white coat pockets. “It’s crucial for the baby’s health, and yours. Pregnancy has a funny way of fucking with your cursed energy and those vitamins are specially made for pregnant Sorcerers.”

“I will,” You agree and Shoko smiles at you, then at Suguru.

“Alright, I’ll let you get dressed, but you’re all set. Let me know if you have any questions or call me if anything comes up.”

With that she leaves, patting Suguru on his shoulder on her way out. You shoot him a questioning look. “What was that about?”

Suguru slips a hand behind your back, slowly helping you to get comfortable. He shrugs. “Who knows? Do you…” He motions to the door with his thumb. “Do you want me to leave so you can get dressed?”

A small laugh bubbles from your chest. “What would that matter? It’s not like you haven’t seen everything already.” You extend your arm, motioning to the chair where your clothes lie. “Will you hand those to me please?”

Suguru does so without question. He stands there, staring at a point on the wall while you dress yourself, still wanting to be respectful. Now that the appointment is over and Shoko (and the ultrasound machine) are no longer there to act as a buffer, it’s a bit awkward. You slip your shirt on, carefully sliding off of the bed with Suguru’s help. You can’t help but giggle at the way he gently makes sure you’re stable before he releases his hold on you.

”I’m not huge just yet. I’m still able to get around well.”

Suguru just shrugs, a light rose color dusting his cheeks. “Kinda can’t wait to see your belly grow,” he mutters quietly. His words have your heart going into overdrive, and you stare up at him wide eyed. “Can’t ever be careful, by the way. I don’t mind helping you out.”

You bite your lip to suppress the smile fighting to take over and nod. He’s right. You should let him help you. He wants to.

“You hungry?” He asks, carefully slipping the ultrasound picture in his jacket pocket and patting it affectionately. “We can grab some lunch and maybe talk…about everything.”

He holds his hand out to you and you take it immediately. “I’d like that.”

-

“Be back by curfew,” Satoru grunts from behind Ijichi’s desk. He’s got his enormous feet propped up on the day pass paperwork he’s just signed off granting Suguru permission to leave the campus with you. The assistant stands to the side, jittery and sweating as his eyes dart between the former friends. 

This is the norm for Suguru. If ever he needs to leave campus, Satoru is required to sign off on it.

The higher ups probably feel it’s better to have The Strongest around to make sure nothing is amiss when releasing a recovering mass murderer into the public even for a few hours. They must be pretty confident that this time around, he won’t hesitate to do what needs to be done.

“I know,” you assure Satoru because Suguru isn't going to. He knows that Satoru isn’t going to acknowledge him. Especially when Satoru makes it painfully clear that he isn't, his entire body turned away from him to face you. If Satoru’s attitude toward Suguru bothers him at all, he doesn’t let it show. He’s leaning against the wall of Ijichi’s office, gaze set on you as you handle what needs to be done. He’s used to this procedure already, so he’s just ready to get out of here.

You sign your name on the dotted line of the last sheet of the stack, agreeing to take on sole responsibility for the man beside you. When you slide the papers over to Satoru, the man sits up, face serious. His lips are set in a hard line and you think he’s looking at you. You really can’t tell behind that damned blindfold of his, but yeah…you’re fairly certain he’s staring at you. You don’t know Satoru all that well. Not even as well as Ijichi, and definitely not as well as Suguru, but to be under the gaze of The Six Eyes probably feels like what you’d imagine being under a microscope feels like. You feel exposed, like everything about you is being laid bare before this man. You don’t like it.

“You done?” Suguru steps in between you and Satoru’s line of sight, and you nod. Pressing a hand to the small of your back, he ushers you out of the office and into the open air where you feel like you can breathe again. You glance back at the office, just barely catching sight of Satoru warping out of Ijichi’s seat, and let out a sigh.

“That was so weird,” you murmur, turning back to stare up at Suguru. “It’s like –”

“He knows,” Suguru cuts you off, staring at the doors behind you. Like he can still see Satoru andt he look on his face long after he’s gone. 

“Huh?”

“He knows. About the –” he glances around, lowering his voice so only you can hear. “About the baby.”

Your heart pounds loudly in your ears, because for some reason, you hadn’t thought for a second that Satoru Gojo - the holder of The Six Eyes - would immediately pick up on the fluctuations in your cursed energy caused by your pregnancy, but you should have guessed. Now what’ll happen? You still haven’t spoken to Principal Yaga about your situation and you’re damn sure not ready to yet.

Suguru takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together. He can see your thoughts running a million miles a minute already, so he tells you what he knows will calm you. What he knows without a doubt is the truth. “He won’t say anything.”

“How do you know what?”

Suguru chuckles, squeezing your hand reassuringly as he makes his way across the campus and towards the exit, your hands still clasped together. “Satoru may hate me, may wish I were dead from time to time, and that’s fine. He will never hate me as much as he hates authority, the higher ups and especially paperwork.” 

You find yourself smiling, believing Suguru’s words. 

“If Satoru reported your condition, he’d be required to speak to the higher ups. And then he’d be required to fill out form after form about how he found out and why that makes you ineligible to take on missions. Trust me, he’s going to take this secret to his grave until you or Shoko say something. Then he’ll leave the paperwork to you two.”

Relief floods over you, because you do trust Suguru. You know that he’s right. Who knows Satoru better than his old friend? While Satoru can’t stand the sight of Suguru most days, he’s still fairly the same person from what Shoko and Suguru have told you of their time growing up together. So if Suguru says he won’t say anything, you trust his word.

“But honestly, paperwork is really reason enough for Satoru to keep his mouth shut,” Suguru mutters, and you lean against his shoulder as you burst into laughter.

- 

You sit in a bustling cafe hidden in one of the back streets of Shibuya, waiting at the table for Suguru to bring back your meal. He’d insisted that he didn’t want you standing around if you didn’t need to and instructed you to wait for him. He would hear no arguments about it. This is a fairly new side of Suguru - doting and protective, and each time his hand touches you, your heart rate picks right up. It’s making you confused.

There’s always been a strong physical attraction between the two of you, obviously. But you’ve never entertained the thought of seeing Suguru in a romantic light. You’ve always been able to keep him at a distance simply by reminding yourself that he just isn’t fit to be a romantic partner. He’s damaged, and while he’s working towards being a better man, you’re not sure if he’ll ever truly get there. At least as a romantic partner, because he’s an amazing friend and you have no doubt that he’ll be an incredible father, too. But it’ll be a long while before you both get to hold this baby. Who knows what could happen in the remainder of your pregnancy?

Suguru stands at the counter, waiting for your orders to be finished and it’s the first time since everything has come to light that you’ve gotten to just observe him. Your eyes watch as he exhibits all the nervous behaviors you’ve picked up on in the time you’ve gotten to know him. His lip between his teeth, probably red and swollen from him chewing it so hard. Fingers fiddling with the bun that sits atop his head. Hands slipping into his pockets for all of three seconds before they’re right back in his hair.

You’re sure if you pressed you could probably find out what was on his mind, but then you’re afraid that he’d probe back and you’re not sure if you’re ready to go there with him just yet. You’re not sure if you want him to know that you’re giving thought to what the next step of your relationship should be. You’re not sure if you want him to know that you can’t tell if it’s the pregnancy hormones that have your heart racing as he grabs your order and brings it over to you. Or if it’s the pregnancy hormones that make your eyes water just a bit at the way he carefully arranges your food and drink and asks if there’s anything else you need because he’s happy to grab it for you. Or maybe it’s you, truly feeling this way because it’s the pregnancy showing you your friend in a completely different light.

It’s a strange feeling to look at Suguru this way. No longer your fuck buddy, but now the father of your child and…a potential romantic partner?

”What are you thinking about?” Suguru questions, sipping his coffee.

”Nothing!” You blurt out much too quickly, sipping your drink. Even with his brows furrowed in curiosity, you’re thankful that Suguru doesn’t pry any further.

“Okay…” He unwraps his meal, a black bean burger on wheat. “So, how are you feeling after the appointment?”

For some reason, his concern for you makes your heart swell. Even after you keeping this pregnancy a secret from him, and after everything that followed, his concern is you first.

‘No, his concern is for the baby,’ you try to reason. 

“I feel good. What about you? Wasn’t it so weird to see the baby?” You chuckle, taking a bite of your meal.

Suguru nods. “Yeah, a little. But if anything, it made everything feel a little more real. Like…my child is in there. And before we know it we’ll be holding them.” He shakes his head, eyes roaming your face. “Makes me wonder what they’ll be like…what they’ll look like. Will they have my eyes? Your curls? Will they inherit either of our cursed techniques or one of their own? Or…” he swallows a piece of his burger, but you don’t miss the brief flash of bitterness on his face, disappearing as quickly as it came before he continues, “…what if they have cursed energy at all?”

Your stomach drops, and a wave of nauseousness washes over you. Of course he’s worried about that. Why wouldn’t he be? Cursed energy is everything to him. It’s what separates him, you, all Sorcerers from the rest of the world that he deems too unworthy to be in his presence. Why would he ever want a child that doesn’t have cursed energy?

“...does that make a difference?” You’re scared to ask, but you have to know. Will his child not having cursed energy be the catalyst of whatever this relationship between you two may end up being?

Suguru takes a while to answer. Probably longer than you would have liked. It makes your nerves worse, makes your lip quiver because you’re afraid. You’re so afraid that he’ll look you in the eye and say yes. Yes, it matters to him. Yes, it will make a difference to him whether his child has cursed energy or not. Maybe he won’t be involved if they don’t. And that hurts you more than anything. To think that Suguru may think your child is as worthless as any of the other non-Sorcerers he sees on the streets.

When Suguru finally meets your gaze, he has what looks like something similar to shame behind them.

“Can I be honest with you?” He asks, combing his fingers through his hair. That nervous tick that now you wish you weren’t so familiar with. But you nod anyway. You want to hear him out. “I…” He sighs. You can see the wheels turning in his head, and you know he’s trying to be careful about the words that come out of his mouth next. “I…can’t lie and say I wouldn’t be disappointed if they didn’t have cursed energy.”

You feel yourself deflate. Why was that even important? Why would that matter?

“But,” he interrupts your spiraling thoughts. “I wouldn’t love them any less, I don’t think. Honestly, it’s a confusing feeling. I should probably talk to my therapist about it.” He shrugs, like he didn’t just strap you into a rollercoaster and send you on one hell of an emotional ride. 

“ I want to be there for this baby - for you - no matter what they turn out like.”

You want to cry, burst into tears right in the middle of this cafe. It’s the pregnancy hormones, you swear. It’s definitely the hormones that have you wanting to bawl your eyes out in front of this man and tell Suguru that after everything…after all the pain that you caused him…you’re so happy that he was able to forgive you, so relieved that he wants to be involved, so damn glad that he wants to love his baby. But you tuck away the hope that maybe he’d want to love you, too one day. Because…it’s the hormones talking. 

You were so worried, and for nothing. For Suguru to bring up therapy at all regarding this topic. You know he’s taking this seriously. And all because he wants to be there for you and for the baby. You give him a soft smile, and he shyly returns it.

“I do have one thing I wanted to bring up.” He inhales deeply, steeling himself. “Are you alright with the twins knowing? They always did want a sibling.”

Your heart melts. It’s so sweet that he’d want the girls - his first daughters - to know about the baby on the way.

“Yes! Of course. We can talk about when’s a good time to tell them…”

And you do just that. You plan on when to tell Mimiko and Nanako. You talk about baby names. Does he prefer a boy or a girl? And as you would expect, he’s not picky. As long as they’re strong and healthy. He tells you he hopes they have your eyes - kind and gentle. And you tell him you hope they have his smile, the one you know is genuine. He wants them to have curly hair, just like you. And you want them to be as smart as their father.

It’s oddly domestic, sitting around in this cafe, planning for a baby with a man who just a few weeks ago, you weren’t sure you ever wanted to know about this. It’s warm, comfortable, even safe. But here you are…making it work.

-

You ascend the steps of Jujutsu High with Suguru in tow. He’s slowly following behind you, just in case you slip and fall back and he has to catch you.

“I read pregnancy throws your balance off quite a bit,” he’d told you when he insisted you walk ahead of him. Worry was etched heavily between his brows. You just couldn’t bring yourself to tell him no.

You’re kind of glad you listened, because you’re practically gasping for air the higher you go. Were there always so many damn stairs here? Why did they need this many steps? And was it always so hard for you to climb up them? Your body feels like you’re dragging a bag of weights attached to your legs, exhaustion slowing you down by the second.

“Fuck this,” you pant, hands on your hips as you pause to catch your breath.

Behind you, Suguru chuckles. He holds his arm out for you and you grab hold, happily letting him drag you the rest of the way.

When you reach the top, a tall figure is already waiting. His thick arms are folded across his chest, eyes taking in the scene between you and Suguru and you quickly separate.

“Principal Yaga,” you breathe, pretending as if you weren’t two seconds from passing out just a moment ago.

“What can we do for you?” Suguru questions, buying you some time to catch your breath again. He’s such a godsend.

“Nothing you can do, Suguru.” He juts his chin out, motioning at you. “I need you on a mission. Leaving tonight.”

“M–me?”

Yaga sighs, like it’s annoying him to repeat himself. And it probably is. “Yes.”

It’s mandatory. You can tell in his tone.

“...okay.”

You can see Suguru in your peripheral, head snapping towards you because what the absolute hell are you thinking taking a mission on in your condition?! But you haven’t told anyone outside of him and Shoko about the pregnancy. And Satoru apparently found out all on his own, that wasn’t your choice. You’re not ready to break the news to Yaga and have all eyes on you. Questions asked by your colleagues and your students, wondering who the father is. Then you’ll have to explain your situation with Suguru. And that’s opening a whole new can of worms.

It’s all things you’re just not ready to touch on yet.

And honestly, you’d rather figure out what your situation with Suguru even is before you let anyone else in on your condition. Are you together? Are you not together? Will you try dating? Maybe not? The situation is complicated. So you can’t turn down this mission. Not yet, at least. Besides, it’s still early enough in your pregnancy that you aren’t showing yet. You can get away with maybe just this one.

Though you’re not sure how you’re going to use your cursed technique when it knocked you unconscious the last time.

Suguru stands idly by, jaw clenched tight as Yaga gives you the briefest of details. He’s careful with what he says. You’re not sure if it’s because he doesn’t fully trust Suguru again yet. Or if it’s because Suguru is not assigned to this mission, so the less information he hears, the better–

“I’m going with her.”

Now your head snaps towards Suguru who is already staring down at you with determination in his eyes. Then his gaze is on Yaga’s.

“I’m going with her, if you’ll allow me, Principal Yaga.”

He’s asking, but like Yaga, it’s non-negotiable.

“Suguru…” Your voice is small, too scared to speak up and tell him it’s a bad idea. But you can see in the way he clenches his jaw, the way he balls his hands in fists, how his nostrils flare…he’s pissed.

It’s probably at you, your negligence in accepting the mission knowing that it’s dangerous and you’re with child - his child. But he holds it together, telling Principal Yaga that he’ll meet him in about 20 minutes after he packs his things. He wants to get more information about this mission that was just so important you had to be the one to go. 

When you call after him, he doesn’t spare you a glance, his low voice sending a chill up your spine when he tells you once more, “I’m going.”

[uchi4nlog]

  ׅ      𝅄    𝆬⠀╥╥ will i ever see you again? , soobin.

gn!reader ، wc: 2k ، genre: angst, exes ، tw: f word and talks about death (nothing so deep tho).

note: listen to 'will i ever see you again' for a better reading.

droplets of snowflakes falling in your skin. your bones are shaking. your blood runs cold through your veins. 

“it’s because i still love you choi soobin! fuck, how long do i have to go on pretending i don’t?” an aching sob leaves your throat.

the dark haired man stands in front of you, like a ghost. not moving, not talking back, not screaming at how crazy you must be. nothing.

“you may not have chosen me. you may not love me. but-” your let your head fall. no one single strength left. your heart aches and burns. tears watering the snowed ground. 

everything feels like a fever dream. but not the good one, where your body floats and the air suspenses with white petals and a warming breeze.

this one is brutal. like a knife in your stomach, begging to be pulled out. begging to end your pain.

“did you ever love someone so bad that it feels like you’re dying?” you ask him. “soobin… it hurts. it hurts so much. please… please, let me go.”

your cry intensifies as your knees weaken and touch the ground. all the pain from all of those unslept nights, aching with anxiety, are liberated through tears. 

you can’t quite pinpoint when your feelings towards him flourished again. in your heart, it seems like you have always loved him even after you two parted in different ways. but the day you heard through one of his best friends that he had moved on, was when everything started crumbling. 

why would he keep himself from loving again? your relationship ended nearly 2 years ago. but for you, it seems like it was yesterday when the shy boy showed up with a bouquet, stumbled over his words, and messily told you he loved you. his precious cheeks turning a deep shade of red. his eyes not even daring to see your face, too scared he would get rejected.

but now he’s a man. even taller. voice so deep it makes your whole body vibrate. eyes caring a bit of maturity from adulthood. you, on the other hand, seem stuck in the past. nothing is different. it’s like your life paralyzed on that day, two years ago. 

“why you make me fall in love with you, if you were leaving me?” this question haunts you.

an annoying sounds starts to buzz in your head. you open your eyes.

[6:33 am alarm]

it seems like your alarm has been going on for a whole three minutes. the daylight burning your pupils.

you feel sick. maybe it’s a fever. your throat is dry. your heart beats like it wants to run away from your body.

it was a dream. the same one again. 

two years later and you still have the same dream. or would you call it a nightmare?

you don’t even know about soobin anymore. 

has he moved? is he married now?

you don’t care. you need to end this story. no matter what end it takes. it’s time to let this nightmare go once and for all…

was it even a dream or a prediction of the near future?

★ taglist: @sunoooism @itgirlgyu @mazeinthemoon @run4gyu @besciitos @lunathewritingcat

★ status: requests and taglist currently open! send me an ask or comment to be added.

© gyuletters, 2024 - do not repost, copy, or translate. // first fic of 2024? maybe, i don’t remember it right now lol. anywaysies, after a bit of hiatus and being lost on what to write, finally an inspiration was awakened LMAO. this fic is inspired by the k-dramas i’ve been recently watching (and rewatching). no spoiler, ofc, but i finished gyeongseong’s creature and… let’s just say taesang and chaeok gave me a bit of indirected inspiration for this hihihi. as always, tysm for reading my works. it really does mean a lot to me that even through my hiatus so many people still read my works. i only write them for fun, so it still feels awesome to have someone that, in some way, likes what i do. ily all and i hope love finds it’s way to your life. 🤍

with love, 𝑟.

xoxo.

[oodlyenough]

arcane s2 act 1

alright might as well collect my thoughts for posterity

first and foremost: obviously the triumphant cackle i was doing the entire hexcore scene. huge W for me, personally. did it always feel like the most logical and narratively satisfying extension from s1? sure. do i trust television to do the most narratively satisfying thing? no. especially not after fandom spent years of the hiatus trying to convince me otherwise

really all the jayvik scenes were, more or less, exactly what i expected/wanted and very satisfying lmaooo. i knew jayce wouldn't give a fuck about the shimmer or unethical experiments. i win!

other stuff i liked:

in the hiatus i've now seen all of yellowjackets and it has made me fonder of ella purnell and by extension jinx, lol. i love sevika and i think their grudging alliance in the wake of silco's death is a fun direction. jinx finding a random dumpster baby and adopting them immediately, silco would be so proud lmfao

i love caitlyn's dictator arc. i have to be honest i found her disney princess schtick in s1 pretty boring, so this is finally something more flawed and dynamic for me to invest in. yes girl get worse

ambessa rules. i was a little rolling my eyes at the "wow she was pulling the strings all along" reveal, bc it was so obvious and i was sort of hoping they'd do something more interesting with her. but this show has never been subtle. either way it still seems ambessa believes she's protecting mel? so i AM curious about how that plays out

i don't know shit about the league lore around the black rose stuff and don't want to <3 knowing league lore has never improved my arcane experience. but those sequences were very cool and took me by surprise. some good body horror with elora. good luck in the nightmare labyrinth mel!

stuff i liked less:

i think the stylized music video sequences are being a little overused. maybe s1 did them as frequently and I forget? anyhow, the police brutality one really worked for me, because it's the kind of info that def needs to be montaged, and the style was cool and engaging. cassandra's funeral ... i understand why they did it but i didn't like the regular arcane models mixed with the charcoal bgs, i found it distracted me from what was meant to be the emotion of the moment. and the jinx montage i found kind of mid.

i do think the pacing feels as breakneck as ever, to its detriment. i said above the jayvik stuff all played out basically as i wanted, which is more-or-less true, but viktor just be like I Have To Go Now was a bit abrupt. i can excuse a lot of that on the basis that i don't think viktor is really himself anymore because of the hexcore -- very flat emotionally, etc. and i assume we'll see them butt heads again later in the season. but still, the hextech weapons, the nonconsensual hexcoring, etc, would've expected something a little more explosive lol

plus, then we shift from that scene to the Furby Comedy Hour and jayce and heimerdinger having like a nonreaction to each other despite how acrimoniously they parted or how emotionally charged jayce must be sleeping next to viktor's empty cocoon etc... felt whiplash-y to me. but i hate heimerdinger and ekko teaming up to begin with lmao (and ofc ekko directs his frustrations with piltover to jayce, and not the 300 year president furby he has no beef with for some reason)

this extends to vi's decision to pick up the badge, etc. stuff just happens really quick and the fact that the passage of time in the show isn't very clear doesn't really help. i can understand why riot didn't want to spend two decades making five seasons of this show, but 2 seasons will probably feel too short imo.

[entishramblings]

The Innocence of Brutality Pt. 7 [Legolas/F!Reader]

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6

A.N: hey my preciouses. so im back from my hiatus with some pain and suffering for you all. this part was very hard to write as this story is a 10th walker. lol i struggle to follow an already created plot and not get bored writing—and that’s why I gotta add some twists and funky ass kicking Rámaitë Mahtar lore heh. anywaysss...enjoy!

Request: none

Pairing: Legolas X Fem!Reader

Summary: The Reader is Rámaitë Mahtar, a warrior spirit race, and she meets the fellowship on their quest to destroy the ring.  

Disclaimer: Any mythology relating to the Rámaitë Mahtar is not canon as I made up Rámaitë Mahtar. Also, all elvish was translated from a translator site—it may not be accurate.

Word Count: 6.5k (i know I'm sorry i am a menace) 

Warnings: nudity (not sex), mentions of war, mentions of torture, violence, fluff, hurt/comfort, beard abuse (sorry gimli)

MASTERLIST | AO3 | WATTPAD | The Innocence of Brutality Masterlist | HERE for OC format

The fellowship and the Rámaite Mahtar spent hours upon hours enduring the biting lash of the snow's frigid touch and the piercing wail of the wind. The Pass of Caradhras fought against them, hard and strong. Relentless it was; as if the mountain itself was pained by their footsteps, doing all it could to shake them off and consign them to a frozen grave. Though they soon discovered that the mountain was not alone in pursuing their downfall.

Legolas frowned, squinting past the snowflakes that landed upon his lashes. It was hard to focus on anything but navigating through the blowing blizzard, for if he wavered his calculations, he and the fellowship would surely fall to their deaths. Yet still, something tugged at his mind, begging him to recognize its warning. The elf, determined to unravel what it was, let his senses settle into the air around him, absorbing all he could. That is when he heard it—a resonant voice murmuring curses into the wintry air.

The elven prince spun on his heel—so fast that he startled the dwarf behind him. Now facing the rest of his company, he cried out his cautionary statement. “Someone is aiding the storm. There is a fell voice upon the air.”

Gandalf met his eye, and only one word passed the wizard’s slips. “Saruman.”

(Y/N) turned to Legolas. Over the wind, she yelled her question to him. “Who is this man of saru?”

However, before any method of how he could even begin to articulate such a person even entered his mind, Aragorn and Boromir tones sprung into the air. Their voices grew insistent, advocating to return the way they came, only for Gandalf to fiercely argue against it.

“Legolas,” (Y/N) addressed again, not paying mind to the serious conversation behind her. “Who is this man of saru?”

“(Y/N),” he started. However, he was interrupted by a deep murmur that reverberated through the mountain’s core. That was the only warning the fellowship received. Seconds later, heavy clumps of snow came thundering down from the slopes above them. Legolas’ unfinished words were swept away by the mountain's rampage, lost amidst the chaotic dance of falling powder.

“Get back!” was briefly heard as Aragorn pressed his body against the side of the mountain. He attempted to take Frodo and Sam with him through a failed outreached hand grasping upon nothingness. 

The Rámaite Mahtar’s eyes followed the motion, her instincts kicking in. 

Her wings snapped open, tearing through the fabric and leather armor that clothed her. They extended outwards, providing a canopy over the four hobbits, just as the avalanche was to bury them. 

(Y/N) grit her teeth, her form shaking slightly as the pressure hit. 

Silent the hobbits were, no sound leaving their normally chatty lips, as the onslaught of snow railed upon (Y/N). Only awe was present upon their expressions as those four pairs of big, worried eyes looked up at her stern face. 

The Rámaite Mahtar, however, took no notice to their concern. She held steady until no further weight was forced upon her wings.

Slowly, she lifted her head up—proud and strong—and her wings following suit. She shook them off. The snow she had caught tumbled from her feathery masses. It skipped off the edge of the mountain, leaving its longtime home.

Legolas emerged from beneath the snow rather quickly. A single glimpse of (Y/N)'s outstretched wings and the visible hobbits revealed to him what she had done. Knowing they were out of harm's way, he wasted no time in digging through the snow to unearth his other companions.

As the first hand broke the surface, Legolas seized hold of it and yanked. Spluttering, up came Aragorn. The two didn't need to speak to know what else needed to be done. They instantly began to sweep away the glistening snowflakes that continued to conceal their comrades. They hoped to retrieve them—one by one—from their frozen confinement. 

(Y/N), seemingly deeming the two men competent enough to handle the task, moved closer to the hobbits. She patted Frodo’s head as she looked between the four of them. “Safe, safe, yes?” 

Their responses consisted of small nods and drifting gazes, their minds still in shock.

Boromir and Gandalf soon emerged, though one member of their company was still not yet found.

“Gimli! Where is Gimli?” Legolas called out desperately.

(Y/N) furrowed her brows as her gaze scanned the snowy landscape. Meanwhile, the rest of the fellowship frantically dug, their efforts driven by urgency. (Y/N) took a few steps forward, her expression determined.

Suddenly, she began stomping in various spots on the fluffy snow bed.

Her companions, including Legolas, exchanged puzzled glances, unable to comprehend her actions. However, their confusion quickly dissipated when a muffled war cry echoed from beneath her feet. Without hesitation, (Y/N) plunged her hand deep into the snow and pulled hard. Emerging from the white depths, beard first, came Gimli, hollering and gasping for air.

Sighs of relief exited many lips before the arguing between the navigators started once again. 

(Y/N) looked between them, watching, observing, trying and failing to understand the gravity of the situation. Though it seemed it wasn't really up to her to have to understand. The decision got passed down to Frodo and the small hobbit picked their dwarven friend’s option: The Mines of Moria. 

Therefore, they wearily trudged down the mountain, their souls burdened and their bodies fatigued. (Y/N)'s wings guarded the hobbits, shielding them from the biting winds until they finally arrived before the sealed doors of the dwarven kingdom. And there they remained, seated in patient anticipation—for hours on end.

In the stillness, only the soft murmurs of Gandalf's whispered words and hushed conversations drifted among the fellowship, creating an atmosphere of quiet suspense. 

Legolas perched beside Y/N, holding her leather armor layer in one hand and a sharp knife in the other. He was carefully carving the ripped section into a smoother line, ensuring easy exposure of her wings. Given their current lifestyle, he presumed it was crucial for her to retract and unveil her deadliest weapon effortlessly. Besides, they lacked the time and resources to stop in a town again, and even if they did, they wouldn't find suitable clothing to accommodate her unique form. The Rámaite Mahtar were not supposed to exist—not in this world at this time. She was an exception. She was a phenomenon. She was a secret—one that could get them all killed. 

“Legolas,” (Y/N) stated. “Who is this man of saru?”

The elf briefly glanced up at her as he continued to work. This was the third time he was asked this question by her, and he knew she would ask it again if it was left unanswered. She was persistent like that. He cleared his throat. “Do you remember how we told you that there were some who intended to harm us and the people of this world?”

She nodded.

“Well,” he continued. “Saruman is one of them. He is aiding and orchestrating armies for Sauron.”

“Sauron?” (Y/N) questioned.

Legolas sighed, placing the leather down as he focused on (Y/N). He knew he would have to give her all his attention for this conversation. It wasn't one that you could have so casually. “Sauron is consumed by an insatiable thirst for power. He wants to enslave its people, create an empire of pain and suffering, and burn it down to ash and bone.” 

“Why?” she asked, so innocently. 

 “(Y/N),” he stated softly, gazing into those goddamn brilliant, concerned, (e/c) eyes of hers. “Sauron…Sauron was a servant of Morgoth.”

The Rámaite Mahtar's lips parted, releasing a hushed gasp that was woven with fear and disbelief. 

Legolas watched as these emotions shattered her soul and wreaked havoc in her heart. Her brows furrowed, her lips contorted, her gaze wandered, and her eyelids fluttered. Processing. That is what she was doing—absorbing the shock and dissecting its meaning. 

“(Y/N),” he whispered, reaching for her hand. “(Y/N), Morgoth will not come here. He cannot come to this plane. The Valar would never permit it.”

She shook her head, pulling away from him. “Yes, he would. For me, he would. For me, they would let him.”

“(Y/N),” he said again, desperately.

She stood, shaking her head, her voice rising slightly. “You do not understand!!!”

Legolas, sensing her distress escalating, abandoned his seat and moved to stand with her. Gently, he took both her hands in his own. “(Y/N), help me understand.” He peered down into her wild eyes, searching for an answer. “Please, help me understand. I am here. I am listening.”

She glanced down at the ground below her feet, taking in a deep breath as she tried to gather herself—to regulate her emotions, Legolas perceived.

After a moment, she looked back to him. Her voice was quiet as she spoke. “I—I did things. B–before. When I was here long ago.”

The Prince nodded his head in encouragement. 

She shut her eyes and withdrew her hands from his hold, letting her arms wrap around herself in what appeared to be a self-soothing state. “T–terrible things.” (Y/N) focused her gaze back onto Legolas. “They–they wanted it empty of some of the stuff they put in it.”

“What do you mean?” he inquired softly, his confusion deepening. “What did they want empty?”

(Y/N) frowned, her expression twitching as she tried to pick out the correct word to use. “The–the world.” She paused, just for a moment. “So, we emptied it. But–but we did not understand. I did not understand. There were peoples there.” As her words flowed on, she delicately extended her hand and brushed her fingertips against his ear. He fought the urge to flinch at the contact, but he did not stop her. Knowing how sincere and vulnerable she was in that moment, he wanted her to continue her truth. He didn't desire to give her any reason at all to halt her words. “Peoples like—like you, but not like you. Different.” She furthered, her hand then slid along the curve of his elvish ear until it was nothing but a ghost. (Y/N) looked down once again. “They screamed and cried, but we did not know, so we did not stop.”

“(Y/N),” he whispered, cupping her cheek and forcing her to look at him. “It was not your fault. The Valar did not teach you. They did not teach you of right and wrong.”

Her eyes squeezed shut, a tear escaping them. “It was my fault. I was the leader.”

Legolas’ thumb gently wiped away the water that ran down her cheek. “But you did not know, my starlight. You did not know.”

A quiet sob escaped her chest as she tried to look away from him. Though he would not let her. He would not let her suffer this guilt alone. Legolas pulled her form into his own. He enveloped her in his embrace, encircling his arm around her waist, while his other hand cradled the back of her head.

Instantly, she responded to this affection. Her hands—those small, deadly hands that had annihilated so many people—grasped onto his tunic, yanking at the threads. The ethereal glow of her wings enveloped him as well, as if just her arms were not enough to hug him back. And the pressure of her body against his was firm, almost urging him to anchor himself in case he lost balance. In that moment, with her face nestled against his chest, she sought solace and refuge in his embrace.

Softly, he pressed a kiss to her head as his hand moved in slow, soothing circles on her back.

Legolas knew the rest of the fellowship was trying, and failing, not to stare, but he did not care. This—this was important. This realization. This moment. This needed to happen. It represented her growth in the most pure and genuine way. 

The embrace, however, was disturbed by the sound of a gentle plop that resonated in the air like a soft melody—though one very much out of place. One after another, the droplets of sound caressed their ears, intruding upon the intimate moment they shared. However, Aragorn’s chidding tone unintentionally attempted to give it back to them as he ordered Merry and Pippin to halt their actions.

Still, (Y/N) turned to look at the rippling of the water, watching as it moved with little rifts and smooth slides. The Rámaite Mahtar tilted her head, ignoring Frodo’s voice pipping up with a question regarding the door’s riddle. It wasn't directed at her anyways. She took a step closer to the water, and another, and another—until the sound of loud stone shifting claimed her and her companion’s attention.

The group gathered their belongings, (Y/N) folding in her wings and pulling the altered leather armor upon her form, before they flowed through the now opened doors. As they listened to Gimli rave of his cousins’ hospitality, they filed in. However, hospitality did not greet them. Nothing did. There were no torches. There were no cheers. There were no dwarven faces. Simply put: not a trace of life offered them a welcome and naught but dread stirred in their presence. As darkness wrapped around them, Gandalf lit his staff. That glow began to reflect light, allowing the fellowship to bear witness to the truth.

“This–this is no mine.” Boromir began, horror upon his tone. “It’s a tomb!”

Immediately, Gimli’s loud cries of despair echoed throughout the vast walls and the hobbits’ heavy breathing followed. 

“We should never have come here. We must make for the Gap of Rohan!” Boromir exclaimed. 

Rash shuffling from each member of the group followed as they began scrambling from the hallway of bones. Those bones, however, were immediately replaced by a new threat—one of tentacles and slime.

Before they even could escape the tomb, Frodo was clawing at the ground, his anguished cries for help piercing the air. The other hobbits urgently grasped his arms, straining with all their might to free him from the vile creature coiling around his legs. Yet his friends were only so strong. The creature drug the poor hobbit to the lake, flinging him through the air like a mere plaything. 

Instantly, the fellowship, with weapons raised, were scrambling after him.

Though, the one that was the fastest was (Y/N). Her wings extended from her form, not breaking the newly crafted adjustments to her leather. With one strong push, she was in the air and weaving through the tentacles. 

“By the Valar,” Aragorn whispered.

At his tone, Legolas’ gaze flickered from his aimed arrow and to his friend’s line of sight above the beast of the lake. Immediately, the elf’s lips parted in astonishment. Even after the months that they had known the Rámaite Mahtar, they had yet to see her fly. They had seen those beautiful wings act as blades, blankets, and canopies, but they hadn't seen them act for their intended purpose. They hadn't seen them serve as instruments of the wind. Legolas could not help but let his bow falter as he stared. 

“She’s….she’s beautiful,” Legolas whispered. 

Aragorn, his own shock subsiding, grabbed the elf’s arm and hissed a panicked order at him. “Legolas, cast aside your admiration and put an end to that vile beast!”

“Right, right,” he mumbled, drawing his arrow once again.

Aragorn ran into the water, slicing at the tentacles in desperate hope to free Frodo—and prevent his own capture. 

(Y/N) maintained a relentless attack from above, using her wings as weapons to sever the slimy limbs impeding her path towards Frodo. With remarkable speed and precision, each stroke of her wings propelled her closer to the young hobbit, the distance shrinking inch by inch. However, just as she was closing in, the beast sent two tentacles her way. She spun quickly, her wings slicing them both, but it was the third to the back that she did not anticipate. It smacked against her shoulder blades, hard. Her body was launched backwards as if she was nothing but a gnat being batted away. The blow held such vigorous force that she crashed into the side of the mountain and tumbled with broken rock. Everything crumbled until she too joined the dust upon the ground.

Legolas, with fearful eyes, screamed her name. She did not answer.

The Prince continued firing arrow after arrow as he moved backwards towards the broken Rámaite Mahtar. Each forceful strike diverted the creature's attention. This distraction allowed Aragorn to slice the tentacle constricting Frodo, while Boromir swiftly caught him.

“Go, go, go!” Aragorn yelled, pushing Boromir and Frodo back onto the land. “Into the mines!”

The group darted through the entrance, Legolas scooping (Y/N) up into his arms as he did so. 

The lake’s guardian tried to pursue them, its battered limbs slamming against the rugged mountain surface. However, in doing so, the squid-like creature lost its meal. In its desperate attempt to give chase, the fellowship’s fate was sealed. The attack caused the rocks to tremble and shudder. So much so, that the entrance to the passage crumbled and collapsed—entombing the alive with the dead.

Thick dust now drifted through the air, melding with the sounds of adrenalized breath and pounding hearts. They stood still as Gandalf lit his staff once more.

“We have now but one choice,” the wizard started as he began walking deeper into the mine. “We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world.”

“Mithrandir, wait.” Legolas called out, almost desperately. 

All eyes shifted, only to be surprised to see the Rámaite Mahtar cradled in his arms. Before, she had appeared to be invincible. From the first day they encountered her, when she lifted the strongest member of the fellowship by the throat and nearly killed him, they had thought she was unstoppable. This belief was further reinforced as they witnessed her relentless prowess in battle. She ruthlessly obliterated a pack of orcs like it was nothing. She had annihilated them with sheer force that made even the elves look weak. A glimmer of possibility was instilled in them. Maybe their quest was not destined to fail after all? She was their hope. And now? Now that hope was a slumped, unmoving, bleeding form. 

“(Y/N)?” Pippin whispered, his voice so quiet, so small. 

“Is–is she alive?” Merry added, his tone mirroring his closest friend’s.

Legolas did not answer them as he gently laid her body onto the ground, kneeling next to her. With frantic lips murmuring a prayer in Sindarin, he reached to hold her face. Almost instantly, the Prince’s shaking hands were painted in her red blood. He tried to not focus on it as his nimble fingers found her carotid artery. He couldn't afford to think that she could be dead. Not now. Not ever. 

The air was quiet and full of anxiety as they awaited his words—ones that would either break or heal their hearts. 

“She’s alive.” 

Sighs of relief left many’s lips, though Legolas did not hear one exit the wizard’s. 

“I must treat her wounds.”

Gandalf huffed. “We cannot linger here.”

“Mithrandir!” Legolas called out, appalled. “She cannot be left to bleed—”

“Legolas, îdh, listo. (Legolas, calm, please.)” Aragorn stated, raising his hand. He then turned to the wizard. “Gandalf, Legolas is right. Without medical attention she could die. I understand you do not trust her yet, but she has saved our lives many times over. We need her.” He paused, nodding to the hobbits. “They need her.” 

He huffed but dipped his head in agreement. He couldn't argue with that logic. “Ten minutes.”

Legolas was quick to pull his medical bag from his shoulder and began digging for supplies. 

“Legolas, man  tur- im ceri? (Legolas, what can I do?)” Aragorn stated as he knelt beside him. 

The Prince passed him a small pouch as well as a mortar and pestle. “Mol hi into a sirith ir im heneb hen. (Grind this into a paste while I examine her.)”

Aragorn nodded, beginning the assigned task. 

Legolas lifted her head, feeling the back of it, before speaking in the common tongue for the others to understand. “Swelling, but no blood from this blow. Seems it just knocked her out.” He twisted her face to see the bleeding cut above her brow. “This cut is pretty deep. I will need to stitch it so the skin mends properly.” 

“Despite her ability to heal quickly? Cuts like this usually are gone within a day or so for her, correct?” 

“Yes, but the flow is heavy and with the risk of infection—especially with all the grime in here…..” Legolas let his sentence trail off. 

“Master elf,” Samwise interrupted softly. “Is there anything I can do?” 

The Prince looked up at him. A gentle smile crossed his face for he knew of (Y/N)’s relationship with the hobbits. He knew how much she cared for them and they her. “Sam, if you could get Gandalf’s staff, maybe provide us with some better light?”

The hobbit nodded and quickly scurried off. Legolas could hear the soft conversation between the grumpy wizard and the innocent hobbit, though he was too focused on (Y/N) to pay attention. Regardless, Gandalf must have given in, for the hobbit returned seconds later with the light. 

“Sam, hold it over here. I must check her wings.”

The light cascaded brightly above them, its luminosity filtering across the brilliant wings. The feathers absorbed and reflected those subtle colors, shining them back upon the three men. If the scene wasn't encased in blood and emotional turmoil, it would have been a radiant spectacle. But now, the once alluring silk-like texture bore the marks of horror—marks none would want to see freely.

“There does not appear to be any significant damage. Most of the blood is from the head wound or superficial cuts.” Legolas stated. “It looks worse than it really is.”

“But–but then why isn't she waking up?” Pippin inquired with unease.

Legolas did not answer, for he didn't have a reason to give the hobbit. Instead, he returned to the wound upon her brow. “Pass me that needle and threat.” 

Soon enough, the Rámaite Mahtar’s cut was sealed and the blood upon her face was wiped clean. If they had not known of the events that had transpired, maybe she would have looked like she was sleeping peacefully. That, however, much to their dismay, was not the case.

Boromir, seeing (Y/N)'s treatment completed, spoke again. “We can take shifts carrying her.”

Legolas clenched his jaw, refusing to look at the Gondorian, as he gathered the winged warrior into his arms. “When her wings are exposed, it adds at least a hundred pounds to her weight. Without elven strength, you wouldn’t be able to carry her for long.” 

Boromir scoffed lightly and sent a look at the elf. 

Legolas wanted to snap back with another snarky reply, but he knew it would do no good. Hell, his previous comment was uncalled for—and he knew it. Boromir was a good, honorable man at heart. Legolas knew he would never do anything to harm (Y/N). The Gondorian respected her—as a woman, warrior, and friend. Besides, at this point, it was quite apparent that the Prince and Rámaite Mahtar’s souls were bound. So, Legolas kept his mouth shut as he pushed past Boromir and towards the front of the group. 

Aragorn walked up beside the Gondorian. He gently patted the man’s shoulder. “Don’t take it personally. Elves tend to get quite possessive over their lovers, especially under dire circumstances.” The Ranger then chuckled. “Not one of their finer traits.” 

Boromir snorted lightly in amusement, now not taking Legolas’ behavior to heart. “Indeed,” was his simple reply. 

Time seemed to stretch endlessly as they continued their journey along the paths of the old dwarven corridors. The fellowship found themselves halted at a crossroads, a convergence of three diverging paths, where Gandalf stood at the forefront, evaluating which direction to proceed with. 

Legolas settled himself on the ground, leaning his back against the cool stone surface. Keeping (Y/N) in his lap, he gently adjusted her position, allowing her head to rest upon his chest and shoulder, her face nestled against the curve of his neck. Finding a moment of reprieve, he let out a soft sigh and pressed his head against the wall behind him, shutting his eyes. With a soothing touch, he traced gentle strokes along the Rámaite Mahtar's cheek, passing the time with rest.

It felt like only minutes, even though he knew it was hours, when Gandalf called for them to follow. Legolas begrudgingly stood with (Y/N) in his arms.

“Legolas,” Aragorn’s voice softly sounded beside him. “Let me take her.”

The elf turned to face his friend. “It’s alright. I’ve got her.” 

The Ranger shook his head. “You must keep some strength if we are to make it through this mine. Exhaustion will do you no good. I will watch over her, even if it’s just for a little while.”

Legolas exhaled slowly but dipped his head in agreement. He knew Aragorn was right. As an elf, he had senses that would allow him to slay twice as many servants of darkness. If they were to come across any enemies, they would need him—especially with their strongest weapon now unconscious. Therefore, he passed (Y/N) to Aragorn.

The Ranger was careful as he took her into his arms, her wings hanging limp around him and brushing upon the dusty floor. “Valar—“ he mumbled. “You weren’t kidding about her weight.” 

Legolas smirked lightly. “If she is too heavy, I can take her back.”

The Ranger grunted. “No, no. I’m fine.” 

The elf raised his brows but followed the others.

Legolas kept an eye on Aragorn and (Y/N) as they moved. Though it wasn't out of distrust or jealousy, it was out of concern. He could sense, as the minutes passed and as the terrain roughened, the Ranger began to tire. However, it seemed he was not the only one who could tell. 

Boromir approached Aragorn. “You look like you could use a break. I will carry her.” 

Aragorn let out a low—and slightly strained—laugh. “Are you certain? Legolas wasn’t mistaken about her weight.” 

The Gondorian bobbed his head. “I hardly believe she is that much to bear.” 

“Suit yourself,” the Ranger replied as he passed the winged warrior to the other man. 

“By the Creator….” Boromir immediately gruffed out. 

Now it was Aragorn’s turn to tease. “I warned you.” 

“That you did,” the Gondorian grunted. He then nodded ahead. “We don’t want to get left behind. Let’s keep moving.” 

However, it wasn’t long before Boromir approached Legolas. “I won’t ever doubt the strength of you and your people again,” he expressed, accompanied by a warm smile. “Are you able to carry your girl again?” 

Legolas nodded, guilt flickering in his heart for his previous rude demeanor towards the man. “Yes. Thank you, Boromir. I appreciate your help.”

The Gondorian nodded in understanding before he passed (Y/N) back towards the elf. 

…..

As the days passed, (Y/N) still hadn’t woken, which proved to be worrisome. The wound upon her forehead had healed, leaving only a light scar that Legolas knew would disappear in a couple days. The swelling upon the back of her head vanished as well, providing even more confusion to her still unconscious state. She would stir here and there, but never did those curious, (e/c) eyes open. If she had survived a fall from the Valar’s incarceration, why was she remaining unconscious from a strike of the lake’s beast?

Still, they could not wait on her to wake. They had to push further. So, the fellowship continued to pass through Moria in secret, observing the dwarven wonders as they did so. However, it was ignorant to hope that that secrecy would last—and as soon as the corpse of an old dwarf tumbled down that well, they knew they were discovered. 

It all happened so fast. 

Legolas barely had time to place (Y/N)’s form down against Balin’s tomb before the doors were splintering, revealing orc faces dripping with evil desire. 

However, at the first clank of a sword, there came at least one good act.

A large gasp, loud and alarm-filled, struck the air. The Rámaite Mahtar jolted upright. In an instant, her wings snapped back to life, shedding their previously limp state, and surged outward with lethal swiftness. As they unfurled, they decapitated three nearby orcs.

Legolas could only manage to call out her name in relief before he too was consumed by the battle. 

With (Y/N) ripping the vile creatures into pieces, even faster than the elf, the fellowship had thought they had a chance. Well, that was until one sentence left the Gondorian’s lips.

“They have a fucking cave troll.” 

From then on, it was a blur. Each member of the group was fighting for their lives—including the hobbits. Though all their hearts stopped when Frodo called out in pain and crumbled to the ground. Shrieks of fear left every member’s lips as Aragorn desperately rushed to his body. Those heartaching cries, however, quieted when Frodo’s small voice sang out clearly. “It’s alright. I’m not hurt.” 

Then they were running again, and again, and again. 

The immense chamber teemed with a horde of orcs, swarming across every surface—the ground, walls, and ceiling. So much so, that the members of the quest were encircled by them, barely having room to breathe. A sort of stalemate settled in, both sides waiting for the other to make the first move.

(Y/N)’s wings twitched as she rotated, readying herself.

Though a fight did not come—not from the thousands of revolting beings. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

Each member of the fellowship spun and turned at that sound. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

The orcs faltered and swiveled their heads. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

Panic then erupted. The grotesque creatures scrambled to flee. They shoved and pushed one and other as their gangly forms scurried away—back to the hellhole that they came from. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

“What is this new devilry?” Boromir whispered. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

Gandalf sucked in a deep breath. “A balrog of Morgoth.”

(Y/N)’s heart froze. 

“A demon of the ancient world,” Gandalf continued. “This foe is beyond any of you. RUN!”

It was here that the fellowship mimicked the goblins—though with more care for one another. They took off down the vast hallway as they made for the Bridge of Khazad Dum. Their legs moved quicker than they ever would have thought possible—stopping only when there was a gap in a path above the fiery abyss.

Legolas was the first to leap across, his nimble form making it appear easy. Gandalf was the next to make the jump. Merry and Pippin were to follow with Boromir; however, they were halted as arrows shot at their feet—just nearly missing. 

(Y/N) whipped her head around, just in time to see another projectile whizzing straight towards Boromir. 

The Rámaite Mahtar was quick to lift her wing in front of him. The fine tip pierced her instantly, causing a deep grunt of pain to exit her lips. The arrow went through the feathery flesh, but halted as it got stuck in tight muscle—only inches away from Boromir’s forehead. 

The Gondorian’s wide eyes shifted to her—in thanks, in shock, in guilt. 

Legolas quickly turned and fired his bow, taking out the archer. 

“Go!” (Y/N) shouted as she lowered her wing. 

With that, Boromir grabbed Merry and Pippin and leaped onto the other side. His feet landed just before the section they had previously stood on collapsed. 

(Y/N) was next. She lifted her wings slightly, despite the pain, to give herself more of a drift. As she landed she shuffled close to Merry and Pippin and ripped the arrow from her wing with a groan.

As Legolas caught Sam and then Gimli—by the beard—another arrow whizzed past the hobbits’ head. 

Once again, the Rámaite Mahtar shielded them—earning two more arrows in the wing. 

By the time Frodo and Aragorn finagled their way across the ever growing gap, the Balrog was upon them. 

The fellowship were fleeing as fast as they possibly could. A few brave souls dared to steal a glance behind, their hearts pounding in their chests. Among them was Frodo, and as his eyes locked onto the fiery menace descending upon Gandalf, a cry of terror escaped his lips. The collective gaze of the group shifted at that, now drawn to the scene unfolding before them. They then bore witness.

The wizard stood strong. His deep voice, full of power and protection, echoed through the cavern. “You cannot pass.” 

The Balrog attacked. Gandalf defended. 

“I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. Go back to the Shadow!”

Once again, the Balrog attacked. Gandalf defended. 

The wizard brought his sword and staff crashing down upon the bridge, a resounding boom echoing through the air. His voice then thundered, filled with unwavering determination. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Those words seemed to reverberate through the chamber, carrying the weight of his command across the stone. In that moment, he stood as a barrier, defying the very force that sought to destroy them and their mission.

The bridge began to crumble. Piece by piece, the stone began to fall, taking the Balrog with it. 

Gandalf inhaled deeply. 

It was done. 

The whip, however, lashed out one final time. With a swift motion, it coiled around the wizard's ankle, forcefully pulling him off his feet. In a fleeting moment, he was airborne, his body suspended before gravity claimed its prize. Gandalf’s hands flailed, desperately reaching out for anything to anchor him to the bridge's edge. His fingers found the stone and his nails dug in. Though, he knew he had no chance. He wished only to leave a message for the one who looked up to him the most.

Frodo cried out once again, lunging for his mentor and friend.

Boromir, however, wrapped a strong arm around him and held him back. 

The little hobbit, sobbing, held eye contact with the wizard. 

“Fly you fools,” Gandalf whispered. 

Then, he too, was gone. 

Frodo screamed, his cry intertwining with that of his fellow hobbits, creating a symphony of despair that echoed through the burning darkness.

However, they weren’t the only ones to have a profound reaction.

Surprisingly, (Y/N) rushed forward. She sprinted down the bridge, her legs carrying her fast, but she wasn’t fast enough. Legolas anticipated what she was going to do. He saw how her strides stretched wide and how her wings extended. She was gonna jump. Reacting swiftly, he took off after her. His paces were wider and his speed was quick. Just as she was about to push herself into the air, Legolas grabbed onto her waist and yanked her backward. The unstable bridge trembled under the sudden motion, threatening to give way, but the elf maintained his balance and steadied the winged woman in his grasp.

“LEGOLAS!” she snapped in fierce anger. Her threatening gaze—one that he had only seen directed towards enemies—poured into him, almost incinerating his soul. 

“IT’S TOO LATE!” He barked back, ignoring the startlement that just flushed his veins and choosing to focus on the bridge crumbling beneath their feet. “RUN!” 

With that he tugged her in the opposite direction, following the remaining members of the fellowship. 

When they burst from the mines, their souls shattered like fragile glass. The hobbits collapsed upon the stony ground, their tears flowing freely, their sorrow reverberating through their chests. Agonized grimaces etched themselves onto the faces of Gimli and Boromir. Aragorn tried his best to conceal his pain, though his grey eyes betrayed him with hidden turmoil. And Legolas? He stood motionless, disbelief written across his face.

(Y/N), however, snapped him out of it. She pushed her palms against his chest, hard. “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?”

He twisted to look at her. “What?”

“Why did you stop me?!” The Rámaite Mahtar quipped back aggressively. She grasped onto the two arrows still embedded in her wing. She yanked them out. “I COULD HAVE SAVED HIM!” 

Legolas shook his head, his tone calm and full of despair. “No, (Y/N). No, you could not.”

Her hands ran through her hair, frantically and angrily, the strands tangled and pulled on as she sought release from the overwhelming emotions rippling through her blood. A frustrated scream escaped her lips—a raw manifestation of these turbulent feelings surging. With a sudden burst, she spun back around, facing him with eyes ablaze. “I have killed one of those–those balrogs!” She took an enraged step towards him. “My legion and I bleed one dry of its fire! And you—”

Legolas interrupted her, his tone now picking up. “And I stopped you from killing yourself! You and your legion—”

“Legolas!—”

He grabbed onto her shoulders as his next words raced across the stones, silencing the area from all but tears. “YOUR LEGION ISN'T HERE!” 

The wind skipped through the leaves of the trees, uneasy at the elf’s sudden tone. It blew gently upon the despairing people, begging to kiss their skin with some kind of hope, but only succeeding in tearing their hearts further. Still, it continued its melancholic dance. Seemingly carrying the weight of their shattered souls with its whispering of sorrowful melodies. 

Nature itself mourned alongside (Y/N) as she stared, bewildered, at Legolas. 

The Prince closed his eyes and lowered his head. He inhaled deeply, regretting his tone. After a moment, now returned to his normal steady and calm temperament, he gazed into her eyes and spoke again. “(Y/N), your legion is not here and they will remain absent. They were not present to help you defeat this Balrog and they will not come to help you fight others. They are imprisoned, beyond your reach. They won't escape as you did—not now, not after you have. The chains will have been fortified and the gates sealed with blood. You are the sole Rámaite Mahtar that will ever step on these lands.” He paused, his tone now a whisper. “You are alone.”

(Y/N)’s expression distorted. Her brows crinkled, her lips quivered, her eyes watered, and her form shook. Emotions whipped through her blood, boiling and freezing in the pain of realization and acceptance. She supposed a part of her had thought that her race would eventually return with her—join her in learning this plane. Though now that that secret hope was exposed and disproven, there was nothing else to be said. The truth stood liberated from the web of self-created falsehoods that had previously concealed it.

“(Y/N),” Legolas whispered, realizing the dream he had just shattered. 

And that was all it took. 

A loud sob escaped her throat and tears pooled down her face. She flung her form into his arms and cried.

She cried and she cried—as loudly as the hobbits. 

And Legolas held her. He rocked her back and forth as he smoothed her hair, desperately trying to keep her safe from the pain, though he knew it was too late. He pressed a kiss to her head as he whispered into her ear. “Though you may be alone among your kind, I will forever be by your side.”

…..

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6

Everything Tag: @sokkasdarling @scxundress @quilledinkpen @hufflepuffinblr @lea----b @aredhel-of-gondolin @princecami @the-fandoms-georgie @jazziwritestolkienprimary @swimming-in-stardust @elvish-sky @red-riding @brun-lieve @idiotic-canadian @hey-its-nonny @angelxnaa @bisexualdragongirl @mirclealignr @edensgarnden @elizabeth-anya-knight @sydney-1209 @laneynoir @straysugzhpe @runningfeather @awarwithinitself @finallyforgotten @kaiawrites @commanderawkward @xxbluestrifexx @slytherinambitious @redbirdbluebird333-blog @angelgracesworldofchaos @desert-fern @hellsitegivemeafreeusername @galadaelin @glorfindelofgondolin @skairipakomtrikru @genderfluid-anime-goth @skairipakomtrikru

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The Innocence of Brutality: @byshaunajoy @carojasmin2204 @therealscarletpumpernickel @noodlenerd101

if your tag is not hot/clickable bad you want to remain on the taglist, please message me. Next time I will be removing the ones that don’t work :)

ADD YOURSELF TO MY TAGLIST(S)

[brandwhorestarscream]

On this post

When Megatron tells Tarn the clusterfrag with Pharma is something he would have expectied out of Misfire not him, Tarn kinda dies inside. A lot. Saddest, most pathetic Tank. Pure existential dispair.

Tarn is being keptt on a short leash. The DJD is on hiatus, and basicly only sent out by Megatron's express orders against specific targers. Cause Tarn cant be trusted to have sense. IDW Megatron being the manipulative bastard he is has Tarn utterly convinced he should be greatful for being given the opertunity to continue to serve. They are kept close to Megatron but kept in idle. The List is being revisited and slashed. Anyone added by Tarn or below a certian rank is taken off of it. (Not that this is known outside of Megatron, Soundwave, and the DJD.) Pharma is so confused by the Airforce. He's a jet but he was raised and socialized as a medic. Either he doesn't have as many of the protocals or they're supressed underthe medical ones. He's clearly a prisoner but he's ensconsed in a spare officers bunk in the air baracks. His quarters are guarded but under supervision he and the bitty are alowed into the airforce's common area. Some of the most terrifying mecha with well earned reputations for casual cruelty and brutality are absolutly entranced and charmed by his bitty. The whole command trine for example. Pharma's damn well aware under more normal circumstances he'd either be torn apart in battle or taken prisoner for hostage exchange or to work for them under threat of death. The thing that had Pharma mentaly thrown through the biggest loop is accedently overhearing Skywarp whispering to his baby that they're gona win for the bitty. "We're gonna win for you, so you don't have to be stupid lucky like your carrier or stupid smart and sneaky like Star to be alowed to go to university and you'll be allowed to study what ever the heck you want. Or be an artist or pick your own trade cause you want to."

Akshdjaka oh Skywarp 🥺 he's such a sweetie. Pharma is so confused lol. Bitty is extremely popular and everyone is constantly slipping them treats and bending over backwards fo make the sparkling giggle. Baby laughter is extremely good for morale, who knew?

[elizabethh1125]

{Take it off} König x (GN) reader~

Hey guys! It’s honestly been way too long. Firstly, I want to apologize for taking such a long hiatus. Many things in my life have changed to be honest.

My age, my interests, my personal life, my job, my health and so my writing style unsurprisingly has also gone through a transformation of itself. Looking back on my old works I honestly cannot say I have read more than about three sentences before I can’t stand to look any more. It’s just so BAD. Not saying that my new shit is much better, but it’s a slow and steady uphill battle. But for some of my more consistent followers you might have also noticed the change of theme on my page. I will no longer just be catering to the community of five nights at Freddy’s. And I apologize to the folks who only stay on my page for that type of content but honestly, if I only made that type of content, I wouldn’t post here anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still love five nights at Freddy’s and will be writing more content of that eventually (I’m sure if it lol.) but it’s just not my main focus at the moment I’m sure so for now I really want to branch out to some more games/characters that I’m enjoying in the moment so you guys get more variety and so can get some more people on my page who can enjoy my work.

For this first newer post I decided to take it easy since I haven’t really written anything for a while. And I feel like the longer fics that I write are the last motivation I have to finish. So another change will be that my fix will probably be shorter one shots/ two or three parts instead of a whole series. I may also end up doing a lot of headcannons or imagines to help with writer's block.

Cod MW/MW2 has been my current infatuation, so expect a few more posts of that. Buckle up children cause we are going for a ride!

This post is a short little sweet fic about seeing konigs face for the first time. It’s simple and it’s SFW so I hope you guys enjoy it.

Tags: sfw, fluff, complements, just good ol brain rot.

Fic below the cut.

——————————

It’s hard not to notice how hot it is.

The air conditioner on base wasn’t very good anyways, but you never noticed how significant it was until you no longer had any.

As you walked down the hall you could hear some of the newer recruits here at KorTac complaining. And to be honest, you couldn’t blame them. It was difficult to bite your tongue, but as a higher rank you had to pretend everything was alright despite the sweat parading down your neck and body. It was so sweltering even your eyes were dripping.

You brushed away as much as you could with your one free while you made your way towards your colonel’s office. Your captain had asked you to deliver a few documents as per usual, so you weren’t too bothered making the trip.

The colonel himself was an interesting character. And although you weren’t able to see the pleasure of him working out in the field, he was a usual participant in helping to train the troops. And oh boy, what a sight to behold.

Firstly the man is an absolute unit. He’s over a foot taller than you, (ignore that if ur a tall person xD)

He’s built like a tank, and works out with a giant black t-shirt on his head. He was always a sight to behold out on the training course, and most of all was a very kind and experienced leader. you definitely could understand how he earned his title. as quiet as he might pose himself to be, he was a skilled and brutal fighter.

And that’s why you're so intrigued as you strut to room 106. His room. You wonder how he’s faring with the heat, especially with that unusual getup of his. You even wondered if he would have it off. It’s unlikely, but the curiosity of what the colonel might look like under the mask had you that much more excited when you knocked on his door.

You heard a grunt of displeasure from behind the door, followed by a faint “come inside.”

You twisted the knob and pulled the door open revealing a pretty uneventful spectacle.

Colonel König sat behind his desk fiddling with some papers. The soft hum of a nearby fan could be heard in the background, and you noticed he was wearing the full getup- helmet and all.

He looked up to meet your eyes before ushering you further inside with a slight motion of his finger.

you find yourself trying hard not to stare as you hand him the paperwork.

“Captain said to give these to you. More files from the new recruits. He mentioned he would be out for the weekend so He said to let you know to give him a call to his personal cell if you needed anything in particular from him.” You relayed your message from the captain and was officially finished with your service.

A sigh fell from Königs lips before he spoke “Ah yes, I remember him intending to do such. Thank you Liefermädchen, have a hopefully cooler afternoon.” He noted before he looked back down to finish his work and you spun to exit the room.

You took a few steps but before you left you couldn’t contain your burning question… literally

“I’m sorry sir, but I just have to ask…” you squeak out as you flip back around to face him.

Konig looks up again from his work and this time you can tell he is intrigued just by his eyes. He brings his built arms up to his head and gives them a good stretch before crossing it behind his neck and placing one leg over the other.

“Alright, don’t leave me waiting. Shoot.” He’s now staring intensely at you, and you feel yourself begin to feel hyper aware of the sweat now dripping down your face from your hair and even your eyebrows. You’re sure glad you happened to choose to exclude makeup from your morning routine today. No doubt it would have melted off just standing here.

“Aren’t you hot under all of… well, that ?” You question as you wave your hand all over his makeshift sniper getup. “It is almost 40 degrees outside sir. And with no air conditioning to help alleviate things… well I can’t imagine you're quite comfortable.”

“I am aware of the situation we are under,” he remarks. Now uncomfortably shifting around in his seat, “ but I’m doing alright.” He fibs.

Your going to regret saying this later, but before you can stop it, it’s already squeezed itself between your lips,

“Bullshit.”

You try to pretend you didn’t just say that to your Colonel, but the shock is clearly present on your face.

This causes the man to burst out into deep bounds of laughter, causing him to let his legs fall back into place and to unfold his arms to clutch his stomach with joy.

“You are a hilarious and very brave Herzblatt” he bellows as his laughter dies out. “ You have caught me in my fib.” He takes a moment to stand up and shrug his large shoulders under the shirt. “I am quite warm…”

“Then why not take it off? You pose to him.

“People come to my office often. To take it off, means to risk someone seeing my face.” He motions to himself as he speaks and you struggle to understand what he means.

“So? Why would that matter?” You retort.

“I’m not sure I feel quite comfortable with people knowing what I look like. Kindness has not been in my favor when people had the pleasure of looking at me without my mask.” He says, making you finally understand.

“Are you afraid people will target your looks?” You tilt your head as you move slightly closer to where the Colonel stands. How saddening that is to hear. You wonder what Konig has had to endure in the past, and your heart yearns to help him overcome his insecurity.

He looks to the floor, obviously ignoring your question,

You take this as your opportunity to breach the distance between the two of you. And the conversation suddenly feels like a mother confronting her mistreated child.

“You are the colonel of this base.” Without regard to overstepping you place your hand on Königs left shoulder. “ it wouldn’t matter if your face was so hideous it turned people into stone sir. People will respect you regardless, you are a leader here, and a leader doesn’t need to have a pretty face to still be respected. And anyways, your face probably is perfectly handsome anyways. I’ve never met an insecure ugly person.” The last two bits were a little overboard but you made your point regardless.

He smiles under his mask with your words to him. He couldn’t believe you were giving him a chance to feel a little better about himself, plus the idea of finally being able to strip himself of his personal sauna would make his job a little bit easier.

“I don’t suppose you would take it off just for a little while? I’m sure it would help cool you down.” (That was a lie) nothing would cool either of you down without air conditioning in this sweltering heat.

König pauses for a moment, and he contemplates what unveiling himself to you would mean to him. suddenly, it feels much worse that you would be the first to see him. He knows you probably wouldn’t judge, but something about it being you that just made him feel…Flustered.

He wanted to say no, but before he could protest you pushed at him again, this time trailing your hand to the bottom of his mask and tugging on it gently.

“Please. Just in front of me? I promise I’ll play nice.”

That last sentence made his head spin. Were you flirting with him?

No.. you can’t be? Can you?

His heart began to speed up to a pace so quick, he worried you might be able to hear it pounding in his chest.

“Okay.” He affirmed, unclamping his helmet and pulling the hood off to reveal his balaclava.

You felt the anticipation begin to boil inside of you as he brought his hand to his hood and firmly pulled it off of his head, not giving himself any time to process that he was revealing his face to you.

When he finished pulling his head out and tossed his balaclava to the side with the rest of his gear, you can’t help but feel your jaw drop.

He was stunning.

His hair was brown and curly, and falling to his shoulders. His face was chiseled, and covered with rough stubble. He adorned battle scars like medals and his lips looked so supple and soft.

You couldn’t imagine why he felt the need to coward himself away under a mask for so long. He was beautiful.

Your silence must have begun to worry him, as you noticed he had broken eye contact and was looking towards his balaclava.

You quickly realized that and gained his attention with a tap to his shoulder. You both had forgotten you were still sitting your hand there.

“So how do I look?” He questioned nervously. And your words couldn’t have been more perfect to him.

“I think the temperature of the room just shot up a million more degrees.”

——————————————————————————

An:

For all my visual learners here is my favorite depiction of what I believe Konig looks like under his mask. Of course all credits to the artist! (NOT MY ART) Please go to their post and like it. Also I’m not posting the actual picture to my post to respect the artist’s wishes of no reposts. Just go to the link stinkies and I will see what I mean okay-byeIloveyou!

https://www.tumblr.com/gildedskully/703578007597678592/face-reveal-i-just-think-hes-neat-rbs

(Please read)

Should I do a part 2 where things get a little… spicy?

I very well might. The temptation is greatly building in me.

Anyways for now that is all. I hope you're enjoying my newer writing style and are not disappointed in my branch out to other fandoms. As always I very much appreciate any support I get. It makes my day when I see people comment or like my posts. It’s unfathomable to me that people actually read my shit writing- 💀

Oh and, Btw if you have requested any fics from me I will get into writing those hopefully soon. I know my hiatus looked quite gloomy and long, but I’m back for now. Me taking long breaks is honestly just how I am as a person. I always come back though. Life gets busy, and I’m an adult so other adults understand the struggles of juggling jobs, life and hobbies. Even if I am gone my fics are still here for you to enjoy. Rather If that’s ten days from now or ten years, I hope you’ll enjoy them just the same.

Thank you.

-Elizabeth

[earlgreytea68]

Do u have any twin skeletons thoughts/analyses?

SO MUCH. BUCKLE UP.

I looooove this song and I think it is the most raw and brutal song about the disintegration of the Pete/Patrick relationship in the entire discography, I really do.

Patrick jumbles his use of lyrics up time-wise, he plucks them from all over their chronology, but I don't think he would write this song today, and I don't think he would write the lyrics up in this song today. Like, the lyrics are brutal, but the song they're in are worst, the way he arranges them, the way he sings them.

BUT THEN HE ENDS IT IN HOPE. THIS SONG.

I feel like there is this vague trajectory to the lyrics that Pete writes and the way that Patrick arranges and sings them. When they're both young kids, the lyrics are more straightforwardly melodramatic and self-pitying, the way kids are, and Patrick sings them that way. Which isn't to say they're not still complex, but yeah. As they move toward the hiatus, I feel like the lyrics actually get less bitter and more longing but Patrick starts arranging them and singing them more viciously, so that lyrics that could have been love songs become angry songs instead. Post-hiatus, Pete's lyrics take a distinctive pining turn that he's never entirely left, although they're not always about relationships (they never were, really, which is what I love about him) but about the passage of time and the way everything is yearning ambivalence for things you can't even define as you get older. Patrick in the beginning of the hiatus still arranged these lyrics in songs that felt defiant but by now the lyrics get put into love songs and lose some of the irony in the way Patrick sings them.

That's kind of a tangent.

Anyway, I don't actually think they dealt, lyrically or musically, with a lot of the emotions of the hiatus until AB/AP. I think they wrote SRAR almost carefully. Some of the songs in it feel almost like Patrick designed them to try to be at a remove, they feel kind of impersonal, aiming for the kind of heterosexual drama that FOB rarely hits in their songs because Pete rarely writes lyrics like that. But I think about a song like The Mighty Fall or Death Valley or Just One Yesterday or Young Volcanoes -- and there is A LOT to all of those songs, too, of course, and I love them -- but they're easy to read as just, you know, typical radio play stuff. (The notable -- REALLY notable -- SRAR exception is Miss Missing You, of course, and maybe that was as much as anyone could deal with at the time lol.)

But AB/AP, to me, is FULL of working through the hiatus baggage. There's "The Kids Aren't Alright" and there's "Fourth of July" and there's "Favorite Record" and THEN THERE'S THIS SONG. To me, this song is all about a relationship -- a partnership -- that's supposed to be perfect breaking completely to pieces right in front of you, and the way it devolves into recriminations and accusations.

The chorus, revolving around this titular room where everything went down. I read “shares our fate and deserves our pity” to imply that this room has been somehow ruined, too (sharing our fate) and that’s such a huge pity, like, this isn’t how it should have happened. There’s deep regret in this chorus: I don’t want to remember it, and what they don’t want to remember is the things the promised. The promises you make to the people you love and when it all goes to hell and you end up not keeping those promises, you don’t want to think about them.

EVERYTHING about the description of the relationship in this is some of Pete’s most vivid lyrics. This is one of those songs where every single line is absolutely crystalline. When Taylor Swift said once that she wanted “Blank Space” to be like a Fall Out Boy song where every line is a zinger, this is the song I think of, because the way this relationship is described, the way it unfurls through the song, every single line carries an entire story within it, it’s all so vivid. And the thing is, this could be read to be about sex—dull the pain, strip down to skeleton, saint swimming our sins—sure, it’s all sexy, but I don’t think any of it is actually about sex. Stripped down to our skeletons, that’s not how you have sex, that is way more revealing, way more vulnerability being shown than just taking off your clothes. It has to be read in the context of the image on their Greatest Hits compilation, those twin skeletons, dedicated to each other even in death, like, it’s just not about sex. Sure, sex can be read as sinful, but there’s a multitude of sins out there in the world for them to be swimming in. And the line that really smacks me over the head: “’til we’re twins again.” You…don’t have sex with your twin. I mean, unless we’re getting into some really weird narcissistic thing going on in this song. The twin thing is so…Patrick-coded hahaha. Because who is Patrick? The person he has twin-speak with. This whole thing is in the vein of Pete’s pining language to be honest: I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I JUST NEED A LITTLE DOSE OF YOU. I MISS HOW WE USED TO BE. I MISS WHEN WE WERE SO OURSELVES WITH EACH OTHER THAT WE WERE BASICALLY SKELETONS, THERE WAS NOTHING TO HIDE BEHIND.

But the way Patrick sings these words, the melody he gives them: It doesn’t sound pining. It sounds biting and cruel. If he sang this song in one of his piano arrangements, I bet these words would kill you with how much longing is in them. But that’s not how he sings them.

And then we get to that jet black crow, droning on and on and on, up above their heads, droning on and on and on. The way that droning line repeats, the way Patrick sings the on and on and on so that it sounds like a drone, it’s cleverly done, and the jet black crow always feels like this bad omen to me, this thing hanging over them, that they can’t escape. I MISS YOU SO MUCH, PLEASE STAY HERE WITH ME, but there’s that droning of foreboding hanging over their heads. You’ve got to keep making trouble until you find what you love, he’s not done yet, he wants to keep going, he needs a partner in crime AND YOU SHRUG. I never can decide which of them is speaking there, who looked to the other for their partner and didn’t find him there, and maybe it was both of them, because they were mutual destruction, maybe that’s the point.

Then we get to the second verse, one era dying and the next being born, showing up just to fade away, calling an end to the whole thing – and hating it the whole time (“I wanna throw my hands in the air and scream”). “I can just die laughing on your spiral of shame”: the way Patrick sings that. That is another line that I’m not sure who it’s meant to be referencing, and it could just be both of them. Honestly, the cruel things you do to the people you love when there’s a jet black crow droning on and on over your heads. But you get through the wreck and you pull yourself together enough to survive, even though you’re barely holding yourself together with a string.

But. BUT. THIS BRUTAL, BRUTAL SONG that Patrick takes Pete’s lyrics and puts together here. The way he has the pining of the first verse devolve into the vicious backlash of the second verse in the wake of the indifferent and painful shrug is so good and then the narrative retreats into: Hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on. At the end of the song he repeats “hold on” EIGHTEEN TIMES. That’s how much he wants Pete to “hold on.” This song about the complete disintegration of this relationship ends with Patrick begging, over and over again: Hold on. Hold on. It’ll be okay. Hold on. That jet black crow drones on and on and on twelve times. Patrick asks us to hold on many more times. And he never sends droning as he does it. He packs multiple notes into the ons. The jet black crow is gone by the end of the song. I made promises. Just hold on.

[sarahlizziewrites]

Where my WIPs are at:

Chrissie's of London - ~70% of the way through a second draft of Book 1 (Chrissie's, Strand), hopefully to be completed by start of September. I had promised I'd either start querying or get a Patreon set up by the time I finished this, but... I haven't done any querying at all. Motivate me?

Book 2 (The Electric Pavilion) is my go-to project at the moment when I'm sick of editing - currently 17k words.

The Adventures of Sitora Lux - Book 1 (Honesty's Cost) is still out for beta feedback after draft 2. I haven't really worked on Book 2 (A Different Kind of Courage) since last year (currently sitting at 13k words). This series is functionally on hiatus until I work out what to do with it. I think I need to pitch it solidly as YA even though it wasn't written that way.

Grey Sky Lark - this has always been a back-burner project and I haven't worked on it much lately. It's at about 12k words.

Brazen Sparrow - I got some good work done on this in the last few weeks, but I have to be in the right mood for my pirate girlies. Currently sitting at 12k words.

Crime-Fighting Husbands - I finished 'Til Death Do Us Part during NaNo 2023 and haven't really touched it since then. I have had two alpha readers provide feedback, but nobody has really been brutal enough about it. I know it needs more meat to the mystery but I can't figure out what. If there are any seasoned mystery readers/writers out there who are willing to give me brutal feedback, lmk!

Book 2 (The Ruby of Ranpur) is in the planning stage and I intend to start this for a chilled NaNo-esque challenge over October and November. Tbh this is a better mystery as a whole, and I learned a lot from my first one. I'm excited! Check on me by Thanksgiving lmao.

The Melody of Your Gravity is on hiatus. Sorry. I haven't updated since like, April, and I've also slipped out of the fandom a little. I'm not caught up on Campaign 3 and I'm lacking the motivation. I do want to finish this story, though. Maybe more news about the Mighty Nein Animated will get me excited. Fingers crossed!

Dawn Meeting - my interactive fiction thing over at @tell-me-a-poll-story. I know some people were really jazzed about this, but the pressure got to me. Idk. I don't hate the story so I might carry it on. But I remember crying over the outcome of the polls at times so it wasn't really healthy tbh. I didn't have a healthy relationship to writing in 2023 at all so it was good that I took a step back. On hiatus - not dead.

Anyway this was long lol. I want to make Chrissie's public so you all can finally read it, maybe with a goal of getting it self-published, but I know that something like a Patreon will stress me the fuck out and make me avoid it (as evidenced by the manufactured pressure of NaNo and the false accountability of publishing a fanfic and my own interactive story being really unhealthy for me). I'd love any and all advice about doing this shit professionally and not losing your mind lol.

Thanks for lending me your dividers, @saradika, they are so cute.

[hummingbird-games]

Dev Diaries

February 17, 2024

I almost put 2019 as the year and that's the energy I'm bringing to this update, help.

What Has Gemini Been Up To? -> The Knight Dance

This is around the time that the Black Visual Novel game jam would be in progress. Alas, there hasn't been an official announcement for 2024 so it's more than safe to assume that it's a hiatus year 😞 In my heart of hearts though, I still classify TKD as a jam project.

(Some might remember this idea was originally for the Yuri + Once Upon A Time jams but I had the suddenly good idea to like, chill, and shelve this project. I'm still a bit bothered I had to do that, but coming off of the development of Crushed was...brutal. Almost as if I didn't learn from my first project....huh.)

So late last month I started recruitment for sapphic project aka THE KNIGHT DANCE!! I have been DYING to work on this, but I wanted it to be a jam entry + team effort. I've never been on a team when it comes to game development! Way too anxious to function and for the longest stretch of time, I had zero experience. I have previous writing credits, but I wasn't sure how well my previous skills would translate over. And I was too embarrassed to reach out to a team and be like "hey, I don't know anything but I wanna help!". Maybe someone would have been cool with that, but I was too scared to put myself out there.

Well, Gemini is moving up in the world!! At the time of this post, I've assembled a team of people who are as jazzed as I am to work on this sapphic fairytale and bring it to life. There are a lot of first for me with this project, which means I will be learning a lot and taking copious notes.

Also I think I kind of suck at the leader part? 🤣 Methinks I was not built to be in charge.

This will have voice acting as well, and ohhhh my goodness after all the efforts to do partial VA in Crushed I really sat here and said, "Yes, yes... I shall do it again" 😭🤧💛

I don't anticipate TKD taking as long as Crushed did from start to finish (8 MONTHS Y'ALL, AHHHHHHH--), but I'm also prepared for anything to happen with TKD. I'm trying to extend the same grace to myself as I freely give to my teammates and anyone I work with, and let me say: I prefer bullying myself to being nice sometimes ☠️ I should work on that....

LOL I keep talking about TKD, but have yet to explain the concept! I'm unsure if this game with get the pinned post treatment but we'll cross that bridge later.

The Knight Dance is a sapphic remix not retelling of the original 12 Dancing Princesses story. We focus on the stubborn, youngest daughter of three, Princess Heather, and the knight who's already fallen in love with her, Lady Ezra. Are they meant to be or is love not enough???? 👀🍿

TKD takes a couple of the concepts I wanted but never saw all together.

12 Dancing Princess is one of my favorite fairytales and no one ever adapts this outside of literature.

I've wanted to do a sapphic game for a hot minute (HSDJY is basically yuri if you ask some disgruntled players LOL 🤷🏽‍♀️ Ryan and Langston are chopped liver...)

It's Black History month and I'm Black 365 days of the year and damn if I can't just see Black women falling in love and being loved in return????

The ridiculously stubborn girl trope and the love interest who loves her. I know some people are annoyed by MCs who would rather die than admit their feelings ('immature' comes up a LOT) so I was kind and kept y'all in mind when writing the script😂

So there's the update for the 'in progress' game. Tune in next time where we tackle -> HSD:JY 2...THE SEQUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Gemini 🖤

[dlstmxkakwldrlarchive]

im scared about all this since onew seems like he would take their insults and accusations to heart. ntm last years hiatus as well. hes been doing so well these days after leaving sm and now they're after him again. these people are so vile.

honestly when he announced his hiatus last year i was kind of glad, circle promotion period was brutal ppl were constantly body shaming him, stalking him and his friends, they even attacked circle/the feeling mv when she wrote a message of encouragement on her igs for him and then jwols started being racist towards him bcs of the yoga thing. what we need are consequences! the death wreaths plans aren't exactly hidden, and neither are the death threats, they're even planning to send letters wishing him to . himself with their own names and addresses

if this type of behavior would've been shut down years ago by esem, we wouldn't even be here discussing this lol

[letstalkwhump]

Let’s Talk Whump No.3

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump!

I’m Malice, from @whumpers-inc and today I’ve got the fabulous @brutal-nemesis in the house to talk about her experience with and love for whump!

Let’s talk about you! Tell us something about yourself :)

Yo, I'm Nemi, I'm in my 20s and a whumper all the way, baby. Outside of whump, I like rocks (like have an entire degree in geology like rocks), video games (Octopath Traveler, Pokemon, FE, Nancy Drew PC games...), anime (don't ask me about Chainsaw Man, I won't shut up), and hiking (rocks but in their natural habitat).

What does “whump” mean to you?

I get to stab men and laugh about it. I love violence, I am very sadistic

Your fearsome reputation is something of a legend around here. How did you find whump and what made you want to join?

Very long rabbit hole but to be less long about it, I saw some whump stuff on the blog of a pokemon tumblr I stalked (because I didn't have an account) and I was like, Hey This Is The Shit. I lurked for a while but as time went on, I wanted to talk to people about whump and share my own shit cuz I've never really had anyone to talk to about that sort of stuff (at least not without making them really concerned lol).

Being able to talk about wanting to beat up/stab/restrain a guy without concerned looks and questions is so therapeutic, honestly. Do you have a favourite(s) whump trope?

Gore, noncon surgery & body modification, vivisection, female whumper w/ male whumpee, and just general depravity!

Female whumpers, my beloveds! Speaking of favourite pieces, tell us one that you’ve written?

Uhhhh what have I written at all...mmm, well, as far as Castys things, if I had to pick one, it'd probably be Cycle-stys of Yikes . Basically it's a nice little overview of Castys losing his damn mind while he's stuck in a lab for like 240 years. It's probably one of the darkest things I've written as far as, uh, what happens, and that's saying a lot. Idk I just feel like I did a good job with describing these really fucked up actions as...whatever the hell he thought was happening.

For Erebus and Terror...it's hard. I'm really proud of the whole series, tbh, just how I've been able to develop both Erebus and Neteri over time as they change each other, but for a standout chapter...Maybe Chapter 14, Red, White, and Blue , cuz I really love the way I wrote Erebus's panic and what was happening to him from his POV without explicitly describing what was happening. And what's not to love about how upset he is in that one :)

Damn, Red, White and Blue! You’ve definitely earned your reputation..that was brutal! Is there anything new you’re working on at the moment?

Yare yare...I should get started on the next chapter of E&T at some point, shouldn't I? I mean, I have a huge AU stockpile that's basically all between me and one person and we just sit on them, so probably nothing from there for the people...So yeah, probably the next chapter of E&T whenever I get around to that and then I'll probably try to come up with something for Castys since I'm sure people miss him.

Take it from me, the people definitely miss Castys! Care to share what your writing routine usually looks like?

Hahahaha who knows, man. Back before my lil hiatus, I used to write every day whenever I had time and felt like it, but then I became Gamer Mode for a few months and I'm still working on getting out of that habit. But usually just on the couch or in my room with either my video game/anime OST playlist on shuffle (she's 59 hrs long!) or my weeb playlist (anime ops and whatnot) because if it's English words then it's harder to focus on writing,  y’know. Usually I jump around in whatever chapter or piece I'm writing, writing the scenes or bits of dialogue/description as they come to me, and slowly stitching the whole thing together until it's one whole blanket boy.

Is there an easy thing for you to write, something the words just pour for? Anything you struggle with writing?

The easiest thing in the world is whatever bullshit thoughts Castys is having. He is incredibly easy to channel. Any of his dialogue or what he's thinking about comes without much thought. The words also usually flow for my classic™ incredibly long run-on sentence paragraphs that have like no breaks in them cuz it's all go go go, baby. Erebus and Neteri talking isn't too hard either, especially if they're bickering. As far as hard, probably descriptions of pain because it can hard to say how much a thing hurts over and over without being repetitive. I am also not a researcher.  I will just be out here making shit up because it's MY fantasy world so I can have whatever bullshit I want!

Do you have any words of wisdom or writing advice for us?

Well, my old habit that worked for me was to try and write every day, for at least half an hour. If I end up going more, great, but if it's not working at least I tried. That and inspiration is everywhere. Steal whatever shit you like and cobble it together into something unrecognisable. It's not plagiarism cuz you're making something new. Like, E&T came from Stephen King's Misery and a magical girl anime. Go crazy, go stupid.

Go crazy, go stupid. I love it! Let’s give a shout out to your favourite writing/whump blogs, bffs or people who've inspired you. We're hyping everyone up here!

Can't not shout out the bestie @galaxywhump who has impeccable taste and bomb writing and we talk a whole lot everyday and yeah, queen shit. @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifih-wifi is another good friend and amazing writer and she's got so many different stories that everyone can find something they love. Ugh, there's a lot of other people I could talk about, but I'll give the last shout-out to @whump-side cuz her art just always hits the spot for me, so fuckin good.

Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us today. Is there anything you like to add?

Don't be afraid to be a little bit silly, lads, we're here to have fun and it doesn't have to be the most serious shit in the world for it to be good whump. we love being silly and crazy.

Thanks for dropping by @brutal-nemesis ! 

And to all the readers, have a whump-derful day!

[missr3n3]

(swap writer here and with the list!)

Basic list of changes in the Swap au, without too much spoilers

Madeline swaps with Joshua in being the Secret Cael Antichrist (but she suffers a different type of torture)

Joshua swaps with Madeline in being the Antichrist's ex-partner (but he has added content)

Isaac swaps with Leah in being the one created RDP (as an alternative way of escapism from his parents aside from drugs)

The Wells parents swap with Marilyn and Joe in being the important couple brutally murdered by Luce

Andrew swaps with Jessie in being the in hiding ex-officer that is still around Nox

Jessie swaps with Andrew in being the one who's cornered by Luce (but she ends up paraplegic instead of dead)

No massive change to Zeke other than that he's working with Andrew and Joshua instead (very sorry lol)

Leah swaps with Rachel in being the one who's murdered by a Bestian Devil in the woods (threw herself in front of her sister)

Rachel swaps with Leah in being the surviving Milton sibling (she probably has a scar or two from the attack though)

Amir swaps with Leah in being the older and more rational friend to Maddie, Joshua and Isaac

Amir swaps in a minor way with Sam and Jessie by not moving away after one of the Milton sisters is killed

Rachel swaps in a minor way with Joshua by having something happen to her eyes (she has to really force the mental link between her and her sister when she's [spoilers])

Jessie swaps in a minor way with Amir and Sam by moving away with Amir's mom's help to New York after retiring following her diagnosis (she probably had one therapy cat before Sunny)

Sam swaps with Delilah in secretly being a Cael (his parents moved from California before he was born and one of them was killed by the Devil threats)

Delilah swaps with Sam in being the roommate of a secret Cael (her family came from Diane, moved to Nox and her parents and her later moved to Hemera)

Cassandra swaps with Elijah in being the one to contact a Demonic Entity and who contacts RDP (she does this willingly only wanting to help her friend to stop drowning in work to make money)

Elijah swaps with Cassie in being the friend who's taking a break and is worried about the supernatural activity (he's still a Youtuber but he's on a small hiatus to try and recover his health)

Please say if I missed anyone or any other basic info that would be valuable to know!

gonna put my thoughts in an ordered list bc otherwise this response is gonna b incomprehensible lol

god no wonder joshua struggles with his mental health so bad if the only adults in his life are joe and zeke 💀

super interested in what's going on with the postmortem bond between rachel n leah 👀

sam would look fucking terrifying as a cael he's so huge @_@

im having a lot of interesting thoughts w/ cassandra taking over elijah's spot in the story and i can share none of them without spoilers 😔 its a vry cool choice tho!

i think the only character not covered is michael, but it also seems like the supernatural entities (him + luce + cairyx) are being kept ✨mysterious✨ on purpose, so dont worry about sharing if what's going on with him is spoilers!

[thana-topsy]

Ohh so excited to hear you're working on Liminal Bridges again!! That and Breathing Water are still two of the best tes fics I've read! Also any plans for neloth to make an appearance for the pinup challenge lol

Ayye thank you so much! I didn't mean to take such a brutally long hiatus from that story, but it took some distance to really unlink it in my brain from some unfortunate fallout I had with certain friends in the fandom. I think it's for the best, though, because it gave me time to become a stronger writer AND to really give the plot time to cook. I'm really excited with the direction its taking and can't wait to start posting again. (Probably won't post any new chapters until I finish up Halfway to the Sky).

And oh, buddy... Neloth is absolutely getting the pinup treatment.

[wint3r-h3art]

FIRST OFF... a 🌹 for you. And then for the End of the Year Asks 1, 3, and 9.

Also, I'm so happy that your new home is starting to come together! A kitchen island sets the standard for a nice kitchen and a nice bed to sleep in makes the winter bearable!

Thank you so much 💛💛💛💛🥺🫶 we’ve been working hard on making the house becoming more like our home, so it has been a labor of love. To have the bed there, just makes it more whole. 

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

It has to be Once Upon a Dream.

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

The beginning of Until Eternity 🥲

Stephen stood in the silent darkness, blending into the night as the smell of petrichor permeated the air.

The rain had just begun to fall upon the earth, soaking every dry crevice with life once more, marking the end of a long, brutal summer, and ushering in the long-awaited autumn. The leaves were just slowly turning red, and the warmth of the summer air barely departed even if it was already October.

9. longest wip of the year

I have too many 🫣 Halocone, a love triangle fic with Stucky has been on hiatus for like close to two years now, follow by Kill Me, Kiss Me, a Dark!Shangqi au 😬

For the  🌹

It’s too naughty for the girlies, so I’m putting it under readmore lol

His tongue continued to work you, teased your opening, rimming it in slow circles first before letting his tip nudge and pushed your clit.

[bi-dykes]

HEY GONUM!!!! HOW ARE YOU DOING GIRLIE?? ☺️💕💕💕💕 I HOPE UNIVERSITY IS GOING WELL FOR YOU SO FAR!!! APOLOGIES FOR THE INACTIVITY!!! IM ON A HIATUS AND ALSO BECAUSE HIGH SCHOOL IS TRYING TO KILL ME 😀 /J

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF MY FRIEND AND I WISH YOU NOTHING BUT LOVE AND HAPPINESS!!! 💌💌💌💌

HEYYY CLOVER 🥰 University is going sublime, I got a 90% on my assignment, I like my dorm room, I’ve been asked out three times (I said no each time lol none of them tickled me pink) my roommate and I are like besties, and I’ve made a few new friends!

I’VE ALREADY SAID THIS BEFORE TO YOU BUT DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR THAT, TUMBLR IS JUST AN APP, IT’S NOT A JOB 💕💕💕 YOU DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO <3 and keep taking good care of yourself :)

I’m sorry to hear that high school has been brutal to you! You got this ✊ you can do it!

I WISH YOU LOVE AND HAPPINESS TOOOO 💝💝💝😊😊😊

Gonum signing off 👋

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

For the WIP asks, I've gotta go for the BSD fics! You know I love that show. I saw you had at least 3 of them on your list so tell me as much or as little as you'd like about them.

I WOULD LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THEM *cue me being annoying as fuck*

Ask me about any WIPs I might have!!

note: kat info dumping about her bsd WIPs under the cut ja;ldkf also not proofread so sorry for typos/weird wording

So I'm typically a Dazai simp (but i'm currently mad at him for the shit he did in meursault so we're on a break >:( ) so both "current" and "mafia days" are dazai x oc fics. "mafia days" is pretty self-explanatory lmao. it's stuff during the dark age!

but it details OC being a pretty powerful ability user that Mori personally sought out and then she ends up being a pretty lethal assassin for the organization and takes Dazai's place as leader of the Black Lizard. During the Mimic incident, she "brutally murders" the one Mimic soldier that had the gun pointed at Dazai's head and Dazai begins chastising her about needing to keep him alive for interrogation or that she overdid it and they get into a fight! She continues her investigation of Mimic without him BUT eventually gets captured by Gide because the way she murdered the other soldier with her abilities caught their attention. Dazai does NOT come to rescue her until last minute because he wasn't even aware that she wasn't just further ignoring him. He thinks she dies in his arms, but of some unknown facet of her abilities (think Atsushi's healing BUT STRONGER). She wakes up in the infirmary a few days later and is under the impression that Dazai sold her out to Mimic and left her for dead. END SCENE

SKIP TO 4 YEARS LATER

This basically just follows canon. OC is a pretty high-ranking executive now and is pretty much always taking kill jobs, primarily to channel her rage into it because she's still pissed about Dazai. Some of the important character deaths, I have her involved in because I can (sue me), like Sasaki's. She comes along with that meeting between Fukuzawa and Mori to negotiate and when Fukuzawa attacks (instead of Tanizaki coming in with Light Snow), she comes him to stop his sword and then Dazai is all like D: because it turns out she's alive but he didn't know. She gets assigned to assassinate Fitzgerald and they have like a big confrontation where she's pissed at Dazai for abandoning her and he's trying to convince her that he thought she was dead all along. I have her involved as the show progresses but it's not as impactful as s2 i think.

"mafia!husband au" is basically the same except she gets with chuuya. the drama in the dark days still happens, but she's always had a close bond with chuuya because they're both stupidly powerful ability users that didn't really know where they came from. in the normal story (stuff i described above), they're just really close like a brother/sister bond thing. in this AU, they get together at some point. the confrontation with her and dazai still happens, but she's not able to forgive him and overlook the pain that he caused right before she got captured.

and that's it! i think. they're pretty well fleshed out because these WIPs are like...around 6 years old at this point? started it in 2017 alkdfjklsdf

i also have a separate writing blog for bsd if you're ever interested! it's permanent hiatus tho because the bsd fandom chased me away for reasons i can tell u in dm's lol :p