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hellfire--cult · 1 year ago

Text

Edit of Eddie: Sofiiel

Stripper!Eddie x Shy!Fem!Reader

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 (End)

WC: 14k

⚠️ +18 MDNI, Stripper!Eddie, nervousness, fluff, self doubt, soft touches, mentions of nausea, signs of anxiety, angst (i won't spoil any more of the chapter)

Plot: You thought you were cursed with your shyness, but after one embarrassing night, you decide it's time to change, and you believe someone might be able to help with that.

Summary: Was it all how it seemed? Whatever doubt you had, you find the answer to, and it is time to move forward.

A/N: And we reached the end... I never thought this story would blow up they way it did, but I am so grateful for every single one of you that always reblogged, commented, messaged me to know when the next chapter would be out... I cannot thank you enough. This story is very dear to me, and I already have a few requests for these characters! Hope you all still follow me through the next stories I will post!

You can always support me by hitting the reblog button with tags, and I always enjoy reading your comments!

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PART 8 - FINALE

Robin Buckley was in cloud nine at the moment.

After a successful date on Friday, she had spent the entire weekend with Vickie, consuming their love with their first kiss, their first time together, and realizing that they both were stupid idiots who didn’t make a move because they were too scared to do so.

So now, on Sunday morning she finally is back in her apartment, singing in the shower as she washes her body from the weekend’s activities. She finally got the girl she had been desiring ever since she met her. Vickie was not far behind, but Vickie had confessed to Robin that it would be her first official time dating a woman. Robin was more than glad to be the first one to do so.

When she got out, she was still humming, starting to dress herself for the day, and then her phone dings, making her grab it and smile widely as she reads the notification. Vickie had messaged her ‘Miss you already :(‘ and Robin couldn’t help but giggle at it and jump up and down in her excitement. She cannot wait to tell the girls, to tell you, to tell Steve. She had disconnected herself from her phone the whole weekend because she just wanted to spend it with Vickie, entirely.

She whistled as she stepped in her boots, replying to Vickie as she did, saying she missed her too and it was the truth. They were entering the Honeymoon phase already, and she cannot wait to go on that ride. She went into the messages she has with you, and instantly messaged you.

“Hey, you up?” After a few minutes, there was another response.

“Yeah, I am.” Robin smiled at that and replied back to you as excitement ran through her veins.

“I’m going up and we can go get a cup of coffee!” She didn’t even wait for your response, she just got up from her bed and grabbed her wallet to pull some bills out and put them back in her pocket. She walked out of the room, shaking her wet hair from side to side to dry it a bit and have a little bit of movement.

How were you going to react? Are you going to be happy? You probably will, and she can’t wait to tell you everything Vickie and her had done through the weekend, except for some details that remain private. She can’t wait to tell you how they got together, how the confessions occurred, and what they ate on Friday night. She was rocking back and forth on her heels as she went to pick you up. She knew that she had to pick you up to get the coffee so that you would move. Many times you declined because you were lazy, but Robin always made you get up from the couch, and you didn’t have a say in it.

When she reached your floor, she walked towards your door whistling softly. She knocked on your door in a happy tune.

“Wakey wakey!” She says through the door for you to hear. She licked her lips as she waited for you, still rocking back and forth on her heels. Some seconds passed making Robin become impatient and she started knocking on the door again. “Come on, let’s go!”

“Alright, alright!” She hears your muffled voice on the other side, unlocking the door and you get out of your apartment through a small gap in between the door and the frame. Robin got confused at that because you didn’t open your door entirely, but she dismissed it with a shrug. What confused her even more was what you were wearing.

“Well hello to you too, cranky.” Robin says and you yawn, shaking your head at her and that’s when Robin noticed the bags under your eyes, and how red they looked. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just tired, didn’t sleep an inch last night.” You say to her and she hummed, still worried about how you were looking as the both of you started walking to the elevator. You had make up, and when you didn’t sleep you always put some concealer on after learning how to properly use it. Maybe you just didn’t have the time or energy to do it this morning. Once the metal doors closed, Robin talked again.

“I think I haven’t seen that shirt or those pants in ages.” She says and you look down at yourself, a gulp passing your throat as you fix the ponytail you were wearing.

“I threw everything else in the washer.” Was your short reply, and Robin’s heart accelerated because something didn’t feel right, but she was hoping it was just a wrong hunch, just something that she was overthinking probably. “You didn’t message me all weekend.”

And that was the queue for Robin to smile widely as she started talking nonstop about her date. You were faintly smiling at her as she told you how Vickie had tripped when walking in the street with her and she took the opportunity to hold onto her hand. She told you how it was Vickie the one that confessed in the diner that she felt something else for her, besides friendship.

“And then, outside of the diner, I just grabbed her and kissed her. I was just so impatient, maybe too anxious, but I couldn’t help myself! She just looked so pretty under the neon lights…” She continues saying as you both slowly walk down the street. Your face was down towards the floor all the time as if you were watching your steps.

“Doesn’t explain why you didn’t talk to me all weekend Robs.” You try to let out a giggle, but it comes out as a small huff, which Robin barely noticed as her eyes lit up in excitement.

“I– well, she kind of invited me to her apartment… Afterwards.” Robin was blushing now, rubbing the back of her neck, not noticing the pained expression that had crossed your features.

“That’s… Great Robs, so you just spent Saturday at Vickie’s?” You ask to keep the conversation going as a man is walking your way. Robin didn’t notice how you traded places with her, putting yourself closer to the street as the man passed between the building and Robin.

“Yeah… I just wanted to be with her, you know? And yesterday we could talk more calmly about what we were, where we were standing.” She explains, her whole face red as the memories keep flashing in Robin’s mind, blissfulness all over her body.

“And where are you both standing?” You ask her, now looking towards the ground again. Robin’s chest filled with excitement and giddiness again, twirling in her place as she walked with you.

“We’re dating!” Robin smiles dumbly and completely dazed as you two keep walking. She really can’t wait to tell the other girls, wait till they know that she and Vickie finally made it work. She can’t wait to tell Steve that he can eat his words, telling her she had no balls to tell Vickie what she felt… Though, Robin believes Steve was doing it to give her some sort of boost, and impulse.

“I am so happy for you Robs.” You try to sound enthusiastic, you really are trying because you are happy. You are happy for your friend.

But everything else was just numb.

“Thank you! Okay we’re here! Should we get our table on the corner like we always do–” Your eyes drift up and into the coffee shop. The green eyed young man was at the counter, already waving your way because for the past month you have been getting coffee in this family business. His name is Adam.

And your eyes looked down at the floor again.

“I– I prefer to go back home Robs, I don’t feel all that well…” You excuse yourself and Robin turns to look at you with an eyebrow raised up in worry.

“Are you okay? Shit, you should have told me you felt sick…” Now Robin felt guilty for not giving you the chance to tell her that you were feeling like this. She acted out of selfishness on wanting to tell everything to you that she didn’t think about you or your feelings at the moment. You look at her and you shake your head desperately not wanting her to feel guilty.

“Yeah, just tired…” Robin nods at that because she can see the bags under your eyes, she doesn’t know why you were tired. You probably ended up playing games till late like you always did.

“Alright, then let's get the coffee to go.” She says, giving one step inside the coffee shop. Your nervous hand reaches quickly to her sleeve, making her stop in her tracks and give you a puzzled look.

“Um… There’s another coffee shop, called Sunflower!” You say to her, almost desperately, only getting a confused frown from Robin’s part.

“It’s like– five more blocks away! Let’s just get coffee here and go back.” Robin turns and you let go of her sleeve, standing still in your place as you look down to the floor. She felt that you weren’t following her, so she turned around again, examining you. A weird feeling sat in her stomach, something along the lines of dread, of worry. She waited for you to talk, waited for you to say the words she was fearing of hearing again from you, words that she was happy you finally let go of, or— that’s what Robin thought.

“U-Um… Can you get my order?”

Those words that you only said when you couldn’t buy something because a man was at the cash register. Milkshakes you asked Robin to buy for you because the big man behind the counter had winked at you. Coffees that Robin had to drive and get for you because no female baristas were working at any close coffee shops. Robin’s eyes widened as she slowly turned to see the puzzled look of Adam, looking at you both as he took the order from an old man that was sitting in a corner.

“Please… tell me that you didn’t just ask me that.” Robin’s eyes looked for yours but you were looking down at the floor, maybe in shame, maybe in fear, maybe in complete embarrassment, maybe in sorrow, maybe in despair. Robin’s heart crumbled in her chest as she pulled you away from the coffee shop’s entrance, grabbing you by your hand and dragging you a couple of steps away.

“Robin– You’re hurting me–” Robin let go of your hand and made a sharp turn with a frown to her eyebrows, tears prickling in her eyes as she shook her head at you.

“What happened!?” She asks you and you gulp heavily, shaking your head at her. Robin wanted answers, she needed them, and you were not giving them to her. What happened this weekend for you to act like this again? What happened to you? What made you go back to the starting line?

“N-Nothing, I don’t know what you mean–” You started but you could already see Robin’s hair almost frizzing up in anger, or in confusion.

“Don’t play fucking dumb with me! The clothes!? The lack of makeup!? Your hair in a loose ponytail and you didn’t even comb it!” Robin was breathing heavily now as your eyes didn’t focus on her face any longer, just looking to the side as tears started filling them. “And now, you couldn’t even LOOK at the guy you’ve been ordering coffee from for the past month!”

“I just feel weird today, that’s all.” Was your short answer, and Robin tilted her head at you, her brain trying to work but she didn’t want to lose you. She didn’t want to lose the you from the last two months, and she was feeling like your brain shut that person out. She remembers how you didn’t let her see inside your apartment at all, and she straightened up, turning to start walking back to the complex. “Robin?”

“Come on.” Was her only command. You were confused as you followed her, walking the streets at a quick pace, making your breathing grow heavy. Once you got to your complex, you both got inside the elevator and you let out a sigh but then your eyes widened when Robin only pressed the button of your floor.

“Aren’t you going home?” You ask, nerves already creeping up in your body, a cold sweat invading your fingertips, and you felt yourself growing more desperate the sound of passing each floor dinged inside the elevator. “Robs, I feel sick, really–”

“Shut the fuck up.” You jumped at her words. She never cussed at you, she actually almost never did in any circumstance. The metal doors opened, and your eyes widened, walking quickly to reach your door before Robin could catch you, but she was quick to grab onto the handle of your door, looking at you.

“Um… It’s a mess inside–”

“Open the door.” You blinked at her and you slowly shook your head. She can’t see it. She can’t see what you did. You will just disappoint her. You know it. Robin’s eyebrow twitched and she took a deep breath in, trying to calm herself. “Open the door.”

She wasn’t going to leave, and you knew that. There was no escaping this confrontation, and you weren’t going to win it. You could run away, but Robin would sit and wait for you to come back and open the door. She wasn’t going to leave. She wasn’t going to give up on you, on this, even if you had already given up. You took your keys out of your pocket with a trembling hand, and Robin held your hand and helped you guide it into the keyhole, opening the door.

Robin walked in, turning the light on. She looked around and everything seemed to look the exact same, except… The trash bags that sat outside your room, piled up one next to the other. Robin’s eyebrows twitched, fear settling in her chest as she walked towards one of the bags. You closed the door behind you and your eyes widened when Robin bent down in one of the bags.

“What the fuck…” You hear her say and that’s when your mind started spiraling again. Everything was coming back to you as she slowly raised up again, and she turned to look at you with the purple dress in her hands. “Why… Why are all your clothes in trash bags?”

“I–I was doing some… Marie Condo cleaning thing.” You lied, but it came out as a tremble, your eyes scanning the dress in Robin’s hands, memories flashing over your eyes and your brain was just telling you how delusional you were being. How stupid you were for trying to be someone like that. You knew you were never that, you knew it, and you weren’t going to ever be.

“Cleaning my fucking ass!” Robin yelled, making you jump again. Why was she so mad? Why isn’t she happy that you went back to your old self? Why is she acting this way with you? “You made so much progress! So much! Why are you going back!?”

“I– I don’t understand what you’re saying, I never changed–”

“You fucking did! You changed into who you actually are! You changed into someone that knows what they like, knows what they want! So what is all this shit!?” Robin motioned to all of the trash bags that contained your new stuff, and you felt your heart shrinking at each word that came out of her mouth. You shook your head at her as your tears started to burn your eyes.

“This is who I am. The things in the trash bags were just costumes Robin, they are something I am not!” Robin couldn’t believe what she was hearing. There must be a mistake, everything was fine on friday night, everything was incredible, you sounded so happy, you sounded and looked like you were glowing. She didn’t ask why you looked like that, but she feels like she might know why. She has a feeling inside of her that tells her that is right.

“This is not who you are! THIS is who you shaped yourself to be in order to feel safe!” You flinched at the word ‘shape’. You didn’t shape yourself, you didn’t put this skin to protect yourself, she was wrong. Everyone is wrong.

“Why can’t you accept me for who I am!? Why does everyone want to mold me into what they want!? Into what society wants!?” You weren’t looking at her, your eyes looking at the counter. Your voice was loud, taking Robin by surprise, but something in your words caught her attention.

Everyone?

“I accepted you, always! But the past months I felt like I actually got to know the real you! For the fucking first time!” At her words you rolled your eyes as a tear fell down your cheek.

“Right, because I started dressing myself with short shit? Because I started talking to guys? Is that the ‘normal’ for you?” You were in complete defensive mode, and Robin knew that, but she was taken aback by your response. You two never fought, ever, and this would be the first big fight you two would have, but Robin wasn’t going to lose it.

“No! Because you let yourself go! You started doing shit you actually wanted to do, and you even voiced it out! You got stuff that you wanted, and then you learnt to not ask for a second opinion on it! You liked stuff and you got it!” She motioned to all of the trash bags again, her voice breaking from how loud she was starting to get. “Everything that’s in these bags, are things YOU picked! No one else did for you!”

You flinched at her words. You did pick those clothes, you did pick the makeup yourself, you did pick many of the accessories yourself… But you picked them probably because you knew what everyone might like, driven by that, more than what you actually enjoyed wearing. You were driven by what he might like. What he might enjoy. What he always looked at every time he went to work.

“Robin, I don’t want to listen to you any longer, if you can’t accept–”

“Accept who you are, I always did! And I always will! This part of you–” She motioned to your body, your clothes, your hair. “I accept, AS WELL, as this side of you.” She then motioned to all of the trash bags in the living room.

“You are not fucking showing it.” You spat at your friend with venom in your voice. Robin was not going to let you walk out of all the progress you made, she wasn’t going to give up on you, she wasn’t going to let you give up on yourself.

“What the fuck happened? What made you revert into your past self?” Robin walked towards you, slowly, as if she were approaching a scared dog. You blinked at those words, turning to finally look at her.

“You mean, why did I stop pretending something I’m not? They’re two different things.” Robin saw it in your eyes, there was an emptiness, as if someone had punched a hole somewhere in your body and your blood was slowly draining out from your body. There is something behind your eyes, something behind your defensiveness, something behind your quivering lip that simply broke you.

Something happened this weekend. Something definitely happened to you.

“You need to tell me… what happened. Did someone hurt you? Did someone make you feel bad?” Robin didn’t know what to ask because you weren’t giving anything out. She didn’t see anything out of the ordinary except for the bags, and she had to know what was going on in your head. You simply had to talk to her.

“Nothing happened. I just realized many things.” You were looking down at the floor again, and Robin’s hands slowly raised up to land on your shoulders. Your eyes were different now. They weren’t empty no more. They were hurt. Completely and utterly hurt. Your eyes were going back and forth as memories kept flashing in them, moments that you thought were real, moments that you thought were created with honesty, with the truth.

“Baby… What happened?” Robin said softly, her voice trembling slightly because you weren’t responding. You weren’t answering, and she was going insane about it. She wants to help you, she needs to help and she doesn’t know how.

“I need to be alone.” Robin shook her head, not wanting to do what you were asking, but you sent her a look that sent shivers down her spine. “You need to leave.”

“What–” She couldn’t finish her sentence, as the tears in your eyes were starting to pool on the water lines, and your breathing turned heavy. You pushed her arms away from you, and walked to the door, ripping it open.

“Get out!” You yelled at her. You actually yelled at her and Robin knew you were far gone. You weren’t going to listen, you weren’t going to talk, you weren’t going to let her in. She choked up on her own words, swallowing them as the anxiety of the situation was eating her at her stomach. Robin took a deep breath in and walked towards the door, giving you a final look.

“Please… talk to me when you’re ready.” You simply glared at her as tears rolled down your cheeks, and the moment she was out of the door, you slammed it shut, locking it as quickly as possible and your hands were pressed against it as the breathing turned almost painful.

Through the entire morning you had been holding back tears, holding back the emotions that were swirling in your mind. How can you tell Robin that Eddie tricked you? How do you even explain to her that you also feel like she knew? Steve was the one that told you about it, and her and Steve were almost best friends now. It’s impossible for her to not know about their second jobs.

You tried really hard to keep yourself together this morning, you really tried. You didn’t want to cry anymore because you felt like you were drained, only for more tears to appear out of nowhere. You could hear your phone buzzing in your pocket and you clenched your eyes tight. He hasn’t stopped calling, he hasn’t stopped messaging you, he hasn’t stopped asking if you were okay even when you told him you needed some time alone this weekend.

He wouldn’t leave you alone.

And that was confusing you, not understanding why he still wanted to talk to you when he already got what he wanted. He already tasted you, so what else does he want? The worst part is that he got everything now. He had you in every shape and form, in body and soul, and he doesn’t even know that. He just wanted the physical part and he doesn’t even know that he got more than just your body. And he will never know.

For the past two days you couldn’t even bring yourself to throw the bags out of the apartment. There was this string holding you back, it was invisible, yet you knew it was there. You wanted them out of your house because the pain of seeing them there is just too great, but you couldn’t even lift one bag up. You couldn’t even imagine putting a bag for donation because the pain becomes even bigger than having the bags in your house.

You slammed your back against the door as the tears kept coming down your cheeks, sobs ripping out at your chest. You slid down all the way and onto the floor, pulling your knees up to your chest, hugging them tightly as you pressed your face into them. You didn’t know what you wanted. You don’t even know if letting go is the right choice because you still hurt either way. But that’s life isn’t it? Letting go to move forward.

Your nights were sleepless, your pillows very much stained with all the tears that went through their fabric, yet you didn’t change the bedsheets. You didn’t, even if you should have. You didn’t let go of those sheets. You didn’t let go of that night. You didn’t let go of his scent. You didn’t let go of what he made you feel. You didn’t want to let go, yet you knew you had to.

Because it was all a lie.

Why is life this hard? Why is everything this way for you? Why can’t you just be happy with who you are? You’re a fucking hypocrite, telling Robin to accept you as you are when you can’t even do it yourself. You were torn between knowing who you are and who you wanted to be. You didn’t know anymore. You just didn’t. You were feeling as if something was ripped away from you, and you didn’t know if it was your heart, or that you that laughed when you tried to teach Billy how to braid hair, that you that danced around the living room with Steve twirling behind you, or that you that kissed a man because she really desired to do so.

A man that wrapped you around his finger, to then engulf you into his whole hand, crushing you bit by bit as he squeezed. You don’t want to keep going like this. You don’t want to give him any more trophies. You don’t want to remember anymore, you want your memories to vanish completely, yet you don’t want them to at the same time. You had to let go. You had to let him go.

Today you’ll throw the bags out.

Robin was breathing heavily as she paced around in her apartment.

She couldn’t talk to anyone about this because no one knew what you did the past two months. Robin didn’t even tell the other girls that she had a new friend called Steve. She didn’t even tell Vickie yet, and now Robin was losing her mind on who to talk to about this. She needed help.

She was trying to remember if you said anything on Friday, anything that would give her any kind of lead. She cursed at herself because she just remembers being too excited about her date with Vickie that everything else was being blocked out. Focus Robin, focus. She was at the mall when she called you, and she does remember you glowing, but what did you say?

Robin was slamming her hand on the counter as she tried to recall every second of that call. She went into a store, she remembers looking for a shirt, and then you had asked her how did she know she liked Vickie. Something about attraction. Something that made Robin look at you with knowing eyes. She straightened up, freezing.

Groceries. You didn’t go to the grocery store.

Robin’s hands immediately rushed to get her phone, not caring that it was ten in the morning and her friend might probably be asleep right now. She remembers Steve being home on friday because he was sick, very sick, so she has to know if you went to their house that night. She immediately started calling her friend, her phone raised up, waiting for him to answer.

No answer was coming and Robin Buckley was desperate. She needed to talk to Steve, she needed to know where you were that night. She cursed under her breath and grabbed her car keys from the counter. She doesn’t like driving much, but for you she would drive 9 hours straight if it were necessary. She was flying out of her complex in the matter of seconds, and in the matter of minutes, driving by many red lights, she got to Steve’s building.

She parked the car as best as she could in her hurry, knowing she might get a ticket for how badly it was sticking out but it was the least of her worries right now. You didn’t look fine, and she was scared. She ran to the intercom, pressing her finger in his apartment number repeatedly, not stopping at all until a very tired Billy Hargrove answered on the other side.

“I swear to god, whoever it is–”

“It’s Robin! Let me in!” She says in a hurry as her legs start making her bounce up and down in her anxiety.

“Robin, it is too early–”

“It’s an emergency!” She almost yells and Billy could sense the high pitch in her tone. Robin heard the buzzer going off and she rushed inside the building, and she sighed a thank you to whoever was above that the elevator was already in the lobby. She was tapping her foot repeatedly as she kept pressing the desired floor button, even if the elevator was already dinging that it was going up, as if it were going to make it go faster.

Once the metal doors opened, her legs immediately stomped towards the door, knocking onto it at a quick pace, her breathing heavy as she waited for anyone to open the door. At the small turn of doorknob, she was pushing herself in, making Billy stumble backwards, his eyes widening at the gesture as he sees the tornado Robin is leaving behind in her rush.

“Is Steve up!?” She turns to see Billy closing the door with worried eyes, a frown in his eyebrows as he keeps looking at Robin. Her answer came quickly when she heard the metal clinking of the stairs as someone headed down. She turned to see Steve in his blue robe and boxers, rubbing his eye with one hand as he held the phone with the other.

“Why do I have 10 missed calls from you Robin?” Steve says with a grunt as he finally reaches the bottom of the stairs. She immediately rushes towards him, grabbing him by the shoulders as his eyes widen at her.

“Something is fucking wrong, I don’t know what even happened but you need to tell–”

“Robin!?” Her head snapped almost as it turned to look at Eddie, running down the stairs, skipping a few even and almost falling in his hurry. Robin frowned at his yelling as she let go of Steve and Eddie rushed towards her. She could see bags underneath his eyes from lack of sleep, his hair was a mess and scrunched up into what looked like a bun and he simply seemed drained.

“Eddie, jesus fuck, you have to help me!” Robin lets go of Steve who was now very much awake and aware that something wasn’t right. He looked at Billy for answers but the blonde boy simply shrugged at him, still with the worried frown in his eyebrows.

“First, you fucking help me, she is not answering to any of my texts or my calls! She told me she needed time alone!” Robin winced at his words, shaking her head at him as she put her face in her hands in despair. You wouldn’t even talk to Eddie? How can he help you if you cannot even talk to him?

“She regressed.” The three boys were looking at Robin for more explanation, but Eddie’s heart was already at his throat. He was hoping that it didn’t mean what he thought she meant. He was hoping that this was not happening, not with all the progress you made. He was hoping that this was not happening, right before he got the chance to–

“What do you mean she regressed?” Billy dared to ask. He was looking at Eddie, not even at Robin because he was worried about his friend, his friend that was looking at Robin with fear in his eyes. His friend that hasn’t slept since friday. His friend that is going to have a heart attack if he doesn’t speak to you soon.

“She’s back to square one.” She puts her hands down as she looks up at Eddie with tears in her eyes. “I don’t know what happened, her new clothes are all in trash bags, as well as her make up I think? We went to get coffee an hour ago and she couldn’t even fucking look at the guy behind the counter.”

Eddie’s world crumbled.

His shoulders sagged as his breathing stopped, feeling as if his soul was coming out of his mouth. No… No, no, no. That couldn’t be right, everything was fine friday morning, everything was amazing friday morning, everything was perfect friday morning. It cannot be, it surely cannot be… Did he do something wrong? He talked to you later that day and you didn’t respond, not until midnight where you told him that you needed time alone to think about stuff.

That had already stabbed him once in the chest. Did you regret what happened? Did you regret him? Did he overstep? Did he read the signs… wrong? But now, knowing the reason why you didn’t want to talk to him was enough to actually kill him. How could it happen? How did you regress? Did something happen to you on that day? Did he say something in the morning that wasn’t to your liking? Was it because he had to leave? Did you think he was done because he left for work?

“Robin… Please tell me it is a joke.” Robin simply looked up at Eddie, dropping her hands from her face with her eyebrows meeting in the middle. She shook her head at him, and he huffed as he brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he tried to think rationally. He had to go see you. He had to meet with you. He had to talk to you. Fear was crippling all over his body at the thought that he was the reason for your regression.

“No… And I don’t know what happened…” Robin’s eyes lit up as she looked at Eddie who was still clenching his eyes together in thought. Fridays. “Did she come here on Friday?” Eddie opened his eyes with a confused frown in his eyebrows.

“I wasn’t here on friday, I was working.” He shortly replies and Robin blinked and tilted her head in confusion. Fridays were Eddie’s day off, she clearly remembers because you were always excited about Fridays coming up. You were always preparing your next Friday night with Eddie as soon as last Friday finished. So that leaves–

“Shit.”

Everyone’s eyes landed on the brown haired man that was standing in the living room with a lost look in his eyes as he stared at the floor, a frown in his eyebrows as his head slightly moved as if he were remembering images of a movie inside of his head, and then, his eyes clenched as if he were in pain, running a hand along his face in complete despair.

“Steve?” Robin was afraid of what was happening to her friend, not liking his movements at all, not as if he is remembering something that he is regretting at this very moment.

“Shit… Shit, shit, shit.” Steve started pacing back and forth, his fingers running up into his scalp as he held tightly onto his hair. Eddie was immediately on his ass, stepping closer to his friend as his ears started tingling with anticipation, with even more fear than before, knowing something definitely happened now, and it had nothing to do with what happened between the two of you.

“What is going on? Steve?” Billy’s voice was strong, but it was mixed with nervousness now because Steve looked anything… but innocent.

“Fuck, she told me to not tell you she came over, I was fucked up in medication and–” Steve was breathing heavily as his memory started to become clearer each second it passed and he cursed at himself at each word he remembered.

“Steve, what the fuck did you say to her?” Eddie sounded nervous, afraid, and Robin caught on that, looking at him with a confused frown in her eyebrows. Steve let a heavy sigh out of his lips as he looked at Eddie with pity written all over his face, as well as regret.

“I’m so sorry Eddie, I– Fuck, it was before you told us about it, and… shit, she couldn’t even look me in the eye and I didn’t fucking notice–” Eddie’s mind was racing. You came here on friday, the day you always knew it was his day off, and he wasn’t here, and Steve–

“Please tell me you didn’t.” Eddie almost whispers, but not quite, it was more of a threatening tone towards his friend, and Steve could only look at Eddie with regret flashing into his eyes.

“I told her… I told her that you were at your second job.”

Everyone froze. Everyone except Robin, who was confused, looked back and forth between the three men. Second job? What did he mean? Why are the three of them completely frozen? Why is Eddie turning whiter at each second that passes? Why is Steve looking so guilty?

“Second… job?” Robin dared to ask and Steve winced, clenching his eyes shut as he gulped and looked down at the floor.

“I didn’t want you to judge me… So I never told you about it…” Steve licked his lips as he looked up at Robin this time, not daring to look at Eddie, not right now, not this second. “We sometimes… fuck our clients… sometimes for money, sometimes–”

Everything was interrupted when Eddie let out a big scoff, almost as if what he just heard was unbelievable. Steve told you that, Steve fucking told you that right after Eddie slept with you. Nobody knows about you two, and if they do, it wasn’t thanks to his mouth. He didn’t talk about you in that way with anyone, and he now sees how fucking stupid it was to do that.

If he had told his friends about what was going on with you sooner, they’d understand and encourage it. If he had told his friend about what happened between you two, they would know what they could say and what they couldn’t. If he had told his friends about his decision sooner, rather than yesterday night, Steve wouldn’t have opened his mouth the way he did with you on Friday.

But he couldn’t blame his friend. Yet, the anger was still deep in his chest as he shook his head at Steve, who only gulped as he looked at Eddie.

“Eddie, I didn’t know… I didn’t even know you didn’t tell her–” But Eddie couldn’t hear anything else any longer. His only thought was you, he needed to get to you, he needed to see you, to talk to you, to clear things up, to tell you what he feels for you, to make you understand him, hoping you would.

“Steve, if I don’t fix things up with her, I am shaving your fucking head.” Eddie was already marching up towards the door after grabbing the keys from the keyholder next to the door. He could hear Steve sighing behind him and Robin’s mind puzzle was slowly putting itself together, and as it did, she rushed towards Eddie to stop him, grabbing onto his arm, making him look at her with a frown to his face, only to be met with rage behind Robin’s eyes.

“If what Steve said is right, then you are the fucking reason for her regression!” Robin was enraged. She knew that you felt something for Eddie, and she also knew about you going out with him on thursday. She also knew you two had kissed, because of course Steve was not going to not tell her about how he kissed you himself and that you didn’t even flinch, telling her how amazed he was with your progress. She knew, and she knew now that Eddie had fucked up.

“Robin– It’s not what you think–” Billy tried to stop Robin but she wasn’t having it, not letting go of Eddie’s arm at all.

“He is just going to keep hurting her, so don’t you dare fucking go Munson.” Eddie’s eyes were still locked into Robin’s as his face scrunched up, guilt and anger mixing together as he looked down at her.

“I never meant to hurt her. Not even once. You’re not the only one that cares about her, not anymore Buckley.” He replied back in the same manner that she was talking to him. They were both glaring at one another, invisible daggers being thrown and Robin was still not letting go of Eddie’s arm.

“Robin…” Steve slowly approached her and put a hand over her shoulder, making her look at him with anger in her eyes. “Let him go. Let him talk to her please…” And everyone noticed that guilt that was pooling in Steve’s mouth, and everyone could see it in the pained frown that took place in his eyebrows. Robin’s eyes softened as she looked at her friend, and then turned back to Eddie. Eddie’s eyes were different now, almost begging her for something, and Robin slowly let go of his arm.

“She won’t answer you.” Eddie licked his lips as he looked at the door, thinking of a way to talk to you, to get you to open the door for him. His eyes lit up, looking back at Robin.

“But she will answer you.”

You finally decided to take a shower, after these past few days you did not want to leave your bed at all. You were rubbing the towel on your wet hair as you walked to your drawers to throw on your grey leggings, a plain white shirt and a long oversized white hoodie over you. You looked at yourself in the mirror as you started combing your hair with your fingers and god… Your eyes.

They were puffy, too puffy, and the bags under them were not helping the situation. You just looked like a monster, a very tired monster. You dragged your feet towards your dirty laundry basket, throwing the towel in there. Your eyes then scanned over the sheets on your bed, making you wince almost in pain. You have to. You have to do it.

So first, you took the covers off your pillows, then your sheets, then the fitted ones, throwing them into the basket as well. Okay, that’s done. You walked over to your closet and tiptoed to reach up into the tallest shelf to retrieve new sheets. Your heart was tugging at you as you dressed your bed in its new soft fabric, the smell of softener just filling the air and the sweet cologne was already gone. You wanted to have just one more smell as you put the comforter over your bed, looking at the laundry basket. You shook your head at how creepy that was.

You gulped loudly as you walked out of your room, seeing all the trash bags still resting against the wall, waiting for you to take them out. You took a deep breath in as you pressed a hand against your forehead, your belly turning at every moment it could, the memories just coming back, your brain reminding you of how naive you were, the nagging feeling of what could have been, and the grief of losing a dear friend.

How were you going to move on from this? Is there a possible way to mend your heart back? To return to your old self? Because even that person is broken. Even the person that you were before all of this is completely shattered, and it’s like you don’t know yourself any longer. Who are you? What do you like? What do you look for? What are you yearning for? What is going to happen to you?

You felt lost. Completely, and utterly lost.

The ringing of your phone brought you back to reality, The Shire filled the room with its calming tone, not at all matching with the storm that you had inside yourself. You walked towards the coffee table to grab onto it, seeing Robin calling. Should you answer? Should you talk to her? You don’t even know what you could possibly talk to her about, knowing she was just going to keep pestering you about everything.

It stops ringing and you sigh, almost in relief, only for it to start ringing again. Now worry was filling your chest because maybe something happened. She was probably hurt or something, so now you didn’t doubt when you pressed the button to answer her call, a heavy breathing Robin already on the other side.

“Robs–”

“I can’t believe I already got into my first fight with her!” You hear your friend on the other side, her breathing invading your ears, and you straighten up at the sound of her distress.

“What? Are you okay Robs?” You asked her, and you knew that she wasn’t okay at all, not by the sound of her breathing against the phone.

“No, no, I’m not… Please tell me you’re home…” Her voice softened and you blinked and looked at the door, rushing towards it to unlock it.

“Yeah, I unlocked the door, just come on up!” You tell her and you can hear a soft thank you from her before she hangs up. You started at your phone as you processed the events in your head. Robin got together with Vickie and something already happened between the two? You shook your head and you walked towards your room to look for your scented candles.

Everytime something happened to one of your friends, you always prepared the place with scented candles, incense, anything that might calm them. You didn’t have ice cream this time though. Shit. Maybe you can go later on with her to get some. It could also be that Robin was exaggerating because she has liked Vickie for a long time, so maybe the most minuscule of things might have happened with them two, and she was just elevating it all to a hundred.

You walked out of your room, your back towards the door as you placed the candles on the coffee table. You chose rosemary and lavender, to have some fresh and cleansing energy in the room. The door opened and closed, and you sighed, straightening up and turning around to greet your friend. Only for your air to be knocked out of your lungs, as if a punch was thrown right into your chest.

Why is he here?

Your heart was beating into your ears as your whole body froze as you stared at him. He was breathing heavily, as if he ran the flight of stairs all the way to your floor. His hair was completely messy even if it were in a bun, his jacket was on his hand, his arms on his sides, the shadow of his beard all over his jaw, over the top of his lip as well. He was just staring back at you with a frown in his face, but his eyes caught the bags on his peripheral vision, and that’s when you snapped out of the trance, giving your back to him.

You clenched your chest tightly as you felt nausea in your stomach, your body slightly trembling at how close he was, and the room was shrinking on you. What is going on? Robin was the one coming up, so why is Eddie here? Why? Did Robin lie to you? Why would she do this to you? Why would she deceive you like this? After what you told her just a few hours ago, how could she do this to you?

This is not right. This is not okay. Your breathing was heavy as dizziness filled your head. So many emotions were running through your body, sadness, nervousness, anger, happiness, excitement, and you don’t know which one to focus on. Your guts were turning at each second, each breath you heard from him as the world stood still for the both of you.

You asked for time, you asked him to leave you alone, and here he is in the flesh, barging into your home. Barging into the home of a friend he lied to. Barging into the home of someone he deceived and shaped to his own liking. Barging into the home of someone he said he cared about and slept with, only to cleanse his body afterwards. You didn’t want the reminder of it, you didn’t want him to make excuses, you didn’t want any of that.

You just wanted him out of your house.

“What the fuck?” He called out your name, and you didn’t turn around, not when you heard his voice since Friday happened. Was it possible to miss someone’s voice? How could it happen? Why is it happening? Why does it give you a warm feeling despite the pain he made you go through? Why does he have this much effect on you? You know what he did, you know what his plan was, so why does his mere voice make you happy?

You heard his footsteps going closer to the bags, and your panic settled in. He is going to touch that stuff, the stuff he said looked good on you. The stuff you bought that might catch his attention. The stuff that he recommended to you, and you went and bought it for yourself. Stuff that he didn’t even know you bought. Stuff that you decided that looked good on you at that time and simply got it, but you know that those tastes were settled in your brain by him.

“G-Get out.” You muster to actually get your voice out of your lips, and you heard Eddie’s steps stopping. He was looking at the back of your head, a storm settling inside of him on hearing those words from you, how shaky you sound, how your body slightly trembles. But he wasn’t going to follow your orders.

“I am not leaving until you listen to me.” He states and your ears were ringing. He never went against your wishes, and that was making the anger elevate a little bit more. He was always patient with you, following your rhythm and now he is denying your request.

“I-I don’t want to talk to you!” You clenched your eyes as your shoulders raised up a bit to brace yourself for anything that he might say. His eyes hardened on your form, and his right eye twitched as he looked at the bags again.

“What are these bags?” He asks you, but he knows the answer. He just wants to know how much damage was caused, and from what he could see, quite a lot. Everything was in the bags, from your makeup to your jackets. He clenched his own eyes as a sting of pain shot through his heart, the purple dress peeking out from one of the bags.

“I said get out!” You screech again and Eddie’s patience finally breaks. He was always careful with you, always listened to you, and now you don’t want to listen to him. He understands your pain, he understands what your mind went through this past weekend, but he will not take it today. He will not let you run away, drive him out of your house, even if you call the police on him.

“I told you I am not leaving until you fucking listen to me!” Your eyes widened as your body froze up. This was the first time Eddie had cussed at you. This was the first time that Eddie raised his voice towards you. You didn’t like it, you really didn’t like it. Why is he mad? Why is he the one that’s angry? After what he did?

“I don’t want to listen to you!” You yell back, annoyance now mixing with your anger, and your nerves were slipping out of your fingertips as the walls just closed more on you. Eddie slammed his jacket onto the counter, patience gone by now, and it made you flinch, jump on your spot.

“You will listen to me, because I am not leaving at all until you do.” Eddie’s feelings were everywhere. He was scared and saddened by your reaction, from what Steve said to you, for how you acted towards it, and he was sad your mind was your worst enemy. But he was also angry by the fact that you wouldn’t even listen to him. That you don’t even give him a chance, letting your mind cloud every single patch of sun there might be, that there once was.

It was not of Eddie to be this persistent. You wanted to turn around and look at him, but you knew that it was a bad idea. A very bad idea to look into the eyes of a man that looked at every part of your body, the eyes of a man that looked into yours, telling you that he had wanted you for a long time. The eyes of a man that you thought shared the same feelings as you did, only for everything to be an act, to be a lie, to be a complete trick that you stupidly fell for.

“I said I don’t want–”

“Did everything that happened between us mean nothing to you?” You straightened up, wondering if you heard him right. What? “Seriously, I thought you trusted me enough to come talk to me about this, not let your mind race like it did!” What the hell… What the actual–

“I said get out!” You yelled again, and your heart was a turmoil of emotions right now, feeling the nausea just building and building, your head now lightweight with dizziness as it spiraled.

“Jesus fuck.” Eddie took a deep breath in. He needed to calm himself down because even if he was hurt too, your pain was greater than his and he has to understand that. He understands that it must have not been easy for you, hearing that right after you two slept together, and Eddie honestly can’t blame anyone but himself for it. “That night–”

“NO!” Your hands immediately shot to your ears, covering them, your eyes clenching tightly in an attempt to block him out, not wanting to hear it from his mouth. Hearing it from Steve was more than enough and you do not want to relive that experience. Eddie knew you weren’t going to listen to him willingly, but there’s no chance that he is walking out of your apartment without talking. He took more steps towards you, standing behind you for you to listen to him despite your ears being covered.

“I know what Steve said to you.” He begins as his heart wants to come out of his throat, looking up at the ceiling. “I was at my second job.”

Your ears buzzed at the confession, your eyes now burning with incoming tears as your heart broke even more if it were possible. Why is he doing this to you? Why is he clarifying what you already knew? Is he just rubbing the salt on the wound for pleasure? Does he think that everything is going to be better just because he explains it all himself when he should have done it when he met you?

“I don’t want to hear–”

“I did hide it from you… As I hid it from everyone else, even Steve.” Your eyebrows frowned at that, his words not making any sense at all. Steve was the one that told you about his second job, Steve was the one that told you he was with a client. What does he mean? Why is he confusing you this way? You shook your head in between your hands, not wanting to hear him any longer.

“Please, stop–”

“Before I met you, I did, in fact, sleep with clients for the money… It was a good income, an extra one…” He took a deep breath in as he looked at the back of your head again, seeing your shoulders shake slightly, and all he wanted was to hold you close to him, caress you, soothe you and calm you down. “But after meeting you… I started declining calls, offers…”

A tear rolled down your cheek as you heard him talk. Is he telling you the truth? Does this mean that he wasn’t with a client on Friday night? Does this mean that he never got together with a client right after meeting with you? Your heart was painfully beating inside your chest now, as confusion was making your body heat start to increase, blood just pumping all the way to your fingertips and your head.

“I don’t get it…” You softly say to him. He gulped heavily as he licked his lips, looking down at the floor to try to make his nerves calm down, even if a little bit.

“I was at work on Friday.” What? That wasn’t right, Eddie’s friday nights were his day off. Was he lying to you again? Was this another trick?

“You don’t work on Fridays.” You reply to him, almost bitterly and you hear him sigh behind you.

“I do now, because I am not on stage any longer.” That made your hands drop from your ears, shock just making you freeze in your place as you took in his words, trying to make them make sense in your brain. On stage? He works Fridays now?

“Wh-What do you mean?” Eddie’s breathing grew heavy as he pushed the gulp of nerves that was trapped in his throat. He was hoping that his words were getting through you because this is the scariest thing he has ever done. The feelings that are deep inside of him frightened him everyday.

“For the past month, I’ve been training for another job at the club. Bartending.”

Your eyes were fixed forward, looking at the window, feeling his presence right behind you. Nothing was making sense. Nothing at all. How could he hide that fact? Why didn’t he talk to Steve or Billy about it? How did they not notice this? How was it all possible? The need to turn around to face him was slowly increasing, wanting to see his features, read him, know if he was being honest.

“How– Why didn’t you tell me?” That was the first question that left your mouth, not caring about the rest. Why didn’t he tell you this? He still hid something from you, even if it isn’t as painful, he still didn’t tell you about it, and there must be a reason for it. A reason that you might not like and that’s why he didn’t say anything.

But you were wrong. You were so wrong. Eddie’s hands trembled as he took the ponytail off his hair, letting it down so he could run his fingers through it in complete nervousness. His breathing was deep, trying really hard to control it but it was impossible, because here is where he is going to take the leap.

This is where everything between the two of you actually changes.

“Because… I was waiting for it to be official… for you.”

What?

What did he just say?

Did you hear him right?

You stood still, eyes wide, blood completely gone from your body and you don’t even know how it’s even functioning. You don’t feel your hands, your feet, your heart, nothing. You were frozen, from head to toe. You knew that your brain was yelling something, you knew there was a buzzing in your ears, a very distant one as you slowly started to process his words, and when you did, your body started to turn by its own accord. You weren’t controlling it. It was as if you were magnetized to him.

Your eyes finally met his, and you saw him. His brows were slightly furrowed, nervousness all over his features, his brown eyes searching for yours, desperately. His face was flushed, cheeks in a tint of red that you were sure was spreading to his ears. You felt your heart working again, starting at a slow pace, only to increase in a matter of seconds, and you felt the fingertips of your hands start to tremble once again.

“W-What?” It’s all you could say. It’s all you could ask. You don’t know what is going on any longer, and Eddie knew that you were confused. Too confused, but his heart now hurts from seeing the red puffy eyes that had bags underneath them, almost mimicking his, and knowing that he was the cause of it, was cutting him like a knife.

“I really wasn’t planning on doing it like this… The call I received that morning– It was Joyce. I forgot I had the bartending afternoon shift.” The gears in your brain were going and going, processing every word, every eye movement, every breath that was coming out of his mouth, and every piece of information that he was giving you. Joyce… His boss. His boss was the one calling him that morning. It wasn’t a client. It wasn’t someone else.

“I–” You were speechless, you really didn’t know what to say, you have no idea how to even digest this information. Eddie sighed at your lost eyes, but he had to be honest with you, just put his heart on the plate for you, pushing the fear and nervousness away because the only thing that mattered to him right now, was you.

“I didn’t tell Steve, nor Billy. I lied to them saying… I was going to see clients but I was going back to the club to train… Shit.” He looked down from you as he stepped back to start pacing, slowly, because he was feeling as if his heart was just beating all over his body. “That’s why Steve said what he said on Friday.”

This… is this real? He is actually saying this to you? You are not making it up? How is this happening? You didn’t notice that a tear was rolling down your cheek as your gear suddenly turned, stopping from going backwards, and they started going forward again, almost at a rapid pace, making you slightly dizzy at the amount of information that it was processing in a single moment.

“I– I don’t understand…” Eddie sighed as he looked at you, his shoulders sagging slightly as his guts turned and turned, knowing he had to explain himself even further, say words that he was afraid of saying for a long time, but it would explain everything he did. Everything he did in order to be suitable.

“Sweetheart, I–... I didn’t do it just because I didn’t have the extra income of…” He shook his head, deciding to not mention that part of him any longer. “I wanted to have a chance, and I knew that I would do anything for it.”

“A- A chance? For what?” Your heart was almost exploding, not only because of your nerves, but because there was something in his eyes that was making you feel alive again, making you feel like yourself, making you tremble with all of those feelings you have for him, those feelings that have yet to be said, but for some reason… His eyes are something that makes you hopeful, and this is what you were anticipating.

“Angel, I… I fell for you, in ways you cannot even imagine.”

Time froze.

The world stopped turning.

The moon stopped gravitating around it as well.

The entire galaxy, including its stars, including its milky ways, including the expanse of nothingness, everything just simply stopped.

Those words out of his mouth, those simple yet strong words were everything you anticipated. Everything you had been waiting for. That feeling of wanting more, and more, and more, it wasn’t just physical, it was because you wanted him, in every form, in soul, in any way he had to offer. This was the ‘more’ that was chanting in your head everyday and at every minute that you looked at him.

Your hearts could be heard across the room, beating rapidly at the same time, as the two of you simply stood there, looking at one another, breathing heavily with your chests going up and down. Eddie had a nervous frown on his face, while you were just frozen in place. Patience returned to him, and he waited. He waited for you to answer, for you to say something, anything at all. And even in your own bliss that was beginning to blossom, eyes burning from the incoming tears from the emotions you cannot handle any longer, there was still an insecure side of you. A part that didn’t let go quite yet.

“You– for me? Or–” Your eyes traveled towards the bags, and he followed your gaze, and he now understood. He now got the idea of why you put everything away, another sting of pain shooting into his heart that navigated all the way to his feet. He turned to face you again, his eyes looking into yours and you had to know. You had to know his thoughts.

“I found you beautiful back when you first sat down in front of me at the coffee shop… The day we went to the bar together and you started rambling about Harry Potter just…–” A small laugh left his lips at the realization of how deep his feelings were for you. He knew they were big, but he is realizing it all just now that they’re just huge, not quite love, but still surprising from it happening so fast. “When I saw you in your purple dress, I just, I didn’t think you could get more beautiful but– Fuck, you proved me wrong sweetheart.”

Your eyes were burning from the intensity of his words, and they were simply attaching themselves in every inch of your body, soaking them into your flesh, into your brain. You didn’t think that he found you attractive since before actually becoming friends, since before you started buying other clothes, before you started wearing make-up, heels, making your hair look nicer.

“R-Really?” You sounded so small, so fragile, but he was going to make sure to get his feelings across with you, he was going to make sure that you knew that you were indeed beautiful, confident, and that you are your own person despite what your head might think.

“Really… Even when I came here to watch movies with you and Robin, and you were with your Pikachu sweatpants and a plain shirt, I thought you looked so cute… In the sense of– I wanted to kiss you so bad that night Angel. So fucking bad.” You blinked at his words, remembering that night. It was still on your early outings, getting to know each other, and Robin was always present at those. You were on your period and all you wanted to do was wear comfortable clothes.

“B-But that was before we…” And he nodded, knowing what you were meaning, a red tint covering his cheeks as he looked at the floor.

“Before we even kissed. I know… And when we did, you seriously have no idea how much I had to hold myself back with you. I curse the moment that Billy and Steve walked through that door and interrupted us.” He gulped loudly and your fingertips were burning, almost itching with the need to grab onto him, of pulling him into you, your heart just pumping blood loudly into your ears.

“But when… When Steve–” More words were coming out of your mouth now, as the desperation of your excitement was getting the best of you. Your happiness was slowly returning to you, as euphoria burst from your ears, from your pores, from every single cell your body possibly has.

“Don’t get me started on that. I never wanted to rip a friend’s head before, but my fingertips almost went through the cushion I was sitting on from how bad I was clenching my fist… And then the fucking date–” He rapidly says as a hint of annoyance was found in his voice. He was jealous. He was jealous that Steve had kissed you, and you didn’t notice. You didn’t see it.

“Why– Why didn’t you say anything?” You took a step forward to him, very small, but he noticed, and his heart could not contain its joy as it began jumping inside his chest cavity.

“I didn’t want to scare you off. I wanted to make sure that… You knew what you wanted, that you had a choice that you could make yourself…” His eyes were looking into your once lost ones. They were focusing even more, at each word his mouth let out. Your breathing was almost trembling as you kept looking at him.

“And when… When did you…” Your face was flushing all over, heat invading every single part of your body as you looked down from his face. A soft smile appeared on his cheeks as he took one small step towards you.

“When you called me beautiful.” Your eyes widened as you locked them with his, surprised by his words. Your stomach turns with the information, trying to process it fully and let it sink that this man, this amazing man, actually feels something for you, and that it’s in the same magnitude as your feelings.

“T-That long?” Eddie’s eyes were intense as he looked at you, another step being taken as your face started to morph into that of a happy surprise, a happy excitement, and you were just glowing and Eddie knew. Eddie knew you felt the same way now, making him think that this must be a dream. This cannot be real. The girl he’s been wanting for the past two months wants him back, in the same way he wants her.

“Angel, do you have any idea how hard it is to find someone like you?” You were now gazing at him, completely entranced by his face, his voice, his scent, everything simply invading all of your senses, and you were loving it. You were adoring it. You were bathing in it. And Eddie, even if confident because he was looking at your body movement, he had to know. He had to make sure that this was real, that this was happening to him. “What about you?”

And that is the question that made you freeze again. This was another turning point, and the path that was ahead of the both of you now looked foggy, not knowing where it was headed, not knowing if it would be worth the dive or not, not knowing what the two of you might be like later on, what you two will be doing, or what you two will encounter.

But that was the adrenaline of it all, because despite all that fear, all that insecurity, all that uncertainty, you still wanted more. You wanted more, with him. You wanted the normal, you wanted the eccentric, you wanted the happiness, you wanted the sadness, you also wanted the possible little fights you two might have, and you wanted those nights where you would be tangled into one another’s arms. It’s always more, and it will never be enough. Not with him.

“I– I want you.”

Eddie’s breathing almost stopped at your words. He wanted to sigh out of happiness, out of relief, out of excitement. His ears were not deceiving him as well as your eyes that were looking at him with intensity like never before. This was the most certain you looked. This is something you were confident on, and you were showing it. You were confident that you wanted him.

“Like…?” He asked one more time, and this was the first time that you saw Eddie lose his confidence. This was the first time that the roles were reversed. This is how you looked before meeting him, and you now realize how desperate you are becoming to not let him think that way. You were desperate to show him what your feelings were. You didn’t want him to doubt you or himself. So you took a step forward, and now, you were just inches apart, and you looked up at him, stained cheeks and red eyes, as a soft smile crossed your lips.

“Like I want to make chocolate chip pancakes for you every morning.”

Eddie’s face immediately lit up at your words, a big dimpled smile spreading on his lips, red cheeks that beamed down at you, as his hair cascaded all around his shoulders, just like that first night you met him. His face mirrored yours, and the only difference was the tears that were rolling down your face, and these tears were different from the ones you wasted these two days. Those were tears of someone that didn’t trust in herself, tears of someone that didn’t have confidence even in her own confidence.

But now, your tears are those of a woman who knows what she wants. A woman that is confident that the man before him feels the same as she does. A woman that is willing to fight for her desires and her dreams. Tears of pure happiness as this new feeling envelops the two of you and just swallows you in for god knows how much time. Hopefully, a long, long time.

His hands raised up to hold onto your face, wiping your tears away with his thumbs as they softly caressed your cheeks. Your breathing heavy as his was, your hands traveling to his waist to grip onto his shirt tightly as you inched forward to him and he didn’t even hesitate when he leaned down, not wanting to waste another second apart from you, and he pressed his lips against yours.

Sparks flew all around you, stars rained down on you as the world started spinning again, slowly, time started ticking, the galaxy was once again moving and the moon was rotating around earth. This time, everything was moving with him, every step the two of you took was going to be a journey, together or by your own.

Your lips moved with his as the kiss grew deep, wanton, but not desperate, not rough, not lustful, at least not yet. You were both tasting each other, tasting one another’s feelings, tasting what you were both missing for the past two days, even for the past month because you didn’t know how to describe your feelings, and he for not talking at all. He pulled away, but didn’t leave the space of your lips as he talked.

“You–” A deep peck. “Have–” Another one and this time it caused you to giggle in your throat. “No idea–” A series of soft pecks, moving his head from one side to the other, making you smile against his lips. “How long I waited for this.” You were both breathing heavy as he stayed hovering over your lips, and you gulped, looking up into his eyes.

“I– I would have never made you… Quit– You didn’t have to do that…” You say to him, and he knew it was the truth. Even with your feelings, all this time, you never questioned him about his job, you never said anything about it, and even if you two got together, you probably would have never told him to quit.

“I know… I know you wouldn’t have… But that doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t bother you, and honestly, the last thing I want is to hurt you, in any way, and that includes you feeling insecure.” Your eyes teared up at his words, because he was right. You would have felt that way, you would have felt insecure but not because he would cheat, but because you knew the women there were more voluptuous, more feminine, more pretty, richer…

“But, won’t Billy and Steve miss you?” Eddie smiles at you as a soft chuckle vibrates in his throat, making you gulp from how beautiful he is sounding right now to you.

“I will be bartending near them… I still have to do some stripping over the bar, but I cannot be touched. All the money goes into the tip jar… And let me tell you, I will make more than when I stripped on stage.” You stare up at him, not believing that this man had changed his job for you, to be suitable for you, to have the chance of giving you a peaceful mindset when being with him.

“So…” Your face flushed as you tried to speak, ask him that important question that, once again, will change it all. He grinned down at you, making your heart skip a beat.

“Hmm… You’re mine and I’m yours… How does that sound?” Your heart almost exploded at those words, a smile spreading on your face as you jumped from your feet, and his eyes widened but a laugh escaped his lips as your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms around his shoulders. His arms wrapped around your frame as he tilted his head back to look at your face.

“It sounds like we can have Mario Kart nights while eating anchovy pizza.” He groaned with delight, rolling his head all around as he heard those words out of your mouth, making you laugh at his antics.

“Fuck yes… and then we can have desert…” He smirks as he leans his face towards your neck, planting a soft kiss on your skin as you gasp slightly at the touch. You bit your lip as you closed your eyes, diving into the feeling of him being close to you again. His warmth mixing with yours, both of your scents lingering in the air, and this is everything you could have wanted.

And possibly more.

“Robin!” You suddenly screeched, making Eddie’s eyes widen and pull away from you, looking all around for the girl mentioned.

“What’s wrong with Robin?”

“She said she got into a fight with Vickie! I should call her to–” Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, throwing his head back, and you tilted your head completely confused as you looked at him. “What’s so funny?”

“Angel…” He looked at you, trying to hold in his laughter as he raised an eyebrow at you. Your gears worked, and worked, and it clicked. Your eyes widened as your face turned into that of an offended one and you slapped Eddie’s shoulder, making him wince through his laughter.

“You tricked me!” He was about to reply to you, but then you both heard a shuffling at the door, and some mumbling. Suddenly the handle moved down, and the door opened, only for Robin and Steve to tumble down to the floor after Billy had opened the door from the side. Both you and Eddie stared at the situation as Robin rubbed her hip as she stood up and Steve rubbed his chest, getting on his own two feet.

“Jesus fuck, that hurt Hargrove!” Robin shrieks and Billy simply rolled his eyes and nodded towards you and Eddie, where you were still hugging him tightly with your whole body while he held you up. Robin and Steve turn to look at the both of you, and their faces blush a deep red. You immediately jump off Eddie, and he looks at you to see your face, waiting for the embarrassment to appear, but the only thing he sees is an angry frown, making him tilt his head in confusion.

“So, uh, you guys cleared things up?” Steve says with a nervous smile as he gulps while looking at you.

“Steve!” You took steps forward towards the brown haired guy and he yelled slightly, running towards your kitchen as you tried to grab him. Eddie snorted to then laugh at the scenario of Steve using Billy to shield himself from you, as the blonde man groaned in annoyance.

“First I gotta babysit you two eavesdropping and now I’m a fucking shield!?” You huffed in exasperation as you glared at Steve while he peered at you from over Billy’s shoulder. Your sight moved towards Robin who had a small smile on her face. You immediately rushed towards her, arms wrapping around her as she reciprocated the hug, holding you close.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again.” Robin softly says into you and you could only nod. You were so blind by your feelings for Eddie that you forgot your own. You forgot who you were, who you’ve become, and how much you loved that person that you turned into. How much you enjoy her, how much excitement she brought to your life.

“Can everyone leave so I can spend time with my girlfriend?” Eddie says with a groan as he walks over to you and Robin, and the blonde girl rolls her eyes as she lets go of you. Your body heated up at his words. Girlfriend. You were his, and he is yours. Your boyfriend. You have a boyfriend you actually have feelings for. A boyfriend you are attracted to. A boyfriend that no matter how many times you see him in the week, in the day, you wouldn’t get tired of, ever.

“Don’t you hoard her. She was mine first.” Eddie rolls his eyes at Robin, and wraps an arm around your shoulders to pull you back into his embrace, a smile appearing on your lips as your chest hits his. He smiles down at you and Robin couldn’t help her own lips as they turned upwards as she looked at you. “Also, remember that we have to tell the girls now about… this.” She motioned at all the boys and you winced at that.

“Right…” You say to her, knowing that is going to be another big step, and you don’t know how your other friends will react, but hopefully they aren’t too angry with you. You could only hope.

“So, all forgiven?” Eddie and you slowly turned your heads to glare at the brown haired boy and Steve immediately grabbed Billy and Robin’s hands and started dragging them to the door as he gulped in fear. “We’ll leave!”

“Hey– But I wanted to–” Billy starts and Steve shushes him as he pushes them both out of the door, but before he could close it, Billy yelled. “I knew it, Munson! All along!” And the door closed, leaving you two alone in the apartment once again. You blinked at those words and slowly turned to look at Eddie who was blushing a deep red. He turned to you with a wince on his face.

“Billy is very perceptive.” For the ease of your mind, he didn’t tell you that Billy had actually heard you both that night. You hummed at that, still confused, but you were alone with him again, and his wince turned into a soft smile, leaning down to nuzzle his nose with yours. “You know what I feel like?”

“What?” You ask him with a small smile on your face, he leans to hover his lips against yours.

“Beating you at Mario Kart.” Your eyes open like plates as you pull away from him, and give him a squint. He chuckles at your reaction and you bite the inside of your cheek as a smirk appears on your lips this time.

“If I win again, you will watch the entire saga of Harry Potter with me, chronologically.” He throws his head back in laughter but still nods. He was planning on doing that with you anyway, the one thing you both have right now, is time. A lot of it.

“And if I win?” He asks in a sultry tone and your knees tremble at his voice, your heart in your throat as you tiptoe to plant a small peck on his lips.

“You won’t.” And your boyfriend’s eyes lit up with a new fire, with something that was burning you inside out.

“It’s on Angel.”

Do I wanna know? If this feeling flows both ways.

The End.

A/N: I am sobbing right now. It's the end of it all, but I won't let go of these two that easily. I thank everyone who interacted with the story, and recommended it, and was simply supportive of it. It was going to be a three part thing, and now we're at 8 and at the end!

I hope to keep giving you guys this same excitement with my other stories!

I repeat, always reblog your artists! That's the only way that engagement works on tumblr!

Taglist: @katethetank @mynameismothra @emxxblog @steph-speaks @fantasticmacaroni @aysheashea @sweet-villain @eddiemunsonthoughts @emilyslutface @bookshelf-dust @justheretostalk @vintagehellfire @trixyvixx @steeldaisies @bitchyseawitch @seventhlevelofhell @leelei1980 @kbakery @corroded-hellfire @poofyloofyy @nightonblogmountain @gothvamp1973 @hideoutside @mrsjellymunson @honey-eyed-munson @sarcastically-defensive17 @narutofan249277 @siriuslysmoking @hereforshmut @venuslayla23-blog @ghost-proofbaby

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bokutoko · 5 months ago

Note

Helloo! I saw your request open so I thought to myself let's ask something bout shoyoo!! I want to see how shoyo looks like in ur cute writing hehe, So may I ask for hinata shoyo with anything domestic related? I would love to live in a world where he's my husband. SORRY FOR THEBLONG ASK I hope you're alright with it, have a great day!

late nights

character: shoyo hinata

wc: 707

content: hinata’s new training schedule makes for long days, and you, as his biggest fan, try to wait up for him. does it work? (it doesn’t.)

a/n: MY SWEET ANON!!! i’m so sorry i’m answering this so late—writer’s block was eating me alive pls forgive me. in return, here’s some sweet shoyo <3

Everyone knew Hinata Shoyo was a hard worker—he put blood, sweat, and tears into his sport, gave 100% effort into everything he did. So when he was chosen to represent the Japan Men’s National Volleyball Team in the Olympics, he knew he had to start giving 120% daily. Even earlier mornings, later nights, longer practice days—he took it all in strides, just honored to be afforded this monumental opportunity as a pro-player.

His muscles ached from practice, his hair still damp from the quick locker-room shower. It began curling slightly at the ends as occasional droplets of water fell onto his shirt. A tired sigh left his lips as he opened the door to his humble little one-bedroom apartment.

He quietly entered and slipped off his shoes, the only noise in the apartment being the ticking of the clock. Though in his peripheral, he noticed a light on in the main room—were you still awake??

Entering the living room, the TV had Netflix’s “Are you still watching?” on the screen, and a bowl of what used to be popcorn—only a couple kernels left—sat on the table. He rounded the corner to find you lying on the couch, sleeping soundly, despite the bright TV casting a glow on your face.

Taking in the sight of you, he suddenly felt his cheeks grow hot. You were sporting one of his MSBY shirts—even now, he always reverted into a goofy, lovesick boy at the smallest actions and in the most innocent moments. A simple little kiss? His cheeks are scarlet. You whispering a soft I love you every night before bed? The tips of his ears burn. Just looking at him with a small smile and hearts in your eyes? With a stutter, he’d turn so red that you wouldn’t help but laugh.

By the state of your uncomfortable position on the couch, it was obvious you tried to stay awake to see his return, and his heart ached at the thought. He wished he could stay with you every day and never leave the comfort of your arms.

But of course, you understood the importance of this new adventure—you’d never want to get in way of his dreams. You knew just how hard your husband worked for this very moment, and here it was, staring him in the face and holding out a welcoming hand.

Hinata knelt down, his face level with yours as he studied your sleeping face. Your mouth was slightly parted, causing you to have the softest snore that he found so adorable. Your face was slightly smushed in one of the throw pillows that you picked out. He couldn’t help but smile as he reached a gentle hand to your face, gently tucking some hair behind your ear.

“Wakey wakey,” he whispered as he intertwined his fingers with yours and lightly squeezed your hand. Your eyes barely cracked open, and you let out a soft whine from the awkward position now leaving a crick in your back.

After blinking a couple times and making out some striking orange hair, you mumbled out a soft, “Sho?”

He smiled, his eyes soft with love. “Hey there, sunshine. C’mere,” he scooped you up and carried you like you were weightless, “let’s get you to bed.” You nuzzled into his neck, smelling the subtle citrus scent of his body wash. In the mere seconds it took to walk from the couch to your shared bed, Hinata figured you slipped back into dreamland again. While tucking you into bed, his voice was low and soothing as he whispered how he missed you, how he loved you.

Slipping between the bedsheets, his eyes caught your sleepy gaze. Turns out, you were awake. “I’m sorry I’m home so late,” he whispered, his fingers carding through your hair, “Go on back to sleep, pretty girl. I love you.”

With the moonlight slipping through the curtains, Hinata saw your cheek meet his wrist as you leaned into his touch. You hummed, pressing a soft kiss to his skin and mumbling, “Just glad you’re here now. I love you.”

And with that last declaration of unconditional love, Hinata fell asleep knowing he could do absolutely anything, so long as he had you by his side.

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please do not copy, alter, or repost my work. ©bokutoko 2024.

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alexiroflife · 7 months ago

Text

‘don’t hate me’

“Across the Earth” Part 2: satoru gojo x reader

part 1 | part 3

Synopsis: satoru struggles with your constant anger at him and ponders if you've ever cared about him the way he cares about you. his temporary solution to his conflict is to force you along with him to his villa

to sum it up: "why can't she love me?"

WC: 8,821

“Wakey, wakey!”

You groan as the blare of the sun irritates your eyes until you open, unsure of whether the voice that sang into your ear moments ago was a hallucination inspired by your sleepy state or not.

You rub your hand over your eyes, stretching your arms out and rolling over to find Satoru leaned over, his face inches away from yours with a dopey smile.

You screech, jumping up and shuffling to the other side of your bed, eyes wide as your vision adjusts to the blue eyed man’s figure standing at the edge of your bed with a to-go bag in hand. He chuckles to himself, looking over you mischievously. “Oops, didn’t mean to scare you.”

You grumble incoherently to yourself, adjusting to your steady regain of consciousness. You turn to look out the window and see that it is still early morning by the way the sun sits in the sky. You sigh and crawl over to your nightstand to reach for your phone, eyes hazy when you catch the time reading 9:05.

“What are you doing?” you exhale tiredly, throwing your legs over the edge of the bed and looking up at Satoru with sleepy eyes as you scratch your head. You miss the way he stumbles over his words slightly and averts his gaze for a second before he’s placing the paper bag he held onto your lap.

“Wishing you a happy morning,” he says. “I got you breakfast.”

You furrow your brows, peering into the bag’s contents to find a lox bagel with cream cheese, something you had loved for years. You blink, reaching in to grab it instantly, your mind fixing solely on hunger that bubbles at the sight of the bagel.

“You would not believe the line I had to wait in to get this thing. New Yorkers are so bossy, pushing each other around and yelling for no reason that early in the morning,” Satoru rambles about his first experience at a bakery in the city. “This one guy almost took off my head because I tried to move around to see the display case. He thought I was cutting the line or something.”

“You went out this morning?” you ask softly, peering up at him as you grasp the large bagel in your hands.

“Yeah, just got back,” he answers casually.

You hum in appreciation. “Thanks, Toru,” you say mindlessly before taking a huge bite.

Satoru’s cheeks warm slightly and he’s waving you off like it’s nothing. “So, what time are we heading out?”

You look at him inquisitively, mouth full. “We?” your muffled voice repeats.

“That’s what I said.”

You don’t have the capacity to ask further right now as you still wake yourself up. “In ‘firty I go,” you tell him, mouth full.

He snickers. “Thirty minutes?”

You nod.

“Alright then, you go get dressed and I’ll wait for you out here,” Satoru makes his way to the doorway leading to the living room. You furrow your brows, swallowing harshly.

“Wait,” you stop him. “What do you mean? Where’s Suguru and Shoko?”

“Out to breakfast.”

“...Why aren’t you with them?”

“Cause I was getting you breakfast.”

“But,” you shake your head. “Why are you waiting for me? You know I have somewhere to go soon.”

“Oh, that’s because I'm coming with you,” he smiles and you straighten up, perplexed.

“What?”

“I wanna see where you’re working.”

You purse your lips. “I don’t think that’s…”

“And I want to visit the museum.”

“...Okay, then can’t you visit later?”

Satoru tilts his head back over his shoulders, casting you a sarcastic gaze. “Why? ‘You pushing me away again already?”

“Um- no?! It’s just not professional for me to pull up to a meeting with my friend hanging around!”

He smiles. “Relax, I’ll be good. It’ll be like I’m not even there.”

“No, Satoru,” you stand, putting your bagel down to rummage through your drawers for an outfit. “I’ll see you after, but you can’t come with me.”

“Come on,” he complains dramatically. “Not even for a little bit?”

“No.”

“What if I just take a peek inside?”

“I said no.”

“Can’t you at least let me drive you there?”

You halt, turning to look at his pleading eyes. “And what about our friends who are out?”

“I can always go pick them up when they’re done,” he persuades. “Come on, come on,” he drawls. “Let me give you a ride, pretty please with a cherry on top?”

You exhale, pressing your lips into a straight line. “Alright, fine!” you begrudgingly accept. “But just one ride, and you don’t go inside. Got it?”

“How about two rides, one and there and back,” he presses.

“I don’t know when I’ll be done or what I’m doing after, Satoru.”

“Sure you do, you’re hanging with us, remember?” he reminds you of last night’s conversation.

“I never agreed to that.”

“That’s too bad, I wasn’t asking,” he grins.

“God, you’re so annoying! Okay, sure, whatever, two rides. But that’s it, you hear me? You’re not going into that museum while I’m meeting there.”

“Ugh, you wound me,” he frowns theatrically. “But I suppose that’s okay.”

“Yeah, yeah. Go away while I get dressed,” you dismiss him. “And take a shower while you’re at it.”

Satoru’s face falls in horror. “Do I stink?!”

You pinch your nose and pucker your lips in fake disgust. “Not yet, but the longer you keep those clothes on from yesterday without bathing, you will.”

“You’re so mean,” he pouts. “At least you don’t hear me saying anything about your morning breath.”

You grit your teeth, picking out a pair of random jeans and chucking them at the white haired man who caught them in his hand with ease. “Get out now!”

He laughs, turning to take your pants with you. “You’re not getting these back,” he sings, pulling the door closed behind him.

The two of you are refreshed and dressed on time for you to make it to the museum with a few minutes to spare. Satoru walks you to his rental car parked on the side of the street a few blocks down, a sleek black convertible with no hood greeting your sight.

You stare at the vehicle in agitated awe as Satoru holds the passenger seat door open for you, lenses of his dark glasses gleaming like the pride in his blue eyes as he watches your expression. “After you,” he says with a goofy tone.

You scoff, stepping into the car cautiously. There are times when Satoru’s wealth, though a constant fact nagging in the back of your head, truly astonishes you. This is the same guy who drops thousands at the mall every other weekend for fun when the group tags along, showering his money into registers like it’s nothing. And of course, there’s the fact that Satoru planned and booked a trip across the world within a day and managed to find a rental car and a villa that suits his expensive tastes. You roll your eyes. He’s so obnoxious with his money at times.

“You’re insane,” you mumble and he giggles, shutting the door behind you and rounding the car to step into the driver’s seat.

Despite Satoru’s privilege, however, he is and always has been a very very poor driver. You are sorely reminded of this fact when he weaves through the already hectic streets of New York, honking impatiently with his arm slung over the side and nearly ramming into bumpers at a stoplight, his driving matching his carefree personality and the chaos of the city rather well. You simply pray that you won’t die in the passenger seat of his car.

As some time passes, you look over and catch a glimpse of his stunning side profile as he drives, loose sweater teasing his collarbone and neck muscles while his veiny hand grips the wheel tight, fingers occasionally running over and thrumming against the leather.

Your eyes then drift down to his exposed forearms, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His muscles tense every now and then with the rotation of the wheel, his head throwing over his shoulder to glimpse behind him before merging sloppily.

He catches your eyes once as you’re staring, and you’re quick to look away, clearing your throat and hardening your eyes. It’s his turn to look at you now, seizing his opportunity when he hits another red light.

His blue eyes roam over your face, studying the curve of your brow and the subtle pout in your plump lips. He breathes in slowly, chest rising as the sight of your face makes his heart skip a beat. You blink a lot, he notices, your lashes fluttering against your soft cheeks, the curve of your cheekbone brightened by the glow of the morning sun.

He sees you turn to face him, round (e/c) eyes reaching his and making his throat run dry. He doesn’t look away, and his hearing is muffled until you nudge his shoulder harshly. Suddenly, the blare of car horns and your urgent voice registers.

“Satoru!” you shout. “The light!”

He looks up and sees that it has turned green and the car in front of him is long gone. He snorts, immediately slamming into the gas and jerking the two of you into motion. “Whoops,” he grins, and you’re flicking his forehead.

“Being in the car with you is a threat to my life, I swear,” you roll your eyes, turning to hide your flushed face.

“Wouldn’t you rather be with me than in a taxi?”

“What do you think?”

Satoru chuckles. “Sucks for you then, because as long as I’m around you’re riding with me.”

“Gee, I’m so lucky,” you quip sarcastically.

“I know right?”

After a grueling fifteen minutes, you finally pull up to the sidewalk by the museum behind a row of cabs. Satoru puts the car in park and leans over you to look up at the building over his glasses. “Wow,” he comments. “You must be losing your shit over this, huh nerd?”

“Insult me all you want,” you say. “I’m having a great time here.”

“I’m sure you are,” he hums. Your eyes scan the steps to the MET swiftly before you spot Aoto to the left while Satoru examines the area curiously.

“Oh! I see Aoto,” you announce, unbuckling your seatbelt and slinging your back over your shoulder.

Satoru’s brows pinch together, his gaze attempting to follow yours to locate your research partner. “Where?”

You point out to the brunette dressed in a light button up and slacks, seemingly waiting for your arrival. “There,” you say. “Thanks for the ride. I’ll text you when I’m done.”

“Hold on,” he stops you, grabbing your arm gently to keep you from leaving just yet. You look at him with a strange expression.

“What is it now?”

“Well, it’d be rude of me not to introduce myself now that I’m here,” he says flatly.

“Why would you need to do that?”

“To be polite.”

“But he doesn’t even know who you are.”

“Exactly, hence introducing myself,” he says, looking at you blankly.

You don’t have the opportunity to stop him before he’s honking his horn, waving into the air aggressively and calling out to Aoto. Your eyes go wide and you turn to grip his extended arm to lower at, hissing at him to shut up, but it’s too late.

The commotion catches Aoto’s attention as well as the attention of many others. You watch the brunette turn into your direction, scrunching his face oddly before releasing it when he sees you next to the odd white haired man calling him over.

You panic when he heads your way, slapping at Satoru’s chest and knee. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” you hiss, and he’s smirking evilly.

Aoto steps down and approaches your passenger door, ducking his head to look into the car. He looks at you first, smiling kindly as Satoru stares, observing intensely with a tight lipped smile. “Morning, (Y/n),” a laugh bubbles lightly in his words as you tighten your face with embarrassment and flash him a nervous smile, ripping your hands from Gojo’s body.

“Hi,” you greet shortly.

“I see you’ve found a better ride today,” he jokes, and Satoru can feel a muscle in his eye twitch at the sound of him being humorous with you a day after meeting. Aoto looks at Satoru, nodding his head in acknowledgement. “How’s it going?”

“Oh just great,” Satoru grins, his one hand still taut on the steering wheel. “You must be uhhh… Apollo?”

You crick your neck when Satoru purposely fumbles the brunette’s name to his face.

Aoto takes it well, chuckling softly. “Uh, close, it’s Aoto,” he smiles. “But people butcher it all the time,” he lies.

“Oh, I’m sure,” Satoru nods slowly.

“(Y/n), this a friend of yours?”

You sigh. “Yeah, he’s just visiting-“

“Satoru Gojo,” your albino friend extends a hand over your lap into Aoto’s direction. Your research partner clasps it firmly, shaking with a friendly grip. “It’s a pleasure.”

“Likewise.” You notice Aoto move to tug his hand away, but Satoru holds on for a second longer, keeping his grip tight before letting him go. “That’s a hell of a handshake you got there.”

“Thank you,” Satoru grins. “So I hear you and (Y/n) are working together?”

“Sure are. We’re actually heading in soon to meet with a historian,” Aoto explains. “Your friend here is a really passionate girl. It’s already a pleasure to get to chat with her about all this stuff,” the older man compliments you, and you laugh bashfully.

Gojo, however, does not find anything funny. His tight smile is frozen on his face as he watches Aoto look at you with what you would call a “friendly” gaze, but what Satoru knows as a look that reveals his hidden desire to have sex with you.

He can feel himself losing his cool, the very thought of you spending all day with this creep making him lose his mind.

You turn to look at Gojo oddly upon detecting a sudden foulness in his mood.

“Funny, you got all that out of her in one day?” Satoru lifts his brows, glossy lips parted as he holds a finger to his chin as though he is completely indulged in what Aoto is saying. You don’t understand why he is all of a sudden behaving so rudely. He has no right, after all, since this is your sanctuary he insisted upon intruding.

“A day is generous. Maybe even less,” Aoto jokes in high spirits, and you try to laugh along with him, but the glare in Satoru’s eyes distracts you as he looks between you and your research partner repeatedly.

“Well, gosh, luckily for me, I’ve known her for three years,” Satoru smiles, turning to look at you. “Isn’t that right?”

You give him a warning glare, to which he blatantly ignores and turns back to face your research partner.

“She gets shy when I put her on the spot, but it’s true.”

“In that case, I’m sure you guys have a great friendship.”

“We really do.”

“Alright,” you jump in to cut the strange sense of strain in the air. “I think it’s about time we head in,” you say to Aoto.

He shrugs with a soft smile. “Sure, let’s go. Hey, nice meeting you Gojo,” he waves to the blue eyed pain in the ass next to you, and the said man grins.

“Take care, buddy.”

You are about to hop out of the vehicle to join Aoto when you pause. “Actually, Aoto, could you give us a minute? I think my chapstick fell out in here somewhere.”

“Oh, yeah, no problem. I’ll just be inside then.”

“Okay.”

You wait until Aoto is far enough to be out of earshot before whipping your head around and punching Satoru square in the shoulder. “Ow!” he yelps, rubbing the sore area, his uncivil facade fading. “That hurt!”

“What the hell was that, huh?” you ask through gritted teeth. “Why were you being so rude?”

“I wasn’t,” he exhales with irritation. “I was just scoping him out, no big deal.”

“It is a big deal, Satoru, because that’s the guy I’m working with! You know, for a real research opportunity?”

“Yeah, so you’ve said a hundred times already,” he remarks sassily. “It wasn’t that serious.”

“Nothing ever is to you, is it?” you growl, anger consuming your mind. Your thoughts of why you stepped away from Satoru in the first place instantly return, face flustering in embarrassment and heart pounding.

Why did he always have to make a scene everywhere he went? Why does he have to constantly be the center of attention with no regard for how his behavior impacts anyone else?

Satoru looks at you with a slightly hurt and befuddled expression. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re a child,” you huff, gathering your belongings into your lap with haste. Satoru grabs your arm again before you can leave for the second time.

“Woah, woah, woah, hold on,” he rushes out. “Did I actually piss you off just now?”

“Answer your own questions, Satoru, since you seem to know everything.”

A dent forms in the space between his brows as he peers down at you incredulously. “You’re getting this worked up over me messing with some random guy?”

“My research partner,” you clarify.

“Whatever! Why does it matter?”

“It matters because you don’t think it does! You only give meaning to the things you care about, and you knock everyone else down along the way. It’s exhausting!”

“How was I supposed to know that you’d care so much about what I say to him? You just met him yesterday.”

“You still don’t even get it,” you shake your head. “Why would you?”

“Why are you snapping at me, (Y/n)?” Satoru frowns. “I thought we were good. I thought I didn’t do anything to make you mad at me.”

“That was yesterday, Satoru. This is today.”

“And you’re this angry at me over something so small? Nothing built up to you blowing up on me like this?”

“Maybe I’m just sick of you being an asshole.”

You yank your arm away, throwing open the door and slamming it behind you. Satoru sits back, lips parted in shock, reeling at the rate at which you had grown upset with him. He feels his heart ache, unsure of why you care so much about one interaction he had with a guy neither of you knows.

You’re right. He doesn’t understand. He can’t understand.

He can’t understand how this man gets to spend all of his time with you after you stripped your time away from Satoru forcefully, without even telling him why. You can’t understand why you defend Aoto, grow angry for him, resentful and hurtful. You called Satoru a child, you called him an asshole, you claimed that he didn’t care about how things affected others when all he cares about in this godforsaken world is you, and yet somehow, you’ve antagonized him and left him behind.

Where is your gratitude for the years he spent by your side ensuring that you weren’t lonely? Where is your gratitude for the tears he wiped away, shed for your isolation from an unloving family? Where is your gratitude for remembering all of your favorite foods, your likes, your dislikes, the things you are allergic to, the things you dream about attaining, your favorite animal, your favorite piece of clothing, your best and worst subjects in school, what makes you laugh, what makes you cry, what makes your nose scrunch up in disgust and your eyes shine with enthusiasm?

Why are you so keen on shoving your memory of all he has been for you away? Why is it so easy for you to yell at him, to push you off of him, to glare at him, to dismiss him, to ghost him, when he knows there is no reality in this universe where he would be able to rip his eyes from your beautiful face for longer than one second?

It didn’t take much for you to leave Satoru behind, and he mourns over you. He mourns over your presence and your love that he begins to question was ever there. He mourns your touch, your gaze, your affections, your praises. He mourns the thought of you leaning into him and accepting the lengths to which he would go for you, the planets he would conquer, the oceans he would swim, the beasts he would tame.

Satoru would have given you his entire existence if you asked for it, but he mourns the notion that you would do the same as he realizes that you never will.

Instead, you choose Shoko over him. You choose Suguru over him. You choose an empty phone over him, a new country over him, and an older man over him. When Gojo would pick you in every universe he encounters within his dreams, you would cast him away for the chance of finding something better.

You do not love him, and he understands now.

To you, he’s an asshole, a child, a careless man with no regard for the impact he has on the people he cares for. To you, he is his legacy, his privilege, his wealth, his pride, his family. You are everything to him, the stars, the sun, and the moon, but he is nothing to you but a burden.

That must be why you stopped talking to him, why you were practically mortified to see his face in New York. Suguru had been right though he didn’t want to accept it. You want space away from him, far away, and while chases you, you continue to outrun him, seeking another hand to hold.

Satoru can feel himself growing cold, eyes angry and jaw taut. He doesn’t know why he tries so hard with you, or whether his blatant desire to keep you near has pushed you away further. He doesn’t know why, no matter how many times your voice and body tell him that you don’t want him around, he still follows you. He can’t bring himself to leave you the way you try to leave him, for you hold too much weight within his mind and bring him too much happiness. Christ, you’re one of his best friends, the only woman he has truly cared for beyond himself, and you give him nothing. Even so, he clings to you like you’re his last breath, surviving off of the ropes you throw and pull away as though he has no other option.

And to Satoru, there is no other option. You’re it. You’re everything. He can’t walk away, so why should you be able to?

He pictures you with Aoto, his rugged stubbled face and dark eyes. He pictures you laugh alongside him, fingers brushing his elbow as you steady yourself on your feet. He pictures you watching him with enamored eyes as he drones on about art, about the things you like that Satoru has never comprehended but has learned for you.

He pictures you hugging him, tucking your face against his chest as he pulls you close, his lips brushing your forehead as you thank him for this wonderful opportunity. He pictures you out at a grungy restaurant, sharing a meal in celebration of your remarkable intelligence, clinking glasses as your eyes meet in the haze of the candle lit space.

He pictures you going home with him, falling into him, lips crushing together and hands wandering over bare skin, skin Satoru alone is meant to touch, to kiss, to cherish.

The white haired heir clenches his fists together, rage overcoming him at the tormented images flashing through his brain. You’ll probably leave him for this place one day, for this life, for this guy, throwing him behind as if he held no value to you. You’ll go again without telling him and Satoru will find out through a friend, too late for him to chase you into a new life. He imagines you happy without him, and his heart shatters.

You, on the other hand, are fuming.

Why does Satoru have to be so obnoxious? Why can’t he let you breathe without him hovering over you, tracking you down just to make you angry again?

What right does he have to treat a stranger as if he is beneath him? Someone who you happen to work with? Could he be any more pretentious?

Your blood is boiling as you picture him looking at you, then competing with a man that you hardly even know through the tone of his voice and his unwarranted possession of you. What gives him the right to treat you as though he owns you, grinning smugly at Aoto as though he could never amount to his image?

You recall the nights you stayed up watching stories of Satoru with some random girl on your social media, his pretty face leaning into the camera as he sweet-talks the unassuming woman behind it with no intention of following through. You recall the times Satoru shoved profiles of girls who follow him into your faces, making remarks about how attractive they are before accepting their friend requests. You recall every time you have ended up sobbing in Suguru’s arms after a night of drinking, the dark haired boy himself blaming your emotions on the alcohol when in reality they were sparked by the sight of a girl grinding up against him in a club.

You replay all the instances Gojo has made you and hundreds of other women feel like a fool, and he has the audacity to challenge the poor guy you work with?

It’s unfair, all of it.

You’re supposed to be getting away from him, but instead, he’s here, just like he always forces himself to be. He’s invading your personal space, making judgments about other people, and all the while doing so and expecting not to be reprimanded. How much more inconsiderate could a person get?

You spend your entire day thinking about him, his face appearing in your head as you try to listen to the things the people around you are saying. You try your hardest to rid your mind of Satoru, but the task proves impossible. He’s like a plague, ailing your train of thought every chance he gets.

Why can’t he just leave you alone? It was already enough that he had made you fall in love with him, so why couldn’t he give you space? Why is he always so close to you, lingering in every nook and cranny of your heart and soul?

By the time late afternoon rolls around, you and Aoto are done in the MET and you are given a list of artifacts to organize on a spreadsheet by the end of the day. You had not called Satoru to see where he was, and you almost think he isn’t showing up, but when you descend the museum stairs, you see him parked by the sidewalk with Suguru sitting passenger and Shoko in the back.

You exhale slowly, preparing yourself for what is to come as you approach the car. “Hey, guys,” you greet with a wave, and your friends’ heads are turning except for Satoru, who leans his head back against the headrest and stares forward emptily.

“How was your day?” Shoko asks as you climb into the back with her.

You shrug. “Good. Got some good work to do.” You look forward to finding Gojo’s dull eyes in the rearview mirror. He doesn’t move to greet or look at you, which you find unbearably unusual. “What about you guys?”

“Suguru and I actually saw a huge rat after we finished breakfast,” the young woman beside you snickers. “So he’s not in the greatest mood.”

“I need to get out of this fucking place,” you hear Suguru mutter and you laugh at his tone of dreadful severity as Satoru pulls out and starts driving.

“Hate to break it to you, Sugu, but your friend has other plans for you today,” you say, hardly addressing the man you are speaking about aside from a vague allusion to Suguru.

“Actually,” you hear Satoru speak up, and you look up at him to find his eyes on you through the mirror. He looks slightly perturbed, the usual bubbliness in his tone and playful glitter in his eye replaced by a flat indifference. “There’s been a change of plans.”

You keep his gaze for a moment, eying him skeptically. “Oh?” is all you muster up the energy to say.

“We’re going back now.”

“Back where?”

“To the villa.”

Your shoulders drop as you process his announcement. All of a sudden, he wants to leave?

“Oh…”

“Don’t worry though. You’re coming with.”

You perk up, eyes shooting wide. “Huh?”

“I think you heard me perfectly clear,” he says. “Your stuff’s already all packed and in the front with Suguru. We’re heading straight up there now.”

“How the hell did you get back into my house?”

“I saw the code you put into the keypad when we left.”

You perch yourself up, gripping the back of Geto’s seat and leaning to look over at Satoru’s face. “Are you crazy? I’m not coming up there! It’s too far! I have to stay here.”

“Calm down. Your computer’s packed and I’ll have you back in the city by tomorrow morning.”

You fume. “Satoru, why do you think you can just drag me around wherever you want me to go?”

“I don’t think that. I just think it would be unfair to our friends if we forced them to hang around the city any longer without an extra pair of clothes. I’m thinking ahead for everyone, ‘cause, you know, I try to be aware of how my actions impact others,” he quips with a straight face, refusing to spare you a glance once you’re staring directly at him and leaning over the console.

Your face darkens when those last few words leave his mouth. “Is this really how you’re choosing to react to this morning?”

“Like I told you before, (Y/n), not everything’s about you. I’m doing this for Shoko and Suguru. So just sit back and enjoy the ride.”

He turns the volume knob up on a random station, blasting music he doesn’t even listen to as he drives. You lean back into your seat feeling even more agitated than you had been earlier, crossing your arms.

“He didn’t tell you about this before?” Shoko asks you quietly, the blare of the radio overpowering her voice enough for the boys in the front not to hear. You throw your hands up and into your lap, preparing for a rant.

“No! Literally just this morning he was trying to make you guys stay here longer so we could walk around the city,” you fume, turning to complain to your friend. She shakes her head with an exasperated smile.

“Typical Satoru.”

“I just can’t with him sometimes, honestly,” you huff.

“What did he do this time?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re pissed, he’s pissed, you mentioned something that happened this morning,” she lists as though this is nothing new. “What did he do?”

“Am I really that obvious when I’m mad at him?”

“I mean, yeah, but Satoru even more so when he’s bothered,” she glances up at him. “He never gets upset with you, so it’s weird.”

“Now why the hell would he be upset with me? He’s the one constantly out of line,” you accuse quietly, turning to look at the streets passing you by. “Like- you can’t just take people wherever you want to go. It’s selfish.”

“Tell me what he did, girl,” Shoko repeats for a third time and you exhale.

“It was just this weird thing this morning. He wanted to meet my research partner and he made a whole scene.”

Shoko listens as she pulls out a lighter and a pack of almost finished cigarettes. “What kind of scene?”

“I don’t know how to explain it, he was just acting like a dick… like really… really…” you struggle to find the word.

“Territorial?”

You give Shoko a strange look, nodding slowly. “Yeah. Sort of.”

Ieiri shakes her head, flicking her match open to light the stick in her hand. “Figures.”

“I just wish for once he’d stop being so difficult.”

“I think you’re asking for the impossible,” Shoko cups her hands around the flame to block it from the wind. “Satoru will always be Satoru, and when you’re involved, he’s Satoru on Xanax.”

“Yeah, because he loves to piss me off.”

Shoko doesn’t respond, puffing smoke from her now lit cigarette as she ponders how you still can’t see what is so clearly standing right in front of you.

The car ride is silent for the most part, though not as long as you assumed it would be. After a few stops for gas and snacks, you finally make it to Long Island, the scent of sea breeze drifting through your nostrils and into the wild wind as you lean your head against the door, looking around you and observing the captivating scenery.

You watch the large, expensive houses pass you by until you’re pulling into a secluded villa at the end of a row. You lift your head and look up in awe as Satoru pulls into the driveway. The home is obnoxiously large, trees shading the front porch and sun pouring richly through the overhead leaves. There’s two stories, but the house stretches so wide it looks as though it was built for a family of twelve. The exterior is mostly wood with tall window panes and a glass dome connecting two legs of the house sitting in the center, where the front door resides. Your jaw hangs open as everyone piles out of the car casually, as though a two hundred thousand dollar vacation home isn’t sitting right before their eyes.

Suguru grabs your light overnight bag and tosses it over to you, catching you by surprise once you step out the car and rush to clutch it to your chest. “Welcome to Satoru’s overcompensation,” Suguru smiles at you, and Satoru grumbles at him to shut up as he closes the door behind him.

Shoko skips around you, racing up to the front door. “I call dibs on the big shower!” she claims, disappearing into the house.

Geto sweatdrops, trudging in behind her. “All the showers here are big, Shoko.”

The two leave you and Satoru alone as he rounds his car to grab your bag out of your arms wordlessly. His eyes, yet again, don’t meet yours. “I’ll show you to your room.”

You can feel your heart clench at his coldness, though frustration with him still bubbles, and you follow him into the house silently. Once you step through the glass doors, you see that the majority of the bottom level opens up to the back of the house, where a fresh cut lawn surrounds a crystal blue pool and lawn chairs. You stare baffled. The house is admittedly beautiful, but for Satoru to have splurged this much on a last minute trip is insane.

He leads you upstairs and down a long hallway before nudging open a door to your right that you realize is your bedroom. Satoru lets you walk past him into the room first, and you examine the large space carefully, the window on the left, the small couch in front of the queen bed, the television, and the marble dressers. It’s a nice room, you admit to yourself.

Satoru walks in to put your bag down on your bed, then turns to walk out. “We’re going out at ten,” he says, moving to leave.

“Wait,” you stop him, and he stills. He turns around to face you, an almost pained yet bothered expression on his face. You don’t know what to say now that you have his attention. You only know that you’re confused, though still angry with him for earlier. You’re confused as to why you’re here with him, why he’s all of a sudden mad at you. You can see it written all over his face now that Shoko has brought it to your attention. “What was the point of taking me here?” you choose to ask him, a question simple enough, you think, to not rouse more tension.

But you’re wrong.

“(Y/n),” he exhales. “I don’t know what to tell you if you can’t comprehend the fact that we just want to spend time with you.”

You swallow hard. He is mad. But why? You’re the one who’s supposed to be mad, not him. “Okay, but you’re not understanding where I’m coming from at all. Randomly making me do things without asking first sparks a few questions, don’t you think?”

“Okay then,” he nods. “What would you have said if I asked you?”

You hesitate. “I don’t know.”

“Be honest,” he demands sternly, and you look him in the eye when you answer.

“Probably… no, Satoru.”

“Exactly. So why ask if you’re just gonna turn me down again like you have been for weeks?” You feel your heart sink. You don’t like this feeling, though you know it’s partially your fault you’re in this situation.

“Didn’t we already talk about this last night?”

“I don’t think we’ve talked about it enough, but you don’t really wanna explain yourself, so I’m letting it go and making an executive decision for everyone.”

“Everyone?” you repeat.

He stares at you a moment, perturbed. “Yes,” he fibs, and you know he is. “If you have any more complaints about how I approach our relationship, take it up with the others,” he says, turning back around. “I won’t keep putting myself in a position where I have to defend myself caring about you.”

He’s gone within a second after that, swiftly leaving your room as if he was never there. You stand in the door, watching the entrance speechlessly.

You don’t know why Satoru’s behavior toward you is completely throwing you off, for if you’re mad at him, it really shouldn’t matter if he’s mad at you, right? But you have never seen him look at you so tiredly, speak to you with such agitation in his eyes and his tone. With you, he’s normally always bright, playful, loud, and obnoxious but in an endearing way. This tone he’s taking with you now is void of all that glee, and if you’re being completely honest with yourself, it’s making you anxious and, dare you say, hurting your feelings.

You know you’re being unfair because you’re normally always the one upset with Satoru and not the other way around. You know that he’s a human being and has a right to whatever he feels, despite the fact that you were angry with him this morning, but that doesn’t make this feel any less strange, like the world is being thrown off kilter. Despite your initial frustrations with him, you’re beginning to miss his smile, miss the way he follows you, the way he pesters you, the very same things you always claimed drove you insane.

Have you been taking advantage of him all this time, overlooking the life that he has always brought to your own? Are you the selfish one, though you have always accused Satoru of being self-centered?

And those words he had said earlier… I won’t keep putting myself in a position where I have to defend myself caring about you.”

All this time, all the pranks and the harassing, the constant texts and the frequent company, had he been just caring about you instead of trying to make you angry? Instead of trying to get a rise out of you?

You don’t understand. You don’t understand anything anymore.

You’re drowning in your thoughts, head submerging into an ocean of memories replaying constantly in your head. You somehow end up on the second floor balcony, peering straight ahead of you. The awareness of Satoru lounging on a beach chair and Shoko laying in the pool on a float below you remains in the back of your head, but you’re not fully paying attention. You can’t stop thinking about Satoru, about your friendship, about how you thought it would be best to push him away, about how he looked at you with aching eyes at the thought of you turning away from him again.

Had you messed up?

You’re deep in a trance when Suguru stalks up behind you quietly. He saw your figure standing alone on the balcony as he walked by and decided to accompany you. When he comes into your line of sight to stand beside you, you jump, glancing at him then relaxing when you see the dark haired man smiling gently at you. “Hey,” he greets you casually. You notice that his hair is down and damp and his clothes are fresh, likely having just gotten out of the shower.

You exhale slowly. “Hey,” you say, turning back to face forward. Suguru can immediately sense that your mind isn’t all there as he leans against the glass railing and observes your body language. He then glances down below him to find Satoru glaring ahead, eyes shaded by his glasses as he sucks harshly at the straw of his lemonade.

Suguru understands immediately.

“How’re you holding up?” the hazel eyed student asks. “You know, after being dragged here and all.”

“Feeling like I should be working.”

“Why aren’t you?”

You shrug, angling your brows. “I don’t know, I can’t focus,” you say.

“Is it because of the house?” he looks around. “It can be a bit much.”

“Actually, no,” you tell him honestly. “I wish I could, but I don’t hate it here. It’s nice.”

“Uh oh. Satoru’s finally gotten to you,” Suguru chuckles and you look over at him, slightly panicked.

“What makes you say that?”

Geto’s eyes meet yours and he lifts a brow. “The house. He’s got you liking his expensive taste.”

“Oh,” you mutter in relief. “I guess. A nice place is a nice place.”

He hums, looking forward into the direction you had been staring off in. The two of you stand beside each other silently for a moment, watching the sun ease its way behind the trees, when Suguru speaks up once more. “(Y/n)?”

“Hm?”

“I have a question for you.”

You turn and grimace. “Anytime you say that, I get scared.”

Suguru laughs, a refreshing, genuine sound. “How come?”

“You always ask the most intimidating things.”

“Do I?” he tugs his lips in an amused smile. “I guess you won’t like what I have to ask you then.”

“Just get it over with already,” you groan.

“Alright…” he pauses, scanning his eyes over your face as he tries to find the best way to approach. “Why’d you stop talking to Satoru?”

You knew it was coming. How could you not, when you and Satoru are behaving so strangely? You sigh loudly again, hanging your head low. “I knew it.”

“It’s really not that crazy of a question,” he says smugly and you push at his shoulder.

“Please, you know what you’re doing,” you roll your eyes and he chuckles.

“Do I? I’m only asking.”

“Whatever,” you huff, rubbing your temple in exasperation.

“Well?”

You’re mute for a moment, trying to determine what you want to say or how to respond. Suguru has always been very good at detecting when people are lying to him or not, and you know that if you lie to him, you will only be making the situation more painful for yourself. And by the way the dark haired man is looking at you now, you have a feeling he already knows the answer.

“...Why do you think I stopped talking to him?”

“I know what I think, (Y/n), but if I’m wrong, then I’m wrong.”

You look at him, your eyes telling a story that Suguru has read far too many times over. He hums in understanding, looking back down at Satoru.

“Doesn’t seem like I am though,” he says and you slump, burying your face in your hands.

“I don’t know,” you murmur. “I don’t know, I don’t know. I just-” you stop, unsure of where your mind is directing the words that are coming out of your mouth. “I just thought that… it would be best if I took some time away.”

“Best for who?”

“For me?” you answer though you aren’t sure. “I don’t know!” you exclaim again. “It was hard enough just having him around and letting him make a fool out of me.”

“Huh?” Suguru makes a baffled face. “Making a fool out of you? How?”

“Look at him,” you hiss. “Look at this place, look at the money he spends, the attention he gets, the life he lives! I’m nothing compared to that and he knows it.”

“Your difference in societal standings is hardly something that Satoru would ever care about.”

“Maybe not, but it’s a blaring difference between our lives and how we approach things,” you explain. “I had to fight to get here. He just snaps his fingers and it’s done, and because of that, he behaves like he can do anything he wants. In some ways he can, but he shouldn’t be able to when it comes to his friends. Not when it comes to me,” you emphasize. “You see what he does, you’re his best friend. He makes things happen the way he wants and pulls everyone along with him, not caring about whether you want to go with him or not.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

His eyes grow intense as he studies you. “Do you want to go with him?”

“I-” you part your lips because you think you can answer easily, but you surprise yourself when you don’t. You frown, suddenly feeling rather pathetic. “Who wouldn’t want to go with Satoru Gojo wherever he takes you? It’s better than him leaving you behind.”

“But, (Y/n),” Suguru begins adamantly. “Satoru has never once left any of us behind. That’s why we’re here. He could’ve hauled his own ass to America, but instead he forced us along with him. And while it can be irritating, it’s kinda nice to know that he wants to share his privilege with the people he cares about.

“Satoru may be a lot of things. He’s impulsive, he’s clingy, he’s dramatic, but he’s not uncaring. You can’t categorize him as that just because he’s different,” Geto says wisely, and another wave of shame washes over you when you realize that he’s right. It’s just easier for you to call Satoru inconsiderate when he can’t see how helplessly in love you are with him. “And I’m sorry if this is blunt, but if we’re talking about leaving people behind… you kinda did that to him.”

“Because I thought it was the right thing to do,” you urged. “I thought that if I stepped away, I wouldn’t have to face my…”

“Your feelings,” Geto concludes, and you flush as your lips and brows curl in discomfort.

“I couldn’t stand it,” you whisper. “I still can’t stand it… watching him, watching the way girls glue themselves to him, watching the way he just tosses them aside without caring… I’m horrified that he’d only do the same to me if he knew, and I can’t stand it.”

“You wanna know why Satoru doesn’t pay any of those girls any mind and leads them on?”

“No,” you tighten your lips.

“Come on, it’s the same reason why he snatched the chance to show his face to your research partner earlier with so much to say. It’s the reason why he can’t help but try to follow you wherever you go, and when he can’t, he finds a way.”

You stare at Geto with hard eyes, eager yet perplexed. “I still don’t get it.”

“You’re hopeless. Both of you are,” Suguru sighs. “Either way, whatever’s going on between you two needs to get fixed. Immediately.”

“But, Suguru, I don’t know how to just be friends with him anymore without getting mad or- or letting these feelings get in the way,” you say desperately. “I don’t know how to be around him anymore.”

“Let me pose it this way. Do you want to be around him?”

“Do you seriously expect me to answer that?”

“Yes.”

You close your eyes, heart pounding hardly in your ears. “Of course I want to be around him…” you admit under your breath in embarrassment. “That was never the problem. It was that it hurt to be around him without him knowing about how I feel.”

“Then tell him.”

“Oh, you’re out of your fucking mind.”

“I’m being serious, (Y/n),” Suguru groans. “You need to tell him.”

“I can’t do that, Suguru, it would ruin everything.”

“That’s what you’re afraid will happen. You don’t know what will actually happen.”

“I know enough,” you cut him off. “I know enough about Satoru to know that if I tell him everything, he’ll use it against me or take it as a joke. I’ve seen it. So many girls confess to him, he’s become numb to it by now.”

“Those are other girls. Not you.”

“What makes me any different?”

“More than you know. Trust me,” he says sternly. “So just tell him. Right now, I'm pretty sure he thinks you hate him. Especially after everything with you coming here after ghosting him, and I’m sure your fight this morning didn’t help.”

“Hold on, how did you even know about that?”

“Satoru’s got a big mouth.” Though you know Gojo didn’t tell Shoko, you don’t know why you’re surprised that he blabbered to his best friend about this morning’s incident. “And a big heart too.”

“...Suguru, I’m scared. If I confessed to Satoru and he…” you trail off, images of Satoru laughing at you, telling you that he’s known all along, that he’s been taking pity on you floods your mind and you're consumed with fear. Fear of his rejection, fear of his indifference, fear of his mocking. You love him too much to endure that if that’s too happen. “I couldn’t handle it.”

“You’ve got it really bad, don’t you?” Suguru observes and you grit your teeth together in reaction to his blunt address of your love, something you don’t want to acknowledge as overpowering enough to be the way Suguru defines bad. “I pray for you.”

“Gee thanks.”

He laughs softly, leaning his head on his palm. “You’ve gotta stop letting fear drive your actions,” he looks at you gently. “Fear didn’t get you to college without the help of your parents, and it didn’t get you here to America. What could fear possibly get you now with Satoru?”

You know that Geto is right, as he always is. You can tell he only has your best interest at heart, his words carrying both friendly endearment and foresight. You always admired that about him, the way he carries such understanding and knowledge in his advice. “I’ll think about it,” you tell him, and that is all he wants to hear.

“Good. Because I’m getting kind of tired of suffering on behalf of you two,” he jokes. “I thought I was losing a friend because you can’t process your emotions.”

You gape at Suguru’s innocent smile. “Can you leave me and my coping mechanisms alone?”

“I don’t think I will,” he decides matter-of-factly. “I’m sure you’ve heard enough of this, but we really have missed you. The past month hasn’t been the same without you around.”

“Are you getting all sappy with me, Suguru?” you tease, and he shrugs.

“Just being honest.”

“When are you not?” you say. “I really didn’t mean to put a wall up in front of you guys. I got kinda swept up in everything I was feeling, I didn’t even notice I was being so isolated until I was already too deep in.”

Suguru leans over to place his hand atop your head consolingly. “It’s okay, (Y/n). Shoko and I understand.”

“I know, but I won’t do that to you guys again. I’ll try to get a handle on things before they can get any worse.”

He smiles down at you again kindly. “We’re here for support when you do.”

Below, Satoru is painfully aware of the two of you talking, standing close beside each other and smiling. The blue eyed man broods, for you treat Suguru with the kindness that you should have been treating him with. He tries to concentrate on something else, anything else, but the lull murmur of your voice and Suguru’s drifts into the air and into his thoughts, taunting him.

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urmommt · 22 days ago

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ch 2 Sealed with a kiss (jakvik x reader)

I know i said id do like 5k words but the struggle is so real oml. i hope u enjoy this ch and ill work on spitting out more words for the next chapter i promise :>

“Wakey wakey sleepy head,” yelled the incessant noise of Sky directly into your ear.

“Ugh, leave me alone, Sky. It’s my rest day, and I don’t plan on waking up till noon,” you replied.

“Dude, it’s 3 PM. Get up,” she said.

“IT’S WHAT?! WHY DIDN’T YOU WAKE ME UP SOONER?” you screamed as you jumped up. You had planned on getting some work done on your assignment around now because, at this rate, you’d never get it finished and submitted in time.

You only had one more month to work on it before it had to be sent in, and since you’re a massive procrastinator, you had barely done anything in the past five months while everyone else was busting their asses to get the work finished.

“Considering what you said to me a minute ago, I don’t think you even deserved to wake up now, stink face,” Sky replied.

Sky Young was your best friend. Your bread to your butter. Your cheese to your stick, or however that saying goes. Anyways, you get the idea—you guys were almost inseparable. You’d grown up in the undercity together even though her family was much richer than yours, and you’d moved to the city of Piltover together too since she got accepted at the same time as you did.

When you’d first come, she’d helped out with the expenses and everything, but you paid her back as soon as you got your job at the café, for which she was thankful because people in Zaun, no matter how rich, still struggled in Piltover due to the insane taxes for Zaunites and the fact their currency was less strong than Piltover’s.

She also was your rock when you’d found out about your father’s death, and if it weren’t for her, you really don’t know where you’d be today. Your remembrance of the day you found out was a bit blurred due to the shock of receiving the news. All you know is you woke up one morning, checked the mail, and saw a letter from your father’s boss informing you he’d fallen under some rubble at work and passed away.

As you got up and got ready to study, you remembered you had one more month and so got changed and asked Sky to join you for a day at the academy for sightseeing instead of studying. It’s fine since you had a month anyway, and there was a little scientific event set by the biochem majors today that you really badly wanted to go see.

“Uhhh, I thought you had studying to do today,” Sky said with a raised brow, looking at you in a knowing way.

You stood there looking like an idiot for around a minute before replying very tactfully.

“Nuh uh.”

“Yuh huh. Get your stationery and laptop. We can go see the event, then go to the library to study together. You need to get this assignment going,” she said.

Reluctantly, you agreed and grabbed your bag along with your textbooks, laptop, and a few other little things to go.

The biochemistry event at Piltover University was a bustling affair. The grand hall was filled with displays showcasing innovations and experiments, the air alive with the hum of conversation and the occasional burst of applause. You and Sky wandered through the exhibits, your eyes lighting up at the intricate machinery and complex equations scrawled on presentation boards.

“This is amazing,” you said, pausing to admire a holographic projection of molecular structures. “Makes me wish I had chosen biochem instead of engineering.”

Sky smirked, nudging you. “You’d regret it the moment you saw the workload. Stick to your devices and let these nerds handle the chemicals.”

You laughed, but your attention was soon drawn to a corner of the room where a small crowd had gathered. Curious, you made your way over, Sky trailing behind. At the center of the commotion stood two familiar figures—tall and broad-shouldered, with an easy smile, and lean with a sharp, analytical gaze. Viktor and Jayce.

Your breath hitched as memories of their brief visit to the café flashed in your mind. They were presenting something—a sleek device that pulsed with a faint blue light, its purpose explained in animated gestures by Jayce while Viktor observed the crowd, his gaze suddenly locking on you the moment he noticed you.

“Isn’t that...?” Sky began, but you quickly shushed her, not wanting to draw attention.

“Yes,” you whispered, pulling her to a less conspicuous spot. “They came to the café last week. I made their coffee.”

Sky gave you a look, half-amused, half-curious. “And you’re acting like they’re celebrities because...?”

“I don’t know,” you whined, your eyes involuntarily drifting back to the duo. Jayce was in his element, charming the audience with his enthusiasm, while Viktor’s focus remained unwavering, his sharp eyes scanning the crowd as if seeking something—or someone.

When his gaze landed on you again, a jolt of recognition passed between you. He tilted his head slightly, his expression unreadable, before returning his attention to the presentation. Jayce, meanwhile, finished his explanation with a flourish, earning a round of applause.

“That was something,” Sky said, nudging you again. “You should go talk to them.”

“What? No!” you hissed, horrified at the suggestion. “They wouldn’t even remember me.”

Sky shrugged, her grin mischievous. “Your loss. But don’t come crying to me when you regret it later.”

Ignoring her, you turned your attention back to the exhibits, though your thoughts remained tangled in the brief, charged moment of eye contact. You tried to shake it off, focusing instead on a demonstration involving automated prosthetics. The technology was fascinating, and you couldn’t help but compare it to your own fledgling designs.

“See? Inspiration everywhere,” Sky said, pulling you towards another booth. “Now, let’s soak it all in so you can finish that damn assignment.”

Despite her teasing, you found yourself immersed in the event, the initial awkwardness fading as you absorbed the wealth of ideas and innovation around you. The faces of Viktor and Jayce lingered in the back of your mind, but you pushed them aside, determined to make the most of the day—and to finally tackle your project with renewed focus.

The afternoon flew by as you and Sky explored the event, each booth offering a glimpse into the cutting-edge advancements Piltover was known for. From augmented reality interfaces to bioengineered plants capable of purifying the air, it was a testament to human ingenuity and ambition.

At one booth, a young scientist demonstrated a prototype for a device that could synthesize food molecules, effectively creating meals out of raw elemental compounds. “Imagine,” he said, “no more hunger. No more wasted resources. Just pure efficiency.”

Sky raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like something straight out of a dystopian novel.”

You chuckled, but the comment stayed with you. Piltover’s progress often came at a cost, and the line between innovation and exploitation was razor-thin.

As the event wound down, you and Sky found yourselves back near the presentation area where Viktor and Jayce had been. They were packing up their equipment, their conversation animated yet hushed. You couldn’t hear the words, but their synergy was palpable, each movement and gesture perfectly in sync.

“They make a good team,” Sky observed. “Wonder if they’re as insufferable as they look.”

You snorted. “Jayce, maybe. Viktor? He seems... different.”

“Different how?”

You hesitated, struggling to articulate the impression he left. “I don’t know. Just... quieter. Like he’s always thinking about something important.”

Sky gave you a sidelong glance, her smirk returning. “Sounds like someone’s got a crush.”

“Oh, shut up,” you muttered, swatting at her. But the heat rising in your cheeks betrayed you, and Sky’s laughter echoed as you walked away.

By the time you both finished wondering around the event that evening you lost track of the time and it had already become 8pm. Although neither of you minded and your mind was still buzzing with ideas from the event. You spread your notes and sketches across the library table and determined to channel your inspiration into tangible progress. Sky, ever the supportive friend, plopped down beside you with her own work, the two of you falling into a comfortable silence broken only by the occasional question or comment.

Yet, as you worked, your thoughts kept drifting back to Viktor and Jayce. Their confidence, their camaraderie, the way they seemed to embody the very essence of Piltover’s ideals. And, of course, the way Viktor’s gaze had lingered just a moment too long.

“Focus,” you muttered to yourself, forcing your attention back to your assignment. There would be time for distractions later. For now, you had work to do.

#jayvik x reader #viktor arcane #viktor x reader #viktor x reader x jayce #viktor x you #sky young #jayce arcane #sky arcane #arcane viktor #arcane #arcane fanfic #arcane fic #heimerdinger

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queenendless · 1 year ago

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📱Home Screen (Teen!Gojo x Fem!Reader x Teen!Geto)📱

A/N: So this is from my Curses Love (JJK x Reader) book on Wattpad under my other username on here; CosmicQueen10.

This is set in an AU where you're a student alongside these two at JJ High. Dating them both. And they're cool with it. Gonna write more with this AU in mind here and there. Also gonna write these shorts to ease my need for precious content with my two faves and put them out as much as possible.

All credit to the characters/show/pics goes to Gege sensei. Please don't steal or copy my work. Please like and reblog. I hope you enjoy.

Nodding off amidst the cool breeze and the warm skinny sunbeams trickling through the shade of the tree leaves covering you, the rustling of your hair stirred you slightly awake, followed by a familiar enriching laugh.

"Y/n-chan~?"

You softly whined as you rubbed your eyes, working yourself more alert, as you blinked until your vision cleared up to witness yourself sitting on a bench amidst the school grounds, right beside your beaming grinning boyfriend.

"Wakey wakey, sweetie~!"

The arm of one Gojo Satoru wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you flush against his side, as his other hand opened up his flip phone.

"Wanna take a photo with me~?"

"Huh? Uhhhh .... okay."

The flash of the phone's camera snapped.

"Ooh~! Lookie lookie~!" Turning his phone around, you saw what made his face lit up.

His shades slid down to the tip of his nose, his vibrant blue eye opened giving a side view to the camera, his free hand squeezed your shoulder, and your closed eyed blushing face as he kissed the corner of your mouth.

"If you wanted a new home screen, you could have just said so." You couldn't stop smiling bashfully as he chuckled at the sight.

A weighted plop on the empty spot beside you on the bench grabbed both your attention.

"Sorry for making you both wait."

"About time, Suguru. Hey, take a look at this! Ain't Y/n-chan so cute~?!" Gojo literally smothered his phone screen all up in Geto's face. "You gotta get in on the action, buddy~!"

"Hmm," Geto hummed in thought; mirth already overtaking his black eyes as did his own sneaky grin. "Not a bad idea, Satoru." As he pulled out his own phone out of his pants pocket, his other hand brushed through your hair, cradling the back of your noggin as your cheek rested on his shoulder. "Care to take another, honey~?"

You had an inkling this would transpire. He is your other boyfriend, after all.

Besides, you like where this is going. You nodded shyly, earning a sly smile in return before he posed you two just right. The flashing of his phone's camera came next.

The snapshot of him kissing your forehead as you bashfully closed your eyes while also blushing vividly earned a hearty chuckle from Geto and a woo-hoo whistle from Gojo as you chose to keep your face buried on Geto's shoulder for the moment; adding to their amusement.

"Not bad, not bad Suguru~ However, if we make this a trio set, then we'll really hit the jackpot~!"

"Yeah yeah, I'm right here ya know!" You finally looked up, pulled out your own phone, readying to take your own selfie. "But I'm choosing the pose this time."

"And that would be~?" Their united voices; the delight evident on their expecting faces, made you duck your head in steamy sheepishness. Your finger beckoned them to draw closer to hear your whispered desire. Hearing what you asked made them exchange smirks.

"Deal. On 3. Ready?" Gojo asked.

Your shy nod confirmed it.

"Okay ... 1 ... 2 ... 3!"

And as you tapped to take the shot, in came a third flash.

Just as twice before, it all happened so fast.

Your giggle broke out through the air at the sight of what overtook your screen.

Gojo smooching your right cheek and Geto kissing your left cheek, a small but lovely smile on your face.

"Best. One. Yet~!" Gojo cheered.

"Agreed." Geto hummed in content.

That was your new home screen.

For now, at least.

No doubt newer ones would top them all along the way.

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onyxopossum · 1 year ago

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Part 2 Buggy the Clown x Reader : A Hostage Situation

Part 2 of Buggy the Clown x reader where the reader gets taken hostage.

☆☆☆

NOTE: Link to Part 3.1 - Link to 3.2 is listed on 3.1 Description.

–

You started to come to your senses as the sound of circus music sang in your ears, and the noises of others cheering and talking amongst themselves became clear around you. You groaned and tried to open your eyes, but your vision was blurred, which made the room itself seem to spin. You tried to stretch out your arms to steady yourself, but you realized your hands were bound together above your head rope tied to what seemed like a wooden wall and platform. Your ankles were also tied together, making it difficult to move your legs at all. You closed your eyes again, only to be interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Hey, sleeping beauty, wakey wakey-"

The pirate captain was in front of you, his gloved hand tapped your cheeks harder than you would have preferred, but it caused you to grit your teeth before you opened your eyes again. The pirate captain noticed you opened your eyes before he jumped back in an over dramatic display of giddiness and clasped his hands together.

"Finally! Thought you'd just sleep through the rehearsal, huh?"

The room stopped spinning long enough for you to get a better look at the man who had taken you hostage; his orange coat and hat were missing but instead he wore a red and white striped bandana, had a painted on red smile, crossbones across his forehead, and a large, clown-like red nose. The captain's giddiness was quickly replaced with an annoyed frown before he approached you again. His face was inches from yours as he seemed to be studying your face.

"Thought you could be sneaky around me, the great Buggy the clown? Did you think you had a chance against us with this?"

Buggy held up your knife before he took a step back and chuckled. Suddenly he threw the knife at the wall you were bound to, the knife stuck into the wall next to your face. Your eyes widened, a scream got caught in your throat as you stared wide eyed at Buggy.

His wild laughter filled the room, "You should see the look on your face! Ha! Now that's funny!"

He wiped a tear from his eye before he grabbed the knife from the wooden wall and started to tap the handle to his chin, "you know, I was going to have the other freaks use you in their side act tonight, but I've changed my mind. I have something better planned."

You looked at him, your voice finally returned, "what…" you swallowed hard, "what do you want with me?"

Buggy pointed the knife under your chin, before he trailed down your throat, and stopped at your chest. The expression on your face was a mix of fear and uncertainty of what this clown pirate wanted from you.

"If I told you, that'd ruin the surprise." Buggy whispered, his eyes piercing into yours.

There was an eerie moment of silence between the two of you. After he moved the knife away, you jolted forward and tried to tear yourself out of your bindings, even though it was useless.

Buggy recoiled back from you pretending to be shocked before he grabbed your chin to force you to look at him, "so you have some fight in you after all… good."

He let go of your chin and turned on his heel away from you.

He started to walk away, "Curtain call is in one hour."

You watched Buggy walk away and as soon as he was out of sight your body slumped in the bindings as you cursed to yourself. This was not how you planned your day was going to go, not in the slightest. However you realized you were being held hostage by Buggy the Clown and what seemed like being forced to perform as part of his circus pirating act.

Time dragged slowly, and no one paid any attention to you. You had an hour–or so you hoped–to think of a way to get out of the situation. You tested the strength of your bindings again, and as you thought, they were a secure knot. However, the wood was rough against the rope. If you could weaken the rope with the wood, then maybe you could escape whatever Buggy had planned for you. It was worth a shot, so for the next hour, you rubbed the rope binding your hands together against the wood.

You were not sure how much time passed until you began to see Buggy's crew scattering about everywhere. You were tired and visibly sweating but you were not about to give up, not now. Using whatever strength you had left, you pulled and the rope crackled and tore apart. Your arms heavily fell down in front of you now free from their binding. Without wasting any time you bent down and tried to untie the knot holding your ankles together.

As the knot became loose enough to move your legs apart, you heard footsteps rapidly approach you. You quickly gathered together the torn rope bindings from earlier and made it appear you were still bound to the wall. Your heart was beating so hard and loud you thought it was going to burst; you held your breath to try and calm down. The footsteps stopped behind you before the wooden platform started moving. You were calm on the outside but screamed on the inside. You had to make sure you kept your balance and did not give yourself away as the platform moved over the uneven ground.

You were pushed to the center ring of the show. The spotlight was on Buggy as he laughed and held up a bunch of knives. You looked around and saw all of the townspeople in the audience, as well as an "applause" sign being held by one of the pirate crew. It was not long before Buggy's attention was turned towards you. His voice rose as he extended a hand.

"Give a round of applause for our newest act! Hand picked for your entertainment!"

The "applause" sign was raised as whispers were heard with the unenthusiastic clapping from the audience. Buggy grinned before beginning to throw daggers at the wall behind you. Each knife hit in a different spot around you but missed hitting you each time. You were emotionless, which started to irritate Buggy.

After he threw his last knife, he turned to face the audience, which was when you decided to act. You dropped your arms, grabbed one of the knives stuck in the wall, and threw it back at Buggy. The audience gasped as the knife barely missed Buggy and pierced the ground a few feet in front of him. Just as fast as you had thrown the knife, Buggy's detached hand was clamped around your throat, choking the life out of you.

"Well… well… well… isn't this a surprise."

Buggy's words oozed slowly and dangerously.

"You didn't tell me you were such a great escape artist."

Your hands clawed at Buggy's hand on your throat, but he only tightened his grip. He walked closer to you with an amused expression, and his eyes locked onto you. Once he reached you, his hand attached back to his arm before he pushed you hard against the wooden wall. You groaned and let your arms fall to your sides. The impact made you see stars for a moment before all you could do was stare at Buggy, and he stared right back.

His grip on your throat loosened, "I haven't figured out if you're that smart or just that plain stupid." He turned his head to the side and hummed, "Still," he paused and clicked his tongue to his cheek, "someone with your-" Buggy made hand gestures in the air, "-skills could be useful, entertaining even…" Buggy stopped inches from your face before he whispered, "So, what do you say, join my crew?"

You were shocked; did managing to escape actually save your life even if that meant becoming a circus pirate? You narrowed your eyes at Buggy but nodded.

Your voice was strained, "Fine. I'll join."

Buggy looked more amused by the second before his voice got suddenly loud again,"Huh? I can't hear you, what was that?"

His ear detached and flew close to your mouth.

You grit your teeth, "I said, I'll join your crew."

Buggy released the hold on your throat as you gasped for air and coughed. Drained from everything that happened to you today, you slumped to the ground on your knees. Buggy's ear reattached as he turned to the audience and bowed as if his performance had ended. The spotlight turned off, and the lights in the tent lit up. The pirate crew began to clean up. Buggy looked down at you before roughly pulling you to your feet. You awkwardly stumbled out of the knot that was holding your feet together, which caused Buggy to click his tongue.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. You're gonna have to work on that. No use just freeing your hands when you'd trip over your own feet." His smile turned to a frown, "Mohji!"

A man with a white fur top and teddy bear hat scrambled to where you and Buggy were standing, "Y-yes Captain?"

Buggy pushed you into Mohji, "Go get them cleaned up. Starting tomorrow they'll learn what it means to be part of the Buggy pirates."

–

#buggy the clown #live action buggy #one piece buggy #op buggy #buggy x reader #live action buggy the clown #opla buggy #buggy one piece #buggy the clown x reader #opla buggy x reader #opla buggy the clown #opla buggy the clown x reader #live action buggy x reader #live action buggy the clown x reader

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moonstrider9904 · 8 months ago

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Pretty Thoughts

Part 3 of the Urban Flora mini series

Part 1 | Part 2 | Cross-posted to AO3 | Series Masterlist

Summary: You awaken to two truths - you are unmistakably in love with Crosshair, and you are both the main story on a popular gossip blog. Although this screams destruction for your reputation, what if it's a blessing in disguise?

Tags: Smut (18+ only), alcohol consumption, gossip, confrontation, female masturbation, vaginal sex, oral sex, creampie

Word count: 5.7k

Playlist: Pretty Thoughts by Alina Baraz

A/N: I've had the most fun writing and posting this series! Thank you to everyone who's read, commented, and shared! You are all the best. I hope you like the ending to this mini-series!

The nearly incessant beeping from your holopad woke you up after a night of heavy sleep. You were in that stage between your dreams and consciousness where you were just starting to make sense of things, and you reached to your nightstand for your holopad as you let out a groggy groan. When you unlocked it, your eyes widened at the screen, disregarding its glow on your pupils.

You had over 200 notifications among your messages and socials, and you quickly decided that couldn't be good.

You sat up on your bed and turned on your lamp - the sun was just beginning to rise outside, and the blinds in your bedroom blocked most of whatever light could come in anyways. You crossed your legs and held your holopad in front, and you opted to check your direct messages from any friends. First, you checked the messages from your closest friend, Pen, whom you rarely saw, but you could always confide in, and your heart nearly leapt from your chest when you saw the picture of Crosshair wearing the outfit he had on the day before, looking at the camera with a hint of confusion, but still composed and handsome as he normally was, and you recognized the area he was standing in as the street just outside the motel you had visited the day before.

Below the image, Pen's text read: Daaayum! Are all clones this fine? Why didn't you tell me you were seeing someone?

You closed out of her conversation and went onto your ongoing conversation with a different friend, Eloise, the daughter of the Senator from Corellia: Heads up, you and your mystery man made it to Scandal Gal.

Below, she had attached the full screenshot of the blog post, and below Crosshair’s picture, you read the caption:

Wakey wakey, high society: Sweetie's mystery man appears to be a silver fox dream. My sources say he was spotted entering a hotel with Sweetie and then leaving it, with our damsel of the moment seen leaving earlier than him, apparently glowing. While we may be left to fantasize about the happenings within the motel's walls, what I'm more interested to know is if this handsome young soldier is willing to introduce any of his brothers to us poor, starving gals. Consider me first in line.

With your heart pounding in your chest, you did what you knew you shouldn't have done and went over to Scandal Gal's blog and read the comments, though to your surprise, none of the comments were dragging you. You'd half expected to be called a slut by every commenter, but most of the thirsty girls in the blog were fawning at how handsome Crosshair was. You didn't particularly like a horde of girls digitally cat-calling your man, but you preferred that over a ruined reputation.

Overnight, you had become a phenomenon. What started as a picture with a few comments speculating about your encounter at the opera was now a full-fledged story that easily hundreds of people around the east side of Coruscant were following. You read multiple comments talking wonders about Crosshair, others talking wonders about you, very many admiring your relationship and how attractive you both looked together—and a few comments here and there dragging you and/or Crosshair, as expected, but overall, you and Crosshair had taken over the holonet for all the right reasons.

You wanted to laugh, but a part of it freaked you out as well. You’d never made a high profile of yourself. You’d always enjoyed your spoils in life in as private a way as possible, and the few times you’d actually made it to Scandal Gal had been because a dress you wore somewhere was beautiful, not because of your love life.

And only then, it hit you—did Crosshair know about this? And if he did, how would he take it?

Catastrophizing wouldn’t get you anywhere. You got up from your bed and put on your bathrobe, which rested on the armrest of the cozy chair next to your bed. You opened the blinds of your bedroom and took a moment to admire the Coruscant skyline with the sun making its way up the sky, dancing with a few clouds against the light blue hue. You exited your bedroom and headed past your living room with your holopad in hand, towards the kitchen to brew your coffee. As the coffee brewed, you opened the blinds to the rest of your apartment and basked in the morning peace far away from any whispers of scandal that lived in your holopad. You figured that was the bright side of it all—whether it was good talk or bad talk, it only lived in your holopad, and it wasn’t going to make its way into your calm morning.

The calm was interrupted when the door to your apartment flew open, and your mother seemed to glide inside, letting the door close behind her. Her eyes scanned the apartment until they found you, and you couldn’t decide if she was angry at you or not. At the sight of you, your mother sighed—even in her apparent disappointment, which you wouldn’t pretend not to know the cause of, your mother had a regal stance worthy of the senator of Coruscant, with her dark beige suit and her expertly done hair; even her floral scent that commanded respect.

You tried to be as nonchalant as possible, gesturing at the coffee brewer with your hand and raising your eyebrows. Your mother sighed again and shook her head, and instead, she gestured with her chin at the holopad that rested on your counter.

“Have you opened that thing this morning?” She asked you.

“Yes,” you uttered.

“Darling, what were you thinking?” Your mother now seemed more worried than angry at you. “Do you at least know this man well enough?”

“Well enough to know I’m head over heels for him,” you admitted.

“And then there’s that ridiculous gossip site,” your mom continued. “I tell myself it’s no big deal, just a little source of entertainment for spoiled rich teens with nothing better to do, but I can’t fathom the fact that now they’re picking on you. I’m too nervous to read any of the posts or the comments thinking about all the horribly unkind things everyone’s sharing about you… people can be so cruel.”

You sighed. “I know, but, Mom… as far as I’ve checked, the things Scandal Gal and the readers are saying aren’t that bad…”

“Meaning?” She inquired.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “They love him. They’re saying he’s devastatingly handsome and fawning over him, some of them even want to go stand outside the clone bar to see if they can get boyfriends.”

“But what are they saying about you?” She asked.

“I’m a hero. They like my dress, the scarf I wore, and the man I’m with. I think there’s an ongoing wager as to whether or not I’ll marry him,” you delivered blankly.

Your mother’s eyes widened, and you held in your laughter at her reaction.

“Mom, relax,” you said. “I’m not saying I will. But I do really like him. And all things considered, I expected mayhem, and even if there are a few mean things here and there, they don’t compare to how good most of the responses are.”

“That’s rare,” your mother admitted. “And I suppose you’re right, you can’t control what everyone says.”

“And I won’t try to,” you agreed. “I’m just saying it could be a lot worse and if it’s not as bad as I thought it could be, I’m gonna embrace it.”

For a split second, your mother looked at you in plain disbelief. Regardless, she sighed, straightened her back, and gathered herself, and she met your gaze again with understanding.

“Alright, now tell me, who is this man?” She asked.

“He’s the sniper who took out the assassin who tried to kill the Chancellor,” you said as you poured your cup of coffee.

Your mom raised her eyebrows. “Oh.”

“Oh?” You raised your eyebrows too, pouring another cup for your mother.

“I met him at the start of the opera,” she explained. “I even invited him to our box, but he said he already had one, he didn’t want to refuse it and seem rude.”

“Yeah, he was invited because of his efforts,” you said. “In fact, I… I met him during the final intermission at the opera. We got to talking and he’s just… fascinating.”

Those were all the details you’d give to your mother about that night.

Your mother’s demeanor seemed to soften as she drank from the coffee you’d given her. With a soft exhale, she set the cup down on the counter and pressed her hands together in front of her chest, avoiding your gaze for a few moments.

“Sweetie, I don’t want you to think I’m exploiting your relationship with this man,” she began.

You tilted your head. That was one of the last things you’d expected her to say.

She then met your gaze. “But this is actually a very good look.”

“What, for you?” You asked.

Your mother chuckled. “I have spent months collaborating with Senator Chuchi to pass a clone rights bill. When your… boyfriend…”

You chuckled. “Crosshair.”

She nodded slowly. “Right. When Crosshair saved the Chancellor’s life, we got a lot more support, but we’re not quite there yet. Too many people view the clones as vessels bred for combat, not as actual human beings with human emotions and human needs. And, as triumphant as Crosshair was in saving the Chancellor, his effort was still that of a soldier, hence why we’re, as I said…”

“Not quite there yet,” you continued. “And… you think that if I’m public with him, so public that people are talking about relationships and gossiping like they do with anyone else in our society, he’ll look more human.”

“And by extension, the rest of the clones,” your mother added. “It just might shift the tide in favor of finally giving them some more rights.”

You smiled softly and took another ship of your coffee. “I love the sound of that. I just don’t know how I feel about scheming regarding Crosshair.”

“Be honest with him, then,” your mother suggested. “If you’re not on board, be as private as you possibly can, I won’t hold it against you. It was just an idea. And now that I think about it…”

You looked up at her again, waiting for what else she had to say.

“We do have that art gala coming up tonight,” she suggested. “Why don’t you invite him?”

You nodded slowly. “I’ll ask him. I wouldn’t mind getting all fancy and seeing him, but for starters, he needs to want to go.”

“He went to the opera, didn’t he?”

“Well, yes, but that was an invitation of honor,” you answered. “And he didn’t seem like a fish out of water, but I can’t help thinking this just isn’t what he’s used to.”

Your mother gazed at you sincerely. “Don’t you cage him into the label of a soldier, too. If you like this man and you want to be with him, you’re going to have to realize he’s more than that.”

You raised both of your brows. You knew she was right, and to have heard that coming from your mother, it meant volumes. You barely ever approached what she did inside the senate, but you pondered on how much her words made sense based on what little she’d shared with you about her efforts with the Pantoran senator. And even if she wasn’t trying to pass a clone rights bill, she was still right—Crosshair was a living, breathing man, and even though you knew he was a soldier, you hadn’t met him as such. You’d seen him at a high society gathering over drinks. You’d shared coffee and bantered with him, kissed him under the rain, made love to him time and time again until you couldn’t get him out of your thoughts.

As soon as your mother left, you reached for your holopad and ignored the multiple notifications you had, heading straight for Crosshair’s frequency number and typing out your message at least three times before sending it, trying to find the most chill way to invite him to the art gala. You sent the message and waited for the reply, frantically scurrying to your holopad anytime it vibrated. For a while, he didn’t answer, and before you lost hope, you finally saw the notifications coming in from Crosshair.

Can’t resist another little encounter with me, can’t you, Sweetie?

You chuckled, but you felt nervous at the same time. That obviously meant he’d been, in some way, exposed to Scandal Gal too.

How fancy do I have to dress? His next message came in shortly after.

You chuckled at your phone and typed back: Fancy enough to knock everyone dead.

Instantly, Crosshair replied: ’Kay. I’ll be there.

After you texted him all the details of the event, you went about your day with a twinge of excitement sprinkled over your every move. The sun made its way around the sky until it was time for you to get ready for the event, and for this occasion, you chose a dark purple dress paired with long black gloves and no necklace, since you’d be wearing your hair down your shoulders. The dress’s top had a black ribbon outlined in the shape of a triangle, with the base at your waist, and it was filled with discreet black sequins. On the right shoulder, where the dress’s top met your sleeve, you placed a dark gray brooch that your mother had given you on your eighteenth birthday, and looking at yourself in the mirror, you were almost ready to go. You did your makeup and grabbed your purse, and then you went out the door to the nightlife of Coruscant, where your mother was already waiting at the bottom of the building with a vehicle.

Your pulse was racing for the whole ride, knowing you would meet Crosshair there. You clutched your purse with both hands over your pressed thighs, and you could feel beads of sweat forming in your palms, having to take deep breaths from time to time to keep yourself steady. The vehicle finally arrived at the gala and parked just in front of the red carpet you were meant to walk on, and only then it dawned on you that multiple pairs of eyes thirsting for scandal would be on you. But you wouldn’t back out, not now, not when you were the very image of elegance in society about to meet with your Silver Fox Dream, as Scandal Gal had put it.

You resolved to knock them all dead too.

The door on your side of the vehicle was opened by an usher, and you stepped out, straightening your posture and taking in the scenery of flashing cameras and excited partygoers, and confident as you looked, your heartbeat hadn’t calmed down in the slightest. You looked around, scanning for the only person you were interested in seeing.

And soon enough, your eyes landed on him. His attire was possibly better than the one he wore the night of the opera, with a slim fit pitch-black suit and shirt, adorned with a burgundy vest under the coat, and rich red rose in his breast pocket. Crosshair’s watchful eyes gazed back at you, and as you remained still in front of your vehicle while your mother got out, Crosshair made his way to you, letting you behold every detail on him as he got closer to you, and when he was finally right in front of you, you took in all of him.

Crosshair was strikingly debonair, undeniably gorgeous, charming in his pride and confidence. He even smelled incredible. His tall figure seemed to loom protectively over you, complimenting your lack of height when you stood next to him, and you both made such a perfect pair you almost hoped that gossiping teenage girls were in proximity to behold your beauty, perhaps even eat their hearts out as a treat for you.

“Miss,” Crosshair greeted as he took your hand and brought it up to his lips, placing a soft kiss to your knuckles.

His gentle kiss ignited every inch of your skin as you briefly remembered the moments of passion you’d already shared with that man. You gave him a demure smile, taking one step closer to him, wishing with every fiber of your body to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in for a kiss not unlike the one you’d had under the rain the day before, but perhaps it wasn’t the time or place for such a public display. Moreover, as Crosshair was lowering your hand down from his gesture, your mother exited the vehicle and appeared at your side, smiling at Crosshair.

He acknowledged her and gave her the hint of a smile, taking a slight bow. “Ma’am.”

He held out his hand, offering her the chance to be greeted in a similar way as you, and to your surprise, your mother obliged.

“It’s wonderful to see you again,” your mother said to him. “I didn’t know you’d met my daughter until this morning.”

“She’s a wonderful lady, ma’am,” Crosshair responded without a hint of hesitation or insecurity.

You were in awe at how easily he was getting along with your mother as the two continued to make small conversation, and soon enough, your mom went ahead and entered the building, with you and Crosshair following behind, your arm linked in his. Camera flashes on you weren’t scarce, and in the distance, you could hear high-pitched cries of “There they are!” and “They’re so hot together!”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly at yourself.

“Basking in your triumph?” Crosshair broke the silence between you.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“That was a bold move, inviting me here, introducing me to your mother,” he continued, his features holding the sternness they usually did, but you picked up on no disgust on his behalf.

“Yeah, well…” You said. “Overnight, we kind of became public figures, you and me. There’s this gossip site that’s been following me around for a while, nothing major, but when you and I started talking at the opera, we got popular.”

“Ah, Scandal Gal,” Crosshair mused. “Yes, I was approached and stalked by a teen.”

You nearly snorted trying to hold in your laughter. “What?”

“The picture of me that’s on that site was taken by a sixteen-year-old girl,” Crosshair said, smirking. “Somehow, I’m more afraid of gossip-hungry teens than I am of tactical droids.”

You chuckled. “They’re formidable, alright.”

“So… you’re feeding them what they want by bringing me here?” He continued the conversation.

“No, not exactly,” you replied. “That’s a side effect. Because of Scandal Gal, my mom rushed over to my place this morning panicking a little, but I explained to her that… well…”

You and Crosshair had just reached the bar of the opulent salon where the gala was being held, and you both took a seat on your respective stools. Crosshair eyed you with intrigue as you trailed off, prompting you to speak up, and you realized why you’d stopped yourself from saying what you wanted to say.

But this was Crosshair. He was a dream incarnate, and you were already there with him, a striking and attractive couple that commanded everyone’s attention, and you found yourself smiling at him as your pulse rose once more.

“That I… I feel a lot for you,” you said. “That I really like you, Crosshair, and this isn’t a meaningless fling for the sake of shock value to me.”

Crosshair maintained eye contact with you, and his features softened ever so slightly, so discreetly that an untrained eye wouldn’t have been able to notice. He broke eye contact with you to gesture at the bartender and order drinks for both of you, and then he turned back to you, with his lips curving to a smirk.

“Well, well,” he hummed. “How touching.”

It was good that he didn’t appear repulsive at your sentiments, but your poor, racing heart would need a more precise answer. Then, Crosshair’s smirk widened, and he looked down at his knees, letting his inner softness glow through if only for a moment.

“It’s not meaningless for me either,” he replied.

You smiled brightly and exhaled the tension from your chest. “Really?”

“Really,” he answered.

“Then… there’s something else you should know,” you said.

And you then explained how your mother wouldn’t use you both, but that you were supporting her cause in the senate, how him being exposed to something other than the front lines would put clones in a more human light, at least to the members of the senate who were still on the fence. You even gave Crosshair the opportunity to back out immediately if he felt like his strings were being pulled, but all the while, Crosshair remained with that serene smile at you, and when you were done talking, Crosshair reached for your hands and held them in his.

“Does this bill mean I’ll get paid more?” He asked.

You laughed openly, and he chuckled in return just as the drinks he’d ordered were placed beside you by the bartender.

“Sweetie,” he said to you. “I don’t care much about the other things. Not Scandal Gal, not the Senate, although that bill sounds decent. I came here to be with you because I can’t get you out of my brain. You’re not what I pictured a high-society woman to be, and… well…”

You smiled softly at him, and now it was your turn to prompt him to speak.

“Now that you’ve introduced me to your mother,” he said, “I hope I get the chance to introduce you to my brothers too.”

Your smile widened. “You’d do that?”

He nodded, smiling softly at you. “You’re a smart girl, you can handle it.”

You laughed and reached for your drink, an Urban Flora cocktail that could have been an exact replica of the one you drank when you first met Crosshair at the opera. You took a sip of it without breaking eye contact with Crosshair, and when you lowered your drink, you raised a brow at him.

“But can you handle the Coruscant high societal scene?” You asked.

Crosshair took a sip of his own drink, the smoky, rich Corellian whisky he loved so much, and he leaned in closer to you, close enough for you to smell the smooth, luscious drink on his breath.

“Try me, Sweetie,” he purred.

You giggled, and you both gently bumped your glasses together, and you went on to continue talking about whatever sparked your interest as you finished your drinks. Crosshair told you about his missions, his brothers, even a couple of anecdotes of when he was a young cadet. In turn, you told him about your days as a schoolgirl, your plans for the future, what you liked to do in your spare time, the planets you longed to visit all over the galaxy. And then, when the glasses were empty and the conversation was fulfilled, you and Crosshair stood up from the bar and went around the room, and you greeted most of your friends and acquaintances as well as introduced Crosshair to all of them. Crosshair was a flying success with everyone, and you couldn’t help but gawk at him just a little. The night wore on as smoothly as velvet, until it was getting late, and you were bound to return home.

You directed a look at Crosshair, a look that was filled with allure, and he reciprocated. Quick goodbyes were said, and soon, you were sitting with Crosshair at the back of your vehicle as the chauffeur flew you home. As you sat together, you were in silence, and though Crosshair was great with words, you’d learned he was far better with his actions, and he reached for the rose on his breast pocket and handed it to you. You smiled at him, slightly flustered, and for the remainder of the ride, you scooched closer to him and leaned your weight on him, eager to arrive at the privacy of your apartment.

You had no intention of waiting. After you and Crosshair had left the vehicle, the moment the elevator doors closed behind you, you were both on each other. Your hands ran all over his back as you both locked lips, hungrily devouring each other in that small space, and you then let your palms rest on his chest. Crosshair took each of your hands and tugged gently at your middle fingertips, enough to hold onto the gloves you wore as you slid your hands down and the delicate fabric came off, exposing your skin. You heard Crosshair shudder softly before he took you into his arms again, kissing you as passionately as before, and you both felt the elevator pulling to a stop.

You gathered yourselves—there was no need to surprise someone waiting for the elevator with a steamy scene—but when you found there was no one there to see you, you and Crosshair held hands as you made your way over to your penthouse, and the moment the door closed behind you both, you were on each other’s lips once more. Your wandering hands removed his coat and his vest, and he found the zipper at the back of your dress. He lowered the zipper, causing the dress’s blouse to fall limply around your silhouette, and you took a step back, wanting him to watch as you wiggled out of the dress and let the fabric fall gracefully on the floor, leaving you to step out of it.

Crosshair eyed you hungrily as you approached him. Your breasts hung freely at your front, and he didn’t miss the hickey he’d left on your ribs the day before. On your hips, there was a pair of lace black panties, but the top prize was easily taken by the stockings that covered you from the middle of your thighs to your toes, which he couldn’t make himself tear his gaze from. You chuckled and took his hands, leading him slowly into your bedroom, and he followed you blissfully until you were at the foot of your bed.

You let go of him and sat back all the way to your headboard. You pressed your legs together and slowly slid your panties away from you, tossing them aside, and you spread your legs to show him, never once breaking eye contact with him. Your gaze was alluring, slightly teasing, and Crosshair watched. He watched as you spread your legs and took your hand to your inner thigh, teasing your skin, until your fingers finally brushed fully over your folds and your clit. You let out a playful gasp, smirking at him and taunting him, and as he watched, Crosshair began to undress. Your smirk widened, and you continued to touch yourself in the way you most liked, delighted by the sight of him losing the clothes that covered him. Your cunt was wet and swollen, pulsating and sensitive, all you needed to do was increase your pace ever so slightly and you’d tip yourself over the edge—as Crosshair crawled onto the mattress, you decided to give him the full show. Making sure his eyes were still on you, you applied more pressure onto your clit and used your three middle fingers to rub, and looking into his eyes, you finally got to enjoy the waves of your orgasm.

You reveled in how hungry Crosshair looked, pleased and aroused by the little show you put on for him. Crosshair couldn’t help but take his hand over to his cock, pumping slowly as he watched you pleasing yourself, until your orgasm faded, and your moans quieted when you removed your hand. You found Crosshair’s gaze and pouted at him, holding your hand in front of you and curling your finger, beckoning him to come to you. With a smirk, Crosshair obliged, and he positioned himself between your legs, planting soft kisses around your inner thighs before brushing his tongue lusciously over your folds. He moaned into your skin, and you whimpered in return, dazed and sensitive after your antics.

As Crosshair continued to please you with his skilled tongue and lips, you suddenly felt his fingers finding yours. You spread your hand before interlacing your fingers with his, holding him as he brought you closer to another release. Your body squirmed harder than it had the first time around, the white-hot ecstasy seeming to explode within every fiber of your body. You didn’t hold back with your moaning, letting his name escape you many a time, enticed by the velvety texture of his tongue contrasting with the raspiness surrounding his jawline.

When Crosshair emerged from between your legs, you tugged on him, prompting him to rest at your eye level. You wanted to feel him close to you, and Crosshair knew what it was you desired. With your legs still spread, you rested back and let him take the lead, feeling as he slowly inserted himself within your tight, warm walls. You both moaned in unison and stared deeply into each other’s eyes as he began his thrusts slowly, luxuriously letting you feel everything. Your lips begged for his, and you perked your face up to kiss him as you felt your body gently bouncing on the mattress in his rhythm. Crosshair’s kisses made you float higher and higher, and drenched in pleasure and ecstasy, you felt like you were in paradise. Crosshair was truly capable of taking you there.

Crosshair paused his kisses on your lips and lifted himself to look at you, his gaze stern and seductive as he increased the snapping of his hips. He grunted as he hammered into you, shuddering and twitching inside you in anticipation, soon unable to contain soft groans and whimpers. Crosshair looked straight into your eyes, flooded by adoration of you, until the pleasure was too much for him to keep his eyes open even as much as he wanted to gaze into you. His eyes shut and the rhythm of his hips became unfathomably fast, and so too, you descended into bliss for the third time that night. You smiled amidst your orgasm, chiming his name in a delicious moan, your hand still securely holding his as he released inside you and fell limp on the mattress beside you afterwards.

You both panted, each your own dazed and flustered mess as you made futile attempts to recover, but as much as you were both unable to do much else, you remained holding each other’s hands. As time passed, you soon felt Crosshair’s thumb brushing delicately up and down your finger, and you watched him with a tender gaze. You felt you’d fall asleep right there, and if you did, you knew you would want for nothing. You knew you’d have nothing to worry about for as long as you were together, and the pain of temporary separations would be worth it if it was Crosshair you would wait for.

And there on your mattress, filled with love, resolve, and exhaustion, you drifted off into sleep.

A gentle sunlight and the song of birds woke you up. You noticed the space beside your bed was empty, and you didn’t waste time getting up and placing your robe over you as you sought out your lover. You walked over to the living room and your attention was drawn to the balcony, where he stood with his back turned on you, shirtless and wearing his pants from the night before, gazing out at the scenery.

You took a moment to admire him and the way his skin appeared golden under the morning sun, contrasting almost artistically with the green plants on your balcony, the blue sky, and the skyline ahead. With soft steps, you approached him and stepped out onto the balcony, and you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind, pressing a soft kiss on his shoulder blade. Crosshair delicately shuffled and brought your figure next to him, draping his arm around you, and you both stood in silence for a few peaceful moments, watching the scenery.

“What are you watching?” You asked him, knowing it was in his nature to observe.

His amber eyes scanned the scenery, and he almost looked humbled. He had the face of an innocent life being beholding the universe ahead of them, realizing how small they truly were in comparison to the greatness of creation itself.

“Out there, as soldiers,” Crosshair began, “it often feels like we fight because it’s all we know. We were made for it. Myself, my brothers, more obviously bred for different purposes, all to serve one war. But aside from why we were created, we never really stop to think what we’re fighting for.”

You looked up at him, watching his features soften in realization as he spoke. Crosshair then angled his body more towards you, and he held you tighter, pressing you to the warmth of his skin, watching you with the most tender gaze you had ever felt on you.

“I won’t forget this next time I’m on the battlefield,” he continued.

“You mean, Coruscant?” You asked. “The Republic, these people, this skyline… peace?”

He smiled. “I mean you.”

You smiled at him, devoted.

Crosshair chuckled. “All of that, too, but, mostly you.”

“Oh, Crosshair,” you wrapped your arms around him and perked on your toes, requesting a kiss.

Crosshair obliged and kissed you gently, almost carefully, feeling as the sunshine draped over his skin. He wished he could remain there longer, but he had a duty, a duty that had brought him to you, and a duty that he had to fulfill in order to one day be with you more properly. He knew that, with you on Coruscant waiting for him, he’d always have a reason to return, and a reason to keep fighting. He’d never thought of a life besides being a soldier, but if you were in it, it couldn’t be so bad.

And out there, on that balcony, Crosshair held you close to him until the very last moment he could spare with you, until he had to leave again to be a soldier, always with the promise of returning to you.

This just in: Sweetie and Sniper Man are still together and far more public now that I and my loyal sources have done our job ;) I do think we have a power couple in our midst, and the next time these two show up at a fancy event dressed to impress, you’ll hear about it from none other than yours truly. I certainly wish the happy couple all the best, and my challenge towards Sniper Man to bring forth more eligible men from the fine and respectable GAR still stands. Help us gals out, Sniper Man, we all love you so much, and we can’t let Sweetie keep all the spoils!

Yours truly!

Thank you for reading! Please consider reblogging to support me!

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#uf series #moonstrider writes #tbb smut #tbb crosshair smut #crosshair smut #tbb crosshair x reader #crosshair x reader #tbb crosshair x you #crosshair x you #tbb crosshair #the bad batch smut #tbb fanfic #the bad batch fanfic #tbb fanfiction

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ceo-of-sloppy-women · 2 months ago

Text

No grave can hold my body down; I'll crawl home to her

rating: mature

chapter 2

Chapter 3

“Wakey, wakey, princess,” Sevika rumbles in front of you, her voice reverberating through your body. She nudges you carefully with her elbow, eyes still focused on the trail ahead.

You blink your eyes open sleepily, peering out across the field as the morning sun washes over untended wheat crops. “Mm, what time is it?”

“Breakfast. Need you to grab it out of the pouch next to you; then you can go back to drooling on my shoulder,” Sevika requests, nodding her head towards the pouch to your right.

“Oh, absolutely, hold on!” you quickly agree, consciousness rapidly returning at the prospect of a meal. You nearly dive off the horse and into the grass as you grab out two rations. Dried jerky, fruit and some nuts.

“Thanks… but why don’t you hold it for me?” Sevika suggests as you hand her the pouch. She shoots a cheeky grin over her shoulder as if this had been her plan all along. “Only got one hand, and I need it to steer.”

Rationally, you know you have two options: refuse and let her manage by herself, as she probably has a hundred times… or take advantage of the situation as much as possible. It probably wouldn’t hurt to keep her on your good side either; an ally in the settlement would deter unwanted attention, especially if that ally is as intimidating as Sevika. And if you also want to see her lips wrapped around your fingers, who could blame you?

“Fine, but only because I’d rather not wind up underneath Duchess today,” you agree, feigning reluctance.

“You’re a doll,” Sevika hums as you rustle in the ration back. You try not to let the compliment go to your head.

Picking out a piece of jerky, you pass it over her shoulder, watching as she grabs it with her hand, reigns clutched tightly and bends slightly to pop it in her mouth. You’re a little disappointed, chewing on your own jerky as you grab a dried cherry from hers. This time, she turns her head slightly and hums, licking the cherry from your fingers as if it were absolutely normal and not incredibly obscene to watch her lips wrap around your fingers to pull the cherry away. You swear she ran her tongue between your fingers for the briefest moment.

“Sweet. Good choice,” Sevika hums.

Stunned speechless from her display, you eat in silence, feeding her pieces occasionally. She took most everything from your hand with her own until you reached the bottom of her ration pouch, which was filled with nuts. She took the bag from you, tilted it back and let the nuts fall into her mouth before tucking the empty bag into her pocket.

“You got a light?” she asks, pulling out a carton of cigarettes from her pocket. They look to be hand-rolled – which was likely, given that cigarette manufacturers have been out of business for a long time now. She places it between her lips and nods to the reigns: “Got my hands full and all.”

“Yet you were able to get it out of your pocket,” you tease her, fidgeting a little to pull your lighter from your pocket.

“Don’t need to take my eyes off the trail for that. Lighting it requires more attention. You don’t want to wind up under Duchess today, now do you?” she grins cheekily at you, a playful glint in her eyes.

With a huff, you lean forward and light her cigarette, watching the cherry bloom as the paper meets your lighter. She hums in satisfaction, taking long, leisurely drags as silence falls over the two of you. You have long since stopped caring about getting cancer and dying from second-hand smoke – it’s still better than infected eating you alive. Instead, you settle back down and gingerly wrap your arms around her waist again. She rests her hand over them and pats them lightly, the reigns held loosely in her fingers.

Sevika makes no move to speak, the two of you easing into silence. Just the gentle sway of Duchess’ trot, rocking your hips lightly against Sevika’s as you bounce on Duchess’ hind legs. The rest of the group rides around you, chattering with each other quietly and keeping watch on the horizon. In this sea of wheat, you’re bound to notice anyone coming long before they reach you, but there’s a blade of anxiety stuck between your ribs at the idea that someone could sneak through the wheat unnoticed. It has grown tall since the end of the world, unkempt by farmers, easily able to disguise anything creeping around as long as they don’t move too erratically. Perhaps that’s what keeps you clammed up… that or your silent debate about whether or not Sevika was flirting with you. You’re fairly certain, given Jinx’s comment, that she likes women, but you could just be superimposing your own attraction onto her out of blind hope. Jinx’s jokes – friendly as they are – don’t seem to be a reliable source of information.

There was one surefire way to know if Sevika does, though… but you might shatter the very bonds of friendship brewing between the two of you. If she is straight and takes offence to being asked – especially if it costs you this friendship – you might just leave the settlement and head back out on your own. Well, okay, that isn’t entirely true. Everyone has been extremely nice, and a safe place to sleep trumps all awkward tension you might create with your new friend. Besides, asking couldn’t possibly indicate you liked her – at least not in an obvious manner. Hopefully. You just have to go about this in the right way and –

“What’s got your panties in a knot?” Sevika asks over her shoulder, watching an approaching treeline.

“Pardon?” you squeak, startling against her. You scramble to tighten your grip, almost slipping off Duchess.

“You’ve been squirming for the past fifteen minutes. Need me to stop and let you take a leak or something?” She nods to the treeline.

Embarrassment consumes you as your face flushes bright red. The absolute last thing you wanted her to think about is your bathroom habits! “No! No. No, I’m just… thinking.”

“About?” Sevika continues to press, refusing to let the topic go.

“I was just… wondering how you felt about queer people? I’m a lesbian, and I don’t want to find out down the road I accidentally joined a bunch of… you know.” God, why did you have to make it sound so awkward? This is worse – you should have lied and said you had to pee or something.

Sevika barks out in laughter, catching the attention of the others around you. Oh gods, this is absolutely worse, why you? Why must you be punished so!? Vander whips around and arches an eyebrow, slowing his pace down next to you. You try and curl up behind Sevika, face mimicking a stop-light as you will yourself to wake up from this nightmare. Unfortunately, this is very much reality, and you are going absolutely nowhere.

“Tell a good joke there? I don’t think I’ve heard Sevika laugh like that in months,” Vander interjects, a good-natured smile on his face.

“Vander –“ Sevika wheezes her way into another little laughing fit – “Vander, what do you think your husband’s doing right now?”

“Silco’s probably pacing the floor, watching the horizon for our return. Why? What’s that got to do with you laughing?” Vander replies, his brow creased forward, utterly baffled.

Your mouth forms into a small O-shape: “That’s a relief.”

“Our newest member here just asked me if I was okay with her being a lesbian,” Sevika deadpans to Vander, and you feel like an utter fool as Jinx nearly falls off her horse as she peels into laughter.

“Wait – for real?! You just asked Sevika that? She, like, practically wrote the book on being a lesbian!” Jinx manages to say between fits of laughter, Ekko riding closer to her to make sure she’s not about to fall out of the saddle.

Reaching across the horses, Vander pats your thigh gently. There’s an air of fatherly comfort as he smiles at you patiently. It’s a welcome change to being laughed at. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. You’re safe with us. The world may have gone to shit, but it took its filth with it and left behind its warmth.”

Your heart melts at his kindness, and you finally manage to calm down enough to meet his gaze, offering him a relieved smile. “That’s… you have no idea how good it is to hear that.” Seriously, he doesn’t. Knowing you have a shot with Sevika and she wasn’t just “being friendly” is almost overwhelming. It makes all of the bullshit in your life seem a little worth it.

“Good! Now, we have to pick up the pace to get home tonight. I don’t want to spend another night sleeping in the middle of nowhere!” Vander announces, nudging his horse forward. “Let’s get home, people – our warm beds await!”

You wrap your arms tighter around Sevika as she nudges Duchess faster to match Vander’s pace. Her hand no longer rests over your own so she can keep a steady grip on the reigns. But she does toss her head over her shoulder one final time to say: “Might want to get a little closer, Duchess hears ‘faster’ and likes to take off.”

“Thanks for the warning,” you mumble into her shoulder, timidly shuffling a little further up.

Sevika huffs lightly and drops the reigns. You yelp, grabbing the reigns as they fall, leaving yourself totally open to her blur of forward motion. Reaching around behind you, she pulls you flush against her back, hand splayed across your back, fingertips brushing your belt. Satisfied you’re secure, she takes the reigns back and races off after Vander without another word. There isn’t an inch of space between the two of you now; you can’t help but blush as you feel her strong back move against your chest. Your heart flutters at the thought of being pressed up against her in bed like this. Instinctually, you curl your arms tighter around her; one hand splayed out just under her breasts, the other curled around her waist. If Sevika asks, you’ll lie and say you didn’t want to fall off as Duchess started racing. Sevika doesn’t ask… but she also doesn’t tell you to fix your hands.

///

Fields of grass and wheat blur into hills, then mountains, as your group is swallowed whole by slumbering giants. The mountain trails are dangerous and thin, forcing the horses to slow down in order not to fall. You cling to Sevika, face buried in her shoulder as you will yourself not to look down. She smells like sweat, blood and mildew – not a very attractive scent, but in a world where blood and sweat meant survival, you huffed down as much as you could without seeming suspicious. There was also an underlying scent, something minty and soap-like, that reminded you of the comforts of civilization. Maybe you’re imagining it – a memory your brain is imposing onto the experience to block out the uglier scents – but if it’s not… it might mean there’s clean enough water to actually bathe at the settlement. You can’t even remember the last time you had a proper wash.

Much to your surprise, her shoulder remains perfectly still the entire time. Even when Duchess jostles the two of you, it is as if Sevika’s frozen in place to shield you from the vertigo-inducing depths below. You mouth a silent “thank you” into her shoulder, eyes shut tight as you place your full trust in Sevika. If infected tore out of the bush right now, you’d be ill-prepared, but this woman is armed tooth to nail. You’ll be safe long enough to grab a weapon of your own.

She makes you feel like you’d be safe anywhere. It feels so foreign after so long, alone and afraid. You feel naked in an indescribable way despite your warm hunting coat and double-layered socks.

“You can look now,” Sevika grunts after what feels like an eternity.

Gingerly lifting your head, you gaze out across the valley below. It’s picturesque! The ruins of a small town have been repaired and rebuilt on either side of a winding river that cuts through the centre of town. Fences have been installed around the perimeter, disguised by brush and paint to not ruin the view of the valley with a harsh metal fence. From this far up, you can’t see much in the way of people, but signs of life litter the settlement, from market stalls to lights illuminating windows. It has been so long since you saw a light – a beacon of home and comfort. Small checkpoints litter the valley – ruins of old buildings and new ones slowly constructed over the last few years. There are even a few crop fields illuminated in dying daylight. For a moment, you forget all about Shimmer, the infected and the end of the world, allowing yourself a tiny, elated gasp as you squeeze Sevika tighter.

“Thank you,” you whisper into her shoulder.

Sevika chuckles, the vibrato rumbling through your body like the bassline of a grandiose song from a time when radios still had power. “It’s even better up close,” she promises, stroking her thumb over the back of your hand. “Come on, let’s find you somewhere warm to sleep tonight. Sound good?”

“Sounds like heaven,” you practically moan, causing her to chuckle again.

“HURRY UP!” Jinx whines from further down the path, having been forced to stop and wait for the two of you. Vander had assigned the three of you together to pass through the mountains, as it was safer to have someone watching your back (or able to run for help) if you encountered trouble. Jinx is bundled in a winter coat to ward off the chill of the mountains, a scarf wrapped around her face and a comically large hat. She is most definitely overheating underneath all of it, but Vander had insisted, and Jinx had barely protested against his wishes.

“WE’RE COMING! HOLD YOUR DAMN HORSES!” Sevika calls back, grumbling to herself as she nudges Duchess forward.

You shut your eyes once more, not wanting to watch the final descent. You had tried earlier, but your gasps and whimpers had put Sevika on edge. Which was never a good thing to do to the woman currently guiding a horse down a steep mountain path. Instead, you wait until she tells you it’s all right to look around again.

Thirty minutes later, you are down the mountain and finally able to look around again. Dusk has settled into the valley, casting most of the details in shadow, but what little you can make out captivates you. Signs of life you had once thought nearly impossible – especially for yourself, a wanderer no one was willing to take in – now blossomed before your eyes. As Duchess trots up to the gate and people start shouting, you’re in awe. There are people. Real people, willing to let you through the front doors as you pass by the trading post. Wanted. Welcomed. Overwhelmed. You clutch Sevika tighter, and she hums, patting your hands. Her usage of touch as reassurance seems to be a familiar occurrence – not that you were complaining. You only hoped she’d continue to touch you once you were out of the saddle and just another member of the town.

The gates swing wide to reveal a slender man leaning on a fancy cane alongside Vander, waiting for you. His winter jacket has been wrapped hastily around his body, the front still hanging open. The nastiest scar is scraped across his face – you can’t help but wonder about its origins. You’re not rude enough to ask him outright; hopefully, Sevika is willing to fill you in on everyone later.

Jinx scrambles off her horse as a stable hand leads it away, running toward the duo and flinging herself into the arms of the slighter man. He chuckles softly, patting his back as he buries his scarred face in her shoulder for a moment. With a light kiss on the forehead, he pulls away and looks her over. Vander wraps his arms around them lovingly, one hand on each of their shoulders and a proud smile on his face.

The slide of Sevika’s hips pulls your attention away as she swings herself out of the saddle, grunting at the sensation of finally standing on her own two legs. You stare down at her, watching her muscles flex and strain as she stretches out her sore body. She rolls her shoulders and scowls at the tension, rubbing the shoulder of her missing arm. Her crop top rides up underneath her jacket, exposing more of her abdomen and several jagged, painful scars. With a small huff of air, she attempts to blow her hair out of her face and only grumbles when more falls down with it. You know you’re staring, but you can’t stop yourself from admiring the gorgeous woman before you, even as she scowls at the ground.

Too quickly, she turns back to you and holds out her arms expectantly.

“Come on, princess, time to walk on your own feet again,” Sevika says, coaxing you forward by flexing her fingers.

“I know, I know,” you giggle, letting her grab your waist and lift you down. Even one-handed, it’s like you weigh nothing to her. Your legs wobble underneath you as you remember how to stand. Luckily, Sevika holds you until you aren’t about to collapse. You smile sheepishly up at her; she grins back, a glint of something almost predatory in her eyes.

“Like a baby deer,” she chuckles, ruffling your hair.

“Oh shut up,” you huff, shoving her shoulder lightly.

The shove barely moves her shoulder an inch – it doesn’t even cause her feet to skid on the snow! Sevika chuckles more, grinning with that same predatory glint in her eyes.

“Baby. Deer.”

“Asshole,” you mimic, rolling your eyes.

She merely grins back at you: “Damn right, princess.”

“You’re insufferable,” you mutter, turning back around to grab your backpack from Duchess.

Sevika brushes you away, tossing her saddlebags over her left shoulder and your backpack on her right. You reach to take it from her, not wanting to overburden her as you know how heavy the books inside it are.

“I’ve got it,” she grunts, grip holding firm.

“If you’re sure – it’s pretty full, and I don’t want to put you out –“

“I said: I’ve got it.”

You bob your head awkwardly, conceding to her. Satisfied you won’t try to make a grab for it again, Sevika stalks toward Vander and the other man, whom you’re fairly certain is Silco. They’re still waiting in the same spot, Jinx having run off somewhere into town. You stick to Sevika’s side like glue, the sudden influx of people around you becoming overwhelming. Initially, you had thought you’d feel safer with more people around, but after years of living on your own it’s a jarring change that your mind can’t seem to adjust to. Sevika acts as a beacon in the storm, guiding you to where you’re needed next. She’s also holding your backpack – you kind of need that.

The slighter man arches an eyebrow at you when you finally reach him. Leaning on his cane, Vander’s arm curled around him, he starts to speak: “It’s not often Sevika brings home a stray. You must have really impressed her.”

He elongates “impressed” as if its supposed to harbour a double meaning. Beside you, Sevika huffs and rolls her eyes.

“I ain’t never brought home a stray, Silco. Don’t get pragmatic on me now; you didn’t say shit when Jinx brought back Ekko and the Firelights,” Sevika grumbles, shifting your backpack onto her shoulder. She takes a step toward you, crowding your space as she looms over you.

“Testy today,” Silco chuckles, shaking his head to hide his smile. “Vander says you’re pulling all your favours to gain permission for her to stay. I won’t allow it.”

“Silco –“ Sevika starts, her hand wrapping around your shoulder to pull you to her side. Too stunned to speak, you stiffen against her side like a deer in headlights.

“Relax –“ Vander interjects, holding his hands up in surrender – “What Silco means to say is that this won’t make us square. You’ve done too much for us, Sev’. We won’t allow you to use her as an excuse to dodge our kindness.”

Silco nods in agreement with him. Sevika eases slightly against you but continues to hold onto your shoulder. You swallow thickly, feeling her heart hammer against her chest.

“What’s the catch? Vander said it we’d be square – how’d you change his mind?”

“Vander didn’t quite know who you were bringing back. Her knowledge – book and journals included – are more valuable to us than a random just stray you found in the ruins. Singed has been salivating at the mouth ever since we acquired just one of her journals,” Silco explains calmly, offering you a charitable smile. “Your observations have been immensely helpful in furthering his work… even if I don’t quite know what that work is half of the time.”

“You’re… welcome?” you manage to squeak out, shuffling from foot to foot.

Silco nods his head gently and addresses the both of you: “Unfortunately, we hadn’t expected a new member of our community so soon. We are still accommodating a few refugees brought in from the ruins of Piltover a few weeks back. So, you will have to put up with our grumpy friend here for a little longer. Sevika’s one of the few members of our little community who still lives entirely by herself, I’m sure she’s got a spare room or couch you can crash on until we fix up a house for you.”

You remember Piltover – it had been a large city of progress on the coast… and the first to be hit with a heavy wave of Shimmer. Infected had overtaken the city in a matter of hours – people barely got out, and those who did spread the infection across the country. You weren’t too surprised that people had hunkered down in the city instead of fleeing, but it was surprising to hear they had managed to survive inside city limits for this long. Part of you hopes you can meet them: maybe they’ll have new insights on Shimmer that you can compare to your own observations. It might be helpful for whoever this Singed guy is (if he hasn’t already asked them).

“What – I –!” Sevika starts to protest, letting go of your shoulder and stepping away from you. Desperation edges her voice like a caged animal. “Silco, you can’t be serious! That was – that was our one deal! You know how much I like my space. There’s gotta be somewhere else she can stay – doesn’t Jinx have a spare room, or – or she can crash on your couch!”

#my writing #arcane #arcane fanfic #sevika #sevika x reader #sevika x you #fanfic: no grave...

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random-introverted-blog · 8 months ago

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Seed of Darkness [Dark Justiciar Shadowheart x F!Reader]

Exalted Nightsinger, blessed be the chosen womb

Intended Audience: Mature / EXPLICIT [I'm starting to realize how old I am when I talk to people born in the 2000's...]

The Bit: You are Dark Justiciar Shadowheart’s prisoner, kept in the Sharran dungeons where she has been training you, trying to make you yield and become hers completely. She has also been trying to get you pregnant without success. When she comes to visit you tonight, she might finally have something that will make it a reality...

Warnings/Advisories: SA, mind manipulation, mind breaking, emotional abuse, forced drug use, breeding (its called seed of darkness, come on...), impregnation, forced pregnancy, magical pregnancy, magic penis, possessive behavior, corruption, sex slavery (forced pregnacy, breeding kink should indicate that much but just in case...), dominant Shadowheart

Words, all the word (count): 3,171 baebeee

Co-written by my bestie, the bestest of besties @shadowfalllen - If you like this MAKE SURE YOU THANK HER. It's only because of her that it exists and is being posted. Again, it was written between us as a self indulgent fic lol.

Sharing some Dark Justiciar Shadowheart content in 3...2...1

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈--ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈--ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈-

The sound of the heavy door scraping the floor wakes you up from your daze. And the clanking of armor tingles your senses. "Wakey, wakey, my pretty, little slut..."

You jolt up as you hear her voice and back away from her as far as you can, looking around like a scared deer for a way out. There is no way out, you know it of course. You're in your familiar cell in the Sharran dungeon.

Shadowheart tsk's at you, wagging her finger. "Tut-tut, my sweet... You know better..." As she begins to unstrap her Dark Justiciar armor...

You look up at her as she's taking off her armor, knowing full well where this will lead, but you have no other option than to just cower in the far corner where the shadows of the room are even darker, trapped, waiting for her next move.

Shadowheart watches you a moment before nodding over to the direction of the bed. Raising an eyebrow expectantly. Tossing her armor on the ground when she gets the shoulders off, working on the chain mail beneath next.

"My good girl, are you going to behave for me...? You know how good I treat you when you behave... And the sooner you swell for me, the sooner I can lavish you with all the joys and affection you, and our little one, can fathom..." As she tosses the under layer of armor aside. Now working on unbuckling her belt. Her gaze fixed to yours, a few strands of black hair in her eyes.

You listen to her talk. She has been trying to get you pregnant for a while, using a spell on herself and taking you with her polymorphed cock, but she hasn't been successful. Something about the magic hasn't allowed it. That hasn't stopped her from trying though. Over and over again. Day in and day out, you have been filled with her seed, forced to carry it inside you, feel it drip down your inner thighs... a constant reminder who you belong to.

You know what it means to resist her, to disobey her, and afterwards, she will just take you anyway. So you force yourself to move and slowly walk from the corner towards the bed and climb on it. You're now sitting on it with your back against the wall. The familiar pit of dread settles in the bottom of your stomach but turns into heat as you see she has already almost completely undressed.

Shadowheart smiles, but it's unsettling. Unnerving. She's slowly stepping toward you as she drops the belt to the floor. Then she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small vial of purple fluid.

"This, love... will ensure that your body accepts my seed. This will promise you freedom from this room... and admittance into my bedchamber. Where I can keep a close eye on the two of you..." She purrs, now crawling onto the bed. She pulls the stopper on the vial, and slowly hands it to you.

Her smile sends shivers of fear down your spine as she crawls closer to you. You take a look at the vial she's handing to you and then take a look back into her eyes. What you see in them makes you tremble in fear. The fear mixes with arousal as it usually does for you. She has that effect on you. You know there probably is no way out of this, one way or the other she is going to force you to carry her child. You take the vial into your shaking hand.

She watches your every move. A frigid, stern stare in her eyes, devoid of any playfulness or smiles like before. Her hand slowly touches yours at your wrist. Firmly, albeit with a gentleness, pushing the vial closer to your lips.

You're so scared that you take the vial to your lips and almost drink it, but you stop at the last minute. Images of yourself, heavy with her child, flashes into your mind and you panic. That can't happen. She already has you imprisoned. What hope will you have left if she actually makes you carry her child as well?

You contemplate throwing the vial to the far wall, thinking what the consequences of such action would be. But you're clearly taking too much time for the Dark Justiciar's liking, the grip on your hand tightens and her other hand takes hold of your hair and bends your head back, earning a gasp from you at the sudden tug.

"If you think this is something you can decide for yourself, think again." Shadowheart says, her tone of voice stern, leaving no room for negotiation as she forces the liquid down your throat. Your only choice is to swallow it all or choke on it, so you swallow it like the good girl she has been training you to be.

"That's more like it..." Her voice is low, eager, as she watches the vial emptying into your stomach.

You're not allowed to wear any clothes in the dungeon, so her hand is free to roam over your breast, pinching your nipple before it travels down between your legs. Her fingers slide between your folds, gathering any moisture, the evidence of your body's betrayal, before she rubs roughly your clit, the sudden harsh stimulation making you whimper.

"Are you going to behave now, my slut?" Shadowheart asks, holding your gaze, still bending your head back a bit, fingers entwined in your hair.

Something in you bends and breaks under her searing, intense gaze. "I will." You say submissively, embarrassed by how weak your voice sounds.

Shadowheart smiles and eases up her grip on your hair, the touch of her fingers gentler between your legs before she pulls her hand away entirely.

The smile turns into a grin and she strokes your head a moment. She purrs praises under her breath to you "good choice" and "my pretty little slut..." before reaching into her pocket again and pulling out another vial.

She pulls this one open with her teeth. Then locks her eyes with yours as she spits the stopper aside and slowly tips the contents into her mouth. Once she's finished, she takes yours and tosses both over her shoulder, indifferent to the sound of them shattering on the floor. "Just to be sure, love..." she murmurs, unfastening her trousers and tugging them off, a well-practiced motion you've seen more times than you'd like to admit.

The urge to move away from her is strong, but you force yourself to stay still, not daring to antagonize her further. You sit still against the wall, frozen in place again, looking at her now naked form and the hard-on between her legs, ready for you. No matter how many times this has happened, you still haven't got used to it. Your quickened heartbeat pounds in your ears, it's almost overwhelming.

She shushes you as she pulls your body down to lie flat on the bed, making you gasp, and slots between your legs. "This is it, you know... you'll take this, enjoy this, like a good girl does. Because that's what you are, aren't you? My good girl..." Shadowheart murmurs, cradling your cheek in her palm. The look in her piercing green eyes threatens to consume you.

When she calls you her good girl, it makes you twitch involuntarily, making you curse the parts of your body that are always so eager to yield to her touch. A flush settles on your cheeks. "I'm your good girl," you murmur softly, unable to stop yourself. Her gaze makes your willpower falter even more.

"That's right and I'm going to love your body like you're my precious, obedient lover... I wonder... when I fill you... plant my seed deep inside you..." Saying this, she spreads your legs wide apart, your knees bent. Guiding herself to line up with your dripping slit. "Will you feel it tonight? When our little flower sprouts inside you...?" Then slowly, almost too slow she feeds the tip of her throbbing cock into you.

Your mind goes back to the promise she might take you out of this cold, damp, bleak dungeon and into her bedchamber. Anything had to be better than this place, right? But you know what the prize for that is and images of yourself pregnant with her child flashes in your mind and you feel panic for a moment.

What does it all matter though? You already drank the vial, she's already pushing into you, it's already too late, anyway. You know how hung she is, so you try to concentrate on remaining calm and prepare yourself instead.

She sighs softly once she's halfway inside you. You bite your lips as she fills you up, it's so overwhelming this time. The prospect of successfully getting you pregnant has heightened her intensity even more than before. Her gaze fixated on yours, savoring this moment with you. Her gaze makes you shiver. It's evident that she's savoring every moment, trying to etch it into her memory. You're sure won't forget this either.

Once she bottoms out, her eyes flutter closed, and she holds herself there. Fully sheathed inside you. Intertwined with you. You're so full of her and just like every time, it's starting to be hard to think about anything else than her and her being inside you. So deep in your core.

She runs her fingertips along your hips; the touch leaving a lingering warmth. You can almost see her fantasies playing in her eyes when they open and drift to your hips. That soon they will bear the weight of carrying her child. Then her hands smooth over your stomach... and then she begins to move. Slow at first. Gentle. You can't recall her ever being this gentle with you. There's this odd tenderness in her you haven't seen before.

"You will look... so pretty for me... for us both..." you can hear it in her words, the 'us' she's referring to isn't just you and her. Her words make you blush again. You remain completely still, your vulnerable core laid bare for her gentle exploration as you let her indulge in her desires.

Shadowheart continues this tender, sweet rhythm with you. Shushing and cooing you softly as she rocks her hips back and forth. She sighs softly as her pace increases somewhat, providing more friction to your tight channel. With the same care and gentleness as a lover.

It's as if she's caressing your senses, making love to you. Each touch sends shivers down your spine, igniting a fire that burns deep within. This euphoria slowly spreads, like warm honey seeping through your veins, leaving you in a state of blissful surrender.

Submitting to her is always easier. The soft glow of her smile beckons you as she gently strokes your hair. She can be very nice when you are obedient, her voice like a soothing melody that lulls you into a sense of comfort. You can't help but imagine the way she would care for you if you remain obedient and carry her baby. Would it be so bad? The way she caresses your stomach, her touch as gentle as a feather grazing your skin, evokes a strange warmth within you. It's a tenderness you haven't witnessed before, leaving you longing for the security and affection she offers.

She gazes deeply into your eyes, searching for any trace of doubt, delving into your innermost thoughts. A smile of pure satisfaction slowly curls her lips, radiating a sense of pride. It's as if she always knew you would eventually embrace the idea of being completely hers. The weight of surrendering your entire being to her possession hangs in the atmosphere, a palpable energy that envelops you, making your heart race and your skin tingle with anticipation.

It's impossible to escape her gaze and the smile she gives you. You see the need in her to own all of you and you are so close to just yielding to it. Into yielding to her completely. You don't know if it is a conscious or unconscious decision, but you lift your legs up and wrap them around her waist and keep them there.

She moans deeply as you do, eyes fluttering a moment at how wonderful it feels for you to give in to her. "What do you need, my good girl?" She manages between breaths, arousal thick in her voice, pumping herself inside you more purposefully. Not quite hard. But not as feathery and delicate as she was before.

"I... harder... please.." You say breathless, surprised by your own words.

Shadowheart chuckles slightly and breathlessly but obliges as she grips your hips and fucks herself into you. Not too hard, though, to your surprise. She watches you, assessing if she's hurting you. She wants you both to enjoy this, to look back on this lovemaking fondly, the one that will bless you with her child.

You moan as she settles into the slightly harder rhythm, it's just the right amount and it feels good to be so full of her, how her shaft drags through your channel, how your walls cling to it.... to be filled by her again and again by her.

You keep the eye contact steady and put your hands behind her neck, lightly, carefully pulling her closer. You can feel her grip on your hips tightening as her thrusts become less controlled and composed. The moment is drawing near, and she clearly has no serious intent of drawing it out.

Excitement twinkles in her eyes as the implication almost tangibly races in her mind. "So close, love... Oh so close, and you will be mine... body and soul... all mine..." she grunts, her nails digging into your skin.

The haze of the lovemaking, how she fills your every sense, makes you oblivious to the darker implication behind her words, to her intent on making you carry her spawn. It's almost like the Dark Justiciar isn't the only one excited by the prospect, the dark corners of the room seem to be as well as shadowy tendrils seem to reach for you, seeking to engulf you in their embrace as it gradually gets darker. You're oblivious to this as well, having given into her.

Shadowheart's thrusts slow down but maintain their force and depth. "You're going to... be so... beautiful." She manages between groans as she fucks herself rough and deep into you. "Swollen..." she says and with one hard thrust she buries herself to the hilt inside you, stretching you to the limit around her cock.

Then you feel her. A wave of her warmth floods deep inside you, more than it ever has. Perhaps you're imagining it but you can almost feel the difference this time. Sense its intent to nestle deep inside your fertile womb. "And mine..." Shadowheart hisses through her teeth as she bucks her hips slowly, intent to secure every drop of her seed deep within you.

Every word leaving her lips, every thrust of her hips, is bringing your orgasm closer. You come helplessly after she hisses "Mine" and spears you to the hilt, your channel clenching around her cock and milking every drop into your depths, into your womb.

And as she holds her eyes on you, you have no doubt that this time she's succeeded...

Your body will bear her child...

Your womb and her seed will be growing an army of devoted servants of darkness in the name of Shar.

Daughters of darkness.

Sired by Shar's chosen. Born in the darkness of Shar’s holy place. The gathering shadows slither around the darkened room, sharing her excitement.

As the haze of pleasure fades and your mind is clearer again, you look at her with your eyes wide open, the reality of what just happened and what will happen to you hitting you hard.

Shadowheart leans down and presses a sweet, loving kiss to your lips. Moaning into your mouth as her tongue slides in. Only pulling away from the kiss to adjust your hips together, lifting your legs and holding herself inside you. Ensuring her seed not only stays inside you longer, but seeps deeper inside you. "That's it, my breedable little slut... let it settle inside you awhile."

When you slowly come to your senses, you realize what she's doing: making sure her seed is taking root inside you. The reality of the situation makes you panic again and you start to instinctively struggle, trying to get your legs free and dislodge her from inside of you, but it's all in vain.

Shadowheart tsk's and shakes her head. Your struggling barely seems to faze her. Holding you still effortlessly with her muscular arms. "My love, now's not the time to be silly. We can both feel your womb eagerly seeking my seed. Your body is obediently preparing itself for my child..." She moves a hand to stroke your cheek.

"So no more games, love... If you like, you can play hard to get with me after our... daughter is born. Yes. A girl. We'll have a little girl..."she murmurs softly, smiling warmly at the thought. Whether intentional or not, she lifts your hips even higher after it crosses her mind. You think you can feel her come pooling inside you.

Her strength and words make you give in again and you lay exhausted and compliant under her. You're trying to even your breathing and calm down, knowing that annoying her isn't wise, especially after you had just gotten to her good side.

The shadows dance in eerie harmony, their inky tendrils reaching out to embrace your vulnerable presence. You remain unaware of their insidious infiltration, as they slither through every crevice of your being. Their whispers echo in your mind, amplifying the twisted notions that sway your thoughts, pushing you to the brink of surrender.

A darkness settles behind your eyes, dimming your inner light.

You put your hand carefully on hers as she strokes your cheek. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me," you say submissively, looking into her eyes, offering her apologetic smile, "I am yours, now and always. It will be an honor to carry your child. Our daughter." You say, lying there with her seed deep inside you, thoughts of escape leaving your mind.

You belong to her wholly.

The shadows reward you with pleasurable shivers across your skin at the thought, caressing you all over.

Shadowheart smiles and shushes you, thumbing your cheek. "Hush, my darling. Rest now. You and our little lady will need all the rest you can get..." she purrs softly as she gently sets your legs down and very slowly draws her hips back and her softened cock out of you.

Rather than lay down beside you, she finds her trousers and slides them on before wrapping you in a blanket and lifting you into her arms. Carrying you to the door and into your new life...

#baldur's gate 3 #shadowheart #bg3 #baldurs gate fanfiction #baldurs gate shadowheart #shadowheart fanfic #breeding k1nk #dark justiciar shadowheart

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lalachat · 1 year ago

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"And there you were..."

Author's note: Hi loves! I am going to apologize for this one because it is basically just filler because the next chapter is going to be a good one(in my personal opinion). I have been in a chaotic-evil kind of mood recently and I got something good cooked up! However, I am sad to announce that I will probably end this story soon, maybe 2-3 more chapters. Do not fret though! I fully plan on writing some one shots, maybe another series 👀 That meaning, I got some good ideas for my future projects ehehehe! ANYWHO, I hid a harry potter reference in here. I wonder if y'all can find it! Tbh I hide a lot of my favorite movie quotes in my chapters. So far no one has picked up on any😭 anywho, enjoy this one before shit literally hits the ceiling.

Summary: You and Lucien wake up after your eventful night to have an early morning snack before your breakfast with the rest of the night court. However, can you and Lucien hide your growing feelings for one another? And most importantly, does anyone know what you two did last night?

This is for all my Lucien girlies❤️

Warnings: profanity, potential grammatical errors, and LOTS of filler/banter

Word Count: ≈ 4,053

Chapter 9: Pretty Pink Bows

After a much-needed bath, you and Lucien decided that it would be best to get some rest. You both changed into your pajamas and crawled into your bed. Lucien was too tired to go back to his apartment, and with Elain’s uproar, he felt it was best to stay. You did not complain. Sleeping next to Lucien was always peaceful, like your soul knows his entirely. These were always your best nights of sleep with him next to you.

You awoke to the first appearance of light on the horizon shimmering through your window. Lucien was sprawled out next to you comfortably, hair slightly tangled. His chest falling rhythmically with every breath. Poor guy was probably spent from the energy he was channeling into you last night. You smile at the sight of him.

Without waking up the slumbering male, you slipped out of your bed and out your room. You walked on the balls of your feet through the noiseless halls, trying not to wake anyone else who is still asleep. You were headed to the kitchen to grab y'all some tea and snacks. After last night, your body was craving for something to fill your aching stomach. You're sure Lucien felt the same.

You finally reached the kitchen, the beautiful colors of dawn now starting to come to light. You grabbed a pot and filled it with water, knowing a teapot would be too loud. You placed it on the stove to heat up as you set aside two teacups. While you were waiting for the water to boil, you mindlessly went to the pantry to search for your favorite tea. You grabbed two teabags and put them into the cups. The water started to bubble; you decided you still had some time to scrounge for snacks. You cut up some fruit, cheese, and meat and placed them onto a plate. You smiled as you made a little smiley face out of the arranged foods. You walked back over to the water to see that it was boiling. You carefully poured it into each cup and set it aside to cool as you cleaned. Shortly after, you grabbed everything you prepared and headed back to your room.

“Good morning sleepy head,” you sang to the sleeping figure wrapped up in your sheets. Lucien mumbled something you couldn’t comprehend as he still lay there asleep. You rolled your eyes, “Jackass.”

A smile crept up onto your face as you sat your breakfast aside, “This is your last warning, Lu.” A moment of silence passes, and you shook your head, “So be it!”

You jump onto your bed like a child on solstice, the sudden motion startling Lucien. He jolted awake as you kept jumping up and down in a fit of giggles at his reaction, “Wakey wakey Lucy!”

“You are a jackass,” he mumbled as he shook his head and threw himself back onto his pillow. You laughed at his choice of vocabulary because you threw that same word at him earlier.

“Am I still a jackass if I said that I got up early to get us some tea with a complimentary charcuterie plate?”

“What a big word for how early it is,” he smiled at you as he ran his hand through his hair, fingers getting stuck in some tangles. He groans in frustration, you laughed.

“Your hair looks like a bush on fire,” you chuckle as you grabbed your hairbrush and gestured to his hair, “May I?” All Lucien could do was nod, still not completely awake yet. He leaned up allowing you to slot yourself behind him, his muscled back pressed against your chest.

“You’re not tender headed, are you?” You slowly started to brush the ends of his hair first, Lucien hummed at the feeling.

“Obviously not when you were the one tugging at it last night.” You could feel the smirk on his face without even having to look, you pulled the brush a little harder through a knot at the comment.

“Ouch!” He turned around to look at you over his shoulder. You gave him an innocent smile.

“Oops- sorry, the brush slipped,” you halfheartedly apologized as you continued brushing his hair. “You should let me braid it!”

Lucien laughed, “And what’s next? A huge pink bow?”

“Obviously-” you said as you brushed out the last section you were working on and moved on to start braiding his hair.

“Good gods you're going to get me made fun of,” he sighed as his body relaxed at the feeling of your fingers in his hair.

“Anyone who makes fun of you is just jealous of how good you’ll look,” your voice vibrating through Lucien’s back. You worked quietly as you braided his hair into Dutch braids and pinned the ends in a low bun, Lucien just sat there marveling your presence and how close you two were now. Your breath hitting his neck sent goosebumps across his entire body. His body was betraying him from the feeling of you pressed against him.

“Turn around please,” you asked him. He happily obliged as you both shuffled around to a comfortable spot facing one another. You scooted closer to him to pull out some hairs to frame his gorgeous face. Your brows furrowed in concentration as you bit your lip, scared if you pulled too much it will mess the braid up.

Lucien just watched you. His eyes roamed your face while you were distracted with his hair. Having you this close he was able to study every detail. You were astonishingly beautiful. Your captivating eyes that sparked whenever you smiled, your nose that was sprinkled in tiny sunspots, your beautiful rosy cheeks, and gods, your kissable lips that he could never get enough of. He couldn’t look away, not with the way you bit your bottom lip. All he could think about was what it would be like to kiss you again…

“All done,” you smiled as you looked at your work.

Lucien’s eyes glanced up to meet yours, “Thank you.”

You looked back at him, just now noticing how close your faces were. Your cheeks flushed as you let out a small breath, “you’re welcome.”

You did not dare move, not with the way Lucien eyes kept dipping down to your lips. There is something so intimate about the way he was looking at you, and you thought to yourself every kiss you two shared was heated and an act of lust. You and Lucien had never shared a legitimate kiss before. That thought alone sent nerves through your body. Could he actually have feelings for you? Because the way he is looking at you right now makes you feel like you're not just a hookup anymore, that you're something much more.

“Lucien-” you glanced at his lips as you sucked in a breath. Your nose was now brushing against his. One of you had leaned in. You didn’t know if it was you, him, or both but at this moment neither of you cared. You didn't care as his breath kissed your cheeks with warmth causing more of a blush. You two should not be doing this! Friends don’t kiss. This is so wrong, but gods did nothing ever feel so right. Just as your lips brushed against his, it was like Lucien snapped out of a trance at the touch. WHAT IN THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!

He nervously coughed, “I’m hungry, what about you?” He got off the bed and grabbed the tray you prepared; the tea was now room temperature.

“Oh yeah! I'm starving,” you shook your head trying to clear your mind of the moment he abruptly put an end to. Shit- are you disappointed? This cannot be happening, he’s just a friend! You’re mated to Azriel for gods sake!

“Tea got cold, but everything looks lovely y/n,” he politely thanked you as he grabbed each teacup to rewarm them. “The smiley face is a nice touch.”

“You’re welcome, I thought it was cute! Now, bon appétit,” you smiled. You both were hungrier than you thought. You both devoured the platter you had prepared in minutes as you sipped on tea. The once cute smiley face now nothing but crumbs.

“Such a shame we destroyed the smile though,” he laughed as he downed the rest of his tea.

“At least we made a happy plate right?” you said as you finished your own cup.

“Always the cleaver one in the mornings,” he smiled at you as he gathered his clothes off the floor to get dressed. You figured you would do the same as you pulled out a long skirt and a plain shirt from your dresser. You took a quick look in the mirror and ran your brush through your hair a couple of times before putting it up in a messy bun.

“Ready?” You glanced at him as he was looking at himself in the mirror.

“Hell yeah I am, I’m ready to show off this new dew! This looks really good y/n” he exclaimed as he kissed you atop the head.

“Can I please, please, please add a bow?” you stuck out your lip.

“Absolutely not,” he said as he opened the door for you.

“Are you sure? It would make it look even better,” you wiggled your brow at him as you walked past him through the door.

“Yes, I am sure. If Feyre caught me with that, she would never let me live it down.”

“That’s actually a fair statement,” you laughed as he shut your door.

Just as he turned around Lucien’s gaze went to your wrists, his mouth turning upwards into a wicked smile, “y/n?”

“What?” You looked at him confused as he tilted his head in emphasis to look where he was. You followed his gaze, and your eyes were met with faint red rings around both of your wrists. Tendrils of flame still remnant. “Oh. My. Mother. Above-” was all you could say as you traced your wrists gently. They were beautiful in a way you could not describe...

“Is it obvious?” You looked at him worriedly as you stuck them out for him to see. Pain struck his features like you were ashamed of what you two had done. However, you were only scared of Elain and Azriel noticing them.

“When you do that, yes,” he chuckled. “Here, I can glamour it for you,’ he grabbed your wrists, ‘Such a shame to get rid of my beautiful work.” His grip on your wrists made you blush as you slowly watched the marking go away.

“Thank you,” you breathed closely analyzing your wrists to make sure all proof of last night was officially gone. Lucien still had a pained look on his face but hiding it with wit.

“You should really get those tattooed, they look too good on you to hide it,” he mused as he started to walk to the lingering voices echoing through the halls.

“Maybe you should do that to me more often then,” you clapped back with a wink as you followed.

He shot you a playful smile as he grabbed your wrist gently, “You want more my little fireling?”

That’s a new nickname, you thought. The possessiveness of it shook your core. You tried to hide your liking for it, as you shot him a cheeky smile and walked into the room that your friends were gathered in. Everyone gathered around the room waiting for breakfast. The table set with plates, silverware, and glasses of water.

“Morningggggg,” Mor smirked, leaning against the wall with a cup of tea in her hands. Her eyes gleaming with a knowing look as she dramatically sipped her tea with a wink sent your way.

You look at her confused, “Good morning to you too Mor.”

“Ah good, y/n! We are about to eat breakfast, still waiting for a couple others to join us.” Feyre smiled at you. Her gaze met Lucien’s as he walked into the room shortly after. “Oh, good to see you’re up Lucien, come sit!”

Everyone soon began to make their way to their seats. Mor nudged her elbow in your hip as she whispered, “You are going to tell me everything!”

You hissed, “Yes, but can’t a girl eat first!”

You looked around the room to find Rhysand and Feyre seating themselves at the head of the table. Cassian pulling out the chair next to Rhysand as Nesta chose the one beside her mate. Mor sat beside Feyre, shooting a look to sit next to her so you two could gossip. You rolled your eyes as you sat down with her. Lucien felt awkward being the last one standing, not really having a specific spot at the table. It was either sit next to Nesta, his body trembled at that thought, or sit next to you. He shot you a smile as he gracefully pulled out the chair next to you.

“Where’s Amren?” you asked.

“Went home already, last night was more than enough socializing for her,” Rhysand said with an understanding.

“Gotcha,” you nodded as you sipped some water.

“So, how did everyone sleep?” Mor asked with a smile, obviously up to something, as everyone murmured “good.”

With you occupied with your water and not answering previously, Mor directly asked you this time.

“You sleep okay y/n?” She wiggled her brow slightly as you choked on your water from remembering what kept you up in the early morning hours. Everyone’s eyes looked at you with worry from your choking, but you gave them a thumbs up and a scratchy, “I'm okay!”

“Sorry, the water went down wrong. I slept okay,” you said through small coughs, your face flushed from your thoughts and from coughing. Lucien pats your back reassuringly.

“And what about you Lucien?” Mor asked. You glared at her as he kept patting your back.

“Just fine Mor,” he deadpanned. Not revealing a single thing about either of your nights. Mor hummed, unsatisfied with your answers.

“Where the hell is Az?! I am fucking hungry,” Cassian muttered in frustration. Lucien’s hand stilled at the name. You looked around and noticed the shadowsinger was not here.

“Would you just be patient for once in your life,” Nesta quipped.

“I am sure he will be here soon Cass, along with Elain.” Rhysand said, amused at that neither of them are here yet. You and Lucien shared a mutual glance of, “Oh fuck.”

You mouthed to him, “Do you think they are together?” He gave you a curt nod. His breathing becoming long inhales and exhales as he tried to calm the storm raging within him at the thought of them together again. You could sense his battle and grabbed his hand reassuringly.

“It will be okay,” you mouthed to him once again as the others were engrosed in a conversation about gods knows what. He pursed his lips into a thin line as he rubbed his temples.

“You okay Lucien?” Feyre asked. He looked up at her, and he could tell she knew what was wrong. She was the only other person besides you that knew him, truly knew him.

“Yes, sorry! My head just hurts from this new hairstyle. I'm not entirely used to it yet.” He smiled at her. She knew he lied to cover up what he was truly feeling from the others, so she went with it.

“I understand. I am sure all of us long haired people have experienced the feeling,” she grinned, “It looks good though!”

“Thank you,” you and Lucien said at the same time. You both glared at each other.

“What do you mean by ‘Thank you,’ I am the one who she complimented,” Lucien said.

“Yes, but I am the one who did it! You would not have gotten complimented if it weren’t for me,” you stuck your tongue out.

“You braided his hair?” Mor looked at you. Only then did you realize what you had just exposed. You had to divert! Lucien only looking at you playfully with what you were going to say about the situation now.

“Yes, I ran into Lucien earlier this morning when I snuck to the kitchen to make myself some tea. Neither of us could sleep with what’s going on, so we just stayed up together in the library until you all woke up,” you shrugged. Was that a good enough cover up? You prayed it was, as Lucien just nodded his head as he drank from his cup.

“Can you do that to my hair?” Cassian asked.

“Why?” You asked.

“Because I like it, and it will keep it out my face while I eat,” he said.

“Why not ask me?” Nesta said.

“Because I know you will say no,” Cassian shrugged his shoulders.

“Fair,” Nesta replied as you got out your chair and rounded the table to the other side.

“I wish I had long hair,” Rhys pouted.

“No, you don't,” Feyre said as she patted his shoulder as you stood behind Cassian's chair and started braiding. Everyone began talking about their mornings, chattering back and forth. Every now and then Cassian would move too much, and you would have to push him back in the chair.

“Sit still Cass or you’ll mess it up!” You rolled your eyes at the restless male.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as you continued with his hair.

Mor began talking about having the group do something together to bond after all that’s happened. Everyone at the table agreed except for Rhysand. You looked at him as you finished braiding one side of Cassian's head. It looked like he was deep in thought. He wasn’t talking to Feyre because her and Mor were bouncing group ideas off each other. Cassian, Nesta, and Lucien listened to their conversation, so he wasn’t relaying anything to them either. What could he be thinking about, you wondered.

Suddenly, his gaze snapped to you. Those piercing violet eyes assessing you. You were just now braiding the other side of Cassian’s head.

“What? Does it look bad or something?” you asked.

Rhys shook his head, “No it looks fine, but I cannot help but sense something off about you y/n.” His eyes twinkled as they took a quick glance at your hands. You followed his gaze. He was looking at your hands! Did the glamour wear off?! You panicked, you looked at your wrists while braiding Cassian's hair and saw no swirls of flame. What the fuck is he on about then?

“I don’t know what you're talking about,” you finished the braid you were working on and began to put them together into a high bun. Those always looked best on Cassian.

“Oh really? Y/n, you must forget I am a high lord. I can sense ALL magic,” he put major emphasizes on the word all. Just then it hit you. Rhysand is a high lord. Your high lord, and the most powerful one at that. He can sense all magic… even glamours.

You shot him a look as you tried to keep your hands focused on Cassian’s bun. All Rhysand did was smile at you as you felt the familiar caress of claws on your mental shield. “You have a glamour on, don’t you?” he spoke to you in your head.

“Get out my head you prying prick,” you thought outside your walls.

“What are you hiding y/n?” he purred. His claws once again cascading down your shields.

“Cassian do you have a hair tie?” you asked as he mindlessly handed you one, you were now securing his hair.

“I am serious Rhys, get out of my head,” you thought back, but he kept his presence in your head as he crossed his arms at the table. If you kept yourself occupied with Cassian’s hair and maybe he will go away.

“I am not going until you tell me why you are glamoured. What are you hiding y/n?” His voice felt foreign in your mind, but he was still respectful. The power and information he has on you right now was overwhelming. You could feel your shields slipping at it. You tried to re-ground yourself with the feeling of Cassian’s hair, but you ended up giving into Rhysand. He already knows everything. You could trust him. The people you were hiding from aren’t even here. You let your shield down to show him the image of your wrists. You could see his eyes lighten in surprise as his cheeks grew a shade darker.

“I told you not to pry,” you thought inside your mind.

“He can do that?” he thought back to you in shock.

“Yes,” you thought back.

You bit your lip slightly as you started to reminisce about it, completely forgetting your shields were still down. Rhysand seeing everything before you could stop it. You quickly finished securing Cassian’s hair before you clapped him on the shoulder with an “All done!”

“WOAH!” Rhysand shouted out loud at the images of you and Lucien flashing through your mind, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. You slammed your shields backup in an instant. Rhysand’s face now completely pink.

“What?” Cassin asked confused as Rhysand coughed.

Please come up with something good Rhys... you thought.

“Nothing! Your hair just looks really good like that brother,” Rhysand mused.

“Awe Rhysie Poo- am I so handsome with this hair that it made you blush?” Cassian got up to smother Rhys in a hug.

“Yes, it’d be even better with a bow!” Rhys laughed as he bopped Cassian’s newly braided bun.

“That’s what I think too, but Lucien said no!” You tried to remain calm and continue as normally as possible as you made your way back to your seat. Thank fuck for Rhysand coming up with a cleaver cover up story.

Lucien shrugged, “It would not go well with my outfit.” Everyone at the table laughed.

Rhysand couldn’t look at you or the male without blushing. He has seen too much, but gods it was true everyone undermined the autumn court male’s power in the bedroom.

“What’s got everyone in such a good mood?” Elain asked sweetly as she entered the room with Azriel at her side. Lucien imediently tensed at the sight of them together. You on the other hand were ready to strike at any given moment, scared she might attack you for sitting next to Lucien.

“Rhysand got all hot and bothered over my new hairstyle Y/n did for me,” Cassian boomed as Elain blushed uncomfortably at his words. Azriel laughed at his brothers, your heart skipping a beat at the sound. Damn thing always betraying you when he's around.

“Well I'll be dammed Rhys, you’re picking favorites now?” Azriel smirked as he pulled Elain’s chair out for her beside Nesta.

“Absolutely not! This-” his hands wave around Cassian’s hair, “just threw me off guard! I’m so used to his hair being all up in his face,” Rhysand said as he watched Azriel sit next to Elain.

“It is rather nice to see your face again Cass,” Feyre teased and he glared at her, “Now that everyone is here, let’s eat!”

At the snap of her fingers the entire table was filled with all sorts of breakfast foods. From fresh fruits to eggs and bacon, the table had it all.

“Thank fuck-” Cassian said as he started to pile food onto his plate, everyone following suit. Filling their plates with whatever they pleased.

“Good morning, Elain, how did you sleep?” Lucien asked her as he buttered a bagel, not really hungry after your snack earlier. Azriel smiled at the question, and your blood boiled. You knew that smirk all too well. Lucien had that same smirk when Mor asked about why you braided his hair. Something happened between them and you were dead set on finding out about it.

Elain’s sweet stature faltered for a moment before she recomposed herself and answered, “I slept good.”

“That’s good to hear,” Lucien said awkwardly not expecting the conversation to be that short.

“Good going dude,” you whispered to him.

“I’d like to see you try-” you kicked him under the table. “Ouch-”

“Shut your mouth before I do it for y-” he kicked you back, you glared at him as you rubbed your shin. “Ass-” before you could finish your name calling Mor interrupted you, Lucien only laughed.

“So, Feyre and I were discussing about having a group bonding day today. Everyone else agreed to it, what do you think Azriel?” Mor asked.

“Sounds fine,” he said blandly as he took a bite of eggs as Elain spoke beside him.

“I think that’s a great idea Mor!”

“Okay so it is settled! We will have a group bonding session today!” Mor said as she raised her glass of water and drank it.

"This outta be interesting," Rhysand said with a smile.

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highway-tuna · 4 days ago

Text

'777' (Chapter 3)

pairing(s): Jake Kiszka x Reader, Josh Kiszka x Reader

wc: 5k+

warnings: sexual allusions, swearing

Masterlist

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The tap of his calloused fingers against the back of your shoulder lulled you in and out of sleep throughout the afternoon. Even without a guitar in hand, it always seemed like he was making music in his head. Especially once the band started gaining traction even at just a local level, it was all he focused on. It left you two with less alone time than before, but the moments you did have together in isolation became a sense of reprieve. More so than your moments with the Kiszka twins had been before.

You softly groan, a quiet complaint towards his movements as you stirred in his arms, burying your face deeper into his chest. The rain pattering along his windowsill in time with his taps made for a soothing nap, but you’d never admit to that. “Sorry, Sunshine,” he mutters, ceasing the movement of his fingers and replacing them with a more gentle rubbing of his palms. Looking up, you can’t even see his eyes from where you’re at, practically buried into his neck. But he takes this movement as you finally awakening. You can tell by the way he gives your arms a squeeze. “Wakey wakey.” You feel a shiver down your spine as he gently whispers into your ear.

The moment startles you fully conscious, whether it’s simply his voice in your ear or the strange feeling of goosebumps along your skin and the slight churn of your stomach that causes your sudden act is anybody’s guess. “Jesus, Jake,” Your voice comes out a creaky grumble as you quickly sit up, swatting at his chest, “Don’t do that.” He grins at you and chuckles at your reaction.

“Do what?” Your lips press into a thin sarcastic smile while you wipe the sleep from your eyes. He knows what he did. He always knows what he does to you. Sometimes, he knows before you even do. “I didn’t do anything. Friends can’t wake each other up?”

“With gentle whispers to the ear? No, I don’t think they can.”

“If I didn’t wake you up, you would’ve slept ‘til dinner.” He sits straight up and stretches, adjusting from having to be your human pillow for the past hour or so. Your eyes fall to his peeking midriff and unfortunately, his follow as well. “I don’t think friends check each other out either, Sunshine.” You feel the heat rising to your cheeks as you avert your gaze, swinging your legs over the edge of his bed and standing up, but before you could really get away, his hand grasps yours. With a gentle tug, he pulls you back into bed, wrapping his arms around you.

“Jake!” You both erupt into laughter as he pins your hands above your head, smirking at you beneath him. “Come on! Stop it!” Weakly fighting back, you couldn’t deny how this dynamic made you feel. Around sophomore year, things between you and Jake became more…muddied. It was no secret that he was quite the skirt chaser in his days, but for the longest time, he never seemed interested in you beyond just being friends. But you started seeing him as more than your best friend and he seemed to catch wind of that, pushing the boundary more and more. Not that the two of you did anything at that point, but the flirting when it was just the two of you sometimes became too much to bear. You made sure to keep it tame in front of everyone else, especially Josh.

It was an unspoken rule between the two of you to keep that side of your relationship under wraps. Balancing that act in front of him became harder and harder as the years went on, but it always seemed like he never caught on. Once graduation rolled around though, the dynamic between you and Jake superseded harmless flirting.

You watch as the smirk across his face falters slightly, his eyes falling to your lips before bouncing back to your eyes. “What?” You question him with an air of feigned innocence, not truly being unaware of his thoughts. It would be denial to ignore your eyes mimicking his motions, taking in the view of his softly parted pink lips. It would be denial to ignore the passing thoughts and jarring dreams you’ve had these past few years, just imaging his mouth on yours. It would be denial to ignore your tongue instinctually swiping along your lips, preparing for Jake’s next move.

His hand falls from your pinned wrists above your head, gently cupping the side of your face as his thumb runs along the contour of your lower lip. At an agonizing rate, he leans in, but stops just short of making a connection. “Can I…” Your head already nodding at his unfinished question made you practically reek of desperation, but you didn’t care at that moment. You were desperate. If it wasn’t obvious from your quick answer, it would definitely be clear from your thighs tightly pressed together; the soft ache between your legs being the cause.

Your eyes flutter shut, feeling him move closer and closer until… the rapid thudding of someone coming up the stairs causes your eyes to quickly shoot open, seeing Jake with the same reaction. He rushes to remove himself from atop your body and at record speed, ends up at the edge of the bed with guitar in hand. It takes you a moment to even catch your breath, sitting up on your elbows as the door swings open.

“Jake! Did you take my…” Josh barges in, loud and frantic, but his tone falls once he sees you sprawled on Jake’s bed; Jake playing it cool as he plucks at his guitar without even looking at his brother. The sight of you on his bed wasn’t an uncommon one, but you barely had any time to cool down from your almost kiss that you’d bet money that there was some expression across your face that would’ve given it away. Surprisingly, Josh doesn’t say anything. His brows furrow slightly, but his scatterbrained search for whatever he was looking for overrode any air of confusion he might have had. Not even bothering to finish his words, he begins rifling through the dresser.

With Josh distracted, Jake looks over at you and gives you a small smirk, rolling his eyes at his brother’s antics. “Did I take your what?” He asks while putting his guitar down and heading over to the dresser, trying to speed up this process.

“My necklace and my… jacket? From the thrift store last week?” Josh groans before pointing at you. “The jacket (Y/N) picked out.”

“Do you really need it now?”

“Doesn’t matter, ass. I want it now and it’s mine.” Even though Josh effectively and unknowingly cockblocked you, you can’t help but chuckle at him antagonizing his twin, giving you a slight grin while Jake rummages through his belongings. “I actually do need it now. I’m filming. I need to borrow (Y/N) too.”

This causes both you and Jake to perk up at the same time. “What? Why me?” You ask in genuine curiosity, but mostly out of a slight reluctance. The desire to stick around with Jake in the hopes that you could continue what was happening before is very strong. It’s seemingly a shared desire because Jake also chimes in, pausing his search for Josh’s belongings and crossing his arms firmly.

“Yeah, why her?” He stares deadpan at his twin.

Josh moves to a pile of clothes on the floor, plucking out the jacket he desperately needed before moving over to you and extending his hand. “I need my co-director and makeup artist. It’s not like you needed her for anything.” The light scoff and adjustment of his pants don’t go unnoticed by you, a very fleeting glance downwards interrupted by the reminder of Josh’s presence in front of you. “Right, Sunny?” You look up at him, a pleading smile plastered across his face.

Josh has always had the very special ability of making it impossible to say no to him. Whether it was a look in his eyes or the way he grinned or how he would sweet talk you, he would always get a yes out of you. You give Jake a very apologetic stare as your hand finds its way into Josh’s. “We’ll be done before dinner, right?” You question Josh as he already begins guiding you towards the door.

“Of course we will, when are we not?” He faces you with a cocked brow and a cheesy grin.

Jake gives the two of you one last frustrated glance before you make it out of the room. “We’re always late, Josh.”

“Time flies, my dear. Time flies.”

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You watch as Jake hesitantly reaches out to you, extending his hand forward as his eyes race over every detail of you. “(Y/N)... where… how’d you… what are you doing here?” His voice wavering, whatever emotions he’s feeling threaten to break free out of him. It’s a mixed bag when it comes to what you think he could possibly be feeling. Anger? Sadness? Happiness? Fear?

Taking his hand in yours, you give him an almost too formal handshake, unknowing his intentions and feelings. Whereas with Josh, even with Danny and Sam, you immediately felt a sense of warmth and recognition whether you could care to admit it just yet, but with Jake… things were tense. “Uh… Sam. Sammy found me at work and practically dragged me here,” you nervously chuckle. “Wouldn’t let me leave without saying hi.”

Jake looks down at your hand in his, a sense of disbelief still plaguing his face. The handshake awkwardly lingers a beat too long before Josh interrupts, clearly trying to lighten the mood. “You’re telling me you didn’t want to say hi to us? I’m offended, Sunny. Really. Hurt, devastated even,” his overdramatic tone causes a soft laugh between the two of you, but Jake doesn’t budge. In a subtle attempt to correct his twin’s behavior, Josh nudges his brother.

Instead of relieving the tension, Jake only intensifies. He crosses his arms and glares at you, his tone becoming increasingly confrontational. “Why didn’t you want to see us?”

Your mouth goes dry at the sudden tonal shift. It’s at this point where you feel like this is all going downhill. “I didn’t… it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t that simple,” you quietly respond, a pang of guilt hitting you.

“You had years to call or text or… something, anything. And you didn’t. After everything-”

Your guilt quickly morphs, your defensiveness getting the best of you. “You left. You left, Jake. You made me feel like shit for staying and you left. Don’t sit here and act like it’s all on me.” The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Had Josh not been here, it probably would’ve either been an all out screaming match or no conversation at all would’ve happened.

“I was trying to get you out of here. There was nothing for you-”

“Jake,” Josh firmly interjects, trying to take a hold of the escalating situation, but it’s barely any use.

“There was nothing for you here, (Y/N). I was trying to help-”

“Help me? Or help yourself? Because you would’ve had me abandon the one person who actually needed my help. Is that what you wanted, huh?” Feeling the warm pool beneath your eyes, you quickly rub them away, not wanting to seem weak. Especially not in front of Jake. A silence falls between the three of you, Josh’s gaze bouncing between you and his twin with a look bordering bewilderment at how quickly things had gotten out of hand. This is why you didn’t want to see him. It all came flooding back as to why you were avoiding him, avoiding all of them.

You notice Jake swallow thickly, still standing tall on his own pride. “She would’ve-”

“Don’t talk about her. Do not say a fucking word.” Josh reaches out and tries to comfortingly run his hand along your shoulder. You practically wince at the generosity, but your pain takes no moment of hesitation to lean into it. With Jake staring at the two of you, his blank face makes it completely impossible to tell what was going through his mind. He was always so good at that.

Josh waves his hand dismissively in his brother’s direction. “You were saying you were heading out, right, Jake?” A firm discussion of complete silence was had between them, their ‘twin telepathy’ as everyone called it. There’s a bit of a stand off before Jake huffs and heads back into the lounge, leaving without a goodbye once again. Once the cause of distress in your mind has finally left, Josh envelopes you in another hug. “Sunny, I’m… I’m so sorry about him. I didn’t think he would-”

Your face buried into his chest, your words come out muffled, “You don’t have to apologize. I… I know how he is. I mean, I knew…” His fingers gently comb through your hair, a soothing motion that only causes you to crumble under his touch even more. Quiet sobs fall from your lips and Josh just takes it all in, letting you feel what you need to feel. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you finally pull away. He takes a moment to search your face, tucking stray hairs behind your ears, and wiping stray tears.

“Please don’t let this be the end of our reunion, Sunny,” he softly speaks, weakly smiling at you. “I’ll give you all the time and space you need, but I want to… I need to see you again. In better circumstances. In a better light too.” He jokingly gestures at the dim outdoor lighting, casting harsh shadows on the both of you. It gets a barely there chuckle out of you as you wipe your eyes. Pulling out his phone, he goes into his contacts and hands it over to you. “Might be a little outdated, but I assume you’ve changed your number?”

You look down at the screen to see- yes, a very outdated number and contact photo of you in his phone. It’s a sweet surprise that he even kept your contact. Past your sniffles, you stare at the picture and chuckle. You remember it very vividly. It’s even outdated from the last time you saw him. “Prom?”

“I didn’t have any new pictures of you, Sunny. Obviously,” he grins, watching as you put in your new number into his phone. “You’re also just… all smiles there. It was a good time.”

“It was a good time after you… we…”

“The kiss? Yeah, I could never forget it.” His words come out coated with a dramatic nostalgia, clearly teasing you with that sweet smile of his.

“Oh, shut up. I’m the one who could never forget it, even if I tried.”

“And have you tried? Sunny, I’m wounded.” The two of you laugh while you shake your head in disagreement. Josh really never could fail to make you smile. It’s a talent of his. No wonder he always ended up in entertainment. “It wasn’t the best kiss by any means, but… I’m sure you’ve gotten better.”

You roll your eyes and scoff. “It was my first kiss, what did you expect?”

------------------------------------------------------

You didn’t want to go to prom. Everyone knew. Yet somehow, that’s still where you ended up that night. In one of your mother’s old dresses no less. It wasn’t terrible- a light blue, knee length dress that delicately sat off the shoulders. She insisted you went. It didn’t surprise you, seeing as she always did all she could to keep you out of the house. Growing up, it mostly felt like she was being overbearing or just… didn’t want you around, but as you got older, it was apparent that the real reason was your father.

The twins picked you up from your house to take pictures at their place. You would’ve gone with Jake or Josh to prom if they hadn’t had dates of their own. Jake obviously choosing to go with his new girlfriend at the time and Josh going with a friend who had just gotten to him first. With your initial plan falling through, you were just going to go alone, but Jake had a friend of a friend who needed a date so you unwillingly agreed. At least for pictures sake.

You attempted to get to know him, tried to make some sort of connection on the ride to the venue in hopes that this night wouldn’t be a complete failure, but the second you all arrived, he was pretty much gone the entire night. Once all the slow dances rolled around, you were pretty much fed up. Jake was being borderline unsavory with his girlfriend and Josh was just being the life of the party, hopping from table to table with all his friends. He occasionally checked on you throughout the night, but you were just over it.

Finding yourself outside the venue, sitting beneath a shady tree while the sun just about finishes setting, you curl up with your knees to your chest and listen to the very faint music emanating from inside. When all the music finally dies out, you’ll find the twins and they’ll just take you home. That was the thought process, the plan. But your thrilling night of toying with ants in the dirt is interrupted as you hear footsteps crunch until they’re right in front of you. Looking up, your eyes meet Josh’s. You give him your most casual and unassuming, “Hi.”

“I think you’re a little lost, Sunny. What’re you doing out here?” He asks, leaning against the tree. “Having a prom for… ants out here?” Squatting down, he glances at the little bugs you were poking at with a stick. His joke gets a small smile out of you, but not enough for him to feel any less concern. “You should come back in-”

“I’m fine, Josh. Don’t miss out on my behalf.” Your protests clearly make a decision in his mind; he promptly sits down on the dirt, fully beside you.

“You know I’m not missing anything when you’re out here, Sunny.” Gently taking the stick from your hand, he chucks it as far as he can. You huff and look back at him with a defeated gaze. “Talk to me.”

“You didn’t have to throw my stick. That’s rude, Joshua,” you softly chuckle. He mirrors your laugh, draping his arm around your shoulders.

“You know what is rude, (Y/N)? Leaving me all alone in there.”

“All alone? Bullshit. You were the… the belle of the ball in there,” you scoff and shake your head. “My own date didn’t want to dance with me, let alone talk to me. Jake has shitty friends.”

Josh shrugs, not entirely denying your comment. It is true. The Kiszkas were always popular and leagues more popular than you were, but Jake did occasionally dabble with the mean, popular kid crowd. It mostly fell onto who he was dating at the time. It was hard to not feel out of place on occasion when it came to being their friends. Especially when- not to toot your own horn, but you were the twins’ best friend. They put you above everyone else and whether it was all in your head or not, it felt like some people were rubbed the wrong way by that. Not exactly helping your already existing loner image.

Josh does come to the defense of his twin though. “Hey, Sean isn’t our friend specifically. Just… mutual friends.”

“He still sucks.”

“I told Jake you two wouldn’t get along, but-”

“It’s not about not getting along. He just didn’t talk to me at all. The second we got here, he was already off… flirting with other girls and doing whatever he wanted.”

He gives you a look of bewilderment before chuckling. It feels like he’s laughing at you, but before you protest, he chimes in. “Is that- Did you even want that? You wanted Sean to flirt with you?”

“No! No. That’s not it. I just… I don’t think any girl wants her date to completely abandon her to mess around with other people.” Your cheeks start to grow red, feeling flustered and even embarrassed that you feel this way. “And… and if he just wanted a girl to put out then, I… I mean-”

Josh scoffs and withdraws his arm from your shoulder. His hands find yours, a sort of grounding technique to pull your attention to him. “Sunny, you don’t mean that. You definitely don’t want anything from him, I can promise you that.”

You can’t help but pout, feeling the slight sting of tears threatening your eyes. These aren’t tears of sadness- well, not entirely. They’re mostly anger and rejection. “I just wanted to… to have my first kiss at least. I can’t believe I’m a senior and I still haven’t even kissed someone. It’s embarrassing.”

“You haven’t had your first kiss yet?”

You roll your eyes and bitterly chuckle, “You probably would’ve been the first to know if it had happened, Josh.”

“I mean, yeah, I knew you were a virgin, but-” His words turn into a wince of pain as you intentionally dig your nails into his hands. “Sorry, sorry!” A short silence falls between us before Josh stands from the ground, dusting the dirt off his pants. He extends his hand out to me.

“I’m not going-”

“You don’t have to go back inside. I’m not making you.” His toothy grin shows he has something up his sleeve. With a quick staring contest, you finally cave in and take his hand. “Great. So you haven’t had your first kiss, you’re a virgin, I’m assuming you also haven’t had a proper slow dance-”

“Are you just insulting me or is there a point?” Squeezing your hand in his, he pulls you towards him, causing you to stumble into his chest. “What are you doing?”

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), may I have the last slow dance of the night?” Wordlessly, you eye him up and down with confusion. The music inside can still be faintly heard, but it’s very obviously loud, bumping party music. “Just go with it, Sunny. For me.” After mentally debating, you slowly nod, allowing him to properly bring you closer. His hands carefully rest along your lower back while your arms instinctively find themselves draped over his shoulders. Guiding your first steps, he starts swaying to a song in his head, almost completely offbeat to the sounds coming from inside the building. You open your mouth to question him, but are completely cut off once he starts loudly humming ‘Unchained Melody.’

It’s cheesy, so incredibly cheesy that you end up smiling and giggling at his antics, but eventually, you’re humming along with him. By the song’s last lyric, he gives you a little twirl before bringing you back to your swaying position. “Did you still want to have your first kiss tonight?” he asks in a hushed tone. You can hear the nerves in his voice just as much as you can feel them in your chest.

“Josh, I don’t know…”

“You can say no. I just… wanted to do you a favor, that’s all.”

With flushed cheeks and eyes darting to look anywhere but his, you take a deep breath and slowly nod, finally staring back at him. “Okay. Just… I’m sorry if it’s bad.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. It’s gonna be terrible.” He laughs before planting his palm along the side of your face. His eyes bounce between meeting yours and admiring your lips. The dragging approach of his lips to yours is agonizing on top of every synonym for the feeling of anxiety rattling in your body. Despite everything moving in slow motion, his lips are suddenly on yours. Your completely stiff, tightly wound, closed lips. It’s shocking how quick that was, him almost immediately pulling away.

But purely from the expression he wears, you can tell that was… not at all the best kiss he’s ever had. Probably the worst. You can’t tell if you feel better or worse when he bursts into laughter. “Alright, so-”

You fully pull away from his grasp, burying your face in your hands. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! That was bad, wasn’t it? It was terrible!” He grabs your hands, pulling them from your red hot face.

“Sunny. Breathe, Sunny. It was fine. It was your first kiss. You’re fine. If you were going for a friendly peck on the lips, I’d say you nailed it perfectly.” You loudly groan as he gets out his critiques, feeling completely and utterly ashamed. The deepest hole on Earth is calling out to you so you can hide and never return. “Do you want to try again? Maybe a little more than just a peck? If you’re comfortable with that.”

“Do you? Isn’t this weird?”

He shakes his head very seriously as he takes your hands in his, trying to ease your shame. “Just friends helping friends, right? We don’t have to if you think it’s weird, Sunny.” You take another deep breath and slowly nod once more, letting your hands fall back to your side while he returns his hand to your face. His thumb gently strokes your cheek, only serving to make your heart race more. “Just relax, follow my lead, and open your mouth just a little. I promise I won’t stick my tongue in there.” “I’ll kick you if you do, Joshua.”

The same time altering feeling occurs as he deliberately leans in again with a light chuckle. When his lips meet yours this time, you do as he says. Relax, follow his lead, open your mouth a little. His hand along your face guides you into the kiss, feeling your lips interlock. You can’t deny the softness of his lips, the kindness in his touch, even the taste of him. Your own hands loosely grab at his shirt, unintentionally pulling him closer. What truly felt like an hour couldn’t have been more than a minute. He pulls away and for a split second, you’re in a haze that you quickly shake off or else he’ll never let you live it down. You feel breathless, but looking at him, he’s got almost no tell, no reaction on his face.

“Was that… better?” He laughs and nods.

“The guy who gets to actually stick his tongue in your mouth is one lucky guy.” You chuckle at his egregious compliment, shoving him away. Your face might be beet red at the moment, but surprisingly to you, Josh’s cheeks match ever so slightly. Along with your shade of lipstick as well.

“Do you have your phone on you?” He slowly nods and tilts his head as he looks at you with furrowed brows. You open your hand, gesturing for him to hand it to you. “It’s important.” He’s aware by the devious grin on your face that it’s not, but he still gives it to you. Before he could react, you pull him to your side and open the camera on his phone, snapping a picture of the two of you together. “You’ve got my lipstick on you.”

He rolls his eyes and laughs. “I wear it as a badge of honor, Sunny.”

------------------------------------------------------

On the Uber ride home, ordered by Josh himself, you can’t hide the slight smile across your face as you reminisce on old memories. The thought that he kept your number along with that old picture this entire time does make you feel warm inside. Things were awkward, things were tense, but it’s never been with him. Jake, on the other hand…

The audacity to have only just reconnected to start arguing first things first. He’s so… frustrating. It is unfortunate how things ended between the two of you. Do you wish it ended differently? Yes. Do you believe there were some things that you could’ve done differently? Of course. Does any of that give Jake the right to come at you with such aggression? Not at all. He’s always been very passionate when it comes to his anger. Josh gets bitchy and vocal whereas Jake gets ice cold with a sharp tongue. He won’t say as much as Josh, but his words cut deeper.

After the decently long Uber ride, you step foot in front of your house. Seeing the twins again makes coming back here feel so much heavier. Just the sight of this shell of a “home” fills you with disdain. Unlocking the door, you kick off your shoes and toss yourself onto the couch. It creaks and gives under your weight, sighing just as you do. The weight of your eyelids fills you with the urge to pass out right here, right now. With your phone sitting on your chest, you feel it buzz, rousing you just enough to check the notification.

jaketkiszka liked your post

Staring at the notification with a bitter taste on your tongue, you even acknowledge the time. It’s almost 3:30am. What is he doing awake, let alone on your Instagram profile? Sitting by yourself with the soft glow of your phone cast over your face, you open the notification and check what post was it exactly. There was nothing recent on your page. You weren’t a big fan of social media past high school.

You feel stupid for the tightness in your chest as you get to exactly which post he liked. It was one of the first pictures on your profile- an obvious show that he was digging through here. “Asshole,” you softly mutter to yourself as you just stare at the picture. One of only you and Jake, although you remember it being a Kiszka family party of sorts. You’re sitting on his lap, pulling the side of his face against yours. Big, beaming smiles from you both. You must’ve just started having feelings for him at this point, the summer before sophomore year. It seems obvious looking back at it. It’s a surprise no one caught on. Another notification appears at the top of your screen, the sight of it making you scoff.

jaketkiszka started following you

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