#that took about a week bc i gave up halfway

[your-average-toast-enjoyer]

FROGGO TREE

[they-didnt-last]

anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

🤍

sooo here is my request! thank you!

Reader is bucky's ex fiancé (40's) and she is like a supersoldier too (she froze with steve and now she is an avenger)

but bucky does not remember her, so she has to deal with watching him dating some agents while she tries to make him remember that part of their life together (maybe with some letters and pics of them)

some angst - hurt / comfort with happy ending! 😭🤍

just bc i love this blog i would like to be "🕷️ anon" 😂

Remember Me » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Ex Fiancée/Avenger!Bucky Barnes x Ex Fiancée/Avenger!Female Reader

Summary: You and Bucky used to be engaged in the 1940s, but he doesn’t remember you and you have to deal with him going on dates with other agents so you do everything you can to get him to remember you.

Warnings: mix of Angst and Fluff, language, crying, flashbacks, kissing, pet names

A/N: Thank you to the lovely anonymous person who requested this🩵 also you can be my 🕷️ anon🥰

A/N #2: Italic text is flashbacks. I imagined this as Bucky’s post Winter Soldier phase and the reader is a Super Soldier in this.

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creators. I found it on Pinterest.

You stood in the doorway of the conference room, patiently waiting for Bucky to stop flirting with an agent so you can get him to sign paperwork from a previous mission. You couldn’t help but feel jealous. You and Bucky were engaged in the 1940s, but it didn’t last long. After a few minutes, Bucky finally noticed you standing in the doorway.

“I’ll see you tonight, doll.” Bucky says to the agent and kissed her cheek.

Hearing Bucky call her doll felt like someone ripped your heart out of chest and crushed it in their bare hands. That’s what he used to call you.

“Can I help you, Agent?” He asks you.

“I need you to sign these papers from your mission last week.” You tell him, handing him the file.

“I’ll get these to you later.” He says.

You nodded and walked out of the conference room. You were about halfway down the hall when you had to lean against the wall and take a moment to yourself. Your back slid down the wall and you sat down on the floor. Your mind began to wander.

“You know I love you, right, doll?” Bucky asks.

“Of course I know that, Bucky.” You say with a smile.

Bucky intertwined his fingers with yours and kissed your lips sweetly.

“Are you ok?” Steve asks, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Yes.” You lied.

You stood up from the floor and walked past Steve. Your walk was cut short when Steve gently grabbed your arm.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” He pleads softly.

“You already know what’s wrong.” You said. “I have to live with the fact that my ex fiancée doesn’t remember me at all and I have to deal with him dating other agents.” You say.

“Give him time, Y/N. He’ll remember you.” He says softly.

You gave him a soft smile before walking away.

Later that same day, you were in the gym, punching the punching bag as hard as you could. You were trying to get the thought of Bucky out on a date with that agent. You punched the punching bag one last time before leaving the gym.

You got on the elevator to go to your bedroom. As soon as you got off of the elevator, you seen Bucky kissing that agent. You stood there with a shattered heart. You quickly went to your room before he seen you.

You immediately caught a glimpse of the picture of you and Bucky from the day he proposed to you. You picked up the picture from your nightstand and looked at it, reminiscing that day.

“Where are you taking me, Bucky?” You asked, followed by a giggle.

“You’ll find out in a minute, doll.” Bucky says.

Bucky told you he had a surprise for you and blindfolded you for it. Your walking came to a stop and Bucky let go of you.

“Take the blindfold off.” He says.

You took the blindfold off and gasped. Bucky took you to yours and his favorite tree. Your favorite flowers were surrounding the bottom of it and he carved “Will you marry me?” on the tree with a pocket knife.

“Bucky-” You turned around and gasped.

“What do you say doll?” Bucky was down on one knee with a small velvet box with a beautiful diamond ring in it. “Will you marry me?” He asks.

“Yes! Of course I’ll marry you!” You answered with happy tears streaming down your cheeks.

Bucky smiles widely and stood up. He slid the ring on your ring finger and kissed you passionately.

That memory slowly faded away. You let out a shaky breath and your eyes began to water. You took a deep breath before taking a shower and went to bed.

The next morning, as you were getting dressed you seen something shining on your dresser from the corner of your eye. It was Bucky’s Army dog tags. You picked them up and looked at them. A smile grew on your face when an idea popped into your head. You immediately went to the kitchen, already knowing Bucky was in there.

“Morning, Bucky!” You chirped.

“It’s Sergeant Barnes.” Bucky corrects you.

“What?” You asked, blinking a couple times.

“You called me Bucky. Only friends call me that. Agents call me Sergeant Barnes.” He says.

“Oh…” Your voice sounding sad. “I umm…” You found what you were trying to say. “I just wanted to show you something.” You finally say.

“What is it?” He asks.

You held out your hand, showing him his Army dog tags. Bucky snatched them from your hand, making you flinch a little.

“Why the hell do you have these?” He asks harshly.

“I uhh… Steve gave them to me in 1945 when you di- fell off the train.” You tell him. “He thought that I might want them cause you’re my ex fiancée.” You explained.

“I’m not your ex fiancée.” Bucky’s words cut you deep like a knife. “I don’t know who you think I am, but I sure as hell know that I’m not your ex fiancée.” He says before walking away.

You stood in the middle of kitchen with tears streaming down your face. You hoped that showing Bucky his Army dog tags would spark something in his memory of you, but you guessed wrong.

“Why would you give these to Agent Y/L/N after I fell off the train in 1945?” Bucky asks Steve when he walked in the conference room.

“She’s your ex fiancée. I assumed that’s what you wanted. I was just honoring your wishes.” Steve answered.

“She’s not my ex fiancée! I’ve never been engaged in my life!” Bucky raised his voice. “You’re the second person to say that to me today!” He says.

Bucky walked out of the conference room before Steve could say anything else. He stood up from his seat and went to find you. He found you crying at the kitchen table. He sat down next to you and immediately started comforting you.

“I’m fine, Steve.” You lied, your voice cracking.

“No you’re not.” Steve said. “You have every right to be upset.” He says softly.

You turned towards Steve and laid your head on his shoulder, letting your tears free fall. Steve being the good friend he is, comforted you in the only way he knows.

“He basically said that I’m not his friend and I can’t call him Bucky.” You cried against his shoulder. “It’s like I never existed to him.” You say.

“You’re more than his friend.” He says softly.

“I know that, but he doesn’t.” You say, followed by a sniffle.

Later that day, you kept trying to come with ways to get Bucky to remember you. So far you couldn’t come up with anything. You were sitting in the conference room, filling out paperwork when you got lost in your memories of you and Bucky.

“Bucky!” You squealed as Bucky picked you up from behind and spun you around, making burst into a fit of giggles.

Bucky finally put you down on your feet and turned you around so you were facing him. He cupped your cheeks and kissed you passionately.

The memory was interrupted when Bucky dropped a file on the table in front of you. You looked at the file and then looked at Bucky.

“Steve said to sign these and to get them to him by the end of the day.” Bucky says blandly.

“Will do, Sergeant.” You say.

You watched Bucky walk out of the conference room. You stared at the unopened file for a moment before leaving the room without finishing your paperwork. You went straight to your bedroom to get something. You wanted to try to get Bucky to remember you again.

You went in your closet, going to the back of it. You opened a plastic storage container where you kept all of the letters Bucky wrote you while he was in the Army. You picked them up and immediately went to find Bucky. You found him in the lounge room kissing another agent.

“Sergeant?” Bucky acted like he didn’t hear you. “Sergeant Barnes?” You say louder.

Bucky sighed and rolled his eyes before looking at you. The agent he was kissing walked past you, giving you a small smile.

“Is there something I can do for you, Agent?” Bucky asks.

“I wanted to read these papers.” You say.

You hand him the old letters. Bucky took the letters from your hands and read them, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion when he seen his name signed at the bottom of each letter.

“What are these and why is my name on all of these?” He asks.

“Those are the letters you sent me in the 1940s when you were in the Army.” You tell him.

Bucky continued to read the letters. A hopeful smile grew on your face, but didn’t last long. He stood up and shoved the letters in your hands.

“That’s not me.” He says.

“But-” You got interrupted.

“But nothing. We were never engaged. Stop trying to get me to remember things that never happened.” He says.

You nodded as your eyes began to water. You went back to your room and put the letters back. You were about to close the container when you saw a stuffed puppy Bucky won you at Coney Island on yours and his first date. You took it out of the container and sat on your bed, holding it close to you as the memory of that day appeared in your mind.

You stood next to Bucky and watched him knock down all the bottles with a small ball. You smiled and cheered him on.

“What prize would you like, doll?” Bucky asks you.

You looked at the variety of stuffed animals displayed in front of you. You smiled when you seen a stuffed puppy with a red bow on it.

“That one.” You say, pointing at it.

The worker handed it to you. You took it from him and held it close to you.

“Thank you, Bucky.” You say, smiling up at him.

“Anything for my best girl.” He says, kissing you sweetly.

You sadly sighed and laid down with the stuffed puppy in your arms. You didn’t even know you fell asleep, because you woke up to the sound of someone knocking on your bedroom door. You got out of bed and opened the door to see Bucky.

“Can I help you, Sergeant Barnes?” You asked.

“Can I come in?” Bucky asks.

You nodded and stepped aside, allowing him to come in your room. You closed the door behind you and waited for him to say something.

“I just wanted to apologize for the way I’ve been talking to you the past couple days.” He apologizes. “I just don’t understand why you keep saying we were engaged years ago when-” That’s when Bucky seen the picture of you and him on your nightstand. “This is me.” He says, picking up the picture to look at it.

“It’s me and you in 1941.” You tell him. “I have more pictures if you want to see them.” You say.

Bucky nodded. You went in the closet to get the pictures. You opened a photo album, showing him a bunch of pictures of the two of you when you guys were together. He took the photo album from you to get a closer look at them. He looked through the pictures without saying a word. Another hopeful smile grew on your face, hoping that Bucky will remember who you are this time. The smile was short lived when Bucky shoved the photo album in your hands and left your bedroom without saying a word. A sad sigh left your lips and you put away the pictures. You were beginning to think that Bucky was never going to remember you, but you weren’t going to give up that hope.

Bucky was supposed to be getting ready for a date with another agent, but those pictures of you and him together were the only thing on his mind. He sat in the lounge room, trying his best to remember who you are, but nothing rang a bell. His thoughts were interrupted when the agent he’s supposed to go on a date with walked in the room.

“Hi!” The agent chirps. “Are you ready?” She asks.

“Yea, I just-” That’s when his memories of you flowed back in his mind like a broken dam. “Actually no. I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.” He says, leaving the room and leaving the agent confused.

Bucky searched around the whole compound for you, but couldn’t find you. He accidentally bumped into Steve without realizing it. Steve walked after him and grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

“Buck, calm down. What’s wrong?” Steve asks.

“Y/N. Where’s Y/N?” Bucky asks.

“She’s outside.” He tells him. “Why?” He asks.

Bucky didn’t answer Steve’s question. He just ran outside, looking for you. He didn’t have to go far. You were sitting on the bench trying to figure out another way to get Bucky to remember you. He walked over to you and grabbed your arm, pulling you up from the bench and kissed you passionately. You were caught by surprise, but kissed him back. He pulled away from your lips, leaving the two of you breathless.

“I remember.” Bucky tells you. “I remember you.” He says.

“You remember me?” You asked, making sure you heard him right.

“Yes.” He confirms. “Seeing those letters and pictures made me remember everything.” He smiles. “I’m sorry for the way things ended between us. I was just pissed. Please forgive me and give me another chance, doll.” He says apologetically.

Your eyes began to water with happy tears, a couple tears rolled down your cheeks. Hearing Bucky call you doll for the first time in years made you happy.

“Don’t cry, doll.” He wipes your tears away. “I’m sorry.” He apologizes again.

“I can’t help it.” You sniffled. “I just missed you.” You say.

You wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tightly, not wanting to let go. Bucky wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to him.

“How about we picked up where we left off.” Bucky suggests.

“You still want to marry me?” You asked, looking up at him.

“Of course I do.” He smiles widely. “You’re my best girl.” He says.

“I don’t have the engagement ring you gave me anymore. I accidentally lost it.” You say, feeling ashamed.

“It’s ok. I’ll buy you another one. In the meantime…” Bucky took his dog tags off and put them around your neck. “You can wear these as an engagement ring.” He says.

You looked down at his dog tags, smiling widely. You looked up at him and cupped his stubbly cheeks. You stood on your tippy toes and kissed him passionately. Bucky’s hands found their way to your waist and pulled you against his body.

“I love you so much, Bucky.” You say against his lips.

“I love you more, doll.” Bucky says softly.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[moralesmilesanhour]

My second time writing a request foe someone rlly nervous lol

Can you do a

reader x earth 42 miles

Where reader wants to buy things for themselves but miles keeps buying stuff for them like anything we look at or love next thing Yk he’s buying it?

I rlly hope you can understand this bc im not sure if it made sense 💀

-sincerely sorry miller

Oh don't be nervous I understand perfectly fine!! (Under the cut as usual)

"See you, Carol!" You wiped the sweat forming around your hairline as you untied your apron with haste. You had taken extra shifts at the diner this week for extra spending money, and it had you counting down the days until Friday.

Slinging your bag over your shoulder, the bell jingled as you pushed open the glass door with a grunt.

Right next door to the run-down diner was a small clothing shop, one of the few that managed to stay open. You had made it a habit to check the window for the mannequin that had your jeans on: A flaired, denim number that was optimal for weekend block parties.

"Come Friday, you're mine, baby." You say to yourself with a hand on the plexiglass display.

"I thought I was already yours," a familiar voice nearly made you jump out of your skin.

Miles' footsteps could almost never be heard, you swore he was a ninja in his spare time.

"Don't fuckin scare me like that!" You whined, smacking his shoulder as an amused grin spread across his lips.

He ignored your outburst and pointed towards the mannequin. "You want that?"

You gave him a warning look. "I'm gonna go shopping this weekend. When I get paid."

"You didn't answer the question."

"No comment," you said, spinning on your heel to walk away with Miles' gentle laughter following behind you.

When you don't stop, he jogs after you and traps you in a bear hug.

"Fuck off, Miles!" You laughed, fake struggling to escape.

"Alright, tell me what I did."

"Nothing!"

He let you go and opted to walk next to you, his long legs making it easy to keep up with you.

"Okay look, whatever you're mad at me for, I got a surprise waiting for you," Miles poked his head in front of you as you both walked, twin braids dangling over his shoulder. "Come over?"

You sighed, "Fine."

He gently took your hand and started tugging you along, presumably in the direction of his mom's apartment. "Thank you."

-

Miles' brow furrowed as he fumbled with his keys a bit before quietly unlocking the door. He turned to you and placed his index finger over his lips, and you nodded in understanding.

The familiar smell of yellow rice and scented candles engulfed the both of you when you entered the empty apartment. Rio was at work, and Uncle Aaron was likely napping in the living room, as it was only the late afternoon.

"So, where's the surprise?" You whispered.

"My room. Been up there for about a week."

You rushed up the stairs as quietly as your feet could carry you to catch up to your boyfriend, who was already halfway there and glancing down at you with an impish grin. You roll your eyes playfully. Typical.

"Lemme take that," Miles stuck his hand out for your work bag as he removed his sneakers.

Deeply inhaling the cool air of his room, you let him take it off your shoulders. You were sure that thing was starting to leave a mark from carrying it on the same side every day.

Miles sat on his bed for a moment to rummage through his black knapsack, and produced a small, pink plastic bag no bigger than the hand that held it. This confirmed one of your suspicions, and you gave him a tired smile as he stood to place it gently in your palm. He was a funny sight, hands clasped together in anticipation like a parent at Christmas.

Inside the bag was a little white box, which held a small necklace cushioned in the middle. You recognized the teardrop pendant from the mall. You had practically dragged Miles along, looking bored and scrolling through his phone the entire time. Or so you thought.

Now, he looked about ready to run a marathon from here to Manhattan as you removed the delicate necklace, the silver chain catching the little light that Miles allowed into his room in shiny strips.

"Thank you baby, I love it," you bit your bottom lip, "It's just that-"

"I could put it on you?"

You sighed, and held out the necklace. "Of course."

He damn near snatched the piece of jewelry from you to unclasp it, rushing to get behind you.

"Miles, if you break it-"

"I won't, relax!"

The cool metal settled on your skin as he gently draped it around your neck, and fastened the clasp.

"How does it look?"

Miles moved your braids back and planted a kiss on your cheek. "Pretty."

"I know you know more words than that, sir," you teased, "try again."

"Alright, breathtaking. Stunning. Effervescent."

"Now you're trying too hard."

"I'm about to take this necklace back," he muttered, earning a short outburst of laughter from you.

When the laughter subsided, you turned to face him. He let your braids slide across his hands before they fell back at your shoulders.

"Miles, I need you to do something for me."

Worry settled over the boy's soft features. "Such as...?"

"Don't buy me them jeans," you said, arms crossed but still smiling.

His brows shot up. "Why, you don't like 'em anymore?"

"I do," you draped your arms around his neck, "which is why I've been saving up to get them myself."

You watched Miles' eyes dart back and forth in thought before settling back on you. He was silent, imploring you to explain further.

"If I wanted everything gifted to me, I wouldn't have gotten a job."

Miles nods, and something seems to slot into place for him.

"So no more surprise gifts?" He says, pouting exaggeratedly.

"For at least another two weeks."

Miles winced, taking a nervous glance at his knapsack, "Damn."

Following his line of sight, you noticed the white plastic bag poking out from it.

Your jaw drops, and you give him another good smack on the shoulder.

"You bought it, didn't you?"

He smiles tightly. "Hypo...thetically?"

"Miles!"

-

A/N: idk why the hell that took me so long to write but it was fun! Happy reading!

[fadingdaggerr]

omfggg I just finished reading truth be told and it was so amazing and good and wonderful and wow wow wow you're so talented!!! can you please please consider writing a part 2 where r and Mel slowly start dating and Mel starts bringing them back around her family and introducing them to the Abbott crew and everyone is like 👀👀 and then Mel asks them to marry her and everyone is Mel's family is like FINALLY.

truth be lived

pairing: melissa schemmenti x gn!reader

summary: part two of truth be told, based on request above | 9.6k

includes: useless lesbian disease, fluff, more fluff bc the last part didn't have enough

warnings: they/them pronouns used for r, slight insecurity, kissing/making out

translation: peluche (italian - teddy bear)

italics are flashbacks

note: god this took me so long i’m sorry. my brain is an evil being. but N E ways how shocked are we that this is way fucking longer than part one? we aren’t? that’s what i thought. swear my dumbass can't make it easy on myself, but i just really wanted to grow the relationship and not just throw it out there yk?? excuses excuses, i know

It’s almost worse than when Barbara made her go a month without caffeine. Scratch that. It’s fifty times worse. It’s been a week that Melissa has gone without getting to see you. The week that will finally come to a close once the clock strikes seven and you show up at her door.

Saturdays, as of late, the two of you spent nearly three hours in a coffee shop, talking endlessly until your macchiatos went cold. Catching up on over a decade apart was slowly patching the dam that gave out all those years ago. A month of this gravitated to getting lunch together during the week, sitting together on a bench in the halfway point between your jobs. A couple more weeks, and you started going to the bar on Fridays to get your whiskey sours to celebrate the end of a hard week.

It was over stealing a cherry from your drink that Melissa got brave enough to ask you what had been on her mind since she saw you again. She knew it had to be her move, after all that had happened before.

“Next Friday night, you busy?” Melissa asks as she picks the stem off.

Your tongue ghosts over your lips, “not at all. And for you, I’m always free.”

“Would you wanna go out? With me?” An exhale rattles her chest, “Like a- like a date?”

Scanning her face, all you can see is sincerity in her question, and not a touch of restraint. The corners of your lips fly up, creases around your eyes deepening as you take in the sight of a nervous, but hopeful, Melissa. What you wouldn’t give to cradle those flushed, pink cheeks and kiss her right now.

“I would love to go on a date with you,” you answer, “name the time and place, and I’m there.”

A grin that’s equally dorky as yours appears on Melissa's face, her smile prevalent in her voice, “you worry about nothing. I’ll pick you up.”

Green eyes flick from the Tucci mug in front of her to the clock over the door. Only eleven hours and forty minutes, not that she’s counting. A sigh passes her lips at her own desperation. She went nearly a decade without you, half a week shouldn’t be this hard. By God, though, it is.

By lunch, it feels like another week passed her by. A sense of freedom fills Melissa, finally able to dig her phone out of the bottom drawer of her desk where she previously jailed it, too tempted to check for texts from you or send her own. For added proof of her restraint, she doesn’t allow herself to look at the screen until she sits at the table next to Barb.

The moment leather pants meet the hard plastic chair, her phone is ripped from her pocket, glasses perched on her nose. Glossy lips stretch into a smile immediately.

Peluche: any idea how to make 6.5 hours into 0?

Peluche: asking for a friend

Tell your ‘friend’ if I knew, I would have done it.

The little smirk on her face does not go unnoticed by the others in the room, though none are brave enough to ask about it. Jacob eyes his roommate from across the room. He’s seen the weight on her shoulders fly off within the last few weeks, the oven door hasn’t slammed once, she didn’t even make fun of his new kombucha. Early excuses to retire to her bedroom were becoming more frequent, and after a very brave snooping session, Jacob heard tiny bits of a phone call. Breathy giggles coming from his roommate made him step away, an act to save not only his room, but also his life.

The little grin that would appear on her face, before she scurried upstairs, was the same one that she wears at this very moment. It takes the willpower of a thousand Ava’s in a hookah bar to not jump up and down at the thought that Melissa may be seeing someone again, someone clearly better for her. With all of his self-control, held together with sheer desperation, he glances at Barbara. God’s number one soldier is smiling to herself, giving a little nod as she feels his gaze on her. Confirmation.

There’s a certain pep in her step the rest of the day. Not one eye roll as Janine breathlessly recounted her walk back from the deli, no pinching the bridge of her nose when a student asked a question she’d answered seven times already today, not even one occurrence of biting her tongue to save herself an elbow from Barbara. Blissfully happy Melissa is almost more terrifying than angry Melissa, her stiff walk replaced with a certain bounce that didn’t diminish.

“Alright, little eagles, it is go-time! Move it, move it! If you’re not out the door in ten seconds, you’re spending the night with the Abbott ghosts!” The kids all run past Melissa in a flock of giggles as she mentally counts each one, making sure everyone is accounted for before locking up her room. Giddiness grows in her chest, T-minus four hours, and she finds herself just as motivated as the children to run out the doors. Uncharacteristically, she tries to avoid Barbara on her way out, trying to get home as fast as humanly possible, knowing she would be in a frenzied overdrive once she starts getting ready to see you.

“Melissa!” She cringes as she hears her name at the end of the hall, stalling her in her place. Turning on her heel, the redhead faces the floor to hide the pained expression she wears, before looking back up. “Girl, where are you going in such a hurry? You’re moving like the devil is on your heels.”

“The devil couldn’t catch me if he tried,” Melissa snorts, “and I’m just tryna get home, I got plans tonight.”

Barbara raises a brow, “plans, you say? With whom?”

“No one,” she replies, but the sly grin and pink cheeks give her away.

The kindergarten teacher hums, “well, you have fun with no one. I expect a debrief Monday morning, maybe Saturday if you find some free time.” Pink cheeks go as red as Melissa’s hair at the insinuation, only managing a little huff and nod as a response before slinking off to her car.

—☽—

Melissa had given you only one direction for tonight, being that you should dress warm. As much as she knew the limited information would bother you, she hoped you trusted her enough to go along with it, and you did without question, but not without a half-second of hesitation. She could already picture the game of eenie-meenie you would likely play when you went to pick out a sweater or sweatshirt.

And she would be right. With an hour left before Melissa was to arrive, you stood half-naked in front of the closet on your fifth round of the game in trying to choose what to wear. Though every time you reject an option, you’d manage to find a potential reason to go with it, and the cycle keeps going. Deciding to let fate take its chance, you throw an arm over your eyes and blindly swing the other to randomly grab something to wear, at this point you don’t even care if it’s the matching Bluey sweatshirt you share with your nephew.

Fate is on your side it seems, the blind reach procuring a loose fitting, dark grey sweater, one you’d owned over half your life. One that Melissa had stolen many times before, that you had to steal back from her. Without a second thought, you put a longsleeve on before the sweater, just in case it finds a way to pass ownership.

Similarly to last week, you find yourself tense and jittery, waiting on the edge of your seat for the text that tells you that you’ll be able to see her again. Bosco nudges at your hands to be pet, clearly noticing your nerves, attempting to snuggle them away. He’s an expert, your shaky hands stilling as you scratch gently around his neck, dodging his wet nose before it meets your eye. Utterly in the zone petting the spaniel, your phone pinging pulls you from your trance.

pretty girl: Ready when you are.

i’ll be right down, just a sec

pretty girl: Take your time hon.

You, in fact, do not take your time, but what Melissa doesn’t see, she can’t possibly know. Panting at the bottom of the stairs, you take a spare few seconds to catch your breath before walking towards the only car in the lot with its lights on. Leaning against it was Melissa, picking at her nails with pursed lips, a tell-tale sign of her nerves. The closer you get, the more clearly you can see her. Her bright pink hoodie is clearer now, contrasting against a pair of leather pants that almost rip the air from your lungs.

The words leave your lips before you can really stop them, “you’re beautiful.”

Bright eyes look up from the pavement, wide with surprise from your seemingly sudden appearance in front of her. Heat spreads from down her face to her chest at the compliment, feeling every bit of it from head to toe, reveling in the warmth of your attention. It’s been years since you’ve looked at her like this, much less spoken.

“You-” she breathes, “you’re wow.” A second wave hits her when she sees what you’re wearing, that fucking sweater. She’d stolen it more times than she can count, straight from the closet or even directly off of your body, and now it was within arms reach again.

“Should’ve asked first, wearing your sweater and all,” you say lightheartedly, hoping that it will calm the nerves between you both.

“I guess I can let it slide this time,” Melissa chuckles, looking down bashfully. “You ready to get going?”

All you manage is a nod, far too excited to be in her presence to get anymore words out. Ever the gentlewoman, Melissa slides in front of you to open your door, closing it once you’ve slid into your seat. You knew better than to ask where you were going, the redhead already told you three times that she wasn’t spoiling anything for you.

The entirety of the twenty minute drive, it takes a god-like amount of effort to keep from staring at Melissa’s hand on the gear shift. Shimmering rings just beg to be fiddled with, hand asking to be held, but you refrain from crossing the line. The late time keeps the road relatively empty, though Philly streets are never silent, a cacophony of horns and yelling seems to linger regardless of the sun’s presence.

The car pulls into a lot of a building, only a small deli on the first level, the rest appears to be utterly vacant. Slowly, you turn to face Melissa, looking at her with pure confusion and a need for an answer.

She peeks over, sensing your gaze on her. Putting the car in park she simply says, “just trust me.”

“I do,” you reply without hesitation.

It takes very little persuading for you to begin following Melissa, in through the deli where she greeted the man at the front desk. From the little Italian you still remember from being around her family, you pick up something about a door and the two of you being allowed to do something. All the fishing for translation in your mind halts when a hand goes to the small of your back, guiding you to the back of the shop towards the stairs. At the top floor, Melissa reaches around you to put the code into the door, opening the roof access. Three thick blankets stacked on top of one another, with a cooler holding them down, greet you when you turn after watching the redhead prop the door open with a brick.

A sort of wonder takes over, just following her movements as she sits on the blankets, patting the spot next to her. Taking residence next to her, you scoot closer without even an attempt of subtlety. Glossy lips curve into a smile at your action, Melissa immediately trying to hide it by reaching into the orange cooler.

From the cooler, she pulls out a shaker and a bottle of whiskey, peeking at you with a mischievous look in her eye. Without breaking eye contact, she lifts out simple syrup and lemon juice. Simultaneously, both your noses scrunch, leaning into each other slightly as you snicker, feeling juvenile in the excitement of it all. 

Despite taking the time to garnish both your drinks with maraschinos, you pretend to not notice the sly reaches to pull them out of your drink. As far as you’re concerned, she can have whatever she wants if you get to hear that quiet, satisfied giggle.

Reaching into the cooler again, Melissa pulls out a small radio, checking her watch as she fiddles with the dials. After a few moments, you hear what sounds like the opening credits of a movie. Knocking her knee with your own to get your attention, she points to a screen a little ways away, a small drive-in theater that you didn’t even know was in the city. Squinting a little to see the title from the distance, you see that it’s Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, one of her father’s favorites. The thought alone makes you smile, he’d gotten you both into westerns once you were ‘old enough to appreciate them,’ meaning when you were well into your twenties.

It takes little time for the two of you to end up pressed against each other, everything packed away and forgotten off to the side. The two of you stay quiet as you listen to the movie, both mouthing lines you remember. Your eyes long to look at her, so you look down to grab your drink, shifting your eyes to look at Melissa.

Once you do, all you can do is watch her, her hands, her eyes, her lips, how content she is written on her face. It’s hard to take your eyes off her, it always has been, but right now it feels more difficult than ever. Yellow street lights barely illuminate her, everything you can see is because of the sheer closeness of your bodies. The warmth radiating off of her is grounding, the chill around you nonexistent.

Feeling your attention on her quickly has Melissa turning towards you. She’s met with a nose brushing against hers, both of your eyes widening at the newfound closeness. Neither of you even attempt to move away, completely engrossed in each other’s gaze; the closest you two had been in a decade, here and now.

“Can I-” She doesn’t get a chance to finish her sentence.

“Please.”

Lips rush to press against yours, moving quickly, but so carefully that you can’t help the whine that crawls out of your throat. It takes even less time for your hands to slide up to her face, holding her close as her own hands wander to hold your sides. Needy fingers weave into her hair, tugging lightly at soft copper. Melissa groans into your mouth, tongue swiping against your lips, being met with instant entry and a cross between a sigh and moan.

Any remaining gloss that wasn’t sticking to the plastic cups was spread across your lips, giving you a taste of cherry and lemon, whiskey shared between you. The feeling of her tongue is intoxicating, and all you can manage is to haul her closer, wanting her entirely against you. Catching on, Melissa pushes further into you, leaning you down onto the blankets. The change in position seems to bring a moment of pause to both of you, parting for a moment to catch your breaths.

Slowly, you open your eyes, meeting jade eyes with blown out pupils. Detangling your hands from her hair, you bring them back to hold her face. Stroking your thumb over her cheek, her eyes flutter shut as a deep breath leaves her chest. You gently pass over her cheekbone, following the slope to her lips, kiss-swollen and lovely. Brushing against her lips, you see her eyes open again, watching your attention on her skin. You can practically feel the nerves radiating off of her.

Tugging her down gently, you press a soft kiss to her lips, easy and slow. A silent reassurance that you weren’t going anywhere, that you want this just as much as she does.

The entire drive back to your building, Melissa keeps her hand in yours, enjoying the feeling of your grip tightening around hers every now and then. Uncharacteristically, she drives the speed limit through the streets, wanting to prolong her time with you as much as she can. Pulling into the lot, she lifts your hand to press a kiss to it before hopping out, rounding the car to open your door.

“What a charmer,” you joke, voice bubbly and light from pure adoration for the woman. Humming, Melissa’s fingers tangle with yours as she walks you to the door. Leaning against the cold brick of the building, you pull her in closer, wanting her in your orbit a little longer.

Her thumb glides over your knuckles, “thank you, for tonight.”

“Thank you. Next time, though, I’m planning everything,” an easy smile crosses your face as you fiddle with her rings. You watch a barely suppressed excitement cross her features, feeling your heart swell at the sight.

Subconsciously, you both lean into each other, no words spoken between you. Your eyes flick to her licks, catching her attention. With a barely there touch, Melissa presses a kiss to your lips, lingering as you just barely keen into her. As she pulls away, she forces herself to take a step back, knowing if she stays close that she’ll never leave.

“Can’t wait,” she says, a smile on her lips that never fades when she’s around you.

“Text me when you get home?” You have to keep a hand on the wall behind to keep you in place, too drawn to Melissa for your own good.

She chuckles, taking a step back, “it’s a five minute drive.”

“Just text me, please,” your head drops to the side, looking at her through your lashes.

The only you get is a little nod, reveling in her little smirk as she turns away. Your eyes stay on her, intent on seeing her safely to her car, but she seems to have other ideas. Before she even reaches the fence, Melissa turns on her heel and quickly walks back up to you. Without so much as a warning, she holds your face in her hands and plants one more solid kiss to your lips.

When she pulls away she sees your brows raised and a dumbfounded look on your face, it leaves her with a little spark of pride in her chest. Her thumb passes over your lip before she steps back, slowly walking backwards, “I’ll text you.”

—☽—

The trudging of Jacob coming upstairs shakes Melissa from her last minute indecisiveness about her choice of shirt, registering her open door, throwing the green shirt over her bra-clad form. Quick feet land her in front of her vanity, plopping in the seat to seem busy instead of fretful. Silent prayers that he leaves her alone go unanswered, peeking in as she unscrews the wand of her mascara.

“What’re you up to tonight?” Jacob asks, practically hopping up to her.

She purposely avoids looking at him, “noneya.”

“Oooh, come on Mel-Mel! Spill!”

“Stop calling me that,” she lets out shortly, carefully blinking on mascara. “I’m just going out, that’s all.” Melissa promised herself the second you came back into her life, she wouldn’t refer to you as just a friend. Not until you told her that’s all you want from her, she couldn’t blame you for that choice after all of her own.

You are beginning to run out of things to fill the time until Melissa arrives. The kitchen was wiped down and swept, the living room vacuumed, shit, you even wiped down the blinds. A nagging part of your mind keeps ringing that maybe you should change the blanket over the back of the couch, but the others don’t match the pillows and that will only make your skin crawl more.

A slammed door in the hall makes you startle out of the near catatonic state you’re in, eyes glazed over as they stare unfocused at the coffee table. Your eyes jump to the clock, the little hand getting closer and closer to the seven, only twenty minutes until she’s here. You let out a deep breath before it hits you, only twenty minutes.

Nearly crashing to the floor as your socks glide on the carpet, you rip the top drawer of your dresser open, brain rushing to figure out if the fluffy socks are a bad look or not. Eyes clenching, you sigh at the immaturity of your own thoughts, feeling like a middle schooler trying to get their crush to like them. It’s all frivolous, really. But, God, you want her to like you.

With five minutes left to wait, you find yourself sitting on the couch, staring at the dark TV screen as your leg bounces hard enough to cause a six-point magnitude earthquake.

Unbeknownst to you, Melissa has been sitting in the lot of your building for ten minutes, working up the courage to walk in. If she didn’t get here early, she is sure she would’ve been late walking inside. Melissa stretches out her hand from the tight clenched fists they had been, crescents in her palm from her pink acrylics. She has to reread her text about a million times before sending it.

Just pulled in.

Peluche: i’ll be right down, give me 30 seconds

Creaking of a heavy metal door takes Melissa out of her thoughts where she stands on the steps, turning to see your head just barely popping out of the door. Neither of you can help the little grins that come to your face, both of your attempts to hide them being useless against the other. Wordlessly, you wave her in, and Melissa is quick to obey. It’s quiet as you both climb the stairs, until you arrive at your front door.

The moment you press one number on the keypad, Bosco is barking up a storm on the other side of the door. When the door opens, he is just as quick to start jumping on Melissa, clearly remembering his friend that he hasn’t seen in almost three months.

“Bobo, dude,” you almost whine, trying to tug him away despite his excited hopping, “alright, enough. Bed, now, little freak.”

When you turn back to Melissa, her face is pink from laughter, the lines around her eyes deeper from the smile on her face. Slipping her jacket off her arms, she asks, “is he like that with everyone?”

“No, not everyone,” you answer, stepping forward to grab her jacket from her to hang up, “he’s usually only that excited when I get home or when my neighbor stops by, but he never jumps on him since the man’s like eight thousand years old.”

Melissa tries to ignore the shivers up her spine, “probably just remembers me, or I’m just that special.”

“Two things can be true at once,” you say sincerely, taking the bottle of wine with you as you search for the corkscrew. “I’ve only got stemless glasses, that okay?”

“Blasphemous,” she jokes, leaning against the counter, resting her weight on her elbows.

Lightheartedly, you roll your eyes, pouring her glass first. Melissa’s eyes light up as you swirl the wine in the glass before handing it to her, something she does before she starts any glass. It’s a pointless little thing she has done since Nonna began allowing her a small cup of wine at dinner when she was fifteen, she never thought you would remember something so miniscule.

It takes less than two minutes of sitting on the couch for Melissa to realize that she had made the biggest mistake telling you that she didn’t care what you watched tonight, that you had full reign of choosing. The Conjuring pops up on the screen, the ominous tree makes her groan. Dropping her chin to her shoulder, she stares at you. The pursing of your lips and strict avoidance of her eyes makes the stare turn to a glare.

“You’re fucking kidding,” she says with a facetious anger, “you’re fucking with me.”

Turning slowly, you put on a failing face of innocence, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit,” Melissa laughs through her words, “you’re trying to get me to walk outta here.”

“No! You said I could pick whatever I want,” you gesture towards the TV.

Melissa heads tilts down, but her eyes stay on you, lips turning up, “you tryna get me all scared like a cliche little movie date? Real sly.”

“So what if I am?” Your expression is playful, but there’s something in your voice that makes Melissa feel warm.

A deep breath leaves her lungs, “if this jump scares me, I’m hitting you with a pillow.”

“Thankfully, I have several,” you mumble, a sated smile on your lips as you press play. 

Two glasses of wine later, you find yourself relaxed into the arm of the couch, while Melissa sits curled into a ball, fully leaned into the back of the couch. For someone so confident and brave, it has always humored you that she was so easily scared of horror films. She nearly suffocated you when she came over one night all those years ago, Candyman left you with the redhead clinging to you like a baby koala.

A pitchy squeak pulls you from the reminiscing you can’t seem to escape, eyes scanning the screen, seeing the exorcism scene, before looking towards Melissa. With her hands over your eyes, you can see her mouth moving, quiet mutters of God dammit and mother fucker leaving glossy lips. It’s impossible to suppress the little chuckle that bubbles in your throat, and squinted green eyes stare you down.

“Shut up,” Melissa mumbles, looking at you rather than back at the movie.

“I didn’t say anything,” you can’t even say it with a straight face, “you’re the one that said I could pick the movie.”

Melissa throws the pillow in her lap at you with a weak arm, “you know I don’t like this scary shit. I’ll never get to sleep tonight.”

“I’ll put Fox and the Hound on after,” you offer. Olive eyes give you an unimpressed look, but the corners of her lips turn up before she gives a little nod in silent thanks.

Her eyes don’t leave you as your attention falls back on the screen, watching as you become fully engrossed in the happenings she refuses to acknowledge. Melissa’s mind churns over your earlier statement, how you might’ve just chosen this for her to get closer to you, and she wishes she could say your not-so-subtle plan wasn’t working. Yet, here she is, thinking that if you were holding her, this would feel like a Pixar film.

Slowly, as if you were the spooked one, she slowly shifts closer. After scanning for discomfort that she doesn’t find, Melissa leans closer, praying you’ll catch on.

“Get over here,” you mumble through a huffed laugh, shifting to rest your back against the arm, putting a leg down on the floor to open up space. Not wasting a second, Melissa lays down on top of you, tucking into you enough that only one eye is able to see the TV, but only if she strains to look up.

It takes zero time for your fingers to find the ends of her hair, the feeling only making Melissa settle in further. Your free hand gets a hold of the remote, turning off the movie before it’s even ended. While you’re looking for the cartoon, Melissa fishes her phone from her back pocket, not bothering to move as she checks her messages.

Jacob: sooo am i leaving the porchlight on or are u coming back in the morning

Put the light on, please.

Jacob: am i allowed to ask questions????

The redhead feels your laugh more than she hears it, peeking up she sees your smirking face. You tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, “you’re right, he’s nosy.”

“Told you. If we were at my place right now, we’d be getting interviewed until next week,” Melissa grumbles. Your only answer is a hum, attention moving to the annoying task of typing out the name of the movie.

You just did.

Your chest rumbles with silent laughter at her response, only holding her tighter when her phone drops on the table and her nose bumps against your neck. The meandering fingers that twirl loose curls around them are a constant distraction for Melissa, the voices of Copper and Tod not even reaching her ears as she settles into a comfort she’s been longing for for years. Nothing will ever quite match the feeling of your lips pressing to her temple.

—☽—

Melissa Schemmenti is picky. Name a topic, she’s got a steadfast opinion on it. The Seahawks? Wanna-be Eagles. Mashed potatoes? Better when a little lumpy. Sleeping? Her bed is the only place she can feel rested. She’d grown all too used to sleeping in her own bed alone, it feels foreign to wake up with someone beside her.Well, her opinion may have changed on that last one.

Curled under a thin blanket, Melissa wakes slowly as the little rays of sun work their way under the curtains. Attempting to stretch her legs, she tries to turn on her back, but is met with resistance. Her movement makes the arm around her tighten, a head nudging into her shoulder blades. Her fingers run up and down the expanse of your arm, quietly asking for you to loosen up. With newfound freedom, she turns to face you, meeting half open eyes and a dopey grin. Tucking yourself into her, you press a lingering kiss to the junction of her neck, mumbling into warm skin.

“What was that, baby?” Melissa rasps out.

“Phone went off,” you grumble a little louder, shuffling closer to her.

Blindly, the redhead reaches around for her phone. Huffing, she forces her eyes open enough to catch face unlock, but they immediately bulge out of her head.

Jacob: hey u coming home tonight?

Jacob: mel mel?

Jacob: barbs said u were fine but can u just answer

Jacob: melissa?

Melissa flies up, your arm dropping limply beside her. A high pitched whine climbs out of your throat as you sit up, leaning against her side with your head on her shoulder. Glancing at her screen, your eyes go as wide as hers.

“If you need to call him, go for it,” you say quietly.

She sighs, “I don’t like lying to him. I’m just…”

“I know,” you reach to hold her hand, “just do whatever feels right for now. We’ll figure everything out later.”

Melissa only gives a nod in response, clearly still in her head. Giving her space, you press a kiss to her shoulder before climbing out of bed. Green eyes follow as you walk out of the room, nearly stumbling into the door as you go. She gives herself another moment to watch you by the coffeemaker before glancing back down at her phone.

Once you’ve taste tested the coffee you made for Melissa, you carefully walk back into your room, trying to not spill a single drop. Glancing up from the mugs, you see that Melissa’s eyes are scrunched, clearly hating the conversation that was happening, but accepting the consequences. Opening one eye and seeing you, she presses a finger to her lips as she puts the call on speaker.

“-ad me worried! You could’ve been dead in a ditch, or worse! I’m happy that you’re happy and having a good time, but you need to be safe! Wait- that sounded weird, I meant physically safe. But that kinda safe too!” Her roommate’s, well warranted, rant continues, leaving you both struggling to breathe from the laughter you try to hide.

Melissa takes a deep breath to compose herself, “Jacob, again, I’m sorry. Wasn’t looking at my phone, but I’ll be better about it.”

“Cross your heart!” The sixth grade teacher was clearly not playing games.

Despite him not being able to see her, Melissa actually draws an X on her chest, “cross my heart.”

Laughing inwardly, you leave Melissa to speak with Jacob as you pad around the room, grabbing your clothes for the day. You feel eyes on you as you move, chest warming under her affection. Peeking over your shoulder as you go down the hall to the bathroom, you send her a wink that makes her grin.

When she finally hangs up with Jacob, Melissa flops back onto the bed, mulling things over in her mind. Telling her friends about you couldn’t be so bad, could it? Starting slow could help, but that means starting at home, and Jacob’s mouth is far too big to keep anything to himself. Telling Barbara will be easy, she already knows about you, just not current events.

She knows that Barbara will love you, that you will love Barbara. Deep down she knows the two of you would be two peas in a pod, and the thought of that alone makes Melissa want to throw caution to the wind. As much as she hates to admit it, acceptance of you from Jacob is something that weighs on her. He’ll probably be obsessed with you, and you don’t even have to say how much you want to meet him, she already knows. It could be so easy.

The spiral in her mind comes to a halt when she hears the bathroom door open. Suddenly feeling full of energy, a giddiness in her bones, she jumps out of bed to find you. Finding you in front of the microwave, reheating your coffee, she wraps her arms around your waist. The light squeeze you receive makes you smile, turning in her grasp to face her, arms encircling her neck.

“Hey, you,” you say, fingers twirling her hair.

“Hey, yourself,” she doesn’t even try to hide the lovesick look on her face, “I’ve got a proposition for ya.”

You snort, “you’re propositioning me?”

“Don’t even,” a hand playfully pinches your side, “it’s a serious question.” The little grin on your face drops, and Melissa can feel your hands freeze where they play with her curls. “Not super serious… just wondering if you’d wanna meet them? Barb, Jacob, maybe the others?

“You want that?” She nods immediately. “Are you sure?” She nods again. “Then, okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

—☽—

How on Earth was she ever nervous about this? Seriously, how?

Janine had invited most of Abbott to her shoebox of an apartment for an end of year party, cleverly inviting Melissa and Barbara over early to get them in a cleaning mood. Everyone else wasn’t supposed to arrive for another half hour, you included. Melissa asked you to come later, hoping that there was less of a chance you’d be grilled if you arrived when the party was more full.

Forty sardines with master’s degrees fill the apartment, and Melissa is still finding little things around the place that need to be dusted and wiped down, but her momentum entirely ends when her phone buzzes in her pocket. Nearly dropping the vase in her hands, she fishes her phone out.

Peluche: i think i’m here

Peluche: the bouncer?? won’t let me in

An amused sigh passes her lips as she swerves through the sea of bodies to get to the front door, seeing Mr. Johnson with his arm barring the door.

“Mr. J, let them in,” Melissa laughs out, patting the man’s shoulder. He turns to look at her with scrutinizing eyes, but lowers his arm to allow space for you.

An arm wraps itself around your waist, immediately pulling you into her space, filling your senses with honey and the distinct smell of foundation on her skin. Guiding you carefully, trying to keep anyone from getting too close to you, she brings you over to where Barbara is fussing over a bookshelf. With a tap on the shoulder, the kindergarten teacher turns to Melissa before brown eyes land on you. You don’t think you’ve ever seen someone so excited to see you in your entire life, and you don’t even know this woman.

“By the good lord’s graces,” she gasps at her own outburst, thrusting out her hand for you. “I’m sorry dear, it is lovely to meet you. I’m Barbara.”

Shaking her hand, you reply, “lovely to meet you, too. I’m-”

“Oh, I know exac-”

“Barb!” Melissa cuts in, pinching the bridge of her nose. Your hand rubs her arm, trying to keep her from blowing a gasket, even if you’re fighting giggles next to her. Her attention falls back on you, all annoyance fading, “you want a drink?”

You nod, feeling her already beginning to tug you away. Rushing your words, you speak to Barbara, “it was nice meeting you!”

“You too, sweetheart. I’ll see you at brunch next week, I’m sure,” Barbara chuckles warmly. Accepting that this was the closest thing she’ll get to an introduction with Melissa.

Staying behind you with hands on your hips to guide you, Melissa leads you towards the kitchen. Everything feels like it’s underwater, with her hands on you, protective and, dare you say, possessive. For someone who had been nervous for days about you meeting everyone, she sure had no care in the world now. Quietly, next to your ear, you hear her counting down from five. Just as she hits one, a squeal pierces your eardrums.

“Oh my gosh. Oh. My. Gosh!” The voice is immediately recognizable to the one that had been lecturing the redhead over the phone in your bedroom only a few weeks ago. “Hi, hi, I’m Jacob, I work with Melissa at Abbott.”

“Also lecture her, from what I heard,” you joke, making Jacob pause.

Without a chance to blink, Jacob jumps up and down, “so you’re where she’s been lately!” Both you and Melissa wince and the sheer volume of it, but recover quickly when he calms, suddenly quiet and scanning you over, “you better be careful, not for her sake, but yours.”

There’s no malice in his words, it’s a pure warning. From the look on his face, it’s entirely about what he’ll do if she gets hurt, not what Melissa would do to you. From behind you, the redhead’s brows scrunch, mostly out of confusion, ready to tell Jacob off for talking to you like that. She feels guilty, she’s the one who messed everything up before, she deserves the questioning of her worthiness.

You take Jacob’s words in stride, “I’m counting on you to set me straight then, if I ever dare to step out of line.”

Jacob’s entire demeanor goes back to normal at your words, looking at Melissa excitedly, “I like them.”

“Yeah, me too. You ain’t special,” she chuckles, hand on your hip tightening, pulling you imperceptibly closer.

Within an hour, most of the partygoers are on the dancefloor, the two of you included. Cups with rum and whatever chaser Janine had left were teetering on spilling, holding your weight against her is all that keeps you from teetering as well. Sea Barbara stays happily to herself with her cardboard cutout dance partner, content to slow dance to the fast paced music. Singing and cheering around you feels far away as your drunken attention refuses to stray from Melissa, her attention staying on you.

It’s increasingly more difficult to not kiss you when you’re this close, but with warm bodies against her at every side, it’s less than ideal. If it were, it would just be the two of you. She’s so close to just asking if you want to get out of here, but she’s interrupted just as she ducks to speak in your ear.

“Melissa! Barbara! You’re supposed to be cleaning!” Janine yells, hands on her hips. You can feel Melissa groan more than you can hear it, loud music almost deafening you in the small apartment. Barbara tries to shoo the shorter woman away, but her drunk state doesn’t hold the same level of authority that it typically does.

“Janine, it’s a party. We’re partying,” Melissa says dismissively. Not once does her hand leave your waist, keeping you from being jostled by other people.

Her speaking up has Janine’s attention back on her, who quickly recognizes your presence. Brown eyes go from your face, to the hands on you, and back to Melissa’s face. Realization and excitement washes over her face, and the chattering that comes from her is hardly heard or understood from the bass boosts and liquor. Flapping hands keep moving as you try your best to gather her words, but she’s running off excitedly before you can even introduce yourself. You watch Janine bounce towards a lanky man, pointing in your direction, clearly telling him that Melissa brought someone.

Chuckling to yourself, you look back to Melissa, whose eyes are already one you. The universe seems to be both with and against her, because just as she tries to speak, the lights go out and the music stops. Warm hands pull you closer in surprise, and you can’t even be upset about your almost empty cup dropping to the floor. Murmurs around you get louder as everyone sits in equal confusion, but Melissa feels her opportunity.

Feeling lips brush your ear, heat rises to your cheeks, “wanna get out of here?”

“God, yes,” you say, shifting your hand from her arm to her hand, interlocking your fingers. Pulling you with her, she quickly gets to Barbara to let her know you’re both leaving, sneakily passing your phone to text Gerald while she gets her friend some water.

By the end of the night, neither of you could even find the energy to change out of your clothes after walking home. Melissa’s apartment being closer was a blessing, you didn’t even register that this was the first time you’ve been there. Neither did Melissa.

Brushing her teeth next to you in the mirror, pulling back sheets on the other side of the bed, becoming your personal pillow the moment you lay on the mattress. It just felt right.

—☽—

Bobbing your head along to Deftones, you mentally map out the drawing you’re supposed to be starting. The measurements they gave you make no sense, especially with the materials they requested. It’s like they’re asking for the building to concave on itself, not to house people. You’d pressed about giving them a consultation, see the inner workings of the old medical office yourself, but they rejected it ‘for time,’ which really means money. Little do they know they’re going to end up costing themselves more.

The song switches from Shove It to Mascara as knocking raps against your door, but they go completely unnoticed to you. So does the voice trying to get your attention without having to tap your shoulder, knowing it sends ten feet in the air in surprise.

“Boss… Boss… Boss!” Terrence gets no response for the third time before looking to the woman on his left, “you’ll have to go get ‘em, I guess. Lunatic keeps the volume to ear bleeding levels so they don’t have to listen to us, I swear.”

Melissa chuckles, “well, thank you anyways, hon. I got it from here.” Moving into the room, she shuts the door behind her, leaning against it to watch you for just a moment.

What she first notices is your button up, or lack thereof, disregarded on a chair on the other side of the room. Selfishly, she lets herself look you up and down, savoring bare arms and the hard look on your face. Melissa finds herself frozen, mind racing with images of you, subconsciously biting her lip as her eyes rake over you. Only pulled out of her mind by a groan that leaves your lips, she wills herself to get closer to you.

With your back still to her, you’re unable to see her slow movements as she tries to sneak up on you. Hands trail up your sides, clutching slightly when she feels you jump at the sudden touch. Turning in her arms, your bewildered expression dies when you meet green eyes, crinkled around the edges in amusement. Catching your breath, you wrap your arms around her neck.

“You scared the shit out of me,” you say softly, “but this is a pleasant surprise.”

“Missed you. I’ve barely seen you all week,” her arms tighten around your waist.

You press your lips together, trying to hide the giddy feeling in your chest that’s spreading, “I’m sorry, they’ve got me practically chained to the desk until this draft is drawn up. Fuckers think it’s easy turning procedure suites into apartments, it’s not.”

“Not your fault, sweetheart,” her lips press to your cheek as she tugs you in, missing holding you, being held by you. “I have dinner with my family tomorrow night, though, so I won’t be around. Just wanted to get my time in with you before I go into withdrawals.”

You laugh at her words, “Withdrawal? Little melodramatic, don’t you think?”

“Me? Never,” she tries to keep a serious face, but her smile overtakes as she watches you roll your eyes lightheartedly.

A finger twirls a copper strand around, voice weary, “tell everyone I said hi?”

“Well…” Melissa’s face drops a little, knowing she hasn’t told her family that you’re back in her life. Her eyes scan your face, seeing the smallest hint of sadness, and hurries to correct it. “You can tell them yourself, if you want.”

The twirling stops, “you mean that? Because you can’t offer that if you don’t mean it.”

“I mean it, I promise,” her hands sit more firmly on you now, “they miss you, they just never mention it. But they do. Especially John Anthony. And Kristin Marie, but she’ll never admit that, even to herself.”

The only answer she received is a strong kiss pressing to her lip, her eyes immediately fluttering shut at the contact. The hand in her hair tightens as your entire body pushes into her, groaning at the feeling of her on you mixing with the emotions of it all. How easily she asked you to come with her, to see her family, to be by her side for real this time. It feels too early to say what you want to at this moment, so you just kiss her harder.

Melissa spent half the day and the entire drive to the house telling you that no, her parents don’t hate you, and that yes, they will be incredibly excited to see you again. She kept the knowledge of your attendance secret, not wanting to be slammed with questions, but mostly because she wanted to see the look on her mother’s face when she saw her favorite not-her-child from all those years ago.

“Are you sure you want me to go? I don’t want to if you only offered because you felt like you had to. If I’m impos-”

“You’re not imposing,” she almost whispers as she cradles your face, “I want you there. It hasn’t felt the same since you stopped coming.”

Pressing kissing to your knuckles every now and then, Melissa manages to take some of the anxiety off your shoulders. Turning onto the familiar street, you immediately sit up straighter in your seat, checking your outfit and fiddling with everything, desperate to pick off lint that isn’t even there. Melissa lets it go, knowing there’s no stopping this. Part of her feels guilty, knowing she’s the reason that you felt they could hate you, that they wouldn’t be happy to see you. All she ever told them was you had a mutual falling out, never that it was her fault, especially not that it was yours.

Pulling up in front of the house, Melissa’s fingers tighten around yours. Looking up at her, you see the silent question in her eyes, giving her a nod that tells her you’re fine. To prove yourself, you hop out of the car to jog to her side, opening the door for her with a grin. Shaking her head with a half-hidden smile on her lips, she takes your offered hand and pulls you into her, walking with you to the door.

No knocking required, Melissa steps in first, only letting go of your hand for a brief moment to shrug off your jackets before her hand is back in yours. Chattering in the kitchen leads you to where everyone stands or sits, sipping on beers and white wine. Clearing her throat, Melissa gets the attention of the room. Silence fills the previously loud air.

“Yooooo!” You hear someone yell, a voice that you recognize all too well. Without a moment’s notice, you’re immediately tackled, hand being ripped from Melissa’s. You hug the person back, still trying to figure out exactly who it is, but the exaggerated leaning side-to-side gives you everything. Little John Anthony isn’t so little anymore, not that he ever really was.

Feeling another body against you, one arm reaches behind to give some level of contact as acknowledgement. Slowly people let go of you while others come in, and all you can feel is glad that everything is so busy, no one will see the happy tears forming in your eyes. Annette’s noodle arms let go of you, moving as she feels a tap on her back. When she moves, Melissa’s mother stands before you.

“Finally,” she says, cradling your face in her soft hands, “I knew you’d be back.” Patting your cheek, she finally moves out of the way for others to get a hold of you. Melissa can barely see you most of the night, but the warmth in her chest grows every time she sees you talking with someone new, hugging someone else as you talk. Kristin Marie hides her excitement well, but not well enough, though you let her get away with hugging you tightly without saying anything about it.

By dinner time, everyone’s been reacquainted with your presence, and Melissa can finally get her hands on you again. Scooching her chair closer, she mumbles in your ear while the conversation carries around the table.

“Told you, nothing to worry about,” her hand squeezes your thigh reassuringly.

“I missed them,” you say, running your fingers up and down her arm, “I missed this.”

Family dinner ends the way it always does, with everyone talking in the living room, sipping coffee or the remainder of their drinks. You take your place next to Melissa on the couch, leaning your head on her shoulder as she talks to Toni about something you can’t remember. You haven’t felt this at peace in so long, you missed your family. Annette and Vinny fighting, music playing from the TV, chattering around you in a mix of Italian and English, it’s comforting.

Looking up from your perch on her shoulder, you keep your eyes on Melissa. Watching her hands move as she speaks, how happy she looks, how beautiful she is. Turning slightly to put her glass on the table, she catches your gaze, the corners of her lips going up as she catches the lovesick look on your face. Fully knowing she’s being watched, fully feeling the warmth in her cheeks, she leans in to press a soft kiss to your lips. Careful to not linger long, she pulls away and goes back to her conversation with her sister.

No more hiding.

—☽—

“Am I buying groceries for two people or three this week?” You ask as you walk into the kitchen, fidgeting with the pen in your hand,

“Mmm… Jacob mentioned maybe stopping by tomorrow night, so probably three,” Melissa answers, looking through the pantry, “and we need potatoes, I forgot to write that down.”

“Red ones?” You joke, coming up behind her to press your lips to the junction of her neck. Leaning her head back onto your shoulder, she lets you continue your path up her neck to her jaw, nipping at her ear. “I gotta get going before they close,” Melissa whines at the loss of contact, “I’ll be quick, might not even pay.”

She chuckles warmly, scrunching her nose, “right, sure you won’t, goodie-two-shoes.”

Pulling away, you jot down russets and give her another kiss, this one to her lips. “I love you,” you mumble as you part, “see you in a bit.”

The moment the front door shuts, the once cozy and nonchalant Melissa is replaced by a frenzied and excited one. Flying around the house, she begins to put her plan in place. Tealights are placed everywhere, the lighter checked for fuel, the small box from under her socks now buried in her pocket, she just had to open the bottle of Angel’s Envy. It took an embarrassing number of different liquor stores to find, but that was months ago, and this is now.

Melissa lights the last candle just as she hears your car door slam shut, then the trunk. Staying out of direct view, she watches you come in the door, looking at your feet as you walk. You’re in your own little world, completely walking through to the kitchen, dropping the bags off. Making your way into the living room, you almost drop the bouquet in your hands.

Candles all around the room, music playing softly from the record player, Melissa wearing your sweater. Your jaw drops, eyes wide as you stare at the redhead, utterly bewildered. She takes the chance to step a little closer, watery smile stretching across her face as you shakily hold out red chrysanthemums. Taking them carefully, she sets them on the table, grabbing your hand to pull you with her. Soft eyes watch her every movement, letting her move you around until you’re where she wants you.

“I love you,” Melissa says quietly, shifting from the couch to the floor, “I’ve loved you since the day I met you, and I haven’t stopped once. Even when I didn’t know, I loved you. When I wouldn’t listen to my own brain, I loved you. When I thought I couldn’t, I loved you.”

“Mel…” Your voice comes out cracked, a wobbly lip stuck between smiling and sobbing.

“Let me finish, baby,” she says softly, stroking the hand she holds in her own, “you are everything to me, and it took me too long to figure that out. But now, I’m not taking a single thing for granted, not you, never you.” Melissa reaches into her back pocket, pulling out a small, emerald box, “I wish I could’ve had you my whole life, but all I can ask you for is the rest of it.”

Tears spill down your cheeks at her words, fingers clinging to her hand like a life source. You so badly want to reach out, cup her face, and kiss her, her words playing the strings of your heart, but you refrain. Too much restraint goes into not pouncing on her the second she pulled out the ring box, your lips practically begging to be on hers already. You can’t help the frown on your face when Melissa’s hand leaves you, properly holding the ring to present it to you.

“Will you marry me?” The smile on her lips only grows as she asks, knowing what you’ll say just based on the look you give her.

What she doesn’t account for was that all your restraint would break, and she’s knocked to the floor as you pepper her face with kisses, lips smacking against her skin. Moving from her forehead, to her cheeks, and finally, to her lips. All love, all want, all devotion, all you.

“Yes, yes,” you answer quickly, lips barely parting from hers, “God, I love you. I love you so much.”

Chuckling at your overexcited babbling, she manages to sit you both up, keeping you in her lap. A warm hand pulls your left hand from her face, sliding the ring on without taking her eyes off of you. Your hand immediately goes back to her face, pulling her into your kiss once more.

Morning back pain be damned, neither of you leave the floor of the living room the rest of the night. Waking up with your heart beating under her ear is all the consolation she needs, your newly ringed hand in hers.

At the next family dinner, all the cousins take one peek at your hand, eyes widening. Melissa and you both brace for shouting and to be lifted in the air by one of her brothers, but you were wrong. Maria Christina groans as she passes a twenty over to Seamus, who was getting handed money by at least four other people. He peeks up to see a very shocked you and Melissa.

“What? We all saw it coming, I just picked the right week. Ma said tomorrow.”

note: time for sol’s monthly novel <3 hope you enjoyed

feedback appreciated as always

[leejungchans]

svt as the types of people you meet in college? it can be totally up to your interpretation of them hehe and they don't have to fit into certain college stereotypes!!!

OH i love this!!!!!! (based on my own experiences mixed with some cliches/aus/imaginings 🫶🏻) sorry this took a while to get to btw 🥲

seungcheol: the senior who manned one of the booths at your freshman orientation. did you join his club bc he was ridiculously attractive and made small talk with you? no comment. you follow each other on instagram but that’s probably about it <//3 definitely a campus crush that feels very unattainable but it doesn’t stop you from imagining what he’d be like as your a boyfriend

jeonghan: you walked past him once, and pretended you heard someone behind you calling your name just so you had an excuse to do a double-take. people this pretty existed?? and at your college/uni?? you told all your friends about him and after some snooping you managed to find his instagram. please just send that follower request, you have nothing to lose <3

joshua: i can totally see him being a student advisor omg!! so so so sweet, actually checks in on you often and is genuinely interested in knowing how things are going for you :’) does his best to give good advice, but as you became closer friends you became more familiar with his sense of humour and his advice got increasingly……interesting 😭 “your prof said what? next time trip him in the hallway!” “joshua nO” don’t do that

jun: sat in front of you in one of your courses last year, fell asleep during the lecture almost every single week. his friends gave up on keeping him awake halfway through the semester. you became friends after being randomly assigned to the same group for project and now you’re the friend who has to keep him awake during classes. he’s so cool though, and very witty and funny <3

soonyoung: even if you don’t know him personally, you always run into him on campus. grabbing a coffee at the cafe, goofing off with his friends in the quad, dozing off in the library…he’s friendly with everyone, even the grumpiest professors. you want to be his friend so bad, he just seems so fun to be around. also the only person you know who wears tiger print but he pulls it off!!

wonwoo: you have a class with him and he always sits in the back. so quiet and shy, barely talks to anyone but he’s really cute so you noticed him regardless. you got paired up for a discussion and found out how smart and well-spoken he was, and you guess he vibed with you too bc since then he started saving you a seat :’)) occasionally plays games on his laptop when the lecture gets boring, and angles the screen more towards you so you can watch <3

jihoon: a friend of a friend. you’ve never met but jun tells you so much about him, so it almost feels like you know him too. you follow him on instagram and occasionally he’ll post covers of him singing while playing the guitar. you offhandedly mentioned to jun that his voice is so pretty and soothing and much to your embarrassment he tells jihoon 😭 but it’s okay bc he’s setting up a hangout to officially introduce you both to each other!!

seokmin: the friend we wish we all had. you met on your very first day of college/uni when you had the same class. he initiated convo with you and was so sweet and friendly even though you could tell he was extremely nervous himself, protect him omg 💔 one of your closest friends to this day even if you don’t have the same majors. you enrol in random electives together and those lectures are always your favourite bc you sit in the back and goof off, just try not to get shushed too much <33

mingyu: spilled coffee on your shoes at the starbucks on campus 🙁 it’s not his fault it was really crowded and someone bumped into him causing him to bump into you!! also, he looked very guilty about it so you couldn’t find it in you to be mad. he pays for your coffee as an apology. he recognises you when you stand behind him in line two weeks later and jokes that he won’t spill anything on you this time. you became friends and now you understand why his close friends (affectionately) bully him so much bc he’s just a puppy trapped in a 6ft man’s body 🤧

minghao: literally the main character. he doesn’t walk, he struts and it works for him. so effortlessly cool and attractive. a huge motivating factor for showing up to that class is getting to see what his outfit for that day is. one time you mustered up the courage to compliment his shirt, and your heart swelled at how his face lit up immediately :’)

seungkwan: if you hear the sound of ice being shaken around in a plastic cup mid-lecture, 9 times out of 10 that’s him. he’s an iced coffee girlie he’s just like me. you became friends after he sincerely complimented you on how well you did in your midterm presentation 🤧 the sweetest most caring person ever, but he shows his affection by (playfully) judging you while sipping his iced americanos <3

vernon: took the seat across from you in the library one day while you were cramming for a test. has the coolest stickers on his headphones. you aren’t sure if he actually got any work done bc he seemed really into the music he was listening to. you accidentally made eye contact and he gave you a dorky little smile <3 you exchanged contacts the second time you happened upon each other at that very same table and he showed you a pic of his cat hehe

chan: this is sooooo self-indulgent bc i’ve had these thoughts for the longest time……he’s such a loser (affectionate) omg………..he sat next to you for a quiz and realised he didn’t have a pen 😭 blushed so hard when you offered to lend him a spare one before profusely thanking you. forgets to return it………..you thought you lost that pen for good but when he walked into class the next week, his eyes desperately searched the room looking for you, and with an sheepish smile he returned your pen along with a candy bar as an apology for forgetting…….he’s so cute i hate him so much🧎🏻‍♀️

a/n: many feelings about college bf!wonwoo and chan…….

[1whore1gang]

it's the little things 🤍

This is part 4!!

Read parts 1-3 HERE

Warnings: more angst, I'm so sorry BUT BUT BUT theres sickeningly sweet fluff at the end so bare with me ;), cussing, emotions, mentions of SA

I tried to make this one longer bc i feel like part 1 was so good and then 2 and 3 kinda flopped so heres me trying to write more than I usually do.

Also, I'm surprised no one has noticed a small writing detail I did last chapter regarding Price. I'll do it again in this chapter to see if anyone can catch on hehehehe :)

EDIT: not me saying I wanted to attempt to make this as long as part one when part one was 2,437 words and this one ended up 4,314 words....oops

Taglist: @gaymistakeboi @batw3nch @thedevillovesflowers @almightywdm @ghostslittlegf @sketchyfandomgirl @under-the-dirt @clear-your-mind-and-dream @darkangel4121 @vreselia @llemes @stargaliz @rockcollector3000 @nottrosaxx

(sorry if i forgot anyone!!! please yell at me if I did!!)

"Stop that!" Your voice was almost begging as Soap kept grabbing at Ghost's little hoodie strings. Soap kept fighting with Ghost all day and you couldn't handle it anymore. You finally picked up Soap and put him alone in the playpen. "You're in time out."

He began to wail, making you shed tears of your own. You were exhausted from the three little boys. They'd been causing trouble lately and keeping you up all night this week.

Gaz looked up at you with a little toy car shoved halfway in his mouth, blinking innocently as Ghost continues to play with his blocks as he was before Soap grabbed him. "At least you two are giving me a break today." Soap continued to wail dramatically, not even crying, just wanting your attention.

Laswell had told you that he needed to learn that he's not the only one you take care of, so you sometimes have to leave him to cry it out on his own to teach him. She'd stopped by the other day to brief you on a new group of recruits.

She was definitely questioning why you of all people had your Captain's so-called 'nephews' and you had to think on your feet, but she didn't buy it.

"Tell me the truth, who's kids are these Y/N?" Her voice was in that motherly tone she had mastered with all of you.

"You wouldn't believe me." You said, trying to quiet Soap's crying, which led to her advice about letting him cry it out.

"If you're going to tell me they're yours, yeah I won't." She shook her head, becoming increasingly more annoyed with you.

"Promise you won't report me for drugs?"

"Depends."

You had told her everything about finding the boys like this, and she had to take some time to think it over until she noticed how Soap only plays with Ghost, and how Gaz keeps to himself and didn't cry once while she was there. She took a day before she texted you again telling you she was there if you needed any help.

That was 3 days ago, and you didn't want to bother her since she had taken over some of your duties since your hands were quite full.

You leaned against the foot of your bed as you finally heard Soap's cries die down, turning around to see he had tuckered himself out into a sleep. You took a couple of deep breaths, trying to dry your tears when you felt little hands on your feet.

You opened your eyes to see Gaz and Simon grabbing at your toes. They both sit down at your attention. You went to go move to see what they needed when Gaz gave you a goofy smile.

Smiling back, you swopped him up to your chest to rock him, almost thanking him for bringing a smile to your face. You heard the familiar little grunt from Simon as you looked at him.

His hand was just outstretched towards you with one of his little blocks, offering it to you. Laughing a little, you took it and noticed the letter on the block was your initial.

Your eyes went wide as you looked back at Simon. "You know...or do you?" The question was more for yourself than him. You knew Simon couldn't understand you, he was a baby, there's no way he could.

"Is this me?" You cooed, pointing to the block he gave you. He grunted in response. "There's no way." Was he actually coherent? Was your Simon in there, he just couldn't express properly? Or had little Simon heard your name enough times that he knew? You felt something wet on your neck and saw Gaz drooling, thanking the universe that two of the boys so far have gone down for a nap.

Setting him in the playpen, you return to Simon, wanting to see if there was any way you could find out if he was cognitively adult Simon. "Do you know what's going on?" Your voice was gentle and quiet. Watching adamantly, you waited for him to give you any reaction. "Simon?"

His wide eyes looked up at you, focused shifted from his toys. "Do you know?" He blinked a couple of times, then looked around the room. He grunted a couple of times before looking down at his blocks.

"Simon?" You said again sweetly. You watched as Simon's lip began to quiver as he looked over his blocks, he began to cry, grabbing at the blocks and then throwing one before beginning to cry. "Oh honey, I'm sorry."

He reached out for you and you picked him up, comforting him. "It's okay honey, I'm sorry." You could tell something had bothered him, but what?

He wasn't wailing or screaming, just a silent whine of a cry. Almost like he was sad or frustrated. "Are you mad at something?" You moved to where you could see his face, cradling him.

You watched his breathing catch in his chest at your question. You ran two of your fingers over his little chest, rubbing circles to calm him. "Breathe Simon, don't hold your breath on me. You're okay, work through the cry sweetheart."

Your touch immediately helped him take in a good sized breath. "That's it." You watched him slowly calm himself down as you shushed him and held him. "Did your blocks make you mad?"

He crawled out of your arms clumsily, the most movement you've seen from him. He threw another block, not aggressively or at anything, but at the ground. "Yeah? Do you not like your blocks?" You reached for another toy for him to play with but he grunted.

You snapped your attention back to him, "What's wrong? I wish you could tell me." You felt helpless. He clearly was distraught over something, and you had no way of knowing what was happening.

He stared down at his blocks again, breathing in huffs. He held one out to you after picking it out. It was a 'Y' block. "What does this mean? Does this mean you understand?" He grunts.

You feel tears sting your eyes. "You know..." He grunts again. "Oh my God!!" You pick him up and stare at him. You bring him to your chest in a small hug, teary eyed. "I'm gonna get you boys back to normal, I promise."

Some hours passed and you had attempted to get a sign out of Gaz or Soap to no avail. It seems as if Simon was the only one who was cognitive of what was going on, but you still were unsure of the extent of his knowledge and awareness.

It's been a week since you had seen the Captain, and as much as you told yourself you wanted to keep it that way, deep down you wanted the softness he had when the boys were were first found. At night, you'd catch yourself dreaming about the way he looked that evening he popped into your office to ask if you were hungry, or the way he speak quietly to you in the mornings knowing you were up late with one of the boys.

Laswell hasn't mention anything about him either but you didn't know if that was a personal choice, or if she actually had no information regarding him.

You wanted to know where he was. Not only did you miss the warmth he held when you two were handling this situation, but you missed his help. He would always let you sleep in or let you take a rest. He cooked and stepped up so you weren't overexerting yourself.

You missed the companionship.

You glanced over to the clock to see it was nearly midnight, but when you scanned the time stamp on your phone, you saw a message from your email.

It was from General Shephard. It was sent hours ago.

Dear Lieutenant L/N,

I am writing this to you to pass it on that the Private you sent to me regarding sexual harassment has been found innocent. There was no camera footage found after review and he has no background violations or any previous infarctions.

Best Regards,

General Shephard

You felt your heart sink in your chest. There's cameras all over the training room, how could they not see it? The familiar sting landed in your throat as your emotions took over you.

Innocent? After what he did? How could Shephard not see that?!

You felt like you were going to scream, the pain unbearable.

It made you think back to Dubai. The severity of that event would've landed that man in jail. The way you had bruises on your neck and hips from the harsh grip of his hands for weeks, the way you limped for days. You remember the cold stare of your Captain when you told him, the nonchalant "Brush it off."

You were crushed.

You had lost.

The sun shone through the windows of your room as you woke up, looking over to see Gaz and Ghost already up. You picked them up to change them and then situated them in holsters, one on your chest, one on your back.

You did the same with Soap and then placed him on your hip, taking them to the kitchen to feed them.

Taking a moment while the bottles warmed, you took in the sight of all three boys in their highchairs, drowsy. Their little eyelashes fluttering as they struggled to stay awake, babbling and cooing.

It made you take a step back and really breathe in the moment, this may be the only time in your life that you're able to have this motherly role, even if they aren't your kids.

The microwave beeped and you shook the bottles, handing each one to the littles, watching as the half-hazardly drank the bottles. You felt a joy spark in your chest, enjoying this time with them despite the trouble they cause.

And here you thought they were troublesome as adults. Jokes on you.

You sat down at the breakfast bar as you waited, your mind drifting to distant memories.

"Y/N!!!" You could hear Soap's voice as you fell to your knees clutching your shoulder in pain. Removing your hand, you saw the blood seeping into the cotton material of your uniform. The sounds of warfare around you felt muffled as the pain radiated through your body from the gunshot wound.

You leaned on your hand to steady yourself, trying to breathe through the pain as the sound of skidding sounded in your ears. Looking up, you saw Soap sliding over to you, firing to cover you. "Get on my back! We gotta get ya outta here lass!" You moved slowly, trying to stay off your right arm. You winced as you climbed onto his back, squeezing your legs to keep yourself up as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

He had carried you out of the fire into a safe house not too far away as he immediately performed first aid to your shoulder. You remember the way he remained calm when his face was in your eyeline, but you could watch his muscles tense as he worried about your state.

The memory made you smile. Soap was always there for you, like he had eyes in the back of his head. Anytime you got hurt out in the field, he was worrying himself sick. He cared so much, and had such a big heart of gold.

"How dare you?!" You laughed, slamming down your Uno cards.

Gaz taunted you as he celebrated his win. You two were in a tent on a mission trying to boost both of your morales. Uno was your favorite game, but he was too good at it for your own good. No matter how strategic you were, he would always win.

Gaz was like that at every game, the rest of the team dreading game nights. Once in awhile though, you'd catch him letting you win because he enjoyed seeing you rub it in everyone's faces. It brought him joy to see you smile, so if he had to take a loss, he would.

You heard a whine as Soap finished his bottle. The other two boys were still working on theirs, so you went to go wash out the empty one.

"Ghost! How copy?" Your voice was panicked as you frantically looked around Las Almas. You were completely separated from Soap and Ghost. Soap had ended up around two miles from you, but Ghost wouldn't come through the radio. It had you so anxious you were going to be sick.

"Soap, do you have visual on Ghost?"

"No," his voice was strained from his shot wound. "There's a church about halfway between us, let's meet there and regroup."

For the next hour and some, you and Soap worked together to find a church, and when you did, Soap was already there. You rushed to him, relief washing over you until you heard a familiar hum.

Turning around, you say Ghost. "Don't fucking scare me like that ever again!" You punched his chest. "I thought you were dead!" You were angry with him, trying to land a hard hit on him.

He grabbed his arms and wrapped them around his waist as he silently brought you into an embrace. You cried into his chest as he brushed his hand over your head, the other drawing shapes into your back. "You're not gonna get rid of me that easy." He let out.

"You scared me so bad, I thought I lost you." You said through sobs.

"You'll never lose me."

Once the boys were finished with their bottles, you washed everything out and put the boys in some fresh clothes. You had decided you were going to take them out as you needed more supplies.

Maybe you'd stop by a park on the far end of town so they could get some fresh air too.

And everything had gone according to plan while you were out.

You even stopped to get ice cream, giving the boys a bite or two each of your own cup.

The day was full of fun and laughter, the sun was bright and the boys were well-behaved.

When you arrived back to base, you opened your door and set your bags down and put the boys in their playpen when you heard someone clear their throat.

"Y/N..." You turned around to greet the person in your room.

"Laswell, what's wrong?" You saw the solemn look ridden on her face.

"It's John, we need to talk about him."

You had brought her into the kitchen of the compound, brewing some coffee as you both sat down. "I don't really wish to talk about him right now." You said as you scoot your chair in.

"I know what happened, he told me everything. But, there's something you need to know. I know where he is, and I'm worried about him." She looked at you, silently asking you to hear her out. "I know he's not your favorite person but-"

"He disregarded my sexual assault in Dubai and prevented me from reporting it and when I called him out, he walked out on me. On top on everything else he's done, of course he's not my favorite person, he never has been." You were already fired up.

"I know what he did. I found him yesterday in his office, passed out drunk. He had your file pulled up on his computer. When I finally got him up and had him sober up, he spilled everything. He was crying. John doesn't cry Y/N." Laswell was trying to get to you through your emotions. You weren't falling for that.

"Why would I give a shit?"

"I've never seen you this fired up over him, there's something you're not telling me." That motherly tone is back. Your mind went to his kind smile, the gentle look in his eyes.

"He let me in." Your voice was quiet.

"Excuse me?!"

"When I brought the boys to him, hoping to find some help or answers, he wasn't the man I've come to know through my time of service. He wasn't Captain Price anymore, I saw John. He was kind and warm and gentle. He was sweet to me and helped with the boys, always letting me rest. I saw his smile, and the look in his eyes was unlike anything I've seen before. I've had a glimpse and now I'll never see it again." You felt hot tears sting your cheeks.

"I wouldn't say that." Laswell shook her head. "There is so much you don't know about him dear, you should go talk to him."

"I can't even look at him after he walked out."

"Give him a chance to explain himself." Laswell put her hand on yours. "Let him tell you for himself."

Your eyes widened at the gesture. "Tell me what?"

"What's got him so in his head. Please." She begged you to go see your Captain in his office. After some convincing and more tears, you finally gave in, just to get her off of you.

Your footsteps were loud in your ears as you approached his door, knocking lightly. There was no response. You slowly turned the doorknob, entering the room, closing the door behind you.

You froze at the sight before you. There were files all over his desk, most of them with your name on it. Your Captain was sitting with his head in his hands. "Captain?" Your voice was meek.

His head shot up, wide eyes staring into you. You could see the bags under his eyes, his eyes red from crying. He had a bottle of bourbon on his desk, only a droplet or two left in it. "Laswell said you had something to tell me." You said, not wanting to make anymore eye contact.

He remained silent, the room thick with it. You heard him stand from his chair, but you remained with your gaze on your shoes. "I-" He began. "I won you the case."

That's when your head snapped up. "What?"

"The Dubai case. With that guy. I, uh, I filed everything together and he's being put in jail."

You were confused. "You're 3 years too late."

"It's taken me three years." His words cut you deep. "I went straight to Shephard and Laswell when we got back from the mission. I filed a case against him in your name."

You stood dumbfounded. "That doesn't explain the way you reacted, nor the way you walked out on me." You were still hurt. You couldn't forgive him.

"Understandable." He sniffled as he began to fiddle with the files on his desk. "There's no excuse for the way I reacted, but you do deserve an explanation." He cleared his throat and looked up at you. When you didn't say anything, he continued. "When you came to me about it, at first I didn't think anything of it. I had a lot of female soldiers doing that to me that trip just so they could get sent home early or get a fat check. I caught them lying and they'd immediately back down. My mind told me you were doing the same thing." He takes in a shaky breath. "That was until I came to find you one morning and caught you changing. You were putting your shirt on when I saw your bruising. It looked like you had been beaten, I watched your walls come up that day and I watched you cower into a shell of yourself. That's when I know you were telling the truth."

"Why didn't you say anything?" You spoke up.

He sighed and took a second to collect himself, on the verge of tears. "I knew the statistics of women winning these types of cases, especially with the lack of proof. I snuck pictures of you to document your marks, and I asked every soldier I could to find a witness. No one came forward. The case would've never won, and I knew that. That's why I never said anything to you, I couldn't stand to watch you feel the pain of not getting the justice you deserved. Shephard and Laswell told me how poor the evidence was, and the three of us spent years trying to dig up anything we could." He paused, pulling out a piece of paper. "6 months ago, a witness came forward. That put the case over the edge and we won. I found out this morning."

You scanned the paper, the woman was a victim of the same man, same situation. Reading over it, you related to every word. This woman won you the case. "So what's your reasoning behind you being an asshole the entire time I've worked with you? Even as a Lieutenant yourself, you were always an asshole to me."

Price sighs, then walks around his desk to face you. "I was angry. All these years, I've been angry. Before my promotion, when I met you, you were just a Sergeant. I watched you in the field and around the male soldiers and I felt angry. I knew you'd be a problem and I knew I'd have to deal with it."

"Then why did you invite me to join the 141?" You were confused.

"The anger only multiplied when your case came to be, I was angry at the thought you'd lose and the son of a bitch who hurt you would still be loose to hurt others. I've been angry with you all these years because I knew one of these days, I'd run the risk of losing my rank." Price took a step towards you. "I was angry at the thought of losing you."

You continued to stare at him in confusion. "What're you on about?"

"I would never be able to have you the way I want, it'd be frowned upon." Your eyes widened.

"What do you mean?" You took a step backwards as his hand cupped your face.

"You haunt me. Your smile, your eyes. The way you laugh from your chest. My dreams are littered with images of you, reminding me of what I can't have."

"Why can't you 'have me'? I'm on your squad?" You were oblivious to his insinuations, confused as could be.

"Because I could never ask you to love a man you hate."

His words shook you to your core. "I love you Y/N, I have since I found you out in that shack in the mountains abandoned by your unit. I love the way you effortlessly care for others, the way your perfume lingers in a room. As soon as I thought I had suppressed by feelings, you show up at my door with three children. Yes, they're our coworkers, but I couldn't help but see the big picture. I see the way you interact with them, the way you molded into this figure that had nothing but admiration and love. It was so different from the woman I know in the field, the woman behind the rank."

He was staring into your eyes when it all hit you.

The way you played images of him shirtless that one night you opened the door, his kind smile, his gentle eyes. The way you dreamed of him in the kitchen cooking for you.

You loved him too.

You glanced down to his lips and without another word, John pulled you into a kiss. Your lips molded into his, his kiss warm and passionate. He kissed you like he'd never get to again.

The kiss slowed down time, and all you could think of was his hands holding you tightly against him like you'd disappear if he let go.

"John..." You said as you backed away. "I love you too, I've missed you." He kissed you again before sliding his hand down to hold yours.

"Let's go home."

The ride was silent back to the compound, even as you both approached your room. Laswell left with a nod and a wink to you.

You thanked your lucky stars you listened to her.

All three boys looked up at John from the playpen, wide eyed. Gaz began to cry as John swooped him up and comforted him. "They missed you too. It was tough doing this alone."

"I'm so sorry I walked out, I should've told you then and there, stayed around."

"You're here now." You smiled up at him as he leaned in to plant yet another kiss to your lips. You giggled as you heard Gaz giggle and Soap and Ghost let out little babbles and flailed their arms in excitement. John chuckled too.

"Do you think they saw this coming?" He asked.

"Probably." You moved to go change into your pajamas, John doing the same. Coming out of his bathroom, you saw him shirtless and wearing his signature flannel pants. You took in a deep breath.

"Like the view? Cause, I'm loving mine. C'mere." John sat on the edge of his bed as his hands ran over your thighs. "Do you feel comfortable sleeping here? Or do you still want the couch?"

You thought for a moment. "Can I have one more night on the couch?"

"Whatever makes you feel at home." John smiled as he crawled back into bed, wishing you a goodnight.

You smiled back as you climbed under the blankets on the couch. As much as you wanted to sleep next to him, it was intimidating for you. You needed to muster up the courage to be that close to him like that.

For now, you were just happy you found your feelings for him and you learned how his behavior all these years was because he was fighting for your honor.

You had John back, and that's all you could ask for.

[minniiaa]

It is currently 5am and I woke up like 20 minutes ago, let's go lol

You know why I'm here, I kinda know why I'm here but that's besides the point anyways, thought of the day: Law becomes confident in their relationship and makes it exclusively Luffy's problem. Luffy thought that Law being confident about them would mean more PDA, more getting to tell their friends about the cute/hot things Law did that week, but no, Law only now doesn't push Luffy away when he kisses his cheek in public and if he asks, a proper kiss on the lips. A win is a win to Luffy though and he knows better by now than to try tearing down Law's metaphorical privacy screen in one go.

What DOES change, however, is that Law has become… insatiable when it's just the two of them. They definitely share a living space by now if you're thinking a modern au setting, which I am so that's all you're getting, and Law is a MENACE compared to before. Sure they would cuddle and Luffy was given free rein to kiss Law when and wherever in the confines of their home, but now Law's dragging Luffy into cuddling on the couch or back into bed while mumbling about 10 more minutes. Luffy thinks Law is sick when he pouts about Luffy not getting home at the time he said he would (he was 7 minutes late). While Luffy wishes he could get Law to put up with his PDA more, he's still over the moon about Law initiating intimacy more than before, makes him feel a lot more appreciated than he expected.

Now the sex. It almost scares Luffy, which has little differences to arousal for him, when Law starts being more vocal and outgoing during sex. Usually he had to fight Law on pulling his face away from pillows or teasing himself until he used his words to tell Luffy what he wanted, now Law was openly crying out for Luffy like he's reciting gospel and at the same time begging for him defile the temple Luffy worships. A week ago Law gave Luffy the dirtiest look for smacking his ass after Law refused to say Luffy's name, only calling him Mugiwara/Straw Hat out of spite, while like an hour ago Luffy found Law fingering himself while shamelessly moaning his name loud enough to hear from the doorway.

I'll be so real right now, I knocked out halfway through that last paragraph, what you see now is heavily edited because I was on some shit while half awake typing it the first time… the last one though I kept mostly original cause wtf was I on when I wrote “Now the sex.” 😭

-💫💀💫

NO BC YOU COOKED WITH THIS ONE ANON! I totally relate to the GRIPPING 5am thoughts.

I've been dying to write a one-shot with this premise, I started down this road of brainrot when I made a post about Law becoming a puppy boyfriend after years of dating Luffy and you just took it and RAN. The neurons are firing in my brain. I live for stories about them getting into relationships but one that they're already in a relationship and something changes is so fun.

I love this. Like Luffy is so used to being the one to seek out Law for affection when they're alone and Law has always given it to him, not overly so though, he always acts a little annoyed when Luffy throws himself at him or begs for cuddles when he's busy reading but he doesn't push him away. Law's just not a glutton for physical affection like him and Luffy accepts that. Law's an amazing boyfriend and it's enough for Luffy.

However, now the roles are reserved and Luffy is CONFUSED. Like don't get it twisted he is over the moon and would spend all day cuddled up with Law on the couch if he could. It's just such a drastic change, especially in bed. Luffy loves this new Law that is showing him his face and is so vocal and needy begging him for more and more until even Luffy is tired and that's saying something, it's what he's always hoped for. I think Luffy would faint from happiness if he discovered Law fingering himself and saying his name no joke.

Luffy is thrilled, albeit a bit confused and it feels so not like his Law, the one he's grown to love more than anyone in the world. He's not perfect, but he's perfect in Luffy's eyes. He wants to know why Law is suddenly so different from his normal self. Does he think he's more attractive? He looks in the mirror to see if maybe he looks different but no, he's just the same old Luffy. Maybe he just loves him more? It's great and all but why now?

I'm torn on the reasoning behind this (you should let me know your thoughts). I like the idea that Law just woke up and decided he doesn't care anymore. He knows better than anyone that life is too short and he wants to love Luffy the way that he's been wanting too deep down but he's been held back by his own insecurities even after all this time.

Maybe he had a nightmare after years of not having them and he dreams that Luffy died and there was nothing he could do. His patients are suddenly dying more than usual and Law is terrified that he's going to lose Luffy even though it's illogical. The only thing he can think to do is give him his body and soul (he already had it, but he wants to make sure Luffy knows he has it).

Whatever it is, they both like it a lot. Luffy gets all the physical affection he's ever wanted from Law and Law gets to finally be open and honest about his adoration for Luffy. They're more in love with each other than ever and everyone can see it even if Law still hasn't let up on his PDA barriers to the point they're asking if something happened. Both Law and Luffy reply "nothing" with stupid little smiles because nothing and something happened all at the same time.

Thanks for another fun ask, I love this odd anonymous brainrot sharing thing we have developed here. <3

(ps "Now the sex." is great and I would have loved to see your 5am brain chaos but the edited version is just as amazing!)

[starsandhughes]

can i request a sissy comfort blurb where she finally tells trevor the full story of why she’s with the hughes?

*third person bc i said so*

*set before sissy and trevor are dating*

y/n couldn’t hold out any longer. trevor was confused enough as it was. jack introduced her as his “not-legally-but-basically” sister, she lives with them, she’s in family photos even as kids, and they call her sissy. but quinn is also her best friend? trevor didn’t understand and he was losing his mind.

“hey, y/n?” trevor asked when you two were alone in your bedroom doing homework.

“yeah, z?”

“why don’t you ever talk about your family?”

y/n dropped her pencil and gripped the sides of her desk. she didn’t move, she didn’t blink, she barely breathed.

“oh, shit! i didn’t… i didn’t mean to… uh…” trevor stammered out when he realized how bad her reaction was.

“no, it’s okay,” y/n took a deep breath. “i’ve been wanting to tell you, it’s just heavy stuff. are you sure you want to know?”

“i don’t want to get into heavy details, so can i just give you the gist of it?”

y/n continued when he nodded, “i was an only child; i say was because they’re not my parents anymore. but when they were, they were really neglectful. i didn’t know it at the time how evident it was and that not everyone had their own hughes family to go to. but jim and ellen knew, and so they always welcomed me in. i had dinner with them almost every night, i slept over at least once a week, and i came over for breakfast even when i didn’t.

“around middle school, my parents became emotionally abusive. not physically, but it came close a few times. i was ridiculed, punished and sent to my room without food if i got below a b on an assignment or forgot to put my backpack away. i thought it was normal. luckily, they were still so neglectful or drunk all the time that they barely noticed when i would leave to go to the hughes house.”

y/n was crying as she was speaking. she said she was going to talk about the gist of it, but that goal was long gone now. trevor stood up and guided her to her own bed so he could wrap his arm around her as she spoke.

“do you want to stop?” trevor asked. y/n shook her head no and continued.

“it got worse in high school. i was in a bad place. a really, really, dark place. if quinn wasn’t there, i’m not sure i would be. i moved in with them halfway through jack and i’s freshman year after i ran away in the middle of the night. i woke everyone up banging on their front door at 2 in the morning. the police had to get involved, and to avoid too much of a case, i just moved in with the hughes’s. so when they decided to move to michigan, i came with. mom asked my parents, because legally i was still their dependent, but they didn’t give a damn. not after i left. so no, i don’t talk about my blood family. i talk about my real one. and you’re becoming apart of that now.”

y/n was full on sobbing now. trevor pulled her into his lap and rubbed her back up and down. y/n tucked her head into his neck and threw her arms around him to grip him tightly.

“i’m so sorry,” trevor whispered into her hair. “they don’t deserve you. you are too good for this world, and they shouldn’t even be apart of it. you’re a hughes in my mind. always have been, and always will be.”

“yeah?” she sniffled as she pulled away to look at him. he gave her a soft smile and wiped away some tears with his thumbs. he brushed her hair back and teasingly pinched her cheek, “yeah. you’re all hughes.”

[lovebombs4life]

the story of us - c.t.h

requested: yes! “Could you do a calum x reader, please?!

They are together since sgfg era (they met at a concert of her) and you could write their story (like timeline)”

a/n: i love this idea so so so much. i’m tweaking some of it just a bit, but i hope you enjoy it :) this took me like 2-3 days to write. i have two other requests i haven’t even started in bc i love this one so much.

cw: swearing, implications of drinking and sexual activities

———

2015

being a small artist was so exciting, but so exhausting. trying to get publicity and more recognition sucked, with a big capital S.

my life has completely changed when my manger had called me, asking if i wanted to be an opener for an uprising band, 5 Seconds of Summer. of course i immediately said yes.

i had seen them before live. they opened for one direction when they were first starting out. they were incredible, and opening for them would be such a dream. tour started next month, giving me time to catch up on all their music.

their voices were unbelievable. i remember hearing amnesia when i had been broken up with last year, and listening to it now, i no longer think of him. now all i can think of is how beautiful it sounded.

i looked into the band, searching up common stuff about them. calum’s tan skin and tattoos has drawn me in. his hair was beautiful, he was beautiful.

i couldn’t let that distract me from being professional when we met. i pushed aside those feelings, waiting for tour to start.

———

a month later

i shook with excitement as i was being driven to the first venue. i had yet to meet the boys, and to say i was nervous was an understatement.

as we pulled up to the venue, i could see thousands of girls already standing outside, waiting to get in. my stomach flipped at the sight. sure i’ve performed live before, but this was a lot more than i’ve ever played for. i shook off the nerves of performing, focusing back on my first impression with the band.

the car parked, and i stepped out, walking to the entrance of the venue. i was lead by a security guard to the large dressing rooms. the sounds of laughing and yelling were heard through the door before i walked in.

“everyone, this is y/n y/l/n, your opener. y/n, this is the band.” the security spoke to me, leaving me with everyone. they all looked at me with soft smiles. my eyes landed on calum, my breathe hitching as he watched me walk through the door.

“i’m sure you already know, but i’m luke, that’s michael there, ashton, and calum.” luke smiled brightly. they all stood up, taking turns hugging me.

“it’s great to meet you guys. it’s crazy that i’m your opener. it feels like i saw you guys opening for one direction just a week ago, but here i am opening for you this time.” i spoke, waving my hands around.

calum chuckles at my actions. i blushed, smiling at them. “we’re excited that you’re here. your music is fantastic, and we’ve already seen some posts from fans saying they can’t wait to see you live.” calum said.

“i’m glad. im incredibly nervous. how long until i’m on?” i asked, looking for a clock. “little less than an hour.” michael piped up, looking at his phone.

my eyes widened, not ready at all. “i’m gonna go warm up a bit, see you all later!” i said, walking into my own seperate dressing room.

i began my warm ups, and before i knew it, i was halfway through my set. “alright everyone, we’re gonna slow it down a bit, and i’m gonna do an acoustic cover, how’s that sound?” i spoke into my mic. the crowd went crazy.

i chuckled as i put my mic back on the stand, grabbing my guitar. “so this is one of my favorite songs actually, and it means a lot to me. it’s called everything had changed, by this super cool chick named taylor swift. if you know the words, sing along!” i announced.

i started strumming my guitar, listening to the muffled screaming through my ear pieces. i smiled as i saw calum watching me from off stage. he gave me a smile and a thumbs up. my heart fluttered.

i turned back and sung the words. i knew my face was red as it was, but if i could see myself i knew i would be bright red. calum mouthed the words as i sung, making me giggle a bit.

once i finished the song, i said my goodbyes to the crowd. i passed calum, giving him a high five. “that was fantastic!” he cheered, pulling my arm back and giving me a hug. i pressed my face to his chest, taking in his scent.

i needed something to subside this little crush that was lingering in my mind. “thanks cal! just thirty more minutes then you guys will be on stage! they’re all going crazy waiting for you.” i laughed.

he watched me as i walked away, going to my dressing room to grab a snack.

soon enough the boys were due to go on stage. i walked around to the side of the stage, watching calum as he plucked the strings on his bass. i sung along to every song, watching calum the whole time.

every so often he would turn his face towards me, watching me as i danced around and sung with him. he would laugh and shake his head slightly.

the concert went on, and i could see some fans pointing to calum as he kept looking to the side. i giggled, thinking how they’d never know he was watching me. it was such an innocent thing, but i knew we’d have to keep things professional in the end.

“alright i want everyone to scream the words to this with us! i wanna hear you loud and clear and i want to see you jump!” luke yelled.

“i just want to say before we start, this song is going to be dedicated to the most gorgeous girl ive ever met. this is ‘she looks so perfect’” calum spoke, winking at me.

i blushed madly as the crowd went wild. after the show, calum handed his bass to a stage manager, and grabbed my hand, pulling me to his dressing room.

“what are you doing to me cal? my mind is going a million miles a minute just thinking of you.” i spoke, running my hand through my hair. he chuckled.

“i know it’s all so soon, but i believe in love at first sight, y/n. you make me crazy.” he spoke, getting closer to me. he held my hips as i wrapped my arms around his neck.

“let’s just see where it all leads, yeah? let time consume us.” i spoke. he nodded, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

this was only the start.

———

2016

after tour, i kept in touch with all the boys, but especially calum. soon after tour, we started dating. just a few months ago, we moved in together, sharing an apartment.

since moving in together, we’ve had countless movie nights, date nights, nights where we’d cook with each other, sick days, and so many other things. we’d already been together for a year, but it felt like we’ve been together for years.

“y’know, i really love you.” calum spoke softly as he played with my hair. my head was resting on his bare chest, tracing his tattoos. we’d both just gotten done showering, deciding to lay down and get ready for bed.

“i really love you too cal.” i blushed, looking up at him. his sweet eyes stared down into mine, giving me a soft kiss. i put my head back down, listening to his heart beating.

———

in the morning i woke up in an empty bed, looking for cal. i shifted around, finally getting up. i grabbed a pair of calum’s boxers and a sweater before walking out of our room. i could hear the soft sound of guitar from down the hall.

as i walked into the living room, calum started humming, stopping every so often. i knew he was in the middle of writing. he looked up when he heard my soft footsteps on the floor. “hey! i wanna read you these lyrics, wanna know what you think.” he spoke. i smiled, sitting down next to him.

i grabbed his journal, reading what he wrote. “i’m not sure if i’ll bring it up to the boys any time soon..” he trailed off as i read it.

“we know we’re classic together like egyptian gold.

we love us.

it don’t matter,

be combative or be sweet cherry pie,

it don’t matter just as long as i get all you tonight.”

he hummed it as i read, squeezing my leg. “cal that’s beautiful! you’ve gotta bring this one to the boys.” i encouraged. he blushed, pulling me closer to him.

“it’s about you. doesn’t matter if we stay in or go out, just as long as i’ve got you. as long as i get to love you.” he spoke. i blushed, pushing him back against the couch. i straddled his hips, kissing him.

“why don’t you show me how much you love me?” i asked him. he smirked, grabbing my waist.

———

2018

“i can take you out, oh, oh! we can kill some time, stay home!” calum sang, watching me as i danced from the crowd. i smiled at him as he watched. he signaled for a security guard to come close, speaking to them briefly before they walked to me.

“calum says he wants to bring you up on stage, follow me please.” he spoke. i nodded and followed. once on the side of the stage, i was handed a mic.

i listened as calum spoke. “i wanted to bring out a very special girl, my wonderful girlfriend, y/n y/l/n!” he announced. i walked out on stage, waving to the crowd.

“hello! i’m going to be honest, i didn’t know calum was going to bring me up here!” i laughed. the boys were still playing. they were at the bridge in valentine, playing it slowly.

calum took his bass off and set it down gently. he walked to me, grabbing one of my hands. “y/n i’ve loved you for the past 3 years, and im forever going to love you,” he began. i turned my head in confusion.

“you’re the most wonderful person i’ve met in my life. you’re the one who inspired this song, and what feels like millions more. you’re my muse.” he continued, letting go of my hand and grabbing something in his pocket. he set his microphone down, getting on his knee.

my eyes widened. i handed my microphone off to a stage hand, turning back to calum. he held a small velvet box, opened to show a beautiful diamond ring. “will you marry me?” he yelled to me over the sound of the crowd. i nodded my head quickly, my hands over my face. i got down to his level, holding out my left hand. he slid the ring onto my finger, pulling my face in for a kiss.

tears fell from my eyes out of excitement. “i love you!” i yelled to him. “i love you!” he yelled back.

he was the one i was going to spend the rest of my life with.

———

2020

it was CALM release day. calum and i have been together for five years now, and married for a year.

our wedding was very private, but we took plenty of pictures to share with the fans. i’ve never been more proud of calum.

calum was at another interview today, and of course i was by his side the whole time. i stood off set, watching as they talked about the album. “what’s your guys’ favorite song off the new album, and why?” the host asked. they all looked at each other, thinking of their answers.

“easily mine is wildflower. y/n was a big inspiration for that song, and she even helped us write and produce some of our music. which i want to mention, her new album comes out in two months!” calum smiled at me.

after the interview, he captured me in a tight hug. “you have no idea how proud of you i am, cal.” i kissed him. “and you have no idea how proud of you i am, y/n.” he spoke as we walked to the car, leaving for the next interview already.

———

once we got home from celebrating the album, calum and i decided to relax in bed having a movie night. we decided on watching ‘juno’, one of our favorite movies.

“have you ever thought about having one?” calum asked. i looked up at him confused. “one what, cal?” i questioned.

“a baby, y/n. have you ever thought about having one?” he explained. i smiled at him. “of course i have cal, i’ve always known i’ve wanted to be a mother some day.” i watched his eyes flicker to my lips.

“what about having a baby with me?” he held on tight to me as he asked. i nodded my head. “all the time. it’s been in my mind since before we got married.”

“what do you say we make one?” he said, stroking my hair. my eyes widened. “now? shit if you’re down, let’s do it.” i laughed. he climbed on top of me, and i prepared myself for the night ahead. calum was a determined person, and i knew he’d go all night if it meant getting me pregnant.

———

a few weeks later i had woken up, feeling like absolute shit. i sprung up from the bed, running to the bathroom. while throwing up everything from my system, that moment, i knew i was pregnant. since that night i had stopped drinking alcohol and switched to decaf coffee just to be sure of no issues. calum had stopped smoking, and we could do was wait to have a positive test.

once done, i quickly scrambled to grab a pregnancy test from under the sink. i did my thing and set it on the counter, result side face down. “calum?” i yelled from the bathroom.

he hurried into the room, thinking i was hurt. “are you alright? what’s wrong?” he asked, grabbing my face, holding me close. that’s when he had seen the test on the counter.

“you really think..?” he started. i nodded my head. “i woke up with morning sickness. i know it may not mean anything but, i don’t know, ive just got a feeling.” i said. he held onto me, standing with me while we waited.

i grabbed out my phone, setting up my camera to record our reaction. i was so sure, but at the same time it could’ve been nothing.

i had taken some videos before, and they were negative, but that was me just waiting to see if it’d happen. of course, calum was with me during each, but for this one he held me tighter.

“ready?” i asked him, the video already recording. “as i can be.” he replied, smiling. i grabbed the test from the counter. “okay. one, two, three.” i spoke, flipping the test over. i studied the lines, but quickly saw two solid pink lines. i covered my mouth, showing calum. his eyes widened grabbing the test from me, looking at it for himself.

“we’re pregnant.” i stayed, watching him set the test down. he grabbed me, squeezing me tightly. “i’m gonna be a fucking dad!” he cried, kissing me.

“we’re gonna be parents!” i squeaked, tears slipping from my eyes. i grabbed my phone, ending the video. i took a picture of the test, and sent both to my family and calum’s.

we were flooded with congratulations from our families. we waked back to the room, laying with each other. we both posted the video and the picture on our social medias, announcing to the world that we’re going to have a baby.

———

nine months feels like a life time, but also so short once you have your baby. on november 8th, 2020, we had our beautiful baby boy, charlie.

calum and i spent every waking moment loving him, and loving each other. being home from the hospital was a relief, as we were able to finally have alone time from friends and family.

this was the start of our small family.

———

2022

5sos5 released just a few months ago, and charlie was soon turning two. time has flown by, but everything is absolutely perfect.

luke had brought up the idea for calum and i to make another version of ‘Older’, knowing our voices went well together. we decided to do so, and released it. the song was beautiful as it is with luke and sierra, but it felt so much more special now that calum and i had an official song together.

calum and i sat together by our fireplace, enjoying the warmth in the cold weather. we had just found I’m pregnant again, and we’re basking in the love of each other. charlie was asleep in his crib, the baby monitor close by incase he started to fuss.

calum got up, grabbing my hand to come with. he walked me to the kitchen, grabbing his phone out. he searched something up before hitting play, and propping open the refrigerator door. “you’re so cheesy. i love it.” i giggled.

he grabbed my waist, clasping one of our hands together. i rested my other hand on his shoulder. he swayed with me, just as we did for our first dance after getting married.

he kissed the top of my head, holding me close. “you’re so perfect, y/n. i’m so in love with you.” he spoke softly.

“i’m so in love with you cal. you were meant just for me.” i spoke, pressing my lips to his.

“as forever comes closer,

hope the world will spin slower,

i don’t want to get older.

i don’t want to get older.”

[djservo]

not only did you beat me but i am horrifically late.. how embarrassing for me! however(!), i have finally made it to ask you the oh so important question: how much chocolate did you eat over the easter weekend? do you get a long weekend in the us? oh and i guess how did your march reading go? any spring time specific reads or other things you’re looking forward to?

FEELS GOOD TO WIN ONE!!!! 😪👏 tbh I'm not that big on sweets + easter treats especially seem like overload to me BUT I've been rationing a bag of cadbury mini eggs for the past week and it's been a delight in my day!!! pep in my step!! my work gave us friday off + IIRC they do the same in schools too? but I also took off thursday bc I was going to a wedding with friends so extra long weekend praise be 🏝️ oh yes and the reading part!!

Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison

I think I was halfway thru this during our last round-up and I already knew it was gonna be my fav Morrison thus far but Wowwwwwowow an already gripping story and then the final third just smacks ya outta nowhere and floors you!!! which is wild because I was already completely into it when things were unraveling in the way of slice of life / reckoning with family history and curses - such a fleshed out setting and cast of characters - but then it twists into this epic adventure at the very last second and it's just crazy how something already so layered can get even dizzier, and how complete it still feels! not overdone or rushed at all, just complete magic!!

Of Death. Minimal Odes by Hilda Hilst

there's just somethin about Hilda!!! perfect balance between bare bones simplicity + profundity to me - maybe it's striking because of how simple it is, or conversely reads as straightforward (a minimal ode if U will) because it's as if she's speaking truths that could only be articulated in a surreal way. WHO KNOWS !!! similar to my experience with With My Dog Eyes I was left with this certain ennui where it seemed like something didnt click immediately but then ofc I thought about specific lines for days and weeks after + craving more of her writing. a slow burn of affection! and the translation is so beautiful!! got me thinking about how a translator isn't ever Just translating, but also has to wear the hat of the author they're translating which is so beautifully layered to me + I have so much respect for it as an art itself

Girls to the Front by Sara Marcus

I was excited for this bc riot grrrl is interwoven in so many things/people I admire but it fell pretty flat. didn't care for Marcus's uneven prose throughout which felt peppered in as an afterthought + it was clear which topics/bands/figures Marcus favored in how much more attention + depth she gave them, which maybe is inevitable when you're personally connected to a subculture but I feel like if you're describing a book as "an epic, definitive history" of a movement, you shouldn't be so blatantly biased? it's also kinda funny in an ironic way how she condenses the experience of queer women and WOC feeling left out in a matter of like. 4 pages total. then goes back to essentially a Kathleen Hanna love fest (whomst I also love!!! but that's not what this book should've been!!) then again, I don't expect a white woman to sufficiently examine and/or encapsulate the intricacies of intersectionality so whatevz . flopperoni

Assata by Assata Shakur

I've had a copy of this for yearssss but I'm kinda glad I waited til now because it made me think so much of Leila Khaled's memoir at parts in their undying loyalty to the cause and unashamed criticism of the radical groups they longed to be apart of - in this case, the BPP and its gendered hierarchy - and it's just nice to be able to have this bridge between revolutionaries + revolutions, the embodiment of fighting the same struggle / no one being free until everyone's free. powerful and unflinching yet completely grounded and lucid in reflection - no detail felt out of place and no indictment felt gratuitous. completely demoralizing at parts (as if the american justice system could seem any more like a joke) and particularly bleak to see how relevant so much of this feels decades later (but also unsurprising when you think about america's enactment + sustaining of brutality as a well-oiled machine, the very core of its existence). just all around special and profound

for april I planned to read some short story collections but already I feel myself straying + craving something juicier so I may just let this be another wildcard month as far as ~theme goes like sorry but the heart wants what it wants and in this case it's bret easton ellis seediness!! happy spring!!!

[godunlap]

wild card— talk about anything you want that you haven’t been asked about

the way you're such a genius for this bc i have the PERFECT topic i've been stewing on for literal weeks !! okay so there's a lot to unpack with cate & indira's relationship which i'm constantly doing but another dynamic that had a big impact on cate after leaving home was professor brink. almost as much as shetty, definitely not in the same way. he made his attempts at pulling cate under his wing once she was brought into the inner - circle of secrecy — but she formed longstanding [negative] opinions of him early on.

( FIRST IMPRESSIONS ) :

⑴ when cate was first introduced to brink, she was reminded what it was like to feel small again. trying to introduce herself, he barked at her to speak up - by the end of that initial meeting he'd coined for her the nickname 'little bird' which he used & she loathed until his death. it was all in the small things with him. the way he'd ruffle her hair or ignore her in a larger group. eventually, every time she saw him coming she found herself wanting to sink into the floor. very much -

[ FURTHER OBSERVATION ] :

⑵ as cate's reflection continued, there was only one aspect of brink that she couldn't shake, & that was the majority of people's reactions to & opinions of him. the innate respect he inspired, how loyalty was almost a given. more than indira even, brink knew how to reel people in. a skill cate knew she needed to give a convincing performance of a halfway normal girl once she arrived at god u. with that understanding, she finally allowed herself to take in his advice & lessons without immediate resistance. she adopted several bad habits of his, ways to give oil - slicked handshakes & spin a daedal web of lies. the dynamic became more so -

he basically encouraged the worst in her, where indira was still trying to teach cate how to 'normally' fit in. while cate eventually found her own balance (often keeping the darker parts of herself locked up tight) these differing approaches to her social training left a complex & self - opposing mess in its wake. cate had learned the ins & outs of contrasting forms of manipulation. with brink, it was the control of fear & respect, garnered by the imposition of his own 'larger-than-life' image of himself. whereas indira knew how to coax people gently, slowly pulling them onto her side until their loyalty was as sure as anyone else's.

( GOD - U ) :

⑶ upon the finality of cate's new persona, brink had slowly discovered the method to her self - reconstruction. how she took the pieces she liked of those around her & threw away the rest. as he sat with it, he came to the conclusion that he was not a fan. from then on he wrote her off as an unworthy student & prospect for the school of crimefighting. while indira & cate decided on her change of major due to health concerns, brink was in the dean's ear the whole time, urging it on.

brink also made a point of fussing over andre, jordan, & luke with a ridiculous amount of enthusiasm whenever she was around, making sure she felt as as invisible as ever, an attempt to convince her of her own irrelevance, like he never gave her the time of day at all. & in his show of omitting, she is thrust further into her need to be acknowledged -

at the point of brink's death, they are still very much in this place, never having found any further common ground. while cate is not overtly happy with his demise, she does note mild relief. more than that, her first thought upon hearing the news, hearing that it was luke, is : ❝ he probably deserved it. ❞ what she doesn't allow herself to acknowledge is that if he deserved it, does it not track that she would as well?

[magicalmischel]

Hiiii!! For the WIP game: please tell me about Layers of Dusk and also obviously Suddenly Flames Everywhere 👀👀 And also the trans!Merlin fic if you're up for it because I know you've been working on that one lately and I'm VERY curious about it 👀👀👀😘

hiiii! 💖 thanks for asking about all of them!! 😂💖 I'll give you the summaries and snippets!

Layers of Dusk

this one is so "old" that I even made a fic cover for it to post on fanfiction.net but obviously that never happened 😂 also my draft included very bad fanart so maybe when i get back to this wip I could make better art now that I have more practice <3

summary:

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Arthur is dying and Merlin is left with no choice but to take his soul into his body and hope that they both last long enough to perform a necromancy spell. This requires sacrifices, and Merlin will have to learn that sometimes, going too far is not worth it.

I remember I stopped bc I got stuck on a scene with Gaius (or was it Gwen??) one day and I just never continued. I also wasn't sure about the fic's message, bc I felt like it should have a sad ending so that Merlin learns a lesson but also at the same time I really wanted to write a happy ending and I just didn't know what to do basically 😂

snippet:

“O drakon! E male so ftengometta! Tesd’hup’anankes!” The words echo through the silent woods and through Merlin’s mind like a steady, painful reminder of what had happened. He keeps holding onto Arthur -- both his body and his consciousness -- and he finds himself almost unaware of his surroundings, as if trapped in a daze of realization that he was indeed holding Arthur’s dead body. He didn’t dare look down at him. He couldn’t. But he took Arthur’s hand and entwined their fingers, willing himself to believe that the dragon would have a solution. Something difficult, no doubt, but very possible that would fix all this. Merlin didn’t care about the consequences. Oh god. Oh. Arthur’s hand was cold.

oh look a classic case of switching tenses halfway through a scene lmao

Suddenly Flames Everywhere

ajksfljals this fic 😭 the idea was born in summer of 2022, and I wrote the first scene then. Then it lay forgotten until I picked it up for acbb 2023 and I spent the entire summer working on it every single day, I wrote the first draft in a month, then started rewriting the whole thing and that's where I got stuck ;-; I'm "working" now on scene 18 out of 33, so I'm around in the middle of it.

summary:

It all starts with a deal. Arthur will capture the last of the dragons, and in exchange, Uther will give him more time to search for his soulmate. He won’t have to marry princess Elena when she arrives in a few days. Little does Arthur know that the dragon he shoots down is actually a young dragon-man called Merlin, and more importantly — his soulmate. It only gets more complicated from there.

and a snippet:

Only it wasn’t a dragon at all. It looked like a man. Arthur’s eyes widened, his grip on the crossbow faltering. The creature had two large, featherless, dark grey wings, and a long tail. No doubt that it wasn’t human. But it also had a human head. And human hair. Human legs, arms, even human clothes. “That’s no dragon,” he hissed. “It’s Dragonfolk,” Sir Kay whispered back, his crossbow still aimed firmly upwards. “They serve the dragons. Live like animals in small groups. Just as dangerous as the foul beasts themselves, I assure you.”

trans!merlin fic

yep this is the one I'm working on now 💖 Honestly it wasn't going to be published at first, I just had a dream where I was trans!merlin three months ago and woke up inspired and bc I was in the middle of a writer's block, I was very excited about it and wrote the whole first draft in one day. Then I forgot about it for several weeks, then I edited it, hated it, left it alone again, and I re-edited it about three weeks ago and decided I should maybe try to post it, so I reached out and found a few sensitivity readers who gave me some notes and now I'm adding scenes and editing the whole thing again 💖

it doesn't really have a big plot or anything unlike my other wips, the summary basically is just this:

In the medieval world where there are no lgbt resources or language to talk about lgbt topics, this fic depicts Merlin’s journey from realising he’s trans, to coming out to Arthur, and transitioning with the help of magic.

not gonna provide a snippet for this one just yet, but hopefully it should be posted within like . . . a month or two? Depending on how much I procrastinate lmao

thanks so much for asking again! 🥰 and sorry for replying with so much text, you know I talk a lot 😂

[hanakoyangi]

i spent so long being angry at how poorly they managed my layoff that it took like. a full twelve hours for the bleakness to set in. i cried about it for a little bit immediately after but then i just moved into anger and immediate distraction mode

but like. i don’t have a fucking job anymore. fuck.

throwing a read more here bc this is going to be a lot.

right when everything was coming up hana, too. i had solid plans and ideas about moving to seattle, i am finally out of my abusive situation in arizona, i actually started feeling hopeful and optimistic about my future, and then BAM. they just ripped it all out from under me because they spent too much money on a corporate acquisition and they’re scared they’re gonna lose money and it’s an easy way to “find revenue” or whatever if you lay people off.

never mind the fact that they cut my writing team to a literal eighth of what it was a year ago, never mind the fact that they never gave us code access for guides or reviews or anything else to give us any amount of success. all they did was tell me how bad the site was doing and then shoot down every idea i had to fix it. sharing articles on social “wasn’t a good strategy,” focusing on news “won’t get eyes,” and prerelease reviews “aren’t guaranteed traffic” but sure, firing your whole editorial team to save a few grand is a great way to drive traffic, i’m sure of it

hey wow i guess i’m still a little angry. but like. fuck, come on. i literally requested the week after next off to figure out moving stuff. i had talked to every single one of the higher ups about this whole situation so they KNEW i was in the middle of a big move. and then to call me in, completely innocuously (and halfway through the workday once i had already cleared the edit queue), to tell me i don’t have a job any more literally three days after i turned in a five year strategy plan that the executives apparently “loved” is fucking infuriating. it’s inhuman. i literally signed up for health insurance with these people like, yesterday.

things were looking so great. i was so fucking hopeful and happy. i was going to see a doctor again. i was going to move to seattle in like a month. i was going to finally make these big moves i have been trying to make for so long and then it all just gets taken away like that. i’m hoping this won’t throw a wrench in those big moves but i just don’t see how it doesn’t.

fuck.

[captainmarsupial]

once again, i fail at this blog.

IT'S MID SEPTEMBER!

it's just now occurring to me that fall is in like, a week. which means i get to listen to stuff like phoebe bridgers & death cab for cutie & kyuhyun's "fall, once again" album & that one dj snake song about the end of summer. <3 i know it's gonna be hot for the next five weeks anyway, but i'm still in a good mood about it. the sun sets earlier & the mornings are a little colder! and i'm just about in the mood for warmer scents and using my oven!

summer was good. i guess i haven't updated since the first of july?! my week off kind of sucked since i was at home & there was a pretty vicious heatwave, but we got a new couch and it's such an upgrade from our old one. i went on a cousins trip to san diego which i would say was...overall successful, but i definitely learned who i would not travel with again. hahahah. but that's maybe not a story for the public blog. other than that, july was pretty laid back. i saw a soccer game with kristen & honor, celebrated john's bday, hosted a knitting night with tram & minnette & a new friend jenn... also ate hella bad & barely worked out, but that's ok. lol

august was buuuusy. went to outsidelands after swearing i'd retire, also went to a jazz festival (which was so much more lowkey), had a catch-up dinner with susan, took a yarn spinning class!, & had like a billion different birthday celebrations:

-dinner with toni at this popup thing her cousin was hosting. it was my first time doing one of those tasting menu type dinners & it felt hella fancy. there were some things we were confused on how to eat, & also there were ribs on the menu but we didn't know if we could use our hands?! LOL. i ended up using mine bc it was supposed to be a filipino fusion menu, & we use our HANDS! i also got a birthday shot on the house, &they gave me a fat ass shot of hennessy. -lunch with noel & josh! we got japanese curry, &then we went to the mall bc noel was buying a very expensive watch. i was already planning on buying myself a very expensive bag which is why i tagged along. my wallet was crying, but it was worth it & it was fun to hang out with the guys. :] -dinner with siblings & toni & everyone's SOs! we got kbbq. i was banned from helping plan this dinner because im the micromanager friend :[ embarrassing. but it was so awesome, they got me a cake that was covered in kyuhyun cake toppers bahah. &the restaurant staff wheeled it out which was definitely embarrassing but it's ok. -house party! not really. it was only like ten of us, but we did barbecue &drink hella &play beer pong &sing karaoke for the rest of the night. we cleaned up the yard & busted out all the seating and the umbrella, and had party favorites (filipino bbq + lumpia + little caesars LOL). oh & we even played GUITAR HERO! honestly, it was pretty healing. it was like all the best parts of family parties &no aunties there to call us fat or ask us why we weren't dating or going to med school. hahahah -dinner with parents! honestly, i've been too busy to go home and i feel super bad about it. so we met halfway and got sushi &did some shopping after. it made me happy, but i should definitely try & go back home sometime this month...

annndd now it's september!

i started playing tennis (technically again, but i haven't played since high school) & it's been a ton of fun. im so bad at sports, but i've definitely been getting the hang of it, which is shocking. i guess the only thing is im worried about getting injured so i tend not to go super hard. which i guess is fine, at my grown ass age lmao. but i do try and cross-train by doing cardio &strength training at the gym. i think it's helping more than i thought it would.

choir also started back up again! i was playing tennis last week with tram and rj and josh, & they were joking that i have the extracurricular schedule of a high school student. the only thing about choir is we're preparing for the christmas concert, so im already hearing christmas music this month. i've always been good about not listening to any christmas music until after thanksgiving, but not since i started singing in choir again. BAAHH. but im pretty excited for this concert because the repertoire isn't as challenging as last year's.

this week niki came & stayed for a few days since she was attending a conference in the area. it was actually rly fun to have a sleepover vibe going on, even if we did all sleep in separate rooms at the end of the evening LOL. we had a yummy dinner of korean corn dogs on her first night, &just caught up with...life. i haven't seen her in a couple of months since helping her move, &i worry about her sometimes bc i know she's going thru some life stresses.. so it was good to catch up, &have some reassurance that she's ok. on thursday night we were all busy, so we didn't see each other until the end of the evening, but on friday we spent the afternoon in the backyard drinking some vietnamese dessert drinks &playing genius star &cracking jokes. it was a nice start to the weekend. :]

i actually saw her yesterday too to check out her new place! she & meredith are living with a couple minnesotan friends now that i got to meet back in march. marissa came too so it was basically a mini reunion. we had a super yummy home cooked dinner & then talked shit about crappy guys at work & then played this game called in cahoots. i ended up going home first since i live the farthest :[ buut it was so nice to be all together again. i think march was the last time.. TT i've seen the rest of them on separate occasions since then, but being together as a group just hits different. sam & emily are so nice too :')) they live so far away, but hopefully i'll see them again soon.

next week im going camping! my sister was supposed to come, but she texted me today that she has covid :[ grrr. i should definitely be more careful since a lot of people i know have been getting it.. i slacked off on masking at work for sure, but people there sound hella nasty right now. so i packed a mask in my bag lol. anyway, camping should be fun. im excited to hike and cook! i started watching the kvar show spring camp today, &it really got me excited to camp. granted my gear is not that nice compared to theirs LOL. but still.

im hoping it won't be super hot at camping, especially now that the nights are cooling down significantly. i guess as long as we get the outdoor activities out of the way early, & then spend the rest of the day in the shade it should be fine. ahhhh...im excited :]

anyway, i guess ill go do some duolingo &then go to sleep.

[winryrockbellwannabe]

AJ my beloved <3 how have you been? I don't get to see nearly enough of you on my dash :" I love love love your ghibli challenge, it's so calming and comforting and it always brings a smile to my face <3 and it's so characteristically youuu!!! (when I think of you I automatically envision Kiki xD) and now you're already halfway through the challenge omg! time goes so fast 😩

this ask is kinda overdue atp, we haven't spoken in a while and i just missed you too much T-T so hi 🥺💗 have you been eating well and staying hydrated? I hope youve been taking good care of yourself :))

also! I just saw your bookworm post and I want to ask- 43 and 44! honestly I love listening to you talk about books and media in gen and your tsh rants are 🤌🤌 I'll bombard you with more numbers soon xD

sending in lots of love and hugs, specifically the ponyo kind 💕🫂 love youuu<3

MEG!! hiii, i missed you!! 🥺 <333

(sorry, i also took ages answering this, chaotic couple of weeks)

I've been okay, kinda overwhelmed rn bc ✨exams✨, which also means my bachelor's is almost over???? *panics a little bit*

I'm so glad you liked my ghibli challenge, i was needing a pick me up for the last weeks of classes and i think it was great for it. And i was definitely inspired by your takami challenge! It was so cute, and it really made me want to watch the series so I could understand all the references!!!

(Im so honored to be associated with kiki in your brain, meanwhile I can't watch ponyo rn without thinking of you💞)

Also, dw about the ask being "overdue", honestly you've been hella busy, so don't worry about it - I've been happy just watching from "a far" rooting for you and being super proud!!!💗

Also, you sound like my mom ahahah, yes I've been eating enough. Drinking water too, since my sister got me the cutest water bottle with little daisies in it, it's adorable.

Lastly, ahhhk, I'm honored you like my media rants, most of the time I feel like I'm just saying gibberish ahaha

(answering the question under the break, bc this is getting too long lol)

43. Title of a book you own that's in the worst physical condition you have. Explain what happened to it. Post a picture if you want.

uuh. Currently not that many books are in terrible conditions (not like me and my sister's old harry potter novels - in one of them the cover just fell off before i even read it lmao)

I usually try to keep my book pristine, not folding pages or breaking the spine. BUT, in the Game of Thrones (fun fact, the copy wasn't even mine, it was my sister's) i was getting so frustrated with it, i was just breaking the spine off to deal with my frustration lmao

44. The book(s) whose stories have become part of your very makeup.

Ahh SO MANY. Definitely Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the universe and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. Those two are the kind of books you read in 2020/21 that make you feel so seen in those moments that you are so hopeless and alone and ahhh. they really made me feel understood in some kind of way

Pride and Prejudice and St. Clare's saga by Enid Blynton, bc of how long I've been obsessed with them. In the same way, Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.

The Poppy War and TSH just bc of the emotional damage lmaoo

And that's it!

Now, how are you??? Also, I already gave you a tiny review of you poetry on the reblogs, but gotta say it again, MEG IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! I will stalk your poetry blog once my exams end, so expect excited asks about it in like.... a month? (*sobs*)

gotta go, love youuuu 💗💗💗