#that thing happened where some of my inbox got wiped

[lnfours]

currently thinking about how lando would comfort the reader after he finds her crying on her birthday (totally not self indulgent or bc ive been crying about my birthday and how my mom called me to get upset at me and not to tell me happy birthday or anything)

:( i’m so sorry anon, i hope your day got better! also, happy birthday!! my dms are always open if you need anything!! i hope you enjoy this! ❤️❤️

cleaning out my inbox

you sat on the back deck of the house party, wiping away the tears with the back of your hand. you tried to forget what had happened, tried to not let it ruin your special day, but it was all you could think about. a sentence burned into your brain that just so happened to ruin your whole entire mood.

lando had gone around the party asking all your mutual friends where you had slipped off to. he was normally good at keeping an eye on you when you weren’t attached to the hip, but one conversation with alex and george and you had magically disappeared.

“think she’s outside, mate,” ethan said, “said something about getting a call from her mum earlier. haven’t seen her since, so good chance she’s still out there.”

lando sucked in a breath before smiling softly to his friend, “cheers, mate.”

he made his way through the sea of bodies that had somehow managed to pack themselves into max’s home. he reached the back door, heart resuming its normal rhythm as he saw you sitting on the steps. you spun to look at who was behind the door opening, letting out a sigh of relief at the sight of your curly haired boyfriend.

“baby, you okay?”

you shook your head as he joined you on the step, digging the heels of your palms into your eye sockets to keep yourself from crying even harder. he felt his heart drop, sinking to the lower step to be face to face with you.

“hey, hey, hey,” he said, pulling your hands from your face, “what’s wrong baby? what happened?”

you shook your head, “she didn’t even tell me happy birthday,” you let out a soft sob, “she just yelled, about anything she could think of.”

he frowned, reaching up and wiping the tears from your face, “i’m sorry, love.”

you were used to it by now, and lando knew how things were with your family. a rocky relationship was an understatement.

"hey," he said softly, "how about we ditch this place and go get some food?"

your eyebrows raised in question, "you mean, like... leave the party?"

he placed his cup down, smiling as he offered you his hands, "only if you want to, we don't have to."

you twisted your lips in thought, knowing that if you went back inside you'd just be putting on a fake smile to all your friends, "can we go to that place with the fancy candles?"

"we can go wherever you want, baby. it's your birthday."

and that was that, you were placing your hands in his. he helped you up from off the step and led you through the backyard, slipping out through the gate and away from the booming music in the house.

[themultifanshipper]

ok hi hello i have a little bit of a switch up ask for u 👉👈 could u mayhaps do a lil oscar thing that's just stupid cute angst where the reader is having some self esteem issues and oscar notices bc he's staying with lando in monaco after the race and them + some friends are planning on going out to what happens to be readers favorite club or bar but reader isn't feeling it. oscar immediately cancels and stays at landos n just. comfort fluffy bullshit please i beg <3

also pls flood my inbox with thots/requests bc i will be flying home from seoul tomorrow and i need shit to do on the plane pls and thank u

Made it a bit smutty at the end bc that’s what I do, yanno?

Warnings: bit of angst, lil bit of fluff, smut at the end, friends to lovers type shenanigans.

You were excited at first, going out to your favorite club, with your favourite boys, in your favourite city.

You and Oscar were staying at Lando’s flat in Monaco, excitedly getting ready to go out when everything started to go wrong, bit by bit.

Your hair wasn’t laying how you liked it and it frustrated the hell out of you. It had been fine all week and now suddenly, on the night you knew there would probably be cameras around, it was being a bitch.

Then there was the outfit. Oscar had picked it out for you, and it was truly gorgeous, but you weren’t convinced you would do it justice, especially if your damn hair was going to be a catastrophe, along with your skin that had suddenly decided to become oily as fuck.

Then there was the sight of your body as you passed the mirror. It wasn’t ugly by any stretch of the imagination, but you had eaten a big meal earlier so you felt a bit bloated, your mind exaggerating the barely-there bulge that Oscar insisted nobody (including him) would notice. But you weren’t a skinny, hairless, bronze goddess of a model, like most of the women they frequented, and you knew the media would pick you to pieces if you didn’t look perfect for the cameras.

So you started to spiral, and locked yourself in the bathroom.

You had no idea how much time passed until Oscar inevitably came knocking.

“I can’t go out Oscar!” You called out in a shaky voice.

Worried, he tried to open the door and found it locked so he knocked on the door harder.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“It’s too much for me, Osc. Everything is shit! My hair is shit, my body sucks, everyone’s gonna laugh at me because I don’t fit in with you lot” Your voice cracked as tears started clouding your vision.

Oscar started panicking slightly and he tried the door again, with no luck.

“Please open the door, I'm sure everything's fine! I don’t kno-“  he was interrupted by Lando coming around the corner.

“Mate, they’re waiting for us at the club. How long you gonna be?”

“Uhhm…” Oscar said, unhelpfully.

“I’m not going Lando!” You called through the door.

Lando lifted an eyebrow at Oscar in confusion.

“You go, we’ll catch up.”

Lando nodded and sauntered off, leaving Oscar on his own in dead silence. After a while you asked, “Is he gone?” as you got up from where you’d been sitting on the floor and approached the door to listen out for any movement.

“Yeah, please open the door now, it’s just me” Oscar said softly.

You did so and he gasped at the sight of you.

“Sweatheart, you look amazing!” He took your face in his hands, thumbs wiping away the tears “Your eyes are a bit puffy, sure, but your hair looks fine! And that bangin’ bod of yours in that? I knew it would look stunning on you!” He wrapped his arms around you and you giggled wetly into his neck.

“You’re just saying that.”

“I’m really not. You look like a wet dream come true!”

“Awww, Osc. Don’t go sappy on me.”

He laughed as the hug ended, a bit too early for your liking, and you just stood there smiling at each other like idiots.

You broke the tension with a sigh and picked your phone up to check the time.

“I don’t want to go out Osc, I’m really not feeling it tonight.”

“No problem, I’ll stay in with you”

“You don’t have to-”

“But I want to”

“Osc, you got p2, you need to go out and cele-“

He didn’t let you finish as he kissed you gently to shut you up, and when you got over your initial shock, you deepened the kiss, his hand came up to cup the back of your head and the other slid around your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss got more passionate.

You separated, eventually needing air, and panted into each other’s mouths.

“That’s better than a p2, baby. I’ve waited a long time to do that.”

“I love you, Osc”

He grinned and squeezed you tightly as he kissed your forehead “God, I love you too sweetheart.”

You were both sat on the sofa, drinking a glass of probably very expensive wine you found in Lando’s pantry, still in your fancy clothes (although fancy for Oscar meant a white shirt and black jeans), chatting about how the two of you had been dancing around each other for years.

Oscar put his empty glass down on the table. “You know, just because we’re staying in doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun” His hand wandered up your arm, to your neck, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Oh yeah? What did you have in mind then?” You asked

“Dunno” His expression remained neutral, but his voice betrayed his amusement. “We could take our clothes off and see how we go from there?”

You giggled, putting your own glass down and shuffling closer to him “Sounds like a plan.”

You all but ripped each other’s clothes off in your haste to get naked. He gently prised your legs apart as he sucked two of his fingers into his mouth, getting them wet before testing the waters and sinking one inside you.

You both groaned, you because he could reach deeper than you ever could on your own, him because you were so hot and wet and tight.

It didn’t take long to get to three fingers, stretching you out before he withdrew completely and lined himself up, rubbing his cock through your folds a few times to get it nice and wet.

When he slid into you, it felt like coming home after a long day, like this is where he belonged. He stayed like that for a minute, hips still and head in the crook of your neck, as he tried to concentrate on not coming immediately.

When he was ready, he leaned up to kiss you and mumbled “I love you, so much” against your lips, before pulling out a bit and then giving an experimental thrust, which drove you both wild. He was so thick, his cock stretching you in the most delicious way, that you whined at every movement, and his hips quickly picked up speed.

You could only cling on to him as the pleasure was almost too much, your orgasm building too fast, making you tighten around his cock as he drove it deeper and deeper into you.

You tried to convey something to him, but the only thing that came out was a pathetic whimper.

He got the message anyway, a hand slinking down to rub messy circles into your clit, sending you hurtling over the edge as your vision blacked out.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Come on my cock, fuck-” and with that he reached his own end, pumping you full of him, as he gently ground his hips into yours, bringing you down slowly, the two of you in complete bliss.

Let’s just say, after that day, Lando had to replace his now stained sofa, and he never let you both stay at his place again.

[danieyells]

Can I see Romeo's voicelines please? He's such a failguy, I need to knowwww

How dare you call him a failguy!

he is THE failguy. don't make him sound offbrand.

i love Romeo he is honestly so ridiculous like. . .you meet Romeo in the first chapter and you do NOT realize he's going to be like. . .that. . .in the Sinostra chapter. . . .

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"Hey! I'm talking to you, BB! If you've got time to wander around, you've got time to wipe the tables!"

i thoguht the pc was supposed to be doing uh background work for you at the casino. why is she cleaning tables!? go ask her to run drugs for you or something.

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Excuse me? What sane person lets their messages pile up like this!? Deal with them or I'll deal with you!"

'clean up your inbox or they will have to clean you and put you in a box'

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"Fuji... Come out, come out, wherever you are... Tch, where did he go? Why is running away the only thing he's good at!?"

"Listen up—call me Fico. That's the only name I'll respond to, understand!?"

disregard the 'Lulu' from Taiga, 'Romi-sama'/'Ro-Ro' from Leo, 'RomiRomi' from Rui. . .'Fico' is for underlings, and you are an underling!

"Come to my private office later—I've got a little proposal I think you'll want to hear.  But make sure you come alone."

"Just go! I cannot deal with this WTWUT! Wall-To-Wall Useless Trash, obviously!"

that was a long acronym!

"Time to count this month's protection fees... Not bad. I'll up this group by 2% next month. This one could go a little higher too..."

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Why does that DOF want to meet so early in the morning? If I get bags under my eyes because of this, I'm going to slit his throat."

we never learned what "DOF" stood for did we. we do know it's Hyde now, though!

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Hello? Yes, I was just eating lunch. Again?  ...Fine. Tonight? All right. Bye now."

booty call from hyde? in the middle of the day? shameless

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Have you seen Shinjo anywhere? I just asked him to organize some documents and he ran off to make copies!"

Ritsu has a line referencing this one!

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Mickey's bar? Yes, I am going again tonight, but it's only because there's nowhere else to go for a drink."

isn't there a bar in the casino. . .i guess he doesn't wanna spend time on the casino floor. also "Mickey" is Rui Mizuki, if you weren't able to figure that out haha

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"This is when the regulars usually come, so I have to sweeten the pot. I saw that HNTW out there earlier too."

i hate you and your acronyms LMAOOOO I THINK THIS IS REFERRING TO KAITO??? MAYBE??? he's the only character besides Taiga who frequents the casino that we're aware of!

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"How dare those Frostheim slugs start whispering the moment they see my face... One day they'll be groveling at my feet..."

oof. . .the frostheimers are gossiping about the collapse of his family. . .yeah i'd be mad too there bud. i'd like to think he wanted to transfer to Frostheim once he became a second year and he ended up not doing it because Frostheim was just so toxic.

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"...Looks like I'm due for a tune up soon. Keeping my posture beautiful isn't easy, no matter how much I train my core."

i assume he sees like a chiropractor or a physical therapist or something. gets his atlas adjusted. maybe don't lean over your EITS laptops lol

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"You're smelling the bedtime fragrance I bought from Kurossa earlier. He has a good eye, so I often ask him to pick things out for me."

'Kurossa' is Leo Kurosagi and his lines also reference this! I'm glad they get along so well haha I think they mesh pretty great. also the fact that Romeo gives little nicknames to people is cute. . . .

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"You want to see my Insta? I suppose that's fine, but do you even know anything about brands?"

brand ambassador romeo. . .god he probably does all sorts of dumb beauty shit on his instagram. do you think he participates in those health pyramid schemes? probably not, right, he's fairly legitimate in his business practices. . .sort of, sometimes, kind of, as long as you don't owe him money. . . .

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Fuji's pendant? Of course I haven't given up on it. He has no idea of the value of what's hanging around his neck."

neither do we! please inform us!! but on the upside that means that Romeo knows what it is, to some degree. I assume it's some rare, powerful artifact. Kaito at least knows it's important.

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"I have to drink a cup of room-temperature water, do an electric facial and a mask, apply body cream, do my neck routine... I have no free time in the morning."

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Hey! There's a hair on the ground over here! And there's dust over here! Can't you even clean something properly without me holding your hand!?"

this is directed at his underlings, not the pc(or not the pc by themself.) I also appreciate that the Japanese specifies this is one single hair he's pointing out. Somebody get this man a roomba.

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I maintain my bullets myself. You really think I'd let another man handle my crown jewels?"

handle your WHAT-- i mean anyone could've guessed you and taiga don't have a very active sex life

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"What is going on with your skin!? Do you even have a proper routine in place? Unacceptable. Your overnight skin cell turnover is suboptimal and it shows."

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"That BTH...! I was almost impressed to see him out so early until I realized he's been playing all night!!"

taiga pulling an all-nighter at his own goddamn casino lmao. . . .

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"What do you mean you don't need any more noni juice? I went out of my way to prepare it for you. Come on now, drink it."

he personally made it for you! now drink the bitter nasty health juice. don't make him feed it to you. (The fact that he made you a health dink--went out of his way to make it for you--shows that he's really starting to like you and now he's treating you like a pet.)

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Finally, some goods worth talking about. I have to ring that DOF and arrange the next event..."

so Hyde is an active participant in these auctions huh. . .are the secret missions he gives Romeo based on selling and distributing artifacts and anomalies in secret. . .?

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Money, hard work, and patience... That's the cost of true beauty. Don't think it's something you can easily imitate."

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"How about a smoke before bed? I'm joking. If I wasn't selling it, I wouldn't be touching this unhealthy garbage."

quick someone shoop the "quieres" meme with romeo HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY TELL YOU WHAT HE'S HANDLING. . .considering his line of work it could be anything but regular cigarettes or cigars. Is it weed? is it crack?? is it meth???? i find that romeo is essentially the campus dealer hilarious.

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"What? I'm on my way to the gym for a workout. ...You can join me if you're interested."

you know damn well he probably hates getting sweaty. but he's gotta keep up with his health and all so a little workout's not off the table. also you know he's wearing some fuckin. gucci leggings or some shit.

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Why are you carrying that!? What if you drop it and it breaks? I'll get one of our young guys to do it, so put it down already!"

aw he's worried about--oh no he's just worrying about you dropping his stuff.

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I won't let anyone destroy what I've built— not even my OAOF."

GOD I HOPE THEY EXPLAIN THESE ACRONYMS SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE. I assume the first word is "Own". . .the last word could be "Family" or "Followers"/"Faction" or "Feelings". . . .

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Most of humanity's problems can be solved with money. If you put that another way, without money, you don't stand a chance. That's the way the world works."

again, Taiga compared Ritsu's family to Romeo's before The Incident. Romeo lost everything he had at one point. He's afraid of ending up with nothing again. That's all. Even with the Casino, he doesn't want to lose it because it'd be losing everything he has again. Having no money means going back to 0.

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Coming here alone this time of night, haven't you made progress? Come over here, I'll evaluate your efforts."

pc's getting brave enough to go to Sinostra in the middle of the night! probably did some shady job for him too. Also the face he makes while praising you for coming to Sinostra alone late at night is a little. . . .

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"What could you possibly be afraid of? You're one of my people! Walk with your head held high or I'll step on it!"

BBY YOU CAN STEP ON HER HEAD ANYWAY. PLEASE DO IT. 👀 also you have been opted out of being one of Taiga's people I guess. You have chosen your faction. /joke

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"This year's AW collection is out... Tch. Not even a hint of taste in any of it. They'll bear this mark of shame for years."

I KNOW THIS ACRONYM! He's complaining about Autumn-Winter fashion!!! lbr romeo men's fashion is kinda boring anyway. I wonder if his family owned a fashion brand. . . .

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I don't mind the springtime in Japan. The mild weather is a bonus, but it's the transient beauty of the cherry blossoms I truly appreciate."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The new prototype is a tear bomb? A lot of anomalies don't even have eyes, is this really going to be useful?"

i mean it might be useful for the ones that have eyes. . .or for hunting down Kaito.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Shut up! It's nearly time to settle the books so I'm completely run off my feet! I don't have time to deal with you, understand!?"

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Summer is all about aquamarine... If you believe that, you're a follower. A trendsetter would know to go against the grain with a heavier jade piece."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Excuse me!? You really think I would stoop to petty theft!? This scarf and hat are UV protection!"

LMAO HE LOOKED SO SHADY THE PC GOT WORRIED

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"This? It's an original hot water blend with salt and lemon I came up with. You shouldn't be cooling your insides just because it's hot outside!"

i mean. i guess it'll technically help you sweat and cool down faster????

(between 8pm and 5am)

"The heat's finally starting to ease off. I want to take a shower, but it's nearly our peak hour..."

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"They gave us nothing but useless bottom feeders this year... I'd like to see who raised this bunch of idiots. They don't even have a grasp of basic etiquette."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I'm going to the training grounds to demonstrate sharpshooting for the first- years. It's a waste of my time, but I'm the most skilled at it."

he just wants everyone to see how good he is lolol

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The SS collections are out. What? Are you telling me you don't pay attention to Paris Fashion Week?"

(between 8pm and 5am)

"The boss won't stop whining about being hungry. Obviously I'm not going to cook. What are you all standing around for, you damn TGAs!?"

lol Romeo has his underlings feed Taiga as much as Taiga demands food of his own underlings. "please feed your father the boss before he eats one of the chancellor's cats again."

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"You look like a fat slug in those clothes. Keeping warm is important, but couldn't you at least tough it out when you're meeting me!?"

HARSH. how about you get her outfits then!!! lolol he's looking at you all bundled up and doesn't even wanna be seen with you

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Everywhere is so dry, it's unbearable. I want to go back to my room and moisturize..."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"I get aches when it's cold... I'm taking off early tonight to go drink, then I'll warm up with a low bath."

'i'm gonna put alcohol in me which will make me feel warm but actually make me colder, then get in the bath for a while' lol

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Tch... This is the most profitable time of year for us, where the hell is that BTH!?

well you see Taiga hates the cold too so he's probably in a blanket burrito. . . .

His birthday: (November 14th)

"Today is Fico's birthday, so you're dining in style. I'm not going to eat any though, so you can finish it off."

'it's my birthday, so i'm going to treat you! what? me? eat?? no, i'm on a diet!!' i am once again asking the ghouls to EAT PROPER MEALS PLEASE IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY ROMEO HAVE ONE CHEAT DAY. DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO BE CAKE.

Your birthday:

"It's your birthday? I suppose I can celebrate it for you, but you'd better be aware of how much of my precious time you're using."

he treats you better on his birthday than yours. . . .

New Years: (January 1st)

"Felice anno nuovo! This will be the year I claim Fuji's debt and his pendant!"

oh my god he does speak italian. you hear more tidbits of italian fromTaiga than him. also Kaito's pendant must be super important if that's his new years resolution. this is gonna matter in the long run isn't it.

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Hmph. I'm not familiar with this packaging. If you're giving me chocolate, you better have selected it with the utmost care!"

'this is not brand name. how dare you.'

White Day: (March 13th)

"Here. They're mimosa cookies, a special order from an upmarket confectionary in Ginza. I can't say whether your peasant tastebuds can appreciate them though."

peasant? who are you, jin? fun fact, Taiga's White Day line references this one!

"What's that expectant look on your face? Lulu was harping on about mimosas or something before. That what you want?"

so Romeo gets the cookies whether or not he plans to give you some i guess lol

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Just you try and fool me—I'll tear those rags off you and throw you in a cage. So? What do you want?"

converting your friends into human trafficking victims is the latest new prank sweeping the internet!

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Do you have face paint in your pores!? Go wash it off before you end up with hyperpigmentation!!"

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Buon Natale! Go get ready—that reindeer's around again. This year I'm going to catch it for sure!!"

he's going to auction off one of santa's reindeer. . . .

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Tch... If you don't have any business for me, I'm leaving! You're wasting my precious time!"

(13 affinity and above)

"My drink is empty. Hey! I'm talking to you! Go bring me a refill!"

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Well, look what the cat dragged in. Do I have to teach you how to maintain an adult relationship? This is your last chance, got it!?"

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG THE ADHD KICKED IN AND I GOT SUPER DISTRACTED i love Romeo so much he's so. . .silly lmao. he's a very fun character. even though i hate his acronyms. But he's also so worried about his image and his money. . .and as much as he complains I think he worries about Taiga too. And as he comes to like you more he worries about you too. It's just that strictness and maintaining control is how he feels most comfortable and how he expresses his attachments. He trusts you. So he wants you to be able to hold you to a high standard.

[mrsmikaelsxn]

ABBA Marathon

masterlist

pairing: father sirius black x daughter reader

warnings: like one curse word, tooth rotting fluff, sirius being an icon, literally just a very fun read that i hope has you smiling in your bed

summary: you meet sirius, play chess with sirius, and have an abba singing and dance party with sirius (sirius meeting his daughter post azkaban - requested by anon)

a/n: im so obsessed with this idk i wish sirius was my dad, also sorry this has been in my inbox for so long

song: waterloo - abba

Being Sirius Black's daughter was quite tiring. But also thrilling. Especially since it was your third year when he escaped Azkaban.

Your best friends are Harry, Hermione, and Ron. You couldn't have asked for better ones.

With the rumors of Sirius coming after you and Harry, people had been cold towards you because of your father, not that you could control who your father was.

Right now you were outside, taking a walk in some fresh air. Suddenly a dog comes up to you and barks once. "Why, hello there," you coo and bend down. The dog happily wags his tail and jumps onto her. "Aww, you're so cute!" 

You pet the dog, who leans into your hand. "You are very skinny," you frowned. "Follow me, I'm sure Hagrid has some food I can give you." 

As you two head down, you get near the Whomping Willow. As you pass by, the dog suddenly spins and before you could blink the dog was biting your pants, tugging you to the tree. 

"Um, excuse me, Mr. Dog, but these are new pants." You then get very close to the tree, "Er- I don't think this is a good idea," you say nervously as the branches of the tree start to move. 

The dog looks up in alert and quickly tugs you into some type of hole that they slid down into. "Ah!" The dog jumps up and pulls on your pants again. "Where are we going?"

Finally, you come into an empty abandoned room. "What is this place..."

You walk over and pick up a dusted book, blowing on the cover before putting it back down. You turn around and her eyes go wider than they've ever been. "AHH!" you scream.

"AHH!" 

"AHH!"

"SHH!"  

You cover your mouth and stare at the one and only Sirius Black.

Your father.

"What the fuck," you whisper to yourself. "Oh my Merlin, I'm too young to die! I- I haven't gotten to slap Malfoy yet, I haven't been able to prank Snape! I ha-"

"Prank Snape?" Sirius pipes up. 

"I'm going to die. Oh, Godric," you pace while frantically whispering to yourself. "I'm in the same room with Sirius Black, alone."

He frowns at being called by his name instead of Dad, which it should be.

"Relax, love, I'm not going to kill you."

You spin and face the man, "You're not?"

"No."

"Then why am I here? For giggles and a tea party?"

"One, you're about to find out. Two, I don't like tea," Sirius makes a face. 

"Huh, me neither. Now, go on, tell me why I'm in an abandoned room with an escaped convicted murderer," you cross your arms. 

"I'm not a murderer. I'm innocent, I swear."

You narrow her eyes, "How so?"

"Well, it started when I first got to Hogwarts..."

You wipe the tears from under your eyes, "That is the saddest thing I have ever heard."

Sirius waves his hand, "Now that you know what happened, you believe me right?"

"Of course!" You throw her arms around the man, who relaxes into his daughters hold. It's been a long time since he has had human contact.

"Unfortunately, I'm afraid you can't tell anyone about me just yet."

"Why?! If I tell them you're inno-"

He smiles sadly, "I'm not so sure they would believe you."

"But-" Sirius shakes his head. You sigh, "Well, are you going to be staying here?"

He nods, "I guess. It's a bit dirty though, if you ask me."

"I can fix that," you grin. He raises his eyebrows in curiosity. You takes out your wand and flick it. The room starts moving and the dust all collects together before flying out the window. The furniture vanishes and new ones appear. Pictures form on the wall and the room cleans up into a brand new, clean room.

"Wow, impressive. Thank you," Sirius says. You nod and flick your wrist again. In the blink of an eye, Sirius is freshly cleaned and looks well taken care of. His eyes almost water at your kindness. "I truly can't thank you enough."

"That's better, isn't it?" You smile proudly at your work. "Oh! You need food," you think for a moment, "I'll just bring you down daily meals."

"I can't ask you to do that, it's too much."

"It's a good thing you don't have to ask. You mentioned your friend... Remus Lupin." Sirius nods and gestures for you to continue, "He's a Professor this year... anyway, is he a..."

"A...?"

"Werewolf," you say hesitantly. 

Sirius' face goes a bit pale, "What makes you think that?"

"His boggart was a moon, and he has lots of light scars."

"Would it change your opinions about him?"

"Not at all! If anything I think it makes him even better." Sirius nods his head. "Yes... he's a werewolf?" 

He nods again, "You're a bright witch."

"Thank you," you beam. You looks at your watch, "I have about twenty minutes before my friends start looking for me. In the meantime.... Wizard's Chess?"

"Yes! Checkmate!" You jump up from your seat in excitement. "I won!"

"That's not fair! You only won because I'm rusty," Sirius crosses his arms and sinks into the couch. 

"Sure, sure. Rematch tomorrow?" you ask. 

"Rematch tomorrow," you two shake hands and you go to the exit. 

"I'll bring you some food in a little while."

"Bye, darling," he waves, watching you leave. 

A few weeks later, you were on your daily trip to see Sirius. You snuck in through the Whomping Willow, you also learned how to avoid the branches. 

"Hello?!" you shout. 

"Over here!"

You follow his voice and see him digging through a closet. "What are you looking for?"

"I- that's... a good question." He stands up and clears his throat, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"It has come to my attention that you recently made an appearance in the castle."

"Mhm."

"And you didn't inform me about it beforehand," you gives him a blank stare.

"I wanted to, but it took a while to plan and I wanted it to be a surprise," he grins with jazz hands.

"You do realize that I could have helped you in, right?"

"Yeah, but I didn't want to risk you getting in trouble," he frowns. 

"I appreciate your concern," you salute him and he does it back with a chuckle.

"What's in the bag?" He nods to the one hanging on your arm. 

"This, my furry father-"

"That was a horrible joke."

"-Is a record player!" You excitedly pull it out of the bag and place it on a table. 

"A what?"

"A record player. It plays music. Want to see?!"

"As if I would say no to music."

You reach into the bag and take out some vinyl records. "I picked ones that I think you would enjoy best. There is a supergroup that I thought you would really like. They're called ABBA. They're one of my favorites." 

You set up the record player and place one of the vinyls in. You grin at the man as you hit the play button.

"YOU CAN DANCE, YOU CAN JIVE! HAVING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE! SEE THAT GIRL, WATCH THAT SCENE! DIGGING THE DANCING QUEEN!"

You and Sirius continue to shout the lyrics into your fake microphones as you hop around the room with the song blasting. When the room was first set up by you, you placed several privacy and silencing spells, so you two didn't have to worry about anyone hearing anything.

"YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN! YOUNG AND SWEET, ONLY SEVENTEEN-"

"GIMME, GIMME, GIMME A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT! WON'T SOMEBODY HELP ME CHASE THE SHADOWS AWAY?" you sing while bouncing on the couch. 

"GIMME, GIMME, GIMME A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT! TAKE ME THROUGH THE DARKNESS TO THE BREAK OF THE DAY!" Sirius continues as he walks and dances as if he were on a stage. 

"MAMMA MIA, HERE I GO AGAIN! MY, MY, HOW CAN I RESIST YOU?"

"MAMMA MIA, DOES IT SHOW AGAIN! MY, MY, JUST HOW MUCH I'VE MISSED YOU?" 

Sirius and you hold hands as you jump together and flip your hair with matching goofy grins. 

"YES, I'VE BEEN BROKENHEARTED! BLUE SINCE THE DAY WE PARTED!"

"WHY, WHY DID I EVER LET YOU GO?"

"BUT NOW IT ISN'T TRUE! NOW EVERYTHING IS NEW!" you grab your wand to create two pairs of light up sunglasses, you toss one to Sirius and you both put them on.

"AND ALL I'VE LEARNED HAS OVERTURNED! I BEG OF YOUUU!" Sirius sings. 

"DON'T GO WASTING YOUR EMOTION! LAY ALL YOUR LOVE ON MEEEE!" you shout together. 

With a flick of your wrist, you - much to Sirius' surprise - somehow managed to have a disco ball with neon lights come from the ceiling. 

Harry, Ron, and Hermione sit in the Gryffindor common room. 

"I wonder what she's doing right now," Harry looks thoughtfully.

"She's been leaving a lot recently," comments Hermione, biting nervously on her nail.

"I hope she's okay," says Ron, "Sirius Black could be out there."

"LAST NIGHT I WAS TAKING A WALK ALONG THE RIVER, AND I SAW HIM TOGETHER WITH A YOUNG GIRL!"

"AND THE LOOK THAT HE GAVE HER MADE ME SHIVER! 'CAUSE HE ALWAYS USE TO LOOK AT ME THAT WAY!" Sirius grabs your hand and twirls you, causing you to laugh. 

"AND I THOUGHT, MAYBE I SHOULD WALK RIGHT UP TO HER AND SAY 'AH-HA-HA, IT'S A GAME HE LIKES TO PLAYYY!" you and Sirius shimmy dance to each other. 

You jump and freeze before breaking out in another dance and sing the chorus. "LOOK INTO HIS ANGELEYES, ONE LOOK AND YOU'RE HYPNOTISED! HE'LL TAKE YOUR HEART AND YOU MUST PAY THE PRICE!"

"SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS ALL THE TIME!"

"I TRY TO CAPTURE EVERY MINUTE!"

"THE FEELING IN IT, SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS ALL THE TIME!"

"DO I REALLY SEE WHAT'S IN HER MIND, EACH TIME I'M CLOSE TO KNOWING, SHE KEEPS ON GROWING!"

"SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS ALL THE TIME!"

"SOMETIMES I WISH THAT I COULD FREEZE THE PICTURE!"

"AND SAVE IT FROM THE FUNNY TRICKS OF TIME!"

Sirius and you wrap an arm around each other's waist as they sway to the music. 

"SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERSSSSS!"

Sirius then starts pretending like he's playing the guitar to the music making your giggle. 

You and Sirius fall back, panting, onto the couch. Sirius turns to you and gives you a high five. 

"Oh my Merlin! That was the most fun I had in forever!"

"Me too, kid. Thank you. I don't know the last time I felt like that."

"You're welcome," you bumps his shoulder. "Oh! And you can keep everything, I have my own."

"Really?"

"Mhm, I'll bring you more vinyls I have. We can have more singing and dancing parties like this."

"I'm looking forward to it." He looks at a watch you got him, "I think it may be time for you to head back."

You look in a mirror on the wall, "My hair is messy from flipping it."

"I can help you with it, if you want," he smiles at you. 

"Really?" He nods. "Thanks!"

Sirius gets up and grabs a brush, you turn on the couch so he is behind you as he brushes through your hair. "I'm going to try to do that braid you taught me."

"Here's a hair tie," you take one off your wrist. 

He struggles at first but manages to do a good, tight braid. "Done!" Sirius claps his hands. 

You look in the mirror, "Wow, you have a good teacher."

He shrugs, "Meh, she's alright." You slap the back of his head, "Okay, okay! Not the hair! Okay, I have the best teacher." 

You nod happily and grab your bag, "Bye, Dad."

"See you soon, y/n," he winks.

[slasherfckr]

😭😭😭 I have no idea what the hell happened to the ask in my inbox. I might have deleted it or something. I'm so sorry about that 😔 Still trying to figure out how Tumblr works tbh. I hope you like this fic though :)

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Bo Sinclair x Fem!Reader - Better than Words

"Hey Bo?" You smiled. The man fiddling around with spare car in the garage didn't bother turning towards you.

"Hm?"

"Did you think we could get Jonesy a friend?"

The mechanic stopped what he was doing and turned towards you.

"What?"

"Get Jonesy a friend. Do you think he ever gets lonely being the only dog in Ambrose? I know he usually spends his time with Vincent or Lester but I know I would be lonely if I were the only person here."

Bo shook his head.

"I don't fucking know (Y/N). Why don't you make yourself useful and hand me the wrench?" He went back to focusing on the car, holding his hand out for the tool he asked for. Without missing a beat, you went over and retrieved the wrench. It was dead silent minus the sounds of Bo working on the car for a few until you couldn't stand it anymore.

"Did you know a baby puffin is called a puffling? And it's parent can hold, like, 10 fish in its mouth at once so it can feed it's baby. But the largest amount a puffin was recorded to have carried was 62 fish at once."

"The fuck you talking about woman?"

You let out a small giggle.

"Just stating some animal facts. It's just soooo quiet. Can't stand it." You complained.

"Then why don't you go check up on Vincent or something? I think I'm done here with the car and-"

Just then the phone rang. Bo grabbed a rag from the table next to him and wiped his hands before going to answer the phone in the other room. There was really only one person it could be. Wasn't long at all before Bo was back with you and the car.

"Was Lester. Said he got some people coming out this way. Better stay here and help me instead. Vinny can wait."

You and Bo went to the main room of the work shop, waiting for the guests to arrive. As Bo sat behind the counter, reading a magazine, you couldn't help but watch as his blue eyes scanned the pages. Sweat from working on the car still beading down his face, making a few brown curls from his hair stick to his temple. You wanted him so bad. You would imagine the two of you together, bodies intertwined in his bed. Or something more tame, such as you and him going out for drinks. The only thing stopping you from confessing to him was the tiny sliver of self-doubt in the back of your mind on if he would actually feel the same about you.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw movement. You turned and there was a man and woman at the door. The man appeared to be in his 50's while the girl appeared to be around your age. Father and daughter perhaps? Either way, you smiled and greeted them as you let them in.

"Hey sorry to bother you guys. Our car broke down and we were looking to buy the parts needed to fix it up so we can get back on the road again?"

"Yeah yeah it's no problem at all. That's what we're here for, ain't it? Here, (Y/N), why don't you go show the man where he can find the parts for his car?"

You smiled at Bo as you grabbed the man's arm and lead him to the back. Except you went further than the back. You took him and led him downstairs of the garage.

"Sorry we had to go down here. Parts are kept downstairs and out of the shop itself so thieves aren't as keen to rob the place, ya know?" You kept the smile on your face as you turned on the light in the room.

"Think I should go back upstairs. Just head on up once you find the parts so we can get you guys back on the road." You waved at the man and left, locking the door behind you so he couldn't escape what was currently on its way to him.

When you got back upstairs, though, your heart sank. You were met with Bo flirting with the daughter. Her back was up against a wall as Bo hovered over her.

"You know, doll? This heat wave we hot here ain't got noth'n on you." The girl laughed and put her hand on Bo's shoulder.

"You think so? Maybe we could go somewhere more.... private so I could show you how hot I can really get? Hm?"

Despite feeling your world crumbling, you managed to hold everything together and hide it all underneath a big smile. You then coughed to get their attention. The girl and Bo split, with the girl looking down at the floor and Bo looking elsewhere but her.

"So did he find everything he needed, (Y/N)?"

"Yep." You said cheerily. "He's just waiting on you now."

Bo nodded and took the girl downstairs with him to finish off the job.

You had left while Bo worked with Vincent to take care of the mess. While they were doing their chores, Lester had come home. He surprised you with fresh ingredients from the next town over. All the stuff to make venison stew. You were delighted as you could now make a stew you had promised the boys you'd make one day. You and Lester quickly got to work on making dinner, joking and messing around while doing so but you couldn't get fully into it. You couldn't help but think back to Bo and that girl. What if he didn't kill her? What if he fucked her and ended up bringing her back here to the house? What would happen to you then? Would Bo even need your help anymore? Your heart sank further than it already was thinking at the possibilities. Lester knew something was up but before he could ask, Bo walked in.

Bo's suit was covered in blood and by the looks of it, it was his own. He immediately took a seat in the living room.

"(Y/N) could you get the goddamn medkit?"

You did as you were told. Bo ended up having a nasty gash on his left arm. Thankfully it wasn't bad enough to need stitches but you were still going to have to apply some disinfectant and bandages, which was going to be fun. Bo never handled getting disinfectant put on well. It was like taking a toddler to the doctor for a shot. You quickly sat next to Bo and pulled some bandages and the disinfectant out of the medkit.

"Gotta hold still now, okay? Don't want a repeat of last time you got hurt. Almost took my hand off" You joked.

"Damn it, (Y/N). How many times do I gotta say I'm sorr-FUCK!" Bo hissed and immediately pulled his arm away from you. "Goddamn that hurt!"

"I haven't even applied the disinfectant yet, Bo." You raised an eyebrow at him.

You pulled his arm back towards you and gently dabbed a cotton ball soaked with the disinfectant on his wound. Bo hissed again but didn't have a huge outburst like the first time.

"See? Wasn't so bad, right?" You smiled up at him from the floor.

"Yeah, whatever..." He grumbled.

"So how did this even happen, Bo?"

"Was noth'n (Y/N)."

"Doesn't seem like nothing considering....this." You gestured to his arm. Bo gave you a look which made you quickly drop the subject. "Here come on and get up. Lester and I just finished dinner. I'll grab you a bowl while Lester brings one down to Vincent."

You fixed up two bowls, one for you and the other for Bo. After a bite, Bo's face lit up.

"Holy sweet Jesus, (Y/N). You weren't kidding when you said you could make some good damm stew."

Hearing him compliment your cooking lifted your spirits up, which brought a huge smile to your face.

"Thank you, Bo."

The rest of the meal was ate in silence. Normally you'd be chatting up a storm with Bo but you haven't had a nice, home cooked meal made with fresh ingredients in so long. You just wanted to savor this moment for as long as possible.

When you both were done, you grabbed his bowl and yours and brought it over to the sink to start dishes.

"It was her."

"What?"

"That woman. In the shop. She did this." Bo gestured to his bandaged arm.

"Oh. Her loss I guess. She had an incredibly handsome guy flirting with her and she decided to attack him. Not what I would have done."

You froze when you felt hot breath come down on the back of your neck.

"Did I hear that right, (Y/N)? 'An incredibly handsome guy?' 'Not what I would have done?' So what would you have done then?" Bo leaned down so his mouth was right at your ear. You were completely frozen in place; couldn't move at all. You felt like a trapped sheep, cornered by the big bad wolf. Your face quickly grew a deep shade of red.

"I-I, uh...I would have..." Your words got caught in your throat. A deep chuckle came from behind you.

"Turn around and face me." You did as you were told. You weren't that much smaller in height than Bo but goddamn did you feel incredibly tiny in that moment. Before you could do or say anything else, you felt Bo's rough lips on yours. You kissed back and soon felt his arms around your waist before he pulled away from the kiss.

"(Y/N) you're not very subtle. I hope you know that. You didn't think I wouldn't notice you staring at me back at the shop? Could see you turning 30 different shades of red then." Bo laughed.

"But that girl..."

"Yeah so? You'd think I'd actually go after someone like that?" He rolled his eyes. "Wasn't even close to my type."

He went down by your ear again and nipped it, earning a small moan from you.

"She was way too quiet. You on the other hand..." Bo took your hand and led you out of the kitchen and up to his room.

"I want you to show me what you'd do, (Y/N). Really show me."

-------------------------------------

Ahhhh this was my first fic. I hope everyone who reads it enjoys it! Especially Sketchy-rosewitch!

[angelisgonnastartchangingurls]

jim on a monday

jim came to annie's office. he was literally in the waiting room. she looked at the little monitor and laughed. and then she took off most of her clothes and went to the door in a bra and panties. jim came in.

they fucked on her desk and couch -- no foreplay, not much anyway, just a little touching. in the moments before jim first pushed inside her -- annie was bent over her desk, palms on her calendar, panties around her thighs -- she thought about julia. what was she doing?

"you have such a great cock," she gasped.

"you're so tight," he told her.

they finished on the couch -- him inside her, annie on top, bra still on.

"dr. larry was full of it," jim said as he pulled his boxers on.

"right?" annie smiled. she was wiping jim's cum out of her pussy and thinking of julia again.

"i'd say we should do it again but i want to save some for julia," he said, a little tenderly, little hint of regret.

"good boy," annie said. and he left. she wondered if that would happen again. she hoped it wouldn't, but knew that it would.

she went to carlos's office that afternoon and wondered where to start. she started with jim.

"this is out of character for you," carlos observed. "cheating, first of all, and targeting julia, second of all."

"targeting is a loaded word," annie pointed out.

"yeah ok, sure. but are there problems between you two?"

"no," annie said.

"so it's about ryan, and julia is just collateral damage."

"is it about ryan?" annie asked.

"i think you've got a case of "is this all there is?"-itis," carlos said. "kinda common in women as they approach thirty."

"watch it," annie said. "i'm not even 28."

"okay, okay," he said. "you said you had a second thing to tell me about. maybe the cases are related."

"oh, you think so, fuckin' sherlock?" annie said.

"annie, don't be an asshole," carlos said.

she told him about ted. he raised his eyebrows a few times, but ultimately made no conclusions about it. he didn't tell her she was unethical, even though she knew she was. she wondered why.

"i also consciously exposed my bush to my dad this weekend, that's a third thing."

that made carlos laugh. "so you're a fucking mess, is what you're telling me?"

annie sighed. "yes. help me carlos. how would you fix me?"

"maybe glue your pussy shut?" he joked.

"thanks," annie said.

"honestly though do you masturbate every morning? might help keep your head clear."

"i can try that," she said. "do you do that?"

"yeah," he said.

"do you need any help?"

"our hour is up," he told her.

annie went home, and bored, prepped her asshole for sex. she told ryan "come over and fuck my ass." he appeared shortly thereafter.

as they fucked, ryan took a few pictures of his cock in her ass, and after he'd cum on her back. she asked him to send her the pictures, so he did. then he went home. annie took jim's email from her professional inbox and emailed him from her personal one. "did you give julia a good time too?" she asked, attaching a picture of ryan's cock in her asshole and another of his cum on her ass and back.

his response came a few minutes later -- pictures of his cock in julia's pussy. she still had the same fussy, trimmed bush as she had when they'd hooked up. "julia looks so hot with your cock in her," she replied. "i'm going to masturbate."

"film it for me," he replied.

annie had never recorded herself masturbating before -- she was more of a posed nude taker. she was fond of snapping shots of her tits in dressing rooms and sending them to ryan, for instance. for an hour, she experimented with lighting, and various states of undress, eventually opting for a fairly demure thin tank top and thong -- one that was small enough to show glimpses of herself here and there as she worked. she was surprised how quickly and easily she made herself cum while staring at herself in the phone screen. it felt a little conceited. she chalked it up instead to all the prep she'd done for the video, she'd been so horny the entire time. patiently, she clipped out the best 30 seconds of the video, emailed it to jim, and then fell asleep.

her dad woke her up on tuesday morning -- he had brought doughnuts and coffee. annie was out in her kitchen chatting with for a few minutes before even really remembering she was in a threadbare white tank top and a stretched out thong. trying to own her confidence, she peed with the door open and came back without the thong, chatting bottomless as she strolled to her room to grab PJ shorts. her dad had a tendency of just hanging around her apartment, which was usually fine, but annie had a slowly growing awareness that she was running late. eventually, still just chatting with him, she got naked and hopped into the shower and emerged a few moments later with a towel. he was watching as she got dressed, and annie internally mocked herself for picking a pair of pure clean white cotton panties because he was witnessing her.

[captainlilyuniverseworld]

Let's Play Pretend

A/N: Karlach really wanted to make her thoughts known and this was the result. Full length on AO3 and as always happy reading

A/N2: If you ever wanna see specific scenarios feel free to poke my inbox :) im enjoying seeing where this goes

Let's Play Pretend

Gale tugged at the sleeve of his robe once more. He used to enjoy going to parties, granted it was often because he was performing feats of magic most people could only dream of doing. But the conversation was also stimulating. 

He wasn't meant to rub elbows with Lords and Ladies. Or rather, he didn't want to. And he was really only there because-

“Gale!” 

Gale let out a soft oof and chuckled as he was enveloped in Karlach’s arms. He hugged her back. She smelled less of sulfur and the hells this time around. More like oranges and sandalwood. It’s warm, but not a burning type that might sear his skin if he’s not careful. It’s comfortable. 

Familial. 

She was happy as they let go of each other. And he admired her choice of attire. Simple, elegant and entirely her. Her dress, Gale notes, is in the Ravengard house colors. Form fitting, sleeveless but with thin straps over her shoulders and a slit up the left side to show off her toned legs. 

“Do you like it?” She does a small twist this way and that. “It was the least god-awful thing I could get them to make me. No movement in anything else ya know? What happens if we have to go into battle?”

“And what would we be fighting?” Gale asked. 

“These stuffed up tarts,” she answered. “Minus Wyll and his father.” 

“If I’d known we’d be doing that, I would have brought my quarterstaff,” Gale joked. She smiled and leaned against the wall next to him with her arms crossed over her chest.

“How ya been Gale? Feels like ages since we’ve seen each other,” she nudged his shoulder. 

“Just about a year I think,” he nodded and sipped his wine. “How have you been?” 

“Oh you know, fighting imps, killing demons…found a forge master fixed my engine right up,” she grinned and tapped her chest. “Part of the reason we're here. Wyll’s been a real friend, keeping up with me in Avernus and first thing I told him once my engine got fixed and could survive out here, we'll take a break so he can spend time with his dad.”

They both looked over and saw Wyll talking with his father. Both Ravengard’s enjoying each other's company. 

“I ain't complaining about the break either. Even got my own little private villa,” Karlach grinned. “And his dad really knows his cigars.” 

Gale smiled. “I'm glad. You deserve it Karlach. You both do.”

“So where's Fangs?” She asked. “Figured he'd be all up for a chance to rub elbows with all these stiffs.”

“He had some business to take care of. We agreed to meet here,” Gale answered. He drank more wine and scanned the room for one of the servers with another tray of glasses. 

“And things are good with you two?” She asked. 

He doesn’t miss the inquiring tone of her voice, borderline skeptical. 

“Of course, why wouldn't they be?” He asked. 

“Just, two of you, kinda sudden ya know? We all go our separate ways then Withers gets us all together and you and Astarion are living together, engaged. I mean fucking hell, am I gonna come back after another year to find out you two adopted or something?” 

Gale snorts into his wine and coughs. He quickly sets the glass on the table to keep from spilling the remainder all over himself and a few people are looking their way. Karlach usher’s him outside to one of the emptier balconies patting his back. 

She’s joking. He knows she’s joking but god’s does that still make him squirm. Marriage, even one of willing convenience is one thing. But a child? He wouldn’t even subject Tara to this kind of life let alone a child. 

She winced and checked over her shoulder to make sure they weren’t being watched by prying eyes. 

“Sorry, sorry,” she apologized. “Bad joke?” 

He coughed and took the napkin she offered to wipe his mouth, and let out a potentially strangled laugh. “Just a bit Karlach.” He patted her shoulder. “And...it just sort of happened.” He wanted his wine. 

“Alright well, how?” She asked. 

“What do you mean?” He frowned. 

“You say it just sort of happened, but you've never actually answered the question. Even then, ‘oh ya know, just one of those whirlwind things’,” she tried to imitate his voice. “‘You know Astarion, he’s never one to do things half-assed.’ ‘Just swept me off my feet…’”

“My voice is not that high,” he crossed his arms over his chest and caught the engagement ring in question on his finger. 

Gold band with ruby center. Diamond’s set on either side. It’d been enchanted, so the only way it was coming off was if Astarion wanted it off or Gale cut off his own finger. He just didn’t have the nerve. 

“It kinda is,” she replied. 

He ran a hand through his hair. “There isn’t much to tell Karlach. It really sort of just…happened. I was surprised as you were but, when he looked at, when he asked me, when he…when he told me, I suppose I got caught up in it all. Isn’t that what they say love is supposed to feel like? Like your hearts caught in a vice?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Karlach put her hand on his shoulder. 

“There you are!” 

They parted as if burned. Astarion stood in the open doorway with his hands on his hips. Red eyes flitting between Karlach and Gale. Her hand still hovered in the air from where it’d been on Gale’s shoulder.

Continue

[fandoms--fluff]

I wanted that events of the fic would take a place during season 2-3 where Caroline just become vampire, and Damon and Stefan's relationship were complicated. So, Stefan and Damon would get into a big argument. Stef leaves with hurt feelings. Elena and Caroline meets him in town and asks whats wrong. Stef is not in the mood, he snaps at them and says nothing. Then he leaves, gets ambushed and kidnapped.

Arguments

Stefan Salvatore x Damon Salvatore x Caroline Forbes

Warnings: kidnapping, mentions of blood, swearing I think

A/n: My inbox is flooded with requests, I am trying to get them all written and posted to the best of my abilities. So if you have recently requested something, don't worry, I haven't forgotten. They will get written as soon as I can!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stefan storms out of the boarding house after just having a fight with his older brother. He wipes away the glistening tears from his eyes.

This isn't how it used to be between him and Damon. When they were human, they had the best relationship. He could go to Damon about anything and his older brother would always be the one to comfort him and he knew he could rely on his big brother.

"Just think about it, everything that happened is your fault! Mother died because you were born, Katherine stayed and turned us into vampires because she saw you, you forced me to transition, and countless other things!" Damon yelled, which resulted in Stefan leaving.

All the guilt he has tried so hard to push away comes crashing back like a wave. He keeps his composure up, walks to the park in the square, and sits on one of the benches. He takes deep breaths, not wanting to have a breakdown in public.

Caroline calls Elena, telling her about the fight that had taken place and Stefan running off in the direction of town. She had been about to leave her car which was parked outside the house when her vamp hearing picked up the screaming voices and then saw Stefan leave in a hurry.

Caroline drives as quickly as she can to Elena's house, picking her up on the way deeper into the busier parts of town.

She parks by the grill, the sun setting and she and Elena jump out of the car.

After not even two minutes, they spot Stefan hunched over on a bench, leg moving up and down repeatedly.

"Stefan!" Elena calls out to the vampire.

"Oh, Elena, Caroline, hi" Stefan looks up, surprise evident on his face.

"Are you alright?" Caroline asks softly, sitting on the bench beside him. He looks over at her, confusion in his eyes. It takes Stefan a moment until he figures that she and Elena will find out about the fight and then tell him that Damon's right. It's the knowledgeable answer, considering he just got his humanity back and trying to get back into his old routine.

Not waiting another minute, Stefan gets up and quickly vamps away. He keeps running until he's out of town and just walking through the woods.

As he's passing massive trees and stepping on fallen leaves, he gets the feeling someone is following him.

He turns around, thinking it's Caroline. But he's wrong, the last thing he sees is a muscular, tall man before getting grabbed from behind and slammed against a tree repeatedly til he passes out.

Caroline and Elena sigh. "What do we do now?" Elena asks, worriedly.

"Let's just give him some space, I'll try talking to him tomorrow," Caroline says softly. Elena nods, knowing her best friend has good judgment.

They head to the grill to have dinner.

The first word that comes to Stefan's head is pain. It feels like his entire body is on fire. He opens his eyes, only to find he's trapped in a room with no windows, only a small vent, and a door with a handle that's most definitely locked.

Looking down, he sees where the pain is coming from. There are two small stakes in his hands, pinning them down to the chair's arms. Three stakes lodged into his stomach, but not too close to get his heart. And a stake in each of his thighs, by the feeling of it, they're all the way through and sticking out at the bottom of his thighs.

He lets out a small whimper of pain, hoping whoever took him couldn't hear.

The next thing he knew was someone who walked into the room, the key to the door, he assumed, in hand and a wicked smirk playing on his face.

This can't be good, Stefan thinks to himself.

It's been four days since Caroline and Elena saw Stefan in the park, and neither of them could reach him on the phone, and couldn't find him when they searched.

Caroline made the decision to go to Damon. If anyone knows where Stefan is, it's going to be him. Well, other than Katherine, but of course this is one of the only times she can be useful and she's not here.

Without knocking, she walks into the boarding house. She walks through the house til she finds the oldest Salvatore in the library, drinking bourbon.

"Ever heard of knocking, blondie?" Damon quips.

"Oh, please, you never lock the door anyways" Caroline rolls her eyes. "Anyways, I was wondering if you know where Stefan is, I haven't been able to reach him or find him for the last four days. The last time I saw him, he was on a bench in the park, and when I asked if he was okay, he just vamped away" she tells Damon.

Damon pauses his movement to bring his glass to his lips. His head tilts, and he puts his glass down, walking toward the baby vampire.

"That may have something to do with our argument that happened," Damon says, thinking about how he hasn't been at all worried about his brother, but he isn't going to show that in front of Caroline.

"I know, I heard you guys yelling before he stormed off after" Caroline crosses her arms.

"Well then, we should go start a search party," Damon says with a smirk, hiding the fact that he's extremely worried about his baby brother.

Caroline follows Damon out of the house and into his car. "He looks at her with an eyebrow raised. "What? You think I'm going to let you look for him by yourself" Caroline says.

Damon doesn't even try to fight with her on this, starting up the Camaro. He drives up, out of town. "Where are you taking us?" Caroline asks.

"Well, if you've already checked the entire town, I'm guessing you didn't go out of town?" Damon tells her. He stops the car two meters into the woods. Caroline sends another questioning look towards him.

Damon sighs, "When we were kids, and our father was drinking more than usual, I would bring Stefan into these woods, and to a cave that I found before he was born," Damon tells her, walking towards where the cave is.

"That's...really sweet of you" Caroline shocks herself by saying this.

Stefan tries his best not to cry out in pain, he's been stuck in this place for days, and the only person he's seen was a man who he still doesn't know who he is.

"I hope your brother comes to get you soon, it'll be real sad if he gets here too late and finds his baby brother dead," The man says from where he's standing in front of the teenager.

"H-how do you know my brother?" Stefan looks at him with tired eyes.

"We used to be good buds in the eighties" The man shrugs, obviously holding back information. Stefan grunts, knowing he won't be getting any more.

As Damon and Caroline near the cave, Damon stops suddenly. The movement making Caroline bump into him. "What-"

"Shhhh. Do you hear that" he whispers to the blonde.

Caroline focuses her hearing, picking up on two shallow voices. She nods her head. They turn right and start following the voices, both familiar to Damon, one his brother's and the other he just can't place.

"Oh, it seems we have company" the man whispers into Stefan's ear before taking the screwdriver in his hand and stabbing it into the teen's neck. The action causes Stefan to cry out before his eyes glaze over and he falls unconscious.

Damon and Caroline approach an old, beat down, abandon looking cabin. Just as they step up on the porch, the tall, bulky man appears in front of the two.

"Where's Stefan?" Caroline demands more than asks, fire in her eyes.

"He's not in the best shape" the man smirks, looking at Damon the entire time.

Recognition flickers in his eyes. "Jake" Damon says. "Long time, hasn't it, Damon. I've been waiting for the day to get my revenge on you, and I must say, it feels amazing. I mean you or your brother never even saw it coming, I wonder if he's okay? I'm guessing not" Jake tells, a sadistic smile on his face.

Before he can utter another word, his heart is found in Damon hand. Caroline goes into the run down cabin, he follows right after her. "So, how exactly did you know him" Caroline brakes the silence.

"We met in the eighties and blah, blah, blah, got into a battle let's say, and he wants revenge. And that's all you get to know" Damon answers her, obviously skipping on key details.

Caroline goes one way while Damon goes the other. She finds a passage leading down to a basement. She walks down the stairs and through the hall until she comes up to a door.

Looking through the small barred area of the door, she sees Stefan slumped forward in the chair.

"Oh my god, Stefan" she gasps. "Damon, get down here!" She yells as she goes into the dungeon, torture chamber room, as she likes to call it.

Damon vamps down to the basement. He freezes when he takes in his brother's appearance and what has been done to him. Quickly coming out of it, he races over, helping Caroline pull out the stakes jammed in his little brother.

Stefan's eyes start flickering open. He looks up at the two people pulling the stakes out of him. They're...saving him? His head starts to pound, quickly closing his eyes, he passes out.

"Come on, let's go," Damon tells Caroline. He picks his brother up in his arms. He's lighter than he expected.

Carrying Stefan to the Camaro reminds Damon of carrying him to bed or through the woods when he was little. He lays his little brother in the backseat.

He drives the three of them back into town, to the boarding house. During the drive, Stefan squirms around, feeling relief in his body after sitting in that chair for almost five days. Damon's eyes go to the blind spot mirror multiple times in the short drive, making sure his little brother's alright.

When they're back at the house, Damon carries his sleeping brother into the living room and lays him on the couch. Caroline sets a fire in the fireplace as he does so.

Damon stares down at his brother's relaxed face. His eyes wander down to a bright red vein on his brother's neck. Getting a closer look, he pulls down on the collar of his shirt, revealing a nasty bite. And by the looks of it, caused by a werewolf.

-

"I have a surprise for you today" Jake smiles toward Stefan.

Stefan looks behind the vampire, seeing the other man from the woods. His eyebrows knit in confusion. What's so special about a random man?

Before he could think of another question, the man came over to him. Fangs emerge from his gums and the next second, Stefan cries out in pain.

"There we go, a little spicing up" Jack chuckles. And in a second, the hybrid's head was on the ground, caused by Jack's hand slicing through his neck. "Can't have any loose ends, now can we?"

-

"Blondie," Damon says. Caroline walks over and gasps at the bite mark on Stefan's neck.

"Oh my god...what are we going to do, go to Klaus? Will he even listen or-" Caroline starts working herself up. "Calm down, I'll get this all sorted out. What I need you to do, is look after Stefan, got it?" Damon looks into her eyes.

She nods before he vamps out the door, heading to a certain Original's mansion.

Caroline sits down on the other couch, across from Stefan. She takes deep breaths, trying not to freak out.

As she's spaced off in her mind, Stefan starts twitching. He soon regains the motions to move and control his body. He opens his eyes, looking around the room he's in until his eyes land on the blond sitting across the coffee tables.

"What happened? How did I get here?" Stefan croaks out.

Caroline immediately snaps out of her thoughts. She faces the other vampire, a smile growing on her face. "You're awake! Damon and I brought you back here half an hour ago, Stef" she tells him softly.

Stefan moves to sit up, but whimpers as he does. A searing pain washes through his shoulder and across his chest and neck. Caroline vamps over beside him, putting an arm around his shoulders.

"Hey, take it easy. You've been tortured for almost a week and have a werewolf bite"

"I'm gonna die," Stefan says what he's thinking.

"No. No, you're not. Damon is out fixing this right now. We just have to wait until he gets back" Caroline says with a confident attitude. She won't let Stefan die on her watch, no way in hell.

Stefan slumps against his friend, exhausted. His head is lying against her shoulder. The fabric of the shirt she's wearing is nice and soft and feels good on his cheek.

Caroline wraps her other arm around Stefan, pulling him close in her arms. They sit there, cuddled up, as they wait for Damon to come back.

Twenty minutes later the door slams open and shut, ruining the peace and quiet.

Damon vamps into the room, a glass in hand, filled halfway with blood. Blood, she can only assume is Klaus'.

"Drink, Stef," he says in the most gentle voice Caroline has ever heard him use. He holds the glass up to the younger's lips and tilts it up.

Stefan drinks the blood until there's no more to come out. He sighs as he pulls away, feeling the pain of the bite vanish.

"You feeling better now?" Damon asks. Stefan nods his head, sitting up straighter.

Caroline unwraps her arms from him and stands, "I'll leave you guys to it" She smiles lightly before leaving the room quietly.

Stefan looks up at Damon, "How did you get Klaus to give you his blood?"

"That is something that I'll never reveal" Damon answers the younger vampire, and sits beside him.

"...I'm sorry I ruined everything" Stefan quietly says, looking down at his feet.

Damon stiffens before turning to face his brother. He places a hand on his shoulder. "I didn't mean that, you didn't ruin everything, Mom's death wasn't your fault, and I know you didn't want to be alone. I'm sorry I told you they were, Stef" Damon says softly.

Stefan looks up at him, tears in his eyes, "You mean it?"

"Of course I do. Come here" Damon pulls his baby brother into his arms, hugging him close to his chest. Stefan tightly hugs him back.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Damon asks his little brother. Stefan looks up at him, nodding "I love you too".

[moonlightdancer26]

Super stan of Snape and Remus here:

You're going to hate me for one half of my two metas, but I have two metas that do the same subject matter: "Snape doesn't deserve all the hate he gets for Remus loosing his job" and "That being said, Remus didn't deserve to loose his job and I say this as a person who's tired of people demonizing the wrong person for Remus's loss of his job'

I say Snape doesn't deserve the hatred because Remus would've lost his job anyway, Snape or no Snape. Even if Snape wasn't there Remus would've lost his job, because of the curse.

Dumbledore is the one who really deserves the hate, because he could've given the werewolf who struggles to get any form of employment a stable job-which was available! Care of magical creatures-or even History because anyone would be better than Binns. Seriously, imagine Remus as a care of magical creatures teacher-he'd be awesome at it! Or History-imagine kids actually learning and enjoying the class. For years-not just one.

Dumbledore could've and should have found another teacher for the Defense class.

Plus, Remus could very well have died or gotten injured because of the curse. Quirrell died, Lockhart got memory wiped. It's not like the other future teachers got much better-Mad Eye Moody was imprisoned, Fake Mad Eye Moody was had his soul sucked out, who knows what happened to Umbridge (I get the impression it was rather traumatic), Snape lost all his friends and basically painted a target on his back, and it seems the Carrows were tortured and imprisoned/killed.

And I say that Remus didn't deserve to loose his job because A) it was a genuinely innocent mistake-people forget things. Remus wasn't being deliberately careless or reckless. Just distracted.

B) If Remus deserves to loose his job for accidentally being dangerous so does literally every other teacher minus Binns and Snape.

C) I'm not really fond of the idea in general that someone deserves to be punished for something that could've gone really badly. No one was hurt. There should be more care to make sure that Remus takes his medicine, not kicking him out.

This has been in my inbox for a few days and I’ve been meaning to answer it but I forgot, and it’s the weekend now so I have some free time.

Anyway, I won’t respond to the first part of your ask because I think we both know I agree. The other part’s kinda where the problem starts lol

I don’t think Dumbledore is the one who deserves the hate. There were hardly any candidates for the DADA position (Snape: 🧍‍♀️) and Dumbles seemed to struggle to find one a lot of the time. And Dumbledore didn’t “knowingly put people in danger,” contrary to what others like to say. The position was not deadly in itself, the only thing he had to make sure of is that the person left before the end of the year so they would not run the risk of being harmed or killed. Dumbledore was not only grasping at straws for any potential candidates, but he also had to get someone who was competent when it came to DADA, especially after what happened with Lockhart (who was so blatantly horrible that it was plain comical). Plus, Albus was always kind to Remus when he was boy and we see that he liked and trusted him a lot when he was a professor. He even silenced Snape when he was implying Remus had something to do with Black’s entry of Hogwarts and looked sombre when Remus had to leave (“Goodbye, then, Remus,” said Dumbledore soberly). Doesn’t make sense that he would put someone innocent in danger for no reason (emphasis on “for no reason”) 🤷‍♀️

A) it was a genuinely innocent mistake-people forget things. Remus wasn't being deliberately careless or reckless. Just distracted.

I would’ve agreed with you.. if what you were saying was true. It was not an innocent mistake — some teensy accident that could’ve happened to anyone. I’m sure you’re referring to his forgetting the Wolfsbane potion, however, I think you’re forgetting that, for the entire year, Remus was well-aware of the fact that Sirius Black—who he (actually) believed was a mass-murderer who wanted to kill Harry—was an illegal Animagus and chose to keep it from Dumbles all year despite genuinely thinking Sirius could’ve killed Harry and the students and staff at Hogwarts. So sure, anon, maybe you think forgetting to take the one thing that stops you from turning into a bloodthirsty monster who could eat just about anyone is a simple mistake, but this definitely isn’t. It was a conscious decision that he made throughout the whole year, even after Sirius literally broke into the castle and stood over a teenage boy (Ron) with a 12 inch knife.

B) If Remus deserves to loose his job for accidentally being dangerous so does literally every other teacher minus Binns and Snape.

Who says they didn’t? All of the professors, including Snape tyvm, were a mess and shouldn’t have been teaching children. Hogwarts as a whole was a shitty school, but saying Remus “didn’t deserve to lose his job :((” after he damn well could’ve gotten the whole castle killed with his not telling Albus is rather ignorant.

C) I'm not really fond of the idea in general that someone deserves to be punished for something that could've gone really badly. No one was hurt. There should be more care to make sure that Remus takes his medicine, not kicking him out.

You’re entitled to your own opinion, anon. But when you work with children and forget to take the medicine that prevents you from murdering or infecting them, along with the fact that you were already endangering their lives by keeping vital information about a serial killer a secret, then I think that’s a pretty valid reason to not want that person to work there anymore (+ Dumbledore didn’t even fire Remus, he gave him the opportunity to resign himself).

[nyxlaufeyson]

for the pride month writing special, could you do one with an openly gender-fluid avenger Loki with a gender-neutral avenger reader. I haven’t thought of the exact scenario it happens, but at one point the reader (lovingly) nicknames Loki “Ruby Tuesday” (after the song by Rolling Stones). Later he asks about it and they play the song for him. After that it becomes a thing for them. Maybe Tony tries to call Loki that too but it just ends up very bad for him.

Ruby Tuesday

Oneshot Masterlist - Main Masterlist

POV: Second

Ship: Gender-Fluid!Loki x Gender-Neutral!Reader

Type: Pure fluffy fluff!

Wordcount: 1,146

TW: None

Synopsis: You call Loki a nickname which leads you to introducing them to The Rolling Stones.

A/N: Okay so like I don't know if I'm gonna get to all 30 blocks this month as planned, but I'm combining them and doing my best. Here is this one that is a request, and I hope I did it justice! This takes out one of my request blocks as well as the "Gender-Fluid Loki" block, but there is still more gender-fluid Loki to come, trust me!

To leave a request, feel free to comment anywhere or inbox me

You lay on top of the bed, scrolling through your phone while Loki sat at the vanity, doing her makeup. Loki had been using her feminine form more often lately, and you certainly weren’t complaining. 

Loki had come out as genderfluid as soon as you started dating, as they didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable with them and their identity. Of course, you didn’t care, and your love and affection for them didn’t change, no matter what form Loki took. 

Loki scoffed as she messed up her eyeliner, grabbing a makeup wipe and starting over. “Need help?” You asked, putting your phone down and propping your head up with your hands on the bed. 

“If you wouldn’t mind, yes, help would be appreciated. I would just use my magic, but I would like to learn the Midguardian style of cosmetics.” Loki said, and you smiled and got out of bed, walking over to the vanity. 

You grabbed the eyeliner she was using and tilted her chin up as you explained to her what you were doing. “What I usually do is put a piece of tape on the place I want it to go, because that makes it easier to do a straight line.” 

“However, I don’t want to go running around to try to find some tape, so I’m just going to do my best to keep it as even as possible.” You lightly placed the eyeliner under Loki’s eyelid, going outwards and winging it. You examined your work before moving onto the other eyelid, trying your best to match the first eye. 

After you finished, you capped the eyeliner, letting Loki examine herself in the mirror. “Amazing, my darling, thank you.” She said, pulling you by the shirt and kissing you on the cheek. 

You blushed as you straightened your posture, finding a kiss stain on your cheek in the mirror. “Really?” You asked, and Loki smirked. “Well how else is everyone going to know that I love you sooooo much?” She asked, and you snorted, putting the eyeliner up. 

“Well then, I’m going to go brew some tea in the kitchen. Would you like any?” Loki asked, and you shook your head. “I’m good for right now, thanks though.” 

“Bye Ruby Tuesday!” You called out as she began to leave, but she stopped and rose her eyebrow. “Ruby Tuesday?” She asked, confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Your jaw dropped, and you rose a hand to your heart in feigned offense. “The Rolling Stones? Oh. My. God. Have you never listened to Ruby Tuesday?!” Loki shook her head, and you squealed, running to the bed and grabbing your phone. 

“Okay okay- go get your tea, I’ll pull up the song. I can’t believe I’m about to introduce you to The Rolling Stones.” Loki shrugged and left to go get her tea, leaving you to pull up your music on your phone. 

~~~~~

“She would never say where she came from

Yesterday don’t matter if it’s gone”

Loki and you sat huddled up together on the bed, the volume turned up all the way on the phone as the song played. 

“While the sun is bright

Or in the darkest night”

Loki took a sip of her tea, listening to the music as she watched you sway your head. 

“No one knows, she comes and goes.”

At this point you began to sing along with the music, not being able to help yourself as the familiar beat started to pick up. 

“Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday

Who could hang a name on you?

When you change with every new day

Still, I’m gonna miss you”

Loki smiled as you sang. Your eyes were closed and you were almost louder than the music itself before you began to quiet down and let the music lead you, instead of it being the other way around. 

“Don’t question why she needs to be so free

She’ll tell you it’s the only way to be

She can’t be chained

To a life where nothing’s gained

And nothing’s lost, at such a cost”

“Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday

Who could hang a name on you?

When you change with every new day

Still, I’m gonna miss you”

You picked up a hairbrush from your nightstand, pretending it was a microphone as you continued on. 

“‘There’s no time to lose, ’ I heard her say

Catch your dreams before they slip away

Dying all the time

Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind

Ain’t life unkind?”

Loki was sure you were singing so loud the entire city would hear it, but she didn’t care if you didn’t. She’d support you even if you were the worst singer in the world, which you definitely weren't. (She had heard Thor attempt to sing one night when he was very, very drunk).

“Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday

Who could hang a name on you?

When you change with every new day

Still, I’m gonna miss you”

“Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday

Who could hang a name on you?

When you change with every new day

Still, I’m gonna miss you”

You finished off the song-Loki clapping her hands in applause-and you stood up on the bed and did a little bow. “Thank you, thank you.” 

Loki laughed and pulled you back down on the bed and into her arms, ruffling your hair. “I do like the song, and I believe it is a fitting nickname for you to call me.” Loki said, and you grinned. 

“Great, cause you’re gonna hear it a gazillion times from here on out, Ruby Tuesday.” You said, giggling as Loki gave a dramatic sigh. 

“Oh no, whatever shall I do!” She said, placing a hand to her forehead as you laid your head on her stomach, using it as a pillow. 

“I dunno, Ruby Tuesday.” 

~~~~~

Loki and you were cuddling on the couch when Tony walked in, sipping from his coffee mug. 

“Oh hey look who it is, Tunes and Ruby Tuesday.” Tony said, and your eyes widened. Tony called you ‘Tunes’ all the time, because you loved music, but he had never called Loki ‘Ruby Tuesday’ before. 

Of course, you called Loki it all the time, but that was different. It was your thing, and you were afraid of how Loki might react to Tony calling him that. 

“What did you call me?” Loki growled, standing up from his spot on the couch. “Uh- Ruby Tuesday? I just figured since Tunes calls you that all the time-” 

Loki crossed his arms, glaring at Tony. “Don’t ever call me that again.” He said, and Tony nodded. 

“Alright, understood Reindeer games.” Tony said, and although Loki frowned, he returned back to you on the couch. 

You nuzzled up to him with your nose, smirking. “I hope you don’t expect me to stop with the nickname, Ruby Tuesday.” 

Loki smiled, pulling you closer. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” 

Tag list (Sorry if you guys don't want to be tagged for the Pride stuff, please just lmk and I can remove you for the non- xreader pride stuff. Lmk if you want to be added/removed!!!): @anukulee @mischief-dream @iceeericeee

[dignitywhatdignity]

NaClYoHo 2023, Day 1 (for me)

So for reasons I will get to shortly, I'm starting my NaClYoHo a few days early. Today I'm scrubbing the tub.

I wish I had the Bissel steam cleaner @copperbadge recommended, but Home Depot doesn't carry it and there's no way otherwise I'd get it in hand by today, which is when I'd need it.

So instead I climbed in with an old toothbrush, a bottle of CLR, and a podcast app. I got about 2/3 of the way done before I had to pause to take 7yo to math class. In that time, I listened to (at 1.5 speed): the second half of a Behind the Bastards about Ted Cruz; a Gotta Be Done about the Bluey episode Sleepover; and a Deep in Bear Country about the book The Berenstain Bears and the Sitter.

When I get home (currently chilling at the poke place with my passionfruit green tea with lychee jellies), I'll finish the tub and wash the curtains and liner. Queued up: The Muppets: The Sitcom: The Podcast about the episode Too Hot to Handler, followed by a The Alarmist about the Waco Seige.

So my NaClYoHo is always a little weird. Traditionally I only do tasks on days my kids are in school, although it's not unusual for me to get one or two weekend projects done (like today) when Husband either helps or gets the kids put of my hair (and often, again like today, explicitly asks me to do said tasks).

Another thing that happens most years is that I end up temping, so my in-laws come over to watch the kids. This is the first year both kids have been in school, which should make things interesting.

Likely tonight, while I'm playing D&D, Husband will do a layer of cleaning in between rounds of PUBG, so that tomorrow, between work tasks*, I can do last-minute stuff like clean the toilets, load and run the dishwasher, or wipe up the inevitable sticky spots 7yo will leave from breakfast. Once that's done I'll have freedom to do some NaClYoHo Tasks like filing and clearing out my email inbox. I'll keep you posted.

*As to that, my temp job is always subbing for the same person. She only takes vacation during quiet times, so I'm really more on call than anything. I have to jump as soon as a task is sent to me, but there have been days where... no tasks are sent to me.

[xf-cases-solved]

Welcome to My Unhinged Project

Hello, I'm Diz, and I'm happy you've come to join me in my unhinged project that no one asked me to do!

I started watching The X-Files when I was five years old, and twenty-six years later, here we are. This used to just be a general X-Files blog, so if you're looking for the stat posts, each one will be tagged "txf cases solved" and then the relevant episode title (ex: s1e1: pilot). I'll add stats as I go, and if you have any suggestions, feel free to hit up my inbox.

Also, while most of the stats on the episode posts will be pretty self-explanatory, I wanted to show you the scale I'm working off of to determine whether or not a case has been solved. See below, and have a nice day.

SOLVED IT SCALE

Yes: Unequivocally captured the one who did the crime and the case was and/or could be prosecuted in a court of law. (If the culprit died, but could have been prosecuted if they had lived, it still counts as a yes.) Alternately, if it's determined that no actual crimes have been committed, or no arrests are even necessary, but they have an answer to the question posed by the case that they can take back to D.C. and not get yelled at, I will give it to them. A case MUST BE a solid "Yes" for me to consider it definitively solved.

Yes, but: They stopped the crime from happening and unequivocally know who the culprit was, but there is not enough evidence to prosecute in a court of law and/or the culprit is not human and therefore is not bound by human law. Or, alternately, the culprit escaped. Whupsie!

Maybe: They have a guess, but it's too impossible to prove/the episode does that thing at the end where it suggests they missed something important and then it fades to black.

No, but: They do not know who did the crime, but the crimes have stopped and/or they gathered new information to level up in their experience in the search for The Truth.

No: Yeah no, they got fuck all.

Uh-oh, mind wipe!: For some reason, they have no memory of the crime ever occurring, rendering the entire investigation moot. 

This episode is too weird to fit any of the above: This is my fail safe for if I missed something. It does what it says on the tin.

[marzgurl]

So, I made a brief post yesterday, but I'll elaborate here. I hadn't been back on tumblr in pushing two years. Maybe not quite a full two years, but I'm pretty sure I was last on here in 2020, I think? Anyway, I've currently got a browser open with only tabs for various social media platforms. I'm trying to figure out how to best use each of them, and how to do so regularly. I knew Twitter was going to get bad, but I didn't realize just how rapidly it was going to happen, or that it would come so teeteringly close to actual full-on collapse.

I think a large reason I spent so much time away from tumblr was because I'd had a lot happening from 2019 to 2022. When all the Screamy Broccoli Man stuff exploded in 2019 (don't know what I'm talking about? Probably for the best, but ask your elders), I got drastically chased around all over the Internet, on every social media platform. Any platform I was on regularly got overwhelmingly bombarded with hate speech, death and rape threats, misinformation, etc. Tumblr was one of those places. My "asks" inbox was a slew of real wingnut sycophants who got all of their information from alt-right YouTubers, thinking those were credible sources of information, and had become an army of weirdos willing to jump in front of a speeding bullet to defend some weird sex pest voice actor who doesn't even know they're alive.

Twitter was pretty bad for that, mind you. However, I'd decided to keep most of that harassment largely on one dedicated front. For all the absolute hell that has ALWAYS existed on Twitter, the one thing it was able to do was keep the losers focused in one general direction rather than multiple directions. So when I quit posting so much on tumblr, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and even Twitch for a while, they really only had one place to go. And it was there where I could block to my heart's content. Twitter never did a very good job of responding to reports of harassment. In fact, I was frequently dogpiled by people using Twitter's systems intended to protect people, in order to false flag me into lockouts and even one suspension that I had to fight my way back out of. However, people had created enough tools for me to be able to block sweeping masses of people--either people who followed my harassers, or people who liked harassing tweets. All of those could be wiped out in just a few minutes. Twitter didn't do a good job of building that into their own platform, but at least I could use the tools that other people made for Twitter to make it work for me. Finally, I seemed to have found myself in a place where it was all sort of leveling out.

And now here we are, as Twitter sort of eats itself alive, because a guy with a lot of money can't get that money to work in ways to make him like himself enough as a human being, to have enough confidence in himself to not have to turn Twitter into his own private safe space. And for that reason, I find myself with tabs open for Mastodon, Tumblr, cohost!, Instagram, and TikTok, trying to figure out how I'm going to make any of these places especially unique, and how not to completely abandon one for the other.

Instagram is fine enough, I've had it for at least nine years now (a shorter amount of time than I've had this Tumblr, if I'm not mistaken). But I just don't take a lot of pictures or video, and I struggle to know how I'm going to make it interactive or interesting in any way. It's for that same reason that I struggle to know how to regularly use TikTok. I tried for a brief burst of time and burned myself out really, really fast. Writing is just easier for me. And for that reason, I'm not really sure what to make of cohost, because cohost seems like a place that functions pretty similarly to Tumblr (with some minor differences). Am I really going to try to differentiate and diversify over there, too? I mean, maybe. A lot of people I know are headed that way, though lots of us have been sitting and waiting to get verified to post for several days now, and I'm not sure how long it'll take.

But I did notice a concerted push on Tumblr's part to try to make you know, "Hey! We're still alive! Come back! We're here!" And as far as I can tell, a lot of the people I followed over the years are actually still quite active over here. It's not nearly as dead as I had perceived it might have been.

So, we'll see how this goes. I used to use LiveJournal quite a bit back in the early '00, but that journal is long since gone. I've journaled quite a bit here in the past as well. Will I keep that up here? It's hard to say. I have a pretty big habit of saying I plan on keeping up with something, and then I just can't manage to do it. That's just the way I'm built, I guess. I'm 36, and if it hasn't changed yet, it probably never will now.

Anyway, guess I'm screwing around on Tumblr for a while now. I'll see what new things I can make of it.

[neverchecking]

The merging of the two Hyrules is a fantastic idea because it solves so many problems for both.

Like Tia's Hyrule has already gone through TotK so while they have Light Shrines, Sweetpea already used them up. But maybe some things start looking different, ruins are more numerous, Shrines reactivate (which Sweetpea kinda gets annoyed about because 152 SHRINES! HE DID THEM ALL! HE HAS THE OUTFIT TO PROVE IT!), some people start getting their counterparts' memories. Temples start causing problems again. Flickers of Gloom reappear.

So over the course of this whole kerfuffle, the two Hyrules are merging partially due to Ganon, partially due to the Big Three essentially writing off Sage's Hyrule as a failure and this is the alternative to just... wiping it out of existence.

(Also the idea of Tia's Hyrule just rolling up at the Final Battle being like "How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, Old Man?!" is hilarious to me)

Meanwhile, Sage's Hyrule gets what's essentially a reality check that puts everything into perspective. Like they were so starved for hope and stability that they just latched onto the closest thing which was Natura which just conflated everything. Then they are shown a Hyrule where things were better. Not just because of the different Princess but because Hyrule gave itself hope. They pushed themselves to protect themselves and each other. They were kinder to each other and that made all the difference.

I think people who were similar enough to their counterparts (like Cece, Beedle, Koko etc) got merged together and now have two sets of memories while people who were too different (Sweetpea and Sage) or were dead in one Hyrule and aren't in the other (The Champions) or didn't exist (Aaliyah) are still separate people.

Natura would be saved but she gets put on house arrest in the castle to make sure she doesn't start a rebellion (or is the figurehead of one) before being put into Urbosa's custody. Tia doesn't like Natura but she knows it wouldn't be healthy for her to be so close to a so-called 'better' version of herself. Natura becomes a princess only in name while Tia becomes the Queen.

Thunderhead Islands is where the merging starts to happen so everyone is getting rightfully concerned about the implications of what is going on when Sweetpea and Aaliyah are effecting the reality of Tia and Sage's location.

I can't explain how excited I get to see you in my inbox :)

I imagine after they combine the shrines like...reboot in a way? Like, surprise! Now you have to do them all over again! Good news! There are now two more people who can help you out! Bad news! There are now 152 shrines to re-find!

Ruins are certainly popping up more, but there are also a lot more flourishing! New fauna and animals are popping up that were once thought to be extinct. It's like going forward four steps only to jump back thirteen miles. Rito is freezing over once more, the marbled rock roasts are back, the Zora domain is polluted and even the Gerudo are having trouble again (I haven't finished that temple yet ;-;) Sage and Aaliyah even start getting sick again.

Which sucks because not only are they dealing with the switch, but they're dealing with Ganon and now this whole merging business. People are reporting two sets of memories, those thought dead are no longer dead, etc. etc.

The big three just writing off Sage's Hyrule is both so heartbreaking and so in character for them. If they don't like something, they just...get rid of it.

(No bc that is so funny. They're just ready to rumble and Aaliyah's own hyrule is just 'I'm sorry we have to what now?')

Natura definitely was only a symbol of hope because that was the only one they had. The champions had been picked off, one by one, the hero had been downed, she was all they had left. When offered a different alternative, they're probably a bit resistant. However, it doesn't last long since Tia's own Hryule is just >:( We ain't doing that.

Those who were prominent enough people in the journeys were probably just merged, and like you said, now have two sets of memories. Unless of course they had two incredibly different scenarios. Like Sage and Sweetpea. Or if they never existed at all. Imagine half of Hyrule is just 'Who's the Sheikah Champion?' and the other half is "How tf do you not know? Her and Link are attached at the hip."

Natura is the only bit I cannot quite place. But I like the idea of putting her on house arrest. Because if we go with the idea that she's attached to this throne that people have given her, even if her real throne has fallen. Her starting a rebellion is probably not out of the frame as some people still blame the champions. And how can they trust their own memories when their standing right there? The only thing that's remained the same is Natura. SO that's the only reason I can see people following her until she's placed with Urbosa.

Thunderhead Islands being the starting place of this all is perfect because I can only imagine a Secret stone has that kind of power. So when Aaliyah takes up her own, it reflects her own desires and wants. And her biggest want is to see Sage again. Hence the starting of the merge.

It only worsens the worry when people start being like 'Weren't you just here?" and Sage is like 'wtf do you mean?' and they're all 'You and the Sheikah Champion were just here?"

Tipping them off to the merging.

[spicycreativity]

Heyyy so I loved how happy I am to see this house once more the dialogue was perfection and it felt so much like a Percy Jackson story I can’t get enough. So anyway I know it’s the day after but I want to know like is Virgil ok after royally fucking up his arm and side and then having Remus pull it? Is Remus good or are those claw marks gonna kill him? What are all of Roman’s powers and why does he have so many while Remus has none? Does Virgil have a crush on Logan? I want more of this series like so bad

Thank you so much!!! I have a little more planned, but not much but now I'm kind of inspired to continue hehe

Virgil & Remus' Injuries:

Ngl at first I was gonna use nectar & ambrosia's magical healing properties to handwave that all away, but I did kind of nerf them with the express purpose of making injuries feel more immediately threatening and dangerous... so it actually might be more interesting if their healing properties don't work very well on old injuries 🤔 I think, in the long term: yes, Virgil & Remus are gonna be okay! But they might have some issues/pain in the short term that could be fun to explore

Roman's powers/Remus' lack thereof:

You've stumbled upon a deleted scene! Well, does it count as a deleted scene if I never wrote it? 😅 Remus was actually supposed to discover some powers over the course of the journey but I couldn't find a good way to fit it into the fic. Since it was a gift, it was supposed to be Virgil-centric and I didn't want to deviate too much

Where they are right now: Roman can heal himself via singing (he hasn't learned about thee 'via singing' part yet and thinks it's random), but it wipes him out afterward. Remus can't fo anything

Where they're gonna end up (eventually): Roman will eventually learn to control his healing powers and use them on other people. I'm also trying with the idea of having him be able to emit a concentrated light that can sorta. vaporize enemies. And a few other things that I haven't really workshopped. Remus will come into his own and discover that he has, essentially, plague powers? The scurvy conversation was meant to be foreshadowing for that; he's basically gonna be able to give enemies scurvy and have their previous wounds kill them

As to why Roman is more outwardly powerful, better-looking, more charismatic, just bigger and stronger overall, I wanted to jump off of their canon appearances and behaviors and deepen them here using Apollo as a tool to do so. I'm not into Classics but I think Apollo is a great example of the unity of "Great" and "Terrible" so I wanted to split that up into Roman (Great; healing, sunlight, music) and Remus (Terrible; illness, tragedy, despair)

So, in short, Remus is a late bloomer to make Roman look greater by comparison. In-universe, I guess it's just one of those things that happens

Virgil and Logan:

Short answer: No (unless....?)

Long answer: The person I wrote How Happy I Am for is not super into romance, which is why there wasn't any in the fic. However, I LOVE fictional romance and I really REALLY love Analogical, so I feel like it probably kinda leaked in 🙈

It'll probably make a little more sense in the narrative when I get around to writing Virgil and Logan's "getting to camp" story, too: the short version is that Virgil and Logan shared a semi-traumatic experience together and Virgil was like "great, now I'll have a friend at camp" and when they got there, Logan immediately ghosted him. That's also why Virgil was so fixated on Janus at first, thinking they were kindred spirits and good be friends bc he really didn't relate to Patton very much and was mistrustful of his intentions. And why he was so mad when Janus turned out to be kind if an asshole (affectionate) 🤣

Thank you so much for dropping by my inbox! Seriously, it really means a lot to me and I'm so glad you like my fic 💜💜💜💜💜💜

[kelyon]

TMI Tuesday

Hello, Tumblr!

This has been a crappy past couple of days in terms of getting any writing done. Between a 22-hour power outage over the weekend and a surprise 11-hour day at work on Monday, I'm a little wiped out!

It also doesn't help that I'm ever so slightly stumped on how to begin this chapter of Dark Mistress (Contention). I've got the first line: The boy didn't like her. But I'm really not sure where to take it from there. This chapter is about Bae and Belle not having a rosy relationship, and I don't have a specific scene in mind to show that. Just a lot of them tactfully avoiding each other. I run into this problem a lot, where I have an idea of the function of a chapter (what emotional state I want the characters to be in), but I don't know how to make that happen.

I'll figure it out, I always have.

In the mean time, I'm looking forward to your questions. Trade secret: I get a good deal of inspiration from knowing what my readers want to know. Even little things can shape the story in fun ways. (Shout out to the anon who asked about engagement celebrations and gave me such a good idea for the last chapter that I'm embarrassed to admit I hadn't thought of it all along.) Hopefully, I'll be able to borrow some passion from you guys and get Chapter 29 started!

Hope you're all doing well! Have a great day!

Dark Mistress is here

My inbox is here