#that they have told him in the past that they do not handle

[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: Joel struggles to fight temptation with Sarah’s bestfriend after he’s forced to share a bed with her.]

Smut dry humping 18+

He knew it was best to sleep in his jeans, at least the heavy material would do better at hiding a boner he knew he would get.

Winter vacation with the Millers was something you had been looking forward to for the past month. Sarah and you were on break from college and had been best friends since high school. The two of you always planned vacations together and this time her dad and uncle were apart of the plans. A road-trip to Colorado to stay at a cabin and go skiing, you were so excited. The ride was about twelve hours long but you loved road-trips so you were perfectly fine with the time it would take to get there.

“Everybody packed?” Joel came out putting the last few bags on the back of his truck as Sarah came out in a panic.

“Shoot! I forgot to leave my work keys at the job”

“Doesn’t someone else have em?” Joel asked confused.

“Sidney is off and I was suppose to leave them for Matt, they’ll kill me. I’m so stupid”

“Alright relax-“ Tommy came in to the recuse as he usually did.

“I gotta drive by your job anyways and pick up a couple things, we’ll stop by your job and then continue heading to Colorado”

Sarah jumped up and down in relief.

“Oh uncle Tommy, you’re a savior”

“So I’ve been told” he shrugged with a chuckle.

“So what are we doin’?” Joel asked as you stood silently waiting for a plan.

“Sarah and I will go do what we gotta do and you and her can get a head start so we don’t miss our check in at the cabin”

“You want me to go with your dad?” You attempted to whisper to Sarah as he looked over at you.

“Yeah cause remember we booked the cabin under our names so me or you need to at least be there for check in” Sarah explained. Joel tried to hide his look of disapproval. Of course it wasn’t that he didn’t want to be around you, it was more so that he knew he shouldn’t be, especially alone.

“Alright well let’s get goin’” Tommy jumped in his truck as Sarah followed while you got in the car with Joel.

The drive was slightly awkward at first, being that Joel wasn’t much of a talker. His body felt tense as he drove, sneaking a glance at you as you looked out the window. You wore a jean skirt with a plain pink top, but all he could focus on was your legs.

“Mind if I put on the radio?”

He quickly looked away the second you spoke.

“Go ahead” he couldn’t help but notice your hand with red nails reach forward. God he hoped Tommy and Sarah wouldn’t take long doing what they had to do because Joel didn’t know long he could handle being alone with you.

“So are you excited?” You asked trying to make conversation.

“Course I am, been a while since I’ve gone skiing but I’m sure I still got it in me”

“Well maybe you can teach me” you spoke innocently, yet your words lingered in the air sending a shock of pleasure down his groin. He shifted in his seat as you sighed and changed the radio station not having any clue just how aroused you were making him simply by being in his presence.

Joel tried anything to get his mind off you, singing a song in his head, thinking about the last movie he saw, hell, anything to distract his mind from wandering off, especially with you right beside him. As the hours went by it helped that you had fallen asleep. Your hands folded on your lap as you leaned toward the door, Joel couldn’t help but take a slow look at you now that he could without being caught. He’d known you for a few years now but he didn’t know what the hell changed on you once you graduated high school. A simple look couldn’t hurt he convinced himself..

Not too long after, you woke up to Joel on the phone, whatever it was, you could tell he wasn’t happy about it.

“You’re kiddin’ me right?” Joel uttered low.

“Why the hell didn’t you say somethin’ earlier?” You crossed your arms sitting up wondering what was going on as he pulled over to the side of the road.

“The hell am I suppose to do now?” He continued, a few more words were said before he slammed his phone shut.

“What happened?” You spoke in a soft voice.

“Tommy’s truck broke down”

“What? We still have hours to go, where are they?”

“They’re three hours away”

“What?” You whispered confused.

It was ten at night and you had no idea where you were or what you were supposed to do.

“So now what?”

“We get a motel for the night, they’ll meet us in the mornin’-“

“A motel?“

Joel cleared his throat looking away, obvious discomfort on his face as he tried to hide how he felt about staying at a motel with you.

“Yeah, Sarah already called the cabin. We’ll make it there tomorrow” he continued to drive as you looked at the road confused.

Luckily Joel had found a motel up the road.

As soon as he entered the lobby he was clear in asking for two separate rooms or at least a room with two beds. Of course with his luck there was only one room available with one bed.

“Jesus christ” he ran his hand through his hair in frustration. With there not being another motel for another ten miles down Joel gave in and took the key.

Unlocking the door you could see how annoyed he felt, you figured it was because of delay in the trip. Pressing his lips together he looked up at you and motioned for you to walk in before him. The first sight of the bed sitting in the middle of the room you sighed as Joel stood behind you and shut the door.

“You can take the bed” he uttered low throwing his bag to the side.

“And where are you going to sleep?”

He pointed at a wooden chair in the corner of the room making you scoff.

“Don’t be ridiculous , Mr.Miller. You need proper rest, you’ve been driving for a few hours and-“

“I’ll do just fine on that chair” he insisted “and how many times do I have to tell you to just call me Joel”.

“Well, Joel, the bed is big enough for both of us, why make things harder for yourself?” you raised a brow as you took your bag and walked to the bathroom. Joel never thought he would ever find himself in a situation like this, his mind racing with things he found harder to ignore.

After changing into your pajamas you walked out of the room yawning making Joel turn to you. Instantly taken back by what you wore, an oversized t shirt that dropped down above your knees.

“The hell are you wearin’?”

“My pajamas?” You looked at him confused, his hands on his hips as he looked flustered.

“Ain’t there somethin’ else you could wear?”

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” You tilted your head as he bit down on his bottom lip. There was no way Joel was going to be locked in a room with you just wearing an oversized shirt. You didn’t see anything wrong with it especially with how long it was.

“I’m gonna go get somethin’ from the truck” he uttered under his breath as he turned towards the door. Yeah, that’s what he figured he would do. Sleep in the car.

“Wait-“ you took a step forward.

“What?”

“Where are you going?”

“To my truck, I’ll sleep in the car and-“

“No!” You took another step forward.

“You can’t leave me alone in this motel…I-“

“Why not?” He furrowed his brows.

“It’s creepy and…I don’t know…I’m kinda scared to stay alone up here”

“You’re scared?” You could hear the irritation in his tone, God you were making it harder for the man to keep himself away from you.

“Yes, can you please stay”

Joel sighed looking away knowing he had no choice. He knew he couldn’t just leave you alone like that.

“Thank you” you whispered and headed to the bed.

“So what side do you prefer to sleep on?”

Joel looked up at you, clearly over the whole ordeal.

“I ain’t sleepin’ on the bed”

“You’re still going on with that? Look how big this bed is!” You took it upon yourself to choose a side and lay back.

“You know something Mr.Miller-Joel” you corrected yourself as you sat up.

“Sometimes I think you just don’t like me and I don’t know what I’ve done but whatever it is, I apologize”

Joel stood still, Jesus Christ, now he had you thinking he didn’t like you, which obviously was so very far from the truth. He cleared his throat, not exactly sure how to defend himself without being obvious how badly he actually wanted you.

“That ain’t it, sweetheart” his words were spoken softly, probably the softest he’s ever spoken to you. There was an awkward silence after that before you sighed and got under the covers.

“Well, if that’s not it, then I insist you lay on a bed to sleep. I won’t bother you I promise” he watched as you turned over and proceeded to close your eyes.

Giving in, he walked towards the bed. Still debating in his mind what he should and shouldn’t do. He knew it was best to sleep in his jeans, at least the heavy material would do better at hiding a boner he knew he would get.

“You didn’t pack pajamas?” You suddenly turned catching him off guard.

“Yeah uh-“

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna sleep with jeans on, that’s so uncomfortable” you turned back the way you were as Joel took a deep breath. Without saying a word he proceeded to change his clothes in the bathroom.

Sweats and a navy blue t shirt Joel awkwardly sat on the bed. It seemed as if you had already fallen asleep, if so, it definitely would be better for him. Laying on his back he looked at the ceiling, his knee up as he carefully tried not to move much with you beside him.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad he thought, just a few hours, make it through the night and everything would be fine, right? He couldn’t help but look over, the blanket covering your legs until you moved shifting its place on you. Now a hint of the back of your bear thighs exposed to him, he didn’t even realize he began to breathe hard. His eyes darting back and forth between the ceiling and your legs until he found it in him to reach over and attempt to cover you. Of course, just as he did you unexpectedly turned over toward him, his hand now trapped beneath the side of your thigh as you faced him.

“Shit” he whispered, his breathing becoming harder to control, a feeling of anticipation he couldn’t hide. His hand feeling your bare skin on him, he could feel the pressure in his chest when you abruptly turned away again.

God you were moving a lot, each movement taking him by surprise but now here you were with your ass poked out just inches away from his crotch area. Looking down, his hand ached to grab your waist and press himself against you. The scent of your vanilla spray filling the air, only weakening his fight. A soft sleepy moan escaping your lips making him look up, the sound you made only making his cock begin to the throb as it hardened in his pants when your phone began to buzz.

Joel quickly turned onto his back lifting the covers over him as you responded in a lazy like voice.

“Mhm. Sure…yeah…I’ll tell him” you sighed before clicking the phone off and turning to Joel.

“Sarah said-“ you stopped in your tracks noticing how fast paced his breathing was.

“Are you ok?” His knee blocking his erection as he refused to look at you.

“Joel?” You whispered.

“I’m fine” he responded in a much more aggressive tone than he meant to.

“Are…are you sure?”

He looked to you with a clenched jaw but he didn’t say a word. His mind going hazy the second he laid eyes on you, he knew he was no longer thinking straight. Joel felt like an animal was taking over him when he abruptly turned towards you and kissed you. You squealed in shock as his hand caressed the crook of your neck, he placed himself over you just before he pulled his lips away. You panted looking up at him in disbelief, how he managed to get himself between your legs so quickly you couldn’t say.

“Joel..” you whispered.

“You scared me” your words instantly setting a realization within him, regret was clear in his eyes.

“I’m sorry-“ but just before he attempted to remove himself, you gently placed your hand on his face. He closed his eyes savoring your touch, your legs adjusting around his waist allowing you to feel his fully erect member against you.

“So this is what it’s all been about…” you whispered somewhat amused as he looked away with shame.

“This ain’t right” you felt him about to move away and tightened your legs around him.

“Wait” you whispered.

“We don’t…we don’t have to do anything but you can just…just stay here” you felt yourself become aroused, the head of his cock against your pussy lips. Through his sweats you could feel the shape of him against you, your black lace underwear soaking up from your excitement. As good as it felt between your legs, Joel took a deep breath.

“I can’t” he whispered, his lips against your forehead.

“Please..” you grabbed onto his shirt wanting to feel him even closer and that’s when he slowly thrusted his hips against you. Your lips parted against his and he thrusted again and again. Your moan made him freeze in place, he wanted more. Joel lifted his body up and looked down noticing the wet stop you left him on his grey sweats, only tempting him to continue.

“I’m sorry” you whispered slightly embarrassed.

He didn’t say a word, you could see him losing the fight and angled his face back to you.

“It’s not like we’re having sex..” you whispered.

“We’re not doing anything wrong” you continued, your thumb brushing over his lips.

He needed to feel more.

With one hand leaning beside your head, he pushed himself up and pushed down his sweats along with his underwear, revealing his aching member.

“What are you doing?”

“I won’t put it in, I just-“ he proceeded to take his cock and brush it up and down between your lips, you lay silently feeling aroused like you had never felt before. Your silk underwear slowly moving aside the more he teased you, his eyes on yours as he focused on the hold he had on you.

“Just don’t-“

“I won’t” he whispered hoarsely. The feel of his cock coming into contact with your pussy, you slowly reached between you both and pulled your underwear aside giving him complete access to feel you.

“Oh, baby…I don’t know if I can stop” he panted as your body squirmed beneath him. You both wanted more, the sound of how wet your pussy was only continued to awaken the animal inside him. His eyes focused on yours when he suddenly slipped himself inside you making you gasp. He held himself feeling you throb around him, your nails digging into his shoulders.

“Joel..” you whispered, his eyes dazed.

“I’m sorry..” he whispered.

“Don’t be…. Again…please” Joel did just as you asked, sliding himself nearly all the way out before ramming himself in you once more.

“Is that what you want? Tell me” he demanded, both of his hands grabbing your face. You nodded desperately before he began moving his hips in a rhythm against you, again and again and again. The bed squeaking loudly the faster he moved.

“Fuck” you moaned as he aggressively pulled his shirt over his head with one hand before sliding his other hand under your ass and lifting you up closer against him. Joel didn’t give a shit if what he was doing in that moment wasn’t wrong and neither did you. You felt better than he could imagine, your tight wet cunt wrapped around him, he moaned deeply. You didn’t want him to stop, you didn’t want it to end when someone suddenly knocked on the door. You and Joel froze out of breath as someone knocked again.

“Housekeeping!”

“No!” Joel blurt out roughly.

“No thank you” he breathed in relief that it was no one else before continuing what he was doing. Next thing you knew, Joel flipped you on top of him, his hands pushing up beneath your shirt grabbing your breasts as you bounced him. Joel could feel your cum dripping down his ballsack.

“Just like that, baby” he panted looking down at his cock.

“Fuck, Joel I’m gonna-“

“You’re gonna cum? Look at me, fucking look at me when you cum” he grabbed a handful of your hair and bought your face down close to his as he pushed his pelvis upwards as fast as he could. You couldn’t take the pleasure he was making you feel, your screams echoing around the room as you came repeatedly.

“Atta girl” he slowed down and flipped you back on your back, your body limp from your orgasm he got on his knees and quickly pulled out. Jerking himself off, his cum shot out of him onto your stomach as he leaned over you.

“Oh shit” he spoke breathlessly looking down at when slowly the intense high came crashing down. He had just fucked his daughter’s Bestfriend.

Joel pushed himself off the bed, slowly stumbling towards the bathroom as your body still tried to recover. He didn’t say a word slamming the bathroom door shut as you slowly pushed yourself up.

“Are you okay?” You called out to him cleaning yourself up, your legs slightly trembling. He didn’t respond.

A few minutes later Joel came rushing out fully dressed and began packing his bag.

“What are you doing?” You asked confused.

“Get dressed, we ain’t stayin’ here”

“Joel, where the hell are we gonna go?”

“Get dressed” he narrowed his eyes on you with a tone you didn’t like.

“Where are we going? Sarah is three hours away and the cabin is still hours away-“

“I ain’t stayin’ here” he walked past you picking up his sweats and throwing it in the bag.

“I don’t understand-“ he abruptly stopped before you and grabbed your face making you gasp.

“I just fucked you in a damn motel. If I don’t leave from here, I will fuck you again and again” his eyes drifted to your lips as you looked at him speechless.

“You’re my daughter’s best friend, I can’t do this” he whispered as he got lost in his temptation and kissed you passionately. He carried you up against the wall brushing his hand up your thigh pushing your shirt above your hips before he moved his lips away. Leaning his forehead on yours he slowly put you back on your feet.

“Get dressed” his tone was cold as he turned away from you.

“You know what-“ you walked towards your bag and pulled out your pants.

“As soon as Sarah and Tommy meet us we can switch, I’ll ride the rest of the way with Tommy” Joel instantly looked up from his bag. Clearly what you said didn’t exactly sit right with him. The thought of you traveling alone with Tommy knowing how his brother was something he was not going to allow. Especially after what had just happened with you.

“So you wanna ride with Tommy now?” He made his way around the bed walking towards you as you pulled up your pants without looking at him.

“Mhm” you responded with clear annoyance.

“You gonna wear your little panties for Tommy too?” Your eyes widened.

“Oh screw you, I didn’t make a move on you”

Joel stood silent, he knew you were right yet his jealousy somehow overpowering his emotions. He felt defeated.

“You’re not ridin’ with Tommy and that’s final” he turned away.

“And what makes you think I have to listen to you?” You quickly followed him until he suddenly turned back to you catching you off guard. He was silent, his jaw tense as you looked up at him slightly intimidated. You could’ve sworn he was going to say something….anything until your phone rang.

Sarah and Tommy got a ride and were now much much closer than you both originally expected them to be and that’s when it hit you, that you were now stuck on a four day trip with your Bestfriend and her dad that you had just slept with..

@moonpascal @katmoonz @picketniffler @stcrrjoon @itsamandi @starry-eyes-love @theoraekenslover @psychoenergy @joeldjarin @bambisweethearts @baronessvonglitter @guelyury @mynameistokyo @harriedandharassed @locaparapedrito @untamedheart81 @rosaliedepp @illyanam1011 @hopefulatrocity @tikikiki @thewritermj @l0veang3l @manuymesut @katiemarieeee @unknownomgg @secretcheesecakenacho @missladym1981 @xmaykeca @dendulinka6 @wintersquirrel @malfoycassimalfoy @scorpio-echo @orcasoul @mysteryhexgirl @locaparapedrito @alloftheimagines @mystickittytaco @justajoelsreader @ashleyfilm

[ha-im-gonna-die-alone]

#infamous second son#gifs#cutiessss#god the acting here! beautiful! jfbhjrbgbtr#aside: this is the second instance lately where I've noticed someone has pretty hands#Delsin=pretty hands#Josh Helman=pretty hands#man#also I love Reggie- still waiting on that secret ending where they say 'sike' and he turns up with studio/canned laughter and all#It happened offscreen which means he is OK and no one would be mad- please just do it vhfbvhbv#ASIDE/talking about a 10 year old game: Now I get the impression this game was rushed or something??#but I kinda wish they'd explored a bit more of the brothers' lore/history#and I also wish Delsin/Fetch could have had a bit more connection/banter there#since I feel their relationships with their respective brothers/the path they ended up on are echos of one another#just....ya know! it would be interesting to compare/contrast I think#and like I DUNNO! when (I played good boy) he takes responsibility for setting Fetch and Eugene on a better path#that felt like the influence of the kindness of his brother to me!!!! who obviously is always ultimately in his corner#we get a strong sense of an older brother used to taking care of the younger one; are their parents dead (?)#I got that vibe/implication but like....cannot remember it specifically mentioned. We're told fetch's parents turned her out basically?#but like....Delsin??? I dunno! WHat happened! I feel like a lot of the game would make sense if parent death was blamed on conduits or s/t#a bit cliche but it'd give us some lore and be quick- otherwise we gotta do a lot of 'reading into' that's harder to connect with-#-since it happens externally to our characters- ya feel me???#(I dunno maybe my issues there would mitigated by a better understanding of the infamous-verse- which I lack)#still-as a stand alone exp I have questions and desire answers!#also that scene where REggie holds him at the beginning!!! AUUUUGH! ok now I'm ranting#like both reggie and delsin show a fear of conduits/powers (again makes me wonder about their experiences with them)#could easily be just because of general public perception/propaganda of conduits as 'bad' etc...#but specifically how Delsin seems to panic at the beginning made me wonder about it...it feels trauma-sourced on some level#reggie seems to know how to handle that panic too! like they've been through this before#implies to me delsin may have had panic attacks in the past (@kobochajunkbox)

You do realize when we “hit the town”, there’s a fair chance the town’s gonna, you know… hit back?

[kurokawaia]

DON'T BE SILLY 彡 Shinazugawa Sanemi

WC; 800+ | TW/CW :: reader is very polite and timid, FEM!Reader, afab, fem!reader x sanemi, emotional distress, mentions of injury, mild language, themes of loneliness and insecurites, reader is called 'wife' + more

⋆·˚ ༘ *𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 : (filled request) But I was wondering, if you are a viable could you do a one shot with either iguro or shinazugawa, where the reader misses them a lot since they go on missions but doesn’t say anything because they don’t want to be clingy or anything. Instead they tell someone else (shinobu or mitsuri) who end up telling the guy about and they comfort the reader. - ANON

m.list | demon slayer m.list

Currently, you were at the Butterfly Mansion, trying to enjoy the time you have by yourself but it was really hard to do so, to enjoy it. Not even the sunset, which is beautiful, the soft glow which is about to disappear beneath the trees. No, you can't even enjoy that with the distress in your heart. Your heart aches deeply but you had to push those feelings down, you won't let your tears spill over. You won't cry. 

Sanemi is gone again, off on another dangerous mission, leaving his wife behind. You hate how much you miss him, all the smiles he shares with you, only you, his voice, his hands, how he clings to you like a cat when he wakes up. He haunts you when he's out on a mission. But you can't do anything. 

You didn't want to be that kind of person—the one who begged for attention

So, you kept it to yourself, bottling it up until you felt like you might burst. The words came tumbling out only because of Mitsuri, you can't lie to her shes your best friend, she knows when you're lying.

"I just... I miss him so much," you admitted. "I know it's silly, but I feel like I'm always waiting for him. And I can't even say anything because I don't want to seem clingy or selfish. He has enough to deal with already..."

Mitsuri gasped, her hands flying to her mouth as it dropped in shock. "That's not silly at all!" she said cupping your hands. "Sanemi should know how much you care. You're not selfish for missing someone you love."

"It's not like that! I mean—okay, maybe it is, but I don't want to bother him!"

"I'll handle this for you!" She announces already walking away from you.

Hours then passed until Sanemi finally came home. He was indefinitely tired anyone who saw him could tell that he was. He was about to head into the bath house before Mitsuri popped out in front of him, almost as if she was cornering him from going anywhere else.

"Sanemi!" she began, hands on her hips. "You're such a dummy sometimes, you know that?"

"What are you going on about, Kanroji?"

"It's your wife!" she exclaimed. "She misses you so much and feel too guilty to tell you because they don't want to seem clingy! Can you believe that?"

Sanemi froze. 

She feels what?

He pushed past Mitsuri and slides open the door abruptly to your shared room. Your head perks up to the door, seeing Sanemi standing there and you could see the worried expression on your face which made your heart ache, wondering if he is okay.

Sanemi then suddenly sat down next to the futon, elbows resting on his knees as he gazed down to you, analyzing your pretty face and he could see it, the worry on your face. 

"You missed me?" he asked.

Your eyes widened. "What? No—I mean, yes, but I—" You groaned, burying your face in your pillow. "Mitsuri told you, didn't she?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "She did."

You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, your embarrassment threatening to swallow you whole. But then you felt his hands move around your body, pulling you up into a hug, arms tightly wrapped around you and you feel as if you were going to cry because it's been so long since you've felt safe in his arms.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" he asked softly. "I'm not gonna think you're clingy or whatever crap you've been telling yourself."

"I didn't want to make things harder for you," you muttered. "You're already out there fighting for your life. The last thing you need is me whining about how much I miss you."

"Listen to me," he said firmly. "I go on those missions because I have to, yeah. But you're the reason I come back. Don't ever think for a second that missing me or wanting me around is a burden. Got it?"

Tears pricked your eyes and it wasn't too long before they began to fall and your arms tightly wrapped themselves around his neck, pulling him in closer.

"I missed you too, you know," he murmured against your hair.

He rested his chin on top of your head and his heart begins to ssync with yours, this is the first time he has felt at peace for days ever since the mission ended, he doesn't think he will ever feel calm unless he has you in his arms.

"Next time, just tell me, okay? Don't bottle it up. I'm tough, but I'm not so tough I don't want to know how you feel."

You nodded against his chest. "I will. I promise."

"Good," he said. "Because I'm not going anywhere. Cling to me all you want."

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

m.list | demon slayer m.list

[peterparkouryo]

lies between us² | *ੈ✩‧₊˚

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

prompt: You and Peter have been frenemies for as long as you can remember.

warnings: fluff, arguement(s), and banter

word count: 2.2k

part one

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ taglist

Two months. Two months since Peter confessed he had feelings for you and two months since your first date, since you last talked to him. To start with, the tryst went absolutely amazing, for the most part. Peter certainly surprised you. You had not expected someone nearly as incompetent (in your opinion) and naïve as him to be so strong matched about your preferences.

The minute the boy showed up at your door, he thankfully did not bring flowers because you mentioned at one point during your many conversations how cliché the boutonniere is. He, of course respected your thoughts and instead arrived with a bouquet of sticks, which you did not find funny, but Peter swore it was a comical idea he believed would make you smile (it didn't). 

You recommended your first date to be somewhere luxuriated, like a movie date to which he told you happened to be even more maxim than bringing you flowers and woefully you agreed.

So, you two decide on a sandwich from Delmar's second establishment and a walk through Central Park. The first thirty to thirty five minutes of your time was filled with conversations you missed, how hard and pointless school was, and the fact that Peter was Spider-Man. Something you still can't quite believe.

You didn't know the exact way to ask him about his alter ego, nervous to offend him, but thankfully you gathered up the courage and he was more than happy to tell you.

He told you about how he was bit by a radioactive spider on your grade nine field trip to the science centre, and how for the past three years he had been trying to impress the Tony Stark. Peter then told you he never really had an internship with the billionaire, it was just a cover up for his vigilante side. 

You asked questions, he answered and to you, at least for the most part the date was unexceptionally good, until he decided to be more dense than he already was.

'Oh, crap." Peter pulls out his phone from his pocket and glances down at it. You blink in confusion as he turns up the volume and listens to police officers from what you can only assume is a 911 dispatcher app.

"What?" You glance from the phone and narrow your eyes at him, sensing what you already know.

"There's a robbery on sixty fourth avenue.."

You stare at him in confusion, not really understanding if what he was suggesting was actually about to happen, so you sigh and place your hands on your hips.

"And that's your problem because?"

"I mean, I am Spider-Man, so."

You huff and roll your eyes at his stupidity.

"The police can handle it." You suggest and Peter frowns as if you just recommended the boy donate his blood.

"They won't come fast enough." He insists and tucks his phone back into his pocket.

The boy cropped up this dogmatic counsel to ditch you on your first ever rendezvous to stop a bank robbery that can easily be terminated by the police, given it was their job to do, not his. You sensed a common amount of fury climb through your body.

"So, you're suggesting that I let you leave while we're on a date that you asked me on?" You tilt your head in confusion and watch Peter press his lips into a thin line, a greater than sum of thoughts dispute through his eyes.

He contemplated your question for some time before he nods slowly.

"I'll come back, it'll take ten minutes or less. Bank robberies are my speciality." The boy offers you a smile and you roll your eyes, in spite of your inner torment, you sigh.

"Fine, ten minutes or less. If it eleven minutes or more I will consider this the worst first date ever." You point to him and Peter smiles as you agree to let him escape to his mission.

"I'll be back in ten, promise."

You nod silently and observe him turning away from you and exiting the park.

You had no idea why you believed him, because eleven minutes, twelve and eventually an hour had past. You gave up the hope he was coming back. Embarrassed by your reliance, you walk of shame your way back home.

What was even more disappointing was the fact he had not reached out to you that entire night after his failed promise, so you swore to yourself to declare the date with him the worst one you have ever experienced, no matter how terrible future ones may be.

-

"Boys are idiots, that's why I date girls." MJ shrugs and pops a chip into her mouth, the noisy cafeteria being a familiar background to your ears.

You told Michelle a sugarcoated version of Peter standing you up on your first date, still being respectful about his secret identity even if you hated everything about him in the moment.

"I should have never agreed on that date." You cross your arms as the girl raises her eyebrow.

"It's not the end of the world." Michelle reassures.

You start to wonder which side she was even on.

"Yes it is." You argue.

The brown haired girl sighs and sits up. "Okay, so what if Peter stood you up on your first date—"

"Ever." You interrupt to add.

She narrows her eyes. "On your first date ever." You nod at the correction.

"The best part of this whole conflict is you got a free sandwich."

You furrow your eyebrows at her insensible words, despite it being true, was not the wisdom you were searching for.

"Whatever, it's very humiliating to have a like slash dislike relationship with someone and agree to go on a date with him, only for the boy to turn around and stand me up. He didn't even apologize." You explain, your anger bubbling up at the memories.

"It's been two months and you're now just telling me this." She points out and you glare at her.

"I was still in disbelief and that isn't the point."

"You're right." Michelle nods. "The point is that you need to stop avoiding him and talk to him. I'm sure he has done everything in his power to apologize."

MJ is absolutely right. For the past two months, Peter went out his way to talk to you, apologize, and get your attention. Being the stubborn person you are, you ignore his attempts and steer clear of the spider boy the best you can. In your eyes, it was justified (maybe slightly unfair), because you were not the kind of individual to easily forgive. Especially when the reason for your obstinacy only started due to the certainty Peter stood you up to cease a misdeed that could've been done by the police department. Not only did he leave you longer than he promised, he made no effort that same night to explain why it took him more than an hour.

Instead he waited seventy two hours later to approach you, and you knew you were worth more than a three day later apology. 

As the weeks passed, he never sought to give up his efforts which may have been just a tiny bit admirably but also terribly annoying.

"No." You shake your head, Michelle sighs as she glances behind you.

"Well, better find a hiding place quick, your knight in shining armour is coming this way." 

You quickly turn around to see what she was talking about and you see Peter with a weary determined look, coming your way and you stand up as swiftly as you can, unfortunately not fast enough to escape him as he catches your arm with a gentle grip, but still firm enough to make sure you can't run away.

You look at MJ for help and she pretends to not see you.

"Wait." Peter pleads and you shake your head at your so called best friend and side eye the boy, not in the right headspace to officially face him after two months of avoidance.

"Can I talk to you, please?" You feel Peter's hand withdraw from your arm, examining you carefully.

Notwithstanding your urge to say no, and to leave you alone, you narrow your eyes and huff out a flatten sigh. 

"Fine," You cross your arms as Peter looks around nervously before clearing his throat. 

"Not...not here." He shakes his head.

You glance around the cafeteria, the bustling noise of students undeniably obnoxious. Certainly, you sensed Peter's hesitation to want to converse with you in such a wildly known public place that tends to shape commotion. 

Sharing one last look at MJ, you gesture for the boy to lead the way.

Peter guides to the hallway outside the cafeteria, placing his hands into his pocket. It's not lost on you how nervous he is. You could not understand why the boy was practically shaking in nerves considering when it came to you, he always seemed so sure and somewhat, maybe slightly confident. There was banter, teasing and harmless insults through the time you've known him.

However, recently, Peter's endurance struggled.

"I haven't seen you in two months." Is the first thing he says to you and it takes you a minute to fall back down to earth.

"I wonder why." You raise an eyebrow in defence.

"I didn't ditch you on purpose."

"You didn't explain why either."

Peter immediately presses his lips together, his hand running through his hair in frustration. 

A few seconds of silence goes by and he sighs. You can see the wheels turning in his brain as he tries to come up with an answer, an explanation even.

"I know and I'm sorry. I got distracted and its not like I forgot or anything. May found out and it got really messy--" You hold up your hand and immediately he snaps his mouth shut.

"What do you mean she "found out?" You blink in confusion as he raises his eyebrow at your question.

"That I'm," Peter glances around, presumably to make sure no one hears before looking back at you. "Y'know, that I'm Spider-Man."

Your eyes widen in surprise at his admission, the sudden guilt overwhelming your thoughts. Had you known your every so often 'friend' was going through such a thorny conflict, you probably wouldn't be half as mad as you've been the last few months.

If only he had told you.

"Why couldn't you tell me that? I might've like, supported you through it or something." 

You're not really sure if there was anything you could've done, but what you are sure about is Peter coming to you for any sort of comfort might he needed.

"I'm sure." Peter nods and steps closer to you. "You have to believe me, that I didn't mean to ditch you and I realize I probably should've tried a little harder to talk to you after our date." He admits and you can't help but smile slightly at his words.

A part of you (mostly your head) tells you to hold him a bit more accountable, to expand his defence. Your heart however, remembered Peter Parker has always been the sweet, remorseful, boy next door friend(ish) you've known for years. 

And if you've learned anything from your on and off again friendship, you know when he's sorry, he really means it.

After much debate, positives and negatives, you were willing to forgive him, one last time.

"Alright, you've convinced me." You say as you cross your arms.

"Convinced you to what?" Peter furrows his eyebrows at your albeit, vague submit. 

"Forgive you. Obviously you suck at excuses, so I'm willing to forgive you one last time." You explain, watching Peter nod with hesitation. 

Yet another beat of silence occupies the air and you press your lips together, having nothing else to say. You've done your part of forgiven, now it's his turn to accept it.

"Perfect." Peter smiles at your mercy, quickly hugging you.

You flutter somewhat and your arms instinctively hug him back. The new, yet familiar warmth evades a gloomy outlook and you find yourself wanting to embrace him no matter the circumstance.

Atlas, reality returns as Peter pulls away from you slowly.

"Does this mean we're friends again? Like again for a long time?" He gazes at you with the most puppy eyed stare you've ever seen and you have to look down in fear you might not have much control left.

"Yeah, I guess we can be friends without the enemies part." You reassure, glancing at Peter as he smiles.

"That's good to know. Maybe down the road you can..." He pauses for a moment and you notice he bites the inside of his cheek.

"Be my girlfriend."

Your heart jumps at his words and your eyes might seem as if they're about to jump out of your socket. 

"What?"

"Huh? I'm kidding." Peter laughs and you frown before glaring at him.

You didn't find pulling at your heartstrings humorous.

"We can start very slow, no rush. I'm just glad we're friends again."

The lunch bell rings, a flock of students rush out of the cafeteria, chattering and what not overtakes the comfortable atmosphere as you stare at him.

"I thought you liked me?" You blurt as you tilt your head.

Peter blinks before nodding, "I mean, I do, but it's been two months since we last spoke, so it would be kind of weird to...jump into something."

You sigh, not wanting to verbally agree with his statement.

"Friends." You hold out your hand.

"Friends, for now." Peter shakes your hand with a smile.

The familiar comfort returns and Peter offers to walk you to class, which you of course accept.

taglist: @victoriousskylar @ietss @astrogirl0666 @hahehhwjavaja @superlegend216 @b4tm4nn @imawhoreforu @sunsettee @myfangirlinessononeblog

[airybcby]

hi !! i wanted to request for your most recent event could you do ness with 🧁 and 🍊 ?? i love your writing so much :3 also if the events close please just ignore this! ^^

hi! tysm for giving me the opportunity to write abt ness, i love him!

an alexis ness orange citrus cupcake :)

જ⁀♡⊹｡° let me love you goodbye

♡ a/n — for my more than a married couple event !

♡ content — alexis ness x gn! reader, gn! reader, ex bf! ness, ness being peer pressured into breaking up, mentions of kaiser (once), pining (ness), reader does try to stay strong, second chance romance

♡ synopsis — when you and alexis ness broke up, it shattered something in you that never quite healed. well, or so you thought.

You hadn’t seen Alexis Ness in almost a year.

After he walked away—after you walked away—it became easier to think of him as someone from a chapter of your life you’d already closed. No texts, no calls, no random appearances at the coffee shop where you used to meet. It was like he’d erased you as easily as wiping dust from a mirror.

And maybe that was for the best.

Because loving Alexis Ness had been all-consuming.

He was kind, soft-spoken, and impossibly thoughtful when it came to you. But he was also impressionable—so much so that others’ opinions carried more weight than they should have.

And when Michael Kaiser told him that you were a distraction—someone holding him back from becoming his best self—he believed it.

He’d tried to explain, of course. Told you how much he loved you, how much it hurt him to let you go, but he couldn’t risk his future. He couldn’t let anything interfere with his soccer career.

You’d cried, argued, and begged him to see that you weren’t the obstacle he thought you were. That you were rooting for him, standing in his corner no matter what.

But it wasn’t enough.

So, when the two of you broke up, it shattered something in you that never quite healed.

When you saw his name listed as your partner for the marriage simulation program, your first reaction was disbelief.

Your second reaction was anger.

Of all the people they could have paired you with, why him? Why Alexis?

But as much as you wanted to march to the program administrator’s office and demand a change, you didn’t. Instead, you gritted your teeth and resolved to survive the next few weeks.

It was just a simulation. Nothing more.

You could handle being around him again.

The first day was awkward, to say the least.

“Hey,” he greeted you at the door of the shared apartment, his voice careful, like he was afraid you’d bolt.

“Hey,” you replied flatly, stepping inside with your suitcase.

The apartment was small but cozy—a living room that flowed into a tiny kitchen, and two bedrooms tucked away in the back.

“Uh, I took the room on the left,” Alexis said, fidgeting with his shirt sleeve. “But if you want it, we can switch.”

“I don’t care,” you said, brushing past him.

The air between you was heavy, filled with all the words you hadn’t said to each other in a year.

The first few days were a study in avoidance.

You spoke when necessary—coordinating chores, reviewing assignments—but nothing more.

The points staring at the two of you in your living room, the bright red number of '2'...only because you'd split the chores. Other couples were already in the hundreds.

It was easy for them, they may have actually liked their partner.

Still, you couldn’t ignore the way your heart twisted every time he smiled, or the pang of longing when he casually said your name, like he hadn’t shattered your heart a year ago.

You told yourself it didn’t matter. He didn’t matter. Not anymore.

But then, one evening, everything changed.

The two of you were tasked with planning a mock anniversary celebration as part of the program.

“You always liked candlelight dinners,” Alexis said quietly, glancing at you from across the table.

The words caught you off guard. “You remember that?”

He smiled faintly. “I remember everything.”

You looked away, focusing on the flickering candle between you. “It doesn’t mean anything, Ness. It’s just a simulation.”

“Is it?” he asked, his voice laced with something you couldn’t quite name. Regret? Hope?

Your throat tightened, but you didn’t respond.

Later that night, as you cleaned up the mock dinner, he spoke again.

“I was wrong,” he said suddenly.

You froze, your hands stilling on the dish you were drying.

“About everything. About you,” he continued, his voice breaking slightly. “You weren’t a distraction. You were the only person who ever truly supported me, and I was too stupid to see it.”

Your chest ached as you turned to face him. “Why are you telling me this now, Ness? A year ago, I begged you to stay. I begged you to believe in us. And you walked away.”

“I know,” he whispered, his eyes glistening. “And I’ve regretted it every single day since.”

Tears welled in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. “You can’t just say that and expect everything to be okay.”

“I’m not asking for everything to be okay,” he said, stepping closer. “I’m asking for another chance. To prove that I’m not the same person who let you go.”

For a moment, you considered walking away. Turning your back on him the way he had on you.

But then you saw the sincerity in his eyes—the same eyes that once looked at you like you were his whole world.

And maybe, just maybe, you could believe in him again.

The simulation ended a few weeks later, but your story with Alexis Ness didn’t.

This time, he stayed.

And for the first time in a long time, you felt whole again.

the ending is rlly crappy but my brain wasn't working

i hope you liked it!

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

[pigeonentity]

i havent actually tried writing anything for this yet, i dont normally write characters younger than how old they are in canon but i can give it a shot

"My father said we shouldn't do this anymore," says Felix, holding the door open with a foot. "Maybe some other time?"

"You're just scared," Chloe tells him, pushing him in.

"My aunt doesn't like it either," he tries. "I don't want to insult her by lying to her again."

He hopes that one works, that he hasn't misjudged the relationship between Emilie and Chloe. Chloe's hard to talk to, bossy and burning behind the eyes, but his father wants them to get along, so he can't snap, can't refuse without an excuse, can't just walk away.

Still, he can't tell her that he's not scared. That he's stuck.

"You're lying," she says. "She told me it was funny. Besides, she can always tell you and Adrikins apart."

"I can't do this. I'm sorry, Chloe."

"But you always swap! You said you would!"

Adrien takes the door from him and locks it. He grips the handle against the banging on the other side.

"I hope she's not too disappointed."

"She'll be alright," says Felix, sitting on the bed. "What about you?"

"I get it. I can't disobey my father either."

"But you lost your chance to escape the city! You could have gotten away from your work for a bit. Maybe we could have pulled it off for good this time-- you could have run away once you got to London, and gone to school. You could have been a normal kid."

Adrien kicks his clothes across the floor. "Thanks."

"You shouldn't do that," he blurts. "You'll get them dirty."

Knock some sense into your cousin, won't you? Gabriel doesn't keep a tight enough leash on him.

Adrien glares at him. Felix tries to apologise, but his mouth won't open. He chokes on the word invisibly.

"Why didn't you visit last year?" asks Adrien.

"Father said we couldn't. I wanted to come."

"I hate him."

"Don't say that." Felix's fingers twitch. "He's your uncle."

Adrien groans, and flops down beside him.

"Chloe says you're worse than me about rules."

"Our parents just have a lot of expectations," says Felix. "She has too much freedom."

"She's our friend."

"She's your friend."

"But she's right. I love my father and my mum, but I wish they let me do things."

Knock some sense into your cousin.

Felix sees blood on his hands and flinches from it.

"Please don't say that."

"You know what I mean. You wanted to help me, you said you wanted to help me."

"I have to go."

Knock some sense.

"Felix, wait, you just got here--"

He unlocks the door.

"I don't want to wait another year to see you," Adrien tells him. "I'm sorry, I-"

He pushes past Chloe, who yells at him faster than he can catch. The corridors blur as he walks. He strides out the front door and is caught by a heavy hand on his shoulder.

He stops.

"It's time to go."

He exhales. There are twenty-one windows on Chloe's hotel that he can see from here. Nobody looks through them.

"Yes, Father."

"Did you enjoy seeing your cousin?"

"Yes, Father."

He sits in the car and stares forward, hands in his lap. He doesn't blink.

i think everyone saying 'felix hasnt been himself since his father died' when we first meet him is devastating

'hasnt been himself' he finally is himself, is his own. he isnt recognisable as the felix you knew, the felix his father could control?

how many orders had he given him?

[starshideurfics]

A Mother’s Love - part 2

part one

omegaverse, pre-steddie, past mpreg, cw: child death

Marsha Harrington was proud of her work under Dr. Martin Brenner. They were doing cutting-edge research, pushing the boundaries of what the human mind could do, and ensuring the communists didn’t win.

At least, that’s what she told herself as she held a grieving mother whose baby they had stolen.

Then, she told herself she was doing it for the children, protecting them as best she could.

But she couldn’t protect them. Not really.

Two was angry, even as a little boy, and Four followed his example. Five was cold, easily molded by Brenner. Each of them did whatever Papa asked.

Except Seven.

Seven cried often, and he kept to himself. The older boys liked to make him cry. And he was afraid of the girls, like being near them would burn his skin.

He was always distressed during Brenner’s tests, so distressed that they never got good data. Brenner tried ignoring him, a “cooling off period” he called it, to see if Seven could calm down and regulate enough for testing. It didn’t work.

“He’s washing out,” Brenner said one day after a failed attempt to get Seven to guess at the pictures on the cards in Brenner’s hands. “Schedule him for tomorrow.”

One child had washed out before. Four had been a twin. 004A and 004B, but A never stood out, let B push him around. He’d hit his head, had a cranial hematoma. There was surgery, but he recovered… below Brenner’s standard. He washed out at six-years-old.

“Washed out.”

He was cremated.

And 004B became 004.

Marsha volunteered to handle 007’s procedure. She changed out the vials, gave him a mild sedative, and covered him with a sheet. A janitor helped her sneak him out a backdoor.

She brought him home, told her husband she’d leave him if he didn’t agree to adopt the boy. Richard simply smiled and nodded.

Marsha had had cancer in her early-20s, lost both ovaries in the course of her treatment. She’d gone to therapy, made her peace with it. Found a husband who didn’t care that she couldn’t have children, who liked being able to knot her without worrying about babies.

Richard did not care for babies. But Seven was already almost 5-years-old. Richard could handle that.

He was also a lawyer, so getting papers filed to adopt the boy were simple. They named him Steven, figuring it was close enough that if he remembered anything his brain could make sense of it.

Steven David Harrington.

Marsha and Richard were quiet about Steve, treating him like he’d always been around. They moved to Hawkins, closer to the lab, hiding Steve in plain sight. And Marsha kept her job.

If they ran, someone might ask questions, but Marsha wanted to save time on her commute. Who could question that?

Out of the lab, Steve calmed down. He enjoyed his routines, liked going to the park, liked swimming in their new pool with Mommy. For the first time, Marsha saw him laugh out loud, and she hoped the worst was behind them.

Then he started school.

The other children overwhelmed him, and his teacher called home 45 minutes after drop-off because Steve could not stop crying.

Marsha went to pick him up, promised they would work on emotional regulation and try again next Monday.

“Steve, can you tell me what’s wrong?” she asked on the way home.

“Hurts,” he said, sniffling and rubbing his chest. “Hurts inside. Everyone is scared and loud and it hurts.”

“Oh, my poor, sensitive boy!” Marsha pulled into the driveway, pulled Steve out of the backseat, and held him close. “Let’s see if we can figure out how to make it quieter for you, Stevie.”

When Steve went back for the second week of Kindergarten he still kept to himself, but he could manage the half day surrounded by his peers. By the end of the week, he had even made friends.

He got better control, grew up happy and healthy, and most importantly, safe.

Marsha continued to work for Brenner until one day, after nearly 20 years, she was reassigned as a specialist at the VA. Brenner said their funding was cut. That the program was finished.

Steve was almost 13 by then. Marsha was fairly certain he didn’t remember any of it. And he didn’t cry much. Not anymore. But when he came home to his mother crying in the kitchen, his eyes filled with tears. “It’s okay, Mom,” he said, throwing his arms around her.

“I know, Honey. I know.”

🫂🫂🫂

Wayne leaves Steve dozing in his nest around 4:10, and goes to try calling the Harrington’s. Marsha picks up on the third ring, voice light and breathy. Wayne tries to be as cordial as possible, introducing himself and mentioning that he’s seen her at the VA when he goes in for his physical.

“But let’s get down to brass tacks, I’ve got your son, Steve, here, in my nest, sleeping through his presentation heat. My nephew’s a freshman, he found him, and you know how teens are, he brought him to the first safe omega he could think of—”

“Thank you!” she cuts him off, sounding a little hysterical. “Thank you, Wayne! I thought I had more time before it hit him. It’s been so long since I’ve worked with pups—with teens…” she trails off, suddenly quiet. “I should have been paying more attention.”

Wayne waits a long moment, then he asks, “D’you wanna come pick him up? Or should I…”

“Yes! What’s your address?”

Wayne’s ready to give directions, but he says Forest Hills and the lot number, and she thanks him again as she hangs up her end of the call. Shrugging, Wayne hangs up his own receiver, and gets a glass of orange juice from the fridge.

Steve’s still sleeping peacefully, his face tucked into the side of the nest, fingers curled in the blankets.

Wayne crosses over to him, strokes his hair and murmurs, “Hey, Kid. Your Mom is on her way over.” He feels Steve’s forehead, still burning with his heat. He holds up the orange juice. “Need to get some sugar into you, make up for everything your body’s burning through.” He helps Steve sit up, holds the glass for him as he drinks it all.

Finished, Steve turns to hide his face against Wayne’s shoulder and whines.

“I know, Kid. This is a rough one. The first of many.”

“Can I lay back down?”

“Sure, get comfy. I’ll bring your mother back as soon as she gets here.” Wayne watches Steve sink back down to the same spot, realizes then where Steve’s nose is, and holds back a keening cry of his own.

Benny deserves to know.

But Benny wants his pup safe before anything.

Marsha must have broken a few traffic laws with how quickly she arrives, and Wayne opens the door for her before she can knock. “Thank you!” she says again, following Wayne back to his nest and running over to Steve. She rubs his back, softly says, “Stevie, I’m here. It’s okay.”

Steve lifts his head, eyes unfocused as he turns to look at her. “Hi, Mom.”

“Are you ready to go home? We’ll get a nest started on your bed and you can sleep.”

“It’s nice here,” Steve mumbles, “Smells nice. Safe.”

She sniffs theatrically. “You’re right, it does.” Then she sniffs Steve’s hair. “But don’t you want a nest that smells like you?”

Steve shakes his head, fist clenching the white undershirt, pulling it to his nose.

Marsha strokes Steves hair, bends down to sniff quietly at the shirt, and goes stock still. As she recovers, she kisses Steve’s hair and gets back to her feet. Her eyes are watery, lips pursed as she approaches Wayne to ask, “You know Ben Hammond?”

“He’s my best friend. Don’t you know he lives in town?”

She shakes her head. “I try not to be involved, for-” She cuts herself off, pauses. “You know, don’t you.” It isn’t a question.

“Yes.”

“Call him. Now.”

🫂🫂🫂

“Benny’s Burgers, how can I help you?” Benny drawls into the receiver, expecting a to-go order.

Instead, it’s Wayne. “Benny, you need to come over right now.”

“Wayne, no. Dinner rush is about to start, I’ve already got a few early birds, a couple te-”

“Benjamin Hammond, this is serious!”

That wasn’t Wayne, the voice too high-pitched. Feminine and familiar.

“Marsha?”

“Hi, honey. God, I owe you a million apologies. More even.”

“You do.”

“But Wayne said you know, and he needs you.”

Benny’s heart races. “Wayne needs me? Marsha, what the hell is going on? Is Br-”

“Wayne is fine. He needs you.” Marsha is being careful, keeping him from saying too much over the phone. “Please, can you come to Wayne’s? Now?”

“Yeah, just gotta close up.”

“I’m so sorry, Benny.”

“Save it for later, Marsha.” He hangs up, hurries the customers who have already been served. Orders everyone else out with a barked, “Emergency closure. Come back tomorrow.”

Benny hops into his pickup, drives to Wayne’s, confused for a moment by the BMW parked next to Wayne’s truck. But his brain catches back up, and he parks right beside it.

As soon as he’s through the door he can smell it: Peaches, light and sweet. He shouldn’t be able to, with the strength of Wayne’s cinnamon mixed with cigarette smoke, but he does. Peaches mixed with the fading milky scent of a pup.

Wayne and Marsha are in the kitchen, both staring at him.

“I’m so sorry, Benny,” Marsha says again. “What we did to you was unforgivable. What we did to the pups was worse. But I got Steve out. I kept him safe.” Her voice is shaky, but her eyes stay dry, never looking away.

“I wanted to name him David,” Benny says in little more than a whisper.

“I know. His middle name is David, but Steven was easier for him to adapt to.”

“Adapt?”

“Brenner gave them numbers.”

That doesn’t surprise Benny; Brenner was always so clinical. Methodical. But it clearly shocks Wayne. “Numbers. Y’all didn’t even give them names?”

“His name was Seven.”

Marsha glances at Wayne, sees the disgust there. “Brenner thought it would make it easier for us to see them as subjects than as children. But they were always children to me. And Steve was sensitive, stubborn and scared. I got him out, and Brenner thinks he’s dead. As long as he doesn’t call any attention to himself he should be safe.”

“Talking to me will call attention to him, won’t it?” Benny asks, heart and mind racing. For a moment he considers grabbing Steve and running god knows where, but he can’t do that to his pup.

“Not that much. Brenner shuttered the program. I don’t work for him anymore. I’m just a nurse at the VA. And all your files are secured and confidential. No one should be watching you.” Marsha takes two steps, crosses the tiny kitchen, and tentatively reaches for Benny’s shoulder. “And he needs you. His heart still knows you.”

“I think my heart would know him anywhere. No matter what.” Tears stream from his eyes, and Benny nods down the hallway towards Wayne’s room. “I have loved him every day—every minute—of his life, and if you let me in, I’m not leaving. Ever.”

“I know. We’ll figure it out. Keep him safe. Together.”

Marsha takes his hand in both of hers, squeezes once, and lets go. “He’s sleeping, but I think he’ll feel better if you’re nearby.”

Benny panics, suddenly struck with all his worst fears. “He’s not hurt, is he?”

“No more than any other omega on the day they present,” Wayne answers gently.

“Oh.” Right, the peach scent. Benny’s grandmother smelled like peaches. He misses her. She taught him how to bake.

“He found your scent token in my nest right away,” Wayne adds.

“Oh,” Benny says again, his legs beginning to shake. “Oh.”

Marsha guides him back to the nest. To his pup.

Steve is asleep, a plain, white shirt clutched in his fist, held by his nose. The exposed skin of his back is covered in a sheen of sweat, and his cheeks are pink. Too warm all over from his presentation.

Slowly, Benny sinks down to sit at the center of the nest, and he carefully places a hand on top of Steve’s, aims his wrist towards his boy’s nose.

Steve purrs and nuzzles towards it, and Benny purrs in response. His hand moves to grasp Benny’s forearm and he mumbles, “Good, safe.”

“Yeah, Baby, you’re safe.”

🫂🫂🫂

Steve wakes around 9 that night, his cramps intense. He lets out a whine that sounds pitiful, even to his heat-addled mind. “Mama?” he asks softly, even though he hasn’t called his mother that since he started grade school. “Mama?”

“It’s okay, Steve. It’s okay,” she soothes back, petting his cheek.

Her powdery scent fills his nose, mildly floral, and he whines again. His belly cramps harder, an ache that radiates through his pelvis. He turns, seeking out the comforting scents of Wayne’s nest, only to press his nose into the palm of a callused hand.

Steve breathes in deeply. Apples and warmth.

He whines again, wordless and high pitched, both hands reaching, grasping. Steve feels safe, feels loved. Desperately. Overwhelmingly.

He reaches for it with his heart, touches that love with his own, and cries out. A love so big it hurts.

His fingers catch on soft cotton, body-warm because it’s being worn. He clenches his fists, whines as he pulls himself closer.

Steve’s not sure if he imagines it when he hears his mother say, “See, he needs you,” so gentle. When he hears a shaky gasp in response.

Then big arms lift him up, holding him like a pup, cradled against a strong chest. A warm hand guides his head down, positions his nose so he’s hit with the most intense burst of apples and love. Of sweetness and safety.

He snuffles closer, wants only this. Feels himself relax.

He does not understand yet, but he knows. His feelings have always been too big, but here they can be. He can let them be big, because here they are only love. Only joy.

Steve drifts to sleep in his mama’s arms for the first time, and for that moment, all is right with the world.

[stars4noah]

HALLEY'S COMET- three.

{WARNINGS}: swearing, drinking, allusions to depression, reader and noah making up yayyyy 🥳🥳

w.c- 2,898

a.n- if you guys couldn't tell by now, this story has kinda turned from being inspired by only halley's comet to being inspired by the entire album! go listen to happier than ever by billie eilish. the album. not the song.

enjoy! <3

{TAGLIST}: @lacy1986 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @chey-h @rumoured-whispers @oobleoob

if you would like to be added to the taglist, please comment!

i haven't slept since sunday. midnight for me is three a.m. for you.

three more weeks passed since everything happened. the next day, noah tried to come back. i told him to stay away. forever. i promised him that i would be just fine without him, that i didn't need him to prove to me that he was something he didn't want to be. because i was so convinced he didn't want to be better. he just wanted his photographer back.

i started working at a local coffee shop, the spark in my eyes that was once consistent now gone. i didn't have that kind voice that everyone grew to love. i didn't put any effort into my appearance. i just threw my hair into a ponytail and moved on.

a lot of the time, i was glad i lived alone. i could fall back into old habits without being scolded. like drinking, for example. it was the only way i knew how to handle my feelings. which wasn't working very well.

but you're all it takes for me to break a promise.

i knew the next time i saw his face i would break. i would run back. i would stay. spending years with somebody who you're secretly in love with will do that to a person. so i made it my goal to purposefully ignore him.

every time i would go home, i would scroll mindlessly on my phone. i found out that noah canceled the rest of the tour. mental health reasons, or whatever. i rolled my eyes, turning off my phone and cracking open yet another bottle of liquor, feeling the familiar burn go down my throat that i've grown accustomed to. i walked around my apartment mindlessly, humming some unfamiliar tune to myself.

these past few weeks, music has been my number one savior. aside from alcohol.

NOAH'S POV.

these weeks without her proved to be difficult. having fallen into a depression after alyssa and i broke up, [y/n] leaving only made it worse. i sat in my room, staring at the door. sometimes i would pray that she would walk through. surprise me and say it was all just a cruel prank.

countless bottles of hennessy sat in front of my bed. that was all i had been doing. drinking and working out and writing to ease away the pain.

"but nevertheless, i'm fucking depressed. i hide it with sex, and drink till it's fatal." i murmured to myself, taking another sip from the bottle before letting it clatter to the ground, snatching my pen and paper from my desk.

when i went through things like this, i always liked to write down my thoughts. some of those thoughts ended up in songs. and since we were in the middle of writing a new album, this was perfect.

there was a knock at the door and i grumbled a greeting, my eyes never leaving the paper. a couple seconds later, jolly walked in.

"christ, man, you look like hell."

i hummed, continuing to write as he sat in front of me.

"look, i know you're struggling. because of-"

i knew exactly who he was talking about. i didn't want to hear her name. she hurt me enough. "don't say her name."

jolly sighed. "because of her. but dude, we're worried. you know none of it was your fault, right? she was stupid to do that to you."

i scoffed. "she said it herself, jolly. 'he's richer, hotter, and bigger'" i scowled, repeating her words that she had said to me that night. some part of me regretted walking out of that door. i loved her. for years. and i had grown used to loving her. she was all that i had. she was what made me what i am. she was right, really. i would be nothing without her.

"you're doing it again." he said. at this point, i had stopped writing, staring off into space. "doing what?"

"that thing you do when you get all into your head. blaming yourself for everything. how many times do i have to tell you it's not your fault for you to get it in your head, man?" he said, sternly but gently.

i rolled my eyes. "you're wrong."

"how?"

"because i loved her, jolly. i fucking loved her, and i screwed it all up because i can never do anything right. i'll never be good enough. for myself, or anybody."

i buried my face in my hands, sobs racking my body once more. i never liked to be this vulnerable with anybody, even my closest friends. but honestly? i didn't give a fuck anymore. let them see.

"i know man. i know." he said, rubbing his hand over my back in an attempt to sooth me.

it pained jolly to see me like this. i knew that. but it was better to tell people of my thoughts than to keep it bottled up inside, right?

READERS POV.

i was making that damn song all the way till the early morning. i didn't even realize how late it had gotten until i woke up to my alarm. i had fallen asleep at my desk, my computer still running and everything. i didn't have work today, so that left me plenty of time to do whatever the hell i wanted.

months passed. months without seeing or talking to him. i would occasionally text the others, but i wouldn't dare send him a single text. i caught up a bit with folio and jolly, telling them about my ongoing journey with music. i still pursued photography as a side hustle, but my main focus was getting this song perfect.

it was almost done. almost ready to be released. maybe as an album? no, i can't get too carried away. music isn't for me. but as i listened to the song and made sure everything was right, my feelings began to change.

"i don't want it, and i don't want to want you. but in my dreams, i seem to be more honest. and i must admit, you've been in quite a few."

it wasn't a lie. he had began to show up more often in my dreams. not as nightmares, but as something that we could've been.

"Halley's Comet comes around more than i do. but you're all it takes for me to break a promise. silly me to fall in love with you."

that promise. that stupid promise.

"[y/n], please. let me explain-"

"no, noah! i don't care about your shitty explanations and your shitty behavior and your stupid face! i promise, i'll be just fine without you. leave me alone!"

"i haven't slept since sunday. mdnight for me is 3:00 a.m. for you. but my sleepless nights are better with you than nights could ever be alone, ooh-ooh-ooh. i was good at feeling nothing, now i'm hopeless. what a drag to love you like i do, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh."

it wasn't entirely a lie. when i imagined him in the bed next to me, it felt like i could sleep better. when i pretended everything was okay, everything felt lighter. the weight on my shoulders seemed to momentarily disappear, only to crash back down when i realized it was all just a fantasy.

"ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh. i've been loved before, but right now in this moment i feel more and more like i was made for you. for you. i'm sitting in my brother's room. haven't slept in a week or two, or two. i think i might have fallen in love. what am i to do?"

as the song ended, i found myself picking up my phone, going to his contact. i laughed softly to myself as i saw the contact. it was still the same. when everything was nice. when i wasn't all alone. i decided to jump the gun, shooting him a text.

i breathed out a sigh of relief. maybe he didn't hate me as much as i thought. i immediately thought back to the time i took it. when things were better. happier.

"come on! put it on!" i laughed, holding out the little plastic tiara to him. we had gone to disney world for a summer vacation, and i won a tiara from one of the game booths.

"i'm not putting that on." he said, his arms folded across his chest.

i pouted, looking up at him with those puppy dog eyes i knew he couldn't resist until he groaned, snatching the tiara from my hands and putting it on his head. despite his previously grumpy demeanor, he still wore a smile when i took the pictures.

i missed that.

the moment i saw him walk through those doors, it was like everything hit me all at once. he looked terrible. i did too, but definitely better in comparison.

"hi." i said softly.

"hi." he said back, sitting down in front of me with his hands in the pockets of his sweats.

i bit my lip as we sat in an awkward silence for a moment before i spoke.

"noah, i-"

"[y/n]-"

i couldn't help but smile softly as we spoke at the same time.

"you first." he said.

i took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself. "i know you've been through a lot, noah. and i should've taken that into consideration when i said all that shit. honestly, i haven't been doing too well myself, if you couldn't tell." i said, gesturing to myself.

"it sounds stupid as fuck, but it feels like theres this void in my chest that's just been so empty since i left. i miss you guys. i miss the band." i said.

he sensed there was something more. "but...?"

"but," i began. "i can't come back as the photographer. after i've recovered somewhat from everything, i realized photography isn't for me. i was to pursue something bigger."

"like?"

"music."

he raised his eyebrows. "you want to become a musician?"

"i know, it sounds absurd and like a child's dream, but i really think-"

"no, [y/n] that's fucking amazing." he said with a small laugh, leaning forward. i smiled slightly. there was that smile i missed.

"yeah?"

"yeah. i mean, i've only heard you sing a handful of times, but you're great. you're gonna make it big, trust me." he said.

my heart warmed at his words. "thank you." i said.

"look, [y/n], i'll be the first to admit how much of a douche i was to you. i've had time to think about it. to get over it and stop wallowing in self-pity. and i'm really sorry. i'm kinda shocked you didn't quit sooner, honestly. but, if you'd like, we could start fresh. you don't have to come back to the band, but we can hang out and shit. maybe i can help you with your music."

his words only made my smile brighten. "yeah, i'd like that. a lot. thank you."

"of course, princess."

after our little friend date, we went to his studio to work on some things. he showed me how different things worked and helped me on writing a song that i had been thinking about.

i bit my lip, jotting down a few lyrics in my notebook as he watched.

i don't really wanna know why you went there. i kinda don't care. you want to kill me? you want to hurt me? stop being flirty. it's kinda working.

i hummed a soft tune to myself as i read the lyrics, trying to figure out what would work right.

did you really think this is the right thing to do? is it news? news to who? that i really looked just like the rest of you.

noah snapped me out of my continuous thoughts, turning back to the computer. "i've been working on stuff, too." he said.

"yeah?"

he hummed in response, pulling up a file full of different songs. "pick one." he said, leaning back.

i bit my lip in thought before clicking on the one titled The Grey.

"evened the scores, then i let it all go fall apart. and every step forward put a little more sword in your heart, yeah. looking sideways when i say i'm okay with the past. but i'm afraid of what i might say if you ask."

i leaned back in my chair as i listened to the lyrics, knowing that this song could be about one of two people. me, or alyssa.

"gave you way too many chances, you ran through them all. got everything i could want but it wasn't enough. nobody left for me to talk to, nobody to call. got everything i could want but i still wanted more. yeah, i still wanted more."

the pure emotion in his voice was enough to make my heart break into pieces and clarify who it was about. i knew after what happened with her, he was broken. and this song was only proof.

"there's not another way, don't let me go. don't dig another grave today. i'll make the same mistakes, i'll never know who i was before i faded away into the grey."

the recording stopped, and my eyes darted from the screen to his face. "that's all i have right now." he said. "we have more sessions later this week to finish it."

i gulped. "noah..."

he looked at me and raised a brow. "what?"

"that was fucking beautiful."

i almost felt like i was going to cry. i always loved his voice, but that was on a whole other level. usually he was screaming. he never had those soft vocals like what i just heard.

he smiled softly. "thanks. now get in there."

i blinked, shaking my head. "sorry, what?"

"go on. get in the booth. i want to hear you sing this. we can figure something out."

"noah, i-" "don't argue. go."

i sighed, getting up and heading into the recording booth. maybe it would be okay. i wouldn't fuck it up. i put on the headphones, looking back up at him through the glass. "which one?" i asked.

he hummed, looking through the notebook i had left on the desk.

"what about my future? start it off strong."

i nodded, mentally preparing myself for whatever the hell was about to happen.

"i can't seem to focus, and you don't seem to notice i'm not here. i'm just a mirror. you check your complexion to find your reflection's all alone. i had to go. can't you hear me? i'm not coming home. do you understand? i've changed my plans. cause i, i'm in love with my future. and i, i'm in love. but not with anybody else. just wanna get to know myself."

it really was a beautiful song. and it was me putting all of my feelings on the line. the lyrics didn't have a deeper meaning to them like noah's often did. their meaning was just laid flat out. i changed my plans for the future, and i'm waiting to sort things out with myself before falling in love again.

"i know supposedly i'm lonely now. know i'm supposed to be unhappy without someone. but aren't i someone? i'd like to be your answer. cause you're so handsome. but i know better than to drive you home. cause you'd invite me in, and i'd be yours again."

the lyrics seemed to flow freely as i sang, my eyes closed and hands moving in random directions. i didn't even notice him staring.

"but i, i'm in love. with my future. and you don't know her, mm. and i, i'm in love. but not with anybody here. i'll see you in a couple years."

i opened my eyes and looked at noah, noticing how his mouth was slightly open. i laughed. "don't start drooling."

he shook himself out of his thoughts. "sorry, that was just. really fucking good. you're a natural, princess. i'm jealous." he said.

i rolled my eyes, stepping out of the booth.

"great, now let's work out a tune."

we spent hours and hours fixing up the song, getting carried away in our musical abilities. last time i checked, it was around 2 am. i didn't want to go home, so i suggested we took a little break and watched a movie or something. he nodded and we sat on the couch, turning on the tv (of course he turned on naruto). my head ended up lulling to the side, landing on his shoulder as i slowly fell asleep. the last thing my brain registered before falling into dreamland was the soft kiss on my forehead and his soft words.

"goodnight, princess."

his lips against mine felt like heaven. it felt like my whole life was complete when i kissed him, when i felt him. he felt like home. something i hadn't known in a long time. i pulled away, breathing slightly heavy as i looked into his chocolate brown eyes.

"noah.." i whispered.

he smiled softly and hummed.

"i fucking love you."

"mm.. [y/n]." he mumbled against my lips.

"princess."

"[Y/N]!"

[landhoe-norris]

Formula One Fanfic Masterlist

Carlando: Carlos Sainz & Lando Norris

Life After You [Chapters, Complete] 

Summary: Lando laid his hands on the lifeless chest of his fiancé's body, dressed in the suit he was supposed to get married in. He wanted to cry, to scream, to punch something. Everything had been taken away from him in the blink of an eye, and yet he couldn't mourn it. Not in the way he was expected to. He had shed tears when he had gotten the call, the voice on the other end telling him the man he was supposed to marry in two weeks had died in a car crash. But since then, there had been nothing. And now, on the weekend that was supposed to be the happiest of his life, he was watching his future being lowered into the ground.

all you have to do (stay) [One-Shot]

Summary: Lando doesn't quite know how it had evolved to this, how he had become the grid's trophy or consolation prize in some instances. All he knows is that it fills a void, gives him purpose, and makes him feel wanted.

He loves taking care of them.

But who's taking care of Lando?

the adventures of omega princess lando and his good boy, alpha carlos sainz jr [Series]

Summary: Lando is an omega princess who doesn't like to be told what to do, until he meets his new bodyguard, carlos sainz jr

the beauty of any first, is that it leads to a thousand others [One-Shot]

Summary: a snippets of firsts for carlos and lando

hanging by a moment (here with you) [One-Shot] Carlando + others

Summary: "Lando’s skin is golden from prolonged hours in the sun during summer break, and Carlos longs to kiss the juncture of his neck and shoulder where he’s especially sensitive. He wants to lick his way down to the perky nipples and graze his thumb over each one to make Lando shiver in excitement. But Carlos can wait; he’s perfected that."

or

Lando gets taken apart by Max and Charles, but in the end, only Carlos can make him experience pure ecstasy.

lando and carlos and carlos and carlos [Series] Carlando + others

Summary: Lando keeps making mistakes with men called Carlos. He keeps making mistakes until one night when he doesn't / Carlos watches and listens as Lando keeps making mistakes with men named Carlos, chipping away at his heart and mind until one night when he becomes whole again.

Good For You (I Just Wanna Be) [One-shot]

Summary: Carlos didn't expect this - to fall for his 19-year-old teammate. He also didn't expect his 19-year-old teammate to want to top him. And the last thing he expected was for Lando's dick to be this big.

But Carlos isn't complaining.

F1 Taskmaster edition [One-Shot]

Summary: Five teams, four drivers in each. A different task for each team, how will they handle it?

This is Taskmaster, F1 edition.

Black Velvet [Chapters, Complete]

Summary: Lando has gone through a lot in his life. When he was 13, his mom went missing, and he was left with a dad who wanted nothing to do with him. All of this has caused abandonment issues that make him cling to anyone who shows him kindness.

When he starts working at Sapphire, a strip club owned by Lewis Hamilton, he finally starts figuring himself out. But what he doesn't realise is that he's launching a chain of events that can ultimately lead him to lose everything he holds dear to his heart while simultaneously resurrecting the ghosts of his past.

Impractical Magic [Chapters, Complete]

Summary: Charles and Lando were born into a family where falling in love means you end up dead. They take different paths in life, Charles wanting nothing more in life than to feel the exhilaration love brings, and Lando too afraid to ever put himself out there.

When Charles gets into trouble with one of his boyfriends, Lando must figure out how to help him while trying his best not to fall in love with the one man who can take his life apart, Detective Carlos Sainz.

summer sweat [One-Shot]

Summary: "Now it's Carlos' turn to bite his lips. A moan almost escapes them, but he manages to hold back. Lando puts his lips on Carlos' earlobe and presses a soft kiss to it before whispering.

'I fingered myself in the bathroom. I'm ready.' It's an order, one that Carlos is barely able to deny.

'Not in front of your parents, Lando!' It's strangled; all of his energy is going into keeping his composure."

or

Carlos spends a hot summer day with Lando and his family, and Lando has some plans.

The Sins of the Father [Chapters, Complete]

Summary: Lando and Carlos are detectives that work together. Carlos is in a happy relationship, while Lando has a problem with settling down and spends his free time fucking around (and sometimes finding out).

Lando has emotional problems after his mother was murdered and his father had a mental breakdown resulting in him moving out of the country and leaving Lando with his former police partner and his wife. His mom's murder has never been solved, and when new evidence is brought up, Lando goes against everyone and everything he knows is right, to make sure that he can avenge her.

before you go [One-Shot]

Summary: "And then came the ultimatum. It was veiled as a proposition for a contract extension, but it was so much more than that.

The meaning was sharp and clear - Carlos needed to uphold an image, the traditional legacy of Ferrari. The proposal was simple, yet it tore through Carlos like a knife.

To secure his place in the team, to continue being part of the legacy he had craved since he was a young boy, Carlos was to enter into a public relationship with a woman, a facade to uphold traditional values."

Or

Carlos has a choice to make. Love or legacy?

don't look back (in anger) [Chapters, Complete]

Summary: Lando Wauman, a brilliant young engineer, shows up in to his new job in Maranello with a lot to prove but also with a secret and a plan for revenge. Lando quickly works his way up the ranks, but things get complicated when he falls in love with one of the drivers of the team he's trying to destroy.

You Found Me [Chapters, Complete]

Summary: Absolutely nothing had gone to plan. Lando had known that teaming up with the CNI was a bad idea, he didn’t trust them one bit. Especially Sainz, with who he had unfortunately been partnered.

or

Lando is MI6 and is forced to work with an arrogant CNI intelligence officer named Carlos.

Danger Zone [Chapters, Unfinished]

Summary: Lando "Baby" Norris. One of the youngest ever to be accepted into the TOPGUN program, where the best of the skies come together. There he has to come to terms with his past, the looming shadow of his father, his appetite for self-destruction and the fact that the guy with the slight Spanish accent makes his heart go faster than the plane he's flying.

buttered popcorn [One-Shot]

Summary: date night

Chaos in Egypt [Chapters, Unfinished]

Summary: Lando, George and Carlos reluctantly team up to find a lost city in Egypt, and chaos ensues.

Based on The Mummy (1999)

Charlos Sr: Carlos Sainz Sr & Charles Leclerc

papa carlos and his pillow princess [Series]

Summary: Charles and his teammate's dad. What could go wrong?

Carlando Sr: Carlos Sainz Sr & Lando Norris

he's not you but he'll have to do [One-Shot]

Summary: Lando wants Carlos and might even need him. But Carlos is in a relationship and has no interest in Lando.

Carlos Sr is the next best thing.

Other Pairings

worship me beneath the sheets [One-Shot] Charles/Lando/Daniel/Max

Summary: "It's so sensual, the way they're moving together, and Charles is lapping up the attention he's getting from both men. It's what he thrives on, craves, one of the reasons he became a model in the first place. All eyes are on him, always. He looks back up at Max only to see that he doesn't have his attention anymore, and neither does Daniel. He's looking over their shoulders. Charles wants to look behind to see what has captured his attention, but he's fairly stuck between their two bodies, so he doesn't; he just looks expectantly at Max as he holds out his hand. Charles can see a mop of curls come into his vision out of the corner of his eye, grabbing at Max's outstretched hand."

or

Best friends Daniel and Max meet strangers Charles and Lando at a club and take them back to their hotel.

the night belongs to lovers [One-Shot] Twitch Quartet

Summary: the twitch quartet celebrate in australia

[phpruitts]

'Thank you,'

Phoebe smiles again, and nods, but there was nothing that she had said that wasn't completely true. Rafael did look out for her. He gave her rides, took her out to dinners with crystalline glasses and carpaccio and expensive wines, but far beyond that, easily the kindest, most important thing to Phoebe ... Rafael did not look at her with condescension or judgement.

She was an ant, really, in a world as big as Rafael's. But that never seemed to influence the way he treated her. Or looked at her. Or spoke to her.

And to Phoebe, that alone was everything.

Rafael wraps an arm around her shoulder, tugs her in close on the couch, and then—

'There’s a lot you don’t know about me,'

'I don’t know if I want you to find it all out, to be honest,'

Phoebe straightens minutely. There was something subdued in his voice, a little quiet. What did he mean by that?

Work, maybe? Beyond his position in his father's business, handling expansions and investments and shareholder meetings, Phoebe would have to be stupid not to understand there were other aspects of Rafael's career. Serious stuff. Illegal stuff. Phoebe made a point to keep her nose out of where it didn't belong, but she would have to be blind, really, not to suspect that the Dahar's influence extended deep into the city, in avenues that went far beyond hotels or casinos.

But Phoebe had known this from the beginning. When Rafael had first started flirting with her, Phoebe was well aware who he was, and the more time they spent together, the more glimpses Phoebe would get— little things, because Rafael shielded her well, but just the deference he was shown, men coming to him at the club and speaking vaguely about shipments and meetings.

Yeah. Phoebe knew. And there were probably so many more things Rafael had shielded her from, and wouldn't want her to see, and even if Phoebe's mind could fill in the blanks, she just didn't ... care.

Phoebe didn't care if Rafael's daily workload could fill an episode of sensationalized tv.

Rafael was still the person whose first response, when he met Phoebe was, was kindness. But it was still hard to admit this much, wasn't it? It probably took a lot for Rafael to voice that kind of fear.

Her palm brushes along his cheekbone.

"Well. You don't have to share everything with me. If it's something you don't want to do." A beat. "But, uh ... I trust you. I always feel good with you, like safe, in a way I've never felt with other guys. So you should know I won't care about whatever you tell me. I'll still look at you the same."

A smile pulls at her lips, gentle, something flickering warmly behind her eyes as she stared at the man who cared for her so well.

Rafael liked how things were now; Phoebe too. There was nothing that Rafael could ever share with her that would change her opinion of him, or dampen the feelings she felt in her heart.

And Phoebe. Well. If anything, she felt like the fraud here, the one with a thin veneer glossing over an ugly past full of things dark and shameful. The syringes and the evictions and the crunch of glass and all the awful little apartments with awful silences and even more awful yelling, the nights spent with strangers, exchanges that left Phoebe feeling empty and awful. The man who she'd stayed with for weeks, months, who sometimes frightened her so bad she wanted to vomit. And the highs, and the things she did to keep those highs. Years and years of sacrificing everything for her highs.

Yeah. What if she told Rafael all about those things, and he rightfully felt different? Maybe saw her as pathetic, or gross, or someone he just didn't want to associate with.

Rafael had always been so kind to her, completely lacking in judgement, but the fear was still there.

Anxiety churns in her gut. Phoebe looks at that anxiety and does what comes natural now: she tucks her arm into one of Rafael's, and leans her abdomen into his solid frame.

"If it makes you feel better ... there's stuff, about me, that I worry would change your opinion of me."

It seemed obvious, but it hadn’t really occurred to Rafael that Phoebe saw him as something other than just … an intimidating rich asshole. This illusion that there was depth to Rafael felt… strange. It didn’t really seem possible to him. It had felt pretty impossible until Phoebe, and now… well. There were a lot of questions that Rafael wanted answers to, but they wouldn’t come from Phoebe.

Even though she’d offered to help, he had to figure some of it out on his own.

Rafael was nice to her right away. There was just something about Phoebe that drew him to her like a magnet. And over the months, those feelings had only become more intense. As the time went on, there was nothing that Rafael wouldn't have done for her.

“Thank you,” Rafael simply said.

It was endearing that Phoebe was willing to put up a fight about his kindness. She hadn’t seen him at work. Not in the office, but ... his real work. She hadn’t seen him in the hour before he showed up at her apartment. Fists aching and covered in blood. Making a call to dispose of a body on Christmas Eve.

He wrapped an arm around Phoebe, pulled her in close.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he told her. There was. Good and bad. Maybe she assumed, and there were rumors, but she didn’t really know. “I don’t know if I want you to find it all out, to be honest,” he said, voice quiet.

Would she think of him differently? If all of the rumors were true?

“I like the way things are right now,” he said, voice quiet.

It felt like a scary thing to admit.

[sunflower1experiment]

Another mouthwashing analysis

I feel like people forget that Jimmy’s character is important because it forces us to see his crimes and while it is uncomfortable and feels unnecessary.

That is the whole point of the game, what he did was unnecessary and it proves how unreliable he is and how realistic the story is. We have people like him in real life that cause these types of problems, hurt others like he did to Anya and Curly because in his pov he views them as useless or someone to clean up his mess whether he indirectly or directly caused it.

What he did to Anya, he blamed Curly, he’s blaming Curly for his crime against her. When Anya can’t handle feeding Curly the pills, she gets nauseous and upset. And there is a symbolic point in two ways, Jimmy getting angry at her for not handling/cleaning up HIS INDIRECT MESS and the fact that he expects her to act normally after Sa’ing her. Because he doesn’t see the problem, only when she asks for help or gets worried about the baby causing him problems so he runs away from the baby and belittles/ antagonizes her as if that was her fault he crashed it.

Now here’s the symbolism, Anya and Curly symbolizing each other because they both had to fawn and or ended up with flight/freeze. Because of Jimmy, Curly is not perfect or a good person and what happened to him isn’t karma.

The only karma he gets is being forced to watch Jimmy cause all of this chaos and then watching Jimmy crawl back to him and practically cannibalize Curly just because Curly isn’t here to clean up his mess.

Anya is young, so is Daisuke, they were both failed we got that bit but we also forget the part that Curly sort of symbolizes what it would be like for Anya if she had the baby with her abuser still roaming around.

Which causes her to get more depressed, his whole plan was to literally kill her and then he lies saying Curly crashed but we all know thats not true which where the irony comes in and my personal theory. Anya and Swansea probably knew especially when Anya told Swansea, and Swansea told Anya his plan.

Anya basically is giving up meanwhile Swansea was too busy getting drunk to take action when it was needed.

Now we all know this dance and repeated it many times but as a fandom we have to understand that Jimmy shows the worst in everyone as Anya said “Our worst moments don’t make us monsters” Jimmy was in his worst moment and he was portraying everyone in their worst moments meanwhile he was the monster of it all.

And he tries to repeat this quote but Polle (aka Anya) stops him. Because if that were true why did he SA her? Why did he think that he had nothing to lose? Why did he ruin Anya and Curly’s potential relationship/friendship just for a power stroke?

Because he saw Anya as an object and sees Curly as an airhead “Good Captain” whom Jimmy knows well because he was able to analyze Curly’s psych evaluation meanwhile Curly was barely able to analyze Jimmy.

They were never friends, Jimmy took advantage of Curly’s kindness and deems him this airhead, heart on the sleeve Captain. But he forgets that being a Captain comes all the stress.

Which cracks me up when he gets angry at having to do four tasks. This should’ve told everyone how useless he is, he didn’t even do anything for the past 2 months and made sure to blank that out until Anya asked for help, they saw the mouthwash and he was expecting everything to be normal.

No Jimmy, Anya is human, Swansea is human and Daisuke is human. You ruined a future doctor’s life, took a father/husband from his family and ruined a young man’s life. Because you couldn’t take responsibility.

He doesn’t even take responsibility for practically making everyone out to be people that they’re not. As he said and I quote “Pain is what makes one know you’re living.”

……..Anyone who hates him, I do not blame you, folks who like him, I still don’t blame you or anyone.

As long as folks aren’t toxic and bashing others about it, I don’t care.

We just gotta understand that when it comes to each pilot’s perspective. Jimmy’s is super unreliable meanwhile Curly’s is somewhat but he also fails terribly at being Captain. He keeps trying to be friend and Captain at the same time which is impossible unless you know how to juggle the responsibility of one of the crewmates acting out to challenge your authority.

Which is what Jimmy did twice….

And let’s also not forget that he was super selfish the whole time and when it came to judgement day. Him putting Curly in the cryopod and taking the cowardly way out, still selfish and doesn’t make him a hero. Instead it sorta makes him worse, he has all the potential to change as it shows in Swansea’s speech but doesn’t. Because he believes everything he is doing, is right.

Thats all I just wanted to rant because I always think about how he says “I’ll take care of it” he says it to Curly and practically ruins everyone’s life then says it to Anya twice and them proceeds to abuse Curly.

Then when Anya gets the chance to have her own authority, it’s to end it all. Which sucks for her because that’s how depressed she was and how stressful it was and Jimmy once again tries to make it seem like she breaks down all the time. When for 2-4 months she’s been handling Curly’s pills.

Meanwhile he broke down at having to do 5 tasks….which is actually crazy. The tasks sorta represent the months, just saying. He never did a single thing for those past months besides correct folks and talk about how he’s Captain now.

Okay Jimmy, and you can’t even be Captain. Under qualified as a pilot and under qualified as a Captain.

[lillaydee]

Uncoupled - The Beginning

Roommate! Joel Miller / Reader

Two people leaving their marriages ended up going through the mandatory one year separation together before filing for divorce.

Nothing could possibly happen in a year, right?

WARNINGS: Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel Bonding (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), No age gap, Roommate Joel, Teacher Joel, Handyman Joel, Insecure Joel, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning.

SERIES MASTER LIST

June

---

… Previously on Uncoupled …

(Sorry, couldn’t help myself – insert dramatic music here, if you prefer. In my head, it’s the L&O SVU two-note since Joel had apparently committed a serious offense)

She pleaded with him to stay, telling him she knew he didn’t really want to leave. Because if he did, he wouldn’t have left something extremely valuable to him with her at the house. Please, Joel, come back to me. I’ll do better, she said, practically grabbing his arm to lay in bed with her, before losing consciousness again.

His thoughts and reminisces of their past life was suddenly interrupted by his phone dinging. Someone had texted him. An unknown number.

‘You sure your girlfriend doesn’t want her husband back, Miller?’

A picture quickly followed. Joel could feel his heart drop to the floor, the picture blurry from his immediate tears, his insides turned ice cold.

Another text. From you, this time.

‘Max just stopped by. Something happened. I’ll explain when you get back, okay?’

And whatever warmth that his body had left just escaped his form altogether.  

**********

His phone was knocked out of his hand. It flew across the small room, hitting the wall before dropping on the ground, the screen cracked beyond recognition, darkened.

He turned around to see Jen, who he thought was unconscious, wide awake, glaring daggers at him.

“Why are you still thinking about her? You’re here with me. She cheated on you, Joel. If you could leave me for cheating, why won’t you leave her?”

Joel forced himself to stay calm. If there was one thing Maria and her colleague who was handling his divorce had told the two of you time and again, it was to stay calm. Be patient. Assume everything being done to you a trick to get evidence against you. Make you look bad in the divorce. So yes, he will stay calm. He wasn’t going to give her any ammunition. Not right now.

“How did you know she was cheating on me?”

Her face warped from anger to panic. She dismissively mentioned the picture someone just sent him.

“That was a kiss, which was somehow conveniently captured while it was happening. Weird how someone just happened to stand by to take a picture, wasn’t it? And let’s not forget, you kissed me too. And I’m definitely not cheating on Lily with you.”

He tried his best to get his feelings in check, despite his shaking hands and the turmoil going on in his heart. Even though he doubted you were willingly kissing Max, he couldn’t help the jealousy and anger that was spreading steadily throughout his body, as he was sure you would have felt if someone had sent you a picture of him and Jen kissing. As he was sure you felt when he told you she had kissed him.

“She fucked him, Joel. He told me. He went to the house sometimes when Ellie was napping after school.”

Bingo.

He knew she was lying. How could you have done that? He picked up Ellie, not you. If she was napping, it was either at his classroom or office, your bakery, or at home with him. Never with you alone. Not without him being present too. When you were not with him you were at the bakery, with Tess, Frank and Alice. He doubted they would have let you get away with such stupidity. Even if you went out for deliveries, Tess or Frank was always with you. And more importantly, he knew you wouldn’t do that to him, with Max, of all people. He trusted you with his life, let alone his heart.

He was angry. Angry she had stooped so low, angry that Max had stooped so low. That they were still trying to separate you and him, despite the two of you making it quite clear that you were not interested in reconciliation.

“Joel, honey, please. Can’t you see? She’s no good for you. Look, why don’t you come home with me? We can start over, I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll change, I promise. All this,” she said, gesturing to the room, the wires on her chest, the tubes going into her arm, “Had shown me how important you are to me, Joel. Life is short, honey, let’s not throw away 15 years of love for something so silly. Please? I need you right now, Joel. Are you really going to leave me alone after all this?”

Joel didn’t say anything.

“Joel, how could you stay with her after a few months when she did exactly what I did to you? We were together 15 years Joel! Is that how little you feel about me? Don’t you have any love left for me at all?”

Joel remined silent. His mind calculating his next move. He needed to call you. But his phone was shattered and dead on the other side of the room. And try as he might, he couldn’t remember your number. He cursed the fact that he hadn’t bothered remembering any numbers other than Tommy’s and his Mama’s. He could, he supposed, call them and have them warn you, but what if Jen noticed? She wasn’t letting him out of her sight, to the point of stubbornly fighting her anaesthesia.

He could just leave. But knowing that Max and Jen had gone out of their way to find reasons to split the two of you up, he was now worried that she would use his leaving in her condition as a way to turn the divorce around on him. Make him the guilty party. Worse, that it would make you look like the guilty party too. And he couldn’t, wouldn’t chance putting you and Ellie under any additional duress at this point. You were so close. One week.

“Joel, come back. If you do, I’ll give you back what you thought you had lost. Surely that baker and the little orphan are not worth losing a pretty penny?”

His head snapped towards his soon to be ex-wife at this statement.

Just like that, he knew what he had to do.

**********

You stood in the doorway of Ellie’s room for what felt like hours, watching the little girl sleep, tears falling down your face, wondering how on earth you were going to tell her Joel had left. You couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe Joel would fall for such a stupid manipulation. Someone took a picture of the kiss. Who? You were not a celebrity. Why would someone stand by in front of your house with a camera to capture a kiss between you and your soon to be ex-husband?

You were suddenly angry. At Joel. He told you Jen kissed him. And as much as you wanted to tear her face off for that, you stood by him. Believed him when he said he didn’t want the kiss. How could he just leave without listening to your half of the story?

You went into your closet to ‘help’ him pack. You were seething. He wanted out? Fine. You’ll help. He didn’t even have to come back for the rest of his stuff. You’ll pay someone to deliver them to him.

But when you opened your closet, you were dumbstruck to find all his belongings, his clothes, his books, his toiletries, were all still where they were before he left. What the heck did he pack into those suitcases?

This wasn’t making any sense.

Your phone dinged. You went to the living room where you left it. Pictures of Joel carrying his suitcases back into his marital home, Jen in tow, flooded your screen. All from Max. You tried Joel’s number again, still straight to voicemail. You texted him again, still undelivered.

Fuck, you were going crazy. You didn’t want to call anyone, lest they, namely Bill, decided to go out on a warpath and tear Joel’s head off. Not when you yourself was still confused and unsure of what was going on.

Max called you. Again and again. You didn’t pick up. At this point, you needed to be very careful with him. You always were before, listening to Maria’s advice. Never picking up, never replying his texts. You cursed your weakness for letting him hug you earlier. Cursed the fact that you felt obliged to let him, that you were, in no small way, mourning the end of the marriage you had with him.

You tried to recall what happened when he came home. But you found yourself encased in the memory of Jen’s smug face, pushing the fact that Joel had decided to go back to her into yours, the flood of emotion you were feeling, the defeat, the confusion, and try as you might, you couldn’t get the image of her wedding ring on her finger out of your mind. Was Joel wearing his? What did he say to you before he left?

He’ll be back for the rest of his stuff.

Fuck. Your head was swimming. You found yourself sitting numbly on your couch, the one you always snuggled with Joel on, laying yourself down and pulling the blanket draped across the back over yourself, Joel’s smell still on it, and closed your eyes, ignoring the stubborn tears that fell as you tried your hardest to fall asleep, hopefully waking up when this nightmare was over.

God, you hoped this was just that. A nightmare.

**********

The sound of his pick-up truck driving up your driveway woke you. You sat up, waiting for whatever may come next. Although groggy, your mind was fresh with today’s happenings. You felt helpless, confused, really not knowing what to expect. The sounds of doors opening and closing caused you to sit frozen. Was there someone with him? You knew that was his truck. But your heard two doors opening and closing. Did he bring Jen back here with him?

The sounds of a key being inserted into the lock and the jiggle that followed was perhaps the loudest sounds you had ever heard in your entire life. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t breathe. You felt your tears were readily pooling behind your eyeballs, just ready to be pushed out at a moment’s notice.

The door opened, and Joel walked in, carrying the two suitcases he had brought out with him back in. He saw you immediately, and your tears found their way out uncontrollably. He took long strides and sat next to you, pulling you into his arms, placing you on his lap, hugging you tight, kissing your temple over and over again, telling you he’s sorry, he didn’t have a way of telling you. He had to do it, he couldn’t chance Jen knowing. He’s so sorry.

“Joel, he tricked me, I didn’t want to kiss him, he pretended to come over to bring the rest of my things and he asked for a hug and I was so stupid…”

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay, I believe you. No, baby, don’t cry. I’m not mad at you. I know they planned this. Shh… shh… no baby, I’m not going anywhere, I’m here. I’m sorry I scared you… I’m not leaving you. I’m never leaving you. Shh… shh…”

He kept coaxing you, comforting you, holding you close, until you calmed down. When you finally pulled back from him, his own eyes were filled with tears, apologizing to you for scaring you, before pulling his phone out, showing you its shattered carcass.

He told you everything that happened at the hospital. He told you why he had to come back and pull what he pulled – he had to, to retrieve something that was invaluable to him. Something he thought he had lost years ago. Something he had not even thought of this past year, already accepting he had lost it, or so he thought.

He pulled a broken piece of thick black string out of his pocket, tied to a worn out penny with a tiny hole drilled into it. You took it from him. The penny was so worn out parts of it were missing, no longer round nor smooth around the edges. You looked at him, confusion in your eyes. He put you through all that, for this?

“My late Papa taught me how to play the guitar. This was the penny he used as a pick. He used to wear this string around his wrist. He only took it off when he wanted to play. When he died, I wore it around mine. Never took it off. I only stopped using it as a pick when it started to fall apart,” he told you, running his thumb on the uneven edge. “It fell off my wrist one day, I just looked down and saw that it wasn’t there anymore. I looked for it for weeks, months, and finally I gave up, figuring it fell somewhere when I was out and about.”

He took it back from you, looked at it for a long time, before continuing.

“Today, I found out she had found it and kept it. Never told me. She knew how much this meant to me. My Mama kept his wedding band, Tommy kept his watch, and I kept this. It’s all I have of his.”

You laid your head on his chest and traced your finger around the penny in his palm. He closed his hand around yours, kissing you on the temple, inhaling your scent in as long as he could.

“She told me that she would give it back to me, if I agree to go back home with her. I wasn’t planning to come home first, but she insisted. I had to, she threatened to destroy this. I couldn’t call you to warn you, I was kind of hoping you would be at the bakery. When I agreed, she took out her wedding band and put it back on. I’m sorry for whatever she said to you. I tried to be as fast as I could, minimize the damage, you know? Took empty suitcases with me to make her believe I was going back. But clearly, she did what she did. I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. But it’s over, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. I just really wanted this back. I wanted to give it to Ellie one day, you know? My Papa taught me the guitar, and I’m teaching Ellie, and I wanted to pass this on to her one day.”

“Like an heirloom?”

“If it’s too presumptive of me…”

“No… it’s perfect.”

He interlaced his fingers with yours, the penny in between your palms.

“I love you, Lily, I’ve been in love with you for a while, I didn’t say it because I thought it was too soon, but thinking I could’ve lost you today, I can’t hold it in anymore. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and Ellie. I’m so sorry. Please understand, I didn’t mean to scare you like that, much less hurt you. Please.”

He held your forehead close to his own, begging you to forgive him. You kissed him in response, telling him you forgave him, and asked that he forgave you too. He told you there was nothing for him to forgive, lifting you up and taking you to bed, where he proved to you again and again that his love was only for you, and that he was never leaving you as long as he was breathing.

As he held you close in his arms that night, you told him you loved him too.

**********

Joel went over to the new neighbour’s house the next morning before school and came back with a huge smile on his face. He told you to expect some texts from them, since his phone was still out of commission. He took Ellie’s phone with him to school just so you had a way of calling him if needed, the little girl thankfully clueless about yesterday’s drama.

You received a video from the young man down the street, immediately going to Joel’s classroom to show him. He took you to the staff common room, where Lucy was idly going through her phone, a cup of noodle in her hand. She looked a bit uneasy seeing you there but managed a smile regardless. Joel sat next to her, asking her what she was doing in front of his house the day before.

“What? I wasn’t in front of your house. I don’t know where you live,” she said, rather defensively.

He showed her the video in return, a security camera the young men had installed on their driveway, where she could clearly be seen standing just off your driveway with her phone in hand.

Her face turned chalk white.

“Listen, remember the Christmas concert? When you kissed me against my will? That was sexual harassment, Lucy, in case you didn’t know. I haven’t told anyone about it, didn’t want to ruin your career or anything, but I will, if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”

“I didn’t kiss you at the Christmas concert,” she attempted, panic surrounding her. She didn’t think of it that way, obviously.

“I saw it, I was there. I can talk too,” you quickly supplied.

Lucy deflated. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and told Joel that Jen had approached her. She was looking for Joel one day and heard Lucy telling another teacher about her unrequited crush on Joel and her lame attempts to forget him – going after the new Maths teacher hoping that she could forget Joel. It wasn’t working. Jen offered a very lucrative payment if she would just help Max out with the picture. She figured, why not? If she couldn’t have him, the least she could do was make sure you couldn’t have him either, make a few bucks in the process. So she went to your place at the agreed time, took some pictures and sent them to Max.

She agreed to give a statement to Maria in case Max tried to use the picture against you in the divorce, and apologized for the trouble she may have caused, looking very ashamed of herself. Joel quickly asked her to go to his classroom with the two of you so you could arrange a Zoom session with Maria for the statement. The sooner the better.

Just as the three of you left the common room, you ran into Jen, who had come in looking for Joel, stomping her way towards the common room. Her initially indignant face snapped shut the moment Lucy came out, knowing that she had talked.

She took a deep breath, tried to put on a smile and stepped closer to Joel, who immediately pulled you behind him, just in case.

“You said you would come back to me.”

“No, I said I would go home with you, and I did. I didn’t say I would stay married to you.”

“You drugged me, stole my belonging and left me to die!” her perfect teeth were so gritted at this point you could hear them squeak.

You could see why Joel said she was not as beautiful as you thought she was. She looked like a deranged Barbie. Even Lucy was taken aback.

“No, I gave you your prescribed medication, took my belonging, and left when you fell asleep.”

“And you,” she snarled at Lucy, making the leggy blonde take a step back, “You owe me ten thousand dollars!”

“Really? For what?” you asked, an innocent look on your face.

Jen made to grab at you, but Joel stopped her, “Do it, and I will take everything you have with me,” he said, “I’ve been nice, all I ask is you leave us alone. But do this, push my patience, and you will see just how vengeful I can get. Try me, Jen.”

He looked so serious, Jen shrunk back. Never in all the years she had known him had she ever seen him this angry. It actually scared her. It suddenly occurred to her he had never snapped in all the years she had known him, not even when he caught her cheating on him, and now, when the safety of the woman he loved was threatened, he might actually hit his limit.

She stared at him for a while, before finally coming to her senses. She shook her head in defeat, turned around and left.

**********

You walked out of the meeting room with Maria, arms around each other, thanking her for coming in to settle this during her maternity leave. She insisted, really. You would have been fine if one of her associates had come in in her stead. No, we’re sisters now. Sisters help each other, she assured you.

The door to the meeting room opposite yours opened, and Joel walked out, immediately coming to you and Maria, giving her a kiss on the cheek and hugging her before taking you into his arms, both of you releasing thankful breaths.

Honestly, the two of you had never felt lighter or happier. It’s all over. Papers were willingly signed, no drama.

Max and Jen finally accepted defeat, realizing that you and Joel were never going back to them. Max even apologized, actually cooperating throughout the entire process. He knew he was defeated when Joel seemed unphased by the picture of the kiss – he had to admit that Joel was a bigger man than he was – he knew he wouldn’t have accepted it if it were him. And ultimately, he accepted that Joel really did love you for who you were, unlike him. Despite her cooperation, Jen didn’t speak to you or Joel again without her lawyer present, worried Joel would actually stay true to his words and take her to the cleaners.

The three of you walked into the bakery where everyone was waiting, Jackson happily cooing in his Uncle Bill’s arms, Ellie making funny faces at him. There was no problem finding willing babysitters in this family, Frank had said.

The family toasted the happy occasion, and the possibility of many more to come. Joel held you in one arm, Ellie in the other, looking so content and happy he could burst. He gave Ellie a slobbery kiss and turned to give you one, Ellie immediately making a face and climbing down from his hold.

“God, they’re worse than my parents!”

**********

“Joel!”

Hmm?

“Joel! Wake up!”

Joel opened one eye, feeling way too comfortable to open both. He had you in his arms, his bed all warm, his face full of your smell.

“Joel!”

“What?”

“Wake up!”

He lifted his head up, looked at the alarm next to your side of the bed. It’s 5 am.

“What are you doing up? You have school in a few hours. Go back to sleep. First day of big girl school! Yay!” he said sleepily, before burying his face in your hair again.

“Joel! Where’s your wife?”

What? He’s holding you. You’re right…

He lifted his head and looked at you. Only it wasn’t you he was hugging. It was your pillow, and that darned furry blanket his Mama had knitted for you that you suddenly couldn’t live without.

He shot up. Ellie was looking at him, judgment in her eyes, arms crossed on her chest.

“Her car is gone. I thought I heard someone leave. I thought she wasn’t supposed to go to the bakery today.”

“She wasn’t. She hasn’t since last week.”

He leapt out of bed and knocked on the guest bedroom. Anita answered, eyes bleary from sleep.

“Lily’s gone,” Joel shouted at her, getting dressed as fast as he could, almost falling face first into the closet door trying to get his jeans on. “Ellie! Go back to bed. Mama, watch her will you?”

“No, I’m going with you,” Ellie protested, already pulling her jacket on. Anita joined her, magically dressed, ridding the crusts in her eyes.

Joel didn’t even want to stop to protest. He grabbed his keys and ran out, peeling out as soon as Anita buckled Ellie in from her seat. His phone rang just as he pulled in behind the bakery, parked right in between your car and Tess’s, almost ramming into Frank’s. He jumped out, almost bulldozing Tess over as she opened the service door for him.

“I was just calling…” she started, giving up as he ran in to find you. “She’s nesting,” she told Anita, “In front of the oven,” she pulled Ellie in for a hug, shutting the door behind her.

You were on all fours in front of the oven, watching the croissants rise, breathing in through your nose, releasing through your mouth, sweating profusely. Frank sat next to you, breathing with you.

Joel squatted next to you, choosing his words carefully.

“Baby, what are you doing here? You were supposed to be in bed, resting.”

“I’m fine, I just wanted to make sure the croissants are oohhh!!!” your body stiffened, and your breathing quickened, sweat pooling on your forehead.

Joel froze.

“Erm, sweetie, I think your wife’s in labour,” Anita said, immediately getting behind you to rub your back.

“What? She’s not due for another week!”

“Babies do come early, sweetie. Lily, honey, when did your contractions start?”

You calmed down a little, “Yesterday morning,” you told her.

Joel fell on his ass. “Why didn’t you tell me? You seemed fine… I thought…”

“It wasn’t that strong… I thought it was just those Braxton thingies. I’m fine. Ooooh!!!”

“Okay, sweetie, that’s far too close for comfort. Hospital, now!” Frank said, helping you up.

“No, the croissants…”

“The croissants will be fine. Come on, now,” Tess chimed in, helping Frank get you up.

“But Ellie’s first day of school…”

“She���ll be fine, honey, that’s what I’m here for,” Anita said, helping you walk out to Joel’s truck.

Ellie came to hug you, trying hard not to let you see her worries. She was so scared for you, but excited to meet her little brother or sister.

“I’m so sorry I can’t send you to school today, Bellie,” you told her, hugging her tight. “Anita, my bag, in my trunk.”

“I’ve got it,” Frank said, shutting your trunk, your bag and pillow in his hands. He placed them in the passenger seat of Joel’s truck.

“I love you Beans, you can do this, okay? Love you so much,” Ellie said, not letting you go.

“I’ll take her to the hospital after school. I’ll go over after she’s settled. Take some of Joel’s stuff with me,” Anita told you, gently peeling Ellie off you, giving you a hug as well, telling you she will see you soon. Tess and Frank did the same, giving you kisses. They’ll take turns visiting later, they told you. They’ll call everyone.

Okay, you nodded, as Frank helped buckle you in and closed the door for you. Okay, you’re all set.

Except, the driver, your husband, your rock, was not there.

They found him still sitting, frozen in place in front of the oven, a panicked look on his face. It took a few minutes of coaxing from Anita to get him to calm down and finally snapping back into reality before running out to you, helping you breathe through another contraction. He hugged you, kissed you, apologizing for panicking, before putting the gear in reverse and taking you to the hospital.

**********

It had been quite a ride. During those first few weeks after he left Jen, Joel often found himself wishing that the 15 years he was with Jen didn’t happen. They brought him to where he was then, a broken, defeated man at 30, single for the first time in his adult life, not knowing where life would take him, wondering if he would ever be happy again.

But right now, as he watched his brand new BabyGirl feed, he knew everything that had happened, happened for a reason. Never in his life did he ever think he could be this happy. No amount of service, kisses, hugs, money, even love, could ever repay his debt to you for how happy he was at this very moment.

Things were surprisingly calm after the divorces were finalized.

The bakery was doing well. Business picked up, and you ended up hiring two more staff to help with the demand.

Joel proposed to you after only six months. The two of you married at City Hall, with only the usual suspects in attendance. Benny even made a surprise appearance. Your reception was a potluck barbeque in your now gorgeous backyard. Joel rented a small cabin in the mountains for your honeymoon. There was no extravagance, no over the top ceremonies. Just the people you loved, celebrating the two of you.

Your house was now devoid of the ugly carpeting you hated. And Joel stripped and repainted the kitchen cabinetry to make your kitchen look brand new again.

It’s home.

Lucy transferred to another district, embarrassed at the way she had been acting throughout that year, opting to start anew in a brand new place.

Max accepted a job overseas, selling his house, and in a surprising move, gave you half of the profits, his way of apologizing for treating you so badly over the years. He actually shook Joel’s hand, congratulating the two of you on your marriage, wishing both of you well. He texted you a congratulations when he found out the two of you were expecting.

Jen left the city soon after the divorce. Last you heard she was somewhere in Europe, living as one of those van-lifers. She had a travel blog, apparently, not that you or Joel ever saw the blog. She had never contacted you or Joel again.

A soft knock came from the door. Anita came in, a nervous Ellie following behind. Her little face lit up as she saw your new daughter. Joel lifted her up and hugged her tightly, asking her if she was ready to meet her sister. She nodded excitedly. Joel placed her next to you in bed, sitting on the edge of the bed next to her. You placed your now sleeping daughter in her waiting arms, and Ellie carefully held the tiny little girl, hand supporting her neck and head, just as she had practiced at home.

“Hi Sarah,” she said to the sleeping tot. “I’m your big sister, Ellie.”

She gave her sister gentle kisses, and little Sarah opened her eyes slightly to look at her big sister, before closing them again, sleeping contentedly in her arms.

“Look over here, everyone,” Anita said softly, “Smile!” and snapped the first official picture of the new Millers.

Joel kissed you on your forehead, his arm stretching protectively around his ladies. He knew right there and then that he would suffer through those 15 years over and over again if he had to, knowing that it would bring him here, to his very own little piece of heaven.

THE END

[themurdochmemesteries]

Some surprise Malcoshi for @deadheaddaisy It's angsty, because that's what I do, but I hope you like it.

Also on ao3.

She finds him in the armoury, alone, picking apart a phase pistol. Exactly where she suspected he’d be. He has his back to her and doesn’t seem to hear her come in. Hoshi frowns. It’s not often one can catch the ever-perceptive Lieutenant Reed off guard, so she ensures her footsteps are loud as she walks closer. When he still doesn’t lift his head, she clears her throat.

He whirls around so suddenly he almost teeters off balance. Seeing her, he relaxes ever so subtly. “Hoshi,” he breathes.

“Hey, Malcolm.” For all her extensive vocabulary, Hoshi is, for once, at a loss for words. A dozen or so different things she could say crowd at the tip of her tongue—questions, apologies—but none of them feel right. So instead her eyes flick to the phase pistol lying in pieces on the desk. “What are you working on?”

Malcolm glances back, running his fingers through his hair. “Erm, replacing a power pack.”

“I see.”

He turns back around to face her. “Was there something you needed?”

“I just came to see if you were alright,” Hoshi says, and even as the words leave her lips, she notices Malcolm stiffen almost imperceptibly.

“I’m fine,” he says immediately.

Hoshi’s expression softens. “What you went through-”

“Was nothing.” And there’s another uncharacteristic moment, for Malcolm hardly ever interrupts anyone. “I’m fine,” he says again.

“Sure. But… it’s okay to not be, you know.”

“I know.”

They stare at each other for a few seconds.

Hoshi takes a deep breath. “Captain Archer told me. About your fear.”

And Malcolm stiffens again, his spine ramrod straight, jaw set, shoulders tense. “Is that so,” he bites out.

“The aliens… What they did was inexcusable. Regardless of whether or not ‘tests of strength’ are their tradition.”

“It was the only way to get them to talk to us.”

Hoshi frowns. “But we didn’t have to.”

“We needed the dilithium.” Malcolm turns back to the worktable, but Hoshi is nothing if not persistent—and stubborn.

“Someone else could have gone. But you volunteered. Why?”

Malcolm doesn’t answer.

Hoshi takes a step closer. “Why, Malcolm?”

Still not a word.

Hoshi grits her teeth, anger flooding through her—but not directed at the man she’s held secret affections for for the past two years. Towards the aliens who returned him to sickbay two days ago, sopping wet and borderline catatonic. “They locked you in a box and left you to drown!” she exclaims.

“I know that!” Malcolm hisses.

Hoshi grabs his shoulders and spins him around. “So why did you do it?”

He shuts his eyes.

She shakes him. “Why, Malcolm?”

He purses his lips, once again not responding.

“Do you know how difficult it was seeing you like that?” Hoshi whispers hoarsely.

He glances away. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” she says. “Tell me why.”

He’s silent for a moment, and Hoshi worries he’s not going to answer again, but then he opens his mouth.

“They told us, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link,” he says in a quiet voice. “If I couldn’t face my fears…” He swallows thickly, tears crowding at his eyes.

“You’re not weak,” Hoshi assures him. “It’s their system that’s bullshit.”

He shakes his head, hands coming up to rest on her own, which still grip his shoulders loosely. He hangs his head. “I cried for help,” he whispers. “When the water got too high. I cried out for someone to save me. I couldn’t handle it.”

“I’d do the same, if I was suddenly stuck in a shrinking box,” Hoshi points out.

“You’re not the security officer.”

“But we are both human.” She reaches up, cupping his face, and to her surprise he leans into it and closes his eyes. “We can’t help that.”

He draws in a shuddering breath. “I was scared…”

“I know,” she says.

And then suddenly he’s leaning forward, burying his face in the crook of her neck and soon Hoshi feels hot tears against her skin, dampening her uniform, and before she knows it her arms are wrapped around him. “It’s alright,” she murmurs, “no one can hurt you anymore,” and she holds him as he slumps in her arms and breaks down.

[meamiki]

[reverse entry au]

oh to ask a question and immediately get hit with email puns instead ASFASDA

[dykedvonte]

I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.

I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.

It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.

There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.

[wonho-ssi]