#that they believe don't really involve anyone of any note and aren't a good use of public resources

[lesamis]

📠

one thing i like about the new job is that public service really drives home how diverse and interesting any random sample of people actually is. you kind of can't keep thinking that there's one single way in which ordinary life typically goes when you're dropped into the middle of other people's lives on a daily basis. like within two weeks at a public service job in the most boring town imaginable someone will come in and be like hi i'm blind, can i have some adjustments for my advanced degree. hi my grandmother died, can i have an extension. hi i moved here from taiwan literally two months ago and misunderstood some instructions, can i repeat this process. hi i'm competing at the olympics, can i put my studies on hold.

there's just this certain kind of rhetoric that wants to make you belive that A Normal Person is this or that and their life goes this or that way, when really there's no limit to the chaos of human experience or to the endlessly new-shuffled variations of Circumstances and i'd defy anyone who believes otherwise to keep believing it after one day in public service

[glassica]

Surprise boyfriend

Notes: M!yan x F!reader, non-con, sexual language, cursing, pregnancy trapping, blackmailing threats

"Hey Y/N, heard you go out with Ray right?"

You spat out the remaining cold brew. You? Go out with whom???

People must've assumed you were into him after seeing your exchanges at the party. But you swear that wasn't that serious at all! You were just fooling around to kill time!

- No. Who told you that?

- Ray posted about you all over his insta. Yeah right you don't use that app... But what do you mean you two aren't dating!?

You took one look at your friend's phone. Lo and behold, countless pictures of you and him holding hands and acting all lovey-dovey like a real couple. Your brain juggled through the hazy memories to see when the selfies were taken but oh dear, you were so drunk off the mind on that night to recall everything.

- Ray, excuse me. Do you have a moment?

- Sweetie I always have time for you. What do baby want from me now? ~

His cheesy line brought shattering earthquakes to your brain. God this man had zero shame, or you had been cursed to carry the embarrassment baggage on his behalf. "If we were alone I'd rip his ass off right instant." - you thought. "And I'll never have time for your goofy ass."

- I believe you misunderstood our relationship. I must've said something deceitful to you during at the party and I'll take responsibility for that. I don't plan to date you or anyone, Ray. I'm so sorry for misleading you.

You spoke in a remorseful tone. Though not able to recollect what nonsense the mouth had blabbered, you felt like owning him an apology regardless. Kids this was why you should never let peer pressure get to you and drink over limits, you never knew if one day you accidentally being entangled with some jackass.

Surprisingly Ray's expression didn't seem to fazed for a bit. On the contrary, the grin on his face got even more ominous and deranged, alerted your sixth sense that nothing coming out from this man was any good: It was a grave mistake involving him in your life.

"My baby wanna break up with me? Oh sweetheart how could you abandon me like that? Have you forgot your little promises to me about love and loyalty? Didn't you say I was your type, that your greatest wish was to be wrapped in my arms every night and showered your body with plenty of kisses?"

Freak. Weirdo. Creep.

How could anyone breath in the same direction of this guy and not get their skin crawled for a second? You were both amused and pissed off witnessing this whole circus show, wondering how out mind you were last Friday to be attracted to this walking joke of a man.

Get this over quickly, or you would end up committing some atrocities on that stupid face.

"I wasn't sober at the time. I must've been spewing rubbish. I'm really sorry for lying to you Ray, but can you please take down those pictures?"

"Why should I? I need to show off everyone my Sweetie's already taken, so that no one could touch you. Besides," - Ray tucked his head over your shoulder, the eerily off-putting grin grew even wider as he whispered softly to your ears, "those pics aren't the only proof of our unshakable bond."

He trailed off, calmly put a hand on your belly.

Your mind went blank.

"BITCH! YOU FUCKING RAPED ME!?"

"Now now. You hurt my heart, Sweetie. How could you accuse me of such heinous crime when all I did so much to give you such good time on bed? And don't lie, your pussy was cumming hard for my crotch. I still can recall those pretty little buds-"

Just then, Ray felt a burning heat on his left cheek. You were done. Completely dropped off manners. Eyes flaming with disgust and resentment while both hands clenching fist furiously, you became a wild animal determined to chew off its prey to the bone. You didn't care about anything else, any consequences after, your absolute goal at the moment was to tear this asshole to shreds.

But Ray was infuritatingly nonchalant, cocky even. He wasn't bothered for a bit when facing your wrath. Rubbing hand on the reddish cheek, he continued:

"Don't you believe you can brush your hand away from me, love. I don't like anyone seeing my angel in her purest form, but I have no problem releasing those clips."

A sadistic chuckle let out of his mouth observing the bloodthirst drained out from your face. If you didn't want him as your prince, then he wouldn't hesitate becoming the big bad villain tainting your life forever.

Ray caught your lifeless body in a loving embrace, just like that Friday night, and many more nights in the future.

[ctheathy]

Hey is it ok If i request platonic yandere iscream and fwench fry x child reader that somehow is they're bio child... Like they don't know how they Just know that we appered one day and Here we are... Have a nice day/night 💜💛 (sorry for Errors)

Yandere Iscream and Yandere Fwench Fwy w/ their biological child

Iscream x Reader x Fwench Fwy

Yandere Headcanons

Short Concept

Author’s note: This request is adorable!! These two would dedicate their lives and potentially end the literal world for a youngling of their own.

Iscream/Reader/Fwench Fwy [Platonic]

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Toxic parenting • Vulnerable/Easily influenced reader • Blood rituals mentioned • Forcing the child within morally questionable interests • Childishness/Narcissism(?) • Tantrums • Bloodthirst • Violent intrusive thoughts • Sweetie, you ain't gonna be raised good

- Iscream:

I personally interpret Iscream as much more clingy and hungry for attention as a yandere. They'd honestly behave too much like an attention seeking child themselves to give you the proper care for growing up in a healthy environment. A creature so desperate for attention and affection would cling to anyone who would offer it. Children are often known to be selfish and will often choose their own profit instead of looking out for those around them. And Iscream is no different here. They'll still care deeply for you of course, but they're just not capable of holding the role of a good parental figure, which is where things can go wrong fast.

A big problem regarding Iscream is that they prioritise their sense of validation more than caring for you like a proper, responsible adult. Just tagging you along to do activities they deem as exciting and mind-blowing enough for their liking, which would obviously be a huge ride of entertainment for a literal child... And though it might keep your adventure-craving mind entertained and happy, it isn't a very suitable way to be raising a child. They're prioritising having the role as the "fun parent" over what's actually good for you and your development. Their behaviour having a major influence on your sense of thoughts, maturity and eventual mentality. Which, though remotely enjoyable during your youthful days, is something that could really, negatively affect you in the long run.

Due to the fact that the schemes they plan and the morally concerning interests they have aren't really supported among the other characters, Iscream is quick to try and get influential with the strange things they enjoy doing. Therefore forcing their inappropriate hobbies onto you, who of course, doesn't know any better due to being so young and vulnerable. You wouldn't know any better and would likely deem a bunch of demon rituals and blood offerings as normal, even when it's clearly not. Something which may also come off as surprising is the fact that they are more laid-back regarding violence and overprotection than Fwench Fwy is. Although demon rituals are occasionally used excuse-wise to keep those around you obedient with the threatening blackmail, Iscream is a lot more hands off while their partner is more overbearing and involved in the emotional aspect of their child's life.

Because they'd be so desperate to come off as a good "role model" for their child, this would usually result in them dragging you along with some rather questionable activities, revealing sights to you that a newborn absolutely shouldn't be exposed to at such a young age. They would want you to feel impressed by what they're showing off to you and either gain praise or showcase interest for it. Something when not provided, is quick to put Iscream in a homicidal mood for a while or sometimes cause a tantrum.

A habit which I believe is easily capable of making a literal child feel guilty, afraid and misunderstood. You wouldn't even have the ability to slowly develop an identity of your own. Because Iscream would love to see your personality match their own, as selfish and narcissistic as that sounds. I've mentioned it before and I'll say it again, but somebody with an irresponsible and childish mentality doesn't have the qualities to care for a kid. They may be talented when it comes to entertaining you through physical activities and such, but they absolutely cannot be considered attentive to your emotional needs. Iscream cannot see and is not ready to accept that you aren't an extension of them. Failing to see that you're your own individual with separate feelings from theirs, and who will eventually grow up to be independent. Hereby struggling to be genuinely supportive.

- Fwench Fwy:

Fwenchie here is a bit more complicated than their partner is ...not only do they have a reputation to uphold among those they consider their friends. But they're also known to be an inspirational and wise figure to the others, a role Fwench Fwy takes pride in and something they don't want to risk losing. As soon as you made your appearance in the dragon's life, they were over the moon. They would take no hesitation in taking responsibility for you and caring for you like a real parent would. And they are definitely somewhat clingy and overbearing with it, constantly close to you and watching you, asking if you need your ‘mommy’ to do something for you. Trying to guide you through life by holding you by the hand.

And from an outside perspective, they genuinely seem like a good parent to you. Maybe a bit much sometime, but still holds good intentions nonetheless ...right? But when paying good attention, you'll start to notice just how consistent they are with it. Despite now also holding the role as a very nurturing parent, there's definitely a flaw that's quick upon being noticed when it comes to Fwench Fwy. Something that also includes the wish granting and isn't something the other characters would often consider to talk about or see it as strange.

Throughout Fwenchie's time with the others, they've been known to be quite casual with their powers, not having a lot of limitations with them... And only an occasional rejection being given when asked for a wish, often for thoughtful and somewhat understandable reasons. The same would of course count for you. You get your wishes when you ask for them, nothing too out of the ordinary here. But where the difference sets in with just how careless Fwench Fwy behaves with it...

Children are often known to get excited and reckless when their offerings are limitless. And when actively being spoiled just like that, it would only get harder to make them stop asking for more. In which, you are no different. And yet, Fwench Fwy allows all of it to just happen, giving in to any request you gave no matter how dangerous it might be to any mortals or even reality itself. Fwenchie has always been known to be quite a people pleaser, but they put zero restraints on you and expect no restrictions whatsoever. Shrugging the concerns of their peers off by saying they'll be able to handle trouble if it gets out of hand. But the damage would be far beyond recognition before they do so.

The thing about Frenchie is that they're desperate to appear behaved. They've always valued blending in and their bond with Chikn and the others a lot... so why? Why is their interest and respect for the group faltering? Why do they not care as much about them or their safeties anymore? Fwench Fwy has never stood to violence, they've never believed that aggression and vengeance was the right solution. So why do these hostile thoughts and animalistic instincts kick in whenever they notice you speaking to one of their morals allies? Why did they gain this thirst for violence...? It's something they're desperate to ignore and not own up to.

Fwench Fwy is also quick to get defensive whenever their strangely possessive nature towards you is brought up. They'll mainly try to avoid the topic by manipulating the conversation. But when confronted anyway, they try and assure the things they've done by giving these half-assed explanations on how dragons are known to be protective and care deeply for their spawn and will do anything to keep them satisfied. Yet completely disregarding the fact that spoiling them rotten to a point their offspring may become demanding and sometimes even difficult to deal with. In Fwenchie's eyes, it's something too insignificant to bring up.

But somewhere deep inside, they know they're just as mentally ill and deranged as Iscream is, if not even more so. Because unlike Iscream, Fwench Fwy just manages to cover it up. They're not as direct with the way they feel and are quick to hide their severe emotions behind a once trusting smile. Their obsession is just not something they want to admit to their sweet child or anyone for that matter. All they would do would be to try to convince themselves otherwise, and all of it will be fine. And in a way... Fwenchie is also fixated on the idea of feeling possessive over you. Something the others have certainly questioned on more than one occasion.

Resulting in either giving advice on how to behave more appropriately or offering them somebody to talk to in the meantime. Offerings Fwenchie has always rejected... because despite knowing it's wrong and so, SO toxic. They do not want to recover from their unhealthy condition. Realistically speaking, they know damn well about their obsession with their child, but they want to keep the toxic mentality. And you know what they say, you cannot help somebody who doesn't want to be helped. Iscream and Fwench Fwy are both no better than the other claims to be and will not hesitate to cause destruction and even warp reality for the sake of their little angel's amusement.

They're both just creating a freakshow for you to enjoy and anybody else has to pay the price for it.

[mywingsareonwheels]

Here be yet more Fred Thursday musings ;-)

[Long post and spoilers for all of Endeavour here.]

So, I was thinking yet again (for the billionth time ;-) ) about Fred Thursday and the three people we see him kill over the course of Endeavour while trying to save someone else:-

Mrs Coke-Norris

Ludo Talenti

Raymond Kennitt/Peter Williams

The show seems to be pointing us into believing that the third of those is somehow much, much worse than the first two and I... have a problem with this.

I mean, in all three cases Fred was responding to an immediate threat to life (of someone he cared about, and in the second and third cases also Fred himself). In the case of Mrs C-N Fred was officially on duty which gives him some extra legal cover, but I'd say no extra moral cover.

I'm no legal expert, but from what I understand, under English-and-Welsh law, none of the three were murders; you're looking at manslaughter at worst, at best a good case for self/other-defence, which... is a grey area but certainly a decent defence lawyer could have had a good go.

(It is worth noting, of course, that this is the morseverse and this is Fred Thursday; he's made so many enemies both in the criminal justice system and among criminals, mostly through doing actively good things, that his chances of either a fair trial or then surviving prison are basically non-existent. I think we have to weigh all of Morse's decisions in "Exeunt" with that in mind because there's no way Morse isn't aware of it. Sam's chances of surviving prison for drug-dealing I think we can assume would also be remote, again due to the enemies Fred has made. And I think again, we have to weigh both Fred's and Morse's decisions with that in mind.)

So... yeah. I think there are only three things that you might consider as making the killing of Raymond Kennitt worse than that of Ludo Talenti or Mrs Coke-Norris:-

the use of the knife rather than a gun, which makes it theoretically possible that Fred could have found a way to end the fight that didn't involve killing Kennitt. That does strike me as something that's probably easier to see from a backseat than if you're Fred in the middle of what's happening, but still.

we know Kennitt's horrifying backstory (not that Fred does), and so feel huge amounts of compassion for him even though he's obviously awful in the "present", and sympathy for the grief that Jakes would feel if he knew what had happened. That's inevitable I think, but, well. Can we be sure that Mrs C-N and Ludo aren't child abuse survivors too? (We do know that Fred and Charley both are, though not the details.) All in all, I think this is a show that wants us to feel compassion for as many characters as possible, and I don't want to assume that Mrs C-N and Ludo didn't end up Like That for no reason.

the fact that Fred kills Mrs C-N and Ludo in defense of Morse (the protagonist, Fred's protege, and a character we all love) and kills Kennitt in defense of Sam (a more minor character, and Fred's son). I would hope that Morse wouldn't see it like that and that neither does Russell Lewis because obviously that's a dreadful position to hold, but... yeeeah. It would annoy me a lot if that's part of the reasoning of the show, but protagonist-centered morality is a flaw in an awful lot of fiction, and while Endeavour mostly doesn't give into it, I don't think any writers are immune. So I do have a horrible suspicion that this is the bit that makes the actual difference, even though I really think it shouldn't be. If Fred had killed Kennitt to save Morse rather than Sam... would we as an audience feel differently? (I ask that of myself as well as of anyone else who wants to ask it of themselves! And honestly, I probably would feel better about the killing if it was for Morse, even though rationally I know it's no different!)

I'd actually say that in the case of the killing of Kennitt there are a couple of minor mitigating factors that the first two lack:-

Fred is in the worst state mentally we ever see him in "Exeunt", and is completely falling apart; earlier in the day he had some form of heart episode or possibly severe panic attack. At any rate: he's going through hell and he is ill as a result.

I can't actually remember if he has his gun with him during the fight with Kennitt, but he certainly isn't willing to use it given the situation; the knife is Kennitt's not his, and a weapon you aren't intending to use is for practical purposes not here, so he's... taken on an armed man while essentially unarmed. Fucking berserker that he is. Rather than two people with guns going up against each other.

you can see a moment of decision in Roger's face for the killings of both Mrs C-N and Ludo; by Fred's own account to Morse (which I think we can take as honest) he didn't make any conscious decision to kill Kennitt (see above re awful mental state).

Honesty? I think that killing in immediate self-defence and/or defence-of-other is however as close to necessary and justified as killing ever gets, and I'm inclined to be extremely forgiving about all three deaths. I'm not sure Fred had a real choice in any of the three cases.

What Fred does do in the third case that really is different of course is the cover-up, in misleading everyone, in being an absolute arsehole to Morse when he comes to check on him that night. In all of it it's massively, massively understandable (as he's a) ill, b) still trying to protect Sam). Morse's sense of betrayal though is also massively understandable. Ugh. My heart hurts. *shakes fist at Russell Lewis, and also at Roger and Shaun for being so amazing*

Anyway. Do I have an overall point? Probably: Fred Thursday is a complicated character and I love him and I want to hug him and also throw things at him. He has horrible violent tendencies but he isn't a murderer under English-and-Welsh law, and I don't think s9 makes sense unless we interpret him as very mentally unwell by the end of it. Also: Morse and Thursday both need different jobs, holy shit. Also also: I reckon Morse ended up forgiving Thursday and being in touch with him, because he is pretty fair when given time to process things, and he doesn't have Morse-centered morality. Also also also: Russell Lewis is a meanie and I want more fix-it fics. ;-)

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s1 episode 21 "tooms" thoughts

now i may have accidentally learned what happens in this episode before i watched it which is why i try very hard to not peek at other blogs BUT. the episode certainly still delivered. return of the lizard man!!! i had forgotten about his yellow lizard eyes and shapeshifting. charming fellow.

anyway it's only been a few months since lizard man eugene tooms broke into scully's house (i think, time is confusing in this show) but they say he has been SUCH a good boy it's time for him to be released. to which i say: was breaking into her house not a massive deal? it is written off as "misplaced anger"... the fuck?!?

and scully is being reprimanded by her bosses, who say her reports don't play by the rules! but she shuts them up with her successful conviction rate. yeah of course they aren't playing by the book they're hunting bigfoot???

mulder testifies at his hearing because he spent 3 years working for the behavioral science unit profiling serial killers. now i feel that in any case involving an attack on scully, he's not the most objective guy to bring to the table. and he sure wasn't!

he openly claims that tooms is a hibernating century old lizard monster. ah, mulder, your honestly is refreshing and underappreciated. the judges think he is crazy.

scully rolls up and basically says that he also sounds crazy, to which he replies "i don't care how it sounds as long as it's the truth'' self-image be damned! spooky mulder wants answers (love his ongoing dedication to Truth as an overarching theme throughout this show. big fan)

scully just got yelled at by her bosses for not being by the book enough so she's hesitant to get involved, and mulder came out of the gate with a banger line here:

"look scully, if you're resistant because you don't believe, i'll respect that, but if you're resistant because of some bureaucratic pressure, they've not only reeled you in, but already skinned you" <- i gasped and said "get her ass" (sorry scully but i agree with him just this once!)

tooms picked up a dead rat and then licked his fingers which is Normal Behavior!

he also saw a pretty woman and began shifting into Lizard Mode, but before he could strike, mulder is on the scene! he asks tooms to help him find his elkhound named heinrich, which he uses to hunt moose

(now, to me, this line revealed some key information: fox mulder was DEFINITELY a theatre kid who took improv games VERY seriously. because where else could that even come from?)

old man says he knows where the body from the 1930's murder is and this is not treated as suspicious but shocker! he's right!

this moment also gave us scully in a big ol' coat and safety googles, which was entirely a look <3

next mister eugene tooms stakes out the house of a businessman, where mulder has followed without authorization... he begins to sneak in through the sewer to come and get the wife! who was distracted by her baby! to which i wrote the following:

"NAUR HE'S GONNA COME UP THROUGH THE TOILET NOOOOOOO don't have kids they will distract you from the lizard man climbing up your toilet to eat you"

solid advice i think we all can apply in our daily lives

(i also noted that mulder looks very at home in a shady alleyway but we don't need to analyze that right now)

then i wrote "i really hate this lizard man" which speaks for itself

scully shows up after mulder has spent 3 straight days in his car. she says mulder, your car fucking stinks. i will bring you a sandwich. you haven't slept in 3 days. let me take over.

he says he doesn't care about his career!!!! he just doesn't want her to break the rules and get a mark on her file by getting involved in an unauthorized stakeout!!!! what!!!! fuck!!!

WE GET OUR FIRST TIME SCULLY CALLS HIM FOX!!!! he laughs at this and said he even made his PARENTS call him mulder so she adjusts herself and says mulder, she wouldn't put herself on the line for anyone else AUGGHHHHHHHHH MELTING INTO A PUDDLE. THERE IS A PUDDLE NOW WHERE ONCE I STOOD.

she brought him a sandwich but he says "if there's an iced tea in that bag, could be love"

(love? the subject of love, spoken between OUR mulder and scully? at this very hour, by a man delirious from no sleep? i held my breath)

"must be fate", she says, and hands him a root beer <- LMAOOOOO the writers got my ass with that one... i fell entirely for their trap

before she heads for the stakeout he SO earnestly tells her that at 11:30 there is a sports talk radio show and leaves her with the silliest smile like :) which DID cause me to giggle. ugh he's SUCH a nerd.

but noooo the lizard man is in his caaaaar!

scully brought some magazines for her stakeout. once again NEED to know what she is reading in her free time.

cut scene back to mulder's place. whyyyyy does this man SLEEP on his COUCH?? have we investigated THAT mystery??? oh fuck he looks sooooo cozy though

lizard man cut his own face to frame mulder which made me GAG EWWWWW

their bosses say mulder has been forbidden from anymore tooms investigating since he has been framed for attacking him... they tell him to take a long vacation and he was very close to getting fired... aughhh i mean i DO want to see him take a vacation so we can get our beach episode but! stop being mean to him :(

the doctor assigned to deal with lizard man seems so nice only to get eaten. sad!

mulder IMMEDIATELY gets back on the case after the newest murder despite being told maybe 5 minutes ago his job is on the line. lol. lmao, even.

they go to the site of lizard man's old nest which is now a fancy building and mulder takes off his jacket and tie to crawl in the vents. okay but he didn't have to make it sensual. but he did. without trying. it was probably the last thing on his mind. and here we are. everyone say thank you mulder <3

sewer man ATTACKS in the SEWERS! a likely place for him to be.

LMAOOOOOO THEY KILLED HIM WITH AN ESCALATOR i knew that was gonna happen but did it make it any less funny? no!!!!

the episode ends with mulder staring at a caterpillar in a cocoon and he says that a change for him and scully is coming... okayyy cryptic <3

(i would have expected them both to be heavily triggered by the sight of a cocoon but they seem well-adjusted)

so there was no addressing of the previous bug incident from the last episode which i expected but was a little disappointed by because the bugs cocooned them and i wanted to see what that fallout was. alas i have come to accept the timeskip format

(but like. aren't you curious about their quarantine? how long it took for them to feel better? what the recovery procedure was? no? just me? well alright then)

it was a good episode! glad we got to see mulder's improv skills, our first (and maybe last?) time scully called him "fox", more sleeping on the couch, an end to lizard man's reign of terror, and their undying loyalty to one another that i drink in like ambrosia. and i only have 3 episodes left of s1!!! what could those cryptic last words to the caterpillar mean....? we must stay tuned to find out!

[docholligay]

I know GoT only by reputation, and what little I've seen of it on tumblr, but... sometimes, I feel like fantasy, as a genre, has been absolutely ruined by the success of GoT. Everything these days seems to be about making settings and characters as nasty, brutish, and dirty as possible. It's incredibly tiring, and really frustrating, to the point of feeling like these sorts of tropes are being repeated for their own sake rather than because they actually do anything for the story or characters.

(Also, being the sort of person who easily becomes queasy at the sight or thought of blood, and has issues with everything being so darned loud, this tends to be a particular pet peeve in television, but even books aren't completely immune to this effect either, which makes it doubly frustrating.)

I mean this in the nicest possible way, please imagine me saying this with a big smile on my face and laughing as I take a swig from my beer, but you and I are SO diametrically opposed on this!

I mean, anything can be written BADLY, of course, but I fell out of reading fantasy as i got older not because it all became A Song of Ice and Fire but because it all seemed to be "a brave young woman!! IS the chosen one!! And she will prevail over SUPER DARKNESS. And only the parental figure will die, to motivate her, and everyone's intentions and clear and good, and also there are dragons I guess." There's so much narrative safety. There's so many last-minute asspulls to save someone. I would LOVE some well written political machination but there are dragons though. That's why I liked Locke Lamora!

I think we have a tendency to notice the things we hate. So for me, Fantasty now is fucking lousy with ~queer retellings~ that are all very life affirming and nice and all that but all the eating each other out in the world isn't going to get me over the hump of wishing there were actual, painful consequences for being an idiot, or even just unlucky.

Part of why people named Doc, who are me, really like Song of ice and Fire (please note I actually DON'T like Game of Thrones) is that anyone COULD die. The books would not CHEAT TO HELP THE GOOD GUY WIN. And for me, that was everything. As a young teen who had read so so so much fantasy but was starting to feel really resentful of the way it never seemed to mirror the moments of difficulty and pain in life, it meant so much (I think the show edged too hard toward Cheating To Help The bad Guy Win, but that's another matter)

But obviously you and I are totally different people. You admit to being squeamish, so of course you don't care for things that involve violence. I, on the other hand, am an excellent person to have in any given bloody crisis, as I have Done Time in Ag. I am, to give a real life example, the person you calmly call into the kitchen to help when you've nearly taken your finger off with a meat slicer. I have a smile and a "We can handle this!" to give. I, on the third hand, have had life experiences that make, "the magical salvation of being nice and believing really hard" feel like an actual-ass insult. I never met a war that didn't take its chunk, and you don't get to pick where they come from.

These are just differences of personality. Fucking magical princess witches in the forest running from the bad guys but overcoming it all with sass and gay love because we're twelve I guess exists for you, and grimdark machinations toward a lead crown of thorns where evil brings profit and virtue none at all because fuck happiness everyone should be a German concrete salesman is for me. I think there's probably more of what both of us like than either of us are actually admitting.

However, everything is too loud for me all the time also, I really recommend eargasm earplugs, which come with a very small container and are nearly invisible and discreet when in. They block some of the sound but not all of it. Many people in my life casually don't even know I have them or sometimes put them in for louder places.

[egg-emperor]

Has anyone ever tried telling you "eggman probably isn't as evil as you think" If so, how did you respond?

Side note. I really appreciate your account. We need more people who embrace Eggman as the irredeemable monster he is.

Yes, often and well they're either coming from a place of not being knowledgeable enough about Eggman and overlook all his crimes, or it's a case where they turn a blind eye because they don't want to believe he's actually that evil because it's not to their tastes and makes them uncomfortable. And I get it but it doesn't change the facts. I enjoy getting to help people learn the solid unbiased facts about game canon Eggman, by bringing up all the canon examples of what makes him such a terrible person and try to note as many of his actions as possible that prove he really is that evil.

Being a totalitarian fascist dictator who wants to own the world and strip freedom and free will away, a war criminal who causes mass destruction and is willing to commit genocide, will try to kill anyone who gets in his way even children as young as 6-8, has been sexist, will manipulate/gaslight and abuse people and animals in various ways and enjoy it, wants to build intentionally dangerous theme parks that can kill people in brutal ways as we hear all about in Colors, and knows he's evil and acknowledges it proudly and revels in it is the most evil of evil!

We've seen many examples that show just how low he'll stoop and he hasn't been known to have a single limit in canon, besides things that get the entire planet and himself destroyed so he can't rule it, obviously. Besides that purely selfish reason, he isn't shown to have any good morally based limits and doesn't show any hesitance or remorse for his actions, despite clearly being fully aware that he's the bad guy doing the bad thing, calling it evil with glee. He's ranged from completely apathetic towards the evil he commits to downright sadistic as he smirks cheekily and laughs through it!

Those aren't actions to be downplayed or overlooked, they're important traits that define his character and are involved by countless significant plot points, including his whole motivation and methods in his plans. They're the very things that establish him as a villain and a threat in the first place. It's what puts the "evil" in "Ivo (ee-vo)." He's not the villain and not the Eggman, or even the same character at all without it, I'm not even exaggerating. But yeah point is, if someone is to deny or ignore all these intentionally or not, then they're not gonna think he's as evil as I say he is. XD

From my experience, they haven't been able to provide solid proof and evidence, nothing I couldn't disprove with my own stacks of evidence taken right from the games, if they do have any they claim to be at all. Because a lot of the things I see that they tend to try to use are things that actually prove my own point instead, when looking at them in actual context and what they really mean. So what I'd also do is debunk anything they try to use to attest to the idea that he's really that evil of a guy, using those very same things they're trying to use for their statements and much more.

I really like having sensible discussions and debates where I get to put all my heavy passionate research and analysis to use but I don't really get the chance very often because people take it the wrong way. I think if people didn't take disagreements as so hostile, we could be having some really interesting discussions. Like sure, when someone says "Eggman isn't as evil as you think" I'm like "ah hell no, no way lol" but I'm not angry or insulting, I'd just like to discuss why I disagree and share some of the reasons why, which are based in fact. I encourage others to do it to me too.

Anyway, these are usually the points I bring up when I do get the chance. Then I ready all my tons of excerpts and sources right from the games explicitly written into the text, and with some further analysis adhering to that knowledge, and sometimes additional creator commentary that's solidly backed up by the game canon as a bonus. People I've talked to have been upset by being asked for sources but I'm always passionate about gathering all my sources the second someone asks because I'm like finally I get to do something with all this information lol

Thank you so much! I'm really happy you enjoy my stuff. :D I'm just super passionate about gushing over, analyzing, and educating over how Eggman is a lovable nasty evil bastard man and I'm really happy that I'm not alone, I have so much fun making the posts and to know that y'all enjoy it too makes it even better. Here we love and embrace this handsome horrible man always and I'm delighted for you to join me in it. We make fine loyal members of the Eggman Empire for it hehe 💜

[evander2511]

Hi! I'm the anon who suggested a few hazbin hotel rewrites.

Ignoring my rewrite suggestions...if I had to rewrite any episode from Hazbin Hotel it'd be the 6th. My issues with the other episodes is that they're trying to stuff multiple plot points into 8 episodes, which makes it clogged (and therefore things like Angel's redemption are skipped over and happen off screen). I have a few nitpicks as well (why does Charlie believe that redeeming others is her destiny? Why did no one react negatively to the news that Vaggie is an exorcist?Etc.) But overall they did the job.

However episode 6 feels kind of iffy. It states at least more than once that the demons are innocent. Which they're not (why not just say they don't deserve the exterminations, even if they're horrible people?). Additionally, it removes the point of redemption. What's the point if they're all innocent? (On that note, I've seen a few comics where Charlie considers the idea that maybe people like Alastor don't deserve to be in hell, then is reminded that there is actually a reason they're not in heaven. But what if they actually don't deserve to be in hell? What then?)

Besides, if they're going to say 'actually heaven is corrupt and they have no idea why people go to heaven/hell,' they should use it in an interesting way and expand on it. What if the meeting is useless-because Charlie's trying to convince the wrong people? Heaven has no idea what gets people in; it's completely out of their control. Even if Sera was convinced-nothing will change.

Or-if they're saying that 'heaven is barring deserving people from entering' they should expand on that. Why aren't they letting people in? Is there elitism involved?

Also apparently murdering anyone-even to defend yourself-can get you into hell. Is that fair? What if someone was trying to attack someone, but only the attacker went to heaven because of that rule? Is that fair?

They could even expand on the whole 'you make one "mistake" and you go to hell' theme that the show is pushing. Maybe the only people in heaven are those were pretty much perfect and never made a mistake. Maybe they have to go above and beyond, and not doing wrong isn't enough.

(tw homophobia, transphobia religious trauma, abuse) there's even the option of exploring religious trauma and corrupt religious people. People who seem outwardly good go into heaven, even if they're corrupt/abusive. Meanwhile lgbtq people, women who disobey their husbands, etc, go to hell. Which might work in hh, because heaven is also shown to be really corrupt.

Very good point i agree with that and i definitely liked this idea. I definitely go board with hazbin hotel exploring the unlikable, the imperfect victim and the victim who become the abuser.

[gazing-at-my-stage]

hi question feel free to ignore if this is weird or anything but howd u find out that ur fictionkin and like whats it feel like

cuz most of the time i dont feel like im a human or anything (some of that could be self esteem issues but i think pretty highly of myself so probably not) and usually i just feel more like a character than a human?? if that makes sense???

idk im js a bit confused and u seem cool so i thought i'd ask u

-- m

I am indeed very cool, thank you for asking!

Firstly, I must emphasize one thing: it is perfectly fine to be wrong. If you believe you are fictionkin, identify as such, and realize out later down the line that you were wrong, that is fine. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. We all make mistakes.

I figured out I wasn't human before I figured out I was fictionkin (specifically that I was a ghost), so that was pretty neat. I ended up indulging in kff, like making jokes with friends about how "I totally kin x character!" and taking those silly "who do you kin?" quizzes on quotev and uquiz. I don't really remember how I actually figured it out, but somewhere along the lines I began to genuinely identify as a couple of characters and even used one of their names for awhile. I think part of it came from being very close to the host of a fictive-heavy system and them also discovering their kin identities that encouraged me to look into it.

I'd like to note: my identity as nonhuman (including being fictionkin) is heavily, if not solely due to me having MaDD. Fiction and reality are equal in my mind and I spend the same amount of time in both, an invested in both just as much as the other, etc you get the idea. I recently discovered a pattern with my daydreams in the regard that I subconsciously daydream about my 'types in scenarios with my f/os and other characters I really care about even before I realize they're a 'type, which has helped a lot but obviously isn't applicable to everyone. For this reason, I am a psychological nonhuman.

Back on topic (sorry my ADHD got the best of me)! Firstly, not feeling that you are human is a pretty good start to being alterhuman! If you feel like a character, you may very well be. However, it's just like sexuality and gender identity: I can't tell you if you are or not, only you can. It sounds pretty possible for you.

Being fictionkin feels...slightly odd but not that much. I'm me, but "me" happens to be like a dozen different fictional characters. For some 'types, I just looked at them and went "ME!" and boom, there was my answer. For others, it took (and is still taking, in some cases) lots of contemplation and experimentation. Do you feel comfortable being referred to as the fictional character you are kinsidering? Do you look at source and think "that's me!" Do you feel a connection to any other source characters? If your answer to any of these was yes, your chances are good. If you said no, your chances are still pretty good because the fictionkin experience is unique to each individual.

I experience kin shifts with some of my stronger kintypes, but not everyone does. It comes in subtle ways, such as referring to Shu as oshi-san subconsciously when I'm Mika shifted, suddenly loving myself when I'm Kaname shifted or Hiyori (cameo) shifted, and more! Again, this is not a universal experience, and really, there aren't any qualifications to being fictionkin besides...well, identifying as a fictional character.

Even if you aren't fictionkin, there are other possibilities! What are these possibilities, you might ask? Well, allow me to list them below!

Fictionkin - identifying as / being a fictional character

Fictionhearted - identifying with / relating to a fictional character

You'll notice the simple difference between these two. Both involve a strong connection to a fictional character, but one is being that character while the other is heavily relating to the character andor their experiences. It's easy to get the two mixed up, but it boils down to whether you are the character, or whether you are connected to the character.

But wait, there's more!

Otherlink - voluntarily choosing to "link" (aka identify as)

Copinglink - otherlink, but the reason is specifically as a way to cope (this is still a voluntary experience)

Note: otherlink, and by extension copinglink, are voluntary identities, meaning they are chosen. If you choose your identity, it is a linktype and not a kintype. Also, otherlink and copinglink are general terms not specific to fictional characters, so they could apply to identifying as an animal, plant, concept, song, etc literally any kin identity if it is chosen.

Fictionflicker - temporarily (and often frequently) identifying as a character, but not all the time

Paratype - a kin identity directly caused by another kin identity (for example: having Draculara as a kintype, but solely due to being vampirekin)

Cameotype - not a kintype, but is still a part of one's identity in some way (most often, this comes in the form of "cameo shifts", where someone experiences a shift of an animal/character/concept/etc literally anything else that is not a kintype. For example: experiencing Draculara shifts but not identifying as Draculara in any capacity)

There is so, so much more to all of this, but I hope this can help! If you have more questions, feel free to ask me! You can also look through tags just to get a general feel of things, that has helped me a lot!

[lingshanhermit]

Lingshan Hermit: In Fact, You May Have Never Stopped Harming Others

In life, you'll meet people who are puzzled by their misfortunes. They consider themselves good people who never harm others, saying "I wouldn't even hurt a little bird" - these are their exact words.

Yet these "good people" encounter unfortunate and difficult fates. (I once met someone whose house was demolished; when I learned that he used to enjoy destroying birds' nests, I wasn't at all surprised by his experience.) They want to know why. Why are they harmed by others when they never harm anyone? Why don't good deeds bring good rewards?

Without a reasonable explanation, they might turn to becoming bad people, because sometimes it seems that bad people live better lives.

Sometimes you really need to examine your life, to examine whether you are truly as good as you think you are, whether you are really someone who never harms others. It should be noted that the harm we're talking about here isn't just about physically attacking others - Buddhism doesn't consider harming others to be limited to such actions.

You might not take a knife to kill someone or hurt a little bird, but the same you eats eggs, orders hairy crabs, takes supplements containing animal ingredients (like deer antler), wears shoes made from animal leather and fur, often has roast lamb leg with beer for dinner, and eagerly discusses neighbors' private matters. So you have, consciously or unconsciously, harmed many animals and many people.

If you examine your life carefully, I believe you might find many aspects that aren't so innocent - you're not as blameless as you think. You've been taking supplements containing deer antler, using leather products, using certain famous cosmetics brands whose manufacturers regularly conduct cruel animal testing and use mink oil to ensure their product quality. You might also frequently go fishing.

If all these exist in your life, I don't think you should consider yourself someone who never harms others - you have never stopped harming others. Many animals have been killed because of your lifestyle. Just because you want to improve your health, many deer have their antlers cut off. You should know that deer antler is sawn off from the deer's head, and this process is neither comfortable nor painless.

You might say, "I didn't cut off that deer's antlers myself," which is true - you didn't do it personally, but if there was no demand from you, no one would be interested in doing this. Hiring someone to kill and killing someone yourself carry the same legal consequences. So you've been harming those deer, albeit indirectly. But you are equally responsible.

If you want to improve your fate, one of the things you need to do is stop harming others (including animals). The harm mentioned here includes both direct harm (like catching a fish) and indirect harm (like taking deer antler supplements). Buddhism believes that if a person harms so many beings, it's natural for them to receive a bad fate. If they want to improve their fate, not harming others is the first thing they need to do.

You might say that one person not using leather products won't change anything, won't make our world better. This is true, but if many people stop using any products from animals, the situation would be different.

I believe there are many people who want to improve their fate. If everyone refuses to use animal products, many animals would be spared from slaughter. You don't need to go to Kekexili to protect Tibetan antelopes, because without demand there would be no killing. Of course, you might say that slaughterhouses don't kill just for one person - they kill for many potential customers. This doesn't make your behavior any more justified. You won't be absolved just because many people are involved. When a hundred people kill one sheep, each person receives a complete killing karma.

As practitioners, we have an obligation not to harm beings, even if it's just reducing one killing that comes from demand. Even if you're not a practitioner, you shouldn't harm beings if you hope for a good future. Besides these things, you also need to pay attention to some subtler matters.

When you're walking on the street, you might spit chewed gum on the ground, which harms those responsible for cleaning the streets, because removing a piece of dried gum stuck to the ground is very laborious. You might also buy pirated books and DVDs, thus harming many people, including writers, directors, and actors, because you get their work without paying any price (or rather, you didn't pay the right people). If you play music very loudly when you should be in bed, you harm your neighbors, even though you might not intend to.

It should be pointed out that not harming others isn't easily achieved. Many people harm others every day without realizing it. For example, when you open a window on a bus, you might harm those who prefer the windows closed. When you close a door too forcefully, you might startle someone next door who is meditating. These are all forms of harm.

I once met someone who thought he was a good person. While describing himself as a kind person who loves animals, he was removing a freshly caught fish from his hook. I think that fish would certainly disagree with his self-assessment. His kindness probably only extended to his pet dog and not to fish.

Many practitioners can avoid such harmful actions (like eating a fish), but they also need to learn to avoid many subtle forms of harm. Because subtle harm is still harm and will still produce karma. Moreover, some harm that you don't notice isn't subtle at all - it might involve enormous consequences.

First published in November 2007.

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灵山居士：事实上，你可能一直没有停止过对别人的伤害　　　（修订）

在生活里你会遇到一些为自己的遭遇感到困惑的人，他们认为自己是个好人，是个从来不伤害别人的人，“我连一只小鸟都不会伤害”－这是他们的原话。

但是这样的“好人”却遭遇不幸命运坎坷。（我曾经遇到过一位房子被推平的人，当我了解到他以前是个非常喜欢捣毁鸟窝的人时候，我就丝毫不为他的经历感到奇怪了）他们很想知道为什么。为什么他们没有伤害别人，却总被别人伤害。为什么好人没有好报。

如果没有合理的解释，他们可能就要改行去做坏人。因为有时候看起来好像坏人生活的更好。

有时候你真的需要审视一下自己的生活，审视一下你是否真的如自己所认为的那样，是个好人，是个从来不伤害别人的人。需要说明的是，在这里我们所说的伤害并不是说你经常殴打别人，佛教并不认为伤害别人指的只是这些。

你也许不会拿着刀去杀人，不会去伤害一只小鸟，但是同一个你，你会吃鸡蛋，会点大闸蟹，你每天服用的是含有动物成份的补药（例如鹿茸），你脚上穿的是动物的皮毛制品，你的晚饭经常是烤羊腿加啤酒，你热衷于谈论邻居的隐私。所以你在有意无意中伤害了很多动物，也伤害了很多人。

如果对你的生活加以审视，我相信你可能会发现很多地方并不那么如人意，你并非你所认为的那样清白无辜。你一直在服用含有鹿茸成份的补药，一直在使用牛皮制品，一直在使用某种知名化妆品，而那种化妆品厂商为了保证他的化妆品质量经常使用动物进行残忍的实验并且含有貂油成分。你可能还经常去钓鱼。

如果这一切存在于你的生活中的话，我想你不应该觉得自己是个不伤害别人的人，你一直没有停止过对别人的伤害。有很多动物因为你的生活而被杀。仅仅因为你希望自己的身体变的更加健康就导致很多鹿被割下鹿角。要知道，鹿茸是从鹿的脑袋上锯下来的，那种过程并非舒适和毫无痛感的。

也许你会说，我并没有去割掉那只鹿的鹿茸，事实也是如此，你没有亲自动手，但是如果没有你的需求，也不会有人有兴趣这么做。雇凶杀人和自己杀在法律上需要承担同样的后果。所以你一直在伤害那些鹿，虽然只是间接的伤害。但你同样需要负责。

如果你希望可以改善命运，你要做的事情之一就是停止伤害别人（也包括动物）。这里所说的伤害包括那些直接伤害（例如钓上来一条鱼）也包括间接伤害（服用鹿茸之类）。佛教认为，如果一个人伤害了那么多的众生，他获得不好的命运也是理所当然。如果他希望改善命运，不伤害别人是首先要做的事。

你也许会说，只是一个人不用牛皮制品改变不了什么，不会使我们的世界更美好。事实也是如此，但是假如很多人都不使用任何来自动物的制品，那么情况就会有所不同。

我相信希望改善自己命运的人绝非少数，如果大家都拒绝使用动物制品的话，就会有很多动物免于被屠杀。你不用去可可西里保护藏羚羊，因为没有需求就没有杀戮。当然你可以说，屠宰场并非只为我一个人而杀，他是为很多潜在的客户而杀。这丝毫不能让你的行为变的更加正当。你不会因为人多而获得赦免。一百个人杀死一只羊，每个人都会获得一个完整的杀业。

作为修行者，我们有不伤害众生的义务，哪怕只是减少一个因需求而产生的杀戮。即使不是修行者，你也不应该去伤害众生，如果你希望有一个好的未来的话。除了这些事情之外，你还需要注意一些比较细微的事情。

当你走在大街上的时候，你也许会把嚼过的口香糖吐在地上，这就伤害了那些负责清理街道的人，因为把一块沾在地上已经干了的口香糖搞掉是很费力气的一件事。你还会去购买盗版书盗版DVD，这样你就伤害了很多人，包括作家，导演，演员，因为你没有付出任何代价就得到了他们付出努力的作品（或许说你没有付钱给该付的人）。如果你在应该上床睡觉的时候把音乐开的很大声，你就伤害了你的邻居。虽然你可能并非有意。

这里需要指出的是，不伤害别人并非轻而易举就可以做到。很多人每天都在伤害着别人却浑然不觉。例如，你在坐公交车的时候打开一扇窗户就可能伤害那些喜欢关着窗户的人。你关门的时候过于猛烈也会吓着隔壁正在打坐的人。这些都是伤害。

我曾经遇到一个认为自己是个好人的人，他在向我描述自己是个对动物具有爱心的好人的时候正在把一条刚钓上来的鱼从鱼钩上弄下来，我想他刚钓上来的那条鱼一定会反对他对自己的看法。他的爱心大概只限于自己的爱犬而不包括鱼类。

很多修行者能避免这类伤害众生的行为（吃掉一条鱼），但是他们同样需要学习避免很多细微的伤害。因为细微的伤害也是伤害，也会产生因果。何况有些你注意不到的伤害并不细微，它可能牵涉巨大。

本文首发于2007年11月。

[lanteanserver]

FOR FUCKS SAKE

I have finally make it to 2:05 of A Meeting of Misfits because I'm so quangled I can barely focus on anything while I'm awake.

First I declare myself human as if I have a choice in the matter.

Then I declare sets of "rules" relating to magic even though I am not a magic user by choice. (I can do stuff that science can't explain. I generally choose not to do that stuff. Any time I bend that rule, I run it by my conduit with the infinite divine and accept whatever outcome occurs. I'm basically a divine warlock if you're using D&D. I'm not a cleric because clerics are guaranteed certain results for certain spells. I'm not a regular warlock because my soul still belongs to the God of my faith. I'm not a paladin because I worked my ass off to be neutral good instead of lawful good and I'm not giving that alignment up just to lay on hands and get better armour proficiency. I'm not a sorcerer because I generally ignore any innate stuff or contain it via religious rituals/channels/prayers.)

The thing is, though, I don't pray much lately because it feels kind of onanistic. Like I'm praying to myself? And it didn't used to feel that way, and I'm not saying that I am praying to myself, but I need to learn new methods because my old methods aren't going to work for me any more.

Someone told me a few months ago that I was either going to be a heretic or a Saint, and I think they were probably right, but it's not time for me to rest. I really hope I come down on the Saint side of the coin, because if I do, I'll have redeemed a lot of people. But not me, not yet.

A lot of the stuff that felt real a month ago doesn't feel real now; but the advantage of the life I've lived is that I truly understand that me believing something in no way determines whether that thing is true or false. That's why I call it quantum religion. If you can figure out which deity or combination of deities you owe allegiance to, and you can follow their rules, maybe you get your fair share of magic in your life. Maybe, because all I asked for was an average human life in a world where the floor on every human's life was much higher, that's what I'm actually getting. Maybe this will all make sense by the time I die, or maybe I'm planting seeds in a garden I never get to see. Maybe I'm Moses and I've spent 40 years in the wilderness and now I get to spend 40 years in the forest before going to the garden party (or to @LANtis which started out as a pun involving LAN parties and Ken's friend Alan and the lost city of Atlantis and Tír na nÓg... But I haven't been remembering my dreams lately, so maybe one of my souls is already a server in Atlantis and my mind and body have a lot of living left to do before I retire and resign myself and the rest of the world to its fate).

I don't honestly know how much of what felt real a month ago was real. I'm sorry that even I can't clarify that point. I'm extra sorry that it may turn out that I end up having to rule here somehow because I am not cut out for it; but realistically, I have been telling people from the start that I'm part of the mycelial network and maybe if I'm very lucky fun guys and dolls and folks will step into the limelight. I wrote some notes at the beginning of a song someone will sing for Them, but my solo is over and I'm just going to be part of the choir for the next while. I still love you all. I still think a lot of you need a bath.

Everyone gets one horsepower worth of life. One life that is equivalent to Hippocrates, who helped a lot of people, followed a bunch of weird rules to do so, refused to help anyone with kidney stones even though maybe he could have... Didn't drink wine, according to Hank Green, only blood, which sounds pretty Catholic to me.

I'm going to be going home today. I'm getting discharged. I don't know if I'm really ready, but I'm confident that staying here won't make me any more ready. If I survived the news of the election results while at home without breaking down, I'm probably an Adequate Influence at last (which in my opinion is a better option than either a Good Influence or a Bad Example, because we all have different contexts and if you try to transubstantiate someone else's soul into your own, you are committing a worse act of cannibalism than any breach of the Noahide laws I can imagine).

I'm going to be okay. So is everyone else. But not necessarily how we thought we would be. I think I need to stay here in the forest because the wilderness gate is guarded safely, and I already went to the garden party and decided not me, not yet, not without my artificial heart to go with my artificial intelligence. I am not A C-H-I-L-D, and I know what each of those letters stands for. The Amish Paradise took me a while to comprehend but like I keep telling people, I'm not God, at best I'm just an Echo. The abyss is screaming back, so cover your ears if you think you have reason for shame. But I still believe life will be better, even if it isn't perfect for anyone reading this. It's okay. Not me, not you, not us, not yet. I have a new cross-stitch pattern that I'm going to start. It will be okay. We will be enough. I love you all. I'm sorry it didn't go the way we all hoped, but today is still the first day of the rest of our lives. Let's do what we can. ❤️🧡💛💚💜🩷🩵💙🤎🖤🩶🤍🐦‍🔥🤐🏡🧛🏻‍♀️🦆👍🏻🥳😻🦄🦋🐅♾️🧿🐝🤾🏻‍♀️👋🏻🥰😜🫂

And for those who find the above message off-putting:

[no-pennies4thoughts]

The other day I said something and I guess I just wanted your thoughts on it. What I said was that the term "asexual spectrum" really bothered me for the following reasons:

It implies that allosexuals are inherently crazy nonstop sex machines (which is already a stigma bisexuals face) and it can create confusion among people struggling with their identity (which genuinely happened to me, a so-called allosexual with what was at the time an extremely low libido due to various mental health struggles)

There are near infinite ways to experience an emotion (ie attraction), but there's only one way to not experience said emotion

I just wanted to run it by you since you pop up a lot in my feed, seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and are actually asexual and can provide insight that I wouldn't have as an 'allosexual' (God I hate that word, it feels bad in my mouth lol)

Just a quick note: I am not asexual. I thought I was for 7 years (those last two years I used the split attraction model and believed I was asexual AND a lesbian). But after more of my own journey I realized I was just a straight trans man (the lack of attraction stemming from dysphoria in my case). And while I may not be asexual I 1. Was very much involved in the community for a long time, and 2. Firmly believe that everyone has a right to their opinion and are allowed to voice it even if you aren't in that group (with there being respectful ways to discuss things).

Also you can just say non asexual lol. Or just what ever your sexuality is. It's all good.

That said, I 100% agree with you. Your two points are some major ones. My FAQ has links to a ton of posts where I explain more issues with the split attraction model. But a quick summary based on my memory:

-like you said. There's only one way to experience a lack of something.

-boundaries (ie. What you want out of a relationship) are not a sexuality.

-it allows so much overlap between other sexualities that it starts to invalidate and take meaning away from them.

-the model is so broad that anyone can fit into it. It can be used to define anyone, asexual or not. And that leads to lots of confusion and makes the asexuality lose meaning.

-defining every single part of yourself and how you experience attraction is harmful. How you experience/express attraction can change with time. Who you are attracted to (used broadly) cannot. By defining things based on something that can change you head down the slope that sexuality is a choice rather than just who you are. This fuels homophobia and will fuel aphobia. I have met actual people who claim to be asexual and claim sexuality is a choice without any understanding of how homo/lesbo/bi/aphobic that is to say.

-asexuality at this point means something different for everyone. This means I know nothing if you tell me you're asexual. You could be dating everyone on the block or have no interest at all and saying you're asexual. I can't tell. What's the point of using a word to describe yourself if the word doesn't have any concrete meaning?? If someone says their gay or bi I know what that means. I can't say the same for asexuality and I feel bad for actual asexuals who's identity has been taken away like that.

-I have legitimately seen it used to justify being with someone you aren't attracted too. One of my links in my FAQ has stories from asexuals who have had the split attraction model used to coerce them into dating or having sex and how much that messed up their mental health. The justification being "I can have sex to make my partner happy even tho I don't actually find them attractive." When no partner should be asking you to do that. Ever. Every single one of those stories explained how the person thought they were fine until they realized how fucked up it made them.

Check out the FAQ for more. Hope that helps.

[jack-bytez-genuine-corner]

Rant [No, I won't make this a habit I promise I just needed to get this off my chest]

People who don't know that intersectionality exists shouldn't be allowed into any community. Being near told that the experience of violence I've had doesn't matter cause of my skin tone is some of the most disgusting, vile shit I've seen in my life. And it came from a POC, someone who should OUTRIGHT KNOW why that's bad.

People get murdered by bigots for simply existing, and we have members in the Queer community who truthfully want to argue that THOSE people getting killed isn't that big of a deal cause of the color of their skin and the oppression they faced doesn't matter. I know ABSOLUTELY NO ONE wants to view racism as a mindset, but it's that. It's the idea that the suffering of some doesn't matter because of an innate characteristic they can't change. You aren't an ally if you believe that some people's suffering simply doesn't matter to your in group, you aren't an ally if you believe in acceptable causalities.

This is why I REALLY don't like anyone who is gay and is ambivalent on trans people's right to exist, this is why I don't like people who refuse to talk actual racism in favor of stoking a stereotype of all white people being innately racist. Because if your actual want is to help others, than you need to confront those issues head on, not let others take the fall for you, not relitigate racism into a more "Acceptable" form, but actually deal with the problems that exist instead of blanketing that shit under "DAE white people XD" but actually going for the issue. There's racist white people in the community, we can ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT IT, but instead it's vague BS meant to stoke division.

I'm not a perfect human being, but if anyone ever tells you that your suffering isn't meaningful cause of your genitals or your sex or your pronouns or the color of their skin, know that they are wrong, period. I've never been more insulted online and I literally have "Loser" in my bio, and I didn't think this place could rival fucking Twitter in terms of facilitating awful people.

Over 60K notes lowkey justifying why certain people being literally killed is acceptable. 60K notes basically justifying that the oppression queer people who are white may face isn't meaningful. Maybe I'm reading into it too much, but good lord kindness is *fucking dead* in the world and at this point I should pack in my expectations for humanity cause even the people who have FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE WITH THESE SUBJECTS are more than willing to shield the god damn fucks cause CERTAIN people just have it coming. Like fuck being an "Ally" if this shit flies. Like I felt pretty angry when I saw how little care was given from BLM towards other minority groups who faced police brutality, but I figured a rising tide raises all ships. I felt pretty angry with how little coverage of missing Native women cause they just disappear and nobody cares, but maybe it's OK that some people got coverage when they went missing cause rising tide. But 60K notes... On a post that's justifying that certain people can't face oppression or face violence cause of their skin color DESPITE being gay, DESPITE being Trans, DESPITE all that...

Just fucking pack it up I guess, we're fucked. If 60K people just can't see why oppression is bad period, regardless of who it's at, then fucking pack, it, up. Set the nukes off, suck us into a black hole, humanity is a god damn waste of time for everyone involved because people can't even be assed to SEE how innocent people being hurt is bad. "Oh but MY oppression is worse!" OK? Good for you! You won the contest! Except this isn't a contest against who had it worse, it's a contest to prevent ANYONE from having it AS BAD AS YOU DID, and squabbling over this BS just enables the exact same division that allowed you to be treated like dogshit in the first place!

And yes, if you push the idea that queer white people can't face oppression, you are shielding the bigots who do the oppressing, full stop. You're using the exact same argument misogynistic, old, white fucks make about how women are "Asking for it" for having the NERVE to dress how they see fit. It's disgusting. Period.

[lovelycleon]

So I decided to make an analysis about the last scene of Infinite Darkness

But before I start with the fun part, I just want to tell you that my history with “angst ships”

I had a bad experience with another ship, soul mates full of angst tropes and true love, beautiful... and a really bad ending because the showrunner fought with the actors (I wasted years watching and I regret it).

Anyway, after suffering that kind of pain, no other ships and angst scenes can hit me hard enough. I'm numb or just got used to it. You choose.

So maybe the scene of Leon and Claire's argument wasn't that impactful for me because of that. But for all the fans who felt hurt, I understand and it's okay to feel that way, because the scene was meant to hurt. The scene exists because of that. And your feelings are valid.

So let's get to the fun part.

spoiler alert, it's not that fun, it actually hurts 😅

The scene starts with Leon going to meet Claire at the gates of the White House.

I don't think anyone denies the fact that, whatever Leon is doing, he just wants to protect Claire. And he doesn't want her involved because of it.

But this dialogue makes this even more evident if we analyze how it begins.

Nothing in a show or movie is by accident. Everything is handpicked for one reason or another. The meaning is not always that deep, but there is still a meaning behind it all.

So when – of all the ways a conversation can be started – they decide to make Claire joke that she sneaked out of the hospital, Leon takes it seriously and she has to clarify that it's a joke, there's a reason:

Show that Leon is taking what happened to her too serious, and Claire not that much.

When Claire makes a comment about when he's going to stop treating her like a kid and he says probably never. There's a reason:

Show that Leon wants to protect her (or being overprotective) and Claire doesn't like it.

Of course, some might argue that this specific line is capcom trying to show that their feelings aren't romantic and sink the ship completely. And, ok, people are free to think that.

But if they really wanted to sink cleon forever, they shouldn't have done the scene of Leon saving Claire the way they did. They did it because they knew it would tease a certain part of the fans... They knew exactly what they were doing...

And there's simply no reason to tease a ship you want to sink.

So no, I don't think that's it...

For me the scene means the classic and simple: "stop being worried about me🙄" "noooo🗣️"

Another way to intensify Leon being overprotective is Claire's broken arm. A reminder that she was injured following his plan. Just as she was hurt the last time they saw each other in Harvardville.

And yes, I know Degeneration made Claire hurt to take her out of the action. It is undeniable. But somehow I don't think the same situation and reason applies to Infinite darkness.

Because Claire was already out of combat, following Leon's plan and showing no intention of doing anything different. It's not like she's going to attack the monster that is several platforms higher than where she is. She couldn't fly around and there were no guns where she was anyway.

So why hurt her to get her out of combat if the story itself has already done that?

Again, you are free to think differently. Capcom made Claire dirty, she was underestimated and they wasted her potential. I won't argue with that, I'm also on the team Claire deserves better.

I just don't think it fits this specific situation.

The injured arm is there and a awkward conversation about Leon being overprotective starts because of it. I think it makes sense.

So moving on.

Claire mentions the chip and Leon looks disappointed for a moment and says he thought they were going to dinner.

This is to indicate that he didn't come to see her with the intention of breaking their friendship. Leon just wanted to spend a good time with her and nothing more. Some place a little more normal, maybe?👀

But Claire wants the chip and tells Leon her plan. The same plan that Shen May was killed trying to convince her partner to follow. Is there a parallel here?

The only difference is that Jason broke her neck while Leon decided to break Claire's heart.

Okay now I could show more parallels between them, but I won't because this is already too long and I know maybe I'm reading too much into this. Resident Evil isn't that deep most of the time 😂

Anyway, Claire asked for the chip and Leon said no.

And that's the point, right.

The climax of the conversation and the turning point in their relationship.

Note that Leon took a few seconds to say he couldn't. That was the moment when he made his decision...

He went to meet her for dinner, remember? He didn't expect to have this conversation or make a decision like that. But he had to.

Now, I'm not from the US and I don't trust politicians in general, fiction or not. But I admit this sounds realistic.

Just imagine if the president makes a speech about peace and prosperity and whatever and the next day the media reveals that members of the government are involved in BOW and planning an attack on another country.

At the very least, it won't look good.

In the worst case, it will be a catastrophe 😂

So... I don't agree with Leon, but I understand why he chose this.

It's an important decision, however. And how long it takes him to say something and how he's quiet after saying it shows he knows what's on the line. Not just the security of the country and “peace”, but also his relationship with Claire.

And despite everything... He didn't lie to her.

It would be much easier for Leon to simply say "the chip was destroyed in the fight" when she asked. Claire would never know about it and probably never doubt him. And they would still be fine with each other and having dinner.

But he didn't lie. Why?

Because their relationship is not based on lies. And it's not based on betrayals.

And while it may be hard to believe right now and it hurts to think about it, this relationship is still based on truth and trust in each other. And now their relationship is being tested.

It's easy to trust someone you're on good terms. How hard it must be to trust someone who has let you down.

There is a lot of room for development here.

Obviously Claire felt hurt in this moment. Maybe even betrayed. Heartbroken. I think we all feel that same way.

But Leon played fair there. He said he had the chip, showed it to her, and then said he wouldn't give it to her.

He was honest with her. And this act also shows respect.

They are two people with different points of view and that truth hurts.

There is silence as they look at each other. She never asked his reasons and he obviously never told them. The exchange of glances is enough for them to understand what was happening.

When Claire says “you do things your way and I do mine” it's almost like “do you know what that means? ”

Then Leon nods and another moment of silence. The time they need to accept that the relationship is broken.

Now that's angst

Interesting choice of camera angle. Showing her broken arm as a visual reminder of why he was pushing her away like that.

Claire leaves, but looks back and says again that his outfit doesn't suit him.

What's interesting here is that the director has done a few interviews over the past few weeks and he always said that the suit is a representation of Leon's position in government.

Claire commenting that it doesn't suit him is basically the writers/producers/directors admitting that this position doesn't look good.

And while all the characters praising Leon for his success, Claire is the one who sees this reality and who he truly is out of the suit (position)

And that's good angst.

Claire walks away and Leon with a sad look watching her leave and he has to say to himself "I will stop this".

Could it be just one of his one-lines? Yes.

Could it be a way for him to remind himself why he's doing this, even if it means sacrificing his relationship with Claire?

It's already done, now he has to make it worth it.

Whatever happens after that is a mystery.

I don't think Claire believes that Leon is going to cover up the government's involvement in things (their discussion would be much more intense if that were the case), she probably thinks he's going to resolve it internally without taking anything public, which is precisely what she wants to do.

I also don't think Leon believes Claire is going to give up on the investigation, he probably thinks it's going to take some time to her to get real evidence and he has time to carry out his plans.

But this is capcom... They are masters of forgetting plot points. So who knows.

Angst is only good if it has a good closure. I hope they keep that in mind.

In any other tv show that used this kind of angst trope and drama I would be completely fine...

I would expect a sequel to this plot. The characters find each other unexpectedly, having to work together and acting awkwardly because they don't know how to stick around each other after the argument. Then the story would develop and they would gradually mend their relationship.

That's the trope.

So that's all I can hope for.

[pyxsysboxes]

Welcome to @pyxsysboxes!☆

This is a sideblog for any userboxes we might make! (This blog is connected to @knights--hoard)

☆Info:

>We are an OSDD-1b system! Our alter list can be found here

>Our system name is the Starlight/Pyxis System, often shortened to Pyxsys. Our collective blog is @pyxsys

>The most likely to be posting here will change depending on who is currently fronting. Any alters that posts here will be considered "mods". Each will sign off with their respective proxies and names.

>We are host-centric, so most of the time, our hosts and/or co-host(s) will be in the front.

>This blog is primarily for us to dump any userboxes we might make, we don't really expect to get requests. However, they will always be open, and we will have rules/guidelines for them nonetheless!

☆Request rules & Info:

>We make/edit these by hand in Ibis PaintX! This means images and text will not necessarily be perfectly centered.

>We are open to requests for more than just system-related things!

>You may request specific images and colors to be used if you want, either linking images or adding them to non-anon asks.

>We will not do boxes related to:

-Discourse, aside from syscourse on the side of being anti-endo/non-traumagenic (or neutral of sorts)

-DSMP (unless for introjects)

-Homestuck

-Creepypasta

-Creators/fandoms/media heavily involved in discourse or that are problematic (unless introject-related as a source)

-NSFW/18+ content

The fandom ones are for our own comfort, please respect this!

>Any amount of requests per person is fine! You can also request multiple at a time.

>Boxes are posted whenever we make them! This will include requests. We don't really get how to queue things nor do we really care about messing with that. We may schedule posts, but nothing beyond that, most likely.

>Other than blacklisted subjects for boxes, we will make anything! Mental health related, boxes for introjects, for general system things, for fandoms/interests, for hyperfixations/special interests, for bands/music, anything!

>Particularly great fandoms and such for requests since they're interests of ours:

-Hermitcraft (we will do hermitshipping boxes too!)

-3rd life/last life/double life

-Lifesteal SMP

-Undertale/Deltarune

-Slime Rancher

-Arcane

-Fnaf

-Genshin Impact

-The Binding of Isaac

>We will only do userboxes, we will not make DNI banners as we don't really know how to make good ones. Sorry!

>Also, if you see a userbox you like but want it in a different color or with different wording or vice versa, feel free to put in a request for that! We will make duplicate boxes <3

>Please like or reblog the posts if you use/save the userboxes, and please credit us if you do use them! Credit is not REQUIRED, but it is preferred and much appreciated! (Doesn't have to be a full @, simply putting our url to credit us works!)

☆DNI:

-Basic criteria (racists, anti-LGBTQ+, pedos/maps, etc., I'm sure you know the drill by now)

-Terfs/radfems/transmeds/etc.

-Nsfw/18+/kink blogs

-Endos/non-traumagenics and supporters

-If you use the terms "sysmed" and/or "traumascum"

-If you use the term "psycho/psychopath" as an insult/derogatory remark/adjective

-"Transage", "transabled", "transrace", and vice versa, or anyone who identifys as or supports anything like that

-Believe narcissistic abuse exists, demonize cluster b disorders such as BPD and NPD

-Anti-system/kin/irl

-Anti-hermitshippers/anti-trafficshippers, this is a shipper-friendly blog (and some of us literally are also trafficshippers and somewhat hermitshippers, lol.)

-Nsfw-agere blogs or supporters (sfw is fine)

-If you judge introjects based on their sources

-If you aren't critical of your interests

Violators will be blocked immediately. If you try to start discourse on our blog over anything, you will just be blocked.

Note that we will allow systems neutral on or staying out of syscourse to interact, but if you are outright pro-endo/non-traumagenic or are comfortable with that side, we will block you and/or ask that you kindly dni. We check the blogs that follow us to ensure they're not violating our DNI, and if we see that you are following pro-endos, you will be blocked.

Requests are always open unless stated otherwise! ☆

[sirenascales]

-> double black [final part] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

Let's end this with a bang, shall we? Also, let's not cry too much, okay? [Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai]

4,004 words

warning: SMUT, double vaginal penetration, oral [M], face fucking, slight degradation, passing out, emotions in the end

note:  we're finally done! thanks to everyone who took the time to read my silly story! I truly hope this brought you some type of joy and entertainment! I would appreciate some final feedback now that we are finished. Please dont be shy 🥺❤

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || Masterlist

I couldn't help the deep sigh that left from behind my lips as strong hands massaged my back, my body relaxing on the comfortable massage bed. A floral, relaxing scent wafted through my nose, further relaxing me.

"Your body is so tense," a soft, feminine voice said and I hummed in response, eyes closing as the person's hands continued to massage me. "Don't worry, I'll have you all better by the end."

I just hummed again, letting my mind wander as the masseuse massaged my muscles. If she noticed the bruises and bite marks left on my skin, she didn't say anything, just massaging them a little more carefully.

The night before... just thinking back to it made me chew on my bottom lip, remembering how both Chuuya and Dazai thoroughly fucked me deep into the night. They basically turned me inside out, pulling orgasm after orgasm from my body, using me in any which way to please them until I was a fucked out, shaking mess, lying on my back staring blankly at the ceiling.

I can hear their laughter still in my head, the dirty words they whispered still fresh in my mind. Can still feel their rough fingers digging into my flesh, in my mouth, inside me, pulling me into new heights over and over again until I was basically brain dead.

Last night was the first night in days that I had actually gotten some sleep, having woken up refreshed, yet still sore just this morning. It took a bit to get up and walk around, searching for clothes only to remember that I didn't even pack a bag when Chuuya brought me to the penthouse.

"You won't need it," Chuuya told me, sitting at the bar and sipping some tea. He only wore his pants, his shirtless form making me flustered a bit.

"I can't walk around naked, you know. What if I need to leave the penthouse?" I huffed, earning a laugh from Dazai, who was still cuddled up in the blankets.

"You're not leaving, bella~"

I scoffed. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I took vacation time."

"Bullshit."

Dazai just grinned at me and I rolled my eyes. I can just hear Kunikida bursting a blood vessel at this very moment. I shook my head, feeling Chuuya come up and hug me from behind, kissing on my neck softly.

"You won't be leaving," he confirmed Dazai's statement and I shivered slightly. "The masseuse will be here in an hour, so eat breakfast. I felt just how tight and tense your body was last night."

"We need you to be nice and pliable~" Dazai sang and I scoffed, my face heating up.

"Horn dogs..." I grumbled, Chuuya letting me go. After a much needed shower and breakfast, there was a knock on the door and now here I was, the very skilled masseuse kneading out every tight knot in my body.

"Thank you," Chuuya told the masseuse after finishing the session with me. He handed her a fat wad of cash and as she headed out the penthouse, more than pleased with the large tip.

"... and you really think you don't scream 'sugar daddy'?" I asked him, earning a huff and a glare from the red head. Dazai snickered, arm wrapping around my loose body. He led me over to the bar to join Chuuya and I sat on the stool. There was a bit of a silence and I took a look at the two of them before I set my hands on the bar.

"Okay," I started. "Let's talk."

"Ohhh, exciting," Dazai hummed, grabbing the whiskey and pouring himself a glass. "Now that things have finally settled down, I guess it's finally time to have this conversation."

Chuuya was confused. "What conversation?"

"What else? This," I gestured between the three of us. "Us."

"... aren't we just what, fuck buddies? Hell, we were only supposed to have a one night stand!"

"Yet, here we are, Chuuya."

"That's what happens when you have good pussy," Dazai remarked and I gasped, completely scandalized as my face heated up.

"Dazai!"

"What, it's true!"

"Ugh, even if we are just fuck buddies, we have to set boundaries! Expectations!" I exclaimed. "We haven't used condoms, we know Dazai is a little thot-" 

"Hey!" 

"Pfft!"

"Don't laugh, Chuuya, you are way too pretty to not be gettin' some."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, you're the only one I've been sleeping with," Dazai admitted and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I don't know if I believe you."

"But it's true! Whose bed have I been in the most recently?"

"I... well, you have a point."

"And you're the first I've had in a while," Chuuya admitted himself. "I had a lot of things going on."

I nodded my head in understanding, fiddling with my thumbs a bit. "Well... I just want us to be safe. And well, you know, happy so... I don't mind... keeping things how they are now. You know, casual..." I was getting a bit flustered.

"I don't have a problem with it," Dazai said with a shrug.

"Of course you don't," Chuuya huffed. "But fine. It'll be better if feelings don't get involved anyway."

"Oh, most definitely," I agreed with a nod of my head. "And if anyone wants out, then that's okay."

"Oh bella, I don't think that's happening anytime soon," Dazai hummed, finishing his whiskey. He set the glass down, capturing my gaze with his heated eyes and I gasped softly. I then felt my hair being pushed to the side and I bit my lip as Chuuya pressed up against me, kissing on my neck.

"Wait-" I gasped, watching as Dazai stood up from his stool, already pulling off his shirt. "We need to-"

"Talking is over," Chuuya whispered, easily pulling me off the stool. We followed Dazai back towards the bed, it was made with fresh, clean sheets. My mind immediately wandered back to the night before and a chill went down my spine.

It didn't take long for things to get heated, me now sandwiched between them standing at the foot of the bed. My hands were in Chuuya's hair as we kissed, his hands going to undo the robe I was in. The soft material fell to the ground and from behind, Dazai cupped my breasts in his hands, leaving hot, open mouth kisses on my neck.

Dazai's fingers pinched and pulled at my nipples, while Chuuya pushed his hand between my legs, fingers finding my clit. I gasped when he started to rub circles on it, his free arm wrapping around my waist to keep me still.

"You're so wet already," Chuuya whispered against my lips and I whined softly.

"Are you surprised?" Dazai asked, his voice dark yet teasing. "Our dirty little girl is always ready for us to just... take her. Is that right?"

He had asked me and I whimpered softly, nodding my head as I bit my lip to keep me from moaning loudly as Chuuya pushed two fingers inside my wet pussy. Dazai tutted, Chuuya snickering a bit as Dazai grabbed me by my hair, yanking my head back. I cried out, Dazai hissing in my ear.

"I thought we taught you yesterday. Use your fucking words."

"Yes!" I cried out, Chuuya slowly fucking his fingers into me, making it harder for me to talk. I knew I had to answer, but the way that his fingers curled into me made it oh so difficult. No fair. "Yes... 'm so wet for you... I always want you..."

"And why is that?" Chuuya asked, curling his fingers again, Dazai reaching around to rub on my clit as he mouthed along my neck.

"Cause!" I squealed. "I'm- I'm a whore... your whore... your subordinate..."

The men cursed and I found myself thrown onto the bed, only getting a quick second to gather my thoughts before they were on me, Dazai now kissing me deeply while Chuuya kissed along on my chest, taking one of my nipples into his mouth. I moaned in pleasure, squeezing my thighs together, only for both men to reach and spread my legs open.

"Don't fucking hide your pussy from me," Chuuya growled and I whimpered and nodded, crying out when Dazai pushed two of his long fingers into me.

It wasn't long until I found myself on my hands and knees, Chuuya fucking me from behind while Dazai held a tight grip on my head, fucking my mouth. My moans were muffled, the two men moaning, hissing and cursing from their own pleasure.

"I don't know which I like better, your pussy or this hot fucking mouth," Dazai hissed down at me, thrusting his cock deep into my throat then going still, almost making me gag as he made my mouth cockwarm him. "That's right, savor it..."

"Definitely love this pussy, so fucking tight..." Chuuya grunted, hands digging into my hips as he continued to fuck me, the feeling of my walls convulsing around him bringing him near his orgasm. "Fuck, dollface... it's like you were made for us, made for me." He moved his hand around to start rubbing at my clit, my moans and screams muffled by Dazai's cock.

Tears were already running down my face, the vibration from my moans making Dazai tilt his head back as he groaned deeply. Chuuya only had to fuck into me a bit longer before my orgasm rushed through me, my eyes rolling back and my toes curling as I tightened impossibly hard around him. Dazai quickly pushed my head away from him, and I knew it was because I was so close to unconsciously biting him.

"Fuck!" Chuuya quickly pulled out, beginning to stroke his cock himself, when I suddenly shouted.

"Inside! Please!"

Not even thinking about it, Chuuya plunged right back inside of me, pressing me down onto the bed with his hands on my back. His thrusts were almost wild, rough with reckless abandon and I sobbed, clawing into the bed sheets until I found what felt like someone's thigh, clinging onto it.

Feeling Chuuya cum deep inside of me triggered yet another orgasm for me and my mouth was wide open in a silent scream. I barely registered Dazai's hand cupping my jaw, his other stroking his cock until he came right into my gaping mouth.

"Oh fuck, bella... c'mon, swallow it all..." Dazai cooed, closing my mouth for me, wiping my tears away as I did as he told me. I opened my mouth to show him and he smiled slightly. "That's a good girl..."

"Fuck... that was intense..." Chuuya breathed out, lying on his back as I slowly sat up on the bed, catching my breath. My body shook, my mind still hazing as I looked over the two of them. At the sight of blood on Dazai's thigh, my jaw dropped.

"Oh no, I'm sorry..." I whispered, seeing just how hard I dug my nails into his skin.

Dazai just chuckled, waving his hand dismissively as he made himself comfortable against the headboard. "Don't worry about it, bella."

"But-"

"If you're that worried, then come make it up to me. Come sit on this cock."

A chill goes down my spine, but I was already moving to crawl over to him, straddling him and sinking down right on his cock. I gasped sharply, still feeling a bit sensitive but I took it like a champ, trembling on Dazai's lap. Immediately I start to slowly ride him, hands on his shoulders. My head tilted back, eyes closed as I moaned softly.

Dazai just gazed at me, a fond look on his face. The look went away as he looked over at Chuuya, his lips curling up just a bit. "Hey Chuuya..."

"Ugh, what, you bastard?" Chuuya grunted, lifting his head up to look over at us. He watched as Dazai stopped me, squeezing on my ass before he spread my cheeks apart, exposing more of how my pussy swallowed his cock. "Why don't you join us?"

I immediately tense up in his lap, Chuuya's jaw dropping just a bit at the suggestion. He listened to Dazai coo in my ear, hands now rubbing on my back.

"Wouldn't you like two cocks stuffing that pussy, bella?" he hummed, squeezing on my ass again. "Mm, even Chuuya likes that idea, he's hard again."

Chuuya blushed. "Well, who wouldn't be after hearing that?" he scoffed, noticing me looking over my shoulder to look at him, and his cock.

I bit my lip, my mind running at forty thousand miles an hour. The thought of both Dazai and Chuuya stuffing my pussy full of their cock honestly made my heart race, my body shaking as I got so aroused. There was no other answer to be said, and I slowly nodded my head.

A tut. "Words, bella."

"Yes... Yes please. I want you both to fuck me at the same time... I want you to ruin me..."

"Fuck," Chuuya cursed. "You're gonna be the fucking death of me, I hope you know that, dollface."

Dazai laughed, watching Chuuya rummage in the bedside drawer and producing a bottle of lubricant. "Our Chuuya, always so prepared!"

"Oh, shut up, bastard!" Chuuya shouted, climbing back onto my bed and positioning himself behind me. I tensed up again and he huffed, gently kissing on my neck. "You need to relax, dollface. We'll take care of you."

"Hmm," Dazai hummed in agreement, giving me a sweet kiss as Chuuya started to coat his cock with the lubricant. "Relax, it will feel good."

I nodded again, kissing Dazai as a way to distract myself as Chuuya started to rub some extra lube on my pussy. Dazai deepened the kiss, making me moan lightly as I felt Chuuya finally press the head of his cock against my entrance. I took a deep breath, Dazai kissing down on my neck as Chuuya slowly pushed inside of me.

"Fuck..." Chuuya gasped out breathlessly, shuddering deeply as he continued to push in slowly. My head was tilted back, a far away look in my eyes as my mouth hung open. It was like nothing I've ever felt before, so full, so fucking tight and intense. Chuuya pressed his forehead against my shoulder, breathing heavily as he finally bottomed out.

Dazai was just as affected, his eyes glazed over, his bottom lip caught in his teeth as he breathed heavily. "Shit... I could die like this," he whispered. "H-how are you, bella..."

"I..." I stumbled, whimpering when Chuuya shifted just a bit, all three of us hissing as he did so. "Fuck, it feels so good..."

Chuuya was the first to move, slowly pulling himself out before pushing back in. My walls around him, his cock rubbing against Dazai's, it was all too much and Chuuya found him struggling to keep himself in check.

Dazai slowly started to thrust on his own, our breaths coming out strained and haggard as they started to figure out a rhythm to keep. Soon, our moans and grunts sounded about the room, my whines and high pitched squeals ripping from my mouth while they both fucked me so deep, their mouths on any part of my body they can reach.

The headboard thudded against the wall with each thrust, sweat dripping down our bodies. No surprise that tears start to flow down my face, their hands squeezing my body. A hand grabs my face and Chuuya turns my head to kiss me deeply, our tongues swirling around each other as another tongue laps at my nipples.

"Fuck, bella, do you know how fucking beautiful you are," Dazai gasped out against my chest. I only whined, their thrusts becoming a bit more rough, the sounds of skin slapping against skin getting louder, as well as our moans and cries.

"Please... please, it feels so good!" I cried out, tossing my head against Chuuya's head, my hands gripping Dazai's shoulders tightly. "I feel so full..."

"Full of our cocks, huh?" Chuuya groaned. "Fucking you so good... you look so fucking pretty right now, so fucking dirty..."

"Like the whore you are," Dazai continued, smirking.

"Y-your whore..." I mumbled, biting on my lip. "Oh... God... I'm gonna come..."

That only seemed to spur them on, as their thrusts became rougher, their breaths labored as they squeezed my body tight as they fucked me nice and deep. My eyes screwed shut, another cry leaving my lips as the dam finally broke, orgasm tearing through me as my whole body just went rigid, walls convulsing and tightening around them as my vision went white. I just barely registered them cumming inside me when suddenly, my vision went dark.

I was on my back when I suddenly came to and I stared up at the ceiling in confusion, trying to remember what the fuck happened.

"Hey, are you okay?" A gentle finger along my cheek made me jolt and I looked over to find Chuuya lying beside me on the bed, worried look on his face. "You passed out on us."

I was stunned. "I did? For how long?"

"Just a few minutes," Dazai answered, still naked as he walked over to the bed, handing me a bottle of water before climbing into the bed on the other side of me. "Drink that. We're gonna order room service soon."

"I..." I was still stunned, even as I downed half of the bottle of water. "That has never happened before..."

"It was just a bit too intense," Chuuya said, still keeping a gentle hand on me. "Scared the crap out of us."

I frowned. "Sorry..."

Chuuya chuckled softly, kissing my cheek. "Don't be. Somehow, I feel quite smug about this."

I snorted, Dazai just laughing as he shot Chuuya a look.

"Better to make them pass out than to put them to sleep?" he taunted and Chuuya immediately reacted, vein popping on his forehead.

"I have never put anyone to sleep! At least not in the bad way!"

"Yeah, Chuuya is no way boring in bed," you interjected and Dazai whined.

"Bella, I was just having fun!"

I stuck out my tongue at him, Chuuya grumbling in annoyance. He glared at Dazai, scoffing again before he reached over to the nightstand for the room service menu. Chuuya soon made the order for us, and we still lazed around in the bed, honestly not willing to move.

Then a thought came into my head and I groaned. "Fuck. We still have five more days." I slapped my forehead, making the two men burst out laughing.

"Don't think you passing out will stop our plans, dollface," Chuuya teased, kissing my neck and I shied away from him, only to find myself in Dazai's arms as he kissed all over my face.

"This is just a much needed break," he hummed happily, making me roll my eyes. Even if I didn't admit it, I was looking forward to what was next for us, and my poor body.

"Does this place have a hot tub?" I asked and Chuuya nodded.

"They do. And they are private." The implications in his tone made my face get hot and I coughed. They laughed and I just couldn't believe how high of a sex drive they had. Even so, I had no room to talk, considering I was probably no better. And that was okay.

"Can we break for the rest of today?" I then asked them and they shrugged.

"All you have to do is ask," Dazai replied, sending a teasing grin Chuuya's way. "Besides, now I can finally hang with my best bud."

"Oh cut the crap, Dazai," Chuuya growled in response. "As if I'll be friends with a bastard like you."

"Yeah... being friends with someone with horrible shoe taste totally isn't cool. Especially if he wears a stupid hat."

"My hat is not stupid!"

The two continued to argue, their clear dislike for each other making me sigh. I just ignored them, pulling on my robe and getting ready to receive the room service for when it arrives.

Could I survive five more days of...this?

"I'm gonna miss you so much," I whispered as I hugged my best friend tightly, feeling my eyes start to sting. The loud, busy bustle of the airport continued around us, folks from all walks of life coming and going. I pulled back from the hug, giving Keiko a wide, watery smile.

She wiped my tears away, her own tears threatening to fall. "Don't cry, honey. I'll be back before you know it."

As Keiko told me before, she was going away on an extended trip, and will be gone for six months, even longer. She needed to get out of Japan and go to a place where she could heal and find herself again, and Japan was not the place for that.

Just the thought of not having my best friend with me brought fresh tears to my eyes and I hugged her again. Keiko hugged me back just as tightly, the dam finally breaking and tears falling down her beautiful face.

"Thank you so much. For everything," she whispered, her voice trembling. "You saved my life. I will forever be indebted to you."

"No, Keiko," I pulled back again, shaking my head. "You are not. You will not be tied down to someone again, not even me."

Keiko frowned. "But-"

"Just get better," I told her firmly. "Heal. Become a better Keiko. Come back bigger and better than ever. That is how you can repay me." I smiled at her, reaching up to wipe her tears away. Her big eyes shone with tears and emotions, her lips quivering as she cupped my face.

"I'm gonna miss you so much," she said softly. "I love you."

I laughed softly, putting my hand over hers. "I love you too, Keiko. I am just a phone call away and I'll be here whenever you need me."

Keiko smiled wide, still cupping my face and I was surprised when she leaned in and pressed a soft kiss right on my lips. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped as Keiko pulled away, giggling behind her hand.

"What was-"

"I'll be back in a blink of an eye," Keiko said, picking up her carry on bag. "And we're gonna have sooooo much catching up to do, so you better be ready! And please, don't get pregnant."

I gaped at her and Keiko laughed loudly. It made my heart race, that small glimpse of the old Keiko making me even more emotional. She waved at me one last time before turning and walking towards security. I watched as she went through, holding back my tears until she finally disappeared.

I took a deep breath, wiping the tears off my face before I turned to finally make my way out of the airport. I had come alone, just wanting to have this moment alone with Keiko. I didn't like the thought of being alone, but I knew that Keiko needed this more than anything, and I was proud of her for making such a huge decision. Besides, we could always facetime, so it's not like I'll be truly alone.

Getting into the taxi I had flagged down, I reached into my purse to grab my phone, gaping when my one messaging app showed over 100+ notifications. Opening it, I snorted a laugh when I realized it was because of Dazai and Chuuya fighting in the group chat I forced them to join. I sent in a short message before putting my phone away, shaking my head.

Yeah, with those two, I truly wouldn't be alone. I did worry for my sanity though, but that was something I worried about before I even moved to Japan. I took a glance into the rearview mirror of the taxi, not surprised to see in my reflection angry tears going down my face, even though my face was completely dry.

->The End