#that the ending of this raid series introduces one of the WORST

[solxamber]

Trash Novel Chronicles: I Want a Refund || Trey Clover

When the universe dunks you into a dumpster fire of a novel as the villainess, survival is key. Except your husband, Trey Clover, turns out to be such a green flag that it gets a little harder to function.

Series Masterlist

You prided yourself on being a normal, decent person. Maybe even a good person, depending on who you asked. Sure, you weren’t out here saving kittens from trees or solving world hunger, but you did your part.

You recycled when you remembered, held the door open for strangers (if they were close enough, you weren’t that kind of hero), and even tossed bread crumbs to the pigeons outside your apartment every now and then. It wasn’t much, but it was honest work.

So, really, what you didn’t expect was to be completely betrayed by the universe. The betrayal began small, like a mosquito buzzing in your ear: the newest novel you’d been anticipating for months was sold out.

“Are you serious?” you grumbled, glaring at the empty display like it had just insulted your mother. A handwritten sign on the shelf read: ‘SOLD OUT! More in stock soon!’ in cheerful cursive, as if mocking you.

What were you supposed to do now? Go home empty-handed? Waste your perfectly good afternoon plans of curling up with a book? Absolutely not. Refusing to admit defeat, you scanned the bookstore until your gaze fell on the “New and Best-Selling” rack.

One book immediately caught your eye. The cover was... well, something. It looked like someone had raided a middle schooler’s stash of Barbie stickers, splattered glitter over the whole thing, and slapped on an aggressively curly gold font that screamed, I’M A ROMANCE NOVEL!

You sighed. “Fine. How bad could it be?”

It could be very, very bad.

The first red flag was the synopsis. It introduced Trey Clover, the Grand Duke, who loved his spouse, the villainess, with a devotion so pure it made you want to gag. But then came the second male lead, the Prince, who confessed his love to Trey and the villainess, because monogamy was too boring for this book.

And then there was the heroine. The synopsis just called her “the Saintess,” because why bother giving her a name when her only personality trait was being the worst human being imaginable? She appeared out of nowhere, became the Saintess overnight (because logic?), and made it her life’s mission to ruin the villainess’s life while somehow convincing everyone she was an angel.

Oh, and the Prince? The book had him slip on a rock and die halfway through the plot, like the author had a word count limit and didn’t know what else to do with him. The villainess ends up dying too, right aftetr asking Trey for a divorce to "protect him." The ending involved Trey marrying the heroine, despite spending the entire book side-eyeing her like she owed him rent.

You closed the book slowly, your soul drained of all joy. “What in the fresh hell did I just read?”

But no, you couldn’t let this stand. You were a taxpayer, a contributing member of society. You did not deserve this literary slap in the face.

With righteous indignation burning in your chest, you marched back to the bookstore. You slapped the book onto the counter with a dramatic flair that deserved a standing ovation.

“Refund,” you declared, glaring at the cashier.

“Uh... we don’t usually do refunds on books you’ve already read...” they began hesitantly.

“I don’t care,” you snapped, pointing at the glittering monstrosity. “This isn’t a book. It’s a hate crime against literature. A refund, please, before I start sobbing in public.”

After a long pause—and possibly fearing a customer service meltdown—they handed you store credit. Satisfied but still simmering with rage, you stomped out of the store, muttering to yourself about bad authors, worse editors, and the existential crisis of knowing someone got paid to write that garbage.

And that’s when karma struck.

A segway—a SEGWAY—came hurtling toward you at Mach speed, piloted by a man dressed in full medieval knight armor.

“MAKE WAY FOR SIR SCOOTINGTON!” he screamed, his voice muffled by his helmet.

You froze. Your brain could not process this level of absurdity in such a short amount of time. Was this a prank? A hallucination? Had the book actually been cursed and now you were living out its bad writing?

The segway didn’t stop. It hit you with a solid THUNK, sending you flying backward into a suspiciously well-placed pile of garbage bags.

As you lay there, buried under the remains of someone’s takeout and a very old banana peel, as your vision started to blur, you stared at the sky and thought:

Dawg, why me??

You woke up to the faint chirping of birds and the kind of silence that only rich people seem to afford. Something felt... off. The sheets were too soft, like they’d been spun from angel whispers and a mid-tier deity’s hair. Your pillow was the perfect combination of fluffy and firm, a far cry from the lumpy second-hand abomination you’d bought on sale three years ago.

Your eyes cracked open, squinting against the sunlight filtering through an elaborate, gold-encrusted chandelier. A chandelier. In a bedroom. You lived in a shoebox apartment; your idea of luxury was a lamp that wasn’t from a clearance bin.

You turned your head slightly, and your soul froze mid-exit.

There was someone next to you.

Your brain screeched to a halt, flashing every warning signal it had. Stranger. Bed. You. No.

The only living thing that should’ve been in your apartment was the stray cat you’d nicknamed Gremlin, and he sure as hell didn’t have human proportions or a steady breathing rhythm.

Slowly—painstakingly—you tilted your head to look at your unwanted companion.

It was a man. A very attractive man, sleeping peacefully on his side, glasses perched askew on the nightstand. His hair was a soft mess, his breathing even, and his entire aura screamed gentle husband vibes.

Then recognition sucker-punched you in the gut.

No.

No.

It couldn’t be.

You blinked. Looked again. Replayed every horrible memory of that atrocious novel you had read, and then read again because you hated yourself.

It was Trey Clover.

Male lead. Gentleman. Human embodiment of a warm cup of tea. The guy who was in love with his villainess spouse (you remembered her being dramatic but competent) before the world went full dumpster fire.

Your breathing hitched. You stared down at your hands, and they stared back—perfectly manicured, dainty, soft hands that had never touched a single dirty dish or over-scrubbed countertop.

The reality hit you like a segway knight at full speed.

You’d been isekai’d.

You fought the urge to scream into the pillow. Was this some karmic punishment for returning that book? Was your snarky review in the Reddit thread too harsh? Because this? This was an unholy level of irony.

Trey stirred beside you, his brow furrowing slightly as his hand lazily reached for his glasses. He slid them on, blinking sleepily as his gaze landed on you.

“What’s wrong?” His voice was soft, groggy, and just a little raspy—the kind of voice you’d pay extra to have someone read you bedtime stories with. “You’re staring.”

For a moment, your brain blue-screened. Trey Clover—novel character and now your husband, apparently—was looking at you with concern, and all you could think was: At least he’s hot.

“…Nothing,” you croaked, swallowing down the rising tide of panic. “Just… processing.”

“Processing what?” he asked, sitting up slightly and rubbing his eyes, his entire demeanor radiating "adoring husband" energy.

You clenched the sheets in your fists, trying to will yourself to wake up from this insane fever dream. Unfortunately, the chandelier wasn’t disappearing, Trey wasn’t fading into mist, and your perfectly moisturized skin wasn’t breaking into your usual crusty dryness.

This was real.

And somehow, you were the villainess in a novel you’d once described as "a literary abomination designed to kill brain cells."

The sound of a soft knock at the bedroom door made you jump, nearly upsetting the tower of books you’d been flipping through in your attempt to figure out where in the dumpster fire of this timeline you were.

“Come in?” you called hesitantly, trying to shove the incriminating evidence of your non-villainess-like behavior—a half-written list titled HOW TO NOT DIE TRAGICALLY—under a pillow.

Trey stepped in, balancing a tray of food like he was auditioning for Husband of the Year. His hair was slightly mussed, the sleeves of his button-up rolled up just enough to show forearms that could inspire sonnets. The man was a walking Pinterest board, and it was unfair.

“I brought you something to eat,” he said with a small smile, setting the tray on the table. “You’ve been skipping meals, and that’s not like you.”

You laughed nervously, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself. “Oh, um, yeah. Upset stomach. You know how it is.”

Trey raised an eyebrow, his smile unwavering but his eyes far too knowing. “Sure. And I’ll be here while you eat, just to make sure you’re feeling better.”

Oh, no.

You stared at the tray like it had betrayed you. Soup, bread, and some suspiciously perfect desserts that looked like they had been made by the hands of an angel. You couldn’t say no without sounding even sketchier.

“Right,” you muttered, picking up the spoon with the grace of someone about to face a firing squad. As you sipped, Trey watched silently, his chin resting on one hand, his soft gaze pinned on you. The air felt so heavy you could’ve cut it with a butter knife.

“Are you going to go through with it?” he asked suddenly.

You froze mid-bite, the words hitting you like a frying pan to the face. “Go through with… what?”

“The divorce,” he said simply.

You choked on your soup. The spoon clattered back into the bowl as you grabbed a napkin, trying to avoid literally dying of shock. Divorce? Divorce?! That wasn’t in the plan! You knew what happened after the divorce—the villainess died, and you weren’t about to let fate steamroll you into an early grave, again.

“What? No! Of course not!” you sputtered, waving your hands in frantic denial. “Why would I want a divorce? You’re, uh, great! Fantastic! A literal dream husband!”

Trey blinked, his brows furrowing in confusion before his expression softened into something warmer, almost relieved. “You… want to work things out?”

“Yes!” you blurted, nodding with enough enthusiasm to give yourself whiplash. “Absolutely! Let’s work this out. Together. Like a team.”

His lips curved into a rare, genuine smile that nearly melted you on the spot. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead that left your brain doing cartwheels. “Alright. I’ll hold you to that. I’ll be back for dinner, so rest up until then.”

He left the room, and the moment the door clicked shut, you flopped back onto the bed like a deflated balloon. The pillow muffled your scream of embarrassment as you kicked your feet, equal parts flustered and mortified. What was that? Why did he have to be so sweet? How were you supposed to survive this level of tenderness without combusting?

The door creaked open again.

You froze mid-giggle, legs tangled in the sheets like a caught fish. Trey stood in the doorway, eyebrow raised and looking like he was about two seconds away from bursting into laughter. “Forgot my pen,” he said casually, strolling over to grab the item from the bedside table.

You wanted the floor to swallow you whole. “Oh. Uh. Right.”

He paused on his way out, leaning down to kiss your cheek with infuriating gentleness. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

And just like that, he was gone again, leaving you red-faced, flustered, and questioning every life choice that had led to this moment.

It had been such a nice meal. The kind where the food was good, the company better, and the wine just strong enough to make you feel warm and floaty but not stupid. Trey was smiling faintly at you over his plate, his rare but deeply satisfying I’m enjoying myself face in full effect, and you dared to think, Hey, maybe I can survive this isekai nonsense after all.

And then the restaurant door swung open, and your fragile peace shattered like a dropped wine glass.

The prince had arrived.

Trey’s face immediately darkened like a thunderstorm on the horizon, and you felt yourself lose a year of your life just from sheer dread. The prince was a walking disaster in human form, and you’d been hoping to avoid him like the plague. But the universe clearly hated you because here he was, sashaying through the restaurant like he owned the place.

“Oh no,” you whispered, gripping your fork like it could somehow protect you.

Trey’s jaw tightened as the prince spotted you both, his grin wide enough to make you wish the floor would open up and swallow you.

“Darlings!” the prince cried, crossing the room with the enthusiasm of a golden retriever off its leash. “Fancy seeing you here!”

You didn’t even get a chance to object before he grabbed a chair from a nearby table, spun it around dramatically, and wedged himself between you and Trey, plopping down like he’d been invited. Spoiler alert: he hadn’t.

“Your Highness,” Trey said through clenched teeth, managing to sound both polite and like he was ready to stab someone with a salad fork.

“Oh, come now, Trey,” the prince laughed, waving off the formality. “No need to be so stiff. After all, we’re practically family!”

You didn’t get the chance to ask how that made sense before he grabbed your hand—and Trey’s—planting a wet, sloppy kiss on each. The sound it made was unholy, like a boot pulling free from a swamp. You and Trey simultaneously stiffened, the same thought clearly running through your minds: Don’t cringe, don’t cringe, don’t cringe…

“I simply had to come over when I saw you two!” the prince gushed, oblivious to your visible discomfort. “The saintess—bless her kind, radiant heart—has been dying to see you both!”

You glanced at Trey, who was visibly restraining himself from rolling his eyes.

“She’s throwing a ball this weekend,” the prince continued, clasping his hands together like he was sharing the world’s most exciting news. “And you must come. Truly, it’d be… well, treasonous not to, considering we’re both inviting you!”

Ah, there it was. The veiled threat disguised as politeness. You hated that this guy was smart enough to wield his royal status as a weapon, even if he made everything sound like it came with a complimentary gift basket.

You forced a smile, hoping it didn’t look too much like a grimace. “We’d be honored, Your Highness.”

Trey shot you a subtle look, one that very clearly said Traitor, but you knew he agreed. Anything to avoid another round of Wet Hand Kisses.

“Wonderful!” the prince declared, clapping his hands together. “I knew you two would understand. You always were the reasonable ones.”

He finally stood up, ruffling Trey’s hair in a way that made his eye twitch before striding off like he hadn’t just hijacked your peaceful dinner.

As soon as the door swung shut behind him, you slumped back in your chair, utterly drained. “I feel like I need to bathe in holy water.”

Trey pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, “I should’ve poisoned his dessert last time.”

You stared at him. “You what?”

“Nothing,” he said, picking up his fork like nothing had happened. “Let’s finish eating.”

You could still feel the ghost of the prince’s wet kiss on your hand, and you shuddered. “Do you think we can fake our deaths before Saturday?”

Trey actually looked like he was considering it.

The ball was, against all odds, actually enjoyable. The lights glittered like fairy dust, the music was just the right level of lively, and the wine was strong enough to turn your earlier dread into a warm, floaty haze. Trey was by your side, charming in his tailored suit, and for once, the prince and saintess were blissfully absent.

"Maybe they got lost," you whispered to Trey, leaning in conspiratorially. "Or better yet, maybe they found a better party and decided to leave us alone."

Trey smirked, sipping his wine. "If only we were that lucky."

Your hopes were dashed, naturally, when the prince appeared out of nowhere like some unholy summon. One second you were lifting a glass to your lips, and the next, your arm was being yanked so hard you almost spilled your drink.

“Come now, my dear!” the prince declared, grinning in a way that felt more like a threat than an invitation. “Dance with me!”

Before you could even process what was happening, you were being twirled onto the dance floor. Across the room, you caught a glimpse of Trey being snatched by the saintess, who looked like she had all the coordination of a baby deer on ice.

The prince pulled you in too close, his breath an unholy concoction of garlic and what might’ve been sour milk. You tried to politely lean back, but he just leaned closer, grinning obliviously.

“You’re stiff, my dear,” he said, his voice low and entirely too sultry for someone who smelled like a kitchen accident. “Loosen up!”

Meanwhile, Trey was enduring his own nightmare. The saintess stepped on his foot with her stiletto for the fourth time, and you could swear you saw him wince in actual pain. She was chattering nonstop about something—maybe puppies, maybe world peace—you couldn’t hear over the sound of her heels clobbering the floor.

When the ordeal finally ended, you staggered back to Trey, feeling like you’d aged ten years. He looked equally frazzled, rubbing his shoulder like it had been yanked out of its socket.

“I’d say that was horrible,” he said under his breath, “but I think ‘horrible’ is too kind.”

Before you could respond, the saintess suddenly tripped. She wasn’t even near you—she was all the way across the room—but she hit the ground with a dramatic thud, and her dress promptly ripped down the side.

You blinked. “Wait, what just—”

“I knew it!” she screeched, pointing an accusatory finger at you from the floor. “You sabotaged me!”

The prince, for once, looked baffled. He glanced between her and you like he was trying to solve a complicated riddle. “But… she wasn’t even near you?”

“SABOTAGE!” the saintess shrieked again, her voice cracking.

The original villainess would’ve taken the high road, maybe pretended to be insulted or outraged. You, however, were just drunk enough to find the entire thing hilarious.

You laughed. Loudly.

And to your absolute delight, the crowd followed suit. Quiet snickers turned into outright guffaws as everyone around you dissolved into laughter.

The saintess gawked, looking like a wet cat as she scrambled to her feet. “You’re all… MONSTERS!” she shrieked, before fleeing the room with a level of dramatics that would make even a soap opera jealous.

The prince hesitated, torn between chasing after her or staying to glower at you and Trey. Finally, with a sigh that sounded suspiciously like “I hate my life,” he ran after her, disappearing into the night.

“Well,” Trey said, offering his hand with a faint smirk, “that was… something. Care to salvage the evening with a proper dance?”

You took his hand, letting him spin you onto the floor. The music softened, the crowd fading into the background as Trey pulled you close.

“You look stunning tonight,” he murmured, his lips brushing your ear as you danced.

The compliment hit you like a sucker punch, leaving you so dazed that, in your flustered state, you impulsively dipped him instead of the other way around.

Trey laughed, eyes crinkling with genuine delight. “What are you doing?”

“Shut up,” you hissed, cheeks burning as you held the pose.

But to your surprise, he didn’t protest. He let you dip him, even laughing as you pulled him back up. And when the dance ended, he kissed your cheek, sending your heart into a full-on meltdown.

“That,” he said, his voice filled with amusement, “was the most fun I’ve had at a ball in years.”

The tea party was a picturesque affair, all pastel tablecloths, delicate porcelain cups, and the kind of floral arrangements that screamed wealth and good taste. You were seated with Riddle, Cater, and Che’nya at a table tucked under a wisteria-laden gazebo, trying your best to survive the endless parade of gossip and sweets.

The conversation drifted naturally, like it always did, until someone—probably Cater—brought up the topic of Trey.

“Y’know,” Cater began, swirling his tea with exaggerated nonchalance, “Trey’s been looking at you like you personally hung the moon and stars lately. It’s kinda adorable.”

Che’nya leaned over, grinning like the Cheshire Cat he was. “So deep in love, it’s practically a romantic trench. What’s your secret, huh? Love potion? A really good pie?”

You chuckled, brushing off the comment, but then you glanced across the garden—and froze.

There he was, Trey Clover, the ridiculously perfect husband material that fate had handed you in this bizarre isekai life. He was standing a little ways off, chatting with a few nobles, but his gaze was unmistakably fixed on you.

When your eyes met, he smiled. Not just any smile—a warm, genuine, I-would-die-for-you-and-bake-you-cookies-afterwards kind of smile. It hit you like a runaway carriage.

Your chest tightened, your stomach flipped, and for a moment, the entire world seemed to pause.

Oh no.

Oh no.

You were in so deep.

Like, Titanic-hitting-the-iceberg-and-sinking-to-the-ocean-floor deep.

“Uh oh,” Cater sang, leaning closer with a smirk that could only mean trouble. “I know that look. Someone just had their Hallmark movie epiphany.”

You snapped out of it, cheeks burning. “What look? I don’t have a look!”

“Oh, you totally do,” Che’nya chimed in, his grin somehow wider. “It’s all dreamy and starry-eyed, like you’re in a fairy tale. Which, I guess you kinda are?”

Riddle, ever the straight man in these situations, regarded you with a mix of pity and exasperation. “Please tell me you’re not about to let these two meddle in your relationship.”

But before you could defend yourself, Cater was already leaning forward, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Cay-Cay’s got you covered! Wanna confess? I can totally set the mood—candles, roses, soft music…”

“I—what?” you stammered, still too dazed by your revelation to form a coherent response.

“That’s a yes!” Che’nya declared, clapping his hands together. “Alright, let’s brainstorm. Hot air balloon confession? Dramatic rain scene? Ooh, what about—”

“Absolutely not,” Riddle interrupted, his tone sharp as ever. He turned to you, expression weary. “I’ll make sure they don’t do anything absurd, but honestly, why not just tell Trey yourself? He’s your husband.”

You groaned, sinking into your chair as Cater and Che’nya continued to scheme with increasingly outlandish ideas. Meanwhile, Riddle looked at you like you’d just wired your entire fortune to a scammer and promised to fix it for you later.

Across the garden, Trey caught your gaze again, his brows furrowing slightly in concern at your flustered state. He started to make his way over, and your heart leapt into your throat.

Oh no.

Whatever happened next, you were absolutely not ready.

Riddle had been firm, as always. “A pie,” he said with the kind of authority you’d expect from someone sentencing a man to death. “It’s simple, heartfelt, and Trey would appreciate the effort. Not that I have time to indulge in frivolities like this, but… you’re lucky I know the basics.”

Turns out, Riddle did not know the basics. And neither did you.

What followed could only be described as a culinary catastrophe.

The kitchen looked like it had been struck by a flour tornado, with you and Riddle at its chaotic epicenter. Your attempt at pie dough was a war crime in the making—half stuck to the counter, half to your hands, and none of it remotely edible.

“Why is it stretching?” Riddle hissed, his face as red as his hair, holding one end of the dough while you gripped the other. The elastic monstrosity between you refused to snap, stretching longer and longer like some unholy noodle.

“I don’t know!” you shrieked back, your voice an octave higher than usual. “I followed the instructions! Mostly! Kind of!”

“‘Kind of’ isn’t good enough! Put some force into it!”

Riddle tugged one end of the dough like he was in a tug-of-war with a particularly stubborn ghost. You yanked back, and the dough elongated even further, wobbling ominously in the air.

That’s when Trey walked in.

He stopped in the doorway, taking in the absolute chaos: the flour-streaked counter, the rolling pin embedded in what used to be a bag of sugar, and you and Riddle holding opposite ends of the world’s saddest dough.

“What… exactly is happening here?” Trey asked, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

You froze, still clutching the dough. Riddle looked like he wanted the earth to swallow him whole.

“We’re baking,” you managed to squeak out.

Trey blinked, then burst into laughter, the sound warm and rich like honey. “Is that what you’re calling this?”

His laughter didn’t help your embarrassment, but the way he stepped forward, gently taking the dough from you and Riddle like a benevolent baking god, did. “Alright, let’s see if we can salvage this. Flour, water… and patience. You two watch and learn.”

You stood back, flustered and hopelessly smitten as Trey worked his magic. In minutes, he turned your disaster into a perfectly respectable pie crust. He even smiled at you both as if to say nice try, kids, and it made you feel oddly warm inside.

Still too mortified to admit the pie was meant for him, you let him finish it while Riddle quietly excused himself, muttering about overdue paperwork.

You did feel for Riddle, poor guy was stuck babysitting the Prince after all. Maybe the dough was sad because of his stress.

Later, Cater and Che’nya were far too pleased with themselves when they found you.

“So,” Cater said, grinning, “how’s Operation Swoon going?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you grumbled, remembering the dough debacle.

Che’nya’s grin widened. “Lucky for you, we’ve got Plan B: flowers! Romantic, classic, and impossible to mess up.”

You weren’t sure about that last part, but their enthusiasm was infectious. You ended up at a florist with Cater coaching you through every step, from picking out the blooms to tying a ribbon. By the time you were done, the bouquet looked gorgeous.

When you handed the flowers to Trey later, he looked… stunned. His eyes widened, his cheeks turned faintly pink, and his smile was so soft and genuine that you nearly dropped dead on the spot.

“For me?” he asked, his voice quieter than usual.

You nodded, suddenly nervous. “Yeah. Just, uh, wanted to thank you. For everything. You know.”

Trey cradled the bouquet like it was something precious. “Thank you. Really. This means a lot.”

And when he smiled at you again, you realized that maybe, just maybe, Cater and Che’nya’s meddling wasn’t so bad after all.

You were practically vibrating with excitement as you entered the restaurant, rare flower in hand. You’d spent far too much money on it, but it was worth it. Trey deserved nothing less. The merchant had waxed poetic about how the flower symbolized eternal devotion, and you figured it was the perfect way to set the stage for your long-overdue confession.

Trey was already seated at the table, his calm demeanor somehow both comforting and devastatingly attractive. When he saw you approach, his eyes softened, and that sweet smile of his—the one that made your knees weak—spread across his face.

You handed him the flower, and his expression lit up as though you’d just handed him the moon.

“For me?” he asked, his voice full of surprise and warmth.

“Of course,” you said, a little shy but mostly proud of yourself. “I thought it suited you.”

His fingers brushed yours as he took the flower, and before you knew it, you were holding hands across the table. The atmosphere felt perfect—soft candlelight, his warm gaze locked on yours, and your heart pounding like it had just discovered cardio.

This was it. The moment to confess that you loved him.

You opened your mouth, ready to pour your heart out—

And then she appeared.

The saintess, an uninvited hurricane in the form of a woman, swept into the room with all the grace of a bull in a china shop. You barely had time to process her arrival before she snatched the flower from Trey’s hand like a seagull stealing a french fry.

“Oh, Trey, you shouldn’t have!” she gushed, clutching the flower to her chest like a deranged soap opera villain. “How thoughtful of you to get this for me!”

Trey’s face froze in what could only be described as polite murder. His jaw tightened, his grip on the table visibly white-knuckled.

You, however, were already halfway to a breakdown. “Excuse me?” you sputtered.

The saintess ignored you entirely.

Enter the prince, the human equivalent of a golden retriever who’d been hit on the head one too many times. He trailed behind her, clearly regretting his existence. For once, he seemed to grasp the gravity of the situation and awkwardly tried to mediate.

“Ah, maybe I should—uh—just give this back,” he mumbled, reaching for the flower.

The saintess responded by shoving him.

The prince, unprepared for even the gentlest resistance, stumbled directly into Trey’s arms.

Trey, now holding a grown man like a bridal bouquet, froze. His eyes darted to you, silently screaming what do I do with this?

Before he could decide, the prince looked up at him, smiled coyly, and winked.

You might’ve laughed if the saintess hadn’t chosen that exact moment to drape herself across you.

“Oh, my dear friend,” she simpered, batting her lashes, “surely you understand Trey’s affection for me. You’ll support us, won’t you?”

You were too stunned to respond, stuck holding the saintess like an overly affectionate sloth. Across the table, Trey looked like he was begging whatever gods existed for an escape route.

Finally, something in Trey snapped. Gently—yet firmly—he set the prince in his seat like a toddler being put in timeout. Then, without a word, he reached across, grabbed the saintess by the arm, and unceremoniously deposited her in her own chair.

“You’ll have to excuse us,” Trey said, his voice smooth but his expression pure I’m done with this nonsense. He grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the restaurant, not even sparing a glance back.

Oh, and he definitely took the flower back.

In the carriage, Trey was silent, his expression unreadable. You hesitated before asking, “Are you okay?”

He exhaled slowly, running a hand through his hair. “I’m just… tired.”

“Of what?”

“Of not having moments with you for myself,” he said, his voice soft but full of frustration. “Every time I try to enjoy being with you, someone interrupts. I just… I want you. Just you.”

Your heart practically melted on the spot. Overwhelmed by his honesty, you leaned forward and kissed him—a gentle, tentative gesture that said everything you’d been too nervous to put into words.

Trey froze for a moment, then pulled you closer, kissing you again, this time deeper and with so much emotion that you thought your brain might short-circuit. His hands cradled your face, and the world outside the carriage ceased to exist.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his smile so radiant it made your heart skip. “I guess this means you’re mine?”

You nodded, breathless.

“And I’m yours,” he murmured, sealing the confession with another kiss that left you thoroughly, blissfully dazed.

It was supposed to be a simple stroll through the common garden—just you and Trey enjoying a rare moment of peace. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and you were basking in the warmth of Trey's smile when, out of the corner of your eye, you saw him.

The prince.

And worse, the pebble.

You recognized it instantly—the cursed rock from the original novel, the one destined to send the prince spiraling into a tragic, fatal end. It glittered ominously on the path, as if taunting fate.

The prince, blissfully unaware, strutted forward like he owned the place. He stepped right onto the pebble, his foot slipping out from under him with comical precision.

In that split second, you knew what you had to do. Annoying as he was, no one deserved to die because of a glorified piece of gravel.

You lunged forward, grabbing the prince by the arm and yanking him upright just before disaster struck.

He looked at you, wide-eyed, for all of two seconds before breaking into a toothy grin. “Ah, so this is love,” he declared, dramatically placing a hand over his heart. “Fear not, my dear! Your feelings for me are obvious, and I, in my infinite generosity, shall grant you the honor of becoming my bride!”

Trey, who had been watching this unfold with his usual calm, suddenly stiffened. His hand slipped into yours, his grip firm but not unkind as he gently pulled you closer.

“Your Highness,” Trey began, his voice polite but laced with steel, “I think you may have misunderstood something.”

“Oh?” The prince arched a brow, clearly oblivious to the warning signs.

“She's already married,” Trey said, his tone so calm and measured it was borderline terrifying. “To me.”

The prince’s eyes lit up with excitement, not deterred in the slightest. “A rivalry for their love, then? Excellent! Let the best man win!”

You opened your mouth to protest, but Riddle—ever the voice of reason (or exhaustion)—strode into the fray like a man who had been dealing with this nonsense for far too long.

“Your Highness,” Riddle snapped, looking entirely done with life. “What in the sevens are you doing?” Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed the prince by the collar and dragged him away like a scolding parent hauling a toddler out of the candy aisle.

“You can’t just propose to married people!” Riddle hissed as they disappeared down the path.

Left in their wake, you spotted Cater and Che’nya lounging under a tree, shamelessly munching on popcorn. Cater caught your eye and waved, looking far too entertained by the whole ordeal.

“Did you see Trey’s face?” Che’nya whispered loudly. “I’d give it a solid nine out of ten on the jealousy scale.”

“Totally,” Cater agreed. “Hey, Alfred!” he called to the butler nearby. “Get me a glass of wine; this show’s getting good!”

Before you could decide whether to laugh or cringe, Trey’s hand gently tilted your chin, drawing your attention back to him.

“Focus on me,” he murmured, his gaze locking onto yours.

And oh, jealous Trey was adorable. His usual calm demeanor was tinged with a possessiveness that made your heart skip several beats.

Caught up in the moment, you leaned forward and kissed him, a quick but sweet gesture that left him blinking in surprise before a soft smile spread across his face.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Cater almost spill his wine in excitement, while Che’nya clapped like a seal.

“Now that’s spicy!” Che’nya crowed.

“I need another glass,” Cater sighed dramatically, as if the sheer romance was too much for his delicate heart.

But you didn’t care. Trey’s arm slid around your waist, pulling you closer, and for once, the rest of the world faded away.

The war room was dead silent, the kind of silence so heavy you could hear the shuffle of maps and the scratch of quills on parchment. Every important figure of the empire was present—Trey and you, the Emperor and Empress, military generals whose scowls could crack stone, the Pope looking as though he’d rather be anywhere else, and, shockingly, even the Prince, for once not actively trying to ruin someone’s day.

Strategies were discussed in grim tones. Supply lines, terrain advantages, possible reinforcement numbers—you and Trey were fully immersed in weighing the support your duchy could offer. For once, even the Prince managed to look engaged, though he was suspiciously chewing on the end of his quill like a kid stuck in detention.

Then, like an uninvited storm, the doors slammed open.

“Hellooooooo!”

Every head in the room turned as the Saintess waltzed in, an hour late, as if this were a garden party and not a high-stakes war council. She was dressed in what could only be described as a fever dream of bad taste: a dress so garish and bedazzled it could probably be seen from orbit, complete with absurd feathered accessories sticking out at odd angles like a startled peacock.

“Sorry, I’m late,” she sang, twirling unnecessarily as if this was a runway. “I couldn’t decide which dress to wear. Do you think this one looks good?”

The silence was palpable, charged with a collective secondhand embarrassment that could power an entire city.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, wondering if you could claim an "upset stomach" for the fifth time this month. Then, unable to stop yourself, you deadpanned, “Yes. It’d make a great enemy flag.”

Trey choked on a laugh, quickly covering it with a cough. The Pope crossed himself, possibly praying for patience. One of the military generals muttered something under his breath, hand twitching toward the hilt of his sword. The Prince just buried his face in his hands.

The Saintess, predictably, burst into tears. “You’re so mean! I’m just trying to brighten up this dreary meeting!”

The Emperor looked deeply, soul-crushingly confused, glancing at the generals as if to ask, Does this happen often? Meanwhile, the Empress, seated beside him, was gripping the armrest of her chair so tightly her knuckles were turning white.

Trey sighed and leaned closer to you. “I’ll handle it,” he murmured, giving you a quick nod before standing.

He approached her like one might approach a wild animal, hands raised in surrender. “Saintess, perhaps we could discuss this outside—”

But no sooner had he stepped within arm’s reach did she trip. On purpose.

In what could only be described as an Olympian-level act of self-preservation, Trey sidestepped so swiftly she ended up flailing through the air like a failed acrobat.

She landed directly on top of the Emperor.

The entire room froze.

The Emperor looked down at the Saintess sprawled across his lap with the bewilderment of someone who just found a raccoon in their bed. The generals were wide-eyed, clearly waiting for his reaction before deciding if they needed to draw their swords. The Pope had started sweating through his robes, clutching his staff like it was his last lifeline.

And then, like an avenging goddess, the Empress rose from her seat.

Without a single word, she grabbed the Saintess by her feathered hairpiece and hauled her up like a disobedient child. The Saintess shrieked, limbs flailing, but the Empress dragged her toward the door with a grim determination.

“OUT.”

The doors slammed shut behind them, and the silence that followed was deafening.

Trey cleared his throat, brushing off his sleeves as if nothing had happened. “Well,” he said, returning to his seat beside you. “That was… eventful.”

“Eventful?” you hissed, elbowing him. “She just dive-bombed the Emperor!”

Trey shrugged, lips twitching. “And yet here we are, still alive. I’d call that a win.”

Across the table, the Emperor straightened his robes, trying to reclaim what little dignity he had left. “Shall we… continue?” he asked, though his tone suggested he wanted nothing more than a stiff drink and a nap.

You nodded, biting your lip to suppress a laugh as the meeting resumed. Somehow, against all odds, you managed to get back to planning strategy. But you knew this story was one for the history books. Or at least for drunken retellings later.

The negotiation room was a grand affair, with gilded walls, an impossibly long table, and an air of tension so thick you could slice it with a butter knife.

The opposing kingdom’s crown princess sat across from your delegation, radiating intelligence and poise. Her every word was measured, her presence commanding, and she somehow managed to make a simple quill look like a weapon of mass destruction.

Meanwhile, your prince was... spinning in his chair.

“Wheeeee!”

You felt your soul leave your body.

“Your Highness,” Riddle hissed, his voice laced with the kind of fury only a man on the verge of a migraine could muster. “Compose yourself!”

The prince paused mid-spin, blinking like he’d just remembered where he was. “Right, right. Negotiations. Totally got this.” He picked up a quill and twirled it between his fingers like a toddler pretending to be an adult.

You buried your face in your hands, quietly mourning the future of your kingdom.

Across the table, their saint was the picture of grace, clasping their hands as though ready to bestow divine blessings upon the room. They exuded an aura of peace and righteousness that made you think, Ah, yes, this is what a saint should look like.

And then there was your saintess.

She was currently leaning against the wall, dramatically fanning herself with a peacock-feathered fan that you were pretty sure wasn’t hers. She’d arrived late, claiming she’d been “blessed by the spirits of fashion,” and was wearing a gown so covered in rhinestones that it could probably be seen from space.

You caught Trey’s eye from across the table. He looked entirely too amused, like he was moments away from bursting into laughter. You glared at him, silently begging him to take this seriously.

He raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching upward as if to say, I’m trying.

Thankfully, the Empress had come along for damage control. She sat at the head of the table, calm and unflappable, effortlessly steering the conversation back on track whenever your prince derailed it with comments like, “So, how do you guys feel about dragons?”

When the opposing kingdom’s crown princess suggested an ambassador exchange as part of the peace treaty, the Empress visibly perked up.

“That’s an excellent idea,” she said smoothly. “In fact, we have the perfect candidate.”

You felt a sliver of hope. Maybe she’d suggest Riddle—he was intelligent, responsible, and would undoubtedly represent your kingdom well. Or Trey, whose calm demeanor and charm could win over anyone. Or—dare you dream—maybe even you, since you were clearly the only one in this circus who had a shred of common sense. And the two of you could move away from this hellhole.

“We’ll send the saintess,” the Empress announced, her voice dripping with what could only be described as malicious glee.

You blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

The crown princess on the other side of the table looked mildly alarmed. “Um,” she began, clearly searching for a polite way to decline.

“She’ll be an excellent cultural ambassador,” the Empress continued, her smile widening. “She’s... unforgettable.”

Riddle’s eye twitched, but he said nothing. Trey looked down at the table, probably to hide his grin.

The saintess, oblivious to the underlying implications, squealed in delight. “Oh my gosh, finally! I’ve always wanted to travel!”

The opposing kingdom reluctantly agreed—probably under the assumption that taking her would somehow count as reparations.

When you all finally returned home, the atmosphere was noticeably lighter, as though a glittery, rhinestone-encrusted weight had been lifted off your collective shoulders.

Trey leaned over in the carriage, his voice low and amused. “Well, I’d call that a success.”

“Success?” you laughed. “We basically tricked another kingdom into taking her off our hands.”

Trey’s smile was soft as he reached for your hand. “And we averted a war in the process.”

You sighed, but your heart skipped a beat when his thumb brushed against your knuckles. Maybe you could live with this version of “success.”

Without the saintess egging him on, the prince had downgraded from menace to society to mildly annoying NPC. He still popped up every now and then, offering unsolicited advice on topics he clearly didn’t understand, but Riddle—bless his overworked soul—had finally had enough. As royal advisor, he slapped the prince with permanent probation, effectively keeping him confined to paperwork and far, far away from you and Trey.

Life, for once, was peaceful.

So peaceful, in fact, that you and Trey found yourselves back at that restaurant—the same one that had become the backdrop for two very traumatic encounters. It felt like tempting fate, but Trey, ever the optimist, assured you that lightning wouldn’t strike thrice.

And for once, he was right.

The food was good, the atmosphere was cozy, and not a single insufferable royal barged in to ruin the evening. You both laughed, reminisced, and indulged in desserts that Trey—being the baking connoisseur he was—had plenty of opinions about.

By the time you left the restaurant, the streets were quiet, bathed in the soft glow of lanterns. The air was crisp but not cold, and everything felt oddly serene, like the universe was apologizing for all the nonsense it had previously thrown your way.

As you walked side by side, Trey suddenly stopped.

You turned to face him, confused. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he knelt down on one knee, pulling a small velvet box from his pocket.

Your brain short-circuited.

“Trey—”

“Before you say anything,” he began, his voice steady but tinged with emotion, “I just want you to know that despite how things started between us... I’ve never regretted a single moment with you.” He looked up at you, his green eyes warm and sincere. “You’ve made me happier than I ever thought I could be, and if you’ll let me, I want to spend the rest of my life making you just as happy.”

He opened the box, revealing a ring—simple, elegant, and undeniably perfect. “So... will you marry me? Again?”

You stared at him, your chest tight with emotions you couldn’t even begin to untangle. And then you laughed—because how else were you supposed to process the sheer ridiculousness of everything that had led to this moment?

“Yes,” you said, your voice trembling with joy. “Of course, yes.”

He stood, sliding the ring onto your finger with a smile that could have melted glaciers.

And then he kissed you—soft, slow, and so full of love that it felt like the world around you ceased to exist.

Somewhere in the distance, you thought you heard a cat knock over a trash can, but nothing could ruin this moment.

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[mha-grievances]

Alright, I’m bored again so I’m going to rank all of the arcs from best to worst:

Great:

1. Hero Killer Arc: This arc and number 2 on this list proves that MHA had such potential. Watching Izuku grow and his efforts/impact on other people being acknowledged was great to see. We’ve got fantastic growth for the three main characters and a very good antagonist(despite some issues I have with Stain’s goal). Best of all, no Katsuki.

2. Shie Hissaki Arc: another great arc with a lot of great fights and characters. Watching Izuku vs Overhaul was thrilling and being introduced to The Big 3 and some cool pro heroes was a treat. There are some issues I have with this arc, such as how Overhaul’s motivations suck (he sees quirks as cooties when he literally has the best quirk in Japan) and that some characters could’ve been developed more (I would’ve loved to see more from the Eight Bullets and Nejire), but it was overall a good experience. And again, no Katsuki.

3. USJ Arc: Other than Katsuki’s dumbass endangering everyone and not getting called out for it, I had a blast with this arc. Solid character interactions all around and a fantastic fight to end it all off.

4. U.A Festival Arc: Gentle was a breath of fresh air in terms of villains and I really enjoyed his fight with Izuku. This would’ve been number 3 if not for the fact Izuku gets yelled at for doing his job and Katsuki gets another point added to him being a Gary Stu by revealing yet another talent he has that he shouldn’t.

Good:

5. Entrance Exam Arc: It was a solid setup for getting to know Izuku, All Might, and the world of MHA. It was one of the few times that the narrative wasn’t sucking on Katsuki’s dick too.

6. Forest Training Arc: The final arc that I’d consider good. We’ve got some solid moments here. Fumikage going berserk, Mezou carrying everyone to safety being introduced to the main LoV members, Izuku vs Muscular, and the character of Kota were nice additions to the series. We even got to see some of 1-B, even if it wasn’t much.

Alright:

7: Meta Liberation Arc: Now we’re in the area where these arcs aren’t bad, but they clearly exist just to set things up. This is an arc that would’ve been fantastic if it wasn’t for the fact it led nowhere. Yes, a good chunk of the LoV received fantastic development but the MLA were so lame, and by that, I mean they’re introduced here only to serve as canon fodder in the next arc.

8. Pro Hero Arc: I don’t really have any complaints about this arc nor do I have anything to say outside the fact Endeavor’s fight with the High End was pretty neat.

9. Hideout Raid Arc: only reason this isn’t in the “good” or “great “ category is cause it was centered around Katsuki. All Might vs AFO was a fantastic conclusion to the first saga of MHA and I liked seeing the rescue squad in action… even though Katsuki made it a pain to be rescued.

10. U.A traitor Arc: I don’t really care about this arc for two reasons, one is that the foreshadowing leading up to this moment sucked and that we never really got to spend enough time with Yuuga to care much about the reveal.

Bad:

11. Endeavor Agency Arc: Now we’re at the part where I dislike all of these arcs. This is an arc that Katsuki ruins due to him being a shitty character. Him yelling at a trauma victim to stop talking about her trauma in her own damn house was obnoxious. Katsuki didn’t need to be in this arc whatsoever. Remove him and this arc would’ve had a much higher rating for actually tackling Endeavor’s character and relationship with his family in a solid manner.

12. Sports Festival Arc: The Sports Festival Arc would’ve been fantastic it is weren’t for certain points. First off, this is where the Katsuki dick sucking really began. Shota acts like a mouthpiece for Katsuki even though the people booing him were right in the fact that he could’ve ended the fight easily. He also wasn’t taking Ochako seriously at all, literally announcing “it’s time to get serious” once her strat failed. He should’ve lost against Shoto too seeing as Shoto’s ice is a direct counter to his quirk. Finally, Katsuki had no right listening in on Shoto and Izuku’s conversation and demanding anything from Shoto, a point that’s never addressed. Secondly, all the Gen Ed kids were assholes for no reason. Who in their right mind sees 1-A going through a traumatic experience as them seeing themselves better than everyone else? Yeah, Katsuki gave off a bad impression but he’s just one guy. Finally, this was the arc that introduced Hitoshi, a failed attempt by Hori at tackling the idea of prejudice. Instead of someone bitter at the world for being screwed by society, we got an entitled bitch.

13. Remedial Course Arc: as much as I love Gang Orca, this arc served no purpose. Katsuki gives off a line that feels undeserved seeing as he’d go off undermining people afterwards but this arc’s biggest flaw was that it really didn’t have to exist.

Crap:

14. Battle Trial Arc: Now we’re in the really bad arcs. The Battle Trial Arc is once again ruined by Katsuki. Despite being told by All Might not to fire that explosion, he still does. Yes, he aimed it in a way that it wouldn’t kill Izuku, but the fact that All Might was worried that it could’ve killed Izuku meant that firing that thing in a narrow hallway could’ve seriously injured him. Katsuki suddenly switching up his fighting style despite having no formal training’s the first instance of his plot armor showing up, with the second being that he wasn’t disqualified. Katsuki being afraid of 1-A’s potential went nowhere cause he ended up winning the Sports Festival and would undermine 1-A constantly. Finally, Izuku telling Katsuki about his “borrowed power” was dumb. Everything else was fine though, but not enough to make up for Katsuki’s flaws.

15. Paranormal Liberation Arc: Would’ve been much higher but there are several glaring flaws. Izuku defending Endeavor’s character was one of those moments where I audibly groaned. Katsuki’s plot armor kicks it up into turbo gear by having him have a quirk awakening, surviving an attack that should’ve destroyed his stomach with zero consequences, and giving him an unearned “my body moved on its own” moment.

16. Quirk Apprehension Exam: This arc introduces Shota… and makes all of his flaws known to the audience. I have several posts going over why he sucks and this is the episode that shows it all off. Only thing keeping this from being ranked lower is cause we were also introduced to 1-A.

Shit:

17. Star and Stripe Arc: We’re close to the bottom of the barrel now. Hori introduces a character he never foreshadowed once despite Star and Stripe being the top pro hero of another country and immediately kills her. It does nothing to the plot either. “Oh but it nerfed Tomura” that’s what Hori tells us. Do we actually see what quirks Tomura lost? In fact, after this, his quirk evolves to counter Eraserhead’s. At best all this arc did was stall for time.

18. Dark Hero Arc: what a waste of potential. This would’ve been ranked lower if it wasn’t for Ochako’s speech, Izuku vs Muscular 2, and Izuku helping that fox lady. What makes it shit though? First off, Izuku suddenly unlocks the rest of his quirks. Secondly, 1-A thinks that the best way to get Izuku back is to show up, beat him up, and then kidnap him back to U.A. Third, the pros were offering Izuku no support. He was hungry, tired, and dirty, yet not once did any of them think “hey, if we’re using him as bait to draw AFO out, maybe we should keep him healthy so he can help us once we ambush AFO”. Fourth, Katsuki’s role in this arc. He demeans Izuku in front of his friends, daring to compare Izuku’s desire to protect everyone to him having an ego, and then gives an absolutely poorly timed and terrible apology. God this arc sucks.

19. Joint Training Arc: Oh look, another Katsuki dick sucking session. Sorry, but 1-B does not redeem how awful this arc is. Katsuki’s praised to the moon and back, insults his classmates and the former OFA users with no repercussions, and earns yet another victory. “But he saved Kyouka” but not out of being a good person. He only wanted the victory. Maybe this could’ve been a good step if Katsuki’s arc wasn’t Hori’s attempt at speedrunning a character arc. Yui getting beat by Ochako so effortlessly will forever bother me as one of Yui’s 5 fans (this girl has a 5/6 A+ skill stat, which is higher than Ochako’s). Also, Hitoshi’s here, but he’s actually tolerable here so I’m not going to rant about him.

Super Shit:

20. Provisional License Arc: This is going to be a short write cause there’s not much to be said. It’s yet another Katsuki dick sucking session where the narrative wanks him off. Then there’s Kacchan vs Deku 2, which if you’ve read any of my blogs, you know that this was once my least favorite moment of the series. If you wanna know why this moment was so crap, I have dozens of posts about why it does. And yes, I said it was once my least favorite moment. What’s to come somehow managed to beat it in terms of sheer crap.

I can’t think of any singular phrase to describe how terrible this arc is:

21. Final War Arc: How ironic that the end of the series is also at the end of this list. Where do I even begin? Well, there’s Miruko being the subject of someone’s gore fetish for the third time, AFO overstaying his welcome, Izuku hardly even doing anything, Tomura getting BS power ups up the wazoo, AFO and Izuku never meeting, the mutant portion being handled poorly, Dabi somehow gaining a power up that ultimately served no purpose, and Ochako and Himiko’s portion also being wrapped up poorly. However, what really makes this arc the bottom of the barrel is the dick sucking. Somehow, Katsuki’s able to last the longest against Tomura. Somehow Katsuki manages to score a hit just because he scared Tomura. Somehow Katsuki managed to survive having his heart, arm, and chest blown out via amateur surgery with absolutely no injuries despite being dead for like 5 min without a damn heart and heart surgery not being an answer for a broken arm. And finally, Katsuki gets yet another quirk power up and is now able to compete with AFO. This is THE arc where it’s clear Hori wanted Katsuki to be the protagonist and god damn I will argue that The Room and My Immortal is better than this clusterfuck of an arc.

[bluestar22x]

Finding Eden: Prologue

Summary: The story of how it all began

Pairing: Zach Wellison x F!Reader

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Political talk, nuclear war, civil unrest, rebellion

Word Count: 500(ish)

Author's Note: This is all just background set up. Reader and Zach will be introduced in chapter 1.

xxx

You still remember a time when people used to speculate over a nuclear war occurring and the devastation that it would spawn, mostly focusing on the results from the actual dropping of the atomic bombs.

The blasts, the innocents who would be vaporized or irradiated on impact, the generations of increased birth defects and cancers that would follow later on.

They hardly ever discussed the cataclysmic political, civil, and economic consequences that would sprout after the bombs fell, after the resulting war, after the world embraced chaos.

It started on December 21, 2012 with the early morning bombing of Washington D.C., a declaration of war not just on the United States, but on their allies and humanity in general as well. The use of an atomic bomb in modern warfare was considered vile, barbaric, and inhumane - yet someone still pressed the button to fire back, commencing one of the bloodiest wars in modern times, and one of the most inevitable, both sides too stubborn for quick compromises.

The countries that joined the fight on either side were plentiful and useful. They hit hard. They fell hard.

World War III lasted a measly eight months but it was long enough for the modern world to suffer greatly.

It didn't matter that the Allies had won once more, most especially in the United States.

See the U.S. was already torn by political controversy long before the annihilation of its capital, leaders and civilians alike arguing over their differences like toddlers that had never been taught to play nice. There was no seeing things from the other side, no olive branches broken out, and the fractures in the country's society only compounded after the loss of Washington D.C. and the economic hardship that resulted during the war.

Fingers were pointed without hard facts to back up the reasoning, without understanding the circumstances of decisions that were made, for better or worst.

The blind led the blind. Grief and mistrust bloomed into anger. Anger grew into fury.

People took to the streets in rage, and a civil war unfolded once more on American turf. Except this time it wasn't a war between the north and the south, but between neighbors. In the disarray, anarchy rose up.

Violent mobs of opposing views took part in raiding stores, lighting cars up on the streets, and hiding homemade bombs in unexpected places. The military and police forces that were sent in to put an end to it all only served to rile them up even more.

They all subsequently found middle ground in the red slick that stained the streets.

An outside enemy had taken out the capital, had crippled the country, sending it into a deep depression, but it was the toxic relationship between the surviving members of the US government and its civilians that was the final nail in the country's coffin.

United we stand, divided we fall.

Irrevocably damaged, without aid from its allies who were licking their own ugly wounds, the United States of America was no more.

No man's land was all that remained.

Or so you thought.

xxx

Tagged: @harriedandharassed @morallyinept

xxx

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

xxx

[tankclub]

how would you rate the expansions so far?

it really depends on the criteria. overall i think that ffxiv has gotten better with every expansion, even if i dont always like all of the changes.

more details and rambling under the cut

ok so i broke it out into a few different categories, and i'll rate the expansions on each one:

X.0 MSQ

stormblood

endwalker

shadowbringers

a realm reborn

heavensward

here I'm just talking about the basic MSQ as it launched for the expansion. I put stormblood much higher than most people because I loved the lesbian road trip arc and I loved the azim steppe. the expansion certainly has flaws, but the strong points were really strong.

endwalker tops shadowbringers for me because the elpis section was the only thing that really got me to care about the ancients/ascians, and i think it was necessary context for the whole story arc of the game thus far. endwalker has some issues with pacing and with weakness in the downtime sections (and they clearly didnt know what to do with garlemald, a casualty of the game's shift in focus around shadowbringers).

the others i think are relatively straightforward. i've posted in the past about how i dont like the heavensward story, i think that it kind of botches its themes and the writers got too horny for killing women (in this case ysayle) to tell a good story. it also absolutely squanders the 2.5/55 setup with the ul'dah stuff.

Patch MSQ (X.1, X.2, etc.)

endwalker

a realm reborn

heavensward

shadowbringers

stormblood

endwalker is miles ahead in this category. although its patch story has weaknesses, being able to tell a whole coherent story from 6.1-6.5, without having to have the weird "second climax" for the X.0 story in X.3, puts it ahead of the competition.

ARR scores highly mainly because of just how well the banquet/ul'dah/crystal brave stuff hits. they wasted all of these story threads in heavensward, but especially at the time they absolutely worked.

heavensward makes third because i think it's the only expansion that really made the "x.3 climax" actually work, which is partly down to how the themes of the story worked with "oh and theres more even after you win the climactic battle".

shadowbringers is pretty low for me because i think that its a casualty of the change in narrative leadership. elidibus had been being set up as "the ascian you will talk to", so introducing emet to take that role left him kind of at loose ends. ive played the patch storyline several times to try and understand why people love it so much, and it just never landed for me.

stormblood patch story is the worst this game has ever been. i would put it lower than last if i could

Raids and Jobs

I kinda combined the experience of endgame play into one category, so I'm rating both job design and raid quality here. as the devs said recently, these things are linked, so i didnt think it made sense to separate them. more than the other categories i think this one is influenced by my personal circumstances

shadowbringers

endwalker

heavensward

a realm reborn

stormblood

shadowbringers takes the top spot for my favorite job design (in my beloved shb summoner), a top-class raid series in eden, and the best ultimate raid in TEA.

endwalker i think is really good and a step forward in many ways, but i think the issues with the centralization around 2m burst and inflation of boss hitbox size hold it back from the top spot for me. however, i do like a lot of the additions like criterion, and i hope they continue a lot of what theyve done in this expansion.

i had to put heavensward above arr because it's a straightforward continuation of arr, and also had my second favorite job design in the history of this game (in heavensward warrior, which was broken, goofy, and always fun). also alexander is a fantastic raid, even though coil is more nostalgic for me personally.

stormblood takes the last spot because i didnt enjoy the way the jobs played during that expansion, and mostly skipped it. i was unsubbed for a substantial portion of it, and really only started playing again in the leadup to shadowbringers. possibly i should leave it off this list altogether, simply because i couldnt have evaluated it properly.

Overall

so, i if i combine all of those ratings (weighted equally), i end up with:

endwalker

shadowbringers

a realm reborn

tie between stormblood and heavensward

which i think summarizes my opinions fairly nicely, although as you can see each of the expansions has their strengths.

overall im very excited for dawntrail, and i think it has the potential to be (and likely will be) the best expansion the game has had to date.

[awaywithjay]

Sprizzy Rec List

Here, take this rec list dedicated to my current favorite brain squatters. For such a small pairing there's a crazy amount of really good fic to read.

This list mainly includes 10k+ fics but there are a couple 5k+ ones in there as well. All of them are complete unless I say otherwise.

I could have included a lot more but I've already been working on this list for too long and I want to post it for you guys.

Please mind tags and warnings before you read.

Canon Era

Comprehension by MaggieMay His stance hasn't changed - he'd still sooner keelhaul his own bollocks than do Izzy Hands a favour, but an idea is already taking shape in his head - one that he's certain will have absolutely hilarious consequences in either direction, and for all it might get his throat slit, the odds still work out in favour of, for want of a better phrase, fuckery. If Izzy wants to read, Lucius can teach him.

OR: Lucius' personal approach to 'fuckery' involves lewd gay poetry, and one oblivious and feral first mate.

I'm (Not) Just a Notch in Your Bedpost, You're (Not) Just a Line in a Song by Ennaess It starts with a hand on a sleeve. None of the other crewmembers would have minded--would have thought much of the gesture at all--but no one touches Izzy. Lucius, quite accidently, realizes he would very, very, very much like to touch Izzy. Intimately.

Head and heart on fire by RustyTheTrain Everyone is back together on the Revenge, and things are fine. Until Lucius helps patch up Izzy after he gets hurt on a raid, and then can't stop thinking about him without his shirt on. It is quite annoying. And inconvenient. The last thing Lucius needs is a crush on the angry, asshole first mate Israel Hands.

by any other name by sugarybowl & wishingonalightningbolt Once upon a time, Izzy Hands had a steamy weekend with a pirate called Francis Spriggs. A few years later, he boards the Revenge and meets Spriggs' younger brother, Lucius.

Portrait of a Man on Ire by sweatervest “Yes. To sketching,” Izzy growls. “But on one condition.”Lucius lifts an eyebrow. “And what would that be?”“I sketch you.”

Modern AU

beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth by sugarybowl & wishingonalightningbolt Ed, Izzy, Fang, and Ivan make up the London-based rock band Kraken, which rocketed to fame in the 1990s. When ballad singer Stede Bonnet reaches out about a collaboration, Izzy has to work with Bonnet's songwriter, an overeager composer named Lucius, to write something that aging rockstar Ed and new-on-the-scene Stede can perform together. What's worse is that Lucius is utterly obsessed with a mysterious songwriter called Basilica, a faceless, genderless musician—and he has no idea that Izzy and Basilica are the same person.

and a silver sixpence in his shoe by CyborgShepard Izzy likes lines, likes rules. Likes to know where things start and where they finish, definite and resolved. But where the fuck does getting off to Luce begin, and how does sitting on the bridal table at Ed’s wedding with Lucius end?

Or: The one where Izzy is Ed's best man, Stede wants the most lavish wedding possible, and the person in charge of planning it is the camboy Izzy's been subscribed to for the better part of a year.

under the ashes, i'm on fire by izzyxhands Izzy's having a miserable night at Bonnet's stupid party playing nanny for Ed. Until, that is, Lucius finds him on the balcony and introduces himself. Trans!Izzy modern au.

Work in Progress by sweatervest After a disastrous interview, crime novelist Israel Hands abruptly retired, leaving his popular Detective Leyendecker series one book short of finished. For the last 10 years, he's been content to work as an editor at Edward Teach's small press. But now Ed's working on a merger with Stede Bonnet's press, and Izzy's expected to work with their star author: romance novelist L. Steele.

L. Steele turns out to be Lucius Spriggs, twenty years younger than Izzy and flirts like it's breathing. Worst of all, Lucius recognizes Izzy as Israel Hands.

Money Can(t) Buy Happiness by Blackforestfire [series] Sugar Daddy alternate universe. Lucius and Izzy have an arrangement with strict, specific rules to follow. Each installment in the series shows them drifting farther and farther away from the safety of those rules as feelings and personal growth change their dynamic.

take this sinking boat and point it home by sugarybowl & wishingonalightningbolt [part of series, you can read the Stede/Ed work for context but it's not totally necessary] Izzy supposes he gets used to having the assistant around. That doesn’t mean Izzy likes him. He’s rude, for one thing, completely fucking bitchy. He talks back, rolls his eyes, treats Izzy—treats him the way he treats authority. Dismissively, without a care in the world, as if he could take it or leave it. The most fucking annoying thing about the stupid fucking assistant is his stupid fucking dating life.

The Indignity of a Tender Touch by CloudsPassMeBy Izzy has been doing ballet for so long and he will never, never shit where he eats but he likes Lucius so fucking much.

if love is the answer (you hold on) by CloudsPassMeBy [F/F cisswap] Izzy is dragged kicking and screaming out of retirement to become Lucius’s partner. They may not be able to enter the Olympics as a same sex couple but they’re going to do their fucking best to win Worlds.

Edge of Heaven by RustyTheTrain The job wasn’t supposed to a forever kind of job, more of a until he got his shit together job. Something to keep him going and earn him a paycheck while he worked on his portfolio, freelanced, applied for internships, did what he had to get a foot through the door to the design and illustration world. So far, he hadn’t actually gotten anywhere with his plans, but he now worked five nights a week at the Revenge instead of three, lived in a shitty little apartment in a crappy part of town, spent all his money on rent, books, clothes, take away food and art supplies, and didn’t save anything. He’d be turning 30 that year and figured there was still time to change things. If he wanted to.

lucius Artpopping his pussy for izzy by CyborgShepard [series] [I can't believe I'm having to rec this title] Izzy's always glaring, always coming in here every couple of weeks to sit and brood. He doesn’t even tip, just takes up a table in the back and pretends like he’s not positively vibrating with awkward sexual frustration as he watches Lucius’ shows. And it is always Lucius’ shows he comes to watch. It’d be flattering, Lucius thinks, if Izzy wasn’t so fucking weird about it all.

in the middle of fucking nowhere by bitchlesss Lucius gets stuck in the middle of fucking nowhere with his annoying coworker. Izzy thinks about the past. Until he's too busy to do so.

Special mention

Leda House and the Kraken 'Verse by Vera_DragonMuse [series - different works in the series have different pairings, it's best to read from the beginning but there are several works that focus on Sprizzy] A modern AU that follows the entire staff of the drag bar named Revenge as well as their partners. Features drag shows, late in life coming out stories, romance in many forms, and as much found family as you could ask for.

[transneonneko]

Things from Archie Sonic that I would love to see return in the Mainline Games and/or IDW Sonic!!

Recently, I decided to read some of the Archie Sonic Comic, from like issue 186ish up until the first MegaMan crossover and the reboot, mainly because there were some gaps in my knowledge of those stories. Mainly Issues 198 till 235, which I never got to read as a kid and, I have to say, there were a lot of really interesting concepts during Ian's run of comics before the reboot that I really loved. There was a lot of really interesting concepts I love after the reboot too. I wanna celebrate that. A lot of these concepts and story idea I feel really deserve another chance.

So I wanna make this list of stuff I wanna see return in either for stories in the Mainline Games or the IDW Sonic comics. Before we start, I do wanna add somethings. This post isn't meant to be shitting on IDW and being like "IDW would be better if they did this". I really love the IDW comics and universe. I also know that some of these concepts likely can't be done due SEGA Mandates and I'm not gonna include stuff like "Bring back the Freedom Fighters" because I feel asking to bring back characters isn't gonna be very productive, as much as I would like to see their return. Anyways, let's begin.

The Fate of the ARK

One thing that really inspired this list was this scene right her. We'll talk more about Silver's Future later but for now, let's focus on the ARK. I'm gonna assume anyone reading this knows the story of the ARK from SA2 and Shadow. Sadly, the ARK hasn't really been revisited in the main canon since Shadow, despite how iconic of a set piece it is. In the Archie Comics, we get a look at Silver's future and one of things that may have been the cause of how bad things are is the ARK crashed. Sadly, Archie got rebooted before the writers could go more into it but, from SA2, we know that the ARK was set to crash into the planet if all 7 Chaos Emeralds are placed into it, wiping out all life on the planet. This could be an excellent premise of another Silver adventure, whether it be in the comics or games, where Sonic, Silver and some friends have to stop someone from making the ARK crash into the planet.

Expanding the Eggman Empire/Egg Bosses

Something I've always found a bit lacking in the game canon is how the Eggman Empire itself has been presented. In the games, the Eggman Empire is usually just made up of Eggman, Metal Sonic, Orbot, Cubot, a bunch of robots and (recently) Infinite. It's not really an Empire if it's just one guy and a bunch of robots. The main goal is the conquer the world but we hardly see Eggman actually see what happens when Eggman conquers a place, like what happens to the people who used to live there, besides like Colours and Forces, where the Wisps and Mobians are usually just seen being imprisoned. The Egg Bosses are the perfect solution to this and adds so much to Sonic's World.

The Egg Bosses are Mobians who, either willingly or unwillingly, aligned themselves up with Eggman for whatever reason, becoming commanders of the Eggman Empire. This usually comes about when Eggman has taken over a part of the region and the people living in that region have no choice but to join the Eggman Empire, for their own safety. Not only does this make the Eggman Empire feel more than just one person but it also makes Eggman more a villain himself. It able to portray Eggman as someone to be feared and, I mean, this is a dictator and genocider who is pretty much declaring war against the world.

It also brings up some interesting thoughts about the world. Characters like Maw, Thunderbolt and even Nephthys to a degree joined up with Eggman because they felt it was the right thing to do for the sake of the world, or in Nephthys case, to stop things getting worst later on, meanwhile characters like Grand Battle Kukku are plotting to usurp Eggman, with Clove and Beauregard only working for Eggman to protect family or close ones.

As I said before, having these Egg Bosses also makes Eggman look more threaten, both because he's able to look like a "bigger bad" next to these villains he has command of and, because almost all the Egg Bosses hate Eggman's guts, they are cyberized, a terrifying process in which those who work for Eggman are focus to have parts of their body replaced with cybernetics, with either bombs which will blow if they decide to leave or a locking mechanism that will paralyze their entire body, ready to be locked up.

If either in the game or the IDW comic, I would like to see the Egg Boss concept return. It doesn't even need to be the same characters or use the name "Egg Boss." It would help expand the army of the Eggman Empire, as well as provide some fun bosses for the games I think.

Mobians and Humans living together

This was always a weird hangup I felt the series had. In the case of games between Sonic Adventure & Unleashed, Sonic and friends were the only Mobians, humans made up the NPCs while Mobians were reserved for main characters. Then in Forces and IDW, Mobians made up the background characters, so then Eggman is the only human. I really prefer it when they have the two living together, it makes it seems more normal and, honestly, a better solution than the whole "Two Worlds" explanation.

Eggman Seemingly Defeated

Can I just that I love Issues 198-200? In these 3 issues, Sonic and friends Eggman's main base, the Egg Dome. This including fighting on the outside of the base, involving fighting hoards of the Dark Egg Legion soldiers and Eggman in the Egg Phoenix. After dealing with the outside, Sonic and friends raid the Egg Dome itself, taking different directions, with the Dark Egg Legion seemingly retreating, until they reach the center of the base, where they are blocked off by a barricade, which only Sonic can pass through, giving a "Point of No Return" vibe, Dark Egg Legion soldiers lining up and saluting Sonic. Then Sonic reaches the center and finds Eggman in the Egg Tarantula, starting their final battle which Sonic wins. This defeat is enough for Eggman to lose his sanity, seemingly ending the war Sonic and the Freedom Fighters have been fighting their entire life.

Of course Eggman returns but, god, it's just such a memorable couple of issues. There's a real sense of finality to it. I would a sequence like this in the games, something that feels like truly ending the Eggman Empire and defeating them once and for all. Of course, it wouldn't be the end, Sonic games are always needing to be made which would lead to...

The New Rulers of the Eggman Empire

In the comics after the defeat of Eggman, the Eggman Empire is taken over by some of it's Commanders, the Iron Queen and Iron King, who rules the Empire as their own until they are defeated and Eggman's return.

I love the idea that even if the Eggman, there will always be someone there to take his place. The games could do this by having Neo Metal or Infinite take his place. Hell, IDW did have Neo Metal take over but I think what made that less interesting was that Neo Metal wasn't doing it for himself, he was doing it for Eggman. I think this would work well if a concept like the Egg Boss was introduced in the games, maybe have one of the characters part of that group take over OR have a lot of the more ambitious Egg Bosses war against each other to take command, until eventually Eggman returns and puts them in line.

Silver's Future

Silver is one of the most recurring characters, who always joins the gang when his future is in trouble. The problem is that we never see his future besides 06. We have no idea what Silver's future is currently until it's in danger and, even then, we never see it.

We see Silver's Future in both continuities of the Archie Comic, with two different takes. Pre-SGW has a destroyed city vibe, like 06 but less lava. Post-SGW brought a whole new take where people are ruled by a corrupt council where people are put into class groups, and security robots will arrest if you are not at your job at the right time. They even re-contextualize Silver's bracelets as cuffs that the robots can activate. With Silver being my favourite character as a kid, I remember being obsessed with this new world and story, wanting to know more.

I'm not saying they would need to copy this world exactly but it would be nice if they gave us a concrete and consistence look for Silver's Future.

The Heroic Metal Sonic

Right before the SGW, we were introduce to Shard the Metal Sonic. His story is that he was the original Metal Sonic, the one that raced Sonic in Stardust Speedway. He appeared later in the comic, where Sonic made him realized there was more to life than just being Eggman's killing machine. He seemingly died, but was rebuilt to serve as a member the Secret Freedom Fighters.

This one would be tricky to be included. It worked in the Archie comic as they had been many Metal Sonics throughout the series, each one getting destroyed. Meanwhile, there's only officially been one Metal Sonic in the games made by Eggman (two if we count Classic and Modern). Admittedly, Gemerl fits Shard's personality and does need to be used more in the games but having it be Metal Sonic is just a cooler concept.

I think a solution to this is that we have Metal Sonic 1.0 made by Eggman and, in Rivals 2, we have Metal Sonic 3.0 by Eggman Nega from the future. But what about Metal Sonic 2.0? I think we could have a game where after Metal Sonic fails, Eggman builds a replacement, being 2.0, which would give reason to Metal Sonic wanting to revolt, which could lead to a redemption? While I am loving the IDW comics, I do really miss a lot of what both Archie continuities offered. I haven't mention the some other concepts and stories I liked that really focused on certain characters such as Naugus, Geoffrey St. John, Dimitri etc. Maybe I'll talk about that another day...

[astoryinred]

"Trese" and the truth in the fiction

In short: why the actual monsters in Trese don't have horns, wings, or summoning rituals

Finally the Netflix anime adaptation of the Filipino graphic novel/comics series "Trese" has dropped. It is available in several languages such as English, Filipino, Japanese, Spanish...just to name a few. It is not a perfect work, both in technical terms as well as an adaptation of the source material, but it is worth a watch. Go watch it. Please.

That being said, there is so much to unpack about the series, and I do not mean in terms of the voice-acting and the ethnicities of the persons involved, or just how crunched together the writing is. I will leave that to the critics. What I am writing here is a view as to the real life truths woven into the horror/supernatural threads of the "Trese" episodes, and why these are important. It's because for a lot of people encountering "Trese" at this point, the actual every day monsters of the tale (or at least of the first 4 episodes) are even more distant than the aswangs, tikbalangs, nunos and other supernatural beings that populate the anime.

This will go into spoilers below the cut

Episode 1: The series opens with a train stopping right near the "Guadalupe Station", and some of its passengers being attacked by aswang as they walk along the railroad tracks. During the course of investigating this and another case (that of a ghost murdered on Balete Drive), Alexandra Trese learns that other spirits using this train line have recently perished in a fire or have also been murdered by aswang in league with a politician.

The squatter/informal settler community mentioned in this episode is based on a real one. That area has gone up in flames from accidental and not so accidental fires over the past few decades. Some of the settlers have moved on, but a good many have stubbornly stuck around despite the land being eyed by a large property developer. That area is a symptom of the inequality that plagues that particular part of the metropolis, since it is only less than a mile away from some of the country's swankiest gated subdivisions. While the powers that be are (probably) not involved in selling anyone for meat, they still have a long way to go to address the woes of that community when it is not election season.

As for the other murder in the episode? There have been several cases of women associated with or married to prominent politicians who have died in mysterious circumstances, with some of these deaths ruled as suicide. In many cases, the truth has been hushed up, or simply swept under the rug.

Episode 2: While Alexandra is pursuing the trail of a tikbalang running wild in the city, she also is called to investigate a mysterious series of electrocutions in a gated village. Along the way she discovers that this is a form of human sacrifice to the bagyons manning the electricity providers of the city.

As reprehensible as the bagyons are, what is truly sickening is the seeming indifference of the people in Livewell Village. It's mentioned more in the comics (but also given a line or two of exposition here by the Nuno) that the people regularly offer an outsider, usually a skilled worker in charge of maintenance, to ensure that the bagyon will bless them. In real life there is the callousness that some people exhibit towards essential workers such as yes, repairmen and electricians who have to endure heights and storms just to ensure the "comfort" of consumers. Although the Philippines isn't a country crawling with litiginous folk and "Karens", there are enough of this sort to make essential workers' lives miserable on a daily basis.

Episode 3: This is a difficult one, both in the comics and the anime. One of Trese's cases leads her to cross paths with an actress named Nova, who is later revealed to have had her child left to die (hence making her a target for a specific type of monster). Nova's story is admittedly not easy to deal with and may be considered incredulous, but there are two important contexts to remember when watching it.

The first is that abortion is still illegal throughout the Philippines. It cannot be legally offered by any clinic or medical practitioner. There are clandestine alternatives available, but at a steep price.

That being said, most Filipinos regardless of where they stand on the abortion issue will still consider the abandonment or murder of an infant to be beyond the pale. Yet this does happen. Every month one can expect to read a story or two of babies being tossed in the trash or left in bathrooms---and those are just the stories that make it to the press. There have been exposes about mothers who have sold off their infants to "adopters" willing to pay thousands of pesos or dollars for an under the table transfer of custody. These happen because of desperation, poverty, and lack of resources to support mothers. Maternity leave is only up to 120 days here in most cases, and there are few resources to support mothers with PPD, mothers abandoned by their partners, or those with just too many mouths to feed. Questions of "bodily autonomy" are not first and foremost in the mind of many women who do the worst to their newborns; the question is food on the table for the next day or the day after. Survival is key. Not independence or empowerment.

With these in mind, it is not surprising that Nova is considered one of the most disturbing and reprehensible characters in this episode. From what we see, her choice of abandoning her child stems from vanity and pursuit of a glamorous career. We can see that this is not because she would be out on the streets if she had a child to care for, or because she was escaping something. It's just portrayed as pure selfishness.

It is interesting that Nova is introduced here almost as a juxtaposition to another mother, Ramona. Ramona, the mother of Crispin and Basilio, is an armed insurgent who engages in a ritual to avenge herself on the military men who forced her to murder her own comrades. It is also implied earlier in the season that it was not just murder involved, but that Ramona had also been a "prize" given to the soldiers who captured her. And yes in this context, it can also mean rape. The Armed Forces of the Philippines does not have a shining record when it comes to its treatment of women dissidents and prisoners. This backstory does not justify what Ramona does for the remainder of her screentime, but it does show why she has absolutely no sympathy or mercy to give to anyone outside of her two children. She is part of a cycle of killing that makes any peaceful resolution of the insurgency in the Philippines so difficult to achieve. Both sides behave abominably, and civillians do get caught in the crossfire (or explosions).

Episode 4: Much of this episode revolves around the events in and surrounding a certain police station located near a large public cemetery. We see that the police chief Captain Guerrero has his hands full with cases and keeping his subordinates in line. The cops in the precinct range from the innocent apparent newcomer Tapia to the more stereotypical "asshole" cops Reyes and company. Later it is discovered that the bodies apparently "stolen" from the graves are resurrected zombies who are being directed to attack the station for a specific reason...and it has to do with how the police run their often bloody operations.

The real life neighborhoods surrounding the cemetery have seen their share of violence and "extra judicial killings". In some houses there are still candles and placards calling for justice for family members killed in raids or accused of having been drug suspects (almost a death sentence in the Philippines 2016 onwards). Eyewitnesses and CCTV footage show members of the police force taking part in these raids and clandestine operations. The worst part? The neighborhoods surrounding that particular cemetery haven't even seen the worst of it. Other disadvantaged communities in the north of the metropolis have seen even more deaths of this sort...with some of the deaths being those of children. Google the name of Kian delos Santos as a test case. Kian's case was one of the few to have extended media coverage, and even then the resolution has been rather wanting.

It is tempting to go into the "all cops are bastards" line of thought with this episode, but I do like how Captain Guerrero is forced to interact with someone who he is trying to save in the station, since as it turns out this person has recently lost a family member to this form of senseless murder. Captain Guerrero and the audience are led to remember that these victims have names. They had families. They had lives. They are more than body counts and statistics. That scene is one of the most humanizing of the series, and shows that while not all cops are bastards, there is enough rot in the institution to make it a problem.

Episodes 5-6: I would go more into Episodes 5 and 6, but those deserve a whole new treatment into the nature of truth, compromise, and even gaslighting (even I am not sure how much of a certain character's narrative is true, and how much is just meant to confuse Alexandra with regard to what she knows of her father). The context she does face before those harrowing revelations is a very real one though: things going wrong in a penitentiary.

The penal system of the Philippines is alarmingly punitive and full of inequities. Privileged inmates like politicians do receive special treatment (including media coverage and becoming leaders of factions) while less privileged inmates languish and must struggle to survive the brutal social hiearchy in some institutions. And yes it has happened that inmates have been sent out to do "jobs" of murder and arson in the outside world, often being snuck in and out. A movie that tackles this aspect better is "OTJ (On the Job)" directed by Erik Matti. That one will keep you up at night.

The ending of Episode 6 is rather ambiguous, and it remains to be seen what Alexandra really experienced during her trials prior to becoming a detective, and what her father really did to her and her sibling. We'll have to wait for another season to get to the bottom of that. But if the anime will continue to draw from the comics themselves for stories/case files, we can count on seeing more societal demons and baddies alongside the supernatural ones. And those are the villains that Alexandra Trese cannot just readily beat; it will take a heck lot more than a babaylan na mandirigma to handle those!

[thesunwillshineonusagain757]

𝕽𝖍𝖆𝖊𝖑𝖞𝖆+ 𝖋𝖎𝖈 𝖗𝖊𝖈

𝔇𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔫 𝔱𝔬 𝔡𝔦𝔢 - by Blue_Crow757

The sexy and glamorous world of Formula 1 is mainly driven by the rivalry between drivers Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen. They had very different characteristics: while Stark is methodical and brilliant, Targaryen adopted a more stripped-down style, typical of a bad boy. The dispute between the two reached its peak in 1976 when both took several risks in the cockpit so that they could become the Formula 1 world champion.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 16221 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 4/4 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍: Explicit

━━━━━━━━ ❈ ━━━━━━━━

𝔉𝔬𝔯 𝔜𝔬𝔲 - by toaquiprashippar

Rhaegar and Lyanna meet again after years of a painful heartbreak. None could ever forget the other, and honestly none have even tried.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 15283 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 5/7 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍: Explicit

━━━━━━━━ ❈ ━━━━━━━━

𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔰𝔢 𝔳𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔡𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔰 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔳𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔢𝔱 𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔰 - by ryswell

genderswap au

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 3546 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 7/7 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍: General Audiences

━━━━━━━━ ❈ ━━━━━━━━

𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔔𝔲𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔬𝔣 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔅𝔢𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔶 - by acrownofwinterroses

At the tournament at Harrenhal, Lyanna Stark locks eyes with Prince Rhaegar, and is crowned the Queen of Love and Beauty, something that she thinks may have more meaning than he lets on.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 1462 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 1/1 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍: Not Rated

━━━━━━━━ ❈ ━━━━━━━━

𝔒𝔣 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔤𝔬𝔫𝔰, ℜ𝔬𝔰𝔢𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔞 𝔖𝔢𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔡-ℌ𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔐𝔞𝔱𝔠𝔥 - by joely_jo

'He remembered how, a few short weeks before, he had told Lyanna how love could grow from the tiniest seeds. But what he hadn’t told her was that sometimes it was bigger than that, and bolder, and sometimes it made a person do dangerous things…'

A story of Robert's Rebellion, where love lives and dies and lives again. Told from the perspectives of Lyanna and Ned Stark.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 110504 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 38/38 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍: Mature

━━━━━━━━ ❈ ━━━━━━━━

ℌ𝔢𝔩𝔩 ℑ𝔰 𝔈𝔪𝔭𝔱𝔶 - by ashotofjac

Still unmarried and unbetrothed, Prince Rhaegar Targaryen is urged to find a bride at the tourney at Harrenhal. With King Aerys growing more unhinged as each day passes, the Dragon Prince must secure his line in order to overthrow the Mad King.

Lyanna Stark is chosen to wed the prince, much to her displeasure, and must leave the North to play princess with the dragons. But she quickly learns that the fire burns deadly in the royal family, and winter has no place in King's Landing.

Hell, she finds, is empty and all the devils are at Court.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 198920 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 75/75 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍: Mature

━━━━━━━━ ❈ ━━━━━━━━

𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔗𝔞𝔩𝔢 𝔬𝔣 ℜ𝔥𝔞𝔢𝔤𝔞𝔯 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔏𝔶𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔞 - by KohakuWol

This story is told heavily from the point of view of Rhaegar Targaryen and will span from the Tourney at Harrenhal to the conclusion of Robert's Rebellion. This is my take on the fateful tale of Rhaegar and Lyanna. The first chapter serves mostly as an introduction, the subsequent chapters will be longer. All characters are property of George R. R. Martin. As always, reviews are much loved and appreciated!

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 8k+ 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 5/5 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍: Teen

━━━━━━━━ ❈ ━━━━━━━━

𝔄𝔪𝔦𝔡𝔰𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔄𝔰𝔥𝔢𝔰 - by crossfirehurricane

Lyanna Stark decides against taking flight from her marriage, and begrudgingly marries Robert Baratheon. Within the year, she becomes a widow at the young age of seventeen, with half the realm believing she had a hand in it. Now free from the bonds of marriage, and her place at Storm's End, Lyanna returns to Winterfell with no intention of remarrying.

Rhaegar Targaryen is widowed when Elia Martell dies in childbed, attempting to give her husband his third child. The child, a girl, is lost alongside her mother. The prophecy and the realm demands that he remarry, calling for a flurry of young maidens to vie for his attentions, and one who is unsure if she desired his attention at all.

Yet this pair had almost known intimacy before. Whether they shall know it again, only the Gods can say.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 32979 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 14/14 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍: Mature

━━━━━━━━ ❈ ━━━━━━━━

𝔫𝔢𝔢𝔡 𝔞𝔫 𝔢𝔫𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔰𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔨 𝔱𝔬 𝔦𝔤𝔫𝔦𝔱𝔢 𝔪𝔶 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔱 - by vivacissimo

“I’d have introduced myself, but I get the sense you know who I am,” Lyanna flirts, and the man’s indigo eyes dance, “this is my party, after all.”

“Oh I’m certainly aware,” he cocks his head like something is outrageously funny, “I’m the one throwing it for you.”

Or, Formula 1 prodigy Lyanna Stark won't settle for anything less than a world championship. A serendipitous encounter with a stranger who turns out to be anything but reminds her that fortune favors the bold.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 10430 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 1/1 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍: Mature

━━━━━━━━ ❈ ━━━━━━━━

𝔖𝔦𝔫𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔒𝔲𝔯 𝔉𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔰 - by lorelei_4

Tourney at Harrenhal never happened. To the great delight of her father, Lyanna marries Robert Baratheon. Life goes on as usual until, driven by his growing madness, King Aerys summons Lord Rickard Stark to King's Landing. The Warden of the North is accused of high treason and executed, after that the Mad King demands to send him the heads of all the Starks. The Northerners rise in rebellion with the support of the Vale, stormlands and riverlands, after months of war and Aerys' untimely death it eventually brings both opposing sides to the banks of the river Trident.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 9151 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 1/1 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍: Explicit

━━━━━━━━ ❈ ━━━━━━━━

𝔴𝔢 𝔰𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔞 𝔤𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔠𝔢 - by Pepel_in_Kri

If you asked most people to rank top 10 most boring things, law school would be up there in the top 5. Lyanna Stark respectfully thinks that's utter bullshit - she’s been to law school and it doesn’t even slightly compare to the mind-numbing activity of wedding dress shopping with one Catelyn Tully.

or: Lyanna Stark is a successful law graduate attending her brother's wedding when a series of unpredictable events strike her love life.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 7165 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 1/1 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍: Teen

━━━━━━━━ ❈ ━━━━━━━━

"ℑ 𝔚𝔞𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔒𝔩𝔡𝔢𝔰𝔱" - by Valaena Rhaegarovna (ZeeTaoHime)

Rhaenys remembers her siblings, and how it was to grow with them.

| Part of The Last Dragons Net's Golden Age AU |

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 5369 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 2/? 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍: Teen

━━━━━━━━ ❈ ━━━━━━━━

ℑ𝔣 𝔗𝔥𝔢𝔶 𝔒𝔫𝔩𝔶 𝔎𝔫𝔢𝔴 - by Cheeseydare

Rhaegar and Lyanna share a quiet morning at Summerhall.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 3285 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 1/1 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍: Explicit

━━━━━━━━ ❈ ━━━━━━━━

𝔒𝔫 𝔅𝔩𝔲𝔢 𝔚𝔞𝔳𝔢𝔰 - by nvt_brightfyre

Lyanna Stark has always wanted to sail the seas, instead she gets a marriage proposal and is kidnapped by the worst pirate she has ever seen. Rhaegar Targaryen is trying to evade his father's wrath, but he sails into a storm and a raid. Arthur Dayne just wants to protect his friend and perhaps do a little matchmaking.

OR Lyanna escapes Robert's proposal with Captain Jack Sparrow and accidentally steals something important from the Crown Prince.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 6005 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 3/12 𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍: Mature

━━━━━━━━ ❈ ━━━━━━━━

Part .1

[just-here-for-the-moment]

Paloma, Part II

Series Masterlist - Part I - Part II

Word count: 8900+

Rating: explicit, 18+ only

Outline: Statesman!Frankie "Catfish" Morales, Agent Jack “Whiskey” Daniels, and "You" (OC cis/het female reader, Statesman research analyst, code name “Paloma”; age 26; reader is “blank canvas”/no physical description/no use of “Y/N”)

Warnings: “plot bloat” (trying to get Paloma where she needs to go); fully legal age gap; curse words; alcohol; Whiskey acting like a bastard; a little sprinkling of angst; open-mouth kissing; protected P/V sex; some extra-soft!Frankie

On your third Monday at Statesman New York you led a planning meeting that should have been easy. Jack Daniels made it anything but.

The worst part was that you hadn't even been properly introduced yet. Where Champ had rolled out the red carpet for you at Louisville HQ, Whiskey was a phantom, too busy to meet with you during your first couple of weeks. That made what happened in the meeting even more humiliating.

You started by outlining the research that your team had gathered, the analysis that they had carefully done, and presented the options and outcomes. When you were done, Whiskey threw his copy of your report down on the table and said, "That's horseshit."

You felt your face heat with embarrassment, but you tried to hold your ground. "Excuse me?"

Jack waved his fingers dismissively, "That's alright, I'll excuse you. This isn't the kind of work I expected from our new 'hotshot' team lead. Why isn't there information about the facilities we'll be targeting?"

"There are no 'facilities' at this location, Agent. It's a one-and-done for a drop and extract. There's nothing to raid, nothing to seize, and nothing to see."

"Really?" He arched one eyebrow at you and rubbed his thumb over his lower lip. The sheer cockiness of it made you burn with irritation. "So how come the information we got last Friday tells us that there's a production facility the next block over? You really gonna send our agents halfway around the world without botherin' to target the facility next door?"

You froze. Was he correct? That didn't seem possible. How had your team missed that? You held his gaze with as much assertiveness as you could muster, trying to match his attitude so that you wouldn't appear to be weak. "I don't have information about any facilities."

He cracked a smirk, "Well then, you're not very good at your job, are you darlin'?"

You swallowed hard and tried not to let tears rise. How dare he talk down to you? What the hell was his problem? Another agent spoke up, saying that if new information had come in recently, then you could review it and reconvene later to discuss its impact. The meeting disbanded.

You felt like you had been sucker-punched, and you weren't sure if you wanted to flee to your office, or sit gripping the edge of the table and glare Whiskey down. You opted to stay, waiting for everyone else to file out. Finally it was just you and Whiskey left, sitting at the big conference table and having some kind of a stubborn staring contest. This was not how you wanted to start your new job.

"What the fuck is your problem with me?" You gritted the question out and held his gaze. You knew that cursing at a senior agent, not to mention the one who was the face of Statesman Whiskey and de facto head of the New York office, probably wasn't the wisest way to start your tenure... but neither was backing down and letting him roll right over you.

"Nothin' personal, darlin', but I can't let you give my agents incorrect or missing information. Your team should have known about the facilities at this location."

"It sure felt personal, Agent Whiskey. If you have a problem with my work, you take it up with me privately. I don't mind admitting when I've made a mistake, but it's shitty to treat people like that in front of others." You glared at him, trying to look as fierce as you could.

He finally looked away from you, and muttered something that might have been an apology.

"What's that, Agent Whiskey? I didn't quite hear you."

"I said, 'I'm sorry.' You're right. That was unfair of me."

Before you could stop yourself, you found acid on your tongue. "Well, well, the great Agent Whiskey lowers himself to apologize. No wonder you flash that charm at everything on two legs. Your manners can't stand on their own, can they?"

If you hadn't been so focused on gathering up your paperwork, you would have seen a flicker of hurt cross his face. Instead you stomped out of the conference room and thanked the stars that you hadn't cried. By the time you got back to your office, a cold ball of regret was starting to form just below your ribs. You prided yourself on being able to work effectively with everyone, and you were extremely proud of your track record at Statesman so far. Why hadn't you been less confrontational, or tried to smooth things over? Why had you jumped straight to a pissing contest?

---

"God, what an asshole!"

"I told you, he's kind of a lot to take." Ginger's voice on the other end of the phone came through calm and sweet, as she always was.

You spun your chair to lean back and stare up at the ceiling of your office, trying to keep tears from forming. "Ugh, he's such a colossal jackass. I cannot believe he tried to undermine me like that in the meeting. I could have strangled him!"

"Just stay out of his way as much as you can. I'm sure he'll calm down once he sees what kind of work your team produces. You're doing great."

"Yeah, well... not so great actually. It turns out he was right. There was a report on a facility that came through very late on Friday, and one of my analysts went home sick, so I didn't get it in time for the meeting. That's the worst part: he was right, the bastard."

"Oh, Paloma. I'm so sorry. I'm sure that stung."

You let out a deep sigh. "I'll be okay. I just hope I get the chance to catch him making a mistake, and then I'll shove it in his stupid face. Make him lap it up with that ridiculous mustache of his."

Ginger giggled. "As much as I'd like to imagine that with you, I gotta run. Call me later? I miss you!"

"I miss you, too. 'Bye."

You hung up and spun your chair around, coming face to face with the sight of Agent Whiskey leaning in your office doorway. His arms were crossed casually, one foot propped over the other, looking like he could stand there all day. Your stomach leapt into your throat and then dropped down to your shoes. How much had he heard?

"Oh, kill me now," you breathed.

"Not just yet, darlin’. We have work to do." He popped up from his perch in the doorway and took a seat in one of your visitors chairs.

"How can I help you?" You kept your tone respectful, although it verged on frosty.

"Well, we need to revise the mission plan to include the new intelligence. Then we need to have a talk about civility."

You arched an eyebrow. "Oh, civility? I see. What kind of ‘civility’ did you have in mind, Agent Whiskey?"

"Well, for one, you can call me Jack. And for two, I was comin’ down here to apologize again, but apparently there's something you'd like to shove in my face and have me lap up with my ridiculous mustache?" He twitched one eyebrow up, looking smug and amused by the double entendre.

You closed your eyes and suppressed a groan. Maybe this was a hallucination and you were still in bed at home. Or maybe you hadn't actually left Louisville. You cracked one eyelid open, finding Whiskey’s deep brown eyes still on you. You decided to try to be the bigger person and smooth things over.

"I'm sorry. I was venting to a friend, and obviously that wasn't intended for your ears."

"Well now, I’m a big boy. I've heard worse and survived."

"I apologize. I let myself get irritated by your behavior in the meeting. It wasn't professional, and it won't happen again."

"Well, for my part, if I think you've made an error, I'll be sure to talk with you privately instead of calling you out in front of the team. Deal?" He stuck one broad, well-manicured hand out to shake.

You reached your own out somewhat reluctantly, then warmed to it, feeling how large and soft his hand was when it wrapped around your fingers. "Deal."

He gave your hand one final squeeze. An involuntary tingle ran up your arm, and you found yourself wondering whether he was as talented with his hands as he was smart with his mouth. Oh god, what was wrong with you?

You cleared your throat and pulled your hand away, trying not to jerk it back like he’d burned you.

“I’ll, um, I’ll have my team revise the mission plan to include the new intelligence, and then we’ll reconvene tomorrow. Sound good?”

“Sounds fine, darlin’.” He winked at you and you felt something flutter just below your navel.

---

Despite the conciliatory conversation with Whiskey, you still felt awkward and hurt, not to mention confused by some of the warmer feelings that had popped up uninvited. You spent the next six weeks trying to fly low and avoid Whiskey. You sent your senior analyst as your replacement for every meeting that you possibly could, and when you did have to attend them you timed your entrances and exits so that you wouldn't be in the conference room any longer than necessary. You transferred reports to Whiskey's office electronically, and when a hand-delivery was required you sent whoever happened to be closest to you. It worked great. You hadn't said more than "hello" and "goodbye" to Whiskey in so long, you were starting to feel like maybe you had escaped the awkwardness, the horrific start to your time in New York. It felt like a bad dream from another era.

One late Thursday afternoon, your plan fell apart. You got a request from Whiskey's assistant for a hard-copy file, and the entire office suite was empty. Each of your team members was off doing other things or had left early. You avoided it as long as you could, running to the ladies room to pee and then lingering in the hallway outside your office, just in case someone from your staff came back. After 10 long minutes you realized that you were "it" and that nobody was going to come save you. You sighed and trudged to the elevator. It seemed to move too quickly, depositing you at Whiskey's floor in no time flat.

As you rounded the corner you saw that Whiskey's assistant was gathering her things to leave for the day. After one too many disasters with "pretty young things," Champ had put his foot down and assigned someone to Whiskey who would keep him on the straight and narrow. Mary was what you called a "motherly hard-ass," while Ginger called her a “saint.” Mary had worked for Statesman almost as long as Champ, and she knew her stuff inside and out. Most importantly, she was completely immune to Whiskey's flirtations. He had tried once or twice to charm her, but after finding that her warm exterior concealed a brick wall of professionalism and a razor-sharp wit, he had relented.

"Hi Mary!" You kept your voice cheerful and light, trying to hide the twisting in your gut. "Here's the file he requested."

"Hi Paloma, you can go on in." Mary smiled wryly, "He actually asked to see you if you showed up. Sorry, kiddo, you're a lamb to the slaughter." She patted your back in sympathy.

Your shoulders slumped, "Ugh." Just as you were about to air your disgust in stronger words, Whiskey's door opened.

"Paloma! Glad to see you, darlin'. Come on in."

You shot Mary one last look, pleading for reprieve. She patted your shoulder and bid Whiskey a good night.

You forced your legs to move, and when you got inside Whiskey's office you perched on the edge of the sofa in the visitors area. Whiskey preferred to entertain visitors away from his desk, so he had a cozy corner of the office set up with two large chairs, a coffee table, and a black leather sofa that seemed to take up half the room.

You tossed the file on the table and spoke in a monotone that bordered on rude. "Brought you the file. Need anything else?"

Whiskey gestured to the bar cart. "Can I get you a drink, darlin'?"

"No." You shook your head. "But thank you."

Whiskey shrugged and poured himself something amber in a small glass. You couldn't take your eyes off his hands as they deftly maneuvered around the glassware and ice bucket. They reminded you a little of Frankie's hands: strong and thick, sure and precise in their movements. But where Frankie's hands were warm, work-worn and calloused, Whiskey's were primped and clean, just as manicured as his sharply tailored suits and slick mustache. You bit the inside of your lip to bring yourself back to reality before your brain could wander any farther down the path of what Whiskey's hands could do.

You focused your gaze on the file on the coffee table and waited. Whiskey settled himself into the big chair closest to your end of the couch.

"Paloma, darlin'. Thanks for coming up."

You cringed internally and tried to screw up the courage to ask him to just call you Paloma. The nickname of "darlin'" was starting to grate. For a moment you weren't sure if it was because you found it unprofessional or because you wanted to hear it more. Shit. What was wrong with you?

"What can I do for you, Agent Whiskey?"

"Please, call me Jack."

"What can I do for you?" You refused to give in, drawing your mental line in the sand. You could have a whole conversation with him without calling him Jack, couldn't you?

"Well now, I was hoping we could finally chat a bit - outside of a meeting, that is. You've been here almost two months and I'm sorry that I haven't taken the time to get to know you better." He winked.

You suppressed an eye roll and pursed your lips. "What would you like to know?"

You weren't going to make this easy for him, you decided. If he wanted information beyond your resume, or even a friendly conversation, he would have to work for it. You weren't simply going to open up like a flower under the sunshine of his charm.

"Well, I understand you're from Louisville. Beautiful place." He leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees, trying to close the space between you.

"Yes." You scooted all the way to the back of the sofa and crossed your arms, somewhat amused at the difficulty you were giving him. He hadn't expressed any displeasure yet, but you were certain that he was going to get frustrated sooner or later.

"Well, darlin' I had no idea that we were growin' them so smart down there, not to mention so pretty. If I'd known, I would have lured you up here to the big city a lot sooner." He looked like he was about to wink again, or try to devour you.

"Is that so?" God, he was really buttering you up, wasn't he? You crossed one leg over the other, keeping your arms crossed over your chest for good measure.

"Yes, it is. I was awfully impressed by your analysis on the Rex Smith case ‘bout a year ago. I had no clue there were that many shell companies in the mix. I would've thought three, maybe four, tops. But you found thirteen!"

Your jaw dropped a little at that. Not only had he seen your work on your first case as Assistant Director in Louisville, but he had reviewed the case file thoroughly, remembered such a tiny detail, and was also giving you credit? You were starting to think that you had underestimated Agent Whiskey. His charm and sass were legendary, but you now realized that those traits didn’t indicate anything missing in the brains department.

He smirked at your reaction and teased you gently. "Better watch that mouth, darlin'. You're liable to catch a few flies if you don't close it."

Goddamn him. You closed your mouth and tried not to sulk. You didn't like making mistakes, especially not such idiotic ones. If you weren't careful, he was going to knock you on your ass.

"Can I get you that drink now, darlin'?"

"No, thank you. I need to get going." You uncrossed your legs and stood up. Whiskey stood at the same time, and you found yourself entirely too close to him, your bodies just inches apart as you tried to negotiate your exit from the seating area. Something warm that smelled like cedar and smoky bourbon was emanating off of him, and you were certain it was from the expensive side of the cologne department. His coffee-brown eyes held yours, and you caught yourself staring at him while your brain sent you panicky messages to, “Move! Speak! Leave!”

Whiskey let the moment hang, seeming to enjoy every second that passed like torture for you. His eyes were twinkling so hard you thought you saw sparks. You heard yourself exhale a breath that was far more shaky than you would have preferred. He put his hand out to shake yours, and you found yourself imagining what would happen if you bypassed the polite gesture and wrapped your arms and legs around him, knocked him to the floor and kissed that stupid mustache right off his face.

Instead, you reached out to shake his hand and accidentally brushed the front of his hip, just an inch from his crotch.

"Oh my GOD! That was an accident. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry!" You scrunched your eyes closed and buried your face in your hands. Mortification consumed you as you heard Whiskey guffaw. You felt like you were going to die of embarrassment, and you were pissed off that it wasn't a real possibility. Death would have been extremely welcome.

Whiskey put his hands on your shoulders and squeezed. His laughter died down to a soft wheeze. "Hey, look at me."

You dared a glance through your fingers. His eyes twinkled and his white teeth still showed in a wide smile. "I'm sorry I laughed, I know it was an accident. You weren't trying to take advantage."

You moaned and Whiskey chuckled again. "It's alright, darlin'. You didn't break anything."

“Argh! I’m so sorry. That’s the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t think anything of it.” He pulled you gently toward him, and you did something you never imagined possible: you let him wrap you into a hug.

“I’ll forget it if you will, darlin’.” His deep voice rumbled against your body and you felt yourself melting a little. Tears of embarrassment pricked at your eyes.

You sniffed and pulled back. Whiskey let you go, but kept one hand on your elbow. He looked at you warmly and smiled. “Really, darlin’. Don’t think anything of it.”

You found yourself staring into his dark brown eyes, warm and shiny with humor. The mood shifted almost imperceptibly, turning him magnetic. Something in you snapped and you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him.

Whiskey hummed a surprised noise against your lips for a moment, then opened his mouth to let you in. His mustache was softer than it looked, and hardly tickled at all as you wrestled each other for satisfaction. You found yourself tumbling down to the couch. Whiskey lay over you with one strong arm wrapped around your lower back, keeping you pressed close against him. His lips and tongue were eager and searching, and you responded in kind, nibbling his plush lower lip and flicking your tongue across the back of his top teeth. The taste of his liquor intermingled with the scent of his cologne, and it sent your senses reeling. He tasted and smelled and felt so good, and you wanted to stay there and drink him in forever.

Your lips parted from Whiskey’s and you took a gulp of air, looking into his brown-black eyes above you. The inrush of oxygen kicked your brain into gear and you felt cold; both from the absence of Whiskey's mouth on yours and from the dose of harsh reality that washed over you. This was wrong... wasn't it? As good as it felt, it wasn't right to make out with the boss in his office, after hours, on a couch for God's sake. What the hell were you thinking?

"Oh, shit!" You shoved Whiskey's shoulders up and away, rolling him toward the back of the couch as you slithered out from underneath him. You landed on the floor, then crouched and stood up. Whiskey shifted on the sofa, turning to lay face up on the plush leather and folding his arms behind his head. His grin hovered somewhere between 'Cheshire cat' and 'kid let loose in a candy store.' You groaned at the sight while irritation and the desire to flop back down on top of him fought equally within you.

"Well now, darlin'. You need to be off somewhere?"

"Yes. This was not a good idea." You waved your hands in front of you as if you were trying to erase a blackboard. "I think I need to leave."

"Feel free to come back anytime, darlin'. I'll be right here."

You took three swift steps toward the door and then spun to face him. "I need you to stop calling me 'darlin''. My name here is Paloma."

He cocked one eyebrow at you as you continued. "And another thing, Agent Whiskey: this never happened."

Before he could respond you yanked his office door open and jogged to the elevator. What the hell was wrong with you?

---

"Ginger, you have got to help me. I don't know what's wrong with me." You shuddered out a breath as you kicked your shoes off and sat down at your kitchen table. At your elbow was the biggest drink you could pour without causing a hangover.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

You gulped. "I kissed him."

"What?! Why?"

"I don't know! I just... I was in his office and he was standing really close to me and then I went to go shake his hand but I accidentally touched his crotch and..." you trailed off as Ginger laughed. "It's not funny, it's embarrassing!"

She giggled at you. "That sounds kind of funny. You'll laugh about it later."

"I won't. I wanted to die of embarrassment, but then he was so nice about it and he was looking at me softly and I just- I kissed him! What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Try not to worry too much. You're not the first lady to make that mistake and you won't be the last. He'll forget about you as soon as someone else catches his eye.”

"Yeah, I know." You weren't sure if being one in a long string of women made you feel better or worse.

"… although it does seem like you have a ‘type’ now.”

“What?!”

“Well he is tall, dark, and handsome. If he weren’t such a jackass I’d say he reminds me of Frankie.”

“Oh, hell no. That is not a fair comparison. They’re nothing alike.”

“You’re right, Frankie was a gem. Listen, just avoid Whiskey and keep your eyes on your work. He'll forget about you and it'll be like it never happened. And as irritating as he is, I know he's not a gossip. Don't worry, this won't get around."

You threw back your head and let out a long breath. "Okay. You're right. All I have to do is my job."

"That's right. And you're really good at your job, Pal. Don't let this derail you, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Gin. I appreciate it."

"No problem. Listen, I have to go, but I wanted to tell you that I’ll be coming to New York next week. I have to do some training with, uh, a consultant. And when I’m done we can have a girl’s dinner out, okay? Just try to have a good weekend."

"Thanks, I will. You too."

You sighed and finished your drink. The idea of calling in sick tomorrow floated up, and you seriously considered it. But you had already spent six weeks avoiding Whiskey, and your integrity wouldn’t let you call out without a good reason. You could make it one day until the weekend, right?

---

You awoke Friday morning with a pounding headache and a cotton-dry mouth. You were dreading going to work, but duty called. You showered and dressed as slow as you dared, and found yourself dragging into the office only 15 minutes late. Fortunately, there was enough work to keep you distracted, and at your 10:00 department heads meeting you found out that Whiskey was out of the office for the day. Relief washed over you, and you suddenly felt lighter. You could survive until the weekend without worrying.

The rest of your day was uneventful until around 4:00, when an assistant brought you a vase of fresh flowers that had been delivered to reception. You frowned and looked for a card. The arrangement was beautiful, featuring dark yellow daisy-shaped flowers with fuzzy chocolate brown centers, and pinky-purple blooms shaped like bottle brushes. Both types looked oddly familiar. You leaned closer to examine them as your brain twisted in confusion. Were those...? No way... orange coneflowers and dense blazing stars? Who the heck would send you an arrangement of Kentucky wildflowers? Mom? It wasn't your birthday yet.

You felt an icy ball of lead punch you in the stomach as you opened the notecard: "Even though nothing happened, I had a hell of a time. Hope to see you again. -Jack"

That motherfucker.

Just as you were about to sweep the flowers into the trash, there was a heavy knock on your doorway. You looked up, and your emotions spun from anger to elation so fast you almost threw up. Frankie stood in your doorway, looking soft and rumpled in a plaid flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up, his sweet curls escaping the same well-loved baseball cap he always wore.

"Frankie!?" You leapt out of your chair and practically ran to him. He swept you up in a bear hug and pulled you six inches off the ground. "Oh my God, Frankie, I'm so glad to see you!"

"Hey, Paloma. I missed you. How's the big promotion? They make you head of the New York office yet?" His deep voice rumbled into your ear softly, and you laughed with joy. You never wanted to let go.

Frankie set you down and broke the embrace, and you immediately grabbed his hand and guided him to one of your visitors chairs. You took a seat in the chair next to him, turning it to face him and get as close as you dared without looking too desperate.

"Oh my gosh, what are you doing here?"

"I'm doing a quick consulting job for Statesman, helping Ginger train a few folks for an extraction. I have to work on the project Monday and Tuesday, and then I'll be in town until Saturday as a tourist. I took the whole week off, so I don't need to be back in Florida until next Sunday." He smiled broadly at you.

You felt your own face split into a wide grin. "Do you need a tour guide? I've been here two whole months. I can show you my favorite coffee shop and we could go to a few museums."

He smiled warmly back at you, and you felt like you had been wrapped in the world's softest blanket. "I'd like that. Statesman gave me an apartment for the week. Should be close by, if you don't mind showing me where it is?" He pulled a slip of paper out of his wallet and read the address.

You threw your head back and cackled.

"What's so funny?"

"That's my apartment! Statesman owns a few units in the same building." You grabbed the piece of paper from his hand to read the apartment number. "You're literally one floor below me for the week."

He grinned. "Well, shit. If I'd known that, I would’ve just told them to let me bunk with you."

You frowned and handed the paper back. "Wouldn't your girlfriend be upset with that?"

Frankie looked down at his shoes. "She's, uh, not my girlfriend anymore. We broke up."

"Oh, Catfish. I'm so sorry." You reached out to squeeze his forearm, and the feel of his warm skin over ropey muscles made you tingle. You vividly remembered how much you used to love grabbing those forearms as he pounded into you, how good they felt wrapped around you in the shower, how strong and safe Frankie felt at all times. You pulled your hand back and cleared your throat.

Frankie stood. "Listen, I gotta take care of a few things this afternoon, but can we go to dinner later? Nothing fancy, if you know anyplace I can go dressed like this," he gestured to his worn jeans and work boots.

"Unless, uh,” he pointed to the flowers on your desk. “Is there a boyfriend who would be mad if I took you out?"

You stood and smiled, biting your lip. "No. There’s no boyfriend, and I'd love to go to dinner. I'll come down to your apartment and pick you up at 7:00? 7:30?"

"Seven is perfect." He hugged you, and the smell of him spun you right back to Louisville. Frankie smelled like clean cotton and hard work, with a faint whiff of mechanic's grease just under the scent of his laundry soap and Old Spice deodorant. You used to tease Frankie about his habit of buying the same deodorant that he’d been using since junior high, but he always swatted you away with a, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Now the scent of it made you want to buy every package in the world and always have the smell around you.

When you broke the embrace it was so hard to let go, to not lean in for a kiss like you used to. He seemed to feel it, too, lingering just a moment longer with his arms wrapped around you and smiling wistfully as you finally pulled apart. You wanted to stay in his arms for hours, maybe even stow away on his flight back to Florida.

“I’ll see you at seven, Paloma.”

You felt your goofy grin reappear. “Okay. I’m so glad you’re here, Catfish.”

---

The hours until dinner crawled, and you spent more time than you thought wise trying to get ready. You showered and put on your nicest outfit, which was really just the all-black, most-recently-purchased version of your normal work clothes. Your job at Statesman didn’t call for anything very dressy, so you hadn’t expanded your wardrobe beyond work staples. Still, you spent entirely too long arranging your hair, sweeping it one way and then the other, trying to figure out what jewelry to wear, and then changing your hair again for the third time. You were contemplating another shoe change when your phone alarm went off, warning you that it was five minutes to 7:00. Oh, well, too late to change anything now. You brushed your teeth frantically and hoped Frankie wouldn’t care.

You floated down the stairwell and found yourself grinning idiotically as you rapped at Frankie’s door. He opened it looking exactly the same as he had at 4:00 that afternoon, and you chastised yourself internally for trying to dress up. Your irritation turned to pride, however, when Frankie looked you up and down with a low whistle.

“Jeez, Paloma, you look fantastic. Should I change?” He looked worried.

“No, you look fine! We’re not going anywhere fancy, I promise. I don’t know why I changed clothes, it was silly.”

“No, you look amazing.” He opened his arms for a hug. You felt warmth rush to your face as you leaned in. Frankie was always so eager to please and to compliment you, to make you feel good. You had missed him so much.

The walk to dinner was easy, conversation bouncing between the two of you as you made your way to the restaurant. Frankie filled you in on everything going on in Florida, about his friends and his parents and his job. You spoke enthusiastically about your new position and how much you loved New York. You decided not to share information about either one of your run-ins with Agent Whiskey.

Dinner passed in a swirl of giggles and wine and good food. Frankie made you laugh so hard you almost choked twice, and before you knew it, nearly three hours had passed.

“Frankie, I think the restaurant is going to kick us out if we don’t scoot soon. Do you want to go walk around a little bit?”

He drained his water glass and nodded. “Yeah, where to?”

“We can window shop down the street, and there’s a cute little park nearby.” You arched one eyebrow at him, “Wanna go play on the swings?”

He laughed and nodded. “Yes, let’s do that.”

You fought Frankie for the bill before letting him win. “Okay, but the next one is on me, Catfish.”

When you emerged into the summer night, you both took a deep breath, trying to clear your heads of the alcohol haze. You weren’t drunk, just pleasantly buzzed and a little silly. Without thinking, you tucked your arm into Frankie’s and snuggled yourself against him as you wandered along. Store windows were lit up against the dark, and you stopped here and there to look and giggle at displays.

You paused in front of an antique store. The window behind the bars was lined in red velvet, and on each of the little red display pillows sat a piece of vintage jewelry.

You were quietly gazing at an enamel bracelet and a sparkly tiara when Frankie’s voice broke the silence.

“You ever want one of those?”

“A tiara? No. I mean, it might be fun for a hot bubble bath, but I can’t exactly wear it to work.”

“No,” he nudged your arm and tilted his chin toward the far left side of the store window. “An engagement ring.”

You froze and suddenly couldn’t breathe. Your eyes shifted to a sparkly, square-cut sapphire ring sitting on the smallest pillow. You couldn’t form rational thoughts, and you weren’t sure exactly what kind of answer Frankie was expecting.

“I mean- uh, I guess I never thought about it. I haven’t seen anyone since we-” you swallowed hard. “I’ve been single since we broke up.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, and when he didn’t respond right away you found yourself filling the silence with nervous chatter. “I mean, I tried dating but it never went past a second date, and I don’t know anyone who would propose that early, and anyway I just- I mean I didn’t think- and you left so I didn’t…” you trailed off, realizing that you weren’t making any sense.

Frankie’s voice was low and serious. “I thought about it.”

That broke the spell and you turned to face him. “You thought about it? About me?”

He looked at you, almost shy. “Yeah, I thought about it a couple of months after we started dating. But with your job and my work, and… Well, you know what happened. You were there, same as I was.” He reached out a hand to cup your chin. “I was sorry it didn’t work out for us.”

You sighed and melted into him, “Oh, Frankie.”

He wrapped both arms around your shoulders as you gripped his waist. Your mouths found each other in the dark as if your last kiss had been yesterday. Frankie was warm and solid and familiar, and you found yourself aching to hang on to him, to keep him there with you for as long as you could.

You stood on the sidewalk together for what seemed like hours, exploring each other and passing silent messages back and forth with your lips and tongues and teeth. Slow swirls of the tip of his tongue around yours told you he missed you, and the tiny nips you bit against his bottom lip conveyed an urgency, a need that you couldn't express in words. You found your fingers entwined in his belt loops, pulling him as close as you could, mimicking the kind of connection that really required nakedness and absolute vulnerability together.

You turned sideways to loop your arm around his waist and walk unsteadily back to your apartment building, stealing kisses again and again as you strolled, then paused, then continued on your way. The trip took twice as long as it should have, but neither you nor Frankie was willing to break apart for longer than it took to step down off a curb or glance at a walk signal. You just kept kissing, drunk on each other and wanting more and more; silently cursing the fact that the apartment was still so far away, but reveling in the moments that you could seize right now to embrace each other as you walked.

When you reached your block, you murmured against Frankie’s mouth. “Do you have anything? I don’t have any protection at home.”

He cursed softly, “Shit. No, I didn’t bring…” He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as you kissed him again.

“Don’t worry, that’s why I asked. There’s a drugstore right here.”

“I always knew-” he kissed you softly, “... that you were smarter than me.”

You giggled against his mouth and wrapped your arms around his neck. “You’re the one who can fly helicopters. I just stare at data reports all day.”

You walked into the pharmacy holding hands and made it through the checkout line in record time, urgently kissing again when you reached the sidewalk, navigating the final dozen or so yards to your building.

The elevator ride consisted of one long kiss, broken only by Frankie’s urgent, “Mine or yours?” You murmured, “Mine,” and pressed the button for your floor, folding yourself back into his arms. You unlocked your front door while Frankie held you from behind and peppered kisses down your ear and cheek and jaw, distracting you as you fumbled with your keys. When you finally got the door open, you tumbled inside together and slammed the door shut.

Now that you were someplace private, you could undress, fumbling against one another as you struggled to open buttons and zippers and bra clasps in between kisses; to continue your soft caresses while you kicked shoes and pants off and away. Finally you were both standing, wearing only underwear while you continued to embrace. You pulled away from Frankie and picked up the box of condoms where it had dropped, then you took his hand and led him to your bedroom.

You tumbled onto the bed together and continued the makeout session that had started miles away and what seemed like an eternity ago in front of the antique store window. Frankie’s strokes along your ribcage and thighs were light and almost ticklish, so familiar that you wanted to cry. You had no expectations of getting back together and attempting a long-distance relationship, but he was here right now. And that was good, right? It was familiar and lovely and sweet.

Frankie hadn’t changed a bit since you parted 10 months ago, except for a few more grays in his beard and one or two more crinkles when he smiled. You ached and ached for him, even though he was right on top of you, kissing you and touching you and murmuring your name. Your brain kept raising the idea of what would happen in a week when he had to leave, or what might have happened a year ago if Statesman hadn’t demanded so much from both of you. The knowledge that you had missed becoming Frankie’s wife because of shitty circumstances, combined with the threat of losing him again in just a few days time punched you in the throat, and a sob escaped your lips as tears sprang to your eyes.

“What’s wrong, babe? Did I hurt you?” Frankie looked you over, rolling to one side to examine your face with a worried scowl. He propped himself up on one elbow and hovered over you.

“No, I’m just-” You sniffed back another sob. “I just wasn’t expecting to see you, and I’m so glad you’re here. It’s just a lot, that’s all.”

He brushed a tear from your cheek. “We don’t have to do this right now; not if you don’t want to. I didn’t come here with the expectation that you would jump back into bed with me.”

Your heart leapt at that. Same old sweet Frankie, doing everything he could to treat you tenderly, to care for you. You knew that if you tried to explain everything you were feeling, he would probably take it personally. Frankie hated to see you hurting, and doubly so if he thought he was the one who had caused it.

“I might just need a minute. I’m okay, I promise. It’s just been a weird week.”

You decided to joke, to lighten the mood and try to ease Frankie’s worry. “My old boyfriend is back in town, and I just found out that I missed out on him being my husband, and I also kind of kissed my boss yesterday, so I’m not in a real ‘steady’ place right now.”

Frankie frowned at that. “You kissed Bill?”

“Oh, no! No, not my boss-boss.” You paused, unsure of whether or not Frankie would hate you for your next words. “I kissed Agent Whiskey.”

Frankie’s eyebrows nearly leapt off his forehead, but he didn’t sit up or let go of you. He didn’t run out of the room screaming. “Is there something I should know?”

“It was a mistake. I was in his office and I accidentally touched his crotch-” Frankie’s eyebrows raised another impossible inch as you continued, “Truly an accident, a horrible, embarrassing accident. And then I think I just felt really vulnerable and lonely and I kissed him.”

Frankie nodded. “It happens, I guess.” He looked at you tenderly. “Although I’ve never kissed my boss. He always has food in his beard.” You erupted in giggles and tucked your face against Frankie’s chest. He stroked your arm and shoulder, laughing against your hair.

Your giggles subsided, and you rolled away from Frankie, laying on your stomach and folding your arms under your chin. You sighed and turned your face to him. “I am glad you’re here, though. I really missed you.” You paused, trying to formulate your next words.

“It took me a long time to get over you, and I’m honestly not sure I ever did. If we hadn’t both had so much work and conflicting schedules, if things had been different-” Frankie leaned over and cut you off with a soft kiss.

“You don’t have to tell me how things could have been different.” He stroked your temple. “After we broke up I just couldn’t handle working around you. I didn’t hate you, I just had to leave. It hurt too much to stay.”

“I’m sorry, Frankie.”

“No, don’t apologize. It wasn’t you, it wasn’t me, it was just life.” Frankie leaned over and kissed your cheek, stroking your back with feather-light touches, raising goosebumps as silence settled over the both of you.

His touch felt amazing, conjuring electricity where his fingers met your skin. Tingles started to form in your pelvis and you found your breath shuddering in time with Frankie’s caresses. You sat up and moved to straddle him, entwining your fingers with his and pinning his hands to the bed next to his ears.

Neither one of you spoke as you rolled your hips gently on his and stole kiss after kiss, feeling his erection grow and press harder against your vulva, still separated by the fabric of both your underwear and his. Finally you broke your grip on his hands and Frankie reached up to cup your breasts. You arched your back to press yourself into his palms, and your nipples stiffened with the friction and the heat of his touch. You grabbed the backs of his hands and pressed them harder against you, as if you could multiply the sensations that were zipping through your body.

You leaned down for another kiss and then swung your leg off and over him. You stood next to the bed and pulled your panties off, then reached over Frankie to grip his waistband. He lifted his hips to assist you, and when his cock sprung free you nearly gasped at how much you missed him and missed this, the intimacy and the raw electricity and the closeness. You reached out to stroke his length a few times, running the pad of your thumb gently up the underside and over his slit. He was damp there, but not leaking yet, and you let go only to grab the box of condoms and rip it open.

“Here,” you handed him a foil packet and let him put it on. When he was covered you gripped him again and gave him three firm, slow pumps, pulling a moan out of the deepest part of his chest. You straddled him again and hovered over him, making eye contact as you lined up to insert him, taking him into the most intimate part of you. He stroked one large hand from your knee to your ass, then cupped both cheeks and pulled you slightly apart to help guide him in. You closed your eyes and let out a soft hiss as he entered. Everything felt so good and familiar, like no time had passed at all, like he had never left.

When you were fully seated on him, you placed your palms on his shoulders for leverage, watching with delight as the tendons in his neck flexed and his Adam’s apple bobbed, veins throbbing on either side of his beautiful throat as you rode him. He reached one hand down to thumb your clit, pressing and petting it and drawing whimpers from you as the pleasure swelled within you. Neither one of you spoke as you gazed into each other, moving together in a practiced rhythm, increasing the pace and the tempo and the force until you were shaking the whole bed. Then your head spun and you found yourself crying out his name as you climaxed around him. You slumped over him and buried your face in his neck, that gorgeous soft crook between his throat and his shoulder. He braced his feet and thrust up into you. Chills wracked your body as you squeezed and fluttered around his cock. He grunted and clenched his jaw, “I’m coming.” And then he pulled you closer and froze, holding you there as he filled the condom. When he relaxed his thighs and arms, you reached down and gripped the base of the condom to keep it on him as you rolled sideways and off.

You both lay staring at the ceiling, recovering your breath, trying to remember where you were and why anything outside of your shared pleasure mattered.

---

Frankie stayed at your apartment all weekend. The two of you kissed and caressed, showered and fucked, made breakfasts and dinners, watched movies and slept curled together, until you almost forgot how much you had missed each other, almost forgot the fact that he would have to leave.

On Monday you and Frankie walked to the office together and kissed at the front desk, parting ways for the day. You ran into Ginger in the hallway and squealed and gave her a hug. She smiled at you and wiggled her eyebrows. “Did you see who our consultant is for this project?”

“Yes! He came by my office on Friday and we went to dinner.” You leaned over to lower your voice and murmur, “And we spent all weekend together.”

Ginger laughed and you grinned and rolled your eyes. “It’s nice. I don’t know if we’re ‘back together’ or anything, but I’ll have fun hanging out with him while he’s here.”

Ginger bit her lip, “I’m glad. I know you guys really missed each other, but I’m happy you can see him while he’s here.”

“Me, too.”

You and Ginger made plans to have lunch together that afternoon, and your mood was light as you entered your office. It dampened a bit when you saw the flowers from Whiskey that were still sitting there. And it dropped further when you saw a note from one of your staff saying that Whiskey had requested that you come see him when you arrived this morning. You decided that you would just have to treat him like nothing had happened, and keep your head up. After all, you were on cloud nine with Frankie in town, so what’s the worst that could happen?

You found Mary’s desk empty, so you squared your shoulders and knocked on Whiskey’s door. He could try to irritate you all he wanted, but you were going to be cool as a cucumber.

When he opened the door, Whiskey grinned at you and motioned you in. You opted to stand next to his desk with your arms crossed. If this was business, you would keep it businesslike. He walked up to you and raised an eyebrow, still grinning like a fool.

You looked at him and frowned. What was his deal?

He started the conversation cryptically, “Well?”

“Well what?”

“Did you get my flowers?”

You opted for the driest tone you could, “Yes. Thank you.”

He nodded, “Good. Listen, darlin’-”

You interrupted him. “Paloma.”

“Right, Paloma. I’d love to take you out to dinner sometime and apologize again for behaving like a jackass in that meeting a few weeks back.” He placed both of his large, warm hands on your arms and squeezed. “If we could see our way clear to some kind of understanding, I think I’d like it very much if we could-” a knock on his door cut him off.

Mary opened it and stuck her head in. “Agent Whiskey? I have the consultant here for your 9:00 meeting.”

Whiskey hissed out a breath and sounded disappointed. “Right.”

You pounced on the opportunity to escape. “I’ll just get going.”

Mary opened the door all the way and Frankie walked halfway in, freezing at the sight of you and Whiskey standing so close together. Guilt creeped up, even though you had no reason to feel that way, and you fought the urge to apologize to Frankie.

You and Agent Whiskey spoke at the same time, words jumbling together as Frankie approached to shake hands with Whiskey.

“Hi, Agent Whiskey. You can call me Ja-”

“Frankie, hi. I was just-”

“Oh, do you two already know-”

“We used to-”

You found yourself standing next to them as they shook hands and sized each other up. Your own discomfort was so strong that you almost didn’t notice that they were jostling each other as if they were fighting for dominance. A strange energy settled over the three of you as they stared at each other. If you didn’t know any better, you would have said it felt like they were fighting over you.

“Whiskey, this is Frankie Morales. He and I used to work-” Frankie cut you off, something he normally would never do, and his next words mortified you.

“Paloma and I used to date when we worked together in Louisville.”

You groaned. You weren’t embarrassed that you had dated Frankie, but the less information Whiskey had about your personal life, the better.

“Is that so? Well, I didn’t know that.” Whiskey’s voice was as smooth as the leather on his couch, and he cocked an eyebrow at you. Instead of irritating you, it had the effect of sending a flutter to your crotch. You gulped, hard.

Whiskey turned back to Frankie. “Any big plans while you’re here in New York?”

“Paloma and I are going out.”

“We’re what?” Your voice was louder than you had meant it to be and both men turned to look at you. You felt stunned by the double gaze, the two pairs of dark brown eyes, the strong noses and lovely mouths; features so similar to one another now that you saw them together. Maybe Ginger was right, maybe you did have a “type.”

Your brain did a somersault, throwing up the most shocking and simultaneously wonderful idea, and you wished you could banish the thought back to whatever delicious hellhole it had sprung from. You almost burst into tears, thinking that the stress of your job had finally broken your brain. Under normal circumstances, the idea and all of its implications would have been curious, but under the current circumstances it was absolutely ridiculous. The absurd, impossible word had popped into your head entirely uninvited: “Threesome.”

Frankie and Whiskey stared at you for three long, agonizing seconds, then they both spoke the same word at the same time.

“WHAT?”

“Oh, shit. Did I say that out loud?” ---

"Paloma" Series Masterlist Just-here-for-the-moment’s masterlist

Tag list: (Please message me if you're on here and don't want to be!)

@honeymandos @driedgreentomatoes @silverwolf319 @mourningbirds1 @honestly-shite @anaaaispunk @greeneyedblondie44 @spacedilf @maxwell–lord @nicolethered @dihra-vesa @the-queen-of-fools @juletheghoul @anxiousandboujee

[simply-brightly-zee]

Folks let me talk about Crowley and sunglasses, because I have a lot of emotions about when he wears them and when he doesn’t, and Hiding versus Being Seen.

We’re introduced to the concept of Crowley wearing glasses even before we’re introduced to Crowley, by Hastur: “If you ask me he’s been up here too long. Gone native. Enjoying himself too much. Wearing sunglasses even when he doesn’t need them.”

Honestly Crowley’s whole introduction is a fantastic; we learn so much about his character in a tiny amount of time. The fact that he’s late, the Queen playing as the Bentley approaches, the “Hi, guys” in response to Hastur and Ligur’s “Hail Satan”. I like this intro much better than the one originally scripted with the rats at the phone company, but I digress.

Crowley wears sunglasses when he doesn’t need them. Specifically, he still wears them around the demons, and when he’s in hell.

You know where Crowley doesn’t wear glasses? At home.

We never once see him wearing glasses in his flat, except for when he knows Hastur and Ligur are coming. That’s an emotional kick to the gut for me. Here’s one of the only places Crowley’s comfortable enough to be sans glasses, and when he knows it’s going to be invaded he prepares not just physically with the holy water, but by putting up that emotional barrier in a place where he wasn’t supposed to need it.

An argument could be made that Crowley actually never needs glasses. We’re shown that it’s well within the angels’ and demons’ powers to pass unnoticed by humans. Crowley and Aziraphale waltz out of the manor in the middle of a police raid, and going unnoticed by the police takes so little effort that they can keep up a conversation while they stroll through. Even an unimaginative demon like Hastur apparently doesn’t have trouble with the humans losing it over his demonic eyes. The humans in the scene at Megiddo are acting like “this guy is a little weird” and not “holy shit his entire eyeballs are black jelly”

That means that Crowley’s glasses are a choice, just like Aziraphale’s softness. Sure, he could arrange matters so that nobody ever noticed his eyes, but he doesn’t want to. Crowley wants acceptance, and he wants to belong, and he’s never, ever had that. He didn’t fit in before the Fall in Heaven, he doesn’t fit in with the demons in Hell. With the glasses, and with the Bentley and his plants and with the barely-bad-enough-to-be-evil nuisance temptations, he’s choosing Earth. This is where he wants to fit in, perhaps not with the humans, but amongst them.

Even after Crowley is at his absolute lowest, when he thinks Aziraphale’s dead and he’s on his way to drink until the world ends, he takes the time to put a new pair on when the old ones are damaged. He needs that emotional crutch right now, even with everything about to turn into a pile of puddling goo he’s not ready for the world to see his eyes.

Which is why I swore out loud when Hastur forcibly takes them off.

It’s about the worst thing that Hastur could have done. Rather than leading with a physical threat, his first act is to strip away Crowley’s emotional defences. It’s a great writing choice because god it made me hate Hastur, even more than all the physical violence we see him do.

It’s also the moment that Crowley really truly gets his shit together, and focuses all of his considerable imagination on getting to Tadfield and Aziraphale to help save the world. He’s wielding the terrifyingly unimaginable power of someone who’s hit rock bottom and realised it literally could not get any worse than this. He doesn’t put another pair of glasses on after discorporating Hastur, and he spends the majority of the airbase sequence without them.

He puts them back on again, I think, at the moment that he really lets himself hope. When he thinks ‘shit, there may be a real chance that we get through this to a future that I don’t want to lose’.

The vulnerability is back, and he needs Adam to trust him. In Crowley’s mind being accepted by a human means he needs to have his eyes hidden. Someone give the demon a hug, please.

Interestingly, there’s only one time in the whole series that we see Crowley willingly choose to take his glasses off around another person. Only one person he’ll take down that barrier for, and even then he’s drunk before he does it.

Dear God/Satan/Someone that makes my heart ache. Crowley’s chosen Earth, but he’s also chosen Aziraphale. He’s been looking for somewhere to belong his entire existence, and it’s with the angel that he finally feels it.

When the dust settles and the world is saved and they finally have space to be themselves unguarded, I like to imagine Crowley takes off the glasses when it’s just the two of them; the idea of being known doesn’t scare him quite so much anymore.  

[tomeandflickcorner]

Episode Review- The Real Ghostbusters: Apocalypse- What, Now?

Interesting premise, but unfortunately it got dragged down by too many unnecessary jokes.

This episode begins with a prologue scene, with a moment from the distant past.  You can tell it’s the distant past because the scene is presented with a dull yellow tint to it.  The scene apparently takes place in the year 1684, but we’re not told that until later on. Bandits are in the process of breaking into the Monastery of Saint Theophilus, which we’ll eventually learn is located on a mountain in Greece.  Now, granted my knowledge of world history is limited, but while I have heard of monasteries being raided by Vikings from the 790s through the 11th century, this event is taking place during the 17th century, long after the Viking Age came to an end.  (Not to mention the fact that I actually did a little research and there doesn’t seem to be historical evidence to suggest the Vikings ever invaded Greece.) So that presents the question of who exactly these bandits are, and why they chose to attack this monastery.  In any event, the abbot of the monastery opens up an ornate looking box and removes an old book that he refers to as The Codex of Saint Theophilus.  The Abbot refers to this book as the monastery’s greatest treasure, and announces that it must never fall into the hands of non-believers.  The Abbot entrusts The Codex to a monk who was with him, reminding him that the wax seal holding The Codex shut must never be broken. The monk entrusted with The Codex’s safety then attempts to escape from the besieged monastery by climbing out the window and down a rope.  But the rope was apparently not long enough for the Monk to reach the ground safely, and we hear him screaming as he falls from the mountain.  So, did this monk just die off-screen? If so, it can probably be concluded there weren’t many survivors of the monastery’s siege.  I imagine there was a lot of bloodshed that day, as I expect the bandits would probably have killed anyone they came across during the invasion of the monastery.

We then flash forward to the present day.  Ray and Peter are attending a rare book auction somewhere because Ray heard that one of the books that will be auctioned off is a copy of Benz & Frank’s The Ectoplasmic Gourmet.  And the nerd in me is wondering what this book is even about.  Based on the title, it sounds like a cookbook.  So is it a cookbook listing recipes made exclusively for ghosts, or are we going into To Serve Man territory here?  Anyway, before the Auctioneer gets to the book Ray is after, he presents the next book on the list.  Which, as you might expect, is The Codex of Saint Theophilus.  No idea how they managed to recover it in the first place, but I guess it doesn’t really matter.  The Auctioneer begins the bidding on The Codex, but because the dust that the auctioneer blew off the cover ended up going into Peter’s nose, Peter ends up sneezing at the worst possible moment and therefore accidently buys the book for $1,000.  Which seems a bit contrived, particularly since you’d think the Auctioneer would have dusted the book off before the auction even begin. Or at least have not blown the dust off in the direction of the people attending the auction.  

So Peter ends up with The Codex.  While they do approach the Auctioneer afterwards, they’re told that all sales are final.  But they are welcome to come to the next auction so they can sell The Codex again there. Until then, though, they’re stuck with the Codex.  Peter and Ray then return to the Firehouse where Egon is attempting to build something he calls an Ectoplasmic Disintegrator.  Which strikes me as quite disturbing.  If it does what it says on the tin, it means this new invention will disintegrate a ghost. Isn’t that the same as destroying a ghost?  I think there should be some ethical consideration here.  Though the Ectoplasmic Disintegrator does blow up pretty quickly, so hopefully Egon will take that as some sort of cosmic sign that he shouldn’t dabble in such a thing. When Peter and Ray return, Ray informs the others that they hadn’t been able to obtain a copy of The Ectoplasmic Gourmet because of Peter’s poorly timed sneeze.  The surreal thing about this is that Ray’s tone suggests he’s annoyed, but he has a large smile on his face.

When Ray heads off to sulk, I guess, Winston brings attention to the wax seal on The Codex. Though only Janine seems to understand the significance of having a seal, as she’d learned about them in high school. Winston and Peter seemed to think someone had just accidently dripped candle wax onto the book’s cover.  But as Janine begins to explain about wax seals, Peter cuts her off and tells her to answer the phone. Janine points out that the phone isn’t ringing, but seconds later, it does start to ring.  (Though someone in the sound editing department didn’t do a good job at syncing things up, as Janine reacts to the phone ringing before we actually hear it ring.)

The phone call turns out to be a person complaining about a ghost haunting their chimney, so the Ghostbusters suit up and head out.  After they leave, Janine decides to take her lunch break.  But she can’t locate the book she’d planned to read while eating her lunch, so she decides to read The Codex instead.  Strangely, Janine ends up heading out to what I think was supposed to be Central Park. Okay, I can understand why you might want to eat your lunch outside if the weather is nice, but how far is Central Park from the Firehouse?  Is it right around the corner, or would Janine have had to take the subway down there? How long of a lunch break is Janine planning to take?  Anyway, Janine takes a seat beneath what I think is supposed to be a statue of some Civil War generals. (Not sure if this statue was based on an actual statue in New York, but I guess that’s not important.)  After taking a bite of her sandwich, Janine manages to break open the wax seal on The Codex. Immediately, lightning flashes across the sky, but Janine barely blinks and simply pulls out an umbrella she just happened to have with her. She starts to read The Codex and seems to not find it engaging, but she still doesn’t notice the statues behind her transforming into four ghostly horsemen until they jump down and rush past her.  Even then, Janine doesn’t seem to have much of a reaction, simply deciding that maybe she should skip lunch.

Sometime later, the Ghostbusters are returning to the Firehouse. It seems their last call was a false alarm and the sounds coming from the chimney were caused by a stuck cat.  (At least they got the kitty out.)  Before they arrive back at the Firehouse, though, frogs start raining down from the sky.  Which is highly unusual weather.  They then catch sight of the Four Horsemen.  The Ghostbusters get out to try and shoot the Four Horsemen with their Proton Packs, but the Four Horsemen escape into a nearby department store.   So the Ghostbusters head in after them.  After a while, they do manage to capture the Four Horsemen in a Ghost Trap after the ghosts get stuck in the revolving door.  Of course, the episode hasn’t quite hit the halfway point yet, so of course things aren’t resolved that quickly.  As the Ghostbusters start to drive off again, the Four Horsemen manage to break out of the Ghost Trap and fly off, blowing out the Ecto-1’s windows in the process.  And causing the car to crash headlong into a fire hydrant.

The Ghostbusters limp the Ecto-1 back to the Firehouse, where we see Janine has returned and is struggling to answer the number of phone calls they’re getting.  She tells the Ghostbusters that they’ve been receiving calls from people all over the world. It’s even implied the U.S. President phoned them. Winston turns on the news, which announces that the Four Horsemen are causing disturbances at the Nation’s capitals.  (Also, we see a brief commercial ad for Stay-Puft Marshmallows, which did make me laugh.)  At that moment, they hear the front doorbell ringing.  Winston goes to see who it is, and a bearded man in a long black robe enters. The man introduces himself as Father Yanos.  He explains that he came from the Monastery of Saint Theophilus and goes on to say that a thousand years ago, Saint Theophilus managed to seal the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse inside The Codex.  The monks of the monastery had kept the book safe for seven centuries before The Codex was lost.  Father Yanos had traveled to the city when he’d learned The Codex had been located, but laments that he hadn’t arrived in time before the wax seal had been broken, which resulted in the Four Horsemen getting released.

Okay, question. How did Father Yanos track down The Codex to the Ghostbusters?  I guess it’s possible he found out that The Codex was being sold at that rare book auction and, upon arriving too late, got the information of who bought The Codex from the Auctioneer.  But considering The Monastery of Saint Theophilus is located in Greece, I find this highly unlikely.  What are the odds that he’d hear about a rare book auction being held on the other side of the world?

It turns out the only hope they have in stopping the Four Horsemen is by re-sealing them with the Seal of Theophilus.  Which is back at the monastery in Greece.  (And Peter makes a dumb comment about how the seal must be very slippery if it’s kept in grease.)  So the Ghostbusters and Father Yanos book a flight back to Greece with Balkan Airlines, which was an actual airline carrier at the time.  I get the feeling the show writers didn’t have the best opinion of Balkan Airlines, because Winston seems to be very uneasy about being on the plane.  And it’s not as if Winston has a fear of flying.  Not only has he shown no issues with being on a plane in past episodes, I distinctly remember it being mentioned in the sequel series, Extreme Ghostbusters, that Winston eventually becomes a licensed pilot.  And in the IDW comics, which I believe take place in the movieverse, Winston had enlisted in the U.S. Air Force before joining the Ghostbusters.  So I don’t think we’re supposed to think Winston’s aviophobic.  Either way, when they arrive at Athens International Airport, Winston begins joining Father Yanos in kissing the ground. I’m guessing this is a religious or cultural thing with Father Yanos, as he mentions it’s the ground of his homeland, but Winston is simply happy to be back on solid ground.  At first, Peter teases Winston, but when the wing of the plane they’d just gotten off falls off (because the Four Horsemen attacked the plane while it was in midflight), Peter also starts kissing the ground.  Yeah, this whole scene was really weird.  Did Balkan Airlines planes have a reputation for being poorly crafted or something?  Were the writers just mocking the airline because it was owned by the Bulgarian government?  I have no idea.

Of course, they still have a ways to go before they can reach the monastery.  Because after leaving the airport, they have to take a train to some remote village near the monastery.  And then they have to ride some donkeys up the mountain pass.  And the whole time, the Four Horsemen are apparently following them. And I’m wondering how they have the time to make such a time-consuming trip, considering the apocalypse is supposed to be upon them.  The Ghostbusters even comment on how dark the sky is during the train ride.  Finally, the Ghostbusters and Father Yanos reach a large woven basket-shaped lift. Father Yanos explains that, ever since the raid we saw in the prologue, this lift has been the only way to reach the monastery.  

As the Ghostbusters board the basket-like lift and ascend up to the top of the mountain, the Four Horsemen appear and end up severing the rope, causing the lift to fall and crash.  Right atop Father Yanos.  Miraculously, none of the Ghostbusters broke any bones, and Father Yanos didn’t die from having four full-grown men landing on him.  But now the Ghostbusters have to climb up the side of the mountain to reach the monastery.  All while dodging falling rocks and strong winds. Peter ends up losing his grip when a bolt of lightning nearly hits him, and he falls.  But he once again narrowly avoids death because he lands safely on a rocky ledge.  Peter decides to stay put while the other Ghostbusters continue climbing.  (And we get an animation error in which we see Egon and two Rays reaching the monastery.)  Upon reaching the monastery, Egon, Ray and Winston instruct two monks to fetch them the Seal of Theophilus and some wax.  The two monks hurry inside to retrieve the items as the Four Horsemen are seem approaching.  Egon announces his plan to trap the Four Horsemen within a Ghost Trap as they fly overhead.  Then all they have to do is seal the trap with the Seal of Theophilus.  

The Four Horsemen are once again successfully trapped in a Ghost Trap, but when the two monks return with the Seal and a block of wax, the monk carrying the Seal trips, and the Seal falls over the edge of the mountain. Fortunately, Peter (who is still standing around on the rocky ledge) catches the Seal, but apparently doesn’t think he can manage to throw the Seal back up to the other Ghostbusters.  With time running out, the Ghostbusters decide to toss the loaded Ghost Trap down to Peter so he can seal away the Four Horsemen. So Winston throws down the Ghost Trap and wax down to Peter, but the wax falls onto Peter’s face.  (The wax is apparently soft enough to splatter over Peter’s face.  Granted I’m not that familiar with wax seals, but don’t you have to melt sealing wax to get it that soft?  If so, that wax should probably be scalding hot.)   Fortunately, Peter is still able to get the wax onto the loaded Ghost Trap by tripping and happening to fall face first onto the trap.  But he still has to place the Seal onto the wax, and the loaded Ghost Trap is starting to smoke.  And here, we get one more unnecessary joke with Egon urging Peter to make the seal impression, and Peter responding by imitating a seal. (Oh, knock it off!)

Thankfully, Peter is able to quit acting like an idiot long enough to press the Seal upon the wax.  As a result, the Four Horsemen are once again sealed away.  Right away, the dark clouds overhead dissipate and the sun begins shining through.  If that wasn’t enough to indicate everything is now okay, grass and flowers instantly form atop the mountain, and a flock of doves appear.  Even though Peter doesn’t seem to appreciate having the doves flock around him.

As you can tell, I had quite a few issues with this episode. There was the fact that they didn’t seem to accurately acknowledge the passage of time, considering Janine’s lunch breaks are long enough for her to be able to head over to Central Park. Not to mention they have the time to travel to a remote location of Greece when the end of the world is fast approaching.  (You’d think Father Yanos would have brought the Seal of Theophilus with him in case The Codex got opened before he could get there.  Wouldn’t that have been smarter?)  And Peter’s jokes were more annoying than funny.  Yeah, Peter can be a bit of a smart-aleck at times.  But even he knows when it’s time to be serious. At least that was always my overall impression of him.  So what was he doing here?  He felt almost out of character in this.

(Click here for more Ghostbusters reviews)

[brookstonalmanac]

Events 3.4

AD 51 – Nero, later to become Roman emperor, is given the title princeps iuventutis (head of the youth). 306 – Martyrdom of Saint Adrian of Nicomedia. 852 – Croatian Knez Trpimir I issues a statute, a document with the first known written mention of the Croats name in Croatian sources. 938 – Translation of the relics of martyr Wenceslaus I, Duke of Bohemia, Prince of the Czechs. 1152 – Frederick I Barbarossa is elected King of Germany. 1238 – The Battle of the Sit River is fought in the northern part of the present-day Yaroslavl Oblast of Russia between the Mongol hordes of Batu Khan and the Russians under Yuri II of Vladimir-Suzdal during the Mongol invasion of Rus'. 1351 – Ramathibodi becomes King of Siam. 1386 – Władysław II Jagiełło (Jogaila) is crowned King of Poland. 1461 – Wars of the Roses in England: Lancastrian King Henry VI is deposed by his House of York cousin, who then becomes King Edward IV. 1493 – Explorer Christopher Columbus arrives back in Lisbon, Portugal, aboard his ship Niña from his voyage to what are now The Bahamas and other islands in the Caribbean. 1519 – Hernán Cortés arrives in Mexico in search of the Aztec civilization and its wealth. 1628 – The Massachusetts Bay Colony is granted a Royal charter. 1665 – English King Charles II declares war on the Netherlands marking the start of the Second Anglo-Dutch War. 1675 – John Flamsteed is appointed the first Astronomer Royal of England. 1681 – Charles II grants a land charter to William Penn for the area that will later become Pennsylvania. 1776 – American Revolutionary War: The Continental Army fortifies Dorchester Heights with cannon, leading the British troops to abandon the Siege of Boston. 1789 – In New York City, the first Congress of the United States meets, putting the United States Constitution into effect. 1790 – France is divided into 83 départements, cutting across the former provinces in an attempt to dislodge regional loyalties based on ownership of land by the nobility. 1791 – The Constitutional Act of 1791 is introduced by the British House of Commons in London which envisages the separation of Canada into Lower Canada (Quebec) and Upper Canada (Ontario). 1791 – Vermont is admitted to the United States as the fourteenth state. 1794 – The 11th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution is passed by the U.S. Congress. 1797 – John Adams is inaugurated as the 2nd President of the United States of America, becoming the first President to begin his presidency on March 4. 1804 – Castle Hill Rebellion: Irish convicts rebel against British colonial authority in the Colony of New South Wales. 1813 – Cyril VI of Constantinople is elected Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople. 1814 – Americans defeat British forces at the Battle of Longwoods between London, Ontario and Thamesville, near present-day Wardsville, Ontario. 1837 – The city of Chicago is incorporated. 1848 – Carlo Alberto di Savoia signs the Statuto Albertino that will later represent the first constitution of the Regno d'Italia. 1849 – President-elect of the United States Zachary Taylor and Vice President-elect Millard Fillmore did not take their respective oaths of office (they did so the following day), leading to the erroneous theory that outgoing President pro tempore of the United States Senate David Rice Atchison had assumed the role of acting president for one day. 1861 – The first national flag of the Confederate States of America (the "Stars and Bars") is adopted. 1865 – The third and final national flag of the Confederate States of America is adopted by the Confederate Congress. 1882 – Britain's first electric trams run in east London. 1890 – The longest bridge in Great Britain, the Forth Bridge in Scotland, measuring 8,094 feet (2,467 m) long, is opened by the Duke of Rothesay, later King Edward VII. 1899 – Cyclone Mahina sweeps in north of Cooktown, Queensland, with a 12 metres (39 ft) wave that reaches up to 5 kilometres (3.1 mi) inland, killing over 300. 1908 – The Collinwood school fire, Collinwood near Cleveland, Ohio, kills 174 people. 1909 – U.S. President William Taft used what became known as a Saxbe fix, a mechanism to avoid the restriction of the U.S. Constitution's Ineligibility Clause, to appoint Philander C. Knox as U.S. Secretary of State. 1913 – First Balkan War: The Greek army engages the Turks at Bizani, resulting in victory two days later. 1913 – The United States Department of Labor is formed. 1917 – Jeannette Rankin of Montana becomes the first female member of the United States House of Representatives. 1933 – Franklin D. Roosevelt becomes the 32nd President of the United States. He was the last president to be inaugurated on March 4. 1933 – Frances Perkins becomes United States Secretary of Labor, the first female member of the United States Cabinet. 1933 – The Parliament of Austria is suspended because of a quibble over procedure – Chancellor Engelbert Dollfuss initiates an authoritarian rule by decree. 1941 – World War II: The United Kingdom launches Operation Claymore on the Lofoten Islands; the first large scale British Commando raid. 1943 – World War II: The Battle of the Bismarck Sea in the south-west Pacific comes to an end. 1943 – World War II: The Battle of Fardykambos, one of the first major battles between the Greek Resistance and the occupying Royal Italian Army, begins. It ends on 6 March with the surrender of an entire Italian battalion and the liberation of the town of Grevena. 1944 – World War II: After the success of Big Week, the USAAF begins a daylight bombing campaign of Berlin. 1957 – The S&P 500 stock market index is introduced, replacing the S&P 90. 1960 – The French freighter La Coubre explodes in Havana, Cuba, killing 100. 1962 – A Caledonian Airways Douglas DC-7 crashes shortly after takeoff from Cameroon, killing 111 – the worst crash of a DC-7. 1966 – A Canadian Pacific Air Lines DC-8-43 explodes on landing at Tokyo International Airport, killing 64 people. 1966 – In an interview in the London Evening Standard, The Beatles' John Lennon declares that the band is "more popular than Jesus now". 1970 – French submarine Eurydice explodes underwater, resulting in the loss of the entire 57-man crew. 1976 – The Northern Ireland Constitutional Convention is formally dissolved in Northern Ireland resulting in direct rule of Northern Ireland from London by the British parliament. 1977 – The 1977 Vrancea earthquake in eastern and southern Europe kills more than 1,500, mostly in Bucharest, Romania. 1980 – Nationalist leader Robert Mugabe wins a sweeping election victory to become Zimbabwe's first black prime minister. 1985 – The Food and Drug Administration approves a blood test for HIV infection, used since then for screening all blood donations in the United States. 1986 – The Soviet Vega 1 begins returning images of Halley's Comet and the first images of its nucleus. 1996 – A derailed train in Weyauwega, Wisconsin (USA) causes the emergency evacuation of 2,300 people for 16 days. 1998 – Gay rights: Oncale v. Sundowner Offshore Services, Inc.: The Supreme Court of the United States rules that federal laws banning on-the-job sexual harassment also apply when both parties are the same sex. 1999 – Mizan Zainal Abidin of Terengganu is crowned as Sultan of Terengganu (Malaysia) 2001 – BBC bombing: A massive car bomb explodes in front of the BBC Television Centre in London, seriously injuring one person; the attack was attributed to the Real IRA. 2002 – Afghanistan: Seven American Special Operations Forces soldiers and 200 Al-Qaeda Fighters are killed as American forces attempt to infiltrate the Shah-i-Kot Valley on a low-flying helicopter reconnaissance mission. 2009 – The International Criminal Court (ICC) issues an arrest warrant for Sudanese President Omar Hassan al-Bashir for war crimes and crimes against humanity in Darfur. Al-Bashir is the first sitting head of state to be indicted by the ICC since its establishment in 2002. 2012 – A series of explosions is reported at a munitions dump in Brazzaville, the capital of the Republic of the Congo, killing at least 250 people. 2015 – At least 34 miners die in a suspected gas explosion at the Zasyadko coal mine in the rebel-held Donetsk region of Ukraine. 2018 – Former MI6 spy Sergei Skripal and his daughter are poisoned with a Novichok nerve agent in Salisbury, England, causing a diplomatic uproar that results in mass-expulsions of diplomats from all countries involved. 2020 – Former Daredevil Nik Wallenda is the first person to walk over the Masaya Volcano in Nicaragua. 2021 – According to some QAnon supporters, former US President Donald Trump will be inaugurated, putting guards at the capitol on high alert, out of fear of another attack on the US capitol.

[inkedsoldier]

Chew the Bullet - Chapter One

A Modern Warfare series

Casey Vos is a liaison officer for the Dutch Special Forces. She has been stationed in Afghanistan and Syria, but now works everywhere they need her assistance. Specialized in counterterrorism and intelligence, she is unmistakably a great asset for the upcoming Taskforce 1-4-1, under the command of Captain John Price. 

A/N: Here it is – the official chapter one of Chew the Bullet. I’m going to slowly introduce all the characters while (sort of) following the storyline of the gaming series, starting with the most recent campaign of Modern Warfare (2019). English is not my first language, but I’m getting better at it. Please, if you see any errors, let me know so I can fix it. It’s much appreciated. Well, I hope you enjoy! And please leave a note, vote or message with your thoughts! Bravo team out.

Warnings: guns.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

____________

War is not just a three letter word. It is something worse. Something that can obliterate everything. War tears humans apart, even those who were once so close. Victims of war are over and over drowned in waves of guilt, pain and regret. In war no one is safe. Nowhere.

 Returning to a place she once called home was just a foolish thought in Casey´s brain. Everybody moved on in her absence. No one to return to for a warm embrace or innocent chatter. Home was a gaping hole and had long since healed and scarred up. She thought that with growing up in a place full of violence, tears and poverty she had seen everything. But nothing could have prepared her for the life as a soldier. She had seen friends, allies and blood brothers die. The moment you enlist, no matter what age, you either die in combat or live with the guilt of what your hands caused.

 At twenty-seven years old she had seen it all. Done it all. First Afghanistan, then Syria - and now everywhere they needed her assistance. As a liaison officer for the Dutch Special Forces she could be in London one day, and in Moscow the next.

 It has been twenty-six months since the last time she set foot in the cosy coffee shop in her hometown of Rotterdam. The air is thick with the scent of the dark liquid. Before she makes her way to the table in the corner of the place she orders a cappuccino at the counter. The first thing she does before sitting down is grabbing the laptop out of her backpack. She would never leave without the device. You could never know when another terrorist cell would pop up with the most horrific intentions. The laptop didn’t look as new as a few months back, but it saved a lot of lives in the meantime. Collecting information and analysing data were the main tasks on the computer to provide guidance and direction in modern warfare. Since Casey came back from the special operation in Istanbul there has been a lot of chatter about Al-Qatala. Unfortunately, the rules of engagement kept her from acting on it.

 The moment the barista turns up with her drink a notification appears on the screen of the laptop – a new email from Kyle. “Casey- We need to talk.” A short, but clear message. She winced as she took a quick sip from the overly bitter drink. The lack of cream made it just another caffeine shot. Not what she expected, but something she needed. She met Sergeant Kyle Garrick a couple of months back when working on a case at the Metropolitan Police Service. It was then that he crossed paths with allies of Omar Sulaman, also known as the Wolf, for the first time. “Call you in twenty,” was all she replied before sliding the laptop back in her bag and walking over to the barista to pay for the coffee.

 Back in the hotel room near central station she immediately sets up a secured connection to contact the British sergeant. Within seconds after calling in, Kyle appeared on the screen in front of her. “Casey, where are you?” Kyle asked. “Hey Gaz, how are you doing? Nice to see you, too” Casey chuckled watching the intense look on Kyle’s face. “Sorry, Case… but we got trouble incoming. Another one of the Wolf’s safe houses got onto our radar,” he explained. Casey couldn’t believe her ears. “Where?” was all she replied. “South London. Near Sutton. How fast can you get here?” From Rotterdam to London by train would take five hours with a stop in Paris. Taking the train of one o’clock would give her one hour to pack everything and check out of the hotel. “I can be at Saint Pancras at five. Can you send me the intel you got so far?” Kyle leaned towards the camera and nodded, “Great. I’ll pick you up at the lower level of the station, near the taxi rank. We don’t have much, but I’ll send you everything through the server. See you soon!” Casey waved her hand, “Copy that”.

 During the train ride to London, Casey poured herself into the data she had received from Kyle. He had send her a map of the safe house and all the intel they managed to collect in the last couple of days. The Wolf was back on the grit with a desire to make the west suffer to gain advantage and power. Sulaman is the leader of the terrorist organization responsible for plotting terror attacks, inspiring sleeper cells and lone followers to ban against world power. He was once a freedom fighter, a leader and a hero in the eyes of the west, but he turned. A lack of will made him intolerant. His knowledge of the western strategic limitations moulded him a kingpin of mass destruction. Both the man, and his movement gained mass support in the last years. Casey rested her head in her hands as memories flooded her mind. She had the chance to kill him a few years back, but a bullet… one freaking bullet stopped her from ending it all. The voice over the speakers yanked her out of the trance. The train arrived at its final destination, London Saint Pancras International.

 As promised, Kyle was waiting a the taxi rank on the lower level of the huge station. The area was a seething of mass of humanity – people on their way back home from a nine to five office job, tourists on the move to platform nine and three quarters, and teenagers meeting up with friends for a unforgettable night out. “Sergeant,” she said as she walked up to the six foot tall Afro-British SAS soldier. His brown eyes sparkled as he saw the brunette approach him. “Lieutenant,” he replied before embracing her in a tight hug. “Glad to see you, gal.”

 The ride to the Yard was filled with chatter between the two, but as soon as they arrived at the headquarters the talk got more serious. “Did you check the intel?” Kyle asked as they stepped into the elevator. “I did. Got some strategies on how to handle the raid and clean house. There are multiple ways to enter the property, and we need to be prepared for the worst case scenario. We both know how the Wolf likes to set up his security,” Casey answered. “Good. I got a team waiting for us to go through the plan. We don’t have much time, but it should be enough to get in prepared,” he replied. Upon entering the briefing room she already spotted a few men waiting in front of the screen. “Lads, meet Casey Vos. Lieutenant and liaison officer from the Dutch Special Forces. She is going to assist us at tonight’s clean up,” Kyle kicked off. A member of the team walks towards Casey and holds out his hand, “Welcome, Lieutenant. I’m Brooks and this here are Crowley and Fowler.” It was a simple welcome, but greatly appreciated. Meetings like this weren’t always easy, especially not when you were the only woman operating in a team of dudes.  “Thank you. Nice to meet you. I would like to start the briefing in five. Kyle, are we expecting more men?” she smiled while shaking Brooks’ hand. “Yes, we do actually. Let me get them, so you can set everything up.”

  8:45 PM Sutton, South London

The twilight quickly faded to blackness in the small alleys in Sutton, a southern borough in London.  Thick clouds blotted out the stars and the moon in the still air. In the distance you could hear the cry of dogs. “Okay, guys. Be advised. There may be non-combatants on target. Check your shots. Watch those corners,” Casey instructed making way to the residence. Before entering the courtyard behind the house, they met up with another team. Casey, Kyle, Brooks, Crowley and Fowler would enter the premises from the back. The second team consisting of three officers would enter from the side, and a third team would enter from the front. “Ready? Good. Alpha-One moving in on the rear.”

 “Alpha-One, this is Alpha-Two. About to enter the eastern alley,” one of the officers stated on the comms.  “Copy that, Alpha-Two.” Entering through the back door was easy and the kitchen area was empty, but two deep voices could be heard from the living area of the house. Kyle slowly opened the door and dropped the two men, who were both armed. “Secure.” Casey moved up to the hallway when Alpha-Three entered through the front door. Footsteps could be heard from the upper level of the townhouse. “Alpha-One moving to the first floor,” Casey said tapping Brooks shoulder. Quietly they moved in formation and cleared the second floor. “Casey, on me” Kyle spoke pointing to the last floor. Frantic movement could be heard from upstairs. The Al-Qatala members definitely knew something was going on below them. “ I hear two. I got your six, Gaz” Casey said after checking her weapon if it was in need of a reload. The two steadily moved up and ceased in front of the wooden door at the end of the small corridor. They looked at each other and nodded before entering the last room. A woman and a little boy where hiding in a corner of the dark space. “Hold your fire,” Kyle said when he saw they were unarmed.  The sergeant restraint the mother and her child, and guided them downstairs. “Case, see what you can find!”

 The house wasn’t big, but it was a ginormous mess. Papers spread everywhere – on the floor, in cabinets, pinned on the wall. And not to mention the devices that were present that had to be examined. Phones and laptops scattered all over the place. “Alpha-Two for Alpha-One, we need you on the first floor,” she heard in her earpiece. “Copy, Alpha-Two.” Grabbing everything she already found, she made her way to the other team. “What do you got for me?” she asked the officer. “You’re not going to like this,” he said while turning the screen of the black laptop so she had a clear view of the data. Her eyes combed the display from side to side rapidly. She held her breath to concentrate as if her life depended on it. She started to violently beat her fingers against the keyboard in search for more while the glittering beads of sweat trickled down her forehead. All the fragments clogged her mind and she tried to connect them all together. “Shit,” was all she could say after opening one of the encrypted files. “Get Sergeant Garrick. Now!” she spat to the officer. It wasn’t long before Kyle got to Casey. “We’re in deep shit, Kyle. Check this out. Apparently the Wolf has his eyes on chlorine gas from Barkov. A group of mercs are prepping the convoy as we speak. This is really bad. You know what happens when he gets his hands on chemicals like this.” The Brit was stunned by the info he just consumed. His mind was going haywire. “We need to do something,” he affirmed. Casey knew what she had to do. It was her only option to try to prevent any close encounters with chemicals like this.

__________

Masterlist

Want to get tagged in upcoming chapters? Let me know!

[steve0discusses]

Live Action Fullmetal Alchemist Pt 2: Winry

OK, it appears tumblr will let me edit a draft again (yay!) So I can go ahead and quickly edit this post I made long ago, before this corona situation, when I was just...so happy...all of the time.

Anyway, it starts out with meeting a villain

So like, I don’t want to step on the toes of one of the biggest and most highly regarded fandoms but Lust wears more clothes than Envy and only seduced one idiot and yet her defining trait is that she’s Lust?

Just seems like she could’ve been more lusty.

And yeah she’s the first to die so it’s not like she had much time, but like, is she Lust just because she’s a lady with boobs? Boobs make you Lust? I see boobs every time I look in a mirror, and I’m pretty sure I’ve worn less clothes than lust on multiple occasions and I am a very prudish person. Whatever, that said, lets get to the good stuff, that’s right, it’s a train, this is what we’re all here for, step aside, Lust and your boobs, we want that good train action.

Damn look at that train. Look at that good train.

Last we left off, Al was cleaning up the mess Ed made, although I’m pretty sure in the anime, Ed could easily fix this stuff in like half a second. But in the movie, they removed that particular alchemy superpower and just kind of leave the town wrecked and go “sorry guys, we’re gonna just leave it like this so we can hold it over Ed later, sorry about the fruit stand. We gotta get realllll catty with my older brother.”

Which is when we introduce Winry.

So like...you can’t really tell from here but they decided to put rivets on everything Winry wears and that’s about all we have here to make her into the Winry I recognize, and that’s OK. It’s OK they stepped away from blonde. They were just so completely exhausted after how many times they had to stick Ed’s braid back on that they just...gave up. However, she is absolutely wearing fake bangs. Just throwing that out there, it’s not a bad look, and I’m a little jealous of them, but no one has bangs like that naturally, as a person who tried Zooey Deschenel bangs for 6 years.

And also--I got a comment on the last post that apparently a lot of Ed’s hair is REAL and they dyed it for the movie. I don’t know which parts exactly, I feel very suspicious of The Braid, but...that is so unfortunate.

So, lets see what Ed’s been up to, considering he left about 5 minutes ago.

(read more under the cut)

Yeah. Just don’t think about it. Maps don’t exist in this movie. It’s a little rough coming from the anime which was pretty map heavy, but this movie says “nah” to maps. This map doesn’t exist. The whole thing where they were making a big alchemy circle out of Amestris? Not a thing anymore, don’t think about it.

Ed and his substitute Dad, Roy Mustang, are too busy fighting about Ed’s only motivation in this movie. This scene happened in the anime as well, and it was sort of different, but again this movie has to abridge a hell ton of content so this is what we got.

Enter, Hughes.

So Hughes is great. Easily one of the best characters in the anime, who only exists just to die, and they made him just as likeable in this movie. This actor was clearly really jazzed to play a soon to be dead Hughes and he did a great job. Course, it’s a pretty wacky Hughes, but that’s fine, this is a weirdly wacky movie.

Also now this guy is here.

(and sorry to let you all down but Ed’s Real Dad or Ed’s Real Dad’s Clone does not even appear in this movie. I know. You might be wondering...so what else is left when you remove...all of that...don’t worry. We’ll get there.)

General Hakuro, I had to look up, because I had completely forgotten who this tool was. But it didn’t really matter, because in their attempt to shorten the anime, Hakuro ends up taking the part of like 10 other people in the original. I mean yeah, you gotta edit, but I just didn’t expect all those people to be played by the part of Hakuro.

No one expects the twists to be honest, it’s...it’s really freakin weird.

Anyways, at least we get to enjoy some Hughes time before he kicks it and this actor will absolutely get his Hughes fill out of every line because he knows he’ll be dead by Act 2. Ah Hughes, the worst spy. I love Hughes. This movie did such a good Hughes.

Listen I know that Winry and Ed are BELOVED. But like, I didn’t feel it in the anime. Be aware of my shipping immunity--I am sort of stone cold and I haven’t really shipped any fictional couples in my entire life. I have to really get sold on a ship to go for a ship, it’s just my weird superpower to be immune to shipping. I’m weird.

But I totally get that Ed and Winry are very beloved and so if you ship it, that’s wonderful. All ships are welcome here. However, this is a very different Ed and Winry dynamic. They’re actually attracted to each other from the get go and their dialogue is playful and they sync up really well like a married couple. And, they do all that without having Ed ignore her until she’s about to die and without any awkward underboob sequences (which was actually very funny in the anime, I’m not gonna lie). And again, this is entirely personal preference, but they do the bare minimum and it worked for me way better than the anime had in 50+ episodes.

Maybe it’s not for everyone, this, again, is just personal preference but...you do not need to torture your female protagonist to turn her into a romantic interest, you just have to have your characters romantically interested in each other. That’s really it. That’s the science. Yet, so many shows refuse to do the bare minimum.

Bear in mind, we also cover Yugioh here, so I might just be getting excited to actually cover a legit romance in a recap for once in my life that isn’t laced with so many bodies/cursed paper cards.

Also, while I make jokes about the sister vibes in the recap--the movie totally dropped any indication that they had been raised in the same house for a while (unlike the anime, which liked to remind you a lot).

Meanwhile, the General is having a really great conversation with himself and it’s like...all over the place. Maybe it was a translation error but this dialogue was kind of a mess.

props to this actor for doing a really good “Oh no she stabbed me through the head!” face. I imagine this face was half his audition. It’s good.

Anyways, as this guy gets eaten alive, Gluttony’s shadow reveals it has a hellton of teeth coming out of it’s stomach. I remember these teeth being a really neat reveal in the anime because it was like halfway through the series, but like, I think this movie kinda expects you to have already seen the anime, so they didn’t really bother hiding this.

Don’t worry we get to see real CGI teeth later and it is *bad*

By bad I mean really good.

Anyways, if you’re new here, I freakin love prop food and I will always take like a good minute to admire any food that is on set.

Like it’s pretty blurry but I’m pretty sure there’s two soups and two salads. Maybe they just decided to raid the actor’s buffet table for this scene but it’s just a really random assortment and also a really huge ass buffet for like 4 people since Al doesn’t eat.

Hughes’ cute girl was written out of the script but I don’t blame them because wow how many bad child actors do you need? That does mean we don’t get the sweet scene of Hughes pulling out his gun at a children’s birthday party, but this movie does have to end at some point so yes, the cute child antics got cut.

Much like moooooost of the people in this cast. At this point I’m just accepting it and moving forward.

Anyway, here’s a link you can click to read all of these in chrono order. There’s just 2 of them. I only have 2 left before I actually have to start watching this movie again so...hopefully by then I’ll...be better adjusted from this quarantine burn out I’ve been dealing with.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/FMA/chrono

[stillinaincrad]

The NineSpot: Anime I Really Liked with Sequels I Really Didn’t

Am not calling any of these the worst sequels of all time or likewise calling any of the originals the best ever by any stretch of anyone’s imagination, but these are sequels to anime series I fell in love with and didn’t really care at all for what came next. (am not considering OVAs or movies based on entire shows, btw, because they both almost always suck compared to entire seasons anime)

1. Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? (Dungeon ni Deai wo Motomeru no wa Machigatteiru Darou ka)

The original DanMachi series was proof-positive that predictable and cliché can still yield a really great tale when the directing and production is top notch. Everything that should have made it lackluster couldn’t outweigh the feels and I always end up smiling earlobe to earlobe. The characters are beyond well crafted, and it is still crystalline-clear that this project was someone’s pride and joy. I adore the original series. The Sword Oratorio spinoff was -meh- to me, it leaned too much on the original for hooks as it tried to fill in Ais’ backstory and ended up being more about Lefiya anyways (plus they blatantly stole the marquee anthem from Last of the Mohicans, which turns me off a thousand times every time it plays now). Oratorio provided some levity, but did nothing at all to advance the story. Then we got DanMachi 2, which started out with mediocre writing but a killer arc and the backbone surfaced for some amazing story depth to amass, but all we got in the end was the horribly lame Ishtar arc where a depressed fox girl doesn’t want to be a prostitute and Bell feels bad about it. I’ve felt exactly nothing for these characters since the original.

2. Overlord

Take a peruse through my blog and you will see that I have never campaigned for a second season of anything more than I did Overlord. I LOVE the first season, it is an absolute favorite of mine, and being that it is yet another Madhouse anime I honestly never expected more but always clamored for it because Overlord was absolutely deserving. When we finally got S2, it threw me for a loop because the original cast barely appears in the first four episodes, but then I found my feet and eventually got myself into the new episodes. Ironically, that is about all that this second season had to offer to me. The lizardmen arc is fantastic, definitely watch it, but when that ends? Here’s about all you need to know: Sebas has a softer side, Climb is a little bitch. There you go, onto season 3 (which is fantastic, btw). 

3. Full Metal Panic

FMP is one of my favorite old-school anime ever, because it balances great humor, great characters, and - despite a shload of filler in the second half - a great all-around story. It is SUCH a gem. Second Raid was a tad bumpy due to a new studio, but still fantastic, and Fumoffu was the comedic break that an already goofball of an anime conjured up and it totally fit as long as no one took it too seriously. Then, some 15yrs later out of nowhere we get Invisible Victory, which Xebec used to completely rewrite everything, and not in a good way. From go, Kyouka - an important supporting character from the outset - is killed and totally glossed over like it wasn’t significant asf, and I got pissed. Then all the already-established characters took on totally new personalities of grave seriousness, which was never the brand. When you take previously established characters who have always been hopeful, energetic, and buoyant to a fault, always looking forward and up - and suddenly make all of them overtly dramatic, hardened, and inordinately austere across the board, it totally cheapens the original and to an extent that superflous doesen't even begin to describe. Massive franchise fail, Xebec - dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow. Easily the sequel I have hated the most. As in, ever. 

4. Sword Art Online

Look, I am the last person you need to tell how much bad this series has divulged into. I was so all-in on the concept, the characters, the drama, and the love of the original series. Do you think it’s ironic that I’ve been doing this almost 5yrs now and haven’t changed my URL? I’ve always said that if the first Matrix movie were left alone and that was it - Neo giving that threat and then flying off into the credits and we have to make up the reality that may or may not have transpired after that -  that it would be in the top 10 movies ever made. That’s how I see the first arc of SAO. It was THAT good, I have somehow watched it more than anything ever made. I originally considered the whole second half of the first season to be filler and am always turned off at the molestation that it celebrates, but said it was ‘for the story’. Then the Sterben shiz happened and I said ‘yes, it’s the EXACT SAME STORY  but it’s going somewhere’, and then it did, to somewhere absolutely worse. I made it about halfway through Alicization and I up and quit altogether. SAO is such a shit franchise - the only thing that has gotten worse than the animation is the writing, the characters that used to be great are so incredibly shallow and annoying now, and I have made more fun of something I used to love than anyone. I am the first to admit I am a huge heel for most of what I have said in support of it in the past. But omg those first 14 episodes. I can’t label the initial tale of SAO as anything but amazing. And if those 14 episodes were the only episodes we ever got, I would easily call it one of the best anime ever made.

5. Date a Live

I almost have to laugh that I am about to mention Date a Live after that. DAL was never going to be confused with a good anime, but it was fun. It was silly and rampant and insane, but you still fell in love with the characters because they were totally and completely worth falling in love with. Then DAL2 happened, and I hate this season a little too much. It was released too soon, it was done too poorly, it was just every kind of measurable cringe. The only thing worse than the writing was the lackadaisical and pedestrian voice acting, and that’s saying a lot considering how intern-worthy the animation of the second season was. DAL3 redeems itself plenty, the characters become likeable again, and there is an actual story and it isn’t awful and harkens back to seeds planted that were never developed, and at least part of the budget was dedicated to better artwork. But wow - DAL2 is just pure hot garbage.

6. A Certain Magical Index (Toaru Majutsu no Index)

The first two seasons of both Raildex series have casts I'd pretty much take on an entire den of Wendol with a soup spoon to protect. They're just that good, so I was beyond excited when a third Index season was announced. I've never read the source material, so maybe some were ready for it more than I was, but Index III started off TOTALLY different - the blood and brutality is turned up past 10, everybody up and turned into an a-hole about everything, and it all felt very foreign to me compared to everything before it. But, I stayed in because I was still invested in the characters and wanted to see where it all went. It eventually reminded me a lot of the good 'ol days of anime where it wasn't always happy, where sometimes even the good guys made you feel bad, and where there was a fairly complex storyline that you really had to pay attention to if you wanted to keep up. The difference is, a lot of those shows were good. Index III just... was. I got nothing out of choking my way through the entire season, and really didn't care about anything but finishing it long before I ever did. I still feel a bit betrayed that this was the anime that fans waited 8 years for. 

7. Eureka 7 Ao

No need for any exposé. Screencap says it all. How you follow up one of the most epic mecha anime ever with this fail of a series is beyond me. Great music, absolutely abysmal writing. 

8. Infinite Stratos

Was Infinite Stratos good? Original, yes. Fun, yes, Characters that made you care about them, yes. But good? BWAHAHAHA NO, it absolutely was not good. IS is one of a handful of titles I chuckle about saying I enjoyed, because it's quite bad. Which is how you know IS2 is total dregs, because it's so very bad that it makes the first season look kinda decent. There was a story worth developing in place in the second season, they just chose to go full potato on the harem and fanservice elements instead, and decided that the writing didn't really matter. The ensuing episodes are for the most part just too much stupid to watch. 

9. Blood Blockade Battlefront (Kekkai Sensen)

A bit of an odd duck, Kekkai Sensen introduced us to a world of enigmatic and strange bedfellows traversing a totally bonkers landscape of a world that somehow all manages to come together as a collective yaaas in the end. There is a unity that develops between them which task by wacky task binds these otherwise incongruent personalities together towards a common goal, and interpersonal gold eventually develops between them. The strengths of the individual are blended like watercolor to reinforce the weaknesses of the individual within the resulting eccentric genus. A cliché but nonetheless robust red string of fate ties all the loose ends together and a fantastic actuality of cognizance materializes between the ragtag cast and the forces that amass against them, and the first season ends with a feel-good that no one could have ever seen coming. It really is a great ride. Then the second season happens, and the glue that holds it all together feathers and ‘stuff just happens’. I was disappointed that all that great writing and plot that intertwines in the first season is totally absent in the second, and in the end it becomes just tales. I wanted so much more and got barfly stories regaled secondhand. 

[aion-rsa]

The Best Horror Movies to Stream

https://ift.tt/36P7Are

Updated for October 2020

The world of streaming horror movies can be an overwhelming place.

Let’s say you’ve got your Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu and HBO Max subscriptions all set and ready. Now you want to get terrified with the best horror movies you can find in time for Halloween. But there are so many options! What’s a horror addict to do?

Here you’ll find the master list. That’s right, we’ve hand-selected only the absolute best and most terrifying horror movies available on all the major streaming services and combined them here for your streaming (or screaming) pleasure.

Be sure to let us know if you make it through all 31!

Apostle

Available on: Netflix

Apostle comes from acclaimed The Raid director Gareth Evans and it’s his take on the horror genre. Spoiler alert: it’s a good one.

Dan Stevens stars as Thomas Richardson, a British man in the early 1900s who must rescue his sister, Jennifer, from the clutches of a murderous cult. Thomas successfully infiltrates the cult led by the charismatic Malcom Howe (Michael Sheen) and begins to ingratiate himself with the strange folks obsessed with bloodletting. Thomas soon comes to find that the object of the cult’s religious fervor may be more real than he’d prefer.

Apostle is a wild, atmospheric, and very gory good time.

The Blackcoat’s Daughter

Available on: Netflix

Some kids dream about being left overnight or even a week at certain locations to play, like say a mall or a Chuck E. Cheese. One place that no one wants to be left alone in, however, is a Catholic boarding school.

That’s the situation that Rose (Lucy Boynton) and Kat (Kiernan Shipka) find themselves in in the atmospheric and creepy The Blackcoat’s Daughter. When Rose and Kat’s parents are unable to pick them up for winter break, the two are forced to spend the week at their dingy Catholic boarding school. If that weren’t bad enough, Rose fears that she may be pregnant…oh, and the nuns might all be Satanists.

Read more

Movies

A24 Horror Movies Ranked From Worst to Best

By David Crow and 3 others

Movies

Katharine Isabelle on How Ginger Snaps Explored the Horror of Womanhood

By Rosie Fletcher

The Blackcoat’s Daughter is an excellent debut directorial outing from Oz Perkins and another step on the right horror path for scream queens Shipka and Emma Roberts.

The Cabin in the Woods

Available on: Amazon Prime

A remote cabin in the woods is one of the most frequently occurring settings in all of horror. What better location for teenagers to be tormented by monsters, demons, or murderous hillbillies? Writer/Director Joss Whedon takes that tried and true setting and uses it as a jumping off points for one of the most successful metatextual horror movies in recent memory.

Like you would expect, The Cabin in the Woods features five college friends (all representing certain youthful archetypes, of course) renting a….well, a cabin in the woods. Soon things begin to go awry in a very traditional horror movie way. But then The Cabin in the Woods begins doling out some of the many tricks it has up its sleeve. This is a fascinating, very funny, and yet still creepy breakdown of horror tropes that any horror fan can enjoy.

The Changeling (1980)

Available on: Shudder

A classic haunted house ghost story that frequently makes horror best of lists The Changeling sees a bereaved composer move into a creepy mansion that’s been vacant for 12 years. Vacant that is, except for the spirit of a little boy who met an untimely death…

An unravelling mystery with a sense of intrigue and pathos that draws you into the narrative, all the way to the sad and disturbing final act revelation.

City of the Living Dead

Available on: Amazon Prime

Italian horror director Lucio Fulci kicked off his famous “Gates of Hell” trilogy with this gruesome, crude but surreal 1980 gorefest, in which a reporter (Christopher George) and a psychic (Catriona MacColl) struggle to stop those gates from opening and letting a horde of hungry undead into the world.

Read more

Movies

The Horror Movies That May Owe Their Existence To H.P. Lovecraft

By Don Kaye

Movies

How Relic Explores our Most Primal Fears

By Rosie Fletcher

Fulci loosely based the movie on the works of H.P. Lovecraft, vying for the latter’s brooding atmosphere while indulging in his own trademark splatter. The results are somewhat slapdash but a must-see for Italian horror fans. Followed by the much better The Beyond (1980) and House by the Cemetery (1981).

The Dead Zone

Available on: Amazon Prime

The Dead Zone strangely remains both one of Stephen King’s more underrated movie adaptations as well as one of director David Cronenberg’s more unsung efforts. Yet it ends up being among the best from both author and auteur, while also providing star Christopher Walken with one of his most moving, complex performances to date.

Read more

TV

Upcoming Stephen King Movies and TV Shows in Development

By Matthew Byrd and 6 others

Movies

Jason Blum Promises “Faithful” New Adaptation Of Stephen King’s Firestarter

By Don Kaye

Walken’s Johnny Smith awakens from a coma to find out he’s lost five years of his life but gained a frightening talent to touch people and see both their deepest secrets and their future. Whether to use that power to impact the world around him is the choice he must face in this bittersweet, eerie and heartfelt film, which found Cronenberg moving away from his trademark body horror for the first time.

Doctor Sleep

Available on: HBO Max

Let’s be up front about this: Doctor Sleep is not The Shining. For some that fact will make this sequel’s existence unforgivable. Yet there is a stoic beauty and creepy despair just waiting to be experienced by those willing to accept Doctor Sleep on its own terms.

Directed by one of the genre’s modern masters, Mike Flanagan, the movie had the unenviable task of combining one of King’s most disappointing texts with the opposing sensibilities of Stanley Kubrick’s singular The Shining adaptation.

Read more

Movies

Doctor Sleep: Inside the New Overlook Hotel

By John Saavedra

Movies

Doctor Sleep Ending Explained

By John Saavedra

And yet, the result is an effective thriller about lifelong regrets and trauma personified by the ghostly specters of the Overlook Hotel. But they’re far from the only horrors here. Rebecca Ferguson is absolutely chilling as the smiling villain Rose the Hat, and the scene where she and other literal energy vampires descend upon young Jacob Tremblay is the stuff of nightmares. Genuinely, it’s a scene you won’t forget, for better or worse….

The Evil Dead

Available on: Netflix

1981’s The Evil Dead is nothing less than one of the biggest success stories in horror movie history.

Written and directed on a shoestring budget by Sam Raimi, The Evil Dead uses traditional horror tropes to its great advantage, creating a scary, funny, and almost inconceivably bloody story about five college students who encounter a spot of bother in a cabin in the middle of the woods. That spot of bother includes the unwitting release of a legion of demons upon the world.

Read more

Movies

Evil Dead Movies: The Most Soul Sucking Moments

By David Crow

Movies

Living with the Cult Legacy of Evil Dead

By Hannah Bonner

The Evil Dead rightfully made stars of its creator and lead Bruce Campbell. It was also the jumping off point for a successful franchise that includes two sequels, a remake, a TV show, and more.

A Field in England

Available on: Amazon Prime

2013’s A Field in England presents compelling evidence that more horror movies should be shot in black and white.

Directed by British director Ben Wheatley, A Field in England is a kaleidoscope of trippy, cerebral horror. The film takes place in 1648, during the English Civil War. A group of soldiers is taken in by a kindly man, who is soon revealed to be an alchemist. The alchemist takes the soldiers to a vast field of mushrooms where they are subjected to a series of mind-altering, nightmarish visions.

A Field in England is aggressively weird, creative, and best of all clocks in at exactly 90 minutes.

Fright Night

Available on: Amazon Prime

Screenwriter-turned-director Tom Holland lets a jaded, smarmy vampire named Jerry Dandridge loose in suburbia and watches the blood spurt in this beloved ‘80s horror staple.

Chris Sarandon brings a nice combination of amusement and menace to the role of the bloodsucker, while Planet of the Apes veteran Roddy McDowall is endearing as a washed-up horror host recruited into a real-life horror show. Much of Fright Night is teen-oriented and somewhat dated, but it still works as a sort of precursor to later post-modern horror gems like Scream.

Green Room

Available on: Netflix

Green Room is a shockingly conventional horror movie despite not having all of the elements we traditionally associate with them. There are no monsters or the supernatural in Green Room.

Instead all monsters are replaced by vengeful neo-Nazis and the haunted house is replaced by a skinhead punk music club in the middle of nowhere in the Oregon woods. The band The Aint Rights, led by bassist Pat (Anton Yelchin) are locked in the green room of club after witnessing a murder and must fight their way out.

Hellraiser (1987)

Available on: Shudder

Directed by Clive Barker based on his novella The Hellbound Heart, Hellraiser is an infernal body horror featuring S&M demons who’ve found a way out of a dark dimension and want to take you back there.

Read more

Movies

Michael Myers vs Pinhead: The Hellraiser/Halloween Crossover That Never Was

By Jack Beresford

Movies

Ranking the Hellraiser Movies

By Jamie Andrew

This is the movie which introduced chief Cenobite Pinhead (played by Doug Bradley) – who would return for seven more Hellraiser sequels. But the first is of course, remains the edgiest and the best. Hellbound: Hellraiser II is also available.

Hereditary

Available on: Amazon Prime

Between Hereditary and The Haunting of Hill House 2018 was a great year for turning familial trauma into horror.

Written and directed by Ari Aster, Hereditary follows the Graham family as they deal with the death of their secretive grandmother. As Annie Graham (Toni Collette) comes to terms with the loss, she begins to realize that she may have inherited a mental illness from her late mother…or something worse.

Read more

Movies

Hereditary: The Real Story of King Paimon

By Tony Sokol

Movies

Hereditary Ending Explained

By David Crow

Hereditary is terrifying because it asks a deceptively simple but truly creepy question: what do we really inherit from our family?

The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

Available on: Shudder

Wes Craven’s 1977 cult classic sees an extended family become stranded in the desert when their trailer breaks down and they start to get picked off by cannibals living in the hills. It’s brutally violent but it also has things to say about the nature of violence, as the seemingly civilized Carter family turn feral. The film was remade in 2006 but the original is still the best.

Horror of Dracula

Available on: HBO Max

Replacing Bela Lugosi as Dracula was not easily done in 1958. It’s still not easily done now. Which makes the fact that Christopher Lee turned Bram Stoker’s vampire into his own screen legend in Horror of Dracula all the more remarkable. Filmed in vivid color by director Terence Fisher, Horror of Dracula brought gushing bright red to the movie vampire, which up until then had been mostly relegated to black and white shadows.

Read more

Movies

Bram Stoker’s Dracula and the Seduction of Old School Movie Magic

By David Crow

TV

BBC/Netflix Dracula’s Behind-the-Scenes Set Secrets

By Louisa Mellor

With its penchant for gore and heaving bosoms, Horror of Dracula set the template for what became Hammer Film Productions’ singular brand of horror iconography, but it’s also done rather tastefully the first time out here, not least of all because of Lee bring this aggressively cold-blooded version of Stoker’s monster to life. It’s all business with this guy.

Conversely, Abraham Van Helsing was never more dashing than when played by Peter Cushing in this movie. The film turned both into genre stars, and paved the way for a career of doing this dance time and again.

The House of the Devil

Available on: Amazon Prime

Indie horror auteur Ti West’s low-budget creepfest is a homage to 1980s horror yet plays it straight; he sets out to make a movie with the feel of genre films from that era without making self-aware in-jokes and references — and he mostly succeeds.

But The House of the Devil is also the definition of a “slow burn”: very little happens for much of the first hour (save a jolt here and there) and then the third act explodes into a paroxysm of murder, gore and Satanic horror. That makes the film feel a little off-balance, although in the end it all becomes quite unnerving.

House on Haunted Hill

Available on: Amazon Prime

What would you do for $10,000? How about surviving a night in a mansion haunted by murder victims and owned by a psychotic millionaire? Seems like a party trick until people actually start dying.

Vincent Price is the master and mastermind of a house that suddenly makes everyone homicidal—but the real pièce de résistance is what dances out of a vat of flesh-eating acid.

Some vintage horror never dies, and this 1959 classic is immortal.

Hush

Available on: Netflix

In his follow-up to the cult classic Oculus, Mike Flanagan makes one of the cleverer horror movies on this list. Hush is a thrilling game of cat-and-mouse with the typical nightmare of a home invasion occurring, yet it also turns conventions of that familiar terror on its head. For instance, the savvy angle about this movie is Kate Siegel (who co-wrote the movie with Flanagan) plays Maddie, a deaf and mute woman living in the woods alone. Like Audrey Hepburn’s blind woman from the progenitor of home invasion stories, Wait Until Dark (1967), Maddie is completely isolated when she is marked for death by a menacing monster in human flesh.

Further, like the masked villains of so many more generic home invasion movies (we’re looking square at you, Strangers), John Gallagher Jr.’s “Man” wears a mask as he sneaks into her house. However, the functions of this story are laid bare since we actually keep an eye on what the “Man” is doing at all times, and how he is getting or not getting into the house in any given scene. He is not aided by filmmakers who’ve given him faux-supernatural and omnipotent abilities like other versions of these stories, and he’s not an “Other;” he is a man who does take his mask off, and his lust for murder is not so much fetishized as shown for the repulsive behavior that it is. And still, Maddie proves to be both resourceful and painfully ill-equipped to take him on in this tense battle of wills.

The Invitation

Available on: Netflix

Seeing your ex is always uncomfortable, but imagine if your ex-wife invited you to a dinner party with her new husband? That is just about the least creepy thing in this new, taut thriller nestled in the Hollywood Hills. Indeed, in The Invitation Logan Marshall-Green’s Will is invited by his estranged wife (Tammy Blanchard) for dinner with her new hubby David (Michael Huisman of Game of Thrones). David apparently wanted to extend the bread-breaking offer personally since he has something he wants to invite both Will and all his other guests into joining. And it isn’t a game of Scrabble…

Intense, strange, and not what you expect, this is one of the more inventive thrillers of 2016.

Midsommar

Available on: Amazon Prime

It’s hard to categorize Midsommar, Ari Aster’s follow-up to his absolutely terrifying horror debut, Hereditary. Part straight up horror, part The Wicker Man, and part anthropological study, Midsommar seems to occupy many genres all at once. Aster himself called it a “break up” movie. But whatever genre Midsommar is, it is a brilliant, and at times deeply disturbing film.

Florence Pugh stars as Dani, a young woman trying to heal in the wake of an enormous tragedy. Dani follows her boyfriend, Christian, and his annoying friends to an important midsummer festival deep in the heart of Sweden. Christian and company are there partly to get high and have fun and also partly to study the unique, isolated culture for their respective theses. To say that they get more than they bargained for is an understatement. But Dani may just end up getting exactly what she needs.

Night of the Living Dead

Available on: Amazon Prime, HBO Max

George A. Romero’s 1968 zombie classic The Night of the Living Dead messed up the minds of late ’60s moviegoers as much as it messed with every horror movie that followed. Shot on gritty black and white stock, the film captures the desperate urgency of a documentary shot at the end of the world. It is a tale of survival, an allegory for the Vietnam War and racism and suspenseful as hell freezing over.

Read more

TV

The Walking Dead vs. Real-Life Survivalists: How to Prep for The Zombie Apocalypse

By Ron Hogan

Movies

Night of the Living Dead: The Many Sequels, Remakes, and Spinoffs

By Alex Carter

Night of the Living Dead set a new standard for gore, even though you could tell some of the bones the zombies were munching came from a local butcher shop. But what grabs at you are the unexpected shocks. Long before The Walking Dead, Romero caught the terror that could erupt from any character, at any time.

They’re coming to get you. There’s one of them now!

Nosferatu

Available on: Amazon Prime

Nothing beats a classic, and that’s exactly what Nosferatu is. As the unofficial 1922 adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, this German Expressionist masterpiece was almost lost to the ages when the filmmakers lost a copyright lawsuit with Stoker’s widow (who had a point). As a result, most copies were destroyed…but a precious few survived

This definitive horror movie from F.W. Murnau might be a silent picture, but it’s a haunting one where vampirism is used as a metaphor for plague and the Black Death sweeping across Europe. When Count Orlock comes to Berlin, he brings rivers of rats with him and the most repellent visage ever presented by a cinematic bloodsucker.

Read more

TV

13 Essential Dracula Performances in Movies and TV

By Tony Sokol

Culture

The Bleeding Heart of Dracula

By David Crow

The sexy vampires would come later, starting with 1931’s more polished vision of Count Dracula as legendarily played by Bela Lugosi, but Max Schreck is buried under gobs of makeup in Nosferatu making him resemble an emaciated cadaver. Murnau plays with shadow and light to create an intoxicating environment of fever dream repressions. But he also creates the most haunting cinematic image of a vampire yet put on screen.

Pet Sematary (2019)

Available on: Amazon, Hulu

After the classic Stephen King novel of the same name and Mary Lambert’s 1989 movie, what could there possibly be left to say about Pet Sematary? Quite a lot actually! Directors Kevin Kölsch and Dennis Widmyer breathe new life into this old tale…not unlike a certain “sematary” itself.

Read more

Movies

Pet Sematary Ending Explained

By John Saavedra

Movies

On the Set with Pet Sematary’s Producer

By Nick Morgulis

Jason Clarke stars as Louis Creed, an ER doctor from Boston who moves his family to rural Ludlow, Maine to live a quieter life. Shortly into their stay, Louis and his wife Rachel (Amy Semeitz) experience an unthinkable tragedy. That’s ok though as neighbor Jud Crandall (John Lithgow) knows a very peculiar place that can help.

Phantasm

Available on: Amazon Prime

Director and writer Don Coscarelli has said that this 1979 cult classic was inspired by a recurring dream — and we believe him, since Phantasm has the surreal, not-quite-there feel of an inescapable nightmare from start to finish.

With its bizarre plot about a funeral parlor acting as a front to send undead slave labor to another dimension, the iconic image of the Tall Man, killer dwarves and those deadly silver spheres, Phantasm was and is like no other movie of its era.

Poltergeist

Available on: Netflix

Before there was Insidious, The Conjuring, or a myriad of other “suburban family vs. haunted house” movies, there was Poltergeist. Taking ghost stories out of the Gothic setting of ancient castles or decrepit mansions and hotels, Poltergeist moved the spirits into the middle class American heartland of the 1980s. With a smart screenplay by no less than Steven Spielberg (and, according to some, his ghost direction), Poltergeist finds the Freeling family privy to a disquieting fact about their new home: It’s built on top of a cemetery!

You probably know the story, and if you don’t you can guess it after decades of copycats that followed, but this special effects-laden spectacle still holds up, especially as a thriller that can be enjoyed by the whole family. Fair warning though, if your kids have a tree outside their window or a clown doll under their bed, we don’t take responsibility for the years of therapy bills this may inflict!

Ready or Not

Available on: HBO Max

The surprise horror joy of 2019, Ready or Not was a wicked breath of fresh air from the creative team Radio Silence. With a star-making lead turn by Samara Weaving, the movie is essentially a reworking of The Most Dangerous Game where a bride is being hunted by her groom’s entire wedding party on the night of their nuptials.

It’s a nutty premise that has a delicious (and broad) satirical subtext about the indulgences and eccentricities of the rich, as the would-be extended family of Grace (Weaving) is only pursuing her because they’re convinced a grandfather made a deal with the Devil for their wealth–and to keep it they must step on those beneath them every generation. Well step, shoot, stab, and ritualistically sacrifice in this cruelest game of hide and seek ever. Come for the gonzo high-concept and stay for the supremely satisfying ending.

Sweetheart

Available on: Netflix

Don’t let the name fool you, Sweetheart is very much a horror movie. What kind of horror movie, you ask? Well, after a boat sinks during a storm, young Jennifer Remming (Kiersey Clemons) is the only survivor. She washes ashore a small island and gets to work burying her friends, creating shelter, and foraging for food. You know: deserted island stuff.

Read more

Movies

Dog Soldiers: The Wild History of the Most Action Packed Werewolf Movie Ever Made

By Mike Cecchini

Movies

The WNUF Halloween Special: The Making of the Most Fun Found Footage Horror Movie Ever

By Gavin Jasper

Soon, however, Jenn will come to find that the island is not as deserted as she previously thought. There’s something out there – something big, dangerous, and hungry. Sweetheart is like Castaway meets Predator and it’s another indie horror hit for Blumhouse.

The Tenant

Available on: Amazon Prime

Roman Polanski, in addition to being a creep and outright sex criminal, has a grand fascination with apartments, directing an unofficial “Apartment Trilogy” with Repulsion, Rosemary’s Baby, and The Tenant. And it’s not hard to see why. There is something a little strange about dozens if not hundreds of relative strangers all calling the same place “home.”

1976’s The Tenant is the culmination of Polanski’s obsession with communal living and in some ways is the creepiest. Polanski stars as Trelkovsky, a paranoid young file clerk who is on the verge of succumbing to the constant dread he feels. Things are exacerbated when Trelkovsky moves into a Parisian apartment and discovers the previous occupant killed herself. What follows is a tense and trippy exploration of fear itself.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Available on: Shudder

You’ve probably seen this one already, but this founding father of the slasher genre is a bit of a fairy tale when glimpsed at the right light. Some dumb kids wander into the wilderness, far away from the safety of civilization, on a trip to their grandparents’ home.

Read more

Movies

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: How Low-budget Filmmaking Created a Classic

By Ryan Lambie

Movies

The Real Texas Chainsaw Massacre: How Ed Gein Inspired Classic Horror Movies

By Tony Sokol

But instead of reaching their destination, they wind up on the dinner table for the “Other,” who in this case is a redneck family of cannibals with a crossdressing serial killer who’s weapon of choice has an electric motor that makes a sweet hum as its blades tear into your flesh. When viewed like that, it might be worth seeing all over again, eh?

Under the Shadow

Available on: Netflix

This recent 2016 effort could not possibly be more timely as it sympathizes, and terrorizes, an Iranian single mother and child in 1980s Tehran. Like a draconian travel ban, Shideh (Narges Rashidi) and her son Dorsa (Avin Manshadi) are malevolently targeted by a force of supreme evil.

This occurs after Dorsa’s father, a doctor, is called away to serve the Iranian army in post-revolution and war-torn Iran. In his absence evil seeps in… as does a quality horror movie with heightened emotional weight.

Underworld

Available on: Netflix

No one is going to mistake Underworld for high art. That obvious fact makes the lofty pretensions of these movies all the more endearing. With a cast of high-minded British theatrical actors, many trained in the Royal Shakespeare Company, at least the early movies in this Gothic horror/action mash-up series were overflowing with histrionic self-importance and grandiosity.

Take the first and best in the series. In the margins you have Bill Nighy and Michael Sheen portraying the patriarchs of warring factions of vampires and werewolves, and a love story caught between their violence that’s shamelessly modeled on Romeo and Juliet. It’s ridiculous, especially with Scott Speedman playing one party. But when the other is the oft-underrated Kate Beckinsale it doesn’t matter.

The movie’s bombast becomes its first virtue, and Len Wiseman’s penchant for glossy slick visuals, which would look at home in the sexiest Eurotrash graphic novel at the bookstore, is its other. Combined they make this a guilty good time. Though we recommend not venturing past the second or third movie.

Us

Available on: HBO Max

Jordan Peele’s debut feature Get Out was a near instant horror classic so anticipation was high for his follow-up. Thanks to an excellent script, Peele’s deep appreciation of pop culture, and some stellar performances, Us more than lives up to the hype.

Read more

Movies

Us: How Jeremiah 11:11 Fits in Jordan Peele Movie

By Rosie Fletcher

Movies

Us: Jordan Peele’s References and Influences

By David Crow

Us tells the story of the Wilson family from Santa Cruz. After a seemingly normal trip to a summer home and the beach, Adelaide (Lupita Nyong’o), Gabe (Winston Duke) and their two kids are confronted by their own doppelgangers, are weird, barely verbal, and wearing red. That’s just the beginning of the horror at play for the Wilsons and the world. Fittingly, Us feels like a feature length Twilight Zone concept done right.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The post The Best Horror Movies to Stream appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/35N3azd