#that sometimes it makes our relationship feel like it's all my responsibility even though I know its not and theni said bye and he said are

[omgsomeonesomewhereonearth]

.

[skulla-rxcks]

Was that message for me?

Paring: friend!bang chan x afab reader

Rating: explicit

Genre: smut

Warnings: PIV, mutual msturbation, friends trope, chan thinks the message wasn’t for him, slight daddy kink, oral, fingèring

Asking best friend!Chan for help orgasming.. but he thinks the message wasn’t for him

Taglist: @f3lix00 @channiesgoodgirl @mal-lunar-28 @bangchans-gf5 @fun-fanfics @iwannabangchan @linosluver

Please dm me or use my inbox if you’d like to be added to the taglist ^^

!THIS IS PURE FICTION, NOTHING IN THIS IS REAL ITS JUST A STORY!

“Heyy can you come over? I need help :(”

“Why? You okay? What do you need help with?”

“I can’t seem to cum. Every time I try to orgasm I just seem to can’t, it’s like I’m stopped.”

“Were you meant to say that to me?” Chan asks typing his fingers across his phone, clearly confused. This message wasn’t meant for him.. right?

“Wdym?”

“You asked for help with.. you know.. uh things. That wasn’t meant for me right?”

He looks at his phone, his brows furrowing in confusing as he reads over the explicit question asked.

“Chris just come over please. It’s easier to talk in person”

I sigh my mood changing to regret as I can already see the confusion in his face even though I can’t physically see him through my phone. I end up receiving a thumbs up in response ‘thank god I didn’t just mess up our friendship completely’ I sigh in relief; and about twenty or so minutes later I hear the door bell ring; getting up from my bed and exiting my room I go and answer it, opening the door to Chan, clearly questioning what the fuck just happened not too long ago.

“So im guessing it was for me if you asked me to come over..? You did use my name after all.” He steps inside, making his way to my living room and taking a seat on the couch, I sit down next to him, both of us completely flustered.

“I’m really sorry for bringing this up I know it’s probably a bit uncomfortable talking about something like this but-” Chan cuts me off, looking at me with concern.

“No no don’t worry it’s fine! I uh, get like that sometimes I understand.. do you not own toys or anything that could.. give you a hand?” I shake my head, looking embarrassed for bringing this ‘issue’ up to someone who I’d probably consider my guy best friend.

“No.. I mean, I use the handle of my hair brush sometimes but I’ve never had this issue before.” I blush, why am I asking him about something like this? I feel like I’m going to cry out from embarrassment.

He sighs, noticing how uncomfortable I am and how much I trust him to even bring up an issue like this.

“Have you tried anything else? Pillow humping?.. uhh… maybe use more fingers if you.. never mind I’m so sorry I sound really perverted giving suggestions haha.” He laughs, trying to lighten the mood and get some of the tension out of the air that’s filling the room.

“No! Don’t worry Chan it’s fine.. I’m finding it helpful to talk about this stuff..” I mumble under my breath.

“Okay well.. are you stressed? Maybe that’s the reason I’ve heard that stress can stop people from orgasming sometimes?” He suggests, trying to get to the bottom of whatever’s happening. “I’m not sure. Can you give me a hand and see if that’s the problem maybe? I uh, maybe if someone helps me I’ll be able to..”

Chan nods slowly looking into my eyes for permission before reassuring himself with his words. “So you want me to.. help you cum? Like you want me to touch you or..” He scrunches his face, a hint of lust glazing over his features, his soft lips puckering with his expressions, a mix of frowns and smiles cover them.

I Look away, fiddling with my own hands. “If that’s okay.. hopefully it doesn’t ruin our relationship or anything.” I blush, fluttering my eyelashes at him, silently pleading for more. “Of course if that’s what you need to make you feel better then I’m happy to oblige, especially if I’m the one who can make you cum.” He chuckles, the top of his ears turning red.

I smile, beginning to take off my sweat pants along with my panties, watching as he strips himself of his bottom half as well.

“So what now..?” I ask. “Maybe we should start with mutual masturbation.. don’t wanna rush things, you know?” He smiles politely. What a gentle man he is, not rushing into anything fast, even though I’d be happy for whatever he wants to do first with me. “Okay” I nod, picking up our pants and bringing him to my bedroom and sitting down with him. “You know how to do this right?”

“We just.. masturbate side by side?” I look at him. Receiving a nod. I look at him as he starts to wrap his fist around his cock, pumping it slowly before picking up speed, the site of his dick making my insides ache and my cunt twitch with need. Watching him, I slowly thrust two fingers inside of my hole, curling them up to hit my g spot, my eyes however, are hooked onto his dick, watching him like he’s some sort of drug to me, drawing me in more and more with every stroke.

“You’re staring quite a bit, you okay?” He giggles, rubbing his spare hand on my thigh reassuringly. “Yeah yeah it’s just.. wow, I never expected to do something like this with you.. I mean, you’re probably one of my best friends after all” I shuffle closer to him, my pussy twitching around my fingers as I think about how his dick would feel inside of me; raw or protected I don’t care, I wonder how good he’d feel inside of me with his thick length, if he’d let me cum immediately or if he’d dominate me and use me to his liking; controlling whether or not I’m allowed to cum as I squirm under him.

I finally decide to let my horny thoughts get a hold of me. “I want you.. but I still can’t seem to..”

“You have me, princess. What’s on your mind?” He says, looking into my eyes with concern, noticing how needy I’m getting. He probably noticed how I was twitching around my fingers and lost in my thoughts. “I’m wondering how.. how your..” I try to get my words out but they’re tied back against my throat. “How my what?” He teases, clearly enjoying this side of me. “Tell me or I won’t give it to you, yeah?”

I nod, “I’m wondering how your dick would feel inside of me.. e-every inch and the thickness of it stretching me open.. how you’d treat me differently while I’m under you or on top.” I look away after finally spilling my words out, feeling my cheeks get hot. There’s so much more I want to say but it would take hours.

“Do you wanna stop wondering and try it out? Id be lying if I said I wasn’t wondering similar things about your pretty little pussy.. wonder how tight you are and how your face contorts as you make a pretty mess all over my dick.” He teases, reaching over into my lap to stroke his fingers over my clitoris, making me squirm with need.

“Please Chan.. Please Chris..” I beg him, using both of his names. “Good girl. Protection or no protection?” He asks, wanting to know my preference or if I want him to fill me up with his hot seed or not.

“As much as I want to risk it.. I don’t wanna accidentally you know, get impregnated and regret it once I’m not extremely fucking horny.”

“Mm that’s okay.. hopefully one day you’ll let me pump that cunt of yours up full of my cum, hm?” Chan smirks, enjoying making me into a soaking wet needy mess with his words.

He lifts his shirt over his head exposing his bare muscular body as he climbs on top of me. “Be a good girl and take your bra off for me, let me see those tits..” “yes da-“ I pause, realising what almost came out of my mouth. “Daddy huh? Fuck that made me so turned on.” He groans, reaching into his bag and finding a condom before rolling it onto his dick. While he does that I obey his order and unclip my bra, my breasts now being on display.

He licks his lips at the site of me now laying under him completely naked and vulnerable, dripping and ready for his cock. Chan positions himself at my entrance and pushes in, making me let out a moan of pleasure.

“Chris oh my god..!” I cry out, savouring the feeling of how his cock fills up my dripping needy cunt perfectly, slowly calming the urges inside of me but slowly making me want more. “Shh you’re okay.. just focus on how good I feel inside this pretty pussy, okay?”

“M-mhm..” a whimper leaves my mouth before feeling Chan press his lips against mine, his tongue parting my lips and our tongues now dancing and tangling together as his hands slowly creep their way down to my breasts massaging and playing with them making me squirm under him with even more need pulsing through my body as a result of his actions. “So fucking tight just for me..” he murmurs Into the kiss, beginning to plunge his dick in and out of my hole harder and faster. “Y-yes only for you daddy… I’m all yours ” I moan, parting away from the kiss to look into his eyes, my brain studying every scrunch and frown of pleasure lurking upon his face.

Fuck, I imagine how he must feel pounding and ruining me raw, without protection; every vein and every pulse as more blood runs to his dick making him grow and twitch inside of me. God, how I want him to fill me up and impregnate me with his children so Fucking badly. It’s definitely not right for our first time being intimate though.

“Whatcha thinking about now baby girl?” He teases again, pumping his length deeper into my pussy, I can’t even get a solid response out of my mouth it feels so fucking good. “So loud.. you gonna cum? You gonna make a mess all around my dick?”

“A-ah.. yes.. yes.. soon!” I cry, feeling myself tighten around him as I creep up the road to reach my peak. “So loud..” he chuckles, connecting his lips to my breast sucking gently on my nipple as I let loose a soft scream that turns into a loud moan as I feel him pound his length deeper Into me.

My back arching slightly from the pressure, tears starting to well up in my eyes as a loud string of moans leave my lips.

“Come for me baby~ Come for daddy~”

And so I did, screaming and crying louder than I ever had before, clenching him tighter, cumming around his cock. HARD.

Not long after I feel Chan reach his too, filling up the condom, making me feel a little bubble inside of me before pulling out, tying it up and properly disposing of it. “You sound so pretty when you cum baby? May I eat you out? Show you I can make you cum in more ways than one?” He chuckles, clearly amused with himself at the mess he’s created

“Please..” I pout, the thought of his plush soft lips against my clit and his tongue thrusting in and out of my needy little hole making me go feral.

“Only for you.” he smirks. I shivering as he slowly makes his way down to my cunt, licking and trailing his tongue down from my breasts until he reaches his desired destination. He grips his hands around my thighs, gently prying them open before attaching his lips to my now swollen clitoris flicking it with his tongue as his beady brown eyes look up at me and watch while I throw my head back in pleasure. “C-Chris..! Ah..”

“You taste just as good as you look..” Chan groans into my pussy, making me whimper even more this time due to the vibrations of his voice flowing through me and my pussy. “Fuck! You’re ruining me..!~” I sob out in pleasure, my hand reaching down to push his face deeper into my folds, needing more of his mouth, which only causes him to start moving his tongue and lips faster.

“Chris!! Don’t do that ill-“ I try to warn him but it’s too late, I’ve already made a mess of myself all over his face.

“Well at least you’re not complaining are you?” God, even his way of words makes me so horny.

I shake my head. “Good girl. My good girl.” He grins, moving his head up from my crotch to my face, forcing his lips on mine making me taste myself. “Mmph!?-“ I gasp against his lips as he pushes two fingers inside of me, bending them and moving them back and forth against that sweet spot inside of me.

“You like that baby girl? Tell me what you like about my hands.. since you stare at them so often you must have some naughty thoughts about them, yeah?” Chan pulls away from the kiss, a string of saliva still connecting our lips as he waits for my response.

“Y-yes.. I.. i Imagine your fingers in me as I touch myself, but f-fuck they’re so much better and faster than mine.” I connect my lips back to his, our tongues beginning to swirl and twirl again. “Get on your knees for me.” He demands me, I let out a whine of disappointment as he pulls his fingers out of my pussy. “Mhm..” I smile, getting down on my knees and looking up at him. “I ate your pretty little pussy so now it’s time for you to wrap that mouth around me.,”

“Yes”

“Yes what?”

“Yes daddy.”

“Such a good girl you are, already knowing your place” he praises. I wrap my mouth around his already dripping cock and start taking him Into my mouth, sucking him. The flavour of his precum hitting my taste buds making me feel special, making me feel that I’m maybe definitely more than a friend to him.

“You wanna take me deeper? Think you can do it?” I nod, my mouth filled with his dick, I take him deeper and deeper, slowly beginning to deep throat him. Accidentally gaging around his length in the process.

“Your throats so tight baby. Im Gonna cum soon fucking swallow every drop of me.” I look up at him, he’s biting his lip as he spills his seed down my throat, I swallow it all, hungry for every bit of his cock, I whine slightly as he pulls out of my mouth, a tiny bit of his semen still dripping down my chin, I lick it up greedily.

“Good girl. Did you get what you wanted? Happy you could finally cum?”

I nod, now laying down with him and snuggling my head against his chest like a lost kitten.

“If you ever need help again don’t hesitate to call me baby girl.”

“Same for you Chris.”

[natstulip]

Good girl ♡ ︎𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒

I’ve never really written smut before so I hope it’s okay!🤍

:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:

Imagine agreeing to let Wanda and Nat use you however and whenever they wish. No you’re not in a relationship, but you help to keep their own relationship interesting- as they like to say.

Both women had been out on a mission for a few weeks, with a lot of the team. You, not being an avenger, of course missed the company, the compound being fairly empty and so as a result really quiet. In fact, the team were due back yesterday from the mission, but fury let us know they’d been delayed so would likely get back soon.

——-

I was laying in bed, mindlessly scrolling on my phone as I watched whatever happened to be on the television. Although that didn’t take me long to get bored, it’s how I’d spent basically all my time since being left all alone. I pick up my phone deciding to listen some music, and I grab my headphones because come on, music is way better when it feels like it’s taking over your brain.

I’m dancing away and singing too, with my eyes closed getting really into it. I only stop when I feel a tap on my back. “AGHH” I can’t help the scream I let out, as I rip my headphones off and spin around with a fighting stance ready.

When I realise it’s in fact Wanda and Nat and they’re back from their mission, I feel my face burn in embarrassment. The massive smirk on Nat’s face speaks for itself, as she mumbles “I wasn’t expecting a welcome back show but I have to say I really enjoyed it.”

I blush a deep shade of red at her teasing, only giving a little smile of my own when I see Wanda smack Nat’s arm saying “Hey, leave her alone.”

Nat huffs “Why should I? Look at her cute red face.”

I’m avoiding all eye contact whatsoever right now, not wanting to make a fool of myself any more than I clearly already have.

Wanda chuckles in response to Nat’s words “She’s totally adorable, you’re right about that.”

I don’t even know what to do with myself when they’re practically talking about me as if I’m not standing right here.

Wanda interrupts my inner battle, “Come here baby, I want a hug.” I look up excited, I’ve really missed her touch, and I see her arms opened wide. I rush into her, making her laugh, as she wraps her arms tight around me. I nuzzle my face into her neck, always feeling more at ease from her comforting smell. She rubs my back and mumbles against my head “I’ve missed you so much my sweet girl.” I move my head so I can reach her face, giving her a quick peck on the lips, with a shy look on my face “I missed you lots mommy.”

I hear a cough behind us, “What about daddy, huh?” I’m spun around rather quickly, and Nat’s finger is under my chin. I murmur “I missed you too daddy, a lot.” She hums what seems to be an approval to my words, seemingly waiting for something. I’m not as bold with anything when it comes to Natasha. I’ll kiss Wanda sometimes by me initiating because she’s so comforting but Nat scares me a little. She stares at me until I cave, and hesitantly lean towards her, with a burning face, and kiss her lips quickly.

After an anxious pause, I get a “good girl” from her making me give a goofy smile, and I feel Wanda stroking my hair softly. “Our good good little girl, you going to let us take care of you tonight?” I look at her with wide eyes, causing them both to give each other a smile.

Natasha set herself down on the desk chair in my room, patting her lap while uttering “Sit baby.” I know better than to argue with her so I instantly walk over and make a move to straddle her lap. I don’t get very far because she places a hand on my chest and then does a ‘spin motion’ with her finger, telling me to turn around. Even though I’m a little confused, I turn and face Wanda. I feel Nat grab my hips from behind and pull me to sit, facing away from her. She rests her head on my shoulder, and Wanda crouched down in front of us.

I feel her hands on my legs, and Nat start to kiss my neck, making me instantly feel hot and flustered. I feel like my body stiffens since it’s been so long since I let them have all control.

“Baby, hey, look at mommy.” I move my gaze slowly to Wanda. “We’re here now, you don’t have to let your thoughts take over.” Natasha interrupts her to say “We’ll fuck the thoughts out of you baby, until all you can think about is mommy and daddy, yeah?”

Before I even have time to think about responding, Nat has spread my legs open wide, keeping her legs locked with mine- so I can’t move. It takes my breath away, not expecting her to be so upfront about it, as usually Wanda starts off more gentle, “What daddy let me go..”

Wanda cups my face to direct my eyes to hers, “shhh shhh, you’re okay, let daddy do what she pleases.” She makes no move to let go of my face, and I hope she doesn’t because her comforting touch really helps me through everything.

When I feel more kisses on my neck, and a rougher hand move down my stomach, I let out a gasp and grip onto Wanda’s arm. “Mommy’s staying right here baby, daddy’s gonna make you feel good, hm?”

At the same time as Wanda pulls me in for a kiss, Nat’s hand moves into my shorts, making me gasp. She cups me for a moment, not moving her hand, seemingly waiting for me to start squirming. Eventually she slowly runs the tip of her finger over my folds, just teasingly stroking there for what feels like a very long time, making me shiver.

I feel the soft breath of a chuckle on my neck, “You’re so sensitive huh my baby? I wonder if you could cum from just daddy barely touching you, and mommy kissing those pretty lips. We’ll have to try it sometime, because right now.. we’re trying something new” She raises her eyebrows at Wanda, who swiftly grabs something I assume with her magic, and holds it behind her back.

She moves back to stand in front of me, kissing my forehead, as she hands whatever she grabbed to Nat. I can’t see Nat’s face but I can picture her smirk while Wanda gives her a kiss, before returning to her position earlier, cupping my cheeks.

“Look at mommy.” I listen and look up at her. “We haven’t done what we’re gonna do now before. I’m sure you’ll like it darling but remember call ‘red’ if it’s too much or you want to stop at any point, okay?” I give her a nod, “Okay mommy, I understand.” I watch a smile arise on her face as she strokes my cheek, “My good girl.”

I feel a rush of cold air as Nat pulls the front of my shorts and underwear open for a brief moment, as she shoves something in there, to rest against my clit. “What’s that daddy?” Just as I ask the question it starts vibrating against me, making me let out a breath. She whispers against my ear, “It’s a vibrator baby, it’s gonna make you feel all better while daddy holds you open; and because you’ve been our good little girl we’re going to let you cum as much as you want.”

The first time she pushed me over the edge was nice, with Wanda stroking my face and a pleasurable vibration against me. Though it didn’t take long to get uncomfortable, when Nat said they were going to let me cum as much as I want, she definitely meant as much as they want, never seeming to let me stop and breathe. Every time I reach that point she just ups the vibrations and makes me go again.

I’ve lost count by this point how many times she’s made me cum, resorting to wriggling and kicking my legs and trying to pry her off with my hands; but that was silly as they’re much stronger than me. Nat simply shut me down by grabbing hold of my thighs with her hands and legs now- keeping me pinned to her lap. “Please daddy.. dadddy ‘s too much please…”

She presses a kiss to my shoulder mumbling “Just one more baby, one more, and then we’re done.” With Wanda gently wiping my tears, I can’t help the loud moan I let out as I reach my last climax. My legs are uncontrollably shaking, as Nat carefully removes the vibrator.

Wanda makes a move to pick me up into her arms, “I’ve got you my sweet girl,” as Nat makes her way to the bathroom to get a towel to clean me up with.

I’m laying down, on top of Wanda, while Nat gently cleans me up, and after only a few minutes I’m falling asleep against her chest, with only mommy and daddy on my mind.

[hgfictionwriter]

Discovery: Part Two

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Jessie's nervous about a date at your apartment. Despite enjoying the evening and a chance to talk, she's left with lingering doubts about how to handle your evolving relationship.

Warnings: G!P content. Body image issues or even dysphoria; mental and emotional anxiety; internal conflicts; themes of self-acceptance. Reluctant gaslighting??

A/N: Thank you all for the interest in this piece. Still heavy on the angst here. Things will move more significantly in the next chapter. First chapter is here.

"Hey, for Saturday I was thinking of making us reservations at that new place on Greenwood. What do you think?"

"That sounds nice. But I was thinking maybe you could just come over instead. I'll make us dinner. We've been going out a lot and while it's fun to check out new places and it's sweet of you to plan all these dates, I miss our chill nights in."

A pit formed in Jessie's stomach upon reading your message. It was inevitable, really. You two couldn't have an entire relationship outside of your apartments. In fact, this whole going out every week thing was draining for her, but it was the lesser evil compared to hanging out at either of your places and what would, eventually, follow.

She ran a hand through her hair with a sigh.

"Yeah, sure. That's fine." She paused, staring at the message before exhaling in frustration. What a lackluster response. She deleted it.

What you were offering was legitimately what she wanted. She had the most fun when it was just you two, relaxed and in the comfort of your own homes. Just, now, there would be nothing relaxing about it. It would be coded with all sort of hints and allusions to something more now that you were dating. That tentative dance of will you, won't you, and when.

"That sounds great. What do you want me to bring?"

"Just yourself 😉"

Her shoulders slumped with a sigh. She should be excited. Instead, her mind ran rampant with thoughts and scenarios, each one more concerning than the last.

Through the rest of the week, she couldn't quite shake that weight in the pit of her stomach. Sometimes she forgot about it, but as soon as she had space to think or rest, worry came rushing back.

"Still want me to come over?"

Jessie hit send though she was standing at her bike already, helmet on and ready to go. And it's not like she wanted you to cancel. She really wanted to see you, but she was so torn.

"Yes lol. Of course I do. Been looking forward to it all week!"

Her chest panged and another text came through.

"Do you want to do something else?"

Now she really felt bad.

"No, no. Just checking. Just about to hop on my bike. I'll be over soon, then 😊"

"Sounds good. Ride safe."

Jessie's heart was racing as she shifted anxiously from one foot to the next as she rode the elevator up to your apartment. She looked down at the bouquet of flowers she picked up along the way and shook out a hand as she let her head fall back and she stared vacantly up at the ceiling.

"Calm down," she said to herself.

Soon, she stood tentatively in front of your door, hand poised to knock. She stood there frozen for a second before she brought her knuckles to the door. She fidgeted with the straps of her helmet and the paper around the bouquet as she waited.

A few seconds later the door opened to reveal your smiling face. Despite how she was feeling a second ago, the veil of worry that weighed on her dissipated upon seeing you. She couldn't help but smile back.

"Come in," you said cheerfully as you waved her inside before your eyes fell to the flowers. Distracted by seeing you, Jessie momentarily forgot about them and glanced down to follow your gaze.

"Oh," she voiced in belated realization before she smiled brightly and held them out. "For you."

You gave a wide smile and took them from her, smelling them and smiling once more before wrapping her up in a hug.

Her grip around you was slack to begin with, but when you held her tightly she found herself reciprocating. Her chest tightened as she held you close; she really missed you and it was a relief to hold you in her arms again. She felt herself relaxing a touch.

When you pulled your head away from her, you two locked eyes.

"I missed you," you said. Jessie felt a small blush forming and she gave you a coy smile.

"I missed you, too."

Her eyes closed as you gently closed in and soon your lips were on hers. It was chaste and sweet, but it sent a shiver down her spine and she couldn't help smiling into the kiss. Her heart warmed as she opened her eyes to see you smiling affectionately at her as your hand came to her cheek and gave her other a peck.

"Okay, let's get inside. And thank you for these, they're beautiful," you said as you ushered her in and closed the door. "Gosh. It feels like you haven't been over in ages. I guess you haven't - not since we started dating."

"Yeah," Jessie agreed with a faint laugh as she scratched the back of her head, nervousness starting to creep back in. She tried to remain relaxed as you stood close to her.

"Make yourself at home. Dinner should be ready soon."

Jessie followed you with her eyes as you returned to the kitchen and found a home for the flowers. She was lost in her thoughts before shaking her head out.

"Can I help with anything?"

You looked around briefly with the cutest frown on your face before giving a shrug.

"I guess you can get some plates and cutlery out."

She did so, carefully laying everything out before returning to the kitchen and standing awkwardly waiting for further instructions.

"Go sit down," you laughed as you shooed her away.

"No, let me help you," she insisted, a smile finding its way onto her lips, your mannerisms infectious.

You placed your hands on your hips and cocked your head at her. "Fine. Go get me these things," you unlocked your phone and handed it to her with a recipe on screen. You nodded to the pantry cupboard. "The shaker's in there. I saw this on a mixology account I follow and wanted to make us some tonight."

"Oh," Jessie voiced as she looked at the drink recipe. "Tequila?"

"Don't tell me you're scared of a shot of tequila," you teased lightly. "I thought some of you varsity athletes partied hard - especially in LA."

"Yeah, some," she emphasized as she scanned the cupboard for the items.

"You don't have to drink anything if you don't want to," you added. She gave you a fleeting look over her shoulder before returning with the supplies.

"It's fine," she said. "I'll try it."

It's not that she never drank, she enjoyed a relaxing beverage as much as the next person, but alcohol seemed like a dangerous thing given her current circumstances. However, perhaps it would take the edge off.

She started measuring out ingredients into the shaker and sealed it before shaking it all together. You looked back and gave her a not-so-subtle look of appreciation as your eyes fell to her biceps. You even reached out and gave her nearest arm a brief squeeze.

"Oh," you said with a quick raise of your eyebrows, a hint of a smile at the corner of your mouth before you turned away. Jessie blushed under your attention.

"For you," she announced after she poured out the drinks and handed you your glass.

She smiled softly as you cheers each other and took a sip. You both immediately winced and she started coughing at the overwhelming taste of alcohol.

"Shit," Jessie coughed, her eyes started to water.

You burst into laughter, but took another tentative sip.

"They are not joking with these drinks. Either that or you're heavy handed," you teased.

"I measured!" She insisted.

The drink certainly took the edge off for Jessie. By the time you were done dinner and settled into watching a movie together, her body was void of tension and her head still felt a bit light.

It wasn't long before fleeting pangs of concern started to edge in though. You two had watched shows and hung out on the couch together before, that wasn't the big deal, but as Jessie became acutely aware of your hand brushing up against hers, she found herself fidgeting lightly. She cleared her throat.

She tried to view you out of the corner of her eye and got the sense you were doing the same. Eventually, you took charge and slipped your fingers between hers, giving her hand a light squeeze. She turned and gave you a tight smile that caused your cheeks to grow flush.

While you'd both been quietly watching the movie, now you started to talk - making comments about the movie or other things. She responded softly as you chatted, cluing in that you were nervous and trying to distract to some degree. Soon, your clasped hands were resting on Jessie's thigh as you leaned into her, eventually resting your head on her shoulder.

Her heart started to pound with increasing intensity in her chest. She cursed inwardly. This shouldn't be a big fucking deal. She wanted to cuddle with you. She wanted to put her arm around you and pull you close. But it was the possibility of what would follow that had her wary.

She completely lost track of the movie, fully preoccupied with what to do. She was so conflicted. You drew small circles on her thigh and at one point laid a soft kiss on her shoulder. She cast her worries aside and lifted her arm to wrap around your shoulders. A rush of affection went through her as she caught the smile on your face as you cuddled in.

If she hadn't forgotten about the movie earlier, it was certainly forgotten now as you grew more handsy. Jessie tried to not appear affected, but her body was so tense in apprehension; she just didn't know how to relax.

When your lips suddenly made soft, sweet contact with her neck. Her free hand dug into the underside of her leg as she fought to remain indifferent. Your lips were sensual and teasing, your breath hot on her neck and she could feel sensations building within her and threatening to spill over. When your tongue grazed the sensitive skin of her neck she instinctively jerked away, fully breaking away from the embrace. She'd done it before she even realized it. An apologetic frown etched onto her face already before even seeing you.

That pit in her stomach hit deeper than ever when she saw the hurt and embarrassed look on your face, even if it was just for a second before you quickly masked it.

"Sorry," you said with a forced smile and a breathy laugh.

"No, I-" Jessie stammered, struggling to find her words. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess and she could just picture the pathetic look she was giving you. You forced another chuckle and tucked your hair behind your ear self-consciously.

"No, no. I'm sorry. Must be that heavy pour," you faintly joked, forcing a fleeting look. You straightened your posture and seemed to recenter yourself. You looked to her, earnest. "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have pushed. I think I just-" you paused, collecting your thoughts, "I think I just thought you were being, I don't know, really...chivalrous? Or just shy. I don't know." Your face fell briefly before offering her a brave, half-hearted smile. "You clearly want to take it slow, and I should respect that. I do respect that."

Jessie turned to you, shifting on the couch to face you more fully.

"Hey, don't apologize. Seriously. It's completely okay," she assured you. You looked far from comforted, so she reached out and took your hands. Your grip was nearly non-existent until she gave you a squeeze and you mustered up a soft smile and squeezed back.

"Y-yeah, I do want to take things slow, and it doesn't help that I'm super awkward and shy," she said self-deprecatingly. "But please don't feel bad. I'm just...I'm awkward."

You made a slight face at her.

"I made you uncomfortable," you countered.

"I liked it," Jessie said, and it was absolutely true. "I just," she looked away briefly as she found her words, "I just want you to know that I'm interested in more than just physical with you." That wasn't a lie either.

You frowned deeply and your mouth quirked up in a smirk. "I think I sorted that out," you said somewhat flatly. You seemed to contemplate your words, choosing to move forward. "You know. After going on five dates and having barely kissed."

Jessie could feel her face start to heat up and her mouth felt dry. While she struggled to figure out what to say, you scratched at the back of your neck and spoke further.

"I don't know. Maybe it's in my head. You seem less comfortable with me now than before we started dating." You relaxed your shoulders, taking a breath as you sat straight and gave her an earnest smile. "I really like you, Jessie. And I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, at all, so. If there's something I'm doing that's making you feel like that - you know, other than trying to make out with you unprompted-" you rolled your eyes, "please tell me. I don't want to push you away."

Jessie's jaw was clenched hard and she didn't realize her fingers were digging into her palms. She hated that she was making you feel this way and making you doubt yourself, and her.

"Y/N," she said your name imploringly, "I really like you, too. Please believe me. I really, really do." She searched your eyes, hating the hurt and uncertainty she'd sparked in you. Her shoulders fell and she thumbed the back of your hands softly. "I haven't dated in a long time. I don't really know what I'm doing. And I think I'm just in my head. I don't want to mess things up with you."

Your gaze softened and you gave her hands a light squeeze.

"You're not messing anything up. And, it's good that we're talking this through. I think that's really good and I'm grateful for it," you told her and she nodded readily.

"Hey," she said softly as she shuffled in closer to you. "I really like you. Please don't doubt that. Even if I'm being stupid. Thank you for being patient with me."

You gave a faint frown. "You don't need to thank me. Nor are you stupid."

"Mm, I'm kind of dumb," she said as she gave you a comical expression. You chuckled, but frowned further. She smiled at you. "I have this gorgeous, incredible girlfriend and I'm getting so stuck in my head that I'm making her think I don't feel the same way about her as she does about me."

You rolled your eyes briefly, but looked at her in thanks nonetheless.

"You're not dumb."

"Mm," she voiced further as she slowly leaned in. She whispered, "I kind of am," before her lips met yours in a soft, lingering kiss. Though you reciprocated, it was passive. Tentative.

Jessie kissed you anew, deepening it. Something she hadn't initiated before. Your reaction was delayed. She could almost feel the confusion and hesitation, but she stayed the course. Her hand came up to the side of your face, her thumb caressing your cheekbone and she kissed you more. You met her briefly, but paused, your hand coming up to her cheek, your forehead resting against hers as you broke the kiss.

"Wait - we don't have to do this," you said, opening your eyes and looking at her.

"I want to," she assured you as she kissed you again. And she did want it. And she didn't want her fear and apprehension to control her.

This time, you returned her kiss fully. Whereas all of the kisses between you two had been relatively tame and mild, now, with Jessie opening up just so, things were heating up quickly.

Kisses deepened and grew hungrier, breathing was heavier; soft, subtle moans starting, and hands began to wander.

Jessie was immersed in the moment, in you, before a tightening sensation in her pants brought reality crashing back down upon her.

Her eyes shot open and she became keenly aware of your hand drifting up her thigh. She cleared her throat and did her best to gently pull back without it seeming too abrupt. She forced a smile as your eyes belatedly drifted open and you blinked at her, confusion settling on your brow. She shifted away, positioning her body as best she could to conceal the bulge that was threatening to reveal itself.

"That was really nice," she said, trying to somehow feign that the make out session had reached its natural end.

"Um, yeah," you said slowly, a subtle frown still on your face and Jessie could see your mind trying to process what happened. You eventually offered a smile of your own. "Yeah. That was nice," you reciprocated. Your eyes studied her.

"Do you want something to drink?" Jessie asked as she got up from the couch and turned her back to you, already retreating to the kitchen. She released an inaudible sigh of relief as she rounded the counter and out of your view. She opened your fridge and glanced down. She ground her teeth together upon seeing the bulge in her pants.

"Fuck," she mouthed, upset with herself.

She peeked up over the fridge door to look at you again. You were looking vacantly at the wall before you realized she was watching you. Your expression immediately brightened and you gave a small shake of your head.

"I'm okay, thank you."

Guilt washed over her again.

The night wore on and though you both cuddled and it was less awkward than before, there were still hints of unspoken tension. That aside, it was a nice evening and Jessie was glad to have this alone time with you. It was just different than being out together.

At some point, you were both stifling yawns. She was keenly aware of the time and knew another key point in the night was fast approaching.

"If I'm exhausted, I can't imagine how tired you must be," you said as you covered your mouth as another yawn forced itself up. "You just got back into town on Monday, training all week, game yesterday and now today."

"I'm good," Jessie dismissed, despite the yawn yours pulled out of her. "But I should probably go."

You watched her quietly for a moment, before giving a nonchalant shrug.

"It's really late. I don't want you to have to bike home at this hour. Why don't you just spend the night?"

Jessie was shaking her head already and stood up by the time you were even done speaking. She waved off your offer.

"It's totally fine," she assured you.

"Babe," you beseeched, giving her pause. It still caused a small flutter in her chest when you called her that. She faltered, rubbing the side of her face briefly. You rose. "I can sleep on the couch," you offered and she shot you a withering look.

"Babe," she reciprocated. "You would never sleep on the couch on my watch. I would take the couch."

You didn't respond immediately and Jessie felt like you were going to say something else, instead saying, "Well, offer still stands. I really would rather you not go home this late."

She was tempted. God, she was so tempted. Again, it ate her up that you were paying for all of the baggage she now carried. In another time, she would've gladly taken you up on the offer. Hell, you two probably would've slept together by now - assuming you wanted to. She'd certainly dreamt of it enough and you seemed keen to move things forward. Instead...

"Thanks baby. But it's okay. Really. I'll text you when I get home." She tried to ignore the expression that flashed across your face before you gave a small smile of resignation.

"Be safe," you warned.

She put on her shoes, grabbed her helmet and jacket, but was fully distracted with how quiet you'd become. She put on a bright smile for you.

"Thank you for an amazing night," she said as she wrapped your arms around your waist. You reciprocated, wrapping your arms around the back of her neck, but you hesitated for just a moment. It was subtle, but Jessie noticed it. She gave you a kiss in hopes of bridging whatever thoughts you were having.

"Thanks for being okay just staying in. I enjoyed it," you said once you pulled back. Your gaze flicked away and a faint smirk crossed your face. You looked back to her, your cheeks growing rosy. "I swear I didn't invite you over just to try to make out with you or to try to convince you to spend the night." You shrugged. "I just like spending time just the two of us at home. It's more relaxed." Jessie nodded.

"I know. Me too," she agreed. Her tactic of booking dates around town had expired; she'd have to let it go. She gave you an encouraging smile. "We can do this more often."

"Okay," you accepted with a nod. You gave her another quick kiss. "Well, you better go."

"Okay," she said. She started to thumb the small of your back and stopped immediately. "Goodnight." She stepped out of your embrace and opened the door, taking a step out into the hall before pausing and turning back. "Raincheck on spending the night?"

Your smile reached your eyes this time. You nodded. "Of course."

A/N: Forgot a couple of folks asked to be tagged. @multifandomlesbianic @marvelwomen-simp

[mariasont]

maria omfg just read be so stupid and the part where u said about listen to spencers heartbeat and i am crazy for this type of intimacy 😫 can u make something with pre relationship spencer feeling his heartbeat i dont know their hearts syncing. really anything with that intimacy!!!! im in love with your writing keep posting cz im eating all up 💝💓💞🩷 kisses

Thump, Thump - S.R.

a/n: hi sug!!!!!!! love love love your beautiful mind!!! pre relationship where there is so much feelings and pining UGH! love! thank you sm for requesting <3

masterlist

pairings: spencer reid x reader

warnings: pre relationship cuties, pining, all the things!

wc: 1.1k

It was so quiet even the sound of a pin dropping might be deafening. In fact, it was so quiet that it felt as though Spencer could've read your mind if he tried hard enough. If he could read you mind, he would unfortunately be privy to your annoying inner monologue screaming:

"How could I be so stupid? I've managed to trap us in a tiny, cramped closet that's barely 9 square feet. How on earth did this even happen?"

Or something along those lines.

You had been investigating a crime scene, and somehow, you both ended up crammed into this confined space—so close that you could feel his surprisingly soft, springy hair, which had grown to shoulder length, brushing against your forehead. The closeness was almost suffocating, and you could hear his breathing, which only heightened your awareness of your predicament.

You find yourself in an incredibly awkward position, pressed against his chest, with your arms pinned at your sides as if you're afraid to make a move. Any lower and you risk an EEO report, but any higher and you'll be holding on to his chest, which somehow felt even more intimate.

"Do you think they're close?" you whispered, not knowing why you felt the need to lower your voice.

It almost seemed rude to speak at a normal volume, as if it would be too intrusive. After all, you'd practically be yelling right in his ear.

"Well, we called them 8 minutes ago," Spencer said, his voice vibrating from his chest to yours. "If they took the normal route, they should be here in approximately 3 minutes and 45 seconds.  The average response time for our team in this area is about 12 minutes, but given the urgency, they might be a bit slower."

His hand moved to rest on your hip, and your body immediately went rigid. A jolt of electricity shot from your toes to your spine.

He sensed the tenseness in you because, well, of course he did. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," you breathed out, straining your eyes in the darkness to discern the details of his face. "Just a little claustrophobic."

That was only half true. It was more that you felt claustrophobic because you had no desire to be this close to the colleague you had been harboring an infatuation with for what felt like forever. He was intoxicating--everything about him. Especially now that you could feel his muscles flex beneath his shirt and breathe in the blend of old books and clean linen that seemed to define him.

Spencer nodded at your words, the movement of his head causing his entire body to shift. This brought him even closer, his arm instinctively wrapping around your back.

"Sorry, my arm was falling asleep," he justified, voice soft. You didn't argue, sparks detonating from the point of contact, your whole body aflame. "You know, sometimes applying gentle pressure can help reduce feelings of claustrophobia. It might seem counterintuitive, but it works."

"Well, I don't think we can get much closer than this," you chuckled nervously.

Spencer, without missing a beat, placed his hand gently around your neck and drew you into his chest. You didn't resist, didn't put up a fight. Your heart pounded, and with your ear now pressed against his body, you could heart his heart. The steady thumps were so clear, you could almost hear the blood coursing through its veins.

You softened into his touch, your hands moving slowly to wrap around his neck, unable to draw away from the continuous pulsing of his central organ. You were sick in the head, that was for sure, but the rest of your body didn't seem to care about your head's woes; it was all too keen to liquefy into his body.

You could likely die here—if the team never got here, and this is how you were to go—locked in a child's closet with the man of your dreams; you thought you might be okay with that.

But fate had different plans, which might have been a good thing; you might have been thinking a little rashly. You blamed it on the lack of oxygen flow. Spencer would tell you that the limited airflow in such small spaces means we're breathing in more carbon dioxide than usual, which can affect cognitive functions and make us feel dizzy and disoriented.

Dizzy and disoriented. Check and check. Now, whether that was due to the lack of airflow was a different story.

Without warning, Spencer's hand moved from your hip to your neck, settling between the nook where your jaw meets your throat. You froze in the spot, lips parted slightly as you watched his mouth move. Was he counting?

You realized he was when he let out a disappointed huff. His hand didn't move from your neck.

"Your heart rate is still pretty high," he observed. "Maybe we should try something else—"

"No, no, it's okay. I think it's working."

You didn't want to lose this closeness, and you weren't too eager for him to find out your heart rate was spiked by something other than the small space you were restricted to.

He hummed in response. You weren't sure if he believed you or not, but he dragged his hand back to your hip.

Thump, thump, thump.

You thought maybe you should tell him how you feel, that perhaps now was a better time than any—that the way your body froze around him was anything but friendly and that the feeling in your—

"Well, it looks like you two managed to stay calm."

Your head snapped up to see the team standing there, gaping at you like you were a couple of zoo animals. If they had given you 5 to 10 more minutes alone, you might have been.

You jumped away immediately, face burning as you raked a hand through your hair, glaring holes into Morgan's skull. On the other hand, Spencer looked slightly smug, a small smile tugging at his perfect lips.

"We were just... waiting," you protested, ignoring the look of disbelief from your unit chief.

Morgan chuckled, shaking his head. "Sure, whatever you say, hot stuff."

As you stepped out of the closet, your eyes lingered back to Spencer, your heart still racing. Your eyes met, and the world seemed to freeze for a moment. Maybe you'd tell him how you felt the next time.

"So, pretty boy, you think you'd be that snug with me if we were the ones trapped in there?"

taglist: @readergf @edencherries @aurorsworld @princess76179 @malindacath @broadwaytraaaaash @r-3dlips @m-indkiller @sunfyyre @sleepysongbirdsings @trulycayla @reiderrambles @averyhotchner @hbwrelic @sky2nd @messylxve @alexxavicry @doigettokeepyou @pleasantwitchgarden @kodzukenmaaa @hiireadstuff @dilflover-3 @spenciesslut @phoenix-le-danseur-de-pole @c-losur3 @theylovemelody @alahnizamolo

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[starsenha]

UNDERSTANDING / P.J

Pairing ◊ fem!reader x bf!jay

Genre ◊ fluff, established relationship

Warnings ◊ talk about bad mental health, just jay being a sweetheart I'm sobbing

Word count ◊ 1k

Summary ◊ you were so greateful to have a such understanding boyfriend by your side.

a/n: felt really mentally bad a few days ago so this bloomed in my mind hehe, enjoy!

You had been looking forward to your date with Jay all week. The plan was simple: a walk around the park, grabbing some ice cream, and maybe catching a movie later. But when the morning came, you woke up feeling… off. It wasn’t like you hadn’t felt this way before—this heavy, gray feeling that made everything seem distant—but it was the last thing you wanted on a day like today.

You stared at your phone, fingers hovering over the screen. It felt wrong to cancel, especially since you and Jay had been planning this. But at the same time, the thought of putting on a happy face, of pretending you were okay when you weren’t, felt exhausting. Jay knew about your struggles with mental health; you had talked about it before. But still, there was always that small voice in your head whispering that you were being a burden.

With a deep breath, you finally typed out the message.

[you] Hey, would it be okay if we postponed the date today?

You hit send before you could overthink it, your heart racing as you waited for his response. Within a minute, your phone buzzed.

[Songie 💙] Of course, baby! Are you okay?

You hesitated for a moment, your fingers tracing the edge of your phone as you tried to find the right words. You didn’t want to lie, but you also didn’t want to dump all your emotions on him. Finally, you decided to just be honest.

[you] I’m not really feeling like myself today. Kind of out of it, and I don’t want to bring any negativity to our date. I don’t want to bother you.

The response came quickly, like he was waiting for your message.

[Songie 💙] Hey, you are NEVER a bother. I mean that. I’d be happy to spend time with you, even if you’re not feeling okay.

A lump formed in your throat, and you blinked back the sudden sting of tears. You knew Jay cared, but sometimes it still caught you off guard how understanding he was.

Before you could reply, another message came through.

[Songie 💙] Actually… can I come over? I really want to see you, even if we don’t do anything. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I just want to be there with you.

You smiled softly at his words, though you were still unsure. The idea of just… being with someone without having to pretend to be fine sounded comforting, but you didn’t want him to feel like he had to take care of you.

[you] Are you sure? I’m really not in the mood to talk much. I was just going to stay in and watch my comfort show.

You didn’t have to explain what your comfort show was. Jay knew. It was the one you always turned to when you were feeling down, something familiar and soothing.

[Songie 💙] Of course I’m sure. I’ll be happy just to see your pretty little face.

A small laugh escaped your lips despite yourself. Jay always knew how to make you feel a little lighter, even when everything else felt heavy.

[Songie 💙] I’ll come over in a bit. Want me to pick up something for you? I can grab your favorite from that fast food place you love. I know you probably haven’t eaten.

That hit deeper than you expected. He knew. He always seemed to know when you were struggling, even when you hadn’t said much. The thought of food hadn’t even crossed your mind until he mentioned it, and now that he did, you realized how hungry you were. But more than that, it was the fact that he was offering to take care of you in such a simple, thoughtful way that made your chest tighten with emotion.

[you] Okay. That sounds nice. Thanks, songie.

Jay: Don’t mention it. I’ll be there soon.

You put your phone down and leaned back against the couch, feeling a little less tense now that you didn’t have to worry about the date. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to spend time with Jay—it was the opposite. You just didn’t want to be a weight on him, to drag down what was supposed to be a fun day. But Jay… he never made you feel like that. Not once.

Twenty minutes later, there was a knock at your door. You opened it to find Jay standing there with a warm smile and a bag of food in one hand. His hair was a little messy from the wind, and he was wearing that hoodie you always said you liked on him.

"Hey, baby," he said softly, stepping inside. "I brought you your favorite."

The smell of fries and a burger filled the room, and your stomach growled. You hadn’t realized just how much you needed this. You smiled gratefully and took the bag from him.

"Thank you," you mumbled, feeling a little shy all of a sudden.

"Of course," he said, leaning down to give you a soft kiss on your forehead. "I’m just happy to see you."

You led him to the couch, where you had already set up your comfort show on the TV. Jay kicked off his shoes and settled in next to you, close enough that your legs brushed against each other, but not so close that it felt overwhelming. He handed you the food, and as you unwrapped your burger, he pressed play on the show.

For a while, you sat in comfortable silence, the sounds of the familiar show filling the room. Jay didn’t push you to talk, didn’t ask you how you were feeling. He just… sat with you, sharing the space in that gentle, understanding way that only he could.

After a while, you leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer, and you felt the tension in your body start to melt away, just a little. It wasn’t that everything was suddenly okay—it wasn’t. But having Jay there, quietly watching your favorite show with you, made things feel a little more bearable.

"You know," he said quietly after a while, his voice barely above a whisper, "I’m always here for you. Even on the hard days. Especially on the hard days."

You didn’t say anything, but you reached for his hand and squeezed it, your heart full of gratitude.

He squeezed back, and that was enough. You didn’t need words right now. You had Jay, and that was more than enough.

[pickingupmymercedes]

Hi! I love your account. Sm. Like a lot. Would you be interested in writing something for lewis where he casually mentions in his gq interview that he has a longtime gf or wife. Or he recalls a memory of them introducing roscoe to her dog or cat?

Thank you so so much for the ask bestie! I drabbled something short, hope you like it ❤️.

PS: I'm still not over that interview btw, he's such a complex person and I'm so glad he's letting us see this side to him (a LVFH type of thing is something only someone like him could pull it off)

_____________________________________________________________

Lewis Hamilton’s drive to continually innovate and push the boundaries of his sport stems from a dual motivation. Firstly, he is determined to challenge and break the often conservative and traditional norms of Formula 1. Secondly, he is laying the groundwork for the latter part of his own illustrious career.

“I went through this phase of understanding that I can’t race forever,” he says, prompting him to cultivate those other passions. “Because when I stop, I’m gonna drop the mic and be happy.” “The difficult thing is I want to do everything,” he says, laughing. “I’m very ambitious. But I understand that you can’t do—actually, I take that back because I don’t believe in the word can’t. To be a master at something, there’s the 10,000 hours it takes. Obviously, I’ve done that in racing. There’s not enough time to master all of these different things.”

As our conversation progresses, Hamilton discloses that he has a kindred spirit who shares his compulsion to explore a myriad of interests. “I’m fortunate to have someone in my life who encourages me to embrace my spontaneous ideas and give them a shot. She might even be more adventurous than I am,” he chuckles. “She’s a bit of a jack-of-all-trades, and always so sure that you can dive into anything and learn as you go.” His eyes light up with admiration and affection as he speaks of her daring spirit.

The usually private Hamilton, who has been discreet about his long-term relationship, contrasts their differing approaches to life. “I need some more time to think things and really plan out how I want them to go. But she’s a jump now, ask later, so she’s most times hyping me to just try it. We balance each other. Sometimes I’m the strategist, and sometimes she’s the one taking the first bite.”

As for his future plans, apart from his endeavors in fashion and film, Hamilton prefers not to rush into anything. “She still has dreams she wants to pursue, so for now, I’m happy to be her supportive sidekick whenever I can. Perhaps in the future, when we both have more time our own family might be on the horizon, but not while I’m still racing.”

He quickly corrects himself though, referring to his bulldog, Roscoe, as his son, and introduces the adorable dachshund who frequently graces Roscoe’s Instagram posts. “My partner’s parents gifted her the little sausage dog a few years ago. Introducing them was a bit tricky as Tete is quite territorial. She wasn’t fond of me at first either, so Roscoe has a head start in winning her over. But now, Baguette gets along with everyone, and we can’t imagine our lives without her.”

Eager for more personal insights, I probe for updates on his personal life. However, when his response to my inquiry is, “Time will tell, when things happen we’ll make sure to update everyone when it feels right” I gracefully pivot to our next topic of discussion.

[jacevelaryonswife]

Hiding all of our sins from the daylight | Part Two

pairing: jacaerys velaryon x reader

summary: Even if you were willing to forget what happened, when you saw the prince that morning you knew that your relationship would never be the same.

word count: 3.191

tags: slight angst and adult themes

masterlist — previous part

A bond germinated between the prince and you as the days went by. There was no sin in your conversations, but a servant could never be friends with a nobleman, and above all: a woman could never be friends with a man. Although you believed that the existing dynamics with Jacaerys Velaryon did not fit into any of the previous options. It was your duty to be available to the prince of Dragonstone for what he wanted, and at the time, he needed a thoughtful listener.

"I don't want to fill my mother's head with my worries, even though I know she would listen. She is the queen and we are at war, it’s not time for this," was his justification.

The trust between you has developed slowly.

How are you feeling? Do you want to say something? Do you need anything?

It was the questions that guided the days following the incident with the wine. Over time, the prince began to report his dissatisfaction with the black council, either because of the way the queen didn’t let him act or how the other lords did not respect her enough.

"I just want to be useful for her cause, but she sees me as an incapable little boy," he shouted one of the times that the queen did not allow him to guard with Vermax.

"The queen cares about your safety, my prince. She suffers enough from the death of Prince Lucerys, she doesn't want to risk your life.”

“I'm not going to die!”

"You can't guarantee that, my prince."

And despite sometimes regretting not being formal enough in your answers, the prince showed satisfaction in the sincerity of your words more than once. Obviously no mention of your conversations with him was made for the other girls, you found it too dangerous.

And if there was anything beneficial for you, it was the opening that Rhaenyra Targaryen's heir gave so that your thoughts and feelings were also exposed. Superficial at first, experimental, but that became more intimate over the weeks.

"I try to keep myself constantly busy to ease my concerns about the war, but it's not working as I would like. Every night before bed I think about the worst,” you confessed a day after dinner, during the hour of the bat.

“Me too.”

The conversations became routine during breakfast while you cleaned his chambers and after dinner when you helped him sleep. Secretly, those were your favorite moments throughout the day, although you didn't want to admit it for a while.

The only problem with intimacy was to make you forget your place.

Sometimes, almost, an unweighted response was almost directed to the prince. Other times the physical comfort seemed to extrapolate while you smoothed his dark curls, although he did not manifest discomfort. He never did, actually. Maybe that influenced your behavior around him, especially when he began to reciprocate the attempt of comfort, touching your hand with nothing but respect and delicacy, although firm enough to be felt while you confessed your fears to him.

It was dangerous to allow such closeness to the prince.

You were no stranger to the stories of servants who fell in love with their lords, reciprocated or platonic, it was not something you sought to fantasize, promising yourself that you would immediately move away in the first different twinge in your heart. Although, dealing with feelings was not that simple.

That night, the prince was enthusiastic about the diplomatic experience with the Freys, telling every detail of the conversation accurately. He seemed quite proud to be useful, even the frown present in his feature in the last few days had disappeared.

“When I was a child, Viserys told me the Iron Throne would be mine one day,” Jace commented with a rare smile these days.

"He told?" You asked, knowing very well that it was true.

"A long time ago, before his health got worse, I think I was six years old," he replied on the other side of the table, keeping his smile open.

"Have you ever imagined yourself there?" A silly question, you thought.

“Sometimes, especially before war. Now I feel like I'm cheating on my mother,” his face hardened softly as he looked down.

"You are the heir of the Queen, it is not wrong to imagine your future," you tried to comfort him with the obviousness of the situation, although you understood what was going on in the prince's head and heart.

“I know, but just seems wrong,” he countered, looking at you. “How about you?”

“Me?”

"Have you never imagined yourself being the Queen?"

That made you chuckle. "There is a barrier that people like me should not overcome, even in thoughts," you almost laughing at him.

"Please, everyone has thought about sitting on the iron throne," he leaned totally against the chair, watching you with frowning eyebrows and a smile on his lips. as he totally leaned against the chair.

"I never thought such a absurd," you reinforced.

"I doubt it, have you never thought about being a noblewoman?"

"Of course I thought! I would be pleased to be the ugly daughter that no lord wants to marry, so I could enjoy my position without having only my side a decrepit old man as lord husband. But the Queen? I've never dared so much."

He laughed loudly and his eyes almost closed. "Well, I think it's a good plan, but I believe you would be a fine Queen."

That took you by surprise.

The absurdity of the statement made your eyes widen and your cheeks warm up. "And you will be a fine King," you replied with a giggle, doing little of what he had said - even you believed faithfully in your own statement.

Suddenly, you felt his gaze endure on yours in a different, more intense way, as if... he was seeing you, totally seeing you.

And that made your heart warm.

No, no!

“I must go, my prince. It's late,” you stood up immediately. "Do you need anything?"

He took a while to respond, shaking his head negatively. "N-no, I don't," getting up to accompany you to the door. "Listen, I- I have to say something to you."

Your heart was beating faster than usual and continuing in the presence of the prince did not improve the situation. You didn't know why you felt so suddenly affected, but you imagined that it was the ideal time to reassess the proximity to him.

“I would like to thank you for the support in these weeks, for listening to me,” he said.

"You don't have to thank me, my prince, it's my duty," you exhibited a restrained smile, holding your hands in front of your body.

“I know it's just-“

The previous look that made your heart warm returned, however, more nervous, afraid as he approached you. His hands held your face gently, not giving you time to move away before he leaned over to touch your lips. You froze in place, not being able to move a single member, even after the prince had moved away with terror in his eyes.

"I... I'm sorry, I didn't want to disrespect you, I promise," he said in despair, faster than he intended. "This is not going to happen again, I-

"It won't," you said, heart almost coming out of the chest, "We can't do that, Jace, I'm your servant- that-"

"It was my fault, I'm the one who has to beg for your forgiveness, I dishonored you," he almost spoke too loudly, almost.

"You didn't dishonor me!" You exclaimed as if it were obvious. "But that can't happen again. You are the heir to the iron throne and I am just a servant of low birth, there is no hope for us," your voice almost failed.

When Jace's eyes found the ground, his posture changed, the nervousness turned into something you didn't know how to identify, even though your own anguish was still very vivid while your heart beat fast.

"It's unfair," was all he said when he looked at you again.

“Indeed.”

A squeeze formed in your chest every second that your eyes remained connected, along with a restlessness that you did not know resided in your body until now. No, no, no...

In a bold attitude, you held his hands, uncertain of what to say, uncertain of what to do and uncertain of what you felt for him. It wasn't possible. Nothing, not a single word came out of your mouth while your heart beat faster and faster.

You shouldn't, you knew that, but maybe... maybe...

It was your turn to approach him, cautiously, absorbed in the brown of his iris and the way he mirrored your look.

There was no hurry to meet your lips this time, nor does it take long to be reciprocated. It was the kind of affection that women should have only with their lords husbands in the intimacy of their chambers, not with the prince of the kingdom whom you served and could harm yourself if you were caught.

But it seemed so right.

Your heart pumped soft fire through your body as the kiss gained layers, encouraging you to intertwine your fingers with his. It was not lascivious or obscene, but it involved your body during the act and made you float in the sweetness of his lips before it came to an end mutually.

Your hand slid to the side of his flushed face, smoothing his cheek gently. Even though part of your mind dealt with the turbulence of the situation, the other was delighted with the fullness of serenity.

"I've never been with a woman," he murmured about your touch, reluctantly. "I never wanted to ruin a woman outside of marriage."

Oh. That took you by surprise.

In fact, that brought you to reality again, but without the previous panic.

"You did it right," you comforted him with a restrained smile, feeling nervous. "There is no shame in that."

"I know, but I don't feel secure thinking about it."

Honestly, you didn't know what to say, but you knew that that situation could take a dangerous turn if it were prolonged. He could not consider such an act even for a second, so you just said goodbye to him immediately.

"It's late, you should rest, my prince."

The storm in his eyes almost snatched you together, but there was still prudence in your mind. There was no dispute on his part, allowing you to be involved by the coldness of the corridors until your rooms shared with the other servants. Although sleep wrapped around your body quickly, the prince stole your dreams with memories of what had happened.

When the nightingale time came, his image seemed almost palpable to your eyes. All you could remember were the lips of the princes against yours, the proximity, the softness of his hand, the way he looked at you.

It was dangerous.

All that was dangerous.

Especially for you. Nurturing an additional affection for the prince of the kingdom was a path of no return for ordinary people. There was no hope for you. There was no future between you. He would marry a lady of a important family and have little princes while you would perform your duty serving the next royal generations.

Even if you were willing to forget what happened, when you saw Jace that morning you knew that your relationship would never be the same.

"Good morning, my prince," was all you said when you entered his chambers.

Judging by the way the prince's gaze found yours, you believed he thought the same. “Good morning,” he replied in front of the window.

You left the breakfast on the table and went to organize the luxurious bed - unkneading the sheets and squeezing the pillows without looking at him while doing your work. Even though it was a rational attitude, the smell that emanated from the fabric transported you directly to last night, to the warmth of his lips, to the comfort of your hands and to the soft fire that warmed your veins.

Suddenly, you found yourself wanting more.

The subtle spark quickly turned into a fire, making you want to dive into bed and be surrounded by his smell, wanting to be kissed again in a sweet way, wanting his body pressed above your...

Wanting to make love to him.

Seven hells. No, it couldn't be.

The realization of the fact clouded your mind.

You felt nothing but the burning between your thighs, not even the repetitive call of your name by the prince. You wanted it, you wanted it, you wanted it.

You shouldn't, you shouldn't, you shouldn't.

In all these years you have performed your duty to the kingdom without any ambitions. Now, you believe you deserve enjoying a great pleasure and a great sin.

That's when the hand on your shoulder along with a call brought you back to reality.

"Are you okay?" The prince asked behind you.

There was nowhere to escape. And honestly, you didn't want to.

Taking him by surprise, you held both sides of his face and leaned over to capture his lips in a sweeping and demanding kiss, contrasting with the softness of the night before. Jace immediately corresponded, tying your waist and bringing your body closer to his. There was no fear in the way your lips moved or with the lack of distance between your bodies, on the contrary, you deepened the kiss and wrapped a hand behind his neck, breaking any space between you.

He reciprocated the vigor with the same intensity, savoring your lips as if they were the only thing that lacked him in life, almost pulling the air out of your lungs. You felt surrounded by the dragon fire and silently prayed to the Mother for your body to burn.

“I dreamed with you all night,” he whispered close to your lips, holding you close.

“Me too,” you slitted the apple from his cheek with your thumb. His lips were red, swollen, shiny and so tempting...

When you were about to lean again, knocks echoed from the door and made you jump back immediately, resuming your attention to the bed while the prince went to the breakfast table.

It was the Queen herself, talking to the prince of Dragonstone at the same time that you made a greeting to her.

“I wish to speak alone with prince Jacaerys.”

No other command was needed. With one last greeting, you left Jacaerys' chambers with a racing heart and trembling steps, as if walking on embers. The consequences of your actions would be disastrous if discovered, you were not foolish, but you couldn't help but want more. And can't you help but think about how that happened?

When did such a feeling arise and develop?

It was the questioning that guided your rest of the morning, the whole afternoon and the beginning of the evening. The duties kept him away from you, fueling concerns about a possible worsening for the queen's cause. Because of that, you decided to occupy yourself in the only way you knew: working.

You swept, cleaned, aired and washed until you were tired and coughing because of the dust.

At the end of the additional service, you went to the rooms shared with the other girls to clean yourself and be presentable to him, hoping to be able to see him during dinner.

It was insane, you knew that, but you couldn't help it. You wanted it, despite what it would imply.

And when thinking about what to enjoy with the prince would result, you realized something too serious to be ignored. What if you generated a bastard? Oh gods. Where were you with your head? How did you consider losing your maidenhead with a prince of the kingdom? It would be a scandal! You would be ruined! The queen would send you away, maybe to Essos at worst.

Nothing was effective to keep those thoughts away from your head, especially when you held his dinner with trembling hands. Everything got worse when he offered you a wide smile when entering his rooms, making you freeze briefly before walking to the table and greeting you with a reverence.

“Good evening, my prince,” you forced yourself to say.

“Good evening, my lady,” he replied humorously. "I missed you."

No, no, no.

You smiled insecure and looked down, unable to answer back.

“What's wrong?” He asked when he went to your meeting.

What should you say?

“I can't do that,” you chose to be brutally honest. "I can't get pregnant, I can't have a-" you couldn't say such a word, not in front of him, and you prayed that he wouldn't feel offended.

Unfortunately, his jaw closed and the posture hardened. Heavens.

"... a bastard?" He asked in a strangled voice. "I would never impute such a burden to you."

Your heart squeezed while remaining silent, too nervous to say anything. He seemed angry, creating a fear in your mind about the dragon's fury.

“And I would never dishonor you,” he added, holding your hands as his brown eyes warmed up. But that was Jacaerys, your prince and your friend who would never hurt you.

“I know,” you agreed with a nod and intertwined your fingers with his, being able to breathe relieved at last.

"Are you hungry?"

"No, I'm fine," you assured him with a soft smile.

"Eat with me, I don't have a big appetite."

You knew how to identify an order when you heard it. Of all the sins done and thought of in the last hours, sharing the meal with a prince was not so excruciating.

Sitting in front of him, you took a piece of bread and soaked it in the mushroom broth, watching him drink a generous sip of mead. None of you said anything for a while, leaving the noise of the violent sea wind that crashed against the walls of the castle being the only sound so far.

"What are we going to do?" He just asked.

"I don't know," you replied sincerely. "I think we should go back our dynamics, we can't be more than we are," your voice was lower than usual.

“I like being with you,” he said.

“Me too, Jace, but there's no hope for us,” you held his hand. "This will only break our hearts."

Although painful, that was the only truth that existed. He would never be yours. He would never abandon his duty to the kingdom for you, the opposite was just daydreams and songs invented to make ordinary life less gray. You were and would continue to be a servant and Jacaerys Velaryon would be just a sweet memory of something that could never happen.

Because that was just the order of things.

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taglist: @hxtd @fkanitta @ladyofvelaryon @llynx7 @briarrainsstuff @jhepolie @dani-says-stuff @vavafaure1994 @fallenangel161 @naive-daydreamer @uhnanix @yrcbhu5wdv

a note: I know it take a while, but I really put all my efforts in here!

[denial-permanente]

Hello Mrs Edge. I saw a post from a woman who had some guilt because she was weaning her husband off penetration and I wanted to share my own experience with this for her benefit.

For various reasons my partner had been unable to satisfy me for some time. When it started happening we went round to some of the adult shops and discovered sleeves and extensions, and from there we found chastity cages, and the harnesses and strapons available (I had no idea then it was called foxing and absolutely LOVE the expression!). I admit that I may have been more enamoured of the idea of "no more penetration" than he was 😂 but he wanted to please me, and I found the idea to be erotically intriguing.

I realized that in order to make "no penetration" work I had to condition him to accept it; that is, to retrain his masculine instincts to make him a better partner. It took some time but I found that it worked best to keep "foxing" nights penetration free (for him, of course!). He learned to fox me to my satisfaction (which you have no doubt learned can be absolutely fantastic!), after which he cleaned up and came back to bed to cuddle me off to sleep. Unlocking him was off the table on those nights because I wanted him to learn that foxing nights were for MY pleasure.

While I am excited to make him "penetration free," I am not ready to make him orgasm free, so about once a month I pick an evening to remove his cage so he can have an orgasm and some "intimate touch." Usually I have him rub against my bum with a little cream. As your husband noted in his response, this allows him an orgasm while reminding him that he is not allowed penetration. Sometimes if I feel especially generous, I have him lie back while I use my hands to bring him off. And I admit that I have come to relish telling him that my hand is the best that he can hope for, since he will always be denied my pussy 😈.

I discovered that it was best to have him clean up and replace the cage as soon as his orgasm was finished. For some reason making him lock up when he did not really want to keeps his attention level higher and returns his focus to me more quickly, which is my goal.

We have been doing this since Covid, and even though I now have him well trained, I do know that my "no penetration" regimen has not been easy for him. He wants to please me, but he is still a man so it is hard for him to hold back those urges. Naturally I felt a bit guilty about denying him at first, but as my confidence grew, I discovered that my new sense of power and confidence helped me to lead our relationship to new levels; indeed, we are both much happier than we were in the old days. Like you, I do not think of myself as a dominatrix, but there is no question between us that I have the power and control over my partner. If only our friends knew our secret!

Finally, I want to thank you (and your husband) for all that you do. Until recently, I had no idea that there were other people in a penetration free lifestyle. Like you, we are a totally normal appearing middle aged couple, more South London than Soho, if you know what I mean. A decade ago, had anyone told me that this could work I would have thought them mad. It has been so wonderful to see that there are other "normal" 😂 couples who live this way out of choice, not necessity. 💋🎶 Mistress Melodie

Hello Mistress Melodie! First, thank you for sharing your experience for Mistress Karin and other women who are learning about relationships like ours. And I agree that if someone had told me about this 20 or 30 years ago, I would have told them they were crazy!

While you did not say why you got into this, I like that you took charge and investigated things with your partner. Many of the messages that we get are from couples where the husband introduced it as a kinky thing and now their wife has no idea what to do. It sounds like you both have good communication and are able to talk to each other about what works for you both. Well, more for you, I guess. 😂

You call your relationship "no penetration," but obviously you mean that only for your partner. It's funny but I do not see my own relationship that way... rather, I think of the Ranger Vixskin as my husband's "real" cock now, like a replacement for the old one. And since I can make him come (in his cage, obviously), I really do not think about him lacking in anything. However... I have learned that men think of these things differently 😉. Maybe it's a different thing because you do unlock him for sexual things. My husband has said that sometimes that makes men even more aware of what they are not having.

I think that you bring up a good point about how the improvements in your relationship making it easier to deal with the pangs of guilt. My husband used to tell me that he was doing okay locked up, but it wasn't until I could really see the... improvements in his demeanor and feel how he was definitely happier around me that I could trust myself enough to keep him locked longer (and eventually permanently) and to just let any pangs of guilt float away. It's hard to explain, but I could just sense that he was more happy and content, even if he was having a bad time at work or if things were going on in our lives. Feelings like that give you the confidence to keep going, and having confidence in yourself and in your relationship means that you no longer feel like you "should" unlock him, or let him come, or allow him penetration, or do anything else that you might feel guilty about.

Thanks you again for commenting. If you have a Tumblr account, please message me to say hi and chat.

[tinycoffeeroom]

new home | arthur hill

face claim: none ♡

request: here !

requested: Hey saw you were looking for requests for Arthur hill maybe like going on your first holiday together or like moving in together x

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👤 arthurnfhill liked by arthurnfhill, lisahull_hill and 18,028 others

y/nstagram all moved in ! new roomie seems ok, he keeps singing a song about an old cowboy though?

arthurnfhill FEEL LIKE JOHN WAYNE ↳ fan RIDING THROUGH THE CITY ON MY OWN ↳ fan JUST AN OUTLAW ON HIS WAY HOME ↳ fan THE GOOD THE BAD THE UGLY ↳ fan I'VE SEEN IT ALL ↳ y/nstagram thanks for the karaoke guys x

lisahull_hill my big boy all grown up :( can't wait to come see what you do with the place x ↳ arthurnfhill mum i've not lived at home for years... ↳ lisahull_hill you've never lived with a girlfriend though! x ↳ y/nstagram lisa i need you to come round soon and help me i'm about to have a breakdown over sofa cushions x ↳ lisahull_hill i'll pop round tomorrow x

fan why is the champagne in the sink tho ↳ y/nstagram freezer machine Broke ↳ y/nstagram on a real note though, fuck currys bc WHY has our freezer been delayed by a week ↳ fan i'll fight them queen ♥️ y/nstagram

fan the books... can't wait to see the book nook!!! ↳ y/nstagram i'm so excited!!! annoyed arthur half to death talking about different bookcase options but i found a gorgeous set on facebook marketplace and its gonna look SO GOOD!! ↳ fan pls give us a tour!!!! ↳ y/nstagram keep a look out on my stories xx

georgeclarkeey it's not too late to come home arthur, your side of the bed feels so empty x ↳ y/nstagram womp womp go shag the other arthur or something ↳ georgeclarkeey he won't open his door :( ↳ arthurtv im protecting my peace ↳ georgeclarkeey im grieving the loss of my boyfriend and you won't even give me a cuddle </3 ↳ arthurnfhill i'm not dead????? ↳ georgeclarkeey it's like i can still hear his voice sometimes... ↳ arthurnfhill i hate it here

bffstagram georgeclarkeey can u have arthur over the weekend, i want a girls night with my gf x ↳ georgeclarkeey only if you take him back on the monday, i have stuff to do ↳ arthurnfhill feeling very much like basil right now ↳ willne uncalled for? ↳ miaxmon i have sole custody of basil pls delete arthur it's a sore spot for will ↳ arthurnfhill only if he apologises for making fun of my mullet AND THEN getting one himself ↳ willne y'know what the basil jokes aren't too bad

fan need a relationship like theirs PLEASE ↳ arthurnfhill all she does is bully me??? seek help ↳ y/nstagram ARTHUR i only bully you like 50% of the time... and you do it too ↳ arthurnfhill i would never bully my girlfriend ↳ y/nstagram the notebook night? ↳ arthurnfhill ok point taken ↳ fan parents <3 ♥️ y/nstagram, arthurnfhill

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Even with all the preparation that had gone into the move, you were still unprepared for the overwhelming amount of boxes that lined the halls of your new flat.

You and Arthur had discussed the idea of buying a house, but with his job being based in central London and the two of you still being young, renting a flat seemed like the best option before diving head first into the nightmare that was mortgages and white picket fences.

The first night the two of you moved in, only the TV and mattress had been unpacked, the stress of bringing all the boxes in tiring the both of you out to the point where the mattress lay haphazardly in the middle of the room and the TV lay slanted against the living room wall.

Arthur lay beside you, eyes half heartedly looking through Uber Eats open on his phone. "Chinese or Indian?"

You took a moment, trying to decipher what you would prefer most. "Hmm, maybe pizza? The other two require utensils and to be honest, I have no idea where our kitchen stuff is."

Arthur hums in response, turning his head to look past you. "I'm pretty sure they're in the bathroom, I think I tripped over our bowls when I went to pee."

Exhaustion must be catching up to you as you don't even question how the boxes labelled "KITCHEN" in black sharpie had ended up there.

After the pizza had been ordered, the two of you lay in comfortable silence, the quiet drone of whichever episode of Friends was queued on the TV floating through the air. A bottle of red wine had been opened at some point and the two half full glasses sit precariously on fake wood floors.

You must have slightly fallen asleep at some point, coming around to the smell of freshly cooked dough and a smiling Arthur staring down at you.

"You were dead to the world, not even the sound of me stacking it over our bathroom towels could wake you." He laughs at the memory, sitting down beside you and handing you a box.

You raise the lid, welcoming the mouthwatering scent of pizza as you shuffle up to sit. "I could smell the pizza."

Arthur guffaws around the piece stuffed halfway into his mouth, eyeing you playfully. "Of course it was the food that raised you from the dead."

Shoving his shoulder with your own, you tuck into the meal in front of you, eyes tuned on the TV as The One with All the Thanksgivings starts playing.

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It had been a stressful few days. You weren't lying when you told Lisa you were about to have a breakdown over sofa cushions. Luckily, she'd popped round the next day, armed with a small mini fridge and freezer which she made Arthur carry into the house. You could have cried when she produced a cute "congratulations on your new home" card and a bouquet of sunflowers.

The two of you sat on the half put together sofa and scoured the Dunelm website for all their cushion options, opting for some light brown teddy bear ones and some darker brown velvet cushions. Arthur stayed out of the interior design chat, instead opting to run some water into a pint glass for the flowers and bring over two cups of tea for both of you before he disappeared off into his studio room to sort out the wiring.

"Typical man, leaving us to make the place look pretty."

You giggled at Lisa's comment, pointing out the framed artworks sitting propped against the wall. "He picked those out, to be fair to him. We decided he'd do the decorating and I'd just focus on the furnishings."

You continued on your Dunelm hunt, bookmarking everything you thought would look good in your new home, Lisa throwing in a few suggestions as to what you may need. By the time the two of you felt you had sufficiently scoured the website, it was nearing dinner time. Arthur popped his head round the corner to ask if you wanted him to run out and grab something to eat, but Lisa shook off his question, grabbing your hand and her car keys.

"Y/N, we'll nip out now and pick up a few bits, including a vase," she eyed the pint glass begging to tip over, "and we'll pick up some dinner too."

Arthur shrugged his shoulders, smiling at how Lisa had taken you under her wing. Ever since he'd introduced the two of you, she'd taken an immediate shining to you, often sending you silly pictures that reminded her of you or organising coffee dates for the both of you to catch up.

One round trip for a vase and some cleaning essentials as well as a nice pub that did takeaway carveries later, you and Lisa bundle through the front door, giggling about the man in the elevator who had assumed the two of you were mother and daughter. Lisa had replied a cheeky "not yet" and had thrown a wink your way.

Arthur had moved from his studio to the living room, head popping over the back of the sofa at the sound of the two of you laughing. "What did I miss?"

One look at Lisa had you both giggling again, waving Arthur off as you unpacked the takeaway bowls of carvery and scoured the boxes for cutlery.

Arthur eyed the two of you warily, directing his mum to the sofa as he came to search for some glasses for the bottles of Coke you had picked up as well. Dropping a small kiss to the back of your neck, he smiled fondly when your eyes meet.

"This is nice."

You hummed, working on taking off the plastic lids. "Yeah, we were lucky to find the pub, Google Maps was useless."

He shook his head, one arm wrapping around your waist as he looks at his mum setting in on the sofa. "No, I mean this. Being sat in our home and listening to you and Mum laughing about god knows what. I was so worried when I introduced you that she wouldn't like you, I don't even know why, it's impossible to hate you. But, it's nice. I'm happy."

You turned in his grasp, hand coming to rest on the side of his neck. A soft smile overtook your lips at the serene expression on his face. "I'm happy too. I'm glad we did this. I love you."

He matched your smile, a small "I love you too" passing his lips before he pressed a soft kiss to yours.

"Hey, hungry mum over here!"

Lisa's voice broke the bubble around the two of you, both of you looking over to see Lisa smiling fondly from the sofa.

"My apologies, dear Lisa, let me bring it over now!" Laughing softly, you press one last kiss to Arthur's lips before sliding out of his embrace.

The three of you eat in comfortable silence, accompanied by the quiet sounds of the TV and the occasional comment about the dinner from one of you.

The sun had long since set and you and Arthur tried to convince Lisa to stay, but she shook her head, stating the two of you needed your own space and left soon after, leaving behind warm hugs and a kiss to both of your heads.

Choosing to tidy up tomorrow, you both head to bed. You slid in first, welcoming Arthur's warm embrace as you settle in for the night. He peppered soft kisses to your shoulder blade, nuzzling his head into the spot afterwards. "Goodnight, I love you."

Brushing a hand through his unruly hair, you dropped a kiss to the crown of his head. "I love you too." Taking in the surprising quietness of central London, you closed your eyes, excited to wake up to a new day in your new home.

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a/n: love love loveeeeee doing arthur hill requests <3 had to include my queen lisa x

[gatheringbones]

["In thinking specifically about sexual experiences, and what I have and haven’t experienced with men of the realm I know is possible with women, I run into a vocabulary problem. We barely have words for the most concrete, physical elements of our sexuality, let alone the mental, emotional, and spiritual elements of it.

   One experience I’ve had only with women is associated with fisting, in a context where it went both ways in the relationship. (Non-reciprocal fisting feels different for me, even with women.) At times, this has been much beyond a bodily experience, transcendent perhaps. From a “bottom” perspective, I have sometimes moved through the physical sensations, letting them go, and traveled to another plane of consciousness. From a “top” perspective I have moved through fucking a woman with very conscious care to a place where my body did it, without thought, but closely in tune with her and feeling what she felt. To a certain extent I was also in tune with her on the other dimension, not going with her so much as seeing where she went. Probably some form of transcendent sex is possible with men, but I haven’t experienced it, and I imagine it would be quite different.

   I think some lesbian-specific facets of sexuality are about making love with someone with a body like my own. This allows me to understand what she feels, and to be understood, in a much clearer, more immediate way than is possible in much of heterosexuality. This kind of knowing is particularly strong with women whose sexuality is like my own. There are other, more specific elements. The feelings of being very inside someone, of that kind of openness in a woman lover, and of being enclosed is something I like a lot and don’t have with men. I feel men open to me, but in a different way, and I never really feel enclosed by them.

   Another lesbian-specific feeling has to do with being a woman wanting a woman, and the amazement which stays with me, even when I know she wants me, that she wants me. Subconsciously I think I’m still affected by the social messages that women want men, and therefore, women don’t want me. In a sense it still surprises me when they do. It doesn’t surprise me that men want me. I’ve been conditioned all my life to expect it.

   These are things I feel are fundamentally different with men and women. There is also quite a bit that I think is not necessarily exclusive to one or the other gender, but in practical terms usually is.

   One dimension of sexuality I have explored with men, but not with women, is taking the position of “top” for my own pleasure. I have played with clearly defined sexual roles with women, but as “top” when I have taken a woman, it has always been with a focus on her pleasure, and my own has come secondarily through pleasing her. With men I have sometimes taken a position of absolute control for my own pleasure.

   The most extreme instance was my first sex with a man since I came out. It was an affair at a conference which I began very ambiguously, unsure of whether I could get what I wanted sexually from a man. Once I decided that I wanted him, I also decided that the responsibility for my pleasure was my own. I took him, and I had my pleasure with him. In later discussions with lesbian friends I was asked whether I didn’t think I had “used” him. I feel clearly that I did not. It was something that he wanted and enjoyed, and, though my focus was on my own pleasure, I wasn’t insensitive to him. He was responsive to me, and gave freely what I demanded. He had his pleasure through mine. I can’t really imagine having this kind of sex with a woman, though I’m sure it’s possible, and that women do it. I think it would be a delicate thing, psychologically, but with this man it was easy.

   My experience of role dynamics, in both explicit and unacknowledged forms, is very different, in sex with men and women. I would like to hear from gay men who have started being sexual with women in relation to this. I have also found it very different making love with “straight” women, or women who are accustomed to sex with straight men, and with “lesbians,” or women used to sex with women. And this is not only a question of knowledge or technique, but also of the perspective with which women come to sexuality.

   For the last year I have been sexual a lot, mainly with a man whose sexuality has been shaped by making love with straight women, while mine has been shaped by making love with lesbians. We’ve both changed. Some of these changes are good in our relationship, but some of them don’t work for me.

   Have you ever been with a person of one sex and wanted something impossible with that combination of bodies?]

Karen Klassen, talking about sex, gender, and desire, from bi any other name: bisexual people speak out, edited by Lorraine Hutchins and Lani Kaahumanu, 1991

[neverenoughmarauders]

Hi! what are your thoughts on the ever present fanon idea that James repeatedly asks Lily to date him before she finally concedes (he pesters her tbh)?

I feel like this throws a lot of people off of Jily as it just adds a bit of creepiness to the ship and makes it weirder for Lily to get with James considering this behaviour, after what must’ve been a fair amount of reckoning since he tormented her childhood best friend for years. Like even if Lily hated Snape at this point I don’t think she’d forget how James treated him easily and let James off the hook without a proper reckoning so adding pestering behaviour to that dynamic just makes their relationship more unlikely ya know. Honestly just tryna find reasons why fandom in general dislike Jily more than jegulus atp.

Hi anon

This idea that James repeatedly asked Lily out I think far precedes Jegulus. In my youth, the few fics I engaged with (often because my best friend kindly helped translate them) seemed to position it as a very cute thing - although it always annoyed me even then, because it has no basis in canon. The day and age where James persistently asking Lily out was seen as cute are over, and now this fanon idea is presented in favour of Jegulus or Snily.

Actually, as an aside, in general the marauders' story is one that has aged poorly... You can't really view the marauders without the lens of it being the 70s and during a wizarding world war - but people do and it completely changes everything.

How do I feel about it?

I feel the same way about this as I do with all fanon ideas that get presented as evidence. It drives me up the wall no end. We all get carried away with our own interpretations and that's fine, but if people cannot separate canon from interpretation of canon /headcanon from fanon, how can we have an informed debate?

Canon:

"Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they’re doing at night?” “I’m just trying to show you they’re not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are.” ... “I didn’t mean — I just don’t want to see you made a fool of — He fancies you, James Potter fancies you!” The words seemed wrenched from him against his will. “And he’s not ... everyone thinks ... big Quidditch hero — ” Snape’s bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily’s eyebrows were traveling farther and farther up her forehead.

My interpretation of canon:

The conversation between Snape and Lily to me indicates that it is a relatively new development (which means sometimes not long before/after the whomping willow incident). At this point I think it's hard to argue that James has asked Lily out - why on earth would Snape feel the need to point out that James fancies her if this be the case.

Canon:

“I will if you go out with me, Evans,” said James quickly. “Go on ... Go out with me, and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.” ... “I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily. “Bad luck, Prongs,” said Sirius briskly, turning back to Snape. ... “There you go,” he said, as Snape struggled to his feet again, “you’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus — ” “I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!” Lily blinked. “Fine,” she said coolly. “I won’t bother in future. And I’d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.” ... “What is it with her?” said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him. “Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,” said Sirius. “Right,” said James, who looked furious now, “right"

Also canon: Lily found James attractive at this point, despite not liking him very much. It was confirmed in an interview, in response to whether or not Lily hated James, but as we know even from the source text:

“How come she married him?” Harry asked miserably. “She hated him!” “Nah, she didn’t,” said Sirius.

My interpretation of canon:

James is being an immature d***. That aside, nothing about this dialogue suggests to me that James has ever asked Lily out before. Why? James looks FURIOUS at the rejection, he does not give off the vibes of someone who has routinely been rejected by Lily.

There's also the small stuff which doesn't by itself mean anything but which adds up, such as Sirius' and Snape's reaction. Sirius doesn't come across as someone who has seen this a hundred times. He's obviously far less affected or surprised by the outcome, but that's not the same thing. Snape completely loses it with Lily - why? It's not the first time James and Sirius has bullied him, but if it's the first time Snape has listened to James ask her out - worse still, use him to ask her out, he might be furious. He told her so, didn't he? James Potter fancied her.

My headcanon:

We know Lily found James attractive, and that James is shocked to be rejected. We also know Snape is nervous that Lily might be falling for James: 'I’m just trying to show you they’re not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are' Why? Probably because by now Lily and James have flirted a little on and off. If Lily spoke the way she spoke to James by the lake - if James routinely asked Lily out - then the conversation between Severus and Lily makes no sense.

If people want to like Jegulus, they can. Personally, I think Jily holds everything I want from an "enemies" to lovers trope, and if I want another trope it's usually best friends to lovers, and I've got prongsfoot for that. Or if I am feeling like I want both, there's always Jilypad <3

[iwaasfairy]

( question about atsukooo.~ ) when did our little one develop such a lust for his mommy? when did it start? how did it start? did he reject it at first? ⛩️ sorry for the constant asks btw, my schedule freed up big time

YESS of course bby I love talking about hIMMM and I love your asks shush come here I kiss you

tw incest, sexual exploration

Honestly, I think Atsuko always had a preoccupied attachment style. He grew up with you protecting him from the world and cherishing him and doting on him, but you also weren’t exactly ready to be a mom yet? You try your best, but sometimes when Tooru bothers you and pokes and prods you just can’t stand to be around anyone, and those dips in affection make Atsuko very clingy.

Ko isn’t stupid, even as a kid he catches glimpses of how Tooru grabs your chin and pulls you close and how he stares at you sooo hungrily sometimes. But it’s normal, right? Uncle Tooru’s always been in his life and you don’t stop him, so it must be. And Ko’s best friend also doesn’t have a relationship with his mom, and it’s pretty obvious Taishi’d do just about anything to get your approval and somehow that makes pride stir in Atsuko’s chest.

You’re just so great and pretty and warm, everyone is attracted to you. You must be the most lovely mom in the world. Maybe even the most lovely and wanted person ever. So he feels good when he’s close to you, when he has your full attention, and when you praise him it makes him feel over the moon (｡+･`ω･´) he just can’t help but be a little bit of a show off around you? because you always reacted so sweetly whenever he did

And so he’s definitely aware of how much he wants to be your… something, sure he likes Tooru and Iwa, but not like he likes you. By the time he’s in high school he understands that there’s no man in your life -he’s the man in your life, uncle Tooru doesn’t count right?- and that gives him a responsibility to protect you back and stay close to you and cherish you, right? It is perfectly normal that he wants to be the main person in his mom’s life, he loves you. He has no choice but to love you.

He gets a streak of giddy pride when you cheer in the stands for him at his games, and though he wants to do good for himself, it’s the sweaty hug he can give you afterwards that makes it fun. You’re soft and you smell good and you like him too much for his poor young man brain to handle. If anyone asked, he’d proudly say that ‘his mom raised him’, and did a damn good job.

But it isn’t exactly like he thinks anything is weird!! He just likes your smell and your waist and watching your legs, and he likes catching glimpses of your tits and when he kisses you sometimes he wants to slip his tongue in your pretty mouth. That’s normal. He’s perfectly normal about you. But when his friends talk about girls their first thought isn’t to their moms. That when they close their eyes and beat one out, it isn’t thinking about your face and your lips and your tits that are pressed to him in every hug, and how good you’d feel skin to skin. How you’d sound whimpering his name.

They don’t talk about having thought of your face when he first slid his cock inside his girlfriend at the time and turning her around so he can imagine you. When they say something about thongs and pocketing underwear, he laugh, because how can he explain your lingerie that’s littered in his room because it feels better to fuck his hand when he can smell you. Is there something wrong with him? Why— it isn’t like he isn’t interested in other girls. He is, he likes the attention, and they’re hot.

But you’re on his mind day in and day out. He wants to rub his waist against you when you get close to him and —god, what the hell is wrong with him. Why does he want to have your body in his lap and squirming on his fingers more than he wants anyone else? You’re just so warm and sweet and kind of- innocent, in a way that is way too easy to exploit. You just let him walk all over you sometimes, and he’s gotten so much bigger than you, and somehow that turns him on too.

But he’d never act on it. You’re a single mom and you love him and he should never ever let anyone know how hard his cock gets when he’s paying a bit too close attention to you. He’ll just continue to walk into your shower time and snuggle up when you’re sleeping and that’ll be enough. He can live with that, right? Maybe he should get a new girlfriend to take the edge off things. He’s fine to just pretend- as long as you’re his and he’s yours.

…..so you can imagine the feeling he gets when he walks into the house early and hears your moans ring down the hall and sound so fucking hot, and you’re whimpering and begging and through the crack of the door he sees Uncle Tooru blow your back out and call you ‘his, only his, his girl, pretty baby’ and— really, that guy? You’re fucking your stepdad and begging him for more, and Tooru grunts about putting another baby in you.

Motherfucker.

[skruttet]

What are your thoughts on Moominvalley's comet special?

I talked a little about it in this other ask response, but overall I was disappointed. I think it's quite telling that the part of it that made me the most emotional was the opening credits 😅

Someone else said it was "underwhelming" and I think that's a good descriptor for it. The rest of the season as a whole already didn't really feel final enough to me, and you'd expect the finale to make up for that and give you that big feeling of wrapping up the whole series in a satisfying way, but it just didn't hit that mark for me.

The actual journey in the first half just wasn't as epic and exciting as I was hoping it'd be, and I think that's partially due to them using elements from Comet in previous episodes so they didn't wanna reuse them again, like the stilts (though surely they could've brought them back...). The cave Moomintroll and Snufkin end up in also feels like a missed opportunity - it's such a beautiful setting, but all they do there is panic, then see the Hemulen, then he leads them out. Idk what exactly they could've done instead, but surely there was something interesting the writers could've come up with to utilise that space more.

The way Snufkin brought up the sun oil was so awkward and forced; I know it was to establish it so that Sniff could have his whole stinky salesman arc in the latter half, but it's really weird how he explains its origin to his friends again even though all of them apart from Snork were there in Fire Spirit! Speaking of, that was a real step down for Sniff, and I would've preferred him to have an arc surrounding the kitten instead. Maybe he spends the time trying to gain its trust or something, and then at the end, finally manages to do so and rescues it to bring it back to the cave.

And speaking of the cave, I didn't like that change, either (honestly I just think I disliked most of the changes they made from the novel tbh lol. like I get they don't just wanna rehash it and want this to be new and original to an extent, but sometimes that can go too far, or just in the wrong direction). It's just really stupid for them to be like "we need to face our fear and face the comet!" it's a COMET! It's not a mysterious noise you hear in the middle of the night that you can investigate, it's a big hot rock that'll kill you all!! And then Groke moves towards it, and ~something~ happens, but this is a family show so they have her moan again at the end to show she's still alive and I love Jack but his delivery of "I'm so relieved" is so weirdly flat that it doesn't help how awkward and unnatural this ending is lmao.

Now this is more of a personal gripe, but I don't like how Snufkin is positioned at the end. When they're facing the Groke, he's right next to Moomintroll, which I like (and also brings to mind Night of the Groke when they faced her together), but then after the white flash, he's not only nowhere near Moomintroll, but not even near their friends? And he walks away WITH THE POLICE INSPECTOR?! Like thank god Joxter doesn't know he's his dad he'd have a heart attack if he found out his son was so chummy with the cops smh. You could maybe argue this isn't even just a personal complaint, and that Snufkin has objectively been one of Moomintroll's most important relationships in this series, so for them to not have some kind of moment or interaction at the end feels wrong.

Something I was going to discuss in that other ask reply but I ultimately deleted because I couldn't find the words at the time was Little My's characterisation. This season in particular made me feel as though she's so, like, mad all the time. And I understand that anger is her thing, but it's usually a cheery kind of angry, you know? But in this series she sometimes just seems so frustrated and upset and although I like that it explores the more emotionally dramatic side of her, I was hoping that by this final season at least she'd be in a more comfortable and happy place. But in this Comet special she's so exasperated and moody with Moominpappa and I wish they just made it feel more like daughter-light-heartedly-poking-fun-at-her-dad, I guess?

Snork is interesting in this special because he plays quite a big role in it, but I also feel so sorry for him cause he's always getting cut off or used by Pappa and Sniff who don't properly listen to him and I just want to give him a big (figurative bc he hates hugs) hug my poor smart boy let him infodump. There's also a moment where he says "I can explain-" and his sister says "Thanks, Snork, but we really need to carry on!" which is so obviously the writers trying to squeeze in Snorkmaiden's characterisation from the book where she's practical in the face of her brother's long-winded meetings, and is a great example of the feminism of her character there, but it just doesn't quite work the same here. Once again just not as natural as it should feel.

On a positive note, I LOVED the look of the comet itself - every shot of it looked so cool and it changed the lighting of the valley in a fun and interesting way. I also liked how Jarmo and Samuli gave the score of the episode a funky sci-fi sound, which helped set it apart as something special for the series. And despite all my negatives, it's still entertaining! It's enjoyable to watch! Just, for someone who had expectations based on the whole series and the novel, underwhelming.

[queenshelby]

Our Little Secret (Part 52)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Infidelity, Age-Gap, Triggers, Smut

Despite Mark's persistence however, Sean declined his offer for now, wanting to win you over fair and square, but when Mara's birthday came finally around, he was in two minds about it.

It was a Saturday morning and you were up early, preparing everything for the party. Mara was in her playpen, occupied with her toys, while you were rushing around the house, making sure everything was in order for your guests.

You were dressed in a casual summer dress and your hair was tied up in a messy bun, but you still felt self-conscious when the doorbell rang, and Sean stood there with a big smile on his face. 

He had not been around Mara before but arrived early to help you with hanging  decorations and preparing the food. "Hey, you look great," he said, handing you a bunch of sunflowers making you smile softly.

"Thanks, so do you," you replied, admiring his button-down shirt and jeans even though the moment was short-lived.

You led the way into the living room where you had a designated area for the kids' party. "I thought it would be best to keep it separate from the rest of the house so we don't end up with sticky fingers all over," you chuckled to yourself.

"A room full of toddlers, huh? Sounds fabulous," Sean  joked, looking slightly nervous at the sight of the colorful balloons and animal balloon sculptures scattered around the room.

"Oh, don't worry. They're all really well-behaved, trust me. Mara is actually the most boisterous one of them all," you laughed, feeling yourself relax a little more in Sean's presence.

"That's good to know," he said, taking a deep breath with a nervous smile on his face. "So, uhm, just checking, what did you tell people about us? Because, I know that your ex's family is coming and all, so  I just don't want to cause any awkwardness or something," Sean inquired, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

"I told them that you are a friend of mine, who has been helpful lately, and that you are coming over to help me set up and all. I didn't mention anything about us being together, you know?" you told him, feeling the need to reassure him once again.

"Yeah, I figured as much. I just wanted to make sure," he said, nodding his head in response.

"I am sorry Sean, it's just, Cillian wouldn't even agree to you being here, around Mara, unless I kept this platonic and I can understand him too," you told him sympathetically, understanding the frustration he was feeling.

"Why do you care so much about what he wants

, though? Surely he should be happy for you, if you have found someone else that you like?" he asked, a slight note of confusion in his voice.

"Sometimes, it's complicated Sean. Cillian and I are working through things and, to tell you the truth, since you and me aren't in a relationship, I too want to keep this platonic for Mara's sake. It would just confuse her, you know," you  tried to explain, being as honest as you could.

Sean didn't seem totally satisfied with your answer, but he understood where you were coming from and decided to drop the subject for now. You both worked in silence for a while, hanging decorations and setting up tables, but there was an underlying tension between you.

As you were arranging the food on the table, the doorbell rang and you felt your heart skip a beat at the thought of Cillian's mother arriving. However, it was just your best friend Emma. 

"Where is my favorite Babygirl?" she  grinned, taking Mara from her playpen and blowing raspberries on her chubby cheeks.

You couldn't help but laugh at the sight of your best friend, who had known you since you were in high school, playing with Mara. You two had been through so much together and you were grateful to have her in your life.

"I have a super cool present for you,"  she winked, pulling a wrapped gift from her bag.

"Oh my god, Emma, you didn't have to. But I am so excited to see what it is," you grinned, helping Mara opening her first present for the day, inside of which was a beautiful stuffed giraffe  , complete with a pair of pink and white crocheted booties.

"Gigi," Mara smiled, which was what she had called the giraffes at the zoo , her favorite animal.

"I know. Isn't she beautiful?" she said, pointing at the stuffed animal in Mara's arms, already covered with enthusiastic kisses from your daughter.

"Best friend ever," you smiled, hugging Emma tightly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Emma said warmly before turning to Sean, introducing herself for the second time around, the first time having been at the nightclub where you had met him.

"Is Cillian okay with this?"  Emma asked, eyeing Sean up and down.

"Yes, I cleared it with him," you told her which is when, again, the doorbell rang and more guests  began to arrive one by one.

Sean remained helpful and kind, keeping his distance from your friends but assisting where needed. You watched him from across the room as he chatted with some people, sipping on his beer, wearing a polite smile on his face. He looked so at ease that you almost forgot about your complicated arrangement until, an hour into the party, the door went off once more.

"I will get it," Sean offered, seeing how busy you were with Mara and her toddler friends.  You nodded appreciatively, relieved to have some extra help at the party. As he opened the door, he was greeted by the sight of Cillian who was meant to be in the UK, filming. 

Surprised, Sean took a step back while Cillian stood in the doorway, his eyes narrowed as he looked at Sean.

"Sean," Cillian said with restrained hostility as he walked inside. 

Sean tried to keep his cool but couldn't help feeling nervous at Cillian's presence.

"Cillian, what are you doing here?" you asked, surprised, as you made your way over to him.

"Well, I decided to surprise Mara for her birthday. I'm only here for the day though. I got to go back tonight," Cillian explained, unable to take his eyes off Sean and you could sense the tension in the air growing with every passing second.

"Well, I am glad you could make it," you said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Mara is over there if you want to say hi to her," you gestured towards the living room where the children's party was happening.

Cillian hesitated for a moment before nodding and making his way towards the noise and laughter emanating from the other room. 

"There she is," he smiled, picking up Mara and kissing her chubby cheeks. "My little princess," he said as Mara beamed at her father and hugged him tightly. "Happy birthday Sweetie," he told Mara who went straight for Cillian's hair.

"Dada," she grinned, running her tiny hands over the shaved sides on his head, which was clearly a haircut she wasn't too fond about.  "I've missed you Babygirl," Cillian told her affectionately, noticing how Mara's eyes brightened at the sight of him. "Missed me too, huh?" he teased, receiving an adorable giggle in response and, just as you watched this tender moment unfold, you felt a swirl of emotions in the pit of your stomach. You were glad that Mara had her father there for her birthday while Sean, on the other hand, seemed displeased. 

It was clear that he felt uncomfortable around Cillian, and you couldn't blame him. After all, you were still unsure about where you stood with both men, and you knew that keeping a clear mind would be crucial to avoid making any unnecessary mistakes.

As the party progressed, you found yourself caught in a never-ending cycle of keeping a close eye on Mara and making sure that Sean was relaxed and enjoying himself while Cillian socialised with his family and the people around him. 

Mara clung to her father, clearly pleased to see him  and looking adorable in her brand new party dress, complete with a matching headband and shoes. Her laughter filled the air as she played with the other children, who seemed equally delighted to have Cillian there as he was fabulous with young kids, engaging with them in their games and being purposely silly and entertaining. 

Sean, on the other hand, remained somewhat reserved, occasionally joining in conversations but mostly standing off to the side, observing everything. You caught his gaze several times throughout the party, noticing the steady glance he gave you, the subtle twitching of his lips, and the raised eyebrow.

It was as if he could see the turmoil brewing within you, sensing the conflict that raged on inside. You wondered if he knew that you were struggling with your feelings. To what extent and in what ways was he aware of your internal struggle? His knowledge about you had been growing with each passing day, and that realization terrified you. He had been observant and intuitive, but was stopped short of fully understanding what was going on within you. You felt safe, yet vulnerable, anticipating the reckoning that was surely coming.

Cillian's attention seemed focused solely on Mara as she was having the time of her life, laughing joyously and blissfully oblivious to the drama unfolding between her parents. The laughter and chatter of the other children echoed throughout the room, punctuated by sporadic fits of giggles that seemed amplified because of the sheer innocence of their pleasures.

"She is growing up so fast," Cillian murmured, standing up from the floor and watching as Mara sat amongst the other kids her age, playing with blocks. "And yet, I feel like I haven't been here for any part of it lately," he added softly, the regret in his voice unmistakable as he turned his gaze toward you.

"I should have declined that role, Y/N. I've missed so much," he sighed, his eyes searching your face for any hint of understanding. "Only being here every fortnight isn't good enough," he told you, not knowing that Sean was listening in, and you said nothing for a moment, merely holding his gaze as you reflected on his words.

"Life happens, Cillian," you said finally, opting to keep your tone light and neutral to avoid causing any unnecessary drama. "This is your career and we knew this before we brought Mara into this world. In fact, we talked about the logistics of it many times," you  explained gently, trying to make him understand, knowing that this was an important point for him.

"I know, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss seeing her every second day or so," Cillian sighed, his eyes softening, "It's just, I don't. It's hard I suppose," he  admitted, looking away briefly before turning back to meet your gaze.

"You know, after my final exams next week and the wedding the week after, Mara and I could stay in Liverpool for a bit," you proposed, thinking that it would be good for Mara to have more time with her father. "After filming, you could spend some time with her, just for an hour or so, and I could take her to the zoo over there and all the other cool places during the day while you are on set,"  you added enthused, wanting Mara to have a good relationship with her father.

Cillian looked surprised but also pleased at the idea. "Really? That would be great, Y/N. Not just for Mara, but for me too," he admitted, smiling at you fondly. "I could rent you a unit and car and you could cruise around with Mara during the day. Maybe the two of you could even visit me on set, unless you think that's weird,"  Cillian offered, taking another sip of his beer.

You shook your head and smiled at him. "No, not weird at all. Unless it's weird for you," you said, seeing how you were no longer together and Mara's visit could even affect his performance on set.

"I think it would be fine. I would love to see her, even if it's just for a little while," he replied with a smile, touching your arm affectionately. You noticed the way Sean was watching you, the subtle tightening of his jaw and the narrowing of his eyes. You pulled your arm away, feeling suddenly uncomfortable under his gaze.

"Alright, let's plan it out then," you  said, changing the subject before Cillian could say anything else. "I'll call you next week and we can arrange everything."

Cillian nodded, seemingly satisfied with your response. "Sounds good," he said before making his way back to Mara while you went and stood next to Sean who was nursing a beer. 

"I should go," Sean said after a little while, breaking the silence and you were too busy to notice that he was struggling internally.

"Of course, you don't have to stay," you said, offering him an easy exit.

Sean hesitated for a moment before nodding and making his way towards the door.

You followed him, feeling a sense of guilt wash over you. You had known that inviting Sean to the party would make things complicated, but you hadn't expected it to be this difficult.

"I am sorry Sean. I didn't mean for things to get so awkward," you said softly, as you stood by the entrance.

"It's fine. I knew what I was getting myself into, although I didn't expect HIM to come," Sean replied,  his voice low and gruff as he looked at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of anger, sadness, and something else that you couldn't quite put your finger on.

"I know, but he is Mara's father and I am glad he came, for her," you  said, your voice barely audible as you stood just a few feet away from him, feeling the tension between you grow thicker.

Sean sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair, looking you in the eye for a long moment, before replying, "I know, you're right, and I should just leave. But, I hate to admit it, his presence makes me feel like you still belong to him and it bothers me," he admitted and, with that,  the tension between the two of you grew palpable like a storm on the horizon.

Feeling the weight of the situation bearing down upon you, you glanced back into the room, wishing that Cillian could somehow disappear, like a mirage in the desert heat, leaving both you and Sean alone, untouched by the web of complications that had ensnared you both. But, you knew better.

"I belong to no one Sean," you  spoke softly, feeling a sickness rise in your throat at the thought. "Not to Cillian, or you either. I have a life of my own to live."

Your words hung heavy in the humid air, letting the weight of their meaning sink in. Sean looked at you with a troubled gaze, unsure of how to respond.

"I will call you tomorrow?" he then simply asked, causing a flash of confusion in your mind.

"Sure, I would appreciate that," you managed to say before Sean disappeared and drove off  in his car. You returned to the party, feeling lost and confused, trying to shake off the awkward energy that lingered between you and Sean.

Sean, on the other hand, made a call to his friend Mark. "Fuck morals. I am done playing nice. Give me all the dirt you can find on him," he demanded, wasting no time to beat around the bush.

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[riggedbones]

making a dashboard simulator post from my octopus world that is so inscrutable .

2 notes

🐕 themodernwisdom

stop fucking telling me it’s problematic to have “humans dni” on my carrd none of you understand how traumatizing a symbiosis breakup can be.

👨‍💻 typical-hue-man follow

traumatizing for who 🤨 lmao you weren’t even the one dependent on them for survival

🐕 themodernwisdom

do you not know what dni means.

#blocked. #youd think after all these millennia they’d evolve some reading comprehension

52 notes

⚡️ psychiclesbian

like i don’t esp like how often were asked about our sex life but like yea i mean they’re right. tentacles 👍👍

#minors dni #like if they rly want to know just find an octopus whos dtf not that hard #i mean. okay maybe a bit hard. but idk they’re online sometimes?

3 notes

🎛 oldstructuremusings

just got the most insane piece of fanmail what the fuck. why is this child learning local human language from my radio show. in the middle of the fucking ocean. apparently they can’t pick anything else up that isn’t the occasional raven station but like i feel like i have some sort of responsibility to not teach this kid how to say fuck every five seconds.

#text #its probably too late tbh #if the kid is seeing this. get off of tumblr

12 notes

🦋 lonesomedreamer 🔁 why-no-pigeon-emoji follow

🐦 why-no-pigeon-emoji follow

does anyone know how human symbiosis works i saved this guys life right after his cat friend died and i think he is getting attached. or something.

🚧 mazemaster follow

ur not a dog or cat ur fine.

🦋 lonesomedreamer

it’s a common misconception, but humans can actually form symbiotic bonds with any sapient creature, actually! the relationship mostly helps with their social and mental requirements, and if there are enough humans in an area to form a community, they’re actually not at all reliant on forming interspecies symbiotic relationships! doesn’t really happen where i’m from though, i think last i heard there are maybe 6 humans in the area max 😅

🐦 why-no-pigeon-emoji follow

everyone stfu he made us matching outfits im gonna cry

#omg this is so cute 🥺 #i'm glad things worked out

5,923 notes

🌿 grasstoucher 🔁 toogenericusername follow

🐚 molluskfan12 follow

currently keeping some smaller snails atm after you-know-what >_> their shells are a more fragile but the meat is better imo. hope it'll work out still!!

🪶 aviandinosaurs follow

cottagecore bloggers off the shits lmao what is this

🐚 molluskfan12 follow

what the fuck is a cottagecore

10,239 notes

⚡️ psychiclesbian 🔁 undereclipse follow

🗼 prehistoric-structures follow

i'm curious!!!

🌅 sundownscare follow

op i appreciate the button for humans in theory but are you under the impression that we don't show up in our own creation myths???

🕸️ veryseriousmonkey follow

maybe they just want to know about other species, like humans appearing in their own myths is p much a given lol

🗼 prehistoric-structures follow

oh yeah thats... totally why that's there

#they forgor 💀

42,143 notes

🌿 grasstoucher

do you think they had discourse like this pre climate disaster like it was just humans at that point how bad could it rly be