#that shit genuinely scared me. bottom of my heart fear.
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lilgynt · 6 months ago
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yall get harassed by men in cars next to ur car while driving or am i just stupid sexy hot
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resilientlids · 2 years ago
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Introduction
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*Top two photos were taken in June 2019. Bottom two photos were taken in Dec 2022.*
My name is Izabel, I am 27 years old and if I’m completely honest I don’t know what the hell im doing with my life. So I decided what best way to get it all out in the open and be honest with myself than to share it on a platform that no one in my life knows about.
Besides the chances of this page going viral are slim to fucking none. Nobody cares about this shit, and I’m okay with that. Also, if you haven’t already noticed, I cuss a lot. So if by some chance you come across this post/page and it bothers you that I do, then move the fuck on, because that’s not going to change.
Something about me is I’m a pretender. I act like everything in my life is going fucking well, that I have all my shit together and I know what I fucking want. Truth is I’m a liar. I’ve made the people in my life-scratch that, I’ve made myself believe that the things I say I want are what I actually want. I have no fucking clue what I want.
I’ve been saying that I want to be a doctor and I’m willing to be in school for 8+ years to fucking get a degree that I’m not even sure I want. The only reason I think I want it is because it sounds appealing and I think I’ll be making a difference in this fucked up world. I mean that’s the goal right? To make a difference. I’ve also been telling my loved ones that I’ve been going to therapy and taking care of my mental health, lie. I haven’t stepped foot into a therapist’s office in my life. Although, maybe now after all this I will. Lmao life is funny man.
I used to say that my biggest fear in life was dying before I completed all of my goals. Fuck my goals because they aren’t really mine. They are some made up shit that I think I should want in order to be happy. My biggest fear is dying pretending to be someone I’m not. For the most part I love who I am. I am compassionate, kindhearted, loyal, I stick up for what’s right, I’m strong, Brave (most of the times) and I love helping people. But I can also be ugly hearted, I could lack empathy, dishonest, undisciplined, mean, uneducated and the list can go on if I let it. I shouldn’t love myself “for the most part” what kind of bullshit is that? I should genuinely love myself. I don’t and I want to change that shit. But in order to love myself, I need to be proud of myself. I haven’t done ANYTHING worth being proud of. Despite what my loved ones tell me, I really haven’t.
You have to be careful with what your loved ones tell you about you because just like they can tell you negative things about yourself sometimes they won’t tell you the whole truth. What I mean by that is they love you so they won’t see what you have to live with everyday. They will say “You should be proud of yourself” but they are made to see the very best in you, so they won’t hold you down or hold you accountable to the real you. I’m not saying that them saying you should be proud of yourself is a bad thing especially when you earned it. But if you know, and I mean DEEP down you know you don’t deserve it than those words can hinder you more than help you. You’ll start to believe it and then you will believe it so much that you will create this narrative of yourself that you are fine just the way you are and don’t need to change. I’m only speaking from experience.
I want to be proud of myself. I want to be true to myself. I want to stop being so fucking scared all the damn time. But mostly, I want my life to mean something. I’ve felt so fucking lost my whole life. I don’t belong anywhere, I don’t fit in. I never have. I’ve always been the one that gives all of me, in relationships, at jobs, to my family and in all areas of my life, except for myself. I want too change that. In fact, I will change that.
I recently made the decision to join the USAF and when I made that decision it just made sense to me but I couldn’t understand why. I knew I would be better off in the military than where I am now, I mean I get the benefits, the education, the travel, and experiences I won’t ever have In my life. Yeah there’s the probability of going off to war but for some reason that doesn’t scare me. You know what scares me? Staying in the same spot for years, in this town and in this same fucking cycle of living not knowing who I am. I haven’t understood why this decision felt so right until recently. Here’s the thing, I have no real life experiences, I have no real education, I have WASTED my years thinking that I want some bullshit degree that I’ve change probably like 10 times. I’ve been wasting away at jobs that are so fucking unfulfilling, and I’ve given my all to them too. I’ve wasted money on bullshit and I’ve let my health, mentally and physically, take a huge plunge and to top it all off I have 0 discipline. In other words, I’m a fucking mess and I fucking suck. If I’m being honest right? Joining the military won’t solve my problems I know that’s up to me. Joining will make me a better person, leader, give me qualities that I lack severely to help change my life. I know it. I know I haven’t been very truthful with myself about a lot of shit but this? This I feel in my bones that I’m right.
I’m a tough ass bitch, I know I am and when I want something I’ll put my whole mind to it in order to achieve it. I told myself that once I’m in BMT I’m going to be the best one there. I’m going to OUT PERFORM everyone. Even the men. They’ll know my name. The instructors and MTI’s are going to be in awe of me. I’m going to graduate with Honors. I’m going to be the top of my fucking class. I’m not going to be some bitch that rubs it in their faces though, I’ll be humble and if I see anyone in my flight struggling, I’ll offer my help. My goal is to thrive in the Military, and I will, starting with basic.
The reason I posted the 4 pictures is because it’s a reminder of where I used to be, who I am now and hopefully I’ll be able to share who I turn into in the next 6 months to a year. I have a lot of work that I need to do before swearing in and going to BMT. I have to change my habits, my mental and physical state as well as recover from my injury. Yes, injury. I somehow hurt my back and have been in constant pain for 2-3 weeks. I have been going to Physical Therapy and trying to recover. I know this is going to be strange to say but I think I was supposed to get hurt. As I lay here on this couch I can’t help but feel useless. This injury doesn’t let me do much. I can’t walk, stand, or sit for long periods of time or I start to be in agonizing pain. I will say though, this injury has taught me about mental strength and patience with myself. A part of me feels frustrated because I should be out there getting myself ready, going to the gym, just doing more for myself, but I’m limited. Honestly it’s made me angry. I can honestly deal with the pain, what I can’t deal with is feeling like I’ve been falling behind. That’s where the patience comes in. I know I’ll recover, I know it just takes time.
Something you’ll see me say a lot is “Stay Resilient〽️” because resilience is the key in life. At least to me it is. That little 〽️ reminds me of mountains, and what more resilience can you have than that of a mountain. They are unwavering and stand tall and strong even in the midst of a storm. That’s what I plan to do and I plan on documenting everything, every step of the way.
Stay Resilient Friends 〽️
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sublimecatgalaxy · 3 years ago
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 'I’m not afraid of you.’ Daryl
Love this in a heartbreaking type of way.
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I know that he's heartbroken, his shoulders sunken, eyes tired with dark rings surrounding them. He looks gentle and calm but I know he's falling apart inside, the image of Beth's body hanging from his arms still engrained into all of our minds.
It hit him the worst, almost as bad as Maggie. He cared for Beth just like he cared for Sophia and now that they're both gone, that there was nothing that he could've done to stop it; it was worse for him than the rest of us.
He doesn't verbally take on responsibility and say that it was his fault, knowing that if he said it out loud that it would be over, that he would break down and there would be no coming back. He didn't want to accept the guilt because he knows it'll tear him apart.
"Hey." I whisper, sitting down beside him on the grass as he puts out the lit cigarette, his chest rising and falling in a calculated breath. He just tilts his head to look at me and now I can see the tears yet to be shed, his nose twitching as he sniffles. "Do you need anything?" I ask, reaching over carefully to take his hand in mine, his fingers shaking against mine.
"Need you to stop worryin' 'bout me." He mutters, shrugging off my hand as I sigh, tucking my knees to my chest as my lips tug down into a frown.
"Not gonna happen." I shake my head, toying with a piece of grass between my fingers as he scoffs, head hitting the tree as he looks up at the sky.
"Caring about me will get you killed." He mutters, watching me as my brows pull together, turning my body completely towards him with a scoff.
"This was not your fault." My voice is stern, catching his attention as his eyes flicker up to look at me, distrust and genuine pain flickering through his hues. "Beth dying- Sophia dying- both of them, not your fault, Daryl." He just shakes his head, eyes fluttering shut with a small sniffle. My hands reach up, cupping his cheeks, forcing him to look at me. "I am not afraid of you. And I'm not scared to care for you out of fear of getting hurt." His bottom lip wobbles a bit as he nods, his blinking making tears run down his dirty cheeks. "It's because of my care that I am not afraid to get hurt for you-"
"Stop sayin' shit like that-"
"Stop blaming yourself." My thumbs brush against his cheekbones, collecting tears as he sniffles. "People are going to die Daryl. But anyone who cares for you like I do- like Beth did- we'd die for you without hesitancy." My hands pull away from his face as I brush my tears from my cheeks, taking his hands once more in mine, squeezing them. His head just hangs, his forehead resting on my collarbone as I tug him to me, feeling his shoulders shake with quiet sobs.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
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kpopmakesmeweep · 4 years ago
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badboy!yeonjun x innocent!reader 
word count: 21k
angst, fluff, smut
when your teacher asked you to tutor in the beginning of the school year, you were hesitant even then. 
you knew that it meant your lunch period and one study hall for the day were gonna be completely booked, helping younger kids grasp the basic idea that the mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell.
but then you met one young girl desperate to pass her first test in october and knew your teacher had gotten you, sending a small, defeated smile her way as you gave her the okay to put your name on the list. 
you didn’t expect to come back from winter break with the news that the next student you’d be tutoring wasn’t a sweet 7th grade girl but none other than choi yeonjun. 
the overwhelmingly attractive but horribly intimidating boy who was a year older than you and had, quite possibly, one of the worst reputations the school has ever seen.
if he wasn’t getting suspended for fighting or smoking on school grounds, you’d attempt to block out the mindless gossip about him and all the college girls he’d frequently fraternize with. 
he was in your lunch period when you were a sophomore and he was a junior and you couldn’t help but be fascinated by how handsome he was. how he carried himself and how everyone else seemed to be fascinated by him too.
he was always wearing some variation of black, like his closet was just an empty void of black leather, dark cotton and chains. if he didn’t have on a beanie or hat, his then blue hair was a mess of waves that always made you look a few seconds too long.
you’ll never forget the day that he caught you, your nose in a textbook as you studied for a midterm before a loud shout of his name caught your attention. 
you looked up and watched one of his friends playfully punch him in the arm, something about him hooking up with the older girl he had his eye on first and yeonjun only smirking at him devilishly. 
he didn’t look apologetic or regretful in the slightest, more so like he’d do again just because he could and just because he knew the girl would be eager to have another go with him. 
your breath caught in your throat when his deep brown eyes met yours, his head cocked as he held your gaze with all the confidence and smugness you could never have. 
it took his lips quirking into a cocky smile for you to snap out of it, cheeks warming and stomach churning at getting caught before you dropped your gaze right back down to your book.
it was a quick and thorough reminder that this is where you feel comfortable and this is where you belong - with your nose in a book and your mind on your studies. 
you’ve always intended to just get through high school with good grades and minimal distractions, a small (almost non-existent) friend group that left you able to make straight a’s and work a small, part-time job.
you’d done a pretty good job of that thus far, no bad boys covered in all black and sliver chains to show you that, maybe, getting out of your comfort zone isn’t such a bad thing after all.  
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you met yeonjun during your 7th period study hall a week later than intended, him not showing up to either of the periods your teacher informed you both last week. 
you weren’t surprised in the slightest but also wouldn’t dare tattle on him, simply dodging the questions from your teacher or giving her a polite smile and cryptic answer. 
but you couldn’t even stop the way your eyes widened when the library door opened and he was making his way toward you, black beanie placed on his head along with a dark shirt tight across his chest paired with gray sweatpants that made you bite down on your lip.
his hair was pink now, long with a slight wave to it that looked all too soft and inviting to touch; the color probably shouldn’t work on anyone but, of course, it works on him. 
devastatingly attractive in a way that doesn’t seem fair nor human. 
he hasn’t said a word to you, he wasn’t even within six feet of you yet, but you were already scared shitless. you already didn’t trust yourself to be around him and not make a bumbling fool of yourself. 
a pretty smirk crossed his face when he stood in front of you, looking down at you with a playful look in his eye that was far too mocking and sinister. 
“hey. y/n, right?”
you never would’ve pictured this man saying (or even knowing) your name, nor him looking at you so willingly and intensely, but you have to quickly snap yourself out of it. 
this was as professional a relationship could be between two students and you really had to get it together. 
“hi, yes... that’s me,” you say softly. 
so softly that you’re not even sure he can hear it but you can, unfortunately, hear the tremor in your own voice and it’s nothing but absolute embarrassment. 
he happens to like it though, if the way his eyes light up and his smirk widens tells you anything. 
“i’m yeonjun.”
“i know.”
you say the statement far too quickly and it causes your face to warm, your mouth hanging open as the amusement continues to build behind his eyes; you can see with your own that the boy is too handsome for his own good but something tells you he’s probably far too charming as well. 
“i mean... we were supposed to meet last week,” you attempt to clarify.
it seems like a good save, something to make, both, your embarrassment lessen slightly and for him to know you’re aware that he missed the two sessions last week. 
but it doesn’t seem to work, the boy sitting down across from you with all the confidence and smoothness in the world. he leans in closer and you hold your breath, horribly lonely and touch-starved heart fluttering in your chest. 
“i know, sorry about that,” he says, a genuineness in his voice that you can’t help but question. “i was busy with some things.”
you don’t know what to say so you don’t say anything, not even wanting to think about what kind of things keeps a man like him busy.
your teeth sinks into your bottom lip nervously and you can just feel his eyes burning into you, moving across your pink face and down to your soft white sweater; it makes you look every bit as innocent as he’s presumed you to be and he can’t say it doesn’t make him smile. 
“and yet, the teacher didn’t say anything to me about missing.”
you meet his eyes at his questioning tone, so scrutinizing and intense that you feel very grateful about your decision not to blow up his spot; you don’t even wanna know what he looks like when he’s angry. 
or maybe you do, some darker and suppressed part of yourself thinks. 
“that’s because i didn’t tell her,” you say quietly, a lump forming in your throat that you’re trying desperately to push down. “i didn’t wanna....” 
you almost say tattle and you think your face wold turn an unnatural shade of red if that silly word left your mouth in front of him.
so you meekly and sweetly decide on, “i didn’t wanna get you in trouble,” a smile gracing his face that almost makes you feel like you’d done a good job or something. 
and how ridiculous does that sound? you did a good job for the older, delinquent boy - you don’t know what’s gotten into you. 
maybe his smile and his eyes and just the way he’s looking at you is making you feel as if you’re actually something to look at - you’ve never really been observed the way he’s observing you. 
a deep, melodic chuckle leaving his mouth causes you to swallow nervously, watching him with a blank expression because you’re not sure if he’s laughing at you or with you.
your heart stutters when he leans back to stretch, his arm squeezing at the back of his neck; it takes everything in you not to watch his arm flex.
“how’d i know you were a good girl, hm?”
your eyes widen at his words, stomach swooping in a way that’s only ever happened when you watch couples on tv or read about a romance in books. 
because it’s not only his words, it’s the way he carries himself. the way he’s looking at you and speaking to you, the way you never thought anyone would - let alone him. 
he must mistake your utter...shock and fascination for confusion, eyes wide and cheeks flushed and he suddenly wants to place his hand on your cheek. 
see if it’s as warm and soft as it appears to be in this very moment.
“you were in my lunch last year, no?” he hums, looking directly at you with zero ounce of fear and ever bit of confidence. “always with a textbook or writing something.”
he doesn’t remember all the girls that gawk at him but he remembered you immediately. 
caught your gaze early last year and saw something flicker in your eyes, a soft and innocent fascination he wasn’t used to seeing but immediately made him wanna ruin you - he wanted to ruin you and he didn’t even know you. 
he just knew that he’d watch you sometimes, discreetly and quickly, but enough to get his fix.
when he entered the cafeteria and made sure you were sitting there with your your face buried in a book. 
when you’d get up to buy lunch or a bottle of water, pull down your skirt or adjust your hair in a way that made him wanna touch you in a similar fashion.
when you’d leave five minutes early (in what he fantasized was so you wouldn’t be late) and send him one last glance. feel your soft, hesitant gaze on his face and meet it carelessly at the very last second.
just enough to watch you get shy and see the blush so similar to now cross your cheeks. 
he didn’t know your name and he, truthfully, never intended on learning it. because as much as he wanted to truly ruin you, he knew that’s all it was - a dark, twisted fantasy that someone like him shouldn’t act on. 
but then when he walked in and saw you here, the tutor he was dreading to meet in such a familiar position, he knew immediately that you were her. 
the cute girl from his lunch he wasn’t sure was an angel he wanted to protect or someone he wanted to fuck the shit out of. 
you weren’t sure what to think right now, not wanting to get your hopes up or think too much into his question - you were in my lunch last year, no?
think that you were special and he remembers you for reasons far too fantastical so you only nod, figuring he could be taking a guess; there’s only three lunch periods after all. 
“yeah. your hair was blue.”
a smirk crosses his face, chest warming at the fact you remembered him (even though the cocky, confident part inside of him knew you would). 
“yes it was,” he confirms, smiling down at you in a way that makes your heart jump and pound even more. ”i was hoping you’d remember. because i knew i recognized you from somewhere.”
you don’t know how you’re gonna do this. you can barely look at him, how are you supposed to talk to him and teach him twice a week and actually-
“i do wanna ask you something else though.”
your eyebrows pull together at the slight change in his voice, cocking your head to the side as you look at him.
he’s leaning in a little closer now, tiny pink strands hanging from his beanie as his brown eyes bore into yours. there’s still some amusement twinged in his eyes but it all looks very deceptive, unnerving a part of you that your stupid little heart is ignoring. 
he doesn’t allow you to ask him what before he starts talking again. 
“how about we keep these sessions the way they’ve been?” 
your eyebrow raises as confusion continues to plague you; your sessions haven’t even started? 
you haven’t even taught him anything, what could he possibly- but it’s the moment he opens his mouth to speak again, you realize that’s exactly the point. 
“you tell the teacher i’m coming to these and i’ll tell her what a good job you’re doing. how much i’m learning from you and shit.���
a smirk crosses his face when he peers into your eyes, catching the nervous, unsure look in them that only makes his smirk widen - you really are too cute. 
you, on the other hand, don’t know how you feel about his suggestion; you just know how you feel about lying. 
it doesn’t sit well with you and you don’t wanna get in trouble. 
the teacher has a class during this period so it’s not like she’d come down and check but it still makes you incredibly queasy. 
and if he needed tutoring in the first place, he obviously needs help. he’s a senior and needs to keep his grades up so he can graduate. it’d be your fault if he didn’t pass and you’d hate to be the reason he gets-
movement in front of you causes your thoughts to immediately stop, body freezing as you watch him lift his arm and bring his hand to your head. 
he moves a strand of hair from your face before smoothing out the slight crease in your forehead, biting down on his lip when he feels your skin is just as soft and smooth as he suspected. 
“what are you thinking so hard about?”
the deep, low tone of his voice and inquisitive look on his face is dangerous, almost as dangerous as the frantic beating of your heart and the way it’s about to pound out of your chest. 
it’s like he has electric sparks shooting from his hand, making you feel extremely exposed and vulnerable even though his touch is quite gentle and innocent.
“i.... it’s just....” you stutter out, taking a deep breath because you know you need to get it together fast. “you’ve been having trouble, right? that’s... why you needed tutoring in the first place.”
his eyebrow quirks up at your comment and for a split second, you think you’ve offended him. 
“i don’t want you to fail, yeonjun.”
he doesn’t allow himself to dwell on your words, realize that no one has so openly and sweetly said that to him before. or even cared enough to tell him that they don’t want him to fail.
he knows the teachers and counselors get him help because it’s their job. 
he knows his parents bitch and complain about it because they don’t want him repeating high school or wasting their money. 
he knows anyone who says anything to him about it is just doing it to make themselves look like a good person or friend. 
but you just so openly and sweetly said it, a deep concern in your eyes that he knows he can’t dwell on or his similar feelings are gonna arise from last year’s lunch.
where he’s about to throw caution to the wind and do anything and everything he wants to someone as innocent and sweet as you; but he can’t do that and he knows it, he knows that’s why these session can’t happen - on top of the fact that it’s not only you. 
he smokes during lunch and into this period. 
and there’s just no fucking way he’s spending that time suppressing his predatory attraction to you while learning about shit he doesn’t understand and being high as a kite. 
“you don’t gotta worry about me, angel,” he hums lowly, the name falling so naturally and smoothly from his mouth, he doesn’t even realize. “just do that for me, yeah? then you’ll have 7th free.”
you don’t hear much after he calls you angel, just that he’s asking you to do something for him and you’re blindly and dumbly nodding because he just called you that.
and it’s not until he smiles and thanks you deeply, looking over your face once more before saying that he’ll see you around that you realize you’re alone. 
sitting there as you watch yeonjun walk out the door without a glance back and come to terms with the fact you just agreed to lie to your teacher for him.
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for almost a month, you were able to keep it up.
it was terrifying and debilitating and it almost sent you into a full blown identity crisis, but you’d somehow managed to do it.
that was until this afternoon, when your teacher cut through the cafeteria during lunch with a cup of coffee in hand and suspicion in the pit of her stomach. 
she saw you sitting there alone, your own books sprawled out around you as you wrote down notes before her short call of your name had your head snapping up. 
her eyes watching you quizzically made your own widen, stomach sinking and heart starting to pound as he she made her way over to you. 
“hi, y/n. where’s yeonjun today? it’s wednesday.”
the period only began ten minutes ago so it wouldn’t be weird for you to say that he wasn’t here yet. that he got held up after class and would be on his way shortly.
but you were just nervous and so bad at lying that you blurted out that he left to go to the bathroom, her eyes roaming the table in what you could only assume was for his books. 
“he took his backpack with him,” you tell her quietly, smiling softly in an effort to hide your guilt and distress. she only hums softly before nodding her head, taking your word for it because why wouldn’t she?
you’re good and studious and wouldn’t ever lie to a teacher.
but then when she comes down to the library next week during 7th period with her class, catching you at the table by yourself, you do it again. 
look her in the face and panic, make a scene of collecting your books as you tell her you forgot you guys were meeting in the cafeteria today - placing the blame on yourself.
you spent the rest of the period in the bathroom, collecting your thoughts and attempting to calm yourself down because you can’t keep lying. 
you haven’t even talked to yeonjun since the first time you met in the library, only seeing him in passing in the hallway or after school. 
he’ll send you a nod paired with his signature smirk and you’ll send him a small smile back, dipping your head before your cheeks flush at the mere sight of his eyes. 
you wish you hadn’t agree to this. 
you wish he didn’t effect you so much and you wish you could tell him you either need to actually help him or tell the teacher he doesn’t want to, because you’re losing your mind. 
you’re anxious and upset and not feeling good about yourself, barely able to look your teacher in the face these days. 
it’s on a friday before lunch, the bell ringing ready to dismiss you from her class, that it all comes crashing down.
she asked you to stay behind for a moment, everything about her face calm and neutral as you made your way over to her desk. 
you were anything but calm as you stood before her, that familiar feeling of dread and guilt rushing in your stomach as you smiled softly at her and asked if everything was okay. 
“yes, i just wanted to say what a great job you’re doing with yeonjun.”
you don’t even know what your face looks like but you know it’s probably the face of someone incredibly guilty, being praised for something you haven’t been doing and taking credit for it even though you know it’s wrong.
the feeling in your stomach confirms all of those feelings, tight and fluttery and buzzing with upset.
“o-oh?” 
“yeah,” she smiles tightly, looking over your face before speaking again. “we just took our third test and he did great. in the low 90s.”
a part of you desperately hopes that to be true, that maybe he started applying himself and somehow started to grasp the material all on his own. you smile at the thought that that’s the case, nodding your head as you, against your better judgment, keep up the facade. 
“i’m happy for him. he’s been working very hard. w-we studied at our last session for it, actually, and he really seemed to be understanding it.”
the contemplative look she gave you should’ve been the first sign that she knew you were full of shit, a quiet hum leaving her mouth. she holds your gaze until the moment you drop it, looking down at your white sneakers until she calls your name softly. 
“y/n... why have you been lying to me?” 
your lips press together as tears prick your eyes, all of the guilt and shame rushing through you at once. 
“he failed his test and i know you guys haven’t been meeting.”
she knows that because you can’t lie. she knows that because yeonjun still doesn’t know anything and all of the students she’s recommended to you have passed with flying colors. 
she knows because when you look up at her, your lip is trembling and it looks like you’re about to burst into tears.
“i... i’m so sorry.”
but even then, even after this moment right here, you’re still not gonna tell on yeonjun. because you don’t want him getting in trouble and you’re not gonna try to excuse your own behavior by admitting you agreed to it. 
you’re just as at fault as the older boy and you’re not gonna pretend you’re not. 
“why have you been lying? you could’ve just told me if you didn’t feel comfortable tutoring him or it wasn’t working out.”
because she knows yeonjun’s reputation. she knows he’s a year older and that you’re one of the shyer students in her class. she was hesitant at first to even put you two together but thought you’d be able to get through to him. 
and because you don’t know what to say, how to make up an excuse that puts neither of you at fault, you don’t say anything. just continue to apologize with teary eyes and a shaky voice before she eventually lets out a sigh. 
“take the next few days to figure it out. try to work on it with him or come to me and be honest that it’s not gonna work. but you didn’t have to lie to me, y/n. i’m a little disappointed in you.”
those words hit you harder than you care to admit, more tears building as you nod your head and quickly leave the room.
you knew from the beginning that it was wrong.
you never felt good about it and you knew it was bad but you still took part in it. she has every right to be disappointed in you and it feels like everything you worked so hard for has been ruined. 
now you look like a liar who can’t be trusted. 
now any time you tell her about another fellow student you’re working with, like the 7th grader you got through to or the 9th grader you helped get an a on their test, she’s gonna wonder if you really did that.
if you really helped them or if you’re just lying about that, too. telling them the answers to their homework or lazily explaining the concepts to them like you don’t work hard with each and every one of them. 
you’re surprised to see yeonjun when you make it to lunch a few moments later, your stomach still in knots and left over tears in your eyes. 
you don’t even realize you’re standing in front of his table until you hear one of his friend’s deep voices, a brash “who are you?” not even filling you with fear. 
you’re only looking at yeonjun pathetically, wide teary eyes and pouty lips in an effort to hold back more tears.
yeonjun’s dressed in his usual attire but you can’t even focus on that, his pink hair flawless against his black shirt and chain hanging around his neck as he adjusts it carelessly. 
soobin’s words catch his attention before your appearance does, looking at the front of the table and taking in the sight of wide, teary eyes and pouty lips; it pulls at something in his chest more than he cares to admit.
“yeonjun, can i talk to you for a second?” 
your voice is wobbly and timid and everything about it so incredibly embarrassing, the tears in your eyes obvious to all the young men around the table. 
you probably look like some girl he slept with and then left on read, begging him for another chance because your heart can’t take not being with him. because you got attached and now it feels like you need him. 
but, really, you just need him to let you tutor him. 
you can’t disappoint the teacher anymore and you had a job to do with him; you should’ve never told him that lying would be okay. 
“who’s this?” his friend asks with a smirk, his hair a bright shade of purple that looks striking next to yeonjun’s. 
“no one,” yeonjun’s quick to snap, looking at you before quickly getting up and guiding you out of the cafeteria by the small of your back. 
he walks down a secluded hallway and out to the garden of the school, looking at the tears in your eyes and feeling himself frown. 
“what happened?”
“i... she found out we haven’t been meeting,” you mumble, feeling silly and childish for crying in front of him about something like this; but you can’t help how you feel, you can’t help feeling sad and guilty about all of this. 
your heart drops when he actually smirks at you, looking over your face with a gaze that’s just as soft as it is amused.
you’re almost positive he’s about to laugh at you, call you a loser for crying over something as juvenile as getting caught in a silly lie and hurt your feelings even more. 
but then you’re quickly stiffening when his hand reaches up, gently brushing at your tears and marveling in just how soft your skin is. 
“that’s why you’re crying?” 
you’re embarrassed to say the least, any words you’d use to justify your reaction caught in your throat - and the smirk on his face isn’t helping either.
“you’re too pretty to cry over stupid shit like that, y/n.”
“it’s not stupid,” you respond, voice shaky and demeanor meek but still able to talk back. 
because it’s not stupid to you. wanting to be nice and studious and a good person isn’t stupid. not wanting to be a liar or someone who goes back on their word isn’t stupid. 
“she trusted me to help you and i lied to her.”
“we lied to her,” he says, voice and eyes teasing as he bends down to be on your level. you think he’s trying to make you feel better, a soft playfulness on his face that does anything but.
because you aren’t like him. 
you aren’t cool and feared and you can’t not care about how you effect other people. 
“why didn’t you just tell her it was my idea?” he asks suddenly, his eyes roaming your face in such a gentle but curious way. “she probably already knows that.”
“i... i didn’t want you to get in trouble.”
he rises to his full height as a small smile crosses his face, your soft voice and sweet words again effecting him far too much. he shouldn’t feel this way toward you and he shouldn’t want to be tutored now.
he shouldn’t be reaching out to touch the smooth skin of your cheek, a few stray tears making his lips fall into the smallest of frowns as you hear his voice the softest it’s ever been. 
“i wouldn’t get in trouble, angel.”
and there’s that word again. making your wet eyes widen and stomach to flutter, wondering how and why that simple word sounds so nice leaving his mouth. 
maybe because you’ve never been called that before. 
could only imagine being called that by someone, let alone him, in such a way. or maybe it’s because it is him, the boy you watched for months on end, forever fascinated by the way he carried himself. 
or maybe it’s because-
“but even if i did, how’s that your problem? why would you care?”
it’s a fair question you suppose but it doesn’t stop you from licking at your lips nervously, an all too familiar (and embarrassing) blush warming your cheeks. 
“i mean... it’s not,” you mutter shyly, not sure if you’re more intimidated by him calling you out or the look on his face. 
but even with those feelings, you’re still able to meet his gaze. 
take in the deep, dark intensity staring back at you in his brown eyes. they’re softer than one would expect, almost soft enough to make you forget what you were wanting to say. 
“but it’s just as much my fault as it is yours. so it didn’t seem fair.”
he smirks so he doesn’t say anything too brash, looking over the blush on your cheeks. his hand itches to move your hair behind your ear, a move he’d always do because he knew it was charming. 
knew it’d get him laid and get a girl’s heart fluttering.
but now he wants to do it just to touch you, feel your hair and skin and watch the blush on your cheeks deepen; but before he can do anything, he’s surprised to hear you speak anything.
“but it’s also not fair to keep lying,” you say softly, a broken little smile crossing your face as you look at him. “i actually really hated the lying... so if you don’t wanna do the sessions, i’m gonna tell her it’s not gonna work for us. but if you change your mind, i’m still free during those periods.”
at that moment, he had every intention of telling you no. 
he didn’t wanna give up his free time and energy to learn about things he’s absolutely sure he’s never gonna need to know after this. 
he didn’t wanna sit through the sessions high or not get high at all, the only way he’s able to cope with the last period of the school day knowing that he could roll a joint in his car with soobin. 
he didn’t wanna resist his obvious attraction and borderline fascination with you, act on it in a way he knows you’re not ready for and in a way he shouldn’t.
but when he walked in the library on monday, the time he told you he’d get back to you, you looked up and smiled at him. it was such a small, quick smile but everything about it called to him.
the twinge in your eyes and the way your hair fell, how even though your smile was small, it lit up your face and made you the prettiest girl he’d ever seen in his life.
at that moment, you were positive he was about to tell you no.
that thanks but no thanks, he’s absolutely not gonna spend his free period being tutored by a younger student who only stutters and blushes in his presence. 
but when he sat down in front of you, a smirk on his face and eyebrow quirked, you couldn’t even hold back your look of surprise. 
a deep chuckle left his mouth when he caught your expression, the sound one of the best noises you’ve ever heard.  
“what? did you think i wasn’t coming back, angel?”
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it took you a month to see yeonjun was just as confident and just as much trouble as you’d expected. 
he was far too charming and attractive and funny, a sarcasm and wit in him that made you muffle your giggles like a middle school girl. 
you weren’t used to talking playfully with the people you tutored, always so focused on getting the work done and making sure you were doing a good job explaining the material for them.
but yeonjun always made sure to delay it, attempt to get to know you before you could even discuss his homework or review sheet; and even though it hasn’t been easy, he’s been persistent in breaking down that wall you put up.
“did the flashcards help or do you think you’re more of a-”
“why don’t you ever go out?”
you suppress the urge to let out a sigh as you turn to look at him, his expressive eyes looking over your face.
you’ve gotten used to the feel of his gaze on you, almost like it was burning into your skin and leaving you exposed to the bone, but it didn’t help when you made eye contact.
looked into his eyes and saw him looking back at you so confidently and so easily, you couldn’t help but feel flustered.
“what do you mean?”
you know exactly what he means but it’s the only thing you could think to say.  
you know more than anyone how much time you spend alone in your room, watching tv series and reading books and reorganizing until you don’t even recognize your own space.
but it’s not that you’re bothered by it, that’s what you like going. not going out isn’t something you find bad or upsetting.
“i mean i see people from your grade at our parties a lot,” he hums lowly, his eyes leaving yours only to look at the soft, pastel pink material of your sweater.
“but you’re never there,” he continues, looking at you and cocking his head to the side questioningly. “why’s that?”
“well, i’m not...invited, i guess,” you mumble out, ignoring the way your cheeks warm even more. “i like sticking to myself. and staying home.”
the words and your tone bring a pout to his face, your eyebrow raising at the sight. why is looking at you like that?
“well now you have an invite,” he says, a teasing smile crossing his face. “come to my friend’s party tonight. soobin, do you know him? he has the purple hair?”
his voice is far too sweet and soft compared to the look in his eye, teasing and flirty and reminding you of just how dangerous he is. how he’s capable of having so many different sides, he nearly gives you whiplash. 
he’s the bad boy everyone thinks of him to be, skipping class and getting high and ditching tutoring lessons by smiling too kindly at a mousy little tutor. 
he’s the play boy you see come out when he looks at you a second too long, bringing a blush to your cheeks and stirring something very unfamiliar in the pit of your stomach. 
but then he has a softer side you see sometimes, like when he decided to do these lessons in the first place because you cried to him and made yourself look even more pathetic. 
“i’m happy you decided to do these,” you say to him quietly. 
it was only your second session but you wanted him to know you were supportive of his decision. that, even if your word meant nothing (because, really, who are you to him?), you were proud of him.
it’s not easy for a senior to give up a period or two to learn about things they don’t understand; you probably wouldn’t wanna do it either, if school and learning didn’t come naturally to you. 
but for whatever reason, he agreed to do it.
“oh?” he hums, the trademark smirk on his face causing your cheeks to warm.
“yeah,” you smile softly, nodding your head before looking down at your clasped fingers. “i just... wanted you to know that. i understand why you didn’t want to but i think it’ll be good for-”
“why do you think i didn’t want to?” 
you look at him and for a split second you’re scared that you offended him. you suppose you don’t really know him well enough to make an assumption about him but you just assumed he-
“or, you know what, no,” he says, shaking his head as he pushes his chair closer to yours. 
he leans over the desk the same way he did during your first meeting last month, bringing your faces closer until you can smell cologne and the faint stench of cigarettes. 
“i wanna hear why you think i changed my mind?”
you quirk an eyebrow as you look at him, staring blankly until you realize he just plans on doing the same. 
“well... i guess it’s because you wanted to do good, right?” you ask meekly, unsure why he changed his mind but knowing that you were happy he did. “and maybe you didn’t wanna disappoint the teacher.”
a deep chuckle leaves his mouth that has butterflies erupting in your stomach, watching as he shakes his head and meets your gaze again. 
“is that no it?” you ask bravely, your wide eyes and confused look causing his own stomach to do flips. “what’s so funny?”
but he’s quick to push it down, reach over to ruffle your hair in a way that makes your eyebrows pull together. 
“nothing, angel,” he mumbles, his eyes roaming yours. you see the exact moment there’s s witch behind them, a flirty and darker front he puts up melting into a soft, vulnerable look.
“but thank you for telling me that. because i’m happy i’m doing them, too.”
he has yet to tell you the reason all these weeks later, probably because you wouldn’t dare ask again, but whatever it was, must’ve greatly inspired him.
because over these weeks, he’s really been putting in the work. writing notes and listening to you and asking questions when he’s not making you blush or inviting you out just for you to decline. 
“so...?” he asks, a charismatic smile stretching across his face as he looks at you awaitingly. “what do you say? you wanna come?”
“no, thank you,” you smile politely, feeling bad for downright denying it but the offer feeling far too similiar to cliche movies you’ve watched. where the popular boy invites the nerd to a party and everyone laughs at her, questions why the hell she’s here and pulls some stupid, immature prank on her.
but this isn’t a movie and you don’t think you even have the capacity to show your face there, nor would anyone care that much to target you. 
dismissing him is easier than really considering you hanging out with him outside of this library. seeing him in a different setting and allowing him to see a different side of you.
not you looking at him pleadingly, your eyes moving to the paper in front of him as you ask him to do the next question.
“i’ll do it if you come tomorrow night,” he says, a sigh leaving your mouth as you look at him in frustration.
“yeonjun...”
because if there’s another thing you’ve learned about yeonjun, it’s that he knows you have trouble saying no to him. it could because he sees the naivety in you, seeing something good in him at times and thinking you’ll really be able to help him.
but maybe he hopes you can help him, too. be a person he can lean on and know 100% is gonna be there for him. 
“c’mon, y/n, don’t you wanna have a little fun?”
“i don’t think i’d find it fun,” you mutter honestly, a pout forming on your lips that has him swearing he’s never wanted to kiss someone as much as he wants to kiss you in this moment.
just brush his lips gently against yours, hear the little sounds and see your reactions that he knows will be the best thing he’s ever had. hold your waist and feel your skin against his that while it’s juvenile to him would be so much to you. 
“you don’t know until you try, y/n,” he mutters lowly, looking up at him and seeing his gaze is, as usual, unrelenting. “have you ever been to a party before?”
of course you’ve been to parties before; birthday parties, graduation parties, wedding parties - but you’ve never been to a high school house party. 
and are you about to tell him that? absolutely not. 
“of course i have,” you mumble, a smirk on his lips because he can tell by the way you avert eye contact that you’re lying. “but it’s just... especially with kids from school who i don’t know? i don’t think it’d be fun, yeonjun.”
“but i’d be there?” he whines, something very uncharacteristic of someone who is known to be a bad boy. “isn’t that fun enough?”
you let out a groan as you frown again, tapping the notebook in front of you lightly as you meet his close gaze. 
“your test is next week, yeonjun. can you please focus on that right now?” 
it’s not until the next session that he thinks to use that to his advantage, supposing he can stand one more party without your presence as he smiles over at you. 
“let’s make a deal, angel.”
you know when he calls you that that you’re not about to talk about school or his test, looking over at him with a raised eyebrow. 
“if i get 100 on my test next week, you come to one of soobin’s party.”
you have to suppress a groan at the way he’s not letting up on this damn party, biting down on your lip as you do your best to give him a serious look.
“you should get the 100 because you want to, not because you’re trying to-”
his finger on your lips is the next thing you’re only able to focus on.
not the pounding of your heart or increasing anxiety at the thought of a party or  the fact that there’s more people in the library than usual today. 
you’re only aware of him touching you, a quiet “sh,” leaving his mouth that has your stomach fluttering far more than you care to admit. 
he meets your wide-eyed gaze and smirks at the look on your face. his finger presses down on your bottom lip gently, dragging it slowly and watching as it pops back up. 
there’s an almost pained look in his eyes that you can’t make out, his eyes never moving from your lips before meeting your gaze again. 
“i want a lot of things, y/n,” he says, his voice deep and gruff and making your heart pound even more as he looks to your mouth again. 
you feel your lower stomach swoop at the way he bites down on his bottom lip, his other hand ghosting over to rest of your knee. 
your uniform skirt comes just above your knees, becoming higher when you sit and perfectly exposing your tight covered legs. his large hand rests on your knee like it completely belongs there, like he’s gonna dare anyone to tell him it doesn’t belong there and to take his hands off you.  
“things i probably shouldn’t tell you yet so your pretty little face doesn’t become beat red,” he mumbles in your ear, his warm breath fanning onto your skin and making a shaky, embarrassing sigh leave your mouth.  
but just him realizing that makes your cheeks flush. everything about his closeness and his words and the way he’s just saying these things to you right in the middle of the library. 
the way his hand is slipping inside of your knee, fingers resting on the inside of your thigh that has some dirty, repressed part of you desperate to spread your legs just a little bit more for him.
feel more of his skin on you and heighten the feeling building in your lower half. 
“but i can assure you, none of them are an on my test. but if that means getting you to spend time with me outside of this fucking hellhole, i’m gonna do it.”
just as fast as his hand was on your thigh, it’s gone and cupping your face. holding on to your jaw as he makes you look at him and has a look of softness and amusement but also darkness and arousal. 
it probably has every bit to do with the fact you let out a tiny squeal when he did so, your eyes widening and legs now spreading apart ever so slightly. 
“do you understand now?” 
you should have the power here being his tutor but you don’t. you’re the cat and he’s the mouse, you’re the prey and he’s the predator and you’re not about to do anything to stop it. 
“ye-yes yeonjun,” you say, a groan almost leaving his mouth at you how compliant you are already. 
and it’s that reaction right there that has him skipping the party on friday and spending his weekend doing something he never thought he’d do his senior year - making flashcards and studying his ass off. 
you remember being incredibly proud when, two weeks later, yeonjun came to your session with his graded test paper in hand. 
he looked happy and accomplished and ready to take on the world, a warm feeling blooming in your chest at the look on his face.
“how’d you do?” you smiled up at him, your eyes soft and expression excited.
when he flipped the test over to reveal his 100% test, your first instinct was to raise your hand for a high five. it’s what you always did with the younger kids, praising them and sharing their excitement over a test that they worked incredibly hard on.
so when you did the same thing to him, quickly realizing he’s not one of your 7th grade students but an absurdly attractive man, your cheeks flushed and you stuttered out a “sorry.”
but he only chuckled lightly and high-fived you immediately, lacing your fingers from across the table before you could pull away. the action caught you off guard more than your nerdy high-five, eyes looking down to your conjoined hands before you gave him an incredulous look.
“what are you doing?” you squeak out, fearing that your hand’s about to get clammy and your heart may explode.
“don’t tell me you don’t remember our deal?”
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you realized before you even entered soobin’s house that you made a grave mistake. 
music was pounding through the open windows of the house and a few people were littered across the lawn. a drunken couple sloppily making out while another one fought about someone dancing with a stranger all before ten p.m.
you truly intended on never coming, telling yeonjun you seriously could not go through with this and had to flake out on your deal. 
but he’d been so proud of his test. not just because it meant you were coming but because it showed him he was actually capable - or at least, that was the story he told you.
and whether you were silly and naive to believe him was on you since now, you’re walking into a party looking like someone’s holding a weapon to your back. 
“so i’ll see you tonight, right?” 
you were still hesitant even during 7th period this afternoon, looking at yeonjun with a pained expression. 
“yeonjun... i really don’t know if i can do it.”
“why not? i’m gonna be there, just for you.”
you swallow down a bold, sassy remark that he’s gonna be there anyway, probably to remind your fluttering heart not to think too much into his comment. 
but is him being there enough to make you go? or is that scaring you more? seeing him outside of school, around his friends, in an environment where he can be even more bold and daring. 
after all, being in the school library didn’t stop him from creeping his hand up your inner thigh.
“i don’t just wanna follow you around all night and bother you like a lost puppy,” you whine quietly, knowing this was part of the deal but seeing just how impossible it is. 
“how could you think you’d bother me?” he asks, his head cocked to the side just as the bell ringing interrupts you. 
you let out a sigh as you stand to gather your books. you can feel his watchful eyes on you, attempting to ignore it as you silently get ready to go to next period. 
he mistakes you walking away from the table to throw out a stray sheet of paper as you leaving, quickly rising from his feet and pulling you back into him. your body collides with his before he presses you against the table, the library nearly empty as the loud chatter of students can be heard from the hallways. 
“were you gonna leave without answering me?”
his voice is deep and has a certain dominating darkness behind it, your eyes raising to his just in time to see him cock an eyebrow up. 
“i... i was gonna throw this out,” you answer dumbly, raising the crumpled up paper behind your back. 
he hums thoughtfully before taking it from your hand, crumbling it up and tossing it in the nearest garbage can. he misses but makes no attempt to pick it up, keeping you pinned between him and the table with no qualms about it. 
“you missed,” you point out obviously. 
a smirk crosses his lips as he lets out a hum, bringing his hand up to smooth out a piece of your hair. 
“i’m gonna ask again,” he mumbles lowly in your ear, his large body and deep voice quickly making your breaths quicken. 
“how could you think you’d bother me when i spent my entire weekend studying for that test?” he asks, his hands snaking down your body before gently resting onto your hips. 
him pulling you closer causes another shaky sigh to leave you, your low, warning mumble of his name only making him smirk. he shouldn’t like this so much, how you sound so sweet and flustered and are allowing him have you like this. 
“that was all for you, angel. not for me or the teacher or my parents or anyone else. just you. because i wanna hang out with you.”
you swallow the nervous lump in your throat as you raise your eyes to meet his, the playfulness that was in them turning the slightest bit dark. something in them making you lick over your lips as you try to calm your racing heart.
“you won’t even know when i’m there. how am i gonna find you?”
it’s the worst excuse you could have ever thought of but you’re not surprised since yeonjun was pressed against your body and breathing down your neck the way he was. 
he chuckled lowly like he also knew it was the worst excuse you could’ve thought of, taking your phone from the table. he slides it open and looks to you, his eyebrow raised when you just continue to stare at him blankly. 
then you remember, like every other teenager in the world, you have a lock on your phone.
“0319.”
he smirks at how easily you give it up, tapping a few buttons on the screen before handing it back to you.
“i put my number in there. text me when you’re there, 
so even with a pit in your stomach and anxiety coursing through your veins, you go to his new contact name and type out “i’m here.”
you’re faintly aware of the fighting couple’s voices growing louder, his deep groans mixed with her higher pitched whines causing you to look over. 
“i saw you touch her waist!” the girl yelps, her hands on her hips with a very obvious look of distaste. “so obviously you didn’t mind! maybe you should dance with her the rest of the night!”
“maybe i will, since you’re so god damn annoying,” he yells back, your lips falling into a frown. 
the girl meets your gaze and it’s then you recognize her as a girl in your grade. she’s from the popular group but is one of the nicer ones, always smiling politely at other students and listening to teachers during their lessons. 
she almost looks embarrassed to be caught in this scenario, a broken smile crossing her face before her boyfriend notices your gaze; you don’t recognize him, so you think he must be in yeonjun’s grade. 
“what the fuck are you looking at?”
your cheeks flush as you immediately snap your head away, quickly becoming scared and uncomfortable. you can hear her chastising him but just want to be away as soon as possible, the prospect of this drunk man cursing at you somehow worse than a house full of strangers.
yeonjun hasn’t answered your text but you still take a deep breath as you walk toward the front door, immediately hit with the scent of alcohol, b.o. and weed. there’s loud music blaring from the speakers and making the house vibrate, bodies littered throughout the house as they all talk loudly and dance.
your eyes scan the room for his pink hair, stomach sinking when you see no sign of him. 
is he even here yet? he told you he was coming at nine but could he be running late? or did he forget entirely, ignore your text as a joke and now you have to-
“hey. how do i know you?” 
the first thing you see is purple hair and you’re immediately thrown back into the crowded cafeteria all those months ago. when you so boldly went up to yeonjun with tears in your eyes and he was quick to pull you away. 
you remember the boy in front of you asking who you were, the same curiosity in his eyes now as you stand in his house looking extremely uncomfortable and out of place. 
“i... my name’s y/n,” you begin quietly, the boy barely able to hear you over the music and loud chatter. “i had to talk to yeonjun during lunch once so i went up to your table and-”
“well shit, so you’re her.”
there’s a smirk on his face and gleam in his eye, like he knows something you don’t. you cock your head to the side in confusion, watching as his smirk widens and he nods his head approvingly. 
“his tutor, right? he told me about you.”
“oh... yeah,” you say quietly, because yeah, that would make sense - his friends probably wonder where he goes during his free period now; there’s a few beats of awkward silence before he speaks up again.
“so what are you doing here?”
your cheeks flush and you wish you could blame the stuffiness of his house, looking to him as you stutter out that yeonjun invited you. 
“did he now,” he hums, his eyes roaming your face and stopping on your cheeks. he doesn’t know what exactly yeonjun wants from a girl like you but he has to be honest in saying he sees the appeal. 
“follow me then, sweetheart. you want a drink?”
you shake your head before following behind him, making eye contact with one too many intimidating boys and girls before landing on your feet. everyone’s in pretty heeled boots and crop tops, dancing and singing and grinding like they don’t have any cares in the world. 
like they’re not terrified and dreading being here, even with the knowledge that the attractive boy they may or may not have developed a crush on is lingering  around.
“oh, yeonjunnie,” you hear soonbin whine sarcastically, your eyes shooting up just in time to see his familiar black attire. his pink hair is poking out of his black beanie, the chain around his neck hanging low as he turns to look at his friend. 
“i found someone for you,” the boy says before yeonjun can respond, bringing you around to the front. 
you’re in the middle of both boys who tower over you and you’re not sure if you’ve ever felt more threatened; especially because when yeonjun looks at you, you’d think he didn’t know your name. 
because he doesn’t give you a hi or a smile or even a flicker of recognition in his gaze.
he looks at you and simply says, “well, shit, i didn’t think you’d actually come,” with such a handsomely conniving smirk, you’re not sure what to think in that moment. 
because it seems as if all your silly, irrational fears are coming true in this moment. very much like the movies you’ve seen and scenarios you’ve pictured where you’re humiliated at a party or by the popular boy. 
but his smile and his words seemed so genuine. he’s seemed so genuine getting to know you these past few months, how could he have faked it so well? 
the way your face drops and cheeks warm cause his heart to break a little, still all too aware of the questioning eyes and lingering looks thrown your way. 
“didn’t you invite her?” soobin questions, looking between you and him and noting how embarrassed you look.
“i did,” is all yeonjun responds. no rhyme or reason or answer as to why he did. just that he did. so it could very well be a joke. 
“well then, welcome, y/n,” soobin responds, reaching his hand out to you. “i’m soobin, in case we weren’t formally introduced.”
you give him a tight smile, yeonjun’s piercing gaze on yours as you take soobin’s large hand in yours. 
“nice to meet you.”
your voice is soft and shaky and brings more heat to your cheeks, wanting to die when soobin rips up one of his friends for you to sit on the couch.
“i don’t mind standing,” you insist, shaking your head and offering a small smile to the other boy.
“no, no, pretty girls shouldn’t stand,” soobin says with a smirk, catching the way yeonjun’s eyes roll and jaw clenches; it all goes unnoticed to you, though, too busy sitting down and looking at your hands nervously folded into one another.
“so y/n,” soobin says, sitting down across from you and leaning forward the same way yeonjun does during his tutoring sessions. “what’s it like to tutor this idiot?”
his words are laced with affection, as are his actions as he ruffles yeonjun’s beanie playfully, but they still make you frown. still make you wanna defend him in front of others and ensure that he’s not an idiot. 
“he’s great actually,” you say softly, lips pulled up in a soft smile. “very smart and learns fast. definitely not an idiot.”
you look to the boy to see him staring blankly at you, heart sinking in your chest; you’re becoming increasingly uncomfortable in this environment and a big part of it as to do with his attitude. 
you weren’t expecting him to be overly excited, kiss your feet upon seeing you arrive or proclaim an irrational excitement. but it kind of seems as if, right now, he could care less that you’re here.
“ahh, that’s cool then,” soobin smiles. “you’re a year younger than us, right?” 
you can only hum a small “mhm,” yeonjun’s gaze burning into your face causing you to look at him. 
it’s the same soft, wide-eyed look you give him during your sessions but right now, it’s making him feel far too unsettled. like people seeing him with you are gonna show them a different side to him he has yet to acknowledge. 
“why’d you decide to come?” he asks, not being able to stop the words; he already knows the answer, he basically begged you too. 
and because you’ve been nothing but sweet and soft to him, he’s not surprised when you don’t throw it in his face that he’s the one who enforced this. that he studied for nights to pass that test so you’d feel inclined to come. 
“i thought it’d be fun,” you say sweetly, i thought we’d be able to have fun outside of school like you claimed to have wanted. “i don’t really come to parties a lot.”
“i can’t imagine why, you seem really sweet and funny,” soobin says, a flirty smile on his face that makes a blush creep up on your cheeks; he’s so bold and confident, you don’t know both of them do it. “you should come to more.”
seeing that shade of pink on your cheeks from someone else angers yeonjun more than he cares to admit, throwing his friend a dirty look before growling at him to shut up. 
“why? she’s sweet, isn’t she? maybe i need to be tutored too,” soobin says, throwing a smile your way as he plops down in the spot next to you. “what periods are you free? maybe we can go out for lunch and have a session.”
“i... i’m not allowed to leave for lunch.”
that’s a school rule - only seniors are allowed to leave for lunch. but with the way soobin laughs and yeonjun hold back a smirk, the other people littered around also letting out soft chuckles, it appears that’s something not many people follow. 
“you can with me,” soobin assures, patting your knee softly as he sends another charming smile your way. “i’ll make sure you don’t get in trouble.”
you smile in an effort to downplay your embarrassment and discomfort, an annoyed sigh leaving yeonjun as he rises from his seat. he looks even more big and broad surrounded by these people for some reason, in his element where he fits in like a glove.
it’s even more evident that you don’t fit in here - at least in the library, that’s a place you belong. the quiet, the smell of books, the solidarity, a keen sense of-
“i’m getting another drink.”
yeonjun’s words are short and deep as he quickly gets up, hauling ass to the kitchen before anyone can even respond to him. his friend must see the look on your face too, a small pout on your lips that has the boy frowning next to you.
“don’t worry about him, he’s grouchy tonight,” soonbin says reassuringly, wrapping his arm around you affectionately. “some girl stood him up.”
the first thing you feel is a blow to your chest, an unfamiliar pain right in the center as you register soobin’s words; he begged you to come tonight but was waiting for another girl.
probably one of the many college girls, who are prettier and funnier and more charismatic than you.
so, really, you can’t be surprised. you were silly to think he liked you in the way you thought, in the way you’ve come to discover you like him because he makes you smile and laugh and feel warm inside.
but even so, you’re hurt.
you’re hurt and embarrassed and feel humiliated even though no one knows the real reason you came here and stepped way out of your comfort zone. thank god for that, you think, because it’d be even more horrible if people knew you came for yeonjun, all while he was waiting for someone else.
“oh,” you manage to squeak out, a soft look on your face despite the pain and embarrassment inside of you. “that’s too bad.”
“yeah,” soobin says, looking at you with sympathetic eyes you know you can’t trust. “he’ll be good, though.”
you bet he will, you think, because that’s just who choi yeonjun is. he doesn’t care who he strings along or makes believe is special - he’s gonna do what he wants when he wants it with no regard for how it effects other.
even a sweet little meek tutor he was able to get under his thumb the first day he met her.
when yeonjun returns, he can tell immediately that something is wrong with you. your hands are clasped together and you’re biting the inside of your cheek, fiddling nervously as you listen in on the conversation around you.
you meet his gaze and he’s quick to look away, one because he got caught and two because he doesn’t know if he can handle the look in your eye right now.
you’re always almost about to make him crack, break down into being someone worthy of you, and he doesn’t wanna do that tonight. doesn’t wanna show everyone here that, if he wants to, he can be a worthy person.
you’re a second away from breaking before soobin asks if you wanna dance, a tight smile on your face as you shake your head.
“i... i’m actually gonna go outside for a sec,” you say, knowing full well you’re gonna book it to your car and never return. “it’s hot in here. i need some air.”
“there’s plenty of air in here, angel,” soobin remarks, your eyes widening at the term.
it sounds different coming from his mouth, not as deep and melodic and it doesn’t let off a bunch of butterflies in your stomach. you’re too busy giggling softly as you shake your head that you don’t hear the deep, low noise of distaste leave yeonjun’s mouth.
you only see him grab soobin’s arm when he tries to get up to follow you, a lowly growled “let her go,” that makes your eyebrows pull together; you don’t know if he’s trying to hurt your feelings on purpose but he’s certainly doing it a lot tonight.
it feels like you can finally take a deep breath when you get outside, no one around except the chilly air and starry sky. it makes you feel a bit better, sinking down on the stairs and humming contently when your hands meet the cold concrete.
you passed by the dancing people and laughing, smiley couples inside and felt silly for coming here. silly for thinking yeonjun wanted you in his life without him getting something out of it.
what would he want from you anyway? what could you possibly give him when he’s already had so much better?
tears prick your eyes and you bury your face in your hands, taking deep calming breaths so the harsh winter air doesn’t feel like it’s burning you.
you avoided boys and feelings like this for so long and with good reason; you’re too sensitive and naive and always try to see the good in people.
you’ll put your feelings aside in order to spare someone else - you saw it in the beginning, pushing down your qualms about lying to the teacher to further appease a boy you found cute.
and when you put it like that, it sounds really fucking stupid. it sounds like, maybe, you’re just-
“didn’t i tell you you’re too pretty to cry over stupid things?”
your first instinct is to turn around when you hear his voice, his tall, dark figure looming behind you. 
you should probably smile shyly or say that you’re not crying but you can only stay silent, turning back around to avoid his intense gaze and your own humiliation. 
the same way he should probably go inside and carry on with his night the way he usually would. drinking and flirting and dancing before he probably brought someone home or into the bathroom. 
when he moves behind you, that’s what you think he’s about to do. 
but then he’s walking around your sitting frame and bending down to you, looking up at you from his crouched position. his hand reaches out to touch your face, forcing it up so you can only stare at him with teary eyes and flushed cheeks.
there’s a frown on his face as he runs his thumb across your cold cheek, his gentle touch a shocking contrast to his harsher appearance. 
“what happened?”
what happened? you think, not used to feeling so snarky and hurt. what happened was that he got your hopes up, was nice to you and invited you and kept making you feel special, just for them to come crashing down.
but then the more you think about it, the silence between you getting longer and longer, the guiltier you feel - because your feelings aren’t his fault.
you taking his looks and kindness and lingering touches for something deeper was a mistake. you know the kind of boy he is and have still been foolish enough to fall for him.
“nothing,” you grumble, a wet, humorless laugh leaving you as you shake your head. “i’m just being silly.”
but you can’t look up from your feet, your eyes roaming the cracks in the concrete, and that’s how he knows you’re lying; that, and because he knows he was being a fucking dick. 
but seeing you in this environment was weird for him. seeing people look at you and look at him, specifically soobin who got it out of him that he might like you, was unfamiliar for him.
the same way this was unfamiliar for you - which is why he wants you to talk to him. 
“what happened, y/n?” he asks, voice a tad bit harsher and deeper as he cranes his neck down. he hears your harsh, nervous intake of breath and resists the urge to reach out and touch you. 
you need to answer him before he can touch you. 
but you never do. not after ten seconds and not after a minute, prompting him to let out a sigh and pop his neck to the side. your face pulls into a grimace at the crack that sounds through the air. 
his cold hand touching your face causes you to jump, your eyes meeting and a lump forming in your throat; his eyes fool you too much and that’s exactly the problem here.
“talk to me, angel, c’mon.”
your eyes start to burn when a harsh wind passes, tears stinging your eyes and coldness rushing over your face. why does he have to keep calling you that? why does his voice have to sound so sincere and why does he have to look at you the way he is right now?
like he cares so much and hopes those tears aren’t because you’re sad.
“there’s nothing to talk about, yeonjun,” you blurt out, anger and humiliation seep into your tone before you can stop it. you let out a sigh as you try to get it together, taking a few calming breaths before shaking your head. 
“just go back inside, okay? i’m going home. t-thank you for inviting me but i-”
“i don’t want you to go.”
he blurts the words so loud and fast, it even sounds a little awkward to your ears. but he sounds and looks almost desperate, your eyebrows pulling together and heart sinking as you take a deep breath.
because you know you can’t stop the next words from tumbling out of your mouth.
“well, it doesn’t seem like you want me here.”
your words are soft and quiet but they still physically pain his chest, his eyes roaming your face as he brings them to your cold cheeks. he wipes under your eye when wetness forms, the cold biting wind rushing around you both. 
“i want you,” he reassures quietly, his voice just as low and gravely as he speaks hushly to you; he thinks it’s the most honest and true thing he’s ever said to someone. “i want you more than you know.”
“then why are you acting like that?” you question sweetly, the pout on your lips nearly making him groan and cover them with his. “you were being... mean. i felt like... you didn’t want me here at all. or didn’t want people to know you invited me.”
your words break his heart but he also knows they’re true, his fingers caressing your face gently. he notices then how freezing and red it is, looking you over and rising from his feet.
you look disappointed that he’s gonna leave, your face falling and eyebrows furrowing before he reaches his hand down to you. 
“let’s talk in my car,” he clarifies, nodding his head toward his vehicle. “it’s freezing out here.”
you bite down on your lip, contemplating it for a few seconds before another harsh gust of wind passes. you let out a sigh as you take his hand, grateful to enter his car the moment you sit down. 
he turns it on and the engine roars to life, his fingers reaching out to turn on your heated seat. 
the next few moments only consist of the car’s engine warming up as you wait for the heat to kick on, you and yeonjun stealing glances back and forth at each other; you both miss the others gaze by a few seconds and if anyone were to be watching, it’d be obvious you both were nervous right now. 
dancing along the line you’re both nervous to cross for entirely different reasons - you because you somehow don’t think he reciprocates those feelings and him because he knows you deserve more. 
but in this moment, he decides he has to be selfish. watching you with a flush in your cheeks and your lip drawn into your mouth.
“i like you, y/n. that’s why i wanted you here,” his voice says, breaking the silence in a way that almost seems more terrifying. “but that’s also why i didn’t... want people knowing.”
your eyebrows pull together and immediately your mind goes to him being embarrassed. embarrassed that you’re younger and quiet and that no one really knows who the hell you are.
he’s infamous and cool and a senior, obviously he should be with someone similiar. like a popular girl in his grade or a college girl or maybe even a the girl who stood him up.
“not because of you, angel, but because of...”
“you?” you interrupt, a snark in your tone neither of you except; but you’ve heard this line one too many times, not expecting to ever ever hear it real life, let alone toward you. 
“it’s not you, it’s me?” you ask, a gentle, faux smile on your face as you shake your head at him. “is that what you’re about to say?”
he clenches his jaw so he doesn’t smirk, resisting the urge to laugh as he looks you over carefully. it’s obvious your smile’s fake because it doesn’t meet your eyes, the teary glint in them every bit sad as they are frustrated. 
but of course, you’re too sweet to treat him as he deserves. 
his hand reaches out to grab your chin, his thumb and pointer finger on either side as he forces your gaze to his. his smirk comes through when he hears your sharp intake of breath, tongue peeking out to lick at his lips. 
“if you let me talk, angel, you’d know what i was about to say,” he hums quietly, his breath fanning into your face at his closeness. it smells of mint and beer, it should probably be gross but surprisingly isn’t.
his words successfully stir you into silence, partially from fear and partially because the look in his eye has caused you to grow warm all over; and once he sees that, he begins to speak again.
“i didn’t want people knowing because i didn’t want anyone fucking with you, y/n. because if they did, i’d have to ruin them and then everyone would see it.”
“see what?” you ask quietly, the air between you thick and buzzing as you hold his gaze. 
hold it so adamantly and intensely, you’re barely able to register him leaning closer. inch by inch by inch, until his lips are pressed against yours and you’re kissing choi yeonjun in the front seat of his car. 
you’re stiff and awkward and don’t really know what to do but it’s fine because he laces his fingers in your hair and pulls you closer. parts your lips with his tongue which causes you to kiss him back with a slow, unsure pace.
but it only causes him to smile, retracting his tongue and keeping it sweet before he pulls back and rests his head on your forehead. 
“why i decided to spend my free period during senior year getting fucking tutored, angel,” he chuckles lowly, his hand running through your hair gently. 
the soft look in his eye causes you to swallow nervously, words caught in your throat as you stare at him wide-eyed.
“i... i thought you... you said it was...” you let out a shaky breath as you try to get your thoughts together, completely unable to remember your conversation from weeks ago. when he cryptically asked you your thoughts about just why he agreed to stop lying to the teacher and do the sessions; 
so instead, your cheeks warm and you’re hit with the reminder that you just had your first kiss with him. and that you were probably absolutely terrible at it. 
“that was my first kiss. i... i’m sorry if it was bad.”
a small smile crosses yeonjun’s face as he shakes his head at you, thumb dragging down your cheek gently to feel the warm, smooth skin of your cheek. 
“it was perfect, angel, you’re perfect.” he mumbles, your eyes widening and heart stuttering as a ball forms in your throat. “so perfect that i thought you stood me up and weren’t coming. so let’s go on date. a real date, this time.”
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in the beginning of the school year, you would’ve never imagined your study sessions with yeonjun would be turning into dinner dates; but as you sit in your room and get ready, your heart pounding and palms sweaty, that’s exactly what’s happened. 
it’s the fourth date you guys are going on and you can officially say that you really, really have feelings for yeonjun. you’re still shy and nervous around him but it’s only because he’s more comfortable with you too.
he takes your hand with ease and laces your fingers together that he was meant to do that.
he’ll shamelessly peck a kiss to your lips and deepen it at any given time, your cheeks burning and embarrassed voice telling him to stop when he did it in the middle of the bowling alley last week. 
he’ll watch you and smile at you and just touch you with the softest of intentions, you almost can’t believe this is the bad boy everyone claims is so mean and heartless. 
you say almost because you still don’t do it in school. it’s still a somewhat... secret fondness you have for one another. he’ll play with your fingers under the table during sessions and wink at you in the hallway but that’s about it. 
he’d probably never kiss you in the hallway or cafeteria but you also wouldn’t want that. it would draw way too much attention and probably leave your face with a permanent, embarrassing flush. 
“are you going out?” you hear your mom ask, her head peeking in before a smile brightens her face. “aw, you look beautiful, y/n. yeonjun must be coming soon.”
the topic of dating had been undeniably embarrassing with your parents, mostly because they couldn’t believe you were showing an interest. but they welcomed yeonjun with open arms, insisting to meet him at the front door to ensure he was a nice boy.
and oh had he really showed you just how charming he could be. 
“mom,” you whine in embarrassment, her laugh echoing in your room as he throws her arms up defensively. 
“you guys be careful. it’s supposed to rain soon.”
you nod your head as you finish getting ready, smoothing over your hair once more before your phone vibrates against your desk. he texted you that he was on his way with a smiley face and heart, sending one back before looking at yourself in the mirror. 
you don’t know what the hell he sees you or why he likes you but you know if you dwell on it, you’ll talk yourself out of everything. convince yourself that this is all a joke and he’s gonna turn around and say he pities you. 
even though, when you brought this up to him, he was quick to calm those worries. 
“c-can i ask you something, yeonjun?”
you were walking home from the movies with your hands intertwined.
the cold, harsh winter had blossomed into spring, the night air growing less frigid; there was a still a bit of a chill but it was nothing a jacket and yeonjun’s warm body couldn’t fix.
“of course, angel,” he mumbles lowly, a small smile on his face as you stop in your tracks. he’s quick to follow, eyebrow raising and body turning so he can look down at you. 
he cocks his head to the side when you don’t speak for a few seconds, his lips falling into a pout as his hand tightens in yours.
“you okay?” he asks quietly, thumb tracing small circles into your skin. 
you lick over your lips nervously, feeling silly for the need to ask this question but it’s one you can’t help. it wracks your mind over and over again and it feels like you’re about to-
“why do you like me?” you blurt out, unaware you even said the words until you notice yeonjun’s face morph into one of surprise. 
his mouth opens and closes for a moment, brows pulled together as he tries to make sense of your words.
“i mean, what’s not to like?” he asks softly, taking you by the hips and pulling you closer to him. 
you’re in the middle of the sidewalk but there’s no one around, the sky dark and streets desolate as you both meet each others gazes - yours full of doubt and his full of confusion. 
“i... i don’t know,” you mumble sheepishly, looking down at your intertwined hands. “i just... it doesn’t really make sense.”
“why? because i’m older? because you’re smart and i’m not?” he teases, your panicked eyes immediately meeting his.
“no! more like the exact opposite,” you clarify as you shake your head. “because you’re popular and attractive and charming and i’m just.... not.”
his eyes roam your face and his heart sinks when he sees the doubt and nerves continue to grow. how you really feel this way about yourself and are pondering the idea that someone like him would want someone like you, when really, it should be the opposite. 
“y/n, i’m lucky that you’re settling for me,” the pink-haired boy laughs out, squeezing your hips reassuringly. “you’re good and sweet and so fucking beautiful. i wanted you the second i saw you, you know, but knew i shouldn’t.”
your eyes widen at his words, shock behind them that has a laugh bubbling from his chest. 
“in lunch. i noticed you the first day and thought you were an angel,” he says, the nickname he always calls you particularly getting the butterflies going tonight. 
“i could tell that you were good. you just have this.. aura, y/n, and i knew that i would taint it. i knew you deserved someone way better. because i’m not good like you.”
"yes you are,” you respond immediately, a frown appearing on your face as you shake your head. “you pretend not to be, but you are, yeonjun. i can see it.”
“you can see it because i wanna be good around you, baby. i wanna be someone good for you.”
tears prick your eyes as a lump forms in your throat, overwhelmed and unsure of how to respond to that. he smiles softly as he takes in your face, leaning forward to press his lips against your forehead. 
he inhales your sweet, vanilla smell while you take in his cologne and faint scent of cigarettes, swallowing down the lump and praying you don’t burst into tears on the spot. 
“don’t doubt yourself, angel,” yeonjun mumbles against your head, puling you closer until your flush against his warm, broad body. “i’m the one who got lucky here.” 
even though it meant wasting away in the fucking library. 
“the library isn’t that bad, yeonjun,” you whine ten minutes later in his car, heat blasting and music low as he drives to the restaurant. one hand’s on the steering wheel while the other’s laced with yours, your body turned in his black leather seat to look over and chastise him. 
he confessed to you that your sessions were the first time he’d ever stepped foot in that library; he hadn’t even been positive that school had a library until he walked through the door that day. 
“it smells like dust and the librarian’s a bitch.”
“she is not!” you squeal, smacking his arm lightly as you throw him a chastising look. “she’s just a little... misunderstood. people don’t respect her space.”
even you can admit sometimes she does go a little overboard; you saw her once lecture a younger student for a half hour because they mistakenly put a book on the wrong shelf. 
“you’re too nice, baby. maybe even a little biased, since you’re the only one she seems to tolerate.”
“probably because i’m there every day,” you tease lightly, your eyes widening playfully before a loud crack of thunder causes you to jump in your seat.
your mom hadn’t been kidding when she said there was gonna be a storm tonight. you’d ran to yeonjun’s car shielding the top of your head, rain pelting down and wind howling as your mom’s “be careful!” got drowned out.
and right now, it only seemed to be getting worse. 
“you scared of thunder?” 
you hear the smirk in yeonjun’s voice and resist the urge to stick your tongue out, not about to admit that, yes, you’re nearly an adult but still terrified of rain and thunder. 
“no, of-of course not,” you grumble, snatching your hand away from his. “it just surprised me.”
yeonjun looks over at you and sees the nervousness all your face, not commenting as he silently snatches your hand back. he intertwines your fingers as he raises your hand to his mouth, pressing his lips against it while he drives through the rain.
it’s getting considerably heavier by every second, his foot pressing off the gas every time he drives past a puddle. 
“i used to be scared of the rain, you know.” 
you look over at him and see him looking peacefully at the road, pink strands of hair hanging in his face. 
“oh, yeah? when you were like five?”
“twelve,” he corrects with a smile, doing his best to distract you from the chaos outside. “i used to wake up crying, sometimes. i know that’s hard to believe now. because i’m so cool and what not.”
“oh please,” you giggle out, the sweet sound filling the car also distracting him from the pounding of rain and crackling of thunder; he’s outgrown his fear of storms but even he can admit this one is a little bit scary right now. 
“what, you don’t think? i’ll have you know-”
the skidding of his tires mixed with your frightened screams is the next thing he hears, a strangled “yeonjun!” in the background as he attempts to take control of his car.
there’s the boom of thunder and lightning and loud blares of horns before everything goes still, his body acting on auto pilot as he safely pulls off on the side of the highway.
his first concern isn’t damage to his car or the heightening storm outside - it’s you in his passenger seat, eyes closed tight and tears on your face. 
“are you okay?” yeonjun’s voice frantically asks, barely able to feel the sensation of his his warm hands on your face. your heart’s pounding and your hands are shaking and for a moment, you thought you were about to die. 
your eyes pop open to meet his and the concern in them only makes your eyes water more, bottom lip trembling as you nod your head. 
but even though you’re nodding he sees you’re not. he sees you trying to catch your breath and your eyes looking back and forth nervously outside.
“hey, hey, angel. it’s okay. i’m here,” he hums lowly, his thumbs running over your face soothingly. “i’m here and you’re okay.”
you attempt to catch and slow your breaths as your eyes never leave his, his only leaving you to quickly assess you for injuries.
“i know that was scary. i’m sorry. i should’ve been more careful.”
“it wasn’t your fault,” you squeak out, swallowing the knot in your throat as you shake your head. your eyes roam his and you pout when there’s guilt and sorrow in his eyes, your own hand snaking down to hold his hand. 
“are you okay?”
his eyes soften as he cups your face and brings you to closer to him, a quiet “yes, baby,” leaving his mouth before he places his lips on your forehead.
you breathe in his scent and he breathes in yours, not allowing himself to pull away until he feels you relax under him.
“i’m gonna drive us to my house, okay?” he says, his eyes back on you looking cautious. “we can order food. i just don’t want us driving in this if it’s gonna get worse.”
you nod your head before reaching down to grasp one of his hands tightly, his small smile meeting you before he carefully pulls back onto the highway. 
the storm gets substantially worse as he makes his way to his house, hand grasping yours tightly as he drives slow and steady. 
he’s flooded with relief when he finally pulls in his driveway, running around the passenger side door to help you out. his hand doesn’t leave the small of your back until you’re in his room, a big space with white walls and black furniture that doesn’t surprise you in the slightest.
contrary to most teenage boy’s rooms, his smells really good. like a mix of his cologne, laundry detergent and a distinct smell you’ve just deemed as his natural scent.
it’s comforting and makes you feel at ease, licking over your lips nervously as you realize this is the first time you’ve been in a boy’s room.
“you want anything to drink?”
“i...i’m good,” you say, sitting on his bed as you look around.
there’s no decor on the walls except for a large flat screen tv across from his bed and above his dresser, a pile of clothes off to the side. 
“sorry, i didn’t expect to have anyone over so it’s a little messy.”
you look over at him sitting beside you, a sheepish smile on his face. you think it’s the first time he’s ever sounded somewhat... nervous and out of his comfort zone. 
maybe because he knows you’ve never been in this situation before. 
“it’s okay, i like your room,” you smile, spreading your fingers out across his soft, dark comforter. “it’s very fitting.”
“oh yeah?” he smirks, inching closer to you and making your heart speed up. “and why’s that?”
there’s that dark playfulness you’re so used to seeing swarming behind his eyes, just as teasing as it is intense that makes you hold back a squeak. he quirks his eyebrow as he moves closer, pink tongue peeking out to roll over his lips.
you can’t help when your eyes fall to them, missing the feel of them on yours. 
you two haven’t gone past making out, a clash of tongues and teeth that have you quietly moaning into his mouth. but when your body acts on its own accord, pushing yourself closer to him or grasping at the bottom of his shirt, he always stops you.
“what are you doin’ baby?”
you were in his car after a tutoring session, the parking lot of the school completely deserted. your cheeks flush and you immediately draw your hands back, lowering your head slightly as embarrassment took over. 
“i...i thought that was...don’t you wanna...”
because clothes come off, that’s how it starts - you know that much.
and you can feel how much he wants to go further, the hardness under you that scared you at first now the thing begging you to go further.
you feel wanted and desired and even though you’re scared, you want to go further.
“we don’t have to do anything, baby. this is fine,” he says softly, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek. 
“but i want to,” you mumble, not even sure if he can hear your words because of how quiet you are. 
you know he must though because he draws his fingers under your chin to lift your face, eyes heavy of fondness and arousal making your stomach flutter more. 
your first instinct is to assume he doesn’t want you - why else would he stop you? but you can see in his eyes that he does...right? because it really does look like that.
what other reason would he have to stop you though? maybe he just doesn’t-
“whatever you’re thinking is probably wrong,” yeonjun mutters, tightening his hold on you and bringing you closer to him. “i don’t wanna go further with you while we’re in the car, angel. you deserve more than that.”
“hm?” you hear him hum, ripping you from your memories. 
you look from his lips to his eyes watching you with lust, the beginnings of your nonsense words cut off when he kisses you. 
your heart flutters and stomach swoops immediately, kissing back with an embarrassing amount of fervor. he smirks against your lips as he pulls you on his lap, your arms circling around his shoulders.
his tongue traces your bottom lip before you feel it in your mouth, daringly meeting his back in a way you’d never done before. it causes him to bring his hands to your hips, squeezing and massaging them with his large hands. 
“look at you,” he mutters almost condescendingly, falling back onto his bed and causing you to squeal. you’re holding yourself above him and his eyebrow is quirked, red lips puffy and pink hair messy causing your heart to flutter mercilessly.
“if i didn’t know any better, baby, i’d think you’re real eager tonight.”
you bite down on your lip as you adjust yourself on him, your hips straddling his and brushing over him. your building heat is right under him and it takes everything in you not to moan at just the thought, his hands strong and firm.
and just as you’re about to answer, tell him that, yes, even though you’re not familiar with.... any of this, you’re eager and ready, your stomach growls and ruins the moment.
it causes a smile to light up his face, a deep chuckle leaving him before he flips you over. he’s hovering above you now, no parts of your bodies touching except for his hand a few inches away from your head. 
“or you’re hunger, my mistake, angel,” he says with a smirk, pressing a peck to your nose sweetly. “what do you want?”
you spend the next hour laying in his bed waiting for the pizza, the storm just as wild outside as it was when you were in the car. you bit down on a squeal threatening to leave your mouth every time there was a terrifying boom, your body shimming closer to yeonjun’s.
he smiled against your head and welcomed your body closer, bringing your head to his chest.
“you’re cute,” you hear him mumble, the swooping in your stomach causing you to feel warm.
you look up at him and smile shyly, tucking your head closer into his chest. you have to hide your growing smile when you feel his lips brush your head, deep content hums leaving his chest.
the doorbell ringing rips you two apart, his mumbled “i’ll be right back,’ causing you to sit up. you brush your fingers through your hair as you sit up, looking around his dark room and feeling something brewing in your stomach.
you feel every bit as nervous as you do excited and eager in his room with him right now. 
it’s still scary because you’re new to this. because you’ve never done anything like this before and you know you don’t know what you’re doing. 
but a part of you wants to kiss him on his bed. go further than he’s allowed you to because if he only didn’t want to be with you in the car, this should solve that problem, right?
you’ve never felt as desired and warm as you have with him these past months. no one’s ever looked at you the way he does or have made you feel the way he does. 
you’re usually too scared or uneasy to talk to people or form a connection; but from the moment you met him, you were able to do that. a part of you just felt inclined to help him, be a person that he knows would be there for him even if it meant in the form of helping him study or motivate him.
you never would’ve expected for him to reciprocate your feelings. nor would you have expected to be in this current situation, want and need bubbling in your stomach at the thought of yeonjun doing-
“pizza’s here,” yeonjun says, popping his head through the door holding a box of pizza. 
you smile upon seeing it, your stomach growling at the smell; if he hears it, he doesn’t say anything. just walks over and places the box on his bed, offering you a slice that you take immediately.
“thank you,” you squeak, bringing the food to your mouth.
he watches you for a few seconds, suddenly all too aware of him looking at you. you raise an eyebrow as you chew, a shy look coming over your face that causes him to smile. 
“what?”
“nothing,” he says, shaking his head as he takes out his own slice. “my mom called me and said they can’t come home tonight because of the storm.”
you take the time to chew your food as you take in his words, the fluttering in your stomach a mix of nerves and excitement. 
“oh.”
“yeah...” he hums, his eyes roaming your face; he doesn’t want his next suggestion to make you uncomfortable but he also thinks it would be best. for both of you. 
“and i don’t know if i should drive you home, angel. it’s supposed to get really bad. do you... wanna stay over?”
there’s a lump in your throat for all the reasons there shouldn’t be. 
not because this is your first time sleeping over a boy’s house or the fact that his parents aren’t home. or because you’re gonna have to call your mom and say you’re sleeping over a friend’s house.
or even because you don’t know what to expect tonight.
it’s only there because you know, in a new form of acting on your deeper desires and not suppressing yourself to just being some innocent girl, you wanna get railed.
“i... i guess i can do that,” you say, some nervousness still behind your voice because when it comes down to it, you’re unfamiliar with this situation. 
“well yeah, but do you want to, baby?” he asks with a small smirk, his hand reaching up to toy with your hair. 
his long fingers run through the strands before tucking them behind your ear, his hand slinking down to rest on your neck.
“if you don’t feel comfortable, i’ll take you home later,” he says, thumb running across your skin slowly. breath catches in your throat when he leans closer to you, his lingering scent and broadness causing you to bite down on your lip.
“i just thought it’d be nice to lay with you tonight. or wake up with you.”
“or let us go further since we’re not in the car.” 
you don’t know who’s more shocked by your words but you know you’re definitely more embarrassed, a rampant blush crossing your cheeks as you attempt to hide in his shoulder.
he’s quick to pull you away with a small “tsk,” the smirk on his lips quickly widening despite the soft look in his eyes. 
you bite back the noise threatening to leave your mouth when he wraps his hand around you hair, the slightest of stings ripping through your scalp when he pulls you forward.
“go further?” he asks lowly, his eyes peering down at you only making you feel more warm and flustered. 
words are caught in your mouth and you can’t find it in you to say anything. not only because you’re too embarrassed but you don’t even know what to say.
you know you want more than kissing and that there’s always a building pressure between your legs when he pulls you on his lap. 
you know on more than one occasion, you’ve wanted his hands that’d rest on your hips to go just a little further down. slip in the waistband of your pants and meet the wetness and heat through your underwear.
you’ve wanted to see his pink hair between your legs as you experience getting eaten out of the first time, holding back moans in the crease of your elbow as his tongue explores every inch of you. 
you know you want to look up at him with tears in your eyes and a heaving chest, ask if you can please suck him off because you’ve also never done that before. 
he can see the arousal and lust clouding your eyes the more the silence elapses, his cock quickly hardening as he takes in the sight of you on his bed ready for him to take you. 
it’s just a matter of how and when he’s gonna. how and when you tell him like the good girl he knows you are. 
“how much further are you thinking, angel?” his deep voice finally asks, successfully breaking the silence and building the thick tension. 
you let out a breathy exhale when he pushes you on your back, the knot in your stomach tightening as he looks down at your body. 
“what do you want me to do, huh?” he asks, the smirk and feeling in his chest growing when he sees you start to breathe heavily on his bed. your legs are nearly shaking from the build up in pressure, your tongue licking over your dry lips. 
“i... yeonjun...”
he bites back the groan threatening to leave his mouth at you moaning his name, holding himself above your body as he hand spays out against your stomach. 
“why are you moaning my name baby? i haven’t even done anything.”
“but... but i want you to. so bad.”
your voice is whiny and pathetic but it’s all it takes for him to snap, his hand moving from your stomach to between your legs. 
he can feel the heat and pulse of your pussy and has to suppress his own groan again, completely getting off on the feeling that you, the innocent little tutor he’s been wanting to ruin since he saw you last year, is laid out on his bed and dripping just for him. 
“please, yeonjun,” you whine again, completely out of your mind with lust when you feel his hand on you. 
he bites down on his lip before he starts gently running his hand over you, barely putting any pressure on you. he’s just relishing in the how only that makes you spread your legs immediately, hips bucking up closer to his hand. 
he pulls his hand away and pins your hips to the bed, his face hovering above yours before you can even whine again. 
“be patient, angel. or this isn’t gonna work,” he growls lowly, his thumbs running over your pants gently. 
“i- i’m sorry,” you gasp out, tears pricking your eyes because this feeling is so new and foreign and overwhelming. “i just... i’m so...”
“you’re so what?”
“i want you,” you say immediately, thinking back to your conversation with him outside of soobin’s house. when the words you’re telling him now are the same ones he told you. “i want you more than you know.”
a scoff leaves his mouth when you say that, remembering those words leaving his own mouth that night.
but the difference here is, he thinks, is that you really didn’t know that.
you didn’t know how just sitting there and smiling at him and talking to him so sweetly was making him want you. your soft smiles and vanilla scent and the wide-eyed look you’d always innocently give him.
but he’s aware of how much you want him, in this moment. he can feel it, smell it, see it. he knows just how much you want him because he wants you the same way. 
your pants and underwear are off in one shot, a gasp leaving your mouth when you realize you’re completely bare in front of him. 
he’s quick to look at your face to see if you’re okay, that teary wide-eyed look and teeth sinking in your lip greeting him; another whiney and mumbled “touch me,” leaves your mouth before he can ask.
a smile lights up his face that makes your heart jump even through this all, a teasing look in his eye even through the arousal and painful hardness in his pants.
“say please, angel.”
“please touch me, yeonjun. please.”
his fingers are on your clit right after the words leave you, your mouth hanging open and legs spreading when you’re immediately filed with a sense of some relief. 
“you’re so wet for me, angel. how long have you wanted this, huh?”
you babble out something you can’t even hear through your pounding ears but it must be something good and polite enough because you feel a finger enter you a few seconds later.
he hisses at the tightness around his finger and has to remember to be gentle with you, fingering you slowly and sweetly as he toys at your clit. 
“you’re doing so good, baby. so good for me.”
you cry out a moan that has his fingers moving quicker, curling them just right before you scream out his name; you’ve never ever felt anything like this before.
“yeonjun, oh, my god.”
“i know, baby, it’s okay,” he says, allowing his fingers to work over you and in you for a few seconds before he forces himself to remove them. your head shoots up and the sight almost makes him smile, a frustrated look in your teary eyes that has him cocking his head.
“why did you-”
the fingers just inside you are below your chin, the slickness of his fingers on your skin making you widen your eyes. is that... is he about to make you...
you hold back another moan when you watch him raise his fingers to his own mouth, his eyes rolling back when he tastes you. you don’t know if you’re a little grossed out or even more turned on but you think it must be the latter if the way your legs start to shake again and your lower stomach tightens. 
“you taste so fucking sweet, angel. can i eat your pussy?”
he could tell how scared you were when you first got here, not seeing a hint of that fear now but still needing to check before he pulls you on his face and has his way with you.
“y-yes, please, yeonjun, oh my-”
you can’t even get the words out before his hands are taking off your shirt, removing the straps of your bra and pushing them down until your boobs pop out. 
perky nipples spring into the air and he can’t stop the groan that leaves him, circling his tongue around each of them before he tells you to unhook it. your eyes meet his for just a few seconds before you reach out to take it off, quickly throwing it on the floor before you, without thinking, cover yourself. 
his eyes flash and he immediately snaps out of his trance, placing his hands on your arms but not attempting to move them. 
“what are you doing, angel?”
and it’s at this moment, something as silly as him seeing your chest completely naked, that you’re feeling insecure. 
you know he’s been with girls before this, college girls who definitely have bigger boobs than you and know what they’re doing. girls who are prettier and sexier and don’t blush or whine at the slightest hint of his touch of them. 
“i... i know you’ve been with prettier girls before. an-and i don’t think they’re that nice.”
“angel, i don’t know if i’ve gotten this across enough but you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever met,” he says, the sweetest words to ever leave his mouth not even making him blink.
because he needs you to know in this moment that you are. he can’t stand the insecure, fearful look in your eye that he’s not gonna find you desirable because you’re comparing yourself to other people. 
“that’s a lie,” you weakly mumble out, tears stinging your eyes because this is so stupid. now you’re ruining the moment and he’s not gonna wanna do this with you. you’re proving just how inexperienced and unfamiliar you are with-
“i don’t lie.”
your eyebrow raises and he can’t help but smirk, the realization that your whole relationship started off lying to your teacher making him let out a deep chuckle. 
“i mean i don’t lie to you, angel, i would never lie to you,” he says, reaching down to press a long kiss on your lips. it’s the most intimate kiss you’ve ever had with him, mouths parting on one another like you’re trying to get all your worries and reassurances out on one another.
him that you’re just as desirable as he knows you are and you that you really don’t know what you’re doing but you wanna do this with him. 
“you’re beautiful, baby, and if anyone’s not worthy of the other, it’s me.”
his words make your eyebrows pull together, the look in his eye one you’ve never seen before. probably the most vulnerable and honest you’ve seen him look at you. 
“but i’m gonna do my best to be, angel, so please... don’t think that,” he says, pulling your arms away from your chest. 
he feels relief flood through him when you allow him to do say, his head dipping again to place small pecks on your chest before taking another nipple in his mouth. 
he moans around you at the same time you do, throwing your head back against his pillow. your fingers lace through the back of his pink hair and you feel your pussy clenching around nothing, moaning out his name when his tongue carefully and slowly licks around the other neglected one. 
“you also have the sweetest pussy i’ve ever tasted,” he mumbles around your nipple, swirling his tongue around it one more time before grabbing your hips and throwing himself on his back. 
“so sit on my face, angel. now.”
you have no time to feel hesitant or insecure because, one, he pulls you up before you can do anything else and two, you’re far too eager to feel this for the first time. 
his tongue latching onto your clit causes you to moan out his name, trying your best to not buck your hips against his face. but his tongue feels like it’s everywhere, flicking at it your clit and up inside you and quickly making your legs shake around him. 
your hazy eyes look down and you see his own looking up at you, a hot arousal in them as you cover the rest of his face with your body. pink strands stick to his forehead and you bite down on your lip so you don’t scream, your eyes rolling back when he eats you out like a man starved.
he’s moaning against you and pulling you closer to his face, your hips bucking into his mouth as you whine out his name over and over. 
you’re so out of it and dazed with arousal and need that you don’t even think twice when an idea pops into your head. 
you buck your hips a tad harder than usual that he disconnects his mouth from you, about to ask if he hurt you somehow before you flip over on his face. your body leans over his stomach until your mouth is by the tight groin of his sweatpants, clumsily slipping down his boxers until his cock springs free.
it’s hard and red and looks completely neglected, screaming to be relieved by you.
so even though you have no idea what you’re doing, only guided by works of fiction and things you hear in the hallway, you wrap your mouth around the head of his cock.
you hear him growl at your name but only continue to suck him off, your tongue circling around him as your mouth moves up and down. you smile when he moans against your pussy just so moan around his a few seconds later, like he knew you were smiling against him at hearing that noise leave him.
he didn’t think he could get any harder than he already was but you continue to impress him and prove him wrong, his mouth working quicker on you to aid in his growing arousal. 
a loud moan of your name leaves his mouth when you deep throat him, a growled “fuck,” against your wetness that makes you whine against him. 
“i wanna fuck your mouth so badly,” he growls against you, wrapping his tongue around your clit just as you let out a strangled “please.” but he only shakes his head and continues his vigorous assault, sticking two fingers inside you that causes your scream to be muffled around his cock.
“you’re gonna come first, angel. i want you to come on my fucking face.”
and even though he already seemed to know it from the moment he met you, he sees that what he wants from you, he’s always gonna get. 
your lower stomach tightens before a feeling of euphoria consumes you, your legs shaking and hips bucking before an orgasm rips right through you. your head is leant against his head as you try to catch your breath, whining slightly when he pulls you off of him.
he lays you down gently on the bed before placing a kiss to your cheek. 
“you did so good, angel. how do you feel?”
“mmm.. that was the best thing i’ve ever felt.”
a deep laugh leaves him at your sleepy, dazed look, taking his shirt off so he can dab at your wet legs. you wince a little at the sensitivity and he mumbles an apology, laying on his back and opening his arms to you.
“lay with me, baby.”
a small smile crosses your face as you fall into his bare chest, sighing contently with your head resting over his chest. you can hear his heartbeat against your ear and feel his lips against your head, his fingers running over your arm slowly.
you’ve never been more comfortable and at ease than you are in this moment. even with the storm raging outside and the unknown parts of your relationship still coming, you feel happy. 
happy and safe and so stupidly content.  
“angel?”
you look up at him when you hear his voice break the silence, your chin against his chest as you meet his gaze. 
he smiles upon seeing you, his hand coming up to pat down your messy hair. 
“i like you. a lot.”
you bite down on your lip to hide your growing smile, daringly taking the first move to press a sweet peck on his lips.
“i like you, too. a lot, a lot,” you giggle out, the pink on your cheeks making his heart squeeze in his chest. “but i think you already knew that.”
“i was hoping,” he hums lowly, bringing you back into his chest. you smile against him as you inhale his scent, moving your body closer to him until you feel your leg hit a hard, fleshy piece of skin. 
your eyes widen and pulse quickens when you see he’s still hard and aching, the content look on his face completely disregarding it. 
“yeonjun...” you mumble, shamelessly staring at his dick a few inches from your leg. 
he peeks an eye open and sees you staring down at it, a sheepish smile crossing his face; he looks a tad embarrassed and you shouldn’t find it as endearing as you do. 
“sorry. it’ll go down eventually.”
eventually being when he gets up to go to the bathroom and jerks himself off. because there’s no way in hell he’s gonna go flaccid with you all naked and cuddled against him.
“you mean you’re not gonna fuck me?”
his eyes widen and cock twitches when those words leave your mouth, his hand falling to your jaw so you can look at him. his eyes roam your face when he sees the heavy desire building in your wide-eyed gaze, the perfect contrast of sweet and lustful that has him holding back a groan. 
“where did you learn to talk like this?” he hums lowly in your ear. 
you smirk against him before you bring your hand up to his mouth, his eyes searching yours. but you’re only staring back just as intensely, rubbing yourself against his leaking cock laying between you. 
“spit on it, please.”
he can’t even stop his groan from leaving him this time, painfully hard and ready to bust. you learned so fast what he likes and that’s when you’re both polite and eager.
“baby girl,” he moans, bringing his face down to place a messy, dominating kiss on yours. he pulls your mouths apart after allowing his tongue to explore your mouth, a string of spit connecting your lips. 
his eyes fall to your mouth before he’s tipping your head back, your hand clutching onto his shoulder and tightening when, suddenly, he spits in your mouth. 
your eyes widen but he smirks before you can say anything, wordlessly bringing your hand to his mouth and spitting on it as you so requested. you let out a shaky sigh, eyeing him warily before he gives you a nod.
it’s only then that you wrap your hand around his cock, watching as his eyes flutter shut and he leans his head back. 
“there u go, angel,” he hums lowly, your hand twisting over the tip before exploring down. 
he can feel your hesitance and unsureness but it only makes it that much more enjoyable for him, knowing this is the first time you’ve done this - although he does wonder how you knew to spit on it first. 
his words spur you on and you wet your hand again, twisting and turning on every ridge of his cock. his moans of your name cause wetness to gather between your legs, your eyes meeting his to see them right on you.
“please fuck me, yeonjun.”
you didn’t have to ask him twice before he pushed you on your back. he fumbled to take his sweatpants off fully, discarding them on the floor before pulling you toward the end of bed.
you look down at him with furrowed eyebrows before a loud gasp leaves you, his mouth back on your pussy before he slides two fingers in. he preps you again until you’re coming around him, his mouth hot around you while his fingers are curled and relentless.
“p-please, yeonjun. i wanna- feel you.”
“and you will, angel, i promise,” he says, pressing one last kiss to your swollen, wet clit before going up to your face. “you’ve never done this before, right?”
he knows it and you know it but he still needs to ask. needs to know he’s gonna be the first person to take you and ruin you. 
“no,” you immediately respond, shaking your head as tears well up in your eyes. 
he responds by smiling, placing one last long kiss on your mouth before cupping your face gently.
“it might hurt, okay? i’ll go as slow as you need.”
you nod your head as you relax on your back, looking down to see him positioning himself between your legs. he swirls the tip of his dick around your wet clit and opening, watching as your dripping hole tries to suck him in.
“holy fuck,” he growls out, “you’re so wet, baby. it’s gonna feel so fucking good.”
you whine unintelligible words but he knows to just soothe you. bring his hand to your waist and rub slowly as he promises to be in you soon.
the stretch at first in painful and unfamiliar, your face pulled into a grimace despite the deep groan leaving him.
“oh, angel,” he growls lowly, his dark eyes meeting yours to see your face twisted in pain. “are you okay? does it hurt?”
“y-yes, but it’s okay. just... slow,” you say quietly, nodding your head reassuringly. 
he hovers over your face as he inches himself in further and further, your breaths shaky and body tense as the pain worsens. 
“i’m sorry, baby, you’re doing so good.”
you nod your head and he kisses away the tears, a sigh of relief leaving you when he stops moving. he’s still inside you for a few seconds, allowing your tight walls to adjust around him before he starts moving.
it takes a few thrusts for the burning pain to subside, replaced by a full, warm feeling that had you moaning quietly into the air. 
“does it feel good now, baby?” you hear yeonjun ask, his thrusts speeding up as his body lays over you. “do you like my cock in you?”
“y-yes,” you mumble out, throwing your legs around his waist. 
he growls lowly as he starts fucking into you, keeping his pace steady and just hard enough to make you lose your mind; because he doesn’t wanna hurt you but you also feel so good, he can’t help but chase after his orgasm.
“tell me you’re mine.”
“i-i’m yours, yeonjun,” you whimper out, his hand coming down to your clit making you cry out again. “i’m yours. yours, yours, yours,” you repeat dumbly, having no sense of control over yourself as an immense pleasure builds inside you. 
he thrusts into you hitting a certain spot that has a scream leaving your mouth, a sadistic smirk on his face.
“that’s right, angel. you’re mine. you’ve been mine ever since i saw you last year,” he growls lowly, remembering the first time he saw you and knew you were gonna somehow effect him like this. 
“i wanted to ruin you then, baby, because i knew you’d be mine.”
“yeonjun,” you whine, thrusting your hips into him at his words. remembering all the times he caught you staring at him. all the times you’d watch him and thought about how handsome he was.
how someone like him would never want someone like you. 
but he wants you and you want him and it’s still something you can’t quite believe. you know you’re both different but it seems to be something that works, him bringing you out of your comfort zone and you making him wanna be someone better.
“i’m gonna come, angel,” he grunts out, “i’m gonna fucking come. come with me.”
you feel the knot in your stomach unravel before you’re both moaning each other’s names, chests heaving and his breathing harsh as he holds himself lazily above you. 
he drops his head into the crook of your neck, attempting to catch his breath despite the feeling of your post orgasm spazzing around him.
the pounding takes a few seconds to subside, a final moan leaving him before he pulls out of you. 
he’s quick to collapse onto his back, hanging his arm off the bed lazily as he searches for his shirt. 
he cleans you up a few moments later, watching you with a small smile before he pulls you down onto him again.
“how was that?” he mumbles quietly, his eyes closed and head resting atop yours. 
“really good,” you mumble back, your own eyes closed as you attempt to catch your breath. you still feel a little sticky but it’s not something you mind in this moment, your post orgasm daze leaving you content. 
it could be the post orgasm daze making you say the next words that leave your mouth. on such a high of emotions and endorphins and utter contentment that the warm feeling in your chest if confused.
or maybe it’s the months of getting to know the boy beside you who had such a bad reputation. who you were terrified of at first and thought was mean an scary, thought for sure he was gonna find you weird and nerdy.
but you’ve never felt more wanted or desired by another person. no one’s ever looked at you the way he’s looked at you before or made you feel the way he’s made you feel. 
“i... i think i love you, yeonjun.”
love had always scared yeonjun and especially hearing a confession like that after sex - it had always been his worst nightmare and, truthfully, an embarrassing moment.
but he’s never felt as listened to and comforted by someone else ever in his life before. someone who, from the second he met them, trusted him and thought of him to be good and smart and capable. 
he didn’t know why and he didn’t know what he did for you to think of him that way but he knows he’s never gonna take it for granted. because from the second he saw you, he really did know you were gonna be his.
“i think i might love you, too, angel.”
5K notes · View notes
kaitsawamura · 4 years ago
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would you like to stay forever?
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SUMMARY⎮   Sparring with Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro in his private gym at his home doesn't seem like a bad idea if you don't count the fact that you really, really like him.
STATS⎮ minors do not interact, 18+ ⎮  Rating: M (for mature)  ⎮  WC: 5525  ⎮   Pairing: Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro x Fem!Reader  ⎮   Tags: Aged Up Character(s), Friends to Lovers, Sparring, Smut, Fluff, Age/Experience Gap (if you really squint)  ⎮  AO3
NOTES⎮  Thanks to @spacelabrathor​ for listening to me scream about this and to @some-kindofgnome​ for fueling my Kiri fever dreams.  Yes, that title is based on a Mulan quote. This whole fic was based on THIS POST and Kirishima seemed like the perfect character for this pwp.  Hope y'all enjoy!  (Also please for the love of God, click on the banner to see in HD if you’re on mobile, it looks so much better lol)
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It was Saturday and even though you’re on your way to becoming a Pro Hero, you can think of several things you’d rather be doing with your one day off than going to Kirishima Eijiro’s house to spar.  But here you are pulling into his driveway, going over combat moves in your head as if your life depended on it.  They weren’t really serving their purpose which was to distract yourself.  Kiri had offered up his personal gym, encouraged you to stop by with one hand in his pocket and the other rubbing the back of his neck as if he was nervous.  
A couple of his friends had already taken him up on the offer.  You were the only one he’d offered who hadn’t come over yet.  He had texted you a couple of weeks later saying he was starting to take it personally…  and then immediately texted with a laughing emoji just to clarify he was only giving you a hard time.  It brings a smile to your face now as you remember it.  Yesterday he had also clarified it would just be the two of you if you were self-conscious sparring in front of other people.  You’d have the whole place to yourselves.  Like that should mean something.  Which it did.  It does , you realize with butterflies growing in your stomach.  Kiri doesn’t need to know that though.
The two of you had been toeing around something since you had been hired at Fatgum’s Agency a year ago.  Neither of you had made a move.  Kirishima, the Red Riot, was a big Pro Hero and while you took pride in your quirk, it didn’t hold a coin to some of the others you’d come in contact with.  It had surprised you when Toyomitsu had brought you on.  But he had mumbled something about “liking your spunk” and that he thought a teleportation quirk would be a useful one to add to his agency.  The first day you had shown up, Kiri had immediately caught your eye.  Not for the obvious reasons.  Obvious reasons being the fact that he was climbing the Pro Hero charts or the fact that he had a dynamically interesting quirk or that at twenty-five he was already built like a brickhouse. 
Those were all valid reasons, yes, but what had pulled you in was his smile and his genuine interest in you outside of your quirk.  But he was just like that you had quickly discovered.  He knew everyone’s coffee order and what they liked for lunch.  He knew when to push and when to back off.  He knew when to talk and when to listen , knew when he still had a lesson to learn.  The kids flocked to him.  Even now you’re still entirely convinced that’s actually his quirk, getting people to like him.  It’s not a difficult thing to do though.
Your brain stutters back to the present when a text notification pings from your cell phone as you sit in Kiri’s driveway, picking at non-existent lint on your gym shorts.  The cute ones you’re still convincing yourself were your only clean pair and that’s the only reason you wore them.
KIRI : i saw u pull up, u gonna come in or what 😂
Had he been waiting for you to get there?  You tapped out a quick response, one that hid the little flip in your stomach at the thought: creeper, you were watching for me lmao
Response bubbles immediately flash on your phone screen but you’re angling out of your car and shutting the door before he can reply.
Somehow, this house fits Kiri perfectly.  It isn’t big.  You had seen pictures of other top-ranking Pros’ houses.  Enji Todoroki’s house, for example, was fucking ridiculous.  But even without a massive floor plan, Kiri’s house is nicer than any you’d been in for some time.  Clean, straight lines and lots of windows.  In fact, you can see straight through the floor-to-ceiling windows out to his backyard when you reach the front door.  Is that a pool ?  Kiri had tons of fun showing pictures at the agency; it was a well-deserved investment for his already multiple years of service as a Pro.  The pictures hadn’t done the place justice though.
Kiri comes to the door, throwing it wide open with a huge grin that shows off his sharp teeth.  You ignore the way your mouth goes dry as he drags you in, babbling on like an excited little kid at you actually coming.
“I really thought you were gonna back out!  I mean, that would have been fine, of course.  I just can’t see the point of having the whole place to myself all the time.”  He’s irresistibly cute, walking around showing you the living room and the kitchen and pointing out to the backyard where, yes, there is indeed a pool.  “You can come over any time and use that too if you want!”  You thank him, warmth pooling in your stomach at how incredibly nice he is.
“Uh, we should probably get in the gym.  I have… stuff to do later,” you finish lamely.  You don’t have anything to do later but very quickly you’re realizing how far out of your depth you are here.  The familiar beginnings of the head over heels fall is washing over you in steady waves.  But you’re coworkers and the thought of coming to work every day and having to see his adorable face and not doing anything about it is almost making you nauseous.
“Oh, yeah, it’s just down the hallway,” he rumbles, leading the way and you follow trying and failing miserably to calm the nerves flashing through your veins.  You’re here alone with Kiri , the man you’ve been crushing on since you’d started working with him a year ago.  And now your stupid brain isn’t just thinking about what it would feel like to run your tongue along his teeth or how his hands would feel between your legs.  No, your stupid brain is thinking about what Kiri looks like when he first opens his eyes in the morning.
Your one-track mind is not getting any help, especially when Kiri walks through the doorway of the gym addition and immediately proceeds to pull his shirt up and over his shoulders and tosses it to the side.  Shit.  His back muscles ripple with the movement and when he turns to face you, it’s heart-wrenchingly obvious that he has no idea the effect he’s having on you.  He has to know .  Doesn’t he?  From your end, it seems wildly obvious that someone as good-looking as him should know .  
You glance around, eternally grateful for the fact that the gym is also attractive.  Floor to ceiling windows span two of the walls here as well and there’s a large set of French doors leading out to the yard.  You find yourself actually in awe when you get a better look at the landscaping.  It’s so green .  There’s a small patch of lawn but the rest is just artfully arranged native flora and fauna.  Violets, tulips.  Huge hosta plants.  And cherry trees heavy with their signature sakura blossoms.  
“Kiri, it’s beautiful!”  He comes to stand beside you, looking out the French doors as well.
“You like it?  I guess it is pretty nice, huh?”  You glance up at him, your chest expanding on a lurch looking at his smile.  You’d never noticed before but he has a light dusting of freckles across his nose.
“Yeah, really nice.”  You look out again, letting the silence grow until it feels like the most comfortable thing in the world.  After what seems like an eternity Kiri clears his throat, rocking back on the balls of his feet.  “What are you thinking for today?”  The question leaves your lips and you’re immediately regretting it; your stomach flips again when Kiri looks at you like you’re prey.
“Close combat, hand-to-hand combat.  You did mention a while ago you wanted to strengthen that, right?”  You throw your head back, rolling your eyes, and groan.  The two of you make your way to the center of the mat.
“Yeah, I mean, I’d be scared to take me on too,” Kiri says, large hands on even larger hips.   He isn’t as tall as some of the other heroes at six foot three inches but he’s wide , thick.  You know for a fact you couldn’t wrap your arms around his waist and have your hands meet.  He’s wearing the biggest shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen.  The sharpened points of his canines are out and on prominent display.   Famous last words you think as a snarl erupts on your face.
“I’m not scared , Kiri.  I just don’t want to wear you out .  You’re a Pro Hero.  You’re on the job a lot more than I am.  Plus, you’re getting kind of old.  Is that a little gray I see coming in?”  Kiri bares his teeth even more but it’s not lost on you that he quickly reaches up to rake his fingers through his hair.  There isn’t any gray, obviously , but the thought has Red Riot distracted.  Distracted enough that when you plant your feet and your fist connects with his face, your knuckles hit skin and not the reinforced rock of his quirk.
“ Shit.”  Kiri takes a step back, reaching up to cradle his jaw.  His tongue swipes out to lick at the blood on his bottom lip.  His vermillion eyes find yours and if you didn’t work with him on a regular basis, you would have felt fear at this moment.  You know he wouldn’t hurt you but even now, a thrill races through your veins like electricity.  He looks as if he’s going to devour you.  You take your own step back, readying your quirk, reaching out to it as your fists hold their position in front of your body.  A dark chuckle spills from his chest as Kiri calls on his own quirk.
Now it was your turn to be distracted; you had always been fascinated by Kiri’s quirk, the way his body looked when it hardened up.  The ripples of muscle still visible under the toughened skin.  The divots and ridges and how they mapped their way across his shoulders and chest and abdomen.  You knew how it felt to the touch in fake combat.  The Fatgum heroes all took pride in maintaining a healthy routine; sparring was a common workout that was previously done at a local public gym.  You wonder absently what it would feel like to touch him slow and at the moment.  When you could give extra attention with extra time. 
Kiri closes the space between the two of you at the moment your mind strays and you barely are able to teleport out of the way to avoid him crashing into you.  You try to take a swipe at him as you materialize from in front of him to behind but this time he’s ready for you and he’s using his quirk.  Instead of moving out of the way, he plants his feet and allows your punch to hit.  Pain radiates up through your fingers and wrist.  It always irritated you that you had to prepare yourself to strike Kiri when he was using his quirk.  Otherwise, you’d be in for a whole lot of hurt every time you landed a punch.
Teleportation is a pretty handy quirk.  It gives you a pretty good advantage the more you work on your close combat skills.  The trick with Kiri was to keep going at him until he ran out of energy.  You hadn’t gotten to that point yet; your quirk had its limits as well.  You were only two years out of UA, Kiri was out by seven.  His strength was already fairly unmatched; sparring with him was always good practice.  You relish the thought of the day you can win a sparring session without tapping out.  It surges through you like pure energy.  
You teleport to stand in front of him again, shifting your weight into your hips and up through your right hook.  This time your fist connects with Kiri’s side and he lets out a small grunt.  Your fingers don’t hurt so bad this time and by the time Kiri is retaliating, you jump back a few feet.  He hmms, a sound that reverberates from his chest.
“That’s all well and good but how do you expect to do anything if you jump that far away?”  He lunges forward at a running start, leaping at the last second, sending his gloved fist into your stomach.  You were fast, but still not always fast enough.  You double over, the air rushing from your lungs and your pre-workout protein smoothie threatening to exit back the way it went in.  Sweat is already beading on your brow and sliding under your tank top.  You take a few breaths through your nose when an idea pops into your head; you stay bent over.  “Hey, I didn’t hit you that hard.  You good?”  
Kiri comes to stand in front of you, leaving him vulnerable.  He can’t see your smirk until it’s too late.  You wail on him, using some of the basic combos he’s taught you before today.  Satisfaction rolls through you when he actually takes a step back.  But then he puts his arms up in front of him, clenching his abdomen and bending inward to protect his core.  He drops just a fraction and before you realize what’s happening, he’s swiping his leg out to push through yours.  You watch in slow motion as you see his laughing face then the ceiling of the gym as you flip and land on your back.
If you thought you were out of breath before…  “Fuuu-.”  It’s a wheeze that feels like it’s ripping your chest open.  You’re seeing stars.  Kiri stands over you, hands on his hips again.  You stare at his face; the hero has his hair pulled back into a bun.  You snort, rolling your eyes.  Why does he still look so fucking good?  The sweat has caused some of the pieces falling out of his hair tie to curl.  His hair has curl to it?  You’ve never noticed before, considering he always gels it into spikes.  You like the curl.  “Are you--are you gonna help me up, or what?”  It was still painful to talk.
Kiri tilts his head to the side, just slightly, and crosses his arms.  “I’m thinking not.  Last time I let down my guard you got those good combos in.”  You stare in stunned silence, sitting up so you’re supported by your elbows.  Kiri shifts slightly and if you didn’t know better, you’d say he’s backing up to… get a better view.   
“Is that any way to treat your student,  Red Riot?”  You know you get under his skin when he clicks his tongue against his teeth and holds out a hand with a begrudging eye roll.  He pulls you up with ease, quickly enough that you almost lose your balance, swaying into his space.  You look up, eyes moving back and forth between his.  
He draws in a breath and drags his bottom lip between his teeth.  “First of all,” he says as he places his hands on your upper arms, “I’m not your teacher.  I’m not that much older than you.  Secondly,” he mutters as he tucks a stray lock of hair behind your ear, “our relationship isn’t that formal is it?”  He’s so fucking close.  This is getting dangerous.  Dangerous because Kiri is within kissing distance.  Dangerous because this gentle side of him is making you lose more breath than falling on your ass.  Dangerous because the thought of Kiri taking you on the floor right now is almost too much to bear.  
So you fall back on what you’re here to do.  Fight.  You flash him a wicked smile before rallying your quirk and teleporting a few feet away.  His hand is still raised in mid-air and when his head whips to look in your direction, his crimson eyes are narrowed and his nostrils are flared.  He laughs and rolls his neck, dancing on his toes.
“Okay.  I see.  I’m not gonna go easy on you, you know?”  You snort and put your fists up in front of you again.
“As if you were going easy on me before, Kiri.  Bring it on.”  He smiles, the sharp points of his teeth enough to make your thoughts swerve again before you bring them under control.  “Bring it on,” you whisper more to yourself as you brace for the fight.
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Two hours later, you feel the strain in your muscles.  Your quirk is running low on reserves and you know you won’t be able to use it much more.  Kiri looks like he hasn’t wasted a breath but you can see he’s getting tired in the way his feet don’t move as sharply.  And if the length of time he’s using his quirk is any indication to his state of mind, you know the two of you will be calling it a day soon.  But you’re also both stubborn.  And you’re dying to get one more good move in on him.
The cockiness the two of you had at the beginning of the sparring session hasn’t gone away but has burned hot into determination.  No more smiles, only clear-headed concentration.  The two of you are an arm's length from each other, throwing various punches and switching quickly between using your quirks and not.  You’re breathing hard, sweat gathering at your brow as you throw another right hook that Kiri easily blocks.
“Get out of your head.  You can be too predictable sometimes.”  He doesn’t mean for it to come across as rude but the words strike a match to a guttering fire.  You bare your own teeth at Kiri even though they aren’t sharp and probably don’t look nearly as threatening but it helps you feel powerful nonetheless.  You drop without a second thought, lowering to your palms and sweeping your leg out in front of you in a wide arc.  A grin spreads across your face when your calf meets Kiri’s ankle.  He’s too physically dense for this move to work if he had seen it coming.  But he doesn’t.  And his solid 220 pounds of muscle falls hard.  
You allow yourself the satisfaction of the moment for only a split second; Kiri’s recovery time is much shorter than yours so it isn’t long before he’s scrambling forward.  He goes straight for your wrists to subdue you but with a smirk, you realize in his haste he’s put himself in the perfect position for you to possibly gain the upper hand.  You scoot up away from him just enough to drag his arm forward and swing your legs around his neck.  Then you elevate your hips and lock your core.
It’s over from there as you squeeze with every last ounce of strength left in your body.  It doesn’t take long for him to tap out.  You release as soon as you feel his loose hand tap your arm; he collapses over you and you’re too tired to move away or push him off.  Now his breathing is rough and you feel a surge of pride.  You reach up and place your hand on his head where his bun has come undone; he’s so heavy but it doesn’t feel bad.  In fact, the feel of Kirishima resting his head and upper chest on your stomach is feeling nothing short of good .  He’s still between your legs and suddenly the air is crackling with a new kind of energy when you gently comb your fingers through his hair.
He rises up, his hands on either side of you.  His hips rest between your legs; the mingled heat radiating from both of you is almost more than you can take but there is no way you’re going to move anywhere.  He leans forward, so close you can see the flecks of burnt orange in his eyes.  If you moved forward just a little, you could close that space between you.  He leans down more, his mouth right next to the shell of your ear.
“Maybe not always predictable.  You did good today.  Probably some of the best fighting I’ve seen from you so far.  Keep it up.”  He grunts, a shift of his hips allowing the curve of his cock to brush against your clothed sex through his gym shorts.  He stiffens in what you think might be embarrassment.  “Shit, sorry, let me just, uh--”  The stuttering mess he becomes right before your eyes makes something lurch in your chest; you reach for his face without thinking.
“Kiri,” you whisper, rolling your own hips against his.  His cheeks are burning a shade of red almost as vibrant as his hair.  You bring up your other hand, holding his face between them and bringing him down to settle over you once more.  Your lips meet his; he seems to war with himself for just a moment.  A suspended second in time.  But then he gives in, slipping his tongue against yours in a delicious sliding vision of what’s coming.
He reaches between you to slip his hand under your tank top; his hand is big and nearly encompasses your side.  But it’s warm and gentle.  Gentle.  Who would have guessed that Red Riot could be so fucking gentle?  But he is and when his hand moves lower to slide below the hem of your shorts, you give yourself to him with no reservations.  His middle finger passes through the mess of your sex; a hissed breath rattles through his chest as your back arches on a ragged groan.
“ Shit.  You’re so wet .”  He slides his finger back and forth, gathering your slick on the thick digit.  He takes his hand away and you mewl.  “Can I?”  He asks breathlessly as he hooks his hands on the hem of your shorts.  You nod, eyes half-lidded.  He pulls them down along with your underwear and the way he looks at you, at what’s between your legs, you don’t even have the wherewithal to feel self-conscious.  Adoration.  It’s the only word you can think of and it makes you wonder if you’d made a mistake waiting so long.
He’s on his knees when he takes your legs and drapes them on either side of his hips; this time he doesn’t hesitate in slipping his finger into your cunt.  You nearly see stars just from that and if one finger is any indication, you’re in for it.  Slowly, he adds another, his hand pumping into you in a steady rhythm.  You’re grabbing for the ground, grabbing for him as a strangled noise pushes from your throat.  He reaches out with his other hand to splay it across your sternum and it’s the only thing anchoring you as he adds the third finger before scooting down to put his mouth on your clit.
“ Kiri,” you keen, shoving your hips into his touch, frantically scrabbling for his wrist that’s on your chest just to have something to hold on to.  He’s done this before, he’s had to.  He’s too good.  Too fucking good.  Already there’s coiling in your gut as incomprehensible words tumble from your mouth.  “Shit.  Shit.  Kiri I’m--I’m gonna--”  He rumbles approvingly against your clit; the vibrations send you closer and closer to the edge and when it crests, your back arches near pain as you cry out, your voice echoing in the gym.  It’s deep, roaring through all of your limbs but  Kiri keeps going, fingers still pumping, tongue still swirling around your sensitive nub.
Another orgasm breaks over you sharp and quick and the overstimulation has your legs quaking as your arousal gushes over Kiri’s hand and tongue.  But then he’s moving again, and you’re blearily aware that he’s shoving his own shorts and boxers past his hips to free his cock.  You stare as it bounces back to sit near the planes of his stomach; it’s already leaking steadily with precum.  Kiri looks back at you and when your eyes meet, you dart your tongue out between your lips to wet them.  Another time, maybe.  
Kiri leans forward to lift you up and the closer you get you can barely see any red in his eyes; his pupils are blown, his nostrils flared as he lifts you like you weigh nothing .  He could snap you like a twig.  But he won’t.  You know without a doubt this is the safest you’ve ever felt, even as he lowers you slowly over his cock and it does feel like you’re being split .
“ Fuuuck…”  You wrap your legs around him, your mouth dropped open, your hands gripping his shoulders.  You try not to dig your nails in but it’s almost impossible with how you’re being filled.  You knew Kiri was big but this was almost too much.  His forehead drops to yours as he pants.  But he’s not moving, won’t move until you tell him to.  It makes your heart ache and your cunt floods, drunk on the affection thrumming through your veins.  You roll your hips experimentally and the friction is bliss.  “Oh fuck, ohfuck.”  You move again, pushing yourself up and back down, listening to the hitch in his breathing.  “ Kiri, please, ” you whisper.  Those words… they’re enough.
Kirishima grips you by the hips, his fingers splayed and digging into the flesh; it’ll leave bruises and the knowledge cracks through you like electricity.  Let him leave marks.  Let him leave them everywhere.  He’s moving you up and down his cock, grunting, mumbling.  “Tell me, Kiri, tell me.”  His eyes meet yours again and his own mouth drops open.
“Fuck, you’re so good.  S’ tight.  Jesus, I-- ” Kiri moves his hands from your hips to support you as he lays you down on the floor of the gym.  The idea should be questionable but it’s not, it’s fucking not and you can’t concentrate on any other thoughts when Kiri grabs your wrists and pins them gently above your head with one hand while the other comes back to your hip.  He thrusts into you at a brutal pace but… it feels like home and you think in that moment as your cunt begins to seize around his cock that you would give up forever to continue touching him.
“Yes, Kiri, yes.  Right there, right--shit yesyes yes. ”  He pistons up, the veins of his cock rubbing just right and when he releases the grip on your hands, they’re moving to wrap around him on instinct.  He’s planting kisses along your jaw, mouthing up to your lips and back down to graze his teeth over your pulse point.  “Do it, fuckin’ do it, let them know ‘m yours, ” you slur and when he bites down you crash over the edge on a groan that’s really more of a scream.  Everything goes black but you're cradling him to you as his movements become more erratic.  The snapping of his hips is getting sloppier by the second and a steady growl punches from his lungs with each breath.  “Cum, Kirishima, cum inside me.”
He’s never heard those words before and it lights a fire in his veins.  His head is buzzing and then he can’t hear anything as his cock releases and he’s spurting searing hot ropes of cum into your cunt.  He goes until you’ve milked every last drop from him and he’d be lying if he said his world didn't suddenly feel whole.  Finally, his body settles and his chest drops to yours.  Everything slowly bleeds back into focus and somehow, everything seems more colorful than it did moments before.  You’re still clinging to him.
“Kiri.  Kiri, babe, I can’t breathe,” you say and he slowly rises, taking in your blissed-out expression.  Your eyes can barely stay open, your cheeks are flushed.  He backs up to see his handiwork on display, hyper-focused on the trail of the mingling cum dripping from the mess of your sex.  But you’re smiling.  Lazy and tired, completely at ease.  “Wanna take a shower?”  When you nod he doesn’t hesitate in standing to kick his underwear and shorts the rest of the way off his legs and then he’s grabbing you, scooping you into his arms and against his chest.  He pads out of the gym and across the hall to his bathroom where he deposits you on your feet, only after he’s sure you can stand and only long enough to turn the shower head-on.
He puts his hand under the water, waiting for it to get warm.  Steam billows from behind the glass door when he’s turning back to you to remove your tank top and your sports bra.  Thank god you chose the front-closure one today; you didn’t think either one of you wanted to struggle to get one up over your head right now.  When your breasts spill out of the high-impact fabric, you notice with tender amusement that his cock is half-hard again.  His eyes go dark again and he leans in for a kiss.  But it's slow and sweet. 
"You're so fuckin' beautiful," he whispers.  He ignores his arousal, ushering you into the stream of water.  Your care is the only thing that matters to him right now.  The heat slides across your body, and when Kirishima steps up behind you and begins soaping up your shoulders, it feels like heaven .
You take turns washing each other until you’re both blissed out in a different kind of way and the only thing either one of you can think about is sleep.  But the afterglow is fading and doubt is creeping in.  When you step out of the water, you stand awkwardly as Kiri hands you a towel.  “You okay?”  He’s actually concerned and you can’t put your finger on why you’re so fucking grateful for it.
“Yea, just tired.  I should, uh, probably get going.”  Kiri freezes and you think you’ve said something wrong, already crossed a line.  Your brain is like a broken record as the stomach-curdling image of having to see him at the agency flashes across your eyes in vivid detail.  But then he’s stepping into your space and pulling you in for a hug.  A hug.
“Don’t go,” he whispers into the crown of your head and it has you smiling like an idiot against his chest.  His skin smells clean and warm with a hint of spice.  You bury your face further in as you nod against him.  Then he’s leading you to his room, to the king-sized bed.  He peels back the comforter and the white sheets and pulls you in beside him.  Your back is against him and he hooks his foot around your ankles, bringing you even closer.  
He doesn’t say anything more, just lets out a huge sigh as he wraps his arm around you.  The last thing you notice before your eyes flutter shut is how your heartbeats are thumping at the same steady rhythm.  
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Late afternoon sunlight slants in Kirishima’s bedroom window, creating interesting patterns across his blanket.  It’s pushed towards the end of the bed, your legs intertwined and tangled in the sheets.  He’s still dozing, his breathing not quite that of someone sleeping but not of a person fully awake.  You reach out to cup his cheek, stroke above his eyebrows, caress his lips with your thumb.  A contented sigh leaves his chest as he grabs your hand and kisses your wrist.  His eyes are open now and he watches you.  You smile at him, snuggling closer, not wanting the moment to end.
“Hey,” he says quietly, suddenly serious.  “I just want you to know, I don’t do this all the time.  I mean, I’ve been with other people before but I don’t…  I don’t really hook up .”  Things start clicking into place as you realize what he’s trying to get across.  He just fucked you stupid in his personal gym and somehow he looks bashful.  And because you love it, you’re not going to help him along.  You just watch, biting your lip to keep from giggling.  “I just.  I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you.  I’ve liked you for a long time.  And normally I would have wined and dined you first but...  Well.  Here we are.  Would you like to stay for dinner?”
That’s the last straw; your laughter comes bubbling out of you and Kiri is leaning back to look at you with a quizzical expression on his face.  “Is something funny?”  That just makes you laugh a little harder but the confused look he’s wearing has you leaning in to press your lips against his.
“I’ve liked you from the first day I met you, Kiri.  I’ll one-up your offer and tell you that I might like to stay forever.”  A grin rips across his face and your heart blooms with warmth and affection.  The world seems full of possibilities but none of them matter except for the possibility laying right in front of you.
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dinosaurtsukki · 5 years ago
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haikyuu!! buzzfeed unsolved AU
OK THIS IS THE LAST BUZZFEED UNSOLVED RELATED HEADCANON SET I PROMISE 
[edit: check out the link at the bottom of the post for more buzzfeed unsolved au content :)]
hinata and kageyama:
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90% of the show is them yelling and nobody watches it with earphones on
both of them believe in ghosts but that doesn't mean they want to see one
hinata will literally go to the bathroom five times before going to the spooky house and kageyama gets mad at him for it but there is Fear in his eyes
producer: 'were you scared?'
kageyama: 'pfft, no'
cameraman: *points camera down to show that kageyama's legs are shaking*
they also bring a shit ton of food with them when they stay the night at a place and they'll deadass be eating while talking about the history of the place
‘this house *crunch crunch* was built in *crunch crunch* 1972'
the producers tell them to stop bringing snacks but fans of the show love it
sometimes they'll shoot a mini mukbang video
SPICY, BARBECUE POTATO FRIES | Mukbang at the Waverly Hills Asylum'
hinata: *looking up how to do a seance on wikihow* it says we gotta offer some food for the spirit
kageyama: *spills the doritos he was eating on the table
*after 20 minutes*
kageyama: fuck this
hinata: *starts eating the doritos*
producer: ...
the ghosts: ..................the, audacity
tsukishima and yamaguchi
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pretty much a ryan and shane duo right here
yamaguchi: we'll be visiting this place as part of our ongoing investigation on the question, are ghosts real?
tsukishima: *shakes head*
yamaguchi just wants to see the look of fear in tsukishima’s eyes at least once
yamaguchi: *hears a random thump sound* fUCk tSuKkI a gHoSt!!!
tsukishima: *sees a chair being tossed across the room* huh, the wind is pretty strong today
he likes to stick his head into attics to scare yamaguchi
yamaguchi always carries a water gun full of holy water
yamaguchi: i have holy water with me and i'm not afraid to use it! but i'm also sorry you had to die such a horrible death i hope you find peace soon
tsukishima: *walks into a basement that is supposedly a portal to hell* fuckin’ take me already
so many 'yamaguchi being an angel and tsukishima being a demon for 10 mins' video compilations 
daichi and sugawara
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a very chaotic buzzfeed unsolved duo
suga, who is satan’s child himself, and daichi, who needs a raise
daichi: hello everyone! this is daichi,
sugawara: and suga
daichi: and you’re watching...
sugawara: jackass!!
daichi:...buzz...buzzfeed unsolved??
daichi started out being afraid of almost every place he had to walk into but after having to deal with the chaotic mess that is suga for an entire season, he no longer Feels Fear
this is because suga will deadass film a tiktok dance video no matter where he is
daichi: suga, someone was literally axe-murdered there
suga: *dancing along to ‘I’m a Savage’ or whatever that tiktok song is called*
daichi: *at cameraman* do you see what i have to deal with every day?’
suga is only genuinely scared by ghosts when his followers point out that a ghost was caught on camera in one of his tiktok videos
suga: *watching the video*
that was the end of suga’s tiktok career
tanaka and nishinoya:
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another bunch of loud bois but they are much louder than kageyama and hinata
they’re very much into proving the existence of cryptids and are most known for that episode they spent hunting bigfoot by dressing up to look like bigfoot
tanaka: ‘you know that thing they do in cartoons where they stack on top of each other under a coat so they look like just one big guy?’
nishinoya: ‘ryuu i love you so fucking much’
other guy there who is also trying to catch bigfoot: oMg ItS bIgFooT *takes picture with the blurriest camera he could find*
both of them are very committed in their investigation of the supernatural and they’re very unconventional approaches
nishinoya: *lying on the ground in a creepy basement* EAT MY HEART DEMONS! WE’LL PUT THE VIDEO ON YOUTUBE!
tanaka: *takes out a spirit board* *spells out O-M-A-E  W-A  M-O  S-H-I-N-D-E-I-R-U*
ghost: *spells out N-A-N-I*
tanaka and nishinoya: *screaming*
kuroo and kenma: 
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kuroo deadass flirts with any ghost or demon they encounter and kenma would sleep over in a haunted asylum for ten bucks
kuroo: *sidles up to the infamous annabelle doll* hey there little lady, what’s a pretty thing like you doing in a locked, glass case with a ‘don’t touch’ sign like this?
kenma: kuroo, there’s a demon inside her
kuroo: well, i’m a bit of a demon myself
kenma: she attempted to choke a guy in his sleep
kuroo: oooh, choking. i can get behind that...
kenma: *looks at camera*
the demon in annabelle: d-daddy??
“kuroo flirting with demons and kenma looking at the camera for 5 minutes”
kuroo’s actually a huge fucking scaredy cat and kenma secretly tries to push him over the edge
kenma: *plays computer-generated screams of the damned on his phone*
kuroo: WHAT WAS THAT?
kenma: ...I didn’t hear anything *looks at the camera as if he was on the office and plays the sound again*
kuroo: i was too scared to close my eyes last night
kenma: i was actually able to catch a bunch of pokemon last night. who knew the winchester mansion is such a hotspot
producer: did you catch any evidence of ghosts?
kenma: ...i caught a gastly
bokuto and akaashi:
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bokuto is a die-hard mothman fan and akaashi is emotionally involved in proving that ghosts exist he will stop at nothing
akaashi: all of the evidence on the shadow figures and orbs spotted in this place can only suggest one thing...
bokuto: mothman did it
akaashi: no
bokuto: yes
akaashi: mothman is literally five states away
bokuto: he has wings
during their individual investigations, akaashi has already foreseen how bokuto is going to react
producer: it’s been quiet for a while. do you think bokuto’s no longer scared?
akaashi: oh no. he should be screaming right about now...
bokuto, inside the haunted house: *screams and waves his flashlight around*
akaashi:  and then he’s gonna call for help
bokuto: AKAAAAAASHIIIIIIIIII
*few hours later*
bokuto: i saw my life flash before my eyes in there
akaashi: *muttering incoherently near his ‘evidence wall’ full of blurry pictures and red string*
bokuto: i must’ve stared into the abyss at one point
akaashi: this place is fucking haunted. can i go back? it’s for sale right?
ushijima and tendou:
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ushijima’s knowledge of ghosts is based on hollywood movies and tendou has exorcised places just by vibing
ushijima: *brings out a pottery wheel* if there are any ghosts in here, you know what to do
he’s actually never watched Ghost he just knows That One Scene
tendou: *naruto-running through the goatman bridge with a go-pro strapped to his head* IT’S MY BRIDGE GOATMAN, IT’S MY BRIDGE!!!
the Goatman Himself: i’ve never felt so fucking scared in my entire fucking life
ushijima believes that chanting in latin will Summon the Ghosts and tendou takes full advantage of that
tendou: *handing ushijima a slip of paper* here, apparently this will summon a full-bodied apparition
ushijima: thanks *begins chanting*
producer, interviewing tendou to the side: okay, what did you make him read this time?
tendou: i typed out ‘let me eat your ass’ in latin on google translate and went from there
cameraman: *zooms in on ushijima chanting*
the ghost haunting the castle: *is confused in French*
in the end neither of them get evidence on ghosts
ushijima: well, we'll have better luck next time
tendou: maybe even revisit this place ?
the ghosts: i know i'm dead but this is the first time i've been scared for my life
[EDIT: for more buzzfeed unsolved au content written by me, check out The Search for the Mysterious Mothman, a headcanon set feat. bokuaka]
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thunderheadfred · 4 years ago
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💥Bakugou HC's💥
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Aged-up pro hero Katsuki for all of these. Some NSFW beneath the cut. Minors do not interact.
- - - - -
General
He’s scary good at everything he tries. Every. Single. Fucking. Thing. It’s infuriating. Has zero patience when other people can’t immediately master a skill. Never let him teach you anything. Not that he’d offer, nerd.
He WILL offer, though. A lot. He can’t believe you still can’t Do That Thing. Tsh. Like THIS. You're gonna hurt yourself, Dummy.
But hold on. Of course you have unique skills of your own. You work hard to improve yourself. Trust me, he's the first person to notice. He doesn't praise anyone lightly, so when he raises his eyebrows and whispers he's impressed, your heart will go thermonuclear.
Perfect spelling and fully punctuated texts. Never uses abbreviations. Employs a grand total of four emojis, all of them angry faces. Constantly leaves you on read. He's busy, dammit.
Doesn’t smile or laugh in public (except sarcastically). His real smile is a crooked, fragile thing. Never make him feel self-conscious about it, or you might not see it again for weeks.
He does not talk about his private life to the press. Ever. Will K.O. rookie reporters who can't keep their big mouths shut.
HOweVER: he's intensely kind to his fans. There is a whole photographic sub-genre of little girls in cosplay hugging Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight like he's a Disney Princess.
Too smart for his own good. Emotionally hyper-vigilant. Overthinks every interaction to hell and back. Will act like he's not listening but actually hears every single word in a ten-block radius.
INSECURE AF. 110% convinced he will never be good enough. Terrified of his loved ones leaving him behind. Does he do anything to assuage his fears? Like... talk to anyone about it? Hell no. That would require admitting he has fears to begin with.
Seeing people upset makes him upset, especially if he doesn't know how to fix it.
The epitome of being mean because he cares. He genuinely does not seem to comprehend that monosyllabic grunts and lopsided shrugs are not actually that comforting.
Because he was such a brat growing up, he wants to make up for it now. Sort of. In his own way. Look, he's trying, okay?
He smells - so - good. Obscenely good. He doesn't wear cologne; are you joking? There's the burnt-sugar caramel candy smell of his quirk, for starters. And since he sweats deadly ammunition, he showers and wipes himself down almost constantly. He always smells clean. Like a fucking meadow.
Never got that growth spurt he was hoping for. He’s a short man - not even THAT short - but he has a Napoleon complex anyway. If you’re taller than him, the collars of your shirts will all be stretched out. He’s constantly dragging you down to his level. He will assert himself all the fucking time; the pissing contest is never-ending. Don’t wear tall shoes unless you want him to drag you around on a leash. If you’re shorter than him, that’s good. That’s very good. He likes that.
He’s an incredible cook, but everything he makes is a nuclear fire challenge. Adapt or starve.
- - - - -
Dating
Makes artisanal, nutritionally flawless bento lunches for both of you. When people assume his S.O. makes them, he gets fucking pissed. Damn right your co-workers are jealous of my cooking.
Your pet name is Dummy. Don’t like it? Fine. You can be dumbass.
There will be zero PDA in this relationship. His hands are shoved so deep in his pockets you can’t even try.
Intensely private with the press. But with his friends, he will brag about you nonstop. Bakugou Katsuki has the most talented and attractive and intelligent S.O., and anyone who doesn't recognize that is blind. Were you assholes even listening?
A mutual buddy definitely recorded one of these drunken brag-rants and sent it to you for safekeeping. Do not let Katsuki find out about it, unless you enjoy having an ash pile for a phone.
Gets jealous about everything, at least at the start. He calms down eventually. Kinda. He stops saying shit to you about it, anyway, because he learns to trust you. But anyone who so much as looks at you in a too-friendly manner will get the death stare of a lifetime.
He’ll throw all kinds of temper tantrums and the two of you will argue about every tiny fucking thing. He’ll scream out car windows, he’ll ball up his shirt and gnash on it. But he will never raise his voice at you. He’d rather die than make you feel unsafe.
Honestly, the constant bickering is really just... uhh... passionate communication. Eventually you both hash out the important things. You'll learn how to step around his landmines and actually make your points, and he'll learn to open up. A little.
Once you meet his mom, Katsuki starts to make a lot more sense. His family just... emotes like that. Eventually, you and his dad form a spousal support group consisting of exactly two lifetime members. He teaches you the Bakugou family semaphore you need to survive a long-term relationship.
Katsuki can dish it out but absolutely cannot take it. The only person who can level with him about serious issues without explosive fallout is his dad. Or, on a lucky day, Kirishima.
If you give him a legitimate criticism (even gently!) he will take it about as gracefully as a knife to the gut, because it confirms everything he hates about himself.
To your never-ending shock, you’ve made him cry. Yes, CRY! You monster! More than once! His lip gets all *trembly* and his eyes get all *watery* and all you want to do is hug him, but. No. He’ll storm out and wander around for a few hours before coming back with the problem perfectly solved.
He always takes your advice to heart. No, he will NOT talk about it, stop asking.
Gets mad if you don’t snuggle him on the regular. Will drag you into his lap with a pissy little grunt. There might be two seats on this couch but you will not be needing both of them.
Takes pictures of you while you sleep.
Takes even more pictures of you when you're awake but think he's out of the room.
He looks at all these pictures when he's away on high-stakes jobs. He gets all bleary eyed and sleeps in a salty puddle without you. NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.
You don’t have to meet him at the door or anything, but when he says “I’m home,” you’d better answer fast. If he doesn’t know your precise location in 0.05 seconds, he will assume you’ve been kidnapped. He never checks the fridge for notes. Never assumes you've gone down to the konbini for a snack. No, it’s kidnapping every time.
A terrrrrrible bed partner. He goes to bed at senior citizen hours and will never fuck you after sundown. He snores SO loud. Runs hot and sweats through the sheets. Slaps and elbows you in his sleep and aggressively spoons you with his loud, sweaty body. You WILL want to suffocate him. Separate bedrooms aren’t such a horrible idea......
BUT HANG ON, because in the morning he transforms into an honest-to-god angel. He's half awake, his guard is non-existent. Morning Katsuki is a doting kissy-faced marshmallow man.
If you can wake up before the ass-crack of dawn, he will pamper the fuck out of you. You are royalty for one (1) hour only, and he is your bleary-eyed slave. You want a cuddlefuck? You got it. Hugs? Kisses? Take as many as you need. You want a perfect, fluffy, NON-SPICY omelette with a heart drawn in ketchup? Here it is, gorgeous.
Then he gets in the shower and the spell is broken.
- - - - -
💥bang BANG💥
Let’s get the obvious out of the way: this here is an ASS. MAN. He'll spank you with his quirk; doesn’t matter if you’ve been good or bad. Wants to see you wince when you sit down later.
Likes pounding you face down with a vice grip on your waist.
Unfortunately, even with all that said... he doesn't exactly have the feral beast sex drive you were expecting. He’s married to his work and has the fuddy-duddy habits of a once and future valedictorian. Only fucks you when he has the time and energy to fully dedicate himself to it.
But ohhhh. Shit. When it's time? It's TIME. The man will rush for nothing. Stamina for days. Making you cum as many times as possible is a point of pride. Yeah, you passed out once.
You’re gonna need those days off when he’s done with you.
That dick THICC.
Sends unsolicited dick pics. Only after you’ve been dating a good long while - he doesn't show that shit to just anyone. But yeah, don’t check your phone at work. He won't cum without you; those pictures and videos are time bombs. You better get home. Now.
Physically dominant as FUCK, but won’t verbally degrade you unless you ask. Well, let’s be honest. Unless you beg.
Praise him and reap the rewards. A long hard ego stroking will get him off more than touching his cock ever will.
Will grab your hair and fuck your throat. Will also stop immediately if you need him to.
The two of you have safe words and gestures. Even for vanilla stuff. He’s paranoid about scaring or hurting you. He insisted you both sign a color-coded ‘love contract’ that he meticulously formatted in a word processor. When you gave him guff about it, his blush was the darkest crimson you’d ever seen.
Coin-flip: he will sometimes be unbelievably gentle in bed. Doting and affectionate, taking perfect care of you. Like, it’s baffling. There’s no warning, the switch just flips. When you want him to be extra-rough and mean, he’ll sweetly worship you instead. For hours.
Bonus: he likes being penetrated. But of course he’s got a complex about that too. Super intense power bottom. You will never fuck him hard enough. He’d like to see you try. Hit his prostate just right and he might literally explode.
You'll live happily ever after but he will say he loves you out loud exactly once. Maybe. If you're lucky. And you're both about to die.
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fearfully-fiction · 3 years ago
Text
St. Albans pt.5- Dakota Laden x Reader (finale)
word count: 2110
warnings: fluff, language, THE FINAL PART!
summary: based on season 1 episode 4 of DF, so all credit to the crew, the show, and the channel! the night begins to come to an end and morning comes. Reader and Dakota share in the joy and pride of making it through the night. and it’s time to move forward. 
thank you all so much for reading these parts it means so much to me. I’m new at writing for Destination fear and getting the love I’m receiving is amazing. it gives me more motivation to continue! I can’t wait to write more for all of you! I hope you enjoy the last part!
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(not my gif!)
 Silence hung over you both for a few seconds, before his walkie went off. You both jumped and you let out a yelp. “This is for scaring me…” Chelsea came through. You let out a small laugh. 
“You just scared the shit out of me.” He responded to his sister. You could just tell she had a smile on her face. You laughed a bit, trying to hold it back so as to not be too loud. He looked over to where you were. The flashlight illuminated your face as you grinned and bit back laughter. It made a small smile etch onto his face. “Oh, you think this is funny?” he asked you after his sister finished speaking. You muffled your laughs and covered your mouth before shaking your head no. “No, of course not.” your voice strained to keep from letting out a laugh. 
“You’re cruel, you know. You got scared too, do you see me laughing?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. You shook your head with a small smile. “Exactly now, stop laughing at me,” he instructed playfully. He knew damn well that your laugh brought him back and made him forget for a split second that he was in the basement of a haunted abandoned building somewhere in Virginia. 
“You know you love me,” you said before leaning over to kiss his temple. “Sadly, you are correct.” he jokingly said. 
--
Some time had passed and Dakota and you were lying down in silence. Nothing else had happened so far and it calmed your mind in the very slightest. Your fingers interlocked with his and you could hear his breathing. It was about enough to make you fall asleep when all of a sudden a loud crash happened and you bolted upright.
“What in the fuck?!” you exclaimed. Dakota flashed his light around the area hurriedly. 
Little did you know that Chelsea had heard the same thing that you guys did. 
You decided to go ahead and ask seeing as the noise was extremely loud and it could’ve been heard by her too. 
“Did you hear that? It was like the really loud metallic noise.” Dakota described what you heard.
“Yeah. Dude, I fricking heard that” She responded sounding just as freaked out as you were. 
“I’m having a panic attack. I am so scared down here.” your boyfriend reveals. You rub his back in a comforting motion. “I am so scared,” he spoke once again, making you cringe at the fear in his voice. Your brave Dakota being so scared, it hurt you seeing him this way. 
“Yeah, I don’t think I’m sleeping,” she said. 
“I don’t think we will be either.” you sighed. 
“Honestly, I don't know how we’re going to do the rest of this night,” you said.
--
The rest of the night was just silence and it wasn’t comforting at all, the only reason you weren’t breaking down was because Dakota was with you. If he hadn’t been there you would’ve been a complete mess. 
The sun was coming up and it was finally time to leave the building.
You looked at your boyfriend and smile widely. You grabbed his hand and pulled him off of the floor and off to the side. He looked at you in confusion, “What are you doing?” he asked curiously. 
“We made it through the night. You did it babe.” you smile brightly at him. A big smile came across his lips and he chuckled. “Yeah, we did it. I did it.” he breaths out, relief and joy in his voice were crystal clear and it made your heart skip. You reached out and wrapped your arms around him holding him as closely as possible. He did the same to you and he all of a sudden felt tears on his shirt. He pulled back a little bit and looks down at you. 
“Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked you and placed his hands on your face. You looked up at him and let out a small broken laugh. 
His eyes filled with confusion, “I’m so proud of you. You did it, and I know you’re exhausted but look at you. You did it. You did that. I am so proud of you Dakota.” your voice broke. “It wasn’t just me babe. We did it,” he said and pulled you in close again. 
“I love you, Dakota,” you said and he looked down at you, your head was buried in his chest and he kissed your head. You looked up at him with a watery smile you let out a giggle and he leaned down to press his forehead against yours. 
He placed his hands on your hips and you moved yours to his cheeks gently. He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. It was short and sweet and so he went to pull away but you kept him in place and pulled him back down to kiss him again. He brought his hands up and slightly made your shirt ride up his touch made you sigh and relax against him. He smiled against your lips and felt your hands move to drag through his hair. Your lips moved in sync and soon enough you were as close as possible. His tongue dragged lazily along your bottom lip and he felt your lips part sighed into your mouth when he felt your tongue tentatively touch his. He took a chance to let his tongue explore your mouth. The taste of the gum you always chewed lingered in your mouth and it made your heart race knowing he wanted to be this close to you right now. You and he were sharing one breath, and it was like a current of electricity shot through you every time his hold got more firm. You could feel that sense of relief and comfort knowing that you were both there and you were both ok. You pulled away slowly, your breathing was just as heavy as his was, and he opened his eyes to meet your (e/c) eyes. You let out an airy giggle and he did too. “Well, that was unexpected,” he said and you nodded with a big smile. 
“Yeah it was, wasn’t it?” you said and you pulled away from him a bit. You stepped away and chuckled. “It was well deserved though,” you said and smiled at him. 
“I’ve been dying to do that for days.” his lip quirked into a smirk. “Oh have you?” you questioned playfully with a quirked brow. “I have,” he said and walked closer to you. He stood right in front of you now. “Well there are many things I’ve been dying to do, but you know RV’s aren’t the best settings for the things I want.” you winked and turned to gather your things. He looked at you with wide eyes and crimson cheeks. “Damn it… she’s gonna kill me I swear,” he mumbled to himself before following after you. 
“Let’s get out of here babe, I know you’re tired,” you said with a genuine sympathetic smile. “In all seriousness Dakota, I’m here for you, I’m here to take care of you whenever you need me. I know it has been a rough time, and things aren’t going to settle down in your mind for a while but I’m here through all of it. I’ll take care of you I promise.” you spoke with the utmost sincerity. He looked at you with love-filled eyes. He walked over and kissed your head softly. “You know I’m going to do the same to you. I love you (y/n),” he spoke softly. 
--
 You and your boyfriend quickly went and gathered your things before heading back up the stairs and meeting with everyone else. You bid everyone a good morning and you all packed away your equipment and headed for the door. 
Once the door was opened the sunlight came streaming in and you took in the fresh air. Finally, you were able to leave the place that had affected you all, especially Dakota so badly. You were so proud of everyone for overcoming that fear, but you knew for damn sure you never wanted to see that building again. 
All of you sat your things down on the ground and took seats on the steps. You sat one step above Dakota letting your fingers run through his hair comfortingly. He smiled up at you and took your hand and placed a kiss on it.
“That was crazy,” Chelsea stated and you vigorously nodded in agreement. “Yeah that was pretty insane you guys.” you jumped in. 
“I’m honestly glad we went back, but I am really glad we never have to come back,” Tanner said. 
Chelsea turned her camera and attention toward her brother. 
“You had a really rough night.” she pointed out. 
“I know,” he responded. 
“Yeah. You had a horrible night.” Tanner once again stated the facts. 
“I couldn’t sleep. I showed fear. I showed a lot of fear, and I shouldn’t have. That’s like the rule number one and I totally broke it.” he sounded disappointed in himself, but you were so proud he got through it. 
“We did it though you guys. You faced your fear Kota, and look where you are now. You completed the night and I am so proud of you. Of all of us.” you said and smiled at them all. 
“Me too, and you told me before, that I used to scare you, like, when you weren’t scared. You had that effect on me tonight.” Chelsea described to her brother what she felt. 
“I was scaring you?” Dakota asked.
“Like, you scared me. Like I…” she cut herself off. “You freaked me out,” she stated. 
You looked down at your boyfriend and continued to run your fingers through his hair knowing that it was a comfort to him just knowing you were there. 
“Well, I think we should never come back here again. Cause it fucking sucked.” you blatantly stated and earned a laugh from the people around you which brought a smile to your face. 
“I will second that.” Tanner said, “I agree.” Chelsea nodded with a smile. 
--
“So tonight was one of the worst nights I have had so far on this road trip, and just by far in my life. I have seen my friends and my boyfriend scared before but seeing them like this was incredibly difficult. Dakota was hit so hard last night in the bowling alley, it hurt to see him like that, I’ve never seen him that scared before. I don’t ever want to see him that scared again, I don’t want to see any of them as scared as they were last night. I’m just so proud of us for pulling through. I’ll have to make sure to keep a close eye on Dakota right now because I know he isn’t feeling like himself. Hopefully, a little tender love and care will help patch him up a bit. 
I’m just glad we never have to go back.”
--
You finished your ending monologue and walked over to put your camera away.
The RV pulled around the corner and you gathered your gear to put away after you had filmed your solo shots.
 Suddenly you felt arms wrap around you from behind and a kiss being placed on your shoulder. 
“Hello, my love. How are you feeling right now?” you ask and turn to face him. He looks at you with tired eyes and a sleepy grin. He looked so drained and it upset you to see him this way. 
“I’ll be ok. Just not feeling great right now. How are you?” he asked. 
“Well, I’m doing alright, I’d be even better if you’d get some rest and let me take care of you until you feel a bit better though,” you said and reached up to move the strand of fallen hair that dangled above his eyebrow. 
He smiled shyly, “I think I can manage that.” he said and kissed you before dragging you into the RV. you smiled as he sat down and pulled you into his lap letting his face rest in the crook of your neck so he could place a small kiss on your soft skin. You sighed in content and leaned into him. “Shouldn’t I be the one holding you?” you ask jokingly. “I want to hold you so hush and let it happen,” he mumbled against your skin. 
“Whatever am I to do with you Laden?” you asked with a smile. “Love me,” he whispered and held you tighter. “Now that is something I am lucky enough to do.” 
--
Taglist:
@jaziona92
@beautybyfire​
@thefandomthings​
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whosjunglejim4322 · 4 years ago
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Umbra | J. Seo (m)
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》 Genre: vampire au! Smut, fluff, minor angst and mentions of violence, This story also features Yuta, Taeyong, Jaehyun, Jungwoo, Doyoung and Mark as his coven members
》 Warnings: spitting, dry humping, mentions of blood obvi, mentions of feeding, strong boy trying not to fuck you into oblivion, his eyes get black he's when he's hungry/horny, disgusting amount of fluff, omg sorta strength kink? Johnny is very in love w you and very protective cause some of his brothers are out of pocket, Jungwoo wants to b ur bestie lowkey, Yuta is a lil shit
Chapter 2 
There are many things that Johnny loves about you. He could spend all his time showering you with professions of his adoration, and he'd never grow tired of it. Though, his concept of time and yours are slightly different.
He's patient, excessively so sometimes, in your humble opinion. But, he also never expected in his three hundred and forty five years of existence, to find someone who manages to warm his cold and stagnant heart in the way you have.
Now, anytime away from you is a bit bothersome.
It's just, he never knew humans like you existed. In his world, there are either those who lust after his kind and the benefits in which their heightened senses and skills provide, or those who see him as a complete moral abomination.
Even now, in a society that has to live in conjunction with vampires, there are still so many people who fear him. Well, they fear what they think he is. A creature of the night, a demon, something that is only greedy for strife and nothing more.
You were the first person who genuinely throttled him, curious and wide eyed, completely fascinated by him. And not in a way that made him feel like he was under a microscope, but in a way that made him feel as though he was something...to be admired.
Your heartbeat, even after a year, still flutters like the wings of dragonfly whenever he displays his strength; swinging you up into his arms like you're made of feathers and all things delicate.
At first, he thought you were scared, weary, perhaps, about his abnormalities. He couldn't find any other explanation for the way you seemed to shrink in his presence whenever he'd dip his head below your chin to grace your throat with his lips, cooling your hot skin.
It didn't make sense. Not until he realized there is a direct correlation to your change and scent, and these moments in which he can be himself around you.
You like it. You like that he's different, a complete opposite to what you'd find in the common world. If he thought he could be any more enamored, anymore breathless than he was before (no pun intended) he was wrong.
Even now, with you lying with your back against his hard chest, playing with his slim fingers, your voice is nothing but earnest. Curious, in your own little world that consists of just you and him.
He thinks, no he knows, that if he had a pulse it would be racing every time he's around you. Every time you ask him a question that would normally repulse anyone else, even when you place his cool palm against your blazing cheek, giddy about the difference in temperature. He can tell that you just want to know more about him, about how he exists in the world. He simply can't resist indulging you.
"So...everyone doesn't taste the same? I always just assumed that blood is, well, blood." He smiles to himself as you trace shapes into his palm, before flipping his hand over and grazing your fingertips over his protruding knuckles.
The feeling of your skin against his is so pleasant he almost gets distracted.
"Well, it depends, really," his free hand strokes up and down your arms, savoring the softness. "sometimes the difference is slight, like someone who's A or B negative, but other times it can be quite stark. It's about chemistry really."
He can already see your expression in his head, furrowed brows, lips pursed in a manner too cute for your own good. He absentmindedly pushes you further against his chest, reclining slightly against the pillows as to make it more comfortable for you. You hum in satisfaction.
"Chemistry? Like how you feel about the person?" He can't quite pinpoint what is laced within the lilt of your voice, he answers nonetheless, chuckling warmly.
The sound is like pure velvet, causing your skin to tingle. You shiver, and he pulls your blanket over you, worried his lack of body heat may be disturbing your comfort. He doesn't realize how wrong he is.
"It's more like, how that person has lived. Their natural...how do I say...essence? Yes, their essence sometimes can determine how desirable some ones blood is to us."
He doesn't miss the way your heartbeat falters in rythm. He grins, as you take both of his hands in yours and intertwine your fingers. He twists his wrist and brings your knuckles up to his lips, kissing your skin.
You shift underneath the covers, suddenly thankful for his cool temperature. You know that most of the vampires that exist in society use blood bags from the banks provided, but you still wonder...
"Am I...am I desirable to you? Like, my blood, or whatever." You wish you could say you usually aren't so bad at speaking when you're around him, but that would be a blatant lie.
It's the most endearing thing he's ever witnessed.
His hands are gone from yours and elsewhere in the blink of an eye, one strong arm locked around your torso as his free hand reaches down to cup your chin. He turns and lifts your head towards him, gently, and the look in his eyes has your breath stalling momentarily.
"Of course you are, silly," he says it as if it's the most obvious thing ever, leaning down to peck your nose. Butterflies swarm violently in your belly. "I desire you in every way there is to desire someone, it makes me want to keep you all to myself. No one else should be allowed to even think about you, or your blood, in that way."
He looks lost in thought for a second, pupils almost darkening the whole of his irises, before he seemingly brings himself out of his daze. You turn in his hold, adjusting your position so that you're practically lying on top of him, chests touching and your legs cradled between his hips. He holds you effortlessly in his arms.
"Well it wouldn't matter anyways, cause I'm all yours." His pearly teeth show from behind the pillowy surface of his lips, as he leans in to kiss you in a manner that has you reaching out to wrap your hand around the nape of his neck.
"Mhm, all mine." He murmurs, nose nudging against yours as he shifts back and forth from your top lip, and then your bottom, tongue exploring the surface of each.
Kissing you, is another experience entirely for him. He wonders if it feels for you as it does for him, like pure intoxication. It brings back memories, memories he didn't think could still be reachable in the depths of his mind.
A time where he was warm, where life thrummed through his veins like the rushing current of a river. You are springtime on his tongue, the rays of sunlight that once heated his skin, the smell of flora in the air that mingles with the fleeting breeze.
He almost whines when you depart from his mouth, yearning already heavy in the pit of his stomach.
You look almost nervous, suddenly finicking with the front of his shirt as you sit back on his lap. He can hear the acceleration of your heartbeat, can smell the anxiety that is almost as heady as your desire.
He reaches out to cup your cheek, something he often does as a comforting gesture. You smile softly, meeting his curious, tepid gaze.
"So...I have a question," your voice shakes and you huff. "I mean, I was just wondering," he senses your struggle, wrapping his arms around you and sitting up so that your chests are nearly touching again, his palms splayed against your lower back.
"You can ask me anything, sweetheart. You know that." His voice, as sweet as honey, calms your racing pulse for a moment. Until you actually say the words out loud, wincing as if preparing for a scolding.
"Well I know you have a family, of sorts, from what you've told me. And I know you've always been really...hesitant to tell me more about them? I mean I've never been over, to your home or met them,"
Understanding washes over him, hands rubbing your back soothingly as the glint in his irises provokes an odd sensation within your belly. Like he knew this conversation would have to be had one day.
He lets you finish speaking, though your voice has even more of a tremor than before, now.
"Sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable, I understand if you don't want me over there."
Urgency calcifies in his chest, the sad lilt to your soft voice making him feel ill. The way you say it is as if you think he doesn't want you in his space, like he's keeping you away from there because of something other than rational reasoning, doesn't sit right with him.
He cups your jaw, firmly but gently.
"I want you with me as much as possible, never think that I don't want you. That is not at all why I haven't brought you over there," You have no choice but to believe him, when he's looking at you with such a passionate gaze far heavier than what you're used to in a normal setting, his words concise.
"I am...well I'm old, and so are they. I've spent a long time being alienated, far before we were even accepted in the new world. We've settled here since before you were born, so you won't remember what it was like when people were forced to live along side us."
You hate hearing the unusual grain of what seems to be dejection in his tone, though you listen fervently anyways, his hands still comforting you despite the fact that his eyes are the ones cast down. You want to kiss the furrow between his dark brows.
"I've accepted who I am, furthermore I've accepted who I want to be. I realized that, it would do me no good to be a monster if people were willing, even if begrudgingly, to accept our existence. But my brothers,"
Your stomach sinks at the way he says it, knowing without a doubt that this is the answer to your original question, that his stance had to be explained before he told you something like this.
"they don't feel the same way as me, so they are stuck in their ways beyond coercion. They live very different lives, they are what our kind refer to as nightcrawlers, it's sardonic inside joke for those of us that would rather not conform to the new age of mutual concurrency."
"They are still a bit resentful for the fact that they can't exactly give in to their natural instincts. They don't see the humans acceptance as welcoming, they see it as a mockery. Do you see where I'm coming from?"
You look a bit out of it, like maybe you're frightened and he's suddenly worried he's gone overboard, that he's scared you in a way that can't be fixed. His eyes are suddenly frantic.
But then you speak, and you don't sound vexed, nor unsettled. Your question is simple, your thighs tightening around his waist as if to draw yourself closer to his comfort, arms looping around his shoulders.
"Do they all feel that way?"
He smiles, muscles untensing as you play with his hair in the way you usually do. Your eyes never leave his, and he wonders how he got so lucky.
"The youngest, well the youngest in our years, they're a bit less malicious about it. They don't cross anyone unless someone crosses them, but they can be excessively territorial because of their youth."
The tension, despite talking about a topic so heavy, is light again. You feel a bit silly now, understanding why he might not want you in close proximity with his coven.
But, still, knowing that there are people, for lack of better term, that have been in his life unimaginably long; a completely different, solidified version of a family, it makes you more nosey than usual. Could they really be that different from him?
"And...you're sure that if I were to meet them, it would end badly?" His eyebrow twitches in an inquisitive manner, surprise coloring his sharp features.
"I- well I thought you were just curious, I didn't think you'd actually want to meet them. Especially after all of that,"
It's as if he's speaking to himself out loud, his pink tongue flicking out to wet his lips. You resist the urge to kiss him so suddenly.
"but I don't suppose so. It's already established that you're mine. If there's one rule we follow, it's that. They know how I feel about you, despite our differences."
The sturdiness to his voice when he speaks of you being his, has your belly filling with heat at an irrational rate, and you suddenly remember how it felt to see him before you actually got to know him.
He's incredibly intimidating on the surface, firm and stoic. You can't see how anyone would want to anger him.
"So then I'd be safe, meeting them. And I'd get to see if you guys really have furniture."
Despite not needing to, he swallows. It's hard impossible to say no to you, when you look at him like that and sound so genuinely interested at a prospect that would make any other person run for the hills, even cracking jokes.
You're soft, and too innocent for your own good. He should say no, but to risk seeing a pout form on your soft lips, or having to hear the disappointment in your voice, it's unbearable.
"You really want to meet them, don't you?" He can't fight his smile when your face lights up like that.
"Well, I think it's important. They're your family, one way or another." You're gentle when you speak, honest.
"You're safe with me, you have to know that. But they're...not used to being around humans that aren't just accessories. The last thing I want is for one of them to say something that makes you uncomfortable."
It's evident in the low timbre of his tone that he's serious, and any smart person might listen. But as he said, and as you believe wholeheartedly, you're safe with him. Safer than you'd ever be.
And, as wrong as it may be, you want to see what other vampires are like. You're really only used to Johnny, the exception, where as most modern vampires only come out when absolutely necessary. Meeting him, and falling in love with him, has given you a brand new sight towards the world. Is it that insane to want to meet his brothers that have been so close to him for so long?
"I'll be with you, so it won't matter. I'll bet they're not even that scary, no ones scarier than you."
Your triumphant, playful smile has him grinning from ear to ear, leaning down to capture your lips between his own. Even though you're wrong about them, he's weak. Too weak.
"Yeah? Afraid I'll eat you for breakfast?" His breath is suddenly against your earlobe and you shudder pleasantly, grasping onto his shoulders before regaining some sort of composure.
"I'm definitely dinner, breakfast is really overrated. Unless it's breakfast for dinner, that's way better for some reason?"
He's kissing you again, despite the fact that he's smiling too hard for his own good, swiftly flipping you over so that you're caged underneath his body. His weight is barely perceptible even with your chests touching, forearms holding himself up.
"You'll be the death of me, you know that?" He has a hard time speaking without strain due to the way his throat has suddenly tightened with need, your legs wrapping around his trim torso and pushing his hips further against yours.
"Not possible, unless I've suddenly charmed your heart into beating again." You tease, though his eyebrows remain furrowed in concentration as he kisses you between words, dangerously sensual. You smell too divine.
"Very possible, actually. If you only knew how you make me feel."
Your belly lurches at the desperation that flows from him, his aura downright fever inducing. Without thinking, your crotch nudges his, bucking with the slightest of movements. But it's enough, enough to have his jaw clenching and a habitual breath of restraint leaving his nose.
Five fingers grasp your chin, so he can kiss you, hard. His hips begin to roll as his teeth nibble your bottom lip, the fabric of his jeans an arousing juxtaposition to your soft lounge shorts, your lack of underwear making it all the more satisfying.
He's hard, too. Knowing his dick is just underneath, hard for you, it'll never not give you whiplash. It gets you drunk, knowing your effect on him is as overwhelming as his on you. You're whimpering against his tongue, rubbing yourself on his bulge.
"Mmm, fuck." He growls, capturing your wrists in his palms before your next breath, raising them above your head and making sure they're comfortable against the pillows.
He's inches away from your face now, and his expression alone is enough to have your walls pulsing around nothing, desire seeping into your chest and hardening your nipples, goosebumps forming across your skin.
He looks at you like he's hungry, nostrils flaring avariciously. He tries so very hard to fight the darkness that fills his sclera like ink, knowing how very monstrous and unlike himself it makes him appear.
But he hears the way it makes your heart race. He can practically taste the thrill that seeps from your pores, the unbridled arousal that drips from your cunt like syrup. Your neck cranes upwards to try and reach his lips, and he smirks before meeting you halfway.
"Do you want me to keep rubbing your pussy like this," he looks down between your bodies and purposely rolls his hips in an accentuated fashion. "or do you want my dick?"
His voice is brusque, but caring and accommodating as it always is, his plump lips quivering slightly from the way his mouth waters.
"Can I have your dick, please?" You return, his mouth quirking up into a sideways grin.
"Such good manners," he kisses you again, sloppily, the sounds lewd and causing you to shiver against his unwavering body. "how could I ever deny you?"
You blink, and cool air is breezing against your wet slit, the nakedness sending a wave of tingles through your nerve endings. Before you can look down, you feel his cock against your clit, smooth and rounded tip gathering wetness from your hole before circling it over your clit.
He uses one hand to keep your legs parted for his viewing, fingers softly gripping your flesh as he sits back on his haunches. You feel impatience crawling up your throat, toes already curling as your bud throbs and your walls ache.
He's so pretty, he is raven hair against olive skin, an onyx sky against shimmering stars. Your hands reach out for his hips, delicate but fierce in their strength. He rubs his shaft against your folds, before prodding at your entrance.
He always watches your expression when he first slides in, the way your mouth falls open and you are suddenly this beautiful, agonizingly worked up thing. He bites down on his bottom lip as his eyes flicker from your pussy, lovlier than a flower and welcoming him with a squeeze, to your face.
Your eyes are bleary as they stare back up at him, your breathing already erratic. His lip curls with the need to hiss, to ravage you. But he takes it slow, he loves watching you fall apart too much. And you're so wet around him, moaning his name like it's the only word you know.
"Johnnyyyy, oh - umph." He rocks into, gracefully and with a deliberate curl. You claw at the front of his tee shirt, pulling him down to your face.
He eagerly obliges, meeting your lips with a soft smack, the angle only pushing him deeper within your body. His pace has increased, the front of his thighs colliding with the back of yours. His mouth somehow remains steady, as if he's not fucking you like he is.
He's parting from you sooner than you'd like, but you know he likes to fuck you like this, able to see all of you and savor it. It's still the most incredible thing he'll ever witness or experience, he's sure of it.
He can't believe a creature like him could be so lucky, here with his manhood buried to the hilt inside of someone so breathtaking, so innately divine. Your essence is thick and wet, coating his shaft each time he pulls out.
"Such a pretty pussy, so fuckin' pretty baby." His voice is gruff, nose twitching and eyes black. You wrap your fingers around his strong, sturdy forearms as his hands grip the softness of your waist. His lips purse and a string of spit dribbles down your clit.
"Ungh, oh my- ohhhhh Johnny please please." You're not sure what your begging for, and it doesn't matter. Because he'll give you whatever it is you need before you know you need it, already hooking your legs over his broad shoulders, gripping your jaw and pushing it up so that he can mouth at your sensitive neck.
"Mmm, I got you baby, I'm right here," he takes your earlobe in his mouth before marking your throat, licking and sucking. "I can already feel your belly tensing sweetheart, gonna make a mess for me?"
All you can do is nod, eyes squeezed shut and hands exploring his firm abdomen while he pushes himself all the way into you; rocking his hips back and forth to make sure the tip of his cock is rubbing that sweet spot inside of you. Your clit is being stimulated in the process, and you know you're not going to last long.
He knows it too, and his thumb is suddenly on your swelling bud, rubbing you in circles faster than you can comprehend, but with just enough pressure to have your nails digging into his back with fervor. Having unbreakable skin must be a plus, in his case.
You're tensing more now, twitching even. Your energy is buzzing around him, electric. Your heart pounds like a drum, rattling against your ribcage and causing blood to thrum viciously throughout your veins. His thrusts become a bit more frantic, his senses completely overcome with you.
He's so lost in his own pleasure he doesn't even hear you cum. He feels you go limp underneath him, back arching off the bed and your walls spasming around his cock.
He realizes now that you're trying to shove your face in the pillows, a silent sob ripping through your body. He's pulling you to him, and you're suddenly in his lap, as he comforts you with a soothing coo.
When you move your face from the crook of his neck and he's met with your teary eyes and damp skin, he's thrown off the edge.
Your forehead is against his as he bites back a snarl of sorts, pumping into you from below with as much restraint as he can muster as to not overwhelm you since you've just cum as well.
He has to move his hands away from you for a quick second, opting for the bed sheets instead while you cling onto him and kiss his cheeks, his jaw, his neck. He feels selfish, but he also doesn't want to crush your hip bones in such a state.
Your breathing is still uneven, even after several minutes and once he's sure that he's in his right frame of mind, his arms are around you again.
Your body is sweetly ravaged by his mouth, lips leaving a wet trail over too much skin in such a short amount of time. You're still sensitive, wincing as his enthusiasm causes you to shift on his lap.
"Oh." He uses one arm to wrap around your middle, slowly pulling you off of his dick and lying you down against the comforter.
You whine at the loss of contact as he disappears, returning in a blur with a warm, damp cloth. He's in between your legs, wiping away your shared mess and muttering soft sorrys when he's just a smidge too rough. You're still embarrassed by his need to take care of you like this, bashfully looking away.
You don't realize he's gone and returned until the covers are being thrown over your body, his arms securing you to his solid chest and his lips against your ear.
"You need sleep, don't argue." He kisses the back of your head and you smile to yourself, snuggling further against his figure. You feel like you're being warmed from the inside out, despite how cool his skin is against yours.
"M'not gonna argue, you made me tired," The thump of your pulse and the shy lilt to your voice satisfies him, and he wishes that he could make love to you all over again.
"When will you take me to go meet the others?" Your speech is already slightly slurred with sleep, a yawn following. He sighs, kissing behind your ear.
"Give me until tomorrow night, I need to discuss a few things. Then we'll go, I promise."
He wishes that this could be a more exciting prospect for him, that in the back of his mind he weren't, for the first time in a long time, genuinely worried about how his brothers might react.
It's got nothing to do with his capability. Without question he will keep you safe, his strength is comparable to the eldest and he'd forge fire if it meant having you whole and in his arms.
But his coven, they're different than what he knows you're expecting. He knows that because of primal, and ancestral rules that they will not lay a hand on you.
If he's honest, it's more so what might come out of their mouths that worries him. He can't have them slip up and say something they're not supposed. It'll kill him if there's even one crease of worry or sadness etched onto your pretty face. He won't allow it.
But if it's important to you, it's important to him. You're here, asleep in his arms, and he's certain that if he had a soul, he would trade it if it meant another lifetime of your existence.
Johnny isn't next to you when you wake up, which isn't a particularly uncommon occurrence. It's just that normally he'd let you know beforehand, even shaking you awake sometimes just to mumble a be back soon in your ear, despite the fact that you're half asleep.
You reach over to your bedside table to grab your phone, clicking it on and feeling a bit less tense realizing he's left you a message. You smile.
Sorry I had to leave so early, sweetheart. I'm speaking with my brothers and getting some things taken care of. Don't worry. I love you and I'll see you soon. xx
He must be serious, about the way they behave. It's not that you don't believe him, you'd just rather see the positives, in whatever way you can. It's a little bit startling to think about today, if you're honest. Especially after such an all consuming night, the sun now too bright in your eyes, the scent of Johnny still on your sheets and clothes.
You feel anything but dark and dreary when you think of him. That's not to say he's not quite scary if you don't know him. Broad and towering, gaze low and piercing in a way that'll have you looking away nervously if he were to make eye contact with you.
But you can't imagine him as anything but what he is, beautiful and lively and kind, soft around the cold hard edges.
You stretch as you rise from your bed, joints popping as you pull yourself onto your feet. You wince slightly, realizing between your thighs is still fairly sore, ghosts of his touch lingering on your heated skin.
You and Johnny don't have sex incredibly often, at least not by normal human couple standards. It's pretty obvious why. His ability to control his strength, his desire, his thirst; in that state, as he has explained, it leaves him a little bit frayed.
It's not like you're not satisfied anyways, he's more than generous with his mouth and fingers, and despite the fact that he holds nearly half of his full vigor back when the two of you are intimate, it's still a little bit throttling for you afterwards.
The day is boring without him, quite frankly, but despite whatever you may think about it, you still respect his decision to plan ahead for your visit.
You do get it, it's not that. If anything, you just feel too safe with him. To the point where you sometimes feel invincible in his arms.
It almost makes up for the fact that you don't get to show him off as much as you'd like, as silly as it sounds. His kind can go out in the sun, but it's a bit bothersome after a while from what you've heard. He is almost a cliché in that department, most days either spent with him in doors or at night.
Sometimes, though, you wonder what it would be like if he were human. It wouldn't make a difference, you're sure of that, because he'll always be your Johnny. But the thought does venture into your mind every now and then, because of the way he speaks of his humanhood. As if he's trying not to admit how much he misses it.
You often wonder what he must have looked like when he could blush, with his vibrant smile on show, and dimples high on his soft cheeks.
A small, selfish part of you envies the people who might have gotten to witness him like that. Warm, a little uncoordinated maybe, eyes topaz in the sun. He must have been a sight to behold, throughout his human life.
Deep down, a part of you knows that, that is what this whole thing with his brothers boils down to. You're not just curious, you're madly in love with him. So much so that when he's away, it does feel uncomfortable. You never believed people when they spoke of love that way, you always thought it to be quite gross, actually.
And maybe you're just a silly little human with silly little feelings, to be so smitten after a year. But there's no going back now, he's a part of you, so of course you think about how much of him you've never gotten to see. Of course you want to meet any tangible part of his incomprehensible life, his family. Even if it's not conventional.
It leaves an odd pit in your stomach, thinking of him young and youthful, thinking of his mother and father and the life that they had created so many lifetimes ago.
You think of him at eighteen, maybe still plush in some areas not yet tainted by the work of adulthood. Had he ever been in love, back then? You swallow back the irrational bitterness you suddenly taste.
You think of him at twenty, and what he might have been passionate about. What life was even like for him. You think of his first kiss, and him at twenty four, a year before his life as what he is now, began.
Truthfully, you don't know a lot about him. It's a strange, sudden realization, but it's just never really mattered in all honesty. Because you know him, how he is now, which is all you'll ever get and is more than what you could've ever asked for.
You've always felt like it's different because his existence in itself has been so tremulous, and in a lot of ways very hard to talk about without it getting uncomfortable because of all that he has lost, or subsequently reminding him of what he is.
Never things he'd admit out loud, but definitely something you've picked up on in his expression or the wistfulness in his voice. It doesn't matter, to you; the bad parts. He's yours, and somehow you two have found each other despite so many centuries vouching on never having met one another at all. You wish you could truly express to him how nothing would ever stray you away.
You've showered and eaten an inadequate dinner by the time Johnny shows up, presence barely perceptible until he's wrapping his strong arms around you from behind.
You're used to it by now, not even flinching anymore. You melt instantaneously, placing your hands over his that are resting around your waist.
"Hi." He whispers, lips against the shell of your ear. You shiver and let out a giggle, turning in his grasp to get a kiss. He's on your lips before you even have to lift yourself on your tippy toes.
"Mm, hi." You mumble, hands cupping his jaw. You hum as he pulls you closer, spinning you so that you're pressed against the counter, his hand on the small of your back blocking you from the hard edge.
"We could stay here, you know," he smiles against your mouth, half teasing and half serious. "a change of plan never hurt anybody."
The idea is actually tempting.
"But I just showered." You pout, and his hands are rubbing your sides, eyes contemplative.
"You're right, you shouldn't go over there smelling anymore enticing than you already do, anyways." He says it with a grit of his teeth, as if the mere thought bothers him.
You're too distracted by his face to really absorb what he's saying, smiling up at him, practically beaming. Before he can quirk his brow and boop your nose with the tip of his finger, you kiss him again.
It's chaste, but it's sincere.
"You're so cute when you're all disgruntled." You state, throwing your arms around his neck. He snorts, shaking his head and licking his heart shaped lips lips out of habit.
"I'm not disgruntled, I just want this to go well." He replies, broad shoulders slumping. You unhook your arms from around him to grasp his hands, large and welcoming in yours. He intertwines your fingers.
"It will. Because I'm with you." It's simple, and undeniable. He knows that, and accepts defeat when he sees how truly bright the gleam in your eye is. You're his own little sun. 
During the drive to his home, Johnny takes this time to give you some much needed insight on the creatures you’ll be meeting. He gives you their names, some key characteristics so that you won’t be startled by their behavior, but he doesn’t give you their ages. He simply refers to the one named Yuta as the oldest, and Mark as the youngest. 
“Youngest and oldest in vampire years or..?” You ask, the corner of his mouth twitching into an amused smile at your interest. You forget to focus for a moment, tracing the planes of his side profile with your eyes. 
“Yuta was my age when he was changed, but he is, in our terms, the eldest. Mark is the youngest both in the factors.” His thumb strokes the back of your knuckles where your clasped hands rest on the center console, though it doesn’t soothe all the burning questions that you’ve decided need to stay in your head, for now. 
You think of mark first, something about his youth, despite the fact that he is centuries older than you, seeming a little bit less intimidating. Almost abstract, in a way. As he describes the youngest, it’s easy to picture a boyish smile, innocence. Until he throws in the fact that the ones that get changed before the brain is fully developed, tend to be the ones with more of an unsteady grasp on their more potent emotions. You can guess what that means, and he suddenly regrets ever opening his mouth. 
Johnny almost debates whether or not he should turn the car around and forget about this occasion all together, growing anxious at your monotone expression and the way you are chewing the skin of your bottom lip, and not realizing you are just lost in deep thought, not perturbed or uncomfortable. 
Really, you are just trying to make out what his brothers may be like. Taeyong, Jaehyun, Jungwoo, Doyoung. For some reason, it’s the thought of meeting Yuta that seems the most daunting. Despite the fact that he is Johnny’s age, not technically but anyways - knowing that he has been around for so long has you wondering how a person like that even thinks. 
Maybe you should've listened to your boyfriend. No, you're brave. But sometimes you are not very smart.
You are pulled for your reverie of sorts when your surroundings become darker, gloomier in the way that the trees seem to shield the road ahead from the sun, forming a canopy from above and casting misshapen shadows across the ground.
You don’t realize you’re clutching his hand tighter until Johnny turns to look at you with worried eyes, all the stars and every wish that he could ever grant you swirling in his chocolate irises. 
“Are you alright? We can turn around and-” 
You shake your head in defiance, determined. You aren’t going to back out now, not when you can already see the house from around the bend, pillars high and spiraling, a wide balcony peeking out from behind the trees. 
“I’m perfectly fine, promise.” you give him a soft, reassuring smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes but he knows you’ll likely scowl at him if he keeps insisting on your indifference, so he takes the car just a little bit further, rounding a bend and stalling before cutting the engine. 
The house is a lot more grand that you’d previously expected, the outside still kempt but not as pristine. Mostly, you thought that it would offensive to coin their home as something dark and menacing, not wanting to contribute to the cliché. But, it does in fact feel as though you are walking into a lair.  
It’s beauty is undeniable, though, despite the lack of real warmth that it exudes. Upon entering, wide open space greets you, black marble flooring underneath your boots and a staircase straddling either side of the entryway. Above it is a balcony, hanging over the foyer from the second floor. 
“So I was correct, about the furniture.” You murmur, pressed against his hard side with your arms wound around his forearm despite the fact that the house is seemingly empty. You know that it’s not, though. Any living being who walked into this house would be able to feel it, the static that seems to raise the hair on the back of your neck. 
“You'll have to forgive our complacency when it comes to interior design,"  
The voice seems to appear out of nowhere, melodic and smooth and echoing off of the walls in a way that makes the direction of the sound imperceptible. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see someone making their way down the left staircase, gliding more so than walking. 
"So many years leave us comfortable, rather than fashionable."
Two figures float behind him, while three others descend down the opposite staircase. You could've sworn you'd only glanced at Johnny for half a second, before they suddenly materialized.
The man is suddenly right in front of you, and your eyes act as if they have no choice but to meet his, your breath stalling. It reminds you of the first time you saw Johnny, how shocking it was to be faced with such inhuman beauty.
"My name is Taeyong, it's lovely to meet you." The creature flashes a bright smile, something unreadable in his sharp eyes. His quaint lips are mischievous, or maybe you're just paranoid.
You don't have a chance to respond, already surrounded by a group that seem oddly eager to meet you despite what Johnny had warned, their gate an obvious contrast to your boyfriends. 
They seem to sway effortlessly rather than stand perfectly still, their proximity closer than that of strangers. The energy around them feels unpredictable, and without thought your hand tightens around Johnny's.
"Wow, she smells good." A voice muses from the group, and you follow it to find a face that you somehow automatically know belongs to Mark. His face is youthful, eyes wide and full of glee and then a bit amused, due to what you can assume is from your boyfriend glaring at him sharply.
"No wonder he's so attached." The boy beside Mark, with dimples as deep as you've ever seen, hums to his friend.
"Please, don't be so crude, children. She is our guest." This voice is authoritative, the timbre low but the tone gentle like the stroke of a feather.
The group seems to make way for him without thought, and again, you're instantly struck with recognition simply by his presence alone.
He approaches you without caution, you blink and he's suddenly right there. His hair is longer than the others, curling around his prominent chin and framing his elegant features.
"It's a real pleasure to meet you, we've heard so much about the little human that's enamored our dear brother." You can't look away from his cunning face, his eyes are almost wild in excitement, plush lips stretching across his face to reveal a million wat smile.
He extends his hand towards you, with a bit more reserve now - and the first thing you notice are the sharp, glossy black nails that are more akin to claws, formed into stilettos at the tips of his delicate, slender fingers.
"Careful." Johnny mutters to his brother through his teeth, the man giggling in amusement as he gently takes your hand in his. You hadn't even realized you'd extended it back, his skin almost colder than Johnny's if possible.
"Tsk, so worried. For what reason? Look, I'm being as gentle as a hummingbird. Her hands are so soft."
Yuta. It's undeniable, he's too confident, bemused by this whole ordeal and even more so by the way his brother has stiffened beside you, pulling you back just a fraction of an inch.
The elder sighs wistfully, allowing your hand to drop from his. He meets your eyes once more, your skin buzzing oddly.
"My name is-"
"Yuta. I-I know, I mean I guessed."
It's the first word you've spoken to any them, and your voice is shakier than you'd like, throat dry. The mans lips twitch into a grin, lashes fluttering against his cheeks as he clasps his hands together in a stunned manner.
"Wow, perceptive you are. So sure, despite appearing so meek."
You can't decipher his tone, worried that maybe you've messed up by interrupting him. He seems a bit perplexed, in a curious way. You're grateful for a new voice introducing themselves, directing your attention elsewhere.
"I'm Jungwoo," His voice is the most welcoming. "your skin is so pretty. Is that weird to say?" He mutters the last part to the slender, inquisitive man beside him, who's features are similar to that of a feline. He seems indifferent.
But, for the first time since you've arrived, you smile, an odd sense of relief flooding through your nervous system. You feel Johnny relax as well, and you glance up at him for just a moment, to see him already looking down at you.
"It's nice to meet you, Jungwoo," The jubilent vampire flashes you a smile. "all of you, really. Thankyou for welcoming me into your home."
"Of course, doll. Should we give her a tour?" Yuta speaks and Johnny responds almost a heartbeat after the elders suggestion.
"I can do that, give her some space." His voice is polite but firm, and Yuta giggles again, while the others back up a bit. Johnny readjusts his grip on your hand and begins moving towards the right staircase, turning his head to send the rest a look you can't see.
He leads you down the left corridor into a massive hallway, the walls a deep shade of plum, floors white marble instead of black like the ones downstairs.
Once you're out of view from the rest, he stills, turning towards you and rubbing his hands up and down your arms.
"I'm sorry about that, really." His eyes are apologetic and you snort, embracing his middle and kissing his chin.
"Sorry for what? I'm fine, they were fine."
He lets out a sigh, broad shoulders slumping as he does so. He believes you enough to not keep on, pressing his lips to your forehead before continuing his non informative tour.
"I wish they'd keep at least some of their thoughts to themselves," you're turning, brought down another lengthy hall with a massive picture window framing the north wall. Heavy burgundy curtains keep the sun from shining through the glass.
To the left is another set of stairs, small in comparison to the ones you've seen so far, framed with elegant railing. "this is my room, up here." He points to the door that sits right at the top of them, lonesome and heavy looking.
Your heartbeat is suddenly loud in your own ears, excitement bubbling in your belly at the prospect of being in a space that belongs to him. He senses this, and smiles to himself as he wraps his fingers around the doorknob and pushes it open.
Everything about his room is inherently Johnny. It's simple, but so very him.
The atmosphere is completely different to what the rest of the house provokes, the floors a deep cherry red, hardwood. A round, red rug sits in the middle of the room, a leather sectional nestled in the corner to the right. Beside it hangs rows of shelves with a multitude of books, more than you'd normally see lounging in some ones room. He's probably read them all three times over by now.
He has a television, which shouldn't make you giggle as it does. It's far bigger than necessary, taking up almost all the space on the eastern wall. There's a door almost adjacent to the one you entered from, which you presume is the bathroom.
"I love it, it's so comfortable in here." You muse, trotting towards the sectional and throwing yourself on the massive sofa. He chuckles, sauntering towards you and lifting your head so that he can place it atop his lap.
He can't lie to himself, it makes him ache in the most pleasant of ways to have you here, in a place that has been his only real peace since he's met you. Well, scratch that. You are his only safe haven.
"Yeah?" He replies, scratching your scalp lightly, studying the softness of your features as you gaze up at him, elated.
"Mhm, it feels like stepping into a different house entirely. Not that I have an issue with the interior design." You playfully mock his brother Taeyong’s earlier words, and laughter bubbles from your boyfriends throat.
"You don't think it's too melancholy? The house, I mean."
You shake your head indifferently, hair ruffling against the material of his jeans that are covering his thick thighs.
"To be honest it is quite....vampire-y, but it's elegant. And big. And knowing you live here makes it not seem so dark."
His hands are suddenly cupping the area just underneath your arms, effortlessly pulling you up so that you're straddling his lap. Your thighs find their place immediately, knees squeezing his torso.
"You're too good. Too pretty to be in a place like this." Despite his tone his eyes are formed into crescent moons from his smile, and you don't fight the urge to kiss him.
"Shush, or I'll battle you to the death." You mumble, his nose nudging your cheek as he tilts his head to move in a steady rythm with your mouth.
"Mm, think I beat you to it." He teases, and you can feel his smile. You're not in the frame of mind to scold him for that one.
Naturally, without even thinking, your body heats up fast from the way he kisses you. Even if he's trying to be chaste, it always ends up with a flame being fed by his tongue. His scent, the sensation of wholeness when you're surrounded by him.
Especially now, in the comfort of and quiet of his room when all you can hear is the smack of your mouths, steady and calculated. You're encapsulated by everything that belongs to the person you love.
A soft push to your shoulders has you humming in confusion, you're still not back on earth when you break apart to see the contrived, reluctant expression that twists his face.
"We can't - not here." He strains, very much so aware of way your hips are planted so firmly against his, the sweet scent of blood that rushes like a current through the area between your thighs.
You pout, and instinctually he's cupping your face between his palms, kissing it away. His fingertips graze the shell of your ear. 
"Don't give me that look, you know why I'm saying no. If they thought you smelled good before, you'd be the finest of dining options if you walked down there wet."
Your body pulses with arousal, arousal that he can practically taste on the tip of his tongue. A petulant whine slips from your throat, while your palms graze his hardening length through his jeans, and his cock twitches.
Fuck. He really can't deny you, can he?
557 notes · View notes
buckyownsmylife · 4 years ago
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Like we did - John Winchester smut
The one where John hears you touching yourself and calling out his name.
Warnings: masturbation (m,f), the social construct of virginity, p in v, oral sex (f), dirty talk.
A/N: so this is for a request I got a while back! I hope you guys like it!
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John’s P.O.V.
Another restless night. That’s what I was expecting when I got back to the bunker after a single dose of whiskey while the boys tried to find someone to go home with. Usually I’d be right there with them, trying my own luck in hopes of getting laid, but not tonight.
Tonight, the only person I wanted to bring back home was already there, but she wasn’t waiting for me.
Shit. I should be in hell for even thinking about her like this. She was Sam’s best friend, after all - young enough to be my daughter. I shouldn’t desire her like I did. And I should definitely not fantasize about her while she was sleeping in the bedroom right next to mine. 
But fuck, I was already doomed anyway. This wouldn’t make a difference in my permanently tainted slate.
Resigning to my fate and hoping that by giving my cock at least some sort of release I’d maybe be able to sleep, I stripped down to nothing and let myself fall down on the bed, staring at the ceiling as I tried to force any remaining guilt to disappear. I deserved this. It had been a lousy, stressful week, and I needed a way to get the tension out. Besides... she would never even know.
My dick throbbed in my fist as I slowly began to jerk myself, in no rush to get to the end as I sorted through the memories that I kept tucked away in a hidden corner of my mind specifically for nights like this one. The shock of meeting her at a run-down dinner, all short skirts and smiles as she shook my hand like I was seventy years old. How she looked with my jacket when I gave it to warm her up after we found her again during a hunt. The little smiles she gave me and the way she looked up at me from under her eyelashes whenever I said something that could be considered suggestive, right before Dean or Sam faked being repulsed by it. The smell of her when she had just showered, the fog from the warm water kind of filled with her, with her essence. I was convinced it was enough to make any living man hard, and if my sons didn’t notice it, it’s because they were dumbasses.
But I was happy that I didn’t have to worry about them taking advantage of the fact that I couldn’t pursue her and ended up dating the girl. I don’t know what I would do with myself - or actually, to them - if I had to deal with seeing my own sons’ hands all over the object of my desires.
In the middle of my walk down pleasure lane, I got so distracted by the feeling of my own fist tightened around my member as I now considered all of the stuff I wished I could do to her, that I barely heard it the first time it managed to slip through the gap in the door. 
The second time it floated around my bedroom though, it made me halt my movements all at once, at first startled to hear someone else in the bunker before realizing just who it was.
Y/N. And by the sounds of it, she was doing the exact same thing as me.
The realization awakened a new wave of desire inside of me, and I had to bite my lip to stop a groan from escaping. If I could hear her, that meant she could hear me too. 
Starting my movements again, I kept them slow enough to still be able to hear anything that might come from the room next door, thinking back on all the times I’d brought someone home and fucked them while thinking of her. Had she heard that too?
“Oh, God.” Sweet Lord, have mercy on my soul. Hearing her moans was one thing, but actual words, coming out in her voice when it was all breathy and whiny like that? I didn’t think I’d be able to keep hearing this without bursting.
I picked up my movements when I heard her whimper before saying another word, but I stopped abruptly when I couldn’t figure out what it was. Was it… Did she fucking moan out “Shawn?”
My heart was pounding as I sat up on the bed, trying to make sense of what I’d just heard. Who the fuck was Shawn? When did she have the time to meet someone ever since she joined us? Or maybe it was someone from her past? Either way, I did not like this at all…
“JOHN!”
This time the word was screamed at such a volume it was impossible to mistake it for anything else. It was my name. My name. She had just cum… screaming my name.
Before I could even realize what was happening, my feet had taken me out of my bedroom and right into hers, and I could only imagine what went through her mind as she tried to fight the post-orgasm haziness to understand what the hell was happening, as I burst through her door completely naked.
Y/N’s P.O.V.
John looked more feral than human as he stared at me, nostrils flared and cock looking painfully hard, but I was still under too much shock to properly react. Besides pulling the covers to hide my body from his gaze, there wasn’t a lot I could do - I wasn’t even sure of what I wanted to do, in the first place.
He looked so hungry, staring down at me completely naked, licking his lips like I was some prized meal he’d been dreaming of tasting. “I can smell your juices,” he commented, and I groaned in embarrassment, but still couldn’t deny the way my entire body tingled, as if calling out to him. 
And when he knelt on the bed, pulling me to meet his lips, that’s when I knew. I’d give him my body, my soul, whatever he wanted to keep getting intoxicated by the taste of his lips on mine.
“You are such a fucking tease, did you know that?” I seriously hoped he didn’t expect me to answer because as his hand trailed down my body, the sheets covering it slipping off of me, his fingers approached my leaking folds and I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t do anything else other than feel the way my clit pulsed in desperate need, like I hadn’t just cum thinking about the very man who was now touching me.
“Been dreaming of having my cock in you for so long,” he whispered against my skin, right when his digit met my throbbing nub, and he swallowed down the whimper I released by forcing my lips to dance with his. “Do you want it, sweetheart? Will you let me fuck you?”
It was so difficult to think with his thumb running circles over my clit, his beard tickling my skin as he rubbed his nose on the crook of my neck, but the question was much too important not to wake me from the spell he was casting on me.
“Y-You want to have sex with me?” John chuckled at my inquiry, that deep, comforting rumble that always made me feel warm inside, but I couldn’t feel relaxed by the familiar sound at that moment.
“How can you even doubt that?” He asked, reaching out to take my hand in his and I didn’t understand why until he was curling my fingers around his hardness, showing me just what he wanted me to do to his erection. Then he took off his hand, leaving me struggling to keep up with the movements he briefly taught me while waiting for my answer.
“B-Because n-no one has ever wanted to before.” The admission came easier than I thought it would, mainly because I was transfixed by my own actions and the member I held so carefully with my sweaty fingers. But then his hands were covering mine, steering me away from my new hypnotizing hobby, calling out for my attention.
“What the fuck do you mean?” I’d been around John for long enough to know that despite the seemingly harsh words, there was absolutely no heat in his tone, only curiosity. But I didn’t know what to say. I figured he’d understood what I meant, just didn’t believe me, and well… What explanation could I give other than the same one that had intrigued him?
When he realized I wouldn’t offer any further clarification, his eyebrows shot up, understanding clear in his features. I could easily hear my hearbeat spiral out of control, scared that this would be a turn off for him, that he wouldn’t want me anymore. I couldn’t even believe that he wanted me in the first place, what the hell would John Winchester see in a little virgin girl, anyway?
“No. There’s no fucking way.” Still, there was no sign of anger or repulse in his voice, only genuine surprise. I remained speechless, looking up at him with fearful eyes, until his arms reached out to embrace and pull me onto his lap. “Fuck, come here. Let me kiss you.”
This time when he pried my lips open to accept his tongue, it was sweeter, even gentle. There was still hunger, it was clear that he wanted me - I could feel his desire in the hard member that was pressed to my navel, instinctively making me grind against him. 
The whimper that escaped my lips had him smiling against my mouth. “You really are innocent, huh? Been driving me crazy all this time, and you had no idea.” A new flood of wetness came and I gasped as I struggled to hold myself on his shoulders, his rough hands forcing me to keep up with the movements I’d been making.
“So fucking beautiful,” he whispered, and I opened my eyes to find him looking at me with an expression that I couldn’t define, an expression that made my heart beat faster than it ever did before. “And you really have no idea, huh?”
I felt inclined to shake my head this time, and his hand cradled my face to caress my cheekbone before his thumb rested against my lips. Instinctively, I opened them to suck it, humming at the taste of his skin, not completely understanding why his sweat tasted so delicious to me.
John’s P.O.V.
I grabbed her face and connected our lips once more, the desire to kiss her far too strong for me to control it. “Don’t know how you’ve managed to remain a virgin,” I commented after we broke apart, grinning at her bashful expression. “But you won’t stay that way for too long. What do you say, hm? Will you let me take you, Y/N?”
The way she perked up at my words was unmistakable. She liked what I was saying, she liked the idea of being mine. I knew it even before she nodded, bottom lip trapped between her teeth.
“Good girl,” I growled, leaning over her to make her release that lip by forcing my tongue inside of her, and I only let her go when my own lungs were devoid of any air. “You’re mine now, darling. And I’m never letting you go.”
She didn’t seem to mind that, but I’d started to grow needy, sitting there with both of us completely naked, making out like two teenagers. So I started touching myself, wanting to relieve some of the tension my member had been accumulating ever since I heard her scream my name.
“Why are you staring, kitten?” The smirk on my face made it clear that I knew what she was so fascinated about, but I still wanted to hear her say it. Despite the pout on her face at my meanness, her pretty eyes were so easy to read. 
She wanted me, just as much as I wanted her.
“I take it you’ve never sucked a dick before, huh?” She shook her head but reached out to touch me, and I groaned at feeling her soft hand encircling my member. “God, you’re such a little angel and a fucking tease at the same time.”
A whimper escaped her lips, and that’s when I realized this sweet, innocent girl got aroused by my dirty ass mouth. “Oh, sweetheart… We’re gonna have so much fun together.” I kissed her once more, my hand wrapping over hers to stop her jerking movements.
“I can’t hold myself back for long enough to teach you how to suck me off, darling. But we’ll always have time for that tomorrow.” A pout still on her beautiful face, she still nodded. “And fuck, I really need to eat that pretty little pussy. Lay back for me, kitten.”
She hesitated for a bit, looking back at her own bed before slowly dropping against the mattress, her legs still over my own. “Open those up. Let me see my meal.” She moaned out loud at my order, but it wasn’t clear if it was the idea of being seen as something for me to eat or the tone that got to her.
“So fucking beautiful,” I whispered, running my knuckles over her spread lower lips before using my digits to open her up to my gaze. I knew she was getting embarrassed with my curiosity, the way she fumbled over the bed made that pretty obvious, but I wanted to explore her through every sense I had.
So in went one finger, until I was knuckle deep inside of her, and the way her breath hitched was just so adorable that I had to chuckle. “I know, I know…” My other hand went to keep her legs spread, but also caress the inside of her thigh, hoping to calm her down. “I bet it already stretches you more than you’re used to, hm? Cute little girl.”
Every single word of my last sentence was punctuated with a harsher thrust of my finger, but once I was done talking, I returned to the previous gentle, soft strokes. And then I leaned down to finally get a taste of her.
“Oh God…” I moaned against her pussy, not quite believing just how sweet she was. “You are delicious, darling. I’m gonna eat you whole.” With my mouth open wide, I could encompass the entirety of her little cunt, and it brought me endless pleasure to see just how wrecked I could make her with a few swipes of my tongue.
Y/N’s P.O.V.
I couldn’t really fathom the amount of pleasure I was receiving. It was like nothing I’d felt before - beyond anything I could have provided for myself, above my wildest dreams.
The moans that left my lips sounded almost foreign to my own ears, and they seemed more like strangled cries than those beautiful melodic sounds I usually heard in porn. It was hard not to compare myself to the little I knew about the world of lust, but it was even harder to care about any deficiencies I may have when John Winchester was eating me out like I was his last meal on Earth.
Another finger slowly made its way inside of me, and I screamed -  more due to the surprise than the stretch. Still, despite the smugness in his gaze, John asked from between my legs, “Do you want me to stop?”
I only realized he was mocking me after I had already blindly reached out for his locks, keeping his face against my cunt, my legs wrapped around his head. “No, no, don’t stop.”
He obliged, keeping his fingers slowly moving in and out while his tongue lapped my wetness, and I could feel the fire rising inside of me. “No biting your lip, kitten.” I hadn’t even realized that was what I had resorted to do, in my efforts to keep my moans in. “I want to hear you.” 
And I tried, I really did. But there were already so many new emotions I was being exposed to, it was hard just letting myself go. And he noticed it. I witnessed the way his eyes darkened, the satisfied smirk disappearing to leave a hungry and terrifying expression on his face.
“You’re usually such a good girl for me… Always following all of my orders, never even questioning me once. What happened?” A shake of my head was the only answer I could provide, hoping my pleading look was enough to get him to take some mercy on me.
But I knew John Winchester, and he wasn’t a merciful man.
“I want to hear you whining for me, sweetheart,” he explained, the hand that wasn’t occupied with my pussy traveling up my body to squeeze a breast before it plucked my lower lip from my teeth, and I choked on his fingers when they buried themselves in my mouth.
Just his confession was enough to have me clenching around his digits, but it still wasn’t enough. I was too tense, the weight of the situation sitting heavily on my lower belly, where all the pleasure seemed to concentrate. I was having trouble breathing, and it felt like the climb towards that high was never-ending.
“Relax for me, hm? I need you to trust me.” I was squirming when his voice reached me, acting like an anchor, bringing me back to the reality of the moment instead of leaving me afloat on the foreign sea of sensations I was exploring. But his words shocked me to open my eyes and meet his, and that’s when I realized just what he meant.
“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” he continued, and I knew. I was never afraid when he was around, and even now, with so many different feelings coursing through me, I knew there was nothing to fear. Especially since he was the one gifting them to me.
“I trust you,” I admitted, and the second his eyes softened, sparkling with something that resembled love, I relaxed in his arms, finally allowing the waves of bliss to crash and take me with them.
Ironically, after my muscles went lax, they tensed before they could relax again. That sea of pleasure, I was now drowning on it - and I never wanted to come up for air.
That is why as soon as I was able to speak again, I pulled on John’s hair once more, desperately pleading, “Please… Fuck me…” The sight of my wetness dripping from his chin just added to the need that seemed to only grow exponentially inside of me. “John, I need you!” I confessed, and that was all he needed to climb up my body and rub his member against my sensitive clit, making me twitch under him. 
Surprisingly, for as much as it hurt when he started to slide his length inside of me, it wasn’t a terrible pain. It was a stretch, and at first, I was sure I’d never get used to it, but there was so much to be excited about, I could only focus on the good.
Like the weight of his body on top of mine. The way he looked deep inside my eyes like he was seeing the most beautiful work of art. The feeling of his skin underneath my fingers, as I clawed on his back, in need of something to anchor me to this experience.
“You feel so fucking good.” Once again, it was his voice that brought me home, making me realize just how connected I felt to the man inside of me at that precise moment.
And then he started moving, and I just lost myself to him.
John’s P.O.V.
I couldn’t control myself, and I couldn’t decide on what to focus on: the feeling of her tight walls rhythmically clenching around me, the warmth of her sweaty skin under my fingertips, or the taste of her under my tongue as I nipped on her jaw, my fingers rubbing her nipples until they were but tight buds.
“Virgin little pussy but you take me so well.” By now, the words left my mouth before I could even process them, taken over by the passion I felt for the woman underneath me.
“Hold tight, darling,” I asked when I realized her instinctively jutting her hips up to meet mine, a clear sign of her discomfort beginning to fade and giving place to strong, untamed passion.
When her arms wrapped themselves around my shoulders, I picked up the pace, still trying to remain gentle as I searched for her sweet spot each time I bottomed out inside of her. She was still so innocent, and so sensitive. It didn’t take long at all to bring her to another orgasm, and when she reached that high, I couldn’t stop mine anymore.
I came so fucking hard a roar escaped my chest as my arms trembled with the strain to keep myself up so I wouldn’t just suffocate her. But when I was still trying to come back to Earth, it was her hands that guided me to heaven, cradling my bearded cheeks as I slowly tried to control my breathing.
“I’m gonna keep you chained to the basement, kitten,” I warned her, becoming completely hypnotized by her sweet little giggle when she threw her head back to laugh. “No one’s going to get near you again.”
379 notes · View notes
withcolebrock · 4 years ago
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Guardian Angel Instead
Summary: While playing the Ouija Board, Y/N realizes she’s talking to someone who is important to her
Requested: yes!
Warnings: swearing, paranormal stuff, angsty kinda
Word Count: 3,242
Author’s Note: I didn’t mean for this to get so long tehe, but I like it and it is wack and I love knj so much. Also I am sorry this took so long to be written, I just was in bad writer’s block but I hope you enjoy it! This is my Gif!
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She stood beside JC as they waited for Sam to finish setting up the camera. She ran her hands together trying to warm them up, it was surprisingly cold and none of them dressed for it. JC turned his head towards her and laughed, rolling his eyes. “Shut up,” she muttered while rolling her eyes. Sam ran back towards the group seeing if the angle was good, he nodded his head while he ran back towards the camera.
Sam glanced towards Colby quickly, “What’s up guys, it’s Sam and Colby!” Colby yelled dramatically, he quickly looked around him seeing if anyone was looking at him. Colby looked towards Y/N seeing her rub her hands together. He furrowed his eyebrows as he looked back towards the camera.
“Today, we are back at the Queen Mary for what? Like the third time now,” he smiled awkwardly towards Colby. Colby shook his head dramatically. “Why do we keep coming back here?” he laughed nervously. Sam looked behind him towards the ship, seeing a few people walking towards the entrance.
“I don’t know,” he laughed while glancing towards the group beside him. He slowly wrapped his arm around Y/N’s waist as he slowly pulled her body towards him. “I’ll keep you warm,” he whispered into her ear. Smiling to herself as she rested her head against his chest. Colby glanced towards the camera, raising his eyebrows.
“But this time we brought Kian, JC, and Y/N with us!” Sam shouted, motioning towards the three people standing between himself and Colby. Kian and JC started jumping slightly and hitting each other. Y/N eyes widened as she looked towards them, disgust written over her features. A small chuckle falls from Colby’s lips as he watches them. He slowly ran his hands up and down her back.
“We may have lied to you guys, just a little bit,” Colby transitioned, he slowly pulled away from Y/N. He kept his hand around her waist. Her mouth dropped open slightly as she crossed her arms over her chest. Colby kept his gaze on Y/N, her eyes squinting slightly as she looked towards him. A small smile formed to his lips as he hoped it would make her feel better.
“What do you mean?” JC asked while shifting his gaze between Sam and Colby.
“There’s no tour,” Sam sighed as he rubbed his hands together. The three guest stared towards Sam, “We are staying the night,” he said barely above a whisper. He bit his bottom lip as he fought off a smile.
“No, no,” Kian said simply as he shook his head. He pulled his backpack straps several times as he continued shaking his head. “I’m not staying the night,”
“We drove you here, how are you going to get home?” Sam teased.
“I’ll take an Uber, Sam!” Kian yelled while he started pacing back and forth.
“What the-I’m not staying the night,” Y/N whispered towards Colby. He shrugged his shoulders, “You kidnapped me, I’m not doing this.”
“Oh come on, Babe, you love spook-”
“Not this place,” she shook her head.
It had taken a few more minutes of Sam and Colby trying to convince them to stay the night. Kian and JC didn’t take long to get convinced to stay while Y/N was never convinced. She was simply outnumbered. As soon as they entered the ship, the vibe felt different and each of their moods faltered. The temperature dropped as soon as they walked inside, it felt even colder than it was outside. Sam, Kian, and JC were leaning their bodies against the check-in desk asking the man as many questions as possible.
Colby took a hold of her hand and pulled her body away from it. She furrowed her eyebrows harshly while he pulled her away from the group. Stopping, he pulled her hand towards him, forcing her body closer to his.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked, his voice was barely above a whisper, forcing his lips into a pout. She tilted her head to the side as she pursed her lips forward. She looked over his pinked features, rolling her eyes playfully as she saw the pout to his lips.
“No,” she drew out the word as he swung their interlocked hands back and forth. He slowly dropped their hands as he wrapped his arms around her body. She giggled while resting her hands onto his chest as he squished her body against his.
“Don’t be mad,” he whispered as he pressed his lips to the top of her head, he slowly ran his hand up and down her back. Shutting his eyes, he tried to calm himself down.
She wasn’t mad at him, maybe more worried than anything. Ever since Sam and Colby’s horrible experience last time, she has been dreading this trip. But she promised Colby that she would go with him. Colby pressed his lips to the top of her head again. He took in a long breath as he slowly rocked her body back and forth.
“I’m just scared,” she muttered. He pulled aways slightly to look her in the eyes. He raised his hand, resting it onto her cheek, he ran his thumb across her cheek for a few silent seconds. “I don’t want the same thing to happen as last time.”
“It won’t, I can promise you that,” he spoke softly as he continued to run his thumb along her cheek. His lips slowly grew into a wide smile while letting out a giggle. “Your cheeks are so warm,” he said happily as he raised his other hand and rested both of his hands onto her cheek. She snickered as she took a hold of his hands.
~~~
“Okay Buddy, mine’s the same size,” JC snapped as he rested his hand against the handprint on the wall of the closet. Colby took his hand away from the wall and laughed. Y/N smiled slightly as she glanced around the small creepy room.
“Can we get out of here?” Kian asked as he continued to play with his backpack straps. The group agreed and they slowly started out of the room. “That’s not a bathroom, JC,” Kian said loudly as he stepped out of the closet. Kian made eye contact with an older employee, who simply shook his head and kept walking.
Sam, Kian, and JC walked ahead towards their room; while Y/N and Colby hung back as they walked slower than them. “Are you feeling alright?” he asked as he reached for her hand. She interlocked her fingers with his as she glanced towards the floor.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight,” she chuckled while she tried to cover the fear in her voice. He nodded slightly.
“We never really sleep on these trips anyway,” Colby tried to comfort her, but he knows that she isn’t the biggest fan of these places. She shook her head as she slowly began to smile.
“I know, you end up texting me all night about how scary it is,” she teased. Colby huffed, pretending to be offended.
“I do not do that,” he said while he ran his fingers through his hair.
“Yes you do! You’re all like “Baby it’s so scary, like this thing happened and then this and then oh my god Babe we didn’t get it on camera but oh my god you had to be there” you’re very dramatic when you want to be,” she mimicked. He dropped her hand and crossed his arms over his chest.
“I am not dramatic,” he huffed, taking slower steps.
“You’re kinda proving my point,” she giggled while she took a hold of his arm and wrapped her arm around his. She interlocked her fingers with his as they continued walking.
“Why are you walking so slow, damn,” JC groaned from several feet ahead of them. Y/N looked up from the floor seeing the three of them standing facing them. Colby's mouth dropped open while he looked up towards the group. “We ain’t got all day, I’m hungry.”
~~~
The last thirty minutes were chaos. Kian and Colby got into a huge argument and it lasted for a while. Kian was accusing Colby of knocking on the door to try and spice up the video. When Colby kept saying he didn’t. Y/N saw how genuinely terrified Colby seemed, she knew that he didn’t. Yet Kian was convinced he did. JC was starting to get fed up with Sam about all of the stuff they were forcing them to do. Y/N sat in the middle, every so often one of them would bring her into the argument. This was supposed to be a ‘fun’ scary trip with her friends.
“For fuck sake! Kian, if Colby says he didn’t knock on the door, he didn’t do it. You are just trying to find any reason for it to not be true. Colby, stop arguing back about it, it isn’t helping; stop trying to prove some point. Sam, if JC doesn’t want to play the Ouija Board, he doesn’t fucking have to! And JC, stop saying Sam is forcing you to do this shit, you chose to come with!” Y/N interrupted the arguments that were happening. All four of them stared towards her, flabbergasted. After a few long awkward moments, she muttered, “Now fucking apologize to each other.”
The boys shifted glanced towards each other, before all muttering, “Sorry.”
“I’m going to go get some ice,” she continued as she took the empty ice bucket and left the room. As soon as she left the room, she felt the temperature change. She didn’t think too much of it as she walked toward the end of the hall. She smiled politely to a few fellow guests walking past her. She stood at the ice machine and began putting a few pieces of ice into her container.
Suddenly she felt goosebumps arise on the back of her neck; as if someone was blowing air against her skin. She whipped her head around seeing if anyone was there, and no one was behind her. Squinting her eyes, she turned her attention back to the freezer, that’s where the feeling had to come from. She topped off the container as she shut the freezer. She turned around, and began walking back towards her room with her gaze towards the floor.
After a few seconds she lifted her head to see a shadow for a split second. She furrowed her eyebrows as she squinted her eyes. Her mind had to be playing tricks on her, there was nothing there. Yet, her heart began to race faster. She began to take quicker steps towards the room they were staying at. But again, the blowing air feeling she felt before was back. This time her entire body went cold.
A small gasp left her lips as she fumbled with the key, she didn’t want to be in the hallway alone anymore. She re-entered the room to see them all laughing and playing fighting with each other. “Fucking boys, I swear,” she whispered to herself as the events she just had left her thoughts. She placed the ice on the table as she walked towards the bed. “Are you all okay now?” she asked as she sat down, running her hand over the back of her neck.
“Yep!” Sam cheered as he slowly placed the Ouija Board box on the ground. Y/N watched him, her heart began to race fast as she watched. “We are just about to start filming this,” he leaned down and began to unbox the set.
Colby laid down beside her, resting his head into her lap. Y/N smiled as she met his soft eyes. She slowly began to run her fingers through his hair, he shut his eyes at the feeling. “JC is out, are you going to do it?” Kian asked, wishing he could’ve backed out; but he had too much pride for that. Y/N took in a long breath as she nodded.
After about ten minutes of Sam setting up the two cameras, JC was sitting in the chair in the corner of the room scrolling through Twitter. Kian was pacing, he was nervous because he had never done this before. Colby was still resting his head in Y/N lap as she stroked her fingers through his hair. Y/N and Colby were whispering random cutsey things to each other tuning out the others in the room.
Sam slowly started the cameras, he snuck over towards them secretly filming them. “...No I was thinking we could-”
“Oh come on guys get a room!” Kian yelled beside Sam. Colby jolted looking towards the camera. He laughed nervously covering his face with his hands. Y/N shook her head slightly as she looked away from Sam and the camera. “We got some dead people to talk to!” Kian jumped slightly as he clapped. Y/N laughed as Colby slowly sat up from her lap.
~~~
They all took a long breath as they greeted the board as they rested their fingertips to the piece. Y/N kept her gaze towards Colby, hoping he would say something first. He nodded towards Sam as he whispered, “Is there anyone here with us?” For a few seconds the board didn’t move. Colby, being impatient, asked the board the same question. Almost immediately after his question the piece moved over to the ‘yes’.
Y/N felt air catch in her throat as she noticed the piece moving, she stared intently at each of their fingertips seeing if anyone was forcibly moving it, but from what she can tell there was nothing. Her heart was beating hard against her chest, while she glanced towards each of the boys beside her. “What is your name?” Sam asked.
It took awhile for the board to begin to move but it began to slowly move towards the R. They all read out the letters together as the board moved towards them, “R...U...T...H” Y/N felt her heart sink, she recognized that name. It was a popular name with the older generation. She put the thought to the back of her head.
Colby glanced towards Y/N, remembering the name of her family member, he also pushed the thought to the back of his head. “Did you die on this ship, Ruth?” Kian asked, right to the point. This time the board did not hesitate, it quickly moved towards the ‘no’.
“Oh my god,” Y/N whispered, her voice was so soft that it was almost inaudible.
“Then why are you talking with us?” Sam asked, trying to keep the conversation going for as long as he could. Y/N wanted to let go of the board, she wanted to throw it across the room. Several long seconds pass as they wait eagerly for the board to move. The board piece began to spell out Y/N’s name, as each letter was read the more their voices began to shake.
“Colby, are you doing this?” she asked furiously, her breathing was sporadic. She was confused. He shook his head, making sure he kept his hands on the piece.
“Why would I do this, Y/N?” his voice broke as his entire body was shivering. “She’s clearly here for you, ask it a question,” she stared towards him, her eyes filling with tears. The tears were unexplainable, she was filled with mixed fillings.
“Uh, okay,” she took in a long breath, “How do I know that this is really you?” she asked. It was a broad question, but she still had to ask it. She was hoping for an answer that Colby wouldn’t even know the answer to.
The board began to move again, slowly, “B...U...N...N...Y” the boys were staring at it confused, but Y/N eyes filled quickly with tears. “Oh god,” she let out as she stared towards the board.
“Bunny? What does that mean?” Colby asked, he desperately wanted to reach over to her and pull her into a hug, but he didn’t want to mess up the board.
“Why are you here?” Y/N ignored Colby’s question. Her voice cracked as she spoke, she was fighting off the tears. It had been years since she last spoke to her Grandma, she didn’t realize how much she missed her. At least she hoped this was truely her grandma.
The board quickly began to spell out, “S...A...V...E”
“Save? Save? What does that mean?” Colby asked, he wasn’t sure if he was asking the board or asking the group. The board quickly responded with spelling out, “B...A...D”
“I-I-I want to say goodbye,” she muttered, she looked up towards Colby. Her breathing began to quicken as she couldn’t fight off the tears anymore.
“But-” Sam spoke.
“I want to say goodbye!” she groaned. The group quickly spun the piece three times as they said goodbye. She lifted her hands from the board and quickly stood up from the floor. “Turn the cameras off, please,” she begged. Colby glanced towards Sam, as he quickly wrapped his arms around her. Sam quickly turned off the cameras, and began to put away all of the equipment. Kian and JC exchanged awkward glances as they looked towards Y/N and Colby.
“It’s going to be okay,” Colby whispered, “Come here,” he whispered, walking her towards the bed. They both laid down together.
“Well that was interesting,” Kian let out, trying to subdue the awkward silence. Colby gaze shot towards him, widening his eyes motioning towards Y/N. Kian’s mouth dropped open as he mouthed “Sorry,” as he leaned against the chair JC was sitting on.
It had been a couple hours since the Ouija Board, and Y/N was in shock. She kept asking Colby if he was pushing it, but he kept saying no. “I just want to know what she wants to save me from, I just don’t get it,” she let out, she kept running her finger along Colby’s shirt. For the last hour she was resting her head on his chest as they all discussed the events of the day.
“Probably, just some spirit that's on this ship, right?” Sam answered casually as he looked up from his phone briefly. She simply just hummed. “That’s kind of cool to think you have someone looking down on you,” he continued. Y/N smiled softly.
“It could’ve been a demon pretending to be your Grandma too, you know,” JC let out without thinking it through. Colby shifted his head towards JC with his eyes widened. He threw his free hand up while he shook his head, trying to warn him. Y/N was thinking about that fact too, “I saw something on Discovery channel that’s-”
“Just stop talking dude,” Kian interrupted as he lifted his gaze from his phone.
“I mean he’s right, that is something that could’ve happened,” she let out.
“How about we go with a guardian angel instead?” Colby whispered as he pressed his lips to the top of her head.
“Yeah, I like that better,” she whispered as she sat up slightly. She looked down towards Colby. She leaned down and pressed her lips against his. Sam, Kian, and Jc all began to pretend to gag.
“Get a room!” Sam yelled as he threw a pillow towards them.
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anyoneseenadam · 3 years ago
Text
The Moon Spirit - three
Dorian x reader, Fenrys x reader (throne of glass)
Description: When you’re taught to be a queen from such a young age, nothing could go wrong. But when the king starts to fear your growing power you find yourself thrust into a world of faeries, evil magic and powerful men, learning to stand on your own can be harder than it seems.
warnings: Fenrys being cute, badass reader but like a shit ton of angst, allusions to sexual assualt (Fenrys canon stuff), mentions of weapons? idk if that counts
word count: 4.4k
a/n: so this took a while but it’s finally done, please comment it genuienly keeps me going cause it’s super easy to get unmotivated, hope you enjoy <3
——————————————————————————
After he left you, Fenrys begrudgingly found himself back at the palace, bowed on one knee in front of Maeve. She looked cruelly beautiful as always but there was something more sinister sparkling in her eyes today, remaining quiet as he stood back to his full height, meeting her gaze with wavering confidence.
“Who have you been with?” she finally broke the silence and he cursed himself for thinking he could ever get away with that.
“I just walked a young girl home, she was new, and I was afraid someone may take advantage of her if she was alone,” he spoke truthfully, allowing Maeve to push into his mind as she searched for a hidden lie.
He watched as she drew in a sharp breath, something like fear flickering across her face before her tightly drawn lips spread into a wide smile.
“Come here,” she commanded, and he went to stand in front of her, close enough to smell her sickening perfume and to see the flawless texture of her skin. “Do you love this girl?”
He shook his head, no, and she ran a hand down his face in a motherlike way. “Good, you will be recruiting her.” His eyes widened and he had to put his energy into not flinching away.
“What?” he spoke with an incredulous tone and Maeve glared at his lack of respect making him bow his head. “Sorry your majesty, I’m just slightly confused. She was just a young girl and didn’t seem to have any former training.”
“And that’s why I’m in charge, you men are too foolish. That was a powerful girl, and I would rather she remained on my side than any other.” He frowned, powerful? She had seemed kind, lost and strong enough to hold her own – but not powerful.
“I need you to see her again, convince her to join.” Fenrys physically felt the command go through him and he stood taller again, nodding gruffly as she waved her hand in dismissal.
--
Your first few days of work had been harder than expected, and you had gone home with aching muscles from lifting books and sore cheeks from plastering on smiles. Albert had made your days easier, drinking hot tea with you as you slowly revealed more and more about your past to him, his kind, old eyes lulling you into a comforting state.
But you didn’t receive rest when you got home. Ploughing through books on spirits and practicing using the limited magic you had found until the early hours of the morning, getting barely two hours of sleep a night unplagued by nightmares. By your fifth day Albert had handed you a pot of cosmetic product to hide the circles forming, commenting on scaring the customers away as you stuck your tongue out at him but smearing some on regardless.
On the second Saturday after your arrival you had a day off and used it to venture into the market, your empty shelves no longer sustaining you, let alone Amaris. Your basket soon filled with colourful fruits and vegetables, and you were browsing the fish section when a shadow fell over you.
“Let me take that for you,” you turned to see Fenrys standing over you with that same easy smile, his head tilted slightly. You rolled your eyes, trying to block out the feelings expanding in your chest at just the sight of him.
“And here I thought I had lost you,” you muttered, and he laughed, taking your basket from you, and paying for the wrapped salmon you had just been passed. “You don’t need to do stuff like that,” you told him, and he took your arm as he led you out of the market.
“Can’t help myself, I see a pretty girl in need and boom, I have to help.” He joked and you laughed lightly.
“Oh yeah, the damsel in distress disease, I’ve heard that’s a nasty one to cure,” he smiled down at you with a sparkle in his eyes.
“Not really, all I need is a kiss,” he tugged you closer and you squealed, shoving him away as he laughed.
“As I said, nasty.” He dramatically put a hand to his heart, throwing his head back in distress.
“You wound me darling,” he complained, and you laughed, hating how much you genuinely enjoyed his company. You reached your apartment in no time, and he stood at the bottom of the steps leading up to your door.
“So no invitation of tea, a glass of wine, a home cooked meal?” he asked, and you rolled your eyes,
“I’m afraid I reserve that for people I like,” he raised his eyebrows, hopping up the steps two at a time.
“Even if I have genuine cause to talk to you?” he asked and the sincerity in his eyes made a shot of fear run through you. He couldn’t know, could he?
“What is it?” you asked, and he smiled softly, a little pain shining through his loving eyes.
“The queen has a proposition to make.” His voice quietened and you straightened your posture, your entire demeanour switching in a second.
“Come in.” you opened the door and stepped in, allowing him to duck as he followed.
The first thing he noticed was how barren your apartment was, a simple kitchen, connected to a room with a pale blue sofa and worn coffee table. Your shelves were bare, and he sneaked a look into your room as he passed the open door, your mattress on the floor covered by only a thin blanket and a few cushions, one incredibly expensive looking gold dress on the floor, stained dark red. But before he could venture further in he heard you cooing in an impossibly soft voice.
He turned the corner and blanched at the sight he saw, “What the?”
You turned from were you were feeding small bits of salmon to a pure white bundle of fluff that hissed as soon as it saw him. “Amaris, be polite!” you scalded, and he surveyed the cat with a wary look, untrusting of the small creature.
“You have a cat.” He stated, suddenly completely unsure of his taste in women.
“No he’s actually a spider,” you deadpanned and Fenrys pouted.
“But I thought you’d be a dog person,” he complained, and you laughed, moving to throw open the curtains in the room before you started putting away the food you had bought, boiling a pot of water over your stove.
“I just like animals, why does it matter?” you asked, and he threw his arms up before transforming into his wolf form. You gasped and Amaris meowed loudly, scampering to hide behind your legs.
“You’re a wolf.” You stated and he turned back with a smile.
“No I’m a spider,” you flipped him off as you turned to put the rest of your food away.
“I prefer you as a wolf, they’re one of my favourite animals,” you told him and he smiled, sticking his tongue out childishly at Amaris who just sauntered of to doze on a pillow.
“So, what does the queen want?” you asked, pouring the hot water into a pot you had prepared, and he sat down on your worn-down sofa, cringing as it creaked under his weight. You followed suit soon after putting the pot and two mugs down, curling your feet underneath yourself as you looked at him.
“Well, she has told me that you’re actually extremely powerful and because of this she wants to recruit you. She wants you to join the Cadre.” He spoke surely and confidently but his eyes shone with wariness.
“Okay first of all, I’m not at all powerful, secondly how would she even know if I was, which I’m not! And third, what is The Cadre?” he laughed slightly and moved forward to pour himself a cup of tea.
“Well you clearly are because she recognised you and always knows these things, trust me. She’s never wrong about this. And The Cadre is a group I’m in, elite soldiers sworn to protect Maeve.” He explained and you shook your head.
“Fenrys I barely know basic self-defence, I’m not a soldier. And I don’t want to be sworn to royalty.” Your hands were shaking slightly at the thought of being sworn to another tyrant, “Plus in all honesty I only found out I was Fae on Monday, so I’m not exactly well versed in this shit.”
“How did you not know before?” he asked – frowning.
“The country I… come from, there was no magic. The king wiped all magic out years ago.”
“Why?” It was an understandable question but still made you panic, he couldn’t know.
“I don’t know, all I know is he did, so those alike me – with magic but born into a magicless world – never got to know.” You were good at concealing emotions, that much Fenrys could see. You seemed to have iron walls built into the clouds around your heart, protecting it as fiercely as you would Amaris.
“Well, Maeve wants to meet with you soon, so let me know when you decide gorgeous,” he stood, and you smiled at him gratefully for not prying further.
“I’m really sorry Fenrys I just don’t think it’s a good idea. As I said I’m not a soldier.” He nodded but his eyes still conveyed a sense of worry.
“Well keep in mind you would get to train with me, probably shirtless.” He joked as you opened the door for him, grinning when you laughed loudly, shoving him through the door.
“Bye Fenrys,” you said, eyes sparkling as he waved, whistling his way down the street comically.
You closed the door as your smile fell, a weight settling on your chest as you already knew why he looked so wary – Kings and Queens didn’t understand the word no.
--
You practically ran to the library the next day, opting to bring Amaris with you as he peeked out of the small handbag you had found stuffed into the back of your closet. When you flew into the library you instantly sought out Albert, who took one look at your flushed, shining appearance and abandoned the pile of books he was putting away, motioning for you to sit down.
You sat quickly, huffing out a breath as Amaris crawled out of his makeshift home and started exploring the new territory of the small backroom reserved for staff only.
“What bothers you child?” Albert’s voice was steady as always and his dry, warm hands grasped yours gently as your eyes filled with unshed tears.
“I just – I needed to talk to someone,” you stuttered out, your breath coming in harsher pants as he shushed you.
“Take a minute and allow yourself to breathe first dear,” he commanded, and you pressed a hand to your heart as you tried to slow its pounding. “Start from the beginning, tell me what’s wrong.”
“The man I loved, his- his name was Dorian, Dorian Havilliard.” You said quietly and Albert let out a small chuckle.
“I presumed as much, I visited Adarlan once, and an old man never forgets the face of a princess.” You looked at him through blurry eyes, confused.
“You knew?” he smiled sadly at you.
“I was 90% certain, but I would never have pressured you to reveal secrets like that.” He passed you a tissue, “But I sense that’s not all that weighs heavy on you?”
You shook your head, “Queen Maeve has made clear that she wishes me to join the Cadre.”
Albert’s face changed with the clear shock, and you bowed your head, shamefully.
“And what did you say?” he asked slowly.
“No, of course! I don’t have any desire to be another monarch’s puppet.” You stated and he shushed you again.
“You need to remember that people always listen.” He scolded, repeating one of the first things he had told you when you started working. “I agree that you should be cautious, but perhaps gaining the queens protection would be beneficial. Plus you would become an extremely skilled swordsman.”
“I am not a man, nor do I wish to be.” You said through gritted teeth, “And I vowed that I would become skilled on my own and go back to Dorian.”
“Yes but if you join, you will be more skilled than ever before,” Albert reasoned and you shook your head, tears welling up again.
“I thought you’d be on my side for this, you are the one who told me to be careful around powerful people.” You felt unjustly betrayed as he spoke and his shoulders slumped slightly, sighing before grasping your hands lightly again.
“I am dear, and I urge you to do what you think is best. But I am simply reminding you that if you truly want to beat this king you are being offered power on a silver platter right now, and perhaps it would be foolish to deny yourself it.” You let his words run around your head as you worked overtime trying to figure out a plan.
“Say I joined – what do I need to do to ensure I don’t become another puppet?” you asked, and he smiled at you.
“First of all, she will offer a blood oath and you must refuse it with everything you have in you – she came to you remember you hold the power. On that note you must summon all those queenly powers of yours and ensure when you speak to her, she is meeting you and she is trying to win you over. Never the other way around.” You nodded, pocketing the information in your head. “When in the palace you are always being watched, always being listened to, so keep your wits about you. But I’m sure you’re used to that by now.”
You laughed under your breath, “It’ll be just like going home,” you commented, and he smiled.
“Sadly yes, now take this money. Go but a new dress and tomorrow you will take a carriage, you can’t walk there.” You thanked him softly, placing the gold in the purse you held, “You’re a kind girl, that is what makes you strong and that’s what will make you a good queen. Don’t let them take your heart.”
Your throat tightened and you nodded due to the lack of trust you held for your voice, standing, and collecting your bag in one hand and Amaris in the other. Albert stood to take you to the door with a smile, and a gentle pat on the shoulder.
“You can have tomorrow off work as well, however I feel our work together is already coming to an end.” You smiled softly, allowing him to pet Amaris’ head softly before he kissed your cheek gently, ushering you out the door.
“Have a good night Albert,” you said, turning to see him watching you with sorrowful eyes.
“Remember what I told you dear, don’t let them take your heart.” Your smile was sad as you spoke,
“I won’t.” You both heard the lie but, neither of you decided to correct it. Not tonight.
--
Of all the things Fenrys expected to see the next morning, you were the one he hoped for. But as he looked around at the powerful men surrounding the room he felt white-hot panic seize him as he realised what you were about to do. You hadn’t even looked at him when you walked in, keeping your eyes trained solely on Maeve, not even dropping them as you dropped in a low curtsy.
He was even more shocked by the blood red dress you adorned, the v-neck deep and skirts long with a slit up either leg, high enough to reveal the halter you wore with a silver dagger and a ruby encrusted hilt secured into place. Every man, woman and mouse watched as you walked through the room – head high and shoulders back, revealing enough to entrance everyone in the room but covering enough to keep them wanting more and he felt his anger grow as he watched you.
You waited with a soft, but condescending, smile on your face, allowing Maeve to regrasp some power by speaking first – every movement so calculated and precise. As he watched you he saw the power and understood the fear and lust building in the room.
“So I guess you heard my offer.” Maeve finally said, drawling low with relaxed posture.
“I did.” Your statement was short, to the point but you saw it grate Maeve’s nerves and smiled as sweet as spun sugar, “Your majesty.”
“And?” he watched as Maeve grew more agitated and was surprised she hadn’t killed you yet, usually not standing for even an ounce of insubordination.
“I am willing to accept on one condition – I’m not taking a blood oath.” He had to fight jumping in the air with glee as you spoke, so afraid you were going to get tangled in the mess he was in. Maeve’s face grew dark, but you held your ground, never letting your eyes stray lest she see your weakness.
“Well that’s simply not viable,” she stated, glaring you into the ground but you just smiled again, nodding with a polite laugh.
“I see, well this was a lovely meeting, gentlemen.” You raised your hand politely as you moved to leave, your eyes finally flittering over him and the rest of the cadre. You bowed once again to Maeve, making to leave when Maeve raised her hand.
“We are not finished.” She stated.
“Well I’m terribly sorry your majesty but I’ve made my terms extremely clear, and since you refuse to budge - I believe we are done.” Your voice was still sweet, but he watched your face change slightly, every bit a queen looking down upon her people. He couldn’t help but wonder were you learned to speak this way, but Maeve simply laughed.
“Yet here you are,” she spoke with a mocking tone, and you smiled with your teeth this time.
“Need I remind you that you sought me out, if I have terms it should be in your best interest to meet them if you wish me to join your miniature army.” Fenrys heard Lorcan snarl lowly next to him but gripped his arm in warning.
“Oh your training is impressive princess, but I’m afraid it will be of no use.” Your face didn’t budge as Maeve spoke, but Fenrys watched as something flickered through your eyes, “You see, I learn of misdemeanours in other courts very easily and I wish to show you what I learned of Adarlan.”
“There’s nothing you could show me that I won’t have seen before,” you said, and he watched the two of you laugh like you were mingling at a party instead of standing of in a court.
“Oh I’m afraid this is relatively new, you might reconsider your terms after this,” you stood straight as Maeve walked down the steps and moved to whisper something the rest of them couldn’t hear in your ear, her hand pressed lightly to the base of your neck.
She pulled away after a few minutes and he took in your now shaking hands, eyes filled with tears you clearly refused to let fall. You took in a steadying breath before speaking, “You’re lying.”
“Oh I wish I was princess, but I can only show the truth and it appears your prince had moved on rather quickly, what use is there going back to a country where you can no longer rule.” She stroked your hair condescendingly and you chewed the inside of your lip as it quivered. “But here, here – under my control – you have power of your own. Men will no longer hold onto you like a prized pony, you will become something they fear, you will be my perfect princess, the daughter I never got to have.”
Fenrys inhaled sharply, he knew Maeve never planned to relent the throne, especially not to a woman from another country. She looked at you like you were a doll, something for her to reshape and change. You must have seen it to, but through your blurry eyes everything had changed.
“Okay,” your voice was smaller than before, and he wanted to tear Maeve limb from limb for having broken you down so harshly with just a few words. She smiled cruelly at you as she cut a small line along her forearm and you bowed your head in pain, before falling to your knees – graceful even as pain consumed your entire being. You brought your lips to her wound and drank as she repeated the words that he remembered all too well.
When you rose your lips were sparkling red, and your eyes were glistening with tears still unshed – but you raised your head like a queen and Maeve smiled.
“I believe you have already met Fenrys, he will be training you as the training you have received is not proficient, I’ll have all your belongings brought to a room here.” Maeve waved her hand to some guards, but you stopped her.
“I only need Amaris brought here; the rest can burn.” You muttered.
“And for your new wardrobe?” She asked and you smiled looking down, wiping your mouth slowly.
“Make it red.” You finally met Fenrys eyes, and he stepped forward, desperate to drag you far, far away.
“Shall I escort her to her new room?” he asked Maeve and she flitted her eyes to him, then to the hand he had pressed to your back.
“Yes and then afterword’s come find me,” she smiled cruelly at him, and he felt you stiffen under his hand, but he just nodded and began to lead you out of the room.
He led you through the corridors and up the stairs in silence, angry at you for accepting and at himself for not putting up more of a fight. When he reached the room he presumed would be yours he opened the door for you, following you in as you sat on the bed, your usual lightness replaced by the weight on your shoulders.
He watched you bow your head and came to sit beside you, “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologise; this was my choice.” You said and he reached an arm around your shoulders, but you quickly shrugged him off.
“I shouldn’t, we shouldn’t, if you and the queen are…” you trailed off and Fenrys bowed his head in shame.
“It’s not like that, she, she makes me,” he muttered, and you inhaled sharply, turning to him with those watery eyes.
“I had no idea, I’m sorry,” you whispered, instantly looping your arms around him neck and holding him tight. “She’s a monster.”
Fenrys huffed a laugh, pulling away, “You’re telling me.”
He reached a hand for your face slowly, wiping under your eyes where a tear had escaped, “how did she change your mind?” he asked, dark eyes searching your face for clues as your bottom lip quivered in pain.
“She showed me home,” was all you said, and his shoulders dropped. He would leave it for now, you were young and clearly not ready to speak – and now, they had all the time in the world to speak.
“Sleep tight, training starts at seven tomorrow,” he stood and kissed your head lightly and you nodded, words getting caught in your throat. He left quietly, walking away as quickly as he could to avoid hearing the soft sobs that erupted as soon as he closed the door.
--
You could barely contain your tears until you got to your room, repeating rule thirteen over and over in your head, crying in public is only appropriate at funerals and weddings. But as soon as Fenrys left your room you sobbed into your hands, wailing, and crying like a child throwing a tantrum as you let out the emotions, the screams that have been locked inside of you for so long.
You had done everything for Dorian, changed every part of yourself and become the perfect princess, girlfriend, fiancé – and he, mere weeks after you had to run, was already moving onto a new girl.
As hard as you tried you couldn’t get rid of the image of him and the blonde girl out of your head. How he kissed her softly, his hand on her lower back where it always used to rest on yours. The smile when he pulled away, the way he laughed with her, the way Chaol smiled at his brother when he was happy. You had been forgotten, replaced, almost instantly, the warmth you used to feel when you thought of home, of your princes’ arms replaced by a tight chest and a cold feeling encompassing your heart.
“I’m sorry Albert,” you whispered into the air as you stood looking out on your balcony, gripping tightly to the rail as you feared your legs would give out, “She already took it.”
You were interrupted by a quiet knock on your door, wiping your eyes as you opened it – taking Amaris from the tall guards’ hands as a flurry of women pushed in, filling your drawers with clothes and cosmetics, candles and hair pins, books and plants, a million supplies for Amaris and then some. You smiled politely at them as they left without saying a word, in and out extremely quickly as you stared at a knot in the floor.
Another knock sounded soon after and you turned your head to see one of the Cadre staring in with piercing green eyes. You motioned for him to come in and stood, tilting your head up to meet his gaze as he took in your messy, tear-stained expression.
“You’re the first female member of the Cadre, ever.” He stated and you blinked slowly.
“Lucky me,” your tone was sarcastic, voice rough from the crying but the man smiled.
“I’m Rowan, it’s good to meet you.” He reached out a hand and you met it, allowing him to kiss the back gently.
“(Y/n)” you returned, with a slight curtsey.
“I look forward to fighting with you (y/n),” he stated, releasing your hand and turning to leave, stopping right before he reached the door, “Oh, and don’t lose that dagger, you’ll find a shocking number of men dislike powerful women.”
“First I’m hearing of this,” you deadpanned, and he chuckled.
“Goodluck kid.”
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castthy-nightedcolour · 3 years ago
Text
One- Shot: A Different Side (written as part of my series ‘don’t worry about a thing’ on AO3, link can be found at the bottom of the post as it won’t let me embed it)
Fandom: Good Omens
Characters: GN Reader, Crowley, a very annoying mouse
Warnings and Tags: snakes, animal death/ harm, swearing, uh oh we have a pest control problem, snake crowley, comfort , are they aren’t they
Summary: mouse traps, a skip full of rubbish and a broken down bus. not exactly your dream day, but your favourite demonic entity has a trick up his sleeve and behind his glasses to help you.
Word Count: 2778
Link to original: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31055930/chapters/81050182
If there was one word to describe your mood, that word would be vile. Tiny little irritants throughout the day had built to a simmering anger:
-Firstly, your bus into town had broken down about ten minutes away from your stop, meaning that you were forced to trek your way to the shops.
-Secondly, your trip to said shops wasn’t for any kind of retail therapy, but was instead to buy mouse traps. Your usually serene flat had been taken over by a little grey rodent who despite any humane efforts, was refusing to leave. You weren’t usually one for violence towards any living thing, but the little shit was out staying its welcome and had most recently been seen taking a bite out of a loaf of bread.
-When you did eventually get into town, it seemed to be the day for the world’s slowest walkers to take to the streets. Everyone was moving at about two steps per minute and you, being naturally speedy, were constantly waiting for gaps on the pavement to overtake. When you did manage to do this, there would be a whole new couple walking side by side, plodding along at a snail’s pace. You weren’t getting anywhere quick.
All in all, not your finest hour. This all came to a head on Oxford Street, or as you liked to call it, hell.
Your brain felt as though it were made of jelly, your temperature was rising, and someone stopped right in the middle of the street to check their phone. Slamming right into the back of them, you immediately let out something resembling a howl before running to your side off down Old Cavendish Street, somewhere slightly quieter. You leaned against the nearest wall, hot anger bubbling within you for what at the time, seemed like a life or death scenario of you getting out of town with the mousetraps, but in retrospect was just the culmination of various shitty things.
The last thing which you wanted to hear was any sign that you were being perceived, but a teenage boy riding past you on a bike shouting an obnoxious ‘WAHEYYYY’ at you was enough to tip you over the edge. You bashed your head back on the wall, feeling acid tears of anger falling, pedalled down your face by your short temper. Then, another shout came towards you from across the street.
‘Y/N? Is that you?’
You were ready to push yourself off the wall to lunge at this person until your brain caught up with recognition. Tilting your head forwards, your suspicions were confirmed when you saw floppy, ginger hair bouncing over the street atop a leather-clad frame. The sunglasses perched on his nose brought you a feeling somewhere between relief and fear.
You and Crowley had a relationship which can only be described as ‘are they? Aren’t they?’
You sure as hell couldn’t tell if he had any romantic feelings for you, and he gave off vibes so mixed that they were jumbled by this point. People always commented on the electricity between the two of you whenever you were together, but you tried not to get your hopes up and usually just put this down to his magnetising nature.
He’d told you about himself, and you thought that he must have trusted you somewhat to be able to disclose that he was a demon to you.
Then again, maybe he was just overly confident.
In the state you were currently in, you couldn’t decide whether to run into his arms to scream, or run as quickly away from him as was physically possible.
Your body chose neither and just stood there, open mouthed and gawking as the tears continued to fall with no effort from your eyelids. Crowley examined you, peering over the top of his sunglasses to try and decipher the scene before him.
‘Don’t tell me someone’s upset you, because I will find them for you, Y/N’ he started, rearing himself up as he spoke. You jumped in.
‘No, no. Not upset. I swear. Just… pissed off. Massively, massively pissed off. Short fuse today, y’see.’
‘Oh. Well, I know all about that. I’m quick to anger at any given moment but then again, ‘s in my nature. What exactly are you doing down here?’
You looked to your side at the gigantic skip full of building waste, then down to your feet where someone’s puke sat. You looked back up to the demon.
‘It was a quick escape, one that was made before I slapped someone in the face.’
Crowley looked slightly taken aback, not expecting any expression of violence from you considering your usually placid nature.
‘Ooookay. Well, I won’t ask for details but, here.’ He leaned over slightly and brushed away some of the tears which were still running down your face. You could swear that you both stopped breathing for a moment as he touched you but then again, you weren’t in a fit state for rational thinking.
‘Thank you,’ you breathed out. ‘I’m all good, I promise. Just need to breathe.’ You gave a reassuring smile to the demon and noticed him looking down to your hand, holding a flimsy plastic bag containing the mouse traps.
‘What you got there? Looks interesting.’ He said, tilting his head to try and get a closer look. You brought the bag up to your chest.
‘Oh, mouse traps. There’s a little shit thinking that he owns my flat who’s probably currently in my bread bin. Thought I’d stop the problem while I could, considering there’s that saying about seeing mice. Y’know, for every mouse you see, there’s always another one somewhere. Can’t wait to clean that up!’ Your words had somewhat of a bite, being spat like venom.
‘Woah. You really are pissed, aren’t you?’ Crowley responded, half smirking. For some reason, this set you off again.
‘Yes. Yes, actually I am. Because y’know what? This day has been fucking horrific! I genuinely don’t think that I’ve had two consecutive minutes of peace since the second I woke up. I can’t relax because of the mouse, then there was the bus, and the walking, and the pain in my feet, and the twat who decided to check his phone in the middle of Oxford Street. Sorry, who the hell does that? I just feel like I’ve been left out of any plans that the universe had to let people go about their day without a care in the world. So yes, I’m fuming.’ You gave a huff before realising that you were now crying again. Crowley stood slightly dumbstruck, shifting his weight between his feet. You glanced off to the side, watching the shoppers propel themselves down Oxford Street.
The demon then spoke, his voice low and sincere.
‘Can I give you a lift?’
After what felt like a windswept journey in the Bentley, Crowley screeched to a halt outside your flat. Jolting forwards slightly, the plastic bag containing the mouse traps crinkled between your legs.
You’d calmed down quite significantly, but now felt a combination of complete embarrassment that you’d had such an outburst in front of the being that you completely adored, and absolute excitement that he’d even offered you a lift. This wasn’t helped when you heard him say,
‘Let me walk you upstairs. Check that you’re okay.’
You felt fizzy, and as the two of you trudged up to your flat, you felt as though you could lift off any second. As you unlocked your front door, Crowley leaned on the doorframe, peering in to the hallway as you threw your bag on the floor. You suddenly regretted this as when the bag hit the floor, there was a scuttle from under your bedroom door, and the little mouse took one giant sprint off towards the kitchen. You screamed in shock as the little bastard took itself away, and Crowley grabbed onto your arm. This made you jump for a second time.
‘Woah woah there, calm down. It’s just a little mouse, we’ll sort this,’ Crowley sweetly spoke, lulling your heart back to a slightly normal rate. You looked down to his arm resting on yours and couldn’t help but smile slightly.
Crowley had a look on his face which would have read from ten miles away as one with a scheme brewing.
‘Look Y/N, I’m going to do something here which I don’t do very often, and all I’m asking is that you don’t freak out,’ the demon announced.
You couldn’t help but make a sarcastic joke.
‘What’s that then, the housework?’ Smirking, you looked up at Crowley who glared at you through his sunglasses.
‘Fine, you don’t need my help!’ He huffed, obviously taking the piss but you couldn’t help but tease him back into good spirits.
‘No no, sorry Crowley. What have you got for me?’
‘Snake.’
You stood there for a second, trying to make any sense of what he just said and burning up slightly as you wondered if this was perhaps his way of flirting.
‘A… a snake? You have a snake?’
‘Yes. Well, no. Well… yes. Look it’s complicated, can I just show you?’
Uh oh. Maybe this was him flirting.
You thought for a second before hearing an almighty crash from the kitchen, and from down the hallway you saw an entire loaf of bread fall to the ground, followed by a small army of mice. Again, you let out a scream as Crowley slammed the door shut behind the both of you.
‘How fucking many are there now?!’ You exclaimed, turning to face Crowley who was now quickly shifting between his feet. He suddenly grabbed your shoulders.
‘Look Y/N, tell me quick, do you have a phobia?’
‘Of mice? I think that’s pretty evident Crow-‘
‘No, of snakes. Are you scared of snakes?’
‘What is it with you and these snakes?’ You laughed. The demon then stood dead still and stared right at you.
‘Stay still. Don’t freak out please. I promise this will help.’
Before you knew it, Crowley’s hands had disappeared off your shoulders and he seemed to disappear entirely from before you. Confused, you looked down at the floor.
What you saw took your breath away for what felt like forever.
Rows and rows of black scales suddenly lined your hallway, flowing from side to side as the form made its way towards the kitchen. This didn’t take long, considering the snake’s body seemed to run on forever, there must have been at least 10 metres of the creature occupying your apartment.
You’d never really considered Crowley’s powers before. While you were aware that he was a demon, this thought didn’t control your every interaction with him. He was just Crowley- your friend Crowley- your possibly more than a friend Crowley- your Crowley. Shapeshifting had never been part of the picture.
But it was so, so beautiful.
Moving.
And snakes were never your favourite but this was just something else.
Squeals of mouse terror came from the kitchen as a massive shadow rose up throughout the whole apartment. Crowley was sitting up on his body, his head pointed towards any mouse that he could detect and a razor sharp stare in his luminescent eyes.
Your favourite part of this whole scenario was laying on the floor in front of you- Crowley’s sunglasses, sans Crowley for the first time ever. You smiled as you bent down to pick them up, your feet planted to the spot due to the inherently overwhelming nature of what was happening. You ran your fingers over the frames feeling the heat that was stored in them.
There was something so human about the lingering warmth to the metal, but that thing that made it so distinctively Crowley was the fact that the heat never seemed to fade.
The floor seemed to move as the scales once again shifted, with Crowley turning round to come back towards you. Cold fear seized your entire body, despite the oddly comforting and protective energy of this gigantic creature. His yellow eyes were right in front of your face before you’d even managed to properly react to him moving towards you.
You blinked and the Crowley that you knew and … ahem… was standing in front you, a live mouse swinging from his hand by the tail.
‘Consider those rodents dispatched.’
The mouse in his hand was thrashing wildly from side to side and while you hated the little shits, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for it. You went to protest but no words came out of your mouth.
You’d just witnessed something- something that couldn’t exactly be described as a miracle but to you- maybe?
Crowley noticed the panic in your eyes directed towards the mouse and realised what he needed to do. The mouse disappeared in another of your blinks.
There were so many pressing questions on your mind, but you only managed to actually articulate one of them.
‘Please tell me you didn’t eat those mice, Crowley?’ Your tone was somewhere between intrigue and massive concern.
The demon scoffed, ‘I prefer oysters normally, Y/N. No, I didn’t eat them. I can assure you though, they won’t be back any time soon.’
Palpable silence hung between the two of you. You naturally seemed to hold out Crowley’s sunglasses to him, staring directly into the eyes which served as a reminder of his other form as you did so.
Crowley went to slowly take the glasses off you, but in a snap decision, you snatched them back. Crowley wasn’t exactly thrilled by this.
‘Hey, don’t play games with those. They’re my-‘
He didn’t stand a chance of finishing his sentence before you jumped in, with your subconscious mind taking a grasp on your mouth. Maybe this was a trick of Crowley’s, but at least some of it came from your heart.
‘Do it again. Turn back.’
The two of you stared at each other as a smirk took over the demon’s face.
‘Really? It seemed to terrify you, dearest.’
The cockiness in his voice only persuaded you to carry on pushing.
‘Not at all! No no, it was just... well it was a shock at first. Obviously. Like who the hell else can do that? But no, not terror. It’s intrigue. I swear.’
You made sure to assert yourself in your voice as your brain convinced you that you would never rest again unless Crowley turned back into a snake. It was almost like the sheer shock had morphed into utter obsession in a matter of seconds.
And maybe you just adored every part of Crowley and him being vulnerable in showing a new side to you? Well...
Again, you blinked and he was gone for a moment, before the black reptile rose up to meet your gaze. He hadn’t continued to question you.
The presence was unexplainable, physically so big in the space but even just the idea of him just seemed to fill up every corner of the place. Moving the sunglasses into your right hand, you tentatively raised up your left.
‘Can... may I? Can I touch?’ You softly asked, mimicking a petting action in the air. Somehow, Crowley let you know that it was okay, pulling your hand towards him with some kind of magnetising energy.
Your fingers lightly brushed the scales on his head and you took a breath so deep you almost triggered hiccups. The texture was confusing, it almost seemed like it was shifting forms by the second- smooth then rough, hard then feather soft, but still always cool as marble. You fully rested your hand down as you glanced along the entire body, once again filling up the entire hallway.
‘Crowley, this is beautiful. I mean that.’ You whispered, transfixed on what you were seeing.
Then, the unimaginable happened. Your hand which had ended up resting on the snake’s head suddenly felt warm.
Was... was he blushing? You decided to test the water slightly more.
‘I didn’t even imagine that anything could be so magnificent but, well. Here you are. So gorgeous.’
Sure enough, another flush felt through your hand.
‘Crowley, are you blushing?’ You giggled. The heat on his face then took another rise, this time enough to hurt you slightly. You drew your hand away instinctually, but with a smile still on your face.
This was now a day worth noting. The day that started with a mouse in a bread bin and some unfortunately placed anger, and ended as the day that you made a snake blush.
And of course, he made you blush too.
A new side of Crowley. One that you couldn’t help but adore.
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lunnybunny12 · 4 years ago
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Young Snape x Ravenclaw reader
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All characters are in their 5th year at Hogwarts. Reader is a ravenclaw (A/N I am a Ravenclaw so...YES!)
"Y/N!" Lily said shaling you violently. "Y/N wake up!"
With a groan, you opened your eyes to see the redhead hovering over you with a mischievous smile on her face. "Come on, were going to Hogsmeade today."
"Who let you past the Ravenclaw knocker, Evans?" you giggled, rubbing the sleep out of your eye and yawning. The Ravenclaw house was infamously known for letting Ravenclaws and ONLEY Ravenclaws into the common room and since Lily was a Gryffindor, she definitely didn't get in on her own.
She faked shock as she dramatically placed her hand on her chest, with a gasp.
"(Y/N), I'm shocked that you assumed I had help."
You looked at her with tired eyes, you knew her too well.
"It was Xenophilius Lovegood"
"Now that makes sense" you replied to her in a groggy tone. Standing up from your bed, you grabbed whatever clothes you wanted to wear that day. "But I can't go, you know my "guardians" didn't sign the slip."
Lily's smile grew even wider as she handed you a piece of paper. You took a glance at the paper and quickly put two and two together.
"Oh my god, you didn't" you said snatching the sheet out of her fingers and opened it.
"No, I didn't. Sirius did."
On a once blank line at the bottom of the permission slip was now filled in with your guardians signature.
"H-how did?.."
"Don't ask me how but... he did. Now hurry and get dressed the boys will be halfway through breakfast buy now"
Time skip (your in your regular clothes and just entered the great hall)
The smell of toast and pumpkin juice hit the pair of you right in the face. It was breakfast time and buy the looks of it most people were still asleep, leaving all of the good stuff for the taking.
As you and Lily walked to the 4 marauders, you felt a pair of familiar eyes watching you. When you saw it was Severus Snape you smiled and gavehim a small wave in wich he shyly gave you one back.
Even as children, you and Lily had always been together. You found out you were witches together and you met Severus together. And despite his home life he was the kindest person you had ever met. When you found out you were going to the same magical school as him you were over the moon and so was he. When you actualy got to Hogwarts the 3 of you became as thick as theaves but when you met the marauders he slowly became distant with you ... it broke your heart.
"Ah here are the lovely ladies now," James said with a gleeful smile.
"What took you so long?" Sirius said, standing from his seat to allow room for Lily and you.
Lily gave them an apologetic smile and sat nest to James who took the opportunity to wrap his arm around her.
"Sirius, I owe you a favour" you said showing him the permission slip with a smile.
He gave you a cheeky smile and said with outstretched arms " How about a hug and we call it even?"
"Sounds like a deal,"you smiled as he pulled you into a hug. It lasted for about a minute until you felt eyes on you again. When you pulled away, you saw that Sirius was looking behind you with a smug grin on his lips. You followed his gaze to see Snape with a broken look in his eyes.
With a hint of anger on your face, you turned back to the curly-haired wizard. " You know, Sirius. Being an arrogant git doesn't suit you one bit" you hissed, tapped Lily on the shoulder, told her you'd see her in Hogsmeade and made your way out of the hall.
After giving your slip to Mcgonagall, you began your walk to Hogsmeade before everyone else. You knew the way since you had been before. The walk was quiet and it was a welcomed breath of fresh air. It was pleasantly quiet and calming, the sun was shining and the wind was whistling through the trees.  
Halfway through your walk you heard some movement behind you, you turned around you saw the familiar black-haired boy you had known for years. He looked somewhat shocked to see you and you too were surprised at first. He never seemed like the type of person to go to Hogsmead, but it was good to see him out of the castle.
"Oh hello Severus, I thought I was here by myself."
His shock was slowly disappearing and he took a few steps to walk around you. "I apologise...ill... get out of your way"
"What? no."  You questioned, taking a few steps to stand beside him.
"Join me. Other than Lily you're the only person I can stand talking to."
When you said this he looked at you in a way you had never seen before. Admittedly, you understood his reaction to some extent. someone you hadn't spoken to in ages suddenly asks you to join them on a walk? very strange.
"I mean if you want to join me.. Id understand if you don't."
"N-no id like that" he quickly interjected. "I would like that."
The two of you started walking, side by side and for the first time in ages you talked. And it felt like nothing had changed between you.
"So... how has school been treating you?"
"Its been the same as every other year, I'm afraid. Very... unfulfilling. What about you?"
You sighed and fiddled with your shirt. "It's been stressful, to say the least, Severus. I'm majorly failing potions and my... friends are jerks."
"But you're friends with Lily and shes good at potions, why don't you ask her to help?"
"Are you kidding me? She's too busy hanging out with James." you chuffed. "And besides I've already asked her."
Another look crossed his face. This time you could practically see the cogs turning in his head before he spoke up again.
"Well... I can tutor you... if you wish."
Of all of the things you expected him to say you never expected that. He wanted to help you?  "Really Severus? Id hate to impose."
"I wouldn't have offered if you were imposing."
A small smile crept onto your face. "Thank you Severus, but are you sure you want to be stuck with me for an hour?"
He gave an amused chuff and answered " I'm sure I will survive."
"Alright well I'm free all day on Sundays so.... does 1 pm work for you?"
"It does indeed, in the library and bring a notebook"
Before you could answer your name rang through the air. It was Lily, James, Peter, Sirius and Remus making their way down the hill.
Almost eminently you saw Severus demeanour change. He became fidgety and his head slowly curled itself to look at the mud path below his feet.
"Listen, Severus, I um... I have to walk with them now so I'll see you tomorrow yea?" you said nudging him and trying yo look him in the eye. when his gaze met yours you offered the tallboy a smile.
"Yes. tomorrow" he said before quickly scampering off down the road.
The group eventually caught up with you and Sirius threw his arm around your shoulders. " Hey, what you talking to Snivellus Snape for?"
Your eyebrows knotted in confusion as you pushed his arm off of you and looked at him. "What did you just say?" You genuinely didn't hear what he said but given his response, it clearly wasn't something good.
The smile on his face then morphed onto fear at the realisation of what he has just said. His eyes scanned his friends faces and they were just as scared for him.
"Severus, Severus Snape. that's what I said" he chuckled. The rest of your friends chuckled with him. You weren't convinced that's what he said but you went along with it since you were in an awkward situation.
"RIGHT LADS, WHO WANTS SOME BUTTERBEER!" shouted Remus pointing his wand towards the Hogsmead.
Everyone cheered and continued walking down the dirt path while you lagged behind, pulling Lily to walk with you.
Time skip to a few months later
As agreed, you and Severus would meet up in the library every Sunday for tutoring and during that time you learnt so much. Not just about potions but about Severus too. This clearly was something he enjoyed doing and he was eager to do.  You also learnt a lot about yourself during this time.
Turns out you had quite a knack for potions when you had the right teacher and your grades slowly got better too.
Unfortunately that wasn't the only thing you learnt during this time. You found out that Sirius had a crush on you. He of course had yet to tell you this news himself. Peter let it slip in one of your charms class and you were shocked.
Then, on top of that, unbeknownst to you, Lily had told the boys what you were doing on Sunday afternoons and Sirius was pissed, to say the least.
This particular Sunday, Severus had asked you to meet him next to the tree across the Black Lake.  He heard it was going to be nice out and since it was just going to be a reading session you thought why not.
On your journey there, you heard yelling and cheering near your destination. As you got closer you began to recognise some voices and when you heard Severus yelling you sprinted towards the tree.
When you exited the shrubbery you saw Sirius and the boys laughing at something above them. It was Severus. Sirius had cast a spell that pulled Severus feet first into the air. Hanging him upside-down.
You felt your blood boil in your veins. You didn't know this was going on or for how long but it stopped right then and there. Within seconds you grabbed your wand and shouted at the top of your lungs "EXPELLIARMUS!".
The amount of fear that glazed everyone's eyes in that seconds, was nothing more than horrifying. None of them expected you to be there (over an hour early) and they definitely didn't expect you to have this much anger pumping through you as you did in that moment.
The spell practically forced Siriuses wand out of his hand making Severus slowly land on the ground.  
You walked right up to Sirius, who was quivering in his boots, and pointed your wand right at his face.
" YOU! You slimy, egotistical, peace of shit!"
"N-Now (Y/N)" He stuttered, holding his hands up in surrender.
"SHUT UP! now you will answer my questions with 100% honesty or I will destroy that pretty face of yours. Understand?"
He nodded his head vigorously.
You didn't need to worry about the others shooting you with their wands because they were just as scared as their precious "Pad Foot".
"Why are you doing this Sirius and for how long?" you seethed.
" B-because I'm in love with you..." He said looking at you with hopeful eyes " and so is Severus. I did it because I was Jesus."
You pushed your wand under his chin " I know the first bit but how long, Pad Foot?"
He went silent and lowered his gaze. "Since our first year"
You sighed and looked at the rest of the group. Your anger was slowly going away.
" You knew about this?" You asked. However, when you didn't get a response your anger quickly returned.
"DID YOU KNOW!"
Simultaneously they all nodded their heads. Your friends.. they were your friends and they purposefully hurt someone so that you would go out with one of them. It made you sick!
You raised your wand and pointed at all of them.
" Don't ever talk to me again or else the next time I see your names on the murders map will be in the dark forest. 6 FEET UNDER THE WHOMPING WILLOW! UNDERSTAND?" you yelled, tears at the corner of your eyes.
Sirius was upset, he took a few steps closer to you. " (Y/N), please"
"WHAT did I just... say?"
As he took another step towards you, you shot a bolt of electricity at his feet. "get out of my sight, all of you."
Within seconds they ran away with their tails between their legs.
Throughout this exchange, Severus was stood right next to the tree. He heard every word that left your lips and felt the emotion on every letter but at the same time, he felt fear. He felt the fear that was radiating off of the murders and he felt a fear he thought he would have gotten used to buy now. The fear of being rejected by the one person he loved more than anyone else. After Sirius had exposed his feelings to you.. that fear almost consumed him. When he saw you fall to your knees and drop your wand on the grass, However, he put the fear aside and went to comfort you.
Your face was already stained with tears. The pain you felt was excruciating and your hands were shaking from the amount of adrenalin. But... despite all of that when you saw Severus face come into view you smiled at him.
" You" you said breathlessly in a calm voice.
He knelt down to your level, with a clenched jaw, worry written all over his face.
With the smile still on your face you looked at him and said "You, Severus Snape are lucky that I love you too"
 Please feel free to drop your ideas in the comments or private messing me. Love ya!!
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limenysnocket · 4 years ago
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The Plan
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Summary: It's your birthday (hooray!) and you still have to work (not so hooray). Nevertheless, you can still count on your friends to cheer you up, but not as much as your loveable boyfriend who insists you spend your birthday with him and a romantic dinner, rather than at a party your friends set up.
Warnings: Swearing, drinking, Taika (yes, he gets his own warning), some content may be explicit-ish.
Request: @whatwememeintheshadows
A/N: So people are actually planning their fics nowadays???? Did I not get the memo or something??? These come straight from my head????
THIS IS SO LATE I'M SORRY. Happy (very) belated birthday.
Tags: @honorarytenenbaum @olyvoyl
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Okay, so maybe work was less of a bitch today, you had to admit. People were nicer to you today, you got an extra thirty minutes added on to your lunch break just because, and, of course, you got a couple of dirty birthday cards and some cash, but that really shouldn’t matter, should it? What did matter, is that you would get to have some you-time, all by yourself, with your vibrator, a couple of movies, and some nice, low calorie ice cream (that tasted like total shit). At least... That’s what you thought would happen.
“You should totally come party with us! I’ve got the booze, Jess has the men, and we’ll make a whole night out of it! Alcohol, strippers, and dancing! How does that sound?” your friend, Enid, reiterated everything for you at least one thousand times today.
“If I wanted a stripper, I’d ask Taika to dye his hair, shave himself everywhere, and oil up a little. That’s the only sight I’d be happy to see, thank you,” you huff and smile. You appreciate the effort to get you out and about, possibly be a little frisky, but your heart just wasn’t in it, and that was much to Taika’s luck.
“Oh, come on. Taika can’t have that much of a grip on you! He has a lot of ‘female friends’, so what’s wrong with you having some ‘male friends’ hm?” Jess cooed to you, but you immediately whirled around, insulted that she would even suggest that you would do such a thing. And you were sure Taika had female friends, yes, but they were just friends. Nothing else. Although, his flirtatious behavior scared you sometimes, at parties. Some of the women would just swarm him, and you feared any one of them would catch his fancy more than you did.
“No. I don’t want strippers at whatever the hell you’re planning,” you stated again, firmly this time. Your two friends whined again, Jess lowering her head in defeat.
“Fine, but can we still bring booze? Invite a few more friends to party?” Enid asked, setting a hand on your shoulder and pleading to you with large eyes.
You chew at your cheek and think for quite some time. Your friends want to throw you a genuine party, and God knows how long it’s been since you’ve hung around a group of unfamiliar faces, especially since you started to date a Hollywood writer. Maybe it was just what you needed. Taika was supposed to be busy for the night, anyway.
You succumbed to the pressure, and nodded. “Okay,” you agreed. “But if we get any noise complaints, your talking to the cops for me.”
“Hell yeah! You’re not going to regret this! Just you wait! Go home and clean your place up a little. I’ll be by in an hour or two to get things set up!” Enid clapped her hands together in mischief, and Jess suddenly looked more spry. You gave her a warning glance, and she only grinned back, before skipping away, chatting gayly with Enid at her side.
You can’t believe the shit you just got yourself into, and you still wouldn’t believe it, the moment Enid and Jess arrived with their arms full of cheap liquor, streamers, finger foods, and a bunch of colorful-looking lights that look like they just came from a Wal-Mart Christmas sale. As soon as you gave them the go-ahead, they started tearing shit open. Between setting up, your phone started to ping over and over again, as well as your friends’ phones. Apparently, just a few hours was enough time to notify everyone in LA about a party, who it was for, and where it was going to be at. 
You just sat back and sipped on frozen margaritas (meant for the party, but it's your party so you didn't give two shits), until the party started and there was a heavy flow of people rushing into your home. Invited or uninvited.
When things started getting wild, that's when a pact was made. Enid and Jess would be cleaning up your house after this was over. You were already stepping over beer cans as it was.
You can't even say you were having fun there. You barely knew anyone. Most of the people there were just randoms looking for a good time, and unfortunately you saw some of them getting that good time in a dark corner. You made an excuse to run upstairs and lock all the doors of the bedrooms before anyone could think about getting there. That's what you thought, at least.
The party was getting to be too much, too quickly. In haste, you locked yourself into your bedroom, and took a step back. You could still hear the muffled voices and loud, posh laughter on the other side of the door. Those girls would pay. You rush over to your window, overlooking your backyard and see people divebombing into your pool, creating waves and getting people outside of the pool wet. People were leaving their trash everywhere, and many red, plastic cups floated in the (for now) clear waters. You didn't know how much more you could take. Maybe parties weren't your thing after all. Especially with strangers.
You sit back on your bed and you don't even bother looking out the window anymore. It was best to stay inside your room, if you didn't want to be molested or assaulted by some dumbass who thinks it's okay to anonymously grope women in crowded areas. Your face buries in your hands, griping to yourself how this would be over in a few hours. Right?
There's a subtle knock on your door, and you jump. It's in the regular, stiff-three order, so you are very hesitant about going and getting it. Then, there comes the "shave and a haircut" tune. Not a very good one, and kind of slurred, guessing by the way there was a loud thud at the very end, the person knocking was shoved against the door. Damn you and your pity.
You're quick to move, despite the strong feeling telling you not to. You just knew some poor soul was being smooshed out there. Fuck, you were nervous. This was screaming bad idea, but you were going to pull through anyway. The plan in your head seemed childish, but it should work fine if the person was desperate enough to get in. One quick swipe of the door, and you're golden! Surely...
You flick the doorknob lock and gulp, keeping a tight grip. On the count of three-- and after having to restart because another desperate knock jumbled up your thoughts-- you sent the door flying open. Sure enough, a heavy body came tumbling in with it, tripped, tried to balance, then ended up crash-landing cartoonishly into your bed, bonking their head a tad on the wooden post at the end of the frame. You hissed a little bit, then closed the door again. You rushed to their aid as the person looked up.
"I thought you liked private parties more than this," a soft, kiwi accent cooed at you, obviously through unbridled pain. This bewildered you even more.
Taika was sitting on the floor, legs extended out in front of him, making him look like a giant from your angle, and he was dressed in a blue tux, black dress shirt, and polished black shoes. Well, they seemed a little scuffed now.
"Shit, Taika-- what the fuck are you doing here?" you drop to your knees and cradle his aching head. He winced at the touch, but was too happy to see you again to deny it.
"Well, I came to take you out on a surprise birthday dinner. Maybe pick up a bottle of wine and go dancing with my favorite person, you, under moonbeams and twighlight," his head bobbled from side to side, which didn't help his animated character, "but it seems to me you have company... and a lot of it."
You sigh and brush an unkempt curl back into place while he cheekily grins at you. "This wasn't my idea," you murmur. "Friends set this up. They'll also be the ones to take it down. I didn't really want to spend my birthday with anyone this year. Makes me feel old."
"Well, you seriously should have known someone was about to stop you from taking another bite of that shitty ice cream in your freezer. They dished it out in shot glasses down there. Even a sober chick couldn't handle the taste," Taika snorted playfully and you rolled your eyes. He seemed to be taking this situation surprisingly well. It was weird. "But it was much to my misfortune that your 'friends' got to you before I could. Maybe I should have settled on a birthday lunch, but that didn't sound too appealing to me."
"Would have been much better than the chicken salad and dry-ass piece of cake I had for lunch today," you fired back. He sighed again and stood up with a groan. You followed with him.
"What now?" he mumbled, stroking the stache on his upper lip, then letting the tips of his fingers wander down to his smooth, freshly shaved cheeks.
"Well, we're both stuck here, so I suppose we settle in for the night and wait it out." You plop yourself down on your bed again and just stare up at him. He doesn't move, however. His eyes were focused on the window, more specifically the lock on it, and he was nibbling at his bottom lip. He was thinking. Some people might call it strange to watch him think sometimes. He really was like a cartoon. With one tap of his foot, he spun around on his heel and faced you.
"New plan," he clapped his hands together. "Get dressed."
You were confused for the next fifteen minutes or so. He helped you pick out a deep blue dress that would somewhat match his and black heels. He was escorting you all over the room with his hand on your lower back. He even tried to do your makeup for you, but he was so inexperienced, you had to take over. The last time he had to do someone's makeup was on the set of the original, five-minute What We Do in the Shadows film.
While you finished your makeup, he was practically smooching your window. He was staring at it like a dog asking to go outside. It made you a bit nervous, seeing the cogwheels turn in his head. He took your hand and lead you to the window, unlocking it and pushing it up.
"Want to go first?" he said behind a proud smile. When he only received silence and a pure, "what the fuck," stare back to his face, he shrugged, and stepped out the window himself. Luckily, you knew fully well he wasn't about to fall flat on his face and die on the pavement below. You had a screened back porch, with a roof over it's head as well, since the seasons tend to get very hot and sticky and mosquitoes just love to lay visits. He stepped onto the roof, trying not to bring too much attention to himself. Once he had bounced down, he brushed himself off, then looked up at you, expectantly.
"Come on, then! Don't have all night!" he hollered and waved to you. "Need me to catch you?"
You gulped, not bothering to answer him. You gently scooted your lower half out the window and taking your heels into your hand. You didn't want to break an ankle on the landing. "Lord, give me strength," you muttered, squeezed your eyes shut, then took a leap of faith. You tried not to squeal as the rushing air flew by you like sticky wind, but before you knew it, your feet touched slanted ground. You felt like you were about to tumble, but strong hands met your waist and kept you up.
"Beautiful!" Taika beamed and kissed your flushed cheek.
"I hate you sometimes," you slapped his chest and made him laugh. He took your hand and started leading you to the other side of the porch roof, and came to the end, where your driveway supposedly was. Parked dead center was Enid's big, black SUV. Tall enough to just be a little hop away from the roof.
"One more, leap, dear?" Taika was on the move again, but you grabbed his sleeve before he could actually make the jump.
"Taika, no. That's Enid's car. She already spends so much on gas, think of how pissed she'll be if she has to remove dents from her roof!" you explain, nervous from the outcome of this little plan of yours.
"Sweetheart," Taika said airily, turning his full attention to you and taking your hand again. "If she was a good friend, she would have known a massive party like this would have pissed you off. Plus, I don't think just cleaning the house is going to get even with this God awful day. So, why not put a few dusty footprints on her car, hm?" Taika was back to grinning, and before you could say anymore, he had leapt away and landed on top of the car with a large thud. He motioned to you with a swipe of his hand. You were in way too deep with him to give up on him now.
You followed through, heels swinging in one hand, and he caught you again like the perfect, Maori prince charming he was.
Car hop, after car hop, he lead the way and made sure you were okay with every stop, until you reached a small enough car to hop down, scale the lawn and make it to his jeep.
"That was," you said, breathless. You couldn't find the right words, and Taika just chuckled at you.
"Exciting?" he filled in the blank space on his own, cocking an eyebrow.
"Yeah," you laugh, fanning your chest and brushing a single strand of hair back. "That's a good word for it."
"Well, excitement doesn't stop here," he opened your door into the jeep for you, bowing respectfully and playing everything up for you, like you were royalty. "I have everything set up for you to have a great night with yours truly. As long as everything goes according to the plan this time..."
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koutarousangel · 4 years ago
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━ hometown glory.
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prompt : you were incredibly nervous to return home, especially since you knew that he’d returned home too. loosely inspired by this.
genre : angst to fluff
warnings : i mean at this point i can put swearing as a warning every time cause they’re apart of my everyday vocabulary lmao.
music suggestion : hometown glory - adele, happiest year - jaymes young, from the dining table - harry styles.
author’s note : @asdfghjkl7things​​ thank you so much for your support and your request ! i hope you like it !
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you and hajime started dating during your third year in high school.
it was a surprise to practically everyone who knew you two, but the both of you had promised each other that you’d keep it on the down low as you were getting to know each other. mostly bc the two of you had friends that never knew how to shut up.
and what you had between you wasn’t really anyone else’s business.
you’d comforted him when they’d lost to karasuno, telling him that it wasn’t his fault and that he’d done all that he could, and you told him that if he wanted to, he could play volleyball again, or do whatever he wanted.
he’d consoled you when you failed the one exam that you needed to pass to go to the university of your dreams and he encouraged you to take the make-up exam, studying with you and making sure you were more than prepared.
you were each other’s rock and you genuinely thought that you were going to last.
until you got into an argument which turned into a full-blown fight bc the two of you were moving away from each other to study your respective courses.
you were scared of long-distance bc you didn’t want to hold iwa back, iwa tried telling you that you could make it work, but as you insisted, he accused you of never really loving him and that you were just finding a way out.
ouch.
four years later, the both of you were college graduates, and something drew you both back to japan.
walking through your hometown felt strange. it was familiar, heartwarming, but at the same time it felt as if you were a tourist, discovering everything for the first time. it had been a while since you’d walked through the streets of miyagi, having gotten used to the streets of london so much that the peace and quiet was almost far too loud. you’d thought about it, staying in london and finding a job there, settling with a brand new life but part of you missed japan so much, your family, your friends … him.
“you know,” your friend looked at you pointedly as she wiped a vegetable piece away from the corner of her mouth, “he’s back in japan, right?” it was almost as if she was fighting a smirk.
a sigh left your lips as you shook your head a little bit, “i know… he posted something on instagram,” the subtle confession that you still followed him on social media came out as a grumble, because you knew that your friend would make it her priority to never let you live it down. which was why you’d never told her that you’d accidentally liked one of his posts.
her eyes widened to the size of saucers and she practically choked on her drink, batting at your upper arm, “you sly fox you, so you do follow him!” you halted her frantic movements by grabbing her wrist.
“i do, which is also how i know that he has a girlfriend,” it was almost comical, how your friend practically deflated at your comment, scowl growing on her face, “it’s been four years, it was bound to happen.”
still, seeing him with his arm around her shoulders made your heart ache and you had angrily swiped away at the tears that spilled down your cheeks, because it was your fault. keeping him back had never been your intention and that’s what you felt you would have done had you remained in a relationship together. all that distance, the drastic time difference, attending separate colleges full of new experiences. you wanted hajime to have the world.
it was almost as if fate was trying to play some sort of cruel trick on you, because as your mind raced with thoughts of your old high school boyfriend, you felt yourself collide with someone and as soon as you heard your name being uttered by the person in question, you swore your heart wanted to jump out of your chest.
“hajime…” his name tumbled out of your mouth in what practically could be constituted as a breathless gasp, as if seeing his face in person after four years had completely winded you.
the man in question took a slight step back, taking a good look at you, almost making sure that you were really in front of him, and not his imagination toying with him. “small world,” was his only comment as he scratched the back of his head, awkwardness settling between you two as you wrapped your arms around yourself, the chill in the air suddenly very prominent.
“would you like to get some-” “i was going to go get some” the both of you spoke at the same time, nervous words overlapping each other. “coffee…” a smile as your shared thoughts fell together in perfect harmony, as if nothing had changed.
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you had walked to the coffee shop in silence, questions of why you’d agreed to get coffee with your ex racing through your mind but the reason was simple … you didn’t want to walk away from him, not yet at least. sneaking glances at him while he grabbed your coffees made your heart thump faster than it had in a while, reminiscent of the first time you’d went on a date together.
there was a slight fear that it would be far too awkward to handle, but the two of you fell into a comfortable conversation, telling stories of your college days, how you’d gotten so drunk one time that you ended up stealing a plant and taking it back to your dorm, or how he’d once gotten so hungry during a late study session that he and his friends went to a mcdonalds drive through, even though they didn’t have a car.
you laughed until your face hurt, and you hadn’t realised, but the two of you had instinctively gotten closer to each other, and his arm had ended up wrapped around your chair, you leaned over and shoved him whenever he said something to tease you.
it was as if these four years apart never happened.
as your shared laughter died down and you finished off your drink, iwaizumi looked down at his lap and shook his head slightly, chuckling to himself and making you smile softly, “what?” you questioned, poking his shoulder.
“it’s still you, you know?” he looked up at you, eyes locking with yours as he gave a slight shrug of his shoulders, “the person i see by my side at the end of the day.”
his words hit you like a punch to the gut and you almost forgot how to breathe. you cringed, nose burning as tears tickled the corners of your eyes as you pushed your chair back, standing up and grabbing your belongings, holding them close to your chest as you rushed out of the coffee shop.
you could hear him calling for you, but the blood had rushed to your ears and you were trying your hardest to keep from crying, but as soon as you felt his hand around yours, you spun around and shoved at his chest, once, twice, tears dripping freely onto the pavement, cheeks burning red with anger and sadness, heart that was excitedly jumping around, now quietly sitting in the corner, thumping cautiously as you felt him grab at your hands to stop you from hitting him any further.
“you can’t say that shit hajime! you can’t say it, not after four years of nothing … you didn’t try to fight for me, convince me to stick with you through it all, and you have someone else! how sick can you be? saying that shit to me, stringing that girl along …” the anger wasn’t making you think straight, words spilling out of your mouth without you mulling them over first. 
it was iwaizumi’s turn to get angry at your words, “you broke up with me!” he pushed your hands away from his before pointing an accusatory finger at you, “you broke up,” and he turned his finger shakily at himself, “with me.”
your mouth dropped open and you closed it again, gaping at the air like a fish out of water, hoping the words would come to you, “i wanted what’s best for you,” you managed to whisper, “i wanted for you to be happy.”
“and you came to that decision on your own!” his chest was heaving now, bottom lip trembling as he tried to keep his strong facade, but it was crumbling, “how dare you, decide for me what’s best for me?” his words were only making your chest ache because they were true. you were scared that you were not enough for him, that you’d never be enough for him, “you were what’s best for me, i wanted to share everything with you!” but you were wrong. 
he let out a strangled laugh, “and that girl? she knew it too. i tried going on one date with her, and when i tried going home with her, she pushed me away and told me that i was just kidding myself and setting myself up to get hurt, because my heart was with someone else.”
the two of you were practically in hysterics, wild stares at each other, tears staining your cheeks and some threatening to fall on his own. this was how the argument was supposed to go four years ago, not with you doing everything in your power to walk away. you needed to talk it out, communicate with each other; the only reason it had reached this point, as if you were two people in some kind of romantic movie on the sidewalk professing your love for each other, was because all these emotions had accumulated during the past four years.
after he let out a couple of strangled breaths, iwaizumi’s shoulders slumped, and he raked his hand through his hair, shaking his head and going to sit down on the sidewalk, arms on his knees and head bowed forward.
you watched him for a couple of moments, hand pressed over your mouth as you tried not to sob. the man who’d held your heart so firmly in his hands even if you were continents away had never given up on you. suddenly you didn’t feel so pathetic, but the guilt was eating you alive. you’d never meant to hurt him so, you adored him and you really did want the best for him.
swallowing back the remainder of the tears, you looked up at the sky and sniffled softly, before taking a couple of brave steps forward, kneeling down and wrapping your arms around his shoulders, burying your face into his neck, “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry,” you chanted softly, knowing that no matter how many times you said it, silently praying that he’d accept your apology, even though you didn’t really deserve it.
his hand rested gently on your forearm and he kept his head forward, pressing soft kisses to your wrist and the back of your hand. iwa hesitated for a moment, before he rested his hands on your waist, carefully guiding you to his lap and wrapping his arms around you, rocking you back and forth and shushing you quietly as you continued to sob into his chest. the way he said your name was as soft as a butterfly coming to rest on a fingertip, and he gently guided your face up to look at his.
“i forgive you,” he admitted to you, giving you a small smile, “i’m sorry for yelling, i’m sorry for letting you go ... ” his forehead came to rest against yours, and his eyes were closed. you could feel your heart practically soaring, having him so close again, him accepting your apology. 
your hand came to rest on his face, thumb gently drawing back and forth across his cheek, before leaning forward and leaving a tentative kiss on the side of his mouth, watching as his eyes all but shot open, cheeks burning red under the palm of your hand as he looked into your eyes, “i forgive you too hajime.”
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~ three year timeskip. ~
you were anxious. more anxious then you had been ever in your life. 
you’d been with hajime ever since you reconciled now, going through all the motions with settling into your life back in japan, finding a job you both love but still there were struggles. like how hajime worked himself to the bone, hell bent on being the best athletic trainer the national volleyball team had ever seen. you laid blankets on his shoulders when he slept at his desk while he was writing reports or planning injury prevention programs. meanwhile, he carried you to bed whenever you fell asleep on the couch because you couldn’t sleep in an empty bed, or when you were studying for your job and you fell asleep at your own desk.
your relationship was strong, communication prominent during the whole time, because you knew what could happen if it wasn’t there. the two of you never went to bed angry with each other, he always brought home flowers if he fucked up, hiding his face behind the bouquet as he uttered an apology and you always made sure to bring him a cup of tea to bed if you stepped out of line, before cuddling into his side and muttering a small ‘i’m sorry’ into the silence.
vip tickets gave you the perfect view of the volleyball court, adorning the japanese flag on one of your cheeks and a polo shirt that matched hajime’s with ‘iwaizumi’ spread across your shoulders.
it would be your own name anyway, you thought, as you twirled the engagement ring around your finger, grinning brightly before looking up at him and giving him an encouraging wink, mouthing an i love you at him.
you’d returned home twice; to japan the first time, and to iwaizumi hajime’s heart the second time.
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