#that said at the time he also didnt rly drink / party so like. things change as evidenced by yesterday

[mcl38]

okay so I know i didnt hear it from you... BUT WHAT STREAMS DO YOU HAVE REASON TL BELIEVE LANDO WAS HIGH?!?!?!?!?! i am so cursor

i mean aside from a veiled comment from carlos once about lando bringing something redacted to the party which implied it was drugs, theres this one specific stream (the one in which lando is wearing that blue dior hoodie if ur curious) where lando multiple times starts hysterically laughing about things that are Not that funny, mentions to chat that his eyes are red, AND orders one (1) portion of sweet and sour chicken with SEVENTEEN (17) spring rolls (no rice!!) as his takeaway dinner, then eats the entire thing on stream. and the whole time max has the same like just low thrumming annoyance that i get around my stoner friends when they invite me over to hang out but get too high and become incoherent

that being said despite initially becoming pretty much convinced that lando mustve been high on that stream, i calculated it & it wouldve been like 5 days or so away from the first session of his following race weekend? which would make it quite risky considering weed stays in ur system for weeks. i rmbr going on a deep dive abt substance regulations in f1 and coming to the hesitant conclusion that weed rules are slightly more lenient now for athletes in general than they used to back in the early 2000s. that said there is still a (pretty big tbh) possibility lando was not in fact smoking & is just Like That. so like for sure dont take my word as fact - it just like. if u accept it as a headcanon then it retrospectively makes a lot of things abt the woking household make more sense

[zepdeans]

there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3  -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4  -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal 

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((  -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one  -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??  -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!  -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart  -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry  -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even  -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!  -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius  -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

[lavellane]

A-Z HEADCANONS // DUNCAN THEIRIN

i was tagged by @nordxz thanks so much tash !! i'm gonna answer this for duncan, my babey and the next gen son of alistair and ella cousland 😊😚😘

i snappped while answering these and accidentally wrote 6 pages and almost 4k words so uh. loooooong infodump ahead.

Alignment: What would be their D&D alignment? How might it come into play?

duncan very easily falls into the lawful neutral category, like i dont rly need to give his alignment too much thought unlike with some of my other ocs. duncan is.....hmm. hes a very KIND person, generous and selfless, and tries his best to make people happy, but i wouldn’t necessarily say he's good, considering a lot his issues lie with his inability to act, or stand up to others. he’s guilty of very blindly following the law, or other people's ideas of what's right, and he doesn't really feel confident enough to rely on his own conscience for most things. so i'd say while he tries to do the right thing and act within the law, sometimes he goes against his own values out of fear or confusion or, simply out of ignorance, since he was born into a life of privilege and can't always distinguish what's right and what’s believed ykno

Beverage: What do they most like to drink, and why?

duncan shares a weird trait with both his brother and sister where they all just inexplicably ?? don't like alcohol at all. so stuff like wine and liquors is off the table. he absolutely LOVES tea though. u know that one scene in scott pilgrim where the gal is going thru her list of like 72 teas? thats him 100%. it's his lifeblood at this point, he has SO much of it and a perk of being the heir to a monarchy means he's got a lot of foreign merchant acquaintances, so he tends to order in different blends from all over. he's a chronic insomniac, and he uses it as a crutch to get through the days some times. modern!duncan still loves tea but obviously has a stronger love for coffee, since its far more effective!

Co-Habitat: Do they live with anyone? What’s “need to know” before moving in?

duncan currently lives in the residential dorms of the college of enchanters, while he's sort of aimlessly studying a bunch of subjects he's already mostly adept at. firstly, duncan is VERY sick lol, he was conceived while ella and alistair still hadn't found the cure for the joining, and essentially he inherited both of their darkspawn taint so 🙂🙂🙂 thats always a good time. so anyone who lives with him needs to prepare for 1) him being sick obviously,, throwing up, coughing up blood, looking like a corpse virtually 23 hours of the day lol. and obviously the fear that one day he might actually die. but also 2) he suffers from grey warden nightmares for the same reasons, hence the insomnia. he can go a concerning number of days without sleeping and usually only takes strategic cat naps when he needs to, but obviously he has his limits. it's very rare that he goes a full night without waking up in a cold sweat due to nightmares so. we stan one depressed king ! oh he also is Incapable of locking the door to his apartment. he always forgets and hes too tired to care about people stealing his stuff fkdkdjdjd he would probably make more of an effort if he had someone living with him, but old habits die hard so !!!!!!

Decor: What kind of home do they keep? Are there any defining details?

honestly , duncan's house is very devoid of clutter or personal items in general, which is sad. he definitely would have a lot of decor if he could, but since his current housing is only temporary while he's in orlais, he doesn't really want to get... comfortable ykno. other than that, duncan's home is always kept impeccably neat and clean, for two reasons. firstly, growing up in denerim's palace really engrained into his head the importance of keeping up appearances, so its sort of a subconscious ritual of his at this point. but i think more importantly its because of all the nights when he cant sleep, so during the night with nothing to keep him from dwelling on his thoughts or nightmares, he really needs the distraction, and cleaning gives him something to do. duncan really needs to feel like he's doing something, like he's managing, like he's able to achieve something so cleaning is just one little way of taking ownership of his life.

Escape: What do they do to de-stress? How successful is it?

nsfw warning but uhhh..... he has a LOT of sex basically dkdkdksk u wouldn’t know it by looking at him tho ! bc hes very polite and nervous and kinda shy?? but hes also charming and obviously attractive so he doesnt really lack for interested parties. mainly he just sticks to one night stands, with no strings attached, and it helps him take his mind off things when hes exhausted or its late at night and hes afraid to go to sleep. otherwise he also has had some friends with benefits but usually his personal life is too complicated for a serious relationship. aside from that, he also reads a LOT, writes too – when he has the time/energy – and obviously cuddling sessions with his cat, moira dkdkdk

Fluff: What hits their soft spot? Does anything turn them into emotional goo?

so ik above i said that duncan doesnt do serious relationships but thats,, not through any will of his own. he LOVES love and is a complete hopeless romantic , but unfortunately for a number of reasons he's just very unlucky at love ! 😔 so having an emotional, intimate connection with someone that isnt just sex is super healing for him, since he's not used to it at all. being with nadaia is such a positive thing for him, just knowing that his feelings are reciprocated and that he's valued and wanted.

Grudge: How bad does an insult go over? Do they hold a grudge long?

i think it depends on who its directed at !! duncan usually ignores any insults directed at him because he's grown up being so scrutinized by the public and for the most part, fereldens are very weary of him so he hears A LOT. most of criticisms about him he just.. automatically accepts as fact and really buys into them, bc he has such low self esteem. but as for other people, and ESPECIALLY loved ones thats a very different story!! he's not exactly the type to start throwing punches if anyone says a bad word against someone he cares about, but he WILL personally see to it in his own sneaky way that they get whats coming to them dkdkkdjd usually he'll either find a way to expose their dirty laundry, embarrass them in public, prevent a promotion, something like that lol. this goes double if the insult is directed at nadaia or his family.

Hobby: What’s something they do for fun that might be surprising?

ive already mentioned that he's an avid reader and he likes to write occasionally, but he's also a talented musician! He can play harp and lute, and has a beautiful singing voice ! tho he never EVER sings in public and u have to be like,, a ride or die for him to even consider singing in front of u.

Insomnia: What’s their sleeping schedule like? Snorer? Sound sleeper?

well like i said he's an insomniac so sleep rly is a vague, barely recognised concept to him at the point dksksksk he also experiences sleep paralysis during especially bad nightmares, honestly he rly hit the misery jackpot and i feel so bad like hes indisputably my most tormented oc 🙃🙃🙃 so yea hehe doesnt really thrash around during nightmares but he sweats A LOT and sometimes talks in his sleep. during sleep paraylsis obviouslyy he goes COMPLETELY rigid and still which is terrifying for everyone involved lol. on the rare occasion that he is able to sleep he is out like a light lol he would sleep for 17 hours if he could. in saying that because he is also a Strategic Napper he is usually comfortable falling asleep ANYWHERE, because hes so tired comfort really isnt a concern lol.

Jaded: Do they buy into the “happily ever after” ideal? What’s their standard?

no he doesn't unfortunately 😔 or at least i should say he doesn't believe in it for himself - he's pretty convinced that he won't live til 30 and he's existing on borrowed time as it is, so he hasn't really put a lot of thought into his own happiness or the pursuit of his own goals because he doesn't believe he'll be around to see them realized

Kin: What’s their role among their relations? Do they consider others family?

duncan is the firstborn son of king!alistair and ella cousland, my canon warden. he's also the eldest brother to roslyn and bryce theirin. he's also, obviously , the half brother of keiran, tho none of the theirin kids are aware of that oof. his role, officially, is to become king when his parents eventually pass. its NOT something he wants, due to being so sick and unsure of himself. despite what his parents tell him, he doesnt believe he will make a good king and is really terrified of the notion in general, i guess a little like alistair was in dao. duncan kinda,,, avoids his duties, to the point where he literally LEAVES to live and study in orlais. he still does what he needs to do, keeps in correspondence with people he needs to, but its all bare minimum stuff because hes just. so afraid of it lol. he has a mostly good relationship with his family, despite that – theres some resentment between him and his sister, rose, but thats a whole entire story we dont have time for dkdkskdk

Law: What do they think about abiding rules? Are they selective about it?

like i said before he's pretty adherent to the rules and laws of society tho i do see that as more of a flaw than anything. he doesnt really feel comfortable stepping outside the norm and tends to accept that other people know best ! even if he disagrees he's usually too unsure of himself to speak up. that does change quite a bit once he and nadaia grow closer, since SHE is big on bending ridiculous or unjust rules, but he's always gonna be a bit of a follower i think 😒

Magic: In a magic series or not, are they accepting, or is each instance a shock?

he's accepting!! he's a mage so it would be wild of him if he didnt lmao. during his childhood/adolesence he was kinda harsh on himself and had a lot of internalized guilt for being a mage, bc this was obviously still fresh after the mage rebellions. he resented his own abilities and just wanted to be normal, but that was also him projecting a lot of his other problems as well. he had amazing teachers who helped him come to terms with his abilities, and the best of all was my inquisitor, ashara, who is kind of like a very distant, scary aunt who always had a soft spot for him. she helped him – and alistair and ella – RIGHT after they discovered he was a mage, and she was really the biggest role model in his life when it came to magic. duncan has always looked up to her skill and control and confidence, and tried very hard to match that.

Network: Are they connected to the people? How much do they reach out to others?

duncan has an ARMY of acquaintances and connections due to his family, but doesn't really have a lot of people he considers his close friends. he's super friendly and he gets along with most people, but like ive said before serious relationships including friendships are always a bit complicated for him bc of who he is as a person lol. as for reaching out, he's a very independent, introverted person and so he tends not to seek out other people unless he's close to them or has no other choice. he's very self conscious about being a burden on people or being to “needy" so he holds himself back and sometimes comes across as a little cold.

Offspring: What kind of parent would they be? Would they prefer one, or multiple?

he.... probably can't physically have kids unfortunately due to his condition, and as a result he's never really wanted to think too much about it, or imagine a scenario that he believes he cant have. but if it WERE a possibility, or if he felt stable in his own life enough to adopt, he'd probably be comfortable with just one child to completely spoil. he would be such a good father, albiet maybe not the coolest dad ddkdkdks i think nadaia would be the one who got up to the crazy shenanigans and let her child get away with everything, and duncan would be more of the nurturing, responsible one. he'd be a MASTER at telling bedtime stories, would kick ass at homework assistance, and would sing his kid to sleep every single night (until they got too old for it obviously). ooooo im so IMMENSELY emo abt this au now that i think about it

Pistol: Is this character skilled with a weapon? What’s their opinion of violence?

duncan is a very non-violent person, but he does believe that sometimes violence is necessary and will BE violent if he needs to – only in self defence scenarios though. he's an adept mage, and very skilled with a staff, but he isn't a fighter, really – more of a defensive, protective figure.

Question: How often do they feel doubt? What topics are they defensive about?

oh the doubt is constant with him 🙃🙃 he has a lot of deep routed dread about his own morality and whether or not he's a good person or if the maker will accept him when he dies. he's andrastian but TERRIFIED of the notion that its all actually real, bc then he doesnt know where that leaves him. he has this weird existential dichotomy where he doesnt know if hes closer resembling a grey warden or a darkspawn bc of his tainted blood. he also doubts his abilities and his magic bc he's afraid that the taint just,, makes him inherently a corrupted thing. he doubts himself on a more basic level with like, being a good brother, a good son, a good king when the time comes. he wants to be a good student and partner but sometimes his health makes him feel like he cant, and it weighs on him so heavily, almost all the time. basically he needs a hug so badly its not funny 😔😔😔

Reminder: How are they at remembering daily needs? What falls through the cracks?

uhh its very selective !!! for the most part he's very good at taking care of himself, mostly because he NEEDS to otherwise his health gets out of control, but sometimes he tends to prioritize one set of needs above another,, which usually means not sleeping (the most common), forgetting to eat, not letting his loved ones know when he's having a poor health day which usually results in him getting really sick and nobody is around to help him. he also forgets to do certain things like lock up his house, buy foodstuffs, reply to peoples letters n stuff like that.

Sing: Do they like music? Do they listen often/sing/hum/play songs in their head?

yes and yes !! duncan loves music altho its a very personal and private thing for him. he's pretty naturally gifted with music and gets it from ella, who taught him a lot of what he knows. he has a gorgeous singing voice (i kinda hc something similar to dan smith’s vocals from bastille!) that he rarely uses bc he only ever sings when he's alone or if he's forced to by a nosy loved one or something lol

Touch: How do they handle contact? Is their personal bubble big?

duncan doesn't mind being touched !!! in fact in most situations he welcomes it, as long as its like,,, appropriate and not some random stranger obviously. he grew up with ella and alistair who obviously are VERY affectionate people so he loves giving and receiving hugs from friends and he doesnt flinch or feel weird about just? random natural touches or anything. his ~love language~ is also physical touch so he LIVES for cuddling with nadaia and holding hands and anything like that. however !!! his little sister rose HATES being touched by virtually anybody and in any capacity, so he's very aware that not everybody is okay with touch, and is always careful and considerate of other peoples boundaries. he usually waits for the other person to make the first move, or simply asks them first !

Upcoming: How much do they think of the future? Do they make long-term plans?

he doesn't at all 😔 i mentioned this before but he doesn't see himself living very long, and its really impacted his outlook on life. he is afraid to commit to a lot of things, even if its something he really, truly wants, because he doesn't want to get his hopes up for things. it also keeps him from forging positive relationships. a lot of it has to do with him just being overly polite, but he refuses to make the first move with anything, or communicate what HE wants out of something. for example, his relationship with nadaia could have progressed so much faster if he had just,,, told her what he wanted. she had to make a lot of the first moves in the relationship because he just,, doesnt know how to take chances i guess !!! we love a Deeply Flawed king

Vice: What bad habits do they have? Is there something they would be ashamed of?

Some harmless ones are ; him talking to his cat constantly dkdskd also he has very poor time management skills so he's almost always a few minutes late, forgetting to lock his stuff up, and slouching, probably !!! some more serious ones would be like,, having sex with strangers as a coping mechanism lol, not speaking his mind and instead just letting himself be a doormat, also INTENSE avoidance of his problems (moving away to orlais for 9 years to avoid his fear of being king for example 🙃) tho i guess they fall under the same category oof.

Wardrobe: What’s their fashion style? Do they have any staple pieces?

duncan dresses nice, for the most part !!! again, it's mostly to do with growing up in court and having to keep up appearances, but also hes just. a nice bisexual boy who wants to take care of himself ykno, and that includes hygiene/clothing/grooming etc ! he's maybe a bit TOO reserved tho, he mostly wears dark colours like blacks, greys and brows, but hes been known to wears reds/blues/whites as well, and there’s a lot of subtle yet beautiful details on his more formal attire that might go unnoticed by a casual eye. a lot of his clothes are specifically tailored but he's also fond of big oversized sweaters for when hes just hanging out ! he's got a not great relationship with his body lol so he usually dresses very conservatively, with long sleeves and pants and usually more than one layer, but hes also a thot so !!! pants be TIGHT dksksksks

X-Ray: How’s their health? Any problem areas? Do they take care of themselves?

Djdjdksksndjddjkekdidksjs OKAY WELL if u have read this far than obviously u kno the answer to this question. if ur just skimming tho first of all ur valid ! second of all duncan is VERY sick. he was conceived when ella and alistair where still searching for the joining cur, so basically he inherited the darkspawn taint x 2 and nearly died a bunch of times as a baby/young child. obviously idk how the cure storyline is gonna resolve but my hc is that bc the darkspawn taint is something he was BORN with, not just something that happened to him via ritual, his body is much more impacted by it so even if they are able to find a cure, it wouldnt work THAT well and his health would still suffer bc of the prolonged damage. so physically, he deals with a LOT – intense migraines, insomnia, nausea, fatigue, problems with breathing and fevers and stuff. obviously mentally hes.... not doing great either, tho he’s trying his best. sometimes his insomnia gets so bad he starts hallucinating visions from his darkspawn nightmares, and sometimes he just feel paranoid in general that he's actually an Evil Darkspawn and hes just somehow managed to convince everyone hes a normal person – sort of a weird blend of imposter syndrome and body dysmorphia its. complicated. anyway he has very low self esteem and tends to think hes a huge inconvenience to everybody, and when he was a teenager he went thru a period where he was very suicidal, and ANGRY and afraid 😔 he’s doing better though, now that he has learnt how to manage most of his symptoms and he's not suffering in denerim court. nadaia is also a huge help, though he tries not to become too heavily reliant on her, since he's had bad experiences with depending too much on other people.

Yack: What’s their favorite thing to talk about? What do they go on about?

skskdkdk im already crying hehe 🙂 duncan is so introverted and self conscious of being “Too Much" for other people so he tends to keep his thoughts/interests to himself and stick w just. boring small tall or non invasive questions relating to the other person. BUT if u show an interest and he trusts u then oh boy. hes an absolute dork. he loves talking about magic and having really intense conversations abt the technical sides of it (he and dorian would get along SO well) but he also loves history !!!! before he began studying at the college of enchanters he received multiple ??? qualifications?? (idk if thats the right term but u kno) from the university of orlais, one of them being orlesian and ferelden history. also anything to do with the grey wardens, the blights and darkspawn for personal reasons obviously. He's a VERY good storyteller so he somehow finds a way to make even the dryest topics seem very compelling and Cool – varric would be proud !! he finds the orlesian Great Game fascinating, and he enjoys sharing wild anecdotes about the things he's seen asshole nobles get up to. thats always thrilling skdksksk ALSO. He has a secret interest in necromancy and the mortalitasi (its only a secret bc hes the heir and that wouldnt look ... great lol ) but he only ever really talks about that with nadaia, who finds that stuff almost as interesting as he does. also, finally, he loves talking about nadaia 😊😊😊😊 hes the type of guy who will always namedrop “my girlfriend" into any conversation, loves telling people about her accomplishments and how Cool she is ..... he loves her a Lot is what im getting at sksksks

Zodiac: What’s their astro sign? Does it fit? What would you pick, if it’s unknown?

duncan is a pisces babey like his mother !!! tho he could also be a virgo but,,, i think for now pisces works better for him. he's very smart and introspective and creative, but he has some issues with critical thoughts, avoidance and melancholy like ive mentioned. also pisces is a water element so i guess that makes even more sense, since hes an ice mage 👌👌👌

okay !!! im done !!! i cant believe i wrote all that but i guess if u didnt know abt duncan before, u absolutely do now dksksks im so sorry to anyone who actually read thru all of this, u really are braver than the troops

[batslime]

taggt ( by @wesminator )

Last:

Drink- im schlurpin mtn dew rn

Phone call- my mom to make sure she knew we needed cat food

Text- showing this awful thing to @succubus

Song- ddu-du ddu-du by black pink ( that doesnt even sound the way its spelled and i had to look at it again bc of that )

Time you cried- i dont remember probably while i was watching a movie or smt

Ever:

Been depressed- b o y

Gotten drunk and thrown up- i dont go to parties because i live in the middle of nowhere and ive never been drunk i dont like alcohol enough to get to that point

In the last year have you:

Made new friends- ya

Fallen outta love- YA

Laughed until you cried- no

Found out someone was talking about you- just today my manager told me one of the part time mans texts him to say ive been “acting up” ( i said something to her she didnt get so i told her not to try so hard bc i could smell the smoke coming from her ears ) and he straight up tells her shes stupid fgvhjb

Met someone who changed you- for the worse yes lmao

Found out who your friends are- I’ve found out who my friends aren’t!

Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list- Maybe???? ive remade it so many times/ never go on i dont remember if i have any exes besides @succubus

General:

Fave color- im always a slut for pink but i also love rich greens and lavender

How many Facebook friends do you know IRL - why is a tumblr meme probably aged at like teenage-twenty year olds even asking about facebook

Any pets - rn i have three cats

Do you wanna change your name - legally ya

What did you do for your last birthday - I dont remember i was probably still at home jobless and sad

What were you doing last night at midnight - working on miniatures

What is something you can’t wait for - @succubus is coming over next month, next paycheck, to get the energy to work on all my projects again, genji nendroid

What are you listening to - i just left blackpink playing after i had to look that title up

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - idk

Something that gets on your nerves - god everything lately im like a time bomb

Most visited website - Tumblr and Youtube

Hair colour - Black/ dark brown

Hair length - i cut it asymmetrically l recently and shaved it back in march on the sides so its. all over the place

Do you have crush on someone - i have a crush on being a better and more productive and happier and richer person

What do you like about yourself - lets not start this lol

Want any piercing - not rn im too depressed to take care of my body on a regular basis

Blood type-  b+

Nicknames- 

Zodiac - capricorn

Pronouns - She/Her or They/Them is fine.

Fave TV show - I dont watch tv occasionally tho ill go into netflix and play whatevers nice to listen to while i work, like forensic files or movies im really familiar with 

Tattoos - i dont rly like the way they look i think n when i do see designs i like i like seeing them on other ppl, im too fickle for them myself. i used to do designs for ppl tho

Right or left handed - Right-handed

Ever had surgery - to have my teeth removed and tbh id be terrified and i think id really rather just die if i ever needed under-anesthetic under-the-knife surgery for multiple reasons 

Sports - no

Vacation - i like vegas, theres lots of countries id love to see but ive never been out of the states. im too poor and scared to do that rn esp alone

More general:

Eating - i love squishy foods but ive been craving crunchy stuff a lot lately too. ive been getting bowls of ice to take to my room while i work

Drinking- i drink like three things and that mtn dew, water w crystal lite, and match fraps

About to watch- i dont watch stuff much i just play whatever i can presently stand hearing while i work

Waiting to-

Get married - god no i literally just wanna live alone i dont wanna have to see people in my house while im trying to force myself to work or walking around naked i dont wanna be responsible for another person

Which is better:

Hugs or kisses - i dont like to be tocuhed

Lips or eyes - 

Shorter or taller -  

Nice arms or stomach -  these are like. really obscure selections 

Troublemaker or hesitant -  

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger - no

Drunk hard liquor - no

Lost glasses - yeah i just toss em at the end of my bed at night

Turned someone down - um i work retail and look like a teenager i can hardly fucking go in public without some random ugly ass dude thinking he can talk to me lol 

Been arrested - no

Cried when someone died - i dont think so just animals as far as i can recall, i havent lost anyone close.

Fallen for a friend - ya

Do you believe in:

Yourself - Yeh boi!

st sight - for like animals or shows or smt. if youre talking about another person. thats called attraction and calling it love is creepy and unhealthy and an obsolete concept that we need to nip in the ass tbh. i hear a disproportionate amnt of guys to girls say this and its like always someone they meet in public or whatever. im sure if i were desperate and self hating enough to humor any of the losers who try me theyd say it like five years down the line too. you dont know who tf somebody really is til youve known them for years and gone though real shit and seen how they respond. ive always found “love at first sight” creepy 

Kiss on the first date - idk

Angels - maybe

Others:

Best friend’s name - i call her a disgrace and the cause of my death but other ppl call her franky/ alexa 

Eye colour - Brown

Fave movie - 

Fave actors -

franky ive already tagged you like eight times. also im done working for the day. if you wanna be tagged reblog it and tag yourself im not doing anything else for any more people today 

[ketterdamns]

a brief history

so anyway i’ve been doing a lot of work over the last year (hence why im kinda awol and maybe less positive than I used to be) and the biggest thing that has always come up is to stop retreating when I need to be honest about the things that have happened to me, when acknowledging the things in my life that have damaged me and also as an exercise to let trust my friends and others not to use this information to hurt me- the only power of these words in the hands of others is what I perceive them to have. if i give it away freely and own it it can no longer be used to hurt me, or at least, that is the general idea i might regret this. i might not. i just think i need to try because im so so so tired. 

Anyway, under the cut; csa, parental and spousal abuse, rape, trauma,drugs, addiction, basically all of the triggers. a slightly optimistic ending tho!!! 

Additionally; if you read this, please can you in some way acknowledge that u have, via text, whatsapp, dm, pm, messages, likes (no reblogs pls!!)  just so i can keep track of who knows what ty!!!!

its really hard to admit that ive never had a stable home life. never even had a stable home, from the moment i was in the womb my mum was running, away from my dad (who never let her go), from my dad’s mum- who wanted me dead for reasons my mum has never been able to divulge, from poverty and homelessness throughout my formative years. 

That’s when it started maybe, I was about 3-4/5 we ended up having to move in with my uncle (my dads brother) and his wife. it was an uncomfortable situation for all, we were a family of four intruding on newlyweds, but we were desperate and immigrants to a new country without qualifications for work or money to support us or even a job to hold down. My mum tried her best, but my brother was one and i was two years older. I ended up spending a lot of time with my uncle, who often “took me off of her hands” for afternoons. I don’t rly remember those afternoons, except that I would always play up beforehand, not wanting to go. At some point, my aunt caught on, and instead of talking to her husband, or throwing his pedo ass out, she took out her ??jealousy?? on me, and started pinching me so hard i bruised. she would blame me for my uncle’s behaviour. i was a “madame” pretending to be his “princess”, my mum caught her hitting me, and packed our bags immediately, despite my father not allowing us to leave. we had to stay in that house for another two months, and this is when my mum would never want to let me out of her sight again. And this is also the beginning of the pattern that my dad would allow these things to happen to me but I was just a baby. I didn’t understand. I didn’t know what was happening or why they were. No-one spoke to me and I had no one else in my life at that time. 

We spent some really uncomfortable years in uncomfortable places, but honestly being homeless for that year, and then moving into council accommodation was sort of the least of my worries. I was eight years old the time I was sexually and emotionally abused by my other uncle (also my dad’s brother). It was my first trip back to our home country My grandma spent all her time telling me I was awful (it turns out... she’s a piece of shit) all because I refused to call her “Mum”, she wanted to kidnap me and my brother, and idk what else. but we scuppered her plans by not going along with it. It was a very toxic and scary environment, so when my Uncle would invite me into his next door flat, and treat me with kindness, I was overjoyed. Finally, another adult I could trust! My grandparents used to police food, and essentially only allowed me one meal a day. Back in the UK we were very poor, and rarely got to have sweets unless they were gifts from other people, so my uncle already had the perfect tool to entice me. That first summer, I ate sweets and let him pamper me, slowly giving him more and more affection like sitting on his lap etc, because it meant more sweets for me and my brother. he was my favourite person in the world and i was sure that he was the one person i could truly trust and talk to about anything. I used to dream of moving in with him and living peacefully, well fed, in a quiet cosy environment. The next summer, I was nine, and my dad had almost finished his uni, meaning we were expecting more money. I had my fill of sweets. He bought me toys instead. Slowly, his requests for affection turned into demands. Slowly, his affection turned into something twisted and horrible, something dirty. I once tried to raise the point to my grandma, that sometimes my uncle did things that scared me. she told me off for being a coward. I didn’t say anything. I was getting toys, my little brother was being fed, my mum finally had a friend in my dads side of the family in him. I knew enough about unstable homes that the slightest disagreement could lead to homelessness again and I didnt want that. Maybe my silence was my strength. 

This was confirmed when he raped me when I was 12. It is the last time I will ever see that side of the family. I was in shock the whole time, I didn’t know what to do. When we got home, back onto firm cold soil and the safety of our shitty one bedroom council flat in the roughest estate , I opened up to my dad that for years i’d been terrorised by my uncle and afraid of saying something. Dads were supposed to protect their little girls from big bad men, even if that man was their brother. 

All I got for my troubles was another man who began to hurt me. Outraged that I’d ever speak something so horrible my dad began to beat me. Constantly. And if my mum got involved? He’d beat her too. she didn’t even know what was happening, but there was a point she also went silent, and it was all on me to bear the pain I’d tried to share. The following summer, my uncle died in a freak accident When I heard the news I laughed because I couldn’t help myself, and getting hit for it was worth it for the news. I never had to see him again.  He died and I was free. Except my dad never quite forgot what I had said, and he never forgave me for it. 

Anyway by this point I was a teenager, we moved again and constantly over the years until we properly settled and actually bought a house and I had a strong group of friends who didn’t mind my weirdness and my lack of skills. My mum at this point couldnt bear that I was branching out from her bubble, and something snapped in her too, she started to search my room, stalk my friends, refuse to let me out. honestly.. no i dont blame her (even tho her behaviour hasnt changed and im 23, but at the time? it increased how trapped i felt)

I was a teenager and I had a best friend. She loved a boy named DJ who was 18. DJ used to stalk me, and I kept quiet because I knew she liked him and I knew speaking up would cause me more trouble. I could look after her, and myself. DJ assaulted me one night at a party. I shouldn’t have been there and I shouldn’t have been doing what I was doing. I was already experimenting with drinks and drugs because I was dead inside anyway. he hurt me and then told my best friend that i’d hooked up with him and hoodwinked him into getting with me because i wanted to hurt her. within days that story was around school. i was the easy kid who would sleep with anyone for the drama, and i was quiet. i was terrified news would get to my mum, or my little brother who was also starting at that school. but most of all i was terrified of telling my side of the story, and to be hurt more than i was hurting already. I unfriended them all, and even though DJ continued to stalk me i kept quiet. DJ sent me a necklace with a dove, explaining the significance was that the dove was my innocence or some other weird creepy crap. my mum found it in the bin where id tried to bury it under rubbish i told her a fraction of the truth, I was being harassed by a boy and I didn’t welcome his advances. I didn’t tell her it was already too late. The school of course told him to keep away, and he did for the most part, and one time he tried to corner me while I was skiving off of a class and there was no one around, I ran and went to tell a teacher. I got told to “grow up” and sometimes “we have to get along with people we dont like”. I was the villain in their eyes. I swore  I would do everything in my power to get out of this school, go to the grammar in a new city where my reputation . DJ was arrested this year for online grooming an d sharing child pornography, and it honestly breaks my heart that its been going on for so long. maybe i should have said more, but who to? 

My time at school wasn’t all bad. And i had my first real positive experience with an older man. My english teacher once caught me unawares and I had a panic attack at being alone with a man-- he was gentle and kind, and worked with me to get to where i wanted to be grades-wise. he let me borrow his books and told me stories about his own son and i understood what real love meant, and it broke me that i’d never experienced it. 

My brother had grown so big now, and threatened my dad. if he ever lay another finger on one of us under our roof, my brother would kill him. my brother spent his childhood learning to fight, he’s in the runnings for the Olympics. My dad recognised the threat was real. And never hit me when my brother was home. However, when my brother wasn’t home... that was another story. my silence then was another kind of strength. I couldnt tell him the truth, because if he followed through on this threat, his life would be over. My dad got more sneaky, he would avoid my face, he’d grab my ankle and twist it so tight that it’s now forever fucked up. 

Despite all my fucked-up ness I did make it to grammar school, despite my parents not wanting me to go there. And im so glad i did. I finally had two years with minimal assault. My dad hurt me sometimes? The first night after my induction class because summer break, my dad took my prized hockey stick- one I’d worked long days to afford, and smashed it on my leg. I had to get crutches and didn’t leave my house for most of the summer, because I didn’t want to explain what happened. I couldn’t play my sport ever again properly. I lied to my friends and told them i was in my home country for the summer. i legit did not leave my house unless it was for doctors appts. 

 occasional nights he would be tired of me doing nothing but homework or making projects, or being loud. Alternately, he’d hate it when suddenly i became withdrawn and uncommunicative. when i physically couldn’t move etc. anyway turns out these were symptoms of my MI which wouldn’t be diagnosed for a long while, despite trying to find what was wrong with me from this point onwards.  but!!! for the most part! it was great! my school was in another city! i had freedom for a couple hours every day to do what i wanted! i made friends who embraced my weirdness! i had no reputation and i had my very own laptop finally so i could finally have some privacy!

too much privacy, i refused to give my mum my laptop password. hearing this, my dad threw my laptop down the stairs. 

i used what little money i had from part time jobs to fix it, but its something im resentful of to this day. my mum, in her eagerness to protect me, just let him hurt me again. 

anyway blah blah blah i moved to london and it was amazing i ran away i was free everything was going to change and i was finally going to be the person i always knew i was destined to be! chic and cosmopolitan and cool and confident and most importantly, safe, and comfortable, and in control. And I was. and then three weeks before halloween it happened again. i’d been away from home for two months now, and i’d started dabbling in harder drugs than weed, but that night i was not high. i was not in withdrawal. i was only drunk. i got raped again. this time, i did report it, but only because my housemates knew it had happened. i got rushed to A&E where they are legally required to call the police. the police took me to their HQ and i was interviewed. they arrested him. none of this was my choice, and my lack of silence led to a lack of control. I know ive been detailed already, but i wont go into detail about the rape kits they have and the questions i got asked and the journalists who dogged me and the nosy gossips who wanted to know the juicy deets. I don’t want to go into detail about how i realised I was a victim and was always going to be a victim, and i cant go into detail about the most recent abuses, not yet. All I know is i once thought i was in love with a boy called ‘T’, and what he did to me was worse because he made me believe this was all I could get and that I had to settle. He made me believe that him getting off on my trauma was love, instead of him picturing me as a child repeatedly brutalised by my male relatives. The moment I came to my senses and he was gone, I realised I was alone again. I failed my second year of uni, because the day before my final exam, my rapists wife found my house in london, idk how. She and her child begged me to help her husband’s appeal. I sympathised with her, she was a non-native with broken english looking after her kid. She reminded me of my mum. I told her for her chid’s sake and for her sake, I couldn’t. She cursed me and nothing has been the same since. actually, the lovely people of tumblr helped me raise the funds to complete summer school and carry on with my life. i now hold a masters degree. i remember each and every one of u who donated or signal boosted. i also remember my choice to keep his wife out of it, and not mention her. silence was golden. 

This year my rapist  was deported after raping another person when he was released for good behaviour. 

anyway. despite all of this magnitude of shit that has happened to me. despite my numerous addictions that im still working thru (im sorry if u knew me when i was nothing but a junkie. at 19/20 I was not a good person and anything I said that was thoughtful or provocative came from a bad place. I gave bad advice and abused my medication alongside brown and alcohol. My manic episodes got worse than I’ve ever experienced and usually led to me some very dark very scary places. I’m mostly better now but the last year has Been A Lot. I tried to kill myself twice. Once, I was saved by police, which is... embarrassing and I lied my ass off (and brandished the fact i was a MASTERS STUDENT OF LAW and they had entirely the wrong end of the stick) and another time, i was saved by chance. I am making so much progress tho. I’m proud of me. I’ve become more independent. I’m not afraid to speak out when I’m dissatisfied now. I know strength comes from knowing what you want and what you don’t want, not settling for the worst because unknown reactions in my imagination are worse than whatever reality has in store. 

im graduating from my masters next week. i feel as tho ive lost a lot of friends and people i cared about- all i can say is im sorry. i’m trying. but if i fuck up, its on me. if i speak too loudly and it hurts you, please tell me. if i dropped away, its because i had to work on me, and im sorry, and im ready to come back, if you’ll have me.  I’m really excited about the future, but im scared too. the last three months have been so hard and every day i feel like giving up again, but I won’t. there has to be a reason i survived all this, and im yet to find it, but i hope i will. im still going thru shit. my dad is still the worst. but i have a really lovely partner who is so so so patient with me- more than i deserve, im in touch with a doctor and a sleep therapist, my brother is looking out for me and im getting in touch with old friends, and im making new ones all the time. thank you for sticking by me, and sorry for the long read. i just had to get it out there you know? its my truth and the silence was killing more than anything else in this stupid story is. ive left lots of details out, but parts of my story interlink with others and other parts im still holding onto, i cant share everything online i think thats enough oversharing for a long long time. 

[skiasurveys]

sex sex sex sex.

1. What’s your favorite position and why? i like doggy style a lot because i dont know it just feels really great and its pretty dominating..but i also like missionary but its boring but i like it when i want to feel “romantic”. lmao.

2. How did you lose your virginity? If you’re still a virgin, is there any specific reason?  I lost my virginity at 19. Basically I was preparing to bang my boyfriend ( my current one!) but I was super nervous ( I already had some trauma from the past). I was scared and stuff and so we tried and I was like Idk man im scared. Then later that night we just started to kiss and make out and he asked if I wanted to try again and I said sure so I got naked blah blah, I was sitting on him kissing hm and then bam he fucked me but it felt really awesome and nice, didn’t hurt because he was slow at it and then he fucked me from behind after i got used to it lol. Great times. That was like a year ago!

3. If you could have sex with any porn star or model, who would it be?  i dont know any porn stars and im not attracted to any models either.

4. What’s one thing in particular that makes you want to tear off your lover’s clothes? Sometimes if he looks at me a certain way or if were doing something . Or if he starts touching my thighs and/or kissing my neck 

5. Five turn ons. 1. Strong looking/masculine 2.Taller than me but no taller than 6′3 3. kissing my neck. 4. man handeling me (without being too aggressive).5. showing me off ( Not like “OH LOOK WHAT I HAVE” but being proud you have me. 6. Five turn offs. 1. Being an asshole. 2.Acting like you don’t care about me when youre around others. 3.Racist/sexist/etc 4.Creepy. 5.Hating my friends

7. Have you had any embarrassing sexual experiences?   its so embarrassing.. so I had just finished my period ( OR so i thought) and we started to fuck and it was going well.. after we finished he was like “Um i think you still have your period.” and Im like “what?” and yeah there was blood on his dick and I legit ran and cried in the bathroom like a little bitch LOL. He came after me and said it was fine and that hes done more awkward shit but DUDE...

8. Do you have a fetish? not really. I like calling my boyfriend daddy in the bedroom but i dont like the ddlg fetish at all. 

9. Have you experimented with anyone of the same sex?  no 10. What’s “out of bounds” for you during sex?  Choking, or tying me up, or like bondage stuff. I just have a severe panic attack if that happens and I dont like it and I had trauma so its actually triggering.

11. What’s the best sexual unsolicited advice you can give?  Just dont fuck them if youre not ready. 

12. Hickies - get ‘em or give ‘em? both

13. Do you like giving head? im that weird girl who actually enjoys sucking cock

14. Do you like getting head? yes 

15. What’s one thing you look for in a partner?  loyalty and companionship. 

16. How many partners have you had?  1 and im still with him :)

17. What’s your sexual orientation? Straight

18. If you’re bi/pansexual, what gender do you tend to prefer? n/a

19. Describe the best sex you’ve ever had.  Theres a few. It usually is when he goes hardcore with teasing me and kissing me. One time he was kissing me and teasing me. He ate me out for a bit which was amazing, and the he kissed me from my tummy to my lips, and he fucked me hard but slow and said I love you which was awesome. But i also had one where He was teasing me and doing lots of foreplay and he told me he owned me and that he wanted all of me and then he fucked me so good. especially when he cums inside me. MMMMM.

20. Describe the worst sex you’ve ever had. It wasnt bad but I just have depression and sometimes it hits me when were fucking and  i lost my sex drive and just didnt care and it didnt last that long but i lied i orgasmed so he could finish because i wasnt feeling it lol

21. Have you ever had a funny sexual experience? What was it? i dont know. Im sure. 22. Are you okay with rough sex?  Yess just not too rough ok!

23. How big was the biggest dick you’ve ever seen? Was it in a porn or in real life? well i mean guys in porn always have huge dicks but my boyfriend is the only one Ive had and he is pretty big.

24. Boobs or ass - which is better? ass. 25. Do you prefer sex or masturbation? sex i hate masturbating.

26. Describe how you usually masturbate. ill leave that for your imagination. 

27. Do you like tattoos on a partner or do you like them to have a clean slate, skin wise?  i dont care. either or.

28. How do you feel about daddy dom/little girl roleplaying? some people go a little too far with it. Like for example actually acting like they are 4 years old in public. You can leave it to the bedroom, please.

29. What’s your fantasy?  pay off my student loans.

30. Do you have any sexual regrets? no

31. When did you last have sex? april 1st before Connor moved! He will be back in the end of May or start of June so it will be a while before we have sex again :(

32. When did you last masturbate? last night

33. Have you had anal? yeah. Its ‘ight. 

34. Do you like to spank/be spanked?  i like to be spanked.

35. What do you want done to you right now?  well since  I havent seen my boyfriend in like a month i would love it for him to just push me against a wall. mmm.

36. Are you comfortable with getting tied up? no

37. Did you have sex in high school? nope. No one really liked me back then. I had like 2 boyfriends then and it was shitty then. I met Connor the fall after i graduated. Hilarious.

38. How old were you when you lost your virginity? How long has it been? 19 years old and its been a year now.

39. Do you like teasing or would you rather get straight to the point? teasing.

40. Sexting or phone sex?  ive done both. sexting is fun but phone sex can be pretty hot. I just dont like phone sex..i rather sext tbh

41. Have you had sex in any interesting places? One time we were hanging at our friends place and everyone had gone to bed and Connor was cuddling me on their couch and he said , “ I bet its just bothering you that you cant touch me” and im like whatever idc and then hes like “lets lowkey fuck” so we fucked on their couch while they were sleeping! It was pretty fun but nervous cus if someone walked out. oh god..and then we fucked behind a couch like 3 times while there was a party going on. cool.

42. Are you sexually active?  i guess so. since he moved its hard to say but its only for short time.

43. Have you had car sex? no our car is too small for that. but i want to.

44. Have you ever had sex with anyone else in the location you were at? (i.e., while your sister was in the other room) yes..see above

45. Why aren’t you fucking anyone right now? well the only person i would fuck is in a nother city obvs so thats why.

46. Are you able to have emotionless sex? not rly

47. Does penis size really matter? yes

48. What has been your most memorable experience sexually? theres a lot

49. If male, are you well endowed? n/a

50. If female, what’s your breast size?  34 B cup.

51. Have you ever been the other person? no

52. Have you ever cheated on anyone?  no!

53. Describe an orgasm.  i just felt really weird and shakey but it felt so good.

54. What’s the longest time you’ve had sex for? I dont really keep count.

55. What’s the shortest time you’ve had sex for?  like 5 minutes. -___-

56. If you could change the person you lost your virginity to, would you?  no

57. Have you had any pregnancy scares? Yeah kinda. my one period didnt come once and i was so scared. I bought like 3  sticks.

58. Are you comfortable naked?  kinda. Ive been with Connor for a year now and I still feel awkward naked. lol

59. Are you comfortable sending pictures of yourself to others? depends.

60. What’s your sexual comfort zone like?just dont do rape play.

61. What’s something sexual that you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up liking?  i cant think of anything

62. Do you have any piercings in fun places? (i.e., clit, nipples, dick) no

63. Would you say you’re good in bed?  i think so.

64. How do you get sex tips? internet or i ask him how he wants me to do something. like i ask him if he likes what im doing and he will tell me how he wants it.

65. Have you ever had sex with anyone while they were on their period? Have you ever had sex while on your period?  no except that one time when i thought i was fkn done but i wasnt. kill myself.

66. If you could be the other sex for a day, would you and what would you do first? idk.

67. What’s your favorite part about being the gender you are? I dont know really. I can buy cute drinks without looking dumb?

68. Slow but passionate, or fast, furious, and kinky? slow but passionate. But also depends on the mood or whatever because sometimes i want rough, sometimes i don’t.

69. Have you ever 69’d? Did you enjoy it?  yes but it feels too good to suck him while hes eating me out.

70. Have you ever done drugs and then had sex?  weed

71. Have you ever had sex with someone you’re in love with? yes

72. How are you with BDSM? Would you ever engage in it?  nope.

73. Do you like gagging on cock/having someone gag on your cock? Why?  i love gagging on his cock.

74. When it comes to oral, are you gentle? Do you use your hands too? gentle. i dont want to hurt him but if i do go hard kinda. and yeah i used my hands.

75. Okay, how do you feel about handjobs?  sometimes i do hand jobs but its only when im making him hard. Lol.

76. Have you had any unwanted pain during sex? yeah.

77. What is something that’s not sexual that can turn you on more than anything sexual?  arms? 78. Can your sexual partners be categorized by their zodiac signs? no

79. Have you had sex to music? What’s your favorite sex song? we fucked to Wish you were here by Pink Floyd.

80. What’s something you want to try in bed?  i dont know.

81. Has anyone drew blood from you during sex, whether it was by cutting, biting, or scratching? How did you feel about that? no. if there was blood from biting/scratching/etc i would feel awful.

82. Have you ever fucked someone who was sad? Did it help them emotionally or make it worse? I have fucked him when he was sad and it helped and same for me sometimes it makes me feel way better.

83. Do you like sexual anons? no

84. What’s your ideal round of sex?  i dont know.

85. Do you like the use of whipped cream, handcuffs, chocolate, and cherries?  nope.

86. Have you ever been walked in on or caught?  almost got caught.

87. Have you ever had sex in public? Would you? yes and i would.

88. What’s a good sex joke?  i dont know. 89. Do you like to be called a dirty slut or would you rather be treated like royalty?  i love it when he calls me a slut but theres a time and place during sex when i want to be slutty and then loved LMAO.

90. Are you more submissive or dominant? sub 91. What’s your naughtiest secret? i almost fucked a 33 year old when i was 18.

92. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve encountered sexually?  i cant think of anyting

93. Have you ever “stuck your dick in crazy”? Was there a lesson learned?

94. Do you like playing with balls/having someone play with yours? i like playing with them because he loves it. 

95. What’s the best nonsexual feeling?  feeling safe and loved by them.

96. Do you like feet? ew 97. Do you look at rule 34/hentai? ew....

98. Pick a random question off this survey for yourself. N/A 99. Who’s your ideal sexual partner? MY BOYFRIEND.

100. Do you have a partner right now? Would you like one? have my boyfriend :) 101. Are you accepting “applications” for a partner?  um no

[skiasurveys]

1. When did you both get together? we started to flirt/hang out around april 2016, we officially started dating in may 2016 though.

2. Who made the first move?  he did

3. How long have you been a couple? its been 2 years and 2 months

4. How did you first meet?  online dating app

5. Were you already close friends before going out as a couple?  not rly, we tried to date before and that lasted for a week..didnt talk for a while. when we got back into contact around end of the march of 2016 we kinda were “friends” but not rly.

6. Are you/Were you ever in the same class at school?  no

7. Are you long-distance?  nope

8. Are you in an open, regular or committed relationship? committed

9. Do you live together?  we did for a bit. not anymore. were planning on finding our own place soon though now that we both have jobs

10. Are you engaged? If yes, describe your proposal. If no, what ring would you like?  yeah we got engaged in feb. basically connor wanted this TV he found on kijiji and we went to go get it. it was in a town that was 40 mins away, anyways on the way back we pulls over on the side of the road and im like wtf and then he got down on his knee and asked me to marry him. it took me by surprised, bc i wasnt expecting it obvs and i didnt think he would ever ask me tbh bc he said he didnt like the idea of marriage.

11. Are you married? If yes, describe your wedding. If no, would you consider marriage?  ^ yeah

12. Which one of you is older? What is the age difference?  he is by 6.5 yrs

13. Which one of you is taller? What is the height difference?  he is by a foot 

14. Do you share any of the same hobbies/interests/passions? yeah we like the same movies, tv shows, video games

15. What fictional couples would you compare yourselves to? idk lol

16. Sum up your relationship in 6 words or less.  were comfortable and happy

17. Doodle a little picture of you both as a couple.  no

18. Describe your relationship using only emoticons.  :3

19. Share a cute photo of you both together.  check my instagram @ wolfkhid

ATTRACTION

20. Top 5 fav things about your partner. he is funny, handsome, tall, he understands me,hes smart

21. Your partner’s top 5 fav things about you. ask him

22. What physical traits do you find most attractive about your partner? his face and his arms/hands. mmm

23. What physical traits does your partner find most attractive about you? he likes that im small, he likes my body shape (short stacked)

24. What personality traits do you find most attractive about your partner? he is funny,  he tells me the truth, hes honest

25. What personality traits does your partner find most attractive about you?  he likes that im caring and that im funny

26. Do you hold hands in public? Any other public displays of affection?  we do sometimes. he doesnt like pda too much. he’ll smack my ass tho lol

27. List your top 3 turn-ons about your partner. he is tall, his domiance, and hes funny 

28. List your partner’s top 3 turn-ons about you.  im small, my ass and im submissive 

29. How would you seduce your partner? How would they seduce you? food obviously.

30. Innocently or not, where do you like your partner to touch you?  my thighs or sides

31. Describe your partner’s eyes. Amber brown and round. theyre really nice. im not poetic  32. Describe your partner’s hair. dark brown, short and messy lol 

33. Describe your partner’s smile. happiness

34. What is your partner’s voice like? deep and nice 

35. What is your partner’s scent like? idk how to explain it

36. How does your partner impress you? How do you impress them? harfcore eating skills

37. What outfit would you like to see your partner in? What would they like to see you wear?  he likes me in short skirts and thigh high socks. i honestly dont care what he wears as long as its nice. he looks good in skinnyish jeans

38. Show your fav picture of your partner that they’ve posted online. not sure if he would be okay with that LOL

ROMANCE 39. Do you have cute pet names for each other? yeah

40. What’s one of your favourite memories as a couple?  theres so many

41. Describe your favourite date so far? when we played super smash bros at the college

42. What’s the sweetest thing that your partner’s ever done for you? paid off my credit card bill. made me a really nice  salad, etc

43. Do either of you get jealous? i do lol cus im insecure. he doesnt unless he does and i just dont know  

44. Is one of you protective of the other? we both are

45. How do you both like to kiss? passionate 

46. How do you both like to cuddle? all tangled up

47. What’s a gift that you’ve given to your partner? And one they’ve given to you? i got him some nice cologne and he gave me some money to pay off my card, and also he got me a nice ring

48. Are you an openly mushy couple or a reserved couple? reserved honestly

49. Does one of you like to cook for the other? we both do

50. Do you have unique ringtones/images for each other on your phones?  not unique 

51. Have you ever had your initials written on a tree or in the sand? haha no

52. What’s “your song”? i cant help falling in love with you

53. Do you own any items that are a special symbol of your relationship? sure

54. What did you both do for Valentine’s Day? he proposed to me :D

55. Do you express your love lavishly or discreetly?  both?

56. What’s the funniest thing you can remember your partner doing? theres a lot..lol he pretended to be a snake

57. Does thinking about your partner still give you butterflies?  kinda

58. What’s the weirdest part of your relationship? everything hahah

BEING TOGETHER 59. Fav things to do together on a rainy day? playing WoW together, or watching movies, or going to get Thai food!

60. Fav things to do together on a sunny day? Same thing, go for walks maybe bike ride.

61. Got any plans together for next week? not really. hes going biking with his friends and im working lol but ill prob spend the night on Saturday

62. What’s your favourite thing to share together? Food

63. What did you do for your partner’s latest birthday? What did they do for yours? nothing for him, he doesnt like birthday parties so we didnt do anything, but i bought him a present. He gave me some money, and we hung out, except he worked that night so we couldnt do much.

64. Where would you like to go on holiday together? maybe Disneyland

65. You have a whole weekend to yourselves and 500 in cash- what do you do? maybe we go to Banff and have a nice stay there

66. How would you comfort your partner on a bad day? How would they comfort you? I would make him a nice meal maybe or rub his back. I would tell him everything is OK. It depends on whats bothering him. For me he would hold me and watch movies with me and kiss me.

67. Where would you both get takeout together? thai place downtown i forget the name

68. What’s the longest time you’ve been apart?  About 1 month and 1 week, he went to Prince George to see his Dad and some family. 

69. What things remind you of your partner? What things remind them of you? Pokemon honestly lol and idk honestly. maybe nuggets

70. Has your relationship changed at all since it first started? well yeah! we are more closer, i feel like i can be myself. 

71. Have you ever worked on a project together?  kinda. not rly.

72. Have you both influenced each other in any way? sure

73. Have either of you made sacrifices for this relationship? yes. Connor literally slept behind a couch for like 7 months because he wanted to stay in RD and didnt want to leave me, and he didnt have a place. (he couldnt stay with me b/c my family is really conservative and we couldnt afford a place together). He honestly is so wonderful. He now has a place

74. Has you discovered anything surprising about your partner? yes. 

75. How have you both made a positive impact on each other’s lives?  i would hope so.

76. What do you both mutually agree is the most important part of your relationship? honesty, conversation/communication, loyalty. 

EVERYDAY LIFE 77. What are the everyday things you both do to show you care about each other? being there for each other, talking, etc.

78. Do you follow each other’s blogs/twitter/instagram? yes but he doesnt have IG or Twitter, but i follow him on other stuff

79. Is there a favourite place that you both frequently go to together? not really.

80. What TV shows do you like to watch together? theres too many to name honestly.

81. How do you relax together? chilling and netflix

82. What sleep positions do you tend to sleep together in? spooning usually, or tangled up. depends on how hot it is though

83. Do you borrow each other’s clothes or other items? not so much clothes but items yes

84. Do you ever share the bathroom together? yeah 

85. How do you both keep in touch when you’re away from each other? texting

86. Do you share secrets between each other?  yes

87. Do you rotate house chores or do you each have assigned chore duties? well we dont live together but i help him clean his place if he needs help. But if we were to live together we would rotate it.

88. Do you remember how your partner takes their coffee/tea/bar drinks?  he doesnt like coffee or tea and doesnt drink so much

89. What does your partner think of your Tumblr? nothing?? i guess?? he doesnt rly care he doesnt check on it

90. What characters do you play as together when playing multiplayer games? we do a lot of rpg games

COMPATABILITY 91. Are you both introverted/extroverted or opposites?  hes more intro than me, but im like a mix/

92. Who is the more dominant/submissive one? hes the dom for sure

93. What are some major differences between you both? he is more messy, and chill/care free than me.

94. When are you both “in your element” together? what

95. Who would win in an arm-wrestling contest? him obvs

96. What are each of your zodiac signs and how do they compare? he is a Taurus and im  Sagittarius . and idk b/c i dont read up on that shit

97. What are each of your MBTI types and how do they compare? omg idk what his is! im an isfj

98. What are each of your Hogwarts houses and how do they compare? n/a

99. If you were both in a dating sim, what character tropes would each of you be? idk

100. If you were both animals what would you be? Would you be the same animal?  he would be a cat, id be a raccoon obvs

101. How does your partner’s wardrobe differ from yours?  he is more laid back, just jeans and tshirts, or sweat pants. I wear a lot of nice shirts, skinny jeans/ leggings and buisness casual if i have too

102. Have you ever both said something at the exact same time? yea

103. Rate your relationship on a scale of basic vanilla (1) to extremely kinky (10)  um like maybe a 7

104. Mix your fav colour with your partner’s fav colour- what is the result? Magenta

105. If you were both ingredients, what would each of you be and what would be the resulting recipe? (e.g. PB & jelly sandwich) ummm lol idk

106. Which of you would win in a Pokemon battle? Assign yourself and your partner a fitting Pokemon type (e.g. water, grass, poison etc). Are either of you super effective against the other? he obvs cus he knows more about POkemon lol

CONFLICT 107. What happens when you argue with each other? How do you both make up? we stay silent for a bit or we talk it out. 

108. What’s something that your partner does that annoys you? How do you annoy them? he doesnt text back all the time -_- and i probably annoy him with my constant questions or reassurance

109. What are some imperfections that you love about your partner? he is a derp

110. What are some imperfections that your partner loves about you? 

111. Has your partner ever accidentally hurt you? Have you accidentally hurt them? i have scratched him by accident, and he has bruised me while wrestling lol

112. Is there anything about you that your partner just doesn’t understand? yeah my mental illnes

113. Is there anything about your partner that you just don’t understand? why does every little thing make him mad lol

114. When was the last time you cried about your relationship and why? idk 

115. What is something you love that your partner hates? im not sure honestly.

116. What is something you hate that your partner loves? anime

117. When was the last time you had to apologise to your partner and why? when i got mad at him and was being a smart ass

118. Do either of you get too clingy? both of us but me abit more

119. Do you have any insecurities about your relationship? yep.

120. When was a time that your relationship was put to the test? never?

121. What would your partner have to do to make you end the relationship?  cheat on me honestly, or just start changing completely.

RELATIONS 122. Does your family approve of your relationship? yes

123. What do your friends think of your relationship?  they like him

124. How do you both act together around others as opposed to when you’re alone together? when we are around others we can tease eachother and just be together but when were alone were more open, flirt more, etc

125. How did you first reveal to people that you were going out?  told them..and also facebook

126. Do you think you and your partner look similar to each other? lol not really..i mean we both have dark eyes and hair, but i dont think we look anything a like. He has some turkish in him too so theres that lol im just a white bitch

127. How does your partner treat you special compared to everyone else in their life? he opens up to me, tells me his deep secrets, teases me, etc

128. Do you both have a mutual friend group, or only separate friendship groups?  both, but his friends dont rly see my friends that much haha

129. What’s a common misconception about your relationship? earlier it was that he was too old for me. idk what ppl think anymore

130. Has your relationship affected any of your relations with others? i dont think so.

131. Has anyone tried to sabotage your relationship? yep

132. Quote something somebody has said about your relationship. “you guys are so cute together!! couple goals”

133. Quote something somebody has said about your partner. “he’s glad your dad is dead” - some cunt LOL

FUTURE 134. What do you hope for the future of your relationship? that we can live in a nice home and be happy lol

135. If you both got married, what would you want your wedding to be like? intimate and small.

136. Can you imagine what your ideal home would look like? something simple.

137. Do you have kids/want to have kids? What would they be like?  we both dont want kids. 

138. If you could do anything for your partner what would you do? make him happy

139. Do you think you’ll still be together when you’re old and wrinkly? i hope so, i believe so

140. Got any relationship advice?  just the basic , dont be with someone all b/c youre lonely.