iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.

Featuring Helpful Sections such as:

Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them

Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone

What the Everloving Fuck is Probate

Some Simple Dos and Don’ts

Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials

How to plan a non-religious death party

So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures.

It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.

I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.

Good luck!

(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

My what

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

This might be Derek Guy's greatest masterpiece.

(The Twitter thread is probably easier to read and easier to look at the images, but I wanted to make sure it got preserved. Images are the tweets.)

(Continued in reblog)

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

how it FEELS to not own a can opener in tf2

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

such rage in such a little body

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

Guy who closes his locker and then dances out of frame in that one scene in the twin peaks pilot. Nobody gets it like him.

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

having a freeze response to stress is so funny in the context of normal adult stressors. millions of years of evolution are trying to tell me that the email will not find me if i stay very still and do nothing

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

Patches fact. Patches likes to follow me into whatever room I'm in. Then she finds a good spot in that room to be asleep in. Sometimes that spot is the chair I'm already sitting on. This makes it her chair.

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

bastille is correct. how AM i gonna be an optimist about this?

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

Absolutely horrid that a 10hr sleep does not cure you of all that ails you

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

cant believe on top of all the political stress and financial instability next year theyre gonna send the kaiju after us too

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

hese Hyalophora cecropia are the largest moths found in North America

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

May I have a Friday fun fact?

Today You Learned about the Pictish Beast!

In Scotland, there was a group of people called the Picts. Contrary to what you probably think, it’s unlikely they tattoed themselves with woad to look blue, because scientists tried it out and found out it makes a crappy tattoo material. And they did a lot of cool carvings that they left around Scotland, still being found today! Like this:

Some of them have carvings of animals, like wolves, or horses, or boars. Cool stuff. Except that they also sometimes have this thing:

What the eff is that? Well, in truth–we don’t know. It’s just some creature. What makes this stranger is that while there are some more symbolic images, overall, the Picts were pretty good at carvings of animals–all of them you can tell quite clearly what they are. But the Pictish Beast is just some weird critter. And it keeps popping up! So it must have been something culturally important, but we haven’t a clue what. 

There are a lot of random guesses I’ve heard over the years, including:

-A seahorse. -An elephant. -A dolphin. -A kelpie. -The Loch Ness Monster. -Some unknown, mythical creature from the long-dead Pictish religion we’ve never heard of. -A stylized animal-shaped brooch.

[shrugs] Who knows, man.

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

if shes your girl then why have i slowly been replacing her parts until there’s nothing left of her original body? is she then still your girl?

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]

adhd paralysis sucks bcuz im just sitting there and my brain is like

YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME

no work done no rest gained. literally no point of this at all

[iforgotmyariginalaccountpassword]