#that reference to his confession IM SOBBING

[seiwas]

omg i maxed the tags 😭

WHEN HE SAYS. sayin it is the hard but ive spent forever lovin ya—always been the easiest bit ☹️☹️☹️☹️ IM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SAD BUT IN THE BEST WAY RN

&&&& when he asks u so directly too. when you say u love him but it’s not enough so he asks if ure IN love with him oh my guckdisn im such a sucker for that

AND HE ASKS PERMISSION TO TOUCH YA TOONAKANZJS OHHHH IM LOOOOOOSING IT

😭😭😭😭😭😭

WHEN HE HUGS YOU OHHHHH MY HEART. It reminds me so much of how he did when u fell of that tree 😭😭😭 and and and how despite not touching u for months he still knows u just the same aksndkjx

IF I KISS YA YA GNA CRY AGAIANKSNXKSNSKSJSJ STAWHP I AFNT TAKE THIS

MYYYYY GOOODOODKDKEJDJIEJD IM A BAWLING MESS

im sorry for this mess of a reaction op but. thank u for writing this 🥹🥹🥹🥲🥲🥲🥹🥹🥹🥲🥲🥲 crying so hard rn but i loved this so much its so good 🥹 thank uou thsnk you thNk uou i cant see what im thping rn

leave the light on - miya osamu/f!reader (haikyuu!) part 10 in the bff!osamu series tags: childhood friends to lovers, tw instant coffee mention, miscommunication, confessions, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Onigiri Miya closes early on Sunday nights.

It’s not for lack of business—the shop would certainly take in enough revenue to justify staying open regular hours an extra day per week, especially on a weekend. But in the early days of Onigiri Miya, when it was just a one-man show, Osamu needed at least one night that he could count on having off. The workweek business—office workers and students going through their routine hustle and bustle—kept him going, enough so that Sunday nights weren’t a make or break for him, and he was able to start shuttering in the early afternoon once per week.

He remembers those early days. Sweet talking vendors to bring down the cost of produce and haggling with the grubby, bleary eyed men at fish market stalls at the crack of dawn for a deal on the catch of the day. Promising suppliers that he’d be able to get them their money in a couple of weeks if they’d just give him some more time. Standing on the road, because Onigiri Miya was just a street stall back then, trying to coax people in and try his food. To convince them to take a chance on him. He remembers burns on his hands and cuts on his fingers and an ache in his bones that ran so marrow-deep he forgot what it felt like to not be so sore. Sunday nights were the only night he had to relax. The only night he had to sit down, to take off his hat, and to have a beer—or, even more frequently, pass out on his couch in his uniform at 8pm and sleep right through to his alarm the next morning.

Closing early on Sundays had been your idea, way back when— suggested to him gently while he rested with his head in your lap in your tiny student apartment after another 16 hour workday. He still remembers the worry in your eyes as you brushed his hair back from his tired face.

Nowadays things aren’t so hectic. Osamu’s got a good team of people around him to help Onigiri Miya run smoothly—a team who he trusts and values. It doesn’t all fall onto his shoulders in the same way that it used to: he doesn’t have to be there for every open and every close, his bills are paid, he’s not fighting to lure people in off the street just in the hope that he can scrape by for another week.

Now when he closes early on Sunday, it’s more for the sake of his staff than anything else. Occasionally Osamu will take the night off, too; he’ll go home and catch up on housework, run an errand or two, or even grab dinner—usually with you, though evidently not so much lately. But most Sundays he stays behind after his last employee heads out for the night; locking up behind them, switching off the sign in the window to tell the world the shop is closed, and then holing himself up in his office to do some admin. He’ll grab a plate of whatever’s leftover from the day’s service and a cold can of beer from the fridge, put on a rerun of Atsumu’s game from the night before, and get to work shuffling through the paperwork that he’s left to pile up over the past seven days.

Osamu hates paperwork.

It’s not that it’s particularly challenging work—the really hard stuff is left to his bookkeeper after all. It’s just tedious, a mindless task in many ways, and he always finds his thoughts drifting as he sorts through invoices and inventory registers: catching himself being inattentive halfway through a spreadsheet, and having to force himself to go back to the beginning just to make sure he hasn’t missed anything in his carelessness. 

You used to help him with this kind of work, or at least keep him company while he got through it—sitting on the lumpy couch crammed into one corner of his little office and pretending like you weren’t asleep each time Osamu caught you with your eyes closed. More often than not, he’d throw his jacket over you to keep you warm while you napped and then rush through the last of his work so that he could wake you up and get you home. But just having you there on those late nights was enough for him; your presence was the thing that helped.

Coffee is his only saving grace, these days.

Samu shuffles out to the front of the shop on one such Sunday evening, taking off his baseball cap and ruffling the hair underneath tiredly. He’d finally gotten a trim, and he’s glad that things feel a bit more normal again as he rakes his fingers through it—his mother had been right when she remarked that it was getting too long the week before. He tosses his hat down on the front counter of Onigiri Miya, rounding the end to grab a sachet of instant coffee from behind the bar where he keeps his emergency stash.

The overhead lights in the shop are off, but there’s enough brightness filtering out from the still-lit kitchen that he doesn’t need to struggle to see as he prepares himself some hot water to add to the mug in front of him. He tips the granulated contents of his instant coffee sachet into the bottom after ripping it open with his teeth, tapping the empty plastic packaging against the edge of the cup to make sure it all comes out. The kettle behind him hums quietly as it heats to boiling, and Osamu sighs, leaning back against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest.

He stares out at the restaurant—his restaurant, as hard as he still finds it to believe some days—his gaze sweeping over the tables with their corresponding chairs resting atop them. One of the staff had mopped the floors at the end of the night, which left them still slightly wet and glistening. There’s light filtering in through the front windows from the streetlights and the other shops that line the Osaka street outside, and their glow catches in the water that hasn’t yet dried from the tile.

Osamu’s eyes suddenly snap up to the glass that lines the front of the restaurant.

There’s a silhouetted figure—so familiar he could trace it even with his eyes closed, from memory alone—standing on the other side of the door.

Osamu blinks, thinking that the paperwork must have finally gotten the best of him, or maybe that the beer he’d had earlier is inexplicably hitting him too hard. But no matter how many times he squeezes his eyes shut, the familiar shape stays where it is on the other side of the glass each time he opens them again.

His heartbeat thumps, loud and wet, in his ears.

Like the shot of a gun, the man stumbles gracelessly into action: loping around the end of the bar and slipping slightly on the wet tile as he heads towards the door. He fiddles with the lock as he struggles to unlatch it, accidentally trying to force it the wrong way in his haste before eventually getting it right. When he finally throws open the door, a gust of cool night air flooding into the restaurant along with it, he takes in a deep, gasping breath.

“Hey.”

His voice is shaky when he greets you—mostly air and very little shape to the word.

You stare at him from a few paces away, your arms crossed firmly over your chest and a frown tugging down the corners of your mouth. Osamu thinks you look pretty when you’re mad. He always has. But it’s worse now because he knows all too well that he shouldn’t—because he knows you’re mad at him. 

You seem to have something to say, he can tell as much from the almost spiteful glint in your eyes, but you stay tightlipped as you simply stare at him.

“D’ya… wanna come in?” Osamu asks, still holding the door open. He nods his head back into the shop. “Still got some stuff prepped, I could make ya—“

“You’re a jerk.”

Osamu blinks, taken aback.

“Yeah,” he agrees plainly after a moment, thinking it’s only fair of you to say given then circumstances. 

His concurrence only seems to upset you more.

“Like, you’re a real asshole, y’know that?” You’re nearly spitting you’re so angry, your features twisted up in contempt. Your arms uncross and drop down to your sides, and Osamu watches as your hands ball into fists. He’s the one who taught you how to throw a punch, years and years ago now, and he’s wondering if he’s about to experience a practical demonstration of his teaching abilities firsthand.

“I don’t necessarily disagree.” He nods, agreeing with you once more, though this time his response is slower, more hesitant—not because he doesn’t mean it, but because he’s not sure that it’s what you want to hear.

“Ugh!” Your following exclamation is loud, and palpably frustrated, all but confirming his suspicions. “You…!”

Your tone is climbing with every passing second, and Osamu looks furtively up and down the road around the two of you. It’s late in the evening but there are still a few people out, and he sees heads turning in your direction at the commotion.

“Hey,” he says, his own voice dropping in volume but still pleading all the same. “My name’s on the door and we’re gettin’ some weird looks. I wanna hear everythin’ you have to say, but could you please just say it to me inside?”

You look at him blankly, your lips puckering into a petulant, unhappy pout. You seem like you want to say no, to keep causing a scene, and for a second Osamu really thinks you’re about to round in on him again. Instead you trudge forward, stomping past him over the threshold of Onigiri Miya.

Osamu hesitates for a moment after you pass, half in shock and half in relief, and then he lets the door swing closed and locks it behind him for good measure—he’s not sure he wants any unsuspecting people coming in search of onigiri and stumbling upon a brawl.

It’s dim in the restaurant when he turns to face you, but he can still see your fury burning in the dark.

Neither of you say anything.

“You can keep goin’ if you want,” Osamu is eventually the first to speak, and he means what he says. This is the least of the punishment he deserves, after all. And hearing you yell at him is markedly better than the silence.

“Martyrdom doesn’t suit you at all,” you mutter sullenly.

Osamu sighs, scrubbing his hand over his face. “I just wantcha to say whatcha came here to say.”

You begin to pace as you work through your thoughts, slowly walking back and forth in front of the counter, picking at your cuticles. You’d put a fair amount of distance between the two of you, and he’s sure it was intentional. Osamu keeps himself confined to the entryway near the door, while you walk a path back and forth along the length of the service counter. His eyes follow every step you take, like a captivated child watching fish at the aquarium.

“I had a terrible dream last night,—” you finally force the words out, your feet stilling against the shiny tile as your pacing comes to a sudden halt.

Osamu decides to just do the right thing and shut the hell up for once, giving you the floor.

“—I was going to buy 30 kilos of rice from Kita-san’s farm—”

That’s a lot of rice, Osamu wants to note, but his lips part to let the words through and then he decides better of it.

“—and I was there, at the farm, and then Kita-san started telling me that you got married and had a baby. A baby, Samu! Kita-san standing there telling me all these terrible things with that big bag of rice in my hands, and I couldn’t even get mad at him because he’s Kita! So I just had to listen to him go on and on and on about the venue and the flowers and the baby name that you picked out. And the more he’d tell me the worse it was, and the bag of rice just kept getting heavier.” Your teeth bite down so hard into your lip as you suck in a breath that Osamu's amazed he doesn’t see blood. “I was hearing all of these things—terrible things—and all I could think was that I should have been there to see all of that for myself. I shouldn’t have been hearing about it from someone else. And I realized that you were living a whole life apart from me, a life that I didn’t know about or get to be a part of, and it just kept getting worse and worse and I woke up and I felt like I was going to scream.”

You’re out of breath by the time you finish your rambling thought, your chest heaving and your eyes wild and your mouth faintly wet. You look to him, and Osamu doesn’t see that same indignation in your eyes anymore, only hurt. He watches as the expression hardens again, whets itself like a blade—sharpened not in anger, but rather in resolve. In resignation.

“That day. I looked for you first.”

Osamu feels lost now. Are you still talking about that dream?

You understand without him saying it, and explain yourself further. “In high school. The day that I kissed Suna.”

Osamu’s stomach drops, all of the blood rushing to his head so quickly that the shop begins to spin a little around him. He can hear his pulse in his ears. He can feel it in his throat. He can’t help the twist of jealousy in the pit of his stomach, writhing and ugly though it may be, at the mere mention of his friend’s name. He doesn’t have the right to feel the way he feels, but it happens all the same.

“I looked for you,” you keep going, like you’ve broken a seal and have to let it all out. Osamu doesn’t dare try to stop you. He couldn’t even if he wanted to. He watches on like it’s a conversation that’s happening not with him but rather to him. “You were eating lunch with Tsumu in your classroom. I realized he would have had a fit if he knew that I was asking you and not him. I thought about asking him but…”

Osamu can’t feel his fingers from how tightly his hands are balled into fists at his side. His lungs burn in his chest—the breath he’s holding having long since lost the oxygen his body needs, though he can’t seem to draw in another.

“If it wasn’t you, I didn’t care who it was. So I asked Suna.”

The young man processes your words slowly. Incompletely. Like only every third word seems to register.

“Ya wanted me to be yer first kiss?” It’s not the question he ought to ask you but it’s the one his brain chooses to spit out.

Your reply is frustrated, but with an unmistakably melancholic rasp running through it. “Yeah. I did.”

Somewhere distantly, Osamu recognizes a sharp, stinging pain. An ache as part of him realizes that it could have been him. All along. All this time. Him. But the pain is muted, because part of him—most of him—still doesn’t quite understand.

“I think that was the first time I realized it.” 

Osamu watches your face, maps the achingly familiar lines and dips and curves of your features as he tries to read meaning in the space between your words. But he still finds nothing.

“I liked you, Samu. More than I should have. Differently than I liked Tsumu, or Suna, or any other guy.” You laugh, but it’s a hollow, watery sound. “I realized it and it was awful.”

You’re waiting for him to say something, but Osamu is at a loss for words. No, that’s not quite it either. It’s not that he has nothing to say, but that he has everything he wants to say to you. To ask you. But he doesn’t know where to start, or how to sort through them, or even how to will his lips, teeth, and tongue to shape any of them.

“You… Y’know ya don’t have to say this,” his voice is tight, like a rope drawn to secure a knot not unlike the one in his throat, when he finally manages to speak. “Ya don’t have to pretend or convince yourself that you… felt the same as me. I care about ya too much to ever ask that.”

You laugh—a single, sharp, distinctly mirthless ha!—as you throw your hands up in exasperation. “There you go again not letting me have any say, Samu!” You punctuate your exclamation with a frustrated little sound. “Stop deciding things all on your own and just listen to me.”

That shuts him up again.

“I thought I was over it,”—you begin to pace once more, your steps slow and measured—“I really did. I told myself it would never happen and moved on because I never ever wanted to fuck things up between us. Between any of us.

“You told me that you’ve loved me your whole life, but you don’t know if or when something changed. I do. I had a singular moment that I could point to where I realized that if I did or said the wrong thing after that, I could fuck up something that meant more to me than anything else in the world. Even if you felt the same way I did, there’s no guarantee that something like that would work out. But if we tried and it didn’t work, we wouldn’t be able to just go back to how things were. So I told myself that no matter what I wouldn’t. No matter how hard it was or how awful it felt. I could get over it if it meant I never had to lose you. And it was fine. For years it was fine. We were fine. Everything was fine. And then I lost you anyway.”

You suddenly stop pacing and crouch down, your arms winding themselves around your knees as if to comfort yourself. 

“That night, when you…” You swallow, and risk a glance up at him. “I don’t think I’m over it.”

Osamu feels like he might die. Maybe he did already. Maybe this is his life passing before his eyes, because it’s always been you anyway.

“But it’s scary, Samu,” your voice is so small, so vulnerable, when you speak to him again. You’re trembling as you hold yourself. “Aren’t you scared?”

Osamu is suddenly reminded of that fall day in the woods, so many years ago now. Reminded of two kids who didn’t know what they were doing. Who didn’t know anything. But who knew each other.

Slowly, Osamu crouches too—his joints cracking in protestation as he drops his body down to your level. Your eyes never leave his.

“Yeah,” he says, after a moment. Soft but sure. “‘Course I am.”

You let out a soggy, incredulous laugh, but it somehow doesn’t feel out of place. He watches as you reach up and scrub at your eyes.

“I love you,” Osamu says, because it’s true. Because there’s no other words he can possibly think to say in this situation. Because it’s the only thing that he has in his mind.

You look over at him, sniffling a little, wiping at your running nose with the back of your hand in a way that Osamu absolutely should not find as endearing as he does. “How can you just say it like that? Like it’s so easy?”

Osamu wants to laugh too, like you did earlier, but he worries that the sound might come off as almost hysterical thanks to the misplaced hope he can feel simmering in the pit of his stomach. “Sayin’ it’s the hard part, that’s why it took me so long. But I’ve spent forever lovin’ ya. S’always been the easiest bit.”

You choke back a sob, your head hanging defeatedly as your body slackens. You’re a ghost of the angry little thing that was outside of his door only a few minutes earlier, but more yourself now than Osamu has seen you in weeks.

“What about you?” he poses the question so quietly he might worry you didn’t hear him if not for how silent the dark shop is around you both.

“What do you mean?” You know what he means. He knows you know what he means. You’re stalling, trying to buy yourself time that’s run out now.

“Do you love me?” he asks, praying to anyone who’s listening that he’s been a good enough man up until this point to deserve the answer that he wants to hear more than anything else in the world.

“Of course I do,” you say evasively, refusing to meet his gaze. But it’s not the same. It’s not enough.

“But are you in love with me?” Osamu finally dares to ask.

There’s a stretch of the most painful, profound silence that either of you have ever experienced. It goes on for an eternity, though the clock hands in the corner say differently.

You still refuse to look at him, your gaze fixed instead to a point on the wall on the other side of the restaurant. Osamu watches how the light from the windows catches in the tears that cling to your bottom lashes.

“Yeah, I am,” you say, barely a whisper. You speak the confession like it’s the most terrifying thing imaginable. Like it's wretched.

And it is maybe, but Osamu’s never felt happier to hear anything in all his life—he feels a rush of something so visceral and elated flowing through him, he thinks he might pass out.

“Can I touch ya?” he asks hesitantly, his voice thick and unlike its normal tone. He hardly recognizes it as his own.

You peek over at him for the first time, and Osamu revels in the feeling of having your eyes on him. Delights in watching you watch him and knowing that behind the gaze is the same feeling as the one he holds inside of himself. You consider it for a moment, and he doesn’t dare rush you, but eventually—mercifully—you nod. 

Osamu inches forward slowly and wraps you in his arms. Your body relaxes into his hold instantly, and he pulls you into his lap on the tiled floor. He holds you so tightly that he’s scared he might break you, but he still can’t find it in himself to be more delicate. You cling to him anyway.

It’s the first time he’s touched you in months, but every inch of you is still known to him. Still familiar in every way that matters. You smell the same. You feel the same. You’re soft and warm just like always. Osamu buries his face into the crook of your neck, and your fingers eventually lift to play with the hair at his nape. He holds you, and holds you, and holds you more—sating a thirst that’s been building for longer than the time the two of you have been apart.

And you let him.

You hold him too, in the same way.

“If I kiss ya, you gonna cry again?” Osamu asks you quietly after a while, his lips brushing against your throat as he murmurs the words.

You snort, your fingers twisting into the material of his t-shirt at his shoulders. Osamu peels himself away from you and looks up, and finds that your faces are so close. Too close, in any other circumstance.

His palm lifts, cupping your cheek in his hand, running his thumb against the smooth skin underneath.

“Shut up, Samu,” you say, a little smile twisting up the corner of your mouth.

And Osamu happily obliges by pressing his lips to yours.

[atinyniki]

i hate you.

group: tomorrow x together !

pairing: non idol!huening kai x f!reader

genre: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, suggestive

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, misunderstandings, love confessions, crying, kissing, a little suggestive at the end, friends to lovers, insecurities.

authors note: thought of this scenario after my friend of like four years told me they hated me as a joke </3 sorry if its not angsty enough lmfao :P this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 1255

he throws another pillow, but this time it hits you straight in the face. you giggle, throwing one back at him, but he dodges it.

“ugh! i hate you”

“i know.”

“what…?”

“i said i know.”

your eyes widen in surprise, your heart clenching in your chest. “kai…”

he looks back up at you, completely disheveled from the pillow fight that took place seconds earlier.

everything is still a mess, the sheets are ruined, there’s pillows absolutely everywhere, yet the only thing you can stare at is him.

“what do you mean…?”

you stand at the foot of the bed, still completely shocked by the sudden shift in the atmosphere. only seconds ago you were giggling with him, whacking him with your pillows and screaming in delight.

yet now, it’s as if everything has changed by the sudden confession. you stare back into his teary eyes, and you realize that he means it.

“i don’t know… you just always say it…”

“yeah but— i mean it in a playful way…”

he sighs, the tears finally spilling over his waterline. “how was i supposed to know…”, he whispers.

if you weren’t paying attention, you doubt you would have even heard his voice. you take a deep breath, sitting across from him at the other end of the bed.

“i say it all the time, kai.”

“i know…”

and it all makes sense now. every time you’ve said it, though in a playful manner, his mood has changed.

sometimes he goes quiet. sometimes his smile fades, and sometimes the happiness is sucked out of him. and it’s your fault.

“so every time i’ve said it—”

“yeah”

“kai… why didn’t you tell me?”

he doesn’t feel the need to answer your question, instead asking you something else.

“did i do something?”

“what?”

please don’t say he thinks it his fault.

“you say it a lot…”

“kai… i say that to everyone. i promise. why didn’t you tell me…?”

he doesn’t answer, only tilting his head down further. he doesn’t want you to see him in such a vulnerable state, even though he’s your best friend. 

you scoot closer towards him, pushing the hair out of his face. the second you touch him, he bursts into tears, a loud sob escaping his lips before he could stop it.

“oh kai… i’m so sorry.”

you bring up an arm wrap him in a hug, but he shrugs it off.

“d-don’t touch me…”

you instantly retract your hand, the situation suddenly becoming awkward. before you can say anything, he butts in again.

“i’m sorry… it’s not your fault. i shouldn’t act that way towards you.”

he tentatively inches his hand towards yours, linking your pinkies together. you take the chance to lace your fingers together.

“do you like me, y/n?”

“i love you kai, you’re my best friend…”

“why have you never said that to me before…?”

you furrow your brows in confusion. surely you’ve told him you loved him, right?

“im sure i have at least—“

“no, you haven’t.”

your head drops down, staring at the place next to you where your hands connect. “i’m sorry, kai. i really do love you.”

“i love you too. i sometimes think i love you too much. my friends think im in love with you. i think i am too.”

“what?”

“no. i know im in love with you. i know im in love with you because of how painful it is. how much it hurts. it hurts to know you will never see me the way i see you. it hurts because i feel like ive lost someone that i’ve never had in the first place. everything hurts, y/n. but i’ll love you just the same…”

he doesn’t even notice that he’s crying until he feels the droplets trickle down his neck. it wasn’t really a planned confession, but he didn’t know how much longer he could hold back.

“kai.”

he continues staring at his lap, not wanting you to see him like this. 

you bring a hand up to cup his cheek, and you fix his gaze towards you. his eyes are focusing on everything except you.

“kai. look at me.”

another tear slips from his eye, and you swipe it away with your thumb. 

“c’mere…”

“really? even after—“

“kai.”, you repeat, a little sternly.

he scoots closer to you, and you finally wrap your arms around him. it makes him cry even more, but he doesn’t try to stop himself anymore. 

you kiss the top of his forehead, and he quickly jerks his head towards you. you smile, wiping the remaining tears off of his face.

“y/n…”

“before i say anything, i need you to calm down, okay?”

he nods, finally getting his breathing back to normal. small whimpers leave his lips as he hugs you tighter, and your heart cracks with each sound.

“i love you, kai. i really do. i wish id told you sooner, maybe you could have avoided all this pain. i know it’s a little backwards, but you’re the light of my life. even the simple things you do make me a lot happier than i’ve been able to express…”

“so… what are you saying?”

“i’m in love with you too, kai.”

he looks back up at you, planting a kiss on your jaw. “you mean it?”

“i mean it with all of my heart. i love everything about you, kai. and i mean everything. your eyes, your smile, your voice, your heart. anything you can think of…”

he smiles at you again, the tears finally coming to a halt. “why didn’t you tell me?”

“i’m terrified. i’m terrified of what’s to come, and i didn’t want to ruin anything between us either…”

he quickly pulls you onto his lap, smoothing down the small hairs sticking up from your scalp. it feels oddly intimate, and you can’t help but smile.

“it will be scary, i know. but will you take a chance? with me…?”

“what if it doesn’t end well?”

“then it doesn’t end well, there’s nothing else we can do. but if i don’t try i know i will regret it forever…”

you find yourself staring into his eyes for way too long, and your heart flutters in your chest. you have a choice to make.

the answer is quite obvious.

“kai… can i do something?”

“anything.”

you lean down, pressing your lips to his. they slot together perfectly, like a lock and a key. it takes him a second before he kisses you back, still taken aback by the sudden action.

he places his hands on your waist as you pin him against the headboard, now impossibly close. it takes a while for you to pull away, the feeling is too addicting.

“i—“

“before anything, i need you to promise that you’ll be completely honest with me, okay? tell me if i’m hurting you, or if you’re uncomfortable. i don’t want you to feel this way ever again…”

“i promise…”

you notice the way his cheeks go red from your touch, and you place another kiss to his forehead.

“awh, baby… you’re so cute”

“hey! i’m not cute… i’m just happy. i really thought you hated me…”

you kiss over his neck, flustering him even more. the crimson color spreads to his collarbone as well, and you giggle.

he holds onto your waist to ground you, his breathing getting heavier. slowly, you lower yourself onto him again, making him groan. 

“sounds like i have a lot to make up for then, hm?”

<3

[akielzx]

Hello, May I request a onshot including cuddles with Johann Chu at night? Ty. <3

YESYESY I LVOE JOHANN VERRY MUCH, OUR 'ROBOT' BOYYY also HELP IM SORRY I FORHOT I HAD THIS IN MY DRAFTS

bro i'm so sorry i had this in my drafts i think for a month, i'll then write the other submission later :sob:

maybe i just wanna be yours ！✦

＃；oneshot, johann chu x reader

tags // just tad bit spoiler (the info abt shavee in the chat n all and only that i think, maybe also abt his dad), comfort, slight misunderstanding but it's fine in the end, understandings, johann bby muah muah, also johann might be a bit ooc so bear with me, this is kinda long [keyword: kinda]

johann chu wasn't the one to be expressive of his feelings, and understand his feelings. hence why he felt bemused about [name], they certainly made a huge imprint on him.

yet shavee had also had an impact on him. but [name]'s case was slightly different. even if he had missed an opportunity to have her, it was okay now. he was healing a bit.

when they were chatting and johann had slipped this information to [name] and some other emotional turmoil, he yet puts training first once again.

nonetheless, all was well in the end. it was night and johann thought of something. [name] was doing quite well in their training, but he heard from a little birdy that they weren't quite doing well in draconic history.

maybe stress was getting to them? either way, as their senior, he felt obligated to help them out. it wasn't in a negative light, but he somehow felt like it.

as they were conversing, he then brought up their history course. [name] surprisingly did mention how they were struggling to understand a little and he offered to help them.

they asked where the both of them should go and he bluntly said at his dorm. [name] was confused at first why they wouldn't be doing it at the library.

he simply said it might be a bit troublesome for them as to referring to the girls that swooned over him, even if some girls do have self-control, he still didn't want to risk it.

and he wanted to spend more time with [name] not in training. he wanted to know more about them. miscellaneous things would suffice.

as the day passed, it was finally the time they decided to meet up that johann proposed. he asked [name] to meet him at the basketball court so he could escort them to his dorm.

when they finally came, he started to escort [name]. it was a bit awkward at first, given how the girls they passed by would look at them in envy.

[name] would try and flip them off by either going to scratch their cheek, getting something out of their eyes, or tucking their hair behind their ear using the middle finger.

but johann caught on and said that it doesn't matter and just ignore them for the best. they slightly grumbled, but begrudgingly complied as he is their senior and they didn't want to hear a lecture from a certain someone.

johann sighed, slightly amused but it went unnoticed. as soon as they entered the lionheart's club base, there susie was. she exchanged words with johann until she spotted [name].

she then asked if they were going to join, but johann answered for [name] that they were just looking around and dismissed susie. that made them confused, but thankful either way for their senior for answering for them.

he then led [name] to his dorm, and there they both discussed where they were struggling a bit. they shyly confessed that even tho they could've said that they would just research it, they were thankful for his help.

they can, but it was much more understandable if someone was there teaching it because they could get their possible unanswered questions answered.

johann nodded understanding. it is preferred that most should have a study group so there's a chance someone knows the subject they're studying and can answer simple questions.

as time passed, [name] started to understand more. they scribbled in their notebook while listening to johann. "so.. only the light king, priest- 'inazami' possessed equal power to nidhogg?"

johann nodded, confirming the statement was true, [name] scribbled again and continued, "but she also failed to rebel and renounce his position.. right?"

"yes. you are correct, i must say i am impressed by you..- not only you are quite the fast learner when we train, but also a good listener." [name] scratched their head a bit, "eh.. haha. it's just that i- wait no, you're a good guide and tutor is all.."

'and i like hearing your voice..' [name] felt a bit awkward and looked at the time, it was getting a bit late. they then start to stand up from their comfortable position.

johann was a bit confused at this sudden action, he still wanted to ask some questions. the not-too-personal ones. he couldn't think straight this time and grabbed [name]'s wrist.

"where.. are you going?"

[name]'s eyes widened a bit and looked at him.

"johann?"

his grip on [name] wavered a bit, his action seemingly getting him off-guard. he then loosened his grip and backed away. he pondered about something.

"..i don't know what this feeling is… i feel a sense of euphoria when i see you or… sometimes everything's better when you're here."

"huh?" [name] looked at him dumbfoundedly.

"i'm really glad you're here, but at the same time, i'm not because i'm scared. i'm scared i might lose you too."

"johann senpai? what are you-"

"i hope you know how much you mean to me. i wish you could see in you what i see in you."

[name]'s eyes widen at the sudden statement. they stood in their place shocked. "i… i don't understand you johann.." they ask, their brows furrowing in confusion.

"i don't either. but.."

"i'll hear you out on this. but i don't want it to be too long."

"..why?"

"…"

johann looked at [name] in anticipation, yet they stayed quiet. he asked once again, and [name] suspired.

"because… i don't want to make more assumptions and fall harder."

"why would you fall harder..?-"

"johann senpai, i've had harboured feelings for you. it feels off sometimes. i don't know if- if it's okay given your circumstance and mine."

he looked at [name] expectantly, yet stunned. he didn't expect his junior to also like him. but his brows furrowed. when [name] decided to speak once more, as he had an unanswered question.

"it's not just an infatuation i have for you, it's not just any epitome that i admire. but the way, you are you senpai. i've never loved anyone the way i love you before..''

[name] then took a deep breath before continuing.

"i'd accept your flaws in any way possible, i'd try and understand you better with how you act and maybe i understand.. but i don't. i don't understand how you feel about me. i appreciate you for you-"

"and i do too."

the sudden intervention has [name] stunned. they decided to look at johann, just to see him furrowing his eyebrows. his grasp went back to [name]'s wrist and slightly pulled them closer, but not harshly.

"i like spending time with you. it's nice. i feel calmer when i’m with you. it’s weird. i never thought i could feel like this, but you showed up. now, it’s like i don’t wanna go on knowing i might lose the feeling. and i might end up losing you."

[name]'s hands slightly quivered as his voice wavered. he felt their hands slightly shaking and he held it with the hand he grasped their wrist with.

"..are you okay [name]?.."

[name]'s breath hitches for a bit before taking a deep breath from their mouth and shaking their head, "yeah.. i'm- i'm fine johann."

"no. you aren't fine, did.. did i say something wrong perhaps..?"

johann squeezed their hand gently and rubbed circles on it, this action made [name] tense but relaxed a bit after they snapped out of their trance.

"wha- no!- no, you didn't. i just-"

johann took both of [name]'s hands and held them close to his chest, making the both of them close to each other, but not too close.

"i'm sorry if that caught you off-guard. i just couldn't-"

he was cut off as [name] hugged him and nuzzled their head close. they hummed to themselves and hugged him tighter,

"i like spending time with you too.."

"..then spend the night with me"

"of course."

-

ok bro i know that wasnt really cuddling but man idk :sob: thats all you get please accept it p;ease. im beiggin you

[starshifter]

I forgot the notes for 4 when I posted it 😭 So here they are, a little bit late

-

It actually bothers me a little bit that I’m not sure if DH’s “horns” are in fact horns rather than antlers. He doesn’t seem to shed them though, so??? Horns, probably

DH has NO idea what he’s doing here, but he’s doing his best anyways. This nerd has never romanced in his life, and I doubt he’s read much romance either between all his instruction manuals and history books lmao. He’s looking to Blade for cues and that’s…. Well… They’re trying, ok? Give them a gold star for effort or something.

On that same topic (sort of), DH kept his memories of how to fight between bodies, so I imagine the same thing applies to kissing. Once he relaxed, he fell right back into doing what his body already knew. So Blade is getting jealous of himself, basically lmao

Is it meditation? Is it dissociation? Does Blade even know the difference or care? We just don’t know. Get this man into therapy, stat

You might think that Blade would be very reserved about showing affection. However, I am here to tell you that this isn’t true. He would joyfully be that disgusting PDA couple if you gave him half a chance. Dan Heng is the one who doesn’t want to show his emotions that openly. He get embarrassed easily when emotions are involved lol

…okay true confession, I didn’t like Firefly at all when we first met her. I didn’t get what was up with her or why we connected with her so fast when she appeared under shady circumstances. It wasn’t until I saw the rumors that she was Sam that I really sat up and took an interest. It added a fuck ton of dimension to her character and then they threw in NGE references and a tragic backstory and I was a goner. She’s now one of my favorite characters. Go figure. (Hilariously, a friend of mine experienced the exact opposite journey. We have very different taste in characters lmao) I lost the fifty-fifty on her first run, but I will not miss her this time! I won’t! Please come home baby girl. I don’t quite have a guarantee yet but I’m close :sobbing: I’d like to use the extra wishes for her lightcone and Fugue but… Firefly precedence

The giant ice worm is based on deep sea bristle worms cause im honestly a little obsessed with them. I’m kinda thinking of a sandworm tbh (the irl ones that kinda look like extra spiky millipedes, tho the ice worms are the size of the dune ones so…). But you can imagine a normal worm if you want lol

Blade’s still adjusting to being allowed back in Dan Heng’s space. The only thing that’s gotten him there in the past is force and extreme persistence. Give him some time to realize Dan Heng isn’t leaving again and he’ll mellow out. He’ll always be a little possessive, but he’s not the type to distrust his partners or try to control them. Honestly, I expect that he’s really doting and supportive. …Or at least Yingxing was. Blade will have a harder time, though it will still bleed through in less overt ways.

I choose to believe that DH is way more of a nerd than DF. Not because DF didn’t want to be a nerd, but because he was so busy that he didn’t have the time to pursue so much random knowledge. DH is free to do whatever, so he ultra nerds out. This is why Blade is a little blindsided by just how nerdy he is.

I had to have Stelle break the fourth wall at least once. They give me the option to do that in game enough that it’s actually perfectly in character. (at least she does one thing in this fic that I am confident is in character sobs)

I’m over here staring at this battle team I have assembled and laughing at just how terribly it would work in game. They’re all such selfish DPS and two of them sacrifice their own health; they could never be an effective team together. No wonder the fight ended the way it did lmao. Bibi is the glass canon to end all glass canons. He always dies first… Unless Pela eats all the aggro first, but she’s not here. Oh no. Bibi, Bibi, look out, you’re the only damage sponge. Oh god, he’s wearing earpods. He can’t hear us. Oh fuck

Also, what if there was a boss fight where attacking the boss did damage back to you? Kinda like giving the enemies quake damage. Would that be fucked up or what? (no one tell hoyo this idea. I would cry if they did this. I already have sustain issues cause I only have Aventurine for good sustains)

Blade broke his spine because one time I had a nightmare that I hit my head and became completely paralyzed. I was stuck in the living room listening to my roommates move about in the hallway and couldn’t call for help while I knew I was dying and it fucked me up. So I gave Blade the experience :))

I have no fucking clue how the Trailblazers get from the express down to the surface of planets without the Express landing. Dan Heng said they “smashed a hole though Taikiyan Stadium” so I don’t think it involves teleporting or a regular shuttle… So some sort of escape pod that also can return was my solution.

Also, I genuinely believe that Blade has no fucking clue what Welt’s name is, so he’s just repeating what the others are using but without the mr cause he knows he’s older than this guy lol

I debated whether Welt or Himeko should be doing the medical work, but Himeko’s specialty seems to be machines while Welt has his whole Herscherr of Knowledge(?) thing, so I thought he might be the better choice here? i don't know anything about hi3....

The doctor they called was originally gonna be Natasha cause I really like her, but then I remembered Lingsha and realized they would definitely call her first since she would know the most about treating Vidyadhara (also I wasn’t sure if Nat would have holo calls…I know they’ve rejoined the galaxy and all, but their tech still is kinda far behind…)

[quitealotofsodapop]

Do you have any Enforcers ship specific hcs? Because I ship those 3 together and I love that Ratso is this big intimidating looking dude with 'scary dog privilege' when he's in fact the nicest one out of those three, and Chow and Finn are more likely to fuck you up because they're both feral and out for blood

1: It took them like, moving in together, working for years, and saving eachother from supernatural mayhem for any of them to realise; "Oh shit, Im in love with them both???"

Ratso was the first to address his feelings head on. Chow and Finn are the type to let feelings fester silently. Ratso brought up the thought of romantic feelings during a quiet night at the apartment. Chow and Finn immediately unraveled when they learned that the others felt the same. Spiderman pointing meme of feelings.

After confessions, things are notably more relaxed between the three. Ratso is a very physically affectionate person, and forgets sometimes that kissing your homies might draw attention at work. Finn meanwhile reciprocates at 200% - you dont just kiss this man and walk away. Chow is a little reserved pda wise cus any physical affection activates a full-body blush and heart-eyes.

Finn is the one who serenades the other two. Like he'll feel sappy one day and pull out the ol' guitar. The other two are ridiculously flattered.

Chow and Finn cant cook lol. Ratso mostly does day-to-day cooking. They still tried baking him something on his birthday. Ratso cried in appriciation.

Their nephews found out on accident (always knock first before coming into their apartment, kids), and they are delighted cus it gives them an excuse to all hang out together. The kids start refering to eachother as Cousins after a while.

Their respective families react differently. Chow isnt really in contact much with his parents so he says nothing to them, though his brother sends him a thumbs up of support when he hears about it from Charlie. Finn lets it slip while talking with one of his sisters and within 3 hours the whole bloodline knows. Finn turns his phone on silent for the rest of the week until they all calm down. Ratso's mom knew he was gay, and sobbed so happily that he found someone. His mom was a little confused that he was dating two people mutually, but she proudly refers to Finn and Chow as her "future-son-in-laws".

Valmont... doesnt care?? He's gay too, big whoop that his henchmen are together. He a little jealous cus he hasnt had a romance in literal years.

The Chan Clan are supportive. Torhu knew they were a thing even before they did. Tohru: "I know. Why are you announcing it now? Wait... is there a wedding? CAN I BE BEST MAN?!". The trio spend the rest of the visit talking down an emotionally excited Torhu and Jade.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Yuki’s LN was actually a sob story omg THE DOG WAS SO CUTEEE omg I hope he adopts a dog someday in the future bro did NOT think that scuffle through but omg just shows how selfless he is…

LMAOO FR!! I mean if I really had to rank then yeah I TECHNICALLY have a fav but if you really asked me to choose between faves I probably wouldn’t be able to still even though some are technically ranked “higher” than others

No because Rin giving old vibes /hj in a different way than Aiku LMAOO wait I would pay to see Barou captain that’d be really funny “YOU DONKEYS GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!!!!!”

Oh yeah I’ve not dipped my toes in AoT at all so that makes sense LOL

LMAOOOO OMG DO IT (imagine a double date but in the end y/n talks more to his sister and yuki than to him LMFAO)

No definitely as I went back and did the formal translation he was 6 and the sister should’ve been 9 by their description of her being 3 years older so?? Not even double digits (BRUH THE REO ONE IS DIABOLICAL??? WDYM A GROWN ASS ADULT WAS CONFESSING TO BASICALLY A LIKE 7 YEAR OLD HSHDSHSHSH)

GRAND AGE OF SIX AT 5K WORDS ok so if we do the math…. 2k at 4, 5k at 6, 3k word difference per 2 years, 1.5k words per year. Assuming this ends up at 20 year old Karasu that means we still have 14 years to go. 14 x 1.5k is 21k. Therefore, the new ballpark is now 21k /j (if this math is wrong um…no it isn’t!!! /j) im assuming we wouldn’t be seeing every single year in between so this is probably a bit overboard anyways LOL

No wait I love seeing childhood moments because they’re honestly so important for shaping who someone turns out to be?? OOHUU IM LOVING IT “I only see you as a child” angst progression

Nagi does NOT see the sun bro needs some vitamin d for his pasty ass…/j but FR I’m devouring these Karasu crumbs also I’ve noticed Otoya’s hair has been slightly more silver leaning! I’m pretty certain it’s still supposed to be relatively white, but typically in digital art using like pure white usually isn’t as great because it leaves less possibilities in terms of lighting and coloring so that might be why..? The version of him in the game also isn’t like pure white white so I’m wondering if that’s the case (also mixed with the sort of darker kinda color tone of s2) so I don’t think it’d be wrong to refer to it to white still! The (little) merch floating around of him also has his hair basically white so. No because not even a SLIVER of his hairline like yeah I know it’s my man’s chin but would it kill you to show his face?? No fr I was wondering why Otoya too….like I know that Karasu is more popular than him…and also Hiori too?? I’m hoping that just means we’re getting a cracked trailer with a full screen of Karasu’s face next time

The more I read the more I was like did they just craft the perfect man??? I loved the scene with the dog so much it was too cute like wdym his first practice buddy was a dog??? That was a rollercoaster and honestly probably one of my favorite LNs…I really like how they show the progression of his characters and actually kinda dig into his painful moments?? I think I need to reread everyone’s atp omg

-Karasu anon

I JUST FINISHED READING THE CHAPTERS YOU SENT IN OMG I’M BAWLING 😭 he’s so sweet fr…omg i hope he gets to retire and be happy one day with a dog and a family he truly deserves it

exactly like i have my top five but it’s always changing HAHAH there’s a couple mainstays but i’m so easily convinced to start liking new characters especially in shows like bllk which have such big casts that it’s inevitable you’ll be able to have a bunch of favs

aiku gives like uncle old vibes rin gives like cousin old vibes LMAOO that makes no sense but like aiku is just your weird uncle whereas rin is the cool cranky older cousin that you admire but all of the adult relatives hate because he has an attitude

aot is…something 😭 idk i was very very into it for a while and i really do appreciate and love the majority of it but i’m not a huge fan of how the ending was handled (not for the typical reasons people complain abt it i just think that some characters were let off too easily for what they did) and the fan base is INSANE. like peak no media literacy/critical thinking twelve year olds saying the craziest shit because they don’t realize that the actions of certain characters are meant to be condemned and not supported!! so i’ve drifted away from it now for the most part…a lot of the writing skills i have now i developed through trial and error with my aot fics though so i’ll always be grateful for that but i look back at it more as a fond memory/w nostalgia than anything

OKAYYY yayoyuki is now canon 🫡 (i named karasu’s sister yayoi hehe idk it just flowed well w tabito?? like yayoi and tabito sound like sibling names the same way seiko and eita do in my mind) actually lowkey i feel like that could kinda help the plot…the reader being like “wait why is your bf younger than you he’s literally your brother’s friend” and yayoi is like “bro it’s barely two years it’s not that deep” which makes reader be like “hmm…”

THE REO ONE IS INSANE. MY MAN IS A VICTIM AND NOBODY GAF?? ig it was supposed to show that people tend to value him for his money to the point that his teacher tried to get w him ostensibly because he’s a corporate heir…like narratively it makes sense but that should NOT have just been an egoist bible tidbit that was never expanded on?? iirc it’s not even mentioned in his light novel but that is so traumatic omg poor boy 😭

he’s still six and we’re at 6k words now if you want to adjust your estimate KDJISJ i am so scared of this fic i can just tell it’s going to be so long…we’re going to see karasu go from 4 to abt 20 and reader from 6 to abt 22 BYE why did i ever think i could fit all of that into “6-9k words��� i’m not even going to bother w reestimating atp just going to go w the flow and see what happens…should i withhold the wc updates so you can be surprised when i finally post or do you want to be prepared going into it 🤔

pretty much all of the story is their “childhood” though ofc it progresses and they get older and older…icl i have no idea how to write kids so there’s going to have to be some suspension of disbelief going on 😭 YESS the angst and pining (from karasu naturally) are so real!! i think it makes sense on both ends because on the one hand yeah two years isn’t a huge deal esp once you’re older but on the other it’s like…karasu this girl has seen you throw tantrums because your sister wouldn’t play w you why WOULD she find you attractive 😩

ENOUGH LMAOOO no but that’s def the reason because he’s paler than every other character and for sure it’s because he doesn’t touch grass 😓 i think it’s definitely more silver compared to like nagi’s hair but still very light/almost white!! maybe more of a cool/gray toned white versus nagi’s which leans towards cream/straight up show white most of the time!! and yeah ik in animation pure black and pure white tend to fall flat which is why a lot of black haired characters end up having greenish hair when animated!!

YKW I WOULD’VE BEEN HAPPY W THE ICONIC SMIRK AHHH like it would’ve made him seem a little villainous if we only saw the lower half of his face and it’s just him smirking but those in the know realize it’s just the karasu signature 😔🙏🏻 sassy smirk + fuck ass hair WE NEEDED ONE OF THE TWO and wait omg i forgot abt hiori (and nanase) maybe they’re trying to keep the more relevant characters secret and just using characters anime-onlies would recognize in the trailer (so like igaguri’s irrelevant ass) still doesn’t explain why otoya and kurona made it instead of the bambi osaka boys but uh maybe they were just easier to animate?? or maybe they went w otoya because he’s very distinctive (aka doesn’t have dark hair and blue eyes) so he stood out more than karasu might (i bet some people would’ve been like “why did zantetsu take off his glasses” or smth abt karasu lowkey)

NO LITERALLY yukimiya invented being the ideal guy nobody in bllk can compare…actually let’s just go ahead and say nobody in shounen can compare 😫 he was truly meant to be a shoujo male lead more than any other bllk character 😭 i agree i think the ln did such a good job at showing his progress and why he is the way he is!! his backstory is also super realistic too 💔 like the whole medical trauma thing…i hope he and chigiri don’t get the boot from the main cast because of their health issues i love both of them sm 😓 i rlly liked this ln too!! especially compared to hiori’s and nagi’s which are the two i’ve reread the most for fic purposes the tone felt a bit more serious and mature (considering half of hiori’s is him stalking karasu and 99% of nagi’s is him slacking off in school this makes sense) i’m excited to see how barou’s is!! and also aryu’s lol maybe i’ll be more into him after reading his backstory or smth

[oddaodd]

· Wailing Teapots ·

Summary: When Tommy begins suspecting of Y/n's true allegiances he goes and questions her in her apartment only to discover a dark secret. (Angst/Fluff)

Warnings: Implications of abuse. (Nothing too graphic but just in case).

Author's note: I'm back! It feels so good to write again! My life has been a bit hectic lately, but I hope I can continue to make time for my writing because it honestly feels like coming back home after the most exhausting of voyages. Anyhow I hope y'all enjoy this and have the loveliest of days. ❤️

·

Three strong knocks on the door stole Y/n’s attention from the live fire burning in her fireplace. With quiet feet she tiptoed to the door and placed her hand on the doorknob and stood still hoping to hear something that could tell her who it was behind the door, but she could only hear her own heartbeat beating violently in her ribcage as she held her breath.

She slightly hated herself for being afraid, but she couldn’t not be afraid, not with all the letters that had been delivered to her home.

“I know you’re in there Y/n”

As soon as she recognized the voice as Tommy’s, she finally breathed again before partly opening the door a weak smile gracing her features when she took in the sight of him. Before she could ask him what he was doing there he pushed the door open and allowed himself inside.

The smile vanished from her face in an instant and she quickly closed the door. There was something different about him, something that made the hairs on her arms stand up in trepidation. His eyes didn’t look like they had done a few nights prior when he took Y/n to the outskirts of town for a walk. The kind of walk in which one shares the kind of conversations that makes people grow closer together, the kind of walk which ends with a gentle kisses and fleeting touches.

“This is a nice place” he commented taking off his peaky cap, not even sparing Y/n a glance as he began walking slowly through the apartment which though small and plain held a considerable amount of expensive yet tasteful looking knick knacks that brightened up the whole place despite the old furniture that had beed there when Y/n first moved in.

“You couldn’t have waited for a formal invitation, could you?” She asked in a light tone still standing by the door, in the hope that it could change Tommy’s odd aura, but he ignored her question all together

“Almost too nice, wouldn’t you agree?” He asked picking up a vase and examining it before finally turning to look at Y/n.

“Tommy?” She asked, not really knowing why was he acting so strange.

“I know I pay you fair wages” he began, putting the vase down fixing his eyes on the fireplace where small traces of burnt paper rested “but I highly doubt you were able to make yourself of such an array of treasures with what I pay you.”

“All of this came with me from America.” She said feeling like she ought to explain herself and though her answer was an honest one, Tommy didn’t seem convinced, nevertheless, he hummed in mocking understanding before clearing his throat .

“Aren’t you gonna offer me tea?”

“Sure…where are my manners?” she said with a nervous laugh before walking to where her stove was and putting a kettle on.

Tommy followed her closely and drew a chair from her flimsy kitchen table before sitting down and taking notice of her shaky hands as she tied around a bit in the kitchen with her back to him as he sat on her favorite chair.

“Wish you had told me you were coming, I would have..”she began as she opened her pantry to put away some bread.

“You’ve been burning letters” he interrupted, not being able to shake off the image of the paper remains.

Y/n stilled for a moment before closing her pantry, thing which he noticed.

“Yeah, I don’t have the room to keep every single letter I get ” Y/n said, a defensiveness lingering softly in her words.

“I agree” Tommy said in a cold tone “specially when you are getting so many of them. Paul tells me he delivers at least 10 a week here” he continued, referring to the mailman who after being questioned by Tommy forgot all about post confidentiality.

“They are my mother’s” Y/n stuttered out.

The teapot then wailed, making her jump slightly before going to remove it from the stove and finally turning around to go and pour Tommy a cup.

“Right” Tommy said, his eyes not leaving Y/n’s figure as she poured the tea.

“Yeah, she’s ever so passionate about plants, been telling me all a-a-about her new greenhouse.” She continued pressured by Tommy’s heavy stare and silence.

Tommy offered a small cynical smile that Y/n didn’t see, she didn’t want to look at him. She felt like crying for she realized just then how suspicious she looked.

The sound of the chair being drawn again teased at Y/N’s ears, forcing her to look up at Tommy who was calmly walking towards her. She had never been afraid of him, but she couldn’t help but back away as he inched closer to her, her eyes widening.

“Who is Clyde Attenborough?” He asked producing another letter from his pocked like the many ones Y/n had been receiving for a while now. Same stamps and everything.

Color drained from her face at the sight of the letter and she found herself unable to produce an answer as her back came in soft contact with her pantry.

“What does he know? He asked.

“Where I live” Y/n whispered sorrowfully as a tear finally slipped down her cheek. Her eyes being for mercy.

“What have you been telling him?”

“Nothing” she answered truly.

“I bet he pays generously to know how the company works”

“I swear im not working for anyone else” Y/n stuttered, finally understanding why Tommy was so suspicious. Being his secretary, she knew plenty about the skeletons the family kept.

“Then why are you crying?” He pressed.

“Because you’re scaring me.”

Her words seemed to have an effect on Tommy for he immediately backed away, throwing the letter on the table, his back to her.

”I’m not gonna hurt you” he stated, beating himself up for corralling Y/n like that. His voice much less menacing than mere seconds ago. “Who is Clyde Attenborough?”

“I haven’t been honest with you” she finally confessed sniffing. To hell with everything.

At this Tommy turned around to look at her an unpleasant mix of emotions swimming in his eyes.

“Im married” she sobbed “Clyde’s my husband”

For the first time in a long time, Tommy was caught off guard.

“I came to Small Heath because I ran away from him, I figured he’d never find me but..” She said taking the letter in her shaky hands as if the thing were to blow off in any given second “I guess I was wrong. I-I don’t know how he found me”

She shifted her teary gaze from the letter to a shocked Tommy “I swear im not passing information” she chuckled sadly, the knot in her throat choking her a little.

Tommy stood glued in the same spot, not knowing what to do. His world had come crashing down when he began suspecting of Y/n’s alliances after Polly suggested he look into it. A pretty American girl, moving to a grey English town, taking up a job that was exhausting at best. It reminded him a little too much of Grace.

Now that he knew the truth , he didn’t feel any better.

“Is he dangerous?” He found himself asking after a few seconds of silence.

Y/n sniffed as she walked to her fireplace “I wouldn’t have left if he wasn’t” she said as she threw the letter into the crackling flames.

“Is he in Birmingham?”

“He keeps writing that he’ll come get me if I don’t go back, but im not sure” she answered.

Tommy fought the urge to go up to her and take her in his arms and instead put his peaky cap back on before heading for the door.

“I’m sorry” he whispered before stepping out of her place, The guilt of intimidating her in her own house gnawing at his insides and the newfound anger her husband created present on his drive home.

The next day Y/n noticed as she peeped out the window two men, both in peaky caps standing at the entrance of her apartment complex.

Three more days passed and Y/n was again surprised tby the sound of three knocks on her door as she read one evening.

“Its me, Y/N” Tommy’s voice flowed through the door shortly after the knocks.

Y/n quickly got off her couch and made her way to open the door. Her eyes falling on Tommy’s apologetic features.

“It’s dealt with” he said in all seriousness. The thick accent she loved so much vibrating through her ears.

As soon as she registered what Tommy had just said she let out a strained breath, her lips turned into a tired smile and a lone tear slipped out her misty eyes.

“Wanna come in?” She asked after a few seconds, feeling happier than she had felt for days.

“Is this a formal invitation?” He asked, a soft smile tugging at his lips, relieved that his antics from a few days prior hadn’t maimed Y/n´s trust.

At his question she just smiled, looking at him lovingly before taking hold of his hand and pulling him into her apartment before pressing her lips to his in a soft yer passionate manner. Without breaking the kiss, Tommy then closed the door.

·

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime @babylooneytoonz @lilymurphy03 @slytherinicequeen

[buckybarnesdiaries]

otchet o missii

© @wintersthighs

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

part one ⸺ part two ⸺ bonus

request made by anon: Hi Maria you beautiful person you please be my friend 🥺 I kinda have a request but if it doesn't speak to you then you don't have to write it, could you write something where reader is an enhanced/ mutant (kinda like Wanda or Jean Grey so like crazy powerful and dangerous) and Bucky just will not let the government get near her because he knows they'll probably experiment on her to make her a weapon cause they're sus like that? It can be romantic or platonic no preference, if ya want, please and thanks sorry this was so long

word count: 1.165 words.

warnings/tags: none. dad!bucky being overprotective with his baby soldier.

author notes: re-posted because tumblr deleted it for no reason. none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

“Soldat, stoy”.

(Soldier, stop).

Your eyes widened. Your heart raced. The time froze. That command clicked something in your brain, producing the spheres of flames concentrated on your palms to dwindle till disappearing. You had just one second to look around you, before turning at the firm tone of voice behind your back. You found yourself in the middle of Times Square, surrounded by different security forces, aiming at you with large-caliber weapons. Above your head, two helicopters were setting up a perimeter. The chaos spread around the long avenue. You didn't have an idea of how you ended up there, but you were scared like never before.

Turning slowly, your eyes landed on a pair of pale blue orbs. You didn’t notice the other people as a backup. A feeling of safety invaded you when he tilted his head confused, narrowing his eyes, trying to understand how it was possible that you were there. But before you could take a step closer to him, a twinge followed by an electric cramp shook your body. The last thing you heard before blacking out was an I got you, and a cold arm wrapping your abdomen.

BUCKY'S POV

Avengers Compound

06:03 pm, New York

“How do you know it’s not a trap set by Hydra?” Steve asked, reclining himself on his seat at the meeting table next to the rest of the Avengers.

“Because I trust her”. Bucky didn’t doubt replying, although he couldn’t understand why, hearing Stark clicking his tongue as he rolled his eyes.

“James, you don’t know her”. Natasha sighed, referring to the fact that being assassins together years ago meant nothing.

“I trained her. She owes me loyalty”.

“What’s that? Some kind of Stockholm Syndrome patented by Hydra?” Clint scoffed incredulously.

“Tell us what you know about her, Bucky. What you remember”. The captain asked his long-life friend, leaning on the table with both forearms rested against the edge of it.

The soldier gulped, deeply breathing, nodding his chin with his eyes lost somewhere on the dark oak. He explained how Vasily Karpov knew about you. An orphan with no family, no history, and a power of telepathy that allowed you to control the four elements as you pleased. Water, fire, earth, and air. From nowhere, your body could produce flames and throw them anywhere. Exactly the same you could do with water and air. Earth was different. Only by using your hands you could wild it as you want; creating earthquakes or holes, move it. The heroes around Bucky were stupefied. You were a potential danger.

Then, he told them about your skills. Karpov made him stay awake after killing Tony’s parents to train her. You were just a kid. And soon, you were a soldier with an angelic face who could kill anyone just by blinking your eyes. To tell the truth, the Winter Soldier was everything you had in this life. You two worked together, hand-to-hand, for more than ten years until he disappeared. With him out of the game, Hydra continued experimenting with you to replace him. But they reached a point where you couldn't bear the pain, losing control completely.

“Let me talk with her, please”. Bucky begged, touring his eyes around the people there.

“It’s too dangerous”. Vision affirmed, taking a position close to Tony.

“She. Owes. Me. Loyalty”. He repeated almost hissing, pointing out every word with his silver forefinger poking the table.

“You have five minutes before the Government brings her to the Raft”. Rhodes sentenced, crossing his arms on his chest. “Five minutes”.

Escorted by Steve and Wanda, who was the only one there that could control you, Bucky went down to the third sublevel. When the soporific made its effect and knocked you out in the middle of Manhattan, the Avengers managed to take you to their compound.

You were still stoned, but conscious enough to know what was happening around you. Everything spun inside the bunker. Your head hurt like hell and you felt a knot within the pit of your stomach that made you want to puke your guts. As the heavy door proffered a loud noise being opened you retreated to the farthest corner, placing your knees to your chest and wrapping your legs with both arms. Again, you were shaking. Terrified. About to beg for your life.

“Soldat, otchet o missii”.

(Soldier, mission report).

Your breathing became erratic as if the air wasn't enough to fill your lungs. You were at the edge of your crying, raising your hidden face from the gap of your knees. The Winter Soldier was standing some feet away from you. No expression on his face, as always, but with the small difference of a slight inkling of concern. He also looked skinnier, shorter hair, a grown beard. He looked healthier, free.

“Net zadaniya”. You whispered with a broken tone.

(No assignment).

“Soldat, otchet o missii”. He repeated taking a step ahead, hardening his voice.

(Soldier, mission report).

The command made you gulp a sob. Wasn’t he believing you? How could you lie to him?

“Net zadaniya”. You replied with no hesitation, standing on your bare feet and sticking your back to the wall. “Missiya ne naznachena”.

(No assignment. No mission assigned).

You noticed he wanted to turn to his partners, but he didn't. The soldier kept eye contact, coming a little more closer, invading your personal space without caring. He tilted his head forward, trying to find the answers to his questions in your orbs. But they both were emptied with the sole exception of the horror invading your chest and reflected on them. You didn't want to come back. You wanted to be released from Hydra's chain. You weren't an assassin, nor a monster.

“I wa… I was looking for… you”. Babbling, you confessed, being the explanation for why your mind took you to that place in concrete.

“Why?”

“Because you are the only person I have”.

His eyelids narrowed for a second, scanning your intentions, feeling frustrated by not finding anything hidden beneath your words. “Otchet o missii, soldat”.

(Mission report, soldier).

“Net zadaniya, Sergeant Barnes”.

(No assignment).

It was the first time you pronounced part of his real name since you met him many years ago and you could listen to his heartbeat increasing. Before you blinked, his metallic hand grabbed your throat and pinned you against the wall, watching the fury and the rage taking control over his grimace. Glancing above his shoulder, a redhead woman stopped the blonde man known as Captain America. Your gaze focused again on the soldier, loosening slowly the grip on your skin.

“Why don't you remember me?”

The last thing you knew about him was that the man behind him brought back the memories of his past life. His real life. But he was still looking at you with hate and revulsion. Of course, the Winter Soldier was conscious of who you were. What he had forgotten was how he felt about you. He didn't reply to your question, walking backward to the exit, leaving you there. Alone. Again.

feedback is appreciated, please, leave a comment to let me know if you liked it and/or reblog it.

author notes: what do you think about, after the two parts explaining the story, continuing it to explore the evolution of their relationship? do you like the idea? lemme know in a comment or send me an ask!

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[changkyunswifey]

12:20 am l im changkyun

wc: 1.2k

request: //

genre: implicit smut ? pretty heavy angst, fluff somehow?

pairing: changkyun x gn!reader

contains: i'm not sure if this is really triggering but better safe than sorry so : TW// rather heavy angst that deals with abandonment issues and not being able to live without someone but overall this is just Changkyun dealing with your insecurities like a champ and loving you as much as you do

a/n: i'm not doing well so i wrote this. Changkyun is my comfort person and maybe that's why i wrote so much about him, i hope you are all okay and taking care of yourselves.

Both of your bodies drowning in the moonlight, Changkyun's forehead was resting against yours as you were making love to one another.

Pants, moans and occasional growls slipped out from both of your lips, swallowing each other's sound in heated and passionate kisses, your lips pressing on his, his tongue made its way inside of your mouth, exploring every inches of you with his warm hands, feeling up from your thigh, to your waist down all the way up to your chest before resting softly around your neck, barely applying any pressure just so he could angle your face the right way to kiss you how he wanted.

You pulled away from his to admire his every features, the way his eyes were slightly glimmering under the faint light coming from outside, how a few drops of sweat would pearl near his hairline, his black hair sticking to his forehead, beautifully framing his face, his mouth agape as his hot breath fans on your lips, low and barely audible sound making their way out of his beautiful swollen lips.

It had been a while since you and Changkyun saw each other and finally being with one another, sharing your love and adoration felt overwhelming, it was a lot to take in, almost too much.

You ragged breath turned into faint sobs, your emotions getting the best of you, the sound that you made brought Changkyun out of whatever trance he was in.

"Baby ?" he asked worriedly, getting no answer from you he halted his movements and brought your face for you to look into his eyes.

"Y/N ? Love, did I hurt you ? Please tell me I didn't hurt you." every alarm was setting in his brain, he knew you guys were the passionate type during those moments but never has he done anything that could hurt you, so the thought of doing it made panic rose within him.

"No - I'm fine, you didn't do anything wrong," you began, seeing him untense above you, rubbing both his thumbs on your cheeks to sooth you from whatever made you break down like that.

"I just missed you so much and all of this feels overwhelming and I didn't mean to cry like I'm so sorry I just -" he hushed you with a kiss, firm and quick but which held so many words.

"I missed you too, a lot. Don't apologize for that, okay ?" he reassured you, obvious care in his tone, his words and acts never failed to make your heart swell.

"You're not going to leave again, are you ?" you whispered against his lips, your eyes closed to hold back the tears that were threatening from rolling down your cheeks.

"I'm not leaving. Ever." Changkyun truthfully said, finding himself getting emotional on his own, seeing you allowing yourself to be so vulnerable before him always made him feel some type of way, the more the time passed by, the more he was helping you out of your shell, and so were you.

You guys were like two flames, even more powerful than soulmates. In addition to being made of each other you also made each other grow, when you met, your lives just completely changed. You started seeing the world differently. You were pushing one another to engage with the divine, shift consciousness, and become a better, soulful being in this experience.

And this is why your relationship was so intense and challenging.

It was making you deal with both of your unresolved issues and become bigger persons.

Tonight was most certainly another moment of growth and emotional bonding.

"I'm not ready to lose you." Changkyun confessed, blinking and allowing a few tears to slip from his eyes.

You brought his face down to yours and kissed his tears away, messily rubbing your nose against his as a sign of reassurance, holding his face close to yours, as if you were one.

"You're the reason I'm still here.." you replied, sincerity blooming out of your sentence.

This moment was intense to say the least, what started as a passionate and loving night was taking a complete turn and slowly grew onto a night of deep hearted confessions.

"It's us against the world, right ?" he said chuckling softly, subtly referring to that one night you were the first one to say this, you had decided to meet up atop of a hill which was hovering the city, being visited by a few couples and group of friends who wanted to stargaze just like you.

That night was meaningful, the world felt small and you were on top of it all, it was really you two against the world.

"I love you so much Changkyun, I love you so much it hurts." you admitted, pouring your feelings directly within his heart, "And I love you more than any words or stars could express Y/N."

The atmosphere was heavy, the warmth previously enveloping you had cooled down, a small breeze could almost be felt as no words were being spoken.

Kisses were being shared, even deeper and more passionate than before, it was almost becoming messy, none of you dared to pull away too much nor for too long, your lips barely leaving his, a thin layer of spit covering your lips as his tongue swiped against it, offering you the softest french kisses you could ask for.

You were just staring at each other, losing yourselves in one another's loving gaze, his breath tickling your chin as you two tried to ease the tension that had made its way in your systems.

After a while, just staring at your lover, he leaned down to kiss you again, one quick kiss, earning a relaxed smile from you as you both let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, that simple gesture had eased the tension and you kissed again.

Your bodies started moving under the covers once again, your right hand tangling in his hair to pull him closer to you, if that was even possible, while you left hand held onto his arm for dear life, scared he might just disappear under your touch.

Changkyun wasn't doing any better, one arm sneaking under you to press your chest flush against his, as his other hand mimicked yours and ran through your hair.

At this moment, you two really made one, unable to be without the other everything fell into place. The way he was holding you close to him, as you were half laying on top of him, completely out of breath, stroking your sticky hair out of your face, lowering his gaze to admire your face, a lazy smile adorning your lips as you absentmindedly drew random shapes on his chest with your fingertips.

"I'm never going to leave you Y/N. I promise." Changkyun breathed out, kissing the crown of your head as you slowly drifted off to sleep, wrapped in his warm embrace and endless love, being with him feeling as comforting as it could.

It felt like home, he felt like home. Yes, no matter what happened, you knew you could always run to him to find whatever you needed, you silently admitted to yourself that Changkyun is home.

[it-was-summer]

When I’m Away (Aged Up!Five x Fem!Reader)

Requested: Yes! Im so glad you guys enjoy my writing and support me! 

Plot: It was basically Five and fem!Reader were best friends and in love and when he jumped, she ended up in the apocalypse together with him. He finally confessed. A few years down the line they got married (as best as one can in an apocalypse xD) and eventually made it home together slightly aged up. Five was always insecure about the fact that he made Reader suffer though even accidentally. It was his biggest regret but most selfish happiness. Post-apocalypse saving, he overhears a conversation Reader is having with one of the other Hargreeves (Klaus, Allison or Vanya come to mind) and misinterprets it/mishears it. He thinks Reader regrets being with him and was truly miserable all this time and that crushes him inside. He starts doing his best to make things happier for her but also makes himself scarce. In a life or death situation, he ends up putting himself in the line of fire for her and before he passes out from the wounds, he whispers an apology to her with tears in his eyes and that he wishes that she can have a second chance now that she's young again. Of course Reader doesn't understand at all what he means and Five refers back to what she said and that's when she realizes what he means and that he misunderstood. He ends up blacking out before she can clarify his fears though and her next week is hell because she's so afraid Five won't wake up and will die thinking she never loved him. When he does she sobs, and she finally tells him that he misheard her and that she loves him and wouldn't trade her life with him for anything. (Right up my ally) Just because you wanted them aged up, I made the two of them 18, I hope that is okay!:) I hope that you like it!! @oceanspray5

Word Count:2623

You couldn’t really remember how it happened. The only thing you could remember is a flash of blue appeared and then a boy was there, in a mask. Everyone knew about the Umbrella Academy, you would be lying if you said that you had no idea who they were, but you did indeed recognize the emblem on his uniform. It was weird, however, that he was standing in your backyard. He stared at you, struggling to find something to say before you shrugged and said “Maybe the calculations were off.”

After that he would occasionally pop in without the mask, inviting you out with him when his family was too much or when he was feeling lonely. You didn’t mind, it was nice to have a friend. It was nice to have someone to talk to, even if that someone was sometimes a little too blunt.

The two of you sat on a park bench in the middle of the afternoon, sunshine shining down on the two of you when you spoke up “You seem less snarky today.”

“Less?”

“Yes,” you nodded, still waiting for him to say why he was in such good spirits, but his answer never came. You didn’t pry, you knew that eventually he would say something, but right now was not the time.

His friendship came easy, it was like learning how to walk. You didn’t need to remember how to walk, you just knew you could. That’s how it felt to be friends with Five, he was like a walk in the park. It was your feelings that came second, crashing down on you like a piano, leaving you bewildered and wounded.

You never said anything, thinking that it was just a mindless crush that would eventually disappear, leaving things to continue as they normally did. However, you couldn’t help but notice how bright his smile was, how lovely his hair looked, or how he had dimples. None of that made you want to confess, the only thing that made you want to confess is when he would reach out for you. When his fingers would brush against yours in silly moments of bliss, that’s when you felt your chest deflate, leaving you in desperate need for air.

It was Summer, green decorated the world and colors swayed in the hot wind. You watched from the front door of the Hargreeves door. You knew that today was the today. You were just simply waiting for a moment. You were waiting for his schedule to be clear. It was supposed to be clear after lunch and you knew that, so you were here at one in the afternoon, waiting. You were playing with the hem of your shirt when the door opened in a violent fashion. Your eyes gleamed and you stood straighter, but that’s when Five ran past you. You followed suit, ignoring his warnings as he started his own personal mission. You lept towards him, in an attempt to grab hold of him, succeeding only to be surrounded by blue lights. You didn’t let go till Five stopped running.

It was hard to breathe, that was your first thought. You couldn’t seem to get a deep enough breath. Five was screaming, frustration filling up his senses as he tried to escape this hell. Then he ran, back in the direction of the umbrella academy, back to his home. You stood still, noise becoming obsolete as your soul left your body. You felt as if you watched yourself follow Five, you didn’t speak, you didn’t cry. It was only when Five turned to you with a panicked face and teary eyes that you felt your soul return, running over to him and holding him tightly as the two of you sobbed in the wreckage.

Surviving with Five was the easy part, he was your best friend so of course it was easy. The hard part was remembering. Sometimes you would have dreams about home, about your family or friends, sometimes you would even dream about growing up with Five. Growing up normally, as normal as the two of you could be, given how one out of the two of you was especially gifted. You dreamt about school life with Five. Going to prom with Five. Something normal and desperately sweet, but then you would open your eyes and you would be in a crumbling house, feeling hopelessly lost.

It was getting colder and you were looking for something to burn that seemed relatively dry when Five flashed in next to you. “Need help?”

You smiled up at him, giving him a tiny nod as the two of you started to walk into piles of rubble. “Do you ever dream about what could have been?”

“What could have been?”

“Yes,” you picked up a wooden plank “, Sometimes I dream about us, I dream that we met normally, like in the movies.” You explained as Five stared at you. He bit his lip and held his hand out towards you, letting you safely cross a ledge.

“No, I try not to.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, I think that if we were normal,” his hand lingered “, I think that things would be different.”

Your eyes locked onto his for a second before he bent down to pick up some branches. You looked away with a small hum “Maybe, but I think we would always find each other. In this lifetime and in others, I think it always had to be the two of us.”

Five swallowed hard, turning to face you. It had been months now, months since the two of you ended up stuck here, and yet you still seemed so lovely. Even when the entire world was gone, you were still his light. He decided then that, no matter what happened it had to be you. It would always be you. “Like soulmates,”

“If you’d like a definition, then sure, like soulmates.”

“Despite everything I believe in, I can find it in my heart that I have always loved you.” Your eyes became wide as you held the wooden plank closer to your chest, mind running rampant as you tried to string a sentence together in the midst of your astonishment. Five grinned, knowing that he must have said something right by the way your cheeks were turning a beautiful red. You let out a melodic laugh as you leaned towards him, pressing a small kiss to his temple, then whispering a sweet “I love you too.”

Your love for each other grew like wildfire with each passing day; each week, month, and year felt as amazing as the last. The depressing parts of the apocalypse were drowned out by kisses and days of being together. Days of surviving together. That was enough to make it all bearable. All the scorching hot days, the freezing nights and rationing seemed so little compared to how the two of you loved each other. It was a few days before the fortieth anniversary of the apocalypse when Five turned to you with the biggest smile you had ever seen on his face. “What?”You giggled lightly, pushing him softly in a lame attempt to get him to answer you.

“I found some candles and guess what started blooming,” he pulled you by your arm over towards a patch of dandelions. They weren’t exactly flowers, but you weren’t complaining.

“Lovely,” you sighed as a gust of wind blew through the two of you, Five’s mouth moving but you couldn’t make out the words until the wind settled and you heard him say “We should get married,”

It was something impulsive and unplanned. You knew that even with the paperclip rings the two of you managed to make for each other wouldn’t be legally binding, but it was enough. Marrying each other gave the two of you just an ounce of normalcy in the middle of the revived earth. It was enough to make the two of you feel good about the world again. Hope was slowly being restored and the two of you had hoped that this small union between the two of you would be enough to settle the horrible images that surrounded both of your minds every night. So with two small vows and “I do’s”, the two of you wore poorly constructed paper clips around your left ring fingers, proudly.

Now you were staring down at that same paperclip ring on a much younger hand. After escaping from the commission and running, you were addressing your situation silently in a fully furnished, not to mention, elaborate living room. You and Five had jumped back into time, and by some fault the two of you became eighteen again. You felt more alive, yes, but more anxious than ever. You wish the two of you had more time. More time to make up a plan for the apocalypse, a better plan. Five sat with his back against yours, muttering soft calculations in the silence of his home. You just wish the two of you had more time.

The time the two of you were running through a clothing warehouse was when Five first saw it. He saw how desperate your eyes looked. Given that the two of you were being shot at the time, but his mind traveled back to when you talked about normalcy. His heart tugged in his chest, seeing your panicked face move closer, grabbing hold of his hand tightly and yanking him under a countertop. Deep down inside Five always felt guilty for bringing you along, although it wasn’t willingly, his chest still felt heavy as the two of you escaped the warehouse alive. He wanted you to have a normal life, that’s all he wanted. He wished he could be normal for you, stable for you and above all be extremely and completely boring for you, so you could have that normal life that you clung to in your dreams.

You watched Five perform a dance you had never seen before, walking around the kitchen avoiding your stare from the table and escaping any attempts of conversation and he did it all with a sweet smile. One moment he would be talking to himself loudly down the hall, but as soon as he saw you, he sent you a sweet look and stopped talking all together. He seemed so strange, and yet you couldn’t put your finger on it. You were sure that he was just trying to figure things out the same as you, but he was worrying you.

You were walking around the house when you heard Klaus calling your name in a excited tone, he straightened when he saw you, bowed and then said “Mrs.Hargreeves,”

“Klaus,”

“How is the husband?” he asked as he sauntered over next to you, sitting on the couch before he patted the cushion next to him for you to take.

You sat with a tiny huff “He’s being,” you trailed off before saying “,Him.” You let out a defeated sigh as you heard Klaus laugh at your anxiety.

“He’s Five, he’s always been moody!”

“Yes, but he loves me.” You looked down at the paperclip wrapped around your finger with a groan “I think he’s just stressed, or something. He gets distant, yes, but usually he isn’t so happily ignoring me?” you vented before you brought a hand up to your forehead gently.

“Why did you marry him anyway?”

You grinned, feeling childish “Maybe, because he was the last man on earth,”  that was the last sentence Five heard before he walked away, locking himself back up in the room filled with equations. 

“I married him because I love him. I really do.”

Something you had learned at the commission was that a gunshot was less dramatic than it was on television, and the worst thing you learned was that the screen wouldn’t fade to black when things got gory. Now you were wishing you were in a movie, as the gun was pointed at you by Hazel, but instead of the bullet going through you a brilliant flash of blue took the bullet for you and Five was falling to the ground, bleeding out from his chest. You let out a scream, catching him before his body could touch the earth, holding him close in your lap as his siblings fought off the assassins.

“Five,” you said his name clearly, holding back tears as your hands were becoming red with his blood.

His eyes darted towards yours in a second and he smiled softly. “Hey,” you dragged him behind the bar, leaving a trail of blood behind the two of you “Hey, Y/N…” You looked down at the sound of your name, tears blocking your vision. “I’m sorry for,” he paused, eyes searching for the words as his mind became foggy and damp “,for everything really. Please, please stop this and maybe you can move on without me and be better. Be happier.” he said breathlessly as Grace rounded the corner at the perfect time.

“What are you talking about,” his eyes fluttered, fighting to stay conscious as he let out a tiny whine before he drifted off into a state of unconsciousness “,Five!”

Then next few days were absolute torture, you sat at Five’s bedside, waiting for some kind of sign that he would wake up. Grace said his vitals were fine, it was only a matter of time till he was awake, but that didn’t start the ball of anxiety from growing deep within your stomach, infecting all of you quicker than any virus known to man. He had to wake up. Did he truly believe that you could ever live without him? That you could ever do any of this without him? Five was the love of your life, your soulmate, the one person who was supposed to grow old with you… again. You were stuck in this body, feeling miserable as you stared down at your unconscious husband, begging to anything, to anybody, that he would wake up soon.

It was around three in the morning when his eyes opened, slowly, but surely they opened. The first thing he focused on was you, seeing the red around your eyes as you stared down at him. “Five,” you let out a heavy sigh, smiling with relief.

“What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean? I’m your wife, why wouldn’t I be here?”

“You only married me because I was the last man on earth,” Five’s fresh eyes filled with tears as he watched you let out a small sound of understanding.

“Is this,” you paused, your smiling dropping quickly “,Is this what all this was about? You heard me joking around with Klaus and you thought I was serious?” You questioned, feeling your heartbreak for the man you loved. “Five, my love, I love you with everything fiber of my being. I didn’t mean it like that. I would never leave you. I could never replace you, my love.” you leaned down, kissing his nose gently, giving Five a easy going smile as you pulled away.

Five swallowed hard as he looked up into your eyes, suddenly feeling foolish for how he was feeling. All the guilt he built up, watching you panic. It was because you needed him, you loved him. You couldn’t bear to lose him, just like he couldn’t bear to lose you. He let his tears fall “I’m so sorry, I thought you didn’t want me anymore, I thought-”

You shushed him softly “It’s okay,” you slid into the bed with him, holding him close as he calmed down “, It’s always been you. I could never love anyone else, it’s always going to be you.” You whispered sweetly to him, feeling his body relax into your embrace.

[diyeoracha]

fanfic recommendations

for @kittensocute bc i heard “atsukita” and “iwaoi” in reference to fanfiction and i am There

i took your “i love slow burn or slow build fics... so i like relatively shorter burn fics (20-30k). If its a 10k oneshot slow burn hELL SIGN ME UP” and absolutely ran with it.

i listed my fav iwaoi fics (17) with a longer word count (longest is 80k) that are all mostly either canon compliant or divergent with only two straight up AUs. none of them feature heavy nsfw content and most if not all are tagged as friends to lovers lmao. feel free to read the my thoughts or just go into them blind!! and they’re all in order of how much I absolutely adore them :^)

now atsukita is not a big ship *sobs* but here are some of my favorite fics (7) of them! a lot of them are shorter bc i guess that’s just. what happens when it’s a small ship LOL. 

the formatting in this is fucked if you open it from ur dash but if it’s on my actual blog it should be fine!

Iwaoi

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle

Word count: 66k

thoughts: my absolute absolute absolute favorite iwaoi fic. the characterization, the fact that oikawa’s a bastard but because he and iwaizumi are older (late 20s i believe), it feels more realistic and sad rather than oikawa being a bitch for the sake of it. spoiler alert it’s slow burn and pining and mostly oikawa not realizing his feelings. this world building is pretty cool bc iwaizumi is the professional player while oikawa is an entomology professor! also i love non-linear narratives bc of This fic. there’s mutual pining in this fic but it’s really really really subtle to the point where you dont even know if oikawa likes iwa. this made me cry like twice.

sunset towns

Word count: 33k

Summary: In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.

thoughts: the tone in this is So similar to the courtship ritual that I liken this as an alternate story even though it’s still oikawa’s pov. professional player oikawa and regular guy iwaizumi and oikawa is just. bumming around at iwaizumi’s place and naturally he messes up but things happen.

told before and told again

word count: 4k

thoughts: i looked through literally all the tags i could’ve thought of for this and nearly cried when i found it agian. outsider POV!!

In damp earth my body

Word count: 15k

Summary: Onscreen, the nation’s favorite setter has arranged himself so that he’s bowing, forehead pressed to the court, like he’s thanking everyone for their kindness thus far, like he’s asking for forgiveness. Hajime thinks: shit, it’s really happening

thoughts: oikawa retires and moves in with iwaizumi and they blur the line between roommates/best friends and being fwb. this is an iwaizumi pov and the pining is obvious on his end. as a iwa stan the tone made me feel weird bc it makes it seem like iwa cares more abt oikawa than he cares abt himself but. its a good fic

i grew up, you grew down

word count: 19k

thoughts: this is also SO funny bc basically oikawa retires and moves in with iwaizumi and becomes his stay at home wife and a bunch of shit happens like people think that oikawa is dating ushijima and oikawa basically loses it every time. here’s one of my favorite quotes:

“Oikawa also bought a new ultra-strength vacuum cleaner he’d decided to name Ushiwaka out of sheer spite, because it sucked all the air right out of the room. Iwa-chan didn’t think the joke was that funny when Tooru told him, which was frankly very hurtful and insensitive.”

Mint

Word count: 19k

thoughts: iwaizumi is moving and oikawa planned a perfect last hangout and it goes to shit featuring matsuhana. oikawa pov where he pines more than iwa which is something i can get behind!! and this was written in 2015 and iwa’s moving bc of a sports medicine program so iwaizumi stans know and love him sm ;;

Almost a Stranger

Word count: 16k

thoughts: same premise as mint LOL except they’re on a trip together and there’s more non-linear narrative!! this one is a little more mature in tone than mint i would say (funny how people just like splitting them up and throwing them in different countries huh)

with every second that you could give

Word count: 9k

Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.

Quote: He knows they’re too close. Iwaizumi knows it too, and they both decided to move in together anyway.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates and they’re both obviously and really pine-y for each other and everyone sees it but them. srsly. they’re sleeping in the same bed. like my god

Lost in Translation

Word count: 9k

Summary: Because misfortune come in threes, Iwaizumi Hajime starts his Thursday having a screaming fight with Shittykawa, spends his lunch break listening to the UCI women’s volleyball team gossiping about how Ushijima Wakatoshi had gone public about his longtime love affair with Oikawa Tooru, and closes out the day by drunkenly dropping his phone into a sewer grate.

thoughts: so funny. so sososoosso genuinely funny. the tone is so snappy and iwaizumi honestly just sounds like a confused teenager (which he is in this) and it gets extra points for including a lot of american culture that a lot of the other iwaoi college au ones don’t include for like. obvious reasons lol.

Something Borrowed

Word count: 16k

Summary: In which Oikawa and Iwaizumi have always been a foregone conclusion to everyone else, but a massive, unanswered question to one another.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates thats abo but it’s like. mentioned twice. whiny and possessive oikawa makes an appearance in this but it’s done really well

things that change, things that stay the same

Word count: 8k

Summary: Oikawa realizes he’s in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only for a little while.)

thoughts: high school getting together!! my second iwaoi fic ever and this one is just. so sweet. just an unsure oikawa realizing iwaizumi might be more than someone he wants as a best friend. this fic is honestly really really lovely.

galaxies, within you

Word count: 21k

Summary: Hajime and Tooru move in together at the start of university. Too bad they’re stuck with the two gremlins that haunt their apartment.

thoughts: ok this fic was so funny. theyre uni roommates and matsuhana just come fuck shit up and they all act like idiots together even though they go to different schools. and this really throws me back to university days.

Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)

Word count: 19k

thoughts: pro! oikawa and iwaizumi haven’t been close for a while until oikawa invites iwaizumi to go to the games with him. there’s a lot of frustration and pining and actually talking about feelings (aka iwaizumi losing his mind and getting advice from people like akaashi)

when it starts to rain, they go inside

Word count: 33k

Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“ My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?” OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.

thoughts: this was actually my first iwaoi fic which is funny bc the author doesn’t even like oikawa much and i didnt even ship anything in haikyuu before i read this fic and now im in iwaoi hell. oikawa is really frustrating in this in that it’s basically a really good character analysis on how oikawa comes off as a Mean person all the time bc he’s manipulative and there’s some explicit content

shiver

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates with oikawa admitting his feelings first back when they were in middle school and iwaizumi putting that thought on the backburner until. obviously. things happen.

Desperado

word count: 80k

thoughts: one of my favorite aus. it’s all from kyoutani’s perspective and it’s almost so au that they’re original characters (if that makes sense). basically iwaoi matsuhana are ex-grifters except iwaoi are estranged and daishou somehow brings everyone back together. excellent world building and reading the pov from someone not involved with the iwaoi drama was refreshing

sing with me a song of conquest and fate

word count: 26k

thoughts: a mythical kings au that’s just. so pretty. iwaizumi ends up becoming oikawa’s servant for some reason and the world building is a+ because you can feel the trust and frustration from both of them build

Atsukita

dreams of me and you

word count: 10k (incomplete)

my second atsukita fic that rly sent me down atskt hell ;; what is essentially post-break up when atsumu gets signed to msby and he’s just Pining and sad for the most part. but the established relationship pre-break up was written really nicely because it just fits my hc of them just being domestic and atsumu being blatantly head over heels

take me home

word count: 4k

i read this this morning and it wrecked me. domestic relationship atsukita?? sign me up

No time like the rest of my life

word count: 19k

mythology au with kita as a regular person and rest of inarizaki as fox spirits! it’s cute and the world building is absolutely lovely but it is an au so they might seem ooc but their core character values are still there

wild blue yonder

word count: 6k

literally full of similes and metaphors and it’s more of an abstract read i guess? but it’s so beautiful and soft and this is exactly how i imagine their relationship

reap and sow

word count: 8k

atsumu confesses and kita ignores him and it’s a couple years after the fact and it’s mostly just weirdly domestic almost roommate like except for the fact that atsumu makes it clear he likes kita LOL. they’re really in character for this!

weightless souls

word count: 2k

pillow talk before atsumu’s first game! the atsumu pov and voice is amazing

if we were both alone

word count: 7k

now this was actually my first atskt fic that sent me down this rare pair hell. it’s an explicit chat fic (both tropes i usually try to avoid) but atsumu types like me (except for the nsfw parts alksfjd) so i guess i like. feel appreciation LMAO.

if you do read like any of these fics pls let me know so we can discuss

♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

[kantostarter]

i am only noticing now how insanely long the ask was IM SORRY BC I MIGHT SEND LONGER LMAO anyways idol content is everywhere! i also talked intensely abt my genshin idol au in my blog if u wanna check it out ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ ALSO SAY HI TO MIR FOR ME AND I'D LOVE TO TALK ABT HYPMIC!! the bois give me many amounts of joy and i like watching the anime sometimes too despite the backlash it got KFHFJHF enstars is super fun!! i miss playing it but if i download even a single rhythm game i will download all of them and thus my peace and quiet will end once again SOB im glad u like the ones i listed!! there r probably a shit ton more bc the virtual idol community is just. MASSIVE???

LASTLY I SAW YOU WERE INTERESTED IN HONEYWORKS! im worried i'll hit the character limit for asks but i'll try to give a brief summary of honeyworks itself! hnw is a japanese music group that started out with producing vocaloid songs! if you're familiar with vFlower (the vocal synth), hnw also produces him! anyway, their core members are Gom and shito, who compose the music, and yamako and mogelatte as their illustrators. they started with vocaloid songs but eventually branched out to human singers, and they're also well-known for collaborating with the singer CHiCO! and in 2014, they made a professional debut as an independent music circle with their third album and the beginning of Kokuhaku Jikkou Iinkai (Confession Executive Committee) or otherwise known as Confession Series as a multi-media franchise!

Now, Confession Executive Committee, which is too long for my own sanity so we call it CEC, is divided into two series, Love Series and Idol Series. they share some characters and character relationships (such as the shibasaki brothers and the narumi sisters) and exist in the same universe. most of everything happens in sakuragaoka high school, and love series takes place here almost entirely. i'm unsure if you wanna learn more about love series, but a brief cut on it is it's about three different classes (which are referred to by the fandom as generation 1-3) and their very fluffy high school romances. pls lmk if you wanna know more bc im gonna focus on the idols!

idol series is the one i've probably talked about too much, but of course it generally centers around idols such as lipxlip's shibasaki aizou and someya yuujirou, minami, mona, and full throttle4's rio, megu, dai, yui, and iv! romance in the idol series is never fully fleshed out yet also incredibly heavily referenced and expressed, as it focuses on the struggles and experiences of idols before, during, and after their debut into the idol industry! i've already talked an incredulous amount abt lipxlip but i also have more to say, most of their songs and MVs are hard to understand on the surface bc most of them exist as in-universe music videos (for example, if you watch the romeo MV of lipxlip you might think these two dumbasses are trying to woo princess sena, when in fact this is?? acting?? it's hard to explain but they're not really princes and the events of romeo as well as a good number of other MVs are entirely fictional, both in-universe and out. sena, my beloved, is featured in the love series and has a canon love interest! so she only views lipxlip professionally. and also aizou and yuujirou are. themselves.) part of lipxlip's stories is also suzumi hiyori! while she isn't an idol herself, she serves as lipxlip's manager in training and is constantly being tormented by these two fuckers. but they care about her a lot i swear. they're just like that™. there's a currently airing anime that centers on her story, it's titled heroine tarumono! kiraware heroine to naisho no oshigoto (heroines run the show! the unpopular girl and the secret task). she's listed as part of the love series but ⚫👄⚫ i pretend i do not see /j

there's sm more i can talk about (IM SO SORRY HNW HAS BEEN TORMENTING ME FOR. SO LONG. I NEED PPL TO INFECT IT WITH FJFHJD) so pls lmk if u wanna hear more abt the singing pretty pixel people bc this ask is already too long to be normal. ALSO I WILL TAKE U UP ON THE REQS PREPARE TO SEE A TON OF IDOL MEDIA

doesn’t tumblr have a character limit for asks..!? i’m honestly shocked that you were able to type this much! anyway. i’ve Filed all the knowledge about honeyworks into the little filing cabinets in my singular brain cell. thank you again, ess!! i mean, like. feel free to share more about hnw because i am Quite intrigued?? actually, there’s this other like. ig you could call it idol media? called dear vocalist that i know a few of my alters are familiar with, but. i’d have to let them talk about it since my brain cell is filled with things like this video now. -w-” 

ALSO, WHEN I SAW YOUR REQS?? I WAS LIKE. TY ESS FOR ENABLING ME!! i will be very powerful this short king spring <3

[irondad-not-ironsad]

A little late, but here are the notes I took during my first listen to the red vault tracks (yes I listened to ten minute all too well first), if this seems rambly and nonsensical it’s because I was taking them in real time and progressively becoming more wine drunk throughout 😂

ATW 10 minute

THE INTRO IS DIFFERENTTTTTTTT

IMMACULATE VIBES OMGGGGGGG

ITS SO DIFERENT AND THERE HAVENT EVEN BEEN NEW WORDS YETTT

EVEN THE ORIGINAL LYRICS SOUND DIFFERENT

big pop vibes I love it

SHE SAID FUCK

HE NEVER SAID I LOVE YOU

JAKE HAD COMMITMENT ISSUES

SHIT

IM GOING TO LISTEM TO THAT BIT AGAIN RN

HITTING TO HARD TAYLOR

SHIIIIIIIIIT

SHES COMING FOR HIS THROAT

SHIT SHE CAME FOR HIS PREDATORY ASS

maturity is seeing how back them she cut all the lyrics referring to the game gap but now she’s grown and is unashamed to call out his bullshit

This long outro gives me “I promised ten minutes so I gotta stretch this” vibes but I love it

Second listen time

Starting with this was a mistake because now I can’t bring myself to stop looping it

This is my new favorite thing ever this is all ok gonna talk about for weeks

“Anytime now he’s gonna say it’s love, you never called it what it was” I needed to hear that

YOU KEPT ME LIKE A SECRET BUT I KEPT YOU LIKE AN OATH GIRLLLLLLLL

They say all’s well that ends well what the fuckkkkk

“If we had been closer in age maybe it would’ve been fine” Taylor I’m so sorry girl he didn’t deserve you

“It’s supposed to be fun turning 21” go off papa swift

Ronan

Not gonna give to much commentary here but it’s beautiful and devastating and I’m sobbing

(Also my roommate doesn’t understand Ronan and she’s listening in album order so she doesn’t get why I’m crying)

Better Man

Amazing vibes from the intro

SHE SOUNDS SOOOOO GOOD

whole different lens hearing jake songs post ten minute all too well

Nothing new

Confession I’ve never heard a phoebe bridgers song beg for so I’m hyped and hoping she has a verse

Oh noooooo right off the bat huh

Ugh I wanna hug 22 year old Taylor

Is this phoebe?!

I LOVE HER VOICE

This is perfection

I think this is my favorite kind of musical vibes

Okay but 9 years later and Taylor is still thriving I wish 22 year old Taylor could see her now

BABE

it’s so pop but it’s a much needed break from sobbing I hope?

I heard her sing this live on rep tour but this is so different

Im dancing like it’s still sad but it’s a sad bop

How was she so brilliant in her early twenties? Like I’m around the age she was then and I couldn’t imagine being this genius

THE BRIDGE IS IMMACULATE

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

1989 vibes

was not expecting it to be this POP I love it

I just wanna dance to this at a club

Like ultimate early 2010s pop vibes

This is enchanted but more upbeat and pop I can’t explain it just is

Like big “we’re not officially a thing but I could really see this going somewhere and it scares me and thrills me all at once”

I Bet You Think of Me

Is this country/folksy vibes I detect?

Love the storytelling spoken singing vibes

I FUCKING LOVE THIS IS THAT A FUCKING HARMONICA OOOOO

her talking about his snooty friends reminds me of the academic snobs in my philosophy classes

I love the yeehaw vibes juxtaposed with criticizing there snobbiness

FUCK JAKE GYLLENHAL GO FOR HIS THROAT GIRLLLLLLL

Imagine thinking Taylor swift wasn’t good enough for you

“When you say oh my god she’s insane she wrote a song about me” I love this

Also not Chris only getting backing vocals, iconic

This is red’s mr perfectly fine

Forever Winter

I’m scared

Love this intro but I know imma cry

This is speak now meets evermore

Okay lyrics reminding me of renegade

The naivety of thinking you can fix a guy is beautifully captured here

Wait is this song about trying to stop someone from commenting suicide?

If so this is a whole new layer of devastating

Run

1234 I LOVE

was not expecting this to be slow

But I’m in love with it

Is this a love song? Awwww

About a hidden relationship it seems

Don’t come for me but I like this more than everything has changed

This is adorable

Oh no sadness in the bridge

Ok I loved that

The Very First Night

Immediately speak now vibes which I love

Ooh that bass

Okay pop vibes now

1989 is that you?

This went from speak now to red to 1989 in less than a minute

Iconic

Not at all what i expected but I am obsessed

GORGEOUSSSSSSS

[riceccakes]

Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Three Analysis

chapter one analysis | chapter two analysis

back again for another chapter analysis. i think ive been looking forward to this chapter the most, it’s where some big decisions were made!!! this analysis is a long one, i hope that’s all right! i kinda got carried away. so, let’s dive right in, shall we?

some fun stuff before we start!

chapter three was supposed to be the last chapter of the fic

idk if any of you were there when i first started writing this fic, but it was only going to be three chapters with a possible epilogue. however, everything changed when i finished the end of chapter two. (lil atla reference there for ya) (sorry i know that was bad, moving on). like i said in my last analysis, i had an idea of what i wanted to happen (the separation of korrasami) so that they could come back together. it was just a matter of what separates them. so, i’m not sure where i got the panic attack idea but once i did, the rest of the story changed. i realized i couldn’t quite possibly finish the story in one chapter so i split the ideas i had and decided on it being four chapters

now, this being said, maaaaajor changes were made in my story outline. most notably: korrasami was going to be a couple in this chapter

this was originally going to be a full fledged “they meet, they get to know each other, they fall in love, happily every after” but the thing was, i planned on treating their romance as korra’s recovery; that being with asami is what made korra better, that all she needed was a partner, someone to love, and that is not what i wanted to portray with this story. i’ve never been a fan of stories that give a character a love interest and all of sudden their problems are fixed and they’re completely happy, and here i was about to do just that. i knew i’d never respect myself if i continued down this narrative, and when chapter two ended with korra’s panic attack, i realized her growth needed better love and attention. so, i changed what happened and gave her some therapy

this change in the storyline also let me explore more of kuvopal !!! (is that their ship name?)

so, back to LOVE WITCH for a second (because that glorious fic really did steal my heart) not only did it make me love kuvira’s character more, it also got me into the kuvopal relationship! and yet again, i wanted my own go at it. with the original timeline, there was just no space for me to include the lil bread crumbs of their relationship. however, however, however; by splitting the ending between two chapters (and adding some stuff in between) i was able to lay some foundation for them, which im very happy about :)

into the chapter we go:

let’s talk about the meeting! the whole reason this fic came to be! i’ll start by saying i always knew the project was going to get pulled out from under asami. 1) because thats some angsty/hurt shit right there and im a sucker for writing angst 2) i didn’t feel like creating a whole ass presentation because knowing my ass i would’ve made a powerpoint about it so i had every detail down to the font asami used and 3) getting the presentation taken away from asami was a pivotal point in her character arc.

i actually started the chapter in two different ways. at first, i’d written her whole entire morning with there always being one thing that was off. like, instead of a perfect omelette, it was going to split and asami would’ve had a scramble, still good, but not her favorite. instead of going through all green lights on her way to work, asami was gonna meet every. single. red. light. i would’ve gone through with this if it hadn’t felt strange; i wanted to give the impression that something bad was going to happen but i felt like having something go wrong with every thing in her morning was gonna be a dead give away that some even bigger big bad was about to happen, if that makes sense. so instead, i went with the picture perfect scenario, almost too perfect, if you ask me. and indeed, it was too perfect, because hiroshi was too much of a coward to tell his daughter any sooner that his board agreed to get a new presenter

im just gonna cite a bunch of my favorite lines/bits from this chapter because i really enjoyed writing it xD

Iroh has already begun but Asami hears no words, only a blaring ring in her ears. Her face feels hot and she wonders how red she is. She stares at the black binder, notes the natural grooves and curves of the material, the plastic covering over top of it, the metal spine peaking out at the bottom. She’s only brought out of it’s dark trance when she feels a hand be placed on her arm; Kuvira. 

when you’re upset, do you ever just, hyper focus on one thing and its like you’re analyzing it under a microscope for the first time? yes? no? well, i do that, and personally, i do because if i focus on my anger/hurt emotions any more, im going to explode and i dont want to explode. so, this instance about looking at the grooves in the binder and each of the components of it just hits with me, idk if does with you too, but like bruuh.

Asami has her hand over her mouth, silently sobbing, feeling as if she’ll throw up. She leans her head on her wheel, her mind wanders to what could’ve been, what should’ve been. She feels as if her car is closing in on her, that the metal is compacting. The seatbelt keeps her locked down to the driver’s seat and she can’t leave if she wants to. The Satomobile holds her hostage and she lets it. Even while it’s hurting her, even while it’s harshly molding itself onto her, she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?

this is one of my favorite things ive ever done with asami’s character, is using future industries/satomobiles as a sort of vehicle (heh) for her relationship with her dad. this paragraph just kind of hurts, but the good hurt? but also not good hurt? it’s just, (and not me over here boasting about my writing or anything) it’s so poetic that she has this breakdown and she’s so upset with her dad, i mean “what should’ve been” like, asami KNOWS that the shit that’s just happened is more than wrong, yet asami is still somehow wondering how she can please her dad and it’s in the literal legacy hiroshi built for himself. “she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?” i remember writing that and being like “shit, am i really gonna do this? yeah” ugh, i could go on forever about how i love this section, but i’ll stop here for now.

Asami begins yelling, screaming at the top of her lungs, letting all the thoughts, all the insecurities her father gave her finally be released into the world. Kuvira lets her, simply nodding and following along on the couch while Asami paces her living room. She spews out word after word, about the work, about the presentation, about Iroh, his position, her position, the company, the CEO, and she only stops when she feels the weight of her father rest on her shoulders.

back with more diction; i really love this paragraph because of how we circle back to hiroshi. note how i first say “the CEO” and then a few words later say “her father” because, in a way, this is asami’s confession that hiroshi is CEO first and father second, if i haven’t already explicitly said so. it’s so heart wrenching and sad but my favorite thing about it is this isn’t even about korra. like THIS right here is a prime example about how i realized this fic became more than just a love story. in the planning stages of this fic, asami was going to go through getting the presentation taken away from her, but what was she going to focus more on? the fact that korra wasn’t around anymore. and yes, asami still does think about korra after this, but so much more happens for her. asami gets to know kuvira more, asami gets to know her lab partners more, (and my personal hc is that they’ve all been lab partners for two years and only NOW asami is getting to be friends with them in their senior year, but hey, better late than never!) and to me, what’s even better, is that a bunch of realizations come to asami w/o korra being there. asami is growing and the idea of being able to grow without needing to have a partner in order to grow is so important to me, not only for the fact that growth should be endless and something you do all the time for yourself, but asami literally wants to share it with korra. not boast about changing and growing and becoming better, but just be better with korra. sdlfakds i swear, im fangirling over my own writing, oops

okay, moving on from The Meeting and onto the rest of the chapter

this dock scene was also another part i wrote beforehand and it had a completely different ending in that asami was going to ask korra out on a date. of course, korra would’ve said yes, and then yay yay happy ending. this didn’t happen and i’m glad it didn’t. in one version of this dock scene, asami was actually going to be upset with korra for disappearing, and even worse, mad that korra wasn’t there to comfort her after the presentation. oof, i know. so so glad i didn’t continue down that line, cause it is toxic, and my girls aren’t like that at all.

Once Korra’s eyes meet hers, Asami says, “That doesn’t mean you always have to be on your own.” She smiles at Korra, at the girl who’s turned her world upside down. Her hand remains on Korra’s cheek and she feels the girl sink into her palm. “I’ll be here for you, and it seems like Tenzin will be too, what with saying he was calling you more. And you have his family, and your own family, even though they’re away, they’re here to support you, we all are. You can still be strong and turn to other people for help. It takes great strength to ask for help and I know for a fact you’re strong enough, those bags of coffee beans were nothing for you.”

i like this line of dialogue here for a few reasons, mostly because asami is so soft and so right and the joke at the really helped lighten the mood but didn’t take away from what she’d just said before. i don’t have too much else about the Reunions section, though if you guys have any questions or anything you wanna point out, please do so! i think what i will say is that i tried to be as real and gentle with korra’s progression. i was so nitpicky about everything i wrote because i didn’t want to get any of it wrong or over dramatized or fake. recovery from anything is so important and it takes time and it’s not a straight line so i hope i did a good job with it the rest of the fic. 

moving on, i love the found family trope and this leads me into the next section, New Friends

when i think about this section, i like how soft it is, and i really enjoy the ending bits: korra recounting memories from the south, asami meeting tenzin. i think what i like about the end of this chapter is that, it kind of leaves the question: what’s next?

asami has grown, she’s changed, she sees the errors of her father’s ways but she’s not excusing them. korra has grown, she’s changing, she’s taken the first step in recovery. now it’s just a matter of, what happens with this growth now. and i really loved how i wrapped up the fic in the next and last chapter, so i hope you enjoy it too :))

honorable mentions:

there were a lot of changes in this chapter and one of them got changed twice! korra was gonna get a therapist but then i was like, we gotta get the krew together, and then i was like supppppoorttttt grouuuppppp, because lets be honest, all the krew has stuff they need to work through, and i know therapy isn’t for everyone, but mental health is so vital and important. asami is an advocate for therapy in the chapter but there are also other means to take care of yourself and your mental health and while i’ve never been to a support group, i understand finding comfort in knowing you’re not alone.

i guess what i’m trying to say is please take care of yourself and dont be afraid to lean on others. i know not everyone has the means to get a therapist/psychiatrist and i know that your friends aren’t made to only be your therapist. buuuut, don’t be afraid to reach out, there’s nothing wrong with needing help and support :)

anything i would’ve wanted to change?

honestly, i think the only thing i would’ve wanted to change was mako’s speech during the support group meeting. for me, it was a lil bit too poetically out of character. not to say i want to change the content, but rather the manner in which it’s presented. other than that though, i really loved writing this chapter :)

so this analysis was reeeaaaalllly long, i understand if not everyone made it to end. anyways, thanks so much for reading this analysis and the fic! once again, i’m very much open to questions and any comments, i love them very much! i’ll see you guys in the next analysis of the final chapter :)

[samstrugglingwithlife]

aww hi! can i get a haikyuu matchup? im a straight female, 5’6, and 15. im kinda shy, very awkward, sarcastic, clumsy, and forgetful. pretty oblivious with flirting. quiet but i can often get talkative. extremely indecisive! i procrastinate most of the time and im lazyy. i love baking for ppl and reading romcom! i cannot stand clingy ppl or ppl that need attention 24/7. im already extremely awkward when it comes to affection, so PDA is a no. being loud 24/7 is too. congrats on 200!💓

Hello! I had to think a lot and no matter how many characters I put your description side by side with, I felt that this Character fit you perfectly!

KENMA KOZUME

Look at his wittle toesie woesies, uwu baby

How You Two Met

You were the new kid in his class. You transferred from somewhere far and all the kids were interested in you. It didn’t that you were shy and awkward around people so unfortunately, you came off as unapproachable.

Your seat was right beside Kenma’s, neither of you talked to each other for a good half a year. That is until you dropped your pencil case while exiting the classroom. That was the first time he approached you. Honestly, he was kinda terrified because he had heard your classmates talk about you and how you weren’t friendly and you were mean. But the moment he interacted with you he found out that you are just as awkward as him and people took your shyness for rudeness. He realised that you two were kindred spirits. Slowly, the gap between you was bridged and you two became somewhat friendly with each other.

How You Started Dating

The more he observed you the more he realised how special you were. He noticed how clumsy you were. The sarcastic quips you made were nothing short of genius. He notices that you were clumsy, his heart always got caught in his throat every time you stumbled over your feet or dropped something.

Before he knew it, Kenma had a crush on you. It took a lot of teasing and pushing from Kuroo for Kenma to confess. He was going to do it at his own pace though.

The way he asked you out was not very special but that was how you preferred it.

The two of you were hanging out in the park, he was playing on his console and you were reading one of your books, that’s when he confessed to you with a simple “I like you.”

You also replied just as nonchalantly but only you two know how fast your hearts were beating.

Dates

I refuse to believe that you two would hang out anywhere but the comfort of your own homes. But for your first date you two decided to walk around town and stop by at small shops and bakeries.

On your dates you guys prefer to stay indoors. Kenma as usual plays his video games and you bake little treats for you guys. He knows that you’re indecisive and he finds it very cute when you’re flipping through the recipe book trying to decide what to you want to bake. This guy offered that you do a coin toss.

How You Treat Each Other

Kenma understands that you are iffy with physical affection and pda, he himself is a bit uncomfortable with such displays in public. He never pushes you to be more physically affectionate. He knows that you only open up to people you like, and the way you passionate talk about your favourite book and bake for him and watch him play his games lets him know that you genuine do like him. You don’t get impatient when he gets a bit more quieter because you know he prefers listening to you rather than speaking. Ya’ll love each other and it’s all very innocent and sweet and pure and my heart will explode because you’re both so cute and I wanna adopt ya’ll but it’s okay, I’ll just sob in this corner at how freaking cute you babies are.

This is my first matchup and yeah! Maybe I should’ve read other blogs’ matchups as reference before doing this but I wanted to do it on my own in my own way.

I hope you like this sweetheart! Lemme know if this isn’t any good and I can retry!

[acefrogmonarch]

HC pt. 3

Story Time! with the bat fam

The bat language!

It's just glares and different forms of glares. Semi-glare. Glare. Glare-glare. That's about five sentences.

Ravin has cracked the code and communicated with them. They understand why Raven could but not how Mari understands them.

They are very confused because this little flower shouldn't, like why??? She wears her heart on her sleeve and you can tell when she's angry or sad. Dick and bruce do it but Mari catches them.

Unknown to them, when Mari wants to be, she can 'cut' off her emotions.

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Mari found Damian to be semi-attractive. Damian was like eh, she's another girl.

But he was about 5'11 at this point, and for years to come, he would grow. Mari, herself, is barely reaching 5ft. She considers herself lucky that she even reaches 5'5.

She was 20 when she did.

She is very angry at taller beings than her. Dick is 5'11 while Jason is 6'3, Bruce is taller than both of them.

Mari hates them all. Jason still calls her a bean, even when she has him in a choke-hold during a sparring match. Mari will not hesitate to throw hands. Instead of mellowing out, she did the opposite.

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Jason Todd has had sex with Talia before and he hangs it over Damian's head for years.

As a challenge, he brought it up in front of Marinette. Any other time Damian would have left but since Mari was here, he couldn't. Damian stayed but Mari was like

“Why???" Tugging, cause they were holding hands. "Mari, lovebug, Malak, Habi Alghali. Let's go." Mari is a dissatisfied bean. Reluctantly follows Dami away.

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The Outlaws consisted of Kori, Roy, and Jason!

When they hang out they always have ‘baked’ goods. They were eating edibles in the city but they somehow made their way to the manor for munchies. Alfred asked if they had any left.

Assuming to part with them, they lied and said no. (they always do)

Alfred still searched the trio moved the treat around. Some sour straps, molly ranchers, and a joint.

Alfred took some straps and popped them in.

"Wait, Alfred, that's-" "I know." They will never forget. Bruce semi-believes them.

High!Mari

Mari never took a stance on cannabis. "Too young." was the excuse often used when talking about it. She was 16.

She knew what they did. It wasn't until, Gotham, that she got real experience with edibles.

Roy accidentally gave her 300mg of cannabis.

"I got brownies!" Roy came in the room, granted it was one of Jason's many hideouts and they had agreed to hang out before Mari was dragged away.

"Jason, Let's get blazed!" Roy kicked the door in and Mari took a stance, Jason got out his babies and pointed them at the door. "Uhh." Roy slowly backed out, Jason put away his guns and Mari bounced in excitement.

"Brownies!" Plucking one from the bag, Mari smelled it first. "Mari, no." Mari turned, then plopped it in her mouth, stuffed her hand in the bag and took a bunch more.

Eating 3 more and stuffing some for Tikki. Jason sighed deeply. "Dammit." It sweet chaos for Mari after that.

First, an anxiety attack then bliss. She was never afraid of heights from being Ladybug, and that just added more fun for Mari.

Damian doesn't find out until he calls Mari.

Because Mari was supposed to come back and hang out, they promised. No, Damian was not upset by the fact that Jason is not better company than him.

Not at all. Damian is superior in every way! His ringing phone brought him back to reality.

"Mari, get away from there!" That's Jason. Marinette was giggling and Damian could here the wind.

"No way, Jose," Roy shouted in the background. "Who's jOsE?!?!" Marinette laughed loudly and Damian was starting to question his existence.

"Mari, Baby girl, Demon tamer. Get off the ledge." There was an eerie silence. "Oh, that reminds me. Hi, Damian."

That's it. "Ya Qamar Barid, I'm coming to get you." Marinette started to sob at that. "I MISSED OUR MEET UP, DIDN'T I???" Damian was already driving off, he traced the call.

"No, not at all Habibti. I was just thinking about where we should eat out." Marinette stopped crying.

"Really?" Damian confirms. "Mhm." "Je vais à la pizzeria que je veux, amant.* ”  The call ends and Damian is NOT panicking.

(I go to the pizzeria i want, lover.)*

Marinette hanged up and jumped down to the apartment below. "MARI!!" Jason was going to lose so many years of this. This small bean should be very afraid.

Jason jumped after her with Roy following on the other side. "Oh, shit. Mari!" Roy regrets everything leading up to this point. At first, it was funny, seeing anyone try for the first time is.

Jason caught up to Mari, who has made it down 4 apartments. They were on the 5th floor.

Almost went splat on the pavement a couple of times.

Damian pulls up in one of the many cars, he's hot-wired before. Mari doesn't notice she's trying to climb down from the first floor to the ground. She jumps to a flag and misses.

Damian catches her before she hits the ground. "Damnit Habibti."

Marinette giggles. "I would have been fine, you know that." Damian carried her back to the car, Mari's complaining the entire time.

Once she's seated in the cold car, she promptly falls asleep.

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Lila causes problems for Mari, on purpose but for the wrong reasons.

To spend time with her. Lila is never going to admit that she likes or even remotely revolves her world around Mari. Max points it out to Mari and has tried to get Lila to confess.

Likes to make Marinette mad. When her cheeks go red Lila accidentally lets out a, “She’s cute.” Mari turned to her. “What?” Lila panics and shouts. “I said you’re shit!” Mari is a very confused bean.

The only reason why this is brought up is that they make Lila have Sociopathic tendencies. Like Oni-chan didn’t make sense. Why let go of Adrien? Willing? Better question, why only focus on Mari? Unless you know. . . . . . Just saying.

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A lot of mini ships. Like Alix x Chloe.

Alix and Chloe are secretly dating. Sabrina covers for both of them when it’s date night. Alix’s parents know that she’s gay but not Chloe’s. She doesn’t know why she’s scared.

But she doesn’t like that way her dad dismisses gay pride parades. Marinette helps her come to terms and even helps go through her emotions and to come out.

Still doesn’t come out until very much later. Uses Adrien as an excuse. Adrien knows what she means.

Chloe's mother is alright, you know ,gay pride. She joins the parades and makes small nods in her designs.

Eventually Max x Kim!

Alix and Kim are best friends and they help each other out because they always get the wrong advice.

Max and Kim ‘got together’ because Kim didn’t want to date Odine. Max doesn’t think they are dating.

So Kim makes an effort for their relationship and friendship. Alix dared Kim to date Chloe on valentine’s day, Max was there. He didn’t even hear Chloe’s answer but that didn’t matter because, at that moment.

Max heard and Kim understood why he felt like ‘that’ around Max. Max said congratulations and that just broke Kim's heart. Max is not very good at emotions.

"Mom already has enough on her plate." "I don’t need to trouble her." Max to Kim at some point.

Very later. Marc x Nathanial! Fw/B at 17

Nath only shines when art is involved. Has done sculpting and embroidery lessons from Mari, because he doesn’t want to be limited to one form of expression. Digital music is not his thing. Instruments on the other hand. Band nerd.

Sneaks into Higher writing courses. The teachers let him. He’s so talented in creating a universe from nothing. Marc had let the director of the ‘LB and CN Movie.’

Look at some of his stuff but once some criticism on Twitter started to get deleted for some reason, Marc asked around. Bad plot and all, he dismisses the story “Astruc” approved and did another one. Just because he made one good thing doesn’t mean he made the rest just as great.

Yes I am dissing Thomas

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I am changing this.

No relationship. Luka helps Kagami realize that not everything in sexuality is as black as white because im a sucker for Les Kagami and Bi Luka. They can find happiness with people.

Emotions? What’s that. Barely there. No chill. Whatsoever. Sarcasm? Come again. She can make sarcastic jokes but won’t know it if it hits her in the face.

Knows exactly what you're talking about but at the same time doesn’t. Can’t relate. It’s very frustrating because she won’t disobey without feeling guilty. Mari, Adrien, and Luka help tear down her walls and ‘need to approve’ attitude. A lot of walls around her heart.

Adrien doesn't like or feel any attraction besides strong feelings.

Demi? Or Ace. Maybe Ace.

He is very disappointed when he doesn't feel explosions or fireworks when he kisses Lila (It was for a shoot, maybe audition.)

Parents fighting? Middle of most argument. Afraid of failing his father because his mother was like that?

The acting was put on hold but she would sneak out for auditions. Natalie helped her sneak out. He can’t trust Gabrial but trust his mother's judgment and maybe Natalie.

He doesn’t know what to do because Mari is, best friend and Lila don’t like Best Friend. But Mari said it was okay when it wasn’t! Proud owner of at least one brain cell.

Eventually Rose x Juleka!

Very concerned with Juleka’s being. She wants Juleka as more than a friend but if Juleka isn’t comfortable with it.

Then she can wait until she’s ready. Her father supports but her mother doesn’t. She makes fun of her depression.

World of patience. Rose and she aren’t dating but they are saving for each other. Juleka was delirious when this happened. She’ll never admit her feelings. Worried about how people would act.

And of course Alya x Nino once Alya gets her head on straight.

These are mini-stories. I'm going to reference these and mention them when I can in the story.

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Bruce has movie nights.

No one knows where it is or what movie he watches. Alfred has an idea, and the boys keep trying to find where he goes. It's been so long since he's had something nice in his life.

He... adores his... children. To some extent. Okay, a lot.

But that didn't mean he could show how much he... loved them.

Regardless, they bring trouble where ever they go. Finally getting the conviction to watch a movie, he kept the tradition every chance he got.

Marinette accidentally found him at one of the run-down movie theaters around Gotham. A new movie she was excited for was already released in America but after Sams Club™

She never allowed them anywhere near her in a public place. It was chaos last time. She memorized the way to this theatre and avoided all the cameras. She checked, multiple times. On patrol.

Both, Mari and Damian, are 16.

Bruce is 38, Jason is 24, Dick is 26, Tim is finally 21. Dami is a winter baby. December. Mari is a Fall baby. October 8th.

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When Adrien and Mari hang out together, Mari loses one brain cell While Adrien gains one.

They can never get anything accomplished if it doesn't involve the miraculous in some way. Mari was talking about a recent design, Adrien was in the middle of drink soup on this cold day.

Marinette stopped talking as Adrien struggled to get a single noddle in his mouth. Mari opened her mouth to try and say something, but Adrien managed to get the noodle in and grinned. As if, he just got the best Christmas gift, ever.

Mari lost if after that. "A-Adrien!" Clutching her stomach, Mari continued to laugh, Adrien joined in laughing at the slurping noise he made Nino walked in a moment ago to them laughing. It was lunchtime and they went ahead of the Alya and Nino.

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Fu is a touchy subject with Marinette.

After the left with his past lover, he shortly passed away. Marianna wrote a letter back to Marinette and that just broke the Dam she built around her emotions.

Chat Noir revealed to be Adrien to destroy the Akuma after her.

Mari, as the newly appointed Guardian, didn't take away his miraculous. No one else was able and she didn't want anyone else to break down from the weight of responsibility.

Chat Noir took his duty with more dignity and less comical after the reveal.

I just saw the Chat Blanc trailer and.. I had this idea before but omg this is weird.

Let's.

Not.

Get.

This.

Bread.

Like most of this is going to be in Book 2. Book 1 is set in Paris, following Marinette. Book two is in Gotham, following Damian